Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Kerryn Feehan, Jon Fisch | Good Time Girl

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

This week's YKWD we're joined by Kerryn Feehan and Jon Fisch as we look at reversing the ageing process, Kerryn's recent magazine appearance, and learn why Bobby was a summer camp legend! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be see. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Baby, we're startinglo sin pagar nunca. back again. Original, original. It's Robert Kelly, back on YKWD, and yes, I'm looking at a hustler, and I looked at the third page, and Pussy looks like gum. Just a fact. Welcome back, fresh back from Skangfest and

I'm here today first one to take all the patreon people patreon.com slash Robert Kelly Go there if you're not a member if you're watching this on YouTube for free Be my guest, but if you want to support me go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly We do extra ykwd. We gotector and Kelly, extra we got the JLP, life in this shed, there's so much content up there. And for a price of a cup of fucking coffee, it may be a couple egg bites, the bacon ones, those are good, the cow ones make me shit.

So make sure you go there and become a member. But if not just here, subscribe if you wanna get it for free. I don't give a shit, do what you gotta do. And like and comment, and I don't care what you say, you can say mean shit, just comment, get me on the algorithms. Also, I want to, I got nothing else, man, go to comicwearapples.com. Comicwearapples.com, get all my merch over there,

I got some cool shirts, the new Skankfest hat, YKWD hat is up there. If you want one of those, they sold out. They're gone. We had them at Skankfest. All them fucking gone. And all the YKWD hat gone. Cool to see people wearing them around the festival. I want to thank all the fucking fans of Skankfest.

We're going to get into Skankfest today. We're going to get into some fucking, some bubble gum. And we're going to talk some old Jewish testament from the Torah, or today on the YKWD. Nicole, why don't you introduce that guest real quick. Sure, today we have John Fish. Hey, hey, hey, hey, and we also have Karen Fien. Hi, hi, thanks for having me again. me a guy with a pleasure. Gary and my friend Paul. My friend Paul G from Westchester owns one of the best entire restaurants in Westchester. As I say Castellados, but he goes Castellados. He just said, give her my number.

I'm not giving you first of all, it's not happening because he has a wife. My love. I like stuffed shells. Let's go. I can't get it. I'll let you nickname because he has a wife. Yeah. My love. I like stuffed shells. Let's go. Let's go. I can't go. Isn't that your nickname in high school?

Stuff shells. That was Boston cream. Boston cream. And who else do we? I would get nobody else. I'm just thinking about a bucket bubble gum. That's funny the way you open to it was just like pure vagina. It just looks like it's a piece of bubble gum, I mean.

And not a stepped on piece. I mean, you know, explain to people. It looks looks like it's a piece of bubble gum. I mean, I'm not a stepped on piece. I mean, it's explained to people, it looks like a clean piece of chute. Oh, it looks like you chewed it and then stuck it on your forearm. I mean, I'm kind of nervous. So that one looks pretty clean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They should add a couple hairs on that just so I don't feel uncomfortable. Right. There's not even any stubble on that one. Yeah, and they like them young. Yeah, they, there's not even like a root hole him young, you know? Yeah, this is a wrestler. There's not even like a root hole for hair, you know,

no follicle. No follicle, I need a follicle to make me feel comfortable. It's all touch up. Anyways, we got a great show today. I haven't had you on on a while. I don't think I've ever been on. Did you do the, didn't we do it in the air? Something you're lying.

I'm not lying. I'm not lying. I'm not lying. I'm not lying. I'm't think you're lying. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh my god, I'm so sorry dude. Thank you. The first time on the show right yeah cut all that out and it daddy Welcome finally. Yeah, I'm trying to have you on for a while. Hey, man. This is great. Wow. We yeah Could you could we have gotten you a smaller die cult? Funny, but you know what? There were I read something about like the best way to have die coke and this is the number one I know it's because it's a small portion the play the the bubbles are the bubbles are the best way to have Diet Coke, and this is the number one. What? It's because it's a small portion, the bubbles are tight.

The bubbles are the best, yeah. Yeah. Is that, go with penises too? Yeah, for sure. Just small portions, only a little giz comes out. It's all you need. And it's bubbly. Girl, so care about dick size anymore.

No, well. Feel like they do. No. No, they want, they want a dick like they want the a tick chalk. Just click and funny. No, girls are all just like really getting into like click coming and like being on their way I think they were judged the first 15 minutes of every podcast on YouTube Let's talk about John for the first time in his life and his baby in his new album

And then we're gonna get to you for the last 45 We're gonna talk about you off fucking bubble gum and what just tastes like. Sorry, I'm going to tone it down. No, no, please don't tone it down. I'm going to tone it down. So you've a tone. You have a so lucky she's on. You have an infant, right? Yeah. She's 16 months. Oh, that's amazing. Well, I was there in a rubah when you

yeah you guys were the first guys I told yeah because a conception what happened in a rubah I fucked him in the ass and he was the first guy to have a baby and my wife siphoned it out into the air hey I can play this game yeah apparently yeah just maybe throw up just pitch it here with a fucking, the hose in your eye. No, because we were, she was being a little antisocial. And I did, it was like, we had actually just found out that it was viable.

Yeah, we were thinking to call your baby. Oh, you're pregnant. Oh, you're a jizz. Yeah, not the baby. The pregnancy. The pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Yeah, because like, she wasn't there pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, I guess yeah, because like she wasn't there yet. You mean, I mean, me, like, I'm old school.

We call it dead or not dead. Not dead. We call it toilet yuck going for a max. Yeah. That was on the stair master or whatever it is, the elliptical at the Marriott, Jim, when she facetied me and told me we were, they have a gym at the Marriott? They do FaceTime me and told me we were. They have a gym at the Marriott?

They do, it's a good one. I didn't know that. Yeah, we weren't even thinking at the Marriott. They had it behind the fence. Yeah, it's good, better than that holiday in one. I've never seen that one either. I'm like, go to the day. You think he's good?

You don't annoys me on fucking stupid vacation. People going to the gym and running on the beach. I pray, I saw some lady trip in a room once. She tripped on like a fucking, like some type of curb that came up a little bit. She was right, she looked so good. She's running, she tripped on her fucking headphones when I was so happy her phone went into the sand,

like deep, like she almost couldn't find it. I was like, good, that's what you like deep like she almost couldn't find it. I was like good That's what you get. So I'm making me feel guilty to be fair I was just working off the anxiety of waiting for that. Okay. Yeah, all right. Yeah, and the baby's beautiful She's awesome. She's really she's awesome. That's great. Yeah, and someday she can grow up to be like Karen She's lucky. She's lucky to be gorgeous and in hustle That would just be great. She's more with that... With that, let me ask you a question. Yeah.

Because Karen's awesome. Yeah. She's fucking funny, you shit. Cool girl, right? Yeah. Your parents like you? This is a good question. You're very close with your mom, right?

I know. I know where he's going with that. Your parents love you, right? Yeah. If one day you grow, winds up in hustler or, you know, free with their sex or whatever, is it with that bother you? Free with their sex. I don't know how to say their sex or whatever. Is it with that ball to you? Free with their sex.

I don't know how to say it without affecting you. Showing a pussy for 20 grand a month. Winking her ass hole at a fat guy. Free with our sex. Fluid with our luckily. I'm an old dead, I'll be dead. Oh, what's a great way to look at things. You're not gonna be dead.

I might be dead. No, you're not gonna be dead. How old be dead. No, you're not gonna be dead. How old are you? I'm 48. Dude, I'm 51. Yeah. We're gonna be alive. People live into the 80s.

I don't need to do I need to quote your joke. You have 20 summers left. I have 30, 28 now. But yes, and then what's his name? Stole that joke and this and this and this. Did it. Some fucking black dude. Cat, Steven Dale, Hurricane.

I don't know. The fuck is name. Tommy do it in Philly, then he just did it his act. I Steven Dale, Hurricane. The fuck is name. Tommy do it in Philly, then he just did it as act. I go, thanks. Wow. Good joke. Great joke. He's great, Joe.

You guys are fine. Just start shooting yourself up with like NAD+. What the fuck is that? Look it up. It's like it reverses time. And there's a difference between your chronological age and your biological age. You could have reversed your shit. Yeah. What are you fucking talking about?

I'm telling you listen I've got a lot of Bitcoin in the last three months because of this stupid conversations from younger people I don't want to shoot up. I mean do I have a lot of Bitcoin? Yes, I do Robert maybe we should be reading the articles in hustler. Yeah, this is very interesting. The articles are great I'm listening and I make it to the house Pull over on the sawmill and crack when out the woods with the older man My god, I fucking so much great stuff like there's like is that you was that you? No, I'm oh there might be one are you all right? Let me get this is not on camera, right?

You should this is great for me, our Patreon people though. Yeah, look, let's look at this at the end. There you go. This is Patreon only. There you go. Patreon only, we're gonna be going through this, and we're gonna be rating the photos. Yeah, we're gonna put my wall behind a pay wall.

Yeah, ooh. So, but if you, if you're a daughter, yeah, one day she was just like, hey, Dan, I'm in, I'm in by then, it's going to be called fucking, uh, scissor lips. Uh, I'm on some politically correct name. Right, right. Women's butterflies.

Yes, we have to have all the different genders. Yeah. One scene holding hands. I think it would make me uncomfortable if she did porn. Definitely. Yeah. Um, but I don't know about that. If you saw, if she, I can't do, I tell. But I don't know about that. If you, if you, I can't do, I tell by your time.

I don't know about that. I mean, I want to be open to all things. Your friends gone though. Your daughter's got a nice plot. Let's be clear. My friends will definitely be dead. Why? Who do you hang with?

I can morty solve. Chad is a Mason. Because I am the oldest of my friends So whenever we see like really old people there are always like friends years meeting up Hey, does that have a good point because I didn't do this until I mean I'm I was you know 24 25 25 what years in the comedy 25 years into your second vagina. I was older. I was like 26 years old when I was older 25 years into your second vagina. I was older.

