Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Kevin Spacey Day

Episode Date: November 6, 2017

New YKWD “Kevin Spacey Day” where guest host @wilsylvince and guests @DanSoder and @shalomshuli go over dolphin promiscuity and back door action! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude, on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Okay, check it out. My sponsor time, Brooklyn and dot com, one of my favorite sponsors, why? Because it has to do with bed, I love bed, I love sleep. Sheets are an important part of that, bedding is an important part of that and I have these sheets on my bed I swear to God. I'm not just saying this. I know you didn't even give a shit. Don't fast forward through this. Listen to this ad Okay, you spend a 30-year life in your sheets. Are they taking care of you the way they should be?

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That was trying to keep it like a comic-ag. I have a bunch of you guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Side to the coin. That's how it all starts. You're not a part of it. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on flightcast.com.

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! Best of my best! Back to the party! Like it! W! No! No! You know what dude YKWD what's up, baby? I got a body here. I got a cast a cast of the mighty whiteies. Yeah, you got a real white show today, Will. Dude, this is white, this is like the white march, like the old data. It is all cream with it. It's all cream with a drip of coffee. That's a good point.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it really has a point as much as this is an observation. On my, do everybody want to go around? Is it introduction? You know, we do an AA introductions. That's pretty fun. Definitely. Let's pretty fun. Let's start this way. Hey, Mike's war is social media. So you're the might needle, needle drugs.

Just wake up. I got caught crossing some state lines with some pretty powerful shit. I've learned in here that Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior. And I look forward to living a clean life. He's coming in hot. I know. Listen, man, I got it. I'm bad. Hold on, dude.

You skipping a line. I'm sorry, Gabby. Thanks. I was coming in a happy with all this wise things should go on. You got respect the women, dude. I respect women more than anything. I was right. I was right.

Why are you starting right? How do you just stand? How do you just throw that on another guy? Man A white guy in power that's under a train comes in my live in my apartment Tell me which power I got you got a lot of power down. I don't got shit Your name is so I'm bringing it fast because that used to be the pace of this podcast boom I don't like it's in its geriatric age. We're doing some fucking book first of all you're gonna use these big ass words that

Can't stand the shit. No, don't put that on Brian that you will I'm trying not to only with that don't know what that mean. She's got a very Way, please respect I would love Gabby to go hey, I'm Gabby Brian. I'm the new producer. That's it Bam, all right. That was quick. She's the new Gabby. She went out the new Lauren. She's not the new Fistuka Uh-uh. What's up? Scopo that thick butt weirdo's not here. I do it. Hey was bigger than everything else. No his ass, dude That was a giant. Yeah, no, he had a lot of he knew it. Yeah, the lesbian ass. Yeah. Well, well See it though. It was it was like watching a cloud walk. See his ass go. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, it was it was like watching a cloud walk. Yeah, yeah, it was tough

He pulled down half the curtains around here on his way Scopus thick I like to do in the podcast with a rap video guy. Yeah, look like a Chilean horse from behind Juliet Gar series XM Howard Stern show Comedian proud, husband and friend of dance odor. Yeah. That's true. Hold on. Wait. Now, now, you put us in name. Shuly. What wait, the whole thing? Listen, well, I love you. I'm a huge fan. You mangle it any way you want. Okay. No, I used to put me on things like Julie

with a shoe. No, I, a shoe Lee. There you go. Yeah. No, but I used to be not as a shoe. No, a shoe. There you go. Yeah. No, but I said, Shula. That's not a shoe. Like a great, one of the greatest coaches of all time. That's a real person. Don Shula. Oh, yeah, dude.

He's a real, he's a legend. He's not even a real person. Oh, sure. God damn legend. Well, it's a big football fan. We all. Yeah. I'm not.

I know. I was. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good intro to Brian. Thank you. Thank you. I'm an intro and Brian Kennedy. There you go. You're going to take his freaking.

Well, that's how much I love Brian. I want to introduce Brian Kennedy. Well, there you go. Well, I love him so much. What does he do? He's a father. He's a, he's a met's fan. He premedian.

There you go. Giant's fan. Former comedy booker. I mean, this guy's man and clear producer. Come, come, a comedy producer. Yeah. He did, um, much madness for God, I'm ready. He did the world series of comedy and the world series of college. Yeah, which we lost to your team. That's me, Nate and Dan Shackie lost to you, Kyle grooms and all that.

Mealy. That's right. We were the Astros too. Yes, that's right. And that fucking nuts. Yeah, you remember that shit. Yeah, dude. I spoke a lot of weed, but my memory is Christmas. You remember all the losses. I know all the L's, buddy. I just etched them into my arm. That's why I always were sweatshirts. Did you feel bad because two blacks and a girl beat you all white team? No, that's like that. Isn't that like a fetish thing? Who is the Astros fan you are right? No, I'm not an Astros fan. I have no fucking clue who picked the Astros because I'm a San Francisco Giants That's right. Johnny's and then Nate likes. I don't know whoever I wasn't there the day they picked teams

No, I'm sure that was wait wait. Can you introduce yourself before you go into this big if they're listening in this pot Yeah, I mean, this is the part. This is where I started baby. This is the incubator a monster voice I'm Dan Soder. I'm Dan Soder if you're listening to ykwd and you don't know who I am Please go back and listen to all the episodes with Joe list Lewis Jay Gomez and Kelly for stew and will so Yes, yeah, there's some good ones with will but there's some great yeah when Yeah, when me and Joe were still drinking, you came on a couple of times. You drank during the podcast? Bobby thought it would be a good idea to have beer in the studio. He's like, damn, my guests can have a beer.

It'll be fucking great. And then he didn't know that listen, I were just going to drink all of the beer. And he's like, how many do you guys fucking have? We're like six each and he's like, you guys drink 12 beers? It's on the podcast. You can hear it. He gets upset at the end of the episode. He's like, what the fuck did?

Hold on, hold on. You saying he got all the podcast. Yeah, yeah, I know, but he was like, this starts off upset. Yeah, it's kind of fun to get Bobby there. That's like his fun zone. Bobby can't do it. Bobby's doing it.

It's like when Hogan hoax out. It is fun to see and not a lot of hard work to get them there either. Yeah, you don't have to fucking body slam them. Now you just have to sit in the wrong seat. I bet me not sitting in the middle seat makes them fucking cheerio. Oh, yeah. You like it as well. What has me sit in the middle in like a very odd tiger mom kind of way.

Where when this episode comes out, he's fucking dead. Why are you sitting on the end? I came in and Gabby was sitting there. You're fucking how many times he's done this podcast? You sitting in the middle. I'm going to record that conversation back on this podcast when I guarantee it happens. It will happen. Do we switch seats to save us?

Oh no, oh no new person. I'm letting you say you're Bobby right here, buddy. I know. I'm going you say Bobby right here, buddy. Oh, I know. I'm gonna learn. Quick. Now, bunch is one of the happiest things people have. No one ever got mad at bunch. No one of us, you know, it's killed anybody out at the bunch.

You know, Bobby came to bunch and was angry as shit last week. That's great. He really did. It's, you know, it's just like it's his style. How you get mad at bunch? Well, because maybe he just wanted specifically breakfast or specifically lunch. But you like someone joking you off. But, you know, you know, I'm saying, where do you go to get brunch?

That sounds like a place. A rub and tug with a nice egg, eggs Benedict. After I juck you off, you want eggs Benedict? Yeah, you pay a move, by the way, man. You didn't win. Introduce the files. I hit his microphone too. Just respect him on every angle.

Zach, then you guy. Oh, there's even a newer guy. Who's newer, you are Gabby. No, no, I'm newer. You're newer. Yeah. No, no, technically, technically. You're the oldest.

No, no, no, no, no, technically new guy, not new person. So he's a new guy. She's a girl. So he's a guy Really just want to do without pronouns and we just want to be gender fluid Why can't we just be people on a podcast? But he said it. Why do we have to be black people and white people? First of all, why can't we just be human beings who ingest oxygen? So I'm like her. I try to be black. I try to be you. I try to be people

But when I walk out the streets, the cops let me know that I'm a black people. They're not people. The cops. They're gods. He was he was so happy today by the way that a taxi went by me. This motherfucker hella cab and the taxi went by. What are you standing? You're standing too close to him. That's why you started first and you go, no, you go and then I put my hand up up. Will immediately went to box you out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. He was trying to use me to get a pay. I said, you, I said, how did you feel? I said, I said, that's how I feel. Every fucking minute when I'm walking. I said, don't worry. I'll get the next one. The next one came.

Yeah. You should do a new technique called the white shield where you just grab their back and aim at the cab that you want. And you're behind them. And then when the cab stops discard the shield I think we're on to something. Oh wait you mean you mean like a cutout? Yeah, that's even cut out where a white guy going like this. Yeah, and I shoot guys in a suit Yeah, guy in a suit and then you're like bad like you know I'm gonna fuck him. Yeah, you like you pulled over. Hold on bitch. It's like no, bro. No, bro. No I said, hold on. Hold on is actually right now. I say, but okay. Yeah, you like you pull over. Harlem bitch. It's like no Brooklyn. No Brooklyn. Go Oh, yeah, I said I said Harlem. Harlem is actually right now. So okay, he'll be like this. Oh, I love to take you to

All right, where did you like to go? 145th Annemst of them be great if will bust through it like a high school football With my Haitian voice book Bukka, okay? Bukka right now. He's like, oh, and I'm not paying them. No, you should do a thing called accent debates

where you just get into accented debates with cab drivers. What the fuck that means? It means we try to decipher what you're saying. Yeah. Two people with heavy accent. No, you know what you do. No, you do.

My accent is not that heavy. Ah, well, you're talking to someone that's known you over 10 years. But what? It's still heavy. Yeah, you do. No, you do. My ex is not that heavy. I will. You're talking to someone that's known you over 10 years. But what? It's still heavy. Yeah. You're telling Zach, new guy, newest, but oldest, but newest. Is your accent heavy?

So yeah, well, are you paying attention? Are you watching porn? What the fuck are you doing? It's noticeable. It's not as it is. It's not as it is. It's like a girl with a mini skirt or girl with skirt above a knees. It's noticeable. It's not a Supporters it's like a girl with a girl with a mini skirt or girl with skirt above a knees. It's noticeable Well, it's noticeable is a guy's way who's scared of you saying yes, you have a bad accent. You understand?

