Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Listamania

Episode Date: July 7, 2014

With Robert away, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Sam Morril, Phil Handley, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo run YKWD. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Cada año queremos que disfrutes de la asistencia médica, presential y digital que mereces. Dal paso a Sanitas y disfruta ahora de bluayud durante un año gratis. Pulsan el banner para saber más. I'm the only one who's my guest on the planet Earth. I always try to keep it like a comic-cane. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's a tent. It's rubber-killing.

You know what? I'm a gay. There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. I'm a gay guest now. I'm a gay. I'm a gay. I'm a gay.

I'm a gay. I'm a gay. I'm a gay. I'm a gay. I'm a gay. I'm a gay. SHOI! COUGH! ROOOOOO! ROOOOOO! ROOOOOO! Oh Boy hello everybody welcome to the you know what dude Podcasted with your brand new host for the next 18 months Wow Roberto is in a rubah Bobby is investigating the Natalie Holloway situation. They call. And he's down there for 18 months. And while he's gone, I will be hosting the You Know What

Dude podcast. You're welcome. First and foremost, thank you to all the List of Maniacs slash listeners. And someone just gave up a new name, Listorians, who voted. And of course, we had a pact pact my vice host Who lost by a very large margin slim margin? Who slim oh I confused large and I'm a sip of Kelly. Ah First joke of the pod We do it's a bomb Dana. It's a bomb and I don't count that it's a bomb because I use the red all I was just kiss I was just curious. Yeah, It just reminded you of bombing. Yeah, you do that. That's my vice host over there. Lewis J Gomez the rattlesnake Puerto Rican rattlesnake realize to how it's turn of MMA radio.

The great bambino. Is that one of them thing with the rattle? It's not my it's kind of the thing that the people appointed me to have.'s a like it It's it's a cardigan of radio. I like it. How dare you I like it First of all we can't do any inside jokes about Phil Hanley because nobody knows who Phil Hanley is I saw Joe I do a dad not feeling well Let me just introduce everybody real quick most of the people have already started talking That we have crossed sitting across from me and Dan Sotar's seat one of the funniest comics in Canada and a comic here in America My pal Phil Hanley over there. Hey, who's been here before? It's second time on the show third time. Oh, yeah, and I did it another time when you were here was that's fourth time

Third or fourth, but joke congratulations on the Thank you buddy the hosting man if you're not if I'm not mistaken, you a list of maniac is not you can't have a huge and a huge fan yeah all right are you not a go might i'm a go might it's a look it sounds like a uh... bug that you find in your bed uh... you know rosco come and sniff out but no i'm a good bob danish give it to me

i'm a go might you know at least i'm trying Kelly yeah you are trying Kelly for stucas here of course and i want to let everyone know i had the option bobby said i can do the show anyway i wanted i had the option to do it sands kelly oh my god i want to go with you here's the thing i texted the wrong kelly i wrote you suck and you can't come in but i texted some of his other heavy girl i used to fuck and it's great uh... but kelly for stuccas here of course she's here. I'm so glad you're in the state I thought about doing the show by myself

So do the idea to just read obituary the entire time and just make it the worst you know what dude ever Which it still may be Sitting to my right My dear friend we had a quite a beef for a while. He's fine now. We're back together. He offered me socks tickets Chris The scopian scopian No, then his fans are the scopian. Oh right now we're back together he offered me socks tickets press the scorpion scoping and that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the ball marille who's who's a champ it came out with a horrible hangover and he's still here yeah pain this guy's a real kike and uh... that's you know it's your father with you with you but kike is too much one of the rare drunk a rare drunk you

very sick you know i said we're not uh... we're not built for alcohol juice now you're not it's not attractive kelly issue said very sick to my son and sam's ignored her book she just said very sexy my sam and sam's ignored or uh... uh... uh... uh... you think he didn't like he didn't hear you that's hilarious to me anyway now i think

we've ranked least attractive now which i've done before i think sam has got to be less attractive than me i don't know i mean just you got to talk you with those frames jay i think uh... i think cali for sicker's elbows at least attractive How many jokes that you gonna do? Look like elephant skin. I have any other jokes. Whoa

I haven't had any jokes, but I just never said an elephant skin joke. Let your elbow wait You said elephant joke about me last week. No, I said you your body was elephant like that is nothing to do with elephants Can you be sure? Like that is nothing to do with the elephants gonna be right I ride some jokes Oh Your insta no you're insta-getting me. What are you doing Joe? I was happy with the different specs We knew you a hostie I feel I'm voted for you That Kelly claim that she voted for me and I think I think it's I think that the political move Yeah, I think she voted for both right there. I don't trust it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh between these two idiots and I want Joe to win and it was only three months if you call this idiots three times be a writer will you please be a writer guys neither one of you can write

Joe I don't like the level of disrespect for your hosting duties tonight because Lewis has just brought like gomites into the studio Lewis brought a couple gomites I don't know I didn't ever prove by I don't like the naming your fan thing I think it's it's first of all no no no they're all copy of me so they're all i'm the awesome one and then they all started naming their fans like a bunch of bags no so much weed at scopians and that's then you said that week so i have a hear of a parrot head dildo well dance so does dad was one before he drank himself to death. Oh, he danced down here, shit. Well, that got weird.

Can anyone do voices? Kelly, go ahead. Kelly can do a Midwestern type voice. She's not a voice girl. She's more of a write-tap, mate. She's quite the write-tap. Well, we really don't like you. It's like, I speak to you guys on the couch.

Lewis, Jacob, how do you feel about being on the couch? You know what, dude? Here's what pisses me off. You know what, dude? You know what, dude? Tell us what pisses you off. You know what dude? You know what dude? Tell us what pisses you off buddy boys. I don't like the fact that I'm supposed to be your vice host. You are my vice host, don't you?

You come on the couch next to this fucking animal that I can't stand anything about. I mean like Joe another point of discussion. Nothing coming late. I told Chris Scopo and Joe that I would get here at 10-10. So I actually came in exactly on time exactly answer you told us you would be late No, no, no, no, I told you I would I told if I say I'm gonna get somewhere at 1010 and I show up at 1010 That seems like it's on time to me doesn't it? No, the show starts at 10 no actually you told me the show was out of 1015 The show started 11. Yeah, the show started 11, but you switched it to 10 and your vice host

So I let it slide I know dog listen to me don't give me a sarcastic dog. Okay. I'm giving you nothing but So you know so real dog around in here. It's only sarcastic dogs. I would hope Lewis gives out real dog He does give a real dog. I really do. Yeah, I don't know. I do I do a real dogs Kelly. What do you think? Right, Joe. Joe be a writer go right. What's up Kelly Kelly? You give me hand signals What the poster that's not doing during the show Kelly. Yeah, it's fine The poster fell but you know what some video and it's gonna look shit No, it looks great. What are you kidding me? It's the four-time in a fell four-time? It's a humidity Yeah, nobody that looks at this I told Adrian to not do it because he would distract the show

So let's fuck and anyone looking at the shot of me is looking at these beautiful foreheads I have. Oh boy, I'll take the bomb, Dana, I guess. I didn't even get a joke. Was that a joke? I don't even know what it was. I'm going to a lot of pressure. You know how Bobby's never funny on the show? Yeah.

It's because he's hosting. It's tough to be funny when you're hosting. Oh, I do get that because you have to steer the ship. You have to control where the conversation is going. and then I'm giving you an opportunity to be funny, but that's why I took over. And then... Bobby's not funny. Phil, what do you think, buddy?

I've never seen you take a beer before. Phil's a great comic. He's Canadian, he stands with his legs spready, wears a card again, he's a bit of an elitist. Really handsome. Thank you, Joe. What do I think about what? Like I said before, I'm extremely excited that you uh... you're hosting a thing is gonna be a nice time

all great yeah well already into it so if you have any jokes you throw out there please anyone would you suppose to do jokes i'm a little over a start up right now for a moment film any switch seats with them joe well louis is sitting on the couch like a like a good vice-host would that says you know what all the sitting on the couch like a good vice-host would. He says, you know what? All of this sit on the couch.

I'm a guest. I mean, these people are guests. Yeah, Hanley always plays body parts. He always plays, he said, I have a bad neck. I have to sit in this chair. He always does that. I want to get pizza. He's like, we're getting bagels.

My stomach hurts. He's a cunt. I agree. A lot of wine in here. I'm kidding. Jesus. Lewis, you're giving me the silent treatment now? Yeah.

I just want to talk about Kelly's elbows. And now I can't because she's questioning my writing. And she's on her phone. What's going on? And she's the girl who's supposed to do that. No, yeah there's a fuck. There's a... Did you ever not have a picture of a picture of a fucking phone and a phone jail? No, there's actually a phone jail, Phil. I really?

And I appreciate you not being able to do that. I want you to wear the striped shirt. Hey! Did you see she got a phone jail? Yeah, I wish she had a ball and chain. Hmm? Well, I'll keep this bomb danna here. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I got nothing. What do you mean you have nothing at all in your headphones? Yeah, now I got you're in my headphones Oh boy, I don't know good. We're fine. What are you talking about? I don't know my headphones just cut out really? I think we're good, man. I can get nervous. Oh great This is fun apart you got four more people should have voted for me four people we needed I would have lost by four

I lost by three I needed four more votes Well three would have tied and the tiebreaker was who's more attractive? So you would have lost That's not really more attractive than me look was who's more attractive. So you would have lost that. That's actually you're not really more attractive than me. Look at the guns on Lewis. Thank you, bro. No, actually I have guns in my pocket. I thought you were a knife, people.

So yeah, do you guys want to just start over? I think we were doing good. I think we had some good, I had the kite bit. I had the Bobby D. Well, I tried to throw a couple Zing's ofxicali she got mad she told me i got a right more that bug me out a little bit here's the thing it's gonna be hard because usually i'm the only funny one on the show but now i have to steer the ship

so it's a little more difficult i'm actually getting laps in the room from the go mites who seem like they may be turning the corner into list of mania many jesus calls you would never be a Listermaniac, correct? I would prefer more attractive fans than you have actually. No offense. He lives under a bridge. Hello. All right, well we got some requests of what to talk about.

One guy said talk about bombing and Sam, you just bombed a few minutes ago. Oh, so bad. At LOL, one of the best premier clubs in your city. It's Kelly's home club. Not a lot of fun. It was one of those sets where after every couple jokes I would just go, I fucking hate you guys.

Oh, that's part of it. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I told her to the management. I gave it a shot. What? Were you talking to the management? He was afterwards. Oh my god.

Now he wasn't talking to you, Lewis. When you said you, you hate hate them did that when the backer I got a little laugh. I told them I told them if I Said if I would never commit suicide, but if I did you guys would make the note. That's what I said Ten I was just at a Starbucks all spread out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, not together no cohesion Also, this woman kept going aw after every joke and I was like, why are you doing that? That's the worst possible reaction I know that and she's like I feel bad for you. I'm like, we I mean you should But you should also feel bad for yourself. You're you're at the show too, you know, right?

I was just at a Starbucks and there's a girl sobbing saying that she was gonna kill herself. I just saw Sam Morel. Huh. It was the worst. She was on the phone and she was like, I need to see you tonight. I'm gonna kill myself and she was like bawling, crying. She was like, if I don't see you tonight, I'm gonna kill myself.

This is gonna be, I'm gonna commit suicide. I didn't know it to do about it. It's like, no I tweeted about it. Oh, cool. Yeah, I think she'll be fine. But what can I do? You could say, hey, are you all right? You should have had her.

Oh, come on. I'm a Twitter in there, people tweet at her. right? You should have had her on Twitter and there, people tweet at her. Yeah, I should have invited her on the show to live and things up a little bit. What was the question about bombing? What are they asked? Kelly, I emailed you that thing.

Do you have all those things? You look like you're doing something else right now. Yeah, no, just some problems in the USStream. Just trying to fix it. USStream. There's no problem in the USStream. People are saying this. Scope on Kelly fight.

