Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - KWR - SuperStar

Episode Date: May 31, 2011

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Shit. All right, all right, we're back with another, you know what dude podcast and I have a very special guest. Yes. You know, I've been doing pretty mediocre guests up till now. I'm talking about. Had Bill Dawes. That's a lot of bitch. Joe DeRosa.

Exactly. Thanks. I'm not a boss. Joe DeRosa. Exactly. Stinks. And now I have KWR superstar. At AOL, motherfucker. Keep Robinson. You all know Keith Robbins in it. And those of you who don't, you're probably 25 and younger. But Keith is one of the funniest guys on the planet. I've probably known you the longest out of anybody in New York. Right. Because I met you.

Years ago at a college called no convention convention. A knack a convention. Right. And I was chilling and I was cool. I was about 22 then yeah, you're like 22 I remember seeing your TV you did I was in star search I'm just sure how many times man. I won like eight star searches in a row I was beautiful almost made out of chili from a TLC Really fans know TLC is everybody knows so TLC is your fan. You know what dude? That's what's the name of your podcast? You know't have to get that close to the mic, stop it. All right, I'm sorry, but not on real radio, man. I'm a radio dude, man. Shut up, you're not a radio dude.

You're not a radio guy. It's like toy, like dog on your lap. So Star Search, but Star Search was a variation of what, chill. I forget. No, whoa. Star Search was something else. Star Search was a talented show. Get out of here.

It's the August creep me out, keep putting this toy on my lap. That's what I want you to play. That's all. Get out of here. Get out of here. Two little puppies are possessed. No, they just like that. I train them. Apparently not good enough.

I train them not to like black people. And they're all over your plane with you. What awful, they like my color. They're awful guard dogs. A little guard dog. I tell you though, I thought this one right here, my little silky terrier was racist. Because when you get a condo, when you have to buy, I mean a co-op, New York City is 80% co-ops, 20% condos. When you buy a condo, it's like buying a house.

It's easy. You get a co-op, you have to be passed by the board. So you have to go in and literally the people, the president, the vice president, all these people have to meet you, talk to you, and decide whether they want you and they're building or not. They don't give a fuck how much money you have.

If they don't like you, you don't get in. So we actually had to bring our dogs in for an interview. We had to come in and then bring our dogs back. The dogs? Yeah, for this place. So we brought them in and I you know I was really training them hard. What were you training your dogs to do? Shut up. Fuck up. For interview with the co-hide. I just wanted them quiet. So we got him into the co-op upstairs in one of the apartments. We'll meet with the president and a couple other people.

And they're sitting on either side quiet as, oh my God, just a little angel sitting there in a patonum and it's going great. All of a sudden, the lady left the front door and the little black girl who lives across the hall comes over whenever she wants and says, high in place. She walks in, this one starts going Had a little girl at the little black girl

And I'm like I'm like I'm grabbing I'm like And the girl looks scared. I was sent you started getting scared. I'm pinching the back of his fucking neck I almost ripped his skin off. I was like, shot the fuck up, you little racist. But apparently that's all over. Apparently he's changed his ways because he's fucking playing with you. Up first because he's trying to attack me up front. Yeah. But anyways, back to where I know you from. You're on star search. I saw you on TV a bunch of times. You were, you know, one of those guys back in the early 90s early 90s. Man, I got every TV show available in the early 90s.

The star search was a it was a big thing for me. Man, I had to star search. Everybody was there. Jeff Ross packed for like about eight weeks and was gone in two days. I think I kicked off. Yes. He helped. I'm taking double.

I'm going to play. He thought he was going to be there for the whole run. Two days in God. Two days he's out of there. He had those fucking Louis Vuitton ship two cases. Awful, awful. But back then, like the early 90s, that was the second comedy boom. That was the second one.

There was the first one back with... In the 80s. It's like, it was pretty big for for comedy. You made a lot of money just on a road. Right. And then the 90s was TV. All TV. All TV. And evening at the improv. Did you do that? Everybody on even at the improv. I did that three times spotlight. Spotlight. Spotlight. I pay did that. Comic strip live. Comic strip live. Everything. Well, comic strip live is what actually got me in gear, because I was sitting home with a girl. And my block, that's when Blockbuster Video was hot. We watched Blockbuster Video, and joined, I wasn't doing it.

I'm like, hey, weekend, I'm sitting there with Blockbuster Videos, Plop on a minute of the VCR. Right. And I turned to on a spot uh spotlight and no comic strip live and Ralph Harris was on a friend of my Ralph Harris I know Ralph Harris yeah and the girl I was with like why aren't you on TV and that changed my life I'm like was bitch I'm here with you did you dump her I don't there and shot the New York honey beat it

I'm out no I'm joking I'm joking I'm just here face Jesus, I'm joking. I'm joking. You see your face? Jesus Christ. I'm a fucking joke and make those sweet beads. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Jesus. Well, back then, it was seven minutes of clean material. That's, I remember, that's when I was coming off.

That's all I say. Seven minutes of clean material. Seven minutes of clean material. Seven minutes of clean. And you're good. Right. Hi, we're back. I just fucking had a hot one with my wife.

What? I love it. Hi. It's a dog rower. She's just my wife just so much. Oh. Ah! She's my wife just Fucking here's a thing, okay, just just to let people know what happened the dogs fucking with the fuck the you know On your lap keep throwing shit on you. She you know get the fucking dogs out of here

Fucking up the podcast But your wife is lately know fucking podcast. Why tell you talk to me as whole? See, fuck on. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You accepted? When you say like you mean it. I like it. But I love every bit of it. Hang on. So anyway, say just fucking whatever. The dog was on your lap. It's great. He said, how's the shit happening?

That's stuff happening. I know. You got to deal with the elements. It's the elements of having a home, man. You married. You got a home. Let's get back to you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. Beautiful home. You got a beautiful white. I go home and yell at nobody I get up and like who the fuck put the clothes on the floor and it's just me Listen, yep, yeah, but what was who's that you? Oh? Did that stuff that's the problem though? Is you fucking just said you were on the couch watching? Watching are you making the fucking noise? Is that you? Ah, this fucking. How would a great podcast just me fight physically going at it?

Because this is the problem with my wife, though, is that she had three big brothers growing up. She can take a beaten. Like, I've actually got into fights before. Well, I try to hold her down and put her on behind her back and bend her wrist or a thing like. Wait, why get out? No, she has to say, I'm like, say, I'm the best.

No, no, she'll take the pain and just go, no, it's not laughing. You're a sick bitch. You just gotta let go and walk away. You can just fuck it up. It's not wrong. You're head mentally. Well, that's why I used to do it. I used to wrestle my son's mom to the ground.

