Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Just the Boys

Episode Date: May 12, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez, Joe List and Chris Scopo.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Questions here, not the great for barrage band. I don't know garage man Bobby kills me. Bobby's literally a fucking feature. I have no idea about garage man I show up changed the way we behave. You don't get in trouble. I come in I plug in my You go get in trouble. I come and I plug in my Hilarity electric guitar and then I will and Joe is on drums. He keeps the beat Kelly wants you to fail She's probably in the fucking bathroom hiding waiting for you to get in trouble. Look at her bean thinking about Chris getting fucking in trouble Oh What about Hanley oh, yeah, you should have felt him like you're drunk out of my fans. All right, right

My hand is not nobody's gonna know about Aaron Berg Oh That's not gonna do anything I need someone is gonna be like what master like the people who are family We just can't see why care be to be excited about. Yeah, we're going on. We're going on. It's the honest. Yonnes in town. He's always in town random wake you. Yonnes was in town. That'd be a good one actually. Yonnes. See if he's in town. So what about Becky? Own. Becky owns a maybe Sam or ill. Sam is a beast. Sam is a beast. I'm just sort of like I need a lot of people coming out there fans at this podcast. I'm ready. I mean I got it on I got a backup so we're recording on backup. So we're recording right now.

So this is the cutting the fat podcast that we promised at the... But Kelly's coming, isn't she? No. She's not coming today? Yeah. Oh. Ah! Ah! Ah! I've never seen a face so elated. I know, that car ride almost brutal.

Well, what about her? Yeah, I want to talk to her. Can you talk to her about Kelly? Ready, sir? Yeah. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Welcome, welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I was trying to keep it like a comic head.

I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. No topics, no directions. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said should I work with it?

It's rubber killing. You know what dude? You know what dude? I'm sure I've already said should I? We're crabby. It's rubber killing. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? I know what! I cast unblighted casted a guy. I cast a guy. I tried. I tried.

Broly. It's me. Oh, it's, uh, you know what, dude? Podcasts. Sans, rubber killing. I'm Monster Voice voice dance owner with the truth Joe list little early I know I do don't want to get right in early. I want to get into it Lewis Jay Gomez without sleeves on today Being a real ass dude trying to do a hair whip even though he has an adherence Clinton was an office

The Puerto Rican rattlesnake is bad. Oh, that's a good name. Why didn't we think that Chris Scopo got the he's anchoring down that desk chair over there. Puerto Rican rattlesnake is just a gardener. I mean the Hage is looking nice for you. Scopo, what's up dude? You're running the ship. Yeah, I'm not recording on Garage Band. Are we recording on anywhere? Yeah, we're recording. Should we be talking? We're recording on the youth stream. And. Well, those next people will be happy.

I like, you know, like those people who are always like, the one complaint about this podcast is that there's always people talking over each other. But Bobby warns you right in the intro. He's like, it's a bunch of people hanging out, dude. Like he says it right there. Yeah. Yeah, and they don't know how to be professionals, dude.

I have a bunch of amateurs. You should probably shouldn't listen to this podcast Dude you're gonna get frustrated easily dude. I just so mad dude Lewis Really you're look you're dressed like a drummer for like a really shitty band. Maybe you don't know this I was a drummer for a really shitty. Yeah, you're really fat drummer salty black flower Guys go look us up listen to slash salty black flower on the web. It's still there. It's just out there.

I'm gonna save all my pearls from when I know we're recording. Cause I'm looking at the computer. There's nothing happening. Yeah. The screen saver. I'm gonna blow a hammy when we're fucking. I'm gonna go too hard and I'll send it to go. I'm gonna be like,

he had brawl. We all got a little bit of a corner brawl. Do sorry. Dude, sorry. I got it, let me tell you something, man. Somebody tell you something, Lewis. Let me tell you something, brother. What? Somebody's gotta be mean to Chris Scopo here,

so I'm gonna volunteer. I've been being mean to Scopo for two days. I would love to jump in. I would love to jump in and trash Chris Scopo for his terrible tweet last night during the NFL draft. What was his sweetest? It's pronounced hair. There you go. There you go. Joe's on. What was his sweet? It's pronounced hair

Joe's on recording so I know we're not recording you know what that's like Joe just banged like a 30 foot three pointer in practice and everyone had just left and we're like No one was watching Scopo, what's going on over there buddy? I want to hear this tweet I don't know I really work work or I'll add band. Scopo, what's going on with the tweet? Scopo, you tweeted? Yeah, I was tired, what's going on with you? Yeah, I was like, Johnny Manzell is happy, but you know in the back of his head, he's upset,

he's going to Cleveland. I'm like, what? Well, he's just a tweet. I'm very literal thought. Yeah, it was just a thought. It was just a thought that he put on Twitter. I don't do the greatest tweets. Yeah, Scopo had a good tweet tweet and I will take partial credit for it.

Oh, please. Go play a good, I'll give you all credit before I even hear the story. He, uh, the tweet he said, uh, he's like, uh, tell me a joke. I was just, in quotes, tell me a joke is just show me your boobs for comedians. Oh, that's funny, which is funny. But here's the thing he should, he had a thought. He said some ridiculous thought. And then I said that to him.

And then I was like, scope, he should just tweet that, and then I said that to him, and then I was like, Scope, you should just tweet that. And then he didn't for two days. And I was like, Scope, well, I'm gonna tweet it because it's funny, and it was kind of like a combined thing. And then he called me a hack, and so he could steal my tweet, and I was like, Scope, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

if you don't tweet it right now. And then he didn't, he got 11 retweets, which is more than he's ever gotten for anything in his life. Well, two days later, it's not bad for him. No. Two days later, okay, we want to talk. Wait, hold on, timeout. Are we recording? Retweet was more than he's ever gotten for anything in his life. Well two days late is not bad for him. No Two days late. Okay, let's I gotta we want to talk a lot of time Are we recording? I don't know recording on don't we're recording on the back Let's go. You know what you can do Bobby's standing right downstairs go ask him while we're doing this if this is gonna be okay Yeah, cuz he's gonna fucking kill you if he's better

What happens he's gonna kill me well? It's the Have an hammer kill him. So what is the what happens he's gonna kill me? Well, it's the difference of if he punches you in the face or the body. Yeah, dude verbally not yeah, maybe physically do maybe Maybe he's hit me a couple times. Has he really did he threw the bottle at me one time really remember that I was here for that He went to go punch me another time, but I moved out of the way. I think he's a little unstable this guy. I imagine Bobby's like you know and Mike Tyson's punch out of the way. I think he's a little unstable this guy. I imagine Bobby's like, you know,

and Mike Tyson's punch out King Hippo, you had to make a mess. I mean, it's scumble back. I punch the X in the center of the stomach. Yeah, Bobby's got a tape X in his tummy, they just keep punching, and his pants drop. Brrr, brrr, brrr, brrr. So do you think, well, let's take a poll.

Are we recording? What's GarageBank? By the way, any of it means. Hey, you know what, dude, fans? You're welcome. This is the podcast you've always wanted. Oh, yeah, but they're not hearing it. No, I think they will here's the thing I think they're recording an MP3 file on Whatever that program usually using you stream so it's actually recording the MP3 same quality

But what they do is they do a backup MP3 file on garage band So they have two files being recorded simultaneously. Oh in case something goes wrong Exactly, then at one time we did a podcast with El Bobby and we tried just recording on you stream and that it got screwed up And we lost the podcast. Yeah, so I'm just gonna have it. Well, I'm saving at all my Or you just a bit of weird note. I don't know how to sing when people say you're off key I'm like I don't even know Kelly for duke It's supposedly took singing lessons it thinks that she can sing she also took Combo lessons hey You've been new comedy for eight years. Do we turned another I think I think she has a nice singing voice

What I don't know. Oh, yeah, crazy. I'm a hundred percent on his guys. She's not here right now. I'm being really serious with you She is a way better singer than comic She should go for singing She's like a Dell Boy like Susan Boyle If she gets good she'd like no, she's really pretty though. Oh women will think she's pretty but not no men. Yeah, she'll be like I don't know there's a phone ringing like a landline that wasn't even the door, right? No, that's a fun We dealt with this during hammer fisting the other day this thing was just going off like crazy

People are calling for cellar reservation Where did you kill scopal where's he at you take him out? Bar did you take scop out? What the fuck is he talking about? I don't know You look like a you look like a road manager from NWA Bob. He just walked in with blood down his hands on his face Oh Guys into the microphones we need scope like a w do it Wow when I was in eighth grade I watch a guy with the Dante Nero's fucking podcast. Yeah, the guy he has on that show Yeah, Harry Targini runs the fun Dante just fucking yaps. Yeah, and he brings it like a glass of coface

He drinks in the afternoon, but then you also got to be in her room with Harry and Mara Marrix Whoa, I like Mara I like, no, I like Harry too. I'm kidding. She's awesome. Louis just is the guy that was talking after the show No, we were just discussing how Kelly should give up comedy to be a singer because she's actually okay at singing is she She isn't I think she's better at comedy than singing Are you kidding me dude? Yes, are you She's a fine singer, but here's what happens here's what happens. I'm like this I'm like this. Hey, but and then she's like

I'm just forget I did it. That's always aggravating when someone does that, when you're like, just trying to even, even humming to yourself and then Kelly jumps in, like this is a fucking, it's actually a great Jessica Kiersten joke she has it. She's talking about the person who, when everyone's singing happy birthday, they just go way over the top and really try to sing.

Oh, that's funny. That's what Kelly does all the time. Yeah. Kelly was just over laughing on our drive back from the barbecue and it made me want to jump out of the car Keep it much. He's gonna listen to all this and hate us She gets to hate me. We need to have a reciprocated feeling. I feel weird just hating her Ah, you may call me her brother. It's weird. Does she really yeah?

Well, you I don't know. I think Lewis acts like he hates Kelly But then like Kelly watches James you guys are actually Kelly doesn't watch James Here's a problem Kelly Kelly acts like she watches James, but she's done it one time and then now by the way She's gonna have a I guarantee she ratted me out to Bobby because yesterday she said she First of all in the car she's rolling away. She said I might be able to do it. My let's talk in the morning We'll see what happens and Lewis by the way is Australian accent getting ready to get it improving You're gonna be a regular dance soda suit. Well, let's not get too high I got to set it to La Brea tonight at 9.30. I'm using the intro because off air LA Dan LA Dan

Hey, listen guys. I want you guys to come by table read. I got some people. I want you to me. They call them not done That's a bandana Give me the bandana. I don't even know what that was confused. But you're going for yeah Give me the bon danna. I don't even know what that was but you're going for yeah Bomb dinner is nowhere to be seen. Where's the bomb? Dana it's gotta be in Kelly's In the kelly skin you fucking it a skin grafted into it. It's like singularity with the robots It's just becoming one She's becoming one with the band-aid. This is gonna be bad news

We're gonna have to have a whole thing like guys's gonna be like, guys, I listen to the podcast. I don't like you. Lo-oo-oo-oo. I'm gonna go to the pool. Bitch, what a heavy sleep. No, yes, she said she might watch James. She's like, I'll call you in the morning. So then I ended up hanging out with Dave Smith.

And then we ended up writing yesterday. So he was like, dude, I'll come meet you. I'll watch James in the middle right right afterwards. So I didn't need her anymore. As your guys is writing, I imagine you're writing sessions. Are you guys just fake boxing for 30 minutes going. I probably know it's pretty funny I got on the train and his pants are all dirty and Dave's like Yeah, that is pretty funny. You guys know you've written with me. You know I do that during writing

This is David Lewis writing Dave's like so that's how we fix the economy and Lewis is like what did you say like this? Lewis goes yeah, okay, but if you said it like that, and instead you go, hey, what are you a faggot? You should probably call the, called a llama faggot. Call the Federal Reserve a bunch of posters. Lewis and I are writing something. Lewis shadow boxes while I'm typing right next to my face.

Oh wow. So I'm trying to type in this here. You just have fists flying right next to your face. Like, Lewis, don't do that. He's like, I'm sorry, I'm just, I get really excited where I'm right there. I get into a zone, I like to shadow box, like this little sweat going,

I do push up sometimes, it's the thing, I don't know, it's the way that I get my juices flowing, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Dan, we have a good product right now. I think there's a lot of it wrong with it. Garage man recording, I don't see any movement over there. Dude, Bobby's gonna beat you with a belt Yeah, so is it recording we can all the mic dude so nervous. Yeah, scopo. You're it's up crying first of all

Yeah, he's crying. Oh my god. I've never heard a weaker more timid voice Now he's gonna fucking yell at me real quick scopo. I want to clear the air between you. Let's take Kelly story But okay, can we finish that cuz I don't want to change something Yeah, let's get very 80 date we do yeah, so she said she'd watch him and then I was like all right We'll talk in the morning. I'll see what's up So I found out Dave could definitely come in the morning So I guess my phone had died so I was in paying attention to it so like 11 she texts Beatrice She's like oh, hey, mate. Do you need me and I be like oh, no, we have somebody else don't worry about it

So then I get a shitty Text from Kelly. She's like my you, if you can change the plans on me in the middle of it, you should just let me know because they all for me to get on Keith and the girl and now I can't do it. She was on it. Was she on it yesterday? So she made me feel bad about fucking

and she was on Keith and the girl. Or not being on Keith and the girl, but she was still on Keith and the girl. Yeah, this why I fucking hate her. That's Kelly though. That's a mean, that's a, uh, that's a fucked up thing for Kelly to do. Here's the thing.

It's like, if you would have cost her the Keith in the girl, I would totally be like, ah, man, that's fucked up. You know, Kelly, you know, I told her in the morning that I'd need her. It's not fucked up. Wait, you told her in the morning? No, no, be told her in the morning that I didn't need it.

Then what's the problem? She said, we'd speak in the morning and then we spoke at 11 and then that's a problem. We'll use the final one. Like it's not. Also, you have a baby things change. Yeah. It's a fucking child, you know, the doctor, the hospital, the thing, the baby. Dave's man. Dave's man. I don't have a no. So she got our Keith integral. So she has no argument again. She is no, she's no, she's just, she's

just trying to make you feel like shit. No, that's a Kelly thing to do. She wants to, Kelly wants to just kind of, there's never any realness to it, it's the time she said that you left shit stains in the bowl and you didn't. That's the same thing, that's the same exact thing. That's so LA. And if you guys don't even understand, when I'm like pooping in West Hollywood,

no one tells on me, because it's the fucking great of shit anyways. It's not cool. God damn it, you keep going back to that joke and it makes me so angry because it's so terrible Chris Copa by the way my favorite person to get pissed off is Joe list because Joe has a code He is a guy Fucking gentleman you are a man code, but you have a real old school approach to everything

We're like you're on time. You say please. You say thank you. Look to your elders. Don't speak and let's just vote and do I do feel all those ways Yeah, fun. I know I'm funny you that's what makes you so I chronically classic thing is guys. I had two parents That's just mean, that's just mean bro. Come on dog But so anyways, I want to settle the beef between you and scope Well, we went to Bobby's let me explain if. Okay, if anyone is on Scopo's side They're a fucking retard. Yeah, absolutely, but we have Bobby had a podcast Barbecue so everyone on the podcast list me Lewis Scopo

Kelly Kelly who's a lovely singer in a great comic theaterist That's let Sarah Sarah Tallahmosh Joe this girlfriend everyone's there all the babies Jane baby James baby Max all two of them all two babies and We show up in a max by the way. What you just bombed in front of them so you Pacing by by the way, I do by the way big phantom act to look take I'm murdered in front of them not I'm impressed Dan take the baby thing out of it. Okay, cuz I'm the same way if somebody doesn't like me Yeah, I just don't like them. I like everybody until I find out they don't like me Yeah, and I don't like a lot of people. That's that's how you can imagine how that went That's a bad news about it. It's a bad news about me 2007 to 2011

Joe was didn't like me until I called him up one day. It was like hey, dude There's this magazine that wants me to name a comic that I think is like the best comic. He said I was a zero I said he was one of my favorite comics in the world and then it's a joe list attitude changed where that's how it happens Oh, let me tell you something. That's a real Nate Bargatsy flip right there. Nate Bargats. Yeah, but every Yeah, but Nate really hates people until they go hey good set. Then he's like how he's a good day Here's where it's different. Nate just hates human beings. He's a yells, he's Puerto Rican, he's fat at the time. I remember terrifying.