I was like 26 years old when I was... Older? You dropped the E.R. off of that. You're screaming out. I was like, I got a great body, but I mean... No, brutal. You look beautiful. You know that.

That's so verbal. No, cry. Don't cry. Give me my magazine bank. No, Bobby, you look at me. I got a crush on you. Don't kid yourself. Thank God.

No, at my point, he might be dead. So why worry about it now? Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? He's not gonna be dead. It's only. Why do you care? You're gonna be dead too.

My worry right now is for her to get through one day of daycare without crying. No, I got you thinking about her vagina and the magazine. I really stink, I apologize. I'm just hoping she doesn't bite other kids. Right. I got her spread in her bubble gum on a phone.

H 17. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I was proud of it. That's why I'm so glad I didn't have a girl. Yeah. Yeah, because I didn't, I don't know if I would have, I'm not, I don't think I'm mature enough. I mean, of course I would deal with it. You would.

No, the fact that fucking Lewis Gomez and Ari Shafir would make a T-shirt out of it and come to my barbecue at my daughter's pussy on it. Right. I would, I wouldn't be able to do it. There's a lot of new ones to the conversation. I wait, I would like, sometimes I'm like, oh my God, am I like breaking my father's heart?

Like this is like, I love my dad. Like I'm very close to my dad. Yeah, but your dad's not about it. Your dad's not a comic. No, dad is a square. He's out in the regular world where it's like whatever. Which would be a comic though. Right. No, because Ari Shafir would make it so bad on me.

Yeah, he would make a coloring book of your daughter's pussy. Yeah. Just like a paint by number. Yeah, there would be a legion of Skanks episode, where those three, and Joe Dero, so would just talk about, like they would rate her vagina. It would be off. Well, why don't they do it for your son then?

Well, it's penis. But you know what I'm saying? It would be a lot of ideas. You just gave him a lot of ideas. No. It's because they're not creative. That's great. They are creative. I saw some Instagram stories. I saw Lewis and that feather costume. I don't know how to reset this. I'm sorry. If we're being perfectly like that. You said you're brewed. Can you get that and give it to

him? I hope you move faster, Joe. Joe moves like a fucking. He's just like, he rocks back and forth and then he comes. I've thought about it for a moment and I thought now is I hope nobody ever sees her vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a tough thing, man. It's a tough thing when you have like like, my son, I have the thing in my act about it, like six years ago, I was so excited to have a boy. So, you know, eight years ago, so I could teach him my moves. Now my moves are solved. You know what I mean?

So it's like, what the belly flop? No, no, back dead, not now. My moves now would just lie there and have your sleep mask on. Get a fucking Pepsi day, see, See and try to make it through. That's true. There's actually a day though. A little area of the comedy seller square footage that Robert hasn't cost us. You don't even know. I had I had two waitresses blow me as they're calling my name in the

hallway. That was the high one on stage with a happy with fun with Stamink coming out rock star. And then they were lging their boobs in the hallway. Well, yeah, we used to have a good time here That's all jokes. I can't come on now. Somebody writes an article back on the day time stamp Yeah, I mean yeah back in the day. It's different now though. I'm gonna teach my you know Just my son how to be a gentleman, but you know, when it comes to sex, I was like, this is gonna be great, but I gotta teach him. I don't want my kid to fucking wind up in HR

because daddy taught him how to take his dick out on the first date and push her head down slowly. You know what I mean? I just thought of, yeah. I wonder about those conversations like my dad, if he had them with my brother. We never had them back in the day. That's why we're all fucked up.

That's why sexually I'm fucking nuts because no one ever taught us. We were, I was Irish Catholic from Boston, you're Jew from Boston. Our parents didn't come to us. Irish Catholic from Boston. Irish Catholic from Boston. They just said learn. However you learn. Yeah.

Even you and my generation, not. Don't get AIDS. I'm a little bit younger than you, but even said learn, however you learn. Yeah. Yeah. Even you and my generation, I'm a little bit younger than you, but even my generation, there was still just like embarrassment about it. It was never open and there was a lot of books around. Yes. Yes. The teenage body book.

So like that was like my first introduction, but then my brother got like real, like a porn omat. Are he got like a sports illustrated, I think? I got, I got I got molested That taught me I got molested in a rhubarb bush by the blouse Lucky that's hands-on learning. Yeah, some fat chick took my pecker out in a bush in first grade and told me to suck on a big tits Well the friend grabbed my balls. Yeah, that's good. You did get molested. Yeah, well, yeah, wow. Well, I mean

I had my balls. Yeah, that's good. You did get molested. Yeah, fuck yeah. Wow. Well, I mean, back then, I don't blame them, even because nobody was... I'm old with a girl with a big 10. 45.

I'm kidding. I'm dying. She was a kid. She's not paid for. But if she is, she's probably at least 12, 13. Maybe. Yeah. But I don't blame her because she wasn't taught either.

None of us had any idea about sex. We just, we were left her own devices on touchin and feelin and doing stuff. And we just didn't know what the fuck we were doing. We didn't know what it was. It was just penises and it felt good. But that sounds like pure and organic. Like what's to say, like what's good and bad?

Like now like it's get introduced and it's just like fucking one girl, six holes. Like what's to say, like what's good and bad? Like now like kids get introduced and it's just like fucking one girl, six holes. Like you know what I mean? Like it's just, it's a lot right away. Yeah. Maybe it's it was better that way to not know. I don't think so. I think it's better to talk to your kid about it

and let him be able to come to you and not be afraid that you're going. What kind of thing? Jesus, Jesus, I cried. I thought Jesus, I thought God was coming to kill me. When you masturbated? No, when those girls, that girl, that- When you got molested.

Yeah, I thought they were coming to kill me. Yeah. And because I knew it was bad. Yeah. And God was coming to fucking take me to hell. And my mother was like, what's wrong? And I was crying. And I couldn't tell her because, so I'm just, yeah, shame.

I was just in the bed crying because I did something wrong and I was so young. And I, and you just learn how to go, and push it down. And, Did you ever see those kids again? Yeah, I sucked the tits next week. And tops at top university, and they're attic.

Yeah, got another friend in there. I was like, dude, check this out. That was terrible, but I shouldn't have done that. That felt bad about that. So it was a rough week, is what friend in there. I was like, dude, check this out. That was terrible, but I shouldn't have done that. That's all bad about that. So that was a rough week. That's what you're saying. That was a rough couple of years, man. I mean, you know, and that's what I hate.

People who shame people for sex and, you know, like even, you know, it's like fucking who cares. You know, he's gay or she's a slut. It's like, go fuck yourself, dude. Sex is a weird thing and sex is, especially at a young age, you don't know what the hell's going on. I always find other people that are the most like,

what are you doing? What are you doing? They are doing the weirdest shit behind closed doors. That's what it all is. Anybody's like pointing their finger, being like, what are you doing? If it's like adult consenting people, like doing kinky weird shit, good. Organisms are good for you. Not enough women have orgasms like still. Like it's good for your skin. It's good for everything. I should come

on my wife's face. Absolutely. It's moisturizing. It's a serum. See that's my wife right now. Yeah, she's like, who's that? I'm watching the Patreon. She just sent me a, oh my, that's great. This is good conversation. My last text from my wife is, love you. Thank you for trimming your pubic hair. Oh my God, that's so nice, John. Wow. Oh my pubic hair died.

Yeah. Bobby's wife is, your pubic hair is stuck in my teeth again. What's up on? It's stuck in a teeth. She hasn't seen my pubic hair. A shower, she comes in when I'm sharing, I turn into the corner. Oh. But having like, I'm gonna talk to, I'm gonna talk to my kid about sex.

Just whatever he asks me, I'll be like, dude, you come to me. I'm building up trust now. Better get to him before Louis does. Louis does. He seems to have a Louis son a lot. I know he's heard banging. There's no way. Oh yeah, but it slips in a mobile home without wheels.

Not anymore. You've been to his new house. Yeah, you think that's nice? I mean, that's nice, but it's, I mean, he was in an apartment that was slanted once. It's true. I mean, literally slanted. It was like a five floor walkup that was out there.

It was a five floor walkup that was out there. There was a five floor walkup that was, the building was fucking crooked. Like it went like this. Yeah, you couldn't do a podcast. Yeah, it was pretty, so as a, what he has, I know this house is all right now. No, it's fine, but the like house, closely sleeps to James.

Well, no, the new house in Jersey. It's still not that far. It's not like they're two different floors. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're rich. The second that mind that like, we like, we're sort of like of an age. My parents moved a floor down.

Oh, really? Yeah. We never caught my parents. You never caught your parents banging? No, I didn't. My brother, my name. My mother, coming, whangin' it. Terrible, your parents banging? No, I didn't. My brother might have. I didn't. My mother caught me, wanking it.

Terrible. We had way to open door policy. Did you get caught with her? Really? It was never like addressed, but. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Did your brothers or sisters or what? I have a brother. Yeah, it was very. All bedrooms were closed. Close quarters. Yeah. See, when my parents moved downstairs, I got their bedroom.

Yeah. So I was in the Boston Ballet. so I told them I was you were in the ballet well I was until I was like 16 Wow, that's amazing, but um, so my my dad built a ballet bar and their old bedroom for me I'm not used to for stripping I said, so let's go. Go but because of that, and summer camp, I learned how to like prison jerk, you know, or you're just like real quiet. Well, dude, I did some jerk. You don't know this, a lot of people don't know this.

Yeah, do they not? Yeah. A lot of people don't know this, but I was a camp, I lived with a foster father after I got a rehab. Lesadou, I could, yeah, I could. I loved real. When I got a rehab, I was 17. No, 16, some 16 and a half, maybe 16.

