Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe Bartnick & JR De Guzman | Magic is Cool

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

This week Bobby is joined by Joe Bartnick and JR De Guzman, They talk about Filipino food, how white people used to play every race in movies and JR shows off his musical improv skills. This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. En 1918, hay una magiación famosa que fue por Chungling Sue, pero era un guay. El reo, su nombre era William Robinson y and then he would go on full Asian fake, like look, pull him up. It's nuts. It was, William Robinson, and then also pull up Chuggling Sue, because he fully pulled off and he got into excited Danny.

So I was like, how do you know that? Because he gets like, once he gets, he's like, and I am his biggest fan. So this is him as an Asian man. Yeah. And then he taught, he pulled the entire country. Everyone in the world thought he was an Asian man. He didn't realize he was white until he died.

And the doctors were like, this famous Asian magician is a white guy. That's how they look like. What's he look like? He's red cubes. His real name was William Robinson. William Robinson? William Robbins.

That's hilarious. Shungling Su, life and death. Wow, look at that. That's the kind of looks in the lasian though, I gotta give it. Right? Convincing. Well, there was a movie, a John Wayne movie with James Con.

Yeah, this is him. And he, he came in, is that, that's him as a white guy. It looks like you. It's like, it's you two. Yeah. It like you it's like it's the it's you two You're the before you're really does Baby we're starting the podcast right now We're back, you know what do you live? Welcome everybody to the show why can't I?

Started the social media podcast I started social media podcasts The fact that YKW do podcasts YKW do back again Old school back in the day We're all started before them all YKW did Podcast is so fun and crazy And there's no rules

Shut up, you're ruining this Brick the ball, damn it I'm sorry It's a comedy podcast This is an NPR That's the podcast done Is there any better show? This the original. What's up everybody? It's Robert Kelly and we're back for another episode.

You know what dude podcast above the comedy seller and the comedy seller studios? I am here. We have a great show tonight. I just popped off stage. Great news. The actor strike, not the the writer strike is got a tentative agreement, which is great writers. Now we can get back to work and write some stupid shows. So we're not going to YouTube watching some dude hunt in the woods and make a shelter out of his own pubes. So anyways, we got a great show tonight. Maxi introduced the show. We got we got JR Deguseman. JR now. Joe, I know you. Yes.

We know each other for a while. Yes. And I just, I met you in an elevator in some, some gay way. We did. Yeah. Yep. Did we do anything? We did some stuff.

Really? Yeah. Okay. That's good. That's nice. Yeah. Was I, were you gentle? Uh, just the right amount, but we'll, I just want to, just me honestly right now, was my tone shitty, because I have a shitty tone.

No, okay. No, no, no, no, no. Your treble was shitty. Your tone was good, you know. My treble. But Boston people, we all have a shitty tone. You know, you hang out with Burr. I know, I love the Boston guys.

That's what makes it cool. We sound like we're, we sound like we're mad, but we're not. No, it's just, hey, what the fuck's up, man? Not then what I do. I like it. I like it, because I'm from Cali Cali and it just feels I just feel so soft a lot of times Yeah, I just feel a little bit like yeah because you are I mean you're you fucking soft people I've got yeah, I'm originally from the Philippines That's the part we got like no, that's where you fucking kick a bamboo at your shit. Yeah, kill your reason

I need your fill up in that completely. Yeah, I know you were from the Philippines Yeah, it was born there in Bamboo at your shit. Yeah. I need your Filipino completely. Yeah. I know you were from the Philippines. Yeah. It was born there in Pongasinan and then I moved here when I was like one year old. Slow that down son. What was it from? You know, Pongasinan, everybody knows Pongasinan. Oh yeah, Pongasinan.

What is it? Pongasinan. I fall it. It's so funny. Interesting about Philippines. I fall this guy. A lot of American soldiers and people go to the Philippines. Yeah, because it's so cheap to live there and Yeah, you could take your pension, right? Yes, and

Live like a king for the rest of your days and get a hot chick and get a house and yeah And eat food and drink beer and party like the older the white dudes there the more young philippino chicks they have with them i go back the more they can afford yes it's a thing there's a guy i follow uh because i like i follow on i like following crazy fucking shit on on youtube and there's a guy i think it's the road the the road back or something he's a he's an ex army guy the road back or something. He's an ex-army guy and he went to the Philippines. You can tell he's so American. You know, he's so army regimented, but he is a total alcoholic, you know. Yeah. He can tell, but he's got, I think, two wives over there. Oh, man. He's got a bunch of kids. I think he can be alcoholic over there and it's like good. Well, it's a sit, look at it, it's not like he has a palace, right?

Yeah. But he's just got a little house. They get some food, cook it up, have some drinks, it's hot as fuck. It's all you need. And it's like this simple life and he gets his money shipped in. And really like friendly people too. They really love everything Western culture.

Basketball is huge there, boxing, like anything that's American, they're like kind of embraced it to a certain extent. Yeah. Now, Philippine, what is the origin of Philippine people? Like the indigenous? Yeah, what is it? Man, I don't even really,

it's, there's like a, it's a big like melting pot. Yeah, because you're like Hawaiian Spanish. It's like a, it's a big like melting pot. Yeah, because you like Hawaiian Spanish. It's like Asian, Spanish. Some of the like Southeast Asian indigenous, like Malay and all that stuff. They got the hottest women. Dude, yeah, this Miss Universe.

They always win every Miss Universe. Yeah, they have like the cool skin and nice face. They got the black ass. I don't know why I'm, I like I'm taking that compliment. Like I did it. Yeah, you're, you're thinking like you have a black ass. Yeah. Thanks.

Thanks. So funny to look at Barton. We know what you are. God bless America. Fuck a white herb. I know. I'm out of the talking half a month. I mean, dude, you are, I mean, let me tell you something.

What you do? You are such a man. You know what I mean? It's hard for me to think that you do comedy because physically you should be like on an oil rig or some type of boat. I know I should working harder than I do. You you have such a man like God gifted you with this man body and head and face. I think I broke it down a lot though.

I'm a, yeah, you know, a lot of injuries. Are you from Pittsburgh? Yes. Originally. Tough city, right? Oh yeah, totally tough. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard work in town, man.

Yeah, I'm taking a shit there. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. Your sandwich stinks. You don't like the fries on the slow on top of me? Listen, I get it and it's, I know it's I know it's a let's go and get the sandwich. Permanes. Permanes. Yeah. You put fries in it too, right? Yeah. On top. Fries. Slah. Yeah, you're talking about fucking Filipino. They do a lot of weird

shit. Well, because people whisper they used to work so hard they didn't have time to eat. They put everything on the sandwich. They could drive the trucks and move the crates holding all one hand. Yeah, you can do that with just turkey, ham, and cheese. You don't have to put french fries and fucking all kinds of stuff. You gotta have fries. You gotta have coleslaw. So you're saying... So you're saying the sides just went into the sandwich. Exactly.

You know what? That makes more sense. Now that you gave it a backstory... You gotta have a little backstory. I don't mind it now. Now you wanna eat it. Now you're like... Well, listen, because I thought it was just some asshole going to put everything in the fucking thing, whatever accident. No, that's how it all started. No shit. It's just bad. And it's two. Here's the thing to it. It's too much. It's heavy. You're heavy. I don't only eat

one side. They give you the two. I don't eat the other one. Third, I know it's my hometown, but I think it's delicious. I don't know, dude. Is Promanney's like the one to get out there? Is it like a bad one? Yeah, Promanney's the one. There's the one. Now you can go anywhere in the world and say a Pittsburgh style sandwich and they'll put

French fries on it. Gotcha. But almost Pittsburgh's about means French fries. You get a Pittsburgh salad means French fries on top. I mean, I'm saying this stuff knowing that I'll never play the improv in Pittsburgh again. So I fucked that sandwich. No, I'm kidding. No, there's a bunch of places to play in Pittsburgh. I'm saying this stuff knowing that I'll never play the improv in Pittsburgh again. So fuck that sandwich No, I'm kidding. No, there's a bunch of places to play in Pittsburgh. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm saying this It's too much. I don't like messy food anymore. I don't like the

Grab Slim Slim no fat Bobby didn't like that either Believe it or not fat Bobby didn't like I don't like lobster anymore Fuck Believe it or not that Bobby didn't like I don't like lobster anymore Oh wow fuck Fobster's old something he did it is they dumping it you dump it in butter you could put ketchup and butter is gonna taste Okay, dude. I'm I'm from Boston and I'm saying this blopster Fuck it. All right lobster roll or the the Pittsburgh Fuck a lot a lobster roll over the Pittsburgh thing. Mm-hmm. That's not gonna stupid Yeah, he couldn't go home.

I'm new in here. Yeah, I'm gonna pick a fry sandwich on this fucking this is I I'm in San Diego and I love like lobster rolls like all the time Yeah, I love San Diego. Yeah, but you get nothing they get they put fries in the burrito. They call it a we have the best yeah exactly Yeah, but San Diego doesn't have a food Mexican food. It's not yours not yours. Well not yours. It's the most American thing. We just borrow it. Listen to take credit The problem with I think California has nothing the best Mexican food is the San Francisco barito From the Mexican. I mean, it's not it's not it's not California. San Diego's food. I don't know I mean I'm originally from Sacramento Sacramento. So I just moved to San. San Diego's food. I don't know. I mean, I'm originally from sac the Sacramento

So I just moved to San Diego. Listen to me. I'm gonna say this. I want to cover your whole state. You got nothing There's no food like Burgers are great in count. It's not it's from it. The burger is not from LA No, but I'm saying you know how like is they got nothing I I I New York has pizza right New England has seafood right Pittsburgh has this the dumb fucking everything I'm cheese. That's the best. What is it? Capacola egg you know, gubago egg and cheese. Oh, yeah, that's not California. No, but that's what it that's the best Primini sandwich. Okay, first of all, I'm saying you guys have a sandwich. You have something that you know for

Emperor if you're Polish. I love a parot. Well, there there you go We got parrots too something for everybody. I love probably look it. I'm not I'm saying you got any Bobby likes parrots Yeah, oh, yeah, fuck it. I'll fucking have a half one dude California. What do they know for? Yeah, I like as far as American food. I don't know I feel but we have a lot of like good Asian food It's basically all the immigrants. There's the problem. We all have a California people They won't admit when they're defeated. Yeah. They got to keep going. I'm going to keep fighting for. Let me ask you a question. Your people's Philippine. What's the food from Philippines? Oh, everything. Bang. See how that comes out? Look at that. It's a island. Oh yeah. Bring some back to my ground.

Tell me tell me some Filipino food. Uh, Bonset. It's ping that up. Bonset. Lumpia. Lumpia is probably our big or heavy heavy hitter tons of lumpia my life Oh, yeah, sounds like he's I get off a fucking a lot lizard in no old Philippine I just got I got limpia again second time this month from this That's a order you asked for before you like I get a lumpia. Can I get lumpia special? Can you give me a side of lumpia on the side of my balls, please? You're gonna type it up when you see a lump little bit of it. Yeah, is it sexy too? It's like an egg roll but it's got pork in it.

Ooh. Yeah, or what's always pork, you can be different. All right, what's another, what's something that, what's something that I'd be like, what the fuck is that? Oh, the famous one is ballot. Ballot, oh, yeah. I know what that is.

You do. That's a fetus chicken. It's like a, sometimes duck, sometimes chicken. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Have you eaten that? No, buddy. Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop. Whoa. It's my a sometimes duck, sometimes chicken. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Have you eaten that? No, buddy. Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Whoa. You like that? Yeah, I think you. Listen, dude. Would you eat that, Bartonack? Yeah. I had enough drinks in me. So, so they sell it, they sell it on the street.

Not for breakfast. If it's in the breakfast buffet now. I can't say, I can't pretend like I eat it all the time, but I have had it and my dad loves it. All right, I'll eat the dry one. I'm not eating the wet one. Yeah. I mean, we're gonna show these vegetables.

Well back up. I feel like this is gonna be. Dry one, all right, I'll eat like half egg, half chicken fetus. I don't want a full chicken fetus. Do they fry at least? No, that's it. You dip it in like vinegar.

Do they eat it with the beak? Yeah. Wait a minute, stop. Yeah. How come Pete is not complaining about this shit? I think it's kind of like soft and like, I'll represent it man, but it's like a delicacy. It was on fear factor.

Okay. But then, stop. Stop. All right, this is, Logan's not gonna watch this. So, I'm trying to get it running. Let me ask you a question. So you eat the claws, the little feet, and what do you do with it?

You chew it? So I'll only... Yeah, you dip it in something, and you just eat it, almost like you eat a hard boiled egg. Does it taste like a baby bird? No, not really. It tastes like a hard boiled egg. It's fat.

The cooked are boiled. I think it's boiled. So it is cooked though. I'm probably the worst expert. It's not boiled. But it is cooked though. I'm probably the worst expert to. But it is cooked. No, you have to cook it. You can't eat a raw.

Yeah. If you eat a raw, if you eat a raw fetus, there's the juice inside. That hard stuff is the egg that they cook. But I'm asking you, you had it. Is there feathers on it? Yeah. You know what?

