Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe DeRosa, Mark Normand and Tommy Pope | Live From Skankfest 2023

Episode Date: October 22, 2023

Live from Skankfest! Bobby is joined by Joe DeRosa, Mark Normand, and Tommy Pope, they talk about their time in Vegas, DeRosa talks about hooking up with a trans woman the first day of Skankfest, and Joe and Tommy play a game from Joe's childhood. This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Visit BetterHelp.com/DUDE today to get 10% off your first month! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Porque a diferencia de otros, activia ha demostrado que sus millones de acom. I was going to the gym late at night after spots and I'd lost some weight and I was walking home with like a wife, Peter, on, I was kind of feeling good, you know, and I saw this trans girl, there was a trans bar over there and she stopped, like, way down, she stopped and I saw her look at me and I was walking, like, here comes my compliment, right? And as I walked up, she's damn daddy you fat yeah baby we're

starting the podcast right now we're back you know what to live welcome everybody to the show I started the social media podcast Why can't WWE do podcasts? Why can't WWE do these back again? Home school, back in the day. We're all starting before them all. Why can't I do these podcasts? Podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up! You're ruining this!

Rapperball grandma. I'm sorry. It's not getting podcasted. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original original. Jackson Park and Dunn. Is there any better show?

This is the original original. This is the original. Woo! What's up, fuckers? Woo! And now what, Dan? Give it up for everybody. Tommy, Mark, and Joey.

Come on, give it up for him. Woo! Woo! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Amy. Thank you, Amy Chills. That was the biggest reception at Skankfest so far. That was the Tommy. No. Well, it was good though. It was fucking amazing. I always fear that we're gonna come out here and there's gonna be like four dudes that look like me and one woman that looks like you.

I gotta be honest, I didn't know you had this in you. Congratulations. You thought it was gonna be empty? Yep. We thought it was gonna be empty. These carcass couldn't get in the skanks. That's why they're here. Fucking Abrosan is right next door.

You fucking assholes. We've seen it. Yeah. Seen what? It's got a whole flat earth Ted talk. So we hear I mean look at man, let's just... I got a present for you. For me? Yeah. What is it?

I got a fucking gift man. Another tranny? For me? Yeah, what is it? I got a fucking gift man another tranny Bring her out bring her out bring her out Trance woman. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I got you guys are in love. I got a I gift Cuz I love you so much, man. I'm so proud of you. I really am. I'm so fucking proud of you. I know this is gonna be a t-shirt with an insult. No, it's not. It's a fucking... Okay. It's letting people know what the fuck.

Just pull, hold it up. You're gonna, this is for back when you get to New York. So you can work again. Ha-ha-ha. Joe's not gay. Joe's not gay. Joe's not gay. Joe's not gay, Joe's not gay. Yes, I am a little bit at least.

I'm going to wear this shirt ironically too. Come on. That's a bigger lie than Hassan Manage. Can you please just pull it off right now? Come on. For the branding, you know what I mean? What is this? He's got to go in the other room because he can't take a shirt off

here. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I got you, press. Oh, shit. Well, it's weird, dude. Listen. Yeah. Because I can't... This is a thing that's been happening for years. If you listen to YKWD, back in the day when I did it at my house, before any U-Cock Suckers hat podcast, it was me and Joe, and we did it in my kitchen, and I brought Bailey J, who is a, I mean a smoke and hot

transactual, and she came to my house. I actually got in touch with her husband, and they came to my house, and I told Joe that I told Joe that I'm having this, uh, Bailey J over. He came over, he got dressed up. I'm not kidding. He wore fucking shoes The vest did you have a vest? Oh, he had a vest He wouldn't nobody will like like shiny Oh, wow

She came fucking he looked like an English detective And he came dressed up. I was so excited. I was so excited. I was so excited to meet her. And I knew she was having drinks. And I was like, we're going to get drunk. I'm going to suck her dick.

And then as soon as I walked in, you go, hey, did it, Belly J. And this is her husband. And you took such joy in the reveal that she was married and I couldn't try to hook up with her. Because your disappointment was so pure. He went, what the fuck? You didn't think they could get married. Because you were against that. I was... None of my wife, my wife, made sausage soup.

Yes. A fucking... That is funny. Fucking bitch, really. Yeah, but then... And then Nord came over. And then Nord came over. To Sour Cream.

Then Nord came over and she fucking loved Nord and that bothered you too. Oh, it did. He really stole that fucking sexy She-mail right away from you. I know and it was back when Norton actually looked like a nut sack. Yeah We got you had the same feeling when you're in a club and all the open micos were on you, but then Billy walks in But it's weird to me, dude because you been this is like the is like the, yes, and when I saw you like I did it I finally did it you like Rudy. I did it. I finally Fucking grabbed the dick. Oh, Chris and the ice yeah, oh Chris said

That's the first time I got a dick. That's the first time I've essentially grabbed a dick. I don't know what that meant what? I've touched almost every guy friends of mine's dick as a joke. I grabbed Ari's dick so many times. Ari's dick doesn't count. I grabbed Ari's dick so many times. We were barhut crawling one day in the summer. I grabbed his dick so many times that I offended Ari. That's fucking animal.

By like the third bar he goes, dude, seriously, that's enough. Stop. Wow. You reversed Kobe, didn't you? Yeah. I was like, I'm going to get me, too. And it's going to be my shuffeeer. Oh, geez.

Thank you. Have you put Tommy? Because you have some Philly. He's from Philly. But it's two different guys, right? I have sex with a chance. Oh, you had sex with Shane. By accident. Really? By accident. Oh, you had sex with shame.

By accident. Really? By accident. Truly. Really? Yeah. Who did who? Well, I did.

You were the top? Yeah. Yeah, you just fucked a retarded boy. When he comes, did he go like this? But I fucking did. Dude. Be coming out. I'm woke.

I'm one of them. I am. You've touched your friends' cons? No, I had sex with a work. I'm sorry. What the fuck is happening? All my friends' again. I would have been gay two years ago.

