Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Just Holes | Yamaneika Saunders, Marshall Brandon, Mehran Khagani, James Felton Keith

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

This week Yamaneika Saunders guest hosts for Bobby Kelly as she's joined by Marshall Brandon, Mehran Khagani, James Felton Keith as they get into the downside of comedians finding success, Japanese vending choices, and underground baby auctions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This is the original. Original. Rachel Rachel Welcome welcome welcome. It's not Bobby Kelly y'all honey It's the big area. Ola big bitch you hate The one that climbs into your nightmare Let's you know what really is going on in the world. Yes, I came here to fuck it up. And just because Bobby's not here today but was gracious enough to let me be host, I decided to do some fun things that I think will be

friendly enough for you guys to still maintain your integrity as who you are, but also let my guess shine as who we are. So if you're ready, let's have some fun. I am Yamanika Saunders. You may have seen me on Netflix the degenerates. You may have seen me on Comedy Central You may have seen me on the tonight show. You may have listened to my comedy album damsel in distress. I am not one, but I want to be Tonight my guests are JFK yeah James and Phil Tinnon Keith. I got too many first names, James and Felton and Keith. I got too many first names, but I paint houses

and sell software companies to insurance companies. That's all I do. I live in Harlem. I'm from Detroit though. So what up though? What up though? Detroit is where the realist niggas live. Yeah, but if they can get out,

you jump over there, fence up. Jump, you're quick. fence. Jump your quick. You fucking come to my house. Yeah. Wow. I am a refugee. Yeah, I'm a refugee Detroit. Keeping them alive.

Yeah, 81 always. JFK has a little bit of a political background, but he's trying to be laboosh. So yeah, I mean, I got all of my buttons buttoned up except one the day. Yeah, I mean, I ran for Congress in Harlem a while ago. Start with that. That's what you lead with. to go nobody want to hear about this painting and shit Who the fuck are you the black vengo? I'm not running. I'm not I'm not I hear for your man today is

Independence day today is voters day for everyone out there who didn't vote you still have Another nobody vote to go vote New York already has its new Uncle Tom Mayer. Shay. Well, we worked in a primary for it. We worked in a primary. I don't care that man is a Uncle Tom UT. He's had every job on the planet. Akuna Matata. Mama.

Akuna Matata. All right, the look, the feel of cotton. Bitch. I know Akuna when I see one, but JFK loves him. I did not say I love him. I did not say I love him. He was third on my ranked choice ballot, but Behind who snuff a lot. Get a little stuff. Love this And who else I vote on folks based on who responds in my text

Who's in my phone and who comes back the fastest? Well, that's the case the top three mayors for me are three fuck boys. I got rid of last week What and if we can if we can carry we'll come back to you in you a political hour Yeah, I saw you starting to campaign. I saw flags coming up out of you Shoulder pads shade I do have one short of she's a shady bitch. So the bags are back in honey all these kids never look like a da 80s Shit, I don't know. I think that shit did kind of leave unless you were in a suit Did that ring come off of Japanese soda and now and I'm the only reason I ask yes is because They're delicious

Japanese sodas they always have some type of cat kittens. Yes, mama some type of hello kitty Con of candy, right, but it's always like so soda. I thought was like panties in a soda machine sure Yeah, that's it. Oh you get soda machine. Sure. Yeah, that's it Oh, you get soda's and panties. Yeah, that's my next comedy album mucus panties soda. That's gonna be the next American China town. Yes, what do you get Japanese? Japanese From Japan The sprite corporation would never let Japanese soda come here unless it had some type of.

It's just Coca-Cola. Let's just Coca-Cola. I can't wait for the Japanese listeners to write us and go how ignorant you are. Listen, Bobby Kelly does have a Japanese look. I bet you he's big in Japan. Oh my God. That's not wrong.

He's definitely one of the dragons and one of the parades. Beeeeee. Definitely. It's Bobby Kelly Day in Japan. Bobby looks like a pork bun. And let me tell you something. That's how white he is in rounds. But I'm proud of him.

He's working his ass off losing weight. I told him I said, don't get too thin. Why? Because I like me a big one. Yes, you do. I got to fight his wife though. But I like me a big one. Yes you do. I gotta fight his wife though, but I like me a big one.

Oh, my next guess, if I can, we're at what 15 minutes in, we haven't acknowledged who the next person is. But everybody's running in my house. My next guess, what can I say about him? We fight, we get back together, we fight, we break up, we're part of the team,

we're not a part of the team He's the reason why they put the plus the equal sign and the division and the LGBTQ IA what the fuck was that are you saying that I'm gender queer gender fluid? I'm saying you're every letter and the equation. Yes. I'm I'm too spirit. Yeah. Yes I'm not you tell them I'm math. Uh My name Tell them about you. Tell them about you. I'm math. My name is Maron Cagani. I run a not-for-profit glory hole in Times Square, where I only work in uncircumseye.

But it has to be mangled. It has to literally look like it's been through a garbage disposal or a masticating juicer. And then it goes right in my mouth and I bring it to what is a tepid orgasm? What is a room temperature? Unimpressive. What's the tepid? Like a like it's like oh I did that. It didn't happen. Like I guess so. I'm wet. You know and then and then I just send people right back into their day. They're they're not confused. They're not like there's no, they don't need to re up on their meds. They just go right back into their day, having

nutted in my mouth with their mangled. This is, if you want to find Mayeron, you can also find him in a Vending Machine in Japan. Absolutely. You press eight and then a, just hold, just my whole. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Can we come up with a line of food called just holes? Just holes! I believe that's called joctores chocolates. I don't know why I'm saying this. He's just French, he's done nothing wrong. He's done everything. L'Ozzaclée Blue. Yeah, Sacre Blue!

Saclée Blue. That's great to be here. Thanks for having me. Of course. We're gonna do this. We're gonna get crazy. We're gonna get crazy. I'm ready. Before we we get into the even more craziness because it's been a lot of crazy so far I want to say this next person first of all everyone here I love and I have such a great respect for everybody who is here

We got rid of people that was supposed to be I said get them out here Scram be that Okay, who huh let Bobby deal with him. I'm doing something different and PS this is the blackest show has ever been. The listeners are like who said we could do Wakanda and Black History Month at the same time. Hashtag Shirley Chisholm. Now, the next person I'm bringing to the stage, what an amazing, incredible talent. We just work together.

Everybody wants to work with him. He is phenomenal. And if this world was right, and he was white, the rest of these niggas would be sitting down. OK? Make no mistake. When you don't hear about us, it's because white people, mediocre white niggas, taking up down, okay? Make no mistake, when you don't hear about us, it's because white people, mediocre white niggas

taking up his body. So without further ado, please, Marsha Brandon, tell them who you are. What's up? Yeah, I'm Marsha Brandon, comedian, stand up comedian, writer, actor sometimes. What I'm gonna do on my thing for a while and things are going, you know, real well

at this moment, right? You don't have any, but yeah, that's what I'm funny. Let me tell you something. What an intro. He's trained. The rest of these things is a whole back story from kindergarten to the brain. I paint, but I want to get into some jazz right up top

Right up top Kim Kardashian and P Davidson are having a love affair. Are they really? What say you already James is not with it. It's not like some Laura Michaels PR shit Well, I just want to say on behalf of everybody that works at SNL and that knows me because I'm trying to put my audition tape in, I do not agree with the views of the last 35 seconds of the show. The last 35 years of Saturday. Lauren Michaels crooked attempts to go sides against the middle to create such crazy ultral trend after cultural trend. But you know what, do you think it is Lauren? Because he's been, P. Davis has been with,

first of all, let me just preface this by saying, I know P. Davis and I knew him when he first started. He was a young kid, hungry, funny, just like a great kid. You know what I mean? And when you start young in this business and you get captured young, there's a lot of things that go on. So I think people may have a perception of whoever whoever he is and then they never saw him again

And then some people are like, oh, he's this he's that he's that I think it's funny. God. I think he's a good dude but I do Wonder if there's a lot of posting him next to women that can excel His spotlight because how did he get where are you on a gronday not the ponytail bitch? Well, I don't know she did ever she dated mag miller and like I mean, he's a great rapper, you know RIP But uh, oh you saying that because he's not here any longer There he's a brother one of my favorite rappers from the 2010s I like him Kendrick

PS audience if you haven't if you didn't see GFK, which you should he's like skin So you know a lot of his rap on right about every motherfucking thing. And I'm from Detroit. Yes. I'm wearing a hoist. It's the Detroit that I never got into Mac Miller. So I'm not going to disrespect him like that. I just I wanted to know because there's a lot of people you could have mentioned. We're up-siking fuckable garbage. I don't know that little girl.

