Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Joe List, Lindsay Adams

Episode Date: April 17, 2022

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Activia es único, porque a diferencia de otros, activia ha demostrado que sus millones de probióticos naturales llegan vivos a la microbiota. Y además ayuda a tu salud digestiva. Activia. ¿Sueñas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de post-grato en el extranjero, de la Fundación La Caixa, puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve.

Solicitate veca en fundación lacaixa.org. Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au, wanna be see! Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o Sensación de Vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Yes, the fact of YKWD podcasts, YKWD's back again Old school, back in the day, we're all starting before them all YKWD's podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules

Shut up, you're ruining this! Rhythmic propaganda, I'm sorry, it's a comedy podcast, this is an NPR That's the podcast done, is there any better show? This is the original original is it NPR? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any original? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any better show? Is there any is there any better show? Is there addition back in the day, addition when we're all stuck in our houses, uh, I am bringing to show, uh, to you today because it's a very special show. And we couldn't get it into the studio, uh, this week. So I did it here on stream.

You know, I'm excited to introduce my guest. One of them, you know them, you know him as a reg, uh, one of the regs Joe list aka the truth and Lindsey Adams who is a I've known for a while, but I don't know So this is like my first time like talking to you hanging out with you I don't even know you could be yeah, you could be you, you could secretly hate me. My thing with comedians, new ones, when I have them on, it's always like, oh, this could be cool, but this could be like some secret.

I can't wait to get on his show one day. Elham, what he did to me back in the cut. Yeah. And Cincinnati, like, you know, because I had a comment. I've had people do that to me, like on Facebook. Really? I recently just had a guy on Facebook, send me a message,

hey, what's up? Hey, we were in sixth grade together, Mr. D. I'm like, oh, I love Mr. D. And we started talking and he goes, then he's out of the blue, he's like, yeah, you threaten my life every day after school. And then I'll come out and you were never there. And I was like, oh my God, I am so sorry. I literally can't imagine thinking of someone other than myself enough

to do that. Oh, right. Just track you down. Yeah, he really hunted me. That's the second time that's happened. No, third time it's happened to me. It happened to me in college too. A guy we were going around the room and I was like, hey, I'm Bobby and the guy went, I know. I went, what? He goes, yeah, he took my walkman in, oh, shoot. In seventh grade. And then you took my mopehead a week later. It sounds like the problem is you, Bob. It was. I was an alcoholic. I was a fucking alcoholic. Yeah, and I was in a bully. I was a fucking alcoholic who was getting beaten in home and that reverberated out into the world. That's what happened. I was Democratic in alcoholic at the age of 10. I would love if Lindsey just sandbagged you right now.

I would love if she threw an ivy of profen at your cheek. Luckily the pill wouldn't fit in my mouth. She had to break it up. Oh my God. You have to snort your your headache medication? It's the most insane. No, I was also an alcoholic child. So I got to I actually have had people before be like, yeah, I remember you are an asshole. And I was like, I don't know what to tell you to. Yeah, I know. It's really not my fault, right? Don't we get a pass? What you say that you're not drinking anymore? You're like, I got my life together. I don't know. I, if someone who was mean to you and you were a kid was like, I,

I don't drink anymore, I would be like, but you still need to apologize to me on your knees. Um, I'll, I'll do that. Don't you think like, I hate this, that's the problem with being sober is you can't fuck up anymore because then you can't be like, well, now I'm this. We already did that. So now it's like, you just have to be good.

Yeah. That's the problem with it. Well, I can't go like give someone a wedgie and spit in their face, which is what my sexual fantasy, but I can't just go do that to somebody because I'm so right to be like, yeah, sorry. I'd have to like relapse just so I could make an excuse. I mean, you can. I mean, that's the beauty. You can do whatever you want. Then you can just be a redemption story. All right. I'll be right down.

Yes. There you go. You can just fuck shit up all you want. Lindsay's in my basement right now. I mean, I'm actually at my neighbor's house because the why I'm worried about the Wi-Fi. I got I got the joke. This fucking disturbing. See her throwing. I have you profernet your face while you're on your knees apologizing. Exactly. That's the scene.

I'm happy that that that person. I know I hated being that person. I hated I hung around with all those people. I, I don't know where you're from in Boston. Me? Yeah. I'm from Whitman. I'm from South Shore. So where I grew up, we were like, it was violent. Everybody was violent. It was very segregated. Irish live there, Italian lived there, blacks lived there, and we kind of ganged up at the parks. And every single person that I knew was a criminal. At the age of 12, everybody I was hanging out with

was a fucking criminal. And I was hanging out with 18-year criminal and I was hanging out with 18 year olds 30 year old men that were just criminals alcoholic drug addict violent criminals and that was all my friends and so It's weird to me when people tell me they about their childhoods and I'm like wow you You like you play with Legos and shit like

like like like I Don't none of that computes to me because I stopped that at a very young age. I stopped being a kid No, I was much more normal than that. I think but my friend. I mean there was tons of fights like I was just talking about this the other day. I think Lindsey you were there Yeah, I'm so afraid of the subway and all these people and bars and stuff, drunk people. But I'm like, that's because that's the life. I've seen so many people just beaten to a pulp. That was life in Boston. Like when I started doing comedy, I was a teenager.

And every night someone was getting bottled in the face. I saw a fight between, I've filled the store before in the pockets. I think I was in a strip club. That's when I was drinking. Uh, Lindsay, I don't agree with strip clubs anymore. They're bad. They're terrible. I agree with I hate them. I hate them. Anti strip club. I was in the back on the day, it was just boring and a waste of money. rather cook up with a crack core for 20 bucks and just get it over with.

Sorry. Um, but I saw a guy, I saw like a hell's angel guy hit someone in the face of the bottle and the bottle broke. It popped like a fucking photograph, like a, over the some guy's face. So anyways, I've seen the violence, but I wasn't part of it. I got in one fight in fifth grade with Jeff Mean, who was my best friend. He punched me in the head and I quit. I was like, all right, that's it. You win Mean, who was my best friend, he punched me in the head, and I quit. I was like, all right, that's it, you win. I was part of so many fucked up violent things.

I was beat up a lot. I mean, my friends. I remember I was like, I got one of my friends. I'm gonna be all sad. One of my friends punched me in the face. Like, we would fight each other. I was violent.

I was a violent kid. You look like you could be violent. I was a violent kid for sure. I had emotional issues. I had anger issues. I was an anger management when I was like, when I was like, like young, like young young. I was a, but I was also, I was also abused.

So I was like my, and not my grandparents, it was like my babysitter. So it was like, yeah, and I'm not bringing it out. It was fine. But was he hot? I'm Jesus. No, it was a girl. And that's why I don't like lesbian.

Um, spicy. Well, how much older was she? Sorry, everybody's like everybody's for everybody's all, you know, everybody likes everything now and I was pretty progressive. Um, she was, yeah, no, I was just like an angry, angry kid. I got fucking mad. I pushed people. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry.

I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry.

I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry.

I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm not going to get a blackmail on me. Everyone's always like, what is this thing? And I'm like it's New Jersey. It's me.

That's what it is. But I was violent. I used to I black mail. I got in trouble for blackmailing a kid when I was in third grade. What do you be? Blackmailing a cow? Do you blackmail? I, uh, wait, no, wait. No, he blackmailed me because I hit him.

That's, I got that wrong. He got in trouble. I threw him, I like threw him out of my seat. I got like very mad and it was like very violent and he was like, if you don't give me $10, I'm telling on you. And it was like, okay. My sister did that to me.