Zach, are you scared? You got a bed like me, my fucking you ain't scared. What the beard? So beards me? You guys aren't scared I'm trying to find any kind of true line with your logic. I have a beard. I'm terrified you have a beard You're a strong man. That's not a beard my fuck. Whoa Are you serious? That's a beard. What? There's a beard. Why is thing got that beard? What kind of kid bringing up Harvey wine? Did he do something to you? Will this your way of saying that he tried to shower with you join the list dude? Who's that guy that that got caught today? Let's just let's a shine light on all these you think you think space you did that

He admitted he did it. Yeah, Oh spacey said he did it. I came out and did it but then he tried to overshadow it like I was. Yeah. What a deflection. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Wait, read that article. I choose now to live as a gay man. Kevin's face. I slate that audio. And now read the article.

I slate that audio. That's just to play that every time. I'm going to get the joke on the joke. I choose now to live as a gay man. You're playing every time you're on the podcast. How do you not see the joke? That's hilarious. I'll walk you all the way to the punch line.

This is Kevin Spacey's thinking. It's quote. I choose walk you all the way to the punch line. This is Kevin Spacey's thinking. It's quote, I choose to live as a gay man. It's a G quote. Yeah, he came out and was like, yeah, I did it. There's a half a quote. He goes, no, he goes, I was drunk. I was a little aggressive with the guy. Also, I'm gay.

So if you don't like me, it's a hate crime. But it also wasn't, it also wasn't a flat out. Oh, yeah, I did this. It was, I don't really remember it. That was how the art. That was hard to statement starting. Yeah. Well, a by corn down. Let me read this shit. He didn't touch me. Kevin Spacey has come out publicly as a gay after years of speculation. I know. Gays. Doesn't say again. It says publicly.

Okay. Someone just delete the a part. Yeah. That's where the actor who has fiercely guarded his personal life for years. Oh, honey, you don't know how fierce. Announce his homosexuality on Twitter. Hey, guys, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm announcing things on Twitter. People have been telling me I'm gay on their free year.

We spot Twitter is like now the balcony where you say speeches. I got to say, yeah, there's a place where you just, but hold on for a second when I told you this you didn't know he was gay Did you I know he was gay really didn't know he was gay I know he was just trailing for some 14 year old dude, but He's like why I know I'll go with it if I'm gonna do it. Let me get the most fucking Rare form actors do some weird face again to it's getting hacked the maybe yeah Park coming up. I don't think

I don't know about that. He's like, how you're gonna get in this role? He's like, I'm a fuck kids. You're like, you are committed. Hey, Kevin, you're working to drive the tour at a McDonald's. I don't know if that calls for that. So you

not doing me. Hold on. I'm gonna say, dance. Oh, there's a fine actor. Thank you. Great actor. I see now. There was that one. I get in the role. What can I say? It's more animals, young animals. So you fuck animals?

Baby animals. Animal pedophilia. That's no, that's not, is that thing? No, I don't feel it. I don't, I don't fuck animals. I fuck human women. Somehow that sounded creepier than you fucking. Oh, they're my trophy animals. Oh, I have the a woman. Somehow that sounded creepier than you fucking.

Oh, they're my trophies. Oh, I have the human women. Wait, say human women. I'm married to an animal. You could just say women. Are there women in the animal world? No, female. No, no, no, no, that's not the word I use.

Women. Is anybody paying attention to the podcast? I said, no, I'm trying to find your logic in all of this. I'm not gonna lie. Do anybody use women when they told my animal? No, look at that woman. That's my point. Yes, to make it funnier, I said human woman. It's a joke.

Oh, it's overly clarifying. Dude, I thought you said, yeah. Look at this is how good his acting. I thought he was dead ass. But just with that deer, look at that woman. Look at that woman deer. And all fairness, Will's just coming back from the McLaughlin group pay pick. So he's a little Paul metaphor. Take him on a go. Well, wrong. I know wrong. I had no next stop. Next up. Next show. Next. Yeah, McLaughlin. It was a show on. It was a white show.

Oh, my god. I like. It was a white show. Oh, white. I like that. I've never had a black. Shula, you ain't got no black references. Shula, we'll get to it. I coached the 72 dolphins. You don't talk to me that way. I'm defeated.

Thank you. The football team? Yes. There we are. Up to speed. No, the actual. He coached the fleet of dolphins. Oh, cat.

Cat. Women dolphins. There's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Dolphin. The children, the children coach dolphins. Children not, but let me ask you this, blow your mind even more. You ready for this? Uh-huh. Dolphins. The animal. Mm-hmm. Are there women dolphins? Why?

You were asking. Are there women in there? Wait, wait, can I blow your mind? Why, I found out. Do you all know that dolphins love to rape? Yeah, people. Yeah. Yeah, they'll get right on top of you.

But, but hold on, is it? It sounds like you guys brought this up at like dinner party and roll like, uh, Zachi, can you just, how come you Zachi's spacing? Zachi, can you Google dolphin rape? I don't think we should.

For the third time today. Not my computer, so it'll be visual. I know dolphins, oh, one of the only species that have sex for pleasure. My point to you is, it's okay, but with me for me all those I See that faces the oversea squal space. Yeah, I don't watch squirrels fuck that close

I go hold on guys hold on. I know where I gotta go to this meeting real quick I just gotta get this field get real close to this When you come I watch you to look at me when you come. I saw a video where the female square, the woman square, as you say. Like, wink. No, she turned around. She turned down to like the male square while he was doing. She's a good job. She's like, you feel that a cop?

She goes, why don't you get that nut? Okay, we have fun. We have fun in this park. So the thing is about dolphins vaping. How do you know that you vaping? Wait, hold on. There's an illustration. Because you say you scream no and they keep swimming. Man, if you're telling me dolphin rape wouldn't be a great band name. You are fucking wrong.

Speed battle. Yeah. What? Don't drink for bad. What? What? What? But the thing is, it sounds like a loose chick. Homies, man. I was doing it. Hold on. I'm going to take this dolphin baby sister. I'm trying to read the article.

Yeah, I got I'm dead will. The thing is, is this your issue will? Is this where you get the oddly serious? You go guys, we've had a lot of fun today, but let's get real. We have to hold on. Hold on. How do we know that whatever these humans are tonned at often is not the dog is interpreted it as, hey, let's have sex.

So you're saying this is consensual, but us humans are misinterpreted? Yeah. You're saying they're asking for it. Like, what are these bathing suits? What are those dolphins doing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, whatever the humans are doing at the time, maybe the dog is reading it as, oh, I think the humans are saying they wanna have sex.

Like holding onto their fin and swimming with them. Maybe they take that as well. Yeah, oh shit, he wants some people. Right, he didn't want it. Why did you pet my side? You fed me a fish and I grabbed my dorsal fin. What? You touched my blow home.

You just get to get in my tank and tease me like that. See, Dan, you're joking, but you got a good point while you're joking. The thing is, what if the tweaking dolphin in their world, that's what that means? Well, hey, when you want something. You're saying, like, if it was reversed and like a dolphin came up and like, kissed my neck,

and then like grabbed my deck, and then I like had sex with the dolphin, the dolphins. Like, I didn't want to do that. And the dolphin came up and like kissed my neck. And then like grabbed my dick and then I like had sex with the dolphin, the dolphins. Like I didn't want to do that. And the dolphin go back and away. Thank you. The dolphin go back to the dolphin, yo. The human's are raping out there. The guy on billions just dittled me.

I then I have to go on Twitter. I go, I am openly a dolphin fucker. And I'm also gay. And I'm gay. It's not making a better. Oh my. Look over here everybody. I think I'm a 14 year old kid, I didn't even.

It's like a hand. Yeah, sure. I had sex with the kid. Or I'm gay. Is there a worse time to come out of the game? But you're a big gay, right? What's that? You're a little big gay, right?

I mean, I can appreciate the good looks of a man, but another way where I want to fuck him. You touch another man's penis on purpose. Never. Never ever. You and your boys, never, you and your, no. What, what are you thinking about? What happened with you?

You just walk around thinking, I'm just walking around, just jerking my friends off. I say jerk off, jerk out, that's cool. I've never touched another penis. How about that? Oh, was it Jay Okres that said they touched penis. Yeah, that's Jay. That's a Jay. That's the guy with fingerless gloves. Yeah. Cool. That doesn't mean that's

how we hang. But it's like, well, feather flock together. You've heard this bird. This bird doesn't touch other feathers. So, well, in the feathers you touched the penis. I'm not going to touch another man's penis. I'm just I'm just clarified. I got there's anything wrong with that. To anybody who I told the story that then dance or touch penises I take it back disregard Everyone I just get a text like hey man You all wrong dude. I thought you're out there just whacking dudes off texture from your mom so glad Wilton I said you was whacking them off I said you was was like, you know, like, you're like, Hey, that's your penis and you tap it.

In what kind of situation would you tell? Dude, I'm just going by what Jay August said. I'm not panocke-oeing anybody. Like, that's actually his joke. He says that in joke, a panocke-o-touch. He is, I don't want to teach you the lesson. I just want to get in the place. You're a real boy, a panocke-o joke.

That joke just came back to me in my brain. That's a big, Jay fucking half hour. Comedy Central presents joke. Jay August in fine shit. That's a big J fucking half hour comedy center presents Joe. J.O. Kissing fine. That's a discography. Oh Who's why we're gonna talk about dolphin rape, but I think you covered it up. Yeah, I'm talking about me. I can be like I'm going on some more Kevin Spacey's like It's a dolphin rape. He's like why can't we'll be the one coming after me? What thing goes this goes sideways every five minutes.

I didn't know Kevin Spacey was gay. What movie was he came out there who was gay? He didn't, but it's always been out there. It's no. What people have been talking about. How, what they do to make people think that. Fuck dudes. So he's been a rumor about him for years in entertainment that he's gay.

Yeah, but what happened that sparked this rumor? Gay sex. Yes. Yeah, but what happened that sparked this rumor gay sex. Well, what you should behavior led to a rumor that was gay sex. What else is homosexual behavior? Just being fabulous. I don't know. His shoe game was fire. His home was decorated. I think he was always out with people, but he'd never talked about it in public. We all have friends that are gay. I have friends that are gay that are out. He loved Broadway. So we got closet friends. Yeah, I got a couple. And what they do. They blow it. Yeah. Now, wait, my trick them off and they go longer.

So they did touch pieces. God damn it. No, that was a joke. I don't touch pieces. See, that's how that's how women's get started. I don't touch. That's how that's how women get started. They all can't. That's why. I told those stories because we'll start them. Yeah, because we'll just go. You jerk off. That guy's the welcome out of the closet. And then it's just that's how rumors get started.