When I ate it though, I don't even even really like, think about it. I don't remember like the texture and everything else was also drunk and visiting back in the Philippines after like 20 something. So you had, you only had it a couple of times in your life. Yeah, no, you would drop in the Philippines. And you're saying that one takes like six of them

and you're like, I think people do. I'll ask you, there's gotta be people, like there's people who eat it pretty like they like it and it's regular, like my dad would eat it when we're at like a buffet or something. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? He's trying to get my white people who eat it pretty, like, they like it, and it's regular. Like, my dad would eat it when we're at like a buffet or something. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? He's trying to get my white girlfriend to eat it.

Did she? No, she's from California. Yeah. Oh, God. I think she's disown now. I don't think we're gonna. Oh, really? Not gonna work, my parents are gonna be there.

What's your name? Suzy. Taylor. Taylor. That's worse. Is she in comedy? No, no. Oh, thank God.

She's a regular. Oh good, a square. A civilian. She's actually, she's in school to be a therapist. That's good. Yeah, there's a therapist. No, like of the mind. Oh, geez.

She wants to work on you then. Yeah, I know. She's going to try to fix me. That's going to be good later in life. Mm-hmm. What are you successful? She's going to sit you down when you come home off the road. Yeah. Hey, let me ask you a question. Why is there coming your underwear every week? good later in life. What are you successful? And she's gonna sit you down when you come home off the road.

Yeah. Hey, let me ask you a question. Why is there coming your underwear every week? I was eating one of those chicken fucking eggs. Those fucking bullet, what is it called? Bullet. Bullet. Yep.

I mean, I'm a big fan of the Filipino people. Yeah. They just opened up a Filipino restaurant, the fast food chain here. Jolly bee. Jolly bee. Oh, no way, you guys go to the Libby? Yeah, where is that?

It's up on in the... Times Square. Times Square. Yeah. What is fast food? I'm sorry to get food because... No, I love it. I love new food and Filipino food is like this new thing

that's coming over here. It's so ube. You seem like purple like ube. Would you call me? Ube. You just call me a fat, is that fat little white man and fucking, that's the little thing? Ube. Yeah, Ube.

It's not, it is a cute word. But it's like, it's like a purple, yeah, there you go. What? There's like all these Ube flavored things in America right now and like, like in coffee, in like desserts and everything. Okay. But people don't realize it's like a Filipino dessert thing. Yeah, I'll see you like potato.

You know what? YAM. It's no, it's more than that. It says it does say. It will. YAM. I'm literally reading off. I swear that was my white guy though.

I'm gonna tell you right now this is Google and Google. I know you guys think you're the smartest people in the world, but that is smarter than you. Yeah. no, I don't obey purple. I like I said I'm not the Data-ray didn't take it. Yeah, I'm not the expert on it. I feel like there's gonna be Filipinos watching this and correcting me You're really not fucking an expert. You never really Wishy wash on California and and the Philippines. I like Philippines. I just, I don't think it's, I would, it's not, I wouldn't call it a sweet potato. It literally says, I know it does,

well no, it says sweet potato versus Ube. Okay, but it Ube is basically a sweet potato. Okay, well, let's move on. Let's move on. I mean, you're panicking, now I'm panicking. Bart next just fucking staring off, looking for a drink. No, this is like versus. Bart next, fucking stare and I've looking for a drink. No, this is like versus Barnack, will you bet where have I been today?

No. Haven't seen you in a long time. I know. I've just been living. I haven't been back. He's a lot since the pandemic, but now, you know, I've been plugging my special and doing more. What is your special?

Where is it? It's dropped the last Monday. All things comedy, YouTube page. All things comedy. It's great. And what is it? What's its name? Uh, Bartonick, a killing in Chicago. You filmed it where? In Chicago. Nice. It's a den. Yeah. And the, it's like, it has a 70s detective theme. Hell yeah. What do you mean?

In the beginning, it looks like you're watching like a 70s detective show, like Barton B. Jones or Canon or you're exactly your face, man. Go Jack. The fact that you're not on TV on a cop show like a new long I know they make them anymore. They do well a lot of order like one of them You'll really get like 30 of them. You're really good voice. Thank you. He's got a great voice But his face. I mean, he should be in a western or something right you can you act a little bit? Yeah, yeah As good as anybody else. You know, you can act. Yeah, I have a great scene that builds new movie,

Old Dad's with Bobby Carter Valley. Oh, all right. Let's promote that real. We're not supposed to, but the, it's over, right? Well, the, the sag isn't over. Oh, the writers thing is over. Oh, old dad.

I thought I saw a promo for it somewhere. Hey, but I, Bobby Carter Valley's, you know, I think he's the best actor. Are you in sag? Under the age of 70. You are. I think he's, he's my favorite actor, under the age of 70. Who's that? Bobby Coneville. Um, I was seen with him. One of my favorite. In the hero. Everyone's old. Everyone's like 75 years old.

I mean, I love the narrow, but it's like enough. I don't want to see any move. I'm done. Dude, I'm done. You're only four foot two now. You shrunk in front of me. Yeah, I love the near. I do. I love him, but it's, there's got to be a point like, hi, tal stepped away for a minute, you know, no, and I just saw the other day that really fucking killed me Val Kilmer. Oh, he's a rough shape. He did a movie And it was like a vengeance whatever movie and he played a cop But he you know, yeah, and he Didn't he have like yeah, didn't he have a throat? He's turning into an American Indian woman. And he has a hoe.

Well, here's the thing, he did the movie, and he had the scoff around his neck. Thank you. And they, they did, they replaced his voice. So it wasn't his voice. It's like, man, you can't do that. That's Val Kilmer. He's one of the greatest acts of our generation.

That's right. That's right. Yes. Did you watch it? No, I didn't see that. I just thought the name was, I think the name is striking against the subject. Oh.

I thought that you said the name of the movie. No, it's the name of the movie. It just did. Val, Val, it's a good question. movie you just did? Hmm. No, it wasn't AI. It was some other guy's voice. Oh, so it's like watching a Chinese movie. Yeah, no offense.

No, it was a little bit no. I know, but close. You never know. No, no, no, no, no, it's not going to take my nose down. It feels like a television people apart. You can. Yeah, I knew I was going to be. No way.

Bring up. What's the movie? Hang on. Top come, everyone. No, I knew I was going to be. No way. Bring up. All right. What's the movie? Hang on. Top gun. I thought you're going to bring up. Bring up a soldier revenge. Yeah, bring up a Chinese. So, soldier revenge. Where there it is right there. No, paid her. It was paid her. Payter. That's the name. I just watch. Worst. Listen to me. You want to watch a bad movie? I love watching bad movies. I love my wife and Kate go to sleep and I go to Netflix and I try to find the worst movie ever. And this is fucking top six.

You know what, Val, kill more, call that movie. Pay day. Let's say you got to work. Yeah. Guys got to work. Give that to him for me. Boom. Oh, no, you're good.

No, but he was in top guns. Yeah, I was. You know, he was in it, but they like had to re-computerize so he could look more alive. No, top gun, it was fine because they used somewhat of his thing and they made it, you know, in this movie, he talks regular. He's like, oh, yeah, Gary. It's like not him. Oh, the whole movie, it's not his voice. No, it sounds like Gary Goldman fucking has Val Kilmer. Did you guys see Top Gun in two in the theater? I yeah cried I was in Switzerland. I literally stood up and

saluted it. That's the people behind me was so mad. I just loved it and I got made fun of by people. I love the fact that he thanked everyone for coming to the movie theater. I thought that was great. Did he do that in Switzerland? Yeah. What do you mean like in the preview thing? Yeah, he came to the chair like this size and he goes, Hey, we've put a lot of money in time. This movie, a lot of people come to the show lives. And thanks for coming. And that's what that was such a nice touch.

And you know what, you know what he got for that? Fucking $10 billion. Well, good. Yeah. You know, everyone else is making me know, I've never seen one do that before. Because he knows how important going to the theater to see a movie is.

You know, that's why I hate the fact that every movie, anything I ever wanted is at my couch. I make sure I take my kids to the movie all the time. And when I'm on the road, if I see a little shitty theater, I'll go to it. And I'll watch a film. If I don't see a movie in the movie theater, there's a 95% chance I'll never see it. Really? Yeah, cause I just don't watch movies at home. I don't see a movie in the movie theater, there's a 95% chance I'll never see it.

Really? Yeah, because I don't, I just don't watch movies at home. I don't have an attention span or whatever it is. I'll flip around for four hours, but if someone says you're going to watch the movie for two, I can't, I can't physically do it. So if I want to see it, I have to see it. Like, I had to go through the Irishman in the movie. I sat there for four hours. I like the experience of being it. I'll go it, when I'm on the road, I'll go to a theater just by myself, like before a show and just hang out. hours. I like the experience of being it. I'll go, when I'm on the road, I'll go to a theater just by myself, like before a show and just hang out. Yeah, I do the same thing.

I love the theater experience. And I hate that it's dying. I hate that our TV is so big, it's a theater. I hate that the sound and every, you can, and then you can just click a button and buy a brand new movie right from me. I hate it. And I really think that they fucking,

you know, this pandemic or shit killed the business. Good. Many businesses. Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's fuck my strategy. Fucking fuck you. Cool. No,

I think home theaters are changing people's attitudes, a sporting events. Cause why would you, you know, as much as it's fun to go to the hockey game, if it's not hockey, like I just offered a football ticket, it's like, do I want to go fight the crowd, fight the traffic? Pay 20 bucks a beer, always be the tension of 60,000 people. I can sit and watch it on my couch. And after we're anything in this screen is huge. Okay, but the thing with the alive event,

like a concert or a game, you gotta go, you gotta go to a couple of them. You gotta do a couple. Like I went to Metallica, it was like, wow. I, you know, when, you know, the Red Sox, come on, Fenway Park, it's not the same. When you're at Fenway Park and you hit a crack of that ball and it's going up to the monster and everybody, and it'll be shoulder to shoulder, come on.

There's no, there's nothing better than that. I do like it, but I do think just for it is nice to stay home though. You know, it's, you know, I caught, caught. Coffin's are different because I don't think there's just, I think I love hockey and I've caught it. For some reason, football, like just the aggro, just the aggressive, just all the drunks. It's like, man, there's always a confrontation. You know what they're coming out with that I'm excited about that a lot of people are gonna be pissed about

VR Yeah, oh for at sports. Well, so they're gonna have a chair right at the 50 with the cameras and you buy a ticket for a cheaper price Mm-hmm, and you sit on your couch and you're at the game. I feel like they don't want us to leave our houses. I don't know who they are. You know who they are. You know who they are. You know who they are. Of who they are.

You know they are. I don't say it. I know it. I know who they are. All right. Say who they are. All right, come on. No, that was close.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. But yeah, it's like there's less reason. Bill the brand. What? Black what? What? Right, it's like three cups. Soros! IBrant, what? No. Blackwatt, what? Right. It's like three cup of sorrows.

Like it's not all the related YouTube things are gonna be. My die. Yeah. This is how we know. It's like three companies own everything, right? Yeah, I think so. I'm, listen, I'm way to, like I'm like you, I don't have enough patience to sort through it.

Yeah. I watch guys on the internet like, dude, I just watch, I just read a book on fucking blackwater. And I'm like, I don't know just read a book on fucking black water and I'm like I don't know how to change it anyway. Well you could. Oh you'd be shot in the back of the head if you tried to change it. Yeah. You can try to change it. You can try. Yeah I feel like I have to look at 30 different YouTube videos before I know what the actual like like if a headline comes out and I have to pick a side or whatever it is. I don't know

the truth until I watch like you get pretty clear interviews. Oh, man. I do all day. If I watch that, I'm gonna go back to the flare comes up. That's like 20 minutes. Did you see flare walkoff of Kill Tony? No, I don't follow Kill Tony. What was the bit?

I saw the headline. You know, hang on a second. You're gonna say it like that. Well, I don't follow it. I don't know. Yeah, you said it's like it's like anal porn. Oh, I don't watch that type of porn. No, he just don't watch like open micers. Yeah, he will.

Oh. Partner, I love you. Yeah, yeah, who really does want to watch open micers get heckled? Yeah, it's the biggest show in the world. He says that. I'm just saying that you're like, man, my legs got past the aggression, man. No, I don't.

I love it. Pull it back too quick. No, I love everybody. I didn't, there's like a billion things to watch on the internet. He was, it was interesting. I'm kidding. Of course like a billion things to watch on the internet. He was, um, it was interesting. I'm kidding. Of course he was, um, yeah, Rick got drunk. Oh, really?

Oh, there's a, there's news. I, how they missed that? Uh, he got drunk and then they started making fun. Look, it's Ari, Shane Norman, Zach Amiko, uh, Tony. This was like a regular kill Tony. This was like the also. Rick Flair and Lewis Gomez. Tony. This wasn't like a regular kill Tony. This was like the all-star. Rick Flair and Lewis Gomez. So Jay, Lewis J Gomez before he fucking, anyways.

So he they started making, you know, they make a fun of stuff. Here it is right here. It's great. It's fucking great. Yeah, put the headphones on. We talked about this on the bonfire. But my husband's talking about it here. I mean, you really leaving Rick? Don't do it. Go back, go back, you shoulda make it. Go back. Go back. No.

