Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Jerks

Episode Date: February 20, 2012

Robert and Dangerous Joe sit down with Fabio and Marco from 'The Jersey Jerks'. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. Hey, this is Fabio. This is Messi. This is Chris.

This is Marka. We're from the Jersey Jerkshow. And you're listening to Robert Kelly's, You know what, dude? Podcast on riocast.com. What's happening? This is Robert Kelly. Thanks for listening to the You know what dude podcast real quick

If you want to come see me do my stand-up live I'm gonna be in Las Vegas at the end of February the 23rd the 24th and the 25th at Paris Hotel and casino Paris comedy club I'm gonna be in Maryland at McGubby's Joe House in March the 15th through the 17th and then I'm going over to governors, brokerage, Belmore, New York, the 23rd and the 24th. So go to Robert Kelly Live.com to buy tickets and get more info and keep spreading the word about the You Know What, Dude? Podcast, thanks we go. What's up? It's Robert Kelly with another fucking episode of fucking fucking dude, we gotta come up with, I don't know what the fuck anyways, you know what this is? Do you know what dead podcast with me, Roberto Kelly. Today we have, of course, Joe chomping into the fucking microphone

Derosa with a pretzel. Mushmouth, just put the microwave. It's like, what is this your first time? Never. No, we've never put the microwave. Remember when the listeners would go, stop smoking into the mics, we go, go fuck yourselves and blow it into the mics. That's always been our MO, we've never. You guys smoke here? No, we quit, we quit. Why, you don't smoke? Anyways, ha, that's all we have. That's all we have. All right, well, pretzels sounds like you're eating a fucking fat

lady's ass hole. Just mushy. I mean, pretzels. Gotta go dirty every time. Fuck, really? I'll fucking shave on your eyebrows up. And we have in the house, and I'm very, this is the first time it's ever been done. That's right. No, I'm kidding We've done it before not with you guys, but we've we've we've we have one of the other great shows on the riot cast network

Which you know, I don't think I'd be here If you want for these guys you going If you go on for these guys you going ha ha Let's the riot cast boy. I mean the Jersey jerks are in the house. That's right. It's the original fucking Motherfuckers. That's right. We don't have all of them now two out of the four. Yeah, yeah Sorry, you got about 70% of the show right here, right? So you're good. We Is that it? Yeah, whether you want to judge it by weight or Town alone We, is that it? Yeah, whether you want to judge it by weight or town alone or something. We're judging it by weight, it'd be fun.

80, 89. Point, fuck it, nine. Yeah, you guys, the Jersey jerks, great show on the Riot cast network, sit down, and Kelby, get the fuck out of here. It's just, you know, I'm sorry, that was my thought. Because Kelby, every time somebody come, I'm sorry guys, to interrupt your fucking beautiful intro, we're about to give you, you know, I'm sorry, that was my dark. Because Calbee, every time somebody come, I'm sorry guys, to interrupt your fucking beautiful intro

we're about to give you, you are fucking it up. But the fucking dog, every time, he's gotta, he cock blocks my podcast. He's gotta take a stupid fucking raggy toy, okay? And bring it over to one of the guests on the show and do, don't fucking do it, leave him alone. Ignore him, he won't stop. Do you understand that?

Do you know why I have two dogs? I'll be honest, do you know why I have two dogs? I'll fucking tell you why, because this dog's a fucking cunt. That's why. I got the other one, the white one, the fucking great one, because I needed a fucking good dog. I needed a fucking dog that people would like. And that fucking dog, this fucking little silky shit fucking

terrier, don't get a terrier because Terry is all look at that dog Look it look at that's me just my white one on the couch Here's me getting a little angry and walks away and when I go diva show run to me watch it diva diva come here diva diva Interesting that's the way I want my fucking wife look at that come here baby. There's something wrong with you. Yeah, there is. Yeah. There it is. It's the dog whisperer over here. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. This toy he will do that over and over over and over and we'll not fucking stop time. Okay, here's a deal I I've taken that toy and put it on top of dressers and went to sleep. I woke up. It's in his mouth I'm like how the fuck you climb up the dresser. I don't know what the fuck he did I've seen him pull towels off. I've seen him pull towels off shit To knock something over so something will fall the toy will come down so we can grab it Why don't you just get rid of the toy? I've tried my wife will keep on it. She keeps mind on fucking toys It's a fucking nightmare. Anyways, I was telling you downstairs That when we you know when we first got the dog I went and I said I go look I had a rubber hamburger

I said whoever whatever dog goes and gets this fucking hamburger is our dog. Because that's what dogs do. They fetch. If I could go back in time, if I had a time machine, I wouldn't go back and, and, and, and change the beatings from my second stepdad or all the times I got arrested or the drugs or the molestation, I wouldn't change any of that. I'd keep it all. I'd go back to that fucking hamburger day.

And I'd say the one that doesn't get this hamburger, the one that looks at it like fuck you and stays sleeping, that's my fucking dog. That's what I would do. Anyways, I'm sorry, Joe, I'm sorry. Jersey jerks. I'd die trash. Feel better now.

I feel a little better, but you guys guys are here man. Yes, you guys Well first of all tell us a little bit about your podcast because not everybody knows Who the Jersey jerks are really listen to my podcast? Oh your numbers would be a lot higher. I'm kidding I'll be honest with you. I don't think anybody but us to know who the Jersey jerks are here either Well, I mean, I, I did your podcast. So my publicist came, it got in touch with me. She goes, she goes, the Jersey jerks, they want you on the show and I go,

I don't know, fucking vet these guys because I just had a problem with a podcast that set me up. They weren't fans, they were kind of constant. So I got on the, they tried to set me up but I was like, all right, I get it. What do you think I'm fucking dumb? Go fuck constant. So I got on the button, they tried to set me up, but I was like, I get it, what do you think I'm fucking dumb? Go fuck yourself. If they suck, by the way, those guys. Yeah, well, they're horrible.

Yeah, what does it called again? Free beer and hot wings or something? They really were plugging them. No, we're not plugging them. They suck. You can go listen to them, they suck. Well, they set me up, but then she called up, and they didn't even have the balls to go, yeah, we did it.

They were like, we don't know what you're talking about. What do they do? They stay at they had me on and then they did the old Savitage the interview thing, you know call me my wrong name a All Ryan fuck real and it's like oh, I got it. I was like I get it. I okay. I get what this is No mornings who radio yeah, but they're not even fucking morning You don't record it. There's no time for it. It's just like whatever dude, you know, let me look if you don't like me I'll fucking might even go on just ask me stoop it Fucking debate with you morons unbelievable. That's why I was like, you know the Jersey jerks doesn't sound fucking

Healthy That's why I was like, you know, the Jersey jerks doesn't sound fucking healthy It could be something up with this again with the weight But I don't understand that but you guys were fucking you guys are great. I got on the show Well, it was a bad it was bad sound remember the bad sound on that first. Oh, we were first He was a nervous about it. Yeah, we were nervous first, but the sound quality Joe you could hear one dude It was horrible kind of we just started out we didn't really do an interview robber was our first you could hear one guy kind of it was like it was probably not you got your air Robert that's horrible we felt so bad it was fucking I like see I like that shit you see he

was cool about it because he was like I had take your time yeah finish your question yeah even though I can't hear it right and I'm on an 18 I say yeah, how long ago was this? Oh Jesus got to be two years ago I don't know. Yeah, it's been a long and now look now we're in Roberts living room doing a podcast. Yeah, now well this Daytime we reached a bit my top of the world. Well, you know what's so funny? I said that at the show we did our live show Wednesday night. Yeah. What you fucking turd didn't come to. No, I don't ever want to come to New York City after you just had

after driving in here. Forget it. Or we're never going to drive here again. Yeah. Well, you get to explain that. Yeah. Yeah. You got to tell the people what happened.

Bob, you were you were the driver watching So Driving up this street that mr. Kelly lives on yeah, I had to look for a spot and he said that there's plenty of parking Yeah, and it's free Sunday. There's no parking. No, no, we parked it. It's a lie I know I lied. It's new you're ten dollars an hour by the way. So let's be this up. Can I just say something? First of all, I got you. I'll throw you a double berry.

We'll get you a little out of the nation's. Double berry. We'll give you a little money. We need some donations to help him out. We're gonna give you a little. Anyways, listen to it. Here's a deal. First of all, your lie.

Of course, when anybody's coming to New York, it's such a rookie move to be like, do you know panic about the parking. I've done that when my family, when I first moved here, I don't know, and maybe fun to spot. Yeah, do this parking everywhere. You just let you deal with that shit when you get here. And you know what?

Wow, that's a rookie move. That's not a rookie move. This is what you do is you just say, look, I'll be honest with you, the parking on the street might be rough. You might have to go into garage. That speeds the whole thing up. So they know, okay, if I can't find a spot okay

After five minutes right absolutely Absolutely fucking serious show But if you want to have a little fun knowing that somebody's panicking driving around fucking losing their mind You tell them yeah fucking it easy it's gonna be knowing that these two jackoffs a fuck that spot I don't know back up can you make it we can't do it? It's like what cabs you know fucking awesome that is knowing that that's happening plus it gives me an extra fucking 10 minutes to set up because I know they're not gonna be here exactly on time we would have been we actually got

a roll up on my New York's finest we got we got here one I could you guys really I got here at about seven of you guys were here since one we enter we got all we got out of the tunnel at one So we were pretty much here and then we you know drove around the same couple blocks And then I went up one more block up this street and I turned you went the wrong way up this street No, not this street. I turned right on a wrong way. So don't even remember the street basically what you're saying is I rolled up on us had Bobby been honest. You wouldn't have to go to court on the 26th Correct. Wow. Yeah. No, that's not true, stupid. He's saying. That's what I'm saying. You're saying you fucking. He's agreeing.

What really? Is that what you want to do? You want to do it? It's true. I pitched Harry. So down. I'm running a new board here. And I don't know if it's going to fucking take you. That was the good board. This is this this thing is incredible. Can't handle my voice. It's nothing can handle your voice the good board. This is this this thing is incredible can't handle my voice It's nothing can handle your voice Did if we went to Mars you wouldn't be able to go cuz you'd crack the glass You fucking voice You got this kid a court date. All right, listen, I didn't do it. First of all you're in New York City

You got to pay attention guys Get a court date. All right, listen, I didn't do it. First of all, you're in New York City, you gotta pay attention, guys. I'm a fucking dick. What an ass. I feel bad, man, how much is the ticket? It's not a ticket. I have to go to court. Dude, you're not gonna get a ticket.