And she said, wait, why get up. And then I spent a half hour apologizing before I got him. Look, we've got to get together, not in front of the kids. Yeah. I know. One night I have a joke in my act when I was barbecue and chicken. I went to throw the chicken off the balcony, the raw chicken,

and I threw it and slipped and slapped and hit her in the face. It just slapped her and the cheek. And she went, I'm going to kill you, motherfucker. You just started coming, happy. I had to get on top and run, hold her down with all my way. I was like, baby, it was an accident. Get off me, she got me kid. She goes, get off me kid.

What are you talking about? Yeah. You better stay there longer. Yeah, when they start calling, you're like kid, captain Ace. Yeah. So I give you a TV quotes, you gotta hold them down. Yeah, it's like holding down fucking, like,

you can come in Eastwood. You can come in the gochiatr. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. And anyways, back to you, I, uh, you, you said fuck you beat it to the check. You literally got it. I had to get rid of it. And then you went, you went fucking

to get it on the show. I had to move to New York. Yes, I had to move to New York. Yeah, I had to come to New York. That's why everybody say to go, go to New York. I was in Philly. Oh my god. I got to go to New York I was in a mall skipping to the malls holding hands You know all the shit that makes you sick

Yeah, and then I seen Ralph on that sweet TV show Oh my god. I just want you on there because I'm fucking here with you And that was it and I came to New York and hung out and got some TV because that was it back then I mean you do you do a TV show now you can do nine letters 10 letterments who gives a shit no I mean it's now it's just a badge of honor I mean to do let off for a comic is a badge of honor right to do letterman one of those shows to a badge of honor like I did it I I haven't

done it I haven't had the balls to put together a set for it. What that's all it is, you got to put together the perfect set. Yeah, you're going to put together a set. It's not that hard. I just have I've had no interest in in doing it because it really does not done for you except. I've been on bad. I did bad boys are comedy and I was walking with a comic who did let them in and more people was coming up to me. Hey, I've seen your bad boys. I've seen your bad boys. Yeah, bad boys. Yeah, just last it in.

And I did that a while back and people are still, you was all bad boys. Oh my gosh. Oh shit. Well, you did all those shows, you did them all. Right. And that was the boom. And that's when I met you.

Right. I went to a NACA convention with my, I was at a Bunker Hill Community College for art. I knew you was at a community college. Yeah. I had it expect you to be out of here. I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could do a total of college.

I was at Bunker Hill Community College on like some fucking art scholarship, my art teacher. She had, they give a scholarship away every year and they just gave it to me. I wasn't even the best artist. They just liked me better than the other ship kids, the little fucking... But Bob, you have a criminal background.

I do. Yeah, I go. You should be lucky to go to community. You probably don't community service. You know how to say some artwork you did. Well, I went to college and you get like fifth from the state because I was a ward of the state. You get all this money every semester. For food and books, like 1500 bucks, I would take that money and you'd literally see me showing

up with a new outfit on like a trench coat, a briefcase, about like a 200 dollar briefcase. No books at it. Nothing. I spent all the money, I had no money for books. But I hooked up with the student council at the college because I was starting to do, that's where I started comedy. Me and Aldo Benny and Dan Cook, we did a talent show. And after that we won the talent show. And I was it, I was done. I'm like, fuck art, I'm doing this.

And I put together, I made everybody, you know, really commit and I started booking us gigs at comedy clubs as a troop. And we go in and fucking kill it. And I kept trying to get booked at my college and they were like, we only booked through NACA. We only booked through NACA. So they said, why don't you come to this conference that we're having. And, you know, you'll see how it works, but you'll come as one of the school members. Let me ask you something. Yeah. This is real shit.

You being a criminal. Did they have a check your background? Who? You just school. You can't just. Can't 18 18 the records are sealed. I did all my crime from 13 to 15 that I went to rehab for a year. Uh, I went to jail.

I got arrested the last time at 15 and then I went to a rehab. I just want to talk about the fact that you're criminal Robert I'm not a criminal I'm not anymore I haven't I still feel guilty like when I walked through those Dwayne Reed met you know fucking you stole shit detectors I Walked through tense up every time because I'm like did I fucking steal some shit? I used to steal out of stores all the time fucking my TV dinners and fucking Losing I did was still but I just I never got sent away for it

That's all I did was still a lot of stealing Yeah, but you you you're lying. You're a criminal in your life You got arrested by the cops and you shit your pants. No, no, no, I fought the cops. I ate something down as early in the day. My stomach had a nice bubble in it. And when the cop kicked me in the stomach, that was it. It popped out.

You're because, because you fought, they wanted to pull you over. And you wanted to pull me over. The cops wanted to pull me over. It was me, little cab, Kevin Hart and Rachel Feinstein, two other comics. And we were there and we see, we dropped Rachel, me and cab dropped Rachel off. Cab was driving. I made him drive. They were both open up for me. And I drove and we dropped Rachel off and then start yelling at

her. Hey, white bitch, we're going to get you. Who said that? Me and cab. We just playing with her. I want to tell you white bitch, we're gonna get you. What said that? Me and Ted, we just plan with everyone. Hey white bitch, we gonna rape you. Bada da da da da. Just plan. Yes. That's dead. Dude, wait a minute.

Can we stop? I'm not rolling over. Hey white bitch, we're gonna rape you. That's just playing. What do you want the cops to do? All right, go ahead. They don't know how we were really saying it? What if it was real?

What if they just, oh, they're just kidding. We said, hey, white bitch, we're going to rape her. She want the house and we pulled over and we want to turn down the street and they followed us and then, you know, pulled us over. So the cops were racist. What? Dude, they saw two black guys saying, hey, white bitch, we're going to rape you and they were in the wrong thinking that maybe you guys were

Did we rape something? Did we rape him? He drops a girl off and go hey white bitch we go rape you and then just drown off like nothing happened. No good point. Maybe really bad rapists? Really bad rapists. Yeah you just go on. You just procrastinators Lazy-wraithy but not now No, we just you know we were screaming out of it and all I just playing around with dumb Rachel That's all we would don't fucking around with stupid Rachel and a cop pulled us over low stupid cab Of course didn't have his license license was suspended that I'm no license pay so I said they said we can tow the car I'm like fuck that. It's my car that I have no license. So I said, they said, we can tow the car. I'm like, fuck that, it's my car and I have my license. They said, what?

I said, I have my license, this is my car. They said, is your car? Yeah, it's my fucking car. And before all that, I know the cop rules. When a cop stop you, let me ask you this, Robert. What are you supposed to do? Cop stop you. Well, I'll give you a minute.

