Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - L7

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

Sal Vulcano and Rich Vos join Bobby in studio to talk working with friends and the origin of Impractical Jokers! Plus an international phone call from Joe DeRosa! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You know what dude on the riotcast network riotcast.com Football season is here and now that we're underway I want to know how you doing. You went in that office pool? No? Well, how would you like to double your money? You heard me. Double it. Guaranteed.

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when you play at Bettea's eye. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophile. It's podcast. It's my guess. It's no rule. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I... Can I get a mic?

No! What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and happening. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's... ...tanned in no topics, no directions. I love doing it.

Play both sides of the coin. That's not what a host is. Not a huge motherfucker. Topics no directions. I love doing it The day my podcast is popular're up so that's small. My arms are like that's a manly thing. It's not a manly thing. Being hairy is very manly. You think so don't think that's a manly thing. It's not a manly thing. Being hairy is very manly. You think so? I think so.

I'm very hairy on the chest. Yeah, I know, I've seen it. You shave it, too. My legs were bald. Completely bald. Socks, I have bald from my socks down. I don't have some socks. My dad's legs were bald.

I think I just have it in my head. What, you're a client? Half. Half. Half what else? Spanish Puerto Rican and Cuban. That's it. That's there. Oh, is that what it is? Spanish people on Harry Spanish people had hair if you went away. Yeah, yeah, it died on you. Yeah, now your pubes still hot Hot, you know, like you still got a nice bush fat. Yeah, but I'm take it down

I don't when you get older your pubes die, right, Voss? No, I pardoned them down the middle. For like special occasions, or something? Sometimes I'll give it a process. Sometimes in a half row. I think it's giving us something. I corn row it. I think it depends what mood I'm in. I shaved one time, all my pubes, because you're summer,

and I don't want to get a tick, so you can see ticks down there. What are you doing? Why would you get a tick on your pubes? That's where ticks go in warm areas and hairy warm areas. On fucking people who are two foot three. No, they crawl up your legs to me, you think they don't crawl their tits. They're settled down.

Don't get so angry right out of the gate. I'm not angry, but I know ticks. Put your hat back on, relax. I know ticks angry, but I know ticks. Put your hat back on relax. I know ticks. I give a me a tick. Oh, what did he say? He said he can't say it. Oh shit. What the fuck? No, it's been sincere, that's like what spider? I listen real quick, we got a hot shot tonight. Oh my God. I'm very excited about the show.

But before we get it, we got Blue Apron, Blue Apron delivers farm fresh ingredients, step by step recipes to your door. Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. Blue Apron achieves this by what? Supporting more sustainable foods, setting the highest standard for ingredients and building a community homeless chef, do you use it? You ever use it? I have. It's great. Yeah. I just went to my uncles up and he's up in the white mountains. Middle of fucking nowhere. And he gets blue apron delivered up

there. Yeah. Yeah. Two times a week. Him and his wife moved up there, moved out of the Boston area. He's got a compound up in the woods on a lake. You know the ungold and pond. Remember that movie? Of course. That lake is the lake. Like Jane Fonda? Yeah.

He lives on that lake. One of the top five lakes in the world. What do you make top five? I made that up. I made that up. I don't know the name. You ought to call me out. Is that Brook Shields?

No, that was Blue Lagoon. That's Blue Lagoon. All right. Bond Lagoon, I don't know. Yeah, he does. Blue Gold. So anyways, he has blue. That's blue. All right, Pawn Lagoon. Yeah, he does blue gold. So anyways, he has blue. Blue, blue. Thank you for being blue back into this. Blue, that's why you're professional.

How was it? I was talking real quick though about bowling branch sheets because these sheets, no, I'm kidding. We don't use them. You don't use them? Everybody does. Everybody uses that. We're just getting ahead of the curve.

We do Brooklyn. I have Brooklyn. Yeah, they're great.ew we do Brooklyn and I have I have Brooklyn Yeah, they believe that I swear I do great Um, how works is this sound I boy boy shut up. I'll tell you in a second. Thank you. Sal You choose your chef design recipes, right? And then we deliver fresh not we them deliver fresh seasonal inspired ingredients fresh, not we, them, deliver fresh, seasonal, inspired ingredients. All right.

Let Blue Apron do the meal prep for you, my friend. Back to school easier than ever. Dinner is less than 20 minutes. That's why my wife likes it because she's always going like this. What are we going to eat? That's, you know, your stay at home mom lunch dinner. What do you have? What do we have for the, I don't, I feel bad for it because she's like, I don't fucking know. I've done dinner every fucking bad for it. She's like, I don't fucking know.

I've done dinner every fucking night for you guys. I don't know. Bobby, it takes the guesswork out of it. Exactly. It takes the guesswork out of it. You know what? It just shows up, cook that. And you know what, she actually leaves things out,

adds things, she makes it her own. Well, I mean, listen, we've had this. We've had this, it's great. But if your wife doesn't know what you're cooking, maybe you should just leave her a list in the morning what you want. Well, how would that help Blue Apron though? Yeah, from Blue Apron, what they want from Blue Apron.

When we got Blue Apron, I would send him, I like this is because my wife eats vegan, a vegetarian, I like this. Oh, because they let you choose from a range of recipes. So I'll say that's the thing. I want this and feel it. Well, you look for a quick meal or range of recipes. That's the thing. I want this. Well, you're looking for a quick meal or easy or full culinary cooking spread.

But we're going to let you pick it, Sal. Chef designed recipes, buddy. And they're exciting. September's partnership out of the, oh my, it's crazy. It's Bob's Burgers inspired a whole 30 approved recipes. They have crispy chicken tenders and mashed potatoes, pasta and creamy tomato sauce. Wee.

Tell me more. I'm going to tell you more. So check this out. Weeks, the week's menu, get your first three meals free. You could use this. Free, the first three meals free, blueepim.com. Slash, what do you think it's called? Bobby Kelly.

No, no. Now, why would that be so long? Why can't it be D? No, I mean, that's short. You're on the right track. But dude. Dude. Same amount of I be D? No, that I mean that's short. You're on the right track, but dude. Dude. Same amount of letters though. That's why you're smart.

Why can't we do D-U-D-E? What? D-U-D-E. No, D-U-U-U-U-D-E. Dude. No, it's yeah, it's blueepin.com slash. Dude, D-U-D-E. It could be D-E.

Moon is M-O-O-D. So why wouldn't it be D-O-O-D? You're putting me in a very bad mood. Okay. That blue apron.com slash dude. D-U-D. Because now I know you have moody in your head because of fucking idiot.

To get your first three meals free, blue apron. It's a better way to cook. There we go. He's thinking about my, he's seeing. No, you know what I like in this too? A couple of years ago, I got a little busy. I was traveling a lot. I wanted to take the guesswork out of my outfits So what I did was really I just put like 20 black v-necks Yeah, it's what I'm then when I'm ready to go pack for the weekend. I don't think of anything

I take the thing and I put in the bag and it takes the guesswork out of it So I think blue apron is like the black v-neck of gourmet home You're forgetting one thing so it apron is like the black v-neck of gourmet home. But you're forgetting one thing, Sal. It's not just the black v-neck. It's not a crappy, you know, my shirt, my t-shirts, these shirts right here, 25 of a pop. Right. 25 of a pop.

And I go by around 10 of them. Yeah. And I get a section of material. And then you know, you mean, is what you, I know it's what I wasn't. What do you mean is money? It's, it's just, you get a good point. But, I do the same thing.

I use a T-shirt. I use Harbor something. Harbor, bizarre. You're right, is it the fact I store? I'm gonna go to the Excel. You know why? Because I have to get 2x tall Because when I when I do this on stage

I remember once how I did this on stage and I saw a girl point and my My my lower half of my stomach was sticking out. I hate to watch all I almost cried Have to me once is mortifying. Oh, so when you have fucking belly sticks out that bottom part Do you know what happened to me on stage once? What? I wouldn't say this should I first start? Wait a minute, why did you just get so cute? I never stopped. I never seen this.

I thought this, why are you cute? I knew you had that in you the whole time. I never seen rich boss cute in my life. Listen, listen honey. This is when I first started comedy. I was wearing in my life. Listen, listen, honey. This is when I first started comedy. I was wearing, you know, white paint. Remember, paint a pants when it was style. Yeah, with the hammer thing, yeah, yeah.

So I didn't have any underwear on. So I went to the bathroom, my Pete. And I didn't realize, I get on stage and someone yells, he's got pee-states. He goes, yellow stains up and down. I'm just going to go, I'm just going to go, he's yellow stage up and down. He's got pea stage. Oh, did I bomb? Did you acknowledge it or not?

I did. I did. I loved it all. We used to have, when I was in the improv group with Dane Cook and Al Dominguez and this kid Jay Hall. Improv group? I started improv. Yeah, out on the monkeys it was called. Sketch and improv.

That's how I started. I started in comedy too. Really? Yeah, yeah. I can't believe that. Oh, absolutely. Sketch and improv and I remember the worst improv people ever.

If something worked a week before we just keep it. I'm just, I can, go from improv to sketch. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I think we talked about this before. Did we talk about it before? A little bit, a little bit. We had a projector and it fell apart. And the projector, the wheel, that big wheel with all the shit, rolled down the thing and it killed it, fucking murdered.

It was like, we went with it, we tried to recreate it the next week. And it fucking murdered it was it we went with it we improv we tried to recreate it the next week and it wouldn't it just wouldn't come out and then I just took it and threw it all the shit came out it was a fuck we just bombed with the improv but anyways we had this one improv where it was a bathroom scene it was a sketch actually it was a bathroom scene and there was one guy taking a shit two guys taking a shit and then I came in and the two guys at the urinal and we started singing like you know one guy's just tapping his foot and then I got in a building building his arms that's had to be you and we're doing the showtom number and we pull our pants down at the end of it and we always had I always

had box of shorts with tidy whiteies underneath it so my fucking pay you didn't whip out. I forgot to put the box of shorts on the tidy whiteies underneath the box of shorts. My friend, the kid Al, the Benning, his mom, and sister in the front row. And I whip my pants down and my fucking dick just flipped out of the... I felt, you know, you can feel you dick the air. There's a different air when you're dicks outside. I just felt my dick and I was like,

it had to be you and I put my hands up. My dick just went thunk and hit the kids and I went, his pack up. I just literally was pointing at my dick on stage. So everybody's just looking at my cock. I was in barrison. It was so embarrassed because I don't have a great, I have a nice dick when you get it going.

Yeah, me too. But it's so, yeah, just like that. you have the tidy whiteies on the knee case. I had them on a knee case, but you have pants on. Why would you have it? I have tidy whiteies, box of shorts, then pants. No, but I understand, but if you weren't intending on pulling your pants down, why do you need the tidy whiteies? The box, you pull the underwear down the boxes

and they think he's pulling down his pants. Oh, my pants. Because it was a sketch not in the bathroom. So you knew that was happening. Yes. Oh, I thought you just did it like day to day just for like just a big day. Yeah, but I did. Just in case you pulled me back.

That's when I'm defending Lily vigorously. Sorry. So yeah, it was good. Got you. Yeah, my dick came out in front of my friend's mom. She kind of liked it though. Would you fuck your friend's mom? I don't have any friends.

I'm nothing as ever been said true around this fucking. Well, I thought my friends, when I was young, yeah, they always wanted to. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I already fucked mine. Why would I fuck your friends? No. I'm not.

How do you make it worse? How can you make it worse? Oh, you make it worse? I know, is your mom hot? What's your mom hot? What she was younger, she was pretty. My mom was. How do you know? My mom was young when they were pretty. Every single picture, it's like 30 years ago, you're like, holy shit.

No matter whose mother it is. My mom had a good look. I've seen some of my friends' moms and their fucking moms have been terrible their whole lives. I mean, it's sad when your friend's mom just turns the poo like later in life. But my mom was smoking. I mean, my mom was fucking smoking back in the day. I've seen pictures of my mom. My mom got pregnant when she was 15 with my my sister and I was a

sister got your mom pregnant no my my mom was pregnant with my sister at 15. No And she had your sister at 16. No, she had my sister at 15. No, she got pregnant when she was 15. Yeah, nine months Oh, it's always the first three months of fifth. I know I don't you know what let's call her how's that? I don't fucking know what the fuck my dad sent me a picture two days ago of my grandma who passed away But from 1940 and he he just was showing you take a look at the car He didn't know I was gonna realize it was my grandma too, and he was still gonna show up. He's look at that car And I'm like is that grandma? Yeah, that's her from 1940. I mean she's smoking Yeah, that's her from 1940. I mean, she's smoking. Let me see.

She's pretty. Whoa, that's your grandma? Yeah. I don't say it, boss. I don't know. It's a grown picture. I mean, it's what? Now, 80 years ago.

That's a cool, wow. Yeah, my mom was smoking, too. Isn't that weird? Because you can't think of them. You can't think of your grandparents. I mean, I don't think she's hot like that. My Bible blocked that out. She's my mom.

I'm telling you right now, she's smoking a lot. Here's my mom when she was young. That's your daughter. Oh, fuck. Fuck it in here. Oh, here, here. Here's my family was young. That's a little cow.

That's a cut out cardboard of him. He's a really? He's probably taller. I know one of it, my mom. So you guys said you had something to tell me. You wanted to tell me something. I wanted to know, I wanted to know, because you guys were going at it before we started. Yes.