A point and a yell. Yeah. An accusation. Come on. You killed JFK. Well, now, Julie killed JFK. It's you. Look, put him in the fire.

John Shula. Thank you. John Shula, a bird president candidate. What's up? What? What was the context of when you touched your friends? I never touched a penis ever. Well, yeah, that was so confident. Like it was never a reason for me to touch a penis.

Oh, okay, except for my own. If you had to grab a penis to pull yourself out of a burning fire, I have to, I have to to I have to get blacker What do you mean you'd burn you wouldn't I get burned you just but you just burn rather grab a dick What's the situation if it's a dick if a guy's hanging off a helicopter All he can let down is this dick and you have to grab his dick and his dick strong enough that you'll lift you out of the fire All you have to do is this grab his dick by the way, so we like half hard It's not like full-hard. Why does it paint it's doing hard and a tap-ass?

It's saving your life. Situation like that. He's not enjoying it either. Yeah, but you know, heat and the wind. The rush of the adrenaline, the blood's pumping to his wiener. Yeah, he doesn't have legs, obviously. Yeah, he's amputated legs. Thank you. The vibration. Something's happening with the vibration. You got to grab his dick to pull out of a of a I'm just going to go down like T2

You wouldn't grab it Not be dead, but at least people wouldn't think you're good. Yeah, but you died very straight One question, but you can't you can't be but you can be very spectacular. Sure. Is it like a pillow lover or like a big ocean lover? Ocean lover. I go down. You go down. Because it was a pillow lover. I'm not dying quickly.

You don't say so you slow death. Give me the death. I'm like a too long death. Too fucking puddle. I'll get you dick out of here. Yeah, you don't want to follow like a little fucking oil slick of lava. Yeah. El Bo first. Yeah Oh, no, it's spreading. Yeah

Eating my shirt. By the way, here's where your question is flawed your scenario Yeah, and that is with what wills packing all you have to do is throw it up at the landing skim Yes, you'll have a grappling hook. This is all lava Yeah, first of all, the cop. He was like grappling the hood. This is all lava. Yeah. Yeah. Let me go. Yeah. First of all, the patient dick people activate. Go, go, patient dick. That's just still going.

That's not like a great porn for Haitians. Yeah, but by the way, my penis is average. No, it is not. Please. I've seen. We've seen a naked picture of you on this bottom Whole right now that's how big it is you stay your dick stays in a different burrow. Yeah Listen will it's nothing to be ashamed. I'm not ashamed just average you guys

Then Joe said hook up with me. They gonna be like ah, this is it. That's all you got. Oh, really? I don't know who you're hook it. Hook up with a size queen like that that I would like to know because there's no way that your dick is out of it. That's a nice queen. You did you guys never heard that? Yeah, you never heard that, turn? No.

Oh, girl, that's a size queen? Like, no, Dick's big enough for her and then you're like, well, there's obviously a real sling on the wall. These youngsters, they haven't lived in. They don't know. They don't know. They haven't met complete picture.

Yeah. Hold on. Either Gabby had not heard of that. Oh, she's playing like what's that? Yeah, that's my moment to be like That sounds made So don't put out that your dick is average because then you're gonna you're gonna you're the bell curve You're gonna sink a lot of us pass it That's a sign of how big it really is where he's got to be like, guys, it's not that big.

No guy ever says that. That's what ever correct. And who are you comparing it to? What's average? This desk? Hawnstaw. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fair. We can say porn stars are hawnstaws.

I look at how you see Dicks. You go, you know, Mr. Marcus, that's a pretty average sized dick. Let me look at Lexington steel. Guys got an average dick. You know what? And a similar thing. I can't dunk like NBA players either. You know, I have a hard time dunking a ball like them. I don't know what that means. It's an example of how ridiculous your scenario was that you your average compared to porn stars. They're the elite. They're the top of the food. It's like when I hate. I just show my steamy right now. I don't really.

I didn't want to see the winestein. Winestein. And I don't know if you do know what happened to my stain. Are you just saying winestein is a blanket phrase? I mean, just saying it somewhere else. Is that your safe word? Is winestein your podcast safe word? He just said.

I don't know. We all right now wine steam. You want to see me? I think it's just crazy that dude could just jerk off in front of the girls when they fully cold and while they're in the bath and he's in the bathtub and they outside the bathtub with a coat on his way to to finish. Yeah, like who do does that? They got people who want to part. Yeah, they got.

People who want to play a superhero Yeah, this girl's just got fucking raincoat bus stop posture as he's just whacking off in the showries like I love that you look like you need to go somewhere Watch me loa fuck I can't reach like a clean. I am How does that turn them on power dude? He's a fucking powerful man in the shower joking over my surprise watching you Well, you know how much we can't say the weirdest thing that happened to me when me and my brothers and When he's going up and one had to wait for your brother promised you a role What if I told you you get top bunk you are a shit part?

What are you going to listen to a whole story or go on into up with you? I'm going to make this podcast funny. I know that. It's about sometimes about having a serious moment right now. Yeah. So one time I was, I had to wait for the shower and then my mother say, go go take a shower right now. And so my mother had to wait in the shower while the other

brother was showing, but because he couldn't come out, my mother would go and get mad because he's not taking a shower. But he didn't want to get in the shower with my other brand there. So wait on the outside. Naked? No, just fully clothed like waiting on the way. By the way, I love this. Wait, the raincoat.

I love this episode of the white shadow. I don't know if you guys saw it all living the showers. Did you guys sing like in that show? You love white shadow shows like that. You like the type that they love white shadow. Salami? That was my man. Salami on the white shadow.

I don't even know what the white shadow is. You don't know. Are you serious? Wait, I don't either. I know. show like that you like the type that they love white shadow Salami. That was my man Salami on the white channel. I don't even know what the white shadow is. You know, you serious. Wait, I don't either. Well, I told you I had street cred, right? White shadow. Take that shit. Why not really street cred? Come on. Another show white people. White guy saving black people.

That's another show. White shadow was a white guy who coached a black and black basketball team with like the stereotypical Italian, the Italian guy's nickname was Salami. Yeah. It was like, it was like welcome back Carla, right? Right. Right. But I was a serious fan.

I wasn't born yet. Yeah, they had serious. Welcome back Carla. I never did. It was on Nick at night. Yeah, thank you. I just knew it because Tervolta was in it.

What year was this? 1978 to 81. 81. You guys are around. I think I was around. I just knew it because Tervolto is in it. What year was this, huh? 1978 to 81 81. You guys are around. I thought you always around. I was born in 83. Yeah, but that's that show. I was I saw that show in 85. There was doing a bunch of repeat cool.

I was too. I was figuring out corners and spatial things and what not to eat. Corners. Corners. Yeah, little kids don't know what corners are. You watch a little kid try to figure out a corner. It's hilarious. There's like, yeah, what? One side's this side. This side. That's a can't tell if anything about me and Corn is my little. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, mom, make you watch your brother learn what corners are all at the same time. No, I should love hiding behind Corners as people come up there. Yeah. Oh, man, that was the best. That was the best. Yeah, I know exactly what we're talking about because we got recycling bins and my middle school was there and me and my friends would hide in the recycling bin. Hide inside? Yeah, in the garbage?

No, it wasn't garbage, will it? It was paper. So yeah, it was garbage. But it was a shreds of garbage. But writing on it. It was big enough that we could get in it as middle schoolers would hide it there and scare the shit out of people.

But now all those videos are out there of kids getting knocked out. Yeah, they pop out. I'm like who did I dodge a bullet one person got knocked out A lot of people got knocked out doing that shit Do hiding inside it and then they come out and yeah By was mostly black you knocking them fuck out. I will tell you this. Yeah, that's true It's mostly black dudes laying out white guys with haircuts like mine. It's a mistake you make trying to plan. Oh, this is black. Are you going? Oh, this is it. Yeah, I got to make.

No, you ready? Yeah. One trick, treating. No, for all. Good. What is that? That ain't on him. That's not on him. Oh That ain't on him that's not on him It's one thing I've learned black people don't hang out for though. So we have a camera set up right over here I don't wait for the original no no no no this is a TV show Yeah, no this guy's wing and move on with their day

snoring and a rubber mask and a fucking recycling binner Mark wake up Mark wake up. We got to get this camera back to a video. The one that they're about that video his mask They the same but you know his face like it went from He's the way his head went back into his chest With the master back. Oh, it's okay. Y'all everything's okay. I'm all for that. I love videos like that I think we should do that to people on their phones. I mean, I don't actually On that with me on their phone when they're walking in Texas. Yeah, people don't look people on their phones. I mean, I don't actually. On that, what do we do on their phones? When they're walking in text.

Yeah, people don't look up from their phones. Oh, yeah. Do you do anything to this? Do you yell out sometimes? I used to do this thing where I'd clap. Yeah. We're slowly clap and then as they got a lot of go, watch out, watch out, watch out.

And then they go, fuck you. And you go, fuck you, get off your phone. And at that moment, they're like, fuck them wrong. Wait, you don't really do that. So you're too nice. I've done that three times. Three times in your lifetime. No, like in the last week.

Oh. And he's right, it's all about the day and the moment. You gotta see him walking, you go, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out. Watch out! You're not. It's great. I recommend everyone do that near to it.

But you select, you select, you know, only the biggest blackest dudes doing it. Right. What? I'm a lesson. Yeah, yeah, I know anybody doing it. Anybody doing you know, you don't do the you don't do the men women I don't discriminate I don't discriminate if you're looking at what about the move when they stop on the stairs That's the fucking thing where I want to take their legs and wait, wait, what are they doing the stairs going down the stairs getting off the train They're going on and then they stop and that's where they're going to start texting somebody back. It's like you're right there on the step and you're talking Queens because you say down steps because in the city it means up step.

Yeah. Now when you're getting off the train, he lives above, we live in a story where you love ground on the train. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you get off the train, you walk downstairs, but I'm saying in the city, it's more frustrating when you're going upstairs because you're like, that how fights start. Yeah, that's exactly how fights start What should we start doing to those people? Tasing them? I don't get off the phone. I want one of those things. I want someone to develop the technology

to send electromagnetic pulse in a short distance to shut it. Like a bait phone. Yeah, but shut everyone's phone. Yeah, Contains by my app. I'm working on. Yes, do it. Will say, you know, you have a hold of door for someone and they don't say thank you. Yes. Right? Don't you hate that shit? That's a story. My life. They keep on going. I don't know. I don't know if you know this will, but I have a door man face. I do have no people leave shit with you all the time. Yeah. So can I, I'm

gonna leave a package here? I don't, I don't, I'm walking by, lady. I don't even work here. So. So my app, my app, right? My app will actually remember these people, right? And then I'll track them down. The next time they go into a door, I'll look to you, hey, this place is about to go to a door. You have to go to that door and you hold the door and you slam and they fucking face. That is the worst idea for an app.

