Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Jim Norton's Back Again

Episode Date: June 25, 2012

Comedian Jim Norton returns to the YKWD podcast. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network.

Riotcast.com. Hey everybody, it's Dan Soder, Monster Voice from the You Know What Dude podcast Bobby is gonna be live comics at Fox Woods June 28th through the 30th the 13th of July Bobby's gonna be in musket fest cafe. That sounds made up. It's in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania Whether the 19th 20th or 21st Viva Las Vegas Bobby's gonna be at the Empire Comedy at the Parasotaal So go check that out. Rhode Island, you got from great strip clubs. Well, you know what else you got? Eighth on August 16th, Bobby's gonna be at the comedy connection. Go check it out.

One show only. Get your tickets. It's gonna be a bloodbath. I don't even know if that's not a proper way to actually promote a comedy show. And 18th August, Wilbur Theater, bean town, the prodigal son, or one of the prodigal sons returns, one show only. So get tickets now before it sells out. And you guys end up getting in fights with your sweatpants and your Celtics hoodies. Fuck yo, there's fucking sweatpants kid.

Fucking warm up pants and sweatpants are the same fucking thing and fuck you Go being time. Hi everyone. This is Kelly for stuka or Fat Kelly and everyone Too much like to know me As Dan that's your cue I Do come out to the queen to come It's why I means and drop off the 7!

That's a Jackson stop off the 7, or the G stop, the 21st of off the G. At the creek in the cave, it is called Underbelly, it's a show with comics doing everything but they stand up soon. If you know them and you know they're sets and you think they're amazing, they're doing everything but it's always a massive, massive show. We've got a lot of stuff that we've prepared for it. It's our one year anniversary, it's free, and there massive show. We've got a lot of stuff that we've prepared for it. It's our one year anniversary. It's free, and there's cheap food and drinks there. So 10 o'clock July 7th at the Creek Inn and Caves that I night, come down, say hello, let's cuddle.

Want to take a girl out for a special evening? Maybe you're a gal with a guy that needs to blow off a little steam. Well, July 12th at 10 p.m. at Caroline's on Broadway. It's Joe List from Comedy Central's and Live at Gotham, also from every bar in the Tri-Stand area. He's a little bit of a blues bag. Tickets at Caroline's.com. Come on out, I'll suck you off in the back. My name is Joe List. My dear friend who I care a lot about, Dan Soder will be headlining at

Caroline's on Broadway on June 28th. You should go see it. He was on Comedy Central's live at Gotham the year after me. Just a great guy and and and and pretty funny. I just want my intro, my my plug to be much more sincere than yours. Mine was great. Ah, fuck your mother. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking you are listening to Robert Kelly's you know what dude? You know what dude? I know what dude! This is Robert Colis, you know what dude? You know what dude? All right, here we go. Robert Kelly's, we're doing another episode. A special edition.

This is actually, this is coming out Monday, where it's a special edition. We're doing two this week. This is the first of two, but it be special because Jim Norton is on it. I wouldn't consider that special, really. Or, yeah, you don't know who's on the show, but who's the next one you're doing? Angel Salazar. Oh.

I'm like drunk driving. You got a DUI recently, I heard. Do you really? Yeah, they get pulled over. I don't know if he actually was drunk or not, but really? Yeah, I heard that I heard that he got pulled over for you know It's funny is that I think I was one of my buddies was working on them at like the looney bin in statin island and said he got shit face He's like no, it's fine. I know that I've home. I'm okay. Oh really and then he got popped

So what happened? I don't know if it was that night, but I know he was like he did a show with him And he was like he got pretty banged up. Yeah, it's weird. He was in two of the biggest gangster movies ever I mean fucking Scarface and then and then Khaled wasah's way, which was not his biggest Scarface, but it was still a big movie. Yeah, but he he's such a f**k. He is for some reason he gets a pass because of those movies and he's such a character, but he is the biggest f**k an act. There's a he used to come to Nick Collins with a f**k room there. Okay, it's a Chinese restaurant. We all hang out in the hallway there I there's a dressing room there and I found this out because fucking this angel Salazar brings a fucking Plathor of outfits change like like his Barbara Streisand

But he doesn't change at all. He just uses the room. He just likes to have options Bobby I didn't even know he wore a outfit and outfit much less plethora As you said that you're fucking a mic show exploded I like thinking about was three amigos when he says that Plethora means I do not have the support knowledge Yeah, he said to me when I was I had to go pick him up when I was in MC and be a time I had to pick him up and drive him to the gig and He said okay when I say Is there any polo in the audience? I need you to go me if nobody says anything

Because he has to do the joke so my god fuck me. I had another spot in downtown So I got Wayne Preffedy I go he was in the the joke. So my god, fuck me. I had another spot in downtown, so I got Wayne Preffedy. I go, he was in the other room, I go, Wayne. Just go in the room, when you hear him say, I had any polox, just raise your hand and go, mate. So he's in the fucking other room, and all of a sudden he just keeps hearing him go, are there any polox in the room?

And he keeps going, he won't fucking go on. He's any polox in the room, and all of a sudden, Wayne runs into the room, me, me, me, me, me, and then he just in the room and I'm a sudden way runs into the room. Me, me, me, me, and then he just does the joke. Doesn't even have fucking to fact them. Just goes into the joke. His closing bit is actually gets into his underwear, right? Yeah, I haven't seen Ainsel on a long time.

I've seen him like just bumping into him, but I haven't performed to him in fucking 15 years. But yeah, he would do a big born in the USA. He would have like a big Tina Turner in his music. I don't remember the new I'm sure he's changed some of it but it was it back when I saw it was a Born the USA. What I whatever Tina Turner's big song was And he would just kind of rollin on the river Proud proud man

Fucking big hit from Thunderdough. Mary was a big time Yeah, he's a fucking creep and he is a pussy. How no I did give he done everything that walked out the fucking door He would stand I remember I'm like what a fucking old piece of shit He would stand by the door and just try to get pussy every shell I respect that though yeah I fucking respect that a lot of course you know cuz that's what we do yeah he was just more honest about it yeah he was fucked hot girls off whenever he was on a hot check with him whenever he came with somebody they were always he never had like a fatty I mean he would always pick up a hot girl yeah I think it's because of who he was and he is funny

I mean he gets the crowd laughing I've've never I've never seen him bomb a Caroline wants Which was kind of sad? Seeing that guy bomb like you see him on TV then you work you're an MC you see him killing it at the columns And then you see him as like fucking 12 people on a Wednesday and you're like oh fuck a Caroline's yeah Comedy selling he would murder you think you'd murder I actually see them at the comedy-cell I Years ago I saw when you come in here and like fucking 1996 or 95 and he'd be on and he was he was always close Not to show he was the room. It was fucking moving. Yeah, he would do it. He's just fucking. Oh, yeah Cuz he's a small guy, but in that room because he stands on something. Yeah, he's just a big powerful fucking force when he before

He's a good performer. Yeah, he's great. big powerful fucking forest when he before he's a good performer Yeah, he's great. He's easy old school fucking just goes in and kills But if he doesn't kill you never want to need somebody in the audience You never want to have to go like Lisa. There's a lot of crowd work So she needs a black guy at front or she needs somebody because a big piece of her act is kind of based on playing off of somebody of something Whether there's a race or a sexual thing, in the front, you never want to need somebody. I would hate to fucking rely on having a black dude or whatever, a gay guy in this room.

Well, they actually get, they make sure, right? What were you going to say? Oh, you know, Henry Phillips. No, he's an Asian guitar act, right? He's not Asian. Is it me? No. I thought he was Asian, but he is a guitar act.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. He's got a great story about he's working in like Apple tin, I think and the MC It's like the middle of December and the MC goes hey look at this guy. We're in shorts. I can see your balls I don't know why I made him from Boston But I can see your balls and it just kills and then the second show he does the same thing like this guy was shorts on I can see your balls and Henry's on stage looking for a guy in shorts and he gets something he's like what? He goes is there a guy wearing shorts?

I think I go, no, but he gets a big laugh. Henry's like, yeah, but the fucking, this three tables think you're retarded. Everyone wants his look at it each other. It's pretty good. I think I'll keep it in. I know who Henry Phillips is because I was doing radio one time. Does he have CDs out? Yeah, yeah, he's got a couple of them.

I was doing radio in Houston on the Walton uh... on the walton and johnson show and i was fucking bombing really they stunk and so did i yeah it was a terrible radio shot was bombing so bad they went to break playing i think a henry philips song which is how i knew i was doing so badly that they played another comedians going into the break it too weeks and we're going to be at the improv. Yeah, funny, but if it was Voss. That would have at least been a comforting friend's voice.

That was humiliating. That's so funny though. You do ready for a living. Why would you buy, was it them? They just didn't like your style. This was weird. This was back a years ago. I don't even know, um,

Oh, and they were back on yet. We might have been 2005 or six, but it was their first day back in like, or their first week back in that market. And there's two of them and there's one guy that does a whole bunch of voices. I'm the black god. Hi, he does like the gay, but you're supposed to, that's, that's me. That's easy. Yeah, but it's you. This motherfucker said, okay, just don't acknowledge that one guy is doing all the voice. Yeah, that's all. Like, why do I have to sign up? That's awful. To lie with you.

