Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe DeRosa | Fat Edge
Episode Date: September 10, 2023This week Bobby is joined by Joe DeRosa, they talk about how great college gigs used to be, how Joe became good friends with Sal, and they talk argue about what the best kind of bagel is. This episod...e is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. This episode is sponsored by Ship Station Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/ykwd. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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¡Porque me ha hecho pegos, pero sólo me ha hecho sinterme en el plan.
Y sal, como se ha hecho, he's like, what the fuck?
Who doesn't buy everything, bagel?
And I go, why the fuck would I have done that?
And he goes, it's the best bagel.
And I go, no, it's not cinnamon raisin is.
And we started fucking screaming at each other.
It's ag, but go ahead.
It's ag or cheese, but go ahead.
Egg.
Egg.
Egg. I've never even seen someone order that one. It's the
one that's always empty. No, it's not. The one that's always full. Egg or cheese.
You get a bagel and put an egg on it. Nah, dude. Egg bagel. Egg, the yellow egg bagel
or the cheese bagel. Let'm excited to tell you something.
If you said it before and I said again, you lost weight and you used to be beautiful.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about anymore with food.
Egg, you've...
Bagel is the best.
You have said shit to me in the last year about foods since you lost weight where I'm
just like he's lost his edge.
This is like when Miles Davis stopped doing heroin and the music sucked.
You've lost your fucking edge. What are you talking about?
I lost Hank Baker.
I lost my fat edge. Yes!
Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now.
We're back, you know what dude?
Live. Welcome everybody to the show.
YKW.
I started social media podcast.
The fact that Y KWD podcasts?
Why KWD is back again?
Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all.
I'm KWD, why KWD?
This podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules.
Shut up, you're ruining this.
Break the block, dammit, I'm sorry.
It's about any podcasts.
This is an NPR. That's the podcast done.
Is there any better show?
This is the original.
It's original.
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It's original.
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It's original.
It's original.
It's original.
It's original. It's original. It's original. It's original. It's original. I'm above the comedy seller world famous at the comedy seller podcast studios, YKWD studios.
I'm excited. I'm back from the woods. I'm back in the city. I'm wearing my roly.
Whoo, baby. I want to out of the gate. I want to say thank you to my man right here.
Right here, baby. Look at that. Where are we? Where are we?
Right there. Look at that. How cool is that? The JT maker.
Sam the Hawk toys, baby. I thought JT custom toys. No. JT is not saying that.
Well, JT is my man and he makes custom. The Hawk is the man. JT made the actual
figure. Okay. Well, Sam made mine. It's not about you right now.
All right. It's about Sam the Hawk. Look at that. Very nice.
It's all look at that. Isn't that. Very nice. It's all look at that.
Isn't that cool?
Yeah, it's very, very nice.
Nice.
Oh, look at that.
That really does look like you except for the body.
But the, uh,
You're a piece of shit.
This is the new Bob.
I know.
It looks really good.
I know.
You know what?
You being nice is worse.
I'm being serious.
You're not.
I'm being very serious.
You're not.
It's very good.
You immediately went for the one thing that I,
when I looked at it, I was like, wow, I'm really shredded sure it's very good immediately went for the one thing that when I looked at I was like wow
I'm really shredded you went there
And I'm wearing my true classic jeans and my true classic hoodie and my true classic t-shirt. Uh-huh. Thank you true classic
It's very good. This is all true classic zoom in on that. You can't zoom. What am I asked these guys to zoom for?
It's very good nice works now. I mean it's great
these guys deserve for. Very excited about that.
It's very good.
Nice work Sam.
I mean, it's great.
Sam the Hawk, you're the best.
Thank you.
All right, we're back.
I'm so excited to be back.
And I'm so excited as my first guest,
one of my oldest friends in the business,
we've done a lot together.
We started this podcast together and then he bailed and left me and put all his eggs
and Billy Bird basket and fucking.
And then he bailed and let all those eggs fall out.
I really did just fall right out as he was skipping through the woods.
I mean, he really like, why is this bag so heavy?
Oh Joe's in it sunk you cut it and you went flipping your fell out. Oh
That's funny
Yeah, you gotta go do it. It's too heavy to heavy
I don't need you negative shit trying to pick Nick
Look at you squintin fucking I
How you doing buddy? I'm okay okay man. I'm uh oh no
Oh no I listen I don't honestly I know what's happening Joe. Hmm. I've oh
I
Know you Joe you do I do I know you I
you Joe. You do. I know you. I fucking know you. I what's up, Joe?
What's up, dude? What's up, man? KWJ, the new podcast. What's I wait, you know what? I fucked it up. God
damn it. What? I was I you said, what's up, Joe? Yeah, and I went, what's up,
dude? Because you always say what's up, dude? And then I forgot, I, you said, what's up, Joe? Yeah. And I went, what's up, dude? Cause you always say what's up, dude?
And then I forgot the podcast, the letters stood for you.
No, what, dude?
Yes.
So I said, why KWJ, thinking it meant what's up, Joe?
And then remembered what the letters stood for.
It's a long way around the bend.
Wow.
And you say, Jay, not Joe.
Jay for the letter.
Like the initial, oh, yeah.
There's no Jay.
No, no, I know.
I'm.
What's up, dude?
What's going on with you, dude?
What's happening?
I did, honestly, I was in the Uber on my way over
and I start to feel a little like, ugh, but I think it's just,
I've been really drinking of water today.
A little what?
A little like wonky, like a little like, ah, by a little.
It's hot out.
A lot of sorts.
It's 90 degrees out.
I'm saying, I think I'm'm I didn't drink enough water today.
I just feel like 90 degrees out is fucking crazy outside. I never drink enough water. I can tell part of
my problem. I can tell. What do you want to know? What's going on? I know there's something up with
you, dude. It's something up with you. Yeah, I'm extraordinarily stressed out and I'm just,
you know, I'm trying not to think about it. I'm extraordinarily stressed out and I'm just, you know,
I'm trying not to think about it.
I'm only why why are you fucking you stressed out?
Well, you got a fucking hit podcast.
You got a sub restaurant.
You dreams, you're living these villas like you've always dreamed of your little fucking
alt comics and you moved here.
You've always wanted to one day I want to live on a ABC street.
So do you.
I fucking your fake old motley. I hate the east village. I wanna live on a ABC street. So do you. I fucking...
You're fake old motley creature.
I hate the East Village.
I don't live in the East Village.
Wherever the fuck you live, out of bed city.
What's with you, would you?
I'm a, I'm a Hell's Kitchen boy.
I was too.
You were, but you dreamed of fucking ABC, Ville.
I did not.
I stood by Hell's Kitchen till the day I left.
I only left cause my mom got sick.
Thanks for bringing it up.
She okay?
Yeah, now she is.
Oh, there you go.
But no, that's the only reason I moved out of Hell's Kitchen
was because my mom got cancer at the time,
and I moved home.
Oh, my God, a fuck.
To help her out.
Yeah, now.
You shouldn't.
I'm not gonna, man.
It was a nice thing that I did.
But I'd like to.
I have a couple of zingers that I'd like to have.
Down your way, but I'm not gonna.
Do I ever tell you about the time?
This is a true 100% true story
Please let's if he dies if when when Keith Robinson dies
Yeah, wait a minute. Let's take a I
Say before next year. I'm gonna tell this story. I will tell this out as funeral if it kills me
Okay, but I just can't I tell you I told you I said to me I go when you die you're gonna give away canes
Like the trees give away hats.
And I bet he laughed like you were fucking.
That's a good idea, Plale.
I scratched my face, my face is a little bleeding.
Yeah, it's okay.
They didn't.
Anyway, well, I just give him padding.
Anyway, I, you know, you didn't just...
I was driving.
You're not fresh from a rape are you a?
I scratched my face that guy was stronger than I thought
Like it anyway, uh, can't get in trouble for gay rape
Those jokes fly
Gay rape I found a gay rape
Shhh, gay rape. I found a gay rape.
Pshhh.
Shhh.
So, Keith calls me one day.
Every word of the story is true.
Everything I say and everything.
First of all, you know Keith's calling you, it's bad.
He calls me, right?
And he had been calling me, but my aunt had died.
Oh boy.
And he called me a couple of times when I was at my family, you know, it's with my family in Jersey. I'm like helping do the prep for the funeral of that shit. Oh boy. And he called me a couple of times when I was at my family, you know, it was with my family in Jersey.
I'm like, to help and do the prep for the funeral
all that shit.
Oh man.
I'm in, I'm not kidding.
I'm in the fucking funeral procession,
driving from the church to the cemetery.
You got the headlights on?
No, during the day.
I don't remember, but yeah, but it's that thing.
I mean, it's the parade thing.
You can just say, yeah, nobody's gonna check.
I was trying to make the story better trying to add this is a great story
I got slow it down. I won't not the bonfire
Live do act doubts every three minutes because we're two hours every day. I don't either
That was the old bonfire
Anyway
All right
So We're in the we're in the literal the procession.
Yeah.
Keep my phone rings.
It's him.
I'm like, this motherfucker.
He just keeps calling me.
Yeah.
He must need something.
Yeah.
So I pick up the phone and I go, hello, and he goes, fuck you.
Motherfucker.
When I call you, you call me the fuck back.
God damn it, I call you three times yesterday.
You call me the fuck back, you cock sucker.
And I go, oh yeah, Keith, you know what?
I didn't call you back because my fucking aunt died
and I'm literally driving to the cemetery
to bury her right now.
How do you just go?
And you're always bug me. He's the God.
He's the God.
Watch, he won't answer.
He's probably napping.
He might be downstairs.
He's not downstairs.
He might be doing his hour. He's not doing his hour. He only does, he doesn't energy once He's probably napping. It might be downstairs. He's not downstairs. It might be doing his hour
He's not doing his hour. You know he does he has an energy once a week to do that
Well, it's Tuesday. Usually doesn't like on Tuesday or third or Monday
You know bugs me. What's there? It is Tuesday, right? There's no friends. Nobody likes him. He see when I call he should answer
He's got you you are right. He has nobody. He's got nobody me you Dante. Yeah and Marina for some reason.
Marina doesn't like him. Marina doesn't like anybody Rachel puts up with Keith. Where Marina puts up with Keith.
Rachel puts up with Keith. She still needs a background. Amy was out the door and then he had a stroke and she was like,
Oh, fuck. I know. Little cat was like, little cat when he had the struggles like this in my chance
My chance to get out I wake up at five in the morning with healthy people
Oh my god, he really is a piece of shit. Yeah, he's but he's but he's the kid fucking king man
He's the funniest of the motherfuckers. He's the king damn it and his new hour. How is it?
I haven't seen you dude Dude, it makes me sick.
That it's that good?
That he didn't have two strokes to be funny.
Yeah.
I mean, he's at the top of his game right now, not physically, but comedy wise.
You know, it takes him 40 minutes to get up to stairs.
But I mean, look, man, Keith was always a great comic, but, but this is, I want to make
sure I say this in the right way because I say this with great respect.
I really do.
And I'm not going to get a black comics.
There's funny.
His white comics.
Uh, yeah.
I don't trust them.
I love these.
They're with a Philly accent.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
No, I say Yeah, dude.
No, I say this honestly with great reverence.
I'm not trying to get mushy or anything,
but like he,
like I learned, when I played music,
I learned like limitations sometimes make you better.
Right?
So you would hear a record.
You'd hear the first record by the band
and somebody would go,
if you heard this record, holy shit, it's crazy.
Nobody's this new band, they're underground, whatever.
And they'd be like, they recorded this on a,
they recorded this whole thing on a four track
in their garage.
You're like, what?
Right.
This is so fucking creative.
This is incredible.
They did also on a four track.
And then two albums later,
they're signed to the major label and they have all the accessibility
to everything.
And the album sucks.
It's too polished.
It's too that.
You're saying with all his appendages working, not as funny.
Well, I'm saying.
I'm saying.
I'm saying.
I'm saying.
Now he's a two track.
I'm saying.
You're when you're a great talented, funny guy.
And then the world all of a sudden goes,
you can't do anything except put it out right like that.
You can't jump around.
There are no shortcuts.
It has to work like this,
and you're gonna fight through a speech impediment
from the stroke.
Sure.
It's like those limitations probably are bringing
like the highest caliber material out of it.
I think so. I mean, when I broke my knee and tore gas in there,
and I had to come back, I had to work months with no energy,
no physicality. I had to sit, or stand, and deliver.
And it really cut all the fat out of my jokes.
Be...
You know it was funny.
You started laughing before I did.
I'm not laughing.
I started laughing.
I'm not laughing.
This is why.
This is why.
This is why inherently you're just a bad person.
By the way, there were two things before that I didn't laugh at.
Like what?
That you compared hurting your knee to a man that has had two life threatening strokes.
Right.
I put an ACL up against a stroke.
I almost died twice.
I mean, that you pair Tory with Jay Davis
to this man having a fucking stroke.
You're right.
I really did. I'm a piece of shit.
No, no, but I hear you.
It takes, it took a really exposed
the shit that I was muscling in
with a fucking movement or whatever.
Well, look at those.
Excuse me.
The only person that, and I'll say this,
and I'm not, look, say what you want.
The only person that had movement
that would enhance the joke, Dane.
Dane.
Dane.
Dane literally was like,
like a ballet dancer or something.
Well, his physicality was,
was part of his voice.
Yeah, it was wild.
Yeah.
And how many people copied it?
Oh, yeah.
Look, ass out, ass out stance.
Yeah.
On the monitor stance.
Right.
Yeah, it's like the, the, oh, the finger point.
But the, but it was a, yeah.
