Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - I'm in Ketosis!

Episode Date: July 17, 2017

This week on YKWD; With Robert Kelly back from his trip to Belgium, we have a packed house and all star line up! The original and Puerto Rican Rattle Snake himself Luis J. Gomez, from Tuesdays with Stories Mark Normand and new to the show Ian Fidance! Lauren attempts to give Luis sugar in his coffee and watch how he explains how his body is currently IN KETOSIS! Luis and Bobby get into it a little bit, Mark Normand is sharp and quicker than ever and we find out more about Ian's crazy sexual history. You dudes are gonna wanna hear this one! Watch/Listen/Share/Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a clash-defying podcast. It's not gonna be a podcast. It's no rules. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch? Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin.

That's how it all holds the- That's how it all holds the- You love the part, huh? I don't wanna do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Casas popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know Sound Why do I hear me and knock this? Oh?

It's way too loud. It's way too loud? Well, it's gonna be fine now. Are you sure? I sound fucking ridiculous to loud. What happened? I leave for a week and I come back the sounds fucked up. I sound like Nick DePolo.

It's sabotage. Why is the sound fucked up? Why why is everything fucked up? What do you mean you don't know you're the guy who you're the only person who touches this shit? No a lot of people touches who's touching it? Well, they just used it like 20 minutes ago, so was it who's they well I yeah, what did you do? Well, there you go something happened and I don't know what the fuck in this show that's fucking as the studio! The one who does the fucking studio gets fucked as usual.

I don't have done this show 30 times. It's never been right. Every time Mark's here, it's never right. I fucking never can get it right. It's part of the show, I thought. It's not part of the show. Every other show gets it fucking right. Yeah. part of the show I thought. It's not part of the show. Every other show gets it fucking right. Yeah, yeah, keeping Joe is great.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. It is. Norton show's fucking perfect. Yep, yep. I mean, Chip, it's not Norton, it's Chip. Yeah, he's easy. Wow, it's Chip. All right.

It's the number one show in the network. Is it really? Number one show. 70, over 70,000 downloads. Wow, and growing. The person that doesn't exist. Mm-hmm. Literally doesn't exist.

Yeah. Why is this, now it sounds all right. It's so good now, right? Now it sounds good. What'd you do? I fixed it. When, why can't you fix it first? Well, because the video...

Why can't we do a show with it fixed? Okay, well, we'll go for it. Why do I have to be the fucking test prototype? Why does the show that started the whole fucking network, why does that show have to be the fucking test prototype? Why does the show that started the whole fucking net? Why does that show have to be the prototype to get the shows the sound to be clear? Honestly, just your headphones were turned up too high. That was all that was wrong. Oh, okay. There you go. Welcome to the, you know what?

Damn! Go me. What's up, baby? How you doing? How's the skateboard? Yeah? We're on. We're on, dude? How you doing? How's the skateboard? You know what we're on dude. We're not waiting for you What do you think we we hung out waiting? 3.30. Yeah, let's go get on the fucking mic. You know what dude? What's up dude? Can we just do one thing before you get crazy? You're incredible firstly. Can we just do this? All right big J. Dexy girl is generous.

He's sexy. Watch this. Oh man. Oh man. Mark my face. Listen to the music. Oh man. Yeah.

Yeah. Look at this. Yeah The farts actually sound like the asses look. Yeah, the sound goes with the fart. They'll have their own personal This one this one is my favorite radio though these two these two red headed Sounds like a monster. Dad, I'd like to think that my podcast is changing people's lives. Oh, nice. Oh, man.

Hey, can you have fun and not just try to just demantle everything? It's, it's farts. What if we were to say demantle, I have to dismantle your fucking stupid speech as well? Oh, man. All right. I want, can we do something? Shut the fuck up. We're as well. Alright. I want, can we do something?

Shut the fuck up, we're doing this. This is what you're part of. You either go with it or don't. Alright? Fuck you. Sit this shut up or make, have some fun lines. Because there's nothing funnier and more exciting than chick's farting. And when did you get high, bro?

Yeah, exactly. Skank, the whole thing is what a fucking hunk of shit you are Fucking jokes. Let me tell you the place Even on skanks I Stop it. I just read it episode is already our chauffeer is dingleberry. Yeah, there you go Yeah, I opened his asshole with my hands. That's hilarious. That's not hilarious That's just that is hilarious This nobody in the world thinks that a fart compilation the some other

Asshole put together is better than me opening Ari's asshole with my hands and looking into it four inches away shut up In just mad because you're never gonna have a career because you look too much like Ari. You take your place Why do you gonna come in so fucking hot? Why don't you just have fun? fucking hot. Why do you just have fun? I am having fun. This is how I have fun. This is how I have fun. I have fun.

Why are you going to throw his whole career down the fucking dude? It's over. It's a fucking shave his head. Get rid of the glasses. Get a fucking nose job. Yeah, you do look like a pedophile in the 70s. Look at it. Thank you.

I think you look interesting. The lovely bones. It's a great movie. I think you look out of the box. Thank you. Out of the fucking creepy box. Somebody bought it in a circus. Well, like an 1802 Thank you. Out of the fucking creepy box. Somebody bothered a circus. Well, like an 1802.

Oh, chest of the attic, maybe. Hang on, this is a good one right here. Let's get back to this. Oh, she's hot. Oh, that was wet. I like that body there. Hi. Oh.

That sounds like a fucking ghost. That does it sound like a, like somebody snoring in the other room? Oh, it's gonna be big. Sorry. Why would she be being filmed? First of all, that's not fake, because you can tell by the way her ass. Yeah. That was a lot of fun.

That's fucking disgusting. Oh, I love it. All right, so listen, we're back, I'm back. Last week, Lynn Coplitz took over the show for me. What? What? She's got a special. I was in Belgium for a week. I was out of the country having a blast. They on a chocolate tour. The chocolate and lace, dude. How much fucking chocolate and waffles did you eat. Oh, God. Yeah. My God.

But here's the thing. Thank God. I didn't pack on too much because we were walking, God damn it, we were walking probably around 10 miles a day. Because there's no Uber, there's no, you just walk on cobblestones for hours on hours, on hours. And then my kid, he can't walk, so I got to throw him on my fucking shoulders. Max is 50 pounds.

It was pretty, at the end of the night, I was wiped. Physically, I was going to bed at like 11 o'clock, just fucking wiped. Because we're waking up seven o'clock. What are you doing, shows? It's just family vacay. Dude, my friend of mine rented a 10 person boat,

and we went from the coast of the memories just for you. What did they do for the rest of the people? I remember my friend, Ryan, who was a friend of mine, rented a 10 person boat, and we went from the coast of the memories just for you. What did they do for the rest of the people? I thought, why would nobody laugh at that? I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid. I tell you, I'm afraid to fag it.

This fuck on a bitch. Hang on a sec here. We'll not laugh it. It's just first time in the show. Who's not gonna laugh at any hits on you? Norman Silkhan. I would have been funny. I make fat jokes all day long. Yeah. He's afraid. Can I tell you what you did though? This is what you did.

I think this is what you did. What I do. You got to take a hit. You stumbled on it. Yeah, you got a little... He did. Here's what you did. You got a little too excited

because you thought of a joke. You got to whipped up and you... Right. And that's why he... As a fucking pro, he shut down. And this fucking, all of the three stooges in one face, he's, we've been fucking going, I've known him a long time.

He made him a mugot, I almost got kicked out of the comedy seller, Christopher Party. I had this go, I had this. Why would you bring the juiest of Jews? I had this go up to him and I said, go up to him and go, what's your name? And then go, look, this is just for comedy seller comedy, you gotta go.

Oh, I wish I video taped it. His fucking scared little face. She went what your name and he knew he was busted. He just didn't. He just did. And she went, yeah, this is for comedy seller. Do you work? He's like, you gotta go.

He's like, okay, okay. I was about to leave the whole plate of food. I was so excited. Oh, you gotta put the food down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I look behind okay, okay. I was about to leave the whole plate of food. I was so excited. Oh, you're gonna put the food down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I look by it, Bobby. At that point, you got to just say,

I'm never gonna work the seller and fucking throw the food in Liz's face. That fuck this place, sir, punching people. That's Lewis is fucking. Yeah, I'm out. You can't be, you can't be out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out. Don't hit your kids, just women. Yeah. So yeah, they can leave. Women have the choice to leave. That's true.

It actually is 100, I agree with that more. What is it? If you are going to choose one to hit, it makes more sense to hit a woman than it makes sense to fucking spank your kids. A woman is an adult, she can make decisions, she can leave. A kid has no choice.

So if you put your, you know, your wife over your name, it's like, how about you just don't hit either. No, you got to choose one. You need the outlet, you know, yeah, can I say something now? Please, do you have to sit you sat here? Farts? Can I get can I say this while we listen to Farts? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, when scopo, I like that compromise. I like when scopo is a producer, the show, yeah, producer. Yeah. That's how everyone felt about it, first of all. But what I would get every time is I would get a cup of coffee.

Yeah, when you went over this, we're not doing coffee anymore. Why? Oh yeah, I spent it on you. Because we had too much going on here. Can I, we don't eat too much going on here. I hang out with Seth. We had a couple of years in the room. I didn't know.

From Lane, the red. I had Kenny's. I had Kenny's. I had Kenny's. I had Kenny's. Listen, stupid, shut up. Shut up. She has AIDS. Listen, she got AIDS from Dave. And her dates, she got AIDS, she got, she got, she got kidney stones from Dave's awful cock. I got AIDS. Dave was just had dirt on his dick and he got in her placenta.

And now her fucking uterus is bankrupt. What it looks like a Christmas card. People got it on her microscope. No, she's got kidney stones. She's fucking, she's got, she's passing a stone as we speak really Can you put a microphone by her buzzing so get here come out? Oh? That's the cycle to the compilation sounds like a fun someone's spitting in the spatoon She got a fucking actual hey, that's alright. It was good

Buddy, why do you have a fuck it kiss your ass? I'm just why do you have an? Why do you have this? Buddy, why do you gotta fuck it? Get it, kiss your ass. I'm just saying. Why do you have an, why do you have this with me? I know that this was, I mean, get more angry. I got it, I got it. Why do you have this with me? You have some fuck, just have fun fucks. I'm having fun fucks. You're not, you come on and you fucking,

he does this every time with me. No, I don't. I have a grimace and it's actually on my face a little time. Get it the fuck off cause you used to not have it. You used to have a good fucking time. That's not true. Yes you did, you can. I've I don't want you sucked my dick on stage

Come on one of the funniest things I've ever seen I guess you've sucked my car. Well, can you Take it down cuz you go down fucking I got on last time I standing I got on last time I say anything. Wow. They didn't say nothing. They did. No, they didn't. You weren't going to advance.

First of all, you never did. I wasn't. I was. They did. They made me sign a thing saying if you have anything, I remember that would be considered offensive or whatever. And that was a big love. A video of me sucking your cop.

Yes. That was gay pride. That's right. That's true. Yeah. I don't know why that's offensive to anybody That's just love that's friendship and love you suck my day. You took it down Yeah, do we still have the video, but I was afraid that time in question I know you were afraid. Don't be afraid. I'm not afraid anymore. I don't I

Posted one of my favorite jokes every day and big J. Big J told me to take it down Yeah, I was like people are posting that like sharing it. I go Instead of seeing plan of the apes in opening night in Harlem is the true 40 experience. Jesus Christ Shares yeah, but I believe you know you fucking careers now where when you don't get in trouble from that Literally not one person went You know No, no, I was gonna say that's like a new kumi person went, you know, that's what you're like to stand cans. I was like, that's what Mark. No, no, no, I was gonna say that's like, like, new kumi, a logo.

It's just that on a plaque. Um, anyways, I was, I was a way for a week. Um, I had a, I had a good time. We rented it. We was a boat. We did it. It was kind of weird because you go there and they give you the key,

they give you like a 30 minute course on how to drive a 10 fucking ton boat And then they just three the keys and go go ahead. So you got to drive it. We drove the boat. Yeah, I had to learn how to Fuckin do a three point turn in a canal. It was fucking nuts. What? What? You had a parallel park the boat? Parallel park the boat. park. Do it. Yeah, of course, I do. They have the camera that goes behind the boat. And then look what's a yacht? It was huge. 70s.

It was like 45 feet. Yeah, it was probably a yacht, considered a yacht. What's it up here? The actual textbook definition of a yacht. I think it's a feat. It's a size. I think it's a size thing. Like they would call, they wouldn't call them.

Oh, I've been in a yacht yacht you six. She said a yacht You really do look like a gypsy No, I told him he's the male version of Stevie Nugs. Are you kidding shirt? Are you fucking lying on the Never been in the yacht. It feels good. I've never been in the art. I lied. You've never been in the art. Yeah, we can tell we looked at you. Oh, you probably cleaned one. That's pretty good. Um, what do we have to analyze everyone? Just keep going. What comics? That's what the show is or the bomb. Dana. That's an aspect of the show. All right. Well, you want this to be a fucking morning

zoo show? Speaking of shows. Oh, I, uh, a fucking, um, I guess it's all over. I mean, uh, uh, what? I mean, it's officially over. I mean, the opian Anthony thing. mean, the Opie and Anthony thing. Oh, boy. Here we go. Two years dog. Yeah, but I hope he was still on serious. Jim was, I don't know. There was still a thing that maybe someday and, you know, and now,

it's more likely now. Is it? I hope he's just going to probably go and link up with Anthony and do some. No, he's a little podcast or something. I don't know what he's going to do. No, he's a little podcast or something. I don't know what he's gonna do. Well, let's just say this to people, don't know if you're not in the no-opie got fired at serious satellite radio. I believe, I don't know all the details

because I just got back. I think I know what the whole story is. All right, go ahead, tell me. I'll just do a trim here. He took a video of role in shitting, and then, here we go, this is going to be roll. All right. Roll under somebody, HR got wind of it and they fired OP.

What are you doing, actouts? Well, I was doing for the auto people that was rolling shitting and then there was a camera clicking. These are old school camera OP used. What are you using? Well, there was rolling shitting and then there was a camera clicking. Oh, he's an old-school camera. Oh be used What do you use it? One of those flash balls? Oh, it got a stay still for you picture Oh jeez this I don't know why there's something about these girls not caring. It kind of turns me on Having a girl just fucking way out of fucking yeah, cuz you could could relate. Do you let her do it in your face?

Oh No, I've never been into that it would make me throw up But there's something about it just a just a hot chick That sounds like a door opening They all Dracula's coming in a room I bought it to suck your father. They all sound like something other than a fart like a coffin opening. Yeah, they all sound like something smells like one too. Oh, that sounded like you saw a stinking over.

Right. She's Italian. Ah, this is something hot about that. So wait, Opie just took a picture of someone shitting, that's it. That's not video. But that's like sexual assault and you know, it's not a change. Oh, video.

Is that it happened? That's it. So that's it. Can you read? You are. I don't know if that reads. I'm doing sound effects. You fucking stupid, Jew-faced.

Go around the block and come back. He's a tag. He's a tag. He's a tag. Oh, but he's. Are you Italian? Look at his fucking face. He's a talent. Oh, but he are you a talent? Look at his fucking face What? Oh my god. I hate it at the time The fucking son of Sam doesn't he?

