Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Jordan Jensen, Ian Fidance, Kerryn Feehan "Full Grown"

Episode Date: October 16, 2022

This week Kerryn Feehan, Ian Fidance and Jordan Jensen join Bobby to talk showering with parents, falling off the wagon and growing up in a barn! Robert Kelly "Kill Box" AVAILABLE NOW at LouisCK.com As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code YKWD​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos lia. Un número de maú, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. did this independently. We didn't ask permission. We just did it. Louis directed it. He produced

it. He paid for everything. And I need you to go and support this special. Go buy it. LouisCK.com, Robert Kelly's Killbox. I hope you enjoy it. Leave a comment and get it and spread the word right now. LouisCK.com. Go get it. Yo, what's up everybody? You know what, dude, who's on this week's episode? Well, I'm going to tell you right now. We got Jordan Jensen, in finance and Karen Feehan around this week's episode. It is a doozy fast pace.

It's amazing episode. Ian's fucking crazy. And of course, Karen is just amazing and Jordan is hilarious. So you wanna check it out. I had a blast. I hope you enjoy the episode. Check it out. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment. And if you like the show, go become a supporter

at patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and support the YKWD podcast, one of the longest podcasts running on the East Coast. So there you go. Enjoy the episode everybody. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I started the social media podcast.

YKW did podcasts. YKWD is back again. Old school back in the day We're all starting before them all Why can't WWE do these podcast? Podcast is so fun and crazy And there's no rules Shut up, you ruining this Work the program, I'm sorry

It's comedy podcast This is an NPR That's the podcast done Is there any better show? This is the original Original Captain, is there any better show? This is the original original. What's up everybody, it's Robert Kelly. You know what dude, podcast back in the studio above the comedy seller, the laugh button comedy seller studio.

This week has been a fucking crazy week. You probably see my face too much on too many fucking podcasts, but fuck you deal with it. It's gonna get worse because Skankfest, and then I'm going out to Austin, do a couple podcasts out there, and then I'm going to LA and doing more podcasts. I'm gonna be in your fucking grill

for the next month and a half to promote my special kill box that's on LouisCK.com right now. If you haven't gotten it, you're a piece of shit for watching this and not getting my special. But so go get it now and stop being a piece of shit and just buy it, get it. It's like a fucking price of a Kamamakiado with some egg bites.

You'll buy a cup of coffee for fucking 10 bucks. Are you combing your mustache? Anyways. I didn't know I was on camera. I was on camera. My male guest, my female guest. I wanted to look at this. It's also a knife.

Oh my God. You're so from the 70s. We got a great show tonight. I'm excited about it. Make sure you subscribe and like and comment. I don't care if it's bad comments. Get me in that fucking algorithm, bitch. Cause some controversy.

And also share this. Make sure you share it with your friends. promote the podcast. Oh, you Ladybugs watching live. Welcome to the show. You have questions for any of the guests You we have some here, but you can write them in Nikki new Nikki will put them in the actual show in into the show and print them out of a fucking tell me whatever

Nikki want to introduce everybody sure we have Jordan Jensen. Hello and Ian finance hey and I'm very excited about this episode. New Nikki told me who was coming on today. Was there an old Nikki? No, she's just new. Okay. I mean, no, she's been here for a year. I'm like a matter of 20 times. I know, I know. I have a number in my phone.

I know. I have a thing about just giving people nicknames. I love nicknames. I didn't give you one yet. I'll give you one though. You'll have one by the end of the show. You know what I'm in Liz's phone as. I'm going to give you a new one. I'm going to give you a new one.

I'm going to give you a new one. I'm going to give you a new one. I'm going to give you a new one. I'm going to give you a new one. I'm going to give number in my phone. I know I have a thing about just giving people nicknames. I love nicknames. I didn't give you one yet. I'll give you one though. You'll have one by the end of the show. You know what I mean? Liz's phone as from the first time I did. Why could WD back in like 2017? No, what? Ian Bobby is a new wing friend.

Do you remember what I did to you the first time you came here at the seller at the comedy seller? It was funny. Terrifying. Oh my God. What? Terrifying. He wasn't in at the seller. He got in through somebody else. I think Stavros. No, at the comedy seller's party. He wasn't in here yet. I got him. He was at the Christmas party and I told

Liz to kick him out. I said, just go over and go, look, dude, you're not a comic of the comedy. So you have to go. And he was having such a good. I he was That's the best man in the life of the party The highest plate of food He's just being held up in a chair by everybody And they're like, get down over here He had all this food in front of him And she tapped him on the show The shows, who are you?

What are you? You gotta go And he was like Okay Trying to figure out what you do with this food And I turned around and Bobby And Voss are laughing at you. And I was like, oh, but I don't get it. Is this please me joke and not let me

please let me. Why does that make me fucking why? I loved it. I made me feel welcome. Did you? Yeah, yeah, made me feel welcome. I'm like a part of. And then we gig together and then you have me dry.

I mean, you really weirded me out because he had me. We did a show. It was awesome. Yeah. And then we drive around around, he saw our billiards that was open late and he goes, drop me off here. And I dropped him off at a billiards. I had him drop me off at a pool hall. No worry, there is somebody there

that was waiting for you. By yourself? Yeah. Really? I used to love shooting pool. And my new thing on the road is shooting guns. And what else did you like, dude? I haven't sex with men.

Yeah, I think, I think, because the I haven't sex with men. I think that's because the thing you forgot to mention is shooting loads. I'm putting you in the other men's ass hole. Shooting loads. Yeah, exactly. Which I respected so much that you're like, I love lack of answers by sexual men. I don't know why I fucking love dudes who are like, man like fucking dudes. Yeah, I fucking love it They're the freest It's it's fucking like nor what are you doing? I just stabbed myself. Hey Nikki, wait your mate had phones down a little bit

There's a little dial up there You why do you have a knife comb because the city's going under are you in the wanderers? You didn't see like the snowflakes have come that flew out when he brushed it. It's just my sketch. It was last Christmas over. Yes, come, Dan Draft. Give, give, give head and shoulders. There goes Peter. And now I cut myself. He did because you're playing with a knife. I want you want attention so bad. No, I was nervous. did because you're playing with a knife. I want you want attention so bad

No, I was nervous. I'm so you're literally Let me say give me the knife give me the knife All right, I'm here. You don't see many bisexual guys. It just does it does feel like a next level of pervert That is really nice. Well bisexual. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like yeah, it's like I'm stuck You know, I had a lot of fun, yeah, it's like, I'm stuck, you know. I had a lot of fun, let me tell you. But now I'm just, you know, there's no way out. I'd lose everything.

Well, if I fucking started messing around with, listen. Well, man, I'd fucking, I'd lose the dignity of my son. Yeah. That's a thing. Spaced myself in the mirror anymore? Yeah, yeah. Why would be that bad to be gay? I have no idea.

I don't know. I don't even know my son likes girls. Are you sure? I swear we were fly fish and- That's hair is pretty long. And he, we got to cut. And he got to cut to drive a bobcat. But we were fly fish and I'm like, Max, pay attention.

He goes, Dad, did you see that girl jogging on the bridge? Oh, I loved that. Wow. Nice. That's all I was as a kid and look at me now. Yeah, he's a... I was watching American Gladys, my dad, I go, Dad, that girl is hot and I don't mean sweaty. He's such a drama mom or that.

I mean, what? I mean, and I don't mean sweaty. You can sacrifice your snagrel sin. You really, you were supposed to be on Broadway. You know that right? Yeah. Hardily. Why don't you do it?

I'd love to. Get in it. I would love to. How do you? Get out of the shit business and go sing. I can't sing. You can sing. Try right now.

You don't even have to sing that well to be on Broadway. I have a tear of the voice. I have a tear of the voice. All right. Scala boos, scala boos, can I do the van, that's not your voice. Sunderbolts of lightning, that's not your van, it's van, it's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, that's van, that's van, van, that's van, van, that's van, you as the as the bad boy in cats though. Hmm. Yeah. I can see you owning cats. I do. Oh, you do.

I got my cat's name tattooed in my own hat. Uh, you were the guy in Halloween who would put on like the, you know, the skin suit for some costume and just love it way too much. Yeah, you know, the guy gets killed first in any horror movie. I'll go downstairs. Yeah. Just right. I'll go down.

Nice goes right. Yamaal. I would end up stabbing myself. I'm believe I can't believe he did that. I know. Um, you were saying something before the show, uh, Rich Voss, oh my god, brutal. What happened? What happened?

He caught you doing something awful. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best.

He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. outside. No. Who told you about that? Did you shit outside? I didn't shit outside. I shitting a lake once. It floats. I've shitting the ocean. I've shitting the ocean. You shit the ocean. Yeah. Absolutely. I gotta do it. That's probably like seven or eight. Doesn't count. I was. Oh, like 13. Way too old. Oh, I was 32. Oh my god. I was talking to Rachel Feinstein about her, about her house that she bought. Yeah. Because I used to do Carpentry, right? And it was a cool conversation. I felt very cool. She was like, let me get your number. I was like, yeah, I'll help you out. If you need me, install some countertop. It felt very cool. And then she left. But when she left, she left like a to go container with like half a full ay of salmon.

And like a lot of, let me guess. A lot of vegetables. Let me guess what happened. Yeah, like my noodles and I was looking at it. The human soup came off and the raccoon came out. Lentils. Yeah, tell me you didn't. Of course she did.

Please tell me. Rich boss was sitting there looking at me and I was looking at him and then I would look at the food and I was looking at him, and then I would look at the food, and I'd look at him. And then I was like, listen, I just got a level with you here. I'm going to eat this food. And I was like, and you're not going to say God damn word about it. And he was like, you have a right to eat your own food.

And I was like, here's the thing. It's not my food. OK, it's Rachel's food. And then I, he said, OK, I promise not to tell. And I ate it in front of him probably too fast. I think at one point I thought she was coming back in so I shoved the food away from me. And he saw a lot of he saw the panic go down. He saw the joy of me eating somebody else's food.

I mean, this is do you need some money? Well, then me and Rich bonded over growing up poor and never wanting to waste food. Oh, that's so okay. Edit up. Don't make it out for Wist okay. It ended up making out for Whistic. It's not because who I thought about it later. Like, human animal. But Rich has like sardines in his car. He eats like egg salad sandwiches.

Yeah, wow. He's no one to judge. When I told him Rich, he would put the, like, I would go on last. So I wouldn't, I don't like to eat before a show. So I would always eat after I got off. And I came back many a nights and he'd have a whole chicken in his bag. He had salmon.

He would take the salmon. We'd have a beautiful spread that Deb would put on and he would take it and put it in his bag to take home. I had to make it on back. I had access to the Delta lounge because I'm worried that I would have the raccoon hoarder mentality You know what I mean like I would just be like overdoing it. Yeah, but that's where you should do it Yeah, no at all rules all bets are off at the air

Yeah, you're stealing you're overeating. Oh my god every comedy club. I stuff my backpack full of the Red Bull just for future That's fine, but here's a deal when you're at a the club you work at where you get food You don't have to eat somebody else. He was just gonna leave it. She just you know what I mean? That she just it was so I think it's fine me eating a friend's food. It's so here's the thing We've talked like three times. Yeah, that's friendly enough. Okay, that's certainly colleague. That's not a friend That's in a quiet. How about you Bobby Kelly when you got the Bobby Kelly when you got the Bobby's ever left the other plate. We were with

the I mean, I Bobby Bobby dumplings, but you weren't eating good. You were eating bread at the time. Remember this? You got these hamburgers. So glad to over those.

So then I would open the dumpling. He would eat the hamburger out and then I would eat the skin of the dumpling. Yeah, it was it was fucking why do you this sort of eating? Well, it was your why we I have to be I used to be super fat. But we also didn't have any food in the house. So it was all the bad food.

It was all the bad food. Yeah, yeah, I would steal. So when you make it, when you finally get a show and you get a lot of money, you're gonna become a fat fuck. Yeah. I think I'm going to hire like a little tiny Chinese man to follow me around with like a switch

and hit me when I eat the back of a knee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just be like, no, the shit. Traded Jesus my bell like you just focus in the ribs. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just do that to myself in the mirror. Like you fat sack.

That would be the you do that with that. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I should have dicks. I do the stomach surgery. I would have been better off.

There you go. Twinkle toes, bubba. A bow. Are you eating differently? I eat fucking so differently now. Yeah. I'll say like it. I love it.

Really? What is the diet? The Gigi Hadid diet. What is it called? The Gigi Hadid diet, right? What is it? I got the gastric sleeve. What's the difference between the band and the sleeve?

