Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe D - One of the Girls- Questions

Episode Date: June 14, 2011

Joe D - One of the Girls- Questions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need?

You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? You know what you need? All right. We're back with another, you know what dude podcast me and Joe DeRosa, Joe D, is I like to call them, Joe D, Joe DeRosa comedy at on Twitter. Right? Right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. on Twitter right right yeah yeah and Joe you're playing engine you're playing engine tonight I'm not playing engine I heard myself that's what it means stupid it's a sports term oh you're playing in the game engine I think you meant I was pretending to be I forget that you don't know you don't know what's wrong what hurts I've been doing push-ups and I hurt my arm tonight because I was, when you call me and say can you come to him and it's earlier. So it's my fault?

Uh, yeah, I didn't want to say that, but... Wow, you really have a fucking knack for blaming me. No, I'm not blaming you. It's just when you said, can you be your 10 minutes earlier, I was like, shit, I gotta get ready. Right. And I rushed. I did my pushups too fast. I heard my fucking arm, man. You hurt your arm just doing the pushups. You didn't like fall or bang it or an

amvil fell on your elbow as you were doing it. I don't know. Maybe I slept wrong and then that in combination with the pushups. I slept on my iPad last night. That probably didn't help. Jesus Christ. That's the loaniest thing I've ever heard somebody say. I woke up it was under my fucking chest. I did a pill it if I I was like please don't be cracked if it was cracked I would have a fucking I would love to fuck with you but I go to bed with my iPad every night. Oh? Every night Netflix. Yeah. Fucking right pushed up on a pillow on the back of my wife's head And I fucking crash and you never wake up on it No, just and I love what I love about Netflix Or the movies you have on your video when it's over it goes off

And then the screen dies so it doesn't you know stay on all night Yeah, I won't do that on the computer because it's on an amp, you know when when you want on your computer, your computer stays on, your battery's dead when you wake up. The fucking iPad is, people who don't have an iPad and still are like, why would you need one? I don't need one. I have a Kindle. You're a fucking moron. You're a fucking idiot. Yeah. I just, an idiot. I mean, just for the simple fact at night, you can go to bed, and now, with the Netflix, the Time Warner app, the movies you can put on it, you basically have a portable thin plasma TV that you can prop up on a pillow like a best friend. It's so great.

It's so great, so much better than having a person there. No, no, no, no, it's not good for you. best friends. It's so great. It's so great. So much better than having a person there. No, no, no, no, no, it's not good. Having a person there. By the end of your marriage, I don't mean that disrespectfully. I mean, for me, it's like when that person... I like having the airpa, a little bit. Well, it's funny because I went to the store where you and bought you a baby plasma because you wanted to watch DVDs in your room. I still do that sometimes. Yeah.

So what? What? Did I stick it about getting? What? Are you going to make fun of me? You're going to save it. Save it for tech at the end. To tech.

It's not tech. What is it? I don't know what's going on. So I watched Sex in the City, City too the other day in demand. Just as I could go, I was like, let me see this movie and see what it's all about. I hated it. I was trashing it on Twitter while I was watching it. But then I couldn't stop thinking about it for like three days. So I went on HBO in demand. I watched all the episodes on there.

And I loved it. I'm gonna buy the whole Sex in the City series. I apologize. This is the last podcast with John Arosa. This the last time. I'm gonna buy the whole series. No, you're not. Yeah, I'm not gonna let you. No, I'm buying it. No, you're not. I ain't gonna buy it tonight. No, you're not. I'm not gonna let you. You know whose voice was in my head when I was like, I don't need to buy this. Oh yours. What is it saying? When I would be like, I don't know if I should buy that. You go, what if you walk out hit by a truck dude just do it if it makes you happy you're rich you got to be rich in your head Don't worry about spending the money dude. I wish the other voice was in your head

No, what are you a fucking pussy? You fucking pussy. What are you a girl? Don't buy sex in the city Go buy the wire. Have you seen the wire? You don't Netflix. Have you seen it? Nope You can't you can't go sex in the city. Go buy the wire. Have you seen the wire? You're on Netflix. Have you seen it? Nope. You can't go sex in the city before the wire. Do whatever you want. I won't let you. I watch a lot of guy movies, man and guy TV shows. I'm going to have one that's a little more girly. It's not about that. It's not about that. It's the fact that you haven't watched the wire.

And you're going to, you're going to go to the cop shows. It's not a cop show. It's not about that. It's the fact that you haven't watched the wire and you're gonna you're gonna You're gonna cop shows you're gonna. It's not a cop show. It's not a cop show The wire is not a cop show. It's like chips. It's like the new chips Chips you fuck it idiot You know, let's take the new Hill Street blues to you know let's take the new Hill Street blues. They can't take sex in the city in the chips. Fucking. Dude, you can't, you can't. I refuse to let you go get sex in the city.

We're going to go anywhere together. We're going to get an Amazon. Don't deliver right to my lonely door. You stink. Go rent the wire on iTunes. I have to say I finally see what everybody said about that show when it was on I want you to feel like I'm one of the girls. I feel like I'm part of the gang like they're by friends You know what you're making sense right now because I'm talking to a guy who heard himself

Doing pushups and not even like a thousand. How many did you do what 50 on what push up didn't hurt? Not even like a thousand. How many did you do? What? What push-up didn't hurt? It didn't hurt to laughter. It did 50, and then I got up and I was in the shower and I went to lift my arm and I was like, ow, fuck. Yeah.

Yeah, 50 is a lot, dude. I mean, it's not a ton, but it's definitely not a ton. It's not easy to do 50 push-ups here. I can do 50 straight and then do another 50 and then do another 50. Do it right now. I'll do 50 right now. 50? What if all were you give me if I do 50? Nothing. All right, then I'm not doing it.

It's it's even for all the ridicule. Just do it. All the years of ridicule about my body. Fuck now. One, two, three, four, five. Well, you're not doing it for real first of all. Nine and I have a fast stomach in you, Joe. All you're doing is lifting your head up and down. No, not look at my arms.

Look at my arms. They're going up and all the way down. It's sexy. Huh? It's sexy. Thank you. Don't talk about my arms. Bobby's right.

Bobby's right. Just said it's sexy. Do you really think this is sexy right now? Why? This is sexy. Thank you Bobby's wife Bobby's wife just said it's sexy. Do you really think this is sexy right now? Why? Well, I'm gonna push up so the kitchen floor. What was that? Don't shit. Hold on. I won't talk about sex in the city for a minute. I Don't talk about sex in the city for a minute. She's from the podcast. I want to talk about sex in the city for a minute. Do you know what I mean about when you watch the show? You feel like you're one of the girls? Yeah, because she's one of the girls. She has a vagina.

