Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Just Shuuut Uuuuuup

Episode Date: July 2, 2012

Comedians Geno Bisconte and Luis J Gomez join the crew. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de I'm nominated for Madrid. It's my thing give a shirt and a hat It's a buddy. Go ahead stupid

Hey, buddy, it's Gina Biscanti and you're listening to Robert Kelly. She you know what dude on riot cast dot com Hey, everybody it's Dan Soder monster voice from the you know what dude podcast Bobby is gonna be live the 13th of July Bobby's gonna be in Musket Fest Cafe. That sounds made up. It's in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, whether the 19th, 20th and 21st. Viva Las Vegas, Bobby's gonna be at the Empire Comedy at the Parasotaal. So go check that out. Rhode Island, you got some great strip clubs. Well, you know what else you got? Eight, on August 16th, Bobby's gonna be at the comedy connection. Go check it out. One show only. Get your tickets.

It's gonna be a bloodbath. I don't even know if that's not a proper way to actually promote a comedy show. And 18th August, Wilbur Theater, bean town, the prodigal son, or one of the prodigal sons returns. One show only. So get tickets now before it sells out

and you guys end up getting in fights with your sweatpants and your Celtics hoodies. Fuck yo, there's fucking sweatpants kid. Fucking warm up pants and sweatpants are the same fucking thing and fuck yo, go bean time. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton, this is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things.

This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? This is Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? What's up? This is another episode of You know what dude!

That's the best I've ever heard you do it. Podcasts. Fuck, are you cackling for your rounded shoulder twat? Just a solid outfit. Well, that's Kelly Fistuka, sexy Kelly I'm calling it from now on. No, why would you not want that she looks great look at her today? Excuse me. Can you uncurl you a fucking you like I don't have Fucked

She's got 96-year-old lady posture Kelly's got like it looks like she's wearing a tank top But oh she's wearing like shoulder pads that they wore in the 80s She's got power suit shoulders. I'm a woman on the go. I don't take no for an answer. Bro, show it is. Come on. Kelly, Kelly, you look cute. You really do. From the waist down. Boom. I would fucking do some savage stuff. But here, put the shoulders back a little cal. Stand up straight. Like get a poke on your head. Yeah, well, don't put your fucking shoes on. You don't do a war on it don't be a slot if you can tell by that raspy

fucking I smoke too much weed and don't drink water at all voice Lewis the gay go man how's going out there with all the boys the boys that listen to the podcast that was the last thing a gay dude who want to hear in the morning Thanks for the hot steamy socks last And as you can tell that's monster voice Hello aka the fucking second man in control Hello, wow I'm the copilot that loses a shit if the pilot fucking has a hard attack

No, you really do fucking panic bro. What can I say you I'm the copilot that loses a shit if the pilot fucking has a hard attack You really do fucking panic, bro. What can I say you? You a fucking the best on the show you just flown as soon as I got to do something I go dad take the show over Hey everybody God you fucking turn it a Bobhart. Well, thank you. Well, he's kind of a legend. Nice. You fucking wrong example.

Jolus nailed it with the other guy from Major League that does the commentary. When Bob Eukert, the guy that's with Bob Eukert and Major League, he stops doing it. Oh, that reference felt fucking fine. I'm glad to save me from my shitty Bob Newhart. Damn, we bailed in. We bailed together. Damn, I'm gonna sneeze.

Don't sneeze. Dude, I thought, uh, I hear. We have, of course, we have five o'clock shadow, Phil. Yeah. Hey, what's up, yes? I have my knees aren't dirty. They're just hairy Phil this got suckers hairy dude Phil. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do I have a lot of hair? You look who's that guy who that other guy who has

Who's the actor that just has the fucking fight just thick hair? Just black thick hair. What was he and that's not gonna work? Antonio work. Oh, and Darryl and Tony O'Bandera. No, not that guy. You're Harry or the that guy? What? Antonio O'Bandera, isn't that Harry? He's a simple movie character. I got a shirt on.

The guy that's in Mr. Deeds, the head dickhead and Mr. Deeds. Oh, what's his name? Oh, Johnson, too. No, no, he got a dickhead. The dad from American Pie. No, the door was die from American pie. No, it was the best in Gene Levi Harry. He's pretty no. She said Eugene Lee. I was correcting her. It's the guy He was John to sorrow and mr. Deeds was the shitty one snick a snick. Yeah, he would just show up I'm very sneaky. I'm very snick. I'm looking up with the guy snick a snick. Thank you

Thank I took your look up abilities away from you Nothing it would have helped because you'd fucking just stare at me going John's it's her. I don't know I froze No, it's not mr. Deeds. That's the movie Kelly. What it's not mr. Deeds And we got one of my fucking pals. Right? Long time, yeah. Yeah, we've been friends for a long time and you hooked me up. Actually, let's get this fucking out.

Let's get it out. You hooked me up with Alan. I did. And then the bloodline, like fucking prometheus. Fucking winning all of those fucking podcasts. It's like a green room in there. It doesn't change in everybody. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't change in.

Yeah, I mean, it is. Bring a mental health to the comedy scene. I mean, you really did. I was really in a fucking tough jam. I got into a situation in my life where I was, I just, you know, I wasn't drinking. I wasn't using drug, but I was dry drunk. Sure.

I was acting out sexually, and I was about to lose my whole life. As I know it today, and I reached out to lose my whole life as I know it today and I reached out and you fucking gave me I went to therapy with this other guy who was a dickhead with a bow tie and two fucking dangerous dogs Seriously my therapist before Alan bald guy rich Really high-end analyst to some shit? Analyst analyst analyst Was this a sitcom? I don't know analyst I said analyst sorry I tried to do some

writing before the that's what we do here Dennis but he's dead listen I got real I so Dennis one yeah So Yeah, I had this therapist he was bald bow tie every day suspenders and he He had these two dogs the one of those fucking Chinese Shots hugs. No Chinese dangerous dogs. Jinx. No

Sharpies shitsu hugs no Chinese dangerous dogs jinx no no shop pay hang on one second Lewis what I'm here I want you to know I'm here right now we don't know I bring unadulterated racism sexism and the love of dick to you know what you're not damn that's not gonna wait on your know what you're talking about. Bam! That's what I'm gonna write on your fucking table. You're no catchphrasing. No, fuck yeah, you're not getting a fucking t-shirt here. Unadulterated racism, sexism, and love of dick.

I'm writing that on your table. No, you're not. There's no, listen, you can't write shit on the table. Write that on your podcast table. Oh, wait, that's your fucking liver. Oh! Welcome back to Snaps, we're so glad. Right that on your podcast table. Oh wait, that's your fucking liver room Welcome back to snap It's my girlfriend's living room table Oh, snap

I ain't got jokes. I got problem Don't threaten me with a good song So yeah, you I had this he had this fucking whatever the fucking dog you said I don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you don't know And he would sit there and go stop stop stop stop and apparently the fucking dog doesn't listen because he kept having to say stop And I'd be sitting there frozen in my chair and then he's okay It's okay. He's not good and then he'd come over to me And I would just freeze yeah, and I'm petrified that he's gonna just bite me. Yeah, you saw your half hour special I don't even know what that means. I don't even take that. This is just lose track.

Because of all the gays that I was trying to attack back. But every bag in this room just held their laughter in and they all want to have it then. I don't know because they fear you. Don't say, what the fuck am I? What did you go? Did you go to prison in the jail? Who are you? What are you? Where did you go? Did you go to prison in the future? Who are you? You lost all social tax.

That beer. It's like, I'm not afraid of nothing. You got three dick tattoos. I suck three dicks to get out of fucking jail, man. Listen, dude, you got to relax. I'm sorry. I can racism. Sorry.

He's into it. First of all, we've discussed this before. I'm Puerto Rican. I'm allowed to be as racist as I want. But you're not really Puerto Rican with those eyebrows. You have Asian in you. Those eyebrows are dying as we speak. You have 98-year-old Japanese man eyebrows. You really do. You look like a Japanese henchman. You look like the guy that I get pissed off of when I get trapped behind him on the stairs because he's fucking a hundred coming out Gallagher. That's what they call a Frusion Lewis And it worked and I helped you with it listen Lewis

Easy on the race and my half hour special very funny by the way mom get your hilarious What do you gotta make it real hey listen first? I can't you take it for one listen. I don't like you trying to macho up because don't fucking macho Called ball bus't like you trying to macho up because don't fucking macho call ball bus stand like you What is this you know what do you know a girl? Fuck is this broad All right, I'm a suck dick, but I'm a guy Fuck off

So I'm in this fucking therapist and I'm petrified. I'm fucking petrified most days in here because of this fucking Exactly that right there How do you do You can you can do a fucking dog my therapist dog But you can't do you know what did you know what did dude? That's it! You know what, dude? You know what, dude? Damn, it's got it, dude. Damn, it's got it, dude. I hope someday somebody listen to this actually gets that's addictive, dude.

But they don't realize they have headphones on and everything and everybody's just looking at them, like, what the fuck are you talking about? I went to this guy, and this is why I left this guy. He actually said to me one day. He goes You know, um, I was at Let me make sure I get this right. I was at a New Year's Eve. I was out with my wife and we're getting a dinner at a fancy restaurant and

The waiter spilled a water on me. What did he do? Bobby? Instead of getting mad, instead of getting, you know, flipping out, I mean, I was upset. I was dressed nice. It was, you know, nice netted with my wife. And here we are at this fancy restaurant. And instead of getting mad, I said, he said, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's okay, it's okay. But that does come with a free bottle of champagne.

I think I was like, of course, sir, yes. And you know what that guy did? That guy went back into the hutch. That's it. That fucking cock sucker. It's 61. I'm still drunk from last night. They fucking. You know what that guy did? Is that's coming out of this douchebag's pay? Yeah. Because you spill water on this fucking twat. And I look at dude, I'm not you. I'm the waiter. You fuck. Yeah. I'm the guy that has to go back and go guy wants a bottle of champagne Well, that's coming out of your fucking your money. You're paid for that. Hey Rory the two top at 47 I spent some water Dan Dan come back

Guys the guacamole Come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, Jesus Christ. Oh boy heavens to Betsy. That was not yes at all The only good thing about my job at the moment is that I've got a new boss and I kind of like, I kinda dig him. He's all right. You wanna suck his ass? Yeah. Oh, look at who I am. Just outside.

You wanna suck his- Yeah, we're gonna get- You just hold on, they look sassy. I got some fucking news from her. Oh shit. So anyways, I went to therapy. So funny. I gotta route this fucking-

Just go here, here, here, or anyway. Here's the thing, it's this fucking this goes here here or anyway here's the thing is this fucking show goes fuck yeah let's plan anything it just goes and I got to corral it back to you my friend because you came to me and when I said that I wanted to get another therapist and you know the one who said look I go to this guy that a lot of comics go to yeah and you gave me his number and now I've been going them for five years I I think. And those five years ago, dude. That's awesome. And maybe longer, maybe six.

Yeah, maybe six. I mean, as my friends and friends, can you shut that fan off, please? Because that's making a lot of noise. Sorry about that, paper. It's really funny. You'll be sitting there in the lobby and you don't know who's gonna come out of the door

and it's kind of funny. Sounds a lot better, right? Is that better? Jesus Christ, Phil, why don't you fucking say something? Yeah. You can just blame any, blame the only person. Can I talk to you or we need to like, tip, Oh, okay.

Oh, no. I said, can we talk now? I was trying to have a conversation. I was just like about Alan. Oh, yeah, yeah. About how it's so funny. I'm sorry, did I not listen to you? Yeah, yeah.

Apparently you need to fucking go see Alan. Yeah. Okay. No, but it's like your racist. I got it. I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with the racism. Go ahead.

No, it's like, you know, it's amazing because he really understands the comedy world. Like, you know, I've been, I was at, I've been a therapist before where they didn't understand what stand-up comedy really was. They try to make it very cliche. Like, you need attention. You didn't have I've been I was it I've been a therapist before where they didn't understand what stand-up comedy really was they try to make it very cliche like you need attention you didn't have a good father like it's none of that like textbook yeah Alan Alan yeah but it's not it's just very textbook it's not like you talk to Alan he knows who SDS he knows who all these people are

in our world like you don't have to explain that I don't know who SD is of course you don't My life said that's why he loves that that place But I'm just saying people in New York City. She books it. No, I know I'm kidding. I know I'm kidding too So yeah, he does he does get it, but here's a thing too on an he's There's something about him. He's fucked up. He's he's got issues. That's why he can you can sit there and I can relate to this guy He has fucking anger issues. He got fucking East Village with gangs. Yeah, you know, he's been through that like yeah, and It's just weird for me though because you because you don't know who you're gonna see

coming out of that fucking door, or who's listening. I always talk shit at the last five minutes, because I don't want you fucking cock suckers here in my hearing some shit about how I like the fucking, you know, my finger in my ass, and I'm sucking my own thumb. Did I say that? Did that come out?

Yeah, I saw Shapiro come out one time, and I was like, really, I gotta follow this. I don't like him. That's like a set of their clubs. Yeah, it's Shapiro come out one time and I was like really I got to follow this Yeah, yeah Shapiro come on once and then I had fucking these two fine. I go and I gave I don't know how goes a good luck Holy shit hang on one second guys All right, all right well. We had a little malfunction there some of the AC actually shut down because of something somebody did I'm not gonna fucking mention any names You threw the pillows up there didn't you know?