Dude, it's cool. Tommy tried so hard to act like he has class in public because he's still has the dream of landing a progressive commercial I'm gonna Steer into who you are you I'm gonna grab your dick Every time you pass grab it right now fucking Jesus Let's take it a step further. Is this a row show? No, it's not a row show. There's a gay podcast Fuck it's going on. I just don't see you Is this a row show? Is that a row show? This is a gay podcast. Oh, real? A podcast.

Fuck, it's going on. I do really, I just don't see you. I don't see you as a guy. What was, I came off a show. This girl, a beautiful woman. Girl? For the story? OK, was it, OK.

Visually, a beautiful woman walks across the street, came out of Helium. I was like 2.30 in the morning. She's like, hey, you have a light and I was like, what? Like, that's weird. And I was like, you work it. She's like, yes. And I was like, I don't have anywhere to go. And she says, I do.

We went to, for some reason, an open dirty bookstore. But Jess not. What do you think she owned it? I love the only thing that could good you into a bookstore is swinging, dinging. DUDE! JOW! JOW! JOW! JOW! No, there was,, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. No, there was, and then, hold on.

You excellently accent bugged me, hold the horn. We went to this store and then the back, it was backlit, and there was the security guard. Yeah. It was like, this is fucking strange. And they had little dirty booths where you like, you go to like a jerk-off booth, you throw a dollar in, whack-off,, you throw a dollar in, whack off,

and took this beautiful woman into the booth, and I go to put dollars in. This machine's not working. I had a quarter on me. It's where I got. Through quarters in, you could hear it rattle down the fucking drywall, fake. It's all fake, and it's dark. So, we started doing stuff.

Whoa, wait a minute. I wasn't prepared to tell this story. I mean, you had it, was there a thing? Was there a wall, a piece of glass? No, it's a fucking, it's a booth. You were in the booth with her? I'm in the booth with. She came in with you.

Yes. And she was right there. Well, she's, she's having fun. She's having fun on you. I want to have fun. Was it a head? I look. Yeah.

Oh, nice. But. Do you got head from her? Yes. Did you touch her winging? I didn't listen stop. You knew I love I did it That's the point. Yeah, you did I did not know look at me in the eyes Look at me the eyes. I'll fucking look at me. I don't look away You want to look on this? I don't want to bet stop. Are you getting one of that fucking money? Listen? No?

I'll put fucking 10 grand my at my eyes and my eyes and go you're so blind. So stop talking, you fucking talking. That's a sign of guilt. Look at my, don't talk to me. You touched the dick. You touched the dick. Look at my, look at me.

Do you know how I'm talking? Stop talking, just stop. Relax. Look at me. Don't take a drink. Fucking no. Put that down, dry mouth. Look at me. The eagle a drink fucking up. Put that down dry mouth look at me. He goes one and over time

Trying to fucking make you go that way News Tommy she's here Come on in Tony Hinch glib walks I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. It was it was dark. Yeah, yeah, we're having fun doing yeah

She a calluses on a hand doing her day job as a I felt a something Bug the fuck out what you felt what what she turned around She wow I really love the way you tell stories We I wish I didn't do this at all. So they turned around and you fucking reached in the shaman. They? Oh, you're...

Yeah, they damn. Yeah, fuck you. I'm like in canceled. Yeah. No, you two queers. Yeah. So you grabbed, there was a little sack or something. Nah, I found a swipe.

You swiped it? You licked it? I found a swipe. You licked it? No. Oh, you felt a swipe. What's a swipe? Swip. You hear that?

Somebody mech a little bit, come hit you in the eye. That's right. Got some gay. I wanted to come out right now. That's great. That's great. That's great. So you did it. If I mark, you've never done it.

Wait, are we talking trans? Yeah. I got blown by my car. Let's go! Let's go! They're sneaky. You know fucking now. They're sneaky.

They're fucking sneaky. And they're beautiful these days. Well, I'm thinking like they're trolls. They're not sneaky. What the? They're girls That have this can this is I'm not gonna be fucking shamed from They're not trolls, but sometimes the pronouns is like a riddle. I can't figure it out

But yeah, I was in Mexico. I was in college. Oh, I like this too. You're good. How's it going, dude? Oh, thanks. She heard in Mexico. It's a lot. But yeah, I was in Mexico for a... What the fuck are you doing? Sorry to keep you in the house. Yeah, so all my friends were hooking up with hookers. And I was like, I was too nervous.

And that's boring. Yeah. And I said, fuck it. I'm doing it the last night. But I'm just going to get a BJ. Went to a bar. The girl said, uh, five bucks. And I said, all right.

And of course, the room is five. She's got a fee. So I had to pay in 20. But I'm getting ahead. Great at it. I grab a boob rock hard Rock hard tit. I was like that's weird. I put my hand on her head the fucking the whole hair moved and Yamaha slit and then I

the burger and Then I came and I walked out feeling pretty good and all my friends were like were you in there? And I was like yeah, and they all died laughing. And that was it. It was a quiet eight-hour car ride home. So you never saw the penis? No, no. You used to zoomed.

Just the Adam's apple and the beard. But it was a trans bar, I guess. Oh, you went to a trans bar. I didn't know. So all your friends did, too, right? No, they were at other straight lady bars. Oh, so you were like, fuck that. I'm gonna go to the gay bar.

I didn't know it's in Spanish. It said, trans though. I, that couldn't, how could I know? I'm gonna get you that shirt. Trans though. The worst magician of all time. Trans though. I'll make your dick fall off. Do you remember when we went you me and Pete Corielli went to a we went to an

after-ar we're in the city and we were hanging out and we went to that drag bar. I guess I got a story too. I didn't know you there. You're the gayest one in this battle. No, well, I'm gonna tell the pain. I fucked a real guy, fucking losers. No, we went to the Strague, you're an angry bar. I was the mages. I'm in the mines. I said the guy's getting a little supposing. Sorry.

No, we went to this, it was late night. We went to the Strague, and I went just because I wanted to go to the bar. That's why it's called, in New York, there was on the 11th Ave, way west side, there was this 24 hour diner, market diner that was connected to a Gmail disco tech. So we'd all go to the diner every night and to be smoking hot females to say daddy while you're eating a turkey club just shaking and Me and Coriella used to be like we got to go there one night one night We're downstairs at late at night down at the bag it in and yeah We all went we went like fucking will go it like musted up the courage to go and we went to the bar

We went down. Right. And Corielli's fucking good looking. Yeah. Do you remember what I was getting to? Do you remember what he said? Yeah. He said the funniest thing ever. It was the greatest line ever.