You're gonna go to court, and they're gonna go like this. You're gonna go to court. Here's how it works. If I pay, if I don't go to court and just pay out, whatever they want, I get points. I have to go to court and just pay out, whatever they want, I get points. I have to go to court to fight getting points on me. So what, dude, you go to fucking court, dude, you get to do a little long order,

we're a suit, we're going to go and go dun dun. That's a fucking great for the podcast, dude. You got, I just made things better for you. Oh, yeah, sure. Because if now you got that day, that's gonna be a great day You should bring a zoom down record to interviews before maybe flips out a little bit gets out of ruled I feel bad, dude. I apologize. I think any donations from here on out should go to his Fund yeah, really yeah, we don't get that many donations. Don't get carried away

I'm fucking Adam Corolla. It's okay though. It would be cool between now and April 26th when my court day I actually will be up the corner by the Ethiopian restaurant with a cup collecting the money Why an Ethiopian? Why don't you go to a fancy restaurant? What are you gonna? Yeah, why do you do because that's the one that stuck out all these restaurants around here? I saw and I was like Yeah, what what's the main course fly? My, damn, my wife. My, my, my, my, Larry. I'm, I'm supposed to go out with somebody tonight. And actually, the, the, my, can I tip the set up for this? Yeah, God. We, we did, we're doing a podcast date with our guest from last week. Okay. Who was, who used to be in my assistant? Who used to be

Bobby's assistant? We're doing a let's see because we got into a really big fight on the podcast. So then we were like, well let's the two of you go out the dinner and see what happens. So I tonight's the actual podcast date. So I called her today and I go, what kind of food don't you like? And she goes, all right, let's not do Ethiopian. It's like who the fuck was gonna suggest Ethiopian right and she goes This is what she does. This is not fucking annoying. Kathy is What the fuck did you say that yeah you're in trouble why she's not gonna hear it before tonight So I know she is she I go, I go,

is there any kind of food you don't like? She goes, she goes, I don't know, yeah, yeah. One, let's just not eat theopian please. And I was like, okay. And then she does a five minute explanation of why she doesn't like eat theopian food, right? And I go, okay, I got it. We're not fucking getting eat theopian food.

It was nowhere on my menu. Like, I don't know what the fuck you're, right? Then she goes, oh, an Indian food. Too curry, too spicy. Not into, I don't know what the fuck you're right. Then she goes, oh an Indian food. Two curry, two spicy. Not into, I don't like Indian food either. So don't worry about it. And then she goes, okay, cool. Oh, an Italian food. And I start laughing. And she's like, what? And I go, any other fucking foods you want to add to this list right now? And she goes, look, motherfucker, you asked me a question. I'm not 23 years old. I'm going to tell you the honest answer. I go, I know. I asked for the honest answer, but you said

just eat the opiate food and then added two other foods. Do you understand how funny that is? Right. More common foods, right? That you just keep adding foods to your list every say just one. Right. And nothing. She just didn't laugh at that. She didn't think that that was that funny. Do you know I've known Kathy for probably 15 years. She was my assistant for a couple years. I know her before that. I know when she used to drink and she used to be a bars and she was such a trashy broad. She just flicked cigarettes.

She'd be at a bar smoking and just flicked the cigarettes. She was a con. Like some chicks, like just on a couch. And I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? I have to go like what are you a fucking nut? She Get the fuck get out of here Kelby go go go That's fucking dog man. He bugs me

We can't read of them. I don't know what I'm a window right there We'll take you'll take Calbee. I would consider it. Here's the deal. Calbee's Dawn's Dog. Okay, Diva is my dog. You even look weird at my fucking dog, Diva. I'll fucking fight you.

Nothing to fucking do with Diva. Why? Nothing. I like how the man's dog is not. Too big. Too big of a dog. I look a tiny little, you could fit it in your backpack dog. I'm sorry, sex in the city. I forgot about you.

That's right. Dintin, dintin, dintin, dintin, dintin, dintin, dintin. Wow. You know the theme song? I own the fucking box set. Of course I know the theme song. Halfway through season three, baby. Do you know what I called last week's podcast? The one with Kathy.

Because I'm putting both podcasts up. I put both of them up the live show Explain that to you after and then the Kathy when I put a Guy a girl and Joe That's funny. It's a great name. It's funny. Anyways, I got into two chins would have been bad Who may yeah, well, yeah, but he's not a guy so I had to pick one. I was gonna call it, I was gonna call it six tits. Ah, anyways. So Kathy used to flick cigarette.

Dude, I call it a, sorry guys, bring me to the Orthonbin, that's what I really started about. I'm actually intrigued. Yeah, you're gonna get to promote it. It takes two seconds. We only have 30 minutes left. Listen to the Jersey jerks. Never did. We can go now.

All right. Have a good day. What do you fuck out what? She called I call it a because I was like, you know what? Yeah. Listen, Kat, I get to a podcast that I have a writing meeting with Bob and Bill. Yeah. Then I have to go home and do all my post-writing meeting, writing and bullshit.

Right. I know I'm supposed to meet you across town in your neighborhood at 830. It would really just like be easier for me today. If you don't mind, could you just meet me in my neighborhood? Right. It just, I have a lot going on. Just the stress of not having to worry about.

Yeah. Sure. Right? Yeah, easy. 15 minute fucking argument. 15 minute argument. She's like, are you kidding? It's across town. Get into a cab. I don't understand. Just be late.

Do you have to go back and do stuff after? And I go, no, I go, sweetie, when it wants some yours. I'm yours. I go, I just don't want to have to. You got to understand. I got to go home and do work. And then if I'm sitting there going, I got to get a cross. I get it, Joe. You get it. Let me tell you something, brother. I know her and I know you Do you understand that's why this has got to happen because you two fucking bickering cathes

You won't give an inch for it to a chick if a chick fucking confront you on some psychological level like a lawyer Dude, I know you fucking you'll you'll be nice for a cup and then you'll go at it and she's the same way, dude. So the fights that are gonna happen between you and her are gonna be epic. That's why you give, the other day she's calling me, I pick up the fun and go, you fucking cunt. Shut the fuck up.

And he goes, Jesus, now you know. Dude, now you fucking up. I goes Jesus. Now you know. Dude, now you fucking out. I said they're on the phone. She goes, she goes, she randomly goes, fine, like I'll come across and meet you fine. Right. And I go, I go, okay, thank you. And she goes, you know, I just,

I have opinions about this and I'll tell, and I go, no, no, no, tell me now, what are your opinions about this, right? And she goes, and she goes, she goes, and we're kind of laughing, but we're fucking douching each other. Right. And she goes, she goes, nothing, I just think it's like, I mean, give me a fucking break. Really?

You can't get into a cab and come, it's really, it's that big of a deal. I go, okay, Kathy, since we're being honest and exchanging our opinions about this, here's my opinion. I'm taking you to dinner. How much more do you want me to cater to you right now? Come to my fucking neighborhood. I got updated girls that live in Queens and Brooklyn and the Bronx. You know what they say when I say come to my hood I'm taking you out. Okay, Joe. I'll see you at 830. I'm fucking paying for everything. Get over here. I used to fucking have a chick who lives on Staten Island bitch had to take a boat a

Captain she had to hear on her way over To Spanish Harlem to suck my cock. I'm not going to you. I don't take a bridge or a fucking tunnel or a boat to go see anybody It's not happening. Oh, and then this is funny, right? She goes she goes I go Kathy I go Jesus Christ you're acting like it's I go I could understand if I said hey Kathy change your plans come to my apartment And we'll just hang here. I get it that you would be like what are you doing dude? I Would get that I go that's not what I'm saying and she goes fine I got it. I'll be there. Don't worry about it. You won and I go yeah, and I go fine Then I'll find a place for us to go right? Okay blah, blah, blah. Then I go, she goes to where she is.

Listen, this is the deal. You'll fuck, stop. Shut the fuck up. With what? You're talking about this and this podcast, you understand, we're not doing this. You just sucked me into Joe fucking. What do you mean?

Dude, this shit you're talking about is for her when she comes back on. What do you mean dude you look this this shit you talking about yeah is For her when she comes back on no, there's gonna be on a whole new thing a shit for them That's fine. That's fine, but this is going that is gonna go after listen I can't get into this man this this whole thing you're getting into way the fuck into it first of all these guys drove from fucking Philly Joe and Fuck into it. First of all, these guys drove from fucking Philly Joe and that podcast is that podcast don't waste This psycho analysis crazy shit. You told me to tell you the story on the pop Hold on a second. No, because now there's story, where you going fuck, speed it up.

No. No, only you're thinking that. Hang on. Yes. Ah, hey, you two do a podcast together. Me and you fucking work together. Mako. I'm just telling you what happened.

No, I just, I don't want to. This was the last funny part. I thought it would make you laugh. All right, go ahead, sorry. She goes, where do I meet you? I go at my apartment. She goes, I'm not meeting you at your apartment. I go, is what do you think I have a fucking net over the door that I'm going to drop on you when you, I go, meet me at the

fucking apartment. Jesus. And she goes, okay, fine. I go, really, that's what I had to do was tell you what to do. And she goes, oh, well, I'm not going to give you all my secrets. Oh, and I was like, oh, so now I go really that's what I had to do is tell you what to do right and she goes oh well I'm not gonna give you all my secrets Oh, so now I get it. I go you meet me here day 30 and I'll tell you where we're going Okay, cool. All right. She at least hot. Yeah, she's she's got a great body. Yeah, yeah, I might be worth all Not that kind of thing though, but here's it's not that it's like a pause Well, it's not a podcast day. Well it's podcast. Well, it's a well, it's not a podcast. It's a well, it's a podcast.

Well, it's a podcast. But no, I want to see what happened. I'm sorry. It's not. No, it's all right. No, it's it's it's it's because you don't know where this show's going. And we're talking about something and it's all going to be discombobulated. You understand?

And he's going to the shit that I don't want. I want this to come out at her face It's and I don't want to have people already I heard this all right I wanted to hear the first time coming out at her. I'll just make it forward to that May I remind you yes of the four or six part Bailey J. Saga Did listeners ever go we've heard this all right? No, they went what happened next? That's great, exactly. Yeah, but that was your fucking gainus, that was, that just, we didn't know you're in the closet.

Oh, this is a tease, this is a middle tease, dude. Next week, you're gonna get the fucking, I just want to get back to these fuck faces. Because the story of them, I mean, I, you guys, after we did that initial podcast, you had contacted me, correct? Yes. And you said, dude, my friend, he said, he's actually, he was like, you should, you should get on riotcast. This was a wild, a glory hole.

