Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe D and the Bailey Jay Aftermath

Episode Date: November 14, 2011

Robert and Joe DeRosa discuss the aftermath of their visit from shemale Bailey Jay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Glory Hall Radio Network GloryHor radio.com I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, you know what I mean? I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, you know what I mean? I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, you know what I mean? I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck in the block, I'm stuck, you know, I mean you've done fucking 90 of these. Well, you didn't say we're about to start Well now you know I'm starting so why don't you shut the fuck up? Don was talking to you don't doesn't fucking talk on the And you just started it. Hey, all right, so we're on the would you like to intro it? God you do it then not at all Bob Good

Oh shit. What was that? Oh no. Something break? No. Tell me, you just messed up the chair. We're good, babe. Come on, babe. We're good. Shit. Fuck. Wow.

Did you hear that crack? Yeah. Yeah, I fucking heard it. Maybe I'll get you a new chair. I bought this one. I'll fucking smash this chair right over the wall right I'll get you a new chair I bought this one I'll fucking smash this chair right over the wall right now fucking buy a new one tomorrow how's that sound is she staring at me yeah oh my I got the English she me with those muffins but I scream that should be me happy

all right man we're we're we're back Joe, me and you this is the this would be the first podcast after the I don't know what we call it now Bailey J incident with you counter the Inca the Billy J encounter incident makes it sound negative. Yeah, well I mean We we um, I don't know dude. What happened? I mean, I mean we had her on the show You got a little you drank a fucking pint of Jack Daniels. I did drink the whole thing. A lot of it. You drank all, you drank it like a fucking hobo.

Well, her husband drank some of it. Yeah. Um, what happened? I mean, we can't talk too much about it, because we're gonna, it's not out yet. It's coming out tomorrow. This is coming out after it. Yeah. What happened? I mean, we can't talk too much about it because it's not out yet. It's coming out tomorrow. This is coming out after it. So this is the...

Oh, geez. We can talk all about it, Joe. I forgot, okay. Because it's coming out. It already came out on Monday and Thursday. Oh, okay. So we can talk all about it, you little homo. Okay.

Let's... Yeah. Joe, you... I've seen you go from, you know, I'm not into that, I was into that for a minute, I remember talking to you about like, you know, I thought you were like she-mails, nah dude, I was in the first second,

I was into that shit for a minute, but I'm out of that, I don't care. And then all of a sudden, I brought up this Bailey J and I showed you a picture and you looked at it and you got smitten. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Uh, you know what dude? I know what it is. It's called cock delicious cock and Joe Derosa is a connoisseur. A connoisseur on cock. Uh, yeah,et homo, that's what it is. No, you like dudes, who cares? No, no, no.

You like females. No, you know what? I really was out of it for a while. I didn't do anything for me. Mm-hmm. And even with this thing, it happened, and then it kind of went away, and it wasn't, it was, that was it.

It was like she was married, and that was the end of that and I kind of I think I'm already kind of past it I just get like I get I'm always been this way I get really obsessed with a certain like arousing thing for a period of time And and it's all I can think about and then it kind kind of goes away. And I think in this case, there was no chance of me ever getting to like hook up with her, you know what I mean? So I think I just was like, all right, well, I guess that's that. And pull that like a little way from you.

Just push it back a little bit. I thought, well that was that, you know? But here it was her. It wasn't, can't stress us enough. It's not traps as she taught us to call them. It's not traps, it's her. There was something about her. Can I throw this in the mix?

Yeah. I think that there's, the one thing about females, trainees, traps, chicks with dicks, beautiful goddesses, whatever you wanna call them. What I think it is about them is that they're really hot chicks. Okay, that are somehow attainable to the regular guy. That type of chick with the big tits and the fucking, you might not be able to get that type of dirty chick, you know what I mean

You definitely can't afford a hooker like that You're never gonna really meet a chick like that who's gonna be into you maybe right? But all of a sudden you see this chick and she's a dude It kind of brings her down beneath you or to your level where you can talk to her and you're not you can Hey, what's up? What's going on? And she sounds like a girl. The other thing is, she has a cock. Right, right. You know what, I take it all back. You're gay.

Listen, there's no way around it. You're gay for fucking eight minutes or a week and a half whenever you like it. I'm trying to find the psychological, what it makes, what makes it okay to look at that and be attracted to it. What is that? What's not a matter of okay or not okay?

There's not wrong with it. It is what it is. So you would have, let me ask you a question, and be honest, would you have, if you, if that night she didn't have a husband and she went back to your house with you, would you have slept with her? She would have fucked you.

She said she would have came all over your shirt. I like the fact that you were the bottom in the fucking relationship. Well, yeah, let me specify. No, I wouldn't have let her bang me up the ass. No, I wouldn't have done that. And I don't think I would have had sex with her. I, but yeah, I think I would have, yeah,

I would have done shit with her. I would have experimented around, yeah. Experimented around. Stop making it like you're fucking a 10 year old at camp And you don't know your penises and your friends penises, okay? You know exactly what you're doing You're 32-4-4. You know What you're doing so you would want home and not experimented you would have done what well look experimented meaning I have never done Anything like that in my lies. I swear

I have never done anything like that in my life. I swear to God. I keep no secrets on this fucking podcast. I've dumped it all out. You've never sucked a con? No, I've never made out with, I've never done anything gay. Like the gay scene I've done is like a goof. If I grab your dick and go, woo-woo-woo, you know. Don't throw me into your home, man.

Well, fuck, you know. That's the only, like I've never-woo-woo. Hey, hey, don't throw me into your home, Onus. Well, look, you know. That's the only, like I've never done anything sexually gay. Right, yeah. But I would, so the, like, experiment meaning, yeah, I was attracted to her, I would hook up with her. You'd catch the turn. And we would have seen what, where it went.

Let's go through it. Let's see where it went. Let's go through it. Let's give you some fucking questions. Right. Law some scenarios, and you give me and you give me the yay or nay. Okay. Uh, go back to the house.

Hold hands, like hold hands like she's the hold hand hand holding type. Yeah, she's not that type of guy. Yeah, she was pretty direct about like how she likes to get down. Okay, so you go back she's not married. I mean, so yeah, she's not married. So you go back to the room, your house your house your a little buzzed after the bar and She as you're walking back she grabs you and starts making out with you would you do that? Apps a fucking louley. Okay great

So you're making out with her in the five vestibules and little hallways and dude I'm way ahead of you on this already. Okay hang on now because now you're leaving out shit You're already missing details. I'm sorry because I really thought about this. Okay, all right Let you know what you go. This is why say it's well. I'm sorry. Because I really thought about this. Okay, all right, you know what, you go. This is why I say, well, I'm just gonna stop you along the way. You can keep going. No, I want you to tell me what would happen. Well, this is why I say experimenting.

I thought about that. I'm like, of course I'd make out with it. She's fucking gorgeous. Absolutely, okay. But then I thought, well, I pull her close. What would I do when I feel her boner? Okay. On my leg, because that's part of it. I'm like, would that turn me off? See, that's where I pull her close. What would I do when I feel her boner on my leg? Because that's part of it.

I'm like, would that turn me off? See, that's where I don't know. I don't know how I'd feel at that point. I really don't know. I think... If you felt they're fucking... Because you're gonna stand, that's gonna do something to you because you're making it hard.

I know. And that does something. You have such a low self-esteem, that would actually do something for you. Of course it would. Yeah, of course it would. such a low self-esteem, that would actually do something for us. Of course it would. Yeah, of course it would. I think low self-esteem is in the mix.

I know a friend who was, I had a bunch of friends who were gay in college, but there was one guy in particular, who was a very good looking dude. And he always used to, he thought I was cute or whatever. And I had always flirt with him. Really?

And he'd always be like, stop teasing me. And I'd flirt with him because it made me feel good. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's terrible, look at it. It's not, look man, it's terrible in the thing that's set up for us, you know what I mean? As guys, you're either a straight guy who likes chicks

or you're a gay guy. You know, anything in the middle is fucking weird to people or You know this you know with straight guys you're the gay and not right I Think that I mean no, I mean look dude you you like the attention. I have a I used to have a rule I used to tell people this you know because I'd go and you know I wouldn't go with a hot chick sometimes I'd go with a fucking fattier

You know, because I'd go with, you know, I wouldn't go with hot chicks sometimes. I'd go with a fucking fatty or kind of goofy looking bitch or something like that. People like, do why, you know, what the fuck, what are you doing? It's like, I like someone who likes me. Right. That's, you wanna know how to get into my fucking

wheelhouse like me a lot. And I like you. I like people who like me. And that goes into anything. Even Twitter, Facebook, fans, you know, in the, you like people who like me and that goes into anything even Twitter Facebook fans, you know In the bill you like people who like you that's a fucking turn on. It's it makes you feel good Yeah, it makes it easier to like them because you know how much they like you it's it's so yeah, so this this girl You know I

Like you It feels good. You want the attention. So I don't think it's, I mean, here's a society we brought up and I mean, look, fucking, what is it? Not even fucking, 60 years ago, 50, what is it? What year are you in?