I don't really listen to music that came out. You don't know, so you know Mac Miller, but you don't know Ariana Grande. I listen to hip hop. I don't listen to, like, I listen to more of the music. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know that I don't know that little girl. I don't really listen to music that came up You don't know look so you know Mac Miller, but you don't know are we on a grand day? I listen to hip hop I don't listen to like I listen to Mariah Carey. Why don't you you ain't never watch you at H&M? We're been on the elevator at Casember Casember, I'm not that's not 40 not to be too in the little girls twinks at this point

But I mean could be in tour. Mm-hmm, which is why I'm not in the p Davis anymore either, but I mean, I'll just say It just don't make no sense that he's dating her. But at the same time, I think they do that kind of thing all the time. You know, it's PR. I think I got a little game too. He might. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, big dick. I don't know that it's a big dick, but I know it works. He's tall and lanky.

What do you mean? Because he doesn't have to like squeeze the bass and yell at him. He hasn't have to rope it into a bitch, just by, it's at attention, vascular, but the, you know, it's that kind of, I'm in the kid. The big of you. And I want to stick right now, but I'm in the bathroom.

You know what I mean? Like just bring it over here. That's it. You ain't got to be here. Just hand it here. I hope it worked. You know what? I hope he is. But it is. It is garbage. The Kardashianism is garbage. Ariana Grande got blessed. There were talented. It's Kim so garbage. She's a lawyer now. Kim is garbage. She's not a little worse. She's not a little bravest supermodel of all time. Oh my God. I'm not even kidding. Help me Jesus.

Help me Lord. She poor tyra banks. Are you out of your fucking mind? Look at this girl. You got a, what's girl? A bitch is literally waiting. What bitch is? A billion, a billion.

She's not a supermodel because she's sold a billion. She could, she's, she's a blue raging. A Caribbean. No, no, no, no, no so the billion she cuz she's she blue raging Oh my god ladies it is anyway we can do a poll Nicole Please come on I need you to all four mom to please what come on No, we're not doing that here. I like everybody else. Come on, we don't know what you're doing.

What are we not doing? We're not doing it. It is aesonine. Let's just talk really quick. It is aesonine. For you to equate, with all due respect. Just yell her brand,

no, bring it on. Her brain, okay, her vines. But this also trickles into comedy. Because what happens is you have comedians Yeah, who amass a large audience. Yeah, and they become big have a heart. He wasn't funny after you gonna learn today It's a me. I know he doing stadiums, but what has he done? That's funny To me what is I need to I need to understand I believe

I need to I need to understand I believe I'm not a comedian. I need to find out from the young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young young As Naomi Campbell not or a Heidi Klune or Tyra Banks

Her brand has as a super model She's not in the label of being a super model. We can give her props for being a Brands right? But if we're equating that right That she gets to be in the Supermodel category, then we just start bringing anybody. So let's bring Warren Buffett in. He's also a Supermodel. Look how many billions of dollars he got. He don't do fashion in magazines.

But what? Yes, he does, no. And he does interview with Daisy what a couple of years ago. What does Footpoint? He does Footpoint. He did Warren Buffett. He loves to show those thick ankles. So, what's the point with him? Yeah, no, and he has circulation issues and refuses to wear compression socks.

So what he has, like, he has these sort of, you know, what people are saying. Like, and do are they saying anything? Are they saying anything, Nicole? I like that. I've just blacked out for most of this, honestly. I was like, you wore black socks with everything all the time. What, what did he say? What does anybody agree with him? Cancels. At this point, I'll even take the race comments. What?

Because there's no way. There's no way other people would talk with you. I know there's already a lot of good sisters to be supermodels. I just saw her one sister. You keep saying supermodel. I keep telling you it's the brides. For sisters that had their whole face. But they all they I was just in whole fools

And the the talk one was on that dates are the basketball players was just on two magazines at once. They all date the basketball players I mean, I don't know why their middle name is it in B.A. They are like six to I mean I get it. I would yeah, yeah I think she's supermod I think that I think I think that she is a she is I think she is supermodel. I think that I think that she is inherently the kind of low grade celebrity that would have been doing the $25,000 pyramid, but she literally doesn't have she she can't communicate. She's not a she's not a. She's not a. She's not a.

She's not a. She's not a. She's not a. Okay, let's do that. No, we're not doing that. We're not. That's a good. That's a good.

Great. That's a good. Great. Great. Great. I think we're as great as comedian world's greatest silver model. Which one? Which one is she gonna be? She is neither nor. She is a, she's an insta, like she literally, you're not gonna get booted out. I just try to figure out am I on planet Earth still? She's a social media with profit. She's a personality. Right. She's a personality.

Right. What is Tyra Banks? She modeled for a while. But the Tyra Banks was legitimately a super model. She was, right, on runways, she became super when, because her family sold her to Italy and went through it. Right. Like Cindy Crawford had this marketing component.

She did whatever that Pepsi or Coke commercial was. Blue up. Right. We saw Beyonce do it again later. Cindy still a great. I don't think those are the parameters for being a supermodel. Not no disrespect. But it's after you go into marketing, you scale.

I don't believe is that the case? Because I believe they've come supermodels once they start to Internationally walk runways for certain Toro houses things like that she do all the houses with that the light skin do they let do One of them brain remember when we had the guy that was doing chocolate rain and then it's taz on day Yeah, I don't know who that is Chocolate rain. Is that a song?

Yeah, it was like the early days of the internet. That's really what the couple, Yomini is talking about is correct. Right. These are people who hit the internet good and early, like, if I may. Go, go. When Tyra Banks started doing,

oh my god, thank you. When Tyra Banks started, I live for taz on day. When Tyra Banks started, when she started doing America's my God, thank you. When Tara started, I lifirtize our death. When Tara started doing, when she started doing America's Next Top Model, in general, the modeling industry was like, I can't believe she's doing this low rent reality TV thing. And everybody looked sideways at her, and then 24 cycles later, she's like,

I'm gonna buy dancing with the stars. Like she made serious money, and people were kind of side-ying her, being like what you're doing is low rent and tacky. Kim Kardashian similarly did like a porn tape and then she started to do marketing and being a very early stage influencer, that kind of a thing and she started to get money coming in that way. But everybody was side-ying her like, oh, you did a porn tape, that's low.

Oh, you're doing influencer work, that's low. But she was like, I'll see you a billion dollars later. Everybody's got a porn tape. That's what these two bitches have in common. But what they, what we cannot deny is that they both do low rent shit. Tyra Banks, like, you know, putting girls in blackface and like, kind of bastardizing what was the kind of ex- like elite and exclusive and unattainable.

Unattainable. Not RuPaul is doing her thing. Of supermodel hood. He took her home. A supermodel hood, which was supposed to be unattainable and unreachable. But what we cannot deny is that Tyra banks walked the Run ways of Milan. So did Kim. She was just in Milan, but she broke a whole show

Yeah, you know the point that she worked her way up. No, no She's not a model because she's a model. She's a model because she's a celebrity right right sure Sure, I think however you get to that super status, you know, you don't get, well, listen, Madonna did stand. That didn't make her stand. Well, let's talk about politics because also politics. It's bastardized like that, right? And so we've had a bunch of politicians who have sort of jumped in celebrities who have jumped in. Nobody takes them seriously. Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor of California. He fucked up royally.

Donald Trump was our president. I'm not gonna get into that, because no one's telling who's listening to that. But what I'm saying is, it wasn't like somebody checked the app to who got them to be politician. Ronald Reagan, too, though. Ronald Reagan and all the guys are actors.

Sure. The only ones with like, but when we understand what it means to really be a politician, really have somebody who's been and the trenches and understand what it means to be a politician, understand law and order, understand ordinances, understand how this whole structure works.

Sure. And it's not just put in as a mouthpiece to something else. We know where we give respect. But I would agree with you as part of the reason why the world has sort of made a complete nose dive down into garbage is because most people, no disrespect to you, believe that Kim Kardashian is also a supermodel because they see her in supermodel spaces

and don't understand that she didn't get there from the work of being what should be a supermodel because they see her in supermodel spaces and don't understand that she didn't get there from the work of being what should be a supermodel. It's, she's there because she's a celebrity. Like when we talk about supermodels, we talk about women who are a certain height, certain body frame, it ain't her short. She changed the game.

