Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Invisi-refund | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #59

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss which REGZ member would win an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony, gaslighting Dan, Bobby pulling a prank on himself about Legion of Skanks, Joe List’s beef with Danny Braff putting his pics in the group chat, what a REGZ trip would be like, not knowing each others birthdays, Luis’ Comedy Club TPLD Club, leg hair vs armpit hair, Nate Bargatze and Shane Gillis’ Universal Appeal, Braces, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital.  LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  GLDNew customers get 50% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com  RoSparks https://www.ro.co/regz for $15 off your first order BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ MASA ChipsGet 25% off your first order of MASA Chips with code REGZ @ https://MASACHIPS.com/REGZ LucyGet 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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the promo code Regs 20 for 20% off. All right, let's start the show. Fill her up. Rollin, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. It's the... It's the Regs. Joe List. We got Dan Soda. we got Lewis J. Gomez.

This is fired up. He's fired up. He wants to go. Bobby's tired. Bobby's tired. He's tired of fucking white. You're tired, dude. I'm tired of your fucking bullshit. You're running surveillance on that,

that narc house? What? Fired up. He's like a SWAT team. Do I look like Jenna Jackson and River Nation? Take a tit out. I got the same size tits as her. We're back.

It's the regs. And Joe's fired up because he's got topics. I got stuff. here and he was sitting on the bench back here with his arms on his thing and he goes I got topics I got topics I got a lot to talk about to bring him one topic each I got three four maybe yeah three

you know what I mean I could do a storm chasers reprise I could do a remix of the storm chasers no topics no no topics dude we just fucking go we've been having great shows the last month I don't know just poop out our mouth last month that's two shows I read some reviews in the last one it was

yeah it was a problem it's why I wrote down some things well exactly what I said we were looking at hotels in Bali we were getting details don't fucking listen to them they don't know they don't know what they want they don't know what they want to listen to us chewing to the microphone and talk about hotels

don't forget drinking into the microphone you want to hear the conversation I was having today you're going to be interested in all you're going to be interested but Lewis particularly we have to make some changes to the movie because it's too funny too funny we're like this is a problem we got to edit in some moments

because people it's fucking Crazy. Tits are too big. It's crazy funny. Dude, my girlfriend's too hot. She just sucks too good of a dick. Stop. It just makes me come. We got a problem. What do you mean? There's not

enough heart and enough soul? No, no, no. There's so many laughs in a row. The audience is not missing all. Just put Lewis crying in between each leg. Just like a star white. I've never cried in my life. What? I've never cried to my life. You cry in the movie.

Shut up. Man, am I glad the camera didn't pick up the time I laughed? during skanks. You start crying and I was like, oh, it's really nice. And then you made a noise and I went like, like that. And then I looked up to make sure I wasn't on camera. I was like, oh, thank God. You cry once, you cried twice.

Shut up. You shut up. Don't get mad at me because you're a fucking choir. Honestly, I think it's awesome. That hat sucks, but you crying's often. Yeah, it's so. I know Lewis thinks it's working. People liked it.

A fan gave me this hat. It's his company. It's his logo. I don't know what it was. I was like, let me, I'll wear it. Why not? Oh, that's cool. I take it back.

I thought you just picked it up. What if it's wicked racist? Because it looks a little real. It's a little. It's a little. I never even looked at it. It's like the little Puerto Rican brother of the And One logo. That's what it looks like.

And Una. What is your fucking bombing? What's your topic? No. Lewis got it. That didn't bomb. Basically bomb. He knows the and one guy.

You know the And one guy. One guy is like, yeah. He clearly does. No, he does. He absolutely does. Basketball. I know what it is. Whatever.

Anyways, this movie... I said, and uno. Yeah. I think we're gonna make... This is gonna be... It should be E uno. E uno. E uno.

This is gonna be the fucking greatest concert, comedy, documentary for ever. It's gonna be in movie theater. It's gonna be a movie theater. I don't know. Come on, Joe.

Why don't you get it? You get your specials in movie theaters. Because the last time, I got that because I fucking lost all my money on that. What did you call Tom Duncan? Tom Duncan. His fucking horse sheds in movie theaters. The air to Dunkin' Donuts?

They can't put me in a goddamn movie, a TV show. Why are all my friends fucking... Real quick, can we... Someone bring down Lewis's mic, it's overmodulated. It's so loud. Wow. That's not you being, no.

It's the producers. They don't know what they're doing. You should bring down Lewis's mic. It's very overmodulated. Hey, Paco. Paco. Paco, you're gonna talk shit about how I made you sleep outside for this fucking trip, you fucking piece of shit.

You ready to sleep outside, Paco? Is this your security? What is this, Paco? Where's mine? Oh. Thank you. Sorry Paco. Hey, how you doing?

No brownie? You can ask him, there's no brownies. Um, chocolate chip cookies? Ah, sure. Does Paco have security now? Too much cream. Have we, wait a minute,

when we're expanding on our producers? There's more producers. Is this where our money's going? Luckily, this one smells like an ashtray, so that's cool. He goes, no, guys, good news. He's on the run for murder. So you can yell at him all you want.

He can't do anything. Second, he pushes back. You can just call in that he's here. Is this a new guy? It's Brandon. Are you working on the show now? You don't know, Brandon? No one gave me a show?

Because Joe's out here today. So you're helping up with photos? You're new Joe. Are you taking photos? What is Joe doing? What is Joe doing? Joe's working as a stand-up comedian. He's on the road.

He's on the road for the next two weeks. Two weeks. He's on the road with Tara. Tara. Plumpkin. Who's Tara? The fuck is that? Terra.

Kara Connestrezy. He's doing Napier. Tara, Conestrezy? Who the fuck is that? She's a... Tara's kind of crazy? Is she hot? Pull her up.

Pull this slut up. I want to say her. Also, I should tell you she's the nun of comedy. That's actually sister. Mary Tenunzo. Whatever the hell her name is. Joe, you came in five. Movies don't work.

We tried. People don't go to the movie theater. Can I say something? You know what they see a movie theater is now? Horror and comedy. Yes. The two things that get people to the theater. And I'm just like a fucking skeleton, the whole festival.

Papa Shango. You're going to, you're going to, you're going to. You could get this in the theater immediately. No, I could get it in the theater. I got the Tom Dustin one in the theater. People don't come. She's not that hot. They're not going to come to a fucking documentary about a drunk.

What about a pot? No, we're going to do some premiere. We'll do some big, this is what I learned from last time. Will forewalled the theater. You buy the theater. You rent out the theater. Then you sell your own tickets. You get a distributor.

I did that. I did that. This is different than the last one. No offense to Tom Don't. Okay. This is different. No offense. Listen, no offense to fucking Rocky Six and fucking whatever else is in the theater.

No one's going to the movie. You have, you have Tim Dillon. All the comedians you can put in it. I understand. You're going to get all those people to go. You put shit, just Shane, hold the Shane Gillis story. Dude, the fucking aliens for no one went to see. People don't go to the fucking movies.

They go to see cartoon shit. Nah, dude, they'll go to this. You sell it directly to them. Predator Badlands? Pretty sick. I got still going to see it. Dude, it's fucking really good. Watch it with Max.

Was it packed? Was the theater? In one? Asshole. You know, I didn't watch it in the theater. Just go to Joe's point. He goes, no. It was a hundred-inch TV at my house.

No, we go direct to the viewers. Eight bucks. Movie. We sell it. We sell the movie. We. No, no. We give them eight bucks with the movie.

We Venmo them eight bucks and say, please. Joe, you know when I said, I didn't care about the movie at all like a month ago or the money at all? Yes. I'm taking that back. I care about the movie. You're getting two points. Eight. bucks.

Ten bucks? Did you get my money? I got your money. What do you think your movie ticket should be? Well, you're selling the movie to people. You're not just going to give it out. Why? No, we're selling it.

Why eight bucks? I don't know. I just threw that out there. Netflix is going to pay a lot of money. If they give us a million bucks, maybe. This movie's valuable. It has Tim Dillis. Those mics are overmodulate and a little bit.

Yeah, I sound like a fucking... Let me ask you question. Guys, 1930s. Sonic U. Producers, maybe we need fucking Joe here. I don't know what he does in the background, but it's never sound of the shit. He does.

Is it coming? Is it coming? Is the audio version of this sounding good? It's very clear on our end. I would turn your mic down a tad on your end. Not your mic, your headphones. No, my headphones are almost not existing at this point. I'm hearing your voice came in extremely overmodulated. I'm just making sure that it's coming. It's our headphones that are overmodulating, not the recording. Yes, we hear it very clearly. I hear it clearly. Joe, why do you want to make this, like, have moments? Can you guys do some quick math? What is one million divided by eight? How many people would have to buy this movie in order to get to a million. $342. $1,000?

No, $342. People? Eight times $342 is not $1 million. Are you sure? Maybe Netflix will give us a million bucks. $125,000 people would have to buy the movie in order to make a million dollars. You got to do $10. You can't do $8.

Who the fuck? That's weird. I don't know. I feel like I'm getting scammed if I'm paying $8. That's how much it costs to get... 20 bucks. Wifi. 15 bucks.

We haven't thought this far ahead. The point is... What about a DVD? The movie. is going to be physical media Yeah, we'll sell them a DVD player Also do DVD special extras And then do the virtual

Skate tour with Rodney Deirdrefield We can have Voss sell them at the end of his show Dude, he'll stand outside It's the position It was the role he was born to play Literally, it's going to be me on the road selling DVDs. Guys, don't forget

A couple years ago A friend followed me around at Skagit Everybody's going to need to see stuff Now who said that it's funny Like did you have Like somebody else watch it There's it all just you guys. Me and the editor.

We're watching. It's fucking hilarious. All right. You think it's not funny? What's so funny about it? What the fuck is so funny about me? You got to let someone... You're saying things that are funny.

Like the other day, like we other day I watched the clip where you go, hey, young great, you're talking to me and Bennington, you go, young gravy wants to come by? Do you know, young gravy? I go, no, I never heard of him. Ron goes, I know his brother stuffing, but that was some years ago. That's just a little moment. That's nothing. I mean, because we have the podcast will be in there.

The regs, we were humming. Yeah. What about the book reading? Do you have that? Of course we have that. Are you kidding? What's the best part? I don't know.

You don't know. You're not to say what it was, but what's the part of you? Your favorite moment. I mean, I haven't gotten all over there. I'm only like two days through the footage. But like you coming out at the fucking story, the original story war, the first story wars of the whole thing. And then you're riffing on the guys.

You're not in it yet. But you'll be in it. The riffing. Exclusively. Listen, this dance shows up for one hour at the end of the festival. I'm an exclusive. DLC. He's doing a cameo at the end of it.

I go, I'm like Steven Seagall an executive decision. You think out there, and then you go, he was in the movie for a very short time. Best part of the movie. Yeah, you get sucked out of it too. You think if we've seen him cry, you are going to cry like a bitch.

I'm going to cry like a bitch. Everybody's like, I love Lewis. He's fucking great. It's crazy. Everybody? You're going to soft. Lewis didn't give away physically, but that sentence just made Lewis happy.

Yeah, he's starting his eye. Yeah. I saw the glimmer where he went. Who said the best things about me? I mean, it's a tie between Bobby and Dan and me, frankly. These two. Three. Three.

Yeah. These two guys. Yeah. Who's Frank? Frank Lee said something? Oh, yeah. Frank Lee. Is he fucking unbelievable.

That's Frank Lee. That's Frank Rhee. You've only watched. Lewis is so good. Not that funny, but good. You've only watched two days of the footage, but you already know the movies? There's only three days. What do you mean?

It's like you haven't watched all the footage. You don't know what's going in the movie. Yeah, so how do you know you're going to take the... Because I'm howling laughing at the footage. That's good. A quarter of it. But you guys, it's like, this is how you guys are as fucking people. You're trying to convince me that Skank Fest the event wasn't funny.

No, we're saying it's funny, but you're coming out of it, so you watch the whole movie. It's done. And I have to add... I'm telling you, I know. I've been in this business a long time. You're hitting Bobby with that? I've been in this business for...

Joe. It's not just the movie. We're not going to make the money in that. movie. It's about merchandising. Merchandise. Action figures. Yes. Scangfest breakfast cereal. No. Blackbeard coffee. What is it? With play sets.

This so you have to... Flame thrower. Oh, Lewis and Jay are getting into it before a skank fan. Here comes Dave. And there goes Dave. Thank God. Retractable Dave. And Dave comes back.

Flip of just for a little. Disappearing Dave. It's going to be special, dude. I got, and you guys look. Great. You got this look going on backstage. Little heavy, but you look fit as a drum. You really did. You were the kind of weight like when a wrestler doesn't put an effort before a paper view. And you go, come on, it's the Royal Rumble. Try a little bit.

