Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Judy, Stop Interrupting

Episode Date: December 11, 2017

Bobby is joined by Mark Normand, Rachel Feinstein, Joe List and a very vocal Judy Gold! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a costifier. It's podcast, it's no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already sent you the rug. Can I get a mic? No, what the fuck?

That was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Wait! Side to the coin!

That's how it all holds the dots you want to pop out. You want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Just a fun show. This is just a fun podcast. Chill, Judy Gold shows up.

Oh, wait, come on now. No, I like Judy. Yeah, a little combative. It's true, wouldn't you be? Two or eight feet tall. I guess so. It's going to be a good show today. I'm very excited.

Two of my favorite people are here right now. Gabby and Mike, I love you guys. And Joe and Mark Norman. Hey, the greatest name you could have if you live in Boston. Two of my friend Mark Norman, what are you doing right now? I gotta, you ever get little stomach quivers?

No. Like a low body, like quivers? No. Quivers? Like a low body, like a zap? No. No, that's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a zap? No, that's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Yes, and it will expand the actual Intestant and sometimes it breaks if it breaks you'd done you just got shit Shootin is that real I mean is that what I have I made up every single way? Yeah, I just made it occasional

Good improv though. Thank you, man. We really yes, and yeah, we're really good together. Yeah. Yeah, we should start a group over a yes a bag Who's a French TV? But you guys get like random things all of a sudden you get a quiver like a, you got another one? This is occasionally because today you hit one right there. Chipotle. But what's the slow? I have a lump on my side. What do you mean?

There's like a lump, like a lumpy thing on my mind. Don? Might be a bagel. Actually, I'd be a lump on her side. See that got me a u-choke and then me choke. I don't want to be all Lewis J. Gomezy here, but it is a little hurtful that none of us are in the intro. You got Amy Schumer in there and you got Joe DeRose in there. Rick, throw it out, throw out a listy.

You don't even need soda or Lewis. You're in there. You're in there. I don't think so. Yeah, you are. I didn't hear me. Yeah, like, yeah, that's that was your that was your thing on the podcast You only said things every once in a while, but it was the truth

Yeah, I just didn't hear it in the intro. I'll put you in. What do you say some right now that we can throw in aides I think it's in that's what you're getting also can you do me a favor ball? I know we talked about this Oh, what is this fucking therapy? I know we talked about this off off mic. Yeah, what? Can you educate some of your new people? I got the lovely Gabby beautiful woman, nice person. She's calling me and saying, we do a Yankee swap. You're bringing a gift. I made up the Yankee swap. I'm the Yankee swap. You got to tell these people. This guy's asking me to sign the thing. Oh, that's my show. I'm going to show since 1997. I don't even know who this guy is. Who is the same?

It's he's from the Bronx and she's wearing a mechanics jumpsuit. Yeah. No, I'll tell you why. She was 11 when I came on the show. Attention. It's only reason you were that to move freely. Okay. I bought a lot of wiggle room.

My West sweat pants. You look like you're going to roll out from underneath the desk. Right. I'm a panic creeper. You look like you're in grease three. Well, you're on the tea birds. Yeah, she's in grease three going. John Chavolta is a guy.

He was in. I got it. He danced. Where's the bomb bandana? Where's the bomb bandana? Oh, no, explain to me what the bomb data is. Where's the bomb bandana? And it's the bomb and then. Oh, no, explain to me what the bomb data is. Where's the bomb and it's the bomb. Dan is not the bomb and his face if he can hit his chin.

I think I heard what are you doing? I got a cold. Don't do that. I'm a beauty. He just gave the wherever sits there next. Get your cold. I'm sitting here next. I'm on the show. Play cool. Judy's coming. I could. It's like the T. Rex. I can see the water. And she coming. I think so. I can feel it. Oh my god. We stop. I'm nervous. How did she get in? I should kick the door. She had lesbian powers. Yeah. All right. I can somebody go see if Judy's coming up, please

Let's be in power. So I got some ready to get her. She's gonna stop at the top of the stairs and take a 10 minute break When she gets that's true. It's she's going through menopause. Call that pulling a Bobby break when you get that's true. It's just going through menopause. The call that pulling a Bobby. I shut the fuck up. Oh, yeah, it's not Judy. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, I thought Lewis got fat again. That guy's not fat. I got you. I'm getting a taller. I'm getting high. How are you? Yeah, right here. We have some, uh, some guests coming in, um, regular guests,

actually, who've been on before. That't Judy it was just two people all right. All right. All right. Let's let's get this going today. We have a great show for you. Meal. You're right. Um, it's it's it's it's rather annoying. It's a little odd. A one piece, a one piece dickie. Yes. For a, for a little cute blonde like. It's very, you're trying too hard to be trendy. You're jealous of me. I'm, but yes, I am. I wish I was a little thin blonde from Queens. You wish I could get in that right now. I, that's why I can't go to a skydiving simulator,

which I'd love to do. I just don't know if the propeller would actually give me lift or they'd have a onesie, because you have to wear those little onesies. Anything like go-carts when you have to put those little the onesies on. I know I'm not I would love to go go-cart riding but I know number one they're not gonna have that onesie. Right. That's gonna fit me. Yeah. Yeah. Can't paint. What? Can't paint. Why? They wear those things. Oh the onesies. The gump suit. Yeah, the white one. You can paint without, you can do so. You can paint your own clothes. Speaking of the big white one, who wants to Start. You should make her listen to every episode from

1998 on. I mean, I'm not fucking, this team is the best team I've assembled. This is the Avengers. I go to battle with these three. He's on video. Mushy Mike is killing it on social media and everything else. And Gabby's knocking it out of the fucking park with book in this show and have everything prepared. So I'm not fucking with it. If she wants to think that she invented Yankee swap, you invented Yankee swap. She's doing a great job of explaining my ideas to me. Yes. All right, here we go. This is it for real. This is no longer a practice run.

This jumpsuit is bugging. Is it bugging anybody? I don't like it. I mean... Fixing choppers. It's cultural appropriation. What culture? Wow. He took a breath.

He took a, oh my God, they're gonna laugh at this breath. He went, culture appropriation. Oh, it was like a Nick DePolo sip, you cock sucker. If you ever, if you ever take, they're gonna laugh at this breath again. You're fired. And he didn't even have a culture in mind when he made the show.

It was mine, but that's mine. Puerto Rican? Mexican. Oh. Mexican. Oh, they fixed shit. It's wearing Dickies also. Oh, I see.

Well, Dickie started with Whidey, but who's counting? I need to get appropriate of it. So anyways, we have a great show lined up. Judy's coming up. I think that's Judy. I don't think we've ever had Joe for. You know, they met Judy Gold. No, I'm scared she's gonna be like, who's this new guy?

And I have to be like, I'm doing comedy 25 years. Well, he started Yankee Swap. Oh god, they, God. They're already out there. Is she loud? She's already hitting on the mechanic chick Oh Just as I predicted Oh, here he is. Hey, dude No, that's our thing All right, well it's good to see's our thing. All right. Well, it's good to see you.

Come on. All right. You know what? It would be a nasty. Judy, you know, you have you coming on the podcast. I love you. You know that. But when you come on, it's like my mother just showed up because you

start embarrassing me in front of my friends. Talking to the air. We're on a fucking podcast. There's a microphone. If I made it red, so you know where it is. There you are. He was trashing you before he came up here. No. He was trashing.

I'm just saying you're a presence. Yeah. You know what? You're doing it. I'm not mean. I'm a fan. Why are you scared right now? Why are you scared right now? Yes, I'm a loved one.

No, he's like, you know, he's like one of my kids. Yeah. No, here's the deal. Yes, no great like one of my kids. No, here's the deal. Yes, no great. But thanks. You do smell great. You know, I bathe now. I just started.

You really, you always smell great and you always look great. Yeah. Whatever, what do you need for me? I don't know, maybe some more men and paws photos on Instagram. Look the fuck up. What the fuck? Do you know how many women thank me for that?

How many? A lot. How many? Name lot. How many? Name it. Three. I bet three. No, it is. It's like ragu.

I'm not kidding. It's like when I was 13. It's like a regular full on period. Really? And now do you get cramps chest as bad? Yeah. Go heating head. You know that?

I haven't used that since that's- My ex was a big heating person. Organisms are supposed to be good for it. Which I always tell my wife and she thinks that I'm lying trying to be selfish and get laid so if you if you had a If you had a you know you Okay, I just check it. Nice to see you said you did everybody's nervous nervous Why is everybody nervous around Judy you guys are nervous

Who is Lewis Gomez look she comes up an eight foot lesbian walks up and you get all fucking nervous Well, we saw Judy on TV when we were young youths, and I was 10 years into comedy. Right? 55, you look great. Full of hair. You look really good for 55. You have 55?

You're not supposed to add that. Holy shit. You're not supposed to say 40-age. You just say you look good. What, she looks good for age? Um, should we tell them when in the wedding? Oh, yeah, we're getting hitched. Yeah, really?

Uh-huh. I think it's good for my career. Would you bang mark? Well, she's you know into the gas. I mean I'm not I'm not in the Trim the Clam the bubble gum Where's my water and coffee like it's right? I don't know. Oh candle that water Yeah, I already tried to wear a single water guys, you know, I just committed my staff

She's we just get the water and stop staring at You go on. No, no, we gotta get away for her just like I came up with the Yankee swap idea All right, listen all right, yeah, go ahead first. Why I have to I have an ad right up front I'm gonna do it fuck off and it's very It's for fuck off. No, it's one of my front. I'm gonna do it. Fuck off. And it's very, uh, is it for fuck off? No, it's one of my favorite. I'm so excited that they came on. Joe, you know, I'm a, I'm a gorilla.

I'm a barbecue guy. A gorilla. Yes. You're a big gorilla. Yes. Is that what you said? It's not what I said. A gorilla glasses.

Thank you. I like your voice. I got them at, uh, on Central Park Boulevard. They're called geeks. Geeks. That's the name of the brand. Central Park Boulevard. Where? In, uh, in, uh, in geeks. That's the name of the brand. Central Park Boulevard, where? In in Westchester.

That's just I like those GEKS. Yeah, geeks. How do you I'll spell it? Okay, you can spell it other way. How could be geeks with a Z if it's like a street? Yeah, could be geek. You stop helping her. He acts geeks.

She doesn't even know who you are. Well, I thought you're my friend. I know, I'm saying it could have been geeks with the Z. I stuck up on you with Gabby. No, that would be geeks. She doesn't even know who you are. Well, I know I'm saying it could have been geeks with disease. I stuck up. Are you a gabby? No, that would be geeks. No geeks ends in a z like the African Americans. KZ. They do. Z's. Oh, plural boys in the hood.

Nice hair. I really like the hair. Oh, thanks. I just woke up a little bit. What is that like? I mean, I haven't done that. You have a kid. What's the last time you fucking woke up at like one o'clock in the afternoon? You can't. I think I have to lunch.

You just can't. You can't wake up late. No, because your kid, my kid's going to school. I want to see him before he's going to school. The real, I always feel guilty because I, in my head, I'm like, I'm just going to stay in bed. And they let me, my wife, let's me. But then I hear him having fun.

But then you're right, right. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, what if he dies today? What if something happens? And I'm like, fuck, if he dies today, and I was in bed, huh? You're gonna die before him. Well, I mean, if you're being realistic, I thought we were giving our, you know, our fans

or your thoughts. Yeah, I do. I do the same thing. Yeah. But like, you know, I make him, I set the timer on the coffee maker. Yeah, but your kid is 19. He's 16.

Same shit. Oh, you'll see. It's a tough day. Wait till their babies. Yeah, but your kid's not a baby. He's been seven foot tall since he was a child. Wait till your kid is 16. You still think of them as babies.

I won't. Have you walked in on a masturbation situation? Yes, definitely. My kid's four. He was just having fun. I just always. And I'm in the door. If you can't, if Jiz doesn't come out, it's fun. My kids four. He was just having fun. I just, I always, not in the door. If you can't, if Jiz doesn't come out, it's fun. That's true.

If there's no pubes involved, it's like, yeah, let's just have a good time. The dick goes, yeah. Yeah, once he gets pubes and stuff comes out, it's like, whoa, whoa, put that away. Yeah. I'm very good. I always knock.

I always, I don't, nothing on the bathroom door when you're taking your, but you saw a stroke or two. Well, I've walked in, it's like, what? And then, you know, I see a little bowl. He Jiz? Nothing on the bathroom door when you're taking your but you saw a stroke or two well I've walked in it's like what and then you know I see a little He's a chicken. Oh, I thought that's even blue My just I said both of them here. I just do a funny podcast without you. What is this? NPR?

She had up. Go ahead. Do you think no? I told them where I said here's where the Washwax. I'm sorry for saying shut up. I shouldn't say that. I was trying to I was joking you talk as much as you want So I Showed them where the Washwats are Come right showtankery. Yeah, do you throw the money wash them? There's rage. Well, they put it in the fucking drawer like a draw. Yeah, it's in the it's in the fucking drawer like a draw yeah it's in the it's in the software well I wait I know you're gonna use the socks

but here's like really good wash red that are better so jizz into a wash rag and you'll wash that I think paper towels is the way to go you just throw me out now it's bad for the environment it's a waste oh well that's not because they'll find those paper towels thousands of years later and they can

actually yeah check the DNA they'll get the DNA and be able to make humans again. Yeah, those paper towels are gonna be around. They will be there under the ground. You'll find jizz and towels and take those jizz and make a whole new human race. How much did you guys masturbate? Oh, a lot three times a day minimum. Yeah, I just a pre-internet porn. I used to fuck the Vaseline can. Yeah, literally sick my dick in it. That was fun. Yeah, and then I'd have to pinch.