Put the pillows up there probably Dustin J.V. put it there. I'm gonna find it out You know Dustin has a buck knife Butterfly now give boat, baby. Strap to a fucking calf. It's a butterfly knife. Give me a give Dustin the opportunity to skin a Puerto Rican a lot of Jesus. Oh, we also. You're from Texas, right? Yes, sir.

And you're a fucking cowboy redneck. What are you? Just, I don't know. Or just Texas, you know what I mean? I want to get this out real quick too. You have your own show. Yes. I want people though in the middle here.

I do the advertising at the end too, but I want in the middle. Go tell them you show. Hick hop radio. And it's with a very another funny community. You know, I'm a big fan of Kyle grooms. He's black. Black dude. Yeah. Looks white. Lewis. You got anything to say about that? What? Well, I'm an apple. I'm not bad. Oh boy. I don't like that you went to fucking San Jose became more spooky Yeah, he didn't come back like Cholo

Did I am wearing long black socks to go to my knees? I look like he said don't be racist and then he said spooky. Yeah I can't say chick but he can say spit. That was awesome. I didn't say spick. I said spicky. That's cuter. That's adorable. Yeah. It's like a faggot. It's faggy.

I said it. It's niggie. Niggie. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. What the fuck? Like piggy.

Like a piggy. I like niggie. You look great. Thanks, thanks. Um, so Where's the therapist that because I actually need a therapist. Well, this is great thing to is that he doesn't work on a You know, he doesn't charge one flat fee like fuck you pay this he'll work with you Oh, he's sliding skill for sure. I used to payment CDs like when I was broke I would just because I I was dating this girl that worked at Columbia Records. Not your CDs.

No, no, no, no. What is the money? What's the money? Like Johnny Cash, but she worked for Columbia Records so I got all these free CDs and shit. And she just give me boxes and box sets and I'd pay him in CDs. I'd tell you this, he probably didn't want you

to tell people that because, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know. But people don't get enough. We're not saying his life. Kurt, let's crack some. Yeah, Owen. Dustin Triford said I know, people in good or no, we're not seeing his life. This is Cux, yeah. Oh, Dustin Trayford said I could pay you a seat. He should I could pay you with oranges.

Do you mind if I just give you a bunch of delicious ponte? I've got some awesome roller blades. I could suck your dick. Do you want to lay naked? Anyway, for your next guy to come in, and it will get harder, it'll be so fun. Oh, this is the game.

This is the game. Oh, what a cool thing. Oh my god. That was nice. That was beautiful. I think he's great. You'd love him. He'd love me to do that.

I need a therapist. He'll open you up quick. I can't believe you're going that seems so sell out for you Just seemed like No, but you know the bad boy mental But you know these guys are like that. I just Contract with Gennos. Yeah, I see a therapist. No, I needed to go for a while. Okay. I was just a bearing that pain deep My cheese mode now you're bearing it with my fucking alcohol

Maybe I'm bearing with a therapist and alcohol do I look like I'm drinking? This has fucking you know why you're not drinking because you fucking good time high buddy is in here Okay, so list your fucking algae pal your keychain to the fucking door of alcoholism You're fucking devil on your shoulder isn't here here. He's like, what's that? What's that, you fucking wanna get a beer? Fuck, my mouth is too, my mouth is perfect for a beer. That's why it opens his beer bottle. Dude, I can't do a draft.

Fucking my mouth can open up. Dude, I can't fucking, dude. I can't fucking eat regular sized cookies. I can't. Do you guys have any small, do you have any small, small load of doons? I'm a famous Amos. I was at Joe Liss house like randomly

and fucking Boston, me and Nate the ecology gig This is a great story. Yeah, it's dead again This is a fucking great story. I got this big dude. Don't ever first of all my rule is don't ever say this a great And it's not that great of a story. It's just a funny moment. It's not even a story. It's a moment I thought it was really funny because I know Joe and I know Lewis good. I fucking I gotta I would say Hey, there's a good story. All right, great story. I'm ready.

Ready. Yeah, like fucking do devil ants and the Hatfields. That was a great. Hold on hold on. Take to ready. It has to be a little bit. Fuck and great. I got this shit.

Holy shit. Hold on Robert. Take to take to ready. Yes. And this actually this made me laugh a little bit Me and the people listening can enjoy this yeah, we you know what my therapist wants to have no expectations You'll have everything you need okay, so let's not have expectations I wish everyone had that fucking look at life with me go dirty knuckles

Man eat that way of calling him a Spanish? Me and Nate did a college thing like right outside of Boston. Yeah. So Jolus was like a half an hour right away. So we're going to go hang out with him. So we did. And we were on his back deck drinking beers all fucking night. So everyone was peeing in the backyard behind some tree. And for some reason I did one time after I was drunk, I decided I wasn't gonna be behind the trail. I wanted to go to his bathroom.

So I take it to his bathroom. And I start slapping my hand on the wall, looking for the light switch. Like looking everywhere, probably for a, I'd say good minute dude. Finally, I just hear, can I help you? It was just, father's bedroom. He wants to do his parents bedroom in Boston. It was a great story

They let us say it That was a great Imagine a terrifying they work as their eyes and already adjusted to the dark So they're looking at me You're gonna stay Jolus dad's voice is so monotone and always so serious and he's like I can imagine going can I help you? I was just like it's just not the power of the world. I'll talk to you, Doug.

All right. You sound like you got a pretty decent piece. I'm gonna lay on the bed with you. Why don't you send the lady to the camera? I'd say it's weird to, I've had that happen. I mean, I remember that shit. That should affect you when you meet somebody in the wrong way. Like that.

I meant, I meant once, I was with my friend. I don't know if you guys, Jason or something. He lived on Tyler Ave, one block over for me. He was an older kid and I always wanted to hang with him. Cause his mom would always get him cool shit. Like guns, the cap guns. Remember the cap guns? Yeah, it was the best. Yeah, he loved he loved the little round like the red round thing you put

him in just keep snapping away and uh here's the thing I'm such a piece of shit my mom would never I my never mom would never buy me anything because we were poor and shit I think I hang out with this kid his mom would buy me some shit not the case this fucking fucking penny pinch and nickel chase fucking bought him something in front of me and just nothing for me. What do you expect? It's her kid.

Dude, fuck you if I have a kid, if I have your kid with me, I'm buying him some shit. You're nice. Absolutely. Yeah, I'm nice. But you get expected, though. Yeah, that's a problem.

Like Alan says, have no expectations. I have nothing. You ever throw those words Well you said your therapist because I wanted you to fucking buy it You were you were raised wrong. Don't you have a year's Yankee Teach me a lesson I'll fight it off Lewis lady you want me to suck it. Don't you? Light it off Lewis lady you want me to suck it don't you? Oh my god Jesus

Fucking A's what do you have an ace of space? I have a two seven off suit You have a two seven you have a two seven off suit. Why would you have that that's a full-hand? Yeah, I know It's a fucking First career is relationships is friendship. Yeah, I know it's a fucking That's a fucking That's for his career is relationships is friendship. Yeah, kind of No, it's not fault. It's about play your car. It's fucking motivational It's play your cards with a two seven never play your bluff. Is that what it is? That's not that's the idea. It's fucking. It's like, you know The the quote no matter how the what cards come out fucking play your hand and fucking win

It's a damn it's a fucking motivation. You just made that up right now So really dude. I just got two seven off, so for no reason, I'm like, cock sucker. Because I like you and I like severed. And you guys, like, those are my two favorite dick sizes. You guys go, so I've been playing poker for a long time.

I don't think I should tattoo this on you. Do it, do it, severed. But as you go, well, okay, I understand a little thick and analogy game, but why do you have to have him on fire? That was actually my tattoo artist idea and it's horrible. Let's make these shitty suit flamenate. Hey man. You know it was a good idea.

Me getting my nose pierced right in the middle of it, right in the bridge, and I'm gonna make your tattoo on fire. Why'd you listen to that guy? I'm like, his name is Cheese. Of course it is. It's a friend of mine. That looks like what he named cheese tattoo me. I Well fucking goes with it. Will you have any tattoos? I just got these mud flaps. You have mud flaps? Mudflap girls. Oh, it's cool man. I got these with Jay Ocaruson. It was a night. He got in trouble with his woman

All that crazy shit that happened. Yeah, and he, I gotta get... Why are you looking at me? Oh, cause we had him on the episode. Yeah, we talked about it. So all this crazy stuff happened. And then he was like, I'm getting tattoos. And then the funny thing was, Mike Vickione and these other guys had to talk him out of getting 666 on his forearm. They spent an hour telling him,

no, you don't want to get that as a tattoo. Why would we have to get that? Why would they just find it on his head that was there for the party? I'm not beginning. What, Phil, do you like that one? Dirty knees? Shave something.

So he got these crooked stars on his elbows and so I went, got this. Oh yeah, he did get those crooked. He tried to make that as logo. Yeah, he, uh, he, uh, uh, uh, can I just, we, A star is his logo. We've all tried, he fucking uh uh can I just a star is his logo. We've all tried I mean look you've we've all tried to come up with a fucking logo.

Something that just catches fire and we could you know sell a pen a hat. Maybe some t-shirts at riotcast.com. Merch page go to riotcast.com. Got a guy named Gator. It's a guy damn Gator fight. You yourself a dangerous Joe. And just remember yourself when you're always favorite buddy, German comic book artist, back. Yeah. Rebecca's awesome.

Sent us some of the new things I'm gonna show you. He sent one of just you. Oh, cool. Yeah. And one of just me. And we're gonna have a couple of pages left too. We're gonna get new posters. Our favorite buddy, German comic book artist, back.

Yeah. Rebecca's awesome. Sent us some of the new things I'm gonna show you. Yeah. He sent one of just you. Oh, cool. Yeah. And one of just me.

And we're gonna have a couple of pages left too. We're gonna get He sent one of just you. Oh cool. Yeah, and one of just me and we're gonna actually have the Postor made up and I'm working on the live show Yeah, we're gonna do a live show with us and friends of the show We're gonna have like an eight panel and maybe even more and We'll tank concert. Oh, shit. Oh, my dude at the village underground. Oh Gonna make it make a fucking hologram of Mikey D and have to come out and tell jokes Everyone just sit in it. I was actually friends. Yeah, I like my good day man real close friends. I'm gonna sober. Thanks bro Yeah, I like my good day man real close friends. I'll be sober. Thanks bro

Maybe I was Associate of my GD as well I knew I knew him from the scene. I love it when the word is here so much because whenever you're here Lewis No one notices little fuck ups. I'm doing. Oh, it's all about you Yeah, reset that I can just reset this about you. Just, yeah, reset that I can just reset this. We're gonna take the game out. He's gonna be a hundred tomorrow. Thank God we're not doing something tomorrow. That's crazy. I'm staying inside. It's gonna be a hundred to read out this. Staying inside. I'm not. I'm going to fucking boxing class. You're going two days in a row. I'm fucking 11

with my third day tomorrow. Where you going? I'll go. I'll go. What do you do? I'm not working tomorrow. It's it's all right. I'll go. I'll go. What do you do? I'm the working tomorrow. Okay. It's all right I'll go. I'll go or she can't go No, I'm sorry. I got a move, but I'm not moving to later It's your movie on a hundred of your weather. I have to I'm getting a free van. Sorry I get a free van who's fucking friend of mine who moves stuff. That's a rape that's a rape trap Kind of a fake cast on rape traps. Is it a kind of a fake cast on?

No, it's not. Are you mind me helping move this girl? You gotta broken her hair. You don't use her, my dog. All right, now help you with the cage. I know. Are you moving too? I'm moving too.

You want to help me out? Wait, yeah. Ah. Well, you were a big factor. Did you used to be a great person? Oh. I have a good ease to hearing. You were big fat. Did you work? Did you used to be a great good I have a good easy hair in the D'You're an animal fisher

I'm so hurt by dog Anyway, so There's a little thing a little Kelly fuck somebody last night. Oh what Got some dude With a sweet little sweet in my step you fucking bang somebody. Yeah, you this night. Yeah, I want to know the details Okay, do we know him? No, is there work at the restaurant? No, could we know him? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's a total civilian civilian, where'd you meet him? I met him out. Out where? At a par. Black guy.

No, what guy? What bar? Good job. The next soda press you fucking. No, I'm raised crazy. She's fucking lying to us. Watch. It is somebody we know.

Where bar did you meet him? No, I did. It's not. Do you meet him at Cabin? I know. I'm retired from making that with comics. Did you use a rubber? It's about time to fucking get it with all the. Of course, what do you mean of course? comics. Did you did you use a rubber? It's about time to get it with all the course

What do you mean of course? You're a Fucking condom your always roll back. I fucking I got class on the fucking She said roll back. What event first? I like that you did that's your t-shirt. What did you, did you, you went out to dinner or something? No, we went out for drinks. No, the fucking shortcut. Wow, he really got right to you, Clint.

How many beers? Was this the first time you guys went out for drinks? Yeah. He talked to him right after. Well, he just just fucking... He went back to his house. Did you look around going? There's got a lot of room here.

Hey, nice plate. You don't mean a room, are you? So you can pick for a room, right? That, that's the voice I was telling you, Pat. You're in peace. I'm never slut. At least try to fuck her way to the top. Didn't even big day count, big was it? For a walk, I didn't use my height, too.