When I was a kid, she, she violently, I remember when I was really young, she threw a brick at my fucking head. One day we were outside and there was a huge ice column on the gutter. She goes, kick the gutter and get that for me. And I was a kid, I was a little kid, like younger than Max. So I kicked the gutter and it came down on my head.

And it went through it like I had a hole in my fucking head. And this is back when your grandmother would just be like, oh, it's okay. Just put some ice on it. And there's a hole in my skull. And then she took me one time. We got into a big fight at the house. She was babysitting, but she wasn't.

I think she might have been 10. We were both in one Z's. My mom was somewhere. My stepdad, who was abusing me, beating me was somewhere. And we were making tea. And my, I put my hand over the thing and my one Z caught on fire. And it just flash lit, you know, like all the fuzzies, just went, whoa, I just started crying. And she, we got into this big fight. And she took me by my ears and smashed my head on the corner of the wall, the molding,

and split my head open. And she grabbed me and she said, if you tell mom, you tell mom, you fell. If you tell her that I did this, I'm not calling the ambulance, or I'm not calling the, yeah, whatever. And I was like, okay. So I told my mother I fell.

I got in trouble for fucking around and lighting my onesion fire. So here, my mother shows up, I'm bleeding, I'm brown, my blue one's on the ground. And then years later, I told my mother, I go, I was in a fight, I was like, at least this is the one of Smash My Head, my mother fucking yelled at me for lying.

I couldn't win. This is terrible, it's very sad, but I had a line earlier, I didn't want it interrupt because it felt very emotional and you were just going with it, but I think it was good. You want to hear it or? Yeah, of course. Don't ever hold back. Well, you hit your head on the gutter. I guess that's why your mind is always in the gutter. Well, it was your help back. Wow. So did you beat the shit out of people Lindsey? Cause I feel like I'm terrified of you. No, I'm trying to give you two.

I was so, I was so, um, I mean, I was obviously so scared all the time that I just, I didn't beat the shit out of people, but I was violent. When I got older, I was like, I was violent in a way that was sadistic and weird. I would do shit. There was a group of girls that were bullied me endlessly when I was in middle school. And they finally accepted me,

but I was their henchmen at that point. And so like someone gave us like a dirty look in the girls' locker room and we were in like, I don't know, we were like 13 and I was like, you're getting my friend a dirty look. Fuck you. And she like gave me a dirty look. Dirty looks were like so apparently like horrific. That was like a big offense. And so I we were going into gym class and so we were indoors and I just body slammed her up against the concrete and this tiny girl and she just like fell back and hit her head and exactly I mean it. Exactly. You are

Will Smith side. I am Will Smith. And then my immediate reaction at that moment was to run over and go, Oh my God, are you okay? Are you as everybody is she okay? Is everybody is everybody checking on her? I don't know

what happened. I got so into the sport. I feel you do look like the white girl in the prison. Well, right now, yes. You just, you really, you really do look like the girl who like initiates. All right, this is the way things go. That's the teeth over there. Don't fuck with her.

That's, that's Jose's girl. I'm telling you right now. And now you're gonna hang with us because you're white. But listen, I'm gonna have to now. And now you're gonna hang with us, cause you're white, but listen. One of the take those earrings and those shoes from you. That's just the way it is, deal with it. I hate my childhood, I hate who I was. I hate where I grew up.

I hate the fact, fucking Boston was so violent, so racist, so fucked up when I grew up, that no parents didn't fucking hang with their kids didn't tell their kids to write from wrong. You just went out. You woke up, got the fuck out of house and hung with other kids and you did so much bullshit, depending on what shit kids you hung out with. And I hate my childhood. Looking back on it now, I despise what fucking these cock suckers turned me into. It really makes me sick. But it's time to let go, Bob. But I'm just digging into it now. It's so funny.

I just remembered something right now that I was involved with. Gasex? No, that's not bad. That's so bad. That's terrible. Not reliable. That's normal. Friends.

That's how you became friends. Fucking cranking each other off in a shed. Who cares? Come on. Well, let's be friends then, Bob. Nice sleepover under the covers. You suck. That's what men do.

You just suck each other off at sleepovers when you were like 10, right? That's normal. No, 10's a little old. I mean, I suck each other off. Go ahead. No, no one is ever suck me off. By the way, there's pictures of men

sucking each other off behind Lindsay's shoulder there. Kitsing and sucking dicks. What is that? Is it some French film you fucking loser? Yeah, that's right. Strangers by the lake. A great French film. You should watch it, Bobby. You'd like it. I'm what is it about? It's about a murder. It's a murder on the loot and there's really Lindsey, we should watch it while you're here. I own it. It's fun. It's when he comes up every time you're on. I'm streaming. Sorry. Can we talk about it

already? It's just like it's crazy. It's like gay porn, but with a murder plot. There's like, they showed Dix coming, like missionaries. Oh, I just came. This missionary gay sex, which is like the craziest gay sex. I actually had a really hard time understanding that for that actually is per for what year this was. I feel like they only showed one kind of gay sex. And so like the first time I saw missionary gay sex on screen, I feel like they only showed one kind of gay sex. And so like the first time I saw

missionary gay sex on screen, I was like, explain the logistics to me. You're gonna have a, you're gonna have a big dick and it's gonna be hooked upward. No, you gotta, no, you gotta tip the guy up like you're cleaning his diaper. Well, wait, and now, sure, but like the way it's portrayed in movies you can all it's one way it's one way You sure they weren't just cheek fucking no it was if they show the penetrate they show Yes, they show you gotta watch it. It'll be fun. We can all get our little dinks hard You know it's great out guess. You know, I try I'm watching right now and I'm literally did too much sex where I'm uncomfortable now.

Banshee. Have you seen Banshee? No, I don't know Banshee. Okay. Banshee is about these two jewels thieves that are in love with each other. The girl's father is a Russian Ukrainian mob guy. They wind up, they're still for him. They wind up turning on him, stealing from him. They chase him, they get caught. He goes to jail for 15 years so that she can get away. She runs away and goes to another town. He gets out, goes looking for the father tries to kill him. He finds out where she is. She goes

that she's got a husband and two kids. Okay, but the first night there, he's at a bar. These guys come in to fuck with the bar guy who's this black old black dude who used to be in jail too. And there's another guy there, the new sheriff in town, who's new. They the mayor brought them in because the town's so corrupt by this Dutch guy from this, this, um, this, um, um, ex, um, a guy who runs everything now. Um, so they brought this new sheriff in the, has no family, no ties, no Facebooks. He winds up fighting these guys dies. It's a lot, right? But here's the thing, they fuck so much in this dude. There's at least three fucks in every episode. And I'm talking, banging, like you see,

you don't see penetration, but and every girl in it has like be cups or beneath. So the writer must be into small breasts, which I love too. I love it. I like it. I like a little, I like a little titty. I don't know, but I don't mind a little joint smoking. Like the truth is.

But it's so, do this anytime a girl comes in, like a new cast member, you're like, trees. But it's so do this anytime a girl comes in like a new cast member you're like, yeah, oh, that's our. Oh, my God. I watch this. I love that guy. He's great. You know, he is, right? No, I have no idea. The boys, he's the lead superhero in the boys. What's the boys? The boys. You don't know what the boys? The boys on Amazon, right? You don't know what the boys, the fucked up Amazon, the superhero show with their violent. No, I just have bad eyesight. I'm not a fucking nerd.