Burkowitz a little bit. Yeah, I didn't mean that as a joke. I met that as well. I know you you caught it You were sorry. No, I'm serious. I know you do a little bit. Louis act out Berkowitz talking to the dog. Oh shit Is this what you think they're gonna do? You think you're gonna fucking come at me? Oh boy. That's the way you can get the fucking fans on your side Our mood you didn't even know I was gonna say fan that was perfect timing Just god giving him the win god was on his side I think the fans aren't under side of you instead of waving it. Nicely done, prospect.

Thank you, thank you. It holds on to the ball. Shit. No, no. You go, go take a walk. What is this, the 50s? Hey, Lewis, go take a walk. I'm not sure I choose no more.

What's Gayer, the fan, the Asian fan, or the little electric helicopter thing? Asian fan. Asian fan. All right. Gayer, there's the thing now you can buy it and just plug it into the top of your phone. Yeah. And it just starts spinning off your phone battery.

Like a little propeller? Yeah, that's it right there. Bob is using it right now. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh That's great. That's Lauren's lady. I have one of those. Ow. Yeah. I have one of those. Hold on, hold on guys, I just bought this trumpet. Here Bob, you want to play it? No, take it out. Oh wait, I'm sorry, that was my miniature elephant that I pulled out of my pocket.

Mark, don't you have a trombone? Bob, he took your phone really quick. What? I got a trombone right here. Here, let me get my drums. Oh my god. Look at that tie that you want my phone? No, look at your phone really quick Anyways, no waste on this scale. Lawrence maybe great if they were fucking that's just a picture of Lawrence closing Oh, yes, I do I need that yeah, we a kidney stone shouldn't be a pro Should we that's so funny that cavernous?

You stop smithering on me anymore floor we need comes to say this we need an intern to the coffee. Lauren we need interns. We got to get us coffee. We need yes. We need to get coffee cream. I was saying from now on anytime I'm on why can I be any guests just know I will personally get you guys coffee or juice or whatever you let me know because I take care of my fucking friends. That's what happens when I come in I make sure that

everyone's happy. Yeah, I'm drinking that. Can I just say some though? It's going to be 10 minutes late, but you will get it. Right. Better late than ever. Right. Yeah. And it won't be right.

Uh, he won't get the, he won't get it right. I'm going to come in it. I'll say, guess it. It's still a freak up. All right, here's a deal. Lawrence got kidney stones. We need and we might need an intern. Yes, come up here.

Just something matter for pussy. I've already offered that. We might need an intern. All right, what is your fucking UCB guys relax? Michael Winslow hour. Why don't you go fucking take a walk. Both he is. I'll do this with fucking Norton.

What's your name again? Uh, Columbia. Columbia. Listen, we need an intern for the show. Oh, he needs a gig. Why don't you call OBS right now? Why can't he call him back? I heard you got a lot of time.

He's got money. He doesn't need money. Listen, you got to understand $2 billion. It's actually, I walked in the first time I went on that show. This is where we've come as far as radio. The first time I went on that show, there was a girl that was sticking a whiffle ball bat up her vagina.

They called it the whiffle ball bat challenge. And there was lines on the whiffle ball bat from other girls. That's how far they got it up there. And when they took it out and it dried off later, the next time I was in, it was different colors. Whoa, and that's how you met Lauren. You wouldn't let go of that joke, would you?

I knew it was gold. Yeah. So, didn't there, like a 50 gallon drum challenge? Got it. What? They had the 50 gallon drum challenge or whatever to fit like a naked girl in a drum You remember that no, I don't right. Yeah. No, that was what Anthony did on his weekends

But I remember and to see that the show I mean For Obi-Wan get fired for taking a video of a guy taking a shit Seems a little yeah serious xm fucking stinks. Well, it seems a little like guys. He was on the outs on XM He stuck a whiff of ball bat up a girl's pussy, but he got a guy D side Dave took a shit and somebody's hat It's a little different in the in the studio. That's a literally shit took the guys hat because he didn't like it I hope it was a lot of shit, but here's the thing if that guy went and complained to upper management Yeah, and Eastside day we've gotten a lot of trouble for that

He's an employee when when said hey dude this guy took video of me Yeah, in a battle it's illegal didn't illegal act he went to upper management said dude I don't feel comfortable about this listen That's not the thing that's not the thing the thing is the thing is this is why would one of your soldiers do that Yeah, that's not the thing. That's not the thing. The thing is, the thing is this is why would one of your soldiers do that? Yeah, that's the thing. Why would somebody that wouldn't do it before, all of a sudden do it? That's the thing. It's probably builder.

Well, I don't know. I don't fucking know. But it's like, that's the thing. Your soldiers, the people that work for you, they got you back. You're in it together. Whatever you do, you do together. You got to kind of know your boundaries with them. You know what I mean?

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, look, is it wrong to videotape somebody? Oh, I think it's hilarious. I think it's hilarious, but it's a risk you take. I'm just saying the reason why. Like, it's not like, if you're in the studio and everyone's in a gag and everyone's doing something

and nobody complains and nobody's hurting, there's no victim. But if you're talking about the looking at the reason why like yeah, at that point, yeah, fuck I'm assuming a rolling in like maybe that's my that's my thing is like where my understanding is nobody like to be anymore. That was my understanding of this behind the scenes that serious XM with like the producers and the tone and fucking. That's, you know, the was running on empty over there. Yeah, it was. He lost his team a long time ago. I think so. Well, I mean, but he put together he had charade, Vic and Carl, the chef, right? Yeah, that was his

new team of God. You know, the new Patrice, Luis, he came to the bar. Go burst the chef, I guess. I don't know. I guess. I don't know. Tough to say. Yeah.

I don't know. When you took all the funny out of the room with Anthony and Jim and the, it, it, it became obvious that the funny instincts were kind of with them as well. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I don't, I shouldn't shut up the guy. I was kind of seeing meanhearted. Yeah, he seemed like mean spirited know I don't I shouldn't sit on the guy always kind of see meanhearted. Yeah, he seemed like mean spirited

I wouldn't say that. No, I mean, I thought I knew the guy I guess I don't I think you should offer a spot on the show Bob. Yes, it'd be nice to have him on a pod. It'd be great I don't think you do this show. I think I still think there no pressure into a position. You bring me coffee once a week pretty good I still think there no pressure into a position. Bring me coffee once a week. Pretty good. Lauren, can you please introduce our guest who's sitting here just hanging out? Sure.

I'm sorry. Hold on. You better not be faking this. Lauren, can you, if I see you feeling better for Chip Show, I'm getting ready. I can't even, I can't see. I'm getting literally getting ready. I don't even think I could see.

Lauren, can you, uh, you can't stay for Chip? I don't know. I will talk about it after. Lauren, can you have your pussy introduced him? Yes I help I help me Lauren, can you Can you Dave

Dave Fuck me Dave Yeah, he gave me days Dave Dave left sand in my pussy hole He told me it would. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. They really does. I think it's for the region. Whoa, hang on. So long, good. Oh my god. Hello. There's nothing funnier than fuck a chicks fighting. Oh my god, I love it.

Do you want me to be honest? No, I don't want anything to play along. Yes, play along. I don't want to. There we go. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Honestly, do you want to know I don't want anything to play along? Yes, play along. I want Wait wait wait Shit there's gotta be some sharding involved till you're not acting good enough. I'm not good I can't think left we know you can't act so it doesn't the business Come on son, you know you can't think laugh we know you can't act so it doesn't the business Come on son, you know you can't

Come on your audition stuck come on son. I introduce this fucking English. I want to see you fake laugh Can somebody this is loan doesn't remember his name that's why Point out that Lauren doesn't remember his name and that's why she wanted you to do something and give him a little bit. Why do you do that to somebody? Can you not use up being a nacea on my nacea? What? Double nacea. Fucking nacea.

Because I don't mean a thing. Because this is what style we bring. Many moons. Since first I saw you many moons. Since first we did the do many moons. So what's his name on yeah? Well, what is it? What's your name buddy Andrew Hankinson?

Andrew Andrew Hankinson a wow Andrew, how you doing buddy? Yeah, good. Thank you. I'm just I wanted to do you're doing a story on the comedy seller Exactly. And me and you're doing a little interview after because I'm you know I'm I'm in at the comedy seller and half of these guys here aren't Yes, well actually, I'm in now you're not I get booked once per month and if you want I'm a spot today bitch Get me out

Can you get my name no, tell him to fucking you get you want to show Andrew walk mark have actually interviewed Mark already for it. Of course you wow Impact you made on him is that you did not remember you as a human And I want to ask you about a couple of things as well How does it feel to be on the fringe of the homie cell? How does it feel to have to the fringe of the comedy seller? How does it feel to have to pay for a price for your meals? I tell people I put the fringe and I'm just talking about... I have to interview Luis for Timehawk New York as well. For what?

For the magazine? Comics with AIDS? Comics with AIDS? If you had AIDS, you'd be so much more fucking popular. It was about the roadside. Yeah, yeah, we did a roast, we did a roast mass, it was gonna be was great. Oh, there you go.

Big deal. A little feature. A full two page fucking thing. A big picture of me. I was wearing a black tan in it. It was great. Print is dead. You wearing black.

Black. A black tan. It was online too, but I'll tell you the print. I'll tell you the print is cool. I really like print. All right. I'm not for the print. I just wanted to do this guy.

We'll go back to the asshole. I'm in the middle of sentence. I know I don't like it Can we get a coffee? Yeah, she's got kidney stones. What do we want to do? It'll help the stuff coffee Nine of your fucking shows. I've never gotten a fucking glass of water. That's not true. You free food free drinks You get free food. Free food. First of all, can you stop just, when I say that, you're supposed to go fuck you.

Not just get serious and go, that's not true. I get, we take care of you. Well, I shut up. All right. So listen. I know, I'm joking. Can you listen? I have headphones on, I'm listening.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, what? You're fucking, what did you take Adderall? Are you on Adderall? I'm always on Adderall You're all over the fucking place Adderall you are you go from him to your man It's all of a shut the fuck up. We're talking about my medication

Well take some more of it and shut your face. I'll take you know fucking bump on our I'll do a line room. You got any more fucking Adderall you Freibass Can you You Freibass Anything you can free base a kidney stone all right listen no No, can you free this at all my Sport high would I would do it I would do it just for the fucking story

Listen i'll video story that if you're not gonna do it then shut the fuck up a bunch all right I'm not doing it all free biz I don't. I don't wanna fucking sit here like 13. We're just looking dude. Lauren, get a spoon. Listen. I wanna talk about this. You're gonna talk about this. I wanna talk about it.

I wanna talk about it. Shut the fuck up. What's the joke? I wanna talk about the OP thing. All right. Can we get back? You fucking psycho. We're trying. You go from far to this to Andrew. We're all on the road. How you gonna do this this one guy? And you fucking psycho. We're trying you go from far to this to Andrew

We're all this one guy and you fucking sitting in yapping. Can I I want somebody isolate So here's the deal Shut up So fucking sick of you. I tried to explain it you put the farts on in the middle of my sentence Listen, I want to fucking stay on topic for Christ sakes. All right, farties. This fucking Adderall crazy person I've done nothing. I've been great today. I want to know He turned your mic up. I know he's a Listen nice you and Gino Pascante. You're in Gino Pascante category. That is rough same comedy level

Yeah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that that was actually the most powerful thing that anybody's ever said Listen, I remember the guy who killed my dad looked to me in the eyes and I did it I know I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. That was actually the most powerful thing that anybody's ever said. Listen listen. I remember the guy who killed my dad looked to me in the eyes and said I did it. I fucking did it. Listen, I want to say something. I apologize. I went too far.

Listen. I'm serious. There was a lot. I went too far. I fucked up. That was my fault. That was the equivalent of you fucking my son's mother. Listen.

Wow. Geno's worse. I'm my son's mother. Listen, wow. Gino's worse. I'm sorry for that too. Listen, people. Listen, I think the OP thing, look, you guys don't want to talk about it, I get it. I want to talk about it. I'm talking about it. We talked about something at the beginning too,

is that he had a crew in there, right? Yes. And it was, I found out they were getting paid. Yeah, me too. That hurts, which bump our pace. What? Bump our pace. Bump our pace. Every time. Yeah. I don't care about not look. I've gone in and done Jim and Sam show without getting paid. It's not pay. No, it doesn't, but I don't care because I love Jim and Sam and they've done a lot for me and they probably also a bigger platform. So for the road and shit like that. But I've, I, no, no, no, it's not that. It's not pay. No, it doesn't, but I don't care because I love Jim and Sam and they've done a lot for me and they probably- Also a bigger platform, so for the road and shit like that. But I've, no, no, it's not that.

It's that, and I've done OP show a million times. I've actually lost money because I got to pay 50 bucks to park. I come into Westchester, I got to lose money. Yeah. But then when you sit in there, you find out that someone's getting 750 a pop. Yes.

And I'm actually getting 750. That's crazy money. I'm getting out the dime. I'm getting charged. I'm getting charged. I'm getting charged 50 bucks. Yes. And I'm actually getting $750. That's crazy money. I'm getting the dime. I'm getting charged. I'm getting charged. I'm getting charged $50 to do the show. But you get a free sandwich. Yeah, but it's like, you know what?

They were really going for Bobby's heart. Heart. I was a little, I was a little like, well, wait a minute, it didn't make sense to me. But I understand it because you, I'll tell you why, because you're're building up some you're building up a crew That's going to be loyal to your show We do I do Bennington's I do how it turns rap up show I do gyms. I do whatever show I want

Right, but the guys that you're paying are gonna do your show. There's co-hosts more or less like I mean they're on every show That's that's a different story if they're on every show. You's a different story. If they're on every show. But you don't think Vicks jumping around? Yeah, but it's different though. If you're on every show and your coach doesn't matter, like if like I pay Zach to co-host my show, he can do whatever the fuck he wants to do, but he's on my show every single time. He's my fucking coach.

Every time I could depend on him, he's there. Yeah, I understand that, but it's just, it's like, you know, I've been going in there a long time. Yeah. I mean, waking up at the crack of fuck. And look, it was in even exchange. You know what I mean?

There was a lot of stuff. I got to expose you. It was on a great show. Funny. Blah, blah, blah. But it was just like, you know, what the fuck? You know what I mean? I got a kid.

I got a fucking house. I got a mortgage. I like to, you know, if you, if you, at least given the opportunity, like, hey, do you want, but that's just not, that's the way the rolls after I dealt with that. It was like, all right, I get it. But it was you were willing to come in every day and be as co-hosts. No, if you sit for 750 of fucking pop, you would have for, well, I'd have to do the math, but I might have came in and went and did a couple days.

I would suck OBS cock for 750. I was a750 a show. Every show. All right. Thanks, Opie's done. You made him come. Yeah, I made him come. That's pretty good. I know.

I don't know. I just didn't know. But then when you find out that people are getting paid, you're like, what the fuck? And Shroud is making three times more than I am at Series XM. Tons of money. I'm going to throw a bottle through the window of that building. Not anymore. You could work it out like let me come in this

many times for a lower money. You know, look, look, I think he was trying to maybe he was trying to find a crew. Maybe he was trying to find his new opian Anthony. And I guess that's what you did with those three guys. I mean, that's how you do it. You pay if you pay people money, they're going to still turn this back on him. Oh, when a rolling was the booker and one of the producers, rolling was a book friend. Yeah, different. Um, and I hear you eating, you know, I don't think I think that rolling was just fucking. I, oh, sorry, I got no,

I just don't think that I seem like if you're going to go and do that and complain, you're done with it. I don't like the guys it is. Yeah, that's my point. You don't do it. Is that's my point is that it's not the fact that he did it. It's the fact that Roland was like, I don't want, I felt uncomfortable you doing it. I gotta go tell somebody because I would never do that to anybody. Yeah. And something I don't like I wouldn't do that.