Yeah, it was a problem. It's going to be epic. When they bring old wrestlers back and you go out. How long is going to be? It's going to be long because it's a long event. Maybe two hours and 20 minutes. We might be doing intermission for the live event. Two hours and 20 minutes. Two hours and 20 minutes.

Trentino movie? Sweet Christ. Nobody wants to watch a movie for two hours. You laying it at that. 90 minutes flat. What are you doing? 90 minutes? 90 minutes.

And then you do a release act with like extra footage. I have an idea. Skangfest, the movie, part two. Two movies. Sequel. It's not bad.

And then we'll do like a fucking re-edit like they did with Kill Bill. We'll go into theaters later on when we have a full thing. The full thing. The Lewis Redux. Here's the thing. The real ass redux. People act like, oh,

everything's too long. What do they do? They watch a whole series in a day. Binge watch. So if you sell it to Netflix, make it into a series. They could do that. They did that with Hateful Eight. They chopped it into four parts.

Why don't you do a four-part series for Netflix? Yeah. This could be like the new Torgasm. We'll see. Damn, you're the new Dane Cook. You need a fucking thing. You're Gary Goldman. And I've considered it.

It's a fucking movie. Watch the movie. You're still Bob. One battle after another. You're Jay Davis. You're Jay Davis. You're Jay Davis. Jay Davis.

The most insensitive things that everyone's ever. said to me. I'm Gullman. This is the meanest thing anyone's ever said to you. I'm Gary Goulman. Shut up and make him a sandwich. You're Bobby. You can't watch the red tape. You're fucking busy. Here we go. Here's one of my topics.

You know, the Egot, the Academy Award, the Grammy and the Emmy and the Tony. Let's play this. One of us each has to win one. Who wins which? Bobby wins the Tony. Why do I? No, Lewis wins the Tony.

Lewis is this gay song. Yeah, he knows what it is. The real American folk song. He gets the Tony. He gets the tone. I think Joe gets the Oscar. Thank you. Of course.

For directing. Gangfest. Best doc. I get the Oscar for acting. You're out of your mind. No, you get an Emmy for acting. He got the Tony. I want a fucking Emmy.

That's television. Yeah, I got the Emmy. You get the Grammy best comedy album. Because you're like in the mix. You're like a guy. I get the audience. And you spoke the best Grammy. Hell yeah.

You get the best. Oscar Meyer weaner hot dogs Your Grammy was stabbed the death, I assume I thought that was the Gomez way out No I get the Oscar That's like the most obvious one easy You have fucking two movies under your belt Yeah, you have fucking fat under your belt bro

You're not fat anymore It just felt like a good line Joe, you get a cable ace award Not as much anymore, right? No, SkangFest Duck Best Documentary Yeah, it's gonna go away this week. No, this week's going to be a problem. This week's

going to be a problem. I'm going into vacation fat. It's going to be an actual problem. Paco, can you weigh Lewis daily for us? No, we need to weigh him today. Yes. Then when he comes back. Yeah, do we have a scale? Do you guys want to make a gambling bet on how much weight he's going to weigh? Yeah.

A gambling bet as opposed to what? A fucking alpha bet? That was great. Can I point this out? Paco said last year, I did not think that was going to lay it. We came in and Paco said, oh, Lewis made me sleep outside. Yeah, I remember that. That's why we called a mosquito boy off air. It didn't fucking infuriating.

We got there last year. And by the way, Paco, you could affirm this at this point. Confirm? Affirm. Apocco walks in and then he goes, he gives away the rooms. He's like, he's like, oh, no, no, no, this guy should have room. This guy should have room. He's like, I'll take the shittiest room possible.

He tries to be that guy. My least favorite thing in a person. I hate that. Fake modesty. He didn't have to sleep outside. He could have to sleep outside. could have slept on the couch, but he slept outside because he's a fucking island person, right?

And he's a fucking... He was just in him? Yeah. This time we have, we have room for everybody, though. Except, but the last part of that, you admitted you didn't have room for everybody. Well, he had to sleep on a couch. Okay. That's okay.

Work on a couch. Sectional? He put the sex in sectional. It's not, they're not great cases of the Jamaican villa, but this villa is fucked. So everybody stays in the same place. And everyone has Down syndrome? Yeah. We have.

And no one can live by the... themselves? No, everyone's staying in the same place. There's one room that has five beds. So all the... Like a dorm. The new guys, they're going to have to stay all the... Then you push them all together for Lewis. Because he's big. Here we go.

But it's Cabo. We're going to Mexico. And I found out that there are whorehouses in Cabo. Oh, well. Poco will be sleeping in a cowboy box. One of the... One of the... Paco, we're going to go to the whorehouse?

No. You're going to lose an employee. What? I hope it's Brandon. Yeah. You don't want to. So it turns out. Brandon's working at a Mexican whorehouse.

Turns out, even though El Chapo's gone, the Sonola cartel is still very powerful. They have two of our employees. You don't want to go to Ohio's in fucking Mexico? We went to one and two want to. You did? That's wild. You liked it? Yeah, but that's not Mexico.

It was terrible. That's San Diego. I remember the girl tried to 69 million. There was white stuff around her. Oh. You told this story on the show. I hate, I'm telling it fucking again. I don't remember.

it? Yeah. Because I talked about the horrohouse in Tijuana. Yeah. And then he said, I went to one that was white shit around her pussy. Now it's told three times. I heard if you tell it four, the white shit disappears. She heals. Well, they're strip clubs, but I think that there are more houses because I was looking to see if there were strip clubs.

And I want to go with the boys to a strip club. Are you going to pay? Am I going to pay? For the strip club? For everybody? Yeah. It's like 50 cents. I'll pay their admission.

Lewis is going to give one lady 50 bucks and go, how many will you do it once? Sorry, guys. I got you guys a gang bang. Sorry guys. I think a cartel member's here to kill us. Yeah, but I got a bunch of cash out. I'm not going to carry cards around here. We're carrying cards around.

Like, you'll get drunk and then cartel members will come and stick you up and be like, go to the ATM machine. Sounds like a fun vacation. No, Oscar, Emmy, Tony, Grammy. That's it. No. I don't get a fucking Emmy. You get an Emmy.

You're a great actor. You're not going to be in a movie. You're a TV show. I'm not an Emmy. I'm not an Emmy. Daytime Emmy. Daytime Emmy. Daytime Emmy.

Daytime Emmys Bobby. All local Emmy. I wouldn't mind a daytime. A daytime wouldn't be bad. You and Lucie? You and Susan Lucci? And Ben Bailey? No, I can see you getting a roll.

It's a cop. I see it. Look at it. I'm looking. I thought you're going to do a fat joke about rolls. See, yeah. You're not an Oscar yet. You're an Emmy.

Not yet. I would say gold. I would say you get a Golden Globe. Damn. Golden Globe. Why don't you just give a BAFTA? Jesus. What's a Golden Globe?

What is that for? TV and film. Ooh. Both. Yeah. I won't get any of them. Don't you think, we all agree you're the Tony.

Oh, 100%. You could be on Broadway, bro. I could be on Broadway. Yeah, you are. I went to go see James' play this past week. How was it? It was great.

He fucking killed it. Beetlejuice. Was he Beetlejuice? No, he was the father. Great. The father. Yeah, he was the dad. He was great.

He killed it. The kids are great. How was the kid that played Beetlejuice? He was really good. It was good. Sounds like James could have took that role. He was good. He was a little bit of an overrector,

but he was good. Let's get the notes. Let's get those nails out, you catty bitch. Let's put on the beret. Really break this kid down. Flat, flat, boring. Brought no new levels to the character. Literally everyone was great.

Lydia was great. She was fucking hot. Okay. What? For a seventh grader. Oh, God. Kidding. Guys, I'm joking.

Boop. This is those four bars that part of the podcast. Back to me. No, it was really good. Then we went to go see the high school version of Chicago. Too old for you, though.

Chicago and high school? Is that kind of sexy? Why did you go see another play at the high school? They wear like fishnets and stuff. Oh, yeah. These girls were fucking laying it down. They're doing a high school Chicago and they're letting you in. Also, you're just going like, yeah, it's pretty good, James.

I think we can catch the high school Chicago. You want to double up? Chicago was like my porn for like three years of my life. I had the DVD. How do you feel about catching a 4 p.m. Chicago? Why did you go to the high school play? Because James sees the high school play every year, too, because this high school that he's going to go to.

Right, I get you. Got it. Got it. They were great. I mean, I was actually legitimately impressed. And hard? With the legs on these guys. Oh, my God.

Drama, you are setting James up to have a ton of women. Yeah. Throughout, I mean. No, James was on stage at one point he was dancing. Four. Literally all four of, no, three. I'm sorry, all three of the girls that he's been boyfriend and girlfriend with were on stage behind him. And I was like, look at this little fuck.

That's you. That's your roast. Yeah. But it really is. I mean, drama department, put your kid in band or drama. And he's also like, he's like fit and like funny and smart. Yeah. Yeah, these girls, they melt.

They love him. Yeah, and he's doing draw. Dude, I should have done drama club. I would have gone. So fun. So fun. I enjoy. I love it.

I love it. It was also tossed around. You missed the part. He said shredded and gorgeous. True. Yeah, you missed that part. Well, they also fuck ugly dudes, Bobby. Yeah, I got pussy in drama.

See, he knew. And I was a fucking, I was like a fat kid with long purple hair. And they were like, we'll do it. You're not gay. I did drama in community college at Bunker Hill. Nice. That's where I did drama. That's what Rob Williams teaches.

Is it? Oh, yeah, I remember that. I think he was one of my teachers. A lot of people say that's why he killed himself. Damn. You can't do it anymore. You get goofy autistic laugh on that. Oh, Danny brings me to my next topic.

Oh, what we're done with the first topic? You're, by the way, you're speeding through topics. We got to pull the threads on these out of them. Meth and Fed of me, Joe List. Pull the thread on a topic for a little. We're eight minutes into the show. We can come back around. Pull the thread.

We can come back around. I want to make sure I get them all out. That's all. If you want to destroy my sweater. Oh, whoa, pull this thread as I walk away, as I walk away.

I like that part. He got me on that part. Thank you. I wanted to hate it, but that part. Nobody talks about Pinkerton. That was on the other book album. Pinkerton's fucking.

They're like a embarrass of that album. I love it, El Scorcho. Yeah. I'm dumb, she's a lesbian I thought I had found the one We're talking We were good as married in my mind We're married in my mind's no good

Why did they hate that first album so much? Second album. I don't know. I thought Pinkerton was the first and blue was the first and blue was the first. Blue was the first album. Look at Dan trying to be like a nerd when he was a fucking obvious jock who would beat up Weezer fans.

Well, I was both. I was a jock. He was a jock. He didn't know. Alpha jock. I played football. First off, I didn't even start. Number two, I was getting high since I was fucking 13.

What are you talking about? I was getting a weezer. You weren't a weezer. You think weezer's not for potty? Dan, God, man, you got a fucking temper. Yeah, Dan, you got to chill, dude.

We're friends, dude. I don't know what happened. You know? But it's aggressive. You guys are gaslighting me. No and not. Dan, you've gotten more aggressive in the last couple years.

I have, and I appreciate it. I'm expressing myself. Well, it's not. It's kind of fucking scary. It's unbecoming. Seeing that fucking head come at you with aggression is really scary. Like one of those deaths.

Fucking deaths. Yeah. Death star, I can't even talk. I love Tweezer. I'm upset. He's trying to be calm even though he's fucking, I don't like this. He's angry brewing under the service.

That's scary. You try to be calm is scary. Dan is two episodes away from quitting. You guys are driving Dan away. Okay. You're going, you're mad. I'm going, no, I'm not mad. Just I'm hurting.

You go, oh, we'll see. Now he's mad. Christ, you fucking. We're going to lose Dan. We're not going to lose fucking Dan. Who to replace Dan with? Dave Smith. That'd be, what a move.

That's it. No, I think we replace him with. Have you, people really thought that I was replaced. Got to be someone amazing. People were saying such mean things about you. Why are you trolling them to say the worst things possible about you? Hey, bet you can't hit me. Bet you can't punch me right in my fucking heart?

Hey, you want to say the meanest things possible to me? Well, here's your chance. Green light. Green light. It was so fun. He goes, Hey, John. To see people get,

to see grown men get angry. It's like when the American gladiators would, they would have to run through the thing while they would try to shoot him with the tennis ball guns. This is Bobby. So I was getting congratulations

from people I haven't talked to in years. That's funny. And I'm like, I was a joke. It was a fucking joke. You're in the bracket, though. The Spursion Casas did a bracket.

