Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - It's a Hot One

Episode Date: May 5, 2014

Robert is joined by Lynn Koplitz, Dante Nero, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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All right, before we start the show, I want to let you know that this Saturday night, May 10th, I'm coming back to Pekipsi. Pekipsi, New York, I'm going to be up at the Chance Theater. It's a big ass theater. I got a few other guys, Dan McRitchie, Jean Trifilio, and there's gonna be a host. It's gonna be an amazing show. This Saturday night, May 10th, Pekipsi, New York.

So all you motherfuckers spread the word, gay friends, buy the tickets. It's a huge theater. Don't make me look like a piece of shit. When are you coming back to Pekipsi? When are you coming? I'm coming. So get all your friends up there.

All your beard, freaking witch, warlock, whoever lives up there, all your cops and firefighters, and make a goddamn night of it. It's at the Chance Theater. Go to robbertkellylive.com. Just click the button, and it brings you right to the page where you can buy your tickets. All right, so spread the word tell your friends get a bunch of people

Saturday, May 10th this Saturday, Chance Theater, Pekips in New York, me, Robert Kelly To the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I was trying to keep it like a comic-catch. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. It's rubber killing us. You know what? I guess.

There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. I'm like a cast, I come. Died. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Alright. Alright.

Three. I gotta keep turning the camera to fit less of Kelly. Just to get closer to Jerry. It's okay. Oh yeah, come. All right, so here we are. Back once again with another episode of YKW, I don't know how Scopo, we're a double can. I don't know why that's that.

Thank you. You get know how Scopo, we're a double can. I don't know why that's not. That's not how I'm fucking. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, you get half a Scopo. You only get half a Scopo, folks. Now it's ugly here. Now, now it's what it should be. Nice fucking bald fat guy.

We got a great show for you lined up today for free. That's the big fucking thing. That's why you can't really critique us because it's finahted. You're in a truck, you're in a cab, you're in a car, you're in a cube or in a train. This is nada, it's live. I got some of the funniest motherfuckers walking the earth and some of the almost good people of America walking the earth. We have one waiter on a couch. He's my friend. Yeah, he's everybody's for we have two

waiters Kelly's here. I wouldn't have meant that joke, but I thought you literally were talking about Kelly. I thought he was talking about me, too. And I was like, I'm gonna bump up. Just, that's, he didn't do that either. The scopo was awesome. Oh, yeah. He didn't do that he's not

good at things you know he's really not he's he's good he's good this one scopes good when you fucking give a nice hot one and then it is great when you fucking do it and then i'll feel like two day two weeks you'll be fine that nice cases not my phone time i don't have a lot didn't explain anything just now he said what do you mean and you went you know it's like that that that that that There's a thing two weeks hot one means all these different things You say hot one means you bombed yeah a lot everyone else in comedy is like a hot one is like a good one It was a hot one a hot one and then you give him a hot one. Is that load? What are we talking hot one is like forget about it now?

Hot one hot one can be a bunch of different things. Yeah, I know that's what I'm saying When you give me scople you fucked fucked up, you fucking dumb cock sucker. Right. He responds to that because he's Italian from Queens. Right. He responds to a fucking baseball bat or a fuck you idiot. I'm just telling you, Kelly doesn't respond. Kelly will cry and fall apart. So you got to kind of handle Kelly in a different way. But him, and then three weeks will be fine. But then he slowly fucking teeters off,

like any employee at a fucking gross ones barter out of the way. What do you mean when you say hot one? Is that what you're saying? This is the first, this is the newest meaning of hot one, yelling at somebody. Right, that's what he's doing. I use hot one as a whole, right?

Yeah, I use hot one a bunch of other things. Right, it's like Mahalo, he just said it. Right, just throw it out there. Yeah, what are you doing? I know phones during the show. And you know what? No phones no, I have no phones. No, no, there's no phones. There are no phones. Robert. No, no I don't give a fuck. Kiss no phone. Kiss kiss. Kiss no phone. Robert. No, you have to let me explain why why?

Because I didn't know there wasn't food in this girl is trying to bring food here So I have to tell her not to what kind of food? The fucking food that I was making for you before the show no you said you brought hot dogs They're picking up blanket. I have to wrap up all the food. She bringing more of this I'll tell her to bring it don't cancel that bring it to the I'm not gonna have her buster ask to come over here. It's a block away Wait and my dog needs her her more than you need the How does something is we don't need

I You're gonna actually text we have to live through it real time your text. Why don't you just talk about it? Fones on the show hit the button and put the the big phone away It's a huge phone Why do you have me on here to be mean to me? I'm not away. That is a big phone. It's a huge phone. Why do you have me on here to be mean to me? I'm not mean to you. That's the thing. You're being mean to me because you're disrespecting

the whole show by having a phone. We have a phone jail that we put phones in. That's too big for the phone jail. That's your big way. That would actually wouldn't fit in the phone jail. We need a phone prison. We'd have to get a new, we'd have to get a new jail.

Does your know 90% of the phones and jail are black It's a real problem I wish we had just a Joe camera I wish you didn't have to share with those two. Thank you Kelly's trying to try to move in on my glasses department I was cool guy glasses. That's just a camera It's not me yours is here Yeah, you're just yeah, you have your own camera. It looks wearing the camera, it's not on me. Yours is here. Yeah, yours is there. Oh god. You have your own camera.

It looks good too. You look good on camera. Oh, they look good, I can't say. Oh, you know what? I wore the big sweater, but because I'm going through fucking menopause, I have to go. You don't have menopause. You're not going through menopause.

Yeah, I am, Bob. No, you're not. I want to see a doctor's note. You're too young to go through menopause. How old are you? 46. Oh, shit. All right, you're going through menopause I swear to God I'm gonna strangle you. Are you really going through menopause? This is gonna be your show sooner. Are you excited?

Because I'm gonna strangle Before me Yeah, he's not even I'm not even close. I'm like I'm right before Kelly Kelly's just pissed Is this is this a bit kind of about to bit? We've never done that before ever in the show right? I'm gonna go ahead Joe. I'm gonna bounce a bit. There's a reason we need gonna. I wish I wish Dan was here to do a voice Metapods this is a bit Metapods reminded me I was having my niece a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Kids so easy to make laugh.

You just, you just guess their age, but higher. Always a laugh. Like a five year old. I'm like, what are you? 10, you 11, you driving, you married. They lose their shit. But you did that to an adult. What are you?

You met a puzzle, you retired. That's a bit. That's a bit. You guys decided before you're gonna stone face me. I did not, no know we did not. We just, I mean, I don't know does that work in the club? I haven't tried it yet.

I thought I'd bounce it up here. It works in duck club when he dances. It was present in girls ears. It'll probably get a hot one. I bet it'll be a hot one. Or warm one at least. All right, here's the thing too. We have, let's go around the room.

We, of course, we have Lynn Coplitz. Hello. Who was here last week. We're supposed to have Lynn Coplitz. Hello. Who is here last week? We're supposed to have Dante Nero But he apparently just cancels or he's late and started stripping again. Oh no I can't even every time I think of that I just think of a big vain cock. He's got to have a huge But it's not it's not huge like it's it's symmetrically uneven like the vein It hooks to the left.

The helmet is small than the rest of the dick. You wanna see those dicks with it as a regular guy helmet? I've had that, but it fluctuates. Sometimes my helmet is three times the size of the body, and then sometimes it's small. Then you should go to the doctor, that is not a skull. I mean, they're not three times, but no.

That's called herpes. That's called the general work. Yeah. Oh, Jay, back to Vietnam. Love Joe does radio stuff on video. I hit the camera. I cut that. I did a physical bit on my album. What was it called?

The album? No, the physical bit. What was the bit? I don't name my bits. You don't name your bits? Well, when you put it on an album, you're going to have to have a name. We'll have a track title. It's going to be called joke four. What are you going to maybe? That's not bad. That's a great idea. Joke four. I might steal that of myself.

Well, you can't steal it. It's your idea. I know. You can have it. That's what I said. I don't want it off. Anyway, we got Link Coppins here. She was on the show for the first time last week. And she was late. She was late. I wasn't late last week. I was booked at 3.30. Scobo was she late today? Little bit late because of the fucking hot talks Bob, you know what? Give her the day. No she was late for tits runtime. So I had already decided I wasn't gonna be mean to you and on the stairs. I was nice and I gave you a kiss And now you're gonna compliment I said you're nice big old titties Lynn and for size old but now you're gonna that was a compliment I said you're nice big old titties Lynn and for size old but this is why you can't let losers get hot girlfriends this is great

all right that day's downstairs it's gonna take with his magic ass and legs it's gonna take some 45 minutes to get up here. I love that. He looks like Aaron Neville. I love him so much. All right, yeah. Listen, he's sitting on the couch with you, so I hope you love him. I am terrified of Dante. Why?

What do you mean by why? What are you doing? You should make an argument why I shouldn't be. Not the other way around. He's got bones sticking out of his ears. He's 380 pounds. I'm very racist to say that. That's not racist.

He has big things coming out of his ears. It's not a bone, it's a tooth. He's kind of extra bone in his ear to say tooth is a bone. Is it? Teeth bones. It's like an air plug. It's not like It's not like a twin you guys made it sound like it's got a tooth coming out It's like it's we got next to Lynn. We got Lewis J Gomez is in the house the rattlesnake I don't know why I like that. I don't like it. This is the outtwin when he says something the Lin we got Lewis J Gomez is in the house the rattlesnake. I don't know why I like that. I like it, this is the Altoids when he says something. Lin don't, don't know back Lin.

I like that, but that pops it, it's his Altoids as if Lewis has ever used the breathment in his life. Jesus Christ. Oh no, he said old, fuck you. I'm a, it's menopause and you know better. You fucking know better. The gloves are all. Yeah, this is great.

We have Joe List, the sniper, the truth list is here. Love Joe. That's a good oil. We got Dante, Aaron Neville, fucking Nero is here. What's up, buddy? You're late. You fucking late. Our friend Claire is watching.

This is the problem. I'm relaxed. I introduce people, settle down. I go to Kelly for Stuka. Hello. Who is the right hand woman of the show. Hey mate. And then with the left hand woman of the show as well.

Left hand, is that, and then we have, I fuck up all the time, Scopo, but I give you an angry face. I really don't care and I'll fight you. Hey, Bobby. Hey, don't. Scopo is here. He text me today. Can I get you an angry face. I really don't care and I'll fight you. Hey Bobby, hey, don't. Let's go. Let's go.

He text me today. Can I get you anything? I go, yeah, a coffee and some nuts, but if it's gonna make you late, don't do it. Cause last week, he goes, I go, he was like 15 minutes late. I go, where were you? I had to get you coffee. So he blamed me.

So I said, I have, I got my wallet home. I had to go all the way back home to get my, to get my wallet so I can get you coffee. That's an easily unprovable thing. Yeah, so. Yeah, I'm gonna reach your wallet. That's like saying you have an earache when you want to miss school.

They really can't check that. There's no thing about earaches, you know what I mean? No one can tell if you like. Do you need an alibi? I can probably get an alibi. I think it was my alibi. I love a joke. Yeah. Because it's getting rough. I can probably get an alibi. I think it was my love a joke

You can trade five alibis for one joke I take that you are funny. Yeah, you you alibi sexual Say a good joke just a joke Dante Nero is here. Are you guys comfortable? You're all right over there? We have a new moon more. No, I'm good. Are you good? You good? You want something to drink? Why are you late, motherfucker? I was I was trying to get some food. I didn't eat nothing all day and Then he took me a long time to get it so I just had him wrap it up and I brought it up. You can't eat up here I know I didn't bring I'm ready. Where is it? It's on the box Well, you telling people no food. I didn't bring a's on the box. Wait, are you telling people no food?

I didn't bring a hang on one second. It's not you. It's not you. It's not you. No, because I think we almost lost the fuck the studio. We almost lost food into a working. Everybody. Everybody does. I go to radio. I bring fucking. This is the rubber Kelly show. Everyone assumes food is okay. True. And no, and last week he said to me, where's the food? No. But I don't book this.

That's massive. I don't book this. I don't know if that did. Really? That's all it takes to get on your good side. A fucking nice little invention. There's a deal. No, was that a factor?

Scopo, I'm going to say it on the radio from now on. When you book people no food, they can eat downstairs. There's a deal. No, was that a bad one? Scopo, I'm gonna say it on the radio from now on. When you book people no food, they can eat downstairs, there's a fine restaurant downstairs called the Olive Tree Cafe, a 117 McDougal Street above the comedy cell. Bob, nothing got sent to you. Then why did you ask me where the treats were?

What? What? Why did you ask me where the treats were last week? Last week you said, where are the treats did you bring food? I think it was a great deal. It was a joke because you always bring food. It was a joke with you because every time you come

to the, every time you do spots at the seller, you bring this food. When lends on the show, there's gonna be some type of cupcake or a pork loin or something on the table. Cupcake or pork loin. A couple of these. A six man. Very wide range.

She does. She does. There is no theme to her fucking food drinks. I of things. Four and six, man. Very wide range. She does. She does. It's no a theme to her fucking food rings. And it's strawberry circuit, the other day. Yeah, it's like she watched Rachel Ray, and that's what she makes. And then poor Veronica Mosie brought a peanut brittle one day, and they called it, they called it Coplitz brittle and fake Coplitz brittle.

What happened to where is she? I don't know, but I felt that, that was so mean. She had a baby, didn't she? Oh, yeah, she had that was so mean. She had a baby, didn't she? Oh, yeah, she had a baby. I think she had a baby. She died. She died. She was a mean, a brittle, tumer.

She said, Lewis. Lewis. Oh, yes. You're a fucking jerk. I really like Lewis so much more pre-hot wife. Why? Why? Because he's a dick.

And like today is more than like, no, can I tell you? I you know, I did take that I mean, that was that was not your fault. Lynn is a headliner. She's been so for a long time. She's friends with you guys are or you just said, Lynn is a in a seat

I would laugh. I would laugh. I asked if you fucking had the balls. I was running five minutes late. And Bobby literally will fucking flip out of me and he throws things at me hits me when I'm late So I have a bad a hip and you and you didn't even think to say to me. Can I take your heavy bag from you? Oh

He has no manners Lins won't up the stairs. I'm already running late. I had to stop to get out towards It was a whole thing I'm an old rattlesnake then she hits the buzzer dude and she's just kind's just kind of sitting there. She's chatting with me, and then she starts walking up the stairs. And just like, what's like fucking a slow old person walking up the stairs? She's carrying food for you, you inconsiderate dude. I'm literally going, Bobby's gonna fucking hit me as soon as I walk in the studio, and I'm sweating because I'm rushing here. And it wasn't your fault. It's Bobby's fault. Let's go. Sorry, I was in the right. I'm not on the same. Everybody, here's Bobby's fault. Let's see how it's all. Sorry, I wasn't, you're right. I'm not, I'm not the same. Here's a deal.

Everybody, Lewis, you come late every week. That's a cry. Every fucking week, you're late. Whether it be a minute or five minutes, you're never on time. And the reason why is because you got away with it once. That's your problem. You got away with it one time.

So now you're gonna, you're always gonna be one to five minute late because that's the fuck you that you like to give me. got away with it once. That's your problem. You go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, for Kitty in that way. I listened to the fucking show last week and fucking. Oh, no way. Is it back to her now or am I the big bad monster? Are you on her? You listen to this show. I listened live the second half and they were ripping me a new one the whole time. She's telling my girlfriend. She's the mother of my child.

She's too good for me. So that I'm feeling like an asshole. That was actually B talking to her. That was B talking to him. Literally, Lingles think that she's like, you know what? Honestly, I have to say that Lewis, he's a really good, and then the fucking feed went out because Scobo fucked up.