The band is a band and the sleeve they make your stomach. If you set the sleeve with the sleeve. Oh my God. The sleeve they make your stomach into the size of a little banana. Oh really? Yeah, so I can't like, like today, in the city, when I come to the city and do stuff all day,

I wear my get warm, I go to eat, what am I gonna stuff my fucking fat face with? Yeah, it was like a big part of that like I need to go to Vanessa's dumpling Cuz I'll be in the city. Oh whatever that would now like even with my wife and kid where we're going to eat I'm like I don't give a fuck cuz I'm eating this much and I don't call eat whatever does and you feel Saciated what happens if you open it? 100% cool. If I over it, I throw up flambol. Really?

Flambol. So they clockwork orange to you into hating food. If you, if you overeat, it, um, you look like you've lost weight in your eyelids. That's everywhere. Yeah. It's like extra skin. Yeah.

And I said something. Why? It's weird because you lose weight when you gained it last. So when I was losing weight, I was losing it in weird spots. Yeah. And it was freaking me out. So I did lose weight. You did. In your eyes.

Yeah, because I was becoming Chinese. I did. No, but that's my uncle, Bob, used to say, when he was getting fat or fat, he'd be like, I'm running on a skin. Yeah. That's the way I see it. That's really good.

That's really good. That's really good. That's really good. Your skin looks like a like weight loss guys belly. Oh, does it look? No, no, it's just like a lot of it. No, we have to put it eyes. I have hooded eyes. Yeah, I have the sagal eyes. Yeah, it's a sir. I forget the name of it, but there is a name for people's shapes of their eyes. And mine is a certain eye. My mother had to get surgery on her eyes. I'm worried that after marrying your father. No, he's dead. He died.

Sorry. He passed away three years ago. Thank you for bringing that up. No, I'm sorry. When they were getting, I mean, Oh, you mean the first one? Yeah, fuck him. Yeah, no, because these eyelids, my eyelids, as you get older,

they'll fucking just cover your eye. Really? Like a chupay. Yeah. I'm going to get surgery on him. I have the exhale. No, you don't. As you get older they'll fucking just cover your eye really like a chop. Hey Yeah, I'm gonna get surgery on them. I have the I Yeah, I did raise her great. No, they're hooded. Are they yeah the same way? I want to get a rose feet me to No, I don't know why I do you have crows feet? I notice I have crows feet. Yeah, we're all of crows We're getting older. Yeah, we're getting older. You don't know you mean, but it's not everybody

So when I'm enjoying in their thirties, they just get crows's feet It looks hotter. I'm gonna some gravy. I'm just keep getting it's a horrible. I have a gray streak But that's from trauma. They say trauma from the golf ball. I'm not sure. It's all been traumatic up until you know yesterday That's why you're eating out of other people's yeah, I make it I like I got it aside effect of drama eating like a record? If she came back and was, sorry, I was my last move. I just picture you spinning and I would, I would be like, I'm so sorry,

rich boss, how's it? And yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I think we shouldn't bring it up to him though, because barely there's some shame going on. Rich boss is the worst. He's the perfect guy to do that in front of. If you did that in front of me, I would be like, what are you?

I would have bought you something. I would have took you to dinner. It's bad. So many comics have this. You know, like with Louis, he does the same, not eating out of the trash, but like, there is. I've eaten out of the trash. I've eaten out of the trash.

Are you kidding me? I've thrown something away to never eat it again. And fucking, I was a waitress. I would just take sushi pieces. I was a sushi nova. It was like, like it would be like steak that these people were throwing away like shit is fucking good hotel rooms I've just been dumping I've been buying candy eating handful and then dumping it down the toilet but sometimes I'll flush it like one single M&M rise and I'm like I will cut

covered candy the other night yeah candy and cranberries have you ever eaten if you ever walked down the hallway of a hotel late at night and there's food up in front, like pizza or whatever? No. No. No. No.

No. Oh, yeah. A banquet is happening. I've taken so much from that. I'll talk about like somebody ordered delivery. Somebody ordered delivery. Somebody ordered delivery. Yeah.

They threw it away. They're random. A. Rob service, yes. And they're remnant. No, because I'm worried that, I'm constantly worried that people are putting acid in food. My biggest fear, I don't know if it's the scariest. I got on a trip and talked to my inner child. She was fat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm always worried about that. Who in the right mind is like, well, I'm done with this. Nobody's ever done it. Nobody's ever done it. There's my fear. There's evil people out there. Look at Ari. Ari would never waste it. Maybe they got the. Nobody's ever done it. There's people out there. There's evil people out there. Look at Ari.

Ari would never waste it. Maybe they got the pizza accidentally dropped acid on it. And they were like, we can't eat this because there's that, put it outside. I eat it. I trip balls, you know. I jump out of the window. Oh yeah.

You know what I mean? That would be scary. But if somebody was like, as I walked by the pizza, somebody went, there's no acid on it. I would turn on my heels and grab the pizza and immediately eat it. Yeah. Pizza, I think, is legit to eat out of a hallway. I feel like this tree is worth physically and not mentally. There's no food. That's okay to eat

out of a hole. Thank you. Who knew that Ian and glory hole fight hits is gonna come through with some logic. If you're coming down the hallway, late at night, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. In that logic. No. You're coming down the hall. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you're coming down the hall. It's late at night.

There's nothing open. You can't get food. Two shows, your fucking star. No meditate. And you're coming down and there's, you see a pizza box open. And there's two chicken fingers, some leftover fries, and there's you see a pizza box open and there's two chicken fingers some leftover fries and Two sizes of pepperoni pizza chicken figures

You'd hear choosing which one you would choose the chicken figures I thought of it you would take a chicken finger and like yeah, if we're in like the after time So it's the only way to have to an area would work is if we're being attacked by vampires and I needed this fuel Otherwise, I'm not eating trash call me crazy I want to suck your butt and I worked at this Italian place and they had these little balls of frosting or all around the carrot cake We would talk and I would eat one ball and then one and then I had to eat all of them to make it look like I got fired and I realized there was cameras I got fired because there was cameras But I was having sex with a guy in the in the Saki closet at sushi. So I was a socky clown

Well, it's like a wine cool over for sake We're having sex in the walk-in. Yeah, this ninja name showy-che It was awesome. You've so much weight, but you won't need a fucking chicken finger out of a hallway. Listen, we all have our priorities. The guy bare back you and a fucking suit. A soggy closet? Yes. Yeah, that's a good question.

Pizza in the hallway, but then you look and hanging in one of the rooms is the hottest man you've ever seen who's like sex. I would be like, I'm sorry, you're going to see me do this and I would take the pizza and shuffle away. Have you have a met somebody in a hotel and like fuck them? Hell no. I don't even have, I don't even know what sex is. I yeah.

Yeah. I'll talk a number to bring them to. I was talking to them. I was like, that was rhetorical for you. A real question to me. You mean randomly meet them and have sex. Like in a hotel bar or walking to your room or, you know, be like, hey, and I- I have done stuff like that when I was drinking.

I've never done it sober. But like when I went on vacation to like the Caribbean, I should have probably been murdered. There, because there was like, like, people with like guns and stuff like protecting their drug den, like I wasn't staying in a nice part of town. Anyways, I got hammered at the bar and I left this like, I don't know how old he was. He was very young kid. He was bartending like,

drive me back to my Airbnb. Probably 13. I think he was 14 years old. He was so, can you bleed that out? Can you bleed that out? Yeah, I don't want to fucking kill him. You fucked a 14 year old. No, he was at Lord of Mercy.

That was he. He was at least, he was dickless. I was like full grown full grown Caribbean dick use your imagination so like the Zach County's meeting someone yeah you you saw as dick and he was love what was younger than yeah we've messaged afterwards and you have to put him to sleep and you have to sleep in the bed before you left to make sure. He's just,

I had to tuck him in. Yeah, to tuck him in. Yeah, put his arms in. You had to go on YouTube and watch like clips, like, TikTok clips. She wrote him a bit. He drove me home. I would, this was my last relapse.

What did you have your home on a bike? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I held on to his back. He didn't have a shirt. I think I was in a wagon. No. And then she Hulk backpack or something. In a wagon.

Wait, how old do you really think he is? He was young. Like, maybe 20. Like 20. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right.

It's not as funny. Yeah. 14 was a lot of Larry. Okay. Well, I'm not trying to get arrested. Yeah. Well, who's going to arrest you? It's the Caribbean. Statue of limitations. It's international waters out there. All right, he was 10.

Everyone. Yeah. Woo! Mom, me. Is that weird? Have you fucked somebody in a hotel randomly? Um, you had. No, never have.

Really? No, I never had, I, I, I know I did one time, but I paid for it. Sexy Bobby, love your best. Oh, you met her then, that paid never had, I, oh no, I did one time, but I paid for it. Sexy Bobby, love your best. Oh, you matter that I paid for it. I was in, for you guys had Mexican together and you paid for it the next day.

Go, go. Oh, that's great. Hey, here's a question. It was MGM Grand and the hooker was like, where are you going? She, I was, she liked you. I said, where are you going? And she said, with you.

And she just followed me to my room. Yup. And then I only had, I had, I are you going? And she said, with you. And she just followed me to my room. Yup. And then I only had, I had, I had 15 bucks. That's a good business model. So did you know she was a hooker before you guys had sex? I put it, no. She was just a check. Yeah.

I was like, where are you going? And she goes with you. And I was like, all right. So she came up to the room. She hadn't seen you do comedy. You just saw a woman saw you and was like this is this is what's happening If you saw her you'd be like it's not like oh, okay, okay, okay, I don't like she was fucking smoking hot, right? Okay, like she was a bag of two of Vegas to yeah, I mean a mom of a mom of three. Yeah, she was

Yeah, she was She was not the best but again, it was late night. Yeah, you was, she was not the best. But again, it was late night. Yeah, you can blur your head. And she was a trickant dander in the hallway. I didn't have the problem saying, like, I don't know how to say no. Like, I had a problem going, hey, maybe this is a bad idea. So I didn't want to really do it. But she just followed me and I don't know how to go, hey, you know, I'm, I'm okay.

Yeah, I was like, hey, okay. And we go to the room. I go, I was going to have a tennis ball on you and you throw it and you go, I'm okay. Yeah, I was like, hey, okay, and we go to the room. I go I was gonna have a tennis ball on you But yeah, she blew me for she gave me oral Complete a chain bucks. That's pretty good. Yeah, it was fantastic Condom or no condom condom what do you? Really? Blue you with a condom on? No. Oh, that's what I thought you were saying. Oh, my God.

She'd be there for three hours. Yeah. I'd deck would go limp. I'd have to think a guy's, no, it's not happening. No, I can't get blown with a condom. Never could. Oh, it's terrible. It's terrible.

It's horrible. Can you blow with that with a hand? I've leased a bed. Tased in your mouth. It's horrible. I'm not talking now. I'm talking the other way. I'm dumb both.

Yeah, of course you have. But I don't think you can, it's hard to get AIDS or a disease from blowing somebody, right? Wow, monkey box. Not if their dick is called herpes. Yeah, you can get herpes. You can get herpes. You can get syphilis.

I look at Karen, sorry. I'm like, what else is there? What else have you had? Hey, listen, let's start alphabetically. L-A-P-Shut, I didn't know that could happen. Sorry How many knuckle fucks have you fuck She has to get out of all What what what did. That was just take Adderall. All right. What did you say? How many chuckle folks have you fucked?

Oh my god. Yeah, I want to know this now. How much time do you have? I mean, when I moved to New York, it was 1997. And I mean, Ballpark. I mean, a lot. I mean, a lot, I don't know. Like, I walked off stage one night.

There was a girl standing there, and she was like, oh my god, that was so funny. And I just started making out with her. And I walked there, and I crossed it. And I walked there, and I crossed it. At the end of the hall, and we just went at it. Yeah. We used to be at the end of the hall down seller,

down in the seller, there's a door. You really can't see it. There used to be a key on a chain that nobody knew about. It just, it just, it hit and plain sight. And you could, we would, I would just go in there and open it and it's a little tiny fucked up room and my DNA's all over the fucking room. I mean, back.

I was looking at that room the other day. It's in the back of the basement. Back in the early 2000, that room had a lot of stuff going on. A lot of sucking and fucking a lot of baby killies. Yeah. a lot of stuff going on. A lot of sucking and fucking. A lot of baby killies. Yeah. A lot of shit went on back then. Yeah, we had a lot of fun back in the early, late to 1997 and 2008, 2009. Yeah, it was really.