I just have glasses. What does that mean? What are you saying? I don't watch superheroes shit. I'm cool. I watch like documentaries and films. Yeah, I know. You're a fucking such a snob. You and Rob. You're a xenophile. I watch like documentaries and films. Yeah, I know you're fucking such a snob you and rock

Your xenophile I am a xenophile pedophile Stupid angelica theater films you talk about yes, I like to fuck that looks so bad. Are you watching that Robert? First of all don't come me Robert. Yeah, don't when you try to degrade me. Don't use my my fucking Robert fuck you. Do you watch it with max at least? Let's say no max can't watch it dude the first episode this whole thing is what if superheroes were real They would be Egotistical they would be psychos the first episode the guys walking with his girl and they're in love and it's so beautiful

And then they're holding hands and they're in love and it's so beautiful. And then they're holding hands and they're about to kiss. And then all of a sudden, she just explodes like blood just everywhere. And he's just holding her hands. That's a period. Women are periods, Bobby. No, I was wondering. The guy who was the flash, whether the fast guy in the superhero,

he's on fucking like crack. So he ran through her and just exploded her. Oh, wow. He just murdered his love of his life by accident. It's so funny. That's actually so funny. Yeah, that's her, right, Nancy? That's her?

That's the blue? See the blue behind him? Can we play that scene real quick? That's all her blood that he ran through her at nine billion miles an hour. He just ran through this chick. Lindsay, how do you feel about grown men who watch comic book shows, not with their sons that they have? Why do you have to believe me? I'm not bullying. I'm asking. I'm trying to get a third opinion here. I think that you're a child and it's embarrassing and I'm wondering what a woman thinks. I think if it brings you, it's, no, go ahead, Bobby. What is a woman think? You are in.

All right. Each of you are a woman. Congratulations, Nancy. No, I'm just kidding. No, I don't, for whatever reason, comic books aren't like especially nerdy for me. I go in on anime nerds and my husband watches anime. But for me, the, for some reason, that, that, that, like, ignites the bully and me more than comic books.

Comic books I get, you want like your escape and you have fun. For some reason, it's not as annoying to me. Well, how do you feel about comic book movies though, like the Marvel movies and all that stuff? I think they're fun. Thank you. They're fun. I like bad movies too though.

So you said they are bad movies? Well, they're, I can, I enjoy falling asleep in the movies. So like you're not asking the best person. I love sleeping in the movies. So like you're not asking the best person. I love sleeping in the movies. So you're saying that you fall asleep during these boring fucking childish movies? Yeah, I fall asleep during John Wick. I fall asleep during literally any movies.

So if it's a good, if you, if it's long enough and there's enough time for me to nap, then it's a good movie. I'm more of a film person than Joe and let me tell you why. I'm more of a love of the art form than Joe because Joe only loves a certain type. Good. All. You know what I say? I love westerns, sweaty westerns, I love a new car, I love old movies, new movies, classical movies. I love porn movies. I love all movies. And he loves just what the cool kids,

like what Greg Proops would approve of. That's what he likes. Who's Greg Proops? I don't like Greg Proops. I don't know who Greg Proops is. I like good quality movies. And anime, let's, let's all agree. Anime is worse. Lindsey brings up a good point. Anime is like, Bob, you don't watch anime, do you? No, can I do shut up, Bush? No, I mean, I disagree

with that statement. Bush watches anime. I want the guy behind the camera watches anime shotgun. Yeah. Well, there's a big I don't watch like Pokemon but I watch from Miyazaki movie. Yeah, exactly art, right? Yeah, it literally is. So I listen. I know my husband is gonna hear this and be like fuck yourself. I Listen, I can I say something I watched anime with my kid Max likes I forget what it's called dragon something Morgan ball Z. No, not that I Like Hustle was a great movie you watch that cockled hustle not cockled. That's you That's what hustle. Not cockled, that's you. That's what you do. You cockled.

Come to the Hustle's an amazing movie. No, it's Kung Fu Hustle. That's the panda. It's a great movie. That's the panda movie? No, that's not the panda movie. That's panda, that's Kung Fu Panda, you fucking... You're a fucking snob. It's what you are. Panda that's kung fu panda you fucking

You're a fucking snob is what you are I would you to really keep thinking I'm getting it right I keep thinking I'm like I know that you're a you're a snob is what you are you're you're you're a you're a you're into A certain type of film. That's it. You're good at certain types of film. I am a whole cinematic fan. You're a genre fan. I'm not a it's not genre. I like drama. I like Westerns. I like I don't like most action movies. What's that? That's cuckold hustle. No, that's all those guys were fucking his wife. those guys were fucking his wife. If you're gonna be a cuckold, no one never gets an Asian bull. That's not a porn, right? No one gets an Asian guy to fuck his wife. A cucklo puzzle.

It's a movie. It was a joke. That is Kung Fu Hassel and it's a fucking great flick. All right, I'll check it out. It's a comedy. It's a comedy Kung Fu movie. Did you see the worst person in the world? Best movie of the year. I don't know. I don't know. She's a guest. Not her. guest. Not her. Sure should beat up a bunch of kids in school. We got molested by a lesbian, but she still looks like using

fuck it Oz. She's a she's the star of the color of orange. What does that show? No, that. That was I messed up my joke. Don't do it. Orange is a new black. Yeah, don't help me with that one. I fucked up my joke don't do it orange is in the black. Yeah, don't help me with that one. I fucked up my stink You ever like you ever like slap a guy around kick him around in the bedroom at all You feel like a person that would like shove a high heel in a guy's ass or step on a belt. No, no Not my game. No, I got the wrong impression. I know you would think it's an easy mistake But no you think it's an easy mistake, but no, you would think it's just not my

No, what kind of music do you have to have on do you have to have music on? Don't me for sexy But I know Joe probably has Neil Simon on or like Simon's a playwright you dumb them Alright, you dumbed them. I mean, Paul Simon. Paul Simon. Paul Simon, sorry.

No, we can't have music because the lyrics fuck with that. We, Sarah and I have the same thing. If there's lyrics, you start listening and you're like, wait, did he say? Yeah, it's too, anything that's like distracting, it's too, there can't be any media.

Because that was, No, not rock, you don't like a yacht rock like sailing. Oh, it's really, absolutely not. I'm going. Oh, You don't like a yacht rock like I just feel bad that I misread you I just picture you being like yeah put that tiny dick in me you fucking I Complex person I I like to leave more to be revealed. But yeah, you would think no, randomly no. It actually feels like a lot of that feels like a lot of work. I don't want to do all

that. Yeah. Very lazy. I don't like that either. I don't I've never liked that. I've had a couple girls ask me to do that. I had a girl do it to me and I just got mad. I'm like, don't hit me. I told you this before I went to do that. I had a girl do it to me and I just got mad. I'm like, don't hit me. You know what I mean? I'm impressed. Yeah, I told you the story before I went to years ago, I would go up to like the strip clubs in Montreal when I was like 19.

Everyone in Boston from 18 to 21 just goes to these strip clubs up in Montreal and ruins the city. And we paid for like two ladies to like, you know, eat each other out or whatever. I was a kid, I was drunk, I'm a different guy. But one of them was like, she was French Canadian. She was like, what's your name? And I was like, Joe, and she's like, oh, Joe,

you got such a small dick. I can't do accents. It sounds like she was French. No, he's going. She was like, oh, Joe, you got a tiny little dick. I'd never be like, what? Don't say I have a tiny, I don't like that. That sucks. You give six and a half hours.