Go back. Go back. You are helping to break the tension and make things funnier. I mean, you guys suck. You're the Rick having fun. My production crew sucks. Why do I want to listen to this fucking Chidro? Cute up to the fucking thing.

I hate you. You are here with Ric Flair. You are a wrestling coach. How does it feel to have a performance like that in front of Ric Flair? Fuck. No, Dave. Actually, be honest with you. Fuck. No, babe. Um, I actually be honest with you,

I respect that very much. My son was a great amateur wrestler, and um, this is why I'm going to make this... This is why... Come here guys. This shit makes it. This is why I'm leaving after this. No, no, no, no, sorry, sorry.

No, no, no. No, no. I have more respect for people that take their time to support any youthful athletic event. Wait for it, wait for it. By someone's a great amateur wrestler. Wait for it. He died of a heroin overdose. And to the 13th. I don't know.

I don't know you're that. I'm over that. But anybody that could take a time away from their life to support kids and make them better because I can tell you right now from personal experience and because I believe in my heart. Rick don't leave or you really leave me a wreck don't do it. He takes off. Oh no. You're all right. Hi. It's Rick Claire everybody. Good. They started. They started playing the whole music. Thanks for doing it.

Yeah, he left. He walked off. Dude. Wow. Mark Norman. Do you have any Asian pussy? He can't. He's a. He can't help himself. This guy just gave a speech. It's a legend in the business. He's Tony's Fucking I mean hero. He hate using that word, but he is

Mount Rushmore Mount Rushmore and fucking Norma goes you have a Asian pussy. I mean I swear to God. He's a robot He's not no human would say that at that time. And then one of the fucking music guys started playing the Hulk. Do do do do. What he starts the saddest music in the world. It's sad is kid passed away. It's still be rough, man.

Well, yeah, I mean, Jesus Christ. He already said he was gonna leave before the Asian pussy time. Right. Yeah, he was leaving. Because he was there, they were trash in the open micro who was a wrestling. Oh, got you.

And that's what the whole show is. So you know, you can't put a square into those shows. That show has to be all comedians. You point you puts a and Rick's fucking trashed. Yeah. You know what I mean? Poor Rick. I feel bad.

It's like senior heroes just beat away. I know. Like he's, you know, but I feel about fucking dinner, I'll stop acting. Yeah. I don't want to see you in another funny dumb comedy. I mean, you know, uh, Mr. Flair, I don't like home Rick, because Mr. Flair is just off the rails. You know, he, I mean, he, he got a new liver. He almost died. He had a serious condition like a few years ago. He was in a hospital for like like a month. He gave him a whole new body. And now he's not having a good time.

Good for it. Good on him. I just wish him the best. Yeah. I just don't want him to look bad. Why? You fragile them? No, but it's just sad. Like somebody you grew up what like you like forever. Yeah.

Rick Flair, the four horsemen. Yeah. I remember that age of wrestling. That was the best. I didn't watch a lot of wrestling, but they had wrestling in Filipino. No, in Filipino. In Filipino, say in Filipino.

You fucking stupid redneck. I mean, it's not good enough. Which is almost the same thing. They are not daily cities, daily cities. Daily cities are the Philippines capital of California. I don't really care about famous people like that. capital of California. Yeah. I don't really care about famous people like that.

Like, I just, like, there's no one that you get like starstruck over. No, no, I, I look like a fizz kid didn't die. I think that's where it made me feel like, oh, that made me feel like, I mean, that sucks. I hate the kid dying and all that. You know, that's maybe feel like, you know, yeah, I don't, care. I only have a certain amount of care left in me. Yeah. And it goes to like three people. Sure.

You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. Like I see like celebrities doing shit, that's stupid. You know, my sister had a kidney transplant. If I saw her drinking and doing stupid shit, I really, what the fuck? You know what I mean? Oh yeah.

It's like you're on a fucking stupid show. Go home, spend time with your family. Go home, stop drinking. You're fucking out of, you had a goddamn stop sign. The world said stop. It blew it. He blew it. So it's like, I don't, you know what I mean?

I can't feel bad for somebody who's jumping on the horse and fucking riding off the cliff. No, he's gonna pay for like five marriages. Yeah dude. I mean he's old school motherfucker. I don't really, I don't feel pay for like five marriages. Yeah, dude. I mean, he's old school motherfucker. I don't really, I don't feel bad for people like that. No, I don't feel bad for him. I just wish he wouldn't end up like that though.

That's just sad. Well, like a fucking rock star, fucking gonna die in that hotel with a hooker. That's fucking great. Yeah. Nine gold chains are in this, and a presidential on his wrist. W-w me. Hey, what's up, Danny? What better way to go?

Well, that's an old school dude, man. Oh, yeah. He was running the set. He was running the territory days. Yeah. Do you know, you know nothing about wrestling? No. I've watched, I played, how old are you?

33. But I remember when wrestling was WWF and not WWE. Yeah. Remember that. Yeah. And that's kind of when I left when they turned into the... The Rock and Stone Cold. Yeah, that's the... In the video game, there's WCW at the time.

WCW was the other one, that was Turner. Yeah. That was what he's kind of talking about the... Well, before that, in the territory, when the WWE F was just up in the Northeast, like New York, Boston, Philly, Pittsburgh. That was a McMahon owned. And then in the middle of the 80s, right,

when he got Hogan and Andre, and he got all the superstars that he went national. And they bought out or ran through all the territories except the Georgia people stayed strong and that's became the WCW. Yeah. And what happened was, you weren't supposed to do that. You're territories, you stay there, we stay here, and that's it.

Yeah. But, McMahon was like, you know what, I'm gonna do everything, and he got TV. He's like, let's do TV. And once you got TV, it was nuts. They got to make a, that untold series. They got to do that about WWE and all that. I think that'd be really good.

There's a million of them. Yeah. Yeah, I believe. Yeah. Well, let's say, I don't know, I don't know. I thought you were smart. I You think you just came up with that W. They're gonna be in pictures the strike. You mean you mean This is genius man. No, they should do a movie on Jesus. Oh, there is one already. You know what I think?

They should do a movie on the, when Jesus died. They should book about it. Yeah, they should, because that's just a book. They should do a movie on that. Yeah. I mean, I think it'll be good. You know what they should do too? They should do a movie on Santa, like the whole Christmas thing.

It's a good story. Right? It's a good story. You ever see that one where the Jesus Christ is asked kicked with William DeFoe? I never watched that. Which one was that? I don't think.

The last temptation to Christ. Yeah. You saw that? I saw him all, I believe. Which one, the Mel Gibson? That's the one, right? No, that's the Passion of Christ. Oh. The Passion of Christ was great.

Really? Yeah, I liked it. Why do you say it like that? Well, I went to Catholic school, so I didn't ever have to hear that story again. Like, I'll never watch a movie. I went to Catholic school too. I like the story of Jesus really yeah Yeah, why do you keep saying like I'm lying?

Fucking Damon yes I like some of his teachings are pretty cool. I didn't say his teachings you weird. Oh, I see the story It's like be nice to everybody. It's good. Good proverbs. Oh good proverbs, man. I have a problem with that every kid now, their religion is politics. They replaced religion and spiritual beliefs, which I grew up with, my mother grew up with, my grandparents grew up with, with politics. Now every kid does not believe in God at all,

that God doesn't exist, religion doesn't exist, and they believe in one side or the other. Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird thing. Politics took over everything. It took over organized crime. Yeah, I don't know how they did it, but they fucking did it.

They think about it. There's no more lottery now. There's no more daily numbers to lottery. A sports betting is now legal. Yeah. These guys don't like Jesus, man. I mean, they don't have, oh, these guys don't have any God. The only God that math is their God. Yeah, these guys don't like Jesus, man. I mean, they don't have, oh, these guys don't have any God.

The only God that math is their God. I need math. More than Jesus. Do you? Oh, I got to hate math. Do you hate God? No, I don't hate God at all. I just, I'm just not for organized religion.

Do you, now, uh, Filipinos, big Catholics. I grew up Catholic, left, and then I started to go to Mexico again, 2019. Did you? Why'd you start going back? I got I got saved. I got sober and then I got saved. No shit. Same time. Yeah. Oh good for you buddy. Mm-hmm. That's awesome man. I mean I've had some ups and downs. Of course. How long you been sober? Well so I came back again. This is my 43rd day. I get out. Yeah. That go to a meeting. You have so I came back again. This is my 43rd day. I get out. Yeah. Like go to a meeting.

You have to cash in your chips. No, I still have them. But then it was works. And you come back. They really work anywhere else. They give you like a day one chip every day for the first month, I think. Yeah, so I have a bunch of day one chips again.

Well, so if you look at it from what you are perspective is, where you're coming, you went away, and then you had to come back, right? Yeah, I don't see like I understand religion messes people organized religion is Cultie and blah blah blah, but if you look at the religion type of the thing It was teaching people most people was be nice to people Treat your neighbor the way you want to be treated so So it's like, so when you stop teaching that to kids and you start teaching them about politics, right?

Instead, and they're on YouTube watching people get beat up and motorcycles flip and, you know, what fucking, you know, who this one's date and who's that one date. Instead of taking a little time to have a little spirituality or a little something other than you fucking driving the wheel, I think it's really bad for kids. I, you know, I don't care, man. I get down on my knees and pray and meditate

in front of my kid. He's come in and be like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just praying. He's like, what is praying? I'm like, I'm just saying positive things. Yeah. I'm just trying to go over the things that I did that were bad yesterday or today

and trying to figure out how I can do it better and maybe forgive people that maybe did some bad shit to me but things to me and then be like, so I'm at least giving him that positive information. Oh, I do that. I pray I went to I went to positive energy, throwing positive energy people. And there's times when I go to churches.

I go to churches in my neighborhood all the time. Like, no, every now and then it's like, I just want to feel the positivity. Yeah, I totally agree with that. And I think it's great that people, and like that's what they do. Like that's what they have. I think it's great for people.

Right now there's a bunch. Like the overall hierarchy. There's right now there's a bunch of young comics watching this podcast going gaze. Like gaze. Like gaze. Jesus is gay. You just drink pussy.

You can't be positivity. You can't be it. That's what makes you happy. And that's what helps you get on through this world. I'm all forward. I've seen I've Especially in this business. I've seen so many people You know come to that other side where they're like dude. I had to find something because it wasn't or they died

Well, they found something to Other than their own willpower to To do it. I think know, therapy or something. Yeah, there was like a void that I was filling with a bunch of other stuff, and then it was just spirituality filled it in a way that I was, oh, now I'm actually content as opposed to like all the other stuff I needed to keep seeking

more and more of. Yeah, that thing. Well, I think I keep seeking, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I know it's out there. It's out there. I'm one of the last proud drunks. Well, you are a drinker man.

Oh, I'm a drinker man. I love it. Yeah, I don't even know what I do. I'm a drinker. But I'm not an alcoholic. I just like the drink. I've never seen you, and I've been around you. I've never seen you drink alcohol, like be an alcohol.

Be like annoying. You're constantly you. Yeah. Maybe a You're constantly you, maybe a little happier. Yeah, maybe a little. My wife likes when I drink. Yeah, yeah, because I'm even happier. I think people can drink like, it hits everyone differently. Yeah, it hits me good. What's your favorite drink?

I like whiskey, I like rye, I like the key. Do you want a drink right now? Yeah, I'm having a little car. I love, I love, I love a drink. What would you like? Either a beer or whiskey, it doesn't matter. We got whiskey. Can you grab my whiskey?

I drink anything. I'll take one to the mental state. You ain't, you ain't. No, you ain't. Bobby's just, but it's monster. Did I drink in your side of it? No, I just enjoy having a cocktail, but I, you know, it's, it's, but I, one thing I, I don't believe in any peer pressure. Right here.

Like I, it doesn't, yeah, with them, it's something. Each thing, it's like, that's fine by me. It doesn't matter to me. Yeah. You know, I'm, I'm just, I just like a cocktail. Yeah. Look, man, some, my uncles, my uncle, Jimmy, man's man, like you, same mustache, too, by the way. He'll, he'll go out.

No, no, I never got my last one. What other one do you got? How's this? Is this all right? Oh, it looks fantastic. All right, grab that. Can we get a little cup form? You got a clean cup. Nice. Got any, uh, yeah, we'll get you on. Um, yeah, he drinks, man, and cool shit. Takes a little ice sits down by the fire cigar. We'll sit there and talk. Yeah, talk shit talk politics talk family and be like take a little sip. Leave a little. All right.

I'm out. Just take off. You know, I think that's that's what it really comes down to the older I get the more I don't go to extreme. Yeah. Well, I know I was never like a bad raging. I was never like a raging drug. But I mean, just like now it's like you can have enough. Yeah. You know, like good. You know, you're like, well, I was never like a bad raging. I was never like a raging drug But I mean just like now it's like you can have had enough. Yeah, you know like good Yeah, you know, you're like yeah

I need that to extra to make me like not you know, but I never used to get really get hung I don't really get hung over which is like a nice thing. I actually get hung over if I eat If I don't eat late at night, I feel great when I wake up no matter what I do if I eat something later I wake up. I don't feel good. Hmm, I had food hangovers, those are the worst. Yeah. Waking up in your feet is small and they feel wet. Mm. And they feel wet.