Cop stop me? And the car, what do you do? 10 of two. Hands on the steering wheel. That's it. 10 of two hands on the steering wheel? That's it ten of two hands on the steering wheel and just wait for them to come up to the window and then they Tie you to roll down the window you roll down the window very, you know, you know No quick movements and you go how you doing officer and then they go do you know I'm stopping you go if I did something wrong I go I do I went through that light I apologize. I didn't see it. I messed up. Or if I didn't do anything wrong, I'll go, I don't know. But I'm sure you have a very good reason. But I'd like to hear it. And then they'll usually say, uh, license

registration. And I'll say, I'm reaching into my glove compartment to get the registration. And here's my wallet. And I'll hand it to them. And then I put my hands back on the steering wheel. All right. Let me give you the black version. Okay. No, the cops stop. Yeah. You turn the interior lights on. Boom. Let them see inside the car. This mic works by the way. You don't need to scream. Go ahead. Well, you know, well, I don't know if you have mic work. It looks like a 30s mic.

So you, you, you, you, you, you know, turn the interior is on, put your hands on a thing. Right. And then when the cops come and say, know why stop he said no motherfucker I don't why what do you Jay see what do you Jay what I said no no no no and I said you know he said he have his license register kept in having a license registration they were going to tow my car but I told him I have my license at my registration Here's my license. Here's my fucking registration Boom and the cops like get out the car. I like I'm getting out the fucking car I would you have to why would you have to retort? Why wouldn't you just get out of the car? I would be well I would you have to why would you have to tell him?

That's how we were raising filly. All right got ahead the cops, you know, whatever Okay, so I get out the car, one cop grabbed me, and I throw them off me. Blown. Why do you throw them? Because you instinct the great one. You're an ingest. I'll be using, all these are karate.

Out of your frame. In the mountains of South Illinois. It's just instinct. We have a trainer in a project named Baldyi and he told us a little kung fu. Right. Okay. See you a new show enough. Okay.

So one guy grabbed me, I threw him. Another guy threw him off. One guy, I got you. Dennis started mountain up with cops. It's a whole bundle of cops and I'm just throwing cops around. Okay. Now stop. Yes.

Little cab is doing what? Little cab is damn there. In the car shaking like a little bitch. He's in the car like a little bitch. Obviously he's making sure they see he's doing nothing. That's all. He's like take note of this. I don't know. I'm doing nothing. He's yelling at you. I agree with you guys. Yes, I just want you to know his leg. Get his leg. He's good with his legs. So, you know, boom, boom, boom, I'm just tossing a blam slam. And I'm on a car one guy's like, I got him like, no, you don't.

For some reason, I want the TV mode. I'm just fucking TV key. Every TV quote, I can think. And then I'm like, where the fuck is this going? Yeah. Once again, I'm, you know, well, not once again. But I'm a chess player. So it's always got to be what move makes another move, makes another move, make another move.

I'm like, I'm fighting these cops. Just don't leave this shit. No, it does. Right. So I hate to see you in a cell. Yeah, so I'm like, oh, boy. So I put my arms in the hands behind my back. Now, then, just angry because I was treating them so bad.

I called them bitches. Y'all are y'all weak. And I was just saying shit to him. And the guy threw me on the ground and start kicking me. And I asked the cop, this dumbest question ever, is that all you got? I don't know where, like I'm in an ex-med movie. So what did he, what was he,

he's like, I got plenty of more. And he just started kicking me and kicking me and so I can feel whatever shitty quarter pounder I had him gonna start bubbling and shooting it just bloop, bloop, bloop. And I'm like, I have boy. And then he whipped out some pepper spray but I'm still in good mood.

So, wait, you sheet your pants? I shit my pants. And then that's not enough. You whip so it's better. you whip up my pepper spray. I'm like fuck pepper spray. I eat pepper. And then what happened? Oh man that was the worst feeling. I'm having some time. I'm afraid you can write in the right now. You must have emptied a can out of my the empty the can out of my what did you say after that? I don't eat pepper spray. I don't want to go night night.

Oh my eyes was they pat me like shackled my legs up and all of us and I knew as long as a black cop came up and it's like get that fuck it those fucking shackles off of. Really? Yeah, because they would say it's a need only to be shackled. And they took me into thing and they washed my, they don't need to do what

they told me to wash my, when I was out and cleaning myself up. I gave it to you. Do you were in jail for the night? Pretty much yes. I wanted air for the night. And I want this sound as homeless guy and Keb was in it all night. I'm talking to Sam. Hey, the homeless guy's trying to take something from cab. Take his little Sam, which little cab was in there wrestling with the homeless guy while I was in the bathroom.

Johnny, little cab ready to go to jail with you. Yeah, he wanted to have with me for an hour or so. Because he didn't have a license. Right. Because he didn't have his license. Oh, God. Oh, that's what that is. I don't even know how we got a subject, but I'm very, Because he didn't have a license right because he didn't have his life. Oh God. Oh I don't even know how we got a subject, but I'm very I'm so glad we did just to prove that you're still on Your shit

I quit when I was 15 okay, well, how old were you when that happened? Like yesterday No, it was about Eight nine years ago eight and nine years it was about eight, nine years ago. Eight and nine years ago. Yeah, eight and nine years ago. That was my, I got to stop with the calls. So anyways, back to the original story.

I go to this festival, this conference, as a college representative. And I'll tell you, it was the worst thing ever, because I'm trying to do comedy, but I had to do the little, like when you go to these things as a representative, you have to go to the meetings and, like, sit in a circle or tell,

vote who you want to. Well, you, I, I could have, but I didn't. I got so creeped out because the first day I was in a circle of trust, like, you had to hold hands and tell something personal about, and I was like, this is culty, I'm out, I'm out. This was all just to meet you and other comics. So I finally went to the show that night.

There was you. Do you remember who else was on the show? No, I don't remember. I remember you come out. There was I don't think there was like a little stage. You come out. You fucking annihilate. You kill.

Remember you just up there just hammering the crowd. Right. As soon as you go off, I Saw you leave in the hallway I ran out I saw you walking down with some hot check a couple other people you with a couple of people yeah, and um Like you getting in the elevator and I got in the elevator with you I wasn't going anywhere. I just got in with you and you were leaning up against this this girl was leaning on you You were leaning on her like just the coolest motherfucker ever just killed I was like, hey, how are you doing? I'm Robert. I'm just getting into comedy. And, you know, I don't know if there's anything you can, you can, you know,

give me advice or how you get into it or whatever. Do you remember what you said? No, what did I say? No, man, man, man, man. I'm just getting into comedy. And, you know, I don't know if there's anything you can, you can, you know, give me advice or how you get into it or whatever. Do you remember what you said? No, what do I say?

