Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe List, Dante Nero, Mike Calta | Submarine Sandwich

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

This week we've got Joe List, Dante Nero and Mike Calta joining Bobby to talk keeping the fire going in a relationship and the importance of backdoor shenanigans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey What's up everybody Arch to the K to the Ellie Is back whoa what the fuck is that um Hey, um what's happening everybody? Yes, I am back This I mean this podcast doesn't stop, you know, it should have stopped. I fucking you know a pandemic I make my shed into a ultra holy shit studio. Look at this. Look how good I look right mush Amazing. Oh my god. Can you learn how to act? I was sincere. you sincerely look amazing I got the booka very nice we got the booka we got the fucking red we

got the new Tom Ford's what's up anyways this weekend I want to thank all you ladybugs all you peoples all your or your arcade fans, WikeW dudes, for buying the paper view. You know, it was pretty wild. You know, it wasn't my best performance, it wasn't my worst. Had a lot of fun, Rich Voss, I want to thank him for coming down and just popping in, doing a guest spot.

He's got a little Zoom paper view coming up. We're in doing a guest spot. He's got a little zoom pay per view coming up. We're going to support him soon. And, you know, at a good time, me and Voss, he came out at the end. We did a little Q&A. I don't know if you got a chance to see that much, but it was. What do you guys get us, them Roberts? What? Oh, yeah, he was.

Well, he trashed Jim Jim and Sam with live during the paperview and he said something fucked up about the Jim and Sam show. And then and then about Sam. And then the guy, the guy who on the theater went up and was asking the Q&A questions and we just immediately attacked him from the shoe to the fucking top of his hair. It was brutal and he was such a sweet guy for taking it. There was a couple moments where he got mad, you know, because look, he owns a theater. He's a fucking boss, you know what I mean?

And he's taking it from us two knuckleheads. And, uh, so, uh, boss said his shoes were assy, assy. Um, oh, let Gabby and let Gabby in. Hello. Hey, Gabby, what's up, baby girl? Um, so cool. You look like a retired gay DJ from Berlin. I love it. I'll fucking take that. Love you until the say it to me today. It's good to see you. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to my class. Yes. Oh, I've been making beats for so long.

Oh, I like my cigars, like I like my men brown and thin. And thin. I love those classes. La, la. Yes, these are new glasses. They're new and they fucking fade to blue when I go outside, by the way. I think I'm also going to get them. No, you don't get these.

That's fucking against the law. You don't buy something I have. That's like when Patrice bought my watch and Dane got my watch, you can't do that. I found this look and I get it. You can go another direction. You have many different. I found this look and I get it. You can go another direction. You have many different. I have one fucking, I got two things I can do to look halfway decent. You have 97. You can wear potato sack and people are going to tell you that you look fashionable. I have

two things I can do, okay? Listen, if I put those glasses on, we still will not look alike. Mosh, did you get the chat? Which part of it? I'm sorry. Oh, yes, yes, I responded to you. Oh, there he is. Get your lists, fucking glasses. I don't buy my glasses. Get your list glasses.

Hi, Joe. Hi, Joe, Tits. Hi, buddy. Excuse me. I got all choked up when I saw your face. Oh, thank you. Oh You got a bat. I wish I had a bat up my ass. This won't be a perfect one to go up your bum too. Very very Perfect size for a bum stick it in your rump

Right up here. How far could you go do you think here? I'm saying right here to you Right there. I bet Yeah, I wouldn't want to go too far. I'd like a nice just a little bit just taste You could go down to here on me lit My ass would take a puff Oh shit, I gotta get my computer charger. I'll be back. Please do show the party. Per a few seconds. Well, we're good. Listen, Gabby, do not get my glasses back to that.

I really, I think I am. I really, really like them. No, you fucking don't. And you said the brand and I wrote it down. You don't, uh, you're a piece of shit. If you get my glasses, I will be furious. That's exact. And that makes me want to get them so much more. Well good. I'm glad I taught you well. Keith Robinson calls me the fucking night of the pay-per-view. I'm nervous. It's live. I'm doing this shit.

Keith Robinson calls me. I'm like, wow, Keith's calling. The property, Keith's calling to... Aaaaah! I'm sorry, I'm like, wow, Keith's calling. The property, Keith's calling to, hey, what's up, baby girl? To the skinniest people I've ever seen. So Keith Robinson calls me the night of the paper view. I pick up the phone, I go, hey, what's up Keith? He goes, I hope you bomb. And then he hangs up.

That's friendship. These are my friends. You have bad friends. And I'm including Joe. What? Let's start following a good friend. Now Joe doesn't, Joe, the only Joe does that he doesn't invite me to is he doesn't, Joe doesn't want me to be around his other hipster friends.

Joe doesn't want Bob Kelly from Boston friend around his cool Brooklyn hipster alt friends. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. You're a maniac. Yeah, he just doesn't want to meet it. I don't get invited to barbecues or play dates or a little coffee trips or shows. He does these joe list with friends nights. He brings down fucking Louis Ari fucking Eddie Murphy. I don't get I don't get nothing. Yeah, nothing like those Brooklyn hipsters Louis CK are you sure fear in Eddie Murphy, I don't get nothing. Yeah, nothing like those Brooklyn hipsters, Louis CK, are you sure fear in Eddie Murphy? So that's another thing. Your little barbecues I don't get invited to. I don't have barbecues.

I had a picnic. I just found the photos. Max is a little baby and you brought cupcakes and someone else ate them. And you didn't like my fucking balloon. And you just trashed it. And so I didn't invite you back. And you don't want to fucking balloon and you just trashed it and so I didn't I didn't invite you back And you don't want to come you're up there the whole thing and I have invited you many times to other places

You have fucking Kalta he'll have fucking nights with the football games and parties never have I I find out about this shit like on Wednesday But like hey man, what a fun time this week weekend over Joe's. I'm like, huh? Nothing every barbecue he's ever been invited to my house. He's been invited to and let me just tell you The fucking the thing that he had in the park he goes dude's gonna be a bunch of us hanging out the park I'm thinking it's all our friends that I know Look for a balloon. He had a balloon four inches off the ground in central park. I'm with the brand new baby and a wife. I'm

walking around looking for a balloon. I finally find the fucking thing. We sit down. Don brings a bunch of shit. All his little friends, all open micros, by the way. You know, one has a package of open nuts, one has beef jerky out of a bag. Don is bringing homemade food to this place. They savagely eat it all and I don't even know these guys. I know Joe. That's it. If you want to balloon this one on your shoulders right now, why don't you like why don't you like buy me to come to parties as you complain about everything? I mean we're fucking eight minutes in he's inclaiming a party eight years ago And

One time, first of all, it's been COVID for a year and also the last party I had we had this discussion And you know what dude it was Sarah and I turn it over a new leaf and we were going with the nice folks the little Hip Brooklyn queers that they're all vegan, and it was fun. And they were sweet and nice. We didn't have you, Bobby, Louis, Louis, Ari, all these people that I have to collect this. No, when you get to know him, he's great.

I've collected friends that I have to be like this. I love them, but I definitely get it if you had to block them on Twitter First of all, what would you have to do with Louis? All right? What do you mean? I have to go yeah, I know I know. I'm sorry, but I like go. I don't know So I'm lumped in with Louis and who else? Ari. That makes perfect sense. I'll take that. I like all those guys.

