Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Kerryn Feehan, Ian Lara | Crescendo

Starting point is 00:00:00 Activa es único porque a diferencia de otros, activa ha demostrado que sus millones de probióticos naturales llegan vivos a la microviota. Y además ayuda a tu salud digestiva. Activa. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte el 3 por uno en mediana a San homicidios solo pidiendo al line. ¿Saparao?

Starting point is 00:00:29 tres por uno, tres por uno, oh no no no. ¡Dominos! Pizza. ¿Suéñas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de post-grazo en el extranjero, de la Fundación La Caixa. Puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitate veca en Fundación la Caixa.org. We've had a long time. First you got sexy Bob coming back. You get Karen Fihant and you got in Lara. I mean, two of the sexiest guests I've ever had on and they get a crush on each other. So tune in. See what happens when we do Y KW. You know what, this week, yeah,

Starting point is 00:01:16 baby, we're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude, live. Welcome, everybody to the show Started the social media podcast Why can't we do podcast why can't we do these back again? Old school back in the day. We're it all started before them all Podcast is so fun and crazy The rules. Shut up, you're ruining this. Work the ball, man, I'm sorry. It's comedy podcasts.

Starting point is 00:01:46 This is an NPR. That's the part that's done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Right. Yeah. Yo, what's happening everybody?

Starting point is 00:02:00 Robert Kelly here back with another YKWD. Live from the Comedy Seller StudiosWD live from the comedy seller studios above the world famous comedy seller. Laugh button soos I got to add that to. F*** my network anyways. Great show. A lot of shit to talk about this week. Comics come home.

Starting point is 00:02:17 Dave Chappelle in SNL. We got Chris Rock. We got a great show with two of my favorite people. I mean sexy people. This show is hot and it's fucking, it's, cuz sexy bobby's almost back. So I have to start booking sexy shows. I can't have Ian finance with his bald head, I can have Joldaroza with his shitty fucking jackets and his dumb shoulders.

Starting point is 00:02:43 I can't have the fucking ugly people rich boss that'll I need hot fucking sexy young people and I got it right now Nicole introduced this hot show this hot show starts with Ian Lara Let me taste something about this little fucking biscuit right now. I mean, I don't even know what he is Dominican Puerto Rican. I don't know if he's got half white half black parents. He's got so much fucking sweetness in him Oh my god, are you fucking tasty? God look at you. Are you male female? What are you French fucking Caribbean? What the fuck is he and who else do we got? We have Karen fian

Starting point is 00:03:27 I will fucking dump my wife Right now give me the go-head K girl give me the go-head look at her. We will talk put her mic her mic's not on Put her mic on Mike on. What the fuck? Um, your wife has two straws of a present. This is good. I'm on. Nobody else is on.

Starting point is 00:03:49 Am I on? Is it my fault? It might be my fault. Why is it your fault? That was Debbie's fault. It's take the blame. No, it's nobody's fault. It's nobody's fault.

Starting point is 00:03:57 They didn't test the microphones. Nope, it's not on. It might be when she gets to the... It's not on. Stop sticking up over her because she has a vagina. Would you stop? Uh, if that was mush, she'd be yelling at him right now. Poor mush would be being yelled at right now.

Starting point is 00:04:10 Mm-hmm. So anyways, we got a great show for you tonight. Fuck it. Unballoon. No, we're gonna get you a microphone. What about this plug right here? Can we try that one? Anyways, this fucking studio rocks. I thought I love that she's fucking won't turn up the microphone on the board. It's not working. It's not working.

Starting point is 00:04:29 It's not working. Testing. It's not working. Nothing's working. Plug it over there. She really is. Look at it. Look at her go.

Starting point is 00:04:37 Look at those little hands go. Nope. Nope. Get. Hey. Get it whole now. The cord. Anyways. How you doing? Is your mic working? Yeah, you always working good. This is the comedy gods

Starting point is 00:04:49 Yeah, share mics. Oh wait. Hey, come on now look at that you guys we make such good kids I mean you wouldn't be able to have them. They dies like three months in because you're womb is dead You you her eggs would fucking just spit those jizz right out. Yeah So fucked up Now you mad good there you go attack her dumb woman say it would take it from the top Yeah, call us some names. She's fucking you right now Call us some names. She's fucking you right now. I wish you would say, oh,

Starting point is 00:05:26 Sizzling is so gross. No, it's not working. It's that plug. Change the plug. There you go. Wow, this is nuts. Look at moshes under the table doing something. We don't even know what moshes doing. He's probably eating.

Starting point is 00:05:40 He's probably a stash of twinkies under there. There you go, something happened. Oh, don't spill the coffee under. Don't panic, we'll get it. Anyways, panicked as you're yelling. Yeah, that's what you got to do. I got to yell at him. There you go.

Starting point is 00:05:53 You're on. Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the podcast, Aaron Elizabeth Fihin. Ooh, let me tell you something about you. Yeah. When do you is better than summer you? Why? Because you're covering up.

Starting point is 00:06:04 You got the little hoodies on. I'm gonna like when I get my pencil eraser nipples out. I look at we all love when you come in with your little skimpy shit on in the summer showing mainly everything. Yeah. When you come in with that little those sweatpants that barely fit your tukish that little hoodie you got off some some young kid you fuck somewhere. He left it at your house. Hey listen, his mom found out. Yeah, and then that little fucking weird jacket you got down at East Village.

Starting point is 00:06:30 Cool, I love it. Oh, this is coach. Oh is it? This is two seasons ago. It was originally priced at $1,900, but I liked it. I kept my eye on it. I tracked it down to a coach outlet. It was like 70% off.

Starting point is 00:06:42 I got over like 600 bucks. Wow, good for you. I don't know if that's the best math. What's that fucking, was that one fucking, one asshole wink on, how am I supposed to? That's the one I keep up charging you, Bobby. You keep falling for it. You hear an asshole, by the way,

Starting point is 00:06:56 I should get free, only fans. It's so funny, because I belong to the cigar bar. And it's all guys, it's all fucking men, like, yeah. Like, just, I go there, I think I'm a man, and then I go's all fucking men, like, yeah, like, just, I go there, I think I'm a man and then I go there and I'm like, I'm really not a man. And they all, they see the podcast and they all, as soon as she was on the first time,

Starting point is 00:07:13 they're like, who the fuck is that? They look good. But they all follow her now. Yeah, it's creepy, it's like, listen, hey, dude, did you say, I'm like, don't, don't. Not creepy, you guys, you keep, you never on sub. Stay in, stay loyal, you're not weird you guys you keep you never on sub Stay it stay loyal. You're not weird. Yeah, you're just a sub your hands. You really are a sub anyways

Starting point is 00:07:33 I love all of you Doing the lords work to be honest. They some of them need to hear this My guys, you love them. Don't you? Yeah, it's like I love my fat fans. Of course They still show up even though I lost the weight. They're all sad now. Yeah. They're hoping. You're not one of them anymore. Yeah, they just hoping. One day I'll do a bang bang with them. So they still make the noises, the hoping you'll come back to the pod.

Starting point is 00:07:52 That's just them breathing. Oh. He's coming back. I remember the first time, the first time we met and hung out was in a rumba. And like you just came up to me and you was like out of nowhere. Unprompted. You was like, can I get a pin your colada? You exactly I feel like you wrote that one that doesn't seem like it was all for come No, I've seen your act. That wasn't off the cuff. You got free. You got fucking a ruby in skin. Yeah, pretty. You're written. You came up to me.

Starting point is 00:08:25 I don't know what you were like. What do you think you're attractive? I was way more attractive than you. I'm like, I'm like, I'm obvious. I used to meet you. Good to be working with you. Can I tell you? Look, I've always liked you.

Starting point is 00:08:35 You're a fucking killer. You killed it out there when I first saw you. And you got an HBO special. Let's just plug that right now. HBO special right now. Yeah, romantic comedy. Romantic comedy. It looks amazing. Thank you, Bob. It's HBO plug that right now. HBO is special right now. Yeah, romantic comedy romantic comedy. It looks amazing.

Starting point is 00:08:45 Thank you. It's HBO, which is awesome. I got to go check it out. It's HBO Max HBO. It was HBO and now it's on HBO Max. Go check it out right now. He's a fucking young buck killer out there. I was there for the taping.

Starting point is 00:08:59 Oh, you were. Well, you give them fucking. We are relaxing in between sets. He got a standing ovation and I had a sitting one. He got a standing o and I had a sitting o. Like a sitting orgasm. We got it. You fumbled it.

Starting point is 00:09:13 I really fumbled it and I sat it like 10 times. I know and the first time I really enjoyed it. He liked it, he like reshared it. I'm just like, he makes me nervous. He does? Yeah. Why make you nervous? He's so cute.

Starting point is 00:09:24 He's like so cute. Don't you think Why I make you know you. He's so cute. He's like so cute. Don't you think? I think he's adorable. I know. And the fact that he's wearing baby blue, and he's pulling it off. He's gonna put it in your pocket, like a figure-y.

Starting point is 00:09:34 God, he's just like, he's like a black Ryan Reynolds. Gee, I'm gonna lose all your fat fans. This is why I came on to get the fat fans and you're cool with me. Don't hit. You'll get the fat women. Hey, you'll get them. You'll get most mostly them.

Starting point is 00:09:46 Okay. Let me tell you what bugged me about you. Can I be honest with you? This is what bugged me. I'm sorry you're gonna be. This is my problem in the business. I tell people how I really feel. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:56 And I tell and I shouldn't. I should be like, hey HBO, great. Hey, you look beautiful. Love it. I mean, her eggs are dead. For sure. Not happening. You bugged me in Aruba.

Starting point is 00:10:04 Yeah. Yeah, yeah He was he had the smoking hot girl comes with him always has girls who's not who's I know it's not working out like this is not last all Temporary girl it is she has temporary written on a forehead. I think it was tattooed on the back of a net That's what he came on her forehead. It was fucking get out. I mean she was so she was nice But nice the way you would be nice to help. Like, hi, oh great, that's nice, anyways. That bugged you about me? No, I'm getting to you. All right, the fact that she bugged me too.

Starting point is 00:10:35 I'm painting the picture. I look, we're in a rubah. Yeah, we're fucking hanging out. When you go away, it's when you get to, you know, we're the stupid shirt, have the flip flops. Be jovacation. Be hang out. This is not fucking New York.

Starting point is 00:10:49 This isn't LA. This, nobody gives a fuck here. No, you're not, nobody's gonna see you. You're not getting a pilot deal off this. I look over, this clock suckers doing Instagram photos. Oh my God. What? Hang on.

Starting point is 00:11:03 You before you defend yourself, you gorgeous little girl. You put a little bitch. Oh my god, they're doing Instagram. The two of them? Yeah, the two of them. No, I'm just got it. I'm just got it. She was.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Not me. You were taking the photo. I was taking the photo. I was taking the photo. Yeah, little cock. You're the star of the show. You're the young buck. You murder it. He's an Instagram boyfriend, I got yeah, I have to take a photo

Starting point is 00:11:27 I'm gonna say no no, not those but not you take her phone and you throw it in the sand Oh real man, and he had to do it with the sun coming this way in the park and she's doing this she's turning Yeah, and he's I almost I almost fucking lost your reaction in my in my in my defense. I didn't know I didn't have one It's fucking 350 at the end. What didn't you pass my tits? In my defense, I didn't know you were watching. Oh, I was watching you. Yeah, I'm sitting there smoking a cigar Disguise This fucking loser on vacation taking Instagram photos and then they, I didn't see you in the water one time. Right, what's, you didn't go in the pool?

Starting point is 00:12:11 You and her sat under a fucking palapa. Pallacan hour and a half, and then you took photos of each other. It made me sick to my stomach. You didn't go swimming? You still can't swim? No, they didn't go swimming. You didn't go swimming.

Starting point is 00:12:24 I did, I did, I didn't go swimming. I did, I did. You two sat under a fucking palapa like assholes. We went swimming. You did not go swimming. And you're very antisocial with her. Yeah, that's what he does. He brings girls, he brings them to the comedy clubs, and he has dates with them in front of me.

