Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Lipitor Ball | Mike Feeney Jared Freid Natalie Cuomo

Episode Date: June 28, 2021

This weeks YKWD, we're joined by guests Jared Freid, Mike Feeney and Natalie Cuomo to talk Dave Chappelles Comedy Ball, how Key West was for Bobby, and how to enjoy industry parties! Get the EXTRA 20 PLUS of YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico-financieras del solititante en el momento de la solicitud. back again. Original, original. Yeah, we're back live in the studio. It was fucking a cool 72 degrees in here, like a Ruba in August when we showed up. But we got the AC going, we got the fan going, and we got the crew in here tonight. Live back, tonight live back. I'm back. I was away. I'm back in New York City. And we got a great show. Gabby's here. Mush is over on the fucking console. Behind the computer and making magic.

Hopefully not fucking up the show. Mush and us. Maybe one mush. We like a mush every once in a while. Right? Mush. Speaking of I can't hear., mush. Speaking of, I can't hear. Yeah, like in life. I can't hear. Wish I couldn't talk. I got mush already. I got mush.

I'll turn the volume up. I'll turn the volume up. You're fucking, it's on. My dad is in the business. Shut up. Is it turning up? It's on. My dad's in the volume business.

Yeah, my dad's in the headphone business. Can you hear? No, that's what I'm saying. Take him off. It might be the box. Yeah, it might's in the head for on business. Can you hear? No, that's what I'm saying. Take him off. Might be the box, I'm sorry. Yeah, it might be your box. You burnt your box. Anyways, Gabby's here.

Hi. We got a fucking, I don't know what you name again? Ben, weird Ben, and then we got what you name again? Nicole. Nicole, normal Nicole and weird Ben. And Ben's shin is the widest thing I've seen in my life. I don't even know if I can cook it. Holy shit.

It's white. All right, Gabby, you introduced everybody, what'd you? Okay, we have Jared free. Great to be here. Great train. Great pleasure, buddy. I know, I miss you too. Where were you?

I was in Key West. I saw that. Yeah, we'll talk about it I'm very disappointed really well. I'm happy I'm very happy about one thing that I didn't know I'd be happy about and I'm very disappointed about something that I thought it would be really happy about So cliffhanger yeah cliffhanger. I'm like cliff. You love cliff. I love a cliff. Go ahead. Go ahead We've micfini. Hi What kind of reaction is that? What kind of yes and to your guest?

I said hi. I just didn't like it. No, you went hi. Like we're in 1950s. Yeah, I was putting some pet into it. Like what is face? Fucking dick van dyke, I don't like it. Hi, how you doing?

Hey. And who else? And we have Natalie Cuomo. Natalie Cuomo, what's up? You've never been on the show. First time. First time, and are you cold? Uh.

We were, oh no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. If anyone says they're cold right now, they need to be ejected from this room. You just have low self-esteem stance. I've been hurt. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. I was wishful. Yeah. Okay. I was with him. Invisible. Yeah. No, you're not. You should seem like a very nice girl. So yeah, I did go to Key West. Have you been? Yes. Of course you have. You rich. Have you been? No. I'm not. And that has nothing to do with going to Key West. Your family's loaded. No, they're not. What narrative? What makes you think that? Because I have nice teeth. Yes. Yes.

You have teeth as a, but nice teeth is an indication of money and that's how they've, there was hard time money had to be split to either go to the orthodontist or go towards Christmas and they chose teeth so that I could, people could give the illusion of rich. Well, plus your hair? Well, that can't be taught. That's rich hair. Yeah. And your mustache is a fury in it. I really do. I think you like it. I don't. I don't know if you,

you wouldn't, you didn't address it till the podcast. I'm gonna write that. I'm gonna write it in a letter and mail it to you so you know that I'm pretty lazy. If you're gonna be a formal ant written letter. Fuck it, I'm gonna wax and stamp it. I'm gonna fuck it. You know what I'm gonna say?

I'm gonna fuck a mustache. You're gonna stamp it. I'm going to get a little bit of a mustache. You're going to stamp it like a Renaissance letter? With 8A. You hate that it looks good or you don't like that it changed what it does to me. That it changed me. I don't like it. People bought a cup. I don't like it.

Have you always had a mustache? Never in my life. Did I not meet you before? I feel like I met you only with mustache. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, so weird. Yeah, I've never had any facial hair. It looks like the dad from a Pixar movie.

That's pretty good. We actually have like a whole good assistant. Oh, okay. You can bring that up on this ring. It's the dad. I'm not doing this in my kitchen. Yeah. Yeah, I went to Key West.

You've never been. Never been. You've never gabby. You've been rich in. Whoa. Because of my mustache. Yeah. In Florida. Key West. You've never been. Never been. You've never gabby. You've been rich in whoa because of my mustache. Yeah. In Florida. Key West. Okay. Not where that is. Yeah. Des Moines. Oh, I've been in the Des Moines one. I've been to Pekipsi. Are we done with this wacky hijinks podcast talk? Do you want us to shut up?

I want you to question. Yes. You've been, of course you have. It on a yacht, right? No. On what? In a hotel. What hotel? I don't remember. The nicest one.

I was a child. Yes, okay. Anyways. There he is right there. See that? See that? We have it. Yeah, there we go.

I just didn't have the name. But we got it. I didn't know that Bob Pixar. Bob Pixar. Well, here's the deal. Sure. It is the comedy club fucking unbelievable. I thought it was gonna be all drunk, just obnoxious fucking household. What Key West is like basically,

bourbon street, it's red neck Miami. Yeah, all of this. Okay. It's Miami for red necks. There you go. Yeah, you wear dumb hats, stupid shirts, you flip flops,

get fucking trash. What's the name of the street? You want a giga second dick and nobody cares. Okay. No, here. Well, okay, stop. Here's why I'm mad at fucking Key West. Not that gay.

Not that gay. Not his gay. No, I thought it was gonna be gay. Now, you gotta remember it's Florida. So there's not a lot of South Beach South Beach. Key West is supposed to be gay. What were you expecting? It was I guess swept away by a fucking parade and lined up coming back with stuff painted on my stomach. I

don't know. Why do you think he went to pride? Yeah. Why do you think I went there? Why didn't I jump my wife and kid? I don't know. I was gonna break the news tour. I don't think that's a, I thought it has kind of reformed into older man in a flowered shirt who's kind of left his life. Jimmy Buffett fits. Here's what it is. There are gay people, but they got older.

When they were, this is what I found out. It used to be way gay. But all those people got to go to older and then it got gentrified with all those people, the red necks that don't wanna go to Miami or fucking, they wanna go down here and be weird, okay? Sexually, people just wanna fuck, you can do whatever you want.

It's like Trump people and far left people, they have the same t-shirts. Interesting. So you can get a fucking Trump shirt and then you get, they have the same t-shirts. Interesting. So you can get a fucking Trump shirt and then you get a fuck Trump shirt over here. They have shirts to say, you know, I'm straight but I'm not narrow. That's good.

I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks. So you have a bunch of guys down there that probably wouldn't like gay guys in the neighborhood. I down there fucking, who gives a shit we're in Key West, fuck my wife. Let the freaks flag fly. Yeah, who gives a shit wearing Key West, fuck my wife. Let the freak flag fly. Yeah, and they have like a fantasy fast wear. Really?

The whole island goes nuts and you can be naked on certain sections of the island, on certain streets, you can just be naked. A lot of leathery skin down there. Never. Nobody likes a hat or some 10 lotion. Never the people you want to be naked that are naked. Yeah, I mean, it depends.

You're young. I'm older So I like a saggy tit. You do. I love it and I saw the best pair God damn it. Saggy in what way? I just like a I like a Doug Doug What what when you take him out of the brow they go Doug Doug They got bounce come back Like there was that's, those aren't sick. Those look great. Those are fake.

But yeah, but no, the guy who runs it, Tom Dustin, great guy. Boston dude. Boston comic. Yeah. Fucking full blown alky. I mean, that's his reputation. That's his reputation. Yeah.

Yeah. He, I go, when I used to do shows with him every once in a while, and he was just fucking trashed. He would sell a wallet that lit up on fire. It was a magic wallet, and he would open it, and it would light up, and he would sell them after the show, and you'd tell fucking hundreds of them a week at that time. And I go, why?

And he goes, I go, why not a shirt, or your CD? He goes, this is the, this makes the most money per wallet. I found out what I could pay for these and how much I could sell them for, and this makes the most money. So that's what I sell. It's one of those comedy things where you hear about it, because I heard about that,

where a lot, there's certain people out in this world that are like, I sell the wallets. It makes a ton of money. And you're like, this isn't a long game idea. I respect it though. I respect. Listen, you get cash on hand, I get it. But like, the idea that like, you know,

this house was built on the firewall, it's like. Yeah, that's my speed, dude. Which one? I love them. You like the American flag. I like a freckled chest. I love cancer chest. Is that like three generations of a family?

I know, that's three. This is a Christmas card. How old is the one in the middle? I just can't tell. Can't be over 20. No, she's older. She's older. 33.

Yeah, you can tell. She got hard nipples. She had a kid, dude. She had a kid. Those nipples have fed something. I mean, and that chick's belly buttons all fucking twisted from having a couple kids. Yeah, I would be so happy with any one of those.

I would like the American flag one the most, the one that looks... She looks like the politician. Yeah, she does. You feel like there's something attractive about them being busted? I don't know, I just like that. You like the damaged.

No, you're damaged. And like a bruised banana. You like a woman in readers. It's damaged. Like a bruised banana. You like a woman in readers? It's damaged to you. Look, I don't like perfect. Everybody knows, and I like goofy face, hot body. You know what I mean? I like a dead tooth, a fucking weird eye.

