Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - It's My Birrffday

Episode Date: October 14, 2013

Robert is joined by Monroe Martin, Luis J Gomez, Joe List, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo for a show on his birthday. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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HuluPlus.com forward slash dude, go there right now. Okay, that's a special offer for you, you listening to this. My listener, I got that for you. That's two free weeks, so you can check it out, see how amazing it is. Make sure you use Huluplus.com forward slash dude so you get the extended free trial and they know I sent you. So go right now, right the second you listening to this huluplus.com forward slash dude go there now. K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K- You should just keep going in the night Cuz you're an asshole He hate that, but I knew you'd fucking up the first

Night man, we're like I'm gonna go for it fucking around and what you got to show for it Let it be known that I'm in the zone and whatever I need to just pick up the phone cuz I'm true with it And you're new with it. I just swang the thing and then I'm through with it I don't need friends it act like folks cause I'm Luke Gomez The one who knows about things cause it takes you and we swing Better than you, and it's time for the dub and we roll to the club And you know just what I do, I'm hitting in the freak zone Putting on the mo, bending on a man and then loam my hold

Univision comes from bottom to top And I just can't stop 3-11 showing that the air is rare-fired Don't give a damn cause the groove is hella fine Drew Wap Punk Listenin' to funk on my habit type of phone There's not touch, showin' you're at the back Or the pack on the bottom of the stack Get back what you get when you're steady talkin' shit

Gone for self, shit is on the shelf It's 95 and we go for the high Boner Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. Look at the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic?

No! What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's... 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it.

Way both sides of the coin. I love doing it. Side to the coin. That's how it all holds the odds you love apart. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lives. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. That's it, we're here. We are in trucking here.

And we're gay. We are gay. We are queer. We're queer. We're queer. Give us a lot of beer. I like beer. Oh, god damn it. You know I have a problem. I like beer.

Alright man, we are live once again in the YKWD studios. And today, Oh, long, just day Day at your birthday Baby, for two years Let's see, it's your birthday Baby, for two years No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bobby to birthday 4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-3-4-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-4-4-3-4-3-4-4-3-4-3-4-4-4-3-4-3-4-4-3-4-3-4-4-3-4-4-3-4-4-4-3-4-4-3-4-4-4-3-4-4-4-4-3-4-4-4-3-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-3-4-4-4-4-3-4-4-4-3-4-4-4-4-4-3- I He's on my mic and you you fucking deep black voice I need extra light so on that mic That's just spedified They smell good. Yeah, I do

I um all right. Well here we are man, and that's my birthday Forty-three years old. I forgot it was my birthday. I keep forgetting, because I'm so fucking, what are you doing? What? Are you on your phone? No. Are you on your phone? No, I'm not on the phone dude, I'm on my phone that's kind of in my hand.

If you don't, you're on my fucking security guard. We have phone dial now. So Kelly's phone rat? That's fucking rat, you're fucking rat. You're just a rat like everybody else, the whole family. See the phone pigeon. We, yeah, we have phoned you out now So if you get caught using your fucking phone are looking at your phone Kelly

I know this is the thing with this Puerto Rican in the fucking oven. You know he knows the fucking little scams You said goddamn charming Magic he knows like I was let a hand mother fuck. There was a cover this magic. He's sort of a bitch. Lewis is not charming Yeah, he's charming sweet and funny, but charm Charmed a fucking you know something Nice, oh, you look hilarious Joe West hair Jill is forehead my hair is way better than that. It sits up on top of his head. It's just hair line.

My hair itself is much better than that. I got Jill's hair for the show. Oh, James, do come true. That's my wig. Yeah, today was a very, oh, Jesus Christ. I mean, so God damn, I mean so goddamn busy. So damn busy, moving, I'm selling, I'm moving, I gotta move on Monday to a temporary house

that is on the market, a friend of mine, and if it could possibly get sold, like right away, which means I would have to find another place right away to live. My place buddy. Yeah, with my baby and my wife. Why not? like right away which means I would have to find another place right away to live. Not place butting. Yeah, with a baby and my wife. Why not? So it's pretty crazy.

It's been crazy. Every, you know, plus the kid, no, I don't have a second. There's no, you know, I don't wake up this morning for all that inside parking. Fuck you all the time. I did that. It sucks. I had to. I had to. The the one who told me to

fucking do it I know it sucks though you gotta get you stay in the car the whole time what did you find it's about I stayed in the fucking car I stayed in the fucking car what is that fucking home I hear it my thing what is it a lot of buzzing I don't think that comes out on the show though I think that that happens a lot. It's not actually in the recording. Let me hear you, bro. You, it ain't me. No, no, no, it ain't me. I don't know what the fuck that is.

Anyways, I'm not living in Harlem. There was on each side of the street, there was two street cleanings a week from 730 to 9. So like four days a week I had to get up at 7 30 and move my car Crazy my parents are dead your problems seem really Parents been dead for so long my my my my my my my my my fuck. I don't see my parents either. Yeah, but that's their choice It's not their choice Louis. I Just haven't seen my father. Are you parents? You just don't have parents? No, I have parents I don't talk to my mom anymore and I don't like with that. Why that's on someone like a black kid a big black kid You guys usually a really mom mom was boys. No, I'm a mom's a user and want to like audits you mom uses people like emotionally

People drugs with every kid and vibrators Roblox Tomsy uses coke washes using the vibrates Your mom was on Girl Code? What did he mean she's a user? Ah, ah, ah, ah, Bada Bing, Zing! That was the one, man.

Anyways, well, yeah, it's been crazy. And today I forgot I was my birthday. I spent the morning with my management looking at theaters to shoot my special. I thought you chose the theater already. The date we wanted on one they couldn't do and then the other one which was around the corner of Meneta Lane theater which was beautiful. They could only do it one day and that was comics come home which I'm doing this year which is huge. Fucking Jimmy Fallon's on it.

It's just everybody and everybody's on this fucking show. I know they're gonna try to put me up a last, just to take a hit, because when it's all headliners or big stars, nobody wants, everybody wants that sweet spot. So it goes to the most famous person, and then you know, it usually trickles down, and then I go up last to close it out. And everybody's like, who's this?

Um, who else is on? I don't know, it's a big, uh, get on the interior of the, oh, hang on. I don't know, the buzzing is crazy. Yeah. Is it bad? It's pretty bad. I can hear it. I can hear it.

I can hear it, but I don't think, here's the thing. I think it's coming just at her headphones. It's not coming on the recording. But why? Fine, I can't be blamed blamed Bobby did a show last night so it can't be my fault Oh, it can be your fault It's all mine guys. I don't know what it is. I can't fix it now for good So anyways, we just writing comics home. Yeah, it's gone

Yeah, I so we had to go look at new theaters today and She's actually doing show prep. She's looking for the lineup for comics come home trying to be Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris is job, but Kelly's trying to prove to me that she's better when she's not a two-four Chris than Chris I had a better Anything. Yeah, so is it she's not. Oh, too short Chris. Thank Chris. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that.

I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that.

I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that. This is the one in Boston. Um... Yeah, she may be Kelly is better than you.

It's on November 16th. Yeah, I know when it is. Dennis Lairie. I know when it is. I want to know the fuck is on it. Kelly, do you got it? I think. I can't navigate this phone.

Oh, scope. Navigate anything. Oh shit. Why are you coming down at us? She's doing better than you. Kelly can't find the other six. Kelly's pissing me off lately. Really? Whoa!

Why are you on ticket master? I feel like the lineup would be on a common website. You're on ticket master looking for a lineup. Yeah, he's an asshole. Go to apostle.com. apostle.nyc.com? Yep. Oh, because somebody's managed by them too.

Thank you, Buddhist man. I know what you're saying. Possible.com is just some fucking Christian fag say. So you want to go there, you're not finding. We did the show last night with Bailey J. It was a special show with Bailey J. A horror, Halloween, whatever show. I'll show it with Ken from the, what is it? The bleak.

Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh Can we yeah, I feel like everything but Chris's waist is growing week by week like everything I told them I told him last night there. It's a costume party podcast. So we showed up You should I want you dressed up before everyone comes upstairs. All right He shows up. He dressed like ice man from top gun. He's got a jumpsuit. Says top gun with mirror shits and his fucking hair We yeah, do you want to know who's on it? Yeah, I do. Hey, buddy. Somebody else stressed the,

oh, it has featured, uh, Hey, ice man. Haha. It's just that it has featured certain people. Oh, Jesus Christ. Type it in 2013, fucking, he doesn't know how to do it. I did.

Can I just look on my phone for this, because I'm not fucking, yeah, I will allow you out of probation, phone jail. Okay, hold on one second. So anyways, I'll detect somebody in the comments come home 2013 lineup Jesus do you have theory? No, he doesn't have Siri. He's Puerto Rican. He has fake Siri He has

No, he has send you a pizza I'm not mean. No speak English Tracy Morgan Jimmy Fallon I found a first Oh my god, that was on it. That was people who have been on it. Can just Who is it? Who is it? Who's on it's its john moanie yep jimmy fell in yep robber kelly yep uh... uh... uh... uh... going by memory now because i remember gary gallham tom cauter

yet called gary gulman tracy morgan and he rogerson yeah this is the i've got any rogers uh... michael mickell that's how you know I do not forget. A reunion of Earth-Win and Fire. It's a killer lineup. I mean, I would not want to follow Morgan or Fat.

You know the scariest guy on that lineup is John Mulaney. He's great dude. He's fucking so funny dude. He is a best. He has a fucking best. I'm not the same type of beast that Kelly Fistoukas. We're not talking physical. Jesus. Oh, we beast. We're not talking physical,

as we beast, we're talking about on stage. You know what Kelly, she really did fucking just step on you. That was almost impressive. That was, look at her, she fucking likes it. Drag my legs. She fucking, you got it. And I was like really proud, like, oh my god, Lewis, you are what I think you are.

A real last dude and she stepped right on right on I literally went from looking at you to staring right at For stoka because she said it like better than you more confident and you would just go And I did it for you and she stepped in you she pushed your button and made you freak out like a fucking gorilla That's not as banana taken away. I so easy to make Lewis mad and when he gets mad, he loses. I mean, I mean, that's the best. So do you know me fucking people have photoshopped my face out of gorilla in the past week? I see.

I mean, it's unbelievable, dude. I know. What was the Empire State Bullying was good. That was good. That was my album cover. I swear to God, when I mixed statutory ape, the album, that's gonna was my album cover. I swear to God. That was really good. When I mixed statutory ape the album, that's gonna be my album cover.

That was really good. I'm not even lying about it. How why for you to do it? And then I said no, because six months early I was some fucking shitty. I put my eye to did it before you and still a name. What's that story? No, a band actually has a song called statutory ape

because I googled it after I said it. You need to like tame that shit. It's so funny though, it's just your skin is so dirty dark that every picture It just it looks Photoshop because you don't have good. You just dirty I'm sure that band will have broken up by the time you file enough material for an album Kelly you're all right with me. Yeah sweet gallon. I've always liked you. Thank you. I like you too We're just naming

non-truths right now and not yours. So it's my it is my birthday. I don't I My anniversary's in two days. Would you get me birthday anything? I haven't gotten well my management got me a wig What are you doing free anniversary? Took me out to lunch. That's a possible little possible in my C.com, right? I'm gonna laugh at universe took me out to lunch that's a possible little possible on my c.com right It's Lewis's kind of management. Yeah, they're working with me there They call you they called hip-pocketing A lot of meetings Yeah, I don't know what the fuck I got nothing. I got nothing on my birthday. You know the one good thing though

is that my mother called me yesterday. Oh, that's sweet. We haven't talked in a while. You know, we had that big fight and she had called me on the seventh and wish me happy birthday. Did he hear birthday was yesterday? I know.

Yeah, that's what I called it back. I go, it was so sweet, my, if I was born on the seventh, but I was, and she always makes me have a come to it which goes, do you know where you were? Do you know where you were 43 years ago today? And I was like, inside of you? I don't want to say it. Can we just, can we call me tomorrow and ask me that question? I don't know in the hospital with you would I feel more comfortable saying that.

I did comedy for the first time on October 8th. I did comedy for the first time on your 30th birthday. No shit. Yeah, that's interesting. I did, I'm not interested. I'm on October 15th. Did you really, how do you know this shit? I was October 29th.

Because I produced my own show, and I remember it well. I don't remember the time, I don't remember when I did comedy. August 11th. Sometime in over last year Kelly for circus. Oh, we're date Scobo was August 11th 2013

Yeah, I'm so better than you Oh It's totally stop my hate Kelly stop my hate Kelly It's gonna be one of the guys trying to trash me and no I really have pissed off that you really left me off the tags And you just and then blatantly left me off Wait a minute. All right, stop stop stop I really feel like I shut up listen. This is let's explain what happened Last week we had a great episode I'm believe classic So you know I mean literally two weeks in a row they were just smoking fire episodes

do you already have an opinion about this Bobby can I just quickly ask yeah what you have already have an opinion about yes okay well here's a thing I didn't know it because Kelly and Skolpa take care of the Twitter and the Facebook I take care of the Twitter and the facebook i take care of the twitter and the facebook kelly that fucking wrong with you kelly hang on what's it got along no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no and that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that uh... did her job and did it well was very good literally flawlessly stepped into a shoes the boy debaterably better than Kelly well i'm not getting into the

the data i'm saying i'm not saying better than saying to be done saying that he stepped in and did these fucking great guy that both great people i chose a great person to feel my shit you did you chose a great person and Kelly is a great person you both do it she's comes back and i decided to keep christ too because i didn't want to i'd yeah can i make a little side note please See how she, like, you, when you make a, when you make a side note, I want you to hold up the magic wand. No, I grant you the

side note. So you have to hold up your hand. Wait a minute. Hold up your hand. Hold up your hand. You have to hold up your hand and, yes. I just want to make a note that Kelly actually hang on. You don't make the notes. I give you the thing. Can I make a side note? Good. Ding. Thank you. Okay. Kelly actually just took credit don't make the notes I give you the thing can I make a side note good ding thank you Kelly actually just to credit for Chris being good did you see that I don't know you said no you said Chris is going to do a great job unbelievable a lot and she goes I found a great person for the show that's what she said she did she did that's one of the side note she found a great person she said I

for Chris's greatness I just need to really express this. I think I'm gay I've never felt better than with a wand in my hand I feel like this is what I should have been doing my whole life Expelli armists Expelli armist How about this ta da How about this ta da turn to shit? You look at that, it's amazing!