You know, it was never just this. It was. He I went
up to the elevator. Yeah, it was up there. He you know what day, no, it didn't remind me
of. Yeah. Um, I read David Lee Roth's autobiography. And seriously, David Lee Roth, I think I had any fucking wit.
That's great.
God.
No, if David Lee Ross said in his autobiography,
he talked about how he actually took
like gymnastics lessons or something.
Hang on a sec.
Oh, and just, can you find me something heavy
to smash somebody in the head with?
Go ahead.
Why?
Because you're red, David Lee Ross.
It's a great biography.
No, no, it's a great autobiography.
It's an awe.
It is a rock stars life all the way through without any of the sad shit.
Yeah.
Oh, it doesn't put the sad shit in it.
No, dude.
He's like, he's like, anyway, I had sex with two strippers last night on
a pile of their earnings. Mama, rock and roll is great.
I feel like that's every story. He used to hang out at the seller because he did for a while
because he lived above Dove David off. Did you know that? Okay. So his, his name's Roth.
Never put that together. Jewish. Yeah. His uncle owned the comedy seller.
Man.
Mani Roth, not our mani, the other mani Roth.
I never knew the, I never knew you're a mani.
Could you pass when I moved here?
And I never go.
So the other Roth was his uncle.
So he was coming down here back in the day.
His family was all about the street.
So he's coming through the, I'm out front talking to this guy.
I'm like, oh my fucking God.
I am talking to David.
He was hanging out every night at the seller.
I'm on stage killing it.
Davidly Roth walks through the crowd
and he goes into the bathroom.
As he's come out, I go,
Dave, Davidly Roth everybody
and he goes, eh, that coax mile.
Yeah.
I go, what's the most girls you've ever slept with?
One, five. Before I got slept with, one, five.
Before I got one night, he went five,
and he walked out of the crowd.
And he didn't get a date.
Oh, dude.
So, so,
David Leroth was already an exceptional vocalist,
and then he was like, no, I took like gymnastic,
I forget, I think it was gymnastics,
but he's like, I learned,
he goes, go do that shit, learn how to do splits and all this shit and I was like oh and I was like that's what Dane did
I don't know if he took gymnastics, but I'm like Dane took hey, I'm already great comic. I'm gonna now
Practice this physical element that's gonna add this whole other fucking layer to it. Well, Dane was a theater kid
I'm not his his first bits were pieces.
They weren't, we were all doing comic, comedy, stand up.
We were all talking about Dane did pieces.
Like the, I was raped by a snowman, the terminator,
where he had to do this whole thing.
It was a bit.
And here's the thing.
But it just be like a monologue as the term?
Well, I would be like, you know, I just like the terminate.
I just did the, what I forget the bits.
But it would be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like,
I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd be like, I'd? Yeah, he made sure they work. So his first things were all physical.
And we did the improv stuff together.
We did the Alan the Monkeys,
where we did improv together.
And we made it, the thing about him is,
and I was the same way, competitive.
Like we did this whole thing at the end,
this improv bit called course of gripes,
where you get things that piss you off in the audience
and everybody would get a thing
and you'd have to be that person.
Course of gripes?
Of course of gripes.
Oh, of course.
And the one person would lift you up like,
oh, you go.
So I give you, you know, whatever.
It was an improv game where, you know,
parking in New York City and I,
he'd bring you up the conductor.
One guy would be the, I would be the conductor.
Bring you up, you know, parking in New York City,
blah, blah, blah, blah, and then he'd shut you off. Then he'd Bring you up, you know, parking in New York City, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,. Whoever the funniest would, he'd leave you up and you just go, and lose it and he'd throw water in
your face. He'd be like, oh, shit, that was the end of the show. Thank you. I'm telling
you man, that kid wanted that water in his face every night. At one point, I remember
doing this thing. He, he was like down to his tidy whiteies, crawling up the wall behind me to be the funniest.
Yeah.
Anything?
He was very competitive.
Yeah.
Some guys, you know, we all feed off of it to a certain extent, but some guys really feed
off of it.
You know, like, like, you know, Pete Holmes is one of my very, very, very close friends.
And like, and he's been since we started out together, basically in New York.
Yeah.
We, I mean, we started where we started.
And then when we got to New York, we were young here together.
But, um, Pete's like that.
Like Pete, like the energy takes him to like a different level.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, we all feed off energy, but like, I see him like,
he, he, like a robotic almost, you know, like, like the robot gets plugged in all of a sudden, you know.
Right.
I'm always so scared of bombing because of the caliber of comic I came up with.
Yeah.
I'm still petrified.
Yeah.
When I do that, I'm doing comics come home again.
Nice.
Um, and you know, Dennis has a nerve wrecking gig, dude.
Dude.
Whew.
I get nervous when you tell me you're doing it.
I get nervous thinking about when I did it.
And it went great, but God damn it was fucking scary dude.
It's one of the most nerve wrecking gigs I do in my life
in all year.
And I always, they have me closed a lot of the
time. Sometimes they don't think of it. But a lot of times you have me go at the end and
you're in front of 17,000 people. And they just saw Jimmy Billy Pete, Malaney, Gumball,
whoever the fuck I mean, it's like, it's like, and then they'll don't forget Lenny, Dennis,
who's the band Jimmy Fallon. Oh Jesus Christ. I think you met Norton. I was like, he's not from Boston. Oh, they don't really have I mean they have
Anybody do it, but it's like it but that that energy that fucking that thing where it's like I'm not fucking I am bombing I ain't fucking bombing
Makes me you know brings my thing to that level of where
I don't give a fuck. Fuck, fuck this. I'm gonna go out and do my thing. That's one of those gigs
where you rewrite your set until the minute you go on stage. Piece of paper, pacing back and forth.
Yeah. As you're, and you're, you're literally in the wing going, no, fuck it, fuck it. No,
I'm gonna start with this instead. Yeah. Yeah, like, yeah, that's one of those,
that's cool.
Terrifying.
It's terrifying.
You have a band behind you, you know what I mean?
And you have, if you hear quiet behind you,
it's like, oh shit, it's like,
I have to hear the drummer and this backup singer's laughing
at my shit, fuck all them.
But if they're not laughing, I start to panic.
You know what, you know what, city room is like that, fuck all them. But if they're not laughing, I start to panic. You know what? You know what? City room is like that a little bit. And it's a great room.
But the village underground is a little bit like that. As far as just a city showcase room goes
because everybody is fucking crushing. And there's a band on stage. And you're just like, please,
I have to fucking kill. And you're up there and the whole time you're thinking is the band laughing?
You're looking, oh, they are.
Okay, good.
You know what I mean?
Nothing worse than being on that stage and seeing the keyboard guy with his head down.
Yeah.
Take it a hot one.
Yeah, yeah.
You're like, yeah, what's next?
Yeah, it's so fun.
That room, I'll tell you, the comedy seller itself, I don't know what it is, but it's
for me, it's just flawless. It's like a perfect room. You go up, you kill, I don't know what it is, but it's for me, it's just flawless.
It's like a perfect room.
You go up, you kill.
I don't know what it is.
It's just, I'm gonna say easy, but.
It's not easy.
It's a very challenging room.
The regular room, I mean.
The regular, the original.
The very hard room.
The way it's shaped and everything, that's not an easy.
You don't waltz on stage and just kill in there.
You learn that room.
I do. No, no, no. I'm not saying. I'm just sayingaltz on stage and just killing there. You learn that room. I do.
No, no, no. I'm not saying, I'm just saying, you have to learn to do now, but I'm saying
at first, you have to learn that.
I don't know. I just love that room. The laughter, it's low ceiling. You hear it. The pussy
cat I love, but that village underground, man, the other room, the bar, I don't like it.
I love my favorite of three is the underground.
I love the original room.
My second favorite of the three, honestly, is the lounge.
Pussycat.
I like that room just as my kind of style of room.
Sure.
I just like stuff like that.
I like like a little stage.
A little stage, you know.
It's mine too. There's something about it.
And it's weird when you go in there. Like, I do my hour show there. And I was always paranoid
of not getting people, but you get the world that likes you comes to see you there. Like, I have
fans from Germany, Israel, all over the world are coming to the pussycat on that Tuesday night.
And I'm like, oh, you just came to the show.
Oh no, we came to see you in some weird accent.
I'm like, this is fucking great.
There are four, in my opinion,
there are four beast rooms in the city,
where when you kill, it's like holy Christ almighty.
What are they?
So, and I put these in no particular order,
but VU for me, for some people it's the seller
original room, but let's put those as a tie.
Okay.
Because that's a matter of preference.
Downstairs at the stand.
Okay.
Gotham when it's when it's full, when Gotham is full, because it's high ceilings, but
when that fucking room is full, and you do a long set, I mean, that is,
you just, it is like you feel it in your bones.
That's a bone.
And then New York comedy club Grammarcy,
because it's just this fucking box, and you're in it.
And when you smash in there, you fucking smash.
There, I'm not saying you can't have this.
Is that the original New York comedy club?
Yeah, the original one. Yeah, that's the original and grammar.
He's good. I mean, sorry. Um, he's filled just good too. But that that grammar. She down there. Stand grammar. See New York comedy club.
VU comedy seller and then Gotham. Those are four rooms. I'm not saying you can't have good sets and other rooms or good shows in a row. But I'm saying as far as clubs going this city, those are the four where I'm like
holy shit, dude. When you like, when you, you, you, don't, let's put this way. Those are
rooms when you walk off stage, you know, if you did your job or not, you know it. Yeah.
There are rooms like that where you go, I just did my fucking job right now. Isn't it
weird when you think about it, though, Joe, that we've been here to see the
end of great rooms?
Yeah.
When we first moved to the city, the strip was the fucking place.
I mean, the strip was where the industry went.
I remember that.
That's where everybody was.
That's what, you know, never liked the room.
Never liked it.
Never liked it.
Never liked it.
Well, the atmosphere that they created sucked. And the guy with three fingers telling you you're fucking stink.
Yeah, that's suck. Yeah. Count Dracula telling you they've never worked a club. I auditioned
there and he said, look at you. You clearly don't take pride in your appearance. That's what
he said to me. Yeah, I changed my opinion about that guy. He actually was a pretty intelligent guy.
He's so mean. But Jesus girl, I mean, if he said that to me now, and I was a one year
comic, I'd be famous from a YouTube blog off of that. He's a piece of shit. It's like
you took, you just took it back then. You're like, okay. I mean, dude, he is evil. Him
in Starla. Remember Starla? Starla was always really nice to me. She hated me.
She liked me, but I couldn't get me past solution.
She came up to me.
I killed.
Went up and killed on my audition.
She went, you did good.
She changed kill.
No, it wasn't kill, it was great.
You did great.
You did good. Literally changed great. You did good. It literally
changed it from great to good. So that club. I mean, but listen, Joe, you can't do one thing,
say what you people say about SD of the seller. If you killed it, you got in. Look, dude, there are certain clubs that, that's their mo, man, they treat comics like,
I'm talking about the strip thing.
Right.
And I, I don't know if they're still like this.
I don't think they are anymore, but at that time, right now you can have a fucking tick
talk video that's killing.
They'll put you on.
But, but, but, um, but there are certain clubs where comics are like employees and
they're like, you're not getting a compliment or a smile until we know that we can count
or whatever.
And they just take that mentality and that approach of like do not show too much appreciation
because that will potentially lead to a negative. I don't know about that.
Or whatever, and that was their approach.
Maybe the strip, yeah, the strip.
No, I'm saying the strip.
I'm not saying the seller.
I'm saying the strip.
Well, the seller did the opposite.
I feel like the seller made us like,
Mani was like, I want the comics
this to be their home.
Do you understand I'm agreeing with you?
No, I do.
Somehow you disagreed with me.
I'm agreeing with you.
I'm saying that the seller did the opposite of that place
Yeah, that look that hang was awful. I felt like again, and I'll name the same four clubs. I just named
Those are the four clubs that went on Caroline's
When Caroline's was like Caroline's gone is the only reason I'm not included
But if Carol I'm talking about what I'm talking about, we lived through a generation
of when we came here, the strip was the shit, the seller was nothing.
The Boston Comedy Club was a hot club.
Caroline's Gotham was the Champaign Club, the original Gotham.
That was a great room.
That room was fire.
The original Gotham was fire, but again.
That was arguably the best laid out room
I've ever seen in comedy in my life.
It was awesome, but the mazzillas I love them,
but again, I went there and killed.
I walked out his activity, you great job,
killed, sent me a tape.
And I'm walking away and the girls
are gonna send him a tape.
I go, I just did it
in front of them. What is better than what I just, what tape am I gonna send him that
he just saw? You know what I mean?
Caroline's, Caroline's, I gotta, I would give my props to, you know, to the people that
really change things, whatever, I'm over-explaining.
Caroline's and Gotham, uh, those clubs changed my life. I can say that without, you know,
I don't like to use that phrase loosely because people use it at nauseam and it doesn't
mean anything. Yeah. They changed my life. Louis Ferranda was the first club, booker, producer, entertainment director to pass me and pay me.
And I remember, dude, I told this story when they were,
when when, when, when,
when Salah Ques was there shooting the documentary
the last week.
I went in to do a set for a tell for his last run.
And I got there really early. And you know, I got there
really early to meet Jay. Jay more.
Oh, okay, so he's a fucking great. And he was literally 45 minutes late. Oh,
Chris. Oh, yeah, it was 45 minutes late. Jay was late. Yeah. So exactly. So I was sitting
there and Salah Qs goes, do we got some downtime? Do you want to talk to me for this documentary?
Oh, yeah.
And he goes, so what does Caroline's meant to you?
Like, how did this place play a part in your life?