She did not change the game. She brought eyes. She only wrote, no. They used to not change the game. She brought eyes. She only wrote, no. They used to not be a good name. To deny, if you think, if you think Kim Kardashian brought curve to supermodeling when Naomi Campbell has brought about that, no, no, no, no, she did not bring a bridge. No, she did not.

She absolutely did not look at that. Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks, Rod and hips and ass but they weren't that Super modeling they are not Curvy not curvy like like Nikki and like okay, so let me let's turn Not Yamanica into a debate monitor Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right And I also don't want to like talk about Kim Kardashian this much. I didn't know you moderate. Right, right, right. And I also don't wanna like talk about Kim Kardashian this much.

I didn't know you were a part of her brand. I'm not, I don't even shit about her. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because this is a lot of like gaslighting about who she was and nobody believes that. And I almost not know anybody in the audience. And only people that agree with you who are listening here, like have pictures of her and jerk off to her

or they wanna fuck her. But nobody thinks that she's moving the dial forward when it comes to anything. I don't, I think the majority of Americans do think that. I think the data says that, but I'm just talking about data. You don't know about that. You know, the data that like what the, the machine that is public relations in this country is telling you what the act like they're giving you they're feeding you numbers that then you're regurgitating and adding sort of heat to the reality is that you know what what Kim Kardashian represents is a very coordinated public public relations campaign just like our new date and with the lower Michaels is doing which is how we started it. I think that and I actually would

I am inclined to think that the, that Pete Davidson is now also an instrument of public relations. Everyone at work's an instrument. You have exactly that. I think that that's, I don't think that that's it. I think that's fair enough. I mean, what I was trying to get to the nuts and bolts of it

is that is there any real attraction going on here? Problem. Number one, because, and the last thing I want to do, okay, it's slut shame. But we've watched this woman go from how many men are we deep into men that she's been in love with 13, 14 at this point? Maybe five or six of them, she's married. She's if he is really into her, I would caution him to take a real good look at her because a lot of what she does in terms of relationships looks like publicity

stunts. Totally, but that's totally slush, but yeah, the Asian bitch in front, not to slush. I don't think it's slush, she's not shaming at all. I think it's talking about, I don't think it's slush shaping up. But I hear you. No, let me be very clear. Because I'm already, and guess hosting on the show, and people like, who the fuck is this bitch?

So what I'm not gonna do is I'm not gonna have somebody go, oh, that slush-shame, it's not slush-shaming. What I'm telling you is, she has, I don't know, I'm gonna be going. Nobody's shaming her. Her track record that she's produced herself is 13 or 14 different men that we've watched her rotate some within the year.

And it's always been some publicity around that and they've been exploited through the show. So what I'm telling you is there's an age difference for sure between the two of them. If he is a young guy who's not just having fun and really likes her. I would caution him to be careful as I would caution a girl who was also with some guy that's older than her running through the mill of men. To be cautious about giving your heart to somebody who moves around gets a bunch of different partners going

and may not be into you, may just want the heat of being around you. I think it will probably, like, she's bigger, a bigger than him. Like, it will probably make, like, make more people know about him than it would be. Absolutely. She has orders of magnitude more famous than he is.

That everybody would talk to Richa Hollady. I think he brings a youth to her that she's on her way out. I'm not saying she's not big, but we know we always want to keep the relevance going and lose the new hot kid on the track. And it definitely is Pete Davidson. People like him a lot. He has a large fan base. a new hot kid on the track. And it definitely is Pete Davidson. People like him a lot.

He has a large fan base and he is definitely on the young moment and he and children and young people sexualize him. So that, you know, it rolls back because we're, but it's about to be fallback. Roll foot. What is it? Fallback spring forward. I can't do the time.

We are rolling back Kim Kardashian's pussy by a calendar decade. Her pussy is actually, it's like in death becomes her when they give the picture of the ocean. I'm telling you Pete Davidson's dick glows blue and comes in a crystal vibe. And they just shoved it up her, Juxi. And now she is 10 years. I believe it's like it's like vaginoplasty. It's like labioplasty. Goldihans are hot in that moment. What Goldihans? Goldihans. Yeah, it's a big hole in there. Yeah. Uh, I was I and I am bringing it back to the Asian girl who's in the front who's who sits in front of them. That bitch is that's her. She's down right. Whatever. I love her makeup girl because you know Kim going get on a rollercoaster and go is my hair and makeup? And also when I get off here, you got to touch me up. Yes. What if they just met and they clicked and they cool?

That's okay. That's not, absolutely not. I mean, that also could be a thing. No, that's the most boring thing to talk about, which is why I didn't bring it up. Right, but that also is a good thing. And, Yami, you do this all the time. You will look at it like a celebrity thing

and be like, I hope everybody has their guard up. Like, she treats them like their authentic relationships. These are contractually negotiated. There are like, there's everybody has their guard up. Like she treats them like their authentic relationships. These are contractually negotiated. There are like, there's a board of 12 people. A summary of lawyers. What about Beyonce and Jay-Z? They're not. I do not doubt that some part of them was negotiated.

I do not for a second doubt that some part of that relationship was boardroom negotiated. I can do that. People thought that this was a good thing. That was a good thing. Let's get these two together and see if there's chemistry. Fuck it, we're gonna marry them. I mean, these are conglomerate corporations.

These are not individuals anymore. They represent brands that spend fashion, food, come, I mean, like the, the, I love it. None of this is authentic anymore at a certain level. When money is sort of circulating at that level, it's not about the people. Anyone who believes that is sort of contributing

to the economy of bullshit. I mean, I'm not necessarily gonna go, maybe I'm biased about Jay and Beyonce, but I do feel like they did a great job of PRing the cheating and then making up a relationship to make problems about it and seem to jive. Jay right. I was about it. It seemed a J. K. Even gave Let's let's move on because you don't try to act like you're not team Kim. So no, I'm just I'm just been a reality I don't want you to stay there. I want you to stay there and that I'm like her. I don't like Kanye

I think he's no no no too late for that. You will you will be getting a Christmas That's them coming for you now. Number one largest, modeling, I decided that I wanted to do headline, headlines, not give you any of the story. Yeah. I'm just gonna read you the headline. We're gonna guess what happened. I'm gonna go one by one by one.

I'll let you have it individually. Marshall, this is for you. Wow, let's go. Amazon driver fired for giving scantly clad woman a ride. Oh, yeah. What happened when he lived with his girl? I'm saying. And he don't really get much free time to do his bullshit.

And so he, one day he was riding, he looked in the back of his truck, and he was like, damn, if I move to these boxes, it'd be like a bad back there. He called up his other shorty and was like, yo, won't you ride on my route with me tomorrow? And he picked up and they went out there. And somebody just happened to be being nosy outside the window where he usually drop off that probably every like day that week

You know, so like every Wednesday he drop off right there So my caught that now he out of the job. Oh, I love it. It's a real story. Yeah Scanley clad woman gets out of the van According to publisher ports the man is currently unemployed. You got fired. The Florida Amazon Prime driver was caught on cell phone video, letting the woman out of the back door of his van on a side street. The woman who appeared to be barefoot was seen adjusting her dress. And she strolled away from the van.

The video was first uploaded to TikTok where it generated over 12 million views. And has since be Kim Kardashian as the number one supermodel. You are such a stupid. I am going to move to Mayron. For the record, that's not scantily clad. Do you know what I mean? That's a mini dress.

It's Florida. It's hot there. She came out of a prime. You know, prime Amazon Prime is the motherf fuckers that got to be moving quick. Yes, that's some go get an umbrella. Amazon bitch where I'm waiting two or three days. Not my problem. Not my now.

Nope. No bra. No pan. That's facts. He will go to the next week because he's garnered 12 million TikTok fans. Right. But I heard they Amazon is pretty lenient with their drivers.

I was in an Uber and he was telling me I like this. And he was, I was not in North Carolina. He was a man. The Amazon dude, they be dragging on the truck. Oh, yeah. Well, let me tell you where the buck stops. When black whom was on Amazon man, Fox white was a regular woman in Van.

Yeah, they said no child left behind and no Amazon driver left in the van. No. Now, Mayeron, yes, here's your, here's your head. Do you have new shoes? All right, I'm right. I'm back. Honey was Florida. Mom and you let you get to.

Yeah, you came right out the kid. Shout out to Florida. I'll be there in Boca-Writan in December. See you guys there. Subway worker fired after walking on food. Oh, okay. I unfortunately know this story. You do.