That was a two-parter, I needed somebody else to back me up on that one. I knew a fucking Joe Liss wasn't gonna do it. He's too busy trying not to fucking wet his teeth. I thought you had already made the joke, I thought that was the joke. Anyways. So, Kelly came back. I kept Chris because Chris is, I think they, you know, Chris is going to produce the show when we get the video going. And Kelly is, you know, doing what she, what do you do? No, I'm kidding. Kelly does, you know, her stuff. And last week she left Chris out of the fucking Twitter. The Twitter announcements. You hear, you know, here stuff. And last week she left Chris out of the fucking Twitter. The Twitter announcements,

you know, here's your problem when I said, you look dude, you know what, you didn't have, there wasn't enough room. But if you deleted some of your shit little fucking wordiness, there was plenty of room to put Scoper in there. And also, if I personally, if I was doing Twitter, I would never do that to anybody

on the show. I would find a way or do a second tweet. I do it to myself. Bobby, can I interject then? Please. I need the wand. You need granted. I'm sorry.

It's not interjecting. But I do it to myself because we ran out of character. Kelly, I'm interjecting. I would rather... Hang on. Shit. You know what you said to me last time? Shit.

Ting. I noticed on the last video that came out for this week's episode Chris's name was listed twice And the actual video was Twitter was listed twice. That was that Kelly putting that together because I mean kind of balance That's Kelly I didn't I didn't do that. Oh, I'm sorry. I want to know why Kelly. I want to know why you didn't put him in Because I ran out of characters and what I do is I try and make up for things like. You did six great characters last week on the show. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. Good thing. That was nine weeks ago. So like if I do a follow Friday, I'll put it in or blah blah blah. And if there's lesser people, then you know, other people get, well, there's not as many people. We had a full studio. And I I chose hang on I chose to put the stand and Aaron

Bergen because they have thousands of followers and bring up the tweet to bring up the tweets oh she said that I didn't put you when because they have thousands of followers and you don't I said well that's how I get more followers that is fucking true Kelly him retweeting to 160 people does shit for the show I want the stand yeah but he retweeted from 60,000 people and although people follow me 63 63. Yeah, but then we've got 15,000 who may have not have. Hang on, hang on, one second. First of all, please with your fucking your fat leg, Chris, because you're shaking everything.

All right. You know, you have muscles in your ass that you don't even know about. Okay. I don't need you fucking ruining my equipment because you're a midget ass muscle fucking doesn't know it's all a stretch. Roberto, may I, can the one please? Thank you.

So this is my extremely wordy text, oh tweet. You, Ep, Robert Kelly sits with Dancer to Lewis Gomez, Joe Luscomany, Aaron Berg, the Stan, Kelly Vistiga, Link, that's it. No, there was something else at the end. There was a hashtag. I'll retweet it. Share, retweet.

Yeah, share, retweet. You don't need to take out new app, because they don't stop. I tried putting it in. Shush. Could've called them Bob Kelly. Shush. Shush.

No, no, I'm still on the app one. Shush. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm so I'm not one I'm not one This is spelled withers you put it on you I just respecting the wand on my birthday No Bobby You could have took out new app and Retweet and share we share our tea share our tea. You don't need to. When we have that many people on, which we rarely do, you could put, you put every, it's more important to get,

look it, why do you do this show? What is one of the benefits you get out of doing this show? How many followers do you have, Kelly? Meeting comedians, six of us, how many? How many followers? How many followers? How many? How many do you have Lewis?

1726 you have more than Lewis Gomez Nobody has more than Lewis Gomez Professional baseball player I think you guys can't I want you name Joe Joe Joe I'm a regular coke do we have regular coaks for Joe list, please know that diet coke can we not have a side? Conversation please Do we have regular cooks for Joe less please know that diet? Cook can we not have a side conversation please? Get me a dog get the coke and shut it No regular coaks we're a coke zero I have the one right hey hey why are they no faithful? Hey why are they no fucking regular coaks for Joe list? I had I had something they last night

Where the fucking regular coaks? Risen Skopo's name was not where are the coaks regular coaks? There's fucking regular coaks? Where are the coaks regular coaks? There's no regular coaks The last regular cook I took the last regular It doesn't matter the regular coaks of a joe list. That's it. He's on a fucking sobriety Drinking I'm so you know this we had this conversation. Oh, right Well, you know what you know that you can I'm then if you're not drinking You're in the program

Okay, listen here is the only stop pretending that this fucking this is not 9.11 Why is Boston strong like a thing like that's not it's not the same level? Are you kidding? I love it? I didn't say New York strong. Yeah I'm also didn't fucking get a shit. I was just taking a shit out of my drawer. They had never forget that was the thing. I was there. I was strong, never forget.

I was a victim. You weren't a victim, Joe. You were at a fucking pub bar having wings. I was there. It wasn't a victim, it was a survivor. I was a survivor. I was a victim and then I was a survivor. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. Turn that fucking AC back on. If you turn it off again. I'll snap your pinky thing. It's so cold turn The fucking AC on Major the cast oh you know what outside it's warm when they have ice cold coke Can you scope over giving you a better coke? Yeah, all right somebody you want some at coke and Yeah, what do you want Jeff? I got you give me a nice All right, somebody wants some coke and what do you want, Jeff? I got you. Give me a nice cold, bright red coke.

Like, you know, baboon ass red. Yeah. And what else do you want? Maybe some playing him an oms. Playing him an oms. Anybody else? I'm taking an order. Um, how about you, ma'am?

We've had a food in the studio. Oh, you know, no food in the studio. And that's just a food though. No, I, it's not, you can't have it. This goes right in the mouth. No, it's good. Put down. You get, I can't have it. It goes right in the mouth. Put down You get listen up the body. Here's a deal. You can have you can have an Listen as long as you eat no you listen you can't have any M&M You can't have any M&M's at all. All right. I won't have any M&M. All right. Yeah, you know I

Want to have any dark chocolate pretzel M&Ms at all. All right, I won't have any M&Ms. All right. Yeah. You know, I will not have any dark chocolate pretzel M&Ms. Listen, that's it. I want to get back on course. I'm, you know, I'm tired today and I'm a little out of it. And I usually have to control you fucking savages. No offense from where I'm talking. I'm talking, I guess I'm not talking that. What are you, I didn't know that. I didn't want you to be offensive you to okay. I just didn't know I'm not a sensitive guy, man. Okay listen I'm a little monkey on it. What?

Tame starts so far. Yeah, it's very tame because you like it. That's all right. I don't Bobby do you want anything? No, no So let's say of the Halloween Snickers bars. They're the Halloween version this Lab, we'll make them in here would we know we would never eat them in here listen here we go I would eat here here. Here's the deal Here's the fucking deal, okay, yeah, Kelly you left him out you shouldn't have left him out You left a member of the team a valuable member of the fucking team out of a tweet The one thing that I can offer you

I can't offer you the money. I can't give you a fucking you know, so you don't have to have a day job You can just do this all the time because if I could I do this I do this five days a week and I'd make everybody give everybody money Yeah, okay, but I can't no Someday right? No, I don't know So anyways, here's the deal. Kelly, what I do give you, you have 3000 followers that you wouldn't have had. Correct?

Yes. How many people follow you again? 3,400. That's a lot of fucking people. I think you're confusing it that it was like a vindictive thing yeah like for me I'm thinking I don't think you I don't think you I don't think you were a bit vindictive I think you were being not careless because I knew I tried to put his name in fit Vend vagina of no no I think I think she actually I think there's a part of her that is threatened

by Chris being the new guy in the group. And she just said, well, all right, let me just show where like I'm in charge here of something. Power play. Yeah, the way you gave yourself credit for him being good. Well, because we're being a smite us. And then you also, the way you said,

like, oh, you don't have thousands of followers. You should be here for this though. No, no, no, no, He's retarded. Chris is valuable. Chris is head and ass match. They both are same size, and that's not right. He needs to be here to hear this. So, function is not right. Today, I did a tweet, and I left myself out because it was more to say it overrather. But you tweeted it, people know.

No, they tweeted it from the podcast. My name was nowhere in it, but I still took time out of my day. I snuck off to the bathroom Yeah, but it'll probably get more tweets because I'm working and put a tweet out for the show But people know your associate with show Some of them do some of them don't if they come in now they don't know that I'm here all the time Will you stop doing whatever fucking molested thing? You stop sucking on the microphone you That's why these things stink. Could you keep rubbing your mouth on it?

Don't suck them, Lewis. I don't know, I always do, I always do. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, don't do it because you fucking molested as a Puerto Rican baby. Fucking stop a niac at the mall. You had a suck a dick and a fucking broom closet at the mall.

Can I say mall twice? Yeah, mall. Yeah. Yeah, he said malls Here's a deal. Yeah Kelly you don't leave you always put the person in he People should be fall. I want people to know who Chris is I want them to know who you guys are. I want them to know him and row I want you know my 63,000 people to know who the fuck you guys are

So my fans go to your shows, my fans support you. And then we have this big thing of people that support all of us, yes. Yeah, sure. Interbeing. Interbeing. Interbeing. I mean, I'm really into Buddhism these days.

It's all an interbeing. You see the clouds, they rain, and then the rain gets in the soil. and then the soil causes the fruit, and then the fruit we eat the fruit. You're into being an asshole right now. What'd you say? I said, you don't eat fruit, but I eat fruit. Why would you, you know, that's very not Buddhist of you. No, you eat fruit. You eat fruit rushers.

You eat fruit rollups. That's different. I don't like that you fucking, you punched up your own joke on the roll. You eat fruit gushers. I know nobody knows what that means That's fucking project fruit roll ups Lewis sounds like slough from the guinea's root baby Wow someone passed that bandana We're on your back like you do mostly a boyfriend

She's losing weight. She's not getting funny. It's pronounced her job. She lost the shift at her fucking job That's why she's losing weight. I can't eat. I'm joking. You look great Kelly. Yeah, you do look great for a poor woman Huh, what the fuck did you just say? What it what are you poor? No, what do you live? Brooklyn but this up poor Monroe is he's so so poor that he won't admit that he's poor That's like really really deep in the fucking dark like you're not money. Well money do you have that? Wait, let's do it. He's doing very well. Yeah, I pay rent off of comedy Here's a deal. First of all, what rent?

His rent is $85 a week. No, this is 500. It was good. That's pretty good. See? Pay that. Yeah. So cheap.

Yeah. 500 a month. Boom. That's great. That's $500 a month. Boom. That's great. That's $500 a month.

Boom. That's great. That's $500 a month. That's $500 a month. That's $500 a month. Metra PCS I know team mobile. Oh, you're fucking apple What about what both he jerk? I want I want I'm gonna roast you rich for Eminem's Not poor for Eminem guys guys. There's a million fucking things going on. Hey Chris. Yeah, let's move on But he's fucking talking to him. You're talking to him. You're fucking yelling shit out to him. Nine conversations going on What was that doing don't leave me? You're not at a bus stop Trying to fucking run a show here and doing a professional way Where you get paid? No, I don't get

What did you get me you fucking ass? You let me out the riff. I said if they have the Snickers bar the Halloween version of the Snickers bar it's flatter you didn't check give me some of those peanuts my birthday I don't even have a fucking treat the scope of a shape like one of them wrestling buddy all right back listen here's a deal Kelly I want you to go back and sit down scope oh I'm gonna put my thumb inside a scope us back and play with him I think if you acted out it was gonna get fun here. We had a good laugh over here. We're not at one of your shows Move the mess Listen stop fucking using my my covers as cocks Right, you're gonna suck on something get the fucking Get the bottle open around suck on that I have a deal doing my back. Take it out and suck on it

Do you forget Bobby it's cocktober? It's cocktober by the way. Thanks Bob for re-vining that I got like fucking 25 vine followers because of your I know that's what I'm I great point. That's the point of what I can do for you friends do for each other. No You can't do that for me You know I'm helping you move on Monday Wait, I was gonna ask you if you can help too, but I Bobby fucking told me I was like you to What help? Joe's gonna move one pencil at a time in his mouth

I only have to get it. I only laugh because it's stupid. Can you have the my? Joe do me a favor move those needles But I have arms I would enjoy it more if I didn't have arms. Hey, Joe see those Starbucks straws take those to the van I think I got the best body in this room He does no way no way I got a better body than Joe stand up he doesn't have no stand up muscle man so stand up next to him stand up next to shirt off Kelly hold on let me throw up real quick Kelly get out get out of the way shirt off shirt off shirt off's off take your shirt off then

Hold on time out time out time out go both of them better shape let me see time out one more way so scubo looks like fucking um the grizzly man he looks like a fat scubo looks like a scubo keep your shirt off take it off scubo looks like a woman who had a tits removed from her body he's scubo look scubo you scobo looks like a muscle on her. Scobo looks like a rufflin promoter. Scobo, you look like shares son, daughter.

Oh, no. No, Joe, look at a look at Joe. Joe, he looks like a bottle for the shitiest wranglers. Joe, you can tell Scobo's nervous about his body because he won't let his shirt down. He is Wrangler's Ha ha ha ha Joe Wrangler's on a heroin Jigsawbo, you can tell Scobo's nervous about his body because he won't let his shirt down. Joe took that shirt and threw it across the rope. Scobo's holding on to it like yeah Joe's sexier because of the confidence. Yeah, Joe, you know what?

Joe wins because his confidence. Look at that. Yeah, look at that. He's not doing his best. Well, the truth is, I'm actually, I mean, look better at my shirt. I mean, way better shaped than both of you put together No, I don't look at my show them I get back put like listen girls get back on the mic But I'm more athletic than both I could go run further. I could fucking lift more weight. Yes, I can dude

Are you crazy about basketball baseball? You're actually better better at your better basketball I play basketball with you I threw the football the Lewis you got scared of it I'm not in the balls. I just ate all of them rose Eminem's I didn't have a dad so nobody ever played ball with me There's no way you're better at sports than me. I didn't say better at sports I'm said I'm more athletic than you I can do more physically than you can probably lift more than me I don't want the night. I have more muscular Muscular and cardiovascular endurance.

No, I think I can run. I can run you. No, you can't. I'm telling you, I go to the gym fucking fort as a week. It shows. Can we see your body, Lewis? No, Kelly, can we see your body, you fat bitch? Whoa!