How many hands? How many hands? Bigger taller than my hands. How many inches? Two, three. Two and a half hands To jeez that's a bad that's got hands well how big how many inches does the new I'm pretty big I'm gonna stop the fucking show you got a big dick pretty big

Yeah, how big you dick I don't know. It's not crazy, but you just seem to get a You get a whose people. I don't know People people is it random dudes Completely erect that's bigger than show us on Kelly's hands. I don't know do hands. I don't never done to No, I've never done to I would you do to it would be some showing yeah peak out it would peak out The first of all the AC keep going out and right we started getting it Lewis is the only one who can fix it Unrollable person to paint chag so we don't have to stop the podcast Dan rubs the top of his head I've ever heard my top my head like a fucking asshole for five minutes looks at Lewis, but Lewis is such a stoner

He just enjoys it's like interesting Man soda dude every time I turn around it just go straight off. Okay, what else is plugged in there What else is plugged into it? Oh? No, no, no, no, don't unplug that. Don't unplug that. I was gonna plug anything. Why can't we unplug that? What is that? What is that? What the fuck man? How that bad is that? What is that? Hang on, what the fuck man? What the fuck man? How the fuck is that bad? What did you just say?

I said that you guys should have hammer-fishing.com for the best MMA podcasts on the internet. Yeah, if you want to fucking hear a stoner just ramble. What? You got fucking, you a fucking baked. No, Matt! On the podcast, your last podcast, I've never heard somebody so fucking stone Oh in California life in California. This would aggravate me about you You wouldn't acknowledge how fucking high you were dude and you tried to control it you tried to like

Like tame your brain into fucking thinking straight Well, no dude like this next kind of funny, and you know what, you know what your podcast made me? Thirsty. That's all it did. I just wanted to drink water. And take a nap. I wanted to go swimming. I wanted to drink water. No, that was a bad podcast.

I smoked weed for two weeks straight. I ate weed. Dude, I've never, I told my girlfriend, I was like, she met me for the last three days in my little trip to California. And I told her I would stop smoking weed when I came back to New York. This fucking crazy, dude.

So Friday night I had a show at East Folk Comedy Club. When I got out of the show, I met Big J and we smoked a bunch of weed. Okay, and then I lied to Beatrice, and I said, I was like, I was like, I want you to- She didn't know that you lied, can you? Yes, you know, yes, let me tell you. I was like, I went to the bar with my buddy Gary,

Gary Veter is another comic. Yeah, sure. So then the next day, I text Gary. That's what we call him now. Gary, a friend of mine, Gary. Gary, uh, totally straight. Hey Gary, this is my friend's house. Oh my God, you guys, are you doing the podcast with Louis?

So are you Bob Bobby? Oh my God, and that must be Monster Voice. I want to climb up him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's not so fast. Louis, you can't see his nipples are in the air. No, don't you. Oh my God, Kelly, what do you do with your gun? Something nice, smile. I would never talk to Joe Litz.

Oh my God, look at Joe Litz's face. I like the glasses. You need a baby jacket to stick in that mouth. Oh my God, look at Kelly. Shoulders. Do you need to be a bodybuilder By the way, I'm not actually gay. It's your first time turning into a You are gay though. You have a beautiful girlfriend. So listen is your bitch. She hates me right now. Listen, okay

So dude, I told her to the mark my friend Gary the next day a text Gary I'm like dude if beaters ask you can you not pantomime the texting we get it Beachers ask you can you not pantomime the texting we get it Part of time I walked through the contest I say there's Gary Hello Yeah, we got it so I take scary. I'm like dude if Beachers ask you Tell her we were at the bar. Tell her we're at whiskey town last night and parentheses It's great third street and street second. I'm playing with the whiskey with a parentheses.

I was smoking with Jay. I got a text message back one minute later from Beatrice. I guess you texted the wrong person. You fucking ass. We're done. Who is? What? What?

She broke up with me for like the hour, dude. It's like I'm a knowledge that she's pregnant with my child. This is like a known baby. You know that now I did yeah, you didn't know that 14 weeks today Basket You don't send your friends when they get pregnant basketball We're the 90-fold. You're not gonna watch just a basket for us. Like a motor car.

It's a car. It's the rest of the river. Chocolate and eggs. Chocolate and eggs. You're gonna be a basket to put it in when he drops it off with a fucking adoption. That's what it is. Like all the rest of the point of view. Ruus, you know what to do with this.

Given the Moses. Yeah, dude. Go to the upper side, find a nice home for this baby. She lost her shit dude Lost her shit really so how did you get back into that one? How did you fix it? I mean? I so I didn't want to upset her. That's why I lied did I've been I've been caught multiple times lying But be because I don't want to make her angry because when she gets angry She's like fucking so lunatic dude. It's like rage. Oh, I I wouldn't you

You are the biggest lunatic I've ever's like rage. Oh, I I wouldn't you're you are the biggest lunatic I've ever met my life when you get angry. It's literally. Yeah, it's intense. It's fucking crazy. How old are you crazy? You're 30. You have scrapes on your elbows. Oh, yeah, why from what? Yeah, that is why do you have scrapes? It fills Mike's not on, but he has a good question. I'm sorry. I shut your mic off. Uh, yeah, that is the Lewis. So Nate's talking about that is the Lewis. Okay. And by the way, at the bur at the McDonald's, right? Yeah. By the way, wait a minute. What are you talking about? Nate has a bit where he talks about Lewis flipping out of McDonald's because, and here's what really pissed me off. I'm

the one that took the bite out of the burger and folded it back. By the way, I make up mad at me for saying that on stage recently, for saying that my friend Dan was there. He just got mad because I even brought it up. Yeah. So because I'm saying, is he up mad at me for saying that on stage recently for saying that my friend Dan was there. He just got mad because I even brought it up. Yeah, so because I'm mad at you for this. No, that's fine. It's a great joke. It's a great bit. It's an unbelievable joke, but he's just lies.

He's inaccurate. You got me. You got me. He lost his shit out of McDonald's. Nate Lewis and I are eating in the McDonald's on the upper west side. And Lewis is like, you guys don't have dark coke. That's crazy.

You guys are, I'm gonna go get a dark coke. So he leaves to go get a dark coke. And Nate and I are sitting there and I is like, you guys don't have dark coke, that's crazy. You guys are, I'm gonna go get a dark coke. So he leaves to go get a dark coke and Nate and I are sitting there and I'm like, we should take a bite out of his burger and wrap it back up and Nate does this Nate hands where he goes, my animal lose it. You do that, I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna go out by myself. So I take the cheeseburger and literally take like a cartoon bite where you could see my teeth marks and then I pulled it back you can't take it off the mouth. Oh no no. So big fucking chicklet teeth.

Lewis comes in and they goes my I don't know. No you talk over my fucking. Baaah! On my laugh. Shicklet teeth isn't good. Yeah that was nice. No because I don't have tiny teeth I big teeth. That's a chick that's huge.

Chicklet's a big. You fucking idiot. I didn't say tick-tack teeth, tick-dogs. I'm trying to do the cully difference. Don't you get struck by fucking wall. You gotta put your eyes to be bigger. Dude, your voice too big to be cute. Bro, don't be mad at me, Rolly.

I won't try to do stars. I got him, I got him. He lost his shit. Louis lost his shit. He literally goes you think this is funny to someone that is funny by the way net thinks it's so funny he had to leave he was laughing so he was laughing while you mad

and no he think I thought that somebody from a Donald's took a bite of the burger we actually talked about this before and served it to me yeah that's funny so yeah that is Lewis from Nate's joke oh good it's funny that make it's mad with a guy I let's. Wow, good. And it's funny that Nate gets mad when we- I do the guy. Well, no, Nate's a better joke writer, so he can have that. Oh, don't-

He can have that. Oh, he's not that bad. No, he's not. See what I get out there? It's called Fishing. Yeah. And guess what I caught? Four easy trout.

Oh, no. Nobody said you're a good joke writer. Yeah, we just said- We said, don't be so hard on yourself. We get it. Don't be on yourself. Yeah, you're not good joke, right? We just said, we said, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be honest. Yeah, you're not that good, but you're not that bad. Bad for you, Dan, because you got cut out of night's story. Because you've been interesting enough

that I had to give all the pot to Lewis. Let's give it a go. I want to get back to you. I want to get back to you. Hey, slut. Fucking look. Let's go back to you slapping your muff after you bought you a drink.

You want some of these? You want some of these? You want some of these? You want some of these? Let's go back to you slapping your muff after you bought you a drink What is that thing that's flapping over your we swore hey? Why is the vagina like a beaver tail So he buys you a drink come on she can actually just Christ'm tapping out like a fucking receiver every five seconds and Lewis is like, what does he keep doing that? I like how he does it though. He's making me laugh so hard. AC keeps going out in the room.

But Dan, the only one that can fix it is Lewis. And Dan is the only one that can fix it. So he keeps tapping his head. He's committed to the head tapping. He's tapping it. It's like every five minutes, not even. Oh god. All right, back to you, get you counted out last night.

Yeah, I tell you guys, we happy for me. Bob, Bob, Bob. We are happy for you. We just want to know details. OK. So you go to the bar. Yeah, with this dude. Now I want a big dick stranger.

Big dick. I had met him randomly at another bar on the lorry side no I can't actually remember it was 13th and I she was really drunk and she was in the mood nope nope no I know where you at I'm as a random you have making G.H.L.A. How did you get out you seem lucky to get cut

speaking of cut Was not cut oh Now this how big the dig is how long did you have to do this? I'm like pulling a hack. Creep out and kick like a fucking bunny hill. I'm like, I don't like the Dan as a professional whistle. It's like the original Mickey Mouse on the vocal scene, but it's impressive. This is a fuck. Karen, can I show you a question? I should get an Irish spring commercial.

We only were spring. Did you think it was gross? No, I've had it number four. It's the Australian guys. That's how you got to America. I love that. I shuffle them back all the way in the boat over here. Gonna find my freedom.

I'm gonna suck over here. Gonna find my freedom. You're the first skin of the day. It's the first, first skin of the day. It's the first, first skin of the day. Australia. Australia. I said I'm so eyes, I love them all. No, because Australian men, any most of the Australian guys I've been in. They do it themselves.

I'm stuck in the pocket. I'm stuck of the guys. I do it themselves. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car.

I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car.

I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in the car. I'm in. No, I'm a change guy. I just think in Australian accent. You've got a real one. You're talking to me. You have the accent.

Are you just doing you? I'm supporting Dan within his joke. She fucking just did a shitty version of her own accent. It's like when people do a walkin' but they're just doing Jay Moore's walkin'. I'd be like walking, doing a walkin' to a walkin doing Jay Moore's walkin' I'd be like walking doing a walkin' Yeah, walkin' To try to do a shitty one

Well your Lewis impersonation isn't that big jigs impersonation of Lewis's impersonation? That's true Yeah, I do do impersonation that's real quick real quick I just mean, me and Dan Soda just got a couple gigs together Yeah, I tried to get you on them but they fucking, you're not past yet We're gonna get you on a gig Kelly It's okay I know Thank you, thank you anyway Alright, yet. We're gonna get you on a gig Kelly. Okay, well, I know

Thank you. Thank you anyway. All right shut up. I Don't get it. We we're gonna get you on a live show We're gonna get you on a deal but me and you got some gig coming up at the levity live up in Where the fuck it is in Jersey some hometown. I should get some other one with you one Newsyf Macubbies and ball more. Yeah, they'll be fun. Well, maybe Mugubis and ball more. Yeah, they'll be fun. Well, I can grab that one. Yeah, I get super drunk and try to bang Kelly in front of me. I'll be like, Bobby, I mean, I'm just joking I'll be in a fucking worker closet. Hopefully I'm shredded by that I'll tell you all the details.

So anyways, we got those shows coming up and make sure you go down and check out the new shows coming out. We got some new shows happening. We're in medicine with Dr. Steve, Bailey J. But check out the other shows too. And you know what, fuck it. Go to Riotcast, which is the best network on the internet for podcasts,

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yeah and what are you doing you can hear that? You're dead. Come on. Are you done? I was just thinking that's a man. Yes. That's not how awkward it is when you take a subway going to fuck. Why? Because you're sick so it's all like bright lit. No, you take the cab you get you always you just get to the cat I've never taken a fucking subway to fuck. Yeah, I'm never done that with the chick You taught us pay taken a fucking so what a fuck yeah, I'll never done that with the chick We taught us fight for a fucking guy for the girl. You're gonna fuck it. Jesus. You're gonna make it Oh wait, I am years ago you weren't here. There was listen first of all don't sex me You saved that shit from Gaelos and I'm gonna work on me. Yeah, it was

I like the dance getting this work and cow lick back So you go back to his place. Yeah, I want us to go did you know when the date started you showed up? Yeah, that you're gonna fuck yeah within the first five minutes on you really what did you say to yourself? You walk in and you see him and what happens? I'm gonna give no Seriously, I want to know what this is It was better looking than I remembered that he was right and You know I was fucking I've been like two and a half months Really so you've been d-dittlein for two and a half months by yourself. Yeah, really

Yeah, but you suck the couple dicks in there. No, you did you told us you did you fucking lion's gang When you did see did you suck the dick? Yeah, you don't win. I don't know you're the one who sucked in I'm not keeping I don't know I fucking can't I'm not fucking black guy No, the last guy I was with was a black guy, but we haven't hung out like for like two months I haven't sucked any dick in between you suck the black guys dick last dick you sucked as a black guy Yeah, well we were fucking in the meantime you were fucking the black guy and sucking his dick Yeah, I want a record so we kick you off this podcast, you know why.

