Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Lion’s Share | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #55

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss slavery’s history, if they like older women, Mr. Ronald Merchandise, the producers going wild in Ritard River, gambling with Michael Che, Shane Gillis, and Nate Marshall, if Opie and Anthony would do a reunion at Skankfest, Bobby and his relationship with his dad, calling Colin Quinn, Nick Di Paolo, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. SPONSORS BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ PrizePicks Get $50 in lineups after placing your first $5 lineup https://www.prizepicks.com/ Ro Sparks Get $15 off your first order on recurring plan https://www.ro.co/regz/ ULTRA Get 15% off with code "REGZ" for focus pouches https://www.takeultra.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you turn this off? I don't want air blowing on me ever in January. We should put Joe there and him there. No, but I don't like that configuration. I look looking Dan right in the face and point cord. I can't do a back pass. I can't give you down here in the paint. I got a slam a jammer at home.

It really is. If you watch this podcast, Lou going, you know, and he just goes to do you go, fill her up. As Digital Network. What's up, everybody? We're back. It's the regs.

Joe List eating pizza, a.k.a. The Truth, Dan, Soda, corporate Dan, and Louis J. Gomez, The Rattlesnake. And I'm Robert Kelly, the dude.

We're back. What's up, guys? Happy New Year. Happy everything. The smooth, dude. The smooth. I'm black, and I don't know my dad.

Oh, that's fun. I'm black. I don't know my dad. I didn't get the song. I'm back. You're not black. Oh, oh. You know it.

You're not black. You can yourself black? Back in the New York groove. That was when I used to go on the road with Joe. You can yourself black? I'm Afro Latino. I'm Afro Latino. Some exotic horse shit.

Afro Latino. Well, no, the slaves were also taken to many Spanish countries. In fact, as you know, Brazil held on a slavery 30 years after America abolish. Somebody watching YouTube. No, no. It was a conversation between me and James because James's like, you know, the history we have slavery. I was like, James, hold on.

Let me teach you a little bit about slavery. It wasn't that bad. That's a wild take for your son. He goes to school and he goes, wasn't that bad. Wasn't that bad for my people? Well, I mean, you know, look, I get it.

People like to shit on America and I'm like, that's what people were fucking doing back then. They had slaves. Everyone had slaves. Europe had slaves. South America had more slaves than anybody else.

It was more slaves brought to South America than anywhere else in the world. Slavery right now in Africa. There is. Yeah. You're not wrong about that. The Indians had slaves. The Indians took,

The Indian took slaves all the time, and they sold them. Yeah. Yeah. Human beings were commodities, like Buffalo Hyde back in the day. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There's, I think I heard from where that there's more slavery now than there ever was. Like, currently?

No. That's crazy. There's a lot of... Look that up. Dan, I don't know where you heard that. Do you hear, like, two homeless people talking about to a house outside of the seven... I sit in Washington Square Park. You might be right, because there's more people than there was back there.

Like, eight billion people. Yeah, there's so many more people. It's not the gas digital in. employees. I'll bet you. Paco's not even his real name. That's a slave name. He goes, no, my name's Timothy. It's Paco. Your name is Paco. I watched Django Unchained with James, and they got us into an entire... What did you say? I saw that. God. You saw what? I saw you post that you're watching

Diego. It's a great movie. It is a great movie, but it's a little violent. I mean, they beat each other to death. Yeah, it's real, though. I like the way you die, boy. It was such a good movie. I think that's Tarantino's best. Late 18th century, so I just heard some bullshit. Yeah, you're crazy, dude. You heard some crazy shit. I also didn't come in here saying it was fact.

I was like, I heard some crazy shit. I didn't go. Dan, it's all right. You can be wrong about things sometimes. You don't have to feel bad about it. Let it go. It's okay. We're going to make fun of you for being a retort for a second.

That's okay. Dan, let it go, but be nice about it. Affirming what he said, though? What? Isn't this confirming that Dan's right? Let me see. Well, the exact numbers are debated the peak for transit. people today.

Wait what? Yeah. If somebody just read it so we don't all have to not read it. Estimates suggest modern day slavery, human trafficking involves more people today around 27 to 40 million. Human trafficking isn't slaves. That's slavery. That's hookers. That's not hookers.

Do you think they're there because they're horny? I think that they like it when I'm with them sometimes. I get romantic. This is how you get repeat customers. Yeah, dude. There is it. Lewis goes, are you a slave? And she goes, no, baby.

Please come back. Or I was still going to cut off my feet. Mr. please come back. I don't see my family in so long, please. You know what is a Spanish place that does massage? Do you? Hach, cha, ch, ch, is that what you're looking for? Are you asking?

I would love that. I love that. It's always a middle-aged Asian woman with weird tities. Not that I go. Yeah. How did you get interactive again, dude? What's up, Bella? He's been.

You heard me. Bobby's been on the path for a while. He had to figure out his style last year during the the great hoodie pandemic of 20, 23, 2020, the hoodie is my cocoon

fatness. And he comes out as a butterfly with his louder. Do you know that when a caterpillar goes into a cocoon,

it doesn't turn into a butterfly, it liquefifies. Oh, really? It like liquefies and then all of the, I don't know why and it's going to be facts.

What drug are you on? Why are you a fucking encyclopedia botanica? I'm not pushing back on anything. I was kind of wrong. You're right. You're right.

But I was kind of. I wasn't either. They liquefify. And then the parts fucking bubble up and they turn into a butterfly. Are you a substitute teacher during the week? Yes. Why are you learning all these facts?

It was fun to watch Lewis try to come up with something funny. It just gave up. I don't want this. Is that with this podcast? I went yes. That checks wing. You didn't go all the way around. You didn't go all the way around.

You know what I didn't get a strength? You know what's weird that you say that I'm... Good eye, Gomez. Good eye. You said that I'm sexy. Yeah. But I realized something really shocking this weekend. I was in Sarasota.

And I was hanging out with Mike Coulter and his friend. I was in Saratelamush. You fuel them with pizza. You get jokes. And we went to this place called the Gator Club. It's like, you know, typical Florida live music, some cover band. But fucking chicks everywhere, you know, all. But hot smoking young girls.

And then a lot of middle age, my age girls. Back on the market. But, yeah, dude, a lot of... Refurbished. Middle age. We're middle aged. No. You're elderly.

We literally are middle age. Yeah, yeah. We're all in our middle age. This podcast made it to we're all middle age. If I live to 105, I'm middle aged. So I, all of older women, let's say. Lady women. And they were all coming up to me.

Like, oh, my God. Like, I haven't had this in a long time, but women came up to me. And they were like, you're so cute. You're so... Oh, my God, too bad. And they were just coming up in my face and, like, rubbing up of me. Okay, Bobby. But they were on Bobby's hot.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. But they were all, they were all. They were all. They were all. Dude, two of them started fighting over me. They're tearing each other's hair. And I go, dead, day, day. There's enough of me for everyone, dude.

Then seven ninjas come in. And I go, I'm the only one that can save this entire place. All right. So there was only three. them. But they were all together in the same group. Three girls and you were hot. But no, they weren't girls. All the young hot girls, don't even look at me.

I don't even get a second look. But these were like 56 to 58 year old women that are my age. And they still want it. But they like have the hump on the back of their neck from reading at night too much or working. You know what I mean? They're wearing like hats from like, you know, gangs of New York. Were there any of them I mean, look it, dude, at this point, yeah, but no, like, it's like there's too much to get over.

You know, they're, like, dressed in five different fashions. It's crazy. It's like, like, old women. Nobody's banging an old woman. This is crazy. Like, we had to pretend that we're attracted to old fucking women. It's psychotic. I watched grumpy old men this weekend, and I could probably pull one out to Sophia Loren and that.

No, I'm into hot. She's got giant titties in her chest skin. I like older women when they dress age appropriate. When you're dressing like you're 20 I can't I can't do it When you have fishnets on I like a bunch of bullshit I like a toddler

Oh That's my fantasy Are you in a little sailor suit? A toddler that dresses like a teen Whoa I just like toddlers Damn get them My cans are a little fucked up

No I don't want Some of those women that were Floating with Bobby But it's like I'm like I'll never Did they pinch your cheeks Like old lady? They would try to be sexy

But it's like They weren't dressed age appropriate, which bug me. If you have like a nice dress on or jeans and a sweater and you look like you're 50-something, I think that's hot. I like women like that. Like Michelle Pfeiffer always dresses her age. Sure. Smoking hot. But when you're dressing

like you're 20, it bugs me. I can't, I can't get into it at all. Sarasota, Florida tells me how many of them had fake tits, big fake tits. Just one of them. Okay. But she had a couple. Just had one fake tits. She had that. Other ones on loan?

Well, the other one fell out. Yeah. No, I just It's a week, like, I'll never get a hot young 20-year-old. You can. The thing is, the girl that you're going to get into, so I actually saw this video, it was actually a brilliant point. They were like, oh, it's fucked up. If you like a 22-year-old girl, it's like, no, no, no,

we're supposed to like beautiful young women. Yeah. They're fucked up for, like, in us. Yeah. They're the ones who have daddy issues who are attracted to old fucking men with a fucking great year. If a 20-year-old comes up to me and, like, she's mentally ill. Yeah. Like, I'm a fetish.

She's been touch. Yeah, she's been fatish still. I thought you're out of it But it was funny And you guys should have laughed I can't stop staring at Bob Look at you Here's why he did the

He did a little action to it I was looking at the bomb dana I was reaching for it Bobby's holding on to it like it's fucking medicine You're going to actually come up at my show With to sign a bomb dana That's fun Yeah they bought one

Where's the money? This one has this one ever been washed No Where's the bomb dana money Pocker's the bomb dana money Where's all the money It's not me. You guys act like it's me.

We signed with a company that sells our merch. You guys are just as involved with getting money. Louis goes in another room and puts a fake mustache on. Hello, I'm T-shirt company. Hello, I'm Mr. Merch. Mr. Ronald merchandise. And I sell you stuff. I love that it's his.

There are no profits. It's his company when it's fucking getting praised. But we were like, what's up of the mind? I have nothing to do with it. I don't know anything about it. No, I help the guy start this thing. I want an owner of the company. He also burned a bridge with a guy that made t-shirts for us for a year.

He spelled the regs wrong. I'm sorry. We're not giving him money. Love you, Big Kev. Love you, Big Kev. Big Kev's the best. Big Kev, he was so good to you. He was so good to you.

He listened to the show and just make a shirt. Still listens. Yeah, still listen. Big Kev, shout out. You get 10% off Skank Fest this year. Whoa. Give him a ticket. 10%.

Give me a ticket. I have another $10,000. Big Kev, I got you. I'll get you a ticket. You don't get them back to him, though. I send them, guys. Joe's way to invest in the documentary. They hit me up. They're like, dude, they're not responding to me.

Yeah. Who is your fucking people, dude? I can't get into it on air. That's crazy, dude. Money, tens of thousands of dollars just coming your way and you're ignoring it. I invested in my lawyer was like. You're saying all the things I've been saying. Let's talk about this off air.

Yes. Yes. Okay. Do you want me to, I can handle it. If you give me more than one point on this movie, I'll handle getting the money in. We've got to get that in writing. That's not in writing. I got an email from somebody, but I don't know who that person is.

That's my lawyer. Is that who I'm supposed to send it to? Joe's lawyer is the guy who made concern. This is not a on-air conversation. Joe's lawyer is the guy with all the question marks all over his suit. Remember him at the late night that would show up on the late-night commercials and be like, here's all you ain't money. I'm reping Joe West.

We're in it now. Don't worry. It's all. Joe is an ambulance chaser as a lawyer. Joe, I got to put it down. There's a little girl that got bit, my people, but I can pick these things back up in eight to nine weeks. Well, depending on how long this trial goes.

Well, part of the issue was the conversation came out on December 21st. Joe, I want to finish this conversation, but I just watched the guy go through a plate glass window. I'm going to have to put the phone down and call you right back. Sir! You hear him pitching him to the guy. We had all the holidays happen. Evidently, I've heard this. Lawyers as a group.

They don't celebrate Christmas. They're not like, they're not like us. They're not like agents and managers. They take their time on shit. Yeah, they take a long time. They take a long time. They take a long time. I never do that.

Well, they have to read a lot of shit and hype a lot of shit. They have to, because they have to make sure everything's right. Managers are just bullshit. They just go. I think lawyers are just bullshit, too. I think that they're not incorrect. They're the old. Them and agents that do the contracts?

The amount of money that I paid for lawyers to literally just... I would just have a lawyer if I could have anybody. Managers. Managers are all vibes. You know what the manager does? He calls your lawyer. Yeah. And he goes, I'll get him.

I'll get him right now. Yeah. Managers go, the vibes are off. This is a manager. Why am I giving 10% my money? They go, because of the vibes. I got us a dinner reservation. The vibe.

Managers do show up at all your gigs that you don't want them at. You go, why are you here? Yeah. I sold half the room. And they go, it's going to be great. I love my manager. I love my old manager. I love my new manager.

I love managers. I love Earl Weaver. Hey, he was a good man. Terry Francona. Who's Earl Weaver? Shout out Tara Francona, won you guys, though, for... Why don't you want to talk about all of the tens of thousands of dollars being ignored for the documentary on the podcast?

Because it's business. It's business, baby. Yeah, man. Binn't it. Business. And bin it. Lewis only has one speed. Been it.

Bind me. I'm not a business, man. I'm a business, man. Leave a podcast forever. Where is it? It's not a bomb. I was in a joke. I was singing a lyric that I love.