I was humiliating. So it took me totally out of being honest. And Bill Barrett trouble with them too. I forget what Bill's problem was. It was probably a similar thing. Were they like really morning zoo-y? Oh, they stunk. Like a lot of like, whewt, like the whistle and bells and fucking I don't remember I remember no they were slower pace

They were pretty popular in Houston or they got kicked off and come back But the one guy doing all the voices made me sitting in the studio. This wasn't over the fine Don't acknowledge me don't acknowledge me I was so man That's stupid. It's good. You fucking do this. I get to react like a black eye.

I just said something. I'm motherfucking fraud. You are. Oh, fucking make me a... Can't do this. Kelly used to be fat. He does a great impression of her, which used to be fat. You're fricking me. You're making me crazy.

She lost all the way because of it. She's hot now, so you can make fun of her. used to be fat. You're fat, Kelly! You're short, me can teach you! She lost all her weight, hasn't been. She's hot now, so you can make fun of her. How much did you lose? I'm about to lose. I don't have a lot more luskina, my fucking saggy arms. No, about 30 pounds? That's good. That's all you lost. Wait, what? I don't know, it was more.

I weighed myself the other day, I was like 125, but I remember when I, I'd already lost weight and I'd waited myself at 170. You were, I looked at your Facebook picture. She, it's hard to find a fat photo. If you just keep going on a Facebook, and going, I was just, just starts changing. Facebook is best. Like one of those flip-book, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Fat Australian is at the end. Yeah double chin, but those huge fucking titties of God I found him. I found him. I would have fucked you fat. She was a cute. She was a sex

factor. I find her actually more sexy fat than I do this. Well, I'm glad. I'm really glad. There's a reason. I feel more comfortable around your back. Yeah, I'm neat. But the reason why you're on the show though is is that you got your special coming up, which is, when's it coming up? I think you're still talking to Kelly. I don't know. You're just gonna weight loss special TV coming up. Saturday night on Epic's and epic's HD.com.

I don't, a lot of people don't have Epic's, but you can watch it online. I think if you go to epic's HD.com, it's really easy to get. You sign up for trial, it's free, and you can watch it for free. So you watch it online for free. Yeah,'s it's in a lot of uh... a lot of cable systems but it's not in

all of them it's like on direct TV it's on fire it's not a direct even it's on fire so it's not time-water i don't know is it on edit it is it gonna be on edit it or is it gonna be totally on edit it yeah i went with them because a lot of comedians who are respective done stuff with them they get good comics i mean uh... they pay well and then it goes on Comedy Central in nine months We're the first run is epic and that's the via comp so that's how they get people to do it in Comedy Central's via comp Dude that's what I'm saying. Yeah, there's the assistant because epic is smaller network

So a lot of people wouldn't think to do it there, but they they were great to work with where did you shoot you special? Cleveland the Ohio theater why Where did you shoot your special Cleveland the Ohio theater? Why? It's like roll all day. Yeah, I probably didn't I shouldn't have spent that out. I should have really just said it. Cleveland. Cleveland.

Because Boston my first should say Cleveland. First of all, it's Boston, but they have some weird regulation with smoke machines where the such fucking fire code obsessed, you know, it's all that union nonsense after the fire at the great wide show. So they become paranoid about any plug-in stuff. So you need special permits to get smoke machines and you need them before you shoot. Like because it does something to the lens

that just makes the shot better. When you don't shoot with them, it just looks weird. Really? Yeah, you gotta have them before the shoot. Just it does something to the lighting coming down. So we switched venues and Cleveland was a second choice. Well, the Great White was in Rhode Island with the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy. They did pyro and Clevver was a second choice. The great way was it in Rhode Island when the guys were pirates. They did pyro techniques in like a

dungeon was like six. Yeah, the station. I did comedy there. You did? Yeah, right. The night after. Pushes. Off-cake. Fucking still taking the charge off the fucking bottom of the floor. How do you pick up a girl at the station with a vacuum cleaner? Hello? That can be a 9-11 joke as well, but it's a little more touchy. You're gonna have the right audience. I saw a video of that. Did you see this video of that fire from the outside?

And it's fucking it's they show people running and trying to get out and they're like there's literally people half out the door But the pressure was so intense from the people pushing that they they people are trying to pull them the rest of the way out the door They couldn't get them out the door. Jesus how many people died that fun. I want to Yeah, a couple hundred it was I was nasty one man. That's why I fucking hate panicking crowds I don't want that's why I don't like concerts really Like I went to a van Halen concert when I was a kid and it was general admission at a I fucking hate panicking crowds. I don't like concerts really. Like I went to a Van Halen concert when I was a kid and it was general admission at a baseball stadium.

It was like drank too. And then remember I ran to the front row. I was like, oh my god, I'm looking at Eddie's, got the cigarette in, and then all of a sudden I feel the crowds start pushing and I panicked, like a little girl. I'm drunk and I'm about to cry in the front row of Van Halen.

And I had to shimmy my way over to the, like out of the front row, because I just started panicking. I can't, because they don't give a fuck. No, they're crushing. No, they're really shit-faced, fucked up. And they'll kill a little fucking cutie with a, with a,

with a Bolo tie and a fucking mullet. They're all running with the devil. Who's that? Oh, that thing, that stepped on my last. That would have been a big one. Oh shit, yeah, we're taking photos and video too. We're gonna put on that. Well, we might as well jump. You're still going with this huh? That's a good one. Yeah So you did just casual in Cleveland. Yes. How many shows did you do? Two? You did two shows. Yeah, shows yeah and you sell them out they sold out quickly i sell well in cleveland is another reason i want to do

it is because uh... do you make the money on the tickets i did on this one because i didn't use an audience coordinator so i knew i could just sell them um... but yeah not a lot of times you don't make it when you use audience coordinate you don't like it i did the audience court or audience coordinator somebody that they they hire to get an audience for you like um... when i did uh did monster rain. It was in DC We had tickets, but you had to order them online, but they were free But we had an audience coordinator who kind of I won't let them seat certain people up front like I don't want

Like an Asian girl up front and a black girl up front and a Jewish girl up front and a white guy Like a lot of times comedy central will do that just to make it look like a... Diverse and... Yeah, but that's not my audience. And I'm like, I went nuts after the first show. It was just fucking 19 ball guys with goatees. That's what I want. You know, I want a bunch of... Do you see a front?

Yeah. Wearing a motorhead shirt and a metallic, it just goes to the bruh. That's exactly what my audience is. Yeah. There are a bunch of fucking creeps and pantarashirts. I don't need to see the fucking reaction shots too. I made this special dark. I wouldn't let them like the audience

I got Louis and I talked about that a while ago and he suggested that and he was right because you people are more comfortable In the dark laughing like a comedy. Yeah, I don't need that. I don't need to fucking see the audience We don't need to see the audience the I don't want to see some shit and then they always cut away like a point where I've missed something They fight it. They fuck calling on that on the HBO special what he was pissed because they lit the audience. Oh really? They lit the yeah both shows they lit up the audience and it's like you used to doing it in the dark We're in the dark and you do your show You don't want to see them and then you put those lights on it's like that's the end of the fucking show

I fucking was so angry because I was specific I wanted to sound like I was an edgier guy. You know, some of you have bombs like this guy is dangerous. Oh, this guy. But I said I want the audience. We went through lighting cues. And when I walked out, Lenny Marcus was the opening act. They needed a few cutaways. Fucking Lenny.

Yeah. Fucking love that. He's great. Lenny's funny man. He's very funny. This letterman was great. Lenny's funny man is very fun. It was great I was really good. Lenny's a funny guy. It's so funny. You always bring Weird like people you don't think that you would open for you. Yeah, you have a lot of chicks that open for you You still have al jaxon all Jackson for a long time

That's why that would be odd his puffy body. Yeah, he really is a drunken sot That's why that would be odd his puffy body. Yeah, he really is a drunken sot But yeah, Amy would kill but then they just move on people move on me You know obviously get more stuff and they want more you know their headliner so they go and Kelly open for you I've never seen Kelly's at. No, that's yeah. Oh, thank you. That's nice Put the pressure on him running again Last week they put you to be last week last week they put you to be last week. They went through one of my

sits and they told me what I'm doing wrong. Brutal. She had a set. Oh, my God. And I said, you want to sit over it. And I said to a manager and he

gave his his his professional opinion and we listened to it. We gave our professional paper. Gatsy said, I think it's pretty amazing that Kelly as a person, because she actually flew half way around the world to do something

she's not good at. So that made Bird Jackson. He said it as a compliment, he's a funny comic. He's moving out like, you know? Oh, okay. Oh, poor Kelly. So you had all your people in the thing, but did they have people,

well, you have to go through the Cleveland locals. Of course, the Union guys, the local Union guys, and I thought Cleveland, they were kind of cock suckers. You know, they just, they'll, you know, ball break in Union guys and... Do you think it's just any Union? No, I mean, they can be, but they don't do much TV and now I understand why I was really furious Because it's like we're bringing you a show we're putting a lot of money in yeah

And they're breaking balls about a five minutes we needed to do the way we got to get the guy down from the rigging We're gonna have to start charge it was like one of those jerk off one of those fucking Why you sure go off guys? Why is that? I was on stage because I was doing I was doing light stuff So I had to do clothing and see if it matched. But anyway, they fucked up my light cue on the first show. I was hoping Anthony came and they were in the 30th row. And I'm on stage, and I'm doing my act and I can see them the whole time.