80, yeah. Exactly, civil rights. Civil rights in the 60s. 60s, yes. 60 years. About 60, 70 years actually now now because I get fucked up with the 2000. 2007 year.

6 50 years. But 50. How is it 50? 1960 to 2011 is 51 years. Is it? Is it really? Yeah, because to to 1960 to 2000 be 40 years. I'm sorry.

Well, the 60, but it was before that I'm looking for like I'm looking at the 40s When blacks couldn't drink out of the fucking same fountain and the 60s they kind of started to be able to do it. Yeah That was civil rights movement was the 60s right right okay, so but the 40s was when it was bad It was bad up until the 60s It was I have for the 60s. It was a real shit show for that It was good back in the day day Fucking the way slavery yeah, well before that back when the fucking you know the Lion King shit That was in Africa. Yeah back in Africa

Yeah, I thought you were talking about you back in the fucking you know the fucking Tutsi tribes and shit boy. All right, go ahead. What's your uh, I'm sorry. I don't know black history. I got to focus it on February this year. It's really just that black history month February. Yeah, this is really just basic history. They didn't they didn't teach that shit in history, dude.

They didn't teach you about the civil rights movement in my when I didn didn't teach you about that dude in my... I grew up in Medford. No we didn't... we learned about A-blinking, we learned about fucking the Civil War, we learned about... we didn't even learn about Vietnam or any of that shit or any of those fucked up things. No, we learned about basic history. God damn that's hilarious. Yeah, we didn't... They didn't teach us that we and do not didn't know we did bad shit to black people we have like one black kid in my fucking schools we were in the Italian part of town very segregated yeah well when I was in west mefford it wasn't yeah Boston's very segregated where a medford you know west mefford had blacks section and then it had a white part self-mefford didn't have any

blacks no white bar you know what I mean it was very segregated the school was too I mean a black section and then it had a white part. Self-measure didn't have any blacks. No, it had a white part. You know what I mean? It was very segregated. The school was too. I mean, my first from first to sixth, I had a lot of black kids in my school. My first black check every day to Janine McKay, sexy tall. Black woman.

Tall motherfucker. But, um, all right. So anyway, so what was your how are you creating this black history to Billy J I'm trying to get out of the map did you know how does this relate to Billy J I'm trying to get out I don't know now I'm lost because I I hate that I fucking I'm gonna edit this I don't edit it I'm not gonna edit anything dude I'd never edit anything that be funny if it goes from there to this I'd never anything it just dude, I'd never edit anything. That'd be funny if it goes from there to this.

I'd never anything, it just goes because I took it out. That'd be hilarious. Anyways. I don't know what I was trying to say Joe. You were saying that it's because the culture we're in, and I think what you were getting at was in a perfect world. We could just bang a check or bang a dude and nobody would have anything to say. There wouldn't be any of this horseshit that comes along with it where people are going

really and what? I think it's changing. I think it's changing. I think the young guys that are coming up now, they know what gay is. They know what bisexual is. This glee and all this, you know, there's a lot of gay marriages, legal in what gay is. They know what bisexual is. There's glee and all this, you know, there's a lot of gay marriages legal in so many states that the next generation's coming up.

It's like the generation that came up where you're at school with black people, you know, holy shit, that didn't happen. It's interesting. So it's being filtered out of our society, gay or straight. You can, you, like, you know, I think in years to come that, you know, hey, I'm gay, you know, good for you.

Who cares, you know, nobody's gonna care. Oh, you could be both. You could go with a girl hot chick like Bailey, who has a cock and literally, you know, take her to a movie and go down and fucking nobody's gonna say shit to you. Right, right. That's the, well, yeah, right. It's also too because though, excuse me,

it's also, sorry dude, we live in a very progressive city. You know, New York and LA, New York LA, Atlanta, San Francisco, these are towns that have like an artsy scene and all that stuff. It's like these are the kinds of places where you can, it's a much more open perspective and mentality about this shit. You know, it's funny dude, you travel into Pennsylvania even and it's like all of a sudden like homophobia is still fucking rampant. Well, Pennsylvania, I don't know if you know this, has like the highest percentage of KKK. Yeah, I know. It's weird. It's fucking weird. I don't know if you know this has like the highest percentage of KKK. Yeah I know. It's not weird. It's fucking weird. People don't know that shit.

People think the KKK is down in the south and Mississippi and shit. It's fucking right down the road. It's right down the street. It's so racist there dude. You know I'm from there. I love PA but it's like it's not a very open-minded place in many areas The last time I was there it's funny. I was doing a show with the Janus Popus really funny dude and he did. Very funny you'd like him a lot. But he was doing a joke about something about he did some joke about gay rights, and it fucking bombed, it bombed. Really? Because it was pro gay rights.

And then I went up and I go, I go fucking Pennsylvania, I go, Jesus Christ you guys, you guys, when somebody says something progressive here, you guys react the way people do when somebody says racist shit anywhere else. You know what I mean? You guys get like all weird, like, what the way people do when somebody says race is shit anywhere else. You know what I mean, you guys get like all weird, like what the fuck is this guy's deal, you know?

I'm like, what is, and then that bombed, because they were just like, yeah, so what, you know what? I mean, like, I have that whole thing in my act about gaze, you know, like being, you know, being, you know, don't be gay, you know, I grew up with that in my life. What do you gay? Don't be a little fag. Don't be gay.

Don't be a little sissy boy. Right. When I all day was, I was wanted to be a sissy boy. I just wanted to cry because my life sucked. My mom was getting beat. I was getting hit. My sister was getting hit. We live with a fucking monster.

And I was like, I want to suck it up. Be a fucking man, you know. It's brutal, dude. Yeah, it's brutal. And you can't, you can't cry, you can't fucking, you know. Be a little, don't be a little, I remember one of the biggest things back in the days. I think it was fifth grade or something. Fifth grade, sixth grade was someone spread a rumor

that I was gay and it killed me. I didn't, you know, I was just like, oh man, I didn't even know what it was. You know, really? But it was like, I knew it was bad. And it sucked. This cock-sucking kid that it was a bully spread this rumor about me.

And then it was like, I had people, these kids after me and these people call me Fag. And then that's when I snapped. That's when I got to seventh grade and it kind of went over into there and that's when I started using drugs and I learned that you fucking snap when people, you beat the fuck out of somebody, you try to kill them.

And then it goes away, then people respect you. That's where I got that anger from because when people fuck with you, you beat the fuck out of them. You just fucking start hitting them with a fucking pipe, a stick, whatever the fuck you got, until they cry, until they're begging for life, and they stop.

And that's how you stop that. Other than that, you just have to learn to take it and not care. But I was so fucked up and hurt and fucking, at that point in my life, I didn't know how to do that. Other than that, you just have to learn to take it and not care. But I was so fucked up and hurt and fucking, at that point in my life, I didn't know how to do that. And nobody fucking told me. You know, nobody told me like fuck them. My mother was all over the place.

I didn't have a fucking dad. My sister and me separated just to survive each other, survive the bullshit we're in. So you know, Fag was whole, what do you, an asshole? And then growing up and especially doing comedy and moving to New York City, it's like you meet gay people all the time and it's like, what the fuck? I missed out on so much fun shit. Yeah.

And I could have done so many fun parties in fucking high school. Yeah, they're a good guy there. Theme bash. Theme bash. Dude, they're a good time. This is what kills me with guys, guys that are homophobic.

It's like, dude, I don't understand what you're homophobic about. Cut out the part where you think they want to have sex with you. Just get that out of your head. Because they probably don't. Yeah, that's the dirt. Yeah, dudes. They're doing all the shit dudes want to do all the time. Yeah, but they, yeah, but they party and having a great time.

And they're funny. Yeah, but they yeah, but they party and having a great time and they're funny. Yeah, silly bitches and they don't I remember I went to my wife's massage therapist, her friend Bill and I went in and you know, I was like, you know, you want me to you want me to take my pants off. He's like, no, just a shirt. I'm like, you know, I'm gonna, you know, and he didn't want nothing to do with me. I was like, God, God damn it. I kept rising my ass up off the bed. Like my inner thigh, he was like, no. Because gay guys are guys, dude.