Lewis! It's that on the fuck channel! I'm sorry. I loved the first half. What the fuck would you say that? I'm sorry, I know what she's doing to me No, no, no, no, she doing because when he walked in I said I got Lewis you look good. You really so I want to see the difference I'm sorry. I should have said to show your body

She's what the fuck finish what you're saying because I wanted to see how you've changed because a few weeks ago We saw you and it was you know gross. It was gross casting. I can see it's lost weight I don't see it looks like I love the nice thing I was just back pedaling because she saw that you were really angry look you can fucking curl your bicep all you want when you stupid birch tree tattoo which makes me fucking want to puke every time I see it stupid Vermont tattoo I get a birch tree man it means who gives a fuck? I think you're meaningful tattoo Bert tree better than my ludog tattoo. I don't I'd actually like the ludog better than the birch trees Because you can't even tell it's a birch tree. It's just there's no color in it. It just like lines

Stupid it. Oh, it's not shaded in yet. It's gonna be shaded in when when my buddy cheese comes back into town I listen here we go. I enough enough Kelly Why did you leave him out because I didn't have room and you think she jealous of what that? I'm on the show now That's not a good reason to be jealous that I'm taking over some of her responsibilities Are you really is that ball of you? No? Honestly, listen here's the fucking thing, okay? On honestly, God, you can tell me. Yeah.

Because you look at this, you were it. You were on a book to show. You did the Facebook. You, you, you, you know, you're not, put your suction cup dick on your forehead. Well, Bollywood, it's like asking me not to breathe fuck you buddy Here's your birthday. You can fucking invade my life Man I have permission to Instagram

Yes, here's permission. Go ahead. All right. Let's do as me permission. That's a conjugal visit Listen, that was a damn funny line. That was a conjugal visit from foreign jail. Listen, that was a damn funny line. That wasn't funny line. I have a meeting jail. Kelly, I think, all right, just do it without fucking taking over the, having a whole bee plot to the fucking show. Kelly. Yes, mate.

A lot of dick and fucking skin. Listen, listen, Joe, just take the fucking photo. Don't make it a fucking project I'm in the middle of something I want to know but the dick blended in with his forehead. There's similar shade Yeah, yeah, cuz he has shit tan skin Because of his fucking parents that are dead Listen Kelly don't cry No, the dick on your forehead Listen we got you take. I want I want stay focused on the fucking thing at hand

That's what I'm saying. I'm doing it. Can I just say I want to know Kelly? No, you can't say shit Can we just be mature for one minute? Listen here's the deal Kelly. I want to know I honest to God I want you to be honest don't lie to me.. Does it bother you that, what's your name? You've got a little bit of grief. What's your name? Chris Scopo. Chris J Scopo.

Chris J Scopo. That's a G Scopo. G Scopo has taken over some of your responsibilities. Is it, are you letting him know? I mean, why would you leave him out of the thing? I left him out because I didn't have enough room. And then you had enough room. And then, uh, You had enough room for retweet, share, and fucking new app.

Well, you don't need to beat new app. I don't even remember share being on the show. Ha ha ha a loose bar. It was no one in our edition is either. Okay. Okay. This is the Joe I want. Anyway. I don't want B plot side condo Joe. Can I get Eminem's a Coke and an Instagram Joe?

I want, I want fucking the Zing Joe. I got Eminem, I knew, I knew Coke. I was like, right, red Coke. This is a black Coke. It's a Coke. I don't mean a race thing. I'm gonna I knew I knew yeah, I know right red coke. This is a black coke It's a coke I don't mean a race thing. I'm gonna bright It's a like a black coke can listen Kelly do are you? Do you have a problem with them? No, no, I it's actually being good to have someone help me out. Sorry I just heard Chris. No, it's been great because I've had someone to help out because Sometimes I have a little work to do and I can't finish everything else. So why did you leave me off though?

That's the thing. I've said it like eight times like I didn't have any room, but then when I do other stuff Or why don't you how about this why don't you leave yourself out? Today I left myself out because I wanted to put in Subscribe blah blah because I want to make sure people know to subscribe. Putting people's names in there, yes Barbie, it's very important that everyone gets followers and gets a following. But it's also important that I remind them to, you know, one day I'll say subscribe, one day I'll say we're real treat, one day I'll say share.

I always change it up because it's important to make that. The next year I see Madonna. Fans, not only do they follow us, but it's the show. I'm only one little part of the show and the show is more important than I am for sure if I could turn back time I think if I could find a way I take back all those words that I've heard you and you say if I could reach the stars oh god I would ruin this bitch listen nobody thinks Kelly stinks more than I do

I think this is just an honest mistake or she's had a thing I think that he he was the least most fucking whatever. It's expendable and it was one time in Biblie Boo. Now, that being said, certainly I still think she's jealous of Scopo, but I don't think it was a malicious move. I think she ran out of space. All right, how do you feel about that? But also she's jealous and stinks.

If you look at the tweet from today, I didn't put myself on this. I didn't put me in there either. It's important that you're in the tweet. No, I just thought that I would have, if I was doing the tweet, I would have either sent another tweet out, or I would have... That's not the idea. Or...

Why is it a waste? Because if you start bombarding tweets... Tweets... Kelly. Where she was in Australia, I didn't tweet her on the show, but every follow Friday, I did put her in there. Yeah, you're in the follow Friday. When she told me, she goes, tweet follow Friday,

everyone who was on the last episode show. But I put you in there. Yeah, but I put people there on the show. I also put Colin Quinn in there, I put Jim in there, I always change it up. Yeah, because they put people that were on the show. I also put Colin Queen in there. I put Jim in there always change it up Yeah, because any more followers. No, but because it's just nice to like follow people like I think you're being really sensitive about it No, I just thought that looked a little fucking disrespectful. It's not disrespectful. I think Like if you have a problem just say just talk I did a text you yesterday and you said stop being a girl. Yeah, I said no

I did a bitch you fucking chick What is more what is more manly than confronting somebody that you feel has wronged them? I think you're a real man Thanks, you're not a real ass dude. There's only one real ass dude in this room. What would a real ass dude have done? What would I've done in your place or in Chris's place in my place? I wouldn't have bought it. If Kelly ever left me off the Twitter, I would fucking tell Beatrice to stop booking her to LL First Well, I guess I just wouldn't be a chicken better. I'd just go on with my day What about you if she left me off, I would bother her. But would you think that I would be malicious against you like that?

Yeah. No, I really? I mean, not malicious. Kelly, you have your own little ways, your own little things you do, your passive aggressive chick chicks. No, I... Oh, yes. 100%. Yes. We're guys. So we're a little bit more aggressive.

You're saying that passive aggressively? You fucking asshole. What was that? Do you think we're guys, so we're a little bit more aggressive. You're saying that passive aggressively. You fucking asshole. Do you think we're shitty dumb fucks that we're just gonna go, why me, if you're new proper acting, you don't know proper acting. Then I passive aggressive really really. Chris is like Chris. Can I just say something?

Chris is literally, he's furious. He's furious. I couldn't be more kind, but you remember the rules when you get mad you lose So just I think I'm winning right now actually Kelly Kelly's also manipulative She knows that Bobby has a soft spot so when Bobby starts giving her shit. She does a Bobby and just saying Bobby, but this is a little cock it. Bobby immediately is like, oh boy, I better not. She's good. You feel bad. You already feel bad for the fuck.

No, don't feel bad. Kelly, you like to have a little bit of control. This is one thing in your life. The only thing in your life that you have some sort of control over. You have control over everything. No, not your eating, not your comedy spots, not your fucking. Jesus Christ. Not a little day then. She looks a little bit like a little bit. Comparatively to what? No, no, no, no, you're eating not your comedy spots Comparatively to what I'm come on I just feel like this game bird Kelly for we don't need to make things up

Kelly does Kelly does look good. She likes that waitress Pelletra's from the 40s name flow Waitress Pelletale waitress from the forties named flow Can you pass that band? Again, I can't go because he's Please that fucking bomb tied around that bomb. You like having a little like that I remember the one time that I I didn't have time to refill the refrigerator beers after the hammer fist Yeah, you relished in telling Bobby that you couldn't wait to go back to Bobby and say, all right

I might he's taking the beers and he's not placing them. Yeah, no Probably what happened he would have gone Kelly. That's not why didn't you call Bobby? Wait a minute first of all He called Bobby stop first. Well, don't do me as the mean asshole All right, when you do me and the pantomime you go excuse me Kelly. I want to nicer me What no, I really call Bob. Oh fuck was that Kelly's impression of you my impression Kelly of you That was like when Danero No, so you give gonna give you one second.

One second. Murrow, give me a mic check. Just a mic check. Give me a mic check. All right, it works. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call.

I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I'm just gonna give you a call. I'm saying I situation would be ball out of proportion. She apologized right and that should be the end

I'm gonna check on it just include him in a couple of texts first. Well, you can't do the show anymore And let's you wear your glasses and khakis No, you come in with a bulls hat on and some fucking tight jeans. I'm scared. I'm sitting down You smatted with glasses and when we're gonna check on the first of the month He's just gonna lay around for the next couple of years. Shut up, you dirty Puerto Ricans, fucking good. You got to him. No, I'll put your jacket on. I need a red shirt with my red hat.

We'll call you a shiggas. That's not like a hip hop, Eric. They're not tight. I'm just sitting down. That's it? I don't know. I feel like she apologized. It wasn't a big deal because you can tag him in more fucking

bit go further shut out Joe dig it dig it dig it dig it dig it dig it Revealing the secrets of the show you jokes. This is making it go further though. Listen, I got it. Say you know what I agree with Monroe, show over. Oh man, yeah man. Come on, let's go. All right.

Have you breathed, eh? Oh. Listen, Monroe. What's a birthday? No, I said birthday. All right. I don't say ax and fucking. I think I think Louis was, I love it.

I think Louis was, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love birthday. I don't say X and fucking verb. I think Lewis is on to something now. But look at Kelly, you know what I'm saying? Kelly's looking out for me. She's not looking out for you. Always. Okay, because her, she's me.

She takes care of all this shit. That's why B doesn't book her anymore. Why? Ooh. Yeah, but what if I did that to you? He was singing you. What if I did that to you? Did what to me? What if I stop booking you on the show? You just stop booking me? I don't like when you do that. I really don't

If anybody should book Kelly if anybody should hell it should be you It should be Joe. It should be scoper. It should be you. I did book Kelly twice in the last week You have first for spots. You should be fucking book and be scoper it should be you I did book Kelly twice in the last week You have first for spots you should be fucking book I don't book the show It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She really doesn't hide me to the head of kidding tell you does the show Most last time she did it like a week ago She I was hanging out and Kelly you were at a town for a fucking month and a half and you're forgettable. Lewis you really just heard man. I'm on your side. I'm on Kelly side. Kelly what are you doing Friday night? I'm at L.O.A. All night. Three shows, huh? I heard. Yeah I'm doing three. This is, you Kelly Jackson club work. This is this is what bugs me about Kelly. This is what bugs me about Kelly. Yeah, ready?

Okay, she says you don't book her right then I'm sitting there going you should fucking book her But you book there, but then she goes it's you working I'm working three checks, but she throws the checks bought in like she deserves And I had to I had to get that in there before someone else had a chance to tell by the way It's not just checks, but you're on standby so somebody's running late Definitely do all the checks boss Friday night to big deal Man, Manhattan no credits three shows on a Friday Nobody has ever done that for me in nine years in comedy nobody

I said what nobody comedy nobody's eyes. What? Nobody's anybody that has ever said me fucking tell you I brought you Fuck it ever say never to me mother fucker By the way, I'm going back from headline and a Wednesday comics. Yeah, but exactly that's great And I'm doing all the way and what because of what because of Robert Kelly? No because I'm not because of me It's because you but it's because I No, because I'm not because of me, it's because of you, but it's because I Give you the connections that I have and my responsibility to you guys is to tell people how great you are I tell people how great Joe list is I take tell people how funny Joe list is I tell people what how how what a great comic Joe list is I say Kelly's a good person at heart

I say Kelly's a good person at heart You know who's great Bobby I tell you what Lewis is fantastic Thursday night Lewis nearly get into a fight and it was On the street I want to hear the What did you do? I really like the fact that somebody hit her with a can Some of them threw a can of you. I'll tell you story I want to hear the story, but I want to hear it in detail not you a quick fast rusty You got hit me again fucking Puerto Rican verse. Yeah, right I wake up. Yes, I go to the bathroom. I look on that fucking

There was a morning I wake up. Yes, I go to the bathroom. I look on Not that fucking I don't want that fucking detail. Not all day you fuck oh Are from what we showed up at the standart. I showed up at the standart. I do want to know what color your dick is It's pretty brown. I love that it's scuba stop talking everybody turned on them We fucking stuck up for scuba for like two seconds. I said who's opening for you at fuck Scopo is that's right. That's all because he fucking took a ride with Kelly Kelly said hey Yeah, can you come up and hang out and uh, right? Yeah, and I said I wanted to meet Bobby come to fuck sweds And now look at him. He's right here. He's my fucking. He's ice man

He's my wing man. Kelly you shouldn't do that with funnier people though Oh god, go ahead. Tell me this is all the band-in on That was just a hurtful statement. So we go to the stand Kelly comes to me Um, you get a haircut next time you come in here, and I'm gonna get a haircut. That's why I would have had do you know black Tactics at all if you don't have a haircut you wear a hat. Well a hat. Do you know black tactics at all? If you don't have a haircut, you wear a hat. Well wear it. I can't because I have headphones on. I'm not on the train.

Black tits. But Louis is wearing a hat. He got a bow head and his hat's a shitty. I got it. Yeah, it stinks. Yeah, I've gotten really mainted. By the way, we have to talk about Monroe's fucking hair. We can talk about what we have.

After this way, I want to tell, I got, we have to. We got to take a break soon. So go ahead. So we go to the stand and me and Kelly show up and we're about to host a 10 o'clock show now that show in particular it's maybe the shittiest audience they're just drunk yeah good-looking like fucking jerk off like hipsters and yuppies and just the worst people ever right so we're about to go inside we're just hanging outside me in her in a couple comics and also in a rock a half full rock star energy drink comes flying up the door

And it fucking hits Kelly in the shoulder just brushes. It doesn't hit her hard We're being lagging like we don't live my leg. Oh, okay. I thought I hit you in the shoulder. I don't know Are you talking about the same thing? Are you talking about like a guy shut a load on you or you talking about a hand that you can That came full force on the other way to it was you, other way, hit him on the link. Okay. You're the worst fucking witness ever. I don't know, I was blinded by rage. Okay, go ahead. So I look in and I'm like, what the fuck, who the fuck through that?

And there's a fucking tall white guy with dreadlocks, kind of drunk and he's like, oh, hey man, sorry. And I was like, what do you mean you're sorry? Do you just fucking throw a can out the door and you hit my friend? And he's like, oh, sorry, I'm sorry about that. I was like, dude, what do you do? Go fucking pick up that can I? So I'm gonna pick it up. I don't know why and then he woke daddy. It's in the gut. It's in the gutter I don't want to pick it up now. I'm like fucking pick it up. Are you crazy?

