Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Like Lava

Episode Date: November 30, 2015

This week on YKWD:  We have Chris Distefano, Harrison Greenbaum, and Sean Patton. We talk about how trying to be productive on the road never works out, comedy in New York compared to comedy elsewhere, and Sean's experience working on Reality TV. This one was a blast! Enjoy!    RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Y qué es lo que es? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Más bien, más bien! La más grande es la casta de la plana. Es la que me ha hecho como un caminete. I love you, I love you To the funniest podcast on the planet Earth

That was trying to keep it like a comic head I have a bunch of guys on It's just us sitting down And sometimes it's hilarious Sometimes it's intense No topics of direction But I love doing it This podcast has no rules

Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already touched So there's root graphics It's rubber code You know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what dude! I guess...

I'm playing cast again. I guess... I'm trying to... ...proud... ...it... Man, what's up? Alright, guess who's back? Bob fucking K.

B to the Ellie. Bobby to the I motherfucking E. Bob of the B. I'm back, motherfuckers. Welcome back. The dude is back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Once again, I don't know how to rap. I wish I knew it. I'm bad with lyrics. Yeah. Well, you're I wish I knew it. I'm bad with lyrics. Yeah, well you're bad with rapping. Well I'm good with rapping. I think. Dude I can rap the mic all night, hit it out of the park, do you lose your sight?

The moon grabs it, throws it back down, hits you in the fucking top of your crown. Whipsy in the mustache, kicks you in the teeth. All of a sudden you can't eat beef on Bobby K on the mic, rapping all goddamn night Hitting it to the fucking Harry motherfucker that just came in the room It was a good lyrics, but the third word out of your mouth was pock in your shitty Boston accent, so I was out dude That's fucking uniqueness. I was out. I'm a unique rapper. That's like a that's like a

One of those Jewish rappers a city city quit what's his name what was his name on the top modus yahoo modus yahoo that was a with the hip-hop knowledge yeah shoni show an update like a black person with the hip-hop i am from uh... chris uh... just a just a little bit just uh... just just seven oh listen to me. Yes, I am fucking good with rap. You are listen to me

I just laid it down and it scared you it was it was honestly was very good You were like oh, yeah, I was like you'll fizzle out and then I was like oh, I got the park choke lined up Didn't do well and then I so I had the park choke on deck I thought that would get more. It got nothing. And then I was like, I actually did a pretty good job wrapping. Is that about people fucking with my boss and accent that I don't like to laugh at it? It bothers me. Let me ask you this.

Do you think as far as, like I got an audition where I got to play a guy from Boston? But do you think Boston, New York, Chicago, those accents all sound enough, similar enough to America that a casting director would be like, you don't have to change my accent to be more Boston. I get Boston a lot. What do you think? What do you think? Well Bob, because Bobby's a Boston guy,

you would know that I'm from Boston. Would I know you're not from Boston? Yes. I know, when I watch a movie, Black mass or I know when somebody's not from boss Right, how's leave Shrober? Do you is he good? Do you have a accent? Who's that the guy? No, the guy you know which one he don't have an I here's what I'm not good at this goes back to my back to my point I'm not good at stats. I'm not good at remembering lyrics. I don't do that You know what I mean? i don't know how to

uh... uh... dude uh... fucking what's in there i'm always what's the name and even if i just saw the movie i don't know i can be a huge fan use right i know the top tier people that's it criss-aven superman last time i was here you know that i'm talking about the american tom hearty i already yeah okay he's the red on event you know i like how i'll read you said if she's watching movie you know the actors aren't from Boston

The actors in the movie. Yeah, that's yeah, yeah, no, but you were like I can tell if these guys are from Boston not but you know If they're from Boston or not I don't know am I not to might as loud as you guys? No, okay, I'm so emotional. I think you are No, like like like like in the games good on his mics. I think yeah. Yeah. People is wearing a fucking turtle neck, by the way, for people that can't see he's wearing a fucking shitty. Yeah, that's that's actually mock. What's it called a mock turtle neck? Yeah, I'm sorry. What was your point? Dude, first of all, who are you? All right, I'm Sean. Sean Pat. Dude, Sean Pat, everybody. I heard nothing but good things.

First time on the show. First time on the show. Uh, thanks for coming down. Uh, we from first of all. New Orleans. No, no shit. Yeah. Like you're ready. I like Cajun. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't remember me. I was shit. But you once busted my balls in Montreal. You and, you and fucking rich boss. What do we do? Uh, I there with another comedian, Calcane, and you and Voss decided, ball bust in time, so you came over and just started, it was more Voss than you, just giving me shit, I was wearing glasses, had no beard, and you were like, look at this nerd bluschy, look at this nerd bluschy. Pretty funny line, I don't know.

You're still getting laps over. So we went and fucking Voss was like, how long have you been doing COF? How long have you been doing COF? a boss was like a how long you been doing coffee i don't even do a count you can't go get me coffee did you do that yeah maybe did that to me a long time ago he does it that's like a lots of a tricky does that's it's me a month ago that's actually his thing i guess but i did the i did the thing now and how long you make coming i'm gonna do six years

it coffee black to show this yeah whoo what where's he from boss uh... jersey i think right or filly uh... what was his from did you i did you

bobby doesn't care what's from no so i feel bad about his mid-bourque uh... that's christie d get it up that's me me. I'm from fucking Brooklyn. Okay here to my accent. Come on do it. I got bits freestyle fucking freestyle. That's all I do son hit you in the get your mom blown What? I'm a man

Deepo Deepo with the smug neck Fucking punjabi This feels like you guys have been you guys have been here all night so All night freestyle Fucking feels right You are you still mad at me for that? No, no, I got you pretty good.

Cause I got you, you were busted by balls, and I did the, Hey man, what's that? Under thing, and you looked down a bam. I got you with the, I got you with the zip up the nose. Old school. That's Vos's bit too. But then Vos's, Vos was like, oh look at a kid. God, I was like, hey, thanks, thanks.

And when he went for the hand, I pulled, did the pull back. Yeah. And he's like, give me the coffee money back. Yeah, well I figured Now with boss all you have to do is laugh at him if you laugh at his jokes. He loves you That's what it is. You just coming in and you laugh at any comic. Yeah, no, but you If you laugh at him and you tell him he's great What's happening? This is awesome. Oh, you haven't been here, studio, this is awesome.

Oh, you haven't been in here. No, this is my first time. No, you were here once before. I haven't seen all the stuff moved in, all the, you were here when I wasn't here, right? Am I correct? We taped it in the cell, like in the, oh yeah, fuck, oh yeah, this is the new studio.

And we have the old table. What should be a new sound bucket in here? This is my podcast, looks right? So yeah, we all have desks. This is it. We have with our logos on them. Yeah. Hi Harrison.

Hey, how you doing buddy? What is my name? Some pad? Okay so making sure you do well. Sean, this is an LAA meeting. No crosstalk. No crosstalk? I am neither sober nor do I live in Los Angeles anymore. Oh, you're back in New York?

Yeah, welcome back. All right. Back to the good guys. What we were talking about. What the fuck were you talking about? You brought up something before you brought up your resentment. You have. I got done.

I thought I got over my resentment. I like it. Well, good. No, you said you can tell when you see a movie, if the person's not from Boston, but you know they're not from Boston because they're an actor. So you say in the character. Yeah, well, yeah, we can tell. You know, we're saying I don't actually remember what my point was. I'm not saying they're not from Boston. I'm saying they're I can tell they're they're not Boston. They're not doing the the point is they're not doing the accent correct. I can, so if I, if I can hear somebody, right, I just fade into it where I forget they're doing an accent,

it's a good accent. If they'll every time, like, okay, Raid Dunnevin, he can do it. There's a couple of the people that don't have that conflict. But Raid Dunnevin's wife is fucking awful. She's a, Raid, Raid, she's an Irish. It's a fucking ho-oper-ray.

It's too crazy. Yeah, you're It's almost like there was times in the first season of sopranos with James Gandalfini He has accent was that was not a new Jersey mob accent on then somebody probably was like you don't and then his second season He came became a Jersey. Yeah, he probably watched it was like a shit. I'm yeah, I'm laying it on a little heavy Yeah, yeah, I lived in Boston for for shit. I'm yeah, I'm laying it on a little heavy. Yeah, yeah I lived in Boston for for four years and there are some dudes who really had like comically insane Boston access Like his access real Boston. Yeah yours right now. Oh, yeah, total real authentic Boston right now so tamer parking cars

Yeah, no, I know guys that from my Charlestown Bobby. Oh, yeah, you fucking quacks. I got a fucking That's the real life. Yeah, it's it's in it's bad like the guy the fish remember the big fish thing Yeah, the video the viral video. Yeah, what's a fucking That was you doing a character. I know everybody's like Any fucking Twitter I know everybody's like What's up? What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I was on the road with Jay for like a year and basically the Boston thing now come out again That I fucking loved is I saw that saw like the all stop guys one second, but One second what the fuck? Do it up there? Was it not recording the whole time? Oh, we got everything That before it just happened I just And it what the fuck what is this guys? The enigma come on poo? Fucking figure it out. Yeah, man shot the fuck up wait a second guys. I'm so sorry. I don't know what the fuck is

I don't know what's going on. Oh, you mother's cunt There's that there it is Mommy cunt got a guy. That's his D'you know what check it just hang on hang on all right All right, all right, shut them's come your mom's come all right So he does what is him a joke lined up he makes believe it's a glitch in the system so can catch up Yeah, he's looking for a set list. All right I got it. What's it?

What are you doing? I'm just for the record. I didn't touch other right? Yeah, I'm going to do shit. This is where in the free shirt he got yesterday. Oh yeah, love it, sure, it's fantastic. Fred love it's a Brooklyn way. Yeah, there you go. That is a good shirt. Oh, that's a Brooklyn brewery show. Yeah, no, yeah, Brooklyn. Yeah, Brooklyn always, that's what it's known for. Spreading love.

Spreading love. Yeah, not for murderous. Yeah, yeah. It's like a weirdo Brooklyn. Love is a really nice way to call HPV. Yeah. It's, I love, I love, I mean, I like it. He tried, all right, he can go take it like all right. I mean I liked it. He tried all right. We're gonna take it all right

I'm sorry dude. I was overruled. I saw his face and he was like huge as verbal so fucking whatever What is the rag what is that that's the bomb band? I will get it when you I'll probably want it winds up over here at the end So don't worry about it. I usually try really hard at the end of the show to get some zingers out and you guys just stare at me and I literally slowly wrap knots in it and We are on your podcast though. Yeah, but it doesn't matter that the king takes its behind the table Yeah, I uh huh until his throne is dethroned. I just can't fit on that side of the table I need the round side you got that I thought it was just because it's your size. Wow, glad it's over there. I'll try it.

I just got back from Canada. We got some. Where in Canada? I did all of Canada. I did the Jistful Afs tour, which used to go from St. John to Vancouver all the way across. Now they split it Toronto to Vancouver and everywhere when the peg when a peg when a peg is right here Calgary

uh... Cahari no Quebec is um... they don't do that because that's Montreal and they have it so they don't do that but when they just did half of it they don't like the Toronto over and I did all these, it's all, you know, 25 of 100 theaters, big theaters. Me, Cristella Alonzo.

I like this stuff. Yeah, Cristella's great and Graham Chitatin, little cute dude, adorable, I want one. And then, and then Jerry D, who actually is a big star up in Canada. Has his own show, called Mr.. D and he was a great guy

Very funny show to I love his fucking show reminded me of the show psych on USA network Really funny show, but yeah, I was up there for three weeks and I ate my way through that fucking country Here's a problem when you what is that? I have no idea. Here's a problem when you do I didn't even know we had a phone up here. Can you can we go that no one's bad phone? I don't know. Can you go find out what it is though? Instead of standing there and you go shut it off or answer it or something. This is fucking scopal. The scopal just I don't know. Scopal lost weight. The scopal looks good now. I'm last year when you add on weight you look like like a long island mom Like like like like like those moms that like you know used to be in good shape and a few kids Actually, you know what he looked like he looked like

What's that thing you do in the Olympics curling? Curling look like a like a like a Canadian woman's curler woman's curl with this fucking shape Like the one at the end though. That does the real quick Hey, look at him curling hips Yeah, but it looks good again. No good again What they say I speak to gnome yeah, all right, that's weird. I didn't want you to answer it I just want you to find out where it was. Why'd you answer it? I? Just need that on audio so in case gnome goes with the fun

I go and now there's no message now that person thinks there's a message being delivered to I said okay, so anyways, dude I don't know if you guys know this but when you go on the road for a while Yeah, you know you're gone and you like I'm gonna write I'm gonna I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna fucking eat right This is my time this next three weeks is my time away. I'm gonna buckle it down. I'm gonna come back with a fucking pilot, a show by Children's Book.