And Sarah, Sarah did another video, which was fucking hilarious. She posted after mine that she got. it, which was fucking... That's really funny. That's very funny. Yeah, put you lighten yourself on fire for the bit.

Yeah, what are you going to do? Get Danny Brough. Troll the trolls. Yeah. Danny Brath. I thought you should get Zach or crack. Getting Amico in there. Zach would be great.

Then we have to kill a real-ass podcast, though. Thank God. Thank God. Yeah, it'd be fucking two for one. Yeah. People love that show, dude. Really? Yeah. People, and he means that.

You just got serious on that one, though. Don't try to do that to me. Yeah, I'm doing it to you. I'm doing it exactly. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like it, dude. I wasn't even mad.

You're like, oh, you're mad. You're really mad. It's driving crazy. My next topic is not so much a topic. It's a beef that I want to squash. Slow down. Let's pull up on threads. God, pound town.

Normally we have no Poundtown list. Normally we have no topics, dude. So I'm just getting through mine. We're going from things to think to think. You have four topics. That's a whole show. I can read you back the minutes from the meeting already. Dan, read us back.

But I'm eager to fucking. Okay. We did Egot talk. where Joe assigned you and Emmy. You're like just bra bra bra bra blah blah who would get what

and then you just went Emmy Grammy Babbabba done next topic you win it for this you win it for that and now we're moving on another thing I don't like

this is the funniest thing ever I got to add some sentimental stuff to it go I've only watched two days of footage even though there's four days of footage next topic done

done movie $8 price point out where's my cookies serious question good question which does bring up

a real boy I just turn around He's not there. No, he actually died in a car accident 26 years ago right on the corner of Western McDougol. It's a ghost that lives in... He haunts this place.

Yeah. This is the old fueled cellaratic. Look at you. All right. Not a topic, but I'll just say something. I got a little beef with somebody in this room. Oh, God. And I'm going to say it's a big beef.

All right. Don't say who. Give us some of the beef. Which voices is this person to? We can guess. Based off of your beef, we'll guess who it is. Someone fart? I don't know, but that's an interesting lead-in.

The other day, I took a fucking hilarious dump. We know who this is. It was a big giant capital J with two long logs in the hook. Unbelievable. One of the great, craziest, funniest, fucking most mind-blowing shit I've ever seen. Can I just say it? I know we're going to build the story out. The English you put on that turd to get that rap.

It looks like I put my hands on it. I thought you stood up. I thought you stood up. It looks like you stood up. I made it like ice cream. Yeah. We have a Patreon? Put it on the Patreon.

It's fucking wild. It's really good. It's a why. It's a perfect book. When you take a shit that says something, it makes you feel good. It's a perfect. I did a question mark once. It's your bottom.

It's your bottom mouth talking. It comes up on my Amazon and my TV area, which is just a question mark. It looks like an ampersand. It was like, and it went question. I didn't get that. That's crazy. So I texted the group. May I

please share a photo of a hilarious shit? Bobby says yes. I didn't wait for what do you call it? By the way I don't like here's thing I don't like looking at other people's shit It doesn't make me happy

But you've earned You've earned your right It looks like four shits in one You know it looks like it looks like when you're fishing And you put the worm on the hook Yes That's what I said It looks like a hook

I look a hook shit caught two random shit I texted You could catch a fish with it I said, I looked like I caught two fish with the same hook. Houston, you've earned your right to send us shit pictures, dick pictures, you know, pictures of your herpes, your teeth, whatever. Any disgusting things, man, you really put the teeth. You named all gross things. Yeah, all gross things.

I wore invisaline. You still wearing them? Now I, fuck, now at night I wear a retainer. Look great. Thank you. Alpha jock. Keep going, pussy. My alpha jock.

I'm an elf. You need a fucking invi... I earn the right. Invisor refund. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's the good stuff. All right.

It took us 30 minutes to get there, but that's that good stuff. Hardest I've ever seen Lewis laugh at anything. Yeah. Anyways, if I may. So then I sent it. Everyone went, you did a funny emoji face with the red cheeks.

Whoa. Everyone had a funny line. quips and then Yep This is crazy One of the craziest things I've ever had I mean maybe the Tino movie We'll cut to another scene to let you know how it affected

Where we all were when this happened We had a great little time talking about Joe Schitts Joe said we all made some little jokes Yep Everyone had fun and then I put my phone down And then when that thread went off again I went What are we doing?

We've done everything we could do with this What else could be going to? It's the Brendan Sagalow signing the wall Yes. Thank you for stealing my joke from the thread. Oh, that was your joke. Was that your joke? I don't read your threads.

From the thread. Literally, I said that joke. Yeah, you really did. From the thread. And also, us talking about the Brennan Sacklow sign on the wall, Ryan from comics texted me. He's like, hey, he was like, just so you know, like the painting over that, that was your idea.

He told me. That's so funny. I was like, yeah, I don't remember that at all. He was like, yeah, you told me to paint over it. I was like, oh, that's even better. That's even funny. There you go. Yeah, you should definitely better.

I didn't really steal you joke. I was reiterating. You look at it that way? Oh, I see. Danny Braff. Yeah. A fucking ugly, autistic. Whoa.

Jewish. Peace of garbage. It's crazy. Texas us, us men. Successful married men with children. Everyone. Fucking Tony. Everyone put, everyone's put in 20 years.

I think more. Everyone here is put in 20 years of fucking work. Yeah. To be funny. We've all earned each other's respect. We've been doing this with each other for 15 years. And I asked permission also on top of that. Yeah.

And my shit was funny. A J with two logs in the J. He sends us a straight spike. It was seeing, it reminded me of seeing a man's penis on the subway for the first time. Yeah. And he's the same feeling where I went. I'm in a mindset. What is happening right now?

Why is this out right? Now put it in my mouth. Yeah. Oh. Danny, what the fuck? Please. Danny, what are you thinking when you see like the four of us where we're, you know, we're friends, we're like, you guys even being in that group? I mean, I don't even consider, I don't even have your numbers saved properly.

You thought he was Joe. Up until a month ago, when you see the four of us going off on a thing and we're like, we're bust in it, at what point do you go, oh, I have an idea. I'm going to join in on this now and show everyone my shit. What is going on in your head? You're just upset that my shit was better than yours and tighter. See, this is the problem with, this is the problem. Because we slammed you, you didn't slam them. They never got fucking beat.

These guys are entitled because they never had somebody making fun of their outfits. They never have their faces now. Oh, let me clarify. I've been slammed my whole life. Danny Braff has had it easy for too long. I don't think Danny Braff is walking through life like he's Rob Low. That's his family. No, I'm talking about.

I've watched everybody. These fucking comments. never they say after this it was good and they just they talk and they're nice to each other he's never been fucking the comp the pure confidence is nuts it's it's it's it's bonkers but because he's saying with one action he's like hey i'm one of you guys let me show you Danny you know you're better than you he's saying taking the pounding now he's going because mine was better than yours it's like you should be taking the pounding that we're about to give you instead of still fighting us you should be taking Danny you're a disgusting human

Thank you. Better. What did you think was going to be the reaction, Danny? Well, I'm also anti-ship picks the way Louis is. No, you're not. No, you cannot fire one off that fast. I have you can't, you know, that's, that's a lie. No, I fired off one so fast.

And there was nothing unique about your shit. It was just a long- It came out of the water? I did that this morning. You don't see me fucking dodging at it. I just did it before you guys came in. Yeah, I came out of the closet, okay? Yeah.

He's gay. You gay? Mm-hmm. Yeah, very. I can't believe you. just now realize that. Danny, do you feel shame

and embarrassment for what you've done? Of course. Thank you. Like, yeah, are you like, you're like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that.

If you learned your lesson? I've learned my lesson. Was there a moment of regret where you went, oh, maybe I should have held on to that. By the way, Natalie is on the thread to which I didn't realize. I sent a big,

dumb picture of Natalie. That's what Joe says. I thought the picture was Natalie. Your picture originally? Oh. It was Natalie. I sent me a selfie right now. Oh, no, shit.

Oh, she got new earrings. I don't know those are turds. Danny, It was fucked up. Made me want to throw up. No permission. It's gross. No funny.

No rules. No direction. No, Danny. You act as if you got permission from one person. There's six people in the group. Are you? Yep. Joe List.

Hold on, no, no. I'm not going to sign off on that. You know, yelling at Joe List. Yeah. Danny fucking whatever your last name is. It's Brough. Brath. Bluff.

Shouldn't even rhyme with laugh. Take that. Bobby's the leader. He said yes. Yeah. That's not how if I want to have sex with some girl and then I ask another girl, that doesn't mean I can have sex with that girl. Yes, it does.

Yes, it does. Absolutely it does. What you're talking about? As long as it's the leader woman. If it's the older woman. Are you head lady? Can I fuck your friend over there? Yeah, if a woman invites me into her house, I can have sex with her.

That is true. Absolutely. As long as she doesn't have garlic on the bed. Or if I say, do you want to write jokes with me and she says yes, I'm allowed to eat her out, whenever I want for the rest of our life. Love eating pussy. Me too. But so you took that shit

Danny did you take that shit After Joe sent his picture Of course Oh so he sent it And then you took a shit And was like oh this will go with it Yeah you scurried to the toilet What did you think our reaction was gonna be

It was disgusting Unless your shit is like black We're not we're not Are you bleeding? We're not disgusted with your shit We're disgusted with your confidence Here's why it's just It's just a gross shit

It's just disgusting When you look at Joe's shit I mean, it's impressive how much of this. My shit is fun. Joe's all under, it's all under the water. And it's under the water. Your brain goes and creates it. What is it?

Under the sea cloud. You go like that. It's just a shit. When you look like, when I see Danny shit, I'm like, it's just shit. That's the only thing it could be. There's no fun. It reminds me of a dead animal on the side of the road. Look at the end from his ass.

It just pinched. Look how fat it is down, though, at the bowl. It's fat and then it pinched out. Daddy, you did fucking clip the end of your shit. Oh, my. Tight puckery Jewish asshole. You make me fucking. It can open so big and then close so tight.

The fact that it has the end, like a fucking Hershey's kiss. Like a fat, like it's made in a factory, you fucking shit. Put a heart on an eye. Yeah, it looks like an iguana tail. I don't like it. It's fucking gross. The way it's just lumber. Joe shit is just fucking cylindric the whole way out.

Bang. Joe's shit is just like a perfect fun shit. With some side cars. Dana, you still had shit in your body, you nasty pig. And Joe had a couple little dots around the shit. Yeah, you could tell that it. Starter pack. Danny's shit's too much of a tryhard.

And your shit has like alligator's skin texture. It's gross. You know, it looks like the nail, the steak that you hang a tent up with. You don't think you're going to say a Jesus up with. There you go. There's a thing. Joe's water isn't colored. Danny's shit colored the water.

That's because it's his piss. He drinks of water, really? Because you sit down and pee first before you shit, you fucking hear. What are you shit standing up? I love the Joe's. Joe's. Joe Lewis just gave away how he shits. Yeah, what do you sit down to pee?

Then you poop. Shut up, dude. Hey, where's the cookies? Did the cookies come? What the fuck is this? What is that? Is this? Oh, my God.

Why? Why? Why? What is a little Asian butt? Pocko. Paco. Poco, let's see your Asian butt. Open the box, Paco.

Paco, come here. Paco, open the box. Paco, we can't get to the cookies, Open the box. Pacco, we can't get to the box. Because we're this show now. We're shit and naked t'clock. That's what we are now.

Open the box. Sweet Lord. That's what the show's become. Here we are. I'm not moving to Texas. I'm staying. You can't get the NC word down there? Actually, you can.

Yeah. Get anything. I get a golden ticket on a Tony. I got Danny's shit and fucking Paco's pubs in my head now. Why does you just come out naked? I don't get it. Was that a callback? No, he's just Paco.

The box was a savage. But you're trying to take the heat off, Danny? Yes. He's trying to, he wanted to break the monotony a little bit, and he sure did. The cookies touched your dick. No, they didn't. The box did. His hand. Boxing him are both yellow.

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All right. Let's get back to the show. I'm in vacation mode. I want one of those cookies, but I'm not doing it. Not until tomorrow. Why? Because I can't start this early. I can't my stomach can't hurt when I get on the flight

What of him looks like Danny's shit Except fucking Oh What's this? Oh is this how it starts? I have one little bite It starts with one one bite Lewis gets fat Dude have it

You deserve it You work hard You work so hard You go on vacation dude It doesn't matter a day It's one cookie Not cookies dude You should I had all the sugar-free chocolate

yesterday and I my stomach has been Because it's fucking poison I boxed six of the paper Seven days. I'm fucking... And this is the best I can get. Dude, I did Muay Thai. Just a half hour in the bag.