Should I skip you on this? You're welcome to skip me on this because I know the truth. I've seen the video. I'm gonna save, hold on, we'll save that for you because let's do the next one. Okay. Sprinkle gate, sinks a UK bakeries, top sellers,

after topping is found to be illegal. Yeah, I also know this one. Are you on Sandra Rose dot com like? No, I'm not. I just happen. I am a, I'm married to a man who reads everything. And so that's the conversation we have. I'll be like, what'd you just read?

But basically, the United Kingdom has very specific sort of food laws. And some sprinkles are allowed. And some sprinkles are.. Some sprinkles are. That's crazy. Yes. And it has something to do with, like, I don't know, where it was sourced from, or maybe the oils that are used and making the sprinkles. I will segue into this.

I recently drank so much that I went home and I had these sprinkles in my dessert cabinet. And I sprinkled them all over some lemon sorbet, and then fell asleep nude in the guest room on top of the blankets. And then realized that they weren't sprinkles, but pieces of wire that had been cut up. And so I had wire in my gums, like I was literally scraping wire, and I was like, I am too old for this shit.

I am 45, and I'm still eating plastic and waking up nude in rooms that are not on the wire. The why is into sprinkles? That's the question I'm asking. I don't know, like a room. Because my fat ass would also be eating them. 100% look like sprinkles. Yeah, yeah, I tried. And then there were also all over all over my bed bed. I'm just saying I fucked up.

But the British thing it has to do with sourcing and England is in some regards, like you wanna encourage people to have standards around food and sourcing and all of that. But in this case, some men's business went to shit. He had a very specific muffin or cupcake or a donut or some shit. And then says here, a British bakery has been forced

to pull its on top selling cookies from the market. After regulators informed the owner that the sprinkles are illegal. The US made sprinkles contain a coloring. Yes. That's legal for some uses, but not for sprinkling. This is what I mean, people get into involved. Mind your fucking business. Like the sprinkles live.

Who gives a fuck what the sprinkles are made of? If the sprinkle lobby had the power of the beef lobby that scared Oprah. Uh, the beef lobby. Not only did it scare, no. I thought it was like, my fuck is like, no, the ordinances. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oprah moved her show to Texas for like two months

to fight beef. Yeah. And that's why we have Dr. Phil because he was the one who was coaching her. And then she gave him, that's why we're stuck with that fat motherfucker. Oh, is he still on Wednesday, Tom? Well, who's testing sprinkles?

Like, who? I do. Apparently I, that's the good question. Who is, I guarantee you, give us some UK, Karen and they're like, I don't like these sprinkles.

They look too colorful. Oh, you know someone snatched someone snatched. Yeah, I would have been going to jail left and right because I don't know these little teeny law hits that company. He didn't he didn't grease the palms. That's what it is. That's how you stand. But when you got a retail business,

you got to you got to grease the low. Also, Trump fucked everything up for us internationally. He just did. It was he was he getting like a deal on the sprinkles or something? Why would you just buy the right sprinkles? He got them all, he got them all. You're right. He got them Virginia sprinkles.

Right, like, you save them. Let me, I mean the drugs come into the country from. And let's tie it right there with Virginia sprinkles because I have something that sounds like a friend. Yeah. You're Ali. Maybe you know about this.

Court rules that Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippos are Legally people. Yeah, what are cocaine hippos? I just make it up. This is we're just trying to figure out if you can how close you can get to what's really going on. I think I I'm not funny. I don't know It doesn't have to be funny. I don't know. You were hilarious the first 15 minutes of the show. Oh, what's the video you were doing? I don't know. That's comedy. Yeah.

That's comedy. I just people all find it. Polarious. Cocaine hippos. I don't know. They're probably like looking at the DNA of the hippos compared to like average humans and saying that there's so much mix mixing that they might as well like Classified these animals as humans so that eventually at some point they can sort of

Place everybody in this underworld under class and I don't know enslave them And yes, I'm more of a fashion. I feel like if we start with classifying zoo animals as humans If we can start declassifying humans as zoo animals Everybody can just be in the best con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Zarifa sujeta esa disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en, nobody vote. Okay. Let me say this, because I'm already in trouble with the new mayor, because I called him Uncle Tom at the top of the shop.

Where the hippos vaccinated? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, because that's probably why they're like that. Hippo, man. It says here that more than 80 hippos previously owned by Columbia and drug lord, Pablo Escobar have a unique distinction in US law,

which first of all, US.S. law is covering everything from the U.K. all the way over to Columbia. They are the first non-human creatures to be legally considered people. The U.S. District Court of the Southern District of Ohio recognized the late Escobar's infamous cocaine hippos as legal people for the first time in the United States. The ruling on October 15th came the same day the animal legal defense fund filed an application on behalf of the hippo plaintiffs. The animal legal defense fund. In Colombia intended to stop the county's government from killing the animals.

Oh, so this is an act after the term. They have to be nominated. They have to be nominated. And make liable. The hippos are descendants of four illegally imported hippos from Escobar. They were set free after his death in 1993. Since then the hippos have increased their numbers to more than 80. Well, they fucking and maybe give them condoms.

I thought it was slang like about people like how they say like mules that carried. Yeah, no, these are actually cocaine. That's interesting. I'm like coyote in my Co. It's a don't hit more people than shorts. Exactly. Yeah, it hit like the most dangerous animal is hanging out around Hippos. I feel like they got to they can't get you with their hands. You got to get close to the mouth. They run real Oh, no, they're fast. Oh, yeah, they real. No, it's hungry hungry. I'm gonna get up on you. It's like hungry hungry hit that before we move on to Yes, how many hippos did people 500 to three people that hippos kill beer It's that man, but you know that's 500 to 3,000 Silly people who don't know not to be around hippos. Yeah. Oh, yeah

They got a game called hungry hunger hippo. There's no reason for you to be around one in real life go to Hasbro, baby Go to Walmart get your Hasbro game hungry, they still running all look like little white marbles. Oh, if and I'm not even against the hippos fucking you up because I'm saying if I was a hippo and I saw Jessica from, you know, Boko Ratton taking a picture of me while I'm trying to eat. I'm also going to stop the bitch out. Stop. And I think on TV, they don't look as threatening as other animals. Yeah, you know, not to go by alligator.

Right. Well, what does a hippo look like? They look, they definitely only they smiling. I feel like they look kind of cute. They are doing this thing. Y'all never see that. to do that big teeth. They got putt when they yawn you see how big their mouths get you see all these missing teeth. Every person I know that has teeth missing in a mouth. You're not one of them. Dangerous.

Right. Yeah. I got. My shit. You're teeth came out for a reason. Okay. He ain't got teeth in the middle bitch because he the left of the the time of family Virginia, okay, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right Subway worker who was posted, who posted a shocking YouTube video of himself. I don't know why people post shit and then a surprise that they get fired. Trying to get like, he's a fucking fire from subway. No, oh subway the restaurant or like the New York subway. No, no, let's not say the restaurant. Okay, fresh. Let's say subway, the fast food joint you go to to get right. Never let's put restaurant behind subway hands that way right right.

They got too much shit going on and oh my God. He decorated the toilet with with food. Do we have a picture of the toilet that he decorated with salami and this he's an artist right honey and the sandwich artists and and all those Peppers on the floor just wasting the peps. Yeah, that must have been he must have knew that was his last day That's not something you do he walked on the food. Oh, of course not you can't clock it It's like I would have been his manager and I would have been on Tik Tok and I'd have been like hey Somebody talked to leave Roy Rook telling the check clock out. He's done

He's done and see how many of those peppers you can save. They didn't have no toilet paper to lace the whole thing. Unfortunately, the worker made a plethora of plethora of videos of himself playing with subway food before he was left go. How many videos do you have to make before subway let you go? He has a nice body. How many times have he called you? Oh, you weren't about the body. How many times have he put the food back, though? Honey. Yeah, like I said, honey, you know what? If I live within a five mile radius of that place,

I would have just said, I got food poisoning and I wanna know why. There it is. Letigious. This is an opportunity for litigation and that is, that's what people should be thinking about. Is how do I sue these big companies? That's what he's probably doing. He's just giving us an in to sue.

He is a saint. This guy is a money saint. I wanted to take this Nicole. How much time do we have? We are at 30. We're at 30 minutes. We still have another 40 minutes? Yeah. Yes. Why aren't you saying what the comments are on Nicole?

The other bad? No, they're all great. We have a lot about Kim Kardashian. Can we talk about that a little bit, Nicole, please? Before we go on to the next thing? Sure. We have, Jacelle is the top super model of this time. Yes!