I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm getting it. Why? I'm because he's blunt. I'll get it. Oh, fuck. Sorry.

Come on. My name's Kelly and I really joke. Because I ask real question. I'm like, you ready to hold that one? I ask real question. Thanks. Robert. Robert. Stop questions. Robert stop it. Robert don't make fun of me.

Okay. Listen, so you know you're gonna fuck him. You know how you're gonna fuck him? I'm gonna fuck the shit out of him. He had a later. Well, at least he's a thing because I was like my height. And I'm a bit about that. I was like, when the guy's my height,

I'm like, he's not gonna be at a throw me around and good. I'm fucking tired of him. I was like, when the guy is my high, I'm like, he's not going to be out of throwing me around and good. Like, I'll fucking toss you to the top. I'm fucking break your spine. I'm not getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it One of the benefits of like being a fat girl and just beat this shit out of Kevin right now I fuck her on air last podcast ever Hi mama, I'll be listening. This is your daughter now. Um, no, because the thing was I know But I should already kill herself when she heard you fucking black. It's okay. Yeah Oh She's not straight. You never got you to spear gun. Yeah, so she's like made no Kelly

My mom's banging for some caramel children, so she would love that. Anyway, um Why? Because they should be different. Everyone would be like, oh, this is so amazing. Anyway, I'm not going to miss for you guys that you have high bones Fucking dude I'm not going to miss for you guys that you have high bones That was me that was it that was it Well Okay, so you just throw it out there that's where I'm drinking fucking badge don't Fuck you, you quack sucker! Fuckin' hangin' out, fuckin' talkin' to him about fuckin' shit. Fuck you, you little ass.

It's the first unsurcomed sauce, Dicky the Dye. Alright, so you know you're gonna fuck him, and then how long do you drink for? Uh, eight. A third of a beer. A three and a half hours? Did you make sips? Did you make it? Yeah, we went to a few different places

Good to fact me Excuse me What if you want to do the date body? Let's do the date you're like that Reek is going right for the fucking expensive hindrogens Right answer a bud light. I asked you on three stupid you're on three slow it down. We got one podcast Yeah, I just celebrated four years I'm kidding loose you deserve everything Bobby, let's do let's do the date how quick the day went you're the guy. I'm Kelly. Hey, what's going on Kelly? Oh, nice to meet you. What's your name?

My name's Greg. Oh, that's fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just seem like you got a big dick. You want a back? I love a big dick. I'm sorry. Okay, well, I'll suck it face do you want a back? I thought we get a drink, do you? Pay my muff I, I lived on the, okay, yeah, we have a water I live on the east side, you I do a thing cab with a train Oh, piggy, you can jump on my back, I'll give you a piggy back Let's go fuck

Alright, let's go How old you like a baby, let's go back. All right, let's go. How old you like? Oh, don't you like a baby? Let's go back Why are we not fucking yet? Let's talk more fucking You want to fucking again? New on the Ryan cast Stop, oh fuck, oh fuck. Um... Alright, so you're... Fucking AC stupid! This is the hottest podcast ever. That's what it was. I hear not saying it like a brother.

You're not saying it like this is the hottest one we ever done. This is fucking hot in here. Hot is fucking Kelly's box. Listen, so you go. We'll go back to his place. You're excited about that. Why? Because you don't have a bullet I'm known to get fucked his place. You're excited about that why because you know What's up with roller girl Kelly? I don't know I like it

She's like that's like some shit you see there were some of them are working I never had game before because I was a little fatty and had a boyfriend for a long time And now that I'm thin I like guys can like lift me up And now I'm starting to get that confidence back where I'm like, fucking, I don't give a shit. Well, you don't want to go out with me. I don't count me one to the next one. I'm trying to get like that.

I'm trying to get the confidence. You should be. And this is going to be a good week for that. We got another one on Wednesday. Yeah, it's not pointing at you. You know what? Guy's going to get eight this week. I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, Yeah Would you go hold the fuck the fuck the fuck you ate her? Try and try it was good I'm gonna jazz hole Kelly. I didn't want to bring this up. You're confidence. We'll probably skyrocket

But I prefer if you didn't flap your arms around like that Nothing to make it dick soft Kelly, you know you can fix those. Oh, they look fine You could fix them by actually working on just doing a little Tri-Sepi's yeah, okay, thanks. Oh Sorry Shit What I look like I'm what you look great

He's a crazy large shoulders No one's in the Hamilton Crazy hot he's a crazy large shoulders I Like shoulders like a legion of doom Stop stop stop Kelly I didn't mean I'm fat to I mean I was just saying you can I'm fat to say no Bobby's been in relationship for 29 now I talk to the women so all women are awful yeah I'm just saying that you can fix those atrocious arms if you don't want guys to throw up Oh, you can fix that

When you suck you dick and you actually hypnotize them by accident with your underarms. I'll make the best lunch lady Oh, no, I think Kelly lately you've been looking real good You've been looking sexy and now this week you're gonna fuck somebody else Well, say I get there's a another is a bartender from a place that I do an open-blackout. Oh my god free drinks imagine that I'm Wednesday night. I was really falling with I was really falling with this guy really like is he like tweeted to me He tweeted you he got pussy off Twitter. Yeah, making a public you know Kelly has around 1400 followers now How many do you have 450? First of all hammer fishing has more Twitter's than you know what dude Twitter followers. Yeah, hammer fishing has a lot more Twitter followers

You know who who. Twitter followers? Yeah. Hammer fencing is a lot more Twitter followers than you know what dude. Who? Who is that? Who? It's the guy you know the other day. Who? Oh, Gino Biscote is coming in. Oh, Gino's coming in. Yeah, I forgot to tell you you got Gino's doing my other podcast tonight. Gino's doing the weather and the news for us today. He's bringing. He's also fucking. All right, Gino. We're going to take a break right now. Let's go back. We're going gonna take a break do a couple ads for the show and do some promos and we'll be back with Gina Pascante, Dustin Schafen and fucking more story about Kelly getting these the whole hairy show, Gina.

We get new sponsors the show. You guys want to help support the show. You guys already do by listening. You guys, but here's the show. You guys already do by listening. You guys, but here's another way. Amazon.com. You guys buy stuff off Amazon. You buy it from us now. Go to our website. First fairy mafia. You like Amazon? Well, guess what? Now you go through us. I know. I'm winging this one. Here's the deal. You want to support the show, go to our website, ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly and hit the Amazon button. All the stuff we talk about on Tech Talk, you can get on Amazon. If you're going to buy something on Amazon, you can

support our show by just buying it from our page. Go to ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly Live and hit the Amazon button and purchase your items from there. It will support our show. We make a little, a little kizash off of it, and that makes us look good. Makes us fucking look popular, kid. And then we get to buy all kinds of stuff for the studio and all that. And also, GameFly.com, which Dan is very excited about.

Yeah, because you get, especially with the free trial for all fans of the podcast. That's right. It's a it was a two two DVD. You get a two game 15 day trial. Did you read what they've we get game fly Joe just is one of the new sponsors on the show. And you right now if you sign up, if you go to gameply.com, Y-slashYKWD, you can sign up through there, you get a free trial, I think it's 15 days, you get two games, and the great thing about Gamefly,

if you're a gamer, you know, it's, look, I've had a fucking game, I've had a thousand dollars worth of video games that I didn't play anymore, and I wind up going back to fucking games Stop returning them blah blah damn with all that horse shit. Fuck it. You don't have to buy him anymore If you're gonna buy him you want to make sure they're good first make sure you like him How many games if I got and I bought I spent 60 dollars on and it sucked? Yeah, it's the Netflix of video game Netflix of video games you can actually try out the game before you buy or truck

Jesus are you fucking dying over there? It's that fucking chickeny game. You know that barbecue is burning my prison. There was a plan. How could you? There was a plant from the truth. Yeah. It's just I have my burn right now because that's all your Dictority dates. Bobby come over here. Do this fucking day from the over the fucking. Oh,quid. Anyway, hmm. Mm. Mm. We, yeah, Netflix.com, go to,

get a flight. Get a flight. Go to Netflix. You put Netflix in my head. I was comparing it. All right. Here's two ways you can support the show. Go to robbercast.com, slash robberkelly,

and buy all your Amazon stuff from our page. We'd really appreciate it I'm gonna do it you guys should do it and then go to Gamefly.com slash YKWD and sign up for your free trial It's awesome. I use it dance so to use it Kelly doesn't but she will if someday she can afford a fucking gaming system So anyways, that's two new sponsors of the show can afford a fucking gaming system. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go We, uh, we actually had a good friend of mine who I, uh, adore. Um, Gino Biscante is in the house. Hey, buddy. No, buddy. No, how we doing, buddy? Hey, man.

Gino Biscante. It's good to meet you. What's up, buddy? That's good to be. Nothing. Same. Talking to the microphone, stupid. Do I have to get close to it?

Yeah, you do. I have the orange microphone that you did a little switch a root here. Why? Well, because I like orange. Don't squit. I need those the way they're supposed to be for color codes So I know whose mic is what really see this what I like about you. I don't see color

This is what I don't like about you. Do you know yet you shut off? This what I don't like about you. I don't care You they can't hear you I You know because you're a control fucking nut ball shut you fucking You don't ever touch monster voices fucking microphone He's a her in that fucking microphone You walk the fucking here you don't know and shit Yeah, this is my fucking a microphone. I ain't since Bobby's fucking kitchen monster voice. I got this. Let me take Kitchen, Monster Voice, I got this let me take it. I just got here. Yeah, so anyway, you're gonna eat the mic.

We got Dusty Schafens in the house. We got Lewis Gay. I think Gino might take that. My girlfriend after listening to that question me again. She started questioning me. I'm actually straight again. She should. She said I'm not allowed to go on a date with that guy.

Yeah, no shit, because you'd suck his cock. You can't go on a date with Kelly,. Yeah, no shit cuz you'd suck his cock You can't go on a date with Kelly cuz you'd fucking cock block her We're just talking to Kelly Kelly actually suck some dick. Did you suck his dick? Yeah? Last night for the first time we got some cock last night. That's fantastic. Yeah, everyone's really happy for me I was listening to you are you see me were talking about Gomez, but that's You got some big dick. Why would you make a face like that, Kelly? You fucking bitch. Hey, don't get mad at her. Oh, she made a face like oh, I would rather die than suck loads as dick. Yeah, we all would He's like a black guy's two weeks ago. It's colder than Puerto Rican. They're called those people Jesus Christ. Listen, don't fucking tank my podcast. Bobby. Listen, it needs my help. You say Bobby again.

Fucking shut your mic. Bobby. Come on. No, don't come on. Sit, you fucking done it. You fucking done it. You're not with me. You get it spider. Get me the fucking drinky cock sucka. That's it over here. Shut your fucking face. Why is my life, Mike so I die sunstone? I shun't you down. I apologize. Shut your fucking face. Why is my leg, Mike's a little... Dice on Stern.

Dice on Stern, you down. I apologize. I just shut you down just in case. Stupid. Listen, you're not on the morning zoo. You don't get to take over the show. Hey, welcome back. We're here with comedian Gino Miscotti.

He's gonna be performing down at the end. I want a fucking ding every quip that shit dick makes. I'll be the ha-ha-ha-ho. I bet you know, come and wrote jokes for this fucking show. I haven't wrote jokes for anything in the past decades I don't know you don't wait a minute Ding first quickie shit joke hey wait a minute Don't fucking this isn't fucking As whole

But I anyways, so Kelly you went last night back to the guys place yeah Did you just fucking the hallway get in and start sucking and fucking Was romantic at all uh well he showed me that picture I texted you with me wearing Lewis? Yeah, I was like, are you sure you didn't fuck Lewis? Lewis is like, I love that at someone's house. It was like a really baggy, like a blanket to the jacket's cold. Yeah, it's called a blanket. Things that will shut you up when you yell rape? Kelly, do you know what that said, Gina?

You knew sobers are nothing. Gina Buscanti's coming in like a barrel of nothing Slow down Bobby do what Dustin's doing picking his fucking moments No, just sober six I miss go ahead. I miss drunk sex. I've been sober four years and sometimes Congratulations by the day you said it five times. I have I have Everybody's dragon so I might as well bring it up. I'm not very I'm not gonna know it's funny. It's 27 years. I know you haven't I'm 27 Wow Not good at 27 years. What you say?

Count his actions. Can I do a tote board, please? You don't have to miss drunk sex, but I miss that bathroom sex bathroom sex was amazing when you're just like you know wreck the sink and you're just in there and it's crazy what you're doing lines and how do you work on that yeah and the water pop some Jesus Christ you see her per go and the coke brother yes exactly three stooges and Charlie on the way to go back to a place you kicked out. Get off your phone. What are you doing? Get off your fucking mother. Get off your phone. What do you think of doing with the

phone? I'm checking the weather. We'll get to that. You keep that down. That's all. But what did you think? What do people do? You know, you know, just got to get me in trouble. Big time. This is what Gino is. This is why I love Gino and I hate you. Now, where were we?

We were at a college and a guy. Black kid comes up to me, gay black kid. He just fell a queer. He goes, he goes like this, he goes, please, whatever you do. Do whatever you want, religious. Just don't, don't degrade women. Don't, don't degrade gay people and don't be racist. I go fucking no problem, of course.