But here's the thing. As you know that I could fucking I can roll with your nerdy friends. Yeah. What? Yeah. Gabby's like one of them. I mean, I've never invited Gabby anywhere, but I think she's friends with the people, you know Let Gabby would fit in more where your party's in Bobbywood. Oh

Yeah, we love you have Gabby. No, yeah, Gary's Gabby's definitely a boring balloon party type of person Fuck you. What the hell? I'm buying those glasses. Hey, I brought wine that we used last night. We didn't drink at all. And candles. We're in the middle of a park. Why are you bringing, I just thought we could let some candles. Set the atmosphere.

To be fair, I was looking at the photos from that party and 80%. It's a different crew now. 80% of those people now, I'm like, I can't imagine them. That party had like some Brooklyn E people that you're talking about and then like Dave Smith and Lewis so I couldn't even imagine Times have changed so much we were looking at those photos and being like wow, this is insane I would never have these people in the same room, but I'm a I'm a yeah, what do you call it a great

Bondage lover I can hang with the hipster you know bondage bondage bondage not bonding Whatever bonding you dumb dumb. Yeah, I want to be tied up and fucked in the ass by a guy. I mean it's no big whoop I'm just saying I can hang with both crews. I like everybody can you make that happen for him? Yeah, I wouldn't be talking about fucking half my friends a bisexual Yeah, have you ever seen me afraid before? I wouldn't even talk about fucking half of my friends a bisexual. Oh, yeah. Have you ever seen me afraid before? No, why? Because I hold on.

Why? Call time, miss you. I miss you too, but I have a feeling I just got missed a, a face time call for Warren's app. And I'm afraid to take it. Oh, wow. Why? Because I have to take it right on here today. Please take it right now. Take it.

He missed it. I looked up to see what I missed. And as it Warren Sapp FaceTime, I'm like, nope. Oh, what did you say about him on the air? I missed it. He, it's a long story. He and I are friends. He was supposed to be on the show Friday and he didn't show up and then I Text him and he just sent me back a picture of him on a boat. He's like diving Like we were supposed to be on the fucking show and now you're diving So today I had him another player on and I talked shit about it And he must I heard it because now he's trying to face time and I'm I'm not doing that

Why why am afraid of that? Why you afraid of war and sat because I'm not afraid of fighting war and sat them afraid him yelling at me like a like a angry uncle What's he gonna yell at you about like what do you mean? You can't word a lot and he's gonna make me feel like you know, I usually yell I'll make them feel better. No No, they No, they don't have anything like all of them on the podcast. Oh, you're describing my phone calls with Bobby. An uncle that yells at you and says it in word a bunch. Exactly. I don't, first of all, I do not listen to me. Do not

fucking, I do not say the end word a bunch. You do not yell like a man go. Yeah, and I don't say it a bunch. How about this prediction? Sorry, I don't want to change the song you will die you will die of age. Yes I'm not oh that's hurtful how about fucking Dustin diamond he died and three got diagnosed three weeks ago. He's dead Who came to Screech I never heard a bad word about him. Who's Dustin? Is it screech screech from Is it screech? Screech from the day by the bell. Of course he died. He made pornos at his and his lowest point of his career.

He just started banging chicks. Ugly chicks. For money. Yeah dude. You don't bang porn chicks for money and not expect to get AIDS or something that's going to take you out and give you weird knuckles in a pot belly. You're saying he got amateur porn cancer? Yeah dude. He got fucking... He got some... I'd give you weird knuckles in a pot belly. You're saying he got amateur porn cancer?

Yeah, dude, he got fucking, he got some, he got the hebs. But he was diagnosed three weeks ago, he's already dead. It was like a super aggressive, that can happen to any of us. We could all be dead in three weeks. Yeah, don't fuck whores that have AIDS. Yeah, don't do that. Just to have you know. I shouldn't be doing that.

What? I can't fuck or hoars with AIDS. What's your deal? You know boyfriend yet? No, I'm single. I'm going on many, many dates now that I got COVID. I have the antibodies and I'm going absolutely off. I have anybody. Yeah. Good to meet you. Do you want to go to the mouth? No. Oh, shit. Right at you. Gabby definitely is at risk of getting AIDS every weekend. What the fuck? How many guys have you had sex with in the past 30 days? Three. I know that could have been for sure. Three in 30 days? Yeah. Why is it that I couldn't

get late in my 20s when there were girls like you're on? I didn't. Which did you fall asleep? Are you reading the chat that I'm asking questions? I'll talk to that dad. I'm sorry. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Three guys and 30 days. What can we get the breakdown was like we're two of them in two days or What can we get the breakdown? Was like, were two of them in two days, or was it once every 10 days? Or two or one? It was like, what a week. Oh my God, look at Dante zooming in.

Oh, see? Oh, see? How do we get Warren's sepon so fast? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! This guy looks like somebody's strong,

smushed Bobby's head down. Ah! You don't know Dante? I don't I never met Dante. Oh Dante is a close friend of mine I love him dearly very funny comedian and very like you know land small planes with those headphones Yeah, he gets technology that was a big 10 years ago Nothing wow, I get I get joke. We can't hear you. You sound stinks. No, it's very low. Um, anyways. It's like a warrior friends. I don't want to fight him the most.

About now. About now. A little more. Getting better. Louder, louder, louder. More, more, more. About now. That's good right there. Wow. Okay. That's good. All right. That's good.

What's going on? Hey, Ben. Hi, Dante. How are you, buddy? I'm good, man. Wow, okay. That's good. Alright, that's good. What's going on? Hey, man. Hi, Dante. How are you, buddy? I'm good, man. I'm good. It's good to see you, bro. I was telling you, Dante, I was yelling at Dante, like I do a lot of my things.

And I was yelling at him and he was just staring at me. And then he goes, he goes, you know I could rip your head off and shit down your throat, right? And I just said, yes I do. That's, you know what? Here's the funniest part. We were debating something, and I was yelling at you. And you go, stop yelling at me.

My toes are curling up in my shoes. Yeah, he, Dante is a scary human. Oh yeah, Keith Robbins said, good said. Oh, I just talked to him. And told him don't he was on the show. He said go fuck yourself. All right. He's he's feeling better, right? Because you stole his movie night. Oh, dude, come on. He always says that the fuck I'm gonna say this. Calty. You don't know about this. Joe. I don't know if you know about this guy. Can you introduce me? I am. I will get it. All right. You got of course Mike Calton my number one best friend

a number one radio guy in Tampa, West Florida, each floor, what did I just say Florida? What's going on Mike? Good to you, bro. Nice to meet you. Mike Calton and then of course you get Joe Titz. He used to be Joe Lisbitt. He's transitioning and his new name is just it's got it. Yeah And then you have Gabby she's no tits And honestly, I'm a little upset because Gabby just revealed she's had sex with three men in 10 days and then don't think in 30 days, sorry, one of the 10 days. And then now we're moved on to don't they already? All right.

Well, you know, I don't, I don't, I'm going to, I'm going to put it, a bookmark in that show because you're absolutely right. Let's talk about this. Oh, go. And don't they as a sex don't they give advice to men on how to get women to I do women to but my market is men more than anything You're the market's men of course it is, but he gives men advice on how to get get some get some smush I mean, it's a little more than that. I mean, I've done you know, I've done relationship counseling for yannis Kristi Stefano Lenny Marcus

relationship counseling for y'all this Christy Stefano Lenny Marcus yeah um Paul the time Chris uh what did you do with your counseling huh what do you grab this all and threaten them I um I actually I was a I was a male strip of for 10 years like when I was in my 20s uh and then I um and I uh and then I did I ran an escort service for about six. And it gives you a perspective on both ends of it. So that makes you go to relationship advice? No, he just tells you what shitty people are. Because he knows who the shitty people are.