So I was just gonna say to you, you know what? You are really gonna eat shit because I said really nice things about you. Yeah, at the end, then I didn't fucking hear. So there I'm fuming in the apartment, my kid in my hand is like, we're leaving your mom,

fuck to him, on a punches bitch. Wait, that's here. I don't worked hear. So there I'm fuming in the apartment, my kid in my hand is like, we're leaving your mom, fuck to him, I'm gonna punch this bitch, wait, I see her, I don't worked up. And then he was like, oh no, everyone was like complimenting you at the end. Yeah, we complimented him.

I mean, it was definitely a fake, a bunch of fake compliments. Wait, no, it was crazy nice. We said he was really funny. We said he's a good guy. We were very nice. Here's a deal. Here's a deal.

I never said, I said, here's a deal. I said, here's a deal. I said, here's a deal. Lewis, I gotta say this right now, I, I, I, I, I, I, I said handsome. month every other Sunday. I'm doing a cheat day. Okay, that's it And I did three months I did one you not smoking pot. Why because your wife won't let you know that's not true No, I'll tell you when he smokes pot. He's a a dumber person. Yeah, I am he when some people smoke pot and they become better More enlightened people he becomes a fucking moron Okay, cuz I when we do shows, he's always the Lewis I love

before the show, then he goes up, does this thing to re-wad himself. I love it when it's like this. You can talk right in the middle of it. That's how radio works. You don't even wear the headphones. Why do you have those on? He fucking, he turns into fucking dumb,

a weird idiot out of the show. No, really, it's funny though, because I'll go up and then I'll open for Bobby and I'm sober because you know, I don't wanna be dumb. Then he headlines and Eleanor comes off and I was up Just a shitty person. I'm glad you're not good on weed. I you know dude. No like I'm up. I'm not bad on weed I am not a sharp when I'm smoking pot. No, no, no, I you're not I'm saying You're not a good person, but I've been not been on weed for the past three months on the show you know

That's great good for you I've been not been on weed for the past three months on the show, you know. That's great, good for you. I've always been on weed. But you can't really judge yourself not on weed because you're on weed. No, I've taken off a couple months at a time. I do this every few months, I'll take off a few months. Yeah, but you'd have to ask somebody else how you are when you're not on weed.

You can't show it. You can definitely tell, dude. Let me tell you something, I'm usually falling asleep by 6 p.m. when I'm smoking. You know, that's what we like to do. We should do the show at 7 when you're sleeping. We should do the show at 7 when you're sleeping. You like to sleep?

It's a handsome weight, please. Sleep. I think I- That was that weed. Well, what did you say? I'm so fucking old. I do that without weed. You're gonna be okay.

I'm so sleepy. Ah, I-I-I-I-it kills me to say you look great. Thanks, man. You look great. You do this, man. I fell off, by the way. When look great. I fell off by the way When I I fell off the no sugar no grants. I've been going back on and getting off and going back on and get so I haven't all the Kingsmen couldn't put you back together again Kelly that Kelly laughs at everything so I don't think that counts as not a bomb

Give me a Laptop The second you laugh you smiling Bobby even laughed himself Bob, give me a minute. It's not they laughed at that. It took a second, you laughed. You were styling. Bob even laughed himself. I didn't laugh. No, you laughed Lynn, but it took your second to get it. No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

It's Joe's delivery though. It makes me smile. Listen. Thanks for the interview. I fell off a little bit. So basically she just said you're Joe's not funny, but the way you say it. I'm not good.

What you have to do is you got to do a cheat day, dude. That's it. Well, what I did was, I built up for something for the pilot and to learn drums, and I was losing weight, and I did all, and then when it was done, I had nothing to focus on, and I'm away from my family up in Canada, and I got lonely, and I got anxiety, and all the stuff that I usually can battle,

and it fell apart, and then I started cheating and by the end of it I fucked up big time. And then when I came back now, I'm, you know, my wife has, you know, pasta salad around and chocolate and there's a fucking, you know, I stopped at the donut den on 14th Street. How much did you lose, Bob? Well, you're 45 pounds.

So, don't you feel better? I do. So, that's not motivation enough for you to... No, not for an addict. You know what I mean? No, you know what feels good too? When I went to Donut then, and I got a fucking box of they came out of the oven.

The crullers, the fucking glazed it, came out of the oven. But don't you feel like shit after you eat them? Well, here's a deal. I know that I know where I'm at right now. Okay, I fucked up. I fell off the no shirt. I'm getting back on it.

I'm gonna get back on it, but I am gonna allow myself because I gotta allow myself some sort of... Salise. Release. I'm gonna have a cheat day, but I'm also gonna have, I'm gonna add some more, some different vegetables into my life. I'm gonna start doing a lot more fish.

I'm gonna start doing a lot more of this stuff cause I grill now that I'm up to house. I grill two times a day. How was that last night? Eight o'clock doing pork chops and grilled vegetables on the barbecue. It was fucking amazing. I love living out of the city so much, but

We grill and Brooklyn too. I don't know if you guys grill on a you get hit by a car We're not talking about gold. Yo, we're talking about food. Give me those pork chops son I lost 13 pounds, but I gained 40 so you can't really tell I lost 13 pounds, but I'd gained 40 so you can't really tell That would have been 53 I lost 13 pounds within the last two months, but I gained 40 so I'm still You may know that Collagen implants implants. Oh really? I don't. Those are my lips. You dumb. Smok.

Attacling attack. Well, I mean if it was real, I'd be like, oh, that's embarrassing. You called me a dumpster child three minutes ago. I called you a dumpster kitten. You know, a dumpster kitten is a toilet baby. Don't you know the difference? Yeah, that's what I said. A dumpster kitten is just to say to like- You suck, Lewis. Your parents are gone. You're just kind of feral. You really don't think you're kind of a- You're shit. Maybe not now now that you have a baby and-

Bay, but you really don't think you were a bit of a dumpster kitty when you were living with Hailey? No, here's the thing. Here's- What's that? She had to- What, where is Hailey? Hailey's assistant-

No, Hailey was- Who is? Hailey's a six foot fucking one giant hippie bitch who's literally all into it. I love Haley. She's a good friend of mine. I love Haley.

I do. I stay with Haley when I go to LA. She stays with me. She comes to New York. I'm fairly loyal. Yeah. He's a jitter. No.

No. She's bananas. Okay. She's literally limited. Haley has these stories about how I lived in her place and fucking she had a pay me to leave her apartment. Haley was squatting, was taking $600 a month for me as rent for six months and not paying the landlord. The landlord came to change the locks one day and told me that I've not been paying rent

and I was like, fuck this, are you out of your mind? And then Haley started, she ended up giving me back $600 to move out because I was like, I don't have money to leave and I'm afraid that my shit's gonna get locked in this apartment and my dog's gonna starve to death. That's what happened. If you're getting your source of information from bananas. I knew that. Okay then. So, my friend does his child. She also said that you instead of washing your clothes. I mean, do you want me to say it out loud? Yeah, 100% with like buying a new t-shirt. I was just teasing you. It just comedy you dumb fuck All right collagen lips. Why don't you fucking light it up? Okay, if I had collagen lips I really would but I don't want to make fun of the other shit like I have my Botox and along

I don't know I just need to be like that I don't know what the hell is a collagen lip? It's a collagen lip. They should collagen lip I Almost find that to be a compliment. It really looks like I have collagen Listen, you have sexy lips, Lynn. I'm not gonna lie, but there's it's not that's what I'm saying is that's awesome If it looks like there's college so why are you gonna so offended if it's a compliment? Yeah, cuz it's just a stupid cut down. All right listen

All right, we're gonna get back on I'm offended at the badness of the joke not Bobby just got bored on his own show listen, I'm going to get back on the bed at the badness of the joke, not the Bobby just got bored on his own show. I wanted to comment on the way thing, Bob, because I want to do a lot of one new way. I want you to do Nutris. Okay, I would like to hear you and

Dr. So why don't you go first, Lynn? No, I was just going to say that you should really look into like Nutris system and one of those because it's awesome and you'll like it because I'm doing Jenny Craig, which is interesting. Jenny Craig in Jenny Craig. I didn't know she was still alive. Yeah, okay Today send you the food that's not you got a job. I'm doing Jenny Craig goes I didn't know she was the fuck a Jenny Greg and he made a fucking Jenny

I didn't I didn't hit his delivery the fuck you guys actors are comedians He changed his delivery his delivery is perfect. Thanks everybody listen But here's a problem with Jenny Craig and those foods, okay, it's I'd rather eat regular food. It's really But here's a deal my wife cooks all the time I cook all the time and when I'm on the road I'd rather go my trick was I was going to really nice places for lunch and dinner I wasn't eating at the club right unless they had really good food I was eating steaks and vegetables and chicken and vegetables and big salads and so right so I I it cost me more money, but it helped me out these Jenny Craig things I then know good for me

I'm on the road all the time. I'm not packing a fucking luggage of food. No, but he's mine. He's his. I'm not doing that. Here's the great thing about it. It teaches you portioning where you wouldn't know you wouldn't understand the point. Yeah, but I don't need portioning. What happened with the no sugars, no grain, that was great for me, is that my portion, I didn't overeat because my body wasn't craving the sugars. So when I overeat is when I have breads and risottoes and sweets, and all of a sudden I want more and more and more. I'm not hungry, but when I, three weeks into the no sugar no grains, I was just full just full like I was eating half the food

I was eating the way it should be my body thing is every three hours is supposed to eat something else well Yeah, but so do you I was eating I was just snacks as well. Here's a thing. Yeah, it was having nuts and but I was eating when I'm hungry So but I was I knew without forcing it I my body just became naturally what it's supposed to do. It was doing its job. That was the greatest thing for me. But when I had sugar again, when I started eating the carbs again, it fucked up my glucose levels and all of a sudden, like last night, dude, I cooked the pork chops. It was great.

I ate. And then the baby, we had to go to CPR for the baby. Have you done that? No, because you have to be our training here. You have to know how to do CPR on the baby. Not, he didn't need it. I had to learn how to do it. So that's why you learned that before they're born. Yeah, we should have, but we didn't.

So I did. Beatrice, my, Beatrice, you took a class and I watched the online YouTube training thing Sure you did I Would never think in the world that I have is my fucking son. Yeah Kelly. I did that you have me I don't end up a million years. I think I I'm sure my rattle. Oh, you just threw it in there. I didn't mean to hit your tape with it

I swear just you're supposed to do the rattlesnack Just take care of his baby Next sounds sad. Well, she has menopause. So let her have the old rattle So so last night we eat the food dawn the baby was up too late And it was she had a, it was crazy. When you have to put a baby down, it doesn't want to go to sleep,

because it's too fucking tired, is one of the craziest things ever. So she finally went to bed, no, not even worse than that. And then she goes to bed, I'm sitting there by myself and my brain, because I've been eating sugar. I fucking, I just went in,

and I got a couple crackers. I ate a couple crackers. And then that crackers, I was like, oh, she's got those bunny cheesy things. Those little, you know, the fissies, but they're bunnies. It's easy, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, gofish.

Gofish, but they're bunnies and you eat bunnies, cheddar bunnies, and you eat a fistful of them, but it's not enough. It's like a worther. Then you start dipting them in stuff. See, I want to dip them in things. I just start taking fistfuls and then I went to the chips and then I was looking for a stash.

I was like, there's a donut somewhere, there's a cookie. I do that. It was a fucking nightmare. I did it last night. So do you feel guilty to say, if you cheat, like the same way if you cheated on your wife, do you feel guilty when you eat like that? Yep.

I get because it's the same thing. I don't cheat on my wife, I don't know what you do, but yep, I cheat on your wife do you feel guilty when you eat like that? Yep. I get because it's the same thing. I don't cheat on my wife. I don't know what you do, but yep. I cheat on your wife all the time. I do. You know what that means. I have to come back. I'm not going to be able to do that. How fat is this?

I've actually gotten up in the middle of the night and gone. This is so fat. I've gotten up and gone into old purses looking for candy. Like, there's going to be one of these bags. Has God have a mint or something? But that's like the thing with the Jenny Craig stuff, I can't do it because once I can't do that for the rest of my life, I gotta be able to,

the no sugar and a grain was perfect because the thing is, it's not a diet. It seems extreme, but you make these little tiny changes. I can eat as much as I want, I can eat literally as much salad as I want, as much chicken as I want, as much steak as I want, I can have literally as much salad as I want it. As much chicken as I want it. As much steak as I want. I can't have bread, pasta, potatoes, or sugar or rice. That's it.

It's as simple as that. It's as simple as that, but then you want to beat and all this shit, but all the stuff. All the stuff that's getting smaller, and you're like, I don't want to eat. I was eating as much as my wife was eating, because I was naturally full. And in the morning, I had bacon and eggs.

I wasn't hungry hungry. Now, this morning I ate, as soon like a half hour later, I wanted to fucking have a slice of pizza. But see on NutriSystem, you eat all day. Yeah. You eat these little meals all day long. But here's the thing, you have pasta,

you have all that. But it's like their version of it and it's got all sorts of stuff in it. So it actually fills you, like you don't want it again. That food, here's another thing with that food that I found out. Some of it's real good. They use, they use a lot of alcohol sugar Okay, which is Substitute for real sugar. He's a lot of sodium and a lot of sodium and they use all these chemicals to recreate this shit and the gas you get the

Farts you get They're ridiculous. All that you you're not supposed to put that in your body. You're supposed to you're not supposed to eat chemicals That is what it's causing cancer. I'm telling you right now. You're not supposed to have fucking sweet and low You're not supposed to have equal 20 years you smoking pot shut up No, he's I'm I'm with you both shut up By the way me smoking pot will also give me cancer cigarettes Also give you cancer eating pussy will also give me cancer cigarettes. We'll also give you cancer eating pussy

We'll also give you cancer living in New York City and breathing there. We'll all my friends eating pussy Stop don't even fucking go down my friend Joe you nanny He's he just got cancer from eating pussy. What do you mean? It's you know Joe you know no Joe I know he's kids, but how do you know how do you know it's from eating? HPV it's HPV What happened? Yeah, not as much as the guy eating a pussy It's HPV. And you can answer from what happened to blowing guys? Yeah, not as much as the guy eating a pussy.

The last question before, it's a big gash. Okay, so when you eat the pussy and it turns into a tumor, that's what basically happened. I forget the fucking process of it, but he he got he got can't throw cancer from eating pussy that they're sure that it's from hp absolutely the doctor told them that absolutely and and and michael dogless same thing he got throw he got throw cancer from eating catholician jones pussy of the made but i love eating pussy

yeah just make sure that it is like a carrier monkey just jade don't get jokan so can't get into your mouth. It's too small Didn't Joe smoke for years to it couldn't have been that now it was it was the it was they know they know what type of cancer It is and it's from HPV. They know when they did the biopsy whatever they fuck they call it They know this type and it's the best type of cancer to get by the way Right because they can cure it. They blast at the fuck out and you're good. Yeah, he's so yeah You just said that like you're picking out a diamond. It's a bet if you're gonna get a cancer

Exactly what they said that's what the doctor said to him He said he goes if you're gonna get a cancer This is the one you want unlike that you did the hand like you were sitting with a bunch of old women in I'm on camera This is the one you want. I like that you did the hand like you were sitting with a bunch of old women and I have to be physical among camera. It's the best kind of thing. I thought it was crazy You were doing no cheat day for like you literally went like five or six months without a cheat day Which I feel like that is the thing that's gonna drive you crazy Well, it because I was I had a goal and I was I was just killing it and what happened after I didn't know You forget about the psychological factor.

It's not all, ship the food or have portions of Doni chug, it's psychological. It's what you do, how you respond to anxiety. I had something to go to. And when that thing was done, there was no goal left. There was nothing left for me to achieve. So I need to. Can I tell you a trick?

Bookification. I'm telling you right now, when I used to... Can I tell you a trick? Book of vacation. I'm telling you right now, when I used to work in the fitness industry, this would be a thing when people would lose motivation, we would tell them to fucking book of vacation because it gave him another thing to focus on, like, I'd be on the beach without their shirt on. It's not actually bad.