Yeah, that's a fact, I think. You don't know that. I use food as a drug. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I'll plan it right when I'm about to like hit the bed and get ready for sleep. Oh, you'll eat that? Oh, yeah. Oh, I can't do that. I got up to like 2.92 95.

I lost like about 80 pounds. Oh, wow. You look great, man. Thank you. But yeah, I know it's like, yeah, like late at night, man. That's like, so that's how I really, one of the things I lost weight, I would freeze chocolate covered twinkies.

That's how you lost weight? Well, I'd have one. I come home from the gigs and like one. And that's it. That's like my three bites and that's it. Cause it's a little chalk, a little sweet. And I want to do that right now. Because it's like, I mean,

you need a little bit of a little bit of sweet cause you can't go cold turkey. I didn't like satisfy that part. Yeah, otherwise you'll go over. Yeah, it's like, okay. I have my little thing. You know, because I think that's the hardest thing for us to keep our weight down because you come home We want to eat I always bring and this is I mean Nothing to fucking boring, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no, it's me. I'm like dude. I bring protein shakes on the road

Mm-hmm. I do I bring like I Go out during the day and I'll buy a I bring protein shakes on the road. I do, I bring like, I go out there on the day and I'll buy a bunch of protein shakes or bars. So when I come home from the gig, I'll just have a fistful of nuts, a protein bar, and then I go to bed. Yeah, do you know what? I'm so old now on the road.

I mean, I don't even know what to fuck. If there was a girl like, hey, I want to eat your ass and suck your balls. I'd be like, I'm so tired. And my plan to fashion it, I just, I gotta rub my ball ass and suck your balls. I'd be like, I'm so tired. And my plan to fast you out is I got to rub my ball on the bottom of my foot and I got to eat my protein bar. And there's a valkula moving on Netflix. So yeah, if you want to do this while I'm sleeping.

You know, I when I first started coming, there was another comic we worked in Albuquerque together. He went to Walmart and he bought a juicer and used it all week and then brought it back. Yeah, I've broken my writer now, just because I like, I wanna have like a healthy snack in the green room. So you're doing big shows now?

In the last two years, it like picked up more for me. Because I've always said this, in comedy, you wanna be huge, you need a people and a catchphrase. What is it? Oh, a play-up fan base. Yeah. You have a lot of Filipinos. Filipinos, yeah. They've been... I'm telling you something about Filipinos.

I want Filipinos. Dude, get in there. They don't fuck around. Filipinos are the best. They show up. They show up. If you have a small role in a movie, you're famous. But I want a Filipino movie role.

Can I pass for Filipino? I can see it. Little tan, you look like my uncle, actually. I do. What's your uncle's name? I don't want a Filipino movie role. Can I pass for Filipino? I can see it. Little tan, you look like my uncle actually. I do, what's your uncle's name? Dig. What'd you call me? Right.

Yeah, we'll bet it and dig. And one pod. What are you saying? It's short for Rodrigo. Dig? Dig? All right, I'm dig. Yeah.

Put me, you're gonna do a movie, put me in your movie as your uncle dig. Okay, yeah, I would do it. I would do it. Yeah, yeah, I know Rex. Yeah, do you know dang Gabriel? Yeah, you would do it. I would do it. Yeah. Yeah. I know Rex. Yeah.

You know, Dan Gabriel. Yeah. You know, Tony Gumpco. You say T-Rex. I know Tony D'Yomco too. Yeah. All the area do. Those are my Filipino buddies.

Yeah. And Joe Gila. Joe is one of my favorite dudes on the planet. He's the next guy in the world. He's the next guy in the world. Yeah. Good energy everywhere he goes. Absolutely positive energy. Yeah.

What do you want? Six Filipino guys in a position? Yeah, seven. What do you do in Billy Burz, new movie? What is the scene? I'm type cast. I am a bouncer. Really? Yeah. But I have a scene with Bobby Carter Valley, and it turns into an all out like 70s,

Bert Reynolds style bar brawl. No shit. And there's literally like eight real, we practice it for like a day and a half. Right. There's eight real stunt men and body doubles and me and Verzy. Oh no shit. Verzy's in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So excited. I have three good scenes like three good parts lines. Right. And then and in verse has one like hey, make her funny thing. That's great. Yeah. It's gonna be fun. You said you're a big fan of Carnivaly before that, right?

Yeah. How was it being doing the scene with him. It was fantastic Thank you because I and he was just such a great guy We end up going to a big couple baseball games together. He's just got a big piece too Yeah, yeah, I didn't shrink in the Boardwalk Empire my god. It was massive. Oh really? Yeah, it was fucking man. Good for him. Um Great guy though. It's super sweet guy. And everyone, you know, it's just fun getting paid the fuck around.

I mean, literally, we're hanging out with stunt men. We're telling a story, we're throwing fake punches. And you know, it's awesome. I remember the first flick I did was in Boston. And the stunt man, I had long curly hair. So he had to get a mop and they died at black and they just stuck it on this poor guy's head. And they had to throw him over this. Salute fellas.

Salute man. Hey, cheers. Thanks for that. So you've been doing comedy how long? 12 years now. 12 years. Jesus Christ. And you're blowing years now. 12 years. Yeah. And you're blowing up now.

It's been picking up. Special. I'm some tape in one in December. Where is that? Yeah. And Las Vegas at Wise Guys. Okay, great. Wise guys, great.

Brand new club, right? They have the new one and we're going to do it. But so I started this tour out two years ago. And the first club we did was the Arts District Wise Guys. Yeah. The smaller one. Sure. So the Arts District wise guys, the smaller one. So I'm ending it and taping it there. I tell you, the owner of that guy is such a great guy. Stubs?

Yep. I haven't met him in person yet. They're so good, man. The club is great. I mean, you know, I just, I mean, I love going Utah one. The guy has been such, such a great guy. Comes out and when you come off stage, just accolades. Like, no, he like not you don't have to use it dude. That's how a comedy show should be that's a con that's that's like Thanks, man. Thanks for even watching. Yeah, no cuz most club owners are not even there

Give a fuck or there. They're in the bar trying to get fucking accolades for themselves Yeah, you know what I mean? Really great club. That's great man. Good for you. Thank you and You know what I mean? Really great club. That's great man. Good for you. And, uh, in Barton at your specials on all things comedy YouTube page right now. Yes. And if somehow you can't fight for some reason, it's a link on my website.

Right. So Barton, you got a whole family. A wife and a daughter and two dogs, yes. And where are they? In Pasadena, California. Now, you travel a lot. Yes. My wife gets fucking angry when I'm gone for four days.

How do you get away with it? My wife loves what I'm gone. That means I'm making money and she has her own life. Yeah? I'm a lot when I'm home. I'm like, bear. What is your wife? What is my wife?

She a cop. No, she's a uh, she's, she's in marketing right now. No shit. Yeah, she used to be a TV news reporter. She worked for a sports agent. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, she's, she's a hustler. Really? Yeah. She's a great woman. Today's episode is brought to you by Ghostbed. A great night sleep is important to anybody, not just comedians. Ghostbed makes premium mattresses at an affordable price. All designed for cooler and more comfortable sleep. Take advantage of a free and fast shipping.

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Yo tengo que hacer un cryon, como un traje. ¿Por qué no se han habido indígenas, pero no se han habido reales? Se han habido detalles. Estamos abriendo la resta y el chiefe de J. Strong back to wrestling chief J. Spronk strong But was an Italian oh shit. Yeah, I remember that guy And that weird now you can't do that. Oh, you can't do that at all. Oh, no, no, no, no You can't do that you have to put up my time to shine man. I would have gotten some roles What have I got some rules you and I got any they wouldn't back with my dark complexion back in the I had I had long hair in college. I don't know. Yeah, you would see it. Let me see. Look at me. Yeah. Say how? Oh, yeah, you would have got a

nice book booked it. Yeah, Indians back in the day, they just used Italian dudes. Sometimes they didn't even do Italian dudes. They used just a fucking dude from Chicago. They're famous like Mickey Rune played an Asian guy in some famous movie. Oh, yeah, that's, yeah, I don't know what movie it is, but it's something like totally ridiculous. A breakfast at Tiffany's. Oh, is that it?

Yeah. And breakfast that famous of a movie Mickey Rune played an Asian. That's wild. Good back in the day, look at first of all, we invented cinema, right? So, I mean, what are you going to do? Oh, you need an Asian guy.

You can't go get an Asian guy. We're fighting with them. You know what I mean? We couldn't go to Japan. What year was this? I don't, I know of it, but I don't know a lot about. There did someone building the railroad could have been pulled out to make a movie.

Now they couldn't. I'm just good trains out there. I don't know. It was a 61. Yeah, dude. You they couldn't. I'm just a good train. I don't know. It was a 61. Yeah, dude. You just made 61. 1961. No, trains are done. That's a little. Trains are done. No, it's not.

Dude, we still had 20 good years of fucking doing this shit. It's you know, after World War II. Yeah, dude, we still had a good run. You guys had a good run. Don't forget Vietnam. We have Vietnam. Yeah. Yeah, we were still fucking racist. I guess had a good run. Don't forget Vietnam. We have Vietnam. Yeah, we were still fucking racist.

Yeah, when was Arnold, when was Pat Marito? That was 70s, Arnold's 70s. Happy days. That's the first kind of Asian dude in Hong Kong food. That was like the first time. In 1918, there was a famous magician that went by chungling su, but he was a white guy. His real name was William Robinson,

and then he would go on full Asian, like, look, pull him up. It's nuts. It was, William Robinson, and then also pull up Chung Ling Su, because he fully pulled off and he got into excited Danny. So I was like, how do you know that? Because he gets like, once he gets guy, and I am his biggest fan.

So this is him as an Asian man. And then he told, he pulled the entire country. Everyone in the world thought he was an Asian man. Ha! And then he told the entire country. Everyone in the world thought he was an Asian man. They didn't realize he was white until he died. And the doctors were like this famous Asian magician is a white guy. That's how they look like. What's he look like?

He's red cubes. His real name was William Robinson. William Robinson? William, William Robinson. That's hilarious. Shungling Su, life and death. Wow, look at that. That kind of looks like a legend though. I gotta give it.

Right. Convincing. Well, there was a movie, a John Wayne movie with James Khan. Yeah, this is him. And he. He came in. Is that that's a white coin. It looks like you. It's like, it's the, it's you too.

It's, it's, you're the book. I gave you. It really does. That should be it, man. We should do a tour together. That would be a problem. I would, if it was me back then, I'm like, you don't look Asian enough, Chair.

He looks like John Wilkes Booth. It's that so quiet. I'd keep for a magic trick. You would have someone shoot a bullet at him and he would catch it in his mouth, but then they fucked up and they just shot him in the face on stage. What? That's karma.

That's where the guy is. Why? They shot him in the face on stage. Yeah, and this conspiracy theory is. It was Asian dude who had the gun. Based on the kids, his girlfriend was the one that was supposed to check to make sure it's fine and they had a fight before the show. So some people thought it was like that episode of law and war. Yeah.

Yeah. We thought the gun was checked. Oh, Dintin, Dintin. So back. How does that trick done? They just put a blank in and it's in his mouth. Yeah. Is that how is that still how it's done?

They did it in the wide room. I just stopped one second. Stop one second. Danny. Yeah. Is that still how it's done? They did it in the wide room. I just stopped one second. Stop one second. Danny, is that still how it's done? I don't know. Because he's a magician. Joe and him are just, he's a Joe laughing because they can't tell the secrets.

Listen, you're not a magician anymore. Is that how it's done? You guess what the blame does it for real. I most people probably do it like. David Blaine doesn't catch a fucking ball. Oh no, we're crazy. He did. But he no one is ever caught a bull. He has like a metal cup and they line it up. Yeah, he holds a metal cup in his mouth and he gets shot in the face. Yes. The guy is a good shot. Yes. 100%. Yes.

Yeah. He's catching a bullet. We're pulling up. It's a guy making a great shot. We're pulling up. Did they know why we were the force? We were kids though. You know what I'm talking about, fellas? How many of you guys are like, right? Bull it. We're pulling up. It's a guy making a great shot. It was pulled up. They did a wide world of sports. We were kids though. You know what I'm talking about? Follas. Anybody is like, right? They had a guy shoot a guy and he caught it. It was like in a boxing ring. But it's where the guys could probably find it. We were kids. It was on wide world of sports. You know what I'm talking about? He caught it. I like clapped like clapped it. Right. They had like a bullet proof of glass around the guy's head. They got like a marksman shot a gun. I think what he's talking about, David Blaney, he had something in his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. No, but that's not catching it. That's somebody

shooting your face with a bulletproof shield on your mouth. It's actually catching it. It's not catching it. It's it's whole. It's having a fucking cop in your mouth and the guy shoots the cop catching it is going. Yes. But even that wouldn't the vibration like break you would think it's not something I'm gonna do I mean look it. I think it's all garbage. There's no he What happens? I tell us he think wide-roads of sports would use I could see it on like a wacky channel But I don't think ABC why I was sports with kiddone that is a sport wait. What are you talking about like a These why remember I go here we go. Here, what are you talking about? Like an episode? Maybe we're right beside you.