You know, I like bangs. You know what I mean? I just, just what I've always liked. I've just always been into that. And down there, there's a lot of that. Tom Dustin, I was in the green room of this club Com com comity Key West. I think it's called and I was very like fuck. I hope this is gonna be good And it sold out. Yeah, I call them. This is the best thing you have one here is a comic

Hey, dude, you want me to promote this week? No, we're good I'm like what he goes yeah, we're probably gonna sell, we already sold 30 for this. At 40, 50 for that, we're gonna sell out, it's up to us. Dude, fucking, I don't give a shit, right? And then, flew in, went to the green room, they had water, they were so nice, they had a bunch of comics on the show,

only doing five minutes, which I'm fine with. It wasn't like, he's gonna do 10, he's gonna do 15, five minutes each, they were all friendly. And then this woman was back there and she was a fucking angel. And I'm like, hey, how you doing? I was like, oh my God, look, I love my wife. I'm not gonna fucking cheat on my wife.

I was like, whatever, maybe, you know? Oh my God. But she goes, yeah, I'm Tom's girlfriend. I was like, what? I made a deal. I was like, what? What made a deal. I was like, what? What is it? Tom, this is why I love life.

Because if you just fucking go with it, right? You'll find your spot. It may not be fame, it may not be fucking, you know, TV show, but if you just go with your life, you'll find it. And this motherfucker who I love, Tom, found his life. I found a spot. Down there, he had DUIs. He went down there. You don't need a fucking car. You just ride a bike. There he does. He got a tin can, a soup cup, put it on his

bike for his drinks. So he can, he still drinks. I like it. He turned into it. He was like, I'm, no, sobriety fuck that. I'm going into the spring. I respect that. There's not enough people doing that. Absolutely. I am. He went down there and was like dude I can be down here if I and I got off the drive I'll ride my bike and then he met this girl who is a fucking knockout. I mean be beautiful What does she do? She works with him at the club that everybody in Key West has five six jobs Because the rent in Key West is comparable to New York City. That's very, I know somebody who lived on there's a bartender and it's fucked,

because that hurricane destroyed half their business before COVID. Yeah, so rent for two better was like 3,500. No. I swear to God. Why? I'm telling you, that's okay. So everybody, but nobody cares.

Because they'll do like, wait tables, bar back, open a comedy club, rent the scooter business, blah, blah, blah. And then they get fucked up at night and they fuck each other. It's in that nice that you do that. Why would anyone choose to live there if it's not expensive? Because they get to drink party and just be free.

They're choosing a certain life. They're choosing that. They're choosing a swashbuckler, you know, new age pirate life, I would think. That's it. Yeah. A modern day pirate. Yeah, you're choosing this entrepreneur pirate.

Yeah, with a bicycle. A small business loan. Yeah. A PPE pirate. Yeah. But here's the problem. Beautiful. It's 9 million degrees down there.

Hey. I showed up with a family, an eight year old, and a wife in sweatpants and a black t-shirt. It was 9 million degrees. Hotel wasn't ready. And I took a walk to get lunch, because that's what you got. What are we eating? That's all you fucking we have now.

Yeah, sure. And I- Are you going to be in charge of that decision? Woof. I sweat. I almost passed out. Swecking. I sweat it through. I was just my total share. But I sweat, I almost passed out sweating. I sweat it through, I was just my total tear.

I did see a video on Instagram, it was you and Calta sitting on the street in great chairs, a great position to watch the world go by. And I was like, it must not be that packed. Was my first, like, for you to have those seats though, how'd you have those? Oh, it was packed. It was a front row seat for, is it Duval Street?

What is it called? Yeah, Duval Street. That's the main drag. But here, it's like a mile. What was Calderon doing down there? He came down to hang out. Just a party. Number one best friend.

That's the best. Yeah. His new kitchen, his new outdoor setup looks unbelievable. He has a sprinter or spritzer, whatever the fuck is. A Mercedes sprinter. Thing, right? Yeah, go ahead buddy. He A Mercedes Sprinter thing, right? Yeah, go ahead buddy. He's got a Mercedes thing, right?

And he loaded the fan, he has a driver that drives him down and drove his golf cart down behind him. That's how much money he's got. So he drove down and they fucking parked the thing, he got in the hotel and we hung on all weekend with the family. I love that.

I love that Jared hates any talk about Calta. He just walked right out of the room. He loves Calta. He's like, yes, I'm fucking out. Yeah, it was amazing, but not gay. I thought it was going to be, there was one gay bar that was open late and you drove by it and it was, Did you go in?

I like that you went to the southernmost point of the United States and couldn't believe it was hot. Florida, literally. Okay, it wasn't hot, it was fucking hell hot. It wasn't sweatpants. Even the people, look at the first day I was for it now. Airfit outfit. Yeah, dude, fuck you. You bring shorts in the car.

You put a linen shirt in your little carryout. Linen shirt, there's no piece. There's no piece. Sure big enough for me, okay? Yes there is. I look like Mollum Brando in fucking... In the score? For sure.

Oh, in the fucking, uh, Dr. Doc Poc- Poc- Poc- I'm gonna say it in fucking- You gotta say Dr. Shreintel. No, not. You said, I'm in the doctor role. That's what I was gonna say.

I don't know. You fucking stepped on my tongue. Are you wearing the Rolex? Yes. Did you finally get a Rolex? I did, yeah. Let's see it. Nope, give it to me.

No. Let me see it. Oh, God. What the fuck, man? I'm just announced everything. I'm going to get rolled out front. You talk about getting a Rolex every day. There you go.

Check it out. Yeah. Oh, held it up to me like a little rich woman. Can we finish the fucking conversation? Yeah, you can go. You have rich, you can go. I like that. She's like, you can go. She's she's like you can go she's not a

gold digger if I showed up that's what I would look like and that be max just me a max on the beach just oh what's that little dude doing why is he red because he's a fucking he's no what see me let me just see it it's really nice look at it heavy like what's the that's terrible I've just passing around your new Rolex What the blue face you want us so badly to look at the Rolex. I do not that's why you buy a Rolex is to show it off I roll X alright. Let me take it off but thank you because Rolex but with an a like that You know if you could just backwards are You know if you could just backwards R Yeah, I like it a rush up. Don't do that you didn't give it time

You give the bomb bandana is a roller expelled with an a what are we doing fucking was it was it I left you Push it because you're not funny. You hate me today. I hate everybody. I love you. I love you It's hot. I love you. He's very love you. All right. Listen, I think this is undeserved Yeah, he went to spout like right Of course you do, but it has hauled. And you don't know, I'll let the chat vote. Was that joke undeserved? Mike, let us know. Okay.

I'm bomb dead, Dan. That's what you would look like, Gabby, if you wrote it. That's me after I get out of a tail. That was actually your vagina. That's me, a vagina, like a few, Gabby perter pussy. I went into a tanning bed with no underwear on it. I burnt my pussy. Yeah, oh, that makes me so happy.

Just a swollen veg. 15 years old, no one was sitting it. You had to sit on the back of your ass for a while. That's terrible. Did you tell your parents? Yeah, of course. What did they say? They said, you're an idiot.

You're a fucking stupid idiot. Yeah, you're a person. They weren't concerned. No, they don't worry. Why would they be concerned? Maybe like my poor child is a burnt pussy. No, you're an idiot. That's how kids, you know what I'm saying?

How you learn, not to be an idiot. By you doing something stupid and your parents going, you fucking idiot. And that's how you learn. My parents are so sociopaths on top of that. Oh yeah, here's what fucking dad is. And that's, I love him. And your mom is, your mom.

She is crazy. She's fucking crazy. I love her even more. She's sick. They're sick. So anyway, as the club down there is, I'm believe I did a separate podcast. I'm her even more. She's second. Third sec. So anyway, the club down there is on Belir. I did a separate podcast. I'm putting up on Patreon.

I'm gonna give that to you this week, Mark. I'm the fuck I forgot to bring it down. Yeah, Duval, Duval, what is it? What is it? None of these. Lou fucking roasted me. I want to see Bobby with an ice bucket on his head. Oh yeah.

She needs work. On her tummy. Fuck, that's good. Yeah, damn. Lou's coming in. They hate bucket on his head. Give him. Oh yeah, she needs work on her time. If it's that's good. Damn. Lose. Lose coming in. They hate me on the chat. The kids are annoying. Thank you. It's a math joke. Exactly math.

And it but not bomb. Melissa said Gabby stinks. Fuck you, Melissa. It was a decent joke. Decent joke. Back. Ban him from the chat. The decent joke? No, ban him from the chat. The decent joke?

No, I'm kidding. Please, don't be serious. It's deserved, Natalie. Thank you, Natalie. Deserved. No, she said deserved isn't it was a deserving joke? No, you deserve the fucking bomb, Anna. No, no.

I'm gonna throw up. Sorry. You're the queen. You stuck on me? Through Melissa. There we go. Everyone's really on team Melissa about hating Gabby, huh? Yeah, they hate me.

Oh, they don't, nobody hates you. Leroy says Gabby stinks. And then Lou and her are going back and forth helping her grow. Lou said to make some of us like you, Gabby. Michael is my boy. Hey, can you go up? What does it say up there?

Must show Bobby the comment. Yeah, the Lou, the Melissa comment. Yeah, show me the comment. Boy comment, wanted to the Melissa comment. Yeah, show me the comment. Boy comment, wanted to see my ear. Wow, I don't fucking know. This is a nightmare. All I wanted to know, chat people, did Mike deserve the buck man.

Make a bob. No, he didn't. So there's go right back to you. No, it's gonna go back to you. I love you, Gabby. Listen, don't hate Gabby. Oh, I take that off. Look at this. Yes, I'm a guy. He is mad. I'm love you, Gabby. Listen, don't hate Gabby. Oh, I take that off, love.

Look at this guy. Yes, I'm a fucking gay. He is mad. I'm a fucking gay. I love me, or love me. But I hate me. It's like, I hate all young comedians. Why?

Because all you have to do is put a chat room in front of you. Fuck it, buckets. And you would have done that for two hours. You just called us buckets? Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know. I like it. I liked it a lot.

It hurt and it was like it's original. Yeah, thank you. I just made it up to you. I like it. I liked it a lot. It like hurt. And I was like, it's original. Yeah, thank you. I just made it up. It's good. I'm going to tweet about it. I fucking tweet later. I'm going to tweet about buckets. It sounds like something trolley trappling with a son.