Wait a minute Lewis. So the guy threw a can Accidentally hit Kelly. Yeah, he just threw it the door. A stupid thing. The shoulder leg. Right? Hit it on the shoulder leg. You might have been hurt. With a leg of the wing. And then the leg of the wing. So then, all right. So this is a Arty Lang. So, all right. So tell me this, Lewis Django, man. Thank you for coming on the RD Langshaw. I'm gonna be on this month, I believe. Yeah, you coming on, yeah, that's good. That's come on.

So Kelly for Stuka, she's on the front of the, the store there. What is this point? The, all out, all out, all out. What the stand? The stand, oh, it was over there one time. I think I got your show. I was over there one time. I think I got just all the way.

I was really doing it. He pulled the stomach off work. Oh, I'm sorry. Welcome back to the Arty Langshold. Those Bobby would just stab himself to death. Oh, Jesus Christ, man. How did it show his main today? It's not fucking that.

And that's not funny. You got the fuck there. You know, I had I wrote a book about that. It's out now that you can get it. It's called, my stomach has holes in it, con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. like sorry I took Kelly act like he was so you're him so can you get throw the can give me can I don't have one I got a bottle

through the water bottle on yeah perfect there's something in it I don't want to fuck you got a red can we improvise a can now I really feel like throwing a can throw it throw it throw it throw it and throw it loose Hi, there you go all right ready. No, no, oh Listen give me a you fuck put that down Don't throw a fucking can with coconut you just spill get a napkin Jesus Christ, dude, you know what I'm on Kelly side now Coco this faster than that Faster give me a fuck It's like aari up cocoa and it's faster than that Faster give me the fuck

It's like a metallic of recorder into the You know I an hour of a fucking show goes down the tube put the fucking can away Jesus Christ well, I got one kid. That's all I need. I don't need more You know give a little max of brother shut the fuck up Lewis fucking scopo just spilled fucking Original coke on my why now it's his fall because I told him to put it down for in the beginning not to fucking Fuck with a can of coke. I told him to get me a can of coke. It never got it Jesus Craig alright, so you throw the can and then what Jesus Craig? Jesus Craig alright, so you throw the can and then what Jesus Craig

Less popular cousin of Jesus Christ Christ oh Hey, hey fucking mohair cut. The Chinese 12. The bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobbin bobb No, no she throws it at you. You're the you she throws that at me. I'll punch her under Today, I swear I got him I didn't like listen all right, so listen just throw it at him I got you Kelly Kelly. Hey shut up. You know that I fucking punch you in your tit I'll fucking fight you you want to fight I'll do it. We're gonna fight one day Look at I'm not gonna be a fight. I'm gonna fucking suck you from the back with one of these fucking mic Stance I'm gonna fucking stanching your head Fucking mic stands suck something. I'm gonna fucking stanching your head

It's gonna start as a flat your wife gonna. Somebody tell him what a stanchion is listen I'll fuck you hit you with a Yankee candle She was legal in 13 states. All right. Here we go. All right, so yep, yep. God, just throw it. I- A-M-A-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- No, this is what Kelly does. Kelly you're gonna get some weight All right ready. Here we go I don't know he's a method actor with those arms Somebody I never saw somebody hella cab with underneath their All right, here we go now good she again What the fuck dude what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you throwing a fucking can up this door? There's people out here

What what the fuck is wrong with you? Yo go pick up that fucking can dude go pick it up right now Why pick it the fuck up cuz it's sitting on the street right? Are you fucking asshole? Yeah pick it up really yeah Well, it's in the gutter. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. You're gonna be in the gutter pick it up It's already on the road like pick it the fuck up So you picked it up that's it no okay? Tell me do cuz I was trying to you know just

What the fuck is she choking on a brief fucking chicken bone probably I don't know It doesn't breathe like that chicken. Well it's comedians penis Terrible I listen guys that one happens Nothing like you're not the same thing Yeah, you are the college motherfucker college agent This is a fuck up talking about knackered all day. It's ironic because he's never set foot inside of a college Right I'll take it from the Vry grad I'll take it from the Vrygrat. I wish you Lewis.

So then I have the degree in air conditioning repair. That's a great degree. That's something you learn from your uncle. Alright, let's go. Oh fuck, I'm funny, Scobo. Thank you. Alright, let's go to the Aquinas. I'll need your approval.

So Guy picks up the can, Bob. Yeah, picks up out of the gutter. A little bit of the awkwardness. Or need your approval. So Guy picks up the can, Bob. Yep, picks up out of the gutter. picks up the gutter. And then out of the gutter, Lewis is still at Yelenaum. Go, what the fuck's wrong with you? No, I come down after you've picked up. Maybe it could come down, anyway. Yeah.

Lewis goes inside. Yeah. And then about five minutes later, the guy walks out of the door. Lewis follows him, the guy. Well, let me tell you why you walked out of the door. Hang on, okay, so stop. Okay, go ahead.

So he's walking out your following following why because for the past 15 minutes I've been saying do something bitch do something where I'm not saying that to them he wouldn't they wouldn't let him You're doing that in my head. He was him and his girlfriend were crazy drunk And his girlfriend I guess was 18 so when they went to ID her because she tried to get more drinks Yeah, they wouldn't let her in there. They were already pre-drunk before they got there right so they're like Yeah, she can't go downstairs. She's 18 and hammered. You guys got to leave so they take them out But as they go to leave the guy with the fucking dreads who threw the can he starts smirking at me and like smiling and staring at me as he's leaving Let me like you maybe thought you were a nice guy didn't okay. He was trying to be like a he looked you up and down

He was trying to do did it. He's doing like an album. I'm outing okay so I'm you know, I turn into real ass dude, sex story ape. And I was like, what the fuck are you looking at dude? Are you fucking kidding me? Let me be him. Good. Yeah man.

What? I was just smiling man. Dude, the fucking, don't fucking look at me. Why can't I look at you man? Cause I fucking said some motherfuckin' ass. If you want, take your fucking ass. Oh, put it in the air, it's the direction. Oh, this what I said. Really? really I was like do not look at me mother

You said that's what if you look at me. I'm gonna break your fucking jaw What do you do and you look the way while girlfriend standing right there? I was okay. I you feel like an idiot don't you yet look like a bitch in front of your girlfriend at sucks Doesn't it bitch look back at me motherfucker? I dare you now. Yes to look back. No So you you said I dared him to look back. But because if he did, I was gonna break his fucking jaw. Now you break his jaw, then what happens? This is where I stand.

Hang on, hang on, stop. You break his jaw, then what happens? Oh, I'll tell you, you get arrested. And then you get arrested and he sues you, right? And then you, and then you can't go home to your kid, right? You don't realize to your kid. And then your kid's fatherless like you. And then your kid ends up? Yeah, and then your kid's fatherless, like you. Damn.

And then your kid ends up being a pretty swell guy. Yes. A while to recognize it, but then people were like, you guys are great guys. That's fucking one of the funniest guys in the earth. You're a sick. Mine is blown. Yeah.

His body's a little thicker than it should be, but I mean, seems like a loyal friend. As cock is tri-colored, but, you know, I look part of me. You gotta stop on Joe's podcast earlier. Great podcast. You know, I was okay. A big part of it is kind of like, like, look, he needed to be fucking told in the world. He does it.

He can't do that. Okay, here's the thing though. We got him. All right, I just wanted to fight someone. No, I don't want to fight anybody. You do that okay here's the thing no all right I just wanted to fight some no I don't want anybody you listen here's a deal when you threw a can of kelly okay understood you getting like fuck you with the fuck okay understood but when a guy smiles at you and I'll bitches you or whatever is it worth you have to go down the you have to go down the road to the end of it. Okay, is it worth being in jail or hurting somebody

whether they're a dick or not, putting them in the hospital? And that guy's girlfriend, now she's, the person she loves is physically hurt. And now the person, I'm gonna grab her by the way, it's gonna climb up being part of a stable. The person you love, hahaha.

So, I'm gonna weigh your points. The person you loves has to go down and bail you out of jail with money that could have been used for something better like you saw. You would bail me out of jail, Bob? Not me, but you gotta say on that, the four this guy, if you gotta save that rage for the apocalypse man.

Yeah, you gotta save it for when the zombies come. We're gonna need you when the fucking zombies come. You're a leader. We don't need you to fight Dreadlock White Guy at LOL because he smiled at you. He wasn't going to fight me, though. Yeah, but here's a deal. If he had said, if he had, if he, look,

you never know without call. Alcohol gives the fucking shittiest people the biggest balls in the world. It also slows your reflexes I don't care about what you learn on Discovery Channel, okay? I'm saying you're about you going to jail. It's about here's the thing you hit in this guy Yeah, so you beat him you bitch him out But he says one wrong thing to you and you fucking crack him you break his jaw worst and that he goes downstairs

Hits his head and dies. You're done. You're gone. You're talking crack him, you break his jaw, worst than that, he goes downstairs, hits his head and dies. You're done, you're gone, you're goodbye. And your son has to deal with what you had to deal with. I think they turned me into a Robocop if I did that, kidding me? Real nice, Lewis. Fucking jerk. These are one of those times where you have to listen to Bobby.

I'm serious man, I'm you, I have the same temper. Look at, I'm driving down yesterday, in my car that I rented for a month, because you, I have the same temper. Look it, I'm driving down yesterday in my car that I rented for a month, cause we're going to the suburbs, and I'm flipping out. And I'm, yeah, I'm literally, I pulled up next to a guy, and I'm looking at him, I want him to look at me. And then I realized, what the fuck does this man,

what am I gonna change him? Is because I scare him with a look, or even I get out of the car, and tap on his window and scream at him. He'll think twice, this guy will think twice and I'm throwing a can at another door. You know what he's gonna think twice of? He might get out and then I gotta fight him, I heard him.

Or he might hurt me. Either fucking way, I lose. I lose every way. The only time I don't lose in physical violence is when I have to defend somebody's fucking life or rights. That's the only time. I'm gonna have to protect my, my baby or my wife or my friend or my family. That's the only time I don't lose. But if it's over a car or over some stew, the guy said sorry, who cares if he's a fucking dick personally? That's not your job to make people better people. You're not your job to make people better people.

You're not a superhero. You're Louis J. Gomez, who has a fucking kid that is gonna need the fuck outta you. Need the fuck outta you. He's gonna need everything. He's gonna need everything. You're gonna walk on my back. He's gonna need, make you, make you little jokes

cause you're uncomfortable. He's gonna need everything you got. Every fucking thing that you learn that is good He's gonna need to make it through life because he needs to be better than you He needs to have a better life than you that's your job Give him a shot and you're not giving him a fucking shot Because all you're doing is giving him what you got that's's not your job. Your job is to make him better. Smile, love, care, smart.

That's your job. My job is to fucking give my kid a shot. That's your job. And you're doing it on so many levels. But this fucking bullshit, I don't want to read about you, dude. I want you to make it. I want you to have a show. I want you to make it. I want you to have a show I want you to have money. I want you to have success

I want you all of us to be friends and have fucking picnics and barbecues and laugh Not Joe's picnics, those suck Fucking dumb Foot balloon party. Joe, I had a good time. You'll pay me. You gonna stand me? You gonna stand me? You got a lot of great shit in your life I would have lied about that story. I would have made it a lot less harsh. How did I know I was gonna get this? I'm sorry. Why may be the real last dude right now? I don't call me in

Don't be because you're uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable that I tell you Patrice. She's I used to love it one Patrice I don't even use it like that. I know it was good That cuz I got to step in and be like like in between and be like I thought I was real seagull what? I started doing her American voice I was like yeah, I'm like Lewis getting side in those two. I was like walk away right now get away get away And Lewis was like right in their face. I was like their face. I was in his face. That's true I understand what you're coming from I literally I'm talking to you like this because I know you I understand what you're doing

I had go through it every day I have to check myself all the time because it's not my responsibility to make people better people with violence Anger was Martin Luther King who said better people with violence. I'm angry. I really was Martin with a king who said, chickety check yourself before you wreck your stuff. I don't think that was him. Shotgun bullets are bad for your health.

No, that's not him. That was somebody else. It was somebody black. All right, nice. All right, we're going to go to break real quick. One more time. Phone time is... Now. Okay, let's do this real quick.

Did you got my spine still Bob? Kelly, talk to me Mike. Hello, hello, hello. Hello. Alright, so check it out guys. Thank you so much for listening to the YKWD podcast. You guys are amazing. You know we have the Amazon link on the way.

I'm not gonna, I'm gonna go through this real quick because I'm sick of fucking I'm you know go to the Amazon link on the website. You know about it. You're gonna buy something buy something through that link It helps us out gamefly.com slash ykwd 15 day to disc offer from us if you if you like video games go there and sign up If you like video games, go there and sign up. Also, tweedaudio.com right now, 33% off, free shipping and lifetime limited warranty on any and all headphones. 33% off already discounted headphones.

All different colors and sizes, Mike and non-Mike, go to tweedaudio.com and use the code word Kelly. Co-wait is dude. Dude, D-U-D. And you get, you get an expensive, an expensive 30's, you're a percent off, all the YKWD fans, dude fans get that.

And you guys want to donate, $5, $10, $3,000, whatever you want. Go to ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly. Hit the donate button. Use your PayPal credit card. Whatever. All the money goes into the studio. You guys, you guys helped us get everything.

You made the studio fantastic. We have video now that we're working the bugs out of. The studio is great because you guys, and it goes back into everything we do here. So thank you, you guys, who do donate. You're really unbelievable for doing that. Make sure you go to robbercallylive.com, check out all my dates. I do these shows for you guys, but I really would love it if you come out and check out my comedy, because that's what I do for a living.

Robbercallylive.com has my Facebook page, has my Twitter, and has all my dates, has my acting reel. You can check out my acting. Oh, I love your acting reel. Do you really? Yeah, it's great. Oh, thanks, buddy. And, you know, everything you need, Robert Kelly, is up there at Robert Kelly live.com.

And I'm going to be at, I think at Lanta this week, right? Lanta. Mugubis? improv. Mugubis? No,... Magubis? improv. No, Magubis is this last week out. So yeah, I learned to improv. Why, what are you, what are you making a face for?