Here we go, here we go. Is this it? Is it your headphones? Is this it? Uh, it is. I don't know why it's a sports foot. Now, what is this? It's what it came up to.

Okay, here's the thing, guys. All she's doing is putting a target in his mouth and the guy's shooting the target. I don't think that's really a big deal Well, that's something I'm gonna try. I mean, I wouldn't try it either you partner, but what I'm saying is Look at these dumb fucking old women Cratchy old 70s women Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, he comes it's a tough crowd when you got a paper that room

I can't sell tickets. I'm taking a bullet in the okay. Yeah, he caught it. It's a tough crowd when you got a paper that room. I Can't sell tickets. I'm taking a bullet in the face. Yeah, I love that he bowed at the end too. I Wish you a bout and then get back up Here's the thing with that that's not a big deal to me There was one on on America's got talent. There was someone that had a crossbow Supposed to catch it in like a cup of their mouth and then the guy missed and they shot a crossbow Into the guys through I'll see that I'll see that. Wow. Did that make air? Yeah, it was it was live was on air The guy had a you tended up ended up being okay. It was a flaming cross. We'll pull it. You win. No, I mean that's you lost Immediately, you should have thought that America's good America's good talent. There it is. We have it

They shot him in the face. I mean, that just sucks. Because the argument on the way home, dude, you shot me in the face. You moved. No, you shot me. America's got to. Is this it? Yeah, that's it. Oh, he has a whole set he made to.

That sucks. Oh, and he's got the stupid ears. Oh, we're gonna meet the music. Oh, wait, I gotta put the headphones on. I gotta hear him scream. Is he go, oh, wait a second. Oh, this girl, it's always a girl. It's just a fusion.

We're gonna get fired for that music. I take the music off. Oh, you can see the red dot is even Oh no, oh wow, he's good at something Oh this girl's look at she's oh no the broad. Oh no Where is it Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Is it in his neck? Where is it? It is thrown

Where is it? Oh Look at how I went down Where is it? Where is the night? Where is the no she's dude look at her face. She's bummed out how it's like there's a He's trying to get interview the guy afterwards Where is the fucking arrow? From the ground. Did it go through his neck? Where did it go through? Hit him in the neck and then fell to the ground.

So it didn't go through him. Oh. Oh my god. I love that. They even have a voting thing after, too. Look how satchie she knows she's going to get a nice swap right in the cheek. Oh.

She's gonna get sod and half for real. They should have both in star search. They're getting those stars. Oh God, man. So they made it pretty far though, if they got to the voting room. Damn. Hey, dude, you playing Japan all the time?

I actually did play in Japan. You do it a lot? No. So like, is that like a whole, not the market you get to go to because you're Philippine? Philippine? This is the first year I did a, like a headlining show in the Philippines. I did it in June. Yeah.

But how many people? Like a thousand. Wow, it's great. Yeah, it's great. Is that at the salar casino? Okay. And then, but before that, I was just backpacking through Asia when I was younger and doing stand-up and I would like find places to do sets. Wow. That's weird man. There's like Malaysia and Singapore like got in kind of in the scene back in the day like. There's a scene in Singapore. Oh, yeah.

This was like 2013. Is it now they're bigger? Do they speak English? Yeah, they have English speaking scene. And there's some people, like in the Philippines, a lot of people doing it in the Philippines. How many languages do you speak? Fluently, really just English, but I can speak a little bit of like the Galogue, the Philippine language. Can you say something to me?

What should I say? I can say like Mahal Kitaz, I love you, or Bhutan Gnamo is like Motherfucker. That's it? There's like other things, but not like actually talking to your mom or something. I can understand what they're saying too. You can't talk back. Not, not fluently, no. You have to talk back like a fucking San Diego dude.

Yeah, like cool mom, cool dude. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, so it's like some Marvel movie. Yeah, yeah. They'll say something I translate it to the locals. Yeah. Do you speak another language? No, I can't say I do my My grandparents spoke Italian around the house when I was a kid all the time I so I can kind of still I used to be able to understand it a little bit

Then when I went to college I took Spanish and the teacher would be like you're speaking Italian but I Yeah, it's close but I can never say I can speak too much. You're such a goddamn man, Bartonek. I mean, you really are. I mean, like, I can, in Mexico, I can survive a little bit, but, you know, I'm, do you do like, are you just comedy?

Yes. You travel all the, what else do you do? Do you do any manly stuff, do you fix cars? No, I, I used to do karate until my back surgery. No shit. Why do you have back surgery? Oh man, I had back surgery twice, but this time was I they I have four really major things wrong with my back. So they fused. They they're scruzing me basically. Really? They put me yeah, they put me back together. No shit. So my karate injury thing. No, I mean,

I know basically it just I had it 28 years ago and they go, you're back for the last 20 years. Yeah. And after karate, hockey, basketball, touring the world, and comedy, it just finally gave out. But I pushed through to make the movie and do my special. And then he said, have it done. So you got it done after you did all that. Yeah. Because I, oh, shit. You're recently off this. No, I got it last October as my surgery. And I, after four weeks, I was back doing the road, my hugging my surgeon at the improv, he was doing great.

And then I came crashing down right after Christmas. I'm like, my back is still. So I took some more time off, and now it's pretty good. Yeah, you feeling better? I feel a lot better. I actually feel great. As long as I don't have to think about it, you know, it's great.

Yeah. Let me ask you a question. If I get to know if we get to know a hustle, are you a problem? What do you mean? Like if some kids fuck with us, right? If we go down the street and all of a sudden they fuck with us. Are you gonna, are you gonna fucking handle it? Like, can you fight?

Yeah. I imagine that you can beat the shit out of somebody. Yeah, that's the humble karate answer. That's the humble karate answer. This is what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't look for any of that. I'm like, I'm a Pittsburgh kid looking at my face. I've been in enough fights. I don't want any of that. I just like, if it comes upon me, then what can you do? But I never look for any of that. No, no. Because I want to go in a fight tonight me you and him. Oh, you know, I'm not an aggressor. Dude, you'll be listen, I'll be the little guy where I you know, I talk I'm the talker. Yeah, I just want to

fuck around. I'll just sit there strong. I don't want to throw lips and shit. Pull out some fucking nunchucks. He's like, grouching dagger. Yeah, a jump from tree to tree and then step back down and go, ta-da. And then you would just be like, and crack your knuckles like that. Yeah, you know, I mean, I, you know, I just don't, I really don't look for any. That's why I was talking about going to games like I just don't like trouble. I'm 53 years old, you know, I grew up in Pittsburgh.

I've seen a lot of trouble. Yeah, I just want to live. I just want to live in life. What kind of trouble would you see? I used to bounce and bars in Pittsburgh. Oh, no shit. Oh, wow. There's just be fights. We should break up like five fights on light. Right. Yeah. And then out of the house out, we had like four city cops outside just waiting like, Hey, good boy. Then to be like, yeah, it's not the bouncers anymore. It's us. Go home. Pittsburgh is not a, I mean, that's a tough town. Yeah, people don't fuck around for this. If you're a balancer to people are looking at LA,

it's not like a, no one's pushing anyone. It's like bam. Yeah, they just throw a punch. Yeah, it's not like Hollywood. Right. Like there's no one's like has a, I'll be back. And it's like you'll be done, you know? Boston's like that too.

Boston's a, fuck you kid. Wack. Yeah. It's the sucka punch. Yeah, no one, there's no, there's no, I remember a lot of sucka punches growing up. You're like, what'd you say? There was a lot of this. Hey, what's up, dude?

How you doing? What the fuck did you say? Wack, and you're like, fuck. Yeah. And you woke up a couple hours later, or you just didn't fight with somebody. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, you know, and I did that when I was younger and I just like, I'm just over all that stuff.

But, you know, but I mean, I thought, I totally thought way more as a kid. Just, you know, been not even fighting, fighting for me, fighting for money. You know what I mean, getting paid to break up fights and get paid to do things. So it's like, I don't think I need that. I'll tell you.

I'm like, six two now. So it's by six four. I was almost six four. My grandmother was seven six four. I was a little wondering when I was growing up. No shit. Yeah. So my fight and weight waits like 2.30.

Yeah. I mean, I couldn't, in my head, I can see me fighting when I'm in traffic, but I know that I got bad hamstrings, and I, you know, my fucking knees fucked up, and I, you know, and I got the stamina, stamina of like an 80 year old, so I know if I got out of the car, like in my head I'm always like fucking, like doing a Tyson like ducking and coming over and up a cut and just standing over some knocked out cocksucker. Well, but I know it wouldn't go that way.

That's like my personality too, though, is like, I can walk, I can be in New York for like four months in a row. Never have a terse word with anybody. I'm walking my two, I just love my dog so much. I'm walking my dog, some car comes up fast on my sits, one of them like, then I'll kill everybody in the car. Yeah, but in general, I just don't care what I'm looking for.

Like I wouldn't care someone, I wouldn't care someone that solves me against my face. You guys are my family, that's different. I was in a man last night. I was so proud of myself. I went to Carvelle. There's two Carvelle's. There's the Ardley one, which is the upper class one.

Then there's the Elms for one, which is the lower class one. The Elms for the lower class one. Chinese old Chinese ladies run it, right? It's a little more ghetto, older, but they got fucking everything. It's the best. I go there all the time. They, like, when they find out I like low fat Car fat car value screen with like sprinkles and I like different things.

Oh, we make a we make it for you. We, you know, and this, they're just the sweet awe. I'll come in. They'll be like, we should come in. Give me me my son. And when he's made this, we made this. We got and they're the best. And then the rich one. I never go to it because it's the service. I go there last night, me and my son, and we walk in and there's somebody, one person in front of us and the lady who owns it's running it. And I go, we're waiting patiently. All of a sudden, these people come in who know her. And I'm like, fuck me. I know it's going to happen. They're going to supersede me. She, you know what I and assure enough

She comes out from behind the count. Hey, oh my god Oh, oh, oh, oh, they're like what about oh, Rocky will get them doesn't even say Excuse me. Hey guys, Rocky's gonna take you. Hey, just says Rocky's gonna get and I look over on this this kid First off like this if they were real friends hers wouldn't they think hey let this pain customer go now Well wait two fucking minutes and then we're gonna ice cream. How about owning? It's under friendship. How about owning the place knowing that hey you haven't seen me before I'm a new customer. Yeah, yeah, so I go up to Rocky. He's like I'm a new customer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I go up to Rocky. He's like, doesn't even say, man, help you. He goes like this. I go, you have a low fat ice cream? No. I go, you don't have a low fat ice cream? No. Machine broke.

Okay, Max, get a small, Max said, oh, can I get this? Yeah. Then just goes, I go, can I get this? Yeah. Then just goes, I go, do you have coffee? No. I do not have any coffee? No. I'm like, okay, I look over this thing that says, espresso bean.

I mean, to me, I mean, pretty sure coffee's made of a sp- right? I mean, but I don't know, maybe I'm fucking wrong. So he makes my kids ice cream. I can't, is this coffee? It's oat ice cream milk milk. I go, I know, but is it coffee? He goes, yeah, but it's oat. It's oat coffee. Oh, made with oat milk. I go, I go, I don't give a fuck. Is this fucking coffee ice cream? I just want, I like, you know, I go, I don't give a fuck. Is it ice cream yes coffee can I have one please we crunchies

But I like old me would be like hey fuck face go fuck yourself. You know what I mean? I'm so that type of shit. Yeah, that's me off. Yeah, no It's a part of tying a little bit right yeah, yeah, that's that respect it is it made it we don't get respect. I'm trying to tell my love. They're off. And anything anybody doesn't show because I try to show everyone respect it first. Everyone gets my respect first. Yeah. Right. Then when they don't show me their respect back, that's when I have a long fuse. Yeah. But when the shoes goes, you snap that neck and kill them. Embarrassed their body. Right? I would go that far. I did.

I was so mad, but my kid already, I would have walked out. But I didn't, I didn't. It's bad to lose it in front of your kids. That's what I don't want to do. I, but I did go, yeah, I don't give a fuck. Give me, I did say that. And I, but I walked out my kid. He goes, that guy's a jerk, dad.

He goes, let's go to, let's go to the, uh, other place with the, uh, ladies. He calls them the ladies. Yeah. I call him the Chinese ladies. You cause them the ladies. I call them the Chinese ladies. But you do a great impression too. Get well, dude, I tell you, if you met them, oh we got, we got, they get so excited. Yeah, they happen to serve.

They want customers serving their for the money. That lady probably has like, it's her second husband store money. They don't care. First of all, it's the fall. It's not the summer night in Imoan honey. So you got customers coming in on a chilly night. Yeah, it's raining. I mean, the ice cream. You should exactly I should be getting a latte and a fucking biscuit somewhere. Right. And I'm man. But yeah, it's it's a respect thing. We have a respect thing. Yeah,

I'm trying to tell my therapist this. He keeps trying to go back to my childhood. I'm like, dude, it's him, DNA. I tell my therapist that all the time. I go, I don't want to blame my parents for anything in this because they were great. I don't have a problem with my parents. It really, nothing is their fault. Well, no, I wouldn't get carried. My mom's fine, I love my mom.