It's actually the same principles. It's the same principles are involved all the time. I mean, but I think it's different, but it's it's not different. So what would you give what advice we give to Joe list? Oh, kill myself. He started off with shots. Fuck y'all. I came up and I couldn't even get my fucking audio on in your start shooting at me now. It's oh

Oh, Jesus Listen a little hot turn your audio down. I didn't say anything, but I will I will be the messenger that Nick Lang media in the chat said You look like the rock at the same diagnosis as screech, which is pretty good And the chat said you look like the rock at the same diagnosis is screech, which is pretty good That means the rock with AIDS Just I'll punch up his joke for He's dead he died he's dead. You shit me turn it up just a little bit. I Got it. I got it. I got it. It's not a

Oh, he's got it. No Mike's got it mush got it good I got it, I got it. He's got it. No, Mike's got it. Mosh got it. Go ahead, Mosh got it. Yeah. Dustin died. I didn't know he died. Yeah, he died earlier. Wow. He was one of the ones that stuck Gabby.

He was a dad. Yeah. First one to know you. Okay, first one. Here we go. Dustin. Yeah. She's been, she had COVID, lovely gaps.

Had COVID, now she's out there just banging everybody. She's got the antibodies, she's out there, she's got no boyfriend, she had a boyfriend, she fucked it up because she's the comic, let me finish. New for comic. She's a comic. She's like, she happened about her personal life on stage. He was an artist, didn't like any of that shit, you know what I mean? And so that ended, you know, she't like any of that shit, you know what I mean? And

so that ended, you know, she's definitely, you know, Brooklyn hipster out there. So she's out there banging, but she wants a boyfriend, but she can't find one. That's okay. Let me just, let me kind of counter that because almost none of that was true. Just to be super clear, and did the relationship with a boyfriend mutually, everything's fine. Then I got COVID almost immediately after. Then I've just been, I don't want a boyfriend.

I'm just having fun. All right. I mean, so that was all wrong. I got, I want to go back to Joe Liss. I'm going to tell you what's wrong with Joe Liss. I know exactly what's wrong with Joe Liss. I can't believe it. And this this is not this is serious shit. Joe list doesn't know what a good guy is. How about that? Oh that's really nice. Thank you. I

appreciate that. Joe's a funny dude. He's a kind dude. He's a generous dude anytime I've been around him. Generous. Yeah, he's a generous dude. What a generous dude. I give away a lot of money. I've never got a nickel from you. Not to you. No, that's a lie. Money didn't him, Bobby. I brought Bobby a home depot gift card because he had a party and he moved to a house. I brought him a gift card.

I handed it to him and he got mad at me. He's like, what are you doing? You don't bring stuff to a fucking thing. I left her. that's not bad. That's Bobby's thing, Bobby. If you don't bring him a gift card, Bobby will go, you didn't bring me a fucking gift card, say you. That's no, stop, that is not my thing.

When you come to my house, and this is a fact, I'm fucking insulted now, you're a big guy. No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, No, no, no, no, you shut your face. When I, when I, you come to my house, and, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, It was like, dude, you don't bring nothing here. It was not more of a not a fuck you. It was like dude Your here helping please. You don't bring me anything. That's too much. He took it wrong. It wasn't a fuck you It was a come on, dude. You don't need to do that. Okay. That makes me feel worse Ton is not always exactly right listen,, everybody knows I have fucking tone issues.

Yeah. Okay, I have tone issues, but I'm not an asshole, but my tone is off. You're an asshole. You're an asshole, but your tone is off too. But you're right. You go to Bobby's house, Bobby doesn't, you don't want for nothing.

That's true. But Bobby likes bitching and yelling at people. He kind of likes doing that. So I listen. First of all, we need the point out that Bush did not picture volume whatsoever. You still love. I've been, I've got much totally got much to chat for him to fix it.

He's just ignoring me. Second of all, you invited this guy to your house too? God take Nero. Let me tell you something about the nero You don't want to let him have the lay of the land because when it's time for him to kill you He knows what the whole place looks like you know what door to go in don't tell you know Okay, tell him Bobby tell him Just a little bit Let's turn it down just a little bit. Just a little bit.

Like, listen, Daitaine Nero, I mean, I mean, has always, I mean, been there. He is always there if you need him. I'm in Brooklyn buying a, yes, a bowling alley. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, remember that literal fucking bowling alley. I was like, I wanna make a desk. I wanted to be 25 inches long. I wanted to be 10 feet long. 20, 25 inches wide, 10 feet long.

I found a bowling alley in Brooklyn, a truck flipped over and they had this bowling alley. I'm talking, these pieces weighed hundreds of pounds. I had to go there, almost died, because he had them stacked up in the backyard and they almost fell on me with nails. I had to go there almost died because he had him stacked up in the backyard And they almost fell on me with nails. I almost died. I call him. He comes over. We load it in my car Comes all the way to my house takes it out of my car He then I he ate me out of house and home

but then He I mean, I mean who does that and my kids birthday? always Number one gift bang number I mean, who does that? And my kids birthday? Always. Number one gift, bang. Number. Bingo. I mean, crazy gifts. Because I buy shit that I would want.

And I'm just too big, I'm too big to ride. Right, now, now, Calton, my Calton has taken that role over by the way, I must say that. Now, yeah, he is, he bought Max some shit this year. I mean, a little outrageous. He did buy him a gun, but it was a nerf gun. But anyways, listen, my point is this, I want you as see that blonde girl up there. Yeah. What would you say to her to get a boyfriend? She's not, she has no problem getting a boyfriend. She has a vagina. It's not getting a boyfriend.

It's keeping the boyfriend. Oh! Why can't you get a keep a boyfriend? I don't know. And why did you break up with the last one? Because he was a big partner in the locker. Yeah. It was a little crazy.

He was a little crazy. Well, what attracted you in the first place? it was a little crazy. He was a little crazy. Well, what when he tracked that you were in the first place, he was a little crazy. Because he was a little crazy. He attaches all over his body and that's something I'm interested in sexually. What? Thanks, Cap. You're welcome. What happened? I got nothing. I don't care for needles, but let me ask you. Don't tell you're a relationship guy. Yeah. What's Gabby? It claims she was a mutual breakup.

Is this an age old question? Is there such thing as a mutual breakup? No, such thing as a mutual breakup. Never. Don't tell you. I broke up with him. Huh? I broke up with him and then we got back together and then we broke up again a month later mutually. You did not you broke up with him Gabby stop. Nobody's gonna not fuck you. That why would you not why would you do that? And why would you not fuck

Gabby? I don't know. Anybody got answers? I'll tell you I got answers. That's a several fucking or vaginas two wet all the time. Don't know that. You guys too pale. You see the blood pumping into it. People like that. Your hair is fucking too thin. It's not the fuck.

Her elbows are weird. I mean, I had a long head. Her head is very long. A very long head. Very long head. Oh, I'm gonna go. Her head is very long. Yeah, very long head. Very long. I'm gonna plus you thinking about all of these. Plus, she looks exactly like her dad and I love Bon Jovi. I was I while I'm banging her. I'm just like, oh, she's going to run away. Run through my fucking head All right What do you feel about Joe lists constantly want to be banged in the ass by a guy is that a thing Joe?