Why? I've heard since the jump to conclusions, man, from the a space. Don't you want to get these people back? First off, you're going to have to, you have so many privacy issues. Finding out who these people are. And then not only that, how inconvenient it is, where you're like having dinner with your friend, you're like, huh? Hold on, my app's going off. Oh, this guy don't know is walking in a door. I've seen blocks north. I'll be back. I gotta go. This guy was rated a bitch ass bitch. Yeah, I gotta go slam a door in front of

him. We're having such a nice meal. Do it. It's not way to be worth it. No, it's not. I think my electric magnetic pulse idea is way better. I'm gonna do a prototype. Please do. Please spend the man hours. And I'm helping a prototype for something that I tell you right now is not a good idea. They're pleasure people would get To get these motherfuckers back. Why that what do you need the app just slam doors and random? What's the door I'm saving you months of planning the only way you can take the door back It was a double door you hold the door. They don't say thank you You run to the first door and I say no mother fucking not this door. That's see this crazy

That'd be so crazy if someone did that to me. I'd be like hey, are you okay? Like a rotey are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. I was just going to buy some shoes that you lost your shit I love I love how serious Will takes this idea because he's already analyzed the double door angle versus single door. He's got a backup point. Because the app was going to let you know,

hey, here, about to go to another door right now. You can get him right now. So the app will let you know the doors is God. But what do you literally tracking that? Yeah, that means you just, you tracking a guy who did you injustice? If you know somebody that lives close to that door, maybe you can call him and be like, yeah, it's called.

It's called door justice. How you're like that name? No, I like it. I think you should call it slam or slam justice. Oh, or justice slam. There's nothing justice about it. Justice like basketball on a actual court. Yeah. Hold on.

Justice slam. What did he told you? Hold on. Hold on. court. Yeah. Hold on. Justice slam. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold We'll so Vince presents justice slam You have to play basketball that's fucking laces in their sneakers shirts versus shanks Hold on I know I happen on a way y'all making jokes on me or whatever I think you took your horrible app idea and gave you a great reality. Oh, yeah. So you'll pitch the truth. I don't want to steal your stuff. I'm on my side. Listen, I got something better.

F***ing Mike finally says something. And we let that go. Mike, what do you say? He went on it. That's what we're talking about. We're talking about the thing I said. Could you say it? I mean, a basketball game where

prisoners play for their freedom. I like that, Mike. I don't know if it could be freedom. Or you know, it's like pretty tough. But I feel like pro-miss your cigarettes. About extra cigarettes. Comissary could be possible. 12 hour leave. And we do that.

I like that. Work release. I've been to prison before. Huh. Jail's work release. Jail in prison or I've been in college. Oh, you what?

I served some time in college. Do what? Where was your car? illegal cable, whatever. Israeli gets busted for you. No, you're you're you're you're you're. What? Say that's get it all. There you go. No, no, no're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you, but you born there. So you fold. No issue is you is

Also uncut is a new you can I just clear this Yeah, you're very cut Yeah, the Jew and the Jewish right I mean Jews what they say in the Bible now Yeah, I mean they say a lot of No, no, can't tell you my Debbie can't tell my day, but it's not the wrong. It's all right I'm gonna tell you my Debbie can't tell you my theory guys. I think we'll have a theory can I tell you how my theory? Yeah, what happened was the Jews Fucked up on Jesus so bad. They try to pull away like well, we're not Jew we Jewish You know say so they went off

Hey Well, not me my two friends I'm Jewish. I need I know Jew or two you know Jesus was a Jew. Yeah That's something they got mad so they try to pull away from knowing being Jews. But in Israel, you're saying there are a bunch of half-stepin Jews are Jewish. Yes. I don't know. What are they, in Israel, what do they say? I am Jewish or I'm a Jew?

They say they Jews. They're Israeli. Yeah. They don't, they don't, they don't. Everybody, for the most part is Jewish, it is real. Are they, are they really Catholic? So who's Jewish? So who's the Jew? It just come everybody for the most part is Jewish in Israel. Are there any other nearly Catholics? So who's do? So who the do?

There's Arab, I have Arab Jews in my family. There's all kinds. But you're not non Jewish. I mean, are there any like Catholic Christian or Israeli? There's a lot of Christians in Israel. Really? Yeah, Jerusalem's a big deal for that. I mean, that's yeah, you know, it's kind of, you know,

it's where the hits were made. Right. That's right. It's kind of, you know, it's where the hits were made. Right. That's right. It's kind of like their muscle shows. There was a good point. It's where those three shows. So that was a good point. Thanks.

That was a good point. Yeah, okay, there it is. I can't read it. Really well. The demographic features of Israel, are mod, mod, mod, there we go. Yeah, it's pretty much. Yes. 74.8% of them are Jews, 20.8 are Arab or remaining or just

other. Other. What a cool thing to be Israeli. Other. Hold on. Look, look what it says. It says family members of Jewish immigrants who are not registered at the Ministry of Interior as Jews.

Good point. Mine, boy. That's crazy. You're listening to another episode of Wheels. This is how they took over BJs. They took over BJs. They took over BJs. Huh?

The Israeli. Jewish people, the Orthodox. They want BJs? Say come to say it. Have you been to BJs? Okay, that's a place. I'm just discerning what BJ means. I have to wait.

When the BJs me, what are you saying? Yeah, you're saying blow jobs. You say what are you talking about electronics store? Right? Yeah. And the other one's talking about blow jobs. Yeah, he's like, he's like, that the other one's talking about blow jobs. Yeah, he's like, yeah. That's how they took over beach blow jobs.

Oh, really? Any worth of docs they love the blow job. Hold on, is that Joe Sulla? No, no, not Joe. I love that. Joe, how many blow jobs have you got in your lifetime? A lot. A lot.

Enough to buy a ring. Hey. Hello. I'm confused. Enough to get married. I got enough to get hello. Yeah, I'm confused enough to get married. I got enough to get married. Yeah. His wife blew him enough. Yeah. Oh, I think you gave him a blowjob.

Well, you made money for me to buy the ring. I guess money. I thought you was giving blowjob for money to buy a ring. If you were coming spicy, I'm gonna blow up up to guys. Truly, if that's not truly revealed he was gay, I'd I'm going to blow up You were coming spicy. I'm going to blow up up to you guys Truly if that's truly revealed he was gay I'd be like that's fucking what a better way than Kevin space Yeah, I would steal his thunder

I don't know if I give I don't know I'm up to buy a diamond ring because I am good at Oh, I guess it was a swallower this hungry hippo Raise the roof load all day. So you guys don't think I'm crazy. Can you always beat that face again? Which is? I mean, blow jaws have you have you guys enough to get married? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't buy a ring. There you go. So what does that mean? That his wife has blown him enough for him to buy her a diamond ring. No, no, no, no, no, you want to know about us touching Dix. You want me to blow what people for wedding rings? What's going on in your head? Well, in the, in the all you want to announce on Kevin Spacey Day. Anyway, we get to talk about laughable real quick.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You guys know what laughable is? No laughable is an app where you could download it on your iPhone and it could tell you about you could search your favorite comic or any comic and I'll tell you what podcast they're on like this podcast right now. So yeah, you type in Shula and nothing will come up. Except a bunch of you've been on raping dolphins. You say right. I for please go on with the app. I'm sorry. Anyway, laughable is a great app for iPhone users download laughable.com slash download. Go to laughable.com slash download people who who subscribe directly to me and and

and uh and the other favorite comment where people should oh my bad. So when mess type this, people should subscribe directly to me and other favorite and their other favorite comics. I hate public reading. Uh yeah, it's the worst. Android listeners, go to laughable.com slash android and join the wait list. That's always funny to me. Could join the wait list. Or if you have a phone with iPhone, buy their phone and find where your favorite comic is playing.

If you've been enjoying leftable, go and leave them a five star on your app with you right now. Yeah, it's great. Everyone download it. Actually, I do have left, boy. And it freaking works. I just typed up a random comic's great everyone down. Yeah, actually I do have that boy and it freaking works. I just typed up a random comments name one time and it showed me the podcast. All the podcasts he's done.

Yeah, it's really fucking cool. Yeah, is it arguing with them? Mm-hmm. I'll go that all the way. It's pretty, it's like on level of Google. Yeah, it's sweet. Is anybody paying attention? Yeah, I was just downloading it. I was just downloading laughable.

Then I was thinking about your door app should team up with laughable. That's a good laugh. And then you take this out in the future that's going to be a feature the worst, the most not saying thank you. Door holders, door going throughways. Going through it. I call them freedom dores. They just they think the world. I call them dores, the explorers.

That's what I call. But that's is my name and I have a patent. So I hope that takes off. I gotta tell you that award show is going to be a little more dangerous than the BET awards. It's something tells me when all those revolving door guys get in there and door slammers and thruers what a war show All right, so listen I had a great time

I love I love that we build on shit you throw out Maybe because my my my shit is serious and you guys always on like yeah, but that but doing yeah the best way to just cry attitude towards everything Dan he's just yeah, but I mean, did you want it to be as like a serious like can we have a serious moment? Absolutely. Why can't it now? You know about a movie that we have you see Maurice? Yeah, go watch the trailer now Yeah, you did a hilarious promo for it. Oh, yeah, you got it this Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how we

On a run just follow at YKWD and Why you want to sit why you want so dance? I just don't like watching myself so we can watch your trailer. Okay. You know watch it. Let's watch trailer. I'll watch it like watching myself so we can watch your trailer. Okay, let's watch it. Let's watch it trailer. I'm watching it. Okay. Okay. Okay, here's the deal.

Deepdiscount.com. I love the site in November. First, and I, our site is on sale. You know what I got? I got three o'clock high. That's what I got. Three o'clock high.

Great movie. But a nerd who gets threatened by a bully to fight him at three o'clock. After school, they remade it, it stinks, the original. I bought it. And I got flipper. I bought flipper. You know why?

Because I don't want my kid watches Nickelodeon, but tell these Nickelodeon kids, perfect little human beings, and all these perfect colors. I want a nice flipper old fashion movie about a dolphin that befriended a boy a little weird but who cares? I got it off there. DeepDiscount.com a lawyer sponsored it in my show. They've been with me for a long time in this company. I love this company. Okay great website. Loto with CDs, vinyls, DVDs, Blu-ray, video games, tons of stuff. The savings are ridiculous.