I'm coming back, 20 pounds lighter, it's got maybe hair, I might find hair. Right. Second day, I know you do a set a new record for how many times in a single day you can masturbate. Yeah. I'm in, I did seven. That's one thing I didn't do, I didn't is set a new record for how many times in a single day you can master it Seven I did seven that's one thing I didn't do it and jerk off a lot really yeah, you know why I'll tell you why cuz I got me Look it. I had that on my iPad pro. Oh, that's gonna That's a boner killing. I wanted to ask you about that cuz as a new dad

I was watching you know following your thing through Instagram. I was like I Don't it would scare me to To have the thought that I may have to go away for three weeks or a month in my career and how could I go away for my daughter for that long? It's the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Seriously, like I was like, shit. Dude, it's the worst thing I've ever done in my fucking life.

I've ever done in my life. Yeah. It's don't answer it, fuck them. When I saw your post back in New York, I went to see my family, I was like, I've never done it in my life. Yeah, yeah, it's don't answer it, fuck them. Yeah, because when I saw your post back in New York, I went to see my family. I was like, I felt for you. I was like, I couldn't. If you know what I felt like, I felt like I was on a fucking,

like the International Space Station because everything was through this, it was just my head looking into the screen and them, and duh, and dude, towards the end, when he ate a Russian children Oh my dumb kid that can't speak it Dude he got so excited at the end when he into the phone Well, he my wife answered she went, you want to talk to Dott and he looked over and he went, Dott!

And he almost lost it. Yeah. Wait, how old? He's two and a half. God, I was hoping you would say 17. Yeah. I would have if I had a photo, a funny bone in my body.

You wanted to say, now we out, you're fucking bearded douche. I'm fucking trying. I was so funny because I wish you were funny. I wish you said the funny thing, so I could have done that. Yeah, yeah, dude, it was terrible. There's no fucking way around it. You have to come up with the time limit that you can deal with.

Three weeks is too much for me. Too much? You would never do that again. Well, there's a money factor in this, too. Three weeks, for what they paid me three weeks was exactly at the point I'm the fuck out. Right, right. Two more days, 10 more thousand.

Right, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, yeah, there's a money factor that you have to, you're responsible for the family. So, so you have to come up with whatever that number is in your head, to say, I will leave my son or daughter whatever my family for This much time for this much money, right, you know, so yeah But it was it was a here's the thing about GFL you have to worry about anything everything's taken care of yeah

So you fly the fucking and you go to the hotels and there's you know Suzanne and Tanya and you know all those people Zoe Who take care of everything, so you know that's the one thing you don't have to worry about right? They take away the anxiety of the trip right really all you have to do is the press Which Canadian press is a blast yeah, you're never getting fucking bang boozeled. It's not, you know, some, you know, hey man, what do you think of fucking Dinkook? And they play his fucking song that he wrote. And you know, it's like,

yeah, it fall wood, you're like, gosh, you know what I mean? Where, you know what I'm saying? So it's all you're trying to get you. They're just, hey, great to have you, you know? It's so easy. It's so easy. You want to actually opening up a lot.

Cause it's so nice. And then when I was a kid, you know, he hit me the second time Oh, he did the second time. Is that where your comedy comes from? It there's a lot of pain and funny, right? You're like yeah That was the Irish second In Canada first. Well, I'm not good at there wasn't there was a lot of Irish people can't Why can't they be Irish Canadians? Is that what you're saying? Oh, he's a millisecond time man.

Oh, he had like maple syrup and whiskey. God, that would be the most unhealthy motherfucker you've ever meet. I mean, the Irish Canadian. So, yeah, it was fucking crazy dude. Well, what you got to do when you go on those long tours, is you got to go, instead of what you're doing, I'm going to smoke cigarettes. I'm going to drink till five. I don't wanna hook up with a dude

for some weird reason. Oh no, I'm gonna do it. No, I didn't do it dude. I did three dudes. But then you come back and you're like, oh, I got a book, 10, 25 new minutes. Yeah, no, you gotta just think the other way. The book's about fucking dudes.

And the 25 is about home gay. And then you become famous. No, it's about how you're not gay. You're just lonely. That's the only way a white guy can get famous anymore, is if you just, I'm gay too. You have to be bisexual though. You have to be married and have a husband.

When you're a boyfriend. You have to have some, you can't just be 30 years old and white anymore if you want to make it. You can't, it's impossible. You have to have an angle and something, even if you make up, I'm thinking about making up parts of my story. And then if I'll get crucified for it in 10 years, but by that time I'll be alright. No, it's like money.

And then whatever. Being a fucking comedian these days is like, it's like being a clothing article. If you don't come off the racks and immediately sell, you just got to stick it out until you become hip in the fucking thrish. Until it comes back, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the until you become hip in the fucking thrift store. Till it comes back, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the first time.

Well, the now, the white male comic. Yeah. We have platform shoes, we have vinyl shirts. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm a leather jacket with that big collar. Yeah, exactly. I'm an AC DCT shirt.

Just banging out there. I'm the button down with the big, with the, you know? Yep. What the fuck, what the fuck? I don't know, I haven't figured out what I am. I'm the button down with the big with the, you know? Yep, the one with the head. I don't know, I haven't figured out what I am. That was a flat tire. I came up with the analogy. That was a flat tire. That was a flat tire.

Give that back. That's true. I'll take it for now because yeah, you're right. I'm flat tire. Because I had the, I had the, I said that Chris looked like a long-time mom and a bond. So, well, here's a deal. A bond.

You know, yeah, it was tough, dude. It was really tough. And it's really hard to go on the road because I don't drink and I'm a bummed. So, well, here's a deal. A bummed. You know, yeah, it was tough, dude. It was really tough. And it's really hard to go on the road because I don't drink and I don't do a stuff. And food is my only thing. Right. You know, my only, because I don't fuck, hookers anymore, you know, which would have been great

if I could have just fucking spent, you know, a couple hundred bucks on getting, you know, as I slide massage and Vancouver with some chick with hairy armpits. Right. But I didn't do any of that, so I just ate, I fucking ate and ate, because there's amazing fucking restaurant.

Yelp is the worst thing for fat people. Because I just yelp fucking pig fat. And just nine recipes. And I'm just like, Canada has to do your screen name on Yelp, right? They have a, Canada has all about cheese and meat. Yeah, dude.

You teen. They got a whole lot of... They got a great restaurant. I spent four days in Vancouver. I ate my way down the block. Everyone tells me that's the most beautiful city in Canada. It is. My favorite city, I would move there.

To Vancouver? Yeah, yeah. That's the favorite city in the world that you've been to? No, New York is, of course. New York is number one. I mean, it's just because it does everything. It has the city, it has the country, you know, 20 minutes away. It has the suburbs, it has the restaurants, it has the business. I mean, but if I could move to another city, Vancouver would be wonderful.

Vancouver, it's like they took, I feel like they took San Francisco and New York and a little bit of Boston and just smashed it together and put it by the war They film every TV show there now like every TV show that's always the sub city for Toronto and Vancouver Yeah, they do a lot of movies up there too fucking Kiev or like rock. It feels very Eastern European too Yeah, it does yeah, but it's very Asian. Yeah, very Asian because Japan's right there, and but you know It's funny you'll watch these movies that is supposed to be in New York City and if you can't if you're smart enough you can see the mountains yeah because rain cover there's mountains like right there I'm talking fucking massive mountains so it's you feel like you're in New York and then you looked at a block and there's a huge mountain

that's why I love it too it's right I think those are the rocky still the other other continuation of the rocky, they call them the Rockies. The Rockies. The Rockies, matey. Now that's Scottish. Wait, then, did you, when you went, when you were in Vancouver, did you go, did you pass a clean injection site?

That is in Canada, if you're a heroin addict, as long as you bring your own heroin, they have clean injection sites. They give you like a sterilized needle, you shoot up, they make sure you don't swallow your tongue. This is what fucking bugs when you go to the bank. And canter in general, mainly Vancouver.

Is that weed, you can smoke, where you can do this clean injection shit. You can't smoke a cigar within fucking three meters of a building. Really? So I was in Toronto, I bought a box of Frank Carrentes, which is a beautiful cigar company up in Toronto that, what's his name? Aaron Berg hooked me up with, right? Yeah. And I couldn't smoke him anywhere. I had a smoke like a fucking crack addict in

an alley. Yeah. Just going to those heroin things. They'd be thrilled they are listening to it in cigar. Yeah. Fun. Yeah. It was crazy. It's like you can smoke weed. You know, go into those heroin things they'd be thrilled they are almost sick fine yeah it was it was crazy it's like you can smoke weed yeah fuck a smoke joints but you can't smoke a cigar yeah it was nuts it's probably inside huh?

they have like yeah Toronto they do they have these things you can go in a smoke yeah if you're not too late decriminalized in Canada yeah so can you do weekend and afternoon cooverer like do they have a comedy club that would host the headliner? yeah comedy mix oh yeah they have a lot? Like do they have a comedy club that would host that headliner? Yeah, comedy mix. Oh, yeah, they have that. And they got, they got, they got, they got, Yuck Yucks.

Oh, okay. The comedy mixes are her better. Bigger better. Yeah. It's the only club I've ever been to. It's in the basement of the hotel. But I think it's club. Yeah.

But I've never had that experience where it's like, oh, between shows, I'm just gonna shoot. Lamp's Boston is like that. You've done Lamp's Boston. I didn't know what's in a hotel and you do the comedy club and then go up to your room. The guest club things also in the hotel You just yeah, the comedy mix is really good though. We started up by there I think it was one of the nights we were there the manager was great room layout is fucking great low ceilings

Beautiful stage the waitress is not in the fucking way. Yeah, the crowds are a little fucking stick y'all shit out Yeah, always a woman right Yeah, the crowds are a little fucking stale shit out. Yeah always a woman I don't know why it's always a chick that has to yell shit out New Jersey as it's following a bit where you're like bitches is dumb Now we can't fucking drive. Yeah, but who does that shit anymore? Nobody name one comic nobody does that all that fucking shit's been beaten out of us. Yeah, we fucking We've you know women. We don't even do, what guy comment goes,

when or anything? You have, you haven't been talking about. Have you done the Orlando in-properationally? They act like that. No, but I've had some features. I've had, I swear to God, I've had some features in the last year, who are older than me, who will do that.

You can tell they'll wait till they can, they get some of that in the role. Why can't I say Mexican? And you're like, yeah, nobody said you couldn't say Mexican. That guy's gone. That guy's gone. That guy's gone. They're all being paid out. There's no more. That's even fucking exist anymore. That's not real.

You can't go on stage and go, what the fuck's up with you? You can't do it. The ISIS can do it. That's it. The ISIS, there was an ISIS comedy scene. They would be all over the women. We're done, dude. You can't, you can't, you can't, not even like, you can't even bring up a joke like that,

even if it's, if it's fucking a good joke. Like that joke I did about a black lives matter, and then they go, you know, the rallies, you're like, say black lives matter, 11 times. And I, and I heard a black, I go 11. You know what I mean? Yeah. They all get, oh. Yeah. It's like, 11 you know what I mean? They all get oh

Yeah, it's like are you fucking not even listening? Yeah, it's like you're not even listening anymore Trigger word just yeah, it's just waiting for that fucking word to go to the other word they shut down I don't think about think about the honey mooners how the big the heads of 50s. Yeah big To the moon Alice you can't even say that sort of shit and you can't Girlfriend I will punch you under your fucking On the family you can't have all the family. Yeah, well, yeah, they were like race. I mean they would go straight up races You can say that but you can say that you can do all that shit if You're a minority right right if you're a woman you can do all that shit if you're a minority right right if

you're a woman you can do shit jokes yeah yeah you can you can you can do fart jokes and shit jokes and yeah but you we I if I do them I'm just fucking whatever you're right you're asserting your white privilege we're on camera let's all blow each other now we're gay gay guys. That's it. And then we'll be next to you. And then we'll have a split script deal. Seriously, we all fucking just sagged each other's cocks right now. And we were like, dude, we got a show. No, break it.