Formerly glory hole. Glory hole radio, which I was like, all right, well that's where Rob already contacted me too. You sent Rob over. Rob had contacted me. And then I had talked to you and you were like, yeah, they're fucking cool. It's a cool guy. He's a cool guy. Blaba Blah.

It's a great network. Blaba Blah. And that's why I went over. And then Florentine, I called Florentine because he contacted Florentine, too. Yeah. Well that was his initial contact with Florentine. Yeah, Florentine because he contacted the Florentine, till. Yeah, but that was his initial contact with Florentine. Yeah, Florentine goes, I don't know all these guys that fucking, they contacted me. And I don't know, whatever, I don't care, I just do the fucking podcast. Yeah, yeah.

Nice, nice, nice. So I was like, fuck it it and then we went over and then It's I mean it's fucking a lot different now. It's a lot different. It's a lot fucking different now It's it's getting better and better. Yeah, but we've almost gotten completely swept under the rug Come on I don't know you didn't hear our last podcast. No, I Motherfuckers. I don't know. You didn't hear our last podcast.

No, I didn't. Oh, Jesus Christ. Because I don't think you would have invited us here. Why? You probably would have got me. Why? Say nothing bad about you. I should probably apologize to me.

Not necessarily you. I actually stuck up for you. Yeah. But I apologize to a one-bitchard boss. Why would you do the rich? I was emotional that day. Your emotional every day. I just said, you know, I said maybe something

on the lines like he stinks. You did not. Yes, he did. Voss doesn't stink. No, he doesn't stink, but what we were talking about was the fact that guys like that don't give a shit about the like don't they don't give a shit about the network and that was the basis of the show. We were saying no, but here's a deal. They don't plug a shit about the like don't they don't give a shit about the network and that was the basis of the show

We were saying no, but he here's a deal. They don't plug a riot can here's the deal you get understand That that makes sense to you and it makes sense to me because I can see your point of view right right but It's not that he doesn't care. He cares. He did you understand he was presented It's not that he doesn't care. He cares. You understand, he was presented doing this. I did this for years, calling Quinn. And then I did my own podcast on my iPhone.

I remember that too. You know, all the time, right? Me and Joe did that shit all the time. He just throw the fucking dump thing on the table and I put it up on my thing. That's why you will like, you should bring it over here. I did a podcast, you did a podcast. Voss doesn't know how to do. He didn't think

of a podcast. I brought that I do you and Bonnie because I spent a few shows with them. I was like, you guys are great podcasts. Blah blah blah. And presented it to him. He doesn't know what the fuck's going on. Well, that's the thing. We don't think that's a great podcast. Yeah, but you don't. I think it's really good. I don't think it's okay because you're not I mean at times it is the Luster wore off for me after like the third episode. Why is it that did it get you repetitive? It's for repetitive and it's it's just constant lining and I thought McFarland wasn't Jewish, so it was a shocker to me Yeah, but here's a deal though if you know them if you're fans. Here's a deal. We are fans of them both I'm I'm fan of their stand-up their comedy. I both. I'm a fan of their stand-up, their comedy.

I am. I'm a fan of everybody that's on this network. Right. I am, truly. Right, right. But now that you're behind the mic, and you're such a novice, I get that you got to get your feet wet and all that bullshit. But how hard is it to say two words?

He's not, but that's not you, you're missing the beauty of rich voss. You're missing the beauty of rich boss You're missing you're meeting no you you understand on the rich boss as a comic and as a character of who he is There is no other person like him. I can get you I can give you hundreds and thousands of comics that are funny and blah blah and you would do the same mother fucker Oh, well, Bill rich boss is rich boss and that's it. There's nobody like him. There's nothing out there It's he that's it the beauty of him whether you hate him at sometimes or you love him But sometimes there's only one of him that's to me is what makes a fucking great comic. Get this fucking get out of here. I was actually enjoying the tone.

Get all my balls. Yeah, that's all right. That's what makes him fucking brilliant. And the fact that all that stuff to start getting not getting a word, that's not a show. Sometimes he does it. He does it.

But he, that's him man. Whether you love him or hate him. It's like how it's stern. People fucking hate him. Good hate me because they listen more than the people that like me. So it's the same type of effect with Voss and Bonnie's show. You might listen to it, what the fuck. But again, dude, you guys are fucking, you guys, you're not gonna listen to a married couple

fucking bicker. I'm a married guy. Yeah, but you're not really married. I agree. I'm a married guy. Yeah, but you're not really married. I agree I You were newly informally now. Oh, yeah, you were married before yeah, and now you're married again Not really, but I'm back with my ex-boyfriend. You're back with another thing though. We're not gonna get into that all right No Look if you don't want to get I mean

What I'm saying, are you single? No, I'm not single. You're married. No, I'm back with my ex-wife. You're dating your ex-wife. Yes. Yes. I mean, officially, are divorced.

You're divorced. Why did you get divorced? We couldn't stand each other. You couldn't stand each other. So you should have fucking come up with the idea for the show. My wife hates me. You'd be a fucking star. I told you on

Well, this is when you called into our Yeah, that because you're when you're here at home. Yeah, and your wife is here Yeah, like why don't you guys do right? You know, yeah, because it's fantastic like one time you had a delivery guy here Yeah, and you're like babe only said to do what you're titties hanging out, right? Yeah, we lost it We're like this is a show. Yeah, I would yeah, I okay, here's a show I did and I told my friend Joe. What about? No, what? Where were you just then?

I was listening, but you say, here's a show idea. I did a show with Don. Oh, the podcast. I did a podcast with my wife. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I did a podcast with my wife. It went like this. Joe, can you please be Don?

Yeah. Okay, it went like this. Okay, I had the be Don? Yeah. Okay, it went like this. Okay, I had the mics all set up. I just did a podcast. I said, honey, sit down. She's like, why, just sit down. I hit the button, I hit the record button. I go, all right, welcome to a special edition

of You Know What, Dude. No Joe DeRosa, no Monster Voice, no other guests. Today on the show, we have a very special guest. My wife, Dee Kelly, give it up for Dee. Welcome to the You Know What Dude podcast. Hello, folks. And that's the end of the fucking podcast. You suck. You make me physically ill ill so then I work that's it hello folks. You went hello folks I don't know if I have that recording I might put it with this podcast. I think I might have deleted But I fucking was so mad dude. I was like you fucking moron Hello folks

But See when you call in she's hysterical in the background. She's always in the background. Yeah, but that's the best part. That's the best part. She's in the background. And I love it that Joe sticks up for. Yeah. Well, because you should be friends with my wife, Joe.

I should be. I don't like the fucking realness behind that. She, your wife's a great lady. She needs somebody to step in and say, it's watch where you go into Rosa. I'm gonna. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta. You gotta get into the levels on your fucking laughter.

It's almost incredible. One of us, like a fucking 9.7 earthquake on a Rittiscal. One of one of us has to if you if I didn't stick up for her yeah it would it would be the the humor of you guys would be lost it would sound like two people being really mean to you I know dude I know you don't know I know why you do it I know you like my wife better than you like me I like you a lot I feel like she likes me better than you like me really I like you a lot. I feel like she likes me better than you like me. Really is when it comes down to. That's a pretty safe assumption. I mean, that's safe. I gotta be honest with you. I'm a huge fan of the podcast. The podcast you know, dude. Yeah. And I listen weekly. Right. Okay. Yeah.

And I have to be honest, I'm surprised that you're still here. Really? Because I really sometimes feel like holy shit. Yeah. I guess what do you treat him like, Dane treats you? Is that what it is? Like, I just... Yeah, basically. Is that what it is? It's the funny thing.

It's Dane. Dane never, ever. How Dane's cool. No, seriously, do you bring that up? Dane never, ever, ever, ever fucked with me. Ever. We don't. you bring that up, they never, ever, ever, ever, fucked with me, ever. We don't, and one time we got into a fight, like nose to nose, like, let's fucking do this.

Cause it's different now, because Dane, when I first met him, was a very thin dude, very no muscles, nothing. You could see, look, pictures of him back in the day. I mean, no muscle tone. But then in the last three years, you like hired a trainer after fucking good luck. Chuck and he was banging Jessica Simpson. So now he's got these fucking crazy traps, like, bane traps. And he's got, he's got muscles. So we were nose to nose. And I was like, ah, shit, I got a bad hammy. I got a fucked up ACL. this fucking guy, you know, he's got a lot of, he's got high school grease rage,

cause he was in grease one and two. I am somebody. They appreciate your support. Yeah, I get emails that share the same sentiment. Probably from maybe. Becoming more and more frequent actually. What is the emails, Joe? I get emails from people.

What do they say, Joe? Cause I only tell you the fucking good emails that you get I can read I can read the fucking I didn't I bad email No, you have read me bad emails. I can read you more. I can read you all them. I've ever read you one Okay, what does tell me the email? Have I ever I want to hear one of the emails the fans first of all know that this fan that you're about No, tell me the email. I want to hear don't tell me the fans. First of all, know that this fan that you're about to, no, tell me the email. I want to hear. Don't tell me the fans name. It's getting defensive right now. Abs of fucking loomily out here. Yeah.

Just an example like that. They'll be like, what? Get them like, God damn dude, why does he fuck with you so much? Sure. Why do you, you know, Oh, I'm sorry. Fuckface listening right now that's sticking up for Joe. It's funny. That's why it's funny. And I get shit to you, cock, sucka. Go ahead, Joe, what else did they say? That's about it. That's it.

I don't know paraphrasing. I don't know what that is. I've been memorized, my minutes that they're going. Now I'm just a bite, can I take a guess at what they write? Just write it. Probably alone the lines of why do you take so much shit from Bobby? And why do you let him treat you like it's not for me?

It's not just for you know what I've heard what fucking I'm upset go ahead. I can take it. I haven't heard that much I have a lot of people going hey, and you guys good together. Oh, I think you guys are great I get mostly though. They don't understand First of all this fucking whoever that person was or people fuck you from Bob There you go from me fuck you you don't get the concept and the dichotomy and the fucking Enigma that me and Joe dangerous Joe are we're a married couple, but we're not gay Well one of us is a gay.

That's why he's bad though. Don't say that, Con. Whatever. I just want to use a big word. We're a joke. Shut up. You can tell it's not a boss podcast. Well, words about one syllable.