I don't sing. Shit. Nope. Songs do not count as bombs. Fine. A lawyer. Lawyer. Call Joe's lawyer.

He goes, Joe, baby, haven't heard you from you in a while. These people are calling me about a shank fest? What are you selling meat? Anyways, just found out some of the waters polluted in New Jersey. Going to see if I can fish around. Calling in a few weeks. Got a hot lead from my buddy at the Tyson Chicken Factory that these people are getting sick. I was standing there by the stairs of this club this weekend and like a goggle of fucking gaggle of hot chicks came in.

A goggle. This is so funny. No, this girl... You guys, dude, I'm not a mama dog. So there I am, counting my money, dude. She came up and handed me her ID. Oh, no. You do, can I tell you, you do look like the guy...

You look like the head bouncer. I know, but I was like, you have a little tricks. You have the one walkie-talkie, two other guys that walkie-talkies on the team, and that's it? Yeah. In my head, she was going to hear me her number. She's like, here, I was like, I'm not... I just go upstairs. I don't...

Bobby, what is this new thing you're trying to do? You're not a hot guy. People are not trying to have sex with you. This is like... He's trying to get us. Joe got in your head, he really hyped you up there. This is why he's stupid. Because I'm literally saying...

This is why... I'm saying I'm not a hot guy. I don't get hot chicks. I get old... I got old chicks with humphs. But it does feel like you want us to tell you. Last week, it was a whole story about him saving life. He's fishing for a compliment where he goes, I can't believe this dress.

Stop fishing. You are hot. He said, you know, he said it, but I'm... The reality of his, I'm not. It's over for me. No, you're right. That's what I'm saying. This is why he's stupid.

The best you've looked in 20 years. You're so much. You don't even know. This is why he's stupid. But Bobby, see, you got it. And I refused to look at him. I just pointed him. But you have to go.

He's stupid. Bobby, listen, on the regular PGA, you're not making the cut, but on the senior PGA. Oh, yeah. You're hot. We found your thing. I don't want to be this.

I can't do this because it smells different. But we realize the secret to your success. It smells like musty. Yeah. Yeah. In order for you to be hot, you got to cover your face with a beard, your eyes with glasses, your ears with cans, your head with a hat.

And you look pretty good. My tits down. You're dressed like Dice. You have Dice's costume on right now. So I'm in Florida. You're so lucky he saved you with that. You're going to save anything. He saved you.

And if we want a back trial, the thing you said about the radios? You didn't talk about Waki Tockees? You heard of. He set him up. Yeah, because I was going to go. I don't take my vitamins. My hips are creaking. If you leave this podcast, he's done.

Can I be honest? I'm a little off today because I went to the doctor. and I have a fucking weird thing. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. I don't know the technology. They call dog jug. You know what that is? Dog jug? Yeah. Feel this right here. Dog jog? Nope. I watch you. No. I know that drug. I'm 55. I've done it. I know. Stupid. I was going to catch you. I love doing that.

Hey, that's crazy. Oh, so I'm up with my... I have a problem with... I actually like having it done to me. I have a problem with my... I'm on the camera. Oh. Oh! Oh! I just had hung out with a magician. What's his name, Danny? God, he really got you all.

Read. David Blaine. He's Nussbaum. What does he have your tongue? 20 years old. He's amazing. Unbelievable. Read Nussbaum.

He showed me some shit. Yeah, he's friends with Danny. Blue Danny out of the water. Blue Danny? Yeah, it was cool. I don't know why Danny's so against magic. He's so like... Danny, do you hate magic?

I don't like it doing it anymore. I like watching it when someone's good. Reed's good, though, right? Stop. Yes. Yeah. It's fucking unreal. How old is he?

20. Jesus. Why are you hanging out with children? I don't know. He asked, and he's cute. I think you look fucking awesome. All right, dude. Seriously.

It's bugging me. Stop. Why? Because you, I'm going to say something about you right now. That's good. Okay. I'm going to get back to you. I'm going to get something.

I'm going to say something. You got a book right here. I do got a book. You have a brand new book called Forks and Knives. If you lift the book, It reveals his coffee. Knives and Spoons. Oh, that's Starbucks.

Why knives and spoons, by the way? I really don't know what. We're telling the audience, you fuck, head. Stupid. They all know. Oh, no, they don't. The people that don't know. You don't know why it's called knives and spoons?

No. You have zero idea why it's called knives and spoons. You've hung out with them. You've podcasted with them for 15 years. We all know. But Joe doesn't know. Yeah, you do, dude. You had no forks growing up.

Oh, God, dude. Listen, come on. Just think of his upbringing. Well, your father got stabbed. and your mother smoked crack. No. Heroin. Well, crack and spoon.

Spoon is crack. Spoon is a pipe. Spoon is nothing to do. Fucking narque. He's a narque. He's a narque. He's got a wire on. I bet you could smoke crack out of a spoon.

With your mouth. I don't even know. I like that. I only have to get it. I didn't even get it. This guy, I'm hanging with Carlton this weekend. And he gets off.

He goes, Joe called me fat. And what did you say? No, that was like 10 years ago. Five years ago. Seriously. Five years. on a podcast. Bobby. Literally a half decade ago. I know you called them fat and ugly,

which is worst. Bob, not funny. It's a five-year story. It was an old thing you was saying. I don't remember. I don't remember. We're telling you now. Stop. You had it. You talk about it here. Can you stop? Can you go with something instead of just stopping it in its tracks? You have that ability? You don't have yes. Okay, good.

Not a coffee, right? Let's try it again. Let's try it again. No, I just did. I just went with it. There we go. Now we're done it. I could use another fucking coffee. Shut up. This is cold. Paca. Paco, you went too early. Mine's cold, too. That's too warm. That's funny.

Don't point it out. That's fucking funny. Can I tell you something? We're getting to the point where it does feel like he's antagonizing. It's a little weird. That's a great joke. I just gave you a compliment. Yeah, like he went to therapy and Alan Gabe, hey, can you help Bobby out today?

But he keeps doing it where he's like, you are hot. Yeah. Joe. Oh, go back to that. Put that up again. What are you crazy? Read that again. What?

Pull it back up. Pull it back up. Don't do that. It's going to take 20 minutes. Yes. A spoon. is a common household item that can be adapted for smoking crack cocaine. How?

Crack rock is often placed in the spoon and heated from underneath with a lighter to produce a vapor that can be inhaled. Oh, my God. Fine, Joe. I guess you're right. That goes back to the... Ban was right about slaves and you're right about spoons. Everyone's enslaved in there. Smoking rock. Smith that shit. I did. I pretty quickly did.

Thank you. And hurtfully. Yeah. Well, we know his mother was on heroin. Well, I forgot. I don't know. Crack. How do you forget somebody's mind?

One of the worst things that could happen. She committed suicide with heroin, Joe. As you will see in chapter 25 of knives and stones. I won't see. Entitled, I forgive you. That is great. Are there photos in there? No.

No pictures? No pictures. For your audience, that's a thing of thing. Well, there's no words either. You have to draw on your own story about me. That's funny. It's a blank book. A frog went to a park.

Draw a frog. What is the park? Follow the numbers. If you draw it, you'll find a new code for Skankfest tickets. Did James read this? He's listened to a lot of it. It's on audiobook. No, just him telling him in the car.

Before we start. I don't like the way Paco fucking interrupts the show. We've fucking started 20 minutes ago. Can you just get on the microphone and say? None of this was recorded. What an idiot. We haven't started. I had to fight to keep the water in my mouth.

That is the best diss anyone outside the four of us has ever had on us. You guys want coffee before you started this show? The show's been going. This is the show. Why is the coffee cold, by the way? Why is your coffee cold? Because they got it three hours ago.

I got mine at dunks on the way here. I could just use a medium coffee, a little bit of cream, one pump, sugar. for vanilla. I'll just take a tall Emperor's Cloud hot. Can we just go 20, a half hour into every show, just go get new coffees? This guy. How about that? Rains. Just go back. So we don't have to stop the show and have him

come and scare the shit. Keep going to. He's a fucking savior, a hero. You want a bite of that? I don't. I'm back on the fucking shit. I'm done. I'm done. I went to fuck. He opened the box and I was like, Ben, St. Did you buy that? Did you buy that last night and leave it on your stove? Why are you going to Benz and Joe's is right there?

Joe's running behind. Because Karen was running behind behind, so I'm right high. You're running by Karen, I bet. You fucking, you're sick fuck. No, I would just pass her. I'm like way faster than her. I would have been running behind her. I would just go around. Cheeks. With my thinking noise.

I love you guys. I wish this was coming out tomorrow. I want to talk sports. I know. How about all that's sports? I mean, I don't watch sports. Did you give up on UFC? Yeah. Really? Is it just, you had a good point. After you said something about UFC, it really showed. They're not good at making fighter superstars anymore.

No, yeah. I don't know who any of these guys are. Blaka Blasca Boo. Yeah. Fucking. Yeah, and then Patty Pimlet. Is he fat? Is he skinny?

Who knows? I do like there's one, uh, there's a great meme that's out now. It's like, uh, it'll show like a, like a, like a gay kid. It'll be like a little kid being like, I'm so fabulous. Oh, it's my favorite thing. Then it'll be like, send him to Doug. Send him to Dougast three days. Max shows it to me every day.

Hi. I'm the pro. It's like a little boy doing Taylor Swift and Swiss fan, sending him Doug his stunt through three years. Those edits that people hit make me laugh. So fucking hard. You just no longer like UFC? Nah.

Why? How do you go from one of the biggest fans having a podcast? One of the first MMA podcast. I mean, Dana White came to Skangfest. Yeah, I was one of the first people that was like really into it, like in comedy, a handful of people. And it felt like it was my thing. Sure.

And then it got away from it. When I was into it, it was like Andre Arlovsky and Chuck Ladell and fucking George St. Pierre. When Anderson Silva first came in, I mean, I remember Anderson Silva coming in, and I had seen him in Japan. We used to steal tapes from, we used to steal Pride DVDs from the Virgin Megastore. And somebody had a great job back in the day. Virgin Megasor, false advertising.

But we used to switch the labels, because they were like 30, 40 bucks for a Pride DVD, and I switched like a $3 label. And me and Dave Smith used to watch all the Pride DVDs and all these like Bushido Japan events. And we knew it. It was legit. Go ahead. Yeah. I'm sorry, go ahead.

What does that mean? I was, because you've been scamming. I'm just a joke about the bandana and the money, and it would have anything to do with it. But, wow. I wanted to see how angry Lewis. No, no, I'm not angry. What's that?

What's that supposed to be? Don't get mad at it. It's just a joke about your business being phony. I got to sit here and pretend Bobby's hot and a hero. He's going to trash my fucking business. He's a hot hero. I'm kidding. He's a hot hero.

He's like a chicken cutlet. He's a hot hero. You fucking, hey. You fucking did something. The retard bed is cracking. The retard river's going nuts. Retard river. It's wild than retard river.

You're jumping in retard river. The fish is jumping out of the water in retard river. They're biting today, boys. Joe, how many followers did you add? He's getting the coffee. Fuck. You sent Joe out to get the coffee? Also, that explains a lot because you did that diss, and that's why Paco went nuts.

Pacco's back, they're going. I know. Paco has to. What's his name that opened up for you this weekend? Come on, what's the guy's name? He opens for you sometimes, too. Oh, my God, I'm blanking. Why am I blank?

No, no, you have to edit this because I feel bad that I'm forgetting his. Why am I, I'm just blank? I don't forget his name. I know his name. This is all, this is all. You guys thought you were having a moment? Kby. Birk.

Kby. Oh, look at this. Fuck, why. And this is now off again. We're not editing this. We're not editing this. all the time. Come on. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh.

Tristan. Are you talking about Tristan? I know you're talking about. From Michigan. Oh, my God. Aaron Putnam. Aaron Putnam. I love Aaron. Oh, yeah. He's the man. I love Aaron. I sure do. I love Aaron too. because you forgot. You projected that onto me. I was blanketed. You know when you bring somebody up on stage? You've been friends

for years. If you're like it's past the mic or your hosting and you forget their name, has that ever happened to you? It's one of the fears of Los Angeles. When I'm at the comedy store, they do the past the mic thing and I go, you look at him right but I'm talking about people I know people I've watched on TV for years I'm like oh fuck I've only when I was hosting it happened maybe twice

and it was never somebody didn't know it was somebody that I've known for years and I looked him right in the face and I was like I completely get that though you just blank I just had a blank Aaron fucking Aaron fucking fucking he had an idea he was like dude he was like because he's always fucking he's another prospector Aaron Putnam

he's like he's like why don't we do a regs producer show where it's like Paco, Danny, and Joe, and they can come out and I'll fucking put them up on these shows. Damn, you forgot his name, and he's down in the river sifting with you. He's down in there sifting with you. Ooh, there's going down here. He goes, oh, I've never worked with someone like you before, Louis. And you go, we're best friends. We're all going to go to the top.

And then you get on the show and you go, ah, his name. No, Aaron's hilarious. He killed all weekend and fucking, yeah, that was a lie. What were you going to say? You said you're going to. He wants to do a show with the producers, and he wants to know if we'd sign off on the producers, like, using, like, the regs.

Oh, like, kill Tony. Yeah, like, the killers of Kill Tony. The killers of the regs. Killer of the fucking... The killer of the bits. We've got to hire a couple killers to work for us. There's a chance Paco's murdered somebody in his native line. Well, Paco did great at Skagfest.