It's six guys, roommates. They're comics and they're all in love. It's basically just the normal pilot. We were normally right just occasionally at the blow end. Teapoo comes Who comes in with the fucking deep who comes in with the smock turtle neck Yeah, but we make Harrison straight Harrison comes you guys are sucking dick again No, that's my cat's right. What are you doing? You got no you guys are sucking dick again. No, that's my cat phrase. What are you doing? I just walked out. You guys are queens.

That's the best thing I got. Anyway, I felt like shit. When I came back, I was a, dude, every plane we got on, it slowly got harder and harder. I was praying. Did you put on weight for sure? Dude, I put on weight. I gotta stop.

I actually called the nutritionist today. I'm done. I just can't do it. I tried for two years, the last two years, to get my shit together. Like I've done it in the past. I've always just said fuck it and buckle down and just went into beast mode and went to the gym at night

and didn't eat chicken and broccoli and oranges and I can't do it anymore. I don't know if it's because I have the kid, I don't have the time. I can't be as selfish as I was or I'm more depressed or what the fuck it is. You're saying you can't eat like shit anymore? Are you saying you can't eat healthy? I can't eat, I gotta change everything.

I gotta change the way I eat. I gotta go to the gym, I gotta change everything. Everything's gonna switch the fuck over because I'm gonna fucking fall. I'm just gonna grab my chest on the show one day. You know what I mean? You guys just sit there and fuck fucker keep going. Yeah, I'll take over the mic We got opportunity In ratings by the way. Yeah, I was like

I'm in and back all these views are mine now So just like I sit on you to be up a little bit Do you use the bomb rag to the bomb rag? I'd be like I was a little switch of plans and I'd do all my bits. You know what, Chris is definitely not. Yeah, you know what, dude, I would do the whole thing. And we have a little stuff. You used the bomb rag, the wife is the foam. We do a quick memorial thing.

I was getting on that one. He stepped right over it, but I got it. Yeah, thank you. I did. Hey, thank you. If you're gonna be a good host when he died, you gotta step out. And pay for that.

Well, I was in my opening mode, so I was still doing my monologue. I fucking introduced you. I'm going to introduce you yet. Okay, my monologue. Let me do that. I haven't even introduced you guys. Chris, real fast, go to the room. Oh, yeah, Sean Patton.

To my right right here, Chris is definitely no. And then Harrison Greenbound, everybody. Yeah. So real quick, right behind me up here, we have the Boston Bruins, the Sox the Patriots and the Celtics What actually is a Bruin? It's a bear. Oh shit I don't know that picture right behind those mugs. Who's that is that a lady?

That's all that's Jo DeRose's fricken sweetheart. Oh The beautiful Heather Graves. Heather Graves actually who is I just love her to death she she's a big fan of the show she's she's donated a bunch and she's always come to my shows live and she listens to the show every week and she loves all the comics on it she supports everybody that comes on the show she sent these to us like I said you can send these we got the address right what's the address come up 17 Mcdougal Street one7 McDougall Street.

117 McDougall Street and what's the care of the comedy seller? Care of the comedy seller. What's the zip code? I think it's 1-0-0-2-1. Is it? I got a double checker. Double checker that when you can send us stuff.

All this stuff is from fans. Every single thing behind me almost is from fans. We got a bunch of room over here. We got a bunch of stuff so we'll find room for it. So thank you Heather for sending that and we also brought got these right here. That too vain of a cock from a fan. That's actually the go mess. That's the go mess. The dick gavillus.

You have to grab the dick in order to gavill I guess. Yeah. Order in the courts. You have to have ready a Travis of Travis Bundy I believe right? No relation to Ted. No. Said these graphic novels. No. It's a piece that we're I'm going to check out. I'm going to read them and Did he write them? I guess children's fan. I wrote them. So I'm going to I appreciate you setting those in. That's something I got into in my 30s Well, you know, yeah, you want to read one of these and what and when give us a review come back and give a review

Yeah, I'll look I'll gladly that so there well. I'll read one and you read one and we'll give a review So thank you for sending those in you guys are the best and It's one zero zero one two One zero zero one two Heather Graves is the best that was for the new studio so we really appreciate that so guys back to the show yeah sure I slipped that in that's what helps us do if I do okay I know how to slip shit in it's called segwaying segwaying yeah I got it no one the conversation let's now we move on here's the thing you Christopher did Boston comics come home which I couldn't do

which I was fucking bummed about. Yeah. God, what a lineup. Say it was a lineup. It was a, uh, Steve Wright, Steve Wright, Lennie Clark, Dennis Leary, Jimmy Fallon, Louis CK, Ray Romano, Steve Sweeney, and me.

No, Burr? No, Burr. Now, Burmian Burr and Kaz again last year. Yeah, okay. The TD Garden, you know, basically the Boston Garden. Boston Garden. So 15,000 year. Yeah, okay. The TD Garden, you know, basically the Boston Garden. Boston Garden. So 15,000 people. I love this.

I wanna first. I wanna first. Yes. I got to ask honest questions about this. Is it fun at all performing in front of that many people? I'm gonna be 100% honest with you. Going into it, and every time I would see someone do an arena, I would be like, oh, the intimacy that you lose,

it probably is like you just do your jokes and move on, and it's not as fun, it's just for the money or whatever. But when I was up there, at least the Boston Garden, I don't know if Madison Square Garden or other in this feel like this, but it felt like just a big comedy club. It still felt intimate because the closest person to you was had their knees on the stage. It was, you were performing and you heard the laughs all around you and there wasn't anybody behind you. They had the back section closed off and the whole audience was out in front of you. And if they gave you and the jumbo tron

and I tell you the truth, about five minutes into my set, I realized how relaxed I was and I got nervous because it was like, am I not taking this as serious, but I was just fucking around and, you know, Kurt Schilling was there and I was just like, am I not taking this as serious, but I was just fucking around and Kurt Schilling was there. And I was just like having a lot of fun. And it was before I knew it, I mean, the 10 minutes were up.

And then I just got to watch everybody else. And it was like, there's 15,000 people there, but you're not worried about, it's like, of course I wanted them to laugh, but I was really like, oh, is CK laughing, is foul laughing, is Ramana laughing, is Dennis Leary laughing. That's the worst cause there. Right there. Right there. I mean, they're right there.

You see them. They all, yeah, they all just sit on the side of the stage. There wasn't nobody went back to their dressing room. They everybody just sat there as if they were watching in the back of the comedy club. So they heard everyone. They had me one year go up, close it after Tracy Morgan. Oh, yeah. I'm like, are you guys fucking nuts? Yeah. Are you nuts?

Are you crazy? You probably crushed though. Yeah, but it's still. It was, it was, last year I had a, I had a, I had, I had, I had to, I had to crush last year. Last year I had a, I had a fucking, I just, I had something hit. It was just one of those things, but it was,

It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, It is very intimate. Yeah. At the garden, at the fucking garden, it's really, we did it at the other arena before, it was like 6,000 people, that was a little echoey, a little less intimate feeling,

the garden for some reason you're right, it's like you're doing a big set, and all of a sudden you're just having a blast. Yeah, like the largest, I opened for Malaney in Toronto a couple years back, and it was just 1200 seaters. Yeah, and that felt like, remember that feeling like this is great But I like any bigger. I don't know

Yeah, I guess it's just maybe it's 1500 too much 15,000 perfect again 15,000 people laughing is There's a real fucking wave of it in his six thousand. It's right in the middle and it's great. Yeah Yeah, yeah, the last is great. Yeah, last bit I did, which is like my closer, and I felt it coming up, I was like, oh wow, and the pop that it got, which was not as big as the other guys, like CK, I mean, there was killing from the beginning, but for me, I was like, holy shit,

that just, I felt 15,000 people just laughed at that, and you feel the laughs. Like if you, I think you feel it, if it's silent, a lot more, but you also feel the laughs a lot more, so it think you feel it if it's silent a lot more, but you also feel the laughs a lot more. So it was one of those things. I was like, wow, I can't believe I did that. Yeah, you, you nervous going in, but I knew.

Yeah, I, well, because they were telling me that I was gonna, they were fucking with me and they told me I was gonna go last. They did that to me. But then when I got there, they were like, you're gonna go first. And then they fucked me even more. They're like, Steven Wright wants to go first. So he's gonna go first and you'll follow. Yeah, Steven.

And then they're like, actually, Fallen wants to do a song with Larry. And then they'll bring you up. So Steven Wright wants to go first. So he's gonna go first and you'll follow Steven. And then they actually fell in wants to do a song with Larry. And then they'll bring you up. So they kept fuck me until like 30 seconds before, like we're fuck with you're going up first. I was like, oh my god. It's the worst. They fucked with me too. But you get to the point where it's like, you know what?

I don't fuck it. I don't put me up with the, I don't care. Yeah. I don't care. Put me on what people are seating. Yeah. Because you have no choice. Because they did the same show. Yeah. But I actually had to go up after found in that song right last year

Right right after they say so this because here's a here's the problem with that show There's no safe spot on it right when you see a lineup like the oddball festival Yeah, there's a couple safe spots on there sure wherever you go up. You like a Thank you. I'll go right here. Yeah. That comics. There's no safe. We're Romano. Yeah. Fallen. Right. Right. He doesn't do the show. And how many? Yeah. Where is it? Swini, local favorite. Let me crush. Let me Clark and fucking kill. There's no safe spot. So even at the beginning, it's like, I fucking gonna open it after leery goes up and does 20 minutes probably of riffing

Yeah, just riffing on whatever the fuck was shit that was crushing and then sings a song Yeah, and then says this next comic he goes is my first comic you might have seen him in benders He's from New York given a Boston welcome Yeah, it was great, but it was great, but like I'm about one year ago. I think it was last year goes a one year ago's Yeah, this guy now it's it guys were all done. I'm kidding. We got one more. That was a Tracy Morgan. Yeah I'm like, what the fuck I go what the fuck is he doing? Yeah, yeah, but they still I mean it was great They love you. Yeah, they're great. Yeah, and you know was cool for me to see like those guys like the Romano's in CK's and you know like to to see them, like see someone, they were watching,

like CK was watching Ray Ramono murder and like took his notebook out. And I was like, holy shit, like that's like they all like everybody doesn't matter how high of a level you get, you still, if the guy in front of you is killing, you feel like shit, I got a dig deep and really fucking punch it out but everybody is killing his jokes. Yes. It's funny if Ray Ramana, I mean, that's a game next year. Yeah, my mom, she's an ass. Yeah, well, you know what it's good, I love one comment.

I was waiting for someone to do a Ray Ramana and I loved it. It was, my mom, she's an asshole. Yeah, yeah, I love it though when you watch these comics though, which I think we should do more of us watch each other. You know, you're on the road together. And it's like, you know, you're over, he's over there, he's over there. It's like we should be watching each other sets,

helping each other out, be like, oh dude, here's a tag, or here's this, or here's that. You know, that's why I love Stavros. Stavros comes on the road with me. He'll fucking watch my outlet. He's not gonna watch every show, but he'll watch, he'll be like, dude, I know you're working on the bit, that work, you should try this. And I'm, oh, that's fucking great, and I'll watch his set, you know what I mean? And it's just, as comics, we don't fucking, you know, you're so used to just going there

and go up, go down, you know me and Jerry Did that this week we were watching each other sets helping each other out. Yeah, you know, that's a fucking great joke You should try this and you should end it do something like that Yeah, I felt like it was embossed in the happen more like I felt like more of a community and then New York I don't see it happening as much I wonder if it's like a New York or I'll try to make it You see that but it is not a lot, but I think it's more of a It's more like I just want credit on your career Is it really or when you get a sitcom? I want you to hire me. Yeah, where are you living in LA?