So anyways, there you go. Okay, that's what it is. We're a fucking married couple, but we're not married. Okay, he's my alternative comedy wife. He's my Bonnie McFarlane. So fuck you. All right? And now,Farlane. So fuck you, all right? And I got Bonnie wins with Rich, but here's the deal. You win too, motherfucker. Go back a few podcasts when you were fucking Well, I was talking you fuck with people do what about Dan monster voice all you do is smash him right episode

By the way, but when you when I fuck with you, you scream at me. Because that's what you fucking bring up. Well, that's, I think that's what he's saying. He goes, you laugh when you get fuck with Bobby Yellowstone. You don't laugh, you get fucking sensitive. You get heated. I've heard you've got it. Yeah, all right. Thank you, fucking thank you. You're right.

But stop screaming all the time. I scream, my screams aren't screams. My screams are like when, when fucking fucking bang right to the moon, Alice. That's the same shit, okay? Listen, that is justification. It's true. Baby, you know I just hit when I get angry. Alright, let's be honest really now.

You know my real madness. You've seen my, you know that this has nothing to do. I don't know that you're not mad at me now, of course. Hey dude, of course. You want to be real? Let's be real on the podcast. Yeah, but this is fun. Yeah, we're having fun, though. You want to be real?

Let's be real. Did I just say we were being real? Did you notice my fucking better mic than everybody? We're, this is my, I'm not sure. Yeah, I did notice. When did you buy that mic? I got it given to me.

First of all, I want to start. And I bet you a shit, you're douched your old mic right in that closet with I got it given to me first. I want to bet you shit your douche your old bike right in that closet Well, all your other technology is throw away. I got all the mics up the old board I got that till we needed that we use that the other night. I keep it all I keep the old board because if we would this can't be I didn't know how to use this on the live show that old board is what we use to do the live show by the way that Closet is the fucking island of missfit It's not that closet dude. No, this is all stuff I use over here the live show, by the way. That closet is the fucking island of misfit. It's not that closet, dude. No, this is all stuff I use over here.

The storage unit, over on 43rd, you wanna go in there, dude. I got, ugh. You've pulled bags out of that closet and gone, dude, do you wanna case? And you pull, literally holds up a clear plastic bag. Anyways, it looks like something that a fucking Indian would have on eighth Avenue.

Before he loaded his blood. I wish somebody wrote an email sticking up for me right now. Anyways, so you, I really wanna get back into this because you guys, I mean this is, okay, first of all, there's shows on the network that aren't for me. You know what I mean? I don't listen to everybody's,

I don't have fucking time. Listen to everybody's shows. Aim of, fucking time. I listen to every show. I mean, I do. I name them. But here's a deal. It's as a fucking network. We have thousands of other shows trying to fucking be better than you and me and everybody. Well, here's, it doesn't matter what they are, but they're more popular.

They make money. They have more downloads. And so as a fucking unit, as a network, the whole concept behind this fucking network, the only reason why I was into it at all when you brought it to me is that I'm going to have you guys, all the other podcasts behind me promoting me and I promote you. And we're like a fucking team instead of one motherfucker being out there like I am the shit. Right. Okay, because we don't, you don't have the fans.

Nope. I don't have, I'm not dang cook. I'm not J. Moore. I'm not Rogan where you can just turn on a mic and get a, you know, a hundred thousand people just to listen. Because that's how many people you have on Twitter anyways or more than that. I don't have that. I have 44,000 people on Twitter.

Joe has 20, how many you have 20,000? I have like 12,000, 13,000. 13,000, not a ton, but you know, no fucking follow at Joe DeRosa comedy. Yeah, but I'm 100. Yeah, but here's a deal. Here's a deal with you guys, okay? You guys would be doing it for how long?

Two years. Okay, how long are we doing it with as riot cast? As like, since since April since we started Prove 11 we started with Glory hole. We came a couple months later. Okay, so but how long has it been yeah, so how long has been riot cast maybe eight months six months? No, not even longer. No less than that riot cast six months. You mean you mean the name change? No since since I came on Yeah, about six months. Yeah, that's yeah, so here's a debt. Here's a deal since I came on. Yeah, about six months.

Yeah, that's yeah. So here's a deal. This thing, all the stuff that's coming out now, now that you got Voss with, you know, he's popular, man. Whether you like him or not, it's not about not liking the guy at all. No, it's the podcast, and it bugs you,

but you do, you do. He's got time to say audible.com. Wait, what the what? He can try. I know what you guys never explained what happened though. Okay, explain that. You're gonna get a coffee, explain that to Joe. You're vaguely saying he did do something.

Well, here's the thing, it's not as shot at him as a comedian or even Bonnie as a comedian. Has nothing to do with what they do. I respect what they do. I'm actually a fan of what they do. Me too. Okay, my problem is now that they're doing, now that they're doing a podcast, you know, everybody, I mean, even if you guys don't say it

every week, ryecast.com, Bobby has a recording that he plays either at the beginning or the end of every episode that says and listen to all the great podcasts at ryecast.com. Something to affect, right? Bobby. All right. Well, they are just oblivious to where they're actually are And wait a minute. Well, wait, but will they have they've been told that they should do that? I don't know The key here's the key not yet They get downloaded on iTunes for instance, so people can search for them on iTunes has nothing to do with ryecast They don't actually go to the website to see the other shows that are on Rycast. That's my point.

Get the traffic to go to the website, Rycast.com. I bet you they just don't know. I did a video blog for Lasspin. And it was on the Lasspin site. And one or two episodes in, Dylan, that runs it, called me and was like, hey, dude, he goes, the blogs are good. He's like, but you have to put like a laugh spin

Thing in the opening credits. He's like that's what makes it worthwhile for us and I was just like oh shit, dude I'm sorry Jesus it didn't even cross my mind. I'm sorry honest mistake Yeah, so like I bet you if you told them they would do it I mean I got to be honest. I don't listen to anybody's fucking podcast. I don't even listen to ours. Like, I will listen to parts of it because, you know, if like, it's like, oh man, that was really funny. I want to hear how that actually sounded or whatever. But I just don't listen to these things. I don't, I don't. So, so if I suddenly was doing my own podcast on Riot, cast, Jesus, I was called a Riot spin on Riot cast. Jesus, I was called a Riot spin on Riot cast. I wouldn't even know like, oh, the other guys do that bumper thing.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't find out. Not selfishly. Yeah, but here's the deal is where you're gonna say it's six months, man. We've gone from literally a fucking no name network to one of the fastest fucking rising networks. There's shows in the top fucking 50 to 100 from riot cast every week. Okay, riot cast when people go there, they see your show. Okay, now you're gonna understand that that's six months. Right. Okay, it's going to get even better. Once the other shit comes out, it has nothing to do with Voss. It has nothing to do with my show.

Here's the deal. It has nothing to do with any of them. You know what I mean? It's what it is. Number one is that, look, I can look at fucking Corolla and I can look at, you know, J. Moore and all those shows, and I can be like, what the fuck, the Nerdists? I don't even know some of the guys on the Nerdists,

but they're fucking number one, or number two all the time, they get a lot of down. I don't know these guys, I can sit there and go, I'm funnier than those fucking shows, and listen to those, what the fuck, fuck it? All I do is focus on this, so I do, What the fuck, how can I make my show better? And how do I get more listeners? What can I do for the fans that already have?

Because they're the ones that actually spread the word. The fans of this podcast are the ones that spread the word. Plus, you know, the people I have on the show, like fucking Joe, monster voice. You know, the quality of the show that we do, and what we talk about, how we do it, and the fans like it. Am I gonna, I might never get past 50,000 downloads.

That might be my, I don't know. I know that I'm going from hundreds of downloads to thousands of downloads in a year or so, okay? I know that so something I'm doing something right people are liking it But they're they're the ones spreading the words not the fucking not the other podcasts not other people I mean look I go and I go on everybody's podcasts, too I don't just do my podcast I go on your podcast this guy's I promote my shit wherever I can I come up with new logos I come up with fucking t-shirt and also I do that for the network too

I do this whole thing for the network with Rob I try to how can we make the network as a whole people Fucking be into your show and your show is a hard show to get people to sell you guys are fucking edgy You talk about whatever you want, you do whatever you want. So stamps.com might not be fucking in to doing your shit. So behind the scenes, I know Rob is constantly fucking working his condo to not, he doesn't think he cares about his show

and he puts his show, he knows. You know what someone said to me yesterday that made Neil Brennan, the reason why he met Slice the Lone and he said, you know the way Slice so cool, he knows his value. He knows his value and he'll tell you his best stories because he knows where he's at. He knows he's not this guy but he's not this guy.

He's this guy and he knows that. So you fucking immediately like him. You immediately want to support him because he's not, he knows where he's at. You got to know your value. I know my value. I know I'm not, I'm not even fucking arieshafear for Christ's sex. I don't, you know what I mean? I don't, I'm not on death squad and I don't have that type of people behind me. I'm kind of the guy in front on this network, helping other people.

I don't have anybody helping me, you know? So it's like, I know where I'm at, but for the people that are listening, I'm only doing it for you. Help me, all the people that you guys help me get more listeners. That's who it is. You guys help me, don't. What can I do for my podcast?

What can I fucking do? And I'll run it through Joe and we got, you know, T-shirts coming out. We got coffee mugs. We got the posters. We did the live show. We're constantly taking risks. And I'm spending money. And I mean, crazy shit to make my show better.

So it all falls back on you in general, because if you say fuck riot cast, we're gone, we're out. Just, it's all on you then. Right. It's all on you then. You're gonna have nobody to blame. And then, now that'd be funny if you did that and you're shot to number one.

And then we were actually holding this back. We were totally just holding you back. You know what, douosh was holding this back Is that I mean I just went on a fucking rant, but does that make sense? Okay, I agree with everything you said, but there's then we don't have to talk anymore the way good podcast Thanks for coming down. Hope you work out to take a Joe. Love you buddy. Dang you. Oh my god There's one little problem though. You equate yourself with us. There's a difference see yeah Yeah, but he did I I explain Vosreal quick

before you get into this? Oh, I'm not even talking about, but go ahead. Okay, go ahead. We are working these bugs out. We're working out how to make you, your show, how do we get people to go to your show? How do we get people to listen to the fucking Jerseyers? You're listening to our talent.

I've listened to your show. I've listened to your show. I've listened to your show. It's funny, dude. I mean, as far as podcasts go, I don't know if you've ever listened to it. I've been on it a bunch of times, and I've listened to it, and I've fucking laughed. I've legitimately been like these fucking guys. It's not just a bunch of dudes in a chick, fucking, pian idiots.