See, now that is a good old bomb. Wow, that was a heavy bandana. Is that the bomb that you like flies? You fucking go to his bum then. Whatever, dude, I fucking say it all wrong all the time. That's the whole thing about it. I say wrong things. Does anyone else feel the fan?

Yeah. Yeah, we all feel it. The fan is in the worst possible position for me. I could possibly imagine. Are you cold? No, it's just like, it's blowing here. It's just on my hair. Like, like, please, you should have a good hair.

Why don't you sit in this spot and then when Jared comes, he could sit back there where he would love to be near the fan. That's a pretty good idea. And then it's not rude, your hair. Are you worried about your hair? No, it's annoying having this thing blow on one spot of your head. I don't understand what you're talking about.

Just let me, you need, it's bugging you that it's fucking with your hair. No, it's a sensation. You don't like sensations? I don't like sensation. I love sensation. Why don't you like sensations? I like sensations.

This particular sensation is uncomfortable and strange. What? Is it bringing up the left-station? What happened to you that a fan is making you a cool breeze, which 99% of the world would be like, oh, that's a cool breeze. Especially in this humid room. And you're, and it somehow bringing up some weird thing for you holding yourself for the whole thing.

I don't like it. I hate it. Why do you think he's going to go through? I mean, the word on God, you make me scared. I feel like you came here to cancel my podcast because I don't know you. I don't like you stop using. I, yeah, she's using Raywords. And I don't like. Can you stop using it? Yeah, she's using Raywords. I feel uncomfortable.

It's hurt. Well, Bobby's in his position of power, not turning off the fans. So really, it's my fault. This sensation is kind of on you. If you want to move, if you want to switch with Gabby. We could switch. Let's switch. Oh, that would be wonderful.

Yes. There we go. So here's another fun. I'll keep the podcast moving since we're live My mom tried to come to Bobby show Yeah, all right, welcome. Welcome. I'm like a different person I feel some sensation Do you want to move? I like it.

It's terrible. It's truly terrible. It's not terrible. She's fine. I'm gonna give her 10 minutes. You're weird that your hair bloke is kind of wig. Are you worried about it flying off? What the fuck man?

I've never heard of anybody. This fan is fucking right. You're happy? Are you happy? Yeah fucking right. Well, you're happy? Are you happy? Yeah. Okay, great. Are you happy? Yeah.

Let's talk about your mom. Yeah, so my mom happened to be in Key West. This, for the first time in like 10 years and was there this past weekend, I see Bob is there. I call out my mom. I said, you should go and see Bobbi's and she's in town. And she goes, well, we were going to go to a drag show. But if you think, if you think,

if you think Bobby's show is great, I'll go see it so I call Bobby, I go, Bobby, my mom's in town she goes, eh, don't tell her not to come immediately. And so I was like, all right, I was like, go anyway, if you want. And then what, what is that? Your mic's a little hot.

Oh, oh, oh. They didn't turn your mic up. Your mic is hot, my mic is low little hot. Oh, oh, oh, they didn't turn your mic on. Your mic is hot. My mic is low. I'm just figuring it out now. And so it's a little hot. Yeah, COVID. And so I told her to get tickets.

Yeah. And she was like, we're going to go scope it out. So she went there. She went to the bar. It was whatever the 830 show. She was there at 8 o'clock. She said there was only two people at the bar. Yeah.

Not looking good. And I was like, it's going to fill in yesterday. She said there was only two people at the bar, not looking good. And I was like, it's gonna fill in yesterday, sold out. And she's like, all right, we'll go in, we'll have a drink, and then we'll buy tickets. So they went in, they had a drink, and then they went over to buy tickets once people started filing in. And they were like, no, it's sold out.

It's been sold out. And so then they just had to leave, and they went to a drag show instead. Yeah. That was it. Maybe if you come back in 45 minutes, you might be able to stand and it was just like, you know, what are we going to do?

Look, I would have got your mom tickets. And I would have to carry your mom absolutely. I just, I didn't. But you didn't. I didn't understand. Can I finish this fucking sentence? Worst audience member, fucking ever audience? What a fucking new wonder why I don't like your face.

I love you, I love you. I love you. or fucking ever audience. What a fucking new wonder why I don't like your face. I love you, I love you. I love you. I don't know what's happening. Listen, dude, I would have done it, but I didn't know these people. I don't understand these people. So I don't know if they're twat with the tickets

or whatever, if it was a club I know, hey, Bobby, fine. But it's like, yeah, I you, I had to get Mike in. I wanted the shows and there was sold out. We had a squeezing and I was like, oh, can we do it again? And I was just like, I don't like dealing with that. If she came down, I would have probably fucking wiped it out for if she did. But I don't like dealing with other people's shit

when I'm on, when I'm somewhere, especially with my wife and kid, my anxiety levels go through the fucking roof. Sure. And then my mooks call on me and I'm like, okay, ugh, I'm gonna deal with his family now. I'm dealing with my family. I didn't call you and be like,

they're waiting outside, can you get a man? I didn't do any of that. Once I was like, so that I was like, I'll go do something else. I wasn't like, Bobby, please make this happen. Well, that's the unfunny version. We could have went with the funny version of me being desperate begging to get you in

and then not knowing how the right protocols will be the headline or alone. My mom is your biggest fan. It's between, she chose you over drag. Yeah. He was dragged too, by the way, which is like, primo drag. It's not, what do you mean?

I saw it. It looked like my uncle. Okay. It's hot, the makeup runs. It's not, it's, that's what I'm telling you was, I was disappointed. That's sad. With the drag.

Did you saw it? You went to a show. No, I went by the front of the door. Oh, well, then did you see a drag queen? That's like, I mean, I, I mean, I, I mean, look at a mirror, I see a see a drag queen? That's like, I mean, I mean, I mean, I look at a mirror. I see a an old queen You see a queen looking back and I can do it

You can sacrifice just sacro Whoa anyways, what what was that song from a musical? Yeah, dude, it was I feel bad that your mother, but is your mother hot? I think she's a good looking... Is she married? Yeah, she's reengaged. She's not getting remarried.

She's got the ring, she doesn't need anything else. All right, cool. I got that. Nice. Yeah, she said, where's he gonna go? Oh, yeah. Is that your mom? No.

Yeah. That's the drag queens in QS. Yeah, dude. That's rough. Yeah, I mean? No. Yeah. That's the drag queens in the QS. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah, I mean, look, it's hot down there. What are you gonna do? A lot of salty food. You know, I mean, that's the one thing down there. Every talk about the food, the food, the food.

Good seafood. It's the same fucking food. They, wherever you go, you know, it's the same. The catcher the day is the same thing. The tramp, Piawini tramp. There's a couple restaurants we went to that were actually great, but it was an hour way to get in, which is a little annoying, you know, whatever,

but you gotta do it when you bring the kids, you know, it's like, what are we doing for breakfast? Where are we going for lunch? Where are we going for dinner? Yeah. A lot of those places probably don't take reservations because they're like, they can just fucking wake. Now, they, and the, it was,

there were people down there who root too. Really? Oh yeah, because they have nine jobs. And they're there to fucking get shit faced and go into a pool later. And fuck, fuck each other in a hotel room, you know, in an apartment. Yeah.

They're like, yeah, let's go. They don't give, You go to sloppy Joe's. Now, I would never place this such a fucking tourist trap. Yeah, I didn't go to any of that shit. I don't really do touristy shit. I've never been to the Statue of Liberty.

I've lived here for 25 years. I've never been to the Empire State Building. Really? I never done those things either. Yeah, that's your Liberty I never went to. They closed it. You used to be able to go to the top. Then you could only go to the feet.

Yeah, back when the fucking X-Men, the original movie was on, you go to the fucking top. You were talking about going to the top. I haven't to like the feet. Yeah, back when the fucking X-Men, the original movie was on, you go to fucking top. Yeah, you talk about the top. And I haven't gotten to the top. Yeah, anyways, yeah, it was shitty. It was nice. It was, I liked the club was a fucking amazing. You'll go back?

Absolutely. I go back to this in two seconds, and I'll bring my family to, because we found out, I found my rhythm. First thing I gotta do is rank a golf cart. You can't walk, you gotta, my wife, we can walk, it's only five minutes for you. For me, I'm gonna look like I just jumped into a pool

when I get there. And then it's gonna take me fucking 30 minutes to cool my engines down. And then we gotta walk back. And then I go to the show and I'm my titsa wet. And I'm on the stage, you look like I fucking, I'm milking. How many people did it sit? It seemed like it's a small spot.

I don't know. I don't know. I think, I don't know if they can see more. It was packed out though. Like, they put more people than I think they were supposed to because it was wall-to-wall. Sure. When I go on stage, it was fucking wall-to-wall. And the go down today, it was fucking wall the wall.

And the club, everybody, great, crowds, fucking amazing. No drunk. Nobody was drunk. And I think it's because the people that want to get drunk, go and get drunk, the people that want to do something else that night. Yeah. And then go get drunk,

come to the comedy show. And there's no comedy on the island, except for these group of comics and these couple of other people that are doing it. And they really got it down. It's what a vacation trip that is. If you wanna go as a comic, make a little money and have like three days of fucking fun,

I wanna drink with Tom. What's that? I wanna drink with Tom. Tom's a great guy. Tom's a, he's one of those alcoholics. He's like, yeah, he's just kinda got it, dude. You like to drink with Tom. Me too. Tom's a great guy. He's one of those alcoholics. He's just like, yeah, you just kind of get, dude. You like to drink? Fuck it.

The sweetest guy I ever met. Fucking great guy. Funny as shit. And I really like his girlfriend so much. I told him I was like, dude, I'll fucking watch. Whoa. I'll watch from a closet. I will.

I'll just sit there quietly in your little closet and I'll watch. She's so fucking pretty. What do you say? Um, he was like, please stop talking about my girlfriend. She's right here. He goes, yeah, dude, I did it.

She's, she's hot. And she was like, thank you. That's so very sweet. She's so sweet. Why don't you talk like that? No, it was her. Oh, I was doing drug characters. At once.