I got bummed out. I'm in Atlanta this week that we are currently recording. Right. Tomorrow. I thought we were gonna be in Atlanta this same time. No, then I'm gonna be at the, I'm gonna I'm gonna land to, I'm gonna land to improv the improv, then a Rebel casino and Atlantic City on the 24th of October, and the 25th, 26th, I will be at the

comedy works in Albany, and then the 30th, I go to St. John's for a bunch of, a bunch of dates up there, which I'm very excited about. And I'm going to be in Toronto for three days in November, correct? Scroll down. Yeah, three days in November. November. Fucking Lewis. You really are just a fucking gorilla. Fix it. Don't just walk by it. Don't just bump into and leave it. Turn it. Turn it the way it was. Not that way. Right there. I mean that's just you being particular. Hi guys. You guys make sure you follow everybody that comes on this show. Everybody's for Scobo.

You're not going to know how to follow him because Kelly needs to come out of the trees. So if you see Scobo in one of the twigs, please follow him. But follow us and retweet like, do all the shit you're supposed to do. And go see us live and support our shows And let us know that you you came down and you heard it from the YKWD podcast and you just keep spreading the word You guys are great. We'll be back in just a few minutes Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, give Bobby. Happy birthday to you. You are listening to Robert Kelly's. You know what dude? Podcast on breakast.com. Yeah, yeah. All right, we're back. Thank you very much guys. Thank you. That was Colin Quinn the great Colin Quinn left me a happy birthday message the one and only message I got today From friends I'm gonna you it text. Oh, we're here right now. We here. We be by said friends. Yeah, you're gonna have fun whatever Awesome, I do get city yourself my friend Working to be your friend. I Was your birthday

Did you really yeah I just really took out all the fucking loveliness of that fucking message. Wow, so thanks Joe selfish cocksucker What a great thing selfish. It was selfless I fucking let you you couldn't let me have it. It was your birth. Let me have it You would have had nothing if I didn't I would have had something more now. I know it was nothing Should have told us behind his back. Yeah, just told you you Dropping well you ruined it. You should have just let me have that. I was very happy that he left me that message. I told him and he said I already called him. Close that door. It's very creepy. I feel like a ghost is going to. Yeah, please close that door. You know, um, all right, man. Another very, I want to thank Troy Cwon from ONA for all the new production pieces he's given us for the show.

Which I really love. I'm going to be putting up a, if you guys do podcasts, if you do your own show, and you want production pieces, he does them and he does them on the cheap. So please just get in touch with him. He's on my Twitter. We'll make sure we tweet him out today. If anybody, make sure, if anybody needs a production piece or any podcast or whatever Get in touch with Troy. If there's room for them on the Twitter. What's if there's room for them on the Twitter and what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm My five-ingman You know what I feel mom there's what I feel like I feel like a fucking second grade teacher and I got a I need a draw

I need a draw. I got a second-grade education great teacher and I got a I need a draw I need a draw I got a second-grade education that's pretty good man I need a draw for all your dicks that you have a you a little toy dicks that you fucking have not toys yeah that's question figures all right so here's it Kelly gotta take it put it in your mouth yes oh Kelly last night was trying to fuck Bailey J. We're scoping. Am I out of my mind? Oh, yeah.

They're going to fuck one day. They feel the weird. The Kelly sucks it. I'll suck on it's balls. A view of a second. No one wants to see that. I will donate $5 to you. You know what, dude?

Right now. 10 dollars. 10 dollars. $10. Well, how long is she sucking it for? 10 seconds. No. 10 seconds. No. $10 a second. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Who it is? Yeah, I can't say all the names that I 100% without a doubt no question that's no for a fact That you're not a lot the first show you're acting like it's more than three I know and you act like I've never had a one night

Stay and you're acting like I've never like it wasn't you know look at Lewis if you're a girl You would have sucked my dick Monroe's day every dick in this room would have been in your mouth That's what I'm gonna go move if it was last week. If I was a girl, I knew I'd a boy. What's up with this fucking hat? Let him tell you, man. He's hating. He's hating. I want a genuine opinion from Robert Kelly,

who's a comic that we both respect. He's been in comedy for like 45, 50 years. You respect. It's a fucking. I'm just here. He's a pioneer for this sport, okay? So I'm not like I'm fucking, I'm not... Bobby Kelly got arrested in 1962 for a dick joke.

I'm unbelievable. Did you really? You know what, when you try to get smart is when you fail. Stop trying to be fucking Lenny Bruce. Be Lewis J. Dumbo. Ha ha, nailed you. Oh! Lenny Bruce be Lewis J. Dumbo All right, what's up with this hat Listen black guy, you know, it's laying and I need you to slow your roll I want to scare everybody, you know my father. He loved Jersey boys. He loved the show

It's a great show so listen make sure you check it out Does anybody have a you who or ring being I'm kind of hungry? All right, how do you like here? I'll see you guys Oh, my god, I'm just gonna name a fact Monroe wears a hat game effect name effect. Yeah, listen. I don't think it's a fact. It don't speak already lying here I hate fucking Puerto Ricans go ahead as already like Monroe wears a hat. Yeah, he does

Most black guys do wear hats. That's how they you know they get nappy heads they didn't sleep with a bandana around their fucking heads at night it's so they have to wear a hat of a team they don't even like I saw a black guy walking on the street with a expose hat on tell me about that it's a fucking Canadian team they stink the farm team for the Yankees are you then welcome back to the Arti Lancio with our nicta follow Bobby's to get away to bomb without it being his fault Oh Jesus Christ I got a I got a little thin the thin mint mouth fuck away now Which my mouth was that thin I'd be the haha I wouldn't need to be this fat

Do we mail him the band-ass Do we mail him the band dance? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why do you it's weird? Why do you wear a hat at with your Twitter on your hat because I can no fuck you That's because I can and you're fucking whatever Montel Williams no fence confidence that you have This is bullshit Because I can whatever a fucking you wish whatever dad you had told you It's not you shouldn't. I why should I'll tell you why. First of all, I want to know why because I can as a bull shit thing. No, it's why I want to know.

Because I want to know. We all can. All right, I can walk down the street with that fucking dough though stuck to my forehead, but I don't. I do. I know. I don't because I'm not a fucking idiot. Why?

I want to know. Yeah, you're an idiot. Why? Why do you do it? Why do you go the hat with your Twitter handle? All right. One. This is the only hat I have with a team on it.

I don't watch basketball. Don't support the team. Don't have a team that I like. If I do decide to endorse a brand, it might as well be my own brand. I've only got this bull's hat because of the color. But can I say this? Where's your Twitter handle? No, it's on the other hat.

It's on the other hat. You have a hat, you have custom hats. I have a custom hat. Just one. You have a custom hat. You went to the mall and got one. And it says what? Says at Monroe Martin the third.

The third. Which way? It's weird because he doesn't know the third. The third. Yes. Which way? It's weird, because he doesn't know the second. I do. I go on, if I have it in the second head, don't get the second. I'm being usually guessing.

He's usually guessing this is a second. All right, so you wear a Yankees hat because you like the Yankees. No, I actually don't like the Yankees. So why are you wearing that? Because I wear a black, I get a black fitted for every city that I visit with their team on it. OK. Yeah.

And I like a black and black fitted. OK. I don their team on it. Okay. Yeah, and I like a black I don't look good. I don't support a team. I don't support a team. People see the only reason I I lose. I'm a row, but if I decide to force anything on my body and see the blank something I like or something So, so your you want to promote your Twitter? Yeah, So you want random people walking around? I only wear that so. All right, so you do it so here's the show. You go up with the hat on. And then after you make sure you put it back on

when you say good night, because you want people to read your Twitter handle, right? Yeah. You're a fucking, you're just disgusting to me. Okay. That is just disgusting to me. Okay. That is just disgusting. You'll never be friends. No, you got that new question, be my friend.

Look at, I'm friends with all these fucking assholes. What? Not you, Joe. Do I not wear it or do you know what, dude? Sure, we're a performance. Yeah, but that's different, dude. I don't, but man, where did you get it? You know what, dude, you're a game into me.

I thought you stole it. I thought you stole it. I thought you stole it. I thought you stole it. So, with me wearing your shirt, you know it to me. I thought you stole it. I thought you stole it. I thought you fucking checked him. I thought you stole it. All right. So with me wearing your shirt, you know what, dude? That has the same effect.

You know what I mean? That's like me wearing a Robert Kelly shirt. Exactly. I don't do it. If you were a Robert Kelly t-shirt, everyone would be like, what did come on? First of all, the three of us. I yield Robert Kelly t-shirt. I don't't think they coming through reactor they come and blank this out

I can't wait for and it just comes in a little bit. Kelly let him finish that I mean finish the That was funny No, I mean go ahead. It was it's stupid Kelly what are you gonna say something Chris? Oh, you're gonna fix your hair I don't like I don't like your Ellen bangs. Stop dancing. You.

Wow. That's Kelly's shirt. Kelly's shirt is a levy. He, you, and then tell me for stookin.com. It's her levy. I just don't understand why you would have your, why can't you say it at the end of the show? I don't have time to say it. You know when I kill I go out there people like I'm funny. Yeah all the time most of the time is that true guys? I mean it kills people

Is it money is it true? Do you see kill all the time does very very I'm a rose very funny a shit dude However, I'm not bossin let me say I'm I'm I'm saying you're funny motherfucker. You're the you're looking out of the guy the kids in here You're the top of the class Joe I agree I don't watch everyone sets he does well. He's a working comic I don't know he does very well. I mean I don't watch everyone sets. He does well. He's a working comic And remember I was going more. I was very funny, but here's the thing I think it's a detriment when people see that more people go That's fucking cheesy thing go I want to follow that guy and that's a detriment nobody is going

Oh, he doesn't have a Twitter or that's like a guy walking a sock. That's a guy I look I know you have to do it. I get look I get that you have to promote hang on one second good No No, it's ahead and choose me. No. Please. No. No, it's a really good point. No. I want to say what Kelly thinks is a good point. It's a really good point.

Wait, wait, wait. We say it's cheesy. Do you think for a comic, yeah, that's fucking cheesy, but like regular people, do you think that's the only thing in from the colleague on the head? That's not a thing. That's not going to say that. It's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit,

it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, it's a bit, I think it, to me, it's kind of like, put your hand down, you wouldn't, you wouldn't flab an ass, She's really loud. You wouldn't have to do it if you didn't need to But I think that you'll get to a point where your comedy where people will Find you on Twitter I'm not saying that you're advertising it means that you know what you're saying? Say to people please please follow me on Twitter. I really need it.

No, what you're doing with your 3000 followers to see you at the creek. I'm not wearing a tanshirt about the fuck out. You know the main? At 4. Hey, here's the thing. I don't like the fact that I agree with Kelly, but I do. You, look at you. You don't need that, buddy. I did what you're doing. We all promote ourselves. Bobby, at the end of every show, and it's amazing when I watch. He shakes hands with every person that leaves.

Every person. Every person. Let me finish. I mean, and he hands out stickers for his podcast, and he tells people, hey, go check out my content. Here's this free thing that I'm giving to you. There's a way to do it. All right.

Putting your name on your own hat, it's fucking cheese dick. I know. Now let me have a comment. Listen, listen, we're going by, now we're going by opinion, because what you do, I have your own opinion. Just grow up in Philly. No, it's not. Grow up in Philly, what you do, people used to do that.

And the club owner's like, don't ever fucking do it. It looks like good. What club owner? The helium fucking, I started it, I guess that is. I started in Philly. So wait a second, wait a second. I know the owner of Philly. Not on it, but you know a second. Wait a second. I know the owner Disposure who's that Jeff with the manager is he still there? No exactly you

I'm just starting to talk and I'll be with you. I'm gonna say, I'm not starting to talk and I'll be with you. Yeah! There you go. Now you'll fucking listen. You want to fucking do black rooms? We'll do white rooms. The guy who owns the fucking monitors and microphones will fucking shut you up.

Here's the deal. The fucking guy. The guy who gave you that advice, Monroe. The guy who gave you that advice is a fucking moron. And I'll tell you why. Okay. First of all, you don't, I'm talking about people who went out, heard I was in town and bought tickets to see me. They're fans of mine. You understand that? So I'm sitting there after the show, thanking people who, who literally spent their hard-earned money Drove their gas to see me those are my fans No, they're gas they're very fat. I have every I have every responsibility to them to meet them to say hi

You know else does this? Dan Cook I just did the show with them after every fucking show will shake their fucking hands just did the show of them after every fucking show will shake their fucking hands. Yeah. We'll go out and meet whoever the fuck is there. Take a photo with. Bird does it. Okay. I'm not saying.

Listen, hang on a second. Listen, listen, listen. Hang on, no, no, no, hang on my face. Let me just finish. Let me just finish. Here's the deal. What I'm saying is it's a big difference when you got people who are coming up fans to come out to see you.

Now if I'm going to replace that these people don't know me and I just did a set, I will hang out in the area. I will say hi to whoever wants to say hi. But I'm not gonna sit there. If you don't know me, I'm not gonna make you like me. And that guy who give you advice is a fucking dildo. I'll say it to his face. That's a dildo fucking, that is those.

Listen, someone who says you're begging You're not begging you are appreciating these fucking the you know fucking makes you in comedy you people who know the people Come and see you the people listen to the show other ones Mark Marin wouldn't be fucking Mark Marin If people didn't listen to his podcast if they didn't go go download it, listen, leave a review, and every week fucking do the same thing. Billy Burr the same thing. Anybody could be a Jew. Okay, if they don't watch Louis show, then we don't got him. It's over. You the show is done. Nobody wants it. You understand? So the people that come and see you, you should appreciate and take a photo and and something. And shake his hand.

But with this, a big deal. I do after the show. I stand out here. So don't yell, but people, listen, listen, I'll let you talk. When people come out after the show. Listen, you don't talk to me like that. You get it? Do you get it?

Are we on the same fucking page? Don't fucking say you let me talk. Actually, I let you up here and let you talk. Right. Go. All right. Right. That's telling you to go. Don't tell me to fucking go. Do it. I'm gonna. So it's way easier because after I do my spots, after I do my spots, I stand outside the door the door. Yeah people go. Oh you were so funny. I shake their hands Right, you know that listen they go cannot no, I'm talking to him listen. They'll go. Oh man. Where can I see you more at?

What are you a fucking magician? I Don't do that. I don't do it any it. I'll go. Oh, you bend over You can follow me a mum roll Martin. I said you can follow me a mum Martin is third And then you'll what the fuck did you just say you mumbling asshole and then you pointed your hat Stop stepping on funny fuck face. It wasn't fun. Everybody's laughing Nobody's scared of you I hate when you fucking assholes, you fucking just talk over fucking cock suckers.

You just said you was just talking over me, right wrong. Monroe, when you get mad, you lose. Yeah, I'm not angry. You're mad. I'm not. Why are you mad? Listen, listen, you're more bad at me, but you're talking over you.