I used to go to poster dog when you used to put me up at state of New York. I told list, I'm like, you gotta come by. Lewis Gomez showing this was like, I don't know, they seem very aggressive. Do I seem aggressive to you too? Yeah, you're flexing. Yeah. Joe. Joe. terrifying. I love your baby though. I want to hang them up with them. aggressive do I seem aggressive to you? Yeah, you're flexing

How fine. I love your baby though. I want to hang them up with them. I want to take them on trips Yeah, by the way, Joe is a great great uncle. Oh my god. Yeah, he killed it dude. Yeah, I killed Max He bombed with Max. I murdered man. I never know the max kind of a dick You're saying that because when you said hi to max he tried running to the other side of my like I was holding max and lose Like I'm max and max is like yeah, and just try getting away from the audience is feel like Kelly's comedy. Oh Man, he's gonna listen to this. It's gonna be terrible. She's had enough dude Kelly is great Max is the deck and I'll tell you why please you guys this after you guys left, we hung out for like another hour and a half. What? And Max and James were playing on the other side of the house. Oh, that was great. I'm taking a video and they're just playing. They're cute. James got a

tambourine in his hand. Max got a Moroccan in his hand and it's just adorable. And it's literally the one of the cutest moments ever. I'm like, this is great to James as a friend because James is shy around other little babies right now. So he really opened up with Max. I was like, this is great, dude. James is a friend. Because James is shy around other little babies right now. So he really opened up with Max. I was like, so excited. So the cutest little moment, James looks over at Max. Max looks over at James. And James goes to give Max his tambourine.

And he was like, it was like, here Max, you're my friend. Max looks up at the camera, looks back at James. And Max James in the face with his maraca. Hilarious. It was fucking brutal, dude. I mean, brutally funny. It was fucking brutal. I mean brutally funny or Welcome to brutally funny with the straight comas Hammer fizzing I like Max. I you know, I'd a good set. Okay. I'd a good set in front of him. I mean baby James

Kills it with adults. Yeah, but he he sometimes this some looks he gives you he does not like me terrified and I could you know Don't feel I have reason the same where he reason that Joe doesn't like max I have reason to think James James hates me James does not hate you did dude that and that picture on Instagram He's mean mugging me for Joe's birthday. I believe a lot when the cameras are on While Baby is looking at me like I am the biggest piece of shit if you'd'd like to see that, check out my Instagram at JoListComedies. When the cameras come up, just like Louis J. Gomez, the rattlesnake, the real ass dude, you're not the rouse Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake. Guys, there's nothing you can't carry a box of altites around and do that.

By the way, I was gonna take James' rattle today and Beatrice got mad at me, she wouldn't let me take his rattle from him. Yeah, because you shouldn't take your sons around. You should take fucking the rattle. Yeah, I'm gonna take his rattle. I'm gonna take his rattle. I'm gonna take his rattle. I'm gonna take his rattle. I'm gonna take his rattle. I'm gonna take his the way, I was gonna take James' rattle today and Beatrice got mad at me. She wouldn't let me take his rattle from him.

Yeah, because you shouldn't take your sons around. He should take fucking Max's rattle. He's like lethal. Just went just when... It's a weapon. When the cameras come on, baby James got to turn to a real ass baby. And he's not gonna like everybody on camera. That's your said, but we all know how to...

All camera on camera. So that's not being a real ass baby. Because a real ass baby would still hate me off Real-ass baby admits it that it's only for the cameras. No, you're real-ass Baby can't speak. Beatrice calls me real-ass dude sarcastically 50 times a week when she's like mad at me I was like, oh is that how a real-ass dude acts? I love it. Is that how a real-ass dude acts? I love it and Lewis that James can't speak. He says mummy says daddy. I believe he said Joe. I couldn't tell Might have been you you i don't know

that's probably you it's you that's some jewish quality is father that's that was saying around you he says up he doesn't say it at the right time certainly up is feed me more yeah up like you can say hat speaking of feeding you more

uh... luis luis real estate fed uh... his baby one full brownie. The entire cookout all together in you, and he was like, hey, how much brownie are you giving them? It was like, be Sarah, you and me all the same time. It was like, that seems like a lot of brownie. Yeah, the people without kids are like,

I don't know kids, but I don't think you should feed them the whole fucking huge brownie. It was a big brownie. How about you guys raise my baby? I love what that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, Joe wants it. So, do you really want kids my baby? I love that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Joe wants it So do you really want kids? No, I hate kids. I like other people's kids. Who you are you never want kids? No

Really they're very expensive. It's a lot of work. I think that Someone take my water. By the way, do you know that people who have kids make substantially more money than people that don't have kids? Oh, it's all balanced as I have to yeah, they have to But that look at you well, you know I don't want to be in I was gonna get insensitive but It's okay be insensitive be real well. He's gonna be insensitive with you. I was the true I don't care you You don't have a kid you get into be you can travel more you get nicer things more money

You can live for yourself. I like my life. I like living for My my own life. I enjoy doing whatever I want to do. With a kid, it's also a dangerous world you're bringing them to. 50 years from now, it could be a terrifying. Plus you and I are worried. Plates, I get worried and I'm also gonna... I'm also worried he's gonna inherit all of my fucking

negativity and I think that the studies that say people, your enjoyment of Life can go down There's a lot of studies, but there's also on the flip side of that There's also people who have kids who are like it made my life. It made me complete again They purpose they say that because you know, they want to you got a juggle beers. Yeah, what do you do? I drink three beers at once dude Oh my god.

You are just a real hunk of shit. Oh, this is a warrior's joke. Warriors! Come out to raise your children! Boy, that is a long way to go for that. Yeah. Well, I was setting it up. If you guys didn't stop your conversation, it was going to be funny.

I was sorry that we got confused, but you were pulling out three beers including an old duels What did we get old duels in here someone started feeling bad for you and I so they started let's get back I want to get back to you being upset yet Joe having a son would be hilarious Are you mad at me look it's just like looking around? I think it's all Society people just feel like I mean sometimes it's an accident Some people just feel like they need to have a kid and it's put Let me tell you it is you not wanting to have kids is against nature. That's just the truth And that's fine. I'm not saying that but here I had an argument with Dave Smith about this You're talking about I think that everyone should have paid maternity leave paid paternity

Well, we have way too many people on the planet now and and and over population is opportunity well we have way too many people on the planet now and and over population is incredibly overpower the problem so maybe nature is making me not have this is why cancer is on the rise mother nature is figuring it out dude it's a let me tell you something we are killing ourselves we will all balance it out it is it's the it's the way nature works well Kelly but I'm just saying like if you don't want to have a kid, you are literally fighting your natural impulses. I think it's almost like- Well, when she say it's natural impulses, not to wear clothes,

because when you're a little kid, you always take your clothes off. Natural impulses to be embarrassed. You're embarrassed, you don't want to walk around. I don't believe that. I think that's a societal thing that, that sexual repression is a very very I don't think that's natural I think that's why I'm trying to have an intellectual scientific conversation right now is

Here's the deal you new records gold listen in w a lot of white parents are upset at you Dad What's up guys Bobby Kelly? We just shit all over your baby no, I didn't I defended it cuz I'm a real ass friend I shit on your baby Lewis yes, I ended and I literally load her to the best thing. I'm sorry Testing an LA soda So it's so early LA. What did you say about my baby? I don't care for him And I said Joe doesn't care for him cuz he bombed in front of him when you weren't there He's so basic cuz he hit my son in the face with a Maraca. He's a dick or he's actually I have two interns. You want one of them? No, I don't want your shes of a Dave.

You have the worst interns. Jester Skolz is great. Who? Maddie Jester Skolz. The kid the kid who Dante has is fucking amazing. He's also a comic. He's been a comedy for 13 years now. He actually told Dante how to do the read.

Now do it at a little more energy and hit this and Dante was like, okay, you know, here's with his head in his fucking chest body, whatever he does. He's sleeping homeless man body. No, he's like a fucking ninja turtle that never came out of his shell. It looks like he's sitting in a giant robot body and his head is poking out a little.

Who was he in a suit? Who's your focal with a life coach? You're bringing the heat up here. I, it's like amazing. I, well, my specials being shot June 17th. I'm doing warm up for it. Where? I thought I was doing warm up.

No, I got somebody else. Who's in warm up? You're not doing it. You can't follow, Dan. So don't get Dan. I can't follow Joe either. So I can't get you. I should just get the scalp up.

I just get Kelly. Hello. Hey. Yeah. You're gonna have her send her. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Scopo I just get Kelly Kelly's taking a beating on this So here's a deal yeah June 17th the village on the crown Oh, boy, and Bobcath Bobcat Goldthwaite is shooting. He's directing it Jim Sherpico's producing it with Apostle? Yeah! There it is.

Home team! So, we got something to talk about you about too. Oh! We're gonna actually trade you to the Sniperx. We're a player to be named later. Affliction starting a comedy management team. For Jimmy Martinez. We, uh, yeah, so that was what the phone call was about it was a creative

Discussion Bobby listen, we want to get the juice this guy. We want to talk about your special. We want to help We want you to look the best who's doing warm up. I don't know you. I don't know You can't let me do you know bro. No, why because I don't like you You do like me just trash my son. Why would the fuck would I give you anything anymore? I have to trash my son why the fuck would I give you anything and I have to defend my son your son's a violent prick. I'm sorry Audience remember either I'm doing new stuff in front of your kid. He's don't face people like 10 minutes. I don't care for him I can't know because you freaked him out how small you mouth is compared to everybody else He didn't know if you were talking I'm not talking

I'd rather have a small mouth and a big mouth. You have to be a data for that one. I don't think you know. No, absolutely not. He did it. And it was a purposeful. It was such a hot one that way. That one's on there for us.

Let's see if Bobby gets it. I said, we're gonna redo it. So do my move to LA is getting very LA Yeah, that's what yeah, it's what my people tell me yeah, I'm gonna call me not then Yeah, that's what he tried saying on your podcast. Wow He tried bringing that shit on the podcast. He tried to do a Mexican humor. Oh, you should have been here Listen, here's a deal my specials being shot I'm very excited about it. I don't know who's doing warm up for it. Yeah, I was excited I might not do warm up. I might just go the fuck up prior it live and concert. Why

I'm paying why it's good to have warm up they get you get them hot you get them juicy yeah but if I get warm up I get You're not, you're not, you're still fired. I have five times a fire. What do you do? Bobby, you get a warm up guy like Drew Frazier. Did you know you don't need to scream, right? No, he doesn't, he's never real. I think he needs to scream. Okay, maybe you're right.

It's actually enough to hide that you don't really have anything to say. Get a warm up guy and then get Gary Veter. Gary Veter, why? No, you don't need to set up man again. Get an opener and a warm up guy. You need, they're gonna be able to see you. You need warm-up guy that can do some jokes after he has all the bullshit Hey guys when the cameras are on blah blah blah blah blah all that shit. Thank you. And I'm that guy. Louis is that guy

Thank you, Andy. Am I do I have your road? Mike what you know you know what a high-energy black guy? He's not high energy my guy sits down He lays down. No, I'm not getting Mike yard to fucking open I'm not getting a better looking black guy That's shiny. Hey, he's just gorgeous. I'm not getting you lost a lot of weight I'm not having him good listen. I'll pick my opener when I pick it and I might not have one I might we might just hey show Liz young and Robert Kelly and I go out and we I warm them up I get my schedules filling up though

So you gotta let me know hopefully it fills up. I hope you I hope you actually I'm hoping you book something in LA I hope you Lewis does warm up he wants to do it with all the lights off Or with another comedian on stage. The dark comedy show. Can we talk about this? What, that Lewis has to do niche shows? But I don't understand. But do you understand?

Is it niche? I think it's niche. I don't understand. Niche. Niche. If you said niche, I would have got it. No! No!

This should be the show! This should be all the show the whole time. Hi, look. Bobby got funny overnight. What? What? What? Here's a deal. Bobby got funny overnight. Here's a deal. The dark, when you go up and you go to a show, the part of comedy, part of the funny,

part of the timing of the joke is the look and the facial expressions and the hand gestures. Even if you're not an energetic comic, they still have a look to the audience. So, to take that sense away and just make, it's like listening to something in the dark, it stinks. Like an album that you're selling. And, that's a better show by the way. And it's not, it's completely in the dark, right?

Which one of them is gonna put Chris Rocks out? I'm gonna put Chris Rock shot up at the dark show. Whoa! We got a war going on, we got a war, but I don't need lights. I love black people, but I hate I was gonna go through that you can't you're a pussy. I'm a real ass pussy. Yeah, you're a real ass pussy But apparently you're salty pussy. I think that shows things I really do can I tell you something? This is why you first of all put you think you down. Can I tell you why you're selling it put your finger down?

The experiment is a specifically what you're talking about experiment when did you become a scientist? Well, you know they call me don't go back to Louis J. Gomez's fun with science today We'll go to experiment with fake tits and comedy shows you guys know what a proton is They're all around look. I just want to be able to smoke a leading finger chicken get away with it That really now good. Do I have to race that for my podcast? You don't get a fucking divorce I bother you go back and edit the things I said about Kelly Because she's got to watch James next week cuz not listen to the show. She call you a bitch in it about me. Oh

Fistica now all right. Why? Lewis is got you Lewis is got she got scope of bitch in about me. Lewis is got Kelly on the brain like he Lewis has got to go. Let's go, Bob, it's about me. Lewis has got Kelly on the brain. Like, he... Those two need to either fucking say fuck you or stop pretending or actually get you shit together. I'm not pretending.

I hit Kelly. This is straight moon lighting. Bruce Willis, Cibble Shepherd. It's where you hated him. See the middle, would you? You hated each other, but you have the same arms, which is weird. Bob, you just don't listen to the show. Never. Great. Why? which is weird. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you kid. I feel bad. I wish that he liked me and most people do. Most people don't like you. It

takes a year to get to like you. That's not true. James loves me and your kid is a slow learner, I guess, when it comes to good people. Listen, Joe is just temperamental because he bombed in front of your son. They could gave me nothing. I brushed his hair, I licked his face. What? What? How did you get that tongue out of there? I got nothing from this kid. I did a thing, I shook his hand. Here's what I say.

I say my kid has great taste because he didn't give you anything and he fucking whacked your kid. And I murdered. So he has good instincts too. And I murdered. Yeah, and he loves that. Oh my god. It loves your big I'm a recording album in front of just in front of Max your big dough eyes that you have my the noises the voices

Your hands your regular size hands. Oh, yeah, everything I take him to a different world now James Lewis's son does not care for me. Yeah, I like James better. I'm sorry Can we stop getting stared down by this psychopath's kid? I like the stare You know what? It all goes back. It all goes back to when James was about four months old. I'm over at Louis's on 21st and 1st. I'm holding James.

Louis's on the phone with you. We're watching you at UFC. All of a sudden James just starts crying when I'm holding him. And I'm like, James, stop crying. It's okay. Ah! I'm like, James, it's okay. Then Louis's like, Soda. What'd you do to my baby? And Ryzee here's that James Immediately stops crying and looks me cuz ha ha starts laughing. Yeah, you knew what you were doing

Yeah, you little ever since I went black His kid looks under his fucking brow at you. Yeah, he goes like Looks under his fucking brow at you. Yeah, you know, you know, you know, did that Charles Manson and Damien Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, and Vince the Nafrio and fucking full metal jacket. I think I think this is my rifle. I think I'm gonna do For a man in black I picked the wrong the wrong people the fucking drive home by the way what because it was a just traffic oh trust me you did not pick wrong people drive home are you going traffic on we do we get traffic we got kelly's by her now and laughing at every joke that wasn't funny

i'd rather have kelly laughing in the back of my home to pilot then sitting in Harlem at russian Harlem at rush hour was awful I was stuck it wasn't even that bad it was not after I dropped you off it was awful. I was stuck. It wasn't even that bad. It was not after I dropped you off. It was terrible. Oh really? Yeah, it took me an hour and a half to get downtown. Sorry, crazy. Crazy. Now I want to clear the beef with Scopo and List. What's there beef with them? We started already it's just crazy. It's not like a thing. Well my beef with Scopo. Let's get to the bottom of this. Yes. No, let's I want to air this out first.

Alright, alright. Yes. No, let's, I want to air this out first. I'm going to get to you. All right. All right. Well, where are you going to do it? First of all, here's the scope of getting your thing. It's like it's saying what he did. I'm going to be Joe's lawyer and you're going to be scopo's lawyer and you'll be the judge.

All right. We're now presenting the state of New York versus Christopoe. I thought it was me versus Christopoe. Well, you are the, this is a criminal case. You're the plaintiff. Don't have to, excuse me, don't talk to the judge directly. Just keep your mouth shut, let me handle this.

Sir, it's a good point. Councilor. Yeah, I got him. Sir, your Honor, I apologize. It's all right. I'll see it. Sir, we do not let armpit farts in this courtroom. Objection, he's clearly armpit farting in the courtroom.

Councilor, for not wearing sleeves, I will not listen to you. You wear sleeves in my courtroom. That's just how things go. It lives in me. Do you understand that he actually did that to that poor shirt. He cuts the sleeve.

I just imagine him singing fucking shitty 80s rock as he's cutting off the sleeves. Oh, I'm banana. He's a talk-darner number. I feel bad for the lady on the seat, under him on the train with his smelly armpit. That's not true I'm wearing bear glove. What's that? What's the new new scent from um

Oldspice it's the best can you smell? They want it. It smells like bubble gum and caves. What are you going? We just here walk in the room Jesus go up he's gonna get over it. Your man's alt week wasn't that bad. Let's go. Let's go. You're on a. So we have a priest present the case as far as the point of the please. Listen, yeah, I have a speech impediment. All right. Very well. Oh, yeah. I graduated from Columbia Law. Top of my

class. What did you say? Say we Wabbit? Say we Wabbit's Twix or for kids. Oh, she said he sells by the seat to a city Brady. I can't if you get droopy. Yeah. All right. Come on. What is it? You're on it. Let's do this. The plaintiff. Joe. Wait a minute. Hold on. Can the God damn it. Can't make the judge please be Macho man. Yeah. Welcome to the Macho man's court.