Right now, the savings are even more ridiculous, because it's crazy. There's a site-wide sale. Tens of thousands of items on sale at even lower prices. Go see it for yourself. Go to deepdiscount.com. Or just go to my homepage, ridecast.com slash robbercally. Click on the icon right there.

There's a logo. Click on that icon right there. There's a logo. Click on that on my homepage. Get a jump on your holiday shopping for the kids. Spongebob, superhero movies, or loads of chick's flits for the ladies in your life. There's a ton of stuff up there. Of course, be good to yourself and grab a few for your favorites too.

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Okay, you're going to get new releases too. Check this out this week. Season 1 HBO's Westworld on DVD and Blu-ray. We'll lots, lots of extras. Love that show. Might get that next week. Get your copy now for a great price. Just click, click on deepdiscount.com logo. Found on my homepage. Just go there. It's

ridecats.com slash Robert Kelly. Support my sponsors. Be good to yourself. Buy your favorites. Watch it when you want to. Check it out now. Thank you deep discount. God, I love this deep discount. What a great company You're funding this I like this will. Oh, thank you. All right, ready? by the way this is there's no audio so if you're listening to the podcast or others listening to music but it's will waking up homeless under the tracks washing his clothes Kanging around Seems to be a metal jar perhaps in Because of no boxing

Gives all the money he's got gives all the money he's got. Teach me, O.D. We're going back to being homeless. Then do a day work for a guy that looks like he could be my uncle. We'll get jacks going, man him so he can turn. Quite another bomb, snub is great, that's not it. That would be so cool. We'll sell and stuff.

Dury, getting good at fighting. Giving blood. Getting blood. Giving blood. Giving blood to getting blood. Giving his abs right. Wanted to have that left hook. Now he's in a lion heart like situation.

Yeah! Call it! It's always under a highway. There are not go fights. They's always under a highway. There are not gonna fight, there are always under highway. Nice prank for forgiveness. That dude's ass under the highway. Go, go. Look at Will. Jack.

You know how scared I'd be if I had to fight a fucking homeless person? Right now. Let's take this Simpson's route. It was like for his next meal, literally. They literally have nothing to lose. They call this guy Boxcageo. They crawl out of a Box homeless person. Right now. It's like the Simpsons, really. It was like for his next meal, literally. Literally have nothing to lose. They call this guy Boxcagelle. They crawl out of a Boxcage. Seriously.

The Homer Simpson disease. Geez, well. You have everything to gain when there's nothing I'd like to lose. Yeah. Yeah. Haitian Rocky. So, so you can stop me.

So, so, A-Buy was like, you know what I can stop it. Yeah, so so I was like shot beautifully looks great at it a great. Let me tell you something about when people get donations for films Mm-hmm first thing I check production value. Mm-hmm. That makes me feel like can I can I get it? Can I get behind this? Can I really believe this? Unbelievable production value. Thank you very well shot very well lit very well at all all scored properly Me you guys did a fucking great job with that trailer well the guy who who did it Liam and Jason That's amazing amazing amazing team man when we did this but people always say Brian and I are into comedy Why drama? I tell people man comedy always starts at drama We don't we don't all

lies are not always funny games. It starts at something serious and we make it funny. Dan, you make shit funny. Not stop. Thank you. That's our job, right? Yeah, but I mean, like you take the the dramiest drama. Yeah, the dramiest drama. That's how I call the what's it? How do you say the most drama? How would dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest dramiest That's how I call the what's it? How you say the most drama? How would drama is dark? Is that you could say dramatic things? Those things. Yeah, but the most dramatic is drama is dromis dromis Super drama Yeah, but that's like a superhero uber drama. Yeah, that means over drama. Yeah

It looks good, but you dance on it was in the movie. I saw on a airplane. Oh I think I'm a reason like yeah, I'm one of the homeless guys Yeah, will give me a role. What was that movie? You give me a role as a bummer when you get made you want to do it? I promise that you have to jerk them off though Yeah, I don't touch What's somewhere in my fingerless gloves? He put no key all up. Yeah, I'll just Wait, you want to be in the movie? Sure. What's love to be in the bar? What did you do? I'll tell you what

happened. Is this going to go? Are you watching? Wait, can I tell you why? So you know how kickstarter works, right? Yeah, where you get money, you get to know where they can donate. Well, go to kickstarter.com to kickstarter.com and just search I am movies kickstarter.com I am movies and you find is only I am always thing on there and you could donate. So great. Because it's a go 13 days. It would be great if there's some giant dude named Maurice.

It's like I'm also Maurice. But so anyway, the kick start not donation you, you, you, you give me. You play something you get something in return, you know, whether it be a shirt like we're wearing right now, you know, different things, hats and what not digital downloads of the movie. So, so we, one of the, one of the pledges we have, you could be an actor with speaking, speaking lines for 2500 Chris Vock and Leslie Jones got those pledges. That's great. So they actually paying us to be in the movie and big natch, too

Yeah big nice and now what if I told you I'm gonna give $275,000 to be Maurice I want to be Maurice. I am Maurice. We're taking this thing in a different way I'm an inner school I'm an inner city school teacher who also sleeps under trains But my passion is learning geography. Can we, can we, can we have your Haitian accent? I don't, I don't know how to do a Haitian accent. You do every other accent. Can't do a Haitian accent.

So when you do me, what'd you do? I don't really do you will. I let you do you. I let you do you. Because that, because you can't, I'm undoneable. Undoneable. I don't even fucking do that. Nobody can do that. So, so I hate a white Haitian

That would be I mean, I don't know I'll score one thing. Have you seen dance stomach? It is gross Sweat through my great t-shirt Dan you get a shave Dan came boxing one time twice. Twice. Two times. Amy paid. It was very nice. Aimee Shumma paid to come boxing. That's why you came. Yeah, I was free. I was still like, I was still fucking broke. Apparently, I'm not the only one born in Israel. I'm one of those Israeli others. Now, the other one has Jewish. I'm one of those Israeli others. Ooh.

That's Jewish. Yeah. Hey, it's Jew. I'm Tony Ash. He's a Jew. I love Jewish. I love Jewish. Oh, I want you to be Jewish.

You would love to be Jewish? Growing up, I wanted to be Jewish so bad. Yeah. See your boys, I wanted to be a Jew. Well, what do you think was on the other side of that? Mel Brooks. I'll tell you, I'm not fucking joking at all. My dad and I used to watch Mel Brooks all the time.

And then, like, for some reason, my grandfather, who's Swedish, used a lot of Yiddish in the house with my dad and my aunt. So my dad always used Yiddish around me. Like, you know, like Ponom and Schvanz and... Tuchis. Tuchis and all that stuff. And then watch Mel Brooks movies.

I was like, I want to be a Jew. Yeah. Because that was like who made want to be a Jew. Yeah. That was like, it was just so funny. Yeah. I'm lost, Carolina. What is on the other side of the, what the, He was saying, he was like, why,

he's basically asking me why I would want to be Jewish. What did he think was so cool about being Jewish? That he wanted to be a Jew. And all my favorite, what can I say, I always want to be Jamaican. Did you? Because Haitians had no love, man. They had no love.

They said we did voodoo, we wore white socks and dress shoes. We had that. That's great. They had no, I got bullied all the time. So when I got to high school, I lied and told people I was Jamaican. I went to a high school that was a way for my neighborhood. And some people like, yo, man, you got an accent. What are you from?

Oh, shit, have you got a gun? And I'm like, I'm Jamaican. Like, oh, okay, man. And I'm like, hey, man. I got an accent. What are you from? Like, oh shit, here we go again. And I'm like, I'm Jamaican. Like, oh, okay, man. And I'm like, hey, hey, man. I can't do that. So great. Did you start sporting like Jamaican shit at school? No, I know.

What do you like? We like Jocelyn. Yeah, Losing Green. Yeah, it goes, Jocelyn Cool running? That's my people. I don't know if you guys know about that. They taught us in school that. That was pretty good.

I do, I do what I'm saying. Boy, I got Boy, I got Boy, I got every now and then. Yeah. Like, I got OG. I like selling. In the conversation, I'm like, yeah. So I Buyaka, every now and then. Like, all the G, try my cell. In the conversation, I'm like, yeah, so I think we gotta do a homework. The chapters one and two, oh yeah, Buyaka, Buyaka.

We gotta do chapters one and two. I'll just throw Buyaka, Buyaka. There's some white guy, I guess. Hey, Will, I don't mean to criticize you the way you speak. I know you're Jamaican and everything. Like, the Buyaka's feel real out of place. Yeah, I feel like you're really shoe-horned in those Buyaka. Well, hold on, when you said that, one time there was a real Jamaican showdown. feel real out of place. Yeah, I can really shoe-horned in those bouillard.

Well, hold on. When you said that, one time that was a real Jamaican showdown. I don't know. Oh, that fuck is this weird sentence. Coming around here, telling everybody you Jamaican. Blood, blood. Even real. I don't fucking know.

I don't fucking know. Just a white kid doing it. No, you're not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. No, you're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. it, I'm not, you're not doing it, I'm not, you're not doing it, I'm not doing it. It's not all this shit, I'm not doing it. You're sitting at the scene from Half-Baked, we're here in Dave Chappelle and he's like,

where are you from? Right near the beach. Bum-Bee! Samson, Samson! I stick by my story. So, yes, anyway, that's how I evaded being bullied in high school. I just get bullied in junior high school. Really? How Yeah, why?

Go to the station. Do you pay attention to the pocket? But I mean, well people can get bullied for a Did you go to another podcast while you was while I was talking about being Haitian? I think she doesn't recognize Haiti as a What is your You know, except waiting to black people you think all blacks are blacks. I'm getting a lot of heat out of nowhere Yeah, I feel like I've been nice and kind. She's been very nice.

Chech actually just asked a very nice question. Okay, I apologize, Gabby. I was on your side. What's your question? Did you say that in word? Did you say that in word at all? I did not. Okay, just checking.

Yeah. I was doing your breath count. Yeah. She said as she was gearing data, I was yelling. She said, what? She said it as someone who's yelling. She's softly in the microphone. She goes, there I said.

I don't even hear me in it. I as yelling. She's softly in the microphone. She's there. I didn't even hear me. I did not. I love that I almost have will convince that you might have done such a psycho move like that. Everyone's yelling. It's my job. We can say it right now. You're job to say the N word. Bobby goes,

Dad, here's the thing I need you to do. Text everybody about the show. Get ready to say the end word. A lot. That's our thing, Dad. Do you know how come you can do Bobby Kelly? Because I know Bobby and I'm actually doing billbirds impression of Bobby Kelly.