Nah, man. I'm man. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah. Right now, player. No, man, just do your thing, man. Do your thing. And so you got to do ding. No handshake.

No nothing. I'm in the elevator to do what you do. The fuck? Fuck does that mean? You rolled out. Oh, I had a sweetie pie. I had stuff to do. I had to look better in front of her. You know, I had to make myself. So this girl returns her on is insensitive, hunks of shit, but don't care about any other girl. Any girl on is a guy who thinks who they think have a little power.

Jesus, man. And you gave me more. You were that needed. I paid you. I didn't ask for a better guy. I didn't give it to you. You stole it from myself. You sucked me.

I said I had for a better guy. I was thanks Kelly. You just an asshole. I was panties was down with five minutes in the room. Yeah. Well, you know where I was back in my room, put an ice in a sink for some coax, thinking about my life, because I didn't do what you do. What the? But here's what you did. Here's the kicker. This is why life. This is why life is beautiful. And this is why you always

got to fucking keep yourself and check my friend because not, did that make me quit? No, you know what it did, it made me stow away. I'm gonna set it up, you son of a bitch. I went and I worked at my comedy. I did what I do. I went, I worked, and then like, I think five years later, six years later,

I moved to New York, I hooked up with Matt Frost, who was a comedy agent, who happened to be your comedy agent also. He loved me, I was a new kid on the block. He liked you better than me. A wife who doesn't, who doesn't, everybody we know does. All right. Good move.

So we fucking, we, he gave me a gig with you Which was like to me like oh my god. I'm actually working with the fucking guy But I was talking now too. I know you always had those little shark eyes Set in the back of the room everybody recognize them happy gone and destroyed you just wouldn't leave the room I got a fucking cappuccino. No, some fucking soup nothing You stay there and make sure the guy didn't do that well Really is that so here's the deal we do the show we got to drive first of all I have to meet you I have to meet you in Philly or something like that and then we're going in as a college in Philly

like that. And then we're going in as a collagen filly. That's what I know. He's a shit. No, no, no, no, it was I wasn't really. Yes. Okay. So it was Joe to Rosa to fucking boo. Guys. He's doing pushups now too, by the way. There's up to 40, but not straight. He started out with 15. Now, he's up to 40. He does 40 pushups a day, which I do give him credit.

I should be doing it at least that. But- You're in the North not the same people. They have no muscles in their bodies. Yeah, it's bone with tendons and blood cells. That's it. I told you the time, North was on the fucking stairmaster. Not the stairmaster. Yeah, the stairmaster Stairmaster, not the Stairmaster.

In the gym, and it wasn't working. So I gave him my Stairmaster, and it wasn't working. It was because his legs don't walk upstairs. They kept bending backwards, like a... He's just mushy. Yeah, he's just, he was like, your legs don't have to push down on a machine. But anyways, so we do this gig. It was far out there.

We had a drive. You had just stupid we do this gig. It was far out there. We had a drive. You had just stupid Motown music on. Yes, I do. Oh, I'm one in fire. What's going on? Yes, and Motown. What's going on? It's made me sick. And then we get to the gig. We walk in. And what happened, Keith? Well, I see nothing but Robert Kelly posters all over the fucking place. Oh, it was a good poster. What the fuck Robert Kelly Robert Kelly Yeah, and it must have like in real small print with Keith robbins. I fucking flip you a man. Oh, I was You and you a man. I knew what had happened. You was sitting. I just seen exactly I seen the future You was right then I just seen exactly I seen the future

You mad frost. Oh me to hit the fuck rose Well, it's what you what the new guy you fucking you said yeah, you know what your headlining then young young young gun Like that was gonna be scare me, but I was like, but inside I was like hi motherfucker my shock eyes You went up you killed it and then I went up and just I'm not a fucker, my shock, guys. You went up, you killed it, and then I went up and just tossed it in. I smashed it. I smashed it. I smashed it.

Woo! You're hating me. We got in that car. I think it was four minutes into the trip. You were on the phone firing, Matt. I just a fuck you, you're done. You don't. Fucking, because he ain't showed me no respect.

Yeah, he was. And I love Matt. I always felt Matt, hey, man, stepping to my room and star search, whatever you need. I'm gonna buy everything. Right. And that cocksucker, he fell in love with Robert Cull. Oh, he did. He fell in love.

He got rid of his Pudgy Black guy. I got a Pudgy White guy. And I wasn't Pudgy Black guy. I was. You were going to be with him. I'm thoroughly. You know your mother. Trust me, there's a new guy in the block right now.

I'm you. I'm the I'm a pudgy black guy now There's some kid right now with a hundred colleges making two million dollars this year. I'm fucking at them I'm a fucking Knoxville Shuckle Hut But yeah, that was that was common my friend fucking karma. You deserved every fucking out of it You know, maybe maybe I did but maybe've got to realize I was trying to get some. So I use you, look. I didn't ask you to fucking. So I use you.

I didn't ask you. I see you. I see an advantage. And when a girl is around, you take full advantage. You just go, oh, thanks, kid, to myself. Right. I say, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I told her, I don't know what that fucking fat failure is. I was in fat back then. I was. I don't know what that is. Well, you see in the future. con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

Spectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desesperan. Y paraas, vuelas desde Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que cesorbrenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea, parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I remember you did it simple on the funniest things ever because we walk into the airport and you talk you literally talk to every chick that walk by What's up? What's going on? Hey, yo, yo, where you go? Hey? What's up? And you get all these fucking phone numbers and talking then you walked up to the ugliest Girl I've ever seen this black frumpy TSA Fucking flat ass one tip bigger than the other fucking weave was fucked up Ashy lip fucking bitch you walked up to her study yap into her we're late for the plane I'm like we gotta go we gotta go and you're like yeah hold on hold on shorty relax

Relax we're fine and I'm all nervous because I you know I never really flew anywhere before You walk up you get this girl's number. I'm like why would you get her number and you go practice motherfucker and you walked on the plane that was one of the best things I've ever done. Practice motherfucker. But you but I mean you actually went through that whole stage of holy shit where you were popular you were the shit and then the comedy shit died the fuck out Right out right 98 they start slowing down tremendously and then it picked up again around tough crowd Tough crowd. Yep from tough crowd on you know, it's from tough crowd on it was back again if you back and pop it again Yeah, and the thing that we have in common too, which some people think of

Negativism, but it's not you know people bust our balls about it, but like you know we we I've Middles for Dane a lot right you've Middles for Wanda and You open for Bernie Mac Bernie Mac And the money's there Thousands of people the money yeah and yeah yeah it is what it is And I still closed shows where I can close them. Right. But I'm gonna make that money.

