Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - It’s Called Riffing | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #32

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss Luis’ Coffee Company, Nate Bargatze’s amusement park, can celebrities get in Disney for free, if Gene Hackman’s dog ate him, Jamaica, Gabby Petito, if they’d protect their sons, who the funniest gay stand up is, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607  SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/  Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez  Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/  Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  VIIA Use code “REGZ” to get 15% off Mando Get 40% off Mando Starter Pack with code “REGZ” Sheath Use code “REGZ” to get 20% off your first order Lucy Get 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” Small Batch Cigar Use code REGZ10 for 10% off plus 5% rewards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. What's up, everybody? We're back. It's the regs. We've got Joe List, Dan Soda, and Luis J. Gomez, and me, Bobby Kelly, and that's it. Go. We were already going. I thought we were already recording. We were already going.

I want to get to the bottom of what's upsetting Dan. Dan, why are you in a bad mood today? Why are you gaslighting me? I'm not gaslighting you. I'm not gaslighting you. Thank you. Dan is actually in a good mood. He was sick for a couple of days. He's thinned out.

He's back and he's good. Your cheekbones are popping. You were sick again? They are fucking. No, I had food poisoning. Yeah, you look good, Dan. You look real thin. Which is sick.

You should stay like this. Dude, when you... Can you give Bobby something that you ate? The Caesar salad I ate in LA. I brought it with me. I can't wait till he gets fat again. Me? You know it's coming.

Me? Yeah, do you think you'll ever get fat again? Yeah, 100%. I said, wait, what is this? Every episode, you're coming at Bob about this weight business. You really are. He weighs 175 pounds less than his peak weight.

I lost a middle-aged woman. What did he gain? Because that's all he's got is your fat. Right. And then it'll go to your old. that's all he's got is your fat. Right. And then it'll go to your old. You're stupid. Oh, you're fat. You're old.

And just when you didn't think you could change it. I have other things. You're bad at math. And he goes, ooh, how did you know that one? I am bad at math. You don't know what I got. Dan, you do seem like you're in a little bit of a mood. What was that?

You don't know what I got. You don't know what I got. What does that mean? You said you got one thing. Oh. I'm not in a mood at all. mood. What was that? What was it? You don't know what I got. You don't know what I got. What does that mean? You said you got one thing. I'm not in a mood at all. He's fine. There's nothing wrong with Dan.

Why, what is the rift happening? We've drawn a line. It's you, it's you. Put your finger in my face again, I dare you. You draw a rift. I fucking dare you. You draw a rift. You're so slow.

You draw. Hey, you. If he grabs that in the wrong way, it's a broken finger on the ring. Lewis doesn't know how to goof around. He doesn't know how to goof. He'll fucking snap your finger off. He'll snap a finger.

It is true. It's like when you watch one of those animal trainers wrestling with a bear and it gets too serious and they have to like stop and let go a little bit, they're like, please, let go, let go. Well, you gotta show confidence. No problem. With Lewis playing with Lewis, you gotta show confidence.

Yeah, you gotta show confidence with me. If you even fuck around a little bit, I'm gonna start biting you. He goes, okay guys, he's got my arm. Guys, hey guys? This is, how long has it been since we recorded? Like a month? Couple weeks.

Three, three weeks. I think it's three weeks. Yeah, it's a couple weeks. What are you drinking, Bobby? What the fuck is going on? Are you turning into a Ninja Turtle? What's happening? Are you drinking the ooze?

I'm trying to maybe get another sponsor for the regs. What the fuck is that? What is that? Magic Mind. Magic Mind. And then you got a red business too. Bobby has three beverages right now. This is my vitamins for the day, and this is...

What is that? Bobby has to drink his vitamins in soda? They go, no Bobby, it's your special sippy. This has a bunch of shit in it to help you. Bobby's got a baby bottle that he's drinking his vitamins in. They feed him like a panda that won't feed off its mom. Lewis gets a good one and just keeps going. That's what you do.

Yeah, that's what you do. It's called riffing. Damn, just sexual tension's crazy. I'm in a good mood, but there's definitely a good mood. I'm in a fucking great mood. I'm glad to be back. You're not in a good mood. I'm so happy to be here. The taco just buzzed again. What are you talking about? You're you're jolly to be here

Sharper mind lower stress. What is it? Oh, yeah, if this works, it's really good. What's in it? What is the this looks like it was made? What are the words? You know, it looks like it was it looks like it's in a Key West hotel bathroom You're drinking you're drinking shampoo from Key West He goes it's in a Key West hotel bathroom. You're drinking shampoo from Key West. He goes, it's called Irish Spring. Wait, can I have one? Yeah, you want? Yeah, sure.

Give that to Luke. You can't read the thing. They make it so you can't read it. Yeah, I have really bad eyesight. It's got lions mane. It's got all kinds of stuff. Lions mane? Yeah, lion, like a mushroom.

Let me see. Give it a look. It's mushrooms? No, no mushrooms. No, no, no. They shave a lion's face. Helps with your memory and your calmness and relaxes you. Matcha green tea, ashwagandha. Matcha green tea won't calm you, that gets you jacked up.

By the way, a lot of these ingredients are on the coffee brand that I'm launching. You're launching a coffee brand? Oh my God. Jinx, you owe me a Coke. All right, done, we'll buy it after. We'll sip out of the same straw. Probably be like, dude, please give me that Coke. Dude, can we please go get a Coke together?

Can we sit in a soda booth and talk? Is that how you roll? You just go right... Yeah, it's called riffing. Who is it called? Riffing. You have a coffee brand? What comedy turning into you? I don't know, but let's get into this because this opens up so many questions I have.

Why are you launching a coffee brand? Because we're not shills. We don't talk about it. We'll never talk about it on the show ever. What? We are right now. It has nothing to do with me being a comedy. You don't think your coffee brand is going to be an ad on the show?

It has anything to do with coffee. You don't think we're going to be fucking salivating? Guys, seriously, I know we joked around a lot at first, but this coffee is incredible. Thank you for taking a moment to think. What's it called? We want to take a moment to thank Body Brain Coffee. Body Brain Coffee is not it.

B.B. Why are you saying that? Don B.B. Why brain? Because it has Lion's Mane, and it has Ashwagandha and L-theanine and it has... Is that your coffee? Is that yours?

No, it's Body Brand. Oh, are those your rivals? Is that TJ Miller's peanut butter? That's his peanut butter. That's great. TJ Miller has peanut butter? He has hot sauce. It's great, it's great hot sauce.

Hot sauce is great. This feels like a dream. Like you're like, I woke up and TJ Miller is sell peanut butter. They don't want to sell t-shirts anymore and hats. Yeah. Merch is out. So they want to sell different. First of all, I've always wanted to launch a product. I've run multiple businesses. I have literally six LLCs that I own that you guys have. Yeah. So fucking, so be a fucking,

I'm sorry. I literally, I'm a nonstop idea. You're literally drinking the stuff that's in my coffee and then you're acting like it's not a good idea. I wake up, I have ideas. Well, maybe if you give me free coffee, I'll give you a non-stop idea. You're literally drinking my stuff that's in my coffee, and then you're acting like it's not a good idea I wake up I have I maybe if you give me free coffee I'll give you a bunch of free coffee then I'm in I do a meditation or then I have a lot of ideas my idea board I have six LCS And I said that cuz how he looks I don't drink coffee, but I support your coffee company. Honestly, I better get a shit ton of beans.

I've been working on it for like eight months. Where are you getting it? Are you doing beans or grounded? It's a... Incident. It's what? It's incident. It's innocent?

It's innocent. It's for children. So you can just... Coffee for kids. Hot water and then make it. Hot water or cold water. So you can bring it on the road in the hotel rooms. You can just make your and then make it. Hot water or cold water. So you can bring it on the road in the hotel rooms. You can just make your, that's a good idea.

I love that. When Lewis is feeling himself. But is it gonna be dark roast or is it gonna be light? Medium roast. Why? Because I like dark coffee. I'm assuming product three, product four will get some different.

Product three and four? Who are you paired with? Who are your growers? Guys, let's move on. Are they Guatemalan? I just wanna, this is very, what are you paired with what were your grow who are your growers guys let's move on are they Guatemala I just want to everyone that listens to this knows all four of us this is interesting I've read the reddit fans don't like we talk about well it's not even that I it's not ready to be purchased yet, so I don't wanna. Let's go, let's get a little hype going, baby. Let's get the buzz going.

Sign up for my mailing list. You guys will get all these. You already signed us up. Louis of Skank. Fuck your mailing list. I wanna know what war-torn country you're getting these beans from. Originally, they were Ethiopian.

Whoa, that's a lot. But we changed it. Guatemala. No, it's Arabica. What? Arabica. Aruba? Aruba beans. No, it's arabica. What? Arabica. Aruba? Aruba beans.

Aruba Ray is my CEO. He is also in the team on the show, following Brian Scott. You gotta keep it clean. I got kids in the audience. That is so funny. Lewis, I am here to sell you beans. I bought five magic beans from this African.

I said he's gonna turn it into coffee. Ethiopia's far. Isn't that more expensive? Shouldn't you get it from Colombia? I'm not using Ethiopian anymore. Yeah. Did you go there and hold the beans? Did you smell them? Yeah, I-

Did you go? I conceptualized the whole thing. I came up with all of it. I've been testing every supplement. The beans going through his hands. I had- Oh, perfect for my blend. I had below average testosterone,

so I wanted to make it a coffee that would boost your testosterone. What is it? A coffee that would boost your testosterone. What is it? A coffee that would boost your testosterone. Boost your testosterone. It would boost your testosterone.

So now, is coffee a good business to go into? Can you make some good profit off it? I think so. Of course. Ever hear of Maxwell House? That kind of thing. You ever heard of Folgers? Yeah, no, I think so.

I got a jingle. The best part of waking up. It's hey, fucking motherfucker, check your tea. Is it low bitch? Yeah, you're a fag, drink my coffee. That's funny. We should make some commercials. Oh, dude, I'd love to do a jingle for Lewis. When it's Lewis in the morning.

They brought up 50 to 64% of independent coffee shops fail within the same time. Is that a coffee shop? Yeah, they're saying the coffee is a brand, dog. It's a brand. A lifestyle. Look, 80% of businesses fail within two years, so it's better than the average. Wow, that's a good one. 95% of restaurants fail. Do you have a name for it yet? Yeah I said it already. Why don't you listen? It's just fucking yapping. It's called mind and body coffee. Body brain coffee. Bad body coffee. It's called put your body in my mouth coffee. Bad body coffee. It'd like any one of us to be on the

cover. Damn dude. Where's the bomb denna? I think they didn't get a laugh because I have a great bond. Where is the what's the logo? The logo? Yeah I'd love to see the logo. Let me see the fucking logo. Where's that bomb denna? Where's the bomb denna logo? What buddy? It's literally on your foot. I found your foot. Bobby walks around with it tied to his ankle. What are you in the rockers? What are you in the Rockers? What are you in the Midnight Express? Dude, I saw a girl today and I thought of you. I talked to Sarah about it. My witness, this woman looked exactly like one of the nasty boys. She had a blonde and I was like, it's so tempting to walk back and take a photo

and send it to you and Matt Wayne. It was dead on. He was like chubby and had a fucking clean shave. Oh my God, you should have. I don't hate it. Let me see. I don't hate it. What's that I hate about it? Oh, I like it. It's got the bean in the arm and the head.

I like that. Bean in the arm and the head and the arm and the head. You know what that was? I've spent so much money launching this. I hope this makes you a gazillionaire. I will never show back up for this show. That's why I hope he makes you a gazillionaire. I will never show back up. That's why I hope you make sure you're a gazillionaire so we never have to hear from you again. I have a good idea. What happened to the regs? Have you ever heard of body brain coffee? I have.

Well, here's a good idea. That logo and the shape is perfect for a cigar band. You have a promotion with small batch of whoever, Rogan, people, whatever, you have limited edition. Well that's a stick pack. It's gonna come, so the stick packs come in a coffee bag. That's it. So you open it up and you pull out just individual stick. Love it. So you put it in the hot water?

Are we seeing this in 2025? Yeah. And it just, this is actually a fucking great idea. Yeah. I have a great idea too. What's your idea? What's your idea? I'll help you launch a product.

Will you? I have a product. What is it? What's the product? I'm afraid to say it, because I don't want somebody to steal it. I have to say, I have a great idea too. What's your idea? What's your idea? I'll help you launch a product. Will you? I have a product. What is it? What's the product? I'm afraid to say it, because I don't want somebody to steal it. I have to say, I have to say. You know I shave, we shave.

By the way, it's so difficult to launch a product, that people will try to steal it. Like, good luck, have fun, go do what I just fucking did with this brand. Well hold on, before you do yours, because I know you're going to be nervous, like someone might steal yours. So I'll do mine, and then you won't feel bad,

because you'll be like, someone will steal mine. My idea, and hear me out I'm just gonna do stand-up comedy and based it on my life and get paid from that Yeah, okay. It's a bad idea. Okay, let's listen My idea is this you know, you shave your head. Yeah You know you don't Dude, it's called having shitty hair Have a really good, really good, like a shave cream,

but not in like the foam or the, it's a roll-on. Like armpit stuff. And you roll it on. Bobby, I'm not gonna lie, that is a, that's a good idea. It's a roll-on shave cream for your face and head and your body, but it's actually. It seems easier to just do this. No, it's not because it's all over the place.

Just roll it on, and when you travel, you don't have to travel with this fucking shh. You don't get on your hands. They have roll-on shave cream already? No, they don't. I also don't think it's necessary. I don't even use shaving cream, I use conditioner. Well, they have instant coffee too.