Starting point is 00:12:41 Yeah. What is that? Well, listen to me, your aunt, your aunt wants you, gets your head shut in there. You're fucking on. I get some time, I tell him you have to spend some time with me. He does it. He brings a different girl every week.

Starting point is 00:12:55 That's annoying, I mean, it's disrespectful. I actually, I was actually, I was actually so, I was, I think I told you this, that I was having dinner with a girl downstairs and she saw your headshot. Yeah. And she was like, who's that? Yeah. And I was like, buddy, I was standing next think I told you this, that I was having dinner with a girl downstairs and she saw your headshot. And she was like, who's that? Yeah. And I was like, buddy, I was standing next to her one night and there was three hot chicks and they went, oh, is he here tonight?

Starting point is 00:13:11 And I was standing next to it. Your headshot went, he's not. It's like, it didn't even go. And they didn't even go. Like, you're the ghost of sexy Bobby. And he's not coming. So, that's what happened. So, she was like, who's that?

Starting point is 00:13:22 And I'm like, man, I wish I could show you. And then we walked around the block and you were standing in front of a corner. And I was like, there he that? And I'm like, man, I wish I could show you. And then we walked around the block and you were standing in front of a corner. And I was like, there he is. That's the guy in that front of the shot. And then she started believing in me. She thought, she's like, oh, a comedian. You guys do jokes.

Starting point is 00:13:33 I don't get it. Yeah. She doesn't get jokes. And then you were like, the girls you date don't get jokes. Yeah, because they're just white. They're just like, that's how we get some. Are you really, you have to swipe? No.

Starting point is 00:13:44 How do you meet girls? You just answering ZMs. Yeah, you usually now, I'll just have like a girl message me or like a girl. What is your criteria? Give me, you're going to your Instagram, your DMs, right? And what to get in your fucking sock? I wanna get in your sock. I wanna, what is this?

Starting point is 00:14:03 I'm not like, you act in like I'm some like. If E and C's meant to remember, he's like, no fucking way. It's gross. Honestly, it just be cool. You see a girl playing chess, dumb dumb girl. She's dumb to you, not my type. Are those books? Yeah, if you see a girl looking into the sun

Starting point is 00:14:18 with a dolphin being there. There she is, that's my girl. Half an area all hanging out, you're in. How did I get this label? I'm not the douchey comic with the dumb dates. That's not me. I'll tell you why, because we're comics and that's how we make it funny.

Starting point is 00:14:29 Yeah. I'm making something up about you. All right, yeah, all your fans are gonna be like, oh, this douchebag, I got no. Listen to me, I'm telling you right now, you're one of the new motherfuckers coming up. Oh, thank you. And I mean, so much.

Starting point is 00:14:40 And you're a sweet kid, you're always nice, you're always polite, you're always fucking friendly. You can take those dicks up by different girls every day. I mean, I know suck by different girl every day. I mean I still I was getting my fucking balls lit Some fucking supermodel on Instagram I'd be charming as fuck too. I don't wonder why I'm bitter Bitch spends all the money on rent niphones and lighting I have to buy a new ring light listen dude, but you do hang out with dumb dumbs. Bobby, you didn't even speak to her. I spoke to her.

Starting point is 00:15:10 You probably tried to. Is she still around? No. Exactly. Dumb dumb. Why'd you bring up? Are you having any of our hard shake? Yeah, you sit right here. Yeah, I'm trying to fucking shake this leaf off. I actually not some boy. I'm not doing it.

Starting point is 00:15:23 No, I'm both not. Did you know he was on today? No. Of course, yes you did. No, I did. I actually knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years.

Starting point is 00:15:31 I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years.

Starting point is 00:15:39 I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years. I knocked him two years I would have been way naked or I would have wore like a, like a, but I like this. This is what I like. I told you, I like this.

Starting point is 00:15:47 This is what I like. This is way better. Let me tell you something, you're gonna switch up your thing. You're gonna stop showing your side thigh and your fucking ass back and your half a nipple. Okay. You're gonna stop dressing like this. Okay.

Starting point is 00:15:58 You're gonna stop dressing like you fucking help kids. Yeah. Wait, what? Exactly. You guys know what I'm saying? This outfit is smoking. It's more wholesome. Are those sweat pants? Yeah. Do you guys know what's hanging? This outfit is smoking. It's more wholesome. Are those sweatpants?

Starting point is 00:16:08 Yeah. Let me see them. Can I see them? I don't want you. I don't want to make you stand up. You don't have to turn around. Yeah. Listen to me.

Starting point is 00:16:16 Listen to me. I'm going to throw up right now. My, my, my pictures came alive. It hasn't been alive in a long time. And I think. I worked out this morning. It's like a, it's like an engine on a muffler. When it hasn't been stopped.

Starting point is 00:16:24 Poo, it's shit's out smoke. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. My God. That's like an engine on a muffler. When it hasn't been stopped, puss, shits out smoke, I'm gonna throw up. Hang, I'm gonna throw up. My God. That's so horny you threw up, that's insane. My Lord. It's insane. Yeah, she is.

Starting point is 00:16:33 I mean, dude, why wouldn't you ever hook up with her? Karen, because I love Karen. Karen is like my friend. Yeah. Dude, you have to be friends. I know. It's so disappointing.

Starting point is 00:16:42 I'm gonna suck Norton's dick one night and have a long ride home. Yeah, he's my friend. Same. Besties. But I like Karen. I like to suck Norton's dick one night in a long, right home. He's my friend. Same. Besties. But I like her and I like to be, I don't want things to be weird. I like being around her. You don't like her.

Starting point is 00:16:51 He doesn't like me. You don't like white chicks. I do like her. You like white girls? He does like white girls. You like all the girls. You like, what's your type? It's not just not me.

Starting point is 00:16:59 I don't have a type, honestly. When I'm on Instagram and I DM you, what is the criteria that's gonna get me into your world? To be honest, if you say something clever, like that's like, I'm on Instagram and I DM you what is my what is the criteria that's gonna get me into your world? To be honest if you say something clever like that's like I'm like all right. This is this is funny Sometimes I'll try to neg me. I don't like that like what if I set what if I typed in hey Why do women? Why do women itch their eyes in the morning when they wake up? I'd be into that and you were like why and I was like because they don't have balls. Yeah, would that be cool?

Starting point is 00:17:24 Yeah, yeah, I feel like, cause they don't have balls. Yeah. Would that be cool? Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, who's this bulldyke? What are you asking? You'd get me with that. I get you with that. Yeah, you'd get me. So do I have, what, what, what, like on a scale from pretty,

Starting point is 00:17:33 one to 10, where do you range? Where do I have to range? I'm not that superficial. Listen to me. Where do I have to range? It's very superficial. He falls for like filters, because a lot of the girls are hot, but sometimes they show up and up close, we get a lot of moneys. We had a big forehead at the premiere.

Starting point is 00:17:48 I just like, what's a big for him? I'm not gonna repeat it. Forget I said anything. I just, I just, but he's just like, you know what he falls for filters sometimes I think. Oh, I don't, can I speak? I guess I mean, his manager. Is this an intervention? What manager slash on to slash you fucking stop we were plugging a special I get here and they're like No, we're plugging you for for filter like your dog What the girl are you still with the girl that was at the special pushy where she listen Bobby? I'm listening. I'm a property employer. Wow. I I just want you to be cool if you're cool

Starting point is 00:18:23 We'll hang out and if not we won't and all these girls became uncool. No, they're all cool. They're all glad you why they gone. It's a lot. I just get busy and stuff. Oh, so you get busy. He is not ready to settle down either. I don't think he is really ready for a girlfriend. What do you, I don't know. How do you know you were ready? You were hot and young and when I saw her dreams die in her eyes. I was like, I guess she's ready. Ready? Yeah, I don't know. I just when I saw her dreams die in her eyes, I was like, yeah, she's ready. Ready? Yeah, I don't know. I just when I became 300 and I understood of a hot chick wanting me, she was a fucking weirdo.

Starting point is 00:18:51 She was into dead toenails and belly buttoned her ears and there's something mentally wrong with her. That's why, look at that. I wanna smoke you, E. That was you? That was my body, yeah. Nah, that's the hot guy. Yeah, and I wanna throw, how do you, how do you, here?

Starting point is 00:19:04 23? Yeah. I wanna smoke you. He would have smoked you. No, that's a hot guy. Yeah, and I would have, how do you, how do you, 23? Yeah. I would have smoked you. He would have broken my heart. Yeah. I would have took her, I would have made her fall in love with me. I kiss her, like Prince, just Apollonia. Yeah, I mean, you look like non-binary here.

Starting point is 00:19:17 I would have made Karen say she loves me while we fucked. Yeah, I'd be like, say it, she'd make me love me. I don't want to, I was just saying she would I'd love you so much. Like yeah, I've done that. Oh's like I don't want to I was a station That's pretty hard making a girl say dude. I you ever do it with a girl you met that night You're sick. Oh My god, yeah, no that was hot. That's love. Oh, wait. You did that to a girl you met that night dude that let me taste Jesus You get canceled for that now

Starting point is 00:19:51 First of all, I love you. You can't get cancer. I love you that that night though We had we had such a it was a weird thing. We both felt it and it was love It wasn't love it, but it was something it was something it was something crazy and wait no sober But yeah, I was like And we know it's over. But yeah, I was like, I was like, say, say you love me. She goes, what? And I go, say you love me. She goes, I love you.

Starting point is 00:20:10 Yeah, that's pretty hard. I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah, yeah, that's hot. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah. Because you know your role playing a little bit, but still that might be something. But can you, too?

Starting point is 00:20:19 Part of you feels like, yeah, I'd be a little bit. I would have made her say it. I would be like, say it. Grab, play with my curls and say, I love you. I've been like, let's get married, let's put it in Vegas. Yeah, I would have dumped you too. I have my friends taken out of you. That's how the penis is built.

Starting point is 00:20:31 It's very loud the olds. All my boys from Boston kick it out of flight of stairs. That's crazy. Where are you from? It's old school, man, these guys old school. My dad's from Dorchester, so. Oh boy, that would have been a problem. Somebody might have looked out for me.

Starting point is 00:20:44 Yeah, that might have been a problem. What's not Dor out for me. Yeah, that might have been a problem. What's not Dorchester? Dorchester is a white trash. It's a little harder than Quinn's. It's, yeah, that's where the wall burks came from. Okay. It's like real, like. It's slumps.

Starting point is 00:20:55 People don't know that Boston has white slumps. Yeah. My dad grew up in a triple-decker with like two other families living below. Yeah, that's why people from Boston, you know, Boston's racist, but we were, everybody was racist. Even the black people, everybody hated below. Yeah, that's why people from Boston, you know, Boston's racist, but we were, everybody's racist, even the black people,

Starting point is 00:21:06 everybody hate everybody. Yeah, we go up. My dad would kick that like three schools, and his move was that every new school he would find the biggest black kid and befriend him. He was like, I'm just gonna say it.

Starting point is 00:21:15 A bunch of men to fake. No, he was like, that's how I was. He was like, he would be like security. Yeah. Oh no. There you go. It's a good move.

Starting point is 00:21:23 It's a great, it's not a bad move. I thought it was going the other way. Yeah, me too. I was like, Jesus, Karen. No, my dad loves when I date black guys too. She loves when you date black guys. Yeah, they talk basketball. I don't love basketball. Oh, you dad's racist.

Starting point is 00:21:34 That's racist. I mean, that's a little. It's a little hacky. I'll talk basketball with you dad. I'll definitely talk basketball. See, there's a number. I'll text them. What do you mean you're gonna talk? You gonna text your dad? Are you gonna hook up?

Starting point is 00:21:44 We're Karen? No, I love Karen. That's it. You're done. All right. Karen, so your dad likes it when you date black guys? Yes. What about your mom?

Starting point is 00:21:54 Love it too. You told her. I introduced Ian to my mother as my boyfriend. Yeah. Still believes it. They love it. Yeah. They love it.

Starting point is 00:22:03 Yeah, I love it. Black people don't love it. When they're little. White guy from Boston's not gonna love it. Yeah. They love it. Love it. Yeah. I don't love it. Listen, black people don't love it. White guy from Boston is not going to love it. I did it a guy with a no-affect tattoo. So the bar was low. Yeah, all right.