I'd have to pinch the head of my dick and like toothpaste mush Vaseline around it. So it was you were constantly getting hard on. Yeah, it's a hard now. Yeah, and sometimes if like sometimes if you're ever watching TV, so that I gotta go. Hey Rachel, speak into comrades. I'm sure it's such a style. Jesus, why would you say that about her? Very stylish. So I'm trying to, you go. Hey Rachel. Speaking to come right. I'm sure it's such style. Jesus. Why would you say that about her? Very stylish.

I'm trying to go up over the top. Well, you know, I'll tell you a style, the ladies in the room. Yeah. Yeah. All the ladies in the place with style and grace. But it's always been like that with male comics. They're always sloppy. Like I remember Adam Sandler.

I catch a rising star. I like to Jerry Siphon. Okay. I'm not talking about him. But I remember Adam Sandler, I catcherizing star. I like to Jerry Sifle. Okay, I'm not talking about him. But I remember Adam Sandler starting out going up at the catcherizing star and Lewis Fran just like, he's going to be a star. And I'm like, he looks like a fucking slob. Yeah, mug my words, go, and of course he's a big fucking star.

Big star. And you're on my podcast and Lewis told me I couldn't work there. And he did not. Louis Franda. Yeah, why? At Caroline? Yeah, why? Tom Kitty, he did it for the joke. Um, that was a funny joke, Rob. Everyone wasn't that funny. Technically, if that was a joke, you do get the bomb, Dana. All right, listen, we didn't think it was a joke. That's why we didn't hurt. She's on you for such a bad joke. It really wasn't a joke. I was just joking. Oh, all right.

Well, joke was the joke was that I said it was a joke, but then she started screaming in my ear. So my, my nervous system shut down when Judy started laughing, but you're wearing a nice shirt. Also, we should point out I thought it was a Ted Baker. Yeah, you look good today. Thank you. I tried.

I didn't wear a jumpsuit from Dickie's in a mechanic shop. Yeah, I tried. I'm like, I'm suits are in. Yes. I'm just going to say that Keith told the audience I dress like a district attorney. It was pretty good. And it was so accurate. I was like, God, you really do. I really do. But not a not an like a brand new one. He's like, God is Rachel dress like a district attorney. I'm like, shit, he got me. She really does. She dresses like she's in the court system. Yeah.

It's funny because he's such a terrible dresser, but he's still, he says, what is this? Keith Robinson. Yeah. One of the Keiths, do you know? I didn't hear the word Keith. Keith dresses like he's a retired star ship lieutenant. Yes. A lot of sweaters with stripes.

Yeah, sweaters with little zippers that go fucking diagonal. Oh, he finds disgusting tops from Nigerian shops in Paris. And he had a stroke. Jesus. Jesus. I'm not good at driving. He's got to put the easy, he has to, you know, dress. So it's easy to put on and on.

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Can I have a man great puppy? You can have two. Can I see your man great? I bought my dad. What size man great do you have? I, well, you, you buy them. They all come on the size. Yeah. And uh, right then it's a great I'm telling you it is great because flare ups on a grill and I grill a lot or a pain in the ass I have flare ups all the time not that type

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I'm gonna fucking burn you right now with the great I'm gonna burn you right now, Rachel maybe take it back I'll I won't bring up the message. Let me bring up the text message from the last time. Who times you've rejected me? Do times! You said to me, I never get invited. I said, Rachel, anytime you come, I have a party you're invited. Comp launch, fucking VIP anytime. You didn't say that, but I invited you twice.

And you rejected me. And I'm in love with you. I'm gonna reach out. I love you. I invited you two times. I'll go to the text. Let's go to the text. I'll go to with you. I'm gonna reach it. I love you. I invited you two times. I'll go to the Let's go to the text. I believe I have been invited, but I've all the ones I've missed here's the thing. Let me just say this I've missed the ones the ones that you haven't Invited me to only because we all hate ourselves. Those are the ones that remember I remember

Here's a bike here. Yes, you have invited me and Bobby You did say I had an open invitation although it's hard if you don't know the time and date But that's crazy. I get I call the last two times. I said Rachel party She said I can't make it and then one time you said you were coming and I bought now you're gonna know this I go out and buy a hamburger for you. I buy a hot dog for you I buy sausage for you and I buy three make sure there's three steak tips for you for you. I buy sausage for you. And I buy three. Make sure there's three steak tips for you. So when you're invited, I add that I have to add all this up because I can't have I can't buy all this stuff and only 10 people show up.

You'll lead it. Okay, I will say this. I will say this. Maybe that you know, in the olden days, when you used to wear the black leather jacket and you were like bad boy, Bobby. And you know, you kind of came in town and you sort of rejected everybody like the funds and stuff. So this might be old feelings for this. It might be. I love your Rachel and you're invited. You know, I love you. You're always and Judy, you are invited. If I give you the invite, you can come. But don't just show up. I feel like Judy was pretending. Judy, you know, I told you too, you have the open invite. I've given that to and don't think that I give that out to anybody.

I've the certain people that bitched at me for the Patrice had this problem. You know, he used to, he called. He's cured now. He, he's just, what? He, he lives in the bright side. His anniversary is two days ago. Oh, you just missed it. All right is two days ago. Oh, you just bested all right. Two days ago. We're back around.

Remember when do you remember when I finished this fucking thought I know, but you paused and it was a right you're right. Go ahead. Remember when Nick had a barbecue and then a barbecue. I thought he said barbecue. And then, I love on the way. Patrice showed up with $400 of the Chinese food at a barbecue. That's what he brought to the barbecue. Patrice, he brought like seven bags of Chinese food.

He's like, what, I brought food. And we're like, you fucking idiot. The first time we ever came to New York, all of us, me, Burb, Marley, Dane, Patrice, we all came and we were looking for shit to do so we went to the movie theater to watch a movie up in Times Square. Patrice went and bought, I don't know,

maybe $30 worth of Chinese food, brought it a bag. He had to hug into the theater. Sat in the seat, opened up this Chinese food. Everybody in the theater was like, did you see who changed? Oh my God, that's all right. Are these other Chinese food now with the, everybody was miserable because it smelled so good.

And he's sitting there eating it, and 10 minutes into the movie, you see a snap, his chair, his snap. Oh my God. Into the guy behind him, and he just went like this, and just started eating again, and watched this guy just sat

there with Patrice in his lap the whole time. Oh, I love Chinese food. Who doesn't? It's really good for you too. Listen, here's the deal. This, he used to have the same problem. Colin got mad at Patrice. They got no big fight over them.

And then Patrice's mommy had to help fix that. Didn't she have to come over? She will because he, this is the deal. He never he invited Colin one time. Colin said no. So he said, all right, fuck him. He's not going to come. So he never invited him again. And Colin called them back. The next when he didn't get invited the next time he goes, what do you, what do you, why do you, why do you invite me? He goes, it's because you're going to say no. He goes, do you ever come? No, I'm not coming to you, barbecue, but I still get the invite fuck face because I'm your friend. Uh-huh.

So that goes with certain people. That's what I want. I want to say if I have ever rejected me. No, I just want to say. You know, one time I just saw a text and I was like, I don't think I was on and I think you haven't. I'm just saying, and it hurt because I thought I want to be invited to bad boy, Bobby's barbecues.

He's a fucking bad boy. I want to get involved. I'm saying this right's Barbecue, he's a fucking bad boy. I wanna know how to get involved. I'm saying this right now, Rachel, you are invited every single time. Fuck yeah. I'm so happy. Dear God, it happens today. You wanna know?

I think you borrow my notebook and make a note and take it and just write it. All right, I definitely got invited to. Oh God, we have to go through. Oh, she's got a way to do the things. I got invited to Max's second birthday. Yeah, that's it. We that's it. Max is nine. That's it. That's the one. And then I said, thanks to what'd you say? What are you laughing at? You wrote, you sent me

the invite. Yeah, I wrote he's so cute. Thanks so much for the invite. Yep. For tonight. Yeah. And then he goes, like, you write like the last invite. I said, I was in a fucking show and had a matinee. So she got two invites. And he jacked at me both times. That comes the time where you go fuck you. Oh my god.

Guess what? Guess what Robert Kelly wrote. What? This is why I love him. Why? What is this? It's too private. I'm so sorry about your mother.

That was sweet was that. Yeah, because I'm a good guy. I know. I sent you some stuff too. Rachel, yes. Rachel was lovely was that. Yeah, because I'm a good guy. I know. I sent you some stuff too. I don't. Rachel. Yes. Rachel was lovely. What she said. She sent me. Why are you climbing on to my moment? There was a sentence to that, but I do want to. But Rachel was very supportive. What the fuck? How did it become about her? It was about me and you. All right. It was odd. I just started thinking about what a lovely person I am

All right You are though Bobby you are you're you've said some kind things. I'm a fucking great guy. I think he's a great guy Yeah, yeah, Bobby I mean Bobby married me. That's right. Yeah, I was there mark was there I remember you oh, what's that? Man great Do it two weeks. I'm on are you on it two weeks? September 21st all right Where takes I'm wearing this takes another swing Let's go shoot together. I'm not gonna suit You're out of your fucking suit. Not wearing a suit I'm not a douche. It's fallen. It's doesn't matter. I'm not wearing a fucking suit. You should wear a suit

No, you should wear a suit. Here's a fucking where jacket. I don't I don't fit in suits Well, I don't wear belts. I'm not enhancing my fat. I'm fucking fucking it away. Okay, and therefore Listen, I'm gonna wait lost challenge.. Okay. And then for listen, I gotta wait lost. You know what? You got to dress who you are. That's it. No. Every time I've dressed like somebody said I agree. I agree. I used to buy some daily bombed. Carson daily to bomb. Jimmy Kimmel. Fuck Jimmy. Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel. I was gonna be your act I did I did a bunch of

Yes, I did a bunch of Arsenios Yeah wow And I did okay I did okay but I Tated what I wore Someone has to tell Gabby who Who that is

Hello, folks I want like this You don't know Arsenio Hall? No He won the approval Oh my god I want to fucking kill myself Gabby's 14 years old She's no joke. I'll do Go grease lad. Literally. She literally was in born when our city was on TV I guess. Yeah, my son's 21

Your son is very hot by the way, Judah. Oh, thank you If I said that my hope if I that, my whole career would be taken away. He's 21. He's legal. If I said that about some of his daughter, my whole career would be taken away. So we're talking about this. When Henry has always been exceptionally handsome,

when he was in high school, is this your sperm or is this a, has this work? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I just like, is it, is it? You haven I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I of handsome and arousers. First of all, wait a minute.

But wait, Henry Arous. Rachel fell off her chair. When Henry was in high school, I can't tell you how many mothers came up to me and was like, you know what, if I, yeah, did he get the game? What? Did he get the game? You can't get it. It's not a thing that she passes down.

She's definitely frozen in. She has it. That's like an asshole thing to say. No, he's I've seen somebody for a little gays frozen in ice cube trays and have given people the gay. So don't let's not. Actually last night we were talking on the phone and he said to me, my old ice cube tray. Joe didn't work. We're finished. It's fine. He said to me last night. He said to me, I got my own ice cube tray. Joe didn't work that well. I'm never finished. Sorry, go, go. It's fine. He said to me last night, he said like I was at a bar once. I don't know, we were talking about sexual harassment and shit. And so he's like, you know, I was at a bar and some guy, I was, came out of the bathroom

and grabbed my ass and said, I'm gay and you're the hottest straight guy here. Moody. And he was like, don't fucking grab my ass. I mean, but he's not it. You know, like, so not home of all. Did you hear the comedy's yellow podcast about when they did the bow guy, brand I'm got a bit stupid, but I didn't stupid key that old fucking comic.

He was just outing every game comic that's not out They also missed one they've been a bunch but then they said the person's name later Jay is for gay I know all the gays don't I I don't know but this old man was going this one game And they were like guys stop it He was like what about this one game that one game? DB game so dumb. He is the out job Everybody watch his special winding down on the porch and he's

Watches special from the left Really? I haven't heard that yet. Watches special from the left. But they believe the bunch out and then they say a bunch of first names still that are on beat. I have to say something as a gay. Okay. Yes.

As an outgain for a long time. And as a man, half man. A man great. It upsets me the most that these people are in the fucking closet. Right. What pisses me off the most? Come on, green bomb! Come on, what?

Dream bomb. Green bomb. Here's not a game. Not game. Come on. Buddy. Not game. He's not game.

Horses, I've tested it. I'll tell you what. I brought him on the road for a week. I just... What? Tested. I got a one room with King Bed. Get out of here. Yeah, I walked I walked around Maybe tell you something without the whole week long

Okay, why do you think you're a Straight You scared Is a bumman then a big now it's a Yeah, that was a bum man then I mean now it's a fucking Dear band like your party walking around It's just it is maybe a lesbian Okay, we both We both have muppet bodies, so let's fucking relax. I work so hard on my body. What do you do to it?