Oh, yeah. The only thing that goes in here is justice. Yeah. Goes from the top to the bottom. Uh-huh. Yeah. All right Now the point to body killing you You're a lawyer representing your list. Yes. Never seen them out that small never seen them out that big. Yeah, when it's open Can you object what the fuck I'm sorry. I'm enjoying it objection. Objection. It's either smaller big not much of a man the whole time All right, guys, let go. What all right? So the point of june is the case is

45 minutes late on a ride up to Robert Kelly is Is Question is scopo is he guilty? I should be a judge Negligate I should I want to be the judge I'm not in for me the bailiff. No, you're his lawyer. I want to be the bailiff. You can be both All right hang on hang on hang on I tried to defend Let me get defending on the I'm the offense Order order in the court. You got it. I Joe you've a steady. I want Kelly

It's an elephant. Oh, I get it. I had to say I actually made it good for the listeners Any card radio. He's like I'm actually Kelly and then I listen here. We go you're honor. That's me All right, listen Joe. I want to hear you're side of the story all right on the eighth of May I was told that Christopher Scopo, the... I'm supposed to be asking this question. I'm his defense. Christopher Scopo.

Yeah, I'm the fucking offense, bro. Yeah, but no, the judge doesn't ask you. Because I... I... Whatever. Order! You're on a... Baylif.

You're on a... You're on a... Can I play you offense in court? I want to be on offense. All right, here we go. Go ahead. I'm asking the question right now. We got to speed up this trial.

I got a backlog of cases tinnitus get to. Okay, I have the fucking scope. Oh, is an idiot case coming up right after this? Okay. And then we got fucking fat Kelly. Should she be on the show or off the show? And show us his movie. That's a quick case. There's Louis. There's Louis on Kelly. fat Kelly should should be on the show or off the show

His Lewis does Lewis or Kelly go all right, so here we go. Yeah, uh Christopher Scopo said he was gonna pick me up at 11 15 am And I I locked up I got up early that's early for me My shower to make my girlfriend's her my girlfriend is an insomnia actually goes to bed at six She woke up early to be part of this thing. Okay, okay, it comes over an objection. I'm talking my story Let me tell my story What happened did I lose everything? No, no, but you hit something popped up. So just don't do it again. Oh shit. I ate something So we I get to my house 11 15 I locked up. I sit on my stoop with my girlfriend and Kelly,

who take this into consideration, jury. I'm now sitting with Kelly at 1115 AM, I'm ready to go, I'm packed, because I'm a goddamn gentleman, I think that's how you operate. At 1115, we get a text, at the time, he's supposed to pick us up, he texts, I'm running five to 10 minutes late.

Which by the way, if you're gonna run late, you say that earlier, so I can continue to live my life Right he shows up 40 full minutes late 40 40 Oh, you're on it on my stoop with Kelly and Sarah in the morning for 40 minutes and then try to drop me off the Harlem I'm defending you He just waved off his legal counsel. Are you waving your legal counsel? Yeah, I'm like done You know what though Lewis you and I are in the jury now

Like the microphone you dumb done I take that back. We just vetted the jury on the only jury member Yeah, he'd be gone turns out They're like why would you be good on this jury? I don't know I'm a real-ass dude. Yeah, you'll never get jury duty I had a jury duty twice so far. Yeah, we're that shirt. All right. Here we go. Let's go scope I want to hear your your side of the story. Okay, so you call me at 11 my on by the way Unfortunately, your microphone is on you call me at 11 saying you're... You set up this whole fucking thing, so it's on you. Yeah. You call me at 11 saying you were running late.

So I said, okay, I was about to leave. And I was like, all right, now I can do some shit that I wasn't gonna do before I got them. So I went, I got ice, I went, and I got cookies and stuff for everybody. Ice and cookies. To enjoy. Okay, so, but that has nothing to do with the case You were supposed to that's your responsibility the cookies are on you nobody ask you cookies. So that's on you, but the ice

You could have that was in your in your Requirements that was in your Quarters that was in your contract, okay, so you can't use that. That should have been in the equation of time. You should have said I gotta get ice, I gotta pick up them, and I might get cookies. So you add that in your own. So take that out. I strike that from the record. I am not objecting on being late, and I apologize for being late. I am objecting on the fact that he is bitching and complaining for two days. When Joe List didn't offer me gas money

oh Didn't offer me toll money 2250 in tolls that day Because I had a drive I had a pickup Joe drive Drive them back to Story oh, and I had a drive back into Harlem And now once the open up is fucking wallet Take out the cobwebs and say here's $10 for

Maybe maybe if you had showed up at 11.15, I would have gone, hey, thanks for the ride. I'll do the, I would have been happy to pay the money. I have my own car. One said, I'll pick you up, you didn't even say, but you don't want to ride. You said, I'll pick you up at 11.15. You know what, I said, I'll pick you up.

I'll pick you up at 10.10. You didn't gas, it's worth 40 minutes. You didn't even minutes of my time. Wait, wait, wait, wait. My time is valuable. I have a job, I have a life. First first off who waits on a porch outside waiting in your house I didn't know you were late. I imagine Joe I was waiting for his dad to pick him up to go to six legs just under stoop waiting

He's like is mom there gonna show bombs like do you want to sandwich? No, he said he's gonna be here Everyone's off for pay Bobby should be responsible for pay you I picked you up No, he said he's gonna be here Like liar liar And Bobby should be responsible for paying you I picked you up Bobbi asked me to pick you guys You could have you could have taken the train to me and it would have been a lot easier for me to go from there to Bobby's I had to pick you up and drop you off. I just said we're meeting. I did don't adore service and you did nothing Who's that? You said we're meeting I did door to door service and you did nothing who's like That was your idea because Bobby asked me to do it. I make I try to make Bobby's life problem That's Bobby and you's problem you said I'm gonna

I'm gonna pick you problem you said I'm gonna pick you up at 1115 Cuz Bobby said can you pick them up? I said yeah pick up an Astoria, okay? So you could ask the ass in Ast. Oh my god, can you leave? There's no bandana that's fucking good enough for that sticky pond and your honor. Yes sir. Yes sir. There's a long history of this making Lewis's girlfriend cry. Oh wow. There was an hour late for my head running. Lewis's girlfriend cry Storic I don't have a historically is Chris go bow. I was there something right now Can I say something first? Okay good? I will take I'm the easiest judge

I'll take the guilty on being late. I'll take that. Yes, I just I'm pissed off that he's bitching and complaining when he didn't offer Any fucking money at all But here's a thing though you when you here's a thing scopo, okay? You put the ass in the store you have to defend yourself Defend yourself and then go on offense defend being 40 minutes late. Oh, yeah, three people I just three people I just said I take the guilty on that you had to defend it apologize say I'm sorry I'm an asshole. I'm an inconsiderate fucking idiot. I'm inconsiderate. I don't give a shit about other people's time It's not valuable to me. That's sure is value to time

If you want a gas money, you could ask for and this you I'm not taking gas money. I'll just I'll just do it That's an age of average time is money, but you are you bringing up don't do that thing No, but I'm not asking for gas money. No, you can't have a go lazy Don't bitch a complain about even though being late. I'm not her and he's got a Consolidate Bobby was late. So I was like oh, I can do I can take that so calm and communicate Three times she didn't answer I can take that so call him and communicate that I call Kelly three times she didn't answer

Oh me? You call me zero times? You missed this part? Zero. Wait a minute, stop right there. Do you hear that? I called him and told him I was going to be late because I had made a fuck up.

I drove an hour and 40, almost two hours in the wrong direction. You called me as well, I appreciate it. I called people. And I said, and Scope always one of those people looks, I'm going to be late, I apologize, because time is a value, okay? I agree. Especially when it's my party, I'm hosting for you guys.

Even though I'm, look, I'm hosting it, it's my house, I bought the food, blah, blah, blah. That's not the point. The point is that you're there at a certain time, you woke up and took the time out of your day to celebrate something with me. I had called Scopo and said, please, relay this to people. Didn't I say that? Yeah. And did you relay it to Joe? Did you call Joe and go, Bobby's

going to be late? I did not call Joe. Call Kelly. And she just didn't answer. And that's my bad. I should have called you. So you didn't call Joe. No, I didn't call Joe and tell him what I told you to tell him. That's right. So then you just in your head, here's what happened. Bobby's gonna be late, so I can be late. Yeah. Because if Bobby's late, I can run late because he's not gonna be there anyways.

Top, top down. And he didn't say to Joe, hey, Bobby's gonna be late, I'm gonna be late, you know, so I'm gonna pick you up late a little later, right? He just assumed, fuck him. Not fuck him. And wait a minute, it's fast, Sarah. Here's the thing where you sculpt, Bobby. I'm gonna pick you up late a little later, right? He just assumed, fuck him. Not fuck no. And wait a minute, five.

And Sarah. And Kelly. Here's the thing where you scope, well, fuck Bobby. Is that scopos fucking five minutes? First of all, I didn't say five minutes. I said 15 to 20 to Kelly. And then 40.

But Siri, it's still 40, you fucking got. And you said, at the time, I got supposed to be there. I used to be there. If you call it 1045 and say I'm gonna be 30 minutes late for my 1115 pickup. I'm not ready yet. I'm alright,. All right. All right. All right. I'll watch some cartoons. I'll masturbate. I'll have sex with my girlfriend. I'll do both of those cartoons jerking off. Yeah. That's three. Not both. Okay. Well, I'm gonna say it's jerking off and it's having sense, but both. But I don't know if you Just want to hijack this right now. You're a terrorist. You're a sentence terrorist I hope you're happy with yourself. All right, so here's a deal. So scopo that's what happened correct am I can you admit that yes? So what happened was is that you you had the you got the opportunity to be late because you were running a little late in anyways You got the opportunity to be late you said fuck it

You didn't consider him waiting you didn't pitch him waiting on a stupid not I'm not you pitch it in his house yeah just I could go chilling in his house watching TV and so you're gonna be late who gives a fuck no I didn't think about he'd be waiting outside I think oh we know it's a matter I didn't think you'd be waiting outside I think you'd be waiting in your house but even if he's waiting for you he woke up at a certain time and he was expecting you at this time you have 45 minutes late but you think that if you call him and say, look, Bobby's gonna be late. I'm gonna be late. I'm not gonna pick you up until this time.

Because you do this is what you do. You lie about your 5, 10, 15 minutes. You do the only way you, you exaggerate. You say, I'm right around the corner when you fucking not. I used to do that all the time. I was like, yeah, you're looking down the street. I'm almost there. You do that all the fucking time. Can're looking down the street. I'm almost there you do that all the fucking time Can you admit that yeah? You're a liar there's a word for it. It's inconsiderate other people's time and lives are not valuable to you When I tell you to consider when I tell you to be not it consider because I picked you fucking up Listen, I'm here to you said you were going to pick me up at 11 if stop

I would have happily driven my car don't bring me into this you cock suck I will bring you in who said yes Joe happily driving his car and I look I drove people home too but in another thing that bother me was he fucking bitch when I said I have Alan to go to and he complained that I would drop him off and I think you can't take a train I can yeah yeah that's another that's that's an after bitch let's deal with that's also a comical with busting balls joke but it's weird to pick I'll pick you up. I'll drive you back. I'll drop you in Harlem. Oh, okay now we got to take a train And again, it's times three people four people on the way back Well, I'm a little damn voices. It was very inconsiderate. That's 20 It was a night in its kit. It was very inconvenient for me to drop Lewis and his wife and kid off

I could have just dropped them off of the train, but here's a deal It's my party. it's my responsibility. I wanna make sure they have a good time from front to back. And if I made him take a train home at that point, at that time of the day, it would have been, eh, so I dropped him off. I took the hit because that's my deal. I don't put it on them, that's on me.

I wanna make sure they get home safely and comfortably and they had a good time. So when they go upstairs, that was fun. I don't want to be like, I don't want to do that again. They're fucking trained or blah, blah, blah. I had to take this and that. They got home.

That's why I said, look, I'll take some of them or, you know, but you were there, you had a car, if Joe had a car, but here's a deal, bro. If you had said to him, you're admitting that you, fuck, the reason why you did is because I told you I told you that You're admitting number two that you were supposed to call him a tell him and you didn't you're admitting that you weren't fucking 15 minutes away 20 you were fucking way further than that you lied. No, I did get lost to but doesn't matter You fuck you you you fucked up. I think it's light again. He just lied again

That's all I know I went I I went. I thought he was, I lived by my girlfriend. Listen, you do it all the time. You do it. You do it to me. When I tell you to be somewhere, do I say, what do I say to you? Bobby Kelly, Tom. Yeah, not Chris Gopo time.

Because your time is always 20, 30 minutes late. Well, what's time we hear today? 11, dirty. The pocket started at 12, 12. What time were you here today? I know cuz I I know cuz I called I was here like 11 dirty 11 33 33 All right, listen here's a deal here's a deal okay on the count of Being this respite now we're gonna deal with the other charges that you pose against him after.

The count of being irresponsible, you did not tell him when I told you to relay him on the count of being disrespectful by not calling him and letting him know the truth a little sooner. And on the count of lying. lying that's the that's murder guilty apologize to him right now kindness kindness until he's all yours you have to suck your own dick in front of everyone right now what if he just took his dick out and just fit in his mouth from there such a long

rody's but I have a naked one of scopo that I will show you all right now that I got of him in the shower no way give me my phone right now. Where's your phone right there? Tell you where it should be and phone jail. Lewis is on his phone a bunch before you get it I know I was let me see. Let me see. I was just reading. He was Instagramming it. What the fuck was that? I'm like a froze phone. Ha ha. Listen. Here's a deal. Not I want to deal with this. You have to apologize to Joe I am sorry Joe. No problem, Chris. I will not accept a ride from you ever again Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe. All right, what is it? I'm not so sorry

Joe really is that like that continuous Well, I mean, I just want to ask you for a favor again. It's okay. I'm just I got a guy's one. I'm sorry and he goes well never accept a ride from me again Again, it's okay. I just went I'm sorry and he goes well never accept for for not paying for the toll for not appreciating you? You want to charge him now let it go. Oh wow. That's really sweet. Oh Now you know I fucking know I charge it. I'm just being honest. I'm supposed to get in the car after being 40 minutes late And then he just goes I'm gonna pick you now Let me give you some money

Let me give you some money put a tick-tax in that mouth and slow down for a second gonna hold that. Let me give you some money. You want your case. Let me give you some money. Put a tick-tax in that mouth and slow down for a second. All right? Let me give you a little cash. Now that you're in our late for all three of us. Justice was served. Put a pencil in your mouth. So just hold on to you.

Stop one second. Chris, what are you charging with? I charge them being a little bit of a cut. And the fact that. A little. That I had to go. I didn't, I wasn't gonna accept anything. But he just harped on the fact for a little that I had a go I I didn't I wasn't gonna accept anything But he just harped on the fact for hours and hours and two days do you charge him with what do you charge him with being cheap?

How much did you pay in stop Joe? How much did you pay in toll seven fifty a toll times three? It's 2250 times three. Okay. What time's good? I had to take what else take you back and go back into the city what else the back of the cities on you could take the Queensboro bridge that's free I can't write by the tri-barrow I had to go up to and you dropped me off by the way at sodas which I was happy but that's about seven blocks from my house so I had to walk one full mile I loved it so you didn't have to that was convenient seven blocks not a mile about it actually twenty twenty city blocks is a mind thirty books

well in a story it's I live one mile from his house for i'm sorry i said seven and it's seven across block not city box avenues in a story i live a full mile from his house which i'm happy to do no one even talked about it until now now that you're going to bring this up but yeah i was like i'll get off

here at sodas i know you're late for your appointment i'll get off one mile from my house and walk it and Kelly Kelly, and Sarah, times three people. You're dropping off one person at his house and three people a mile from their house. At least you should not come up until just now. Stop, stop, stop, stop. If I get in the truck, then, if I get in the truck, then, he also, he dropped me off at this train station, which is down the street for my house.

It was in your house. He didn't drop me off at home. So did he drop you off near your house? You have to walk up that hill. Yeah. Up hill. Okay. Well, soda, what do you, now it seems like there's more charges being put against you. Do you, now I'm going to leave you one more chance. You want to drop this? Oh, do you want to continue with your case? What charges are being brought against that? Joe a cunt that you you dropped them you dropped three people off at Away a mile away from the house. You dropped him off one guy near his house

So that's more than important in your brain. No dance it right here. It's fine. We'll get out I did say that and we did too Fuck you because I considered I This is near enough to my house. I don't mind walking a mile. It's a nice day You got to get to your appointment Then is a fucking full-fledge Hollywood piece of shit If you guys want to come on down and see me do 15 at the left factory right on sunset I'll be wearing tight jeans and overacting my punchlines

All right, so that's part of the joke. So basically, you think he should pay for tolls? No, I don't think he's paid for tolls. I'm just upset that he's harping on it for two days. Yeah, but why? So you're bringing up the tolls as just a defense? Are you really giving shit? No, I don't get, I'll eat the one. By the way, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Scopus dad pays for his easy pass. No, no, no, it wasn't my dad's work, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no when I'm when I when I drive Oh, when I'm a part time just now, yeah, stop Stuttering don't be a stuttering when I drive away for a weekend. I don't mind the company doesn't Well also you're on it. No, but Yes, my dad is a list. Please go. You're on it. Thank you. I appreciate the time and I appreciate listening and your service Appreciate the American people. Thank you at the time and I appreciate you listening and you're very, very, very much appreciate the American people. Thank you.