The first show I was Hanesidal. I was so angry that I went off stage and I went ballistic because they fucked up the lighting cue. So the second show, when you see it, is pitch black. They got very dark. So most of the show the lighting queue so the second show when you see it is pitch black They got very dark so most of the show we cut from the late show and the early show It's only stuff on the stage But they do that audience shit so they can edit it makes editing easier whenever they cut to someone covering their face Edit something and that's so they just cut to an audience But I'm like do it. They do it in the reverse. You don't need to go to the audience you cut from the fucking back

I've seen them fuck that up too where people like comedy's central to be like, I was visiting my mother and it cuts her person like Right around the setup. Yeah, like just dying The guy before me. I don't know his name. He fucking took a hot one because it was a lot of Owen A fans And I went out and fucking annihilate and then when I saw the specials he did great they just used my crowd yeah they took the guys they took the people that were there to see me my laughs they gave him my laughs I was like that's not his laugh that's my laugh I remember you said it's like your family going nuts for them yeah but that that's fucking weird man that's that's that's that's weird that they they don't just do what the fuck you want to do.

Well, it was a mistake by the lighting. It was a mistake. They hit the wrong cue because they had cues timed out. This cue that in the walkoff one, and they fucked up. They left Lenny's lighting on. I told them they can go brighter with him because they wanted to film a few reactions. So I'm like, I don't want to be a difficult asshole.

So they did that and they just left his lighting cue on. But I a well-lit room like that I hate the way it looks and it's all I see when I watch people special I should not be able to look out 20 rows and see what people are wearing yeah you know what the fuck is it's the ones they did for showtime I figured it was the pit bull whatever the fuck I'm sorry they did great guy I like him I slaps like yeah, they did great guy I like Richard Jennings they did oh god, I think him Jennings there's no Richard Jennings what is Richard Jennings was Richard Jenny oh shit He's dead. Yeah, I killed himself. It was the guy that was on the show the other one a what's his name Kevin Pollock Kevin Paul Okay, Kevin Pollock. I'm I'm sorry I'm innocent Kevin Pollock that's a big mistake that be great special

Richard Jennings sounds like a real estate agent yeah it was actually the Pitbull holding Richard Jennings body uh uh what's his name the pitbull there and then Kevin Pollock and Kevin Pollock but they all did the same stage it was all the same stage, same setup. You could tell it was like they just one after the other, or at three different nights, it was just a little different lighting here and there. Yeah, it's terrible.

Yeah, it was a show time. It was like, what the fuck is this? And you could see the whole audience. Right. The whole fuck, it was almost like a hotel theater. You ever did like this hotel theater was like an in-wister? They have like a... Oh, just in a wister. Yeah, it was a hotel theater. You ever did those hotel theaters like in Worcester? They have like a,

or just in Worcester. Yeah, it was fucking awful. Yeah. You're act, you're jokes too. You can actually edit you because you're pretty precise with your material. Yeah, but it's long, a lot of it's longer. I'm not good at doing quick set up punchlines.

So like if you have to edit something, it can be harder because you have to take the whole bit out. If you don't have a good edit point, it's hard to take like the 30 seconds out here and pull it from the late show. I've had to go through that too, and that's kind of a pain in the ass. You fuck with the crowd at all,

would you say anything to them? You just come on up. No, somebody said a girl says something to me. I joke to the chicken, the audience, who piped up and we left that in, but you can't see her. I mean, she's, you know, some dumb shit that in those a few people yapping,

but we had them tossed. So you went out? Yapping. Just yelling radio stuff, they do. And then dummies. So you went out and from front to back, just did the hour that you had. Yeah, I did about an hour or five on the first show

and about an hour, 20 on the late show, just to give it yourself something to pull. Because it's like weird. You see Patrice's special, and he fucked off. You know, he came out and talks to the crowd. And it would be harder to edit his special, because you know every show is not going to be the same. It's not going to be the same point.

And he's fucking off saying this. And he says things differently each time. But I watched the clip you just tweeted yesterday. Oh, the Sandusky. It was funny clip. Yeah, I hate the fact that the first where they put up was a fucking airport security one. I like the bit.

I like the bit. I like the bit in the context of the special because it lets a lot of people's privacy and I kind of like to call out the whatever. But I don't like it in its own because it's like an airport security bit who gives a fuck. And an overall special, I'm happy with where it fits. But as I went

fuck I was like what are you doing the sandusky's the trials happening fucking put the Penn State stuff out there you have morons so they they they gave me that and then there's one more Penn State one going out tomorrow. They just did it didn't they didn't go over they they don't know. There's a whole list of approved clips and then you know they they promote they when they promote stuff they're like well we have these exclusive we want to show to this and that and then you're just working on the other promos. You're like, oh, okay, okay. But I try to be pretty hands on.

I never like promotion people to just do. I don't trust their instincts. I'm like, they're gonna put out there like the fucking Sandusky bit, the second part of it. There's a brutal ending to the joke that's not in there. It's on the special, but they cut it for the promo. So it's clean.

I'm like, what are you doing? It's fucking terrible. Is that fucking brutal linebacking? You don't understand the people that I want to watch this? Well, they wanted to, they want more people to watch it. It's fucking awfully. And they want it to actually, it's almost like you don't want to put too much of a trailer in the movie in the trailer because people are like, what the fuck? So when they actually see the joke in the special, oh, fuck, and it's really going to hit them. That wasn't why they did it because

that you want, they did a bunch Like they showed me a page with all these approval clips on it and it would list what they are and it was a dirty Dirty dirty dirty dirty and like it's hard to find a clean clip like this is almost nothing in that special that I could show and like I'm doing Leno there's almost nothing in the special I can show a little almost nothing you do a little I have two of them one Friday and one the week after, but they're giving me panels. You know what? One is just as absegment and one is panel. Okay.

But the panel, when they're going to probably show a clip, I have nothing I can do on there. It's all either, because that's funny in itself. That's fucking funny in itself. Yeah, but in itself, that if you show, you should show something else other than your fucking set. Just show your intro coming out. Yeah, you should show that else other than your fucking set to show your intro coming out I actually thought I have a really cool intro Genius yeah, that's a good one. I might show that but then they're like no, you got to show some of this special But it's just too dirty. So maybe just show it with me. Are you saying my idea was genius?

I yes, I ended you guys both had the idea Bobby I will be Bobie had the idea Bobby had the idea we if you want this free beer keep flowing I keep offering to put money in They keep bringing beer up so as long as they bring beer up you can fucking drink another one, but I'm all relax you Alkie up you can fucking drink another one but I'm a relax you alky hey they um what the fuck was I gonna say to you fuck that Joe's idea to show the one about the man from my someone being a genius no no no the beginning of your show your special people don't know about right but it's fucking you

know it's a lot of these beginning of these specials. I've seen a couple of them and they're Atrocious they are awful. I'm just like who the fuck said yes Who do you have any friends that would tell you you're a fuck don't do this? You're a fucking idiot like all your people just said yeah, that's funny You're just an asshole some I'm not gonna mention news But I've seen a couple but yours and I was just saying this because you're fucking one of my best friends, but fucking hilarious Thank you, and you're like are you shitting me? Are you fucking shitting me? The part of it this part of it I haven't talked about But the part people do know about because we talked about it is the fact that I got Aussie to introduce me

Oh people do know I know Shit, but I know But I the reason we talked about it because and plus this is airing by the time this airs, I think later today or whatever, they're going to Twitter, or form me and put on their Facebook page. They Osborne said they would do that. So we got Ozzy to intro me from his house. I got, I was going to shoot, I wrote out an intro.

It was like one page, I emailed to Sharon and she was like, well, he's over in England doing the new Sabbath record. I couldn't believe she said yes to it. I couldn't fucking believe we got him. And then they're like, well, he's coming back on this date and she's like, would you mind doing it in our house? So I'm like, no. And then she fucking sends me the address. I went and we got him to do it.

It took a one minute. I love fucking. I love Norton's Shaggy. No. Oh. Now, did you ever think like being, you're a huge Sabbath fan? Did you ever think the greatest moment? Did you ever think that someday in your career

you would have Ozzy being like, no, it's fucking all in Troy on your special. Never thought it, no, never. Just hard to get him to do that stuff. Yeah, but that's fucking awesome. It's like you're getting Donny Osmond. That would be a huge mess. You would say this.

Yeah. You can see his bedroom. That's just literally the best I could come up with. I didn't have any other songs. I couldn't do it. I'm a little bit closer to the house. Yeah. Oh, no.

Noct. Three times. I'm just going to Orlando. Don't you Orlando, I know. Ah, come on. Don't mess up with Orlando. We just got pitched him on Opiean Anthony. Oh, Tony Orlando.

