Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Jim Norton, Zac Amico | Chipping

Episode Date: February 27, 2022

This week Zac Amico and Jim Norton join Bobby Kelly to trade tales of boyhood hijinks, childhood trauma, and how extra weight can affect your performance! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la edición especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de mao, a Madrid. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3 por uno en medianas a domicidio solo pidiendo al line. ¿Sabes para? 3 por uno, 3 por uno,icidios solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah no no no. ¡Dominos!

Pizzah! Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caisha Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitalo desde el móvil 4 a través de tu gestor, informa tencaishabank.es. Caisha Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Informa que hay Chabank.es. Chabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. The idea of podcasting The fact that YKW did podcast YKW did back again Old school back in the day

We're all starting before them all YKW did podcasting so fun and crazy And there's no rules Shut up, you're ruining this Work the more damn I'm sorry It's a comedy podcast This is an NPR That's the podcast done

Is there any better show? This is an NPR. That's the Tarkantum. Is there any better show? This is the original original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original.

This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original.

This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. This is the original. up. Fuck us. Oh, I'm going to be great if I just did that and grabbed my chest. That was the last YKWD. What's up, everybody? How are you doing? Robert Kelly here.

Thanks for being a part of this. Again, live in the Patreon. Again, and watching on YouTube. If you're watching on YouTube, it's Sunday. It's free day. It's love day on Monday, and just subscribe. That's all we ask. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.

Dude, you gotta give it away free, dude. That's how you become fucking huge, like fucking Andrew Schoetz, dude. You give it away, dude. Well, it's free on Sundays. And live taping is Patreon only. And that's what you guys are watching right now. So I wanna thank all the Robert Kelly, about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about.

I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about.

I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm very excited to be back in the studio. I always hate, like today I was like, oh, fuck, I want to go home. And then when these banks go hot, something just happens. And I got a great show tonight. I'm so excited. One of my favorite people in the world is here. Oh, Bobby, you shouldn't have.

What's you? Oh, I was told you were sending me. Yeah, you know, low self-esteem fatty. He wants you. I like Zach and me, come man. I've always liked him. Yeah, you know self esteem fatty. He wants you. I like Zach Amiko, man. I've always liked him. And he's here. Thank you for having me, Bob.

Yeah, dude, I fucking love you. And we got a very special guest, of course. Patreon people know this. Jim Norton is coming up. We're texting him right now. He's doing a spot down stairs. You texting him, Nikki? Yeah.

That's new Nikki. Thank you. And Russell, jokes, Russell, you're here? I'm here. He talking to to the mic you fucking stick at this I mean he can just lean over Joe. Are you there? How'd you like that crowd? How'd you look did you like him? Yeah, yeah, okay for me really why I don't know I'm very dirty. It's not I'm dirty too Okay, I'm very dirty. It's not, I'm dirty too. Okay, I lack confidence.

Design. I don't know what it is. There's something you can say, I used to watch a tell and he would do the craziest shit. Like I'd go up, it's a mental thing. You can say a certain thing, I don't know if it's a trick, but let's just say tricks, right?

I don't know if it's a trick, but let's just say tricks, right? I don't know if it's a trick. But you can say certain things to prep them to be able to take in whatever you're gonna tell them. You know, like, uh, who's it? Robert Shimmel, number him. You ever see his act? Yeah. Not that dirty. No. But when he did Vegas, triple X show at the RIV. Why? To trick people into thinking that this is gonna be really bad. Okay. And then when they went in, they got no complaints. And it packed out. He had the great, he had the stinky pussy joke, right?

Yeah. Oh, I love the stinky pussy. She's not home. Can we bring up Shemals to stinky pussy joke place? It was about for his son, seeing from Dustel Dawn. Yeah, dude, They tricked them triple X They thought they were gonna see Dex going into frickin vagina's But then he just did a regular rated r-set and it was paladal paladal paladable How do you say that paladable paladable paladable?

So yeah, you got it like I have a joke about fucking having my dick inside of vagina and how it's the greatest feeling just on earth for a man. It's just like one of the the only thing I compared compared to is having the movie going no credits the first scene as you open the hot box of pizza and have a slice in your mouth. And you literally hear the first lines of dialogue as you take the first bite is the only feeling I can compare to of like oh my god this is the most perfect amazing thing ever. I would have said when you hear a band play one of your favorite songs when you're just starting a trip. Okay, I've never tripped I haven't tripped since I was like 12 13

But I didn't trip trip. I just took a pill. I didn't know what the fuck it was But yeah, it's fucking great. You just I said this is gonna be I don't know how to put this It's a little so sorry and they're with you. It's weird. You just gotta do that shit with your act. I watch you, you fucking doing great. I think there's the first time being in that room. Yeah. That's it.

People don't, you know, stage confidence is a whole thing. You know, like if you don't have stage confidence in that stage, I remember doing the, I would not do the seller for a long time and come back on a Saturday night and everybody's just tearing it up and I would bomb because that my seller stage confidence was who were gone. Joe used to not do as good as he does now, but you know, he's got that confidence being there. You know, I was just super happy to finally get up there.

So like, you know, that meant a lot, thank you. Oh, good, fuck it. I'll be back. No, I love you, dude. I think you're fucking hilarious. That means a lot, man. Um, anyways, this weird tripping. I would love to trip.

I think my days are behind me now. What do you mean? I went on a tear during the pandemic, and my wife sat me down and went, did we did, by way, she meant me. So we just did mushrooms three times this week, and I went, yeah, you're right, we got to pull the plug off of that.

Really? Yeah. What does a lot, what do mushrooms do? First of all, tell me what type of mushrooms you're talking about. Can you find, I got a lot of questions. Yeah. Can you just go out in the woods and find these fucking things?

And when you take them, is it just one kind or is it many kinds? And different kinds do different things. It's just, it's just magic mushrooms. So there's just one? Yeah. I would not go in the woods, because I don't know mushrooms very well, and you might eat poison.

Yeah, so you want a certain kind that I know people grow. I think they actually grow, they grow them in pig poop. It really. Sometimes. What do they look, can you bring them up? I want to see what they look like. They look like long stems usually with smaller caps. A long stem with a small cap.

Yeah. That's the one thing about mushrooms is they're so fucking similar. Yeah. And it's just like, yeah, you don't need that one. Why? See that red dot? What? This one will take you to another planet.

That one will fucking put you in the ground. And you used to smoke pot when you before you got to smoke, right? I smoked a lot of weed. So I would compare a mushroom trip to being wildly high, but with visuals and like, there's more to it. And I'm recovering alcohol and drug addict. But alcohol sucked for me because it was just violence. Is that it?

I've seen it. Dude, I've seen those in my backyard. It's not the same ones. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Dude, I cut those in my weed wacker. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure.

That's the one. Where do they grow? In Pakepoop at Drug Dealers' House. That's the one. Ha ha ha ha ha. Nicole, where can you find those in the wild? I'm gonna look that up. The wild? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's pretty mild. You just more get euphoria. What the fuck? But once you go deep, you can go, you can go places. Where, where, where, and talk to me like, I mean, I don't like doing it at concerts or whatever,

mostly. Why? Because I feel like I look around and everyone knows. It's like a paranoia. You're like, everyone knows them on us. And like, everybody knows. Everybody knows your highs. Zach, everybody knows.

Uh-huh. That you're doing mushrooms. But if I you're high right now, no, I'm sober right now. Is it? Are you high? But I was doing that. And I was doing an exosy a lot over the pandemic. And I was combining them.

And it was getting. It was getting. What does that do? All right, exosy is a love you drug, right? Yeah. And this is a few fork drug. Yeah. And I was doing that.

And then I would put a record on and I kept. Okay, the only thing I did you see get out. Yeah, you know when they fall into the couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was doing that 20 times a night where I would fall in and I would see like fractals of the music. What? Like it looked like old-timey screen savers. Yeah.

And but it would be to the music and I would like have all these great visuals. And then I would pop off and be like old-timey screen savers. Yeah. But it would be to the music, and I would like, have all these great visuals, and then I would pop off, be like, oh, you're here again. And I would go, going back, and then I would just lay back, and I would feel myself go again, and it would be for hours. It was great. You liked that. And me and my poor wife has to get up at six,

teach preschool. And you said, I'm blasted in quarter of the Crimson Kagan living room. Yeah. You have to wake up at three to meet Lewis to do a dumb podcast. You have to yell. I have to yell the N word to Lewis at four o'clock. Jesus Christ.

Dude, I remember one time I got so high that I was, I was, I was, I was, I just remember me going down the street going, I was a fighter plane. Hell yeah. I was just going, I was just going, I was a fighter plane. Hell yeah. And I was just going, I was just going, I was fighting in the war. And I was, I was,

I was, In my friend punched me in the chest. Oh no. Because he was so, like, he kept going enough, enough. And I was like, okay, okay.

And I just kept, it was, I felt like I was in the plane fighting this war. And I remember, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, yeah, I did this one. I got, I think it was the same time. It might have been a different time because it was so long ago. But I remember I was, there he is, what's up, Jimmy! I'm in the show with you. It's okay, I don't worry about it. Jim Norton, everybody, Mr. Jim, he's gonna be leaving, he's got a dinner appointment tonight. Yeah.

But he'll be hanging with us. We're just talking about he, Jim Norton, everybody. You know, Zach, of course, he was on the show, yeah, this morning, right? Um, dude, about tripping. I know it's weird because we're sober, but you know, he's talking about he did mushrooms during the pandemic and ecstasy and he was just falling into his couch. Oh, that's what I call my wife. No, I can't, did you see Get Out? I did.

You know when he goes into the chair, when she's... Yes, I vaguely remember that. I kept doing that and then I would see fractals of the music I was listening to. And it was for hours, it was so much fun. Oh, you liked it. I loved it. I was always scared of stuff like that. People always afraid I would have a bad trip.

Guys I did drugs with would never... Mesclins as far as I got, but any type of psychedelic, I'd like, don't do it. My number one rule is turn your phone off because I get terrified of the phone. That's something I'm gonna get bad news and I'm gonna be tripping. So I have to turn my phone off and put it away.