Yes, and his wife knows about it and she's all for it Joe Why this is a new thing like I'm not new thing like I'm not school. I'm not new. I'm not new. Don't make a joke about, by the way, I was talking about a woman, fuck, maybe I said a guy, maybe I said a guy, fuck, I mean, the other guy. But first and foremost,

Saran's is not into that idea. Saran is of an old school. Did you, did you, did you get her pegging you? No, no, she's an old school. I mean, Saran's like, she was born in the 70s. I mean, she's not,

she's not one of these hip kids that wants to watch a man get touched in the butt don't know that eventually sarah will cheat on joe if she hasn't already um like what you don't realize is sarah is 51 years old doesn't matter she still looks good and she's she first order me a guy I feel it. Joe said nobody wants none of that old box. I'm good at. Joe's wife. Joe's wife is my mother's age. No, no, we're here.

My, hey, I don't want to dick in my butt. B, Mike is is all off here. First of all, we're sober. Sober people don't cheat. You have to have like a hat, by the way, and I'm saying this, I'm not saying I'm better than everybody. If I had a sniff of beer, I would fuck anybody in within a hundred yards of mix.

But sober people don't cheat. That's why you get a sober girl. No, she is the little love you, but eventually she's gonna need a guy to throw around and you're not throwing around. We don't have physical, physical, type of abilities. Sarah's 51. She might have had a little chocolate earlier on before, Joe, you don't know.

I feel like I have to say that she's not actually 51 because she's going to do this and be very upset. It's no, I love Dante. He says you throw him around. It has to be a black dude who's throwing somebody around. Come on. Let's't we all think that? Let's be honest. Didn't we all, let's, Dottay, can I ask you a question, sexually?

Yeah. Now, do you, what, what? No, I know you dick is huge. I know. Oh God, if you ever saw his outfits from back in the day. Oh my god. Oh, yeah Jesus Christ What happened? I mean I'm 54 What do you mean what happened like I he actually had a day in the sun shut up

I meant now you're white Yeah, nothing huh Jesus No, I just you know, I was 20. I was 20 years old when I was doing that shit. You do look, listen, you do look in that photo. I have to back my cup. You do, you've, your skin has lightened. You look lighter than that.

It'd be a tone, dude. It's just, I mean, oh, you mean now, I look lighter now, you're saying. You look Puerto Rican now. I was in the fucking sun all the time. Was that the beach? I had a six pack. I was fucking never wore shirts. I didn't wear shirts to funerals. I just never had a shirt on. Could you imagine that they showed up to your mother's funeral? Just shirtless with a man ding-doll outfit on.

I never dumped the garbage with a shirt on. Never went to the store. I just was too busy to put a shirt on. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida, murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. and Joe are married. Me too. Happily married. I know, I know, I know, I know you're happily married. But we've been married for years, I think, correct? Yeah. Do you think it's important to throw your chicken around

to like choke her out and much of things for her? I don't know. I don't, I mean, I think if she's into it, I think so. You know what I mean? What she into it before? No. You know what, let me kind of explain a little bit of that. Like, you're married.

My health has been married. How long have you been married? Me 18 years. Oh, yeah. But like, you're a marriage. Your wife may never want you to throw her around at all, but she knows you can just by looking at you. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but you know, don't, Mike, don't you think

as you get older, you hone in more on what you like sexually as opposed to where you don't you don't need to eat everything in the buffet You you you kind of know where you're at, you know, yeah I mean, I think you get to know I mean mean, there's a lot of crazy shit I did. And you know, when I was coming, you know, three sums of orgies and all kinds of shit like that. But I don't even want to, you know, like I don't even, I wouldn't even want to do a three sum now. With your wife. With nobody. I wouldn't want to do a three sum ever.

Yeah. I mean, if they were smoking high, it was like ridiculous, like, so my high aching. Oh, I don't care if she's fucking tubby. I'll still try it. Yeah. Don, don, don, brought a tubby. You know, I was like, you're like, all right, let's fuck.

I was fucking gonna tease where you blow me. I got somebody here to do the laundry. You're like, all right, come on in. All right. So what if Joe and Sarah walking on from a dinner one night and two teenagers mug them and Joe can defend himself and Sarah against the two teenagers. I feel like that. Not to doubt. Did you see what if I'm a mixed martial art? I've been taking MMA for a couple

of years now. And I think I could I could handle majors no threat whatsoever Mike I will choke you out. I'm coming to take a next month Live on the air and I will choke you out. I'll give you two black eyes, but you already have them Whatever they're paying you for the weekend I'll put it in the middle of the studio And if you could shook me out that money's yours. You'll double your weekend pay. No, no, no You're I'm talking I'm saying you're sitting there hosting the show. You have to be sitting with your back to me

And I took you out It's called murder. That's not that's like a that's an assassin like a ninja He's not saying that you're gonna be a ninja. We say that two guys attack you, you'd be able to defend yourself. So Mike would be that guy attacking you. You don't think you could get to that money and make $1,500 that weekend?

It depends the situation. First of all, my rope money, I make. Come on, give it up for that. That was a beautiful slide in That's slitting beautifully. That was like air hockey I was like Gabby's vagina just slides in The problem is a co-but I think I'm actually getting $1,500 I think you have to go lower actually

Right now I suck Mike off for $1500 right now There's somebody else is gonna come on the show and Mike is gonna go fucking He wants to get his dick suck. He's gonna tell everybody Let me ask you a question. How did you ever you ever done gay shit? I did two gay shows. What? Yeah, so I'll tell you what. So there was a guy. There was a club that this guy called me up and I like. So I was kind of the dude.

So I would get other guys. And he was like, they had like this gay convention. And and whenever dudes couldn't pay their phone bill or something they would they would go and do the gay spot because at the time you couldn't do both like at the time if you did gay shows you didn't do straight shows like there was two separate circuits so this guy but I, I, but I, like, I didn't let anybody touch me. And I just say his name, Colin Quinn. Go ahead. Hey, listen, don't they come down to, uh, come down to my apartment this time.

You want to make a little extra money? I got to make friends coming over. But I didn't like that. They didn't like me because I didn't let them touch me and stuff. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't take the tips. So I was like, it just, so I used to book it of them. Like I used to be complicated answer. Bobby asked me the same question.

I thought you know, did you know, did you ever do an eGay shit? No. All right. One of you is incredibly honest. I say you never, you never let a guy touch that monster. No, no, no. You never let a guy hold it like a submarine sandwich. Dude, I'm a 90s dude.

If you grew up 90s listening to hip hop, you were automatically homophobic in the 90s. That was the whole hip-hop was all homophobia Right after work Afterwards to not be homophobic. Do you know me? I feel like I didn't even listen to hip-hop Are you a young homophobic now right? I don't know no, but I mean But I mean if you listen to like I mean you look at Eddie Murphy's wrong shit It was just like the f-bomb was was a punchline Right so I mean it's it changed, but I mean, but homophobia and hip hop was like rampant and I don't you almost couldn't

Listen to hip hop like I mean I'm 54 so I was listening to hip hop when it's pretty much when it started and 54 so I was listening to hip hop when it's pretty much when it started and The all those images and the things that they say it makes you homophobic you have to kind of go wait a minute. This is You know, this is fucked up and you know kind of have the empathy to see it from somebody else's position But initially you're constantly saying these things and saying or the guy with all these like homophobic tropes and you don't even realize that it's programming you all the time. Right. Okay. I'm just waiting for who I thought it was going to be called the but I'm completely heterosexual but if Don De Wants to zoom out and show us that hog I would think I look

at it. I'm talking into it right now. I'm dying to think about it. I'm dying to think about it. I just made this dick like a microphone. The only one that wasn't interested was Gabby. Like she's like, yeah, whatever. She stopped three in the last 30 days.