Yeah, we just got pitched him. I think he's dead. No. Oh no, I hope not. I hope not. Guys, been in everything this. I don't know. I hope so. I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the tree. Candia. Nocturie times. Yeah. Fucking twice on the pipe. Candia. We can make it together. I know what he's talking about. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM No, Phil. You Spanish right? Phil of course he's Spanish. I didn't know the fuck.

He looks like a fucking offbeat Brazilian detective. He really does. Because eyebrows and fucking chin hair connect. He's going to either be Spanish or Armenian, yet two fucking choices. He eats with his hands. So, so you got this crazy, there's another part though. Yeah, that I have.

The epic's almost made me take out. me take out. Yeah, but I fought them And you know what in fairness like you didn't say I fought them I just I petitioned and asked them and they actually agreed they were very reasonable like as far as networks are concerned They were the best I've ever dealt with because usually when you're dealing with that that fucking that faceless machine like no Someone said no standards and practices, but they they I presented my point to them about wanting to keep this thing and they're like all right Let's see what we can do and they came back to like great news we we talked to chairman It's cool like it was that simple like they really are Different than other people I've dealt with that's why I loved and that's why they get a lot of acts to do stuff because

They're not typical of what you deal with with any any any network Do you think Comedy Central might mess with it at all all the first part they'll never show the ozapart course of show but there's certain bits they won't and they don't even need because you know comedy central is just they they self-police for advertisers but none of those cable stations need to fucking police because the fcc has nothing to do with them

yeah because and also a lot of the things they show are that like ten so you could get away with saying yeah yeah anything yeah after eleven though on Comedy Center You can say fuck asshole. What do they do? They used to do that? Like you can say they show one so you have to show Richard prior completely unedited Did they take out when he said nigger do they leave that they bleep that it's amazing They bleep that it's amazing how that word because the fucking that's probably a via com thing

That's probably absolutely but they did that on a bio for prior I watched it was it's I'm not dead yet motherfucker yeah no that's how many central this on the biography just want to let you know is a fitness.com we did not say nigger that was Jim nor but it was a it sounded one it's really fucking crazy that it's like I understand if a guy is saying it just to be shocking when prior used it and the names of his albums the by the biography showing the cover was that niggas crazy

by some tenel nigger those are the two they showed and they fucking blooded out it's like we this this guy you're blurring it for what the fuck are you to make an editorial decision i don't show it then don't show it if you're gonna be out of the way on the trees with tough crowd they they bleeped out you can let in and left in there. That was a funny point Patrice pointed out

So that was in his half hour wasn't it? It was not a tough crowd. It was that end is a tough crowd He had it was it was the Washington sniper. Yeah, I thought every thought it was a crazy white guy I want to be in the nigger in a Buick and they bleeped out Buick because they were at or an advertising Standard in practice is uh... people that are that the worst people at the network because they overthink things they have to justify their job they can't look at and go hey man there's nothing wrong here that they're really are that they're terrible that's terrible that's terrible

fx standards and practice are much better seems fucking real i mean you watch those shows and there's you like a whole new look at a reasonable look at everything louis gets away always sunny in philadelphia gets away with always sunny and Philadelphia. It gets away with a ton of shit. Yeah. A lot of their shows are, I think that's why they've got some of the best programming.

And that's probably what comes from anyone's listening. And that's what comes from the, the president of the company. It's probably why. But that's why they write. That's why they have really good shows. Yeah, Louis has a story about Colin Standas and practices and talking about all the shit. And she's like, yep, that's fine.

Just don't say all this shit together Yeah, that's not piece mail, but just don't say ass fucking shit It's like Hitler and come shit in my throat. I think he couldn't say shit and shit in my throat And that was the one thing she was like now you can't say that Shit there. Yeah, that's a rough one scat stuff like eating scat as a fucking rock one NBC only box Eating stat jokes. It's really funny to think a guy's job is he's like, and that's a pretty like day no Scat jokes no nothing. He's just happy when there's no shitty eating jokes It's funny though because no one you me coming up with you. It's like, you know

You're like you're a fucking edgy mother fucking then you go on a one a But you found a way to get on regular Prime time network television. Yeah, most consistent consistent bases and then you know have these specials too It's fucking it's pretty amazing But well I do mostly Leno and the people there's the misconception is like he's like always so milk toast I get away with way more on that show than I would on any of the other shows. I've done beastieality jokes more on that show than I would on any of the other shows. I've done Beastie Allady jokes, dog paw prints on a girl's hip joke. Like references you shouldn't probably be able to do on late night TV. It was just some dog fucking joke. I

made fun of someone in the audience with getting paw prints off her hips and they allowed that type of stuff to go through and I remember doing letterman and again this is just the networks and what a nightmare. The second letter man I was I was and I wasn't even being a bliger and dick. I said to Eddie like dude you know what I think I'm not the right guy for this set. You should probably give this to someone else because what they wanted me to take out, I thought was unreasonable.

And I'm like, I respect the fact you got a great show. But I'm probably not the right guy because I'm gonna look terrible if I, like there was stuff that just was so soft that they wanted me to take out. But then in fairness, Eddie did go to CBS and they let me do it. But it was one of those things

where it was really hard to get certain things through that you should have been hard. Do you think there was Eddie or do you think there was CBS? I think it was more, I think, because they did allow you to do it. So it's like in my head, I'm like, he wants his, well, he thinks is funny. Maybe, but it might have been, it sounded like network stuff that he had probably seen before.

It probably seemed like sometimes when you're representing the host or the network, you kind of see their pattern. So you just kind of, you say that. And then when he went back to them, he might have presented a good argument. So I don't know, but he said he didn't, and they let me do it. I wonder if I should fucking work on a,

OK, seven minute set. Of course you should. I've never, ever had the desire to do network television comedy. But it's a necessity. It's like, prior did it, carlin did it, like, you know, all the greats did it. Like, and that's why I always, because it's a necessity. It's like prior did it, Carlin did it, like you know all the greats did it, like and that's why I always because it's template. You go fuck it, we don't need it, but you know why? Why is it do for people now though? I mean there's so many people that are doing it that fucking are nobody's that don't have shit,

they have 15 minutes of stuff of material maybe, they just give it away to these people who have this seven minutes and it really does, what does it do for your career? It doesn't do what it used to do. Like it used to be one car, and Freddie Prinz got it, and it's set in the couch, and that made it your start. It doesn't do that, because it's been kind of watered down in this cable, this HBO, and there's Letterman and this fucking color. There's 50 different places to go.

But it's still a place to go and perform in front of three or four million people. And it's a very, very viable promotional tool. It's a necessity to do it. But when I watched Old Pryor on the Tenaitro, he was funny, man. He wasn't as funny as he was on fucking, you know, Richard Pryor live in concert. But he made me laugh. Like, he was a funny dude. But there's something about like, even like, I watch it tell live.

And you're like, what the fuck? And then I watch a tell live and you like what the fuck And then you see him on TV and you like it's not the same He is something happens to certain guys now there is a certain way to do monologue comedy television network comedy They're jokes jokes come like joke jokes set up punch tag comes off better than like a storyteller or characters or you know like a guy like Patrice or a tell with a certain style. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, there's a great a tell set from when Conan first- I think you're actually holding that thought until I was long- I wanted to watch you fail by that. I just-

I saw you be turning red. I was like, don't, yeah, let's let them go. Right when Conan first took over or started doing a show, a tell was like one of the first comics and it's like Classic a tell. It's like a great a tell set. He's wearing like a jacket. It looks like you just probably walked in and went on stage. Right. It's awesome. Now it's a good set. It's from like 95. Yeah, it's real like loose and silly. Yeah, you can be very funny on network TV. You can't get away with what you can in a lot of other places, but that doesn't mean that it's not a real place to go and promote. And people do see you. Well, even the guys from, I mean, the tonight, I mean, I almost booked some, I mean, I

remember Eddie called me, right when Owen A came back on, they were kind of on fire with Letterman. They did, yeah. And then those guys called me up and they were like, they want to see you. What's his name called me? Eddie called me and he was like, yeah, they guys want to see you. And he came down to saw me. It's something happened. It couldn't happen. And then it just faded away. Like he was like, it's just not happening. It happens. Yeah, but there's other shows. It's just Conan. There's Leno. There's Craig Ferguson. There's Fallen. Craig Ferguson, the one show I would love to be on, and they were like, they just want topical stuff, they don't want any edgy stuff at all.

And I was like, him? That's why I love him, he's just fucking out of his mind. Yeah, they were gonna ask me to do it that one time. Like, can he wear a clean? They asked this so, I never did that. Yeah, turn that fucking, I was like, I don't even want to try to do that. Yeah, I'm gonna go clean, fuck off. Yeah, be good that, you get a lot of the dickhead bookers or blockers and stuff But you should still be you should still do it. I've bombed I did Kimmel and I did

What the other fucking do with Carson daily Carson daily I bombed on Carson daily twice You judge you judge late night host by their eye color who's the blue eye guy, you know, he's okay I think he has blue contacts. They're not real blue. Oh really he paints his fingernails too. I think that's a little bit suspect Yeah, he I bombed twice on that and they did that was a worst ever because I remember I bombed the first one the first Minute I sucked and I remember we were down here and everybody knew I did it because I fucking I don't fuck a bubble we all watched it with you Have the volume oh thank God had the fucking close caption the dude wrote Light laughter

Light laughter It's amazing that's so funny, some deaf guy. I was like, that's hilarious. I got it. I was like, they don't know this first joke. Took a hot one. Light laughter. And just saw my face.