But Dawn's like a tough gal, you know. She's not like a girly girl, you know. You call my wife a fucking bulldog? No, you know what I mean? Like she can handle herself. She's got a mouth. You know what I mean? A mouth? You know what?

I think it's not a bad thing. Shut the fuck up. You don't ever say to another guy. You don't say the word mouth. You don't say to a guy, your wife's got a mouth. You don't talk about my wife's mouth. You didn't say it by the way. I did 50.

You're witted. 50. No, I don't mean, you know what I mean. I was moving on. Moving on. We should get talk. You know what I mean? Fine, you don't mean you know what I mean. It's moving on moving on which you can talk You know, you know, you know, you don't use the word mouth. All right. She's got she's got to weigh with words Is that better? That sounds worse? No, that sounds worse. Let's just move on. Let's go back to what the deal is is that you're doing

50 push-ups, right and you get hurt Yeah, dude, I look I never claimed to be in shape. I never said I was a master I started doing push-ups to get myself a better shape and I fucking hurt my arms I was doing them too fast. You see a master. I said I'm not a I never claim to be a master What's a master? I'm like the fucking of fitness. I got not a master. You know what I mean a master of it A master. Would you not know what that means? Well, I mean it's pretty much reserved for Kung Fu karate. Right. Right. It's not really bodybuilding. Right. No bodybuilder master.

All right. An expert I meant to say. Expert. That's better. Yeah. I stink at it. I will be the first to admit it. Right. Well, I look, I'm proud of you. The fact that you're actually doing put it in. But I hurt my it hurts, man. It hurts when you're actually doing. But I hurt my it hurts man. It hurts when you right to there. That's it. You hit there and it tightens and then I can't go any higher. You probably pull the muscle. You don't work out ever. You start no workout. Did you work out yesterday? Yeah. To do them the day before. It was a day before Sunday. Oh, yeah. What about Saturday? I did them Saturday. I missed a couple days when I was in Atlanta because we were working all day in the studio. Yeah, just your muscles doing 50 pushups. So what you got to do is you're going to have to get some tag a bomb, put it on your elbow,

and you have to work through it. Are we going to get tag your bomb from? It's not a fucking aching Chinese secret. You know what know that's gonna China sounds like it is Tiger bomb you get it is it Dwayne Reed, okay CVS She's like you shut up with your podcast shut up you I like it shut up. I like it. Yeah, it's I mean she got a mouth so too much I like it. Shut up. I like it. That's what I mean. You got a mouth. So too much. Say it again, John. I'm going to fuck it for a hot coffee on you. Let's, um, do that.

Let's go to the boat. Please, please, please for the love of God. I have the wire on Netflix. All right. Then we please go watch that. Just watch the first season. I think it's actually the city first. The fianon. I like those girls. You just

an asshole. They suck. You can't believe sex in the city. It goes against everything you preach about. I used to trash it on stage. Dude, it's really happened. Oh, these three girls have all the problems in the world. Four. Okay, all the have money. Everybody forgets about Miranda. Oh, I can't I'm gonna hit your elbow right now No, dude, I can't it bone cancer. It's just fun to watch cuz they go out and they they go to free parties They have drinks in New York and reminds me my life a little bit. No, it's not your life is nothing like that You're in shit bars, which shit people, but that's my version of it everybody's got it's what's

in here it's not about what's out there but you know your heart you should be called panicking in the city from the ugly half of you bang the night before Jesus take it easy will you not still a little respect how about this you call you say my my wife has a knife mouth no I said she's got a mouth on her that's not saying it big, dude. Well, then say it right. My point is it reminds me of my life a little bit. You go out with your pals and your drink and you talk about what I really relate to carry Brad show's up and downs with dating.

You know what, dude? You don't relate to anything in that show. I do. I know. I have them have money. I mean, they all have money. They don't have money. They do I mean all have money. They don't have money. They do they all have money They struggle. You see the apartment they have Yeah, that's a fuck it. Oh my god. That's just TV show. I'll fuck you fuck you apartment isn't that much bigger than mine on that show

Fuck you Shut the fuck That she goes I can't afford this I can't you know I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop.

I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop.

I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop. I'm not going against the grain. I like the show. I don't have to clear that with you. Then you need to do this.

You need to go apologize on stage. It's all the time you trashed it. I had one joke about it. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize.

I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to go apologize. I'm not going to apologize. I'm not going to apologize. I don't have to clear that with you then you need to do this You need to fucking go apologize on stage to all the times you trashed it I had one joke about it five years ago I wasn't give a shit. I just make fun of the movie. Why was it? Christ I don't even remember it it was like I would just make fun of how fabulous everything was But now you relate to it. Well, no because the movies are very different from the show

I Agree with all the fans of the show where they said they went wrong in the movie. I've seen how where they went wrong in the movies. The movies were the first things I saw. They went back and watch the show. I like the show quite a bit. Maybe sick to my stomach. What's the shame? No, it's not a shame. Because I feel sorry for you because if you liked it, you wouldn't be able to admit it to anybody. No, if I liked it, I've watched it. I've watched it. I've seen it. It's garbage.

It's fantasy. It's bullshit. It has nothing to do with reality. It's it's chicks with money and great apartments drinking fucking marinas and martinis buying thousand dollars shoes and bags and their problems of what? They can't meet somebody or Mr. Right. And the most people want to meet just anybody You're hugging a fucking iPad at night never mind. They she's all pissed off because Mr. Right is it mr. Right?

It's bullshit. It's fucking bullshit and not one of them is ugly. There's not an ugly There's never four chicks that are mediocrely hot. They're all kind of hot I'm not saying they're smoking hot, but they're all kind of hot. There's not even the one ugly fucking beast in the pack They didn't even do that. There's always an ugly beast always a beast. Don't fucking that's all absolute What the fuck did you do to you? Who are you? What is the wrong with you right there? You're gonna fucking MRI. Who's this Joe DeRosa? I'm talking to them. Though same half a feminine emotional Joe DeRosa that you've trashed for the last eight years. I've always been...

Oh, you put it that way. Yeah. Ha ha ha. When have I never not been a little womanly? It's been that way the whole time. You've made fun of me for it the whole time and Make believe you pretend that you're a sniper Online in black ops fuck you that's me believe first of all you pretend you're a sniper You pretend you're a cowboy and red dead revolver and you go online and pretend to be a red dead redemption Redemption I have it. Okay, and you go and I pretend to be a cowboy. Yeah, I am a cowboy.

Oh, good. When I'm on that game, I'm fucking a cowboy. And when I'm in, call the duty black ops, I am a sniper. When I watch Sex in the City, I'm one of the girls. You are one of the girls. Make me sick. I'm going to actually go back and watch it. This one I'm going to do, Joe.