Whoever said that. Who the fuck is Jacelle? I can't. No, no, he's doing that. He's doing that. he's doing that. Oh, and Gisele gave up her career I'm not mistaken, which I thought was a bad move. It's always a bad move or Tom Brady a house. Why you gonna Give up for love. Let me tell you something. I do everybody needs to stop working if you can find you someone who will Support your lifestyle stop working decorate your house. You definitely watch Cable. She was still in her prime. Just that was still in her prime.

Even with two, she was, no she wasn't. She wasn't. She popped in her prime. She looked worse than that goop chick. What's the other chick? Winnith Baldrow and just that one the same category. What need ask like slew footed ass chicks? What are you talking about?

Dang, I know. Just that one with the, uh, with a backdrop. She the pretty shallow. How would a backdrop? She said shallow. Hello, how? What else have you know her from? Everything else you turned off?

Shakes. You better show good. Look at that bitch. Thresh, you got to pitch on her after the babies. That's how we should be against that. Come on, Yamanika, we should be against it. Why am I against it? She, she's, she's fit.

She's like, she's a 1980s version of whatever good used to look like. Listen, I'm all about big girl empowerment, but I'm not gonna knock a thin girl that looks good. And that, listen, two babies, she popped out, come on. Why is that the door to next to her? That kid is black as hell. That's not Tom Brady's kid.

That's not Tom Brady's kid. Fucking Tom Brady's kid. That's not Tom Brady's kid. I don't blame Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That's not Tom Brady's kids. That You want to see me in that two P's honey and then you tell me who you think is still the top me of Jacelle I give Jacelle a plop she is one of the top my who else My old but are they bigger than Kim anyway keep going. Let me I like Jacelle You have any comments about how I like anything about Jace

Like everybody and she said The Patriots lost one time, which is like my husband cannot throw the ball and catch it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that was pretty dope. Yeah, she brought her, she brought her, she brought her, she brought her, she brought her, man. And of course, that's why she honed to this little black girl that she think is hers.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Who's a little black girl? Her niece, that's it. And she's the inner picture with a child's of ballers. I, yeah, but you know, whenever a white woman honed the black kids hand, is either she adopted them or she taken them a CVS and rob them off in

Laws and I don't know. I don't know. She The little black girl look like she just found the day she in the will She does look like Nicole, what else we got let's Nicole have her moments. We need to hear from Nicole. I've been no her name. No, no, no, no, no. Because Nicole is talking to people in reality. We're in a bubble here.

We're in a bubble. You know, listening to you and this Kim Kardashian train. What else? What else we got Nicole? Yeah, they said Kim's the top reality star, not best supermodel. Thank you. That's right.

All right. There's someone popping off in the comments. They sent like 10 messages. I love them. I'm gonna pop off. Even if they pop it off against me, tell me I stand with them. I stand with the pop off. I'm so glad that you found a car. I stand with you. I stand because you know what it is. Kim Kardashian is not a model. I stand with you. You know what? You know, here's the thing and's no, and I've lightened up over the years on Kim Kardashian. I really have lightened up. What I will tell you is it is with, I tried, because I think an insult on Kim is also an insult on people, regular people who are not

necessarily an entertainment who kind of look at Kim Kardashian have been a part of her life. Women live vicariously through Kim and all these real housewives true and they get to see this opulence that they never get to see and then they start to glamorize them and all these kind of ways. And I want to tell regular as women, your life is better than them. Trust me because a lot of them go home and they cry and they ain't got nobody, they lonely. This business don't let this business fool you. But, the if America was not as pedestrian as it is, Kim Kardashian would not be,

because let me tell you what they're not doing over in the UK. You don't think they got a Kim Kardashian over in the UK? Of course they did. They did. Right. But they ain't, but guess what, they're not gonna let them bip and bop over in the UK. Of course they did. They did. Right. But they ain't, but guess what? They're not gonna let them bip and bop all over the place. But the UK is a tiny place.

It's like Pennsylvania. I mean, you know, 80 million people. I, it's not, it's not, is it, is it? Am I all playing in Earth? I'm just bigger than all of you. I'm just bigger than all of you. I'm just bigger than all of you. And whatever I do.

All of you combined is like the size of America like the UK is a Tiny little place with we are a 200 year old With pie and country like 7.22 sorry about them Look, it's tiny California is like two three times 67 million. Yes, seven million who cares what they think like they don't even matter anymore. This is mad. The funniest thing on the planet is like, their whole monarchy is about to collapse

because they forgot to get on Instagram. Fuck them. Fuck them. That is shit either. We literally forgot to get on Instagram. I do, I do love things. I do love things. I do love tomorrow.

I do love to get hurt. No, get hurt. I hate signing on Mason. Listen, they're about to collapse because cousins keep fucking cousins who turn in the nephews who are nephews. What are they all doing? That's why they about to collapse.

It don't matter why they all cleft mouth didn't slew footed, etc. Because they're all German incest babies, but that's just the regency. That's just the royal family. It don't matter if it's them or how the parents are. I can't wait for Sherlock Holmes to come up with this. I love the parents.

I can't wait for Sherlock Holmes to come up with this. I can't wait for Pippa Pig or who else? I can't wait for P Holmes to come love them stairs and read you the right act I can't wait for Pippa Pig or whoever the fuck else is from who else is a celebrity's over there I can't wait for Idris over to drop his American accent and tell you what time it is I can't wait for the Queen Was the nigga that just died? Prince Philip United States is awesome. Yeah, can you throw a Nicole please? Can you throw a picture of Prince Philip? I want to see how long this nigga lived on earth. He looks like a science project and you get ready. Companies people they live.

They did Prince Phillips was so old. Look at this nigga. He was driving himself to the grave. And you try to comfort him. Not I said the kick. This is a good thing. I'm not going to be a kid. I said the kick this nigga was dead in the car. And these are the people you trying to. I was born in 60's. Like an

ego who has a sleep slept in 10 days. He was amazing and Polter guy. He was for whatever it's worth. When he tell you. I just tell you. I'm the crib said come and do a 14. He's easy. He's just still look good. His eyeballs have had strokes. I heard. I heard he was long and sick. Honey, I believe it. I believe it. I heard. They said they had to poke a hole in that casket, honey. Blah! Yes. Bella. Rig or mortis.

And let me tell you what, we're kind of bad motherfuckin' this guy is. Yes. He died the same day DMX died. Like he, like nigga, you had more thousand years to die. You decided to die the day DMX died? Say we're rapping.

For real? That's why he like that gangster I said that's why I Remember Prick Got it Yeah Yeah

He looks like one of the Skier Crows No, remember the Eagles that was Singing now y'all might not get this because I don't know how many black people watch this y'all might have seen the Wizard of Oz But if you wait and you watch the Wizard of Oz, please go tonight, go with the wins. And there's a song that Michael Jackson sings, you can't win and you can't break even and you can't get out the game. And there's crows behind him. I'll kill you.

Nicole, please pull up a pro from a little with And he don't care he got spit all the red this is what I'm saying They try to act like they better than us right the nigga got spit on one of his teeth look like they bought the fly out of his mouth They yellow shit, and what the fuck is he smiling? What could make this nigga? What could he be smiling at? Not to memorabilia. You can't win. You can't break even. You just to get out the game. People keep saying things are gonna change, but they're looking like they're staying the same.

You can't win. Get over yourself. Because you only got yourself to play. You can't win. Oh, no, you don't know what we're gonna do. Oh, you don't know the way he definitely know the way it's stop drinking all that water shit You know how to do it right. I gotta yeah if he has to break into home Later when I think of home Yes, bitch and that's what Kim Kardashian You that bitch need to click her heels three times and take her her ass home. But if we're gonna talk about the British market,

we have to talk about the fact that they are the original human traffickers. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Are you watching Queen? Or whatever was the motto? Oh, it's not that. It's not that.

It's really, I'm finding out about how crooked Canada is. As a British province. And then, yes, and how they made all these native, like the actual indigenous people can disappear. And all the children keep saying that they saw the queen. Yeah, that the queen was there when they was disappearing the children, they put them in special schools and then they were, and we're finding,

it's not like this stuff is just made up. We're finding mass graves of like indigenous children in Canada. Oh yeah. And this is all ties up to the British Marquis and then you got your Epstein, then you got your little, the Prince is all ties up to the British Marquis and then you got your Epstein then you got your little the prince Andrew and all that T they are a there is a dark energy

Magic cult the your bar plays just step down because of the Epstein allegation like yes all that T and they're trying to shut it down They're trying to shut down the prince Andrew shit on the planet. That was a hell of a hell How do you feel about how do you feel about human trafficking? I'm gonna tell you something right now I don't have the power. Yes. So go against them. Of course. Do you understand?