You could tell I bombed him. And I did this thing with my arm when I got nervous, because it's a cordless mic. Which I'm not used to. I'm used to having the club and string it out the cord So I would shake my hand like trying to get the cord out So I'm doing this every couple minutes Like this just shaking the mic like this. It didn't dance. I came back in my manager goes look the fuck we do yeah

I did the second time I don't do it happen again. I just shake the mic. You gotta get used to it That's all you just gotta get used to that kind of set Kimmel was good, but it wasn't I F I it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't the best. I mean I don't know. I just I fucking I kind of bombed They're not easy shows Kimmel was not I've done a Carson alien. I think I think I think I did Kimmel to Kimmel was not an easy set I did okay on that I didn't do great So I was on a mark Anthony and somebody else and they weren't there to see me I was on Ryan Reynolds. Oh, I look over the gorgeous man

Reynolds and who's the chick that was married to Kurt Fox Vanessa Williams the NASA Williams and I looked over the couch and go oh my god you're gorgeous and she said thanks I go no, yeah, that's funny, but they cut it out Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, why but they cut it out. Oh really? Why would they cut such a funny spontaneous moment and then I fucking I did the I promoted my club date my Stupid manager he goes yeah, that's good. We're not on Atlanta, but you know that's good people people around people see it and come to Atlanta I promoted a date that Kimmel's not even in fuck. Is he in Atlanta now? I don't know. Yeah, he wasn't.

He wasn't. What was this? It was, this is a while. I've got four years ago, four or five years ago, maybe longer. Oh. But I remember, another thing too, is that when you come off, this happened to me so many times, happened to me my first gala in Montreal.

Most overrated city on earth. I love Montreal. I know you do. I in Montreal. Most overrated city on earth. I love Montreal. I know you do. I love Montreal too. Overrated city on earth. What do you know we had a blast? It's okay for audiences. I did a gala too. The gala sucked because the audience of the city itself. A bulf. Just an overrated place. I have an okay time. I have a much better time in 50 other I'd much rather be in Boston New York San Francisco Yeah, but I mean, you know, I think Montreal is the fucking New York Boston San Francisco of Canada It's have you been to other places again? For Vancouver's gorgeous I got blown in Vancouver in a 1990 I went for a sober convention to Seattle and I went to Venice. I just started staying up

I went to Vancouver and I got blown for my last $80. I had $80 bucks left, and I got blown in an alley. And I gave like 60 to the girl and her friend 20. And she's like, you can pat my bum for 20. I pat her friend's ass while she, me and my buddy went in and we both got blown by two girls in an alley for my last 80. That would be the next book.

I pat my bum for 20 bucks. I'm glad your priorities were straight, though. You're at a fucking sober convention. Yeah. Get blown in an alley. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we went up there for a couple of days

after. It was a fun trip. Vancouver's got some good sex. They had a comedian get arrested recently for something he was doing on stage. I say here's all you have. That's stupid human rights. We're going to go.

Canada look. Canada's an overrated country. As far as people think Canada's this fucking great place but there were there horrible free speech they had that awful human rights commission which goes after like on people who say quote unquote mean things on stage right there the worst man that the fucking worse fucking i'm a big fan i like being up there and i'd like to cry did the whole tour can the other babies one side to the other and a blast and i love i, the gal is suck in Montreal because they're televised and they light

the whole audience's lit for filming. So you go out there and you fucking, it's just, I've bombed. Last year I did it. I did mediocre. And the only reason why I did mediocre is because everybody before me took a hot one. Then Bob Marley came out, you know him, right? Yeah, I know. I don't know if I'm a meta- I'm a meta- meta- meta. And the other reason why I did mediocre is because everybody before me took a hot one then Marley came out, you know him, right? Yeah, I know we I don't know if we met I might have met him I don't know you fucking guy does not he came up with a hoodie and I just a Boston hat and just fucking annihilated Just fucking Clarks out all around school a back from a beans and fucking plus

I'm gonna say I'm gone, my fuck, I'm either dead. And just boom! It's like just a little bit odd. But this is when you know you fucking stink. The first gala I did, I walked off stage. I actually bought a suit. I was up there a long time. Oh, this is gonna go well. I bought a suit.

I swear, I smacked frost so you should look nice for the gala. But you would have felt uncomfortable. I fucking never were a suit again. I wore a suit. I actually got it made and tailored. course you did, but it's still Right on target I fucking I just took a hot one. It just did it work I listened to like my manager at the time for the set and it was just a shit

set at it and believing and there was this one joke where I had to do this thing like walk and if I didn't fuck me dude and I remember I came off and I was sweating and fucking Kevin Hart went on after me. Swore talked about shit, shit not a baby baby shit. Fuck this fuck that annihilated I didn't swear once because they told me I couldn't swear and I walked off my manager goes, dude you look good I was like look fucking look good. That's when you know your bomb when they actually yeah, you look I mean you fucking blow but you look good you look good in the suit I did one gallon there and it was okay actually. I mean I'm going back up this year This Bob Sagitt's hosting something and I'm doing a show up

There's the festival I'm shit on it, but I'm doing it. I love it. Yeah, it's okay I I always kind of have like a resentment against them because they never gave me anything coming up and they made me anything either Well, that's why I resent them so They love you now, right? They like me now. I'm they acknowledge that I'm doing okay now, but they don't want to love me Yeah, but you've been up there every fucking year. No, it's for the nasty show. And I'm glad I did it when I did it last year because Draldo hosted. So it was kind of good to be able to see him, but it was. Whatever, man, it was fucking the Gala was okay. It was okay. But, uh,

uh, what's his name? When I did, I had maybe a six and fucking John Pinnett went on after me and they love him up there And that guy is awesome. I could I know who Pinnett is I've never worked with him. Yeah watching him work that room He is really great, man. Yeah, watch them at Carolins like about a year ago It's son of bitches good. Fucking he's really funny. He doesn't fuck around. No, he doesn't play games Me he's open for Sinatra like he's a real fucking standup He's weird because he's he's he's a real fucking stand up. He's one of those guys. He's weird, because he's fucking kills it. Everybody knows his name, and you think that he would

just be this force in the business, but he's never, I mean, he's done a couple movies. He did a movie with Dane Torque. He's in the last sign field. Yeah, he's the guy. He's the guy that gets broke. OK, but that's it. He should have his own fucking sitcom, don't you think?

Maybe can't act. I don't mean I'm not a machine. It was all right. I saw him on that movie played a monk like a fat monk He was funny. I mean, he's funny. Did he lose weight? Do we lost a lot of weight? He's still big. I don't know I still beg I mean, why so I mean here go you still I mean he's a big guy Yeah, dude. I close with a bit on gluten because he can't eat gluten And I'm like who the fuck comes out with a fucking closing bitch Because he can't eat gluten and I'm like who the fuck comes out with a fucking closing Great it was great. Yeah, I mean to pull off I couldn't do 30 seconds on gluten He did about good 12 minutes. It was very impressive fucking mom Bob Molly's a monster

I've never seen him before oh god. He walked out and just he came from another gig and just everybody's fucking kind of shit in the bed Huge gal. he just walks up fucking, and just kills it. Kills it with some dog shit about some, his dog and I don't know what the fuck, and he just drops the hand, I got it, and then takes his sweaty hat off and just walks off. Everybody else is dressed to the nines,

he's just wearing shit, he's gonna, he's smart too, he's got it on, he said fuck LA, went back to he's got it on he said fuck LA went back to Maine sold all his houses went back to Maine bought a big house and he's got an RV he does arenas in Maine does arenas in Maine the Hampshire Vermont New England and he pulls his RV up and just parks at the arena you have not done a good job of selling me on that being a smart move.

He parks his RV in Maine and does the theater. I hear his name a lot, so he probably makes a shitload of money. I think he makes crazy money. Just man alone. He sells out a rea- have you ever worked the Portland Comedy Connection? I've never got it.

It's for the main. Portland, Maine. There's like posters of hit, like, you know, the improv has all these posters are like rock and sign But it's just all different Bob Marley posters They have a case of his CDs and they start the show with welcome to the Portland comic ocean home of Bob Marley and people go Hey, shit, he's each day. I took a Tedliner and then it'll just he doesn't even do that club anymore. He just does

He owns some of that you're a reader. He might he's probably almost up. Yeah, but he it's crazy He I mean I I'm my or guy That just a fuck it. I'm just going live with my family. He's got a kids. Oh, okay wife He's got a huge fucking house. He builds furniture. He does weird shit. He's done with the business. He's the Selman 72 Sorry, she's like okay. He has a kiosk at the mall. The Portland mall, he has his own kiosk.