No, I'm not mad at you. No, because you're stepping on funny. Don't step on funny. I'm not more back on it. Anybody was talking over you. No, I'm not mad at you. No, because you're stepping on funny. Don't step on funny. I'm not going to step on funny. So instead of repeating myself, instead of that hat, you're not. Instead of repeating myself, like four times, going mud, mud, mud, mud, and mud, and mud,

and then they go, how do you spell it? I don't think it's just right here. And have gotten completely, I had it made at a kiosk right here. Is it, hey, is it, isn't that weird? You know fast and know to dope hat. They'll go, oh, that's a nice hat. I wish, listen, can I just say something?

That you found your boss. We got it. You made your point. You made your point. I wish, I wish. I so wish. What's up? I am so sad that Patrice has gone for two reasons,

because he's my best friend and he would fucking literally not allow this to happen Literally because he's gone and he's not around to go fucking EEEH when you walk up a yadum hat and point at it and just not even say it where I just point at it and go boo And then you would never wear it again No, you wouldn't no you wouldn't you wouldn't I'm saying I will wear it's my suck the table is over This is why the table is over because we should have beat you out of your fucking stupid Confidence if he's allowed the Treats let's have a sounds right now. Everybody hold hands.

Everybody hold hands. Please. Patrice, if you're up there, please, Patrice. Everybody repeat after me. Patrice. Patrice. Please, Patrice. Please, Patrice.

Please, if you're up there and can hear us, please make Monroe get into a car accident where his hat gets cut off because of his head. Just his head swaps off, please. Lewis and Trance feel like at the inside of a pussy. Try fucking Monroe's fucking Ashy Knuckles. That's it, look at that. Oh, there she is.

Monroe, at the point I'm making it. Let me say, the sentiment is there. You should be promoting yourself. You're just promoting yourself the wrong way. It's just the wrong way. As a funny comedian. But this is what I'm saying. This is all I'm saying. Allow me to make my mistakes. You don't. My mistake. I don't shit on you for making your mistakes. What mistake? You dress like a boy guy. No, I don't. Yeah, you do. You shirtless. He doesn't

have a choice. You fucking mean as long as it's you. You live in Harlem. You don't. I live in Brooklyn. What's the point of it. Oh, it isn't this clock suckers I get it's his fucking clothes from me and other people he lives on 23rd. He's wearing a USA shirt He's the furthest from that. What do you mean? We don't shit on for mistakes. That's what this show is Yeah, just shitting on that show is shitting on mistakes Here's the thing I you know what I like you cross you've turned the corner because you admit that that's a fucking Where the heck is that like the hat? It's a nice.. No, because now you're being spiked. The hat all you can say here's what you do ready Here's the way around that you go go to them with your website

My website is this one remark comedy go to my website mimo comedy calm having a flyer or a card here just my website take that hang on one second Here's the thing here you go shake a hand, thank you so much for coming out. That really means a lot to me, that you just said I'm fucking really funny. Go to my website, mrode.com and e-mail you. And here's how you know that they're really fans, because if they remember that and go there and email you,

I got emails from, I can't tell you, I wanna read some of the emails that remind me before we go. The emails that a fans are sending to ykwd at ryecast.com, they're just these amazing emails about how funny everybody is and how much the show means to them. That's a fan. I didn't have to fucking, I'll read a couple. I didn't have to fucking wear a hat after a show

and bend over for short people to see. I'm not doing all that. You make it see you. You point to it. You'm not doing all that you make it you point to it You point to it you show me you point to it. Do you win like this? Look up here kids? Just we're sitting down. I'm not doing it how it really happens is way more organic But don't you wait more please please everybody hold hands again Patrice Patrice If you're up there if you're up there repeatrice. Patrice. Oh my god, if you're up there, if you're up there, repeat after me, Patrice.

Oh god, I hate this. Please, Patrice. Come on. Please, God, please just, please let an airplane fucking crash and just take that propeller just to nick the top of Monroe's head. Let's grab tips next time. I'd say we hold tips. We agree, that's what you should make me nervous.

I really listen, man. In reality, I could give a fuck, I think you're an idiot for doing that, because you don't need to. Here's what gets people to follow you funny. That's it. And the people who are gonna be your fans are gonna be your fans. Dains, fans aren't my fans. All of Norton's fans aren't my fans. If that was the case

I should have a million people following me on Twitter. I don't. I don't. I don't. I did a... I did every show with him on that tour, tourgasm. I did the big tour over a million people. Yeah. Okay. I just did shows with them last week You know me and Billy and we all did shows for oh and a My fans of my fans. That's it. There's people that don't like me There's people that could give a fuck about me and then there's my fans no matter what I do how much I fucking from that's it You would have a lesson. I can wear a hat. I could have a fucking balloon that I fly in on that says at Robert Kelly buzzing.

There's gonna be a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. That's a lot of helium in it. What's planted deep into the soil?

The gondola. The what? Gondola. What's the gondola? Gondola. Lose the same gondola. Why are you sexy right now? The basket?

Yes, the gondola. Gondola. Gondola. Gondola. Anyway, do you understand that thing right here? So you... So that thing that you went, you went down to the the mall can I have my Twitter on my hat? I'm looking at the mall. It was very convenient. That's when I want to go purchase a hat.

I was like I don't like any of these hats. I want, I don't like one of those hats. I'll just do my own thing. So you said put my Twitter handle on this. Yes. And it's very cool because it got little you know the at symbol that yeah, it's a stylish hat Yeah, all right, it is all right say that well if you're listening to the show I by begging plead you if you see him with this hat please run as fast as you can and smack it off His fucking head and then run as fast as you can again, yeah, there's my relic a big motherfucker And he really I've never seen you more passionate about let me just take a stance About the things that I do cuz I'm a this is what I say. I say and people are entitled to do What they feel yeah, whatever they want and that's it you can't believe that I

Listen to my believe you should absolutely I can tell you I can do that I can do that you and you cannot listen to me Yeah, and you can be an idiot and walk down the street with a Twitter is not even cool It's not a cool name. It's my name is very cool. What is it? It's a Monroe Martin the third. That's a cool name. It's the worst name ever It's way better than Robert Kelly. That's a narrow name. I think it is. You're right.

You're right. My mother told me she was going to name me. Nicholas Anthony, but she didn't. And that hurts when you say that. I'm sorry. Robert Patrick. Robert Patrick. Robert Patrick.

But here's the one. One mind is a very funny name. Monroe, you should have put M.M. The Third would have been great. M.M. At M.M. The Third. Yeah.

M.M. The Three. Something a gang. That would have been awesome. That would have been awesome. That would have been awesome. M.M.3 M.M.3 M.M.3 M.M.3 That's a good gang That would have been awesome M.M.M. M.M. No, not the game M.M.3 M.M.

M.M. The third No, it's not It's perfect People remember that On Twitter It's too short No, it's not

I mean I've tried it Put the third That's No I'm wondering what The third I think I think it was Malcolm X who said Different strokes for different. No, that was not that was not Malcolm X. That was actually a show. I was just

Listen Lewis. Yep. What the fuck are you coy for right now? No, I'm sitting here. Yeah, I know I don't yet be your core you're being cute Holding an apple and being painted I don't know you're gonna brought the hat up First of all when he brought it out people on my side nobody was on your side. Everybody in that room. Nobody was on your side Dude when we were in the L.O.L Did they be calling me and word every time you turned around? No, they didn't who was that it was his only my friend There are games. There's almost I am I'm friends that nobody's ever heard of but look You got you got a free. All right. What's your the hair is the thing? What's your Twitter handle?

Monroe Martin III if everybody listening to this if you think that it's cool to have a hat with your Twitter handle on, stand out outside of the club, get accolades, and then when people ask you, hey, hey, and you say, Rod here, and you point to the hat. If you think that's fucking cool, you should get a pinwheel.

And then, I think I got a spinner. I got a spinner. I got a deep, I got a deep, I got a spinner hat. If you think that's cool, please follow Monroe. Do you have a hat? You can You can

Buy this hat. It's just as one. Yeah, I don't so much. I don't think that's Smarter or so much you had fucking if you had other people wearing your hat that makes sense Okay, so if you think it's cool go to Monroe. What is it? This is at Monroe, Martin, the third. The third like tea. No, I, I, I Roman new more than third. Alright, so stupid. So go shorter. No, I called him stupid. Go there and and and follow him and tell him how much you love the idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Alright, let's take a vote. Who thinks it's a good idea who thinks it's cool Who thinks it's stupid and Monroe is a fucking?

I don't participate in other people's things anymore. I'm involved in a certain program that doesn't really From out part taking in such things all I could say is that I would not do that myself I don't judge anyone who does do it. It's poor marketing. It's just bad marketing. You're not judging, isn't it? You're sending the message that you suck. You're a funny marketing. How do you market? I have three podcasts. I go on other podcasts that are very popular and I try to be funny. Two days with stories.

I use social media in a funny way. I'm just funny on it. I fucking, you know, I get out there And a performer as much as possible. I do whatever I can do. I use every element. I'm not doing the same thing. No, he said you do everything you do There's a right way in a wrong way and I don't think so. You can only find out the wrong way if it fails That's the only way one comment. I'm gonna run out. Time out. I don't have to One comment Cool aid cool aid. Where's a fucking they're all shitty. I don't know any of those are Hey, what's a can you make that real rope? I do not think Monroe stink I've never seen them before they're only gonna think I think I stay Can I might ask Bobby some serious if you now you know

Yeah, see you did no more at all would you make an assumption as a comic if I was if I was alright Let me do the scenario. I come in. I'm headlining a room. I don't know your room You I walk in and you have your hat one. I never do that when I'm open enough for a number of common. I never promote myself. Showcase club. It doesn't matter. Showcase club. You walk in the center of New York. Yeah. If I walk in the center of New York. And you come out and you have your hat on. I would. It's a cheesy way. I'm a hat on in a cool black guy. And somebody and somebody and somebody goes and somebody goes

I guess hey, you're really funny. Where can I get and you point and you point to T. A hat? I know I go Oh, if you're really funny blah blah blah. Oh, thank you, and then I only do the hat thing if they go Oh, how do you spell Monroe if they do that they were like so I'm holding it. That's all I'm holding. It's how many people following you holding it. How do you spell M? How many people spelled my name with a U? M-U-N.

What? M-O-N. M-O-N. Monroe. It's easy. People do that in front of my face. You want them as fans because they're idiots. Monroe, I kind of have, Bobby, finished that sentence.

So if you walked in, you didn't know him. I'm trying to finish, but you keep talking over him. Bobby, forget it, forget it, forget it. I don't know why you do that. What is this is this new you so comfortable on the show that you can just yap Uncommon will fucking stop Monroe it's getting annoying put you stop holding dicks to everything I look over it It looks like you you dick is really out. It's funny that it's different dicks. Yeah It's funny that it's different dicks. Yeah. And he strokes it.

He strokes it all of the sudden. He's full of cock. You read the suck in the microphone and a jerk in one of these dicks off, stop it. Just go fuck somebody. Go fuck a guy. Monroe, yeah. Anyways, Monroe.

Look, if I walked in and I saw you doing that, I'd be like, what are you a fucking asshole? I mean, you're a friend of mine. I'd be like, you're an idiot. But I could really give a fuck. Honestly, God, if you had a fucking asshole. I mean, you're a friend of mine. I'd be like, you're an idiot. But I could really give a fuck. Honestly, God, if you had a dumb hat with, I don't care if it lit up at Monroe III. If you had a shirt or a shot of fireworks,

or you fucking had those little poppers and it shut out your fucking stupid screen name, I don't care. If that's what you wanna do, go ahead and do the fuck what you wanna do. I'm just saying, as comics, you should take a smashing for that. As a comic, do the fuck what you want to do. I'm just saying, as comics, you should take a smashing for that. As a comic, you can do what you want in reality,

who gives a fuck dude, we're all trying to make it. We're all trying, it's the hardest thing in the world. Who knows what the fuck is gonna make you have fans? I don't fucking know your path. I'm thinking the jokes would just take care of it, funny jokes, but not the fastest horse doesn't win the race. We know that so I don't fucking know But you should take a smashing for something as stupid as that. I don't do you should that's like fucking me walking in I would smash somebody for doing the same exact thing. Yeah, I have so I mean so don't fucking sit there and defend it

You know you fucking dumb But I am allowed to defend it because if I was smashing somebody I would want them to defend it I would want them to stand up for you No, you can know you can actually go yeah, I know it's fucking stupid, but it's what I do so fuck you On a lot of time let me say I said that whenever you brought it up. I was like whatever I was like I do it Bob on a logical level dude. This is a fucking please don't ever use the word logical You weren't a scene where there's a lot of comics you put on shows there's headliners who are going out there And they're performing all over the country you want your peers and the people that are above you to say hey

That guy's fucking I want to work with that guy that comes off as cheesy do they not do that? I want to work with that guy that comes off as cheesy do they not do that? I mean your fun. I was gonna do it. I was gonna book you I was gonna take you with me until I found about this hat thing I'll get your own hat Monroe insolent. All right when when Could you get with a large Capital art a capital K. Yeah, but in spite of that if you get me a hat. I forget But I'm telling you you don't think that there's somebody that looks at that and goes, I want fuck them. I want fuck them. You know what?

Listen, nobody really gives. Yeah, nobody really gives. Nobody really gives. Nobody really gives a fuck about that. If Monroe's an at, listen. If Monroe's an asshole, if Monroe's an funny, you'd be like, this guy's a piece of shit, Annie's of Ego Maniac. All right, but we know he's not an Ego Maniac.

We think that, you know, Monroe, you're a good kid. I've never seen you stand up to me on sort of you have I? I don't know. No, try to get you to see it. I haven't seen it, but I'm sure you're funny because I have you. You're funny on this show. Do you fucking stool? No, I fucked a stool for 10 years. What am I? I had to get beaten out of it over at the Boston, but I got fucking the stool So yeah, you I mean I don't really give a fuck but you know you're gonna get up

You should get a pounding for wearing your own little fucking Twitter hat like Justin somebody Bieber Bieber was right there. I'm so tired. I can't think of it. It wasn't just a beaver It was actually Ashton Kusher. I was trying to come up with. But I'm saying, fuck it, do it. But you're an idiot for doing it. Yeah. And if you know why, you know why?

I'd rather have you wear a fucking satin jacket than a hat. It's just a hat. I'm a piece. Does he have a satin jacket? He needs to do it. Comedy Express. What? You didn't know that? No, what is it? Comedy Express. What is that? Comedy Express was a group. It was him Ralph Harris. Oh my god.