He goes, do you want to say it or can I say it? No, you say it. He goes, we're like, that's the guy, we're in there. We're in a fight. You gotta wait though. This girl in a fucking smoking hot pot or weekend woman. Yeah. Mesh dress, mesh, mesh, not the none at little patch over her stomach. We see her walk from one side of the room over to Coriella who's drinking and smoking and we're like, everybody's like, what the fuck?

Walks over to him, talks to him, and then he walks over to us and says, You say the likes, I think he walks over to us and says, You say the lines, I think I'm gonna fuck it up and I've built it up too much now. He goes, I gotta get the fuck outta here. I'm like, why? Because if I don't leave now, I'm gonna suck his dick. And he fucking left. And me and Joe stay fucking suckin' son. Now you get it!

Why the fuck are you bust of my balls? No joke, Corioli looked like fucking Ted Danson cheers years back then. He was fucking gorgeous. I mean, whoops, good looking. Good looking. I actually, I'm one of my skinnies when I was losing weight. All right.

I was going to the gym late at night after spots. And I'd lost some weight. And I was walking home with like a wife, Peter on. I was kind of feeling gym late at night after spots, and I'd lost some weight, and I was walking home with like a wife, Peter, on. I was kind of feeling good, you know? And I saw this trans girl, there was a trans bar over there, and she stopped, like, way down, she stopped, and I saw her look at me, and I was walking,

like, here comes my compliment, right? And as I walked up, she's like, damn, daddy, you fat! Ah! And as I walked up, she's like, damn daddy, you fat. Nah. And I went home. I went home. I was so hurt. That's how you know it's a dream. I had a smile because I was like, here's the comment.

And I walked by, I was like, I'm trying. Nah. And I went home and I woke my wife up and I'm like, honey, I just got rejected. This trans girl just called me fat. She's like, what? I'm like, this Gmail is like, your fat, she goes, it's a guy. The fuck is wrong with you.

Ha. Instance, still the same. Ha. It did hurt. Let me ask you a question. When you grab the penis, right? Yes. Was it bigger than your penis?

Leaks above my dick. Really? I like that. I think if I did it, I would want my dick. You know what I mean? Right. Right. I'm like a five and a half incher.

That was kind of an interesting thing, like, because I was like, oh, I'm actually like handling a dick that's not mine. But in the way that I've handled my own dick. Oh. But I'm like, but it's a different dick. It's a different measurement to work with here. You know what I mean?

Right, yeah. You ever drive an old truck and you're like, it handles. It handles different. It handles different. Yeah. It doesn't find neutral. Yeah. I'm used to play.

And start breaking early in this thing. Yes, it is. It's in a new car. You got to use it on the break. Yeah, you're doing it. And at the end, you get that tranny fluid. Let's go! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I mean, dudes are sniper. You never grabbed another man's dick. I didn't grab the dude's. I've never grabbed another man's dick. You're answering a question. Can you not sit like that? I've never once touched a dog. Come on, dude. My dick's inside. You mean like I got to get a fluff if you got to grab it. I was terrible. I got to be honest, though.

Dude, Tommy, you got to do this to Bobby. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he just let him do this. It's gonna be funny. No, Tommy was doing a thing to me. We're in the green room at the stand. And he kept asking me to do his podcast. But the joke was he was whispering it into my ear. He'd come over and really close himself here. He's like, you want to do my fucking thing? And I go, Tommy, you gotta stop doing that

because it was giving me chills. That's nice. Yeah, but Tommy, it's nice. Just let him do it. You know what that was? It's it's about you too much of a man This is really you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna have some not cuz I think I'm attracted to Tommy Let him do this. You're gonna have questions about yourself. I invest my time in being emotionally available for man It's a hover or conversation if you want to say something you mean, get fucking emotional.

What do you talk, what do you mean? I do. Bob. I have a podcast today. I do, I do. I do. I'll do whatever you want, Tom. It feels good to do it.

It really smells like a man. I know. What do you with? What do you with? Have to shave? No, I wear the fucking Johnny Depp colon. You with Savage? Yeah. Because that's how to get back to being straight.

Good. And women. I got to tell you right now. How? She's a woman. Yeah, he's a fucking... It is the core values of this festival. Yeah.

So I did... mean to add that. It's weird to me because I grew up in Boston. And you have to talk like this. Talk like this. What? You see the Patriots game? Anybody got a score? We're going to do this.

Yeah, do you see your city get fucking loaded? I fucking love that. You love it? I love that. Why do you love that? Keep shooting your toes, Bob. Keep shooting your toes? Yeah.

What the fuck are you talking about? I'm drunk. It's a fucking, your city is far apart. City sucks. You're a fucking team. God. I'm so sorry. What are you guys talking about? Yeah. City sucks. You're seeing some teams. Yeah, fuck it. Team God So sorry. What are you guys talking about? Yeah, he brought up sports

Yeah, you guys don't know anything about that I'd like to go into the locker room though Sure, you're not gonna go full gay, right? I don't know really I love yeah, do the back half gay. Yeah, I don't know! Really? I was like, well, yeah, do the back half gay. Yeah. I don't think so, but a penis on a woman, I'm into it. A penis on a dude, I'm not into it. I can't explain what the... It's the femininity.

Yeah. I get it. It's something different about it. I don't know, you know. Yeah, I got that. No fan study. The guy is attitude. We have shitty tone. Women have nice tone. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like Tommy, like, dude, let me suck your dick. It's like, I love how you're comparing your tone to my tone. We, I mean, I have the same fucking tone. I have shitty. We're two dogs, we're two dogs, we're two dogs barking in the mirror. I know. We both have shitty. That's where we'll never be good together. You know what? You're fucking... I mean, I changed my tone if you wanted me to.

You want to do my body? I do, I do, I do. Oh, dude. It kind of stung you, like a drug. You feel... You feel as beard on your earlobe? Oh, fuck, I want a dad. I want a dad.