They want prime rib, dude. They want the prime fucking, you know what I mean? There are shallow as we are with chicks. They want the fucking... You think Bailey, you think Bailey would have, if she wasn't married, you think she would have hooked up with you with me yeah well she said she would have on the thing God damn self esteem now yeah I think she would have and you would have

I believe that when she was a kid to kiss their absolutely would a kid you would have went home yep would have got naked I think so yeah and I've what have you took her pants off she had tidy whiteies on with that body You boxers. Yeah, she's like old fruit of the loans. She was wearing boxer briefs Yeah, I would kind of ruin it. She's wearing the same underwear marking Mark wore on the Calvin Klein ass Yeah, that would that would be disturbance now. Here's the thing now you get naked in the bed and you feel it I'm gonna feel way before that. It's my point. No, here's the thing now you get naked in the bed and you feel it.

I'm gonna feel way before that. It's my point. Oh, what do you mean? Dude, you're making out with a, I mean, you can feel the warmth of a vagina when you're making out with a chick. There is no way you're not feeling that cock. Fuck you, dating chicks with easy bake oven pussy. What are you talking about? I'm saying you pull a chick close to you. Yeah, on top of you, you feel that fucking,

you know, you feel something. And it's slight, but you feel it. So I'm saying there's no way you're not feeling or fucking hog, unless she's got that thing taped up. That thing's too big to tape, I've seen it. You've seen it, you've never done it. On the videos, yeah. But do you still wanna see it in real life?

Dude, I swear to God, I'm not just saying this. Like, I think like once I knew I couldn't have it, it took me a few days to just get it out of my head, but I think I'm just kind of over it. I think I'm, I was like, all right. You're over it for now. Until she, until she what? Until she fucking gives you a little more, you know, maybe a little, maybe she gives you

a little bit, maybe, what if they broke up? What if Matt and her broke up and she called you up? Yeah, I'd hang out with her. Yeah, yeah. Look, it's all theoretical right now. Right. That, this is what I'm saying, dude. It's like, you want to kiss me, Joe?

You know what it's like, dude? This is what it's like, you want to kiss me, Joe? You want to kiss me, dude? You want to kiss me, dude? This is what it's like. This is a good analogy. The first time, the first time I auditioned at the comedy seller, right? Oh, that's gotta be good. I failed, I didn't pass.

Right, second time. Second time I passed. But like the first time I auditioned, I failed. I passed. Second time I failed passed. You the first time I audition, I failed. I passed. Second time I failed. You failed, passed.

Yeah, yeah. Second time I got a sympathy vote. Second time we had a mushy through. Oh God. That worked. That worked for a week and a half. No. That's much shitty cloud I have there.

No, but the first time I auditioned there, right? I'd build it up. I'd build it up so much in my head. And I had to have it. I was obsessed with it because I knew it was tough crowd and Colin and you and Burr and Patrice, every Keith, Jim, Capallo, everybody, you name it, DuVos, the list was fucking endless. And everybody I respected worked there. I wanted to work around all those guys and all you guys,

and I didn't know any of you that well at the time, right? But I knew you well enough to at least get the audition, and I got the audition, and I got the audition and I failed. And after I failed and I couldn't have it, the obsession went away. I didn't care anymore. I was just kind of like, I still kind of like, so when people would say to me,

don't you want to work at the seller? And of course I eventually went back, but I was like, yeah, I think I do, but I don't know, I audition, it didn't happen. It's done, like I'm done. So that's kind of how I felt about that night. I felt like I was so geared up for that night and meeting her and thinking like,

we're all gonna be drinking. It's Halloween. You dressed up. You know, you came in, you washed your balls. Oh yeah. You were ready to go. I was ready to go. You were ready to go.

And then when it didn't happen, it was like that. It was like, I'm not saying I wouldn't, but I definitely don't have the fire that I had because I was like, as you can't see it, it's just that's it. Yeah, you don't have the passion for the cock that you had, right? I wouldn't phrase it that way, but yeah, I love how much you wanted to suck a dick that night. And it was a day gone to make jerk one off.

Dude, let me tell you something. You put one in your hand, you're putting it in your mouth. Yeah, tell half of the girls I date that. Here's the there's a thing, dude, I don't think that she would have if you if she let you grab it and start jerking it, there's no way you're going to your little shoulders are going to be able to fucking like resist her pushing your head down to

that cock. She be. She be. You should video tape says this is a visual. My impression of Bailey J trying to push me down the sucker dick. I got I got you ready. Go ahead. This is my impression of Bailey J trying to push me down the sucker dick.

This is my impression of Billie J. Try to push me down the sucker dick. Just fucking. Dude, it's it's well, you know what, dude, it was it was a fun fucking podcast. And I give her in Matt, the one thing that I love about I don't give a shit what you have to respect that she just doesn't give a shit man she's who she is he fucking who he's who he is and they like each other and they fuck around they do their shit they make their money she's a pretty girl man that video if you haven't seen the video go to go to my app YouTube site. It's our K app on YouTube. It's out there. It's on my app If you already have the app, which is free by the way if you haven't have the iPhone app grab that fucking thing

If you don't have it, you're an idiot if you have an iPhone I am but if I'm yeah, it's on the it's on the it's on the it's on a she is a woman Yeah, she's a woman. Yeah, I watch, she's a girl. I've watched that video. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing how pretty she is. You know what I mean? You're looking over, like one point I'm looking at my wife

and she's just sitting there grumpy. You know what I'm like, she's Chris, could you fem up a little bit? Ha ha ha. That's weird. And she's, she's a real girly girl too. Very girly girl, but you could see this is the thing that would happen is the, the guy would come out like you'd get no an argument, she'd be like, fuck you.

And you'd be like, whoa, like, you know, she'd, you know, you don't, the guy would pop out down the road with you. You think so? She's, you know, she's an alpha, um, L, you know, she's alpha. She's alpha. But she's girl alpha. I've dating alpha chicks before. Yeah. You know, it's like, she's not, but that's the thing, dude.

You know what, I disagree in all that time that we talked to her. And I went out with them after. I went to a bar with them after. We hung out. You really fucking would beg in for it. Dude, she showed me, there's a band I love called Life of Agony,

they're a metal band. I've listened them since high school. Yeah. I don't even know this. She just goes out of the blue. She's like, we're just sitting there and she goes, do you like that band Life of Agony? I was like, fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah, you listen to them and she was like, she's like, I don't really listen to them. She's like, but the lead singer is a chick now. He got the, really? And I was like, what? And I looked it up online and he's a fucking chick now. What song is it? Nothing you'd know.

Nothing you'd know. Just like an indie metal band. You know, like, I ever see a Tokyo hotel, that band, a hotel, I think it's Tokyo Hotel. The lead singer is like this fucking gorgeous little boy. He's like this girl. You're like, oh my god, just stop it, stop confusing me. Oh shit.

Well, you know what, it made me realize when I was in my, when I was in bed with my my like I have no problem with it I think it's you know look I get it dude. It's fucking the something about it. There's something about her Especially when you talk to her she's so cool and fun and a nice person man She's a nice person so you can't fuck with that you can't there's no way around that I don't care who you have to be an outright big it this shicks got us bad dude this is I just realized this is the fourth podcast that we've talked about her you know what dude this is it this is the last one okay we're done holy shit it's over right now. This is a saga. Well, we got it. You got it. We're fucked.

And all we needed is just to suck one cock and swallow one load and we would have been over. That's all we needed. That's all she had to do. That's all we needed. Come on. This is a four part. I mean, you got to though, because we did the lead up into it. The love, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, We wish Matt and Bailey much love in their relationship. You know, and I'm glad that she has a relationship and they're both happy. And I'm glad you didn't get to fuck her, Joe.

You know what, I gotta be honest. I'm kind of glad too, because when I hung out with them at the bar, it was like, you know what? They're happy. This is a cool couple. They're fun people to hang out with. I really like him a lot. He's a good dude. Yeah, they're fun people to hang out with. I really like him a lot. He's a good dude fucking good dude

So she It coming home Joe that's the first time you call their adieu In four weeks. Yeah, no there. They're good people and I was like like when I was hanging with them I go you know what if I like a party or some shit This is like a couple I don't want to fight absolutely guys. You got to meet these two. I would I'm gonna, I go, you know what? If I had like a party or some shit, this is like a couple I'd want to fight. Absolutely. Guys, you gotta meet these two. I would, I'm gonna fucking,

I wanna do other shit with him. I love her, I think she's great. I like him. I wanna do other things with him, dude. I just, what? I just pictured the for you, you don't know, still on a vacation. Remember that part, good fellas?

Where he's like, we went on vacation together. We're showing all the pictures of him in the mirror, the stills. Just be me sneaking away. Yeah, where you going? I gotta go take a pee. Let me come Bobby, what are you doing in there? Mind your business mind your business honey I'm helping Bailey on where a van drew Holy shit Bailey. We love you. Oh, damn it. Please go to her website, Baileyj.com and listen to her podcast on iTunes. It's a fucking cool podcast.