Oh, so you can you do billbird? Yeah, fucking what do you want to know? It's just like the angry Boston. Yeah, all right. It just cuts words off quick. Bilbo is one of my favorite comedians. I'll tell you what it's funny. It's shit, dude.

One of the best of all time. Him and Patrice are my top. Patrice, oh my god. Those two guys, you know, tell him the story about the Patrice on the show. Yeah, well, yeah, he brought me into that. And then Patrice and I just hit it off. We had a great time The first episode Patrice had him say that

I'm a man. He wanted me to I didn't say it though. He kept saying he's like, oh, you're right You're with us. I'm like, yeah, and then I go outside and get my ass kicked wasn't it you guys Harris and Patrice? Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, Harris and I'm Vaughn and Dante and yeah, holy fuck I remember watching those online. Yeah, and And I was like before YouTube and shit. Yeah Yeah, no man it was before YouTube because you had to go to Patrice's site to watch it. What? Yeah, yeah, no YouTube came out YouTube wasn't out when you guys did the Patrice on the show Yeah, I mean YouTube 2006 yeah, true. I mean you to really hit all right well you're giving me shit for fucking up Word you're giving me shit for fucking snubbling on a word come on well. You know, Zach

Well, Zachy Google when when he's already on it. Oh, six. Exactly. One was you too. You got to shoot when you two when you two came out like 2009. No, to you two came on 2004. I got popular in 2009 2010 because the iPhone came out in No 7. Good. What? Cut freaking. What's the penis was big on YouTube in 2004? What is that? We stopped by carolines before we ran into caroline and we were just talking about, you know, we were talking about Patrice and Bill and stuff like that actually. And when I was there, there was a show, so she'll tell us the headliner and his opening acts about Patrice and Bill and stuff like that actually. And when I was there, there was a show, so Shopell was the headliner.

Yeah. And his opening acts were Patrice and Burr. I mean, can you imagine that? And by the way, the people that probably wouldn't saw that show didn't appreciate it. Nope. They're like, um, the other black guy was pretty funny, but some of his staff would it upset me. And then the guy from Boston was angry.

The white guy. The white guy from Boston was angry. Because he was the only white guy on the show. Yeah. But that's such a killer line up. That was the only time I remember how it's starting coming in. Really? Yeah.

He had to peel on that day. And then, you know, I'm sure you know, I'm sure you know, come see, I'll come see and everybody's like, yeah, he probably won't come. And he came. Yeah, you got to talk in the mic, man. No, the shipelle, the shipelle stern appearances were like some of my favorite. I would steal those.

Oh my god. Just a download. There was one with, uh, there was a great stern appearance with shipelle stern appearances were like some of my favorite. I would steal those. Oh my God. It's just a download. There was one with, there was a great stern appearance with shepelle and a tell. Right. Yeah. Where shepelle cleared up a story that the New York Post said that shepelle wouldn't get off stage. Right.

But it was a tells birthday. And shepelle was like, you're taking the night off, enjoy yourself, Dave. And like, that was kind of the thing. They went on stern to clarify it. I remember listening to that in fucking Tucson and being like, wow, what was that 2003? Well, this is before the Cheppel show. Yeah, it was right when season one was happening. It was like, Oh, two, oh three.

And I remember being like, you could just see David Tell and Dave Chappelle on a show in New York because I was working at fucking laughs and Tucson where it's like this weekend, it's fucking a guy from a beer ad in 1988. And then he goes up and he's like, man, and women are different. You're like, this guy sucks. And then I'm listening to radio where they're like, yeah, Chappelle wouldn't let a tell on stage like, what the fuck? I remember like when I first moved to New York, I remember seeing like a couple of my first seller shows and being like, well, this is insane. Yeah. Because it was like Gerardo, uh, fucking Mikey D, uh, Patrice wasn't here. It was Bill Burr, Greg Gerardo. It was like the lineup was insane.

So, so there was a time at the comedy cello, which Chappelle was coming back to back, back to back. Yeah. So the crowd got used to Chappelle just popping up, right? So, but this the night he didn't come. But I tell it, I tell it's close, I tell it always close. Yeah. Most of the time. So, but this is night he didn't come, but I tell his, I tell his, I tell always close his shows most of the time. So, but, but when I, when I, when I'm hosting, sometimes I'm like, good for Dan. Soda. Right. Yeah. So I go good for Dave and a crowd with crazy. I tell, and the tell say, yo, just say my name fully. I quickly without the pause. That's so great.

You know, can you not make it sound like it's Dave Chappelle coming up? Yeah, it rhymes too on top of it. If you want, yeah, you're right. David tell Dave Chappelle. Yeah. You can really help out with your accent, you know, you get the sounds. Well, hold on. Yeah, I know.

I can't. I'm sorry. That was just the first 15 minutes. My accent, you guys, you guys have been understanding me. Correct. What does that mean? What is that? How does it show that you don't have an accent?

Jackie. Yeah. I mean, what a terrible name. Greenlit. Zachi, you almost deserve the name. Right? Wait. You like it?

Oh, I don't like it. I think I deserve it. Okay. Well, you just, man, you, you you'd be a fucking model prisoner. Yeah. You're like, God, dude, you need to serve my time and I apologize. I believe in you to a lot of calls that family. I'm trying to get in the prison basketball. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you just slam justice. Hold on. Is that a joke?

Slam just I'm pitching it to truth. I don't know if you're a joke. It's a callback. It's not a joke. You deserve the hanky sheath of the bomb, bomb, the bomb, Dana. She is. I think I'm afraid of the bomb, Dana. I've worn that shit thousands of times, many, many, many times. Bomb on here, bomb here right now. Bomb right now. To go for a bomb. I don't think I can't.

Oh, by the way, speaking of the movie, Guy, I don't want wasted them, your damn, you know, you don't say your work is shit. Hmm. She put a list of the most successful movies that were crowdfunded. Yeah, for you. Can you read them out, please? Brian has them. Brian, can you read them out?

Yeah, we have. You recognize any of these movies, Dan, so the, sure. Blue like jazz. You know that one? No. It was based on a book. Minecraft, it was, which is a video game or a computer game the story of Mojang by two players productions, okay

So they made a movie of a video game and that's it Neil Gaillmann's the price of Christopher salmon so far Gary This is my reincarnation. I mean these aren't but you know some that that did make it was a Zach Braff member. Oh No, no, no, no actually his second movie that didn't do as well. But, but the long did crowdfunding for Kroki. Well, these are small. I don't. Yeah, I don't know if that's true. No, he went and raised the money himself when they, when they wouldn't give them,

they, they try to get another actor and change ending. They're offering them like a million dollars for the screenplay and he refused. And he said, no, but he was vocal shit. and he said fuck that and he went and raised money himself Okay, so it's not a formal crowd funding. Yeah, you know what? You're absolutely right a crowd It's a four two people make a crowd if I get the money from you guys. No, that's not true I've done comedy shows for two people. That's not a crowd Those are two people. Yeah, three is a crowd Three is a crowd two. What was it?

Two is a party. Three is a company. By the way, speaking of that, I did comedy shows at the New York comedy club. It was two people know this one before what's named took over. By the new comedy club is probably one of the second best clubs in the city right now. Yeah. Shout out. Third best. Third. It's one of the third. Yeah. Third. It's topped in a top three. Top three. Top eight. Top eight top eight Creatures Paul in fact top four. There's four really good clubs in the city right now and New York crime club is in there I remember when I performed it was two people in the crowd Two people in the wait. It was that good. Was that good English? Yeah, yeah, two people in the crowd. Yes

No, two people in the audience. No two people in the crowd. Oh, there was two people There's two people sitting there was There was all these of two. Did you do this bit for the you're on stage? Yeah. The two people. No, I was fascinated by they will laugh in so much that it felt like a crowd.

Well, that's that's great at a comedy show. Not good at dinner. I'm like, you're so fucking loud. But you think their friends are like, but check this out with the crowd. Check this out. You know who they were?

Who? Black people. Oh, right. When you got a crowd or two, you want black people in the audience to make it feel like a full crowd. I'm like, you white, who just freaking crap. Oh, I, well, be polite, that polite laughter,

polite clap. You're eating poetry. You want two white people. Right. Well, comedy, two black people. You don't want to white people How do you make cold nachos? Yeah, I ordered a martini. This isn't a martini. I don't get what white people bitch That's the point we're doing a thing on white people complaining. That sounds like the white the white people watch this past weekend Oh, yeah, I as matter. I was you was real. You know what that was complaining about?

Their coffee's been late. Yeah. Um, um, they, they, you know, um, the rent went up from $5,000 to $6,000. Inex, inexcusable. You get me all fired up here. Well, what else did they march? What, what, what, what why people be marching for? Oh, more sunblock.

How many people they have? How many of you is at the white white lives matter. White lives matter. Wait, wait, you got to say, Oh, the two are the widest people in the world. You're not really. You're like the black of the whites. I mean, will you think that Gabby and I, you think Gabby and I share anything in common with look at Gabby's face. Yeah, okay. She is lily white. Okay. Hold on, hold on. Hold on.

But by your logic, no, no, you're not stopping on your logic. I'm not letting you get away with it. Hold on. On your logic, no, no, no, there's no holding on. You're not going to get me to hold on. On your logic, because we're white, we should automatically support white lives matter right now. That's the one I said.

That's what you said. I said, that's the way that I said you it. Gabby, hold on. Let me play the Gabby. How many black guys you have sex with? Jesus Christ. Exactly. That's my point. I never answered.

Oh. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Cause it was a person. Maybe you just got turned on remembering Jesus Christ. You imagine that. Oh, shit. I know.

All right. She goes hold on. Oh, imagine you and Brian get married. Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian Kennedy and Gabby, Brian. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. Let's get another craft. Let's get started. Let's get this name going.

Let's get this mashup. Go fire this up. I might have won the talk about that. You guys didn't think about that. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't think about that. I'm not going to lie. No, that brain doesn't work that told about that you guys didn't think about that. Yeah, I didn't think about that I'm not gonna learn that brain doesn't work that fast maybe you should do an app on that. Oh

Wheels just got all these app ideas Ryan slam. Yes, wait, slamming me on the action be called blinds. That's why I'm slam. I think that should be called backdoor action And when you match up people you'll get more people Backdoor action and when you match up people you'll get more people I know I see you like gay but you're gonna get a lot more people download and get that way Backdoor in day, no, I didn't they then they realized they got a slam a door and something Let's tell you something. Yeah, you're such a genius 91% backdoor action for the door slamming app boom you can charge 799 And every one of, I gotta get this

thing. It's about Doors. Let me And that's your first reading. You download it like, oh God, I'm such a naughty, naughty boy, back door action. Oh, what? This is a good Samaritan app. Sure.