Yeah, I'm all, I did Tom and then I did her. Did you have some key line pie when you were down there? He takes them about key line. Whoa. You can just some key lime pie when you were down there? Can take some about key lime. Whoa. You can just take key lime pie and fucking toss it in the ocean. It's fucking, it's like a lime with sand. So it's like a, I'd rather lick a flip flop. It's disgusting.

Kila, I took one bite out of it, I was like, boo, get away from me. Really, it's a delicacy down there. It's stupid, it's a tourist trap. I did. I'll get to my uncle's key lime pie. Your uncle has his own key lime pie. Your uncle's key lime pie is not better than the key lime pie in Key West. He lives in Key Largo, so he is a key. Oh, fuck. I didn't know there's another key.

So she's a captain. Yeah, he's a captain. He's a captain. He's a boat cap of a ship. Of a boat. Yeah. Yeah. Can you, I'm gonna fucking call Jared right now. I hate Jared free. Yeah, where is he? Is he okay? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. We gotta get the energy. I hope Wow, he just iced you. Yeah, he's toast Didn't you say I hope you fell down the stairs and Snap your neck and after the podcast we all have to step over your corpse To get to get to the seller. That's what I hope fuck you Jared Are we not good enough for you? No, you're great, and I hope nothing bad happened

He had to do a spot you said he had to do a spot, but not until maybe he had to go do spot That's why he raised his phone and said, let me take it back. Can I do a spot? Yeah, that's why I waited to have to use the voice mode. I'll tell you that. Hey Jared, I apologize. We can't wait to hear great. Hello. I apologize. Hey Jared, I apologize for that message. That was rather mean. I hope you okay. But, oh, there you go. What are you gonna do?

Yeah, so Key West was great and bad. The things that I thought were gonna be great, really weren't that fucking great. And the things that I didn't think I'm gonna be that great, were fucking awesome. But you have to get a golf cart, you have to get a stupid hat. Like, you got those in spades.

Oh, I got a good one too. What do you mean a stupid hat? You gotta get it. I'm getting a stupid hat. Like you got those in spades. What do you mean a stupid hat? I'm getting a custom hat. Like a big floppy hat. You got to get a tie with a ribbon. No, I don't want a ribbon. You're getting a ribbon. You're getting a ribbon. A hat ribbon.

That hat is meant for a ribbon. Stop just saying things. You just say shit. It's a podcast. I know, but it's going to be a funny one. I just talk into the mic. You can't just say things. You have to say, I mean, your head with a ribbon is funny.

It's not funny. Someone photoshopped Bobby's head with a ribbon on it. That's me. Look at the sandy edge. There's not enough. That's Graham Cracker. It's garbage. It's garbage.

And it's not Graham Cracker. It's not like a's garbage. It's garbage and it's not Graham Cracker. It's not like a Graham Cracker crush. No, it's not. It's disgusting. I hate that. It's literally making me hungry. Just looking at that. I just want it.

I'm starving. It's terrible. It's all about the key limes. You have to have the right, the key limes are actually very tiny versus normal size. Who the fuck is Limes? What do you mean? You know, just a lot of lime? A lot of people. I mean, name people who eat these lines.

Every Spanish person in a restaurant I've ever worked with, eats, limes and lemons. Yeah, and they're from another country. What American eat? Oh, okay, that's a different question. I guess the Spanish American ones. Yeah, you fucking hipster. I don't.

I'm just saying, you eat that lime on top of that. Have you put that lime on my, with the slice of the pie? Yeah. And the lime on top of it, I'm gonna eat around the lime. Of course you are. Yeah. Cause you're an American. Who is an Italian?

I get a hard right turn. Oh God, I fucking hate KeeLine pie steaks. And I hate that they push it on you. And it's such, it's such a, it's such it. It's a tour, it's such a fuck you. You dumb tourist eats so expensive. So expensive. I would rather have a cookie. I'd rather have a cookie.

Any, the chocolate chip cookie, any day, any day. Oh, cheesecake. Cheesecake stinks too, but I take cheesecake. Oh, I want a lot of cheesecakes. I would take my favorite. I would say, I think a ricotta pie,

which is close to cheesecake, but way better regatta pie Over cheesecake cheesecake over fucking key lime horse shit. Yeah, I thought it was for go to all right So switch over here. He's over there Regatta it's not regota regota you're in you drop the a regota That's not regota It's not your Irish you don't even know I'm married to an Italian Jared sit over here. we switched the fan issue.

The fan was freaking her out and my lining. Reminding her of fucking something that happened with her uncle. She was a little kid. Oh God, here we go. There was terror. Yeah, well you're alive on the air before you say something crazy.

I wouldn't say anything crazy. I just wanted to wish you a good look with your new podcast and me and back in studio, even though I was there first, but I, you know, I'm glad that you got you. What do you have a bunch of comics up there tonight? We have Jared Fried who literally has the attention span of a third and a little fucking influencer. I'm here. I know, but he goes. He's on his phone. I had a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he left you two very different voicemails. I did. Do we play them? We already heard them.

Yeah, we're in it. We got MOOC Fini. We got Natalie Portman. Portman? No. Cuomo, Governor Cuomo. Cuomo. And we have Gabby's here and Mooshhies over there uh... yeah well uh... you know you have you have an all-star cast i mean first of all the fact that uh... charred free since he's too important to do anything

i would fucking you know what if it wasn't for a dumb fucking podcast he'd be a bringer i swear to god he he be a bringer. I swear to God. He'd be a bringer. Yeah. I'm a fan of his though because he's a Jew and I'm happy about that. Yeah. Gabby had Gabby in the last year has gone from from bringer to bringer. You know, what bringer? Natalie will not fight me uh... you know what i'm doing well not only well enough i've met her a couple times and what was the other person mookie no mic mic feena you know mic feena

uh... mic feena now does he have his is must-have for a reason uh... uh... uh... my social media yes uh...

i like to know my staff thank you rick thank you bobby doesn't like it. Now, now my now my thing has something for real to put on his bio. Rick Voss likes my mustache. I'll take the endora. Listen, this call is going nowhere. I'm just depressed and lonely. I want to leave a little jarred takeover. I'm sorry, Mike, Jared take over. I'm sorry Mike, you take over. That's just, that's what he had in his head

when I said that by the way. Really? My Jared, not me. I hadn't gotten there yet, but it was tough. Now, when you were all depressed, you went to wear home depot, where? No, no, I mean, you were. I think at home, because I went to Dave Chappelle's comics ball last night.

Yeah. At, uh, how was your speech? It was. And, uh, Jared said, how was your speech? I had to go. I know. Let me tell you, I feel like I'm so fucking, I feel like a chaperone there. Why?

What the fuck? How many people are there? There's just in the middle of Florida dancing, having a good time. I'm just some fucking old fucking standing there going, why am I here? You know, I need even though I know, you know, I mean, that's what everyone else was thinking. Yeah. But that's what everybody else was thinking. Yes.

Yes. Were you there? I didn't go. Did you get invited? I got the invite. I had to do my podcast. I got to yell at the bachelor. I got to work to do. Did you get invited? I got the invite. I had to do my podcast. I got to yell at the bachelor. I got to work to do.

Did you get invited? You have to respond to an email in time. What does that mean? There's an RSVP email. You could send, just go. I'm going to come plus one. I saw Rich there. Yeah, you went.

Yeah. She, you saw Natalie there. Oh, are you talking to me? I got to go. I need to go. Goodbye. Are you a trucker? No, you were talking to me. Yes, are you talking to me? I gotta go. I need to go. Goodbye. Well, you were talking out, you were talking to me. Yes, I'm talking to you. I saw Natalie there, she was dressed up like amazing. She looked amazing.

I mean, that's what I'm saying. These people that went there, you know, the waitress just from the stand show up and they're dressed like, like they knock out outfits, you know the waiters just from the stand show up and they're dressed like fucking knockout outfits you know and uh whatever. Listen, boy this is not hangout. The longer he goes the creepier it gets, he's like it's like hearing my dad talk about TikTok. You know what I like about the algorithm is the butts that get directly to my screen and you're like okay get out of here.

Yeah dude you're really I, I'm trying to fuck. I love you, dude, but you fucking just talking like, what do you mean? I'm, I say, what the fuck you, listen, I don't like doing call insending out. You know, I'm calling because I'm fucking bored and I'm going to go home and just end up getting in some kind of fight. So I'm going to have like a nice fun conversation before I go into the house and get told what I'm getting in some kind of fight. So I'm gonna have like a nice fun conversation before I go into the house and get told what I'm doing wrong. All right, well, I'm telling you what you're doing wrong now

is going to the comedian's ball. Yeah, going to the comedian's ball. Yeah, well, how is it? We should do our own ball. Let's do our own ball. Yeah, we'll do our own ball. We'll do it at the village underground. We'll play all these. We'll get a lipitor ball. Yeah, we'll do our own ball. We'll do it at the village underground. We'll play all these

Lipitor ball. Yeah Yeah, we'll have wealthy food healthy choices. We'll have a massage. I'm a suit. Who's gonna what? Who's gonna build who's gonna build the ramp for the comics to come in on? I do not talk to you like I do not talk to you later. I'm going to have to be in the place. Yeah, I'm going to put it over the fuck right now. Goodbye. Oh, my God. Man, that like ruined my day a little.

She's a little bone chill. What was this ball? Chappelle, that a ball. What was this ball? Chappelle that a ball. What is a ball? Or a gala really? What is it? I don't even know if I could say what it is. I just saw the flyer and it was like RSVP and you would have gotten you know. I would never have gotten ever in your life. I would have never. I don't live. I don't, here's a problem with me. I don't like those things. I don't I don't the here's a problem with me. I don't like those things. I don't want to problem with you. You can not like it like. Like, hey, I hope every just the laughs, right? You know, they sure

everybody goes to the circle bar. Yeah. You know what I do? I go into a lobby with a little chairs are. Yeah. And I go to pizza. Okay. And then everybody comes to me. Yeah, that is a problem. What a great. I don't I don't like going to the industry is like who what it was The front door. No, they're not actually they come to fuck over to me and they're like what do you know that we don't they're like what do you got pizza? Mm-hmm I remember that when I did that with Ann Harris Everybody's in that dumb circle bar jerking each other off. We ordered pizza's man Yeah, and we got a vegetable pizza for the people we don't like.