Turner husband and they do collars and just got to shitload of fans. So let's move on. Let's move on to, you know, I got a fucking, this is pretty crazy, man. And I, I, I came up with this fucking idea, you know, CERPACO came down to the Fort Lauderdale Friday, Thursday, flew down, you know, he's got the camera. So he called me up a week ago, whatever it was. I was like, dude, I'm thinking of coming down to Fort Lauderdale, he's got the camera. So he called me up a week ago, whatever it was. I was like, dude, I'm thinking of coming down

to Fort Lauderdale, fucking around with the camera. You know, he's got his camera, he's got that five Ds. Learning how to do all this stuff. And I was like, cool, fuck it, great. And I think we'll film, you know, we'll film your shit Friday night because we're trying to get my hour special. Trying to figure that deal out where we're gonna do it,

how we're gonna do it. Comedy Central Pass, they don't want it. They don't? Nope. Nope, the jokes and the demographic, and I don't know, dude. What are they, what? I don't know. All right, let's not go down that road.

No, we can, fuck it, why not? I don't hate, look, I get it, I mean, look. I don't, I don't get it either. I get the fact that it's okay because I'll do it on my own. I'm still gonna do it. It might be the best thing for me. It might, like, down the road, it might be, like, holy shit. Thank God I didn't do it with them.

Because it wouldn't have been this. Right. It would have been that. Right. I don't wanna do a fucking, I don't do it with them, because it wouldn't have been this. Right. It would have been that. Right. I don't wanna do a fucking, I don't wanna blue curtain behind me with my name, and I don't wanna fucking have the same fucking crowd as some other motherfucker.

I want my crowd. Right. I don't want your crowd. Right. I don't wanna shoot two shows in one night. Yeah, I got you. I get it. I'm not putting that down, you know, but I just, I would love one night. Yeah, I got you. I get it. I'm not putting that down, you know,

but I just, I would love to shoot my special. I got you. But they passed whatever. I would have done it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Alternatives really cool ideas and he came down and he's like, let's go through the day. Let's film some shit And we just sitting there the night It was Wednesday night with like running over the shit like what do you want to do? We're gonna do man on the street ship blah blah blah and then we're just sitting there We come up he's like dude. I was gonna rent the car from tomorrow. It's like a hundred and fifty bucks

He's bitch, you know, he's a nickel chaser And he goes a u-haul is 1995. I go rent that. Fucking rent that. That's hilarious. You pick me up in a fucking, we have to go get a U-Haul. And I'm pissed off. And then we started talking. I'm like, dude, we do a show out of the back

of the fucking U-Haul, where we just pull up. And I pop out of the back or something. U-Haul where we just pull up and I pop out of the back or something. And we'll just start talking to people. We go to the U-Haul place, the guy who owns the U-Haul place is fucking Kamar, the best guy ever. We start talking to him, Syrupacos is a fucking mad scientist. He starts looking around going, can we borrow these chairs?

He's like, sure. And he's like, sure. And he's like, what about this sign? That was like a fold up chalkboard sign? He's like, yeah, there was a big clown head. He's like, can I get that? He's like, sure. He goes, you need a rug?

And the guy, we gave us a rug. Nice. The CERPICO set up a studio like a fucking, in the back of the U-Haul. I saw the picture of this on the line. I was like, what the fuck is this? Dude, yeah. And we set up this fucking studio, like a talk show thing,

and we fucking, we fucking just drove around, pulled up to a Starbucks. Great. What's up, rolled up the back. It said the Robert Kelly show on the chalkboard. Two chairs, we had the microphones, we had the camera, and I grabbed some doctor dude, this chick and all of, this chick that was going to make up school

and all our friends at having coffee. We got these three cowboys, bull riders. We pulled up at a Barnes and Noble, and they were just, we like, hey, you guys wanna be on the show? They jumped on the show. The guy Kamar from the place, we did all these fucking interviews. We just regular fucking people.

Literally, we drive around in the funny, some of the funniest things is trying to get people to do it. Like, Cervicals, there's an oldie and a bike, and he's, you know, hey, we're doing a talk show out of the back of the thing, you wanna get in and do, I'm like, dude, you can can't you can't ask an old day at a bike at a gas station if she wants to get in the back of a you haul with your New York accent.

Oh, did it is shaved head. And everything. Yeah, to bought me too. I'm in the front. Oh, Jesus. That's hilarious. And it's it's fucking I can't tell you how fucking crazy it is how unbelievable the shit It's like the simplest idea always the best idea that fucking just blew the fuck up always the best idea, right?

I don't know dude you hall Retweeted the tweet. They were like this is is the best I, this is the, a great, a great way to do a talk show. The fucking, the head Twitter account from the little genmit Twitter guy, Twitter account from U-Haul loves it. Well, I just had an idea, but I'm not going to say it on the thing. Okay, good, don't. I just had an idea, but I'm not gonna say it on the thing. Okay good don't Ask me after all right cool might be helpful, but we're gonna have actually we're gonna have comics on it And they're gonna do comedy in the fucking you hall Like we have gonna have bands

Did you just cruise around New York and do it right? We're gonna cruise around every this is the thing dude I do comedy this is the whole thing. I do comedy all over the country right so it's I go in the day early We rent the you hall and we go do the Robert Kelly show for a day. And then we come in and we do the show. We get everybody to fucking go to the show. But here's the thing, the fans of the show, I'm going to start fucking, I'm going to have a Twitter account. So it's like those fucking taco vans. So it's like, look, we're going to be on the Westside highway at three o'clock today and we get a special Band gonna be playing right out of the you hall and they'll be on top of the you hall and you come down and for you Ten people or a thousand people. It's great

I can have you on the show and you can do your fucking stand up in front of a fucking crowd at a mall parking lot Just because they know the show is gonna be there. That's great. So I love it. That's a great idea. Fucking cool, right? Yeah, it's great. The Robert Kelly U-Haul, fucking loads of comedy. If you put away prizes, it's gonna be crazy. Loads of comedy.

It's gonna be crazy. Keep a comedy moving. I'll show you, we got a lot of shit going on, but dude, it's out of fucking no. That's fucking brilliant, man. That's when I love about those guys, that's how they work. Right? Yeah, well don't say those guys, it's more singular,

but go ahead, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But you call them, you're like this, I was thinking of this, they go, well what about this, well what about this, what about this boom, and then next thing? The best, I mean, they're fucking unbelievable. Really, Apostle is the,

you know, unfuckin' believable. And you gotta be careful, like I told you, I've said some stuff before, joking around and they have a meeting. Look at what happened with us. We were, hey, what about Ralph Machio, next week later, we're in the room with Ralph going, so, so we have this idea.

Yeah, it was, they're great, man. They're really great. And speaking of a puzzle, we should we should plug it. We're both doing comics come home on Saturday. Oh, is this gonna be after that? After that. Remember how this works. I'll tell you, yeah, it's gonna be after that. Well, how about that comics come home, Bob? Hell of a set you had. Here's the thing is I actually watch the... We could talk about this for a minute too.

I just wanted to get that show out there because I want people to start looking for it because things are going to start happening. That's great dude. I want people to start knowing that that's going to be there. We're going to have a Twitter account and a Facebook page for it and all that shit and things are going to start happening with it, hopefully. I mean, look dude, you know this business. We've been fucking doing our secret project for a year.

We got a big phone call this week. And by the time this airs, it already happened, it's a good phone call. I hope so. And the book we have a book meeting this week. Yep, which is another good thing, Joey. Yeah. Dude, I just can't wait to be in the airport.

Fucking, and go buy that stupid bookstore that Barnes and Noble or whatever the fuck and see fucking cheat a man's guide. It's pretty wild. I can't do it. I can't fucking wait to go in and hold a book and know, you know, that I fucking wrote this with my buddies. It's pretty fucking wild, man. It's pretty fucking wild, man. It's pretty fucking wild, you know.

It's crazy. It's goofy. It's goofy. Author's motherfucker. I was laughing about the other night. I was like talking to, I can't remember. Who was, no wait, who was it? It was a, oh, it was Patrick from Crinch Humor.

Yeah. It was like, what's going on with you guys? Did it out, it was Patrick from Crinch Humor. Yeah. It was like, what's going on with you guys? Did it out? I was telling about the book. And I was just laughing. I just feel so bad. Like there's some fucking asshole in a cabin somewhere working on his fifth unpublished novel.

Yeah. You just like, you guys are jerk off. You want to write a book? Okay. I mean, you smoke his last cigarette. But again, the simplest idea. Right. But here's the difference.

You ready? Here's, I was trying to tell this young comic this the other day. Here's the difference. There's a difference between doing and not doing. There's a difference between saying, do that be a great idea? Right.