I mean, that's in there too, but it's legitimately a funny show. It could be a radio show, I didn't listen to it. It's what the fuck are you doing? And what the fuck are we doing? It's still a, we're figuring this out. We got the app coming out, which is gonna, okay, picture this. All my fans have the Riot cast app, right? And then they look down, they see your podcast one day. con bolotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Great and pillage. I think a lot of his frustration, because you look at the top 10, and you see non-foney podcasts,

like Mark Marin, you know, guy, not funny, sucks to me. You know, the reason why he's a Lorenz Sucks, I think his policy is honest. Really? Can you please, before you fucking say that, can you look at Joe's outfit and face before you say Do you do you think Mark Maron sucks? But it's not I don't think it's something I don't think the goal is for it to be funny

I think it's supposed to be insightful and investigated is a Mark Maron starter kit on I mean yeah, I get it. I get it. Sorry. I didn't mean to be mean I don't offend your fans on the show cock suckers. I don't know Sorry, I didn't mean to be mean. I'm not a fan of your fans on the show. Cock suckers. I don't know. I'm not a fan of him. Mark Marin is successful because he is actually,

I believe he's the innovator of comedy podcasts. That's bullshit. I am. I am. You should have ran with it. Mark Marin ran the whole book. He's got the title. I agree.

I agree that he fucking stuck to it, but I am. Have you looking, listen, ability, are you crazy right now? Listen to Billy Burst's first podcast. Right. Who is it? I can't tell if you're joking. Just answer the question.

I'm a Bid. I'm dead serious. Who's on? Listen to Billy Burst's Monday Morning Podcast. You know that popular one that's number fucking five. Yeah, right. It's fucking hundreds of thousands of downloads every Monday. Me setting it up.

G-Cast. Bob Kelly setting up my fucking podcast for me. I had a G cast before anybody had a podcast, I was doing podcasts. There was a thing called G cast. I had a G cast. Yeah, okay. I had it and you had it because I had it because you had it because Billy had it and I told Dane. I had it before Billy did, I said.

Doesn't matter. No, you didn't matter, no you didn't. And then it didn't. Because I had it, nobody knew about it. I gave it to Dane. Now, I set up this podcast for me and Colin. Me and Colin could would talk every night and feel like an hour and just shoot the shit and bust balls and fucking make fun of people.

So I said, fuck it, let's record this. I found this thing, you call up. You leave a voicemail for five minutes. I just did an hour. With Colin on two way, and I hit a button number nine, and it threw it up on the internet. And then you sent the link out, and people could listen to it on the computer. Okay, and I had it set up that it went to my page, my website. So I made a podcast out of this fucking G-cast.

It went, Dane Cook was number one, of course, because I set him up on it, and then it went Madonna, Madonna, P Diddy, and then us. 20,000 listeners, me and Colin Quinn, back in the day, and then he fucking said, fuck you, I don't want to do it anymore, and it was over. So I had the fun part.

There could be more than one innovator. Well, that's the innovator. I invented my space. But innovator doesn hat to both you because I think you did have a look. You said something the other day where I was like or excuse, like last year, but the other day I realized how true it was. But last year, you were when you got your app, you were like, this is the new website. Absolutely. And the other day, I was on my iPad and I was on eBay and I was like, the fucking eBay app on iPad is so superior than the website. To the website, the Amazon.com app is so superior to the website as far as shopping, finding things, whatever. And I was like, God damn it, Bobby was fucking right.

It's all about apps. You really did blaze the trail as far as like a guy that going, hey guys, this is where we should be looking. To be honest with you, if more of us here in New York would have listened to you at the time, you know We all could probably be a little I Further along. I mean people give Dane credit for fucking having the website shit I'm I had the first website and then I told I did FTP space

A.O.L. We had a lesson that they taught you how to do it I had the first website told Dane about it. He got one just a photo and a little bio and a guest book and Then he just copied me and then he went I I started him I started social networking But with the maran thing I'd like to speak that there was a very very interesting article I think it was a New York magazine or the New Yorker or something maybe might have even been in the times, but they talked about podcasts and they said the way the headline was read, something along the lines like the death of funny or something like that, and it looked like they were going to bash podcasts, but they didn't.

They gave them accolades and they said, you know, what's so riveting about these podcasts is we've heard for years that, you know, funny comes from pain. But those two things were separate. Pain was always behind closed doors and funny was out in the spotlight. And finally, these podcasts have brought the two together. And they talked about marriage where they said like, here's a podcast where they, where you can see the process. You can see where it comes from and that's interesting to us and To me with this thing that we we do I like I Prefer and hilltop Bobby can tell you I've sent it to him a million times off air

I prefer any day of the week that we sit here and just talk without like, I'd rather have like the fucking heart, the heart and mushy discussion than the fuck you, stupid, nice beard, dummy, you know what I mean? Like I'd do that too, we all do that with land. I don't like to say either or, I'd rather do this than that. I mean, I like the fact that this thing goes where it is. He's sat down, it's not, I like, look,

I like the fact when it does go there, it goes there. I like that too, it's it is. He's set down to, it's not, I like, look, I like the fact when it does go there, it goes there. I like that too, it's fine. But when you set down today, so what do we do to it? And I just talk, that's what this, that's what this podcast is. And that's what we do. That's what we do.

Yeah, we win. We win it, man. Every Tuesday night, man, live, we go, you know, we go live. We go live. The thrill of going live is even more challenging. We don't stop recording if something goes wrong. We just, we go through.

Well, you can't. Well, no, understood, understood. But I'm saying like we could take a commercial break or something like that, which we have in the past. But we don't do it anymore. It's just like if something goes wrong, this is part of the show now. Well, look, yeah, I mean, you guys go live.

I mean, I hate going live. I don't know how you do it. You know what, we tried live. I don't know how you do it. You know what we tried that the... I don't know how you're fucking, yeah? And it just seemed there's no energy. There's low energy actually, not no energy. I get it. I don't know, live is just for me running,

I don't like, like I'm doing shit now, right? I'm trying to fucking, I'm trying to, I have Kath, Kathy on the line. I tell I thought you didn't want to talk about it. Well, I have her on the line. She wants to say something. Is that okay? Alright, so can we? I can't hear her though. You guys will be able to hear. Alright, I'm gonna, I'm gonna hook that up. You'll be able to hear her kind of. Do you guys want me to do it? I can try to do it. Yeah, yeah anyways, okay hang on one second hang on

Okay, we're we're waiting for Kathy. You see if she calls in Kathy Joe Kathy Kay Is the what she goes by she actually wrote a book? She cartooned a book about all the fucking dudes. She's banged over her life. Really? So she's a classy broad. Ha ha ha ha. Anyways. Don't bang her Joe.

Well, you guys were talking, before that, she hasn't called yet. So before that, you guys were talking about basically Mark Marin. And you like, you'd't like I don't like me to say dude I'd rather just be fucking honest I mean I mean dude I like what we do because sometimes it's honest sometimes it's fucking smashing sometimes it's just outright but I didn't mean I didn't say I don't like what you say you'd rather you use the word rather what I said was I'll read I can rewind it let you hear it

what I said was you can ask rewind it and let you hear it. What I said was, you can ask Bob, any day of the week, I would always prefer to have an introspective conversation that a ball-breaking fed. It doesn't mean, and then I mean. That's not true. And then I immediately said, it is true. And then I immediately said after,

I liked doing the ball-breaking stuff too, if I had a preference, I've had to pick one though, I liked the dissective conversations better. That's what I said. I, I, I, I, I, anybody wants to listen to that. No, but wait a minute. Hold on. See how they do.

Marins number one. I think Joe, I think what Joe Shun is saying is he'd rather the hang session. No, I, I know what comes natural. I know what he's saying. I get what he's saying, but I, I'm not going to fucking, I don't like, you know me, I don't like fucking, uh, saying, you know, I get what he's saying, but I'm not gonna fucking, I don't like, you know me, I don't like fucking saying, I'd rather do this, better. I'll do this, if it comes to this podcast,

I like, it goes where the fuck it goes. Sometimes it's introspective. Sometimes we get psychological and break shit down sometimes Joe you got let me see your phone my phone's not working for some reason. It's not it's not fucking work Cuz AT&T is just just fucking awesome. They're the shit give me the phone before you dial don't hit All right, don't fucking them just telling you what to do. Don't fuck me. Yeah, I know personal Don't take a person when I boss you around dude. I'm a boss you around fuckface. I'm just saying don't hit the button Don't go get the car. You're being defend. Shut up. No. You're being defend. Shut up

Oh my god, are you changing our plans again? This is no. This is not Joe This is Bobby you're on the podcast, Kathy Kay. But Joe is listening and so is in the Jersey jerks. He's what? Exactly, I'm here, Kathy. This is who my top right is. It's Bobby. It's Bobby and me on the podcast.

He's, so it's just you and Joe. It's's me and Joe. Yeah, two guys you didn't bang All right cool then the Jersey jerks here introduce yourself Marko The guys the big big big fucking jerk you are He's ready he's ready mad on me Well We we already talked about it. I talked about that I asked you for a slight favor to meet me halfway on something and you turned it into an on 90 there at 15 minute argument. What I just I didn't make sense.

Well, it did make sense to you because you're being lazy and you're saying come to me. You're being cheap, Kulia's lazy and that's what you don't get. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people.

I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. It's free, but you still can't come over to our original plans I don't know that doesn't make sense so if you worked if you worked in eight hour day If you worked If you worked in eight hour day and you were taking somebody out on your dime and you said to them and no you could just be you and you said the man the man does count she's the man it's a different thing. I'm taking out a bigger one trying to get down the path. Oh Jesus Kathy would

you let me finish the point if you were taking out somebody and you worked today and hour day and that and that and that part and you and you said, you know what? I'm going to take care of this person today, but it would just be a little stressful if they could meet me where I'm working to just kind of fucking, you know, so I don't have to go. Now now i gotta get across town after all this it's not that i'm not going to show a thing that i don't know if it's a big deal to you well here's a thing you didn't like the way presented once i said kathy i want you to meet me in my neighborhood because that's where going you went okay that's cool

once i got demonstrative about it and said this is what's happening then you were like okay cool. I realized no You're wrong once I realized it your way or the highway. I was like okay I never said it was my way or the highway I Helping you for a fever and I said no I never said it was my way or the highway. I'm take for just just his button really quick as a judge I'm on Kathy side. There's you are. Of course you are.