Well, who the fuck would do that? That, I mean, that's almost stupid that you'd say that. This cock's second the first three jokes out of his mouth. Fucking beaten women, fags, and black people. What's up with the colored whore in the front bag? Yeah, yeah. And the guy's sitting right next to him. He's like, is he serious?

No, I'm sure he'll stop. And then I just keep going. Oh, he goes like this. He looked at me, he goes, really? Really? I don't know. I don't know this guy's act. That was so funny.

I brought him because he makes me laugh in a car. Could you be any more Italian? Oh, and he's yelling me on the right back. You're not clever. You're a mushy mouth racist. I'm not gonna get me yelling at me. It's two hours and I'm so hungover. Oh, because I really have drank in 27 years.

Straight. You need to. Oh man. So you go back to this guy's place. Yeah. We're gonna get to the bottom of this. You go back in. You start kissing right away. That's what he said. Yeah. And then how fast was his cock out? No, fast can tell his hands open his zipper.

I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out.

I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. I'm gonna pull it out. You're so close. It's on circumcised, so it takes a while. It's like, be slow, be slow with the corners. I don't want this hooking on a zipper. She a cox slinger, like a gun slinger. I like that.

Quick. One. Is it an album, Nate? Is it Dick Orgame? Hi, the corners. Get it. Come on, Gina, whip one out. What the hell?

You do it, you do it, I'm fine.. What the hell. You do it. You do it. So you go back in and you get his dick out quick. Quickly. It's an ad for modifying how she took his dick out. How do you get it from your mouth? How fast is it from your mouth to your fucking plus whack? I was very, I was very long.

So you only suck this dick for a couple of minutes. No, no, no, no, I like longer than that like probably under 10 minutes But that's not a weird thing. Oh, did you suck his dick with a condom on? No, but that's not a good look. That's not the girl's choice Like did you decide? Normal girls will suck your dick without a condom Yes, yeah, they're actually depending on you not having a Yeah, they're actually depending on you not having a Sorry, did you kiss them on the mouth? Did you take the money first? Was it business before pleasure?

Did you get rolled? Did you grab your wallet? So you sucked is dick good to the driver wait outside. Well, well was he was he was it was it was he happy? Yeah, all right. Where you looking up at him while you're doing it? What is the what is the point in the chicks head? Not really. Where she goes, okay, I've sucked his dick enough,

I want this inside me. What is that point? When did you make that decision? When I went to have that. During drinks. So it's all about that. He was up for it too though. Like we got to, like, you know,

we're doing it, like, seven minutes and he was gonna come. Like, so we stopped so we could like fuck. He stopped, he pushed back. he looked at his shoulders and arms. I love it, they sure did, that's what I do. I'm like, I yell yotsie, sorry, and try to rush to the vagina. I don't really have time to make decisions like. Did he go, did he go, did he go down? Did he go, did he go down?

That's a three-fer. That's a lot. I want to rearrange the other. You come in way too hot. I think he's gonna get through. He's gassing out. Look think he's gonna get his gas and out. I'm gonna slow down. I have two speeds, too fast and what the fuck?

That's me, dude. We're not thinking of it. I can't wait for the Twitter comments on this fucking dummy. Bobby, let me tell you, all five of my followers. So Bobby got me a follower and hit you with his mic. I'm gonna hit you with my mic. I'm gonna hit you with my mic. Yeah, go back in your first.

I'll put it in L1. Woo! Stoke is cool. Stoke is gonna kill him. Good, so I'm not gonna kill him. 15 School Did he serve the shoe Why not yeah, but no, well, cuz I don't trust the guy doesn't go down on a woman. Yeah, eventually That happened all right. What do you know? What do you were sister? What are you talking? Honey if he doesn't go down on you, I don't trust it. I don't trust the man Perry and Texas

Texas Mother my pussy My person I don't know how to do it up here, but you Yankees are crazy because we know trust him mother fucker We're only to pussy down down Why would you try I appreciate a madman trafin over This is what blows me away is that she sucks his dick until he's about to come and then he she puts it in her pussy without a rubber He's gonna bring me to this country What kind of

So you you put a rub was it his rubber your What do you call a rubber in Australia? A franger. Oh, what? A franger. A franger. That's right. See, put on the franger. Gotta wear a franger when you're banging an abba.

What's your real guy? What are you doing? Why don't you and Genus start a podcast? I don't really do it in your lab friends. We get called the middle. We get called the middle refund. Oh, the middle. Yeah.

Another Dustin's the best. So you put the rubber on. The metals Another Dustin's the best So you put the rubber on he get he does he take it out of his pocket is you have a bad guy tight in the bits I type so could you have a move did you have a move? No, no, he's been good. Okay, you put it on with your mouth like a true horse You put it on and then you you you just put it in your Where you said they're wiggling your bottom? Hey, we're gonna fuck you. We're gonna fuck high. We're gonna con him and that's how straight.

Yeah, it's pretty simple. It's possible. I'm gonna be the odd dog is a medic after a while. Hang on a second, Gino, stop fucking with my fucking monster voice. Yes, that's the way it is. That's how straight. Yeah, it is. It's gonna go up.

That's a good question. We're gonna con him, was it? Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. Ah, it's got that big that's a good question. What kind of kind of was it? There's a magnet It's Hockey joke fuck does anybody in here wear a magnet? And you were they're not that big they're not that big One-on-one time You jerk off into car. I do I do jerk off into you know that shut the fuck up I'm wait a minute you wear a Magnum. Yeah, you wear a magnet

Is somebody a big dick day little dick? I know you don't wear a mask I love how I'm not in and just passed over You're Italian we know already Ask me in a genuinely good way. Why would you have a fucking monster cock? Of course he does. That voice, you don't have a little dick with that voice.

Kelly, does Dan have a big dick? I don't know, I'm no thing. You've never seen Dan's cock? No. Let's have a cock off. I want it out. You should fuck Dan, just for shift to giggles. Just to let us know what his cock is.

Would you fuck Kelly? Yeah. I say we get donations Drunk podcast drunken board enough What's the most beers ever drank during the podcast? I don't know, but if you slam that again I'm gonna fucking slam your head. Why do I keep getting old to me shut the fuck up cuz you're annoying You're like a fucking like a loud Asian word if you not say word if you just look at me. Definitely look at me look at me Shut up. Look at me Done you done. Push it away. Shut up

You're not gonna win. I'm gonna throw you out. Feel get him out. He's like a he's like the bounces down Thierry you out off the Mugnugus. Gina. Gina's like a keyboard player They got asked to play on a record and he's just so lowing the whole time No, it's like hey, you know, we actually had you no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I Did get one joke so here You know what some pictures only have one pitch But I'm into the majors, baby. I like you fucking joke. I like the fucking. No, it's a great joke All right, why are we avoiding all of this we got to get back to what Kelly's big dick day Yeah, I want to know when you fuck now you fucking the shit out of him. How long do you fuck first of all? I don't know this is a lemonade the date that we're trying to hook you up with all these fucking guys And I was on top

I was on top for the majority of it. You made a top on top. No, no, no for the majority of it. And you made a top with your on top. No, no, no, no, no, you really, you really, you really get to be really good. We shut that fan off. I was on top and then we after a little bit, when I was close to coming, I went on the bottom so I could come.

And then we'd be calm. Yeah, you came. What's that happened? Are you a squirt of Kelly? Sometimes. You squirt some guys. Oh, throw up. Throw up.

No, that's awesome. Make sure the blood coming out of your ass, hold your, turning Donald Warrer. Oh I can't watch it. I'm pouring No No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Thank you for no to throw it off Yellow came out The color is seeming yellow So so you fucking for around 10 minutes a bit longer a bit longer and then you fuck he comes or you come I come first and then he comes really why and then we have a little break and then we go again you Double header I can never do you guys co-headline Will you speaking what had happened? Is he like that accent?

I wanted to know something real quick. Wait, Dan's not a talk dirty for Kelly. You want to fuck again? Give me that big dick. You should be back picked my island. And me grandfather was a rapist. You're a... Oh! How do you give me your call-up?

Oh, your tics like a cooler lake. Oh, my. I apologize. Put your vigil on all over my tits. I don't even use to be big tits. It was OK until you were there. Oh, hey, wait a minute. Was okay until we brought up what used to be.

Did you take your titties out? Yeah. So she didn't fuck with a shirt on like a sociopath. Like a fat guy with a swimming pool. Like a lifetime movie. Like a fucking four year old mom. I should have leave my shirt on. Turn the light off and I'm leaving my drawer on okay

I have a towel with velcro in my house I have a towel of velcro that I wear it's like a skirt a man I bought it for a $4 that TJ Maxx. It's a polo towel And you put it around your top and I put it around my bottom and it's I just have my junk on it I said a lot of times I'll fuck with it Don't hate it. She's like why do you wear the fucking skirt? You're homo So so you fuck again. Yeah, was it did you come again? Yeah, get the fuck It's me first time you can probably look not the first time for her, but first time with him

No, but was it the first time he banged you? Not the first time for her, but the first time with him. No, but was it the first time he banged you? It was, but I know my body. I know my body and I know how to come. I can't come when a guy goes down to me. That's why I'm not that keen on it, because I'm like, I'd rather just come. It's because he's throwing up.

Who lies this so much extra skin down? That was a little more than I thought. That was really good. That was really good. Thank you. I'm not second up, because I can't run. I can't run. I'm so gay.

But I know my body, so I't listen to this guy, come on. I'm so gay. But I know my body, so I know that's, like it's me. I'm pushing it. Because you're a person. I do have passion. I want you to fuck me again. I'm getting that gay.

So you suck this dick again? Yeah, I did. So you tasted your own pussy? No, it's sexy. No, because we're in that. I like what a girl likes it. Oh, you took the condom off if you like it. I like it. I like it. Oh, you took the condom off.

You first sucked it again. Yeah. You didn't suck the little girl. Because I want him to get there. Yeah, because he was kind of half-hard. So I just put him to the. So you popped the thing off and it's just. Hey, we waited a bit.

And then that. Did you wipe his car cover? You let the come dry? Maybe he wiped it. Not in my bed. So it was just, whoo, come and push. Please suck the, you suck the little come. I didn't taste like, but what it's a I didn't say it's like fluff another I see sucked his dick. Yeah, and then you got it hard. Yeah, I had to get pole positioning in

Really what the fuck is that like back in line like race cars She had to fuck you from behind I know what what did you know? like race cars, and then you'll pull those things out. So she had a fucking front behind. No, uh... How much is that? What, what did you know? They repositioned for the race. They get ready to race again. It was a joke that felt like, why are you just playing with the whole joke?

I fucking hate that joke. And then another water can be fucking mouth. It tastes like shit from that joke. Sit it up. It's because you made me explain it. Anyway, yes. Because I didn't get it. No, and then I went on top again, and then we did a little bit

from behind, and then I went on bottom and... Can you pass me that Kelly? And can you stop being nervous when you're telling me the story? We'll stop wrapping my expensive head. She's horny. She's actually closer. And that's why she's playing with the cord.

Go again, pop position. We go right. So you fucked again. He came again. Yeah. Get out. You saw it. He didn't fake it.

Wow. He fake it. He did. Wait, in the guys defense or what do you see you? No, I Would be like taking out a billboard. I know like that you and Phil have the same fighter fuck shadow I'm saying if it's the guys first time with a hot chick then yeah, you can do it two or three time It's not as first time with Kelly

Yeah, that's right. That was anything. That was white. I had mine on the chamber. You had yours. And I heard you bang, but I still put my just shut each other. That's all that happened there. You were still there. No, no, no, no. I took the condom off the second time

around. It was coming there. You you checked if there was time. No, no, no, I took it off. Kind of weirdo does that. Like the end of an autarpop. She's like, uh, there it is. So you did come again. Was it the same

Oh Jesus Christ, you know, I'm fucking not kidding. Did you just write on the fucking dumb no? Yes, the right under the table. I will fucking I will fucking fight you. I will not settle down I will not fight you're getting stupid settle the fuck down I will not fight you you're getting stupid settle the fuck down the fuck down Biscante you get not alive shut the fuck up Not your fucking father all right shut the fuck up and settle down Just talking to Mike when you get something to say and that's it and at the end you get to sign all right You get to do promos and all kinds of fun shit your nine-year-old Hey buddy

You Got the fuck up Scott is a fucking these like a nine-year-old what comes in am I out of my mind? He's on fire Happy to see you guys Back okay, so you didn't spend the night you just fucked up and left Dan ask me Geno Pisconda wants come on the show again. No, I know where Johnson, please tell ask me if Geno Pisconda wants come on. Let's go you know, I can't wait till I just show up and buzz on a Tuesday afternoon. They let anyone in.

Yeah, they also kick a lot of people out. No, they'll kick you out. No, they won't. No, no, no. I want to go back to Red shoe diaries with Kelly Crestupa. No, we can't give a commercial. Yeah. All right.

This week on Red shoe diaries, an immigrant, finds an uncircumcised penis in the lower east side. Oh, you got a fuck me? You got a fuck me? You got a fuck me? You put your fuck me? Would you, so you fuck, and then what did you do? You snuggle, and then you do?