And then 9-11 happened. 9-11 was even better. I mean, I think I messed around with the chick. I have got 9-11. On 9-11. You don't show me how much I've got. That must have been her 9-11. Huh? She'll never forget. Yes, I think I messed around with the chick. I have got 9-11-11. On 9-11. You don't show me how much I love her. That must have been her 9-11. Huh?

She'll never forget. Yes, I get it. I'm sorry. I like, I don't forget. I didn't hear it. Sorry. It was a good one. It was a real good one.

No, we didn't have sex, though. She let me do her butt cheeks. What? Your hot dog did? That's a butt cheeks. What? You hot dog did? That's a funny one. Yeah, I never did that. And it was cool.

It's like, titty fucking with the butt. Yeah, one of the gross things ever. Yeah. Because it was so safe. And we were, we were expecting what's going on kind of, because we felt like that would be kind of cool. That's not like not real orifices, not like a real penetrated. What is that?

Your penis. Yeah. Doesn't it penetrate the butthole a little? No, no. Unless you take a wrong turn. No, she had a grief. I've never really got to have a pump. You got a big fat. You got a cover.

Or a tiny penis. No. Well, there you go. But hey, I got a nice thing. I know that. I mean, I got it. And it's funny. Groove it.

I just got it back, which is fantastic. Oh, yeah. Oh, you got it back. I heard when you lose weight, it grows. It comes. No, it's just, it's just a fat around it leaves. You unearthed it. Yeah, I mean, it's 19 years from being dead for nine years.

It's being covered in fucking. Oh, dick was can't green. Yeah, my dick has from getting diallysis, like purple and reds and shining. Oh, you got that dialysis dick. What's up? No, it's back. I'm very excited.

Yes. Yeah, I'm just imagining your dick gasping for you. It's just, oh, my dick came back out like, you're like, oh, hello? Was imagining your dip gasping for you Hello, it was like a Saga moving. It was like it was like Brendan Fraser coming out of the ground and blasts Was that no, that was in Sino-Man, well both of them. Yeah, you're right He did the two of the same movies well No, in blasts on the past he was buried underground in a bombshelter and then he comes up and he's like oh Yeah, we did two of the same movies. Yeah, wow in blast on the past he was buried underground in a bomb shelter and then he comes up and he's like oh Yeah, he did two of the same movies. Yeah, wow he was great. He is great He's having a whole thing right now. Yeah, what is that? He's like he gained weight for a thing and then everyone loved him

What happened? No, he he went through tough times he left Hollywood. I heard because he got Assaulted who was salted. I heard because he got assaulted. Who was assaulted? I thought he got sexually assaulted on a set. And he was like, by a man or a man? By a man. And he didn't, he said something about it. And they were like shut the fuck up or something like that.

And then he's, he was like, he'd be shunned from Hollywood. Yeah, guys can't, you guys can still get fucked by men and assaulted. And nobody will listen. Oh, yeah. That happened to Terry Cruz too. Yes. And nobody gave a fuck. I mean, and nobody will listen. Oh, yeah, that happened to Terry Cruz too. Yes, and nobody gave a Lock I mean in the heat of yep me too. Yeah when they were just taking everybody out there like just shut up

Just just take it take it you fucking big girl. Yep. Any time a guy talks about being abused by a woman people are like Whatever you fucking pussy Yeah, dude y'all have some evil motherfuckers. One of my friends was like, I fucked Kyle last night. He said that he raped him. And I remember all my friends like bursting into laughter and being like, dude, what? I got she really just held hold him down, slap him. Yeah.

Poor Kyle got raped and you know, nobody cares. Yeah. Years ago, when I was drinking this girl, we, what are you doing with your hands right now? What's happening? It's gay. I like arguing with my hand. Oh, sorry. What?

You say what do you mean? What are you saying? He's not even Italian. He just tells everybody he's saying he can be gay. What's weird about this? You guys can be gay. Maca Reina. Um, go.

Oh, this girl. Oh, I guess so. What do you do? Fucking talk, homo. Oh, this girl. Oh, I guess so. What do you do? Fucking talk, homo. Shut up. Ah, ah, ah.

I was, all right, stop. I don't know how to talk it on my hands. Do it. You can talk, do it, girl. All right. So I was down to the beach and it was this girl. I used to have sex with and I didn't want to have sex when I was more and I was drunk and we were at a party

and we were making out. She threw me on the bed and I was like, I don't want to have sex. And she was like, shut and we were at a party and we were making out. She threw me on the bed and I was like, I don't want to have sex. She was like, shut up and she pulled my pants down and hopped on my dick. And I was like, no. And I pushed her off and I ran out with a boner, pulling my pants up and I go,

she raped me, she raped me. And everyone was like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Who's everyone? Who was there? All these people to buy to run through a house party sounds like a Ryan Reynolds movie Yeah, yeah, why would there so many people yeah, cuz it was at a house party So you had a house by being raped in the other room. I wasn't that the

Object like that's what you try to do it. I was charge is because I didn't want to have sex with her Why why didn't I didn't want to have sex with her anymore? Yeah, but if she really raped you Yeah, it's always the exit. Why? Somebody you used to fuck the day. I didn't legitimately think that I was like raped to take the day off. Oh, she think it's funny to cry, rape?

Yes. But when women do it, we're not supposed to believe them. What? It's scary. You just admit it. You just admit it that you were raped and none of us know how to handle it. Yeah.

Yeah, we don't know how to deal it. I dated a guy who was like, yeah, when I was like, you know, younger, like, you know, my mom and her friends, it all take fast with me and they would be like, topless and dead and I'm like, you got molested. Like, stop telling me this shit. But there is an age where you don't take a shower.

It's all women. Yeah, there's an age. What age did you stop being with me. Uh, what we still do it now No, I don't be I've never bathed with my son. I've taken showers with them. That's what I mean showers I've taken showers with them. Yeah, but not quick guys stuff not anymore. I mean If we have to like Go like dude just jump in but I get out yeah and he'll jump in Yeah, I don't I don't want him ever to be have nudity to be a fucking weird like my house

I was Catholic Boston nudity was a fucked up thing right. I don't care about that You know be nude. It's fine. I don't give a shit about that But I there is an age like now is the age nine. You know, you to take a shower with, I think, you know what I mean? It's like going by yourself and you be with the show. I never understood the showering with your children thing. Well, you have to because they don't know how to shower. Yeah. Like my son doesn't.

You can stand outside the shower and dump the picture on the right. That's what happened. And when they're younger, you can't say something though. I have a very big shower. But your dad was buried, so it's fine. Didn't there ever say that? My dick wasn't even there. Yeah. Yeah, that's totally great.

I wasn't raised. It was bigger than mine. I was. Yeah. Raped. You just said it was no, but it was like, wait a minute. It was a joke laughter thing. Oh my God. What are you back?

Why are we going back? You at ETSC. You got so right. You didn't even hear this whole story about bathing the children. You're just, I wasn't right. Let's go back to that. I was afraid that she was going to give me an S. This is not getting monetized by the way. Yeah, I mean this whole thing from the Getgo because you're a victim. Yeah, you're not a victim

Look how tough you get. Yeah, great victim face my knife back. No, you'll cut yourself Ah, oh. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por uno en medianas al omicidio solo pidiendo al line. ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por uno, ah no, no, no, no. ¡Dominos! Pizzah! Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás!

Vuelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea punto con. Bueno, si no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela,

no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela,

no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, no te lo libero a la escuela, Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen this is getting crazy

Karen we stop playing with the cord sorry I'm nervous why are you nervous um anyways did you guys see the chicken chick that got the beer thrown at her yeah you guys know her yes great you know I do crazy to put I wouldn't have posted on why Oh, I just was too brutal to two vulnerable. It made me feel vulnerable. She fucking killed dude Yeah, I know she dealt with it verbally and then when they threw the beer at her she fucking picked it up and chugged it like a fucking champ I don't know though. It was there was something about it that what I don't it was just to Too raw for me it just was too. I really related you did yeah with the guy who's a Liberal bitch

No, um, it was there. I see you're here. You're saying it was yeah, it's very intense. It was very scary Yeah, they're fucking that Kim condoms getting fucking finger or whatever Did you what what she got like poked her through leggings like after she got off stage? What she tweeted about it It's like this whole like red. Oh, yeah, I got she said she kicked his ass too and like Kim like does she just I wouldn't fuck with him No, you know what those shoulders you're not She's a crazy No, thank you. Yeah, she those shoulders, you not. Bad ass. You crazy? No way, no thank you. Yes, she's a bad ass.

And Kim is, I mean, she's hot as shit. Woo! Yeah, but I mean, I like her mom more, but she or mom. Good for you. No, really? Oh my god, I'm in love with her. I mean, Kim's, her mom's better than Kim. I mean, it's different, it's a different thing.

It's super pretty cool. Yeah, very, very sexy back. But it's kind of scary. And like, you're like, things happen in threes. And I'm just like, how do I, where do I be? And you're like, my ass off. I'm like, where do I get my ass off? Where do I get my bag as quarters?

And there. What the fuck? Bobby, give me the knife. I'll make a dream come true. Thank you. You know what it was? I thought it was going to be a video. I read it wrong.

And I thought it was going to be her whipping a beer can at somebody. And I was like, hell yeah. And then when it went towards her, I was gonna be a video. I read it wrong and I thought it was gonna be her whipping a beer can at somebody And I was like hell yeah, and then when it went towards her. I was like, oh god, that's very smash. It was really crazy. Yeah I do this a lot. I like these lids audience members all the time. I will say what pissed me off though was a male comic Like reported it and was like this happened to her tonight and it was scary my knife back Oh, you'll cut yourself. Oh, no. Oh.

Ow. Um, well, I'm with you. You're all right. If you went to liberal arts college, you just minored and raped. Yeah. Can you write a one man play about it? Yeah. Or, if I can, the story of Karen.

Is that her name? Mm-hmm. Oh, that's her name. Sorry. Karen. It's not Karen. Karen. Karen. It's not Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. It's Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. Karen. This is getting crazy.

No. Karen. We stop playing with the cord. Sorry. I'm nervous. Why are you nervous? Anyways, did you guys see the chicken chick that got the beer thrown at her? Yeah, you guys know her. Yes, great. You know her. I do crazy to put it. I wouldn't have posted it. I don't think why?

Oh, it just was too brutal. Too, too vulnerable. It made me feel vulnerable. She fucking killed dude. Yeah, I know. She dealt with it verbally. And then when they threw the beer at her, she fucking picked it up and chugged it like a fucking champ I don't know though. It was there was something about it that was what I don't it was just to

Too raw for me. It just was too. I really related you did Yeah, with the guy who threw the beer Little bit a mess in a row No, um, it was there. I see you're here. You're saying it was yeah, very intense. It was very Yeah, they're fucking that Kim condoms getting fucking finger or whatever. Did you what? What? What are you guys like poked her through leggings like after she got off stage? What she tweeted about it? It's like this whole like red. Oh god. Yeah, I got she she said she kicked his ass too and like Kim, like does she just, I wouldn't fuck with Kim.

No. You would. No, with those shoulders, you not. Bad ass. She's a bad ass. You crazy? No way, no thank you. Yeah, she's a bad ass.

And Kim is, I mean, she's hot as shit. Woo. Yeah, but I mean, I like her mom more, but she or mom. It's for you. No, really? Oh my God, I'm in love with her. I mean, Kim's,

her mom's better than Kim. I mean, Kim's our mom's better than Kim. I mean, it's different. It's a different thing. It's super pretty cool. Yeah, very, very, very sexy. But it's kind of scary and like you're like things happen in threes and I'm just like, how do I, where do I be? Toilet flat yourself. Where do I get my assault? Where do I get my baggets quarters? And there. What the fuck? Bobby, give me the knife. I'll make a dream come true. Thank you. You know what it was?

I thought it was gonna be a video. I read it wrong and I thought it was gonna be her whipping a beer can at somebody and I was like, hell yeah. And then when it went towards her, I was like, oh God. That's very smash. It was really crazy. Yeah.

I do this a lot. I feel like these lids, the audience members, all the time. I will say what pissed me off though was male comic, like reported it and was like, this happened to hurt tonight and it was scary. La la la. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, fuck you. Oh, you are mad at him.

I'm taking. I agree. I agree. You should have fucked this dude up. Yeah. If somebody is going after a friend of mine and a fucking comic, you better be on a show because I'll be mad. I will fucking destroy you.

Okay, that's A. You're not, wait, I better what? You better have a B and a C. I don't like people go A and then they give the thing and nobody else. Did I say A? You said A. A, I'll fucking destroy you.