As far as the acquisition of being cheap, I don't have time to bring in a lot of character witnesses. Dan can attest. He was very broke. I throw money around that I don't even have. Oh, I mean, it's a first. I mean, I'm notoriously bad at Dan. I want to hear from that.

Is this the first accusation of being cheap in my own car? Okay, okay, Mr. and I would have happily driven my own car. Had I known you for it? Mr. List I missed that enough I strike that from the record I brought a car I'm gonna listen to you cactus right now your honor I would describe Joe list is being fiscally irresponsible. Can you do it in stone? Call Steve Austin doesn't matter if the real rattlesnake not some goddamn Puerto Rican rattlesnake Wants to say that Joe listiss doesn't spend his money.

Joe Liss does spend his money on dumb shit. You know what, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake is gonna interject here, because the Puerto Rican rattlesnake did experience Joe Liss being a little cheap one time. Woo! I stopped. Hold on, now I'd like to hear from this witness.

I might have been broke instead of cheap. Puerto Rican rattlesnake, let me hear from you. Not broke, cheap. Puerto Rican rattlesnake, let me hear from you. Not broke. Oh, well. Puerto Rican Rado Stake. Tell me here for me. So recently after, first of all, you get your rattle out. I'm sorry.

Me and Joe Les, we've become a lot more friendly over the course of the past year. After my KWD, we've taken some walks. What you think? I like his baby. We talk about things. Nice baby. Very receptive to heal.

So Joe Les, wait till you fucking wallets missing. Thoughtful. Or wait till you're sleeping and you wake up and James is staring at you holding a little knife he's sucking the breath out of your mouth like that He's doing donuts with your car in front of your house My father has no He's like you said let's go to Chipotle because Joe loves Chipotle who doesn't who doesn't it's great? Who doesn't get meat on a salad? I love it. Oh

Who still can have four teas? And the chicks behind the counter are always cute. Not too cute, like hooters, but attainable. Yeah, regular hot. Oh God, and what can I have? Not quite cute. Oh, they're so nice. So nice.

And then the boy, I get the meat, the spicy meat. Like, one of six, three-salt, I'm very cute by the way. I can't do the bread, so I get it on the salad with the beans and the cheese and the guacamole. Oh, we, we're gonna bread. Where's this story going? Yeah, go ahead So Joe Where we're online and then nobody's doing it as we're walking these like oh dude all these fans of the podcast They keep on sending us Chipotle gift cards. I have this video's I have $500 and Chipotle gift cards. What is that?

Bob, you're not listening. You're the fucking judge. I'm not I listen. I am getting something from my what are you? I leave it on yeah go ahead so So he fucking I already got the response I have five hundred dollars in gift cards that I got for free from fans of my other podcast Which I've done three times what you've done three two days of story three two days of stories How many two days of I've done none. I've done none. I've done none. I didn't show up. No, I didn't not that I didn't show up I've bailed in the day of the show. I had to my baby was in the hospital

I had no I had no addition That's a lot. I booked a gig My grandmother was sick. Bobby. I've only been asked I had to rescue a midget from a fucking boating accident Don't need help Bobby I've only been asked I had to rescue a midget from a fucking boating accident So did you get the ones that they sent you the new ones right so listen? Accusation I go to order a salad. I fucking look at Joe He's got five of those give course doesn't say anything I was a girl to pull out my money. I have a baby that I'm trying to feed I'm for I'm struggling a little bit paycheck to paycheck and I paid for my salad

At my own pocket even though he's just he's bragging about his $500 and free Chipotle money that he's got on it. What? Yeah, I did whatever you're ready. Are you finished rattlesnake? I'm I'm finished All right, I would like to hear your response, but after these commercial messages I would like to hear your response, but after these commercial messages. Ah! That's how you keep them listening. I lose my hand.

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dude when you do you'll get three free DVDs free extra gift so central we can have a mention it and free shipping just use the offer code dude at Adam and Eve dot com it's a great gift for Mother's Day. Birthdays, trust me. You got a girl, you want a surprise or you want to give her a special gift, go order something off there right now and make it all about her. Adamaneeve.com, use the code word, dude. Amazon. What is it, Amazon?

Amazon Gamefly. And we got Amazon Gamefly. If you go to the new riotcast.com, you can click on the Amazon link. If you're going to buy anything off the internet, I buy pretty much everything off the Amazon.com right now, because it's always the best price. They have used items too, so if you want to buy something that you don't really need new, which I've done before, but all new, and it's always the best price, Amazon.com, but go to Riotcast.com and use the YKW dude link.

I'll go to GameFlight.com if you're a gamer, which I am, I used to be a lot more, but I'm gonna start getting back into it because I wanna get the new Xbox. I haven't got it yet, because I had the baby. But I'm definitely, I wanna get Titanfall just came out. But it's the, it's the, the, it's the Netflix of video gaming. fly comm go there and use the code go to gamefly comm

slash YKWD YKWD and you get two weeks free correct two weeks free You got a 15 day free trial 15 day free trial and make sure the donate buttons on the page if you want to donate a dollar You want to donate $10,000 and I'll go back in the room I want to thank all the people that have donated and the heavy graves is always just up there she amazing you come to the shows in Boston so I want to thank you and and everybody else let me just go to my phone wherever my phone is real quick what else do we get scopel and you got tweaked audio tweaked audio dot com right now I go there for my headphones I I use headphones.

I have a couple pair next to the bed. I have a parent in my office. I have a parent in the drawer on the kitchen. I keep a parent every bag I use to travel because I always lose headphones. And I don't wanna buy these $300 headphones and then lose them somewhere. I go to Tweet.io.com right now and you get 33% off

and free shipping with a limited lifetime warranty. And there's many styles to choose from, the great headphones, inexpensive, Mike, non-Mike, so you can use it with your phone, you gotta type in what's the code word? Dude, dude. It's always dude, either that or YKWD. But make sure you go to tweedio.com right now. Do we have

anybody else? Anything else we have to read for this week? That's it for this week. I want to thank some people on PayPal right now. You know, we're the donations from you guys is great. You know, we don't get Chipotle gift cards, but, you know, we can't all have millions of listeners like other stations. But we do have very loyal fans. And the shows every month have been getting, I mean, the downloads have been getting more and more. Ian Rice, I want to thank you. Heather Graves, Fabian Martin, even Rice again, Trevor Head, Christopher, Tropha, Scope, Chris. Oh, that's you. Sorry. Your middle name is Tfer. No, that doesn't matter. Huh? What's your name? What's your middle name? George. What's Taufeer?

Taufer? Yeah, Taufer. What's that? What's Taufer? Taufer is Taufer Christopher. Please tell me that's a real name. Oh wow. I want to thank all you guys. Say joy. You know, you guys are great. Thank you so much. I will back to the show right now Okay, so listen I Think we've come a long way so far with this case I Mean I Want to hear Joe. I'm sorry my Chipotle. I'm sorry real quick I would like to get dates out right now in the middle of the show

Yeah, because if people do bad I want to for you you fucking dumb I'm JK and L.O. L.L. in bro But I do have a hard to leave time. I'm gonna leave at a hard to I wish it was a hard one What do you mean? It's past one more exactly. I wish you were gone He doesn't like you. I do like you Joe. What do you got? We're gonna be? Oh, I want to start doing this in the middle of the show because some people, you know, they listen to the show, they split it up, so what are you gonna be?

What are you gonna be? I'm a little light on road dates right now, but I would love if you could listen to my, if someone is a headline there out there that needs an opener, will you hire Joe? Bobby, I think that's a little counterintuitive to what I'm trying to do here, and I might have to bring up a case against you.

Oh! I have a friend. Hey man, and I'm trying to do here and I might have to bring up a case against you. Oh! I have a friend. Hey man. And I'm doing a very difficult transition of transitioning from middle to headliner with seven fucking bullshit credits and you're not helping. I am. I'm telling all my fans that I'm a goddamn middle act. I am.

I just headlined Go bananas in Cincinnati. I am Joe. I am a club. I'm joking. Joe. I have an agent that lives in Nashville. It is not, you know. But if you could listen to my podcast Tuesdays with Stories,

I know it's on another network. You know, rival. But it's not a rival. A rivalry. Two days with Stories, if you could listen to that. Absolutely. You're on fire. You're the next, you're one of the next guys coming up.

So don't you worry about it. You're one of the funniest guys out there. Easily. Dan, what do you got? I'll be, if you one of the next guys come up. So don't you worry about it You're one of the funniest guys out there easily. Dan. What do you got? I'll be if you're in the DC Everywhere If you're in the DC area may 18th. I'm gonna be at the Kennedy Center in DC spin a globe and put your finger on it Are you getting a fucking the honor? Kennedy Center honor Bruce Willis is giving it to guys. We all know we love Russians I made my career off fighting them Dancing in the middle career off doing an impression of one so does being inducted into the rock and roll hall of Van what do you got that's in Cleveland and then the last week in June I'm in

I'm at Cap City in Austin awesome. What do you got guys? I'll be headlining Comics at Foxwood's July second which boy Chris Scopus coming out and opening up I'll be with Dave Smith and then they're the whole weekend with Joe Derosa go up us coming out and opening up with Dave Smith and then they're the whole weekend with Joe DeRosa. Oh! Formerly of the YK280 podcast. I slept on his couch three weeks ago when I was in LA. Yeah, bro.

Awesome. So make sure you go see Joe. Make sure you go support him. He'll come see me headline Wednesday, but if you can't come on Wednesday, see Joe DeRosa, I'll be doing 25. Oh, sorry. So if you want to see a good show, go Wednesday. If you want to see a really good show

Go see Joe On the rest of it. You want to see a good rehearsal go Wednesday If you want to see a good rehearsal, go see previews. Yeah, what when is this one coming out? It's coming out Monday Yes, sir. All right, so this Thursday night May 15th 8 p.m. The dark comedy show it sent up New York labs It's myself, Joe Liss, Dave Smith is on it, Mike Lawrence, surprise celebrity guests. Wow. Who the fuck, who's coming?

Kevin, are you lying? I had a cancellation, so I have to fill it still. It's gonna be a surprise celebrity. He's got Nick Cannon. I'm coming. Are you coming, Bobby? When night is it? It's Thursday, eight o'clock. Will you come? What night is it? It's Thursday at o'clock

We come really dude. It's come how funny with that pay I might come I might come what time is it? It's an eight o'clock show I might come are you see I might come if I come will you put me on are you fucking kidding now? Yeah, obviously you're on all right, so we'll I might I don't know I might have Bobby does glow in the dark so All right, I don't think I've got it. I thought I was funny. I think some fat kids toy All right anyways listen here's a deal you guys know you're writing me you have to do it All right, so here's a deal go to all the shows my shows I'm gonna go to Robert Kelly live calm get my award award winning app Robert Kelly on iTunes app at the app store and it my app is amazing you literally turn it on and

if I'm with in a hundred miles of you you're gonna just go it's a no it get that'd be great though it's a pop-up and it tells you where I'm gonna be but it has all my my dates on there. 100 miles? Who's driving 100 miles to see you? No, within 100 miles. I have a lot of people that drive to see me. Last week at the stress factor was amazing, by the way. I love that, I have people that see me

and you guys who know who perform with me, people have seen me five or six times. One dude saw you eight times. Yeah, like I love that. That's the people that fucking fo comedy. They're the ones that are telling everybody about you. And that's why I love this show. And that's why I promote these guys gigs

in the middle and hopefully at the end, I want you to support us. I want, because the, where, that's how we, we make our living. We'll do this for nothing. We'll put this out there, but make sure you come see us live. I'm gonna be at the Off the Hook comedy club. Yeah. Yeah June 5th 6th 7th and 8th off the

Hacomedy Club in Marco Island. Marco Island? The 12th 13th 14th? Yes. Yes. The punchline. Love it. I'm back. I love that club. I love it. It's just there. It's so much fucking fun. I love that club and I'll finally back. Thanks so much. And special date June 17th the comedy sale of the village underground. June 17th, I'm filming my special. Okay, here's a deal. Tickets aren't available yet. Two shows, they're gonna go fast. I'm gonna be promoting it everywhere.

I'm gonna need all your cocksuckers help. Fuck yeah. But we're gonna, I want fans. I want couples. I want, I don't, you know, don't bring somebody. You gotta come see this. I don't want your fucking friend that doesn't know who I am. Sitting in the front row, going, I don't you know don't bring somebody you gotta come see this I don't want your fucking friend that doesn't know who I am sitting in the front row going. I don't get it I'm filming a special so even if you fake laugh. I don't give a shit. I want don't go crazy

During the setup because he doesn't understand humor, but it's gonna be a great night Bobcat goathwits directing it which I'm I can't tell you how excited I am about it. He's a fantastic director. He's a great director. He gets comedy. He's a great comedian. I love the stuff he does. He's a Boston guy.

He's, yeah, so it's just gonna be great. And Jim Surtbiko and the guys at Apostle Bardot, Celetti, I can't tell you how happy I am to have this going down the way it is. I've wanted it. That's why you always want something. But sometimes if I had gotten it a long time ago, it wouldn't have been this. It wouldn't have been as perfect as it is now.

You know what I mean? So I'm happy that I'm very excited that the people I waited to when it was right and then happened. And now June 17th, it's going down. So I'm very excited. We do, but I'm not, we'll kind of let them things out because you know that stuff changes. You might watch it.

There's a thing from doing it live, but then there's a thing where you watch and go, this is more of this. Yeah, I don't know. It's too name-it-a-real, I'm stupid. What the fuck? I'd love to steal that. I'd love to stole it. I meanolen fucking massive t-shirts that sell everywhere pops it like it really goes over my suit fine

They're like oh my god. They bring you on Michael and Kelly We got a special guest. It's real ass dude Michael rips his suit off. It's just as real ass dude I gotta get those shirts! And Lewis is like, Oh, do you mind dropping me back off on a 198th street? I'm next to the building that collapsed. Yeah. All right, you guys, my drop is out of can of help, do it.

Yeah. Ah, that's great. You guys wanna drop me off in my post-apocalyptic building? But, uh, Veris, so go to my website to check out all that stuff. Um, what else? That's it. So, thank you so much. I want to do the 20th, 21st and 22nd your underground comedy club in Toronto.

Oh yeah, I'm going to Toronto. I'll be there too. You're not coming. You're not opening for me. I thought I'm opening it all this game. You can't get into Canada. I can't get into Canada. Shut up, I'm not dealing with that.

You're a rapist. Isn't that what happened? A rapist. Racist, oh sorry. So here we go. Back back into the show so this is cheap joe list is cheap i would like to agree with no that's ridiculous i i i think that's been my defend luis's dumb accusation please

i want to i want to for the listeners who might have just be tuning in uh... apparently uh... we have charges that are brought up against joe for being for being a cheap son of a bitch not paying tolls not offering not offering anything to my pal Joe Chris Scopo and Dan Soda actually refuted that and said he's a very generous guy very generous gives way too much and now Lewis Gomez the rattlesnake I know that's not his fucking name. A stone cold Steve off the port of making a rattlesnake. I know that's not his fucking name. Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Puerto Rican rattlesnake. You're not the Puerto Rican rattlesnake.

He's the Texas Nake. You're the Garden Snake. That's who you are. You just stole my joke from the top of the show. When did you say the garden snake? The Puerto Rican rattlesnake or a gardener? You said gardener, that's the gardener snake. Oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, so when you say gardener, I'm gonna think of a snake and get out of Puerto Rican man get the joke call it why did I make your shrubs reference did you get the joke I want to say gardener well he immediately acted out as a gardener thank you which I didn't understand either your jokes but I smiled and I was it well I'm sorry mr. structure mr. everything by the book joe list listen here's the deal is there a more Puerto Rican accusation than calling somebody cheap for not If buying him lunch

Yeah, buying me much it is you bragged about $500 in gift cards What fan what fans send you Chipotle gift cards millions of people and what a fuck don't I get Chipotle gift cards? You don't ask for them. I want Chipotle look at me. I get Chipotle gift cards? You don't ask for them. I want Chipotle look at me I want Chipotle gift cards. Yeah, it's focusing on me Chipotle gift cards But a show up at one is 17 MacDougall Street, New York, New York. What's the zip code? Google it, okay, and I want it to Robert Kelly YKW dude written on the thing I want Chipotle gift cards. I need some pull-ups. No sugar, no grains. That's, that was such a taco promo. You just cut a good wrestling taco. Dude, if you don't send that to Chipotle

and they don't use it as a national campaign, I'll be furious. I can't have carbs, but I love you meats. Anyways, I have $500 of the gift cards. I've used a lot of them already. I had one gift card on me. One gift card on me, it had $9 remaining. Right, actually less than that. It had like

six to seventy-five. Also Lewis was in front of me and paid before I could even offer. And I still had to pay like four dollars in cash. I had one six dollar gift got on me. And I also share them with my co-host Mark Norman. And I think it is fucking hilarious to queue so to being cheap for not buying them lunch. When I fucking babysat your kid while you played bean bag toss And I did a great job to be honest first off Let me step it and say that's not a real baby sitting. That's a little yeah, holding a kid like it's a hot ham Reno now it's like a half hour with that kid. I taught him how to walk in Tott of a new body part. I can't mention them the air

By the way I was talking about a new body part. I can't mention them in the air. That was the line of the day. That was the line of the barbecue. That was the line of the barbecue. What's that one hole? Yeah, we were playing corn hole. It goes to James Hills. Where's your corn hole? What is that touch you would have pointed to it?