I didn't wrap my hands. Yeah. They were swollen for four days. Wow. You should have hit your mouth on it. Hmm? Okay. Would have made your mouth bigger?

Yeah, would have made his mouth bigger. Coming up. You said hit your mouth on it. Got a bomb dana coming up. Hey. You need to wear wraps. Yeah. I didn't wrap.

You guys are dangerous street fighters. Here's the thing. I had wraps, too, but they were like over there. You know, when you get there, and it's your first day of a new gym, but then the wraps, I'm like, I don't want to leave.

What's that? You left Diego's. I went to five-point Academy with Luis Lopez. I always have a Lopez around or else I won't, but he's good. He's great.

Funny guy. Yeah, Paco, are you boxing in Cabo? So we're bringing like seven pair of boxing gloves and I'm making all the employees fight each other. Yeah, just you know that there's an employee of yours that goes home and goes,

I have to fight. That's why he has to go to another country to do all this hijinks. So it's legal? Yeah. Are you making them fight on the beach? No, we have the villa. We're gonna...

You should make them fight in sand. That'd be funny. It's harder to fight. It's actually cool. The prilla in the villa. Put torches around it like Lionheart. Yeah. So they're in Iran.

All the locals come around. They have a phrase. And you go, fine. You don't know. What country is that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. There you go. And you go. And then you come out and you go, if you want a rich. Return to your homes. You'll win the tournament. When me and James were in...

Oh, they can't come back and then I win? When me and James were in Rome, we did gladiators raining. We went to, like, a mini coliseum, and they showed... They went through, like, an entire, like, tour of, like, what the gladiators did. Was it just so those creepy... Those Italian men could touch American women tourists? They were doing it. They were like, straight in your buck.

No, we did. It was so fun. But then we put on a show. Like, they had, like, the family's, like, they were like... Your wife has very... Two gladiators to fight. So me and James fought each other. and we had wooden swords

and we, I mean, we put on a fucking show and I remember like, you know, James was like, you know, I was letting him beat me. I was like, spinning around, right? And he was like seven, he was having so much fun. Yikes! Yikes! You did the guy doing it? But then I took sand from the floor and I threw it into his face

but there's no faking that. So he's like, ah. That's great though. Literally a scene from cable guy. Yeah. You know James? They said it would be funny if we went at it for a little bit. That is fun, though. Other families are probably like, why don't we have that much fun?

Yeah, no, they were like, literally, I feel like, they're good. We put on a real show. Probably you upset, you look upset. No, I'm fucking great, dude. I'm enjoying myself. Why do I look upset? I don't know.

The way you close the box, you kind of shruggy thing. I didn't want him to have another cookie. He doesn't want one. And as two fat guys, I know how that feels. I got another topic lined up whenever you're ready.

Nope, not ready yet. Another 15 minutes. We got, we got time. Pulling the threads on these topics. I hate that. What are you once excited for about the Mexico trip? Wearing clothes, I hope. The yacht seems pretty cool.

You should make Paco just wear a loincloth the whole week. That's fun. We haven't a yacht party. What's a yacht party? Party on a yacht. You got a yacht? Like you were walking onto a yacht. It's technically not a yacht.

I wanted a yacht, but we ended up... It's a skiff. We ended up pretty much a fishing boat from the local village. Sets three guys. No, it's a luxury catamaran because the yacht that we were going to get, it wasn't going to be, with this 20 of us, it's just a 70 foot, yeah, it wasn't going to be as comfortable as we wanted it today. You couldn't afford a dog of Moran?

Hello. Audio's fucked up today. We had a luxury catamaran. We're fucking, we're going to go snorkeling. We're going to just party on the boat all afternoon. How many trips do you go on a year? Do they just sneak up? Seriously.

That's not a, it's not a bad question you going on? No, I'm literally like, and I'm just telling you this because we do the show twice a month. It genuinely feels like every time we see you've either just came back or you're just going. I'm sorry guys I like to create memories from me and my I don't know what that means. My ladies. Me and my ladies love to have

memories. I'm sorry I have numerous lovers and I need to make forever memories with that. And you do that on the beach. You don't do that in the city. Well, all right. I do a gas digital retreat once. We do a father-son trip, just me and James. Those are like the two guaranteed every year.

family trip every year with like the family which is guaranteed and then so those are that and then then whatever ladies how many girlfriends do i have in a year they all got to go on at least one does each lady get her own trip what's the so like now the girls have gotten savvy to it so they're like no i'm not going to jamaica that's great because it's too you have too much of a paper girlfriend she was like we're not going to jamaica she was like turks and caco's bitch let's go my question to you is there's like so in jeopardy i think you have to win like five episodes of jeopardy before you go to the tournament of champions how long does a woman have to stay around for a trip

to a beach. This new girl was only we started planning on the trip like two months into the relationship. And Turks and Keko, she gets two vacations? Turks as well as Kekos? I'm not counting Pacco's laughing. Get out of here. Louis Laos. Paco doesn't count. He's lost his mind

and he's naked. So she's going on this trip too? No. She's not coming on the... No, no, no. We can't... He knows Paco would take her away. I would love to bring a bitch to the gas digital trip. The employees won't let me. they won't let you is their vote they don't they had to speak up

because they know if I bring a bitch that's all you're gonna bring a bitch and then we're gonna be away from the crew fucking our bitches while they're all fucking getting high on assed or whatever they did all having a fucking great time yeah we should do a regs

not fighting each other I told you I'm gonna do a body brain retreat and you guys are invited why don't we do regs we gotta go on a trip that's not yours actually you guys don't even listen to what you fucking say we don't say nothing more

so don't call me angry Dan's like, Let's do a body brain But also Perfectly cool, dude Way cooler than you are We got to do it. Regs and the wives

We can't do a trip that's Lewis's We have to do a trip that's all of us Are we going to wind up doing stupid I don't want to fight Joe on a beach Yeah I don't want to have fucking I don't have to do like a talent show We do a talent show

I know I know you do We don't want to do that We don't want Don rolling Tournament What is it? I don't want

FRIET Center tournament Oh yeah But I don't want Don rolling her off as I do by Steve Winwood. You think God's coming on a fucking trip? Take me. Don's not coming on a fucking trip with us.

We all bring our wives. Katie, Don, Karen. It'll be fun. No, it's not going to be fun. Bring Karen, but no, nobody else. Karen. We should all forego on a trip just us for. No.

I don't want to be away from my son with you guys. You want to bring your son on a trip? Yeah. He's funny. No, because you're going to have guys, quiet down. Ooh, James versus fucking Marty. On the beach, Boston. I love it.

Marty better start. He's dead. They have like a hundred and thirty pound weight different. Yeah, well, that sounds like an excuse to me. Yeah, all right, dude. UFC one, there's no weight class. Tell that to Tank Abbott. He was running through folks, no weight classes.

I don't think so. Maybe you and me can fight. Whoa. You fight a tag test. Hey, birthday coming up. Yeah. You got a birthday coming up in two weeks. Yeah.

Last year, fucking Lewis got a bunch of gifts and a cake. I got zilch. Yeah. What are you talking about? Bobby didn't get nothing. I think it's shit. You don't even know what my birthday is. We hit June.

September 19th, you assholes. Don't say confident. October 8th is the first day I did comedy. Is that your birthday, October 8th? Yeah. That's my comedy anniversary. Yeah. How about that?

You didn't know my fucking birthday? Jesus Christ. You were September though. No. Hold on. Let me see. Let me guess. July.

No. No. It's July. No. No. No one knows why. No, no. No, no.

No. No. No. No. June. No. June. June.

June. No. June 10th. June 11th, you fucking idiot. It's June 11th. Oh, we're gonna have a black barbecue for Dan's birthday. Yes, my brothers. Juneteenth celebration for Dan.

Wakanda forever. June 28th. Nope. June 26th. Nope. It's June 3rd, you fucking. You guys have not said it yet. June 11th.

I said June 11th. I said it after him. He doesn't know his fucking birthday. I love my birthday. None of you guys know my birthday. You're angry that you don't know your own birthday. They don't know my birthday. We don't know anyone's birthday.

I know his birthday. April 7th. No, that's not even right. April 8th. That's April 6th. That's wrong. April 19th. No, it's right up.

Your birthday, I know your, the only birthday I know here is yours. Mine's easy. Mine's a fucking. I know. That's why I remember. Easy peasy. And I know your son's birthday. Paco's birthday is fucking, um. Hotong, goll.

The year of the dragon, 48. I was just going to say, God damn it. You made you do it. His brother. He's his wind, the sunrise. Touches the river. Pago brought us chocolates from Hawaii. Hawaiian chocolate.

Also, uh, we did get. Just pineapple slices. Fucking asshole. We did give you a gift, Joe. We got two separate bags. Lewis just thought both were hit. Lewis took the bag. What is this Hawaiian chocolate?

They're really good. I want to think a bite. Vacation Lewis, dude. He's like Yogi Bear. He puts his fucking hand in a basket. Hey, boo-boo! I think we got some bagaroons. What are these macadamian nuts covered in chocolate?

Yeah, really good. Aloha Macs. Let me see. Aloha. Hawaiian host, genuine classic original since 19-19. 27. From Hawaii. Pacco, are you boxing on the beach?

Probably not. Paco's going to fuck everybody up. Are you bringing a mouth card? No. Paco, don't be an asshole. Paco's going to beat every... I saw Paco fight at Skankfist. I'll fuck Paco up.

Nobody said you... No, but out of your employees. Out of the employees, yeah. But I think Harrington's getting pretty good. What are we doing about the Harrington challenging Jamar neighbors? No, he's not. He's fighting Uncle Laser at Skankfest this year.

that seems is that the guy that uh that fought jason ellis that's official that's like they're definitely fighting i'm fighting cjbishop who's a canadian comedian who bring him up who tried to uh here's what happened he tried to he was just got like a guest pass for skankfest from like a friend he wasn't even performing then he went to shannon at the front desk and was like oh louis said i could have an artist pass so i go to the green room i like this guy already and then shannon called me she's like did you say c j bishop got an artist pass i was like no and I got like really mad because he lied and then he like hid for me for a day

and then I found him in the green room and I fucking chewed him out and then we brought him on Legion of Skanks and now he has to box me at Skank Fest on Friday and if he loses he has to do the naked roast in order to stay at Skank Fest. This is like fucking Hogan Savage. Yeah, that's all. You got lust in your eyes.

I don't know why I'm doing. You're taking the green room snacks. It's the biggest issue. Can we get another coffee? Brandon, you can go get the coffee. Are you kidding? He smokes a pack a day. He'll be back in two days.

Do you smoke a pack a day? I like that. I like you. Brandon's a man. He works hard. All right. Yeah. Really fucked us.

We had to fire people. I was like, let's fire Brandon. What does he do? Then everyone was like, he does so much work. I was like, oh, there you go. Remember, let's go, Brandon? Yeah. That was funny.

Why? Did you ask the employees if they want to fight? Yeah. Paco, what did I say in the group chat? I said, yeah, we're going to do a boxing class in the morning. but if anybody wants to spar, you have to bring mouth cards. But you're making it sound like this isn't a spar.

You're making it sound like a tournament. You got to fight. No, I mean, a tournament sounds like a great idea. I never thought about that. I mean, what are you doing? Russell me for.

Dude, let's fucking... All right. Yeah, Paco is one of the more skilled boxers that's coming on the trip. Yeah, I'll text you it. I'll do the same thing that I had, but it's small.

I want Paco naked. Did you get cookies without chocolate chips in them. Pacco, can you be naked every show from now the place? What is that?

Did you say, no thank you? You're a little cutie? He's so cute. They're like cute little bum. Paco's, Paco's the man. Paco's funny.

He is personable. He works hard. I like Danny. Danny's his ego. It's like it doesn't allow him to work hard. It's hard as he works hard. No.

Then he shows up first and he's always outlast and he has put all the cameras together. All the microphones. All this is Danny. Yes, he makes me genuinely socially

uncomfortable, but he does do I'm talking about like in life beyond. Yeah, he's disgusting. But for the show, he works his ass off. Maybe. Not maybe, it's a fact. He does all this.

And then Paco gets coffee. And Danny's a comedian. Very funny. Paco's a comedian too. Danny's very funny. I've never seen Paco. Paco's funny. He just over for me at the pussycat.

He's very funny. He tried to eat it. I keep hearing about this pussy. Where? I'm hearing you. He's got a name. Yeah, I'm getting it in his neck with a fucking... Rez...

Excuse me, Rez. Where is this pussy cat that ever want to be? Where is this a fat of a pussy cat? Where is this a fat of Barack a pussy cat? Who's ready for my topic? It's going to be big. We still got a... Eight minutes.