He's actually... That's actually a good fucking device. Oh, both of you. That's what I just bought a house and have a baby. I hope he's both going to vacation. Bob, my aunt called me yesterday and she texted me. She goes, and she's invited and she's by herself. She's waiting, I'm not going to get there.

And she goes, I feel really lonely today. How do you do it? And I was like, I usually fill the void with Bob King cookie dough. Do you have any? Like then she goes, I'm using rum. I'm like, yeah, that'll work. Yeah, I don't.

I don't think that. But here's a thing. I can't do anything. I can't drink. I don't use drugs. I don't fuck. I don't. And there's a couple hours. I can't do anything. I can't drink. I don't use drugs. I don't, I don't fuck. But cook you down. I don't use, I can't do that.

I can't do anything. There's nothing left. I am forced. I told my therapist today. I go, I know guys that come to you. And I know some of them are on drugs, like that level them out. Some people get that option to take a pill.

And it levels the playing field. I don't have that. Do you have a problem? Do you like to draw? I got something for you. How about plant? Bob, you're a manny word, right? Yeah.

Like is that really something that you're that you're not going to give you my word right now? I'm not giving you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word.

I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my word. I'm not going to give you my podcast. Yeah, and very funny podcast brown Phillips show beige Philip Shit Brumphillabrock Bashe show up always was talking about shitting so the But I went on I went on the air and I just yeah, I made an announcement on the live No, but I then it's not on the air. Well, I mean, you want I recording. Okay, I'm kidding. It's because we're trying to be fun. You never know what the

funny is going to be. It was no last. Yeah, I got to laugh after. It was a corner. I went on. So I made an announcement to all the fans that listened that I was going to get into the best shape that I've ever been in. And I'm because of the part of the podcast is about being, presenting yourself as the best person you can be. So eight people you're committing to. Yeah, whatever. I, his grandma. And the seven other people on your podcast.

I still gave him my word. And that's all that matters. I understand that. And that does, that does. And the pressure of that is I don't mean to I Have the pressure of this you ready. Why do you have that scarf only? That's the bomb bandana the joke I said about you bomb So when you do a stinker you get this you know who the last

Everybody knows watching the show that I just fucking laid out a hot one. How is the last one? And a hot one means bad in this dress. Okay, bye. So anyways, um, Translated to jealous. So I understand what you're saying, but I need to, the reason why I love this,

this not this diet, this way of living, is because for me, it's the cravings. It doesn't deal with the cravings. It deals with the addiction. It's like, you know, I looked into OA, too's the cravings. It doesn't deal with the cravings, it deals with the addiction. It's like, I looked into OA2, overeaters anonymous, it's no sugar, no flour. It's the same thing. It's the addiction.

I am one of those people that can't do drugs. I can't drink alcohol and I can't. It's not different from the cravings. Isn't the craving in the addiction of cravings? The craving comes from wanting to fill the hole, like she talks about. There's a hole in my stomach that I haven't learned. Look, I look at my beautiful kid and I love him so much

and it's such an amazing connection that you can't, it's hard to fight, but I can disconnect from my child. You can't. And let's do the drumstick. Like a, I'm sorry. I'm paying a little ticket. I get it. Good for you, Lynn.

There you go, Lynn. What a routine. Your first bomb band-in. The wrapped that around your neck. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Actually, putting your mouth. I, uh, uh, uh, uh, so, you know, but I can, it's hard to stay connected, especially for what we do.

Yeah. For what we do, being fucked up helps us do it better. I believe it helps us go on the road, it helps us, be the selfish people that we need to be. In terms of what extent you think that makes you better. I don't know. I think that it doesn't, I don't think it makes you better. I think it helps with where we gotta be. You know what I mean?

Like, as far as this business, especially at the beginning, being alone, going to clubs every single night, not getting on the depression, the rejection, all the shit that happens to you in this business. And then, all right, I'm gonna go on the road for two weeks and I'm gonna live in a shitty, I'll fucking do it. I don't give a shit. Most people can't do that,

but because we've learned to survive with drugs, alcohol, sex, food, and all the stuff that will give us the friends and family that we need, or the good feelings. And then all of a sudden you have a woman in your life, or you get love, or you get a nice place, and then you get sober, and all of a sudden the world starts opening

up and it's like, oh shit, you have to replace those negative things with pauses, you can't just leave those spaces empty. You have to replace them. And with food, which is one of the last ones for me, is the last one because I quit smoke and there's no more sex. You with hookers or shit like that, that was always that secret shit that I could do. I could go get a hand job and it would fill the hole. Or I could, you know, the food, I could go get a pizza

and I could fill the hole, but I can't do that anymore. So I have to, you know, I found a different way to replace that, which in, and I think I gotta go to the gym. I think I did go to the gym. That was one thing I didn't do. I mean, ask you a question. If, say for instance, you say like that secret shit, like the hand job, hookers and stuff like that.

What if, just hypothetically, what if your wife was okay with that, would that still feel, I'm just saying hypothetical, would that still feel the whole, or would it need to be something that was secretive in order for it to fill the whole? What's wrong? My son is 102.

OK, is he OK? All right, go check him out. That sucks. All right, two. Did you kiss him? Thanks. You always get to make fun. I didn't hear what you said.

What I was going to say was, is it the fact that it's secret shit that fills the hole? If those things, if you're just hypothetical, Is it to be clandestine? Talking to the microphone, honey. Is it to be like a clandestine? Are your headphones on? Yeah.

Oh yeah, you get a chocolate mic, bubba. I want to get you. I didn't think so. You can pull that back if you want to lean back, bub. I just call you bub. What man, the brown fill? I don't know. I think, excuse I'm done. You're rubbing off on your.

I think, excuse me for interrupting. I think, I think Dante's saying, does it have to be a clan design thing? If Don was in on it, what'd it still be interesting? A little clan design. The thing is, secret. Thank you. It doesn't have to be a clandestine.

I didn't know what they love. Joy, did you know? No, I thought that was from like, Braveheart. Yeah, I don't know. Games of Throne. No, but here's the thing is the hunt, you know, going on Craigslist,

when sex was on Craigslist, going and finding, like, it was, I used to love CSI-ing the ad, like, okay. I know the saddest fake because the photo, I saw this chick in Boston and I saw her in Dallas. There's no way she could be in the same week. So there's no way this is a lie. Or, you know, this chick's real and her ads real

because of the way she phrased it. I know a real human being wrote this. This isn't a guy who's got a bunch of, I love, and then going and maybe in meeting them and oh my god, it is real. She is, that is the chick. Oh, fuck, this isn't the girl. I'm fucked and getting out of this situation

or actually having to go through with some weird thing and have a nice story. So it is the plan this time, right? It is the plan. Okay, so Bobby, you hear the night. It's the hunt. It's the hunt of, it's the process. It's not the keeping it a secret as much as the process.

It's not even actually coming when it was with sex. It was everything that led up to that. The gratification of them saying, yes to you. You want to get the yes. And that's actually better than, I was gonna say something. Let me just say something. Let me just say something because, yes I'm paying.

Okay, part of my brother, Chris, he said something really smart the other day. he's he's young and full of hope He's doing this thing where he tries something new every day like why don't you do a thing like where you say okay I'm gonna try a new food. All right Chris Like you're gonna try new food every day because people don't know you talking about Chris is Oh, hey is down Chris actually use Scopus microphones. It's easier. It's more likely I'm gonna say something funny,

or meaningful. Stand up right there. Chris, Chris introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Chris. I knew it. Yeah, right. I'm a server at the company, so. Go sit back down.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. He's great. Yeah, just so they know, a Lynn brought Chris up here. Did you bring him for a reason? Why did you bring him? Just because I thought he'd been like,

we were just kind of... That's a good question. I thought that she talked to you and you're like, hey, just bring this kid. No, no. I saw Bobby on the street. Why did you want him up here? Because we were gonna hang out and talk later

because he's been, he does this whole thing about positive thinking and all this shit. And, and, and, and, and, and, just tell him what he's doing. Success coaching basically. Yeah, basically. Now, how do you do this a waiter? And what, damn me question.

Isn't that, that would be the, I would be like, okay, now what do you do? All right, I got, I'm gonna, I'm gonna meet you. I can meet you at five But I gotta leave For my shit, and now I can't meet you He's just starting it doesn't have clients yet and we talk and would you like lemon with your

Listen, I got two bad things for you. You're wrong about your wife and we're out of the chicken. Oh my god. Don't fucking stop funny. Shut your face. I know. It's I was gonna say. And now you know why I brought it. Oh my god. Can I can I actually tell this real quick embarrassing story that happened? Oh my god. Is this it? Yes, but get the band dead already. There's, I get it. So, yeah, there's no funny punchline, but God, it's embarrassing. Oh, my God. I'm serving at the restaurant. These three girls walk in this one girl. Oh, no, this is awful.

This one girl plops her barefoot on the table like she's showing her toes. It's freaking disgusting. So, you know, I'm a sarcastic asshole. I'm like, I got to wipe this table down twice. The best personality for a life coach. Yeah, all right. But wait, let him have this for me. So, I bring the waters back to the table. She still has her foot on the table, so. The best personality for a life coach. Yeah, all right. But wait, let it go this way. So I bring the waters back to the table.

She still has her foot on the table, so I'm even more of a dick. And I'm like, hey, why don't you take a drink of water with your foot? And she's shooting daggers at me. She's pissed. I'm like, who are you? Is that a racist joke? Daggers is my expression.

I just don't get to that now. So she's pissed off, but I'm even more pissed off because how rude is that? So I walk away at the bar, I'm looking at her and I realize that this girl has no arms. Oh. She's had no arms this whole time and I just berated this shit.

I'm just gonna get her gross arms. That's why her foot was on the deal. Yeah, she was wearing a jacket that covered her arm. So she was eating with her feet, which is rude. I don't care if you have no arms or not. Stay home with that shit. I put a chopstick in your foot. Let me know it's not all the same to the waiter. But hey, I'm about to eat with my feet because I have no arms. That's what I said. I said you should say I know because he said her coat sleeves were like wrapped around. I said she should have said in case you didn't notice. But who

is the person who has arms that's just doing that like him? She's about to paint something I'm about to eat fucking fog with my feet So I need a straw and a bigger spoon Well, they're feet dirty. I know they were pristine. They would have to be I would hope Wow, well, why didn't you get prosthetic arms? All right, here's it you can't just get the whole arm What do you think it's Robocop? It's 240

They're gonna get a hook He just can't get a hook on your shoulder have fake arms just flailing Hey, there'd be be a little kids in the head because you can't control. I bet she can jerk off with her feet real well. Yeah. No, a foot job as a cop. But that, so you're a life coach. But so you're not a, you're not a, well, I'm working up to it. We know.

He's working on it. And you're actually working at six tonight downstairs. No, we're not working. Anyway, what are you fucking in? You're so defensive over. Whoa. Ladies and gentlemen, what's your name in you're so defensive over? What's your name? What's your name? My name is Chris Lynn's fucking Chris Liz fucking Chris. Lynn's fucking Chris. What's that throat?

Chris got throat cancer That's insensitive if I had to pick a throw, it can't. Oh, okay. So, so Lynn, you are absolutely not. So Lynn, you've never fucked Lynn. No. Oh, well. All right, I'm just double checking.

How do you fuck Lynn's brother? I don't have a brother. All right. Only child. He's trying to find out if you're gay. He's not gay. I don't think so. Listen, so Chris're you're going to be a life coach. And now, what is that in tell? What are you going to? It's really it's really I come to you. You're a whistle.

All right. How old are you Chris? What I could be 26? 26. Okay. If a 26 year old ever gave me life advice, I'm fucking. Yeah, it has really it really some really really good advice. I'm trying to get to that. If you let me Chris, I'm coming to you right now. You're my life coach. Sure. All right, you're not a waiter at the olive tree. You're a life coach. Okay, and I'm coming to you for how what are you gonna,

what do you, what's the first thing you're gonna do? Well, Bobby, we make this all about you. It's got nothing to do with me. Okay. It's really about what you want in life. Okay. You know, so I ask you, what's your goal in life? All right, Mike, I want, I want to be happy. And I want, I don't want to be angst, I don you want in life. Okay. So I ask you, what's your goal in life? What do you really want?

I want to be happy and I don't want to be... I don't want to fear. I don't want to be fear of my career of anxiety or money. I just want to enjoy my life. Now, if we're being perfectly honest, Bobby, these are all well and good. But this is a feeling that absolutely everyone has. Right?

Because everyone wants more life. That's the purpose of life. Life is growth. I mean, one can also argue. One can argue that, you know, life, the purpose of life is what you give it. But all of it. You can't get it to it back. I'm so kidding. I have to practice from. Go ahead. So everyone wants more. They want more money. They want more fame or success. They don't want to be scared. They want more pussy. So these are all two generally. I've read, there's this one book called Thinking Row Rich which was written a hundred years ago.

A man named Napoleon Hill basically said, Napoleon? Napoleon Hill, close. He tried to take over after. He killed a bunch of people. Okay, he said that anyone that's ever accomplished anything of value knew exactly what they wanted. They had a very clear distinct image of what they wanted

and they wanted it so bad that they would just go out and get it. Yeah, they also call those fucking people and narcissistic fucking sociopaths. And I know a bunch of them. I know. Yeah, you're one of them. You're one of them.

It's really? But it's all about look. And step on your kids head to get famous. He would not. Yeah, he'd step on my kids head. He would not. Yeah. Yeah, that he would do yeah, you step on my kids head I'm a friend look dude. I've read all these self-help books and I've read the secret all of them literally every single one of them

You know I had a good friends and influence people love it. I'm believe I was a picture of them But no the truth is he's right about that. It's about clearly defining a goal. Not your goal can't be, I want to be happy. You need to say, you need your happiness to be this yours. You need your happiness to be a byproduct of a more of a tangible goal. It has to be a tangible thing. It's exactly the same.

I should be a Lewis is a better coach than Chris. Lewis is a better coach than Chris. Lewis is a Christian. So if I was to say, Bobby, like what's you want in life, you want to be happy, well what does that mean tangibly for you? Well you just use the word that Lewis used, and that's Bobby right in here. We just stole Lewis. Lewis isn't a sister to himself.

Cran stole from me. I listen, okay here's a deal, Chris. You're gonna say you want to lose weight. No, I don't I wanna be shredded. I just wanna be, I don't wanna have to go to other things to be happy when I'm not happyness is in front of me every second of the day, but I don't choose to go with happiness.

I choose to go with excitement or exhilaration. I choose to go with something that's just fucking explodes rather than something that's just there and not you know It's just nice. It's happy. Oh, they got ideas. So it sounds like you're you're bored sometimes Do you have a hard candy in your mouth? I have a sore throat. Oh, and you're talking into my microphone. Um are you sick? I think I'm getting a call. She was eating some pussy before this I'd love to see Lenny pussy she'd fall asleep on it I would not do that well it grosses me at the thought of it

It'll be you'd be looking at she'd be like over there. I know I know I'm getting To Kelly at two. Chris, do we tag man for a second, buddy? Yeah, tag in. Bob, here you got everything. Every answer you know, everything you're saying right now, dude, you genuinely know the answer to. You know, you know what the cool thing is.

When I say something, I read the book. It's a hundred, a Florence Scuvels shin, which was written a hundred years ago too. You guys need to stop reading more current books. I'm gonna write it out. Science is really, don't- Well, because, you know why you read the books from 100 years ago, because back then,

it's 96 pages. It's about affirmations, about what you do, and what you say, and what you think actually happens. You can manifest with your brain and your reality what you want your life, which I do believe in in some way. I believe that the earth and the universe and God as people know it is the reality. I'm not sure he understood.

The reality. The earth. Thanks for being my brother. Oh, Lord, that's it. That's my brother. Oh, Louis, that should be my brother. That's my brother. Oh, shit. Her son's in the earth. He's beige, Philip.