Listen, right now, I'm Rumpel Stillskins first victim. You hear me? Talk about it. If I have a child, I'ma say I had to guess his name. You understand? Because I'm not doing it. Are you with my kid? Here you go

I heard you looking for me bitch. Here he go I'm not at the edge. No listen when I was in my 20s. I'd fight for justice Where I am right now honey take all the kids Dane's wrong yet. That's right. They just appear left and right, honey. Yeah. I am for alert. I turn it off. Silent. Because if you can make, if you can look at precious, young, innocent children who are the closest to God because they just got here and that we need to be protected, all costs

is gone. And go, I want to kill them. I want to kill them and make them disappear. What will you look at when you see my ass? Oh no, get the kids. Because as long as you get the kids, I'm okay. As soon as they turn their eyes off the kids, here they come looking at my fat ass.

No, no, no, no. There's a kid, two or three kids down the street. They trick or treat me. I can't buy. You would finger, I know I'm not saying finger them, but I mean. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the letter kid. I don't come for no nigga that don't brush his teeth on the regular because if he don't care about his oral hygiene he damn sure don't care about me. Mama, you know the British hat or just them can't have fluoride in the water. It's

about the water. They do. Is it about the water? It's no fluoride. Yeah. Mama, it's the it's the Scooby-Doo intro every time a British chef smiles. The bats. Weird. I kind of know something about it being over there. There's something about it being over there.

Like a lot of things. They don't have to like, press whiteen, and they don't do none of that. They're not like shit. I need to say something really quick. Because you know, you know, be whiteen, and I'll hold on one second in my life. Because I have to say something really quick.

I have to say something really quick. And Mayeron knows how superstitious I am. I have to clear the bats really quick. I have to clear bats. And so funny because I have a joke where I reference the Scooby Doo bats coming out of the thing and you said it. So that's such a weird thing.

I have to clear the bats. There's something going on, they're haunting me. What, we're in a bat play. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The fact that we both referenced that in this week and it's such an obscure reference, the bats are coming for me. I'm like, I don't remember that from school.

There are no bats. Who was the last person that referenced the opening credits of Scooby Doo? It's just us, but that's normal that you and I know too well. No, you think so? No, I never heard nobody talk about the over. I know what you're talking about. I know why I referenced that question in a week. In a week. That's what I'm saying. Scooby-Doo-Bee-Doo, well you, we gotta work for you now. That's a psychics shit. Maybe you want to be a superhero though. It's

like them kind of back. That's two. Oh my god. I should let a bat like your titties Yeah, it would be my hair. I would just be running around I can people out. Are there even bats in New York? Yeah, they got COVID. Yeah We also have that's that's how it came here Nicole does anybody else want to have their words heard before we move into something else It's all related to Kim Kardashian. So maybe I'm wicked. Yeah, I I'm about wanting to fuck her. I don't know. First, let me just say this. I I knew I wasn't I want to thank the audience because I thought I was crazy. I said no, no, no, no, this Kim Kardashian thing. He's really going there and Did I miss a decade?

Yeah, you know what I mean? that she ain't think he's really going there. And did I miss a decade? You know what I mean? You know what TV one says, Mr. Day miss a lot. It's TV one still on. So maybe I had missed. It's not saying. Maybe I still miss.

It's out TV now. Is that what? Bounce. But it's just how you know unique as all TV. First of all, why don't you know what the fuck TV one is? Is it one around? I know what it is, is it? I know what it is, right?

I know what it is, right? I'm sorry, I'm wrong. I'm going to be, is it? I'm going to come and say that, girl. I'm sorry, I'm wrong. I'm, I'm, I'm talking about New York one. Yes, yes, yes. I know just what you're talking about. That's why I had to cover you. I'm sorry. I think it's right.

Okay. Because I was doing our one. And I was wrong. My bad. All our spectrum team. No, no, no, no, I have to do your one. I just put it that out to the party. I'm, I'm not going to go my bad for you because you and I, we definitely got to

talk about our friendship after this. Well, I, I get it, I get it. Right it right ladies and gentlemen JFK was at Harlem Shake last night. Junior right? Well, think down it. She's be I get down Now this is what I want to do. I have a very fun segment for everyone and I would love the audience to play along at home as well My vibe is always when I come in and I guess for people who I adore and who are friends of mine, is not to fuck up their podcast.

So I like to do fun things so that it doesn't have to be about my opinions and what I think, because I may not be on board or on brand with a lot of your opinions and what you, I just wanna have fun. So let's have fun. Thoughtful as fuck. One of the amazing things that happened to me recently

is that I went on a podcast with Naomi Apparachin and I'm sorry, what is it? It's just Ek Paragon. That's what I said. I know. Oh. Yeah. And Megan Galey and they have amazing podcasts about lifetime.

And my team forgot to tell me that I was supposed to actually watch the movie that they were going to discuss a movie. I thought I was just there for jazz. And I said, but I don't have to watch the movie to tell you what this movie is all about. That's true. And I got almost exactly what the movie was about just by the title. So what I wanted to do is I wanted to play that game with you guys. That's right.

So I'm going to tell you a title of a lifetime movie. You are going to tell me what happens. And then I am going to read if you're correct. It's a little bit about almost like our previous segment with the headlines. But I actually watched these movies in lieu of doing hormone replacement therapy. I'm just putting that out there. Let's start with uh... Maron. Yes.

The lifetime movie title is called from straight A's to XXX. Oh. Yeah. Oh, what is it? I imagine the the blonde daughter from family ties. I think Tina Yothers at some point. I yes. She started out with the best of a debt. She wanted to win. She wanted to get into an Ivy League school. This is before the college rigging. So she found herself. She found stimulants. She got into stimulants and she developed a habit. She was spinning out of control, she didn't know where to get more money for more stimulants, so then she started to do a little caming, she started to show a little titty, first it was just cleavage, then full nipple, and then she brazilian, and then she did that thing

that they do in penthouse, where they spread the lips and they have two fake nails, and they just frame the pussy with the two fake, am I, am I, do I have a limited exposure to straight porn? But either way, they really, they push the hood out, like a micro-painless, and then that's, and then eventually she was a, she, Sharia Law, female circumcision, she, from straight A's to X, X, thank you JFK, not understanding what I meant when I said, Mayron.

Ooh, I'm sorry. A college student indoors. Hey, we're bullying. And even death threats, when it is revealed, not the neon girl. Bitch, she's dressed for a gay pride parade. When it's revealed that she is chosen to become a porn star under a pseudonym to pay off her sizable tuition expenses. Girl, if you don't just let them

to just chase you for the next 20 years, stood alone. Well, I mean, like, and of course, we also have to know about the relationship. Student loans. She's trying to piss off. She looks like someone who's trying to piss over dead. It's not just student loans.

Do you know what I mean? Nobody cares about sociology that much. Am I crazy? No, that's part of her wanted to be a porn stuff. Absolutely. Tell it. Definitely was like, oh, how am I paying for this? Yeah.

Oh, no. Yeah, porn. Yeah. you could have did door dash or something nobody just contours their face Yeah, let these kids be porn star. Yes, Nicole. I'm a song that we have now bare feet Disgusting show and then we'll go into the patreon section for like 10 to 20. Yeah, from straight A's to triple X. And they leave nothing to the imagination lifetime. But this is again, we're talking about like how the American media consumer, entertainment consumer has been made more stupid over time. And it allows, it leaves a door wide open for, you know,

movie titles that just tell you the plot real quick. And Kim Kardashian coming out there and like being like, oh, I'm a spokeswoman. I'm a spokeswoman for feminism and female advance. Meanwhile, it's like, you're, you know, you. And if Kim hadn't happened, we wouldn't have had drum. There's zero. Literally, she was a harbinger of like, deac of a, the end, like IQ entropy in this country that left a window open for Kim Kodashian rose on the backs of Niggas. And I'm expiring this to a thousand percent. Why

people were not bringing white niggas were not bringing her in. They were not doing that. And then all of a sudden they were like, because also what white people like to do is they like to get these African things of these features and non black packages, right? This is so like Adele's, she's an amazing voice, but she's not the number one R&B singer or whatever of all times, but she sounds black enough and she sings soulful, so we'll give her the credit. Kim Kardashian, she puts enough collagen in our ass and in our thighs and in our breasts, we can get a black woman without the skin.

You know, like so it's a lot of this, like kind of building up off of what other people are doing and then marketing it for the masses in a way that is palatable for them. So everything worked in her favor. Am I mad at that? I'm not. Will I give her credit for things she hasn't done,

like calling her a supermodel? Absolutely. Shea. Shea. Here's the next. Here's the next, uh, lifetime title movie. Mm-hmm. Who, who, who you talking about? JFK.