And I always see this dynamic between you. And I wonder when you're alone, when you're off mic, when you're just hanging out and everything, is there ever, and if so, how long is a span of you guys, just relaxing and speaking without any intent of a dig, sarcasm, joking, do you ever just both completely lay your guards down and go X amount of time just conversing like the average person? I'll let you answer that, Rich.

Yeah, just times when we're talking serious, like the average person. I'll let you answer that, Rich. Yeah, just times when we're talking serious, I'm the phone, you know, about the business or talking about, you know, maybe I have anxiety or something that I have an issue with recovery or something. Where your dynamic won't creep in after a couple of minutes. Like, you know, we still one joke here and there maybe if I'm talking about recovery or something right, but you know We've never what I'll answer the question because you're not answering. I just answered. I said yes

Sometimes you should not be in truthful. You don't think we've had real talks where I think we I think we've what he's saying is Have we ever talked a full conversation without one of us have we ever talked a full conversation without one of us fucking busting the other ones balls and the answer is no. No, of course not. The answer is, that's why I have, I have civilian friends, I have a couple squares in my life that L7s. L7s squares. You didn't know that?

That's what you call squares L7. That's why I won't get a gun license because I fucking shoot him right now. Literally right in his shoulder. It was also cute though. You like it? You never heard L7? That's two cute things you did in the past.

Why do you have that in your life? L7, I've heard of it. No. No, if I could do it again. Do I have? Do you? Because I think it's, but I also can't. No, I have serious and I have joke and I,

but even with my jokiest of book break and bull's friends, it's not like that 24 cents. It's not like that. With him, yes. With, I think with Colin, yes. I think with Keith, yes. But I have other friends. I have friends that I don't fuck with

At all I don't know because no comics no, there's comics that I don't do that with cuz they don't have a sense of humor No, because this you can't not everybody's the same dude not everybody like Someone that like you have a relationship with but you just don't break balls like that DC Benny really? I love DC I love DC Benny's a sweet guy oneC. Benny. I love D.C. Benny. He's a sweet guy, one of those funny guys, but I don't have that right. I don't have that relationship where I'm like, you know, what's up, fuckface. You know what I mean?

I can walk in and see him and immediately say something to him. And it's fine. But we can't fluctuate. I do like to be able to go in and out of the conversation like that, but I have friends. I have certain friends that I, we don't talk like that ever, but I have the squares. But here's the thing.

I have man friends. Like, I like building shit. I like making shit. I like my backyard. I put the fence up in my backyard. I'm talking about friends turn around. Because I like a mansion. Comics mostly aren men are you they don't do shit? Are you keep never built anything in your life? Are you kidding me? I tell you right now. I haven't that's not true

What are you three model fucking houses? All right, that was because you were crack out of any money. No, no, I said I used to have a business I had fucking seven guys work. Why are you getting so okay? Cuz you say things that you don't know We mean I don't know I said things that I know I never built anything are you crazy when I was Listen to you fucking stew not when I was fucking You know

I wish okay, why are you turning I'm not listening I'm Respawn to be saying number built anything I'm too good to be saying the number of bills anything. I'm a callin' else. I'm a callin' else. What a fuck I haven't built anything. Are you fucking kidding me? This is all seven over here. I used to build houses.

Listen, the artist. Are you should build houses? Shut up, say. How's a framework? How maybe? Hard to. Do not know. Are you should remodel?

I was a framework. You know, I used to have a framework. That means the frame houses. So you would do like the first wave of framing, the frame, yeah, but I did rule. How easy that is. How easy is, what's a header?

What's a header? A header is the fucking beam up atop. No, it is. It is. It's above the door, you fucking thing. What are you saying? A beam up top, excuse me. You're sitting up top.

That's a raft or you fuck. No, I didn't say it top of holding the house up. Not a support beam. I didn't say rafter. You said Adda, I said the thing up top. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking phrase in exact time. I'm talking about the door.

What? A top of the door. I said on top. What if I could do a fucking out of seven? Did you get your hands dirty or did you delegate to the seven people that worked for you? No, I got my hands dirty. I wasn't big on climbing ladders.

What I'm saying is he lives in a townhouse. Does nothing. Yes, I do. Who do you think does the work in the townhouse? Yeah, I do. Does not. Who do you listen to the other day? I live in a house.

I live in a home. I did miss a bathroom. You have to go in, don't you? But here's the thing. I had a shed put in. Yes. And I remodeled the whole inside with some of my man friends. You did it.

You're going to lose. I went to fucking Home Depot, Lose, yeah. Went in, I learned how to do it, how to put the installation wall, sit, you go on YouTube, because the fucking guy with a hair lip, he did it from YouTube. You wanna, yes, all of it. Everything's on YouTube. I learned how to cut a mango on YouTube.

I can't look at it. I can't put an installation, that's crazy. I think it's probably on spec. What's that mean? You know what, on the spec, you. None of it's probably unspec. What's that mean? You know what? To cut you. First of all, you draw out the dimensions and you do it exactly to... Unspec.

Listen, here's the thing. Is I did it on myself. Unlike Kim, he hasn't done the day's work. And how long? Shh. Shh. Oh! What the fuck?

What the fuck? What was that? What the fuck? All right, wait. If we pick a project, like a woodworking project, that was in both of your realm of tax, tax expertise, and you both had to do it. Who's would come out more solid? Oh, mine. Yeah, that is mine.

This is something that I'd love to see right now. This is out of your mind. What about something that I think a doorbell? I start one second. Have you been to my house? Did you see my pirate ship? Yes. How great is my pirate? You build a pirate ship. Yeah, I built a fucking pirate ship. Yeah, I have a zip line in the back

Oh, you built a zip line with the You got it. I mean it's two-hound house. Yeah, okay, okay, you build a pirate ship, but a zip line I know a pirate ship. I built two slave ships I'm a pirate ship. I built two slave ships Why would you why let's go? Come on, we're making strides here. The L.E.s was I mean everybody it was a multicultural nice I mean nobody watched it, but it was a multi-culture I would love maybe there's a charity component here. What is that not what you guys do? But I don't know maybe that not what you guys do but but

I don't know maybe that's good you block it that but why don't we pick why don't we pick something and then you guys build it We'll do a whole contest around it. I'm just way say away say it. I'm giving you guys work. Yes, but I was very fun But what are we gonna do? What are we? But Sal I'm worried about you Why because Later on hang on let me fix you You ought to be able to build up. How about this? I'll build one too. I'll do it off YouTube. How about, how about, exactly come out good then?

But you got a tie in it, it's gotta happen. It's not, I had to call my father over a few months back to literally, I mean, he taught me and I did it after that, but to hang all my, hang all the stuff and I moved and I had to hang stuff. I got a tool, folks. Dude, I got a tool shed. I know. Yeah, I got a fucking, I. Dude, I got a tool shed. I know.

Yeah, I got a fucking, I got a, I got a mitre saw. Oh, yeah, guess what I, yeah. I don't need a mitre saw, I have a mitre box. Dude, a mitre box is garbage. Yeah, especially when you don't know how to use it. I don't use a mitre box and you use it to frame photos to hang on the wall. Or for molding.

Yeah, you can use it for molding. What's my menu? Crowd molding, a regular molding. You guys should have a show together on HGTV together. Yeah, it would be three episodes and more we get hit by a fucking two by four. No, I mean, jail. I was putting in a fucking stamp. You watch a language. I'm trying to get this show more money on YouTube and your party mouth is fucking restricting that you fucking content. I said slave ships. I mean Jewish slaves when we were slaves not when they didn't have ships. You weren't shipped anywhere. Oh, I mean trains. Jesus. What the hell. I what I would you say my Lord's name in vain who said your Lord's name Jesus

I was talking about his heritage. He's Spanish I was trying to you know Competition I'll do anything I'll be what I mean first of all what are we gonna build where Where are we gonna build it? And when I build stuff, I'm saying something simple. Like a bird house. A bird house. How about that? I already built one.

I already have one in my front. Sorry. And I etch. And I etch birds on the back with a fire. A nice mailbox. I'll do the dog house. I'm making nice Victorian dog house. A Victorian dog house.

How many colors is a Victorian house painted? I'll tell you what I'll tell you how many colors. Oh, okay Jackie Gleason Colors is What do you have made different colors is a Victorian house five? No three three or more? It's five Realize back in the day. Okay. That's not building. That's painting you, sissy boy. I'm talking about building.

I'm picking up shit. I listen, Sal. I literally have a stack of wood in my back from pallets to whatever. And I keep it there from projects. And I'll go, my son a month ago says dad I want a balance beam I said all right. Let's go build one backyard got a four by four sanded it down got some two by fours I got some quarter inch platt and I built the fucking balance. He's active Thank you. You you've retired. Do you think I'm out of retirement?

Yes, you're here to be rusty man. You're sitting. He lives in a house where he has all the room to pull all the time. I live in a townhouse. So my toilet broke the other day. I fixed it. I went out, bought the parts and fixed my toilet. My ether broke, middle of the winter last year. I went on YouTube, fixed it. Yeah, you can't say that.

Fixed it. Went on YouTube. I took the fucking thing off. I found the valve. I boom, I can fix it. When on YouTube, I took YouTube, I took the fucking thing off. I found the valve, I boom, I cleaned it off, I put it back, reset it, reset it there, flipped it back on, bang. I saved myself around $1200. How many bundles in a square? How many bundles in a square?

How many assholes are in this room? Oh no. How many bundles in a square? Three or more. Three. I'm taking a Victorian house or something. You know how many bubbles in the square three or more three Here's the pot. See sell here's the problem. No stuff. You go on YouTube I know what I'm saying. I know I know stuff. I know stuff. I do stuff. I don't have to do I don't have stuff. Okay. I know this is almost like the the hype before a price fight like I like what's that I like other time to impress you Okay, I am impressed

I haven't known a single thing either When somebody when when you are building a house and the people come in put to the sheet rock up Do they tape it or do they bring in other people to do the taping? Oh, she rock people do they tape it? No, they don't tape it who Who does? The fucking tapers. Yeah, you're right. I will say that because I tricked you. You're a trick question, though. You haven't done it, though.

Can I ask a question? Can I say something? Because around a year and a half ago when I built my shed, I put the walls up and I insulated with Rucksaw. What's Rucksaw? What's Rucksaw? What's Rucksaw? It's an insulation.

What kind? It's non-fiber glass installation. What is it? What kind is it? It doesn't go up on flames and it blocks sound. Thank you, Sal. Thank you, because I had that put in my house. But somebody else did it.

Oh, yeah. OK, I just said what it was. I didn't even know, because I was in use in that back in my day. Here's the problem. Here's the problem. What's happening? And you already said, I don't know anything. I didn't say you didn't. You said I don't.

I said comics. No. And then you flipped out. No, you said to me, let's go ahead. You said, and I never degraded you because I think you're good at what you do when it comes to building. I think you're a very good builder. But you said to me, I haven't done anything in years. 30 years. 30 years, you haven't done it. What have you done in the last 20 years? What have I done in the last 20 years? What have you built in the last 20 years? A reputation?

Exactly. I don't know. I didn't say a good one. No. Well, what I used to do. Stop pointing your glasses at me like an old hand. Okay, okay, put them down. I feel like I'm being yelled at at the fucking, the DMV.

Okay. Put your fucking glasses down. Let feel like I'm being yelled at the fucking, the DMV. What you fucking class is that? Let me tell you something, young man. I'll tell you, young man. When I was living alone, what you always are. When I had, which is Bonnie's dream. When I had bad anxiety, which I'm getting at. Happy anniversary, thank you. When I had bad anxiety, I used to buy old furniture and

strip it and remodel it. I used to do that. Yeah I know I'm sorry that I was too mad story. I got two mid-century chairs were I found them in the trash to probably were 600 each now. Yeah I got a fucking a picture from a garage sale from Barbara Nietzsche's that's probably worth $5,000. I pay $2. Yeah, no, I actually took a second and ECH House. I took a chair of the garbage mid century contemporary out of the garbage. It's where it was nothing. It was such a career. I did it. I did it. I did my somebody else's creativity and have on your cell. I took something and I went to a garage sale

border. I want you. I want you. I want to go to one of them. But in the process you're more I went to a garage sale but an old arm war that was falling apart. What was it? An arm war rebuilt it. What do you think it's called? Rebuilt it. I just asked you to say again. Beautiful. I used to use as an entertainment center. And that asked you to say again, beautiful. I used to use as an entertainment center. And that was back, you know, when I was single. I, you know, in the normal, do you know in the normal

arts? Yeah, of course you do. I didn't get to sell sell. I mean, as a mean, no, man, I mean, I said it with a tone. I didn't say it with a tone. To me, not to him, okay? Do you take fucking the sound of the normal,

so the normal artist? Yes, I think it does. So he does. So I turned it into an entertainment, but it was beautiful. Put the glasses down. I still have, I still have a piece of furniture at home. I can tell my wife and now to go take Okay, so he does so I turned it into an entertainment, but it was beautiful Break them I still have a piece of furniture at home. I could tell my wife are now to go take a picture of it Send it that I remodel. Why do we do that? I'm gonna do that. Do that.