I know, but we'll go other places. You see the new sign, the cellar, the theater? Yeah, they put it in. There's a cellar theater now? Yeah, we're the old McDonald's. They bought McDonald's on the corner, and they made it into a theater, almost like Rogan's type of theater with the balcony.

They said they've got to repass everyone that's ever been passed. Everybody's got a re-audition. Bring it everyone back. No, sir. I don't get to know. I'm fucking performing at this fucking shithole. Fuck the seller. Fuck their new theater.

I don't give a shit. Fuck the seller. Fuck the buyer. We just put an offer in on a comedy club. Where? Whoa. Take you off here in New York City. You're going to open a comedy club?

If everything goes through. This is going to be called Lewis's extravagance. We're doing the due diligence process right now. What does that mean? Meaning that we're a, having like inspectors come in and we're meeting with the landlord. You're inspectors. Is this Mike Harrington with just a clipboard?

He goes, yeah. The guy goes, you don't know what you're looking at. He goes, no. I have to fight another man in order to eat. Do you have a name for it already? Yeah. You already have the name. Yeah, oh yeah.

What is it? I've said it on the show, but I don't. I know what it is. Laughing gas. Nope. What? Gas Digital. I get it.

Laughing gas digital. It's me, Rebecca and Christine. Bad ass comedy. Club? Tits, Puss, and a little dick club. Is that not it? Is that a bad jazz? A little dick club.

What is it? What's it called? I'll tell you guys off air. No, I want it on air. Oh, is it the name of the company that pays the company there? No. Is it angelic?

God damn it. Is it the name of your book? No. Knives and Spoon's Comedy Club? Does it have comedy in there or are you fucking up? There's no comedy in there. Can you do, when you buy the club? Can your drink menu be named after comics we know that are dead?

Like the Patrice O'Neill bucket of beers? Just going to be a bucket of wings. Yeah, bucket of wings. Or the Mike Di Stefano fucking... AIDS medication. AIDS cocktail. We call the A-Z-T. Yeah, it's the AIDS cocktail.

It's just a bunch of different stuff mixed. Zachomico nachos? That's great. Just alive, dude. Yeah, but then you get it. It works in life and death. You got to print these up early. I don't know.

These menus are sons of bitches to make, but AI might make it easier. I have a drink called the Duffield. Double stroke, the Keith Robinson. Oh, yeah, the Keith, where they go, we put two shots of Hennessy at that one. He goes, and it's terrific. It's going to make you talk like this. It makes you talk out of the side of your mouth. You're going to lose your left.

Your right hand is not a good work. I fucked up. Yeah. The big J shot where you do three shots of tequila, but you wear a fingerless gloves and then they move your head around. Yeah, the big J, we have to take three shots to keel and pound two white clothes just to hang up with your friend. Yeah. Or now you can't leave. I like this idea.

Let me come through and make some different kind of frown. You guys are all the regulars. This is a part of our business plan. We've been using your names. Oh, cool. My business manager goes, hey, I got you flagged for a pretty big ding on your credit. What's that?

Do you own tits, puss, and a little dick club? Son of a bitch, that is the name. Oh, son of a bitch. I'll pop in when I come up. Yeah, you will. From where are you going to come up from? Texas. You're not going to Texas.

He keeps threatening to move to Texas. He's not going to Texas. He's fucking staying right here. You're going to Dobbs Ferry with fucking Dan. Okay. It's us moving up to Dobbs Ferry. Oh, I thought you were doing. Let's go, girl.

Let's go, Joe. Let's go, and out tonight. Moving up the day. It'd be funny if Lewis makes us audition for him. Yeah. All right, and next, your name? I go, Lewis, please don't do this. Lewis is your name?

In a bigger chair than everyone else has. It's just Christine. If you can't make her laugh, you're not in. He goes, you know what that is? That means you're in. I'm going. Both of the Common Club owners have the worst laughs in comedy. That's Rebecca.

Something like that. I've been away about it. There's usually a hiccup in between it. Where is... Where is Wednesday? Lush. When is the... Are you aiming for 2027, 2028?

2026. Oh, it's already built out. We're taking it over. We're going to... Taking it over. So it's a pre-existing condition. You know what? We're not talking anymore about it.

Hey, I think I don't know which one is. He won't even tell you. I know one that's in a real bad place. It probably needs to get bought. Parking's real hard. I'm telling you. No one's coming to the east side anymore. Wait, you're getting the village lantern?

Yeah. That's fun. I hope you do it. Yeah, we'll see. You guys want to do plugs? Let's plug it up. We'll do Joe's next up. Plug it up.

Hey guys, I'm Joe List. I got a great new topic. Why do you get first? Because they pulled it up. Look at that. Bang. I'm in the Dania Beach Impro. Fort Lauderdale Impress.

It has four different names. Miami Improv, Fort Lauderdale Improv. Daniel Beach. Daniel Beach. Okay. Well, it's fucking 45 minutes from Miami. Half hour from Miami. Whatever it is.

Same area. Miami has its improv. Oh, okay. Well, the fort. Flying to Fort Lauderdale. Fought Lauderdale. I'm flying to Fort Lauderdale. I'm going to the Miami Open.

It doesn't fucking matter. I'll be all over there. Anyways, Fort Lauderdale Improv, March 16th through the 28th. I'm doing a little Ohio run. Warren, Ohio, which is basically Youngstown, then Perrysburg, which is Toledo, and Columbus, Ohio. That's April 9, 10, 11. That'll be a fun little run. Then, of course, Providence, Patriots Day weekend, Providence, Connecett.

Get those tickets. That's going to sell out. April 16th. 17th, that's Sarah's birthday, come out for that, April 18th. And then the Hollywood Improv, May 7th, one night only, one show, Hollywood Improv. Netflix. Yeah, the Netflix Festival. You got to be out there? Somebody else's going to be doing little story wars out there.

Where? Get me in there. May 7th, and then also May 5th, we're doing a Tuesdays with stories of the improv. May 7th, I'm just doing a headlining show, and then, of course, the big Europe. Punchup.com, punchup live.com slash show list. Please sign up from my email list. It's the best way to know when I'm coming to your town and get tickets. Come see me on the road, guys.

The Rattle Me This Tour, coming to a city near you. When does this come out? This comes out next week. I got it. I got it. I got it. So come see me. They're not pulling it up.

Does it not work here? Yeah. What does it not fucking work here? It's so irritating. Toronto, I'll be March 27th and 28th. Right after that, I am in Detroit, Michigan. that is April 10th and 11th. Morris Plains, New Jersey for a one-nighter, St. Catherine's, Ontario, Canada, Fort Myers, Florida, Springfield, Missouri, Tulsa, Oklahoma, City.

All these are all of my first time going to those places. Rosemont's coming up to summer, Chicago, La Jolla, California. Very excited about all of these shows, guys. Go to my website, Lewis of Skanks.com. Sign up from my mailing list where you can get a bonus podcast that I do every week, plus a bunch of insight information about all the things in the world of gas digital and Skank Fest and BodyBring Coffee and all that, stuff. Buy my book right now, Knives and Spoons, the number one new release on comedy on Amazon, number fifth, the fifth bestselling book, comedy book on Amazon as well, just in general.

Damn, girl. Hell yeah, dude. I mean, sure it's like fucking dad jokes and fucking like, yeah. Shilly that. But yeah, grab my book, Knives and Spoons, and check out all the other pods that I do. The Real Last podcast, Legion of Skanks, Story Wars. And, yeah, Story Wars lives coming up as well. Netflix is a joke. Nashville Comedy Festival. We're going to be in, Austin on May 21st as well. So lots of fun story wars, live dates coming up. And thank you for supporting me and everything we do.

Oh, and subscribe to Gas Digital. If you like the show, we do a pre-release, uncensored, ad-free version, all available on gasdigital.com. Use the promo code regs, R-EGZ. You see, have a couple bucks a month to support the show directly. Which I think Gas Digital owes us a bunch of money for subscriptions. That's a cool thing to hear. That is great to hear.

Long Island, New York. I will be in Huntington at the Paramount Theater, April 4th. added a late show 9.30 p.m. show tickets available. Dan Soda.com. Then I'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Munhall, Pennsylvania. They try to call that Pittsburgh, but we know it's not. The Agora Theater in Cleveland, Columbus, Ohio, at the Southern Theater. And then Netflix is a joke. I'll be there May 7, May 6th, doing a movie watch along with Tim Dillon. That'll be very fun. And I'll probably be on a bunch of other shit at the Netflix is a joke festival in May in Los Angeles. Dan Soder.com for all dates.

We just put Omaha Funny Bone up there. I'm excited to go there. One last quick run of the hour before I tape. And also coming soon, an announcement on a special taping in June. Dan Soder.com, listen to Soter and subscribe to my YouTube. Thank you very much. I love you. Robert Kelly. What's up, everybody?

Go to punchup.com. Live slash Robert Kelly. I'm in Point Pleasant on the 24th and 25th at Uncle Vins. I got a one night only at Stanford, Connecticut. at New York Comedy Club on May 21st. So make sure you check out them there, one show. And then I'm going to Levitown. Oh, in April, I'm going to Comics Roadhouse, the 17th and 18th.

But make sure you go check. I'm going to, I'm going back down to New Orleans. I'm going to do New Orleans, May 22nd at the Howling Wolf. And then the 23rd, I'm in Mobile, Alabama at the Crescent Theater. And then, of course, 4th of July. weekend. I need you to go buy the tickets at the mothership because I want fans there. It's going to sell out. So it's a third,

fourth, and fifth, I'll be at the mothership. Punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly and make sure you check out YKWD and all that shit and the bonfire and everything else. And everybody's on their phones, on Twitter. Topic time. Well, let's ease into it. Let's just not go right

into it. Jesus Christ, kiss me. Can I do anything? Just throw it right in. Can I, you know? He's just fucking... Well, I've been talking about it for an hour and ten minutes. All right. You want a date?

Do you fucking talk for an hour and ten minutes? Yeah. That's a great day. It's a way to ease into it. You just... I go, wow, this is really a good date. We've been... Oh, look who's in vacay mode.

Yeah. Nomma, nama, nama. You see, you can't leave... Nama, nama, n m m... Louis isn't going to get fat. So fat. It makes a go. Nama, nama, nama, n m...

Nnam. You have to send video AI videos to your girlfriend for two weeks until you get your body back. She met me my fattest. Did she really? She met me right after Thanksgiving. Damn, I was just, I mean, it was like, literally.

It wasn't your fattest. Yeah, it was. Yeah, weeks after Skank Fest and then Thanksgiving. Turkey deals. She went, yeah, look at this specimen. You were, hi, what are you doing? She goes, yeah, I'm just admiring how big you are and shit. Yeah, do you fucking get, yeah, you fucking lose weight?

That's exactly what you just sounds like. She goes, yeah, this fucking fat-ass, Maxx. again. Look at him. Couldn't even fit the towel. Yeah. How many tamales have you been eating? Joe's folding plastic because he's waiting to get to his topic.

Joe, you just want to get right into it. What's your topic, Joe? What's your topic? Off the leash. This is what I do when I let Myrtle off in the hallway. Take the thing off and go, quiet. You guys are going to erupt in excitement, conversation. This is going to be, there's going to be algorithm, the whole thing.

Can I get my jacket, please? Are you leaving? I'm going to be that I want an ultra I have the ultras yeah they're great Ultra Yeah

Ultras It's like having a body brain In your lip It's like yeah It was Alpha GPC So it's a new trophy PC 1742 Alpha Omega It's uh

It's a Jay Zip right Double Duck On a Paco's a JZip right Double it up Uh Uh That John Grun video Still

Oh my ha John Gruden and Rich Gannon Love you Gannon That's what Matt Wayne and I say Every time we Part ways now I love you Gannon I had a good one bro

I was I had a good one bro What is it? What is it? Bigger Purnoff Deal breaker Hairy armpits

Or hairy legs Hair legs Hair legs I'll do hairy armpits Is a choice Like that fucking little piggy's make Sometimes

And I like it I kind of like it too I kind of like it See we're all in agreement Well, yeah, we talked about this in the bonfire, and Jay was like, it's disgusting. I don't mind it. And then you try to try it, and then Jay just kept going.

You're right, it's the decision. Arm pits are the decision. No, he literally went, no, you don't. And I was like, yes, I do. What, he said not armpits? I don't mind. But by the way, this is what happened. I mean, I pushed back.

He said, no one likes milk with dinner, and I was like, a lot of people like milk with it. I love a nice tall glass of organic whole milk. Oh, I like milk with fucking. Spaghetti. Dude, spaghetti. Yeah. Oh, it's so good.