You go to build the bear Rachel would like to say something Robert Rachel was Rachel as the prettiest person in the room. Go ahead You're great in that space. Yeah, see I'm good. I really work out and Rachel's You just told me that I am when you're saying to me you're saying to us. I walked around naked in front of Harrison, so I know it's like No screamer. Don't ever do this again because what happens under your arms freaks me out, okay? Listen They're not no screamer. Yeah, don't ever do this again because what happens under your arms freaks me out. Okay, I just got Himatitis I Okay, you're fucking body. I get your fucking body and your criticism. Oh shit. I cover my arms. Listen Listen Judy what I don't I don't know you get great arms. You actually do have a try

I feel like people are getting hurt here. Let's go back to the fact that you should be wearing a suit on the tonight show. Listen, all right, let's go back to that. First of all, shut up. I, but it's shut up. No, and you shut up and Rachel. You are. Listen, we're still in the here with Rachel had to say. I'm gonna get to it. I want to say something.

I'm my fucking show with my my my my I have the better microphone. Screaming. Listen, Judy, we're talking about the game. Let's go back to the days and that are not out. I want to say this. I did not fucking you are talking like I really took Harrison on the road with me. And what I, that was a joke. I never took him anywhere.

It was a fucking joke. Yeah, I never thought he worked with you. Yeah. Listen, here's the one that out there. Can I just say as the voice of gay, as voice of gay the fact that people hide that's exactly with a sound the voice of gay. I thought would sound like by the way as the voice of gay. Go ahead.

That's the voice of gay. I just have to say no, it's just really upsetting to me. I came out so many years ago, 20 something years ago when it was hard to come out when it was bet I had to I had kids. I was never going to be go on stage and be like, did you really have to come out when it was back I had to I had kids I was never gonna beat go on stage and be like did you really have to come out were you before Ellen yes wow before pretty amazing though and to be on the road as you know I can't even imagine that it was it was more it was harder as a Jew I have to say I got more you two people you're a Jew too yeah yeah I did and people are like oh didn't have an effect on your

career but it definitely had an effect on your career, but it definitely had an effect. It's lesbian. Yes. And people telling, yeah, because I was like on sick. Yeah. You have that person. That's tough. And I was like, I can't, what kind of lesson is it to my children? If I'm like, I don't talk about you on stage or, you know, can I ask you a question, though? Now you say that you have because if you say I'm a lesbian out in the open, they start casting you as a lesbian. But, but it's also all, let me ask the question before you fucking talk. Isn't that what you want?

Isn't that what you want? No, I want to be cast. I wanted to write, I'm a comic. I'm not a comic who does it to get something out. But here's the question. I wanted to write about my family. But what I'm saying is, if they cast you as Ellen had to date men and play these, had to play a woman who liked men

because she wasn't out. But if she said, hey, I'm a lesbian, then she could do a show about being a lesbian. No, she couldn't. No one wanted lesbians on television. The cancel. It's not true. It got canceled.

Can I add something as Judy's emotional representative? What I think, Judy. Good look. And I love the church. It calls me Judy. What I think as her e-rep. But she dresses like a DJ. But it's not just that I think, and I have no qualifications

to discuss this. But what I think you might be saying, and tell me if I'm wrong or right is that is that when you talk about it They make it your whole identity, especially at that time and that's it They can't see past that or around then she's saying she wanted to have her own diverse comedic talk about all the things She wanted to talk about She wanted just be screen And I

Sexy voice, but I didn't want to cast I didn't want to be as a let. I just wanted to be cast as any other actors cast, but You know, I have worked. I've seen I had a lot of friends dying the AIDS crisis. I've seen the community come together I wish I was me and my friends were during their crisis, but no, but you you know look at you 23 I was your age and my friends were dying and it was like a normal thing. Like, oh, he's going to die. He's going to. Yeah. It was a horrible time, but also the fact that we fought and fought and fought.

Right. And now these people are like, I'm not going to tell people I'm gay. The fact that you think there's something wrong with it. The point is, but nobody cares anymore, either though. But I'm saying this. I don't think anybody cares. I mean, true. Who cares? They care. Obviously, I'm talking about the reason people was scared. I was saying the general public. The

general nobody cares about. We've seen gay, gays everywhere. Nobody cares about getting what you don't live as a gay. So you don't know that. That's not you don't know that. That's true. Now, but it is Bobby and I fucked. That's why I had a mario so I can be part of my. Yeah, it was a double thing. Oh, clever. It was a double on ton drove. I'd have sex with you.

I would fuck you. Yeah. I'd like to blow Bailey J. I've said it before. I'll say it again. I'll want you blower. Great. I'll come on your back. I'm well, you have to come away.

Bad guy. You don't like this respect me. You can come on my front or ask me where I want it. I want to you blower. Great. I'll come on your back. Well, you have to come away back. You have to disrespect me. You can come on my front or ask me where I want it. I want to know the game. It's that one. 10. Have some respect. Yeah. I'll write it to you.

Yeah. All right. What is on the geek glasses? Rachel, what were you talking about? And I don't out people, by the way. I don't, but I, I really ask us to. No, I just don't, I don't get it. I don't get it.

Like I really don't understand it. Why is the Jew hard? Really? That's the person who was named even after the beep. People could still figure it out. Does he name another one? He named another one. They named a beeped.

But then like two minutes later, they said the first name two more times non-beaped. Keat? What about, um, yes, I think Keith. Oh geez. Like a couple of people. Rachel, what were you talking about? I was gonna make a point that's no longer valid.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding? I was gonna make a point that's no longer valid. I was just gonna joke you had 35 minutes ago because I did what about the scenario the preposterous scenario that you had that you had which comic was it? Yeah, Harrison. Harrison. And you shared a room and they just walked around wildly make it all the time. I don't know why I didn't question Eddie Stabbert. I'm like, of course, Bobby did this. And then I was going to say that and I was good. My wife just approved. I told her was a scientific experiment that I had to be done for the comedy community. I told my son, they'll be back in a week.

The thing is, I believe everything has been sent to a reasonable voice. I do. Yeah. I do. He come out. But I was going to say that you can't test whether somebody's gay by just inserting yourself inside of them and deciding whether they enjoy it. But I realized that you didn't, the premise wasn't based on any truth. But I would like to say that I got, and this has nothing to do with anything anyone saying, but I got locked out of my place today or locked into my apartment today. And all these firemen came over to get me out. And that's why I'm late.

And it was so hot. A bunch of firemen coming. How do you get locked into your apartment? The door knob breaks. The door knob wasn't working. And I was like, and so, and I kept messing with it. It wouldn't open. It wouldn't open.

And so I called my boyfriend and he's a, I love him. I love him. I love him. So he was like, I'll tell the guys to come over and let you in. So like five firemen came in and broke my guard. Your boyfriend is a firegun? Yeah, he's a firegun. Yeah, really?

Yeah. So he sent five firemen over to come like, and first of all, it did feel like a moron though. Even though I was locked in because I couldn't do the dirt just such a stupid scenario. They're damn easily locked in. It's so dumb. Did they know who your boyfriend was? Yeah, yeah, because he told them. He just told them and they were there in like three minutes It was a very hot situation

Yeah, I'm also because that happened wait were they all good looking? Yeah, they were really guys just FYI. I'm sorry Everyone's the one you're gonna hear a soft voice come on like a little bit and he's gonna have a joke forgot you were here It's just what you know, what did you say, Mike? That five people died because of our accident, but that's fine. Oh, that's funny. Well, I know that's his thing. Yeah, that he does. He says a lot of funny stuff, but he just nobody hears it ever. Yeah, the joke whisperer. He's been doing comedy for 30 years.

I know, Mike. We go back. Are you working together in San Antonio? Yeah, but he's not he's he's emcee. He's so cute That poor so handsome. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for him. Go to brothers. Sweet boy. You're looking at I don't know He has happy eyes. Look at him The one thing you have to say about me One thing you gotta say about a good taking a compliment. Yes, you feature me in Judy he looks like he's allergic to seafood and he just had a fucking about a good, a good compliment. Yes, you beat your man, Tania Tania. Yeah, Judy, he looks like he's allergic to seafood and he just had a fucking, a savace.

A savace. Harrison would go for him, definitely. I say, if he walked around in front of Harrison, I'm just telling you right now. You're a bear. Guys, I gotta do another read real quick. No, Mexican bear. Does that mean it's moody out there?

We don't help me through this bear. I mean, through this read. Yeah. Wait, what? All right, listen, I to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this.

I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going to do this. I'm just going Okay. Um, I remember when you were skinny. That's huge. I remember when you were skinny and you had short hair. Yeah. When you did the movie thing. Oh my God, I love that. I love that. I love watching it. It's so funny. 10 years. I did that. Baby, I used to watch you on HBO all the time and I was attracted to you. Really? Yeah. I had

a lot of guys attracted you. You have, you have a, uh, uh, Barbara Streisand. you really yeah, I had a lot of guys attracted you have you have a barber's strison. Oh, yeah, babs Yeah, you got bad lips. They're very beautiful. You get nice lips. I'm fat now No, I think you look great, but you call me fat. I have to call you fat. That's the fat, but you're fat too I'm not that fat. You're not as fat as me, but you're up there. I am this is a Not there. No, you look beautiful. I have a very great. She would never be honest with you. I'm telling you right now. You're your chubby. I am. No, you're not. I'm saying that because you called me fat. No, I would never even say that you're great. All right, you're skinny. Thank you. You look awesome. I'm very excited. You're the best I've ever seen you look. You're so attractive right now. I wish I wish you were

individuals because I would I would do my hardest to court you. Mm-hmm. Shut up. Go. Court. I do believe it. Food court. Yeah.

Food court. I used to love you on HBO. I don't know if you guys remember this. What was it? Show. It was at the multiplex with Judy go at the multiplex. She would get people coming out of the movies, but she was so funny because She was just sometimes attack people like they come up and like I wrote all the questions before it was so good Such a I don't know why 10 years. They don't do that again with somebody else because it would be a great show for movies with someone else One of your sons this is one of our more hurtful episodes and very subtly wow

Everyone's been subtly hurtful Everybody Do you think I need to get like no you don't pay baby listen They were you doing I was I was have faced I'm so sorry. I heard that everyone's doing bow talk young women like women in their 30s are both I know the ones who need it. Yeah. Deep just count.com is a great site.

To get it. Is that it? To get hard to find this. I don't really get you price. I'm trying to give my fans stuff that they can buy for Christmas presents. Oh, fans. I like to be considered part of the show. You are, Joe.

You are one of the regs. Rachel, you're part two. Thanks. What about? Can I be part three? You're part three. And you're part four and five. Listen, put your phone down.

Help me with this, Judy. I was just looking at your nasty text. Go ahead. My text. Yeah. What did I say? It said, you're not in love with me anymore. But I think it's the old one. Okay. deeptiskout.com has the site to get hard to find gifts at a really

great price too. Don't fast forward on this. Listen, what's a hard to find gift? A hard to find gift. A movie that you love that you can't find. Scroll down. What a slaughter. Hi. Oh, yeah. That's a great good time. Whiskey glory. You don't you'd never see that movie. What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that? What about that?

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and save money to find something for everyone on your list. And of course, listen, be good to yourself. Grab a few things for your of my journey through French cinema. It's great movie. I tell you, the preacher was a good movie too. I do like driftwood. I would never get that movie. Preaches TV series. I'll buy it.

But your people watch DVDs anymore? Oh yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Deep, deep, deep. I love DVDs, but you can also get good music on it. But you can't, you have to get like, if you have a Mac now, you have to get a,

you know, an extension thing. Try to sell some product here. Listen, it's gonna deep disc. Oh right, sorry. You'll find your version. Look at that here. Listen, go to deep disc. Oh, right, sorry. You'll find a burger. Look at that. They do. They have a bunch and, uh, oh, hang over square.

I want to see that. I would see that movie though. You what? Yes, I would buy that movie and watch it because I like watches shit. You'd never watch. Yeah. I bought so many movies off of here that a year that this is live streaming right now. Live streaming right now. You'll find new releases too like Kingsman, the golden circle.

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All right. That's deep discount. You got to see in the darkest hour. Love you, babe. You're open. It is a. Look at that. Star Wars is up there count. You got to see in the darkest hour. Love you, babe. You're open. It is a look at that. Star Wars is up there, too. You choose up there.

You get a bunch of stuff. Judy, go there. Use my code. But is it what's your code? You just go to Robert Kelly. A lot. You go right now. Go to Robert Kelly.

Uh, right cast.com slash Robert Kelly. Okay. Uh-huh. That's it. And then I masturbate. No, you don't masturbate. Yeah. Stop saying masturbate.

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Why am I turning into a fucking English guy? All right. Anyways, yeah, there's been a lot of crazy stuff going on. And I was talking to Judy the other day. And you were actually getting mad at all this stuff at this point, which I found interesting. I thought you would go another way, but we were talking about it. You were actually, I would say, the Louis thing you were talking about.

I was talking about the Louis thing, which I have, it wasn't good, what he did, not good. Should everything he's ever done be taken off of, no. Sorry. I thought you were like, yes. What, here's the problem, is that our president is a fucking predator, fucking asshole rapist. And he's still president of the United States.

Louis apologized, admitted it. The thing that was interesting, you said though, is that you, you were like, he put so many women to work. That's what I said. And in power. And I was like, oh, like he did a shitty thing and it was shitty and it was wrong. And yes, he should probably take a break and take a little like, okay, I got a fucking get my shit together. But his, the head of his production company, woman.