It was Bobby have your wife sent something that you We have it right here. No, he builds Fuck I have two chairs. Did I for where you gone a fuck? Let's let's just compare both and look at craftsmanship. Do me a favor. Can you go downstairs? You know the The cabinet that has all the pictures on top of it Downstairs. Why wouldn't you hold them on more just now though? You know what I'm can you take a picture of it? Dust it off first

Make it look good. Take a picture and text it to me. All right, because it's just, I have to have a picture of it if you have it. It'll take you one minute, please. All right, I want to, can you do it off air? Do we have to hear you? Bob is saying, Bobie saying, what are on speaker? Oh, I'll put your speaker in. I mean, what the fuck are you on?

Bobie, Sal's here. Happy anniversary. Sal said happy anniversary. Thank you. Happy anniversary, Bonnie. The skirt said it. So, Gabby. Gabby. Gabby. So, I just want to show a picture of something that I refinished that I was on its last leg.

We're talking about remodeling and refinished. How handy am I around the house? On a scale of 1 to 10? Yeah. Zero. Let me call. I don't do anything. Can you send a picture of that, please?

I don't. He listened. I don't know. Send a picture of whatever you need. But you let that pretend this is some kind of a self-help group where they can get you to see that you're not good at this sort of thing. Wow. He's telling me you're good at this sort of thing.

Can you say something? I'm so good at it. I'm honestly, and then she's like, who's answering the question. I don't know why, but I just feel like your life would be better if you just saw the truth Listen Bonnie you didn't know me when I was a contractor you didn't know can I just can you please send a picture? Maybe what you've been building this whole time is a house rich not a third-piece section I'm just would if you have time please send it. Thank you. I don't understand it Of that of that. Yes, of the

Why what did you do? You did something? Yes, I rebuilt it and we finished it. Yes Bye, she I mean I mean south not nothing what we can look at whatever and we can see whatever But I'm I'm pretty sure the woman you live with knows you the best and she pretty much has said I don't do zero on a house zero. She meant law. If I call my wife right now, yes, she's scared of you. No, she's not. Yeah, she would fucking I'm scared of my wife. She would fight.

I mean, just I mean, use you been in my house. The garden. I built the garden. I see it. The garden is it. Can you call? Like can we see how I see it? It's great, but yes, a house. I have a townhouse.

I don't build because I'm a man. Yeah, I can hear people. Oh, fucking man. People have townhouses. Right here. There's, so let's just take a look at what I built. That was a tree stump. Wait, stop.

Let me just set this up. Listen, there was a tree stump there. I had to remove. Now, that could be there. That could just stay there. And I could have had to remove it. But in my brain, and you know what, let me do something with this tree stump.

Let me have that little platform, and I'll do something with that. I'll make it a, I was like, he's good. I told my wife, I go, let me, I wanna leave that there, let's not have them grind it down. I wanna do something with this tree stump. And then my kid came up from school one day. I wish you were to put your head on it and go,

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm go. I'm dumb. What? What? What? What? What? What?

That is just f**k, see? I mean, you can't have a conversation, Sal. Oh. He's in my friends. Why can't we? He's going to be friends. I want to be friends with you, Sal. I want to be friends with you, friends.

Yeah, but I want to be more. I don't want to have to f**king deal with you, sh**. I want to talk about times past. All right, let's go. This is what I, this now, oh. My kid wanted a pirate ship, so I just started out there. A mid-a little sketch called my friend Joji. We made it happen.

Well now who's Joji and how much do you have? Stop, stop. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Here's a, no. First of all, Joji, I had, this is my idea. Is that a cooler just resting on the stuff? No, look at that. Look at that. Here's a no first of all Joe G I had this is my idea. I cooler just resting on the stuff. No, I built that That's a

Let's go I can go on a stop hang on now look at that That mask works to by the way you pull it up and down look at chef look at that max that's chalkboard That's chalkboard That's chalkboard. That's chalkboard. That's chalkboard. No, you stop. You go. Look at this. You're a little plank. That goes up and down. You can walk.

Look at that. Oh, you put inches of that. I built that. Look at that frame. Look at that. Look at that. Look at the frame. Look at that. Look at the sun.

He's on a ship. He's a pirate. He's Jack Sparrow. Look at that. Look at the sun. He's on a ship. He's a pirate. He's Jack Sparrow. Look at that, dude. That was a fucking stump. There was nothing there. And then my brain and my hard work. Look at that. A bell. Look at that. Look at this. This was on the slas. That's beautiful. Let me see. It was on the slas. Okay, stop. Stop. Stop. Well, this is not an arm war. Look at this. No, the arm war I got right now. Let me see. Let me see. It was on a slas leg. And look, look how beautiful this.

Okay, hang on a second. Okay, yeah, if I was, if I was 98, I'd like that. You understand what I'm saying? I recognize it as a piece of good stuff. Find my chairs. Find my fucking chairs, Michael. Look at that. Why am I looking real deep?

First of all, look at that. It's beautiful. It's on the south. That's not true. Look at that. It's beautiful. It's out. That's gorgeous. Okay, that was gorgeous. That was gorgeous. That's somebody else's gorgeous work. That was fucking eye-to-eye.

It was out of a four-photo with me. It was out of my eye. Any dickhead can get pledged and make a fucking identity. I have a straight fit down to nothing. That's how I fucking from a stompy fucking Somebody came a dream Not that five you act like you built some furniture

Did something A fucking That's my camel toe when I put on my mr. Incredibles outfit because my wife bought us mr. Incredible. We all have she's elastic girl. I missed it That's my fucking I go back. Oh my god. What do you have to be this year? Girl that was girl that hunt this year. I don't know. I think you should be smoking a baby. It's not you as a baby That's me. Yeah, click on it. That's me as a little kid. That looks like just like Max.

Doesn't it? Wow. Is that crazy? Yeah. Oh, I think you do should be smoking a baby this year. Oh, that picnic table was built for me. First of all, I fucking did. I just don't like it.

That's me in high school. That's me. Oh, this, that's fucking shades Kelly Anyways, I don't know if you can find it if you can find it Michael It might be up the other way I think that you with the glasses scroll scroll down scroll that's me. I was a lifeguard Yeah, oh my god, I was smoking that bump chin look at those fucking teeth Look at that fucking look at our gab. What do you do you think? Becky Gav. Joe's. Huh? Gorgeous.

I mean, right? If that, I mean, if you saw that guy walking on the village, you'd be like, well, tell you though, of the times that that was. And that seems like it was pretty damn good for the time. Yes. You want to, you know, I'm not being a musician. You want to see what you're fucking.

In that era, when that kind of style was in, I think you really got a U-Sian. That's the, like, a U-Sian. What the fuck are you saying? I'm saying. Oh, dear. What's that? Oh my God.

He saw you and raised you. Let me say. Let me say. I don't understand the hair right there. Show it to that camera. I don't understand the hair. Dude, first of all, your love side is. Sure.

That's my God. I'm coming. I'm going to a disco date. This leave was college shirt. Oh, my gosh. This is unbelievable. Thank you. So look at it.

Look at how it's turned. All right, I got to do the street real quick, guys. No, that's how my hair grew. Where's that wall? Give me this. Check this out, guys. This is a new company Vossy boss go ahead. Can I do the fucking read? Yeah, go ahead. All right, you fucking caculate asshole

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I don't mind, I talk about big J. I like the ones with chains on them, but I don't like a big wallet. I hate it. That's why I always have my stuff in here. I carry three cards with me and some medical stuff. This actually, I told you about that one. I did.

I gave you the link. I have the email and I will show you and then you'll apologize to me. Don't ever tell me that I haven't you didn't never found that wall. I had one no already. To me that's dangerous because if you lose your phone you lose your wall. But you know what? Shout with this it fits this thing fits around 18 cards. Can I have it? Believe it or not. It fits around 18 cards. No, you can't, please. Maybe. Be nice during the read and maybe we'll see if you can have the read. Are you going to read right now? I don't know if I'm dealing with an elderly person, just a mentally ill person, or just a

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We stop. Can I do the fucking ad? I thought you said you stopped it. No, I didn't stop it, I still have this in my hand. Bobby, does it have any give to it? Because if it's a hard piece of metal, I don't know about the comfortability factor. I'll tell you why.

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They gave me a bunch of them. I'm going to give away one to a fan today. You're getting a wallet. How's that sound? If you want one of these girl or guy You can have one. It comes in titanium. I think I think that one. What is that? Is that titanium? I don't know what it is Well, the one we're giving away. I don't know But if you don't get the wallet, you can still get one. Look at those. How cool those. Look how bad ass that is. I love it. It's a sleep.

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put YKWD, the ridge and tell us why you want it and email us that screenshot. And we're going to pick the coolest, funniest and the best one. And we will send you the Ridge Wall. These things are unbelievable. Go to the ridge, the ridgewall.com and get yours now. You get 15% off and free worldwide shipping. Let me see that Voss. He's done that. Can I see 10% off?

Yeah, 10% off. Is it 10% off? Yeah, it's 10% off. Thanks, Gaps. 10% off your... What did you say? I said 15. You said 15.

Yeah, you don't get through to 15. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't mess around. Don't mess around, don't mess around. Guys, don't mess 15 15 yeah you don't get through to 50 no no no the end of the show if you deserve it. How's that? I think we're good. I'm gonna say something. I think 5% is enough. 5%. Sally, can you tell me what you're good? Now you can go for 5% again.

I was trying to reverse it. I like this elastic on it. I have one for the fan, too. I like the elastic on it. Does that always stay on it? Yeah, that's the design. That's the one. Oh yeah, we the elastic on it. Yeah. Does that always stay on that's how that's the design. That's the one. Oh yeah. That's it. We're going to be signed by everybody in this room. How's that? Everybody in this room. So I just want my signature little worth a little more than that. But that's

cool. I met you. You're a pocket. And I'm so you're a fan. We're doing the commercial. Yeah. Let me say we stop with it. You're liking all it's It's like my grandfather. Yeah. I will take away from you. My only male friend that really goes heavy with jewels. Let me see that. I love it. It's endearing. But I I don't know anybody that wears jewelry like you. It's great. It's who

you are. I think that's our classic. I'm not being passive aggressive. It's I swear to God. I think he's being a little passive. Make it work. And I just I just I just want to think it's out of sound that I sound that in dear to you. Sal. he's being a little passive. You make it work and I just, he doesn't want to think that's one of the things that I

sell that in dear to you. He doesn't make it work. I think he does. He does not make it work. Look, why do you gotta be so negative? I'm saying not a lot of people wear hats like that. There's a reason for that. Babies just like him and him.

Yeah, pull that off. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Sal, first off. And maybe like, oh, sadrick, the entertainer. He could put on a hat. He could put on a hat. All we gotta okay, I said Rick the entertainer. Hey, I like the hat. He could put on the hat. All we gotta do is find Hardy.

Laurel. And Hardy. You just did a fucking, like a 19, we can't win him. I can't win him. I can't win him. I can win some of them.

The jewelry's ridiculous. To have in that many rings on a Tuesday, I have three rings, but you know, I have two marred home, I don't wear. I have two marred home. I don't wear Huh, you two are a Laurel and Hardy you hate each other, but you're still friends I don't hate him. He's one of my best friends in the world. I mean great person. I love him. Okay, talking about Fox That was divisive that was the vice

I love you Vos a shot. I'm just fucking cock-sock-a-one. Yeah, so he is. He's trying to weech him in. I love you, Voss. Okay, I like you. It is a funny thing though, Souther. You bring that up because the dynamic we have with each other, it's not, you go back to that table now, when we were coming up, that table was just a vicious nightmare guys I knew both of you a

Decades before you knew me right so I I've already watched you know What's that same with the world? You know downstairs yeah live I mean everything tough crowd all that stuff you guys did yeah I didn't get it. I'll explain. But I watched you downstairs live. I mean, everything, tough crowd. All that stuff you guys did. And it's just so true to form. It's like actually what it is. So it's a trip for me to now be friends with you guys

the last bunch of years and just be in what I watched all those years. But I feel I am fascinated by it. Can I be honest with you? And I'll be honest with you too. I feel I, can I be honest with you? Can I be honest with you? And I'll be honest with you too. I feel, I get nervous in the latter years because the last 10 went by so fast. I get nervous in the latter years

that we're going to be forgotten. No. No, no, no, constantly. No. No, Vox is head. No, stop throwing your fears. No, I have no stokes in them. You know what fear is. I do know what fear is. I'm saying I fear that you know what fear is.

Yeah, it's the thing on top of the toilet. It's on top of the toilet. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Okay, it's your time I'm minds. Yep, go ahead, what were you saying? That's going to entangle you. Everything goes by fast. No, not for you, it does.

I'm saying the old. The older said it. I do it. The older you get, the time really flies. It starts spinning out of control. Well, I'm 47. But it starts spinning out of control where you're like, oh my God, I remember sitting at that table, but now it's like I'm 47, but it starts spinning out of control where you're like, oh my God. I remember I remember sitting at that table and how, but now it's like I'm older

and one thing that that's the thing with like, you know, not to bring open up. Foss, you're not getting the wall. No one this was getting ahead. I really do want to do a documentary. I want question. I really do monologue. I really do monologue. I really do monologue sometimes. I don't want everybody listening to this podcast. I only want true fans. And true fans will sit through my monologues.

I think you do another read. I think that as you, when you have a kid, something happens where you have empathy for things now. When I was single, when I didn't have anybody, I was living alone, I didn't give a fuck about it. I just fuck everything. All of a sudden, I got intimacy in my life. I expect it.