When I did drugs, like pills and stuff like that and weed, they're the phone in the kitchen So you don't have to worry about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, I used to call him bomb threats though, but the old I don't have high school. I was drunk. Why would you do the high school out? Oh you clear your story. Yeah, yeah, yeah There's a ball. I was so terrible. I've told the story before what do you mean? I was trying to I was trying to convince him that there was a bomb Chase always call like these nuns and tell them I was being molested They were like these uh, but that's true. Yeah Mom and I was it was me my friends were laughing, sorry, but I you know, I called and I said There's a bomb in the gym and if you think this is a joke then start laughing. I was a fucking cool fine

Now it's a fucking horrible, but they cleared the high school out I cleared the school what did you what did you say start laughing if you think this is joke and start laughing my my friend growing up had a special needs cousin who would prank on his friends with him my cousin was friends with him. My cousin. I got it. I'm special. The special needs the

the fatter I get the more the closer I looked to special needs at sucks doesn't it? Yeah. Special needs and then there was a retarded lady that lived across the street from me. I lived on a live.

Oh, community for a tardy. Under a fucking. I lived on a one way street. Whenever cars would go the wrong way way this retarded lady would come out and chase him with her purse and He would prank call her and record it and let us have them And it was one retarded person prank calling another Yeah, and then they would like switch roles because she would start calling back mad really And I just remember one time he's like that that's the police. And she goes, no, it's King Tut. And they started arguing over who was pranking her. And it was so beautiful. Well, did she know him? No. And he didn't know

her. They, I mean, they had met in light. She didn't know who it was. He was, he was, he was a beautiful soul. Did you guys use to drive around and yell shit at people? Oh God, yeah. No. No, what do you mean? You just drive around and yell shit at people. I was in the car window. Anything, yeah.

I never did that. And you know, you yell at women, whatever. And we're with. Nice to throw a piss cups at people. What the fuck? Throw them out the way. Why? We use a new piss pucks.

What the piss pucks, what's that? That's where you piss a little bit in a dixie cup and freeze it. So then you can put it in people's mail slots and it melts. And the next day they're like, how did somebody piss inside my house? That's a lot of preparation. Yeah, but I mean, it was just I was drunk. It was spur of the moment. It's a piss production team.

We were driving around yelling at people and the kid was with us, Jimmy. And he was, I want to try one. This is by the way, it just is just my lowest voice now. I had years to practice. We're going to try one. We're like, yeah, sure, man, you can yell at people. And there was an old, old man sitting on a bench. And this kid just sticks his giant head out the car window and goes, die already old man. I think that's a pretty good heckle. That's a pretty good fucking heckle. I'd laugh if I heard that too.

I didn't do that. We used to just fight. Well, we would fight. You allowed it. That's Boston anger. No, it's just, we didn't yell shit out. If you yelled something out of window, you'd catch a beating.

But that's what you're driving. Like, yeah, I got you. Yeah, but we used to just fight. We never yelled shit. I don't know why. I mean, it'd catch a beating. But that's what you're driving, like, yeah. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, but we used to just fight, like, we never yelled shit. I don't know why. I mean, it sounds, believe me, I would have rather yelled. I was not a fighter, dude. I used to be with guys that were tough and it sucked.

Because they'd be like, let's go. And I'd be like, where? Like eating a sandwich, just happy. We're going to fucking fuck with those guys. I'd be like, why? I just got my sandwich. There was a kid. None of us really knew, but he was in our school.

And he lived at the bottom of the hill. I grew up in C-Cluckus, right outside of the city. There was a bottom of the hill. An entire front of his house was Bay Windows. The entire front of the house was glass. And we realized that if you went down the hill with your high beams on, it lit up his whole house and woke his parents up. So we started doing it every fucking night

at two in the morning. That's funny. We're going to, this guy's his name was Danny Alame. And we're, let's go, let's go wake up Danny Alame. His family. And we was just punk and scream and light up his house. And one day he comes up to us, he's like, guys, my parents are so upset.

Police thought he was like, I don't even know you guys. I don't know what I did. How do you know it was you? Because we started, it started to be the point where there was like seven cars in night doing it. So one night we go to do it.

We go to do it and I punch my friend Corey the arm and I point in this three cop cars on the other side of the house waiting for us. And we just went, right around the corner and then we just started calling people, do not go to Danny Alabama. A few years later, we're all back home for Thanksgiving. Please tell me you did this.

And we're having a few drinks. And I look at my buddy, I go, you're gonna wake up Danny Alabama. He's family. He goes, hell yeah. Five cars get a row. He's poor fucking Indian family. Busca, because for years, nobody must have done it.

They must believe in aliens. But if you get- They've come to a house. If you hit the high beams, you can see inside the whole house. That's hilarious. It must have been in raging. Why do they put curtains up? I have no idea.

But the whole house, you can see inside the whole house. A bay when, I don't think you're putting it. Yeah, you think you're not. They're waking you up with fucking beams of house. A bay when, I don't know if you could put it. Yeah, you figured out it's a waking you up with fucking beams of light, you put curtains up. Oh, we used to take, we had a one way street with cars on both sides of it and we would wait, like at 12 at night, we'd wait.

And then as a car was coming down, someone would scream down and we'd pick up a car and pull it out, the front of it out into the street to block the street. And the other way, there was another 10 kids up the end. And as soon as the car went by, we'd pull another car out on the other side. So they couldn't get out. There was no way for them to get out. There was just two cars blocking them and they had to beep their horn.

And then the people would come out, whose car is it was? And they'd be like, how the fuck did this happen? It just didn't make sense. Because someone would have to whose cars it was. And they'd be like, how the fuck did this happen? It just didn't make sense. Cause someone would have to pick your car up. And to pick a car up takes like 10 kids. To swing it out. It was so fucking funny man. And then they wouldn't know how to,

they wouldn't know how to, like park it, like get it back. It took like 30 minutes to figure it out. Woo, we were dickheads man. We used to stale cars too. We used to hang out in front of the Alexander store. It was like an Italian dally, Alexander's. And we just stay, we wait for people,

because people would just, these dudes would just run in to get something. I'm going in to get my paper and coffee or whatever, and they leave their car running with the keys. And we just, we'd be sitting out front just hanging. So it was a car pulled up, a guy running. We just, as he's walking in, we'd be sitting up front just hanging so it was a car pulled up a guy running We just just as he's walking in we'd be walking into his car Just confidently get into his car and take off for the night or you know, no, just for like 25 minutes 30

We just ride around. He's wanted to fuck we had enough you know stand. There was no Xbox There was no TV there was no channels you only had kids stuff on a fun on a Saturday That just freaks me out because because that's such a prison sentence. It's grand theft auto. I know. We used to drive down to Spicer Field at Tufts College. That park that we used to hang out in. We used to do it.

When we did it, we knocked down the soccer poles. The football soccer poles were kind of like, we just knocked them down, they were wood. And we hit in this guy's car, it was a really teetops, Monte Carlo tip, I don't know what the fuck it was, really nice. And we're flying, doing donuts in the field. And we were going to go right through the thing at the last minute, Mikey, Mikey Dott's

just grabbed the wheel and pulled it and we slammed into a steel, they replaced him with a steel, we were going to fucking dead. It would have cut the car in. We were in fucking dead. It would have cut the card half. That's fucking bad. It was great. We just ran out of the car. We just got out and just took it.

That's okay. I got charged with Grand Theft when I was 15. Really? I thought my life was over. I thought I was like done. And it was so dumb. Me and my friend saw a fucking golf cart from the school. That's Grand Theft.

They said it was worth over $5,000. Total lie. Yeah. And I got charged with a burglary and Grand Theft. Wow. And I thought my life was fucking over. My first one I thought one time. Oh no. When I was a kid, I found a bike and I hopped on it. I took it down to street. It was crazy. This week I'm my KWD. The crazy true stories of Jim Norton. Every time I come home late for curfew. What happened? She raised holy heck. My mom was peeled. The first time I got arrested I pulled an all-nighter my first all-nighter. Yeah, he was 11 to 12

They came knocking on my door Tony Quint the chick I was dating Quint Quint. Oh, is there any Connie? Tony. Oh, Tony. I thought it was No, yeah, I was calling good They got a little code. I want you're not going dickin' an alley I'm going good. I'm going to fuck you up. I'm going to fuck you up. I'm going to fuck you up.

I'm going to dick it an alley. Um, no, she was a mlot of chick. I loved her to death, but she wanted to fuck in my friend, Dickie, and in front of the rectory where my grandmother worked, the rectory is where the priest lived. She fucked her in the bushes. He fucked her in the rectory. He fucked her in the bushes in the front. Like, what you're going to do with the rectory? She worked at the, she took care of the priest. She fucked her in the bushes in the front. Like, he was walking. What you're gonna do with the right.

She worked at the, she took care of the priests. She ironed the clothes, made them lunch. She cleaned up, Dickie's come. He's gonna do it. She'd stitch up all the boys. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it.

He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it.

He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. He's gonna do it. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer.

I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I hate it a little lawyer. I he gets a little crazy sometimes, but he has five dollars, go get yourself a night scream. Butterfly stitches, get butterfly kiss. You know what I mean? I remember we went, we were pulling it all nighter, and you at like, now an all nighter isn't a big deal to me,

but I hope not, you're 50. What do you think you're being rebellious? Doing a Pepsi six yesterday. It does go cares. It does go back to the way though. As you get older, all night it was like a fun thing. It's always harder to do now, but I just thought it was like a cool factor.

I'm not gonna stay up all night. No, no, no, I'm not. I ignore my kid the whole next day. No, it is getting harder to do, but when I was 12, staying up all night, you think it's gonna be fun. But it's like, oh, come on. You used to be able to drive all night from gigs. Yeah.

Yeah, now it's a lot harder. It's so hard. Yeah, we ripped off a canteen track. We came across a canteen. Like just the middle of the night, we were literally walking around for hours, looking for shit to do. But after like one, two, it's really lonely on the streets.