Yeah. One guy wrote it. Scope was very low, by the the way is volume he said very low he said that we should talk about uh... how dan sotas girlfriend hates Kelly does she i had never heard that before that's what some guy wrote really i don't know he also said juz so i got that request out of the way and then someone wanted to talk about 90s professional wrestling memories. But only Jewish guys. Berlin R Schaister, do you remember that guy?

Oh, very old. He was Jewish, wasn't he? Yeah. Barry Horowitz? Yeah, sometimes he went by Horowitz, didn't he? Oh, yeah. The question was from a dairy got big fan of the show, friend of the show. Talk about how a comic handles bombing.

How do you guys get the strength to go back out there every night? Did you see what I tweeted at him? I tweeted back at him. I wrote now we have to invite Kelly under the show And then he tweeted back zing. Huh? That was pretty fun because he asked how we handle bombing. Oh, how do you handle a bomb guys? The audience has spoken they want to hear how you handle a bomb? Sam what you know probably the expert you tell people that they you hate them I mean like look I also like to tell them that like I know it's bad I know this is I don't I want them to know at least I'm not fucking unaware. I want to be like yeah, I know this suck

There's another worsen watching a comic who's kind of cocky who's like doing like act out for a bomb and you like oh That's brutal. Oh yeah when you when they like still like act out for a bomb and you're like, oh, that's brutal. Yeah, when you when they like still like do abandon any jokes that you have to really move for. You're bombing because then it makes it that much worse. That's a great big J. It's like an old big J. So I once did the whole thing, but he used to do a joke where he got down to his underwear. So he said one time he didn't have a competition and it just fucking bombed.

So at that point, he had to pick up his pants and close off the floor to feck I and his underwear bombing. It's just awful. Act out in like a silence is yeah really painful. That's why I never was a high energy guy. I used to be like a high energy guy in high school. I was obsessed with Jim Carrey and I do back flips and throw things. But I could never do it on stage because I was scared. There's nothing worse than bombing while you're doing a cartwheel or whatever. Yeah, plus you can write jokes.

Thank you buddy. I appreciate that. I used to describe myself as George Carlin meets Jim Carey when I first started. Oof. It's a... Well, that's what I was trying for. I'm not... Sorry, the show... There's a thing happening here where Chris and Kelly are silently arguing across me and touching it. No, I'm trying to get my mic together and Kelly...

What are they doing over here? I don't know what the hell's going on here. Yeah, we're here now. It's good Is that good? Yeah, we're good. Okay. All right. We are right Lewis. How you doing over there? I'm good man. There's a weird vibe with Cal I don't know what happened with her I threw a couple little zangs a couple little jabs She made it real scope on Kelly of a weird energy right now. We do fill and Sam aren't funny That's a good point and I'm trying to host. These guys, you're trying to host all the funny.

Funny. Let's fill in a few layer funny on stage. I'm the only one who's got Joe had a couple but. Yeah, I smiled a couple times in a thing to say. And kidding me, I'm bringing it. Joe, you're great. It's fine. I just had a few people tweet at me that you stream wasn't working. So I had to go in and make sure it was working and it was. So it's fine.

I appreciate you saying Joe, you're great. I don't think the problem is me. Yeah, I know, but I think it's like everyone. I think that's part of the problem. But me, the list of maniacs are gonna be thrilled with whatever I do, and the list of nerds will probably be pretty happy too. Louis, you can be a real look dog.

I don't like it. I'm not giving you a look. It feels like a bad move. I'm not gonna make you switch. I'm not a bad if I don't like Kelly's energy. Me and Sam are weird through, we can eye each other now. Yeah, there don't like Kelly's energy. Me and Sam are aware of them, they can eyes at each other now. Yeah, there's an energy in the room. I don't care for Hispanics and it's coming out here.

They're called Latinos and I don't even. Whatever, dude. You know what, there was a really good, do you get a really good tweet about people's worst drug experiences? Yes, someone wanted to hear a time we did too many drugs and we regret it. Lewis, I'm looking at you buddy. And now Phil, you used to dabble in the drug community a time we did too many drugs and we regret it.

Lewis, I'm looking at you, buddy. And now Phil, you used to dabble in the drug community quite a bit. You're a deadhead, another band that came up with a name for their fans way before gomites, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just, yeah, I like come up with this before. I don't know that they didn't do it before me. Okay, I don't know what that means. That's almost a bomb but it

didn't make sense I feel let's hear about the drug use please well I I did consume some drug nothing create nothing like what's that what kind I'll probably you're gonna say that what's that you're probably about to say that I was gonna say that I when I was when I was in in high school I took some loose Syngenix too many long hair. I did have long hair But I and I recommend them to anybody but they do they seem to agree with me So I had fun. Oh really? I mean don't dabble anymore. You seem a little stressed out these days You might want to hallucinate a little bit. No, I'm good. Yeah, I don't do I don't I don't do that anymore

I feel like I've done them and I'd never had any bad experiences But I don't I don't know if I can handle them. I never did hallucinogens. Oh, yeah, do you ever do acid? Yeah, I've done pretty much everything guys. Really? What about anal rape? So you have done it did you enjoy acid? Yeah, I mean I look I you know I did fucking I've done a little acid I've done a lot of acid. I said you don't really enjoy it. It's like an experience There's parts where you're laughing and you're fucking freaking out But then there's parts where you get naked and trying to fucking touch your friends with

Glass we had I've never heard that drug experience before yeah, they don't do that in Canada. I just had fun I just had I mean we were fucking we were I was trying to escape life I wasn't trying to just have fun yeah I like fucking dropped fucking seven hits a liquid acid underneath my tongue and then lost it you know I'm the whole thing with drugs is how it brings out your you know whatever so he's you know whatever it's like excellent point you're all is like fun I just want a good time too well I in in retrospect, I mean, I honestly have no interest

in doing acid again, but I did enjoy it. But people use it. You can be like super productive, a cured like alcoholism and stuff like that. Wow. I said a cured alcoholism. Yeah, that's what they were using it for. Because they people, I've heard that

because they get in touch with themselves. Yeah, they were doing all these experiments in San Francisco in the 60s, and then hippies started going in and getting it and bringing it out of like, these was like clinical studies, and then the US government like shut it down. Oh, well yeah, it would make people blame themselves.

It would make people look at themselves and like fix problems or whatever. I think Kelly brings up a great intelligence point. I don't know how to fucking ask. I feel like Phil is transporting just sheets of acid across the borders. No. That's what we find out about Phil Hanley, he's just sheets of acid across the borders. No. This way we find out about Phil Hanley.

He's just a huge acid. No, I just know it's just it it interests me. He does have a very tight asshole. I've gotten in there and he had a scare. Herpes. His arms are getting nicer too. Look at that. He's got like little triceps going on now.

Yeah, everyone looks good. Everyone's been working out. Well, not everyone exactly, but I don't want to. Yeah. Point names. You Kelly and Lewis, you guys have the same uh bicep program oh boy

I know that was a dig at me but I'm glad that he lumped you in with me to make you back no it's not that's definitely more on you he sang your song to fix guys want to you gotta do some more now Phil and Kelly you guys you guys ever hanged you spend time together cuz I think this is an interesting dynamic cuz you're both very country and And I love you both very very lady like you are lady like I think you're a little lady like

I just did you I just did you it really big on no well you know what you Kelly got in my head cuz she said something about lumpy And I don't even know dude Fuck you Kelly fuck you bitch you got in my head because she said something about lumpy and I don't even know dude Fuck you Kelly fuck you bitch. You got on my head up top and I now I feel like I can't say I can't even make eye contact with you It's making me so angry. It's a bad vibe over there Kelly pre-warme. I have to break up any Lewis Kelly fight She said it's bad radio. It's gonna be it's gonna be a close Wait, you told the tell you told the professor before it actually happened Kelly said that what did I just write you out? I mean to be nice fine. I was there too much Historical I'm sorry Joe no go ahead but I'll just say that I was hearing a very historical episode when Kelly revealed something And it should got ugly got real

I didn't know I thought he was a real-ass dude But I'd never seen it in action and that was some real-ass reaction Yeah, oh yeah, no, well you told him to break up any fights between me and you you pre-tall them to break it up I just said just if that's where Lou wants the episode to go I think it's very boring radio and I'm getting too many Me oh, don't know what funnier boring is You don't know why too many break it up yeah is You break it up you break it up You make it up there ever be an instant maybe you're drunk. Maybe you guys are on the road together whatever

Yes, I'll answer this one never go in the road with me and a million years Because I don't write and she does Both you guys are opening for Bobby, right? He doesn't bring her anymore Because she bombed him anytime some happened you guys at opening for Bobby, right? You like to stop? He doesn't bring her anymore. Because she bombed him many times. Some happen you guys have to share room, you're drunk. Bobby does like a soft open and a soft body.

All right, go ahead Phil, sorry. I'm just, would that ever happen in any circumstance? Would you two have sex? Not a chance. Really? No. At any point in you, would it the first night you met? It's not, no, it's not me.

I wouldn't fuck that. It's not, it's not me. I wouldn't fuck that It's not it's not like she's acting like she's acting like she wouldn't kill you throw it down with any fucking comic who gets you drunk I'm not fucking I'm not worried about trying to fuck you I really wanted to in my life. I could be inside of Kelly fucking for stuka. It's not that difficult. All right break it up Break it up. It's boring. I reference uh... eighteen months ago eighteen months ago i got sober and and louis had a baby what's it eighteen months ago that eighteen months and a couple days eighteen months ago well my day is june twenty eight

your baby is what june twenty eight what's the date that you got sober that's what i just said i just a 28 uh... yeah you said june yeah that's what we have to do that that's their off the the carol Christmas party. We got each other's face Sam Marillen. I almost fought. No, that was at the Comedy Central party. No, this is Caroline's man We that playwright right after we got each other's face. No, you're thinking of you and Mackie you and I almost fought at that comedy

Central party in the upper west side. Oh, Mackie. Oh, you almost fought Sean McCarthy one time. Oh, that was a good one You remember that one? I kind of get it dude. I You said a fight fight all your friends Here's what happened with Sean McCarthy though this guy had a comment a little bit because he this comic comic the blogger Yeah, look I'm fine with him now. I like him now, but good guy But it's like the nicest little sweet guy. Okay Kelly. Let me explain what you really nice guy Sam you have the floor. Okay, here's what happened he wrote a thing This was like years ago when we did the final four thing was like me soda Adam Newman and Nick Cobb and it said the New York

Oh for funniest in the city and the Daily New thing and he wrote they're all funny But funniest in the city and we're like yeah, we know we're not the funniest in the fucking city It was an article was nice does Newman know that? No, but I know and And look look so I you know I was I read that I was like, fuck you, man. I'm nobody. I had no, nothing going on at the time. Just like my one thing. So I kept in the back of my head and then I got really drunk at the Comedy Central party. So I saw him and I just go, hey, fuck you.

Oh, wow. Sam's a real ass dude. Sam has a real ass. And, and he was like, what? And I just got in his face and Mac he was holding me back. Yeah, we had a fight where, is that a Jew Rattle for Sam? Sam is quietly a real ass dude. The Jewish Cobra.

Ooh. Who would win the fight? Who would win the fight between you and Sam? Lewis would take Sam. No, no, no, not Lewis. Not Lewis. Joe and Sam. Oh, Sam I think is more anger no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Right now Joe would be impossible to knock out because he literally has no chin so you just be punching at him Over and over again while he just rattled you in the side of the head with his tiny tinkery fingers. Did you say rattle?

Good good thing vice-host at hurt So Joe is so fucking fit though. I don't I think you could just he's look at him. He's hung over I am fit I am a man now Sam has crazy anger and Sam also is more of a real Astute. I've seen Sam try to fight like a group of kids before. They're really chill. They're chill. I heard a story. When did I do that? A lot. How do you drunk? You don't even remember that? You're a nut. You'll just start fights with people. Yeah. I'm at Lewis level, but I'll quietly do it.