And I went back home, but my mother was still dealing with me like I was a little fucking juvenile punk alcohol drug addict. And I couldn't live with her anymore. It was just too much. We were fighting too much. So I went, I had a, my outreach council was this guy Ken Laz. And he had foster kids. So he said, come live with me. The state will pay you as a, me as a foster kid for you. And I lived with him in Winthrop for three years. And one summer, I think it was the year before I left,

he came to me and said, listen, you got to find a place to live for the summer. I think it was the year before I left, he came to me and said, listen, you gotta find a place to live for the summer. I think it was 17 or 18. And I'm like, he's like, I just, I go out, I'm a member of Camp Hourcrust, a lot of Jewish kids go to camp every summer, sleep away camp. I'm Catholic, we don't do that. You go to camp for the day and you go home.

Yes, yeah. And Jewish kids go away. They owe you guys what a way. Yeah, they went away for the two months. Yeah, fine. I mean, their parents just said, go fuck yourself. Totally, they leave with their curls up. It's, it's not what away. Yeah, they went away for the two months. Yeah, fine. I mean their parents just said go fuck yourself They live with their curls of critic come down. They're not to me. Yeah. I love my kid I could never send Max away For two months. Yeah, it's such a fucking weird

Evil tradition to me. Yeah, you know boarding school kids like I would compete against speech debate Parents would send their kids away forever Yeah, I don't understand that. They would only see them in the summertime. Yeah, I love my, if Max was away for the summer, I would fucking kill myself. I wouldn't be able to do it. And, but anyways, he goes,

you can either work there or you get a good place to live. So I said, what's the highest paying job? And he said, lifeguard. So I went and I got my lifeguard, I literally made it by a second. I took, I went, anyway, he was like literally two, one. And I was like, all right, you're a gastro-lifeguard. And they gave me, so I went to camp out, pressed.

I lived in the camp. He was one of the kids. Shut up. That is such a small world. That's nuts. And I guess I didn't know that I was known. Oh my god. Because back then I was in sober, but I was I was I was I'm very glad that I became chubby though. Because if I stayed that good looking. He was an adonis. You're about to say

I was gorgeous. He was. He had ribs. He had a I believe I've seen like hair bring him up, but I'm seeing him. I believe you. I'm not negating it. I mean don't say that word. He had, uh, I believe I've seen the hair bring them up, but I've seen him. I believe you. I'm not negating it. I mean, don't say that word. He was better looking than Jane. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Yes. Yes. Sorry. You said that. I, but he found this local woman that liked to give hand jobs. Shut up. Yes. And you found her ears after it was my left. He, she was still giving the camp counter hand job. Yes, I was on a canoe and I went out and I found the red head. It's always a red head too, by the way. Shannon, she's

legendary at our camp. She did a full strip tease down in the boat house with a with a boom box and a and a Shannon sounds like a good. Yeah, she sounds like a good. That's me a camp hour Chris. No, it is. Yeah, that's me a camp hour Chris. No, it is. Yeah, that's me a camp hour crest. That's lifeguard. That's a lifeguard. Wow. He's still he had a you know what dude. Incredible. Look at that. That body. That body's under there babe. I mean listen to me. That's me in Juve Hall. Nice. Look at you. You kind of you dressed like my dad used to dress. Yeah. I mean, I those are I didn't have clothes

they gave those to me. Okay. This was Indian. I grew up in darkness. This is Indian casino Bob in high school. I'll get you all these photos after the. You got any Alan the monkeys. I got fucking true Bob Kelly. Oh, there he is. This transitioning Bob. 100%. And this is me, my my stamenchi sang it out Any Roger's in in that one, but so I go to this camp I'm the only Catholic guy there. There's two maybe two other Catholic kids And this is tradition these kids these counselors. They went from little kids to counselor and you know, just circle It's a community it's a whole counselor, and you know, it just circle of life. Oh, yeah, it's a community, it's a whole, yeah.

And I didn't understand it. And I just got on a rehab. Right, what are these kids doing? You're seeing songs, right? What do you even do all day? You're just doing work, see? That was a sports game. That was a sports game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was very jockey. Okay, okay. And I remember, I used to take, I had the little kids. There was a, remember there was a little kid that kind of like, he was felt like you too. Yeah, for some reason this little kid was like. No, many poppin they call them in about many poppin. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm at this camera and I'm like, I'm just out of Juve a couple years rehab. You know, I'm you're the bad boy lifeguard on. Oh, yeah, I love the jacket. Oh, wow. The summertime. But it was all boys. So there was that's why he's in. He found. Yeah, I don't know jacket. Oh wow. In the summertime. But it was all boys. So that's why he had fun. That's shinshan and he found.

Yeah, I don't know if you know this. So I had a 67 Chevy Impala. And he's gay. And that's a great car. That was a Ford door. Maybe you're right. This is gay. Two door would have been fucking me.

But I don't know if you know this, but I had a collection of sunglasses back then from, you know, no, it's just gas station sunglasses. I would go and get different sunglasses and I had a cassette briefcase and I ripped the cassettes out and I put my sunglasses in and I wrote shades. I gave myself a nickname. My fans though. I gave myself the nickname and shades Kelly Every morning I would wake up and I would open up my briefcase and go through and pick out a yeah You can see in the photo gas station hair Yeah, that's one of my shades Kelly that's your that shades Kelly those are women's for sure

I remember I Would have I would go in there and the other little kids would come over what are you wearing today shades? No, and I swear to God it was the oh I'm getting do it look at my Look at my oms is kidding this style just really getting you So I remember I was in a canoe and this girl this chick was there Mm-hmm, and I was like dude. I can't I'm not making a sum with just all these little Jewish kids. I gotta get some. And I got her, she can't, late night after work,

I got her to go into the photography. The photographer was from London. And he had this curly hair and he was like, and I was like, hey, Bobby. And I was like, dude, I met this chick and I used your photography law. So she'll, and he's like, yeah, so she came in. Hey, you can have a shake, okay?

She stripped for us and moved his jacket off. And then, He worked at Dunkin' Donuts. Oh, so she went rich. And one time people went in and she had a soft cast on, if she had Carpool, from the girl, from the girl, everybody else. From the girl, how many hand-doms? well, I took her down to the boat house one day

And I got someone got a radio. Yes, so I hit so I had like five or six Jewish counselors and she came in And I hit the music and they're like, boom, that she did a bigger show you got Yeah, she did a bend. She did a bet that's when we were like I was 15. Oh, so was just a pretty and I got in. And you were there with me though. Where are you? No. No. No, no. I got caught. Oh, that was the next year. So me and my count, my roommate, counselor, who was a shredded guy, Dave, Redhead played water polo for Harvard. Oh, Mandela. Yeah. Okay. Dave Mandela. Yeah. Fucking guy was shredded. I mean, he was in, so I... Sounds like Frances Ellis.

We bonded in the photography thing that night with her dancing. Yeah. And we're sitting there cranking out and all of a sudden my foster dad, Laz comes in. What is going on here? My God. Where did he come from? He, someone rattles out.

So he came in and she had to put her titties back and we had to put our dicks away and he didn't talk to me for the rest. He didn't talk to me for the summer anyways. We had a big fong out because of that. Because he was my foster dad, but he felt guilty having me there and he didn't want to show favoritism. So he just didn't talk to me for the summer. It treated me like anybody else,

but worse actually, I'm not a rehab, I got a year and a half, I'm fucking go a mental, I'm losing my mind, I wish I could find the diarrhea, I had to get a diary and I just wrote in this diary, I wound up putting blankets all around my bed and made a tent because I was isolating. I was in a deep dark depression, a camp hour quiz, because the only man that really cared about me just stopped caring about me in front of all these friends that I didn't know.

And then I got caught with that and they brought us all out on the lawn. No, humiliation. Oh humiliation. Humiliation. And I gotiliation. Oh, humiliation. Humiliation. And I got a big fucking trouble for that. Yeah, I was scary. One really guy should have been like, what's up?

Yeah, we're drinking up at this stuff. He was legendary. It was, yeah. Oh, it was. Oh, the tradition. He had been. Yeah. He went on years after.

I started something. I started something good came of it. Yeah, that party Pupa poop Alaska kicked out of the director's business and when a new guy was like, got it. I was like a counselor in training like a year. C-I-T. Yeah, I must have been 15 or 16.

She came back and my job like was to go find her because it was too. She's a star. You guys birthday. I know I left a map. It was a map with a call I left a map. It was a map with a call. Oh, oh, oh. It must, there's, you just, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go on the back road. And she's not like, just, she was just into hand job.

She's in it, though. Yeah, apparently, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was just into sex. Maybe she was a superhero, and she's like, oh, my wrists were twitching. There are people that found her on Facebook. Really?

Like a few years ago, yeah. Well, I mean, I hope. That was still not in that way. Just like, hey, what's up? I relax. But she was really cool. Yeah, really nice. Like, because the next day you'd see, she'd be like,

hey, Bobby, what's going on? See you later. I love it. Yeah, Ken, the party, Pooper. But I was a council there a long time. So I come years later, and this clock seconds here at the seller But I was doing comedy in Boston. He had gone when I started But all my friends from camp were still coming to my shows when I started and his face would be like on the

Dictority vault. They're like is that our Bobby Kelly doing I know I'm crazy. It was it was it was it was like what's the song you get sang before breakfast every P. A.U. ERC are yes tea power crystal power crest we sing to the Hi stop I'm gonna come No, right my wife hate cuz you know said I'm I'm I'm fucking get laid. Yeah, I'm the shit I just got out of here. I know I'm like I'm I'm I'm fucking get laid. Yeah, I'm the shit. I just got out of Rehob I know I'm sitting there going fucking these nerds Fucking fish for breakfast

Growing up was Jewish and I went to visit her summer camp, which one did she go to? Penbroke shoot it was like in the Berkshires. I think okay. I broke those Shits a lot yeah, we went there one night. I wanted to hook up on those fucking cows. That's what we have the socials with. Yeah, we had a social of you. I think the bus should have a hog. Hembroke is the name of a camp. Yeah, it's also in Pembroke.