And I started telling the story when I got passed.
And I was like, dude, I was so fucking broke.
I didn't know what I was going to do.
I was living with Jay Okerson and Queens.
I remember that.
Yeah, and I go, I was home at my mom and dad
still lived in Pennsylvania.
And I still had a drum kit in my old bedroom there.
And I was home because I would go home to do my laundry and stuff
because that was that broke that I didn't want to spend money on laundry.
I remember you live with Jay and his kid when he had a baby with Carla.
And Carla, yeah.
And I was, I wouldn't go home just to do laundry.
I would save the laundry until I went home, I mean.
And I go, but I would always play my drums
as a way to get the stress out
because I was so panicked
about how daunting this challenge was.
And I put my first cell phone I ever had down behind me.
And I was playing for like 30 minutes or something.
And then I turned and I looked and I saw I had a
Miss call and it was a 2-1-2 number I didn't know the number and I had sent a tape to Caroline's the week before
Thinking why even bother I don't have a shot in hell and it was a there was a voicemail from Lewis Ferranda and he goes
I just saw your tape welcome to the club wow and dude I told that story of Salah cues
I
Got up to the part where I said and dude, I told that story to Salcius,
I got up to the part where I said, and then there was this voicemail.
And dude, I started like shaking,
and I dude, I couldn't stop crying.
Yeah.
I was literally crying, and I was like, holy shit,
because it was like, it just,
this rush of what it meant to me.
Did you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And then the other time that, and I'm not
discounting anything that SDN know or the Italians or anybody have done for me. People have
been, I've been so lucky to have people around me that were supportive.
They're not going to, they're not going to see this.
Oh, okay, never mind. So forget it. Just, just the people I'm talking about right now.
Yeah, they're not going to see this and call you. But the other time that that happened for me was
right after that, not right after,
but I went into audition at Gotham
because Jessica Kiersten recommended me.
Wow.
I went in and I did her show.
She had like an early show for young comics
and she put me on it and she was like,
honey, you're so funny, I'm gonna recommend you.
And she did and I met Sean.
I went in for an audition and I went and I was talking to Sean
and I was about to go on and fucking Chappelle came in.
Wow, they bumped you.
And he did 90 minutes.
Oh, God.
And Sean was like, you just have to go on after Dave, sorry.
And I was like, great, great.
It's a lot.
I go on for Dave, I didn't do very well.
Really?
Cause the crowds tired, they're walking out. The checks are going down.
Sure. I get off stage. I go, God, dammit, man. And they were taping it to show it to Chris.
Oh, boy. And I go, God, dammit. And Sean goes, great job. And I go,
Sean, thank you. But come on. He goes, no, no, no, I'm going to show Chris the Chris the tape and I go I don't know if I want you to show him the tape
He goes he knows what's funny. He knows what's funny. Yeah, don't worry about it
And they fucking pass me yeah on that yeah literally like like a thing from like Paul Newman and Tom Cruise like I didn't need to see it
I heard it kid like I'm like and that was it. I had I had regular clubs after that that I could work right and make
So he would on it and meet by the way doctor got you off, but then also meet people And that was it. I had regular clubs after that that I could work and make some money.
And meet by the way, Dr. Cut you off, but then also meet people that went on to, you
know, getting closer with you, getting closer with Burr doing his weekends, Pat Naswalt.
You know what I mean?
And it just kind of those two doors opening were so fucking important. Man. Well, I, I, I'm like, when I see young comics now, you know,
coming to the city and like, what do you, you can see it? What do I do? How do I do it?
You're doing it. There's no way around that feeling. Do I remember having
$50 to my name? 50 to my name. And not like, I don't have a job like comedy
Was my job and I remember coming down here to the Boston comedy club
Mm-hmm and Mustafa Musavya not Mustafa Musavya
Who ran the door
Someone didn't just something happened and he put me up. And he gave me $20.
And dude, you know what I'm saying?
That meant I could get lunch the next day.
I meant I could take the train home
and I had another $50.
It was like my, I fucking lit up.
I couldn't believe that.
And then he was a come back tomorrow
and I got another 20 bucks.
And then I bat frost because I passed at that club.
He came down one night and he goes, come with me.
And I didn't even know where we're going.
Brought me over to the seller.
Didn't even, I went there a couple of times.
Didn't even know about it.
Comes down, SCS was Robb, as God was telling you about.
Okay, do after him five minutes.
I was like, I don't even know what this fucking place is.
Right.
But I've been, I've been working at the Boston comedy club going up after Burr, Patrice,
boss, Chappelle, Brewer, more.
Boston was great.
I mean, I cut my teeth at the Boston.
He dude, yeah, that was the, I was like, all right, I'll go up after whoever the boss
goes up the Boston on to me and Dante going up the Boston on Tuesday and for the three people who were with
broken English in the audience.
Kill and kill it.
Yeah.
And I remember I was like, okay, we're not five minutes murdered.
I come up, okay, call me tomorrow.
Tell him to call me.
And I was just in.
I didn't even go to do it during the cellar.
Blah blah. And I was like, all of a sudden I had gigs every night. I'm working every night. Of course,
the 145. That's why I hear people go and do it. I got the last spot. I had the last spot
for fucking seven years. Yeah. That's what seven years I went up after God free, which 145 meant 345.
Right after him.
But that's what was so important about Gotham.
Caroline's was important because Caroline's got me hosting and featuring work and spots.
I remember this dude.
I remember I played New Year's Eve on Caroline's.
Do you want to talk about hold on?
I have to tell you both.
Okay, good.
We have time. Where are you going?
I have to tell you both.
Okay, good.
We have time.
Where are you going?
I have to tell you three things.
You're the only one here.
So Carolines, they would get you, that got me the hosting gigs with Gilbert Godfrey
or like I said, Pat Nonswalder, whoever, right?
Yeah. Gotham was check spots, but they were consistent check spots.
And I remember I pulled Sean aside one night and I go, Sean, I really appreciate the
Jesus Christ, man.
Can I not do a check spot?
He goes, I'm giving it to you because you can handle it.
Right.
And I was like, I realized, oh, that's a compliment.
Okay.
Fuck it. So, um, but Caroline's, I do, do I remember.
So two money stories where you, the first is, I remember Caroline's book me for new years Eve.
The end of the first year I was working there.
Lewis goes, kid, you want to do a new year's Eve?
I go, yeah. Great. You go, it's okay, cool.
It's two sets, 15 minutes.
Pace 500 bucks a set.
I was like, what?
Dude, it was three years in the comedy.
I was making a thousand dollars on new years.
I couldn't even wrap my fucking head around that dude.
I understand.
When I first did my first prom show,
yeah, when they were like,
are you gonna get paid 300 bucks a night?
I was, I was rich.
Dude, new year's eve.
New year's eve, dude.
Hosting at the seller, that cash.
Yeah.
Do a mean go for you to come,
because we used to work all week every night.
And then we do Friday and Saturday, every show she put us on.
And we'd have that cash.
And we'd be like, we'd just go,
Bap, bap, to bap, to bap.
So you're rich.
And you'd stick that money, oh god, dude, going from nothing,
having to eat noodles and noodles.
I know.
No money.
I had to walk home one night,
because I spent my money on a chocolate pretzel.
I thought I had a token in my pocket.
Token's with 150 at the time.
I had $2 as I was like,
oh, I got a chocolate pretzel.
I had to walk from here to 97th Street.
Carly used to make fun of me when I lived with her in Jay
because of how, however, the other week I'd be like,
I have to just eat hot dogs all week again.
They don't get it.
Like she thought it was funny.
She was like, and she's like,
Jesus, Joe, you don't have to eat hot dogs,
because she would be like,
you can have some of our food if you want.
But I was very like, no, I must earn my keep, you know?
Like, but I'm, I used to, I used to eat my food.
When we lived with that South African guy, and he would
bring food home, and I would eat his food sometimes.
I never told him this, but I was so hungry and I had no money.
I would get a spoon and I would just take a spoonful of whatever the fuck he had.
And I don't even know what it was, but I would just eat, take a spoonful of it, just to
have, just to relieve that hunger pain.
Dude, I remember the first time,
I remember going to the movies to see land of the dead
with Kurt, Metzger, Jay and Carla. And being enamored that I had $20
to go to a movie and also get some snacks. Yeah, like that I could afford to spend that.
Yeah. Like it was a huge moment. But as you talk about like the generosity and stuff, I'll tell you a story.
Dude, real quick, before you tell me that story, I remember the first night I had a full
night of shows and I got to take a cab home. I took a cab from Astro Place to 97th Street,
up third. And I was, I had my head out the window like Heath Ledger and the Joker. And I was just looking up at the high rises.
I felt like I was rich because I had like my own little, like I, I never, I'm
going to take a cab.
Yeah.
I remember me and Billy at three in the morning at Astro Place, just sweating in like mid
August at three in the morning because we, we, we'd have to take that six train.
Uh, and we would just, it was no AC, just wet from doing like 10 spots each and going
back to that little shit apartment with no AC.
And, and it was the best, the fucking best.
It was, there's a wonder to that time where you have nothing, but it also
none of it means anything. Well, it goes back to me. Yeah, it means a lot to you. Yes.
But there are no real stakes. There's, there's none of the bullshit yet. The competition isn't
there yet. The, I got to try to sell a TV show. The, why didn't I get that thing? You know,
I'm ready for my special, but they didn't give it to me.
You know, there's none of that yet.
Yeah. There's none of it.
It's just comedy.
I get to do comedy.
It's a stage time.
I remember I said to it.
And getting money for that stage time is the goal.
Pay whatever shit ret you had to do.
Yeah.
Fuck, dude, fuck cockroaches, fuck homeless people,
fuck rats, none of that mattered.
It was about a pack of cigarettes, a cup of coffee,
a fucking a New York Post, lunch, and a spot.
That was all.
Remind me at the very end.
I want to tell a story of the very end.
Of your life?
Yeah, but trust me, it's very apropos,
but it should go with the end.
At the podcast of your life.
The podcast. Okay, all right, well, I don't know just at the end go
Okay, we're ending tell me yeah, but
Trust me it'll be it'll be it'll be worth sure but uh the uh be funny if it's a video of you banging my wife back
Back in the day when you're getting head from dawn. He won't be up for every's doing ten spots
Yeah, but he comes over here.
He's quick.
Anyway, I remember I was in LA and I was at the dynasty typewriter
and I was doing a set.
And I, what is that?
It's like an alt theater.
Exactly.
Not a bad room, but I got off stage.
It's called dynasty typewriter. I don't know why room, but exactly. I got off stage called Dynasty typewriter.
I don't know why it's called that. I know what it's, but it's a decent room. I write. It's
weren't what a who cares. That's that get sidetracked. Well, I like to bust your balls a little.
I'm not saying I love the name of the fucking room. I'm just I need to smash a little
the all thought of you once in a while. Uh, so I got off stage, I went in the green room and Adam Sandler was in the green roof
because he was working on his special when he did that 100% fresh special.
Oh, yeah.
And uh, I was like, holy shit, it's fucking Adam Sandler.
And then his nephew, whose name is escaping me, who I think actually directed some of
his movies eventually, so.
But that kid was like, hey, Joe, I don't know if you remember me,
but I used to work at the stand and I'm like,
oh yeah, what's up, dude, and we started talking.
And he's like, this is my uncle.
That him?
I think that's him, yeah.
Yes.
And he goes, this is my uncle Adam.
And I go, hey, he's like, hey nice to meet you, man.
Remember, right?
And I started talking to him about comedy
and I go, how's it treating you?
And he's like, well, dude, I'm two years in and blah, blah, blah.
And I go, dude, I'm gonna tell you something right now.
It's not gonna seem like it right now, but trust me.
I go enjoy this period so much, dude.
I go, there's nothing at stake right now.
I go, when I think back to when I was two years in,
I go, bro, I was doing gigs in converted pool halls.
This guy named Paul J. Salari, produced shows in Philly.
Me and my friend Chip would go in and close the show out because it was
like his comedy class graduates. We would close the show out. He'd pay us each. What's that?
What'd you do with my buddy Chip? What's that? Oh, God. Anyway, fuck yeah. Yeah. Anyway,
I go, we close the show and he give us 50 bucks because we were technically ahead of the graduates
because we had a year and a half under our belt or whatever.
And I go, dude, we do the show.
We'd hang out after and drink.
We chase after the kids in the classes, sister or cousin,
whoever the chick came out to see them, whatever.
I go, dude, it was the best fucking time of my life because it didn't matter.
I just got to do comedy. I thought 50 bucks could have been a million. And he was like,
oh, thanks. And he was like taking it in. And from the corner, Adam Sandler goes, yeah,
that's, that's a pretty good time. He's right. It's a, this is a good time. That was a
good time that I never had.
I literally skyrocketed the fame.
The fucking second year was in the business.
Really just take the steam out of shit.
I mean, dude, he didn't feel one day of that.
Well, but it wasn't a story about the struggle.
It was a story that went from fucking college to SNL.
It was a story about the early days when you don't give a fuck.
Dude, I'd say what I miss,
and I'm sad that these young comics don't get to do it.
I'm really sucked because the...
Fuck your opener. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You can fuck them, they got it, but you got to be, it's got to be a dude.
You hit me.
It was up gay rape.
You can't, yeah.
Back colleges.
I never did them.
Wolf, let me tell you.
I couldn't get passed by, I couldn't get picked up by a college agent.
I was, I was in the heyday of colleges.
I know.
I'm me, Keith Burr. I still go hoping for you a college
Yeah, I could never get my own colleges hey day. Yeah
And it was I'm talking. I mean bro Maddie Frost
Yeah book he was one of the guys at book colleges and what's his name?