No, that's not true, Joe. That's not true. I was on your side to begin with, but she's making some good points because as a man, but again, Kathy, you're talking about Joe, so you're going to kind of take that down a couple of notches. As you see how he cock blocks. Do you see? I'm not cock blocking. As a cheat. As a cock block. I've said this in front of her. You're not a man, man. That's no cock blocking. You're not a man, man. I don't understand. You like sex in the city.

You're saying, okay, okay, since we're blowing up spots, Bobby Kelly, the guy that goes 10 minutes ago, dude, they come to you, dude. You never go to them. Because I'm a man. Because I'm a man. Yeah, well, I'm a mission So then you should be seeing me having this conversation. I want to told it a beat it around fucking 20 minutes ago

Shut up exactly Kathy okay, so got it. No, no, you see that it works. Go ahead Joe. I Wonder Kathy do you see how he flip flopped on you I said did you see how he flip flopped on you you went wait a second Robert no he said he's not I don't see I could be on my side if you understood where I'm coming from you just heard Joe side of things Robert Kelly put yourself in Joe's position. You're a guy trying to like cope up with the girl as your first date with her.

You make a plan with her. You work all day. Who the fuck cares, okay? And you need to meet her at a certain place and you call her up and you don't even make up a lie. You basically tell her to stay from too lazy to take a cab. I'm back on Joe's side. I'm back on Joe lazy to take a cab back on Joe side I'm back on Joe side listen the fact that he's too lazy to go get some

pussy and he wants the pussy to come to him I'm back on his side it's not Kathy I am now when you put it that way Kathy Kathy you know I have something I know about Robert telling for like, the diner's food, he'll travel from 90th street to 30th street. You all know how to draw money. Yeah, I'm food, not pussy, let's be honest with you. I'm a cop, I'm a cop, I'm paying his job and he'll be there. Cassie.

Cassie. You know, if I pay your cop, will you come to my neighborhood? Cassie, it's not a matter of paying for the cab or laziness I don't want the cab Can I facility the understand Kathy? Kathy what you brought you brought up man and woman you brought the sex and gender into this Let me explain something to you. Okay for a man to be in control to have the the demonstrative to be in control, to have the demonstrative fucking approach to a date that he should have,

and to seem attractive to a woman in doing so, he needs to be working on his own terms and his own ground to some extent. So when I knew, when I knew, hold on, let me finish. Just let me finish. Let me just finish. So when I knew I was gonna have a stressful day, I was like, you know what? I'll be cooler and calmer if she meets me in my hood and we and I'm not like rushing to get out the fucking door

And that's it. That's all it is. It's not lazy It's let me just be the guy and take you out and do it in the best way possible And you just be the submission bitch and show up what he told you I'm single at 43 because I'm like more like a man. I like really I'm like a man and then I've heard my belly Jay bit I'm gonna listen to volume down in his last Jesus I said good of you know I was just making a joke you're more like the man look yeah unfortunately it's some ways it's some ways I'm more like the man. Look. Yeah, unfortunately. All right. In some ways, in some ways, I'm more like the woman, but let's face facts here.

I'm not coming to your hood for you to take me out. How much I say it is. It's cock lock them you, but you say it, it's fine. Because I say it, me saying about it. Because you said it. That's it. No, no those thin fucking fingers out of my face Stop pointing all five of them at me. They're fucking mystical and I don't like You when you when you want to do a tizzy

and he went into a tizzy. You went into a tizzy? No, I told the story over. I said, I said, Kathy, what kind of Kathy? I didn't go to tizzy. I was laughing. You got to understand difference between me laughing and something and me being upset. I was laughing because I said, what kind of food don't you like?

And you went, oh, just Egyptian. It's fine. I go, no problem. And then you go, because Egyptian food, and with the bones, and you went to this thing, or Ethiopian excuse me, and I went, okay, we're not gonna get Ethiopian food. No problem, but then you went, oh, and Indian food too. Curry, and it's too spicy.

And I went, no problem, I went no problem. I don't like Indian food. You went, okay cool. Also Italian, I'm not into it. And at the top of the conversation you said no Thai food So we're basically that that's why I said I was gonna throw a fucking potato at you It was just funny the way you said it if you would have went if you would have said it like this I'll tell you what there's like five fucking foods.

I don't like, here we go. I wouldn't be like, shit, all right, cool. But you just kept making it sound like it was just one and you kept adding, that's just funny. I wasn't in a tizzy about it. It was funny. I know the sad thing is Joe, there's like 800 foods that I'm like a food.

Well, we're gonna find out tonight, aren't we? When we walk up and down ninth Avenue. Is she coming over here? Kathy, get in. No, no choice. Ooh. You do have a choice. tonight aren't we when we walk up and down ninth avenue I think she coming over here Kathy you don't have no choice you do have a choice I would just say I don't have a choice just come over here I'm coming over with my pick-down on oooh I asked the wall I you're gonna wear a

bra tonight though that's the question I definitely know where bra don't wear a bra I don't know bra no don't wear a bra. Don't wear a bra. Oh, no bra? No, don't wear a bra. Listen to me, don't wear a bra. Where it's so maybe you, we're a shirt that shows a little cleavage. Really get Joe's fucking cock smoke and hard with some pre-jizz is coming out. Yeah, which pre-jizz is coming out and give him a little attention and we're, you know, and then fucking, you know, give him a little attention and where you know and then fucking you know

Give me little tease get his dick dripping like a stroke victim and then shut it down, Kath Then you'll have more you want to want them and then and then and then and then you know go back to his She needs an app so he's an and so drink he's like i'm so hard to get a i'm not drinking i'm not i'm not drinking joe is going off for two weeks joe doesn't drink and he doesn't smoke and he doesn't eat i have to be a

right what's that i prefer when guys get drunk when i look at them because like that's a good as me being drunk oh that's how he's thinking if you want, Joe. I've seriously been offered two weeks. I'm taking a breather. But you know, Kathy, if it's going to, if it's going to score points, you know,

we can go back to the well tonight. Listen, real quick, Kathy, is there any, what's the odds of Joe getting some fucking getting his cocktouch tonight? Zero. Zero. Joe, now Joe, one of the odds of you getting your cocks touch tonight. I think I'm at about 90%. 90%. Wow. All right, you four. Listen, Slep bag, we'll find out next week when we when you come back on the

podcast. Okay. Podcast. I got a fulfilling accent now. C830, baby. Bye. I got to go eat my sushi because Joe's not taking me for sushi I a fulfilling accent now. C-830, baby. Bye. I gotta go eat my sushi because Joe's not taking me for sushi I'm having it now.

I'm making my phone call. Why don't you say that? No, she did. That's where she's supposed to get her neighborhood shot up. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye, Cath. Bye. She seemed like a nice four.

Listen. Joe, I am so fucking happy. Hang on one second. Hang on. Money, I mean, fucking happy hang on one second Money I mean you just a fucking you just you just a hunk of garbage Joe You're a hunk of garbage in the best way possible before you fucking point your fingers at me and go Well in all seriousness let's not be serious because let's be serious because you love it I like the way it goes Let's be serious cuz you love it. I like the way it goes Rather just fucking pick each other's brains

I'd rather just fucking get in a little cool and talk about life every which way Bobby whatever Direction it's called fucking Bob Kelly's podcast. I get to pick the direction. There you go There it is there it is there it is there it is get out of my house There it is. There it is. mean let's be serious about this. I mean, for real. Do you think I'm wrong in my not wanting to go over there? Well, here's the deal, bro. You're not into Kathy.

If it was a regular girl, you'd fucking jump on the cab and go over there. If there was potential, the wavy material, you'd fucking go. It doesn't matter if you work 16 hours a day. You'd go over there and you'd walk there if you had to. This is just the chick that you think is kind of hot. You really don't give a fuck, so you know what? You can get your ass in the cab and get the fuck over here. As it should be, as it should be.

You wanna come here, come and meet me. I'll take you out, I'll pay for you dumb fucking food, whatever it may be. But I'm not fucking going all the way the fuck and people say it's across town. She's one of those go getters. Let's just walk. Yeah, but it's 40 blocks. I know, but it's what there. No people don't walk anymore. Shut the fuck up. I wonder why she's just get up and turn the TV. Yeah, exactly. She heard voice. Oh, listen, first of all, Kathy. I like her voice. I like your voice. Kathy, no, I won't trash Kathy. Kathy is a fucking animal.

When she was my assistant, she's the best. When she worked at Aspen Comedy Festival, the fucking best. She is the shit. She used to work with our manager. She's the shit. Yeah, she's great. Unbelievable. She's pretty girl too.

Smoke and body, pretty girl. So I won't, but she fucking, she's the shit. She's great. Unbelievable. She's pretty girl too. Smoke and body, pretty girl. So I won't, but she fucking, she's a dude. She's a fucking dude with a fucking nice body. 12 inch penis. Well, that's Bailey J. Yeah, that's your one. That's only an eight inch, seven, seven inch, too. Seven inch?

Yeah. The rose will go to Harlem for Bailey J. Yeah, what's this? The rose will, yeah, he go to fucking kill, fucking whatever, upstate New York, fish kill. Take a fucking, a great hound up there. Yeah. And this clock's like it won't go cross town

with a cab and fucking with a regular check. If there's a cock attached to it, he'll fucking take a hang glider. I'm just so fucking. Listen, so you guys, I mean, we kind of touched on this thing and went off on a fucking tangent just because I wanted to, Kathy was, I needed to have Joe talk to this fucking nut. This is going to be explosive.

Oh, it's going to be great when she's on the podcast next time. It's going to be tonight's going to be fucking horrific for you because I know where you're at right now. And you got a lot of shit on you played, a lot of work, a lot of anxiety. And this bitch is going to crack you and you're gonna fucking take it all Loud on her. I hope it happens in public. I hope I read about it I hope it's on the fucking news because I can see you going shut the fuck up You're fucking nuts and her just yapping over you. She that's her thing. She'll talk over you. That was nice Kathy

No, she was talking to me just then it was driving me crazy. She kept cutting me off now I get it now. That's why I'm so apologetic when I cut you off, because you used to yell at me about that. Yep. Okay. I get it now. Thank you, man.

Thank you for that, by the way, seriously. Thank you for doing that. That's why I'm so sorry. I don't remember you apologizing, but now I'll take this one. No, whenever I do it, I always go like I just know. Sorry. I want to snap my own neck when he does it. I just literally just die.