We snuggled for like, you know, 10 minutes, and then I went home. You snuggled? I went, and then I went home. And your time was fucking hugging people? No, I don't. No, but I wanted to go home on to time was fucking hugging people. No, I don't I know I want to go home on to sleep in my own bed That's awesome. You have a bed. Yeah, oh clone you. Yeah, wow. That's good. So you fucking took off

Are you gonna see this guy again? Maybe does he have a good job? Yeah, he does yeah does calm stuff Internet stuff, that sounds safe. Well, she just he fucks Australians and puts pictures of them on the internet My my Aussie bang The geno points to be when they get a good one hey coach Never coming back Don't tap your feet said it that for you. Oh, yeah, that know? Don't tap your feet. Said do that for you. Oh, yeah. S.T.'s downstairs relax with your feet.

She doesn't hear me. No. Hi, S.T. Hi, S.T. I wonder why. I wonder, I'm your friend. I don't like it. Jesus Christ.

You always turn my calls. I do. Oh, we can't. This guy fucking scared me because when I was texting for the show, he wrote a message that went, I said, said, what kind of drink do you want? Okay, oh daddy like daddy like daddy like and it's the shit out of me. I texted Dan going What the fuck is this mean? What did he write this to you?

I used to say back home. Oh daddy like What were you the wanderers went back home? I never met him before 57 daddy like daddy like daddy like Don't whiskey daddy like I know I didn't met him before to freak me out. I was like, yeah It's good. He's like he's awesome. He's really freaking out. He knows a rapist. Whatever deal with it I like you have a girl right? Yeah, yeah for a while right? Oh, why oh how long? God eight years really? You get married man. We're at the final time. What are you living? what do you live in Brooklyn?

You live in now. Yeah, I thought you lived in like Maryland or some shit I do a I do a trivia show like every other week in Delaware like all big stars do that just me rubbing your nose in my You do a trivia what the fuck is that because that 85 You do you play Clue to God do you know host bingo You do you play Clue to God do Gina host bingo I won't do that in case you hurt. I don't do that no more Gina's got a great. Oh my good to bingo marker

10 years you keep waiting for Gina's girls hot too, man. Yeah, she's way out of the way, but she's crazy. This is that way. I lay you pen above your I'm crazy. crazy. No, I have my shit together. I don't understand you're a fucking loon and you're a good looking guy handsome Big red go Long for this yeah, you really do you fucking should be protecting the environment Drinking Pepsi with milk you fucking home only raising you had me on, so you could do the big, or good, you know, no, no, no, no. I had you on, we had you on, because I want you to, you, his voice, Gino's voice, as long as I've known him.

If anybody should have his own radio show, it should be Biscante. Listen to this fucking natch. He's always telling me, I don't have to care for your weather on the nine stupid voice lottery, whatever. He's listening to that voice. It's a good voice. whatever. Listen to that voice. It's a great voice.

It's a fantastic voice. Hey, you got to read the weather. Let's read the weather. Watch this. This is how great he would be as a weather reading. So this is, you know what, dudes? Radio show, if we were radio show. Monster voice, we're going to kick it over to the weather for

Juno Pascante. Well, hold on, I'm googling a new voice. Oh, it's a first weather man ever. Hey, do a helicopter. You don't talk until he announces you. Okay, let's go get it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, spraypatered on all over Brooklyn. Hey everybody, and we'll be back in two weeks after we regroup. Now we'll be back next week, and we're gonna fucking turn this clock to our end.

If you like Gina Biscontes, you email us at ykwd at riotcast.com. If you don't like him, please email Gino. What's that? What's your email? Just a Twitter me, Gino Biscontes. Oh please. By the way, I've been friends with Gino. What's that? What's your email? Just Twitter me, Gino Biscanti. Oh, please.

By the way, I have no idea. I've been friends with Gino for like five years, which is at least, I have no idea how to spell that. Biscanti? Gino Biscanti. G-E-N-O. We were talking about that. It was B-I-S-C-O-N-T-I, but when my relatives came over, they made it in E, you know, because that's a thing.

So it's E. It's Biscanti, B- honest. I love the fact that you told Lewis how to spell Gino. Yeah. So racist dumb Spanish guys. I was hubbla English, but my real name is Eugene. Alright, so right now the YKWD we're going to add a little weather to the program, a little weather and news. Also, don't forget to listen, all morning, this week, Jen in the bear giving away $10,000 now we're going to go to the weather with Gina, but you know, you got to do the bear though Jen in the bear.

Oh, 421 weather beautiful day for you guys you guys you guys say hey guys hey buddy. Hey, Gina, what's going on? Good, good. How about how about those uh Blacks playing basketball down a horse? This is Gino in the chopper a beautiful day here people 79 degrees in the city Here's your drive time traffic mix the clouds and sun high today of 76 winds five to ten miles an hour coming out of the east Speaking of coming out. How are you doing Dan? Few clouds low of 69 tomorrow. First day of summer gonna get Gonna be very hot. In the upper 90s, 97 is the prediction. The record's 98 degrees, but we're gonna see how that is.

Speaking of hot and sticky, how's everything with you, Bobby? I know you switched your budget for the grief. Oh, do you know? You don't try to lose weight. I'm on the medifast. We can do it. I'm a prox brunt or the show. Oh, God.

You're trying to lose weight. I have a tape of dust and CD that makes me lose my appetite. Hey. You do have my act Not remotely Oh Wait a minute what is he really do you jokes? No, he did oh you've done a couple name what what's this science fiction Yeah, I wrote that way before you which one the one about the cause who shows science fiction channel

Okay, I did that way before you do we talked about this. Yeah, it's a joke. All right his okay My joke We talked about this. Yeah, it's a joke. All right, his okay, my joke Don't make me do this. What are you gonna do to me? What are you gonna do to me? What are you gonna do to me? What are you gonna do to me Bobby? Bobby? Bobby? I'm just gonna decide who wrote it Bobby. Yeah to be fair. Yes Boxing intros Hiding under the red corner Hailing from Texas with four years Hailing from Texas with four years subranny under his belt. He is currently the cowboy of Manhattan. Dustin the sheriff.

Ray Fad. And in the blue corner. Originally from Delaware and parts unknown technically vinylin New Jersey He's been on the podcast for five minutes and set a combined 30,000 words He is the current weatherman for the you know what do podcasts. Thank you very much Geno podcast. Thank you very much. Geno. Whipple.

Please scum. There's a very cold. I just hit my head. I can sound effects. Big Ming. Tell me the joke. We're going back to the lantern by the way No, no, that's important Caroline's of the comedy cell. No, no, it's important I'm not gonna stand up New York. I was passed the cell

No, it's a joke. We you know when Hillary was running for president. It was you know, she's hang on one second what that's Bill Clinton's wife it was you know she's hang on one second what that's uh... bill clinton's wife but we talk about the same night you got you fast sometimes people let me know what i got i'll call i and s on you right now but you're about your shit and i got a green cat i'm not gonna do to you

let me take it back further it's actually not hillary what it was, was they had a televisual show that came out. As a televisual show that came out about a female president. She was, I don't remember it, it was on NBC or something. And the thing was, female president, you know, TV show, yeah, running for president. It should be on a science fiction channel. That was my, ladies in gentlemen of the jury. Can I finish myself?

Yeah, I finish myself. This is on NBC. It should be on the science fiction channel. Did you get a joke about Cosby having the kids, you know, being a doctor? Let me finish. Can I finish? Let him finish.

About being a doctor, a black guy being a doctor, a female being a lawyer, a black female lawyer. That should be on the science fiction channel. Now. Are you done? Yeah, I think so. OK, now. Sorry, you don't have any.

Ladies and gentlemen, the jury, I would like to offer into evidence the IMDB. I would like you to check when this TV show came out called The American President. Yes, sir. I believe it was 2003, 2004. I would also like to submit into evidence my CD. This isn't what I do for fun, which we know if I want to fun or not doing abortion clinic with the packet condoms and you're MI2 late. It didn't mean to bring up your prom

belly. If you listen to me, you are the happiest radio guy ever. And we're not even radio. We're a podcast. To strike my point. I have to strike. I also do domestic violence. My point is, if you look at what my CD came out with this joke on it, it came out before the American president ever aired. I, now I ask you, what kind of magic bullet punchline is this? Then he wrote a joke about a show that aired after my CD came out. And here's another thing. I apologize.

You got it. I'm I am DB when this fucking can you prove that can you prove this Judge is talking to you right now just got dusty dusty. I don't like Geno have you You know if you've been known to maybe lift a joke no Does anyone here think I live jokes I'm honest with all the Really I will follow I've never in my life. I don't but you talk too much so I do That's fine, but honest to God like I've always said this if anyone goes into it

Honest I honestly think you did it you've admitted it. No, I honestly think- You admitted it. You've admitted it to me. No, I'm just going along with your gag, but I've never stolen a joke. I think that's the worst thing you can do. Actually, your jokes are probably the worst thing you can ever see again. That's a good one. That's a real good one. David, he even steps on my joke. You don't shut the fuck up. I'm defending myself here. You make me sick.

Sorry, buddy. That's a darn about it. I did think you were doing it consciously. I just think you could. No, that's a fancy been work. Here's a thing. I'm not a pop out. I'm just going to say something.

I want to say something. If you accuse somebody or say that somebody's lifting a joke, everybody always goes, well, I'm not saying you're really doing it. If he's doing it, he's fucking doing it. And I would want to be called out on that. Look at the day. Look at the day Louie thing he claims it wasn't conscious that was a premise that wasn't a joke a joke no that was a joke that was similar to the wall the premise the one about the guy on the street was rare that was pretty much the same joke about look out whatever it was a it was the same

joke was also the name your kid anything yeah but that was the same Martin same premise. Yeah, but Steve Martin did the joke before any of them. You can go back and find out. Yeah, no, you could keep doing that all day. I mean, Red Fox wrote a joke called, you know, I hate Blight. I like, I like, I like, uh, Blight people, but I hate Negroes. Like, he did that joke. What? That was Red Fox.

He did. I like Blight people, but I hate Nees. He has Gino. Well, why do you believe him out, Bobby? He said, what, I don't like either of them. Why'd they dump that? You know, that's that from. Stop it.

I was going to. I know that. Like, we're on the radio. I would think if anyone thought I saw jokes, they'd be like, Hey, asshole, don't do that. I didn't think you still. You got that look. I didn't think you still look. I'm just hearing for the first time. I did this joke about hitting woman with a chicken and saying, I like it. You and I do a similar thing, like, and Ellie does a similar thing. It's just when you do those kind of jokes. They've been

Yeah, it is hack it is hack it is hack You're doing race jokes. I'm doing race jokes so though. You can't really a stereotype is a stereotype It's not gonna be you know do you steal jokes? Never but here's the stop stop. Do you steal joke? No? By that you cool with that Wow, I don myself by you buy that you cool with that Wow I don't think you still jokes and I would never do that the way deeper thing I care about you and I would never do that I know but that's what I'm just saying go with the joke

But I here's the thing. I'm not saying you're saying I don't steal jokes I don't but I'd like to think that you know that you know that you always comes up on everybody's microphone Literally everybody's like to think if anyone thought I was like, like I've had jokes or similar to others, and I just stopped doing it. In fact, once last time you heard me do the Cosby joke. I just don't like talking about it. Way too soon.

That's it. Well, there was a joke too. I mean, similar stuff like that. I had a joke similar with a few guys about, Osama been lauding and all that shit, and the girls with the thing, it was Afghan girls gone wild where you lift up the thing, you know what I had?

Yeah, I had some, well Adam Hunter, there was three other people that did it. I did it on TV and then there was three other people that did it on shows with me in LA after. Ronny Love did it in front of me. I was like, that's, I was like, you know what, this fucking joke is too universal. It's easy.

Yeah, that's like, remember, Armageddon, is that the one with the black president? Oh, no, that was deep impact. Deep impact, had the black president. You know what he's talking about, Kelly. There was a, there was a black guy deep impact. Ding. Black president.

Science, picture, child. You know what, sci-fi. I'm with you, do you know that? I thought that was funny. I'm like, fuck it, I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing. I'll take you, I'll you know that that was funny? I'll trust the Mexican. I know Puerto Rican Probably Dominican, but let's rap an Ellie joke. They had out There was a it goes I 100 foot wave the whole world ending because of a friggin Asteroid I can buy all that I can buy all of it but a black president come on That was a joke that went around a lot of people had to like five or six people at me closer. Is he really no?

Yeah, I know can I beat jokie, too? What is the new joke then I joke but they did serious when I do it So I don't think that you're a fucking, even if you did the joke, it's so out there you can't really fucking, you can't. We always joke about it, but I don't defend it because I think it's ridiculous, you know? And I don't think, I think if Dustin really thought that and I'm defending you now, we wouldn't be buddies. No, we're not buddies though.

Dustin doesn't like it. No, no, nobody in this room likes you. It'd be funny if I ran out of product. If you cried, it would make me so happy. Hey, look, I'll be the first to say, you know, I was a dick for thinking that if that's the truth, that's the truth. We can squash that on the show. There's nothing wrong with squashing.

And don't say that I'm backing up because if that's what happens, I don't think you're backing up. I'm just saying, no, but you're saying that. When you give somebody an excuse, when you give somebody an excuse, when you say, so you accuse somebody of something and then you give them the excuse to actually do it, and get away with it, fuck that. You don't wanna squash it, that's fine. That's all I wanna do, is what.

I don't think that you go like this. You know, well, maybe you didn't know, fuck off. If you're like, that's like the old thing. That's true, you're right. If I know you, you fucking know me. Don't pretend not to fucking know me. But the point is, if I really thought, that makes sense.