Well, I mean, hey, my mom's crazy. My stepdad used to be the shit of me. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. He wasn't a tie any of that. I think he was a fucking bullock, so. I'm gonna the first time I went to therapy. I came in for, I was like, I'm be the shit out. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. He wasn't a tie any of that. I think it was a fucking pollock. I'm the first time I went to therapy. I came in for like, I was on like burnt out or whatever. Then they kept asking me about my family.

I was like, hey, come on man, focus. But I feel like that's their job as they want to like, relay everything back to that family somehow. Well, everything, like I realized, I have the inner monologue, you know what I mean? That thing, talking to yourself, what you like to do with the fuck, you know, blah, blah. And I realized that he's a, I, that that inner monologue, dude, is abusive. I fucking idiot.

What are you doing? You stupid. Come on, asshole. Get it together. You're a fucking idiot. You know, that is my stepdad. Oh, see that's my mother. Well, my mom, that's my mom too, is that.

I'm like, oh shit, someone brought it to my attention, dude, that's your, that's your, you're always, you treat strangers nicer than you treat yourself. Oh, I do that 100% too. You that you know what's funny about that is like Right therapy in general is though like you go sometimes I'm like I'm killing for an hour Why am I paying this guy like you laughs at me all the time? I'm like what the fuck yeah, but then they got like every like a couple months. Who say something? Really clicks break through that's why I go to you. Yeah, that make any sense

Oh, yeah, definitely sometimes I go I'm not making stuff up. It breaks through. That's why I go to you. Yeah. Does that make any sense to you? Sure. Oh, yeah, definitely. Sometimes I go, I'm not making stuff up. It's like, why? I mean, I've had a great week. Why am I talking to you? Yeah.

You're just kind of bringing me down. You know, but then it works. Yeah. No, therapy, man. I'm telling you, everybody should go to therapy. That's great. I think everybody, especially you get to tell, you gotta be able to say stuff. You can't say to everybody.

Yeah. You don't even want to ruin your friendship with people telling you bullshit. I think everybody, especially you get to tell, you gotta be able to say stuff, you can't say to everybody. Yeah, you don't even go in and ruin your friendship with people telling you bullshit. I'm not gonna ruin my fucking relationship, my wife, when she finds out what I really like sexually. I'm gonna have to come out of a closet. I'm gonna ruin my son's life. That's hilarious.

Yeah, no. I want you to, I don't know, you don't have to do it, but I know you have this thing in your act that you kind of, can you explain it a little bit what you do? What is it? Which one? Yeah, can you set it up? What is that? I watched this clipy and I thought it was pretty funny.

So JR has a song in his act called Don't Show Your Dick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll ask audience members. Which guitar? Do you have a guitar? It's at the hotel. It's in the hotel. You'll ask audience members.

I can aquapulla. What is it? Who asked audience members a place that they can't show their dick in a moment? Is this a closure? What do you do with this? Oh no, it's not a, it's in, I'm going to put on the special though. Okay. What is this? Do you have do you do with this? Oh no, it's not a cool. It's in, I'm going to put it on the special though. Okay. What is this? How do you have a guitar the whole time?

For, pretty early on. Yeah. You walk up with the guitar. It depends on the show. So sometimes I'll start out and do stand up up front and then, but sometimes I'll just pick up the guitar and start going to do it. I remember I'll give you, you know, because comics, we have, you know, guitar acts, you know, you get a bad idea.

Oh, you do, yeah. And we always guitar act, you know what I mean know, you get a bad idea. Oh, you do, yeah. And we always guitar act, you know what I mean? Especially when you're coming up. Oh, yeah. You got to follow, oh, I remember, my first headline in gig, I had a follow guitar act. And then let me tell you something, this guy did mediocre most of the time, right? Right. Christmas.

I didn't know he had fucking seven insane Christmas fungies on. Christmas parodies. Dude, he had fucking Led Zeppelin. I mean, dude, he had a hat that flipped back and forth. This guy went up and murdered with Christmas funny songs in the boat. And I went up with fucking, dude, my dick is fucking hot one.

Took a, I bombed on Christmas Eve. I bombed, I remember I was at a gas station. I was just at a gas station just alone thinking of quitting the business because I only had like 20 bucks and I was like, is that enough miles to get home? I sucked it. My first headline spot, I bombed down here guitar. So I've always had a salty thing. And another fucking shitty guitar acting, I was in Chicago at one of

the clubs outside. I forget what it was called. Anyways, I'm sitting there in the agreement. Guy comes in and it just changed hands from the uncle who was old school all the guitar, you know, you know those acts This the the nephew bought it right and now he's bringing it like me Sharad Steve burn He's bringing all god for the young guns. He wants New York comics because he's kind of hip to the scene So I'm sitting there and the kid walked in the Middle or and he walks in he like I'm here. he just looks over, Hey, what's up, man? How you doing? What's going on?

He looks me and he goes, Hey, looks me up and then it goes, Hey, and he goes, Hey, man, where can I set up? I'm like, what can set up? Fuck it, what? And so he goes up to the MC, sweetest kid ever, gives him a line of credits. I mean, dude, I was like, what the fuck?

So this kid goes up, fucks up the line of credits, because you can't remember it. It's like fucking 17 credits. Right. Does a stupid guitar thing then comes off yells at the MC yells at cheese and he does 10 minutes over. I want to know who these people are. Oh, I don't know who this guy is. Dr. Granzo. I'll tell you, no, it was a young kid. Dr. Granzo was a good guy.

I went up to the, I go, I went up to the club owner. I go, here's what's happening right now. He's doing 10 minutes. No guitar. No, 15 minute. He's doing 15 minutes. No guitar. And so, oh, this after merch, I'm selling my merch.

I just did my own album. I took me 15 years to come to this, made my own album. When nobody had a fucking CD, you had to go like comedy central to album. I did my own. I'm sitting there, I look over. There's T-shirts, sweaters, fucking hoodies, three CDs. I go, what the fuck is this?

He goes mine, standing in front of me. So people are walking up, buying his stupid shit, but they tell me they get to me like, Bobby, I'm sorry, I got no more money. He's like before, then Mo or another, I'm like, dude, second show, rest of the weekend. 15 minutes no guitar, merch, fuck you outside. I made him sell his merch outside. He bombed

with material. I mean, 15 hot men. The MC killed in front of him and he took a hot one with no guitar and then he was selling his merch outside. And then the club owner at the end of the week, I was like, where do you want me to put your photo? Because I had my headshot. I went over to the wall. I grabbed his photo off, I threw it, I go right here. That's what I'm doing. Fuck him. Not to say, but no, you do guitar. I don't know what to say, so I'll take it,

you don't like music. Play the music. Yeah, I know. I'm just kidding. I got a sad Christmas story for you. Oh, do you? No, my first year in comedy, for Christmas Day, I was in San Francisco by myself, and my body goes goes let's go see the godfather on this big screen

It was like open. It was like a twenty-fifty anniversary or something. We want to go see it. I went to the ATM No money came out. Oh balance zero zero zero. I still have the ATM receipt for whatever like a 12 25 97 Zero zero. Oh, that's sad. Oh zero zero zero zero zero zero. That's sad. Oh, Jesus. Now I have a one on that zero zero. I have a 10 bucks. Yeah. I'll give you some money if you need it.

Oh, cool. No, dude. I like, I don't mind guitar guys. I mean, John Joseph makes me laugh. You know what I think there's a lot of life. I feel it's good. I love Henry Phillips. He's one of the guys that came up watching

and then when punching the clown, then when he came out with his special, so stoked. Cause I think he didn't have a special, we had an album for that. So, here's a problem with musician, comedians. They, it's like they get good stuff, but then somewhere along the line, they get weird. That was like, what the fuck happened to you?

I remember when Zach Yafanag was playing piano on stage. Funny. like, what the fuck happened? I remember when Zach Affanagnax was playing piano on stage. Funny. Really disturbing. I mean, it's said some outrageous shit. His live at the purple onions is one of my favorite special stuff. Yeah, I mean, yeah, some I mean, I like music. I like music shit. I do. I like guitar stuff. I'm fine with it. As long as it's goddamn funny.

I don't have a sweatshirt to sell. It's merch. Why? You have you have I'm just kidding. Oh, yeah. I'm't have a sweatshirt to sell. But it's merch. Why? You have, you have, I'm just kidding. Oh yeah, I'm not this, this kid that you, you have, in front of me. That brought back, yeah. Dude, it really did.

I've had a lot of bad guitar. I think that's what it is. There's a lot of, like people who don't try at comedy because they think, oh, if I bring the guitar up, that's enough to be entertaining. And so that like sets up everyone, when you come up as a comedian with a guitar, people are like, oh, this is gonna suck.

I think guitar or not, there's nothing worse than just being a headliner, having a good set, not even really having a CD or no merch, and seeing a hack middle act, bring a target store, and make an extra $5,000. When I came up, I remember, yeah. Right, I mean, really, that's really fuck up. I remember you were always supposed to like,

ask the headliner when I was coming up, like, A is a cool if I sell merch. Right, you're still supposed to. Yeah, and I have it in my contract, you can't. That's great. But they still go, hey, do you mind if I, you read the contract, you can't. But I don't really sell merch anymore

because it's like fucking you. We're gonna sit there with a CD that nobody has in their car. Oh, I know. The worst is whenever you, like the last round of CDs I had when people, the young kids were like, you still sell CDs. Yeah, it's like, yeah. Yeah, Vos is like, it's member of Beelia. Mm-hm.

I, uh-huh. No, I, I, I, look, you, if you're entertaining, you're fucking entertaining. I'm just saying as a headliner, there's nothing worse than seeing the dude come in with a guitar case. And you're like, fuck me. I got to follow Limericks. I got dick jokes, you know what I mean?

Especially, you know, if it's, you know, some silly, come on, dude. You could do better than that. Yeah, and just like here's what we did in Catholic school to make fun of the like church songs Yeah, something like that. Yeah, just feeling it like mad lips for all the words. Yeah, man, but go ahead Let's play yours The best intro to it. I don't what's clip is this. Oh, this is yeah, so I do this thing I've asked them for places to not think about guitar people. Yeah. I mean, okay. This is the oh, we gotta. Yeah, we gotta listen to the best intro.

You know, there's times where it's okay and there's times where it's not okay to show your dick. So give me a situation or place where it's not okay. And I'll improvise a verse on that. What's that? Helping your grandpa change the tire. That is so specific. Grandpa pulled out his dick.

It was limp. I'm okay with that. Turns out this tire wasn't the only thing that was flat. Oh yeah. Was it the only thing that was flat? Stop for a second. Boss. It's the weirdest thing to me to see a Filipino face sing like John Mayer. I mean, dude, you have a beautiful voice. Oh, thanks, man. You really sing great.

Yeah, that's like you can get a lot of pussy. My body's on a white land. Hey, my body's a melting voice. Oh, thanks, man. You really sing great. Yeah, that's like you can get a lot of what's the. My body's on a white land. Hey, my body's a melting candle. It's each their own. Everyone likes something. Buddy, you really have a beautiful, I mean, that's, that's the thing too. Some guys who sing and do the guitar can't. It's like, it's like theater shit. I can't sing at all. When I was in musicals, the musical director really just lips think just. I can sing. I believe I can't sing at all when I was in musicals the musical directly just Lips thing just I can sing I believe I can sing I believe it's in me. Can you yeah? I believe oh yeah Yeah, I'm what you need maybe I'll sing with you. Okay, do wet. Can we play the rest of this play the rest? This is pretty I for yeah I gave up when I tried Is when I pulled my dick out,

That's how my grandpa died. I mean, I'm gonna say this. You can't beat shit like that, because dude, the fucking crowd's in it. It's like, it's like, like getting them involved and stuff. Well, dude, you get them involved. You're making it up in the spot. You know what I mean? I think that's the thing that people have a problem with with guitar guys is like, it's

a fucking, it's,'s it's it's really fun You can be a little dirty and offensive and everybody's on board Nobody's gonna hackley and if they heckle you put it in a song You know, I mean, it's a little more it's a little more of a tight wire Walking out there with just your words. Oh one hundred percent right most comics want to be rock stars But so then you're kind of doing that to them too. But it looks like a play guitar. Yeah. Oh, of us didn't have the patience to learn, but I did. I feel like it's a part of like how much you guys hate me.

No, I'm gonna follow up with it. I'm gonna follow up with it. I'm gonna follow up with it. When you look at something like that, if you don't come up with something funny, you're fucked. Because you got all that shit up there, right? If I don't say something funny, funny. You're fucked, because you get all that shit up there, right? If I don't say something funny, I can just be like, yeah, that one didn't bother.