Okay. Oh, it was disgusting. Got a sparrows on the hood. And I remember who was it? Who's Doug Benson came over with a smoking hot chick, drunk out of her mind. Whoa. And I'm talking every the head of just for laugh,

everybody came over. Yeah, hanging with us. We had a big pizza party. You zig while everyone else zag. I did a pizza party fucking thing right in the lobby. We having a good time, then that chicken moment. She's a conniving piece of pizza. We were like, yeah, right there.

She took out a veggie slice dude. She had a piece of asparagus hanging out of her mouth. And then she was like, I want another piece and she went for another piece and she tripped, literally shot her body across the fucking lobby. Oh my God. Smash the head into a marble fireplace. Oh my God.

Oh no, she okay, right? Everybody was like, oh my God, and she sat up, she went, I'm all right, and this blood dripped down. No. Oh my God. I was crazy. And then you saw Doug just, for fucking use gone. Yeah, yeah.

You went to his room, you just left you on the hallway. Oh my God. Yeah, it was fucking funny. And they had to take her home and a cab. It was fucking hilarious. Oh my God. Chris on the chat wants to know how much food did boss take from the ball?

See, this feels like it was a foodless event. It probably was no food. There's no banily was there. What was it food? There was food later on. What kind of food? I left before the food. Why?

Because I can't, I don't like. I don't like. I'm here hitting your hair and you're saying. The hair, the hair was hitting my hair strangely. I can't, I'm not like a party person. Really, you look like a fucking party girl. I'm not, I'm the person that does not party. I don't like it either.

I just don't like loud places. I don't like disconnection. I want to, what I'm with somebody, I like to connect to somebody. What was the food? I mean, how can you leave, I gotta know. You're right. It was catered by Tao, I think.

So Tao comes in with all the Tao food. I don't know, I don't know the exact food. Yes, Tao food. I guess Tao would be, I guess it's some chasian, fusion, yeah. Why, why? Let me ask you question, because you're not, you have Chabinu. Sure. You you're not, you have chub in you.

Sure. You have the ability, you have the ability to become a fatty. Sure. And you're fighting it. Yeah. You're really battling it every day of your life. And you're doing a good job.

Thank you. Because I've known you for a long time now. Of course. And I haven't seen you rise. Sure. Like I thought I would. I would have thought, especially here in COVID, I thought, well, you're going to come back.

You'll be a little fat Jewish guy. Of course. Hey, Bob. Took the real turn. Yeah, who's that guy? Like me, right? Yeah, take a turn, right? Yeah.

And you haven't. So, but you are a foodie. Love, I mean, listen, I, that's, I, everything's about food. But during COVID, I got a trainer and I started talking with like a nutritionist. I was like, I can see just what you're seeing. I was like, I can see just what you're seeing. I was like, I can see this going the wrong way. Because I like going to the gym and having like a structure was important.

So I ended up getting in touch with this dude and he's been like, we go on FaceTime. It's the best thing. You go on gym on FaceTime? Yeah. Every day. In your gym? No, outside. I go in a field.

Nothing. No way. I blow him every day. your gym? No, outside. I go in a field, nothing. No weights, no, no, I'm not. I'm a field. I blow him every day. On FaceTime. On FaceTime. Oh my God, this is a great picture. I'm looking at this.

Yeah, this is a great picture. What are you doing without any weights or anything? You're just running? It is all body weight stuff. Sometimes he sent me bands. That was the only thing he sent me. That's what I used bands. I used bands.

I did my Less City Challenge. I did a Less City Challenge. I did bands. I lost, I did my less city challenge, 30 less city challenge, I did bands. I lost so much weight that way. Dude, it's all resistance with your body and the bands. It's all pretty. It does that. I just don't have a need to lift a 50,

what do I need that for? I just want to, my whole thing was just feel good in a t-shirt. I want to get t-shirt skinny. I like that. Yeah, I train with an old Asian man. We just do those slow moves out in the park. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get sundress skinny. Sundress. Yeah. Feel good in a sundress. Oh my god. Wouldn't that be beautiful? I would love to see

your body in a sundress. I would love to wear one. It is not only is a sundress the sexiest thing in the world. Me on a woman. If I see a girl on a sundress, I am fucking done. This is a very Boston area conversation. Why is that? Boston has this thing, it's like sudden dress day. Like when that first out of the thought, nice weather day, where you're like, oh, is it, you know, the marathon might be happening.

That's like a very like, it's a very big thing, I think, there Like this is how people think because they like sundress is surprising after a long winter. Sundress though show so much yet so little. You have to have a certain amount. It depends on where you are on the scale to put whether it to something like if you wore a sundress now it'd be a moomo, right? But then you'd want to get it into where you're, me a cop. Oh no. Moomo is like a dress, you know, for people that aren't, you know, old gypsies, he just called you an old gypsy.

Well, you'll see what I'm saying. It's kind of a compliment. What is your question? I feel like it was more of a dig. I feel like a, I don't really have a point. I just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, not yours. Slow down. I don't want you to get frustrated, he's trying. He's working. He's working, getting mush sundresses. Yeah, he's trying right now.

Just hang on, it's gonna look him up. Bobby, I'd love to see you pose like that. That's not sundress. That's no. No, that's a dress. Stuff. That's a plain dress. Yeah, it's sundress.

Type in paisley sundress. Yeah, paisley sundress, tell him how to spell that. PAIS, now he wants. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I'm kidding. I'll try on with you, yeah, paisley sundress. Tell them how to spell it. It's like a see-through material. You get a little side boob going, right? A lot of girls don't wear underwear in the summer. And then they walk over a steam grate, it goes up, and they go, woohoo.

I don't even rush. What have you ever seen that? There you go, mush. That's a sundress. You like that. Oh, man. I don't think I can pull off a sundress. I think people would say, are you going to church? There you go, mush. That's a sundress. You like that.

Oh, man. I don't think I can pull off a sundress. I think you would say are you going to church? Yeah, but I like the straps. I don't like that little thing up the top. That's a little, that's a little, that's a little tank top. I like a little strap.

You like that? Yes, I like the strap sundress. I like a strap. I like a strap. Well, not that one, but it's close to one we're gonna get on this podcast. Okay. We're gonna do this for fucking Tim.

I'm trying to curve my anger issues, so I try to just accept life on life's term. Nope. Nope. He was circling this trap though. Momo. Yeah. And then we're done.

Rich Vos texted me, I stink bombing in front of Sweeney. And it's Sweeney and F feed is the lowest point of my career. Tell Gabby she's not a bringer. Okay, XOXO. He apologized to me. Oh, not really. Swini and free. The lowest point of his career was walking around

the comedian's ball last night doing the same joke to everybody he walked by as he walked by them. That was the lowest point. Him repeating one line that worked. Yeah, but you would know what last night. Would you? No. If you would know when last night, would you? No. If it wasn't a Monday night, like I had things going on.

So I was like, if it was like, if it was like later in the week and I had nothing going on, I would have gone. But you went, but like if I'm not fucking formally invited to something, I don't go. Yeah, explain this when the cloud was shippled. I need, I need, I don't need Chappelle, but I need somebody go. Yeah, it's playing this with the cloud with the shipwreck. I need, I need, I don't need, I don't need Chappelle, but I need somebody from that,

to, I know, like, camp, like, somebody to go, hey, we would like Bobby to come. Interesting. For me to be like, I might go. That makes sense. But for me to leave, listen, my family is, I mean, to go to, come down from Westchester to much. Look at, I actually like it.

Like, tonight I came down and I and as soon as I hit the city, I'm like, I'm fucking back. Because I've been doing this for 25 years. For eight years, I've been coming to the city from Westchester. It's not a big deal to me. And now it was, initially after the pandemic, like, I'm gonna leave.

And now, like, I've been doing it. I'm like, fuck it. As soon as I hit the streets, I'm back. I wanna go everywhere. I wanna stay all night. I wanna fucking hang out. It's just in me, I'm back. I want to go everywhere. I want to stay all night. I want to fucking hang out. It's just in me, right? But that wouldn't be a problem.

But I can't go somewhere because I just feel like I went, I did this one time with fucking Neil Brennan of all people. You know, I went to a movie thing with somebody. You know, you just do, just come. You can come and I went and he literally went, what are you doing here? And I had to take everything I've learned in sobriety and to not jump across this fucking group of people.

Don't you think he's doing that because that's what he feels people think about him? No, don't you like it's a self-help fence? You doing here or what are you doing here? It was vents? What are you doing here? Or what are you doing here? It was a, what are you doing here? Like confused. Well, why would someone say that to you? Like that's so rude.

Because it's Neil Brennan, have you met him? He's, no, he, but look at, he's like, this is my movie premiere. Oh, it was his movie. It was his movie. Okay. That's more, that's more hurtful when it's his movie. He came to support him and you're like,

hey, I'm here to hang. Yeah, but I wasn't. What are you doing here? Yeah, it's like his part. You know, that's dark. Yeah, that's mean. That's strange. Yeah, but it's it's perfect.

Of course, it's not out of his ballpark. Not saying it is. I wasn't mean I wouldn't. Yeah, if you did that, I wouldn't hold it again. What are you doing here? Yeah. There's a, when it's your premiere and you say, what are you doing here?

It's as if you're getting kicked out of the party. If it wasn't his premiere, I would go, him saying, what are you doing here is more like, what are you do, like it's him being judgmental, like, oh, I'm Hollywood and you're not. That would be mean too. Well, whatever it was, it made me want to rip out as traki, like the Ruber.

I wanted to trake rip. Yeah, I want to do some throat rips. Was there a comeback of any kind? No, the rage took over my jaw. Yeah. And I was gonna smash my teeth and spit them in his eye. So I had to.