That's how angry I get. I smash my own teeth and spit them in your eye if you don't have glasses on. But it's fucking infuriating. All right, so listen, I'm sorry to sidetrack, but you guys, you fucking guys. Don't look at me with those gay eyes. You clock suckers, really. I just think that, you cock suckers really.

I just think that, you know, that I don't know what you said or what you didn't say on the show, but you guys really get mad. Well, because we think we're, we truly think we're better than most. Yeah, but he, yeah, but it frustration more than anything, I think. Yeah, but you can't, look, I could say, I've done that too. You're in that rookie stage of,

cause you guys, look, you're not comics, you're not actors, you're fucking Humps from Jersey that did a podcast, right? Right. Okay, South Philly, sorry. No, right, right, so we're all from Philly, but we live in South. So you put this podcast together,

cause you're all funny hanging out, you do this, all of a sudden you get fame You know, people start telling you how great you are You're in the early stages of fame. Yeah, but it gets tired hearing it from your mom all the time. Yeah, wow There's only one way to take care of that Move out Here's the deal, dude Thank you. I didn't want to say it, but it's okay.

I'll take it. That's funny. But you guys, we've all been through a two-way. You got to know your value in life. That's the great, and show business especially. Look, you're a fucking great podcast that's growing. Just figure out how to get more people to listen to you, but you're not going to do it by trashing the other podcast.

Because look at, look at, I'm not going to do it by trashing the other podcasts. Because look at it. Look at you. I'm not going to trash somebody's podcast. It's like a comic. I don't I used to go that guy's a fucking asshole. She stinks. Why the fucking eye? What? It doesn't matter. Yeah. It doesn't matter. You know, the fucking millions of fans that listen to this podcast You're gonna understand that they fucking it's it's

It's it's it is what it is man. I'm not in competition with anybody I'm really not you're not in competition with anybody. This shit is all up to fucking me That's it. Well, if I come up with a new logo and the people like it, cool. If I fucking get a banner, if I decide to do a live show, it's all up to me. If I decide to go with fucking glory hole, it's up to me. It's not up to anybody. It's all up to fucking, and you are what you are at the time you're at.

It doesn't matter. You're not in competition with fucking Rich Voss or anybody else on the fucking network. And if he helped you or not, it doesn't fucking matter. Because see, literally, I can sit here and just, Jersey jerks, Jersey jerks, Jersey jerks, it will help you for a minute. Trust me, I did a fucking tour with Dane Cook, 80 arenas, over a million fucking people

saw me destroy 80 times, okay? Think about that. 10 to 20,000 people to show. In the round, I destroyed every fucking night. That was one night. Not one night did I ever fucking take a hot one or have a mediocre, I destroyed destroyed I should have a million people

Behind me. I should have all those people fucking on my Twitter I should have all those people listen to this podcast. I should be but I don't because they're not my fans They're his Different bracket though you have to remember that no matter what what you are in a different bracket than we are But I'm gonna a different bracket than he is. Exactly. But it doesn't matter. I'll get to where I get with this.

I am not doing this for any other reason that there's fucking people that like it, and I like doing it. I like sitting across from that fucking face over there and talking about shit and having fun. That's the only reason why I do it. And having you assholes on and talking about shit and having fun. That's the only reason why I do it. And having you assholes on and talking about shit, that's the only reason I do this. And the people that like it, that's it.

Whether it's fucking 10 to 20, so without a give a fuck of a, yeah, look, things are getting worked out and as far as, as a unit, as a fucking network, we're better than fucking by ourselves. You know what I mean? That's what I think. You know, as a unit, we're a good show. All nine shows on riot gas together is a really good podcast. That's what I think. That's what I love.

One percenters and the nine actors together. Awesome. Yeah, but you guys are fucking the animals too though You fucking mean people. I will not mean very many. Yeah, we are you're not mean. I am you know why you so mean very angry I'm just honest and it turns out to be mean because people can't handle all right, so but why why do you feel like He's angry dude. Why you so angry? No, I'm not like Lewis don't make me so not that angry Lewis. Hope's Jacob Gomez, yeah, no, I'm not I'm not that I'm not a really angry guy I've never known that side of them, but I hear from his part He don't seem angry to me. He just people pushes buttons too much, but I'm not I'm not angry in that sense

I'm not angry at all like you don't want to beat people up Because I literally let you know that I have a couple I have a couple fucking knives and baseball bats around the house. And strategic spots for you guys coming over today. So like a case up and let something case something happened. If you under your chair, there's a nice, why are you surprised? I'm kidding, nice. There's nothing, I have nothing.

Yeah, I'm not an angry guy, I'm just honest. I have two fucking gay dogs. What the fuck? I'm just honest. And it derosa. Yeah, but you say honest, you're not honest. You're not being honest. Okay, not honest. You're not being honest Okay, why not you're not being honest because here's the deal you you don't apologize if you don't say I'm sorry

It you what you really doing it for them. No, you're not doing it for them really not because you really don't you really You know, okay, you don't think boss is his show is good. You don't like a show. No, okay great. That's fine But it's not his you can't get mad at him for not plugging your show It's not it's really about our show. It's the pot. It's the network in general. Okay, that was the case We made last one. Okay, so when someone explains to you. Okay, look he doesn't know he has to do that We haven't you really haven't set him up look we're gonna start doing this So we're gonna put it in front of your show because blah, blah, blah, because his show is good for the network, but he doesn't really know how to do a podcast like you do or I do,

because he's only been doing it for a couple of months, right? That should make sense to you as a fucking intelligent person. Where I get it, I get that. But if you can do other things, like for instance, when he does little plugs for Audible. Obviously he's getting paid for it, I get that. Yeah, you're not with that. Okay, so that's the end of it though But but how hard is it to know that you're on right? Yeah, but how hard?

Have you listened to the plugs for audible oh hard? That's true it's it's he doesn't know he's not he does comedy He's a stand-up comedian. This shit is brand new to him. He's in his late 40s. He's got fucking three kids, four kids, or some shit. I know that. Yeah, he's doing this because he likes doing it.

He doesn't know how to, now he's learning how to, you know, how not to bang the table. And he's learning just like, I learned how to fucking do this shit. And you. So he doesn't I learned how to fucking do this shit and you so He doesn't you can't fucking name doing a podcast. Yeah, but it's also it's also this Dude he's a name doing a podcast. That's it right, but he's not fucking Jay Moore doesn't matter He's still a name that people know just like you right, but here. Yeah, but exactly as a unit as a fucking

What'd you say? People I knew Joe was before you guys ever did this because you're from Philly right originally Yeah, because I'm from how did you know Joe? Because I actually am a fan of stand-up comedy and I actually go online and watch and I saw that's when I first saw you Thank you line. Thank you. Welcome and I appreciate the comedy. Yeah. Thank you very much. I appreciate your show. And I thank you for saying that not a raw. We're fans of Stan of comedy. Yeah, we are. We really are.

Can we just hang on one second? Just stare down right now. Bobby's turn beat red. Is that easy? It is. Anyway, it's well, look, look. He's like saying that's like saying like Joe stops eating. Let me get back into this conversation No, I'm just listening, but I mean it's you know, it's it's like that's like saying to me

You know when Bill and I did uninformed on XM I never once said we're thought to say hey Part of the XM virus that to the network and now I'm sure that they were saying that for us in the breaks and the bumpers, but it never even fucking occurred to me like, oh shit, we should probably say that or is somebody saying that. He just doesn't know that. Vals also too, and this is important. He's a guy doing a podcast,

but you're saying like, how hard is it to figure it out? He's not a guy that said, I wanna do a podcast. I realize that. He's a guy where they said, do you to do one and he's like yeah, okay? You know so he just doesn't know man He's the most gracious guy in the world. He's the nicest fucking guy. I don't question how he's got damn nice guy And he's one of the funniest guys whether you like him or not. He's funny He's just fun Bonnie's I mean're just fucking really good people, dude.

And the fact that you lash, you're not at them for some shit. I get it, but you gotta kinda go like this. You gotta go, let me hold this for a minute. Let me hold this. Let me just check this. I know you're honest. We're fucking honest too. Yeah, but you can't.

There's sometimes, look it, there's sometimes, and I learn this, because I used to be honest too. I'm fucking honest, Joe. Hey, go fuck yourself, I was in LA, you fucking cock sucker, people would be like, do I know you, you met me five times, you fucking piece of shit, go fuck, it does nothing. People don't, you know what I'm saying?

That type of honesty, you're never gonna get a fucking age on your chest with a cape, captain honesty, and people are gonna respect you. You're just gonna be an angry douchebag that people don't wanna fucking deal with. That's just the way it is, because I used to be the same fucking way. There's certain things where you go,

I don't give a fuck. Do I, I'm honest, I'm gonna be honest when it's fucking matters. When it fucking matters. You wanna be honest dude? You want to be real fucking honest? Make your show better. Okay, get more fans. I should punch that cop earlier and say Jersey Jerkshow motherfucker. Okay, seriously, I know a guy who fucking jumped to the fish tank at the MGM with a promotional banner, got arrested fined and fucking had thousands upon thousands of people go to his show at

The hard rock because of that. I'm not saying to do that, but yes, he was a nobody Sold no tickets said fuck it jumped in the fish tank at the fish tank at the rainforest, this fat motherfucker in a G-string bikini with a sign. Go to fucking, and it was everywhere, everywhere, it was the biggest thing that happened in Vegas. And he sold, take a, he promoted himself, he figured out how to do it. Same shit, you wanna be honest, dude? How the fuck do you make your show but it without anybody,

with no network, just you and this motherfucker the fuck do you make your show but without anybody with no network, just you and this motherfucker, what do you do? What do you do? What can you do? What can the fans do and what can you fucking people that are up, the other people that you have a lot of people on your show? Joe helps me, tweets and fucking gets out there and spreads the word. I fucking on other podcast.

What the fuck are you doing? Because dude, you could get, you could be, you could get thousands of downloads every week. And then you'd be, you wouldn't even be thinking about this shit. Right. Honestly, God, once did it, thanks. You know what I'm saying? Right. It's true.

Because you're not, I would say dude, your podcast is not that good. Right. I tell you that. Yeah, I'd be like dude It's good, but you got you got a fucking real funny show you guys are I mean, it's my type of show So go make go get fans motherfucker go get him and if it and just and become popular Well actually, it's funny you brought that up because I actually have two ideas ones unrealistic

Yeah, I already know the answer. What are you gonna get a hot air balloon? No, the one idea was to put Jersey jerk show on his back and have Bailey J Fuck him in the ass Which ones there which on which ones are unrealistic? Well, no, that's the one idea. Would you let her do it? No, you know, you know, listen Did you think about that? Not a thing about it. Would you let her do it? Absolutely not we could do it on Joseph's put it on his back First of all Joe doesn't want to get fucked. Joe gets fucked every time he shows up here.