Hollywood man the fucking shit really what's the thing? You don't I don't you don't really form allegiance toion system clubs in LA I don't find it's only four of them so I would do the improv a lot But I would mainly do all the independent rooms I Everybody everybody geeks out over the store. I mean, it's fine. I don't think I think it's overrated I just think there's more people that is better comics that go up there now. So you've got I've heard they stay really changed it up Though they got really that fucking lunatic. Yeah, they, I mean, yeah, but they got to, they got to actually get a regular real booker. But then that'll just pave way for another lunate.

Can you know, because it's, it's LA. It's just like, well, what did I know? It's just, it's just, the guy who's booking it now is actually cool, I heard. How was that paving the way for another lunate? Until he becomes a lunate. You all you think, oh, that's it. Yeah, and so you think the power and the fame

and the whole fucking crack here. I think everybody in that, in the guy who books the improv right now. Jamie Flam is his name I'll give you his email. I'll give out his email address on the podcast He's a fucking great dude Who should he should not be booking the improv though because that's not his mindset He's not he's he like you could see him crumbling under like the shitty as to deal with. Because he's too good of a guy. He should be booking his own club or have his own spot. But like, I don't know.

I don't feel it's really, everybody in LA lives in the bubble. Everybody's doing their best 10 because of who might be in the audience. Everybody out there sort of, yeah, but so I like it. It's fine. I don't dislike it. I just like it out here better. You know, it's a more stage I'm out here, period. Yeah. Out there, it's just more of like a, the store has just become that.

It's a store. You go, you know, you're gonna hang out. I got a text message from Serpico. He's watching. Yeah, he said it's good to see Sawyer back on the YKWD. Yeah, you look just like. I don't know. He's one of the guys at a possible that we all work. I got a two He's very funny. It's really you look just like him. It's not it's not a bad thing good blue eyes blue eyes Good for you. I'm sure I do. Do you really really? Yeah, you fucking handsome shoney. That's not why watch Why if I shaved a beard off I get a non an onslaught of already laying Right, yes, yeah, I, if I shaved a beard off, I get a non-an onslaught of already lying. Uh, right. Yes, yeah.

I can't fucking shave it. I found, I don't find, when I lived in LA, it was a long time ago though, but I didn't really see guys sitting around helping each other. I saw guys trying to fucking murder to get the next, to be the next mother fucker. Right. I didn't see guys, I didn't see a lot of notebooks. Were you living in a way? I didn't see a lot of guys hanging out.

I see a lot of people hanging out in the front of the club or in the upstairs to the club and yapping. But I didn't see people, I didn't really see people. I don't see it here that much. Right. I don't know. I'm not around the younger guys. But I think it's cool when you go on the road with somebody

that actually gives a fuck about Santa. cool when you go on the road with somebody that actually gives a fuck about Santa, because when you go on the road by yourself, or when you bring somebody that's just there to do their time, it's like you're not being creative at all. You know, and it's kind of, when you started a writing group, if you guys wanna come. What's a writing group? No, actually, I swear a bunch of guys get together

and blow each other. Yeah, that's the name of the sitcom. The writing group. It's like the dead poetry society. Except we blow each other. And the poetry just says, the dicks are their pencils. The dead poets are the sperm we spit out on the ground. No, well, like that's a bum-backed. No, I shouldn like that's a bomb. No, I should you want it? No,

no, no, you'll learn it. He's going to get it. He's coming. And the Bobby's the king of he lets it sit there. So you fucking really eat turns really feel it. Bobby twist the knife. He's coming. I can feel like a ball came in and start sweating. You start putting it off. We get a nice coffee because the sweat builds up. But it was, I for a while, at the Pires Club, we did have a thing where I would try to, we was just open house, any communities and ones that come by, we would sit around

and work on each other's jokes. We would throw out ideas and tags and stuff. You know what was good? You know I felt like with LA, and I didn't much experience there, but I thought, like, when I did the Montreal that the new faces show a couple of years ago, there was like, you know, six comics from New York and six comics from LA, and I felt the second Montreal show we did was kind of like a bar show.

It was like, you know, you had to work and you had to abandon your set and go in and you have to move. And I feel like the New York comics were a lot better than the LA comics were dying. They stuck in that bar show. Yeah, they were bought, they didn't know how to, with the New York comics, you know, we do the village lantern and we have a lot of resistance. I'm sure LA has that, but I feel like

the degree of resistance in New York is so much higher in the Swedish guy, yellow. You have to find ways to get around it. I think, well, also, you're not doing showcase sets all the fucking time. You're not doing this. Sometimes I feel like it sounds like

somebody's reading their act. Right, right. You know, when you work with them more than once and it's all, it's the same fucking thing. Every fucking time. Right. I'm like, oh boy, there's no fucking magic happening in the moment. You're happening in the moment.

You're not in the moment, you're literally doing a play. You're doing a play that was written. Well, I had a lot of actors who were literally just doing comedy because they think that's the way in. So that's literally what they're doing. I mean, that's a style of comedy though, to just re-do what was written in that set. So, and then when you're here,

you can do that shit, and then when you're here, you know, you can do that shit, some guys are gonna go, fucking, ugh, your hair, you have to go, what? You know, these are gonna go, I said, you stink. How are you fucking, you know, or whatever, or someone's gonna, so you do, you're right. The resistance you get, and also the atmosphere that you're in, and the other comics are there too, man.

I mean, I don't, you know, I don't wanna fucking be doing horse shit in front of a young or old at a club. I think there's a lot of things, and I'm not the guy who's like, oh, New York comedians are better than LA comedians. I think it's, you know, each person is an individual. But it's totally different.

And New York comedians that move to LA, oh, make out, no. That's true. If you look at like, if you look at who's crushing in the cross the board, now I eat out a 10 of them, our New York hands are out. And I go, or yeah, they're, they're not, there's no born and bred LA commute.

There's like a few. Well, here's LA. With LA, you can get, what I've noticed, we're off. You can get away, you can get, you can get away with so much, like there was a commute, I'm not gonna mention his name, I was at the improv and he was fucking,

he was complaining that the guy before him did five minutes over the light. So now he was entitled to do 10 minutes over the light and he was like, I don't give a fuck who's next and I was the guy who was next. He was like, I don't give a fuck who's next and kept going off but he was playing, he was doing comedy on the piano.

So I was like, dude, in New York, somebody would have came and lit your fucking piano on fire and punched you in the stomach and dragged you off States like yours you were doing Eddie Vetter Fucking from Pearl Jam piano bits like your garbage right now someone from LA would be like well Why would I want to perform to place like that? Yeah, where you get punched in the stomach instead of Yeah, it's like cuz it's that's a comedy. Yeah, it's I don't think it's New York comedy Yeah, I mean look what New York comic what what New York comic right now is great. What I mean who's it? What's it? What's it? What's a New York comic like like from New York? I mean everybody else is from somewhere else

Nobody's I was gonna say but they're all from Boston like Boston probably produces the best the most legends Right I mean think about it. I mean yeah, so it's not it's I think it's more Schumer Amy Schumer is the New York I think it's awesome Sch a choice. Schumer, Amy Schumer is the New York Times. I think it's in the New York Times. Schumer is awesome. East Coast type of thing. There is a different vibe. Wait, Harrison, aren't you from here?

I'm from like, I live. Yeah, Harrison, great. Well, you're really good. Oh, nice. Here's a good example. I'll take this happened in, is the best example I can use. Ellie, like I saw in LA, Nick Crowell, who I fucking adore.

Fucking great, he's in New York Times, right? Yeah, Crowell's there. But he was at a show and he was not on the lineup and he's like, I don't want to go on. I'm tired. But they were like, please. Yeah. So he went on. It was like before before going on, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to say. And he gets on stage and he's just sort of like fucking around because he beat and the audience is losing their mind. But it's more of like a, oh, because that's Nick Crowell. And you could tell even he was like,

you're laughing at that. Whereas, and that's, and then I came back here that week and went to Whiplash, which is one of my favorite shows, and CK was on, and I also adore CK, and he was clearly trying out new shit, and he fucking ate it right and like there you go

There's the effort. Yeah eating it eating it here is not a bad thing No bombing bombing here is actually a good people like you took a fucking hot one. Yeah, it's a good thing You grew up. Yeah, right. I love that he chugged up on bombing Well, you know the resident expert. The positive is a bombing because it's also a big part of his life. I can't. Yeah.

Let's defer all these to Deepu and but that's what I'm saying. Let him go. The fact that he knows about bombing. Crawls are genius. Yeah. He's a genius, but like in LA versus, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, but he's in a crawl, you laugh at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's here. It's like, that's Louis CK. I mean, this funny guy's in LA. There. vs. you know I'm saying like, yeah, but he's the crew you laugh at yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like that's Lucy K I mean this funny it's not funny guys in L.A. There's fun L.A. thing girls I have to say that I got to like you fucking blog the boat left the royal guys right It's in all of us. Yes, and that what that means all of us and like last you for last smarter than me last year I remember I got I got I want to an audition an audition. I forgot what I was auditioning for. In Los Angeles, it was probably, you know, dye sale. It was fucking hell.

It was fucking, it was about meatballs. Um, and I went to the audition. And I don't have grab a goal. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, He can eat it when you're dead. It shows my fucking garlic bread. It's guy in the show. This guy flew down and fucking flipped the car. He's an asshole. Fucking guy. My line was nice haircut. He turned green, fuck you. What do you have, Viz?

Fucking scumbag. That was a name of it. But I remember it. It was last November. I remember. And it was, I went to the edition and the LA casting person opens a door. I didn't know who I was. You November, I remember. And it was, I went to the edition and the LA casting person opens the door, didn't know who I was, you know,

was like, Chris test a lappelus. So I was like, okay, I just make, can we please? Please step for now. Can you write that down? Can that be the show name? Chris, step a lappelus. Yes, step on your fucking throat, a lappelus. And um.

That should be your new stage name, step a lappelus. Step a lappeloo. And she, and she, I want to go shake her hand just as a normal thing to do as human being and she goes like this literally like oh I'm sorry we don't shake hand here and I just snapped a little bit I said lady I just I live in New York I said the marathon the New York City marathon just ran right past my house

with 25,000 people and I high-fived about 95% of them and bit my nails right after i was like so i just wash my hands the fact that you don't want to shake my hand you can go fuck yourself and i walked out with that which was the dumbest thing i could have done the absolute dumbest thing but i just snapped and i was like i hate you fucking people who don't treat me like a human being because you didn't know who i was

because if i was tom hangs you would have shaken my hand that's it can i see in the addition of you time i, yeah, listen, if Haramindell was a famous, he wouldn't have fucking, he would shake hands, okay? It is what it is. You're a fucking idiot, dude. I learned my lesson now, and I would never do that again, but in the moment, in the moment, I got upset because I was just like, it's so like bitch to me,

you know, that I flipped over. I do, I apologize, and it was for this car. I'm on, I'm 100% with you. I think everybody's behind you. That happened to me in LA too. Big audition went in, went nervous. I'm nervous, I went to shake the guy's hand. He went, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. And then he'd give me an explanation, which I don't shake hands. I would have took that. He's, and looked away. And then I was fucked from that moment on because you put me on tilt. You put me on tilt.

Now I'm like, what the fuck? So how am I gonna read this line? You know, I'm done. So I just went blah, blah, blah. I literally read it like this. So yeah, and it was going there and there. Yeah, bye. Okay, see ya. And I just walked the fuck out.

Cause I knew I wasn't getting the part because of his attitude towards me. I was going there, I was there, yeah, bye. Okay, see ya. And I just walked the fuck out. Cause I knew I wasn't getting the part because of his attitude towards me. I was some guy coming in. If he's not gonna shake my hand in my brain, how am I gonna get the part? How the fuck are they gonna even consider me? If they don't even wanna touch me, or not even that, hey, I don't shake hands

cause I'm sick, or lie to me, just so myself aesteem can be okay. Let me, don't fucking crush my self-esteem and expect me to go in and do something that I need my self-esteem for. Yeah, when I had a show and development that didn't go, a scripted show, so there was a casting department that we needed to work with.

And my first question to the guy was like, do you shake hands with the people that come in and he said yes and I was like, you're fine, let's take them. Look, I don't mind. Because it's big for me. I don't mind the shake in the hand thing, I get it. Some people scovots it. And look, I've driven.