I want a dad. I want a dad. I want a dad so bad. I don't know if I could go full. I don't think I could go full. I want to say this though, out of anybody at this festival, you're doing it right. I mean, you're doing fucking drugs. You're drinking. You're fucking.

You're jerk enough, guys. You're getting your you're fucking, you're jerk enough guys, you're getting your dicks up. You're jerk enough female guys. It is important to me. It's important now because you're part of their community. Also, too. Nicole is awesome. Nicole was the woman and she's so great.

She's got a great sense of humor though. She's so great. She was at the bonfire She's so great. She's a she's what's that the girl? Yeah, she's here was I mean she's not happened on Legion of Skanks way. He did it on the podcast. What? Changes the game that you didn't know about anything. I thought you went to like a whore house. No, no, no, no No, he was up in that room up there. Bring out the whore. What? Yeah.

Here's the scenario real quick. We were doing the podcast, women that wanted to compete to be the next ring girl came on stage. Louis said, what are your talents? Nicole, who I met last year, I'd recognize her, we waved. And Nicole said, I can suck my own dick if it's hard. So the other girls started grabbing her dick and she's like, it's not happening with a chick.

Yeah. I'm into dudes. And she and I were kind of talking, maybe flirting a little bit. So then they said, Deroza, you guys seem to have a connection. Would you go into a private area and see if you can get her get her up? Whoa, and I said, you know eventually I said yeah, let's do it eventually Hey, yes I couldn't stand up that fast, because I already had a hard on it. That's the table flips over.

Yeah. Throwin' drinks. Now, eventually, only meaning because I was making sure, like, okay, it's private, I'm definitely not gonna do it like on the air. Yeah. And then also too, what was the other thing? They were throwing a lot of,

I remember Jay was like, you gotta do this, you gotta do this, you gotta, and I was like, Jay, I'm about to walk through a very big door right now, let me just do it at my own pace, please. That's been open for a long time. I'm about to walk through a very big back door. A very small brown door. So, but yeah, it was at the festival.

Oh, wow. Yeah. I had no idea. Is she around? Can I meet her? She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. She's here. Are there any other trans girls here? There's definitely other trans women here. I heard a woo. 100%. I don't know about it in the room, but at the festival, 100%. Oh, yeah.

That's why I love this festival. It's progressive. You know, it's. Yeah, no, you can get blown. Oh, right, all right. All right. Skankfests. Skankfests.

Skankfests is weirdly progressive. But it's 100%. That's what this festival is awesome. It's everybody comes here. Yeah. It's not, we don't give a, we make fun of everybody, but everybody comes here, which is awesome. Very good, not this panel, but everything else.

Very impressive. Me and Sam Tripoli, we're walking in, and two black dudes rode up on a bike, and on bicycles, and I swear to God the guy goes, he goes, hey man, you're going up to that skank fest? And I go, yeah, and he goes, can I ask you a question? I go, yeah, he goes, is all the audience cousins? Because y'all look like y'all fuck in your families.

This whole front row looks related. And it looks like the evolution of this guy. That's where it went, he dropped it in. He said, because all those ends, and he goes, excuse me, crackers. It was so funny. It was so funny. A good comedian can get away with a lot of things, but losing sleep isn't one of them. We got to be well-rested to be funny. That's why I'm a big fan of the folks at Ghostbed.

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Fluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por uno en mediana, es alo mis sirios solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por uno. ¡No, no, no! ¡Dominos!

¡Pizza! ¡Es muy bien! ¡Pierreo! Porque lo que estoy diciendo antes, me ha grown up, si te hagas algo de esto, Pizza. I, it is progressive, and it's weird that, because I'm saying before, like at me growing up, if you did any of this shit, you were fucking, you were made fun of, you beat up, and people who say we haven't made fucking progress, but the fact that this festival, with the funniest, meanest comics in the world, that make fun of everybody, and we make fun of each other all the time, you went and did some crazy crazy shit and we love it. It's the best

and you don't even give a fuck. No, what I would like. I love it. I love it. You're, he's the MVP of the festival. You're going to strip clubs. You're going to strip clubs. Get out of these clubs. You're doing good. Me and Ari went and got fucking multiple soup last night. You suck.

You look for a hike in the fucking desert today. You suck in dick. You're getting your dick sucked. You hanging out with strippers. You fucking get trash. I didn't suck any dick. I didn't suck any dick. Whatever, the story's going to change.

The story will change by the time we get back to New York. We got one more night, baby. Yeah, sucks Joe, sucks, I'm think. When I lived in Austin, Texas in 2000, because I went down there before any of these fucking assholes moved to Austin. I was in Austin. My agent used to make fun of me because I would go, I want to move to Austin. Yeah, but you did it before Joe Rogan did.

I know. He was like, wait before Joe Rogan did. I know. He was like wait till Joe Rogan moves down. It's awesome that they're all down there. I'm just joking. Anyway. Well, he saw that just again. Well, you got to make sure you don't end up with a terrible show.

He's texting Joe right now. You're fucking. I'm going to get the fuck down. And you played his club. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. You get the bus here. Put the phone down. Have you played his club? It's great. It's great. Sorry, it's not for this shunzass, it's great.

We get it. Tell the story. Anyway, so you on the phone? Put your phone down, you fucking b****. Sorry, sorry. What do you, a 12-year-old girl? The call's texting. Oh, oh, so when I lived in Austin, 2000,

a really hot black woman came up to me, much like your story. It was like end of the night. I was leaving a bar. I was hammered. And she's like, hey, baby, can you give me a ride? And I go, yeah, I guess so. I was getting a cab. We in the cab.

We're in the back seat. She's grabbed my leg. She's going, I want to suck your dick. I want to suck your dick. And as I'm talking to him, like this, and she wasn't a trans woman, she was a man in drag. But like, wait a minute, wait a minute. This is saying fucking thick. Wait a minute, no, it's not the same thing.

One is trying, and one's not. Yeah. Yeah, one. Yo, yo, one's hung over. You give me a ride, bitch. I mean, that's different. A dude in drag is just a hungover trainee. Dude, it's like fucking.

God, dude. Let's put the wig on. There's a difference between you and me. Chasing Morgan going, I want to suck that dick. That was pretty good. That was a tan. That was pretty good. That was 2000.