And we were just, we found this canteen, we stole four cartons of cigarettes and like twinkies of some shit. And they, I don't know how they caught us, but they caught us. And then me and Connie had got back together that night after her fucking Diggie.

And then we wound up going to the police station. She ratted us out. She told the cops everything. She said it was my idea. Diggie's idea. Why? Because she's a fucking, I don't know. I should have known when she fucked Diggie.

What cops do is they isolate the kids and they basically tell them you're gonna be fun What happened to me was it was like a big group of us Yeah, and two of the kids were brothers and they brought the brothers in together And they flipped on everybody. Yeah, that's yeah, they did the same thing to me the last time I got arrested in Rochester, New York I was hanging out with like two of the toughest kids in that town and They came into me like did you rob the store? I was like, no, I don't know you're nothing. And I don't know what you're talking about.

And like, look at me, I'm gonna be one of those shots to tell us the truth. It's gonna help you if not, you're going away tonight. I was like, nope, because I'm being like, I'm thought there's a code. He goes, all right, he opened the door and those two did you crying? I've never seen like, it was his idea.

And then he was just ratting me out. I went to jail that night. They went home fucking assholes. Yeah, I was I was facing I want to say four years when I was 16 for drugs. I was yeah, I was with a guy and he had a he had a reaper stick. I really believe him. And the uh, the fuzz won him. Tell him what I got. He got that reaper stick. I'm a throw up. Yeah.

Just like where did he get the Mary Jane son? Oh, fuck me. It was maybe a few. I thought he had me. He had me stomach bitch. It is weird though, but you didn but you never had any of that trouble, but you still wound up fucked up. Yeah, you know.

I mean, we're like, what happened to you? Like, what made you get your shit together? Like, if you didn't have any, like, you know, my bottom was, you know, 15, Ray J. I wish, my bottom was being one. I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish. I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish. I was being one. I love that you punched up his joke.

Such a better joke. Rape. What was your me implying that you were being brutally sat on my phone though? Yeah. As for your fans, I like that. It's hilarious. What we, I don't want to say what was your bottom? What happened to you that you were, I never asked you that.

What got me better was I got into a relationship. I married the lady comedy. It, oh. Is that what, oh, is this silly little suicide attempt and then the other guys over here? Oh, there you go. So you you tried to you tried to whack yourself. Yeah. How? There's all attention. What did you do?

That emo cutter. You cut yourself? Yeah. Oh, you're an emo cutter? Yeah, I did a lot, but it's embarrassing now. I was embarrassed. Just look at them and like those were all show wounds. Yeah, they were.

I wasn't trying for anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you do it? Do you ever do that? No, I tried with I didn't try, but there's a few times where I looked at what I did that night after being drunk. And I was like, I tried. Yeah, I think this many years ago,

and my very like early 20s, like 20, 30 sleeping pills, wow, with booze. And then just woke up a day and a half later Just handled it down for yeah, unfortunately, that's fucking I've never tried to kill myself and I've never had the thought I've never had the like I should kill because I know you're thinking now, too. Yeah, I know you're gonna say before you say it Yeah, I got you're gonna say before you say it. Yeah. I got a collective sigh of disappointment. Exactly. Everybody listening to him.

Oh. I don't know what that is. Not in your makeup, huh? It's not in your makeup. It's not in my makeup. It's not in my makeup. But you didn't, you tried to kiss up, but not really, right? Yeah, I mean, I wanted to, but I didn't want to,

you know, I wanted it to happen, but I didn't want, I wasn't ready. Did you use an eraser blade? Yeah. Really? Yeah. And did you like did you have to go to the hospital? I did one. Yeah. Oh you did it more than once. Oh yeah. Were you home? Yeah. What did your parents say? They knew I was a little drinker. Little I was after school special. What do you mean? Like you know the afterschool specials the boy who's Here's one simple whiskey and he's like throwing the bottle at the wall. Yeah, I was a I'm deep man I was very violent. You know, but it was all myself. Yeah, it's just crazy We were you alone a lot. No, I mean I've not had a lot of friends. You had a lot of friends

Yeah, it just brought out the uglier Party of the person you know it is. I mean it just brought out the uglier party of the person. You know what it is. I mean, it just brings out the uglier. Everybody has different, a different recipe though. So like Jim, I remember from years ago, listen, I mean, you used to get drunk and just piss all over your friend's bathroom. That was my friend. Like I'm a faucet and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess. That's payish behavior. It is. Normal drunks don't do that. I, I, I, whizzed all over his, I was giggling to all over his fucking handles, all over the fucking sink in the mirror. You did? Yeah, that's the same guy I put cat shit in his father's newspaper. That's my favorite.

Why? So I wanted his dad to get home after a hard day's work. Then open the newspaper. And he did, he probably had to have a cat shit fall on him. Really? Still one of my favorite things ever. This is still very proud of myself. What happened?

I don't know. I was just thinking I'd have beat the shit falling on me. Really? Still one of my favorite things ever. This is still very proud of myself. What happened? I don't know. I was just thinking I have beat the shit out of the cat. I hope so. Yeah. Yeah, I never did any of that shit. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't. I mean, it sounds way better than the shit that I did. I used to get into fights a lot and get beat up a lot. That sucked. I had to get beat up. Yeah, it sucked. Yeah, it sucked. but it was weird because, I remember the first time I got really beat up bad

by four guys and I didn't cry. And I was so proud of myself that I was just blood head to toe. And I was just like, I didn't cry. It was like a milestone for me because all the times before that, I would always want to be crying. And I felt like I finally, that was your man barrier.

It was like a Vin Diesel in that movie, 500, 500 farts. And then you were man, and then you were bad at the time. That's five hundred pounds. Oh, you don't see that line? It's one of the fucking greatest worse lines in any movie. Oh. He walks up to the guy,

oh, yuck. And he goes, yeah, for me it's 500, but that's my weight. I need to, I'm going back on the whole 30. Yeah, he walked up, he goes, what is it? 500.

He goes 500, what? Because it's stupid. Yeah, he goes 500 street fights. That's what I figure you have to do before you call yourself a real tough guy. It's no one has 500 street fights. No one. que es lo que me hace que te lo hiciste antes de que te coge a la verdad. No es una de los 500 Street Fights, no es. No es. Me voy a traer a la baya.

Porque he traído a los dos. Y me voy a bajar y traer a los dos. Si, si, si, si, si... ¿Pues que has contenido gratis? ¡I want to be free! Fluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con más de 120 canales dedicados a películas, series, gremene, realities y contenido infantil. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca.

Yo lo amo el UFC. Cuando me abro de mi visita de therapist, me abro de mi UFC 1-120 para ver el mejor. Cuando me abro de mi vida, y las personas que me han llegado a ver, ¿qué es tu style de FC one through 20 to watch the best during when I was doing like rehab on my life. Yeah. And guys would come out and say, what's your style of fighting barbrowing? Yeah. Yeah. And they would just get other than tank, never really went well.

Do you ever see the guy who fought Holy Shracing with the boxing one boxing glove on? Yes. It's one of the fucking greatest things to ever watch. I love no rules. He's got one boxing glove on. Yeah. He's a boxer and he thought he would go in and just KO people With the glove and these guys have no gloves which KOs people worse. Yeah, having a 12 ounce here at 12 ounce Muhammad Ali glove big thing weighing his hand down

Oh, you can't rip with you know you can't grip and he's fighting hoys crazy like the fucking anaconda And he just grabs Just taps out. You remember we met him at yeah forget what you have see that one hundred was it one hundred we had Dana's seats Up high and he kept setting you know read Harris was bringing people over read Harris I love read rampage Jackson He brought over he did a fucking he was mean mungunus. He brought hoist grace you. I don't have those photos I got him can I have I saw a picture today of you in Kormie. Do you have that? No, I'll give it to you I saw you have a more of you in Nate DS

We interviewed Nate you and me and you interviewed Nate DS together We interviewed Nate. You and me and you interviewed Nate, D.S. together. I found a bunch of those photos. Today I was looking through an old hard drive and it was all these old... AKA the Leonic evidence. He did it. You do it.

Yeah, once in a while you go back and you just make sure. I've known, he called me once and, hey dude, how do you get rid of a hard drive? I was like, just throw it out. No, no, no, like for good. Like how can I get rid of this? I was like, what are you talking about? I consolidated everything.

It's like, you do that a lot. I do, yeah, because you want to want all in a nice, bigger one. And, you know, there's nothing, there's really nothing scandalous. Let's see me doing a couple of sexual things. Are you videotape yourself? A little bit, yeah.

What are you talking, you do? Yeah, I have, I mean, not often, but I come up with something. Like, jerking off? No, no, no, with a getting blown. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you never want to, no, no, with a getting blown. Oh, with a, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you never want to.

You got to kick them off your phone. Oh, you do it on your phone? Yeah, you can't leave it on your fucking phone. It's too, you know, I lose my phone. Yeah, I don't, I haven't done that in a long time either. Yeah, I mean, either, but I still have a couple. I've never seen the equalization app for the fake sound app. No.

There's, I don't want to rat anybody out, but somebody, somebody who works at a comedy club showed me on his phone. He's got it says audio EQ and it's a little icon, right? And you click it and there's, you know, treble bass. They each have a number. When you set it to the right number, it's a lock and it opens up an extra picture and video folder that doesn't go to the rest of your phone.