Yeah, you know what it is. They don't have instant coffee. Can I always tell you this is they have instant coffee, too Yeah, you know it not there. I've been sink. Oh, this is can I always tell you this? Mine's gonna have testosterone in it too you're gonna And clarity it's gonna have all the same stuff We always have an idea and then when someone finds a hole in it, then they just attack each other Cuz immediately he goes I don't know it's like not a good idea So let me ask you don't think that, you think that stand-up should just let you stand-ups? You shouldn't do other things. I'm busting balls.

Okay. But I also think there is a line. What's the line? The line is like, A lot of people are making like liquor brands. I'm doing something that's gonna actually help you and actually make the fans help you. I just feel like there's some that's like egregious.

If you're like trying to like, okay, a guy like Lewis, he's like trying to come up with something're like trying to like, okay, a guy like Lewis, he's like trying to come up with something better for you. It's like, it also like helps on the road if you want like an instant coffee and you're traveling or whatever. But there's people that are making like, when they're like selling out fucking theaters

in like huge venues and also being like, and I have this, I mean, look, you're like, some people, telling jokes is incredible and I love doing it. It's why I have money and a fucking great life, but there's a bigger picture to simply just selling jokes. Like I do a lot of things behind the scenes and it really, it makes me happy to fucking put together Skank Fest or this booking agency

that we just started or the podcast network that I own. These are, getting on meetings and phone calls. It really juices your bits. I fucking love it dude. It really gets you going. It really does get me going. I don't... you know I'm writing a fucking book right now. Let me see your watch. Yeah dude you're an entrepreneur. What are you doing? Stop it. What are you doing? Off mic. You got to tighten that up because if water gets in there we'll fucking ruin it. Oh it did almost ruin it. Water garden? Yeah. I had to take it to a guy. You got to tighten that up because if water gets in there, it will fucking ruin it. Oh, it did almost ruin it. Water garden, I had to take it to a garden. You gotta tighten that.

Bobby's starting a watch fixing business. That would be sick. I am. Like a little monocle. He looks up, his eyes all big. He's like, dad, you need your fucking watch fixed, dad. He's like down by the subway. You know those shops that are like,

you gotta go a layer down. There's a poor people. It's next to a subway that's closed. by the subway. You know those shops that are like, you gotta go a layer down. There's like four people. It's next to a subway that's going. A layer down. Yeah, a layer down. I don't know what you're saying. Well, there shouldn't be a shop. Yeah.

There's a watch. And I have an extra copy of just the tip, my first CD. Also, I'm going to be at Uncle Vinny's. It's fucking point pleasant, dude. Oh, that's funny. You should absolutely fix watches. What's your idea? Well, I have a t-shirt, but I don't want to say it.

Are you down with the sickness? I was making fun of him. What is it? I don't want to say it. People will take my shit. Nobody's going to take your shit. I said mine. Nobody's taking his shitty idea. Why is my idea shitty when your idea is shitty? The four of us should come together.

Mine is not shitty though. You're a shitty. The four of us should come together. You're guy. I fucking think the four of us should know, you know, I hate it. You're taking the supplements that are in my coffee right now. I love your idea. Guys, let's take a quick moment and thank Lucy for supporting today's show. We love Lucy. Lucy, I'm home. We love Lucy. Lucy's the greatest. She's the best. So we love Lucy. That's not bad. 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco free. Lucy is not like every other nicotine pouch company that's owned by Big Tobacco.

They're the mom and pop shops of pouches, and they come in a variety of strengths from four milligrams all the way up to 12 milligrams. I don't do pouches. Bobby, you're a fucking Lucy addict. Bobby's got five, six Lucy's under his lip at any given moment. What?

I can't stop. Wintergreen four milligram, I cannot stop. Apple ice. Hello. Again, they call me pouch boy. They call him pouch. Well, it's because it's a horrible. That's because we think that there's a baby kangaroo in your stomach. Can we focus on Lucy? I love wintergreen. Dude, I love Lucy. Wintergreen rules. Four milligrams is the best. I have a couple of buddies. They love the apple ice.

What do you like? I like the apple ice. If I was going to use Lucy, I would use the espresso in the morning. Coffee in the morning. He got it. Louis got to it first. Level up your nicotine routine today. That's a poem.

Go to lucy.co. slash regs with a Z. lucy.co. slash regs with a Z and use the promo code regs with a Z to get 20% off your first order. They also offer free shipping and has a 30 day refund policy if you change your mind. Holy bejesus. That's lucy.co. Oh, and here comes the fine print. And use go regs to get 20% off and always free shipping. And now back to the show. Wow. Here comes the fine print. Use gold regs to get 20% off, and always free shipping.

And now back to Joe. Here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. That sucks that they have to put that. All right, where were we?

The four of us should come together and take Nate's idea. What's his idea? Be famous and a millionaire? Well, he wants to open an amusement park. He did tell me this. What? Nate Land. Nate Land?

Why? Nate still talks to you? I went to his hotel with James like two weeks ago. That's so funny, bringing your son to visit the rich friend. Well, he's his godfather. I know, but he goes, your godfather. It really is like fucking Charles Dickens shit, where you're like you're going to meet your godfather Well, he if you ask him he'll give you up a bag of gold

Give James any gifts just like his SNL gift bag Smoking he's like you want a Tesla. Yeah No, yeah, but is that his I guess his barber slash personal trainer was there. And Nate's like, hey James, you want a haircut? James is like, okay. If you got his haircut in his hotel room while we just talk shit and eat chocolates. That's funny.

I, one time Nate pulled that on me. He goes, hey, he goes, you want a haircut or whatever? You know what? Like, it's a little long over my ears. The kid fucked my hair up so bad, it was like I was wearing a wig for a week. I had to go get my hair cut again. James had the best haircut he's ever had.

He's good. It was fucking really nice. But he doesn't listen to directions. You think he did it intentionally just to fuck you? I go, dude, just take it off my ear. We were in Atlanta, and I go, just off my ears. He stabs you in the neck. Yeah.

Ah, ah. And Nate was, I wanted to watch Nate, and Nate went on stage, and I was like, hey, you know what, dude, I just need it off my ears. He stabs you in the neck. Ah, ah! And like Nate was, I wanted to watch Nate and Nate went on stage. I was like, you know what, dude? I just need it off the ears. And then I heard like, I heard, boooooooom. And I was like, what are you doing?

I left and I was like, this is bad. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah. Dude, I was walking around for a week. I had to call. What would a, I don't understand. Is he that big where people would know a Nate amusement park? I love Nate

I hope it works out. It sounds ridiculous. I mean, he's pretty big. We have to bust his balls about this If we do not make fun of can I play devil's advocate the question well, yeah, you've got seven LLC Okay, you do an Al Pacino impression. I'm the devil You defend Nate in the voice of Al Pacino? I'm gonna tell you right now. I got so much money that I'm not even connected with my family. I ride in a private jet, but I talk to people

who got too many DUIs to drive a car. Can you stop pulling up the success of businesses? Nobody, anything you get into, it's more likely to fail than not, but people that are fucking great, they don't think of the failure, they think of the path to win. All our producers want you to fail. They go, no, you guys are gonna die.

I'm just saying, like, Rye Playland was probably owned by a guy that was way less connected than Nate with way less of an audience. For sure. And Rye Playland exists to this day. Yeah, but Rye Playland is dangerous. It's a shitty park. And it's a shithole.

It's a shithole. I would never bring my son to Ride Playland. Nate having to testify, hold on. Nate having to testify after the first roller coaster crash? Did you just hold on? He did hold on to you, dude. Wow, times have changed. Bobby used to do that to us.

Nobody's ever fucking hold on. I had a good... All right, sorry. No, you know what? No, go ahead. No, no, baby, no, babe! Don know what? Go ahead. No, don't, baby. Don't, babe! Don't soda. Let's do this.

Don't... Let's do this. I'll fucking keep all the good ones to myself. Don't... You cocksucker. Let's do a fucking bit about it. Can I play Devil's Advocate? No punch lines.

Don't take out old bonfire aggression on me. I apologize. No punch lines on this episode. Go ahead. Go, go, go, go. No, let's get into the business aspect of how our amusement park runs. Stop doing your black guy, white guy voice. White guys be like this.

Weren't we sitting there? Yes, we were sitting right there. You ain't sitting here now. No, come on, do it. That was a red eye. No, it was good, good. I don't know what to do. No, good.

Guys, stop being fat. Please, one of you do something. Dan is growing, because in the old days, Dan would just blast over what you were saying with his bit. Now, he's putting up the brakes. Dan's also physically growing. He's a pituitary issue. Help me.

Help me, Lewis. Ah! My eyebrows are really, really, my eyebrows. Yeah, I can only do one impression? Go, do it. Oh! I did it. No, what were you going to say?

Nothing. I thought we were going to start a bit about making fun of Nate. We are. Having a bad amusement park. He has a bad amusement park. Dan and Lewis were you gonna say? Nothing, I thought we were gonna start a bit about making fun of Nate. We are. Having a bad amusement park. He has a bad amusement park. Dan and Lewis are gonna do their thing where Dan does a voice, Lewis fucking does deaf comedy jam laugh,

and you and I wait for it to finish. Stop it, I love you. Dead Devil's Advocacy was fucking delightful. Thank you for setting me up for that. Yeah, dude, I'm point guard of Pog. We know, you're the port guard. Bounce pass. Thank you for, I'm sorry.

To Shaquille O'Neal, bounce pass. I got it. And thank you for acknowledging them. Absolutely. For hitting the break. And thank you for acknowledging my laughter. I really wanna hear what you're gonna say. I just thought it'd be funny if Nate was sued.

On the stand. Let's set it up. The joke was. Oh, you know what? You be, hey. The joke was. Okay, I got an idea. Because a lot of times we don't get to participate

in the bullshit you guys do. So you're Jimmy Fallon. I directed a film. So I'll set up the clip and then you guys do it. So you say, you do the thing. So what's the, give me a clip. Hey, what, you got a movie? What's the clip?

Yeah, so we got a movie and we got together. We made a movie about Nate Bargat. You know my friend, your friend. He's a great guy. Yeah, I love him. Okay, so we made a film. He's doing Leno, by the way. Yeah, but he's doing a good Leno.

He's doing a great Leno. I'm not stopping his Leno. I'm not doing Jimmy Fallon at all. Leno rules, can I just say, I listen to Leno on Bill Maher's podcast. I recommend everyone listen to it. It is just a joy. You like old Leno? Great stories.

Great stories. I never liked the show, but I like him as a guy. Tells a million great stories. What are you saying? Anyway, so the clip is never liked the show, but I like him as a guy. Tells a million great stories. What are you saying? Go, go. Anyway, so the clip is in the film, Nate, he, you know, his, he starts a amusement park and a bunch of kids die the first day and they sue him. And I think we have a clip. Can we roll the clip of Nate on the stand? This is Nate on the stand with the judge Gomez. I don't know.

I thought it was going to be clean fun. You're amazing. I love your music. I could watch you talk forever. Give my son a million dollars. Give my son James Gomez. Yeah, so it's in theaters March 11th. I mean.

I think it's Nate's birthday. Will he give us free tickets? No. To the amusement park? He'll probably have a day where people, hey you guys wanna all come down. Hey, where people, hey, you guys, wanna all come down? Hey, it's racist day, you guys can come in. He'll hold it against us.

He'll go, remember when y'all thought I wasn't gonna do this? But I did think he was gonna do it. Let me point that out, Nate. I believe in you. Oh my God. What sucks is Nick. What did Nate promise?

Little Nick's not gonna be tall enough to ride any of the rides. He's gonna have to just walk around all day. There's like little Nick land. It's like a side thing. It's for to have to just walk around all day. There's like little Nick land. It's like a side thing. It's for kids. It's called the little Nick. It's called the Novicki Experience.

It's just like hotel desks and regular stuff. It's not even like fun rides. This is the first I'm hearing of it. Is it in Nashville? I don't know. Probably. It's right next to one of his houses. Yeah, one of his several homes.

You have to buy a shitload of land Yeah, and then you have this house roller coaster You have I mean the best part is a roller coaster you can buy a roller coaster for cheaper than you think What if you name you can buy you can buy a gravitron for like 20 grand. Let me just point that out there Of course Louis that before coffee is that your I was like dude we're gonna have a gravitron in my backyard Nothing surprised me more than Louis knowing where to get a cheap roller coaster. $750,000. $30 million.

Small road. Literally, one half a show he can buy a roller coaster. More importantly, is Nate going to name his rides after his bits? Where he's like, this one right here is dead horse. He's like, this one is the milk at Starbucks. He goes, oh, you're about to ride milk at Starbucks? I just thought of my idea. What?

That I hope no one steals. Herpes medication. A Tennessee whorehouse called Gashville. Gashville. Can I shake your hand? I like that. Gashville. That's an idea that can only stand up comedian and park owner

Nate Barghatze was caught at Gashville with current with fellow comedian Joe List. I believe we have a clip of Nate Barghatze at Gashville. I didn't know. Hey man, I was just coming here for the drinks. Family friendly. I think he could do it. Why couldn't he do it? Somebody has to start a music park. There's very few people that they do. It's not that he's doing a park. Somebody's going to do a park and he's going to be a part of it and he's going to be the front of it. It's not like he's going, I want to start a park. No, he wants to start a park. There's no way. There's nobody that came. There wasn't some guy in a big silly fucking head. Hey, how you doing? Are you Nate Baguette? Well, I've got an idea for you. You got off stage. Here's a little midget guy next to him.

Daddy, his mother fucker. He's got a cane, he kicks it. Well, well, well, if it isn't old Nate Baguette, you know the comedy money's gonna dry up. He goes, go on, mystical strength. So his idea. Go on, you're full of whimsy. I like you.