Did you seem real and honest about it? So obviously, I just thought, because we were at the lantern and I did it at the lantern, so many times you were there. I liked this. And then I saw you do it at Broadlight, Caroline's and then I was just like, you know, just maybe that's making real.

But I have to do it forever. We just all notice, we just all notice that there's an heated debate, there's both sides, and we just, I'm in it, everybody's in it. We just gotta notice that neutral Dan will not speak Where serious? Well, here's the thing they both book me God I don't look at no fucking heat are Right

In their own way, but you understand like we do shut up. But the thing is, we are so similar that I won't put you on a show. I'm on just because we do some of the same types of jokes. I won't put you on the set because it's so redundant. And I'm not passing the clubs. You want to put it. It's so redundant when we're on the same show together. You know what it is. I used to book shows and I use to book both these guys on my show back in the day I don't I don't think you guys are similar at all. I really don't I don't think you know that much about you know Postard off. Trust me, man.

After paying attention. What the fuck? You wonder why Martin doesn't if it's does it as mad aggressive today? No, Dustin is Dustin is Dustin. This is Dustin. I'm sure he speaks is mine. I mean, maybe right.

You don't know how to do it anymore. And that's a good thing. You don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. You don't want to do it. I don't want to do it I'm pretty good. Yeah, I heard it was pretty good for my friend With the budget you had to work with pretty good You had to work with pretty good

Your allergy forecast today grass No activity for weed See there you go Understand like this what I mean like the reason we don't we never really addressed it is because you but a good comic is always writing another joke Try and be attention this loose, but if you don't, worry about like the people that- I would've dinged that if you didn't fucking like it last. But the people that really bitch about someone sitting there jokes, I've always said,

and I think we all agree, that's why we joke, is because if you're not writing new jokes, then you're like, I've got to protect this joke. It's mom. I don't do it anymore, but I think- Well, this is way out of that. Wait, what, right jokes? There's a way out of that.

You'd have to have done it to stop You had to give me back it was good it was good It was you can actually write personal and you don't have to fucking when you write personal the shit that only happens to you Yeah, instead of looking in the newspaper stupid story about chicken and hitting a girl with a go-on Bobby Oh, I mean, I'm gonna let people laugh if they laugh. Yeah, they're not going to I trust our friendship enough to bring it up. Right. And you know, I, this is supposed to be a real show.

So I had to bring up something. It's not like that's our clothes. Like, we're supposed to be real. Like, we're supposed to be honest. And I love it. But it's not like we're digging in like, oh, that's our clothes. It's not like we're sitting there saying

it's like, I haven't used that joke in five years. I get it. I just, you know, he still closes with it. I don't do it anymore. It's on my CD. Wait, can I do this joke if nobody's doing it? It's a great joke. Are you really a CD or a tape? Let's just be real. It's on CD-Badie.

He's gonna eat right there. I can't single. Gina was gone to it. Where is it? And I'm working on a second one. And his mom's basement. If you take out the word, not, not, it's only like 20 minutes. But if you have two CDs, Joe DeRose has three. We get it.

You can just make a CD. Why do you hate on that, bro? You just like black and white? I don't copy it's it was taped in a Salt Lake City, Nevada. There you go I see Nevada What a fucking dumb dumb you play Geno's big Big boy George

That's what we do next we play a little piece of Geno's album hey CD baby It's right now, but you got to play on one of those big record players with the big cones as a really How does a big cone make it's money really eight track would have been fun This is not bad. I can give you a VH I can give you a PhD S tape of it. I thought we were all doing old modes. I love I love the fact that this is just getting really vision I'll tell you who fucked it up. I'll tell you brought in the shit the Puerto Rican this fucking podcast was vibing fun We're all laughing and then you know who fucked it up. It's gonna be me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry There's no black people here There's no black people here. I'm There's no black people here. I'm

God see you can't see them you're really gonna focus Jesus Christ The medicine we're gonna wrap this up. No, no, no, no, no's not black. He's the medicin Dust I mean fuck what's your name? Although I used Dustin name in my intro You gonna be wearing a cowboy hat soon. No, where is business? Oh, we know I know I know Soda's riding shotgun. Okay, shoulders on his shoulder really you know your co-host name showed her killed it. I mean there's a buzz about the Montreal Chicago You're fucking annihilated. Oh Chicago. Yeah, not really yeah Neutral Dan when everything else except compliments for you you fucking dumb dumb Dan, when everything else except compliments for you, you fucking dumb dumb.

Just like thank you. Yeah. Anyways, Gina, wiki, you see, just go to CDbaby.com. CDbaby.com, what's the name of it? What's the name of it? This is what I do for fun. This is Gina Biscante, you got a website?

GinaBiscante.com. Where are you doing bingo next? Hahaha. Quiz, though, I'll be it up. He's hosting a mud wrestling tournament in I mean, stand up in New York this week. Stand up in New York. Right. Where are you Dustin? What's going on? What's going on for you? You can also buy his CD on Dustin Tristan dot com.

I'll be at stand of New York too. See that's that's gonna be the test this weekend. We should. Yeah, that's a good test. Let's go to the test. Now you're all redundant. Come on. The five o'clock. Okay. All right. I Louis, where are you going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it.

You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it.

You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. You're not going. Oh, I'm so wow. I shortened it. Gomez comedy.com and at Louis J Gomez on Twitter, the only thing that I got big coming up,

I'm going to be doing the maim festival crews in December. It's ducking out of Miami. So it's a big cruise with hate breed and lamb of God and a bunch of metal X and me. So yeah, it's pretty awesome. Guys, I'm checking my podcast hammer fishing dot com if you're an MMA fan. Funny. He's one on the fucking But for every other fucking MMA podcast sucks. We have the best one out there. It's really good. Check it out right cast dot com

All right, let's say thanks some unofficial sponsors want to thank laugh button laugh button live It's just laugh button laugh button. Sorry laugh button. I want to think laughs fin. We want to think yowzer fitness If you're a fat fuck go to yowzerowzerfitnis.com, get yourself a nice treadmill. Go to gorunner.com. And I want to, I want you guys, if you guys, we have this new studio now, we're gonna actually try to fill it with some fan stuff. So if you guys want to send us something

that we put on the table on the wall or in the studio, please send it to us. Make sure it's not fucking anthrax or, a fucking knife with blood on it. You can send it to 676A, no spaces, 676A, ninth Ave, number 424, New York, New York, 10136, YKWD, or Robert Kelly, you can send it under

and we'll put it around the studio so when we take these photos that we're taking every week with with fucking Harry Phil gay Joe and Fucking sexy Linda you guys can you'll see your stuff in the studios. Whatever you guys want to send And it can be to anybody in the show It's Tatiana coming back in touch. Tatiana might be coming back Yeah, we had it. I don't know if you've noticed on Twitter on Saturday night I mean who had a little conversation on Twitter about what? Where we dead each other. If she comes back,

I'm gonna have to show my other team my tears as well. If you show your teeth, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, if I come back and, I'm, I'm out of steam. I'm out of steam. I can't, I can't, I can't, I want to make sure that we, I want all of fans right now to make sure you go to iTunes, review, and subscribe. I don't give a fuck if you get it off my app or you get it off of Riotcast. Go. You're award-winning at Bobbie.

Or award-winning, you're absolutely right, you. You're welcome. Thank you, Gina. Please, go to iTunes, review, and subscribe, because that's how we can stay on the top 100. We actually want to try. I don't know if we can, we got enough listeners right now. We only have 400 reviews I would think, okay? Which is a lot, if you look at other people's reviews,

that's up there with, you know, burr and all these guys. Not really, but, you know, it's kind of there. But, uh... Very funny, Bobby. That was very funny. But, ding. Uh-huh. We, if you guys subscribe and leave a review, all in one day, we just shoot to the fucking top.

So I say July 4th weekend, right? What's that day? You got to count around the morning. It's a Wednesday. Is it a Wednesday, fuck that. Let's do this, let's do this, ready? I think I have a trivia show. The seventh is the date that you're on the vagueness.

Why don't we ask it as a trivia question and you can answer it? Okay, listen that weekend Let's do it on the 5th July 5th the next day after July 4th as you can figure that out a few days Thursday, but those of you scoring go to iTunes and subscribe and review. All them one day. Let's get a fucking million of them in. Let's get around a thousand of them in so we can shoot to the top and stay out there. Because then people will see us. We'll get a bunch of new listen, keep

spreading the word and all that jazz. And I want to say a very special thanks to Dan Soda and a happy birthday. When you happy birthday. When's your birthday today? Hey, thanks buddy. What's your birthday today? Today, four, four years, 248, my ex-wife Donna. Hello. How old, everybody?

29. 29, man. When's your birthday? On Sunday. Sunday. Well, this would have played already. Partly cloudy, Sunday with a high of 79, low 66. She has a precipit, a dammit.

Yeah. It might rain. I'm going to a zahm. with a high of 79, low 66, chance of precipitation, precipit- Ah, damn it! Yeah! It might rain. Oh, I'm going to a zahmosh now. Peanutsah, mush now, Peanutsah, mush now. Ha! You take that back! Oh, just this probably.

You just scream, you just ruin the podcast. I show you. A happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Dan. So do Alex Smith as a joke. The Niners have no shame. Happy birthday to you. Harvoss lost the clubhouse for chasing Baton Manning.

And many more. And Gina ruins everything. We're trying to something nice. I'm going to see the Alabama shakes in Central Park. The band I was telling you about it South by Southwest. Yeah, that's great. I want to thank the fans next week. We're actually going to thank, I don't have these, my computer, so I can't thank them.

Color Bams. Do you want to ask that's great? All the fans that donated, we're actually going to be doing video soon. We're going to be actually adding Ustream video, live videos. When we do this, we're going to be filming it. You can watch it. It'll be on you stream.

And that's directly from the donations from the fans. Donated money. We got enough money to actually buy some cameras. So you guys want a live video. You're doing what we're doing. We we're going to be adding that very soon. So what else Kelly? Bobby, can I give a can we give half of Dan's present to him now? Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just, showing him. All right, my off. Yeah, good. You all right. I think I have a good job in the bathroom. Kelly, you take it or close off?

Oh, good. Well, there's something else coming. All right. But one thing that you can use from now, from today, is we made you a website. What? Yeah. We can't get to it because the internet is down.

But when we go downstairs I'll show it to you because you put your own domain name so I'll show you when we go downstairs how to put your domain name in there and you can update it yourself or teach how to use it. You're real calling. Happy birthday baby. Let's do it. Don't lie to him. This is great. It's a great present. It's just a... Kelly put that together. Yeah. Thank you Kelly. Isn't that nice? I appreciate it. That's a wrap. Theige probably would have been better. No, thank you very much. That's all I had. Honey bun one day. I just want to say, Gino, thanks for being a man. This is done.

But I thought we were always buds anyway. No, we're not. It was something that was in my head and it's like the way you defended it. It's my special day. I had to do it. I'll have to be both dead. That's all I did. It's over. I'm I had to do it. I'll have to go. That's all. I'm glad that I can feel your podcast right. I'm glad you two hacks worked it out. But don't step on Dan's beat that. No, what ever. The kids 29. You got a whole life to be disappointed. Actually, somebody passed away. We're really going to get a little serious. I just want to let a lot of people be an emailing me from Melbourne about something

happened this week. And I just want to give him of people been emailing me from Melbourne about something happened this week And I just want to give them a shout out of shout out. Stop one second. Let me just turn Gino's mic down now. I Didn't know because I really don't want to publicize it on Facebook because people are like asking me what happened What happened? It's just that way they lost a very Amazing person on the weekend. They died in a car accident Gavin camp. So I just wanted to give a love to his family And his new wife has been married about married about six weeks and I know it's a massive hole massive hole in the Melbourne County community so I just wanted to

send out from the outside the world some love the YKWD podcast is all about jokes and being mean and having laughs sometimes we we had known a serious note like a great comedy shows like All the Family. Good time. But by the way, can I just, now the moment's over, right? Well, I guess it is. Oh, I'm fine.

How did you set it? I mean, you're gonna fuck, what are you gonna about when you're shitting off? That's why I left it to last. Lewis, I'm gonna ask you. That was a lie. We went through everybody 40 minutes of math. I mean, it was distracting that she kept on saying massive hole

I turn your mic up for a reason Because Die you Hey guys out there in Melbourne Melbourne Melbourne Right, were they really I'm gonna see something nice about a take-out I even know and you give me shit about the fucking pronunciation Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up?

Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, what's up? Okay, we are here. We're about to do a tech talk with Bobby and friends. Yeah, I miss Joe DeRosa. We, um, we fucked up. We did tech talk. Uh-huh. We did tech talk last week, all the week before whatever it was in the middle of the show. Yeah. Nothing but bad reviews. Yeah. Nothing but hate. The only way we're going to learn, Bob, it's just they were like, why would you do that? It's just fucked up the flow. Obviously, I'm not going to just get a listen to you.

Mm-hmm. And fucking, it was you on it, right? I love that, yeah. Yeah, me and this fucking Dominican kid, this young little twink and fistokes. Quite a trio. Yeah. Yeah, who brings nothing tackled into the table. They said it would never happen,

a three of us working together. We proved them wrong. It is a little strange having to tech talk in the middle of the show. I listened to it and I don't think it ruins the show. I saw some of the negative feedback. It's terrible. But it was. Christians first time and he gets a fucking baiting on Twitter.