I got Brian Brian
Yeah, he was at the pussycat. He came down.
He owns his own fucking.
He made a software company and he's just a good friend.
He's great.
But I'm telling you man, we would do college.
And it sucks for these guys because it was a way to make a lot of cash.
Thousands of dollars, they fly you in.
You do a show.
All these chicks, 17, 18 year old college girls would come. You
go hang out after they treat you. What?
You're at that time. I'm not going to say it because people are such pieces of shit and
they don't clip it and whatever, but we're canceled. Yeah, we were back. We were backstage
at a college. And the lady from the student committee, like the head from the student committee like the head of the student committee.
It's like an older woman, not older, but like, you know, we were the rap.
She was like 40.
Yeah, the student rap.
Yeah, but she was my poise.
She wasn't a student.
She came over to us and she goes, guys, just, you know, just, you know, we, you know,
we have a little rules.
It's a little sensitive here.
Please don't say F or N, but she said the actual words. And you go, we were looking at her and you go, what the fuck kind of comics do you think
we are? And you go, you know, the only comics say that are gay and black comics, right?
And she goes, well, we had somebody here last week. I won't name any names, but he, it's
probably the, he's just then we saw the Apollo flyer float by.
But, no, she wouldn't tell us who was there,
or whoever was there, apparently he was a white comic.
That went a little while.
Well, dude, I actually,
it was so fucking funny, dude,
when you said it to us.
It's really like, what?
It's fucking, all right, dude,
I used to love those comic, I used to love those call,
I used to love those colleges, man.
I brought Gina Biscante to a fucking gig.
One gig.
That's probably what she was talking about.
One gig I took him to, one.
Never again.
He was like, dude, I love to go, I love to go.
All right, cool, I'll take you.
I got this gig.
Got a little kick comes up, a little black kick comes up.
You guys, Robert, thanks.
You know, if you come up really,
you started at the cell,
we really wanted a book, okay, great. You know, if you come over, really, you saw you at the cell, you really wanted a book, okay, great.
You had just, please, we had a sexual assault on campus
or no rape jokes or stuff like that.
And he said, you know, no racist jokes too.
We had some issues, but I was like,
yeah, do you know a problem?
I don't, we don't, great.
First jokes out of his mouth.
Sexual assault joke to women, a rape joke,
and then a racist joke.
Did he bomb or do well?
Oh, it didn't do good.
The kid, the kid, the kid working there,
comes in and goes, why would he do that?
And I went, I have no fucking idea why, literally.
Oh, that's so funny.
I come off, I go, what the fuck part of,
he goes, no, it went over, they liked it.
I go, that's not the point.
And it didn't go over, you fuck.
It's so funny.
He's a fucking mental patient.
I did a bar show with Gina once.
And it was the next day.
And I go, no, no, I'm sorry, we're on our way there.
And I go, what's the order tonight? And he no, I'm sorry, we're on our way there.
And I go, what's the order tonight?
And he goes, I was thinking you go up and then I'll go up last since I know everybody
at this bar.
And I go, good.
I go, because if you said you were going up first, I was going to ask if we could stop
so I could buy a fucking shovel to dig myself out of the hole.
And he starts laughing and he goes buddy a
rape couldn't follow me.
He's fucking bad man.
He does not give a fuck.
It's the worst.
It is not give a fuck man.
It's the worst.
I mean, I did, colleges were the worst but the best because it paid, I remember I did
Manhattan College once.
The money was stupid. I remember just even the opening money was stupid.
Dude, a five grand. Yeah.
To do the cafeteria at lunch. Okay. My cousin, my first cousin went to that school.
She didn't even go and see me. I was literally saying her name during
the show. Anybody see, I gave her a name. Anybody that we know her, can you go get her? It's
my first cousin was supposed to be a dude. There was six people, six people at high tops,
at high tops, sitting on stools, at lunch at three o'clock, five fucking
grand. How do you sing everything in your body wants to go? I shouldn't do this. But the
money was so good, it's like, Hey, hey, guys, done. Yeah, away from. I would just go
to the table to the table. Dude, I did a show in front of two people in Rhode Island at
one in the morning with no voice. Dude, Eddie, ifs, you just, you just maybe think of a thing.
I got a story about him.
That was a, there was a landmark moment in my career.
Is this the same story?
No, because that, I was the same way where no matter how,
look, I, I, I closed for years with the story
getting chanted in hatred offstage
at the insane clown posse gathering. And then they offered me
the gig to come back. And I said, yes. And the only reason I didn't go back was because
I booked my first pilot. It had to cancel. Right. And my manager at the time tried to
talk me into keeping and honoring the insane clown posse gig. And I said, you're fired.
Comedy central pilot that they want me to have a recurring segment on. What are you talking
about? Anyway, um, but uh, why did they boo you off the insane? They just, they didn't
like me. And then I started yelling at them. And then they started chanting. What did
they chant family? That's like their chant. They's chant family. They not just for me.
They're chant period. So the family means get the fuck off stage. No, it just means like
we stick together like family. So when they they're when they're chanting it at you an anger, it probably means like
it's time to go. Okay. What did you do after that? You walked off stage?
I walked off early. Was it dangerous? It certainly fucking felt dangerous, Bob.
62 clowns screaming in unison. Yeah, it felt fucking dangerous in the woods. Yeah.
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comodidad 10 de los desde 29 con 99.
Daisman, mucho por andar.
Me he for a gran closer.
Se me ha clausado mi primera patria con esa historia.
Y luego me he clausado.
Oh, que ha sido el rato.
62 claves en los voces.
Sí, eso es delicioso. Oh, it's been a ride. 62 clowns in the woods. Yeah, that's dangerous.
Yeah.
But dude, Eddie, if called me.
Dude, it's like literally, I think it was three months ago.
And he goes, he goes, I got a gig for you.
Okay, what is it? And he goes, he goes, I got a gig for you. I got, okay, what is it?
And he goes, it's in, God damn it,
I can't remember the name of the place.
Where's that place with like the white sand beaches overseas
and the clear water?
And everybody there is in the linen the whole time.
What the coffee coast?
It was something like that.
Okay.
It was something like that.
Like the French Riviera?
It was something like Dubai, but not Dubai, like along the water. Okay.
It's killing me. I can't remember. I have three autistic kids over there looking to
stop. Yeah. He goes, but it's a festival. They want five comics. They've gotten me in charge
of booking it. It's going to pay you more money than you've ever gotten for a gig. And it's an expensive paid vacation. And I go, are you out of your fucking mind? And he goes, what?
I go, do you want me to fly over there just to bomb? Is that why you're asking me? I go,
you think a crowd of linen dress people on the most expensive vacation hotspot on earth
at an outdoor show. I want to hear the shit that I do on stage. Yeah. Add an outdoor show.
Huh.
Wanna hear the shit that I do on stage?
Yes.
And he goes, probably not, but still it pays.
I go, Eddie, no.
You said no.
Yeah, I said no.
Did you find out how much it was paying first?
No.
What if he said 60 grand?
It's not 60.
What if it was?
It's probably like 10.
Oh, okay.
That's the most you've, that's the, that's not the most you've ever been to get to do one set for 15 minutes
or something. It's not a lot. Can you stop? Sorry. Undercutting my stories. Please. Got
you. Please. Got you. Yeah. Got you. My point to telling the story is it is a lot. I mean,
can we lie a little nobody Nobody's fact checking these stories.
My point of the story is,
it's a nice landmark to go.
I got to a point where I was able to say,
no, I don't care how easy the money seems.
I'm not doing that gig.
I don't care what the perks are.
I don't care that the perk is I get to hang there for a week
and of the best vacation of my life. I'm not doing it. I haven't got there yet perks are. I don't care that the perk is I get to hang there for a week and of the best vacation
of my life.
I'm not doing it.
I haven't got there yet.
Yes, you know, I still go to a rubarees every year.
Is that a tough gig though?
Oh, it's such a great gig.
Yeah, then what like what would be bad about it?
I, I.
I don't know.
I said, Skig isn't bad.
I'm just not the right comic for it.
I don't know, dude.
I.
But what's bad about a rubare? Not that it was a joke. It didn't fly fuck off
I was really trying to say it's nice. John mayor fucking Jesus Christ
But if you told me
It sounds so arrogant to say that because people actually have to work for fucking living 10 grand
It sounds arrogant to say right now
Oh, if you offered me $3,500
bucks to go stand on a milk crate in the corner of a cafeteria at a college, I'd say no.
Yeah.
Because so back in the day, we said, yes, of course, but eventually back in the day, we
did so many fucked up situations for money. We were prostitutes, but also eventually
too, as you build your,
let's, I hate the word, but as you build your brand
and your career and all this stuff,
you have to protect yourself to an extent.
You can't just do anything.
You, the worst thing you can do is a gig,
and it happens still, but as a gig where people
are coming up to you going, what the fuck are you doing here?
Right.
That's not good.
Well, people say that to me when I do a rubah, but here's the thing, I love a rubah and
the gig is a great gig.
Like the show, the actual comedy club that he's created is a, like if it's, it's, it's
a club.
And it happens to be in the place that I love
more than my favorite place in the world.
And I happen to get to where it's weird,
like Tony V, I work at Tony V,
who is one of my favorite.
He's awesome.
I mean, one of the best in the biz.
But I'm saying like there's a difference
between a guy and a Rubigone.
What are you doing all the way over here?
Well, people do. And somebody coming up to you at a bad gig and going,
what are you doing here?
Like how did they get you to come to?
That's the thing that that's what I'm talking.
You know what I say, no,
and a cafeteria corner at a college
is that is one of those gigs?
Well, you know what I say, no to more now?
Bad people.
I don't, I do gigs that are fucked up.
I, I'm in places where people are like,
what are you, why are you here?
It's a 50-seater and a blah, blah, blah.
Nothing wrong with a small room.
What, but bad people.
There's clubs.
Sure.
That people love, people go to blah, blah, blah.
But the way, what they, the way they treat comedians,
the way they treat me and what they do to us,
I'm just like, I don't want, I can't be around it because the second I get, doesn't matter
the money, doesn't matter where it is.
That's what I'm saying. That's part of what I'm saying.
The, I can't, being around it all, the amount of stress, anxiety and fucking justified anger and resentment that I get ruins my life and
comes out on people I care about.
But I'd rather just say, you know what?
I'm not going to work for you because I know you're not a good person.
There are clubs I will never go back to.
I don't care how much I could theoretically
make. I agree with you. Part of what I'm saying, and by the way, I'm not saying this about
Eddie and Eddie's gig. I just knew it was a gig where I wasn't going to represent myself
well because I wasn't right for it. So that's part of it. If I don't think I'm right for
the gig, I say no because it's not fair to the audience either. I don't care what you're paying me.
They're paying too.
I would rather do a TV cedar with my fans
than a 340, 50 cedar, a thousand cedar
with a bunch of people you stuck in there to buy chicken.
Or, I gotta be racist, but.
The, the, the,
I didn't say fried.
But, but no, but it's that.
It's ribs, it's that, but it could also be,
it could also just be, hey, our demographic here is
20 year old college girls.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna go, guys, I'm not right for it.
It's just not, it's not gonna work.
Like it just doesn't, so, so that's part of it.
But, but a bit part of it is what you're saying about not going to places where you're not, it's not gonna work. Like it just doesn't, so that's part of it. But a bit part of it is what you're saying
about not going to places where you're not,
where the people curating or propriding or whatever,
are treating people right because
that reflects in the experience.
That isn't just about how they treat you.
It's also nine times out of a 10 or a room like that,
they're not controlling the audience.
Nope.
Audience gets out of hand.
Yeah.
Things run too long.
There is a way, there is a way a comedy show is supposed
to be handled and run.
And it's, it's a lot of it's on the club.
A lot of it's on the club.
A show should not be two hours.
A show should be an hour and a half.
The open is shouldn't do 45 each.
You know what I mean?
There should be bouncers.
You can train an audience,
any audience to be fucking haved themselves, right?
You can do that as a club.
Or you can let them run,
like the cheque spot is so stupid and ridiculous.
At this point of the game that a club has a check spot, it's fucking mind boggling that
they haven't figured that shit out.
I just talked about this today on a dancing domain in his wife of a podcast called the it couple.
And I was, we were talking about this today,
about, that's why I stopped doing clubs on the road.
I'm done.
I do independent venues now,
because I'm not fucking sitting there
to work your rhythm of how the dollars come in.
Yep.
I'd rather take the hit.
I will go into a venue that doesn't have a fucking email list and sweat out selling those tickets myself so I can say here's how
the show goes. I do some shows I go no opener. It's just me. I want to deal with it. Yeah.
And I'm done. I'm not doing that. I love when they go lazy, gentlemen, Robert Kelly
and you walk out. Yeah. What's up? What's going on?
That's great.
You know, of course I always have to bring an opener because these three autistic kids want
to come on everything.
Can I come to Jersey?
Yes.
I'll bring one.
What about Tampa?
Why do you?
I'll bring one when I can.
But you know, I'm doing, you know, Toronto's a festival for JFL, but they were like, what
do you want to do for an opener?
I was like, how long's the slot?
They go an hour.
I go, we're not having an opener.
Yeah.
I will go out and handle it myself.
I love GFL Toronto.
They won't use me.
Yeah, I'm going out there.
Toronto for some reason, they used me two years, and that's it.
I'm excited.
I haven't been back in a long time.
It's very all the festival that version of it, isn't it?
I wouldn't say it's all tea.
No, I mean, there's a lot of mainstream guys there.
You know, Soder was there last year, Sam Morel.
Oh, that's all now.