Your mid teeth smash and he was like on his way shaking hands with that emergency. Yeah, it was just one of those moments where I should have now, I would have been like, go fuck yourself, you cock, Sacka. And I would have walked out, and my whoever I was with, I'd be like, I told you I shouldn't have fucking come. And I should have yelled at that fuck face too,

for telling me to come, because people do that, just come. Yeah, no, and the hate would be. But they're doing another goodness, I just imagine Bobby and I would be like, No, they're not. The jerk's store called the runner at you. They're not doing it out of the goodness. You don't think they're inviting you

because they don't want you to they want you around. No, they want you to just fucking go because they don't want to be low. They don't want you. So they're looking for someone lower on the totem pole to get Neil Brennan's wrath. Yes. I don't believe that.

Oh, no, no. No, I don't believe that. I do think it's a thing where comics don't have are codependent and don't want to be alone. That's fair. So they're like, I don't want to be, I don't know if I'll know anybody there. So once you come with me, and if I do know people,

I'll fucking abandon you. I'll let you go. Right, right, right. So fucking lonely. Yeah. And that's what that was. It should have been a double fuck you. I don't know, was that faked?

It was that car movie he directed about what? Cars? He directed cars. It was about a car got in 60 seconds car love bug drive I hate everybody you're a fast and furious I'm all out the premiere of his new chase sapphire the union You sure you're not an actress. Uh-huh. Man, I threw it in the air. You could have swung it. Just let it.

No, I'm good. People are people. Of everybody has people. People are people. I couldn't think of a car in movie. I'll try, asshole. You're a comedian. Herbie.

Take that one. Herbie. Okay, thank you. Herbie. Would you punch it up or shit? Gabby's my writer. Um, my mother goes right in. You're done.

How's it going to be coming after us? Yeah, dude, I just, I should've said fuck you, fuck you. I just like, yeah, I go fuck yourself and the hell I'm out and just walked away. You know, I didn't really take it. No, the way to go is to go more serious, to really make him go, do you not want me here? Because then he's got to, then he's got to answer to.

Okay, I love acting these up. Yeah, I'll be him. You'll be the guy, you'll be the other people. You're me. I'm ready. So you're already mailing about, no, you're coming up to me. Hey man, we're here for the movie.

Like you're with him. Bobby, so glad you came out after. No, no, he's not. That's not, who's Neil? He's Neil. Who are you? I'm Bobby. Oh, I'm the director. I want to to stop. Oh the goods the goods. Oh the new

Jeremy Pivenvier you could be Jeremy P. You directed this? Do not do not wow that was close. Oh was close. Let's go. Oh my Jeremy Piffin now? No, you are fucking you. Me? Stop being a con just go. Wow, I'm so excited to see the good. Thank you so much. You directed this? This is gonna be great.

This is gonna change your whole career. What are you doing here? Oh, what should I not be here? No, I'm just, I didn't, how did you get invited? Well, you know, our mutual friend said that I should come along. They had the invite and they said, why don't you show up? And I, you know, I'm actually, we've known each other a lot of years. I'm so excited

for you in your new movie. I figured I would just come over and say, what's up? Really happy for you. Okay. All right. All right. Cool. Thanks. You don't want me here? Is there a limit? You had me. You went too far right there. Why? Is there a limit? Is there a space issue that I can't be here? Actually, there is a space issue. Yeah, there's a space issue. Well, I know about that. There are fire codes to keep up with

and you're worried that one of your flusies that you invited off the street can't get in. That's my sister and that's my aunt. We love the movie. Yeah, I just want to say for the record, I didn't know about the space issue and I just kind of didn't want to be alone, but I do think Bobby's very funny. Do you have a part for me in your next movie? No,

I don't. Wow. See, I think this puts him in a position to be the most evil person alive where he's just meaty, you know, like you're weaponizing. Yes, yes. I liked that. I like that, Jared. And I like that your true colors came out and that's an area to totally ditch you. Oh, he would ditch it a second. He would find the one that gets ditched. He would let him do the ditch.

What does that mean? It's not what your finger too must have for it. I would love ditching the ditch. But I'm the one that gets ditched. I would love to ditch, but I don't ditch. Is Fluzies in a, a mean term? Is that? Yeah, like, Flusies is very really. Yeah, like drunk barflies. God, can we cut that out? No. No, I was so old that you weren't you, you were me. Okay. So I said it. Yeah.

Listen, people got in trouble for a car. I would call these gores Flusie. Anyway, shit. My career's done. Fucking would call these gores fluszy. And in the end of the week, I'm like, oh shit, my career's done. Fucking cancel me, please. Get me some heat. All right, relax, I'm tied to you. Don't get canceled because I'll... The patron would grow. The patron would grow.

Yeah. Yeah. That all attacked me, so don't get canceled. True colors. Nobody, nothing, my career's not affecting your career. Good or bad? When are you gonna- Definitely bad. Is it bad? What? Do you think my career affects not affecting your career good or bad one are you gonna definitely bad? Yeah, is it bad?

What do you think my career affects you badly? No? Hey, you can't have a new you can't have a conversation. I can't get a good read. No, you can't she's yeah She yes, I haven't decided yet, so I'm going both sides just see her eyes I hope you decided does you fucking leave listen take that family to your only one I was a girl one man. That was a good way to get out of the boss later. I love it. Flash forward where Gab is movie, premiere, a year from now. What are you doing? Yeah.

Please don't do that. Yeah. Because I'm going to do this thing with a, why you don't want me here? Yeah. Why is that? Is there any scene? Oh my god. That's so mean. What's wrong with you? why you don't want me here? Yeah. Why is that? I don't know. Is there any scenes in the scene? Oh my God, this thing. You were always so mean. What's wrong with you? Why would you not want me here? Look at you.

What are you talking about? Oh, my physical, you know. Physical, you know, like canceled. You don't like pet people? I know what you're flusy ass here. Oh my God, you're calling me in front of my son, Max? I'm gonna say. You brought Max?

Yes. Oh my God. This feels like a terrible 101 acting class. I think the whole scene being repeated over and over. You don't like her acting? Yeah. You want us to leave? What are we doing? You're doing it.

That's it. I guess you're right. But here's the thing, if I went last night, my biggest fear is that you're probably, like, yeah, man, where are you here? Why are you here, man? Oh, I can't do it actually're probably, yeah, man, why are you here? Why are you here, man? I can't do it. Why would he say that, though? I don't know. Why would I went, I didn't know Neil was going to say it. It's crazy. I mean, you just kind of go into these things as a human

being. It hurts more that it's his movie. Yeah, I do agree with you. It hurts way more than it's his move. That is like that is actually unheard of. Yeah. So mean. It's very for him to be at his own movie premiere. Find the one person who isn't and invited supposedly and go, what are you doing here? Like it's like, no, I don't say about it. Yeah, no. But you know the list. Do you remember saying this to you? I tell them up. Call him in the brush. Yeah. I don't have his fucking number. Why would I have his number? He fucking... You didn't even invite you to his premiere.

Yeah. Why would I go in an Instagram story where you talk about it? He'll see it. I know he would do this. He would uncross his leg. He'd be like, whatever. He would just like to give a shit. So that's problem with those parties or that they're always...

What I always realize when it's a bunch of comics It's just comics moving from one group to one another all saying how that and we all oh so much so so anxiety so many people here This is so weird. All right, and then everyone goes to the next circle being like isn't this so many people I'm freaking out I gotta get out of here like it's just everyone saying the same conversation. Was that Mark Norman? No, no He just he just comes in and goes and then walks away and everyone's like, yay. I'm gonna smoke a hot chick. Yeah. Oh, he's got a little bit of a hair. I'm trying to be careful with it, say. Meg here in Deli, that please. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't really

fare well. I would rather any party I go to. I went to a big party, I don't know if I talked about this on the show before. I went to a party with Dane once and we went in and it was literally Dustin Hoffman walk by. And then Forrest Whitaker was like, hey, how you doing? Marky Mark walked out and bumped into me. I was like, hey, what's up, dude? I know your brother.

He's like, oh, Tom, I said hi. Whatever his voice is. Wow. I mean, Mickey Rook was there. I mean, dude, everybody was, who was anybody? Who's at this party? And I just found a little corner. Sure, order drinks. Ordered beer.

Ordered beer. Yeah. That should be for the floor. I got a little corner. I got a little snacky poo. Yeah. And I sat there and I grabbed one person and I fucking connected.

And I just engaged. Who was that one person? I'm like a door guy. It's like the least Hollywood. Yeah, I'm so awful. I have to get back to moving these cars. He's holding a bunch of keys. Sir, it was Drew Barrymore.

No, it wasn't. Yeah, it was Drew Barrymore. Shut the fuck up. I swear to God. And I engaged. And I just went, boom, boom, started talking. And then Dane was with me. He came over. We all started talking. And Dane was with me. He came over we all started talking and

All of a sudden people started coming to us because you were having a real conversation and not the people magnet. Oh my god. It's so weird here. And I do that in other places like Montreal I will always go up to that bar and I will I will make a pass because I love I really do like a most of those people And then I will somebody will go Bob and I'll be like, dude, fuck it, let's go. Yeah. And we'll find a place and we'll go talk. That's why I love cigars. You cigar, grab a cigar with somebody

and you sit there and you just, yeah, thanks so bad. Yeah, so does salmon. It does. It's still eating for breakfast. I'm cooking salmon in my car. Yeah, but yeah, the breakfast. And the problem with these comedy parties

is it feels like a lot of times it is a it has to become this business Opportunity, you know like count comics can't just hang are you leaving again? Okay, bye Somebody spots is a you know, and I mean you everybody has to do this like you know They're talking to you, but they're looking over your shoulder to see if there's somebody more famous behind you or if there's somebody an agent or someone like that that they're like, oh yeah, tell me about why can't we do that. We're like, hold on, hold on, hold on.

And then they're like, hey. I'm literally doing that while you're talking. I know, I'm trying to wish somebody, I wish I could have come out. For somebody, please somebody. No, I hear you, that is true. There's a caste system. Well, I actually know somebody who said that they do that.

They just admitted to it. And I kinda respected that a little bit with the only guy I'm looking for somebody. Sorry, I'm totally, somebody way better than you is right there. I'm gonna go talk to them. And I was like, I kinda respect that. Yeah, because you're admitting.