He did. We did a lot of things. All right, so listen. So listen to this. Listen to this. Listen to this claim. I think I'm gonna make a decision right now. I I reject.

I I I that is I I I I I I I I you know, okay? Are you stroking out Chris touches tongue? Dude, you smelling burnt hair, Bobby? What's happening? I will not accept the charges against ever being cheap. It was a $9 thing. He he was buying himself lunch. He's a nine dollar thing. He was buying himself lunch

He's not a rich man. He got gifts for the works. He's done you had money in your pocket for what works you done And you buy you not obligated to buy somebody something just because you have a gift Let me tell you how long and it wasn't a $30 gift it was a nine dollar gift Let me tell you how lean Joe list lives if. If you've seen Joe Liss's bedroom, he looks like a war criminal on the run. Like he's trying to stay like, we got it. Okay.

I'll take that. I thought that war criminal line was good if you see his bedroom. I just didn't want to sit through whatever else you were. Also they were. You know like, the people give them instead of donations, they give our time.

We put a lot of time into the show. The show is my dream. I already, and I don't want to hear out of you anymore, little mouthful. Okay, the show, I agree with you. For the little mouthfuls. You don't do the show for fucking is I already I don't want to hear out of you anymore a little mouth Okay, I agree with you for the little mouth You don't do the show for fucking donations or gift cards or anything We do these shows so we will raise our profiles and people will come and see us on the road and we'll have more fans

But to some people it's valuable listen and they said my decision You can open for you at June 17th. No, you can't for all of Skins you know what you're gonna try to do is trying to get his eight fans on my show Don't you gonna have blue I'm not going. I hope they don't go because I don't want you fans at my show I hope you want to go my there. I want If you're a go-mite I want you to go fuck yourself I don't I don't want any go-mites go-mites you night I don't want to go my I don't want any go my go my you night

What do they do fly But they didn't unite they flew away I now listen as prison tattoos so I I am not saying Joe is cheap now we go back to the original charges From Chris Scopo Christopher Christopher. christopher it's called me cheap cut now i'm gonna rule on this now christ and i would do you have anything to say to him to defend yourself i mean why you didn't pay the offer at all first of all i think it's i think it's i think it's crazy that this is even i

think this whole case is ludicrous of course you do because it's against you uh... i don't need to know that you want me to you're asking me you're picking me up forty minutes like by the way is about forty two minutes late and i'm supposed to now just go ahead and that is telling those two minutes makes them a little cheap money no i've touched the detail i'm not a part of the food joe is

and so uh... christ says i'll pick you up at eleven fifty fifteen take the barbeque if there was a something if you just said we're going to a barbeque at my house, I would have happily driven my car with my girlfriend, we had a nice day about it. I don't even think about the money. Once you're 42 minutes late, and if you want money, you could say,

hey guys, this is a 35 bucks, when we could all kick money in here. Chris is actually admitted, supposedly that he would not even have accepted money. No, I wouldn't accept the money. So that right there makes it the ground's crazy. My money. I'm gonna get into a car.

I was livid. I think that it's so expensive. I wanna stop right now. If so. And he was driving anyway, it's by the way. If he offered you money, you wouldn't accept it. No, but why then why bring it up? Ooh, why bring it up?

And why bring it up? Why? You can either, you go one way or the other, my friend. My little friend, my little Italian friend, you either go one way or the other my friend my little friend my little Italian friend You either go one way or the other either you're gonna want the money and take it because you wanted it Or you're not you don't take it because you would and you're saying you never would have took it You just wanted him to offer it no you could turn it down So you can look like a fucking hero. No, that's incorrect about me

I said don't bitch and complain for two days about me being late when i'm not you cannot do something nice for somebody and then treat them like shit and accept them to take it because you are nice to them it you know because you're nice doesn't give you the authority or the privilege to treat people like shit yeah bobby oh wow this is a real Robert Kelly goes to Washington huh you cannot you cannot, you cannot be nice to people, you'd be nice to people and do things for them, to do things for them, not so that when you do fuck up, they can't get mad at you.

He can still get mad at you, even though you gave him a ride. No, I'm saying that's fine, get mad at me, but don't harp on it the whole entire barbecue and then now that is true you are a harper. Valerie would be like no you're one of us. Wouldn't you say that we sometimes can I have the bandana? I saw that one coming.

Let's let this whole team in. Valerie Harper joker. Yeah, cool. I didn't think you were going to go there but when you did I was like well then let's just get that bandana over there. You imagine being in Joe Lis position man. Can I have that? Just waiting on your deck hands. con ese bandana. ¿Casi vas a estar en una posibilidad de joven? ¿Puedes tener que estar esperando?

Estas cantas. Estas cantas. Estas cantas. Estas cantas. Estas cantas. Estas cantas. Es 45 minutos. Es muy silencio. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Por uno, tres por uno. Esta es la tres por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar

tu del tres por uno en medianas a domicidios solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? tres por uno, tres por uno. Ah, no, no, no. ¡Dominos! Pizza. ¿Sueñas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado?

Gracias a las becas de posgrado en el extranjero de la Fundación La Caixa, puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitate a tu beca en Fundación lacaixa.org. I want you hitting that back probably wow dude right give him This thing is getting a frequent flyer miles. I know there's gonna even get it I don't almost I almost give that to you for that. Oh shut up. No, we don't I would love for you to Leave seriously that's the new thing. I want you to take off. How about we get a real-ass coupon going

What do you got let's go? We're gonna go to the beach with Kelly or something though. Oh me. Yeah, you had a beef. No, no We had to get to the other trial that was scopo as an asshole. We got to get to scopo as an idiot. Okay, my trial Yes, you know what try I'll be the judge. You're gonna know you can't be the judge I'm talking because you Because I can't do voices you know that because you just fucker. It's a town It's cuz I can't do it. You adjust in court with him. That's a conflict of interest.

I want a side trial. I can't be judged because I can't do voices. And that is prejudice. This is a book whose Dan was in high school. But it's not all your book covers look. Just destroyed and fucked up. Yeah, I know. Because it's too busy getting knowledge.

Not only was that a bomb, I think it's a bomb angle. How do you know what book covers look like? That's a bomb angle. Yeah, you really use the prop to fucking eat a dick on that. What are you doing? Stop it. Just to give him his thing back here. Fucking gorilla. What do you got?

First, before we go into this, what do you got for coupons? I was gonna have Lewis go get me an ice coffee. Okay. From a coffee bean. That's cool. I'm not gonna get sugar. All right, cool. I love that. Can I get tea?

Yeah, I'll get money. I'll get tea. I got your money, because I'm a milker sugar. All right, cool. I love that. Can I get tea? I'll get money. I'll get tea. I got your money, because I know how cheap you are. Thanks. Not cheap. Broke. Broke on the fucker.

What else you got? I've got 30 seconds of simulated B.J. and a dildo, but we need someone real big in the room for that one. Yeah, yeah. Like Kelly. I'm going to get James in the room. Five minutes is a quarter of a sudden. Don't do that. I'm like, no, it's wrong with you. Don't teach him that Why is sucking dick is okay? What's wrong? No, not that. It's okay. Listen. Here's the thing

Why would you even do that? I'm kidding obviously. Yeah, but don't okay? Can you go to the sun? Hey, can you take father advice from Bobby? His kid doesn't think I'm funny Will you go get a we go get me a large ice coffee with milk with cream and three sugars and Joe What do you want? Well, you get me a Moroccan mint here's 50 What are you captain serious? Tink glasses off in your hoodie you had a t-shirt and no glasses early you were bringing the heat Yeah, now you just a nerd. Yeah, he's just a douche at a library You know what don't you think for Bobby? I don't want anything. I want you to have anything scope. Oh do you want anything?

I ask him for things and then he doesn't give me his spare the hatchet up by your coffee. No, I had coffee already I'm good. Oh, he just fuck you. That was a fuck you No, he said thank you and he says I have a coffee. Yeah, you're trying you're for stuccoing it Focus focus rockin mint go get out of here and go get the coffee rockin mint large ice coffee Three sugars I gotta leave in 24 minutes. They get sir. Oh, I'm a buying everyone their coffee now I'm gonna buy jolas could even fucking give me a coupon for no fuck you dude. I just give you 50 bucks, though Made it I combined bro and dude right there by the way, dude, though, which is not far off. Let's go That doesn't I think deserve the left. I called him. Do go get go get the coffee

By the list Moroccan mint bro. Oh look who's here. It's the Swedish rattlesnake No, don't sit down. Rock and mint large ice coffee. Oh, I'll give you money. I would have least suck your dick. Oh, look, Joe gets to make me look like an asshole for him. Now you make you look like an asshole better than is that my shirt? No, it's a skull. Yeah, come on., let's go, we gotta get you back here. I don't get no fight on the way down there, I get arrested.

All right, here's the deal. This is the funniest you've ever been. Listen, here's the deal. I'm not saying you were funny previously. What, do you think Lewis and Kelly have kissed? What are you doing? Oh, oh yeah, they definitely take that. Lewis and Kelly, yeah, they've kissed. I think they've kissed. I think they I think it's on the show. Oh

They've kissed, but I think they fucked around in private like before Beatrice. Yeah, no, I mean I really don't think they've done it I was just going along with you and I forgot about he was with Beatrice for a long time and other dates a fuck Long time another dates a fuck up Here's my problem with scopo you ready yeah, I Have to I'm are we in court? You're on a no. This is just straight up street justice street justice. I like street justice I'm gonna ask it though. I think they'd scopo is that works hard Right objection You can't object in street justice. I think Scobo is a nice kid.

I mean, you just tell me I couldn't object. You got to be. All right. Yeah, no, nice guy. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But here's the thing, is that, you know, the show has to, I tried to get to show, you know, running. So like if I, it's like today,

I couldn't be here at the beginning. I'm like, Dan, will you please just take the helm? Absolutely. I could tell Joe you can take the helm. I was here at 1150. I could take any one of you guys could take the helm of the show and go with it. We've done it before. I know that's what I love about it. You guys can do it. But I set these guys up where they can just set it up where, you know,

I don't have to worry about it. But I didn't know he doesn't know how to how I told them they need to know how to run this fucking computer to my left. We have three backups. We have the main audio is on the Mac book over here. The masters. Okay. The video audio is over here along with a backup audio over here. So that's two backups in the main audio.

The main has to be over here all the time. That's what I need because that's this computer is just for recording the podcast. The video is extra. The podcast audio is the main thing we need every week, right? He comes down at fucking 12 o'clock. I'm on my phone call which I told him I got to do. Bob, I don't know the password, the password to what? What fucking password? What the fuck, you should know all the, you know them more than me. You're the one, I don't use this, you're the one.

Try this, not that. Call, then he comes down, okay, this is what I got. I'm running the two backups and I'm not, what about the computer, I don't know how to do that I mean, I can't really here's the thing. I'm down. Here's the thing just say This should be done. We just had a talk last week Everything should be done 15 minutes before if it's three if it's 12 o'clock show at quarter of everything Should be ready to go so a quarter of when it's, I don't know how to do this thing, call me.

I got 15 minutes to fucking tell you how to do it. I got 15 minutes to fucking work it out. If you come down to 12, the show's already going, I got no time. Yeah, but in scopus defense, I lock up on shit like that. Like if you were like, when I tell you a week ago, we sit down and look at, cause I give these guys an out every once in a

while too. Look, if you're done, you can go and just be on the show once in a while. Look at everybody else. Yeah. Because you know, this is the fucking, they do a lot. Yeah. I give it up for Chris and I give it up for Kelly too. You guys give Kelly a lot of shit, but she does a lot to make this show go.

She does? She does a lot behind the scenes. Her and Chris both work their asses off. You know what I mean? Must be behind the scenes. Her anchors both work their asses off. You know what I mean? Must be behind the scenes, yeah. Yeah. But the shit needs to be done. But then you go to another place

and you see one guy doing everything and he's a master at it. And I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah. I mean, I don't know what you want me to tell you. I gotta still, I gotta still do the show. I'd love to just come in and sit down. I mean, it's great.

It's great. Coming in and sitting down. It's kind of the best show we do. I can't, though. I can't. I love it. I can't. I know.

And last I get this, I get somebody who can do everything. Come in and do it all. So are you saying you're gonna have Kelly and Scopo fight to the death? I think that Scopo would really hurt Kelly. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I'd be even better if Kelly was just a fucking psycho and just like stabbed him in the

throat with a pen. Right as it started. You know like there's like, like whenever it's in a movie and it's like one big guy and then like the smaller guy just takes him out. Like in Indiana Jones or he just shoots the guy. Yeah exactly. Like Kelly would do that. You know what remember Jay Davis? Yeah. I remember when Dane did something to him. I was gonna do something to him like we're joking with everybody in Niagara Falls.

I remember I took the producers hat and I threw it over the falls. I grabbed it and he goes, it goes, it was his favorite hat. He got it in Montana and he loved, he kept talking, I always talked about this hat. I was just like, fuck you. And I grabbed it and he loved, he kept talking, I always talked about this hat. He was just like, I was just like, fuck you. And I grabbed it and he went, and he goes, I knew you wouldn't do it. And I gave it back to him and then he put it in his head and he goes, I knew you wouldn't do it. And I grabbed it and I said, fuck you and I threw it. Right off the falls, it's on the show.

But then they went to grab Jay's hat and he fell to the ground and grabbed Danes' ankle and just bit his Achilles. What? It was just a crazy one. It's just, he was his technique, his instinctual technique. Yeah. He dropped to the ground and curled around Danes' leg

and bid as a kille's. Dan went, ah, what the fuck? Ah, like that. Is Jay doing comedy still? I don't know, I think he's producing shows still out there. I think he is, Nicky, Nick Novicki was on one of his shows great showbiz name niki niki yeah

great showbiz body to she hot that's a man he's a little person always a little guy you know niki tall i don't fucking i don't know everything i will not call him niki tall that was that was his philadelphia black comedy circuit name

is he black none of his white guy but he started in the same scene is like the Rosa Vecchio and Jay. Oh, he's got the long hair Yeah, he used to have long hair. Yeah, it wasn't he's gonna be famous for a minute. He was in boardwalk empire He was on like a season one right now. Was he still on it? He's on he's gets some difference He's not still on boardwalk empire. Yeah, but he works. He lives out in LA good fan. Yeah, I'm a big fan of Nick back to the show Buddy works, he lives out in LA. Good fan. Yeah, I'm a big fan of Nick. Back to the show.

Or not. What's that message? It's the club signed up when I was drinking and they sent you text messages saying, we have this and that. You're the guy that signs up for those? Yeah, because you got like a free shot when you signed up for that.

But you signed up for that. To get a free shot when I put theed down free shot. Here's the deal guys Here's the drinking here's the deal. You ready the show is not being recorded because my fucking intern my assistant my producer Right stop being recorded. I would say Chris is the producer of the show. I I mean I would well he does it He does produce production work. So he is the producer of the show. I mean, I would, well, he does produce production work.

So he is the producer. I would call him Kelly's handler. That's what Chris is. Okay, now he didn't do it. He doesn't know how to fucking, I find out it doesn't know how to record the show. How's that? Joe, how do you feel?

So where am I at? Where am I at, judge? Where's the ruling? Street justice. I'm not the judge, I got fired because I couldn't do a dumb voice. So you gotta do a fucking... Why you gotta do that?

Why you gotta bring up my talent and use it? You know what, that's a real Jason canterman. I'm not making fun of you. That is gotta fucked up. I'm shitting on Bobby. Honestly, I'm fucking... You're taking my talent and you're making me insecure about it. That's fucked up.