That is before I identify. I identify that. That's gay. No, it was but but there was a difference where they'd be like that's like because now a a pre-op person could dress and drag and say no I am a woman that's how I identify that wasn't a thing in 2000 was like no that's an actual trans person that's a person in drag that's this that's that they had all the anyway does matter I realize maybe she did whatever,

but I realized, I was like, I can't, I'm not ready. You opened up to a... I'm not ready. No, that's crazy. Give me a wee. Bitch, that's that sucky dick. I'm not your therapist, motherfucker. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready to do it, the fuck it. It's a waste. She had a funny thing, she did it at the end of the day. I said not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready really sweet. She held a nice piece from it. She said, yeah. And then as she walked into the sunset, she turned around and said, when you're ready, a dick will be waiting for you. She walks into the sunset, just beat off on her hand. And she stole your phones.

You never hooked up with a guy, Bob? Uh, nah, I jerked off my friend back in the day. Oh, really? Yeah, that's a known opian Anthony story. Back in the day, you know, but when I was a human, you're a kid when you don't even know what a dick is. You know what I mean when you're a human? No, you know. Yeah. Ah.

Nah. You look like you know. You look like a circle jerk thing. Oh, wow. And why am I getting more Italian when I'm trying? Nah, you know, all the time. You look in the circle jerk thing. You know what I mean? Oh, wow.

And why am I getting more Italian when I'm trying? Nah, you know, all the fucking, you grab your friends hog and you fucking, yeah. I'll put shit to the gg. You know what I mean? We used to do the jerk off in the same room. You guys put the porn on. I did that thing.

Were you jerk off? There's one guy playing the guitar. The other guy has a flute. Oh, damn. You watch an ET in the background, just jerking each other off. Wait, you would sit with your guy friends and say, all you got your decks out.

Now, you got like a blanket going. And that wasn't, I'm not saying it's weird, I'm just saying, but you didn't feel like, this is a little, I would be able to get my deck out. What'd you say? You could get it up. I don't fit show.

You're getting it up, I'm with you. You had at least friends while. It's crazy. I hear so many friends say like stories and like just hanging out with their buddies just beating off. Yeah. And it's the same, no.

It's crazy. No, you didn't get 30s, you fucking weird out. We did it when we did that. Essentially it's overdoing right now. We're just beating we did it. Essentially what we're doing right now, we're just beating each other all. Well no, back when you're a kid, it's very normal when you don't know what sex is. No, it's not, dude.

It's a honor of this thing. The story's a hero. Raise your hand if you fucking did a circle jerk back in the day. Oh, fuck. Hey, my God. What? Fuck you.

We got one, too. You fucking jerk, your friend off yesterday. There's no way you didn't touch your friend's dick dude. Stand up and turn around. Yeah, you have. That's a hot, you have. Yeah, you have. Well, how this, we're gonna all be it tonight. It's gonna happen tonight.

Yeah. Yeah, there you go. We're gonna shave that beard? It's one of my favorite, one of my favorite ever Dennis Miller jokes. He's gonna joke where he goes, he goes, Izzy Strattlin kicked out a guns and roses. People, what in the fuck do you have to do

to get kicked out a guns and fucking roses? And he goes, hey guys, let's take a pause on the circle jerk. We gotta throw the vote in on Issy. So funny. Oh, when you're a kid, before you know what sex is, you're fucking wind up playing with your dingo links. I used to play a game with my friend called ding dong. Uh-oh. So I love you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I I love you so much. I love that he's slowly letting it all out.

Look at he's leaving because he jerks somebody off. He's uncomfortable. He's running to the bathroom. He's running back to the room. What's Ding Dong? So Ding Dong is me and my buddy would play it. We were about six. One of us would lay on the couch.

The other one would walk up and go ding dong like he was ringing the doorbell. You'd get off the couch, you'd answer the door, you'd go, hi, you're my date, and then we would both lay on the couch together. This is the gay story yet. This is way gayer than the trans. This is the gay thing I remember heard. I can say I had sex with- You could do a little trade section. This is so gay. You could swap it up. I wanna give you a sec. You guys molested each other. You're molested by a six-year-old.

You're role-playing with a 13-year-old f- Shortstop. We never talk each other. We just held each other but with full boners. What the f- Dude! We got 13-year-old fucking short stuff. That's a terrific. We never talk each other. We just held each other, but with full boners. What the fuck? It's game dance. I didn't say it wasn't.

Oh my God. What is this? The play rent? Dude, that is... I told that joke. That's a big dog. You're acting shit out. I'm the next gang best we're gonna do that next year we're playing ding dong on stage The ding dong tent Wait, why do we gotta wait till next year? Why don't we do it right now good?

The other way I'm getting hard is you bring the colon here. Hell yeah. I told that on Carson Daily. I didn't stand up on Carson Daily, and I told a joke about the gay dog. Split bragging. Yeah. How bad was Carson Daily, do you bomb?

Second time I struggled. Probably because of that story. First time I did really well though. I bombed, the first time I was on, I bombed so bad. And the second time I was on, I bombed in front of the bacon brothers, which sucked. Kevin? Yeah, Kevin and his dumb brother.

Oh, shit. And I remember, the first time I bombed, I was bombed, it's so bad. I had a cordless microphone, and I kept going like this. Because. I had a cordless microphone and I kept going like this because She loves your friends Because you know When you're on stage and you have the mic, you know any time I was there

Yeah, I have the mic but it was a cordless mic so I just kept doing this So I got off stage and my agent was like, what the fuck was this? I was like, I don't know, it was nervous, I was bombing. And then we went to the cellar, and we were watching it, it was on TV, they were all like, you know, I was, oh, it bobbing's on. And I was like, fuck! Oh, no. But they had the volume off. And I was next to Steve Burns, and I was watching it, and the closed caption guy on the first choke wrote light laughter

Seems like you bomb, huh? That's an album title right there That's great Like closed caption guys like this guy stinks. That's a nice t-shirt from me. Oh, fuck me Stinks. That's a nice t-shirt from me. Oh, fuck me. The second time I was on, I'm not kidding. Fiona Apple, would she put out the second album? She was hot.