Did you told you have a tiny crack? Yes, yes, and it was like it was all of my money. My son, that means stripper. I need to go to Montreal. I was a funny thing is you didn't even need to go to Montreal. You just go to Albany and fucking get the same fucking action. You just go to Albany and fucking get the same fucking action. And then I had the other woman, I had sex with the woman. I've told, I don't do a bit about the lady. In heart, this is Sarah's like favorite story. It was in Hartford, Connecticut, and this, I've met her after the show,

and she was like, come back to my house. And she had like a Mustang, and she was driving like a hundred miles an hour, like weeping in and out of traffic. And she kept playing the Buck Cherry song. You're a crazy bit. You're a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good you're on top of it. And then she was like fucking me all crazy and like she would hit me and like get on top and was like doing all the

and she kept calling me a nerd. You're a nerd fantasy. I was. I was a nerd fantasy and I was like I'm not a nerd. I mean I did a bit about it years ago, but I was like I'm like I'm a good at sports. I almost failed at a high school. I hate sci-fi. I don't play chess I'm like I'm sorry you get the wrong guy. She wanted a fuck weird science She's pretending to be Kelly LeBrock and he would just the nerd with a bra on your head Did she put a bra on you? No, and she actually got mad at me though. She drove me back to my hotel. Like she's like, I'm taking you back and then she did the same. You weren't nerfy enough?

Yeah, and I think I just wasn't, I don't know, I think she thought I was gonna be like, yeah, time me up or whatever, but I was really sad. I was like, you can at least stop it. You're gonna pull out an abacus. You didn't fulfill the fantasy enough that I love the idea that you got so pissed she was like what you're a fucking nerd. Yeah I know and I was like no I'm actually like pretty cool like I am a comic and just be a nerd. You didn't put a Pokemon keychain and stop and some fucking Nintendo. No, it's like you want Bobby Kelly. He's the fucking nerd. I am a man.

Dude, I am a secret nerd. I'm fucking a man. I am a, I'm a, I'm a, I have, I love gadgets. I love all kinds of techy stuff. I walk into a,

and I connect with like dungeons and dragons kids, you know, like those nerdy motherfuckers. I don't play that shit But I like those people. I like mush mush is the fucking nerd of all nerds Mushra's waiting for me outside Mushra's the guy producing the show. He's the guy behind the camera He was waiting for me outside the fucking San Antonio laugh it up and we hung out We just hung out. We just hung out and when it didn't nerdy shit,

we got a character, John, I electrocuted him at the ball. I mean, this all sounds very wholesome. And to be clear, I just want to rewind. Anime is great, it's art, it's fine. I just, you guys can have that. I also, are there actually nerds anymore or is everything just fine? Because everybody's very into being like,

I'm a nerd too and it's like, we're all nerds, right? No? Well, they're now taking over. Jerd, nerds, what? Sorry. Jermin is friends of taking over. The nerds, there's no more cool kids. I am a cool kid on the outside. Like when I came up, we were

fucking all cool motherfuckers. Now it's all nerds. It's all skinny guys dressed like they're going to the park to fucking throw a football around. Everybody on stage has quarter ois and t-shirts and hoodies and cookie shirts and a little scruff. Some type of glasses, the same little fucking dumb haircut. Nobody's wearing leather jackets anymore. Nobody's fucking in shape. Nobody's fucking shredded. We're in fucking tight jeans and putting their cock to the left, to the right. Everybody's fucking... Everybody wears underwear now. It's a fucking nerd fest out there.

None of this makes sense. None of this makes sense. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fui paraas! Vuelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Fucking danzota, Joe. Fucking, uh, uh, was Mark, his friend. Uh, they're all fucking nerds. First of all, Norman is like ripped. He's a nerd, he's not ripped, he's a nerd, he'll run.

The sooner somebody goes after, hey, nah, it's comedy, I'm sorry,'m sorry. Hey, I know back in the day Jim Norton was so tough. He was just a tough guy. I was. Yeah. Pick the one guy. Yeah. He was scary because at any point he could bite you and you get AIDS and you'd be fucking petrified. Yeah, I'm sure Colin Quinn was just beating the shit out of everybody back in the day. Kyle Quinn was fucking tough, Joe. Oh, was he? Yeah. It's got serious just. Dude, Colin Quinn, I would never fuck with Colin back in the day. Colin, I mean, let's be honest, dude, I would mean, comment, when we went, we went on that tour to Japan, the USO tour. He was just eating up Asians.

We fought. Who'd you fight? Oh, you and Colin fought. We fought a couple times, dude. Oh, I'm on Colin's side. Like physically? Yeah. We would drive. No, no, no.

We would drive. I'm mad. No, we would drive it to a college once. And I pissed him off. He just got lasex surgery and he went and bought these stupid spence of for higher shades. He had to wear sunglasses and they were just dumb. And I'm like, dude, you have money by a pair of sunglasses, buy a good pair. And he's like, no, he's a good. I'm like, how much were the, he's like, do a five bucks. So I took him in through the amount on the

highway. And then he, he punched me on the side of the head. Oh my God. And then I spit coffee all over the windshield inside so we couldn't see we almost done either. Jesus. Praise. We were both howling. We were laughing so hard. We had a pullover on the bike.

It was so funny. Yeah, you guys were cool. That is cool. Yeah, that does sound like the difference between nerds and cool people. I think I Fucking fight each other you guys fucking philosophize. Hey guys You know you cool. Do you think you're a cool person? Do you identify as cool? She's fine

She threw a kid off a chair and second grade of course she's cool. I Emotionally disturbed. I think I'm actually so scared all the time and so insecure for I try to present. I really do try to present as cool, but then sometimes I just say something and everyone's like, whoa, no, don't do that. So no, I don't identify as cool. I just want everyone to think I am. Oh, well it works. I thought you were cool. Great. Thanks. That was what I was looking for. Now how long have you been married?

We just got married in October. Oh no shit. You got a public married. Yeah. Yeah. We, but why were together for 14 years? We've been together forever. Is he a comedian? No. Oh good for you. No. No offense show.

No, it's great. He's not a good married. Joe married a very funny person. My fear is that I would marry somebody that would either be funny or not funny and I would have to like help her. But no, she's good guys. Come on. Cut us some slack. I wouldn't. Yeah. Lewis, Lewis has to do every six months. I wouldn't know how to handle it. Yeah, I mean, I look at relationships with like Joe and Sarah and it's like, okay, that's easier because you've got it. Like, they're both funny. Right.

But I don't have other friends. What is fun in the other one? Let's be honest. I mean, Sarah is fucking hilarious. Right. Um, but no, I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I could. Now Bobby has always been like, you don't date a comedian. I would never date a comedian. It's so silly. Oh, dating comedians is great. Yeah. You hate all the same people. You get to

shit on all the same people. And you can go on the road together. They understand comedy. They get it. They're also equally cynical. Like you see someone fall and crack their head open. You're both like, that's hilarious. They deserve it. You know what I mean? And then when you date a non-comedy and no offense to you got, or married, no offense to you too, they come in. You got to listen to them be like, oh, I was at the fuck at work today in Bruce. He's the guy I told you about with the long hair. You've never met him or seen him. You don't care about him. They have to explain every fucking idiot they work with.

We're comedy. Sarah's like, I saw Bobby. He sucks. We both hate him. You know what I mean? And we're like, yes. Yes, he's mean. He's a bully.

Yes. So call me a bully. You're a bully. You're a bully. You're a nerd bully. Every story you have, you're like, I took Collins reading glasses and wrote them. Yeah, you were like, I'm scared of Collins.

And then you just helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him.

I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. I helped him. through the mouth and then we went and got better glasses. Together. Yes, together we went in and went to a sunglasses hot and he got a nice pair of Ray bands. What he should have had because he was famous at the time.

He's calling fucking Quinn. You don't wear on the street glasses. You don't see it look like an idiot too. They didn't even fit his fucking thin Irish head. Let's go. You call, if you call forcing my friend to be better, helping, I call it an intervention. You nerds can call whatever you want. Okay.