B, you want to be a tough guy? I'll fucking the ass and show you how tough you are. And C, it's kind of the same as A.'s what's the what's the what's the I was here in court well Dino is pressing charges good so they are pressing charges I was wondering about a place that's like B.Y.O.B. if that would affect anything like they don't have a liquor license like it was a fucking vodka bottle right what state was it? Why is that? Jersey.

Oh, why is that? Yeah. It was down in Pointless. Pointless. Uh-uh. Look, those crowds down there are pretty cool most of the time. Yeah. And the fact that a comic saying something that you don't like,

a number one, just leave. Yeah. Just fucking leave. Just get the fuck out. You didn't even have a number two. I said number one. Number two for a guy. You better have six. If you don't have six. Yeah, three. I'll end you one more. Number two for a guy that's your wife in her going at it. Yeah. Mine you just get your wife and let's go. Put her bed. Do you think this is the real speth effect? Do you think this guy is with guy to the guy to you that the man to it?

That's really I said as a comic. If you're friend, if I see someone go after you, I'm fucking destroying. I don't care if it's like I'm gonna negotiate it. The cut when I get out of you before I fuck I think it's fucked up. The comic didn't do anything. But he would get out of it. Alopecia. Yeah, it is.

It's crazy. I mean, I would have lost my fucking mind. If somebody got the beer, I would have, I would have, I think so there. Can I just tell you what happened? He threw the, he threw the beer can and then he ran out. I was so screaming. I would be like, are you guys all gonna fucking sit there?

Or are we all as a mom? I'm gonna go tackle this motherfucker. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, but the problem with that. The problem with that is nobody follows you out. I'm just so embarrassing. Like, look at my tits. Yeah. Now let's go. Yeah, but the problem that the problem with that is nobody falls you out So bear saying like my tits. Yeah, now let's go and then still nobody falls you out that Abidol body your ass out you see that habitable buddy mine What he was he was drunk. We were down a university in Delaware I wasn't there, but he was down on a curb and these guys are throwing beers at him. And like one hit him and there was like a party going on.

He was drunken in the street. They were hitting him with beers. And then he met up with his friends. He's like, his motherfuckers are eating me with beers. They're like, well, let's go get him. And he goes, yeah. So he goes up to the door, kicks the dead and goes, we're all gonna kick your ass.

And he was the only one there. And they just started whaling on him. I saw the end of that story when you started it. Can I watch it again? Let's hit this. Oh, shit. I didn't think it was going to happen. That's on me.

That was on me because I could have a human interaction. Pause it for a second. See, here's what she's doing, too. This is why what she did. That's why I love comedians. Even in this fucking terrible situation, she went for the funny. Yeah.

She's going this whole thing with her back-of-what sucked. Sucks, but she's still trying to be funny. What do you mean, sucks? I thought she's got to deal with an audience member getting whatever, not getting the jokes or whatever. She's going to go back and forth, but she's still fucking is trying to be funny. Now play it. She says she's still trying to finish her bit.

She's so cute. This is great. Good. She just calmly puts it back down. Dude, yeah, I mean, what is the sober dude? You can't do that. I know. We have to dump him on their heads or something. I would have whipped it back so cool.

At my rage, what a cake to end and I would have just torped you to it. Only person that paid to see you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were wearing a Jordan Raccoon shirt. Yeah. We wanted to hit her with it. She has salmon and fucks. Trash can't, Jensen.

Trash can't, ow. I, yeah, the guy left. But somebody said, I don't know what they said. Somebody said something. I'm never hanging with these people again or something like that. I thought that was the guy I have the most people I got I had 26 people kicked out of that club one night really yeah I was just doing my shit and they didn't

They would just yapping and talking and I think there was a lady that didn't like me and they would just started going at it And do you know kicked 26 people to fuck out. Oh my God. Yeah, once I didn't even know it because I was just fucking doing my stupid shit. Yeah. And he goes, do it. I kicked 27 people out.

That's incredible. And the whole back of the room was just gone. Yeah. It's a we that room. I love that room. Yeah. It's fucking great. But you do when you get bring your own booze,

they're coming in fucked up. Yeah, that's a lot. And they come in at like the shows booze, they're coming in fucked up. Yeah, that's a lot. And they come in at like the shows at nine, they're coming in at seven. That's, there's nothing else to do really around there. Like that's the night. Yeah, they're hammered. I open for Joey Diaz's crowd a few times there,

and they were awesome. Yeah, I do. Diaz's crowd's great, yeah. But I remember Dino and then we're like talking in the green and we're about like mob stuff and like putting guys in like two cases. I was like, this is fun. Yeah, that sounds fucking interesting, doesn't it? I probably should have listened a little closer, more closely instead of just

bringing it that up. Did you just eat pizza with acid on it? Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. I'm like, I realized. You're right. You started slurring your way. Yeah. It's a weird tidbit to throw out. What did you take me for you showed up tonight? Yeah. The last person who lives in have a have a waiting audience and you don't know and they come up to you later and they're like, did you know that this guy like barreled the stage?

I said like mushrooms. And apparently I in Vegas had like ripped his shirt off and like tried to get at me on stage when I mentioned mushrooms to be like, and you activate him? I guess so. Yeah, yeah. Why was he mad like mentioning that?

He wasn't mad. He just wanted, he was tripping. I said mushrooms and he was like, and you activate him? I guess. Why was he mad like man? She wasn't mad. He just wanted, he, he was tripping. I said mushrooms and he was like, we're going to trip together in the security guard. I had to like catch this shirtless slippery man and kick him. And I got off stage and they're like, you didn't see any of that. I was like, absolutely not. It's really funny when security gets, I like when security gets involved. There was this old guy who was in Boston and he was just yelling stuff out.

Like, and he was there with his wife. That's because you like to be fought over. Uh, yeah, okay. Not gonna deny it. But then I remember the security kid. He was like a young kid too. He came up behind him and he was like, point at me. He's like, do you want me to? And I was like, his name was Ronald. He's like, Ron, look behind you. I was like, that's how powerful I am. Do you want to stay or do you want to go? And he wanted to stay. So we shut the fuck up. For about five minutes.

And then you got kicked out eventually. Yeah, I hate that one. I have to get people. I had that in Boston too. Some lady got too drunk. Just yapping the whole show. They just something goes off in their brain. Well, I mean, I've been in a blackout before.

It's alcohol. Yeah. The alcohol fucks people up. And they don't know what. It changes their perception of reality. There was a drunk chick. She was 22 years old in a blackout at the stand like a week ago. And I was like, did you drink in high school? She was like, no, I was like, this is

what happens. That's why everybody needs to drink in high school. So that you're released a little cool while you're by the time you're 22. Yeah, you had a bottom by the time you told me. So yeah, it's how I was cool. I'm like, I think about stand up though. We've made stand up to where it started out in those small clubs like jazz and now it's this event that people go to and get fucking hammered. And we're expecting them to behave like they're at church.

Pay attention. It's just like hard to do when you're sober. Never mind you, you know, you're, they're giving them buckets of beer. Like you look on the table and the waiters like the more I sell the more money I make. Yeah. And they don't give a fuck. It's always, for me, it's always women screaming stuff out.

And then I'll, you know, like this woman in Chicago a couple nights ago was like yelling stuff out at me. And I was like, what's your beef? What's going on? Like it seemed like it was aggressive. I was talking about like acidic juice or something. And then I get off stage and I'm like, yes, sorry. And I like ripped into her and I was like, shut the fuck up, or something. And then I get off stage and I'm like, yeah, sorry. And I like ripped into her and I was like, shut the fuck up, you know,

and then I get off stage and she's like, I love you. And I was like, how is this what you do? And it's like, you're so disconnected from reality. It is nuts. It is often, men will get like aggro and you can tell that, and I feel like they shut down,

but women actually think that they are contributing to the show often. Yeah, can I just be honest? I've women of the majority of yappers at you. They'll talk to each other. They'll talk to each other. They'll have a full-blown conversation with their girlfriend. You know, women do, you know, women do, they go, they go, keep going. Oh, yeah.

Tell your Joe, move on. Yeah, yeah. And then when you get them, when you slam them, they go, yeah, yeah, like a little kid fuck you. Yeah, I said alright, whatever. It's like if it's a hunt If it's 90% women who are doing the chatting but the the 10% that are men if you tell them to shut the fuck up We'll whip the beer you know what I mean the women won't be here. Yeah, right with the beer bring it on I got a fucking mic stand. Oh, let's do it. What you want to fight somebody? Oh fucking fight someone I don't I know because the worst thing is you're getting video tapes and You go to fight them and he beats the shit out of you on stage. You better pack a lunch bell. We're gonna be there all day

Oh my god, you're so confident. Yeah, really yeah, he's like one of the masculine guys You're a top Top guy are you a top? Yeah, I thought you're a top. Top guy, right? Are you a top? Yeah, I thought you were a bottom. Fuck you. Why you getting mad at me? I made a mistake.

With me, you'd be a fucking bottom. Say that. What are you liking, or what? 100%. I'll wrestle you to the top. Dude. Is that a metaphor? Is that a metaphor?

Yeah, that's pretty good one too. Jesus Christ. Just laughing and wrestling to try and get their dicks and the other ones as. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Let me hear. That's terrible. Just me and you going, ow, ow, ow.

Oh, oh. Yeah, women are the worst at shows. Oh, just at shows. They're the ones who find. Ha, ha, ha. They just think that they're being, yeah, they think everything's about that. They think when you have everything,

they really shiver onto the end. They're the ones that I just tell you. My theory, men are better. I've been punched. Men, yeah. You get, as a guy, no consequences for winning in. Well, it's just that they, you know,

they slapped your hand. No one's, yeah, 50, sorry. We fucking take up all life comb. You're real, it's fucking insane. You're real in the state. Hey, yeah, I've been hit, so I know I'm going to shut the fuck up. Yeah, you know, and there's a certain thing of aggression where like, dude, shut the fuck up. And it's like, I'm either going to fight this guy or I'm going to shut the fuck up. Yeah. You know, and there's a certain thing of aggression where like, dude, shut the fuck up.

And it's like, I'm either gonna fight this guy, or I'm gonna shut the fuck up. And we usually make the choice, I fuck it. But women, there is no consequence to some rich lady or whatever with her girlfriend. And when they start talking and they go, we like you. We know that, yeah, that keep going shit. Then like the year can joke,

so a spark conversation. Like you will start like a person like, I was taking, I give somebody interrupts you. I knew like, it's like, oh my God, I love you. Oh, that's good. You answer up. That's the third story you jumped in on. Really?

Yeah, jump. Keep in store. Don't say sorry to me. I'm just excited. No, no, no, it's okay. We're excited you're here. I'm listening, buddy. Just, store. Don't say sorry to me. I'm just excited. I'm sorry. No, no, no, it's okay. We're excited you're here.

I'm listening, buddy. Just come to break straws about it. Somehow we're still talking to Ian though. Right now. You do it. He's a fine fuck. How did he do it? You let him do it.

Kill you, son. Don't do it. Don't do it. I go say. Don't do it. It's such a dad. No. It's so sweet.

You're just so actually not the man. No, I don't want to fucking be here all night. I don't want to go home. You will die. You will die. The good doctor's new seasons on a one episode. If you're a promise of your joke is suicide, like the women will be like, I want to kill myself sometimes.

Like they'll talk to their friend. They have conversations. They don't understand that a conversation is heckling. Like it's part of, they think we're just liking your joke. It's just a group discussion. Yeah. Aren't you a blogger? Isn't this YouTube?

Where am I? They shouldn't allow more than four women together at a comedy show. No. Yeah, anything more than that. It's so funny too, because it's always that one that won't shut the fuck up, the quiet one who's it's their fucking party and the other ones that are on your side but they're gonna back this bitch up because that's what we do. But a lot of times like once one turns on you that you see they all give each other that

look like now we're not gonna laugh. Oh, and they stay. The worst. Guys will leave. Guys will get let's get the fuck out of here. Women will just silence, scorn you, and try to and try to sour the crowd. The worst thing is when you say, does anybody do this? Like you ask a question where the answer should be yes? And somebody goes, no. And you're like, I

truly could take your life right now. It's all that I would, that's, that is brings up the most. I'm just touching only child. Just like, no. You guys know what I mean. What a, what a, what a, what a just a, a shit person. A ten chin seeking. I can't, those people, it's crazy.