She put out that second album. She disappeared. It might have been the third album. But she disappeared for like two fucking years. Yeah. It was like the queen of my emotions that I'm depressed and all that shit. I went on carcin' though. They go,

we're doing a double episode with Fiona Apple to announce her comeback in her new album where she's gonna talk about all she's been through emotionally and then we're just gonna tape your set. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? So it was Fiona Apple's audience and then I went out and I was like, God, I played a huge phone game with my friend when I was six.

And I'd show it suck because it was more about the music. So he was such an MTV guy, I know these fucking obscure bands on, you know, the fucking Ding Dong Twins. And the whole fan would show up for that band. And then they'd have no warm up. He'd do a long form interview with an actor that just, you know, those are fucking fun. And then they'd have no warm up. He'd do a long form interview with an actor that just, you know, those are fucking fun. And then they'd just bring you out.

Nothing, no warm up. And you'd have to come out and do standout. Oh. And they'd just look at it and you're like, we did what the fuck is happening. Yeah. Shocking. Where is he now?

He's gonna be playing here in a year. He's on the morning show. Yeah, he's does morning. He does mornings. Oh, he does. He replaced a, who was the guy with the remote control? That lower. I think he might have replaced l who was the guy with the remote control? Man, lower. I think he made a replaced lower.

Whoa. He's on one of those shows. Don't you miss those days where they were fucking just men locking doors? You. You. Remember that? Remember the Kennedy days where they just

was fucking and kill you. Girls, you missed that, right? Hey, I got This fucking kill you. Right. Right. Girls, you missed that, right? Yeah, you got this guy holding your head. Stop touching each other, would you? Aww. Look at that, holes. Look how high that guy is. Holy shit.

But that guy. Yeah, well, you are high. You're so high. You're a lady's Asian. Your eyes look like hers. I thought Joe said hot. He bad. Easy big fella.

Have you ever bombed on TV? He's never been on TV. No, have you been on TV? I don't know enough opportunity. What? Maybe one day Bob. I'm Bob and right now. Bob and right now.

No. Mark, have you ever bombed on TV? Oh yeah, I mean, I did the tonight show during COVID, so I did it on the Staten Island ferry and man did I die. I mean, you know, the winds in your face and you're performing for like the crew. And they all hate you as much of MOOCs from Staten Island. Right.

So they're like, who the fuck's this? Give us a bastion. We're the Joker's. Yeah. A mall on the wall of the... A mall on the wall of the... Yeah. The wind is crazy.

Yeah. Exactly. So I died and that went on air. That televised. It was bad. Why wasn't on the ferry? Because you couldn't go indoors. So they died and that that went on air. That that televised. It was why was it on the ferry? Because you couldn't go indoors. So they're like, what if you do it here? And I was like, that sounds great. The worst part is you're bombed and you're on a boat. There was no way to go. Yes.

My favorite television bomb to watch was the Colin Quinn. That's performing front of the water. Special. There are no. One after the next just going down in flames. Because during COVID was such desperate assholes to get our accolades like us. So they did this driving, not even a driving, I guess,

whatever it is in Brooklyn, where everybody had to stay in their cars. The audience was in their cars. So if the joke worked, you got a horn. If they really like windshield wipers, that was like the applause break. Right. The windshield wipers.

But the thing is, they started during the day. So here you are, and your backdrop was the Manhattan Fuck you, wow, skyline. I forgot. So people were just like looking at boats going by, well Rachel Feinstein was just up there going, how about now? Yeah.

I forgot about that. Yeah, it was a bad one. Keith took the hot one. Yeah, it was hot. I was waiting for you guys to start jumping into the fucking river during the show. That was rough. I felt bad for Chris DeSteavano because who was hosting?

Vos. Oh Vos. And Chris threw Vos under the bus on the radio. Oh, Chris did? Chris went on the thing and they were like, yeah, they were kind of a rough set. He goes, well, fucking Vos, he threw Vos right under the bus. Yeah, no.

Vos was hosting. Vos was hosting. And he, what are you doing? He did something. He fucked them on the, Talked with a slur. What's that, buddy? He told them to stop honking. Drop them off.

Oh, he's the one who told them to do that. Yeah. And then there was a boat coming by when Chris was on stage. Yeah. That was going, Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on that boat doing a set. I think the best story I've heard was I think it was Billy Bear and Patrice around Friday night videos way back in the day and everybody was bombing on the show and they were airing it, fuck you, they're airing this. You filmed it, they filmed a ton of them, and they just air them. So they just get, they were like, fuck that. Patrice was like, so he turned his back to the camera,

and did his whole set to the wall. So they couldn't air his set. I thought that was brilliant. It's, here's a great Patrice being a total asshole, but awesome. Yeah, we're a carer He was on stage at Caroline's and it was a crit it was a Christmas and it was like you know When like there would only be like 30 people at Caroline's and there was the small stage Yeah, and that big fucking room. Yeah, oh it was rough. Yeah, it was a Christmas half of the audience

There was only like 30 people there was like a Wednesday half of the audience. There was only like 30 people there, it was like a Wednesday, half of the audience was an office party. Oh, and the boss is this lady. She's got her hair up in a bun, and she's laughing at nothing, at nothing. And they have Patrice headlining this. It was, so he starts going, this your boss? And they go, yeah, and he goes,

let me tell you how this bitch likes to get fucked. Wow. Just like Jesus Christ, right? He starts graphically describing it. Oh, nice. He goes, y'all see her with that bun? She lets that hair down. She has a dude wrapped that around his fucking fist and pull her fucking head back like

that. It's so grap toes heads and he's doing any looks up and she's staring at him and he goes, bitch don't give me boss eyes. I don't want for you. Wow. Man, whatever happened to him? He's uh, he, he died. Oh shit, I didn't know that.

He went the way of the black comic. There you go. Two of my black comic friends had strokes, I'm sorry. Oh, that's right. Yeah, Keith, Keith is funny. He, his two strokes actually made him funnier. Yeah. He's got a special coming out.

He's got a special coming out, and it's fucking, it annoys me. Killer. How funny it is. Yeah, his new shit's amazing. And it also annoys me when he talks. Yeah. Yeah.