Starting point is 00:22:16 You know what I mean? Yeah, you bring this fucking little culprit home. Yeah. You bring this guy from Wakanda home. That was the end. That was the end. That was the end. That was a alley. Hi, God. Yeah. That was good. My mom's like, does Ian like fried chicken honey?

Starting point is 00:22:30 Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He has a handsome. Did you season it? He does. No, he likes cooks.

Starting point is 00:22:38 No, he likes dinty more beef stew. No, that's really. Corn beef and cabbage. No. Yeah, you have a shepherd's pie you can make for Ian. I'm all like a stick. Wait, Bobby, so when did you stop looking like that? I've stopped looking like that a bunch of times.

Starting point is 00:22:53 And getting go back? I've come back five times. I probably had five, four sexy sexes in my life. Yeah? Yeah, there's another one. Yeah. That's what I was shaved my hand, but look at that. Look at that, Bobby. That's like, I don't even know what gender that is. I I was shaved my hand, but look at that Look at that

Starting point is 00:23:05 I would have like not far from that now like all I'm far from Oh, I'm still far like Michael Chase said I was like I lost all the way. He goes not the wait I still have something to go dude. I was at the gym last night, baby I did the last night I got fucking angry too. I too. I have a 24 hour gym called Anytime Fitness. Sure, I know I need to. Little tiny gym, not big. And I love it, because I go at night, middle of the night, nobody's there.

Starting point is 00:23:33 Except for one fucking dude. Oh, that's the worst. And you have the same schedule. I go there last night, I'm there before him. There's one stair machine. You know the stair machine, you climb up. You climb them, right? We don't like to say master.

Starting point is 00:23:45 Yeah, we're not in front of you. Jesus Christ. So, we just come from Kumi's network. I know. You guys put this racist thing in my head and now it's here. I, I, I, I want, I had, I'm going to the phase now where I'm like, I want to get on that machine and get in those steps. And I'm sitting on the front and I'm talking phase now where I'm like, I wanna get on that machine and get in those steps.

Starting point is 00:24:05 And I'm sitting on the front, I'm talking a boss. Oh boy. He's going on about a car or some stupid thing. Yeah. You know, tell me, everything's going good. I just bought a new Lexus. Yeah, all right. Stuff feelings again with another car.

Starting point is 00:24:16 Oh, oh, oh, oh. You have a ranch house. Stop getting cars that belong in mansions. Get a Toyota you cock-sucker. You have 18 bird houses. You have that. People with a Lexus don't have bird houses. as the belonging mansions. Get a Toyota you cocks out. You have 18 bird houses. People with Alexis don't have bird houses. Top tier mulch. The best. But all of a sudden that he came in and went right on the stairmaster.

Starting point is 00:24:35 I was like, one, one small gym. Yeah. That is terrible. You got to be able to pivot though. You go every day to do a different cardio. Huh? Every day? No, You go to do a different cardio. Huh? Every day? No, I go four, four times a week,

Starting point is 00:24:48 I go to the gym and lift weights. Solid. And then I walk, every, six days a week, I walk. Keys. Yeah, I take one day off, and then I do the sauna. I bought a personal sauna. Infrared or dry? Infrared.

Starting point is 00:25:02 Let's go, bubba. I bought it from my house. That better? Infrared is excellent for you. Bob. I bought it from my house. That better. Infrared is excellent for you. It's a three foot by four foot. I think I have something to add. I'll come in over. It's a one person. You're sitting it. It has Bluetooth. I put my meditation in it. You just what? And I do it my place where I go. I put my calm app on and you just sweat it out. I do a wake up. I mean, I make a little porn moment there. Yeah, you're so good to say. It's like, you've heard one stone. I mean, I make a little porn all of them in there too. Come on, you gotta do it. You're supposed to say it. You're supposed to say it. I love to crack one out in here.

Starting point is 00:25:26 I would, but it has windows. My luck max would come home from sick from school. Just daddy crack one out in the sauna. Daddy, why are you so sweaty? So you sweat like you're like drenched in it? Buddy, I do a half hour at 140. And by the end of it, I'm wiped. Yeah, I wonder like half hour.

Starting point is 00:25:46 So how much you think you lose in that half hour? Like it's like a lot. It's not about losing weight. It's about what it does to you. It's one of the one of the things that they. It's like anti inflammatory first of all. So it's so good for recovery. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:57 It gets you back in the gym faster. You're sweating out. Talks in. You're hydrating. You're getting. It's a minor aerobic workout. Got it. It gets your heart rate enough. And then once you start sweating, and if you're wiping yourself, more you wipe the more

Starting point is 00:26:08 you sweat, because your body wants to sweat, so your body's doing it, schooling mechanism. But if you wipe it off, it's like, oh, we got to do more, more, more, more. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. They're called, what the fuck? What are they called? Look it up. What are they called?

Starting point is 00:26:21 If you get you a discount of your plong and um, what? Nah, I bought it. It's already done. All right. Anyway, um, I'm in. It's already done. All right, whatever. Anyways, in the large people to use it. Listen, so you've gained weight? I love that she's always in show my pussy and get free shit, oh, dude.

Starting point is 00:26:31 You know, you get discounted to show your asshole. I can't do that, I have a son. Oh yeah, yeah, sorry. You always have advice for young girls, not old 52 year old men. All right. You've gained it and lost it five times. I've gained, yeah man, wait is my, I know

Starting point is 00:26:46 I always thought I quit drugs in alcohol for seven years. Yeah, we talked. And I know I always thought that was the thing. You know, I had a sex addiction, but I always thought that would, you know, how do you know you have a sex addiction? Dude, when you ask questions like that, I'll forget. Hey, how do you know? Like when you come home, man, I'm having too much of this. Well, the reason why drugs in alcohol are easy to know is because you're fucking wasting you do. Sure, that's what I'm saying. When you bang it, you're just like relaxed and cool all the time.

Starting point is 00:27:17 When you bang, yeah, as when you know you have a second, you're smiling and your life is perfect. You're just cool all the time and happy. No bother anybody. Don't start the rumors. It's like work hard. You're not even negative comments. perfect. You're just cool and I'm talking happy. No bother anybody, don't start in the room. You're just like work hard. You're not even negative, comment. You're just like,

Starting point is 00:27:29 You smile more than 20 hours a day, you have a sex addiction. So what's the real thing? Well, because I was getting hookers and shit, I was dating, I had like five girlfriends, hot chicks and I was getting hookers when I went to like towns. I'd go to massage parties, like what are you doing?

Starting point is 00:27:48 It's like dude, you, you, I took my, I took, I do, I didn't need to massage baby, yeah. I mean dude, I just did so much, I just took my addiction, which first was food back when I was a kid, and then went to alcohol, then went to drugs, then went to sex when I got sober because I was like, oh my god, this is awesome.

Starting point is 00:28:09 And nobody cares about that until you almost lose everybody in your life. About the sex one? Sex, yeah, I'm gonna sloss my- No one cares about that. You girlfriend does. The woman you love does when you're a piece of shit. But your boys are like this,

Starting point is 00:28:22 can't kill in it, he's- Well, dude, when I almost lost years ago, I almost lost my wife Dawn, because that was a piece of shit when we were dating. And all of my friends were like, dude, fuck it, let her go. She's too good for you. Go find a,

Starting point is 00:28:37 let her find a plumber, let her go back to Boston and live a good life. You are a piece of shit. Yeah. How'd you turn that around? Colin Quinn was the only person that said try to change. Give it eight months. If it eight months, if it eight months,

Starting point is 00:28:49 you can't do it, then you know you're a piece of shit, but if you can just try really, if you wanna, try, because if you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Doesn't it feel so good? Not you just feel like such a person of value when you're being like loyal. Um, yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:07 I mean, you feel like a rock star when you're getting blown by your fucking strange plus, but yeah. In that one moment. But being a person of value is cool too. Yeah, yeah. You're not smiling as much as Ian, but yeah. No, yeah, but dude, it's as good as age too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:24 You know what I mean? That's the main one. Well, no, it's not the main one I mean if you were it is part of it if you were 25 and oh I don't beat it I dumped my girl. I mean we first met my wife now what love when I first met we were dating and then I met some a hot 18 year old Italian girl. Yeah, I mean on 11'm 11. You know those Italian girls who are just god made. Yeah, like their breasts are look fake, but they're real. Yeah, there's no hair on their body. None. Their lips are perfect. Their teeth. Everything about them is perfect. And this is before all the fake stuff. This was like into 70s. No, I was five. I

Starting point is 00:30:01 was happy. I'm not like Ian got a dig in. He did. He got nice digging. I was fine. I was I thought I'm not like Ian got a dig in he did I was too I had to be molested in the 70s had that written Comedias do that too like they'll like you'll make a joke. They'll say something that's oddly like deep like serious Like I was molested in the 70s and you're like all right man. I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I didn't know No, I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I didn't know You're my lesson. No, I wish you wish. No, I was you have aunt fucking Karen Reliced you tonight if you want like I'm sure she's got a flower dress you could throw on Fucking make you soup. You definitely have a flower dress. You could throw on. I do have an apron too. I could put on Yeah, yeah, but food is the worst food is the worst. No, food is the worst. It is the worst? No, food is the worst because nobody cares. Food is the worst, it's the hardest. No, people care about food because they see you,

Starting point is 00:30:47 like, nobody cares. Yeah, but, no, well, you can see that on some. Yeah, but everybody cares to me after. Somebody people, dude, we were taught, dude, I'm so glad you did this. We were talking about you. Well, it's such a sensitive issue. I think more so for women than men,

Starting point is 00:31:01 like I feel like you guys can like, shit on each other, do each other's faces. Like we should on our friend Fat Lab to his face. Why do women always have to claim? Y si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si no, si es el servicio de streaming gratuito con más de 120 canales, dedicados a películas, series, grimene, realities y contenido infantil. Fluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. Fliparás!

Starting point is 00:31:43 Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. If you like the YKWD podcast, if you like culture and Kelly and all the other stuff I do, it goes there first. Plus you get extra episodes, you get to be live in the chat, you get to watch the show before anybody else. So if you're a fan here, go there patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and join up today. Joe DeRosa, you live on the YKWD. We're Karen Feehan and me and Lara What do you have your day job? your day job Fuck you Joe what a he needed money. I like that money

Starting point is 00:32:49 Joe's such a climber. He wouldn't say you're busy. No, he called me because I called him a swan I go you bug me more than anybody I just I just started him on stage with an orange jacket. Yeah, like road a war. Yeah, it's terrible You guys built this like you guys like you the boss nor you guys Both you know the bosses of the world. Yeah, you guys built this persona where it's like an honor to be hated by you Like I don't know how you got to this point But it's like if you're shitting on them. It's like oh my god. This is so no, that's not true We built the thing of honesty So if you walk in with an orange jacket that stinks we're gonna go you fucking suck in your jacket should be burned All right, that's what we did

Starting point is 00:33:25 Your generation walked in and said hey, how you doing man nice jacket as soon as I walk away you go No fucking hooker shit. Well, I know I see you're expressing yourself with color Yeah, I'm not Gen Z. What are you I'm millennial? Oh? Millennial there was a point where we was like hey, but like Gen Z came along and we like Gen Z adults Yeah, Gen Z trumped you guys. Yeah, for sure. At least you guys, if Jenzy's fucking sex addicts, bunch of pussy hounds.

Starting point is 00:33:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys still disrespect women. Millennials? Yeah, no, you, yes. Oh, no, I don't. I got a special to promote. Oh, sorry, yes, you don't. You're a good guy.

Starting point is 00:34:00 Yeah, no, many girls you've been run through since that day. You get this fucking old haggle here, fucking dying for you right now. I'll do anything. You can have all the girlfriends. I just want to be one of them. I'd be happy with like a top five spot. I look okay. She's joking.

Starting point is 00:34:18 Will you wear gloves? Wait, I have to wear gloves? Yes. Why? Because he doesn't want you to touch his penis or with those old hands. So the person. Yeah, he doesn't want to look down. See you're fucking.