I'm going to go back this week. I'm going to watch what the first season is that we like the guy characters to That's the thing. I'm trying to meet you halfway Joe and you keep going I'm gonna go back and watch it. What season do I watch? I just watched the ones in her HBO right now I'm gonna go back and watch the ones that are in HBO and I'm gonna I'm gonna give you my opinion next time we do the podcast. And if you're right, if I go, hey, this is a good show, I was wrong. I'll admit it. Great episode.

We're living in play is another writer that she's dating. And he's failing. And she's doing really well. And it's all about like that emotional competition, like how you're jealous of the person you did. I really relate to his character now. I'm like, man, I felt that way before. You know, I felt that way, you know. Yeah, that's a guy character on the show.

Very manly character, you know. And I don't know how you relate to it. Fucking ass. And we've got a questions. Well, before we get into the questions, we've got a bunch of questions. But before we get into those, we'll mean you a talk.

And a lot of times we talk about food. A lot of people have on the podcast other than you, I have other people don't really, they don't have the level of food that you have and I have. And I recently seen an Anthony Bourdain where he went to a steakhouse in New York called Keen's steakhouse and ordered the world famous hamhawk. I believe it was right? the scene steakhouse and ordered the world famous hamhawk. I believe it was, right?

Or the mutton chop. Mutton chop. It's a mutton chop. And I fell in love. I almost fell in love. It's almost like when you see a girl in a TV show, a new chick and you're like, oh wow. When I first saw JLo, I just had a crush on her.

When I first saw Megan Flock, Megan Fox, I was like, ooh, she's hot. You have these crushes. I have, I immediately had a crush on this fucking mutton chop. I've had that, bud. And you, and I bring it to you because, you know, I know you're a food guy, and you've already been there, and you've had the mutton chop.

Yeah. And it was brilliant. I had it on my birthday last year. What made you, what made you order the mutton chop my friend Joanne said I want to take out the dinner for your birthday Yeah, she said I want to take you to Keynes if you've been there I said no she goes we got to go and you got to get the mutton chop I was like okay So we went and I got the fucking mutton chop it was ridiculous

one of the best things ever ate my life and Joanne I know Joanne too. And we actually had a party at your house, everybody brought food. I have a beef with Joanne. What? Because Joanne and Anne and a few other people brought food to your party.

And it was delicious food, unbelievable food. And she brought Brussels sprouts. Yes. Yeah, grilled with olive oil and salt and pepper and spice. And they were good. Yeah, really good. I don't like a Brussels sprout. I'm not a fan of the Brussels sprout, but that Brussels sprout was good.

But my wife was there, and I'm not a huge fan of the fucking Brussels sprout. But now my wife was apparently shown love with the fucking Brussels sprouts, but now my wife was Apparently shown love with the fucking Brussels sprouts that and at that Joanne made And now at least Once a twice a month those fucking Brussels sprouts make it to my place. Yeah, they're great Yeah, yeah, no, they remind me of I'll tell you why I don't like Brussels Brooks Joe because when I was I don't know kindergarten first grade my my stepdad Billy Manchin 10, the mean one that used to fucking beat me up and kind of set me down the

path that I I'm still on now kind of he one night my mom made Brussels sprouts and he made me sit at that fucking table until 11 o'clock at night with those Brussels sprouts on the plate and I couldn't leave until I fucking ate the Brussels sprouts And I had to sit there and piece by piece little sleeve by sleeve off those fucking Brussels sprouts Get them down. It was one of the worst memories of my childhood So now once a twice a month. I have that fucking memory shoved back in my face because of that. And I actually told Anne what we should do is have a party at your house where everybody has to bring a dish that has a bad memory from your childhood.

Yeah, I mean to that. And then we actually have to explain why you have to present your dish and what the bad memory is whether it be you know stepfather used to beat you molestation you know a clown an aunt and uncle a babysitter so whatever it is we should have we should have a bad memory food dinner at your house all right okay I'm into that you do have a food well off the top of my head the I probably think of more specific one, but a good one would be My best friend that I grew up with Scott that I've known since birth and don't worry. You're my best friend too He's like my whole my grub with

I look I never you when you bring me up, I'm your friend, Bobby. When you bring other people up to me, it's my best friend, my really good friend. But when I bring you up, my, your friend, when I bring up to my friends from home, I say my best friend, New York, Bobby. What about your friends in New York? Yeah, I say, when I talk about my friends, I go, my best friend in New York is Bobby. I say that.

Okay, I just want to hear it. Yeah. I'm sensitive to Joe. I might that. Okay, I just want to hear it. Yeah. I'm sensitive to Joe. I might be able to do pushups without getting the hurt. And I don't want seconds in the city. I watch the wire like a man, but I have feelings. Yeah, well, that's why I explained all that.

All right. So, oh, so anyway, so we grew up and he was, I was mad at him. We, oh, okay, this is what it is. We used to go to a diner, a Limerick diner in our neighbor, where we grew up, and we still get to cheeseburgers. That was like, you know, we were in college. That's just what we did. And remember one day we were, he was a freshman college.

I was a senior in high school, and we were hanging out. And he was going through a tough time, and he also had this girlfriend that he was with all the time. It was like his first real girlfriend, so I never saw him. I was really hard-braining all this fucking resentment about it. You know, because it's like you grew up with a guy and you're with him every day for fucking 18 years or 17 years, and then he gets a girlfriend and then you don't see him as much. And I never quite hit it off with the girlfriend either.

She was really nice, but she was just stepping on my territory. So anyway, we went, we were going to the diner one night and he was going through a tough time with some shit and he was like, he was like, you know, venting to his girlfriend. She was in the front seat, which pissed off since you got my shot gun seat and uh he was going on and on about it and I was just sitting there fucking still and because I was so jealous that she was the one that he was like leaning on now and I go I just go I was such a dick I go oh dude why don't you stop fucking feeling sorry for yourself like that and he was like, really dude? Okay man, no, no, no, okay.

And I like hurt his feelings, but I was mad and I was trying to do that pride shit. And we got to the diner and I just sat in the lobby by myself the whole time, while they were inside of you and cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers.

I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheeseburgers. I'll bring cheese that story. Yeah, it was a miserable. It was like one of those first life lessons growing up where you're like, man, I was an asshole. And like, I can't admit it, because I'm not mature enough to admit it yet. I take back everything I said about Sex in the City.

Your life is like Sex in the City. You're so sweet. That's quick. Okay. Well, the mutton shop is, I mean, can you describe to me, because I haven't had it yet, and we're going to go, I'm going to take you, me and you are going to go to Keynes, I'm going to take you there, and we're going to have the mutton shop, because my wife doesn't want to go.