That's less. Well, look, I don't fucking mind it anymore when I was younger and I had so much respect issues and all this bullshit. Right. Now I kinda know who I it anymore when I was younger and I had so much respect issues and all this bullshit. Now I kinda know who I am and what I am and I'm happy with it. So I don't, it doesn't bother me, but if you look at it, that's what it is.

What do you think? It's just amazing room with these people that you're like, oh my God, oh my God, holy shit, what the fuck? And you could literally go up and become friends with them. And they could put you in something in a year. Oh wait, those things happen all the fucking time. It's not like a fantasy. But that's the problem.

It's because it happens, it puts more pressure on everybody to have to be like, all right, there's, there's, there's Dane, I have to fucking go over, say something short, memorable, make sure sure I don't it doesn't get awkward And get the fuck out of there. I don't I don't I don't do it. I'm so bad at that. I don't do it I don't do it, but I don't I don't despise people anymore who do no I'm very envious of people who are so good at The you are I am not where am I you're here exactly you don't like me I mean this is just this is my clatter't even like me. I mean, this is just,

this is my clatter I'm climbing. What are we talking about? I'm, you know, it's like, what? What the fuck? What do you mean? Yeah, what the fuck? I don't know, I got an offended about that. Not about all the stuff about the podcast.

I'm not, I'm not. We're gonna talk about this for a couple of minutes, but we actually, look at me, it's okay, take that off much. These guys are like fucking pandabairs. You put something in the face to like, uh, it was an alarming event. Sorry, the 55 in screen over your shoulder changed for the first time in the whole episode

to a giant red clock. Yeah, we should just, we thought you were gonna kill at 60 seconds. Mosh, I admire it and I love it, but we can't, we gotta just do it on my phone. Also, yeah, we can also find a regular limit. That was like a stop like a borderline. You know what you're absolutely right. Just put a bomb on the screen. I like watching the reactions. I think it was fun. Yeah, it was fucking crazy. You guys

went, I don't know why. Why were you guys so freaked out? It was a I just had to push down. There was a there was a sinister countdown. I had a problem that it was water marks. There was like, there was a sinister countdown on the TV. I had a problem that it was water marks. There was like, we couldn't even pay for the, what is the image? They should be used to getting the light. Kill us on the cheap. Whoa, you too much.

What the fuck? I do get on stage. Everyone gets the light. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you get off stage. I stopped singing the sentence, please you too. That's how you get off stage.

So relaxed. It's nice. Listen, I love that she's an actress too. But I agree with you. But I think it's some people find it necessary, you know, and it does help. It's very necessary. But it does help to some people smoozing and all that shit helps them. I wish I had the ability to be Hollywood Bob.

Yes. It's definitely hurt me because I'd rather have a real conversation with somebody or not talk to them at all. Agreed. And it has definitely, but it's also brought the people in my life that I really want in my life. You know, all my friends are real friends. And I don't have to feel guilty about a friendship because I'm doing it for something.

And those people do. And those people usually wind up alone. Because when they do get to a certain point, all those people that really gave a fuck about them are fucking like, go fuck yourself. And now you're stuck with people that are like, don't give a fuck about you. And you're alone. You know the way you'd always know, is it any time I go to LA, it's those five words, what are you working on? Whatever you hear that, that's just a person who's like, open your wallet. Let me see if there's anything in there I could take.

Yeah, I'll just go a cabinet. I'm making cabinets now. I'm out in a semi cabinet. A cabinet. Idiot. Anyways, we did an hour, we always do an hour. Hey, everybody, go to a close of on me, mush. Was that an hour? That was an hour, dude. It feels like it was three, right? No, we have. Oh, oh, it felt longer.

Jared was here for how long? Jared was gone twice for 40 minutes at a time. It's only 10 o'clock. I mean, what do you want to tell you? I don't know. Anyways, can you stop interrupting me? Can we do that? Can I get this out? Sure. Thanks. I hate you. Oh, I don't know. Anyways, can you stop interrupting me? Can we do that? Can I get this out? Sure. Thanks. I hate you, man. Oh, so bad. I don't think you'd really hate it. I think you hate it.

You like it, and you're just not willing to admit. I had Lewis to turn on it, and if Lewis doesn't hate it, and Voss doesn't hate it, the Lewis is the, what is Lewis? Lewis hates everything. And everyone looks like an asshole and grows a dumb mustache and wants it a while. This is a better mustache than you do that.

Why did you do it? I had the, I tried to grow, I tried to grow a full beard, it didn't work and then I, I was going to leave, someone was going to come out. We're going to go to our extra Patreon. Shaved it off. All the people that are watching, thank you so much. We're going to do plugs real quick and then we're going to go to the extra Patreon. All this, if you want to see the extra, Jared Freak come back, whatever spots

over. We're going to go a little bit longer right now before we go, and then we're going to go to the Patreon extra. That's for anybody who's part of the Patreon. You get to watch these live, you get to be in the chat room, comment, call people, assholes, be funny, whatever you want to do. Let us know what you're making, and you become a ladybug. And then also, there you go, this is all the fucking,

we have my dates up here. And you also get to get an extra 20 and the culture and Kelly show on Friday and be part of the jerk off party and we're shooting live from the shed with two very special guests coming back. And we're gonna be starting a new podcast called What's in the Box that is coming up very soon.

And another podcast might be happening, which is going to be incredible. So stay a member, if you're a member now, patreon.com, sash, robbercali. If you're watching this on YouTube and you're not a member, go become a member now. Okay, go become a member, join the club. And here we go. And where are you? What do you get to plug there? I am going to be in Tampa at size flitters on July of Feet. I'm really excited. Who are you with? Siphah Sounds. Love Siphah.

I'm excited. Yeah. You're super fun. So, gear, take us to that if you're in Tampa, Florida. And then also, I have a podcast called Thirstrap. It's available on Spotify and U-Tap. I'm almost, what the fuck does Thirstrap? What is that? You know what a Thirstrap is. I don't. What is it on hold. What the fuck does a thirst strap? What is that? You know what a thirst strap is. I don't. What is it? That's what you post a hot little pick.

Why would I say I don't if I do? It's like a sexy photo. Yeah, I don't. Why would I know that? It's a purposefully sexy photo to bring you in. Yes. It's every Kardashian photo. It's every Instagram influencer photo.

Is it the girls that DM me on Instagram that go, hello? Hi. No, no. It's every Kardashian photo. It's every Instagram influencer photo. Is it the girls that DM me on Instagram that go, hello, hi? No, no, no, it's the girl. Those are hookers. It's the, yeah. Are they? Cluesies, perhaps. It's the one of, it's the woman without a shirt holding her boobs, you know what I mean? But you can't see Nipple, but it's like a, you know,

Oh, they're not always that crazy. You could just be on an abathing suit or like just a cute picture. But a thirst trap does imply some level of like, you know, they're not always that crazy. You could just be on an bathing suit or like just a cute picture. But a thirst trap does imply some level of like, even if it's a bikini picture, I feel like it's gonna be like a leaning forward cleave. It's not just like someone sitting on a towel, you know? No, I could be someone sitting on a towel. To find a thirst trap.

Sure, because she's the podcast host of thirst traps. Well, love the podcast, sure. But no, you're apparently the official on that. I wrote thirst trap in their prediction. So you see, I love you being attacked by two thirst traps. Yeah, all right. You're a thirst trap. Me right now. No, on your Instagram, you do some thirst traps. Sure. Yeah, definitely post thirst traps. Right. You do thirst traps. Absolutely. Yes. You do

thirst. I hate the word that mustaches a thirst trap. Yeah, I definitely post thirst traps, right? You do thirst traps. Absolutely. Yes. You do thirst. I hate the word. That mustaches a thirst trap. Yeah. I guess so. Is it making me thirsty? Well, then there also like are things thirsty? Like are they kind of desperate?

That's what we also talk about. So like is it thirsty? Yeah. There's certain things that aren't necessarily on social media. That's very difficult. You got to, you got to toe the line of the thirst trap without being thirsty. Right. It's like, it's bad. Thirsty's bad.

I'm thirsty. You want it right now. Now that means you want it too bad. You don't want that. I do want, of course I want everything. You don't want that. Does your water bottles say gay on it? Yeah.

What happened? He was. The girl down. Like it said something funny. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna lie. Yeah.

Just be tall. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie. Yeah, I'm gonna lie. Yeah, I'm gonna lie. Yeah, I'm gonna lie. Just lie. Natalie. That was coming down. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie. Wow.

What do you got besides a bunch of shit? MikeFannyComedy.com for tour dates. We have Moegan Sun soon and headlining on the pennies. A bunch of other places you guys can get tickets on that. Check out. Here's the scenario right here on left button if you haven't already. If you love the show then go check out our patreon patreon.com slash an area pod and Irish Goodbye podcast if you want but follow me on social media at iammycreening. And if for some reason you guys are into video watching video games twitch.tv slash

NY Freshmaker. The amount of shit a comic has to do to make money or even be relevant. Yeah, it's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. It's so many things. it's so many things. plugging all of those things. Nobody remembers.

He'd go, well, now I'm not doing any of them. You said too many things. Yeah, I know you have to plug all that shit though. You have to. But here's what you should do. You should have a website with all that shit on it. Do. And just go, hey, go to my website, everything's up there.

I was hoping that Mike would pull it up while I was saying it, but he didn't, so then I went into each thing individually. Sorry. It's all right. We're working out the Kings in here. He's slowly highlighting Bobby's dates. As I'm plugging Mike's going, how many works?

How many are my... My ring camera just went off at my house. I have all these cameras. And my biggest fear is I'm just gonna turn it on. It's gonna be like three dudes outside my back window. Oh my God. But there's nothing I, what am I gonna do? It's just the camera. I'm just gonna turn it on. It's gonna be like three dudes outside my back window. Oh my God. But there's nothing, what am I gonna do? It's just a camera.