I got a kid I really love. I got a wife that I've grown to really love. She loved me from the get go. I had to learn to be able to love her over the years. Now, it was, it's scary because you have this feeling, you have this family, and then you see these, you know, I'm not that guy that was, you know, just vicious, you know, things do affect me now.

Well, yeah, I have three daughters. Things affect you too. Yeah, when I see things, you know things do affect me now. Oh, yeah, I have three daughters things The fact you do yeah when I see things or I read things about kids or being horn it breaks my heart It really does it when somebody abuses a kid or does anything Anything to harm a kid I I fucking almost lose it because I just think like I was watching Oh this movie and it was a dumb movie was it was with Gillenhall and he was a boxer Swaped out yeah, and his wife died and the door to New Susa. I tell you it brought tears in my eyes three times Because I just pictured you know losing my two or three about. And I'm saying, yeah, you have a connect,

but you also have your life outside of it, which is this business is a very self-centered business. It's all me, me, me, you're dealing with rejection. And yes, no, so it's so hard to tell. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but it's hard to tell from the get-go, as literally, I don't know. It's hard to get out from the get go. His little I don't remember he even seen him at an open mic. Don't say get your get go twice.

That's enough for that next. That's our next sponsor. But see like I haven't had that much rejection in your career. Have you? I mean, I've been honest. I don't mean I'm not saying that I have to be a dad. I've been doing comedy since 99. 99? Yeah, not stand up like strictly, but what did you start out at, improv writing? So you, where did you do sketch and improv? See here in New York City. Where? What do you mean? Like at UCB or

at some point. I would go to UCB and I was there all the time watching shows, meeting people, but I was, we were actually independently working on it on our own. Right. We would watch it, read stuff, like learn and then go back and practice it. We just did it on. And that's the guys you're with now. Yeah. So you and these guys have been together. I don't know the bank story of this.

Yeah. So we met. We met 13 years old. I'm we're 42. We met the 15 of you freshman in high school. We met with same age. We met as freshman in high school. We met with same age. We met at freshman in high

school. We started doing comedy together by junior year of high school. And that's what made Dane and the other kid. Yeah. I mean, so you talk in 716 doing comedy in some form to now. Yeah, we we we we've we've had a lot of rejection a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, especially do an improv and sketch. I mean, that's a that's his shows the two people. The four of lot. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, especially you do an improv and sketch. I mean, that's a, that's- This is shows the two people, the four of us. Oh, do it a fucking sketch. Were you trying to do it? To four people?

Two people. Two people. What were you doing for money, though, back there? What were you doing? I always had a job. Oh, that's a job. Always did on the side. But was your dream to do that?

My dream. That was your dream, right? One and only. When did, let me ask you a question. So you're doing this sketch in improv. And I mean, that's a harder gig. Stand up at least you can get on a gig, you can host, you can go on the road with somebody.

But there's no sketch in improv at comedy clubs on weekends. You know what I mean? Not really. No, it was all DIY. It was all like we'd put up a show, we'd rent a theater, We'd put it up. We'd sell the tickets.

We'd do all that we promoted. I used to go put flyers out, just bring friends and family. Then friends of family. Then start a mailing list. And then we just kind of built our own little thing. So how did you get to get your own show? Did they pitch that to you? Did they see you somewhere?

Or did you go in and say, look, what's that? We created a pitch team. Sorry. Siri, we're excellent. We, we were doing improv, then we're doing sketch and we started going to festivals as a sketch and improv team and then we started doing sketch videos from my space in YouTube, right? We got noticed from that. Right. We got a lot of views. We got an agent from the agent.

Then we got an agent. We had access. Then we started thinking of writing a TV shows and pitching ideas. We've pitched hundreds and, you know, we got an agent from the agent, then we got an agent, we had access, then we started thinking of writing TV shows and pitching ideas, we've pitched hundreds and you know we finally at that point we had like three or four pilots that didn't go and then we finally got this. Give me a second. Guys, Jota Rocha's calling it. Joe, you're live on YKWD, I'm here with Sal and what's your name? Rich Voss. Oh, that was clever. Oh, okay. Three of my buttons, I'm calling you Sal and what's your name? Rich Voss. Oh, that was clever.

Oh, OK. Three of my buttons. I'm calling you from China right now. You're in China? Yeah, I'm in China. I just got here today. I'm in my hotel room. And I'm looking out at the Grand City.

And I'm in. And I saw you call, so I was calling you back. What's your deal for acupuncture? What do you? Voss said, what do he do for acupuncture? What do you? What do you? Law said what do you do for acupuncture? I'm here to do shows. So there's these shows. That's really no. Really? You're doing comedy in China. Oh god. L.A.s L.A.s that bad huh? Yeah. Yeah. That's horrible. I might not come back to be honest.

Tell me. Tell him he was. He can hear you. and Thank you rich. I appreciate it. I feel real. Thank you. I can't hear it I don't understand why rich doesn't understand how microphones and phones because I can be a Hero because he's he does I'll tell you why because we all have our headphones on and this fucking Piece of garbage will never put his headphones on because he's always wearing a dumb hat the dumb flamingo kid hat Oh, okay, that's it. I've been called from I never wear the headphones. I hate wearing from yes, yes, see you didn't have to back him up, Joe. You could have went with my rant No, we were very every time you're on that show you knock it out of the fucking park Thank you, Rich. I appreciate it. And maybe you'll do that in China. I hope you do that in China and you're gonna be the Eddie of China. Jesus Christ. You fucking stay over there. Jesus. He just said he just said you stay.

It's always come with him and Sal brought that up. It's he literally give a stand where it comes. How many show you fucking idiots? What am I fighting? What am I fighting?

What am I fighting? What am I fighting? What am I fighting? What am I fighting? What am I fighting? What am I fighting? It's always come with him and Sal brought that up. It's he literally get a sandwich. How many show you fucking idiots? What am I fun? Well, it's a podcast. It's not a comedy show. We can be serious.

Oh, OK. Hey, Paul, go swallow and shine. And you don't get murdered. So hey, Joe, miss you, buddy. How do you want? How do you want? How do you want? Sal, you don't appreciate this. Actually, you feel? I'm just kidding. So you all appreciate this.

Actually, you all will. Because it's about my failure. My buddy that I grew up with, my oldest closest friend of the world who's like a fucking brother to me. I call him the other day. And as I've done two weeks ago, probably, and he goes, I go, what are you doing? And I'm mad and he goes, oh, dude, it's so great.

It's a surprise for Father's Day. Dana's taking me. The boy to Father's Day, Dana's taken me, the boy to Father's Day, yes, my wife has taken me to see the impractical joke, to a huge thing. And I was like, you know how mad it made me? That one of my friends, Giggs, was like a special event for another one of my friends. And then I'll never be a special event.

Yeah. Yes, you were. I've had the same thing with Sal. I had the same fucking thing. Twice it happened. I met my cigar lounge with all the guys, and they put that on, and they're telling me how much, oh, these guys, you should do this.

You should do this. This way, you get on this show. I'm like, oh, fuck yourselves. And then I'm in Florida, and this is literally a fan of mine who I know is a friend of mine too, begged me to fucking get tickets to sell. I had to call them up and I'm like, I felt like you did because you're a good guy.

But I felt like, hey, what about my show? What about my show? I'm there, oh, I got five shows I'm trying to sell. Hey, Bobby, I had a guy say say I'm flying to China to see Derosa He just said you're playing the bamboo lounge You get the at least you get to pick your dinner halfway through I think you get the least you get to pick your dinner halfway through. You're gonna see him too much. He's gonna be pulling a rig show.

I really, it bugs me your skinny jeans, infuriating. All right. Bye. Yeah, your skinny jeans you were wearing on the Jim and Sam show bug me to no end. I'm talking about they weren't skinny jeez. Oh, and I had a great thing to say real quick. The priests are trash. Yeah.

How mad are you? How mad are you that all those days we spent sitting in that telegrossary mark the Amish market talking about our new iPhones, not neither one of us was smart enough to be like, hey, go, go, have that lady on the shoulder and walk away and I'll video tape it. And then we'll send it to true key me yeah I mean you know I thought that was fun you know what let me tell you something I will if she's bombing across she's if he's bombing across cheese. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha time zones. Hi Joe, have fun in performing for the X-Pats. What the fuck, Loni?

Please. There's no, this is probably not television. You can even watch. He's probably going to be doing it. If he was in LA and you called him, he wouldn't even pick up the fucking phone. Yeah. That's true. I talked about it all the time. I don't pick up with Rich call. Okay. Hey, do you still have the note nine? Yeah. Okay, I might get it. You know what? You told me three weeks ago, you'd call me two days about it. I got a kid.

What do you want me to do? What do you build one? You know, I don't know. What are you going to say, though? What are you going to say? I want to keep talking to you guys. I don't want to, I don't want to go. Yeah, but I'm trying to learn that I'm learning the origin stories of Sal. And it's fucking so interesting. His backstory, which I never learned. And we're right in the middle of it. Hey, Kell, did you go over there with another comic? Are you by yourself? Yeah, by myself, but these comics that produce the shows brought me over, but the one kid I'm not sure if you're going to get a comment or you buy yourself. Yeah, by myself, but these comics that produce the shows brought me over, but the one

kid can't hang out to like 12. What is it like? How long? Is it like a 10 hour play from LA? I flew from New York to a 60 hour. I know it's a nightmare. Are you in Hong Kong? What part

of China? Are you in? my fucking headphones didn't work? The headphone jack for the movie player, my headphone, it didn't work. So I couldn't even watch movies. I was fucking brutal. Oh, Jesus. What, what did you do? I watched, I watched like what I could through one earphone

and then I slept and played some video games. When the plane landed, when the plane landed, and they say, uh, pull your seat up and you go, it is. That's just how my body is shaped. Yeah, they thought I was in 40. They thought I was important. 15 hours young Clark Gable is sitting with no tea. Yeah, as soon as I got here they go, how come you're technically two feet taller than everybody here yet you seem to be the same height? How many shows are you doing?

Do a three city like five shows to show that's cool. You're gonna have a great time How can we do call me I can even call me when you're in New York Because I didn't really do like I didn't yeah Yeah, I'm I'm not what the fuck is it's plenty of time. I don't want to spend the day with you. I don't want to what do you want? I would make up and have breakfast and lunch and dinner. Maybe a fucking cup of coffee. The night I was able to hang out, I went down to the cellar you weren't there. You didn't call me. You didn't I might have been there if you called me. He didn't call us either. What night was it? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night?

We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. What night? We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're gonna drive it. We're loan me buddy. Go get a hooker. What do you want me to go? Go get fucking jerked off. You have a gun. Yeah, I love rich, but I love you when that's nice. That's nice All the times we talk that's nice. You want to you want to throw me under the bus now? You break you break my heart here you go

fuck it he's one one night or some China yeah dude I mean I'm so glad I moved back from LA I'm just no work out. Well, I mean, there is work, but you have to be in a certain crew. I think what is in the comedy store now is the place to be. No, I'm saying to make money though. Are you going to road? Like here we can go to DC, Connecticut, all in cars.

I'm going to. Hello. Yeah, put me on speed. I'm not going to pick it up. Hello. Now, put me on speaker. I'm not done. Listen, I answered on speaker. You're on. Joe, Joe, listen. I thought I'd be roghing up on me like that.

I was in a police department building. I could do something to ask. First of all, the windows are too small. I know. I'm trying to for you to jump out. You're fucking head wouldn't make it Can you go out for more floors to make it a definite? What I did joke trends I always like true ha ha ha you got to figure it out that's the way you do it man what i did do jokes trans

i always like to show them to Americans just Americans go yeah i mean i have i we're still going to how do they ensure people are still going to the matter club it's an American club i've done on the whole it's like designated so yeah no way to go yeah the call expats right is that? I don't know a lot of them are as they promoted in we're speaking shows. Yeah, yeah, got it. Oh cool. You know, are you going to get? How do you guarantee only Trump supporters show up to your shows, right?

Right, right, right. We have a toss. We have a toss. Make America great again with good sketch and improv. That was pretty funny, but you shouldn't tell us it's funny. We'll just laugh and let you Yeah, it doesn't make America great again with good sketching in That was pretty funny, but you shouldn't tell us it's funny. We'll just laugh and let you know Yes, I'm too. I'm too insecure right now. Why you got fear were great on the fucking TV show You're flying all over the world doing comedy you're living a dream You're your fucking single. Hey Joe. Joe. Joe. What, when is your first gig?

You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man.

You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the best man. You're the's great. He's actually gonna see the video of you doing it. There's actually video evidence of you going now. You're a follower. I'm on it. You're a follower.

So anyway, Sam, why would you know this phone's about to ring, right? He won't call me. I'll call you. I guarantee you won't call me. If he has a funny bone in his body, you won't. If he doesn't hear the gun, what's that? I'll bet you 10 bucks he calls you. I'll bet you five I'll call you. If he has a funny bone in his body, you will. If he doesn't hear the gun, I'll bet you 10 bucks he calls you. I'll bet you five bucks against that wallet.

What? Oh, you owe me money from a bet. I'll hear you a hundred bucks. Oh, you have. I'll bet you that hundred bucks right now. No, no. Why? You got to make the deal quick.