Or sitting there for a fucking day. Or and whatever, like the movie. Yeah, it's a great idea for a movie. That would be a great movie. Yeah, it would be. We were like, fuck that. That'd be great. We're doing this.

And then the book, you guys should write a book. What do you think about that? What are we gonna do? You're gonna write 30 pages. Okay, yeah, let's do it. Now, we could have did that and nothing could have happened. Could have been waste of our fucking time, but we did it and we sold it.

It was a year ago, almost a year, almost a year ago today that we sold the book. I don't know if you know that. It was December, yeah, yeah. Let me see. If you were in your Aruba trip. And yeah, well, dude, it's, you Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you were in your Aruba trip. And yeah, well, dude, it's, you know, listen, it's even if, even if nothing happened, it wouldn't have been a waste of time

because like, because of that, I know how to write a book proposal now. It's like, I understand what a book proposal is now. Right. It's got to be 20 pages, roughly. It needs to represent the arc of the book. Yeah. These are how long you should make the chapters.

This is what kind of shit you should put. Like, I get that now, and it's like that, that ain't of itself. This huge. Was just such a... I wrote 20,000 words. And I get, you know, it kills me. I get shit from my spelling, and I get it.

I get it. It's annoying to people on the hot, you're in yay and nay and fucking we and we're and fucking to. I get it. And it's, it's, uh... y que es una cosa que no es que no hay que ver. Y yo es un hombre que te lo pide. Y yo es un hombre que te lo pide. Yo he hecho esto y es... es... familia y amigos la navidad cobra vida con Ife ma Madrid. Entre en Ife ma punto es y compra tu entrada. Ife ma Madrid siente la inspiración. dummy, it's you know, it's like, you know, I, I get it, I get it, I bug some people, you know what I mean, I get it. But here's a deal.

Stupid, you shouldn't get it, that's a fucking dirt, they're assholes. No dude, I look, look, I do the same thing, you do the same thing with certain things, we do the same thing with, when people are trying to be, you know, ah, funny. And it's like, dude, I'm just trying to be funny. All right, stupid, shut your face. Yeah, but you know who I don't do it to? What? People that I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

And I get it. Right. And I've gotten the messages, we've talked about this before and people send messages and go, Joe, don't take it so personally. This is why people do that. And like, thank you for those messages. Because I know you're trying to make me feel better

about it. I appreciate it. But it's, to me, come on, bullshit, man. I don't fucking know. I don't care if you're sending me a funny thing and you're breaking my balls a little bit. You know what I mean? Like the other day, I tweeted why. I just wrote why, question mark, tweeted it out to see what people respond.

And one guy wrote, because you realize you like cock now or something like that. And I was laughing because I was like, that's a funny joke, pretend to stuff on our pocket. We were joking about it. Yeah, that's one thing. I don't like when fucking people get personal, like that shit's personal.

They're coming at you going, you fucking idiot. And it's like, dude, don't fucking, you don't fucking know me man Yeah, like people give me shit This is another thing that people give me shit for this guy actually gave me shit I didn't block them because I don't think he's not a fan But it's like they expect this is what kind of fucking bugs me man And I wish we spent more time on this podcast talking about this is it's fucking amazing to me that,

you know, I flew out on Wednesday. I filmed all day for nothing. Just me and Cerepico came up and we filmed, Louis, making shit up as we go, to make something creative for people to enjoy all day. Then I went and I filmed, I did my show at night and then I did four shows after that. And during the day, I came up with other shit.

And I was, and then I, last night, after my last show, I edited a film for the podcast for people to enjoy, to see what we do, visually. So they can see how it is with the Bailey J. And now we're doing this podcast today, Sunday. And you're over here. And then, you know, I'm doing shows this week. I mean, it's like, I do so much creatively

and to entertain these fucking people, the fans. I try to be as funny as possible. I never try to fuck them. I try to create with the podcast. I try to put, you know, like, you know, I try to do videos. I try to all this shit. And then on Twitter, they want me to be funny all the time. They don't want me to, I'm promoting the podcast. I'm promoting my dates. I'm promoting a video That I made which is funny Which is good shit, which is interesting creative shit, which is what I fucking do a TV show or a movie that I'm doing It's what I fucking do right. I've been doing for 20 years, right, you know

I am not a fucking professional, 140 character, Twitter, funny dude. That's not my fucking thing. Once in a while, I'll tweet something funny or interesting or whatever. But I don't sit there and fucking try. Not only do I have to make a podcast once a week, which is a fucking pain in the ass.

It's not as easy as you, what do you think it's easy? For fucking you and me to sit here. And fuck, it's not. It's not a, it takes commitment to you, to the people listening, we do this. And to do shows, to fucking get on a plane and go out and I mean, Thursday night show was shit. There were a bunch of fucking savages.

The worst show I've had in over a year. Friday night, Saturday night, probably some of the best standing ovation Friday night. Right. legitimate. I went, thank you, good night, boom. Play shot up. Nice.

One of the best shows you know what I mean but I do these shows and then you not only that you want me to fucking you want to be able to look at your phone and me make you laugh like your little monkey but tired of it man tired of it it's intrusive it's too much I'm getting rid of my Facebook page I'm changing it into a fan page because it's just, and look, I appreciate everybody that's ever messaged me or anything like that, but it's just too much. It's too much like it's not tap dance in 24 hours of fucking day. And it bothers me, man. It fucking bothers me. I don't like, you were just saying it. I was, the fuck was it?

The tw- Ah, shit. You were saying about the Twitter? Yeah. Well, here's a deal, dude. I can't remember now. Oh, oh, last night. Well, you were saying about all the shit you do.

Yeah. It's like, I had a blast. Blast last night at Anthony's house. Doing the secret show to the future thing. We had a fucking ball. And when it ended, he brought the cameras out into the main bar and we karaokeed on camera and shit. It's like, this is the part people don't get.

They just see it and go, that's a funny goof. Oh, look at them never having to do anything. You know what I mean? And look, obviously it's not hard work to do karaoke and drink. It's fun. You know what's hard, but. You know what the fucking button is that you're doing?

You're actually hitting a button and letting you assholes watch. Well, it's, you know, Anthony's doing that, right? But then it's like, dude, come 5.30 a.m. When my body is going, dude, you're done. Go to bed. Right. And, when my body is going dude, you're done go to bed right and you're just sitting there going No, fuck it man. The fans are still watching. There's still people watching. We got to keep going You know what I mean? Yeah, fucking I was all I but I mean that's

There's one dude a truck driver and fucking Arkansas keep going truck driver and fucking Arkansas. He's going, can you go with me on this please? But I'm telling you, dude, we hit a point last night where I was like, I'm gonna fucking pass out, dude. I'm so tired right now. I'm so fucking alcohol is tired. All right. Can we keep poisoning your body with Anthony Kumi? Trying to keep up with that fucking midlife crisis. I run neck and neck with him. Oh my god Love him. He is such a happy drunk man. I was on the show with dad. Oh, he goes

Wow, Therosie. Can you drink and Anthony was like oh, Therosie can put them down I hope he went like oh shit. All right. I have Anthony's give it you and I felt like Father of fucking booze, but the Godfather of ghosts But you know my point is is that it's like even when even when something like that is silly and as a good much of a goof is That is there's still that thing in you going. I'm trying to give I'm trying to give more There's still people on you stream. They're still watching. I don't wanna tap out on them. And people appreciate that and it's great when they do, but then there's a lot of people

that don't appreciate shit like that. And it's just more, more, more, more tap dance all the fucking time. It's a dude, I got a life man. Well dude, here's the deal man. I promote you promote to, is that all you do is promote on Twitter, say something funny.

I am a fucking professional stand up comic. Okay? You come to one of my shows, I'll fucking guarantee. If you're following me, if you laugh, if you know me, you'll laugh. I'm funny. Right. I'm funny. Come see me do stand up. I'm funny. Right. I'm funny. Right come see me do stand up I had a bunch of ONA fans this weekend dude. I hear you on the show all the time. It's my first time holy shit

Exactly, I fucking exactly right, okay? It's like yeah, I'm this is what I do. I didn't I don't do open Anthony I'm not a radio guy, right? Okay. I don't do, I don't do open Anthony. I'm not a radio guy. Okay, I don't do Twitter. I've been doing stand-up fucking comedy for 19 years. That's what I fucking do. I create, I can act. Dude, you can act, I saw you in Louis.

Yeah, I've been, yeah, thanks. I thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Don't act so fucking surprised. This is what I do. I do this, this, thanks. I, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Don't act so fucking surprised. This is what I do. I do this. This is what I do. I'm not a fucking Twitter expert. I, look, I, I'm fucking cool with it.