Oh, go, you don't have to take me, I don't pay for myself, thank you, that's what you used to do. That was the story yesterday, but, okay. Yeah, well, no, you know, you know, you know, well, I'm just, it's like a $60. I mean, so here's my problem. Just as a side note, real quick. And in fact, I just talked to the same friends got about this recently. He is a friend's cop. It was a therapist. Look, go ahead. He's a consultant in business, in the world of business. So he makes a good living. He makes a very good living.

And we're talking today about computers. It was when I bought my desktop. And I said, dude, it's going to make desktop. It's incredible. It's amazing. You got to get one. And he goes, I still got this stupid fucking PC desktop. And I go, dude, and you got that PC left.

What are you doing? You got the iPhone. And you know how great it is. I'm like, you know how great Mac is. I go't you just, I go, dude, you can afford it. Yeah. Just go buy the fucking computer. And he goes, I know, he goes, it's the weirdest thing. I have the money to buy it.

He goes, but I feel very, very guilty when I buy any material possession for myself. He goes, I can't explain it. I just forgot the, and I go, dude, that's funny because I certainly can't explain it, I just forget the end. I go, dude, that's funny because I certainly can't justify spending that kind of money all the time, but I will, because it's a possession, it'll make me feel better about my day to day life. What I have a hard time spending money on are things that aren't tangible, which is one

of the reasons I never go on vacations, because I feel like, well, then it's gone. I spent the money and it's a minute and it's not a place for a few days, but then it's gone. There's nothing I can keep or hold aside from hopefully a memory. So that's the emotional impact and memory of a good time with somebody and other people. The thing that actually really matters. Look, but I get those emotional connection you have. Yeah, and I, but I, it's not like I don't have those in life. I have great times all the time with, with the people I would go on vacation with.

So it's like, well, what? We're just gonna be down to beach, making memories. Look, I used to feel the same way. I used to feel the same way. But when you get a check or a wife or girlfriend, and you're gonna, you're gonna change. I used to feel the same way. We used to go on vacations. I used to feel the same way, but when you get a chick or wife or girlfriend, right, and you're gonna you're gonna change I used to feel the same way we used to go on vacations. I used to hate it I just didn't understand why we're here and she wanted to do all kinds of shit and go place

She turned into fucking Christopher Columbus We had to discover the islands and do all this bullshit and I was like I just don't get it right I don't get it, but then all of a sudden I It made sense to me. Like we went on vacation and we started doing this, you know, just these moments that you'd have, you know, in the middle of Aruba on a beautiful night, in the ocean and the sun, it's all fucking weird

sex in the city shit. You were too, but then you start realizing, oh, this is cool, this is what you do at your check. Right. You know, these are the times, these are the things you do at your girl. I mean, yeah, do you go, we can pal and go to Aruba and sit in the water and hold each other and the, you know, at five when the waves are low and the sun setting. Right.

No, you don't do that, you guess. No, you know. But, you know, you'll change your tune on the vacation stuff and when you get more money too, I mean when you when you'll have more of a disposable income when you have money that you know you don't have to worry about your rent and you don't have to and you're actually safe to do that you'll be like oh this is great sure sure so that's basically that philosophy is where I was coming from with the money-chopting because oh yesterday I'm sitting there going

Well, fuck man. That's dumb. I'm not gonna go spend $60 on a meal or $70 whatever it ends up being on a meal. I was like, but I'll buy the section of the city box it because I don't have that You won't go have a mutton shop in your pal. I'll go. I just said I'll go me and you you know that's different if you go with somebody I mean you would enjoy a mutton shop like like some like my wife enjoying a new fucking Fendi bag or you know whatever you know say it with that's something tangible. I'm gonna do it. I'll go with you. I want to do it with you. And it's you asked me to describe it though. I do I want you to describe it first of all the waiter will describe it to you which is awesome Yeah, he'll fucking he went like thinking what like this what I got it because we got to the place and dram was like You should get the mutton chop. I think she goes look at your birthday though

Get whatever you want I just think you might enjoy the mutton chop right and the waiter came over and I said I go dude How's the mutton chop and he just I think he just went like oh you could hear but he I think the way he described and he was right was I think he said it was sort of tasted like a cross between you know a veal or a pry or excuse me a veal or a filet yeah, and Like a lamb shake like it's right in the middle of that. It's got a it's got a half stake half lamb

Flavor to it and it's it's just the softest crunchy on the outside a little crunchy I don't remember it being crunchy on the outside you saw the thing recently so I don't remember actually I don't but I don't remember being crunchy. I remember being just the softest fucking meat fell off the bone Yeah, they're you know, yeah, and it's got a big bone in it Yeah, and then it's got these I Don't know what they're called, but it's got these like two tails coming off of it They look like ears or something Yeah They look like ears or something? Yeah

And they're like They're just like they're just like dude. They're it's like crackling Except of mutton It's just it's just a strip of like that and you can cut it and just roll it around the blood Let's go. Well, this goes into Steve something, shh, good question. He just sent me a question. Are you a food addict?

Well, I question. Yes, without a question. Apps of fucking Louis. Did you really fuck a sink? Yes, I did. A sink? Yeah, and rehab. When I was in rehab for a year.

After I got out of JuveJeef the last time, I went to rehab for a year, After I got out of Juvegio for the last time, I went to rehab for a year and end over mass. All boys and meetings all day, meetings at night and there was no drugs, no women, no fraternizing for a year. Didn't see my parents for a year. And there was this long sink counter with a bowl sink in the middle. There used to, you know, loop my hand up

and climb up on it and lie over the sink and put my hand on the edge of the sink and so it would brace my fist. And then I'd put my dick in my fist and fuck it like a pussy. So you fucked your hand. Fuck my hand, but it was going into the sink like the hole of the sink. Yeah, I fucked my hand,

but it made it like I was fucking. You're disgusting. No, I'm not disgusting. It's really disgusting. Did you? No, no. I never fucked this sink. It's weird, Bobby.

It's fucking weird. I was in rehab. It's insane. I had to hold on with whatever I had. You don't need me some slack. You don't need me to masturbate till I was 16 years old. You first time?

You are sex in the city. No, I just never, I didn't understand it. I was like, what? I was like, I don't get it. It's just you what I never got it So I never did it and then the first time I did it. Remember I was watching I would watch porn and not masturbate They were I was just watching to go like this is awesome. Really? Yeah, that finally one day. I was like watching it And I had a boner and I was like I Don't know I guess I'll try it and then I was like, I don't know, I guess, I don't know, try it. And then I was like, I was like a fucking monkey after that, man.

I think I jerked off the first time in fucking first grade or some shit. Did you jizz? Not in jizz. Me and my friend used to have fucking jerk off together. And he could jizz, I think it was second grade or something like that. He could jizz, I couldn't, I used to be like that, or he could jizz, I could nice to pretend I jizz and spit in my hand so it'd foam up and I'd be like, I came too. You knew what came was? Well, I knew that it came out, yeah.