They go to bed at night and they wake up and they're like, yeah, I'm gonna be this person again. I'm gonna do it every day. They just decide to continue being the co-op. I want to keep coming out to comedy shows though. You guys keep coming out. I want to, I want to come up with an app. A bad crowd up where where they you get kicked out you get put in the app.

Yeah, I can screen you social credit score. Yeah, social. Yeah, we're waiting for existence. I mean, you have to have to get giant black mirror. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do it for crowds. So in that big show, they'll do it for crowds and they'll do it for you, pal. Yeah, but they have to sit in the back. First, you have back row people. You have to sit by the door by the security. Yeah.

You've been kicked out twice. It's a bus and sell my Alabama. What are you talking about? You want an Uber rating for audience members? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, three stars, four stars. Yeah, they can come in.

I've heard a lot of face. You can improve your score. The more you go out, the more you buy, the more shows you support. You can help your average. Is the Chinese social credit? Well, they're obviously on to something in they're picking our ass Yeah, we're not the king anymore. Hello. No, it sucks. Yeah, you should get those highlights back, you know I would love to just have somebody show up at the seller and she'd be like, just beep. No, you can't come in. You were kicked out. I don't know.

I disagree. I think that ruined. I mean, I'm joking. Of course. We can't do this app. So I'm not really saying let I'm not going to try to get a crowdfunding knowing and get this app I mean the future is upon us though. What the future is upon you all right

Why are you on your words do you spell you heard what I said the future is upon us? No, I heard a few Sorry, I'm a little congested. You should just do two drink minimums the second drink. There isn't biz It's fake. No the second drink at Xanax. Yeah, I'm gonna sleep everybody sleeps. Yeah, no. A little bit of yeah, I'm not serious either Yeah, it wasn't funny either Zana's credits. They're coming up with ways we're gonna be able to talk to our pet I like the view because they have the cocaine bathrooms that Bathroom's got made for cocaine at the view Yeah, I've seen that's what you want so many staff do it cocaine in the spheter. They are made for at other clubs.

Okay, good. Maybe we have rats. People so let that do cocaine. They got to get those drinks out. No, no, no one should be doing cocaine. There's too much there's fentanyl going around. Everywhere. It's too dangerous.

Why? Why? Because I love the people I work with. But if they want to do cocaine Kim, what does it do? Because I don't want them to get hurt. Well, don't do for Kim. You were doing Coke, they get its Coke and it's fent on their dying. Is it that bad?

Yes. There's a lot of documentaries out right now. People are doing Coke. In Chicago, this is too very hot couple. They kept FaceTime calling me, which is crazy, or Instagram calling. Oh, dude. That's crazy. Why'd that happen to me in Austin?

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Okay. If you hit FaceTime on Instagram, it'll just... dude, it's crazy. Why not be an Austin? Yeah, kind of okay? If you hit like FaceTime Or on Instagram, it'll just it'll just video call you so anybody can do it anybody can just call your phone You got some skin. It's fucked up. I don't have that turn. You can't call me I haven't heard off. I bet yours is like restricted or something. Yeah, you can't touch me do it I don't want that. Call his ass. See it? Please don't call me. Oh, there's a video call.

Oh man. I feel like you have something on yours. Yeah, I don't want anybody doing that. These people didn't. I went outside and they were all fucking, they were all cooked up. After your show. Yeah.

I like cook as a comedy show. They give you so many compliments. Yeah. Yeah, they really want to get you some things. These people sent me or no, they came up and they were like, thanks so much. We loved you. Gave me a crumple piece of thing.

Yeah. And I look at it and it was a phone number, a name of a Street Club, two names and it said our drugs are tested. Oh my God. Yeah, really hurt. A herner husband. That's nice. That's really courteous.

I think they would have fought with us. It was nice. It was nice. But had they heard your step before I think they would have fucked us. I think these couples want to have that. It was nice. But have they heard your set before you, because you talked about how you're an addict, et cetera, no, why would they offer you coke? That's what fucked us. People think that everything's a joke.

And they go, that's not a real right? That's a good point. Did I really have it? Are you really made of it? Everybody, even in bar tenders, you'd be like, can I have a club soda? And they're like, are you serious? And you're like, sorry, I'm sober.

And they're like, come on. And you're like, okay, right now, you want me to be like, fuck it have a club soda? And they're like, are you serious? And you're like, sorry, I'm sober. And they're like, come on. And you're like, okay, right now you want me to be like, fuck it, let's do it. You know what I mean? It's crazy. Did you just do, what was it? Did you do it? What?

Yeah, disturbed. Yeah, disturbed. I love that. I love that. Like the greatest. I've never heard anybody use that perfectly like that. What? Yeah, I don't like that either.

People try to get me to drink. Yeah. Don't drink? No. And then I go 37 years. I got so many, I was 15. And go, that's great. It just shuts them down.

I will say though, it is a nice gesture and I appreciate that. But once I say no thank you, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Like for somebody to go, can I buy you drink? Do you want to drink? Do you want this? That's an active community that's a communal service.

That's a beautiful. Hey, I want to do something. Oh, that's so nice. But once I go, oh, that's kind of bad, but I don't drink. Leave it at that, and don't keep. I didn't like it because they were starting to buy me appetizers, which are the perfect ones. It's bad.

It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's Yeah, it's like he's a man. I'm on that rock. We got to throw something in your trough. Yeah, what's it gonna be? Yeah, that always hurt my. Come on pig man. Hey dude. I'm just eating a meal all of a sudden fucking two orders of appetizers come over. Dude enjoy. Well, it's here. I eat them. I take them. Oh, that's a lot more of that. Yeah. Of course. What are you doing? I have some of that. No, it's for girls. Does it plump? No, what's plumper? Shed scares me

The plumper stuff sucks because it's so easily distracted Stings your lips and that's what makes it what are you talking about? What's plump? Certain lip glosses. You're letting him do that. I know. I mean he hasn't washed his hands ever. Yes, I did I wash him fucking settle down settle down settle down settle down calm down My my dog would she gets in fights at the park Let me see I hated watching that man that was I was zoomed in I wish I had I zoned out and then I He's really dead

Oh That out of the podcast cut it out of my brain kill me kill me It's not stopping I'm not sure I got a machine girl. Cut that out of the podcast. Cut it out of my brain. Kill me. Kill me right now. It's not stopping. It's not stopping. I saw a picture of the end of that with that with my session of the day. Really freaked me out.

Really? Yeah, it was like, on your, where did I see it? Where did you see it? In the studio in podcast studio. Really? Yeah, right here. Oh yeah, that's right. Me and I. It's crazy.

What, are you going to Skankfest? Yeah. Are you going? Are you all of it? Yeah, yeah Oh, we should have a sober hangout. Yeah, I think we already set it up really when I think it's Saturday What time in the morning really fuck I'm getting tattooed Saturday. What's morning like 10 a.m Well, what are you getting it was in Vegas in Vegas. You'll stay in my balls. You'll come hang after. I'm sure everybody you're tattooed.

Maybe I'll see if I can get tattooed at 9 a.m. What time in the morning were you having? Jesus Christ. I don't know. I got to figure it out. It's going to stay on the air because then we have a bunch of yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're right. Yeah. It's going to be so fun. You don't want to welcome them? What? You don't want to welcome them. No, that's fine. I just don't want to have.

I want to sober hang staring at you. It's so important for us to have a sober hang because there's so much drugs and alcohol around that I need to know. Yeah, I'm doing it. Maybe I should. I'm doing yoga with you. Yeah, because now I can finally kind of do it. There we go.

It's so fun. Yeah. When's yoga with Ari? We're doing a cigar. We're doing a, uh, me and Ari are doing a cigar thing there and everybody can come and smoke. Oh, that's fun. Can I and do yoke? No, that's after. Oh, oh, we have a lot of things planned. None of it's gonna happen We should do a comic with football game. Yeah, that would be fun. Where where where in where in the parking lot

What's the temperature gonna be when we're there hundred? No, but it's a hot. It's a hot, yeah. It's a hundred. Yeah. I'm wearing shorts on stage. It looks like the venue's like inside a mall. I'll tell you, I actually know where it is. It's down the end of Fremont Street. So you've got the plaza at one end,

and then you go all the way down the other end, and it's up into the left, and it is like an old mall area. They have all these theaters. Oh no, so that they converted into show theaters. It's pretty wow, because you got a big hangout out of front and it's off of the Freemont Street. It's off of that. So you're not down.

Freemont is where we saw that spooky DJ. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but you can go down into Freemont Street if you want and deal with all that crazy. I love it. It's up in you want and deal with all that crazy. I love it It's up in a way and the theaters are fucking great. Yeah, my tattoo artist He's a three-minute walk from where we're at on Fremont. It's gonna be an epic. I'm gonna get a tattoo It's gonna be so it yeah, dude. We're getting tattoos Saturday morning. What are you getting? Yeah, we don't know yet

But we said when our patreon makes guess, are you guys doing a Patreon together? But that's what we should do Wednesday. Wednesday tattoo. You guys have a podcast together? Yeah. What's it called? B and E and B and E. Fuck it.

Funny. What is it about? E and. No. I'm totally excited to be in. Ian. I tried a lot of other topics. No.

I kept coming back to Ian. It's about whatever we want. What's this about? Can you let her talk? Go ahead. What is it about? It's about us manically laughing, telling insane stories that we've had up into us pretty much. Yeah, it's just us hanging out and going back and forth and...

Dead dads. You're gonna be together, dead dads. You dad, when did you dad die? 93. Oh, yes. 2014. Yours? He's still with us. Oh, sorry. Uh, 2014. He was? He's still with us.

Oh, sorry. He's just dead to her. I think it's the other way around. You get the way around. You fucked that joke out. That's all right. We think so. Wait, when did he die?

He's not dead. When I start with my only fan. She's dead to him. Oh, you want to redo it? Oh, yeah. The dad with the only fans. Wow. Did he see it? Did he ever see it? I don't think so. He's like too old. Are you still doing it? Not really, but yeah

Yeah, almost like passive income at this point. I can only imagine that would help me stay single You know what I mean? Just showcase it. I mean, I would I never take off any My sweater even in a hundred and a thousand degree weather, but and we thank you for that. Yeah Why don't you guys do it only fans together? weather but and we thank you for that. Yeah. Why did you guys do it only fans together? What? Well, you guys do some weird shit together,

but not together, but like that. Yeah, we have similar body types. Just, yeah, just two little barrel. Yeah. Two barrel. Just. We both have muscles. Just straight.

Just us with two Bernie's mountain dogs. Just eating sand and out of a garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smoking cigarettes, eating trash. these mountain dogs. Eating sand and out of a garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smoking cigarettes, eating trash. I never only like to light up comedy and moustaches. Just spraying red bull all over each other.

Yeah. Well, we said when we got 500 patrons, we're going to get matching tattoos and we just hit 500. So you're going to get matching tattoos. So what are you going to get? Like, in the 500 and you get that. Well, we already have 138.

Why don't you get Las Vegas? Yeah, Viva Las Vegas Yeah, all right. I'm gonna get a stick it all with the Jeff Cap in a cigarette. I already have that this No really I have it. Yeah That's you subconscious. What's a Jeff cap? Well, that's a cowboy hat. How's the cowboy hat? Do my all my tattoo's are like a five panel. Yeah, yeah, I'll get that. I'll get that. All right.

Okay. All my tattoos are American traditional. So they're not like, they're all tattoos you can pick off a wall. Right. Like at specific tattoo parlors. Okay. So it's like more than one people has that design.

Right. Us having the same two tattoo was like nine. The ones that I picked out the wall are my favorite ones. Yeah. Anyone that's been my idea is dog shit. Yeah. No, it's the best. American traditional is a way. They're the artists. You know what I mean? You go in here like you did that good. Get that on. I think I'm getting a dragon tomorrow. Where on my leg? Why? You know, I'm covered, right?

I don't know that. You want me to show you? I, yeah. I do. He's got nine in the last month. Are you going I'm covered right? I don't know that you want me to show you I yeah, I do He's got nine in the last month. Are you gonna go down to on these sure why not whatever We'll do anything for views. It's right. Yeah, I'll fucking do it. Okay What the fuck kind of underwear those what you get to do you were will you hear voice? We want Baywatch is an extra Let me see your knee. Okay, so it's all over. What are you covering your junk for like that?

They don't care about your stuff. I'm trying to do their holes in those underpants. What? Never mind. What about your top? Take your top off. Wow, look at that. Who's the top down?

Watch. Yeah, sit down. it's helping me. What are you doing, Alvin Alvin? Do you just hate the side of your own flesh? Oh, shit, there's psycho eyes. Give it that in the face. You're fucking cut her. I have tattoos, but I like that.