There's some people that fuck Andy Levy. What's it, Andy Levy? He fucking gave me shit one day. Well, you're not, you're not funny on Twitter. No, I'm not. I don't, no, I'm not. I'm a fucking standup. I'll go up and do an hour and blow the fucking roof off a place.

Right. Okay? That's what I do. I don't sit there and go, and what can I, what, witty, how can I be funny in 140? I get it. He makes me laugh.

Morgan Murphy makes me laugh. I'm a fan of their twitters. Like the people that are funny on Twitter, Colin makes me laugh with his'm a fan of their Twitters, like the people that are funny on Twitter call and makes me laugh with his horseshit on Twitter. But I just don't get what the fuck just leave me alone. I'm trying to get people to come to my show. I'm trying to get people listen to my podcast to check out a video that I made or a TV show that I'm doing. That's what I'm working hard at. You know what I'm starting to realize is,

I don't, number one, I don't think we need Twitter as much as we think we do. I don't think we need it. And if people care, they'll find it, they'll find the information. And I think when people give you shit on there, not you, I'm just saying in general, everybody, when any of us get shit about that, I think that's people

saying, hey man, this is not the place for that. This is a social network where it's meant to be social. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, all right, that's, that's the way I respect him. Hey man, I didn't follow you. I don't follow you. I don't know who you are. You followed me for some fucking reason.

Apparently the wrong reason because what you want, I'm not giving you. Just leave. Walk out the fucking door, dude. Stop announcing. Stop standing up in the middle of the room going, this is fucking bullshit. Yeah, I mean, just get up and walk out of the movie, bro. Stop being such a fucking drama, mama. Stop being such a cunt. Stop being such a fucking pushwack. Just get up and leave, man. I get it. I get it.

And then I look at, you know, look, dude. I sometimes I say shit funny. Sometimes I'll think of a funny tweet. I'm not, you're not going to please everybody all the time, but it's like, I'm trying to get you to, from Twitter and Facebook I'm trying to get you to From Twitter and Facebook and whatever to listen to this podcast man because this is funny to me this shit is good I love the fans of this podcast, you know why because they're fans man. They're fucking the shit They email they tweet they fucking Facebook they come to the shows

This this is great. this is fucking great. They love you, they love soda, they love all the people on the fucking show. It's, that's fucking what I want. And you come to my show and I'll make it laugh, dude. I'll fucking, I wrote some funny shit. I got some funny jokes. And I got other ideas.

We got the secret project that we're working so hard to put shit out there, yes, for us, to make money and to create and to have our things that we think are funny out there. But it's also for you. The book is for you, motherfucker. The people that like us. The movie we made was for you.

The secret project is for you, man. Yeah, you always create, to some extent, for an audience. I mean, obviously, you know. Apps are fucking literally we do. You can't, you know, who wants to shit the shit in the darks in the corner somewhere, you know. So, yeah, I agree.

I agree, you know, you know, I agree. We've talked about it before. But it's just, it's just back the fuck off. Just back off. And Twitter too is like, when I look at it, I'm like, I'll never be great at this because I watch the guys that really have the legions of followers.

It's like, like, Norm McDonnell is like an expert Twitter guy. Collins, great Twitter. But they tweet. We the Andy's fucking great. Andy's great. He's great at fun. He's like almost like an expert Twitter. He can get controversy going and then

like get fights, fake fights and Morgan Murphy fucking great Twitter. Yeah, but they do it all day. All day. They do 10 a day, like 15, 20 a day. It's their podcast. Yeah. It's their book.

It's their secret project. Yeah. What are we doing here? Are we going to answer the fucking phone? No. Well, can we shut it off? Because I'm doing a fucking podcast. Can we even like, can we shut it off? Because I'm doing a fucking podcast. Can we even fake attempt to shut it off?

I mean, just fake attempt, you know? Well, can you fake it? Can you fake it? Fuck off. Magic. Oh, go fuck. I'm a ninja. I'm a ninja. I'm a ninja. I'm a married man. Why I see you guys together

I just you have you're a week away from being gay. Can we just settle down? It's gone. It's out of my sister Yeah, but look I'm not going into another I'm not going down this room. I'm not going down married red with you Fuck you why why why Why? Why? Hey, listen, you're all thinking about your fucking U-Haul talk show that you invented last year. You're all fucking like that. I love it, but I listen to the whole thing. You're excited about it. Listen, the whole thing.

I was a good friend. All right, dude. Good idea. That's a great idea. Yes. Fucking fun. It is a fantastic idea, and I am behind it 100%. Will you be on it?

Well, you know. Yeah, you will. Of course, yeah. What the fuck do I have going on? I can't get booked on a late night show to save my life. I'll be standing up in the back of a truck. I bet you get more fucking people being like, holy shit.

Of course, yeah. You did the fucking letterman show, but the fuck does the letterman do for you? Those late night guys won't touch me, man. They won't touch me either, dude. They won't fucking touch any of us. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.

You know what dude? We're going around all this shit bro. We're sneaking around the back gate. Is what we're doing. I was talking to Danny today about stand up. I don't know who Danny is. Danny from ONA. Oh Danny.

I know what Danny. Yeah he goes, we're just talking. And I go, I go, I go, Danny, I just, I hate stand up on television. I go, I go, I go, I go, Danny, I just, I hate standup on television. I go, I hate it. Except for the SHIT HBO does, I hate it. I'm tired of seeing it. Even the shit they do.

It's every, every one of the late night shows has their own brand of guy that they just keep bringing the same type of guy over and over. The specials all look the same anymore and it's like, and it's so rare that you see like a Patrice special, like his last one, one or Burz last special or something like that where you go wow that was really good man that really stood apart you know the you know couple go up here and then and there's several others obviously I'm just literally CK you know what you know he's doing what fucking he's just I you know What he's doing? What? Fucking, he's just, you know,

it almost makes me fucking angry house. Fucking, fucking, grady is. What's he doing? Just makes me sick. What's that he is just so fucking, he's, I don't know what he is, he's smart.

He's doing his next special. Are you allowed to talk about this one here? It's I read it on the internet. Oh, okay, all right. I thought you were seeing he told you this. No, he didn't fucking tell me this. I read it on the internet. He's next special.

And it's gonna be on a website. Okay, five dollars. You wanna watch it five bucks. Jesus Christ. So it's all him. He's brilliant. No network, no fucking nothing. You want to watch it. It comes out tonight on a fucking Louis CK something and use five dollars and

you can watch five bucks, five fucking dollars. You get to watch Louis CK's new hour right in your fucking home. Jesus Christ. Dude, that's fucking, you know, you know, what that takes away? That takes away all, you know, much money that takes away from Comedy Central and all the other people, you know, much money they lose on that? Do you know much fucking money? They're not gonna make on this. And you know much money he's gonna make? The whole thing, the whole, the whole structure is collapsing, dude, because it's this is what's happened to the music industry in the late 90s and early odds with because of... Early what?

The odds, they're called. Okay, go ahead. Do you not know that? What's the odds? Two thousands. Just, honey, can you make me a fresh pot, a fresh thing of hot coffee with no cream? I'm going to throw it in odds face. make me a fresh pot, a fresh thing of hot coffee with no cream. I'm gonna throw it in Outspace.

You ever say that again? It's what's called, Bob. I don't make up the name. Yeah, you don't have to fucking use it, Joe. You can say the early thousand, two thousand. That sounds dumb when you say it like that. That's why they call it the Outs..S. Sounds ridiculous. Two shits. All right.

You're off your game today too. Because that would have been a fucker. You would have gave me a nice hot one for that. What do you mean I'm off my game? I feel like I'm doing all right today. No, you're doing great, but you're just nice for some reason. It's weird. I've been a good mood.

I had a nice night last night. I came in a good mood. I had a nice night last night. I came in The plus you just sat there and fucking wind about people attacking your grammar on Twitter I want a jump on you about the say in the 2000s. Yeah I'm gonna I'm trying to lighten up with that shit, you know what I mean? I mean I agree with you dude Don't feel like you got a light enough. So what were you saying? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you No, please go back to the odds. This is what happened when

This is what I have with naps in the music industry, dude and they got yeah they got brought the fuck down because I'm a fucking odds Thanks it does! It fucking stinks. Yeah, I know. To say in the early, like early 2000, 2001, late 90s. I wanna say it like the old days. I already remembered that in the 2010s, like they were talking about like the gold rush.