It's in Pembroke. I would say in Pembroke. Yeah. Well, that's what you see. That's what you said. That's what I should quit ballet. Everyone shut the fuck up. I'm a fucking idiot. You're doing great.

I grew up in the harsh field, which is a town over there. They had a camp called Marshfield. You know they have a town called Bucket. You have even the heart. I thought you were Milton. Marshfield. I competed against Milton again. I love the boss of Red Sox.

He's not as a town called. I wonder if that's the same town. You know this guy named Paul Ravier? He was from Ravier. He's well-revied. What part of it? Well, the way you hold that mic fucking thing. I'm an idiot. I'm just going to miss.

Relax. Really that chick from the camp hour, Chris. Oh, God, man. Lem, so what part of Boston were you from? Well, I'm from Marshfield. Marshfield, okay. And my dad grew up in Dorchester, and my mom grew up in Weimus. I was in, when I was in rehab,

one of the kids from Marshfield. The only time I ever knew for you and this kid, he would get caught jerking off like eight times a day. I swear to God, he would just leave group and he would just go jerk off to the point where they're like, you have to wait, you can't jerk off anymore. Like it's not good, but you, I mean, all they long, and then they caught him fucking the salami.

We had gotten meat from Cisco, like they would give us free food, you know what I mean? And we got salami, he cut it in half and he dug a hole in it. And he was in kitchen duty that week. And they caught him fucking it. At least there was a bottom. They got big and you would have just all eaten it.

Yeah, but we had to go into a group for like two hours about sexual conduct and shit. Because it's fucking weird. When people were like, hey, like you can't like jerk off all day. Like what would he say? Was he like, oh no, I have. He was sitting going, oh, he was weird't like jerk off all day like what would he say was you like oh no? I have he was sitting going no he was weird I know I know I just know I know this promise on his dick. I know No seriously he was like yeah, I know I can't I know but it's interesting. It's a multiplying

It's actually really oily That's what I got fuck in a sink What you did yeah, I got no well that you. What? You did? Yeah, I got. No. Well, you know the sinks in the bathroom where it's at. Yeah. Yes, you do. Whatever I say, actually, you just say yes.

Well, you know, the big counters with the sink in the middle. So you put your hand like that. So the inside of your hand is, the open part is inside the sink. So then you lie on top of it and you just fuck your hand. Well, if you lie on top of anything, you can fuck it. No, because your dick will hit the, come out the other end of it.

So my dick, when it comes out, it's in the sink. So it doesn't hit anything. Do you understand? The filth in the sink. Hitting the tip of your dick. What's in the, it's in the sink, so it doesn't hit anything. Do you understand? The filth in the sink, hitting the tip of your day. What's in the, what's in it? Is your, is your dick in the sink hole? Yeah, so, okay, so here's the sink hole, right? Look at, no, not the hole.

Okay. Just the round part. That's still, so you, so when you, when you, when you, my dick is not this big, but I know, I know. Is anybody have a battery? Can we just take the battery? my take is not this big but I know I know is anybody of a battery Can we just take the Picture

Yeah 90s Yeah, these good yeah Yeah 90s a good one day is fucking so accurate it makes me want to fuck a punch my Deck Yeah, I fucked the sink Anyways, I got it I got it I got it no one understands me when I tell them that I did that. I invented a new way of having sex. Yeah, but it didn't catch on. So there has to be, huh?

It didn't catch on. So there doesn't catch on because there's no, there's no flaws. You lie, the sink has to be in the middle. Okay. And you have to have long enough that you can lie on the counter and you lie down. I wish I was in shape. This is when he's building a house and he's telling the architect. He's like, no, that it has to be right in the middle

so I can do this. Did you turn the clock on? Oh, thanks Joe. Thanks Joe. Slide it back down. I appreciate that buddy. Joe Russell, Joe List. Joe Russell everybody.

And Nicole, hi Nicole. Hey what's up? Nice. I was gangfests. Okay, let's get into Skankfest. I want to hear about that roast. Okay. It was, I tried to talk about this on Calthar and Kelly yesterday, and I just, it, it,

being on stage at the end of it with These guys who I love I love Lewis. I love Ari Joe list Dan Soda You know, I love Shane, you know, even though I haven't known him as long. I just love that kid from the get go. I just Just fucking great kid and Zach from the get go. I just, just fucking great kid and, Zach, dude, I love Zach's just a fucking good guy. All good guys, Tony, Tony Hingecliff, you know, I'm sitting there looking out and all these guys,

a lot of these guys got canceled. Doug Stan hopes there, all these young bucks, the three amigos fucking, Fini, Canon and and Sagalow, and the garbage boys, and Kim Condent, why love? I'm sitting there looking out at all these pieces of shit that have been canceled,

and the industry has said no to, and the festivals have said not you, and I'm looking out and I'm seeing thousands of fucking fans, and they are having a good time. And nobody is worried about what they're saying or how they're saying it. There's no industry that you're getting nothing but making the fans happy and making each other laugh.

I was like, you know, the whole thing is comedy dead is, is it over? Is, and I'm like, it is so fucking alive because of these young comedians, Lewis and Christine and Rebecca and all the shit that they've done and all the crap that people have taken like Ari, Tony and these people have been dug

and all of us sticking up for them. Lewis conceptualized Skankfest while we were dating. Lewis, you're fucking pussy and something to do with this. I'm taking full credit. I just think he's f- Skankfest. Do you think he came up with that? I think it was amazing. I thought it was amazing.

It looked awesome. It was really, really. Really bad FOMO. I knew I was going to have FOMO. I was supposed to be there. What FOMO. I knew I was gonna have FOMO. I was supposed to be there Why why the fuck were you not there? I ended up opening for Nordnet Caroline's And there was just you know, it just was the right decision for me. Why? Just like a lot of different reasons, you know, I wanted to stay here my mom just had surgery

I like being I don't want to travel. I was, it was just felt right. You know when you just are like, yeah, you should do this. Yeah, but all of Lewis's girls that he's fucking come to you with it. I know, I know, I know. I accept one. I know, a big black hole. I mean, what the fuck?

I mean, Rose jokes you ruined from not going? I'm sorry. The Rose was amazing. I'll go, I mean, Joe list fucking killed. Yeah. He's so funny. I did great. I had some really funny ones.

I'm not gonna say I murdered it. I did great. I saw one clip. It looked like you were killing. No, I mean, dude, the fans are so supportive. It's fucking awesome. The last great I saw was Voss's. My favorite thing that I saw.

This one, dude. Better than me. I mean, everybody fucking killed it. I think Kim Zach was fucking great Everybody Shane are he did some weird fucking he was just he was so he was roasting people that weren't there It was so funny to me. It was making me laugh It was funny to me. It was making me laugh. He's so silly.

Dan J was great. J had such a great, it was so unique and fun and the crowd. I mean, you gotta look out. There's a sea of people. There was a fence. There was, the whole street was filled with people. And there was so much awful shit being said in outdoor festival and everybody had a fucking amazing time.

I couldn't believe it. The fans are fucking the best. Yeah. And they get comedy and they get podcasting. Tony Hinchcliffe, fucking amazing time. I couldn't believe it. The fans are fucking the best. And they get comedy and they get podcasting. Tony Hinchcliffe, I think it was one of my favorite jokes. That kid's so good. His confidence is off the fucking charts. I mean, really man, he had me laughing.

He said a joke. He says, New York comics is so fucking bitter. And he said, you guys are mad Joe Rogan, you know, that we're all famous. You had David Tell. You're all, you're, you're thinking to give him a podcast? And he goes, the greatest comic walking earth. And you guys just let him slowly go to obscured.

I, whatever it was, I'm killing the joke. Fuck it. He was a kill. I mean, really, really just a beast of a time. All day long, too. Just keep going back. Look, for me, I'm 51. I can't do a two o'clock show in the afternoon, a six and a 10. I can't, I just can't do it. You know what I mean? I don't have it. But that being said, every podcast, I walked on Aries, Miss Pat, Voss, and Bob Sagitt, we were just, I mean, do it. That's awesome.

I wanna watch a lot of this stuff, you know what I mean? Voss called Miss Pat, a couch. Shut up. I almost fucking, I almost hit the floor. I was hit him. But you can't, well, if you did that somewhere that somewhere else to be like, oh, you know, Problematic miss Pat was fucking hilarious So if you take the industry out of it and just

Here's what I got out of it is That's why I feel like they the industry drew the line in the sand and we can no more and we have to industry drew the line in the sand and we can no more and we have to now you don't get to fuck you get to do that with acting right you can do that with TV yeah you can do it with sports you don't fucking do that with comics yeah comedy's jazz punk rock and this festival was like yeah fuck you okay now we don't need you for festivals either right we don't need we don't need you picking us I mean they paid everybody, they get everybody at hotel, they flew everybody out there,

and they gave them money, and they gave them good shows. It's like, that's the Lewis Gomez, and those people. That was Jay Gomez. I can't tell you how many people, like, yeah, just like just of the people that I follow, like Fini and those guys just saying it was the best weekend of Always, it's always great. It was so fucking fun.

For in love, something like that. Yeah, so when, you know, when you, I feel bad for the comics that picked the wrong side, when they picked the industry side and the broke side and the pill of the correct side. Yeah, but that's like one thing about Lewis that you can tell is just because Karen and Christina were there, they were at odds at one point, they're happy to bring people back. Yeah, because he was banging them.