I have tattoos too. I have, um, you look like a guy would have like Van Halen. Yeah, Van Halen. That's what I got. I got I actually got my tattoo. I couldn't even begin to guess what we're about to see. Oh yeah. I got. Oh, that's nice. Oh man. That's the great wave of Hokusai. That reminds me of like Brandon's side clothes. I'll look at that one. I'm getting a dragon tomorrow. I bet that was higher when you had a bicep. You really are Chinese. Look at this.

Wow. This actually did move over. Those clothes were way back there. I got a coiffin. I was on his back. Did it drift into that? It's just shifting back into his. Did it drift into the ice cream?

It's just shifting back into his ice cream. It's just shifting back into his ice cream. This used to peel over here. Oh my God. That's cool. What type of juice you have, Karen? On my back, there's a ballerina. Oh, there's a money sign near her ass.

I know. Yep. And then it says, don't serve me on my arm. Was that when you pass out at the bar? Yeah. That's so funny. I got one, I got one gait tattoo. What?

What would you call those? Who would you sell? Yeah. Silly. I have one of my ankle that's terrible. What is it by the first? It's bad. What is it? It's bad. What? It's my first one. What is it? It's like. Show us. Can you touch your ankles? I can touch mine. I lay you guys still doing fat jokes and I lost touch mine. I like you guys still doing fat jokes and I lost 70 pounds. You look great.

You look fantastic. We're just acts. That one is the best one you have. No, it's not. Why are you trying to be a Chinese man? I think this was a bit. Why are you starting with it? Why are you saying it's a good one?

Yeah, why are you just turning me? You said it was the best one I have and then you they turned me. Because somebody has to acknowledge that you have a koi fish, a graphic and then a dragon yeah what's going on I love it so Bobby could order easier Chinese restaurants he's like they're they all represent nobody I'm sorry did you hear what I said you're talking over people you think you move away from Buddha I icon you know what I mean you think you wouldn't want to go down that direction? Do you hear my joke? Go ahead, man. We heard it.

You just started to get away. I didn't hear it. Say they got it. It'll be better. So Bobby could order faster Chinese restaurants. That's good. Yeah, that's good. Say it with the old. How could your bits get lost in translation?

But then the long-winded stories about nothing are amplified. It's true. You're like whisper gold. and then you're like, well, when I was 17, I don't go pull my penis out. And we're all getting traumatized. And then you have a golden bit next. Shh.

Shh. Shh. She's like, how? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I was going to a prop. You cut me deep. See, that's why is that the thing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh Shit So skankfish. What are you doing? It's gangfist? I'm doing what's your fucking deal? I'm doing is that Jay show. What is that? What did you I did that last year?

I don't know it's crowd work. Okay. Ari goes around with a mic and you talk to the okay? Doing the depraved one of the nights. What is that Lewis's show? And what do you do it comedy? I'm doing the depraved one of the nights. What is that? Lewis's show. And. What do you do at comedy? Just comedy. I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, a few other like this show.

I hope they're not filming it and fucking live streaming. They are. Not that I'm judging the naked roast battles. Both of my naked. I'm gonna be topless. Not any. But everyone wants to come for your bottom.

Well, I'm not a song on. I'm not. I'm not gonna in my pussy out. What is that? I'm going to go in Topless. I'm going to Topless. They're going to be like, who let that little boy in? He's a judge.

I'm going to go to the market roast. We got to go to the naked roast. Yeah. So what are you doing? I'm going to go to the market. What are you doing? I'm going to go up. I have no idea.

I'm doing buy guys Sunday at two. Fun. And then I'm doing stand- on any by guys doing your podcast Doing my activity with the regs. Yeah, that'll be great. That's gonna be a fun one Yeah, and then I'm doing shows. I don't know. Yeah, I'm doing shows. I forget when yeah, you're probably on like the legends show That's great. Yeah, I don't know. I would I would All right as fast going. Yeah, you see Yes, he's going okay. You're gonna be like why do this boy picking on me?

I'm gonna be lost it listen listen. You're a little you a you were fucking back out all the while ago Are you huh? You seem like you're back now? Are you huh? You stone right? I'm tired. No you tired. Are you stone? You're stone you guys are fucking jerks. Why? Because you're picking on me. No, I swear to God. I'm not picking on you. I'm looking for a reason I'm paranoid 100% yes, why because I'm strong? Yeah, I'm just don't you're still I'm looking for a reason why you keep slurring and and Trilling off because I hope it's because you're stoned and not that you're having some sort of stroke thing No, because we care. Thanks, I appreciate it.

I'm good. I don't give a shit. Like, if you start to pass out right now, I'd be fucking. You wouldn't care? I would care that you don't die, but if you passed out, I would know. I think if I took a nap, like a little sea. I would let you do it. I have no problem.

I'll be right back. What is this? That's what is the podcast. Ryan Redbine. Ryan Redbine. Ryan have a nearby. What is Desquad? I have a good day. That's what the podcast is. The Ryan Red Band. Ryan Red Band. Ryan Red Band. Yeah. It's gonna be this is this is where I think Skankfest belongs.

Vegas. Yeah. I really do. I like the New York one. Houston was great. Fun. But this is where this belongs. And it's old Vegas.

It belongs on that fucked up street. There's so much bullshit going on. And those fans are just gonna blend in with that fucking crowd. And I just think this is where it should be every year. Skankfest, Vegas should just become bigger and bigger and bigger. I think, I think they should do it twice a year.

Once in Vegas, once in New York. That's what they're doing. What? Really? Yes, they're doing he's getting the New York venue now. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah Skatebest is a fun festival. It's the best the fans of the best too. They're incredible. Yeah, it's a big hang too. Yeah, it is the best and it's none of that bullshit of another festival where it's like a pissing Contest or like you don't know anyone and blah blah it's like you know everyone it's all our friends it's a one big hang and it's cool to meet the people to dig us and you do shows but more than anything it's like oh where are you going over that I'll go with you why not and

you just go where the wind blows it's amazing what type of footwear do you think I should bring sneakers those sneakers comfortable all right where comfortable but you should wear heels during the fucking Judge right? Backpack like I mean yeah, we're back to the hotel. You know we're backpack like hopless. That's hot. Oh my god How with my posture? Get a little tiny backpack that you could put your stuff in put your I feel like the search of yours Little titty's wearing back little back. Yeah. Yeah, I love a little A cup Titties.

Little Asian Titties wearing back, hello Kitty backpack. Yeah, get a little backpack on. What else? No. That's it. I heard Jason Ellis is judging and he has a big deck too. It's got a huge honk. How do you know?

I've heard from my mind. What? I could never host. I could never judge. Why? I could never host. I could never judge. Why? I could never do that. I need to robbing it every couple of minutes. So it wouldn't say.

The judges also have to be naked? Yeah. Yeah. And I think Ari's judging. Yeah, but Ari fucking, he whips his dick. It doesn't matter. So fun. Yeah, and he's a little string bean.

He's got like his nuts look like a bean dip. He's got a huge... It was so saggy. It's like that. Yeah, big saggy nuts. And his dick is saggy too. His dick was like. I imagine a big dick.

Is it a big dick? It's a big piece. It's a big piece. Do you want to see the saggy as balls you've ever seen? I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. On a transport star named Supreme North,

I love sagging nuts on the trans. Supreme North, but that's when South. Bro. Hey, you will. Is it up? I love sagging that's on the tree north. That's what South You will I mean That looks like it Do you know what I mean? What do you do you fuck your mind? I let surgery come on Like Chinese medicine

Really I want to put my hands on them like I'm picking who bets for some baseball Those are saggy either you it's hilarious. I mean she can't get the operation What are they gonna do with us? I know there's a loose 20 pounds She won't funny Yeah, how do you fuck you like it? I don't know if they put those in your asshole. Yeah, I know Or would you just wrap them up like make it part of your dick like your dick's a hot dog and they're the bun There is like a sex toy that's like that, where you stuff your balls into it. What? Yeah, my friend was telling me about this. There's a sex toy where you stuff your,

oh like a cage? No, it's like a, it makes a penis out of your balls. So that maybe the penis is in your vagina and then the balls penis is in your ass. Dude, I swear to God, I'll look at this. This is our podcast by the way. I first did this. This is a penny your ass dude. I swear to God. Oh, look at this. This is our podcast Let me go Nicole he's got I mean bald. Oh there it is. I would yeah fuck all the world is that bald

Dill stuff that stuff that ladies balls in there I don't keep them nice and neat stuff that ladies balls in there that will be from nice and neat stuff that ladies balls in there. That will be good. Pack them up for the flight. What world are we living in? Stuff that bitches balls in this little fucking thing. I love shove in my ass. What do you think?

I'm fighting. This is what we need. Yeah, we need to deal though for balls. What? What if they get stuck in there though? Let the ball sex revolution begin. Is there a song? Another page?

Go to another video. You want a video? Yeah, I would they choose ball. Joe is how it works. She's got to figure out that we could show this, but yes. Well, people have a great idea in but holes before and it hurts when you pull them out. The spokesperson walks out with them sucked on their balls. Like I have low hanging balls. Oh, dude, that'd be kind of cool. Wait, is this so that you can fucking ask and put you to the same process? Yeah. A ballgasm.

I want one. Oh my God. I want one. Oh, and you add the rings according to how are you are? Oh. Like that after the call the rings more or less. How much? Find out how much.

Oh my God. The number is the Delaware number. 302. That's Delaware. You call rings more or less. How much? Find out how much. Oh my God, the number is a Delaware number. 302, that's Delaware. You call it scale picks up. Oh, he did. His mom. Should I call right now? How much is it?

I'll buy it. Buy now. How much do you wait? Stop. How much you think? 49.99. I would say, I would say, all right, so you say 15, side of a bitch.

I'm gonna say 29.99. The sticker says keep on. What do you say? 49.99. What do you say? 59.99. I'm saying 29.99. What do you want?

24. You said, you said 49. No, no, no, I didn't. He did. I said 24. $1.24. 24. 24.

24. It's really, I know it. I know it. I got it. God. It's not a cent over 25. How much is it? Oh, the good. That's $79. Oh my God.

I got it right. I just said I bet it's $79. Oh, you said $49. I said $69. I said $69. It's literally recorded. We will find out the truth. Go back to where to go.

I bet it's $79 right before. New Nicole checking it. I'll bet you a ball though. I'll bet you a ball though. I said it. I bet you a ball though. I said it. I bet you a ball though.

I said it. I bet you a ball though. I said it. I said it's 79 right before a pop up. New Nicole. Check it out. I'll bet you a ball though. I'll bet you a ball though. I said it. Eat it. You can't change your guess at the end. Distress dad hat. Who buys that?

Scroll down. Let's see what else in the other merch. That's funny. Where's it from? Paulin. Oh, I'm getting a keep on ball in phone case. I love that you can buy single spacer rings extra ones. What? Yeah, 15 bucks. All right. Should I order one? Just get

a gasket. Why don't you just put your nuts in that water bottle? Just get it. Yeah. Just get your ass. That's a lot. No, I'm in there. Come with a straight jacket because you're fucking insane if you do this. Are you wouldn't try that? I'll try. I've been one time, I got a dildo for my wife. Chris, and I'll finish if you let me. And I got, I was putting the, it came with a caulk ring

and I kept trying to put it on, but I couldn't get it. For a half hour sweating, I was fucking chubby. I couldn't, I was screaming. And it was just, it wasn't a cockering. It was just a piece of leather that was supposed to hold the dildo in the packaging. Oh my God. Fucking you.

Oh my God. And you're gonna smoke your dick into it? Couldn't smoke your shit. You can't make your ass. That's part of the packaging you put in. Did you stay hard the whole time? I did. I love playing with my dick and balls. I love when my balls are played with.

You like ass play? Yes. Knock in the door, but don't go inside. That's what I like. Well, like, well, like, copy Christmas. Yeah. Like, Joe was witness. Hey, hey, hey, man, I'll talk to you.

Have you heard of the word of Jesus? What does it say? What is a ball? Gasoline. Wrestling comes instinctively and bizarrely. Have you heard of the word of Jesus? What does it say? What is a ball gas? Wrestling comes instinctively and bizarrely, feels like normal sense. Is this for men? Yes. I feel like it's like milk in the balls.

It's reminding me of like a dairy now. Mad gurgers in, cause that's one of a term. I like that. Ball gas. I said it to you like you offering. I'm sorry. Okay. Funny you say that.