I would have a conversation with them. I like it. Yeah. The fucking video on being at home. I'm not cool with that shit. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, but Roland's getting like stress rashes.

He was fucking miserable. Yeah, I mean, look, Roland's got a stressful job as it is. Totally. And it's just all, but we're all getting like stress rashes. He was fucking miserable. Yeah, I mean look everyone's got a stressful job as it is Totally and it just all and but now it's over I mean when you don't have to worry about any of it. I mean he will they're saying that he's got something as someone said that he's Sharad's got a TV Network who knows network. Yeah, I swear to God Or something. He's got some TV deal that he's plugging open into and the chef into and they're gonna do something So who knows great look man

Who knows I let's sound like when I listen to the show they were having a fucking good time with those three guys Oh, yeah, I mean so I don't give a fuck if you have in a good time have a good time Have a ball, but I can't I can't I can't not if the wrap-up show calls me I have Front I cannot if the wrap-up show calls me I have Yeah, I love those that a blast with those guys and of Jim and Sam I have to do that show Benning, Tim I'm not I love Benning. He's the best. He's the best 750 a shot. I literally I wouldn't do any of the other shows. That's great. I really wouldn't I mean they offered you 750 a shot that said dude, but you can only go on opus the only ready show a series I'm you're allowed to do 750 a shot

We're gonna have you in two three times a week, promote whatever you want. Would you do it? 100% why not? That's a lot of money. You can't bitch about that. Yeah, fuck that. I would go to the other shows and go look, I can't go on your show.

What's your pay me? I have a fucking house, I got a mortgage, I got a kid and I have to do this business business. This is not personal. Yes, I would, I would, of course he tells them. I would have that fucking, I might do it for less. Yeah, man. But here's a dig by me that I had to find that out through somebody let it out

of the can. Yes. I didn't find out, hey man, you know what I mean? That's what I heard. I felt like I was, I mean, as far as I was concerned, I was always a good, I was good on that show. I have a, my broke my knee, uh, fucking billy, the bass man, you know what, dude, boom, all this shit that I've done on that show. I have my broke my knee, uh, fucking bill of the bass man, you know what, dude, boom, all this shit that I've done on that show. Maybe it's a game of telephone

and they're not getting paid 750. Maybe it'll be charging them 750 and it just got to you when it was. What do you mean? I have no play the fart again. I was, I was, I was, he was playing the. I don't know what you mean. He tried to be funny, but you know, game of telephone, how it changes the message. Well, why was it? Where's the bomb down? I just give it to me. I don't want to be. I don't want to.

I don't want to touch it. I don't want you to touch it. Where is my bomb, Dan? By the way, I don't. What? You don't know. I didn't say I didn't know. Where is it?

I don't know. Ian's dogs. Where? In the curtain. It's in her pussy. Sorry. I'm sorry. I just really am a lot of pain right now. Ian's dogs neck It's interpussy I'm sorry, I just really am a lot of pain right now Morning, Elizabeth if you walk I mean this I had kidney stones, okay, and

Really? Yeah, you get it Second day, so sick. Oh wow. No, I had kidney stones and I mean this walking for kidney stones is the best way to deal with the pain It's all right. Go get me a coffee I'll get you It will yeah, I'll get you Lewis get it pay for me I don't want to carry a bunch I can carry one here. Get me a coffee more than one. What do we need here? How much do we need who wants what? Coffee cream should I can't carry a bunch. Hey Lauren. Yeah, use my I feel bad. Come on. Yeah Lauren, use my plat.

It really is better for it though. I swear to God. You might feel better if you ride Ian's unicycle. Yeah I got my bike. Oh you got your bike? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, any board? Come on, hop on.

Lauren, use the, use this. Thank you. Woo! Cool. Eric, let me read this. So anyways. So anyways, put that down as a fucking camera in front of you. Fucking moron.

I'm like dumb fucking robot. Put a large coffee a little bit of cream. Okay. Large coffee cream. Sugar. I want a nice coffee with a splendor and cream. Do all the sugar on the side. Okay. Don't put my sugar on the side.

Can I get a green juice? No. Why do I gotta say that? Because you can't have all these different directions and everyone's gotta do sugars. It's much more difficult. I want to splendor. You say sugar dumb dumb So you grab sugar and splint and put it on the side of one could do that on sugar

Good radio good pod here. What I don't feel good. I gotta come back What do you want to make two trips here? All right, good. All right, good. So This is the worst fucking show. No, it's not Let go shut up. I'll tell you why it's not about you. You think it's about you. That's why you defended it. No, because you're all about fucking you. No, I'm saying it's a bad show because the sound wasn't working.

She's sick. And we got to fucking the nothing's where it's supposed to be. No, it's not a bad show. Can I tell you why not? Can I tell you why it's nothing to do with me either? Because I sit here. It's all about you. I can't see it comes back to you. Sometimes, it's not a bad show. Can I tell you why not? Can I tell you why it's nothing to do with me either? Cause I sit here and say. It's all about you.

Sometimes he comes back to you. Sometimes I can step back. I guarantee. Sometimes because I'm a great producer, I can step back. You're not there. You're about you. You made it about you. It's over.

It's over. You made it about you. And I'm out looking out of here. I wish you out there. I wish you out there. I wish you out there looking at it. And I'm telling you right now, this is a interesting shit. Can you go take a walk? Yeah, I will. I'll go. We'm telling right now. This is a interesting shit. Can you go take a walk?

Yeah, I will We know you leave podcasts. I know you were We know Dude, do you think we're dumb as you know anything? I've never had kidneys don't you think we're we think we're as dumb as her I just said you can't get you put a rigging you can't get kidney stones It might help if I fall out. If it's good or bad, what if it's bad?

That's not bad. She's not bad. Walk it up. Look, she should go home. That's what she should do. I made a sit here. She should go home because she's like,

Roll your pussy around in the dirt. Yeah, go home the ground on the park. Come on, she's terrible. At least we're not hearing about Belgium. I would, I would, that's the good news. I would never bring up Belgium with you, cunts. You fucking, all you care about is doing gigs. All you care about is becoming the next

mogul of podcasting. I can't wait till it dries up like fidget spinners. I really can't wait. fidget spinners want to wake quick, huh? Of course, that over three days. What the fuck happened? I get him for a dollar. My neighbor and now I'm like, dude, you want to just give me,

he's like, no, five dollars like nobody's buying him. Yeah. One of the last time he saw one, he's like, yeah, it's over. It's a fad. You said, I was thinking about this though. I was like, why? White people fads are so cheap.

Like, you know, like fidget spinners, pugs, white, that's a white person fad. Black people fads are expensive. They have like fucking hovercrafts. Like fat leaves? Yeah. White chicks, Jordans, like it's crazy. Right. white person fat black people fads are expensive they had like fucking hovercraft That leaves yeah Yeah, white chicks Jordans like it's crazy, right? Yeah, well, I don't think Jordans are fat. I think that that is black guys with fidgets. I know sorry

I guess the fiddgets bought Yeah, those are those are handguns called a nine No, I would not bring a Belgium to you fucking morons because you don't have the ability to talk about that. I can talk about it. I don't go I'm going to go to vacation. I don't know. I've been an Amsterdam Italy Spain. You put on fire. Can I try to explain shit? You're the same way. You're one of us. Listen, you're not one of us. You're not even one of us, okay? All right, you're one of them, definitely. This is an a fish concert. I mean, you're not cultured. I mean, you're not cultured.

I'm not cultured. I never said I was cultured. Why are you saying we're putting words in my mouth? Why are you, that's what you think I'm thinking. That's why you go mental inside. You are for un-fucking cultured. I've been to fucking everywhere. I never said I was cultured.

I never said I was cultured. I never said I was cultured. You are for un-fucking culture. I've been to fucking everywhere. I never said it was cultured. I never said it. You just said you can't talk to us about Belgium. I said, because we wouldn't be able to have a conversation about traveling. No, that's not what I said. Culture. I did not say that.

That's how dumb you are. You are. This is why you're fucking stupid. I hope you die. I said, I know you do. I hope you don't. I won't die. You don't mean it.

I do. I have a guest here. I said, I said, I said, you don't mean I have a guest here. I said I said I said You don't know about vacations you never go on vacations. I've got been on vacation. Where was your last vacation? I want to Puerto Rico, but when you went home. I'm home coming. Yeah, that's visiting on Dottie It's your birthright. Yeah, you know I wanted to hear your vacations. I'm to Ireland next week. No, you be. I guarantee you get on stage.

Of course. Exactly. That's not a vacation. I've never been to Spain. I don't want to go on vacation. I know you've never been anywhere. You want to Canada kind of. I went to Amsterdam.

Yeah. I went to Amsterdam. Yeah, but did this not vacation. That's some stupid gig you went on. No, I didn't. I did hookers in weed when I was fucking. No, no, no. My mom died when I was in Amsterdam.

Is that right? While I was in a hooker. Probably. No. That's why I like to think of it. Hey, my mom passed me with that hooker mom died when I was in Amsterdam. Is that right? Why was in a hooker? Probably. No. That's why I like to think of it. Hey, my mom passed in with that hooker's body while I was pocketer. Where have you been?

I went to Palm Springs. I've been to Malta, which is an island south of Sicily. I went to Gozo, which is where they had the caves a calypso. What do you do with your finger right now? Just proving a point. Yeah, we don't like it. But it's down, I'm going to break it.

What? You're in all like silly places, but you're looking at really mixed things. I swear to go in a point. Yeah, we don't like it. But it down I'm gonna break it. What are you really? You don't like silly places with your look it really makes sense You got to sell camel back somewhere It's like I've been a Saturn Is that what you got that what is that around your neck? Is that a cross? What is it? It's a scapula? What what? I got it in a Santa Ria store comes rings. What why? Look at those rings. I stopped talking over him when you shut the fuck up and let him say something nobody's not interested if you have that many accessories to get out fucking quips and let somebody fucking have a conversation thank you what were you saying what is it what's a scapula what is it scapula it's uh so this

is uh virgin Mary uh digwata loopay and on the back is the devil, so I keep marrying my heart and the devil behind me. What are you religious guy? Are you a religious guy? Uh, no, I used to be when I was younger, but I get something's out there. I just don't know what it is. So you, your parents, your mom must be pissy because she's Italian, right?

Oh no, my mom loves me. My mom never went to church. His mom's going to be Alan. I used to go to... Pfft. Ha ha ha ha. It would be nice if you loved God and Jesus. Why did you give up Jesus? He was always there for you.

And why did you turn your back on Christ? Well, this isn't a morning zoo at all. I didn't mean to do that. If you're going to accidentally hit a fart button, there's a problem. Right. So you've been accidentally hit a fart button, there's a problem. Right. So you've been to, you've been to your a couple of times. I only one wants.

Right, okay. But my point is that you guys don't do vacations. No. You guys don't, you don't take, I didn't do the one I was your age. We got a word? I didn't take the fucking vacation either. I've been to Jamaica.

That's not a vacation. Yes, it is, dawg. I recorded Jamaica and you sit on the beach on smoke weed. I didn't do any comedy. Yeah, that wasn't my choice. You could get bugs. You tried to crash a festival. You're like, what's a skank? I don't know why I went Indian there. I don't know. It was terrible to make it. I like that because it was terrible. Oh my goodness. I am in Jamaica. I do not know Damn it went off in 10 minutes

We're still in here and about You would have been doing a fucking beatbox Did you make a music at the same time As a direct dialect of a part of the island? Dan's in Queens tingling right now This is I'm so fun but I apologize I'm a little tense You are in the middle of the day I'm a fine, but I apologize. I'm a little tense. You're I am a little tense Because I I'll tell you no not hard disease. I'm a part of my family diabetes

It was it was travel what you know traveling to another country Seven hour flight on a two-hour with a kid train ride with a cab ride to a boat With a four-year-old Get off your phone fuck face. Oh Get off your phone. I got a fucking babysitter them confirming you know that I got a fucking check that well Say that then don't just get on your phone So you want to interrupt the show and go hey guys just so you know you're on camera You're interrupting it as you're fucking on it. I'm sitting there talking about my kid

And you take your phone out like you out like you're a fucking 12 year old at a comedy show. Should I tell you what happened? Please. You reminded me of my child when you mentioned your kid. Well, fucking think about him later. What's up my kid? I gotta confirm with babies.

I'm listening while I can from baby. What do you mean confirm a baby? This is where you know your parent, right? What happens when you're home with your kid? You do things where you work. I have a wife that stays home with the kid. Well. Ha ha ha.

That hurts. Ha ha ha. That hurts. Ha ha ha. Yeah, we're a happy family. Listen, that just got back from Belgium. Um, it was stressful. I'm stressed out. I'm, you come back from vacation. You don't have vacation from your vacation?

No, because it's just, it's not an easy thing having a four year old. I used to go, I've been to Amsterdam. I've been to Denmark by myself, and it's relaxing a shit. You know what I mean? Because you just wake it up, get in a little coffee, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then you stay out, but having a four year old, it's, which, I love, by the way, because you know, it's the best thing in the world having your kid. It's all right.

Both. But it's, it's, it's really hard because you're sitting there going, Max, no, no, Max, he's trying to kill himself. And over there, we went to a castle and there's no railings on, they don't care. They're not, it's like, look, they don't sue people over there. So they don't have to have everything buried or, somebody didn't fall off in the suit and where they had to put up a fence on the castle wall. They just let kids run around on the fucking wall and they don't fall off. And if they do, you go to the hospital and you

fucking deal with it. So, you know, my kids run around in the castle. He's almost fucking killing himself every five seconds. Anyways, I guess it's dressed out of vacations. All I'm thinking about his work and my phone and I'm missing shit. Then like I could never do it already did. That was I'm so jealous of worry. I heard it already last night and we went skateboarding around the city like fucking children, right? But it was like one of them, it was so much fun. I had so much fun.

He knows how to live. He's okay. And it was, it was like a realization. I was like, because he was talking about it and he was saying how we had a conversation with his dad and his dad was just kind of like, you just kind of do whatever you want to do, huh? And it was like, yeah, that's kind of like how I live my life.

Like I literally get up and I choose to do what I want to do. And that in my opinion is like real success. You get to a level where you can just say, hey dude, I'm going to do this today. I want to do this. You might want to work. You might want to work really hard. You might want to write whatever it is. But that's like a level, or is one of the only successful people in my mind that I know,

like truly successful because he's the only guy who just kind of threw the roadblock up the window. But I kind of just say something about that. I think you're younger guys, and it bothers me. That's why I like Skankfest so much. That's why I like that that exists, is because it's the only time that we get together as a community. Yes, I mean, hang out.

But me, Norton Patrice, Keith, we used to go on vacation together. We used to go away, no comedy. Really? Yeah, of course we go to Brazil and bang hookers, but we went on vacation together. We went as a group as friends to hang out and just be funny. The reason why we're comics is because of what we do off the air, not for these people that are listening.

The shit we do, just hanging out. So he's got it. So I think you guys should do that. You should go for J. Berthay, we're going on a good weekend thing. You should go the fuck away, but not comedy. Don't do a set. It's not going to fucking, look, I went away this week. I didn't think I won fucking second of my career.