What I was gonna say, I've- We didn't ask. You're not on the show. You're not, it's not Danny and Bob, you know what, dude. All right, go ahead, Danny, I'm kidding. I've, I've, I've shut up, nobody cares. What the fuck are you? No, go ahead Danny

No, I'm not go You see I've seen him do it a thousand love of Christ shut up No, go ahead you see them a thousand time no go go just go go He'll throw out. It's the opposite of what you're saying, like, someone will throw out one that he's done a thousand times, like the easy ones, and it'll sometimes throw those away, and want, like if someone says church, he has one prepared for church, he gets church a thousand times. Sometimes throw away the easy one,

because he gets that one a thousand times and wait for someone to do a good one. What do you, as manager, chef? I'm just fucking, it's my PR guy. I mean, what the fuck in dick sucka, you know? Oh, you fucking little little bullet sucka. Listen, I know I'm saying that it's not, number one, you gotta, it's gotta be,

you fucking sound great. You know, that's great. You play the guitar good and it is a tightrope. I'm saying it is, us comics were so pure at some time. You know, I used to be a pure, like fucking dude, you get up there, you do your thing. I enjoy a fucking guitar guy.

I actually, if it's good, John Joseph makes me laugh. I like John Joseph. I'm like, whatever you can do to make people laugh and make money, you do it. I say, I don't agree with that. Magic and comedy, I hope you die. Well magic isn't comedy. There's a couple magic comics out there, and they suck.

You're talking about your siddaf. Yeah, it's only... You're not gonna do a comic. Well, but there, here's the thing with both of them. I ask them to do magic all the time. And it's like I'm asking him to do gay sex for the parents. I know, I will not do that.

It's fucking mind-boggling. I love magic. I want to see magic. I have two magicians here. They will not do it. Danny, will you do magic? No. He gets offended like I called him like,

I'm a Nazi and I'm calling him Jew. It's crazy. See magic, I can understand magic. Magic is okay. What freaks me the fuck out are mentalists? What mentalist freaky about? Yeah. Like how do they do?

There's a guy that he he wrote a couple TV shows with me. And he would I mean, I was in a room. I was working on Snoop Dogg show and he freaked everybody out. I was like, there's like two white guys and like five brothers. They like, they're like, Jesus Christ. Wow, like he's like a witch. Yeah. He was just no stuff and we were at this comedy club a few years ago.

And I woke up and I go, how are you doing? He was good. He goes, he goes, he goes, think of a name. I go. And, and, and he goes, Dominic. I'm like, how? With nothing. No interview. In this ball. That's a, that's a neck. I'm like, how? With nothing, no interview, that's a lie.

Uh-oh, on my grandmother, why would I make it up? All right, now you said your grandmother. Yeah, no seriously, why would I, I mean, it's crazy. Like the people that can do that stuff is nuts. There's no way. How would he know, I thought of my grandfather in his name. How would he know that? Cause you know as your grandfather.

He, no, he doesn't. What if they're friends? Maybe in the past life. But I mean, like, you know, like those kind of people freak me in the fart out. Yeah, I don't know, dude, I've never met somebody who can do that. My thing is they're doing that.

What, what, wouldn't they abuse it? They're using it in other ways too. Yeah. I think there's a mathematical way they can do that. Or there's some side, you know what I mean? There's something. I don't know. That one's pretty crazy.

The number or whatever. I can kind of feel out. I feel like he said, think of a name, Dominic. And you know, really? Well, that may be true. It's something that's kind of funny. But then why would you know my grandfather's name? Because he put fucking Google. He knew it was going to be that the ha ha. He could Google. He He hunted me down to prove to me that he was a witch. Yeah. No, he's not a witch. He's just a fucking chim-shammer.

Right. And he went pick a name and he went, I don't know. And you were like Dominic and you were like, how the fuck did you know, right? Yeah. When you were a kid, though, did you think magic? I do think magic was real until I learned it wasn't. No, I never thought magic real. And I know magic is not real. And I love that they make it where I believe it's real. And I flip never thought magic real, and I know magic is not real, and I love that they make it where I believe it's real, and I flip out like black people when I see magic. I love magic, and these two fucking autistic assholes won't give me a nickel of it.

So what's your best magic trick? I wanna tell you. I've been done magic in like seven, eight years. Oh, okay. Whatever. We used to do close-up magic or big, big things. I used to do close up magic I like that stuff slight of hand. I love it all. Yeah. I love it all and they won't do it

I came up in the in the Naka circuit and like I got stuck behind with two magicians on my plane They just did magic non-stop. Yep, when we're hanging out. They love it. They have to they have to do it non-stop all day Yeah, cuz that's how they get good at right guys They won't talk to me Naka you know what Naka is right? Yes, the that's how they get good at right guys. They won't talk to me. Um, Naka, you know what Naka is, right? Yes, the, uh, it's the, uh, the college thing. I was always too dirty for that. Yeah, you can do it because you can clean everything up, right?

I had, well, so I had a clean album the first, and so I had a clean hour for certain gigs. Yeah. But then now I'm not like super clean anymore. Oh, you don't paint as fuck. I can do that. I can do. Can you, before we wrap up here, can we do a, can you do something like that? Well, like a, like that. In revised, what, uh, revised? Come on.

If I had my guitar, but I could, I could do an acapella. What's, what's a place? You're not acapella. Situation a place to not get a situation. Oh, you give the situation. Or I can't pull my sick out. No. No. Yeah. No, yeah. That's, I thought that was this. Does it have to be deck, that's I thought that was this There's it have to be deck, right? I'm not good at improv But what's the situation? What what what do we do? Tell we're old men tell us. I'm so excited right now. Uh

I could do I could do I could improvise something good. I'm so excited No, no, I just want to hear you sing. Oh, let me see something Okay, I got something. Sit and with. No, wait, I want to give you something. Oh, I thought you said give it makeup something. I want to give you something. Okay, all right, give me something. All right, go ahead.

What do you want from me? I don't know if it's going to be good. We'll try it. Shout out to all those who's your confidence now. I'm going to kill it. What is the scenario? What would ask me what I need to do? I need for it.

So in this song that I do, Granite, it depends on the song. This one I asked people to give me a place or situation where it's not okay to yeah, show your deck. Okay. You guys ever heard of comic Robert Dushane? Yeah, he is the best improv joke. You guys said, I think improv guy goes in any of the occupation. And the guy goes, no shit. Bobby D. any occupation, the guy goes, no shit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha getting communion of church. I mean, I get that one all the time now.

You do? I forget that. My daughter's basketball game. Your daughter's basketball game? How about giving, giving, my wife giving birth to my son? Wife game? You ever get that one? Okay.

Are you Jewish? No, I'm Catholic. I'll hire you. Sorry. You're wife giving birth to... It's a conflict, you're successful. Okay, I'll hire you. Sorry. Giving birth to conflict. You're successful. Okay, let me think something. Success. Vertix. Okay. Okay, got you. You good?

All right, you're gonna be like beat. Sure. I'm trying to imagine the melody of my guitar right now, but okay. Yeah. right now but, okay. Yeah. My wife was given birth in the hospital bed. Then I saw a dick that's not what I meant when I said, hey look here comes the head. There we go. It's all like on it.

I like that. I do like verse at a time. Do some more. I get addicted to fun shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's like magic when you do a little trick. I'm like doing other one. Yeah Like give him one give him one. Oh, yeah, my daughter's basketball game. Oh, yeah, that's right. Your daughter's basketball game Okay, well she's 19 though Okay, that's it. That's yeah, that's weirder. No, I know I just think of something where you awkward. Yeah

No, I know I just think of something where be awkward. Yeah Fuck some of some of them are hard man somewhere hard. We want to eat You gave you church you were like I did that one Should it keep you most shut you could have just done it Should in the church one, uh daughters basketball game. What is it like a college league or what is it? We'll say high school high school. Okay college. I think it's legal to show you're dick in the college Let's be awkward. I love it. She's painted team. She's 12. She's 12. Okay. The mascot. It's a raging cock. And the raging cocks of Pasadena.

I fuck, man. I'm like, I'm struggling with this one. Oh, thanks. You're alive. All right You want us to sit on that side so it'll look like a crowd now. I'm just sometimes take some out I'm like, you know, getting it from God and the I like it if I have the guitar like I'm you with you, babe. Okay, let's go At the high school basketball game the girls shop went off track. Oh, shit.

Because there was a dick in the stand. That student just got held back. That's all I got. That's all I got. That's stunk. It's so weird. It's like so much easier to do it with the guitar. If you had a guitar.

But, you know, I'll freestyle it. I'll still go. I'm a team player good. Oh, you're gonna do more Oh, you got it if you got a different one. I just do like versatile. Yeah, you got one You fucking all chatty of fucking minute no If I do I can try a different one for church. I do it do church the church one. Yeah, no, and I'll save all the one No, do church come on church. Yeah, cuz I like church. Okay, you will do the one you always do I'm gonna find that who's rowing I'll do a different On a mission to outer space. Mission to outer space.

Fucking nerd. Okay. Mission to outer space. All right, I got one. Okay. On a mission to outer space. A dick landed right on me. I guess there's even some dicks in zero gravity.

Yeah, I like that one. It's a lie. Oh, rough. We're sitting right now. It's like, I want you to keep going. You want it to keep going? Yeah, you're waiting. How the verse.

Okay. He's a chorus. Yeah. I used to do it like verse at a time. All right. So, I'll finish that one. I'm in my space craft looking at all the stars. My dick's so big. It's bigger than Mars.

Bang! I like it. Yeah, I can even grow it. It reaches all the way to Mars. Dude, I think I can sing. Am I singing already? I think I should be like a... You are just waiting for that stuff.

You'll be on America's Got Talent. My name's Bobby Kay, and I'm sitting here on the mic, playing with my balls. Wishin' I was a dike. I got my Filipino boy to the right of me with my guinea want friend. Botnac you can see he's got a big dick and a big mustache too. Two things you can't hide when he gives you a mustache ride. That's right. Cause my friend eats little goo. It's called blood. It's got a little duck in it and you eat his ton of liver. And fuck my friend in the butt. We we're not good at this. Maybe we should stop the show. We're not good at this. Maybe we should stop the show.

Give your plugs now. And you two should really go. You're not starting to shard day. You're a sautee. Dude, Barton, are you going to a special man? I got a special out on all things comedy's YouTube page or the link is on my homepage, jobartonik.com. It's jo Barton at killing in Chicago. All things comedy, YouTube page or the link is on my homepage, jobartonick.com. It's Joe Bartonick killing in Chicago. All things coming to YouTube page. And I'm in old dads on

Netflix October 20th October 20th. It's coming out. It's Billy Burz movie. It's, uh, I heard that it's supposed to be, you know, we've been seeing all these comedies that come out and they're fucking blase And this is supposed to be old school funny Rough raw Just funny shit. You think mr. Burr would put out something that doesn't know I do not I do not and I'm glad he I'm glad he's putting his friends in it. I'm glad he's fucking. He's a good dawn. He's he's what he's a good dawn What's that mean? Thanks for the family. Oh, I got you. I'm glad he is. Guys taking care of you guys. That looks right. Yes. Yeah.

I got questions for you guys. When what do you got coming out? What do you got? I'm on tour right now. I'm finished up last leg of tour. Right now I'm doing the East Coast and then I finished in the West Coast, taping Vegas. I feel bad you're bringing bringing guitar. Fucking Danny. Show me the clip. I might Mike do we should I'm do this? Oh Hey, man, I'm always game. I'm like let's do it. What's wrong with you? I love those are generally really good people I like you a lot like Really nice guy. Oh, yeah, that's my credit

You know is one of my favorite people I'm friends like they're always just like chill man They're always good people. They're the best, they got great cool. Were you relate, we were hanging out, we were having a good time. We were chillin'. No, I'm just saying, we talk so much, it's like, oh my god, we're like, talk that almost.

I mean, you bring it up, I mean, you bring it up, I said sorry. Oh, I mean, I love it. I mean, oh, you love that I was late. No, I love meeting him and having a good time. All right, you ready? You got time hanging out. I got questions for you, motherfucker.

Oh, really? It's like five questions. Well, we got maybe three. Hot seat. Uh huh. All right, this ready? You got time hanging out. I got questions for you, motherfucker. Oh, really? It's like five questions. Well, we got maybe three. Hot seat. All right. This is from Jay. Sup. JR.

Curious how comedy is different in the Philippines versus the States. My wife loves your office romance bit per our origin story. What is that? I do a lot of like, crowd work stuff. Okay. And the office romance one was just like this couple who met at work And I just started riffing with them. So you in a song? I both I like just kind of talk to them Then I'll improvise a song based on the story

Well, you know, it's funny that improvising Matt rife does a lot of improvising the the new Comedy that's coming up is crowd work talking to people and this stuff. I mean look is crowd work, talking to people and this stuff. I mean, look, I'm a purist, dude. I'm the right-and-hour work it for a couple of years. Go through the bullshit. It's socks, it's socks, it's good, it's good, it's good. It's great, it's socks again, it's good, it's great. It's great.

It's great. And then you film it and that's a special. Right. And back to square zero, we're doing that right now. Right. Well, you're back to square zero and that's a special right back to square zero. We're doing that right now. Right. Yeah. Well, you're back to square zero. And that's my school.