But it was cool. Well, here, did you get a pat? Did they like you? I just read the negative feedback on having the tech talk in the middle. So, and you compartmentalized all the other ones about you. I started crying after. So, we, so anyways, we're here. We're going to be doing tech talk at the end from now on. No more fucking around with it. It's going at the end and you're going to be doing it with me. I'm happy. Thank you so much. Because you are an IT guy. You're a fucking nerd.

And the other thing I like about you too, do you have an iPhone? I have a black bear, but it's just an iPod touch. You have a blackberry and an iPod touch. Yes. Right. That's a fucking nerd. That's a true nerd. Okay. Somebody who has like both platforms.

I just need a keyboard. I can't go.'t go one of those. I'm one of those. Oh, fuck you You could learn the curve you when you got that you were like it's too small I need a regular sized keyboard why is supposed to type on this? I hate blackberry uses I hate him when they're fucking both hands like Claude over the fucking phone like me and me and me and me I hate a little fucking cockroach sound of it It's just fucking reliable. It's so reliable. I just thought I did the sound effect and you both talk over it.

I thought you were doing looking pussy again. It kind of sounds like the joking off sound effect too. Very similar. I have to block that sound out sometimes. Every time I type in my blackberry, I get a hard on. Yeah. Because that sounds big. Somebody's fucking on fire. I wish this podcast was a podcast you get those jokes would fly

Sometimes where you know, they're just a regular hey, that was kind of funny This was so mean It's so honest. We're like oh shut up with that joke joke Anyways, we have I have what I'm gonna talk about today Kelly has nothing What do you got today? I have something kind of, I don't know if it's too simple, but I use it a lot. It's this app called Streaks for the iPhone.

I use it on my iPod Touch. It's a simple thing that you have all these calendars and each calendar has a goal. So I have like, a few examples, I have one for every time I write. The whole purpose of it is to build a streak of consistency. So if you want to, so I'll have like what do we have today? 19th. So I wrote, I spent at least an hour writing the 16th, the 17th, the 18th, the 19th. So it builds up a little streak. So it says, oh, you've done this four days in a row. So the whole purpose of it is to try to build as many streaks as possible.

Now this is the second little creative writing thing but you've brought the tech talk. Correct. So you're really, I should call foul. We should have a space between you. Let it, we get it. You're trying to be a better comedian. There's other stuff.

There's other stuff. No, but okay, go ahead. Okay, so there's, I do this, obviously, I do the same thing with standup. I do the same thing with exercise. I try to exercise as consistently as possible. Okay. Another one is I try to not watch porn.

Every time I don't watch porn, I give myself a day of like, oh good, you did it. You had the willpower to not watch porn. Why do you not watch porn? I hate needing to watch it. That's my problem. I don't like, like, I'm afraid of addictive behavior. So I like not doing things too much.

Well, what kind of porn does a little twinkie dark skin like you like? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You like in the butt. Uh, Aino's great. You like, oof. You like dick seconds? DICK SUCKING. Are you in the pan- Like, pivvy? Uh, no, I'm not, not excessively. I just hate, I love masturbating like anybody else, but I hate needing to. I like, no-

So this is more some type of, uh, self-control thing, more than it is fuck porn or fuck masturbating. No, no, yeah, I'm, I'm totally you about it. Yeah, I, I, everybody should do it, but- You just don't like needing to do something because it fucks with fuck masturbating. No, no, yeah, I'm totally you about it. Yeah, I've already should do it, but. You just don't like needing to do something because it fucks with who you are. Exactly. Okay, great.

Why not? That's cool. So this app is called what? Streaks. Streaks, and it's on iTunes, and you can find it there. And if you want to build up, it's almost competitive. Yeah, it adds a little bit of competitiveness, which is good.

That's like you against yourself. Right. And it gives you a goal. Which most people, you know, it's funny, because I was doing that boxing thing now. And today, he'll say, do 50 of these or 100 of those, a blob of blob. And I'm fine with that.

And I can get there. Sometimes I have to stop, but today he said, I want you to give me uppercuts. You know, and he just, I keep doing it, uppercut. I'm like, oh, the sun, it's like I'm at 100. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like 50, 150. I go, well, fuck and say that at the beginning, dude.

Don't, because I'm thinking 100, I made it to my, I need a goal, but I need a goal to get to. Yeah, yeah. Either I'm gonna quit or I'm gonna make it. But again, I'm gonna make it if you give me a point to go to. But in my head, I'm thinking 100. And then you can't be keep going. I'm like, I'm fucking done, because I'm gonna quit or I'm gonna make it but a guarantee I'm probably gonna make it if you give me a point to go to But in my head I'm thinking a hundred and then you can't be keep going I'm like I'm fucking done cuz I blew my nut on fucking 98 Doing it though cuz he wants to push you. Yeah push me with a goal

Like streak that extended push is what's gonna get you to Shredding it. Lose and way. You got Bobby Kelly. Lose and way. I'm sorry, I don't know the cues. I wouldn't clap for you. You get it, you get it. It's fun.

You don't know this. I remember, I didn't mean to interrupt, but maybe a year ago, I remember almost two years ago, I remember the first time I saw you at the seller, and you looked amazing. You did, but there was a... Oh, back, Christian hold back. No, you looked amazing.

But I remember watching you, and that was the first time I saw you live, and I remember you did an amazing thing. I was there with a bunch of other comedians, and you had this joke about young guys caring about like their hair or what they looked like and stuff and and one of my comedian friends was sitting up in the front roads getting Brian John. Oh, I know the story and you ruined you ruined his hair. I mean it was just like a great moment. I remember you just being like this bully and ruining his hair. Brian John has beautiful hair and And he's been up to him and I fuck you in your hair

and he's the best he's hair. And it made me happy. It was great. It was a good, great moment. He hates me. No, he loves me. He's a comic, he loves me. Anyways, I love you.

So am I. My, my, my, Jesus. Pizza's coming, honey. Kelly Getorni, wouldn't she sound great? She'll fuck anything. All right. I can't do dance voice. I can't do dance. Kelly get 20 when she's hungry. She'll fuck anything I'll do dance voice. I can't do dance. I'm talking. It's a it's a dandas. My favorite voice. It's the Slut nervous slut. Oh God, I wanted to I wanted to do two things. I wanted to talk about the fuel band

No, I'm kidding Some guy actually said I were enough with the fuel band. I wanted to the a lot of people ask me about, you know, how to do these podcasts. What are you to use? What are you, are you doing your podcasts with? Because a lot of people want to do podcasts, right now podcasts are hot, which I get, you know, it's a great way to, I mean, basically have your own radio show with your friends, whether 20 people listen or fucking 30,000 people listen like the, you know what, dude.

I'm the 20, 20 people listen to my phone. But you know what? It's fine. It's still a way to be creative and creatively think and you know, kind of get shit out with your friends and other people like that. So that's great. I love doing it. But a lot of people don't know how to do it. What I started out with, I'm going to go through the progression of my podcasting. I started out with my iPhone. You can basically do a podcast on an iPhone. The quality is fucking fine. And it can go

up on iTunes fine. If you want to do the record for an hour. The app that I chose which was pretty amazing to me because it does it you want to avoid when you record on your iPhone if you're going to do something like that to start out slow and to save some money is a lot of apps recorded way files or high MP3s or I mean no MP3s MP4 is a weird ship you want want to do MP3. That's a small file. It keeps it nice and tight. And the one app that does it is VR+. There's a free version.

You can test it out, and then there's the paid version. I see you just spend in the five bucks or whatever it is to get the paid version. But the great part about this is it does an MP3, and then actually you can email it to yourself. So you can email it to where you have to send it to put it up on iTunes. Then I moved on to,

that's Dan. Then I moved on to the actual Yeti microphone, which is a USB great microphone. It records, you can stick that in the middle of the table and pick up everybody around the table, just you, you and another person. It has four different options. It's by Blue, which is a supporter of the podcast.

You know what? Do podcast. So, yeah, that's my wife. Hang on one second. Let's see what this broad has to say. Hello. Hi. You're on the podcast, baby. What's up? Hi, Don. Where are you? I didn't walk. What? I'm fine. I'm fine. I didn't.

Okay. I'm doing a show. I'm staying down here. I'll be home late at tonight. I'm exhausted. Bye. What do you make of a dinner? Ah.

Anyhow. So, yeah, look at Dan's bringing the pizzas. Happy birthday. Anyways, yeah. So, the blue microphone is a little bit more than that. How um so yeah look at dance bring the pizzas Anyways, yeah, so the blue microphone is the Yeti microphone which And so do you have your yeti you love your yeti right? I started with the blue snowball The blue snowball hang on one second hang on you know let it cool off. I love Dan's a professional fatso. You really are. You open the pie, you came back with a pie.

That's your birthday pizza, by the way. Oh, thanks, dude. You, uh, my favorite place in the city, Joe's Pizza. Joe's Pizza is the best. Oh, it's so good. John's Pizza is good. Joe's Pizza is the best. Outside Steve told me about it. And's pizza is good Joe's pizza is the best outside Steve told me about it And he outside big head Steve. Yeah, big head

Here's the deal you call it told me about it, and here's a deal. I will not have a slice of that. You know why? Cuz Bobby Kelly is Losing way I'm not gonna do it. I'm not having the fucking pizza Don't do it, but anyways the blue microphone you have on it fucking great You want to do if you're on a podcast you're gonna do microphone you have on it, fucking great. You want to do, if you're on a podcast, you're going to do voices and you want to actually fucking great for skyping. But if you got a podcast, you want to spend a lot of money, 100 bucks, 150 bucks, get one of these yetis, throw it down, plug it into your computer, and hit record and garage

band, you can do a podcast with that. I moved on up to the zoom H4N, which you can plug sure 58s and have real microphones unbelievable. You can do up to four or five people with that. And then I actually moved up. We're up right now to the zoom R24, which is eight microphones can go into this motherfucker. You can use it. It's it's light as fuck It's 400 500 bucks very cheap still. It's on the cheap side You can I can have eight people on the fucking show like we've had in the last couple Yeah, it plugs into the computer so you can use it as a USB interface or you can just record right on the SD card if you want to

It's a fucking it is it's a beast right on the SD card if you want to. It's a fucking, it is, it's a beast, but it's actually very easy to use and if you guys really want to upgrade your shit, if you're gonna show with six people or more on it, the Zoom R24 is the way to go. So there you go, iPhone, Yeti microphone, Zoom, H4N and the zoom are two four Those are the things I used the progression of the you know what did Podcasts, so if you're gonna do a podcast you can always email me at ykwd at riotcast.com And I will help you out. I'll try. I know I fucking blow up a few people

I always remember emails when I'm like yeah, I'll help you out And I remember this dude dude I can't do my podcast It's hard it's hard to return every email. It's very hard then super hard super hard You are so I sent you an email. I don't even know if you I don't even know your name Christian Christian But I say you an email about that that the search protective thing that That you need help with yeah, and I didn't get a response and I'm like oh, but and I said and I said on email I was like here. He's the info for the search protector. Yeah, thanks again for having me on the podcast It was a privilege. Thank you so much. I'm like oh Bobby doesn't give a shit that I was on here

I do you're back. I want to go. You're back because of how experienced you are, how good you are on Tech Talk and you're on the podcast and that Dan has nothing. Nothing. On Tech Talk. Ever. That you will in a week when we get fucking laslo from RockstarVin.

I think I might have things for the next two weeks. I'll talk to you off air. Really? What are you gonna fucking do? Why do you keep talking to me? I got an ideal though. Uh huh. That's great. I'll talk to you off air really yeah, what are you gonna fucking Dildo why do you keep talking about it? I deal though It's great. It's great thing ever fuck my hole and I can check my email. I think I'm gonna get an iPhone really I'm due and wait for the iPhone 5. I was at the Apple story yesterday and they said

Probably not tell the holidays. Yeah, I don't know if I can wait that long. Yeah, I Haven't I phone for not a full rest you can borrow until the holidays That'd be pretty awesome. I can let you borrow but could they jailbreak it for Verizon? Me oh, yeah, we went through this. Yeah, I've been nice to you twice on this Both times like nah, I don't think so can they do that IT guy? I don't know I My iPod is jailbroken, but it's it's not's having a provider. So yeah, well, I just got the O6 update. Okay. So the iOS O6. Yeah, you can't you can't mess with us yet, right? I did I did it. I got it. Okay. Fucking great. I like the maps. I like all the stuff. That's kind of way that maybe I'll do that next week on

Tech Tech. I'll go through it all once I figure out the steps, but it's it's pretty good. A friend of mine on the interim net hooked me up. Okay. So see, you know what? I wasn't sure if we could talk about that, you know, hacking kind of stuff. Fuck yeah. I'll, uh, yeah. I mean, I do a lot of that stuff. So I'll, uh, yeah. Bring, yeah, stop bringing up though. You write. You're trying to get a career. This is a second week. And I really says apps on how to write and check yourself writing and make sure you're fucking a better person writing go Fuck yourself you a little fucking brown twink All right, so next week, okay, we're gonna talk some hacking. I'm gonna talk the IOS 6 on the iPhone and Dan might have something

Dan might have something Dan might have something He might have something other than a pointy nose I see you guys next week on Tech Talk With Bobby and Freen I can't stop you stinking stinking You know what I need I'm stuck in the market, I can't get more on the floor You know what I need For this fox I need fox on the moon You know what I need Don't stop filming my face.

Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face.