I like your attitude. His idea, it's his idea, he wants to start it. Somebody didn't come to him go. Hey, we should do an amusement park What have you be the no he said it to me like and also he said to me like he didn't want me to talk about It publicly he's he like pulled me aside. It was like I want to start an amusement park. That's a big plan here Is he gonna get mad? We're talking about it. I don't think we get mad. I mean, we're shitting on it So what if I know you're not I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a ticket taker at the end when comedy and make don't work out when Nate and I finally make up for me making fun of it I'm gonna go did you have to

fire Lewis he goes I mean he fought like four guys what if us four Danny and Joe Russell start a competing amusement park call it six folks amusement park call it six Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Oh my god, dude, that's so sick. Six f**k jokes of the day. I wish we could call the episode six f**k. Has there been a comedian that has started something that big? Has there ever been a comedian that did something that big? Walt Disney was actually a stand up comedian when he was younger. Oh, you ever see these Jews? They're going to make us go fight the Germans. You think Walt Disney is Mickey Mouse?

Yeah, it's funnier to do it that way. Wow, you guys turn on each other quick. Wow. I was a little bit on this one. I don't like that. As soon as you started, I was like, wait, what? Is this real? Do you think that's what Walt Disney sounds like?

It feels like it could do. It feels like a little bit. He thought that was Walt Disney's voice. Watch the video where he's sitting on the desk and he goes, Jews, what a problem. Smoking a cigarette? Jews! They edited the cigarettes out of all of his pictures.

He used to rip them. Motion pictures? I thought it was, when Nate told me that, I thought it's just because he wanted his head frozen in the future. So there's been no comedian that's ever taken on something this big. Still good? Someone at Home Life.

Let me say, I mean, there must be, well, who are the biggest comedians? I mean, does Dice have like an airport or anything? No, Dice. Andrew Dice. I'm flying into Andrew Dice, Clay internet. Oh, terminal C that way. Welcome to Dice International.

Your connection's not happening because you're a slut. Penn and Teller have a ride at Universal Studios. OK, that was the beginning. Penn and Teller had an incredible show in Vegas, by the way. We talked about it on a previous episode. We talked about it. So there's no comedian that made it that big,

that much money, where they opened up. Nate T. Cuff. I don't know if anybody's made as much money in Nate as comedy. What? And comedy as Nate. You think, what? Nuts.

Touring, I mean, he's number one. Oh, maybe just touring alone. I mean, like, Rogan makes more money than him, but that's from fucking supplements and other products. What an idiot What a fool he is and a podcast and a Spotify deal Yeah, great. Well, he has a big comedy club. Yeah, and don't forget the UFC He's probably losing money on the comedy club

I think I heard that he was for the first year or so something like that But I think any business like that's gonna lose money for the rest of three years All restaurants are in the red. I don't know if he's turning to profit yet though. But I think that's just the first thing. Well, any business like that's gonna lose money for the first two or three years. It's like a restaurant. All restaurants are in the red. I don't know if he's turned to profit yet though. He pays everyone like a while the money. He's got 300 security guards. That are all US Navy SEALs. Yeah.

So there's nobody, nothing. No one has ever. The person that seats you has a sniper rifle on their shoulder. Why are you following me like that? We think Steve Martin would have been the one to do it since he started at the movie. I think they all invested into movies and TV shit.

They put all their money into what they were doing. But no one's ever thought out of the box. Nate would lose money if he did a TV show. If he stopped touring for three weekends to do a TV show, he would lose money. Well, he's saying produce, I think he made, which he does do a lot of. He does a ton of producing.

Look, I've talked to Nate about his plan. It's not my place to spill all of Nate's beans. I'm not gonna spill, I don't even know any of it. But he has a pretty, Nate's an idiot, yes, but he has a very smart business sense. Of course. Because we, like, look, dude, fuck it, we all were clean comedy, what a fucking,

we all mocked him behind the back. And now he's got enough money as a small country. Yeah, dude. Is he that rich? Do you think he starts his own country? He's like, I'm gonna start Jurassic Park. He goes, dinosaurs, what if I brought them back? Yeah, they never existed, but I'm gonna make them exist.

Exactly. The way I see them. Exactly. He's like, it's God Park. Or Nate just buys a Central American country and calls it Nate land. That's fun. He was a dictator, he's even better than an amusement park.

He gets one of those suits with his own medals. Yeah, he wears reflective sunglasses all the time. He gets one of those suits with his own medals. He wears reflective sunglasses all the time. I would love. You were dirty, you die. An amusement park hookup. That would be nice. That would be great.

Now I'd have a child. I bet you that we can finagle our way into Disney. What? No way. The free Disney tickets? No way, no way. Or at least Rye Playland. If we started doing free Rye Playland ads.

I don't know anybody who got a hookup. Even like famous people have to pay to get into Disney. But I think they. No, I've never seen anybody who had a hookup. Never met anybody who's a guy. I believe that people that live in Florida get free Disney tickets left and right. They get free, what's the other park in Florida?

Universal Studios. That one and the, what's the other one? Bush Gardens. Bush Gardens, you get, I mean, they give that shit out. No, I know people from Florida that get free Disney tickets. Who? Name them. Name them. People.

Name them. Joe. Joe People? I don't know, Joe People. Joe People. Look that up, do residents of Florida get free Disney tickets at certain times of year? I think they do. What? Why? Why would they get free Disney tickets at certain times of year? I think they do. What?

Why? Why would they get free Disney tickets? That makes no sense. It's for poor people. Gotta sell those funnel cakes. Go bad. Funnel cake? No.

Danny didn't even use the mic. I'm gonna hit Danny directly in his face. No Florida residents don't get in Disney for free. They can purchase. Discounted tickets. They can discount, but nobody gets a hookup. There's no I bet you know famous person hookup I bet you're in the super bowl. You're in it. Let you win the Super Bowl then you get to go No people rent out this story like Michael Jordan or you can rent out Jordan

No, I bet you they're so I bet you a fucking Celine Dion contact to Disney and said I want to come to Disney She's washed they would fuck this. She's great. Can't even move. She's got fucking bone froze. She goes, please. I want to die on a roller I was married to a man when I was a child Please that's French. She's more French Canadian. She's French Canadian. Yeah, that's it. I am Celine Dion. I am from Montreal. I am dying. Would you like some smoked meat and poutine? I am in so much pain. It is so sad that she is dying. Yeah. Is she dying? Yeah. She's got a stiff person. She's got a stiff where she just... Some would say that her heart will not go on. Folks. Folks. That's pretty good. I love it. Bruce Willis can no longer speak. That's Bruce is going to know you can't even time

There's a photo of the other day on that. He looks he looks bad. Yeah, he's looked bad for like a few years now His daughter posted a picture. He's like toothless. He's like, oh Then everyone got mad. I was he was missing it to that Why would he do is missing it to because he probably got his tooth knocked out back in the day and it came out He's fucking so old. They're just like a it leave it. It's not even that he's old. He's got like degenerative brain disease or something Yeah, you know what he needs is mind body coffee. This episode is brought to you by via Viya here at the regs. I am loving via they're all they're they're THC and CBD gummies Joe That's why I love it. I actually use via Joe. Joe's just doing a bit right now. Vya gummies are incredible.

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about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Unleash the green and live the American dream with Viya. Say it. He just said it. I just said it. All that. Yeah, but he likes to do the fast version. Okay, fine. And every ad with a fast read, Joe.

Yeah. Think someone murdered Gene Hackman? Yeah. You do? Well, the fucking odds that the wife, the dog, everybody dies? Well, the dog died, but one thing I would say, the pacemaker showed that he actually died on February 17th, so he'd been laying there dead for 11 days. The dog might have not been fed.

That's why the dog died. I don't think it would die after 11 days. Or the dog got into the pills. What? Because she had pills next to her. Well, how did she die? And I heard a veterinarian. Did she kill herself after her husband died?

It's either Romeo and Juliet. It's either she killed herself, and then he was going to get help and fall, fell and died. If she was Asian too, she would've killed herself, she would've stabbed herself with a sword. Or... Everyone knows.

Hardikari. Came across him dead and killed herself. But that was kamikaze. The dog ate the pill. No, that's if they fly an airplane into, like another airplane. What if she flew her head into a counter? But the...

But the... But the... The weird thing is, she is 20 years younger. She's like 62, and was about to inherit hundreds of millions of dollars. He was 95. Now here's the daughters, you gotta put them in. They were actually smiling and happy.

I would be happy. If my dad was 95, he was going at any time. At that point you're going, give me the money. Your dad didn't even make 20. Let's go. Sorry. 26. I'm sorry. He didn't even make 20. Let's go. Sorry. 26. I'm sorry.

He didn't even make the 27 club. That sucks. It's terrible. And so you think he, do you think he died first or she died first? Well, I don't know. Think about it. They were both mummified, right?

Oh, he was mummified? Let me get mummified. Hoorah! All I know is that his pacemaker, he had been dead for a while. So she, but then she died. The dog died because they're both dead, but nobody checked on them. But two other dogs were alive. For ten days. That's how you get your face ate. Yeah. When you die and your dog's still alive. Your dogs and cats will eat you. That's how your dog's gonna munch your face. Cats will eat you first though. Dogs will wait. Yeah. Dogs won't eat you first, dogs will wait. Dogs won't eat you. A cat will eat you if you're sleeping for too long.

They're like, rawr! Still rawr! Rawr! Cats are evil. Dogs won't eat you. They won't? No, they won't. That's not true, dogs will eat you.

100%. I'll bet how much we've had. You have to dream this. I'm telling you right now, my dog would eat my fest. I have to wait till 9.45. Oh yeah. Tonight? Tonight.

This is liquid. Oh, you're on a complete fest. That's amazing. Wait, hold on, get back to the bet. One of you knows you're wrong because you're trying to. A thousand dollars says a double at you. Why do you gotta go nuts? A hundred dollars.

No, let's go lower. Yeah, go. Eight dollars. Bobby knows he's wrong. Five, let's do five. Bobby knows he's wrong. How about this? How about this?

Five bucks. Wait, hold on. And a back rub, like a shoulder rub. Ooh, I'm shaking. Foot rub on the show. Yes, right now. Foot rub with rub. Like a shoulder rub. Foot rub on the show. Yes! Wait. Right now.

Foot rub with sock. Because I wouldn't want to do that. Sock is gross in my opinion. You haven't seen my toe. I don't want my... But I want no socks in mine. So five minutes each. Hold on.

Before you shake, you should agree on a timeline. Five minutes. Five minutes. No, no, no. No, not the... No, ten minutes, five minutes each foot. I'm talking about the dog death. Ever. Yelling at us. You're saying never. Five minutes. Five minutes. No, no, no. No, not the... No, ten minutes, five minutes each foot. I'm talking about the dog death.

Ever. Stop yelling at us. Ever. You're saying never. The dog's going to get hungry enough to eat you. That's it. But I'm going to say the dog... The dog will not eat you.

Here's what I said. You said the dog will not eat you. The cat will eat you. Your dog will not eat you. Eventually the dog will eat you. The dog will not eat you. He's going to lose $5 for a ten-minute foot massage. The dog will not eat you.

The dog will not eat you. Ten-minute foot massage, $5. Put your hand down. You're being aggressive. I probably won't win. But surely after a while the dog would eat you. Like, ten days. I'm trying to make the bet fair. We'll use the scenario here.

Ten days. No, let me say this. They're not going to get an answer to that. After ten days. Will the dog eat you or not? That was the bet you wanted. Will it or won't it? The dog will eat you after 20 days. Obviously after a month. After a month. Of course. The dog might take a... How about we cap it at a week? I say... No, I'm not betting on the timeline. I say 10 days. I personally don't know... I don't know how well a dog can go without eating food.

It's going to be starving to death. Two hours. Dan, don't take your pet jokes into this serious situation. Stop, stop, stop, bring it down. Without food for three to five days. Go three to five days. So if we find a story where within ten days the dog ate the person, just ask story, then I

win. What if we find a story where the dog never ate the person? The point is you're saying that a dog won't eat you. And by the way, you were wrong. Your dog would probably eat you, my dog would not. You're an idiot. You're a dumbass. There's no betting, you're changing the parameters.

Only idiots call people idiots. Parameters New Jersey. Stupid. By the way, you were wrong. You said the dog wouldn't die if it was left alone for 10 days. The idiots call people idiots. Parameters New Jersey. Stupid. By the way, you were wrong. You said the dog wouldn't die if it was left alone for 10 days. This thing says it was. Sure.

I also said that I don't know how long a dog can go without eating. Okay, bring it up. Will a dog eat a person? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Or we're banning a foot massage. We're banning a foot massage. $1,000 foot massage.

Foot massage. No, not the $1,000. $5 in it. That a dog, yes or no, a dog will eat you,000 foot massage. $1,000. $5 in it. A dog will eat you or not eat you. Stop. Don't be so aggressive. Ten minutes foot massage.

Five minutes each foot. According to studies. A dog might start eating sooner. Within 24 hours. This is delightful. I'm excited about this foot rub. I'm going to get a massage after this. 24% of the time. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Joey, you want to get a massage after this? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going right after. However, most dogs will likely wait much longer. Much longer. Especially if they have access to other food. Right.

And are not severely. Oh, God, a man's foot is seriously gross. Oh, my bad. He's got a, I have a nice foot. My foot's nice. He's got, that's, do this after. It's not a bad foot. I don't like it. It's not a bad foot. No, why don't you want to get a foot? Oh, that's seriously gross. Not that bad. I have a nice foot. My foot's nice. He's got, that's not a bad foot. It's not a bad foot.

No, why don't you like it? You put a timer on? Oh, that's fucking nice. No, you just check. Put a timer on, five minutes each foot. That's where the plantar fasciitis is. You wanna put a timer on, Joe, or you just wanna check your face?

My feet are, my dogs are barking, ironically. Why are they sticky? Joe, do you wanna put a timer on, or you wanna check your tits? Is that a Puerto Rican thing, or? Shit, Bobby, I have shit feet. All right, that's good. He's got a timer on.