Let me grab mine. Whoa. Let's get up on this table right now. What? Read it. Don't. There are another area code you got excited about. Fucking autistic. It's two inches in diameter. So it would be slightly bigger than most are used to. When the balls pass the wall inside you, there is a satisfying plop feeling in the ball. Plop.

Clearly be felt locking it to the end of of vagina. Kind of like a butt plug. Oh boy. So I mean, having a man's balls in your aim of vagina adds the extra level of arousal leading to unusual for women when the missionaries positional legs back when the ball does sandwiches the clitoris against the base of the penis the space rings. I have a question. Oh wait, wait, can they take an average ball length and stretch it out to fit into a bigger dickball container? Yeah, like gauge deer pierce things totally.

Yeah. Yeah. You're saying that you have guts. Well, you can stretch anything out. You can stretch it. But balls, everybody has different balls. Hold on. But you have to make them as long as you, I bet you could bring them to the ground if you

tried. Yeah. You know, it was slowly, but sure. No, no, no. Yeah. We, like we ate them. It was slowly, but sure as the other time, yeah. No, you're wrong. We'll do it with Ian. Let's start. The session one.

You can't make balls touch the ground. I bet you don't know where balls were. Over years of practice. It's not the time. If her whatever relative can get so fat that they say I'm running out of skin. Thank you. The balls.

No, you're wrong. With the veins and the, the, the, yeah. You're right. There you go. Good luck. Okay. Now I will. Here's my question. Is the ball gasm? Do you ball gasm? Does the guy ball gasm from stimulation or does the woman ball gasm? You would hope both in 2022. Is this four? I think you would hope both mutual orgasms. I don't think your balls do anything. I do. I thought in a girl's asshole is gonna make it easier for her to come. Yeah, but for us, I'm not

gonna feel my. I'm not gonna feel your balls. Go down. Go down. Go down. They're gonna like those two weddings and have to be like, I created the. Do you love me inside? What do you do? They call me Dr. I trademarked the bald. Oh, I actually am the inventor and the founder of balddo. Do you loo the ball container? You have to. Okay. But your ass is wet. Well, that's the outside.

What do I do? That's always wet. I always ask. I read this. You heard it. Give your marbles a good, close trim before you use balddo. Oh, your hair. You're streaming your ball hair. They're plenty of your eyes online Why shave? Well avoid any uncomfortable tugging or pulling those long straight cubes

shave your balls what will the experience? Painful to room what do you like mush them out like dough? Deem like a buzzer use a buzzer that probably feels good It does but you got to make sure you're nervous that cold. They're gonna be it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get pussy in the steam room. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. I eat out of the garbage, but that's where that is. That's way worth it. You know, you do that. Do you know that? I put down a towel.

It doesn't go anywhere farther. If I went in with my leg behind, if I saw some chick in there, like, yeah, I would call 911. I don't mean cat noises. No, that was a sound of your pubes, or if I walked in, I would, I mean, the women's room first of all, because I'm fucking I like women. I can see I'm skinny. I'm feeling fucking good. I'm going to the girls. It's a new body. It's funny, but girls don't fuck around in steam rooms, right? I'm sure some do. No,, but I mean guys in New York, they have to shut steam room.

I don't know. I've seen some like some moan checks and together, I'm gonna make a wrap up on. They have to shut steam rooms down in New York City. Oh, because of the gay guy. But because they, they fucking just, not our animals. Yeah.

We're fucking. What do you mean they fuck each other? Yeah. No, they don't funny, they suck each other off. They jerk each other off. Yeah. Yeah. I went into a steam room at New York sports club time square. Well, that was your first mistake.

Broadway. Yeah. What's that? I'm like, I came in and ruined the fun. Oh, wow. There was just one old guy. And there was a bunch of what do you mean getting blown by a bunch of dudes? There was no, there was just jerking off a bunch of young bucks. Really? One old guy. Yeah. And they closed the crutch steam room, sauna, they shut it down. And in my building, when I lived on 43rd Street, they shut down the steam room there, because guys would just go there and just fuck around.

Wow, it's like their own, the fog is the glory hole, makes it so you can't see them. That's great. Yeah. I mean, look if you're in a steam room and there's another guy and no around. It's like a dick. I mean you can try it. Oh, where are we living in? It's always just slowly confessing. They shut it down because of me. They shut it down because of me. It's because of me. I was blown guys. If I'm in a steam room, you're hard. What am I gonna do?

Leave? Walk out? No. I'm already not eating. I got to eat something. They all scattered when I walk in. Maybe it's because I was jerking off already. Need a little tiny meal for the day. I gotta read this ad real quick on that note. All right. I'm fucking end this smashing. I'm getting. You've heard the guy times presents the only podcast in the world that injects bone and medicine into the penis of paralyzed man. But now you probably want to know what other shows are on there. Well, check it out. They got our family Jews, an awesome trivia based drinking game podcast that you can play

along with from anywhere you are. And that's right. It's on Guy Times. It's an awesome podcast network with a bunch of edgy, funny, no holes barged shows that are fun and you'll have a great time. You can play along with other people on these game shows. They have a messed up series to enjoy.

Look at whatever you want, whatever you're into, they have it over at GuyTimes. You gotta check these guys out. They're fucking hilarious. If you're an ONA fan or YKWD fan or like edgy fucking weird comedy, go to Guy Times presents and check out their podcast. We got questions for you, mother fuckers. Are you ready for these? Oh yeah. Are these all the questions? Do we have any more? Not yet. Okay. Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah, this is the Karen. Oh

I'm ready. Are you ready? I was just waiting for you to make eye contact. I'm sorry. I love when you make eye. Thank you. Sure. Yeah, rest rest on a chin like that. I Karen your bottle. What do you think of Ian's mustache? What do you think Ian's mustache smells like oh god? Old man's powdered come just pickles and come. Yeah, a whiff barbecue. So you smell it. I'll smell it. I'll smell it.

You smell it. It's probably cigarette. Smell it. Actually, it's not bad. It's kind of like baby powder. No, come over here. Can I just say I get told a lot. I smell contrary to popular belief

of what I look like I smell good You do why up, but why are you defending yourself? Yeah, nobody said hey, and I smell like common pickles who did when I was open a bottle of fucking joke Oh my god, you're gonna smell his mustache right now sure why not I have so many reasons why not what But that thing has been buried in many people's buttholes today. It's lived a life You just dropped my phone. Yeah, fucking bottom Yeah, you know you smell like a like a 1985 gay guy like a fucking top because I just made you smell my mustard I just made you get up and come over and make me let me smell it. He just grabbed his balls. Oh my god

It's right, you little bitch. Just grab another cheek. You bottom. You come over and smell me. Tell him what I smell like. It just takes his pants off. OK. I smell that.

He goes right for his butthole. Smell my neck, not my ear. Why did you go ear? Your ear is a crazy thing to do. Probably. Old spice. Nice. Old spices. And a man's ass. You just. Old spice. Nice. Old spices.

And a man's ass. You just smell like old, you smell like an old dad. Why? Why? Why is the loudest one's the worst one? The fuck? The fuck. It really is.

Just the joke we made about you over and over. And you just said? He purposeed it for mom. You didn't purpose it. You mirrored it exactly you replicated it a second later I know there's that question for Ian. What I'm excited. Yeah, you're like a little puppy That's what the podcast is being in yeah, I am loving life What what does it like to be on the road with David tell and that's from Alan hell the what is it like question be on the road with David tell? And that's from Alan hell.

The what is it like question? I hate that. I love it. It's the best. He's become a dear friend. And we just hang out. You hang out. Yeah, all the time.

Like after the show. Yeah. What do you guys go? We walk around chain smoke to like 5 a.m. We go to gun ranges. We go to the mall, we go shopping together, we go to museums. It's really fun. Yeah, they hang out with the phone of a show. They're anonymous. Yeah, we hang out if we don't have shows together. It's great. Are you guys hang out? Yeah, I didn't know that. Like, David tell, I love Dave. Yeah, I really do. But like to hang out, I've never had that moment.

Yeah. It's like, hey, Dave, hey, how you doing? And he says something and he leaves. No, you and I are really close. He's become a very dear. Oh, good man. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's great.

We stay up and we talk on the phone like Chani Kathy's really. Yeah, I looked at Ian's fridge ones and it was just stuffed with different cake and he was like, right? Dave, like a piece of cake from every type of cake. He's like, it was my birthday. Happy birthday. Why was your birthday?

No, this was back. This is my birthday was Saturday. Happy birthday, Bobby. Really? Happy birthday, Bobby. Thank you. How old? No, let me guess.

50, hang on, I'm waiting for my happy birthday. Happy birthday, Bobby. How old? 55. You think I'm 55. No 40 40 no. No, how old do you think I am 53? 46 46 47 one dollar 52 What I feel like it's amazing right there you look great. You're a kind you look like a bright you look like a brand new I didn't say I Didn't look by a car. I said it. Whoa

Take that juju away. Hey, don't say juju. I don't need to know where you I said it based on career longevity not on how you look Okay, I And this is for Jordan. Yeah, you ready from Alex it better not be anything about being a lesbian. I'll flip this table over I swear to God just prove them right. Yeah, I Will rage it all on me a diet Roll them I won't fuck a woman if I'm talking to I will bury my face deep inside the dick book of a lady What more mother fucker says

I'm a um uh Any of the stories of your from life your story of the farmer who gave you a pig at your text 100% treatment it's all true. It's one of the hot I don't know the story. Please come to the story. I fucked up my dad died.

I thought it would be a good idea. I died. He died of a heart attack. Okay. Um, he was a, he smokes like two backs a day in. All right. And um, it's true. I thought it would be a fun idea for the rugby guys. My dad was right. We played to have a pig roast. So I had, I had had sex with this hot pig farmer who was crazy and kind of in love with me. He's a big... And I kind of bartered. I was like, hey, I fucked you, give me a pig. Yeah, he definitely fucks the pigs.

He definitely fucks the pigs. Oh, I'm a pig. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. He found me. He found me. He found me. We met that was on his farm eating the pigs food

with him rolling around in the mud. And he was like, you're no pig. And I was like, but I'll fuck you. Keep me fed and you can. Let me keep eating the slop and you can have your way with me. And then I, he roasted a pig at my dad's funeral. I didn't think it out. There was no sauces no condiments No, nothing it was a giant pig on a spit with we had no

There was no body or ashes, so it just looked like we were at a pig's funeral The farmer took his shirt off at the funeral No, and was just roasting this big and him and the pig were both oily I'm gonna wait a maker on the fuck. Yeah, she tried to fuck me the whole funeral He had to be kicked out of the funeral at the end both oily. I was like, oh wait, make her wanna fuck off. Yeah, he tried to fuck me the whole funeral. He had to be kicked out of the funeral at the end of it. It was crazy. It was crazy. She told the story on our podcast and it was a heart.

I just started crying and I had to get up and leave because it was so much pain. It was the most insane thing in the world. What, where did you live on a farm? Lansing, New York. It's like 20 minutes outside of Ithaca. Oh, some fuck nowhere, yeah. Oh shit, yeah.

It wasn't a farm, there were animals. It was just kids in a barn. It was a barn, but we live in a barn. Yeah, she grew up smelling like a wood stove. I don't understand. You grew up in a fucking barn. Totally, yeah. Like not a house.

Not a house, big barn. They had to pay for the floor. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That's not real. So you didn't have like your own room? No, we had rooms. Okay, there were rooms within the barn. Yeah, yeah, rooms for the floor. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's not real. So you didn't have like your own room. No, we had rooms. Okay.

There were rooms within the barn. Yeah. Yeah. Room within the barn. Yeah. Oh, it was it was like we lived upstairs in the barn. Okay. There were rooms.

It was for spiders and shit. Oh my God. What spiders? Are you kidding me? You mean my cousins? Yes. And then below us were stable. It was like a whole barn.

I mean, there's a lot. I mean, mice, rats, spiders, and barns. No joke. So many months. Oh my god. I love the installation. All of our cats we caught. They were just loose cats. But my, you know, my, my dad's mom did that too, like in Boston, like in Dorchester. She would catch the rats in their building and like name them and put them in cages.

Yeah. That's like a thing. But I guess that was like the depression. Yeah, this wasn't good. Yeah, nice like reason. This was like a few years ago. That's why it's crazy to hear animals. How did you escape? My mom became a lesbian moved into the city

where other lesbians were. Oh, see? Lesbians. So your father died and she became a lesbian. And average, she was a lesbian before. They got divorced. And then I lived between my dad on the farm and then my mom in the city, right? Yeah, of Ithaca.