You know what? It took, you know what it took? It took us bringing Shane in for Shane to go, shut the fuck up, Jay. I love milk. And then Jay was like, this many people like milk? Milk is great. It's great. It's great.

Milk is, dude, specifically organic, whole milk. It's got to be whole milk. Whole milk. I love whole milk. Yeah. I will be a nasty little bitch and have 2% too once in a while. I hate that. For my cereal.

No, no, I like whole milk. Dude, peanut butter, jelly sandwich. Oh, whole milk. You're trying to get slapped? You try to get slapped right now? You can put potato chips on that and have me come over there and kiss you? I told you. Armip hair, leg hair was gonna be big.

Whole milk with meatballs. We're not even talking about armpit legate. That's a joke, you fuck. Lazzania. Lazzania. When I have spaghetti and meatballs with a big glass of old, whole milk. What are you trying to make it move? Anyways, Joe, no one is grossed out by either.

We're men and we just like plus. Leg hair. No, people are grossed out. We're talking about grossed up by leg hair. Leg hair, it just feels like you're like you're just a fucking. That's a dude. You're a slob. That's a dude.

No, it's never like a long. I'm talking about when it's like... It's like prickly. Prickly. No, no, we're like letting it grow out. This is the thing that's happening. Brod hair. No, grown out leg hair?

No, no. I say no to you. Why are you doing it? Well, this was divisive at the stand green room the other day. There's some people that prefer to take the leg hair over the armpit. Have you been with a girl with armpit hair? No. I have.

You can grab onto it. Really? Back in your day? That was really rare. Yeah. No, that was actually how the way they did it. What? Back in my day, everyone...

He was there when they were burning their bras at that college. Yeah. Donald Freebled. Ugh. Why did they get a mumble? This is how we die. Everybody got weird. The armpit air is not a bad.

The armpit air, it's like, they're like, hey, I'm trying to be a dirty hippie bitch, which I kind of like in a weird way. Sometimes when they don't have it shaved, it's like they got detective scruff on their armpit? You're like, you? No, I don't like that. I'm not talking scruff. I'm talking fucking armpit hair. I don't like the scruff. If it's scruff, it's hair kind of, I go.

Paco, what do you think? I go. You like armpit hair? Both of them, I go. armpit hair or leg hair? What do you say? He's got to choose one. He's a hairless Filipino.

He can't understand. Yeah, no woman he's haven't been with. You'd pick leg hair. That's a very Asian thing for you to say. Where's mine? I asked for a small. Well, he didn't get one. That's not small.

That's medium. Yeah, that's medium. I like forceful, Dan. Well, it ain't happening. I like it. Good. Spross yourself. Okay.

So move to Texas. Is that what he said? Yeah. Damn it. I knew Alan was behind this. I said, all, everyone's going to be... Is that your fucking topic? Everyone's going to be really upset. And he goes, that's because they love you.

They don't know how to express themselves. That is true, though. It's very true. We're going to be upset for two days. I think I could move and no one would even know. No, we would know. No, because we would go, we'd do the podcast. Then you go, hey, can you do two weeks from today?

And I'd be like, oh, fuck, you know what? I'm out of town. Oh, okay. I'm in Austin that week. You should try it. That's what Nate did with L.A. He was living in Nashville and just pretended he lived in L.A. He told everybody not to tell anybody.

Yeah, I know. He's like, so don't tell anybody. Better not tell him. I have a plan. This is going to end with me making $100 million. We all left. Here we go. Oh, you simple Southern fool.

And I tell you, I remember distinctly us, at least us, and maybe Jay, I don't think you were there. And we had, somehow the topic, we were at your house, and the topic that Nate was spending $3,000 a month on social media. And we were all like, bah! I remember that. I do remember that. Like we were all like,

what a fucking idiot. I would have done it for free. I just post my own show. Hey, look at this. I was posted. I saved $3,000. It's like,

hey, did you know that you can actually rant out museums or shows? We were like chest bumping and high-fiving. I'm doing the retard. Passing the bog, the fucking Mountain Dew bottle bonn around.

I'd be like, he's paying a guy to do a social pain. True story. I remember I talked Lewis out of moving to LA with Nate. yeah and by the way Nate would have just left you immediately you do and realize no I would have went clean

oh my God Louis be like you know it's crazy is when a woman's vagina gets very when you just take it without a permission I mean why do I have to ask I guess I'll like it dude I like it you're doing jokes but you're doing them clean

I like you that's what I would do when I would open for Nate I would just like do the same jokes but I was omit the word word fuck. The exact moment I found out I couldn't open for Nate was at it just for laughs. And he was like, come open for me. And we're in the van on the way over there.

And he's like, you can't cuss. And I was like, what about shit? And he goes, come on, man. And I went, all right. And at the time I had this joke where I called crying face coming. And I went, hey, I do this joke about crying, but I call it face coming. And he goes, yeah, you can just hang out if you want. It didn't even go off.

I was just like, yeah, fine. Yeah. Well, yeah, sure. Nate was right. fine fine right it was right about it was right he nailed it yep i was right about making him my son's godfather i mean beautiful timing good play you know because honestly out of the bed of everyone at that time nate was uh he was an outlier yeah audrey against it no no no i we always knew nate was going to be successful i don't know oh i thought he was going to be this successful is crazy

but also like i thought he was going to top it you there's no rhyme or reason like i can't tell you Nate or Shane got, like, they're both hilarious, obviously. Generational talent. I think literally everyone in this room is fucking hilarious. As hilarious as those guys, right? Everyone? Well, I mean, no.

It's, I think it's different with Nate and Shane. I think both those guys you watch and go like. No, I really, stand-up wise, I think that all three of you are as funny as Nate or Shane, right? And if somebody said they liked any of your stand-up as much or more than them, I wouldn't go, what? Like, that's not crazy at all. Like, in any sense.

If you especially think back to, like, the clubs, I can't put my, and they're, but you guys are elite world-class comics. Like, this isn't like, we're talking about the funniest people on the fucking planet here, right? There's, there's no rhyme. Got a lot going on. Byatt Shane over. Holy shit. My lying frog.

Yeah, you got, fucking, got a lot of traffic on that highway. Lion frog jumped up. He goes, anyways, you guys are elite comics. You guys are elite comics. I had a witch doctor put a spell on me where I throw up every time I lie. No, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm not.

I agree where it's funny, but I will be at the funny farm in Warren, Ohio on a Wednesday. Coming up. Shout out. Paperly. But there's no, I can't, and I'm pretty good at, like, judging talent. I feel like I've always been really good at, like, surrounding my stuff with very funny people. I can't put my finger on why there is such a gap between guys like Shane and Nate and any of you guys. I mean, we're talking about, like, I think the gap is crazy because I think you get the gap.

You're noted I gave my rates I'm at Uncle Vinnie's I get it Move on No you don't understand In science A lot of the times

Distance isn't really Shown in its truth Now a light ear Now you know You see the visualization Where they go like This is Arno One million days ago

Is like 1960 Yeah And one billion days ago Is before Jesus Yeah So we're talking Billions Between Nate and them

It's the difference between a million dollars and a billion dollars is like 30 years. Yeah, they, Nate and, I think the difference is, is Nate and Shane are both universally loved in the way that you're talking about. Whereas we all have fans and that can grow and subtract, you can like go like, those guys are just like,

anytime people see them, they're the fucking best. No, but I think you guys all have the same universe. Like, I don't have universal appeal. Like, I'm a fucking shit. Yeah, but you know what, you are your blue cheese? You have universal appeal. Your blue cheese. People are like, I'm not eating rotten cheese.

And then they go. You're blue cheese. You smelling. You're not funny. You stink. Only the French like you. But then there are, but then people go,

oh man. I fucking love that. It's good on wings. Yeah, I fucking love that shit. Nate's American cheese. It's just like, it's not even real cheese,

but it's fucking the best. It's so good on everything. Yeah, it's just people fucking love them. I mean, like, you know, I think if you look at them in different ways, I think Shane's are

generations Adam Sandler. where people are just like, oh my God, I fucking love that guy. Well, someone has to fill that hole every 10, 15 years. Yeah. You know, but if you look at all of us, we all are crazy successful. We all have homes and family. Zero complaints. Yeah.

Sure. I mean, you do if, dude, you literally did your life. You did Dave's last episode of Legion of Skanks at your beautiful home in New Jersey that you own. We all thought you were going to be dead. You're going on your sixth vacation. We thought you were going to be referred to as Jay. scummy friend that died real quick. I've said every word you're not supposed to say and I have

a lot of money. You stormed the beaches of comedy, Normandy, and survived. What a lot of good soldiers died on those beaches. He did. So you can't say. I'm not complaining at all. Look, there can only be a handful of guys that are making that type of money, right?

But I'm just saying what I don't really get. I'll just take you. Forget everyone else, right? I don't want to be forgotten. What the fuck? What the fuck? Right here. Just had us in for shits and giggles. But that's, that's, That's where I'm performing next week in Tampa. You know, like you, you have universal appeal like Shane or Nate.

I think less than that. I'm just, I don't, it's not even a knock on you or not, it's not a knock on them. It just seems kind of almost arbitrary and random. Like, where the gap, like being. I can tell you, I think they're much more, they're confident where I'm not. And also, I think I'm annoying when they're not. I think they know timing and winda. I think I'm desperate for approval.

Shane did a lot of stuff writing sketches. He's very good at all. He's done a lot of it. Nate just went full. Nate's pure stand-up one of the best of all times. The clean thing was a big part of Nate and his appeal. But also there's a lot of clean comics. But people keep forgetting this.

And I think even Nate forgets this. The appeal of Nate was never that he was clean. It was like a nutritional benefit that you found out after the fact. You would watch them and you go, guys fucking hilarious. And then you go, you know, he didn't cuss and people would be like, oh, I guess he didn't cuss.

But he can also be presented in front of more people. You know, like, do skank fast. Serious satellite. Yeah. You can't, I can't get on this channel because of my jokes.

Exactly. If I wrote an act that was clean and I would make way more money. Best example, late night shows. Nate would do them all the time and Nate would tell me, well, it's so easy for me

because all I have to do is, I'd just take two of my jokes and I can just do them on late night. Yeah. You guys have to find a new way to say, You have the new way, and it waters it you down. It changes you do it.

You're changed. It's like, someone gave me the example once of, they never make bands do that on late night. They never, like, change your lyrics. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they do. Yeah, the doors famously. But they just have a different song.

No, but then they edit it. But then they said it anyway. Didn't say higher. But they edit it in a way. And in the movie, he like, he really. Hi. Oh, look right at the camera. But I feel like I haven't seen them change, like, take out a whole chunk of a song.

They just change a word. Well, you make more money if you're clean. Sure. Because you can be on anything. But also, we're leaving out there is also great fortune that happens. Luck. Luck is a place. How does Jimmy found out of love, fell in love with Nate and gave him opportunity?

I mean, that was crazy. You guys remember that? People are like, that story's crazy. It was like saved by the bell with the guys jogging by with a band. That's a play. That sounds good. It really is the exact same thing as that. If two billion people were able to see you live,

they would all leave going, oh my God, that guy's amazing. Yeah. So I think Nate, first of all, these guys are obviously great comment. That goes without say. No, yeah, but Nate, all my friends are fucking elite. Nate was episode one of season one of the stand-ups. They pushed that algorithm was much bigger. It was much less watered down.

So, like, that helped him. It's very funny that you're saying that to a guy that was also on season one of the stand-ups on Netflix. He was on episode one. Oh, yeah, yeah. So it was the first one when you hit play. Nothing for it. I know. I did season two.

It did nothing for you. DeGenerate's season one, they got paid more. It hit harder. Season two, we got paid a quarter of it. I'm just running to get to the Manosphere documentary. Louis Thoreau. I hate women. Let's go.

Louis Thoreau goes, I don't see why I would talk to you. I go, no, I say bad shit. No, you understand. He goes, no, I know, but you have awareness of it. Well, yeah. That's my new thing is I'm going to become part of the Manosphere. That's great. Yeah, dude, HS Tiki-Toki on skis.

Did you ever think that maybe? that the reason why we all didn't explode like Dane or Shane or whatever is something we've done in our past. Like past lives? Like the universe is just like, no, you don't get it because of this. I think, yeah, probably. You ever think of that? Well, you've seen people in comedy that you're like,

oh, you want it too bad. And you go, like, stop. If you wanted it less, it would probably get you. Yeah. But I also think, like, the one that always blew my mind, what you're exactly what you're talking about is, I think Big J is 50,000 times funnier than Kevin Hart. Yeah, but I can name why Big J doesn't have mainstream.