I was watching porn in first grade. I was looking at porn mags in second grade. You know, I was, I was subjected, I told you, I was fucking molested by that fat chick in a, in a robot bush when I was in first grade. I was subjected to sex at a young age. I was fucking molested by that fat chicken and a rhubarb bush when I was in first grade. I was subjected to sex at a young age. I was sucking on titties. What was her name? The blouse. Why'd you call her the blouse?

That's just a nickname. She was just a fat. What did that mean though? The blouse, like a shirt? The blouse. Like a shirt? No, like the blouse. It's just a word they made up of fat mess.

Okay. Blouse. Um. Yeah, blouse or something like that. But I want to achieve up to these days. You know, being a blouse. I'm probably still blowing. You're still more western people. No, she's I mean, she she she was 12 something.

All right, that's not more or 14 or. I was in first grade. 12 is 12 to for come on. That's not my last name. You don't take a first grade or the bush? Look you don't do it. I'm not saying you don't do it. You shouldn't do it. You definitely shouldn't do it. But I'm saying like you know 12 they you know you gotta to me at my left station is like the person doing it is in their

right mind and it's wrong. I don't know that a 12 year old even realizes that's wrong at that point. I mean... maybe. I mean, I felt like shit. You know, I cried my fucking self to slip. You know, I thought God was gonna punish me. I thought, you know, I was raised Catholic and I couldn't tell anybody. So I just took the hit. And then that's where my, you know,

that's where I learned sex. That's how you do your gravitating and you're fucking a week later, I had her up in an attic sucking on a titsicle, a friend of mine. I felt terrible. Athletic guilt is the worst, dude. I still have it. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras desperan. ¡Y paraas! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que César prenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. murcia y a otros destinos que excesorbran delán a partir de 19 euros. Bolotea. Parifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I was I was it was kind of beaten out of me young, you know, I fucking blew it off young But Catholic guilt it's always still there. It's always you know in the back of your head that you know You're gonna be punished later. This is bad and you shouldn't do this and it you know, it's a motherfucker Me and my cousin still laugh about it, dude. I got my cousin Johnny beat so bad once his dad fucking lit him up with the strap because they all went out. He had they

it was when Batman the Michael Keaton came out on video and they had it and they all went out. Everybody went out. All appearance and all his brothers just went out somewhere and left me and Johnny alone in the house. And Johnny was like, dude, I know where my dad's porno movie is. And he went up and he got it. And I'm like, let's watch it. Let's watch it. So we put it on and we took it out and then we put Batman back into the things so nobody

would know. And we did. We were so careful. We cut it back up to where it was everything. We took all the steps. It's funny that you knew your father was a creep at that age. Fucking he knew where he fucking asked for his to go. What disgusting part made him come? All right, take it.

He's way out. Go these dead. Can you please? Jesus Christ. What part was it, right? I don't remember. It was just, you know, we just were smart and up to go. It was on that scene. So put it back to that scene in case he knows. And, uh,

we put the Batman tape back in. It got like stuck halfway into VCR. And it wouldn't come out. We were like, Oh, should we're panicking? And we pulled on it and the fucking tape ripped in half for Batman. We were like, oh my god, oh my god, and we were freaking out. And his dad came home. We were like, we put the bad man to it broke. And he's like, why'd you take it out of the thing? We just lied.

We were like, we were gonna watch something else. And then we were sorry, and he was mad, but he was like, yeah, you know, shit happens. What are you gonna do? But then I was, we were riding back from Philly to my parents' house. I'm in the backseat And my parents are in front and the guilt was killing me, dude I couldn't live with it. I felt so guilty that I watched a porn on movie and you ratted him out and I go me and Johnny

I got to tell you and we as soon as we got home my mom called my uncle and I can hear my cousin getting beat through the phone Yeah, I didn't know I was like 10 dude. I didn't know any better. I was like it was new really are a fucking girl I didn't know you know fucking tell your parents you watch the porn on movie I felt guilty I got fucking molested I kept my mouth shut Yeah, I couldn't deal with it, dude. I was was too afraid I was gonna go to hell. Christ dude I got my fucking dangling played with an ambush I kept my pie shut. I was too afraid I was gonna go to hell if I didn't tell the truth. Oh yeah I know now how fucking retarded it is but it's like you can't blame me. It's that fucking Catholic shit that got put in my head and it's like if that

fucks a kid out dude you got living in fear. I already Priest told us once I was in a nice cock. I was in a what grade was I in seventh or eighth. I think I was I think I was in eighth grade and a priest told me or not told me but told the class. He came and spoke to the And he told us that holding hands could be a sin Depending on the intentions behind it like dude, do you know how fucking Like and once I was in eighth grade. I was 12 13. I was old enough to start to be going This is bullshit. Come on man. Yeah, that's all I mean They tell you that shit from birth, dude, and it's like if fucks a kid's head up Yeah, well look that's why the Catholic Church is such shit, and why it's in such fucking

horrific state right now. It's not just because the priests of blowing kids is all the bullshit, all the fucking horseshit that they tried to instill in us, and now we're just fucking kids smarter, adults are smarter, and it's just bullshit. It's all fucking horseshit. So fucking religion. You know, I'm spiritual. I believe in spirituality. I mean, you know, without that, I wouldn't be sober. I wouldn't fucking be out of drugs and alcohol. I wouldn't. I'd be a fucking mess right now. I have

spirituality and I believe in good versus fucking evil. But all that fucking bullshit, all the bullshit religion just stinks. And it's so funny is that this this brings us a lot of people are asking us about weener For some reason, you know, I mean this is the same shit is that you you have this standard that you put everybody on Especially in the public eye especially politicians and you forget that they're fucking they take shits They put their pants on they fucking bang they j, they work jerk off the porn, this fucking dummy, this fucking, he's, he's not an asshole or a weirdo and needs to go to therapy, he's not, he's not addicted to sex, he just fucked up, he took a picture as a guy you can't especially a lot of pictures. Well, here's the thing is you can't like we say you can't be a you have to be a taker you can't be a giver. If you're doing some creepy shit you can't as as somebody in the line light somebody is that that is out there in the public

eye you can't be a giver you have to take that's it and if you're gonna take a picture of your cock and send it to somebody don't sing your cock just send a picture of a cock how the fuck are they gonna know and send it send a bigger one send a nicer one he's still a bit in trouble I mean it's it's you know yeah but he could deny it he could have been like it's not yeah I sent a picture of some dudes cock I totally agree with that philosophy I've been I have a joke about how I'm a pervert, but I'm not a freak Because freaks will suggest shit. I'm like I won't suggest a fucking thing because I'm not getting myself in trouble

But the second you say let's do this to my asshole. I'm like, okay, I'll do it You know what I mean like I'm me fucking a sink is bad, but you let's do this to my asshole Okay, I wasn't putting the sink in my asshole No, not my asshole her asshole, but you like shit in your asshole. Okay, I wasn't putting the sink in my asshole. No, not my asshole, her asshole. But you like shit in your asshole. I'll take a finger in there. Oh, there you go.