So and then she became a lesbian after they got divorced. So when you lit, did you have heat? How did you heat up? Fucking box. We had those, we had those little boxes. Okay. The little black, yeah, little space heaters. Yeah.

So in the winter, it was a fucking nightmare. Yeah. I remember laying by my parents like feet while they would do work at by the space heater and like nothing you're gonna see. I can't say while they did something else. Sorry guys. No that too also but you know you curled up like a dog huh you curled up like a dog on the floor. Oh my god yeah totally we would all go to the space eater. Me, the dogs. Jesus Christ. Come on gang, we're going to the space eater.

Oh, we had a wood stove. We did have a wood stove. Oh, okay, great. That only gets, you know, only so far. Were you in charge of doing the washing and the churning? Nothing got washed in that place. I smelled like cat piss. And really, yo, yeah, it was disgusting.

Did you go to school? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, was the school downstairs? No, no, no, disgusting. Did you go to school? Oh? Yeah, yeah like was the school downstairs? No, no, no, we got a chalkboard We're going to school This is a rat they dissect it The school was donated by the church. Yeah, we had to we by sister went to school and the answer and you have to walk No, my dad would drive us in in the truck,

in a big truck, but you put your books in a belt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. No, we had like, everything was normal except for you had a dog and cat hair all over you. You don't remember those kids? You don't remember the kids who like lived out in the rural area, the paintball kids, or the paintball kids.

I remember the kids who like wore sweatpants every day and that was like a, you know, a red thigh. I grew. I didn't, I don't remember. We didn't have any of them. Ah, that's so crazy to me. They were all right. I worked at a farm though. When I moved to Spencer Port, New York, the juvenile system up there put me on a farm for the summer. Yeah. And I worked, there was a lesbian lady with my boss. That's my mom. I had a retarded guy that worked there. That's my dad. He used to finger, finger fuck the cat. That's me. Whoa. First day there I walked up and he had the cat. He said, Hello. Oh, and I looked at it. The cat was just like, Holy shit. Oh, then I looked and I was like, Hey man, I don't think he was supposed to do that. And he had

his finger up the cat's vagina. Oh, no. Stop. Cat was! Cat was like, hey, dude, back off. Yeah, this is our thing. Yeah, stop cock-blocking. He's like, I found this retard I'm sticking with him. I mean, think of him. Oh, yeah. And I had to do, I had to clean the stalls every morning. I had to, I mean, I had to do all kinds of shit on a farm.

It was nuts. Yeah. But it was the best job I've ever had. I got electric. It's fun, yeah. It's not a farm. My friend had pigs. Yeah. And they had an electric fence. Oh, that's right. I was like, you're messing with me. I was like, this friend had pigs. Yeah, they had an electric fence. Oh, I was like you're messing with me

I was like this is an electric and I went to pat one of the pigs. It's the worst I felt like you broke your arm. I fell on one of those fences I tried to climb over to the sheep and I fell that off the sheep We were pulling the line to the lambs. Yeah, they were gonna save one. I like climbed to the tree to try and get over there And I fell off the tree branch and on to the tree to try and get over there and I fell off the tree branch and on to the the fence. Oh, it's like a s'mine. You've come a long way.

Oh, thank you so much. You should be. Yeah, you should be up there missing teeth. You're going to have to have come a long way. You should have a sink now. She has a diet of corn and maple syrup and she survived the stampede. Yeah.

There's no rats in her building because she eats them. It is, yeah, it's crazy. It never goes, I never feel like a city person. I still get all of my nutrition from finger-fucking-the-candy books, section at Whole Foods. That's all, that's the only way. When they close that down with COVID, I lost 20 pounds.

It's sort of, when they started pre-bagging that shit, I was like, it's over for me. Oh my God. Well, listen, do we have any more questions? Uh, yeah, we have one in the chat for Ian. Oh boy. All right, Lawnoon Nikki, what does it say?

From Benny Jets. Do you still talk to Lenny and will he be back on the podcast? Oh my God. Who's Lenny? Lenny Dykstra. Oh, I saw. Yeah, he came on the podcast. He's crazy. And same, but he's the best. Oh my god. Who's Lenny Lenny Dykstra? Oh, I saw. Yeah, he came on the podcast. He's crazy. In same, but he's the best. Yeah. He and I message each other songs sometimes.

Yeah. How did you become with the fragile Lenny Dykstra? I automatically intimately get any extra. I what? What? Sending music back and forth. Oh, yeah. Most romantic. They were we send each other like foreigner and as it a result. Yeah, yeah, Aldo Nova. Hair of the dog, Aldo Nova. Stop what you feet, you shaking the whole house. Sorry. All right, I have to go. I got his phone number and called him on a podcast.

Yeah. And was like, hey, Lenny, blah, blah, blah, blah, and he hung up on me. And then I called him the next day. And was like, would you come and do my podcast? He's like, yeah, I'll be there. And so he came over to my apartment, hung out for two and a half hours. Me and Tommy Bo, Chris O'Connor, producer,

Jordy, we went and got eight fried chicken with them afterwards. It was crazy. That's fucked up. I was like, my childhood hero. That's why there he is. He, uh, he's going to come back and do the pod. It's going to be great. That's great, man. I love the studio. Thanks's going to be great. That's great, man.

I love the studio. Thanks. It looks great, man. It looks just like a hang. I love it. Yeah. You smoking there? Yes.

I smoke in there. You say proudly. He was not asking in the way. Yes. Absolutely. Yes, I do. You got to come do it. You too, Karen.

Thanks, Ian. I got one more. So who's driving? Who has a driver's license? New York folks are notorious for giving up this God, giving right and baffles me. Do you have a driver's license? Yes. Do you have a driver's license?

Do you do? I got a tractor's license. I do, but I drive a motorcycle and I don't have a motorcycle. Why is that so fucking cool to me that you have a motorcycle? Dude, because you're the coolest. I have a motorcycle license too. I have a motorcycle license too. I don't have my motorcycle license, but I drive it the motorcycle. That's crazy. Fucking cool to me that you do Because you're the coolest I am driving all the Second life is to I don't have my mother's a glasses, but I drive at the minute

I say that's crazy is it I mean if you get no accident you're fuck yeah I really want you to get one okay, so he's got it. I care yourself. I got it in Brooklyn You do it on a scooter. Yeah, oh really yeah, they do okay. All right. I'll do it Try to get one before it's getting first. Yeah, you got a life where the paper work is not anymore. Oh, I had a Massachusetts one. I just let it last. So whatever. You're going to be that girl.

I'm going to get it back. I don't get it back. I don't think it'll be hard. I can drive. Get you. You can't get it. I get a road gig, but I don't have a call. I like when other people drive me.

Don't be that girl. Do you know anything that does a car? But I think it's safer for everyone that way. You want to do a road game? No. I can't, I don't have the energy for you anymore. Ian, I love you so much, but I could never take you on the road. I don't do drugs. I can't stuff drugs. I know, but I can't stuff my feelings with food. And I don't want to wind up in a weird situation where you at a pool hall. I'm gonna pull a fucking ball dick out of your ass. He's actually way less on the road than you think. You really, you, you take a nap after the airport until the show, you're 15 minutes late. Well, what was that ride with you and Ryan

long back from Philly and you and Ryan talked to the whole, I fell asleep. Yeah, you know why? Because Ryan was fucking drunk, like just rambling and I was like, uh-huh. You kept up with it. No, you kept talking. Well, what am I gonna do? Go stop. I just want to sleep. Yeah, and I was like, uh-huh. You kept up with it. No, you kept talking. Well, what am I gonna do? Go stop. I just want to sleep. Yeah, you I mean you have a lot of energy. I do and I love that about you. I really do, but thank you. If me and you on the road, there'd be a point of like, do you shut your fucking mouth? I know. I gotta I can't I've I've dialed it back. I don't think I was on the road with Shane. He really You can't know of the knife tonight accidentally. Yeah, because you have too much energy. You're right. I have a knife I can I be honest. Yeah, I'm gonna sleep into well lately. Oh Jesus Christ. Why are this tired? I owe a Lot of people money. You do?

Not good Oh my god, but no, I Was on the road for since the 22nd I just got back and my sleep is fucked up And I'm like still on like West Coast time. You want to do a road to get together? I'd love it. All right. I'll prove to you that I'm a You don't have to just be you dude. All right. Don't be don't lie to me. It's a wild ride when you're being And oh shit My mother fuck I'm gonna read these names. I want to read, not valued thoughts. I thank you for being all the Patreon members.

New Patreon members, I love you guys, Ladybugs, you're the best. Thanks for spreading the word about the special. Thanks for buying the special. If you're a Patreon member and you haven't got the special yet, you are a fucking bowtard. Go get it, luicik.com. I want to thank all you Ladybugs out there. Michelle Trout. Thank you for being a member. Dwayne Matt Isingberg, Eisenberg, Aaron Putnam. That's

fucking Aaron. What are you doing, dude? Just, uh, anyway, Sam Gonzo, Trevor Washman, IG Rady, 33345. Thanks thanks for joining the patreon you guys are awesome I hope you guys are liking the extra YKWD. We do every week and The culture and Kelly the J.O.P. Jerkoff party on Saturday nights. I was there this Saturday night Do we have more names that I read them all right? Yeah, you're professionally reading this shit What the J.O.P. Jerkoff party the ball dough Insane we do the you bit of the jerk off party, the ball dough in St. We do the, you bit of the jerk off party.

No, you've never been. Never. Do you want to go? Yeah, what is it? I'll also have Mike send a link. Every Saturday night at 10, 30, 11 o'clock, I open up my zoom to all the fans of the Patreon. Oh, that's fun.

And they come, but they're fucking, I mean, dude, they're very funny and they're very mean. Oh no. Like Vos got mad one night. I like it. I mean, you'd do great in it. Yeah, you'd be great. Yeah, it's a fun time.

I pop in and we have. Open up your zoom. Fuck it. Open it up. We did it during the pandemic. We just had like, we had a lot of people in there. Now it's sometimes it's big, sometimes small, but it's still fun. What do you got going on, Karen?

I'm going to be at Side Splitters in Tampa on November 12th. Follow me on Instagram at Karen Fian. Subscribe to my YouTube Karen Fian. I have a podcast. Only Fian's new episode every Friday. Very funny. Always funny. What are you that best? I animal 6.9 on Twitter Twitch and Instagram November 17th to 19th. I'm headlining punchline Philly. Come on out. Gonna be a good time. Number fit. November 5th.

Cleveland, Ohio December 8th. Pittsburgh improv. Adam more dates. I'm excited. Beany and with Jordan. patreon.com slash beany and pod. YouTube.com slash beany and pod. It's a good time.

Come check it out. Bobby and Karen on the next episode. Who now? I'll do it Karen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. My turn. Yeah. Oh my god. Yes. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Let's get a fight for. I got a fight for you to kill it. Yeah. Okay. The 21st of October. I'm a bottle rocket at in Baltimore. What is that? I'm some whack. It's whack. And then I'm in DeMoyne November 4th that weekend. And then I'm in what's this one? And then I'm in Cap City, Austin, Texas, the 11th, and then Houston, Texas, the 18th. Come on, those please. I'll go check her out. Very funny. I've been on the road with all three of these people and they're fucking the best. Bobby.

No, you are so much. I love you. And you look fantastic. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. Specials great. And can I just say real quick, one of the coolest fucking things was seeing 4th of July at the premiere and the reception you got and the love you got

in that movie in the beaconacon theater was fucking awesome. Oh, that was beautiful. I love that we're all there together. Yeah, it was great, man. I'm gonna be a scary actor. I'm gonna be a judge. I was brutal for that. What? The actor. Oh, yeah, they don't sit there while you guys fucking fired off riffs and they would be like, then they would say something earnest and everybody's like, boo. Ernest and everybody's like, boo. That was far too tough. Phoenix, Arizona, CB live. I will be there the 20th, 22nd.

I'm going to be doing Tom Saguira next week, Rogan next week. No way. And then yeah, I'm excited about both of those shows. I love, I'm doing Tom and his that my my mom's house, which I fucking love that podcast. Cleveland Ohio, hilarities, and then I'm going out doing Tim Dylan's podcast, Bert, Billy Burr. I'm going to be doing a lot of shows. And the next couple of weeks, plug in the special. Go get it. I'm very proud of a kill box directed by produced by Mr. Louis CK One of the funniest guys walk on the earth and so go get it as website right now buy it

We are going Yeah, I love Leah. I got to run to the spot. All right. I'll see you later. Thanks for coming on. I gotta See you guys next week on you know what dead later guys next week on You Know What Dad Later. you