First of all, honestly, God. I want a new trial. First of all, nine years ago, nine years ago when I fucking met Soda Soda is the most I don't want to be a hack. I don't be ha- and I was like this You got to do fucking voices. You have to do characters and impressions I'm like you're the most talented person I've ever met I was like you should be in the fucking sketch world not quit comedy you got to be in the fucking sketch world You're a fucking genius. You're a good comic, you're a fucking brilliant

improviser, you're a great comic, don't take it the wrong way, I think you're great, whatever, I'm saying you're a fucking unbelievable improviser and he's like this, I don't want to be a hack, I don't want to be some hack and I'm like it's not hack to do voices, you fucking Nimrod, if you write good jokes and do voices then you're the best what happens? He fucking writes jokes. He does voices. He's making fucking three million dollars a day You do make a lot of fucking and you live in a one you live in one little square and an apartment with a bunch of other Fucking that's cuz his dad drag himself to death and his mother makes 300 bucks of fucking So he's holding all this money because he's fucking learned life lessons from his fucking wacky parents and he fucking took Joe list advice.

He's true. He really get a lot of credit for it. And now he's out here. He's out here doing his voices and he's starting to do character stuff and sketch stuff and he's gonna be a fucking movie star and if otherwise he would have been some dummy just being like, here's what I think and standing there because he's afraid to be a hack Thanks Bill Hicks is God and he thinks that people are gonna know Bill here people are gonna fight him I never said of us people gonna fight him for doing voices no shit

You know what I will give Joe this absolute credit him and Nate Bargates he sat me down and told me that it was the dumbest thing ever I was saying it before you even met Nate and I introduced you to it's true. Thanks buddy. Thanks Lewis Thanks Lewis. I appreciate it. It's a real ass coupon It's a great coupon. Thanks Joe. That was the nicest thing you've ever seen. All right. Well listen. Here's a deal What's the deal with scopo? I'm gonna add a line? I you know what? Honestly if I'm scopo I'm stepping it up a little you know you got Kelly coming after you back I'm gonna do a real ESPN Color commentator if I'm Chris scopo. I'm looking at this. I'm thinking Kelly's coming from you back. I'm going to do a real ESPN color commentator. If I'm

Chris Scopo, I'm looking at this, I'm thinking Kelly's coming from my back. I'm trying to learn how to record. Here with us, podcast expert, Lewis J. Gobez, and Joe the Truth List. One of the, I would say one of the hottest guys in podcasting right now, Joe List. Joe, what would you say for Chris Scopo's fear? I'm just, I know you know that Soder is close to getting something big because He did that way less black than it should have been he's like I'm an ESPN analyst I think scop clearly that should have been like yo man like you know Let me really black it up. Let me really do it. You should have shannon shopped it up. Oh, you want me to do sand shop?

I could do shannon shop right you shannon shop Shown shop got some the biggest goums I've ever seen in my personal life Now here's the thing when I play for the Denver Broncos I don't want to talk that horse ain't gonna come near me. I don't like horses. They walk near me They're strong the legs are very powerful. I don't like it. What the fuck dude? What? What? What? The black voice What? Are you fucking kidding dude? I love it funny black fans out there What what the black voice

I love funny black fans up And go and he does talk like that Just like that. I'm not gonna hold sports thing. Did you see Ray Lewis last night? No, I can't watch really It was so bad It's insane what happened there clearly and this is gonna come off, fucking terrible. They clearly have to have it diverse and make it PC. But some of these guys, it clearly is not their forte. Speaking, Ray Lewis could not finish a sentence. Well, not only that, but it's a big thing on ESPN

that they've openly talked about, where sometimes there's these NFL players that they want nothing more than to be color analysts, and then they put them on, and they're like, colored analysts. Okay, that's Lewis. Just veering into the inappropriate part of it. But Joe Montana, who I view as a god, got hired by Fox in after two weeks, they're like, hey, Joe Montana, you stink at being an analyst. Oh, wow. And they had to let him go. So it's a multiple. It's not just black players.

It's most NFL players stink at it. That's why a lot of these guys, you'll see them get tryouts right before they retire, like Rodney Harrison, when he was still on the paths. He was good. No, he still is. That's why he's on the biggest show. That's why he's on Sunday night football. You don't need to be a smart or a pro.

It's the same reason why chicks don't need to be funny. It's because they can, they don't need to be funny to get fucked. No, that's, I disagree with that. I'm saying you have to be a good at speaking to a camera if you're an athlete and that's why it's very rare That they are good. Yeah. Well, no, they want the good ones ESPN and you see take the good ones And that's why when you go lower in the level and sports channels You see like the other guys pop up. You're like what the fuck is he doing there? And he's like I don't know I just want to get tackled and like that made no sense what we're talking about.

ESPN brings in so many people in there. Well, they have to because they have to. That's why the NFL prime time has stayed the same. And that's why CBS is stayed the same as when you get a guy that works. And then the ultimate guy, Michael, Michael Strayhan just fucking took the ball. He just takes every job. He's like, great. He's like, great.

Yeah. And she's on a reliable, regis and Michael. And she's in a good, good, good job. And she's on a really, really, really, really, really the sharp is barely passable. Oh, it's insane. Like what he says shit I'm like why is he on the halftime show of CBS but Ray Lewis I've seen him before but I didn't seem last night. And then last night also Deon was interviewing people for NFL Network. What he was not ending in question marks. He's like this. All right, we're here. This man is excited. Yeah. He did that, like he did that three times in a row

with no question. He was just like, he just got drafted. Well, because a lot of it, what's funny is you take a lot of the, with sports journalism, they take like actual sports journalists and then fans complain to like, what does she know? He never played and like, all right, let's get a player and then he's like,

aw, man's difficult. Well, you know, doing those shows are really hard. Fuck yeah, they're really hard, because the cameras go on, you gotta know, there's a hope, if you look, you gotta talk to the camera, you gotta talk to your fellow guys, you gotta have your set up of what you're gonna say next. They know the question that's gonna be asked.

So they have to format their answer and it has to be in a certain amount of time because they have people in the ear going, I wrap it up. And it's all live on top of it. What's alive, they have a delay. Is it a delay? No, almost.

There's a delay. A few second delay, but that's a lot. Half time shows, that's what guys like James Brown, how other guys like that that lead those things. The Chris Collins worth is unbelievable And it just happens to be that he also played in the NFL like he's an amazing broadcaster. I think the Amorino is pretty good Yeah, Marino's pretty good bill cower films is good. I like a word name and all white guys Really guys? Yes, white guys Yes, why got you? I like eight men good.

That's Johnson. Hey, Trigman. How about Phil Sims? Boo. Don't like Phil Sims. Always brings up the fact that he used to play. We can. He brings up that too.

He brings up the Cowboys all the time. All the time. Rodney Harrison's great. He's awesome with Bob Costas and Tony Dungee's awesome, even though he's a coach. Well, you know, with the UFC, MMA on the Fox now. That's different. Including me, Bobby. I know. Well, I saw you just sitting there drinking coffee. If you're only in a bar barely.

You look like a little James by a tree in a park by himself. Just playing with a twig. Okay. Wow. Two, there we go. Two, two, two, three. Bobby Hemingway. I'm not gonna count that as a joke. Does he get the bomb down?

Yeah, he gets the bomb down. That wasn't a joke, it was a sentence. Yeah, but it was a long one. That we were looking for a funny ending. We were praying for a We really just say the ending like it was a punchline, but it was just a sentence You spill that coffee in the couch you get you're gone. Dude look at Lewis's crotch. No, I know he's he's had those Those jeans were passed down from his father and his father before I am those jeans saw Hendrix Johnny Listen, here's a deal but Rogan is an amazing It's those jeans saw Hendrix Johnny Listen here's a deal the Rogan is an amazing Rogan's amazing. I think gold is amazing. I tell you stinks

But when you went goldberg the wrestler went into MMA commentating The worst because he'd he'd literally come into the ring after and he did the same thing He would just just go, how was it? You also can't have a guy that big because most of them do the heavyweight MMA fighters only go up to 265. So you have this behemoth of a dude that makes even the heavyweight look kind of small. So it's really, it's really,

it's really, it could throw a trick. Logan was great. Logan's a big trick. Greg, Frank Trigg, is great. You know, Logan's a big dude, but he's short. So he makes everyone's, Logan, it look, Logan is the best. He is, he could commentate anything.

His knowledge and his confidence and his, he's, he's a highly intelligent guy. You know, he's just a, just a highly intelligent guy that tells great dick jokes. And it's awesome to watch him. It's always good when you know a comment like we know Logan's funny. So I always love watching him in the ring. Like when you see a fighter say some crazy shit. Yeah. Like our Rogan's gonna be able to, you know, Rogan will make us fun. I'm working at the Wayans at all the time. Do you see himself stopping himself from saying the rancid shit? The Wayans brothers? The Wayans brothers. They're actually

accommodating him and maybe we're talking commentating. You're gonna have to go to you. Uh, chill sun and is amazing. Awesome. Uh, and is amazing awesome Florian Kenny Florian is amazing I'll imagine boxing Paulie imagine on it magna nolly What the slice lip right yeah, he's great, too, but yeah, I mean It's very hard to do and these guys are coming from no television experience They're coming from playing in you know in the field or in the ring or wherever the fuck. And now a sudden you're in a studio with a suit and you have all this knowledge in front of you, all these people. And I've done red eye. If you've done red eye,

I've done red eye. So three of us have done red eye. We're doing red eye next. I'm doing red eye this one's day. You can watch. Right. So when you do that, you got to write all your stuff out. You got to send it in. You have to have your answers ready yeah and you got to put your your your even your funny in a form of a of a of an answer we have to make a workable of an opinion it's it's great when you see a player or

an athlete go right into it and it's just seamless like Teddy bruski when he retired from the Patriots he got right on the espionage like fuck it looks like Teddy's been like, like, went to broadcast. Bruski's great. Yeah, he's awesome. He's got it. And like I said, Montana, that was the biggest disappointment when he retired in 94. I'm obsessed with Joe Montana when he was on the air in 95. I was like, Joe, and then you're like, oh, he sucks.

It sucks. You know who sucks? I don't know. Cruz. Well, he comes off like a dick. He's got a smarminist to him. Yeah, I don't really like him. Ryan Stin Stin.

Faber, I love Faber, but he's's not that good at like being on the commentating. I just want to fuck his mouth. I think okay. I think I want to do his chin. Baseball players. Dude you do his chin I do his mouth. Alright. Wow.

Just got a tag team in the dudes face. Wow I just got to take this off. But I'm saying baseball players. Why are you here? Baseball players have the easiest. Rabbit around your arm. Yeah why don't you rabbit around your ears. No there are some who stick. Cancer awareness. wrap around your arm yeah why did you wrap it around your there are some who just can't say where it is

wrap it around your fucking leg like cha-ching you're more than a terrible you didn't like your Morgan Tarrant I thought it was enjoyable because it was so bad you so bad he explained the foul poll like a legitimately explained the foul poll during a game he will explain things I'm one time I was watching a Giants game and he explained the batter's box getting messed up from people stepping in.

He goes, it's Chuck. It's Chuck. So you know what's gonna get messed up. You're like, yeah, Joe. We're good. You can move forward. But I like when guys really, really stink like on those, because it's entertaining.

I can't when he, because you got one guy, one guy, and then all of a sudden he speaks. And you're like, what the fuck is? That's to me, that's what Shannon Sharp is. Shannon Sharp is, he is. Because Bill Cowell will be like, I just think, you know, you really need to look at the corner backs,

listen to him go, now Bill, I know what I play for the Ravens. I was always looking at the corner backs, they're like, what are these guys gonna blitz? These guys got a blitz. And you're like, what the fuck is Shannon talking about? Yeah, his mouth is. Sterling Sharp was amazing. When he was on NFL pride time. I think he's on the NFL network now. Sterling

Sheridan of what's his name? Madden. I think he is sick. He was slowly going and so I think they decided that it was best. He's gone. He's a lot. He has a partner retired. Pat's someone. Pat's someone was a there's a partner retired Pat some of us pass away. Oh, sorry

Pat someone was a player became a play by play guy That's very easy by the way one of the best Very good. I said a play by play guy Joe Gonna wrote Joe Rogan as a play by play no Rogan's the color commentary color commentary But he's it's almost like a play by play there. They're watching the fight and go but he's he's not on UFC tonight No, he's not on Fox News. No Rogan's play by play there they're watching the fight and go but he's he's not on UFC tonight. No, he's not on Fox News. When the Rogan's play by play Goldie's Call of Comet is that what Goldie does? I thought yeah, the Rogan knows his shit.

He's the analyst guy Goldie is that oh my what a great thing. Goldberg I couldn't take Goldie when he used to do that. So you want to be an ultimate fighter. Well, is that Goldie has said the most ridiculous shit ever, dude? What do you mean? When he first Travis Looter came into fight Anderson Silver, it's a thing that people constantly have a gif of. But what?

A gif? I was just talking, all right, a gif, like gif, no. But yo, you got gif. Yo, you got gif, don't you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I was talking, I was on his podcast and I kept on, what is a, what is a mouth? A roof to the mouth of the mouth

uh... doodie said uh... which i was coming down he was like and the michael jordan ask uh... brazilian jitsu skills of travis looter it's just like her in the looters the most whatever fighter on earth to call the michael jordan ask often it doesn't make sense even if he was great well jordan ask often that doesn't make sense yeah even if he was great why

well jordan ask doesn't make a ask means they're similar to them he could say he's the michael joe he's the yeah yeah like a new idea of fighting yeah and a new s unless he'd fucking ran and jumped from the free throw a lot of it was a ridiculous the only in general i can't say this sure i would love ring girls and cheerleaders

to be gone Ariana Celeste I follow her on Twitter. Ariana Ariana. It's like it's so funny because it's such Hot chick with nothing else but being a hot chick. I just I just want them gone. I don't understand cheerleaders Are you you got to go to go unfortunately? You have a hard out. What do you like? I got a hard out? What the fuck you doing is gonna go upstate state but i also what i you know yeah not to fucking play in the scope of dumb cunt accusation but i did get here eleven fifty no i love that you leaving on a passive aggressive you call it too i call them a dumb cunt before you leave i did not say that i said i've been accused of being a cunt because i care about people's time and feelings and i must a thought I'm gonna go with

I'm gonna have to re rule on this. I mean yeah, you're gonna have to go We're gonna have to do this civil case like when OJ beat the murder case and then they take him to civil court Murder was the case that they gave me that's what it is. I Joe list. Take care, buddy Chris GoPro is Ron Goldberg make me check out Tuesday stories with Goldberg. Are you mad at me bro? I love you dude dude guys check out Tuesday's the stories with Lewis Gomez will probably be back on before Bobby And I have me and work on your baby a little bit. How about you work on your act? I act every day dude Dog that was a dog. I see a lady Joe. Hey Joe. I'm sorry, Ken Boy.

Thanks buddy. I'm sorry that, uh, you're not sorry. I appreciate the apology. I accept it and I appreciate it. Alright, so were you done? It's buried. I feel like you're mad at me here, bro. No, I love you buddy.

Get the fuck out. You're spashing my show with your exit. I'm sorry. A hard out means leave. Later, dog. Love you, Joe. It's two o'clock. Take care, buddy. Lewis, I like the most I think but if you're well, you know what fuck you then I'm mad at you now for saying that what do you mean? It's only cuz it's okay?

I Angie You ever looking for a small mouth joking's all right. I'll see you later, buddy. Take care I really I would love to get rid of I don't I don't know I don't get chair leaders I don't get that adult women make a career out of it. I don't know what they add to the game I'm rather fine worth I'd rat fuck cheerleaders. What do they do? You don't do that keep your attention when they Okay, when it was back in the day when men were men you need it

Why why why because do we are an 80 you know we're an ADD generation? Okay? That's what the Trinit they have a million things going on in a game a million Trinitron? Just go trinitron sounds like a new gym that you fucking Don't lose the cell and memberships to trinitron between between rounds We are an 80-d generation. You don't want people going into their fucking cell phones and talking to their own thing or going to the bathroom You want people's eyes glued to the fucking action and I More so now that 30 years ago great. I'm done with hooters

Hooters who does be came with cheerleaders. I'm done with green girls. I don't need it. I don't need some Well, you don't fucking bimbo who listen first of all these girls are very smart Oh come off it, dude You're not smart you you went and you learned how to do a flip and you have pom-poms in your hand. How smart are you? Okay, you know who smart a chick was a job listen I don't I don't get it. I love cheerleaders. No, you don't yes, I do I go to live football games. I'm like oh, look at what I like the ice ring girls to list

And I went to the islanders Bruins game and the girls that come out and take the ice shavings off the ring Okay, put them to work. Yes. I'll me do it. Okay, put them to work. I'm doing My girls are making make it 50 pounds make it heavy You watch the buckle have you on the ring Just watch him buckle. He watched a buckle half-year on the ring. Make it out now. Can I see you, Caddle Bell? Yeah, area. Areon is about to fall down.