Sam Morel's there this year.
Fucking far alt.
I'm not alt.
There's alt, dude, you're fucking Jesus Christ.
Jeanne Grafilo called you alt.
If she called me anything, I'd be flattered.
Ooh, see, that's alt.
You like Jeanne?
I love Jeanne. Youine? I love Janine.
You do?
I love Janine.
What's it like Janine?
I wanted to, there was a time in my life
where I wanted, it was convinced I was supposed to marry her.
Really?
Yeah, I said that to her, I was on a show with her.
I was on a debate.
There was this show called, it's still out,
it just came back, it's called Uptown Showdown.
The two teams of comics and you debate.
For debate, what?
It'll be like books versus movies.
Okay. It's, you know, whatever. It's fun.
It's really fun.
And you have to go up though, like, you have to be funny,
but you have to go up debates style,
like really layout, like an argument.
Okay.
Which is fucking your forte.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was, I was always did pretty well at it, but,
but I, the first or second one I was ever on was books versus movies. And she was on team books, and I was always did pretty well at it, but the first or second one I was ever on was Books
versus Movies.
And she was on team books and I was team movies.
I know, but one of the jokes I made was that if it wasn't for movies, I wouldn't have
realized when I was 17 years old that the woman I'm supposed to marry is Jeanine Crophola.
You said that.
Yeah.
What did you say?
Got a huge laugh.
She laughed.
She was just like, oh, my.
I thought she, I thought she was laugh. She left. She was just like, oh my, you know, whatever.
I thought she, I thought she was gay at one point.
She likes guys.
I think so.
Yeah.
Did she?
I've heard her talk about her boyfriends.
She has a boyfriend?
I don't know about now.
I've heard her talk about her boyfriends.
Yeah.
It was weird.
She went through a weird, like, I always thought,
I remember we did when I was touring with Dane at some point
We had some big comedy central party up on 50
50 something street uptown and we were sitting over here at the after party and she was like over there
And she fucking hey you could tell she hated us
She
Wanted not didn't say hi. You know what I mean?
She's gone to skankfest and shit. She's not snore. But I, yeah, I, like I've saw it at
the stand and she's been the nicest person ever. Yeah, she's great. And I'm like, she's
working on the stand with like pieces of shit like Ari and big J and Lewis. And I'm like
defended Louis.
She defended,
she was like people should be,
he should have another chance to come back.
I think I had the wrong impression of her
for some weird reason,
because of her fucking weird cats movie.
I think,
what was it?
I fuck cats, what was it?
The truth about cats and dogs and her?
Yeah, that was it.
That was her.
I think a lot of people,
look, you know, I had the, I think all these years I had the
wrong, the wrong, the whole, like, or she probably either wrong impression of you. She's
probably like this fucking club guy hates my guts and thinks I'm some fucking poet that
doesn't whatever. And you know, like they think that about, well, because I'm from Boston
and you know, if you know the story about her and Bobcat and all
them who I love Bobcat, you know, they, these guys in Boston
created this scene.
And then Hollywood came to Boston.
Yes.
And, and these people moved to Boston because of the scene.
And they took those people.
So they took, they took Janine.
They took Bobcat.
They took, of course, Stephen Bobcat, they took of course Stephen
Wright, who was one of the guys, you know, he was from Boston, right?
From Boston. He was one of the guys. But, and you know, most original, I mean, one of
the most original comics ever, right? And, um, you know, and those guys from Boston were
like, fuck them and fuck, you know, that's one of the reasons why Boston comics, after
that would always make it hard on...
Outside.
Outside is coming, famous comics come in
into Boston, the headline.
They were like, oh, cool.
I'm gonna MC, Swini, you're gonna middle,
and we're gonna fucking bury these cock suckers.
And that's where that came from.
Wow.
From that situation.
And then, I think I always had that outlook on her.
And then, but when I saw her at the stand,
she was like, she was out front talking.
I was like, she seems so nice.
She's really, I don't know very well at all,
but ever since I met her a few years back,
she's always been very, very sweet to me.
And it's nice seeing her.
She always stops and talks for me.
But you never, but she never does any,
you never see her do any standup
She does a stand television. No, no, I know. I mean you know like she's been working to stand since it was at the old venue
Right, yeah, and she hasn't put anything out. She works Eastville too, but she's
She does Eastville. She doesn't put anything out. She does she do well. I mean, she
No, yeah, I think so. I just make my only reason I pause was I'm like, I don't remember the last time I actually caught her on the show
I go in and she's like getting off her. I got later than she is open micers putting out of specials every six months on YouTube
How the fuck is she not putting something out?
I don't know I get so I don't know I get so disheartened with this shit man like And I know I shouldn't know. I get so, I don't know. I get so disheartened with this shit, man.
Like, and I know I shouldn't, but, you know,
I get so fed up with how everybody is doing everything
that I just don't wanna do anything.
I don't wanna participate.
I'm not trying to make it about me.
I'm just kidding.
You can just say, you know, people are like,
when are you gonna put this new hour out?
I'm like, I don't know if I am gonna put it out.
Everybody's putting a fucking thing on YouTube.
Like, that was like a really cool thing you could do
when there was like a means and a perspective
or a motivation to do that thing.
It was a workaround.
And now, it was a workaround the streaming services
that had gatekeepers.
Right.
Clips on you to eclipse on Instagram.
Every fucking comic is put in fucking clips up.
It's every comic is doing promo videos.
It's like Jesus fucking Christ man.
Like it's everybody just thinks like there are no,
I don't mean to sound bitter.
I hope that I don't.
You do.
You do to all the young comed bitter. I hope that I don't. You do.
You do. To all the young comedians.
I love young comics.
I really do.
Like one of the things, I love the thing I'm most flattered
about or buy when I do a show in a city is somebody says,
you know, the comics are gonna come out to the late show,
whatever it is.
Yeah.
I am so fucking flattered by that.
Sitting with them after at the bar, having beers,
talking. I know the one, when you go on the road and the comics show up to see your set
and hang out after and what that's, it's all, it is one of the, one of the highlights
of it means the world. The gig is that all these, that's cool. Yeah. Even though, you know,
it means they don't, it sucks too. I've had that. Yeah, right. You see them all show
up and then they leave halfway through your set. Yes. Guys, thanks. But I mean, this
guy's no Doug stand hope. What you know, fat, you love your wife. We get it. What bugs
me though. So it's not a, it's not a thing against young shoulders.
Oh, geez.
Sorry.
It's not a shot towards young comics.
It's not.
But one thing that bothers me is that there are no sacred tools for established comics to
use anymore.
Everybody has access to every tool at all times.
And it's like, Jesus fucking Christ, man.
Like, I'm just trying to sell a thing
that I've been doing for two fucking plus decades now.
And I've got to combat with a sea of content
in every direction you turn.
It used to at least be that one or two assholes
would build up a fucking website, right?
And they would say, has headlined
and they'd name all these clubs
and then anybody in the industry knew,
this is a bullshitter, they didn't work these clubs,
they did bring her shows
and they're saying that they had lined the clubs
and they produced her.
There was at least a way to see through
or kind of cut through it.
Yeah.
And that comics doing that didn't create noise.
It just was an eye roll.
There's a thing now where it's like between the TikTokers,
the Instagram models, the influencers,
the, you know, every comedian thinking,
you have to do this, this all the time
because it's about building this presence
in this virtual world.
It's like, Jesus fucking Christ, man.
Like it's exhausting.
It's fucking exhausting.
It's exhausting.
Like, not like, I'm not saying it should just be there for me.
I'm not gonna cut y'all.
Yeah, yeah, man, no, but I just think that you're right.
It's exhausting because it's constantly evolving
into something else.
Somebody else finds a new way to do something
and that's what you have to do.
It's now it's clips, then it's shorter clips,
now it's longer clips, then it's fucking crowd work clips,
then it's like back in the day,
there was an evolution, there was a system in place
where you went in, you moved to the New York RLA,
you got in in a club, you were seen, you did a the New York RLA, you got in in a club, you were
seeing, you did a showcase, people saw you, you got a manager, you got an agent, you went
out to things, you had this swammer sank.
And then you OD'd on the road.
And that was the system.
Yes.
A nice point A to point B.
Yeah.
You're in the first hole.
Those sexual assaults. But it is a change.
You know, I'm actually, I was going to put my, my specials on, I think, you know, it's
weird because my special, I feel like it was one of the last paid specials where people
paid for it.
Right.
You know, Louis was like, should we just give this away?
I was like, no.
Right.
I was like, dude, we worked, we worked on this.
We're putting together something special.
We're creating a room.
We have a thing that we, a vision that you're gonna create
that I see, we're gonna have this thing.
This is worth something to people who follow me.
And it was, it paid off.
Fans showed the fuck up, right?
I went and promoted it. I went on all these shows.
Those people helped me. But now it's like, they're like, okay, well, we should take your special
and put it on YouTube. I'm like, why am I going to throw my special out on YouTube? To what?
See a barometer of how much people either like me or don't and who's getting
all the data, who's getting everything? YouTube, YouTube's getting everything from all of
it. I get nothing but views and maybe, maybe people at this club. I'm putting, I actually
this is new app that's I know it. I don't even want to talk about it. Talk about it.
I don't do it.
Listen, I'm doing it.
I'll tell you why.
No, no, no, no.
You know what I'm talking about, I don't want to talk
like, because I don't want everybody flooding
to the fucking thing.
It's like, it's like, there's a thing now
that could be a great alternative to YouTube.
I'm excited about it.
And I'm like, here's why it's different than you do.
Because here's why Joe, this is why it's not going to be the same thing.
And everybody can go to it and do it because it's not going to give you fans, right?
Your fans are going to have a place to go to give you all the, it's, there's no,
you can say whatever you want as long as it's funny.
There's no editing, right? There's
no, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Um, there's no, uh, like, like YouTube, Joe
Lisk got a special demonetized. Yeah, I know. Now I know. Because of content. Yeah. I know.
There's none of that with this. I know. I think it's great. And you, all as I want from you, I, me, the guy you came to see, the guy you like, or
the guy you might like, because you saw a little clip, is your email.
So why?
I can send you more of my stuff or let you know when I'm coming to you.
Yeah, I know.
I like what they're doing.
I had a long talk.
Steve Burns very heavily involved with them. Telling you, dude. And I talked to Steve and the guys that created it
early, very early on when it was just in the prototype. Sure.
They were, they were explaining it to me and I didn't fully understand it. And now I do.
And I think it's great. But I mean, it's just,
It's just, here's, here's, look, I can't,
but here's, here's why, like, it doesn't matter. It's not like YouTube, right, or new thing.
This thing is for you and your fans,
and my fans who like you,
whether you can, you get to touch them when you want to.
Unlike YouTube, where you throw it out there and hope,
hope it does something. Yeah, but you also, I think, would want to discover new stuff on there,
no? You can. You will. You'll be presented with what, like, my space used to do. If you like this
guy, you're going to like this guy. Well, that's what YouTube does, too. YouTube does it,
but it's a fucking weird
way they do it. It's in a weird, you know, I got to get, because I liked a, a, a, a,
fucking, cause I, I liked a Shane Gillis clip. All of a sudden, I just get 90 Tucker Carlson
fucking clips. It's like, what the fuck? What the fuck? All my, all my feed is is fishing, Tucker Carlson, you know, and, and, and, and, and, and,
that happened to me on Instagram where I saw a couple videos of like, you know, where
it was like, you know, like a sick dog gets nurse back to health and I liked it.
Yeah.
Or like a kid that was like burned severely in a fire is like giving this inspirational
talk about, you know, don't ever let life stop.
Don't have a lot of fire with gasoline.
And like I like those,
and all of a sudden my feed would be all like,
you know, like a fucking baby with one eye.
Yes.
That's like a dog with no head.
I'd be like,
And there's no Jesus Christ.
There'd be great if there was some chubby Indian girl doing that.
It's not.
It's a, it's an algorithm that's just choosing that for you.
Look, that's why I think punch up the, the app there.
Well, it's going to be caught.
You're not going to see that other bullshit.
It's going to be, I hope, I hope hope I, I believe wholeheartedly in the platform.
Yeah. And I think what they're doing is great.
Mon edited content. And it's certainly not my place to not try to help blow them up.
They're doing a thing. They want people to come to it. That's a good thing for them.
Yeah.
But my concern with even like what I'm saying is is that people flock to everything now because
it's just another notch in their belt.
And people flocking to something means now there's too many users, there's too many this,
there's too much content.
We need an algorithm.
We need an algorithm to help with this
because we can't personally curate this anymore.
But let me say something to you.
That's what happens.
I want to say something to you.
I look at like, somebody's talking about the career
and how this guy's doing this and this one's doing that
and there's, I look at like what you've done,
what I've done, where we're at.
Dude, like what you've done, what I've done, where we're at.
Dude, you have a successful sandwich shop bar.
You dream, I mean, you dream. Part of my dream.
One of your dreams.
I mean, seriously, knowing you,
back in the day, we used to go make sandwiches.
How much you love food, but you have another podcast,
kind of the same thing about things you love
with a person you love, and it's successful.
You're stand up, you get to do what you want.
Your stand up is not what they push you toward.
You just do what the fuck you want.
Both of us have this life now where we're working with friends,
doing shit we love.
Like I came back off my vacation this time going,
I can't wait to get back to the bonfire,
to get back to YKWD, to get back to bone to pick,
to get back to my standup.
To, I wanna go, like in my brain,
I had this vision of this thing I wanna write this year.
I'm like, go write this thing right now.
Because, you know, of the strikes going on
and I have a couple of things that are on hold,
I'm like, let's go just do that.
We're in such a great position.