I think you got a good point. Thanks, man. I know John. You know, they said that Jews didn't build the pyramids, but you know what? You mind that. I don't think we built it. I think we are. They're going to the left.

The left. Like we can. Why the crazy? Right? No, I don't know about lazy. Surely we walked for 40 years in the desert because you had no choice. Well, that too, but you know, I think she was trying to say they form in the job. Yeah.

We supervised. Edward form. I'm here to help. Let you appear. I'd like to help you build your pyramids, but you're killed. Jesus. We supervised Edward form I'd like to help you build your pyramids, but you're killed Jesus now how did Jesus? No, no, I'm white and kill them. What do we need to kill? We didn't kill the Jews didn't kill you gave it to the Romans gave it to the bones We did the head thing We did one of those you went Jesus Might not be done

So when Jesus said, Y'all with it, it might not be done to sleep. Right. So y'all was the official biggest snitches. Right. We hit, we definitely snitched my man now. We'll take that. We didn't kill,

but we snatched. That's not a bad thing. Yeah, I was. Romans did. Romans. So how come bombers don't get heat for killing Jesus? Oh, you know, the Empire fell. And then they're just like,

and why I had to Jesus become white. Literature, my friend. White washing of literature. Just like Columbus Columbus was Guys in a dying Telling me bro, what do you know that Columbus was Italian? I think it was I thought he was just a white dude. What oh white people? Yeah, they have no nationalities just I Cool cool. Well, would he go to to ask for permission to go to freaking to go to Spain? India, Spain funded it. Spain funded it.

No, no, I thought he went to the queen of Spain. It's crazy. I thought with the queen of England is a Bella. Yeah. So who, so who did he go to queen of England for? Nothing. Oh, you think all white people are English. Yeah, you know what I thought right?

First of all, first of all, in my textbook, I said he went to the Queen of England. They gave you defective textbooks. They taught all the textbooks were defective. If you look at them, that's true. Thank you. Gabby, you guys are super well. I think you're blind. Can I say I love that you guys took this podcast to a new woke level. If you're reading books, you're reading blinders. By the way, that's the title. By the way, can I say something? Can I say something? Yes, you're hosting the podcast, Will.

You can say whatever you want. Why do you just start using the word woke? We've been using words. I used it in a foreseeable way. We've been using the word woke since 1988. Use it in a sentence. Prove it. Go ahead. I police shot my friend.

We gotta stay woke. Okay. And you know what? And I just want to tell you, as one of your white friends, you can cherish and use woke all you want. And I will only use it in a way to make fun of dumb, younger white people.

Thank you, Zelda. You're welcome. Can you make fun of Gabby for you? Again, I used woke in a joking sense. Gabby, thank you for woken up. And whites, we use the word awake. You got to stay awake. FYI, stay awake.

The cops are out here killing black people. Stay awake. Don't fall asleep Freddie Kruger shit The police are on the real Freddie Kruger shit. It's so I want to laugh But it's such a serious matter. That's that's funny. Well, dude white lives matter to me, bro I don't know if you know this but you brought that up and I obviously have to go to that would you go to the march? No

Why the fuck would I ever go to that dumb march? Because your people's are there. I don't know those people. No. Another Yorva Tezovaci race. I mean every single race, ethnicity, creed and culture has a racist family member. No, no.

You don't have any racist Haitian family members. Oh my God. You're gonna tell me right now there's no racist Haitian people. I've been in Haitian family. You said my family. My family. Your family, no racist. Nope, at all. They may be dead.

Man, they don't talk honest with you. What? It's always that one honest family member, like, oh God, you are a racist. You don't have a racist family member? Oh, like my mother, this is who I go up with. My mother, my grandmother, my father, my three brothers, my aunts, they love the whites, they love the Spanish.

Okay. You know what I'm saying? They love the others. But they'd never be like, you know these white motherfuckers, they never, they never did, they never did the side mouth project. My mother said, be careful because they, they will shoot you because you're black. They will look down on you because you're black. Those are facts. But she never put them down like the crackers, all those chunkyy she never talked bad about your my fuckers My pops love y'all motherfuckers. I didn't hear anything about you're the one I didn't hear your family praising We're all gonna go to some fucking dumb marching a place. I don't want to go in to begin with where was that march?

Tennessee Tennessee I got you in a way was that so you got the text because he doesn't read it Sorry, can you lie? Sorry can't make it frog That the guy going to do that you go thank you goes where do you get the tiki tortures? I go home depot Thank you goes where do you get the Tiki tortures? I go home depot sail sail white a Murphy's burrow. That's where fucking Bonneroo is who Bonneroo. It's a music festival. Yeah, and they did it done Or almost there Halloween. Yeah, no, it's totally it was a There's a toll Halloween prank. You know, Halloween is the only time cops don't shoot black people.

Really? Or they can't tell. That is fun. I don't get sick as they gave him the night off. Why don't worry about that? He said cops don't shoot black people on Halloween. I don't get sick as they gave him the night off. That's a joke that cops all they do is the cops, all they do is shoot black people. Pro or con the kneeling for the national anthem will events.

Um, I'm actually for it because, you know, why can't I say why for sure? Yeah. Cause we live in a, in a place where we could do that. You're right. First amendment rights, buddy. Right there with you. Why you, even if it was a white thing or a poor living thing or a gay thing, I think people had to write to stand for something they believe in.

And why? It's for protest. Why are you getting mad at someone for something that like, listen, the Jews, right? The Jews, right? Sure, yeah. Something, you know, something was happening. Okay.

You know what I'm saying? I'm like, oh, that's not true. Shula, the Jews got all the fun. They got all the money. They got all the money. They got all the, all the, they, landlords. Right. But, but if something seriously happened to you guys, sure, you know it better than weight not Jews.

I, yeah, I mean, can't argue with that. You know saying absolutely. Wait, I have, can I just say, no, I can't. Fuck you guys were just talking about that. That was so woke. Oh, you know what, right? You're right. You're right. It was very awake of you.

Look, people, like black people took, been saying for many years that the cops are mistreating us. Yeah. And justice left them right. I mean, it's, it's proven fact. And then you guys didn't believe us for a long time. No, no, you guys even personally, like guys, guys, they're really making a lot of noise,

but I don't think there's any fun. You know why the Biden and King shit went crazy? Video tape. No, yeah, no, that's not the reason. Cause you wouldn't stop. No, why? Cause he wasn't a listener. Yeah.

It was a bad listener. Yeah, it was. No, so goddamn funny. Didn't follow the question. No, because at the many years of telling people the world that yo man, the cost of giving us a lot of injustice And then now we got the video to show it. You know, I'm still don't believe y'all and like what the fuck Those cops got acquitted and that's what led to the wrong thing you have the video proof now and nothing's come from it

Yeah, and then I mean they got a guy in Baltimore in a body camera Putting evidence on a black dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's still nothing. The cop that shot that black guy, the judge, yes, two days ago said you have a clean, uh, just erase that bracket. It wasn't a guy. It was a lady. It was a woman in Oklahoma.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. So you got the two, you got the, you got the text. No, I didn't get a text. I read the news article. Oh, I thought you got that from, you know, white, the white supremacists. Are you calling me a white supremacist? I said you got the face though. I have a white face I mean if you reverse that right there if I go well, you're a criminal you got the face wait wait wait what if I said that I love that he's like yeah, you go

Expect it from other people dance so. Hold on. Yeah. He doesn't get that. I'm just flipping what he said. Let me just thinks I just came out of nowhere. I'm like, you got to face him. Hold on. Let me adjust something real quick.

You know how they say black people on tape? I'm sure you guys heard this, Vulma. I've been a waiter, buddy. They don't say that. Real man. They don't say that. You guys fucking go full through with that one. Okay.

Can I explain? Can I explain? You guys, you guys double the taxes. What what comes first? The chicken or the egg, right? So hold on, hold on, Dan. Okay. So for many years, after they freed the slaves, right?

Why have you been attacking us? They think like, oh, they don't deserve the same rights. Oh, get off my street. That that wolf. So they being, so when we finally went to restaurants, they've been treating us like shit first. I mean, we weren't even allowed in some of the same. Yeah, exactly. So the 60s. So when we, that into restaurants, they've been treating us like shit first. I mean, we weren't even allowed in some of the same room. Yeah, exactly. So when we, I, that's why I said, I said when we was first allowed,

they still treat us like shit in the restaurants and they got the note to put, hey, you gotta tip us on that bad service. Motherfucker, what? So, so they treat us like shit way before we was not tipping. Yeah. We do tip on the bad service, Mikey. No, I also wouldn't tip at a restaurant that wouldn't allow me in beforehand. It's like shit way before who was not tipping. Yeah, would you tip on the best service Mikey? No, I also wouldn't tip at a restaurant that wouldn't allow me in beforehand. Yeah, you got it.

I can come in now and give you a way. But you have no way. If you had no way to eat, and this is the only place to eat, what you gonna do Mikey? Yeah, I'm not probably. Will, why don't invite people? I'm not gonna tip them, they're gonna just snarl at me the whole time.