That's as good far as I go. So you're a freak like me. Let's just all of it. No, freak's so suggestion. That's what I'm saying. I fucked a sink and you gave me shit. It's give or take, but I'm trying to agree with your fucking philosophy, please.

All right, go ahead. It's, I agree. You can't be a, you got to say, look, here's the deal. I'm over here. You come to me and this is what happens or nothing This fucking dummy Goes out there like he's a freshman in college and starts fucking tweeting pictures of his nuts And then all those other pictures he took of him in the gym hole in his rod and everything It's like dude. You're just a fucking idiot man

Well, you believe me. I look when you get this this technology I mean, it's new technology to a lot of people. A lot of people don't know about the photos and videos and be able to send them instantly to somebody else. And it's fascinating. I mean, look, when I first got a video camera, one of the first things I did was record my deck and look at my deck.

I never got the song. I, you don't see a deck. I remember I recorded me jerking off in the bed and I raised it. You don't see your dick. I don't you don't see what you dick look. You don't see what you really look like until you see it on video. You know what I mean? Like you know like if I don't I know what my dick looks like from this angle. I search me. Okay. You don't know what you really look like. I recorded myself jerking off. Shits and giggles.

I deleted it. Then me, Dane, and Al, that group I was in, Al and the monkeys, we recorded one of our sets, and we were going through it. And there was one snippet, like a three-second clip of me lying on the bed jerking off. So we're all watching this video of us set we did. Well, again, that's good right there. Then there's three seconds. It just me go, and then it goes right back to the set, something happened with the camera. What the fuck was that? That's so funny. I mean, you can't fuck around with this technology, especially if you're a

government official, if you're famous, you can't, that's it. You can't take a picture of your pussy. You can't take a picture of your cop. You can't take a picture of your dumb face and send it to people. You're out of that game. You nullify yourself from that. You can't play those games. You're not a regular fucking Joe, where it doesn't matter. Oh, there's a tape somewhere out there that I made with my friends

Ever since I was a kid I was obsessed with seeing what my ass hole looked like when the shit came out I just wanted to know what it looked like. I just stopped you right here back to you fucking with me about banging a sink and rehab That wasn't sexual. I just wanted to see it when it looked. I was just curious. It doesn't matter. You called me a free Okay, all right fine just wanted to see it when it looked I was just curious. It doesn't matter you call me a three. Okay. All right fine. So I would look down when I was a kid I would look out. I try to look at the crease between the seats that little space and see if I can see it.

You can't do dark. So what'd you do? We took a, I was old when we did this too. I was already doing comedy but still in Philly. So this wasn't that long ago. And I, I was, we were all hanging out one day and I go, let's see, we're going to take that video camera his basement wasn't finished but he's not so this basement wasn't finished so I go look your basement just shit all who cares you got a table a glass top coffee

table down there we're gonna take up the pounds we're gonna wrap them in saran wrap and then we're gonna set the camera up under the panel facing up and then I'll squat over it I'm gonna shit onto the glass because I want to see what my asshole looks like when shit comes out of it Yeah, we did it. Yeah, so you basically made a German porn off it was so hard to shit dude that is pressure man I don't know if you know what that's like but no, I don't talk about stage fright I don't even if I did my wife is sitting right there I wouldn't admit the fact that you're actually telling the story is fucking beyond me and the only thing that I can hope for the only thing I can

pray for is that you become very successful you get all your hopes and dreams and your friend releases this tape and it's just you taking a shit with your power on a camera lens I think they all went upstairs they wouldn't stay with me while I do it because they probably they're probably fucking sane people that's why there's one thing with a cap of dope actually does good for upstairs they wouldn't stay with me while I do it. Because they probably, they're probably fucking sane people. That's why there's one thing with a cap that actually does good for you. Those guys at Goofs are a blast. We used to do this other game.

We called it, I made it up, it was called concoction. And we would, we'd get wasted. Same basement. We'd get wasted in my friends basement. We'd go, I got, all right guys, go upstairs and go in the refrigerator and make a drink out of everything you can fucking think of in that refrigerator.

Make the most disgusting drink possible but I can't see you make it. Then you come down here and you're gonna blindfold me. I can't even look at it. I'll try to drink it without throwing out. Dude, it was the fucking literally every time we did it, I'll try to drink it without throwing up. Yeah, dude, it was the fucking net. Literally, every time we did it, I would go,

let dude, as soon as I hit my lips, I would start projecting out of vomiting. Oh, it was a blast. The left from balls on it. He was married, his wife would come down. Fucking assholes. A whole drink. A clock in the morning grow up.

She had a point. Nah, she did. I would still do that. I would still do that. I would still do it. I would do it too. Although you could just give me fucking milk, and I'd probably peel it with my fucking bleak stomach.

We got another question here. From Anthony, Anthony fucking good, whatever's name is. My dream is to entertain people. I wanted to say I was a kid, and he suggests things blah, blah, look, you be to entertain people. I wanted to say I was a kid and he suggests things blah blah blah look. I wanted to entertain people. I don't mean to be harsh. I don't mean to sound fuck. Just do it. Go fucking do it.

There's no rhyme or reason. There's no fucking tricks. There's no accolades. There's no fucking, you know, pep talk speech you can get. You just go and do it. Find out what the fuck you want to do and just go do it. Writing same shit. You got to sit down and treachery through the awful fucking pain of writing.

It stinks. It's awful. It's hard. But what you do after, when you do create something is you get to, you get to actually feel good about it, but as far as the business goes Comedy Get on stage. That's it. There's no advice. Nobody can tell you to do this So try to do this or do that because nobody really knows who the fuck you are

You want to get into the business go to an acting class? Get on stage at an open mic and just do it and then go with it and then you'll this business Will filter out the people that aren't supposed to be you don't have to worry about making it or not making it the business Filters people out it just does that there'll be a point where you're gonna either quit because it stinks and get a job Or you're gonna keep going through the fucking bullshit and get through it and and start to make money off of it and things will start to happen But other than that, I mean that's my philosophy. There's no advice you can give somebody It's just this business is like any other job you have to start it and just do it and work your way up and Fuck and keep going and it's gonna suck just like any other fucking job and