If you're ever in traffic, you look over the guy next to you, you're like, I'm not, well imagine I shake that guy's hand. He's just in his nose for 20 minutes. Because if you're in the higher, you're passing 100 people people and and here's a thing people get sick all the time I get it but there's a way to do it and putting your hands up like you're disgusting It's gross to go hey, I'm sick. Yeah, I'm sorry I'm sorry. Yeah, I said an imperial after you don't care right then you don't give a shit just do the Freedlander. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh the pound that don't mind the pound that don't mind

Just acknowledge me as a human being pound that pound that don't mind the pound that don't mind just acknowledge me as a human being that's I don't mind the pound the pound maybe that was my fault don't go with an open hand go with the pound and just assume but at least make contact with me and don't treat me like I'm not fucking Italian yeah I'm fucking I tell you what Chris ever makes it we're all fucks why if he's not even famous and he's telling people to go fuck them yeah that's it if he have a fucking hit show? Maybe I said fucking lemons.

I don't, I'm not even fucking, always says we know lemons. You fucking idiot. I come and turn these cameras off. I do, I wear a 36, 32. I'm not putting anything else on. Fuck you. Where's my half a pooey cream?

I need it for my hair from my hair Paul Mitchell's my buddy Oh my god, no, you're gonna be fucking lost it. I know no, no, no, but this just what's Hearing about auditions and Montreal all these things what yeah, yeah Look man, let me tell you something. I want to leave day aud My audition is terrible. I want to wait for three weeks, okay? I'm doing theaters, huge theaters for JFL, big company, love it. I'm headlining the shows. I'm going up at the end, finally, which is what I wanted to do. You know, because you go in, you go up at the middle,

you go on wherever the fuck you go. You know, to be able to go up at the end, just personally, it made me feel good that I could pull it off just that I could do it. And it's not like that. Because I would suck if two a week in there to switch it up. You know, but Kristall is gonna go last. You're gonna go, you know what I mean?

That I could pull, it was great. So, but still I'm watching all the shit going on back at home and I'm like it's moving without me. You know what I mean? This business doesn't give a fuck that I had to go to Canada for three weeks. People are getting things, things are happening and this whole fucking big wall of lava is slowly making its way to the ocean. And I'm not on it right now. I'm on it.

And then I come back and I'm on it. You want to be on lava though. Doesn't that seem like the worst place to be is on lava? Can you hand him that? I know, I'm gonna take it. I know that's not what I'm pretty good at. I'm gonna take it because my analogy stinks. I should actually give it to all of you

because you didn't call me off of it. I'm late now. My lava analogy. I didn't think you were done He's going somewhere Like you know, that's it a fucking Simone giving a fucking lava now Keep it in Canada too long buddy But yeah, dude, it's it's so you say you you don't you know you know get oh this stuff Yeah, you'd love to get it and you'll get it but by the time you'll get it it's gonna be whatever you know what I mean?

It's yeah, and also the the power has been slipped being slowly taken away from them as well like this What we're doing right now case in point yeah podcasting doing you know, I mean wait to get on radio back in there You got to wait for a radio station to like you and then you have to wake up a five in the morning and go in all the time right to actually do now We can just come up to this fucking studio and being in the New York RLA comic I mean your life can change over not I mean overnight. I mean there's a community now It's got a show and development with NBC who nobody even heard of last year and now is that show and development I'm glad glad come on. Oh, who's fucking hilarious and deserves everything he's got? Because that kid has been grinding out and is is fucking funny and one of the guys

got to be a minority, right? He's the minute kid, but no, he stopped. What is that? He's the minute kid. He's just put a ring guy. He's the minute kid. Black, but funny, been grinding out for, for 10 years, hilarious and last year, many people I didn't heard of him. Then he gets to mean the comics, no, of course, we knew him, I respect him. I think it's great. But then new faces he kills in a Montreal and now he's got a development deal and he's got a fucking chance like a real chance where if he was doing comedy in Iowa he wouldn't have had that chance but he's growing out of yours.

I talked to Sherbroko about this too. It's a dangerous chance though. Because if you don't make it as you then you're done. Right. Right. Right. I mean, the chance that could happen, or it might, you know, not happen, you know, it might take a while to get back up on the horse.

I mean, you come out as you, this is my show. Here we are, and then fucking, and it gets canceled. That how many times does that happen to a bunch of people? Of course. That is like boom, boom, boom, boom, and they just prop you the fuck up there with the lights. And then if it works, it works.

If it doesn't, they fucking just dump you. But I think you gotta take the risk of, if you get dumped, rebuild yourself, come back up. But here's the thing, if you don't have the ability to headline, if you don't have the ability to go out and take the reins of it falling apart and then take the reins of that and go on the road and do an hour and get a special and create from that, and you're kind of fucked.

If you're a middleer, and what are you going to go headline, you're not. You're going to go fucking fail. Because you're going to go do a tour. They're going to give you a tour and you're going to suck right right right right, but we've seen that right? We've seen there's a plenty of Comics is suck. I mean I'm not saying this is gonna happen to this guy. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm here's great You always hope that you know I mean the show fucking hits you know The dude is earned it over and we all get passed in it. Oh, yeah

That's why I brought it up. I hope he listens and fucking writes apart for me. I'm available now I'm meatballs. I got some meatballs. Just fucking a You got donuts well vendors is a great show Benders is going to Netflix. Yes, and it's actually going to Canada in Canada, which I think it should it's a hot Show you know what's benders what bend? It's a it's a hockey show is on IFC I see I see Andrew Schultz. Benders, by the way, also a British term for gay person. Yes, it is. Yeah, British term, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Which could be the name of our writing room show. Benders, too. Benders. Benders. Do me the same character you were on benders, except you're sucking this. Yeah.

Give me your fucking balls. Those balls. I'm scoring goals and suck it in Then there's two On AMC Fuck your slap shot right into some guys asshole On the CVC Let me put my Zimboni in your asshole

Yeah, fucking bull Can you ever see Gizziopia? And he's for being in the crease Patrick Patrick, three decks one day Yeah So uh-huh the crease. That's right. That's right. That's right. Three dicks one day. Yeah.

So, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh I'm a fucking gross panda. There it is. There's a towel. A full on towel. I get over Harrison though. He actually tries a lot. Yeah. Yeah, he swings, man. You swing. I take those swings. That's good though, man, because one day you're going to

fucking hit it out of the park. I can't stand the side profile. You get to me on this, that right there. I am off. Dude, here's the thing. See this right here? I've created like a muscle, jowl muscle from chewing. That's like, I got a stone. Every see does a live king and I you're in. I'm fucking done. I got it. It's

done. I got to stop. I'm like, because the hands of this is in you, dude. You're fucking vintage picture. You're one of those. This is the only thing seen to vendors too. The hands of this is the you know, like, like your kids gonna go up back holy shit My dad was fucking like my dad was always just a blob of shit But like some people's dad you like holy shit like looking how fucking handsome and I fucking jacked up my dad was I thought he would say I thought you were like my kid you're gonna grow up and go my dad such a blob of shit Wow and go, my dad's such a blob of shit. That's what I'm saying. Wow, no, no, no, no, say my dad, my dad, no, but it's fucking you got it in you, dude.

Cause some people are just, are just, they're fucking train racks from day one. Yeah. You're not. Yeah. Well, I gotta, I, no, I'm done, dude. I gotta, I gotta fucking get it back. It's just, I thought I could do it. I thought I could do it. I can't do it by myself.

But don't look at it like a man. If I draw an alcohol like anything, I can't do it by myself. I just can't, I gotta fucking get help. It's okay, though. I don't do it by myself. Well don't look at it like a man. It's like drugs and alcohol, like anything. I can't do it by myself. I just can't. I gotta fucking get help. It's okay though. I don't know. But it's, I've always done it.

You know what I mean? I've always just said, that's why it's so funny. Dude, just go to the gym. Is that it? Is that all? Oh, is that all I do? I know what the fuck to do. You, you know, you.

It's just a lifestyle change. You have to, changing your lifestyle is one of the hardest things to do because it's routine. This one is sad when people you've helped like on no sugar no grains. When you've helped those people like two years ago and you look at their Facebook and they're like, yeah, no sugar no grains, 80 pounds down and they look great. And that was supposed, that could,, I was getting skinnier before them. You know what I mean?

Like they went after me and now they're there, and I could have been there. That's the thing with writing, that's the thing with jokes, that's the thing with weight. It's like, when you look eight months down the road, you could have been there. If you just started it, I could have been there. You know what I mean?

And, but don't worry't just make those little changes. We who we mentioned before, look at Jim Norton. Look at how much he's physically changed because his lifestyle changed, but he did it in increments that now has become a total life change. I hope I wouldn't feel okay. If you fuck up and you eat a meatball parmesan hero tonight,

don't kill yourself for it. Just wake up tomorrow and you don't meal. Hey, don't tell me that. Okay. Then you just gave me the fucking, I can can't hear that now you need a meatball pong. Well, because I got fucking cutie but to the Chris telling me don't kill yourself if you and you actually were real detailed. Yeah, yeah, I knew exactly what you like. We go upon here. Oh, man. There's a problem with you, Chris.

You are me. I'm gonna be disgusting. You better be careful, dude. I hope you don't, I hope you don't go on a fucking, a bender's fucking home reading. I have. Oh yeah, well, you think of the news yesterday. You would be fucking a little bit.

Yeah, no, I'm still, I'm not great. I'm not great. I still got, I gotta drop about 30. I'm, I'm a let down. I got the let down body. Like, girls, my girl, when she first went she's like, you're gonna be ripped and then I just like, slamming nipples. And that's just, I'm a let down. I'm a letdown body like girls my girl when she first much is like you're gonna be ripped and then I just like flabbing nipples and that's just I'm a letdown I'm a let's sometimes I've been in two auditions where I've done I think good enough for them to say

Well, can you take your shirt off just so we and it's they've been quickly put it back on how's this I'm so fat right now They want my shirt off right everything I get I don't know why people love fat guys with their shirts off, but even the guy Jerry D, he has a show up in Canada. He's like, dude, I don't get you, I don't get you seeing something in my show. You know, we take a shirt off. Yeah. Immediately, Marin, I took my shirt off.

Will you do it? You don't mind doing that? I'm taking it off on it. Louie, I took it off. I forgot naked on Louie for God's sakes. Put a little towel on. My fucking pay, it was barely hanging out. Yeah, see with me it sucks.

When they ask me to take my shirt off and then they're not, they don't see what they want. I'd rather be me. Yeah, because they know where they're getting. Like it's like, yeah, like you look good with clothes on. Yeah, and then it's bad. But you get naked and you're fucked up too. Yeah, I'm fucked up.

And exactly what you said. Like Harrison, you're fucked up too. Like you get my shirt off? Yeah. Yeah, take it off then. I'll take it, I'm fucked up and exactly what you said Harrison you fucked up to I'm gonna make sure it off. Yeah, it's yeah, take it off then I'll take out of the Sure, I have a god damn gorgeous body. Yeah I'm gonna show it off Good take it off good Take it off This is vendors three right now

Sir Are you sucking it in right now? Yeah, don't suck it and stand up. I have a similar Let me see it stand out and good man. You're tired. You see he's tight. We'll be here a little bit here No over this way a little bit No, we just want to see if you take your friend over. Take your pants off. Take your pants off, dude. Take your pants off, dude. This is the weird part here. Yeah, what's up with that?

You have a like a fucking... My doctor fucked up when I came out. What were they doing? For my mom. It looks like a gorilla belly button. It's like doing it in and out. It's like, I'm ultaniously. Really?

That's weird. I didn't know it was weird until a girl told me it was weird. I thought I had a regular belly button and she's like, you have a weird belly button and then I started to notice it. I pushed in my belly button the other day when all the way to the back. I felt it in the tip of my dick.

Hold on, probably the same nerve endings. Is that what it is? It's supposed to be able to tuck it in in times of the rest. Yeah. It's tough. You know what? You can tuck that head of your dick

into your belly button. You can do that. Like a fucking ostrich? Yeah. You know? First of all, how is my dick and feel like it's my belly button? How is my dick gonna get to my belly button? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a fucking ostrich? Yeah. You know, first of all, how am I thinking about my belly button? I was my dick and I get to my belly button.

Well, like I said, time to derest when you probably, does no derest. Well, no, this situation physically. Yeah, it's not happening. How many pushups can you do? 75. Oh, me? Well, I said it.