She doesn't need to see that one. She said three mediocre white dicks in the last two clocks. We don't need to see that one. You're right. She said she said three mediocre white dicks and a lot of their cocks. We don't know they're all white dude. They were all white. Oh really? What were they? What was Hispanic? Yeah, but you know black dudes. Not this month. Oh, actually, what's black? Actually, black guy, white guy, Hispanic guy. Well, what kind of you in building? Yeah, what what kind of black dude?

Black now what kind of black dude? You mean like dark skin black guy like like Yeah, no You know infinity scarves. He did have an infinity scarf Exactly. Was he a painter? I have to ask this question now because you said now I'm confused. Dante, you're what dashed down on the EU?

Black. I'm like, in what? Now, I don't know what this is the first time I'm meeting you. I do not see when I looked at the other picture. That's why I was surprised because you looked black then you look white now. You're Latino. Yes. I'm Italian. Oh really? Yeah. See? I thought you were Latino.

Yeah. Puerto Rican. Calta. I like it. Puerto Rican Mike. No, he just dresses like a Puerto Rican since the fucking the bucks are in the Super Bowl. Get that dumb hat off. Yeah, my hair is worse than my head than the hat. This funny. Well, listen, here's what I'm worried about, Dante.

Maybe you can help me with this. Is that you get, I'm at that stage now. Like Max is getting older. We're starting to fuck around a little bit more now. He went on his first sleepover. You know, but now it's like a process. It's like, I got home. I had a shower.

I had to scrub everything, make sure nothing smelled. You know, I had to, you know, put some cologne on, we getting the bed, you know, it's like this whole thing, you know, went back in the day, it was like, you know, you just bang, you just, you know, because it was, now it's, but you wanted to bang, you know, like you didn't have to think in it, you know, I mean, I can't bang because the kids around us all the time. Yeah, we she he's she's there all the time. He's not. There's no

especially this last year, especially now, forget it, forget it. Yeah. So it's like we can't bang. I don't want to fucking deal with that shit. What are you doing, a mom? No, just I've seen if she had COVID. I don't wanna fucking deal with that shit. What are you doing, a mom? I've seen if she had COVID. Mm-hmm. But no. It's, you know, when we banged the last time, it was good, but it was more good for me.

Yeah. But I missed the, like I'm worried that she's gonna want, now I think she's going, she might be going through a metapause of some shit. I don't know what the fuck's happening. Oh, great. But, like, like, I just don't want her to, I mean, you know, should I grab her by the hair and force her to do some shit while the kids on, you know, Nintendo Switch and yeah, I

mean, I mean, I mean, did you all get down like that before? Not with her. So you never did this before and all the fun you want to, you want to choke down her. Are you crazy? You ever check out a book? Like, if I could choke down and if you want to you want to try a dagger. You crazy? Every chicken was lit. If I could choke down and fucking made her hair into a handle. No, but I would never do that to my wife. I love my wife.

That's how you use chasm with just sweet loving. And then you just choke grab a and grab a But a belt a belt around and they can pull her walk around like a dog and then you're like, what do you think? I maybe should this should be a bridge in that, isn't it? Yeah Well, I just I don't know I think I should Well, I just, I don't know, I think I should, you know, maybe try, I'm nervous that if I, the last time that I got a little frisky with her was in the shower and I tried to do some crazy shit. And then like, I was like, you know, finger bang and like 10 minutes in, 15 minutes and

she goes, can you stop it hurts? And I'm like, what? And the last thing you want to hear while you're trying to fuck is it hurts. I mean, I know you hear that all the fuck your time. You're used to it. But to me, it makes me feel bad. Like, I didn't want to hurt you, Regina. Yeah, that's true.

I mean, you're doing. I don't you, you got to, I feel like you have to, like so first of all, you, when you talk about all the other women, you treated them like trash and then your wife You never you know, so you've never pulled hair or never did no oh bad. Well, I didn't treat my trash I just did dirty shit. Yeah Left money on the night table But y'all y'all weren't freaky when you were coming up when like when before max.

No, we were here, man. No. No, no. You weren't. But I mean, I think that's kind of good. This is something you could, this is something you could explore now. Has Max, his Max is getting older? And now you have. Yeah, because I'm here's why I here's why I ask, okay?

And I believe I've done this before. I have my account, we have joint accounts on Amazon. And I went through all the books that I have on my library, okay? And of course I have, you know, psycho cybernetics, healing back pain, you know, the art of the war of art. These are all my books, okay? I'm going to go down. This is what I found that I didn't know this. But one's called Wicked. The other one's beautiful disaster.

Then we have tricked and trues. We have the covet. We have sweet desires. We have, yeah, we have the rebel, unforgettable lady. We have leaping hearts. I mean, we have Romeoing hearts. I mean we have Romeo for higher Holiday bond It sounds like she reads a lot more than you

I mean dude I'm sitting there going I'm like what do you want me to do fuck it? Do you want me to hit you? I like the player. I mean these, I'm sitting there going, I'm like, what do you want me to do? Fuck it. Do you want me to hit you? Like the player. I mean, these books are endless. And then she bought Ozzie's book. I don't know why. So I don't like to say, why don't you have a talk with her about it? But not with me. Who with who? Who's of course with you? Why not with you? I don't know. I got to say my hamstring is bad. But now with me who with who who's of course with you right now with you I don't know I got a my hamstring is bad. I got a bad ACL

I get out of breath. I was shoveling today. I almost had a fucking stop and come back in the house. I Think I'm last time she got on top her hamstrings both locked up She rolled off me like a fucking shelless turtle and was going to try to the bed with her legs up. Why don't you fuck while watching porn. She chooses the porn. That'd be something. That's just a little different. Anything different is good. Get a little porn. So I'm going to watch two, I'm going to watch three ladies going at it and a hair salon. it in the hair salon. I know what your friend I was she likes, but just because you best because you watch something on you watch porn doesn't mean

that's not what you're into either. Do you know what I mean? Doesn't mean I stopped I stopped porn. Guys, I stopped watch porn. Because it was it was fucking I'll joke about it, but it was it was too much. It's like it's too the hunt. I was fucking, I'll joke about it, but it was too much. It's like, the hunt, I was going down such dark. There's too much, you can put too many in a search. You can put blonde, gang, kidnapped, husband, knife. Premon, knife.

Yeah, yeah, kangaroo, it's like, what? And Shem comes up. It's so, nice. Yeah, yeah. Kangaroo. It's like, what? And Shum comes up. It's so, yeah. It gets crazy. But you like the Bobby. Bobby's like, Joe has all his hips to Brooklyn friends. I can't watch porn.

It triggers me. You should get a fedora and move to fucking frown Heights, Bobby. Get some kidney jeans. And I like porn. And my wife doesn't want to fucking more. Shut up. Fucking, let her pick some porn and throw it in her ass.

Don't even ask. Oh, my rib. I think I just pulled a muscle in my rib. Yeah, I don't, I could never put it in my wife's butt. Are you nuts? Why? You can't put it in your wife's butt. We talked to this about this before,

because he has this thing where he puts his wife in an image like in his bubble on a pedestal. And if I think he would freak out, I think he would, you know, never be able to either fucking check and catch a Tory again. If I, I'm gonna would freak out. I think he would never be able to eat or fucking chicken couch at or again. If I'm gonna say you well. That's crazy. Why you would Joe you'd put it in Sarah's butt. No, I mean, I don't have I mean, I would if she if that's what she wanted, I certainly would, but my thing is, if someone's into Ainola, I'm like, I'll, I'll, what do you call it?