Nice. Oh. How's that feel? Do you like a massage, Dan? Oh yeah. You want to get one after this? I know the best massage place. You know, you could give your massage

to one of the other boys. No, I don't want to. What if this is my thing? This is my plan? You go. Just suck it on my toes. You leave today and you call Don, you go, best day ever.

It fucking happened, Don. Did he do it? She goes, oh, he walked right into it, didn't he? He did. That fucking dumb Puerto Rican doesn't know that's your thing and I don't like doing it. Oh, you got to touch your feet today, Bobby boy? Oh, come home.

I told you that would let you do it. You go to the bonfire, the whole crew knows. I love a foot massage. In fact, guys give better foot massages than women. Of course we do. Same with beiges. What? What?

What did you say? And I want to have a little credit here. I'm giving a good one. You're giving a good one. I'm not fucking around. Pull on the toes a little. I'm going to at the end. Lick them.

Lick them a little bit. At the end I snap them out like this. Oh yeah, it's nice. Yeah. It just came off. Can you do it under the table? Why? I don't want him to pick that. It's gayer. Yeah dude, if I have it under the table it's queer. It's like he's jerking me off with his foot. You gotta do it above the table. The one listener that has it. The one? Phone call. Who's that? It's Harrington. It's about the t-shirts. Why are you answering? Harrington, I'm on the regs.

We're on the air. Is this about the regs t-shirt store being launched? No, it is not. Great. All right, goodbye. That's good. He goes, I was gonna kill myself. He's got a gun to his head. No, this is about something far more serious.

I think the foot rub should happen after. It's derailed the whole show. It's not, just keep on talking. Stop being so fat. We're both distracted by men being... We're both too hard. So being distracted by love between men. Should we get more Starbucks

do you think? I'm not going to have anymore but you should. Can we get sandwiches? I would love a sandwich right now. I'm starving. I'm so hungry. Oh I found a great new sandwich place on 14th Street. 14th or what? Bobby. We just talked about bread before the show. I'm not going. Oh, I found a great new sandwich place on 14th Street. Where? 14th and what? Bobby. We just talked about bread before the show.

I'm not gonna have it. No bread. I'm not having bread. Whatever I put in, no sugar, no grains. I'm done. No sugar, no grains. Remember that was Bobby's thing for like, and he was his, the fantasy ever was.

I've had a lot of things. He goes, no sugar, no grains, all gravy. Dude, I've been doing kettlebell workouts. I'm fucking huge. You're not huge, you're a no grains, all gravy. Dude, I've been doing kettlebell workouts. I'm fucking huge. You're not huge, you're a tiny little bitch. Damn. Why do you get, you know. I'm sorry, you're huge.

He's not huge, but just say good for you. You don't have to fucking shit down his throat. I'm 6'2", 185 pounds. People think I'm like 5'4", and a fucking homo. I'm a gay man, but I'm 6'2", 185. You're a large gay. And I do kettlebell every day. You just have to wait for Joe,

because he will always do his own sound effects. I heard kettlebells are bad for you. Bobby does Taco Bell every day. What is this? Kettlebells are bad for you? What are you doing? The guy's rubbing your feet. I didn't, dude.

Settle down. And it wasn't even that good. It was kind of heavy. It was okay. Look at fucking Suarez. Suarez is losing his mind right now. He's fucking Mexican, he loves Taco Bell. He loves Taco Bell. Arriba, Arriba, tacos, tacos, it's going nuts.

I heard kettlebells were bad for you. I don't know. Right, yeah? Is it a bit weird? No, I'm asking you a question, you fucking. Do you want me to, you're getting, No, kettlebells are bad for you. He was talking like he was getting his feet rubbed,

he goes, I heard it was bad. Do you want me to, are we doing a bit? Joe, what are you doing? He's texting. Who are you texting? I have to check out kettlebells. What? Kettlebells aren't bad for you, what are you talking about?

I heard it bad for your joints. The older you get, it's bad for your knees and all your joints. No, it's good for your joints. That's what I heard. Well, how so? Well, I mean, just exercise in general. I just told you how, you have fucking joints

and you need. Lifting weights in general can be bad for your joints after a run. The older you get, yeah. How old are you now? 42? 42. 42. He's not old enough for it to be bad for him.

He's fine. Yeah, and then swimming is the best exercise. Yeah. Because it has no resistance, but I don't want to swim. Swimming sucks. I like the kettlebells up the screen. I hate swimmers. Yeah.

Hairless bodies. Ah, they just jump in and do 25 laps. I can do two laps and then I nearly die. I dive boredom. Fucking hate- Dive boredom? What's up, dude? Fucking great swimmer joke.

You got your foot on your hand now. Yeah. That doesn't smell. Do you feel more relaxed? I feel incredible right now. I've been doing these 12 minute kettlebells. It's a woman on YouTube. Ooh.

And then I check the comments and it's like, us ladies in our 60s gotta stick together. It's like, yeah, I'm 68 and overweight. This was perfect for me. Oh, a 12 minute workout's not gonna get you anywhere, Joe. What? No, it compounds. Well, if you do something like that every day.

This is what you gotta stop doing. The kid is working out. I'm giving you good advice. This is what you're doing doing. The kid is working out. I'm giving him good advice. This is what you're doing. You're yes-manning a guy who's doing old lady exercises. Now, for you, it's... He's doing 60-year-old women exercises. You're doing something different than he's doing.

He's trying to stay in shape, what he is, keep it toned up. You're trying to become, you know, crazy big and athletic. That's not what he's doing. It's time to rub the other foot It's time to rub the other foot Swarris, can you throw me a cold cone spring? Why is this foot not sticky? It's time You guys are both on your phones. I just want you guys know that. I'm like this is derailing me. I don't like it. It's fucking weird. It's a little gay.

It's gay. It's gay, it's gay. You know what won't be derailing? You know it's not gay? Nate's roller coasters. You know it's really gay? They're just gonna put some cashola in there. I mean, dude, they're gonna be sick

and you can't cuss on them. That's gonna be the hard part of riding a roller coaster and going, oh shucks! Oh golly! Oh fart figment! There's no way. Oh, this 40 story drop, oh shucks. You must be this Christian to ride this ride.

Hey, who's the Lord and Savior? Jesus, get down. Well, I don't know, it was us. The way you have to pay is they have a big basket on a stick that says to pay to get in. Dude, it's awesome he's that successful that he can even fucking say that out loud and it's taken seriously.

Yeah, I believe he's going to do it. You think he's going to do it? I absolutely think he's going to do it. You think he's going to have an amusement park? Yeah. What's it going to be called? Nate Land? Nate Land?

I think it's going to happen. You going to our... Like Dolly World. Like Dolly World. What's Dolly World? You don't know what Dolly World is? Yeah, Dolly Wood. Dolly Wood.

Dolly Park had her own amusement park? Dolly Wood, yeah Dolly, Dolly Wood. Dolly Parton had her own interviews with Dolly Wood? No, it does. It's awesome. I went to it. Bring up Dolly Wood. It's in Tennessee, too. It's in Pigeon Forge. Dolly Wood. Yeah.

It was awesome. What, is it roller coasters? Yeah, it's everything, dude. Why, if Dolly Parton can do it, can't Nate do it? You're absolutely right. I wonder if that's where he got the idea. This is a great- Because that big-titted bitch thinks she can do it.

Dolly Parton is worldwide After she's just a woman. She's just a dumb slut what I said it Dolly were Dolly was it Dollywood? Yeah, that is a but she didn't go and make a park They went to her and said hey, we're gonna how do you know? Looked into it. I never looked at fucking best friends with Dolly He did it he did a four-point documentary that was nominated for an Oscar. Yeah, you don't know that. Making it to Dollywood.

Yeah, dude. Thank you, Dan. Yeah, called Tits Up, the story of Dollywood. Why does that fucking toe go under that toe? That's weird. I don't know, but you better louse your hands after this. Oh, yeah, I got to go wash my hands after this. Did Danny leave?

I've been texting him over here. Oh, Jesus. He's a good producer. Does anybody want more Starbucks? Just tell Paco to get more Starbucks. Paco's dead. I don't want to be the one guy. Paco died.

Bobby, come on. Have another coffee. You're skin and bones. Have some coffee. I'll do a tea. Woo! Do a medium tea. No honey, no nothing. Just a little bit of tea. And I'll do a...

Hey, is there any more cream left in that? Black tea. A grande heifer's clout and a chocolate brownie warmed up. I'm fucking Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. I had 10 seconds on the clock. That was a second. You're on the clock, dude. Sorry, hands off. So don't add 10 seconds, you fucking twat.

They really turn on you. Chocolate brownie, grande tea. What do you want? Another tea? Just a tea. Medium tea. Low tea? I did have a below average. I know. That really surprises me. I would not think you would be. What was your tea? $3.39. And are you taking tea? Always salt. No. One of the reasons I came up with this coffee was because I was trying to get on testosterone

and my doctor said no. He said try supplements. Try working out. Try stopping drinking. Stop smoking. And I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I started taking supplements. This is try stopping drinking stop smoking and I stopped drinking I stopped smoking I started taking supplements this is not like a fake thing I literally why are you getting mad at us because you guys look at me like I'm a fucking we don't look either we don't look like you're a grifter we're excited we're not supposed to make funny stupid coffee hey you're right it's not your fault it's not your fault dude I'm excited yeah we're all excited to get free coffee from Brain and Body.

I think Comedians Hocking product is good. Of course you do. I love it. You hate it. Capitalism. You hate it. More of it. I'm gonna have my own tea brand.

What's it gonna be called? Low tea. No, I already did that joke. I just did that joke two seconds ago. Whatever, we did it. Shut up. Good job, guys. Fucking killed it, bro. Hilarious. I fucking did that joke two seconds ago. Shut up. Good job, guys. Fucking killed it, bro.

Hilarious. Fucking did that joke. Woo! Woo! Jesus. Because you're a fag. Tits. No, hot dogs.

I'm going to do hot dog. Joe's hot dog. I had an idea to open up a sloppy Joe place called Sloppy Joe's. They just sell sloppy joes and tater tots. Don't do sloppy joes. It's a terrible fucking... It's the worst sandwich ever. No, it's delicious. Sloppy J. Jomez.

Sloppy Joe's suck. Dude Sloppy J. Jomez sucks. My mom used to make the best Sloppy Jomez. You know what her secret ingredient was? Why is the clock going up? My mom's secret ingredient is Sloppy Jomez. She would do a dollop of cream cheese. Hang on one second. Why did you make the clock go up?

The clock didn't go up. You have three minutes. It was two minutes. It was no that was the last two But that was the other foot. Oh, that was this foot the shoes on the other foot Bobby Bobby Bobby less talky more massagey. I see if I fucking find out watches episode you made the clock go up more I'm gonna cut your foot off. It didn't go Bobby less talky more massage. Yeah The secret lucky more rubby secret ingredient in the sloppy Joe's a dollop of cream cheese. Sloppy Joe's suck. They do not.

You bite it and it all and then you get bread. No, you're doing yours. Like a dies is too saucy. Louie does not. They're all saucy. He's right. It's a shit. It's like a diarrhea burger garbage.

Unless you put it in a pocket where it all stays in. You got to now, now we're innovating. Now you got to, now this is why they call you Pouchy. This is why this is it. This is the biggest thing. I think our sponsor, Lucy, it's gotta be a, it's gotta be like a non bread though, like a thick PETA. It can't be a thin, I knew a thick PETA, great cock. Peter Goodwin was his name big thick penis Peter they're making a you just added time no he didn't you just added time I swear to god he added time he just added time I'm done I'm done no you're not done he's adding time two minutes I don't know where they got this idea from.

2.22! 2.21! Danny must have come up with this idea on his own. It's fucking Lewis. It's Lewis. Give me this. I want this. Lewis has been texting Danny.

Will you try that? We'll get him as a sponsor on the show if you try it. I'll try it after the show. Try it now. I'm on a fucking fast. Whatever the opposite of the bandana is. What is it called? My fast?

No, that. Reclaim your brain. No, the name of it. Reclaim your brain. No, the other side. Magic mind. Magic mind. Oh, well this looks like the front of it and it looks like it's called Reclaim Your Brain.

It really is good. It's actually... Shabba mind, well it's actually... Five minutes has felt long. Because he keeps adding fucking time. Because Danny thinks he's funny. What a dickhead. It is kind of funny. Shut up.

Thank you. A medium tea? I like your Paco. Black tea. Paco, I love you. Danny, you push that fucking... get that hand off of it. No, the hand, the little hand, the little finger. Get the finger off of it. No, the hand, the little hand, the little finger. Get the finger off of it.

Paco, did you do it? No. Filipinos can't lie. I seen him push the button. It went 10 seconds. Filipinos are in cage for a long time. Move that finger. We don't lie! That is not it.

That is not it. What do you think a Filipino accent sounds like? That's it. Well, I watch Ken Burns' Vietnam and the Vietnamese guys, they're like that like... I'm going to do an hour and a half massage after this. Just really get it out. Are you going to like a real place? Yeah, a real place.

Chinese? I found one. I found a Chinese one that's the best I've ever had. Who found the best one? I bet a thousand dollars. We should. Here's my, here's my idea. I think before the next episode, we should all go get massages at this place. Then do the episode. Have a relaxed regs. Let's do it. And drink a little magic mind. Yeah. Ooh. A relaxed regs. I found a sports massage guy. Who's a? Guy? Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. Okay, Bobby. You said earlier they give better massages.

They do, I know. Foot massages, I said. They give, this guy, he fixed my back. I have a thing on my back, grabbed my neck. Like had this whole chart, he goes, let me see. Hey, hey, hey. Sorry. He was about to push it, weren't you?