Hey, in a row? Yeah. I mean, now, I mean, I used to be able to crank out like 100 in a row. In a row? In a row. No, no, no, no, no, I would say if I I used to be able to crank out like a hundred in a row in a row No, no anymore now. I would say if I'd be lucky to get to 50 Yeah, you get a fight with Christian and have to hit him with a shovel. I think I get it Take it take guys knees No, I'm gonna fun go do it. I know I would never want to do this for you

And as soon as you turn to add fucking crack him right with a shovel. Yeah, just right. Oh, yeah Then I'd be out. Yeah, just be out and then I drag you and I've but then you'd have to go I have to drag you to a field. yeah, you never find the body with Chris I don't want a dad You can find it but you'd be like listen you fucking and I have to tell you don't fucking tell I won't I won't and I have to knock you out again because the thing is with me my lower half is so heavy like I'm so So so I have the strength where if I get I can push but you got it yet Yeah, if I get lower head on out I get lower than somebody, but you got it, yeah, if I get lower, if I get lower than somebody,

I'm low in the mountain, yeah, you're done. You're gonna suck their dick until they pass out? No, I'm just taking miles and fucking strong. Fucking strong. Look at that, those thunder thighs, the same as me. Yeah, I got that. I'm like that, dude, I got quads, I got fucking, I fucking ripped, I'll rip 50 push up right now, dude.

Yeah, you can do it. I bet I guarantee you 50. Not 50, 50 in the line. I'll give you fucking 50 dollars, you do 50 push ups. Dollar push up. You can do it, I'll do 50 push-ups right now. Yeah, you can do it. I bet I guarantee you, not 50. I'll give you fucking $50, you do 50 push-ups. You can do it. I'm talking in a row. You can do it. I'm talking in a row. Bobby's got, yeah, you can.

In a row. Let's go. No, I'm kidding, I'm not kidding. I know I just fucking Canadian confidence. Canadian's a different. No, he's not Canadian. I'm not Canadian. You're all in a row.

You're all in a row. You're all looking at the, okay, go ahead. No, you do it. No, you talk about Toronto. I think I've been from, yeah. I asked you at the beginning. I ain't no listen. Listen, that's not the above host. Let me host it.

Yeah, don't listen. I listen. We're going to take a break real quick. Before we go, we're going to go to the chatroom and see what these people are doing. You listen to live. You got any questions you want to ask in the room? You want to say anything, whatever.

I know you're going to try to be funny funny just try to make it real funny we're reading we're doing two of them a show I think this is the first one next one's coming at the end hanging it maybe in between so go what do you got people Jojo soft asks any specific bits that just don't work on the West Coast? Uh, stuff about. I'm giving it a fuck. I really have raised peace of pick and everything you've heard has the subway. Subway shit.

So the subway stuff doesn't communicate as well. I think it's more, and I know that LA comics would probably be like disagree, but I just, just my opinion, I think that other than geographical bits, bits that work in New York would work in LA, but bits that work in LA won't necessarily work in New York. I think as the audience is a little bit more comedy,

snobbish here, and they'll sniff out that it's an easy premise here more than they would in LA where they would be like, oh, that's okay, we accept that. And LA tends to be more act outy, like I'm a whole, there's a lot more act outs. I haven't been LA in a while, so I really don't know, but I could really soften with an act out here. Like you can go into a two-minute act up is

another word they just do fucking the two by two so yeah you're doing a fucking act out here I don't like that act out get such a tough wrap because I do a lot of act out so I love act out but I think in that place is a punchline you're not using it in service if the punchline is the act out though if you like weave them together, then it's good. Yeah, first of all, I hate the word act out. Exactly. I just don't like act out.

It bugs me over here, but yeah. I think act out is a fine. Well, I think when the worst thing is when act out when it doesn't work, and to be lying on the floor, screaming in an act out, and then you're done, and you have to get up in the quietness of the crowd. It's slow to get up. That's how I open.

I like to open that way. Screaming on the whole. I'll take Sean. I like fucking Sean's. Well, I will say in LA, you can get away more with just sort of verbalizing a popular opinion in place of a joke. Whereas out here people be like,

oh, you don't think black people should be treated that way? Congratulations now, for the comedy please. Right, right, right. Well, that happens in hipster rooms I think here too. Yeah, I think, I think, I was in the show and they were applauding my premises because they knew they were going into direction that they approved of.

But I feel like even I hate fucking applause, man. I mean, I get it, I understand, you know, when you get them to the point with it you're telling me that you approve of the joke that you're just fucking laugh. Right. You know the oh that's that's that's something now I get it I get what the applause break is but to me I just want them to laugh the whole time I'm up there. I like seeing people buckled over, wiping their fucking eyes, taking the glasses off. I like that shit.

When they're applauding, I get it, but there's a fucking, an actual formula to get in a plausible break. You can do this, do this, do this, do this, then do that. Then the troops. And then wait. No, it's true.

There it is. There's a formula to it. You can, I actually didn't want to, I was like, okay, watch this. I'm gonna get an applause break instead of laughs. And I went up, boom, boom, boom. And there's a certain pause you have to take. And there's a certain thing you have.

And then they, just tell them you just had a kid. I do that all the time when audience is aware, I'm like, well, I just had my first kid just a lot of money. Yeah, but this is different from an applause break. It just got made out of here. An applause break is when they get to the point where they laugh. Oh, I mean, like, yeah, that's definitely. And then they can't, you know, it's like this.

Ha, ha, ha, isn't enough. They have to put their hands in. That's a good, a good, that's a good one. I like to laugh in the applause. I get to laugh into the applause as the real applause break. Not the applause break. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Plas break. Fuck off. No, the laugh. Yeah. I laugh a little. It's what is what you you could definitely get that. Yeah. Right. But I still just like laughs. Right. I don't don't tell me you I know I have fucking approved. Yeah. I don't need you to

fucking tell me that. Yeah. You know, and it also feels like because New York comics have more stage time, it's a faster rhythm. They go through, they get through more punch lines faster. Yeah. You know, they just feel a little flabby. I will say a thing a lot of that, that does like when you see it outside of context. So I think a lot of guys out here will do that, that I'm like, just don't do that. What? Is do the first joke and then it doesn't get anything and then just immediately be like,

oh, what what a tight room oh yeah like uh... uh... let's just arrogance on the let go of that yeah i hate when they do that they do it on the road to all you guys here she robbered like because they're there to see me they don't get

your type of yeah they are to see you robber i was a matter of the audience go i'm gonna see Bobby. Who the fuck's robbing? But they're not, it's dummy. They're here to laugh. They're not laughing because you weren't funny, you fuck. Don't blame me. And don't blame them. It's you.

It's also annoying because it means they're not going to learn the lesson of that bomb. Like in their head that joke was fine. It was the audience's fault. So they're never going to fix that or correct that joke. But here's the thing. I was away. And I actually had the thought that I was like i think l.a. is kind of taken over

yes well i really think l.a. clubs and social socially at least i look on the internet and there's a lot of fun crazy shit going on in l.a. but i think there is here but i also i don't think more i don't think more but there's a l., but there's a LA is comedy, the clubs and the comics. You look at the comedy store, they have a fucking blast every night. Oh, yeah. I mean, in three different rooms, right? But and it, I think LA is, I think they're kind of catching up. But don't you feel like we, it's cyclical. It's just, it's all, a lot of people went there right now. And so here's a little more open You're right about that, but I like that about being here because what you got in LA is a bunch of amazing

comedians yeah, and a bunch of Shit comedians and nothing really in between right whereas here you got a spectrum here You got like pretty good good great awesome, right shit. Yeah amazing. You got the spectrumers out there It's like they're either fucking Matt Braunger can aim right silverman yeah you know uh or you'll never hear of right you know oh also guys like you know the younger guys are who are also great but they're great as well right there's a lot more industry out in L.A. yeah well I feel like New York though this is the first time in years I mean you can make a full career out of New York like you can become who you are without ever having to go to LA if you don't want to

No, I did it. I'm doing it. Yeah, I'm making a whole lot of work. Well, I don't think you could do could you not you could probably Could do this 15 years ago. I try to just New York. Yeah, whatever you're gonna go there You're gonna go here. I don't want to go there. I don't want to fucking do it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean thanks for guys like I mean seriously You know, Cerepico and oh yeahle, those guys and a bunch of them, guys that are actually doing stuff here. New York. So now you can stay here. Dude, I am so happy that I get to fucking create here.

So yeah, going LA is fine. I don't, it doesn't bother me anymore, but. You don't have to. No, to fuck, yeah, I love that. I love that. I'll go to the chat and what do we got? E. Lewis says Bobby's handness is hidden deep within like no one writing Ryan's pitching ability.

Why you fucking ruin that was a good one. No, that was gonna make sense. So no Nolan Ryan. No one. No one. No one. No one Ryan's the Chris Helmsworth of fucking pitching. I think it's talking about no one Ryan's pitching ability right now.

Can you say Nolan? Can you with the L? Yeah. I can't say the old no no you know the idea no one ryan you know what i got no one right now and i'm nervous when i'm nervous i can't say the letter what do you think he's saying i'm nervous is to be on the show for at two years also technically india is part of a

yeah that's bullshit that's right right that's a lot that that that's not that that's not the squirrely guys don't have to be on like that i think i think this guy's being sarcastic right Chris fuck that not the squiggly guys i think i think this guy is being sarcastic he's smart as shit deep now no no i'm talking about the guy who wrote the thing

yeah sarcastic doesn't read give me a note that's not what else you had on the topic of uh... Harrison showing his belly Fred grass says i've never seen a man with a wife and kid try to get more men naked on the internet yeah yeah that's how you show benders. The English fight. I know you're out. I got a wife and kid.

You got the wife and kid. I haven't got fucking boxing a long time. If I get to see this twink take a shirt off, stop cock blocking. He really is right. I am a queen He wanted to see Sean work out I just we have a no more chat. Oh, all right. Well fucking say that don't do me I don't want signals. I don't do signals on a radio show because then I'm not smart enough to figure this me I just said you thought it was the bit right?

I don't know if you're doing the bit you fucking T.C. police Yeah, yeah, deep who look at me don't know more fucking hand gestures All right, I did a show where instead of lighting the comics I was totally late, I saw a series of zero minutes left What's that? I was doing a show that It was the outdoor central crystal and they had the The lady instead of lighting the comics she went like this a bunch of times and I was like, oh, I guess I'm doing it Guess I'm doing great, but this was saying like zero minutes left Oh, today's a fucking idiot

Literally whisper in the fog at totaling Is it my ear? It's talking about putting it in your off right over. Yeah's all It's all your cross talking. We don't do that here. Oh second of all I don't need you fucking worse. We love nothing's in my ear. All right How do you want a little fancy deal for it? Oh, shut up. Oldie. You all right? I'm trying to go on a diet Fuck. All right. We're gonna be come back. We're gonna do around a half hour more of the show We're gonna take a quick piss break because I have to pee like a motherfucker and we And we got a couple of reads. So stay tuned, everybody live right now, stay in the box, we got a bunch of people in there, we got some people out there. Stay in the box.

Stay in the box, you're in the box. You're in the box! I will be back in two seconds. Hey, what's up? Robert Kelly here. It's craziness, man. Facing tough tough decisions right? What do you do? You sleep on it my friend. What if that decision is to get rid of your old lumpy mattress that's ruining your life and you get yourself a Casper mattress which is what I did and literally sleep on it. That's what I did.

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It's for tennis. You can play head-to-head. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, great. He's been sharpening that one all day. He's after Sean. Pulls been holding that in. I want you to come back during this summer.

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I don't want to later you know I'm from the dirty South Now you're from Canada from I'm telling everybody you're from you and you don't are cut from New Orleans. That'll make me that'll make me unique because I'm a foreigner now The foreign a lot of New Orleans comeians You, Norman, who else? Sam Morales? No, it's you and you and him and Norman, it's about it No, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it country's got a legit comedy scene. I want to say that too, about LA, there are a ton of amazing up and coming comedians out there,

but they should all move here. Because like out there, it's like, I feel like everybody does become, it's all about a personality to develop. Whereas here people are about like, no, this is the craft. This is the craft I want to do. Well, let me ask you question.