Danny did greatest gangfest. Joe kills. They're all funny. They can do a show together? Can it be called the regs, and then in parentheses in small letters, producers. How about this? The irregulars. Oh. And then they come out and they see their faces and they get it.

Only if we sign them to a Barry Gordy like deal. Oh, we're taking a cut of the money. I'm talking about, I'm talking about lion chair. Lion chair. How's that not the name of your company? Lion chair. Lionsharing. Lewis says, you've gotten to business with a

guy called Lion's share. You knew it was going to fuck on that. We signed a deal with fine print ink. What does that mean? Terms and Conditions, Inc. I don't know what is that. Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm fine with it. Yeah, I don't know. You wouldn't let them use the name.

That feels weird. Why, let him use the name. Let him make some money. We don't pay them. But no one's going to go to that show. What's funny is he currently has me on hold for a week in in April, and he hasn't confirmed it yet. Now I'm realizing it's probably because he's talking to you about using the name the regs.

Well, how is you going to use it? It's not the... We're taking 20%. You guys can use the name the regs producers. We get 20%. This would suck. This is what would suck.

If that... Lewis gets 17... If that takes off... If that just takes off and they're selling out theaters... Oh, dude, that happened to me when everybody that was on Guy Code, we were like,

what a cool show, then they did Girl Code, and it was like the biggest thing in the world. Yeah. I did an episode of Guy Coed, just one episode. They paid me literally $200 in cash in an envelope. That's not very money. For the pilot, yeah. Oh, the pilot?

Yeah, they wanted nothing to do with me until Julian McCullough bailed, and then I came in as a replacement. Yeah, $200 in cash in. I thought it was great on it. I was like, they just didn't fucking want me. I asked for money for that VHA one thing because I found a Chirot was getting $500 a pop.

Oh, yeah. I go, hey, can I just get what he's getting? Oh, best week ever? Yeah, best week ever, I was like, can I get just what he's getting? Can I just get that? I've done 10 of these things. And they were like, we'll call you right back. And then the next week when I was supposed to do my episode,

it was my makeup guy that did my makeup the time before. And he killed it. He was like, listen. He was on every week after that. That's so funny. Yeah. That guy was Mario Cantone. Oh.

Hey. Girl Code was the way to make the money, though. That was it. Shultz, Pete Davidson, who else was on it? Who was the guys that were on Girl Code? I don't know. Schultz was a big,

that was like his big first person. No. He was on Guy Co. He was the King of Guy. Carlis. No, Carly was on Girl Code, obviously, but I'm talking about the guys. It was guys that blow up of Girl Code.

The Girl Code cast was, yeah, I don't think there were, oh, yeah, you're right, Schultz and DeStefano. Yeah, they were both. Jordan Carlos, just-eye Charlemagne. Melanie Iglesias follows me on Instagram, and, I mean, God damn it, is she still hot? Holy fuck.

Is that your new bride? Oh, I wish. Are you going to take her as your bride? No, I have a fucking girlfriend that's not Melanie Iglesias. But your girlfriend's hot, right? Cut that, and send it to her? I'm getting my girlfriend's way cooler and hotter than Melanie Iglesias. Oh, that's that word.

Send it to your girlfriend. Cut that, send it to Melanie Iglesis. We can try hitting on her in the year when it doesn't go well. No, it's going to go well. This is the one. Yeah, but that shit blew up and everyone was like, that's what's going to happen with the regs producers. It just blows up.

Yeah. That'd be great, though. We just money while we sleep. Yeah. These fucking... Passive income is where it's at, dude. I completely agree. I love passive.

I want to become, like, just a loner. Just live out in the woods in a giant house. I can't wait. A recluse. Be a giant head. Yeah. All right, guys, let's talk about one of our brand new sponsors, which is Ro Sparks.

R.O. Sparks, if you're looking for a better night in the bedroom, Ro Sparks is here to help. two and one prescription treatments for better, longer erections. You want a hard cock? I know you do. No homo. Roe Sparks has you covered. They dissolve under your tongue and work in 15 minutes on average.

So you're not going to be average when you take some Roe Sparks. You can be ready whenever the moment arises, huh? And everyone can have a great time in bed. I've taken Roe Sparks. I'll tell you, I take it secret. I never let my chick know that I'm taking it. But she's like, God damn it. Like, how turned on are you by me?

I'm not even attracted to her. I just take Roe Sparks, makes my dick rock hard. And then I can fucking throw it down with Roe Sparks. The ugliest of pigs. She goes, you just can't get enough. And you go, I have to have my bathroom time before. I have to have my bathroom time right before. So here's how you do it.

If prescribed, which I think you will be, new sexual health patients get $15 off your first order of sparks on a recurring plan. And it happens all online, by the way. They link up with a doctor online. They give you the prescription right there and then. You don't have to go to the doctor and get a prescription. All you're going to do is connect with the provider at ro.com. regs to find out if prescription row sparks are right for you.

That's RO.com. C.O.combs with a Z for $15 off your first order. Compounded drugs are permitted to be prescribed under federal law but are not FDA approved and do not undergo FDA safety effectiveness or manufacturing review. For safety information, go to RO.com slash safety info. Listen, if you need some mental clarity, some focus. I do. If you're trying to get off the nicotine, if you try to get off the caffeine, but you need

something that's powerful with nutrient. Notro-topics and vitamins? No. Neutropics? Netropics is... Honestly, why wouldn't you spell it N-E-U? Tropics. Well, it's N-O-O.

It's gonna be more phonetic. New tropics, I know. No one's ever that phonetic. Yeah. Ultra pouches give you the same kick as a nicotine pouch without the side effects. Yeah, it really is great. Dude, it's pop them right to your mouth.

They're gonna have super... Dude, I take neutropics, specifically because I have ADHD, and it really genuinely helps. I'm way more clear-headed. You guys notice how much sharper I am on, podcast. It's because I've been popping these fucking Ultra Pouches. No, they sent us some, and I didn't really believe in it. I don't really believe in all this

mumble, jumble, jumble hearsay stuff. I had one of these. I've never felt better in my life. I'm working on this script. I was just focused and felt good, and there's no crap, no nicotine, no caffeine. You don't want it. I just feel like a million bucks. Tell how, Dan. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code regs with Z, because we're bad boys, to get 15% off at take ultra.com. That's take ultra.com for 15% off with code regs with a Z.

After your purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them the regs sent you. Let's go back to the show. Do you have passive income now? Do you? You do, right? Yeah, well. You have a lot of passive income? What do you own properties?

Well, I, um, no, I own one property. Technical, the bank owns one property. What passive income do you have? Oh, you have sound exchange. Sound exchange is passive income. Oh, you know what? That is true. Sound exchange is passive income.

And I do get, um, from, I get kickbacks from billions. I'm sure. Me and, uh, we got that big check from the comedy central thing. Yeah, because it's an outrageous check. Which by the way, immediately, all three of us probably had the same reaction when you go, check into this. Oh, I called my lawyer immediately. Yeah. My lawyer was too much money.

My lawyer called me. He was the one I called. Joe's lawyer was like, I'll call you back, Joe, I'm following you. He goes, I'm following your car crash. Joe, you're not going to believe this. I got the CEO of. Comedy Central, I'm following him. We're hot on his trail.

Yeah, it was too much, but we said that for the... Just lawyer. Do you know that Black family that Bobby saved? There might be a case. Well, the book, the coffee. You know what? That was all right. Lewis saved you. Lewis saved you. No, he didn't. And that's okay.

We talked about that in front of Voss. He was so panicky. About what? Because he was like, you got money? Oh, the Comedy Central? Who called you from Comedy Central? Apparently he got nothing. They didn't get money. Really?

Nothing. But did he have an album? It was before a certain time. In between, we got it because Statue of Limitation. Something was there. Someone filed a major court case against Comedy Central. And we benefit.

I think it was Joe Zimmerman, wasn't it? I don't know. Shouldn't we take him out to dinner or something? Shouldn't we take it? We should. We should party for this guy? I think it was Joe Zimmerman. That's who I heard about it.

Someone just probably a new tiny house. Yeah. Someone filed a case against Comedy Central that took years to get fucking through the courts. And then the judgment was that Comedy Central ripped off a lot of people that they filmed the specials of. Yeah. So they had to give them more money.

They were like holding back money. That's great. Yeah. And it's Viacom. So they're a billion dollar company. TV was fucking so shady back in there because everyone was just so desperate to get on it. So you would take whatever fucking deal. You would like, it was truly fucking crazy.

I walked away from my Comedy Central half hour with, and I was broke at the time, with $4,000. Oh, it was like $15. Geez, they were paying, right? They paid $50,000. Let's see, Mike Kaplan, Joseph Superman, Anthony DeVito, and Sean Donnelly. None of these guys are working. They're all my buddies.

But I think Zimmerman was the one that was in there, did the research and all that stuff. I heard about it from years ago. Oh, this is from Sirius XM when they did Comedy Central Radio. Yeah. Oh, shit. I got paid, and I got paid twice. My payments for, what's it called,

Sound Exchange started being a lot higher a couple of years ago. They just zipped up and just sort of going and I don't know if it's because it started playing them more on the radio or Spotify or whatever. Yeah, you probably just get more airplayed.

Maybe. That's what I think the thing was. It was Comedy Central Records weren't paying a percentage that they were supposed to be paying. And they were playing it on Sirius XM. Yeah, so it was over like 10 years, 11 years.

So my thing, it would have been like a couple grand a quarter, but it was saved up for 10 years. So it was crazy. Crazy. Good job, guys. Way to litigate and not use Joe's lawyer. Let's send them like a Starbucks card or something.

He goes, Joe, what happened? I think there's money from Comedy Central. You sure you weren't burnt by Starbucks? No, I'm fine. Yeah. Let's get back from Vegas. Ask me if I want money. Did you win money?

Yeah. What'd you play? What's your game? Poker and some roulette. I did some. Oh, you did the full weekend at Wise Guys. I did Wise Guys. It was awesome.

Have you been to Wise Guys, Vegas? No. The new one and the old one. Fucking awesome. The brand new one? The brand new one couldn't sell a fucking ticket. The old one sold out shows. Really?

The brand new one was an empty fucking room. It was like the second weekend they were open. Oh, okay. It's what's the toughest place to sell. Yeah, people got to know, they don't know it's there. They're not going. It was, I love Wise guys, dude. Salt Lake City fucking love that club.

One of my favorite clubs. Love that town. Man. Awesome. This club has the best sound I've ever heard in a group club. Dude, I'm going to tell you right now. What was this out? I'm trying to do your. Try to do your.

Hey. Thank you. Elephant. Wise guys, Salt Lake City. has the best sound system in comedy so that does not surprise. Yeah, and the hotel's brand new. I thought he missed it.

Fuck it. It was fucking old. Where is it, though? We're talking too much inside business. Where is it? I don't want to be the topics are. But it's a lot of like comedy sets of the records, fucking good sound of the club. Let's talk about gambling.

Gambling was the topic. Let's stick on that. We're pitching a comedy club. That's awesome. They don't care. Inside baseball. Who's day? I'm not like the MCM's day.

Why don't I care about the fans that pay our bills? I care about. They pay your bills. I pay one bill with this podcast. Not this podcast. It's the entire thing. Listen, dude, fuck them. He's talking about a club.

But they might want to hear about the fucking club. Yeah, you're promoting a club he's at. And how come you can do your whole sentence? It's about wise guys. And then when it's my sentence, well, you're going to change the topic. Well, let's say, we're going to get a little. Let's hope about the sound at Wise guys. I mean, it's phenomenal.

I honestly, can I tell you right now, it's the monitor on stage that really gets back. Why are the club's not put monitors on stage? I don't know. but it really gets my stick hard. Anyways, the club was fucking awesome. The weekend was great. Let's move on.

No, no, no, no. Keep, stick with it. I played poker, and it was fucking great. My buddy Derek come. You guys know Derek. Shout out, Derek. He's never. Derek lives.

Oh, Seattle. The guy, yeah. The guy. You're a square friend. Huh? He's not a comic. No, he's a regular guy. He's hilarious.

Yeah. Anyways, the point is... I'm not saying he's a bad person. I love Derek. I'm just saying he's not a stand-up. He's just a regular dude. Yeah, he's all I'm fucking saying. So I'm like, come play poker.

And he's like, I've never played poker in a poker room. And people get very intimidated by casino poker rooms. Sure, it is very intimidating. Well, I guess so. So I'm like, come on, just sit out. And they were starting a new table. This never happens. You never get to sit next to your buddy at a poker table at Caesar's Palace.

So I'm like, come on, let's sit. So he sits next to me. And I go, this guy, you know, he doesn't know what he's doing. And then we're having fun. Which does make you look like you're sharking them. I know. When you go and you go, this guy's never played poker. He's an Asian guy in sunglasses.

Wasn't that a scene in rounders? Kim Jong-un. He's his sunglasses. Well, oh, is this good? Now the buffet's still around the corner. Oh, four of a kind. Is that a winning hand?

Joe, our four kings good. He has scotch tape. Well, if he was playing the part, he nailed it because we're playing and it's going fine. He's just, first of all, he keeps saying push instead of check. He's like, push. And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm going to fucking.