Wow. But here's the thing. Can I say something? You can. My phone is so embedded in my family now and in my house. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So that when I, if I took a, if you sent me a photo or a, a chick sent me a photo over a fucking cunt and I wait a cool it up. Sorry. It's a hot wet. Or what kind of cunt I like, don't you? What you do is you like, gun, you have such a weird word choice. You know, if a girl says me a photo of her content,

I'm sorry. Her vagina. If a girl says me a photo of her stint wrinkle, and I download it, it immediately goes like If a girl sends me a photo of her stank wrinkle And I download it it immediately goes like on my TV It goes up it goes to the Alexa which I mean one day I wish I could find this photo We're looking on the TV and the Alexa's on and it's on the TV and it's doing this rotation and it looks like a guys It looks like from behind a guy with his balls tucked back and his ass hall and

Darmann Bobby and Max is literally on his iPad and the TV is right there. And he's just, she was Bobby. I go, what? And I went, I don't know what I'm trying to take a look. Did I fuck a dude? Like, why don't I have, but it was just, I took a picture of my tits. It was just my neck and tits Look like a guy's ass hole in balls if I do it right

I wish I I didn't know you wanted those photos. I have so many of them I was one of the greatest thing times in my life. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I got you at Hawaii. So I got you with a bunch. Oh, yeah, there's us interviewing. That's Nate He's fucking wow. Yeah. Oh, you can see it. That's back in the day Wait, that's when you didn't even like you were good. Who's that guy? Yeah, I didn't know a lot of the fighters I know the world. I watched but I didn't know we had jujude to Santos. We met that we get he wasn't champion Now you know you know fucking ten times more than me Roy Nelson is a lot of guys Frank Meir is a whole bunch of guys. We did Rose's husband Oh, papari yeah, yeah. Pat Barrier, yeah.

He was great. Yeah, he was fun. I think he's the first fighter I interviewed there with Pat Barrier. I loved him. We were in the back room. That was the greatest time in my life and almost one of the worst times in my life

because I remember we were in the back. We were being treated so. I've never been treated that amazing. The only thing, I guess when I was on a TV show and I was on an FX show, you got treated like amazing. The only thing I guess when you know when I was on a TV show and I was on that FX show you got treated like that but these guys treated Norton so good and I just happen to be with them. So I was getting the same treatment as Norton it was fucking incredible and I remember it was the best thing ever and then the worst thing ever because I remember I went backstage and Rogan popped out and I was like I was so so excited to see Rogan. And remember that and he came out and he looked at me

and he goes, what happened to you? I don't remember. I was just like, what happened? He didn't do it like mean, he didn't like concerned. Like, dude, what are you doing? You fucking, I was like, I don't know who I'm trying. I was just trying. Cause I had just lost weight.

So I feel like, yeah, you look good in that trip. I'm not sure. I felt good, but I was still having, here's the problem with being fat when you go up and down. Last time he saw me, I was like 190. I was great. I went way the fuck up. Then I came back down so to you,

I was like, Bobby's doing good. To him, I was like, what the fuck happened? Did I ever get into your picture with John Jones? Never. I got a picture with, I got Guida. You would, I be getting a picture of John Jones never? I got picture with I got a Guita you would Your eye a favor and click we did no I think I got them to sign a feed You've actually promised me this three times. I got you. I got John to sign you pick. Yeah, no, but I just I always bring him I know I know I'm not being a dig about it. I know I'll get him if I'm really want to self-atexed

Okay, right now that's how I remember things I never feel less like a man when you meet the UFC guys I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them.

I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them.

I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. I really want them. There's like leftover like caveman blood or like when you see Lesnar you're like oh that left over like Viking Remember we were in the back hallway Lesnar just beat the shmalled Frank me. I mean it was fucking and we were Literally the guy came and grabbed me and Jim. We jumped over Barry read to the back

Yeah, read grabbed us and we're in the back hallway as These two giants of the sport of walking by after the one of the biggest fights in the back hallway as these two giants of the sport are walking by after the one of the biggest fights in the history of UFC. And we're in the hallway. And I forget what I said to Frank. You said Frank, we said hello to Brock. I think he came through first. And I think when Frank, me,er walked through you and, uh,

hey, great job, Frank. You just gotten, and I look at us. I just, but I just felt Norton looking at me. I felt his, and I looked at him and he went, great job. He just got fucking mulled. Yeah. Yeah, and even Reed was like, I don't know what you,

why was he to the, Frank's like walking there. He was really, you could see he was just coming out of a tough loss great fucking fight Yeah, it was 20 fucking he had a horse shoes, and I ripped it out and I took it and stuck it right Right and he bashed the sponsor and he does yeah forget about cool and no bud light never gave me shit Cool slide you Right Brock was great. They made him apologize to that.

He can't fuck with the sponsors. No, that was fucking awesome. What a great time. Yeah, and you're the first one that we met John Jones. And you're like, he's going to be the champion someday. I know. He was not, he was ranked, but he wasn't, he was brand new. Yeah, brand new, younger.

I think that guy's giving me the champ. So good. That was the fucking bell. You ever go to a live event? Not you, I see, no. Oh new, younger guys, he made a champ. So good. That was the fucking bell. You ever go to a live event? Not USE now. Oh, they're great, man. They're fun. Yeah, I wonder, I mean, have you been to one sense?

Oh, yeah, I was at, I've been to quite a few. I was at, it was the fucking Amanda beating cyborg I was at that fight. I forget what the main event. I was at Rhonda, Misha. You were by Trump at the one? No, there's a picture of me in Trump. But that's why I'm a few,

you want it like me and Louis CK went to a boxing match. Okay, that's what it is. It was a Gennady Galovkin fight. And Trump sat like literally three seats over in front of me. And Chip was yelling at him. You gonna be Mr. President and he was screaming at it. Yeah, it's embarrassing. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah. You're gonna be Mr. President, and he was screaming it. Yeah, I was just, I'm back. That's what I was thinking.

Yeah. You like Chip? Chip is my son and moon and stars. I've ruined relationships with non-stop chipping. What do you mean non-stop chipping? I do know the house. I've done Chip to girls' parents without them knowing what I'm doing

because it makes me laugh. I just think I'm an asshole. What is your chip? You just fucking do it. He's fucking you riff with him. Yeah. He's fucking humor. Fuck yeah.

I told you this on Natalie Cuomo's podcast. I was over at a lady's house. Her husband wasn't home. They were both opium Anthony Fins. And she asked me for a massage. And it was going good. Like got the broth. And I made some joke and she's joking about blowing me.

And I just go for it. I take my deck out and she sees my deck ring and she goes, I'm going to chip a tooth on that. I go, what that? It's just, I am not blowing chip, chipper said that you put your shirt on angrily. I fucking hate him. Why would I- Uncle Paul was banned from my bedroom.

Dude, I'll wake up my wife. Uncle Paul was not allowed at my house. I literally just found, when I did four shows for Vice, four episodes, and we did a, and I hope I've never known that a two-on-call Paul sketches, and they were like, this is too much. It's not funny. And so the second one, they never let me air.

I just today found the raw footage of that shoot, which was all those scenes I did, Marina Franklin was in it, you were in it, they were very funny. I'm gonna try to find this photo. Will you please tell them what my role was in this thing? You were, Bob was dressed like a, he was dressed like a giant infant,

and he was supposed to be like an undercover cop. I like this thing, yeah. Yeah, he was holding a little rattle. Yeah, but I was, what was a baby vice? Yeah, I think so. You were very funny. But we were in public. They didn't tell the neighbors, like the neighborhood,

what we were doing. And we were just out, I was dressed in a diaper. Trying to find this fucking thing. Yeah, I have it at home if you don't know it, because I just found this stuff today. It's funny. Because I'm going through my closet consolidating stuff. I'm like an 18 terabyte heart.

You know, just to get, so you can take 10 things throw them out and put them on fucking one. Yeah, we know how to get rid of fucking illegal porn. I don't know. I don't have any illegal porn. I, uh, I can't. Why don't I give you a literal answer on that? I don't know. What a fucking asshole.

I have no idea. I don't have any. I can't find it. It's me and a diaper. It's me and a diaper. What a fucking asshole. I have no idea. I don't have any. I can't find it. It's me and a diaper. It's me and a diaper. It's very funny. But I had to arrest him.

He tried to suck him. So he's trying to. Oh yeah. I'm in a diaper with a bonnet and a fucking, I got a little, what a pacifier. And I'm arresting him, dressed as Uncle Paul. And every time I try to go put the cups on now people are walking by on the street in Brooklyn And he's trying to suck my dick a baby dick. So he's trying to blow a giant baby as I'm trying to rest him I'm like get up there and we're in

We're improving this whole scene. It was fucking crazy. It was really funny though I was funny, but I left and drama's like how was it? I was like it's this no I don't think they can air this. They didn't. This is pedophilia. This is like, no, you were an adult. It was just tasteless. But you didn't know that.

You thought it was a baby. But that was the joke of, yeah. Yeah, I know. The joke was, there's a guy trying to suck babies' dick. No, it was the guy who thinks this fight for the life of God. I love that, it's a baby. Yeah. I love that. I love, yeah, I love it. It's a baby. Yeah. I love the suckers, baby.

Yeah. I love how you reason this. Yeah. If I get it is hilarious, yeah, that you're like, no, no. I'll go Paul. Paul mistook you for a baby. My first day as a welder, my dad's a welder. I worked for a while.

My first day. I'm going to connect this. It's me, my dad and his truck, and another guy who starts telling us his life story. I don't know if you ever met Welders. It's a last-ditch effort job. It's the best job you can get with a criminal record. Oh, really?

And you meet wild people. Everyone's got multiple stints in jail. There's guys with us. Kind of look like Voss, and his name was George. And George starts telling us his life story. He was, oh yeah, it was cool. He'd get along with your dad. My mom kicked my dad out right after I was born.

And we go, oh, what happened? And he goes, as she walked in on him, trying to suck my deck. And it's just silence. And then, thank God, me and my dad have the same sense of humor. And my dad goes, how was he? And then I go, best he ever had at that point. And then we just had to hang out with that guy.

Oh, that's really uncomfortable. That's just the guy we know now. What a good mom though. Yeah, most moms hang in there for five years. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's kind of unfixable. That's kind of unfixable. What do you mean?