Starting point is 00:34:30 The cloth. Yeah. You're arthritis. What were you saying that second ago? God damn it. You were saying something that I was interested in. Oh, I doubt it. Oh, women's bodies.

Starting point is 00:34:40 They're more emotional. I disagree with you. Can I say why? Can I plead my case to you? Absolutely. Because men have to stuff it. And when you stuff it, you can go cry. What do you mean stuff it?

Starting point is 00:34:52 Oh, like, pull it away. But people made fun of you as a fat guy. You have to take it and bury it. Do you feel bad? It doesn't go anywhere. It's there. And you have nowhere to go with it. So you just hold on to it.

Starting point is 00:35:03 At least a girl can go cry to her friend or her mom or somebody and they're like, it's okay, you're beautiful. We don't get to go to somebody and go, dad, am I beautiful? You know what I mean? We don't have that. I want you to know that if you ever need to cry,

Starting point is 00:35:17 please call me. Don't cry. So you put your one speaker. I completely respect for you. Yeah, I play with you pussy. I'll start on my family fans while I'm crying. I'm so ready to Bobby crying Bobby's tears wet with Bobby's tears So wait a minute when you got if you got cold, HBO right now go check out his new special

Starting point is 00:35:36 It's called rock n' plus What's it called? It's romantic comedy. Oh, they did. Romantic comedy. Oh, Romantic comedy. AKA slime through slits. It's a clan digging with it. First of all, this is a persona you guys have created. This is not what's called romantic comedy with rain boots sloshing through pussy in Lada. Yeah, that's in the description. Romantic comedy AKA lick and the wrinkle. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Romantic comedy AK suck on the stinker

Starting point is 00:36:29 Suck in the stinker. Yes, with pussy lips. Lada I have to see my Spanish accent does it sound good. Why why would we practice in that just for when I meet your family? Yeah, yeah Why did you bring your babysitter with you, Ian? Yeah. Yeah. My family loves caring. Wait, should I not be calling my fat friends fat? No, you should do whatever you wanted. You can call your fat,

Starting point is 00:36:56 female friends fat, more your male friends. I only love, really. You can't call, you can't call a girl. No, that's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. You should be using you stuff it down. Women, that's not your point. You're proving my point where it's like, you should use stuff it down. Like women, it's become such a sensitive issue.

Starting point is 00:37:09 And people like Lizzo and this other fat role model. My point, you can call, it'll come meet a fat comedian, fat. You've done a million fat jokes to me. I can't call whatever fat girl comic that comes on the show. If I call fat, you guys will fucking form a Facebook page. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:28 Take me out. SD will take me off the fucking list. But I think that bullying is good. And I think the fact that women or A.C. hands down plays. It's freaky me out. I think that the fact that men can bully each other. I think it's good. I think it helps men get not fat.

Starting point is 00:37:43 But men are the number one in suicide. Maybe it's not good. 100%. The fat ones, I think it's good. I think it helps men get not fat. But men are the number one in suicide. Maybe it's not good. 100%. The fat ones, I think it's not the fat. I don't think it's the fats. It's not the faties. But it's fat ones deserve it. The faties are living.

Starting point is 00:37:54 But we're all killing yourselves, but listen. It's not the faties. Women won't even, you can't even broach the conversation. So the sensitivity surrounding it, I think, really holds women back. They're not willing to fucking bully each other. Yeah, but when you bully, looking bullying doesn't work. I mean, are you? I disagree.

Starting point is 00:38:13 Two years ago, I was fat and I was talking about it, he was, hey, you want me to shame you out of it? You want me to go on a show and shame you? And I was like, no, I don't, are you? I'm not that guy. I don't like piss thrown at me. Yeah, I don't like being drugged. And I don't, Ari. I'm not that guy. I don't like piss thrown at me. I don't like being drugged, and I don't want to be shamed. Maybe not shamed, but like you do you wish people had been more forthcoming or more vocal?

Starting point is 00:38:32 What I'm saying, no, listen, you can't, it's like any other drug. You can't, no matter how many people say anything to you do, whatever they do, when you are ready to do it, you do it. Yeah. But it does, it's funny to me that people like do, we were really worried about you. And you were like, were you? I was like, you never mentioned it. You've never, you've talked behind my back about

Starting point is 00:38:55 how fat I was and how I was gonna die. Yeah. And if I was a drug addict, you would've got an intervention, you were a drug counselor, you were sent me to rehab. Yeah. But because it's food, you fuck you fatso, die. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:08 Well, it's the fear of that conversation. Because I have family members, I just like totally struggle with this with them. It's because the fear is, if I say anything, you're so sensitive. If you're in a place where you're not ready to change yet, you're so sensitive that you take it and you shut down and you don't want to even communicate with me anymore.

Starting point is 00:39:27 So I'd rather skip over it and still have you in my life. What'd you do that without heroin? No, I agree. I agree that it's just a bad sentence. You should start treating it like heroin. We should start treating people who are overweight. Like I know that what Lizo and all those dig out the fat girls on stage.

Starting point is 00:39:44 Wait, me, way, Thor. Who's that? Who's you? those dig out the fat girls on stage. Whitney way Thor. Who's that? Who's she? My big fat fabulous life. She's my archnomesis. Can we please bring her up? Who is that? Pull her up.

Starting point is 00:39:55 Whitney way Thor. She's my height. She weighs 400 pounds. She's the devil. Yeah, but you're one of your ass. She weighs 400 pounds. She's kind of hot. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:04 You're sick. She's cute. She has a cute face. it's like you when you were younger like I'd like to say younger Listen, I know listen, I understand you want this rules that you have to play by right now This is how you know you have a second. I understand listen corporate Fuckin in you know how many lawyers I had to speak to to come on this Listen to me check out his new podcast HBO right now. It's romantic Okay romantic comedy Hey, what? Hey, I love fat push Slip and slide into a fat labia for good time. It's lame. You a lot

Starting point is 00:40:40 No, it's romantic comedy. Okay. I love love a muscle build It's like a penis He's aren't even special names now you're going into full-on sentences. I know right Wait, why do you hate it? I was on an episode of this show you romantic comedy aka suck it fucking punch it Well like romantic comedy We're like romantic comedy. You call it. Now it died. We can move on. We can't.

Starting point is 00:41:07 You're right. You're good for you. You got it. There you go. No, seriously, check out this new, new special. Unbelievable. I saw it. It fucking pops.

Starting point is 00:41:15 I didn't, I didn't watch it yet. I'm going to watch it this weekend. Thank you. I am going to watch it. Um, because I know comics, we all say that, but I am going to watch it. I actually watch them. Yeah, I do too. Um, it looks, it looks amazing.

Starting point is 00:41:24 I love the look of it. Oh, thank you. I mean, as soon as I saw it, I was like, holy shit. It was directed by Ida Rodriguez. That's, you know, I love it. It's great. Yeah, her first time directing it, and I think you did a great job.

Starting point is 00:41:35 Oh, good, man. Fucking good for you. Yeah, I love that. So wait, what happened with this girl? What happened with this, uh, this, uh, She's evil. Why is she evil? Because, just like you were saying,

Starting point is 00:41:44 this in my opinion, this show... Bring her back up. Everybody involved in it. Send me that photo, Nicole. It's of the feck, it's glorifying. You look younger now. What the f- What is this? Why are we watching? Jesus, Karen, what's going on here?

Starting point is 00:41:56 What's wrong? What is this? It's pretty bad lighting, Ian. This is like 10 years in the future. This is not the future. I'd say this. I play this. I want to hear Whitney. Happiness or I don't either,

Starting point is 00:42:09 but I don't know a quite of obesity with healthiness either. I think that this is a healthiness, but I said happiness. Like that's not even the same thing. I realized that I had to uncouple happiness and thinness because I was wasting my life. I will not wait to live my life.

Starting point is 00:42:24 And I will assert that I am a worthy human being. And that I deserve basic respect. That is what fat people want. So many who say that they're happier than they're ever been, you sure cry a lot. Made you look pretty. It's priceless. Pause.

Starting point is 00:42:40 This bitch, what are you, a politician? What, you come up with that line? Was it edited to make that? No. This is it. Dude. Do you think that I look physically bad? No, no, to make you look mean.

Starting point is 00:42:53 Like, well, we just want to base our own rights and you're like, you're a fat whore. She's bad, Ian. That's a bad woman. Like, you have to understand that this person is evil. Because think of all the fans and all the fat women that she's quote unquote inspiring, but she's not. What are you quote unquote inspiring but she's not. She's a lazy fucking liar. She likes using her hands. She took a course at a college of queens. I don't like who she is. What she stands

Starting point is 00:43:16 for. Ian. Yes. Ian. Here's the deal. This is an evil fucking woman over here. Okay. Wait any way for it. No you. She's evil. Listen, I understand what you're doing now, but that long night is fucking outrageous. No it's not. For somebody who's happy. No, no. No, no.

Starting point is 00:43:33 She's a bullshit. She's bad. I think it's a great line. Wait, what was the show? What was your role in the show? Just bring a skinny girl to yell at them. Literally. That's why they hired me to challenge her philosophy.

Starting point is 00:43:42 Well, it's true though. Can I be, can I, as a professional fatty? Yes. Which I don't think you've ever been a fatty? I dated Lewis and I got overweight, like the first like three months. Yeah, that's a professional psychopath. Not fat.

Starting point is 00:43:57 What's on your weight though? I gained like 15, 20 pounds. Oh my God. That's nice. Well, you got tits. Anyways, you've never been fat. No, no, I've been, listen, I've been fat six. You've had like a pudgy stomach.

Starting point is 00:44:08 I've been fat six times, okay? Okay. So I can see both sides. You got three left, kitty cat. Mm-hmm. Romantic comedy, aka, swipe the clip and lick the butt. And that's why I call it a slide. Ian, Lala.

Starting point is 00:44:24 Lala. Lala. H-reel graphics. B-b-b-b-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Democrat because you have to accept at some point when you are that weight when I was 350 I had to accept myself look man I'm fat I'm a fat fuck right now I'm going to die this is the thing that fat people don't equate because they're young and fat when you're young and fat you don't't understand, as you get older, your bones, your heart, your liver, everything starts to break down just like an alcoholic. You have the same effects on your body, on the inside, and you don't feel that because you can still run around, you can still go to the beach. So yes, you have to accept yourself as who you are, but you also have to understand being healthy is

Starting point is 00:45:26 That's not healthy being heavy is not healthy. So if you're heavy. I understand you I get you I understand it's a you it's a room you can't get out of is no door Right, but and you should love yourself if you want to love yourself as fat fine Be fat, but you're gonna be sick someday. You're not gonna be able to maintain life like this. And someday when I was 52, my liver, my feet, my knees, everything, and I was gonna lose it all, and Maxwell's gonna have a dad,

Starting point is 00:45:59 cause dad like fucking noodles. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's serious. So these people don't understand that yet. She has no concept. And the fact that she's laying that onto you and crying, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:46:13 Which I hate when people say. It's manipulative. It's manipulative. It's 100% playing a victim. Your life is your fault. It's nobody else's. And I, listen, I think food addiction is- And that's coming from an internet horror.

Starting point is 00:46:26 I am an internet horror, but I'm also an alcoholic who like hasn't had a drink in like almost five years. Hey, baby, what's up? Hey, thank you so much. Hey, give it one for me. Thank you so much. Oh, thanks. Awesome, I'm so proud of you.

Starting point is 00:46:36 So, but my thing is like that she's a manipulative, charming fat person who has galvanized so many people and is so influential with an unhealthy message. Yeah. If it was a heroin addict who had a huge fan base and we're all like, raw, raw, raw, raw, let's do heroin. We would be like your gross. No, no, no, food.

Starting point is 00:46:57 No, because not what they did with food is they made it acceptable, especially for women to be fat and love yourself and it's okay to be this way. And it's really not. You shouldn't be eating the food you eat. You shouldn't be, you should be going to the gym and you should be going down to the person who you really are physically. Because the person inside doesn't match the person outside.