Yeah, Blair. Amazing woman. Pam. Amazing. I mean, his assistant. He was one of the guys that was, I always felt like he gave women jobs. Oh, yeah. In this business.

Right. Yeah, Rachel. It's hard to even. He gave you a job. What's that? Did he give you a little bit? Oh, you offered for him. Yeah Rachel. It's hard to even he gave you a job. What's that? Oh, you performed. Yeah. Did he never did anything? No, I mean, he definitely did not. It's just I feel like he's the poster boy. Yeah. And there's so many more. There's other horrible. I mean, I'm sure I'm going to get shit, but you know, we got to start putting things into perspective. It's horrible. I mean, I'm sure I'm going to get shit, but you know, we got to start putting things into perspective. It's horrible. It should stop this shit. It should stop like Al

Franken. He is an advocate for women. He is. I'm not laughing. I'm laughing at him to set you a salt. Oh Mark. Wow She's fucking trying to say it now, but it's market true. I don't like you It's I don't know how shoulders. I have been in this business longer than all of you And I have seen a lot of penises that I didn't want to say that right Yeah, I mean I don't with a lot of this shit. I've seen dicks. I don't want to see Joe every time we face time It has just dick out. I've sexually assaulted Robert many times. Yes, you really have your dick. Literally. I'll have it out.

I'll have it out because that's how I'm coming to conversation. I'll tilt the phone down a little bit, lazily, and then my dick appears and it's funny. He'll send me a photo, but it's in a puzzle way. Like it's just a regular photo and I'll be sending you a closer and his fucking cock is in a mirror in a cop that reflects into the thing. Yeah, it's funny.

I mean, well, first of all, what's... First of all, harassment is evident, and it's horrible. But it's funny to have a sky conversation, and then you stand up at the end of it, and you've been naked the whole time. That's funny.

Of course. If it's with the man who you think is funny, that's gold. I wouldn't do that to a woman. I wouldn't do that to one of you. Rachel, I don't show you my penis, but Bobby, seeing my penis is hilarious. Have you ever asked him? Have you ever, I don't like it and I'm offended by it. All right, I'll stop. You've sent me pictures of your poo. That's more offensive than that. I was sick. I was sick.

I was sick. I was sick. I have herpes and it's me. Why would he be so illicit, Vic? Because it was white. That's heard these. Why do you listen? Because it was white. That's our job. I say, I say, I'll buy no. What? You took a pit. Wow. Advice. All the funny words. I was just saying, how is Joe going to guide you? One was a for advice. One, I should have perfect capital Q. All right. I have to say something.

The odds of that are nuts. There are some shits that I've wanted to document. Yeah. Some of you should anytime. I mean, I've had like over a foot long with, and I've gotta show them my, it looks like my intestine, it comes out. Oh God.

And I'm so proud of that. Why the hell could you, how could you avoid in this, we're having a fucking 12 megapixel in your pocket in your hand. Why should and you take a 12 foot coil. Right. And you not take a photo. You're a better man than me or a better woman than me. I don't have it in me. Person. I don't care if if fucking Jesus was in the room with me. I'd be like JC one second and I'd be like dude, check that out. Thank you. Bobby, you really not like seeing my dick as a joke? I like it.

Thank you, Mark. You show him too? I think it's a funny, I think it's funny. It's pretty funny. Here's what I don't, here's what I don't like. I mean, it would be bad if you were skyping your therapist. Here's what I don't like. Here's what I don't like is when you put it in a dick puzzle.

I don't like the dick puzzles. It's shit like a funnier. I would wrap it. Is that you show other people that you don't realize and then someone else has when you put it in a dick puzzle. I don't like the dick puzzles. It's that's the funnier. I would rather show other people that you don't realize and then someone else has to go. That's his dick. So what's the use of that? And you never let Rachel finish her her thought. Oh, but I also think I think you just have. I think it was you.

Your mixed feelings. What's that feelings about Louis? I mean, personally, obviously, he didn't do any of those things to me, you know, so that was my personal experience with I think a lot of women are just scared to say what they really think because of the backlash from other women. You know what? I have to say that Harvey Weinstein deserves to be in jail. Sure. I mean, he's a fucking asshole. Yes, but he's out having brunch. Right. Kevin Spacey.

I knew, I I mean I knew about about Kevin. Oh yeah, everyone knew he was a fucking predator boy. You know, um, I just thought he was gay. I know I have a couple friends of mine that had things with him. And I was like, oh, all right, that's not it's right. It was just, you know, all right, he's just like dudes, whatever. It's like John Travolta has all these massage power things. It's it's it's not creepy. I mean, it's just him getting Jervolta has all these massage powder things. It's, it's not creepy. I mean, it's just him getting a massage and he's trying to see if the guys into look, if, like, I love that Charlie Rose. Okay.

Is being replaced by Christiana and Amampore. No, no, who's that? You don't know Christiana. I'm. Yeah. She's a, she's like, she's a British journalist, British journalist. Yeah. Oh my god. She's fucking she's unbelievable It actually she'd be she it's pretty cool that she's doing that. He was never a good interview I always hate it. I thought he was kind of a drip. Yeah

Also, and I think he wanted to care. He pretended to care there. He had a he had just a general amazing And that she is amazing. She's so smart. She is fascinating. She's so smart. She is fascinating. She's really interesting. Yeah. But I always felt like I'm like, why does he, you like, all right, sorry, but he's walking around with his dick.

I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like,

I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like. I get what they're doing. Joe, Joe, I get that. I'm just saying, like, why do people, like, you take out your dick and you start masturbating in front of someone who obviously doesn't want to be there? What? How? I'll tell you what it is. If you really want to know, it's a power thing. What? I think it's because Dicks are so weird and so gross. And women never want to see them that if you pull it out and they have to accept it, it feels good. It's ridiculous. I think the Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, as soon as he said that, you were like, what?

It was just so confusing. Is that, Rachel? I have a theory. Rachel, I'm putting my mind in their mind. Rachel, as one of the only three people in this room that like penis or like had penis is okay with penis, is that true to girls hate? They're like, it's God. You've had it like this like I don't hate dick.

No, but I don't, I'm not like wanting to watch a guy masturbate. Like a comic recently told me that like that if a girl doesn't want to hook up and they're hooking up, not like something inappropriate, but that he, you know, they're, they make out, but she doesn't want to go further that he likes to lay there and jerk off hoping that she gets jealous. That's what I'm saying. We want you to like it. But my point is that he thinks that the girls could have like suddenly get jealous of his hand on his dog. And and and and this isn't a comic doing something out of line or it worked like they're hooking

up. But then you start, you know, but I just think think that such a ludicrous idea. I don't think, you know, dick, I'm not like, I don't get upset when I see a dick. I enjoy this. I don't want to get pleased. You know what I mean? You need to be disckeied. I have no interest whatsoever. But I don't, but I don't like have that. I think some girls may get turned on by the person they're involved with of, you know,

doing that, but I don't personally want to sit there and watch my boy. We literally have. We have three different generations. I don't like his dick. I enjoy. Oh, yeah. But there's nothing. How about working off?

We have three different generations, though, of like women comedians. You, you, and now your generation is, is it not? I mean, you can't fuck around at all. Are you guys still being inappropriate with each other as comics or like? Are you sitting at the table, Rachel? I mean, we're inappropriate with everybody. Doesn't matter. There's no gender at the table. There's no gender when we're all hanging out. We kind of smash each other and all kinds of unspeakable things are said unspeakable. Yes. And some of the women say the most unspeakable. Shades.

Absolutely. And I'll say funny. It's all in the name of funny. But the show generation, can you do that anymore? Is that I think people still fuck with each other, but it's definitely more careful. People are a little more. So that's a bar.

Yeah, that part does that bothers me. That level that level with words. When it gets to the word stuff where you can't ironically say something to somebody you love without a taken out of I can't take it anymore. I can't do that because that's how people dealt with pain also throughout time Horrible things happen to people and you make jokes about it and you say all kinds of shit like you know like When I remember like when my you know people in my, that's how they dealt with like, or you know, my people dealt with the Holocaust that way. People horrible unspeakable things happen. It's a coping mechanism and the coping mechanism.

And it's like crazy shit was said to all of us our whole lives. So if we say it to each other and we don't give a shit and it's this big circle, everybody fucks with each other and uses the ridiculous things that were said. But I also like that Al Franken picture. How many times? How many times? Oh, that's crazy. Come on. Someone like fake touch my tip.

Like who cares? Yes. He was mugging for the camera. Right. And you look at all the other video of her. She's a right way. I don't I fucking do not believe her. I get sister.

I think you're right. But I, but I don't know a screaming match with my therapist today. Really? Screaming Matt. Is it a female therapist? No. Because I just, he was saying that it's, it's the way the, the, the tide of where we're at right now. And Louis, or these people are getting caught in this tide. And that's just the way it has to be. know, and Louis or these people are getting caught in this tide. And that's just the way it has to be. And I don't think so. I think people can say, you know, hey, that's not right. Now, I think you can't have working conditions where women, and there's a lot of, I think

the culture has to change. Like a lot of women have not have not, you know, have left their jobs because they're so fucking uncomfortable. That holds that. Absolutely. But that's not absolutely, but you can't just fucking take every single encounter and lump it under fucking Harvey Weinstein. That's correct. Outcomes.

Right. The punishment can't be one punishment for all this shit. You should be fucking out. Absolutely. You should be fucking out. But also too, it should happen, but these people should have your day in court where look at this is what happened, bum, bum, bum, and these women should do what they need to do to these guys. Why?

Why do we? To take them out. Okay. Also, why do they focus on what the woman did? How she reacted instead of the initial behavior? That's what I, that's what pisses me off. You, no one wins by telling the story, you know, like the Roy Moore accusers.

I'm guarantee you that he's a fucking pedophile piece of shit. Who? The Roy Moore accusers. Okay. I didn't hear you say that. Sorry. I mean, why is it that you discredit, you want to know why? I'll send you and looking at me. Look around the room.

Why don't people just come across as they fucking? The problem is they discredit the women, even the Justin Hoffman thing with John Oliver last night. What happened? I didn't see that. What happened? Do you guys read the fucking newspaper? How are you around?

Okay. So John Oliver did a panel for, John pointed. No, John Oliver. That's hilarious. Let's watch the night cowboy. That's just many years of wag the dog. And he approached Justin off

and about his sexual harassment. And he got pissed off and he's like, well, that's not the way it happened. That's, you know, it happened. It happened. Multiple people said it happened. Why can't you just admit it and say, well, I was a fucking asshole.

John Oliver was great. Well, okay, let me ask you a question though. Is anybody in this, have you ever been over the line? Have you ever done inappropriate shit? As a woman. Have you to a man or another woman or another woman? Yeah. Have you ever done anything where you're like, oh shit, that was fuck, have you ever a woman or another woman? Yeah. Have you ever done anything where you like,

oh shit, that was fuck, have you ever said anything? Oh, I'm sure. Have you ever said anything that would be like, oh shit, I shouldn't have said that. Yeah, I've said insane, unspeakable things. Oh my God. I'm saying everybody I love and I would say them again

because they know where it's coming from. It's ridiculous. Oh, please, of course. Tuesday the story is every Tuesday. People, I can emails from people all the time with these like, you know, these long emails about you said this. So they take some or and there's even jokes that I made years ago that I wouldn't make now because you're just like, oh, that was cool. I got people writing to me about Colin touching my breast all the time on.

I he did it on tough crowd and what do you say? What do I say to that? I let him. I let him. I allowed him to do that. It's not your fucking business. When I do that now, I probably would love to take him out. They would love to make that big and take him out. Absolutely. If that got steam, you could get something on anybody if you really wanted to.

Right. But it's also, I feel like you're mixing it all together. It's like, because you have to, there's a line that has to be drawn. I think as comics, we don't have boundaries and we have to, you know. I just think that, I think that,

and unwanted, you know, groping and yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, touching, touching know, groping and yeah. That's it, done. You should know that. Touching somebody, yeah. Great, but asking, hey, can I do your girlfriend of you? No, okay, I'll see you later. Right.

That's a different fucking thing in my brain. I agree. And I'll stand by that and you can attack me, you can fucking hate me, I don't give a fuck. In my eyes, that's a different fucking thing and you don't deserve to have it all taken away. Okay, I agree I agree, but I also feel bad every S is and the housekeepers and the you know what yeah

She's pointing out that Stop yelling what she saying is that thank you Rachel as her emotional You let your lawyer talk to you please go ahead Rachel. And Sir E. Rep Judith really feels no but that these kinds of situations you know the grow being and all kinds of shit that happens to women they don't just happen in the celebrity circuit so right now they're all these celebrities they're coming out and these and then it's finally coming different things are like and then so that maybe people can clean up their act and cut this cut the shit. Yes it's great. What Judy's saying is that and then there's these other classes of

people that these things are still happening to who don't have the same like voice and spotlight and like that. They're people. And they have a good job. They need their job. You know, before you guys fucking throw shit. I'm. Somebody says the thing at a reasonable voice. I'll believe anything. I admit it. It's funny though, because if you even, I joke like that and you literally, what the fuck? It, that's in real life, that happens and they don't get to joke. Right, but I just stock myself.