Not black. The reality of it is that it is kind of what I hate to agree with Lewis, but you know the answer. Yes, I know. And the bottom line with any is doing it. The difference between success and not having success is doing what you know to do. And when you decide that you're losing is not good enough,

then you'll do it. Well, let's do it. I'm going to go to the Nike ad. That's 25 years ago. It is the Nike ad. Let's just do it. You can get the hell out of it. All right, so I agree with you.

And I agree. Like I woke up this morning and I said to my wife, I go, I'm done again. Like when I could smoking, I woke up, I go, I'm done. It's, and she was like, yeah, but we were gonna, and I had a $500 worth of cigarettes, and I was like, I'm done, I'm done. It's right now, I'm done.

And I'm like, I'm cigarettes. I would go when I would go to do gigs in the world. I was like, what are we gonna stop? We were gonna, what? I don't know, I'm not just saying, wait, you can't be done. We were gonna, we were gonna, we were gonna, we had three cartons each or something like that.

So we were gonna, when those were done, I'm gonna make it quick together. We were gonna quit as we, you know, kind of, when those were done, then we were done, but I was like, I'm not waiting. I'm gonna give those cigarettes away. I fucked up. I'm gonna give them to whoever, and I'm gonna quit.

Oh my God, I'm at least watching this fair park. You were like the pied piper, all the homeless people you're throwing up there. I think it was the episode in Joderosa made out of Matthew. But I wanna see some of that. I started to say all the time. I'll say without stutterin'. Chris is watching.

What? It is just doing it. But you see people say I'm working on this, or I'm working on that. There's no such thing as working on it's either doing yes or not Yes, so and now you may be doing something bad. You're now is coding Yoda. Yeah, you may be You may be doing something And if you do something and you fail and the next day you pick up and you start again

Yes, then you just and and through the repetition of doing things over and over again it just becomes easy. Well there's no failure until you stop. The only time you fail is the last time you try. I just had to fight not sticking my hand in Lens Top Shirt. When you lean over and you're titty, I literally want to just put it in and just hold your shitty. My shitty? Sorry, that's what I said. When you do that, Robert,itty, I literally want to just put it in and just hold your shitty and Did he? Sorry? That's what that is. When you did that, Robert, though, you're totally missed.

You're totally missed. You guys missed out on Joe Liss trying to say something wise and then he had this grin on his face that totally missed out. I knew I nailed it. No one was listening. All right, but people at home were listening. Here's the thing though. So you're gonna talk to Chris. What is Chris doing for you?

You know, if what you're saying to me and I believe it, it's true, I already know the answers. I know what to do. I need to go back on what worked for me and what I need to today, which I've done, is I'm gonna eat the way I've been eating for the last seven months, no sugar, no grains. That's it, I'm done.

I'm back on that, it's gonna suck for three weeks again, but I will sacrifice that because it made me feel good But another thing I have to add to it is which I didn't is the Is the gym okay the reason why I'm laughing show as is Maybe your natural skepticism is what's keeping you from being as happy as you can You're like this. What the fuck is this Chris gonna do and then what's keeping you like being as happy as you can. You're like this, what the fuck is this? Chris gonna do. Maybe she's like this, oh that's great. You found a guy who likes to help you.

Maybe he's changed your attitude. What's Chris, what are you gonna tell me that I already know? I'm Joe. No, I'm not. I don't look Chris in the eyes because he's magic. I know, you're afraid of him, you're very skeptical. Lynn, put those big hands down. Can I go?

Jesus. Yeah, go ahead. Because you asked me what it's going to do. Just that hand. First of all, what I respect. But I remember in your water. What I respected about Chris is that he's very proactive. And then he basically said to me, I feel

like you should be furtherer longer your career than you are. Which, you know, many people have noticed that I've somehow made it to the middle of it. You should have gotten him fired for that. I don't say that at all. She's making those words. You made it to the end. That's not exactly what fired for that. I don't say that at all. She's making those words. You made it to the end.

That's not exactly what he said, but we were talking in. That's what we all think, I know. That's right, that's what, yeah. And, but no, then what did you say exactly? No idea. Well, you want fries with that. OK, because, you know, anyway, my point is, I'm so delighted later.

I mean, you know better than to deny what somebody's saying, but my point is that you you just asked me why I was talking Yeah, I know I don't know well Because that was all worth it. I'm saying that that basically what happened was that we we talked and I thought he had some good points And I he's new at doing this and I said this is a group of misfits that can benefit from You then I got to stop the show right now real quick. I hate you right the reason why I have to stop the show I'm sorry then I apologize what you're saying is valid seriously and and I know it is Lewis Gomez just put reading glasses Fuck this is a very intellectual a YQW day and I feel like I really need to keep up

Those glasses it was for a squirrel you look like a manny from modern family. He looks like what are those? I found them on the floor. Is they real are those real? Yeah, I can't see. Yeah, those are gnomes glasses You're gonna put those on the table. They probably fell off You're a fucking ass We should just break him and then Well, here's the deal. Okay. You, you, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da I'm right where I should be. So what does that mean? Why do you need to deal with somebody? Why do you need to better? If you're actually where you should be,

then why do you need to better? What do you need to talk to a life coach? I'm blocking here. No, I'm asking. Not because I don't agree. I've never had a conversation. I don't have a life coach either, Bob. I mean, I just talked to Chris last week

for the first time. He's not a life coach. He's a waiter. No, he's not time. He's not a life coach. He's a waiter No, he's she's not you're gonna be a life coach, right? All the above. Well, no, no not the waiting Hopefully soon what do what do what the fuck are you gonna do? What are you if I asked you what you are right now? What are you right now for money? I'm working at the comedy seller. What are you working to dammit? Let me finish What are you working to dammit let me finish What a human being comes into this show they're like what the fuck Now I thought I wanted to be an actor, but it turns out I'm a musician at heart So I produce music and that's my goal in life is to produce to make music at a music festival

I'll show you I'm not gonna play it now. No, what are you producing? Other bands are yourself. My stuff, both, a little bit of both. And to do that, serving tables isn't gonna get me the money where I want to go. I don't want to be a friggin' starving band musician who's crashing on couches. I want to have money. So in order to do that, I'm gonna help other people become successful. And something I read once

If you help enough people get what they want you'll get what you want and so you know, that's that's basically my goal Bobby you help people a lot. Yeah Brates people I think more than anything The Bible says for every blessing you give you receive three. Oh, I help a lot of people. 100 years old too. See, people... Now you say I berate people, what do you mean by that? I was just, well for one I was teasing. Oh okay, no I thought you meant that. And you're like, he said berate, but you don't do that anymore.

What do you mean? I just realized that your comedy was also just so much of who you are. You're just so like, raa, raa, raa, raa. I know what I got here. You mean that as a compliment? what I got yeah, I know you're fucking hilarious saying you kind of yell but it's not since It's meaningless. He's very perceptive volume. Just really no substance He says you're the art of the quav white comics That's too far out that's just Everything was funny up until then all right no sense I Chris

I'm not looking at you not because I'm I just my neck my neck I doesn't work anymore my neck hurts. I swear to God. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening I'm listening. I'm listening. So what do you want me to talk about? What was why would you say that? Why did you say that? It's just part of your person. Well when I got here I've never been to the studio right it's it's freaking lovely for one right but I got here I sat down and What's Christian or Chris Jesus Chris Jesus

Go Bo is Talking to Mike dummy he came in he was like I'm Chris too. He goes oh same name. Okay. It's easy and he fucking forgets Did he just be alpha-mails you just now? Oh? He wants it. He wants to produce the show. I just figured it all out He's not gonna like oh, he wants me. Are you gonna show a blade fucking alpha male me right back at you Chris Coach Chris go post the most venomous I brought you into a monkey cage No venom

It was telling me like if we were talking about what did you want to do comedy? What do you want to do? And when the minute you call me to book me I was like, you know what? I'm in a praying Chris and I did ask Chris if you could do this. He knew you were coming. Bobby did not I didn't see Bob, but he knew listen, so I want to get led to the point. So you come up here and you see Christian Oh right right right right. Uh you this is about you. Yes, but you well I got here and you're just like damn it. Why didn't you get this done? Why isn't this but you were like I don't know you were very direct and assertive and funny at the same time So that's whatever word I use I didn't say raped I said um the rate

The right joke and fuse me. Yeah, no, I know Um, I mean it's just like how your comedy is well you have to be a Babs fan of sleepy Bob when he gets a compliment, he gets a sweetest little face. I think he's awesome. I really think he's one of the most common. No, no, he weeds through it to see if it's a compliment. I really try with like, it hurts him to see if it's a compliment. He has to see if you're being mean or a complimentary.

No, no, no, I'm not crying. I'm not, I had some of my eye. And I'm not turning that way because I really deserve my neck. I'm looking straight ahead. So I'm not crying. I had some of my eye. And I'm not turning that way because I really deserve my neck. I'm looking straight ahead. So I'm not being weird. But if he makes eye contact with you, he's going to hit you. I'm going to tell you where I am. That's why he's not looking. He knows him.

I'm a, first of all, I'm a, I love the radio. All the people at the cellar, especially the waiters and waitresses, we're all a family. So I love, you know, I'm a big fan of everybody. Even especially with the comics. Well, the comics too.. So I love, you know, I'm a big fan of everybody. Even that's especially, with the comics. Well, especially the comics too. We're all in this together. I feel that way when you work at a comedy club,

we're all in it together. I'm trying to fucking make these people laugh. You're keeping them quiet. You're making sure they're happy with the drinks. Well, this is big, even the door guy, everybody. We're all in it together. So as far as I'm concerned, you know, when I see people like you, when I meet,

waiters, which I've met a ton of you guys. I love when you guys have, you know, you do things other than, because you know, some of these guys are in a band downstairs that have rocked. I remember I went around the corner and I go into the village underground. They're all the waiters, the, what's his name? And they were on stage, fuck it.

Aaron and them, yeah. They were killing it. I was like, kid the fuck out of here. Yeah, so I love that one that happens But I have them up here more often. No, it's not gonna happen Aaron terrified by the way Who Aaron why intimidating who the waiter Aaron why nice big one time I heard him he was like you fucking light him what the fuck she doing and I was like ah and scared me really you You're not that small You're not like a tiny your talk You're talking about a guy who has a fucking his web series called the ultimate wearier. Yeah, which is based on him

This couch is the most terrifying thing I don't know who more afraid of. But I just, now is, we got off topic a little bit. I want to know, is he going to help you in your life? Or is he just a positive, is he a positive person? Look at, no, Jesus Christ, let me finish. I have people in my life that are just positive people that I talk to, is that just him or is he gonna help you?

No, am I going to hire him and be his client? Probably not, but is he my friend and do I value him already? Yeah, definitely. And do you want to kiss him? No, I mean- She wants to kiss me a little bit No, just a little bit. Does she he's a little bit really? That's fine. I want to kiss you Well, I don't want to kiss it. It's okay. I don't want to kiss anyone in the room So nobody no nobody if you have even Christian hang on one second hang on one second

One second if you had to pick somebody in this room who would it be Kelly? Kelly. Yeah, and then who said Australian? I bet one Australian. I want to make it true. You say that I would want to kiss you. Oh, oh, I, it's some of five minutes. She was the big out with me Highland she's like cutie-pity I called people dial in and honey Because he was right me that's a lady with her you I'm sorry Cutie but to the she wants to toss my salad. Oh my god. I love Chris Lynn You've tried to you're trying molestus

I'm not a little boyfriend guy is watching this I'm a lestus. No, I'm not. I'm a little boyfriend guy is watching this. No, no, no. You have a boyfriend? I do it. How old are you? How old is he?

What's his name? He's 25. He's 25. You're born from 25? Yeah. I love him. Good girl. Good girl.

As your boyfriend watching right now, right now. Okay. No, no. Run. Run as fast as you can to the tallest mountain. And I and he's my boyfriend guy. We yeah, we've been hanging out for a year.

Well, boyfriend guy, that's the guy that she's gonna fuck while you're not around. I can't totally not. She's gonna eat his pussy and get throat cancer. Listen, we're gonna take a break real quick. We're gonna do some ads and everybody's gonna go down, ads. Oh, I're gonna do some ads and everything's gonna go down ads.

I don't hear it asshole. We're gonna, we'll come right back with, with everybody on the show. I hope you guys are enjoying. You guys are listening live. We will be back in around 10 minutes. So just stay tuned and we'll see you then. All right, check it out. People back in five. Well, not back in five. But I wanna tell you guys something right now,

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That's DraftKings.com. Oh, and, oh, I didn't, yeah, am I my girlfriend? Yeah, you're my girlfriend. Oh, I don't know why. Fellas, are you looking to spice things up in the bedroom, Bobby? I wanna, yeah, honestly, God, I'm spicing it up. I've been spicing it up in the shower by myself.

Oh boy. I had to call the plumber the other day to fix the drainage. Oh, no, that's clogged up. Oh, that makes me wanna cry. Oh, that makes me want to cry. Yeah, my wife's hair falling off from having the baby and my, my, my, my, in the drain. You know, Jesus is that thick, right?

I'm, I've been fans of it. I'm about surprising a lover with an adventurous new toy or adult movie. Oh, boy. He's an offer you won't be able to resist. I hate when you say, oh boy. Oh boy, I hate it. But I love it. I hate it boy, oh boy, I hate it. But I love it.

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I like it. Might be a sexy voice. A lot of slubs for the Jesus, for the offer code, upon checkout, when you do, you will get three free DVDs of free extra gift and free shipping. That's free, free, free. That's three free's, baby. Just use the offer code, dude, dudee at Adam and Eve.com. Okay, make sure you go to the newriacast.com. We have a brand new website up there. It's, we're very proud of it.

We love it. We got the video up there. We get riotcast TV right on the home page. So, when anytime we're live, just go to riotcast.com on your phone or your tablet or your computer and you can watch right on the page. We also have new photos up every week of what's going on. Who is in the studio? And make sure you check out all the other shows on riocast.com. We have the best shows out there. We're very unique, very, very picky when we pick these shows. We get a bunch of new shows coming this year. We'll be talking about soon, and make sure you go to my page and hit the Amazon link anytime you buy something off of the internet, whatever it is, use my Amazon link from the YKWD page, and you'll give us some cash, and use twiek.io.com for any of your headphone needs,

use twiek.io.com, and the code word, dude, and you get 33% off, which is amazing, because they're already inexpensive headphones. So you're paying like $15, $12 bucks for a pair of headphones, which is awesome. So go to twiek.io.com and gameply.com. For all your gaming needs, it's the Netflix of video games. If you're a gamer, join netflix.com slash YKWD.

Sign up for two free weeks on us. That's in gameply.com slash YKWD. And what else we got? All you guys who are donating, you're amazing. Thank you for donating to the podcast. All your donations go right back into the show. We put them back in. You guys, the last time, we've got the Zoom H6.

So now that's why we did the podcast, the live one from the Jersey Comedy Festival. We were able to do that with the help of you guys. So thank you for donating to the show. Keep donating. You guys are awesome. Whether it's a dollar or $3,000. I can't wait till somebody does that.

Yeah. And what do you mean? Yeah. That's going to be great. I'll give you $1,000 of this. Oh my god. It's someone who do it. Really?

Yeah. I got it. I got it. Italy in July. Come on guys. Help me out. We're fucking helping. We want vacation.

What about the show? The show. I'll come back. Also, I want to plug the National Military Family.org when David Hittitt tells us he last week, and that's a big thing. He's also an Operation Purple. Go to his website and click on the links to support our soldiers' families at war. Let's say four. Make sure you watch his show in Comedy Central. It's 12 o'clock on Saturday night. One o'clock on Saturday nights.

It's 1 o'clock. I think it one o'clock on Saturday nights, it was 1 to 12. I think it's one. I think it's one o'clock on Saturday night. David tells a new show, it's an amazing show with a bunch of amazing comics. And watch Amy Schumer show too. And watch Syrons when you're at it. It's a great show in USA that I was on.