That's it. That's all you can do and it will filter yourself out if you're not meant to do it you won't fucking do it. Yeah I think you got to keep in mind that you know at it I really believe that at every level in this business you are capable anywhere from capable to great in a certain sense and anywhere from capable to stinking in a certain sense. Certain sense. So you're gonna reach points in this business

where you may be great at doing a five minute guest spot on a show or capable at hosting a show or stinking at being the feature actor, the headliner. You know what I mean? So with everything you do, you just got to keep a grasp on where you're at and what you're capable, what you're truly capable of. Don't sell yourself bigger than you are. And stay my eve, man, I really think that's important. You know, I saw Carol Bernette say once that the reason she

think she made it was that because she goes, I had no idea what the odds were. She's like, if I did, I maybe wouldn't have made it. That always stuck with me. I try not to think too much about what's this, and what's possible, or whatever. I just try to go, OK, well, these are the boundaries I need to work with in for this project,

and this is what these people expect. And I'll do my best at it, and why not? Let's go for it. You never satisfied, either. If you're satisfied is when you're fucking, you're not going to get to the next thing. The reason why people, I mean, especially comedians, the reason why you get to the next level, because you're not satisfied with what you're acting is, you want to be better. You're not satisfied with where you're in the business.

You want to get, do a TV show, or, you know, get a, you let them in in the business. You want to get do a TV show or you know Get a letterman or whatever the fuck you want to do You it's just you never by the time you get what you want You should have been there two or three years ago. So it's like finally. Let's go. What's the next thing? You're already on to the next thing which is bad. It sucks in a way You know, but it's also good. It's what motivates you. So just do it. Yeah. Fucking do it. Yeah, Patrice said to me once he goes,

this business never gives you anything at the right time. You either get it too soon or too late, but either way, you never enjoy it. But that's the really key thing to know about show business or remember about is like, once you do it, like you said, it's a job. It's a business like any other. It becomes a job.

And anybody that gets promoted at their job or you're the lawyer that makes partner It's a job. It's a business like any other. It becomes a job and Anybody that gets promoted at their job or you're the lawyer that makes partner or you get the you finally get the Residency as the doctor whatever the fuck it is. It's like it's like that's exciting and you're happy and you go this is great I'm moving forward, but most of the emotion really is I have to not fuck this up. I have to do a good job I have to bring my A game you're thinking thinking about work. And if you want to continue to love entertainment, you might be better off not being hit. It certainly takes the fan part of it to a certain extent. The other deal is that, you know, when you do a TV show, if San Luis filmed the TV show tomorrow, you know, it's not going to come out until next year. So it's a whole fucking year where you're walking around and then you know You're already passed in good dog. It's like you know

It's like my wife when she was pregnant for the first time she told me she was pregnant that she had a miscarriage And it was like what the fuck I'm kidding I'm kidding right right, you know, it's like you know, you know you're never going to relive that first moment again. Well, it's like if you even... My wife was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Relax. I'm a fucking comedian, chill. I'm not doing a one-man show.

I'm not fucking Robert Downey Jr. Is Robert Downey Jr. doing one-man shows? John Luguzama would have been a better choice. Yeah, yeah, would have been. Ah, anyways, this goes into another question too, is that a lot of conversations they see on TV pilots, and Billy Burr and Adam Corolla getting pilot deals, and all this great shit about TV.

I mean, I've had a pilot. I've shot a pilot. I've been on a couple a bunch of TV shows You know again, it's like you know I got a pilot when I first went to LA two months around you know 12 years ago Ten years ago went to LA booked a pilot out of the gate our drama. I was a cop on the cover Thought it was gonna go on the set in San Diego for a month Living in a hotel making I mean 900 dollars a week cash just my per-dem and I lived off of that never mind the fucking ten grand they were giving me per episode and If the show went and I mean I was walking different I would go to the mall the pilot didn't even air

I was walking to the mall my hat down like people might recognize me who were filming the pilot and For the Interesting stories I went up for the one of the main guys the guy like me so I wanted to do the audition I fucked the audition. I flubbed it fucked up. So when I'm walking out of the room I Went back in I go listen, I went to the producer, I go, can I do that again? I messed up. And look, I just need to do it for me. You know, when the casting lady was like, no, you did good, it's great. Thank you. We

get a lot of people. And you know what? Yeah, you can. Do it again. Go ahead. Most people don't want to get it right. Most people, you know, they fuck up and they fuck it up. You want to get it right? Go ahead. You get one more shot to get it right went back in and nailed it got it right thank you very much walked out that was it I didn't think I got it 15 minutes later in the car home they're going back and forth they went from 2000 to 5,000 to 10,000 and I'm like they're asking me is that cool we're gonna go from do we're gonna go for 10,000 and I was like yeah what so then a week later waiting they call me up you didn't get it, but they like me so much

They gave me another pocket in the show, but he gets killed in the first episode So I'm like fuck it. It was like four grand one weeks work. I went down Filming it in the middle of filming the producers and the director and the writer like me so much They call my agent they go we're gonna we're not gonna kill you we're just gonna hurt you we want you in this show we want you around at what point in this series of events were you thinking this is the story I'm gonna be telling this on inside the actress studio telling them I should be podcasted you I dude I'll tell you

you see I know dude that's like this has to happen. Dude, and the crew was like, this is going. This is the best pilot they've made. This is definitely gonna go. And it was all hype around it. And then we filmed it. We say goodbye. I'm waiting for the phone call. It gets picked up. This is what reminds you. They had 18 wheels of justice on fucking USA network, which was, you know, night rider except a truck. This was definitely gonna go. Right.

And Lee list to stay a year later, I'm still in LA, and it never went. And I was like, you know what, I'm out. I was fucking depressing. I gained weight. I became a fucking cook. That's when Patrice was at my house, stay in over, and he had my barbecue chicken, and he looked at me. He goes, Bobby, you need to move back to New York City.

I was like, why? He goes, because this is the best fuckin' barbecue chicken I had ever eaten in my fuckin' whole life. He goes, you're not a comic anymore, you're a cook. Literally two months later, me and Donald fuckin' in a car driving back to New York to just to get back in to become a better comic, too. I was gettin' no stage time, but yeah, it was, I thought I made it. I thought that was it. It was a wrap. I was going to be famous. I had hair. I was good looking. Have you ever shot a pilot?