So, do like all this shit that we're talking about,
you gotta do this, you gotta do that.
You don't have to do any of it. No, I know. You don't have to do any of it. I, you gotta do that. You don't have to do any of it.
You don't have to do any of it.
I don't give a fuck, I don't have to do any of it.
I can do what I want because where I'm at,
I am a hundred, I have a family, a roof over my fucking head.
I make good money, I make insane money for what I do.
So that circles back to what I was originally saying,
which is I get this heartened,
but I was getting to this and I didn't get to it.
I get this heartened where I don't want to participate
in any of it because I get annoyed.
But then I realize I shouldn't.
I should just keep doing things the way I do.
You do them.
The way you do them, the way I do them,
the way it's happening.
Dante always says to me
You pins pimp's up hose down. He says pimps up host now women a bitch says I'll hit you if you talk to me like that again
Doon hand a bitch if she don't know
No, but he says he'll always say to me crab legs
That's like an inside thing we have that is it because he loves crab legs. No, it's well. He loves love crab legs
But I bought them one day what does that mean? He was a fisherman. No,
I called him one day and I go, he go, or he called me one day and he goes, what are you doing,
man? I go, oh, dude, and I go, actually, I called you one day and told you I was doing this
because it was one of the other times I did it. But I go, bro, I just went to this fish market. I bought $200 worth of Alaskan King crab legs. And I'm going home right
now to cook them because I felt like eating fucking crab legs. And I go, and I remember
a time in my life where I couldn't even fathom doing this. I'm so happy right now. And he
goes, oh, you motherfucker, that sounds awesome.
What an apopopopop, right?
So whenever I start going about this shit, he goes,
he goes, joe man, crab legs, man.
Yeah. You can go by motherfucking crab legs
when you want to buy a mother.
So what you, you're mad that you don't got a mansion?
Are you not a millionaire?
You can buy crab legs.
And he's, he's right, man. It's like, it's like you, you got to remember like that,
that's what I'm, you know, all the shit we're talking about, not saying yes to the cafeteria
show anymore.
Yeah.
Not going to the club where the guy treats you shitty, because you're like, fuck this, I'm
not doing this anymore.
Yeah.
Appreciate in your family, appreciate it, and you got to roof over your fuck.
Appreciate in the fuck, you know, the insane fan base that has shown up that we've built,
whether it be ONA, whether it be, you know, your own fan base, YKWD, TASBUDs, SKANKS, all
these different fan bases, bonfire, everything, they all come out and support the shit we do and
and and and have
Let us at this point not worry about
Fucking eating my fucking my horror movie podcast. We'll see you now. It's like it's it's numbers wise
It's not as big as taste buds
But man, we've been doing it for 10 years, me and Pat Walsh.
These guys stick with us through thick and fucking thin.
It's like, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate the taste buds fans.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate the, the ONA and the Jim and Sam fans, the Skank
dude, you know, we're about to go back to skank fest.
And it's like in, in, when is it late September, right?
I'm just waiting for you to fucking acknowledge the YKW defense.
I'm about to get there.
Get there.
Get there.
You already said it.
I mean, it should have been number one.
This is the one that created it all.
I mean, does Billy have a podcast if I didn't do it?
Can I tell you something?
What?
How mad it still makes me.
How mad it.
Wait, we're about to go to Skankfest.
You got to Skankfest.
It's like being on the red carpet.
It's like being George Clooney on the red carpet for four straight days.
It's amazing.
It's wild.
How excitable and excited in support of the fans arts. It four straight days. It's amazing. It's wild how excitable and excited
in support of the fans arts.
It's so awesome.
It's so awesome.
Yeah, listen to the gang really created this fucking amazing festival.
Yeah.
That we get to go to and it has all the visual components of an ONA thing
without the evil fuck you thing.
Without the bad guys.
Yeah, without the guy going, you fucking suck.
But yeah, really.
With the YKW, this is where it all started.
And.
Do you know big, we'd, if me and you stuck together
back in the day, and we just did YKW,
that's just question.
Without you little shitty smirk
and you fucking grumpy eyebrows.
It wouldn't be big. That's why it didn't happen.
Can we, oh my God.
I'm not saying it wouldn't be fun or great.
Oh my God. God damn.
This is how it was supposed to be.
You don't think that mean you if we stuck together
and just did, you know what dude podcast?
Joe D'Aros from Robert Kelly, the arguments we had, the realness we had, the way it was,
the fucking shit that we talked about, we could go into funny, we could go into bulb serious,
arguing real shit.
You don't think we'd be, we would have been the biggest podcast?
I think if we did it, I think if we did it, what am I trying to say? I think if we
trying to say no, I'm getting a burp. Oh, good. That's good. I think if we did,
we're thinking about this. Yeah, bird. I think if I think if we did the show that we did
then, but we're somehow magically able to be the people we are now. It would have been great. Right. I don't think in any way shape or form
We would have made it through with who we were back then. No, we would do we we would know we almost murdered each other like six times
That I can remember like yeah, like we would fight we thought I mean violently fought like fights where we almost said to go
Like would up to go to like couples therapy or something I was wild fights. I mean, violently fought. Like fights where we almost had to go to, like, would have to go to couples therapy or something.
I was like, why?
I mean, wild.
And that's when there was no producers.
There was no, I mean, I just did it myself.
Nobody was there.
Nobody was there.
So it would sit there, put his head down, nervous.
Yeah.
I'm, we were so fucking angry.
It's, you know, it's an opinionated.
It's what breaks my heart about not that me and Billy aren't cool, but like, I wish
I could have been, I can only speak for myself.
I wish I could have been a different guy when I got to go through my run with Bill.
Right.
Because we got to do a lot of amazing shit.
Yeah.
I got to do a lot of amazing shit because he allowed me to do it.
And I got to watch a guy literally go from his, I was with him his first
sold out week and ever at the stress factory.
And I got to watch him go all the way to MSG.
And I was with him open and for him at every step.
Yeah.
And I wish during that run, I could have never met Paul Versey.
Yeah.
Or Dean Delray. Well, Adam Ayersen. Or Josh.
Partner guy like.
Love Barton.
Oh my God.
Barton guy.
I got to call him. He texted me while I was in the woods.
He's the best fuck.
But no, I, I, not, and not to say we didn't have a ton of great times, but I wish I could
have been a different dude and
Just appreciated it, but that was the same thing with you and me
I wish I could have just had fun coming two blocks away from my apartment to record a podcast
But man the it's the fear dude the fear you have
Throughout this business sucks until you get your footing until you have throughout this business, sucks, until you get your footing, until you have your
own shit, everything that everybody does, you feel, what's that supposed to fucking mean,
dude? What is that mean? What are you trying to take away from me right now? It's crazy.
I know, dude, I had the same thing with her, with, you know, where it's like money or ego.
It's a lot of it's ego.
My shit, I'm not gonna say it to you,
but I'll speak for myself.
Ego was like, what the, if I do this or that,
I'll pull my, what the fuck, blah, blah, blah,
and in reality, you know, it was all bullshit.
And it ruined a lot of, and I'm on my end, and on other people's ends.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like that ego.
Now, it's like this stage of the game, I'm so grateful for the comic friends that I have.
Yeah.
You still have.
And that we can now, we're finally at a spot where we're kind of lifting each other up or supporting
each other and having a good time where it's not a, it's not a fucking, I can't, I got
to, you know, I got to keep my shit close to me.
Because you know, I know, you know what I mean?
Does that make sense?
It makes perfect sense.
I'm friends with guys now that I literally say, thank God I wasn't friends with them
back then because I might have fucked it up with my bullshit. Sure.
You know, and also I'm still friends with guys that I was friends with back then where it was explode. Dude, I can't tell you this and I mean this.
I could not fucking begin to tell you how much I appreciate our friendship now, what has
evolved into and that we can have talks like this on or off a podcast, emotional talks.
How many times have I called you in the last year even and been like, dude, I'm just fucking
really, I'm so fucking mad about something, not with you, something else. Yeah.
And you're like,
dude, just listen, man,
you know, when you talk me down,
and I hope that I can do that for you once in a while too.
But like, it's,
I'm appreciative of that, you know, I really am,
because there were certainly times in our younger years
where we probably both would have bet
that we wouldn't,
we wouldn't have gotten to it.
Yeah, man, I just think back in the day we were young fucking stallions
Just trying to be the mother fuck. I mean it was so scary back then and now we're at a certain point where I'm like
It really is like it's a
You know
I kind of understand the way it is now.
I'm very confident in my standup.
I know what type of standup.
I know what I can do.
I'm confident in my acting.
I'm, I look, am I the greatest podcast ever?
No, but I'll fucking, I can go on any podcast
anywhere anytime and say some funny shit.
Right.
I can, you know, set people up to be funny.
I know I can hang out with the funniest motherfuckers around
and do it.
And I can look back, I can look off from a distance now
and see the egos.
I can see those things.
And I can stay away from it.
Or I can kinda laugh at it now.
You know what I mean?
Like there's people who have it,
where I'm just like, I did, I'm out.
I don't need, I'm not gonna change you.
I thought I was like a some comic vigilante
back in the day, and I'm gonna fuck and make
sure people are righteous.
Well, that's ego right there.
That's ego.
That's ego.
100%.
God rest Patrice, God rest his soul.
I love the guy, dearly, and I miss him.
He's a hack.
I still miss him all the time, but Patrice had that ego where he, you know, he would feel the need to call you and go,
let me tell you why.
All right, listen, this is what you're doing wrong, you know, and it's like, we all had
that.
That was a phase we were in.
That's one of the great, it's not a regret.
I don't know what the term is, but one of the great unfortunate truths to me is that
Patrice isn't around.
I would have loved to have seen who he evolved into, right?
Yeah.
Because he was just at that point where he was saying things like
on stage where he was saying things like,
I love my girl's daughter.
Yep.
And it, I'm resentful of it because it's another dude's kid
or whatever, you know, and all that stuff.
And it was funny, but I was like, wow, you know, you know, all that stuff and it was funny
But I was like wow he's getting like to this now like vulnerable place. I know
Yeah, you would have been him and Vaughan one had a kid maybe two. Yeah, and he would have been a dad
He would have been a totally different person. Yeah, he went once you you know, I mean, I know that because that fucking straight
Me the fuck out. Oh boy, who's it? You beat the fuck?
I mean, the producer of my show buzzed in on this show.
Where did you go?
It's even worse because I texted Joe going, I'm not gonna buzz in.
I'll text you when I get here and then out of habit.
I buzzed in anyway.
You texted me?
No, no, no.
Oh, oh, sorry.
I was like, what the fuck are these guys doing?
I know he's he's just an asshole.
He was definitely.
So he would have been, he would have been a different guy.
He was, it would have been an interesting, you know,
it would have been interesting to see him become big.
Well, dude, even like, even stuff, you know,
sound, sounds like family to me now, you know,
and we've he's not great. Not a good guy. But sounds like family to me, man. And like,
you know, I truly fucking love the guy. I really do. And we're really close. And we were, we were boys, but the podcast really is, I think, was the thing that shoved
us into as tight as we are now.
Like, oh, look, I know.
I know.
I know.
All right.
God, I know, Sal.
I'll hold that question.
But I was just going to tell you there was it.
This is why I say thank God.
I didn't know this guy back then, right?
Because had I done this with him 10 years ago it would have been over and he's you know we
got to work around the Joker schedule and all that stuff my shitty ego fragile bullshit would have
been like you know dude I'm a fucking person you know what I mean because you don't have the where
with all to go dude he's got that thing going. That thing helps this thing you're doing immensely, you know,
let's give me a little credit.
Please.
Is there you go?
There it is.
There it is.
So glad we never did this part.
So glad.
That's karma, you cock suck.
Oh, wow, really?
The out.
Hey, right.
That's funny.
Haha. But I would have been like, I just didn't know how to
check my shit. I didn't know how to appreciate. You know what I was simply put, I didn't know
how to not take shit personally. It's like you, you, I'm making it about yourself all the
fucking time. But the problem is is when you get into this business,
you're pursuing a thing where you have to kind of
make it about yourself, because if you don't,
you have no chance.
Yeah, as a child.
But, so ever.
I understand it now better, but my therapist
used to always tell me like when the social media
really do, don't take it, it's not personal.
I go, he said, I'm a fat fuck and he wants me to die a horrible death.
How is that not personal?
Right.
But I get it now.
It's not because they don't know me.
And it's not about you.
It's about it.
It would be personal.
It wouldn't be.
Well, because that's about me and not about you.
What I'm saying is that.
But that's a hard fucking thing to recognize.
Right.
It's a hard thing to recognize.
But it's like, you know, with,
you say like, like now with people, like where I'm at,
there's certain things that I can do.
Like even the bonfire, like when Jay was like,
would you do this with me?
This is way before it was even real. I said, was like, would you do this with me? This is way before was even
real. I said fuck yeah, fucking do it. Let's have fun
Like yeah, I'll do it and when it was going down. I was like listen man, Dan. You should you should stay right?
It's a good gig dude stay you're great. You're awesome. Right. All right. I'm not all right dude. I'll do it
You know what I mean though even the Dennis Larry thing. I used to be so afraid. I don't I'm not. All right, dude, I'll do it. You know what I mean? Though even the Dennis Leary thing, I used to be so afraid.
I'm not afraid of it.
It's terrifying.
There's anxiety.
Sure.
But in the reality of it,
it's like, dude, it doesn't matter.
If I bomb and they never ask me to do it again,
because it's fine.
Right.
If I kill, it doesn't matter.
I have annihilated on that thing.
And it hasn't changed my career whatsoever.