If you're stopping my glasses, I'm gonna be bummed. I would know real glasses. Joe is a low key mean girl. Yeah, he is. He's a low key mean girl. What are you? Yeah. Oh, I see that for you actually. I really do. What do you mean? Like I'm hot. I'm hot and talented. And I'm the star of a fucking hilarious amazing film. What are mean? What are mean girls talented? Mean girls. They saw the movie right when they're all dancing.

They do that dance number that we've all jerked off to upon. You watch that. And you didn't see. You didn't see fucking Marvel movie, but you watch mean girls. Mean girls is amazing. Watch me, and you didn't see talent. You didn't see fucking a Marvel movie, but you watch Mean Girls? Mean Girls is amazing. Oh my God.

You're a misogynist. How about that? Yes. I've known, I know. Oh, thank you. I am. Women's stink, sorry. Lindsey, I had to give Bobby $300

to let you be on the show. Yeah, fuck you. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. It doesn't look so natural. I can't look into those two fucking dudes.

Why is one red? Did he not use sunblock? I'm not sure, man. Well, that's why I was like, is this an interracial movie? What? Yeah. No, they're all, friend. Well, one might be like Latino.

It's a great movie. You got to see it. It's really fantastic. Is it subtitles? Yeah. Great. Yeah, those are fun. Nobody loves read fucking nerd.

I can read them aloud to you. Hey, you can read them aloud. Actually, that would be, I would like to, I would be interested in a read aloud some title movie. I would love to see you. Yeah, if I'll watch that movie of you and Ronan read the character, you do the characters. Do we have to, yeah, you have to fucking. You have to do it live accent. Yeah, here's my thing with

missionary gay sex or oh, wow. Something bad. Here's my thing with missionary gay sex or oh wow. It's not that bad. Here's my thing with missionary gay or pegging, which Bob, you've been pegged, Don, pegged you? No, don't is it never peg me. My thing is don't the legs get heavy? Like holding a man like a way is like twice as much as a lady. Yeah, but if you're, if you're a woman, pegging a guy, would you peg them?

You peg them missionary or do you peg them? That's what I'm talking about missionary. Don't you peg them, doggy? You can do both. I'm just going to go there. What's the best way to take it in the bus? On your side with your knees up to your chest, doggy or missionary.

I think doggie easiest, but here's my thing. I talked about this recently on another podcast, but if I'm getting pegged, which I'm not, just because Sarah's not into it, but if I'm getting pegged, I got to see tits in a face or else it's, it's too weird. It's just an experience that yes. I want to see the titties. So let me ask you a question though. Wouldn't doggy position be that, that would be the, I think that would be the worst.

I was just going to say, I think it's, I think that would actually be the worst. Yeah, like pulling your knees up to, like lying on your back and pulling your knees up on your chest like you're on a squatty potty Yeah, be the best way. There's no also you're out of control when you're in doggy style You're really just like giving the reins over So that's how you want to be peds But I had a girl who wanted to do that back in Boston when I lived there. She's like, I want to fuck you. That was rare back in the day.

It was, yeah, the squirrel. She was really kinky and she's like, I want to fuck you. I was like, cool. She's like, no, I want to fuck you in the ass. I was like, I got it the first time. Let's go. Let's do it. No need to over-explain you, fucking poor.

And she was like, all right, we'll go get it. I was like, I'm not buying it. I'm you get it. I'm not going to buy the thing and that she was like, well, I'm going to pick it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, we're going to go over a catalog. It's mine or less. It's not that it's going to be thin Right. It's gonna be, what do you mean thin? I don't have a thin penis. No. No. No. First of all, the fact that you don't know

what my dick looks like is good, because I've never shown you my penis. And I've seen, I know what your penis looks like. Eggs, I could sketch your penis. If your penis did a crime, I could go down to the police station and sit with the sketch artist and be like, that's it right there.

That's who you're looking for. Well, I don't know. We have a difference of opinion on humor. And you know, Lindsey's from LA, they're a little more woke there, but I think it's funny during a FaceTime call with a dear friend, a close friend in the middle of the call to hand down and show my penis. That's not funny to me. You're in a FaceTime call with a close friend. Lindsay, it's new.

Here's the problem. When you're talking about how sad you are being on the road missing your family and you're opening up to something and then going down to some type of shaft and you don't know what it is at first because you in your brain like you would never do this in the middle of my

Opened up and then yes, he has Bobby's like yeah Max has been acting up lately. I just don't know how to help him I just don't know and he's like I just need like Somebody to lean on right now, and then I'll just go look at my penis. That's funny. That's comedy I if I had a dick, I wouldn't be problematic, I think. Because that to me is funny. I don't want to be on the receiving end.

I think that's right. That's not what I want. But I've had dreams where I've had a dick and the only thing that in my dream, when I realize I had a dick and the only thing that in my dream when I realize I have a dick the only thing that I want to do is show everybody. It's like go out into the world and show everyone my dick. So I don't know what that means. But I know that it means that I shouldn't. Are you like new things? It means you're cool and hilarious.

But I also, yeah, no, I mean, like, I mean, I think it's hilarious in the dream. I'm really, it's happened multiple times. I don't know what that means, but. I do. No, you know, that lesbian thing really fucked you up as a kid. I want to be clear here because, you know, I don't want people to think I'm some kind of problematic person.

This is a person I'm very close with. Bobby married us. Bobby was the priest or whatever you call it. What's that? What do you call it guy that have sex with children? Bobby, he officiated the one. Yes, he officiated my wedding. Once someone officiates your wedding, you get to show them your penis unprovoked

I Wish you you know I wish you sent me those rules before you asked me if I could have read that over like did I get to show? Oh, dude you got to be at the wedding on time you could have say something like this Oh, yeah, and I get to show you my dick for the rest of your life anytime I want to. I wish you I knew that. Well, I think it's fun and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

There. You have to apologize. Clearly it's upsetting. It's upsetting that he's going to light this cigar. Did you have a friend officiate your wedding, Lindsey? No, we just did a courthouse. All right. Yo, good for you.

What does your husband do? Um, he's a graphic designer. Um, and, uh, but he, he plays music and rights and just does a bunch of shit. That's why he loves anime. Hardest. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my, my husband's a nerd. I mean, my husband is like a nerd.

He's into all the stuff that I make fun of. And like if I fall asleep and I see that like on Hulu, he's been watching some like animation. I like first thing in the morning and like, what the fuck is this? This is what I fall asleep with. This is what you're doing. Um, but yeah, no, he's into all the stuff that I think is stupid and dumb and I love him for it. My wife hates my taste too.

My wife hates my taste too. She's, I try to get into this banshee stuff. She goes, why don't you just jerk off? It's go watch a porn. This is fucking stupid. I'm like, Don, I don't, I didn't write this. I like the show, but every time this fucking, there's just somebody fucking an Amish person is fucking somebody and the guy's fucking somebody and there's no gay sex though. It's all straight sex. That's surprising to me.

I thought there'd be, it's, you know, a little, you know, somebody would fuck. There is a, to be it's a little, you know, somebody would fucks. There is a cross dresser in it, a Chinese cross dresser, a hacker. He's a genius hacker cross-trecker dresser that kicks ass. God, you just described me cross-dressing genius hack. cross dressing genius hack. So anyways, I want to talk to Joe for a second about your movie is coming out. Yes. You want to do a weekend in theaters that you're in that I'm in. Did I now the final cut because I was with Louis on tour while he was editing it.