Yeah. Does he make it through? She's like, oh, make him, spice it down like powerlion. What the fuck? You mean to tell me, without that bitch, I'm not going to know it's round two. Go, fuck, when you know it, when you had a ring girl when they had 47 rounds of fighting,

it's okay, I get it. They're doing bear novel. It's seven hours in and two fucking welcome back to shay stadium it's currently eighty four degrees out when around thirty six looks like some of them got a little bit of nick above his eye but they're still fighting in their giant swamp hands uh... i i i i think it's you know what it is i don't look make them do something i love that i live in baseball make the girl like a a bunch of hot girls come

out and clean off the field in the summer. The hottest thing I've ever seen in my life the Red Sox back in 04 when you guys were in your first series they had this foul ball this chick that would do the foul balls. She was so hot and she caught one off a bat that was I was like that girl has athletic talent like she snapped it up. I like that. I like that But a ring girl walking around holding up a fucking cardboard I just think it's aggravates me and then they sit there in the best seats in the house and they they have their robes on and Misurbal they just sitting there on their phones tweeting their hot I don't know if you're a ex-boyfriend and they're sitting there

Yeah, they're on their phones and they then they smile He and the smile as soon as the camera goes it the smile goes away They're fucking miserable No, they don't win car girls cheerleaders. They make garbage Not cheerleaders made like a home fuck yeah, that's not a lot of money What do you got? What do you guys this is it's like it's like a speed train if you don't get in the fucking door It's gone. Yeah, welcome to the fucking show the funniest part is when the camera stays on them And they don't realize the cameras still on him and you watch their cold face for

Yes, or they're like hi Yeah, and then the camera stays and I Just like fucking stare at the couch. Now, the Summering Girls, the one from Brazil that's really cool, personable. She was really friendly and she really, you can tell she would love being there. But when I look over and I just see a girl miserable

because I'm hot and I have a job because I'm hot. And I can't wait to go to my fucking after party. Yeah, but that's what just Hot girls know that's what hot girls are I don't know how to get that treatment. I like what the Giants do they just have old people working the sidelines for the baseball games. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking great. And you know what they're all they're all like old school. I would love I would love to see a fucking old dude I'd love to see you guys are unchirring on enough Like don't give them palm pop I'm gonna be see the Lewis walk around holding up a two I'm serious some real violence this round you know

Psych you be to fucking pump the crowd up. Oh him waving to the camera Everybody you know I just love him. Hey everybody. You know, I just, but look, if you're gonna get the dream job because of what you look like. That's, but that's what hot girls do. Hot girls get amazing things. That's why old women that aren't, like, based their lives on being hot. And also, hold on. They get bitter. That's why old women with plastic surgery face there's such cuts all the time because they're like why you mean to me it's a cuz you're not hot anymore yeah i don't know like there needs it's part

of the branding for the the company as well you know you're and did you look there they're demographics are fucking eighteen to forty-year-old men yeah for all these sports you know so they need to brand themselves like it's not it's not just actually eighteen to forty five thousand it's not it's not uh just a uf It's not it's not just a UFC fight, which is all in the court. Are you any Celeste and Brittany Palmer? Or they're wearing UFC gear and all the catalogs and they're on the way. She's on guy code now. Oh, are you on? Yeah, I God damn it. I need to get on guy code. I mean, I don't know why it's not like we're in the same room She comes in whenever her private

I mean, it's funny. It's she does the same thing where she's just like boys. Don't be weird This is an excuse to get her on like yeah, I mean looks so there is it's all part of the marketing of the branding By the way, yeah, these are businesses. These are franchises that I mean let me let me take it down Let me take it down. I don't hate it. I don't like I'm like you feel it's unnecessary I just it's just like I want I'm watching a fight and all of a sudden the camera I'd rather have the camera I'd rather have the camera on Bruce Buffer screaming at the fighter and they don't show him announcing the that's what I'm done but they'll show this girl

has an attitude of I'm sick I don't want to fucking be here hi round two thanks guys like Rich Vos I fucking love Bruce Buffer and I love the fact that he's a Lewis and I went to my first UFC fight with Lewis, a chale zone and Buns Jones and I told Lewis I was like I'm so excited because it's my first time I get to see Bruce Buffer alive and Lewis was like it's an experience. It's awesome. He is amazing. The show is such a different thing than watching it at home.

It's like hockey. It's really as like hockey. It improves hockey is way better live. Holy shit. I went to my first hockey sport life. With less. It was amazing. I don't like sports at all.

I love going to hockey again. It's so much fucking fun. Well, I need to look anything alive. I don't know. I think not baseball. Baseball. I got a little little fair think I'm not baseball baseball. I got a little a little a fair It'd be I mean I'm not bad. You know this is life football. I mean Anything live is a magical because you're a Torey Amos. She was a rain

dogs Kid did you guys buy your cry towels? They're made out of armpit hair from other female lesbian. I waited. Oh! There you go. Lewis is back. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I can't tell you that. Yeah, now you're gone again. I waited on Tori Amos, and I was drunk, because I was on a double. And so, like in between my shifts, I went and had like a bunch of shots of whiskey and a couple beers, and I was waiting on her at this really big table.

Yeah. And I was trying not to get too involved with the table because I knew I smelled a little like whiskey. Yeah. And then I went to go pour more water and she like stopped me and grabbed my hand. Yeah. I think she was drunk.

And she was like, you have a beautiful soul. And I got, thank you to her. Are you kidding me? No, I got, thank you to her, you're famous. That's the sort I said. Can you tell us the rest? She went, you have a beautiful soul but you smell like guacamole. But your your father's sins are gonna kill you. Oh my Quats, Tori, you have a beautiful soul, but I did not ask for more water. Yeah, you have a beautiful soul,

but if you pull me more water again, I will fucking kill you. I wanted bottle water, not to slop the town. You have a beautiful soul, but your nose is weird. Why is your head so long? Why is gravity affecting your nose differently than the rest of your body? Why do you have the body of the torso of a cartoon character? Your legs are too long and your torso is too small. Do you just do voices or is there any substance here? I don't you try to write a joke. What did you say? Tori? Hey, you have a beautiful soul do the macho man only do macho man That's all people care about you like this you have a beautiful so anybody want to be not now can you do Andre? No, that's the only thing you can do now walk away. Don't look at me walk away

I actually Tori amuses the more the red hair right yeah, I can't rape like 12 times Jesus she was the one with the red hair, right? Yeah, I can't rape like 12 times. Jesus, she was. 12, nobody gets raped 12. No, she was raped multiple times. Not 12, you can't get raped 12 times. She's like, and that's a baker's dozen. That's a guy I should get a crawl's off her.

That's like an old school big J. J. was pretty fun. She got raped so many times that she had to be raped while composing a song about being raped. I repeated his joke, so. I was actually, here's my Tory, I'm gonna show you. If you had fingerless gloves, that might have worked better. Here's my two of a fucking hate those mittens. I was waiting tables as well.

And one of her roadies, yeah, who was a blonde girl with a mohawk. She had tattoos on the side of her head. Yeah. Pretty girl. Like Luna Vashon? Pretty girl, but blonde hair, t-sh- Mohawk, right? Long, blonde, mock. Tattoo's on the side of, uh, weighted tables with her.

After I said, we should go hang out. I want to take you, I talked to her. We want to pick and erupt in my Jeep. Yeah. Dores off or doors off? Doors off. Yeah, fuck yeah, Bobby. She said, she goes, I'm a bodybuilder too.

I said, no, you're not. She goes, yes, I am. She took her clothes off, get a one piece nightion. Shredded bodybuilder. I love that. No. I don't like that. She looked like Zap.

That was Zap. Yeah. Was that her name? Yeah, from American Gladiators. Yeah, oh my God. I was a lace fan because she was more looked like zap. That was zap. Yeah. From fucking, was that her name? From American Gladiators. Yeah. Oh my God. I was a lace fan. Cause she was more lady like. I like zap. I like the zap. I like the extra.

She, she uh, takes it off. I took it to a carnival. Then we went back to my house and we fucked the fuck out of each other. Yeah. It was so hot. This fucking goddamn rode. I fucked. So me and you had something coming.

What? What? The Tori Amos told me that a beautiful soul and you banged one of her rowdy's? I banged her guy rowdy. I heard you're a guy rowdy. He's like, hey, Robert, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna drip on your dick real tight.

I don't want some Tori. I'm gonna rape you like a rape Tori 12 times. Oh. Listen guys, we're gonna wrap this up. You guys have been fantastic today. Every was on fire. We had a, I hope we've learned some things. Scrapo.

I think we did. I think we learned, number one that Joe List has got so much money in triple-way gift cards. I'm glad you don't think that's a little cheap of him to do that. He had a, no, I don't because he had a $9 gift certificate. I don't believe that. Well, that, that's not what you, here's the deal. You cannot, not believe it, that's don't because he had a nine dollar gift certificate well that that that's not what you here's the deal you cannot

not believe it that's the facts because he said it so we have to go with the facts were given the facts were given from him is nine dollars I don't know did he brags so much about the five hundred dollars in gift cards he brags about having ten million viewers he's probably got four people that listen to a shitty podcast it's like his mom in her office and I said that yes I said that you talk about my son. Fuck your podcast. Yeah. No. Um, by the way, I really just think it was because Joe had a bad set in front of Max. And I murdered. I thought he was great. Yeah. My kid loves you. I mean, Max is adorable. James, if James didn't give me the stink eye on Instagram,

I think I'd be a lot higher up on him. But can I just tell you James is a little point to his push? I think I'd be a lot higher up on them. But can I just tell you, James is a little point new to push. He just moved up to him a long time. That James loves Max. Max was just a shithead to James. He's gonna fuck that up. We bring him both on the podcast.

I have them for kids. He has a lot of kids. I don't put my kid on the internet at all. And I shouldn't. I don't. Well, you have a couple Instagram pictures. A couple, I very rarely do I do it. I, because my, you know, look, a lot of my fans

are very happy for me that I have a baby. So I do it. Because look, a lot of my fans are very happy for me that I have a baby. So I do it once in a while for those people. And I filled those out some scumbags too. Some guys will write some crazy shit and then you're fucking gone. I was joking, go fuck yourself. So I wait to have those things on you in person.

Yeah, whatever. I don't even, but then Lewis is like, I'm gonna put, okay, post it. But I, you know, but, you know, I didn't think he, you know, he post, what did you write on the title? I wrote, uh, Bobby Kelly's kid is evil. It's just like, Lewis, you're so stupid.

But, but I can't wait until he leaves my life and goes to somebody else's fame. Like, I hope he, I can't wait until he upgrades famous people and goes to somebody else's fame like I hope he I can't wait till the upgrades famous people Because I can't wait That's gone baby death's yes, oh he wouldn't a second. Oh, he would leave you know what's funny I was you guys always just a shit on me for doing that like when I when I audition for Danes NBC show and you're like Oh, you can be throwing suit fires everywhere. It's you should me but Lewis is the dude that would absolutely he would drop this That's he has the loyalty he's a mercenary. Yeah, he's got that squad baby

He is a mark. He's a mark. Yeah, he's a guy. But here's the thing though. I would be I'd be to lose him It would it would be so good. Well if he came in to go do it I'm gonna I'm going to LA and I'm gonna desk What and I'm gonna co-host the show I'd be like thank you fucking God first For do you really think I would do that Bobby you think I fucking There we go. I've been offered first of all let me tell you some people offer me podcasts every week Lewis Jay Gomez is a wrestling promo. Are you say out of your fucking mind? I was like I'm a rye cast guy. I will never go to another fucking network I was never I would never leave Bobby Kelly's fucking side because you've done more for

me than anybody else in this fucking industry. A lot of people around the podcasting world say Lewis, Jay Gomez, where are you gonna end up? They say Lewis, you could go to desk. What they say Lewis, you could go to all things comedy, but I look at them in their face and I say, I'm a real-ass dude and I end up in one place only and that's riot cast with my family members on the rattlesnake And the real rattlesnake stone coke Steve Austin says come on would you do stone cold? Would you join his network? I would be so I would move to Texas

if it's so cold. Why don't we get in your show over here? I hopefully hopefully soon depending on what happens with serious. Oh it's you and big J are coming to riot cast. I mean that's all yeah that's what we want to do. Are you still doing shows together? I got I brought my SD card because I need help with you. I know or yes.

Yes whatever I have is going to do a last show. We tried doing one but the guys from cringe messed up my SD card because I need help with you. I know that I know or yes, yes, whatever I have is When did you do a last show? We tried doing one but the guys from cringe messed up my SD card That's why I need help. Why are you doing it with cringe? They took a thing to serious because serious wants to do it Night want to do a thing. Why are you stuttering you because it's in negotiate? It's young is it? Yeah, my my my stopping ground series that you just me by myself But I'm trying to do it with we're trying to get the podcast That we have going right now on we have about so they want you but you're jamming Jay in there No, they they want Jay to they want both of us. They want both you and Jay. Yeah

They want Jay and I okay Jay and I Jay they want to I Is that the name of the show Jay? That's a great name Jay and I that should be But we don't know yet. That's a long thing going, but I'm going to do a podcast either by myself or the big Jay more than breed direct cast. All right, cool. Listen, I want to thank you guys for coming on. As usual, you guys are all kill. Joe list, everybody go to check out Joe list on Twitter,

make you this comedy at Joe list comedy. Scobo, what would you learn today? That I learned that I can't be late anymore They learned that I cannot be late anymore. Are you gonna not be late? I'm not gonna be late anymore Why are you late? Do you know being lazy to sign a disrespect right? I don't tell a girl for the whole time But you know it's a sign of this read when you're on time It shows that you respect the other person who they are and and what they ask for and what you agreed to when you're on time, it shows that you respect the other person who they are and what they ask for and what you agree to. When you're late and you are late every fucking time, way more than you're on time, you don't

give a shit. So you're not going to be late anymore. Why? No, I'm not going to be late anymore. You promise? I promise, yes, I'll be here. So there you go, guys. It doesn't matter. I'm so into

God I've been watching so much WWE. I love the rock you gotta know his new thing on Instagram. Yeah We're we screams focus. Yeah, he's just working on you focus just screams at somebody in the game I'll do the rock is the man. He is a new But he is all he is is a fucking ring card girl. That's all he is and he turned it into that He's just a big beautiful mussely guy. No, who's turned it in a career? Oh, no, no, you're fucking dumb. Number one. He was a division one athlete. Thank you. Back to born sap Thank you. I said before all these athletes are I made the same analogy before he just don't they don't have to become Persons or smart

Anticulate and because they're big old athletes. I made this point before. It's the same thing that fucking rink royal girls are except he took it. Yeah, lose government. It's not nothing about. No, when I tell you to, he took that, he got all the answers. We've got nothing but questions. Look, he took being just a fucking big mussely fucking athlete and turned it into a career that I fucking love and I don't think that's a wrong analogy. Yeah, the much will mean turn an old boy in the madness. Yeah, dig it. We're not even out of conversation. You fucking compared the rock to a ring girl. Yeah,

the rock is fucking to make that's what athletes are. They're just fucking big meat heads that use their bodies to it and then if they can make it a career later on, which he has, using your body. So a ring girl, make it a career later on, which he has. Using your body. So, ring girl, what does a ring girl do? Does your body uses her looks? No, it isn't. It's a God-given feeling. When you're working out five hours a day,

and then you're performing in a ringer on a field, and putting your body to the test to get out of people's work out five hours a day, you don't think all they do is work out and look that way. No. Yeah, no Britney Palmer works out like four hours a day. No, you're bugging. Yeah, are you are you on the Celeste works out? I've got oh fuck both you do these bitches got six packs and Asses and muscles and triceps fuck all they do is look like that. Yeah, fuck both you There's no way they work out five hours a day

You guys are ridiculous 90 minutes is all you need we're talking guys lit 225 It's not your mama's yoga dude. I just downloaded DDP for WrestleMania for W2K 14 Yeah, I'm all in play in all my matches is DDP. Why don't we gonna do DDP? When did you come in yet? It's any day now? I spy smell He called me to do it. He called you Fuck you dude. I co-step at radio every week. I know is he general moral is he? No, I know geez She know how does somebody who know nothing about MMA so funny because I can't say it but Bobby

Wedded Houston there yesterday is like why the fuck are you on this show? But Bobby wedded you sitting there yesterday is like why the fuck are you on this show? Like you know many people love this sport that would just fucking kill And you you fucking old cut you're here for no reason Bobby there's nothing better than like being at the seller and when you're like downstairs on stage And if you're at the table and there's like someone that's like being annoying, like a fan, or like an open mic that's sitting at the table, knowing you're about to walk upstairs, fills me with the greatest joy in the world.