Are the dealers getting mad at him? No, the dealers laughing. Asian woman and then finally it came to him after like 20 minutes and she's like, do you want to push? That was fun. And then finally he gets a big hand. There's three players. It's him, the guy next to us who's been nice, and then this other guy over there, Derek,

for whatever reason, he just fucking retarded, brain fart. They do the turn. It has to go all the river. It has to come all the way around. He just flops his guts and goes straight. And everyone still has to bet. I went so far and the worst is the guy next

to him caught a flush and the new guy hits a straight which is everything you want and put you hit your flush this guy hits his straight so excited and so anything this guy would have bet Derek would have called him like an asshole and he just threw his guy's down and goes

hey oh no so the guy's still he was very nice about it so you technically are allowed to do that they didn't like they didn't yeah I mean you can flip your cards anytime you want you're just a jackass and you ruin the game that guy's not going to bet again

you. I mean, you're allowed to lick the cards and put him on your forehead. You're a fucking morgue. So then I just was like, oh God, and the guy was nice about it, but it's one of those things that your whole body, you just feel it. I'm telling you when people don't

know how to gamble with you in public, there is an anxiety. When I went to Vegas for the Super Bowl, I was with Shane's dad and Michael Chee, and we were playing blackjack, just the three of us at a table. It was very fun. I can't play Blackjack because I can't count

quick. Fast enough? No, I get too nervous and I go, I don't know. Is it 17? 717? That's why Blackjack is stressful. Coker's not stressful. Blackjack's easy. There's simple rules. You just follow. You have fun. Everyone's at the same table. You got a chick. You can teach her how to play. So we're having fun. The three of us. And it's fun watching Shane's dad and Che become best friends.

Keeps calling him Michael. It keeps going, I like you, Michael. That's his name. Yeah. And it was just funny because it was like, it felt weird just to go like, yeah, his name is Michael. Call him Che, I guess. But we're playing. And then Shane shows up with like a couple friends. Nate Marshall, his buddy, sits down at the final seat of the blackjack thing. And the dealer's showing a five. And we're like, hey, let him bust. Let him bust. And then it goes to Nate Marshall and he goes, hit me. No. And then they flip a face card on him. And then the dealer got a 21. And I was like, don't do that. I had like $200 on the hand. I was like, don't do that. And Nate Marshall,

looked at me like, whoa, this fucking guy. He's like, hey man, he's like, this is Shane's money. I don't care. But then it happened so many times that I went, Nate, I will never get, I had to get up and leave. It ruined it. That's stressful. It's stressful. Well, if you're playing, you're trying to win money, it's stressful.

If you're playing and going, I'm going to lose $500 at the table, it's just fine. Also, I was sitting with Che who just kept putting, pulling hundreds out of a sash on his chest. I went to a casino with Shane. None of me go to a casino. We did shows in Connecticut at like one of the casinos that the big theater in Mohegan's son or whatever the one was

and afterwards they gave him like a private room for us to all play blackjack in just our people and like and I just was like Shane's like here's $3,000 I was like this I took it but I was like this fucking sucks I'm not having a man give me money to gamble with that's like P. Diddy

buying clothes for 50? Yeah Lewis goes I'm not gambling I would take that money fine Kevin Hart walked in ONA one day he goes Bobby man what the fuck happened you look like shit and he goes here's a thousand dollars to as a joke i left the studio i just took the money that's what uh colm turrell did for his bachelor party on legion of skanks he's like uh he's like i'm going to text burke crier that i'm texting all my famous friends for money for my party but i'm

only texting bird that's fun the bert sent him a thousand dollars that's awesome but he column ended up sending it back later on because it came through after the show was over so it was like it's not even a bit now i'm just taking his money i keep requesting a hundred from paco every week Really? Yeah, it keeps you Didn't you just send money to that guy that hates you? Oh yeah, I did.

You sent money to a guy that hate you? Yeah, it was his birthday. He put a thing, it was Jake Flores. He puts a thing on social media where he's like, hey, it's my birthday this week. I'm out of money. I can't afford anything. Can you guys send him only $5?

So I said him a hundred bucks and then every post it. I was like, guys, let's show them that the skanks can be good. And a bunch of people started setting your money. He hasn't thanked me. But most people were like, fuck that fucking guy. I hope he dies.

I've never seen that guy or met that guy. I've never encountered that. Yeah, he, whatever. I don't harbor, I don't like harbor ill will. Like, if he just came right now, I was like, dude, I'm fucking, whatever, who cares? Like, what are we doing? We're all comics. I'm like, cool, it's fucking chill. Come to podcast. Yeah.

I already tried to get him to be vice president. Yeah, I know. Very funny. Which would have been hilarious. It would have been such a good bit. Yeah. That's what made me mad. I just don't understand why you, like, you're so dead set on, like, hating comedians that are, like, successful. And you're like, you're bartending and worrying about where, like, your bills are paid. It's like, you're doing it wrong, dude. Just do it a little differently. Just maybe take some advice.

If I may defend this man who I don't know I'd ever met, he believes in his heart that you and your two best buddies are Nazis. So I can see why he might not want to We are. We are. This is how I found out. We've talked about it. It would be

weird to be like, all right, I'll be the vice president of the Nazis. I don't think he really believes that. I think that. Got an arm-banded medium? Scoot over. No, no. He doesn't believe for Nazis at all. You know, just that's a thing to say. And, you know, that's my part.

It's like, if you really believe that, I'd like, oh, I kind of get it. I get why you would hate me if you really thought I was a Nazi. But he knows we're not Nazis. He just is using it as an opportunity to fuck. I love it. I love a Skagfest when you had to go through the security. They had to give the code. The code was core values. And I was like,

this black lady has no idea what the core values are of this. You miss. Do you want to know what the core values are? Tell me, sugar. And then you go, cut to her leaving with her fucking take it off her lanyard. I ain't doing that shit. How those cookies. Speaking of Skank Fest, you guys announced it's back in New Orleans.

That's going to be great. What a year. I'm good. That was the funnest place. That was my favorite venue, not even close. Yeah, no. My favorite venue, and they're going to have a drug, a pot tent this time. They're going to have a pot tent and a cigar tent, so no pot in the cigar tent.

Well, no, I'll smoke pot wherever the fuck I want at Skang Fest. What is ticking? What is that? Is that your foot? I shake my legs a lot. Oh. I shake my legs too. I'm going to...

I'm going to... I don't want to... I don't want to have... Luke to take the whole thing. He's going to the table to me and Bobby doing the Elvis dance. What's one for the morning? Two for the show.

If you watch Lewis, he does blues the way your shoes. Almost exactly from the Ed Sullivan show. Same exact move. Oh, shit. Yeah, no, there'll be a pot tent this year, for sure. Yeah. I don't mind people smoke a pot in the tent,

like Lewis, Jay, whatever. But there was, like, 12 dudes. just smoking it up. They were smoking like fucking blunts right now. It was just like, dude. It wasn't me going to where the water was, lighting up my joint for a couple puffs and coming the back. You can smoke, I don't give a fuck.

Those dudes fucking handed joints and they go, yeah. So do you on a joint? You're like, oh, god, you guys are getting after it. Let's do it twice a year. It's so fun. It is fun.

We thought about it. We thought about bringing it to Mexico and doing a resort takeover. It's just so expensive. It would be the, we would seem like we're trying to like fucking rip off the fans. but it's just so expensive to produce that the ticket cost,

you'd have to package everything. So you'd have to package the fucking all-inclusive resort, the hotels. The ticket price would look very expensive, and we're taking very little of it. So the perception of it is... Are you ever going to do a cruise? Skanks Cruz. Not a Skank Fest cruise, but I would do...

I would do... I want to do a podcast Away. So the regs, Legion of Skanks, fucking... I don't go on boats, bro. Story Wars. We'll get a bunch of podcasts. There's so funny here who has a name for, A podcast Away.

I think it's a free. I think I want to call it the U. U.S. us riff. And we're going to go out there. I think I got it. Podcast away is great. Podcast away is a great game.

So a podcast and stand-up cruise, you get like some music. We're so funny because we smash each other, but right at the end of everything, we're like, that is a great thing. Honestly, though, very good.

So we talked about doing it with Lear of Scanks. You're a beluga whale that saved your chick, but no, that was honorable. Your song choice was gay as fuck? You're a real hero. We talked about doing it with RU Garbage and Legion of Skanks,

like a co-production. that would be very fun. Yeah, yeah, but we'll do with a bunch of podcasters. Why not? And just we all, it's not like, it's not a money-making thing. It's just for fun to go out and, I mean, I'll make money. But for us as a podcast, it'd be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, here at Lion's sharing.

Don't worry, we'll be landing in the black. Boiler plate contract incorporated. You're behind, you're behind Joe's lawyer. I knew they got him. Go list roast. Let's get to Apollo. Yeah. Oh, you got to get DePaulo.

You got to get Quinn. Who's your ideal panel? Colin Quinn. Got to be on it. Will Colin come? He will come for that. He'll come for a day. That's a good way to get Quinn to go to the festival.

Maybe. He did the tuck fry reunion in Brooklyn. It was only Brooklyn. But the tough crime reunion was one of the biggest moments in the history of the festival. I want to get the opening and Anthony reunion. There's got to be a path. Why is Opie such a pussy such a pussy? You would have to.

Whoa. You would have to. Are you friends with Opie still? I was, but then we had a thing on Twitter last year. He was kind of a dick to all the first. Well, he smashed me. It was an earthquake, and he's like, did Bobby just do jumping jacks? That's funny.

Yeah, but I already lost the weight, so it didn't even make sense. I was like, you know. That's you being sensitive. No, I didn't say anything. I didn't get sense. I thought it was funny, but I said something back. I go, you still got it. And by, I don't mean a radio show.

That's funny. And he went fucking ballast. He got really upset. Yeah, he was like, dude, we'll compare bank accounts and fucking real estate any day. And I was like, all right, dude. I was just joking back. I had a good one, too. Lewis, you could be the.

Jesse Jackson to bring them to them. You could do it. I don't, Opie's so against it. I know Anthony would do it. I could convince Jim to do it. I think Jim and Opie are in a better place. Jim would be, no, Jim would not do it. Jim would be the hardest to get doing. But even if Jim didn't want to do, just Opie and Anthony

on stage, no cameras, the same way we would do the naked roast. We won't even tape it. Just do a fucking reunion where you guys fucking come to Skankfest. You bring in Bobby, Voss. We'll fucking dig up the Trees's body. God damn. Go, go, Can you just get a blackout of dupatry? Just bail Bobo out of whatever Homey's in right now?

Oh my God, dude, how fun would that be? It would be a moment for Skank Fest. Sam Roberts? That's my biggest, like my biggest thing if I could do it. Like an opening and Anthony of a reunion surprise. Oh my God. EROC would be sick. Iraq would be great.

That would be awesome. You got to do that. Yeah. As a fan of that show, look, guys. It doesn't look good. Guys, listen to me. Harass Opie.

I don't know why they just don't put it behind them, though. They're like Pink Floyd. It's not happening. Yeah, but they're both doing. They both got stuff. They got their houses. They got their fam. Move the fuck on and just be friends again.

Who gives a shit? The bank accounts are fine. Just fucking come and give the people what they want. Greatest radio show underneath Howard Stern. I think a better show than Howard Stern. Made me laugh harder than Howard Stern. Yeah, I wasn't even an opening-anthony guy growing up. I was a Howard Stern guy growing up.

But Opie and Anthony, like, objectively speaking, is a funnier show. They understood how to make it funny. Howard Stern's narcissism sort of like led to some funny moments with him being mean to retard to people. But that's kind of what it was. He was a great interview, a better interviewer than anybody in the world. Sure. But Opie and Anthony, this shit exists because of what Opie and Anthony did.

The way podcasts are today, there wouldn't be this sort of sub-genre. I learned about your whole crew, because O'Brien to say, because he started to get famous people on. Opie and Anthony just went with the funniest comics around. It was Jim bringing in all of you. And Opie and Anthony saying, fuck it, let's go. And then

embracing all of us. I mean, dude, I still listen to Voss owning Berbiglia on Opie and Anthony, Orwin Burr and Patrice? Burn, Barbabilia, do you see that one? Burr and Burbiglia was great. You guys, say Burrne Barbiglia five times says. Burrbigley, where do you go?

I know what you're doing. I know what you're selling out these theaters, but you're getting me to fucking pack the audience because you know fucking doing it. And then that's like on air. Yeah. It's great. It was the greatest radio.

Shout out to YouTube because they have them all up there and I'll put them on. The best, in my opinion, one of the best moments, one of my most inspirational moments in like podcasting slash radio is the first time Patrice was on Opin Anthony and Voss brought him in.

You ever hear that? No. I'm going to go back and find it. It's incredible. Like Voss is like, you gotta see this guy and everyone's been, it's open anything. He'll be like, yeah, we hear you're great Patrice. Voss keeps on and he's like, he's the funniest. And they go, is he funnier than you? And Voss is like, well, and Patrice is like, God damn, why I'm funnier than rich fucking Voss? He just lays into him the first one minute of, he brought him in and he just starts smashing him. The confidence that Patrice had in that moment, like, you know what I'm

saying? We've all been there. You're kind of like a deer in headlights the first time you get one of those opportunities. And, yeah, well, I mean, yeah, to stand up and go. It was, like, in terms of, like, that moment is, like, as a fan. Can we pull this? Pull it up. Pull it up. It's, and the flip side of that, one of the craziest moments I ever saw on the show

was when Chris Rock came on Opie and Anthony and told Patrice why his career sucked. That sucked. Yeah. But it was one of the most interesting. One of the most interesting. Oh, he's hard to work with. Yeah. One of the most interesting pieces of radio.