You are very similar though. First of all, name a time where you've seen me try to fight somebody once I see in a 7 11 Story Nate's Nate's MacDonald story you weren't there the Frisbee day name a time I didn't have to be you were the I've seen CB and LLL's many many times Yeah, you always have a story and then I want to make sure you guys are paying attention to me You were throwing thank you for being so ten of as my friends like five minutes ago on this couch You throw you were throwing a frisbee the guy you wanted to fight a guy that you weren't even there when the incident happened We just told you about it. Who's told me that was it Mackie who told me that you got to know a fight with someone in Pennsylvania

Some guy in so much great dude. No, but it was actually dude. Here's what I did back He said that he deserved it. I'm a superhero and that's the truth. Okay, I don't go around the truth. I'm honest. I don't try to go around and fight like, just I'm out of bully, I'm gonna try to fight people. I try to correct people's wrong actions. So when that guy in the park was being a dick

and was being shitty to you guys because you were throwing a frisbee around and bitching about it. And then through a frisbee fucking near us, I was like, you know what, dude, and that motherfucker needs to have his attitude adjusted. I agree around and bitching about it. And then through a frisbee fucking near us, I was like, you know what, dude, and that motherfucker, he needs to have his attitude adjusted. I agree, but- It's about justice.

I'm saying, but you do try, you do try to get in fights, and no one's called you a bully, you dumb dumb. No, it's not trying to get into fights, it is trying to mentally beat that person. You don't look, you don't back down from fights easily though. You don't back down at all. No, not back down.

Not that, not back down, but if someone starts where you'll just, you won't let it go. You don't fucking keep going. Dude, today I want to to a construction site you guys could probably hear the audio of this Dude, there's a construction site next door to my apartment, okay? Mm-hmm, and it fucking They they're not supposed to work until 80M. There's supposed to work 80M to 5 p.m. Okay, so these motherfuckers at 7.15 this morning They start working so I Can hear you whisper, Chris go,

I didn't mean to do that. You just whispered into the microphone. Well, I know you have a, I'm doing a single shot on you and fucking Kelly's on her phone. Yeah, Cal. That's why you fucking have that one. That wouldn't be a single shot. I ain't your retweet that you stream, but it's not coming out. Well, stop it.

So anyway, this guy, they, they start working at 715, the more so I go down to walk the dog and I approach them. So this is what happens I open the gate and I have my video camera out He pushed me You can't wait until 8 a.m. No, that's a lot. We're talking about, I've already called the company, you guys three times. They're like, we're gonna stop working at 7. We're getting so we're gonna be 8. Come on, we're 5. 8 to 5, I'm not gonna come up.

Rebel, my mate, I'm sorry, it's about 8 to 5. You guys are like dummies. Yeah. Maybe I'm gonna be 8. What, is that the lock? Can we look that up? Well, I would love you to check that out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one one to find out. And they were like, three, I go three one one. And they were like, they were like, no, no,

it's actually eight to five for residential. But then I did more research online. It's only seven to five if they're doing like repairs on their building to actually have full construction. It is eight to five. I called the landlord and the fucking landlord called me up apologizing like a motherfucker, freaking out because I said the guy hit me and I have it on video. Oh

Wow, yeah, did he hear you? Well he pushed me that's good. That's good. You're apparently only harassment according to the cops because I've been in that situation before. Oh you harassed a young lady Did you know this mother? There's another another mother of our UPS guy. I told you that story. Oh, yeah We heard so many mother fuckers. Yeah, a lot of people fuck mothers in Lewis's life Many motherfuckers. Yeah, a lot of people fuck mothers in Lewis's life Dude, but no, that's thing people act like assholes and then I have to say hey Dude, stop acting like a fucking asshole. Like I'm the guy on the subway somebody has their fucking phone blasting their music I'm like hey, dude. I don't want to listen to your fucking music. Have you ever thought about saying it in a polite way? Oh

No, I mean, I would always say in the play in the play, but it's not gonna do anything I go hey, you can turn your music down. Yeah, sometimes politeness helps I say right right Canada. Yeah, are you kidding me? Me and Philip both very polite guys and you and Sam both fly up to handle drunk maniacs Yeah, that's not nice and I think feeling I Real as maniacs to be honest. That's true. That's actually the name of our fans the real as maniacs You're a team being attacked him the last day That's actually the name of our fans, the Realist maniacs. We were tag team, the Realist maniacs. Let's do it. And you took a being a tag team, the fucking queers.

Hey Joe, Joe, someone... That would be someone right there. I have abandoned trying to be clever. It's like fucking faggot. Hold on a list of maniac rotors. Someone wrote in, he goes, Truthers, another name for Joe List fan. Truthers, Joe.

Oh, truthers. That sounds like one of the maniacs, though, that thinks George Bush started a fire in the World Trade Center, something, though. They seem like... of the maniacs though that thinks George Bush started a fire in the World Trade Center something though I seem like no less fans are all truth or that's weird. Yeah, we're Birthers list of maniacs. Listorians. I like is a new one. I appreciate that guy because he sounds like a real list listener The girls you can call listorines. Oh It's not bad

I don't think I have a lot of girl fans. Why is my mic all fucked up now? Yeah, my mic is not good. Girl is a great visual, so. Take over Vice-host. That was me and Phil. All right. All right, well I'm back now, actually. So your time is up.

Sorry, I was going to start talking to MMA, Chelsea Sondin. No, I'm pleased. No, no. No, no. Kelly, what were some of the other requests to talk about? They were very good. How dare you say that to listeners? I was to talk about uh... they were very good uh... but how did you say that to listen to the and they just were good uh... the bombing one uh... one guy said he wanted to know how we decided to pursue our dream he said

make it inspiring but funny so sam you're out but all we didn't actually go over how we deal with bombing oh yeah how do we go over bombing i haven't bombed in a really long time aside from this podcast like legit mainly you haven't had a bomb on a while now i bomb all the time what are you kidding yeah i do well when you're looking at the back they see everyone like scattered around you know you can just stop that it's hard to do well I was I was I was I was I would when you said that was wait for someone to jump in and I'm like why is it I'm a but we get on yeah yeah you finally said a cent of something sense and then they put like a whole

bunch of like like the eight black women in the back oh I don't like what this is going. I don't like that. I love, I love loads. Goose to black women. So I don't know what you're going to do. But some reason all I can see is just people's faces lit up right around the back. Oh boy. Yeah. Just on their phone. Would you say they're shining? I'm looking time.

Look at weird. Yeah. She is. They're on their phone and they don't. Lewis, worried. Yeah, you know, they spread them all out So I think I got to figure out a way to see people probably there. You see their teeth. You're a fuck No, it's good on the phone. Thank you a fuck. Oh, oh, they're phones a little bit up from their phones Everyone's on their phones. Everyone's on the heads down the phone. I don't know where they're like. It's something about You know one of the best you know one of the best lines ever heard for someone texting during a set was

I saw someone texting during Todd Barry was with the i said someone texting during Todd Barry said he goes having trouble spelling hilarious uh... uh... l.a.w.s. hosting first twenty seconds as chicken the back took a selfie like she's really standing up well i'm going on and taking a selfie of herself at the club that's great self-everself

uh... that's the worst of seeing people taking pictures of them so are like that that that people have like their back to the stage they're taking a picture of themselves they take a picture of them with the mic after the show and i think they're different between bombing and then there's a difference between genuinely shitty audiences and i'm not one of these guys look there's no fucking romanticism and comedy anymore but it's never the audience row it's always you

that i can't get you do fuck that dude. When you go into a room like LOL or like Ha or like some of these other fucking shit rooms that they're barking audiences in, they, there's seven people there. They're pissed off that they're there. They're not getting what they expected. And they're not going to give you the fucking chance. And if you can get a squeak out of them, you did a pretty good job in that case. It's like open mic.

So you're not expecting to go crush it and open mic. You're doing open mic. If you can get a couple of little apps here and there, maybe those jokes will work. So you kind of have to use it for there. A bomb. Like a bomb, what I consider a bomb is when everyone's doing well, it's a fucking hot audience. You walk on that stage and you fuck up, dude. You do something. I had, I have a great bomb. I was up in Canada with Nate Bargazzi and Graham K came out to do guest spots at the club and we were at comedy nest, which is a really cool club in the mall up there. Dan didn't just close down.

Come to work. Close down. Another great club up there. So right, Graham comes down. I'm just cocky. I'm featuring for Nate. I'm feeling good. Graham's to live it up in Canada again.

He left New York. So he failed that in New York. I'm like, yeah, let him get some five minutes before me. Not a big deal. So I literally, he goes to go on stage and I go New York. I'm like, yeah, you know, let him get some five minutes before me Not a big deal. So I literally he goes to go on stage and I go to Nate and like dude, I hope he fucking Bombs like I hope he dies up there. I don't know. I love Grammy's a friend of mine, but I wanted him a good friend Hey, you root for your friends to bomb real ask dude. Do you not in a little weird way sometimes? It is it is kind of fun. It's hilarious. I enjoy watching Joe If I saw my like you got like my I would hate to see you guys What it's so funny

No, I mean depending if it was like I mean maybe I think if you if one of you guys is having a bad set at like aloowell or something I could see you making it funny because you'd be commenting and something like that But if it was an important show Oh, we're doing a lot of club of course one of your buddies had a hot one They melt down a little bit. They maybe they fucking that's hilarious It would have to laugh about it Phil But it's a great comics make bombing and art form in itself. Yeah, I tell bomb is fucking beautiful

I either way, like, Graham goes up, okay. And I literally, the little lady named me, I was like, did I help you fucking die? Is that I hope you bomb so bad? He goes up and he fucking levels the whole. I'm talking about dude, the host did good. Graham, it was like, she'll hell. Like the second coming of Christ,

this audience lost their fucking minds dude. So I'm cocky now, my God, I didn't have to go fucking level this place dude. I go up and fucking level this place dude I go up and I did my do I didn't do anything wrong I didn't do shit I just did my first joke and you just heard nothing I thought you didn't do anything wrong but you did your first joke hey my it's just boring it's just boring mate see you ate it. How long did you do? I was supposed to be 25. They let me like 14. Do you like turn the corner and Nate just has this look of

elation on his face. Like he's never been happier because he had to experience every. He's a watch that unfold before his eyes. And early light is a real bad. That's a bad bomb. Oh, so bad when they light you early. Oh, it's an all-year-old.

You're like, I know this isn't been right the whole time It's a brutal moment. Yeah, I mean that that's a fucking like that when what's a bomb like that? We're everyone's killing it and you just fucking oh my god. I don't think I've ever seen you bomb for serious But I only only see you perform the the seller because you're an elitist Yeah, no, I mean, I've certainly had bad sense. No, I know that But what what what's ones last big hot one as uh... strip of acid melted in my pocket for in like a situation like that was like everyone else was killed at the bottom of

bomb isn't a bad crowd a bomb is it like this part of the reason for the bomb danna it's not because the ship podcast everyone everyone's those stinkers all the time is because everyone's throwing heat all the time and when somebody throws a stinker you smack him in the face with the bomb danna that's the idea of a bomb a bomb isn't just a bad crowd so it's also you handling it poorly i mean when i say a line on stage i'm like i should have said that fucking line

well that is to you but maybe you handle it right like i didn't do anything wrong when i bomb in front of the grab they just like me did you try to switch it no dude i fucked i don't know what did my first show didn't do anything wrong when I bombed in front of grab it. You like me. Did you try to switch it? No, dude. I fucked I don't know what did my first show didn't laugh They loved Graham and they just did not like what I was doing I Did you start sweating when the sweats are Yes, two minutes three minutes be the sweater coming down my head going to crowd work Did you try to do I'm sure I switched it out of it? I have blocked it at this point. It was so brutal

It was the longest 14 minutes of my life I don't say you would have known what was going on and you was the longest 14 minutes of my life. It's a... I don't know. I don't know what was going on. You can't come back from that from so far because you start stressing out in your head and you become really, really aware. Like, you can become out of your acts. Do you want to mean like you start looking at people

and going, Well, that's what I'm working on. What am I doing right now? I'm doing this. Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. That was an insert from Kelly's new autobiography. Bob, it's amazing. It's amazing how long you could stretch. When you're killing, it's amazing how long you can stretch jokes insert from kelly's new autobiography ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha times in my life. Right. I've not even had a bad one yet. What is it like to fucking go up and for 45 minutes to an hour have crickets?