One second of anything. And when I came back, I was rejuvenated. I was ready. I had a million ideas of things I wanted to do. And now it's just, there's no fear in him. I don't have fear of shit. And I came back, this is the funny thing too. And it happens, and it called a miracle, call it coincidence,

call I don't know what the fuck it is, but it happens too much to me, to not acknowledge it. I come back, I said, you know, I don't care about anything. I'm going to have fun with my family and I'm going to experience this other country and I'm gonna go learn how to vessel a boat and all this shit. And I came back and there was just 19 residual checks. I mean, but not the law in order, like the good ones.

And it's like, that's happened to me so many fucking times. Beautiful. That's beautiful. Oh, fuck me, this is great. It just came in. Well, when you go out and you be a human, you get this shot in your arm. Like, when I went in way to Palm Springs,

I didn't do anything comedy, and I had a hard time at first. Yeah. And then I came back, and I was just on fire, was so fun again, you know, just to go out and everything. Like when we all went to, uh, that like, mandate, like, skate,

when we, when we all got stakes, you know, like the second day of the year, whatever, that was so fun. But I think everyone gets. You're just right now. Why? Because I told her not to put sugar in it, and you fucking yelled it. You fucking yelled at her.

You shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up, Ian. I'm in the middle of a sentence. Not shut up. I'm in the middle of a fucking sentence. Tell me to shut up. I just like with Sony. I was just flipping out.

No, I'm not. I'm not going to told her shut up multiple times. That's not the gag here. I'm not told to shut up over and over again. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? I said, don't, hold on.

I said, don't put fucking sugar in the coffees and then you yelled at her like dead Get the fucking sugar in she put sugar my I said I cannot have sugar my fucking coffee I cannot have sugar because I'm in fucking ketosis At least you got a drink I'm just a I At least you got a drink That's the Fatest thing I've ever heard I'm in ketosis There's no way I can drink this

I can't drink sugar I can't drink fucking sugar and I want a cup of coffee Listen first of all how are you blaming me? I said, please you literally blaming me? I said put my Literally said turn I said my Spender it is blender I said put my Spender it you touch me. I'm gonna break your fucking finger Okay, dude if you have any balls at all you'll touch him don't touch me, dude

Please don't touch him. Please don't fucking touch. Don't take that shit He's gonna rip that rope. He's not gonna do anything to you. I will fucking hit him with you beat up I have a shovel. I'm not a foot of a hobby. You're not a foot of a hobby. You're not a foot of a hobby. I'm not afraid of a Andrew Henry. You're not beating up anybody.

I already got the right up in the fucking time out of New York. Yeah. You're not beating up anybody. Fucking murder out of the circle. Stop threatening people physically. Don't touch me. Our knees just touch. Your cutosis will go crazy if you hurt people.

Our knees touched together. I'm making you angry man. Yeah, why? Maybe you should not do this. Listen. Listen to me. No. Just talk about how I was thinking.

I just want to fuck you up a club. I have had a cup of coffee today. Listen. Listen. And rule my coffee. I didn't do it. I said put my splendor in. That's it.

Dude. I said put my splendor in. I said, hey, make it easy. Bring all the fucking sugar on the side. Yeah. Well, hey, she's got got kidney stones and then I've got ketosis That sounds right The rail As a kid

Oh As a kid The rails like a Taylor shake it Baby I Should fucking pick this cup of hot coffee He's fucking I get third degree birds I don't think it's hot enough. Yeah, I don't think you get in I this is like you get it in you This is like a spider moment dude you know let him fuck it talk to you

Body before I don't know him. Oh, shoot him in the foot. You're a catosus Moses. You're not a nutty pussy. You're gonna touch you like that, catosus. You're off sugar. You're fucking off those sugar. That's the best one. Yeah, the upskirts.

Oh, yeah. a fucking hooter. Oh look at the labia. Buddy. Buddy, buddy, buddy. He is human baby. How's your baby sitter? How's your baby sitter? I gotta find one still.

How do you find a baby sitter? Just hits up, open my comics Lewis does use Twitter as Siri right he really goes listen. I'm in Houston I need to ride from the airport see that before yeah somebody drive me to this Albany, but it works There's there's some of my weed people like I'll do it Lewis, what's wrong? Are you mad buddy? No, I gotta find a babysitter. I use and I ask you can you find it off camera? Oh, you should postmate. Cause you're a little, you're there. Where you going? You're not gonna leave, are you?

All right, you're not gonna leave though, right? You look like, are you coming back? Lou. Lou. Lou, don't take your skateboard. You don't need your skateboard. No! Don't take your skateboard!

Ha-ha! Don't roll in any sugar. Ha-ha-ha! Don't roll in any sugar. Don't go into ketosis on the way there. You don't understand. Oh, this sweet tooth. Shit, Lou just left. What ketosis?

I don't know what the question is. Ketosis is when your body, you're deprived of carbohydrates and sugars for, I think it's seven days. And then your body just starts eating fat. Oh, that's how the Ackins diet, no sugar, no grains. If you can get her mentally. Yeah, right. No, that's all the time. Yeah, it's a comedy.

I'm a mental patient too, so I can't fucking. I really, I just screamed at you for fucking talking to people. Sorry. No, no, it's me. All right, well, it's, it's Farley feels gentler in the room. Well, man, he's he's coming back. I hope I don't hopefully not. I hope he didn't walk off a podcast. Skate off a podcast. I hope it's not a little little tiny Italian man who did it. I've been fucking sitting

here for years screaming at him. And it's just a little tiny Italian Juman You got you got him to leave oh shit me for you. Yeah either. I know. I know you didn't get hit with your nervous No, okay, I do punch me in the face. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes Lewis will. Yeah He will Oh, you think I never been punched into face before I Don't think it was really hurting you know, no, no, he's a sweet heart. What's in that fridge anything in there? Give it a little what do you want a beer we got beers. Oh, you do we do I'll do a beer all right We got him for you. What do you want no sit down Lauren sit down? Is there really one in there? Yes sit out Lauren

You've done too much. Thanks No duels. Two. You want to have some fun? Well, tonight, I apologize. Oh, baby. Anyways. It's a twist off.

Oh, is it? Yeah. We talking about, where it is. Listen, real quick. Thank you. We were talking about the OP thing. I don't want to leave that open ending because we set a lot of crazy shit there.

OP thing? That I don't want to take it out of context. But yeah, I mean, it was, I think it's a, it's an ending to something that we all had success with. Yes. And it's kind of sad to me to see it. And I, you know, Jim and Sam are doing well, Anthony's doing well. I hope Opie lands on his feet, which I know he will with something.

Yeah, it was kind of weird with that paying thing, but it's just what's up. I used to drive around after school, listen to you guys on the radio. I still got an asshole friend that's like, you're not a real comic till you aren't Opie and Anthony. Right. Well, it was, it was the, it was the, uh, murderous row. Yeah. I think it was the best but they

set the bar down I mean you wouldn't stuff from foundry.com or ever any good home to listen to them I was big it was big foundry Steve I'll get it someone you see with the weapon mount Wednesday bumper six it was so big at one point man when they were on XM and we and I remember going they went all the college store on on K rock and then halfway through that show they'd go over to the XM studios and do the rest of it over there Yeah, and we'd do the walk over and there was just a ton of fans would come with us and they'd come in and sit on the XM side And I'm telling you the I used to walk out of there sometimes and be like I feel I don't feel good as a human I feel what what I just and what I just saw, I feel bad.

Like what did I do? You know, it's radio baby. But it was crazy, it was a really crazy show. And then virus tour, they were doing arenas and shit. Yeah, it was not, man. It was the best of times. And McSherio got a guy kicked. Fire, yeah. And then the church. best of times. And McSurrio got him, got kicked. Fire, yeah.

And then the church. And it sucks, Pat's cathedral. Any, but if you work with anybody for that long, if there is the communication lines fall apart, it deteriorates from the inside. Yeah. And then, you know, there's nothing you can do about it. And it's sad.

It is sad that they're not friends. Yeah. You know, that, I mean, Anthony and Opie talk a little bit, which is good. I don't know if, I don't think Jim and Opie talk. No way. You know, I know Jim and Anthony talk, but you know, it's over.

Everything comes to an end. No matter how much you love it, everything comes to an end. Except for the stones. Love the stones. Stone is still here. I'm sure either good except for except for the stones love the stones. Stone is still good. I'm sure the Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, the kidney car. Yeah. Yeah, fucking sad. So anyways, there you go. It's over and and then we were talking about vacations. Yeah, you guys you young for how old are you 33? Yeah, dude, you need to start. Here's your problem.

You can't do it. I can't relax because you think that something's gonna So other somebody else is gonna get something that you might have had a shot again You missed that. Hey, can you do this? Can you open for that? Oh, I fucking missed it. I go. I found somebody else Yeah, but that doesn't happen in life What happens all the time now it doesn't you miss it. What did you? You're you're good You know, I mean I'm doing I have everything ends. I don't know. You know I'm always nervous I'm gonna get you in the way begin to you don't die. I hope he's gonna do something else. He's not out of the business

I don't know it seems a little off Instagram he's cooking out on us. What do you mean he's cooking? He's like doing weird videos and singing and shit I can't Got to him fucking Lewis left I took a skateboard that was so I know that skateboarder so off brand you should be the one with the mini skateboard Yeah, I got a bicycle. Oh, you got the helmet. Yeah, you have a helmet. No, I don't wear the helmet. Oh, you should like indoors Hey, I'm here put the bucket like indoors.

Hey, guys, I'm here to put the podcast. I can't believe he left. That's so funny. Crazy. This is a second time he's been on my show that he's left. He's tried. Last time he tried to leave too. Oh, really? Yeah, we got no.

Did he leave? No, I told him to sit down. Yeah, you know, you don't believe podcasts. Yeah, you know, you know, just who leaves podcasts? He got opi'd. You're fucking. You just fucking, you can't just be on podcasts? You got to open. You got to. You're fucking. You just fucking, you can't just be on the phone the whole time. Yeah, yeah, I don't think he had a baby said just go.

I mean, I would, you know, just go on the other room and take care of business. I think he's listening. Yeah, he might be. He's all right. Maybe he's trying to get back into ketosis. Yeah. I'm so sugar at it.

Lauren, why did you, why did you put the sugar in the coffee? Because he said sugar was very confusing. And then you did you why did you put the sugar in the coffee? Because he said sugar. It was very confusing and then you said sugar and a lot of pain. Spurn up. I said I said I said, let them yeah, put splendid yours. Yeah, I just said put splinter in mine. Yeah, I said ice coffee bitch That I love you learn Did you say ice coffee? No, I said coffee. I said green juice Did you say ice coffee? No, I said how coffee? I said green juice. What was the only take cash, Mike?

When was the last vacation you went on? I went to Palm Springs in January. I went for five days. With your family? No, I went with my ex-girlfriend, and it was so fun. And really, and it was like, we did like, Rupon. I did a commercial. Are you landing a plane right now?

I'm talking about hair. All right, well. So I did a JetBlue commercial and they gave us these tickets to Palm Springs. You did a jet blue commercial Yeah, yeah, it was a Terrorist I had to be a time travel agent and my name was Jerry Kuschenbaum I had a fucking producer who didn't have kidney stones. I'd pull that up. Yes on the internet It's there's still like putting it together. It was like this web thing.

My show's off to it. Yeah, right. Yeah, it was really fun. Yeah, it was a branded commercial. Yeah, how great are those? Dude, the pays on the bill. Are you? Are you fucking nuts?

I didn't want to like 800 bucks or something. I'm living off it right now. Really? Really? The money I got off the branded, I could have took the rest of the year off what did I did it for a bank? This year I didn't know and Mitch Horowitz directed it. Oh, that's big. I do that's real big dude Fucking crazy, and you'll never see it. Yeah, I hope you never see it That's a thing.

These things like they do them. And then they just like, they put them for, I think it was like an in-house thing just for Jeff Luke, because there was this promotion where they had discount tickets from JFK to Palm Spring. Yeah. So, yeah, they had this whole installation in Soho where they took an event space and turned it into a 1960s travel agency.

Lauren, don't worry about it. Thank you so much. Money, it's great. It was so much money. And I've never seen it. And they chit, yeah, yeah. And we all type writers and people come in, you take their info out and you give them like an experience.

And then they put it together as a package for this sale of the tickets. So it was really fun. When I got my check, dude, I was like, you're gonna be kidding me. Really? Buddy, when they, are you union? Yes. I'm not union. Are we talking in the hundreds of thousands?

I'm not gonna tell you what, but let's just say this way, it was like book in a show. Oh, wow, like a TV show. It was like book in a pilot. It was like book in a TV show. Holy shit. A TV show. For a day's work. I did three days still three days, but Like three up it was like book is having three episodes. I was dead

I couldn't believe it and the work was so easy. Yeah, it was so great. It was fun All right, Mitch. I mean, I got to work with Mitch. Yeah, it was nuts Sam's girlfriend was there right Beth? Bath, she was in it. That's why I met Bath. Boy, she must be loaded. Well, she was great. She was great. She was real sweet on it too.

Yeah. So yeah, those branded to fucking. Yeah. I just don't know. So you took a vacation with her. Yeah. You got free tickets. And you go that you spent a time where?

Where were you? We went to Palm Springs. We stayed with a friend of mine Lewis left It makes me laugh He's probably doing like a live pod from the side I fucking left scats fucking know what dude go my to duck I got a last skater

His board is like, I like his board. I like his board. Those things are scary, man. They zip around. What are you, a fucking 80 year old man? Yes, have you seen me? They zip around.

So you, you, I'm sorry, I cut your ass. That's all right. So you're in there with, you check. You still with this girl? No, no, no. Oh, you broke up with her. So she got a free vacay out of you. Well, you know, with this,

oh, there he is. Well, let's wait. That might be somebody else. That might be the go mites. Can't be funny. 10 guys just came up here and beat the shit out of you. Yeah, it appeared and we just can't tattoo. Yeah, they're all just all in black fat and beat the fuck out of you.

One chick to shit on your mouth. I'd be grateful for it. How you into that? Why you like that? I mean the hookers stop and you like hookers like a hooker. Yeah, how you do hookers now? Really yeah, how much what's the most you'll spend on a hooker? Well, I just got wanting a lay a nice little trans gal wait a minute And hang on what's that? Wait stop it. How do we not get this already? Well, okay?

I eat the two-hour show. Can you have some slack and trust that I have a fucking Bob? I'm so excited all right relax You fucking homo I'm freaking out I think it's okay. Did you suck it? Yeah What's your number? I got it. Let's All right, wait a second now. Uh-huh. What are you doing?

I'm going to leave. He's not going to hit you. Relax. He's going to be with the skateboard. He's going to be just gay men and fucking wrapped you. Like that guy with a guitar on YouTube. Oh, man. He comes out of frame.

The skateboard just broken in half. And he goes, what? He started it. He's just dead. You know, he's dead. You be dead. That's the thing. And then we rummaged to your phone for those photos of that train.

Yes, let's hear about it. Do we know who that was, by the way? That's what it is. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm positive. Okay, is he coming up? Yeah, I feel like I can get him. What's up?

Did you just take care of it? Huh? You good? No green juice? Did you get a coffee are you sure you did did you get a coffee are you in ketosis oh good good get back at the guys you're right here let me hug you oh come on give my hot glue low get off me lay good my hug give me a big hug. Get my kiss. Get my kiss.