Do you think that people get away with a lot more or shit out there, like comics are less confrontational out there? Well, I don't know how it is now, because again, like I look, everybody's pretty friendly out there. I look at these. But it's fake friendly.

Well, I look at these clubs out there and it seems like they're, to me me so you know like it is getting pretty New Yorkie, I would say like what we do here hanging out at the seller at the stand or you know our car lines or you know Whatever and and and you know we do a lot of cool shit together It seems like there's a lot of something like that stuff going on too. Yeah They hang out the store lock is it stuff going on too. Yeah, there's a lot of things. They hang out at the store a lot because it's not a really good. They're really good. Like young comics go out there.

There are a lot of guys. I follow them on Twitter. But there is a whole thing though. There is a whole world out there outside of the seller. I mean, I love that store. But look at the lineup of the meltdown every week. Okay. And it's a crusher.

Everyone on that show is always great. And sometimes it's like, I've never heard of that person. And they are great. It's crusher. You know, and you got the, you know, the, the, the, the, the Alan Strickland Alan Strickland Williams. He's awesome. Um, uh, Megan Keister.

She's great. That, you know, Dave Ross. You got all these, you've got a cool. Oh, yeah, yeah. You've got a cool. It's just LA dictate. Byron Bauer. So he's like, uh, he's been doing it for years,'ve got a cool. It's just LA dictates firing borrowers who's like he's been doing

it for years, but he's awesome. He's just under does that just LA dictate what the industry is looking for in comedy. I think it dictates what the industry is trying to sell. I'm sorry, man. I'm just, you know, naturally talking to us. So beautiful.

I think LA dictates what the industry is trying to sell, but I don't think it dictates what the public always necessarily wants. Is New York where out here just trying to stand up? And I think we're accountable because if you're kind of doing a horse shit here, people are going to be like, dude, what the fuck is he doing? He stinks or she stinks. And I mean, I think there's certain certain stuff here maybe because it's such smaller clubs

and there's such high talent going on that if you go up with that garbage you it's not gonna fly well you also like here you can also you look at a guy like big jay like he's feign master crowdwork and then he just turned that new tv show right and you do i did it i did not do it not i did not do it do it? I did it. I did not do it, not it. Oh, I did not do it.

But it was like, I did not do it. I did not do it. I'm not invited to, and this is, I never get, it's a new TV show. Well, I never gonna fuck a phone call. I got nothing. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call.

I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call.

I never got a phone call. I never got a phone call. Really? Me! That you should have gotten. Did you know Patrice? I'm part of it. Now did you know Patrice? He does his act now. I mean, it's a... And then you see the people that's in the documentary. Oh, I got it. You're just doing famous people. You're just trying to get... You know, you're just trying to get the most famous mother fuckers.

But there's the... Oh, which is fine. Go ahead, okay. You know, it's fucking creepy, dude. There's this movie called, I think it's called Scouts on or now. It was a terrible movie. It was Pat Nileswald, Rob Regla and Johnny Knoxville and Patrice were in it. What you think would be an amazing fucking film,

but it just wasn't a good movie. But it came out a couple of months after Patrice died. And his opening line in the film, because it's about Scouts, one of them had told a young scout that his dad has died, which was played by Patrice. His opening line in the movie was like, who told my kids I'm dead? I'm not dead.

That's his opening line in the movie. And it was like three months after he died. And I went to a screening. It was like, Jesus, maybe cut that or change it a little bit. But he was, that's the thing. He's the, that movie was terrible, but he was fucking brilliant. Okay, he was fucking even segue

into me not being in the documentary. Well, because that's right, but I don't give a fuck. Good for the movie. I'm not in my fucking, one of my best friends of all time in this business. I'm gonna do his benefit show in January. No, I wasn't even asked. Well, that was my, that's what my second life is.

I thought that was tough too. In that movie, he talked about his best friend, Rich Voss, who he really wanted. I'm kidding. It's fucking, but you know, it's like, you know, it's, some people, some's like you know, it's Some people documentaries Some people are fucking invited to the party and some people have to go make their own fucking party and those parties generally tend to be better Yeah, I look man. I'm telling you it's like you know, all right

You know, I mean I'm glad I'm surrounded with the people that I'm surrounded with because they're the people that make their own party But it's like it's it's fucking hilarious to me. It's like that. Oh, I remember that I remember those guys at the patrice's barbeque Yeah, no, I don't yeah, what they meet him twice Right and then and it's like oh yeah, get him.'s good. That's fuck. All right cool. Fuck you You know, I'm look I'll be honest. I'm friends with his mom, you know what I mean? I love Patrice and you know his memory you can't take that You know you can't take my friendship away. All right, but it's it's kind of weird man You know I look I might I didn't do the benefit last year because I I thought that I did two years in a row and

I was like, Patrice had other friends that, and like the comics come home, let them, let the people do it. I said, hey man, but they, please invite me. Please don't, you know, I didn't even get, you know, hey, you want to come down to the show? Nothing. Which would have been, hey, we, we got a, you know, we want to come, just be backstage with the family or it's weird, man, it's weird when it's weird the people that rewrite history.

You know, people rewrite history, you know, and it's like, all right, all right, I guess, you know, that guy is more friends with him than I was. Right. I guess. All right, cool. All right. You know, it's sad. It hurts, but, you know, it fucking hurts. Because of, you know, being, being, being with Jesus' friend wasn't fucking easy.

Yeah. It wasn't, it was hard. Yeah. It was hard, man. You know, because he wasn't a bullshitter. I wasn't a bullshitter. We had fights and we argued and you know, talked all the time. I mean, jeez, man, I'm invited in my house with this girlfriend once. It's not the one now, you know, the other one who's England. Should have fucking, he should have late. Should have late. My wife cooked all day should have laid

and then this chick had to be like nine feet tall English broad black chick with freckles draw and he goes I got a spot we right back left it with us we don't know her she's like y'all should, lovely. She kept saying, lovely. Love, huh? Me and my wife are like, what the fuck is going on? He comes back late and then fucking, the chicken's all dried out. Well, fucked up.

My wife made a Hollins day sauce. Took her a long time. He put, he has for hot sauce and ketchup. Ha, ha, ha. You know? Chicken's all dried. It's something at the end of that chicken tastes like wood. That what's that fucking song? Hip hop. Hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip hip No, sorry about yeah, sorry to cut you off but they're saying that there's a buzz right now since that thing clicked So there's that set there's a room that's making us

They see right now click the AC off. Please. Okay. Do you want to keep streaming or do you want to? Yeah, keep it streaming. Let's see if it let's see. Let's do it right now There you go, okay, I think that should fix it all right AC off. Thank you guys in the room. Let us know in chat if it works So anyways, you think that should fix it. Alright, AC off. Thank you guys in the room. Let us know in chat if it works. So anyways, you know, that, you know, like I said, that's part of the world just keeps going without you. Right. You know, well, you're away for a couple weeks, a few weeks in Canada. You come back and, you know, you best friends documentary about his life. Yeah. You know, you're doing it, you know, it's, it's not even that. It's just a courtesy of think that they couldn't reach you in Canada? Maybe now do come on son

You know how many Patrice documentary like is it just some random dude or this like the legit one It's it's I don't know what legit means dude. I don't I just know that I'm looking at the lineup of people right and it's like wow Yeah, you know, it's like maybe he'll do many where it's like sort of friends Then pretty good friends and then I don't know it's weird, you know, it's a fucking weird awkward when they Reached a throw all double for the research you they He's dead. I know that I was complaining to them because they get it. I got it. Oh I wanted to yeah, I wanted to that guy. I got hosting my new faces brother, yeah, crazy. That was a terrifying. What an amazing comic though. Yeah, absolutely. So anyways

Yeah, I told you trees. He had his he was in the hospital of Wednesday. Yeah, I was hanging out with him on Sunday Yeah, and it was he was there was the nicest he's ever been to me It was like it was he like he kept me going in comedy for like two years on that space. He was supposed to do my podcast that week. That's why I did Jay Morris. And I was like, what the fuck? He goes, I told you, I do it, dummy. I told you I do it.

And you never called me, and I didn't call him back. I was supposed to call him, I didn't call him back that week. I got caught up with some horse shit. Fuck. Yeah. Sad that I fucking never got to talk to him, you know what I mean? And he, you know, I would listen to that fucking every day.

I only had one interaction with him in my, because when I started, I was like two years in when he passed and he told me, he goes, all he ever said to me was I was hanging out with the olive tree and he goes, he goes, oh, what's your last name's, I was hanging out with the olive tree and and he goes he goes oh What your last names Just East of Fano he was like you never be as funny as Mike. So just quit

And then he walked away, but he was kind of smiling so I knew it was Joe but probably meant it Actually, I wish I had him say something mean because it's fun here, but I did the strip thing There was that got contest so you don't just for late night at the strip and they turned it to whole contest And so do and I were on the same thing of the same round And I didn't pass through even though it seemed like I was going to yeah And then a few weeks went by and I was opening for Paul Mooney So I was the it was the 12 30 show of Caroline so I'd been with Mooney for like two years at this point. And Patrice was the 830.

And, and the tent that he would do the two earlier ones. And then for two nights in a row, he stuck around and watched me do 45 minutes, because Paul would, I would go on for 45 until Paul got there. And then Patrice would like disappear. He saw, he watched me do 45 minutes, watched five minutes of Paul, and then got out of there.

And then the second night, he watched me do the same a full set again. And then came backstage, was like, do the same a full set again and they came back stage. He was like, hey, were you the guy in that strip thing because he was one of the judges? I was like, yeah, and he was like, you fucking better than that shit. He's like, your season, just keep doing what you're doing and you're gonna be great.

And I find out that later, there was a reason I wasn't getting past at this strip that was unrelated to comedy. I don't like this story. And he was about Patrice, but it was really about him. It was about how good I am. Yeah, I really want how talented I am. I was in the way with this fucking everything.

It was like, your season, and then there was other things. But I was really in a bad place, and that really got me, I was like, okay. Here's the story, ready? No, I'm helping with this story. So you don't piss off veteran comedians. Yeah, Patrice saw me when I said, he saw me do 45 minutes, and he was like, dude,

you're really good. You should be at the strip, fuck that place, you're better than it. And it made me feel good, it really me do 45 minutes and he was like, dude, you're really good. You should be at the strip, fuck that place, you're better than it. And it made me feel good. It really, because I was in a bad place. And his compliment really made me feel awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, cut out all the other, and he does five minutes before. I don't need all that shit. Yeah. Two detailed, longer story. I did a, you remember comics? Yeah. Yeah.

I did a, uh, same Patrick's Day show there that he was headlining. Yeah. His last name was O'Neill. Yeah. And I went up right before him. And that club, I missed that fucking club. Yeah. The way it was set up. Yeah, it was.

It was beautiful. But if you remember, when you leave, you go backstage, and there's a hallway, and then you go to the green room, and he was up next, but he he wasn't even standing up he was just kind of sitting on that couch and you could watch the show on the TV if you remember and when I walked and all I know is when I every single other person who'd gone up when they came backstage he fucking took them down based on their set somehow yeah and I was like here we go let me do it it's it's time for my thing and as I came back stage you just gave me like a Good nod. Yeah, and I walked into the bathroom and was like Somehow he let me live. Yeah, and then he went out there and annihilated this one

Do like the best the best crowd worker I've ever seen like the best like it was good when he honed in on someone and was like you're done. He's the guy move why every time I move back to LA because I was I was I stayed at my house was in a showtime competition. He was really sleeping on a mattress. I blew up mattress hat on the floor and I remember I was cooking chicken and he was like, Barbie, you need to get the fuck outta here. And I was like, what? He goes, you need to move the fuck outta LA and go back to New York, you fat motherfucker. And I'm like, why?

He goes, this is the best barbecue chicken I've ever had in my life. He goes, you became a chef, you chubby bitch. You're a good cook. Yeah. So you're not a comic. I haven't seen you in the club. You're a good cook. Yeah. You're not a comic. I haven't seen you in the club once. And I moved two months later.

I was in the fuck out, because it resonated. It was like a point. He could get to the truth. Right to it. No fat right to it and funny and make you actually think about something. Yeah. So we also made me feel something. You know, yeah. So we also made me feel like, you know, you always make

sure feel like a shitty comic after he goes on. You know what I mean? There's no, it was always like, fuck, go up and have a great set and then he'd go up and just be somewhere else in the galaxy. And you can see the crowd was, you know, that crowd just became smarter. So I'm like, oh, I was, I'm fucking awful.