I mean, does that, like, how do you even do it? It's the worst because, well, that's another situation. I think at this point, you get to a point and this is going to sound whatever. Eventually bombing is always the audience for the most part because the jokes work. They're saying the same jokes. Yeah, the jokes work. They're saying the same jokes. Yeah, the jokes are good jokes. How do you turn it around though?

If the jokes work, how could you get this audience for a 45 minutes or an hour that just can't fucking get it? Kelly, let's sort of five minutes. Well, I'm breaking up. You could break it up, you two, that's boring. You could, I've seen, I'm actually having a funky set. I've been having a bad set and I've called them on it and been able to switch it. Yeah, you can be.

That's the best feeling in a long set. Yeah, we were just like, all right, we got a, you could say something at all of top though and then just that's it. They don't like you. Yeah. I don't agree with that though because I think you got a prescription. I have a prescription. Yeah.

Exactly. I'll be your host. You got to go for that riff and if you get, if you don't get a live, you can go, yeah, and then you have that opener, hopefully. You just got to call the moment. If you said something and then it caused like an vibe in the room, you could just be like, oh my goodness, I took a risk. That's a fun thing in itself, digging a hole for yourself.

If you're in a, there's certain rooms who are comfortable enough where you, it doesn't really matter, you know, you could dig yourself a hole and kind of have the fun of digging yourself out of it. Not, you'd ever do it on purpose, but while it's happening, you could dig yourself a hole and kind of have the fun of digging yourself out of it. Not, you never do it on purpose, but while it's happening, it's kind of a fun thing. Like that first minute where like you like you say something maybe off-color, you maybe you make fun of the host and they really love the host. Ah, that's a good one. And you make it dig at the host. Oh, God.

And they go, who the fuck are you, buddy? We love this guy. I did that. I did that to Mackie on a Caroline show and a bunch of people came out to see him from the last So we always shit on each other like whenever we bring the They don't know like I'll bring them up We like this next comic is not a man and I'll just like shit on him and he'll come up and he'll be like oh fuck him And like we kind of go back and forth. I made My friend he was murdering in between comics I made the mistake of just being like fuck that piece of shit. No one laughs

I made the mistake of just being like fuck that piece of shit. No one laughed It took me five minutes and Mackey runs to the other the best The edge of the stage is arch flicking me off Well that happens every time because Dave Smith always shits every time I'm hosting Dave Smith will shit on me And it's just great because if you're killing they won't give you that so I love watching it happen now you you asshole You got to go and fucking win them back They loved me, but there's a fun tonight like Mackie and I go back to like late night a comic strip So we would like we would bring each other up on late night and just shit on each other It's like it's been going on for like nine years. I was doing that to each other So I can imagine you know it's funny if I imagine you and Mackie at three years old with their same shitty voices

Just talk to each other. Yeah same ax So much. Lidus. Lidus. I should have. So much. Can I ask you guys a question? Wait, let's get Phil's thought and then we're going to Kelly.

This is, all I was going to say about bombing, a big thing about if it's not going well, or if you open weirdly or whatever, is as soon as you start retreating inside of yourself, then it's over. But if you can keep that confidence, then that's like half the battle in getting the ship back on course. Kelly, sorry that I let Phil say that. You go ahead. What's your question?

I didn't. That's so true. Don't you think? I agree. I think you start bombing. I mean, you'd be better to talk about this than me, but when you start bombing, yeah, then you start questioning everything. Right, I started bombing my first year or two and haven't since, so it's hard to remember

because my first year was 21 years ago. Now it sounds like you're reading my biography. Um, all right, keep this on. Kelly, did you have a dumb question there? Can we just tie the bomb danna around the entire table right now? Is that possible? I think we've been bringing some heat.

Yeah, I've been throwing it. Are you kidding me? I'm sure with the last minute, it wasn't great. Okay, we'll let it down. He's playing with you Phil, I'm sorry. Kelly, you had a question. Yeah, I'm trying to let everyone speak here. What do you do when you have a host or a feature

that bombs so fucking badly that you need to clean up a mess? Cordial. That's what I was saying when you and Nate, like Nate killed after that? Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, dude, it was me. They did not like me. You know, it wasn't like, you know,

I watched that a lot, I mean, look, when you have a guy who isn't maybe to prepare to host or do like a shit room, you know, you gotta go up and, I mean, literally they could fuck up the whole show. And this kind of why it's funny, here's certain clubs clubs on the road where they don't pay a host or certain clubs in New York where they get shitty guys to host the shows that you can handle it. Lou if you get a guy that does that will you when you come up will you reference the

fact that this guy fucking I did it once and it was I thought bad about it. I don't think you should no you shouldn't you shouldn't address how any comic did unless they should on you personally Other than I told your your buddy and your boss and balls and man Some by the way we're talking about is them not really even getting that I know that look happened with sand of course Like I think but no I did that one time There's got the New York comedy club. He was hosting and he was horrific. It was a nightmare Do I mean? I don't even know what he was doing up there

But it was so bad and I was first on the show and I went up there and I forget what I said But it was just mean it was just like kind, I just shit on him in a weird way. I just said it was bad or something. And then as soon as I said it, they laughed. And I just fucking fucked up bad. And I went up to him afterwards. I was like, you know, I'm really sorry, dude. That was fucked up.

Like, I just made a mistake. I shouldn't have said that. And he was like, what'd you say? I left the room and even here. No, he fucking heard it. I saw the look on his face. He actually wasn't a big deal, but it hurt, dude. I agree.

I don't like any comics talking about other come of shitting on the comics particularly when They don't get a chance to retort with like how about that fucking idiot and then now I'm off stage I just got to listen to you about bad introductions I've had some introductions that just fucking horrific if it's a purposefully bad intro or they're an unprofessional Assault and fuck them their assholes But sometimes you just fuck up and you didn't mean to and it happens. The my favorite one ever I think is big J story with a guy spaces on his name and he goes this next guy, it's hilarious, he's been on Comedy Central, last comic standing, give

it up for him. That's one of my favorites. I thought you were doing the other, the other big jester where he had to intro the guy. I forgot the guy's exact name, but he was like, uh, he was like, what's your name? He was like, crazy nigga. Um, and he was like, here's like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying that. He was like, no, that's my name. Say it.

So Jake was up there. He was like, all right guys, your next comic, crazy nigga. And then he comes out. He's like, you're going to this white boy call me a crazy nigga. That's fantastic. That's hilarious. How about a one time I brought DiPolo to Ha comedy club, which was L-O-L before L-O-L.

But worse, even. Yeah, worse. Certainly worse. I think it's back up in Adam again. It was laser park. It was a laser tag place and you could tell it was a laser tag place because they still had the layout kind of yeah they let you with a laser gun it was really bad club but I brought to

Paul and the cuz he was at Caroline's and I was like you can get another set over here and the guy hosting I don't know if he still does comedy his name was hog wild yeah he wore a skin milk hog wild, there was a few white guys. Get him milk, or they're wearing their own hats. Yeah, they're on fucking merch before they were ever on stage. He had, his name was, it was a hog wild, and he wore a hat that said hog wild. And he goes, Nick, what do you want me to say for you?

And Nick goes, just bring me up as one nutty fuck. I had an introduction once where it said out, and Nick's gonna make she's a girl. So let's hope she doesn't fuck it up. Oh wow He called you a comic. That's nice I like when I come go your next a comedian's a female I get a jury ready for a lady comedian But I don't know that I was like I can't believe men still do that like I know like what You wouldn't do it on a black comic or an angel.

He's next to my favorite Asian. I 100% would. I would definitely be funny though. But I will say this, dude, if it was a show with all women and there was one guy and he was fifth in the lineup and I was hosting it, I would say, yeah, your next one's a guy, I would. I legitimately would.

It's women and their own stigma, and their own insecurity, they look at it as like, oh, you wouldn't point out that they're a guy. But no, that's the case. It was, I'm sure in the lineup, fifth or sixth in the lineup, other show full of dudes. So I'm kind of make sense to say that.

But the problem with it is there's a different way that we are, when we work up on stage, it's different to when a guy walks up on stage because every time a guy goes, she's a chick, you can see half the audience go, and fold their arms, I'm really not, you can see half the audience go, and fold their arms, they're really not allowed. And then I have to, and I have to like, instead of just going up on just a clean slate

and then starting and building it up. They're gonna know you're a chick as soon as they see you, or they're just like, you're Kelly. No, but the introduction, that's your Irish. That's your Irish. That's your Irish. That's your Irish. So instead of me just starting with an A plus

and then working my way down all plus from there i have to get them to you i think it is i think all here's the thing i think that a lot of the audience in america and maybe canada too i don't know much about that country i don't care for it uh... i'm kidding it's a wonderful country the very polite the guy that got at least one great company the case experience my hometown that's true

i love joking i love can i love you who's a bigger hockey fan than me in america anyways more to us than just hockey joe oh i didn't realize that i think that but a lot of audience in america they see a cut girl come out and they like great here's a

girl and so they're just a bunch but i agree with that but i I'm saying this is a girl does anything more than her being a girl But I think what people do when comics do that they're saying it as though it's a warning They're not like okay, that's actually a big girl. They're like all right this next Can you guys think of this? I have a cigarette right yeah, it's Look at this one what you're doing Look either way you got to earn it like intro doesn't mean shit. You got to earn it Exactly, but we'd rather but you're starting you're starting at a negative. I agree with that I don't agree and here's the thing good. I do famously have a tattoo of my arm

I'm honest with Speaking for the ladies, I have a two-seven offsuit tattooed in my own the idea that tattoo is just play your cards Okay, let's fucking get real dude if you're grasping for that fucking straw right there, what is it? It's a 27 offsuit. Okay, what does that mean? It's a worst hand in poker. Okay, because I've seen a lot,

you have a lot of, you have three card tattoos? I have two. Okay, oh, that one, okay. Yeah, okay, sorry. So either way, it's that because you play the hand your life that you dealt, is that what you had? Yeah, I don't know. I just got a shitty hand in life. Not the worst thing, but that's not the idea.

It's actually a very positive thing. The idea is you can fucking win. You know, it doesn't matter what card you get. All right, you can win. So when you're gratt, when women do that, when you're really grasping at that little moment and going, I'm at a disadvantage, I feel like you're really just saying,

oh, I got a shitty card and you're slumping your shoulders and you're letting that disadvantage take control of you. That's not what we're arguing. Some people do that, I'm sure. All I'm arguing is that when a girl comes out, a large percentage of the audience. I'm not the one that girl comes out. I'm talking about the intro.

If a guy says you're the best, if anyone uses the intro, if anyone uses the intro is an excuse. I mean, they're fucking, no, I do agree that there is a stigma in America that women aren't as funny as guys. And what I say an excuse, I mean they're fucking no, I do I do agree There is a stigma in America that women are as funny as guys and what I say stigma I mean truth and who's fault I think Phil Hamley hilarious Yeah, as a lady guy Is that a common tattoo I've never heard that before no, or you just thought about yourself. Yeah, he's a fucking real ass dude

I know man nothing I'm a lot of people get different you know They get like you know spiderwebs or whatever they get caught. I don't know a lot about tattoo culture I've never been to jail, but I think that's interesting You know this is the first time I've had that you almost didn't get it because it was so quiet that people thought Maybe you weren't trying to be funny and then we realized But hey, we have the English andley has the British setup for humor with jokes. It's like you didn't know he hit you until a second later.

Well that was short-lived. Get it over here. I was just going for an observation. Yeah, I was an observation. All right, well, I'll take it. Can I ask you another opinion of what would you do scenario? Yes, of course. A room full of ideas.

I would quit comedy and do a lot of cardio. God, what? Oh god, I can't wait for you to do that, Lou. yes of course I would quit comedy and do a lot of cardio god what haha oh god i can't wait for you to do that look oh yeah Kelly gets really excited when someone says what she should have she's like I wish I got that

if you could not shake your arms again that would be be the idea. What was the question, sorry. I'm joking, you look great. I know. I know. Dad is definitely heart disease, Kelly. What's the question there, Kelly? What would you do in this scenario? This is something that happened to me a few weeks back, right?