And I mean, here's the thing, the only thing that I thought out about it when I, the last tour I did with Dane is I got stuck into that 25 minutes and I couldn't venture out of it. Right. I just got stuck in it. I just, you know, I had all good intentions. I'm gonna go out there and it doesn't matter. I can do what I want and do new jokes and mess But that I mean those shows were 10,000 20,000 people be you know between there. It's hard

It's in the round and well even I think at a theater too. It's hard because you want to do good You want to go out and try to collect these fans? You know to think about what Bernie I did like 45 minutes. I had to do 45 a show. That's fucking great. Yeah, that's cool. But it's great. But you just think about it. It's 45 minutes. And from a Bernie match crowd, all black crowd. So you got to do 45. And no, you put your can't give him time to think where the fuck is Bernie now. You can't. So you just, oh, my man. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, left, um, Fuck, it's going to be fucking, I forget the name of the girl who leads a sitcom to soon. Oh, from three's company.

Not from three's company from, uh, the other one with all the people on there. With all, uh, the bar around about chairs. She left chairs to soon. We're gonna almost have to go to my wife. No, no, no, no. We don't share the, Shelley, Shelley Long. Shelley Long.

Yeah. So, you know, I mean, when things are, all right, then you can still break off when you break off. So, you know, I mean, one thing, the things are all right, then you can still break off when you break off. Yeah, I mean, I actually, I mean, last tour, I like, look, it, being on the road, I actually talked about this on my other, I did a podcast this week and about, you know, you don't get it. When you're headlining on the road, you know, it was awesome.

When we first came to New York and we were kind of all kind of headlining, but middleing and, you know, we were in the city a lot. We were on a way on weekends. We're all trying to make it hustle and we were all at the clubs on weekends, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. With me, you, Norton, Patrice, you know, Voss, we were all hanging out together doing shit and we go on the road together and do colleges or these gigs. But then all of a sudden when we started becoming popular and successful in the business,

we all started having to go headline. And now you're out there. We're all somewhere else. You know, you can, you know, he billies over here, patrieces in that town. You're in this town. I'm here, headline, and you're on your own. You're alone.

You know, until you're making, you know, 30 grand a weekend, you can, you really can't afford to bring pay for an opener's hotel and their fucking flights and give them good money enough to come out and so it's like you're by yourself man you get to that hotel you're by yourself the middle or in the MCA with the club provide you don't even know these fucking jacks to half the time they fucking staying they're waiting thinking they should be the headliner. Who the fuck is this guy? And they're looking at it. They got the shark eye.

So I had one black kid in the last time I worked for a lot of the day. This black kid would go up and do his shit and kill whatever. But it was whatever. And his last joke was most comics really build a crescendo and build up their act and tell, you know, really save funny, funny joke at the end and really leave on a high note. But look man, you guys go to work,

you don't wait until five, five, you know, five of five and then do all kinds of work in the last five minutes of your day, what do you do? You just leave and then he drops the mic and just walks off. Fucking, almost the standing on every night. I told him, I couldn't take it. I was like, you do that again. I'm throwing a beer sign at your face.

That is the fucking. So we're on the road alone, and it's fucking tough, man. It's hard being out there by yourself and doing these gigs. So when you do go on these tours, it's so much fun hanging out, shooting the shit with the crew, and the people backstage, and the fans, and hanging out shooting the ship with the crew and the people backstage and the fans and hanging out after the show before the show with somebody that you like when we mean Dane an hour on the tour last it was a fucking blast. So you don't have to worry about that anxiety of being alone what are you going to do. You know

what I mean? That's why I figured like I can do wander stuff and still do my stuff and make sure that I do my stuff but it's a lot easier to not worry about the money portion of my stuff but I can get around when I know you know because wanders you know she's pretty generous generous very generous for how she does how generally really good right very good yeah I'm also you go all right but you know way up there that's so yeah I wish I all right so you know me you know we you know we we work together

and that's in there and we're friends for you know 20 some years so the money is always good right it's always good with definitely solid friends. You know how it would treat her because why don't you just open up for me. That's yeah. Yeah. So you know I mean so it's my thing is a great experience. Right. Well see I have fun. I had fun and she liked that but you know there was a point where I was like okay I gotta go and make my bones. I gotta go out there and get over this. I gotta go do an hour

after anybody anywhere anytime and deal with this shit. Right. And make my bones. I gotta go out there and get over this. I gotta go do an hour after anybody anywhere, anytime, and deal with this shit, and collect my fans. You know, because look, I did over a million people last year. You think that I'd have at least half a million fans. A quarter of a million those people would stick to me. But they don't. You find that like all, I mean, you did all those shows that we wanna, they all don't stick to you.

You know what, they don't, but they still do. You know what I mean? It's like with all of Bernie's fans, all the people I see, you know, I go to different places. We see you with Bernie and we love you. Right. Like I had people like even in Chicago,

we just wanted Chicago. This one was like, we want to put your picture out. We keep we love you. Because I've done shows too. Right. And the meantime in between time, I've done different shows with Tough Crow, Wanda Show, all the TV stuff, this, that, that. So I haven't been idle either, either, what I was doing.

So they've always seen me on Conan O'Brien. They've still seen me. Right. So they still know I'm out there hustling. I know I agree with that. I mean, I saw a lot of shows, people come up, we saw you with Dane, we came through and they support. But you think that I would sell out every fucking show because if I did a show with Dame in Edmington in front of 18,000 people twice

All as I need is a thousand people to show up and I'm selling out four shows And all those things that they they don't fans buy hypnosis Have big all those fans of it because it's like that's that internet Love I think it's famed. I have big, all those fans of it. Because it's like, that's that internet love. I think it's fame. I think it's fame. I think it's the, oh my god, he's coming. We get to see him where I'm not famous. You know, you know, look, if I was on a TV show, if you mean you would did it out of show

on fucking TV every week for three years, we'd fill the place up. It's almost a matter of, let's just go see him live because we get to see him. And then you then there's your fans. But you can you know I was always messing with little calf Kevin heart cells out everywhere. Now he's crazy now. But I told him I was going to take him to court to defame him. If he can prove why he's famous. Show me why he's so famous. Right. And then I'll, you know what I mean? Yeah, but why is he? Exactly. No one knows.

The mom is going to the famous. Yeah, you don't know how people get famous. Right. Why do you stick? Now, you know, nowadays that's what I'm saying. There's more, the internet is more to tweeting. There's a lot on the shit and I know exactly, I could trace Eddie Murphy's fame.

I know exactly why he's famous. Right. You know, he was on a Saturday live. He smashed it. Right. 48 hours. This he smashed it. Well, in little calves, little cab was on a soul plane. If a little calf does have that, he's got some, he's got that. He doesn't have a, not, not someone out for a soul out show. I know. Yeah. He's't have a nut. Not someone out four sold out show. I know. He's son of a bitch. Yeah.