They look at me and everything. Why do Indian people not tip? Indian, well, man, I don't know, I don't know that pipe. Shula, you know what, are you closest to Indians? I am Israel and India there. Oh very No, no neighbors. No, yeah, that tension between India and Israel. We're close my dad Least out a couple empty buildings for 7-Eleven's back No, I

Have no clue what's going on in India. I'm not up on that. Well, why are Indians don't tip? No, they sold us at that. I mean, where I was a waiter. I had a lot of Indian families come in and they were you. They tip the worst out of any group. If you're going to group people by race, let's say that they said the bills are a hundred bucks. What would they tip? 350. Wow. So they tip 350, but they tip that's 3.5% but they tipped It's not a tip. They might as well just kick me in my dick. I would have appreciated that more What if they would have walked up and gone? I want to tell you this service That's great and you please open your legs a little bit and I'm like sure what's going on? Okay, put your hands at your side Okay, what are you doing just stand there?

a check site. Okay. What are you doing? Just standing there. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. And then I went, uh, rather do that then three, fifty. And then once you caught your breath, you'd be like, it's better than three dollars and ninety cents. I go, some bitch. Please look me in the eyes. Yeah. My grapes are sore. Indian acts. You a spot. Why don't do it? What do we do when you do a stand up comic, the entire show? Because I'm doing it on a podcast where it's a joke I would look insanely raised. It's just going up there. Yeah. Speaking in an Indian accent. Holding a torch. Doing an Indian accent. What? I mean, if you do accents, it's great on radio and stuff, but it's harder when you're looking at a the widest guy in the world to do it. I was laughing my ass off. I know because it's on a podcast where people were saying

here, but I'm here seeing you in your eyes. Yeah, I think people are too touchy for me to do that and you know, employees that was that bad English seeing you in your eyes. Oh, yeah, that sounds like a good song there. Yeah. Seeing you in your eyes. Bay. Okay, you know, I don't know when you had the theory. It was a good song. They put a pot of coffee on. I think we got to actually sing it. Hey, Ron, can you get in the booth? I'm going to need the rhythm section in there. I think Will's got something. So far, we've pitched an app TV show and now it's song. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you're moving. So what about Mikey? He paying a thing. He don't say much but he paying attention. Unlike Gabby, who had this. This is off. Yeah. Gabby has been present

the entire time. Gabby. she's doing a great job. Gabby, you're killing it. Yeah. Good job, Zachy. Zachy, Zachy, don't say, Zachy, say less, less more than Mikey. There's another song there. That's more than Mikey. You say less more than Mikey. Yeah. Zachy, say less more than Mikey. Yeah, Jackie say less more than Mikey Turning to a spring song Need to pepper that to lose the nose and that's a hit less more means white John Cougar melon camp fucking song Okay, someone that has to question. Less more means what?

Means nothing. That means not a god to just negates each other. That's my point about Zachi. And that's he says less more than Mikey. What a lyric. I mean, you are on fire. You're like, you're like, what a Dylan in the league. Yeah, Dylan's got nothing on you. Oh, you're even better than the Dylan, I mean you are on fire

Dylan's got nothing on you are even better than the Dylan Dylan's Batch it crazy Hey, baby Mackey but his Will these lyrics are great. I'm looking your eyes. See it, man. It's better. We bought doing it, dude. We'll soon be there. Zach is busy, Maggie, because moon is less, but less. And everybody.

No, I'm just laughing because you're not the text. Can you explain who Bob Dylan is now to? I know Bob Dylan. What my favorite song is by Bob Dylan is now to my favorite songs by Bob Dylan song. No, Bob Dylan, not Bob Marley. He was OG woke Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan does a song. Here we go.

Sing it. What's it telling me? I'll give you a beat. Yeah. I'm not gonna name a song cuz I need you to say that song. I tried to get you out of I gave you one. I'm gonna come out those a weasel. No pop rose weasel. Yeah, that was what the weasel weasel weasel weasel he goes Pat but the weasel man. Not one of his most early. Yeah, I'm but it's good.

What is that? And he started a cafe wall. Sturers down. Mm-hmm. Is that right? Yeah. I'd soon as I was a great story about noob's dad throwing blowin' in the wind.

We'll blowin' in the wind. I'm a deluxe. I'm a deluxe. Geez. Hey, I'm coming out with a new album with wheels. Oh, I'm getting a mix up with John Stewart You're not John Stewart. What's the single name? Not John Stewart not John Stewart wait wait, not John Stewart What's the what's the single name with Stewart in his name?

Rod Stewart Stewart John Bob Dylan no one is ever If you think I'm sick John Bob Dylan no one is ever never if you think I'm sick Thank man at a prison he's a little bit of zez Forever young is a Dylan song it is they see see What namely some of us do his songs real quick Forever young song so yeah, not forever young. Oh really? Yeah, the one Stewart does isn't a Dylan song Oh, the band does is the Dylan. Yeah, but that makes more sense. Yeah, is it who the band? Just like I talk

So wait the band and then the band moved up to Jericho, New York Top 10 workout songs. No, not one Nothing gets me more jacked and blowing in the wind I really do some power cleans Fucking Maggie's farm Yeah, they still you when you are. I can tease the dude. I put it on.

I got to set my new fucking max for bench. Yeah. Yeah. Spot me and throw on Maggie May. Yeah. Yeah. Keep behind me, bro. Keep behind me.

Dude, that's all the songs. That's all the songs. I think it might be. Hold on. It's just one page. No, it's one of these early songs. I think you passed it. Go back.

You're in my heart. You're in my heart. What's that one about? Oh, yeah. It's from you read my heart. You read my soul. You're in that room when I go old. That's good. Oh, that is the worst. Yes. But Dylan can't say and

that's the I just need to see lyrics. I can imagine him and Bob Dylan in the last day lyrics. I'm always well. I know what you saying. How are you saying? That's a reality show. No, you go. No, will you go? Will do in the podcast. You're a young boss to it. Got some of the Ellis lyrics in this song.

I mean, the fact that we're talking about Rod Stewart lyrics over Bob Dylan. Erick's is fucking you. Oh, zero afternoon. Ah, I think we praise Rod Stewart's song. You know, Neil Diamond's pretty good. Have you heard Dustin Diamond? Let's get to him. My love for you is immeasurable. So you know, Neil Diamond's pretty good. Have you heard Dustin diamond? My love for you is immeasurable. My respect for you is immense.

Your ageless, timeless and fineness, your beauty and your elegance, your rest, your respite put your in comedy, your sympathy and a play. Wait, wait, can you put the top of that again? You're what? Your rest put the top of that again? You're what? Your rap city. The app, your, the app, all comes back to the, your comedy, your sympathy and a play. Every love song you have written by honey, what do you see in me? Dude, how killing it? Kill it.

Did you hear that straight poetry? I think my favorite lyric was Symphony. Yeah. Symphony is good. It's hard to hear you speak with all this coming my ear. Right. Those lyrics are what? My ears are coming to those beautiful lyrics. Yeah. Well, I have to leave. Okay. But I love. We gotta go. Let's wrap this puppy up. Let's wrap it up, man. We had a good time here. We learned a lot from you, whites. Thank you. Thanks, man. That's a damn good sight.

I'll be in Cap City in Austin, Texas. The last week in November, the 28th through the second, tickets are at danceoder.com. At danceoder on Twitter and Instagram. Find what I'm not sure you know about the show, but anybody do a show of wedding on B or things they're doing. So we're buying. Yeah, so I wrote this movie with Will,

we're kickstarting it on Kickstarter. I am Maurice. It's a boxing film. Will's gonna star in it. We wrote it together, we're producing it. Help us raise the money. We got 13 days to go. I am Maurice Kickstarter.

Shula. You can do it with a show. Yeah, man. I'm also a Jew. I just want to get the hell out of here. No, Gabby, get in there. No, you mean start out of here. Yeah.

There's a one-jewkowd on this show. No, you can, my website, Shalom Shule, Twitter, Shalom Shule, 16th through the 18th of November, I am in Minnesota at the Royal Comedy Theater. Go see me there. L.A. in December. Doing a charity gig, 15th, 16th, and November 10th. I'm in Philly through New York comedy club. Everything's on my website. I got a Twitch channel. Go nuts. Have fun. Yes. Gabby I'll be on Wednesday night. I'm at sketch block at the understate marks theater

And then I'm at the triad on Thursday. Do what for the comedy blender show? Do what you stand up stand up, okay? Let the people know that you know sometimes people know what Gabby's doing You know what I'm saying and then I'll be in Asbury Park in the 21st What's going on? That's right. I just Yeah, yeah, I'm just trick-or-treating. I just didn't dare to. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just trick-or-treating.

I'll just be around. Find me. Okay. No, I'll be doing stand-up at the St. And then the 27th, I'm at Broadway comedy club. Yeah. Mikey. A little real quick because Dan, you have the, yeah, the Boundfire

Billions, right? Yeah. There's a, the Boundfire. I see you actually, you just went on to Brian, but it's okay. Boundfire on Comi's tree. How you forgot how you You said I don't ever forget the bomb I'm afraid of shows thanks dude me and big J

Jay, I just did it. I had a blast with you go Twitter and Snapchat And when is the new season of Billions turn may we're filming it right now. Oh, they filmed that in my neighborhood Greenpoint no, apart slow. Yeah, that's one of the houses So you know they're right on my street. They don't film my part there. They film my part in Greenpoint down filming East New York. I was going to stay. It's just a weird place to film. They also know filming Kinersey or sheep's head bay. Are we just going to keep naming neighborhoods in our film in ozone park? Why don't we film in our own park? I'll be in Austin this Friday and we had a line of laugh out Latin San Antonio on the 15th. I should call Austin awesome.

And then you guys want to go see Bobby. He's going to be a Morty's comedy joint this weekend at Indianapolis. I'm going to be the second through the fourth. And then after that, he'll be at comedy connection and Providence, Rhode Island, 10th and 11th. And of course, a big part of comics come home on November 18th. Make sure you guys check all those out. American comedy company San Diego at the end of November.

Governors broke Ridge in December. Gotham comedy club the week of Christmas. So check this, let those things out guys. You can get those tickets. Zachy. Zach the new guy. That's his thing. Yeah, you got you going me anywhere. Besides, That's a thing. Yeah, you got you going me anywhere besides home just being exact the new guy. That's amazing. Ultimate five years. Now I hope you're still. Where?

The new guy. I'm a member and let's once again, doing I am a risk go to kickstar.com. Share it. And and go to I am a week's share search I am a week and you know, help us make this movie happen. And also I'm at the comedy seller and I'll be in Pakistan, end of November, during a week of shows there.

So, we, awesome. And if you guys wanna come to the show, sit on the couch, email us at ykwdproducer at riotcast.com. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? And if you wanna send us anything, like fan stuff, this is our address. Comedy seller, 117 McDougal Street, New York, New York,

112 is the zip. I want to thank Robert Kelly for letting me do this podcast. Oh, and we have a live show next week. Oh yeah. And a couple of like hotel on the seventh. For the New York comedy festival. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. I'm gonna be there. Yeah, I'm coming. Awesome. Yeah, I'm gonna be on that show. I

Who's on that show? I have to look it up. We'll talk after oh, she's no no, no, no, no, what? Yeah, we want to make a real thing. Yeah, it's gonna be nice. Yeah, hell yeah. Oh, let's work it out. Yeah, put me down. But you're gonna be there You want to show? Yeah, hell yeah. Oh, let's work it out. Yeah, put me down. But you're gonna be there Bang on be there. Yeah, you can he can he got called his wife So that's all of this is an Instagram follow us on Twitter page book Tag us on any pictures you have a Bobby and yeah guys sweet Yeah, yeah You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.

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