Can you see somebody trying to do that with a blow of baby? Yeah, that's that's there's no way to fix that. Yeah, that's execution There's a wrong your brain. Yeah, take the guy from the lost profits who's in jail for like 20 years Who's the lost profit? It's a group and they apparently there's some really bad shit I think he had a stang operation where he was talking to some lady that he thought had a newborn Yeah, it's just it was bad. Yeah, it's it's like wrap your head around it, but that's a weird. That's not fixable Yeah, my favorite celebrity get well, I mean I can't even think about it because I have a son. Yeah, I wouldn't because I won't I won't I just can't yeah Yeah, well, it's not that weird. It was a girl

Did you ever hear what happened? out you remember the band dope? No, I know I know I'm not like an Oz Fasty kind of band. They had a song on the American Psycho soundtrack I might one of the members of dope got caught with an underage girl in a van outside of a mall And they arrest him and they interview her and she was they go who was who were you just in that van with? And she was he impersonates the guitars from dope told her he was his own impersonator so that she wouldn't tell her friends. Oh, he was fucking a teenage girl. And part of me wants to go, you know what? Yeah, that's out of the flawless from my head.

Yeah, tip of the hat. So I'm yeah, it's genius. Tip of the hat to give up your own celebrity. I Don't know who they are the one tool. Yeah That's genius Fucking crazy impersonator. He's impersonating the guy that I really wanted to blouse. That's crazy Yeah, sex is a weird fucking thing man. Yeah, you you had problems when you were kid I did too. We all had fucking problems.

I fucking, I was a little motor mouth. It's a Lucian. Yeah, he put my head. It skills. Did you do too much? I was just downstairs talking about having my mouth pissed in when I was a kid. Oh, no, I don't think I have any child sexual stuff.

Nothing. No, I was very, I was telling Jim this was, I was in a very like, I was very, I was very, I was telling Jim this one. Yes. I was in a very like, I was in the opposite, like sex is not to be discussed. I was telling Jim this one, like we, I've never had to talk with like any of that shit. They never, so that was probably why you went

nuts when you could. Yeah, I was telling Jim this morning that my mom used to call masturbating that thing you know you're not supposed to do. Right. Every time she left the house and don't do that thing, you know you're not supposed to.. Every time she left the house, and don't do that thing you know you're not supposed to do. And my wife says the same thing to me. But she's talking about sex.

I'm like, I'm eating shit. I'm sorry. That was a good one. That was way better. Yeah, I don't know. I like piss, but I don't think I could have a,

I jerked off to a piss video once. I kind of did it for me once, it for you. But it was a mutual thing. Like she came out, I don't know why this got me off, because it never really does. She came out and he was cleaning the bathroom. He was the bathroom attendant. And she was like, what the fuck,

the sink doesn't work. She was French too. And she was in a, like a little skirt. Like she was a business woman. And she's like, you fucking idiot. fix the sink and then she was like, Oh, you want me to fucking with you want me to pee and she goes, fuck it. And she just, uh, he, no, he gets pissed. And she was a fucking really. And then kind of pushes her down and just pisses on her. And she's like, what are you doing? The shirt is expensive. This is, you know, how much does shirt cost?

And she's like, ah, ah, ah. And then she gets up and goes, motherfucker, you want to do it? And she has ripped your nylons open a business on his face. Ripping the nylons is the hottest part. Yeah, man, I think that's my to what got me. I was like, well, this is trying to weird hot. But I've never got into anything after that.

I've tried to look at other things and it literally made me go, well, I didn't get it. No,, I had an experience that ruined squirting. I was double-teaming a girl with my friend. And she, this gal knew her business. And she saw the PA and she was, I know that's good for reverse cow girl. And I can find my G spot with that.

And it's me and my buddy, fucking her, in my college dorm room. And it was just a shitty mattress with no sheet on it. And she is on top of me. And she goes, I'm gonna squirt, and I go, cool. And then it just hit the wall. It was a direct shot down the wall and filled the bed. Look like coffee grinds.

It filled the bed. And I just remember, like, oh my god, I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna puke, I'm gonna puke I'm gonna puke I'm gonna puke it was like viscous and I just fucking plopper off me, pull up my pants and I walk into the living room in my my friends to fawn sitting in the couch and he goes why are your socks wet? and then my room shh don't for weeks. I couldn't, windows open, door open, it was bad. There was something about it.

Yeah. That dress really, it like soaked into the mattress or something. Yeah. Should've got someone, brined a brisket in it. It was just bad news. Yeah.

Acer and videos, they called the Texas Tinkler series. She was the Texas Tinkler. And there's a bunch of videos I would get. And she would just go around tinkling in her pants and in parking lots. I mean, there's something about it. You know, once you get bored with what you like, then you kind of move on.

That for a second, that did it for me, but I'd never been into that. I couldn't imagine. I'm not at this point. Like, you know, you just outgrow it, you know. I got 53, so you mellow. And you just like, I got to experience a lot of fun stuff, but most of it is just for the sake of doing something different.

And then you get older and you're like, yeah. It just doesn't hold the same, you get, you lose some of your drive. It's just part of getting older. Yeah, it is. It's weird. I don't, I don't even like, I I don't even I don't masturbate as much as I used to because it's like I'd rather take a nap. Yeah, you know, if I do this I'm gonna be here edging for 20 minutes and I want to say do it Then I gotta get up and clean up and

And I'm oh and I only I want to take a nap. It's like I have fuck it. Yeah, post a move away Be an overweight as fucking killed fuck on my teeth so bad. Yeah, dude. It's fucking it's killing myself. I was like, I really have it. It's my fucking I have nothing. Me neither, man. Me, me neither. What do you do to your wife? One of our, she's your girl. One of like, thank, thank you. Blue true. Oh, yeah. I'm afraid to take it though, because I'm older and I don't want to have a heart attack.

I don't think you would, but just do a little cardio for a a few days make sure you can hold up on a treadmill for a half hour Just walk. Yeah, blue. Shoot is not that take a half. I take a half a one half up. What do you get them? Anyway? You could order them blue. Check com. Yeah, I got to get something because get say Alice. I say Alice is my favorite I just don't make afraid that my I took I Took via Niagara in Brazil, and I remember my head was gonna pop off. I fight my head. We were doing 100 milligram Vagra

and then going to the brothels. You don't do that. You do like a fucking sayology, take a half a pill, you take a half of a blue tube. Yeah, I gotta do something because now that this heavy, it's killed it. It's just killed it. I got nothing.

My pecker. It's like, ugh. Yeah, it's like, it's a hard on, but is it? Yeah, it's like a, like you would have to wrap rope around my nuts and pull it. It's a melee dick. A melee dick, yeah, I know. Ah, I hate being fat.

I have to leave it in a minute. The reason I have to go is because my apartment's being like I have fucking mold So I have I can't eat at home like my living room is come. How'd you get mold? Those shit windows that leaked for a long time pretty pissing on my Glass coffee table And so they finally fixed my windows, but then they came in and did a little bit of testing with slides. Yeah. So they pulled some up today.

I saw it. It's just black. Like, so they cut the bottom of the walls out. So I can't, and my whole kitchen area, my living room is, is, is just completely not usable. So I have to eat in this, out in the place closes at 930. All right, baby. Listen, Jimmy, I love you. We got a couple of things. Thanks, man. I have a right, baby. Listen, Jimmy, I love you. We got a couple of thanks.

I have a question really quick. Can I ask your questions? Yes. Because the fans, is that the cold that's been texting me? Yes. I was hiding it back to you. That's the producer. She's awesome.

Oh, okay, I'm going to call. This is from Lou. Jim's a great writer. Does he plan on writing any more articles or books? Yes, I am not definitely doing another book about the update what's been happening the last few years in my life, but not yet, but you have absolutely writing another book. And

how did you become a third mic from Corey? Well, so now you became a third mic on I think I know. Yeah, your dice Claybrite. Nice brought me an opian Anthony and I just kept going in. And I was doing well and then we got arrested, me and Lewis Black spent the night in jail. And OP said, hey man, anytime you want to come, you got a carte blanche. So I did.

Every day. Yeah, not every day at first, but then he got me hired. He got you the money. Oh, we got me the money. And Anthony didn't care if I was there or not. Like, we were friendly but not tight. So you owe OP. Yeah, I've always said that.

I've told the same story for many years. Yeah. All right, we'll ask some more questions next time you come on. Yeah, I'm sorry. That's all right. It's, it happens. You got to take off. I love you, buddy.

All right, I love you too. We come back on the couple of weeks. Yeah, I just, this was the one night because this whole week I don't have to. I kind of, I want to have you on with Vos. Okay. Because I want to say to Zach, huh? No, you know why? Because I want you to be here for the watch.

Oh, God yeah, for the watch court. I want to be a part of that. Do you want to be the judge? Or do you want to be on Voss's lawyer? I mean, Jesus, I know. That's a tough guy to represent. He literally might be too stupid to assist to his own business.

I mean, you could play in competence. Mother fucker. I stay. He's supposed to watch with a K. I buddy Jim Norton, everybody check him out. I hate to leave on that awful watch show. That's terrible, but I just that's that's the best you're getting. All right. You have any more live chip appearances? No, I want to book it on the live chip, but I've been so busy doing stand-up again. It's like, I'll get one eventually.

But eventually we'll do it. I just haven't been inclined to, but I hope you don't. Yeah, I will. I hope you don't. And don't, what is that? Millady? It's one of the fucking most aggravating things ever. And when my son did it to my wife one day, Huh? Huh? And don't, uh, what is that? Malady? Yeah. It's one of the fucking most aggravating things ever.

And when my son did it to my wife one day, did he say, Malady? He went, Malady, going into the house, I almost slept. The first time I would ever hit Max, my life. Malady, it's fucking inferiority. I literally had a ball on my throat. Did I ever get, yeah, we understand.

Did I ever get you a shirt? No. Oh, I'm going to. Thanks for your size, I'm sorry, ball on my throat. Did I ever get you, yeah, we understand. Did I ever get you a shirt? No. Oh, I'm going to. Thank you. It's the biggest one you got. Yeah, I'll see what we can do. Just as a super bowl. Yeah.

Just go to your guy, go send me the biggest one. Yeah, how many axes can you put on that? Can you take two triples? I'll see you guys. Bye, buddy. You put on that. You put on that. Can you take two triples? Put them together. I'll see you guys. Bye, buddy. Love you, Jimmy. We got some questions.