Starting point is 00:47:19 And if you're trying to, when I was 350, I was being that person that it fucked my life up. But the one thing that they don't understand is that you can't just tell somebody, you don't be fat anymore. Oh, I know. You have to go and get your head right. You have to do it yourself, I know.

Starting point is 00:47:37 You have to understand where it's coming from. You kind of have to understand that loving yourself and like saying that you accept yourself, of course, accept yourself. Like loving yourself means challenging yourself. Loving yourself means challenging yourself. Loving yourself means taking care of yourself. And if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're flapping down ramen, if you're eating chips,

Starting point is 00:47:54 and you're not walking, you're not moving, you're not trying to get your body in a healthy position, then you don't really love yourself. Fully, you may love yourself who you are, right? Sure, that's a person, of course. You're 100% right, you can't, I'm a heroin addict and I love myself. I'm a pedophile and I love myself.

Starting point is 00:48:13 It's like, what? Can't help. And it's your more service to others when you're at a better play. Like when you're... When I came out with my operation and I wasn't, I didn't know if I was gonna tell people I got it, but then I was like, I have to.

Starting point is 00:48:26 I got to script my past. Yeah, I was like, I have to. You got to sleep. I got to sleep, I got to bike. Not a cookie sleeve, different kind of sleeve. Yeah. And I still get a couple emails or DMs a day from dudes, men, fathers who are like, bro,

Starting point is 00:48:39 first of all, I'm gonna get the surgery. Thank you so much. I was so scared of it because I didn't think I was a man. Of course. And all guys who are like, dude, because it a man. And all guys who like, dude, because it's like being gay, it's like, dude, they're coming out of the closet because I came out of the closet.

Starting point is 00:48:50 It's not that. It's like being gay. It is for men. Getting asleep. It's worse, it's worse, huh? It's worse, gay. Sleep. Sleep?

Starting point is 00:48:57 Yeah, how's my sleeves? Sleeps are no sleep. So, man, that's on me. That's great though. But here, I was a fatty for a long time. And secretly inside I felt terrible all the time. Every time I woke up, went to sleep, I moved, anywhere I went, I was fucked.

Starting point is 00:49:15 And then on top of that being a comic, you're getting attacked by your friends all the time and being fat. Okay, take that. And then fans or people, trolls or whoever they are attacking you, whale photos, but so all day long you're being attacked. So I know how this girl feels. It's a terrible feeling. Luckily I had the the armor of a comedian. Yeah. To be able to compartmentalize it and understand it. And I had therapy to go to, but when I went back into program

Starting point is 00:49:47 and started doing my thing, you know, for alcoholism and drug addiction, I went back and that, all of a sudden things clicked. Yeah. And I was mentally ready to go, dude, okay, I feel good spiritually. I feel good mentally. I gotta go take care of this now.

Starting point is 00:50:01 Yeah. Because this is holding me back. That's good. Yeah. I'm not gonna call live fat no more. I'm not gonna call anybody. care of this now. Yeah. Because this is holding me back. That's good. I'm not going to call live fat no more. I'm not going to call anybody. Who? Love for. Hey guys, I want to thank everybody who got my special 100 million percent success.

Starting point is 00:50:14 I mean, it's unbelievable how many of you got the special. I appreciate all the support and I hope you enjoyed it. If you haven't got the special, go right now. Get it. It's directed by Louis CK. It's on his site Louis CK dot com at Robert Kelly Killbox dot com at Robert Kelly live dot com push the button get it. It's yours. And I just I'm overwhelmed with how many people have enjoyed it. Set me messages and you if you didn't get it be one of those people get it now, kill box. I think it's okay.

Starting point is 00:50:45 I think I do think bullying is good. So I think no, I don't want people feeling like that. I'm, you know, we can all have three on every. HBO. HBO special, HPV with Ian Lava. I got herpes. Do you want them to with in it? This is my genuine. This is nothing to do with with the corporate entity that's tied over me right now. Let's roll the dice and see if we

Starting point is 00:51:12 get AIDS. It's in lava. In no condom. Lala. Yeah. That's funny. I call it a lot on HBO with in lava. I him a lot. On HBO with Ian Lavalon. I call him a lot.

Starting point is 00:51:27 I would get to make that the clip. So you think the food, you think the food was the hardest one? Yeah, because it's the most accepted. You have to eat. Okay, so I'm in the gym last night and I do this guy, this fucking shredded brother who does his dumbbell work. Yeah, very good for me, right? And so I'm in the gym, it's two o'clock in the morning, I want 12 o'clock at night in the morning, whatever.

Starting point is 00:51:51 And I'm a sudden it's like three food commercials. Yeah. The Wendy's and Cheetos. They know where to find this magical, that time and night. I'm telling you man, it's weird that they know I'm watching this video and that in, you know, it's a bunch of fatties watching these videos. Oh, it was on YouTube.

Starting point is 00:52:06 So on YouTube. Oh, you watching a workout video and their promo is fat. The ads are all the ads before I can get it to the workouts. That's wild. And I'm like, and my brain went, they're gonna know how to say it. What's your fucking way? Right, it's a sensory overload.

Starting point is 00:52:21 You can't help it. And immediately like, well, I could do it. And then I'm like, I shook it off. I'm like, what the fuck? So they're telling you one way, don't be fat by this new gym equipment, go work out, get this. And then the commercials, dude, you gotta check out this new sandwich.

Starting point is 00:52:35 Okay, the McRobb is almost leaving. Yeah, I mean, they're threatening you. Yeah, they're threatening you, dude. We ain't making a shit again. So the 17th time fat motherfuckers. That's a full yeah. It's threatening you, dude, we ain't making this shit again. So for the 17th time, you fat motherfuckers. That's a full threat. That's great. I mean, obviously, if you never experienced it,

Starting point is 00:52:51 you don't know other people's play. But that's difficult, man, because I kind of like, I try to eat healthy, but like, if I want something. What was this girl's joke? Did I say that girl's joke last week on the pod? What? The girl I worked with, the cleavage goes, why did Ronald take away the McRib so he could suck his own dick?

Starting point is 00:53:06 That's a good joke. Would you do halarities? Yeah, halarities. Yeah, food is the worst. Drugs terrible, right? Alcohol terrible. Sex. Sex is awesome, but it will ruin your life.

Starting point is 00:53:21 Yeah, it will ruin your life. And you won't be able to come home from it. Yeah. And you wind up doing shit, you really don't want to do. I think you wind up loaming. Yeah. You wind up, you never wind up loaming. You're gonna be on the next video on the outside

Starting point is 00:53:34 where the fat chick was, where the chick with the family on the inside going, you're loaming. You whore. And you'd be like, no, I love myself. I love showing my asshole for Nichols. I love who I am. Nichols. I love who I am Nichols. And she's gonna be with her kids. And little kids gonna look up, no you don't.

Starting point is 00:53:48 You have nobody when you're dead. When you're 60, you'll be alone. So, be honest, I found that for me, like I don't really, like, I know you guys are joking about it, but I don't really do the, like, hanging out anymore with, like, cause I used to, like, meet girls

Starting point is 00:54:02 and I would hang out with them. Yeah. But I just stop saying yes to hang it out. You're lying. Everything stops. I'm not. You're lying. I swear, I swear.

Starting point is 00:54:10 You're lying. I swear. I'll do it as Christopher Wacken. You're lying. I've seen you with a woman a day ago. When you say hang out, you mean hook up or what? Yeah, cause it always starts as a hangout and then it ends up in a hook up, 32.

Starting point is 00:54:24 Okay. Yeah, you're at that age where you like, and I was just like, I kept getting, I'm like, I used to do it for the story because I'm like, I'm a comedian, I need to live life, I need to go out. Sure. I would just be like, yeah, but then I was just like, no, I'm just going to bed. What is your special about before I watch it? It's just romantic comedy. It's honestly, it's not like, I've got some dating stuff, but it's about, it's about just like my life right now. Like, like living in New York, you know, I do some dating stuff, I do some stuff about my family and then I bring it home with a bit about my mom. Okay, cool. Okay.

Starting point is 00:54:53 Look, man, you're at a fantastic age right now. Just say for a male comedian. You're your first famous, right? You're your first pop where you build, build, build, build. You probably struggle for a long time. For sure. Build, build, build, build, all the sudden things that happen in and that boom, you're on HBO.

Starting point is 00:55:12 You're feeling it. You dealing with the inside of the industry. Hi, Ian, oh my God. Can you, all these people love you and it's great. Yeah. And you're in your early 30s. It's fantastic. I did the same shit. Yeah. Tourism. Yeah. Same shit where it. It's fantastic. I did the same shit.

Starting point is 00:55:25 Yeah. Tourism. Same shit where it's like, wow. This HBO same shit. Yeah. It's like, whoa, this is great. Were you married already? No, fuck that.

Starting point is 00:55:34 But it brought me to that. It brought me to the end of my, like I don't wanna do this anymore. Yeah. You know, I wanna go there. And then having a kid is a whole nother phase. Yeah. But enjoy it.

Starting point is 00:55:46 Have fun, enjoy every part of it, and make it about you. Make it about you. Enjoy you. Don't, don't worry about other things like that. Don't worry about chicks and don't worry about relationships. All that stuff's going to happen. You ain't going to have a choice in it. You're going to be with the person you're going to be with.

Starting point is 00:56:03 Enjoy this right now. Have fun, man. HBO, you're a good looking young. You got gonna be with the person you're gonna be with enjoy this right now have fun Man HBO you're good-looking young you got all these old bras that want to be with you. Yeah, all right Karen have fun. Let's do it Bobby convinced there's a couch in the other room go do it right now put it on the patreon You're gonna watch get your new pad put it under the Kid oh, I'm putting you in you don't be watching you don't want those noises Get in there kiddo putting you in you don't be watching you don't want those noises Your knees, yeah, plus Don will call in the middle of it, but I can't pick Max up right now

Starting point is 00:56:36 Thank you man, thank you. I appreciate that a lot of people don't talk about like people don't give you that Well, your first fame is awesome, you know, you remember your first fame. I'm not that fat girl You've done some stuff Me No, me, no. I'm more underground, you know me. Yeah, well, you'll get it someday. Thanks. We're still talking about HPV. Yeah, but you are famous in a way.

Starting point is 00:56:56 You are. I know who the hell you are. You got fame. Underground famous. That's just, that's corporate fame. That's industry fame. You have fame with the... Real, that's real.

Starting point is 00:57:06 Yeah, you have a holy shit fan base. But the eels. Yeah, but your fans, you only page the Skank fans, my fans. And the comedy fans know who you are. I love my fans. I had a great weekend in Tampa. Thank you for everybody who came to side splitters

Starting point is 00:57:21 and the Coastal Creative Guys. Great time in Tampa. They're awesome. Yeah, my industry stuff is like fake. I feel like that's like the real stuff. No, it's not fake. It's just a different, it's just a different album. Well, it doesn't feel like tangible,

Starting point is 00:57:33 like going out and selling out a deal. I don't think like that, man. Enjoy it. Don't think about not tangible her fame. You're in your thing, you're in your lane. Being your lane, enjoy it. Don't think about these people as anything. Can you like me an island?

Starting point is 00:57:47 I don't, don't. Stay in your lane. It's a break down lane. I did comics come home this weekend. You need three people to get off. Have you done comics come home? No, that's the Boston, you know. Yeah, Dennis Larry's.

Starting point is 00:58:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's awesome. It was amazing. It was sold out to the rafters. What's that? 19,000? Some of my, it's kind of slayery stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was awesome. It was crazy. It was sold out to the rafters. What's that? 19,000? 15,000. It was crazy.

Starting point is 00:58:08 Yeah, insane. And the lineup was nuts. Yeah. I always get nervous when I do it. Really? Yeah, it was, it bothers me about people who don't do stand-up, who hire you to do it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:18 Dude, you're gonna be fine. They don't get it. You don't get it. They don't get it. Never. Even with the purest intentions, they don't get it. Say, dude, you don't understand. No, just do it. You can just do it. Never. Even with the purest intentions, they don't get it. Say, dude, you don't understand. Now, just do it.

Starting point is 00:58:26 You can just do it. I was like, dude, I told him Jack was my friend, Dennis the son who produces it now and books it. He's the best. I love him. The sweetest guy ever. But he was like, I was like, dude, I need the video tape of my last performance.