And it was fucking amazing to me. The scenes in the, there's one scene that you do in the movie, I'm not gonna spoil it at all. But it's so fucking intense in anybody with a family and I don't think it's just a, anybody anywhere with a family, a big family or even a few people is going to relate to this movie and it's going to hit you because it kept hitting me. It was very relatable to me. I have a big Irish Catholic family from Boston and the people in it are just so fucking,

I know that guy. I know her. I have that person in my life. And then when you have this big moment, and I was fucking in tears, dude. Fucking tears. Oh wow. You thought me in tears a couple times watching. It's just really emotional. But then it's very funny, hilarious movie. But it's not it's not a Adam Sandler film. It's not that, it's actually a really great movie. This, I call it a beautiful little comedy, you know? So is this gonna go out in theaters? Is it gonna be on, you know, streaming only? What is it gonna do?

It's gonna be in theaters, we have a movie coming, I mean, Lindsay and I haven't even talked about this. Lindsay, I've heard. Yeah, what? Phil coming, I'm the star of that I co-wrote and Bobby Kelly's in it and Sarah Talamash and um the stuff that you and Sarah were was fucking surreal surreal surreal beautiful. I mean, no, I was dead. It was so surreal and dreamlike and beautiful. It was so, I loved it.

I loved her and it, man, too. She was so, because here's the thing. When you do a movie with people you know, right? You run the risk of them stinking, right? Yes. You run the risk. I've seen people like when I was on the Dennis Leary show, even like I was part of this Bronx warrants thing.

You're like, oh, it's going to be great. And then you get in the room and the cameras are on and then they fall the fuck apart. And you're like, fuck me. None of that hat. I mean, everybody killed their scene and killed their part in the movie. I feel. Oh, thank this is this is really helping. This is making me feel good. I'm excited. But yeah, it's going to be in theaters. We have a distributor guy who's working on it. It's going to open 4th of July weekend. It'll be out in theaters for a month and then it will go streaming.

And I hope people go see it. I hope people don't hate it. But yeah, I think it's good. But yeah, it's pretty dramatic. It's emotional. I mean, yeah, Sarah cries. It makes me cry. We shut her sister. She was bawling. That's so exciting. I can screen it for you, Lindsey. I mean, yeah, Sarah cries. It makes me cry. We showed her sister. She was bawling

That's so exciting. I can screen it for you Lindsey. I have it. I'm like, I want to I'd rather watch that than this shit Well, there's no missionary Jackson it Should be though. Yeah, well, there was one scene with Sarah with a hot Latino in a bathroom But it didn't get cut. And so now there's just, we just did that. No. We just did it for fun.

Hey, did any of my stuff get cut? Am I still in it? You're barely in it, but when you are in it, it's good. No, you're a huge part of it. You're like the big scene. I don't want to get, because you're a surprise, too. You make a comeback comeback and it's like It's yeah, don't give a lot of way because that's the one thing too when you're in a movie and it's happened to me before where you like Yeah, and you do them and then all of a sudden you see it and you're not in it that happened to me

Dane Cook's first movie whatever whatever you know, whatever it was I was in we improvised this whole scene and it was great Now I was in that went to the premiere and all this shit was great the second movie I was in. We improvised this whole scene and it was great. Now I went to the premier and all this shit was great. The second movie I was in, we saw it a bigger scene and it just got fucking lopped out of the movie and nobody told me and it was sad. You're sitting there like waiting for the scene to come and it never comes. And then he'll like, ah, fuck me. Like I'm not I was it wasn't even the bonus extras on the DVD. Oh, that's rough. A day of my life was just they went, yeah, not good enough. I don't know what it was. I just cut it out. So, you know, yeah, we cut a lot of there's a lot of comedians Cut from the New York stuff. We cut a lot of New York stuff, but no you're in it. You're a huge part of the movie and

Our scenes were great. You're great. I'm very excited. It's awesome. Yeah, it really is. There's a lot of surprise guests in it It's called fourth of July and it comes out. Yeah, Fourth of July. Yeah. Fourth of July. It's nervous. Fucking great. Don't be nervous because it's done. The work. Exactly. The results of the results.

But it's done. You made a piece of art. You know, your type of art too. It's not like, you know, a fucking, it's not like you have superhero powers. Or you can, you know, a fucking, it's not like you have superhero powers, or you can, you have holy shit observational skills. No, it's an art house piece is what it is. Is that what you got? Right. But yeah, I hope it, hopefully, I don't know, hopefully it does well. I'm terrified. As the closer we get, the more I'm like, oh my god, I should kill myself.

Well, that would help the movie. Yes, please. That's a good point. That's a good point. If you're looking for publicity stunt. Do it right now on this show. We'll use this clip. You just making that wall red.

I'm looking around. I'm at Steve Steve Rogers's house. Oh, even better. Yeah, even better upstairs. We'd hear the gunshot twice. Is there. And then we'd hear it in the his camera. Yeah, I do like.

Is there anything worse than asking your neighbor to use their apartment for a podcast? And then there's just brains all over the fucking office. And actually, I would honestly be such a move. If that's what they had to say at your funeral, how was I supposed to know? You want to use it for podcasts? They would move. He would move right down to your open apartment downstairs because Sarah can't afford it.

But what is that word after move up to that little one? Well, should collect, I mean, if the movie does well, should be collected money for years. I got points on this thing. So everyone goes see it. There you go. Points. Ooh, that's right. Percentage points for those for the layman layman.

Layman? I don't know the word cliff-clavin. What's a layman? Is it not the part of a vagina? The layman? Isn't how they make legs for tables. These are layman. Layman.

And Lindsay, you're doing why you in New York? What are you doing? I'm just doing shows. I'm just doing fun shows. Miss Cam and do shows and you live in LA now. I live in LA. You like LA? Yeah, I mean, yes and no. I think everybody, I don't know. I like that. I'm like a weather transplant. I don't like the winter anymore. So I'm a pussy, but LA is fine.

You got any hooks though? Yeah, okay, it's insane. Yeah, there's tons of, it's insane. It's specifically madness. Everyone's not to your constantly in fear of your life. But other than that, I think it's cool. Everyone is rude. Yeah. So we're California used to be the, Hey, man. Hey, man, peace out, man. Love. Well, people still pretend, but I think think like especially like after like everything opened up again Like people are more psychotic than I've ever seen that like truly unhinged unwilling to hide it Really like what like give me an example

Like just like they're like people are just like openly just starting fights in line at the grocery store Just like in these situations where they normally wouldn't be saying something, they'll like have an outburst of just been like, are you fucking kidding me? And it's like, this was, that's towards your mom. You're not, you've been holding that in for a long time. Like, that's not for this man in front of you who took five minutes. Well, I think people, because we see everything now

on the internet and we watch these clips of people flipping out or a neighbor getting mad cause some dudes fishing on a pond near his house or somebody's parked in front of the wrong place and they see these people flipping out Karen's or whatever. It's okay to do that now. That's like the norm is to let somebody know

how you fucking feel. And also everybody's got a camera. And back in the day, you just get punched in the fucking face. And people don't do that anymore, you know. I think it's because there's no more bullies. I think bullies were good. I think bullies were helping. I think more evidence of Bobby's bulliness.

Bullies were helping shut people up. Like Joe bullying me right now, I would just go over and choke him and go, don't do that anymore, but I can't. He put me, I'm kidding Joe. It's starting to sound an awful lot like you're on the fresh princess side. Oh my God, fresh prince, how crazy was that?