We have some questions for Zach. Get out of here. Yeah, no, they're gonna ask him. Why? Jimmy came on, yes, everybody had to bail. Something came up with his house. And he was, he had a dinner appointment that he had to bail on, but I'm glad that he came up for a couple minutes.

But anyways, yeah, dude, you're talking about being fat. I'm so petrified now. This is how bad it is being fat from you now, is that everything that happens to me, I'm going to die. And every time something happens and I'm going to die, I fucking look at my kid and I start crying because I'm like, wow, I finally broke the chain of bullshit in my life and my kid has a dad. That he has a family, like a mom and dad, that's awesome.

And I'm gonna fucking take a hit. Because dummy couldn't stop eating fucking dumplings. And I got cancer from Doritos, whatever the fuck it is. I had to go to the doctor today, because I have something wrong on my back. And I'm like, it's not going away. It's like, I want to massage there. I want to car practice. Car practice.

The fucking place I went to was a fucking nightmare too. What a horse shit lying. They made me and my wife come in and watch a video. It was like fucking being introduced like Scientology. Like a cult. It was so weird. It was like fucking being introduced like, Scientology. Like a cult. It was so weird. It's like, dude, I'm just hurting.

Can you fix my shit or not? Can you pop thing? Can you take the hammer thing that I watch on YouTube? No hammer thing. I'm a chisel for this. Yeah, I wanna see that guy. That fucking kind of in shape guy. The guy, yeah, the guy that like pulls on wrestlers necks.

Yeah. And they go, ah, they're gonna crack. Yes. That's what I want. I want that guy. The guy, he was wearing a, like a, like one of those I'm gonna go crack. Yes. That's what I want. I want that guy. The guy, he was wearing like one of those nurse shirts that's too tight.

Yeah. Yeah, I want him. He didn't mean that scrubs on him. Yeah, and he kind of says lift your arm up and you can't do by the end. The guy's fucking, yeah, that's the guy. The Diamond Dallas page can reach all the way in the end. Yes.

Yes. I wish I thought his fucking DDP yoga did, but apparently that doesn't work. He's gonna go see this guy. So Yeah, I want to see that guy. No, I got the other guy You know he did crack crack three times on the back side side neck neck and you okay. See you later Dude, that's like 60 bucks man. I'm not fucking I'm not your pal. I got that money to be you know

He's like seven, they sat us in 70 visits, won't you do around 70 visits for the first week? I don't have four fucking, I can't come here four days a week. That's nuts. And they would double charging my insurance. Once they found out I had like good insurance, they would double charging it. One for the adjustment and the other one was for rehab, but there's no rehab.

They were like, they put those electrodes on your back. I bought that, I bought it down the street for 60 bucks, Doc to Ho. Doc to Ho comes in a box, you put it on your back, you push the button, that's it. I have the gun, that works good. You have a massage gun. I have the gun to you. I have the gun to you. I You have a massage gun. I have them. I have done to you up up up up

I like that. I bought the have you seen the like it's like a hump and you can adjust it for how high it is and you lay across it No, it's Facebook Advertises to me and I'm a sucker for shit like that me too, but it's um So it's a flatboard and then a hump that you put in it and it's's got three heights. And you lay across it and stretch your back out. And it was work for me. Because I only found that recently when you're back cracks like they're that pop, that's air coming out that was stuck.

What? That's not supposed to be in there. Like when you pop your back, that's air that's not supposed to be in between those joints. Could the cracking sound? So the first time I did it, I laid on this thing and I just went,

it was like 20 pops. I was like, oh, I bet this is gonna fix things. And I laid on it for like 20 minutes, and then I couldn't walk for a week. Wow. It fucked me up massively. So you went out a $25 thing from China that was advertised to me on Facebook for complaining about back pain.

I got one of those rolling balls. What are those the roll? No, the gun is great. A little fucking skinny, Nicky-laven. The gun is great. The gun will really... I have the gun, but I have the... What's the rolling... Nick, what's the ball called? It's like a... The pin, the rolling thing. Oh, look it up. I don't know what you're talking about.

Like, didn't you wear an athlete or some shit? What, like a lacrosse ball or a tennis ball? No, you kind of roll, like the roll, you roll on it. Oh, a foam roller. Yeah, foam roller. I have a foam roller. That actually worked pretty good. But dude, I had to go, I mean, it's, my back in the middle of it is so,

like it feels like someone's grabbing my spine when I arch my back, it hurts, and I'm like, it's, I'm dying. I feel like somebody, when my back hurts, I feel like somebody's got my lower spine in their fist and is directing me which way to go. Ugh. Yeah, I, this thing, so I'm at the bar.

Do you feel this board's growing up? Yeah. I wrestled and I'm convinced that like Oh, you just wrecked your body for the entertainment of dads But it's someone just someone said to me I figured it was some old dude I know friend of mine He's like dude, you just fat And I was like what? He goes dude, lose weight

Oh no, I'm sure for me that's 80% of it I'm for me too I'm too fat But then it's so hard to get up and do shit because I'm in pain all the fucking time. I think I want to go get the surgery. Yeah? Yeah.

We'll go together. That's partly, yeah, I would. Can you, do you have insurance? No. Does gas digital give you insurance? No, but I think I could, I think I could finagle it. How? I think I could ask somebody.

Your wife? No. Lewis? No. How? I think I could ask somebody. Your wife? No. Lewis? No. Lewis, we give you a chance. No, no. I think I could figure it out. Who, okay.

I think if I really put together a guy. I got a number. I have a friend of mine who did my, who's, I love him. He's a great guy. And he did my belly button surgery and he does this operation. He does the sleeve.

That's cool. And that's the best one. That's the safest one. That's when everybody's losing the weight and leasing the limpanelian. All these people did this thing, right? But his, each hospital is different. His hospital has, you have to go to a nutritionist, you have to lose around 30 pounds, you have to, it's six months, takes around six months to do it. And then if you follow all these guys, and then they'll do the surgery, I don't want that. You just want it done. There's, and then this other guy who I talk to,

just will do it, will do it next week. That's the guy I want, but then I'm like, if I do that, am I gonna die? You know, I know a lot of people who got it and it changed their life. I know somebody that got it and then they still died. What? But he died of cirrhosis. So he stopped eating but wouldn't stop drinking and it fucked him up.

Oh, okay. But I think it's also because he was drinking the same amount. Yeah. But now he wasn't getting calories. Enough. Because it took him- Do I know that person? No, but now he wasn't getting calories. Enough. Because it took him- Do I know that person? No, he was somebody I grew up around.

I'm just afraid. I don't know, dude. I just don't know. I really know. I saw you on Facebook and it's somebody and you can do it. And just be your own leader. You have to flook and pretend. You're like, and I'm like, I don't got it. I just

hate that person. Like, and I know I gotta do it. I know I gotta put the work and I know I get back in the gym, but I'll get people that leave me comments like, your fat cause you're lazy. It's like, motherfucker, do you know my day? I got up at 60 gym in Sam, two shows meeting, went to go home, you called me, came to do a spot, came here. I have fucking been going since 6 a.m. today. Yeah. It's nighttime now. I gotta go home and sleep so I don't fucking die. Yeah, people go, you gotta take time to go to the gym.

I'm a busy, I fucking, five things I'm doing today. I mean, too, dude, I wake up at 7.30. You gotta fucking be, you gotta take care of it. I do the kid shit. But I understand, like, it just sucks. You know, I don't really fuck with a cum. I read one the other day, it's just fucking some, it's always some guy who's private.

Yeah. It's fucking, and I, it sucks, because I would love to talk to these people. You know what I mean? Like, but they're fake, they're cowardly. I have a few times. You have. I've gone out of my way.

I would say 50% of the time, I'll get, I was trying to be funny. Yeah. You know what I get a out of my way. I would say 50% of the time, I'll get, I was trying to be funny. Yeah. You know what I get a lot of? But I'm so sorry, I would just drunk. I think they're, it's a comedian. Do you think it's a comic?

Yeah. It's just trying to destroy us. No, I think it's just a comic who's just a... A troll? Or it's either a comic or somebody in this who's just a coward. You know what I mean? They can't say shit.

Whatever, they just can't, they don't have the balls. They're just like that little slimy. There's a guy, a British guy who hates me from something I find. That sucks, but it's international. But it's so funny because he'll make new profiles. But then he'll call me brv, BRUV. I know it's you, fucker. Yeah, I have a guy that does that too.

He makes new profiles, so it's the same people that he, it's like 160 people you fall. And 100, something people fall you. And you get fucking two, three-pit-three posts. And it's some stupid, there's nothing in it, or it's private. Yeah, I get those. And then like, what I would call like the

the outskirts of because gas digital kind of has the same like compound media fans. It's people that hate me are dudes whose profile picture is them wearing sunglasses in the driver's seat of their truck. Yeah, the kind of guy that's like hip hop at the Super Bowl halftime show. You're right. I'm not watching this year. Those guys fucking hate me. All right. Why? Because I look like this. Yeah. Yeah, you should be one of them, but you're not.

I'm smart. Yeah, you're them. You're like a mixture of four different groups. Yeah, I'm them, but I found Pat and I was world when I was 12. Yeah, and this happened. Yeah, you're a bunch of you. You stink because you didn't pick a side. Yeah. You took all sides. You really believe in the rainbow. Depending on who's talking to me, I am an alt-right Nazi or a SJW leftist. Yeah. You really are. And I have that face, which I told you, my neighbor, it's all Arab. I went with the last time we talked. Where I live. It's almost all Arab. But my building has some holdouts from back of the day. So I'll have like old Irish guys.

I am three polite halos from any old Irish guy in my building before they take me aside and go, it's great to see a fucking white guy in the building. You know, this block used to be all bars, all Irish. And then the muzzies started moving in about 50 years. They call them muzzies? Yeah. The A-rabs.

The muzzies, I like the muzzies. But I'm about three polite halos from any white guy in my building. Yeah. Because I just got the face. Yeah. Yeah, you do. I love it, though. I love it.