Starting point is 00:58:39 He was like, why, man, why, you did great. Just, I was like, I don't want, I can't do the same jokes. I need to see it. Yeah. All right, dude, like weeks went by, my fuck. I need this man. He said, all right, dude, why? Dude, I just, you don't understand, I have a process

Starting point is 00:58:56 that I do to do big shows like this. So I don't eat a dick. This is what I have to do, because the anxiety is so crazy. Yeah. And I have to write it down. I have to go because the anxiety is so crazy. And I have to write it down. I have to go perform it a couple times. And I'll still fucking up. But I have to, all these things.

Starting point is 00:59:12 So we did all this stuff. Everything's going, and now everybody's, when you do a big show like this, and I don't, this is kind of bad to say, but you kind of hope that somebody eats it. So you're like, all right, cool. I'll do better than that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:24 You don't remember what you know? You know, the stakes are all right cool, I'll do better than that. Yeah, you know what I mean, but we're no. Do you like the stakes are so high? The stakes are high and everybody killed. From the opening girl local. Who was on it? Alex Adelman, Chrissy D, Roy Wood, Sam J, Dennis opened up Jimmy Fallon, went in the middle. He did a set.

Starting point is 00:59:44 He did a little set and then he did a song Sure with Dennis and John Malaney and Malaney closed. Oh, yeah, where did you go? I had to go up after Roy Wood. Yeah, that's great And you're such a you're such a murder though. Yeah, but it was put what what fucked me is that They didn't put the clock on. It's supposed to have like a 15 minute clock or 10 minute. Do you know where you're at? They didn't turn it on.

Starting point is 01:00:10 So I'm panicking, because I don't know where I am now. So midway through whatever, I'm looked down and I don't, there's nothing. So, but they were like, Jack was like, yeah, he just let him do what he wants. No, no, no, this isn't at the pussycat on the Tuesday, dude. Right. This isn't from the 20,000 people. I have to build this, build, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, no, this isn't at the pussycat on the Tuesday day. This isn't from the 20,000 people.

Starting point is 01:00:25 I have to build this, build, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I have to go good night and they will have some time and get the fuck outta here. If I do an extra joke, it doesn't fit, because I don't know where I'm at. That's the crescendo. Right, and I need to know when to get into the last thing. Right, I need to know the minute I have

Starting point is 01:00:42 to get into the last thing. Because it's a song, good. People don't know it, comedy's tempo. Same thing. If you listen to a comic, do his act, and you could put it with music. Yeah. I said the word crescendo.

Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah, I heard it. I was like music, yeah. Yeah, we heard it. Yeah, we heard it. Yeah, we heard it. Men are talking. Okay. I.

Starting point is 01:01:03 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was so great. Yeah, it heard it. Men are talking. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

Starting point is 01:01:11 I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

Starting point is 01:01:19 I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's crazy. I hate people sometimes. Yeah. Now what's that like, a kill in front of 20,000? It's not. Cause I can't imagine like, not as good as the seller.

Starting point is 01:01:30 It's not as good. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, I did the seller for the first time in a year. Yeah, I was gonna say, you don't, you don't, I haven't done it in a year. It's been a way. Yeah. And I went on the, at the seller,

Starting point is 01:01:40 I for VU, Tuesday night, a Wednesday night. I don't know what, no, seller. McDougal. I've done the VU. I haven't done the Salah. Salah was my only club for 15 years, it's the only club they had. So they've not do it in that long, but let me tell you something man,

Starting point is 01:01:54 there's no other room. Nothing. I don't give a fuck. Nothing cool. I know your room is the best. Nope. When you're murdering downstairs at the Salah, there's no other,

Starting point is 01:02:04 you feel like you're in the center of the universe. You feel like theing downstairs at the cellar, there's no other, you feel like you're in the center of the universe. You feel like the funniest motherfucker in the world. Then you gotta get all the, you gotta like squeeze by people and everyone's like trying to high-five you. And you bow your head out of humbleness. Yeah, yeah, you like look down,

Starting point is 01:02:16 you pretend that you're looking at your phone and stuff. Well, you have to have that you don't have. Then you go to the bathroom so you can get those compliments on who I was. I don't go that far, you're second. Well, you've been doing it for 30 years, but when you do it now, like. But you just say you take a different route to get those compliments on who I don't know that far you're second what you've been doing it for 30 years But when when when you do it now like you just say you take a different route to get more compliments

Starting point is 01:02:29 I know you go to the bathroom. I know I know I was gonna tell a story a tell a tell a comedy the Fangirl first hell of a male slut a tell was on stage Yeah, and I just was going to the bathroom. He was like, oh, you must have had a good set. And I was like, this is true. We all gonna be, yeah, but we all, we all, we all, we all bow our heads. Yeah, yeah, well, you killed a sell man. Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 01:02:56 And he get, that's why I didn't want to do a check. I didn't want to do an A. I was in love with comedy for a long time. Comedy was my, I was fucking that first. Now I mean, it's the same with me, like you got to joke about the girls, but the reason why the old girl works out is because comedy is the thing.

Starting point is 01:03:12 And it should be right now. It's like, that's why you got where you're at. Yeah, they like it at first, but then when you're like, I don't have a night off until maybe mid-March, they're like, all right, I don't know how I can't do it. Yeah, you'll lose all of them. And then the one that is, all right, I don't know how I can't do this. Yeah, you'll lose all of them. And then the one that is, the soldier,

Starting point is 01:03:29 is gonna stick around and that's the one, my wife was a soldier, my wife knew it, gets it. Even now, he's gotta go to work, tells my son, you gotta deal with it, this is what he does. That's beautiful. You know what I mean? Yeah, but in a limit, it filters out all the horse shit. Yeah. Yeah, because God forbid you get one of these girls knocked up. You're gonna be with the girl who's not a soldier. Wow. That's

Starting point is 01:03:54 a nightmare. I know. Yeah. I can't even imagine. Yeah. You were. Stop smiling. You can't abandon women anymore. Lewis did it. I'm scared. Lewis really goes through you guys. He's been through every hot comedian girl. Yeah, he's my idol. Yeah. But he's your idol. He's your idol. I like, I like the way he lives his life, man. We're on a weird colored deck that has warts on it. Subglommy award. Did you? Did you like dating Lewis? Some parts. I would imagine you guys got along good. Yeah, we were very intense in the beginning. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:31 Oh, making out. We used to fuck on the street. You got four of them. Where? All over. What do you mean? 19th street. We fucked in a cop car once.

Starting point is 01:04:40 We used to fucking like, in the cop car? At least now on top of one. Oh, really? Yeah. You had a loop? Yeah. You had a loob? What? I'm a very wet. Yeah, she's not in pre-monopause yet.

Starting point is 01:04:49 A couple years. I'm gonna dry up. No, I'm gonna dry up. Is that what happens? I'm gonna get injections, I'm gonna get an extra. You're gonna get moistened juxtap? I'm gonna get extra estrogen. Oh, really?

Starting point is 01:04:59 I don't know. You just figured it out now? Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. So you guys were bang on cars, car cars, and in alleys? I used to do that. He's a king. Back in the day, I did the around the corner the Y has a little vestibule.

Starting point is 01:05:11 Oh, nice. And you can go down there. You would bang at the Y around the corner? I used to bang in the seller downstairs. Yeah, in the bathroom? Yeah, dude. Not in the bathroom. I did bang a girl in the girls' bathroom.

Starting point is 01:05:20 Oh, nice. I went in the girls' bathroom because nobody would question it. You guys were rock stars. Back in, no, I think sex was, I mean, you guys still do it. That was only a couple of years ago, right? Right? People still do it.

Starting point is 01:05:31 I guess some people do it. Yeah, I don't do it. You don't do it. It's depends on the person. Like my last boyfriend was very like anti- Is the one that couldn't get in a direction? I should. Like he would always like pull the shades down and stuff.

Starting point is 01:05:45 I know. Really? He didn't want people seeing you or anything? And then when we broke up, I'm like, we were doing the whole break up. Go back together thing for a while. Then he started trying to do public stuff. But it would still be semi-private. We'd be in a state park, but he'd be like, I'll tie my mind this rock.

Starting point is 01:05:58 Nobody's here. A state park. Well, like Yogi Barely. Yeah, what are we doing? It's fucking terrible. I used to love being outside New York. I used to love going to the... I used to go to Central Park, middle of the night, terrifying. Yeah. And fuck around with girls. Oh my god. It was terrifying because we're gonna get killed back in the day.

Starting point is 01:06:17 It was sexy Bobby frolicing and cheap smettled with his dick. Yeah, cheap... She's smettled. I used to do it and watch the Square park. Oh God. Yeah, it was terrifying See that's how you know you have a problem these stories. Yeah, well that was with regular squares Chitai met I don't yeah, I don't do anything stuff like that. Well, that's good because you probably have good parents Yeah, right? You probably have a good upbringing. Yeah, and you probably were taught about sex. No, we don't have catholics Oh, yeah, well, I don't know how you made it out.

Starting point is 01:06:45 Cause they didn't talk to me about sex. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm a straight out, but I'm just saying the public. What's a straight out? I'm a straight hour, I'm saying. Oh, straight hour, I said a straight out. I don't know what's that meant. I was slang.

Starting point is 01:06:55 But you don't have sex outside? No, I never have. Really? Where are you from? Queens. Where's your family from? Dominic and Republic. You never banged on a beach?

Starting point is 01:07:08 Is that like a patch of a passage? Yeah, that's not. Yeah, yeah. That's outside, dude. Oh, I think I'm thinking like Central Park. No. You've been pounding outside if you lived out there. Oh yeah, I guess the beach, yeah. All right, Bobby, let's move on from this. Sorry. I'm not even a way too much. I'm not even a way too much. She's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, let's move on from this. Sorry, I'm not even able to wait too much. It's very funny, girl. Even the way too much. She's very, very, very, very good. She's really good. She's not on me.

Starting point is 01:07:29 You got to make? I can't believe you're fucking made that fat girl cry. Yeah. How much hate did you get all of that? Her fat tear ducts pushed you into that. Come on. How many, how much hate did you get? A lot, but I also got some love too, because, you know.

Starting point is 01:07:42 Yeah, from a bunch of bimbos. Yeah, I know. I thought you're awesome Yeah, she's too fat and she's never gonna I have a lot of people that have been watching the show for a year So I wanted to tell her that so bad So why did you even get booked for this they were like hey, we need somebody to it's when I rose battled Zachimiko I lost yeah, and my

Starting point is 01:07:59 Battle went viral the TLC people saw it and they're like, oh this girl saying True girl saying it's not viral and the TLC people saw it and they're like, oh, this girl's saying anything. True, this girl is saying anything. She's nuts. Well, can I watch the rest of that clip? Do you mind if I, can we watch the rest of that? Well, I wish I had the reunion. That's when I said, why did you buy the reunion?

Starting point is 01:08:12 Really funny. Well, she can pull up the reunion. Is it up there? It's on my Instagram. I play it. It's pretty deep. So, all right, play it a little bit. I want to hear this.

Starting point is 01:08:21 Just attacking me personally like that. Look at that. Hang on a second. I want to hear this. Just attacking me personally like that. Look at that. Hang on a second. Human. Oh, God, I hear. Jesus Christ. Look at that. That mic's laughing.

Starting point is 01:08:34 Still Chubby Bob's laughing. That's my butt. I mean, she looks like that little German kid and Willie Walker on the Chocofacry. Yeah, the Blueberry girl. Yeah, the Blueberry was, oh, is that, what's her name? First year, it's Augustine. Barucho Salt.

Starting point is 01:08:47 But then she turned into Barucho Salt after she ate the blueberry. I don't know who the fuck it was. That's crazy that she wore blue. That's nuts. I mean, you're fat. That's it goes gets fat law. She's like black.

Starting point is 01:08:57 Black little Smurfs never stood a chance. There's black, black, black, black, black, black, black. Who's this girl? That was one of the PAs. They put next to me make it look like I had a friend. This is completely your act. God, play it. And make light of her alcohol. Hang on one second.