I'm not gonna go, hey, don't rape my wife. Yeah, we're in here. Yeah, she's got a shotgun. What do you do? She's a sh- that's a terrifying. I'm worried about Don, trust me, my wife will fucking shut. No, I'm not worried about that. I'm either saying what, why is the guy came today

from, what the, for the gas company? And they've come like nine times. We have to change a thing. And every time like, listen man, it's getting weird. You know what I mean? You coming in a lot, then they charge us like four grand last month. So the guy shows up today, young kid.

You know, he's got the beautiful mom. And I see a siam, I fucking looking at a shoes, his knuckles, his fingernails, his neck, his hair. Look at the shoes. I look at everything. I look at your whole fucking fingers. What shoes were you expecting? Well, if you had fucking Jordans on,

that a dirty, with no laces, you're not coming in. Interest. If you got dirty knuckles, you ain't coming in. Why? Because you're a fucking homeless person. You have to have a certain dress code when you work for the fucking connet. You have to wear certain shoes because you get electrocuted, a shit will fall on your toes. You have to have a certain dress code when you work for the fucking con ed. You have to wear certain shoes because you get electrocuted. A shit will

fall on your toes. You have to have certain boots on and you have to be clean. You can't just show up on people's houses with an iPad looking like a piece of shit and smelling like a piece of shit. So I did all that shit that I brought them inside. I was like, come on and we were talking a little bit about the thing. And then I go on hand down a knife, a little tiny fruit cutting knife and she let it go. I'm good. And she had a fucking butcher knife right there, ready to go. Well done, so sick. She went, I'm good.

And she had a knife underneath the fucking magazine. If this guy ever made a fucking move, he was going to get just his head cut off. Aren't they supposed to call you before they send someone though? Like, who, they don't just don't know. They can just walk up and just. Wow, what? That's so weird. Yeah, you're first of all little kids, you'll figure out someday when you get a house,

that that's the way it works. Yeah, both of you. Yeah, that's where you're getting a house. Hopefully someday you'll get a house. I hope so, dreams. I want a brown stone. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow.

That's my goal. That's fucking beautiful. Relax. As you're done. She's fine. Anyways, what do you got? I have a monthly show called Guess What It's Wednesday at the stand. I'm going to be opening for Julian McCullough at the end of July in Chicago, and I'll be

in Chicago for like a week. And I have a podcast called Unabashed Podcast. Follow me on Instagram, act Abby is Brian. Yes, Mosh, what do you got? I mean, with Dan Soder, the Edison improv next month, with Janis Popus at the end of August that laugh out loud. I'll be with Janis and Bobby at Science Plutters in September. All right.

I'm going to be, of course, Robert Kelly Live.com. And if you're watching this patreon.com.catch. Robert Kelly, become a member. This podcast is fucking always free. If you don't have the money, it's cool. You can watch it, but you can't watch it live. You can't watch it unedited and you can't watch the extra half. The extra quarter we do and all the culture and Kelly's and all the other shit.

So become a member, support me and go to robacadolive.com. All but any funny bone Friday, one show, Saturday, two shows. And then I'm going to comedy works Vegas July 3rd, July 2nd to the 3rd. And then Port Charlotte, Vassani's love that club. And then I'm going to, I'm going to Comedy Connection, Rhode Island. All these summer dates, punchline, Philly is coming up, side splitters is coming up September.

So please go to my website, come to the dates. If you're gonna go to my shows, buy your tickets now. All my shows are up there. You click on the link and buy your tickets, so I don't have to hear the club owner. Can you please feel it in tweet? And then they can just buy the tickets. Let's go.

All right, here we go. Go to wearables.com. You want one of these dance soda shirts? All the proceeds go to him. YKWD, you got dance soda. IRIS up there, call does up there. You got a fuck, Doug Bell. You got Kells Bells.

That's the merch pigs right there. The fuck Kells, Doug Bell is limited. It's limited. We only have a few. So if you want one, go get it. Caltor and Kelly shirts are up there. That's a awesome shirt. What the Caltor and Kelly?

No, just all of like the design on all, like the portraits. Yeah, so sick. And we got the new YKWD retro logo at baseball cap. Is up to, and that's my little, my little hero up there. I, we gotta read the names and everybody. This is the new Patreon members. We read the names. I will read the five dollar ones

and I would appreciate it if you guys would read the 10 dollar ones, but give them a little something extra if you have it in you. What's this? I mean, I'm looking at one name. Isn't that like a congressperson? Well, I, if you saw, Bernie Sanders, uh, as a, as a, as a Saunders, I want to thank you very much. We remember Jared put your phone down and

read the next name because the former governor of Wisconsin has joined your Scott Walker. Is it really? I'm like, I recognize that name. He killed his wife. No, he didn't kill. I thought I was. He killed his wife. No, he didn't kill it. I thought it was either he killed his wife or he's a congressman. I'll let you. What are the other? What are you going to do? Hey, Chelsea, what's up?

Thanks for joining. I love when girls join the Patreon. Thanks for being a member. August, Mugat took a little doofl. Nice. And okay, we got a Harry hack. Harry hack. All right. Read Natalie. Read the next one. and okay, we got a hairy act, hairy act, movie. All right, read Natalie, read the next one.

Blake Yates, what a good guy. That's a hot name. That's all you got. He's a hot name. Blake is sexy, Yates is kind of weird. Okay, that like that. That's all, what do you got, you got anything? For Blake Yates?

No, for the next one. No, for cause, cause. Yeah. I assume a massive Cosby fan who still professes his innocence. Mike Hansen, what's up? Thank you for becoming a member. I want to thank all you guys. We got one more page, I think, right?

Mike, you got one extra guy who upgraded his membership. Ooh. Woo. $500 tier. You guys are paying me. What the fuck? He's paying $500 a month. Are you serious? He's the first guest at your tiny house.

Does he get to be a guest? Does he get to be a guest for the Patreon portion of an episode when he's in town? Just one? I feel like for the most episode. I would want your role back. Oh my God. Monty pays $500 a month. Let Mike talk, he'll start to study or flip out.

Let him go. Sorry, much. Every Monty pays $500, he can do that. So when he to you. Start the study and flip out. Let him go. Sorry, much. Every monthy page $500, you can do that. So when he comes to town, he gets to come on and be a guest. Yeah, we have to be filming. So for every month, he gets 500, he gets another episode. So he could literally be, he could buy his way onto my show. Yeah.

Has my co-host. Has my co-host. First, he let his own us what's on the head. What the hell? Tell them if he books the show and come off of free. He's only on the furloughed the head. Gabby laughed it away in which. Well, he gets to come up, hang on.

And then he'll be on the show. Exactly. You're like, I mean, this is very wild. But TJ Harrington is gonna be a comedian, right, mush. No, that's Mike Harrington. It's a producer. Hey, TJ, man, that's Mike Harrington. It's a producer. Hey, TJ, man, welcome. Oh, yeah, welcome to the show.

Welcome to the show. I mean, to the Bobby and TJ show. Yeah, we've got a TJ one, is it becoming one of the regs? Oh, I'd love to have you. Hey, it is way on to be an arreg. If Lewis is on, when he's on, it's gonna be an nightmare. Oh, wow. You look just like fucking guy over there.

You got your fucking money, you fucking piece of shit. Oh God, the end of the month we're having, you booked that, right? The regs? Yes, no, you booked that. Shit, I didn't, you booked it. No, I did, but make sure you just double check with everybody. Okay, you got it? Yeah.

Okay, great. Yeah, we're gonna have I didn't get a show You're not a reg Well You're regular. Thank you. Yeah, but you're not the regs and the new eggs show this the new regs Well, you're the new wave. Yeah, you're gonna squeeze them out Oh, it's let us in there. Let me let me have I have Just not doing it. Excuse me Getting you great. You're fantastic. Oh, doing it. Excuse me. I'm kidding. You're great.

You're fantastic. Damn it. They need cuddling. This has been a fucking great episode. It's been great to be back in the studio. It was a pleasure to meet you. I'm glad you got a couple of zingers. You made me laugh a little bit, but you're very interesting, very nice.

Not as pretty as people said, but the... I'm kidding. I'm so sorry about this. Bobby's in the basement. Bobby's in the basement., but the, I'm getting so sorry about this. Bobby's engagement, obviously. I'm kidding. And I'm deteriorating. I'm so kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, because everybody was like, she's really pretty, right? Yeah. And I was like, no, not very pretty. Of course, you know that. That's why I would joke with you. If you're ugly, that would be me.

Be terrible if you're like, you tear people down. Just a mole on your face. Builds them back. He just looked into space when she's, he tears people down. He tears people down. Gaby just looked into space when she's he tears people down. He tears people down. Hey, look, she's fucking not with that dude anymore. I'm trying to nigger. Yeah.

Thank you. It's very close. Thank you. It's actually coming on. We'll see you again. Go back on again. All right. You moock.

Good to see you. You're good to see you too, buddy. Thanks for coming on. I appreciate it. Jared, great to see you. Good to see you. Sorry to keep in running in and out. I've had, but it was great to see everybody here.

This is such a fun time. It was good, and I'm glad because it's like, we're back in the game. That's right, man. I like this. And, you know, it's so weird. We got used to Zoom. Yeah.

It doesn't make it better. It just means we got used to it. Yeah. I think like the studios are going to start trickling back. I can already feel, you know, it is easier on my life to tape over the film, but this is better. This is way better. This is better.

There's a feeling, there's a vibe. There's an aura. A momentum. More pressure. Yeah, it was good seeing you. Please fix my frames. Right, yeah. Yeah, I gotta go fix this.

Okay. Did I ever never mind? Nice talking to you. Okay. Mush. Thank you so much for putting this together. We got the two producers here. What's your name again?

Still Ben. What is it? Still Ben. Weird Ben. I don't know how to call names. Weird Ben. No. Weird Ben.

And Norm. And Norm. And Nicole. We should call them the Great White Shin. That's a great white Shin. That's a good one, right? We call weird band, AK, the great white shin. And then we got Nicole, nurse Nicole, because she looks like a nurse. Were you a nurse? Did you ever want to be a nurse? No, she doesn't look like a nurse. She has one earring in.

She looks like a nurse. She looks like you come in and she'd be like, hey, come over this way. I'll help you out. Don't I mean, not like, you know, I think she, con volotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com

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