Because, yeah, we can name you. Standing next to you. Oh, come on. No, it's part of the reason why I'll never have mainstream success like that. We said all the shit you're not supposed to say. Like all those words, you're not supposed to say, that will fucking want you. Words like, things like Shane also said. No, Shane never said.

I wouldn't even put that in the same realm as that. Shane. You're talking about a guy that had a cigarette when he was drunk. We're talking about Lewis that smoked three packs a day inside with the baby. But you're seeing my point. Shubbing into the baby skulls. What the fuck up. Yeah.

But you can see the point. You can also blow up despite saying things that you're never supposed to say. I mean, Shane and Nate are very much opposites in their. Once you're in that algorithm of those guys do this shit, the industry keeps you in there. And also, Jay, yeah, Jay is literally, in terms of. funny human beings. I mean, the funniest human being I've ever met. He really.

He really is. True, pure, funny. He is the funniest person ever made. Or Jay didn't want to, number one, Jay never wanted to work like those guys worked. Like, those guys fucking work their fucking asses. Nate and Shane work their dick's off. And Nate's never been off the road for a minute.

Yeah. Oh, Jay's on the road every weekend now because he has to be. But I'm saying like, yeah. Like, I'm going to retire from comedy in a year. Is that, that's not going to happen. We should put a counter. We should hold. I think Jay right now is making a run.

I think Jay's last couple years. No, Jay has a dream job. He makes millions of dollars saying anything he's ever wanted to say. He doesn't make sure. Doing whatever he wants. Doing whatever he wants. Just shows up and just talk shit to the crowd. I think we should put a timer on Nate's retirement.

You know, like the doomsday clock? There is a difference between making millions of dollars and then flying first class, doing arenas and making that type of money. You mean flying private. You're flying private. Yeah, exactly. Like there's a, there's a different. I find first class,

whenever the update me. Just get a plane. I'm hoping Delta bumps me tomorrow on my way to Dallas. Get bumped? I get bumped a lot. Yeah. I get, but when I don't,

I get a little. I look at the price. I look at the price because day of, you get like $250, $300 sometimes. I just get, I get a little like, when I stay in comfort plus and they don't bump me. Did you ever see where it's like the upgrade list?

You're number two and I'm getting it. And then you look just before you born, it's like 17 people in front of you. Yeah. And then you just... So they took away my Premier 1K status. I don't know how. United?

Yeah, they changed it. So it used to be like a Miles flown. Now they went to dollar spent. So now I'm only Premier, right? Premier platinum. So I don't get to get pre-boarding anymore. But I'll tell you right now. You fake your service?

No, no. I just pre-bored with 1K and they've never said anything ever. They're like 1K. They don't look. They don't give a fuck. And then when I'm not on United, now I fake being retarded. Nice. I'm like, duh.

Or just wear a camo hat and board with the soldiers. The unit's shift soldier ID. I travel with a knee brace. And then I kais as soze it when I get off the planet. I travel with a girl that has braces. She goes, Mr. Please. They made, Mr. Please, I don't want to leave with you. He left.

I left. I left. I left. I left. We just Lois-Lained him. He was falling from the building. It must have been a real quiet. He was on our message of it.

Don't worry, buddy. Have a voice for that. Joe just didn't like it because it was about braces. Sorry. Hey, don't apologize to me. I'm sorry. James's getting braces next week. Is he really?

Is he? Is he? Is there? Are his teeth bad? Not bad, but they're a little crooked. I think Max is going to have to get him, too. Really? Yeah. Did you guys all have braces? I never had braces in my life. I never had a braces in my life.

I never had a breath. You have great teeth. I have fantastic. I have a gap, but I didn't. I found it enduring. You have no braces? During or endearing. Enduring.

Deering. I endured it. We endured. Huge fuck up. We endure you. Huge, huge. Huge. You had braces?

No, look at those. Jesus Christ. Jesus and invisible lines. He took him off and he went. The orthodontas took him off and went, I don't know, I'll probably see you again in 15. Did your dentist have hand braces? All right.

What? All right. That upset me. Holy shit. Honestly, that felt like I got shot and it took me a moment to process it. It went, oh. Hand hurt my eye. I feel cold.

Everybody said I saw Danny's shit. Yeah. How bad were your teeth if you had a moment? braces and invisible line and this is what they came out to be. Jesus Christ. Oh, now he's getting mad. Oh, he's getting mad. I don't like that he gets mad.

He's getting mad now. He's not right. I don't like it. Listen, there's a difference between you're mad and his mad. Yeah, I was, his teeth have hooked together. He can't open his mouth.

Mine was trapped under ice for 41 years. Yeah, I know. And now it's released. Yeah, but your head, you can. Oh. What did you say? So anyway, how about where your teeth? I don't get mad.

I get even. I want to pour my coffee on you. I break even in common. What your teeth are even? They are even. Look at this. Perfect. They're better.

That's great. You're back. We're back. But please tie the big dinner round. But please do fly the band. If I had to get braces when I was a kid, there was no. There was no giving braces. We were so broke.

You're so broke were you? So broke. Go ahead. You're an owner of a club. We were so broke. We were broke. Well, not yet. But it's coming.

Oh, God. Hey, look at that paperwork check out. We're all going to have to do this club. Yes, I'm excited, though. It's too far. It's a little too far. Damn, dude. Joe's at the mother.

Joe got beamed up by the mothership. First of all, it's not too far at all for you. I love to talk to Esty. See if I can do it. I hear that you are dealing with Louis J. Gomez who owns Tits posse in a little bit of them. And please avoid cancellation. Please avoid booking sets at Tits.

I just went back to the cellar for the first time I'm there Saturday night for the first time. I was there Monday and I had two okay sets. Me and Jay are doing a new joke night on Monday night. Son of a bitch. Why don't you come down and do it? All right. Wow, you just drew a blank trying to think of a reason not.

No, because I was supposed to phone tires and they moved it. So there you go. There's your fucking blank, pussy. Bobby's a fan of this because Bobby talks about how much he loves is Lucy Breakers. They make the best nicotine pouches out there. Pop and a Lucy breaker, crack open the capsule inside for a wave of flavor. Lucy's nicotine strengths range from 2 to 12 milligrams with options like apple ice, espresso, berries, citrus, and mango.

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All right, guys, let's take a quick moment. I thank G-L-D for supporting the show. G-L-D makes high-quality pieces at amazing prices. This is jewelry for men, women, children. I gave my son a Cuban link chain. He looks like a fucking pimp now, which is incredible. It's legit jewelry.

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off. Don't forget, after you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them we set you the regs. At least Joe puts me in his movies. That's right chain. I don't want to do tires. I'm in Joe List movies.

Part of the Joe's sphere. Yeah, you are in the Joe's. He's the only one that's ever helped your career? Yeah, Bobby did Tyres. What do you just hear? Will you just hear things? Yeah. I was on set the next day.

You've helped my career. You've helped my career. Thank you. I wrote a show with you and we got to meet with the Rocks production company. Dan has done nothing. Didn't help my career at all. Dan hasn't helped any of us.

Dan helps himself. I built a radio show that you have a job. job at right now. Yeah, that's fucking, I fucking came and gave you all-time episodes of Leach and Skanks whenever you need me. I'm out of the full pen. I'm so funny that my funny has helped you guys just by me being funny. We've helped each other. I thought that was

a whole thing. He fell in your shoes hurt my career. Sorry, they were so big. Pommies never gotten more online. I just took, I didn't take your job. Actually, I handed it to and I went, oh no, it's, it's hurting them. It's like they act like I kicked you out for some reason.

Is that how you value your friendship? Who's the most Yes. Valuable do you? Yes. No. Instead of just being their friends? I'm naming, this, you're here.

We're just waiting for a problem. I said, you've helped me. Yeah. You've helped me. And that's all I said. Stopped. And you know what? You've helped me.

And you've helped me. I'm happy to help. Well, then, Joe. At this moment, I announced my retirement from the regs. I haven't helped. He thinks just him being yours. Oh, I didn't say that. This is the cockiness.

I'm saying my opinion. This is why you're not where Shane's. You are going to get Dan to quit. Stop. You're hurting my feelings. Thanks. That's what the fans think. Yeah.

Dan's gonna quit. It's gonna be your fucking fault. What? Dan's gonna quit and it's gonna be your fault. What? Then we're gonna have fucking stupid Danny Brough in his seat with a fishbowl on his head. I'm honestly. Danny.

That would kind of rule. Dan. Not Danny. I apologize. Dan. When you have your new show that comes out, you're gonna give us all part. Yeah, you give us speaking rules. Why?

You guys aren't. What? You guys aren't. What are you fuck? But I'm snuff. Snuff. Give me a voice. Give me a motion.

Put me in a snuff film. Just kill me. Put me in that. Fuck me. Kill me. I don't give a shit. Fuck me. Then you wouldn't fucking put a...

No, of course. I'm going to find shit for you guys. It's a cartoon. Yeah, I have a great... I can be a great voiceover guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What was your voice? Oh. There we go. And then this is... That's what I'm going to say. Fox goes... Oh, boy. Mark the time.

Don't miss that. They will miss it. They'll ruin my fucking. in life because they're pieces of shit. Go subscribe to Gas Digital to find out what I just said. I can do them. I can do. Hey, hey. That's good.

We're not going to make you go out of you. What is it? Is the pro wrestling cartoon? Is there an Asian character? Because I can do that. All right now. What's the cartoon about? I don't want to give it away because every time I've talked about something and it gets killed, it hurts me.

What type of character could I be? It takes place at a bar. So we'll find... I can be a patron. Hey, I can be somebody's angry. baby. Hey, Ma, get me the hell out of here.

What the fuck going on? No. That's very good. Mom, listen. I need a bottle. Put your tit on my mouth. We'll find stuff. I can get guys like,

let me get a double of whiskey. That's it. There you go. I can do this. I genuinely think I will give you that role. Yeah. I'll take a double. You just cast yourself.

By the way? Very well, time. I can be a bartender like a woman bartender. Same voice. Hey, what the hell's going on? The bartender's a main character. Bartender's a big character. It's a baby bartender.

You're not hearing it. That's a fucking great idea. Do make a baby bartender. I'm going to change the whole show. Hey, I can't grab the whiskey. Watch St. Germain have an aneurysm. I go, I change the show on the regs. It's like, what the hell are you talking about?

Why are you doing that? Starts bleeding. Why don't you fucking change everything? It's an Asian guy and angry. Is there an eagle? You can't do voices. You can do sounds. You're not a voice guy.

I'm going to bring him in from soundboard. How about it all? If you bring him in, everyone's going to soundboard listening to the show. What? How about an old gunslinger? He's all from the old West. Sure. I'll get a double a whiskey.

Let me get a whiskey. All of these, yes. I could do, I could do like, hey, Tommy. Great. Tommy. I want a shot of whiskey, Tommy. You sound retired. You sound somewhere between British and deaf.

Very well. That's my piggy bite. Cereal. Hello. Hello. You know what? I'm changing the setting of the foggy old London town. Hey, mate.

Hey, mate. Fessing me a martini. Hey. Hey, mate, I look a f***. Whoa. You know what it works. We have to have Tim Dillon right back here. If we put it in foggy old England,

you're just asking for a cigarette. Get me a f*** to my flat. Great. Yeah, your ass is flat. You're fucking queer. That's why I want to put his penis in me boo. You're going too far. Too far.

They go, well, I'm British. No, I don't even think that's a real fake. Well, now, that's a lie. That's good. Dan, you should do voices. I hate it. I just lost the lead of a fucking Netflix cartoon. No, sir.

I was going to be the lead of a voice in the movie. Did you lose something from the, were you right there? Yeah, they really liked me. Then they picked a more famous person. Shame. Shame. They picked Nate. They picked Pete Davidson again.

They go, hey, Dan, I don't even want to do this. That's crazy. They're like making me do this. I go, yeah. Must suck. Yeah. Shary probably really stinks. What was the show?

It's pretty crazy that they're going to bring your dad back from the dead. I have a co-host the show with me. Oh, they got in touch with the Haitian witch doctor? What show was it? Can you say anything? No. You didn't get the compartment. How much more famous is the person?

More famous. Like, way more famous? Yeah, like, can you say the person? No, I don't know. I don't know who it is. Stop trying to fuck up his shit. I have a contract that says I'm not allowed to say what the show is. You're trying to fuck up his shit.

Yeah, but I have a non-disclosure agreement. What are they going to do? Not give you the show? Sue me, Lewis. Fine, I will. Oh, God. If you were into litigating, you would be a fucking nightmare. If you sued, you're starting a law firm.