Oh yeah. I don't know. I have no idea about that. But like, yeah, no, I feel like, you know, but I'm not saying. You just did. Anyways, but yeah, take a guy like Shaney, you know, people would think that SNL would be the end all be all for him

But he's probably bigger than he would have been he's doing stuff on his own He's carried away. I don't know his show that he does who's pretty is for the audience getting of course. Yeah. Yeah. No He's the point is it's the fans. It's like it's history can make choices and cherry pick and like like a group of Unfunny people can decide, like, what a funny show is, like all day long. But like, the fans are the one who are gonna decide whose t-shirts are fucking buying, whose shit they're buying into,

what they're listening to, what they're going to. But it was just good to do something without having to ask or be chosen or be, you know, I mean, look, I love Montreal Festival. I don't give a fuck. I love those people who run it. And I get what I understand what they have to do. Check it.

And I know the people that run the Moon Tower Festival. I get it. I know what you got to do. You have to bring a swath of fucking people. You got to sell tickets. You got to get big names. You got to get big names. You got to sell tickets,

but you also have to get a everybody. You have to include everybody. Right, because they're going to look at the land of them. You like, this is a pie chart of how many gays, how many black people, how many women. I get it. And it's like, yeah, we did that without having, we picked funny people. There was funny gay people. There was funny, you know, women, there was funny, we didn't have to, you know, just pick people.

You know, we just, I thought it was just awesome. That way they, you know, just pick people, you know. I thought it was just awesome. That way they, you know, like, we'll do it ourselves. We're at an age where you can just do it yourself. I mean, they live streamed it. They didn't, you know, I mean, the guy made a lot of money. I mean, God damn it. I'm hoping his bonus is, no, but it was a fucking, it was such a good time.

And this is what I love about those guys. All week long, when you bumped into Jay, about those guys all week long when you bumped into Jay when you bumped into Lewis when you bumped into Even Natalie and Christine and Rebecca you having a good time? You know that's all they cared about you having a good time. Yeah, all they cared about was you having fun? Yep We did I went out to dinner Micraseen love that guy by the way. I love him so much My best honey. What a fucking great guy. Yeah,, he, at the last minute, I called them up because I need a roast joke.

That's something that sucked. It was, oh, I had a bunch. I should have sent you. You cock. I said I'm the Ari. Why? You didn't mean use them. Cause I guess it's okay to say now,

Ari was gonna give me some of his time. They didn't book me on the roast, but Ari was gonna like call me up. Uh, fuck. I, cause I'm, look, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that was, that was everybody was stressing. Yeah. Yeah, because, you know, I'm on the road, dude. I've been on the road. I was on the road with Louis doing shows every night and then I came back.

I had to go away for the weekend and I come back at football, I got a fucking Jiu-Jitsu. I got to go do shows, I got to do podcasts. I got to find fucking right jokes. I'm a stand-up comic. I'm a goddamn national headline treasure. Hell of. And I got to go and fucking sit there and work

for Louis J Gomez. No way. But I got a couple of people to help me out, write some jokes. And I pulled it off. I just wish I had one. But then they worked you all weekend. That's what sucked. It's like Saturday had three shows. And then Sunday had a show before the roast.

And then two podcasts. It's like, dude, I wish I had a day to sit down and format and get. And you don't know, you gotta kind of read through roast jokes a few times. And then you'll, I've taken that joke and this joke, and that's me. That's you, that's you, but if I take it and add them together, I can say that.

Because you have to say what you can do. And then you gotta listen during roast too, because people will say similar jokes, and you're like, fuck, that sounds a lot like this one. That's where I got fucked up. I did it, someone did a joke. I had a joke about J that nobody works harder than your stool. And someone did it. I just bad about you.

No, I said about him. They could have said a lot of fat on that. And I fucked it up. I was like nobody works harder than the stage. It's a fucking nerve wrecking. It's the first time you're saying unless you like work shut up your own jokes. Like that's the first time you're saying. And now it was it was it's a skill. It's a skill.

And everybody's good on it. And I can fucking I can do it. But I need I need to fucking a certain way. Racine helped me had a lot though. He came up with me and we worked through shit and he was like, he would say no. Yeah, that's no, no. He and I have a roast battle online.

He said one of the meanest things about me. He goes, Karen looks like, her body looks like a boy that survived the potato famine and the face of a woman who survived it. I wanna call him right now. Do you mind if I call him? I'm gonna see you in the picture me doing this as a lifeguard. Yeah, I do.

See if we can catch dead breastfeeding. See if we can get baby bed mid-snack. Oh my God, my wife's my, hello. Hi, what are you doing? I'm on the podcast, honey. Oh, cool. I thought you were driving home. No, I'm doing two podcasts today. Then I have a meeting that I'm driving home.

I remember I told you four times. Yeah, but I thought it's like three thirty four o'clock and said you'd be home for dinner. I'm doing it. I said, you don't listen to me. I said I'm doing a 12. Then I'm doing a three. And then I have a meeting at five. I'll be home for dinner around like six o'clock.

Oh, I didn't hear that part. No, you didn't listen. Can you admit to me right now, please, that you didn't listen to me? No, I always listen. What the fuck was that, pause? I'm gonna be looking at a hustler with one of my guests, she's a comedian. She's in it. Is that cool?

Yeah, I don't care. Oh my wow. They still link that. What? Poin omega-zines? Yeah. Yeah. We're old, honey. I know. Let's fool around this week. Can we? I'll bring this home. You can look at it, too. All right. All right. shave your legs. All right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Get your legs from the thigh down, not

just from the knee down either. What is your breakfast? Hi, dad. All right. I love you. I'll be home. I'll be home soon. Bye. Bye. That started adversarial and ended very nice. No, from the beginning when she laughs. She still loves you so much. It's so cute. Best Boston accent. It's really cute. She's an accent. Yeah. Yeah. So you said, you know, Madonna. Can we get a fucking blue? I'm gonna say this. I'm fucking 430. 5, you know you'd be driving who if 4000 on camera see I got to fucking hold the phone up from my fucking shit goddamn

fucking network chiperson studios where is that that's nice round table it's got the stinks are you hungry scene yeah he's not answering though. What a piece of gauze. What if I calm? Oh, wait, wait. Oh, you're calm. Okay, yeah, you calm.

See if he picks up. We'll fucking smoke that for that. If he picks up, oh, we'll get him something. Give me the phone if you pick up. Oh, okay. Put it up to the phone. Oh, my God. You motherfucker. How dare you not pick up to the phone. Oh, my God. You motherfucker.

How dare you not pick up my fucking phone? You cock sucka. How dare you know? You let me. I call you and you fucking push me to voicemail. And this fucking whore calls you. I'm dead. It must be important.

No, it's not important. How do you know? You motherfucker. Look, I know the police. How do you know? You motherfucker. Look, I know the police beat. That would turn me on. I'm the P. My friends. I understand. So a piece of ass calls you up and you gotta pick up.

Oh, that's my friend. Oh, if it was just her calling, I would have, I would have, I thought we were friends, Mike. I thought we made a bond. You said you were gonna send me sauce. That's what? You said you were gonna send me sauce. That's what? You said you were gonna send me sauce.

You didn't respond to me when I said I was gonna send you sauce. I'm busy. Oh, how I see what it is. He was icing you back. You icing me back, motherfucker? Yeah. All right, first of all, I want your sauce. That sounds gay.

That sounds gay. But I want you to send me your special marinara that you make. I will. Still sound. I'm gonna send you my stuff. Do you want to mail it to me or do you want to bring it over? Whatever you want. Alright, mail it. I would say the next time you're at the seller, but yeah, listen. I was trying to get my kid to take a nap so I was like it's gonna be loud if I take up the phone but then Karen called it. I was like it must be did you know she was on the podcast? I

Had a well. Yeah, I was like probably what he did not figure it out. He figured it out. He did not figure it out He's lying. He was lying. He doesn't know how to get enough to lie. You're lying I don't I don't I can't I don't think I've ever lied about anything really Yeah, you think John Fisher's do you think John Fish is funny? You know, I think he's I listen dude, I don't know if you fall very well I think he does what he does very well It does really does very well. You know, it does really well.

I don't like that. I like everybody. Hi, buddy. I'll talk to you, Lynn. I want your sauce. I mean, I want the marinara sauce you make on my face. I'll talk to you later, buddy. Bye, Mike.

Kiss baby, Ben. That's funny. What a funny guy. That was funny. Yeah, it was, it was, you, I can't believe you weren't there, though. I mean, you, I get, I was, would you go to Skankthus? I don't know.

That'd be fun, you'd be fun, every fun. I mean, Nate goes, right? He didn't go, but he has. He's gone before, but I don't know. I don't know if he'd go now. Maybe, I don't know, he's famous enough. If it lined up, it's like a calendar thing probably, you know? I think everybody's gonna go next year.

Yeah, it's gonna turn into, it everybody's gonna go next year. Yeah, yeah It's gonna turn it's gonna turn into you keep getting bigger and a lot of a lot of people said no this year Really just cuz of COVID and travel about shit. I don't know why yeah, I would love to I can make something up Man because they were afraid. Oh, I don't know right, but a lot of LA guys said no really Yeah, I mean maybe they're like those homies. No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know right but a lot of LA guys said no really Yeah, I mean maybe they're like those homies. No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know why they said no They probably had shit to do but I think next year because of the optics What optics because of what it looked like on social media? Yeah, everyone would go everybody's like ah fuck me I should have went and now the fans are gonna all go next year

I think they should do it in Vegas They should do it at the old on the strip the old on Fremont Street. I know exactly where they should do it and Yeah, that's what it should be done next year. It should be on the strip Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I was supposed to judge the naked rose. I didn't go, because I didn't want to look at little dicks. That's what I heard Natalie said. There was a bunch of micro penises. Yeah, I was like, micro penises.

You should have not just fucking... Women? Give them all. Far away. I don't like when girls judge small dicks. It's like, I have a grower, not a shower. Right, I don't care. I really don't care about dicks eyes at all.