No, this is, this is, this is JFK. Uh, I didn't say no in the lifetime. Yeah. Baby for sale. Baby for sale? Mm-hmm. It's about, uh, Asian baby just sale. Mm-hmm. It's about Asian baby just going to a band and Connecticut they basically cry

About how happy they are to get the baby the whole time until a two starts to grow at his top lip as they always do when you get those babies in the male and It's what I'm much is that baby in the mailbox exactly. you wait do you meet Asian babies? I don't eat it and I try Let me tell you something no no no hashtag stop agent hate the minute He said Asian baby I said it's going wrong And I don't know what's going on I started shopping on Amazon in my head because I was like oh this is Let me just not give any type of show us about it No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no They spend about, they spend about 90 minutes crying. Everybody dies at the end and Connecticut

from like drinking water with oil in it because they didn't know that that's what's happening over there, right? The apparent fracking. Blah, blah, blah. You know, they got a lawn, you know, it's, I don't know, it's born to shoot, everyone's wearing a blouse, the husband's wearing a blouse.

Yeah, it's wearing a blouse. All the shit is tacky, but it's this sort of like silk looking, you know off white fabric They want to be happy so bad a baby for sale baby for sale When a couple discovers that the baby girl they're trying to adopt is being auctioned off to the highest bidder They become part of a sting operation to bus the baby selling ring Which brings us to South Korea. Okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you know that the center of South, if Seoul is literally an American military base and that like there was a mass, literally we shipped over a ton of Korean babies to be indoctrinated into like Christian homes to be sort of raised in Christian homes in the United States. And there really was like a multi billion dollar business there.

Just the babies. Like just the babies. Just we we we moved a lot of Korean babies into Christian homes. Yeah. The whole thing was a little. One of the USA was Korean. We are dirty post Korean. We're born in the USA.

The song was about Korean babies. The song born in the USA was about Korean babies. What are you saying? That's. Let her. I'm not. No, I thought we were all just saying nonsense. Korean baby the song born in the USA was about Korean babies. What are you saying? Let her know. No, I thought we were all just saying nonsense. We say yeah, I was going there. Oh, so let me I'm also going to participate and do my own because I haven't seen me's I was blessed you know, just like I'm like fine to call to get these. Thank you. My love. They have no idea who Joe Scott is Come on. We do a poll. how many people listening know who Joe Scott is I'll even give you a hint living my life like this golden. Let's take a long walk outside the park if you can feel that in

I'll send you a virtual kiss now To my boy Marshall I'm a last-proc The last prostitute. The movie. Oh, okay. The last prostitute. All right. That's about, um, can I hear the title one more time? The last prostitute.

Oh, you know, like the last dragons. Yeah, that was about, um, it was about like the strip that it was that the police was shutting down. And it was this one, uh, prostitute who had ninja powers. Yeah. And every time the police would come, she would just throw down one of the bombs and disappear. So for years and years, she was able to sell pussy on that corner long after they thought they had the streets cleaned up. Yeah. And people would be like, oh my god. Here's a prostitute over there on the corner. And he'd be like, wait, don't worry. It's the last one.

So she's still out there. You are beautiful. And the new nice neighborhood. Like it's fully gentrified, but she's still out there. I love this work in title of Ghost Pussy. Almost just accurate. She's still out there. And I called this.

So the last prostitute, two teenage boys, Will Wheaton and David Kaufman escape from summer camp to find the woman Sonia Braga, they've heard so much about. Oh yeah, she ethnic Braga. Their minds are blown and they mess. Oh my God, but it's little horror on the prairie. That is, yeah, what is up with, okay.

Mama, I'm gonna do one, I'm gonna do one for you guys. All I've seen is that it's a deadly daycare. My title is the deadly daycare. Oh, shit. So there is a daycare in Vermont. Wow. That is run by an older retired couple named Stan and Martha. And how they discover that they want to be in the daycare business is there are two children died in a car crash. And they had to

take care of these children. They're grandchildren. and they didn't realize that they would have to spend their own money. So they decided to open up a daycare and get paid to take care of the children. Now, in the process, to make sure that they got more money, they brought in other children. And what would happen is Martha had a split personality.

And after 6 p.m., her split personality would come in and go on a murderous rage. So one day, one of the children, the parents didn't pick them up one time. And so she murdered the kid because she'd rather get rid of the kid than have the kids stay in the house. And then when the parent came to pick up the kid, she said, you were an hour late, so I murdered your kid. And they go, what? And then she murdered them. It was a punctuality.

Yes, for her. Yeah, it had to do with that. The first one. Yeah, the first one. The second murder, or the third murder, was one day, she had to warm up a bottle. You're killing it. In the microwave. One day, she had to warm up a bottle. You're killing it.

In the microwave. And when she went to check the temperature on the bottle, it was scolding hot. So she murdered the baby with a scolding hot. That's insane. That is the darkest thing I've ever heard in my life. She's like deadly, did you want me to do that? You don't have to feed the child boiling. You have to soften.

Geal burns on a baby. No, no, she didn't we not no, she just she burnt the baby with the thing. She didn't like squirt it all over. She got it from the end. So I like let's just all we know that's very British. The baby got it. Yeah. Sure.

So there have been some weird murders happening and the police decided that they wanted to investigate and Stan, who I forgot to tell you, was also mute and deaf. All he knew was he would do a head count every day of the children because he couldn't see them. They had to line up at the door and he would touch the top of their heads. He said he's deaf and mute.

Didn't say he was all blind. He's blind. He's also blind. Yeah, blind. I missed that point. He's blind. Okay, blind deaf. But he didn't know that's how to tell him.

All right, so he said, he has to, he plays little buddy Foufu with the kids. How many of them are left? And every day he goes to pop them on the head and he realizes it's one less and one less. So he's also thinking in his spirit, I think she's murdering these kids. So he tries to call the cops,

but he doesn't know how to get to the telephone. Or say anything if he were to get someone on the line. Or if they even picked up. He can't find the phone. He can't find the phone. So one day he gets... He writes a letter to one of the kids. And he hopes that the kid knows what he's talking about,

because he's never learned to read a write. And so how could he write? He writes, he writes, he writes, cops. And the kid goes and gets the phone to hand him and starts, takes his hand and presses 9-1-1 on the phone. And then Martha shows up and goes right before he hits the last one, goes, who are you calling? And then he doesn't hear Martha,

but he feels a vibration of her saying that. So he knows what she said. And so Stan says to himself, I hope you don't say the cops. And the kid goes, the cops. And then Martha takes the phone and she beats the kid to death with the phone. With the phone. Just don't even know what's going on. Stan, all he knows is he goes to

Bob the kids in the head to see the count He feel the count and the kid that picked up the phone is missing. Yeah, or it feels like a jello mold pineapple Kiwi Napple. Oh, Kiwi. I feel like I was just a little chump. Right, I'm going to salad, marshmallow. I love one.

So, truth. Excuse me, I'm almost done. I'm almost done. Uh-huh. So, one day when the children are, and the only reason why I stand understands what time it is because he feels the heat from the sun and he feels the cool from the moon He doesn't feel the cool from the moon and you can't people are listening We can't save it they feel the cool from the moon. Handicap people are listening. Mm-hmm.

We can't say that they feel the cool from the moon. You're gonna lose Bob. That's- Ho-show. Absolutely broken. Yeah, I won't judge. That's legitimately the most broken they got. You can feel the heat from setting the cool from the moon.

Do you feel the cool from the moon, Ellen? It's absolutely insane. It's insane. Well, if his senses are heightened, could you- Right! Why are you chunnet? You lose one sense of it every other time. Well, if his senses are heightened, right? Why are you trying to do this? You're a monster. You're right. Like, Spider-Man. Oh, he has a special...

He's here. I talked. So... He got... So... Stand with him in the evening. The week's over. To do a head count of the children. And he goes to feel, and there's no one there.

It's just heads. It there. It's just heads. It's just heads. And then he feels a head. And it's and he feels the bristles of the hair and he realizes that it's Martha. Martha has gotten down on the floor and let him tap her in the head. And Martha says, I'm going to kill you, Stan, but he can't hear it at all. At all. You understand the vibration. No, he, but he understood the vibration.