Get my kiss, like a kiss me. Kiss him like a kiss me. Kiss me, Lewis. Come on, Lou. Me and Lewis kissed the other night. It was pretty good. It was full lips. Lewis got nice lips, man.

Yeah, lips can't lose. Look, don't let them. Don't get catched, stop. Don't, what do you do? I got mustache going on. Oh, look. Look, the seduction's there. Lou, can I just tell you something, your anger.

I feed on it like fucking cant Dracula. When you get angry, there's something in me because I'm a psycho and I get angry too, that I just, I feel like we're connected somehow. Like I'm getting angry with you. When you threaten his life, I was smiling. I was too, actually. I was just like, it was smiling. Ha, I was too, actually. I was just like, it was all port timing.

I was like, you can watch it happen a lot, cause I hit on multiple, I was like, it angry. So first starts with Bobby screaming, and I shut the fuck up. Yeah, and then I go, that was actually not to you. That was to him. Yeah, but it seemed like it was to me. Well, because you have everything.

I also nailed a great joke in that moment. It was poor. I like the joke. I don't remember it was a good one, but I acknowledged the joke. The boat. I actually acknowledged it. The boat was early. The boat's only for him no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I don't like that. That's like a fucking. There's two. There's not two use. New layer, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear, and you see L.E.A.R. We're not a spite.

We're not a spite. We're not a spite. Where the fuck is that queen going? I think it's in the background somewhere. So listen, we were at the point, Louis. I'm so glad you came back. If you left, that would have left forever. I wouldn't have left forever.

I just wanted to be at a coffee. Listen, we know. Relax. We can relax. breathe breathe breathe breathe listen Look those lips you got rosy Perez lips He's got good lips. Yeah, I'm gonna smash back in my chest. What? Retarded Reacon my Mushma my chick was like I like your chicken my girl. I got a girl. Oh, I met her

She's a nice girl. Yeah, I like her. She was she was very cool I actually met her before I knew it was his girl and she was really sweet nice person I'm glad you dated a nice person funny too. That's good for you Just a funny good chick, but she told me to grow it in and I was like well. She did yeah She likes it. You go to one of her but she wants to bring you home to the family. If you're familiar, yeah, she doesn't want you to not fit in with that fucking unconnected facial hair. They bring him cake.

I'm ketosis. It's a birthday party. Put the cake away. I'm gonna fucking smash you. Los Kitosies. Hey, yeah. Is that keyline? Why you motherfucker? He leaps on a skateboard. Hey, is that keyline? I'm on the fucking

God's on a skateboard. Shoot shoot shoot. That's what happened. But it's the funniest thing I've ever heard on the show in the last year. Yeah, as you go in, I mean, fucking ketosis is one of the fucking gays things I've heard and one of the funniest things

I've ever heard. This year is that the fucking the the off-thetic rage that came out of this fucking Diacquian. I mean, I think Richard Simmons would get just as mad. I mean fucking Cotosis. No, no, no, let me play. It's the best thing I've ever seen. You screamed, then he told me to shut up like five times in a row.

And then he touched. And that got me angry. Yeah, but you did threaten his life. You literally physically said I'm going to beat everybody in here up. No, no, no. Including the writer. I said, no, I said he touches me. No, you said, I'm not afraid of anybody.

No, I will beat this shit out of everybody. He said, you said, you said, did touch me. He's not going to do shit. I got you back and I'm said every I'm not afraid of anybody. No, I will beat this shit. You said you said you said dead touch me. He's not going to do shit. I got you back and I'm like, I'm not afraid of Bobby. I'll be a Bobby Mark the fucking writer and not all the same time though. Same time. No way. Come at you with a beer bottle. I'll hit you with the mic stand. I already know where I'm going to hit you. If I've already worked and mapped it out, I already know what mic stand I'm grabbing right here and I'm in the temple. No, I'm going to hit you right I'm grabbing right here. And I'm in the temple. No, I'm gonna hit you right here in the jaw.

Yeah, I'm gonna get, because I know your mouth's gonna be open, because you're gonna, I'm in ketosis. And I'm fucking hit you right, you're fucking open mouth. I think I can take, at the same time, I'd hit you with your own board.

Yeah, I'd hit you with your own board, I'm, whoa. Hey, the bomb and Dana your own boredom. Whoa. Right. The bomb and Dana makes an appearance. Listen, we're on the bottom. I want to say something because I think you'll be into this. I don't know where, this is the weird part about you, Lou. I don't know where you lie on this subject. I know where I lie on this subject.

I don't know, I know I'm a kind of think would be there, but he is outly dating Trannos. He fucks Trannos. I know. I know he fucks Trannos. I know. I know he fucks Trannos, but here's the thing too, is like, I call him Trannos. Is that offensive to Trannos? I know. It would be, it would be offensive to us.

You want to call him Trannos? But Trannos. No, Tranns, Vestite. I can't, add a letter. No, it's a different gender. Trans, transgender. Trans, transgender, that's the thing. That's the sweet, trans, Vestite.

Trans, yeah. The Rocky Hall, I pitch you a good movie. I just, oh, speaking of good movies, I gotta do a read real quick if you don't mind. I forgot about this. We have this great new sponsor, the show, and I went, and I'm not lying about this, I know a lot of times we do this read,

and you're like, ah, I fucking do this. When I tell you I do it, I did it. I went to deepdiscounts.com, and I to the site and I actually bought a bunch of stuff for this vacation. I went on because they have a DVD player on the boat. Nice. And I got Rocky Harp picture show. Uh-huh. I got the what the Lou helped me out. The power Rangers. Uh power Rangers. I got that for the kid. Yeah, and then I got Doctor Who, the series. They love that shit. No, I got Doctor Who for me. That's all for the both.

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That's the key. Two things, you're gonna get great stuff like I did for the kid. If you're going to weigh this summer and they owe all these, I rented a house in the Hampshire in August for 10 days up in the White Mountains. The guy I was just for you,

would you get through the rest of the family? He's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, someone's in ketosis. I, what's that? That's a training band. That's what he went into the training. That's what he wets the gizz of his cheek with. Yeah, use this one, though. It's way better. Oh boy. What the fuck? No one wants to take a fucking heck of cheer from you, you queen. Hiya. So anyways, deep discount stop.

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this is the actual page I went to. Their Comic Con sale, you can get, I love sci-fi. I'm a big sci-fi guy. I love all the new Star Trek's. The last one, but the first two are, I loved. Rathakon, it wasn't called that, of course. Jamaican guy. Who's not Jamaican? He's not Jamaican. No, he's actually Kumbapatch was, he's English, right? He's one of you, one of you T-Sippers.

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And DVD, Blu-ray and 4K. What is 4K? Is that for the 4K team? No, $4,000 movie. That's what you pay for your fucking kilos, your fucking reekin. I'm talking about, I was just a resolution. It's too much. Resolution, like a higher resolution. Yeah, but they make 4k DVDs now.

Yeah. Wow. That's great. That's too cool. Uh, you HD too. It's too much. Really great price at deepdiscount.com or click the logo on my page at homepage at ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly. Of course, you'll also find a bunch of my material there too on deep discount. Of

course, it's deep, it's very deeply discounted my material. It's actually cheaper. I think it's 99 cents. No, I don't have no idea. I don't buy my own shit. I have no idea. It's up there though. By your shit. That's what you should be talking to do. That's the way you really support, double support. See, that's why, Bluice, I don't care what you say about him personally. He's a salesman. Oh, he's a salesman.

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You're right. Lou, you produced my shell for me. I would just you literally within a week, you would call them up and you guys are fucking dead to me. Done. I changed this whole fucking thing around dog. Yes, digital baby. You got to do you want to come on gas digital?

Huh? That's what we should do. We should get you to bring Ryan Cass under the gas digital umbrella. Oh boy. Oh, Pete will bring you man as a 2% partner Too I Know that's a never spot cast 2% Support you to bond just be good to yourself buy it own it watch it when you want check it out now. Thank you deep discount

Ralph actually talked to me. I'm getting back to you, Tranny, don't even think about it. Ralph talked to me, he wants to do, I get to text him back. What are you, the Battle of the Network Stars, Riot Cast, The Kumi Network, and Gastegito. He wants to do like,

Chantley Challenges like a new category. We should listen to it. And we'll release it as a podcast. I'm like you'd ever do. We should do it at the park. We should do it at Central Park. We should seriously. We should do it at Central Park. We should do it at the park. We should seriously, we should do it at Central Park.

We have a bunch of little fucking stupid things that we do. A field day. Like outside, three-legged race. We do a three-legged race. We'll do some things that everyone has their dicks out. Well, wow, why don't want to get arrested. We should come up with, we should have the fans come up with shit that we have to do and we do it.

And the winner gets a trophy. I think we should start it every year. This is the type of shit we're just talking about. Yes. But instead of trying to make it, instead of trying to be famous, instead of trying to be familiar with each other, we forget sometimes to just go and have fun with each other. We're the funnest people on the planet.

And we never fucking hang with each other and have fun. That's why I love skank fast. Yeah. I couldn't leave. Wet t-shirt kind of cold. Even though you paid other people way more money than you paid me. People have paid. Oh my God, what are you, fucking OP? Right, right. Jesus Christ, get out of here. He paid me. Oh my god. What are you fucking opi? Right? Jesus Christ. He paid me so. He

paid me so little I gave it back. I literally gave it back. Wow. If you look at how much more famous Jim Gaffigan is compared to Bobby and you look at what I paid Bobby compared to Jim Gaffigan. You were way overpaid. Like a stable. So I didn't get paid. I gave it back. You gave it back? Well, we didn't take it. We give it back because I support Rebecca and anything she did. I was talking to you guys.

I don't. I should take the money. Well, if it was worth taking, I would have taken it. No, I'm saying I got Bobby's. I was just joking about that. By the way, we got a train of tacos. I had a fun time. I was a fucking Brace I didn't want to fucking leave massages Massages, but here's the thing is you hanging out with comics you'd never hang out with right

You don't I mean Tony Clifton was there Hingecliff What is it? Tony Hingecliff who I think is fucking is one of, what is it? What is it? Hinchcliff. Tony Hinchcliff, who I think is fucking, he's one of the best. He's a fucking great guy, very funny. Red bin was there, there was a lot of West Coast guys

that I don't have a Burke showed up. Yes. A bird shit on my head. Is that right? A bird shit on your head. No, a bird. A bird was there though. I had Burke clean it off. He was laughing

He goes it's black and he's he's such a funny guy. It was a great time. Oh, your burn bosses hat It's the funny part about that is that he goes it's a hundred all so we raised a hundred alls and they goes I want the tax So anyways you I want to get back to you speaking of good times you Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Tell us about it. I don't know. Listen, let me add, stop, stop. Okay, where did you get, why, you don't give, how long you've been banging trainees? How long have you liked Shakespeare's text? Yes. How long?

Shakespeare's text. Kidney's. Since I was a, since I was a, we lad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was the first one you went with? Do you remember? Well,

yep. Of course you do. No one ever forgets the first. There was this place at, uh, Lucky Changs. Oh, I remember Lucky Changs.

Yep. Yep. Over these village. Yeah, we used to call it train and karaoke. Yeah, because they, it was like the only place that Skins you lose and lucky chance.

Yep. Yeah, not that I banged tranny. So I went. Let me tell you so many people are with trans women and they just won't admit it. And then they do this like mental gymnastic to like get away from it. But the first trans woman I was with,

it was a lucky chance. I walked in and I was with all my friends. I was drinking at the time and she just tattooed with my name on it. This chick just, you know, six foot four black woman, boom, my type. Really? So you like black chicks?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black chicks. I love black chicks. But you like black and black trans women. Oh, she go men too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute, you're bisexual.

Oh, yeah. You'll fuck dudes. Yeah minute you're bisexual. Yeah, you'll fuck dudes Yeah, oh, yeah, you're just you're just damaged. Why is he damaged? That sounds not I think the people that are like that will fuck anything There's like a little fucking thing in your brain that's fucking like I'm damaged You just flipped out cuz you have an edge sugar you piece of shit Yeah, I'm also damaged that is not I don't I don't think or problems damage yeah your damage I don't know why you damage though Do you just I mean he will put us dick in anything that's a damage but you know what you want no He doesn't he wants everything that's variety. I think you're damaged when you hide it

I think you damage when you hide it I think when you don't hide it and you don't care and you're like fuck Yeah, I bang dudes I like trans I like women. I think that's don't hide it and you don't care and you like fuck yeah, I bang dudes I like trans I like women. I think that's being so if you're a pedophile, but you're out with it. Yeah Yeah, yes, I think if pedophiles would just come out of the fucking shadows Yeah, let us know call in Yeah, if you're a pedophile, please call 911 7-2-6-1 6-8-3-1 two six one six eight three one That's right man. What happened? Why you but you're staring at where you're mance and lamps you just like

You know loves tranny's Dave Smith. Oh That's why you got the kidney stone. Yeah, she got fucking trans dick juice in her So you like dudes too. What is it? If you had a choice, if God made you choose which he he did, and you're going, I have made a choice. So if you could be, you only choose one for the rest of your life. You get a pussy, you get a butt or you get a dick and a butt. What do you got? What do you got? What do you choose? You get to one time. What feels better? But stop with the questions. Let him answer one question. What does he feel best all after that? Here's the thing.

I don't think so. Emotionally, I relate more to women. I love being with women. I love like, you know, controlling, holding a woman. I love the delicacies of a woman. But sometimes, you know, like when your woman picks you up over the threshold. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Wait a minute you never had two dicks in your ass. No, never. What? Not an animal. Dictosis.

I've had a dick in a while. Dictosis. No. Dictosis. I'm in Dictosis. You put dick in my drink. Low is a fucking idiot. That's the fucking difference that I've ever heard.

You've taken it in the butt. I mean, it's not like years, but you know. but how been a dick you put a black penis in there? Hey, dude, don't back don't don't back down. I'm like fucking honing it. All right. Yeah. All right, so listen So you you now the trans the transgendered girl that you bang So you only go a black one so you've been with Asian, Filipino, Spanish. I've been, well, this, this, this escort that I got, she was a spanic, but usually I just, you know, I love black women. But you fuck them because,

yeah, girls like to be fucked. Right. Well, they don't want to fuck. Well, because a lot of them are on hormones. Yeah. And so that decreases their sex. Right. Because I was talking to Bailey J about this.

Right. And if the guy is young or hot or and shape, she wants to get fucked. She wants to be a woman. But if the guy is, you know, kind of gross or whatever, she'll just fuck up. Yeah, she'll fucking me. Just a, but so one was the last time you hit with a guy. That's my puke alarm. You've been with the trans woman. No, I haven't. Uncle Larm. Uh. Uh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha when you suck my dick on that video buddy you sucked my dick better than most chicks of some whoa real pro i mean pro fashion people that it was a deal though i i feel like there has been

any clarification why you so it's even mark it was this deal though right up here just a lot of it of course i do uh... yeah we it we it's called the luis it's what i would think luis is dick would look like yeah so here's a deal, right? Um, covered in shit. Also, I thought about it. I, I, I think if one for the rest of my life, I lean towards women, but, uh, have you ever had a load to the face?

A whole lot. A whole lot. Never had a load in the face. No, no, no. Yeah, that's fucking. A lighting on. Yeah. What we talk about.