Small dicks, different than micro. If you can make me come, if we can figure out how to make me come. Stop looking me in the eye. You're making me come. Let me look at John. Go ahead, say whatever you're gonna say. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Then whatever you're gonna do with your thing, to make it come. You know what I mean? If that means like fucking me and I can't feel it, whatever, like we can do that for a little while. Right. It doesn't bother me.

Yeah, well that's good. You're a fucking, you're a good girl. You're a good person inside. I was also born with my vagina shut. I don't know what that means. Faginal fusion. So my mom had a rub like a steroid on me from like very early memories that I can remember until it opened up. I'm sorry. I still don't know what you mean.

Like a sweet jacket. The walls were like fused together and then they slowly opened up. So what the fuck? What is that from drugs? It happens. I think it's a two percent thing. It's not drugs. I'm gonna do my, my, my, my dad was like, how can we glue it shut fuck I what is that from drugs and happens I think it's a two percent thing it's so my dad was like how can we glue it shut before she's even born my my mother sniff glue maybe this will get to her stupid pussy sure wasn't your father just gluing your snatch that when you're You get some album. You say she rubbed stones on you pussy. What is the steroids? Oh, steroids. Why do I say starts and my head I just saw with a rock like a green rock. That's what they would do with some cultures.

We we we we we gooey gooey make this pussy like newy. Sorry. Um, so it was what happens if they don't do that it just stays shut forever. I mean it'll probably it becomes an armpit. No, they just do anal. Probably if I will find it to be cummer some at some point right and sometimes they have to do surgery. So does that make your vagina small? Um, I've been told by 75. 70 cents. It's in the book. The middle of the article I list them in alphabetical order and their TV credits.

Shout out. Shout out. Shout out to all the guys. You just fucked a lot of guys in this business. They're still opening for Norton. I love it. I love it. I bet you did. Want to go for a steak?

We did. We went to Carmine. So we had a blast. I I I I I We did we went to Carmine to be the black. I get to be careful what I say on the fucking show. I I

I'm not really good. No, It's really good. That's good right? It's probably what he's going to look like after Christmas. I'm No, I love knowing my missing. I got a calm.

My best friend. It is sexy. I got a calm on column. It's my best friend. It just takes to be. I got a column on this. It's screened by animation last night. He voiced one of the parts who's going to come. But then he didn't. OK, I do want to talk about that too. You have an album. Yeah.

And a special. It'll be out as a video. Yeah, special. Just call the special. I guess. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just one screen, one video a special video. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just one one screen, one video, one camera.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fucking special, baby. Not so it's not really special. It's not special. It's not special to me. Yeah. You know, you know, for comedy, though, you don't really need. Yeah, that's why I'm still excited about it. Yeah, you don't know. Yeah. I mean, as long as the shit's funny. Yeah. I mean, all the stuff I watch on Instagram and Facebook, it's usually a club camera. Yeah. And they just did a close up. And it's funny. I fucking love it. It was probably the best long set of my life. No shit. Yeah. Is that what you call headlining a long set? Fucking

middle line. I mean, I'm sure I'm like crushed like 10 minutes or 15 minutes, but like it was sustained the whole time. Right. That's great. What's it called? Hinged now. What's it about? Is it clean? I have two tracks at the end that are not but otherwise. Yeah, so majority of all impressive to me. Yeah. Clean comic I can't it's so clean But I because Seinfeld was clean. But I because Seinfeld was the owner,

Mozilla called me on Monday before the Wednesday taping. It asked me if it was all right. If Seinfeld did a set beforehand. So everyone was just in like the best mood. It was fantastic. Yeah, because they just saw bad comedy. So like, wow, thank God this funny guy came on. I didn't. I So like wow thank god this funny guy come on didn't You know

Uber I mean what's going on? I mean I don't take them but people take them I see them with no more cabs You should be a see yellow See it gray and block now do sign fell to noten hanging out You should be a CEO. Oh, see it? Gray and Blanc. Now, do sign felled in Norton hanging out? I know. You didn't press it. I didn't press it.

Ah, I love that new cab joke. But see, fiends ask. I think she's in to me. I don't know. Is she like to me? I don't know. Probably fucking hates me. Ah, you never know.

She looks like a young, young slut. I stay away from those girls. I did search you small. Okay. Yeah, man, so I'm psyched. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. And so, but the thing with the clean thing, it's, you can make so much more money and I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it.

I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. I'm psyched. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Um, and so, but the thing with the clean thing, it's you can make so

So much more money and people don't realize that Gary Gellman has that great story about that beat on the thank show Yeah, we're leaned in and commercial break the Leno is a guy I kind of did my career after you clean and you know, and he's like, yeah, fuck that. It's just more money. Fuck it I love to do dirty, but it's fucking yeah, and he was like what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck that. It's just more money, fuck it. I love to do dirty, but it's fucking more. And he was like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Broga's heart. His religion came from me now.

Like Jesus going, yeah, I'd fuck these bros, but you know, I had a little money and not fucking him. It's like, what? My dick taped my leg right now. Yeah, it wasn't. I didn't make water. No, why? What are you fucking idiots?

There was wine over here and there was water over there. I just had to switch it up. I didn't do. He's fucking more and I believe everything. Yeah. Yeah, the guy with the blind guy, he can see, I put hot sauce in his eyes before the fucking. Anyways.

No, you just have to be genuine to what you are. That's what it is. And you are that. Yeah, pretty much you, Lenny. But funny. You gotta be funny. Yeah, dude, there's clean guys that are corny. Yeah, and I think that's what helps being in the city.

Can't be corny in the city. No, you know, you can't be corny some sort of edge. Can't be corny at the seller or any of the shows because everybody's here is a killer or a young lion trying to fucking get some meat. Yeah. And that's why I'm so afraid of moving out of the city. Yeah, I was thinking about moving to Tampa

or going somewhere else. And I'm like, because I could, I headline. I really need to do spots. I can work on my shit, but. I feel like you'll always stay hungry. I don't, I just don't want to give up my spot. I'm not going to leave New York until I'm like that line with one eye, you know, just limping in the other line

just biting my ass. Lenny had some skeleton Halloween picture. You're just like me in 2070 at the seller. Yeah, it's because you stay sharp. You stay sharp if you stay in the city. You stay sharp if you stay in the city. But you're relevant. Other comics that are like,

it's really feels good with another comic like Lenny or somebody or Lou Louis or even Norton will do that jokes good. Yeah, you know, that's a good joke. Yeah. That makes you like, okay, I know it's good. Yeah. Yeah. And plus you do somebody's spots. Yeah. That's what I love doing like the seller on a Friday and four or five spots. And you like you do that new chunk in the middle. And it's just a thought by the fifth spot, it's a joke, and by Saturday night, it's just fucking done and it's murdering.

Plus, you've been working there for over 20 years. So it changed a lot, though. And the last couple of times I've worked the city, it's very young, very female, and you know, females, they fuck it real and the whole thing, right? I mean, yeah, female fucking just take fun and step on it. That's when I go short. Oh my god girls on stage by taking a lap Another whores and looking out and see if females in the crowd

Oh I have a joke where I say dogs we're just like kids and slim. I have a joke where I say dogs are just like kids, except you can hit them. I think I heard that joke. Girl, I'm kidding. I'm like, I'm gonna keep the shit on my kids. Oh, I hate girls.

They really are just party pool. Sometimes when they get together, when they're in a two group of girls, then they can all, the judge're going to a group of girls, then they can all the judgment just takes them over. Well one will fucking ruin you. Yeah, but one will ruin you. But guys will be annoying too.

Group of guys will be annoying, but you can be like, shut the fuck up. I'm gonna fucking kill you. And they'll be like, I'm sorry. You can. Oh, I just like. Sorry, sorry, John. Shut up, I'm gonna fucking sue you. Is that better?

Shut up or I'm gonna call my dad's friend. And do I know all the balancer's names? I'm just like Ryan. It's just, that's the one thing about Skankfest. There was a lot of dicks. I mean, there was six chicks. I mean, six chicks. Lewis had been inside a lot of it. I mean, there was six chicks. I mean, six chicks. Lewis had been inside of all.

Lewis fucked a lot of chicks, man. I mean, dude. You know what, dude? Lewis, Lewis bangs. I mean, Lewis bangs. Hey, it is. Woof, a kid. It's a lot of hey, you're here too I was in a I was in one gremot was like uncomfortable. I left I was like, well, there's a lot of I know yeah, but like it has an unannounced event at Skangfast Just fight breaks out between six checks. What's wrong with them? Oh, Lewis That would be such a funny show to have all the girls median girls, the female comics that Lewis has been living to do a show together. Yep. And he could host it. No, he has to sit there and take it.

He's not allowed to talk. He can't talk. They duct tape his mouth and time to a chair. And then suck him off. I'm sorry. I'm like, he's going to find a way to come to it no matter what. Such a piece of shit. Love him. Such a, Lewis had a good joke about Jay. He says, they such a fat fuck.

You know, all his gloves have fingers before he starts his meals. That's a great joke. That's really good. No, no, no. Here's the thing though, that whole magic act is gone. You know what I mean? We all know just the way it is. So it's who, you know, just look, you get help people help you.

Let's see. I write my own roast jokes. That's why they stink. Exactly. I mean, Tony does. Tony is really good at it. Yeah, it's funny. It really bothers me as a Corvette with a license plate says, I roast. Stop.

Yeah, well, I could have the same one. I feel like I'm a barbecue pit. I was going to do that as it roasts joke to myself. Got him. Don't. Don't drop the mic. I roasted myself. That would have been a great idea if I just roasted myself and I took all the jokes away.

Yeah. Bobby burned one. Bobby burned two. Just 10 minutes of fat jokes on me. And then you go up up, I can't do that one. Yeah, boggle rolls, because you guys crossed mom. I had a good one of, Ari, I said, what was really, I said, I said, it was so, there must be so bad they took your

show away and give it to Roy Wood, Jr. How, how it must hurt someone taking, taking something that you create a, a black guy taking something that you created away, they went right Lewis. Moses. No, his babies, his babies mama. It's being raised by a black dude. Oh, really? I didn't know that.