All right. I got booked for a show, which was a showcase. Well, pick your name out. Yeah. Someone was going to be there. That is the thing. Someone was going showcase. Well pick your name out, yeah. That's it. Someone was gonna be there that was gonna watch me. This is someone who has seen me a few times and they've always been really good to me.

And so they were now seeing me at a bit of stage in my career, right? When I turn up, it's a 10 o'clock show on a Thursday night, February. No one's there. It's zero degrees outside. No one is in the audience, bar this one person. It's zero degrees outside.

Look really, really cold. That was a long and then a month ago. It's a February. Oh, February, okay. Thank you. I wasn't listening, yeah, exactly. Now, so no one's in the audience. No one, except for that one guy that came here to watch us and then

they're like, you're up first. And then when I get up on stage the waitress comes over, delivers his food and he had his head down the whole time eating. What? What's wrong with this guy that he's just going through with this audition? Or whatever it is? I now looking back, I wish I had have said, yeah, I'm not doing this. Did he? He saw me do poorly, of course. And I would rather than say. It's not a performance if you're just one person. Yeah, that's not.

He's the only guy in the crowd. Yeah. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, yeah, I did like new stuff. I treated it like an open mic because there was other comics there. Because I was like, I'm not gonna lose faith in stuff that I know works. And also, I want him to see me do better. Now, he saw me kind of do badly. And I'm like, how do I, I wish I hadn't, he hadn't seen that. And I could see him in another point, blah, blah. What are you laughing at? I'm laughing at, I'm laughing at Luke, because he's making a smile.

He's just making these smiles. Because I'm using my hand to talk, because I'm Italian and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's why. Yeah. I know him well. She got it. Spot on. I'm Italian and I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, Fun booth two or three of his friends came in so it ended up being like five people in the audience But what's your kids? What are you doing? This is shitty. I think you should out this person One person out of that Oh We are homophobic twist. Yeah, we are one block away from where the the gay movement started just Check back and enjoy it here What you guys have done like Sam would you you have just said, I'm not going up.

He would have been hooked on that show. Sam was passing that place three years ago. I would have said, this is not a show. I can't do a show for you. I don't even just call you and leave a voicemail. You better off watching a clip, I would say. I said, do you really want me to go on? And I think the idea that they went through with the show,

I mean, most clubs of policy, it's got to be at least eight people or ten people it was a bar wasn't a club yeah this is a bar I just don't have the courage to like say notice shit like that and I'm you know what I mean I like the temperature had to do with the story it was if it was 80 degrees in one guy I would have just brought the heat but like zero degrees means that everyone's home right on a Thursday ones like fuck the summer I'm have really advertised that you were on the show. Well, I only got booked for that day. Some guy wrote a pretty funny thing.

What do you write? They must have heard you were coming. Yeah, okay. That's alright. I didn't feel right that and then say it. Yeah, I know, he said it and then said it and then he heard. Wow, that guy. That guy.

That guy said it. He just said the joke. That guy is genius. He is. This is fun, Joe. I'm having a blast. What are you kidding? I'm having a real nice time. I remember I, I never was a brand new comic. I, I, I did like a, it was like a Caroline's and I had to wait like six hours in line to showcase for March Madness. It must have been like six years ago. I know we, so I had to wait in line. They're like, you had to come back the next day.

So I'm fine. So I came back the next day. I made the mistake of doing an act out for three people. I had to wait like six hours in line to showcase for March Madness. I'm not doing anymore. I know. So I had to wait in line. They're like you had to come back the next day Fine so I came back the next day. I made the mistake of doing an act out for three people I had like one joke that an act out of my life. I don't even tell it anymore. Oh wow It was brutal. Let's hear the joke. I think I think was like that subway story joke I think I did and I acted it. I don't even act it out normally. No, you know you talk it out. No acting ability Dude Sam got dude one time, you know, no acting ability. I'm the job. I do. Sam got dude, I have one one time side note,

mentioning Sam's acting ability. We're telling you we're in the all alone the green room. And it was going over lines with norm. I think it was, dude. And I secretly was videotape again, acting. And then you know about this. You got mad, dude. Like later, I left her like 30 seconds. Like he saw that I was taping him. You like, dude, delete that right now. I was like, no, you're acting, it's hilarious.

You're like, dude, I'm so bad. I don't want anyone to see my acting. It was awesome. Now I deleted it. He made me delete it. Come on, look, that's a real last dude. Should we show him? I saw the fucking anger.

What was he, what was he, what were we doing? You were just doing some fucking lines. It was fucking hilarious. It wasn't even really bad. It was, you just were self conscious. I'm very self conscious. So, my dude, with acting, it's a weird thing, dude, because it's something we're not used to.

And it's something that, even if you take an acting class twice a week, which I was doing for a little while, you do that for four months, you've only taken like 18 acting classes. It's not even like you're taking a lot. Like, I've done comedy every night, two or three times a night, for almost 10 years. You're like a fraud.

So, when you're acting, you go like, dude, I mean, I've done it a couple dozen times. I've acted, you know, it's such a fucking weird, uncomfortable feeling. It is. I imagine how that's how like an actor tries to go to comedy. Because you can't control your, you can't control a situation with your acting. Right. It's different. You're on stage.

You can control a situation there. They've given, there's these people auditioning, like going on auditions, I see the actors who've given their life to acting, and we've given my life to stand up And I'm like what the fuck business do I have being here, you know, right? Right. That's what Lewis said Paying attention I'm very hungover Joe do my best here now What did you get into last night Sam? Yeah, you've been on quite a little bit

Yeah, I'm in pain pain I'll tell you what happened last night We went out after the same in Joe show Mackie and I wait a few people come out with a show by the way But Sam was really good. Yeah, it was really good. I'm a better host and people think dude. I'm not bad You don't go into the audience at all. I know that. No, and you don't even up. You just read did a joke I was hilarious and there's no need to that needs to be addressed in New York City there's this fucking thing in New York that looks up to kill every exactly every fucking host in New York thinks you got to find out I don't give a shit where anybody's from who cares fuck them just

tell jokes so we were I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't believe in you. I don't believe in you. I'm crossing out as an actor right now. No, I don't agree. I think especially in New York City when you're hosting, and especially when there's a style of hosting, when I came up in the watching shows in New York and just watching them at first, you saw guys that came up and they, their job not to just fucking tell jokes, it's their job to connect with the audience and say, hey, I'm your buddy. It's all fucking cool here. You're going to see eight dudes. You might not like two or three of them, but it's fucking cool. I'm right here with you and in order to do that out of a gate cold You have to talk to people you have to say hey, dude. What's your deal?

Where how do you know this chick and I think I when I host the first five to six minutes? I usually do crowd work and then I'll go straight into material for eight to ten minutes as long as you're doing material for ten minutes I have to do the material. Yeah, I'm not making the transition work I'm not saying that I can't make the transition But I do think a good host will be able to go back and forth completely. And a good headline especially, goes back and forth.

It has to be, first of all, a good headline, it doesn't have to do fucking crowd work. You see, Louis doing a lot of crowd work. You see Richard Pryor doing a lot of crowd work. Yes. Karlin doing crowd work. Right now. It has to be, I thought he died.

It has to be at least that was funny that was the job uh... i have to be at least seventy thirty material and it what happens is it's gone too far either way i see how many hoes how would you go further that's what i said it was it depends on the show if you get like ten people in the crowd you can't just write it to me here you put too many hosts in new york do ten minutes of crowd work and the audience is not heard one single joke and the whole audience

The whole audience goes oh, this is what happens we talk they talk we have a dialogue I Hate and this this is we're thinking this way. I have to be a good host Artifiquois graded to in this is he is an unbelievable, but you have to understand the audience You have to take them to a level where they're enjoying that, but not even enjoying it too much. Because if they like it too much, the message you're sending them is, hey, it's about you. Where are you from? Exactly. Yeah.

Is it your birthday? How do you know him? And they go, oh, it's about me. And then when you stop making it about them, you start making it about yourself or politics or some other shit. They go, fuck this dude. We want to be about us because that's human nature in general. We always want everything to be about us.

And here's the thing though. I don't think the audience is smart enough to know when they're not supposed to talk. But I don't think you have to do crowd work, but for Joe to completely denounce crowd work as a MC is poposterous. I think it's not necessary. It's not going to, because you go anywhere else

in the country. It depends. You go anywhere else in the country where they're not all tourists. In New York, it's nice to find out where people are from. All right, hey, they're from Norway, they're from whatever. Yeah, you go to Kansas City The MC does not come out and go where you're from they go we're from here. What's that? No, but they you different side you different type but they depends on the size of the people

Yeah, I think size of the crap you have 10 people you can't go right into crowd work. Yeah, well no No, I think I disagree I think you can't go right you can't go right into If you're doing a soda weekend at Caroline's in your hosting you can just go into material You don't matter. Yeah, but yeah, but if you're doing a small crack I think a few riffs up top at least Can't go right to material, but yeah, I'm not bashing crowd work I think I think it's a scale. I think some people are great. I'm bashing making hard

Rules for comedy that sounds I will say crowd work is easier than material If you're gonna be on the other week, yeah, I mean if you can just go like I can do crowd work all day long I have no problem doing crowd work. Is it easy thing? No, I bomb. Okay. Well yeah, anything's easy if you're gonna bomb I know it kills I'm not all I'm saying is in New York City More than anywhere else all in New York City every fucking comic that comes up thinks that's what you do That's what you do. This is the only place that's that and comics more than not just do ten minutes of crowd work and go okay here comes the show and you then if you're first you're the first one telling you know of course I've never noticed that's because you only work the seller dog but I'm gonna go to some other places I've never noticed

that but that's that's bad car where you're gonna mix it up of course that's what that happens you have to do all the time in New York. You have to do, obviously, you have to get them to like, okay, now sit back and listen to some jokes. Yeah, before you bring up the first comment. All the time it happens in New York, it's a fucking epidemic. Yeah.

All right. Well, that's the end of the show. Next question. Yeah, that was the way we got you answer a fucking question. Bombing, done. Next question. We need to do some reads so Some what some reads when you do ads. Oh, geez Maybe while we've

You guys have you guys see hold on I got it Amazon sweet and you know Oh, wait, you know what can we do you have Sanford? I have a sound effects board that I downloaded on my phone So yeah, give me something to read. Give me the bathroom, you got the bathroom inside. All right guys, if you're a fan of the show, you can support the show right above the latest episode at rikas.com slash Robert Kelly. You'll notice a few links.

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Inexpensive. That's what affordable means. Headphones. They have multiple styles, colors. Seven styles. Nine actually. Nine. Nine. I'm sorry. Yeah, actually you're es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es es que es que es que es que es es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es que es No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x1

This is the 3x1 signal that means you can already prove that you're the 3x1 in half you're just asking for the line Is it separate? 3x1, 3x1, 3x1 Ah no no no no Dominos! Pizza! Okay

Alright, we got some new requests and things to talk about Okay Are we done? Can we move back to the show or we have more? Was it all three? Amazon Gameplay. Okay. Some guy wrote, I'd like to hear from you all, what it took to get you to this point.

How long were you doing open mics? Really? What one superpower would you want, or if you could kill anyone, and no one would know who and how Anyone on the show or anyone in the world someone wrote is Kelly still banging a DJ No, we broke up Kelly this really you broke up Can we talk about that? I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, it's all right. Ah, geez Who broke up with who who broke up with who I did you broke up with him?

It was kind of loaded what Phil I got to bring you up to speed Amazon is great and Kelly broke up with her boyfriend Oh, I didn't know you had a boyfriend Kelly. Yeah short lived Who who tell me can you just months or so? Six months. I'm time for me. Who is what was his occupation? Oh, sorry, does that constitute credit? I like the other question. I like that other question. Well, you're not hosting. I am. I got voted in. Thank you, List of maniacs, listeners, listeners, and, and go, mitz. I like the other question where it said, how did we get to where we are? What was his occupation, Kelly? He's a music producer.