He's like the Trump when Trump made fun of retards. That's what Keith is like. He's got the twitchy hand. I'm gonna tell the story, I got a great piece of Robin's story. You guys will love this. I told this on YKWD, I'm gonna tell it for the audience. Keith, my aunt died a few years ago, right? This is a great story. Are you laughing because you know this, sir? Yeah. My aunt died a few years ago. And I'm down in Jersey with my whole family.

It was a really hard blow. It was bad. It was really a tough one. And I was down in my family for four days doing all the feudal shit and all this stuff. Keith is calling me every day and I'm not calling him back. But he keeps calling me and I'm getting like irritated because I'm like, dude, I'm just trying to fucking, but I'm not getting back to him. Anyway, I swear to God, we're leaving the wake or the church, I think, and we're driving in the procession to the funeral to bury my hand.

I'm driving in the procession, my phone rings, it's Keith. This motherfucker, what does he need? So I pick up, I go, Keith, Jesus Christ. And he goes, you motherfucker, when I call you, you pick up your fucking phone, or you call me back. You cock sucker. And I go, really dude, really? My aunt died. That's why I couldn't answer your calls, okay?

My aunt's dead. I'm driving the list of the cemetery right now. So what do you got to say about that? And he just goes, eh, you're always bugged me. How do you know your aunt? He didn't know your aunt? No, that's funny. That's very funny. That's great.

The funniest. Those guys had some great lines. You ever heard the Patrisso Neal was sitting at the seller and Nick DePolo walked in and he's like, hey, Nick, I got to tell you, my mom is a huge fan of yours. And Nick goes, that, geez, my demos lunch ladies. Patrisso Nick was, Patrisso said, he was all shaken up and he goes, Nick, Jesus Christ,

I just got my blood work back. The doctor said I have eight of the ten things that kill black people. And Nick Ghost was bullets in there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha One of the funniest motherfuckers. So funny, so funny. There's no fucking denying Nick DePolo how funny he is, man. He was doing, he was doing, yeah, those fucking witch fingers out of my face. I hate you long fucking witch fingers. Yeah, they smell like Nicole.

He was doing this. Yeah, they smell like Nicole. Yeah, they smell. True, Nick DePolo, he was doing a show of Caroline. Same thing, one of those two thing I chose. There's like 30 people there. It's the truncated stage. He's on stage, and there's a guy sitting literally like this, and he goes, he goes, Hey, buddy, you enjoying yourself? You haven't fought my cock in your face all night?

You like that? And the guy goes, not really. And he goes, yeah, I don't like it either. But God forbid they put the big stage out because the fucking Jews that run this place have to sell an extra diet coke today. I was like, Jesus Christ. Didn't Nicole give you those pants? She knows what I like. I was at... I went to Japan with Colin and Nick DiPolo. And there was this big lady running the whole thing, and she was kind of annoying. You know, you were so...

I mean, she did gobblesser troops, but she was like, we have to go here, we have to go here. And we're trashin' each other the whole time. And Nick's fucking vicious. To the point we sometimes get mad, he'll get you so bad, you know? And she starts doing it to us. This lady starts fucking with us and bustin' our balls. And you just don't do that, right?

So we're outside, we get to this thing in Japan and we did the show and we're outside, and we're talkin' shit about this lady. And Nick's like, this fucking, what the fuck, who the fuck does she think she is? Fucking, you know, we bust up balls, she's giving us fucking shit and we're all kind of saying stuff all of a sudden that look up and there's a window open. I go, guys, cut it, look up there. And we look up and then we see two little fat feet coming down the stairs.

And it's her. And she heard us. We write, talking shit about it for like 20 minutes. And she comes down and she goes, guys, I'm so sorry that I overstep my bounds. I won't do it again for the rest of the tour. I'm really, I apologize. I shouldn't have did that.

But next time if you're gonna talk about somebody, maybe don't do it under their open window. And Nick goes, yeah, there goes that fucking apology. Yeah. Me and Colin fell on the bushes. What the fuck? We were in Montreal. We were doing the dirty show in Montreal

and like the fifth night of it, Nick was hosting it. I was first every night. Nick goes on stage. It's the night they're was hosting it. I was first every night. Yeah. Nick goes on stage. It's the night they're taping it for TV. Yeah. And the crowd sucks. And Nick's on stage and he's trying to open up the show and he's going, he's going

loosen up. You're fucking dead. It's the fucking nasty show. Read the fucking sign before you come in here. You're fucking Montreal dead. So I go on stage. I don't have a great set. I come off stage. I'm in the green room, I'm bitching.

I go, that crowd sucked, man, that crowd's, I was so mad, and I kept talking about it, and then Nick goes, hey, Deroza, you would not pull us all into your bomb just because you didn't do well. I go, Nick, you called them kids 12 times. And he goes, that doesn't mean I thought they were bad! I was fucking love that guy, man. What ever happened to him? He had a stroke. Oh, wow.

Now he's down in the... How was he? In Georgia now. Wow. Yeah, he moved down to Georgia. You ever go to his house fucking Christ? No, big. Yeah, big. He lived in the Coleons Lake Taco, Tahoe House.

Tahoe House. Oh, fuck a fat bob just came out. I'm getting packaged through in this podcast. I want to know, when I was fat, you ever talked me out of my back about how fat I was? No, just dear face. It would be mwyn. Are you shit faced right now? Yes.

Damn, it's early. Absolutely, dude. It's I am waste. It's for real. The fucking eagle started to tend. Oh, you have a triggance. It's not him. What time is it?

Dude, it's crazy. You're fucking dead. I thought you were fucking tired. Not. I forgot you were tired. I was tired. I was tired. I was tired. I was tired. I was tired. Yeah, what time is it? It's crazy Seven hours I thought you were fucking tired. Not I forgot you were here. How about a good time?