And also you might kill and they never ask you to do it again.
It's got nothing to do with you.
Nothing to do.
So that's really the whole thing.
And it's appreciating.
Yeah, but wait, how did taste buds start?
Was that what you guys were saying?
I want to know, yeah, I want to know because look, I know you, you're my friend.
I know the circles you run in, but you were running in some parallel group that I didn't
even really know.
You know what I mean?
Like who?
Look, I knew Jay.
I knew you.
I knew Soto Gomez, blah, blah, blah.
But then there was, you know, when you talk about, you know, like Chrissy D and Sal,
and there's this whole other group over there
that I didn't really, I never knew.
Well, I became tight, I only became,
I mean, I was friends with Chris,
but I only became tight with Chris because
of Sal.
When Sal and I said, let's do taste buds.
So, how did you meet Sal?
That's a funny, well, it's kind of a funny story,
but I had a show, okay, I had a weekly show in LA
called Creep Show.
And me and it was me and Dan St. Germain originally
and then Dan didn't do it because we got into fight.
Cause you're here you go.
You're still my friend, We got to do a fight
So Dan left and then it was just me and then we had these two producers and they were great and the
producer one day said
We already had the lineup book for that night and and at the last minute she was like
Oh my god Joe
Salvo canoes in town and he wants to do a spot. And I was like, who is Salvo Conno?
And she goes, he's from in practical jokers.
We have to put him on.
In practical jokers, we have to put him on.
We have to put him on.
So then again, my ego, I'm like, fuck, fucking practical joker.
What the fuck show is that?
I don't watch that show.
I got a fucking, I got to put this guy on my fucking show because the producer, you know
what I mean?
And I was like, fine, put him on.
But I was like annoyed.
Yeah.
He came in, he was the nicest fucking guy on earth.
It's almost, I feel like he's faking it.
Yeah, and then he went up.
That's how nice he is.
And he goes, this this this also got me
He goes dude. It's so nice to meet you. I'm such a big O&A fan. I was like this guys are right
And he went on and he was really funny and he killed and then we were talking after the show
And I just we just had this nice rapport and I go dude. What are you doing? And he goes nothing and I go
Let's go across the street and get drunk
We always go to J's bar after the show. And he's like, okay. So we went and we did. And we had a
great fucking time. And then I didn't see him again. And then I ran into him at a festival called
outside lands. And we were at a party and we were dead free shots. We were standing at the bar. I'm like, come on, let's go
to it. And he goes, oh, you motherfucker. Last time I saw you made me do all these shots.
And I'm like, well, you're not getting off tonight. Let's go. Let's fucking drink. I
remember that same night. I became friends with Trevor Moore, who became one of my very
close friends until he passed very sadly. I missed that fucking guy a lot, but, but, he was the best.
Anyway, so Sal, that was it.
Like, that was kind of what my bond with Sal was that, that we had these two nights.
And I knew that he was friends with Jay.
And that was kind of that.
And then when I moved back to New York or was starting to not, I hadn't moved back.
I got, I was renting a room with Irene Morales in Brooklyn in Bushwick and I was just going
back and forth from LA to New York thinking about maybe I was going to move back.
I would just see him at stuff and we were buddies and that was it.
We had a good bond.
I liked him, but that was kind of that.
And then I remember Al Jackson was supposed
to do the Joker's cruise and he called me and he goes, fuck dude, I got to pull out of
the Joker's cruise. I feel really bad. Do you think Sal will get mad at me? And I go,
I don't think so. He seems like a nice guy and it sounds like he got a good reason. So
whatever. And then like two days later, Sal texted me and he goes, do you want to do the Joker's cruise?
I was like, oh, that's just because Al dropped out, I think.
Right. And he was like, it literally made me the offer
to text and I go, yeah.
And I went on the cruise and on that cruise,
we were backstage at something.
I don't remember what it was show what it was.
And we started talking about cookies. And
I was like chips away or my favorite cookies like like for store bought cookies. And he's
like, no, are you crazy? They stink Oreos are better. And I go, Oreos fucking suck. And
dude, we started, we started arguing like legit like arguing about cookies. And it got to the point we were screaming at each other
and one point he goes,
get the fuck out of here and stormed out of the room.
Right.
And I was like, I swear to God,
I was like, oh, I'm gonna be good friends with this guy.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
And that was it.
We were just after that, we bonded on that.
We fucking bonded on that.
And I remember I won night I texted him
And I go
I go
Sal I just realized that chips the hoi is a play on ships a hoi. I never realized that before
Hey, he just wrote back my balls are blown off. I've never realized it either
And I was like what the fuck so we So we just kept like, weirdly bonding on that.
And then COVID came.
But we still, that was the thing, man.
We still weren't like, we were friends,
but it hadn't tipped into that.
You know what I'm saying?
What, like what, like you a friendly.
We were boys, but we weren't like dogs yet.
You know what I mean? Like I wasn't getting the invites to shit.
We were just boys.
I still don't get those invites, but yes.
I tell them not to.
The uh.
Who you?
But uh, no.
I mean somebody's saying something.
He loves you.
He doesn't invite me to shit.
Um, but like, and then I got it,
I got invited to his wedding.
I didn't.
Uh, keep going.
But there was still a thing like where we weren't like,
we were right there on like tea or not.
And it wasn't happening.
Yeah.
Fully, at least in my mind, I went to them when they had their
movie premiere.
I went and got to invite.
I did. Who's there? I pulled them aside the movie premiere and I went go get it back. I did who's there?
I pulled them aside the movie premiere and I go look I know we're buddies and everything I go let's
I needed to go a little further you said that yeah, I go let's work some phone calls into the
Mickey what the fuck you a you wanted to be friends yeah cuz I cuz we were we haven't we were having a
Great time, but I'm like let's go let's come's come on. Like, let's fall off. I'll do that with a friend. Like, I'll push a friend like, all right,
we've been having late night meetups long enough.
Let's, I need a little more, you know,
we're not getting any younger.
And you can commit a bit.
You forced religion to be a little fucking queer.
Ha ha ha ha.
Joe's out here.
Joe's out here.
Wow.
What?
I thought you evolved.
I'm sorry.
I did. I'm sorry you thought you evolved. I'm sorry.
I did.
I'm sorry you thought that way.
I did not.
Oh, great enough.
Gay right.
Shh.
Gay right.
So anyway.
Yeah.
What did he say to that?
When you said, listen, if a guy came up to me, he left to my face about it.
Did he?
He was like, you're, you're elunatic.
Right.
Yeah. It's a weird thing to say, hey, I want this to go further.
I said it in a funny way, but I was not thinking to do it.
But I was serious. I'm thinking to do it to Rogan. Yeah.
Yeah. I want to call Rogan be like, listen, man, I want this
relationship. We need to. We know it. You might have a,
you might have a hit podcast come out of it. Oh,
the, uh, I was thinking I needed a co-host.
No, but I but I but anyway, this was what tipped us into like like, you know,
it was Jay. Jay and Ari and Sal hung out all the time. And then COVID was hitting and the hangs were getting smaller and smaller because there was all this stuff out there about like
This might get serious in a minute. We might lock down all the stuff and
Right before COVID
Jay was going to South to hang out and he goes if you want I'll you know
I'm sure it'll be fine
But do you want to come and I go yeah, I'd love to but don't make it weird. Yeah, and he's like I don't it'll be fine
so he
He was like, I'm going
to bring the rosin cells at cool. And then COVID hit. And I we were just we were a COVID
crew. Oh. And that's when it was like we became like fucking family because of that. And
then a year later. So is you three, you four. Yeah. And Christine was there. Christine. So
you five. Yeah. So, um, you don't have to add the girls. No, that's four. One, and Christine was there. Christine. So you five. Yeah, so you don't have to add the
girls. No, that's four. One, two, three, four, four, four, four, yeah, whatever it is. So anyway,
so then a full year and change later, we were in Montauk and it was still COVID, but you could
take safe trips, whatever. I don't fucking remember what we were doing.
safe trips, whatever. I don't fucking remember what we were doing. And we were and we were in the kitchen one morning, making breakfast. And somebody, I think Ari had bought bagels.
And I was, or no, I bought bagels, but I only bought cinnamon raisin and plain. And
Sal like came in and he's like, what the fuck? Who doesn't buy everything, bagel? And
I go, why the fuck would I've done that?
And he goes, it's the best Beggle.
And I go, no, it's not.
Cinnamon raisin is, and we started fucking screaming
at each other.
It's ag, but go ahead.
It's ag or cheese, but go ahead.
Egg.
Egg.
Egg.
I've never even seen someone order that one.
It's the one that's always empty.
No, it's not.
Bob, the one that's always full.
Egg or cheese.
You can't a bagel and put an egg on it.
Nah, dude, egg bagel.
Egg, the yellow egg bagel or the cheese bagel is the...
Let me tell you something.
I've said it before and I've said again, you lost weight and you used to be beautiful.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about anymore with food.
Egg, you've said shit to me in the last year about foods since you lost weight where I'm
just like he's lost his edge.
This is like when Miles Davis stopped doing heroin and the music sucked.
You've lost your fucking edge.
What are you talking about? I lost egg bagg. You've lost your fucking edge. What are you talking about?
I lost Hank Beggar.
I lost my fat edge.
Yes.
It's not everything.
It's the, so we argued literally,
cinnamon raisin is for women.
Dude, cinnamon raisin with cream cheese and jelly.
What?
Cinnamon raisin with cream cheese and jelly is no.
For women and children.
That is a is a female.
I listen, I've gone, I go for bagels.
I have a family.
You know what bagel they get?
I hear you just said that.
I hear the way you just said that.
You fucking dick.
I have a family.
Listen.
I'm saying, I don't have to create, I don't have to create
with a kidney and a Jew and fucking long island.
I have, and I go, honey, what bagel do you and Max want?
Cinnamon raisin.
Yeah.
That's a girl bagel.
I don't care, it's awesome.
I'm just saying it's a girl bagel.
A man bagel.
You know what else is a girl thing?
What?
Pussy, and it's awesome.
I love pussy.
I love cinnamon-regated bagels.
All right, there you go.
Anyway, we were just screaming at each other about baggles.
And then I remember R.E. did a post.
We were fighting about it so much.
R.E. went on Twitter and did a poll, which baggle was better.
One, everything.
Uh, I think everything.
Of course they did.
And, and, and Sal in the middle of us arguing goes, he goes, do, do you think this could
be a podcast?
All right.
I was like, Chiching.
Yeah.
I peed a little bit.
I was like, yeah, I think so.
Like Louie said, I wanna, should I do your special?
Well, yes.
Here's me.
Here's what I wasn't accounting for in my excitement
that the fans would hate my guts for the first year.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh my God. As I watched him in
Decephano store, scoorn to the clouds together. And then, and then finally the fans were
like, the Rosas to hate you. Now I like you. And I was like, yeah, it takes a minute.
They did that with Lewis Gomez to a YKWD dude. Every week I had people go get him off. Bobby, I love the white, but I can't,
Joe and Dana awesome. Ken, I was like, Nope, can't do it. Can't do it. Go watch Lewis
a special, by the way, it's on YouTube right now. Very funny.
Uh, here's where I was going to say, it makes me mad. Anyway, that's how we start taste buds.
And then he was also talking to Chris about starting a podcast. So we said, so I said,
let's instead of doing them separately.
I wish Janice knew that.
Go ahead.
Hey, whoa.
Shot fired.
I think he did.
I'm kidding.
It was a joke.
Janice was at a wig store at the time.
Oh, stop.
That's it.
I got it.
No, I'm kidding too. But no, but I said, why are we going to do them separately? Let's put
them together. Let's like Wu Tang clan it and put these shows together on a YouTube
channel. Yeah. And try to make it like a network. Yeah. And that was it. And then me and
Chris were already friendly, but we got tight because of that.
Right.
But anyway, are you guys still in Staten Island
with everything?
No, no, we do it in the city.
Oh, you got a nice good deal.
It would again, by the way.
I fuck dude, let me tell you something.
I loved it.
It's great.
Yeah, please.
I, uh, oh wait, you just did it, right?
Didn't you just did it when I was,
you didn't you fill in when I was gone?
No, there was a year.
That was a year ago.
No, a year ago. Really. No, there was a year, that was a year ago. No. A year ago.
Really?
Well, maybe under a year, but not just recently.
Seasons went by.
No, we have a studio in the city now.
Yeah, well, I didn't stand island.
Okay.
And that was a while ago.
But, um, oh, this is what I started saying a while ago, makes me so mad I'll still think about this and get angry
When you did the Yankee swap episode and you told me to come down. Yeah
That list the whole time kept going. Well, what is he even doing here? Yeah, this is this is our thing
What does he do and I'm like mother fucker? I was here at the beginning. Yeah, I know
I don't know he just didn't know but yeah, it was making me really mad I'm like mother fucker. I was here at the beginning. Yeah, I know.
I don't know.
He just didn't know, but good.
Yeah.
It was making me really mad.
I love this, but it was taking so much.
He knows how to get under your skin.
He knows how to stay, and he'd be like,
oh, he's kidding.
I don't know.
He has no concept that he's saying,
I got mad at him once I met the Paramount Theater.
I was doing the Paramount.
Where's the Paramount again?
It's at Austin.
It's at Long Island, Huntington.
Oh, okay.
It's like an amazing theater.
It's like the best.
And I'm finally at the Paramount.
I'm from the brokerage to the Paramount.
And I put Dan and fucking Joe on the show.
And I go out there and I show up and he's like, oh, hey, what's going on? Your name's not even on the show. And I go out there and I show up and he's like,
oh, what's going on?
Your name's not even on the outside.