No, you because you're funny. You're funny. It's a weird connection though, because it's like, yeah, there's, there's like sexual harassment and misogyny clearly is like an epidemic and has been for 50 years. I told the story. Maybe one second.

One second. Can you give me a couple of coffee with a hundred of the sugar cream right? It's right over there. Just make it. Go ahead. What were you saying? Babe, like two sugars. What are you saying?

My wife, she'll tell me, I think I already said this on the show before, but like she'll tell a story where she doesn't even realize she's telling a story about sexual harassment because it happens so often. My wife, she'll just be telling a story. She's like, oh yeah, this is that. I forgot about this thing that happened nine years ago. This guy did that. And I'm like, that's fucking horrible.

So women are having an happen so often. I don't even understand. I don't even like. And then after I feel like that's unacceptable. Yeah, they don't even realize. But can I just give my point? Yeah, please, man. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. So it's obviously in the epidemic and it has to change and it's like a problem. But how is that connected to like, Louis has been a race from FX. There's no history of being on FX. How is that related to women, a dental hygienist being harassed by a dentist?

Those aren't connected to me, where it's like, he's no longer on HBO. He just lost $50 million. Do you like that's unfair? Well, because women What almost when we get rain because in this culture, all we give a shit about our famous people That's it. That's why Trump that's the fucking president of the United States. I want to see the movie hashtag. I want to see his movie hashtag. I want to see I don't understand He's a fucking he he came out.

What are you? Alan? Okay. Let me just say something about what are you? Alan and I have worked with Woody Allen. Oh, really? Because I don't have I don't have the, you know, I can't say no. I'm not I'm not going to be doing that. Sorry. I don't believe it. No, I can't do that. I have to work because I have to work. And it's what he out. and it's what he out. But you know, when I think about him and Suni, that's like my girlfriend, Alisa marrying Henry, my son taught Bobby in a pro-rid.

He's how old is he? 16. It's okay. He raised her. He was her stepfather. It's disgusting. I mean that how what how what Mix games like we I mean look we all discussed the pubes of the cutoff You said you raise a child of their step I'm fucking why are you treating me like I'm a news switch personas too quick I guess I'm fucking kidding. I mean, it's a lot of questions. People are adamantly asking for a conversation that he had a right to do that because it wasn't

technical. People actually make this argument, you know, like, people try to say that because he hadn't, you know, he didn't. He wasn't blood related. And it was okay. He could groom turret. Okay, but let me ask you a question. Okay, so if he called you today Rachel, if Woody Allen called you today,

I saw you, I saw your stand up. I really like it. And I'd like you to be in my next movie. It's a great cupoti. Thank you. That was. I want you not to wait. Stop.

I want you to be the star in my next movie. It's gonna be a great movie. And it's about this comic, a female blah, blah, blah. Would you do it? Or would you say immediately fuck you? I like to think I would not do that. But you would. But you gotta ask you to have it.

Yeah, because you can't, you can't. Rachel has money. I can't just declare something I had to take. Rachel has some money, not a lot. But it's a Woody Allen film. I like that I appear to have money. I definitely have to. Yeah, but you have a career.

You're gonna have a boyfriend have the fire department or kids you couldn't even call a locksmith and keep her dignity. That was for her own pleasure. What about the guy, what about the girlfriend department, because you couldn't even call a locksmith and keep her dignity. That was for her own pleasure. What about the guy? What about the broken guy, the guy from the tick that did the Woody Allen movie and then comes out in tweets, I regret it. I shouldn't have done it. That guy, fuck that guy. Can we all agree on that? Get out of here. The guy went, did the movie, said, yeah, shot the whole movie, got all the money,

gets the movie, gets the credit, and then tweets Looking back to three months ago, I really regret it. It's like, what's that people just love to yap though, they've got a lot to me and I. But you're on that guy. Gabby Gabby at dressed as a mechanic dress dress has a mechanic. Grease monkey. How do you feel? How would you do the movie if Woody Allen came to you right now? It's that I want you to be in this movie.

That's hard because I have shouldn't be. You then yes would you do the movie if Woody Allen came to you right now? It said I want you to be in this movie. That's hard because I have shouldn't be you then yes you do it. I think I think I would do it. You'd be in a plan ski tomorrow. There you go. But it's not because I agree with what he's done, but it's because I have no career. I look at I have no. I'm not. What are you saying? No, It's like, okay, we have to do things because, wait a minute, you have to do things that you don't want to do because you have no career and you need the work, right? But isn't, won't that person stop working? The bad person stop working?

If you say no, if everybody just says we're not working with you. But no one's gonna say no. He's not such a, he's like, yeah. It's like a comic thing where we don't have a union. So if the clubs go we're paying you less fuck you and we say, well, we're not working your clubs. Then we all have to go. The middle is a step up and just say, we'll do it. It'll be a shittier show, but whatever.

So it's the same thing. Right. And it's also hard when you're a fan of that person, but you're not a fan, you're a fan of their work, but you're not a fan of the person. Okay. And then I'm going to say something that's really bad. Yeah. And not politically. Let's do it. Let's hang on. Get me music. I got to. Okay. Do do do do. When and then I'm going to get on everyone can scream at me hang on we're getting you music Wow, who's that Henry Henry Phillips We're gonna the paper. Yeah turn that off. We have to pay for it. They'll flag me. I got it. It's the mirror tail more thing. I got it.

When women walk around, okay. But they're asses and tits hanging out. Hi. We owe what when Bobby does it. And then get upset. Now, they don't deserve to be grouped or anything like that. But then you get upset that someone is propositioning you. That pisses me off. Oh, interesting.

The cat calling. Well done, Mike. Am I wrong? I don't know. Well, proposition. I mean, there's a lot of words. I wouldn't. I mean, I, I don't feel like that.

No, I, I think personally, I think that it's one thing to say, like, you a good mommy or something like that. It's another thing to like start saying very specific sexual things they wanna do to you. I don't think that that's cool. You know, like, no, I'm talking about women, I'm talking about, you know, you dress provocatively

revealing. And then you get upset when a guy approaches you. And I'm just, I don't believe that. There's also differences of approaching. Right. Exactly. If a guy comes up and everybody has their own comfort level, but if a guy comes up and asks you out or something or say something, that's fine.

That doesn't make me go unsafe person. Personally, everybody has their own things. But if somebody, you know, I've also had such disgusting graphic things, yeah, it's just like, I'm walking to the train. I'm a bit. Yeah. It's all right, Mark. Right.

It is. And if Mark is, but it makes you scared. Does it not make you scared? I mean, I'm. No, that feels, yeah, I mean, when I get off the train at night and I run all the way to my apartment, all the way upstairs in this wild frantic way and shut my door. And if anybody watch me, they'd be like, what's wrong with their brand? And I don't sit around all day talking about this stuff, but it's a thought in your mind, right? All the time, because you know, people that have been assaulted and every,

yeah, I walked out every apartment I've ever lived in. I walk up in this wild frant. And I think about it throughout the day, It's just like you just want that Period, it's part of your life and you're alone and I've been To you gonna take it could be a have a broken legacy. Yeah, see what he wants just put it on speaker phone Henry we're on a podcast. What's up? Oh, nothing he least I call me this one. Oh God. All right. All right. What about? Oh Oh God, all right. All right. What about? All right. I don't know. That's why I thought you'd ask you. Oh, God hang up. All right. We're on a shot. Oh, that was me. That was it. All right. I'm on a podcast. No one you know Robert Kelly. Rachel Feinstein. He did. I know Joe. All. I know Joe Lest. All right, it wasn't Norman.

Does anyone know who was? He said with whom? How is that a dig? Great. Is Rachel still with the firefighter? Yes. Oh, that's inappropriate. Yes.

I remember it. You have a little time when she gets out of the cab until she gets to her house. What? What? What? What? What? I said, they're only going on like two dates

when she told us about it. Yeah, that's right. Isn't he my baby? Are you trying to take down my whole podcast? It's my baby, Henry. All right, I'll call you back. I love you. Bye.

First of all, I want to just go back to this. Oh, this high school shit you guys all pulled. No, we didn't say, oh, we weren't zinging you, you sense. What was he saying? No, it was just funny that he was like with who? Like he's like, oh, who? Anyone good? Excited?

That's funny. We're not saying fuck you. All right, I'm going back to Rachel. I feel bad that she has to fucking live her life like that. Why? Why are you talking about? She doesn't. She has to feel unsafe.

She doesn't have to feel safe. She can learn kung fu or keto. And it's not bad. And I'm so lucky that I'm gigantic. Cause I could put on my hood and people think I've got like also I wear a hood. Also stuff happens to us like like Bobby. Judy, I'm so sorry. I had to go for the joke there. Okay. I'm looking at what happens.

Sometimes with the podcast where you have a good joke. So you make it and then you feel back as you're hurt feelings. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said So you can't have women to use this all right Is that did you jerk off in that? I mean also the thing is like that when you know like when we're on the road Sometimes a club a club will say this is happening many times. We're we put our comics up here Yeah, thanks a lot, you know, and then I've had a guy is tell the club. What does that mean? Where they put the whole way they put the comic. Oh, that's the one. I had a guy show up outside my door. You know, wouldn't leave. I called downstairs. I ended up leaving. I just went to go stay with another comic because

he was just showing up. Yeah, you can't tell. Yeah. Vegas. They it's crazy. There's all these dangerous things that you don't always realize, especially on the road as a comic. Like when I was in Vegas, this guy came up to my room to like change my lock because the key wasn't working. So were you in your locks? Well, I, that is true of the shame.

But no, the magnetic thing wasn't working. I am a Jew, that's right. Locks. But, but anyway, so he came up to fix the magnetic thing on my door. And then later at night, this is the guy that worked at the casino later at night in the middle of the night, he walked into my room at like, oh, wow. Yeah. In the middle of the night. What? Now, and now, now my boyfriend at the time was in

the room and jumped up. He didn't know that the guy was with me though. Because when I got there, I was alone. What was he doing? What was he doing? He's got a radio. Right. That guy's a piece of shit. I got to go to jail. Yeah. I told everybody that you know, yeah. That guy's a piece of shit. That guy should go to jail. Yeah, I told everybody. 10 days. Yeah, so there's just these things that you have to think about all the time. Right.

Not to mention the stalkers, the crazy people. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy was sending all this stuff to me. Like he got my address. Somehow, remember, he was sending all that crazy insane stuff to me and I had to get, like call the cops a couple times. You've got a few.

Yeah, there's been some, it's like, you know what though? I mean, the way you times. Yeah, there's been some. What? It's like, you know what though? I mean, the way you dress. Yeah, you do. Right, you're like a district attorney. That's not, no, I'm just, I'm whatever. We're a scarf like Judy. I'm a dude, but I walk home.

I'm nervous. I'm looking over both shoulders. So I don't, a woman, I can't even imagine. I'm looking over both shoulders. I don't but woman I can't even imagine I'm scared to get the same torso as your wife Robert that's hurtful to both of us I don't know why but it is I get shit from gay guys you wouldn't believe it's like crazy dick pics gay guys love me I don't know what it is. Well, you're very cute You're cute, but it's only. And you keep going to gay sites.

Yeah. Maybe, maybe that's it. Gay guys just send you dick pics out of the blue. Tweeted at me, like the DMs, all that shit. It's all like pretty. But you're a good looking guy. I mean, you're a young guy. I used to get a lot of gay stuff too, man.

I never get any gay. Tons of gay. Let me get gay dick. What do you? I'll for you the gays, promise. I love a dick. I don't mind looking at a dick. I don't either.

But I'm thinking if I was a woman, this would be a lot. I'd be like, holy shit. This is a- I can't say something. I got my wife say something. Go ahead. When my wife, when we met back in the day, sexy Bobby, I remember we, I say this, I got my wife being sexually inappropriate.

Yeah. I pulled my, we were on it, we were making out. I don't know. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, We were on it. We were making out on a rock and I took my dig out great content. And she was like, what what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just like, what? And then she got great conversation. She grabbed my dick and then we fooled around and that's my wife. I have. But that's my wife. Yeah. I took my previous girlfriend. My mother, my mother, who's a fucking bleeding heart liberal. I mean, I like her. I mean, would literally suck JFK's cock right now.

Day rags. That's a good blow job. Doesn't care that Bill Clinton didn't. He didn't do any. Who cares? Doesn't just totally look who never happened. He did nothing to women. He's great to women. Bleeding up this whole Louis thing. She's like, I don't get it. these great women. Bleeding out this whole Louis thing, she's like, I don't get it. She's like, she wanted to start a petition because she does a shop. She has hair to salon in her house, all women of all ages coming out through all, all, not one of them. And all the women I've talked to, hey, here you go. Okay. Make it a scarf. No, everything was like, they don't get it. Um, make it a scarf. No, um, everything was like, I, they don't get it.

That, that whole thing, they just didn't get it. Yeah. I mean, everything else they understood, but that they were like, what are they doing? What's going on? It's all celebrity. If this was a plumber, this would be, they wouldn't take all this shit away from them. It's because he's the top. He's the biggest comic. I just think that we're evolving as people and things when you this things that I understand that all this stuff is happening It's all good the Harvey Weinstein's the casting culture all the bullshit that's going away with minorities

Okay, everything's everything's changing for the better in Hollywood. That's great I think it's great But I I just feel like taking people down for being human, making mistakes, being creepy, and treating them like they're fucking criminals is, is we all need, I fucked up so much in my life. I've done so many bad things and I've done shitty things to women, but I've learned to be a better person by having a relationship, by making these failures, saying, sorry, I'll be like, I don't want to do that again.