How are you? You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. You got to make the deal quick. No, if he didn't hear the guy, what does he think we just did just hung up on his face? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do is a funny bit now. You gotta call him back. He's gonna call him back after the show

We ready put it down. This is probably why you don't fucking do what we do. I really believe it's a comic thing I I really believe it's a comic thing. I do. I stand up comic thing, sitting around the improv and sketch your actors and your comedic actors and you become stand-ups, right? But you started out as a comic actor, correct? Am I in my... I guess so because I did it before I didn't stand up. And I believe actors are nicer people. I think improv people will always

nicer. It's case-to-case basis, buddy. You can't just group people in like that. I'm like, I'm blank. Let me take some of that. Look at my show, is it not breaking balls? My whole show that I'm making my career on is about breaking balls. It's just that I feel big because he's lonely over there and he didn't hear the gun. We didn't talk to him. I haven't heard it. You just said when you got older, you started to feel a little more sensual. But I feel big because he's in Hong Kong alone. He didn't hear the call. We didn't tell him the follow-on, Hong Kong.

He could have called us when he was in New York. He knew he was in New York. He knew he was in New York. He knew he was in the business. So you want to call him back. That's where you think the best choice to make for this show. I don't know. I thought it was a funny, funny choice.

I'm going to say I want to call him back. I'm going to make, I'm going to put you $100. That phone rings. He would have called already. He would have called already. He would have called already. He's, he has no timing. He's probably right now getting your phone number because you probably deleted it at one point.

He never deleted it. Please. Can you please tell me how many times you have? I texted you guys if you guys want coffee or anything. If you want anything on the store. And I get here and I'm like, hey, I don't know if you, I was at the store, but I didn't you heard me. He did have my number saved in his phone.

I know because every time I talked to you, it was through a text and it's some, and there was times I was going, how, but I didn't get you. He did have my number saved in his phone. I know, because every time I talked to you, it was through a text, and there was times I was going, how the fuck do I get? I was talking to you before the call. Sometimes you'll send me a message on Twitter. I'm like, just text me. Yeah. But you texted me.

You just didn't save my number. You don't know what it is. Then I, you don't have his number? I do now. I made a mistake. It's all right. I'm working for a guy this week, and I go I've worked from before I can't find his number I don't hold it against oh you should

So I want to know I want to go back a little bit. So you guys did this thing for a long time. Yeah When do you fight when did you pop? When was it true TV? Yeah, that would be the big one So was there so was there anything was there anything before that yeah we get on take it from the source why am I taking it from you I said jack par you fucking idiot I know that's before Carson I know it's before Carson am I fucking losing my brand or did I just say that count my hundred bucks no yeah I can have it tonight I'll give it to you later.

For real? I have it in the back. It's a savings account. Is your crewing interest? Go ahead. What is it? 1,500 percent. Yeah, it's like much I love you.

1,500 percent. So what was the first thing? I'd say the big thing before that was we got on this show on NBC. Really? It was a battle of sketch comedy troops. I remember that. I don't fuck. No, it never was a cult. It never sketch comedy troops. I remember that. Fuck. Bring that out. No, you know, it never was a cult. It never. It's not on the YouTube. No, no, but but they filmed this big. It was a studio

audience, a big flushing. Almost like a deal, no deal set. Wow. And it was a big thing. And they took five from across the country. Right. And we competed and it was the pilot. And we won. We won a hundred grand. And that's how we get the producer from that show. Ask us to develop more stuff. Yeah, but wait a second.

They had to pay us even though it didn't air. That's like the biggest thing never happened to me at that point. But they had that show with what's his name was the host. David Allen Greer hosted it was an improv sketch. That I don't know. This is a different show. They stole your show. It's not my show.

I just was not a show. Are you listening? Yes. Well, he's literally saying his first break. Yes, he was on the show on that day. Right. Right. And then you got to go off and some tangent in your own brain.

You already had that show. They stole your show. No, not after it. But that said I saw it, but it wasn't his show. I saw something different. But that's not what he's saying. What he's saying is his big break was $100,000. That's a big break.

That's a good thing. We split between us, but it was still 25,000 a piece. We know how it works to be for people. And you had to pay taxes. I pretty much loaned that. I took home about 22 of that. Really? Yeah.

I'm not, it's unclear. But I had an accountant friend who just, Yeah, how I'm not it's unclear I had an accountant friend who just let's not say this on the air because I don't want you to have I mean you're was 2007 They'll come no 11 years ago. No, you got seven year window. Okay fucking Criminal oh Yeah, I think it was a Grigis I think like it was like a good account can write off a lot of stuff. Yeah, so So from that true TV was like look no not even close to producer from that NBC show Yeah, it's a couple of producers to let's develop something together right then we did and then we got we got their agent

And then we pitched the first idea we pitched it got picked up by spike and Fox bid for it And we want with spike because we thought it might be a little easier to make the leap to get on because right and We made a pilot it was and it was wasn't great and then after that we made another pilot after that We made another one and another one four pilots. Yeah, so for spike all for spike. No, no, all different Older for Rosa. I win I didn't pick it 100 bucks I don't know yeah I didn't pick it up I didn't pick it up hello I almost bet Bobby Bobby goes to call again and I almost lost a hundred bucks because I thought you

were because I you know I would never hang up on you i'm not i'm not like salam bobby i gotta be honest i was like bobby either no he felt he felt listen he felt good i know you do he felt terrible joe he felt bad he felt terrible Joe. He felt bad. He felt bad. He's gonna do Yeah, you know what's funny. I felt really guilty to about making the truck joke about You two fucking sissy's we are relaxed at the comedy show Jesus is what is this ten step radio?

What? radio what step radio I said a step Hey listen to me. I'm not guess what I'm not lonely right now. I'm having a great time. Okay. All right for a lonely guy you You Do you have Gabby's number? T minus five I'm not gonna hang up you talk you called I Why why were you in New York Gabby is producer of the show of the YKWD

She's a young comedian. She's very funny the blonde. Yeah Yeah, if that's what you want to really break it down to the blonde, but she's yes. She's very talented editor writer comedian. We got mushy Mike very talented comic writer. What else? Okay, that's it. Rose and Mexican Becky's here too photographer that rose and Mexican and Becky's here too, photographer, very talented human being creator. And there's another guy in the corner. Yeah, that's Zach.

He murders people for money for money. Tell you in New York, what were you doing? Were you hanging out or doing a gig? I was just flying out of there. So I just was there for a night or two. I thought you were thinking about moving back. I thought you were thinking about moving back. I look like an afford to I would.

I mean, I just, it's ridiculous. I was talking to Troy at Jimi Sam. And he was telling me what he pays for a studio. I was like, it's a safe. Yeah. So I had to move in with Sal. I don't know how he got the four, I mean, you know, I got to, I got to show him much fucking show. Joe, I got a shed you can rent.

Bobby, you can rent my shed. Let me tell you, look, I don't even know if I can afford to rent it. I might just need to move into it. Okay, Bobby can build you. He could take a tree stump and build a house on top of it. He's a fucking. There's a vacant pirate ship over there. Yeah. Like I said to you on the phone before, something's going to happen. You're a good actor and you're a great comic. I'm telling you, I feel it. Something's good.

What are you getting all the mussels for? Because I, because I believe in you and you're lonely, I want you to feel good in China. I don't want you to feel bad. I don't want to sit here and tell you, hey, you're done when there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm really saying this to myself. I'm just using you as a a fucking boat on the way to China. Make some extra fucking money. Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I know. Do you think they're gonna be now in China?

Are they gonna get your anger towards Kentucky fried chicken? Are you gonna have to change it to rice? You know what? Rice is bullshit man. What? It's their number one restaurant. I'm not kidding. What? Number one restaurant. I'm in luck. I see. Is there number one restaurant here? what you

are you in Hong Kong where are you a part of China and Big Buddha. It's a big tour. Don't say anything to me. Shut up. I knew it was coming. No, that's a big tourist thing. Can you talk to the mic too, though? That's a big tourist trap. The big Buddha. It's in Hong Kong. No, because it was obvious. It was obvious. I wasn't saying it because the biome said it before you said it.

Yeah. You know, guys, you know, what we're talking to that? Yeah, it's hard said it. Yeah. I'm well prepared, right? You know guys, you know, what would talk to connect? Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to connect with us and audience and everybody you talk to. What the fuck made it to you? You know, when you point to finger, you're point three back at yourself, okay?

Except for Rich. Okay, I was trying to be nice. When you point to finger, you're point three back at yourself You've never heard that I'm shocked. I know old-ealed adages. Yeah, I'm just giving you some Alright, can we speed this up Bobby wants to speed it up. I could talk to you forever because that's how I am I like talking to you Tell him about the home. I like talking all three three of you. I like I don't even know Gabby any other people and I enjoy

their company. But you know Bobby's real like you know wants to keep it moving. He's always stick it up production value in the bottom line. He doesn't care about break. Yeah. You know what I mean? It hurts me. It hurts me. That was good

My god Fuckin' Jesus I can't believe it Somehow your phone rings that would be amazing I can't believe it I hope Keith comes up that, dummies on the phone That's uh, that's pretty amazing. I feel bad for him.

It is true though. When you travel, you travel with a bunch of guys. With them and alone. What? With them and alone. So you travel, are you doing stand-up now by yourself? Yeah. Now on the road. But you take somebody with you. On the road. You don't go on the lawn. So you try, are you doing stand up now by yourself? Yeah. Now on the road, but you take somebody with you.

On the road? On the road. You don't go on the road. But you do it to do stand up by yourself. Yes. What do you think of that? But you take somebody with you. I try to, yeah.

You do. You take somebody with you. I try to. Yeah, of course, because you can. Now, is there a way this weekend? Where you at? Cubs and the saccharine punchline. Great, two great clubs.

I'm with you like a, true yeah. Two great clubs, Cubs is the shit. Yeah. Now to those, what are you doing? What are you, what are you fucking whistling?

Uh huh. Uh huh. Well, how you, can you do this? You can do. Can you? I can, I can whistle my fingers get the ball out of the ball. You can do it. I can win.

I can win. I can win with my fingers. Let me hear you say. Wow. That's so fun. Yeah. We just have to do it. Can't whistle even just alone.

You can't whistle at all. No, I can't even. I'm the whistle champion 1999. You do melodies. 1998 2001. I skipped 2000 just because. You're whistle a melody Can you got the wrong can you pull up?

I'm a whistle champ that was good but it was an original song. We want to just whistling in a loud original song. I didn't hear like the bell. That was an original song. That was good, but it was an original song. We were gonna just whistling in a little original song. I didn't hear like the bell. It was an original song. That was an original song. That was called the Birds of Ever Chime. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even.

What do you want to hear? Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even.

Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even. Can't even those are okay. I can't look at what? Look at what? There's people I like whoops. Oh yeah. I can't get this.

Listen. You just happen like I'm sad, but I can't. I can't crack gum. Can you crack gum? Yeah, no. No, I can't. No enough. Can you crack corn, Jimmy?

I'm gonna fucking crack you with a fucking Ridge Wallet. Listen. Ridge Wallet. I don't care if you can crack corn. Rich wallet. It's what's for dinner. I hate boss. Are you friend?

Now let me ask you questions, Sal. I hate him so much. It's to be honest. All these years later. Because I know all the friends, I've had in and out with my friends. We've talked, talked, shut up. Okay.

You know what, we go to that. Boss, we go to that. Boss is the snow burger. In and out, it's okay, but air snow burgers way better. Boss is the only one that I didn't like at the beginning. We had a fight. A little, we almost got a fight physically punch each other. And then since that day, we've been great friends.

Like just great friends. I've never not liked Voss since that day. What happened? He was a dick? No. Yes, you were a dick. No. You were a dick.

We both were dick. You, all right, I'll take both, but you are a bigger dick. And I'll tell you why. Because when you meet young comics, you get fucked up and you want to bitch them out. I don't bitch them out. Hang on. I'm for fuck with them.

Hang on. I don't want to be bitched out. Go fuck yourself. That's right. Not only in my new comic, I'm not. I've been fucking headlining the Boston for a while. I'm in smoldering on stage. And I'm a fucking,

I'm an adult, you cock sucker. And the first thing out of his mouth, how long you been doing comedy in front of everybody? I go, I'm, how long you been in New York, around two months, go give me a coffee, two sugars. Beat it. That's what he says. No, I just shrieked low.

And I'm from, let me, let me, let me, it's like, you say that to me, go fucking, go fuck yourself. You give me a coffee, cock sucker. And that's where, but that really, really like, just like set you off a real. I was like, go fuck yourself. Yeah, I mean, that's how the whole cable was.

He just, nah, he was a pregnant, he's a good, the young people. No, but I take care of the young people too. No, he, no, what I've learned above us after that, that's his thing. And it's the test he gives you. And then if you make it past that test, right? Then you realize that he's a good guy.

You know what I mean, but does that? I probably would live along with you, but then be like, do you really want one? Cause I'll get you one. You really are a fucking nice guy. It's so kind. Well, I kind of respected dynamic. If I was coming in and you hear a long time,

it's kind of like, let's say a little bit of like a thing. I think there was no kind of guess. But you're like a real piece of shit about, but you're probably facetious. No, he's no dynamic. There's no, he's, there's no fucking dynamic. It's a, he's a Jersey asshole that, you know, I wouldn't take shift from anyone, but I would like, I know that I, there's a certain amount of shit I should take. No, no, I fun shit. Like, that's not fun. He's been a dick in front of everybody. No, I fun shit. Like, not like that's not fun if I'm real. He's being a dick and for everybody. Yeah, right, but we were all dicks back then. We were just a dick.