What about you, is what you want another show that's coming out soon? No, we don't know about that yet. No, we do. No, like as a guest. I don't know. Maybe playing someone's. Oh, Louis, like as a guest. I don't know maybe playing someone's oh Louis yeah, Louis back fuck yeah

Brother I get Louis back season four make sure you check that on it effects I love that show and yeah, I did an episode or two And that's about it. We're gonna go back to the show right the fuck now Is Robert Kelly's YKWD podcast? And we're back. Ooh, very anticlimactic sweeper. Hi, we're back. I wanna start doing plugs right in the middle too,

because people listening live, wanna make sure you guys hear, what do you got going on? Real quick. This weekend. You're gonna read it. I have to, because I have to get it right. This isn't gonna be out this weekend.

There's nothing more annoying than hard candy coming through a microphone. I'm not feeling a mom. I may second. I'm in Glenside Pennsylvania Glenside, Pennsylvania with Jenny McCarthy at the Kesswick theater. Yeah, and then on May 3rd Saturday, we're at the Paramount and Huntington with Jenny McCarthy the dirty sexy funny Who's on the show with you? It's not just you. It's you and it's me Jenny Tammy Pescatale. Love Tammy Pescatale Love Tammy Pescatale. She's one of the fucking good one. He had his palabell

Palabelle's nuts. Yeah, it's definitely had a Shalarias and And justine burrito burrito. Yeah burrito. Okay, or just beautiful Steen on that show She's been on some of them. Yeah, she's all female show. Yep all female Jenny, Jenny hosts it and does these sketches and it's just hilarious. It's really fun. You do live sketches? No, she has them.

She has them taped on and Donnie Walbur is in a lot of them. I love the Walbur's. And they're, but it's just so wonderful and fun and it's kind of like a female brat pack kind of thing. It's really good. Okay, great. It's like the, the rat pack you said we get the fuck them. Yeah, exactly. The fuckable wrap the fuckable wrap back. All right, what do you get that type? Besides your powercast, I got a base

Philip, uh, wwbacepheil.com, you can get it on all you can get on our iTunes. I got, uh, I got a couple of. I have a couple of episodes on, on the power series coming out in June on stars. Okay. Playing a hitman on that. Right. All right. Are you always playing?

You always play some type of killer. You know, some killer. I always see you on TV or a movie where you walk in and you are the last mother fucker they have to get through. Yeah. They always get through. You got a weak knee or some shit. Just like getting one of credit. Get your Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do you have a belt made out of bullets? Yes, absolutely. You have a wallet made of ears. I got that.

I got that. I actually have it on me right now, want to see. We'll just wear that. Just wear that. I'll just come in. Lewis Gomez, where are you this weekend? Lewis J. Gomez is going to be in New Haven, Connecticut. Joker's Wild with Chris Kup, a dead and fucking only

press from the Hammer Fisting podcast. A lot of YKWD fans had him up already. So thank you for that, guys. So come out, talk shit.D fans had to be up ready. So thank you for that guys. So come out, talk shit, it's gonna be rowdy, it's gonna be crazy. I love that. So if you guys know my act. I look at, I'm not gonna promote that.

What? I'm not gonna promote being rowdy. No, don't be rowdy and crazy, but it's going to be. Here's the thing, I don't promote that at comedy shows. I promote that you, as YKWD fans, punch somebody in the face who heckles me. You fucking listen and you laugh and you have good time. You can be rowdy as he's coming out, but then listen.

I don't, you don't want that, because you're not good enough right now, Lewis. You love that now because it gives you an extra 10, 15 minutes. It's not good. You're not, you know what I mean? When you really get an hour to do, and you go out and they start screaming shit

and throw, you're gonna be like, guys, like guys no listen listen I just got to get through this because I got to make it take some experience there before it was pretty fucking rowdy it's on the corner of a street in New Haven but I had a blast I'm look I know no look I'm not encouraging people to be where you are that's what you're doing fine fine you think scopos gonna be the other hand he's gonna crack and he's gonna get a angry and the Lewis's first headlining week ever he brings his own middle and mc first of all not my first time on weekend ever I was a fucking joke would you let me have my joke you know Joe it's a little pretentious that you bring in your own show why is it pretentious

then bring my own show it's a little silly I bring my own openers if it's an hour and a half away why not all right you right, you win, you win. I can see if it was intentional. I'm just mad because I didn't, all right? I was gonna say how big is that, right? That's not not the thing. When he says, didn't he means headline? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I put for neck. I had line, I had line. Pretty good too. Hey, you had lined on the fucking Monday. Ha, ha, ha. No, it was a Friday Saturday and there was 24 people there and I did 41 minutes. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, come, well, come.

Uh, jokes. First of all, Scopo, you don't handle hecklers correctly. You're on my show and you fucking panicked. I didn't. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't the greatest part. He goes bad in, uh, yeah. Yeah, fucking bad. I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't used to a theater kind of crowd.

Kelly would have cried in Randolph's stage if she was there, okay? Skopo handled it for dude. It was the dance that shit was so many is to me land what talking about my yeah he says that's a way on the cuts me like that like it's true Kelly you were not on my side earlier so you're oh fucking I

Am I Obviously not But he was giving you shit. I was like kill him. No, let's hear to be funny, and that is not your side Two oh boy, I can't get my plugs in. What are we gonna do for a plug over here? I was at You were done what did you say to me before and I was like a two Kelly? Nothing no, yes, I'm getting hungry. What. I wasn't done by the people. I was done by the whole thing. I was done by the people. You were done? What did he say to me before? And I was like, it's too galley. It's nothing. No, yes, you're done.

I'm getting hungry. What's your plug? I'm also, I'm starting a monthly show at Santa New York Labs. I mean, actually, yeah, 100% dude. Yeah, I've got you. You're on the first one already. How many people go to that?

Like 9,000? 9 billion. 9 billion people already have 10. I want to do it. Dude, I want to do it too. It's called the dark comedy show. It's dark comedy in the dark. It's a play on the dark restaurants in New York City. It's gonna be complete pitch blackness. You can only make you

Not going in the dark with Lewis. It's really just a play to rape. All right, so you have your own show Vinnie Vinnie Fev Vinnie I didn't finish putting the date on it. Hurry up. It's going to be pitch black darkness. It's fucking asshole. Whenever show, Dante Neurosonet, Joe Wes is on it. What is it? It's May 15. It's a Thursday night, eight o'clock.

No, you just booked it now. Oh, I don't know. All right, you done May 15, Thursday night, it's in New York. It's free. There's no cover. There's no cover. Oh, those are great shows.

That's a great plug. That's a great, yeah. It's free. And no lights. What do we do at your house? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. free and no lights. Why don't we do it your house? Yeah, yeah Why don't you do it in the fucking it's called it's a little club called Nana's house It's called the close Starbucks You know You don't think that's a cool idea pitch blackness. It's just your words. I want to be on book

Here's I'm on booking myself. I didn't know what the student He's got the keys to a 7-Eleven and that's our... Here's the problem. Here's the problem. Here's the problem with comedy clubs. They start to panic when they got to pay the big rent and they start... What are we going to do? Let's do theme shows. Theme shows stink, okay?

You know what works? This is really counterproductive to my plug of my show. Having a fucking comedy show with funny people. That's what works. And you do that consistently over and over. And it works. And it works. That's it.

But Lewis has found the way that you don't even have to pay the electric bill. He's cutting costs. No, I'm telling you, explain that the state of New York still has the comedy club downstairs. Yes, the American's a regular comedy club. Explain that. Explain that the stand up in New York still has the comedy club downstairs. Yeah, it's a regular comedy. Explain that. Explain that. Upstairs they have an alternative black box theater that it's specifically for experimental different shows.

Right. And I thought this was a really like just interesting thing. Explain that. Don't you say I have a free show that's in the dark at stand up. It sounds like a stupid show. Don't say black house. Like a homeless crowd. Yeah, we're going to rape.

Nobody wants. Yeah. Explain that. That it's almost like a, it. We're gonna rape that nobody wants closet. Yeah, explain that that it's almost like It's a different type I would have but you shit all over the show before even got the words out You say it's in a black box theater a bottle comedy club It's not like so that way if it's think she can go downstairs to the regular Actually be able to see the show pay pay money for something that's worth money You just said the volume like oh you just shadow on the show that I'm trying to let promote and stuff right right?

You've done that to me like about my show To me Can I produce a Saturday night? Nine o'clock show that people aren't allowed to do jokes on they can juggle they can dance they can do any talent But tell you that's him sitting on my shirt That is sitting on her show Sure that's been running for three Sit down you're not on camera

Sit down and put my back in the fucking day. It actually sounds really interesting Okay, I'm turning off. Yeah, let me tell you something. Hey, let me tell you something. Okay, turn him off. Yeah. Put the mic back in. What do you want? The only Yonnest poppest takes the mic out of the stand. I love Yonnest's influence. You ever stand up like that again and start screaming?

There's nothing at the end of it. There was nothing at the end. Let me, let me say. Tell you, here's the difference. You are desperate for stage time. Hang on one second. You are putting a Saturday night show on. Listen, listen, did you call a talent show?

It is a talent show. That's what it is. Not. What is it? Tell Saturday night show. Listen, listen, did you call the talent show? It is a talent show. That's what it is. No. What is it? Tell the left side. It's a show with you. Ha ha. This is me.

All right, Kelly, what is it? What is it, Kelly? It's OK, Kelly. Tell me. Look at me. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here.

I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I No, I know it's a joke. When I first came in, Kelly was all spirited. You just broke her. She's great.

She's fine. I'm great. Tell me what you do on this show. Stop. Let her tell me. I love her. I love her. I love her.

She just shit on you. How do you love her? We'll back on track. Lincoln shot Gomez up in a second. You're a sad, I'm not. Pineless, reekin'. Okay. You really, white women just scare the shit out of you because you're family.

Listen, Lewis, for your dad's dying words, be afraid of white women with big dits. Louis, be ready, you're scared. Why don't you call the ambulance, follow me. I'm like, Louis, shut up. Fucking, so go on, Cali tell me so to shy away That's from working in the fucking and boss your whole life and having girls like him Hurl you know you're being your boss at the gap. That's why you're so scared Robert all right

That was long when it's the bandana. What you got? You know, you don't intimidate me shut your face Shut your face and untie that that's a good You know what that's all fine and then later when you face. Give me the bandana. Shout your face and untie that. That's a good art. That's all fine. And then later when you open up that refrigerator and see those little hot dogs in there. I can't eat them.

I'm off. You just gave me a pep talk to not eat shitty. And then you're going to tell me to eat the hot dogs. But we're going to the kids. OK. Now, Kelly, what is it you do on your town? It's a town town. No, it's a variety show.

What's this you're doing, your little sketch show? What is it? It's a talent show. No, it's a variety show. What's it you doing, your little sketch show? What is a variety show? Well, mom and dad, it's once a month. And it's only comics can do it, but they can't do their stand-up. They have to do something else that challenges them as long as it's funny. So we have people doing, like, showing their videos. They do, you know, like sketches of written characters.

Have people not done random town? Cause you told me when she tried it, you looked like a proudie. When she tried to book me on this show, she said no talent, she couldn't be on it. First of all, I'm a man of many talents. You know, they'm one, I could juggle. You can?

Yeah, good job. So she hasn't had juggling. You're auditioning for her your big dope Don't use the magic I pull you're gonna break it for someone who doesn't like her show He's now auditioning I might have a ball in my purse there we go one two three go You stink you could juggle as good as I can. I watched the fucking thing against the...

Oh shit. Oh, Lurie. That's really sexy. I'll pick all that shit back up. I love that you think it's sexy. I mean a chimp can do that but that's cool. He's one. We shaken down. And let me say this. the point that I was making, my show, the influence is, you know, hold on, you're one of these dark restaurants, and it's complete pitch blackness,

and the idea is that enhances your other senses when you eat the food. What I'm doing with this show. What do you say, Doc? What do you mean, like KFC? No. We're watching this. First of all, love playing.

Nothing's gonna enhance your fucking shit jokes, okay? It's just gonna be you telling fucking queer jokes in the dark. It's just scarier. Okay, yeah, it just stinks. The fact is, the fact is, People can go to sleep now, you can put your head down the way you wanted to. Here's how you applaud at Lewis's show.

Fuck it up. Don't push the mic away. Come on. Come on, Lewis. Come on, Lewis. Come on, Lewis. Come on, you gotta take this game. Come on, Lewis.

Come on, you gotta take this game. Come on, you gotta take this. No, hang on. So you gotta show at the stand-up lab. Stand-up lab? It's a new way to do comedy. If you don't like the old way, just funny. Just funny.

Yeah, if you don't like the funny way, just funny way. Yeah, if you don't like the funny way, if you like funny comedy, go downstairs. If you don't like that, go upstairs to the bathroom. And bring a pillow. Yeah, bring a pillow. And hands as your other senses. So because no one can say anything, I mean, you've got to be funny. And Tom, yeah. And it's, I guess you know, it's worth something because it's free Anybody gets to go up for there's no white white tuition Ah the condor is in the building You don't have any stage I'm available to you I do I can kind of go out of the box if I want you that point We were getting out of the black box you but, but you was on a Saturday night. Hey, African American vagina, please. If you're gonna put together a show on a Saturday night,

it's just kind of weird. Comics work on Saturday nights. So why would you put together a show? Why? We get one on some months. All right, so Joe, what do you have? I don't even wanna have these. I'm going to a toy police car now.

Yay. What do you have? Jets and toys. Jets and toys. Jets. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Justin's doing it. Justin's doing it. Just my podcast. Tuesdays with stories. It's picking up a lot of heat. We got 300,000 listeners. Yeah, 300,000. I want to kiss Joe Lists after this. Yes.

You should. He's doing good. Off air. He's a little mouth now. I give you a hundred bucks if you get it right on the lips of first shot. He's gonna cover his whole mouth You're gonna miss and hit his fucking cheek Anyways, I have a very successful podcast. Yeah, very successful. I appreciate it It's a great show and the great and Mark normal was on the show a couple weeks ago

And he I can't tell you how many people love Mark. He fucking he killed it and him and Joe and of course everybody Joe's one of everybody's favorite They both do a show so make sure you go check out that show even though it's not on our network It's on the way more successful millions millions of people listen to that podcast Bob can we start a parenting podcast between all the right cast parents? What Can we start a... That's a Nailoo. What does that mean?

I want to start a podcast called Realized Deadcast. Yeah, you also want to stop this podcast evidently. That was a fucking... That was like a nine-foot speed bump. It was a big poo right in the middle. Right in the middle of it. Yeah. You think it's a good idea? I don't know. You're talking about it. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about

I don't even understand you that was like about parenting a podcast about Here's the thing it would be a two-week podcast. It's that's all we know we know no we know Pick him up Google Gaga ABC There was a lot about being a dad like when your baby has a 102 temperature you do a podcast He's fine. He's fine if it gets up 105, then we're in trouble. He's sent out one text and you sit back down. This poor girl's up here. Put him in a bucket of ice.

Call an ambulance, stressing out. This poor girl's in Harlem right now in a lead-based apartment. She can't leave the apartment because of black people at times. All she had to do was not fucking day to put a regan and she'd be in a way better place in life.

What if we put them in the fridge for a couple of minutes? I can't do impressions. My mom used to put me, she used to go to 7-Eleven and get slurpees and put my feet in them. All right. Woo. I already got it. Hey.

Throw it on her not on that thing. OK, so Joe, you got your podcast, Kelly. What do you have? I have my Twitter and my website. and I pull a little stuff on there. Can we do your, Kelly? Can we do your show? Can I do your show? Of course you can. Do it anytime. Really? It's always sold out. It's always like so much fun. What is the fuck is Dante gonna do other than Rhyme?

Dante can dance. Dante can strip. You have a unicycle? Yes I do. Of course you do. It's gotta be funny. It's gotta be funny. It's gotta be funny. It's gotta be funny. It's gotta be funny.