I'll oblige. But I heard a horror story, and I don't know if it's true or not. It might be a myth, a wives tale. It's not like a wives tale, that a guy was fucking a girl in the butt, and it was so tight and dry that it split as dickhole open. Like the pee hole ripped open. I know about the break in the The pee hole ripping open

I have a dude on my podcast where to do broke his dick what in break a dick? What do you we're breaking a dick? I was fucking this girl in the ass and she was bouncing up and down and it slipped out and bang and broke his dick so it um What happened when you break a dick? Well what happened? A dick cast? It bled so I asked him what happened? He bled and then when he when he when he took his pants off it splattered against the fucking wall like. Like why? And then you have to go get this operation. Otherwise, if the dick is bent, like it stays bent, like, even when it gets hard, it gets hard and a little bend wherever the break was.

I've heard about that. You're saying that a P-hole ripped open because the asshole's children. Yeah. Who fucks somebody to ask without some type of oil. But even with the Lou, I think it can, it can, it can, I don't know, it's not for you. If you can't get it in, you can't get it in. Nobody's going to put a pee. You could feel your pee hole ripping open. You're the fucking Joker. Like your pee, you can, you can put a quarter in the end of your I couldn't get a fucking grain of sand in my people Richard Jenny used to have a great bit about before he killed himself about how

Every time he tries to fucking his wife and the Asher turns into Elvis at the last minute. She's like, okay, just go gentle. Oh, thank you very much. It's fun. I needed a whole act out. It was great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. that's a obvious that is a obvious yes right that's the best answer ever we've been together a long time he sounded like Tommy D and good fellows you've been away a long time they didn't come down the entire I don't fucking the vat no more. There's only one button fuck it down here. No more vat, no more vat, Frank. No, it doesn't it's the fact that you're so against it is what blows my mind. Bobby's got things like no, but we'll do things like it's you know everything I mean it's place like I don't have things I just I believe that I was exposed to sex

You know Stan it was a perfect storm back in the 70s and 80s because Before that like in the 50s and 60s it was very you know Catholic and religious and you don't do that stuff and and then in the 60s and the 70s and then in the 80s all of a sudden you you could see porn on TV yeah you had HBO and all the show boobs you didn't you weren't exposed to that shit back in the day all of a sudden now you're exposed to the sex and all the movies were about Teenagers fucking trying to fuck each other and so I was exposed to sex very young I had all kinds of shit happen very young and on top of the

The the being exposed to way more sex you still didn't talk about it like I told my mother today We were talking about you know molestation and people getting molested and stuff. And she's like, you never got molested. You never had a mother. You're talking about this stuff? Yeah, my, talking to my mother, I want to hang up the phone the second. It's always good for five seconds

and then she'll just bring up something, you know, stupid. Like, you know, about her and my father haven't sex. You know, my mother's, you're like, we used to have sex all. I'm like, I don't want to talk about it. Why? Oh, I got questions for her. Let's get her on. I know.

I'm not. You're fucking morning radiochip with my mom. It's not. We should do a show where I interview your mother and then you can interview my mom. No, I'm not interviewing your mother. And I'm not doing that to my mother. I'm not having.

I'll do it to Your mother. I know you Well, you think your mother is ever had but you're my mother you're my mother's type to just a choppy Italian guy That makes a good sauce. Listen, here's a thing. Do you think your mother's ever an a sex? No, listen I know you hear me, but you don't answer the question. No, of course I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna answer you dumb question. Why? Stop singing that's one of these things when he knows he's off like a line. Why? Listen, the point listen. I've said this before my mother had sex. She had a kid when she was 15. She had me when she was 18. My system was she was 15. Yeah, my mom was a slut in a bush.

You know what I mean? I mean, she had a couple of slits and fucking gave it out to my Steve. Well, like, but here's the deal. They, they never talk to us about sex. They never explain anything. So you're out there, you're getting exposed to all this sex. And on top of that, they never gave you advice, talked to you.

You just, and I never had that talk with anybody. No one ever came up to me and said, Hey, this is what might happen. This is how you do it. I learned everything from TV and fucking other kids. And that's what fucked me up with sex. Bobby, have you looked at apartments in Williamsburg? Because I really do feel like you could just flip right in there. I'm a listed now. I feel like my parents told me too much. When your father couldn't hide from it.

Yeah. Yeah, your father was banging groupies ten at a time. What do you have in your mind? My mom gave me this text talk in snake skin pants. Nice. Her father is in Bondrovi by the way, just say no. I know. Yeah, so she's sitting on what the fuck is this talk about?

Listen. My mom included circumcision in my first sex talk. What'd she say? they smell like soup dumplings You might want to stay away from those like a turtleneck sweater if that makes sense And I'm like that doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense Make sure you have an app in or a baby wipe and just wipe them off because there's usually stuff inside But you understand what I'm saying. That's why I'm a little Fucked up with sex because I get it I mean I had a lot of sex and I didn't know and ever told me about it. Yeah, but do you still have those kind of hang-up

So what do you mean? I mean don't you still have those hang-ups now or you or you're over it? I mean I'm not out in the field, so I have no idea. No, I mean, I mean, even talking about it and stuff like that, you, or are you still, is it still funny for you? I don't have, I don't have hangups on sex at all. You can talk, I'll talk about anything. Yeah, but I think you would never have to do any of it with your wife.

I don't want to put it in my wife's butt, because I don't want her to do something for me that she doesn't want to do. She does enough and I don't want her to I don't want her to be like okay. I made you soup. I made your breakfast and I can stick it in my butt. What else do you want that? So you know what I mean? She said that she wouldn't say that and what about and what about if she what if you've never because you've never explored it What if she likes it in the butt? Did you ever think about that? Hey, don't I Think she's outside shoveling Now I get it

No, I don't know I I mean I have no problem asking her. I'll ask her. I'll let you know. I'll be like, Hey, can I, you're not asking my, will you shut your face? You're not asking my wife that he's such an asshole. I'll ask her. Listen, I don't have a problem with that, but I understand Mike doesn't the butt. Joe does Sarah's butt. No, you're your wife in the bottom. But I wouldn't if she didn't anil. Like I've never, oh, I'm never fucking my wife in the butt. She don't like anal though.

She doesn't, she doesn't like it. So just because she wasn't, she didn't think, if you think about anal, it's kind of gross. Now you're doing it wrong. Isn't that the thing? And that's the reason why we like it. You like it because it's kind of gross. Yeah, you're doing it wrong. Isn't that the thing? Isn't that the reason why we like it?

You like it because it's kind of forbidden kind of like you shouldn't be doing it. I'm not at 50. I think if I just say I want to clean my deck. I don't have poop on my deck. I don't want my wife's poop on my deck. Woof. You're not supposed to.

You're supposed to not. You're supposed to do something anyway. I'm not cleaning my wife's ass. What I gotta, I gotta, I gotta do chores now. Bobby, so you're telling me you've never licked your wife's ass? Oh, wow, that's a good question. I mean, I'm probably taking a couple of swipes by accident.

Gabby Gabby, that's what? Oh, she just wants all of your body. She's got all like your butt. She goes all respect for you. What do you guys do? Just path like sex? What do you do? You mean, you don't eat ass.