Oh, he was a DJ. DJ. DJ. Yeah. Radio or like weddings. like everything like you do But I've been like made a lot of music and stuff like that. Oh everything FM. I am whatever you need it sports radio Where did you meet him? I don't know he's gonna listen to this. I got a listen to this. He was a great guy and Kelly and sir Who have what you know your name is, you're better than Kelle. You can do a lot better.

Name is Lou. And you can do a lot better than Kelle. What is it? What is it? Why did you break up? Tell me honestly. There's a few things that happened that he would do that didn't make me feel good about myself.

Where are the bruises? No, I'm nothing like them. What do you do? So are naked. Oh wow. Wow. So intense. He may have made a few references about my white.

Oh boy. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, that is one thing for people to do a joking around. I mean, clearly Lewis is a very sensitive person. Yeah. Really? That is so.

Were you saying something about your arms or your elbows? Break it up. Some guy did right by the way. He didn't want to hear any of the Kelly Lewis saga. He said we get it Kelly girls are mean. I mean guys are mean, which is funny because Kelly said it's boring radio, but what's actually happening is the guy is annoyed by you. Yeah, it's you. You're the one who bitches.

It's just a joke. I can bitch it is about you like Lewis is funny. Kelly, it's four dudes that are trying to fuck you. Trust me, I promise you. Kelly, they're not thinking it's boring. Talk to me, babe. Talk to me, babe. All right.

We have a new segment here in the You Know What Dude called Love Corner with Canadian Phil. Canadian Phil. And it only lasts 150 seconds. Go Phil. So that's so he made that so Hurtful that he would make Disguise that he would disguise it in ways where it was sad like it was okay to smash a donut ever You've been bitch stop eating also you subtle

It was really subtle like he made a comment If I had to make a comment where he was like He had a had a bad he said he a comment where he was like, he had a head, he said he does MMA, so he was like had a bad injury. Oh, look at you, she could have fought him. He does MMA. Did he say you're out of his weight class? Wait, wait.

And he said that he wanted to lose weight. I mean, I mean, I had to work up with you. I had not, well, I thought he was fine. Like, he was like, oh, I'm not having my weight. I need to lose weight, dead weight. Ha, ha, ha. I made a great, I liked it. I made a very similar joke a second ago. I didn't hear it. Yeah, that's true. I didn't hear it

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You need more you need more confidence that that is What's the fucking loud on this podcast I'm doing my best. I heard I do let's keep on talking over Phil's question. Hey, it's Canadian love corner with Canadian Phil So he so he made and then how did you respond if he made a thing where he was like He had put on a lot of weight after his injury and then he had lost a lot of it and he was like I still want to lose like 10 pounds I thought he looked fine. I didn't think that he lost 190 It's kilograms. They can't. Stick it a killer.

On the host. So he was like, I just want to do that. And I was like, maybe I do two. And he was like, how about if we both lose 10 pounds, I'll pay for us both to go to Puerto Rico for holiday? I was like, okay. You could with the Puerto Rico for losing 10 pounds? Yeah.

But then. I lost a fuck of 10 pounds. Well then there was comments that kept on coming through where it was like, so are we going? Have you lost a light? I tell you, are you going to pay for my trip to Puerto Rico because of this rain? That would just, I didn't feel, anything is, I get it.

Like, I've been drinking die coaks since I was five. I know that I have issues with weight. I understand. No one needs to point it out to me, but it's my issue. So I don't need a guy that's supposed to be like my fucking soldier yeah exactly yeah pointing it out because I am well aware of it but you don't know about the horizontal stripes thing I think he should have been the wimpy if you wobble away okay they don't get it that's what I love I didn't know it was Jack. It was pretty good.

I thought it was pretty funny. Kelly laughed. Well, this was Love Corner with Canadian Phil. That's it. So, uh. I know it was other things while, but I don't want to have to deal with like a fun call or text message. Yeah.

You know, I have to deal with that. Phil, you still heartbroken, buddy boy? Uh. I'm trying to mess it up. I had to break up, but I'm doing great. I've never been better. Yeah, but you don't love. Yeah. I'm an emotional cripple. You go up here, girlfriend? guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a feeling you were you were stretching a little bit out for sympathy just a little bit I think so I am serious very it was classic. Hamley lady like behavior I Didn't know I was heartbroken. I was heartbroken. I feel a little bit better now That's good. I'm glad to hear that yeah, I would go for him right now And if I take in part in that and making you feel better

So you were my you were 100% absolutely my go-to man I've rocked up well Why would you look at me while you say that? No, I don't know. I feel like I called you a lot, dude. You know you were great But Joe and I Joe and I met a couple times. We did oh, so I'm so fake this guy. I slept over Phil I'm fucking your ex girlfriend Sorry, I don't know what happened. What happened? It was long dog. It was It was long distance and...

Oh, that's stupid. Come on man. No, I don't know if it's an issue, but I have quite long distance relationships. Because then I can work and just do... Because you're mostly distant as well. Oh Kelly, I don't remember Phil taking any pot shots at you. During Love Corner with Canadian Phil. A new segment. I like how Kelly was like talk to me

Phil. It's like I was lo and just that was stupid that was dumb because I've done it before too It's you could you disconnect from them physically and then when you see him again It's like I gotta like remember how to wait is to fuck you and stuff like it's all it's very weird physically You forget how to fuck we didn't have that you know you have a nice little Like Lego was in your stomach stomach What was that pussy when I get really You don't forget have a fuck no, no, that wasn't the problem But I don't know yeah, but I feel better. Thank you for asking. I'm glad you feel better now Sam You feel great because you hated your girlfriend the whole time. Yeah, I'm a very weak emotional person. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, no, I like to lie a great time with her she's great my favorite he loved her wrong time I love it I love it let's took her at racism yeah yeah tell me one more time with those arms you're gonna ride those waves home I just I need to look a flight for a second. Well, it's safe to say Sam is drunk. Uh, you got me out with a hang of what do you want? Two and a half beers. Now, what's fun, I liked about Sam's relationship, is I had to convince you to start dating this girl.

She likes the nicks, she's concerned about you, she's Asian, and then you're like, I think I want to break up with her, and I was like, you should break up with her, fuck her. She's a piece of shit. I didn't know I was against the breakup. I was like, she sounds so nice. I don't know why I still don't know why you break up with her fuckers. I didn't know I was against the breakup. I was like she sounds so nice Uh, I don't know why I still don't know why you broke up with her. Sam is damaged. He seems like a real-ass Jew, but he's He's very very damaged

Yeah, I really I gotta be honest if a woman watched nothing to do with me. That's the woman I want Yeah, that's fuck up. You see see has good taste. That's how it is. That's how it is One of the time one of the time I love that that was the thing of the podcast what was that I missed it everyone was talking Sam said if he only wants to be with a woman that hasn't wants nothing to do with them And I'm like, yeah, that's because she has good taste. That's not bad. The thing of the podcast Yeah, I stop time for fucking that. This is why handlies relations didn't work. He is no self-aware Nothing but self-awareness. That was great. Stripes comment was a lot funnier. Yeah, I had a few Lou, what were you gonna say there pal? Um, but I mean that's my host if I thank you pal

I mean that's it you you always want it's the chase dude. It's even like dude. I used to cheat on all my ex girlfriends You you always want it's the chase dude. It's even like dude I used to cheat on all my ex-girlfriends. Yeah But it wasn't even to I would end up fucking these girls because I at that point you would almost feel bad and I didn't want to like Go through the motions and go through the chase and get the yes and then be like well I don't actually want to fuck you so you do it anyway But it was more about the acceptance and more about making it feeling like the sexy one. And that wears off very quickly once you're in a relationship. And especially if the girl is super into you. Right. You don't have that. If I'm way more into a girl than she is into me. Yeah. That will keep me

in for a very, very long time. But as soon as that switch happens and she's way into me, then I kind of disconnect. See, I don't have that. I think that I think that work on. Yeah. I am. I had that. I had an ex- I don't have that I think that I think that work on I'm sorry ex-girlfriend college. I was really into her and then the switch happened when she was really into me and then I kind of lost interest Yeah, I had I Need drama I get bored I got super bored with the girls not crazy. Yeah I can never love a man like I only tell them ever Holy like looking at him going wow I think I can this dude, because I'm really scared of marriage is when

he doesn't like me. He doesn't like me as much as I like him. Like when he- It is no finger receptive. It's almost all feeling in all of his upper epidermal area. What are you saying, Kelly, sorry about these animals. We're not animalie. It goes to like if you're into someone who's not into you it all goes back into how you feel about yourself so. Is this about Sotter? Who said

that I did like his girlfriend? I met her like once she said she didn't like you that was the thing. Why would she hate me she doesn't like me. I think she's joking ever. Looked in the mirror or her self. Yeah, she may have listened to one That was the I think she's joking ever Looked in the mirror She may have listened to one minute of the podcast Wow that came across as mean spirit I keep I keep letting her fucking speak while you animals not you Phil Jealous Phil love corner with Canadian feel it's real I do last dude tag team just warriors. Yeah. These two guys. Louis actually just reached out for a bump and Sam didn't give it to him and it was really awkward and he kept it out there.

Yeah. That was really embarrassing. We connected. We got it. Go, Mike. You're not. Who's going to be flying away? Who's going to be flying away?

Who's going to be flying away? Who's going to be flying away? Who's going to be flying away? They fly away like flies. No, they're like roaches. They're half roaches, half humans. They're going. Yeah, that's better. Dirty. Someone would look exactly like pat and Oswald

He's got like he hit face you hate like a backstreet boy and like a ghost bus is T-shirt Why don't you take it down that's a ghost bus is t-shirt Kelly why don't you take it down that's fucking dark see that was gonna be one of the all-time bombs and then you just we could have just I could have just let her sit in that for an hour and a half she would have kept on going because Kelly doesn't have anything where she shuts off so she just keep on going and I was helping the podcast there by cutting her off there I think that was a good move Hey you did that for me thank you baby

you're welcome I did it too. Phil, I think you guys feel like Kelly. Do you have a serious chemistry going on? You look chemistry. Yeah. You'll have to do it in the bottom bunk of your bed, but I think. Don't you skinny for me, any guys? Really?

Yeah. Too skinny. He was just going to say that. I'm skinny. Wow. Wow. Did you, I'm, I'm too skinny. Yeah, I need to gonna say that. Wow. Did you, I'm Tuscany? Yeah, I need to pick up. It's just boring, Kelly, really?

It's boring. It's better when it's funny, not when you just go nuts. I'm not entertained. You have to look good together, because ten is my favorite number. You're the zero, both shapely and in your career. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah someone who's kind of strong and someone looks like a change of light bulb feel I want to get on the step-light. I you know, yeah, feel could change your light bulb if you had Yeah, I don't couldn't DJ a wedding, but I'm there I'm a big fan of the face your hair though. Oh right. Yeah, I have the same facial hair sort of they call facial fill It sounds weird, but

I'm glad Phil single again, man. I think I'm gonna say I think Phil is too good for his girlfriend Really? I think so too. I'm gonna say it. I think he's too good for this podcast frankly No, I'm joking of course not it's vice versa. We broke up with who Phil ah She broke up with me. Oh Why were you pulling her fat a bunch? Oh, no, no, no. Now you're with a colliner at all. No. No, you can't really really. I think it was the long, yeah,

I think it was the long one. Long distance. It's tough. I have to grow up in my, it's honestly, it's been rough. I had to do it easier. It's not. How long ago did you break up?

A month ago? Oh shit, yeah, how long were you together? Wow, we have three years. Three recent breakups. Two years. Four. Wow, four have two years three recent two years. Yeah, four Well four breakups Chris that yeah, that's gonna two years man. That's what that's a well Tom is actually this is rougher than The one I've been broken up with are you doing a house? Yeah, it sucks, you know, every now and I think

I've heard it sucks It is I don't have that hate you know that when you get break broken up with you don't you have that you wish are the best to me Yeah, I wish her for like good time. She's probably hating me right now, which he definitely is she's listening to isn't she most likely Yeah, oh boy, like to when you look in the mirror now you see that weird thing on your lip Do you know I'm getting your move? I may never do in the process. You don't have one my ex girlfriend You have in your lip. I got a birthmark right here. What is that? When Bobby called you Gorbachev's mouth I got a birthmark right here. What is it?