Somebody stole the rest of the bike up where you live. M, you keep going. Wow, really? I liked it. I liked it. That was a fucking great racist joke. Somebody stole the rest of the turntable. Can I recite poetry?

It's gotta be funny. It doesn't sound funny. I like clam poetry. Jeff Ross does it. Yeah. I have funny samples. Yeah. Alright, what would you have one now? ¿Sueñas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de post-grato en el extranjero de la Fundación La Caixa, puedes estudiar

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Dal paso a Sanitas y disfruta ahora de bluayud durante un año gratis. Pulsan el banner para saber más. What is it? Can you do it right now? Do it right now. I don't want to hear it. Do it. Come on. Do it. Do it. Do it. Put that on and do it. Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter.

Let's do it. Do you need a beat or do you need a... She broke my heart. You know me. I'm gonna let you know. I'm not doing it. I don't want to talk about it. Just do a little bit of it.

A little bit of it. Did you just get your headphones caught in your wristband? Your Wonder Woman wristband? Now, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to. What did you say to mood swing? What happened to you? Yeah, just because I wristband. No, I don't want to talk about it. What did you say a mood swing? What happened to you? Yeah, just because I call in and think, no, I can't hear the mic.

I can't remember all of it. So what? And it'd be the first time I did it. I'm nervous. I really want to hear some more of you. I'm nervous. Chris, I'm going to do it. I'll tell you this.

Hang on one second. I found a poem in my, when I was unpacking my office, I found a poem in my when I was unpacking my office I found a poem I wrote at a very crazy time in my life and I will call my wife right now and have her read it over the air If you remember all of the Bidget of me if I had it with me I would I would read it to you Can you read us a little bit of it? Just a little bit? I'm trying to remember it. I'm getting it. No, it is I'll read I'll have my wife read my poem Which is very vulnerable by the way no, it's just like slam poetry. I love that you can just make it up

Slam poetry is you just go off the top of your head Lynn come on. No, I don't think that's actually what's on Just just slam I'm trying to read a little bit of it. No, what's the name of it? I thought bitch. You don't know me and what's it about? Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh Real house wives of Atlanta and I came up with this You don't know any of it from the heart. She knows all she knows it right Chris Yeah, she got you know what Chris you don't know me Is that the new poem all he knows is you want to make out with him? That's all if I wanted to make out with you You've been made out with My apartment with me Oh Me alone if I wanted if I wanted to I'd have been sucked

I'm not saying you're not adorable. You know, I think we're adorable and wonderful No, how you doing? What's going on? How you feeling today? We found glasses. Are these your glasses right here? No, they're reading glasses. We don't know who's the other.

I'm not be from the glory hole podcast. All right, we'll put them back in the thing. Somebody with tiny eyes. Lewis's baby has a fever of 102 Should he be home? You really you really hear while your babies sick like that? No, he it was I got the text when I was here He was home. He was sick and he was fine this morning To do at home she's monitoring his temperature. She's gonna bring him to the hospital if he gets any higher.

I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. What is wrong with you, baby? I'm just like my dad. Would you leave? I would be out of here. Yeah, but would you really why? I believe, because I wouldn't be able to focus on the podcast

knowing my newborn baby was sick like that. This podcast means more to him than the baby though. Well, you think Robert can't handle't handle have you heard this podcast? On this podcast everyone's talking over each other. It's crazy. Baby's coming. Oh, but the podcast When are you having you ever known the baby right You know something I Wanted to look pregnant, huh? Are you having no the baby? No, oh my god. No, I'm just got so nervous He really just stopped writing his tracks. I don't know. Fuck, I'm tight.

He really just stopped writing his tracks. I want to let you know, though, is that a serious question? And you're just, yeah, one more you want another baby, right? I want another baby. Right. Have you been trying? No. That's just the nicest way to ask if you've been busting in your check.

He's splashing all. I asked permission and so far, the answer has has been so you haven't left any in. I have. It's so far. So you've been leaving it in. Yeah, but but that's what my mother told me to have a baby. She was like, why didn't you just put it in and when it's time just let go and enjoy. I go, did you just teach me how to come in my wife?

So you're trying to have a baby. No, I'm not. She apparently, she knows when I can leave it in and when I can't. That's not real. I mean, that's, yes, you can, but that doesn't work all the time. You should leave it in every time, just the hell of it. What's the point of not leaving it in?

He's not Puerto Rican. She is. She is. No, I'm just saying, no, if the thing is, like, she knows her timing and when she's ovulating and she's saying, now you can come in and be convinced. We lost Lynn. Her focus. She heard the term ovulating.

She was like, we can't do this. Two minute memories. Just the vague record. Write this down an hour and 35 minutes is Lynn's fucking attention span. And then she goes into a bag and looks for fucking games. You know Chris, of course I know. You hired him, correct? Yes.

You know he's going to be a life coach. A life coach? You know that he's ripping people, correct? Yes, you know he's going to be a life coach. A life coach? You know that he's ripping people off. That's what he wants to be. That's what he's aspiring to be. What credentials do you have to be a life coach? I'm just saying, no, what the fuck? You know, just come out of the gate with that.

No, I'm just a realist, dude. I love him. That's a valid question. You're 26. What credentials do you have to all the place he's Jewish on the plane on it he's 100% right and and you know that was brought to my attention yesterday and it's true I've been studying this material for six years it's just every single book on success on

consciousness right on on spirituality and have you ever read have you read a book on that on successors or anything of spirituality and have you ever read have you read a book on that on success or or anything of spirituality and you are success yes spirituality no really no I don't believe in spiritual no you believe in like like a good christian you want to you guys look back a really long time let me I know right see he was I got a big SD card so I never knew you know his parents or what he was born into, but he was already born into this successful paradigm. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's an agency. We've already used like three words of Robert. Robert has to look up. I mean, if he does have the band-in on it.

He's going through it. I've had the band-in over a half hour. Crazy, if you only get one shoof next week, you know why. All right. No, what you're saying, explain yourself to me. What I mean is that. What you're saying is truthful. All right, well, we have a conscious mind in our subconscious mind. We're poor

That's that's Freudian and we can get into that and whatever Next week go ahead. So basically when we're born we only have a subconscious mind We don't have the conscience So sure but that's not the If he wasn't if okay if he wasn't taught the principles of how to maintain the success, then he would have lost it a long time ago. So it's already, it's habitual. That's true.

So your children right now who are about a very, very young age, everything that you're thinking, it's being programmed into that child, whether you believe it or not. Do you think of the environment? Like, I have a fever and I'm alone. Blowing a training is being thrown in. Blowing a training and poor point is being thrown in the independent

So what I'm trying to say is that you know Between the ages of one through three. They're only subconscious right and you know your environment programs Your only subconscious you don't have a conscious mind let them know I'm sit here for a second I want because I want them to respond That's true. I don't that's your either. Oh, I don't absolutely Put the headphones on no I'm speaking here. So wait, but before one well Oh, there's no subconscious at all. All right, so what I'm trying to say, is that at birth we don't- Remember you don't try, just say.

Ah, good one, thanks, Lynn. So we develop a conscious mind as we grow up. When we're born, we don't have the ability to think. So the thoughts that we eventually develop are programmed into us by our parents, our friends, our environment. And so you came into a successful family, I'm not saying it was given to you, but what I'm saying is that, you know, whatever the beliefs are of your parents and your environment,

they created this successful way of being, of acting. I think you're thinking of a conscious mind, you're're thinking of a conscience because children don't have a conscience I mean so they're like three or four years old. It's it's the same thing a conscience. It's your thinking mind Wait What is I was you doing this for free? What is the value of what we're receiving right now? Like how much would I have to pay you to hear exactly what you're saying now? Six for now for now nothing I know but but like and What's this worth on the street? He's a student right now.

Most people in a live coach have reached a certain level of success. And then because they've reached a certain level of success, they take the lessons that they learn from being successful. That's actually backwards thinking. You're thinking that they were successful, so that makes them be able to teach success The truth is that or if you think of it this way if you if you look at no when you go he's happy because he's successful It's the exact opposite that's not what I'm saying successful because he's happy. Yeah, the exact opposite. That's not what I'm saying. Successful because he's happy.

Yeah, but he's not happy at all. And he has to stop reading my books. I've never seen no, like, already for a quad's Facebook page. I've never seen no, I'm happy. When have you ever seen no walking with a smile? It's true, maybe I didn't use that word. When he's with the baby. I've seen him smiling at times.

Happy around his kids. No, he's on me all the time. Because you're fucking looking at you. You have to, you don't get attacked him, but I've given him smile at me all the time because you're fucking look at you you have to You don't attack him for not giving him spots. He would I wouldn't it no smiles at me every time I We all say how you don't think we all smile at you because we don't want to get killed No, it's not worried about me killing me. We talked about it Nope, no, me is happy around his kids. Oh my god I'm genuinely happy to see no when I see no means a good no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no of responsibility, that way me down. Like what? Like what? That's not depression.

Like what? Like running the, running the soul. I don't know. I'm not sure you're running the book. No, I want you to tell the people I told you. First of all, I know, listen guys. I know, but the people listening don't know. So I'm trying to give them the information

so they know who you are. I know what your stress is on. The question is this, would you be happy if you didn't have those things or would you just Self-fulfillingly create more things to do no by nature. I was always a happy guy always like growing up in like in school And college I was all were you happier when you were you had less responsibility when you just had the wall and you was playing So you were happier when you just had the one club and you were playing music and getting pussy and yeah playing music making a lot less money Right, you know, I want to speak to that for just a second

No, I heard you you were in a podcast when I first started about a year ago You were interviewing with a woman and she said do you consider yourself as the owner of a comedy club who likes music or a Musician who owns a comedy club and you answered that way right so music is Chris your first problem The first problem and I can see no, literally wants to strangle you. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm saying you're first problem.

You have to work on your tone. You have the tone of a guy who invented the first robot. You know what I mean? You have to be more you. I'm listening. Yeah, you talk very like someone made you. I mean, in order to be a live coach has to be like, no, you gravitas.

You have to be like, yes. Look down at gravitas. No, I'm not. I'm a hard time. No, you're very likeable. You're very likeable. Thanks for clearing that. I think that sign was the other one that confused them.

And thanks for being able to turn your head and look at me when you said that too. Yeah, my mind. Oh, I can't turn to the right. I think he sounds, I think Chris sounds, what you guys are responding to, he sounds a little bit like a cult leader. No. Or like a, like a, like a,

it's a country town. Like a, like a, like a hippie. No, he, he sounds like, you know, the guy like a kid who read a book. You know the guy who reads the book? You ever get a book on, when the guy, he sounds like the guy who read the book.

Right. Yeah. Or do you got, yeah audio books. So you got to, you got to work on your tone a little bit and be more who you are. Are you honestly life coaching the life coach? Yeah. What would you say to Sterling right now? Rod Sterling? Is that what Sterling?

I don't know who that is. Well, I can't trust a life coach that is so disconnected with the media. Donald Sterling, he just said about black people. He hates them. He's all over the city. I never said he hates them. He was basically said he hates black people. That's where you get from Queens and Italian Queens.

That's the first guy I've ever seen. Oh, he had a point. He had a point. He felt sexually inadequate when he's in here. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there.

And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. And he was all in there. My wife was getting pictures with magic Johnson. I'd be like, oh fuck me. I'm out. You know she's fucking doing some weird shit But you know what that's what you get for being an old rich guy hanging out with a hot young girl who's looking for money Those are the consequences. She might fuck somebody else younger than you So there you go and then he got I can't believe she recorded the phone call though. That's fucking crazy Yeah, but I was saying we're all in fucking trouble

We're all in trouble if that's not happening because guess what black people are racist too Okay, pretty similar to recording this. I don't know why you looked at me for that because you're black You're beige listen, it's all fine as long as you don't get caught when you get caught is when you got a deal with the fact that you got Courts shut your fucking legal to be racist about a mine now, but I mean get caught at it. Are you racist? You're gonna fucking blow it all as much as I want. It's just down. What do you say? I don't think I'll be ready. Yeah, it's fucking absurd. And he got caught being absurd. It's fucking stupid. Oh, you got a court.

Are you got copying insecure about dating a hot, younger chick than him? And that's what he kept saying to her. He kept trying what he kept trying to do is manipulate her psychologically with these, he's trying to get her to go down the road. She needed her to beat out so he could feel like a man. When he knows, look, I'm an old fuck that really can't get it up anymore. And I don't want you going bangin' black dude,

hot pot or whoever the fuck is. I don't open a door to a group there, because the thing is, hold on, here's the thing, here's the thing, don't put a group that thing is here's a thing is don't put it out there for now all my friends are calling me up going

well she banging maxed fuck me I don't think he cares if she actually said twice he said twice in the conversation he said nothing

he's not fucking other people here's a thing though but he said I don't give a shit if you do just don't let everybody know that I'm nothing. I'm supposed to be the motherfucker to my friends, and now you're putting it out there like I ain't shit.

That's what he said, I don't give a shit if you fuck him. Just don't put it out there for the world to see. That's what he's saying, especially when he's black. Yeah, exactly. Because I'll actually, just be clear on that. I don't think that's the most racist thing I've ever heard. I wouldn't take from that that the guy wants blacks on the back of the bus or he,

or it doesn't want them moving in next to me. He might feel that way. Listen, if everybody in my life, who I know, people I'm fond of, disappeared right now, based on the fact that they had said something equally bad. And the podcast will be gone. For the people I know, people say, bad and they're podcast will be gone Oh, there are three important people I know it is people say things, but you went there yearning for a girl and and and maybe

Maybe feel intimidated by the fact that this black guy looks like it comes out of a sense of A sense of security comes out of a sense of insecurity as opposed to Hid all of us it comes out of sense of insecurity He's a guy he's a very But you got caught so you got a fucking But it here's a scare you idiot. You got caught you got to take it You should just know enough. You know, so look I fucked up. I said stuff heated and I didn't mean it But he got caught, but it sucks. Listen the way he got caught a 30 years ago you had to be in the CIA to record somebody's conversation that good

In ain't 30 years ago, but we're done in a 30 years ago, you could always record phone conversations like that. Like the pillow and take it like a jailhouse bit. The follow the radio. Shack, we built a bio radio. All the dean got busted. She's got to take it. But nobody thinks that nobody thinks that she wasn't wasn't racist.

Oh, she didn't have these racist ideas. I work, I have a day job and I work hard. We know, because we see you comedy. What, and you should keep it. What does take it mean? Take it, just take it mean that, you should get the natural consequences where sponsors and fans and players don't want to,

or just taking me in that the NBA, based, basically a thought crime, he didn't even actually done anything right. He just expressed what he was thinking. Now he has to, he's banned from, from life from the NBA and loses his team. As opposed to, let me give it a, let me give it a, as opposed to maybe like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton who made their lives supposedly hating bigotry who said much worse things and they have a table at the democratic convention.

Let me say this to the record. Oh shit. Or Alex Baldwin calling up his kid and and and and braiding him or calling somebody a fag or what or or if he had slapped his wife when he was losing his team like is right. Is that is right. This is elevated to be much worse than anything else other than killing somebody as what he said.

Who else loses a billion dollars? That means, let me tell you something. It's the clippers. It's a hundred thousand. It's a seventy five million, a guy is going to lose a seventy five million dollar asset. Based on something he thinks. He said his private in his personal life. Let me say it.

Let me say it. His was crazy about this. Somehow, whenever there's a racist conversation, Al Shomton comes into it. Black people never elevated this. Black people don't decide to pull advertisement. Black people are not even upset about this. We're all this dudes racist.