My first time on Opie and Anthony, it was at XM when it wasn't serious. them and I went and I felt disgusting after I left they were doing the Wiffle Ball Bat Challenge I remember that where they would stick a Wiffle Ball bat up a girl's vagina and see how far they could get it but there was other marks on it and the Wiffle Ball bat was different colors yeah that was you that was like your trigger

throw up thing yeah but they hung on the wall like it was a Pete Rose bat that's very funny it was it was I was just like watching this like how the fuck are they doing this Yeah. It was just, it was a great little, and everyone had very different personalities. Like, Anthony was, you know, Anthony. Whip them out Wednesday? Fucking funny, dude.

Remember whip them out Wednesday? Yeah, those stickers are everywhere. They had the stickers and the chicks would show their tits everywhere. When chicks were cool. Yeah. It would show their tits? Yeah, ladies, come on. I think girls showing their tits are back.

At Skag Fest. Yeah, but they're all fucking disgusting. I barely saw any tits at Skagit. I saw a lot of tits. Oh, I don't have kids. They were mainly guys, though. Oh, there you go. Oh, they have a whole fucking thing up on YouTube.

I mean, yeah. Is Opie making that money? No, and they'd probably get it stricken if they found out the name of the channel. So don't say it's right there as archivio. Oh, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? Because they're going to pull it. Opie's the kind of guy that.

Dan, no, no he's not. First of all, this, I guess, stop. There's no ads on a video. You don't care. I want to listen to him. Can I say something? Can I say something? Listen.

Listen. I don't want it being taken from me, Bobby. This has been up multiple times. People keep on putting it up. I know. This is our channel that's Lachivo. And he doesn't even have it monetized.

This guy's the fucking G because he's not even trying to make money. By the way, I don't mind if you take our clips and you fucking want to put them out and you want to share them, it's fine. But don't, you don't deserve the money for them.

People put full episodes of the podcast out trying to like, fuck it. And then they monetize it. Just it'll take care of that? Yeah, of course. Oh. Yeah. They don't take care of us.

Right boys? Hey, yeah. Kim. I'm just kidding. I don't really know the narrative, but I'm just jumping in. So can we hit play or we fucking just Is this video or is just audio?

Well, there's got chapters over there. What's the moment that he comes in? What did you say? It's right in the beginning. They had video on the show, stupid. Not the first time Patrice was on. The camera was invented after. Patrice is a really funny guy.

I met Patrice a few times there at Caroline. I can't. How lucky is Anthony? You have a photo of him after his hair weave? Shout out. Is he funnier than you? Yes. Oh, boy.

He goes, yes. Ask anybody. Wait, are you guys listening to it? I can't hear. I can't. Ask anybody who hasn't seen me and seen boss? They know I'm funny. I'm not kidding.

I like that. He goes, ask anybody that's seen me and Voss who's funny. This is 30 seconds in. Lenny Bruce got more new jokes. Because Lenny Bruce got more new jokes than the thoughts. With the damn material that he said that. Oh, boss.

Yeah, get them together. Bring them back. Dude, here's the thing. All right, it's fine. We don't go listen to this. Wait a minute. Was Opie and Anthony funny or was just Patrice funny? Patrice.

Do we have to just get Patrice back? Yeah, bring Patrice back. I think people hate on Opie. I think Obie did a great job at fucking point guarding that fucking shit. 100%. You know? And I think the point guard is an underappreciated role. Not on this podcast.

Yeah. No, look. We love you. We praise you. We love you. We lift you up. Yeah, we lift you up and hold you in the air. We're employees.

But if I was with you guys for 15 more years, I would start being bitter. See how much property I have? Actually, no. You've been with us for 15 years. I haven't been. We've never gotten better. No, he was insecure because I think, you know, Anthony and Jim started really having, like, this dynamic.

Oh, my God. When they get cooking? Yeah, but know what it is. It's resentment. They didn't talk about it, fight about it, fight about it. Like, we fight. We all have shit. We talk about it.

We call each other up. Yeah. And air it out. They never, walking home with them was the worst. Because if you walk home with him, you're talking about him. Yeah. And I would be like, well, and just call them and just say this. Have ever, has, so I have with all of you had a serious conversation at one point where

we were like, yeah, well, it's fucking going on. Like, whatever it is. Yeah. Get too hot in the kitchen. We have a moment, right? With every one of you. I know you've had it with every one of us. Not, Dan. I disagree. I'm kidding.

Okay. Have you had it with everybody? Without, not Joe. You guys have never had a serious, like, hey, what the fuck? Maybe at some point. Maybe when we were drinking? I don't know. It would, no. No. I don't think so. Wow. Me and Joe, I never had.

You two are the problem. It's like bananas that were having. having this dialogue. Yeah. You two are very difficult people. Joe, I was wondering if you were waiting for me going, is he going to make something up? Joe, First of all, you have to be honest.

Not in a long time. Well, you've gotten a bit better. Bobby, I will tell you, since you have had Max and, like, gotten through that. Max is like 15. What are you crazy? He's 12. But I'm saying it's,

that was when the volume started coming down. Yes. Because before Max, you were down. Yeah, when he had James, the volume went up. Yes. Yeah. And then it came down and they went back up. and then it came down.

But you start... Well, no, but when he's with B, the volume goes up. Three days a week, volumes low. Dan and us, private conversations are all like, what the fuck was up with Lewis? Were they going to fight? And they go, I don't know. And then we just start talking sports.

We're passionate. Yeah. Patriots. How about those doing it? We are passionate. No, you said Patriots. I said, no, passion. All right, guys, let's take a quick moment and thank Body Brain Coffee,

which is a coffee company that I started about a year ago. It's not just regular coffee. It's great Colombian freeze-ride coffee that you could take anywhere with you on the go, just mix it with hot, cold water, or your protein shake. But we've blended four amazing adaptogens and neutropics that will help you boost your testosterone naturally and your brain function. So it's got Tonka-Ali, which is a natural supporter for your testosterone, and also great for male virility in the bedroom. Plus, it's got Lionsman, which is great for memory and focus. Plus, Ashwaganda, which really helps with your mood and Elthene, which smooths out the entire caffeine experience. Look, if there's an attack on masculinity in this country, right?

Damn right. Everyone's testosterone is down, right? Not Joe's. Joe's the manliest guy I know. And I think it's because you've been drinking body brain coffee. Absolutely. I start every single day with a body brain coffee. I love it. And all this stuff, I need it, Jerry. I'm dying. I feel, I feel weak. I feel unfocused. I feel like a piece of shit if I don't have this. It really is great. I'll tell you right now, give it a try. You just go to bodybrain coffee.com or you can get it on Amazon. You could subscribe so it comes to you monthly as well. But we're going to give you a pretty amazing discount. If you go to bodybrain coffee.com and use the promo code Rags20, R-E-G-Z-Z-20, you're going to get 20% off your order.

That's crazy. You're going to love it. Check out the reviews on Amazon. Check out the reviews on Shopify. People really, really love Body Brain Coffee. Try it for a week. You're going to feel like a completely different person just while drinking your first cup of coffee every day. Make it BodyBrain Coffee.

BodyBring Coffee.com. All right. Let's get back into it. We're from different upbringings. Yeah. We had violence screaming. yelling. You guys had... Passive abandonment. Yeah. It's just different

uppers. You had good parents. Your parents are still together, Joe. Yeah. Yeah. That's why you're such a pussy. Like, we're fucking... We dealt with real abuse. I would love to hate my dad. Don't you? No, I don't hate him. Your biological? I just don't see him. You know, who came down this weekend, though? His nephew

who looks just like my dad. That's your kind of weird. Your cousin? I kept looking at him. Your cousin, Bobby? No, my dad's... Yeah, my cousin. Yeah, yeah. I just wanted at it. That doesn't sound as close as my dad's nephew. It literally sounds closer. Yeah, way closer.

My cousin. He comes to all my shows when I'm in Sarasota. He's a great guy. And he looks exactly like your father. This is, he looks, dude, it was freaking me out because I'm looking at his face and I'm like, fuck. It's crazy. I look like my uncle. He never ever mentions my dad.

I'm expecting him to go, hey, I talk to your father or. And you and your dad don't talk. When's the last time you spoke to your father? Your biological father? It had to be. I was going to cry. I'm going to cry. Sorry, 25, no, 25, 20, over 20.

That was last year. Over 25 years ago? November, 2025. We, my, my sister, it was over that. My sister was diagnosed with kidney disease. Sure. She was going to die. Oh, boy.

She needed a kidney transplant. And I, this is from my mother. I never talked to my father after this, because my mom kind of threw this in the mix. She said, he sent her a letter saying, you know, kind of telling her, you know, he had, to go in and get checked and all that. But she said it all passive-aggressive.

She was passive-aggressively. He's like, I'm going to go in and get checked. I'm a big, dumb idiot. And he, I guess he sent her a letter like, dude, I don't know. I don't know what you want to do. Soter tried. Would a fake laugh?

I gave you. I let you do the whole thing. I did the waiting to get there laugh. I go, ah. It was very, very charitable. The bus went right by this. Dan can write that off in his taxes. There's a fucking donation.

I guess he sent her a letter like, I'm done with you letter. I don't know. This is for my... Is this another latte? I never talked to him. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, he's never met Matt.

I fucked up by not calling him out on it. I should have called him right then and, well, what the... But my... It was like, I was so... Like, my sister's going to die, so I was so like, oh, the fuck, can you... My mom got me riled up about it. And I was like, I'll never talk.

I did that shit, which was the dumb. The only thing I ever could have done. Why? Because my dad was cool as shit. Our relationship up until that point was we were friends. So slow down for a second. So what was his thing? First of all, don't have to tell me to slow down.

Just ask the question. Slow down, Bobby. So my God. It's fucking asshole in it. Wait. It's funny to say slow down. It's not that he was talking fast. You were yelling at them.

Yeah, you weren't listening. You felt like an aide. This isn't even a latte. Bobby, why? Slow down. Bobby's talking totally normal. Pay attention, Stuart. Bobby and I were locked into eye contact.

Yeah, we were literally talking. You were fucking... Well, I asked for a coffee another another latte. Can I have fucking two cups of brevet latte. I mean, you fucking... It's insane. Oh, God, you need a... Missing your dad feels.

Anyways. So, back up. How about that? That's better. That's better, but the tone still sucks. Okay, sorry. Hey, Bobby, can you say it again? Please.

Hold on. Hold on. This is not what we want. I'll get my dog to eat its food. Hey, what's going on? What's up with your dad? So what did your dad say to your sister about her kidney? Yeah, apparently he was talking slow.

You weren't listening. That's what you should say. Hey, I'm a fuck face. I was yelling at the intern people. Yeah. Can you say it again so I can hear now? They're slaves. Lewis is slaves.

You were down, you were bathing in Retard River. And you weren't listening. And you weren't listening to what our friend Robert was saying about his father. There's gold in retard. I know. That's the name of their tool. Retar River Tour. Retar River Tour is fantastic game.

So, apparently, this is, now this is 25, over 25 years ago. I guess my mother called me. My mom doesn't like, she hated that I had a relationship with my father. She hates him, huh? Doesn't like him. I hung out with him, talked to him.

Well, that's good that you talked to him. If it wasn't for my father, I wouldn't have made it in New York. He gave me, cut me a check for $1,000. I had no money when I moved here. You would have figured it out money. I had no money. That $1,000,

kept me afloat for like two months in Europe, paid my rent for two months. Three months, actually. God damn, this city used to be affordable. Too bad you didn't have that thousand dollars in Costa Rica. You could have kept that girl afloat. You both whistled. So apparently he sent a letter to my sister.

He had to go in, blah, blah, blah. And he sent a letter basically saying, you only contact me when you need something. Damn. In that. To a woman with kidney. disease. And that fucked me up. Like, she's fucking dying. Is he a matching

blood type? Is that why? He wasn't. Because he lives? Yeah, Neil, the next door neighbor gave her a kidney. Shout on me. That way, Neil. Nobody wanted that kidney. Was he a pedophile? No. No, he landed on the moon. It was just a dude. Your neighbor was Neil Armstrong.

That was going to hit. But, uh... So, she lived. She got a kidney. She had to get another. The only last 16 years, by the way. She had to get another one. It's like tits. Yeah, I was just going to say that. They're like fake hits.

You're going to knock them out and put new ones in. So anyways, I just, I should have called them. I should have been like, yo, what the fuck's up? Because I had that relationship with him. And I never did. I never called them again. You need to literally finish his podcast and call your dad. He's going to die in a few years, Bobby, and you're going to regret that.

Listen, you know what I did one night that was creepy? Me and Dawn, when Max was like, I jerked off to my sister's kidney. He goes, I still kept it in a jar. I would love if this had nothing to do with anything. You're like, yeah, I had my Don fuck me in the ass. Yeah. Total subject change.

And he goes, hey, it was fine. You know what I did? That was fucked up. I made John put a scrap on. I blew her. They get me hard. No, we stayed in his town one night. We would go back to Boston and get hotels and we stayed in that town.

And Max couldn't go to sleep. He was like one or one and a half two. And at night we had to like take him out. Sure. You know, so I took him in the car and I would drive him around sometime. I drove around looking for my dad's house. It was like Springsteen. Come on.

Yeah, dude. I was trying to find his house, and I, I think I found it. I don't know if I did, but I was saying. You got his grandson in the back seat? Buddy, it kills me that my, because Dawn's parents are both passed, and I have my mother. Sure. Her, Larry's dead. Oh, you just call him.