He is. You know, but I told him take him in court, and I'm approved, and I'm going to make him take his fame away. I hope that happens. I hope he's fucking take it right away. But you know what, this business will take it away. This business will fucking.

This is business in my prayers. This is all about prayers. But yeah, I mean, this last tour I stayed off and I went and did my own, and let me tell you something. It was like the Matrix, man. It's a different. Dude, when I had to go from fucking a G5, you know, the four-star hotel, thousands of people,

catering, you know, every people holding your bags to coach and, you know, hoping people holding your bags to coach. And, you know, hoping I get on the plane first, so I get my bag up, sitting next to a fucking fatter guy than me. It was the matrix. It was getting on the Nebuchadnezzar again and fucking having short hairs and plugs

in the back of my neck. It was bad. But that's why, like, you know, like I said, I, you know, being a wanderer friend, so I, we, you know, I'm hiring with her and still do what I do I'm still you know put my hour together to do my hour. I'm still gonna keep moving you get an hour Come you want to I'm like yeah, I'm putting it together now, and then you know Stacy Marx is gonna help me you know who's Stacy Marx from a way of Mars. Oh cool. Are you with them?

Why I'm with everybody man. I'm a Mars. Oh cool. Are you with them? Well, I'm with everybody, man. I'm a hell. That's fucking bad. I'm with everybody. I just said, I just, you know, people like me, Robert. They like me. I know we like you. But you know, I'm just putting that together. No, you know, I mean, I'm putting it together, putting it, right? You know, and and put it out. I'm still working. Right. I haven't stopped working. Right. Yeah. You know, and I still, you know, want to do my space with, you know, go do the shows that on my, and I still, you know, want to do my space with, you know, go do the shows that all my own and build that, you know, to tight as I can build.

But I, you know, I'm good. I'm a stand-up matrix. I got one foot to matrix. And one foot on the nebuchadnezzar. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, but me and Juan are such good friends and all that. So it's a very enjoyable experience also. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, but me and one are such good friends and all that so isn't as a very enjoyable experience also

Yeah, well, you know, I mean it was in a joy. It was it I had a good time with them But I mean he was under there was some stress, you know He was under a lot of fucking stress with this bro and all that shit that happened and You know he all that shit happened was pretty fucking I'm not going nowhere He all that shit happened was pretty fucking I'm not going nowhere. I'm just level up I kiss wanted to sleep every night I was busting columns balls about that too because he's you know, he was tough crowd and no and he he ate the story about him saying no to Austin powers he was supposed to be the son in Austin Powers. And he said, no, I'm not into it. I got my

one-man show and this was years ago. And he was like, Colin, I really want you to be in this movie. He's like, no, I'm good. I'm good. Thing winds up being a mega blockbuster. He would have been in three more. He would have been in Hollywood. And they didn't have to mess with our, what we fuss are losing. We know he had brought us all in and he could have been with the real guy. Yeah, and he fucking, and you know where he is now. He's part I told me he's part of the three, the three crews. He's Adam Sandler's little crew now. He's the guy. I'm sad like it. He's Adam Sandler's little crew now. He's the guy. I'm sad like it. He's Adam Sandler's little bitch.

Yeah, he's Adam Colzum. I got a two-minute part. Kitchhands over. Ha ha ha. He's... Ha ha ha ha. So, Sci-FiO Colzum. Hey, breakfast in the morning. You don't even want to get up. He's laying in bed.

Yeah. Sleep. His old dear legs. He's laying around. don't want to get out of bed, sithe phone. I want you to meet me Brooklyn Diner at 7.30 in the morning, be there. Click. Jerry, he's right. And you know what else? He's in me, Joe DeRosa, and Billy's Burr's crew. We put him in our movie. Oh, beautiful. He's a, he, we're giving him things. Oh, that's a good thing, though.

He has stupid collins of it. Yeah, he did. But, yeah, I, uh, it is a, it's just, it's just weird. It's just weird to mean you kind of have similar things with that. With, you know, we're at, I'm trying to work on my hour now, too, which is, uh, you know, it's hard now because hours aren't special We used to be special. They used to but we get them when they're all wrong We get everything one is we got we got half hours when they turned into premium blood

We're gonna get hours when they're fucking half hours. I mean, I mean this so I mean this business stinks It is Thanks, I hate guys you want we all done down this business stinks. This fucking business. Dang it. Like, hey guys, we're all done down. We went an hour. We went through everybody. Hey, we can't find nobody else. Either you do it or canceling our specials.

That's one hour. We're sure you want it. Yeah, we're going to start doing an hour and ten minutes specials. That's exactly what happens. The last fucking wrong, guys. Come on. We'll let you in.

That's not possible. It's closed now. You can come in now. But this is the thing too, is you've never, you've never been married, right? No, never been married. Never. You want to get married?

Ah, shit. This is fucking, I don't know. I don't know. Why? Well, because, I think I got a problem What do you have a problem? It's all right. You can talk about it. I don't have to be My wife is right there, but go ahead She knows

Shot through the heart with a simple Like banging. Yes, I can't stop myself. You just like my 40s. I should stop. Let's not get carried away with lies I'm in my 40s dude. I think you have to say fifth close. You. I'm in my 40s. I should stop. Let's not get carried away with lies. I'm in my 40s. Dude, I think you have to say fifth close. You can't say in my 40s when you close to 50. That's when you say you're in your 40s when you close to 50. No, I can say I'm in my 40s because I'm 40. You just turn 40? I feel like I just turn 40. Yeah. You're fresh 40. You're a fresh 40. Yeah. But what I'm saying is I got to start thinking about who's going to take care of me Yeah, but I am way too. I get an illness definitely wait for I go to the doctor and he says That's what I'm married. I'm just gonna marry a girl. So she'll be there. Yeah, so you're gonna just suck off It's just gonna suck her into being a

Go jogging You want to go jogging? No, I can't. I don't have law. You can allow them like it's an insurance company? Yes, it's gonna be beautiful. And I don't need that marriage. You know what makes... Willing me around in the chair. Change of my diaper.

I'm gonna do the harm what the business has done to me. Wait until it was over and it gave me something. Especially when I did to my wife. She met me when I had hair and abs. But you know, I made her wait until I was bald and had tits. And I was like, do you want to get married? She's like, I guess now. I'm fucking waited this long.

I might as well see it through. Hopefully, I have one more opening. All right, we're going to do a little thing now. It's the end. And you're a tech guy too. I mean, you really, you love tech. You love filling the hole of loneliness with gadgets. Yes, I do.