And you turn into a dick when new comics came around. You turned into a nice to new com. So am I. I listen, I'm on the road. We comparing how nice we are to comments. No, no, no, I'm going to get to be what I want you guys build a wooden comic each. I'll just bring a full circle. Listen, I don't get into the argument with you.

All right, what about nice people deep down, but we're fucking asshole comics that try to be funny. Well, that what I'm trying to say to Sal is that after all these years, working with these guys, are you guys all still friends? Is it, is it hard to work together? Like, and now you got to go back and do another season. got to keep it's hard but we're good friends you know who they you know who they remind me of the sports junkies those guys have been together since they went high school or college well it seems like and people

that are gathered for 20 something years yeah at the end of that they're like I'm out I'm just done that's why the opening anything it they're like I'm out. I'm just done. That's why the opening anything. It's not like wow It was gonna happen. It's happened to fucking every radio show Martin and Lewis Can you update it? Lewis and Martin But you know what I'm saying it must be hard to do that, you know, but I tell you that we you know at your telethon When Dean Martin walked out was fucking classic. What's a telethon? that, I tell you that we union know at your telethon when Dean Martin walked out, which fucking classic. What's a telephone?

Yeah, I'm sorry, Gabby, I'm going to help you with this. I don't know. It's something you'll never know about. I will you stop bringing up references? Are you Joe? You don't know what a telethon is? I don't know what a fucking thing is. Well, you really said it with a, you said it well.

She's a great actress. So you guys, it is tough somehow. We have our fights. We have, we're with each other. Literally, I'm gonna say we do 75 dates a year. We film the show over 10 months. That's just that show that we film a couple of other shows and every little thing, it's just, we're with each other so God damn much. And I think considering that, we do really well. Right. I have to say good. I mean, we're very fortunate. I've watched the show. I've watched I'm not sure if you're going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be

going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be

going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going I hate him. But you guys have a great report together. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you guys generally have fun. We like a show. And the boat, you guys, we're fucking great when you guys were singing at the end and everybody. Yeah, we're trying to get everybody. We have a job on that boat.

But you know, it's like, we do have fun. Like, we make the show, we have fun. We're employing a lot of other people. We can't believe that we're making a living. It's like, it's a very unfortunate situation. I mean, I was at the Comic Con a couple of years ago with the sex drugs and rock and roll thing. And I remember walking out of the street,

and I'm like, this is, I mean, there's this line in San Diego. This is the line down the middle of the street. And we're like, what the fuck, what is this for? I thought we were gonna meet Ryan Reynolds. That's how big the line was. It was you, fucks. You had a storefront.

They literally rented a store and they made it in practical jokers storefront with these. The line was probably five blocks long down the middle of the street. I mean, it was fanatical. There's a big concentration in that time though, but yeah, right there is a little bit of a wheelhouse that we've been there

Seven years now. We're a Comic-Con. Yeah, now they they up that we do this thing called a block party now They ran out then they run out of pet co-park. Can't the fuck on it? 18,000 people come this year. Yeah, I haven't had that all year at all my children together It's pure insanity. He doesn't even know what a curtain is. I do on the second row. Jesus. He hits bonus without even going to the club. The bonus is his check. Do you imagine the money? You know the 18,000 people? Do you know the money?

Oh, these guys, listen, they're not in it for money. They're in it for the art. You don't have to listen first of all when the money is over I love you have a bucket of money. You're not in the foot. You don't have to be for the money You're like I got water, but I don't I like some orange juice Yeah, all right not a good fucking analogy, but what are you gonna do? Oh fucking stinks. Can we cut that out? I? Fuckin' stinks. Can we cut that out? I, uh, what do I chip? Uh-huh. I mean, the money's crazy.

Have you ever, do you ever think, the money's pretty good now? You have a thing you could, you know, the money's good now. It wasn't, it wasn't always, it wasn't always. Really? The first season I made less than I did at my regular job. Yeah, that way, fuck out.

Yeah, that way, you guys are selling out. What's the most seats you've sold at a con? Like, when you guys are doing a show, the most 40,000? No, no, we, no. We, we, um we look at it. He's right. He's bad. I don't want to say it. We played we we uh this say it gradually grown right now. The biggest we do is we do we do like a rena. So we'll do you know, the most we'll do is what an arena holds. What is that?

15,000. How did you do not every show? What's the biggest one? Didn't you do one for the Queen in England? We did a we were there five weeks in England over over the cost of two tours last year And we did like 25 30 arenas we did the O2 last year five times But I don't understand what you do Yeah, he's so sad. I heard him. I didn't so yeah, you did you guys did what? What do you do though on stage though as a group? what do you do? Yeah, the show we were up there. What is the show? So it's four of us. We're all up over the mics at the same time.

Okay. And we write it. So it's not even like it's it's it's it's look it's can't be stand up in a traditional sense. But we you know we do a little stand up. We tell stories that we mix it up. We up there. We we do some crowd stuff. We show some shit. We we shot just for this. We do Q&A to you. Do Q&A. No, we did it in the five in the very beginning. It sucks. It's bullshit. We write the show. This is our fourth tour. We do about an 80, 90 minutes. So this is our fourth, our 50 are doing it. The fourth tour. And we take a while to get in shape. And you know, it's because people don't come to our show looking traditionally for a standup comedy show.

You kind of don't know what this expect if they haven't been there before. And what we hear the most is people they just want to, they look at us as a personality, not as necessarily like, you get them to see pure standup. So they want to come, they want to hang out with us. But standup is like, you're open strong, you keep them going and you're in strong, you say good night.

We do all that, man. And then at the end, end you have a big you must have a big thing at the end that just goes fucking Is it right and what happens at the end? We do like literally should have paid in Version of standup. It's like four people on stage, but you bring stand-up. So yeah, I do yeah, do you do you? Do you is your age? Minimum or lemon say 16 suggested 16 people still bring their kids out really yeah and there's cursing though right yeah there is we we don't really go like blue but we'll fuck say fucking on stuff like that and then we that's kind of sometimes sometimes we see a but we don't go like sexual over the top like you know we don't know

there's no emphasis we would never say like I probably said I've come before but just just for the punch like we used to we to like, it was more in the beginning. We didn't put a limit on it. And we had all these kids and we would immediately come out and address that first. Right. And we just take the tension out of the room. We'd call them out, say, look, you're going to hear a lot of words tonight. What curses do you know?

We'll take the piss out of it. And then, you know, just, I used to tell the joke of the kids, like, I used to tell a kid joke, but then end up being filthy. Like, we just, you know Like we just called them out. And so it was fun. So then everyone kind of like didn't really get. But now we put 16 on it. You see a few of them.

But we can't tell the show to that. So we just do the show that we're going to do. And it is what it is. That's the parents fault. Now do you guys do a meet and greet after the show? We stopped them after five years. It was in stages. So in the beginning, we were doing clubs,

and we would meet just every last person for nothing. We would stay there, two shows a night, meet 500, whatever it was. And then we started doing small theaters after a while, and we would meet 120 people per show. And then we finally put a little bit of an extra price tag on that, because it was just too much. It's our time. Yeah. So then we would meet 120 we charged for it. Then

we reduced it to 90, 75, 60, then 40. Yeah. And now we don't do it anymore. Now it's a thing that you go out and get away for a million dollars. We don't we didn't do it like traditional like when people you hear like, all right. You take a picture and then you keep going. 90 people showed up at Vos's show he'd be happy. Oh really? I'm kidding. It was a joke. Why can't you bust my balls? And I can't say a joke about you. You made the same joke five minutes ago I never said that about you said the double curtain about you me. I was saying about me. Yeah, and I just said it too Why can't I have fun I hit phone is sweet. I did too Go ahead

90 listen 90 these that we had people, that's literally the room. We only let 150 people come backstage. Fuck you, Sal. 150 people. It was very taxing though, because we didn't just take a picture and then they go, yeah, you, we let them in a room, and then we hung out with them in that room for an hour. Wow. That's pretty fun though. Yeah, well for like 40, however, now do you have a girlfriend?

Let me get that. Everyone's just sawing everything to do. I mean, we had the people. I use single. I've been in the show 70 times. I know people's full fit. Right. Yeah.

Are you single? No, I have a girlfriend. Will you single through this at the beginning? Oh, in the beginning a little bit. Was it crazy? You don't seem like that guy. It could have been but it's not my, that's not my thing. That's not your thing. 150 people for me to get 100, I'd have to be at a bus terminal. I'm not gonna say anything. Go up and go, you'll attack me. I want to attack you.

You just attacked me. No, I did an attack you. I said a joke about you 90 people you go, my me! What? All right, wow. That's pretty a fucking, now, now like, is this how many years you're gonna go? Why does it need two? Well, you've, listen, hey, oh man, put it down.

Oh man, look at my life. I'm a lot like you. Oh man. Now, what are you gonna do when this is, I'm just playing, it's going to be, it's going to this is a place going to explain concert and I'm saying to Neil Young, yeah, do you? We stop you fucking a DD and young sound. Yeah, forget him, please. He has a DD. He'll just go off on T engines. I have severe a D. Just I know

it's recent. I got it too. It's terrible. Listen, when it's all over, have you. I I've done. I've done. I've done. I didn't see that coming. You can't have been out of the way. Curves. At the end of it. Have you seen that? Are you going to be excited when it's done?

Are you looking forward to it? It's going to be real bit of sweet. It's been my life right now for eight years. We signed for a season and an option for another way. The people we work with are family. So it's, and I'm finally making good money where I'm saved. So it's going to be heartbreaking.

But I also like, I am excited to, the thing that will cushion it, is stand up for me because I can't wait to like, just dedicate myself to stand up fully. Right now I'm doing it in between all of this stuff and I'm trying to keep up with my peers, you know, you know how it is. So like I try to, you know, I feel like I'd be much better off if I could just dedicate most of my time to it.

So I'm looking forward to that part. And I think that'll help with the transition, but it'll be hard to leave it. For sure. Now, yeah. Now when you go through the transition, I forget it. I mean, when it comes, it happens. Yeah.

Now, but when it's over, are you going to be set? Are you done? Are you going to be? Are you going to be? That's what you mean. Well, like, like, financially, you got, all right, dude. I can do what I want now. I can just, I can live my life.

Maybe, see, that's not a question you always work. I'll always work. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, some people do these gigs with a, they get you, you, you get that magic See, that's not a question. I'll always work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work.

You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work.

You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying to work. You don't have to be trying on work. I'm a work of all. You're not a boxer. He's not going to blow all his money. He's made enough money.

So I didn't say that. I'm saying, did he make enough money to say, fuck it. I'm good. Yes. I'm good for the rest. Yes. Yes. Me and Patricia is talking about the show time.

Like, how much do you need? Well, that's a lie. That's a plan. I need five million. If somebody offers me five million off the townhouse, how much five million? I don't know. I would not feel secure with just five million

for the rest of my life. I don't have that much light not feel secure with just five million for the rest of my life. I don't have that much light. I'm a lot older. I couldn't believe it. 61. That's a good bless you. He could do the 45,000 for the rest of his life. He could be good. Yeah. Well, five grand five mill wouldn't do for the rest of your life. I could not. I would be nervous. That's your sneaker game right now. You know, you know, you see a sneaker game. He is cool sneakers on right now. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. I, um, that, how do you know that? Because I follow you on Twitter. You collect this too. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. One, three, four, five. That's wrong. That's a couple of.

Becky, can you help my foot up? Look at these. Look at these. Look at those sneakers. Those are hot. Those are called deltas. Those are called deltas. Okay, thanks.

Get those at the outlets. Hey, we heard the joke. I'm so happy Becky's here. That felt good. I cut it for me. Whatever. I don't spend money You know, no why I'll spend it on a few things like what experiences sneakers Yeah, but that's not real money. I'm it's not I don't spend extravagant. I don't have a watch over $300-$400. I don't I don't I spent all my home betting

Three four hundred dollars. I don't I don't I spent all my home betting You put a way Brooklyn and Brooklyn and I'm I tell you man How she don't even on sports? No, no, no no bed betting. Oh, I spent a third of my life in bed We should all talk to boss betting Welcome to the show That's it experience. I know what you mean experiences like you know what I just my family vacation So you really she take your whole family with you. Yes, I can want you say to like you know what I did my family vacation so you really so you take your whole family with you yes I can want you say to me I want to go wow that's fucking I you know it's great that's awesome I my dream was to fly my parents my sister who has

bad kidneys and my brother and sister and everybody do a rubah for you know just get a house fly everybody down I think I'm gonna do that it That's the best thing before, man, yeah. Before they die. You paid me my hundred bucks first. I'll pay you hundred bucks after the show. How's that? I'll give it to you after the show. You're not kidding, because you bring it up every fucking time.

I brought it up twice. I forgot it five times. You haven't forgot about it since you won it. No, I forgot about it. When I took it on the phone the other day. No, one day you brought it up then. No, I did it. No, I didn't, I didn't damn it to hell. I didn't forget about it when I took it on the phone the other day. No, one day you brought it up then. No, I did it. No, I didn't, I didn't damn it to hell.

But I didn't forget about it because you knew you didn't bring it up. So you were thinking about it. Don't use my God, that's my God. Has nothing to do with you. Yeah, say Moses. No, holy Moses. Holy Moses, I have been complete. I have seen the specter.