Yeah, I don't like calm. I think comes close. All right. So you're by. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, guys.'t like calm. I think comes close. All right. So you're by. I don't yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry guys. Yeah. Would you suck locks? Yeah. And the pre-com doesn't bother you. You mean the whipped cream? Why would you not get whipped cream on your waffle? That's like making sense. That's like getting a Sunday with nothing. Listen, this is what I think Lewis is pretty stupid. Oh, yeah, nothing listen this is what I think Lewis is I think the nuts are very action whether but I put the walnuts I put that on and he man. Let me tell you a little

God damn it Lewis you went you would you would add it hook look this is what I heard And then he pushed it down and then he fucking reached in the middle. So you've sucked penis still. Smells like no sugar. Yeah, you have to. If you're with a tranny, right? Yeah. Yeah, I want to be kind to. I'm going to be a jerk. Let's sit down so I don't get pushed off of it.

I just like making people feel good. Oh yeah, so wait a minute. What's up? I, by sexuality, always kind of like fucks with me. Like I almost feel like it's not even like an attraction to like the people. I feel like it's an overactive libido. Are you like always horny? Well, sometimes I'm I'm on I you know like meds and that fucks with my sex drive Whatever meds are you on I'm like depression anxiety and like Manic depressive medicine. Do you think you say you're not fucked in the head? Are you right?

and like manic, depressive, medicine. Do you think you said you're not fucked in the head? Are you right? No, I fully admit, yeah, I gotta fucked up brain. But I think what I'm saying is, is that I think that you're, it's all, to me. When someone just like, I don't care, I fucking go with dudes, I go with chicks, you're not in the shadows, you're not hiding from us.

No, I want it. You're not pretending to be something. Right. And then hanging out with us and guy, what a fag he is. Where is he? Why don't you come out as a freak of nature man I'll tell you dude I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there

I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there I was in there Do you think you have to do this because of the way you look what be with other people? Yeah, just suck decks Well, I look like this give me a guy. Were you molested or anything? Not that I know of If you so you didn't answer the question would it be a girl you'd be with you'd be yeah, so be a girl So when you have you ever go with a guy and felt shitty after like I don't like this dude I

meet from like 12 until 24 me and this guy from my hometown had this thing wherever he couple months. We would blow each other Wow, and it was so shame filled and Guilt ridden. Yeah, don't look at me I want to hear what you mean you're so you need to look at each other when you suck dick. No, it was there We didn't even like kiss well if you were very in space you start cracking up, and that would be very good You're looks like a clown without the makeup. I give you took away all the color Like when I'm sucking the Benny Hill theme song place

If I had somebody on the computer I could have pulled that up right now. Gaston's in a baby book. Take over. There you go. Because you're just yelling, Shannon. And she's done. I can't yell at her. She has kidney problems. She's got great lips. Yeah, she's terrible.

We're getting into any interns. Not terrible. I can't actually. I have kidney. No, you're not terrible. You're not terrible. I don't mean you're terrible. I mean, you're in into it. We need any interns. We have terrible. I'm terrible. You're not terrible. You're not terrible I don't mean you're terrible. I mean you're in terrible shape. Yeah, right now Yeah, like you're stomach. Yeah, so you get a little cocky too over there, okay? So settle down Yeah, something Sub rubbing your vagina as well

It's making me uncomfortable back to second it listen So you would that but that is so fucking crazy. Now did he have a girlfriend? I mean, dude, we both know. You know his family. And my friends, dude, he's married now. He just had a kid. He's very good. So God will never tell a soul.

Right. He'd be the kid came out with one again. Look how that happened. He would be lucky for it, Lewis. So, so he's got, can I say something though? He's got to still be, he's got to still be doing it. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. You can't just like, Richard Pryor said, you get addicted to suckin' dick. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Once you suck a dick, and you do it, you're into it. I'm sober, but the thing I miss the most about like drinking is like the craziness of it all on like I don't know if I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. I don't know where I'm gonna end up. So I kind of like that like tricks and treats of the night I'm like smoking like I'm stuck dick when I drink. Yeah, yeah, that's how it was man

I used to black out and wake up in some dudes bed and I'm like you're not a fact fucking trick again Make it not happen like it was a lot of self- self hatred man. We should talk to Tim Dylan fucking crazy Yeah, yeah, but yeah, he and I haven't talked about it. Yeah, but Tim is Tim is just he just likes guys He'll let a guy blow him. Yeah, but I'm not saying he's not What are you doing? He's not he's not he's not trying to get ahead with talking about how he wants a titty shale black not fucking blob fucking Giant fat Republican Fuck the whole man. I'm eating clams while you suck my balls act like a firefighter I just ordered fried calamari from the best calamari place in the world

It looked my just does my sperm taste like clam sauce? Why did I get in the cellar? Jesus Christ. Did Tim tell you the story of that? That's fucking great. This is story? Yeah, like afterwards, what, what Dasty said to him? Yeah, I should just go, you're very loud.

Oh, shit, that stings. She's not wrong. It's fine with Tim. Tim's fucking really quick. Tim's giving a monster. Tim's giving a star. He's got the other one. Maybe he's got the other one.

Maybe he's got the other one. Maybe he's a monster. Maybe he's a monster. Yeah, he's got heart disease diabetes. Yeah, maybe he's dying young. Herpes, yeah. He's got a fucking definitely have a rough life. Yeah, he's got a lot to worry about.

Yeah, he's going to lose a foot. life. Yeah, he's gonna lose a foot. Tim looks like fucking, let's name Chris Farley in these last days. Yeah, before he gets a shit. I hope he doesn't do, Tim doesn't do drugs though. No, no, no, no. We don't have him for like three more months. Yeah, right.

So you did feel like shit about that. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, so much guilt, shame. Have you ever been caught? Like, has a family or friends that have like caught you doing some gay shit? And you're like fuck dude. No, but one time this this guy dude. I used to be a carpenter and I picked up this guy at lows What what aisle? He was working the register I went back about a wrench just to talk to him again

Oh, man, yeah, not high listen because I don't know how would you pick up on? Just to eat and fucking play with the power drill. Yeah. Yeah. You've heard another but a tool mill. Yeah. Sir, leave the slows. How did you pick up on it?

How did you know this guy? You can just tell man. It's like eye contact. I run a clip. That was also his low. God go. No, no, don't talk to that one. Don't eat blue guy.

Loads for that fucking bandana? Not touch that trangana. So I came back, I asked what he's doing that night. You know, whatever he's like, I'm getting working overtime. It wasn't a hallalogue part. Yo, man. Wait, is that what you're making? Where's your black?

He was a black. He got to eat my beef patty. He was a black. Yeah. Oh shit Yeah, I feel like all blacks you can't tell their gay unless they're like way out. Let me tell you guys brothers love me Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you have the personality of a fat white chick Hey

So wait a minute you you get this guy at fucking how'd you know you get it shut up? We let me fucking finish my question. I already asked the question I'm asking a new question you keep fucking yapping over. I know you have nine podcasts We all involved in this I know I know exactly one-one fucking interview with this fucking fru-cake Shut the fuck up. You just yeah you and fucking Dave never shut the fuck up Listen, god one-on- one fatty in the fruitcake guy Have some coffee get it the Welcome back to fatty in the fruit

Listen I just want to know one thing why I just want to know one thing. Why I just want to know one thing What do you want to know? I want to know what time is lunch She said dinner. I Listen, so you get this guy and you go back and meet him. Do you guys fuck at lows? No, you go somewhere else Yeah, here you go. Can I just where do you fuck? I took them? We remember where you are I say something to you? Yes, God. This is, can we just tag team the interview because what I wanna ask?

We can tag team, just while I'm asking questions. Just wait till I'm done. Chronologically though, you're kind of, I'm saying, I wanna know how he knew he was gay. Can we just be in the middle? I asked that already. Your ass is like,

but I asked that already. I asked that already. And he went off on another tangent and then I tried to come back to it and you jumped on my question. So we'll do tandem. We'll do tandem. This why you're the fatty. We'll do tandem. And I'm behind the scenes. We'll do tandem. I'm just producing. Listen, ketosis. I agree. How did you know? Tell us how you knew he was a fucking queen. I mean, I looked at him. And you

can tell are in this room who's gay? What's up? No, I'm kidding. Andrew! No, he's English. All English people look gay. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. You can do that anyway.

This is fucking rattling. Probably Norman is the pants. I'll take it. No. No one, man. All right, in this room. In this room. In this room. Oh! I this room in this room Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop You suck you get too good dude. It's weird look look look look look

Who is there wants to be good? Oh my god, I'm so hard. Blue wants is this is too small Very vainie that size queen I mean my dick so my dick's thicker than this. It's about the right rank Take it off there, please take it on the seat I'm not leaving. Oh, it's all wet Lewis you suck get good man, and that's a compliment What happens? What do you think you wonder when he's not when he's ketosis and he is of the shit

Fuck to my libido when I'm a ketosis buddy, so so you knew he was gay I could tell yeah He was just kind of like Question was gay or we like down the closet like down low you like this guy. I know he was a gay Yeah, yeah, so I went back to work. Well, he like yeah What's up? Like silly. Yeah, the end of a hammer in his throat. You're like, I think he's gay.

He had a little bit of a lisp. Yeah. Well, so he was hot. He was like a black dancer type. But I asked him, I was like, ah, he's like, I work at Loes and I'm a model. I was like, where do you model? He goes, my space.

I was like, aren't there enough? And this is a long time ago. Was he dressed like he was in the Lion King with Broadway musical? That's what I imagined. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you go back and meet him and you go where? So I picked him up in his place and we just drove around.

And Lewis, please. And I picked him up and I took him to this, like by this water place where there's like a, you could just drive kind of like by the woods, you know, this ravine. The woods. And is that what you murdered him? It was. It's the fucking story of Jeffrey Dahmer. Where there's like a you could just drive kind of like by the woods, you know this ravine Fucking store of Jeffrey Dahmer Fucking wild and then that night we were dinner and then afterwards I was living with my mom at the time So I can't take one of my mom's house nobody knows you know because he was black because he's a

dude both and so I uh yeah we're we're on the side of the road and you know banging them on the side on this like side this uh off road all these people came up no no that's my animal yeah and uh so these people came up we just had to you know finish and then leave pretend you were wrestling yeah he's stealing my wallet I'm getting a fight chokehold just rip your shirt he's robbing me my bike my bike so yeah that was that was a delivery thank you very much this is the head of the black man that he blew I took care of what's in the box. Oh, it's in the box. The big butt tick.

That's my fucking camp. Oh, fun. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much, Sam. Do you buy the same cameras as us? That's a nice camera. This is an old camera used to use. I bought this for the pussycat.

Remember that when we did the podcast there live with Kelly Fistuka? I bought that so we could broadcast that over the internet. Those are really good. They're like digital zoom right with a remote and everything. Yeah, they're real good. Back to the the fucking the black guy. Yeah, so, so you fucking them.

Now wait a minute. Did he just eat your ass on the on your hood? Or did he suck it? And it blew me a yeah. Did you suck his dick? It was wild. No, I, I, we were, I'm very afraid of disease. I'm very like germophobic. Like one time I had this dude in a, I'm very afraid of disease. I'm very like a germophobic.

Like one time I had this dude in a motel room on 34th Street. Yeah. And I was looking in his ass with my flashlight on my phone to see if he had like anything. Oh, God. It's a very big turn. That would turn me off. Yeah, I know.

Well, I have that conversation with him in my back. I know, I know, man. I know, I know, I know. I know. I have that combo with people before I'm with them. I'm like, look, are you clean? I was the last time you're tested. And it's an important combo to have,

but it's very off-putting. Yeah. And they get insulted. They're like, you think I'm dirty? And I'm like, I'm just trying to be safe. I met you at a lows in a parking lot. Yeah, right. You said you're a dancer, but you're working at lows.

On my face. Yes. And you're a model on my face. You just think my ass out on a hood of a Toyota. Thank you. I think you're a fucking, thank you. But I think Lewis is right, though, to have a conversation is one thing.

To pull out a micro lens and zoom in on somebody's asshole on your iPhone is a little off-putting. I kind of feel like you're like a private eye at that point. Yeah, with a magnifying face. Yeah, like looking for something. Did you steal the ring? Inspector Fagget. What?

Fagget? Oh, go-go black man's hair. Fagget jizz. Nope. No, still not it. That's not there, Lou. Go-go gadget Fagget. No, still not there.

It's not. Go-go Fagget go. Nope. Not there. Still not there. Next time, Fagget. Next time. There we go. Theregot go no not there still not there next time There we go It's got the fact it would have worked just inspector faggot. Yeah, you expect a fact that you go

back to the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the She dead, she dies, she moving. Okay, she's cleaving. She does have her vagina in the air. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just and she's like, oh, that's that makes girls wet right when they see a guy the guy that's guy That's good. That's good with the baby. I'm sorry Sutra I do really good. I know you do we know you do

You're fucking idiot Oh, you're fucking idiot. Dude, Inspector Faggot is my favorite thing in the world. It's gonna be the character title of this episode. Can we name your kid Inspector Faggot? No, this title is... I'm in the Towsus! Yeah, it's not fair. All capitals, 19 automation points.

Let's lose his drag queen name. Towsus, uh, Towsus. I'll just... Smartcass. Oh my God, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. The last two times you've been on the show He's fucking snapped Best time ever he every time he's on the show. He's gonna beat everybody somebody's getting an ass whooping

I he's like stone cold Steve Austin. Oh someone's getting an ass whooping what and it turned all suck everyone's dick I've layers Well pretty rican onion I'm a girl's dick. I have layers. Yeah. Well, put a recon onion. This is a char of a dobo. That's a bonzo beans. I do. And now does your mother know? Yeah, my mom knows.

So everybody knows. What? Everybody knows now, man. What? When did you come out? Not, I mean, it is coming out. Yeah mean, it is. It is. It dude. It was like so nerve-wracking. I'd been in a therapy and like talking about it because I was like, there was so much self-hatred. It was fucking bullshit. It's so

funny, dude. I was in this burger joint on like first, having an 11 times with my shirt. I was in a hot dog joint. Hey, sorry. Sorry. It's just. I don't know. I'm more upset that it was a bad joke. It was terrible joke. I was expecting Louis to throw that at me. Well, like, dude, I couldn't even say what I was. I was like so full of hatred and everything for myself. And so I'm talking to a friend. We're at this burger joint. You know that burger joint. It's real small. It's got the clown in the corner. What is it called or where is it at oh Bobby? Where maybe Pete's I don't even fuck what aemrys says Norman is one of the fastest cocktackers in the world. Wow. He's the fastest cock

I couldn't even I couldn't even get it out so finally like, listen man, like I think I'm a bad comedian. I think you mother fucker. I'm like, I think I'm kind of gay and immediately kind of, well, I didn't know if I was like, get the therapist go. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. So immediately the clown goes, like right when I said it,

I was wanting his fucking thing in the world. That's hilarious. And this is your best friend you were telling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And did he take a dick up like this or something? He's like, prove it. Yeah. Now, now, when people find out have you had any,

anybody be off put by it, did anybody give you shit about and besides you, Lewis, Lewis is the only one out with freaking mother fuck right there. I know, I know. You're way more interesting now. You should know that. Lewis Lewis is the only one I'm serious free You're way more interesting now. You should know I feel like I'm very progressive for sitting next to him But it was like a secret I kept my whole life. I feel so much better now that I'm like you must My relationship with my mom is like skyrocketed because you always knew something was wrong Well, she always wanted a daughter Because you always knew something was wrong. Well, she always wanted a daughter. She

Lose is on fire last that minute. She been whipping them out. Oh, Miss Lovia comes out. Louis really finds again. I'm sorry for calling you Gina. It's gonna be I'm from the bottom of my literally the worst thing anybody's ever called. I'm so far. Sorry Louis, let me blow you Would you would you blow? Oh? Oh, sorry. That's a funny thing man. What I can I can tell with a dude, chick, whatever it is. If I want to eat a truck, my cock. No doubt about it. In with suck. My cock. If not just for

the story, because then he has this thing was like, dude, I sucked Lewis's cock. I'm hilarious is that in. And if we were alone after the real ass podcast one day in the National Studios, everyone's got my And dude just like my god funny with that big. He's favorite and see if Lewis is hard right now Army cargo shorts are popping up the best part of the BJ's your little bag of sand would hit my nuts

Whatever those spices are that Jesus what No, when he when he fucks girls, he has the mother marry. When he's suck at taking his hands around. The devil. The devil. Diablo. Diablo. Diablo.