And well, I mean, you really aggravated me over the years because you have thing was an arco. I love the arco. Okay, thanks. Compared to the iPad, how good love the arcos. Okay, thanks. Compared to the iPad, how good is the arcos? Be honest. Why I didn't get to the arcos. What do you

use it now? I'm using iPad. Exactly. I'm not. I have one. I'm not. And it's the shit. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's better than the arcos. Yes. I can pull up back page.com anywhere. What the hook is back page? I'll worry about it. Mom, I'm fucking

gonna Google it now. I check it out. Look back page. I don't know what back pages or am I lying in front of my wife. That's the game. Just Bob, no. Email me at rkfanandrobiculliiv.com. If you think I'm lying and I know it back pages, or you think I'm telling the truth. And I will let you know next podcast. Oh, what is this? It's all like states, though.

What is states? I just go, what's going on? What happened to go to New York? Go on. All right, we'll go to New York. Any part What's going on? I'm going to New York. Go on. I will go to New York. Any part of, like, New York City. I'm not. All right, New York City.

Roommates, childcare. That's what you think of. I would think maybe household items, you should. Volunteering, you like the volunteer. I like the volunteer. Joe Biz and auditions. That's what you go. Oh, of course. Is that volunteer. I like the volunteer. Joe Biz and auditions. That's what you got. Of course.

That's what you got. Keep going. Wait, what's this sex? What's that? What's sex? What is sex? What the sticky? What's sex?

What's sex? What's sex? What's sex? What the fuck? Hot as hell. I don't even know. New naughty jokes. What is this? Is as hell. I don't even know new naughty jokes. What is this?

Is there an adult section anyway? Uh-huh. I don't know. I don't know. I guess maybe. I don't know. I've never seen this before. Adult.

Oh, adult. Body rubs. So you get like massage. Yes, I'm not feel intense. Dom and fetish. Is that like a restaurant? Yes, that's a new restaurant. What's he S? Yes. Oh. What that like a restaurant? That's a new restaurant. What's T.S.?

T.S.? What the hell is that? You have to agree to this? What the hell is going on here? Rachel, you know it. Whoa! It's a really pretty girl with a really huge dick. You fucking weirdo.

I would never, this is terrible. Honey, I gotta block this from my... how do you block something from your browser? Is it parental controls? Alright anyways we're gonna talk about tech. One of the you have any new tech that you... because I'm a tech junkie I I go to Gizmo every day, any, you know me, dude, anything new comes out. I buy it and then I resell it to you. Well, the guys at the kitchen, yes, the guys in the kitchen, they'll steal it. Right. Um, I mean, I'm, I just got my, my Xbox connected to, uh, the computer

and my PlayStation connected to the computer and stream videos and I'm real with everything on the TV. Do you have that? Yeah, well I have Apple. I have Apple TV, which what do you think of Netflix? Love Netflix is the best thing ever invented. It's for the iPad. When you're in the hotel room and late or you're I'm I go to bed every night with Netflix I'll watch my shows I just put the thing on a pillow on the back of my wife's head as it's as a

stand I'm kidding I'm kidding and I'll put on Netflix unbelievable unbelievable fuck We've actually blockbuster is dead. We went through tapes, records in our lifetime records, tapes, CDs and DVDs. And blockbuster is a rap. It's a rap, dude. Right on your iPad streams perfectly. It's unbelievable. I just remember going to the record store, getting a album, taking a raise, slipping it open and just fucking smelling that album. Yeah. Now I get the music right off and it fucking keeps you. You know more little notes, lighter notes,

and no more thank yous. Right, I know no thank, you know, words with it, nothing. Nothing. But you know, the good thing about it, when you got on a bus on an album, that people didn't like you had a stack album, you got that one album that you really wasn't supposed to have. Yeah.

You know, little gay album had some bullshit songs on it. You can still do that with two live iPods. What do I pop up? I'm just saying, when I download whatever, it's just me and my fucking computer, download and horse shit. Yeah, well, I mean, you can still, if someone's going to hold of my iPod, I'd be in trouble. I'd be in a big... Yeah, I got a couple of songs that's questionable.

Yeah, I got a question myself. What's a song, Gloria Esteban? I really like you. I have this one right here. I have this one ready. Hang on, let me turn off this one. If you... La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, you it's from the movie morning

you know I can't say never but we all have those songs those moments I'm in my car Get away for the get away for the bridge there you go away for the forest there it is This is what motivates me when I'm a lot of business when I'm off at your an airport Oh I can see you in your dumb tiny whiteies brushing your teeth with this song glare I am a fucking homo sometimes it comes to music My iPad I have my you know iPod should I say to all my car and I'm fucking driving but you know you have it on play all playing all the music. So I got a nice fucking Dr. Drainstube Dr. natural born killer's blaring, natural born.

It's a yeah, yeah, they call me dad. But I'm fucking thumping and a kid comes up and I'm about to argue with this guy. And I'm about to really get into that. Had a reef of Franklin. You make me feel like a natural woman. I just drove off. I'm like, oh, man. I'm trying to turn it down.

I could get to it fast enough. That happened to me with my iPhone. I was on a plane and the headphones pulled out and it just started playing. It was a girl so I think it was like what the fuck's that? No no no it was Kelly Clarkson. It was Kelly Clarkson. I put that all black on and it looked like a bald tough guy and then pulled it out Kelly Clarkson. Just got it sent in. But anyways, yeah, I have all my stuff hooked up to the TV. I have an Apple TV upstairs, Apple TV downstairs, which lets me, whatever's on my iPad, I push a button and it goes to my TV. Okay.

It's a hundred bucks. If you have a hundred bucks to spend on anything, get an Apple TV, you hook it up at one HDMI cord, whatever's on your iPad or your computer in iTunes You hit a button and it just sends it so if you're watching a movie on your iPad Something like with the eye what I got IFC or something where you can drag movies To your iPad to watch on a plane like I put movies that I yeah, I Allegedly I mean legally, but it could be considered illegal. Yeah, you borrow that I borrowed for a couple of hours. You're reviewing. I

reviewed that. I'm a little reviewer. Right. And I put them on there on by the app. Yeah, you can put them up on your TV. Really? Yeah, it's just every movie that's in there. There's a little button on the side that says, you know, you push it and it says it will bring up your Apple TV and it will shoot it right to your main TV. Are you kidding? Yeah I can do it from upstairs or downstairs or whatever yeah it's pretty pretty amazing. Where do I go to Apple TV? Go to Apple store would probably be my guess. All right do I tell them that I steal? No don't tell them that. Just where do I get the Apple TV? Where do I get? I need to play these

movies. Yeah, though it's good. 99 bucks, it's fucking great. But the thing that I just got that's really interesting, the mic I'm using from my podcast, which I kind of upgraded, is called the Blue Yeti microphone, which is an amazing microphone. I've talked about it before.