He goes, oh, guess what? You're getting sued. He goes, I got sued because they didn't want to do skanks this week. Oh, did your friend of my own to do your podcast called Gomez, Gomez and Gomez? That's the name of the club. You might be entitled to 10% of their work. Are you a comedian? Are your friends more successful or do your podcast whenever you ask?

Lewis, Lewis, and Lewis. It's just me, though. So you don't mind armpit hair I don't Okay I don't mind I don't want it I don't want Don to grow

I don't go in hair Yay I don't want it on my wife I wouldn't mind it on a girl On your mistress Like a guma I remember I fucked a girl once In a park

This is true This is before you had a good apartment I fucked her in a park This is back in the I fucked her in a park too Are you telling my story So we got herpes No no

This is in the freezing cold Like maybe six degrees Outside It was freezing That's a lie You'd die Just make it the 26. Why not?

All right, maybe it was 26. I don't know. Fucking asshole. It was six degrees. You'd have to be dead in five minutes. You'd have to get a lighter and heat up her vagina to get it wet. No, she wasn't wet. Oh. Jesus Christ.

Forced it in. If it was wet, it would have frozen. Did it feel like a tauntan when you dick went in? No, it was really cold. It was like, it was colder than twice. Because it was, I used to work outside in the cold selling tickets. We know. So on days that were like 26, 30 degrees, that's not that bad.

That's like a decent day. this was a crazy cold day How did you convince her to fuck outside? Was she on drugs? Maybe. She's just crazy? I met her and then I fucked her outside and we couldn't finish because we were in Central Park

fucking along the wall. Was she awake? Yeah, yeah. Was she like, yeah, fuck me right here. No, I was just like, let's go to the park and fucking hook up and smoke a blunt and then I pulled her pants and I started fucking her. Oh my God.

And then she had pants? She was like, let me go to, too. She was like, let's go to my... She was, please, mister, please let me go. I won't know. You did this. Please, Mr. I thought you were going to play chess with me.

She was staying at a hostel. She was staying at a hostel. Oh, you were going to tell me a street joke, and now we're here. And then she brought me back to her hostel. You asked me if I liked Ray Rewon. I wasn't allowed to go into her room because it was like a hostel. There's only one person per room. So we went to like the game room and I fucked her on top of the pool table.

Whoa. The game room. What kind of Cinemax life are you living as a ticket sailor? I used to get laid all the time from fucking just rent. Because I, what would happen is you'd. Hey, Paul, corner bucket. Oh. He'd peel off two tickets and leaving on a chest when he left.

No, a big part of sales is getting... Oh, poster dog. A big part of sales is getting them to like you. Yeah, and get him to fuck you on a pool table. Yeah, when was your sale technique after you fucked? No, very often, if they didn't have money or didn't want to buy tickets, I would go to, all right, we should just have sex. Very often.

And that worked, and it worked. It worked a lot. It was funny. It was just funny. Like, I've always been really good at getting hot chicks. People are like, oh, you only get hot checks now because you have money. It's like, that's one of the reasons. There's a higher quality of a hot check, but I used to get some pretty hot.

Same. Did you find that by just positioning these women with sex, like, turned them off? Like, they were like, oh, fuck hell. People were just going to steam over him going same. I had many hot chicks. You did? Mm-hmm. Joe, actually, you used to pull.

Really? My wife is fucking hot currently. What are you nuts? Hot girls like Joe. Yeah. They feel like they're going to take the glasses off and he's going to look better. They feel like he's going to do the librarian. Well, you're very funny.

He's very funny. Very funny. And I listen. If I had herpes, I just don't know how I would get, like, how do you get girls still? What do you do? It's like, do they just fuck you anyway? They have herpes. Everyone has herpes. No, not everybody.

I don't have herpes. I don't have herpes. Would you like it? I mean, that's my biggest thing. It's like, how do you, how do you, how do you breach the conversation when you're about the- Well, I only had to do it a couple times because I've been married for 16 years. How did you breach the conversation? One girl?

You're doing your act, which is good, because then girls will probably come up to you and be like, Sarah, that's what I would have jokes about it. So then I put on a podcast. And then the herpes, bitches bitches would come out of their hiding. Oh, my God.

And there's websites for herpy people. There's Reddit for herpes. There's herpy dating sites. Herpy harmony. That's not bad. At bombed, but it was pretty good. You have, they have websites for people with herpes

to meet other people with herpes? Yeah, of course. That's a genius idea. Yeah, warts app. That's funny. That's very good. Very good. These are all old jokes from my act.

Hey, buddy. I'm feeding you with a spoon. Good job. Maybe I did like your old act. I never watched it. You had that in there? Herpy harmony. That was a joke.

I said I would get chicks at a hotter chicks out of herpes. We get it. Yeah, no, I know. You don't have to fucking behind the music. Yeah, we got it. We know how company works. Oh, cool. Storytellers with Lewis.

No, that's a joke. You know, I actually wrote that joke. It was a rainy day. He's just, he's saying the jokes so we don't steal it. I said, I said, herpy, herpes. One girl, I told, well, Sarah, I told it the Laker Awards, because I had now- I remember that. Did she go, like, I think that's pretty cool.

She was like, I think that's good. People, more people should be out, and I was like, this bitch has herpes. And it turns out she's just a really nice person who was trying to be supportive. But we didn't start dating after that. I had sex with one woman before Sarah, and I still hold her in the bedroom. I was like, listen, here's the thing.

I have herpes. and she was like, well, it's not ideal. Yeah. And then you wear a condom. I had a girl tell me right before we had sex one time. And I had a condo bunch because I do have to tell you, I have herpes. And I went, I know, I know. And she's like, but I haven't had an outbreak in a long time.

Yeah. I had a girl tell me after we had sex. Oh, that's not the right thing to do. She called me up. She's like, I had to tell you something. I was like, what's up? She goes, I have herpes. I'm like, I was pissed.

Yeah. I was fucking mad. Because that girl let me make mine. Did you run on it? I didn't fucking done from the 80s. If I could wear rob his dude I came in there like a surgeon when she told me As soon as they told me

They took those pants off As soon as they told me only gay guys get AIDS I was like I'm in Oh my God What a fun lot I had one girl that I sold tickets to At the Queen Center Mall And I brought her back to my place

And I was like We were fooling around or whatever And I pulled my dick up for her to suck my dick She's like hey just see you know Like I'm having like a weird throat thing And right now I think it could be herpes of what Even when you put a rubber on

You always stick it in a couple times You got to break the seal. I had a girl recently tell me she had herpes for the first time ever. I was just DMing with her. And she was like, hey, just so you know, like, I have herpes. And he said, well, it was nice speaking here. Well, no, then I was like, oh, we can still hang out. I was like that.

I appreciate you being honest. And then I literally never hung out with her. Left her on red. Well, there was another woman I was about to hook up with. We were in bed, making out, drunk. And I was like, hey, just. you know, I have herpes. And she was like, oh, that's disgusting.

Oh, yeah, I swear to God. And it was so funny to me because I'm like, well, you're doing everything you do to get herpes. Like, you're me being thoughtful away from getting herpes. You're right, dude. She was the problem. Yeah. Not you, you walking sore.

I'm not saying she's the problem. Oh, hey, look, the scam has an opinion. She was rude. Yeah, she was rude. She was rude and clean. She goes, cool, bye. Square is what she was. And if you don't have a breakout,

do you have to say something? I think it's the nice thing to do. If you have a breakout, you shouldn't be fucking. It's crazy. What does a breakout look like? It looks like... It's been long enough. How often do you get them now?

I get them every... Well, this is the thing. I feel... I have Valtrow. I don't take it every day, which can, but it's a lot of money to just be taking Valtrex every day. So if I feel the slightest little tickle, it's, you take it,

and Valtrex just fucking knock. it out. So you may have it, but it's like the tiniest thing. Will it be like, does it show itself or does it feel it? You feel it. And you can find it feel your like lymph nodes feel a little bit weird. Are you feeling it? Is how many lymph nodes are down there? I would have guessed lymph nodes are right here. Yeah, he too. There's multiple. And here. Oh my God. But then, not that long ago, I had run out of Valtrex. I was on the road and I had started to feel an outbreak and I was like, oh, I'm out of Valtrex, but I was like, I don't feel like calling in a favor and doing the,

the whole thing. I'll just, it's been a long time. Is there anything you use other than Valtrex? Is there any, like, put like some garlic on your dick, or is there any, like, Indian remedies? Hydrogen peroxide and aim toothpaste. A-I-M-I-M-A-M-M-A-M-M-ha-ha. What do you do with it? Are you toothpaste on your wean?

Yeah, you put the toothpaste on and a glazed donut. Oh, oh. You got a fucking glazed donut. You said, I was going to take the outbreak. Yeah, and it wasn't, it wasn't good. And it was a bummer. You had a whole fucking, like, like, sores. Dude, that was the story about.

Not really as bad as the. the first time I had it, the first time you have it, it's crazy because your body has no idea what it's dealing with. And I was a drunk. Your dick's going, kill yourself. Yeah, kill me. Get me, Joe. Looks like Cuano. I'm mad at you for getting in there because it was probably going to bomb. It was going to be

a high voice act out. No, Bobby didn't smile. No. I jumped in on it. Yeah. I did. I would have loved you. We're riffing, dude. I said, quote. So that's what we're going to do. We're going to sit here and not yes and each other. And you say, I don't help you. Hoping the other one, Bubby, you just help me. First time. Yeah, Dan's helped you more than anybody on earth.

Are you kidding? You've always helped me. He also helped you by telling you that hat's stupid. He tried. That stinks. You really are running from the cops and you grabbed it out of a store. Stinks on ice. I don't like that it's off center either.

Anyways, I remember your first outbreak because you got on the train with me. Yeah, it was horrible. It was horrible. I had to run home and put the up at the top of the top. He was going, oh, fuck. And he goes, I got herpes. Oh, he told you. Yeah.

And I went, oh, one time I had to do that. Oh, one time I had a scare. No, yeah. I have. No, Dan goes, I've had a few scares, man. It's the worst. Which I said, I was like, it's like if I was like, yeah, dude, my dad left for like four days. He went on vacation, but he came back, but I know what it feels like to have my dad.

Joe was sitting, I just remember him keep, he kept readjusting, and I said that, and he went, I have it. It was horrible. And how horrible. Describe it. It was really horrible. And it went on for like two months because I didn't know enough to get medicine or know how to get medicine. and my lymph nodes were like fucking crazy. I was like having like fever and I didn't get drugs.

I had no money, no insurance and I was an idiot. You had a two-month-and- I was drinking. I mean, we were dead, bro. We're asking what it looks like and they bring up text. It looked like matches. It looked like you put matches out all over your dick. We were dead, bro. Bring up a photo.

Blister. It looked like popped blister. Please stop. So I had sex with that girl who had herpes, but I didn't get herpes. Yeah. If Sarah's never gotten herpes still to this day. Right. Or at least he hasn't been able to.

She would take it. Yeah, you fucking right, she'd take it. You just turn him on. He's gonna be careful with her. She's gonna be around babies and shit. Well, my baby's three. I stop sucking his mouth. We started using condoms months ago.

So you're not fucking in anymore. Come on. I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna recognize that. Damn, dude. This is, you're gonna make him move to Austin. So you're not fucking in anymore. I'm moving to Austin. Good take.

Good second take. Honestly, this is why you get the Oscar. That's why Joe's winning the Emmy and you're winning the Oscar. Thanks, Dan. We should wrap pretty soon. We got to do some ad. Yeah, and I have to run to my other podcast because I was supposed to do Tuesdays with stories today and this show on Monday. But somebody thought they could fly.

Somebody after 25 years of doing comedy and 44 years of life on earth thought he could fly from Spokane to New York City and be here by 12 p.m. Which is fucking hilarious. Lewis is like, oh yeah, I'm in Spokane Monday morning. There's no one o'clock podcast. direct flights either. Of course not. You're fucking idiot. It's a flight of Seattle and then all the way across.

And even if it was a direct, it was still, it takes six and a half hours. Everything got delayed. I was, I got home at like nine o'clock. Yeah, your learning is delayed. All right, well, that's it. You guys, uh, thank you for watching the regs. We'll see you guys next time. On the regular.

On the regular. And probably without Dan, because Lewis is being. No, Dan is going to be here. He's got another year on this. Another year. Well, I move in November. I love Dan. Answer that.

Seriously. Yeah, and I'll fly back. Here's what we do. Two episodes in a day. I'll fly back once in a moment. I'm not doing two fucking five hours of this. He's got a whole other radio show. Yeah, I got to go, because he fucking left the other show.

No, you'd do three hours. We did it once. Those three years ago, just like Joe's baby. And two and a half, I'm counting. There's three. I left in March, March 1st of 2020. All right, guys, thanks for watching. Bye.