I think you're fucking magical. When I see you, dude, I'm like, dude, you're this fucking guy. How as fucking how do you not like them I'm fun you're fun you're a fun guy plus you could kick some ass I like that you could fight your wrestler used to wrestle I mean I wouldn't fuck with you I do not want to get my ass kicked by you I'm so I'm the last thing I want to do is see you over me I'm so I'm so fucking out of shape yeah I would just I'm my only strategy at this point. Would it be to go for a guillotine? I'm, I'm, I'm I'm a front head lock, front head lock and just pray to God. I choke you out before I have a heart attack. I'd have to, I'm going to suck a punch at this point. Yeah. I'm like, dude, I don't

have any problems. And as soon as you turn your fucking back, I'm gonna, I'm gonna hit you with something in the back of the head and then punch you in Your face. I got hit with a belt buckle. Where? From behind on the subway years ago. I may have been in Address going to an event. And this kid walked by me talking shit. I was like, I go fuck yourself, you know? And I did not know he took his belt off. He had a big belt buckle on and he wrapped it around his fist and he sucker punch him in the eye from behind. How did I want the eye from behind? He went around your face and my glasses exploded. So now I can't see.

I don't know what happened. And I show up and just this entire side of my face was closed for about two weeks. What a piece of shit. Oh yeah, he got me good. That was on the platform with the F train at ninth street. Jesus. And then he ran to the motherfucker. What a piece. He stuck her punch me and ran. Pussy. That was a bad one though. That'll fuck you day up. That just self-buckle right in the face. Yeah. That's terrible. Just getting a punch for what you were in a drug It's like you're in New York City. Yeah, get used to it. If you're in Tennessee I got to understand maybe being a little with the fuck you doing the macaques. Yeah, but you're in New York City

Asshole, what a piece of shit coward Fucking coward. I'm scared. I think the last time I got hit though. I don't think I Almost got in a fight a few years ago and a guy took out a badge and tried to pretend he was a cop I did that one and I just walked away. I did that with a crazy Asian woman Yeah, I had a little you know those little badges that the cops give you the gold badges Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have the pva card, but then if you really do something good, they'll give you the little badge Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was sitting on the stoop up here right up the street on 6th. It was a beautiful day and this kind of nice looking Asian lady, girl, I would say 20s, was just fucking,

fucking motherfucker, like talking to herself, going, fucking, who the fuck is, and I was just like, what the, because she was hot. And I looked over at her and she, I, you know, that's the one thing I don't look at crazies. Yeah, you must have made eye contact. You can't make eye contact. Once you make eye, they're looking to lock in with somebody.

And she, she got me. She went, what the fuck are you looking at? And I just turned away. She went, you, and she wasn't letting you, what the fuck did you say to me? And I went, I didn't say nothing. I'm a, I was looking on the phone with my agent. And I'm like, dude, this is fucking lady.

Who the fuck are you? And she said, I'll fucking kill you right now. You fucking asshole. I'll fucking kill you. What'd you say to me? What'd you call me? Now, people see an Asian woman, flipping out, yelling at a guy like me,

what did you call me? Who said it? I guess so yeah. They're immediately thinking. So I had with me on the subway, a lady pushed me on the subway stairs and I just was, she got me in on day. I went, all right, so there's no more rules.

We don't live in a fucking society. We can't walk in a goddamn line. And she just started screaming like I raped her. And I went, okay, have a good day. Dude, I had a wallet that looked like a hundred dollar bill with the badge in it and I flipped it open. I go back up. Shit, fucking shit. She went, I'll fucking kill you.

I flipped my badge up but the badge is on this page. She's gone, I'll fucking kill you. I ran. I just got it running. I was just running across the street. I was with my phone when I was a dude this lady jump was trying to kill me Scary shit, man. Do you have the citizen app on your phone? What's that? That's fucking my life up. What is it? It's um It tells you crimes No in within feed of you. Oh god. So like the other night my wife's like Stabbing where

75 feet away. And we're like, I'm like, you're gonna look out the window or you know, trash can't, cause during the protests we were getting them like, it'll give you updates within certain amount of feet. And like now, before it happened. Your app was actually, but now we'll get ones that are like,

oh, that was in the building. Cause I moved a few years ago, Did I tell you about the gun? Somebody hit a fucking gun So I used to live in a real shithole, right? And I loved it. I wouldn't leave. I had like a sweetheart deal Yeah, and it was a two bedroom for like 1500. I wouldn't leave that's so funny. That's a sweetheart deal for me It was okay, but that's ridiculous. I know I know But it for me it was just it was great. It was just perfect for but that's ridiculous. I know, I know. But for me, it was just, it was great.

It was just perfect for my budget at the time. Right. I could rent out the other room if I needed to. And I had a fucking Verizon box next to my door that did everybody, you know, for everybody's Verizon. Right. And one night I'm on the way home and my wife calls me. She was, all right, because she knows I've anxiety. She knows cops freak me out. She goes don't freak out When you come home there's gonna be some police Outside the door and I thought she meant to the building I get there she meant my door doing prints on everything

Somebody stashed a loaded gun right next to my door in the Verizon box. Right. And I was like, hey, we're moving. That's the one. Because there was a drug deal that was hanging out in my stairwell, like outside of my door. And I basically, and it was a couple, they were kids. And I went out. I'm so glad that you you had a kids. They were teenagers Yeah, and I went out the worst I would let it guys. That's like a baby Fucking cotton mouth. Yeah, they don't know how much venom to give but I went and talked to them I was like hey guys listen at a certain time You just got to take us somewhere. You know like go now and then I bought drugs from them

You bought from them I bought we've from them and I was like, hey, listen, guys, just do me a favor. And they were reasonable. It's such a great counter-lay. They were reasonable. Because my old method before, before weed was legal when it was harder to get, I had the foolproof tactic. Find a guy with face tattoos.

Go, hi, are you a tattoo artist? And if he says no, go, I would like to buy some drugs now. Yeah. Flawless system. It's great. And so I always had people in the building. And now you had 50 row killers. Now, and I would meet, you know,

just Mexicans with face tattoos. I'm like, I'm a hollow, are you a tattoo artist? Yeah. And I had these kids, and they were great. But then I think somebody moved in on that shit, and somebody called the cops on them, and they ran through my my building put the gun in my door to come back for it. And then the cops took it and the cops talk to us and they're like, yeah, here's a number. This is what the guy looked like and I'm like, you think I'm calling like, no, he's coming to look for his loaded gun.

Are you nuts? He's gonna know it was me. Yeah. He put it in my door And it's gone and it's gone now and I don't have it Why don't you why don't you why've just take it? No, she didn't know I found a loaded gun. I would keep it. She didn't know it was in there I would keep it the cops saw him on the security camera Stash you could murder you could literally kill somebody If you have a loaded gun, that is not yours.

You could kill somebody and then just throw it out and it's not yours. I don't know. It would go back to that. New York gun laws are so fucking scary. I'm pretty sure that gun didn't have fucking numbers. Yeah, but if you have a gun on you in New York, that's without a license, without anything.

Yeah, I'm being so fast. I'm crazy. There's a crazy minimum. What do you think I want to murder people? No, I know. But I mean, even just to. It's crazy. There's a crazy minimum. What do you think I want to murder people? No, I know. But I mean, you just have it. Yeah. I think there's a mandatory minimum of five or 10 years.

You can't get a handgun in New York City. No, you can't. No, I've been. You can't. You have to be, you have to be, and Manhattan, you can't. But even in Westchester, you have to wait six months and you have to be, you have to have a certain,

like you have to have money on you or you have to something like that. When you carry certain amount of money in order, did you start having things to protect the house? I have a shotgun. Okay, I like that. I got a shotgun, I am gonna get my handgun. I live in the Hampshire now.

Yeah. I have a residence up there. So now I can carry up there. In Hampshire, you can just fucking go buy my handgun. I live in the Hampshire now. Yeah. I have a residence up there. So now I can carry up there. In Hampshire, you can just fucking go by handgun. I can't wait to get up. For some reason, I hit like 32, 33, married, started really caring. Dude, I have a knife in every room.

Oh, I have my shotgun in my room. And it's all ready to fucking go. It's loaded. I have a fucking, do you ever ever see the talent knives that are like like that, you hold backwards, with the handle, the left hand. Yeah, I got that in my bedside drawer next to it. By the way, if somebody's in my bedroom already,

it's done. I'm not getting the knife, but I need to have it there for my... Oh, if somebody's in my bedroom, I'm literally, I just reach over and grab the shotgun and it's loaded. Oh, I would. I always leave it loaded and I have bushcraft knives

in every room of my health, which is a full-tang knife that just goes into people. Why? It's no flipping it out. It just penetrates people. My brother-in-law is a cop and we were talking about my knives and my wife's like, okay, he needs a knife in every room.

I just don't understand it. He has this thing about protecting the house now and my brother in law turns him, he goes, there's bullets hidden in every room in the house. Yeah, yeah. He goes, and he goes, and he goes, he just starts, he had multiples, from any vantage point, he had bullets at hand.

Yeah, I'm gonna fuck it. All right, listen, we gotta wrap it up. We'll go on it to the overtime with, will you stay with me? All right, listen, we gotta wrap it up. We're going into the overtime. With, will you stay with me? Yes, of course, bud. We got questions for Zach. Yeah. We do.

I texted him to you. What are you? What? I'm gonna go to the overtime. I wanna thank Jim Norton for coming on YKWD. Always an interesting dude. I love him so much. And Zach, you know, you're one of my favorites

Do I really I'm glad you've been on I don't know why we never hooked up I think it cuz you at Lewis. Yeah, and you had a little I don't know when me and Lewis are best friends Like even though we fought all the time. I've loved that kid like a son Like people think that we don't like each other. Is that what you stop calling? I call him all the time. I'm in his dad Oh his dad is dead. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's weird. But I'm glad you're coming on. Glad we hang out and doing shit together.

And great job tonight. Make sure you go to comicwearables.com, use coworker ladybugs and subscribe, like there it is right there. Use coworker ladybugs, get yourself some YKWD stuff. Here it comes. She's gonna click the YKWD button, fuck. Dan soda.