Remember back in the 1900s? Yeah. No, I got it. The, yeah. So I mean, I, uh, fuck was I gonna say. Oh, did this is what happened with the music industry, dude. The music industry. And look, I'm not singling out any certain network or whatever. This is just the way the business for the most part functions. And there are good networks or people in this business and there aren't but overall what's happening now is what happened with the music industry the music industry Was taking taking taking taking and then people said enough and it started with the fans started with the fans going fuck this Really 1899 for a CD fuck this we

know how much it cost to make this thing now we found out we found out this cost 80 cents to make fuck this and then all and then the artist started to follow because they were like right when I'm getting half a fucking point man I sold three million copies and I'm getting nothing. And then it goes from there. And now what's happening with TV and entertainment because people are going, fuck this man. Fuck this. I'm tired of this shit. I got to pay $50 for a season of a TV show. No, I'm going to steal it. So they start stealing it. Then the artist start going, yeah, wait a second. Why the fuck did I sell than the artist start going, yeah, wait a second. Why the fuck did I sell 100 grand in DVDs

and I'm getting six? What the fuck is going on here? You know what I mean? Like, and this shit starts to start to start to start. Look, I don't think you sell CDs anymore, it shows. Why the fuck are people gonna buy a CD? They're not gonna buy it. You need a T-shirt or a fucking magnet I can steal that I'll go get that on

iTunes I don't need to fucking buy that I just heard it I don't need to buy it like even though it's not the same hour You know they they don't buy your shit they really don't buy CD nobody has a CD player I Mean CDs are dead and and you know, me and fucking, I went out with a fucking five, Canon D5, and a Zoom recorder. Right. And made a TV show.

Right. I don't need to sell it to you. I don't need to pitch it to you. I don't need you. I don't need to go in and go. This is what I want to do. I want to, what do you think? We don't really, no, I'll go film it.

I'll go film it. I'll go film it. I'll put it on fucking YouTube. If that's the case, and I'll get a fucking million followers, millions, and I'll have people. And millions. But you'll know, okay, they don't like it. Fine.

Or they do like it. Fine. But I didn't have to fucking, I didn't have to go through the rigmarole of horseshit that you have to go. You can just go and do it, like our movie. Why do we have to go and, hey, you guys wanna give us money

just so we can, no fucking, we're just making ourselves. Yeah. It's like, even my hour, I wanna gonna fucking do it myself if it comes down to it I will go buy a fucking a camera a bum. I'll hire crew myself that have D5 this guy's out there that have like three or four Really D5 D's right or D5's? Can't five D's cameras, right? You could film a Special with those I'll go film it and I'll put it out there myself and I'll get it up on a web so I'll do something. There's options now.

Do it cool man. Do it cool. I'm gonna I'll tell you my ideas off of it but I have a great idea and I'm trying to you know it's it's gonna be a hard thing to do but I think it's I think it's what I do because I do, I don't know if my fucking, I don't know what the fuck's gonna be the thing. You know, I'm hoping, you know, I'm hoping what we're doing now is gonna, you know, be the thing. Because all we need to do is a little pop, you know, a little pop from one of these things that we're doing.

And then, you know, do what's selling on our shows. We get to hang out in the road and do gigs together and fucking just have fun and Make some money and meet the and get fans of our shit, which would be great You know, I love that this fan to this podcast. I love that this fans of this podcast who aren't fans of anything else that I do That's fun. You know that how great. I love that. There's this people that listen to this podcast show that Become fans of the comedy after. It's great. Like, oh, Joe's funny. You're stand-ups good, too.

It's like, I love that, dude. Yeah, it's great. Fucking love that. It's great. And that's what pisses me off for. It's like, dude, you're not funny on Twitter. It's like, dude, but I'm funny and so am other fucking mediums. I'm doing all this shit for you, motherfuckers, and I'm just trying to promote it here, because this

is where all you guys look, and I just want you to come over to start the spot, man. Yeah, and I, the other thing I don't like about Twitter, and you know what, some people I'm sure will call me a pussy for this or whatever, but it's like, people will follow you, right? Yeah. And, okay, so obviously, if they're following you, they see everything People will follow you right yeah, and Okay, so obviously if they're following you they see everything you post right and it's like dude that if What the fuck is that it's my It's my ringtone on my iPhone the new ringtone they have what is is it? It's called the forest. The forest? Yeah, showered forest.

Do I have that on mine? No, it's on the new iPhone. Sorry. Does the new iPhone have all kinds of new ringtones? Yeah, how many? It has actually custom vibrations. Like you can have that on mine. You get that with 5.5?

Oh, yeah, you probably have that. Yeah. You don't have the new, the, the, the, the voice thing now. Yeah, but you told me the other day, it you don't have the new the the the voice thing though Yeah, but you told me the other day. It's not that great. I like the shit Little amazing. You're just like you're the devil, you know that I don't just like the boy is right there She needs to know she needs to be aware of the manipulation This is the gel I wanted I'm gonna get new to'm having a fun time. Exactly.

I didn't wanna go to this place today. No, the people that follow me, it affects sometimes the shit I'm willing to tweet. Cause it's like, dude, this isn't, I don't want, you know, if I'm making a fucking, if I'm gonna go on Twitter and make a smelly pussy joke, I don't want it to necessarily go to Ann Coulter. And she's gonna see it and be like,

Christ, I don't want this on my phone. Yeah, and you know what I mean? And what's the thing too, is like, I'm on a CBS show and I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen with it, I don't have a big part on it, but I can't be tweeting out, fucking eat my fat cunt anymore. Because-

Ciccally. I mean, I look, we're comics, we have some type of fucking, you know, leeway and, you know, artistic license when it comes to that shit, but, you know, there's certain things, man, you know, like Dana White says, the Nick Diaz

You got to play the game just a little bit just a little bit you want to make the money? You want to get out of the projects play the game a little bit Dana White is the head of UFC. That's MMA Nick Diaz is a fighter. He's one of the top fighters. It's a sport You put it into like a movie like a back to the future something like that's right to understand what you're talking about Shit no, I can't I can't Okay, here is it's like when at Darth Vader right in the in the last one the prequel last one Where I think that was Empire Strikes Back no it was revenge in Revenge of the Sith Bob for commercial sake. No, the first ones. The first ones. Well, the last ones.

Prequels are the new trilogy. Okay, yeah. All right, dude. Well, Empire Strikes Back is the second movie where Hans Sol gets frozen in carbonite. I don't know why you wouldn't know that. Carbonite? Yeah, it's frozen in carbonite. God.

Yeah, she's still alive and in perfect hibernation. How do you that movies the shit? Do you not know them? You never seen I've seen them all man. I've seen them all I hate the the last three that came out. I guess was the first three. You just suck. You didn't like shit. No Sits was the shit. Fuck that. Fuck all. And you know what sucks is watching them on the TV. You're amazing new TV with that unbelievable blurray. You can see just how shitty the effects are. It's so good that it looks shitty. Yeah, you can turn that off though.

You can turn that frame rate off or whatever it's called, or the Hurt's rate, whatever. All right, I mean, it looks like they're literally in a fucking, I mean, you can just see this. It looks like a wash sitcom about stuff. Yeah, look at the fucking like, three's company. Like not a, like an 80's sitcom. Ben, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, right, well, we've, we've, I think we've come full circle, dude, you, you've actually, you're not gay anymore. Yeah, and I don't think being with her is gay. I still stand by

that. I'm not saying that as a, as a defense mechanism. I really don't, I mean, look, there's not, we need to stress this. There's nothing, we're not saying there's anything wrong being gay. No, we're just trying to get to the bottom of something. No, we're just trying to get to the bottom of Joe is gay because he wants to jerk a guy off. We're not seeing there's anything wrong being gay. No, being gay is great. We're just trying to get to the bottom of something. No, we're just trying to get to the bottom of Joe is gay because he wants to jerk a guy off. We're just trying to get to the bottom of the top. Yeah, it's just, if he's gonna give our gay. Well, here it is, you're back to normal.

I won't say normal, because it's not normal. You're back to what society wants you to be, Joe. I think your parents want, what all your friends from college want. My parents won't hear word one of this. Oh, they will when I send it to them. That video is going to mama. Jesus Christ did I am petrified.

Dude, my mom all the time will be like, my, you know, Sally at work said she saw a video of you on some radio show. Yeah, dude, my heart just starts fucking pounding. Did you make out with a guy named J. Lee? And then she'll go, it was Bob and Tom. And I'm like, oh, thank God. Dude, they were up. My whole family was up for, I don't fucking remember

what it was for, but my whole family came over. We're out in my mom's house, and my uncle Brian goes, uh, he goes, hey, Joey, uh, guy I work with, man, he's, uh, he, he knows he are. He's a fan of, uh, how you do some show? It's two guys. And I go, open Anthony, he goes, yeah, and I go, uncle Brian, never listen to anything you find from that show. That's what I'm talking about.