It just sells his merch. Yeah. Get the fuck out. All the time. Like 24, whatever, the fuck the saying is. Did he stand there? I think it's his mother. I think it's mother.

Literally. His mother runs the kiosk. She probably makes all the money at the mall. I don't know. He probably gave her that little thing. He's like, just making it. Yeah, BJ Panded for his mom. His mom runs the merch and all the fucking fan stuff. con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos,

monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. How many M's? Yeah, that was big in MMMA. MMM? It was awful. It was a two M's connected. It was MMMA. We're going to Silver. Silver. Silver.

Yeah, Silver, not Silver. Silver. Silver. From fucking Boston to Selva. Selva, don't. Selva and fucking jail, son and kid. Yeah. Oh, I can't fucking wait.

Yeah, I hope it's a good fight. What do you mean, you hope it's a good fight? You never know. Yeah, it hope it's a good fight. What do you mean? You hope it's a good food. I never know. Yeah, it could what could make it bad Anderson Silva dropping them in the first round in the first Minute of the first round. Because then yeah, that's true. It would be. I'm not gonna lie. They got a lot, oh my god. There's a bummer. And they just started making it out. Yeah, slip it in. Hey.

I get Anderson's tightly shorts. There's black and yellow. Took out his fucking uncircumcised Brazilian idol. I don't know if it's gonna go that far, but. Half the MMA fans are like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This is what we won this it's pretty gay sport started with a slow clap they did that in the movie Bruno I did yeah what a fuck that was real too did I just rip off a Bruno yep I'll Bruno I'm thinking uh I'm sorry

I'm thinking I'm thinking of uh Borat so there's still a chance that I ripped off no you didn't I'm just an asshole ripping off a fucking Haven't seen the movie it was a gay guy Bruno gay and he reformed himself He went to like this Catholic place with a reform you to not be fucking queer and he got it He comes back months later as a mullet and he's a fucking red he goes in the ring with this other guy They're supposed to fight, but it's a real one of those backwoods country MMA it's like a rage in the cage or something like Henley told me about that because he was the MC exactly yeah

yeah and then they go to the middle and they just start making out and they're full on just it gets awkward quick they pull each other's clothes up and they're throwing chairs. They're fucked They just want to get in and kill these two fucking guys and they just making out the music and they they fall on the ground There's baby oil on that is hilarious on the guys in the fucking stands They had to lock vixen they did lock the cage because like from the inside, because people were like trying to get in to the fucking... And they had a secret way out. They had a secret way out of the cage. Like an exit. They had built something like that. Oh really? Yeah, and they had, they're so smart, they had them sign something coming in. There was a giant sign.

Signed real things at Fags. No, it was a giant thing on the wall for one thing for everybody to read a bunch of writing and in there It said you are being filmed from movie but I may videotape everyone signing and you couldn't go unless you sign So everyone signed off that they were okay being in the shit. Yeah, it's really smart the way they did it So no one knew there were no fun facts with Jim nor You'll be right back with the way why KWD? So what are you going? I thought you were that those real? I was a fucking joke. That was a fucking joke. I know.

I was, I was, I was yes and again. That's not my real voice. I'm going to ask all. So you special comes out, uh, this comes out Monday. So you special comes out when Saturday night, I think it's eight or, oh no, it's maybe nine or ten. I don't know what time in the sun, epics. And so nobody's going to know the other, and the other beginning of it, right?

No, it won't be the biggest deal in the world but it's just a cool it's it was a I'm glad I did it because the first person who read it who is um in the company went oh this probably won't be very funny but I kind of felt like yeah and I this will work oh it worked yeah it's fucking work no excited to see it yeah you you haven't seen it hmm it's fucking great it's really great I mean the Aussie thing is fucking just the the tops. It's like it's just crazy like you brought up It's like I can't believe because I know you've been an Aussie fan. Yeah, like we're just hanging at the Boston You're a fucking Aussie. Oh, yes, it's a nice cool

Just a nut and now he's like is your your friend with the guy. I know Sharon better like I know Ozzy knows me because I've talked to him enough But I'm closer with Sharon than Ozzy, to be honest. You know something really cool, I thought, when you did down in dirty and you had fucking Lemmy, as a DJ, when you did that, I was like, that is, I love Motorhead and Ozzy, that's fucking awesome.

Was he weird to work? Cause Lemmy, I've seen all the documentaries, it seems like he only reacts when he needs to react. Was that weird when you would like, Well, it was weird to meet him, like I had met him briefly before, but when you walk in it all he wants in his writer is like all He wants his Jack Daniels and sour cream and I'm a potato chips. I don't know how he's alive and Marbrose, right? In Marbrose he smokes like a fucking animal

Um, but yeah, he's an easy guy. He was just like whatever man. We just chatted. I got I got a cool picture of me and him and He's his kids fucking stockings at Christmas office moles I got I got a cool picture of me and him and his kids fucking stockings at Christmas office moles Fuck do I I can't stand risen mold that's the beauty of him is he doesn't give a fuck He has him he doesn't care. He just doesn't care. Banks checks takes polaroids of them. He's the greatest Yeah, he came down here. He was right here actually We shot the opening for down a dirty right on on the side street and we had a bunch of different things But I shot it with Lemmy and the fucking band in the wild was going crazy because he was outside. Yeah, yeah, real quick. Would you fuck Kelly? Oh, Kelly. There you go. It's hard to say because I,

if I just saw Kelly without knowing she was a stand-up you sure, fuck her. Would you fuck Dan? No, okay. He's a good pal bottom. Push back. I don't like that. I'm too much of a submit. I need to put my nipples Aggression from the bottom Talking about on my today. I don't know. I don't get nipple play No, I mean guys love the nipples we play with is the fact and it's like the black guy I love that shit. He said black guy. So he's gone It's like the black guy He's a black guy so he's gone But the last one didn't like it at all. He's like no, no, I'm like really?

Yeah, you like playing with the how do you play with the nipples pantom? Yeah, do you suck on their nipples? Whatever they want it's other a sucker a little too or a little play or a little tongue You know like a slight bite like I can do it a slut butt You know like a slight butt. Okay, I do it a slut butt Slut bite a slight bite A slight butt a slight butt No, I'm pretty apathetic towards a nipple play. I'm a big penis play guy Rest is nonsense. I need the nipple though, man. I really do have connected it. Really?

Yeah, I don't know why. It's fucking crazy. Interesting. I fucking hate it. I just get down to my cock. Get down to my balls. I like my asshole. There you go.

Yeah. I guess I fucking love it. You pussy, is it? Sometimes you're fucking. I'm not. Fuck me, my pussy. That's what you said. I was chicken with me in my asshole.

And I was fucking peeling my legs back. And I went, yeah, eat that pussy. She looked up from my ass, so she was, she's called a pussy. I was like, hey, you can do it. Yeah, yeah, believe me, much rather I've been fucked by a tranny. That's why you were saying that. You share? Yeah. I couldn't get fucked by a tranny though.

I just feel bad. Why, for coming too quickly? I couldn't get fucked by a trader though. I just feel bad. Why, for coming too quickly? Nice. Nice. No, I just wouldn't be a look at Dawn again. Like, just knowing that I had what I'm doing to her has been done to me. I just feel

But so you have sex with her ass. No, I don't fuck dogs ass Oh, and then the case me getting fuck. I got it But you might want to experience that I'm a chick with a strap on you out of my I had a girl want to do a strap on Back when I was on around 24. She was like I'll do it But you buy it. I was like I'm not buying it buy it like it was about money. We were both nickel chases What you want me to buy the dildo Couple of skin flants My ex tried to fuck me with one many times. She just couldn't do it. It was my I couldn't take it I would of you like I just my ass is to tell what kind of dildo was it that was a strap on

No, no, she had a strap on look at our cock. Oh, Jay's fist Yeah, the heisman He didn't let it go you didn't let your ex go for and do it. I tried, but I just couldn't take it. You just, you bought, couldn't take it. Yeah, it was a physical thing. I just couldn't have water please. Yeah, absolutely.

It wasn't a homophobia like, you know, out of there, I just, it was just hurt. Would you let, would you fuck somebody the guy in the ass if you wanted it? I don't know. What do you mean, you can't get it? I don't know, there's something fun about being out of, like, when you see what guys like when they fuck a girl like

If I got to do that, I don't know I'd probably rather just be with a chick. You want to round? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about for a rollie-poly body So you would you would rather strap on and fuck a girl than fuck a guy? Maybe yeah, yeah, all right. Let me ask you question if you're gone Yeah, you to fuck him in the ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah Is it We want you to fuck him in the ass with the crap on. Which is for shit and giggles. Would you do it? It depends on how we make it. Literal shit and giggles.

We fight five each other at the end. You should have shit on your dick and giggle. Shit on me. I don't know. It depends if it was like a good like, oh, this is hot. I would probably do it because it's hot. Well, what would it take to be hot?