And having a wife and then having a kid and having women friends and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I learned how to be a better person. Yeah. In my 40s, but I'm a better person. My son is going to be taught a hundred million times better than I was taught. We as boys who became men were not taught anything. We, we, we shown porn and mags. No one came to us and taught us about sex and how to treat a woman.

All we open a door and say, thank you. A blah, blah, blah. We would touch shitty things. All our movies, porkeys, sticky dick in a hole, watch women shower. Totally acceptable. Deepdiscount.com 899, porkeys, deluxe edition. Well, that's not true. We already read that that read, but that's read. Oh, here we go. Read. But I'm just saying, do you understand? Yeah, I hope there's a place where people can talk about things and and get people that

well, it's right. Can like I can like learn and have these. And say this is inappropriate. And this is something unhealthy or inappropriate or unacceptable. I'm going to behave this way instead. But it's got to be case by case, you know. We're just lumping everything together. Well, that's what my therapist would go to a big fight.

He said it's the tide. And it just takes people out with them. And it's like, I don't agree with that. Yeah, I think that all the stories need to come out. And everybody needs to change the culture and make it suddenly unacceptable. So we don't have to deal with the insane things that, you know, I had to deal with, and then people

before me way, way, way worse, you know, but I do think you can't. Yeah. I was going to say, fry them all in the same pan. Is that like that? I like that. That works. Bobby, you just look so disgusting. I almost call Keith. I almost I was going to like never do the show again. That would be the last. I feel sick and I need

a nap and I apologize. I was going to rip all the plugs out and now would be the last thing. Everybody. Fry them all on the same pan. That was so on. I just got it. Discussed me as it was probably out of my mouth. I just made me so disgusted that listen. No, anyways, you guys need a great talent. No more black. But I do think that the more people talk about it, the better because it's gotta change. Yeah, yeah, I hear you.

All right, we just have to change. All right, listen, shut up what you changed. Let me just get this real. Well, you know what? Changes, changes. Turn and face the change. Changes. Look out, you rock and roll is time won't change me

Chase Chase time chase next time time may change me Chase man, I gave it a shot. Okay, David Bowie CDs. I remember when that song came out I remember when that song came out. I remember when that song came out. How old was it? Well, you're a foot. I love that album. That was a lesbian.

I was a lesbian. Did you have a lesbian ice cube out of the trash? Yes, I did. I still try to get that joke in. Hey, what if I wanted to hire someone? Wow. If I was looking to hire somebody to be like in turn, I'm like, podcast funny.

You asked that. I need a job. So bad. Okay, you could find one. If need a talent great talent for your business But short on time you don't have to get lost in a huge stack of resumes Judy Rachel to find your perfect higher you just need the right Tools smarter tools Joe. I was putting you at the end. You got good tools Mike and Gabby What if hiring could what if hiring could be easier? What if it could be way more streamlined, less consuming people.

So even when you're busy, you can still be smart about the way you hire. If you're hiring, you know the quality hires keep your business moving forward, but you also know it can take a lot of time to find the right candidate for the job. Are you hiring Joe? I'm not, we're looking to hire.

So you know what you know what you need to made? Do you know what to post your jobs to find the best candidates? I would go to I'm not we're looking to hire. So you know, you know, you know what? Do you know what a post your jobs to find the best candidates? I would go to zip recruiter.com personally, is that a good place? I'm telling you right now, it is really hard. I've tried to hire people for the show for the network, but zip recruiter right now. Can I say something about zipper? So my lesbian lover, Alisa, you say lover, we get it. lover. Um, she runs her family's real estate business. Yeah. And she needed an assistant

because the last one was a fucking mental case. Yeah. And she went to Zippercrooter and found the best. I mean, they're great. Well, Zippercrooter, you can also post your jobs to over 100 of the web leading website job boards, uh, with just one click. So one click over 100 of the web's leading job boards. So you can rest easy knowing your job is being seen by the right candidate. Then Zip Recruiter puts it in a smart matching technology. They have this technology they have that they built up on their computer system. It's software. Smart matching technology goes to work actively

notifying qualified candidates about the job within minutes of posting. So you can receive the best possible matches. That's why Zippercouter is different. Unlike other hiring sites, Zippercouter doesn't depend on the right candidate, finding you Judy or Joe or Rachel or Mo. It finds them. You can even get a head start on the interview process by adding screening questions to your jobs and to help you identify the most qualified candidates. So you don't have to waste time sorting through a stack of resumes. Check it out. No, one to 80% of the employees that post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate through the site in just one day. Uno day for you, Michael S.

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Take a sip of water, come on, Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary. Okay, okay. I can tell you to do that. Find out today why Zip Recruiter has been used by growing businesses of all sizes and industries to find the most qualified job candidates with immediate results. And right now, Bobby's listeners can post jobs on Zip Recruiter for free.

Do it! I'm giving away gifts. My, all my sponsors are rocking. And Zip Recruiter is rocking for all my fans free. Go. Zip Recruiter.com slash what do? Zip Recruiter.com slash what do zip recruiter.com slash what do what do free. I'd so check it out Judy.

No. What? Now I tell what you know you got no, I don't want to Rachel Rachel Jewish. Yes. Judy definitely Jewish. Oh, yes. Mark Jewish. No, I want to Yes. Mark Jewish.

No. I want to show you. She's a big fan. I would. You know what? Did you do your DNA? He wants to be Jewish. You should love your DNA.

You think so? Yes. I just had a lunch with someone who is from Stockholm. Well, she's Israeli, but she moved to Stockholm. She said in the room. You should do your DNA. Her husband, that's what happened. He said, you have a witty love Jew and you. I was just a Jesus whisper. I'll take a Jew whisper. Why are you saying he wants to be loves to wants to be a Jew? Why? Because he tells me that frequently and I feel like he respects me more because I'm Jewish.

Definitely. I feel like I get from Mark. I feel like, you know, some people assume things that I'm, you know, they, they're an anti-Semitic person. You feel like they assume all these things about you and they know you're a Jew. With Mark, I feel like I get credit for qualities I might not even possess. Yes. Because he's so fond of Jews. Big fan. The showing sarcastic in Jewish, he assumes I'm intelligent, even if I'm not saying something

specifically intelligent. That's not go crazy. That must be not, I mean, let your mouth. There must be nuts to be a woman and Jewish to have, you can actually have somebody hate you because you're a Jew and be kind of a little. Hello, I was getting to the fucking trifactor. I wanted to go to the double,

you can't say cake. You can't say cake. Why the other one? He might be a would say cake. I can't say cake. I mean, some people are even, did you call you a cake? Yeah. say I'm the other one. He might be a would say I can't say I'm some people are even Did you call you a die kite? Yeah, when I'm bored

right that right that down for the name of the podcast when I'm bored sometimes I Google Jews control the media just to see the things people say. That's funny. Yeah, I

bait them. Yeah, I just Google the words like Jews control the media or it's fascinating to read the articles about what people think Jews are collectively up to. Yeah, people aren't just don't just dislike us. They're actually scared of us and are collectivist people think Jews are collectively up to. Yeah. People aren't just, don't just dislike us.

They're actually scared of us and are collectiv- Yeah, like you're aliens. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a video of like a bunch of guys in suits with briefcases and in the woods. And they just run into the woods. We all meet and it's just terrible.

That's so funny. And I did some gig once and this kind of drive was driving back to the airport and he asked me where I was from and I was like New York City and he goes I went there once it was crawling with Jews and then he said and they were all out celebrating their holiday Rocha Shown and he said Rocha Shown, like it was the most terrifying campfire story that it ever And they had one hook and they all wore diamonds around the neck And they had one hook and they all wore diamonds around the neck

From one street on in Manhattan Really do think that like a guy told me once in all sincerity like he believed this you're a Jew There's a part of it put that mic down take those out get out Wow, no, I'm kidding. They make you wear the jumpsuit then yes Now I'm kidding. Now today make you wear the jump suit then. Yes. Is that a hand me down from your grandma? Oh shit, that was terrible. I'm sorry.

Oh, I just got great grandma. I'm sorry. I ruined the joke. Hey, get off your phone. Would you get off your phone? She's running showbiz. What do you want her to do? She's, yeah, that's true.

Would you just find me? I'm so successful. You miss my good haul Holocaust joke I made. But orthodox is crazy. You got to admit that's insane. Like you know, not or no, no, it's bananas.

Yeah, that's not that's not. Models. No, that's not. People always assume that I speak for all of them. So they go to the other. They're not Jewish. They're not Jewish.

They're not Jewish people. They're not Jewish either. Yeah, that's true. You're not Jews in their eyes, especially not me because my mom converted. So I'm a lesbian. They don't have eyes. Have I mentioned I'm a lesbian?

They have horns. So you're Jewish. I'm Jewish, yeah. Wow. I mean, do you go to sad? I was Bob Mitzvah baby. Yeah. Wow.

I don't do anything now. You look like the typical Christmas baby. I know, I look very angry. Oh my God, you're like, if I was going to do a Christmas Carol story, like with a little girl was just, you know, I need, I'm. Oh my god. You're like if I was gonna do a Christmas Carol story like a little girl was just you know, I need my family. Yeah, keep talking over both parents duty. Shots my dad say that's it.

Judy. Judy. Judy. Shut the fuck up Judy. Judy. Shut not enough to marry one. Judy just fucking talks. You just yap all of everybody. Remember the time we're doing the podcast and don my rare sat there for 20 minutes

But Judy just yapped and then he just he turns to you and he goes tooty shut the fuck I fucking love I was he passed away. I can't believe it. Yeah, it's weird Yeah, well, I mean, it's not the booze. I don't think it was the Boots older who's older, but he was not old. I feel like no one's talking about it Nobody did talk about it. The Louis thing eclipsed it. Yeah, so weird Yeah, no, we didn't know we didn't yeah, what are you kidding? Are you kidding from page? You didn't know it Pull it up who? Yeah, what's that? You didn't know that what? Yeah

Pull it up who yeah, what's that? Tom you know that what? Yeah, stop stop stop guys. I stop We're kidding. He's not dead. You want me to call him? I'll call him. Don't call. He's not that. What have he dies today? What have he just done? I got I need you. What's amazing is that was going up like a minute and a half. You even heard her first folks. Oh my god, holy he's not Ronnie K a prop comment I cock clock Tim a couple times it We went out and there was this woman and he's like and she was like oh my god You're so interesting and we're talking he's like then she laughed and he's like fuck You wonder cock block me. I was like oh my god. Mm-hmm so much hotter than you Wait, so you took her out?

No, we she was he that was just like talking to me the whole time and not talking to him and got really pissed You know the fuck around with a guy comic over all the years. Oh, you know, who I Oh boy, Ralph, you may Moms, baby amazing Jonathan, Jonathan cats I love the amazing. Johnny Dangerfield. Danny K. Shut up. Japplin. These are old jokes.

That was pretty good. So funny. Shoot it feels the court jester. I'll say now. How far? Yeah. Yeah.

Shablin. Shablin. You're not so fucking young. How old are you? I'm only 47. How old are you? I just said I'm 55. Oh my god.

Shot. Oh, I think I can get some senior citizen stuff. Legitimately. No, you get some discount. Joe, shut the fuck up. I'm not joking. I think you can get some discount. stuff legitimately no you get some discount Joking you can get some discount cheap movie Tugging and a arp. Yeah What is that? No arp. What is it? It's the American Association of retired? No, but you get you

Like when you go to Dunkin Donuts if you order a large coffee. Oh my god. I'm free donut every fucking day Bobby never turns 50 or just look at the cartoons if you even put like Cartoon I'll be attacked by these two Jews Listen I just want to talk about that. Can I talk about that real quick? It's already fear Jesus Christ it's literally it's every tour post the R.A. ever did oh my god Wow, that's his headshot

Wow Ask me if you can smell a coin from over 70 That's science. But they. Look at the piggy bank. Look at the giant snout just searching for coins. So awful. You know what? All these people who get. Yeah. All the people who hate you, Jews should have to live without whatever Jews have contributed to the fuck. Why the fuck do I have to hit God? Oh, it makes me so happy. It's God saying shut the fuck up. Yeah. Judy, I love you so much.

You know that. You made that. You made my juice. I tell you this, go to the, I dealt with this this weekend. I know we all deal with this. I went to, we put up the podcast this week. It was from a ruby. Wasn't the regular one here.

And we put it up and I, you know, look, the comments on the fucking podcast, I look, I don't give a fuck. And I talked to Zach about it. I was like, I never read the comments. I never go to Reddit. I don't go to any of the shit. I don't read it, because I know it's just terrible, right? Too fat.

Come on. That's hilarious. What is it? It's girl so fucking annoying. By the way, what happened to no sugar, no grain? Yeah. I mean, these up, but wait a minute. He actually, Zach, I was exactly, I was exactly.

These are really some of them. I was like, do we, should we have these? Are these good? I mean, these are doing no good to anybody. This is normal though. Oh my God, I've never dramatized, but there's some guy named Mr. Twatt Waffles and he's so, I love him. Oh boy.