Yeah. You were about to push it, weren't you, you about to push it weren't you Danny Danny times up was nice Oh I thought you killed Danny oh god Jesus Christ Bobby you know what you are, Lewis? What? An ad hog. Whoa. Wow, you are an ad hog. You're an ad hog. You really are. Dan Soder has not. Ad hog. Ad hog.

Dan Soder has yet to say a word. You're an ad hog. Honestly, I don't even think I want to. I'm good at reading ads. I've only said things that you've already said. Bobby's barely said anything. I mean, you can't say nothing, because if I say something.

Well, Bobby's a hog hog. All right, that's not bad. Let's go. It's pretty good. All right, good, good, do it. I just know these ads, like the back of my head. I know you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

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Gene Hackman is dead. That's what they're saying. As he's dead. That's what they're saying. It's topical. Did we come up with that or the company? Because I feel like that's pretty disrespectful. Yeah, I wrote this.

Well, sometimes the producers will put it into chat. The way Danny is laughing like a maniacal lunatic. He wrote it. I also am worrying, Mandel. I'm worried. Let me smell you. Did you roll it all over your body? He's smelling my balls right now.

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It feels like it feels like a troll how much they send me. I have so much Mando. I'll give you some of mine, Joe Yeah, what is going on here? He's crazy people don't like they don't respect you They don't respect your mouth. They go. I'm not gonna send it to Joe Well as a special offer regs listeners not regs podcasters just the listeners They get five dollars off a starter pack with our exclusive code That's over 40% off your starter pack starter pack is pretty cheap. Just use Jews Jews get six dollars off. Jesus.

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REGZ with a Z. Yeah, what are you gonna fucking interrupt everybody for? Stop being an interrupter. He didn't say Regs with a Z. You gotta say Regs with a Z. So say it. They know the show. Just say it. They know the show, ho.

Shopmando.com code Regs with a Z. All right, where were we? Where were we? You're back. Duh duh duh duh. Why isn't Paco left? I need brownies. I wish I could eat brownies.

I just wish that was my life. What are you going to eat? Tonight I'm going to a French restaurant. Oh, Les Icapitans. L'Express. La paine couturier. I'm going to get the branzino, the fish. Then I'm going to get some French onion soup,

but I'm going to not eat all the cheese and the bread. I'm just going to have a lot of the broth. I did the opposite. I did the unhealthy version of what you did. I had food poisoning for three days, so I could barely eat. And then the day I felt okay, I went and got a cheeseburger in San Francisco.

Oh, that's gonna kill you. Worst idea, I had diarrhea. Well, I'm going to Jamaica on Saturday, so I have to ease myself. I went to Chachi Petit, I was like, I need to ease myself into Jamaican cuisine, because it's very spicy, very heavy. So tomorrow I have to incorporate certain spices.

Friday, there's certain things that I have to eat. spices. Friday there's certain things that I have to eat. Yeah. That's gonna be awesome. I can't wait. How big's the crew? 17 people going to Jamaica. And you guys all have sex together? Just the boys and girls.

Hey, how's the tit thing going with Shannon? She's at like $1,300. How that work? She needs $12,000. She needs a cheaper tit. That's her problem. I told her once she gets to $5,000, I'm gonna donate $1,000. She needs a cheaper tit. This is her problem. I told her once she gets to 5,000, I'm going to donate 1,500.

Buddy, $5,000 a tit is not a good tit. No, let me finish. That's like a bag of rocks. No, no, I think $10,000 should be your tit. What, she want marbles in her chest? Well, she put a 12,000. She was like, well, because I need a hotel. I need to recover.

She needs to put her feet online, and then she'll have it in a week. I told her if she just wore more form-fitting shirts and showed her tits off a little bit, people would be donating more. What's wrong? Her tits are fake now, right? Her tits are fake. They should do a Patreon.

They're 22 years old. Now we have a GoFundMe. No, but I'm saying she should do a Patreon like, if you pay this much, I'll mush like something together in between my tits and send it to you. That's a good idea. Like that kind of stuff. Like I'll do tit art. Like she'll do tit art.

Like she'll like cover her tits in paint. What have her tits made out of now? Like fucking. They're silicone, but they're old, 22 year old. Those tires are made of asbestos. Those tires are bold, brother. It's more silicone. Can she get sick from having those in like that?

I think it's not good after a while. Yeah. No, but she can predict the weather now. They go, it's a brain rot. So that's good. So who's going on this trip to Jamaica? Everybody? The whole gas Jaco, Harrington, Alex, Shannon, all of them. Do the skanks go? Do Jay and Dave go?

This is my 12th trip to Jamaica. No, they don't go. No, Jay, no, no, there's no comedians. I was trying to bring a chick, and the crew literally put the kibosh on it. They were like, no. Yeah, you can't bring a girl. I was like, why can't I?

Because it's not your vacation. I own the company. Yeah, but it's not your vacation. But I have my own villa this time. Yeah, but that fucks up the whole dynamic, and that fucks it up too. You have your own villa? Doing that Dane Cook shit.

Yeah. Dane. You're the Dane Cook of Gas Digital. Her tits are made of Villa Cone. The villa. Villa Cone. There's three villas on the property. Folks.

There's two large villas with like six or seven bedrooms each and then there's one villa with just one bedroom. Somebody's got to take it. Yeah, but you should, you should not. Do they have to gather around your bed and sing you a song to wake you in the morning? Lewis is starting a cult. I do pick, I picture like a Poccos now. I bet they don't come back one of these times. They just stay there.

Yeah. Drink this. It's real ass juice. Well, we literally, me and Ralph make them do a talent show. They're not allowed to say no. They have to do the talent show. It's horrible. Yeah. It's probably why Will, or whatever his name is, Paco's not coming. No, Paco's coming. Suarez isn't coming. But that's because he's talentless. Yeah, because he'll try to eat him. What'd you say? What was your talent last year? Sucked you off. Wait, hold on. I can't...

Sucking on the microphone, dude. You're a fucking professional comedian, Suarez. Still off. Were blindfolded by touch? What'd you do? Where I guess who people were by touch. Oh yeah, that's right, he was blindfolded. They can't do that with him, because they know it's him.

Suarez. Suarez. He would touch. He would be breathing as he walks up. Sweating, Suarez. That was a good talent, Suarez. That was fun. Did he get everybody?

No, but he got really good. He got most of them. Shannon just smashes her tits together for the talent show, she really does. Really? Yeah. The old tits, the 20 year old tits? Yeah.

The villa cone? Her tits are so old that if they were human, I wouldn't fuck them. Dude, she's just gotta do a Patreon where she does like- Why don't you just get her Jamaican tits? I bet they cost like a thousand bucks down there. Well, you buy the goat, we'll give you the tits for free. We'll be putting you right down here.

We'll give you a real big boom, boy. Real big boobies. Now that's funny. That's funny stuff. Do you guys see, do you remember when Adrian Brony hosted SNL and he did that Jamaican Act? Oh, that was so bad. But didn't they not want him to do it? No, that was so bad. Yeah, yeah, that was bad.

But didn't they not want him to do it? No, they didn't want him to do it. And he just did it? Yeah, it was for Sean Paul. Oh my God. Please bring up that clip if you could find Adrian Brody doing a Jamaican accent on SNL. But I was, so when I was like-

It's one of the easiest accents. When I got, after I got- Absolutely, man. After my show in San Francisco. Yeah, this guy. You gotta find the clip. After I got that cheeseburger. Oh, here it is.

Now a two-time Academy Award winner. His speech was brutal. You know, we got Sean Peter, you know, we got Sean Paul, we got Sean Mary, we got Sean John, you know, we all in the house now, man. Now respect all our spec, you know, me respect me next spec, me next spec, me next spec, me aunt spec, you know.

Yeah, we got a great show, you know. We got, my respect, my respect, my respect, you know, got a great show, you know, and I teached on this monologue. Yep. Oh boy. He said kill the body boy, which is literally gay. Body boy is gay. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, that sucked. Wait, was that his whole mouthful?

No, he was introducing Sean John. That's what I thought. I didn't know how I was talking to letting him do that. Honestly, we thought it was going to get a lot bigger. Bobby, you got a cigar for me? Yeah, I do. Wait, can we smoke in here? I have a Magic Mind, if you want one.

You have a Magic Mike? Magic Mind. I have a little baby cigar. You want one? Yeah, I would love one after this. And a little baby dick. I got one for you too. You're gonna smoke a cigar on a 72 hour fast? You're gonna barf.

No. Smoked a cigar last night. Can I ask you a question about this? Please. Because I'm thinking of doing a fast. It's 24 hours. Yeah. But it's the first.

You should do 72 days. He looks great. Bobby, you look great. You really do look great. Bobby, there was a time I was genuinely sad every time I saw you. You look fantastic right now. Thank you, dude. Your fashion, you've do look sweet. Bobby, there was a time I was genuinely sad every time I saw you. You look fantastic right now.

Thank you, dude. Your fashion, you've upped your fucking, the swag you got. Thank you, buddy. The fucking glasses with the sweatshirts. Thank you, dude. Appreciate you, Dan. That's why I love you the most.

Thank you. Of all of them. Wow, right here. That's not what you. Them? Always have. That's not what you said in the foreword to my book. He had a whole paragraph talking about how he respects you the least.

That is not true. The body boy gonna die tonight. Rump and stamp. Seriously, I want to ask you a question. What? What's the hardest part of doing a fast? And do you have to do 72 hours? No, it's not about losing weight, it's about killing cancer cells.

Right. They say 48 to 72 hours, 72 hours you're getting the most, you're getting the maximum benefit of it. Now where's the hardest part of it? Day one's rough, day two was really bad yesterday. So you can't have, you just have water. Water and I have coffee, and coffee is kind of found, in the fasting community, coffee's frowned upon.

Can I ask you something? Because I have to fast on Sunday because I'm getting a colonoscopy and an anosy. How long do you have to fast for? 24 hours. I have to start, I have to, I can't. I wish it was 24 hours. On Sunday, I wake up Sunday, I cannot eat

except I can have chicken broth or Jell-O. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, I know, but I'm saying. Just drink bone broth, put a bunch of salt and pepper and garlic in it and fucking drink bone broth all day.. It'll be fine. I like some electrolyte packets Okay, I'm open in my own bone broth company. I like it more Bobby's broth. Yeah, Bobby's broth I'm gonna be selling it out of the seller front window. Whoo with a little apron Wait, who's they when you say they say the dog to our no not you

Everybody does say they this 72 hours. Who's what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't like, I can't, I was just. I had done podcasts with Cheeto before. I did a podcast with Dorito. Pfft. I did it, I got a bonus episode. Let me tell you how much joy Joe Lispensky. I got a bonus episode with Cheez-It. That was too much. Patreon episode with Cheez-It. Yeah, take that.

Dorito and Cheez-It. You got greedy like these comics with all their products. You got greedy, Joe. If you their products. You got greedy Joe. If you could have a product, what would it be? A fantastic act that people paid a good price. You know what someone said to me the other day? You selling something? I go, I just did. I sold jokes.

Oh snap back to reality. Oh there goes gravity. I heard you murdered in Denver. How'd you hear that? I'm from Denver. Oh yeah. Yeah. No I'm from Whitman, Massachusetts. Yeah. No, I'm from Whitman, Massachusetts.

So if anyone does anything, I do a podcast with a guy and Denver comics went and saw him. I mean, this is him. Fucking comics were good. And Whitman sandwich and Whitman fucking caught me because I fucking make sandwiches. Yeah. If you made sandwiches and someone had a good sandwich, Whitman, I'm sure they caught me, because I fucking make sandwiches. Yeah, if you made sandwiches and someone had a good sandwich with me,

I'm sure they'd fucking call you. I do have sandwiches, I'm launching a sandwich. Fucking. Joe DeRosa already did it. No, mine's gonna be national. Yeah. Yeah. The comics there were pretty good. They were good comics.

Yeah, there's good comics. ComedyWorks fucking rules. Yeah, ComedyWorks is a good club. Condo was actually really nice. Condo rules. The outside. Love, yeah, you could smoke. I love, I've heard, Comedy Works is a good club. Condo was actually really nice. Condo rules. The outside. Love, yeah, you could smoke. I love, I've heard Comedy Works is incredible.

It's really good. Get them there. Comedy Works, book Louis J. Goldman. No, they won't. Ari was out there too at the same time, him and Colm. That didn't help. And there's a statue of Ari outside the condo. What?

Didn't you see that thing? Oh, you mean that? What's his name? Yeah, it looks like a... Oh, gold, the gold Jew. That's right, it's rock looks like gold gold the gold you Have you not done the no no comedy works I they put me in the Denver improv which is a 500 seater and I could sell 200 seats all weekend

I was like do you guys have extra curtains? You went and bought bring your own curtains, please about Shane did some arena with Mark Opens who we were talking about Milwaukee arena, whatever. It was like the record 20,000 people And we did the math. That's like 50 sold-out Improves. Yeah It'd be like if you did like I'm doing a run at the improv. I'm doing a 50 show Remember when bird did that at the Wilbur he didn't want to do like He was 19. It was 19 19 shows 19 shows at the Wilbur just do one in a row Yeah, I did when I opened for Shane at the the arena shows

I remember just like looking out to the crowd and being like if I could just have Yeah, one third of that. I felt I should that's how I felt on burst tour one third of that sex I said you guys that like that's all I need next time changestor. One third of that section right there. Hey, can I say, you guys? That's all I need. Next time I- Change my life, it'll be life changing. One third of one section at every show would be life changing. Guys, right here I'm confidently in theaters.

Yeah, I'm going on, I'm opening for Shane in a couple arenas, I'm very excited to do it. Ooh, baby. I'd like to, after the show, let me know what that check looks like, I'm curious. $10,000. Really. $10,000. Really? $10,000 for me for myself.

By the way, you go, and that's it. How many shows? I'm doing four with him. That's what they paid Quint to catch Gauze. Is that each or is that all? That's each. Wow. I don't remember. Shane is a fucking generous guy.