Starting point is 01:09:15 Why were you in the cage? I know, right? This was outside the comedy zone in Charlotte. They flew you to Charlotte for this? Yep. But how did they play you into the story? They just plopped me in. They're like, were you ready to be this? Yep. But how did they play you into the story? They just plopped me in. They're like, were you ready to be me? And I'm like, let's go. Well, how did it? Why?

Starting point is 01:09:29 Give me my $900. Why is she talking to you? Like how? Well, she came to the comedy show. Why? You would be on stage. Yeah, I feel like a little extra fat stuff. And I ever do I have like one fan should they pack it out? Well, it was a squad brother show and I was sold out. Oh, he's famous. He's worried about numbers. Yeah, yeah, sell it out because I sell out now. HBO comedy romance, romantic comedy, romantic comedy, AKA, let me take a lizard. Let me see it.

Starting point is 01:10:00 So she can set this bed. She's pretty. I always been a cry. Stop. What did you say? I said, she's pretty. She is pretty. I've always been a cry. Stop. What did you say? I said she's pretty. She is pretty. Oh, she is pretty.

Starting point is 01:10:09 Yeah, she is very pretty. Oh, yeah. I just don't really believe you. I don't really buy what you're selling. Wait, I put the money on the issue to buy you. But that's fine. You don't want me to buy you. You don't want me to care.

Starting point is 01:10:19 You don't want to have, you don't want to have. It's gonna be great if they really over, stop. If they over-proose the show and they weaken those fences. That would be great. I just fell over the preface to show. Are you sort of French fry on their head? They do breakaway fence. Garden.

Starting point is 01:10:38 I'm dead. I'm in a win-win situation. You're in a conversation, you ****. This is the thing I know. Yeah, this is the shit I don't understand. We're a real conversation. I stop. Yeah, this is the shit I don't understand. We are having a conversation. You fucking idiot. I tie a dress up on the...

Starting point is 01:10:50 Okay, guys. I dress up on the... I mean, it's bad for a conversation. Hang on, one second. I forgot your comic. I'm a... I'm a... Sorry, I'm a...

Starting point is 01:11:00 I'm a... I really am just a fucking ninkin' poop. Hey, you should say something. sorry, you're very funny. I'll shut up. Was, were you really upset? Like you look worked up. Ian, talking to the microphone, I know you, this is your first fame.

Starting point is 01:11:12 First fame. Were you, were you worked up? Yeah. She worked up, look at her. Yeah. I still make some in there. For temple veins, we're popping out of our head. It still makes me mad.

Starting point is 01:11:21 You know what I like resorting to name calling all the time, but sometimes when somebody's not hearing you and they're not trying to hear you, you just got it. She's just Christ, dude. You know you fed up. You see better as thinner, period. You have tunnel vision.

Starting point is 01:11:35 If you didn't know me, you wouldn't know I had PCOS. You wouldn't know I've been thinned for more than I've been fat. You wouldn't know I lost 100 pounds on my own. You wouldn't know I had eating disorders. Would you know any of it? And that's the problem? Nobody knows that. I wouldn't tell her, this pounds on my own. You wouldn't know I had eating disorders. Would you know any of it? And that's the problem? Nobody knows that. When you tell her,

Starting point is 01:11:47 this is why we were still here. It's funny. Wait, there's my favorite, Ferrell. I thought that her friend, but he was like a really passive aggressive. I think that he's essentially enabling her every step of the way. I just think you have a wall up

Starting point is 01:12:01 and you're just full of excuses and you can cry and you can say you're happy I just don't buy it. You're not gonna convince me. But there you go. I just don't believe it. How do I need you to buy my own life? I mean, I get to porn for people that are gonna look up to you. An 18 year old girl that gets diagnosed with PCOS and you're the first figure she sees. And she's like, oh, well, I'll just say I'm fat and I'm happy and whatever.

Starting point is 01:12:24 That's not what I'm doing. Because people can't win up against people like you. There's like, she already made that point. So you did, like, you can't win. And like, it's a fight that I usually fight. And you can't. And that's cool. Have a nice night.

Starting point is 01:12:37 Bashing fat, shaming during parade. Play that one. I'll cry on that one. That's happened to me. She's in a wheelchair. What's, no, a bunch of people tried to. A bunch of people tried to tie ropes to her. Listen, she's bad, you guys. Hey, can I just say something though?

Starting point is 01:12:54 She's 100%. What is the disease? What does she have? PCOS. What is that? It's a polycystic ovarian syndrome, and it can affect weight gain. It can make you gain weight, it can make you lose weight. When you first get diagnosed with the first thing doctors say is, don't let your weight get out of control, because it can very quickly spiral out of control. And you know what these two did after this, because I'm a fatty, I'm an X-Fatty,

Starting point is 01:13:18 I'm a fat for life. I know what they did. They locked themselves in their car and they ate their faces. They went and got food. Yeah. 100% they went. They couldn't wait for filming was over. Because that's the stress levels are high.

Starting point is 01:13:30 What are you gonna do? You want the drug? You went and fucking grabbed a black pen and somewhere and sucked protein out of it. I grabbed the Lucas brothers. I was like, get in here. Yeah, but yeah, you, you know, it was funny. Not much has come out of those.

Starting point is 01:13:46 She is so cute. Ian, romantic comedy. Romantic financial, what is it? What is it? Romantic comedy. Romantic comedy. Now how did you feel real quick before we take off? We got a couple questions for you guys.

Starting point is 01:13:59 I think you're right by the way, 100%. Yeah, you're right. I do. You're on my side now. Well, I'm on your side. I go over to the good side. I think definitely it sucks when you get your feelings hurt. And I feel bad for fat people when they feel fat.

Starting point is 01:14:14 Yeah. And when people make them feel shitty. I mean, I remember Rogan, there's a couple of things that's happened to me. Right. You know, I think Rogan said, what happened to Bobby ate himself into a shape. Right. Yeah. Just hurt. But when I look at it as an honest man, as a human being, he's right. 100% right. Because like what you were saying about like there was people who were like saying things, but they never said it to me. It's sort of like that's the thing. Like do you care? Like how we make fun of love? It's like, all right, but you'd rather

Starting point is 01:14:43 I say nothing. Like you're my friend, I love you. I see you every day. You know, I care. And this is my way of showing you. And it's maybe it's like in the form of a joke and it can hurt your feelings, but nobody's perfect. Yeah. And if you're that much overweight, do something.

Starting point is 01:14:57 Fucking do something. Because people who love you want your time and they want you to be happy around them and feel good and do stuff with them. And it's hard to do in your... Yeah, that's not a thing. That's not a thing that you can, hey, I'm this size. No.

Starting point is 01:15:12 There's a size you can be that maybe isn't shredded. No. But you can be a little overweight, but that is unhealthy. When you're on a healthy, it's not good. You know what I mean? I'm no longer, I mean, I never really fast shame. Just love cause he, only because he pretends

Starting point is 01:15:27 that he, like he thinks he's skinny still. Who he talk about? He lost a lot of weight, love for. He's gonna love that we brought him up so much. Yeah, he lost a lot of weight. Do I know him? Yeah, you know him if you saw him. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:37 But not for his comedy. What do I know him for? Being fat and fat and crying. Being fat and crying. Love, that's just my guy. But he lost, you know, love. He lost his own guy. But he lost it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, love, he lost it. But he got big.

Starting point is 01:15:46 He was big at Skankfest. Yeah, he was big lost like 150 pounds and then gained it all back during the pandemic. He was still behaving like he was the skinny hot guy. Good looking guy. Yeah. He was big. Well, that's a problem when you as a fatty.

Starting point is 01:15:59 Yeah. I was walking around like airports like I was hot. Yeah. And I didn't understand certain times when women wouldn't like me. Yeah, right. And we went in one of the red tabs. I was actually around like airports like I was hot. Yeah. And I didn't understand certain times when women wouldn't... Were you walking in one of the red tabs? I was actually wobbling. I get it. It's hard to come to terms with.

Starting point is 01:16:11 But I'm, but honestly... But now I still have fat dude thing. You know what I mean? I still walk around like in my brain. I'm fat. Good looking. Yeah, I met him. Mine's been a young you.

Starting point is 01:16:22 Yeah, good looking guy. I mean, he's got good lips. Shit. All right, that's not what I want. Romantic. Calmer. He got good. Emory romantic comedy. I want to lick those lips.

Starting point is 01:16:33 Um, but now that you expressed it like that, I'm not going to do that. Um, well, I mean, you do whatever you want, but I don't, I don't tell people what to say. You can say whatever you want. I want to be a joke. If you want to. But if you're a fat person, I know this, you should try to do something about it. Try to not eat as much.

Starting point is 01:16:53 Try to move just a little bit. Lift heavy weights, lift heavy weights. You can be fat, you can be fat. You know what I mean? You don't have to be fucking shredded. You don't have to be perfect Hollywood. And you just start lifting weights. Like, you just lift heavier ones every day.

Starting point is 01:17:09 Like, just keep lifting heavy weights. Like, everything will be fine. But here's the thing. I swear to you. I agree with this. If you are a fatso and you're like, I just want to be fat. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:18 And I don't care if I die. Yeah. And I'm cool. I'm cool with that too. Sure. You know what I mean? But you can't complain when, that's like somebody who,

Starting point is 01:17:26 I wanna get my whole face tattooed because I like it. And then people are gonna look at you weird. You have to take that. You can't expect everybody to change the way they are. I think it can be selfish because again, if you're building relationships with people who love you, you're forcing them to watch you be unhealthy.

Starting point is 01:17:43 Right. You're forcing them via your actions to watch you be sick. And I think that's selfish. It's like a drug addict, same thing. Yeah, you're right. We got a couple of things we're gonna run over. Pete Davidson is fucking. Oh, this guy.

Starting point is 01:17:57 I really rattle. Can we get him a trophy? He's with Embrada? Yeah. Emily Rada. This motherfucker. Ian, you can steal her. You can steal her.

Starting point is 01:18:05 She did say, like from before, she'd say that she would date him. You could walk up behind her tap around the hip and steal her. He's really with Embrada? This guy is, I mean, he, he, look at man. You gotta, you gotta, not, it's not Lewis anymore. I'm gonna give Manine next time I see him. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a little. Shut out to Pete, man.

Starting point is 01:18:21 Yeah. I'm gonna give him both by knees. I bet you would. Embrada. Dude. Wait, I'm both by news doing I bet you would Amrata dude wait is that official is He's not but Pete's not going through he's not getting one of them He's gonna like Alex Baldwin and Mariner having a couple kids. No couple. He's running through What what what came out that they're together like were they seen together? Yeah And through what came out that they're together, like were they seen together? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:18:45 Report the news after the celebrity gossip Instagram account claimed the two had been spotted together in New York City. Look, if you're with Pete Davidson and you're that, you're, you're banging. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, he's not hanging out with you. No. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:02 He's not a good guy. He's a good looking guy. Great. Pete. I mean. Pete tall good looking dude. You don't even know what nationality that fucking kid is. Yeah, yeah. Pretty funny dude. Yeah, good for him. Dude, let's go do that.

Starting point is 01:19:12 She's got her personality kind of stinks out. I think this is going to be one of his shorter ones. Dude, he just left him Kardashian. I understand it's not for the person. I think Kim has a better personality. You are fucking collusion. I'm ready. She's like written like stupid articles and like dumb shit.

Starting point is 01:19:28 She kind of stinks. Ariana Grande. I'm rada. Kim Kardashian. Wait, Kate, Kate, that's the thing. Kaya Gerber. That's Cindy Crawford. Kaya Gerber.

Starting point is 01:19:37 I listen, these are all dumb people. They're dumb. No, they're dumb. Okay, wait, Kaya, Kazy David. Interesting, funny and beautiful. Larry David star. She was dumb. I think they're smart. I think they're all smart. She's not on the list. She's not on the list. Well, I think they're all smart people. She was one of them. Yeah, but that was for a day.