You know what song that is? Yeah. By Bet you don't. Yes I do. What song is that? I mean 100 bucks. No. Why?

That's not Bet you. Bet me 100 bucks. No, I'm not bet 100 bucks. I'm not bet you're not. I'm not bet you're not. Why did I lose 100? And that's what you bet on the sporting event. Yeah, but you wouldn't say Bet me 100 if you didn't know it. Yeah, hold on. He doesn't know it

He doesn't know who it is. I have no idea who it is. Oh, what were you gonna do if he's about you? He wasn't because he's a puswack I'm up who he wasn't gonna bet you know He's a puswack. He's not gonna bet me I push water. Remember that I use that Yeah, push that yours. Yeah, I'm really strong by John boss. It was a couple people pushwack a sled dog Yeah, okay, so what does that yours? Yeah, it really is the problem. It's a problem, John. Boston, we used to call people, push whack, a sled dog.

Yeah. Okay, so what does that mean? It is a pussy. What? Push whack? It has a whack, it's a push whack. Oh yeah. Again, we were heating it, but that's not helping you understand it.

Well, it's a push whack. Like a pushy. You know, you give a pushy off. Yeah, you give a pushy a nice whack, you push whack. I like a cunt punch. We don't say that around here. We don't do that. So you got a fucking 16 and plus show. So sorry. Well, so I mean, you are one of the nicest guys I've ever met in the

business. And it's not horseshit. You've, I mean, from the day I met you, you've been a sweet guy. That's how stern wraps up his shows. I can't. I can't. I can't. This is what I know is hungry wraps. I know it's hungry. Just fucking interrupts every... I know, I'm just...

Well, it's all... You've done it all. Sal, you've done it all. That's what I said. I said he's a nice guy. You think you're stirred. What's up with that watch? Why don't you give me that watch?

You were... Yeah, I'm gonna have that watch. Oh. I have me that take that watch. I get different. Ooh, it's a nice that watch. Why don't you give me that watch? Yeah, I'm gonna have to watch. I have to take that watch. Oh, it's a nice heavy watch. Thanks, buddy. So, I just want to see how nice he was. Look at you guys. A Paul that I took it. Let me have the watch. You can have the wallet. Huh? You can have the wallet. I can have the wall for real. Yeah, you I know. Take your watch. You like to watch. Would you wear the

watch? Take take I don't want to watch buddy I was like a son of a that was a test. That was a test and this is a nice watch. What is this? It's a Nixon I don't know what it's fucking gorgeous take that back You could have it. I don't want you want no I don't want the watch what fucking way I have a brightling over with this whole shit I Don't wear my watch because it's Tuesday. I'm not wearing a $5,000 brightening to the seller. I'm not you. Yeah, it's a fucking Your age is 12,000 yeah, 12,000 because you're an asshole. You paid it. I pay 10. You want this. Yeah, do you want this? Yeah, then say it. Can I please have that?

Can you have what? Can I please have that money clip? No, it's not what can I please have? Can you have what? Can I please have that money clip? No, it's not. What can I please have? I don't remember the name. Talking of the mic. Can I please have the rig? Yes, you can have it.

Here, take that. I'll forget it. No, I'm not giving it. I'm not giving it. There's credit cards. You can put all your shit in it. Everything goes in it. Your money clip, it's a wallet.

What do you say? What would you, your best estimation? What do you think you'd put in it? I would put, I would put, South first of all, I'm picking up on you, you fucking, you know, you say we bust balls, and you suck cats, you suck passive, you're a passive aggressive,

you're a passive aggressive. You should be five percent of this. I want everybody to go back and relic into this podcast right now, and I want you to make notes with a fucking legal pad. How many times, South was a little passive aggressive. We might be aggressive.

Sal's passive aggressive. And you got that from your mom. Listen, this is Gucci. What? It's a Gucci. Who cares? Didn't you not get this? I'm saying I get rid of this for that.

Then give me the Gucci. I can't now there's too much stuff in it. I have to fucking go home and mix it up. That was your wallet? That's one of those fucking crazy wallets like that. I used to have the little one. Do you really want this? I love that.

Are you sure? Yeah, I love it. I'm giving you a new sponsor. I wonder if this is who we're getting next. Maybe. Well, then give me that back. I think you got to read. I got to read.

I'll tell you right now. OK. If it's a ridge, I can't get back. Well, they got a sound. What do you get going on? As far as what. Do you want to know what dates and stuff are gonna be sure so The guys and I need to promote you. I mean, let me can I promote my solo stuff at least please

I mean do we really need to promote I mean 15,000 p. I mean really yeah, of course, you know You should be promoting other people You should be promoting our gigs me and bosses Voss's gigs for the next year. All right. All right. I do. I want to hear your what it is for underwear. The Ridge underwear. Is that Tommy John?

No, it's fucking no. Is it me undies? It's Mac Weldon underwear. Oh, that's good. Are they going to send me some? Well, ask Rob. I don't know. What do you think?

What else I need? No sign? I ran out of my dollar shave club. I'm not my my my razor. Yeah, I'm not your agent. Oh I'm not your manager, okay, but why does it come with a screwdriver? I hate it. I'm asking you questions. So I hate him. Do you understand what it is to be a friend of them? He's just a fucking Honka garbage. Look at him put Put it down. Give me the wall back. Gabby, take it away from him. Take it away from him. It's not the time. It's a screwdriver to fix it. I'm not getting involved physically. Look at it. I hate him. Sal, what do you got?

Look at it. Shut up all his plugs this weekend. We're going to talk right through your plugs this weekend. What is that? You're from Staten Island? Yes, sir. Is that where you live now? Yes. Did you get to have a little apartment Brooklyn too? Are you dope? Did you take a boat here tonight?

A drove tonight. You drove? Yeah, I normally don't. I'm just having a broken apartment. No, not too much because it's tough to people. Look at you with the tie it have. Yeah. What a good looking guy.

Oh, that's nice. You're welcome. I don't see it. Why? I usually don't either. That's why I. Oh, that's nice. You welcome. I don't see it. I Usually don't either that's why I was like that's nice I mean I expect nothing from I better have fucking clip numbers from all the fucking bosses stupid things Look at Marquis. Yes stupid. I'm doing it. All right, let's go. Let's see what he's got. I have a, that's his Twitter. I have San Francisco. This is the Facebook. Do you have a website? It's not up yet. I'm building it. You don't have a website. No, because the Twitter really helps.

What do you mean building it? You fight it. They're making it. Who's they? I don't know. How long do they take? Two questions. It should be up in a day. Yeah, websites take a day. I don't know how long did they take? Two questions. Because it should be up right now. It should be up in a day. Yeah. Well, websites take a day. Not how much about it. Yeah. There will be Savile Cano Comedy when it's ready. So where are you going to be?

So San Francisco this weekend for our day of Cubs. Cubs. Sacramento punchline this Saturday. Then October 5th, I'm at Phoenix Standup Live. And then the Bray Improv on October 6th, Saturday. Phoenix Standup live is great. Yeah, it's great. You get it.

Oh, love it. Great. And then the Paramount in Denver and the Paramount in Austin. And then, so I don't know. So you're doing theaters in your stand up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Good for you, buddy.

Thank you so much. Now those fans, I just went on tour with, we did a little mini tour. Yeah. It was fun and shit. It was me, Bert, Nate, and Kyle canane. We did like some really beautiful We did the Foxy or Detroit. We did Chicago theater. We did a bunch of those that just happened That was so much fun with those guys me. I'm trying to get a toy again. I ended up with those like Kyle canane I was friendly with them. Oh, you know, I'm actually Kyle

I only knew very little but I knew Bert and I knew Nate really nice funny man. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty great guy funny I love they were really fun to tour with to tour with I only knew very little but I knew Burton. I knew Nate really. Nate's funny man. Yeah, this is great. I mean, it burns a great guy funny. I love it. They were really fun to tour with. To tour with him. I don't know. I'm going on a cruise with Burton a couple of weeks. The Calta cruise.

Calta? Yeah, Mike Calta is a big radio guy in Tampa. Are you going for the first? Births. Yeah, but births a friend of his. I'm a friend of his. And he has this cruise every. You're kind of like the cruise you guys did.

Yeah. And what? Nothing. What do you say? Nothing. Well cruise you guys did yeah, and I'm and what Nothing, what do you shake what nothing? Well, you just check your head. What's wrong? I got it to it I hope you can sat motherfucker promise me the cruise this year Mike So why don't you go on it? It's I'm already booked. I'm booked up told look at on an x-year He said that was last year. You should I do it this year? Well, I probably probably just in stay I don't know I probably what I was supposed to do it last year, you should have done it this year. Well, I probably, you probably just didn't stay. I don't know. I probably what? I was supposed to do it last year too. I didn't do it last year. This is, I'm finally doing it this year. You'll do it next year.

I've never done it. I don't even know if I'm going to fucking like being on a boat. But it's literally you go in the first night to 15 minutes and then you're done for the rest of the cruise. Oh, that's no fun. Why? Don't you want to do comedy every night? I don't know yet. I like working every night. When we did his thing we worked every night. It's just fun because you have something to look forward to at night. All day you fuck around, have fun. Yeah. And then at night, you know, if to me if I'm on a cruise, this is just because I only did the one cruise was didn't practical show. That's the only time I've ever been on a cruise. But you

know, we hung out with a comics all day we did stuff. Then we had our show to look forward to at night. Right. So, you know, you know, it's just if you don't have to me as a kind of just me, but I have something to look forward to. I don't drink, but also to me, but also to me, also to me, also to I got to shoot craps a little on the ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, that was fun. I think I'm gonna catch up on my reading. That's nice. Thanks. What? I always bring a book.

I never read it. What? That's beautiful. Thank you. What are you reading? Harry Potter. Over oh. Yeah.

I never was a red one I've never seen. What are you doing? I'm not. I'm like a friend. What are you crazy? I'm like a reading push me to sleep. How much do you think you're worth? What? What do you think you're worth? $72.00.

That's going to be an e-mail tonight. $72.00. Is it? He just brought it up. I know it's a good deal. I'm actually going over the punchline this weekend. So if you listen to Nowbue, the Philly punchline this weekend. And then there's my new website that just went up.

My friend, my square friend Joe No show this Joe put that together very quick real L7 that guy So anyways, yeah, click on it. Please. Oh, it's not loading. So maybe we does take a little longer We should have spent yeah, I'm gonna be where else am I oh? Fat black next Wednesday night you should come down that was so much fun last week 26 want you come down and do a spot on my show at the fat black. I would love to. All right, let me know.

You don't have to do it now. You let me know. It's so fun. I'm here at 11.55. But I have four that night. And I, what time? 8.30. Start to 8.30.

10 minutes spot. 15 minutes spot. If I can go on, I can figure it in if I go on early. But I can't. You go on first. Yeah, Mike Gabby goes up, does like five or six minutes and then feels like 20. Okay. Yeah, that's for sure. I'll do it. Um, yeah, so there you go. So, all right. Go. All right. Let me know you can cancel.

So if you want, you'd be, I would never do that. I just got to make sure the next show will put me on a little later. Yeah, I'm at rumors in Winnipeg. You play that room? Winnipeg? Never heard of it. And then the Caltech Crews and then Side Split is that. I'm doing the Caltech Crews.

Then the fans coming up, we're doing bush gardens for the week. And then I do Side Split and Lewis Gomez is doing headlining Thursday night and Sunday. And I'm headlining Friday and Saturday. That's fun. So, there you go. So come, you get to see Louis J. Gomez, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake on Thursday and then come see us both do a show Friday and Saturday.

So get tickets now. We'll be a lot of fun. And then the West Palm, I'm doing a bunch of dates. I'm booked till March. Scroll that. Let's see those dates. Broom. Look at all that shit.

Come on, baby. Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Act me. I love that club. Back it. I'm doing comics.

Come home again, too. How come you never done that? I just realized I also am doing Salt Lake City Denver and Aspen. Denver and Aspen. Great. All right. So where do they go? Where do they go and find these dates?

I'll just post them soon. I don't know It's gonna be sad what kind of comedy that much be just I do whatever I can never already sold out No, not at all. I just need to He was about to give me a thousand dollar watch I'm trying to thousand bucks. That's a thousand bucks. No that watches a thousand bucks. No, it's a G note This is 200 maybe 250. I give it a watch I've only had it like two weeks you get I'll try you to hold on I'll try you to wallet for the watch But will you wear it though? I'm wearing it right now because if you wear it, please take it

But if you if you're not gonna wear that then don't take it. Why are you gonna guilt me in to give it? What are you going to guilt me in to give it? What are you giving it? Because I really want you to have it. If you're wearing it right now. But when you're putting it on, it doesn't have your essence, but whatever. What do you mean my essence?

I don't speak to you when I watch. Yeah. But if you're going to wear it, take in good health. Take it in good health. Yeah, it really does look good. Next-assized watch doesn't really look... Doesn't fucking move me. I used it right.

Anyways, he used it for good. He was a negative guy. Oh, comedy sell Las Vegas. Have you done that yet? Me, Vos, Vercie. Oh, Vercie, just Vos, Vercie and Keith Ramirez. Yeah, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I just missed you.