It's an old white dude who's racist. We don't give a fuck. We assume old rich dudes are wait racist. That's because you're racist. You assume it's so, that's where racism is, right? But bigotry, maybe it's a function. No, stop it, black people can't afford advertising. And the reality is, nobody is going to, black people are not going to take this guy to

task. You know who's going to take him to task? White people are going to take him to task. So what's funny is, I don't understand how the anger is what does that have to do with Al Sharpton or anything it has to do with with the the guilt the white guilt that he's gonna have. The hypocrisy that the media doesn't go after Al Sharpton for saying ridiculous that landed shit. Where's the white media? Do the white media? They don't. But they sit back. They sit in the pocket and they go, oh shit, we don't want to

come to him. Listen, because we know this guy's been classified now as Beyond the pale of polite company and 80% of people in prison are black and for for small crimes and there's no and and and black neighborhoods Don't get education and don't get funding so it all it all fucking bounce the balances out in the long term of it So let's not talk about the fact that somebody, you can't just take, pick one part of it. That you can't take one part of it and say, this is the issue and not deal with the whole issue of it. Black people are not outraged by this guy. When I speak to people, black people,

and they go, you heard about the racist shit to do. Yeah, of figures. You go with figures, it's a rich white dude. But I'll tell you something. That's a good point though. A lot more white people are outraged. I watched CNN last night and the anger, the anger, not only with just the black stuff,

the male misogynistic stuff. They were mad because this lady was infuriated that he was putting women down. Like it was, oh, what he said about it, she kept bringing it up, like what he said about women. And I was like, holy shit, there, white people are going, I haven't seen one black person angry. As much as these white people.

If somebody's black and they're angry, it's because they're making money off the fact that they're so long. The team was angry, they wore the black one. They were angry, they were angry. I don't blame them for being angry. But I saw you watch the news the blank people that are coming on the news And talking about it very calm and very they're they're not but the white people are outraged like holy shit It's all white guilt. It's really that type of that time that level of racism is just it's really gotten to the point where it's stupid

It's really gotten to the point where it's stupid. It's really ridiculously ignorant and stupid when you're looking at somebody based on their color and you're going, this is really your issue because of my color. I'm gonna pause this for one second. Lynn has to go, make sure you fall Lynn on Twitter. What's your Twitter? It's at Funny Lynn.

At Funny Lynn on Twitter. Thanks for coming back. Lynn, can I just down take one question? I want you to give me a guide on his show. Do you think that the average black guy fucks any better or worse than the average Jewish guy? The truth. What?

Yeah, yeah, do. Better. So that's what he's saying. That's what he's saying. That's what made him insecure. He thinks that the average black guy is gonna fuck that girl. I don't think I don't know. So you have the same opinion as him.

I'm not outraged by it. I'm like, is this the most racist thing a guy can feel? Yeah, but here's the thing that he was in private. It's like this girl, he got caught, he got caught absolutely. But first of all, fuck you for dating one of those money Hunger hungry bitches. That's what this gold digger you dated this fucking bitch And you got what you deserve out for those girls run out of fucking look it man Here's the thing that's not the girl you make your wife. That's the girl you fuck

That's the girl that you fucking you're careful you say no phones and you have a secure You don't make that girl and then you got caught out there. Just could you advise me, and that kind of thing is a life call. I'm gonna have to do that kind of thing. That would be awesome. I made a look for that.

Look, it's almost like San, do you think the average black guy, six foot three plays basketball better than the average Jewish? It's the same kind of thing. Yes, it's yes. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Wait, it's yes.

My point is that, my point is, so let's make this clear now. So you think yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I was a stripper for a few years. I was a stripper for 11 years. You were a musician. No, no one surprised you. No, I just said he's a musician. So I know And I thought better than Joel. Yeah, okay. Yeah No, and before I need a no man, I had some crazy woods. I believe women are dick good in them. Everybody in here, other than me. Listen to me. Women have some women have been addicted to no, and you don't get like that unless someone's in a man.

Because no, I'm just a fucking musician, that's why. I was a musician, and I'm Puerto Rican, and I got a really hot truck in the ass. I think it was. Guys, guys, guys, hey, hey, you gotta stop talking over each other. Nobody can hear. Why is nobody talking about what a cut this girl is this fucking Stop shut the fuck up Lynn go you gotta go let it go. Let me just gotta go walk a dog

I don't want I don't want it. I want it to get I mean dude look. Thank you Lynn for coming on. I appreciate it We'll see you soon Watch out. Can you, Barbara. Watch out. Can you help Lin so she doesn't hurt her hip? I don't want her to take the whole studio with her. Lin was on her phone again. I threw my hat at her and she just started looking at the hat.

She's like a newborn. She's like, whatever you put in front of you. You can look at this. No conscience. All right, go ahead. Here we go. I don't know why nobody's talking about what it cost.

She's making your conscious decision to come with a set on the coach, she's making a conscious decision to be with an old racist guy Yeah, but she's he was raised in the 40s. Yeah, he like typically people that were raised in the 40s from rich white affluent families They kind of have some big and reviews. It's just it's a it's a product of the environment It's a product of the times. I'm not excusing it a lot of people did change those thoughts But today in 2014 she's dating an 80 year old racist guy and she's fucking catfish But here's a thing though you'll put a regan so what you say we don't really care You understand no say what he said no, okay, I wasn't listening Did I lose something? Yeah, it was crazy. You look at younger kids now.

Younger kids music, music fashion. It's there's a fusion of rock music, rap music. It's all, if you just combine the word music and fashion and say fusion. That's good. There's a fusion of all of both cultures. And younger kids don't, they don't care. They don't care about culture They don't care about color. I'm sorry. They just don't care

No, she's a bitch though like You know, they don't do gipsen. He's old dude who grew up in in racer with things with more segregating more racist You it's she's a bitch That doesn't change Oh women of bitches that doesn't go because what I'm saying You're gonna need to hear he deserves it. women of bitches. That doesn't go away cause when I'm saying, you're late to hear. But he deserves it. He deserves it.

That's what you get. Hold on, well done. We got the wrong numbers. He deserved it. Deserve what, Kelly? He had a private conversation. Do you know which worse, Ranted Shit I've said in this past week? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Franchise taking away from him over some thoughts to a person that he trusted and loved the fuck out You're right. Wait wait wait the thing is though like when you're

Topless When you when you when you're an 81 year old gross dude and you get how old she 22 Say what she's gonna say alright when you're an 80 when you an 81 year old guy, and you're dating some 20 year old, you're old fucking hot ass chick. What do you expect is gonna happen? How in your brain could you never imagine she's not gonna use something? Cause she's always used what she looks like

to get what she wanted. How would you not think she was gonna do that to you? Okay, there he is. There are 80 year old billionaires, stop it. There are 80 year old billionaires that are dating 20-year-old hot, gorgeous models right now, all over the place. And they are not trying to fuck those guys because these 20-year-old girls are trying to be with this guy until they fucking die and then they get all their money, okay?

This guy wasn't worried that she was gonna go and try to fucking, I mean, can I say something real quick? This is a sport. This is almost like a job for these women. Yeah. Sure. I mean, it's a sport. This is almost like a job for these women. Yeah. There's a, but this is a hub, but there's, it's a, it's their job to go and meet players, owners, rich men, the black or white, doesn't matter to go out there. And that's their money. That's how they're going to survive is through

these people. Am I correct? Yes. Right? Yeah. So here's this guy. But he knows this. He knows that he hooked up with this girl because he's only just falling in love with her I believe that when he said I'm falling in love with her. I'm in love with you. It's kind of if you listen to the cover. It's kind of sad. It's really sad. It's really sad when you hear this guy trying to manipulate her into saying I love you. I'm sorry. I'll never do all he wanted to hear was I love you. I'll never do it again. You are the man. Because he used to be the man. He probably used to be the motherfucker.

And there's nothing worse in life than not being the motherfucker anymore. But if you want to have realization. If you want to be the man, you can't be with a 20 year old, a 20 year old life coach. You can't, you can't. Look at, you, look at, he fucked up.

Well, he just got out of a marriage. He's going to divorce his wife. So He's fucking hooked up with a hot chick and he fell in love with her That's basically it. Yeah, and that's not we're not a He fell in love with that cuz he probably hadn't beaten fucked in the last like no He's halloween. He's fucking horrid regardless But can I say something did you hear what she kept doing you didn't hear the fucking she kept Baby I'm sorry babe. She kept saying sorry Can I say something? Did you hear what she kept doing? You didn't hear the fucking, she kept, oh baby, baby. I'm sorry, babe. She kept saying sorry.

Baby, what, Rubby? I love you. Exactly. She gets the more, they were both manipulating each other. Sure, sure. It's a fucking sick relationship. I think he should be able to say whatever the fucking wants to say. I agree.

Like, I don't think that anybody should be, but to make a big thing about this, that some old dude, some old rich dude, might be racist is absurd. He has the problem about that. But everybody knows it, right? He has stuff for you to take away. If it was a regular 80 year old guy,

no, we'll give a fuck. You would never agree with that. No, we'll give a fuck. I don't think that anybody should be with him. I don't think that anybody should be, something should be taken away from them because they said something racist. I don't think so. Why they want to take it away? I don't think that anybody should be something should be taken away from them because they said something racist I don't think so. I think that and I don't think it's great point there. It's like as comics

I'm afraid of the liberal media or the right wing media or whoever then being the people to dictate what's offensive What's not offensive? Which words we can say which ones we can't say? I would rather say hey do let that guy be racist I don't got to be fucking friends with him. I don't have to play for his fucking team. I don't do any of that shit. Okay, but don't don't sit there and say oh my god I can't say these were taking away all the sponsors from the team No, they're not taking away. They just don't want to be associated with that Why is it on their own? I don't want to be Why? That affects the players, but you have that affects the black players not the owner But it does yes affects the players, but you have that affects the black players, not the owner, but does. Yes, does. Everybody. Yeah, but why are they

weak? Why are they being punished? But the question is, the real question is why are they taking it away? Because they're taking it away. Why? Because they don't think that racism exists. No, because they're trying to hide the fact that the racism does exist. If this, they're almost going, oh my God, I can't believe this happened. This is an outrage. It's bullshit. Nobody thinks that this is an, nobody's outraged by this. They're afraid of the money. They're afraid of the money. They're afraid of the NBA. The NBA doesn't want to lose those sponsors. And then the players are mad. They don't want to play the club is they got to get them out. They're going to lose money. That's a third

one 30th of their league. Now, how do you think they're going to get them out because they are you there these bad now he's banned from mba for what will happen is he a little bit he's banned from mba for life and then I guarantee you over the course year they'll just talking down like you got a sell it to you got a conference they already happened the head of the mba came out and he has to tell the team no no he didn't say it they did not say he there's no right for him to sell a team no that if they've two thirds If they have two thirds of the people that are at the top of the NBA

They can make a decision and he can fight that till the day he dies and he will fight that in court Three or two years. Yeah, he's gonna take the team. I'm sure I don't think that black people in that taking the team Five that was your back. That's the point But actually you just made a great point because you didn't, that if he does fight it until he dies, then whoever inherits it from him, let's say his kid. My kid, a girl. He inherits from it.

How that would be great. Would the NBA then still come after whoever? Probably not. Because the Sun and the Law already came out and said, I don't, you know, I don't know. He's a lot of stuff. He runs the team as well. He's like, I don't, he's a bigot, but a lot.

I want to be dissociated with him really In the service because the media treats it the way does you have to say that yeah behind closed doors Look this motherfucker's probably they're probably in dinner. They don't really give a shit But you have to and I think it's kind of a sad state of affairs that that has to be the first you have to throw your family under the bus Yeah, because he was tape saying some stupid cookie shit. It's just bus because he was tape saying some stupid cookie shit. It's just stupid. But they have a history of racism, some kind of history of racism.

Yeah, he's been sued a few times by like, he owns like, I guess like shitty buildings, and apparently they said that he's racist, but any landlord who owns buildings, that's one of the first things that minorities go at. Is there a racist that we sue them? Especially, and also if you fire somebody. Yeah, definitely.

Well, look, Chris, here's a deal. I just wanna say, it's not black people that are taking his team. No, you're right. I have to let them in the black. I'm not blaming the blacks. Hey, that's what a lot of people. It does.

It's fun. It's, it's, it's, it's, no. It's liberal white guy against racist white guy. I don't know what to say. I'm trying to explain. What is the precedent here is, is, is, is now, when it comes out, because you're, these conversations

You're recorded all the time that somebody thinks has an offensive belief Yeah, and expresses that belief to somebody intimate to him. It's coming to that though I would like a list of the beliefs which entitled you to lose your Patriot against blacks is while must I don't think racism is even one. I think hatred against blacks is one I don't think hatred against whites go to qualify You'll definitely you know you'll definitely qualify no, no, no, I don't I don't think I don't look at looking at now Gibson Well, if she if he had said this, I don't like to see you out with that with that Jewish guy

I don't think it would be not what happened. I don I don't think anyone happened. Nothing happened to Mel Gibson. He's been in movie since. He's fine dude. No I bet it took a while. It's not fine. It's not for a year or a second. But you have the whole Christian. He's not fine.

You have that whole Christian. He's not fine. You have that whole Christian. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, they, they, they, a paca-lip dough, which is one of the greatest movies of all fucking time was not nominated or even considered for anything. Okay. Which is ridiculous. He was, that, that he was taken out of the business. Does he do cameos once? Yeah. He does shitty movies now. We're talking about one of the greatest directors, actors. He was at the top of the,. You know why be enough for just telling the truth He was supposed to be in the hangover, but they can't be real. Let's do He is not fine. So go ahead. I'm sorry to drop, but that's he's not but the reason why he's still reason why he still has the cameos

And still has the things he has is because there's a whole Christian a Christian Movement behind him that supports him You know who's behind him that supports him, you know, who supports? They have behind him the whole, who supports the Jews more than anybody, Christians. Well, you know, you know, because, because they think that the,

not the blacks, because Israel is where Jesus is coming back. So Israel is where Jesus is coming back. Sure. And they want that land protected and they don't want a bunch of Palestinians over there, fucking trash and all. Yeah. Because then the second coming won't happen if they if they really

In the end, everybody's seminar middies politics, Jesus Well, it's also not everybody's loving this because it's it's must see TV now everyone's I want to get a spn. Love you. I'm jealous. Okay, I'm gonna show for two years Dude as a as a comment you can, you can, let's talk. He hasn't talked to me. Well, just say everyone's loving this. ESPN, the ratings are all too low. Because it's great.

Everyone will be all over the world. But that is only talking about this. They love it. That's all it's about. Yes, it's all it's about money. It's every day they're dying for somebody to die, a twist you to come through a town, a fucking tsunami. Someone to say something fucked up.

It's fucking nuts. Of course, the Boston marathon bombing is the most exploited event in the history of sports. It's a barricade. No, it's a barricade. Some people were in the way. I'm a survivor, by the way. You're not a fucking survivor. I was there.

You were five blocks away. One mile. Dude, you can't, as a comic, you cannot say, Faggot on stage now. Like, you, there's a difference. You can feel a difference. There is a difference in this. In my share. I don't think Faggot is a word that you should use on stage. An anger or like you. When I'm talking about an anger, how would you use Faggot? I would use Faggot and a joke. He really threw it under the bus right there. Yeah. Like, how would you use faggot? How would you use faggot in a joke? He really threw it under the bus right there.

Like, I thought you would, no, you would just faggot. I'm just, here's, can I come up with a point? Thank you. You're list. Yes, well here's part of some of PC stuff makes sense.

It's when there's repercussions, if you say faggot on stage, and the audience is like, ah, that's a positive thing. We were using word faggot that is horribly offensive, and we're like, hey, that's a positive thing. We were using word, Faggot that is horribly offensive and we're like, hey, we're not using that anymore. Oriental or Negro, whatever the fact.

Some of this is like, that's offensive, we get a stuff saying that. When you lose your career because of it, that's when it's a problem. If you say to a Faggot for a room for people in the light, hey, we don't really like that. That's good.

That's good. We have this people protecting people. Where does it start and where does it end? Either you're gonna let people say what they wanna say, or you're not gonna let people say what they wanna say. is it thought? That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good, oh, that's what you listen.