Um, it's like SWV. And I think Vermont Harris's brother. Was it the Express to unfunnyville? Wanda Sites. It's the Express to fucking woodbridge. one of the sites it's the express to fucking woodbridge and all the birds and Tony Woods we're all bored only one of us is gonna make it wow oh my god do I hate you understand how much I ate him now god damn I'm furious No man I had a satin jacket with a with a C on it with a chuchu train

Yeah, dude fuck him fuck him. I hope he they got hit by a train You understand how stupid that is do you I mean do you don't think that there's I understand it though I get it I get what to say and lose but you keep asking me when I care about what other people think You should you should you should care what your friends think you you should know look I understand I understand you point listen man. Okay, look it fuck you my friends have come down on me about shit But that's how you learn my friends have shit on me for dressing nice damn will we shit on each other We did that's what we do, but I'm being honest about that. Yeah, wait me shit on each other like realsies No, we should each other like you can be dressed in a nice suit My look is nigga going to court whenever trying to get your kids back.

We'll shit on you. Yeah, just because you're dressed nice. I love the game side to the black comedy scene that we're getting right now. Yeah, I love that that's your, it's y'all you guys. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the comment is something about the black. Colin couldn't have a show on fucking comedy schedule. Just the same exact thing.

Go ahead. No, that was it. This is it. So we shit on each other. When we do something right, we shit on each other. We do something wrong.. So it's like yeah, I'm gonna get ridiculed no matter what I'm on as well attempt Am I not allowed to make an attempt? Yeah, I'm shitty I'm your friends. What is it?

He's think they're all stretched out. Yeah, but that's not the same thing We're gonna be making fun of Lewis's t-shirts. Why not just go with the current one. He's wearing yeah Yeah, but that's not the same thing. We're gonna be making fun of Lewis's t-shirts. Why not just go with the current one he's wearing? Yeah, you. Yeah, you. You've like a fifth grader in the first day of school. I like that one. Jesus Christ. I'm on a podcast and I'm going to L.O. on the York

Avenue. It doesn't matter what I look like. L.O.L. USA. It's all the same. I'm just, whatever. I don't even care. I'm just saying there are, and this is the point that I tried to make them, there are people

that will see that fans. Forget the year comedy peers, forget other friends. Fans that will see that go, oh, that's kind of cheesy. And I think that's a problem. It's a big, but you're saying that people who, let me, let me say this, there's more people that will do that than will see your hat and go on and go follow that guy on Twitter.

So I think that it's just a detriment. I think it's a bad thing for your career. And as your friend, I tell you that in hopes that you will go, I, you know what dude? I've gotten opinions of other comics that I know. And everyone agrees except for Derek fucking gains. Everyone agrees that it's fucking horrific. So you would cross.

I mean, I'm just, it's just a detriment for you. I'm telling you. You don't need it. You don't need it. You're funny. You're funny. You're funny. I'll wear it, dude. If you're it, dude. If you gave me your hat, I'll wear it because I'll support my friend. I'll wear a YK2B D shirt. I'll wear a fat Australian bitch shirt. Whatever you need me to wear, I will wear. Fab. So I'll make that shirt.

Fab. K-Vos, if you're out there, please make a fab shirt. Eric. He will. He will. He a fab shirt Eric Eric Eric will make something Please do not make a fab F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f- Boom, Bob at Kelly look what you did Why I Was my it was my I had something very highly important He's gonna give the hat to Lewis. What was it? It's the hat store was calling Bobby He's gonna fresh package of beanies That's way better. Yeah, gonna give these hat to Lewis? I'm gonna give my hat to Lewis. Now what? Where's gonna wear it? That's way better.

Yeah. Why don't you trade that? For some reason it's way better. I don't like the jankies. The fuck is it? You have AIDS. That's God. That's what someone said.

Let's just use that. It's just the future. It's the future. It's the future calling us. I don't have AIDS. Well, all right dude, look. Do whatever the fuck. This is what bugs me about you.

First of all, you fucking stupid confidence. I wear what I wear. I fucking like what I like. That bugs me because I know it's fake, because you're a comic. You don't have fucking self-esteem. You're fucked up like the rest of us. So this stance that you're taking,

like you were brought up right and you have fucking fuck you Okay, yo, you wear it. You feel fucked up when you wear it. You made a decision I'm gonna stick to my guns and I do what I do whatever you do is what you do It's not a you're gonna take some stand fuck you. It's a dumb idea. It's a dumb hat You're not a fucking 15 year old. You're not a little girl. You're not a fucking in a boy band. You're a grown man. You're a sick something.

All right, you're gonna have it. You're gonna get your fans no matter what. You're gonna get your fans no matter what. You don't have to wear a stupid hat and point to it after your shows. All right, but if you want to go ahead, okay? But don't expect us to sit here and not go it stinks It's a stinky poo poo idea, all right?

So if you want to give it to Lewis put it in his head and let him be the fucking card snap and fucking give away Poin oh fucking flyer a stupid ape that he is. Thank you, right? Then there you go all right. I'm just saying you're better than that. You're better than that So we I don't know I always thought of you as better than that now without your glasses You're just a black kid, but the confidence thing. I don't have I don't have any self-confident I don't have any like I know you know, I'm saying I'm confidence about the way I look I'm sick tall black guy people like me. It's a way I was brought up this the only thing I'm insecure about you can't make me insecure about what parents I bought the way I was brought up. Oh, you love your pants. No, I'm saying you love your pants. No, I don't

Oh, what are you saying? Oh, you're a piece. I am confident. I thought you said my parents. No, so that's why so the confidence I never hit my parents I'm heaven You can't make me feel bad about my parents My parents Listen to me I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I three three three three I thought you said Stop talking over everybody you're not gonna steam roll over the funny all right You say this is your stupid tactics on working on my show. I'm not doing anything. There you are.

You're just yapping over. Everybody's laughing at you. All right, whatever. When people laugh, when, when you make fun of Kelly, we all laugh. We don't just fucking let her yap over. You have fucking smashing. You're getting smashed right now and you're trying to, you're trying to avoid it. I'm not trying to avoid it

By just talking shut the fuck up and stop talking over people See how much you see mouth that was a good one. That was a good one. I let you say it All right now you just now you just repeating yourself like you guys do You sell it though. It's the the worst listen I'm honest to go this is not you this is not you this new tactic and one of my work I you're talking over me do you understand that? you understand what you're doing? I fucking hate it I hate it. I'm gonna shut the

thing. Honestly God God. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. All right, and let me fucking talk. No, because all you're doing is telling me. All right, I'm done. I'm done with you. I'm done with you. It mics up. Go ahead. You're in mics up. No, see, here's the way the conversation works. You're telling me what you think.

This is the way a conversation works. This is the way the conversation works. This is the way the conversation works. This is the way a conversation works. I talk, then you fucking talk. And then I talk. You let, but when I talk, everybody else starts talking. Yeah, because we're giving you a smack.

How that fair? Because we're giving you a smashing, just like we give it a say. Go ahead. You let me know when you're done. Go ahead. I'm not. You let me know when you're done.

You're assuming that you know who I am. You let me know when you're done. Go ahead. I'm not you let me know when you're done This is what you're doing. You're assuming that you know why I am you let me know when you're done Go ahead when we've never hung out. Yeah, let me know you're going. Oh, you're normally not like this You don't know how I normally am I don't you're right. Yeah, so this is you This is you know when you so you just talk okay, no, you let me know when you're done. I'll talk and you're done So so when you talk I listen I do I do but we don't talk it's no you know everybody You're getting a smash. Are you done? Can I talk? Are you done? Because I don't want you. I don't want you talking over me go go go go Do you think? Here's a deal okay, you're getting a smashing. Yes, and you can't take it. I can't show

You're gonna talk you're gonna say you're gonna talk are you gonna listen? You're just gonna talk. Okay. Okay. Here's a deal. You're getting a smash and you can't take it. I'm gonna finish or I'm not. How many times am I gonna finish? All right. So there you go. I'm gonna let me know when you're done. Take it. This this bullshit. This is the bullshit you do. No because I'm not I'm not finishing. I'm not finishing my point. I'm making a point and you won't let me finish it. It's a illogical and false. It doesn't matter. You're saying that I can't make a fucking point.

I can't make a fucking point. So that's what you're saying. I can't make a fucking point. You're not even letting me fucking make it. You're not even letting me say it it. You're not even late. So let me say it and then say what the fuck you're gonna say. You're gonna say the same thing. That's what you're gonna say.

When you're keep, I'm fucking trying to tell you, you're getting a smashing. You can't take it. And so you talk over everybody. And if anybody disses a grise, please let me know that I'm fucking wrong. And he gets a smashing.

He takes the fucking thing. That's smashing, he takes the fucking thing. That's God. He takes the fucking thing. He takes it. I take it. Everybody, she gets fucking out of anybody on the fucking show. We fucking laugh. And no, let him fucking do it shit.

I don't give a fuck, because this is him. So now I know who the fuck he is. Okay. I know who you are now. You made your fucking point. I understand who the fuck you are when you You you do that thing when someone smashing you you just talk and talk and talk and and nobody can fucking get into it Nobody can fucking give you a hard time because you get fucked up and you want to make a point

It's a dumb hat with joking with you and then you talk over people and you don't let them make their point. Alright, alright. Now come in. How many times have you been doing that? Well, you just did. That's what I've been fucking doing but this is the first time everybody was quiet. How many times I've been on the show and I've took a smash and I take a smash and but the thing that I'm arguing with I'm not arguing about the hat anymore. There's nothing to argue about. Just shut the fuck off. Let people say what they want to and we laugh. I'm not arguing about the fucking hat anymore. I'm saying this, you're fucking arguing about it.

Because you keep slapping your fucking hands. No, you keep telling me what type of person I am. And I'm like, you don't fucking. You told me, you said I don't know you. You're not it all saying you're this type of person, this type of person, and I'm going, and I let you finish, I'm going, but I'm not that type of person. said you were like what you assume was my self esteem

I don't have self esteem because I do have self esteem But it's only on I don't have self esteem on my upbringing you told me You said you're like you're a comic you don't have a self esteem because no This is I don't give a fuck about that. I don't care about that. I really don't give a fuck about the hat I don't care about the hat You see what you're doing right now. I just let you fucking talk and that's what you're doing This we hear all fucking Dave to you finish Tell us not so here's a deal. Here's a deal you we fuck to you about when you said my you were talking and everybody said

You said my appearance and we all we all thought a parent and we're all fucking listen Yeah, but we're all going on about it and everybody keeps Here we go. All right, you fucking The stupid thing smashed and crashed the brand new fucking computer Crash because it was over I don't know what the fuck happened it was over Murmur's head it was so upset about it I think it's the deal Monroe okay I have no problem getting heated on the show I really don't and I don't not like you I like you I like you a lot but it I it's a tactic and I know it.

I know it well, I just don't like it. I don't like the talking over tactic. Do you know what I mean? I just don't like it. I don't like, take a smash and I get smashed. They sing songs about me. They go on for fucking hours. I've gotten a 45 minute smashing

where I didn't get a chance to talk. And over and over. I was in Amsterdam, I almost cried. Grand The D was eating cake the whole time. I didn't get a chance to talk. And over and over, I was an amp-set and I almost cried. Grand The D was eating cake the whole time. I didn't mind it that much. You understand? I got it. But when you're doing a fucking show like this,

when everybody's here, you know, the funny comes in, I don't care about you, dumb hat, I really don't give a shit what you do, bro. I don't care. Make you fucking bones, I don't give a shit. Just get paid, have a good life. I don't care. Make your fucking bones. I don't give a shit. Just get paid. Have a good life. Make people laugh.

Don't be fucking poor. Don't kill yourself. But, you know, everybody's your parents, bro. I just, I fucking don't like the talking over. I hate that shit. You do that. I didn't know you did that. That's your thing.

Well, that's what you do. That's what you're doing today. I don't know you did that. That shit thing, well that's what you do, or you're doing today. I don't know, and it sucks now because we're both not as heated as we were. You know what I mean? So it's, this conversation stinks, cause now you're all quiet. Monroe and Gunner's watching.

She's ready to punch you in the mouth. We should have pretended that you guys fought while the thing and then you kicked it out. It would have been funny. They fucking, they beat each other up and then Bobby started having sex with us. First of all, I'm fighting Monroe. I'm not gonna fucking just all I'll brought I'm gonna suck upon you. I'm gonna go dude

I don't want to fight you and then as soon as you turn your back you get hit with a lamp Robot fall down from the trees under your head. What is all about? What does that mean both of you? sequential order what It was a monkey joke. There's a monkey and then she was do stupid. She did a she did she did an original Bill Burge Oh, my my name bill bird my brother's name Tim Timber. Hi listen. That was that was in I don't know You got heated you got real heated too. Yeah, why I got heated and it like I said, it wasn't about the hat thing or anything like that. It's just as pet peeve I have when people,

you mean white people? No, no, no, white people. Just people in general go, you're this type of person. You're that. I've been getting at my whole life. So when people do it now, I get heated. It's an instant thing like don't ever tell me. It's a good thing.

But it's a real thing was like don't ever tell me who you think I am. Okay, but so that type thing. So I wasn't arguing. You know, I know you're an idiot. You know what? I wasn't arguing for that. Here's my pet peeve.

Finger whatever. Here's my pet peeve. If you're gonna have it, you can fucking sit there all day long and argue with me. I love fucking arguing, philosophizing, taking smashings, giving it. I love it.

Just don't do that fucking. I'm gonna talk over you So nobody can hear anything. I'm on a fucking show What people need to listen we're not in a fucking donut shop, you know what I mean? Why would it be a donut shop because I like don't know The same way that Louis gets angry. I the straights the same way you get angry. And it's the same it results. No, it's the same way. And that's why Kelly,

it's too bad that the thing clunked out. Because I did was like, you know what I'm sorry because we were arguing for two different reasons. You're arguing because I'm talking over you. But I'm arguing because you're telling me who you I am. Yeah, but you guys are right. Yeah, look, I don't know who you are. They're not telling you who you are.