That is very generous. He's the man. He's the fucking man. I'm not gonna tell you what I made. Oh, please. When I did Arenas. With Dane? 20,000 seat staple center.

How much did Dane pay you? Oh God, I wanna know this. And this is also, by the way, this is fucking early 2000. Why would I do this? Why don't you guess? Wait a second. One thousand a shell.

Hang on, hang on. You were so blown away that I think. One thousand a shell because that, at that time, was considered good money and you guys were appreciative of it. No, the thing about this, I going to tell you right now, it's not. The tickets were $150, $200 a ticket. The Staples Center is 20,000 people. In the round, by the way. It's in the round. You're adding the whole floor.

And arenas. Probably made a million dollars for the show. Each show he made a million. I would say he gave you $2,000. $2,000. $2,000. $2,000. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm not a fan of the show, but I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show.

I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show.

I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show.

I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. I'm a fan of the show. 500, Jesus Christ. We all guessed. Now don't forget, now he was paying for my room. Oh, that is very generous.

And he was paying for the G5 that we were flying to these games. Yeah, I hope so. And I believe. Bert and Shane paid travel and fucking hotel. I think it was, I think it was $1,800. Okay. That's not good.

20 minutes. Yeah, 20 minutes. Okay, well. That's not appalling. No, I think it was, and I think I got... 10 grand is better. 10 grand is. Think about it, if you make, what is the money on that?

20,000 people, say 15,000 people, 10 grand is. Think about it. If you make, what is the money on that? 20,000 people, say 15,000 people, 15,000 people. So it's the equivalent now of paying. Oh, he overpaid you. No, dude, it's very generous. It's very fucking generous. And it's very nice. That's generous.

And he does it for everybody. It's not like he doesn't like pay more. He doesn't like it's favored nation. We shouldn't say that because what if there not like, he doesn't like pay more, he doesn't like, it's favored nation. We shouldn't say that because what if there are people that he doesn't pay that much for? Yeah, no, they're gonna crush that. If we wanna edit that out, then they won't edit it out. We're not editing, we're fine.

Okay. Well, damn. Yeah, I mean, that's. We're not editing anymore? Shane's very generous. He's the fucking man. That is really, let me tell you something. He's the people's champ.

Because he's making great money. Those arena gigs, you're making a lot of money. And for him to give you that, plus you're his boy too, which is great. Yeah, it's awesome. That's awesome. But me, I mean, he's like bringing on, he's like, you did one, Norman did a couple. But he also, he also made you have sex with your girlfriend

in front of him. That is, but we, Katie and I already shot a bunch of videos, so that counts. What if you're married? Can you guys, can one of you guys plug my phone in for me? Speaking of plugging. That is, but we, Katie and I already shot a bunch of videos, so that counts. What if you're married? Can you guys, can one of you guys plug my phone in for me? Speaking of plugging. Yeah, let's do plugs, good job, Joe. Yeah, why don't we do plugs?

That's really good. Hey, hey, that was really good. Thank you, I'm a professional podcaster and comedian. All right, I'll go first. Please. This weekend, Nashville, Gashville, baby. Coming back to Gashville, it's going to be a roller coaster ride of a show. Zanies, March 7th and 8th.

Next weekend, Tempe Improv. Buy those tickets for Christ sakes. And my movie, Tom Dust and Portrait of a Community, is coming to theaters. Theaters near you. Yes! On April 25th, the quad cinema here in New York City Some theater in Cambridge. I'll have more of them, but it's gonna be across the country landmark cinemas in Late April that's right folks. I made a movie. It's going in the theaters April 19th The Wilbur theater April 10th through the 12th, Minneapolis ACME and the entire month of July. I'm doing New England

I'm doing Northampton, Massachusetts Burlington, Vermont, Portland, Maine, and I think one other one. Oh, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Woo, so yeah. New England, Joe. Go to the movies, support the fucking film. Dude, I watched this documentary,

Joe did a fucking phenomenal job. I love Tom Dustin, it is a beautiful movie about a beautiful person that's fucking hilarious. And you see Joe and Tom's friendship throughout the thing. I really, really enjoyed it. And I know both of them. Check out the movie, check out Joe Live. You can check me out live, April 4th and 5th

at the Funny Bone in Richmond, Virginia. And then in Spokane at the Spokane Comedy Club. May 1st, love it. May 1st through the 3rd. Jeremy Spokane at the Spokane Comedy Club. Great club. May 1st, love it. May 1st through the 3rd. Jeremy Spokane. Roar. And then I will be in Albany May 15th at the Egg and then I will be in Burlington, Vermont

at the Flynn Theater on May 16th. That's May 15th in Albany, May 16th in Burlington, Vermont. DanSoder.com for all my live dates. Listen to Soder the podcast. And I got a cool tour announcement coming up that obviously I will plug on here the next episode or in the next couple episodes. But I love you guys. Come see me live on the road. Go to Lewisofskanks.com. Sign up for my mailing list. That's the quickest way to get all of my updates on dates and my other bonus podcast, the Lewis Journal podcast. But next week we're doing Dojo Comedy Live Story Wars in New Jersey, which is going

to be a ton of fun, March 13th. Is Jay going to be in his new house by then? He's moving in the next day. That's sick. March 14th, I'm at the New York Comedy Club, Stanford, Connecticut. Then I'm going to South Bend, Indiana the next week. I'm going to Raleigh, North Carolina that Sunday. I've got a little Canadian run coming up. St. Catharines, London, Windsor, Burlington, all in Ontario.

Philly is my birthday weekend at the Philly Punchline. Excited about that. Really what I want you to do is get tickets for my European tour. If you guys go down to the end of May, I'm going to be in Europe with Scott Chaplin. We're going to go to Amsterdam, Glasgow, Dublin, Manchester, and London.

Really excited about this. I have a bunch of days. I'm basically working nonstop until I to go to Amsterdam, Glasgow, Dublin, Manchester, and London. Really excited about this. I have a bunch of days. I'm basically working nonstop until I film my special on July 12th in Tampa, SideSplitters Tampa. Get those tickets. They're almost sold out. Bobby Kelly's directing.

It's going to be a goddamn blast. The whole week I'm going to be there. We're doing after parties. It's going to be sick. It's going to be really, really cool. So grab those tickets for that. And if you guys want to come to Skankfest, I believe we're not announcing anything, but there's a good chance all four regs are want to come to Skankfest, I believe we're not announcing anything, but there's a good chance all four records

are gonna be at Skankfest this year. And you get your tickets on May 2nd. We're doing the general sale. They're gonna sell out faster than they've ever sold out before. We're announcing the lineup mid-April. Skankfest.com, shout out to Yo Create-Em for making it all possible.

May the second be with you. What's up? Go to punchup.live slash Robert Kelly for all my tour dates and all my comedy stuff is up there. Uncensored, which I love, and Seattle, March 14th, 15th, and then Niagara Falls, the 21st and 22nd, with me and Big J. We're co-headlining the casino up there.

One show, I guess Paco's coming too because he forced that on us. And then Nashville, I'll be there. The ninth one show, I'll be there. The ninth one show, I think we're doing Bonfire from there all week. I'm doing that show with you. And I think I'm doing Story Wars right after that.

You're doing Story Wars and I'm doing your fucking show. As the champ. Yeah, yeah. As the champ. Undefeated, undisputed. What, at the Nashville Comedy Festival? Yeah. Oh, it's disputed.

And then I'm gonna be, so just go to punchup.live slash Robert Kelly and check out my comedy YouTube channel, youtube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy. This comes out tonight, right? Yeah. This is coming out tonight? Grand Rapids, this Saturday, I'm at Gilda Fest. Please buy tickets, please, Grand Rapids.

This is coming out today? I don't know if Gilda Fest is, but since I was like some old lady, she's like, come to my festival. It's Gilda Radner, she died of cancer. I'm gonna be in Mohegan Sun then, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Mohegan Sun

in Connecticut, go see Bobby. I'll be in Jamaica, man. I'll be going and then be like Don Sura in Grand Rapids, Gilda's there. Pah, pah. All right, time for our favorite sponsor on the show, which is Small Batch Cigar. They sent them to me.

They did? They did? They did! Yeah, what'd you get? Oh yeah. I haven't gotten a boxigar. They sent them to me. They did? They did! Woo! Yeah. What'd you get? Oh, yeah. I haven't gotten a box in months. I refuse to open them. How gr- what?

I fucking threw them out the window. I don't want them. I don't want them. No, they sent them to me. I don't even know what I got. It's a surprise. I brought them to Key West. I smoked every single one.

It is the best thing I've ever received. But why? By the way, Joe's not even lying. Joe, you're not even lying right now. This time around. I am not lying. I was so pumped. Was it worth the wait?

It was worth the wait. The waiting was the hardest part. Why was it the way, Joe's not even lying. Joe, you're not even lying right now. This is not an ad. I am not lying. Was it worth the wait? It was worth the wait. The waiting was the hardest part. Why was it the best? Because it came to me in a variety pack with a Bavita pack. And that Bavita pack stayed good. I didn't have to think about it.

I put it right in my suitcase. I said, I'm going to Key West a couple of weeks. I'm gonna bring these cigars. It saved me literally $100. Easy. Because they pork you down in Key West. And they also, I mean, they give you really high quality cigars. The best.

The best cigars possible. Every brand you know and a bunch of brands you don't know, they have a new section on the website. You click on that, you find all these new brands that you never even knew to try. And I went to all my favorite shops in Key West, which there's one that I love down there, the guys at the Great Proprietor.

They didn't have one of the cigars I got. The cigars? Yeah, cigars. You can drive these things to work. That's how good these are. You hop on it. You've started up. They didn't have any of the cigars. So it's unique cigars, great cigars. I am happy to be on the thing. A lot of boutique. A lot of boutique. It is the best online tobacconist. And I only learned that word by reading these ads, but it's the

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And just to quickly correct, Dan, it's REGS. You said reg. You said reg. I don't give, why, who cares? They know what the fuck Joe is. They don't. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

what do you think? Wow, wow, wow, man. Didn't we use the bus balls? Since when has the show turned into, do, do, do, do? Cause I just did it. That's because you just did it. We're back.

Oh, thank you, Joe. Gloves. Why are you wearing gloves? It's like 60 degrees outside. Is it that cold? Oh. Did you get the brownie? Yeah, fuck it.

Yeah. Woo! I wish I could have that brownie. Oh, thank you. I'm schvitzing. I mean, hungry. Schvitzing. You got a large?

Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm going to piss my brains out. Thank you, Joe. Good man. My favorite of the Down syndrome people? Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm gonna piss my brains out. Thank you, Joe, good man. My favorite of the Down Syndrome people. Oh, God, no sugar, no nothing. No sugar, no grains. No grains, dad.

Good job, boy. I'm starving. I'm starving. I know what's weird is when you eat, when you have that bread shit, it makes you hungry when you're not even hungry. What do you mean, that bread shit? The bread and the sugar and all that bullshit makes you think, it's like, oh, I'm hungry. when you're not even hungry. What do you mean, that bread shit? The bread and the sugar and all that bullshit

makes you think, it's like, oh, I'm hungry. I'm not even really hungry. I'm not even fucking hungry. And my stupid fat brain's like, I wanna eat something. When I saw him get that brownie, I'm like, fuck. I'm trying to get over my candy addiction, dude. It's fuck. I think when you fast, though, it kind of,

it resets your brain, right? Lou, when you fast, it resets your whole calibration on eating. I don't know if that's true. I'd say, I'm not a doctor. Do your own independent research. Ask they.

Can I tell you something? Chino Rivera is a doctor. Bobby, can I tell you something? Because I've only been able to drink water and Gatorade and then soup and crackers, probably for like two of the And then sandwiches and bananas. Chicken par, meatballs. But if you kept going to the and then sandwiches, bananas, chicken, but meatballs, I didn't drink. I drink a lot of coffee.

I drink a lot of coffee and I didn't drink coffee for four days. Yeah. And then I noticed when my stomach was fine that my head I was going through caffeine withdrawals. If you had a headache, yeah. Well, this is the happy man. We had a half so far and I'm like, oh, I'm annoying. I like realize I drink coffee and I'm like, oh, I'm annoying. I like, realize I drink coffee, and I'm like. I drink way too much coffee.

Now I'm like, I've only had a couple sips, and I'm like, this is, I should probably only be having like small coffee. I drink less coffee because I got a really good coffee maker. Me too, I have a. Her name is Dawn. I was about to make the same joke. I got a Breville.

The Breville espresso maker. Oh, okay. I have an espresso, but they say that, I was watching a thing, they were saying there's all this shit wrong with those pods. No, I don't have a pod. No, I have a pod. Why would you put beans in on this?

I have a professional espresso maker. It was my big Christmas present last year. Me too, with the house, when we got the house on. It was unbelievable. And it makes a... Does it make a crazy lot of noise? No. Mine goes like...

But it's... Is that the froth? We have the full coffee machine, so it does anything. It does... It's a vampire? I will make you some coffee. I will. Mine grinds it, and then it has,

it actually, you know, it tamps it. You know? Yeah, mine grind it too. Tamp this. So, yeah. Just teach your brownie. Did you guys watch the Gabby Petito documentary? I did.

I did. She was cute. Who was it? Super cute. Hard to jerk off to, but I got it done. Who? Who is Gabby Petito? The girl who was murdered by her boyfriend, Brian Laundrie?

Oh, I did watch that. Oh, yeah. She was fine. She was all right. She was cute. Gabby Petito. She would have been a better woman. Great, yeah, if she would have grown into a full adult.