You're nuts, a lot of them. How do you like blowing guys? It's all right. You know, sometimes I'm in. Deer and topper. Yeah. You're not a bottom. No.

Clear. Right, yeah. One time I had this tranny, a trans woman. Oh, well, you're fucking I'm here. Fine. You should be allowed to say it's funny. I have trans women that are friends and they'll say

tranny and like, oh, that shit. And then the post. I'm not about or the ones have never met a trans person. Well, the trans community gets upset at them. Right. For using slang in about themselves. Right.

Like Bailey J. You get a lot of shit from the trans community because she would say fucked up shit on her podcast. But now, but well, I don't know. I mean, it's not like it's a different word. Like I understand Faggot and Nigger and all these words being like really, you know, vicious or whatever they were used. But you're literally adding a letter to it or just changing letter because it goes from, you know, an S to a Y. I don't understand why nobody's

ever used the term, tranny, as like disparaging like you're a tranny, you're gross. Yeah, they have because they're using trans the same way though. I'm saying they would call you a faggot. That's the word that's like the trigger word, but it wasn't like tranny has this, you know, loaded heavy word. Yeah, it is. I don't think so. I think that was what was being used to describe themselves within the community, people that were fucking, and people that were looking at porn that enjoyed it. Why do you say it is?

And then, but I'm saying, I'm a dude who grew up heterosexual in kind of a time when you're sure. Well, listen, I go for the time, in the 80s and 90s, where we were, we were very willing to call somebody a faggot. I used to take behind a mall. Yeah. I knew the ride home. You know what invented yet my dad's dad help me my mom just I can't get out of pal's eights parkway I have to get to the ship. Yeah, West Nyx a great mall

Well, we were kids we weren't caught. We were gonna fucking trannies Like there's nothing like it was a child just the term just the term you would. You also worn around trans people and you never know. You know, I was, I mean, just just as much as you were, I'm sure. No, you're not. It's not as much as growing up. I mean, he was sucking. He was with him. He was into them not until I moved to New York. Yeah, I mean, I grew up in Delaware. He's been sucking dick for three years. I grew up in the suburbs. You'd see one like fucking, I know, picking their garbage once in a while I don't want to be that

I look at what was that you didn't go hey Trinny get out of here like it was like you would just describe it as a Train one night out in front of the lab house this dude was like There was only called it was the lab house because there was a bunch of trainees outside of it I got it stop throwing your comrade at me. It's a hanky. Yeah, but we don't want your hanky. You clean guys assholes with assholes. No, no, I use my men.

Let me get the white stuff off your asshole. Don't touch my camera. I just had it worst. Listen, this is my test. I wiped this bandana on you junk. If it comes up, if it, and I have this praying mantis in a jaw,

when I put this in, if the mantis dies, I don't eat your ass. It's called the canary mantle, mantis test. Listen, so, I think what you're saying though,

it is up to the trans community to come up with the names They don't like to be called and I think it's community. I think it's a person. I think we want community mentality You are well, there's a trans community that of course they're in what is appropriate what isn't right? Words they approve and what they don't what also like black people get to the side what they want to be called Right, but they don't have a meeting. They don't what also like black people get to decide what they want to be called right But they don't have a meeting they don't all meet up Yeah, go to the fucking improvs any improv down in Florida Those are thinking the laugh house one night I was outside and this guy's like yo, what's up, man? And she walk by goes yo, it's a tranny and she goes suck the tip of my dick

Faggot and she knocked his cell phone out of his Funniest fucking thing ever? Tranches are tough, man. They're so tough. Yeah, cuz it's a guy. They got in their ass kicked their whole life. At that point though, if you beat the shit out of our training, is it? I mean, does it, does it, does it, she kind of deserve it?

I don't know if you knock a cell phone out of somebody's head. I don't think hitting anybody for doing, I don't know. You knock my cell phone out of my head. You're a dude, chick, Tranie, I'm gonna punch you in the face. That warrants it. Why if you knock my cell phone out of my hand Are you fucking crazy Bobby? You're the same thing. So I'm like what if you had a picture of my kid in a weird outfit on your phone And I knocked it out Listen I got it we all we all know that I got it.

We don't need to just pass it on that one. You know why it becomes like a hate crime. Like if you get into a fight with that trainee, it just becomes like, right, right. Even if you say, hey, Faggot or hate training, right? It depends on what she's wearing. If she has jeans on and a fucking, and a joint dress on.

Then you can beat the shit out of you. It escalates to the point where it like, like, is that a, it's not a hate crime in itself if somebody's walking down the street and the joy and the sun dress on this. Then you can beat the shit out of you. But then it escalates to the point where it like, like, is that a, it's not a hate crime in itself if somebody's walking on the street and you say, hey, it's a tranny. That's not a hate crime. That's just, you being a dick, right? Yeah.

Then she crossed the line and she commits a crime and smacked the cell phone at your hand. Then you beat the shit out of that tranny and you get arrested for a hate crime, but that's not really a hate crime. You're beating the shit out of somebody who smacked the phone out of your hand. Right, but do you really need to beat the shit out of them for smacking the phone?

Yeah, somebody smacks the phone out of my hand. Oh, why anybody in the world would hit them? That's private. No, I wouldn't if someone's back would someone smack my phone on my hand. I'm gonna hit him What the fuck are you doing? Why would you do that some random person smacks the phone? I'd be like what the fuck are you doing? What are you stupid and they go? Yeah, you fucking fat I'm a lugo whale fuck you suck my dick your podcast thinks gas is or should produce it. Can you not be you? Cock suck and gino bascante Buddy, I'm fuck Conscious I'm fuck dude I'm in Catocious I'm

Catoing the Juno Biscans is get to decide who get to use that work We're gonna wrap this up all right listen um Thanks coming on the show. Yeah, I've known you for a little bit now. Thanks for coming on that guy Good off you phone stupid love to come on a back. Did you get your baby seat? You're not doing it. I guarantee it's not a baby seat. I was gonna ask fuck you.

I guarantee it's gonna do it in my baby seat. I guarantee you not fucking baby seat. It's not about a baby seat. What? You're lying to me. You want that? Swearing your kid's soul. I swear my kid's soul.

Read it. Read it. That's just me and my son's mother arguing. But that's put the, argue on another show. About the baby seat. Fuck it. Talk about later. Wait a minute. Lewis arguing with somebody. Oh my god You've never argued with anybody You and be getting along Shit oh boy. Is she moving? This is more real than the training huh? Where would she move? I don't know somewhere

No away from you. No, would you have let it move out of the city? No. No, I mean, I have to, I literally, I pay probably $400 more a month than rent than I should be paying because I want to live a block for my son. So, yeah, no. Let me ask you this, if your son was by, would that bug you? No, it wouldn't bug me at all. Your son was trans.

Oh, that's tough. I drowned him in a bucket. Ha ha ha. What a, Jesus Christ. You know, you never going to be on TV again when you can just say shit like that and not even go on kidding at the end. What the go-go gadget baggage? It's on. It's no baggy go-go.

I love the fact that he has all gay gadgets that come out of his fucking body. So extra hands of jerk off dudes. There's a big brunch table that come out. Go, go, gadget, lard. Yes. You can listen. Shades lounge comes out. Go, go.

So I'm glad to have you on, dude. Please come back on again. Love to. And you know, what do you play? What comedy clothes do you play? Your comedy club, source of object. Uh, yeah, oh, why tonight is on the roast battle? Oh, no, no, no, he's kidding. He's bad on the judge. Norman's judging tonight. Bob, you want to judge?

Oh, what time? Sam Roberts is going to be judging 1030. I might come. I might. I got to do. I got to do, um, I got to do Norton's podcast tonight. He just asked me and I gotta do I gotta do interview with him right after this We're right now. It's Norton's podcast. It's at 830 and then I gotta do I gotta do Ari's podcast to Tonight. Yes. That's a good one. That's what it got. You're loaded. We're promoting the nasty show because me and Ari Ari's hosting I gotta be honest. When you first meet Ari, Ari's like a tough fellow swallow because he seems like he's almost a dick, but he's not. I like them sweetest guy in the world.

I've liked him from day one. I like him from day one. I was just, that was testing you guys. He's fucking, he really is. He's one of my favorite people in the world. You'd be hard-pressed upon anyone that disagrees. Yeah. I really, what's the best tip of one arm?

I know. I know those people that don't like Ari. The people that don't get him, because he's don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I shoulder in the process. I mean, it was last week's years ago when surfing on Rockaway Beach. I named it. And it was crazy. It was crazy, dude, that like a wave came down and spun my board like a clock and it just jerked my arm out. And it was like crazy waves.

And I literally got pulled under water, dude, and I had one arm and I was going to die. I was very close. I know, yeah, I, and as I'm trying to swim, my arm kept on popping. It was in pain. And then eventually the waves just kind of popped it back in place. Yeah, so if it didn't pop it back in place That was it I could not swim with one arm. What is this a metaphor for I was saying that I I'm not quick. I don't Yeah, good talk. Good talk. I'm not very small for funny. So Good great lips though, Fag.

Go way I could go. Bed up where you're going to be tonight. It's a fucking inside the dude. Besides the lows. I'll be the lowest parking lot on a 42nd. I mean, it's stingy Lulu's and lows. I'll be at Woody's. Did he tell you his idea for his podcast, which is great, which is good to probably on gas digital cuz I'm trying to steal it you fucking

Shies that you want to be on right cast Well, let's hear the other guy cast. We'll see. Yeah, all right I get escorts trans escorts and we sleep together and then I interview them and have them tell their story It sounds like great. That sounds exactly what guys and have them tell their story. Whoa! It sounds like great. It sounds exactly what guys would thought. It's actually a lot.

Exactly who guessed it? Strangers things. There you go. That sounds like a good show. You should definitely pick do that. That'd be a great show. I like it. You have gigs?

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be at a square flash theater this Saturday. That's great. On the 15th, yep. What's your, what's your, what's your. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be at a kind of square flash theater this Saturday. That's great on the 15th Yep, what's your what you're looking for? What's your? Revolving it you piece of shit. Oh Fucking asshole turn I'm one of the biggest fans. I support him probably more than anybody's in New York He does he's a very very good guy believes in me. Thank you. Lewis. I appreciate that send me a tape I believe in me. Thank you. Louis. I appreciate that send me a tape All right, man. Well, thanks coming on. Yeah, what's your Twitter? Bobby. I really appreciate

Is my name Ian finance Instagrams at the animal All right, do you see perspective? Fact it's not taking and then take that. Oh, you can't do expect to do listen to don't listen to dude You want to be third? You do you want to be scared? Yeah, I got a lot of things ahead of me Lewis Yeah, yeah, he's he's a podcast fucking mobile. Let him let him go. What do you got buddy? Gomez comedy com. Yes comedy on Instagram. I just started using my story So if you fucking what is this? Oh on Instagram? I don't know if they're in there. Yeah, they're bad. Yeah, I'm fucking great. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Now I get it You can you tell me can you tell me I'll show you after we get off No, but you you want to see my story? No, I don't want to see it. I want you to tell me why the story is you didn't get it

I've had 15 seconds long. I have a program that I edit these 15 second videos together I had sound and stuff. It's really fun people when they're bored They just look at the stories and plays through in 24 hours and Lewis please can you pick up the band down here put it over your head Mouth chock it over and catch it for first. It was so dry the English guy liked it My life is really fun man to make these little videos and I want to see what it is after. Okay, so what else you got?

So, yeah, check that out. I've been fucking on Instagram and check it on my other podcast. Castage will now work on like a three podcasts that I host every single week. Ninja Stanks, Real Ass podcast and believe you me with UFC champion. What happened to the fucking hammer fisting? I gave it away to who?

Chris Tinkle and Ricky Bones host Hammer Fisting now. Really? Yeah. What happened Michael Bizzving? What's going on with him? Uh, I will say. Is he still on the show on the network?

Oh, he's still on the network. The radio show is, we'll see what happens with the radio show. Keto's not happening. So, I'll tell you one more off the air. Oh boy, scoop. Um, podcast is thriving though. Yeah. What's up with the, what's up with the John Jones and is that is just going down oh yeah, the 29th. That's just happened. I'm Now I we didn't even get to McGregor Mayweather. Oh, I got money on my

Maybe we'll do like a what why we shut up let me see you cut me off. I'm in the middle I said why don't we and then you just jump over me This is not fucking Conversation this is you just I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Why don't you do the radio show? Why don't why don't we do a one-on-one I'm doing these one-on-ones I would love to do a one-on-one what you about MMA and we can talk about them a Gregor thing But it also like to talk to you about, you know, what, you know, what the fact that you were going to, you're going to try to fart.

I did. I heard it. I want to try, you were going to go to LA a few years ago and you didn't, and now what's happening, and if you regret it, if you love it, it's still one on one. Let's do it. All right, I'll talk to you. Okay Okay. I want you to come on Thursday. I'm doing a special preview by myself without where and it's serious exam for the Mayweather McGregor because they don't quest for the seven. So I'm doing a preliminary just a radio show. I might I might do. I might do. I might. I might. I might. I might. I'm not a kid. I'm 50 50 right now. Thursday 6 p.m. Eastern Standard time. Louis J. Gomez. The fucking dude. Yeah, I'll digital right now him and your partner, who's, uh, I love. Um, Rob satin. Oh, Rob satin. Rob satin. I don't want my brain just for off. Guest, I was officially a partner in Skankfest next year. We just started playing each city tour. We locked down. There's two other cities already locked down. We're locking out Eats in the World.

For what? It's Gangfest Tour. Eight weekends. Eight weekends straight. We're bringing that party to eight different markets. Three times as big in every city. Good, good, good. Yeah, gas, digital, and Ralph, you guys are doing great.

And Dave Smith's special. We're really good tonight. I actually saw it. Yeah. And I'm going to tie it. Shut up. What else are you going to say? He is dicksing you and gave you stones. Why, and I'm gonna tell you a shut up. It is. What are you gonna say?

He is dicks in you and gave you stones. What else are you gonna say? You can get me stones now. What else are you gonna say? Libertas is very, very good. What else are you gonna say? Bobby fucking say it because doesn't mean anything from you. You have to say it.

I'm telling you right now, with the clip you put up on Facebook, I loved. He's a great guy. I went about Trump. What? The one about Trump? Yes. telling you right now with the clip you put up on Facebook, I loved. He's a great guy. I want about Trump. What? I want about Trump. Yes. I just thought it was, but I tell you what you did.