Yeah, Eddie, I love him. Good friends with the guy. Such a good guy. We were at his Halloween party. Me and Eddie were in the back by a fire pit smoking cigars. He smokes cigars, I smokes cigars, talking sports, how hysterically laughing at each other. And Lewis kept walking out and being like, I bet cigars, I smokes cigars, talking sports, how hysterically laughing at each other.

And Lewis keep walking out and be like, I bet. The eyes. We have nothing, Kamat Lewis, you're soon as shed with a girl that weighs 86 pounds and your angry sister smoking weed squatting down. I have nothing in common with you, all right? Eddie has a job.

We're talking sports. Yeah, And he has social skills. He's kind of charming. Yeah. He's making eye contact for more than two seconds. Yeah. He eats with a fork. He loses a knee and with all. Great. I mean, great part. But Chris Skankfest was fucking a man. Yeah. I can't believe you weren't there though. I had severe felma. I watched everybody. What does that mean? Fear of missing out. You say that, know that I'm 51.

I think you can get pho-mo into your renec- I will never say pho-mo. But insert is okay. Insert is fantastic. No pho-mo. No, I'm not a pho-mo. I mean, I said that when I when I told Rebecca and Christina like I'm really bonds, you know, this wasn't

obviously an easy choice, but I mean I'd look really fun. I can't wait for the next one. Hopefully the one. This is a good one now. The next one was fucking. I know it looked rad as hell. It was. Oh, Kim and Ali McCoffsky. I messed with Ali McCoffsky. I was like I'm so proud of you for getting in there. Fucking Kim

terrifies me. What did they do? They fought. They fought. They fought. Oh wow. Who won? Kim. Kim won. The Puerto Rican linebacker.

Who won? Are you kidding? I have message to him. I'm like, well, you're okay. I'm like, I hope you didn't try. Get out of there before she kills you. Yeah, Kim's a badass. Yeah.

Oh, that's fucked up. I didn't see any of those fights. No, I didn't. No, I was writing roast jokes. Give me fucking homework. I just want to see the roast. What are they going to stream? A streaming now.

Oh, it is a game. Get it somewhere. Steal it. Yeah. Probably I'd write it. I know. Um, what else? What else was I going to fucking talk about?

Micah said she had a good time, dude. You see Micah Fox? I saw her on the plane there. Oh really? I saw I didn't know who she was. I didn't see. I saw her on the plane there. I didn't know it was.

Yeah. She had her mask on. And then she didn't. She was behind me, but she was with some guy. Her boyfriend. And then they took off. She took off and didn't. Because I was supposed to.

And I didn't want to be like, hey, where you guys, you know, you want to go to the place together? Oh, yeah. I didn't want to be weird. I know. guys? You know, you want to go to the place together? Oh, yeah, I didn't want to be weird. I know I know you I know her from back in the day. I know you molded her. She's funny too. She did the guys we fucked panel. I was supposed to do it, but she did and said that look great.

Everything looked awesome. Everything looked packed. It looks like there was like just crowds. Oh my god. Everywhere YKWD was fucking standing her only. It was the regs. That's coming out. I think next week on Patreon. I did Shane's podcast, that was fucking great,

never did this show. Ari's podcast, me and Vos, I was supposed to do the box, and I was like, dude, I'm not going, it's 90 degrees in there. It's just a list of comics just going up. And I was like, I'm not doing it. I go, you have to just come up with me. And there's a guy right.

So me and him went up together. That was a treat for the crowd. I mean, it was, it fucking filled the room. And then I was seeing, was sticking his dumb head out. And I go, what are you doing? And he shut the door and I go, Mike, and he opened the door. I go, come up.

So he came up with us. Nice. And he, he door and I go Mike and he opened the door I go come up. Yeah, so he came up with us nice And he he so mean he got so he whatever we said he would just say something Five times more terrible. Yeah, because he has like a like a tinge of autism in him. Oh, that takes him to the darkest places He yeah, it was so funny though because he was like, yeah, fuck the Jews. And I was just, I was on the floor. What's the box? What do you mean? The box.

The box used to square box. So when you go to Skankfest and the, the South, there was you, like this big fucking block of warehouse. And you go into the first one and there's like a storefront, a roof deck, and then a room, a big room with a stage and chairs. Then next to that is the little box. So you have to go out the door and then the front and there's like a little black box theater.

And then next to that is the warehouse, a big warehouse. And then there the big green room with all the drinks and, you know, and then around the back of that is a big parking lot where they had the boxing gym and the big outdoor stage. So there was four stages and the boxing match and they blocked. They blocked off the streets so you needed a badge to get into all these places and man it was fucking fun. I can't, I'm telling you man. I had a blast. It was so cool. And it sucks because I hope that money, once money gets into it, can we not have him? Yeah, once you get sponsors and people who are to protect instead of it just being like I don't think Lewis will I mean you hope But we'll see I don't know she's underwear might all of a sudden turn

Real liberal Lewis is on stage in the parking lot using the N word I mean And there's just a street I'm just the fucking camera me going He can say it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just the fucking camera me going. I was just going to wipe people getting in trouble for laughing at it.

No, he didn't. I'm kidding. This crazy. You what you believe that? 100%. Yeah. I, I, I almost maybe wish I was using drugs. That's the other thing for me because I don't drink. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was using drugs again. That's the other thing for me, because I don't drink, I'll smoke pot or whatever,

but sometimes that type of environment can be a little challenging for somebody who doesn't drink. I thought you were gonna say triggering. I didn't. But it is. Well, I went to a meeting. We, a couple of us got together, known as...

While you were there. Yeah, we made it, we made one. That's great. See, that would have been helpful for me. Yeah, it was, we just got together. It was like, look, because it's, I was talking to one of the guys like, dude, this is tough for me because it's everywhere.

It's everything I like to do. It triggers all my addictions. One spot you're like, because they can do it and they're happy and they're finding their performing and like, why can't I do it? Yeah, we can't. I have a mental illness.

I have addiction problems, etc. etc. Right. I told somebody had somebody at star for interrupting you. No, it's I I've a tattoo that's just don't serve me Yeah, yeah, and some kid had a bracelet that said don't serve me that was there and you like sent me a picture I thought I was gonna see you I have my bracelet on oh really I'm an asshole covered into your skin like a real person I'm gonna call. Carved into your skin like a real person. You made a bracelet, you're a grown man. Where'd you find those little letters?

Did you rob a girl? Coming that out of a juice mouth. Carved into their skin. No. How bake it in? Jesus Christ. That's right. So much.

So much? Are we triggered yet? No, but I, I, we, I actually, I think it was sad that we did it. So it was like I just was right back into my shit. So I was fine. Yeah, but there is a lot of drugs going on. People just, I saw one person that I knew.

I'm not going to tell you it was, there was just like looking. And then I said their name and they went, like, like mushrooms, acid, ecstasy, pick one. Which I don't know what he wanted. Yeah, when they turned into androids, were like, yeah, they stopped making facial but what do you want? Yeah, when they turn into androids, where they start making facial expressions, they turn into... Yes.

Hi. I know. I was like, shit, man, this is like the fucking the movie aliens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, Robert. I remember I used to do drugs and I wouldn't be able to control my body's temperature.

So they'd be like, how are you? I'm like, I'm hot, I'm cold. I have no idea. I have no idea. Hold me, don't touch me. hold me, don't touch me. Yeah, there's a certain time where I had to go back to the hotel. Yeah, that's it.

Because it's where there was one the last night, there was a guy, me and Vos had going back to the hotel. And it's like time to go because like, blah, blah think he heard his knee. There was just blood on his knee He's got two drinks and he's like guys, and I'm like, hey man. I'm trying to I gotta tell him something He's like, okay, and he just I go dude. It's personal like it's I can't yeah, man Go ahead Don't mind me and I was like you gotta go You gotta move. He's like, ah come on, mind me. And I was like, you gotta go. You gotta move.

He's like, ah, come on, you know. And I was like, what? Yeah, just wait. Like there was no reason with this fucking dude. So me and Vaughn's kinda went down here and we just waited for the guy, almost 20 minutes from the walk to Blox. And then we got to the hotel and he was out front sitting.

So I literally ran from the corner to the front. Do I ran by him? Me, ran, ran by him because I didn't want to fucking. Hey, he fell over from the inertia. You fuck. Yeah, we're gonna do. It's a good word. It's a good word.

That's a, that's called the smart fat Joe. The smart fat joke. Anyways, I'm sorry you missed it. I had to decide you were going to be there. I was. I was out, you know, I had post-realism on the lineup. I think I... How come Norton didn't go?

Yeah. It didn't work out for him either. No, well, yeah, Caroline. Yeah. Yeah, I wish he went to. It's like he would have had such a good time there. We would have had fun, yeah. Yeah. Well got you guys dating. What do you mean we? I'm just just the fact that you brought us both up. No, we're not dating. Okay.

Um, oh, I just can't make any more eye contact. I guess who's singing now? No, I like him, or friends. Yeah, I'm sad. I see, I wouldn't care if that rumor got started because it's untrue, so it would be genuinely funny to me. Yeah, but no one should have been there. Fuck Caroline's, you should have canceled. You should have been there.

You know, it's just like, it was so much fun, me, him, and Vosk. We like the same shit going to dinner after. What skankfest did they do like a reboot of like tough crowd didn't they? The last one. That was in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, yeah.

That was a surprise. That was sick. Where they were like we're doing it. They were like we're doing a tough crowd in prom to show you want to do it. And Louis was at that one too. No. That year, I mean, he did show up that year. Yeah.