Oh, how? This is what I heard one guy say it. I think it was p-ditty, was like, yo man, Chris got a chin. What a chin. My reaction was how like he took that so well. That was, if I got slapped like that by Chris, reaction was how like he took that so well. That was, uh, if I, if I got slapped like that by Chris, I would have went, Oh, like not

even a, like a, uh, Chris took it and went, I was going, we'll, we'll smooth to slap the shit out of me. That was some gangster shit, not to take it, not even an owl or rub your face. He didn't even rub his face. He just took the fucking smack. And then went the nominees with best. He was awesome. I love Chris and Chris is such a better comedian than Will Smith is an actor. Chris was all class Will Smith sucks. He's a piece of shit. I hate him. And I didn't like him before. Chris rules. I love him. Chris fucking he really does rule. I'm telling you, he stood there while they were getting the best documentary. Handed the trophies. He just got bitch slapped and really hard.

And handed them the trophies and stood up there and walked off with them when he was supposed to. Dude, I would, I would eat the cried or fucking, I would have definitely said, how, what would you have done, Joe, if you got smacked the face? It's hard to say. First of all, I don't think I, I would you have done, Joe, if you got smacked in the face? It's hard to say. First of all, I don't think I, I guess Chris Dott Will was gonna, I would have, as soon as he got out of his chair, I would have just taken off. Like, all right, I'll just hide in the back or something.

I don't know, I mean, as you may or may not know, I've been taking mixed martial arts for some time now. So I might have done a little, I would have done like a little bit of a, ah, you know what I mean? Little elbow to the face. A what? Like, an elbow.

Yeah, show me again. Like a, this is like a slicing elbow. You come down, pa, cut his eye, bang. And then I come up here, pa, I would have done this book. I would have seen you, I would, I'd guarantee you would have ran away like Benny Hill. We could have played that music, Ben and then, and then, and then. You know what happened though? I don't have as much. I, don't, I'm not as cool.

It's, if he came and slapped me, I would have been like, you're getting a fuck, you're gonna win a lifetime achievement award. No one likes your acting, you're getting this award because you make Hollywood money, you're a shit actor, and the way the Academy works is they feel bad for you because you keep trying. You keep doing dramas.

We are like, oh, it's the same fucking movie. You have no skills, but the Academy gives away awards to people that make that money. We literally feel bad for you. So you're gonna get a best actor, you don't deserve it. And your wife is a kind fuck her. I would have done one of those, like a gulman, just really just snapped on an audience member.

I mean, the sad part is I'm going to have to delete this movie because when, I mean, this part of the, I'm going to have to delete this whole podcast when it comes out, because when his movies up for best new movie and wills actually giving the award out and this surfaces, I think about this all the time. I have a movie podcast where I just talk about how Robert Redford's like a piece of shit. And then I have a feature film coming out. They're going to pull it up.

Yeah. You have to delete a lot of shit because when you're at Sundance and Redford's like, I want to say this movie was probably one of the best greatest movies. And then one of those dumb fans tweets you go and fuck that rink-a-leave prune-face cock-second doesn't know a good film if he was sitting in it. I know, it's a good point. I'm getting nervous now.

I shouldn't have called him a piece of shit. No. It sucks about being a comic is that we constantly have to be honest with our opinions in the funny way. And it's out there and podcasting has ruined us. Oh, yeah. I mean, do you ever do a podcast and then you want to like just do sub notes on it. You just want to like make sure people know that your opinion change.

Make sure you feel a specific way or correct it. Call your husband a nerd and you do fake. I help. I see your act of comic. You need to. Exactly. I didn't know if you guys knew what I meant when I was doing this. No, we understood what I mean.

Listen, we're going to go into the overtime real quick. That was the YKWD free version that's on YouTube. Subscribe, subscribe, comment, and like. Please share this if you can. And if you want to go into the overtime with me, please go to robbercally. patreon.com.stash.robercally right now. And we're going to go over there, ask some questions

of our two guests, talk about another topic that I want to talk about. And just a little overtime with these guys. It's been a great show. I'm so glad that Joe asked me. He's like, Hey, Lindsay's here for a day. He wanted to do a positive fucking. Yeah, absolutely, because we've known each other for a while from a distance. We've really talked or hung out. So now we have Joe has been very, very pro you. So yeah, I'm just pushing you all over.

very pro you. So yeah, I'm just pushing you all over. So nice. Next time you stay at my house, it's a fun. I know I'm like, no, she just seems horrible. She seemed like a horrible person, but I swear. Yeah, that's where she's cool. You didn't, you don't know what's going to come out. I'm now I'm really anxious about that. I keep doing this. I keep calling Will Smith a piece of shit.

And I'm going to be at the Oscar. And you know, best actor from the previous year gives best actor away to the next year. So when I went best actor, it's going to be awkward. Please, please let this happen, God. Please, Joe's film, Skyrocket to success. Bring the Woody Allen of our times back into the industry mainstream let Joe win best actor and let Wilson vans present Wilson vans.

I will Smith. That's a lot of. I would love it. Why did daddy that wasn't even close? Joe Joe list. Wilson vans is a community. You met him the other night. Yeah. That wasn't even close. Joe, Joe list. Wilson, this is me. Wilson, this is the community. You met him the other night.

Yeah. Now you couldn't understand. Yeah. Will Smith bringing you up for best actor in the, in the, and he just slapped you. This way you should do. This way you should do. As you go up to when you keep your head down and when you go up

that you fucking crack him in the face. You go, that's a crisp bitch. Thanks. I'm out. That's what I got to do. Yeah. And I just tucked the Oscar in and run. By the way, I keep doing gags like this. And then people will email me and be like, oh my God, Joe Liss Ego is ridiculous. He thinks he's gonna win an Oscar. Like people are taking me serious. I've had a bunch of people be like, your movie's gonna win an Oscar like people are taking me serious

Yeah, I've had a bunch of people be like your movie's gonna fit like you're it's not gonna You're not gonna an Academy Award and I'm like you I'm kidding Joe. Please please do not acknowledge those human beings You have to stop acknowledging these people But sometimes On your side Nobody except your fans your true fans and they don't say anything They just listen and watch and show up Everybody else who has a fucking comment is a don't listen to them. I You're fat. You're fat. You're fat. I remember when I lost all the weight

Then people were like dude you look sick. Do you have AIDS? It's like, I can't win. I just spent a year and a half going to the gym and eating spinach and raw chicken. I feel fantastic. And then, dude, you look sick. You got AIDS, man. What the fuck?

You should put some more weight, but you're doing too much. Wait, wait ate raw chicken. That was a joke. That was a joke. I was thinking the same thing. Yeah. Sorry.

I was just trying to over exaggerate how to be healthy. I'm sorry. It was a bad example. No, I didn't want to stop you. I just like, I was genuinely interested. You literally stopped me. OK, sorry. I'm so sorry.

You really, you stopped me. Okay, sorry. I'm so sorry. You really you stop me right on the All right, listen plug what you got right now. Where can people see you Lindsay? me echo I want people to listen to my podcast. It's about snacks. It's real stupid and fun Yeah, yeah, please be it. It's called snack time. I put a lot of thought into that title. People come on and talk about their favorite childhood snacks and then they talk about having sex with snacks. I'm sorry. Don't show the followers. This is mortifying. Exit out. We're rebranding. Don't go to anything. No.

Ex it out. We're rebranding. Don't go to anything. No. Let's just try to help you out. You can't sleep now. No, no, no, no, I'm so sorry. Yeah, no do that. But yeah, I'm good listening to my podcast Come see me on shows. I post them all on Instagram and Man, that's kind of it. I mean, following whatever you on Instagram, but you don't show up on my feed anymore. I don't know why. Oh, weird. I mean, is that my problem? I mean, I mean, me.

What's that mean? No, no, no, I'm genuinely like, is that something that I, it's Instagram. I think it's some new Instagram shit. Like if I don't know, if you don't come up, if I don't like your shit all the time, you don't come up. I think I have to post more. I think you're not doing reels. Instagram's all reels now.