I just realized this is why you dress like you're in the East Street band. Yeah. Why can't you? That was good. That deserved a lot more. Joe, take another bite of pizza. That was damn good. By the way, that was good.

Thank you. I liked it. Why don't you, just be right. You're going to regret it. I'm telling you right, I regret. The last thing I said of my mom was I fucking hate your guts, and I'll never talk to you again. I hope you die of cancer.

Your mom was a heroin addict. She did it. And she, no, she was a heroin addict at the time. I didn't read the heroin yet. Is that in the book? At that time, when I told her that, I told her,

I wish you died. And then she got hooked on heroin again, probably because of those words. Oh, so it's because of you. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't. But listen to him.

He's right. You got to have to have this. Just be right. You're 50 fucking... I've looked on your stuff, you know, like Facebook, and to see if I ever see him liking anything... That's not going to happen. You've got to call him.

I don't know if I can't. Why? Let me tell... Let's hear why you don't want to call. Let me tell you why. You guys are just pushing them around here. No, they're not. I've already made me decision why.

Because he moved on with his life. He's got a wife, a daughter. This killed me. This killed me. Because I do know his daughter. You do? From the new marriage. No, I don't talk to her either.

But describe her physically. Um, no, she's a blonde chick, whatever. But, so here's the thing. I, I, I, I, I, one day something came up. Bobby. No. Something came up and, um, with my, my uncle. Sure.

And I looked on it and I saw her like it. Yeah. And I went to her page on Facebook. And it had a picture of my father who, who, who still looks great with his wife. And it said, uh, fuck, man. The best parents. anyone could ever have. Yeah, because he learned.

My next kids are going to get a better... When I have more kids, they're going to get a better experience than James' gotten. You're planning on having more? Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Do you tell the new girl? Oh, yeah. But I did it. That... She's going to get her period soon, so...

I was like... He's dating gymnast. Old Larry Nasser over here. So that fucked me up. I was like, fuck. She's literally a gymnast. You know that? No, I didn't know. But here's why... Let me just tell you why. Because he has this whole life now. I read that. Like, they have this whole great life and they're happy.

I'm not going to, I'm not going to fuck up his. Can I say something? Let me just finish. Sure. I'm not going to fuck up and introduce a whole new thing to his world. Can I say something, though, as your friend? Yeah. Fuck his life.

What about yours? You deserve. I'm good. Are you? I'm the dad, dude. I feel great. I'm a great dad. I am a dad.

That should be your nickname. The dad, dude. I'm a dad. I have a, my family is. Yeah, but you're still. Let me, let me, let me, let me, in here. Bobby, you're still a dad if you fix things with your own father. And I'm letting you know you're going to fucking regret it one day. He's going to have a stroke

one day or die. And you're going to be like, I never fucking fix it. I never introduced him to his grandson. You understand what he said to my sister. You only call me when you need something. He was right. When did she call him? You know what's so funny about? I mean, technically, you know what's funny about this? If I call for a kid to he'd give me one. Yeah. But Lewis, you know what's funny about you saying that is if you ever have beef with family that goes a long time. And then one of your friends says something like this

and then you go, oh, fuck. It might have been wrong. And then you go, or you see a different angle. Me and my sister argue all the time and every time I'm just a bigger fucking person and I call her up and I'm like, let's just squash it. Because we're going to die one day. That's a relationship that's in your life.

It doesn't matter though. 20 over 20, or maybe 30 years I have not been in his life and he moved on, I moved on to go back in. It doesn't mean he can't come back together. Huh? It doesn't mean he can't come back together.

I know, but it's like, I feel, feel like I'm adding something to his life. Now he has to be responsible. I don't want to have responsibility to his life. You don't. You're not. You're a grandson. Yeah, but now. That's not responsibility. If he wanted it. If he wanted it, he would reach out. Sure, but I also think. If he wanted responsibility,

you're going to be the, you got to be the bigger. If he wanted to know he had a grandson, he would have, he knows that I have a fucking grandson. I would double. I would double down. His brother, every holiday, dude, hey, we talk. Sure. On Facebook, his, his, his nephew comes and sees me. in Sarasota, he knows my life. Bobby, you are literally just doing the same thing that he's doing. You're both going like, yeah, if he wanted a relationship with me.

Because he's my father with the same guy. I know exactly, but I'm saying, you want Max to fucking have that one day? You're showing Max that example. One day you're going to even know he exists. No, but he should. Why? Because it's just, it's just what if Max doesn't like him? Then you don't ever have to talk about it. What if he molest Max? Oh, God. And then it comes back to this episode, Max just watches this while he cleans a gun. I go, no, put him in his life. Put him alone.

Let him take baths together. I was just calling. Is that calling joke? I don't care if you're his uncle. You don't think of bad to them. My dad, my dad was in Vietnam. Yeah. And he came back all fucked up.

Yeah. That's why they got divorced. Yeah. Actually, just read an article. Someone wrote an article that he wrote in a paper. His first night in Vietnam, it was pretty fucking epic. Wasn't an easy war. It was crazy what he went through.

Yeah. Crazy. So have some empathy. He's fucked up. You were never in a war. I was. wasn't a war. He gave you a thousand dollars. You owe you said you owe your entire fucking existence

and career to him. This is so Lewis. He's taking the guy he's never met side instead of his best friends. I'm letting you know, I've dealt with my own mom who was actually fucked up. My mom was actually fucked up. You can read it in the last chapter of knives and spoons. Great. By the way, this is all leading. Yeah, yeah. But you... And before you call your dad,

have a glass of body brain coffee. It's got lions made. And Lions Shoebies. Here's a thing. Here's a thing. I just feel like if he Where he's at in life He's at the end of his life

He's got what whatever 15 10 more years Check in with him I'm telling you right now I'll call him right now I was much But Bobby I was much much younger And I watched my sister Who was 12 years older

Go to the same thing with my dad She wrote him I found the letter when my grandma died I watched my sister write a letter That went hey you're an alcoholic I'm trying to bridge the gap My little brother wants you to be in his life When I got sober, when I got sober, and I was out of, I did 14 months, I did like two years in jail,

juvie jail and rehab. Sure. When I got out, I was at a meeting and I called him. You know, you have to do that. You have to call, and I called him. And he, the first words out of his mouth, what do you want? You want a birthday present or something? And I literally, we had to overcome that.

I was like, I don't want anything from you. I just, if you want to be friends. Sure. And we built a little friendship up. And it became strong. And over the years, I'd call him for advice. one of the, the advice he gave me for a girl one time was the, this is why he's so cool. I called him up and this girl was on the other line and she, she just was talking about it.

She goes, I want you to pee on me. She's like, I want you to piss all over me. And then my dad clicked in. I went over and go, hey, dad, listen, this girl wants me to piss on her. Would you have a piss on anybody? He goes, look, I wouldn't muster up. I wouldn't drink a gallon of water and muster up a piss, but if I had to go, I'd piss on it. I was like, sage advice.

All right, dude. He's a cool dude. That's deep thoughts by Jack Handy. But I don't know. I don't know if I could because the fear of being rejected by him. You're playing with house money. It doesn't matter. You got your own family.

This isn't about you being rejected. But fucking up his life. How do you think you're going to fuck up his life by being in his life at all? By calling him on Christmas and being like and maybe Max meeting him one day, how could that possibly fuck up his life? Because, okay. He's not moving in with you. And also, let's say something right now.

You're home. You're home. right? You got your life. You got your new house. You got your home. You got your things that you do. You got the people in your life, right? You have a great life. You got your sister, your aunt, James. A child girlfriend? You got James...

She can do a balance beam, though, so it evens out. James has an adult girlfriend. They just switch a rude. James asked how old you were, and I was like, oh, fuck. And I told him, he was like, Dad, she's closer to my age than your age. I was like, really? I was doing the math on my fingers. You're right. You guys do math different now. But imagine adding something else, another responsibility to that.

You know what? To counter that? What'd you do? My aunt, who I grew up with, kind of like she was my dad's sister. She was like a second mom. She's the reason I do stand-up. She was like the one that believed me. She was the one I lived with in Alaska.

She was very, very close to me. You lived in Alaska? Yeah, worked at the docks for a summer. I knew that. Everybody knows that. Okay. But you know, Dan was on the deadliest cad? I didn't know that.

That was during the winter. I knew Timmy, one of the guys on the first season. But when I, she, died, she died of cancer, and she had a daughter, she had two daughters she never talked to. I never talked to my cousins. And then finally, my grandma would do this shit where she would always go, well, your cousin, and I knew they never talked. So finally I went, fuck it. And I just reached out. And now she's in my life. And I'm so grateful for it. I'm going to her son's high graduation. But was there a falling out. There was difficult point. Was there a falling out?

Yeah, we never talked. She hated me when I was a kid. I was a monster. No, but you became friends with her later. And then just stopped talking to her. No, I didn't know her as an adult. I reached out to her as an adult. And I went, hey, listen, everybody's dead. Why don't we have a relationship? One of my favorite things I've ever done. I love her and her kids.

It's brought a whole new life into my fucking family. And genuinely, I say to her, fuck it. Our family fucked up. Let me ask you a question. I'll ask everybody a question. Why do you think he's not reaching out? Because he's fucked up. As he knew, as the older, I'm going to tell you right now.

As the father, the grandfather. If I knew, if I knew I had a grandson, sure. I would fucking, why would he not? But also, can I just tell you right now, look at the example of he left you when you were a kid, and he should have fought to be in your life as a father. So, of course, he's not going to fight in your life to be a grandfather.

And you're a great dad, because you saw that and you went, I'm never going to do that. Bobby, who cares about the ages and everything? You lead by fucking examples. You're the man here. Right. So if he's fucking up, let him fuck up. And at least, you know what, if you reach out and he's like, hey, you know what,

I don't want a relationship with the Max or you. You can sleep easy. He's wrong and you did what you had to fucking do. I'm going to say, I wouldn't. That would crush me. But you, okay, stop. To hear it, to think it. Sure.

To think it is one thing. I can always fantasize. It's like thinking about getting punched or actually getting punched. It's like to set myself up to actually hear the reality of it. Yeah. Yeah, but you're living with that reality already. But I do, but I'm not. So, listen, listen, we should move on to something funny because this is great,

actually, and I think it's an interesting podcast, but I want to fucking... I have a question when you're done. You know, make fun of fucking us for... This is like a, you know, I think... I don't like this. This is a genuine moment as well, but, you know... And why do you have to ruin it? No, I'm not trying to ruin it. Then shut up and just ask the question.

I really could do a lot more merch plugs during the... Was your dad... We do have to do plugs. We have to do plugs. We have to do plugs. But I'm just saying you, you're sort of like living with the worst-case scenario already. Right? And I don't believe...

No, the worst case scenario is that he rejects me. No, it's not. And it's real. The worst case scenarios, he fucking whipsmacks in front of Bobby. That is the worst case scenario. No, he becomes the worst. He becomes the worst-mic on the back. He convinces Bobby to go to Max with him.

Yeah. That's the worst-case scenario. That is, dude, we got to do it. He goes, Dad, I don't know. It's Dan law. I didn't even know that was a thing. I should have Lewis reach out to him. Oh, Lewis go pussy.

Call your son. Yeah, dude. I'm just saying I have a lot of regret for not fixing things with my mom. mom when she was alive. And that's fucked up on her. And I, and here's the truth. It was on her to not fuck it up with me. She was the mom. Yeah. But at the same time, I can remove myself. I'm older now than, uh, than she was when she died. Okay. So I'm looking at like from a different perspective. I was like, you know, she was a victim. She had me when she was 20 years old. She was a drug addict. Her fucking boyfriend was murdered. The father of her children was murdered. There was a lot. A lot of

fucked up things. Yeah. It's all in the book. Nice. So the, the reality is like, I left it out. I can remove myself from the emotion of being the abused kid. And I go, you know what? I feel bad for her. I genuinely feel bad and I forgive her. She's a young girl that was a drug addict. But I don't hate my dad. I don't have, I don't, I don't think of my dad like, fuck him at all. I, I still have memories of my dad. Like, we had cool times together. Sure, great. So did I. I used to love hanging out with my dad. Then I had to go to the whole. I don't resent my dad. It makes me sad that he doesn't, he doesn't know Max. That's the thing that makes me say. But you have the power to change that. Yeah, I know. You have the power to go.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. And I promise you, it's not... Joe, what do you say? Worst case scenarios, 90% of the time, don't happen. Yeah, I would think there's a very small chance. He's like, I don't want to fucking talk to your ex. I bet you he'd be fucking really touched and he'd be like, yo, I fucked up and I'm sorry. More than likely.

I don't think so. Maybe not. I don't think... What I say is, why are you too so adamant that Bobby does what you want him to do? Adamant? Great musician. That's a good question. I don't know.

Bobby seems fine. Obviously, he's thought about this. He's prayed on this. He has a therapist. He has a program. Why are you doing so bad? Because you have parents that are together, and I get everything's kumbaya for you, motherfucker.

But we have problems and we have regrets. I think that's what it is. I think we have seen people. By the way, Bobby's conversation with his dad about pissing on a lady. I've never had anything, any dialogue whatsoever even close to that with my father. I have with your dad. But I get my advice about your mom. That's when you walked into the bedroom.