I remember because Bonnie McFarlane followed him and she gets up and she goes, oh, sure, you guys put me up after the perverts. And I was at the next time, and we were just cracking up. It was awesome. That was like the year that was like, when people got word of it,

Louis C.K. has resurfaced fucking nerds. Guys selling off the internet. Yeah, I mean, when is he back? He's pretty tough. He's got another special coming out, a movie, and he's got a theater to it. Second theater to it, he's selling out world-wide. You fucking idiots.

You just don't know anything. You live inside you from your wife's missionary style. You were a good ornorologist, nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Can I have to do a doggie style, pretend there's balls? Listen. My followers are.

Anyway, you're supporting your upper body, I'm there for. Anyways, we are gonna go to, I wanna thank you guys for coming on. Thanks, we're gonna go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly right now. We're gonna be talking about this and you're gonna be taking you close off. Patreon? I don't know what other Patreon. You're gonna bring up something in Patreon too. What was it?

I forget. Yeah, I forget. We'll figure it out. But you got your thing plugged your November 19th, hinged, coming out, left button, did it, 800 pound gorilla, very sighted. Check it out. Listen, this is what you do. You got to support us, comics, and this is how you do it.

When one of us comes up with a special an album, I know you can't do everybody's Patreon, blah, blah, blah. I get it, but you go and get their album, buy it. The day it comes out, and this is the way we got to do it now, because the fucking industry and all the bullshit is so fucked up and so politically woken for all this horse shit that we're gonna do it ourselves. So we have to help each other. And John is I'm telling you one of the funniest guys out there. He is hilarious.

We're gonna put. What is that? She's so cute. Oh, he feed the heart How much is your album? Oh my god, how much is it? Five to five years of stress. That's for both. Thank you. Keep the change. What the fuck? All right now I'm gonna show you a picture and you throw out of my much money I'm just giving the hundred That bazooka. You need a ride? I have a Ford Ranger. Oh, I like it.

Somebody's dick just got bigger. I'm driving a Honda Civic. Doesn't matter. But it's coming out, make sure you get his album on the 11th. 19th. 19th. I used to like 1119. 11 19 and they can get it where? Everywhere.

Everywhere. Yeah, iTunes everywhere. Tell them the name again. Hinge. Hinge, John Fish. Spread the word. Go to social media, follow him, retweet it, share it and tell your friends to do it. Let's get it.

Let's get this off there. And you got, what do you got? You got a cartoon. I got a cartoon is called Karen Sucks. It's on YouTube. There's two episodes out right now. We are working on the third one. For free. For free.

Check it out. What is it? How do you, that's amazing. You have a cartoon. Yeah. And I worked with a lot of talented people lending their voices. I don't fucking get it.

You will, you will. Don't worry. You're in my mind. I mean, I cost a lot of money lot of talented people lending their voices. I don't fucking get it. You will, you will. Don't worry. You're in my mind. I mean, I cost a lot of money. I know. I also subscribe to my only fans of her plugin. I mean, why not? You have an only fans, which I am very proud of myself.

Go ahead. I never went to it. Thank you. And I never, you know, because I did. I never will. And I never, I never went to it because I never got the code. And I said, you're going to give me a lot. I was like, somebody's been asking me for a promo.

What's the thing you do with that kid that is fun? My podcast called Only Fiends. That's also on YouTube. His name is Jerge Fort. I can't do it. They're fellow Jew. He's like, shout out the Jew, okay. Short.

Short. He'll be very happy. His name was mentioned. He's obnoxious. But yeah, it's good. We do that once a week and Yeah, I'm at the stand a lot. You're at the stand a lot. You're very funny. I miss you At I thought you're gonna be there. I'm excited. I would have added I would have added to the the revelry for sure You would have a fucking great. It's getting fast. Oh, I would have been dressed like such a whore

I already have my outfits planned. Did you? Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean, I was gonna be naked judging the naked roast. Oh my God. How's excited? God damn it. Next one. Next one. Everything is excited for the next one. Well, you got well, then go over. We're going to go to patreon.com.cess rubber Kelly right now. We're going to go over this. We're going to go like it's reading material. Like it's a syllabus. We're going to see if there's any fake news in there. And then John had something I forget. I forget. But make sure you go to her, only fans check out a podcast

and check out her fucking animation. Animation, it's funny. I call them cartoons. Okay, cause I'm old. Cartoons? Cartoons? Is it dirty? Yeah, it's dirty. I wouldn't show it to your kids. It's called what?

Karen sucks. Karen sucks. That's two meanings. Yeah. A double on ton if you will. A double on ton. The nurse rappers use that word a lot double on ton. Yeah, they like it. They like it. I can't wait to check. I'm just without on bond. So don't. No. I love it. I love it. So we'll be talking about that. And also I did want to talk about there's, I think it was induced in this weekend the fucking festival. I can't even Travis Scott thing.

I know that's what everybody's making that same hack joke. Before I thought people were gonna die But no it is wild Why I don't look like why you gave the fucking skank fan a hairlip I mean wasn't enough with that dumb voice No, no, no, no, no, you had to give me a hairlip. That was just fucking mean Yeah, so we're gonna be talking about that. Hey Y YKWD fans, make sure you go and click the subscribe button and like button and comment.

And if you wanna check out the extra YKWDs or all the old stuff, it'll be the first one to see it. It always is first on patreon.com.sas.rebercale. You can watch it live and you can get it a week before it comes out. And you also get some extra footage We're working the stuff out, you know, right Joe Nice talking to you. I know it goes. I think Joe's fucking editing the cheese show

While we're doing this his own I got to get I have to get people who don't do comedy Oh, yeah, Nicole. What's up? See how quick that was? Joe's like would you say dude? Is that even listening to the show that he's producing right now? No, but he is on my only fan. Thank you for that joke. I've got that easy. No. Oh, fuck. Fucking assholes. So go to patreon.com. So go to my website too, Robert Kelly. I'm at comedy on Carlson in Rochester, the 19th. On the 26th, I'm in Hasbroke Heights in bananas at the new location, December 4th.

I'm going to be there with motion and Joe too. So if you know the podcast, if you know, Carlton Kelly, come down Jersey and then the warehouse in Fairfield, Connecticut, December 4th, December 9th, comedy on state, bam, one of my favorite clubs of all time and laugh it up and becky on January 20th. I'm going to be in a rubah, the 19th to the 4th. So I'll be there for Christmas and New Year's doing shows. So if you're, if you got none to do and you got a little extra cash and you're ballin'

like that, come down to a rubah. See one of the shows. Go to comicwearables.com for all my merchandise, YKWD shirts. We got the new hats. We got the Skankfest hat that is awesome by the way. It's really cool looking. Oh, you want one? Yeah, let me get one.

Yeah, we'll get me a code. Hi, we got the shirts, we got the hats, and everything comes with a sticker. So make sure you go to ComicRebels box. Come use code Ladybug to get 20% off all your items You everybody gets a sticker YKWD stick with that so make sure you take a picture that's swapping somewhere It's not supposed to be and it'll be great on a glory hole as a penis is coming out What else do I have to do what else? That's it. That's it. Nothing else. Nope. You're the best

So you guys are the best fans of the world. Check out what you're what you're handling. What do you want people to go see you on social media? At Karen Fian on Instagram. JD fish. Robert Kelly live at Robert Kelly live. You guys are the best fans of the world. You'll see you next week. You know what the

stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber kelly. See you there. God dammit. I told my wife, I was when I said I go, hey, can I? Would it bother you if I showed my like put stuff in one thing in my ass a month for an only fans page? She's like, what? And I went $100,000 a month.

She goes, oh my God. I don't think so. Really? She said, I don't think so. I go, you have fucking nuts. She's our buy-in or stuff. I mean, 100,000 a month, she would stick it in.

Yeah. Yeah. If it was real, she would stick it in. Yeah. Bye, check it out. Thank you so much for coming on. Make sure you check her out. She's got all kinds of stuff.

Look at this. What, we're gonna read this. Will you help me read these names? What am I looking? Read them. Just read them, sexy. Can I get them? Do whatever you want.

You can read them, fuck it. Yeah, of course. Ashley? Yeah, hey, Ashley, read those. Elizabeth, is that you who smells really good? I was like, I thought you're gonna say bad I'm like I was sweating out of my crotch Michael

Michael gagland Kathy real Michael gagliarty what a great name. I used to know a Jake gagliarty gagliarty. Why bad? Yeah, thanks for being a member Knees Bergeron, Joshua Sabeta, Joey Mueller, Manny, Anthony Lano, Ron McMullin, Brent, William, Kevin, Kevin K, Kevin K, subscribe to my only fans. I wonder if it's the same Kevin K. I don't know, hopefully. It's Kevin Brennan.

No, it's not. Is it Kevin Brennan? Is it? I'd kill myself. A, weights. There you go. That's it, right? Wow.

Yeah, that's all. Hey, guys, I want to thank all you That's it, right? Wow. Hey guys, I want to thank all you guys becoming a member of my Patreon. I hope you guys like this. Extras, what? Yeah, you can be. Go ahead.

Just wipe the seat when you're done. I'll bring some of these now. Ugh, I want to thank you guys for being a member of this. I want to thank all the fans of patreon.com, so I'll robber Kelly. I hope you guys are enjoying the content. If you guys want anything else, certain guests, whatever, just hit us up

and we'll try to accommodate you, fucks. Anyways, I got a bunch of stuff from Skankfest coming up. We got some new videos that me and Nicole and Joe working on some type. But what do they call, like vlog videos? Yeah. We're gonna be doing some content. We're gonna be switching things up

and giving you stuff that is cool, the stuff you want. If you have anything that we're not doing that you think we should be doing, let me fucking know and we'll get it done. You guys are the best fans in the world. We'll see you do anything else. No, it's okay. That's it.

We'll see you next week. You know what, goodbye. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, mornumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com you