You gotta put the reels up there. I know, because I have to post, it's the whole thing because I have only a cat following on TikTok now. So now only people go to my reels for cats. It's very confusing. I don't understand all of this stuff. We want to kill ourselves. Yes. Other than that, we'd be very successful. Yeah, absolutely. Go and in in in Sarah behind you hooked you.

Oh, yeah, we're you're cute. And sweet. Joe, what do you got real quick? Also, I was on the snack time. Listen to my episode. Yeah, listen to Joe's episode. It's really fun. I bet he's not. His snack time was mini Oreos. No, it was Yodels.

Yodels. It was Yodels, it was fun. You should do the pod, Bobby. It's fun. I will do it. We'll get my information before we hang up, and I'll definitely. Of course. But yeah, I have the new special coming out April 29th on YouTube. I will do it. We get my information before we hang up, and I'll definitely. But yeah, I have the new special coming out, April 29th on YouTube,

subscribe to my YouTube. New special on the 29th. I'm very excited about it. It costs ridiculous amount of money that I don't have. What's name? It's gonna be called this year's material. That's pretty funny, I like that. Well, thanks.

And then the movie comes out fourth of July. Oh my God, you have my calendar. Yes, we did that That's exciting. I can't see but yeah, I'm gonna be in Yeah, Austin April 14th, April 15th, April 16th, April And then what they'll be in helium in Buffalo and then Cap City, Austin, Texas May 5th and then yeah, you get a lot of stuff coming up. Go to joelist.com. No, comedian Joe list.

I said you comedian joelist.com and check out his fucking yodel. That's what your penis looks like too, by the way, yodel. This is the yodel. Yeah, it's black and cream filled. Do you like a yodel, a ho ho or which one do you like a ho ho or a yodel better? I'm yodel number one. I mean, I did all we did a whole podcast number one. What's the difference? What's the difference? Do you want a yodel on a ho ho? Uh, it's really expert. Yeah, it's regional. Believe it or not, there is like a weird regional aspect to the yodels and the fohoes and the there's a whole

specifically for that kind of snack cake. I know mine was I'll tell you can I tell you mine now? Do you know? Yeah, tell me yours. What is it? Mine is a Susie Q Okay, see there you go. Do you know why? Why? Well, I stole that affore a ho ho is a yodel and a Swiss row. It's all the same thing Well, it's all the same thing, but it's all like it would all it's all See there's like hostess drakes like all of them like body each other at different times that one's little Debbie So I knew the owner of a little Debbie by the way back in the day really yes, I did Wait a minute of intercourse. No, yeah, I pegged him with a yodel.

Missionary or doggy? Missionary. Hey, does it yodel come with three? No, I don't know what that is. They look like they just smushed. Yeah, they're smushed. Okay, so it's two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, I have a, my favorite snack was a Susie Q Why do you know why no? Why? They were big and those two There you go bring up a Susie Q. You're talking like a phone sex operator. Yeah, I am or it's like that snack because it gets serious You know how it goes much bring up a Susie Q

Susie Q brought to you by Drake. Mara Kelly live.com. Now a Susie Q. Look at that. Look at the how much cream you get in that. That looks really dry though. I'm going to be honest. I'm tired. It's tired. Look at the top. Now look, look at the tops. See how wet it is. See the top does look wet. It's wet. Yeah, it's moist.

Now, is this bad because, I mean, this is like, we, this is like, we're looking at alcohol and talking about how good it looks. I mean, I feel like we shouldn't be doing this, Bob. We're gonna trigger you. No, because it's, you know what, fuck you, Joe. I'm just saying you're making an effort. You're trying to do well with the food.

We're looking at Susan. A lot of carry live.com for all my dates, please. I'm going to be all over the place. I'm shooting my special on the 7th May 7th at the coastal creatives down in St. Pete one night only. I can't wait. I can't wait. I think it's will be available soon. I'm very excited. And of course, grow back up much. Please don't scroll down because I have other dates mush. Okay, there you go. Thanks. Sorry. I love you mush. Santa Cacino, comics, Roadhouse, all my dates are up there. Superstar theater, resort, Bearsden. I'm gonna be with this is gonna be a great show, the 15th and 16th Robert Kelly and friends.

The rattlesnakes going to be there and the legend and the dude are all going to be up there for two nights only. So get your get your car, get up there for the Friday and Saturday, get the hotel room and come hang with us up at the Bearsden, it's at a casino. And of course, comicwearables.com gets all you gear pop a king pop a king get the yk wd get the skanks yk w get the hoodies anything you want yk wd is up there right now my old school hood of the not you hoodie we got the pancake sunday stuff the pancake package you got the sister ping shirt, the your great, not you. And of course, the Robert Kelly Face shirt that everybody, most popular merch thing on my website is that big fat head of mine.

ComicRubbs.com, use code word Ladybugs, bedang, bedang to get 20% off. And that's it. Make sure you check out Mike Vsora's. He is my man, my producer, the mush, and he's always here for you to make sure the show's on live. And there you go. So stick around, it's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash a rubber kelly.

See you there. I listen, give you credits again, Lindsey, you go first. Yeah, follow me. Follow my podcast snack time on all of the places there are podcasts on my YouTube. You would do it. You would better. Do it like, you wouldn't like you mean it like you care about it. Okay. All right.

Hey, where can people follow you, Lindsey? They can follow me. They can follow my podcast. It's called Snack Time and it's really great. And I love it. And you can follow it on YouTube. And my YouTube is Atlons the Atoms is Popular. That's where you can also find my other shit.

And my- I'm so bad at this. You're so funny. Find my other shit. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Instagram at Lindy Adams's popular and follow on the show. Okay. Kau joe.

I'm just going to I want to plug Lindsay. She's hilarious. The podcast is going to be I did an episode and like so few women are even remotely amusing. They're just their brains are smaller. They're dumb. Hard for us. Yes. Yeah. Um, no, um, Lindsay is great and Bobby is great. But I have a special coming out April 29th. It's called this year's

material. It's going to be on YouTube. Subscribe to my YouTube for God's sakes. I have like a third of the amount of followers that I need to have to have a new one. 21.7000. Mochamadu we have 33,000. I thought I'd make you over there and follow him. Yeah, go subscribe for God's sakes and then a bunch of dates coming up. Austin, Boston, Nashville, San Francisco, to coma.

Just for laughs? No, they never have me. And then the film's coming out. Fourth of July weekend, it's called Fourth of July. Bobby's in it. I'm in it. Sarah's amazing. And a party big premiere. We're going to do a premiere somewhere. I don't know where, somewhere in New York. And it was directed by Louis CK. Yeah. Written by him and mostly. Okay. Louis and it is a beautiful film.

And I'm so glad that to be a part of it. I can't wait to see it in front of people. It's going to be awesome. Yeah. And you know, it accolades too. I love accolades. And I want to give a big shout out to Steve Rogers whose house I've taken over for 90 minutes. He's hilarious as a huge dick. You got to have him on the podcast sometime. Yeah, I want you to come on with him next time. I love that. All right, cool. Of course, Mike V. Soros is there. Check him out in all his dates. Very funny guy, but he's the producer of this show also. And make sure you check out my day to rubbercut live.com. Go to comicwearables.com to get all you gear and use code word ladybugs to get 20% off

all your merchandise you YKWD stuff. And make sure don't we have to read names of some shit. No, we'll read those right now. I'll do those myself. And I'll do the I'm going to do an ad. But I will do that right now too. I I wanna thank you guys for coming on and make sure, what else, mush? That's it. That's it. We'll see you next week. You know what, the... Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

you