Didn't even put your name.
I'm like, dude, I'm at a fun, I brought you to a,
I snapped and they're in the green room,
like the main green room and they're sitting on the couches.
Like I walked in, they didn't even scopo,
Joe and Dan didn't even like get up when I walked in to like let me sit in my
green room. You know what I mean? And he just they just Joe just started fucking with me.
So I literally was like fuck my e-course again ego. I should be like who cares who
gives a fuck and I went to the other and I came back and he goes and he gave me
another zing about you know like people people showing up or you know and I went into the other and I came back and he goes and he gave me another zing about you know like, uh, people, people showing up or do you know?
And I went, who the fuck is that dude?
Fuck it's you know me, right?
Me and you're the same.
Well, you're the same fucking.
No, I'm not saying I'm not.
I say to all it's a dude.
I'm so bad.
Like shit has happened at the bar.
Oh, where I'm, I'll be with Paul before we have to handle something.
And I'm like, I'm gonna go to fucking there right foot.
And he's like, don't do that, don't do that,
don't do that, calm down, and he'll go,
Joe, I've been where you are right now.
Learn from my mistakes.
Don't go in there like that right now.
Just take a fucking breath.
And I'm like, it's funny,
because you see it, you recognize,
you see it in the other guy.
You know it, you smell it on a guy that's got it in him.
I have questions for you.
Are you ready?
What?
Why did you start doing this?
Oh my.
He go Joe. That's not ego. That's judgment. These are two Oh my. Ego Joe.
That's not Ego.
That's judgment.
Those are different things.
This is fans.
These are fans.
Oh, I thought you were doing like a.
No, these are fans.
This is a segment we like to call.
You know, okay, sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, okay, cool.
This is the fans.
Okay, cool.
Hello, Joe.
This is Blue.
Blue?
Yeah.
Hello.
Hello, Joe. playing Desert Island.
What three albums from the 80s?
Do you take what playing desert island?
Oh, I get it.
Go ahead.
What three albums?
I know.
Uh, well, I know one of them.
I know one of them is Frank Zappa.
Well, no, because his 80s albums aren't ones I would take with me. All right.
Uh, uh, rundium sea raising hell without question. Really? Yeah. That hold up. That's my favorite
at rap album of all time. It's one of my favorite album of all time. What every song on
it, name one Peter Piper. It's tricky. It's tricky. It's a good one. Yeah. That's one from the 80s.
I think a lot of what I like is from the 70s and then it's a big jump to the night. I'll just do all hip-hop albums.
That album, iced tea,
cop killer.
If power is from the 80s, I'll take power, but if it's not, I'll take Ryan Pay's.
And then, and then probably public enemy, nation of millions.
That's a good one.
Yeah, it's all rap, but I mean, it's my three choices of rap, but I can't.
I'm a lot of the bands I like.
Well, there's a motor head record,
I'm sure in there somewhere,
but I just can't remember which ones came out in the 80s.
Anyway, sorry.
That's good, that was a good one.
What is your favorite Joey Rose's sandwich?
Well, the local,
I love the local, to me, it never, it's a big seller, but to me, it never sounds that exciting when I describe it,
but it just works. It's turkey, roast beef, white American cheese mayo, tomato, onion,
hot cherry peppers, salt, pepper, oregano. And it's just, it's just an amazing sandwich.
It's a sandwich I used to get when I was a kid from a local pizza rear.
And I, and that's why they had a turkey roast beef hoagie.
And I did this version of it that's called the local because like, that's how I would
order that hoagie.
What's the condiment on it?
Tomatoes, onions, and hot cherry peppers.
There's no oil, there's no mayonnaise, there's no mayonnaise.
Oh, man, oh condominant, sorry, man.
Yeah, man, okay, so mayonnaise, that sounds good.
Uh, just hot cherry peppers against mayonnaise is like,
you're not, you're not a, um,
and don't, please don't take offense to this.
I don't know how to say it correctly.
You're not a giving sandwich owner operator. How do you mean?
like
the guy from
the cheese steak place
from
What's the one in filly? Pat no, Genos Genos. Geno used to just show up at the stress or ever ever, and with a bag of steak and cheese.
Yeah.
You've never just shot like, tonight,
you're coming on my part.
Hang on, let me finish.
Before you fucking, you're coming on,
it's like, it'd be like, wow.
It does the guy with the second most famous
cheese steak place on planet earth for 55 fucking years.
Oh, he shows up with three free steaks. So a bunch of comics will like him. Oh, he shows up with three free stakes.
So a bunch of comics will like him.
Oh, sorry, sorry that I'm sorry I'm not able to do that
in the first two years of my business.
You know what?
You cock suckers aren't giving fucking friends.
I'd like to see your asses down there
buying a sandwich supporting your buddy shop once in a while.
I bought it.
All right.
I bought my sandwich.
Remember? And I've given you sandwiches. You've never given me one. Yes,
I did. You gave that fucking cripple Keith one. Yeah, I gave you give me one. You know,
I paid twice. I gave you some dose. I paid. You know, you know, I've got a point here. That, that, that little prick at Gino's. I just
get it. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. I'm just saying, Scott, like me, he used to
show up at all my shows, never, never seen him again. Yeah. You know why? Cause you never
went to his place. I did. He took, I sat in the back. He took my, he put my picture
up on the thing. Well, you know, I don't know what to tell you, but yeah, I do think it's cool
that he shows up with sandwiches.
He does.
Yeah.
You can do that after your business.
This is a smash hit for 50 years.
Oh, you're talking about fucking roast beef and a turkey.
When I'm talking filet mignon, you could have showed up on the fucking local.
You could have said, Bobby, I brought you a sandwich.
Yeah. I mean, you could have showed up on the fucking local. You could have said, Bobby, I brought you a sandwich.
Yeah. So you want me aside from paying for Uber's round trip,
coming over here to do this.
I pay for you.
I pay for you.
Since when do you do that?
Tonight.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we pay.
Not if I hadn't said that.
100%.
And let's be honest.
I'll say it to everyone, are you fuckers?
All right, here we go.
Yeah, good. What a, this one. That was from Weems. Julia Kinlaw.
Great name. What are his favorite shoulder exercises?
Actually, I can tell you, it's the, I've been doing dips.
Yeah. And with the dumbbells, I don't do these enough, but this,
then you do that, whatever, that one. Okay. Cool. That's a good one
sloppy Joseph Are you excited for the show at the
Avonnell performing arts center and Avonnell, New Jersey on Saturday September 16th
Why why?
Yeah, it's a. I am. Why? You're laughing. Why?
Yeah, what's so funny?
What's funny?
Danny, what's funny?
It just, it very much feels,
the guy's name's sloppy.
It does look like you're asking yourself a question.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And then I'm plugging it.
Yeah, yeah.
That's funny.
Yeah, I am very excited about that show.
Please come out if you're
I'll be vlogging at the end.
Lewis.
So much.
No, has a special YouTube.
Go check it out.
Lewis, will you have a drumming competition with Bobby?
Yes.
I think you're a better drummer than me.
Well, I played like pretty seriously for a while.
I did not.
But I'm not.
I played on TV for a minute, but I would do it.
Yeah, I would do it.
Honestly, I haven't played in so long.
I couldn't even tell you like,
you're good.
I guess I'm right.
You're good.
I'm having a bad feeling.
I'm having a bad feeling.
You and Billy had a hit podcast.
You had a radio show.
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I tried to argue about bagels with the asshole. I can't argue that you would say, Oh, I don't fucking present.
I can't.
I would probably save you.
I don't think you would.
I think you'd run for your own life.
I would not.
I would fucking save you.
You know, I would actually think you would.
But yeah, I can't even argue that.
I'm an anxiety ridden panicky.
Yeah.
I also, I also don't judge him on how he's killing people
That's not what a serial killer does I also that knife is not a good knife to kill people
I'm not like one of these like see it through guys, so I definitely would be like I'm not running anymore
Just I'm not doing this just go. Yeah
You you'd you'd actually you'd argue him to not kill you.
I probably wouldn't even argue.
We were just doing it if you're gonna do it.
You'd be like, no, I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna just kill you.
I want you to not want to die.
Hey, all right.
Well, I'm not doing it.
So what do you wanna do now?
I guess leave and go find that used to be fat guy
that ran away.
All right, go look for him.
Okay.
I'm going home.
You really would annoy a serial killer
or how the fuck they kill it? Yeah. Oh, that's funny. brother. Um, wait, I had a story for the end, remember?
I'm going to tell you that right now, but I want you to get your plugs in real quick.
Uh, so, so I'm touring. This is one of the biggest, the biggest tour I've ever gone
on. And we're adding dates all the time. And I'm going into these new venues. I'm very
excited. But here we go. I got Avenue going into these new venues. I'm very excited.
But here we go.
I got Avenue New Jersey September 16th,
Avenue performing arts center,
Toronto, Ontario for JFL 21st through September 23rd.
I'll be at Skankfest, of course, in Las Vegas, New York.
Arlene's grocery, October 28th.
That's with my band's also windfall.
That's the only music show on the whole run. But that's going to be a lot of fun that show. I might come to that. That's with my band. So I'll also win fall. That's the only music show in the whole run
But that's going to be a lot of fun that show. I might come to that
That's going to be really fun man. That's a big Halloween bash. We got esoteric. Do I got a bite ticket? So are you?
I'm gonna you're gonna get me yeah, maybe okay. No, no, just come. I'll put you on the damn list. All right. Well, I mean, I got a bag
We got esoteric in 7L from Zarface coming down and it's, we'll see you in hell live. My hard podcast is doing a thing.
That's going to be a fun show.
Anyway, stand up shows November 11th, Philadelphia, a PA theater of the living arts.
It sounds cool.
Where's that?
On South Street.
Love it.
November 17th, Pittsburgh, PA, bottle rocket, social hall, Buffalo, New York on November 18th,
theater at Senate one, Denver, Colorado at the summit.
November 30th Phoenix, Arizona at the Crescent Ballroom December 1st and
December 3rd at the Soundwell and Salt Lake City.
We're adding shows all the time.
Who's looking these alternative venues?
My team.
What's that?
Like, you know, my manager Emilio has a has a really.
I'm a million.
He's great. He's got a wonderful crew of people and they I'm with I'm with them
I don't have an agency. They're my managers and they do everything and they're fucking awesome good
They're really great so so I'm excited man. I'm out great club in fucking Connecticut, dude
Oh, yeah, that club. My God that club is fucking great that club's great
And I'm doing my
new hour. I never promised you a Rose Garden. It's very themed. I'm very proud of it. It's
best thing I've ever written. So I hope you can come out and see it. People tickets at
jodaroza.com. I now, uh, and go to robbercowleylive.com for all my stuff. I'm going to be all over
the place. I got a tour coming up now to I'm going to be at Skankfest with him, Rutherford, New
Jersey, Phoenix, Arizona next week, I think Rochester, Madison, a comedy at state, the
best club ever.
One of them, I just had a reschedule, the Rhode Island comedy connection to January because
of the Dennis Larry comics come home thing, but I'm all over the place
Look at that asbury park I got pot pot's town PA everything boss and there you go. So
So check that out check out my dates and of course check out I want to hear the story
Yeah, well, let me hear the god plug guys quick go Marcus comedy, all social media. The cheese show on YouTube, at Danny Braff on Instagram.
You should go on the cheese show at Joe Russell.
Sure.
So what is the story at the end?
Tell me the story.
Well, we were talking about people that look out for you.
How much money means, right?
I don't think I've ever told the story on this podcast.
How much a little bit of money means in those formidable years and all that stuff
Do you remember when I was broke and I said can I bum a cigarette from you and then I said
Can I bum a second cigarette from you and you said do you not have money for cigarettes and I said no
Dude, who the fuck has money for cigarettes and you pulled pulled me down the stairs, not pulled me,
but took me down the stairs.
At the comedy seller, then you gave me $60.
And you said, take this, get some smokes,
have some food money.
Yeah.
Da da da da da.
Yeah.
Met the fucking world to me, dude.
Met the world to me.
Yeah. And I guess it was either later that year or whatever, Yeah, meant the fucking world to me, dude, meant the world to me.
And I guess it was either later that year or whatever at Chris,
the Steinberg's Christmas party.
I pulled you aside and I said, I have something for you.
And I tried to give you $60 because I was finally making some money.
And you said, no, you give that to somebody else. Yeah.
And you didn't take it.
Yeah.
And then a year after that, I was standing in front of,
standing up New York with Dan Soder,
and Soder didn't have money for cigarettes.
And I gave him 40 bucks, and I said,
get some cigarettes and whatever else you need.
Okay.
And then he later said, I want to pay you back,
and I said, no, no, no, you pass it along,
and I told him the story, you doing that for me.
So.
There you go.
See what you did?
Yeah, thank you, brother.
Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.
Do you remember that time you brought me
one of the sandwiches from your shop?
You ruined everything.
I know.
You know what I fucking love this,
so I do remember that now.
I do remember that.
And did Dan soda, we got a fun
at the Dan ever do that to somebody else?
No. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I really regret giving him that buddy. Buddy, I love you so much. Love you, buddy. Thanks for coming on.
Yeah, anytime.
And this has been a great episode, man.
I forgot to love it.
There's been another episode.
I hope you liked it.
If you liked it, just hit the subscribe button.
Stop fucking around.
Don't watch all the way to now and not hit subscribe.
That makes you a loser and hit the like button.
Comment.
And if you guys want to see somebody else on the show, makes you a loser and hit the like button, comment.
And if you guys want to see somebody else on the show,
let us know.
But I hope you like the show.
We'll see you guys next week on You Know What, The Podcast.
You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.
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