I visually look great too. I think you did a great job, especially with what you had. You didn't have, you know, these major crews and all that, you, I love it. I, I'm telling you right now, I love this shit that's coming out. You know, like, CERPAco with J-Train coming out with these little short films that everybody's a part of, they're fun.

Lauren was in there. Right now, you can, we're, we're, I love it. We're technologies become cheaper off. People, we're all kind of getting like fans that also really talented as well that want to work with us that want to collaborate. So what happens is we're kind of taking control of the content.

Talking to them, I'm dumb dumb. We're taking control of the content. We don't need to go. We don't even use the technology. We don't need to go. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology.

We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology.

We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology. We don't even use the technology, I don't use it, I don't really go. I imagine I'm giving your advice in a car. It's like, but it's really good. No, but it really is true, so you don't need to fucking, I think we wait for people to go,

oh, you can do a special, or you can do a radio show, you can do a podcast here, you can just do it yourself, and we have a better perspective on what's funny and good, and what's supposed to look like. I'll tell you, you have to trust yourself. My special, the reason why I backed out of it Is because we're supposed to do I wanted I wanted to do a small little 200 seats or less that was my thing Because I'm not a theater guy. I don't go to theaters. I do clubs

Mm-hmm. I do theaters too, but I'm not doing 2,500 theaters the night a week before out They call me up. You have to do this John J theater 2500 seats Whatever and they were like I was like no because Steve burn was doing it the night before and they got a deal on theater for two I was like now I walked the fuck away and It sucked because I what you know I wasn't doing my special and that's when I went to serpent corn I was like he goes I think I can shoot it and He went it we pulled so many favors. We did it for so much less than they said.

It was gonna cost me so much the village underground. Yes. So much bullshit money. People did it out of the love of filming. Bobcat stepped in and directed it with, with, fuck yeah. On a, on a, and did me a solid. Maxwell Bobcat.

I mean, you paid him though. Of course, I paid him, but not as rate, right? You know, not as, fully, I mean, and did me a solid Maxwell Bobcat. I mean you paid them though of course. I paid him but not as rate right right not as a fully I mean but you know I But anyways it in my special dude was exactly what I wanted I did exactly what I was doing a character So it's fucking great. I imagine? Oh, you knew why too? Bob? That was a great Bob. That was a fat joke and a bomb, fat joke. That was a fun. Yeah.

I think you're right is that I was petrified. Because here we did a special, we filmed it. And nobody bought it. It was nobody had it. It was like, all right, I'm just going to put it on my website and take the hit and hopefully fans buy it. And then that's when it's taken a hit that you would have made money on it. We're doing it.

I did. I made money on it. I own it. I own it and Comedy Central paid and Netflix love them for doing it. Robbie Pra's over there now. It's Netflix love them for doing it. Robbie Prauz over there now, which is great. I love it. But you know, it's still hard right now to do a special because they do want a certain type. There's a casting call out there for special. Well, especially for somebody like Dave who's doing politically humor, but not taking

the liberal side. He's just calm, busting everybody. Even if you're on a phone call yesterday, you know, they're talking about trying to do a late night set with them. And they're like, Oh, well, that one Hillary joke. You couldn't really do it. And it's not even really trashing Hillary that much. He's saying she's not charming. Yeah. Just saying she's not charming. They're like, they're never going to let that on the air. No, which is crazy. It's crazy. They're silencing an entire half of the country. But here's a thing now, but here's the whole process is that the whole process is is that it's going out there anyways. Now that you guys did it. You know, my special they

wouldn't have ever gotten filmed at the village underground. They would have never let me do it there. They would have never let me do it the way I wanted to do it. And we did it anyways. And people liked it. And there you go. Dave's wouldn't know it's going to fucking buy that. But now they liked it and there you go, Dave's, no one's gonna fucking buy that. Nope. But now they will. Because they see it. They don't see it verbally.

When you say Dave's and political and blah, and then when you film it and then you show them, they're like, oh my god, you did it. I like this. Right. And they're also scared. They're such pussy's. They won't take a chance.

But when they see that people jump onto it, they're gonna go, oh, we'll take it now. Well, that's exactly it's when you, somebody has to take a chance, but when they see that people jump onto it, they're gonna go, oh, we'll take it now. Well, that's exactly it. It's when you, when you, somebody has to take a chance, right? And you were obviously supposed to take a chance of yourself. So you need a couple cool kids to go, oh, that's fucking awesome. And then everyone goes, oh, yeah. You know, they don't know.

They have no idea. I don't think it's that. I think that, I think that they really, like, now we're not interested. But then they watch it and go, oh, I am. I like it. You have, it's like, I don't even know. I don't think they're that clever. I don't think they're that clever. Well, the lady at Comedy Central said no to me. And then when she saw it and go, oh, I am. I like it. You have it's like, I don't even know. I don't think they're that clever. I don't think they're that. Well, the lady of Comedy Central said no to me. And then what she saw, she was like, you

know what? I like it. I don't know what they want. But they didn't, they don't know the jokes. They don't know how I'm going to do it. They don't know what my presence is. I can't rub. They don't know what's that? It's a lot of the work, too. So once, once more, that work is on, they go, okay, cool. Well, now we can just buy this flat out right. There's no sweat equity. We don't have to wear it, putting everything together. We don't really have to take the chance. We can go, we can buy that, put it on. Right. That's, I think you're right. It's a lot, it's a lot of just the world side of it, I think. Well, it's not that because it has to fit. It has to be funny.

It has to be funnier than the casting call they're putting out. You see, they want these type of comics. And if you're not that type of comic doing that type of comedy, you have, it has to be good. It has to be good visually. It has to, it has to be good jokes. Why, they have to go, that's really funny. It has to surpass, you have to be almost better

than what they expected you to be. I can't be honest with you. I almost feel like a part, like, look, we opted to not go to comedy central with this and that's the surpass. You have to be almost better than what they expected you to be. I almost feel like a part like look, we opted to not go to comedy central with this because the mart. I think it would be they'd bury it. They we we did 75 minutes. We edited it down to 62 minutes. Thank God.

They would cut down another 20 minutes out of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, all of the good. Yeah. That's poor. Long run. It should be a 15 minute special. No, I mean, we're not shot because on access to them, they would bury it and nobody,

nobody would watch it. No, no one's seen that. Like, literally nobody will watch it. We can go directly to the fans right now. We know we'll do an initial sale of it and then eventually after, you know, a year you can go throw it up on the website and people will be able to fucking see it and hundreds of thousands of people will be there. But here's more valuable than, look at Louis CK.

I mean, he made millions on his special when that thing. Well, here's the thing is that you're building up with things like this. I think things like, you know, doing daves. I think what CERPORCO is doing with J-Train, people are saying no, and we're not taking that. We're not allowing people to say no, because it's like, all right, I'll just do it myself.

We put it out there and let, and let, let fans fucking say yes. And can I say this as well? If you're a fan of that you love good comedy, like Balsey comedy, go fucking buy that stuff because that encourages all of the comics that you love to go do it the way they want to do it because even like somebody like you, Bob, wouldn't you give it away to Comedy Central or wouldn't you give it away to somebody else? You're literally saying, Hey, do what you want to do. If they want to edit shit out, if they want to pull shit out, if they want to change the

content, you're really at the mercy of that network. Oh, they can't. No, no, no, no, no, it's not absolutely no true. They can't touch my true. Maybe you're not. You're not. They can't touch. They produce smart numbers.

Yeah, they did. They can't touch my special. What the fuck I'm saying? No, no, I don't. You said that I'm at the mercy of them. I was not. I own the rights. I own everything about it. Right. You said that I'm at the mercy of them. I was not. I own the rights. I own everything about it.

And they have to. I'm talking about most of the time. Bobby self-produced has been sold at the Comedy Central. It's a separate thing. Right. When they're producing a Comedy Central special, you're getting a very filtered version of that comic. Mark, you know, Mark, your special was incredible.

You know, I'm saying, but, you know, I think the reason why people have a reputation of not being as good on TV as they do, as being in the clubs is because you get an edited version of that community. And when we're doing it on our own, you're getting a much closer version as to what we really want you to say. So support the comics directly

that are doing it, buy it directly from the websites. Even with iTunes and Amazon, that's great, but buy it directly because it goes directly into the comics box. Well, I think that's where it's all going. Be with comics like us. We're all fucking kind of on the fringe of some weird shit. Some of us feel it's the people I like or on the fringe.

Yeah. That's why I love stand-home. He just says, fuck off and does his own. He was the first guy that I ever said. I was like, I watch him. They were like, oh, a stand-home, but does his, whatever, Tony goes into, he'll just go to the local bar and say, all right, I'll take the door.

You keep the bar and he says, fuck the comedy club. I remember being super young in comedy going, oh, yeah, that's what I'm going to do eventually. Oh, you have to. You get a choice. No, I got an agent. Uh, who's you? Who's your agent?

What are they here? You're Inspector Faggot's own. Yeah, I know. I had it. We did it. Get it out of that. Inspector Faggot's my new head. Can we pitch this?

Hey, listen, what do you got, buddy? Uh, uh, uh, I know it's hard to follow everything I know Jesus Christ those old plugs huh holy shit That was all plugs a lot of plugs you got a lot of podcasts I'm at a geez check my website mark Norman comedy and Jesus I'm in Portland New Orleans Cincinnati come on out see I apologize to you too about the food in New Orleans. Oh, I appreciated that. I really do. I had amazing food.

It's the best. I guess I had a bad fucking run. I was down on Bourbon Street and I went to a bunch of shit places. I went to some great restaurants with me and Nick DePaul who are doing the casino down there. And me and Nick went to one place. I was two places we went to and I was like what the fuck it's unreal there's not I had jambalaya off the fucking charts yes one of the best things I've ever eaten in my life and you can't get it here now you cannot

no I appreciate it all right well thanks for coming on as usual a Tuesday's with stories Tuesday's with stories you and Joe um nor I wonder if I have besides a fucking sick producer. Do you feel better? I can tell can you yeah She's gonna be just piped up just in time for chip show Really I'm just finished July 19th through Do you want to take my podcast on get I will yeah, I'm kidding. Oh, I'm what you You'll be at just the laughs and doing the nasty show. Yeah, what's that change your whole game? Do I get you some ads in this place? I have ads. It's one

You have ads that a lot of ads I have aids I have ads Um, dude, did you do your plugs in? Yeah, he did his pussy. Oh, okay. Sorry. Sorry fucking on Instagram. I've been out of it All right, just for laughs nasty show Montreal 26 the night you scroll up, sorry. What are you in the morning? On Instagram. I've been out of it. All right, just for last nasty show, Montreal 26, the night you scroll up, Bubba. There we go. The 19th to the, what is it, 27th? The seventh.

Well, it's a lot of nasty shows. It is a lot of nasty, but I'm doing the comedy 101. I'm doing my podcast up there. I'm doing, I'm actually doing, I'm playing the drums in the, what is that thing called? Uh, fat tank. No. No. No, the, what was the thing? The comedy jam. Oh, yeah, I wanted to let us play drums on it. I wanted to play, I wanted to play, um, Bajavi. Uh, yeah, Bajavi is my life, but I gave him the option of, uh, highway to hell and he picked up.

No, I can't give options. No, you shouldn't have. Yeah, but fucking, I would have helped me. Dun, dun, dun, shum patta dun, dun patta dun, dun patta dun, dun, dun patta dun,

dun patta dun, dun patta dun, dun patta dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, bad, duh, dun, dun, bad, dun, Dumped, bound, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Yeah, hi, I guess I would have... Wait a minute. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot.

I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot.

I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot.

I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back to faggot. I'm getting back decision by next week. What do you want, you're not here. I've never been a Tampa head. This is tough. I want to be okay. I tried to take it before and you fucking blew me off. No you didn't. No, I tried to take it. It chose fucking cow face over me.

Okay, I love it. That's what I'm talking about. Listen, my cow is one of my great friends. Yeah, I know, great. And I will fucking choose him over a lot of people. I know you will. I love one of them. I get it.

I will, yes. I get it. My cow, and he likes you now, by the way. I don't give a fuck. You can't decide to like me and I'm so okay more girls. Are you like me? I like Mike? Yeah, you like to show me outside of serious XM and he realized that he's fucking 50 years older than me You can't come Little grassy legs you're coming You're gonna be fucking eat my ass in the hood of a fucking taxi.

Woo! That is a food thing in the hood. I'm a road. Yeah, I'm a road. I'm going to Tacoma, Washington, which I'm actually really excited about. Right club. Is it?

Great one. I love it up there, too. It's a great city. I was just out of the city. Mordys and I'm going to Mordys again. Oh, good. All right, there you go. What else do I got?

Is that it? All right, so then you go right there. More dates to come soon. And that's it, man. Alright, there you go. What else do I got is that it? Alright, so then you go right there more dates to come soon Um, and that's it man. Go I'll go with you. We'll call it the trans-americator All right, thanks. I'll see you guys later. I'm a real one still I Pleased him. How do you become a premium member? You know, we just the premium membership in the last month is pop the fuck up Oh, yeah, and I And it's due to, you know, the fans, the shows have been great. You guys are amazing.

It's, so if you want to go, you download the app, correct? Yep. You just download Robert Kelly's, you know, it's due to app and then it's $199 per month. Yep. I got, I just put it up there right now. I have an interview with Jack Vaughan the head of, he was the one who founded Comedy Central Records. That's awesome. Comedy Central Records did not exist.

And this guy who had literally a swing label, that was a movie. No, it's good. The band, the music. He went into Comedy Central with a plan and his story about how it happened. We want to talk about rejection, rejection, rejection, rejection. And then one, yes. And then we're talking Mitch Hebert, Lewis Black, Rell Jorado, Dane Cook. He had a plan with four comedians that fucking blew the fuck up. Straight white males. And so that's up for the premium members that will be up to it's up now right now. By

your time you listen to this, it went up last week, so check that out. Become a premium member, download the app, join. It's very easy. We have some other new shit going on with this network coming up. We're very excited to get in. What is it? What, I'm not telling you.

Very excited to be in Adam working on. And, Who's Adam? My producer. Oh, White Depot. White Depot. He's actually Christophe Duce. He's movie, he's movie Scopheau.

That's movie Scopheau. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's Scopheau. Yeah, it's more like a Scopheau. And hopefully my gorgeous beautiful other producer will be back to normal next week. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, not you know.

Move it, I don't need surgery. I hope you don't need it. We need to get an intern in here. Turn it in here. To help you. You're going to get a chin file down. Oh, that's awesome. I hope you don't either we need to get an intern in here to help you You're gonna get a chin file down That's also I think you look more attractive Hey again again, I'm I'm sorry. What I love you, right? I know you know. I love you look at me

It's fine look at me. That's what it's fine, dude look Buddy, I sometimes I lose it You let go you just don't think about what you're gonna say. I know the word people. Yeah, the words there They hurt people are back calling for noia. Oh No way I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't go I wouldn't stoop that low That's two levels above Gina. You guys are the best. Thanks for listening you guys are the best thanks for coming on Yes, you know what dude we'll talk to you later Thanks for listening, you guys are the best. Thanks for coming on. You know what, dude, we'll talk to you later. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.

Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. And they're all free. Try it. Try it.

Try it. Try it. ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com