But anyway, he went to go and he goes, can I piss on her? I love that Lewis just figured out how to make a serious conversation funny. You can do that at any time. Yeah, you can. It just feels like you guys adamantly know better what Bobby needs than he does. I think I'm trying. I don't know anything better than Bobby's own life.

I just, as his friend, think there is a chance that I don't believe Bobby that he's cool with not having his dad in his life. I just, from the way we're talking, I can see the way you talk about your dad. Alan said to me, you don't get a dad, you are the dad. I've accepted that. I've accepted it. All right. So that's me too. And I have the family.

I'm the baby. Gotta love me. I have the family. You know what I mean? I have my family. Yeah. All right, let's do some roleplay. Dan, be Bobby's father.

Oh, Robert. I told you I can't be around because I live in the North Pole. St. Nick Kelly. I've told you this. The time I know to deliver it is. Bobby does look like Santa Claus.

You've been a naughty boy for 25 years, Oh, I stepped out on Mrs. Claus once. And I've been regretting it ever since. All right. Let's do some plugs. What are you got? Who's first? I got a dad.

He's alive. Never contacts me whatsoever of any way. Where the fuck of Atlantic City, January 31st? This comes out next week, right? So these dates are passed. Atlantic City, January 31st. Vancouver, we added a show. Please don't make me embarrassed that I ask.

added a show. The only thing worse than not selling a show is selling a show, adding one, and fucking nobody comes to the added show. Now, imagine you just book shows and nobody came altogether. So 9 p.m. Vancouver, we added a show, and then San Francisco, Dan's hometown, one of the crown jewels of America, Cobbs Comedy Club February 13th through 15th. Great club. And then Virginia Beach. I've never, actually, I opened for Dave Attell there, and he had already brought Big J and Dave Smith. Me, Dave Smith, Big J and Atel were the show. That's a great show.

It was Super Bowl weekend. Plus Dave Smith. And Dave's brilliant. I'm fucking around folks. And Tom Dustin Portrait of a comedian. And I have four specials on YouTube. Go watch those fucking things. What a fucking dickhead.

Come see me live, guys. On the road, Lewis of Skanks.com. Me and Colum Turrell next weekend in Kansas City, Missouri. Excited about that. Column, we're just going to go out and fucking party together. So come watch that. E.M.S. Pennsylvania. coming up after that, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Fort Myers still on my website. That's not happening that weekend. James has a play. I canceled it. Sorry, I'm moving it to later on in the spring. Springfield, Missouri. How far Springfield, Missouri from Kansas City? Three-hour drive south.

All right. Different market. Good. To all send more. Lots of Detroit's coming up on the website. I got a bunch more dates. Tampa again, a lot of stuff. Lewis of Skanks.com.

Sign up for my mailing list on the website. I do a bonus podcast, just for subscribers for my mailing list. All the inside information on Skank Fest. all the inside information on Gas Digital. If you're interested in the behind. behind the scene stuff. And a little more of the serious side of me, my podcast that goes out,

Lewis Journal podcast, you can only get it on that mailing list, all the other pods that I do, the regs, story wars, Legion of Skanks, and RealS podcast, all available, ad-free and uncensored on Gas Digital.

And subscribe to Gas Digital. If you love this show, we do an uncensored and pre-release on the show, an ad-free version of the show. If you hate all the ads, every seven minutes is a new ad on YouTube, watch it on Gas Digital.

We premiere every Monday night after Story Wars, then it comes out everywhere else on Wednesdays. And when you do that, use code regs. Use code regs. We can trail the money. R-A-G-Z.

And pre-order my book, Knives and Spoons. We're killing it on Amazon. I'm starting to record the audiobook today, so there's going to be an audiobook as well, and audible and everywhere else. I'm going to buy it on Amazon. I'm going to get, I'm going to support you on there. This is yours.

This is your copy. I love it. I wrote you a nice little message in the inside of it. I read. It was beautiful, buddy. I'll buy it, too. I'll give you guys copies, too. I only had 10, and I buy it.

I'm giving them to people that are in the book. Let me buy. Yeah, make sure you get this book, man. And I've read some of it. It's pretty amazing where this fucking kid came from. Thank you. I think it's a guy. I think it's it goes, I gave it to my aunt.

And she was like, she like found out a bunch of shit about me and my family that she didn't know. Really? She's trying to, like, deal with it and process it. She goes, cool book. You fuck my week up. Turns out I'm a fucking horrible family member. I will, I'm on the road. Dan soda.com for all my tickets.

February 13th, going to be in Orlando. You got to change that photo. Yeah, we got different photos. There was a new website. He looked so much better right now. Yeah, thanks. He used one batch of shows, and Mike, my podcast producer, was like, we got you. That's every MC I've ever had.

Yeah, you're right. I got to change it. The beard is no more even. Orlando, February 13th. Tampa, February 14th. They're going to be up in Buffalo, February 28th. Boston and Philly, March 6th, March 7th. Boston, I think we're going to add a show.

stay tuned and then Philly March 7th, Dan Soder.com for tickets. Listen to Soter the podcast and at Dan Soder on Instagram and TikTok. Thank you very much. All right. Check it out for me. Go to punchup. Dot live slash Robert Kelly.

I'm going to be February 5th, the 6th, and the 7th. I'm going to be at the Comedy Works South in Denver. I think Danny's coming with me to that. And then after that, the 12th, the 13th, and the 14th, I'm going to be Cincinnati. Ohio on the 12th, Columbus, Ohio

on the 13th and 14th. And then in Batavia on the 27th of February, 28th of February. They're very excited to see you in Batavia, by the way. I love that club. The lady who owns it is... What's that? What's that? So, uh, did the comedy vault. The person who owns it is amazing. It's really cool. And then, of course, I'm going to be back at

Mohican Sun, which I love. One show Friday, which I love. Oh, it's so funny. You need to call your Mohican Dad. Thank you, Dan. Dan, the left. That's a laugh. It's easy to get there. You squeak me. 17 and 18th.

Make sure you go to punchup. Dot Live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. My special live from the village underground's up there. And there you go. So, Joe, McCurtees really want you to play club. Really? Yeah, they really want.

One of my favorite clubs in Florida. I haven't done it. I open for DePaolo there. Dude. 20 years ago. Literally 20 years ago. McCurdy's one of the best clubs in the country. It's so weird.

I started opening for. DePaulo 20 years ago this year. That's crazy, really? I'm turning 44 this year. That's how old Nick was when I met him and that's how old Geraldo was when he died. That's really sad. Wow, he really brought us down on that one. All right guys, let's a quick moment. I think prize picks are being a longtime supporter of the show. The big game is almost here and there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than prize picks where it always feels good to be right. And I'll tell you right now, the big game's right around the corner, so it's your last chance to get on the football action before next season. I'm not a football fan. I will be watching

the big game though. I'm assuming we're not supposed to say what the big game is because they have big game in this over and over again. Well, look, while you're watching the big game, if you're just there for the party and the drinks and the food and the cany and the pizza, well, guess what? You can get a little skin in the game and have a little bit more fun because when you have something on the line, I'll tell you right now, it makes it that much more exciting. You get a little pig skin in the game. I just came from Vegas. I was in Vegas yesterday. I had so much fun because I was throwing cash around, having a great time. Nothing crazy, but exactly like you said, just enough to make me feel excited and I won money.

It's a nice way to have some fun. Download the prize picks app today and use code regs, R-E-G-Z, to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code regs to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize Picks, it's good to be right. All right, guys, there's no better time for better health right now, and AG1 is the easiest habit you're going to start this year to improve your health. AG1's next gen is the day.

daily health drink that has been clinically shown to support gut health, which is the cause of all of, we're finding out a lot. If you have bad gut health, that is the link between a lot of different terrible diseases. They combine multivitamins, prebiotics, probiotics, and antioxidants into one simple green scoop. Taste delicious. My favorite is the berry. I love a nice berry flavored AG1 drink. It's very good. I got the AG1.

Katie started doing it too. She immediately noticed the difference when we do our little scoops in the morning. AG1 is over 50,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee. Go to drinkag1.com slash regs to get their best offer for a limited time only. Get a free AG1 duffel bag and free AG1 welcome kit with your first subscription order. Only while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash regs. Drinkag1.com slash regs.

All right. Where were we? Well, guys, we're done with plugs. Nick DiPalo is still one of the funniest comics out there. Oh, my God. When his clips come up, he's so fucking good. Made me laugh harder than anybody. He really is funny.

It makes me sad that he... That's time I saw him, I was fat, and he goes, Jesus, Dan, what are you playing tight end now? It was at your movie premiere. He goes, you got big, and I had the beard. I got mad at him at the premiere. Oh, really? That was two days, three days after my surgery. Yeah, that's right.

So I was still fat, but I just did something about it. You know what I mean? And he called me a fat fuck or something on stage, and I love... Literally I was about to jump. At the beacon. But you couldn't. But usually with jumps, I had to think about it a week before I did it. I was going to get up slowly and then limp over to him.

Do you remember when we did the Q&A and Bennington goes, I love that you guys got the shittiest, silliest band to play. It's a perfectly stupid band to have Bobby in, and it was Bill Schiff's actual band. He was in the movie and on stage with us. It was so brutal. He's like, you guys cast these fucking idiots. It's so funny. We're like, no, we just used his literal band.

And Ron just said to be like, okay, well. You didn't say who you wanted on your roast. Oh, yeah. What do you want? You want, of course, all of us. You three. Yes. We need, like, color or a woman?

I'm colorful, and he's womanly. Oh, yeah. I am a very feminine. And we got a gay. We need a woman, me. Sarah. Yes. Sarah.

There's your wife. I don't know if she'll want to do it. Why would she? She has to be. God damn, she's wrong. She has to be. No, she has to be. She's a comedian.

She's your wife. She has to be on the road. All right. I mean, you can ask her. She has this joke about doing gun noises for your son. Oh, yeah. Voss. What about Voss?

Really? Well, we're not like, if you don't think Bob says. So Dream, Nick DePaolo, Colin, Colin, dream people, if we can get them, right? Yeah. So we can start working on that now. I feel like DePaul and Colin are very getable. No, Colin. I don't know if it's a call.

Colin's tough. I don't know about Colin. Colin is not... I think you could... We couldn't get Colin to do this. I don't know if Louis will do it. Why not? No, Louis would do it.

As a special guest? That's last time Louis did a roast. I think he hates roast. I don't think he's ever done a roast. What if he comes out as his... You got a pause? Running that back? It's Bobby's dad.

Ho! Imagine you did a roast with me and you've got him. I would fucking break down in tears. Yeah. You're dead. He just comes out and he trashes my mom. My sister. Oh.

Oh. people say that Bobby can't lose weight. I guess he gets it from his mom. Oh, what a bitch. Joe List is here. Looking at his nose. He did the glasses. You are the funniest guy on this podcast.

No, no, no. You're the humblest, too. I don't know. Maybe Ari, but Ari sucks at a roast. Ari's not coming. No, Ori bombed at my roast and had it removed from the video. so we couldn't put Ari's part out. I suck.

It was infuriating. Yeah. And then it rooted because we were, like, everyone was roasting Ari and every, like, Ari's set is just missing from it. Ari's got some crazy double standards. He's full of fucking baloney. He's full of shit. And he was like, he was like, oh, I didn't know, I was going to be taped.

He was like, Ari, obviously it's going to be taped. What are you talking about? That was why I was so upset I did poorly. No, you did great. I hated my set. No, I was hammered by the end of it. I hated my set. I will.

This time I'm going to, I'm going to fuck him. I went back to a hotel room and watch the 49ers. I was so upset. Can I say something, though, if we do the roast, can we do it in the smaller room that's more intimate instead of that big cabbies? Literally no. It'll be the event of the year.

It'll be the, so we're not, we're doing it in place of the goddamn comedy jam. What? No comedy. Did you tell me? You tell Josh that? Listen, goddamn comedy jam is going to be Saturday and Sunday. Three nights is too many.

Friday night is going to be your roast. It's just one shot. We're not doing it more than once. That's that. Can we do the regs in the room where we did the reading? Yes. Please. Can we please?

Can I say? Listen. It's such a good podcast room. Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? No, we're going to start doing the tent. Inside baseball, the tent was only set up that way where it was nonstop stand-up because

it was a last minute change. We were supposed to have another stage upstairs on the balcony and I put the kibosh on it like last minute. We were supposed to do like drop curtains that were soundproof. It was going to bleed into that major room. It was going to be a problem. So we started going, that was the only thing given us anxiety. Soundproof curtains don't exist.

Yeah, they do. No, they don't. I mean, we can just move on. They do. No, they don't. I wish we put one right here. Great. God, we still got our good stuff.

So we went from five stages to four stages. We're using the ring more this year. Looks like we're doing pro wrestling. You have the ring camera? So then, uh... And you can give them the... Do you have dates already? Yeah, November 13th or 50th.

It's been announced. Yeah, it's been announced. You probably got to save the date already. No, I didn't. I'm sure we did. Oh, yeah. So, Dan's got to finally be there more than one day. It rules. I've been there.

Dude, I've gone 10 years. We've all gone 10 years the whole time. Yeah, no. We just start asking. We put the kibosh on that room last minute, so we had to reconfigure things. This year in that tent, we're also going to be doing live podcasts and other. It's not just going to be straight stand-up. So that tent...

Are people going to have... That tent will be where the podcast is from. But they can't have people coming in and out. What do you mean? There's like this thing where people just walk, like that tent outside, people are just walking in and out. And people, you know, can they shut it off a little bit? No, we can't keep people in a tent and lock it.