What's wrong with you? What's that? How are you married? Gabby, do you get your butt lit all the time? Yeah, everyone does. Okay, let me ask you a question. Why did your boyfriend from breakup with you last time? I broke up with him. Why? Oh, because I talked about him eating my ass on stage. And

he didn't, and what did he, what did he, when he didn't like it, correct? Yeah, he didn't like that. Okay. So fuck your unhealthy relationship. You don't have anymore. Okay. So shouldn't you say about your wife on stage and on this podcast? Yeah. Look, I've done some weird shit with Dawn, but I've never intentionally went and ate my wife's ass. I'm sorry, I'm not so edgy.

I've taken a couple swipes by accident. But I'm edgy. I guess. What is the weirdest thing you guys have done? I eat ass. Huh? What is the weirdest thing you guys have done? What is the weirdest thing you guys have done?

Fuck you, Calda. You wouldn't even tell me you're sticking in your wife's ass. You're so full, you're like a KGB spy. You ever fuck your wife in there? You want me to fuck. One time we fuck nine people. I'm not telling you nothing. You just directly said that you did weird shit.

So I thought I was like, I'd like to know. We've done some stuff. Like what? It's not just things. Oh boy. Let me ask, let me think. Let me think. Like weird for you or like what Dante think it's weird too?

Dante wouldn't think anything I've ever done is weird. No. Okay. The guy was the fucking, his name was Mingo okay we used to fucking well are you nuts there's my wife right there but she's with Max so I can't how would I ask her in front of Max I don't know just you know in code it just hey have you ever had your you know bushes Tricks are like that Good texture hot pepper and a peach Mojis why not

And then a big poop I'll check your I'll text your poop with a penny and then a tongue I'll check your I'll text your poop with a penny and then a tongue I gotta be honest. I'm asshole tastes like old pennies. Now I get on the same way you're not even Dude everybody's ass. So tastes like old penny That is fucking absolutely true my wife's fun. He's like a's like a new peach. So you do look a rassole. Oh yeah, I didn't say no to that. No, first of all, you can't even,

you don't even ask. I just say you don't need to ask now. Don't you know that, Robbie? Listen, buddy. Since 2003, you can't even tell. If you, you get scorns like smoking now. Why? You don't need to ask, it's like you smoke.

So weird. What is that? What, can I just say this and Dante back me up, there's no asshole that tastes like a fruit. No, you gotta do, well, you gotta do the washing before he ends. There are lanes. It's similar to fruit.

You have to wash it beforehand. You have to do the washing. You gotta get on your knees, stick a bar of dove up there there and then go fresh out dry it and then eat it and it'll taste like so soap it best by the way It only way It's gonna taste like a knee that you just washed there's a piece Unless you have to eat so When you when you do it when you have like good dirty s. It's almost better than before you've washed it all down Like a good

I'm in for that. Yeah, yeah, little funk little stank. Oh, fun game. It's so bad. Yeah That's for sex. Not for idiot. You can't eat a dirty asshole. You'll die. Not a stranger Dirty ass Like so much. Maybe she was rollerblading with spandex So you'll die not a stranger. Another thing is dirty. Yes. Like so, maybe she was roll a blade and with spandex. What's this 1973? Who's that? Roll a blade. We're getting a roller blade. I never want to.

You watch those girls work on them tick tock and you're like, I would totally eat her ass out right now while she's working out. I stayed up all the time. Yeah. Okay, listen, here's the thing. I just, I don't know about that. I ski vats a sweaty ass all.

That's why I don't like big butts. I don't like a big butt, everyone. I don't sweat. I don't, you know, hot, you know, I know hot my ass gets. Never mind this, just with fucking three of my asses, walking all day around a mall and tight-gain. So it's just a walk-in. Ah, no, it's just mushing together and forget that.

So I'm with you. You're projecting. I don't want it to do it to me because I feel bad for her. Oh, I'd feel bad for her too. Yeah, because I know she's here because she loves me. I remember Patrice told me that he had a girl. He had a girl, he got his ass and he felt bad, but he also felt silly because he was so big

and he put his legs over his head. And he just, you know, I just felt silly with my legs over my head, holding my ass open for this. I just can't make you Pat trees. Trying to find a just just hold his breath and just hold his legs up. Pretty sure we're all picturing it right now. Okay, we're gonna do an extra 10 right now. That was YKWD, the first hour.

We're doing an extra 10 right now on ass eating. If you have any questions about ass eating please so let's This is on patreon.com slash Robert Kelly right mush is mush there. I don't even know if she's there Right here Hey mush how you doing buddy? Hey mush have you ever had your ass eaten? Yeah? Really Seaton. Yeah. Yeah. Really. Yeah. It's not that. I've had my own. I look like listen. It's not that Dante. Most turn your camera on for a second. People know what I look like. Dante doesn't turn it on. It does. You ever see a fun. Mush, why are you not turning your camera?

I mean, this is comedy gold and you're just did not. Well, I had to turn a lot on to get me. Well, turn a fucking light on. I like that mush is sitting in the dark producing the show. No, he's not sitting in the dark. He has the best camera in the, look at him. He's sitting in the dark. You know what, mush?

I changed my mind. You look like you have like an adorable little asshole. Yeah. I don't have a flop adorable little asshole. Yeah. I don't have a floppy pig ass. I take care of it. No, I bet Mike has a little Ewok ass. Like it's cute and furry. And there's a little cowlicks from the hair being a little little hernator on the side of the one.

Yeah, a little hair. I'm gonna frog some mouth. A little baby frog some mouth. A frog smell. patreon.com says, we're out of trouble. If you guys are fans of the YKWD, I mean, this show's been going on forever.

I mean, the longest running East Coast podcast on the fucking planet, and I'm still doing it. There's three feet of snow, it's still snowing, and I'm in a fucking shed with a heater, and it's still going on. So make sure you go there, and if you're a fan of this show, you should be a fan over there. Just sign to the fuck up.

Also, you get Catherine Kelly, my number one best friend right there in the middle. We get that four days a week, Fridays on Patreon only, and you get all these shows unedited live, and you get to be in the chat right next door, right though, those ladybugs. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world.

I appreciate it. You got Dante Nero, you got Gabby, you got Joe List, you got Mr. Calta, and there's Mochup in the corner looking fantastic. He stole my fucking mocha. God damn it. Joe, what do you got right now going on? You got a gig coming up, correct? I got a gig. I mean, yeah, I'm at a mid-size plethora. So I'm coming to Tampa, March something. I don't know my book, March something, middle of March, and Key West, February 11th through the 13th. And I got a podcast, mindful metal jacket, Tuesdays with stories, and then Joe and Ronan

talk movies on YouTube. All I do is podcast, I wanna kill myself. You do great podcasts, and we had you and Ronan, Ronan, what's his name? Ron you and Ron on Ron on Rayna. What's his name? Ron on. Ron on. I love him.

I love him on the YouTube comments. Love it. Do it. Anyways, Dante, what's your podcast? Man's school 202 is my podcast. I love that. And I do, I'm doing Fairfield Connecticut. Just go to dontanyl.com.

And you can be back. I do the one-on-one consultations. You just go to Dante nearer.com Come here for a second. Click on consult and you can book time with me or whatever what's going on Yeah, that's it. Everything else is So immediate Dante Nero DA NTE any arrow Yeah, Don is right here. Mike's out in the mornings, make sure you check out Mike, but make sure you check out Catherine Kelly on YouTube, Catherine Kelly's YouTube, social media, and we have big news coming up. I think you talked to some people, right?