I'm listening to this show. Did you open up more on this show? And it's real. He's on that show. You're Listen to this show. Did you open up more on this show? And it's real. These on that show, you're kidding. On this show. Really? Pretty honest on that show, too. But he goes, but I've seen your act.

I go, it's so far beyond anything. I've just, please, I'll never just, there's got to be a line that we draw on the family. That's one of those things that you, you know, sometimes you repeat on the show. You've already dimensioned that. What's that? Like a few weeks ago, you took it. you repeat on the show, you've already mentioned that. What's that? Like a few weeks ago, you said the same exact story.

But we do that all the time. We do that all the time. We've done it a bunch of times. You know why? Because we only have five things that we talk about, Joe. Twitter, guys with decks, checks with decks and movies, and tech. I got a tech thing if you want to sign off with it. Well, here's the thing is I want to, I want to sign off, yeah, we're running.

This is a good one too. I want to do two things. I want to make sure that we wrap this up a little bit. You want to get married to a woman now. Yes. And we know that the 2000s were called. D.O.T.S. Fucking angers me.

I didn't make it up. Yeah, but you use it and you know you know that would I don't know what else to call it Of course and it would bug it's right set it Get it you okay, we know that Twitter Twitter is just you know just stop being cuts. Yeah, we're gonna misspell because we're we're gonna fuck up We're gonna promote shit, but look at what we're promoting. It's other funny shit. It's not like I'm promoting a fucking funeral. Right, right.

I'm promoting something else that's funny for you to watch, listen to. I'll go do. It's not like I'm promoting fucking top aware. Yeah, you can't. It's not like you're on there going. The problem with this whole abortion debate is, yeah, I'm not a, uh, shut up.

I'm not gonna, I mean, I'm not just bail, I get it, man. You don't have to follow me on Twitter. Follow me on Facebook or just come to the show, man. I don't, I get it, I get it. If you, if that's what you, if you wanna just open up your fucking phone and, and,, me, oh, Bob, but oh, Norton, oh, you're fucking slipped.

And oh, I get it. Oh, Bob, go. I, I, you're going to get a couple funny things out of me once in a while. Other than that, it's my other shit. And we got my new show coming out, which is going to be great. Joe's going to do a set on it. Yeah, definitely.

Congrats. So that's great. Thank you, brother. And, um, and now we're going to do a set on it. Yeah, definitely. Congrats. That's great. Thank you, brother. And now we're going to end with some tech shit. So go ahead, Joe. What do you got for tech? Well, it's tech related. It's not necessarily a technology thing, or it's not a device in other words, but I got Batman Arkham City for Xbox.

Is it? Sometimes we talk games. It is just by it. Just fucking buy it. It's in even me saying. If you want to actually feel like you're Batman, buy it. It's the best. It's the best like open world, beat them up. Ever. Ever ever it's red dead redemption It's open world. Yeah, it's so much better red dead was wonderful red dead was wonderful the environments incredible Yeah, this is better credible Well, you're in you're in Arkham City, which is they they they basically the plot of the game is that they fenced off You know my grandfather had you know my grandfather had kids by the time he was my age.

He had a garden in the house. Go ahead, Joe. What are you saying about a video game? You're an Arkham what? It's called Arkham City. Because Arkham, first game is called Arkham Asylum. That's the asylum where they keep all the crooks. Remember in Batman Begins, remember that hospital

that the scarecrow works? Yeah, that's Arkham Asylum. Okay. The sequel's called Arkham City because the criminal population is so out of control in Gotham, they just fence off a huge part of Gotham City and call it Arkham City and just throw the criminals in there and let them run fucking wild.

Oh shit. With guns and shit. And then you're stuck in there, and you've gotta, it goes from there. I don't wanna ruin anything, but you fight all the fucking, everybody's in it, all the best bad guys. Okay.

It's insane. And I've heard nothing but insane reviews on this. Dude, when you fucking hang upside down from a gargoyle and there's like six dudes below you with machine guns you can't just run in because they'll kill you yeah and one dude walks under you and you sweep down and fucking grab them and pull them up do you get to go like this I'm bad man you don't get to say that but dude start going what's going on what's going they start freaking out you sneak up behind dudes do the silent take downs, right or you just fucking jump in on

He's killed him kicking ass. He bat me doesn't kill anybody she you knock him out fucking That's all things you want to know I'm out. I'm out. I'm out I'm out trust me I'm out trust me. All right. I'll try. I know I'm gonna do bar. I'm gonna come over I'll come over and get it, but you know what I'm looking forward to Great modern modern warfare No, I'm gonna do the bar. I'm gonna come over and get it. But you know what I'm looking forward to? Modern warfare. Modern warfare. I'm done with them.

Listen, I think it looks great. It's gonna be great, but they do. I'm general Bob, remember that. I remember. I'm the leader of the gaze. They just put too many out. It was like a tar hero. I'm gonna get battlefield.

And I'm gonna get, I'm getting the modern warfare. And another one's coming out with the connect, ghost recon, which uses the connect where you can explode view a gun with your hands. Yeah, that looks awesome. I can't wait for that. When that happens, I don't give a fuck what that lady over there says on the couch with the fucking ponytail that TV is

Fucking sayonara We're getting a fucking 50 60 inch thin plasma. It's going on the wall and Bob Kelly's gonna fucking do some fucking Amman ninja. I'm a honn ninja. I'm a honn ninja. I'm moving around. I'm exploding my gun I'm Can't wait for that. Yeah, that's I'm moving around, I'm exploding my gun, I'm brrr, brrr, brrr, I can't wait for that. Yeah, that's gonna be a shit. All right, well, my tech thing is, this is a great little fucking device I got.

It's from Exo Gear. If you go to exogeared.com, I'll Google it. I'm gonna be promoting a couple things from Exo Gear. I'm waiting for one thing to come in the mail that they were supposed to ship me for free that I was gonna review. I'm not gonna review it yet. And just to let you know that I think that the new iPhone 4s update is coming out that's going to fix some of the battery issues It's already it's already out for developers and I think it's coming out soon for everybody else, but I got this

Exo gear phone holder and it's really cool if you travel and you know your phone is always you know like I you can actually I stick it to my computer screen it's a suction cup phone mount and it's a little clip right and I can stick it to the bottom my actual fucking screen put my phone in it and do you know especially with the 4S, you can multitask between your computer and you can just hit the button, email, Joe. What do you wanna say?

Blah, blah, blah, text, blah, blah, call, blah, blah, and your phone is right in front of you. Almost like another little monitor on your monitor. It also sticks to your bed as an alarm clock when you wake up. It's a cool little device. It goes in your car. It goes anywhere you go. You can suction cup this little thing and hold your phone up. Right. And I use it sometimes for the podcast to make some video tapes. It's unbelievable. Exo gear. It's the phone clip. It's on exogear.com. It's a cool company. They

have other stuff that I'm going to be promoting soon. If you want a little Tech stuff now remember email me at Robert Kelly at gloryholtradio.com for this podcast. We're going to be switching up the email To let uh, you know, I'm going to see if we can get a maybe you get a email address, you know, so you can get your own fans too So the people that hate me and like you better can actually get in touch with you All three of those people. No, ha ha. Anyways, but we're gonna get a, we're gonna get another email address in here too. So if you want to email me, email me at Robert Kelley at gloryholdradio.com, joda rosa at joda rosa comedy at joda rosa comedy. com right all his dates all his Everything everything that's going up make sure you go to iTunes and buy a CD Just download it It's it's it's gotten great reviews. It's a fucking funny CD

Joe's one of the funniest guys out there. Thanks man And you know, we got some fucking big shit coming out motherfuckers We got some big news happening in the next few months, motherfucker. So, so that's it, dude. Thanks for coming on, D-Boy. And I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad you're gonna have a girl. Thank you, thanks.

You want a wife again. Thanks for having me, bud. Alright, buddy, I'll talk you later. You know what, D-Boy. D-Boy. Okay, here's the deal. Go right now to iTunes and get my app. It's free. You asshole. It's free. Free. If you have an iPhone, you don't have my app on it and you listen to

this podcast, you're a fucking loser or you're just lazy. It has the podcast on there, updates every week. It has my tour dates. It has a bunch of shit and it's free. It's free. It's the best way to listen to the podcast if you have an iPhone right in your fucking hand It updates automatically and another thing mother fuckers Thank you for donating all the fucking cash you have we've got we've made this podcast a Million times better because of your donations if you want to donate it's ten dollars and twenty dollars We're gonna kind of switch that up to make it whatever you want.

It's on gloryholeradio.com slash Robert Kelly. Right at the top, donate button. We appreciate all the donations, cause it does help, it fucking helps. We pay for a bunch of shit, microphones and cords and wires and fucking mixing boards and all kinds of due dads that we need to make this show better so you guys get to fucking have some entertainment in your life

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