But I, you know, the new look at things change, man. Things are different now. I know you've been in a longer than me, but I mean, I've seen probably five, I've seen at least three or four different huge changes in comedy since I've been doing it. Yeah. I mean, totally the internet and social media changed everything. Used to be being the comic with a lifestyle.

You do anything all day. Well, we had some coffee, we walked around, maybe worked out, fucked around. Yeah, we went and did two shows. Now I gotta be up doing shit on social media. It's the worst thing. And you gotta have a podcast. Yes.

You gotta have a fucking podcast because that's where people are going to I mean, I mean, I get it, but it's like I did this podcast when bird and even know what a fucking podcast was. Yeah. And he fucked. You're the original. Then he fucking passed me 76 times.

76,000. Uh, so answer the question. Sorry. What are you asking him? He said, our Filipinos racist. Oh, yeah, yeah. I do. I see baby birds. Hmm. We are the most racist. No. Comedy is different in the Philippines versus the States. Uh, yeah. I've heard like doing that show in the Philippines. Like, I did a warm-up set

just at this random bar just to feel it out and everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's a mix because I feel like the main thing is just the perspective. Like even everyone speaks English in the Philippines. Okay. They all get all the jokes and everything. He's a good people. Oh, great peeps. God bless America.

Yeah. Yeah. And but like, yeah, there is a different sensibility. Honestly, I feel like the Philippines, they're kind of down for like everything. Yeah. And they're down to hear jokes like against the government. A bit more too. Yeah.

Yeah. Mani packing out jokes. Oh, I did some Mani Pappi. Oh, you did? Yeah, open the show up with that. What was it? What did I do? Because you know, I super like Catholic instead.

Yeah, yeah. I just said like, he's an inspiration. You know, he proved to me that you could be a man of faith. You don't have to be faithful. Cause he has like a bunch of kids from unwed. Oh, they got like standing ovation just on, on May 1 and many people. Well, that's why.

But I do like him. He's a legend. Of course he's a lady. You gotta say that cause he'll beat your ass. Yeah. For sure. Um, Joe, huh? Every single pack you have. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, of course they do. Because fucking May weather was. No, but I mean, everyone looks, I mean, even non-Filippino's love pack. What is he like now? Mayor or some shit or the? Uh, he's a politician and he's a singer. He has like a bunch of other careers. Hilarious.

And he has his own basketball league. What? He has his own basketball league. With like he owns a basketball league and owns some teams. I don't know. He owns three on three. He does. He does. He owns that. I didn't know that. Big one of basketball. He goes three on three. He does. Three on three league ice cube owns that.

I didn't know that. It'll be three. Yeah, big three. Excuse me. Yeah. Big three. Joe. Yes, sir.

What's it like doing college football games with Bill Burr? Yeah, it's so much fun. Every meantime. Yeah, it's amazing. I mean, you guys, you guys are meant to hang. Yeah, you're such burrs. Fucking of guy. It's yeah, stoic funny drinks Yeah, I mean, Bill got it being Bill got along instantly when I met him the funniest thing is

Burr for years would say you gotta meet my buddy Paul Verzi. You got me my buddy Buddy Paul Verzi. Yeah, then He's bill was telling verse. he got to meet Barton. We met his wedding within five seconds. We were great friends, went on tours together. It's just, yeah, we all get, we all just get along. We're all just kind of men. Yeah, I love doing me and Verzi talk about that.

Yeah, being a man. I was going on great with you. I just think, yeah, is that a man, a real man left in college? There's no man left. No offense. Hang on a great with you. I just think, yeah, is that a man, real man left in college? There's no man left. No offense. Hang on one second, kid. There's no,

you're the favorite. Pull your socks up. There's no, there's no, I mean, it's true. Yeah. There's no men. Name a, I mean, look, name a man. I mean, Shane is kind of manly. Yeah, I would say Shane's manly.

Yeah. One second son. We, uh, no, but the football stuff's the best. We just have a great love. You know, I love verse. And we make oh yeah, who doesn't? I call Versi Santa Claus. Why? If you don't love Santa, if you don't love Versi, like you don't love Santa Cla, like Versi's like I got three Jews in here that don't like them. Oh, well, he's like, don't like him. Oh, well, he's like, no, not not versus Santa Claus.

Yeah. I, I love Verzi. I tell you what, I talked to Bill though. If he calls me Verzi one more time on the phone call, I told him I'm flying L.M. I'm a fucking punch right in his chest. I talked to him like, dead Verzi, I'm fucking Paul. Listen, I'm fucking Bobby.

I've known you longer. You know what's funny? I've known you fucking longer. Call me Paul it's funny. I know you're fucking longer. Call me Paul again, Burr. You know, what's funny about that is you're the only one that calls him Billy. Why? What do you call him, sir? I call him.

I call him, I call him Bill. Really? Yeah, he's called Bill. I call him Billy. Clarksack called me Paul five times talking the other day. Paul, Bob. I do Paul. It's Bob. Sorry, dude I'm not my name. I would before my name. I'm not fucking Paul over Paul. I get it. No, but over Bobby

or Robert or everybody. I don't give a fuck just don't call me Paul. I get that Dude you guys are similar. We later. Fuck yourself I got a person. I need to see I need to see you guys look the same. You don't know Paul Verzi. I know of him, but I don't I'm not. Yeah, we look very similar. Okay. Verzi looks like a billion people. It's like his he has he has the bald head in the goatee and he looks like a lot of people. So funny. There he is. Verzi. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Verzi is the best. Oh, yeah. Verzi looks like that magnetic fucking toy that you I know I've seen this. You know, I mean the head the bald head and you can put different beers on it. The answer to the gentleman's question though, it's just a ton of fun and

Bill completely takes care of everything. So it's first class everything. We just I just am able to get loaded and just have a blast. Yeah, it's the best. That's good, man. Good. I would imagine it'd be fucking awesome. Uh, Jay, I heard you, uh, you're, uh, uncircumcised. Why fucking awesome. J.I. heard you, you're uncircumcised.

Why? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Do you got a life choice? Yeah. Is that a thing with Filipinos? You know what? I actually, to this day, don't know exactly why.

I need to ask my parents why they didn't do a little SNAP. Does he give you like a couple inches? Yeah, no, it keeps me warm though. He's been warmed during the winter. Yeah. He's been warm. Yeah, no, it keeps me warm though. It keeps me warm during the winter time. It keeps me warm. Yeah, it's good. I like it. Really?

I don't think I would ever, there was a time when I was getting older, you know, you have like your own autonomy where I thought about doing it. Getting a nice helmet. Yeah, making it pretty. Because everyone's all about that look. They're like, look, look. I want to be on the forefront of just having that skin.

That third world dick. I got the option. Oh, yeah, you want that fucking five o'clock? What? What? What? What? National? National? New your graphic angel looking like, no, I don't know. Well, is your girlfriend the white girl mind it? Hmm, you know what's funny? Nobody ever brings it up. And then Russ, I feel like I want, yeah, just I was queer. I was on this show. But I do want to know, no one ever said, sometimes I'm like, hey, you know, right? Listen, right now, she doesn't.

What type of white is she? She's just Minnesota pure, pure rub. Dude, 100% hatred deck. Listen to me, look at me. When you, when she knows, she has to look at it, she has to like, muster up courage. She's like this. She, I gotta go to the bathroom to look at it. She has to like muster up courage She's like this. She I get she got I got another bad first freshen up. She goes to the bathroom Okay, okay

Got it. Let's go You look down you'd see this How did someone on the internet know though? You know what's going around? No, honestly, we were. It's going around. That's the room. We got one for Joe. People know this is from King of Blunts.

Is Joe still in contact with any of you from Playboy Channel? Oh, Playboy TV. I was on King of clubs. I played Vinnie once again, typecast. I don't think so. I'm not trying to be vague. I don't think I'd talk to those guys anymore. I mean, every now and then they'll get like the old happy birthday on the internet or whatever. But I think actually hanging out and parting with those guys. I don't think any of them. That's a shame. A lot of fun on that show.

Yeah, but that's what happens on stuff like that. It's here. And that was like 11 years ago too. It was funny about that show. The only people that recognized me because it was on Playboy Channel would be like a, we'd be like cab drivers valley.

Yeah, or Jim trucker. Jim North. Jim North would be like, dude, what's happened? Good stuff. It was a lot of fun though. I'm trying to say, now, you like, dude, what's up? Good stuff. It was a lot of fun though. I'm trying to think. Now, you know, you know what?

I take that back a couple of them. I'll chat with a little bit of a couple of the girls. I'm still friends with them. But now they're like married with kids and stuff. It's more like just a nice family. They're the married with kids. See sections. Yeah, that's great.

I bet there's a nice girls. Did their kids get circumcised? I didn't see what they great. I bet there's a nice girls. Did their kids get circumcised? I didn't see what they chose. It's between them and their kid, you know, listen, man, I got to wrap this up, dude. Thank you. It's good to see you. Bob, Bob, Bobby, Robert, you call me whatever the fuck just I honestly love you. I love you. I'm really glad you're healthy. Thank you. It's so great to see you and you fucking destroy and we need guys like you in comedy. Thank you, buddy. The whole school guys that motherfuckers kill.

Yeah, you two, man. I'm so glad you came into town. I'm so happy. You got a special. Thank you. I'm so glad to fucking all things comedy stepped up. Check and date special. I'm so proud of it. Like it's good. I'm really mean it. Like it's good. And you got to check this kid out. Want to give you plug again, man. Uh, sure.

Yeah, I'm doing the special taping in December, second in Las Vegas. If you're in Las Vegas, you got to go to this. I mean, dude, very funny kid. What's your website? Where can people check? Uh, JRDGuzman.com and you can find all the socials on there too. And it was great meeting you. Yeah, like a great kid.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, man, really, man. Yeah, good thing. Good stuff. Good scene again from the elevator, bro. What's your, what's your plugs? Max Marcus commented all social media. Faster at Danny Braff on Instagram.

No, the cheese show on YouTube. I listen and mush, of course at my fissures, these guys back over here do so much for me. And you know, I'll tell you this, they're fucking hilarious kids. They've gotten so much, I mean, in the last couple of years that I've known them, you guys are killing it. I bring them on the tour with me now and they make the show possible. So go follow them on all this stuff. And when you see us out, Rutherford, New Jersey last weekend was awesome.

Joe was there. And Danny was there. They both killed and we had a great time and we got a video coming out for that coming out. Check out my stuff, punch up dot live, my special kill boxes up there for free right now, uncensored. YouTube would have to censor it. It wouldn't be shown to everybody, whatever the fuck they do. So go there, check it out. Go to robakelylive.com. I'm going to be at Skankfest, of course. I'm going to be at comedy on the call. Sing comedy on state comedy club of Kansas comics come home. Asbury, I'm everywhere, man. Please go check me out. I got so many dates. And of course, check me out, uh, at comic rebels.com, all my merchges up there and the bonfire on serious XM faction talk

uh... everyday monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday with the great big J. Ocasin. I'm having such a good time on there. I want to thank all the bonfire fans for showing up at my shows and uh... and uh... you know and supporting the new show. I know the transition was crazy and it's tough and some people are like what the fuck But a lot of you guys are so supportive and having a fun time and me and Jay having a blast So thanks for that and of course bone to pick with me in Paul Versey Which is killing it you guys are awesome so much that people are stealing our idea They're taking it to podcasts have already tried to steal our fucking idea. So wait for the next

bone to pick because that's the bone. Yeah, we're talking about and we're actually gonna call one of those podcasts up and and let them know there are bone. So stay tuned for that and and you trust me? With. Do you trust me? Okay. Look at me. Stay still. You're an idol. Take a wish. I hope it's the comeback on this podcast again. You're good.

That, people couldn't see that. I was a real idol. It was a real. That was a real moment. They were gonna shoot the boat in his mouth. It's even gonna cut. You came on my show and you did really good. But I happened too fast and blew off my eyelash.

And you got a weird hood. Got a weird hood on your dick. On your dick. Oh, why did you take away the big? You were just like regular dick. I know you don't got a big one because you're Asian and they're never that big. It's a growing not a show with baby. I bet it's only four and a half inches. It goes from two to

four and a half. The white girl you with is so disappointed. Listen man, I don't fucking know. I think I can sing. Next episode, I'm going to do a song. I just like that we just broke into song there. We did. And Barton is just fucking chilled like, he's a man. Fucking not damn me. Like Barton, I'm gonna sing like you, a little Asian boy. You guys the best dance in the world.

I hope you enjoyed the episode. Please click subscribe, like and comment. Let us know what's up and let us know who you want on the show and go to patreon.com search Robert Kelly. If you really want to support the show, go and comment. Let us know what's up. And let us know who you want on the show and go to patreon.com, such Robert Kelly. If you really want to support the show, go over there. You get to watch it live while we're doing it. Comment, be in the chat. I want to thank all you cocksackers are in the chat now. I love you to death. You're the best fans in the world. Keep spreading the word. Keep doing what you're doing. And you also get an extra extra, which I'm doing tomorrow with the great Mike V. Shoras.

That's it. We'll see you guys next week. You know what, the... Now go back to your shitty jobs.