He's got enough. All that shit right there. YKWD, there's the Skankfest YKWD, which happens to be what everybody loves. And also go to subscribe on the YouTube channel. We got a lot, we got a lot of new subscribers last month, right? Yeah.

Yeah, a lot, fucking. So welcome to the YouTube channel. Type plug, uh, you're plugging everything. I'm letting you plug last. I'm like, now you can plug. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm gonna be in some of the city and then we're gonna be at Grand Rapids and then Detroit. We're doing a fucking little tour, a little run of shows, just to have some fun together. It's gonna be a great, I can't wait to do it.

I can't wait to have shows with those fucking assholes. And then me and Lewis Gomez and I are gonna be in some of the city and we're gonna be at Grand Rapids. And then Detroit, we're doing a fucking little tour, a little run of shows, just to have some fun together. It's gonna be a great, I can't wait to do it. I can't wait to have shows with those fucking assholes. And then me and Lewis Gomez and the legend, Rich Voss are at Niagara Falls at San, Sanica, Casino. I got a lot of great shows coming up

and a lot of great friends of mine, very funny people. Robert Kelly Live.com for all that. And Zach, what do you got? Zach Amiko. Instagram Zach is not funny. I got three podcasts. Realize podcasts with Louis J. Gomez Monday Wednesday Friday. Bye guys with Ian finance Thursdays. And my horror movie Watch Long Podcast Zach Amiko's Midnight Spook Show Fridays at midnight. My new movie hashtag Shakespeare Shitstorm will have just screened in Philly on Friday if you're listening to it on YouTube.

But we have a week-long theatrical run starting April the 8th at the Museum of Moving Image here in New York City. And I have a new cartoon that's up on YouTube for free as well as guest digital called Foolishly Ghoulish that's my version of Tales from the Crypt. And I'm really, really excited about it. I have eight episodes coming out, and's my version of Tales from the Crypt. That's great. And I'm really, really excited about it. I have eight episodes coming out and I'm really, really proud of it.

And we're going to go to the YouTube. We're going to the Patreon right now. So we're going to do a stuff over there going to be talking about rapper TI. We're going to be talking about Bob Saggett. We're going to be talking about some more shit with Zach in his fucking freaky ways. And then we're going to be taking questions. So So you wanna go over there, patreon.com, SAS Robert Kelly, become a member, price of a cup of fucking coffee, maybe two,

or a Kamamakiado, but head over there and all your people over there, we'll go in there. So stay tuned, don't go anywhere. And there we go, you know what, the- Stick around, it's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now Exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber Kelly See you there two pieces of bubble gum and I ate the bubble gum

I when I go on the road if they give you a room with two beds. Yeah one bed is for sleeping The other bed is for two things drying off when you got out of the shower You just roll on the bed like an animal. Yeah, that's good. And then if I'm eating buffalo wings or anything like that, I just sit in the bed and use the comforter. Oh, oh, oh.

Cause fuck it, that's some Mexican ladies problem. Oh my God. You're on the road to the other, the other week, I went, there were people going out to party. Lewis was like going out with a bunch of people to a bar, I went back to the room and ordered cracker barrel by myself.

That's you've had how sad that is. That is sad. That's because they closed it like 10. Yeah. I went home early because I knew what time they were closing because I looked it up. Dude, I've done it. I've done it.

And I sit on the bed too. I have a king bed, but I use it. I'll come out of the shower because you can't get the crevices. No, you got to like move ship, but you lay on the bed and you just roll around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I'm in Philly all week. I've already looked at what the Wawa menu has become.

Oh, man. Because I know that's happening. Shit, dude, we gotta do something. Let's work on it, buddy. We gotta do it. By the way, there's a clip of us saying this five years ago. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, we're not gonna do it. There's a clip of the five. five years ago. Yeah. Yeah. How are we not gonna do it?

There's a clip of us saying it's me, you, and like three other fat guy. I think Sean Donnelly. Sean did it. Sean did it. Sean did it. And then another guy who's a big, big guy, and we make a pact that we're all gonna, then we're gonna check in on each other

and we're gonna be back in a month and see how much weight we lost. There's no fat loyalty, dude. Sean did it, didn't even tell us. No. He just intermittent fast, lost the weight, and now looks down on us. Fucking A, I'm gonna do the less,

you know, you should do it me. We'll do the less titty challenge. Me and you will do it together. Okay. Five days a week. Okay, we'll do that. We do, you know, rubber bands. Uh-huh.

We get the rubber bands. The resistance bands. Resistance bands. We do, you know, rubber bands. Uh-huh. We get the rubber bands. The resistance bands. Resistance bands. We go on my Instagram, right? Live, and we do a 25 minute workout. Okay. And I did it. Last time I did it with everybody,

even Lewis, like I did Ari and everybody did it. But me and you will do it for a 30 day less titty challenge. Okay. We'll get the bands. I'll buy the bands for you. Thank you. And then what time do you wake up? I do real-ass podcasts atitty challenge. Okay. We'll get the bands. I'll buy the bands for you. Thank you. And then what time do you wake up? I do real ass podcasts at 11 a.m.

So I'll get up and do it with you. We do it at 9.30, 9.30 to 10. I can swing that. All right, we're gonna pick the date. Me and Zach, 30 day less titty challenge. You got it, man. And we'll get people, we'll get a, I like a fucking few hundred fat people doing it with me last time. We had all these fat

people doing it. Some of them stayed thin, which bugs me. Makes me so mad that my thing helped them and not me. Yeah, I'm in, man. I would love that. All right, I'll fucking, we'll make it happen. Me and you, Zach, Amiko and Bob Kelly. If this doesn't happen in the next few weeks, people tweet us and make sure that we hold. Yeah, shame us. Hold us. Hold and make sure that we hold shame us hold us hold us though Yeah, you can shame us cause fat fat live. They're gonna do that regardless. No, they're not gonna cause fat The whole cause lies All right, everybody listen. I want to thank everybody. I got to do these do we have names? Are we good? Yes

Can we get to read these names? You know that right? We I like to read the names of all the new people here. We go. I have no glasses. I see you make them big. All right. Cool. All right. Here we go. Ready? Juan Mendrano, Jack Foster, Disuk Jones, Nick Kuski. Well, I don't know what the fuck's happening.

What are you doing? So you can see it on the video also. I had to scoot you over. Oh, scoot you over. Can you make it? There you go. Where are my? Nick Kuski. Yeah, keep going. I can't read it. Go. For South third Cliff Archibald, Palau, Allianne, Alex, Fordada, Josh, Liz Carrey, Madison J Cooper, Al McTay, Tom Meredith,

Christian, Ew, Caldonia, Kelly Godfrey, Tony, John, Lauren Ruins, IZK, a chowdery, Dave DeKin, that's Deepu's cousin, Concierge, Cory, Blisland, Cotsie, Greg Schmidt, Timothy Gonzalez, Austin Jordan, Weston Jordan, Aline Hogan, Rob Hubbard, Abden Mayor, Gabrielle Vasquez, Timothy Revin, Christine Spico, Asipco, Brandon Wallace, Jimmy Lee, Matthew Cook, Sean and Garaia, Corn Cobb, John, Chris Ash, Billy

J. Show. Billy J. That's, that's Maddie. What's up, Maddie? So Bobbobbob Travis Lee, Matthew Waller, Chef Ross, John Asozzo, Brian Carey, Brian Baker, Scott Hill, Richard Stevens, Robert Shannon, Elijah Welch, and Michael Mourland. There we go. Thank you so much for being a part of the Patreon, joining the club. You got to be on Bailey Jay's new show.

I would love to. She does a podcast. You want to hook that up? Yes, please. I haven't talked to her in years. She's big's, you know, big in the heart like you. I did a roll show. Oh, cool. All right. Cool. I got to read this too. This is a check it out, everybody. You know, the fan is fucking me up. I can't look. The fan.

I don't want to hold it like this. The fan is fucking me up. I don't want to, I want to hold it like this, but I can't joke. You shut the fan off. I suck. There we go. I'm going to try it like this, but I can't joke, you shut the fan off. I suck. There we go. I'm gonna try to read this. Look, I wanna thank, I got a new sponsor. You guys know it.

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Who knows what went and where and how and You can call them right now and get 25% off. Hey, dude I want to thank you for coming on. What else what do you got to get tell everybody what's going on with you great? Three podcasts real-est podcast Monday Wednesday Friday, that's me and Louis J Gomez. Bye guys, with Ian, five answers, Thursdays, and Zach Amiko's Midnight Spook show, my horror movie, Watch The Long Show, airs Friday at midnight on the gas digital network. I have a new cartoon, foolishly, ghoulish, uh, two episodes are out already, six more coming. That's on YouTube and gas digital and my new movie, hashtag shakesbears,

shitstorm. If you're listening live is going to be in Philly this weekend, but we have a New York the actual run beginning April the 8th with a screening at the Museum of Modern Image and then a week of screenings. After that here in the city, it should be really, really fun. I'm really looking forward to it. And make sure you go to robbercullylive.com. For all my dates, you can go up there. I'm going to be a Pekipsi. I'm doing the countercrues. I'm gonna be doing a tour,

a little, a little, many thing with big J. Ari and me through Michigan Detroit. So make sure you check that out. I'm also doing a great show up at the Bears Den with Lewis J. Gomez and Mr. Rich Vos, the watch thief. With, I believe, we're to be filming it and you're coming up too, correct? I think so.

That's great. And all my dates are up there. So make sure to robacadolive.com and patreon.com, you guys are the best. Thank you so much for being a part of this. And what do we got? Make sure you check out Nicky, new Nikki, she's the producer. And Joe, at Jokes Rousokes Russell and check out his cheese show. My producer has his own cheese show that I like to promote him and his wife soon to be

wife. It's an awesome show on YouTube. The cheese show, check it out, like it, subscribe, follow. That's how you support us by liking, subscribing and following it. And make sure you check out Mike V. Suarez. He's in San Antonio right now probably eating himself to death and playing with dolls. So I love you guys. You guys are the best fans of the world. Hope you enjoyed the show. y que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se está haciendo a la gente que se Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fui, Paras!

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