He controls me everywhere. You so, I'm angry about me too. He's so angry. I'm like, Mr. Twatt Waffles, why? Just get him a plug. But I know I did, but there's, I didn't want to bother you though. I know, hey, no put down. I don't want to bother you though. I know hate, no put down. Please shed some pounds, Mr. Kelly.

We don't want to, we don't want to miss you like Patrice. Well, you know Patrice. Yeah, are you really enjoying back in the day stuff? Need to introduce Ray to Ralph's, I don't know what the fuck that. But he, you actually array some of them, which I didn't, I told's, I don't know what to fuck that. But you actually, a Ray some of them, which I didn't, I told them, I didn't want you to do. You did, you shouldn't have. I mean, dude, it's bad.

I mean, they were, they're fucking, they did just a couple of people write things and then other people were like trying to one up them. I know it's so terrible. The worst level of human being, like, what is it that these people have a platform. People who don't deserve a platform and are jealous because they sit, they have no fucking life.

I know, but we'll now have a platform. But it's not the platform we've been there for a long time. We can't say it's new. It's been there for 20 something years. All right, I got to leave soon, go. You can leave whenever you want. I thought how much longer is the podcast? It doesn't stop when you leave.

It stops when I stop it. All right. Tell me, who are you? She's a Jew. She's only half. The mother is a poly fucking Norwegian or something. I just think it's, I can't believe how fucking, I can't believe how terrible this shit is.

I can't believe how terrible these people are fucking vicious. They're so, I was reading this shit like I was like, oh my god Some of them are nicest guy writes rest in peace Bobby That's sweet They want to eat a rest in peace, but he put it that face I mean, let me ask you question. Let me have this out Why should I allow that guy?

10 hour why should I allow him? Why should I allow that guy 10 hour? Why should I allow him? Why should I allow? Why should I allow him a voice? You can disable. Well, you're giving a voice now. I'm low bow. Because I think this conversation needs to happen. Okay. I mean, should, I mean look.

I know brisket slider to be slashing out. That was Bobby actually. Saba Saba video. What's Manucci, by the way? Pat from Moon Moon. He's washing out that was Bobby actually Saba slobbo video What's Manucci by the way Pat from moon moon. That's a fat guy fat. That's literally a fat Oh an a fan Ah, and they're saying that they they literally thought it was me That's a joke. He's so angry, but they watch everything they listen to everything I don't understand that either there was another guy sloppy Joe yum yum

Great Asian place. It was a fun name. Drowning Korean barbecue. What's the one at the bottom that you so actively furious and why is it a playful name, but you're so angry. Why sloppy Joe yum yum and then just shut up. Yes. I think they think they're ball busting. But here's the thing. They're saying you you'll, Bob, at least check out the scale once in a while. Make sure you don't gain any more weight. Lose some weight of those pounds. Wait, man, you'll die like Patrice.

So if people don't change soon, are actually concerned. They love you. Yeah, but that's, I don't think I'm going to, I mean, am I really as heavy as Patrice? No, he was told. No, no, no, no. Well, you're using the camera. You were using the, the Wimo Wimo. I don't think I'm gonna I mean am I really as heavy as Patrice now he was now now now now now You're using the camera you were using the the Wimo Wimo Mivo Mivo. Sorry. It the way it like the way I made Gabby look giant on the live podcast It's not a great Angle for you list. I love you Mike. Thank you so much, but I am I mean these guys do have a point. I mean I am

I am bad you look worse there than you actually do. Yeah. And he's, it's spelled Tom Connor's name wrong. He was so great. That's her. Who said that? How about how Ray thinks he's like fucking president of Aruba? There's a river running. And he got that a side bowl, a side.

A side bowl. I say, yeah, that's all he has. They're so good. I know. I love that gig. Good gig. That's a great gig. It's a great gig. I thought people write things. I'm comment section that have traumatized me.

And I just, you can't listen to it. I mean, it doesn't traumatize me anymore because I'm kind of immune to, like, I can't, it's my own fault. Like what? I mean, I read it all and then I fall in a strange, and I, and I've got to really, you can't do it. You'll fall into like a low grade, derailing depression if you start to read.

Because they're just, they're so mean and they'll give you a new thing to like not even think about. Like some guy was like, you know, dumb bitch and her man voice. And I do have a man voice. Like just like, you never have one about. Like a man voice.

Thanks. You know, sloppy joke. Yum, yum. Yeah, you're a phone, Judy. I can't be on the podcast. I don't be on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a fucking this fucking asshole suing me for a fender bender at fucking Costco that they had they had Had a surgery literally nothing happened Fucking assholes anyway, so they someone once wrote to me that they should have a They should have another holocaust just for me

like a one day Holocaust. That's I wrote back. Really? I know all those people. That's a big oven. A solo cost. He said it's a big oven. You can't say that. That's too late.

Sorry. Because already out. Just scrub it. She'd have to duck in the regular oven. Now, were you popular in high school? No, I was a weird skateboard kid. All right. He's not popular now.

I was a weird skateboard kid, too. You were? Yeah. I rode, but I had a skateboarded. I had one popular now. I was a weird skateboard kid too. You are. Yeah. I rode my I had a skateboarded Jason Leiborb with the I was in the bag. I was all over like and it's a Jason Lee in the Burger King sign. Yeah, of course I know you're about to tell me to shut up Bobby go ahead. I have one one. No, I'm those just thrilling. Please talk about your skateboards I'm talking about fucking internet hate The worst is when the comments they nail it they they go, oh, I do do that. I do. Sometimes they really get you good or there's something that you do.

You did and you go, I shouldn't have done that. And then someone's like, I call it on you. Yeah. I mean, look, they're right. I walked out for this. It was like, you know, when you walk out at the beginning, you're special and you feel so stupid. I'm always like, what's my dumb body doing suddenly?

That walk and you're like, I've done something with my wrists. I don't remember what it was. I've always done with it. You just feel your whole body feels dumb. And some guy wrote, look how stupid her body looks. And she's walking. Look at her dumb movements. She's not even walking. You walk out of the house. That's what a mask. You look like. That's what a mask. Should we, should we, should we allow you stand? Should should we allow this? Should we we allow comments? We allow them in our lives. We let we could literally on Twitter say you have to I have to allow you to be on it on these comments We could do some everything can be eliminated if we wanted it to be but we choose To let them in because we're afraid of them not liking us We can block people I block people all the us. Well, you can block people.

I block people all the time. I do, I love it. I mute them. I block them. I want them to know. I want them to know. Because I like when they get mad. Because it's like, wow, dude, you're in your 30s.

You have a family. And you're mad at another guy for blocking you for saying that I'm a fat fuck and deserve to eat a bullet. And somehow you're mad at me for blocking, it doesn't make sense to me. I do feel like they're like children. They have to know there has to be a reaction. I don't know.

But I don't know how to deal with it. I just know I try really hard not to read it and then some days I just get pulled in and I read and it's so, you know, you really think you did a good job and it distorts you. It distorts your perception of everything you've done. As soon as you're like, oh, God, maybe I do just absolutely. I didn't ask me anything for just for laughs.

Uh-oh. And I, they were like, okay, I go, look, I'll do it. But it's going to be, it's going to be horrific. It's going to be horrific. As soon as these people find out that I'm doing this on Reddit, it's going to be horrific. Right. And they were just realized people were literally, like one girl was almost in tears, like

reading the horrific shit that was because of that. It was just they couldn't even find a question. I was like, I was just, I go listen, ask the questions they ask. I'll just answer them. That's because you can't get around it. You asked, I asked to do this. I put myself in the arena. What is that?

When you eat a steak, does it also make you crave cock? Do you know wrist boss? We'll be pouring in. Yeah, it was fucking crazy. More of an albino orca, Lebanese, housemaiden, or morbidly obese Mexican. That might have been about Mike, but yeah, that's tough. It's crazy It's crazy. I don't even go to this fucking thing

Rachel gets those you get those things on Twitter like I get with all the Jews. Oh I do something they say it's because Producer that made there was a meeting and yeah, but then Don't be funny if it really that really Like the Hitler Jew like when they make a thing you're always on there with me. Yes They do they always do a big Hitler collage for us. I Hey, go, go, go, go, go, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop. Hi, Bobby. No, hashtag big fan and Stark heck the voyage home What message will those aliens sending you now mind, with this came a picture of a whale.

Right, right. You know what? And case the people didn't get it, which some of the kids didn't. I was just like, I got Jesus. I was like, listen man, that comment got subcomments. What does that mean? You're like his comment got a bunch of laughs.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. One from just for laughs. I know they build a community around just crashing us. Yeah, the guy from looking at you. The one from just for laughs. I know they build a community around just crashing us. Yeah, the guy from the guy from just That's what I just spit my what the guy the conks I can give me the thing That was sugar wrote. I just spit my water out So he was lab this world just shit place and there's nothing we can do about it I think you just avoid eye contact with all the shit. You't want to look at. Look at the shit you do and

Let's let's get let's get Louis back into fucking show business. Um anybody. Yes. No, please. What about you Joe? I love him. I love I love Louis. I like to get a fucking something before I die. What do you mean? What? You're a show? You're a show. You're a show. You have a show. Tell me yours. I'm not a fucking, I want something that makes me some denaro. I'm talking to the Jews.

I'm talking to the meeting. The next meeting. The next meeting. Look in the mirror. What's the meeting? What's the meeting? What's the meeting? What's the meeting?

What's the meeting? We have the media meeting tomorrow. We have the meeting. Talk to the meeting. Get in on the meeting. Somebody said something to me was like, all you snouts get together. She's so preposterous. They just say people really think like this.

They do. And it's not fair because if there was a meeting, I would love to attend. Rachel, you have a beautiful nose. Rachel. Rachel has a beautiful nose. And you know what, Judy? I have a huge nose.

You know, my thing is, I can't see Joe or Rachel. Beautiful notes and you know what Judy? I have a huge nose. I you know my thing is a mark. I can't see Joe Rachel. Listen, why couldn't this hold like sexual revolution cap and when I was in my 30s sucks. Judy Judy, you know my thing is, you know my thing is 30s in the 60s. That was the big time. What the fuck up?

You know my thing is shooting big. I like a big. You do like a big. I've heard Bobby say that many, many a time. Love it Chelsea. Pretty. I love it. Yeah, beautiful You you you you end mark a book I'm kidding. I love a honker. I love it. I love a honker a pronounced nose I think is sexy on a woman. Yeah, I like fucking love it. You have a big nose now. I got a normal nuts She's very normal nose to me. To who? Well, she's eight feet tall. It's all important.

I'm not eight feet tall. Okay, I'm six, two. All right. You know what? I can't fucking hell tell tall I am. I hate that shit. It's like, you know, I have been listening to how fucking tall I am. Yeah.

Tows a compliment. Super marvelous. Now, eight feet tall is not compliment. You wouldn't say to a beautiful. It's not being of not I gotta read another read You have to know every day Every fucking day Three guys that's six reason we did really

Guys real quick, so we got one more guys agree with me. What's that? Guys real quick. No, we got one more guys agree with real quick ready. What's next? E Germany and I'm just he just I can suck lady. Oh, oh Brooklyn. Oh, oh, hey listen. What's your name again? Goldie Judy. Yeah, take get off your phone. I will be on my phone the whole I'm not coming tomorrow. I'm not coming I'm not showing up get on your phone again and I'm kicking you out showing up. Get on your phone again and I'm kicking you out. Best sheet. Bobby loves and misses you and he feels when you're all I want to talk about this.

We'll come tomorrow. Listen, listen, I want to talk about this one with you. All right, here. This, this, this company's awesome. I mean, you should use it. I was just thinking. I was, I'm not kidding. I was on the way here because they have a big ad in the subway I was like I want to try their fucking sheets. Yes, I have them. I have a second to me. They said to me and guess what I did. I got another one. I like them, but they're not that I got them. I bought them. They gave them to me and then I bought them. They're fucking unbelievable. And guess what? You know what they grade four gifts for Christmas.

Oh, Kumi. Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka Hanaka. Hanaka Hanaka. Two. All right. Listen, I love my sheets. I got them on my bed. It's like sleeping in a four seasons. I'm there unbelievable, but they're so discounted.

They're not expensive at all. You spend the 30 year life in the sheets with Brooklyn and why can't you be high quality sheets so soft? All right. It's high quality sheets embedding you and your loved ones deserve without the needless luxury taxes, retail prices. They're so I'm telling you, the cheapest health. Okay. You spend.

Listen to me, buying great sheets is an easy way to upgrade your life and your routine. The right sheets can make a break a good night's sleep and help you feel better and well rested every day. Eh, look at even though quality sheets make for quality sleep most high-end bedding is marked up. Did you know this? 300% by the time it gets deals.

Okay, by the time it reaches your Brooklyn it makes quality sheets, luxury sheets and bedding accessible to everybody. Get off your phone. He can get on his phone. I care about you more than Mark. Ouch. And it's a great gift idea. I used to be a beauty. I could use this pay attention. No, I want to get these Brooklyn in Brooklyn was founded in 2014 by husband and wife team. Vicki and Rich full up. Oh, full up spell it F U L O P is full of the full up. Not your last. The philosophy.

The philosophy. What's your name? People deserve simple, beautiful, home essentials without luxury prices. What's their name? Brooklyn is cut out. Onex. Ricky and Rich.