Yeah. If she grown into, if she. Did her boyfriend kill himself? Yeah, he did. Shot himself in the Great. Yeah. She if she would have grown into a full adult. If she grown into she did her boyfriend kill himself. Yeah, he did. Shot himself in the woods. Yeah. In the jungle. That's got to suck to go hiking. Now let me ask you this. I'd like your opinion on this. Does he have good parents or bad parents? He had bad parents because his parents fucking knew that he killed her good parent and wouldn't let his wouldn't let the cops in. Yeah, It's terrible. If my son, look, your son is likely to murder somebody. Now this is a copy.

This should be the clip. Your son is likely to suck somebody off. This is how you go viral. Whatever, dude. My kid's going to jail. My kid's queer. It's so funny. You guys really just did a one for one.

Your kid's going to be a murderer. He goes, yeah, your kid's gay. This right here is how you blow up a podcast. James, the girl's fucking like James. And he's like, ew. James throws a woman off a mountain. He calls you and says, hey, dad. He throws her off a mountain. How big is James? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I just fucking murdered her. I'm driving home. What do you do? Um, I, it's my fucking boy.

By the way, guys, the letter, the burn after reading letter in the documentary, that is how I feel. So you're a great, so you think it's a fact. Guys, guys, guys, if my son murdered somebody, I would help him hide the fucking body. Guys, guys, guys, he's going to jail, I'm going to jail. Guys, I love that, love that. But let's be real, right?

Beautiful son, beautiful son, beautiful son. You all have reasons to jail. Guys, I love that, love that. But let's be real, right? Beautiful son, beautiful son, beautiful son. You all have reasons to live. They do some dirt, you call Uncle Dan. And what are you gonna do? I'm gonna help him get rid of the fucking body. Yeah? And then you guys don't even have to know about it.

You treat your baby boy. What would you do if your dog murdered somebody? I'd go, yeah, that's what I trained you to do. Good boy. I'd go like this, I'm your dragon! And then she'd attack again, and I'd go, yeah, that's what I trained you to do. Good boy. I'd go like this. I'm your dragon! And then she'd attack again. Good.

Yeah, dude, this is why you got a childless friend. You would tell on your son? I come in. What do you mean? You would write your son out if he murdered somebody? If Max came home and said, I murdered this chick. If he came home like this, if you wake up and you go, fucking Maxie, it's two in the morning.

He goes, look at that, she wouldn't shut up. She wouldn't. She kept on vlogging. She vlogging. And she goes, Max, Max, Max, why are your hands all bloody? Your hands are all bloody. He goes, mom. Yeah, yeah.

And he goes, fucking mom, I don't know, she fucking wouldn't stop. Go back to me. And then he goes, dude, I'm fucking with you. Bobby's gonna get up, he's gonna put on a coffee. Shhh. Let me fucking turn on the espresso maker real quick. Don't forget the magic mic.

And then you go. Okay. He goes, now, are you sure she's dead? Dad, is she really dead? I don't know, I don't know. You rat your own blood out. Not rat my son out. You rat.

But if he murdered somebody's daughter. You wouldn't at least figure out how annoying she was. I would try to, everything I could, to try to help him out. But that woman, when she knew that that girl was dead and her fucking dumb son, if my son's stupid enough to fucking murder somebody, that's not my fucking boy. That's not my kid. There's something wrong with him.

He needs help. Now he's dead. That son could have been alive getting help. Yeah, he might have been in prison, but he would have still been alive. Now he went out in the woods and fucking shot himself in the face because I didn't help him. I fucking buried it.

So yes, I would probably, I would do everything I could. I'd lawyer, I'd be behind him. I would do everything. I would tell him to show me where the body's at. We would take the body home. We would do weird sexual things through it together. But they found it. Hey, hey, hey, James, look, this is her if she would still be alive right now. Come on, guys. I would begin to burn her. I'd fucking string her up to right now. Yeah, come on guys. Yeah, that would be getting to Bernie hair. I'd fucking string her up to some strings. No, it's honestly, it's hilarious. I don't think I would, I would not want my son.

Joe, what about Marty? What if Marty comes home blinking extra hard, just like his pops? Marty likes to party, we know this. If Marty called me, well first of all, I would like to think that none of us raise fucking narcissistic, murdering fucking assholes. We know that, yes, we're not. Our kids aren't gonna do it.

But if he said, hey, I knocked her over the thing and she's dead, I definitely would not be like, all right, here's what you do. Drive home, we lock the door, we lawyer up, and we don't tell anybody. What would you do? You'd be like, you're on your own? No, you'd work out a plan. You do call a lawyer, you come up with a better system, but you gotta tell the people, hey, yeah. He killed her. And Marty got a little handsy. Maybe I don't say he killed her.

You don't know, you don't say anything. You get a lawyer. But they call, he calls him by his nickname. Little Marty's like, I killed this girl. I joked her. Karen walked too close to the whale and I pushed her. And he goes, did Sarah make you do this? Mommy said make Auntie Karen go away.

No boy is strong enough to push that ass over a cliff. Should fucking death squat him. His face off. No, I mean I definitely wouldn't be like fucking, yeah, no, we don't know anything. I haven't seen it. Sorry. Also, sorry. All full. He drives her car into the driveway. It's in the drive. Even if you're going to protect your son, do a better job than having the brand launchers and credit. So he, he, he tried to create an alibi. He got her phone and he was like, I love you, babe. She's like, maybe we should break up. He started doing a fake back and forth.

Oh, that's crazy. What's your favorite WrestleMania match? It's stuff she never talked about. She goes, is it just me or did Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels ruin the ladder match for everyone else? If my son had to go to jail, it would be devastating. I couldn't fucking watch it. It would suck, but I would rather have him in jail

than dead. I would take the fall for him. I would say I did it. I swear to God I should believe you right away I'm wearing her face in the house I did I did sorry did worth so hot for your daughter. How did she die? Well, it was a strangulation and blunt force trauma. Yeah, so we hit her and then strangled her Yeah, and then he carried her up to the fucking top of the hill and chucked her. That was nice. Right?

Did he? No. No, he laid her down. He hiked somewhere with her. Yeah, he hiked her out. Did you watch the documentary? No, he did. He hiked. She wasn't near the truck.

He hiked her out into the... No, we don't know that he killed her. He could have killed her in the spot she was dead. Yeah, he killed her. We don't know where he killed her. But that's what he's saying. He killed her. And then hiked her.

That's not true. Can I bring up a side thing? Why is that not true? Because they didn't say that in the documentary. We don't know where he killed her. But that's what he's saying. He killed her. And then hiked her. That's not true. Can I bring up a side thing? Why is that not true? Because they didn't say that in the documentary. We don't know where she was killed. She could have been killed right there. Why do you get so mad so quick? Yeah, because I wanted to kill her.

Shut up. Her soul was mine. Because I know what's happening. Shut up, relax. Can I bring up a Boston thing? Gone, baby, gone. Remember when they're worried that the body's in the quarry? Great movie.

Do you know that quarry's like dry now? I didn't know that. Yeah, it is. It? Yeah, you know that quarry's like dry now. I didn't know that Yeah, it is. It's fucking crazy. It's like Quincy quarry's like grass. Do you know the lake that? the fucking Winnipeg sake no Tahoe mystic River Charles River Minnetonka Wasp in pond

Washing yourself. Walden Pond. The lake that was in Dirty Dancing is gone. Really? Dried up. Yup. Like Dawn's pussy. Alright. I said that twice before.

I mean dude, what are you doing? What are you doing? You don't make her wet. She told me. What are you? Didn't know you guys were texting. Didn't know they were talking on the side. And also, it's almost hysterectomy time.

I don't know, I'm fine. He's getting wild, I don't know, he pulled me in! I mean hysterectomy. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know they were talking about that. And also, it's almost hysterectomy time, so. Whoa! I don't know, I'm fine. Are you just kidding? Why? I don't know, he pulled me in!

I mean, hysterectomy. I don't know. Sorry. Yeah, well. I can't even look at you. I'm sorry. How come everyone keeps looking back at me? What's going on here?

Because you're adorable. Because I'm the real point guard, I think. Whoa! Maybe you're mine. Yeah, who looks at me more. Maybe you are. Whoa! I think so.

What do you set up? Do you think- You just complained about our awesome fucking tag teams. I love how- Do you think this is gonna be the only time Nate calls any of us? Cause he's upset we talked about the park. Why would you talk about my park?

That was my dream. Yeah. You, you- You let it out of the bottle. You're not supposed to speak about a dream. You let it out of the bottle before it came out. I'm not supposed to speak about a dream. I go, Nate.

Somebody's gonna steal my idea. That's not how Jesus works. Joe Coy has a park right now. I go, I just- Now Greg Rogel's gonna steal my idea. Jesus works Joe core has a park rat my god. He's like right now Greg Rogel is gonna open Yeah So you kill you'd protect your son I would protect him but I would protect him through the law I would not like I would I would get him the best lawyer. So loose is the only real-ass dad here Yeah, well, I mean his son's dead your son's, Luce is the only real ass dad here. Well, I mean, his son's dead. Your rad.

His son's gonna go out in the woods and kill himself. Your rad. Whose son is most likely to kill somebody though? This is the best part about that. We don't know yet, because your son is much younger. Between James and Max is definitely Max. Hundo-p.

I don't know about that. I don't know, dude. James is a gentleman. Yeah, but James doesn't blink. Max is a party. James will look at you for a while and be just like... I've caught James just staring at me. And I'm like, hey, James. He blinks sideways.

It comes from the side like lizards. It's scared. Where's my dad? Just walk away. Do you own guns? No. He just sings songs lightly. Can you stop doing that?

I love Max. I love Max. Literally, I love Max like a second son, but I'm looking at my second son in the video and I'm like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going He sings songs lightly. There you go. Can you stop doing that? I love Max. I love Max. Literally, I love Max like a second son, but I'm looking at my second son in the face and I'm saying, there's a chance he might murder somebody

at one point. Oh, you're gonna clear out a mall. Yeah. So funny, Max will tell me secrets about Louis, about him just snapping. But then Louis will come back and go, it's cool. Like in front of the kids, he'll, you know what? Sorry about that, guys.

Guys, saw under the hood. Because Max. Shouldn't have seen under the hood. Max had a thing where he'd be like, damn it. I'm like, what are you doing? He goes, Louis does it. I'm like. What the hell?

Is Max telling lies about me? When do I snap in front of Max? You snapped. I have a feeling that. You snapped with somebody in traffic. And you forgot you left. And then had to go back and get your shit. You forgot your wallet or something,

and you were like, god damn it, and you went to the parking lot and you were like, fuck, something like that. By the way, I could see Max absolutely idolizing you. Oh, Max loves me. Because like, you know what he goes, Max loves me, I love Max. Max loves, I mean, but he loves Louis, that side of Louis, which I'd be like, dude. You can't be like, Max. I'm just saying. Max loves, I mean, love, but he loves Louis, that side of Louis, which I'd be like, dude.

You can't be like. Max. You can't go into a parking lot and scream. I love him. Look, and I do love Max, but Max, his best friend James, it's a tradition, and at this point it's on purpose. Every birthday party that Max has,

Max physically assaults James in one way or another. That'd be a better thing. Well, tell James to stop looking so sexy. He's like, I hate your hair. Bang. Yeah. Stop looking so cute and adorable. Yeah.

Big fan. I'm a big fan, and I can't wait to see Marty turn into the guy that's going to be... Now, do you think Marty's not going to want to hang with James or Max? They're going to be too old. They're going to be 10 years old. James is going to be 20 years old. But they're not even going to be like... It's going to be a different world.

How fun it would be if Max would hang out with Norman's kid? What do you mean? Call Marty. I mean, yeah. Marty's going to will hang out with Norman's kid? What do you mean? Call Marty. I mean, yeah, Marty's gonna be like three years older or two years older than normal. No, he's like 13 months older. I didn't know it was that close.

Yeah. Maybe friends. Mark and I are the exact age difference. That's awesome. That's fucking cool. I love that. Me and Bobby are 18 years, how old are you? Was our sons born the same week? Yeah, not the same week. They were six months apart. I remember that. Me and Bobby are 18 years, how old were you? Our son's born the same week?

Yeah. Not the same week, they're six months apart. I remember that, I started getting new pussy when you guys had your kids. No, Max is, James is a gentle angel. He is. James is a gentleman. He's a straight A student.

He's a gentleman. He's a gentleman. He's a badass in Jiu Jitsu. Yeah. He does jiu jitsu, does baseball. Look at me, I've done a fantastic job with that boy. He's not good at baseball. Okay, whatever. Very few Latinos are good at baseball. Who is good at baseball?

He's okay at baseball. Now he's fucking doing it again because his mom fucking is like pushing him into it. I was like, he doesn't even like it. Dominican stepdad. He doesn't even like it. We took him right out of base. It's like, James, you go to heat the fuzz ball.

And he goes, I don't want to, stepdad. He goes, you have to heat. You have to heat the curve ball or you'll get dinner. We're at Max's last, we're at Max's last baseball game. And they just heard the coach, I'm in the field. Max, I'm like, fuck Max. I'm like, shit. He was in the bleachers. He took all the practice balls and he took a sharpie and he was signing his name, handing them out to the people in the fucking...

That's hilarious. That is hilarious. And they were like, Max, I need these balls, Max. You can't be signing all the balls. It's so funny. He goes, what do you want me to do? He has sunglasses and a hood up. It's like a three-year-old.

He's giving it to smaller kids. There you go. There you go. We took him right out of baseball. Jiu Jitsu is the best because someone is trying to kill him the whole time and lacrosse. Did you do boxing? He did boxing too. He's going to start boxing again.

But lacrosse he loves because someone is throwing a fucking hard ball at his face all the time. When are you going to do football? September. You're you gonna do football? September, he starts football in September. You're gonna let him do football? Yeah. Can I get him his gear? Can I get him like a cowboy collar and a fucking visor? Let me gear him out, dude.