Have a good time. All right, I'm just saying it's fucking Sunday, man It's Sunday. Well, I'm glad you came on buddy. I'm so glad I found out the fucking your side queer No, it was it was a one we're all side queer. We're all side everybody here. Everybody's a little side. Also the future right the future is coming for all of you. Guys, you don't know what's coming. You're going to meet a little lady, little dainty lady on the streets. It's going to be hot as shit. She's going to smell good. You're gonna take her home. What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm not talking about it. I'm not talking about it. You're not talking about it. I'm not talking about it. I'm not talking about it. You don't wanna fuck a guy, you wanna fall in love with one. No, I'm saying you'll be,

there's a chance you'll be just enough fucked up. You'll take her home, because she looks different, right? You make a mistake. You find out it's not what you thought. The problem is you go, let's finish. Why do you do that? Because you're a man.

Because I'm a fucking man. That's what men do. We fucking finish each other. Finish each other. That's a man. Men finish each other. Other men. So all you guys in here tonight, you go suck each other off.

Yeah. We're going to play Ding Dong at the circuit tonight. Who's in? We should play one round of Ding Dong. Let's go. Let's fucking go. Are you Tommy right now? Go ahead.

I'm playing Ding Dong with you. Let's go. So I'm trying to think who would it be easier for you to play that He's the top if it happens if what are the characters? Where the character? Who are the characters? Yeah, we never gave them names. We didn't write back stories for My Yeah, we never gave them names. We didn't write back stories for No, there's the date and the person who's home it is you can't believe I'm doing this come on There's nowhere to lay though. Yeah, there is

Right on the cable no laying down. What are you gonna play ding dong? I thought you were a man. You can't play dung snag. You got a fucking lay down. Dang dong's a life down. Come on, lay down right there. There. There. There. That's not gonna hold. That's not gonna hold. That's not gonna hold. It's not me playing the game. It's not me playing the game. It's gonna break. Oh, you're both laying down. What the fuck? What the fuck? What did you say? I'll say it. Oh, no. Do it standing up, good. I'll show you it, watch. Okay.

Okay, listen. Ding Dong, dang Dong. Is the ding Dong when the penis is touched? No, the sound of the doorbell. Oh, okay. I don't get the point. It was a very layered game, but we didn't realize how well written it was.

It was. Yeah. All right, I'm gonna be the date. Okay. No, you're the date. So, can I be the folie guy doing the ding dong? So, what, oh, you gotta do the ding dong. So this is, I'm gonna go over here with the fucking straight mark.

Yeah, there you go. You and your boys are having it. How do you win this? I don't get it will have a cumstress I guess I got to be honest markets the kind of game where everybody's a winner all right except me so you just you're that you're you're you're coming to my house you're the date just just walk up and go ding dong. All right And really mean it Tommy. I want you to really really bring it really get into this tea now pretend this is a love seat And I'd be laying like this

All right, Tom. Here we go. Tommy Tommy what what are you pushing deep down inside of you? Tommy, what are you pushing deep down inside of you? Jesus Christ. I'm pushing down a thing. Just after that, it was a swirpy. You think this is fucking easy, Joe? There's a room full of guys. I love he's bustin' my balls.

He's like, just come up here and lay down, be gay. I'm gonna fucking 300 strangers. What are you hiding? So fucking easy, Joe. Ding-dong! It's too aggressive. It's too aggressive. Is there a ring camera? Is that bar light? It's the 90s. Oh, it's the night. Okay, okay. That was the 80s. Oh shit. All right, I'll see you dad. You pick me up at like three.

Have a nice son. Tommy, don't forget. Don't touch any dick. Shut up dad. No, you're a woman. That was his woman voice that he remembers. Can you not be a Genzo for three seconds? Jesus Christ.

You got fucking balls. It is wafted off of you. You should always have a rag over your shoulder. I'm an Irish guy, actually, again. You're juac-like a guinea. Arap. Let me read a fucking bell. Jesus Christ, I got started all over.

So, I got to tell you, it's a good thing. No, you got to say ding dong the game's dead on you fucking dumb dumb shut This is gonna all right I used to have a real job I used to get money Stand up real job. I used to get money. Ding dong. I'm excited for our date. This is the case. I don't understand the point. What is the point? You see, before I put it in that, and he does not. Tommy, you're doing fucking great. You, you're doing good show it up. You're not show it up You're not standing character I an act outs this motherfucker do the ding dong again. All right. Well, so what's from the Okay, I'm the top

Okay, but I gotta lead you to the love see So ready ring But I gotta lead you to the love sea So reaking reach out front and come on here, dude The love see it's gonna be over there. No, you got plenty of core you could have some more two seconds Please take me out of this fucking Ready just walk out. How does it end? I don't get the punchline. Help it ends by one of the seconds. If we just leave. Let's do it. Let me start.

I'm just talking about anything out. All right. Here we go. Back to one. Sorry about this. I didn't want this. I didn't act like that. I'm going to be a guy.

You're sat there, Tommy. You're doing good, kid. I feel like I'm doing good. You're fucking rocking this. Just walk up and ring the bell again. Bye, Tom. Ding dong. Hi. Oh, this is how it's fucking played.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, Joe stop laughing. That was Joe's a fucking abuser. No, yeah. Crazy. I'm very. It's crazy. I'm very gentle about the thing. Joe, Joe hit his gay friend.

Yeah, too. Hi. So I go, I'm excited for our date. Yeah, me too. Me too. Me too is right. Ha, ha, ha. Me also.

Then we would lay on the, and then we would lay down. No, no, stop backing away. We, we would lay. no no stop back in a way Joe, do you imagine if I was doing this to a female cop we'd be done oh, yeah, this is this is crystal clear special So sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. Hey, there's a piano right behind you. Yeah, you could lie on that no No, no, no, no, no, like Liberace you're clear Yeah, you could lie on that. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, like, Liberace, you're clear. And then we come to the love seat and we play like this. Hold still.

It's relaying. It's still relaying. There's nowhere to go. It's so funny you were in a shirt. This is a mocking game. Is that thing done? That's thing done. That's that's it. That's it. That's it. That was, I give it up. Oh, that was the most uncomfortable thing. I've seen it scaring fast.

And I saw Jay stick a gun and Lewis's asshole. You guys give it up. That's it right there. Give it for Mark Bloorman. Tommy Pope. Joe DeRosa, not gay. You guys are the best fans of the world. Hope you guys have fun at the festival.

We'll see you next time. You know what, new podcast. Take care. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.