When Bobby called you Gorbachev's mouth, I literally nearly shit myself. It was one of the funniest things I ever heard of my entire life. Why are you getting it removed? Not removed, it's less lightened. I'm offended as someone with herpes. How do you... That was the best. Scopa didn't ever respond.

Well, what did you do? I'm thinking about get my whole penis removed at this point Now I don't have that business medication every day for I take medication zero days. I have no money So how do you get like how much is it? He's praying. I don't know. You want to spring for some? Well, like it's not covered by any kind of insurance. I don't even. You want to spring for some? It's not COVID-borne kind of insurance, right? I don't even get out, ever since I haven't had an outbreak since I quit drinking. I do a lot of yoga and techno, huh?

Yeah, I feel like a million bucks. If you have an outbreak while you were performing one night, was that terrible? Like, if you have it on your phone. When I first had, I never had it on my face. I just said, I have dick herpes. When it first happened, it was horrible, because the first outbreak, your body doesn't know what to do.

So you had like, I had like 60, not 60, but probably 25 open sores of like this. Oh, I was like bleeding. And I was walking. I cry. Oh, I cried like from pain. It was horrible. And soda, this is my favorite soda.

Soda goes. I love this, I love this. He had a couple of lines, yeah. Yeah. He, uh, Kelly keeps saving the day on some of these bombs. That was in a bomb Lewis laugh. Kelly laugh. He laughed at Kelly's. I did not say it. It was a great job. I shook my head. I didn't care for it.

Yeah, you never did. Get it. Get your drunk. You know Phil, some of his handle breakups differently. Okay. Real assed you. No, so do I was like walking around. I could barely walk. I was walking with my legs spread the way Phil stands on stage And I was walking with my leg spread and it was just her tail Kelly gets on stage every Every every step I need to break up with you fucking assos Gladly I'm not gonna lie, if I had herpes, I would fucking probably just keep that a secret.

I'm not gonna keep it a secret, right? I've never told anyone and now I just did. Oh, my life. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna if I had herpes I would fucking probably just keep that a secret I'm not gonna keep it a secret right? I've never told anyone and now I just did Yeah, my life. No, but I really I truly would dude I remember cuz I I don't know that I've aged me but I'm extra off than at HPV And I remember and I was young at the time But I was very embarrassed about it and I would never discuss it I would never like until it became a little bit older and I just now if I got herpes I would just fucking laugh at it would never like until it came a little bit older. And I guess now if I got herpes, I would just fucking laugh at it and we bond over it or something.

But the immediate thing is you told, when you had your first epic, you told your buddy. And it's soda, who's that even a real friend to anybody? He just likes everyone. Didn't say to say something like, oh man, I know how you feel. I thought I had a necessity. Yeah, he goes, no, yeah.

I was like, I got herpes, man. I was down and I went to kill myself. And he's like, I know how you feel. He's like, I had a scare one time. And I was like I got herpes man. I was like I was down and I went to kill myself And he's like I know how you feel. He's like I had a scare one time And I was like that's the equivalent of me being like yeah your dad's dead I know how you feel my dad went on vacation once Joe I had a scare one time and then everything went perfect in my career I mean it was a nightmare they they scabbed over and then they would fall off and be open again It went on for like six or seven weeks

And then they would fall off and be open again. It went on for like six or seven weeks. It was like seven weeks? Did you go to a doctor right away? No, no, I didn't go, it was like Christmas Eve. You went to a young soda. You don't need a doctor, you had a dad. So did you, when did you go to a doctor? If you're not broken out,

and you have a lot of time in that. Wait, this was Christmas Eve, we just passed over that too. It was Christmas Eve, yeah. It was Christmas Eve, your Christmas was ruined. Did your family thing, you had like AIDS? Something, you know? No, one of my family, I didn't. I literally want to cry right now. Did I make it? I want to cry for you. Christmas Eve, dude. It's supposed to be the best time of year.

Not for the Jews, Sam. But for us, the best time of the year. Sad time. And you literally, and you're, you're, you're here in New York. I was in New York. Yeah. Well, I know. I mean, Christmas Eve, I was in my family. I was in my parents house. Yeah. you pinpointed who gave it to you. It's one of two girls. I thought it was it was the park girl Yeah, I think I fucked a girl on the playground. She told me she had herpes But then I didn't have the outbreak to like six months later Information period or something. Yeah, sometimes it happens But I also had sex with a different girl like three days before which makes more sense

But Joe so she said she had herpes. Do you think that she would like warned you because she was like currently having an outbreak? No, she said she didn't have an outbreak, but at that point, I had already, where you were in a family. She told me, no, she told me I was erect and we were both naked, we were about to fuck,

like we're literally about to fuck it. She was like, here's the thing, but at that point, she could have told me that she was a man and I would have fucked her. Yeah. I would have had a hug. I knew you were in harder. What about with your girl now, like you guys

fuck using condoms? What if you didn't have a outbreak? Condoms. You're really put a heart. That really piss me off. That's an important question. You're basically hard at this. I'm so curious what you do now.

I wouldn't want to get it. I'm curious too, but I don't want to get it. I'm curious too But I don't want to give any boys herpes but Where's that bandana We wear a joke and you wipe your herpes in that bandana. We wear a we wear a condom And then if I didn't wear a condom she probably wouldn't get about we're just being on the safe side now because the thing is Eventually we'll get married and then we'll get rid of the condoms whatever but do you think it's probably at some point

but here's a thing uh... the resentments if i was to give her herpes and then we break up then is that resentment and just fucking hatred and then it's like a whole thing right you don't want to give somebody herpes that you've love are you and i want to do it anyway but if you don't have an outbreak like what it like when you spoke to a doctor about if you don't have an outbreak in your fuck her the likelihood of her getting it even that's very unlikely and then the longer you have it the less uh... but if you have that if you like if you have the medication though you could

fuck her without a condom and it'll be fine because there's no traces of it when you're a medication yeah for the most part i think so uh... but right now we're just i don't, Norman has a bit of a, I don't mind having sex with the condom. Obviously, it's preferable without, but. I mean, too. I mean, we should go like that, you know, before that.

Well, with relationship sex with the condom, gets fucking tough, right? You get that one time, you get to have sex with the condom with a check. The first time, you're like, yeah, this fucking great dude, fuck condom. What do people care about condoms? Man, condoms are great.

And then you try to fuck her the second time, you're like, oh oh get away from you pig Like seriously like what he says to the girl Are we gonna pretend like how I don't relate to that whatsoever if I if I'm just so relieved If you have sex with girl you're not in relationship with and you weren't a condom you get to take the condom off You're like no way Didn't get any the relief out ways Spanic I'll hyperconjure and I definitely would literally I mean we did an AIDS test on Legion of Skanks

Yeah, I have a con drink. I could never wear the condom and I convinced myself that I'd AIDS We're literally we spent we spent the whole episode we in hour and a half episode We took the AIDS test halfway through and then it's like a 30% or 30 minute Time period we have to wait for the results to come in and in your head You're just playing like a dude. I mean how many takes have I fucked fucked with that economy my life and I dude did one girl jump out at you Hey, a bunch of girls dude how hard for would it be to that girl's parents if she if they knew of all the girls you fucked They're not as the one that jumps up Ruba Bob is in the house

See on the phone he's up. He's I don't know. Why are you fucking call us Bobby? What are you fucking? TV show got picked up Fucking what do you call us? Fucking Charlie's Bobby He's in the chat room? Officially, all the media came out today

Wow Good job Bobby Hey Bobby Oh Good job Bobby Get me a job as an extra Come on, and here it comes, quite tiles. What was I saying?

But anyway, my girlfriend does not have herpes, which is nice. So I don't mind having condoms sex. It's not, doesn't bother me. Then this time when you really think about it, you'd rather. But how much money do you spend a week on condoms? I go to condomdepo.com and you can get like a condom for like really short money, buy them in bulk. Those finger condoms.

What's that? Those finger condoms. Have you guys ever had a condom break in a girl's little cheat? By the way, for those listening home, I am throwing the bomb down at the fill. I didn't want you to think that I'm not. What's the question, Kel? Have you guys ever had a condom? A condom break in a girl's little snatches, which you said, but I will rephrase that.

Have you ever had a condom break inside of a girl? Yeah, I did and I was I remember having sex with her and then all of a sudden just felt really good and I was like wow This kind of says really good right now I told this to my chick once I was like let me tell you something if a guy She said she was a calm axe boyfriend came inside me one time because the condom broke and you know I apologize It is literally like you're in the fucking dark and cave for a year and then bright sunlight comes over your eyes It is a such a different such a better feeling. Yeah, you fucking know Okay, so any due to pretend that you didn't know that the condom broke no what you do is you get six seven

What's in the Sometimes it's so wet that it takes us. I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I I had a condom full of in me once and when he took his dick out Obviously what soft after it came and then it was in me and I made him go in and fish it out I just went to when the shoe came off wait Keep that band-in over there He laughed at the bomb No, you have to joke and by the way Adrian's laughs don't hold time. I did that. Yeah. I agree I agree with the laughs don't count. Oh, I agree. way Adrian's laughs don't have time. I did that. Yeah, I agree I agree

Yeah, go my laughs don't count go my laughs don't count intern laughs Don't you have a you have intern go my go might isn't intern for hammer fisting for Lewis. Yeah, oh just for Lewis or for the podcast not me personally. Okay, actually matter We be my personal assistant intern. What is this? I want to get back to the show here. What is this? He after he came of course he went soft Actually, Maddie, will you be my personal assistant intern? Wait, what is this? I want to get back to the show here. What is this? He after he came of course he went soft. I stay hard for another day and a half after I come I'm in there. I'm hard for the next year and love that's a lot sure everybody But then it fell off and then we took it out this never happened before the very top bit where this boom kind of has room to move Reds of our tip that that oh well done

It fell off. Phil Hanley is a good guy. I'm trying to think of the words. A little round circle on the top was full enough. So it was actually, it's lucky, spurred. Talk about a new one in the haystack. Went like, boom, and just burst a hole into the top of it. A bottle of time, I swear to God, I don't know what you just said.

Yeah, I spaced out. A little bit of the condom was lost inside. Inside of out. A little bit of the condom was lost inside. Inside of me, a little bit of condom was lost inside of me. Could you could see the hole at the very, very top? Yeah. I've done that. I've had to go, my fingers up there and get the condom back out. Yeah, yikes.

I had to wait out. I had to go to toilet. Sounds like a spacious gal. Chris, you're fine. Yeah, I'm killing. I'm killing it. What? Is that a bomb or was that a joke? I wasn't a job. Oh, I can never tell with you. I said

I take that as a compliment. I appreciate it Do I most six stories out plenty of my ex was hammered my ex remember LA you only met her co you met Ellie totally say your name course. Go on No, okay, I want you. I should what are you doing? You fucking assholes your cop blocking the podcast All right, look I'll tell the story Lewis get off your phone you Chick is getting home right now from San Diego I've been a single father for five days and I want to make sure that she's not having issues getting into the apartment Yeah, come on, Joe you've been single for five days. No, she's was San Diego. I had the baby by myself for five full days

That's not what I call a real I thank you very much for all man. We're handling little sensitivity You know what shake my red relationship Phil Canadian Rattle. That is a real last dad doing a podcast when you're solely Responsible for the baby He's called he's called all right. Here comes Bobby comes boy. Oh boy. I'm very nervous Thanks for getting some of the ring in there Chris Hello, is this Roberto Kelly? You're on the you know what dude podcast This is Robert Kelly

Hey Joe you got to speak into the phone So bring it on Oh, do I? He goes Bobby do I have to talk into the phone Yes you do Yeah, you have to talk into the phone for me to hear you.