Starting point is 01:19:52 No, they dated. They dated. No, that was like a big thing. That was a big thing. Larry David's daughter. Dude, these, these four chicks are stupid. Smart. And that chick that was squatting down. She's a dumb dumb. Amrata is a dumb dumb. And what I said came out hard as she is a lawyer. Kim Kardashian is not a lawyer. She's getting people that look like Ian out of jail every day. With what?

Starting point is 01:20:11 Her pussy. The Lord's work. I applaud it. People who look like Ian made her famous. I applaud it. I know I do kind of look like Ray J. I'm like, I joke 100%. I joke just stands up and every way you look at it.

Starting point is 01:20:23 Like Ray J. Jr. I mean, dude, we gotta as as comics as men. Yeah, we have to give him more. We gotta get a met some type of trophy, a medal. He deserves a beat. Yeah, I mean, he got to get his Jersey retired something downstairs, like on stage or something. Something. Yeah, he's a kid is. Hang it up.

Starting point is 01:20:41 Yeah, through it. He's doing it. I mean, no one. Who else? One of the commerce. No one. No one even comes close. I'm like the next thing. And I'm like, there is a mom out there.

Starting point is 01:20:51 You're back. You shut up, you shut up. There is a mom out there with a 12 year old, who's like, listen, in six years. There is a man named Peter Davidson. Put that book on your head and walk down that. Show this back. Stomach in you, dumb whore.

Starting point is 01:21:04 You need this. Don't you dare pick up a book. He's going to go down in like books is like one of those got you know you hear about like guys from like the 70s like the biggest ladies. Yeah, I mean, dude, he's like I would argue he's better than Leo because Leo does some sort of like they're beautiful, but they're like they have even less of a personality than like they're just model Does nobody less than Ariana Grande and fucking Kim Kardashian? You don't understand the vapidness

Starting point is 01:21:31 I disagree. Have you watched the show? Have you seen Ariana taking impersonations of other people's voices? They're extremely talented. They're good. Her vocal range is crazy good. Listen HBO. He makes me think they're Ariana tell me how cute they look together. A little, a little like wedding cake. I might give you our round up because she's funny. Yeah. Because I used to love her show. It's good. What's his cat and I forget the name.

Starting point is 01:21:57 Cat and hat. But she played a stupid on it. She played a dummy on. Selena Gomez was here like two weeks ago. Like downstairs. Who cares? Did you talk to her? In that same room? Did you talk to her? Nickelodeon? Yeah, yeah young girl hot old lady fucking ugly I couldn't have with Pete no offense. I Kid what whatever I'm fine. Oh, you know, I'm fine. You know you're in him. You gave me I mean literally If me if you got fun if me and you were somewhere in the middle of somewhere and there was nobody else around, I jerk off to you.

Starting point is 01:22:28 Thank you. I would watch you in a window, but yeah. Thank you. Let me watch you one night. You can, $25 a month. I'll take you on the road. Subscribe. You open for me.

Starting point is 01:22:39 I just wanna get two rooms and have the middle door open. I just wanna watch you. You're gonna block me on the only one? It's getting blocked. Where was your special taped? In Brooklyn at the Rulette Theater. Wow, that's great. You've been there?

Starting point is 01:22:52 It's where the whole mint tape? I know where it is. I did go to gomins, yeah. No, I did want to gomins over here. That's great. And she directed it. Yes. That's awesome.

Starting point is 01:23:00 Yeah, she did a great job, I think. And is it an hour or a full hour? No, it's not. It's like 40 minutes. 40 minutes, okay? Keep it palatable, you hour? No, it's not, it's like 40 minutes. 40 minutes, okay. Keep it palatable, you know? Oh, that's one way to say it. The other way to say it's not a headlining set.

Starting point is 01:23:10 Oh, my bag! Bobo! Hey! What's my second one? I had a half hour this year, oh. All right, that's still a half hour. It's HBO. My specials an hour.

Starting point is 01:23:19 Kill me. Where's that on? Where's that on? You gotta like, jailbreak your phone. No, what's that? Hi! How many apps I need to download to watch that one? You're gonna get the dark web. Where's that on you got to like Joe break your phone How many apps I need to download you watch that one you get the dark web All right, you take the filters off your Google

Starting point is 01:23:41 Privacy setting yeah, Robert can a kill box at Robert Kelly kill box dark As funny dude, so you can go watch it now check it out. We got some questions for you, fuckers. All right, let's do it. All right, ready? All right, you guys are fun, man. I love you two together. Don't have a chance to start. That's worth it.

Starting point is 01:23:56 Don't, don't do it. No, because it will, she'll lose interest. No, I won't, Ian. Steve. No, I won't. Ian, can you describe, this is a good one. This is from mean, can you describe this a good one? This from Steve? Can you describe a Karen in three words? Karen in three words? All Karen or Karen? Karen. Oh, in three words? Yeah, let's go. I'll say, I'll say empathetic. I take the ampah in front of it, just put it in front of it. Just put it in front of it. Funny and hot. I put on in front of that. In that order?

Starting point is 01:24:26 In hot. I'm empathetic. And I put kind of in front of that. And no, in no particular order. No particular order. Okay. Empathetic. Funny and hot.

Starting point is 01:24:33 She's empathetic. Very. Really? Do you know what that means? Yes, she's very. You know that doesn't mean hand jobs, right? Oh, well then, let me switch to work. She's like, oh, amputee.

Starting point is 01:24:43 I meant amputee. Yeah. She reminds me of someone with not enough. Love's given epithetics. Epitaphs. She rush. She's a poet. Epitaphs.

Starting point is 01:24:54 Karen, Ian, if you were Kelly Corp's CEO, what changes would you make to further brands reach? That's from Scruffy bones,, AK Manchest, the AK, the fucking captain. Wait, did you guys ever see the question? Yes, if you and Ian were the CEO of my corporation, Cali Corp. Oh, okay, okay. What changes would you make to make the brand reach more people?

Starting point is 01:25:19 In reach more people? Oh, boy. I don't know. I feel like Bobby's already made a lot of personal changes that are gonna reach some really fitness heads out there. So I think we're already on the right track. Yeah me and you will make a point. You guys can make a point to me. Anil, that's what you need. More anal. Dude, if you guys, if you stuck it in, you're special with pop. If you just put it in right now, one of these cameras.

Starting point is 01:25:41 I want my belly button that's good that's a good sign Bobby throws up that means he's fucking erect 38-year-old belly button come out of her 30 like a pro laps down at least 44 oh romantic comedy gonna pop

Starting point is 01:26:00 like a belly button popper yeah Ian Laura pro laps assholes on HBO. Pro laps, pro laps, all of it. I want to say hi to Casey, a large and even love dogs, even loves dogs. Seren confirmed Syrian refugee,

Starting point is 01:26:22 John Pete, Jennyny Jalup, Chris, Riley Connor, Lance Akira's Alex Hebert, Ashley Wideman, Mike Kingsonfather, and Jake Duquach. I wanna thank you guys for becoming Patreon members.

Starting point is 01:26:37 You guys are the best. And also, I wanna say something to some people right now. Make sure you go to Guy Times. Guy Times. Right now is a podcast network that, they're the ones who make it all happen. You guys like the ONA shit. You love all the crazy stuff from back in the day.

Starting point is 01:26:54 Well, Guy Times is the place to go. It's the podcast network that allows crazy fucked up, hilarious comedy, and I have a thing I'm supposed to read, but I can't find it. But okay, cool. That's it. So go to guy times.com right now. Check it out all the hilarious shows.

Starting point is 01:27:12 What else? What do you got? Besides the special. Yeah. I mean, dude, I can't wait to check it out. Thank you, Bob. Not only because, listen, I love that they're giving guys like you specials. I love HBO's looking at the next generation

Starting point is 01:27:28 and picking very funny people like you. Thank you brother. Also, I know that you murdered. I know you kick it. I know in a Rubah, looking you were new. I was like, who's this kid? You taking dumb photos? I'm like, it's gonna suck a bag as

Starting point is 01:27:41 and you went up and murdered. I was like, oh, he's legit. He's legit. He's legit So and you're at the seller. Yeah, and you know people will play the seller. Just don't get you know what I mean Yeah, some of them, but you know you know you when I saw you here kicking in some happy for you I appreciate it. So please go check out a special yeah on HBO spread the word retweet it and I'll come back on again Sure, man. This is an honor to be here. I listen to this. I do.

Starting point is 01:28:06 Come on and tell me what brother. Thank you brother. And Karen, what do you guys, sweetie? I tell you, me and you on the road. Yeah, let's go. I love you. I make you say I love you, Bobby. Let's go.

Starting point is 01:28:15 Oh, would you say I love you? Yeah, sure, right? Nobody better than you. Check out my podcast, OnlyFians, every Friday on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram. I'm going to be at the Dojo Comedy East, December 17th, and I'm going to be in LA first week in January, doing some stuff. Oh, nice.

Starting point is 01:28:34 I'll be at the Kenosha Comedy Club in West Concent this weekend. Oh, cool. Check it out. And where you going? We're going to our next year, so about the dates coming up. What's your website? E and Lara Live. Yeah, you about to blow up. You're about to blow up.

Starting point is 01:28:44 Thank you. Yeah, appreciate that. You're about to blow up. You're about to blow up. Thank you. Appreciate that. You're about to do. Blow him. Don't. All right, I gotta run. Thank you, Bob.

Starting point is 01:28:52 I see you later, man. I wanna make sure you go to my, you can take off, buddy. All right, thank you. All right, thank you. Go to robacadolive.com for all my dates, comedy connection, laugh Boston. We got Mike Drop, Comic-Sandy, Diego, Off the Hook, everywhere.

Starting point is 01:29:04 Go there and go to ComicWeribals.com, get all your YKWD gear, use Co-Word Ladybugs to check that out. And all you people in the chat, I will be a bonfire tomorrow night, co-hosting with Jay, Big Jay. So check that out, get a photo of him, guys. Can you focus on that?

Starting point is 01:29:20 I really don't need to do that. These guys are staring at me. This fucking three people. He's about to walk out the not getting a photo. Anyways, what else do I got? What else? Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. If you're watching this on YouTube, God bless you. Hit subscribe, liking, comment, but you do me a favor and go to patreon.com slash Robert

Starting point is 01:29:40 Kelly. Get the show while it's happening. Be in the chat. One of the funniest chat rooms on the planet is the ladybugs and get the JOP, you get all kinds of things. And also, if you haven't got it, kill box, my special, LouisCK.com, robbercalikillbox.com, it's available right now to get right now, kill box. Yeah, you go and pee there, go around the other way, those were pretty.

Starting point is 01:30:05 She's gonna pee, I hope you pee at pants. All right, that's it, we'll see you guys. Give it up for Joe, at Joe Russell, give it up for At Boyz, you got Bush. I want you to do this in the beginning because you're anti-climactic. I literally build it up and then here we go. Okay.

Starting point is 01:30:22 I will be San 20th, they'll send. Well, you're looking at me. Wow, that was great, I didn't think you were gonna. Now I'll be with Antonio, they'll sent you. Well, you're looking at me. Wow, that was great. I think you're in there. Now, I'll be with the Kendrick Connection with Robert Kelly this weekend if you're watching live. Next Wednesday, I will be headlining

Starting point is 01:30:33 at the standup, upstage in San Antonio, Texas. And the first weekend in December, I'll be at the Houston and Providence. And about Joe, what about Joe? Where's he go? You do it. Do it for him. He stinks.

Starting point is 01:30:44 Don't do it. God, do it, Joe form he stinks don't do it got to do it Joe You can show out Joe at the comedy shop and your show is the fat black at the comedy so and also the cheese show The cheese show on YouTube make sure you subscribe and follow him on YouTube follow him on Instagram follow Robert Kelly I'm Robert Kelly. Why I'm trying to try and Karen's Karen's coat right now. I see if it's right on just try it on Just put it on just put it on hurry. Just put it on, hurry up. Just put it on. I want to see what this looks like. Just try, try, try. Put it down.

Starting point is 01:31:12 You can't. Oh my God, okay, that's it. He thought I was doing photos, it was videos. He froze and then just fucking dead. All right guys, fuck this, I'm out, bye. You know what, dude? See you next week. Shhh!

Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Kerryn Feehan, Ian Lara | Crescendo

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