We're all set to make a move. Well, we're ready. Very close to making a big decision that's going to affect everybody's lives in a good way. Gabby, what do you got? You see the 19 podcasts. I have a podcast called Unabashed podcast. Everybody's lives in a good way. Gabby, what do you got? You see the 19 podcasts. I have a podcast called Unabashed podcast.

We have a Patreon. Check that out. Follow me on Instagram. At Gabby is Brian. Follow me on Twitter. At Gabby is Brian. I have a comedy newsletter that is comedic essays. I put out every month.

Subscribe to that link in my bio. What you're only fancy? I don't have an only fan. Stop asking. Don't be fancy. Don't be fancy. Don't be fancy. Don't be fancy. Don't be fancy. Don't be sure. Don't be a fan first. Don't say you have now people can hire you Yeah, for relationships and you say you got

You you have this show what's it called again man what Man school man school 202 Man school 202. It's on our network by the way. Yes, sir Which I love the laugh button and then Joe has his podcast Mindful mental mental mental jacket. It's a yes, metal like full metal jacket. Have I ever been on that? Yeah, you did it this year. I mean, during the pandemic, yeah, you're great. People loved it. Yeah. I actually like it because you actually, you got one of the funniest podcasts with Mark Norman, but then you went into this. And

it's actually a pretty serious, funny, interesting, helpful podcast. I love it. Yeah, I got this guy Richard Lang on. He's like a Buddhist teacher. He's he's on and then this woman, Katherine Price, wrote this book, how to quit your phone. She's on next week. Check it out. If you want to quit your phone, so go check it out. Oh, that's great. I want to get like an informative type thing like an interview. Yeah, it's we talk about mental health and then stuff stuff Hey, how you doing guys X name Humble gum may Say hi come over and say hi We got we got some names to read real quick. You got those names guys. We read these names, but Colton knows Gabby knows say hi. Hi, buddy. Hey, what's up, Max? That's

mush. That's Dante. You know Dante. And that's Joe. There you go. And that's that's mush has his face big. All right. Now, if it's if it's $10, we give them an extra something. 10. It's's a 10 it's a 10 gun salute ready So I'll read the first 10 and do I have to slap you? It's a you slap me what I slap you if they don't I don't know what you say Ray Mons. Thank you for becoming a member of the patreon. Thank you. We've got Naomi per per in That's 10 max go 10 go no what? Just go do something 10 times

Way you punch me before don't hit me. Oh whack whack. All right. There you go. There we go 10. Oh that hurt We got Tyler Johnson. We got a midnight slider. We got a midnight slider. It was the hamburger group. Oh. Oh. Oh.

God bless them. Midnight slider is also something that Dante, Joe, and Mike, you thought we had to a good way of mom. Jeffrey bonds. Mike, out to 10 things, go. What? 27, 34, 42, 91, 23, and 18. It was your power, ball numbers. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said that Max. Hey tell your mom me

All right, I'm sorry. I beat it. Go out there. Say goodbye. I like to read the civil and all right read the last one Jay vigil Ten per month just read the Jay part The name Jay part. The name, Jay, vigil, and now you do 10 things. Do 10 things for me? Yeah, go ahead. I think someone just lost. No, just say the 10 things. Do whatever you want, 10 times. This is failing. Mush do 10 things. 10 times. What? Oh, Jack, blow man, 25 bucks. What's up, Sucker? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Hold on oh I got a sweatshirt you can't hear I'm doing armpit farts. It's not coming out great Me there's my life. I Call to you go go box go box go box go box go box go box go box go box go box go box go box go box go box

34 23 chiefs over the box. I'll take that action Gabby what's your podcast baby? Unabashed podcast available everywhere mush. What do you got? Me and Jackson doing mr. Ridiculous on YouTube? Mr. Ridiculous on YouTube. You got what you and Greg are doing a show together? Yeah. Let's talk about what happened to the other show they were doing. There's no doing that, dude, cast.

Mandalorian. Oh, that's over. The new season comes out next year. So you see how mad much got it, Gabby? No, that's over. The new season comes out next year. So you see how mad much got it Gabby? No, that's over nerd. All right, guys, listen, this is Max step back a little, you crowded my space. My son, you even asked me about my son. I know you're talking about other things for way too long You but you're asking about where Okay, what talk to me about your son tell me no no no no no, I Your son is beautiful. Thank you brother. Thank you brother. I'm a nice person now. I I will always eat but I love you.

Oh my God. Make it big. That's the first time he walked. Oh my God. That kid's beautiful. Wow. Oh dude. I got hardcore baby fever.

Wow. You're not. Well, I'm just telling you. Mike're doing it wrong if you want a baby Look at that kid My god Oh, yeah, that one next one. Hey, how do you like being a dad, my friend? It's fantastic, man.

Every day. It's fantastic. It's the joke. Fall asleep. That's me on the left. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm going to go ahead.

Say goodbye. Oh, hey, good bye. See you in the next show. I'll see you. I'll gonna go. All right. Second by Okay Hey goodbye Yeah, dude that's that's it then listen is he let me ask question is he gonna have You think so he looks just like you. Yeah, is like you. Is he gonna have the same piece as you? Yeah, nice product. I mean, you know, you can't really tell just yet, but it looks promising.

I'm gonna grow into it. It looks promising, you know what I mean? He's got a little hang out. Well, Max does not have mine. He, I think he has the weather beside. Thank God. Yeah, yeah, I'm very happy about that. Calty, have you seen your sons? I have Is it you it's not he thankfully takes after my brother and was Really huge dogs on them. Yeah except my brother-in-law's.

They got a huge hog on them, yeah. I've seen Jack meet him. My brother-in-law. My brother-in-law's younger, he dated a really smoking hot chick one day, and he was showing me some naked pictures of her, and he thumbed too far, and he got into a picture that he was in, and I was like, holy shit, what was that?

I mean, it was that massive. Yeah, but you like a nice hammer? I like a mighty medium. I would say a mighty medium. Yes, just enough to go out No, no outches just enough to annoy you If you like medium and to be annoyed, I'll leave my number in the chat I've had I have many of girls to say that mine is perfect I'll leave my number in the chat. I have many girls to say that mine is perfect. Okay. Perfect. You also had your wife tell you to wrap it up.

Yeah, none of those girls are done. Well, I will see you guys next week. I have no shows coming up, I believe no idea. I just booked March. I believe I have Somewhere I don't know where I'm at, but I am going to Rubin February I will be there if you guys want to go the whole Tellrooms a cheap February vacation of any ladybugs want to go down there Be up to holiday in doing a few shows from the 18th to the 28th and then I'll be at my hegan sun Mohican suns in in March so Yeah, Ray Ellen. He's down there doing shows trying to keep the island alive kind of keep everybody tourism going and he's doing a great job at it So I'm going down there. I'll be out of this horse shit that God

And you guys are the best fans in the fucking world like I said before remember to check out Catherine Kelly Catherine Kelly YouTube channel and all of us on social media and If you remember here make sure you go to patreon.com slash robber Kelly You get the extra 10 we just did and you also get the Coltor and Kelly a Friday show, but you get these shows live You get to be in the chat room while it's going down and be a part of it like crumbum Melissa Even though crumbums was a little cutty today in the chat. That's okay. It's all right fat JC. Love you Love all you guys in there

Dante I miss you. I love you Joe. I I love you so much and Gabby Say it say it like I like you and mush a lot Don't say it. No, I love you guys. I love my call to the number one best friend. Thanks for popping in tonight, buddy. I asked him last minute to shoot in and he did. So I love you so much.

You guys are the best match. Yeah, same here, man. Pleasure. The best. You know what, dude? We'll see you next week. you