Yeah, yeah. I shot one for Comedy Central. It was called the Watch List. that my friend, my friend's Dino Badala and Aaron Cater and Mazda Brunni. All very funny guys. They put this pilot together, this TV show together, where it was all Arab comedians, that it was an all Arab comedy sketch show. It was fucking funny man. It was really funny. And dude, they gave me my own segment Really they were like dude. You're not just gonna be in one of the sketches We're giving you this segment called Joe's journey. That was about how I was basically my real life

I'm adopted and I don't know anything about being Arab and it was about me trying to find out how to become how to be Arab It was funny man. We did the set of the travel that we did this yeah, I know right we did this a daily show that work. We did this. Yeah, I know. Right. We did this daily show, style piece like field kind of piece. Why interviewed this guy from NYU. And I was like, just like I didn't get any of it and piss it about. It was great. It was so funny. Uh, Dan Powell from Comedy Central was one of the producers. Uh, he was like, dude, this piece is so fucking good. Man, Jesus Christ. I do this with the daily Show of Tonuses fucking great And I was psyched it was dude. It wasn't that long after 9.11

I'm like, this is gonna go like there's an audience for this This has got to go at least at least at the very least on the novelty of it for a year. This will go right and And then we'll show them how funny really is and then we'll keep going and nothing And, um, and then we'll show them how funny it really is and then we'll keep going and nothing. Just didn't go anywhere. Yeah, it's a fucking shit business. You want to be in this business? Fuck, and there you go. There's the stories.

Um, check this out. I knew there's a way. Here's the first part of that. I go to the Arab comedy show still. Yeah. Like all the people that came for the taping, you know, when they show the pilot to the audience to get the laugh track and everything, I go to those things and I'm still barely

more famous in that community than I was then. We're going to fly through these last questions and we're going to get to tech and we're going to get the fuck out of here. Brian up in Boston, I grew up in Boston, you know that, some of my favorite places, the, it's basic, Boston. I fucking love the Angelo's. I like Mike's roast beef in Everett. What's the steak tip place?

That's the shit. The new bridge? The new bridge cafe in Everett for steak tips. Papa Gino's pizza, I fucking love, I don't give a shit shit what you say about it. Um, it's in Chelsea, the new bridge actually. Uh, yeah, those are some of my favorite places. Uh, somebody asked about ONA, their management changed something because Patrice and I, and a lot of us aren't on all the time like we used to be. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they did.

They don't want us on. Not OP and Anthony. Not OP and Anthony. The management. There's a one comics on. They don't want to song all the time. Yep, there you go. I'll fucking say it. They don't want to song all the time. The management where?

At the serious. They don't want comics on all the fucking time. There you go. So that's, you know, it's not Anthony, OP and Anthony or any of the guys. I hope. But, you know, it's not down. It's, you know, the management. Whatever. It's fine. You know, I love being of the guys. I hope. But you know, it's not down. It's, uh, you know,

the management, whatever. It's fine. You know, I love being on the show. I love, I'll go in every day. I live two blocks away. Absolutely. Any time they call me in, I'd fucking go. But, uh, you know, it is what it is. Things change and there you go. So yeah, there you go. I'll say it. Uh, and now we'll go right to tech real quick and the tech this week is going to be some of that we both have, which is iOS 5 on the iPhone, which I hooked you up with via a good egg, the Taco Bob at the Taco Bob on Twitter. Good guy fucking hooked us up with the iOS 5 for the iPhone. Yeah, thank you officially, Bob. Thank you. Officially, I fucking love it. Yeah, it's sick.

Oh, it's fucking great. It's sick. You can actually make, you can make custom vibrations for individual numbers. So you know when your wife's calling you, it can just go, numbers. So you know when your wife's calling you, it can just go, be really aggravating buzz. Oh, and your friends calling you, you can make custom vibration. You can, the camera finally has a button. You can use the volume button to take a picture. So you don't have to curl your finger around. You can edit photos. Take out red eye right in the fucking camera. You can't ever from the home screen.

Camera from the home screen. That's just great. Oh, eye right in the fucking camera. The camera from the home screen. Camera from the home screen? That's just great. Oh, double click on the home screen. Oh, it's great. They added that reminder thing too. Now it's got this built in reminder app where you have reminders that'll go on. Instead of having to set your calendar

to remind you to do something, it's actually just a reminder app where you set the reminder, it goes off at a certain time and you can set it to go off in a certain location. When you get to the location, it'll tell you, do this, which is fucking insane. Yeah, wireless, what they call wireless. Sinking.

You've also got, you also, you have the option to, on the front screen, you have all your notifications. Yeah, the drag down man. Drag down menu notifications that are up there and also you can swipe those you can swipe those you go right into the application. Yeah and the notifications are up the top which are great they don't take over the whole fucking screen. And one of the and one of the smallest new things they did but it made a world difference to me you can finally set different tones for your

email text reminders like you saw I'll be like you set one tone every time you got to if you're volume is on everything you got a text or an email and go do do it or it would make the same noise for all of them right now you can set a different noise for every single different reminder right I didn't mean I didn't mean that or notification rather rather that you had, which is fucking awesome. That's new tones. So the same 10 that they've had. Yeah, they had a bunch of new ones. We say what I had in some ring tones though. Yeah, I think they did. No, I don't think they did because the notification tones are in a separate category. It says new, you know, and it doesn't say in the ring tones. I don't know. But anyway, it's just

amazing. I mean, it's just amazing. I mean, look at this. I got my lock screen on. These are all the notifications. Now on your lock screen, your notifications come up, instead of being that ugly blue bubble. Right. It's a scroll screen that tells you every notification and in the text and emails, it tells you the message on your home screen.

Yeah. I, I always find is the shit for iPhones. And I know Android- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-

I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-

I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I-

I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I get nerds flip out about new apps and new development because it's like, you know, the Patriots scoring a touchdown in the fourth quarter. I get it. I understand. I'm a nerd. I'm a nerd.

I'm a dweeb. Look at all the shit I have. I have, I love nerds. I apologize for stepping on one guy. I said, you know, that's, you know, when they come out with new stuff for developers, we get to make money. I get it. I'm a five-way-own-app. I'm a fucking dweeb. Yeah, that's, you know, when they come out with new stuff for developers, we get to make money. I get it. I'm a five-way-on-app.

I'm a fucking dweeb. Yeah, it's great. So, yeah, iOS 5 is the shit. I can't wait for it to come out legitimately. We're going to actually have it through the whole thing, all the beta, and we'll have it before everybody, which I love too. So thanks again. I want to thanks all the fans for actually sending it in. Mike, Franco, Steven, Joe, Anthony, Eric, J, Andrew,

Brian, Curtis, Chris, Derek, all you cocksuckers for as soon as a bunch of other people we didn't get to your questions. We will next time. Thanks for listening to the podcast. We'll be doing another one next week. We got big news coming up for the podcast in a couple weeks. So stay tuned and that's about it. Joe DeRosa at Joe DeRosa Comedy on Twitter and his website. JoeDeRosaComedy.com. Thanks for having me. And make sure you go to iTunes and subscribe. Subscribe, cock suckers.

Hit the subscribe button. And in that's how the podcast becomes more popular. And that's it. I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for listening You know we're dating We're just outside, outside We know we're dating We really do, really, really, really You know we're dating Ven y vive la emoción de la Navidad con Ifema Madrid.

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