Right. So he, you know, he can't, so he can't see anything, but it's like, you know, you're in a dark room and then you can see like You can see like a white light So this white light leads him to the closet where his grandfather had left a gun years ago years ago And Martha Doesn't think that he's gonna get the gun. She doesn't think he can find it

And she just watches him fiddle faddle for the gun. And then she goes, you're looking for this? Is that a verb? Because you've gotten the gun. She's already gotten the gun. She's already got it named. She's gotten the gun. And she goes, San, this is deadly daycare. And then she goes to kill him. Stan goes and pulls out a gun. Oh, shit. Because he's mute. Because he's mute. So he didn't say anything.

He says I can lie to you for years. I can see. I can hear. I can speak. Martha. Pow. Wait a minute. But he didn't take action to save the kid.

He couldn't roll his cover. This is insane. So let me tell you what the movie was really about. I bet you I'm close. I bet you I'm close. If deadly daycare. Facing financial hardship. A young mother goes back to work.

With no one to watch her young daughter, she enrolls a child in daycare Mm-hmm after weeks of awkward behavior the mother begins to suspect her child May be being mistreated and sets about investigating her suspicions Mm-hmm, and then that comes in Martha and Stan. No, I'm almost positive. That's not in there I'm I Do you know what I'm I'm not questioning your, your integrity right now, but I'm almost positive that it doesn't say she, she investigates and then Martha and Stan. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, but they are. They don't go that way.

They forgot that part. Yeah. I don't think this, this synopsis then says, and then what Yamadika said about Martha and Stan and the fake mute, the fake handicap, faking handicap, the number of problematic things you said from feeling the cool. Why is that problematic? It's a movie. I'm not saying anything about the handicap people.

You wanna make a movie about fake blind people feeling the cool of the moon? The cool of the moon. Is that what you're gonna do? Get canceled. From the cool of the moon? Call the cool of the moon. You can't get by the cool of the moon.

Cool of the moon, that. You don't think people's sensations are heightened when they lose a sense? And that's problematic, how? You're telling me that a person, a human prison who has absolutely no experience of the outside world is like the moon is there and I know because of how it. Let me tell you how much I am a support for people

who have disabilities and handicap. All right. T.I.I.I.I. I made him a daycare owner, a business man. I don't know. Which is also a great thing. Why is that unsafe? That's, you're gonna get canceled for less. Because I can't do it.

Because I imagine that the act of watching children requires the person to be able to watch it. Oh, hi. That's what Martha said. That's what Martha said. I'm not even a baby. Absolutely. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not. Oh, hi. That's what mother's name. That's what mother's name. Yeah, I absolutely. No, I'm not even a baby.

I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby.

I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby.

I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even a baby. I'm not even Was it? No, that's it's Kelly, that's it, Boston. You can, you can be blind. I'll give my child to a blind person right away. Do you have the credentials? That's all I need. What do you mean, credential?

Yeah, you have to, you have to be licensed and all that. They're not, they're not a Sasha, they're a, you could be a daycare if you want to be a daycare. They're double blind. Yeah, they're double blind. I, I, I, I, are you seriously making this about Matt Murdock? What? Wait a minute. He said, there's a Blind. I am. Are you seriously making this about Matt Murdock? What?

Wait a minute. He said there's a ribbon in the sky. Ribbon in the sky. Ribbon in the sky. Ribbon in the sky for a one, two, three, four. Four, five, six, seven heads of little children that I'm watching. Wait, there's one that's missing. Oh, another one is gone. Guess what I can see. Guess what you came for me. Guess what I kill you, Martha. Oh, Stevie Wonder. That's amazing. That is amazing.

It is possible for three blind mice to become a country bumpkin, isn't it? Yeah. And four blind mice will never be four white horses such folly doll and fill it in. Of course, it's possible for the world is full of zanies and fools. The world is full of zanies and fools. That I think we can all agree on. That's true. You've been crying.

No, well laughing. That's possible. Mostfully crying. The world is full of zany's. Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's now time for us to say goodbye to the people who don't pay any type of money to participate. Under percent.

And how dare you, let me tell you something, if you thought this hour was nuts nuts if you don't get on that Patreon right now cancel it next week when Bobby back Pay for the next 20 minutes You better do a pay-per-view do a bit mouth Come on, we better do 20 more minutes of shenanigans. It's gonna get any more even more inappropriate more people gonna get canceled That's true people go you can And I'll be back next week bigger for my job in the public

Are you having the weeks are you doing this just this week? Okay, and I had a good time with all the people that listen for pay and for free And we do appreciate you Bobby will be back next week It was awesome. What an amazing time. We do have to say goodbye to the poor folks now. Get you. It's so rough. I know it's not broken. It's real. Money makes the world go around.

We just talked about Kim Kardashian having enough money to be called a supermodel. The woman is 4 foot 11 and shaped like a potato. And somehow she's a supermodel. But now for a pair, but yeah. Everyone else, let's get into it. TTT. We can do plugs too before we get into it.

Let's plug where we're going to be. Hey, everybody. It's Marshall Branden. Y'all check me out on marsherbranden.com at Marshall Branden's story on Instagram. I'll be at the funny bone Wednesday and then all other places around the country. But you can find out on my site just go on there.

Yes. I will be in my bedroom eating on my stomach like a seal and playing Amazon's new world despite its buggyness and broken economy. If you want to find me on stage, you're just going to have to work for it because I don't do that. I don't just give it away. Do you know what I mean? I'm not some kind of, uh, to a penny, you know, uh, comedy stage fluszy, you know. So if you want to find me, you have to look for me with your hands. I feel the cool of the moon. I'm on, I'm Miran X.

I'm on social platforms. I'm the Miran on Instagram. I don't use social media. I don't believe in it. Revolution. Revolution. Nobody believes in it. Not even the people using it.

I love that. I'm not the only thing. I'm, I'm a lot. I'm Googleable. It James, Felton and Keith. That's all my social media is that. I'm on line. I'm Googleable at James and Felton and Keith. That's on my social media is that I'm not doing anything. Well, actually, yeah, I am giving a speech at the University of Miami in two weeks, but I don't think any of these listeners can afford to be there.

Wow. That was a hard... Wow. Yeah, and I'll be at the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce conference that week after. No, I'm by. I'm sort of like a terrorist. I get to have everybody.

I'm out. Anybody I can bench press, you're probably. Yeah. Yeah. I live in the other. No, no, no, it's another man who likes, I'm hairless and little. No, no, I don't talk about I'm bisexual.

No, no, no, but you should look like a girl. I don't really care how you pee as long as you make sense. He's been married to everybody. He's been engaged to everybody. I've been married a lot. Yeah. Yeah. I'm married Shut up to beautiful beautiful Andy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Andy up in Harlem other than that. I'll just be at home really Y'all been Florida and Illinois in the next three weeks, but doing Undisclosed things I'm on social media, but I don't usually post

He's beautiful feel free to follow me or say fuck you or something like that Yes, I'm gonna go where you can be here's where I'm gonna be and I post You mean about usually posts? He's beautiful. Feel free to follow me or say fuck you or something like that. Yes. Y'all mean to be where you gonna be? Here's where I'm gonna be. And I post all the time and I'm here. Please, if you are in Connecticut, I will be at Comics Roadhouse, Comics Roadhouse, fourth through the sixth, that means one show Thursday,

one show Friday, two shows Saturday, Thursday I'm there APM,, I'm there APM, Friday, I'm there APM, Saturday, I have a six, and I believe a eight or nine show. Go get the tickets right now at Comics Roadhouse and Connecticut. Also, it's New York comedy festival time. I'm gonna bunch of shows, but never mind who else I'm participating with. I am doing my own hour. Here at the fat black pussycat lounge November the 11th, which is next Thursday at 7 p.m. I am doing an hour. If you want to get tickets, go to com.com and get your tickets to see me do one hour. It's going to be just a blast and so much fun. And I look forward to seeing you guys. Let's go.

Yeah, at the there. And let's just have fun and have a good time and laugh and kiki with one another. Thank you to everybody who are regular listeners. Now we will do a little something for our Patreon people who support Bobby in such a way that is needed in this time when comedians really need your support. Are we doing this?

Yes. Okay. Here's a trivia. All in the family was a sitcom in the 70s. Jefferson's. You're absolutely correct. Thank you. Good night.

What was the question? What was the basic off of it? What was the black version of? What? What was this? Yes, spin off of all in a family. You should have asked time. Yeah, because our culture used to get in arguments with George Jefferson on the show on all of the time. All the time. Do me a favor my love. Yes, you're in my camera light. We've had an amazing time. Thank you guys so much. Be well. God bless. We love you. Love you, bye. He's out. Oh my god. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a shopper.

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Shitty jobs. you