It's great. But I got this other one. It's from the same company. It's a mini microphone that it's a USB microphone. It doesn't have all the options you have on the Yeti, but it actually records really good. And it's really compact. It's USB. You can take it out. It's for when I'm doing a podcast by myself. I can actually plug this in and it picks up great. It's the mini blue microphone. It comes in its own little case. It's actually really cool if you're going to do podcasts on your computer

by yourself. It's not really that good if you're going to do two people like I'm doing right now. But if you're doing it by yourself, it's really, really good. I suggest that. And that's about it, dude. I guess we did some tech. That's the tech that you got. That's it? That's the Yeti? Well, that's what you offer your people, the Yeti? The Yeti.

I mean, there are many people in your listeners want to get a Yeti. Well, I mean, it's not called the Yeti. The one I'm actually promoting is not called the Yeti. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not called the Yeti. The one I'm actually promoting is not called the Yeti. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, let me tell them how to steal a movie. It's actually called the snowflake. It's called the snowflake. That's what I call white girls. You know what they call you.

Oh, what? What are you calling? KWR Student Stars. I think I was going to say Nigger. Oh, I'm kidding. He raised that. I can I was gonna say Nigger. I'm kidding. I can't erase it. It's not a professional podcast. Look at my wife when her eyebrows went up.

Easy. Like the dogs back up. Yeah, it's called the snowflake. It's blue. You can go to the website. Bluemic.com. It's a really unbelievable. And then they have a Yeti Pro that just came out. God damn it

That's what sucks about technology. Do you want to buy your microphone? Do you want to do a podcast? I told you already what did I tell you about what they have already the biggest one already they just selling you pieces at a Com I told you they have that what did I tell you to have? They just selling you pieces at a time. I told you they have that what did I tell you to have I pad seven No, the I said they had the iPad seven. No, yeah, they do believe don't the iPads Deluxe the locks here in asshole I have the iPad the Lux already and everybody I tell you that people who know stuff will tell you that I know what I'm talking about you know the iPad that locks the I had the Lux again

I'm gonna break my I've had the luxuries. Say I had the luxuries. Again, I'm going to break my iPad over you. Say the luxuries. They just sell you. I've had one. Don't say the way the luxuries are. They have iPad the luxuries. I promise you that. They don't, they're sub-saying the luxuries.

You fucking 70s out. But only about five people have them. Stop saying the luxuries. Call it anything else but the luxuries. All right, I've had 7D. 70, that's fine. I've had 7D. It's already out. And I bet most of your listeners will tell you that the 7D. 70, that's fine. I bet 70 is already out.

And I bet your most of your listeners will tell you that the 70 is already out. No, they're not. They're going to go, you're an idiot. No, they're not. They have the idea for the next one and maybe the next one after that. And they have what they might want to do,

but the technology, it's not about the data. Do you think Steve Jobs is walking around? What do I've had 70? Is the D-mean Deluxe? Steve Jobs is walking around? What's iPad 70? Is the D-mean deluxe, are you sneaking into deluxe? 70, what is the D-stan for? I'm not saying, I'm not at liberty to say. But I know that there's iPad 70 already made. Look, I believe that the tech know it once a year,

they put out a new thing. And right now they're working on the iPad 3. I bet the iPad 3 is almost done if not done and they're coming up with concepts for iPad 4, but they don't have iPad 7. Yeah, it does. It's not made. Yeah. It's not made.

All-in-a-big, all-people have it. Who has it? Bill Gates. He doesn't have it. Bill Gates opened up. Yes, he does. He had his seven days. You know what? Bill Gates, Oprah, and Obama. They all have the seven it. Bill Gates opened up. Yes, he does. Yeah, he has a seven day. You know what Bill Gates

Oprah and Obama they all have the seven day you're an asshole. I'm not you're an ass and what King Farak in Egypt Who's it? I just got I was didn't he just cut I was the way to get out Shut up. All right, anyway, that's fucking it. That's my tech fucking tip to get out. You shut up. All right, anyway, that's fucking it. That's my tech fucking tip. Wait a minute, why can't I?

Because you stink at 7D. I'm trying to take the IPAD 70. There you go. I'm telling you, your listeners about real tech, the IPAD 70. I'm telling them about things that existed that they can go by, which is the snowflake from that white girl. It's not.

All right, Keith, thanks for coming on. What about the 7D? Shut the fuck up. We're not talking about the white girl. I keep thanks for coming on. What about the 7D? Shut the fuck up. We're not talking about the 7D. Do you want to buy this microphone? I'm selling. I don't need that big stupid microphone. It's a great microphone.

I do like it. I might have to sell it. If you want to buy it, just have it set in my house. How about 600 for everything? You know what? Hold up. Don't touch it because it's very expensive. All right.

All right. What? Can I just have it in my house and talk to girls? Yeah, you can hook it up to your computer. And I can hear me. Yeah, it's, yeah, you can, like a middle or like a Midwest middle or your headshot. This should be the, you should be holding this on the cover of your hour special.

That's exactly what I'm going to do. If Bruno fucking Jackass. All right, man, we're on it. Not folks. I'll buy a seven day. And what's your, what's your, What's your email address? Oh shit? I mean what's your website? Well, I don't have no fucking web series, man Right, she just talked about the multi-media and how you need all that and how people become famous

You don't have a website. I'm not trying to be true. You have a Facebook. Yeah, Facebook Facebook. Hey everybody out there I want to see how many fans robiners least five of you Facebook me when you hear this Keith Robinson KWR Superstar, baby. Yeah. Okay, that's it. Do you have a Twitter? I got. Yes, I do have a Twitter. What's that? Keith Robinson number one. I haven't been on it. At Keith Robinson. At Keith, whatever it is. I haven't been on it. What did you do? I want you to go home. Anybody who listens to this. I want you guys to tweet Keith at at Keith Robinson number one. How is it?

Robins in number one, like the the Keith Robinson number one. Does it say number one? Or is it a little key for the one key for Robinson? Either Keith Robinson number one or one key for I just look man, you're people with acres.

Can't stand you. I pay. Make sure you make sure you go to make sure you go to make sure you go Tie tunes and subscribe to this the way you subscribe the way this thing is gonna get up to charts as if you subscribe to it Subscribe Relive a review and spread the fucking word of the you know what do podcasts Kate. Thanks for coming on. Thank you, man I'll talk to you later. Thanks Robert. Hello You know what I'm doing? You know what I'm doing?

Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what I'm doing? Really, dude, really, really, really. you