Yeah, what it is? Roses is lighting is inviting there at the moment doesn't sound very hot But I don't know you never know in the moment, you know enough boredom enough alcohol Do you have a lot of it? Do you have a bottle of wine or a dildo and vibrator you don't have a dildo I have one of those but I don't you I Arsenal Look at assassin I've got the suitcase and just pull everything out. Go right Forget you have to deal with it. It's there, but I don't use it where where is it? It's in the bottom drill color. Is it it's blue? Oh, I was gonna guess black or purple No, the real one is purple the one that I use is purple you have two. Yeah, yeah like you have a fucking suitcase full of these things.

Well, it sounds like there's a judge coming from there. There's a drunk bomb man. I'm not judging him. You guys, he was always me. And always turns to me being an asshole. You probably still jerk off more than I do. I'm sure of it. That would be outrageous if you just

had a little deal going through. Yeah, but I'm lazy. What am I going to do? He's like, it can't have that kind of time. I'm going to be in and out. Is it because you're lazy, it's quicker to jerk off with a vibrator or is it better than it? I just imagine her throwing it in and doing other stuff. She's like, I'm going to have to have a multitask for more oxygen. I'm going to do it in the morning. Yeah, but is it dildo better or a vibrator better?

Vibrator. Vibrator. Vibrator. Yeah. Yeah. Because I had it before I had the vibrator. Did you use both? You used both.

I used both. I used both. I used both. I used both. I used both. I used both. I used both. I used both. I used both. Yeah, but is it is it dildo better or Vibrator is better vibrate. Oh, yeah Because I had it before I had the vibrator. Do you use both you? Simultaneous no, I've used like a I You don't use both. I don't grow you need she needs something in her pussy and if you and her clipping

I know her too and if you and her clip being I know her to Now I'm going to these little bullet things I've already but that yeah, but I only use that if it's like if I'm going away I don't have like the room to pack it in the city I really did I had the joke in my act about losing it in my wife vagina I really happened I had that I just bought I bought the cheap one instead of the good civil bullet I bought the key chain one I just took the key chain part off. It was like $10 cheaper. They put I was just talking with a rabbit's foot

It's gonna be a good look. Give me a cereal box. I got it I had it on a clip and I pushed down and it Bent and then I pinched and it was oh Just and I had to go in and get it's head to do the surgery Killed the fucking moon. Yeah, we're just giggling while I was fucking Relax relax relax just that much of that Like Bay Bay Bay I got it. Let me get it. I'll then then it turned into a power play move. I got it

Hey, we've a maybe we've had a condom get stuck up a girls Kleka was just what the player is going to stop What's a Girls Kleka a Kleka yeah The Kleka anyway It's never happened to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me.

It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me.

It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna happen to me. It's not gonna to me ever. Sure it is. No, it's what I've got. Never happened to me.

I know girls. No, I fucked. No, but I know girls that it's like gotten lost. And I have to like sit on the toilet and wait for it to fucking fall out. Have you guys ever lost? I've had one stuck in there. I'm trying to have the clock out. Yeah, and then you guys gotta pull it out and that's an uncomfortable one.

What do you do? Like get a torch and put your fingers in there and sit. I'll leave it. I'll leave. Fuck you. I've left them in. I knew it fell off. And I left it in. Yeah. Yeah, because I just, I've left them in I knew it fell off and I left it in yeah Yeah, cuz I just had the ring you know like it snapped off and I just had the actual elastic part

Yeah, fuck it. She'll figure it out that Comes out like a year later. It's a Mold growing on it man. I'm not fucking doing. I'm not going it. I do it for my wife But I'm not gonna surgery for some broad. I'm fucking I was just fucking no way just leave it in there Probably comes out with nine others Different countries she got it. She got a pussy made out of sandpaper. I just fucking locks them up passports stamps on them You know in the inside of a fucking box. Let's just be honest this just yeah It's just all these bumps and no

gets and crannies and it's just and then it gets swollen and she does something with her stomach and it fucking fills out. This sounds like the testimony of someone who was molested. That what happened, there's just all there's some gross bumps. You gotta put your fingers in there which is smells and she says she won't let you return the library book until you do it I had a good molestation story I wish I fucking librarian or teacher fuck you got a nice steak out of it I got a blue that guy first day Choice cuts that's good I can always smell when I smell dick. It's that dude How old you when you when I blew the dude for a stay? Yeah

I was 18 no Shit, so you're not enough to play first grade something like that maybe before first grade Wow, no, I'm not a fucking home. That doesn't qualify as a molestation story. Yeah, that's molestation Yeah, I wish she had two though, so she had a better one with bells and whistles That was a guy 30 Some fucking hairy chase guy looking like fucking hairy chit. I don't know. I got into it. I don't want to hear some fucking innocent Boyish explorations

Bobby Stake over your eye like a fucking abuse victim Bring it over I never had a guy a man molest me. Thank fucking God. I don't know what I'd do if I fucking remember that shit. It was just all, it was all kid shit. It was all like other dudes, but it was bad because nobody told me about sex. So then you learn about sex and you're like, oh, I'm a fucking homo because I jerked my

friend off and I suck the dude up first day. But I like chicks. And then you're like, oh, where the fuck am I? And then when I got sober, finally a guy told me he goes, tell me a deepest darker shit and I told him I go, um, I fucking blew a dude for a stake and I jerked my friend off and I don't find any goes, hang on one second, Gary, get this kid, get that, you got like five kids. Do you have a jerk you friend off? Yeah, of course. So I was like, uh, yeah, fuck you. You're not a faggot relax. And it was like nine dudes, yeah, fuck you. You're not a faggot relax

Huh, and it was like nine dudes who did the same shit So and you did it till you blew your friend under a there's no reason to rope me I read the book I know Underneath the stairs yeah, it's a piece of the book. You didn't write a book about it It wasn't a fucking yeah, but I don't like Bob all of a sudden feeling uncomfortable with this confession Oh, yeah, I'm looking at me know what I'm saying handball that's here. It's got to shut the car just staring at me talking I just felt uncomfortable. I don't know you little guy under a porch. Yeah, my friends and they would do it. Did he blow you to? Of course Of course I love the mouth and the pool. I like it. What did you say he pissed in my mouth on the swimming pool?

Underwater or a bottom underwater I was young. He was my age or you're all he might have been in second-grad might have been first or maybe even younger We were in the public pool and he made me go under the water and blow him not that I mind it I mean I enjoyed it around where I think so. Yeah, it was in the afternoon. What if you fucking the life the lifeguard I don't know what to do a little fucking flat face kid blowing another kid in the what are you? I told you that again and he said he wouldn't but then he did it again So you learn you can't trust him. He was not a reliable person Not a straight shooter. That's fucking hilarious.

You've never done it. You're not going to admit to that. No, I wouldn't if I did. I don't know. Nothing. What's the closest thing? Yeah, me and my friend used to, when I was like third grade, we used to dry fuck stuff, like like, let's pretend this fucking teddy bear is a hot chick or like something.

Okay, dude. No, that doesn't. I do. I blew it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He's front piston is mouth in a public.

But you were saying if anything, what am I supposed to say? I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to agree. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to agree. I'm not going to agree. You humped a teddy bear. Is there anything like you how old your friends dick while they took a pistol?

Anything? What the fuck? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I can make it okay. No, I do do anything. You never clack us. I don't know if I can I'm sick or late. I was like waited for a while. Did you never slam clackers with another lady? No, I nearly had a freeze in. That's the worst.

I think. I don't even know that. Two guys are really high. I'd just taken a few pills and snorted some pills as well. Hey. And then it was like climbing off the walls. And then it was two guys. I was friends with and we started getting into it. And I was like, I was like, slow down, slow down.

Yeah. So what do you mean getting into it? Like I was making out with one of them, the other one had his hands in my pants. And then what? And then it kept going. And then we would be kept going where? Well, you know, making out this one,

then making out with that one and then hands. Did you take this dick out? No. But before that all happened, I, something happened where I just kind of like, like, I don't know, I just, I wasn't hiding more, I went, oh, I think I know what's about to happen. The thing it was is that I really liked one of them, I was in love with him, I loved him to death and I didn't want to be, I don't want to be in a threesome because I knew that I would never be with him if I was in a threesome with him.

We would never be in a relationship. So I stopped. Were you ever in a relationship with him? No, he married He after we broke up he got you dated them. Yeah, but after but really briefly after we broke up He got with his ex-girlfriend before me and she felt pregnant straight away Well, here's the deal. It's been fucking blew him and his friend. You'd still be in the mix No, I think I love you party. Yeah, I'm party like that. No, you've never been molested now. I got no good stories You never jerk when he friends off come on You never jerked off to jerking when he friends off no no got nothing I had a buddy I'm what you said his name, but maybe he's listening

I had a buddy who when he first started jerking off thought it was like cool He was like he thought he was the first one so he's like watch this I'll jerk off. And he jerked off in the room while me and my other friend were in the room. And we were like, now this is a bummer. Like this is not over. This is so good.

I'm really pumped up. Yeah. And he kept being like, I can't come. But like, you'll see. Like, you'll see. And we were like, yeah, yeah, we jerk off too. Like this isn't, it was like seventh grade, sixth grade. It's like, maybe it was fifth grade.