I was gonna check. Yeah. He doesn't want to get fucked. He wants to make love to a f**kin hot chick with a cock. He wants to gently f**king crash each other's dicks upside down. I would not do that, no, I would not do that. And the other idea that I think is realist, what is you could turn on that webcam right now,

and you can own up to the bet that you made with him last year. Oh, yeah You we didn't like that. All right. Well, you're gonna. We're gonna wait another eight. I'll do it right now I'll do it. Do you want to do it? We'll do it. What's this meeting? Do you have to actually you? Yeah, we don't really want to go Sorry, fuck up your meeting. We can do it right now real quick. We'll end the show on it You got to tap me in the balls, right? I'm gonna tap you in a ball Just real quick explain. We got to end this fucking. We're gonna end the show on it. You're gonna tap me in the balls, right? I'm gonna tap you in the ball. Just real quick, explain. We're gonna end this fucking, we're gonna end the podcast on this guys.

I made a bet with him two years ago that the Patriots would make it to the Super Bowl. They didn't fucking make it. Lost it in a jet. Well, all right, we get it. I'm just, you know, and in this two-spack, try to go double or nothing. And you fucking bailed out and you should have took it.

You bailed out, I should have took it. I should have, but I bailed out at the last second. Yeah, when I'm not stupid Okay, so here's the deal. He he gets to whack me in the nuts Joe. Okay bat bat you get that not punch me I'm not gonna punch you you get to fucking dead finger Just a dead finger dead finger right in the back. All right. Here we go and you get the video tape You have a phone right? Joe you tape it on the phone sideways please? Yeah, I got one too. All right, let's fucking do this.

All right, been waiting for this for fucking two years. We want to do mine, Joe, do mine. We'll give yours to him and I'll do mine. You know what I mean? So you get two. I'll do both. Come on, come on, here we go. Jamie, hit the, all right, here we go. The red light light that you don't fucking say I'm not a man of honor you are a man of honor get over here

Come on you fat fuck What that chair and All right settle in the bed I'll be gets wack to the right a second now. Oh my I got real I got fucking loose on these on awesome What change? Oh, I don't get to change hang on all right. Let's go. Let's go Let's go wait wait wait go go go go go go go go go go go go go Go wemen this is this is Hang on my balls from sitting down the hot and fucking drooping on if I got a glove

They're not tight at all do this so feel my balls I wait no, okay go I do it again. I flexed you do flex go Damn, I was stabbed on the man's arm. Look at me. Oh. Damn goes, Caledon. He's a man of his word. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jersey Jerkshow. Yeah. OK, that's it. Oh, fuck, man. I got creed.

He pulled to them. He pulled nuts. I got cramps on both sides of my fucking body. I'll do the sign off. Yeah, do the sign off, dude. This has been, you know what, dude? Tune into the Jersey Jerks on Rykecast Network. Look for us on Rykecast Network.

I can't say. Listen to Rykecast Network. Robert Kelly live.com at Robert Kelly on Twitter. Jota Rosa Comedy.com, at Jota Rosa Comedy on Twitter. And we got a new Twitter. It's at YKWD podcast. All right, so do that. Say that again, so they hear it. At YKWD podcast. All right, so do that again. So they hear at YKWD podcast on Twitter as well.

I'll be at the lab house 24 to 25. I'm gonna do jerks. Don't go that way. And Philly. We'll see you folks. I'm gonna sideways. Don't thin it out. There's nothing thin in that out.

Bye. All right, this is, you just listen to me and Joe with the Jersey jerks. And we're doing one of our favorite segments, a good old segment, so let's get to it. Let's get to the one of the favorite segments of the show. How do I do this again? You were doing fine, I don't know why you repeated eight times. I got nervous.

I fucking had the sense out of your mouth. And you just kept saying it. Why did you keep saying it? I got nervous. I got nervous. Hi. Alright, so it's, uh, I'm you keep saying it? I got nervous. I got nervous. All right, so let's go right now to one of our favorite segments of the, you know what, did podcast? Tech talk.

Bobby and Joe. I don't know how I feel about that day. I didn't know. All right. So Joe, what do you got this week for Tech Talk at the end of the podcast, our favorite segment? Well, I'm gonna talk some apps. I got on my phone here didn't know. All right. So Joe, what do you got this week for tech talk at the end of the podcast on Fagrid segment? Well, I'm gonna talk some apps. I got on my phone here, just a couple quick ones.

My fitness pal, which, you know, Bobby and I, which is not me. Which is not me. No secret on this podcast that Bobby and I are what you'd call foodies, and have both enabled each other with bad eating habits and also tried to help each other with eating habits. And I tried, I've been trying desperately to get on some sort

of a diet that makes sense for me. The problem I have, and there's the primalotic, traveling people run into, is if you go on weight watchers or the South Beach or whatever it is, you might not always have access to the things you need for that diet. You might not have your point system with you when you have to eat it at fucking McDonald's

and you're going, I don't know what I'm doing right now. Am I going way off my chart or whatever? Or you might say, I have to eat some carbs right now because it's been the only off, what does that mean for my diet? I found this thing called my fitness pal, it's just a calorie counter. So if you're the kind of person that can lose weight

from just counting calories, it's right in your phone. There's a database of foods. You go in, you tell it what you need to lose, you tell it how much exercise you're gonna do or not do. What your lifestyle is, all that stuff. And then you type into your diary every day and you go and lunch boom and then there's a search engine and you say you know You can you fuck I had an egg McMuffin whatever and it'll tell you exactly how many calories you ate what your daily Allowances and you just count and try to stand at that fucking number that max number

So it's a great little it's a great little tool that essentially does What the Weight Watchers Diet sort of would do, except accounting calories instead of points. And that's it, you know, I thought I had another one I wanted to talk about, but I mean, that really is the one I want to push this week. So, right, my fitness pal, check it out. Great, man. I actually have an app like that too.

I, of course, I don't use it as we fucking, you can look right now and say, but I used to have, I have the Weight Watcher's app on here. And there was another good one that somebody used, and I think those apps are good because if you, you can actually, if you can actually do it, if you can go on your phone, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, add up the calories and check out what the hell you're eating. If you know what you're eating, it helps. I had

one called lose it on iPhone. So it actually tells you how much something is. So you can say, I want to bagel. And you can put in your weight, your age, how much weight you want to lose and how much time. And it will tell you how many calories you eat for the day. Right. So you have, you know, 1500 calories for today. And as you eat, you add stuff to it. Like I had a bagel. Okay, there's 500, 400 calories. Right.

A blob of blood. And it keeps, and it says you're done. Right. And then if you work out, you can add 45 minutes of walking on a treadmill. And it will add food back on. Right. So now you can go home and have another 500 calories.

Right. So those, those actually work. When you use them. It's great. it's great. And the other thing I like about the calorie counting approach too is, you know, like for instance, with something like Weight Watchers, it's great, but you know, maybe you go and eat a fucking

Whole Foods Brownie. You don't know what the fuck's in it. And then you're going to Weight Watchers and typing in Whole Foods Brownie, it's not coming up. You're like, I don't know what you're with this brownie at in it. With this, you can just go, the fucking not coming up. You're like, I don't know what you're with this brownie. I didn't, with this you could just go, the fucking label said it was 100 calories.

So I know. It take off the 100 calories. You know, so anyway. That's good. I will, my, my addition of tack talk. Bobby and Joe, you actually sang it that time, Joe. I sang it every time.

You go tack talk. It's supposed to sound more like tones. Like what do you mean? Then a melody. It's supposed to be like boom, boom, boom, boom, like the NBC thing. Tag talk. Yeah.

With Bobby Joe. That's right, I don't like that part of it. It turns into a song. We need somebody to make a fucking song, God damn it. I'll make it. So we make a song. All right, so here you go. My thing is we did the live podcast, which was phenomenal, but Blue microphone and

the syndicate actually hooked us up with unbelievable microphones. They hooked us up with the core EN core 100s and an EN core 200, which is the one I'm using now and the EN core 100 is the one you're using right now. Okay. So unbelievable microphones. If you're going to do a podcast, I think the place to go. I started out at Blue Microphone. I started out with a Yeti. The Yeti Microphone, very cheap microphone. I think it's 100 and something bucks now. If you're doing a microphone with you and another person, perfect.

Travel microphone, you plug it in, it's USB, right into a garage band, it picks up, and it has three microphones, you can pick up one person, two people, a whole room of people. And the actual, when you're doing a podcast, when you start upgrading to like what we're doing, we moved on to these,

the 100s, they're called the Encore I would imagine Ian COR right E Encore you mean on core on core. Yeah that Is that I spell on yeah, I spell on core Ian COR. Yeah, but there's a there's a spring in the middle. There's like a star That's Probably on I would assume it's on core. All right. I mean, I know you're probably right, but there's a little There's a thing. There's a little symbol in between the EN and the core. That's just their thing I don't know that they're doing the spice it up, but I mean sometimes you mess up here on

Tech with Bobby and Joe How you like it? I don't like it. Okay, here we go. So if you're gonna upgrade your podcast You want to get some cool condenser microphones get the core 100 core 200 their cheap microphones They're not too expensive and they're really good. They have all kinds of cool microphones at blue Mike dot com make sure you go to blue mic dot com check out those microphones. Thank you again for giving up those mics That's it, dude. We're done with tech talk with Bobby and John I'll see you later Hey, you're fair that you know what dude podcast with us three things you can do to prove that number one go to iTunes

Subscribe and leave a review not just any any review, leave a five-star holy shit fuckin' squat-cut, wow review. Write it down on a piece of paper before you even post it to make sure it's wow holy shit fuckin'. And number two, go to the Robert Kelly Page on Buy a Cast and hit the donate button. You can donate a dollar, you can donate five million dollars, it doesn't matter. And you know what, you don't have to donate anything if you don't have the cash. This shit's free and it always will be. But we do appreciate all the people who donated so far because it's made this podcast

better and better every week. And number three, go to riotcast.com and check out all the other podcasts. There's nine of them. If you like podcasts, there's no need to go anywhere else but riotcast.com I'm stuck in the bottom of the bottom You know what I'm dead I miss my son, I miss my son You know what I'm dead Really, really, really, really

You know what I'm dead Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,