Let me spat his cleats. You're doing tackle football. Yeah, you asked, I already answered it. He's the 11, 12? Like his passive aggressive. How old is he? You're gonna let him tackle football? How old is he?

Have you seen the charts? How old is he? He's 11. Yeah, that's where I started. Going on 12. By the way, nothing better for an 11 year old boy than just getting absolutely fucking rocked in practice. If he plays.

Doing real quick that you ain't fucking. If he plays and he doesn't, and he's like, dude, cause he'll be like, I'm out. The first day of hitting, he's gonna come home and he's gonna go like, I didn't expect that. I didn't know I was gonna be in slow car accidents. I just, what? What, the science? What does the science tell you? The science? I'm not gonna be in slow car accidents. I just, what?

What, the science? What does the science tell you? The science? Yeah, yeah. So I'll tell you right now, if someone comes across the street at me the wrong way, I'm fucking, I'm decleating them. You're gonna fucking run at them and tackle them? I'm gonna fucking pop my hips?

You're gonna break his ass. Bye! Fucking snapping my hips and I'm fucking going. The problem with football is that Max can't run. That's a big problem. He's like, he can't catch or throw. He can be on the line. He can throw.

He can throw. He can all right catch, but he can't run. He runs like the girl from Taken. No, no. He runs like Frankenstein. Even this morning when he was running for the bus, I go, I have to go pick your feet up. Get his elbows back.

Hopefully his coach will teach him how to run. Whereas I feel like James can do a standing backflip No, James isn't a good runner either. He kind of runs like a little sissy girl James when he's running the bases and baseball, I was like James just fucking Louis just heavy sign there it is. It's a shot to right. That's gonna be a double. And he goes, he can hit all right. He can throw all right. He's just okay at baseball. And he's not passionate about it.

So I'm like, what are you doing? Can I tell you what's funny is when my dad knew he was a failure, when I was like eight years old or whatever, and I went out and he was like, I'm gonna teach you how to throw a football. And it was my mom's boyfriend that taught me. So I was like, oh, actually, Dennis taught me how to throw a football. My dad was like, oh no.

He goes like this, did he? And we go out in the street, he goes, why don't you go ahead and throw it to me? And I threw it and he goes, yeah, that was a great spiral. My dad was just like, you just watched him go like. My work here is done. And he goes, well, I don't ever have to call this kid again. I remember when Max played flag football a few years ago,

and he got a pass and he started running, and I remember me and Don just went, we just started laughing. We weren't like. Are you gonna have him play like, you know, like you did cross country, are you gonna have him get into like hockey or any contest sports? You shouldn't have your kids get into anything.

You should see what interests them and then let them do it. You forced your child into Brazilian jujitsu. No I didn't. I had him try it out and he really liked it. Yeah. He's tried a bunch of things. I was telling Joe, are you gonna try?

Yeah, that's what he's asking. That's exactly what I asked. We have a little hoop, he loves the hoop, he plays ball. I mean he can throw a ball. He's a hula hoop. It's crazy. He like whips the ball. He's so wise.

He goes, he takes Karen's, he takes Karen's stilettos and he does these walks. It's so funny because all three of us hate our sons being called gay by other people. Did you see the reaction Joe's like. Well he's a baby. I know it's even weirder that he's already gay. It's crazy we know this. Joe's got a gay baby.

Ah dude Marty becoming the toughest out of everyone. Which one of them would be gay if they're gonna be gay? I think you want to bet on James because he's such a polite little gentleman. But then I think Max would be the reveal that you'd know. Yeah Max wants to rebel. So he's like I'll rebel. And also just that conversation where you have to take your glasses off and you go, all right, dude, I still love him.

You know, it's just like the murder thing. I wouldn't care. Yeah. James would have told me he's gay already. He's way into girls. I know, Beyonce or Megan Thee Stallion. Megan Thee Stallion. He makes me love.

Dude, I told Katie that and she was like, hell yeah, James. He likes black chicks. Yeah. And all these girls, dude. Beyonce full body. Dude, at his play, check this out, dude. This was like a win that I've never had. I don't know if any of us ever had a win like this.

So there was a girl that he had a crush on, for a few years of elementary school. He really liked this girl. And he never told her. And she was just kind of mean to him. He was mean to her. You know, like fifth graders do. They're just fucking calling each other ugly.

You're always mean to the girl you like. Yeah. So she ended up going to a different school and she showed up at his play this past weekend with her friends and they're sitting right in front of me. These girls are sitting right in front of me and I hear them talking about James. They're having a, like literally going over his bio.

For 20 minutes I'm sitting there listening and I was like, one of these two girls really likes James. And I had no idea it was this girl specifically. He comes out, she'd run over to meet him, she made him a handmade card with a three page letter, like apologizing for being mean to him, wanting to be in touch. I mean it was just like the girl that you like

fucking going out of her way. Simpin' for you? Doggie, it was like he just felt like a million bucks. You saw it. And then I find out because his friend came over afterwards, all of these girls liked James. That's it. Which is kind of funny because James is not,

because when I was a kid the dickheads got all the girls. Sure. But I think now little kids are nice. So he's like a nice kid who's smart. He does like fucking, he's just like a good kid. You guys are driving home from the play, he goes, hey dad, you got a cigarette? He's light. He goes, good night. But that win of like the girl that you fucking had a crush on. Oh my God. None of us got it. That's why we're all common. No dude. I fucking, Ruthie Rivera did not give a fuck about me. I used to beat the shit.

I got a man that got, it was like, later, get out of here. I used to smash. Get out of here, flat face. I was like, boom. No, Stephanie List would not give me anything. I used to smash Carol Coughlin in the head with a plastic caveman bat every time she walked by my grandmother's house. Damn.

Because I liked her so much. Yeah, this was a couple years ago. We played, yeah. Then we played. That's what happens between me and James' mom. I should've heard that. I liked her so much. She's dead now. No, she's not dead.

She's close. None of the girls. Actually, no. Ruthie Rivera's still pretty hot. Follow her on Instagram. That's not her name on Instagram. Otherwise, I wouldn't say it. But she's actually hotter than she was

when she was in the fourth grade. What's funny is the girl that had a crush on me that I didn't like in elementary school turned out to be a hot woman. Long-term investment would have been. But we don't do that. Women rarely age into hotness. When I went like, okay, she had like giant Coke bottle glasses

and she's like, I like you, Daniel, and I was like, okay, she had like giant Coke bottle of glasses and she's like, I like you Daniel, and I was like, whatever. Shut up, four eyes to come on the floor. Ew, Daffy duck glasses. And then now she's like, anyway, it's mine. And you're like, huh. What's up, what do you think about? What do you think about, Bobby?

I was just thinking about Carol Coughlin. And Marty's gonna be a city kid. Yeah, you gotta a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one.

I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one.

I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one.

I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I'm gonna do a good one. I gonna be, I love it. I love it. Gnome's gonna be using that microphone in 20 minutes. He's talking about like, some power style. Some political fucking thing. He goes, the Gaza, he goes, that's an interesting take on Gaza. Did you guys eat a Starbucks brownie? It smells like Gaza.

Yeah, but we, Battery Park City is awesome. There's so many kids, it's so safe, the school district. He's not gonna hang out in Battery Park City when he's 12, 13 years old, now he's gonna be going off into the fucking city, he's got friends from Brooklyn. Would you be more disappointed if your son was gay or not funny?

Gay. Probably not funny. Wait, what, really? I'd be more disappointed if he wasn't funny. Of course. You wouldn't be disappointed if your son was gay. I'm not. I would love my son, but I would love him as I drowned him. Jesus Christ. There's nothing that gay unfunny. We're gonna have to mark that. Oh, just a like a not good time. He's just gay. Oh, he's gay and funny. He's annoying. Oh, hey, dad, look at me. What is? Hello, my baby.

Hello, my darling. Tongue suppressor, more like a date on a Saturday night. Dad, what are we having for dinner? Picks his wig up and is like, woo. No, he'd be like a Kevin Meany. I say gay. Gay funny is the best. Yeah, gay funny.

I don't care. I don't care. Oh, Meany was the best. How do you come out to your wife of 30 years in song? It's so funny. Meanie fucking ruled. He was funny, dude. Not the best.

Andy invented the mic, take the mic. Ow, my eye! That's funny. All right, not your kind of humor, but that's funny. You watch a comedian come out, he pulls the mic stand and pokes himself in the eye. Ooh, boy. I mean, there are funny gay comedians.

I'm just saying, if your son isn't like an elite level comedian that's just a gay funny dude, that's annoying. That's like a funny fat chick. Yeah. Topic to close it out. Please. Play card, funniest gay comic all time. Ooh.

Ellen DeGeneres? Probably Robert Kelly. No, we can't name it because they're not out. No, no, I think he's out. No. All right. Who's not out? There's a couple. There's a couple.

Whisper in my ear. I know, is it a man or not? I'd say Tim Dillon. Right next to your ear. Oh, Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon might be the funniest guy. Tim Dillon. Tim's hilarious.

Yes. I've never seen him. You ever done his podcast or hung out with him with the other guys around and you go, I've never seen him kiss somebody you ever done his podcast or hung out with him with the other guys around and you go, who's that guy? I've never seen him kiss somebody. What is that? I don't know, that's gay. You ever see Mateo kiss a man?

Yep. Okay. He's married to a man. He's married. Mateo's body is... Mateo might be the most talented human being I've ever... His body is... He's like Jamie Foxx level of talent.

Shizzled. I mean, his Instagram makes me uncomfortable. I look at it longingly. He's ripped. I feel the way about Stavros. Stavros is the man. He's the best. We gotta get him on. Yeah, Stavi, baby.

Yeah, I think that... They did a final of Come Town. Yeah. They did one last Patreon episode, Say Goodbye. Oh, wow. It was really funny. The show ended like 10 years ago.

I didn't hear. Yeah, well, they had the breakup, but then Nick, Adam, and Stavi got back and did one last episode. We're trying to do a Come Town, and it's Gangfest. Louis Anderson. Louis Anderson, good luck. Kevin, well they had the breakup, but then Nick Adam and Stobby got back and did one last episode. We're trying to do a compound game on it's Gangfest. Louie Anderson.

Louie Anderson, good luck. Kevin Meany, Kevin Meany's up there. I think Louie before Kevin, right? Really? No, I think Kevin Meany's funnier than Louie. No, Kevin would bomb. He would kill or bomb. And when he bombed, I worked with him for a weekend.

He was, one show he fucking ate his dick for the whole show. That doesn't mean he's not funny. That makes him cum. I think he actually wanted that. And then he would do good and then bomb it. John Panett was straight though, right? No.

John Panett was gay. Oh yeah, he was gay. I'm kidding. Oh, I don't know. Well, that was gonna go, well then. Who are the gay comedians? Tim, you got. Matteo, Matteo's very funny.

Emma Willis? I don't know Matteo's act. Matteo is the most talented person we've ever met. His drawing and singing and comedy and his body. His impressions and everything he does. His impressions are amazing. By the way, Ellen DeGeneres, I know she sucks. Her stand up was awesome back in the day. In the 80s and early 90s she was unbelievably good. Last one was that good, but the other one... I didn't watch the last one, but the one that she did, the HBO one, the last one before that was incredible front-to-back like Clean great fucking awesome. Yeah, Ellen Ellen fucking rock. Wait la with the LA gay

There's gonna be a bunch of LA gay comics is Boston gay No, there's no Jim Loretta Jim Loretta was Jim Loretta very funny very funny. We're just naming comics. Nobody's hurt and oh aunt Rodney Dangerfield was gay. I love Dick. I'm telling you, I can't get enough. Wait, who are we forgetting? I get off it. Pull up a list of you guys are fucking pulling up facts about everything else, but not a list of gay comedians. You fuck who the gay blacks? Gerard Carmichael. Oh, he came out

recently. Yeah, but that's too gay. He's awesome. Is he really funny? Who else gay blacks? Gerard Carmichael. He came out recently. Yeah, but that's too gay. He's awesome. Is he really funny? Who else is there? Uh, uh, uh, but Teo Emma. Oh, Mehran. Oh, Mehran. Oh, who's who's the one that I have on my podcast all the time? Jessica Kersing.

That's very funny. Jessica, yeah. Jessica, all-timer. Jessica's up there. He's out, I thought. No. I don't think he's out. He's so rumored to be gay that it doesn't matter that we say it.

People say it, Nick Swardson. We say it all the time on, people talk about Nick Swardson being gay, like left and right. And he's the worst. Well, there's the other one, too. What's the other one? Just put out a special. What's the other one?

The one that just trashed everybody? Yes. That one? Who? You know. Who? All right, it's time to wrap up. We love you guys.

Who is it? Tell me in my ear. What are you, an owl? You know, it's the most dangerous dark-minded community in the world. That's a pigeon. Jasellnick, why would you say this? Why would you do that? Jasellnick, he just came out as bisexual.

Just did. Oh, that's a good one. He's the most dangerous, dark-minded comedian of all time. Jasell Nick, why would you say this? Why would you do it? Jasell Nick, he just came out as bisexual, just did. He's bisexual. He's very funny, he sucks, but he's very funny. Dude, Joke World put out a video of him saying that Shane, The prediction about Shane, where he goes,

Prediction about Shane, he was like, this is gonna be it, he got fired from SNL, he could be another name we don't talk about in a few years. He goes, this guy, he's nothing. He's going to be nothing. He's like, now I'm the edgy comedian that everyone loves. He gave himself a title. What was the title? I don't know. Jaslinick stinks.

I mean, dude, he's a great joke writer, but get the fuck off. He loves the smell of his own shit more than anybody else. The delivery of like, do you guys know how dangerous that was? You're a good joke writer. Stop. Yeah. I know your vibe. Stop blowing yourself. Oh, there you go.

That's the end of the show. What a day. What a day. Oh, what a night. See you guys next time on the rags with a Z