But that's how you, that's how exactly you become a better comedian because you, ah, that joke really stinks. But you need that flexibility to become a better comedian. You have to go out there. But the funny comes from, funny comes from the same place that not funny comes from. But I'm saying it comes from trying to be funny.

You're saying it's such a big difference. I'm saying if you bomb because you said, Faggot, that's not a terrible thing. If you get fired because you said Faggot, I don't know how to how do people go from getting fired to bombing. It's the same path. I think it's funny and I don't think that any one word should be banned. If you can make the word Faggot funny in a joke, you should be able to do it.

Because the way the media just blows things out of proportion with Faggot, Negro or whatever it is dude everyone is super sensitive. It's nobody actually cares So people in Boston use word faggot with each other every day But when they're in a room of people and they're looking around and they go oh shit If I laugh at the word faggot right now, I'm gonna look like I'm a big it because the media Wait hold up the guy the guy just like two weeks ago, the guy who invented JavaScript had to step down from his chairmanship in Mozilla because he donated a thousand dollars to this referendum to against gay marriage. You know about that? I didn't know about that. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. Not as smart as you.

This was you. This was a, this was a, this was a, he, none of us know what the hell. You almost knew it. I never had not a referendum he donated a thousand dollars uh... in uh... in uh... in alignment with the position that at the time baracle bama had the same position right and obama had gone a record saying that he's he believed it because his christian beliefs taught him that game marriage was between a man and a woman and this guy donated a thousand dollars because he had to be civil union and i gave a thousand dollars what a cheap bastard and he lost his he lost his job.

That's a problem. He was out of the Mozilla and he is a big big shot. And by the way, hold on, the truth of the matter is like, look, I just feel like that. I think gay people should be able to get married. But at the same time, can you not say the truth of the matter anymore? We get it.

Just say what you're gonna say. Gay people should be able to get married. But at the last time, you don't have to agree with my opinion. If you have a, if you have a, your beliefs are based in a strong Christian Belief system that you were raised with then you stupid Dude them were stupid they think we're done. No, we're right and wrong. Everyone has the right to their own opinion stupid Nobody should lose their fucking jobs over having a belief that they're not hurting anybody all the king

Marluthy king believe all that Christian stuff The whole stupid whole civil rice movement was with couch and and fought for and on bases of religious It was stupid the reason that gay marriage wasn't even asked the first time with prop 8 was because of the black community Everyone came out be to vote for Obama Yeah, it's gross and then the byproduct of that was they're like we're not letting fangs get married You're fucking mind. He does read the papers You're fucking mind. It does read the papers, yeah. It's absolutely the truth.

It's true. The papers, the papers. All right, listen, the point of it, we're gonna end because it's five o'clock, and we all know it happens at five o'clock here in the studio, the internet goes down because apparently downstairs, the way to shift and the internet stinks, and then the video crashes,

everything goes away, so. It's a hell of a bomb. Yeah, it's uh ha ha ha that was a lengthy bomb book we're gonna we're not gonna we're not gonna solve anything here today i think we will i think we i think we i think we saved lives today it was very interesting as soon as Lynn left it got very uh... got smarter yeah she was fucking tripping on pills did she do that she wanted to my my podcast she what happened she destroyed it

she is wouldn't stop talking really Really, what do you mean? I don't know, everybody. I didn't, I'm like, she was on pills or something one time. No, she's actually good now. Whatever she's taking now, you can actually throw tinful on her and she'll just stare at that for like 10 minutes. Just keep throwing stuff at her and she'll stare at it. So then shiny.

I see her, she was on her phone. I was doing this with on fingers and she just kept focus. I threw, I threw a hat at her face and hit her. She got mad for a second, but then she looked down at the hat and started reading that. Like, what is this? She feel it?

No, she didn't feel it. She made me so mad this weekend. Hit me in the head with her pocketbook. I'm sitting at the table. She's got this pocketbook. I just block away. But she's got to carry everything in her life in it. Apparently, there's a wrench in the bottom of it.

Hit me in the head. It hurts so bad. I'm like, what the fuck? She goes like, oh, what wrench in the bottom of it hit me in the head It hurts so bad. I'm like what the fuck? She goes like oh what happened? I go you hit me in the head. Well, you're stupid punk book Then she grabs my arm and punches me as hard as she can and it hurts so bad I'm like ah she goes now you're not thinking about your head. Oh God. She likes you. No, that means she's fucking insane She got all sorts of dramatic That's a cartoon trick. That's like a fucking sitcom thing that you really don't do in life. Anyways, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling,

she was, she was good today. She was, she was focused. So did she talk about last comic standing? No. Was she in it? Yeah, as far as I know, she, she, uh, I don't want to be leaving this. I'm not, I'm not, I'm, don't say anything.

But I love that you'd really just fuck everything and just tell everybody everything. I asked Did she talk about you say what she in it? Yeah, but you're not supposed to answer I fuck You're I Robert I'm sorry. Anyway, all right listen don't they thank you for coming on. I gotta have you ever done his show You should come to my show you gotta go to Brooklyn to do it though. He why you put him on a for he no, no, I would love to have you in no, he loved it love to have a shock Come but you go to Brooklyn. I'm what actually fucking crush on in your show. No, no, yeah, no, no really would he be great I go to Brooklyn. I pick you up No, I drive now get I don't want to get a call Get picked up

Get picked up get picked up get picked up. Yeah, you know Yeah, but not where your people live he lives in that part where he's people live two blocks from people I'll park where my people live East in Parkway. I'm really read two blocks from Eastern Parkway. I'm really right to black for me some parkway one block from Eastern Boston. This is dad day what's your podcast? It's beige fill up dot com base relationship Podcasts on from a male perspective. You had to get pussy without getting throw cancer, right? Yes I do teach my friend my friend got my very good friend got throw cancer from eating pussy You're which friend my very good friend Joe Yanetti, he's a funny guy from Boston. Great guy. He's got throw cancer. HPV, yeah.

Yeah, unfuckin' believable. Eight pussy. How long do you eat pussy for? Four hours. Straight? Yeah. No, I'm not scared. I'm scared of eating it from so much.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just one time. Well, an exercise, you want a problem. Oh my God, that's not true. I eat pussy all the time. Yeah, just one, right? Do she have HPV? I assume, I don't know. You don't have HPV. She can find out, right? Can't they find out?

Yeah, there's a chance. She knows she has it. She knows if she's got it. If she's got it, she's got it. She's had her server scraped a couple times. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. God. Here's a deal. Find out if she has it. If she has it, you got to make a choice. But even with it, when in HPV, they also, they, they have to be the particular Actually, what is it? There's a bunch of viruses that are qualified to be but the Subtle difference. Yeah, and it's like two or three of them which are associated with Historical cancer and I guess the one associate with the warts is not associated with cancer. Yeah, which is nice Yeah, okay, so you know what they they there's some overlap. She have warts. No, okay

They do some overlap. Do she have warts? No. Okay, then you The warts can be on the inside. I still want to know if I Girl's clean dude. She's fine. She's very clean. Yeah, she looks clean. Yeah, she's not good. I still want to know if I can get H. But Kelly's pussy. We're worried about yeah. Well, no, I want to know if I can get H. But if I suck a dick that has H. H. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, why. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. because it's like four or a half. No, not free. The vaccine doesn't work after years or an age. Really? Yeah, look that up. Kelly's bombing. You know, a lot of stuff.

She lied about the genus and diseases. You know, Lewis, I tell you what, he could just make that up though. We don't know. Now, Lewis is a very, he's well read. Well, not well read. He's better read than you think. Yeah.

He's surprised. You know what I'm saying? That's why it might be the smartest Puerto Rican. That's why I really like Lois, because he's a game show. That's why I don't have H3V because I've had those injections. You're less, are you smarter than a Puerto Rican? Yes, you game show over. Lois, you got your show, when did you show coming out?

Hammer fisting? No, we got hammer fisting, which is your show. Where you talking to one of my show coming out of show this weekend was gonna be this is for the live people listening right now this may second and third me and christopher only press uh... new haven can etiquette joker's wild unfuckin bleeper going to frank pepies on saturday night after the show we can hammered at a bar on friday night after the show so i'm trying to get christmas couple to fight with somebody

all you have to say outside the whole thing was to fight this weekend still bro it's not It's not new. Hey, this is why and this is why he is Never gonna live up to his potential because he's still a fucking street fuck He doesn't know when to fucking he's got it first headline gig a lot of fans Listen a lot of a lot of fans a lot of fans coming from this show to support him And he's like I love rowdy shows People scream out. Let's get into a fight. I mean, he's a fucking more Bobby you're very negative. He is vastly surpassed his potential Now you got your free show where you don't good come to the middle of the labs may 15th

It's gonna be labs dark comedy show Upstairs there upstairs upstairs theme show. Yeah, it's comedy in the dark The it's just you can just hear the jokes can't see anything. It's gonna be fun I'm gonna get to the stage. We have ushers. I think go to the bathroom. You don't it's one hour You're gonna go here's a deal. You're really gonna know how shitty these jokes. Yeah, okay We're gonna have to experiment and jobs making out I love that great to the idea is great. Do the ideas as an experiment Can you make people laugh without the visual aspects without the official?

Just play albums Yeah, and if you want to come down to the comedy seller for two sold-out shows with the top comedians and they have lights on them So you can actually see them tell the girls it's just a fun different thing dude. Yeah, all right go see you know go support it and the best part is free so you know you're getting your money spot but you want to do it? No, no, why not? Alright, cuz I I'm gonna be here doing shows. You know that. I do. I actually booked myself May 15th May 15th I'll be here. Yeah, I'll make sure I'm here. All five four shows at the seller. Alright, so alright Joe, what do you got? Just the podcast Tuesdays with stories on iTunes show here. All five four shows at the cell. All right, so I

Joe, what do you got just the podcast Tuesdays with stories on iTunes, a sound cloud and check it out. Chris, it's a great show. It's Mark Norman. Like I said before, and Joe to the funniest guys that ever stepped foot in this studio. And they have their own show together. And it's an amazing show, very funny. It's got millions of listeners. We've gotten $ $500 to put like gift cards. Right. Yeah. You know Mark Norman. Yeah, yeah, great. Really good. You should go their podcast. I love he can't do he's got a lot He's got a big norm and is really really funny. He's great. He's so funny. Um, and then right here. No

I would say the same thing if he was here and you weren't here. Mark Nome is very, very fun. Mark Nome is really funny. I'm not known who's the funniest man. I want to thank you guys. Scopo, what do I got? But this weekend, just if you're listening live, I'm gonna be Atlantic City with Nick DePolo

on Thursday night at Harris. We got one show at eight o'clock. Me and him, where co-headline in this show, it's gonna be a great show. Did you take my job? You're open for Nick? No, I'm actually headlining. Is this Thursday? He's actually, I think he goes up first.

He goes up first, we switch off, so it's a great show. Can I come, Robert? Yes. Do you wanna go? Yeah, okay. Thursday night in Atlantic City? Thursday night in Atlantic City. You gonna go?

No, but I'll go now. No, I'll drive. I swear I'll go you know, okay, I fucking do it I'm ignoring Kelly now. Let me go. You want to come? I got I got I got I got for you know, for season I got for season my car Okay, great. So I got for you. I don't worry about it for tickets for tickets Okay, I'm sure it's okay with my wife Don't worry about it. Four tickets? Four tickets. I got to go get that. I'm sure it's okay with my wife, but then you're not going. I'm sure.

But now you're not going to get it. Yeah. She was fighting. We go to do CPR last night at the place. I walk in there fighting with the guy on how long the class is. All I heard about that. His mother, her, his wife and the mother-in-law. And the mother was like, I can't do this.

I got arthritis. She's like, I can't, she's like, all right, fuck it. Don't push so hard. This guy literally gave up. He's like I can't do this. I got arthritis. She's like I can't she's like all right fucking don't push so hard. This guy literally gave up. He's like all right. Let's because they said he's all alone with two babies and we're all like all my my mother-of-all came home and she said I said how was it she goes. All Robert kept saying is I want to be team leader. I want to be team leader. Well they really team leader. Well, they really say that wrong. No, they go, we need a team leader. And he voted me, but I know it made, you know,

Nicholas wanted to be leader. I was like, I'm team leader. So I kept on just playing it up. This guy didn't get it though. I kept going, I'm team leader, right? Anytime he'd ask somebody, I'm gonna do something. I go, hang on one second, Tony. But I'm still team leader.

He's absolutely you. Like, you're like Lewis, when he moves. I was, you're like Lewis. This guy, our class at the team Lee is absolutely you to like you're like Lewis moves. I was like this guy. I was at the rotary club, you know, like the Kiwana club, the CPR class, they're very, very serious with it. Like, you know, so I was doing exactly what he wanted. So you have to walk in room clear. And don't go speak to my wife, like speed it up.

Stop, stop talking so fucking. They all hated me last night. I love it They fucking hated me. I'm like I'm team leaders clear. I need an AED Paul 911. He is unconscious. This guy loves me though They had to be careful because they gave you a certificate if you we didn't get it right But but but if they did and then yeah, if then they did if you didn't actually take the course right they could get sued for that Yeah, no he was a good course. It was very quick. He was a good guy and now now we all know CPR except for you It's up to you you you get to bail out of the kids choking So that's it. So no check out his podcast. What is it all again? I know it's not on us

Who's podcast mine? Yeah, what is it? I know it's not on us. Who's podcast mind? Yeah, what is it? I'm on serious XM radio. Yeah, serious. Look at how I got. I got the college. I'm the one who came up with the show. I heard it going the night by the way.

Well, don't come up with say like that. I'm the one who came up with it. I'm on serious XM radio. And it was on Saturday night. Well, it's on Thursdays at seven o'clock and then they replayed twice on Saturday. Yeah, it's called Live. You guys are wondering where the show went on our network.

He took it and- I'm thinking of coming back though Robert. He Oakwood, love it, have you back. He took it and put it on serious. So if you guys are a fan of Live from the table, which is one of my favorite shows with no-omn, Natamin, and a bunch of comics, it's unbelievable. Make sure you check it out on a serious satellite. Chris, you're gonna be a life coach someday. But until then, you can get fries.

Very fat, no, what do you got, buddy? Thanks, no. You know, I didn't really mention this, but actually, I teach men how to talk to women. I kinda, I don't like to tell what- I know, we're gonna have to listen. We're gonna have you back on with Dante. Dante, you should have him.

Yeah, no, I just, when I heard that, I was like, you should have him. Yeah, I know, I just, I when I heard that, I was like, I'd love to be a part of school, man. All right, I would love to, do you talk to them? I, when you're coming back on. Cool, thank you. I gotta have this asshole. No, not a good one. We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna really,

really be a part of it. Yeah. Have you ever actually used a dental dam with a woman? No, he's talking to the microphone. Okay, he said no. All right, listen, you go, my other, I'm gonna stress factory Friday night. I'm at Harris with Nick on Thursday.

Stress factory at New Brunswick on Friday and Saturday. I was gonna bring Lewis and this asshole, but they're both doing Lewis's first headlighting day. Not my first headlighting day. So, I mean, that's a better show, Bobby. I know. Check it out, go to robbercullylive.com. I'm a Bikipsi at the Chance Theater, May 10th. I'll be there too. You know come with me on that one. Do you know?

I will though. No, you know, I just point Kelly for stucco. Oh, May can I come June, uh, June 05 off the hook comedy club? June 5th. Sorry June 5th 6th 7th I'm at off the hook and a Jesus Christ I'm there for a while. But anyways, go to my website, robberkillelive.com, download my award winning Robert Kelly app off iTunes. It automatically tells you where I'm gonna be. We got the riot cast app,

and we got the brand new riot cast website, which is amazing. Video, it's got photos, it's easy to navigate and has all our amazing shows right up there on riotcast.com. Make sure you support all the shows. You guys are great. Thank you for listening to the You Know What Dude podcast.

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