Dick Blood. Yeah, my dick gets real heavy in my jeans. Knowing Bobby's about to fucking evict someone, because he walks up, and he's just like this thing, like he just tasted something, he's like, who are you, you who you? fucking God you and Schumer

Fucking get people off that table. Yeah, go man, too. Goldman does like a very confused. What are you talking about look? But Bobby and Schumer just fucking fuck people. It's amazing. It's my favorite thing to watch I got a fight I'm coming down here guy cuts me off I mean and a hammer three the new smaller just that bloody you cuts me off And if I didn't if I didn't turn my wheel he would have kicked my car Yeah, you know, I mean just what so I said fuck it. I'm gonna let it go then I I'm fucking truck two Spanish dudes They I'm like you're not cutting me. I'm not I gotta go. I'm late. Yeah, you're not cutting me I'm not I got to go I'm late you're not cutting me off this guy pulls in he then he I get in front I don't let him in I

win this battle then he he comes very close he starts hitting my car with a paper no I get out of the car what the fuck what are you doing he goes look at you look at you did I go did I hit you did you hit me no but you you you you know yeah he goes what are you gonna do buddy you gonna do somebody I go I go fuck he goes, what are you gonna do, buddy? You gonna do something, but I go, I go, I go, fuck yeah. Really, what do you wanna do this? You wanna, what do you wanna have a big fight about? Cause I cut you off in traffic,

and then I get back in my car and I'm driving up, and we're shoulder-should I go, he starts saying shit, I go, buddy, buddy, do you really want this to go down? Do you really want us to do or about to do over, you be, we with both you I go you working right now right I'm working right now to a both fucking working with both hustling and this is what you want to do this is this what you really want rattlesnake

them and he goes I go he goes yeah but you I go you hit my car with your paper and he goes yeah that was that was wrong you're right that was wrong wow he goes I'm sorry that was wrong I go good man let's just do let Wow. He goes, I'm sorry, that was wrong. I go, good man, let's just do, let's just, let's go. Let's just call it a day, all right? God, I don't have this, I wish I had that. I can do it a little bit. I got into a cab at LaGuardia and I told them,

I live in Astoria, which flips them out every time because I want a big fair. So I know they tell the guy like, hey, get them a re-admit ticket because these guys about to lose the shit when I get in the cab. So I get in the cab and, let's re-admit ticket. They get to cut the whole line at the airport and get right in because they had such a small fare.

Right. Because to my house from LaGuardia. I didn't know that. It's a bucks, exactly, I had to learn that. But they lose their goddamn minds when you get in. And I get in and I'm like, hey man, go to a story, a 31st in a story, Boulevard. What the fuck?

What the hell? Hey, calm the fuck down. And we started yelling at each other Yeah, but then immediately I just want everyone to like me. So I'm just like hey, man It's not I go I told him to give you a read mid-tech videos. Okay, I didn't know that it's like this weird I actually had probably the most mature moment I've had ever and I had Bobby Kelly in my head right it was It was it was kind of a dude was crazy I was outside of my apartment and then I tell you so it's a black guy in his car and I had Bobby Kelly in my head, right? It was it was it was kind of a dude was crazy I was outside of my apartment and that's it was a black guy in his car and I was walking sport outside of your apartment

That's my guy. Yeah I'm walking sport dude and we have this thing where we have a when you know when you make eye contact and you can't look away Yeah, so I yeah, you know you can but go ahead We had that that fucking guy damn he's got them by buried really He really is a gorilla. You know when you're challenging me for my space. That's it. But no black people and Puerto Rican people really do understand this is a weird alpha male thing. We make eye contact and I'm the first to break. Am I like? No, I got it. We have that moment where we can't break it. He's looking and I'm looking and I'm looking and so finally turned in. It's like, what are you looking at? Now, what are you

looking at? What are you looking at? And I'm walking my dog the whole time, and we're like staring each other down, we're saying the shit, and then I started laughing. Right. I just started cracking up, and I was like, dude, I was like, and I'm stoned. I was like, I wasn't looking at you. You weren't looking at me.

I just made eye contact, randomly. Right. And then he started laughing. It was like a thuggy blast, dude. He started laughing, and he was like, man, you're right. He was like, I was it right He was like, I was it He was like, I thought you thought I was a cop and you were gonna let your dog shit and I pick it up So that's why I was looking and then crazy and then we boy, it was kind of funny

And I was like, I mean, you know, like this is we're all we're all crazy people die every day over that moment Yeah, New York City Yeah, and we shook hands. It was like dude have a good day That's hilarious. You know that with that guy today He was like, you're gonna do something about it. And at that moment, I, you know, I should have went, you know, I was gonna go on my car and grab something

in my head, go get a pipe, go get something. Cause there's two of them, right? But before it's like, he's in double dragon. I just fucking, ah, that might be the funniest thing Lewis has ever said. I just sat in a laugh and I go, really dude, you wanna fucking do this? You're gonna, you that what I said. I just sat in laughing, I go really dead. You wanna fucking do this? You're gonna, you're working.

And when I brought up, and then when I, it's like, I started laughing, because it's like, dude, we're fighting over, we're both at the life. We're just trying to get to where the fuck we're going. And there's a million people trying to do the same thing. And it's frustrating. It's like, it's not worth it. None of it's worth it.

Well, when you bring the realness into the situation, like you guys just both explain, like you brought in like, hey, this is kind of ridiculous. People automatically are like, yeah, it is. Yeah, I was crossing the street in Austin with R.I. Schuffier and this car full of thugs almost hit us. Right.

Just come out of the way you told you. But they like, that's where they kind of was. Where they're like, damn, I'm not Jewish. I'm like, oh, you think I'm Jewish? Thank you. So he's like taking the corner and the dudes, oh shit, like stops real quick. Yeah.

And Ari goes, Ari's laughing. He goes, yeah, motherfucker, you were getting mad at that dude. You almost killed us. And I'm like, immediately, like, oh, good. What are you saying? But then those dudes are like, ah shit. They turned into Dan Natterman. I was like, hey, man.

But they were like, they immediately, they started laughing. I got this dude caught us, because because we almost fucking we're pissed about this Other guy was murdered these two. Yeah, yeah, so it's it's always that realness when you bring him into the reals the situation Like you do much better. I felt after that though Like it's a this is why I said I you my head because I think of the sewer when you and your dog on the guy Yeah, almost guy and I go like I'm like I spend so much of my time being angry and then what happens is we never end up fighting And then I walk away and I go, it's like, I'm a pussy, I didn't fuck that guy up.

And it fucks up my day. Who gets that? Dude, it's everybody else on your day gets that. It's crazy. My wife gets that. My kid gets the vibrations. My, everybody, every phone call. So you really, it's laughable.

You know when I started learning about it when I started driving again in New York. And I realized I Had to let go. Yeah, I literally had to let go because I don't there's nothing I could do about being in traffic Yeah, except turn the radio on make a few phone calls and And and keep and keep going and try to get the fuck out of it. There's nothing I can do. That's the greatest thing you can do is laugh. You gotta let go.

That diffusing that dude, it was like a thing that I learned. Because I walked away and I was like, holy shit, I feel good. Good. That guy feels good. We solve the problem. And you're almost friends. Can I get you like,

why are you walking up, maybe see again? You're ghetto friends. You're never ghetto friends. And I guarantee you're almost friends. Can I like you? Like I'm gonna maybe see you again. You're ghetto friends. Yeah, I'm a good What's that I guarantee you you're gonna get in trouble in front of like some Tranched-stop with your family and he's gonna come out of the pack of black dudes that are about to kill you He's gonna yo yo yo let this motherfucker go. Yeah, right. No, he's gonna hit me. He's like stay down Dude, I'm saving your life. I'm saving you But this is run. You know how happy this makes me as Lewis's friend that he's learning this

So now when we're on public Lewis does it go what's that guy started out like Lewis let that go We're gonna look Lewis at a bar in New Haven just went off on this fat chick was probably one of the funniest thing I stand by that But I don't need to do it No, no she needed to know that she was fat Just let it go. What the fuck? She needed to know. What about you? What have people said that about you?

Dude, if I was acting like her, somebody should let me know. Hey, bro, what is she yet for? That's what that is. I agree with that. Stop, what is it? What is it? It's a hammered girl.

We go to this bar after the show. And she's a meathead bar. It was first of all, Chris Gopo said, Frank Papi's pizza is not the best. He's an idiot. It's not the best. Look, dude, look, theo said Frank Papi's piezer is not the best. He's an idiot. No, it's not the best. Look, dude, look, the standards pretty high. It's unbelievable. Now I'm thinking about pizza.

We need to move on. It's unbelievable, my favorite. I'm very proud of it. On this block, there's some amazing jazz go. Well, let's move on. I'm too hungry to talk about this. So fucking, dude, so we're standing there. And the whole idea was just to go and look at chicks

and be flirty and be idiots. So we're there with a couple guys from the show. They're fans of gay kid. It was like actually awesome. Cool fucking gay dude, hitting on all of us. I'm this big whale of a bitch walks up to us and she's doing this like, country move where she's like, she's backing her giant back into our group. You know what I'm saying?

Like it's her back and her, it's just her back to everyone in the center of her group of dudes. We're just kind of like chilling there. So then the the gay guys brother goes to him Hey, dude go go talk to her because we were there just to talk to chicks and the gay guy was saying they could pick up chicks and shit So the I guess she heard him say go talk to her so she turned around she like spun around She's like what what you guys want to talk to me? What are you gonna say? What are you from where you from? Where you from she goes to me? She's like like where you from where you from to all of us? She's never went to you by the way. Yes, she did she did. She looked me right in my fucking eyes, dude I'm standing there. I love when somebody is accused of something that they believe in their heart

Is dude are you ready your fucking mind? I don't make it devil signs. I love that Lewis is like I looked into her eyes Rock eyes She could choose anything I've seen her point Shut up she would do anything though. She was being a con she was being a con she was being a con She was being a con but normal people just let it go. No, just let it go man Dan nope, I anybody said look I want you to do a morning show I would fucking I would leave only with dance out of it the only person I would do a show with this day

I'm sure that I would get hurt a little bit in the middle of the story If they said we needed a hole for the show I definitely pick you All right now we're the Lewis with the weather today is gonna be guys guys guys knocking off guys Guys you guys are crazy human as fuck out there So dude I literally I said I was like what what do you mean? What are you doing? I was like why are you even talking to us right now? Are you out of your mind? So she keeps on going and I was like you are you have fucking you have nine energy when you're a four get the fuck out of my face I mean that is incredibly harsh

No, no, he goes he goes why you even talking to us you nothing oh that's funny you nothing it was it was funny i'm not gonna lie it wasn't that it was no she here's the thing to i'm not gonna be a dick to an ugly chick fuck it to come over have fun well laugh a party i'd rather talk to that ugly chick she's not gonna be a cunt that's the point that's why you hang up with ugly chicks because they understand how gross i'm not gonna be a cunt to That's the point. That's why you hang out with ugly chicks because they understand, hey, I'm gross. I'm not going to be a cunt to the world. You know what's even worse? Mid-range girls that think they're hot, that have that conti-

She thought she was mid-range and then she had this meant because she was drinking. She thought it made her hot. Great thing I ever see. We think, oh, we are. Yeah, oh, dude, I am a solid six-five. But we're humble, though, dude. You're not a cunt. You're not a cunt. I'm kidding. It was the funniest thing I ever saw in college was this, I was at a bar with a- A fat girl chasing a duck. That was, that sounds hilarious.

My buddy Jay, we're at a bar. This chick's maybe like a six and a half. She's got big tits and she's just like the bartender and she was like being really conty for no reason. I'm just imagining Bobby Kelly and O'Wig right now for some reason. Dude, my buddy Jay said this and I've never watched someone just like go into someone's head and watch it all unravel. Jay goes, hey, my buddy Jay, she's like not paying attention.

He's like, hey, can we get a drink? She's like, I'll get you drinks when I think you need your drinks. And Jay goes, hey, come here. Hey, come here, look, she walks over and he goes, um, you're not that hot to be that big of a bitch like that. And you just watched her take it in. And and it was like three, two, one. And he started just unraveled. She was like, who the fuck says that?

And I was like, oh, you got her. And he's like, yeah, let's get out of here. But I've never seen someone just say something and destroy them and walk away. No, that's a problem because women were also sensitive around women. They are even not attractive women. And this really comes from guys. We're just not that we don't have the same type of insensitivity that women have.

Like if a woman doesn't find your director, she'll just sit in the room and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not my type, you're too fat and old. And you're like, okay, you're just like that, I actually have fucking feelings, you can't. I would never just call a chick fat, just because I decide I'm not attractive

or I'm like, oh, you're fat, you're just not my type. Women do shit like that all the time. Guys, we understand that women are sensitive, and but because of that sensitivity, because we walk on eggshells around them, every once in a while, they fucking get out of control, and they have to be brought back down to reality. It's true.

And that's why you exist on Earth. Lewis is the... Why am I here? I'm kind of a superhero. All right, listen, we're gonna get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I gotta go. I still think this year, we're gonna cheerleaves. I think... Huh? I don't think you're wrong. I don't think, I like go. Um, I still think that she's a rid of cheerleaders. I think, huh?

I think you're wrong. I don't think, I like replacing the fans. Guys, let's get into it again. Let's replace them with fans. No, my fans are not. Oh, fuck off. I don't like hot chicks, never have. Oh, bullshit.

I like, I like chicks. I like regular chicks. You're right, hot body goofy face. I like a hot chick, but not perfect. I don't like a girl who gets shit from her hotness, because that means she skipped pain. She skipped tragedy. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. She skipped her fucking to become a human. But there are hot girls that do have that humanity. Yeah. My girlfriend is smoking hot and she's the one of the

nicest people to live in. But she's not a fucking, she's not that, she's not a ring girl people. She's not a fucking she's not that she's not a ring girl hot She's I think she's a girl. No, she's not pretty smoking. Yo girls beautiful. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're beautiful Beautiful. Yeah, she's classically beautiful. She's fucking beautiful dude. She's a leading woman. Yeah She is that's what she's gonna leave Roberts is not hot. She wasn't hot Yeah, but she was beautiful man Man, I can't wait to Dylan McDermott takes my girlfriend like she moves out there. Yeah, you're done. Do your girls moving L.A. Done. You're done, dude. I'm telling you. I hope she becomes a street walker. I can't wait until she does. She gets a

rip your throat out. I can't Jesus Christ. I can't. He's literally just doesn't know where you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, fuck him. But it's bad. She marries Richard Geer at the end of the day. Go fly Richard Geer. It's Chris Pine. I can't wait until you get to an alien role. Start check three. You know what I can't wait? Oh my god, I'm waiting for that phone call

where she's gonna go. Guess who was hanging out with? And I'm like, who? She's like, Christopher Pine. I'd be like, oh, that's, he's so funny. He's like, you would really think he Christopher Pine. I'd be like, uh, that's, he's so funny. He's like, you would really think he's funny. I'd be like, I told them all about you. She says, he actually reminds me of you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, that just hurt me on a level where I can't explain. He's gonna be forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yeah, I'm Jason Siegel and forgetting Sarah Marshall. Which means I get me lacoonus. Bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra. I love me, they say she doesn't have a butt, but who I think she has the greatest ass ever But that's gonna be like I that's like my biggest you see her in Wizard of Oz

No, there's a scene when she's the the the the the the Oz movie that just came out with a Franco She was the witch when she crawled when he helped her up into the shoes wearing those pants her ass is fucking smoke And I paused it and did it on a fucking slow mo You're in time I mean I can't wait for you to meet him all right guys let's wrap this up dance out of what do you got Kennedy Center DC May 18th and then last week at June I'll be at Capsidian Austin Texas what do you get this Thursday guys May 15th at the clock stand-up New York labs right aboveup New York comedy club, 78th and Broadway, you're gonna be on the show Bobby. Oh, sorry.

I thought you were gonna be on the show. I might. No, you have no fans now. Maybe. I'll tweet it out of Bobby's gonna be on the show. It's free, there's no cover, there's no direct minimum. That was a great show, a free show.

Yeah, charge. No, I'm not gonna charge people, why? I'm not trying to make money off the show. Because people who go, that means they wanna be there. No, you're gonna be a part of it experiment. We don't know if it's gonna be good. I did an experiment. It's called 20 years in the business, all right?

24. That hasn't been 24. Has it? Feels that wrong. I got it. And also guys, come check me out July 2nd. I'm headlining comics at Fox Woods in Connecticut. Me and Chris Scopo and Dave Smith will be on that show and

Also follow me on Twitter at Louis J Gomez go to my website go mess comedy dot com or Kelly for suksux dot com and Thanks for being fans guys go mates you guys rule. I Want all the go mites to leave my show. I hate you go mites fuck you Scopo what do you got besides lies? Sure. Besides a tendency to be late, a fed-ass and lies. And one gig in July. Five minutes of okay material.

Go ahead, what do you got? All right, it's five and a half years ago. Besides a, sorry, and lesbian hair. Go ahead. And the ability to lose control of a crowd. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What do you get? Everything's scope. Oh loses it. Yeah, you really you're an alternative comic Future Todd Barry. I dig I dig good last night in the perfect situation

Go ahead the scopo family reunion come on spit. I just add Chris gopo on Twitter. There you go follow Chris gopo reunion. Come on. Spidage at Chris Copo on Twitter. There you go. Follow Chris Copo. All right, check it out. You know me, Robert Kettle Live.com. You guys want to mail anything to the studio for anybody and any of these guys. 117 McDougal Street, New York, New York, 1.012. You can mail it there and in care of YKWD Studios or Robert Kelly and it will be dropped off at the studio. You guys are fantastic. I love you guys. Thanks for supporting the show.

Thanks for listening and spread the word and that's it. You know what? con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, que no se puede ver en la región de Murcia, pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia, pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia, pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia, pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia, pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia,

pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia, pero no se puede ver en la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. 19 euros.

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