Dude, we should go, you wanna do it this? I would love to. Me, you, Vercie Vosos next time. Would you do that? Love to you, man. That's a great you golf. I Don't I don't either I went with them. I had to do it. He does it. No, he sucked at that. I So I got to do a cactus. Say Rick you're over to a cactus. I mean, I'll hit the ball and literally but I know I did the same thing. He's a birdie I got a part five birdie this week you got Nick Griffin Dean Edwards Lynn Coppets and Alan Havie that's a killer show host Mark Cohen

that I mean best room I've ever done in Vegas hands down I had a lot of fun there a lot of fun yeah unbelievable and laughable dot com the only app for podcasting make sure you go to laughable dot com and download the app if you love podcasting you got sure you go to laughable.com and download the app. If you love podcasting, you're gonna get this app. It allows you to not only enjoy the podcast that you love, but find so many more podcasts with people that you love that have been on the shows that you love.

It's just about love, man. So go to laughable. And they take the guesswork out of cook. They just want to go to a shout-out. That's not so sorry. But the guesswork, you put your credit cards in there. You put your money in there. Let me plug in a couple of days.

I'm doing the Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly live. For slash Robert Kelly, please go there. New episode coming up, but I did some shout outs. Oh, I guess shout outs, yeah. Hang on a second guys. Let me just get to South Boss before we get all fucking I want to this week is known the owner of the comedy seller is sat with me in the shed live from the shed and we had a I mean an amazing talk the origin story of the comedy seller where it started from way back in the day. Back.

And his origin story too. And it was so fucking fun, so interesting to any, I mean, what a great, great fucking guess, live from the shed. You should do it. We've all just doing one next week, Monday morning. What? We're pushing it up.

What? What's the discuss that? We'll discuss it. Stop talking to me like you're a fucking agent? We'll discuss it. We'll discuss it. Stop talking to me like you're a fucking agent. We'll discuss it. Mm-hmm. Anyways. I want to thank, oh, oh, here you go.

Comedy artwork for, he made a beautiful piece of art. Can you bring that up real quick? This piece of art he made from my show. I can't tell you how awesome it is. Look at that. How great is that? I mean, that's the history of the show. Right, Dan? Who's the guy with the glasses that's Joe de Rosa? No, next to me. That's Joe de Rosa. Oh, that's a girl. That's Kelly for Stuka. That's, yeah, they got me, get Dan Soda, get Joe list. You got Yannis. I don't

know why Yannis is bigger than Lewis. Yannis is huge. I don't know. I wish to come with that. Yeah, well, he should because, I mean, I love Janice, but Lewis has been on fucking a hundred shows. Where's Lewis? Janice is awesome. He's right there. Who's the black guy? That's key.

That's key. That doesn't look like key. Well, we had a poll. That's Callie Express key by the big guy. I think he's doing a poster for me. He's a good guy. He's great. Yeah, he's great.

Wonderful. Unbelievable. The scope, oh, you got Paul Versey, You got Gabby. You got Lauren. You got Deepo. You got Mike Zach. I don't know why he didn't put you in. He fucking forgot Zach. No one knows what Zach's face looks like Yeah, but oh, yeah, he's probably that's probably why to put you in the black guy might be Zach Yeah, let's just call kids Zach. You should have put a computer in. We'll just say that that's Zach. Yeah, that is Zach. Yeah, that's you Zach. You're the black guy in it.

You're the minority. So there you go. Thank you comedy artwork. I want to thank Steven Brody and Robert Thomas. They are Patreon elite motherfuckers. They're the ones who are given 25 bucks a month. I want to say all you guys that are We're donating or supporting me over on lips and please drop it dump it go to patreon.com.cicero Kelly go donate become a member over there

And stop fucking quitting at the end of the month to scam out of the payment Stop being ridiculous. Just fucking it's it's a cup of coffee a month, five bucks a month, and that's it. I got a bunch of new stuff. I just put one on ones up there. I put all kinds of shit up there. I put a bushcraft party boys up there. We got another one, Verzy coming up.

I got a thing I just shot with Verzy who were going up there. I just put the Max Loucret unboxing me in Maxson was hilarious. So go up there, become a member, please support that. Because I want to, that's how I'm taking all that money and recreating life in the shed. I'm using, I haven't taken a dollar out of it.

It all goes back into producing content for you guys. When you want to have a little fucking chuckle, I'll see some interesting stuff. If you're a fan of mine, if you're not, you know, go fuck yourself. Go ahead, what do you got? Oh, I got a fucking headache. Uh.

Uh. Ha ha ha ha. I got a whole lot of things to do. Ha ha ha ha. I got a whole lot of things to do. I got a whole lot of things to do. I got a whole lot of things to do. I was waiting to get gonged by Mike.

Ha ha ha ha. Uh. Oh my God. I'm not a current. It's a convertible. What is this? I really, I know I'm talking too much. It's just silent and people just look at, I can hear the, like, the hum of the world. Richie, I mean, you have ever review tab on your website?

What? You put up reviews? Of course. Yeah. Because he's back from back. That's what I know. Him and him. He did a review back in the day with Bob Newhart.

For my CDs. Why do you need to review your CDs? So people sometimes, look at, I just switched some stuff. I was supposed to do governors October 26th 27th. I am now doing governors October 5th and October 6th. I'm at Maguire's. October 12th, October, uh, let Mike do it. October, no, let Mike do it October no let Mike do it. You stay your own nights October 11th through the 13th I'll be at the Omaha funny bone right one of the best clubs in the country Those two so just those two I'll give it and but here's our deal with patreon and we didn't do our podcast last week The computer was down. Yeah, it was down. It's me mad. I'm a fucking fan. So we'll listen last week. The computer was down. Thanks me, man. The app was down. Thanks me, man.

I'm a fucking fan. So we're listening every week. We fixed it. Uh, we're doing the podcast Patreon, which we're going to put on some more stuff. Yeah. You know, we're, we lost like a couple of people, but we're getting them back. Every time, but here's a deal. We're getting them.

And then you lose it. Yes. You lose a couple of it every month. Here's the way we're sitting with, with Patreon. We're going to put up more content, some videos. Uh, you know, Bonnie of it every month. Here's the way we're sitting with Patron. We're gonna put up more content some videos You know Bonnie and I are really busy with don't say that just say no, I'm telling you work whatever She's gonna L.A. We don't care. Well, I'm saying you listen You say you're very busy right now, so we're not just saying we're gonna stop putting up contest and walk away.

Because your computer was down last week. All right, that's it. And walk away. And you don't say we're very busy with things. We can't do it right now because we don't care about you motherfuckers. So we got to I'm all in care.

I know. To tell you the truth, you're lucky we're doing Patreon. All right, you're lucky that if we throw something up, be fucking happy. All right, we've done our podcast, 350 episodes for free. So we shouldn't even put anything on fucking Patreon. I used to be paying you motherfuckers, 350 free podcasts. What the fuck did you get?

Did you pay for that? No. So maybe throw five or ten in Patreon. And if we put something up, hey, that's a fucking bonus. How about that? All right, there you go. And come see me live.

I don't fail. Ha ha ha. I feel like that's a new, that should be a new shirt. I don't fail. Ha ha ha. Oh, and Vosrose.com. Of course.

Oh, yeah. All right. I know, but you, you, you've sold as much as you're going to sell with our family. It's like a stroke. We have six months. Oh yeah. All right. I know. But you you sold as much as you're going to sell with our family. It's like a stroke. We have six months. That's what you are. The thing with our fan base. We're going to we got to reach out to other fan bases with the show. Don't do it here. Don't tell me not to plug here. Go on Marin. Go on Rogan. That's a body's going to LA in a couple couple weeks. She's going to do Joey Diaz.

She's doing bird crates here. That's great. I don't think Rogan wants to have her on for some reason. I don't know what it is. Well, maybe because he's having physicists and astronauts. Well, he does have something to best guess on the planet. Yeah, he does. Now he's alive.

I mean, yeah, dude, it's fucking crazy. Yeah, he had Elon Musk. He got to hide with Elon Musk. I know, it's crazy. It's a different level. It is. I did his podcast twice. I had a great time. It got high with Elon Musk. I know, it's crazy. It's a different level. It is. I did his podcast twice. I had a great time back in the day.

Yeah, but he still has comics on. Yeah, once in a while. Yeah, I don't listen. He, look at, Marin had the president on, all right? He's still, he's had some of the biggest people, but they still mix it up and Rogan mixes it up. You know, whatever, whatever. But she's going to do Joey Diaz, Burk, Chryycher, you know, so we're trying to get it, you

know, it's hard to reach out to other fan bases. Yeah, we know what I mean. Let's take some of the money you made off of it. I didn't make that much. I promoted it for him. He did. He helped him. It's, we didn't make a lot.

But the thing is, what we did is we put out a product that's so good that will live forever on the fucking internet So it doesn't matter. Yeah, we didn't get rich off it by any sense. Is it up on YouTube yet? No Well, it was it was stolen. We lost three thousand downloads Wow Whatever we want to do more you should and we'll see all right Jesus Christ What do you mean? I didn do a fucking monologue. Fucking hell. Mike's falling asleep. Well, good. He's pretending he's listening to himself on stage. Fuck him. I don't care. That's what that was mean. That was mean. That was mean. He doesn't get on stage. Mike, what do you got? You see that the lantern or the creek here in the city.

Not leaving as much as I used to. What? I'm trying to leave the city as much because I was always gone. Oh, good. Yeah. So if you guys got gigs, how hook my cup? If you got gigs out there. And we need illustrators and what else do we need?

Video editors. Video editors, stuff like that. What is it, producer at? YKWD producer at riotcast.com? Yeah, if you have anything you want to, we're starting to ramp up this social media, right? Yep. Yeah. Love that. Yeah, I mean, you could be a little more enthusiastic.

I know your face. Gabo, what do you guys? I have a podcast with Katie Hanigan called Apod Calyps. Bobby was on that. Vos was on that. That was fun. So check it out. And I'm next week is my last pod for a little bit. For a little bit, you're going LA.

Going LA, going LA. But we're filming Monday. Filming Monday. We're filming you live from the shed. Fat black. Maybe not that. We're doing Wednesday night. Yeah.

You were with me in Boston. Yeah, we had so much fun in Boston. Great, gay, right? It was fucking awesome. Lath Boston. Saturday night was fucking packed out. It was great. It was so fun.

This last weekend in DC, what a great room that was, too. What's the room? The DC Draft House DC, the one downtown. It's like a black box theater. And the reason why it's so good, and I love that these people are just saying, fuck it. Let's not just do what comedy clubs do. They fucking black boxed it. So you can't buy food.

It's snacks. You get a bag of chips, some skittles and a fucking. Like a theater show. It's it. And you go in like a cop sale 70 minutes. Got no, no MC fucking 50 some ass ass off 20 20 minute dude in front of you funny guy good guy. I do I did an hour I was supposed to do 50 but I always do an hour and it was murder no check spot because there's no fucking check I fucking no fucking check the comedy clubs that do check spots

You literally fucking I law I I lost it at a client on a say where they did the check spot 20 minutes into my set I go why would you not do it one you could sell another round the drinks right keep it going you know I was some and I go there's no fucking show after this what the fuck are you dropping them for especially on the second one? And because they want, they don't, they want to be ahead of the game. They don't want to fucking have people, and people don't leave. If people leave, you're fucking stupid. Have somebody at the door, making sure people have, it's a stamp receipt to leave.

It's just fucking, it's talking to the mic you fuck face. We're on a show still. It's amazing. The tech spot, whatever we're on a show still it's amazing The tech spot whatever you know comics like you me we can handle it But there's no reason not having a cheque spot is the best thing is is is euphoric I can't describe it any better than you fork having a wait just walk up to a table at around 50 of 45 minutes into your set Talking like can I get you anything else? Fucking mind numbing. And you can't win. You can't win. You just have to fucking let it go. Because you can yell at these clubs. You can say something and you'll fucking be the asshole. You'll be the fucking. So DC Drafthouse, good on you, no check spot God and the comedy

selling no check spots good on you know what a great club. So yeah you're gone. Yeah, but you'll be back. We'll be back. Vos Monday and your father Monday. Yep. That's too live from the shed that's gonna be fucking crazy. It's gonna be fucking great. It's gonna be awesome. And Becky's gonna take over for me for a little bit and we're lucky to have Becky's gonna be a she really is great. I mean you couldn't there's Becky right bit. And we're lucky to have Becky's gonna be a, she really is great. I mean, you couldn't, there's Becky right there. She'd have sat next to her the whole time.

You could sit there Becky. She's so fucking great. She's the best. I really do have a great, follow her on Instagram. She does amazing photography, comedy photography. Unbelievable. It's at human place, right?

With it. That mic works right there. Is it not? It's putting on the whole time at your mic. It's at human places. The ease of three. She's adorable, right? A new hair. Nice purse.

Good. Thanks. Try now blue. I just like a little angel. I can't. All right. I'm excited. I gotta run.

All right. We're going to go Zach. What do you got? Zach, the new guy. Well, that's why you face isn't in the fucking. Anyway, Zach, I love run. All right, we gotta go. Zach, what do you got? Zach, the new guy. Oh, that's why you're facesin' in the fucking... Anyway, Zach, I love you. You guys are the best fans of the world to see you next week. On the original fucking comic podcast, the funniest fucking comic podcast, we're the

fucking motherfuckers and I beg you, I fucking dare you to fucking say something different. Even though Legion of Skanks was really fun last week great podcast great podcast great podcast I'll talk to you later bye you've been listening to the YKWD podcast thanks for listening now go back to your shitty jobs shitty jobs check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

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