Pull up. Thank you. Onex. Shut up. Let me get through the fucking life. Judy, let me get through. Good off you phone. I'm looking up the full up. You follow you like lose Jay Gomez. I want to throw things at you. All right. Sorry Lewis to go miss Wow

Look at this from business insider these sheets are one of the best purchases I've ever made ever ever I really have my love them And all series that's 12,000 Judy, 12,000 five star reviews. Oh, wow. It's the fastest bedding brand in the world. Fastest growing bedding. Breading. Breading. They sell selling sheets in their apartment. Yeah, gross. Bookleted sheets. Listen, Brooklyn and Sheets were named winner of the best of online bedding category by good housekeeping. They have versatile colors, patterns. You can mix and match and they complete any decor. This is luxury bedding underpriced. You have to try these sheets

today. Oh my god. I love them. Look at them. They're so cute. I love my Brooklyn. They are awesome. But I love my sheets. I'm getting them. I'm getting them. I'm getting sheets and cute. I know you love them. Check this out. Here's the deal. Brooklyn and dot com exclusive offer from my listeners for Christmas time, 20 bucks off and free shipping. When you use promo code what dude at Brooklyn and dot com. In fact, it's so caught. They're so confident. You'll love the sheets. Sixty night satisfaction guarantee and lifetime warranty on all those sheets and confidence. There's no reason not to try this. Okay, try these sheets for yourself right now or try it for a gift for the holiday season.

Give the gift of luxury. The only way to get $20 off and free shipping is to use promo code what do that Brooklyn and dot com. This is how cool they are. Ready? Yeah. They did an interview with the husband and wife team of Brooklyn and they com. I'm going to wait. This is how cool they are. Ready? Yeah. They didn't interview with the husband and wife team of Brooklyn and they asked them who would be on your dream dinner party list.

Okay. Yeah. They said Louis. Be British. Keith Richards. That's a great one. Diane of Reel and love it. Steve Jobs.

Jobs. Jobs. Not jobs. Stop making them Jewish. Andy Cohen. I love Andy Steve Jobs Jobs Jobs Jobs Jobs. Not Jobs. Stop making them Jewish Andy Cohen. I love Andy. Hey Dommas. Oh, that guy's crazy Amy Sederis. Oh, of course and her husband Hey, here's one for you Judy Judy and there's one for you Judy. What are you and Mark? Yeah online dating you do it I'm in a fucking relation

Relations Is that what they call them the girl relationship relationship? Real babe if you're trying online dating Mark is also no drama. Gabby single. Yeah, there you go This is just Gabby. This is for Gabby. It's for everybody. This is for all my fans. No, everybody else's love. I just want to read it. Can I just read it? All right. I'm just saying Gabby's not love. That's it. She's dressed like a fucking prisoner in her own mind. I'm making outfit. Yeah, she's a look at it. She's a pretty.

She's like a beautiful like God gifted her with this beauty, and she tries to dress like a fucking mechanic. Let's say more pretty than beauty, wouldn't you? Oh, Jesus. Jesus, I think it's a cute look. I like your look. Thanks, and your beauty. What else?

Cutie is a downgrade from pretty. That's some horseshit girl stuff. No, but no, I think that kind of, that kind of like, kind of ironic. You don't like that. You don't like that. You don't like that. You look as cute. But you don't like that I should be able to be elegant. You wear beautiful stuff that outfit you despise you'd make fun of it. No, yeah

I like those army green military I like to pretend I'm like can I see if foot? Let me see if footwear. What are you wearing for footwear? It's not great Crocs, let me say Oh footwear. What are you wearing for footwear? It's not great. It's not. Oh, it's crocs. Let me say. Oh, those are the guys. I like that. I love sneakers. I can do your thing. I got to go. I like my like pull my shirt up. You asked a question. I love getting in pissed off. I have. If you're trying online dating, chances are you've run into what lazy tax

messages, dead end conversations and random matches that don't turn into dates. He's only harmony. He's only harmony. He's trying to sign up. You can get that. You know why I like he harmony. I allow the gaze. Unlike some. They do. I thought it was Christian. Christian, Michael. No, I think it's Christian, he hardly. Which one doesn't allow that? You can't listen. You can't get to know something.

You know Stagels, that. That resort. No gaze. Is it right? Yes. How do they know? Do they do research background checks before? They're going to go away, and they're going to be in a fucking resort.

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Psychology research to send you the right matches. E-Harmony brings compatible people together There are plenty of hookup sites out there. That is not what they are. Right now, my listeners, which I know you're a lot of you guys are alone. I know you need this. And we got a hook-up for you right now. You can get a free month with e-harmony when they sign up for three month subscription. Enter my code, do DUD at checkout. Stop waiting and start your journey to a satisfying meaningful relationship. It can be fun to play around with online dating apps, but when you're ready to fall in love with somebody

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Jude! What's happening? All right, it's the last ad I go dude What's what's happening? That's the first time I ever had to shut all the mics off on this show Ever I just got scared the way I do when my dad I know I've scored me. Yeah, I was really scared. You know and dad was serious. That was not terrifying. It's not you Okay, it's not you It's not you. Okay. It's not you. It's not you Not you on the couch. It's not you Mike. Not you mark I was on my phone. It's you

It's fun and you know what it's The funniest sounds I've ever heard my life for the folks at home Judy just threw her shit at Bobby God made a great sound. Thank you for listening to another episode of you know what We'll see you next week. Nope dash finestein.com What is it? Rachel dash finestein.com why dash finestein Because the finestein was the regular one was taken. Bobby by law firm. Yes, but there's another.

There's also another Rachel fine. Why do you matter? I just asked a question. Well, there's been because people always ask that, but there's another Rachel finestein that's really. What are you looking at? Famous look at my website for a second, but she's really famous. And she's a sculptor.

And she's really fashionable. And I always get offered things for. And then I get unoffered like like the Vanity Fair call me and they were like we want to honor your fashion choices and I was like I do make some they've been there intrigued I get and then I tell everyone and it's humiliating I told everybody I was like Vanity Fair's notice you know the new district storyline softly uninvite me and it's so painful. I've had a couple of soft uninvites. They said Oprah wanted to meet me and I was like, you know, maybe I could see like she's curious and she finds me fascinating.

And then I was like, I told my manager and I canceled a gig by the way to go to meet Oprah. It turns out it was the other fashionable Rachel fine seed. And then I tried to say, can you tell them I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, and then I tried to say can you tell them I'm like I'm like And they were like no, Oprah doesn't want like there was like a picture of me The most fascinating thing set on the whole podcast she was gonna meet Oprah You're gonna get done for texting with your seven-foot son What's happening call me later? I love you. I'm in there. I'm never not I love you. I'm a helicopter

I don't want to put the blame on anybody in particular, but every single person has taken their headphones off Yeah, it hurt my ears. Oh, but out today. No, no, it's my ear. We can turn the mouth I told you but you didn't really change it I told you but you didn't really change it. Oh, Oh, it doesn't listen to one. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I like you a lot because you charged my phone

and you were very sweet, but when I did say the volume thing, you kind of, I didn't feel like you understand. Well, you say it again. That's the problem. No, I tried to turn it down. Joe, what do you have? Oh boy, herpes HPV 80. That's funny.

That's funny. That's funny. Shut up. I have, Herpes HPV 80 That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. Shut up. I have I Have The the interrupted Judy is really turning my feelings and the coffee is very upset You know what's gonna happen now? I'm gonna get a call after the show in 30 minutes from Bobby going dude now It's a good episode. What the fuck with the I know what I know what you I know when Judy comes on my show. She it's a good episode. What the fuck with the intro? I know what you I know what you think comes on my show. She that's what she does.

I love Judy. She can do it. She has to deal with all my fans going shut that. Tawed up. Yeah, that's right. Tell that guy to stop. I'll be at Zane's. I'll be at Zane's in Rosemond, December 13th.

No, wait, this is already passed. No wait, this week, this week started Wednesday. How was it? it was great? I can't wait I love eating good room. Let me tell you something that hotel That's right right yeah, and the fact that you're kind of stranded. They might put me to better hotel You're kind of stranded. It's like a strip mall kind of that and that comedy club is also really good great club For my comedy club that That staff is lovely. For the first city. Yeah. I've never been there. I've never been there.

What's up with that shit? I need to go to my comment club. It's a it's a ain't been there. Fuck that shit. It's booked by sandals. It's not even a house. What else you got? Yeah. Here's what I got. I got the truth shirts available at merch pump. That's right. Combing get your journalists the truth. Go to merch pump right now.

Get your truth shirts for Christmas. Great. I'm out of my comedy club. Oh god, I hate it. It's a good tiffin'y head. It's a good tiffin'y head. And, and I also have your, the truth shirts and right there,

there they are, and on the same page, your YKWD hoodies are available now. We're gonna do a Christmas sale next week. Guys. On these hoodies, I mean, these hoodies are, I love them. Yes. It's a great hoodie. I got one.

Yeah, it's a good one. I got a low, so. Merge pump right now. Get your truth, the truth shirt and your YKWD hoodies. Right now, great kiss, Christmas gift for yourself and for another fan of Joe or mine. Look at the sizes that come in medium, large and bobby. All right. I got a laugh, but I'll still wear it out of guilt.

Comedian, Joe list. I'll be in Grand Rapids New Year's Eve. Dr. Grins the separate 28th of the first speed it up I got interrupted Aspergers, oh no, I'd say I'm all over the road Albany Mohican son for New Year's That's gonna be a tough one. Please come out. We're at Laffitt up Pekipsi.

And then I got Helium and Buffalo, Helium and Philly and Arbor, Comedy Zone Charlotte Laffitt's called Comedy Attic of Bloomington, Bananas, Macgoobies, and you know, what a Baltimore. Yeah, Buffalo, down the creek. Okay, great club. So you're Mark Domingo.

Why ain't that book of me there? It won't book me after Helium. Mike, Mike, where are you? Check my website. I don't know if my calendar is updated. Mike, where are you, Mike, anything? This week I'll be at Lafayette Loud in San Antonio with you, Bobby.

You'll be there. Alby and Corpus, Miss Geet Street Comedy Club, the weekend after that. And for New Year's week, I'll be featured for really much San Antonio. Wow, it's great. You were so awesome when I was in San Antonio. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome. I think you was good. I liked it. I don't even know. I like Mike, man. I like him. You must have gotten better. Yeah.

Gabby, what do you got besides of? I'm in a bunch of bars and basements this whole month. So check out my Instagram. You got to find her. She's Ryan. What about comedy? What? I'm doing comedy then.

Gabby Gabby Gabby, shut up everybody. What is your Instagram? Gabby is Brian. Gabby is Brian. Please check. I have a website. Her Instagram is one of the most annoying stories if you follow it.

Because she always goes, hey guys, like there's thousands of people. Don't break it up. There's like thousands of people. Hey guys, just want to let you know Who's the hot brunette kind of say this I followed Gabby and like the suggestions popped up as Joe let's go yeah, Zach. What do you got real quick? All right, we got one more announcement right at the end so hang in there. Go ahead. What's mine?

All right, we got one more announcement right at the end. So hang in there. Go ahead. What do I what's mine? Why can't I put you? I'm out. I'm settled down. You fuck face. What do you got? I felt loud this week. Yeah.

You speak in San Antonio. Come on. See Bobby. I got the Yonkers comedy club. I'm doing that right. It's literally eight minutes from my house. I'm doing that. It's almost sold out. So if you're in Yonkers or in Westchester,

you want to come see me on a Wednesday, please feel free. And then I'm going out there from a happy theater with the great Mike Calta on the 15th back at the brokerage in Long Island on the 16th, right back. And then the 22nd, 23rd, I'm a Gotham comedy club. Get your tickets now. Also on the 21st, I will be taping the tonight show with the great Also on the 21st I will be taping the tonight show with the great Wish me luck on that training for that and then of course

Thank you guys for coming in again. You guys are great. I have to go to we'll see you guys next time Judy never know Judith needs to do it. Shoot it feels ignored Judith feels ignored. Judith feels, thank you. I'm just, Judith feels the fact. You didn't even ask me what I'm doing. That's because you were on your phone. You know what I learned about my kid? You have to have consequences, Judy. And your consequences this.

Oh, all right. So I'm at, I'm doing the home for the holidays with Cindy Lapper at the beach. Oh, the next one today. That's a big one. Can I get on that show? I'm doing, I'm doing. I'm doing.

A little field. Carol. Watching renditions with Elliott Glazer. I'm playing the clarinet. Shut the fuck up. Oh, clarinet. Yeah, that's fascinating. I'm doing Carolines December 22nd and 23rd.

That's cool. Atlanta, the 25th. How many fucking weird lesbian headshots do you have? Jesus. I'm a cares. Eyes of you, Johnny. Look at that one. I'm on the Twitter. J-U-W-D-Y. She's the best fans ever. Thanks for hanging in there. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

Tomorrow, I'm on you. Who's going to be on my podcast next week? I'm on your podcast tomorrow. That's right. But it's going to air on Tuesday next week. I want to thank all you guys for joining us. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast.

I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast.

I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on the podcast. I'm on who's gonna be at my podcast next week. I'm on your podcast tomorrow, right? But it's gonna air on Tuesday next I want to thank all Zach Gabby and Mike you guys are the best. Thanks for helping me put this together. You guys thanks for coming in I love all you guys here today except for You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.

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