Not in lock it, but not let it be a true way. You know what? In my schedule, you got me for two days. Woo! Two full days. Two full days. Friday and Saturday. Two full days.

Sunday I'm flying home. So we get Colin, we can. We get Nick DePaulo. Call it up. See if he wants to do it. I don't know if we're getting caught. You call Colin. You call Colin. I'll call Nick. I'll get Nick. Nick's easy. Nick was at Skankfest last? Not last year. Also, it's in New Orleans. It's close to Georgia.

What is Colin going to say? Yes. No. What is he going to say? Who's this? He's going to be like, first of all, I don't appreciate this fucking. Here you go. I don't want to be on your stupid podcast. All right. I think he's going to- fucking stupid Bobby Kelly. I say he's going to hang up. He would do my roast. He's not doing it. He's not doing it. He picks up and says what? Why did that, why did that ring was so longer than the other rings? Because that was him sending you the voicemail. Wow. He pushed me right to it.

Wow. We'll get Colin. We'll try. We'll try. We'll get up to Colin. Nick DePaulin. Tony Hinchcliff? No. He's going to be at the thing, isn't he?

Yeah, but he's not friends with him like that. I've never seen him in the same room. I think Joe is Tony Hinchcliffe. Although I think it's the character he does. I love Tony. Tony's good at roasting. Tony's great at roasting. But if you're going to have that, you have Zach.

But Zach's not like his friend like that. I would even say Big J is not even friends with Joe like that. Here's the thing. Who's hosting? Nate Bargatsy. Who's hosting? Whoa. Bargazzi would be fucking massive.

We can get Nate. We think so? 100%. Who's hosting? I mean, it's going to give up $4 million in one night to be there, but Mark Norman, if you can. Sarah's first text, would love to.

Second text, we can write together. Second, third text, although realized I'm getting roasted. And that's, then she hasn't written back since. So, that's it right there. By the way, you don't need any more. It's us, one, two, three. Nate Bargazzi, DePaolo, ideally,

Colin, Mark Norman and Sarah. That's your fucking roast, dude. No blacks allow. What about your friend from Key West? Tom Dustin? Yes. Tom Dustin. No, he's going to be a secret weapon, writer. No, no, no, no, no. Maybe. I got a. Tom Dustin's here. I'm already practicing my jokes.

We can ask Tom. I know these people better than you. He's a nervous Nellis. Nick Nardizzi. Paul Nardizzi. Damn it. Nick Nardis. I thought I was pulling. I was trying to pull out an old. Boston name that I Fuck, I knew Nardizzi.

Why don't you get Dane Cook to come to Skank Fest next year? Dane Cook? Let me tell you what I'm doing right now. And I'm doing, I'm slow working it. You guys are going to be friends again. You and Dan Cook. I have nothing against a kid. I really don't.

You treat him like your father. I'm very happy for him. He's married. You got to be friends with Dane or your dad. Did he meet his wife when she was 18? Is that a true thing? I don't know. Lewis, you're killing this before he gets off the ground.

It's either going to be your dad or Dane. You're like one of them back in. My dad. Yeah, okay. There we go. I got it. Red herring. Oh, you can't call your dad? You got to be friends with Dane again.

No, my dad. I call Dacuck. We can't be. Dad Cook. He goes, why did I not talk to you? He's overreacting. James loves Dane Cook. Dan is one of the funniest guys.

This setup is so good. Like, for a kid that age. I hate when people say, fucking, don't fuck yourself. The guy was going up in front of 20,000 people to murder it. And you know what? The first Patrice benefit, I had a lot of that energy.

I had still had that, like, fuck, Dane Cook. And then I went, that was the last ticket I bought for a comedy show was the first Patrice benefit. Dane did a set, and I was like three times during a set, I went, fuck. When Dane would come to Boston, I would buy tickets for every night. He's hilarious.

I've bought, like 12 different tickets to date. I would watch Dane when we toured together. I watched Louis C.K.'s 2023, live at the Dolby special last night with James. Great. That is a fucking masterpiece. It's so fucking good, dude. Dude, that whole bit of the Bible with the fig. Where he pulls it out?

God fucking, damn it, is that funny, dude? James, I mean, James was pissing his pants, like, on the... Have you showed him, like, chewed up? Yeah, I showed. Louis Louis should be inventing stuff to save the fucking world. He goes,

no, yeah, he goes, Louis's the best comic alive. He is. He's the best comic alive. He is. He's the best comic. If you're showing him

Louis stuff, then you can show him my stuff. I show him your stuff. You think you're okay. Yeah, the retard river like that one. Yeah, they're really snapping it up over there,

jumping over each other. Nobody, he's really, jumping each over each other. He's a good one in there. He loves Gaffigan. Like, Gapigan is his favorite. And now he,

With Louis, he's been watching all Louis. He's like, you know what? He's like, I think Louis is the best. He thought it was Gaffigan for a while. Where does he have me? Eight, seven? I'll ask him. I'll get a video of James ranking his top ten favorite comedians, and we'll see where you fall.

But first, play him the video I made to congratulate him on the Jiu-Jetsu special that you never showed him, you fucking fuck. The tournament. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah. All right, so we got it. Who, but who's going to host the show? Who's going to be the host? Who's the...

Karen. Karen Fianne is a great idea. As a roastmaster. No, but hang on. She'll be fine. She'll be perfectly mean. She's perfectly mean for that. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. And you do, yeah. She'll dress like a little pig. Yeah. She'll dress like a rags. In front of his wife. Yeah. No, no.

Joe's going to jerk off 17 times. Are they doing the rags as a podcast now? Is that a thing? No. No. We're going to get that fucking 20% money. The lion's share. The lion's share.

Come get that lion's share. Using our fucking name and likeness. That's what I said. They were like, yeah, we might do it as a race. regular pod. I'm like, you can't just do a spoof of our pot as a regular pod. I genuinely don't care. I don't care. Yeah, but it's still

it promotes. It promotes us. You could do it, but you can call it fucking. They're going to girl go to the fuck down. They're going to girl code us. Yeah. The rags. Oh, my God. Do you have they girl code us? Can we get a spot on the rags?

Well, they're all huge ticket sellers on the road. The roast is started. No, that's a good. Did that line up right there? one of the best roast lineups, period. And I want to do good on this one. Oh, me too. I'm not drinking. I'm not smoking before. I'm going to fucking dial in. I did a great job on the Voss roast, but my voice was fucking shredded. I need a win.

I need a win. I didn't do good on Big J's roast. I didn't do good on your roast. I want to, I need a win. I did good on Voss's roast. You did on Bull. You were against roast. You were against my roast, against Big J's roast. You weren't into doing them. You were like, very like, I don't really want to do them. You didn't want to do this one a couple weeks ago, but now you're in. But I only like to do it. But I only like to do it. But I only like to do it. But I only like to do roast with people I like. That's why. I'll tell you what. The only roast I've been into,

I've done well on. Roast to Nate, roast the yonis. That was the best. Yeah, I'm in. I like small roast. I'm gonna call me.

I like a small place. He doesn't have the same number. You have the new one? Yes, he's my son's godfather. Okay. Is he? That doesn't mean anything. Yeah.

I keep on saying that, so he has to give him a little. Colin is Max's godfather. He didn't pick up. Yeah. He went, no, thanks. Is he calling you right now?

Oh, no. No, him. Me and Jay had a debate who's a better godfather, Nate, or Kurt Metzger, Isabella. That's really funny. It's crazy. Honestly, probably Kurt. He's going to get it ready for some real life situations.

He's getting a hot push to voicemail. Yeah. Nate's going. Sorry, King Angland. I don't know that guy. We both got pushed. Wow. Yeah. This roast is going to be us. Let me try to Paul. Let's see if he answers. He'll answer. What's he doing? Yeah. He goes, sorry. I'm

He goes, I'm tracking these Somalis in Minnesota. I got a fucking tracker bug on three of them. Dude, say what you want about ice. Maybe we should get rid of all these Mexicans, but they really do. They started actually dressing like Nazis. It's hilarious. You see their outfits now? Also, the one thing about, now you can wear a mask.

Yeah, that's crazy. You talked to all that shit during the COVID, about how masks couldn't make you breathe? Well, they're wearing a mask so they don't get fucking dogs and their families don't get murdered. Oh, here we're a conservative Bobby coming up. I'm just saying that. Dude, it's America first until we take Greenland, Venezuela. and give Argentina $40 billion. We need places to put our stuff or China or Russia's going to take them.

You want missiles that class? Yes. It's Joe List. You're on live with Bobby Kelly, Lewis Gomez, and Dan Soder. Louis J. Gomez. We have an offer for you. I don't do business with strong middles, but good. He's got to do the road.

We're doing a Joe List. Strong Middles is a compliment. Joe List roast next November at Skankfest, New Orleans. They asked me who I want. You're the first and only person I even said. Can you do it? If not, can you write for me? When is this?

November 13th, New Orleans, 26. Big roast. Come on, Nick. Who is that, Bobby? That was Bobby. It looks really hot. I know. I heard he's a honk now.

Yep. Hunk of shit. You're our dream get. We did try Colin already. He didn't answer. Yeah, Naporgosti and Colin didn't answer. Well, let me kick it around. But, you know, I would lean towards it.

Yes, but I can say yeah. I got to make sure my schedule. You can probably drive there. It's in New Orleans. And Lewis offered you 10 grand guaranteed. He said cash. Lewis Gomez. Lewis J. Gomez.

Lewis J. Gomez. You know him, Puerto Rican guys. Yes, I love to. Boy, he had a scene where he kicked the windshield in and they cut it out. Yeah. I must have followed him. That was the best scene of that goddamn movie. It was.

They took it out, right? Slightly hurtful, but yeah. No, no, Joe, you were terrific. I mean, please. Thank you. You too. I took you right up there with Keanu Reeves. Well, you nailed the angry Boston uncle.

I know. That was quite a stretch. I said to Louis, can I play a finger or fucking brandy of something? Let me break out of this greasy fucking. I'm a pigeonhole my whole life. Can I play a fucking? Is it 10 grand, really?

No, I don't know. Well, if he performs a whole weekend, yeah, I'll get him 10 grand. He said if you do the whole weekend, you can get 10 grand, which is double what I get and I go every year. No, I think you get more than that now. I can't do the whole weekend because November 13th, I have a brisk. No, we need you. We need you.

You do the whole weekend. You come do the roast. You'll fucking kill. It'll be great. When's the last time you did a roast? You should be asked me when the last time I was on stage. I think it was in fucking November. Oh, geez.

Maybe we don't want you. Huh? No, I know. I could stink up to join. Let me kick that one around. All right. All right. Think about it. Talk to you guys. And I'll talk to you soon. I love how you feel you have to ambush me live on you.

Well, we tried calling. He didn't answer. Nate didn't answer. And I said, I'll get my guy right on the phone. So I'm 12th on the list. I heard you do another documentary on this time as a Greg Rogel. I'll make you know. All right, all right. I'll talk to you. Hi, Nick.

All right, brother. See you guys. Bye. Bye. The funniest guy. God. He's it. Never not funny.

Never not funny. This is going to be the best roasts literally ever. This is a great roast. It's funny if we all bomb. Oh, my God. Not a scam. Absolutely. That big group of skept.

I care. Dude, people are going to be losing their fucking minds. So I think it should be in a, yeah, definitely in the outside. Stop, stop saying. Outside thing. We should have it. Probably. Not the big room.

The entire festival is going to want to see it. There's only one show. The person you're trying to. Fuck, he's still. So you're dead? And the book's over. Probably the whole, there's only one show. So you have to have the whole festival has to be able to see it.

Everyone that's there's going to want to see it. Yeah, but if it's a special thing. Friday night, too. I like it. Friday night. Yeah. Let's get nasty. Bobby's got to go.

Yeah, I got time restraints. Let's do plugs. Please. I mean, let's do ads. Should we have Shane? And the show first. Shane's going to be there. Shane.

Shane's got to be there. We can not have a bar. You got to have Shane. I don't know. Shane's got a lot going on. Yeah. I think to ask him to do a roast right now. I realize my roast was pretty fucking epic. If you really think about the lineup of my roast, it's crazy.

Also, it was Shane, you guys, Tony. List, Shane. List had the set of the night. List had the set of the night, followed by Shane. Yeah. Followed by Hinchcliff. Fucking murdered. Hingcliff.

Yeah. That was the three top sets. Watching Joe List set, I was like, I'm fucked. You know, if you asked Dane to go to Skank Fest, he'd go. I don't know him. Just have reach out. Do you know, Drew Dunn? Yeah.

Drew Dunn opens for him. He's close with Dane. She's fucking tell him to reach out. Also, Dane probably has reps, I imagine. Yeah, but I think this is a festival that you probably want to get through. Do you think he'll bring his hot child girlfriend. We can compare a hot child girlfriend. It's his wife.

It's his wife. That'd be great. Hott child girlfriend podcast. Yeah, your girlfriend and his wife could play blocks while you guys go and... You'll run it podcast? Yeah. You guys keep going fuck around. All right, well, listen.

Make sure you check out all of our dates coming up, and I'm very excited for the Skag Fest. And get your copy of this book right now. I have my copy. I'm buying a copy from my Kindle. The ship's March 3rd. It's ships March 3rd. But get this right now.

Knives and Spoons. Lewis's book. And make sure you check out his coffee brand, body brand coffee, which I love. And that's it. We'll see you guys next time on the regs. Thank you.