He's making me feel like shit all the time So does listen to that fucking Smell you know whatever it did Sad shit. It's weird man. It's weird the way You know the business fucking works this fucking shit works, you know you get these highs And you're on top of the world you You've had them. You've had them You'll be there someday. You'll have a high But you know you and then all of a sudden it's just gone. It's just ripped. It's the rollercoaster

It's rips fucking right out from underneath you like lava. Yeah I fucking steak that's a good name right there like lava baby All right, let's wrap this fucker up. Let's go to the chat room real quick all right K. Vazzy asks is YKWD doing another Christmas show Yeah, I'm thinking of I'm thinking of doing a live YKWD Yankee swap. Oh Yeah, we're from a Yankee swap and not a secret Santa.. So yeah, we're families. I'm a Yankee swap and not a secret Santa. Yeah, we call it here we do. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah, well, I don't know if it's interesting. Is there is also like a white elephant thing? Where did the? Are you calling me? I'm a Jew. I have no nutmeg about any of these things. No, it's just we do a Yankee swap every year on the show.

That's different than a secret Santa, because you can trade with people. Yeah, we trade it Basically, whoever gets the number one pick gets the best because you can choose whatever you want Yeah, so all the presents are laid out. Oh, yeah, so I I picked the one year I got the dick cannell bottle opener Oh, which everybody wanted every one to take an outfit. Yeah, it's a fucking great gift. Just a nice cock Open up a fuck that was last year too someone gave those the star track ones. Yeah, I want a fucking great gift, just a nice cock. I'll put up a fuck. That was last year too, someone gave those. The Star Trek ones, yeah.

Yeah, I won those. You got those, yeah. I got those for Max. I brought two pounds of coffee and no one wanted it. Yeah, because we can, I mean, we had coffee. Yeah, but no one, I know it's a boring gift. Yeah, well that's like bringing fucking, you know, a roast. I brought a sandwich last year.

Everybody wanted that. Yeah, it was a good sandwich. You give it to Adrian. Oh yeah, I give it to Adrian. That was a fucking good sandwich last year. Everybody wanted that. Yeah, it was a good sandwich. I thought it was a sandwich. You give it to Adrian. Oh yeah, I give it to Adrian. That was a fucking good sandwich. Yeah. I had a sandwich. Oh, it's a, by my place, Italian roast beef,

melted American cheese, tomato, a little mootsadal on it. Oh, you're ruining it right there. The way you said mootsadal just made me whining. Yeah, fuck that mootsadal. So good. Let's go. What do we got in chat on the subject of Yannis hosting last week? Rocks sex says Yannis is lap Yannis laughs at himself more than Seth Rogan does I canceled last minute last week like a piece of garbage.

Why'd you cancel? I had something with my kid, right? My kid was sick. Yeah, that's it. That's it. No, I had to stay do the side-wise. That's not used to where it canceled, shall we? No, I had to do something with the show, with the thing that I'm doing so.

Okay, good. Are you doing another show? Another thing, yeah. Oh, really? Am I involved? You could be, forgets if it goes let's go dude Dude if it goes you're a hundred percent will be and everybody Not everybody let's get just taking me involved. That's how it is yeah, yeah Hey, I want it. I can get I can get coffee. It's your show coming back. What's going with the beer show?

That show was great show was fucking great What was it? Oh, it was great. It was a I was it on planes all the time. What was that on? No, it was not show is fucking great as far as America as great there was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a

was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a

was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a was a a was a was a a was a was a was a was a was a a was a was a was a was a a was a was a was a was a was a a was a was a a a was a was a was a a was a a was a a a a a a a a a a a joke that sums up exactly how working reality TV is. Start a big good. Reality TV. Reality TV.

Yeah. I want three act outs. A reality TV crew. And a producer walk into a bar. Wait, hold. Let me start over. Reset. I need you to stay still and get the lights on over here.

All right. A reality TV producer and a camera crew walk into hold. Hold for sound. We're going to start over. a reality TV producer and a camera crew walk it up. Hold hold for sound. We're going to start over a reality TV producer and hold on the camera crew wasn't ready. Go again, a reality TV producer and a, uh, what talent, fly talent. Go again, reset. There you go. That's why that's what it was because every fucking it's supposed to be reality. And then every day, it's like, all right, let's stop. stop go stop go stop go go sit now perfect We got it framed go and now the drunk guy you were supposed to talk to who is actually interesting is passed out or gone Right, so you're making up this bullshit conversation with a fucking bartender who's not an actor

So he doesn't understand why he's got to keep repeating himself right over and over again in the moment That's awesome. Then you're Jay and I are drinking. And then the problem is these fucking dip shit reality TV producers think they're funny. Right. So they're constantly interrupting you when you're about to say something actually great because you're a comedian and you understand how timing and momentum and pacing work and you're building up

and then they jot and go like, oh my God, but seriously, seriously, he said something about like an iPhone. Maybe you can be like, no, a me phone. And like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? There was one bar in LA where they sat an actual priest and an actual rabbi next to us. Because they thought we would be like,

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar no fucking way. And once we realized that, we just said, no, fuck your joke. We're just had a serious conversation about religion. That's awesome. Yeah, but they cut it all out. Of course. The show was pure goddamn tour. We had Buron, for example.

We had a bunch of great comedians on. We had Burr as a guest. Something I wasn't fucking invited on. No, no, no, no, we did try to get you. What you did. We did. We shot a New York episode for season. What happened? They said that you couldn't be got we had a list of New York guys and you were on the list and they said you were not available

Well, I'm 29 years sober. So there you go. That probably helped. I could have had tea. Yeah We had we had we have coffee and bars. Well, we had burron at at at this bar in LA And he's telling us all these fucking he's telling us this story about how much you used to drink with a young comedian, it's funny, and then the fucking producer interrupts, and they're like, this is great, but it's gotta be more about the bar. So like, the bar's Mahogany.

Like, ask Bill, like, what does he feel about like Mahogany, like, with bars? I'm like, I'm not asking Bill fucking Burr what he thinks about Mahogany. Yeah. I'm gonna continue letting him tell the story It was just pure torture. All right, let me ask question. Was it as torturous as that story you just told The show's not on right?

You wouldn't be fucking that's the thing Yes, you can't even make a funny story out of that that's how I know do yeah Look reality TV is overproduced It's fucking garbage. I gotta go. I listen. We gotta wrap it up Let's go real quick. Let's do this. What do you got? That's it. That's it. No nothing in the chat. Nothing okay great. What do you got Harrison? I you check out Twitter at Harrison comedy my website has in gremium.com. I'm at the seller at Harrison Comedy, my website, HarrisonGreemem.com, I'm at the seller, regularly, headlining the player's theater.

Awesome. Monday, November 30th. That's great. So come check that out. Awesome, man. What do you got, Chris? January 26th, you could see me at the Patrice O'Neill benefit.

Are you ready? Are you ready to do it, Chris? No. I wouldn't have been so fucking mad when you were mad. I didn't know. I didn't even know of it. I'm fucking doing a spot. I don't want know what I'm fucking mad when you're mad. I didn't know of it. I didn't even know of it. I'm fucking doing a spot. You don't even want to love it.

Hey, I don't even want to do it. I just want to invite to the backstitch. Hey, I know you want to be one of his, you motherfuckers. Yeah, my fuck one's taken already. Fuck it, man. And, uh, and, uh, no, I got ChristyComedy.com. That's my website.

My fucking one of my best friends ever. I'm on the fucking outs Fucking guy with a hat. This is new best friend Good for you. Good for you. Fuck. That's good for you Fucking be fucking Christ. I got nothing till 2016. So just go and Christie comedy Twitter Instagram all that what do you got buddy? Doing a bunch of open mics. What the fuck happening? The fucking baller energy sit you in that

Coming season of Ari show on scommage central. It's not happening. Yeah, I got it invited I got a text him back Invited me to do the village underground not the televised version. I got to text him back. He invited me to do the village underground, not the televised version. I get the fucking. The one. Well, you know, what you got to tell all of this Christmas story. Yeah, I've done it before. That's the thing.

So I've seen a lot of guys on his show who are like great comedians. Like I can tell a story. I don't know. I do it. But I'm not a tell story. I believe. I believe you. Thanks.

Well, if you ever get a story telling show on television That probably if anybody gets it can I just get into the club? Yeah, yeah, you're in can I get into the fucking club? What club? Whatever club? It is you got you We're in your club. We got your I know that's the thing. That's why I had to create this You say look how good it is finding it my my own network, because they wouldn't have gone on a fucking network. This is a great party to be. Shaz, you got water? We got water, water, water, and a ray.

I got this chair for my key, by the way. Yeah, so many of you asked me. I built it, it was very good. Great part, I think. I thought I developed a show where I'm here. Go to my website, shawnaulverpatten.com. I'm on Twitter and all that shit. Thanks for coming.

Is your middle name in your domain name. Fuck yeah. Fuckin' on the bottom. That's amazing. Because I don't like the Sean Patton comedy. I don't like the comedy. Like, not Dan. Like, Chris D comedy. I mean, no. I had to, because Chris D stuffin' on dot com was taken on. Hey, no more fucking hand gestures.

Okay. Just talk into the microphone I gave you. Yeah, what are you doing this? I trying to protect the the image of the show like oh I was trying to signal like oh the chat's a little light right now No, don't say that You're a fucking idiot. I mean you don't know what is it fucking black or white with you? Just say hey, I'm brown Just say fucking oh no, there's no more questions. Oh no, that's all I'm brown Just say fucking oh no, there's no more questions. Oh, no, that's all I'm saying You you're the guy you used to wear the light when you talk about a girl's pussy You you would say steamy rather than hot use the wrong words

What do you got Chris besides beautiful size beautiful hair. Just Chris Coppo. At Chris Coppo on Twitter at christmobile.com. Can you have a little more self-esteem? I really, I was like, oh, I'll do my fucking.com. Then it was like, oh, the Twitter. And I was like, oh, right in the middle. Chris Coppo. Deepo, what do you got?

You can just check out my website, twist.tv slash r2dpu all the links to all my different social media's there. Hard to deepo social media's there. Hard to DPU. I love that. I am great. I like that. I like it.

Thank you, Bobby. What a nice guy. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. I do. I want to say happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners, all the fans. All you guys who download the show every week on audio and watch it on.

We got a nice big fan base on YouTube now, which is really growing every week on audio and the watch it on we got a nice big fan base on YouTube now which is really growing every week and that's from you guys if please hit the subscribe button and the like button there's one guy that hits the dislike button every week you're just going to a certain place in hell because there's no way you listen to the show and are actually going I don't like this you're just a content here is one guy from the UK though that does write nice things every week. So thank you Yeah, thank you. What's it? It'd be better if you had his name and a den and a denigel. Awesome I want to thank all your fans. I want you guys have a safe holiday enjoy your food

And enjoy your family and thank you for listening to the podcast go to my website Chris is gonna read some of my dates right now. But go rotterkill.com. My acting real is up there. You wanna see my chops. Maybe you got a show that you can invite me to or benefit. Or maybe a documentary about one of your close friends

that I could be in. And if you could actually go there and I'm gonna have a mailing this soon. So I want you to join that. Chris, what do I got? December 3rd, fourth, fifth at McGubby's Joe Kouse in Timonium, Timonium, Maryland.

Timonium, Maryland. December 10th, 1112, side-sputters in Tampa. Boom, I love that. Go get your tickets. And then beginning January, January 8th, 9th, you're at the bananas and Hasbrookites. And I love it.

Awesome. Boom. So thank you for listening to the show. You guys are the best fans of the Cuts. I love it. Awesome. Boom. So thank you for listening to the show. You guys are the best fans of the world. I'm glad to be back. We'll be back next Tuesday with a live show. Maybe day, maybe night.

Who knows? I'll talk to you guys later. Take care. Bye-bye. y han ido a la web de la podcast. Gracias por escuchar. Ahora, dígate a tu chile de trabajo. Checkoutryacast.com para todos los podcasts de la internet. Y todos los precios y todos los precios. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan.

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