This is a bummer, yeah. Yeah, he was just standing out and jerk off. And we were just like no so we were just like looked at the wall and talk to each other What a f**king man. Are you sure? You guys are a pro. Are we like yeah? We sure was endless. Grimes are going this is really funny Well, I'm not seeing around I just saw that in front of like a kid who kind of has a shit together. No, that's not cool. Whoa Oh, well this was a safe place.

Fuck yeah. All right, what are you gonna do? We're all fucked up. So, Norton, you got your show coming out. I saw a little clip of it. You saw some of it, too. You saw a few. Yeah, I saw it.

Yeah, they put a couple clips up on the laugh spin. It looks great. It looks fucking great. I love the actual, because you know, you see these specials, they fucking all look the same. Like I said, they shot three of the same specials they fucking all look the same like I said they shot three The same specials at showtime the same theater with this it just fucking blows my mind that somebody doesn't give a fuck enough To care what the thing looks like when you put it out and I saw you as it looks fucking great

Thank you real looks good. You look good to me. You love my fucking fat head I parts some of the shots I like and when it gives out a close up I just want to decapitate myself fucking hate my fat head. I don't have a fat head. I do in this special I don't I saw it. It's okay. No you lost weight dude. You look good. You look good on the special Thank you. You fucking kill and it's uh, it's a what's the name of it? Please be offended Please be offended and you get a poster that came out with that too. Where is that at oh the uh? At the venue. Yeah, no, we just it was Live on they sold out. Yeah, that was just limited

Shit was you see me one. I don't think so. I don't know if I have one it was This artist made these things the gig gig poster and I sold it at the venue and then we sold them online They sold that's it was just one run. All right, great. The gig poster was a fucking amazing Yeah, Danny Danny Ross from opianethany Kind of got me the artist and he's that's his thing on the side and he's really good. Yeah, he got he got me my my you know what dude when we did the live show at Gotham, he did the gig poster for us for that too. The shit sells out like that. How did it go when you did the Gotham? It was awesome. It was fucking great. We had Bonnie come down. It was Joe DeRosa, Bonnie and then we had Bob DeBono be Vos,

because Vos was fucking, he annihilated his Vos. So I'll cry, I'll cry, and he knows his act. We're just brilliant, that he knows his fucking jokes. But it's coming out, this is, I'm fucking excited, man. It's gonna be you. I love when my friends have, especially, Patrice was last year, I thought it was fucking great. Now you, I love when my friends have, especially, Patrice was last year, I thought it was fucking great.

Now you, so make sure you check out the special, this Saturday night on Epox. Yes. Find out where that is, Google it, call your cable provider, or you can watch it on epics.com. EpicsHG.com is the easiest way to do it. If you don't have epics, just go there and you can get it.

Yeah, and everybody who's listening to this falls, Norton, you know where it is. So I'm probably reiterating what you're already fucking now we're gonna wrap this podcast up this is special edition of you know what dude which fucking they Jim Norton actually named the podcast so thanks for listening Jim you get anything else coming up? Any shows? Anything you want to promote?

No, man, I mean, no, I'm just doing some stuff with the tell and Arty Lang and Zipalo. We're doing August 11th in the Chicago market. And then me and a tell are doing the Hampton Beach Casino August 25th, just to do this. Really? Yeah, which I've never done. Blue and Rx, you're asking me to do that for a while. Is it good? Yeah, it's great. I've never yeah which I've never done blue and actually get a while is it good yeah it's great I've never heard I've never

done it um great you know I open for a tell there years ago you can see the ocean while you're on stage oh wow that sounds horrendous it's like a 2700 cedar it's great I used to go there as a kid that's where I would hand them beach all the time I used to go there as a kid. That's where I would hand them beach all the time. I used to go there. One of my uncles, cousin, worked at one of the arcades, and he'd go and get me a big bucket of quarters. And I could just play all the games all night long.

I said I'd get one of the quarters back when I was done. It was a fucking, it was the best time of my life. And then I fucking sucked the dude's dick for stagging. That was the best time here, like. Yeah. I open for a tell there and O-04, and it's like, you know, 2500 seats still to, and I'm up there for like eight minutes,

and the mic goes out, and this guy comes running up with another mic, he goes, we had a feeling that was gonna happen. Here you go. Oh, what? It's like, what? You hand him up with a mic that was gonna die. Well, that's what the open is for, though.

And then, yeah. And then. So it doesn't happen to fucking tell. That was awesome. That was when Dave was still drinking then and in New Hampshire you can't drink on stage. Really? He had a yeah and he had a yagger and a like a Budweiser or whatever. He was walking on stage and they go, oh Dave you can't drink on stage. New Hampshire goes and kept walking on stage. And then he was ordering having girls from the crowd bringing him shots on stage and everyone was just going nuts in the back

Why can't you drink? I don't know. You just not allowed to drink on stage It's a good thing live for your die, baby. Yeah, you have to put it in like a cup or something I don't know go this way you're gonna be July 12th. I'm a you actually have a date. Yeah It's been a rough summer You want to use a fucking opener this kid? Well, you you you you balked at my my last date in Montana It's also with the follow July 12th I am headlining Caroline's comedy club. It's a Thursday night. So yeah, come to that. All right. I'm gonna come down July 12

It's a Thursday night so yeah, come to that all right. I'm gonna come down July 12 Middle Me I'll middle for you you can see I don't want to follow you Can you have your money anyways? Have you done Caroline's if you had line there? I have yeah, it's great Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, that's why you have those people there. Hopefully that you know A of these people will come big Leah told Caroline's a game of list of people that he wanted to middle any people Billy Burrow the list. What? Yeah. When? This is years ago, but still Billy was a headliner. Billy's always, you know what I mean? They're both headliners. Billy, but it's a fuck you. You cock sucker. Damn, where are you

gonna be? That's good. Glad the interesting worked out. At Dan Soda, and he's got a new website. Yeah, I actually didn't want to be a dick But I'm at Caroline's June 28th I'm actually Because he did it. I was like, oh shit. I think I think what does a dick is acting you know I'm also at Caroline's You know it's been fine I didn't want to take away from my little retard

Yeah, you've been fine. You guys have both had that. The fact that you're like this, I didn't want to take away from my little retarded guy. No, not at all, but I'm saying this. That's how it felt. No, that's not how it came. And that's not how it came. Joe finally got a great, yeah.

Joe and I have fun. We're gonna be in an argument for 45 minutes, right? Just trying to get that. I'm not that funny. So you're both headlining the same club the same night. No, I'm not 28th, he's July 12th. Yeah. So he gives a fuck, right?

June 28th. But you didn't lie to him. He implied that like, by mentioning himself, he was saying like, well, the giant is going to be there. No, I didn't like that he implied that like the by mentioning himself He was saying like well the giant is going to be there I Joke as well We're getting pizza. I just remember it cuz I know that we're going down to watch him cuz his pizza was supposed to be eating Kelly is headlining Caroline's June

headlining Caroline's June. Kelly, don't believe everything you hear, okay? No, we might, we might now that you fucking disappointed, we might out go with you, maybe. Wait, the pizza figure it out, you think tonight you're fatty? Hi. All right, so you're gonna be their headline in the big show, so the big show. That's probably gonna get canceled.

You're gonna be the, I'm gonna fucking downplay it now. What do you mean? There's a lot of followers here. After stoke, where are you gonna be? What are you gonna be? I've got the K. Yeah, it's July 7th. That's your big show, right? Yeah, my big one here on a birthday show.

At the K. July 7th. Ten o'clock. I'm gonna do a show. Oh yeah, any of you guys come down. Do anything. Colin Quinn's doing his new thing there all this week. Really?

Yeah. What's he doing in a new hour? He's doing a thing about the Constitution. That's all he knows when did he become fucking the history channel? Such a fucking Jesus. What is that? And he says the bar too high. He's starting at the creek and it's I think it's in the very early stages now and Interesting. All right, so listen We're gonna and this Jim thanks for coming on Thanks, brother

I can't wait to see the fucking whole special and you guys are gonna be flipping out when you see the The Aussie thing but the extra that we can't talk about look at around pit Show him the armpit Show him the armpit, please pick it up I want to fuck it. I just want to lick it. That's only part of I like armpits I mean, I like no deodorant a girl if I'm attracted to her. I don't want to do it all right Charge me on to fucking smell it through their shirt and then smell it and lick it for real We like smelly love if if the chemistry's right if they have period pits which are oniony

They can fucking go fuck yourself you could tell the difference between it normally. Yeah, not always they didn't Show and fucking but not always where he fucking smelled these chicks You're on your period. Yeah Always tell me with like a girl who I'm chemically a bed bug dog You smell that metallic cut anywhere. No, there's just something about the fucking the pit smell Oniony when they're on the heroes. Can you smell her as I can't because I'm not in a perverted mood right now I'm too tired. I gotta go on. I buddy But if I was Coming on man. You guys check out

RyeCast.com for all the fucking greatest podcasts and You guys are the best thanks for donating thanks for supporting the show. Thanks for reviewing and And spreading the word Hey, this is the you know what dude Podcast and here are sponsors everybody a laugh button laugh spin Yauser's fitness cringe humor and

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