I'm saying you're doing this thing that I don't fucking like I don't Lewis What stop playing drums He's Puerto Rican. That's a bit dude play drums. No, they don't they steal drums It's a real moment Lewis. So anyways That's the I mean, I just don't like that shit. I don't like that fucking talking over shit All right, so I I look I I'm sorry. I yelled at you. No, it's cool But it's not it's not yelling like fuck you. I I'm you know, I love you buddy

Because I don't have a problem with this mess if you don't remember you the first night I met you before I said hello you talked about this shitty card again I had on and you talked about it for an hour and five minutes. That's what I'm saying That's why this is new have a problem. This is that's why this is this is my exact point like who the fuck are you? That's why you fucking problem with the smashing, but here's the thing Here's the problem is that you never have a problem with the smashing That's my point is that you're always great with it. You're taking you give it But now you something hit you wrong and you kept you you just talk over I got I got upset man. All right brother

All right, the thing I love you. I love you man. I love you man. I love you man Someone how did you last episode of why he to be defeated? Man, it's good. It's a good Passing it I like look at man. I don't I don't give Nipples got hard. I like when people fucking get a little heated right or wrong Yeah, I wasn't fucking right and screaming that you I got heated. I'd rather I like those conversations I like when people fucking get passionate over something I feel like they're wrong. I want to suck each other's dick. Yeah, no, no, no, that's no

We're in a room of alpha males even telling You understand this? We're gonna fucking scream and yell and argue and fight and dead shit don't bother me I I'm not gonna hold I'm not gonna sit there gonna fucking my head I do with all my friends. That's what we do We fucking argue and and disagree and shit like that, but I gonna problem with you. Of course. I don't you six five I can be a total bitch though. I know you're a sweet guy. I love you, buddy I just heard you I know but don't ever come in here

Dressed all ghetto you were those glasses cuz you get fucking crazy like fucking the Hulk without your glasses I left my friends car bomb state. I was almost late here. I jumped out of his car jump a little bit. Monroe You never came back. No fuck you come back next week. All right. No, not next week. All right the week after Are we cool with the week after? Yeah? We go come back next week. All right. No, not next week. All right, the week after. Are we cool with the week after? Yeah, we got. Maro, come back next week. Where the hat though? You're my Louis.

I was gonna give you the hat, we're fucking. Maro, you're my, you're my Monroe, Jay Gomez. You're the replacement for him. I'm trying to fucking. You're a way better body than he does. I'm trying to groom you to replace that seat, so it's not so slimy in the summer. Hey, you know what?

What? That guy that's listening and that fucking piece the summer. Hey, you know what? What? That guy that's listening and that fucking piece of shit that keeps on tweeting at me. Yeah. He loved that you just said that. What guy? I don't know what his fucking name is though. I told him how he gets cancer. He's got kids and stuff yet.

I told him how he gets cancer. And then he was like, oh, yeah, that's funny. I was like, no, no, no, no, I wasn't trying to be funny, dude. I want you to get cancer. I really want you to slowly die of cancer in every part of your body. Raise a family and don't see them succeed. No, I want them to. I want them to start hating him at first because he's a failure. And I want to talk about he's thinking about Lewis. No, who will wish that on Lewis? He's going to get stabbed like every other part of

it. My dad was actually stabbed enough. I know it's a fact All right Lewis Nobody Lewis kel this has been a fucking mean show Great show You get a mean it's my birthday you yelled at me in my birthday that's it was a birthday No, it's my birthday today happy birthday You yell at me in my birthday. You don't have to be fair. You do try to spill over into the seventh and the ninth. I didn't want to like that one. I give this into the first eight minutes of the show within the last eight minutes. It just sounds like the tamiest

We were all like hey guys No, I was talking for periods and then the middle it was just a fucking What the dick down, those dick- We look into it with the sweetest, like, nice to see you, little, little, little, little. Well, I think if you want to know what comics are, if you really do, it is the sweetest roller coaster ride, it goes up and down, hey, what's up, good to see you.

Nice jacket, fag, I hope you a fucking kid dies. That wasn't to me. Look at me right in the eyes, boy. You're just in there. You focused in, like you really meant it. I meant one of fucking Monroe's kids, but he doesn't take care of us. The one in Bronx, the one in Bronx.

The one in the Bronx. The one in the fourth, he's gonna fall out of pocket window. I hope the one in the fourth, guys. That is just, that's right. That's the first one. I hope I'm gonna run more on the four guys So be Monroe 3S can only be slightly better. Just remember we're passengers on the train. We're not the train I learned that this morning fill college You got your present though Bobby what present? The present that we gave you and it's a surprise in it. Well Lewis. I'll see you later, buddy I got something for Louis for a lady

That's a surprise in it's prize in it. Okay. Let's guys. I'm Kelly got me a present from my birthday Is this from everybody? Yes, or is it it's every from everybody? It is and then while I was there Yeah, yeah, so she oh you got me an apple card. Oh my god. Well, that was just for me You got me an apple card. Oh my god. Well, that was just for me This is so nice. Thank you from you guys everybody like Joe. Yeah, everybody chipped in for it. Yes, everybody Like even Monroe. Yeah, even Monroe. I chipped in the most. Yeah, Monroe. Be honest with me. Did you chip in for this? Yeah Bobby, I did not chip in and I have no interest in shipping in I just think you're great and happy birthday Thank you. I was gonna get some from the assing on TV store once he texts me I was in the mall if you fucking knock my light over again piece of shit

Louis you fucking gorilla no I remember said pick this up. Hey man. What else? I got to hear my hacky sack because he loves hacky sack and he was going to hack but he's got the word hacky. What's your hack saw? Shut up. Alright you got Joe a gift? Joe, this is ruining my birthday. You're getting everybody a gift. I'm sorry because he's got right here.

Oh thank you. That's really good hair you You're getting everybody a gift. I'm sorry, I'm a poem because he's got great hair. Oh, thank you. Oh, that's really good hair. Good hair. You wouldn't get me a comb. It says, hey. Chris Gopo, a mouse pad. A mouse pad.

A mouse pad, yeah. For the thing we need that. You need to actually, oh, we've got a resty there. Oh, that's great. What'd you get, Monroe? Nothing. I think I've got some old chewing gum in my bag. Fuck you.

I'm just going to jump right. Look at this. Don't fry. I think for Dan. Can you believe I'm just straight shoulder. I'm gonna jump right. Look at this done for I think for Dan Can you believe I found this? He's a turner He's the whole ground for it But yeah, but you got a police car That's great. We should have gave that the little you know Bobby there was kid will know what is in this future is That was pretty funny Bobby a Broadway but it makes noise. It's probably doesn't say there is

$40 on that card, so don't spend more than $40. Oh, that's great. I can get a pair of fucking, I have a pair of headphones. The fuck am I going? I'm too much flippin' up. You're going to only get music and movies. What? Good.

I can buy R-I-P-D. Bye guys, I'll see you later. Lucia Gomez on Twitter. Yeah, Lucia Gomez on Twitter. Well, let's wrap this up. Here's what I have to do. I have to go back and put this whole podcast together. I have to re, I have to, because it fucking,

I think it's so fucked up. Every time the show gets heated, do you notice that? The computer knows. I don't know if it's, if people screaming in the mics. I really, you did go like this. I did see you smack the table. I got to stay away from the table when tomorrow makes me angry from that one. All right.

Speaking of my row is right is here. All right, guys, let's go through the table. Remember what do you got? Are you going to point to your hat? Right here. No, I'm going to keep plugging this. I'm doing the breakout series at Caroline's this summer, so I'm trying to keep putting it back.

What is that? It's, um, Comedy Central? No, I got it off of Comedy Central from doing that thing, but it's actually just like my own headlining night at Caroline's. Hang on one second.

One second. I think that Louis did. This might be Hollywood calling. This is Hollywood, California. Hello. Hello. Hello. Who's this? ASPCA. You got the wrong number, I'm sorry. Oh, hello, it stinks. Fucking I thought that was my big break. That was Simon. It was a Beverly Hill That's how it used to work get the call. It's a famous clock suckers. Anyway, just go ahead

Um, it's it's like you're headlining your own night. That's great. So you're headlining. I'm headlining I had a no hat. Huh? No hat. You're not gonna win I'm gonna give the hat away. Whoever comes to the show gets the money on my hat. Please go to the show for his sake and get the hat. And after that, don't tell them who he is because he gets mad. I love it if I go to a club. It's called Miami in and then I'm doing like some science theater thing. All right, listen, make sure you go to Monroe's Twitter.

Make sure you go to a show or Caroline's and support him. He's a very funny guy and one of my favorites on the show. Even, you know, I love that we argued. I love it. I do. I don't really brought us closer, man. I do. I do.

I like it. I was scared the whole time. Why? No, I was scared. You weren't scared. I thought this was awkward, though. Yeah, it was very awkward, but life is fucking awkward sometimes. When people actually take a stance for what they believe in,

or if they think they're wrong, or whatever, you get fucked up, and maybe I was wrong, I shouldn't have flipped out. I just don't like when people talk over me, and he felt fucking wrong, then we stood up for each other, and then you calmed down, and you realized, I fuck what was that all about? And you moved the fuck on, but you grow from that shit. You learn, so the next time it's like, I'm not gonna do this, all right? That's the way on but you grow from that shit you learn so the next time is like I'm not gonna do this

Yeah, all right. That's the way people you're right. That's why people actually evolve Because you I'm taking athletes, you know what Kelly your low kid and toys are right you really are just off the show Can you take something off the show forum tit? What I meant why is it nipple really hard during the TIT! Why is it nipple? It's really hard during the Ryan nipples. Oh yeah, nipples were hard.

No, Jay was hard over there. As I was yelling at him, I was like doing this. I'm looking at your titties. She likes the finger. She likes the finger. She likes the finger. She likes to see the mango beat the shit out of the fucking white guy. Out of three inches of padded bra, your nipples.

Like a Ninja Turtle chest. What do you got, Joe? a padded bra you're nipples ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They offered me they're very so you didn't have asked me. It's not a fucking you never asked me. Why would you have to do this every week? I don't know because it's fun for I don't know Lewis jay go mess is an upcoming guest and she's stealing my people now Oh, I've I've you know I put a weekend Robin Patrick Kelly your Irish you have how do you have loose on before me? What you're harder to get And Lewis mind of better stories than you. He's a maniac. I don't know about that stories you're looking for like Once you're about looking I'll get pulled from the front about fighting today. It's great

Who's on it with you? You like this part Mark Norman and I yeah, it sounds like a real humdinger It is a humdinger and a lot of energy It's a tamer podcast in this one you guys have a hung up with two fucking afternoon bartenders Afternoon buck quip quip quip go ahead. There's a lot of stories. It's a sweet podcast Hopefully we'll have you on someday. Yeah, we get a lot of big guests coming up. Yeah, who? Probably a bigger guest Commitments from a few friends. Wow.

You have television, Craig. You know this one. Really? I do know people. So I know you do. Apparently, you really don't fucking like me, Joe. I asked you to be on it earlier. You said you're gonna be on.

What? This is all I have. This is all I have. This particular one. That one is. Alright, anyways. But wait, it's doing well. We got like 1500 listeners. That's a lot.

That's a lot. That's actually as much as Lewis has for doing it four years. No, I'm kidding. Kelly, what do you got? Well, we got the you know what, at the village underground, there are seven o'clock show with Robert, Danny, Chris, myself, and Lou, and then at non-occur with the right car show. So I go online and buy tickets for the New York Comedy Festival boom.

Robert. And what other show is right after that? I said it in there. Is that a clock at non-occur? I don't know. Right car show at non-occur. Okay. Let's go, but what do you got?

My Twitter at Chris Scopo. Say it twice, because Kelly's not gonna pull it. Kelly will most likely not put it any tags, so you have to go find me. Tic. C-S-C-O-P-O. What else do I got? The only big show I have come up with is Louis.

I'm hosting for him when he's headlining Foxwoods. That's a big show? Well, for me, it is Bobby. None of us fall in the cell. Oh, you know what, me it is Bobby none of us. 14,000. Oh you know what dude? Fuck you. Every night. So yes. I have a thought. Yes. I think next week or whatever week, I don't want to be presumptuous to think that I'll be here next week. I mean I did bring the heat here. I think that we need, here's what I, if I may, suggest while we're here wrapping it up. We got to have an episode that better features Chris's thoughts and comedy. That's how we're here wrapping it up. We gotta have an episode that better features Chris's thoughts and comedy.

That's how we're gonna get the Twitter followers up. He doesn't have a chance to, to show. So we should shine. Do you have a five minute day? I say, they're listening to this. How do we have them? I'm saying everyone's the one. How do we, how do we get them to do stand up for us here?

That's a good idea. Well that might be tooling. Come to film it. Maybe a successful show. Maybe a swiss thing or something. No, no, no, he can bring in a type and we can all listen to his's yeah, well mine's actually funny So oh

Snap back to reality. Oh, that goes gravity. Oh, he's all That was rabbit. I couldn't I couldn't sing with you because I don't actually know the words So I got all right. That sounds good. We need a tape of scopos comedy or at least say some shit on the show I would I try to look he has a microphone in front of him, but he's got a lot of work to do Well, I mean that's it. I don't want they don't want to just follow guys just working. He's gonna do both They do want to do but he does both You're an audience remember they're just here in three lines Telling you talk a lot

Joe I'm talking more than I'm trying to do more than fucking Monroe for the beginning of the show He's fighting with Kelly. I actually told him to do a mic check as he wasn't talking I'm not a fucking light of fighter under his ass just to get him to fucking go I'm not saying he's doing a bad job. I'm saying we need to feature him more so people like I'll hold on what a hilarious guy What about featuring Kelly? She says things We need to Polarious guy what about featuring Kelly she says things We could emcee her don't well all right listen you want to see read those letters But what you had let us we want to do it next week. I want you I'm gonna get him to you And you're gonna read them all right listen

We're gonna read the letters next week. I gotta go. I have a kid to see I didn't know me and Monroe We're gonna fucking get into a dick slapping match I didn't know me and Monroe were gonna fucking get into a dick slapping match To end the show and to end the podcast now I gotta go rebuild the whole fucking thing When did it clunk out right when right in the heat of it right? Yeah, right nervous. I was like oh fuck This thing went off. This is I listen I gotta go Monroe, Joe and birthday Bobby. Thank you, man.

Thank you, Bobby. Happy birthday. Everyone that knows you guys too. Thank you, man. I love you guys. I love all you fans. Everybody listens to the show. You guys are awesome.

I hope you like this one. This was, I gotta go build it again. So have it works out and we'll be back next week with another episode of, you know what, when that Monroe number, or you want to come back next week? I'll love to. When is it?

When is it again? Every job. It's on a Wednesday. Wednesday at three o'clock. Yeah, it's in the fuck you talking, man. No, he's actually actually trying to sabotage me. No, we are. It's true that he's actually actually peed on it. Oh, oh, all right guys we'll see you next week. You know what I'm getting? I'm stuck in the fog, I'm stuck in the fog, I'm stuck in the fog

You know what I'm getting? This clock's on, it's on, it's on You know what I'm getting? Really dude, really, really, really You know what I'm getting? Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop. Don't stop.