Fucking scopo idiot. What? I'm very proud of you guys. No you don't have to do that dude. That's coming through. You have to talk into the phone. This is really. Alright I'm getting yelled at Bobby. I'm so glad I can't hear Lewis. And Kelly. Kelly is really yuckin' it up here. i can't hear a little and kelly kelly is really uh... yuckin it up here

i know she's at her little bit of the couch actually getting along with surprising she missed the first the final bobby only chained in for thirty eight seconds what he said he said this is how he knows that you're only chimed in the last thirty seconds because they got along for thirty eight seconds now because he had been fighting

for most of the show and kelly even told me before the show to break up any fight that happens between them really i did yes yes i think she did yeah but i i read it around i'm glad you're well i'd she didn't say don't tell anybody. She said break up the fight. Yeah, it wasn't a secret. It wasn't a secret. I was just like keep it trying to move in. I feel good

It was a little it was a little slow at first just like the way when you host and then And then we've really picked up since then it's gotten it's getting hot's got spicy uh... especially because we're talking about herpes and condoms breaking and uh... kelly's a break up just went through a break up of course she did yeah the guy called her fat bobby it no it wasn't the elastic interpants like you're thinking luis just bomb i know you didn't hear it luis just yeah he called her he he he criticized her for being a little overweight bomb i know you didn't hear it the was just

yet call their he he he criticized it for being a little overweight according to her it's a bobby that's that's insensitive how do you be as a band-in-a-day uh... uh... fill in just so we should UPS a bomb danna to you

Killin' in the carabee. Hey Bobby Bobby. Yes, congratulations buddy. Oh Thank you very much guys No, just Kelly. Yeah, Kelly sucking up to you. Thank you. Thank you Kelly You're welcome, I care Bobby congrats man. That's from a that's for an actual comic that's Phil Phil doesn't know what he's congratulating you for the yeah the he's show got picked up Joe he thought it was losing weight he put like to grads Bobby it's Sam or El congrats man thank you very much Sam's a comic in New York it's so much fucking you fat fuck what you say Bobby Lewis was yelling something dumb?

I don't appreciate that kind of racial undertone on my show. Listen, hey, Joe, I'm going to Rulber and you're going to be here in a couple weeks. Brandy Allen is sitting next to me. He's very excited. Oh, boy. I think he's cute. I like his hair. He always makes fun of it. I think it's sexy.

You guys should make out. You said that he likes your hair. He thinks it's cute, even though you always make fun of it. Even though you say you look like a nickel. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't know if you can say you look like a nickel. I'm going to draw you inside that. He said hello.

Oh, that's a nice response. Bobby, everybody here just broke up. Sam, Phil, Kelly, and Scopo all going through breakups. me and Lewis, and we want to get you in, we're all going to break up with our ladies. I'm not breaking up with my lady why not what's my life what's the wife swap

yeah i'm not what i'm the first of all i'm not opposed to that i'm not opposed to half of that i'm not opposed to half of that i just don't want to lose this fucking awful uncircucised 19 color jacked near my wife. I'm circumcised. Oh, okay, then I'm cool with it. Bobby also we have a new segment on the show called Love Corner with Canadian Phil. The relationship Phil, isn't it? No, it's Love Corner with Canadian Phil. love corner with canadian fill relationship

now it's it's love corner with canadian fill so do you have any uh love questions for canadian fill hit me hit me bad when a girl touches your she sees your neck and it feels he's stuffing food and do his face right now I think you might have cut out now I reckon hang up on purpose I said can you hear me now I can hear you I said no are you shutting me up no not at all Phil is on his edge of his seat here I'm on the edge of my seat man. Come on, Zellog. One over the top with and some bleep. Oh boy, you're cutting in and out, Bob.

What are you doing here? Dead. Dead. I'm not fucking with you at all. I can hear you now, but it cut out when you said the thing. I'm not fucking with you. I swear I'm not that kind of asshole. That's probably the podcast God. Cutting it out like a fool of myself. Listen. I love you guys. Guys are the best. Joe, you're doing a great job. I'm so glad you

won me too. I haven't made too. List of Mania. Right now we just hear fucking little screaming and the level is five seconds. Wait, do you hear the new podcast, real-ass podcast? I recorded a pilot today, my demo. That's what I can't hear him.

Kelly, you're not sad. What can you say? It's a camera on her. I mean, don't move it. Can you say yes in the camera right now? Do you think my arm's a bit... It's back off, Lou! Listen, you guys are doing a great job.

J-O, awesome job. I gotta go. I'm getting gelato. No sugar, no grains, dude. What's going on? Yeah, I fell off that fucking wagon around, fucking six days ago. I'm gonna eat in like a fucking retard since I've been here. Wait a minute what live rabbits i lie i'm not gonna tell them i went snorkeling they're gonna attack me

that's all right my business no that's cool that you went that's cool that you went snorkeling i have a save the manatee sticker on my car that's good he went snorkeling i have a shame Manatee's sticker on my car I should fucking a rubble ray just sent me up for a fat joke Oh Oh

Oh, I didn't know Ray knew how to set up a joke I think that I have no Ray knew how to set up a joke The last joke he set up was when he went to the barber I said the last joke that Ray set up was when he went to the barber i said the last joke that race that was when he went to the barber last show that was when he went to the barber the audience is going to love this but every joke i say you repeat what did you say? the audience is going to love this every joke?

why does that become fucking joke interpreter? I don't know We need an Australian joke interpreter for Kelly Bobby, I'm gonna wave tomorrow. I saw seen a few weeks. Oh, yeah, man. Good luck out there. Don't get asses. Okay You're officially bisexual no bro it's for us oh no don't say that do what now what fine what did you say sorry i think so you're in film you should shave that fucking 5 o'clock shadow

I will Kelly's into it yeah I'm into it yeah you can't you can't wear a sweater you have to get a t-shirt that looks like a sweater I'm actually wearing a t-shirt right now I got the like I got my arms out yeah it's got really nice arms arms out. Yeah, it's got really nice arms. I'm not saying, Ray's giving me shitty jokes to tell you, and I'm not killing it. You only hear the shitty joke, Ray just... Whoa! Ray just said, Kevin, me need to open up for you if you know what I mean. That's not bad. That's not bad.

Ain't no nickel joke. Hey Joe, on the poster, they actually photoshopped your feet. That one, that one was bad. No, they didn't. Joe saves on that bad. Alright, whatever. Listen, I gotta go. Take it easy. You guys are doing a great job. Thank you Kelly, to congratulate me on the show. You're welcome, Dylan. Do you know a new last week that I got picked up?

And I couldn't say anything? Kelly, would you stop it? We're trying to get the momentum back. Let him go. Hey guys, I'll talk to you later. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I Is like a fucking joke rock. Yeah, that's why you won man All right, I'll talk to you guys ready go fuck yourself. I'm out. Bye. Bye. Bye Bang all right. We're the hell were we Jesus Christ condoms unhappy Boy coming inside which are the sales out of that one Wow, sir. Well, we had a we had a we had a thing go in there for a while. By the way Did everyone just miss Koko saying he really took the sales out of that one?

It's not even a statement. Yeah, is that an expression? No, he met the wind out of our sales Whatever it's like the sales out of it language. No, I'm from Queens. I'm a little slow. Are you from I didn't know you're from New York? Yeah, okay. Oh you guys have never met before? We met a court man. We just haven't had a yeah I didn't know you were from New York. Yeah, okay. Oh you guys have never met before Madden we just haven't had a yeah, we know We just doesn't ask people about them. A latest. Yeah You should ask me if you can ask a question. Yes, you're welcome to ask a question since you voted for me supposedly Thank you. I don't buy that I fucking did far. Oh, thanks Doug. Lewis you all right right You got a big dick growing out of the side of your head some people call me a dickhead Classic was that a sincere laugh? No, you're kidding me. That was a normand

You know this guy what's the question you got there Kelly this guy. I mean feel someone like you you were like you know Canadian Phil yeah, relationship Phil. Oh, hit me. You're a question. All right, so I got hit you. You're someone who I would not normally go for because I don't think that you're in within my league. Oh, you're certainly not. No one, do you think he's out of your league? Like he's a good looking for you.

Yeah, I think he's like very like, he's good looking refined, good looking, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Act to money Good looking. Bob. Yeah. Act money, food. Yeah. Food. What?

Someone in your like, I don't know. With someone like you go for like a girl that was kind of like a little bit older. Phil, when you go out with Kelly. You know what I mean? Yeah, I absolutely. Why I can't. What would it take?

If you're asking to Phil hates himself, the answer is yes. I mean, I think she's asking you out No, no, no, well, we wouldn't we would have a date would you go like that? Would you go out of the fill on a date if it fell want to go see a movie get some buttered popcorn with some corn dog extra extra butter Play with your food, but come on Jesus Sam comes out of the bullpen.

He's a spirit. I didn't hear it. He referred to your fupa. You're fed up or pussy area. Boy, oh boy. I always thought that was the gunt. Wow. You take it up a tie, Kelly.

You can't see it home, but Sam is laying back with his feet up now. I have to read bust it up I got in the bathroom like seven times. Are you shit no spewing? Yeah, you're a disgrace get the fuck out of there Anyway, can you give the bomb to Anna that's three times over that she's doing I didn't I don't even know when Kelly's Talking or telling Joe. All right, so Kelly back to the question. Would you would you be interested in a date if Phil asked you out on a date? Well, I don't know for each other's types. Kelly wants to day Phil so bad Phil we just ask Kelly out on the show We just want to date it's not a big wrap Phil Phil I would love to I would love to but I don't date comedians. Yes

What's the problem? We're talking about Kelly I would love to, but I would love to, but I don't date comedians. Yes. What's the problem? We're talking about Kelly. Yeah. What if we put a few names in a bucket and you pulled it out, maybe her name comes up. No, if a different circumstance is absolutely Kelly. What do you mean different circumstances?

She was more attractive and a better person. Yeah. Like, is that such a big thing thing like a girl with an extra mate? You just like, she's too chubby for me. It's not meat, that's the problem. No, no, I don't, I don't, you know, I will say this. I don't have a specific type. So, it's just not you. I just have a specific not my time.

I think you look good by the way. I think you look nice. That's not true. That's not true? What's really known? Kelly looks nice. That was meaner than you usually are. That's the main issue in the inside of Sparta.

I'm sitting with Lewis. Wow, the Canadian geese snake. That's not I was referring to I was the comment before where Chris or someone said something mean I was saying that's not true you do look very nice I think you're an attractive woman thank you thank you attractive woman I don't know why would you date her Phil Phil why would you date her she's a comedian is this story we're going with? Yeah. Oh man. No, Kelly, we know each other. We're friends.

We're friends. Are you really friends, Phil? You're friends, huh? Pull up for phone number. Pull up Kelly. All right, I will. Pull up Kelly's phone number. Pull up Kelly's phone number.

I'm going to shut up your show. Hold on, hold on. What do you, how do you define a friend? Pulling it up. What's Kelly's middle name? Kelly for soon. Your middle name is Jay. You always is Jew.

Phil is an am. I'm terrible. I don't like this game. Yeah, I honestly. I'm not putting you on the spot feel like them I'm number six four That's it that holy hell that would be fucking bad news That would be hilarious dude already she feel did that to me by the way he uh he texted me and I had some smoke weed for like a month And he texted me like hey dude. I'm in town. Let's smoke some weed And I was like yeah, dude I he texted me, he's like, hey dude, I'm in town, let's smoke some weed. And I was like, yeah dude, I Subsmokin' Wade. And he's wrote gay.

And then he took the screen cap of the conversation. No, he was like, no, no, no, no. He goes, now I'm deleting your number. Then I went, ha ha, and then he wrote, who's this? And then he took a screen cap of that, but he really deleted my number. So he just actually had my number at the top and he tweeted the conversation.

Oh, wow. And he has like 75,000 Twitter followers. So I just started getting phone calls like crazy dude It was bananas dude death squad click death squad click unreal dude and then I fucking took it down Death squad that's like his thing like death squad Joe Rogan and Rishi fears fucking Network maybe really didn't say you know he's numbering you'll find. He's like, go mites? It's just bigger than go mites. A little bigger than go mites. Sammy the bull, you look like a fucking menace over there.

You do look like a menace. You feel bad about the poopa. I'm not doing well, Joe. You feel bad about poopa. Get another beer. Have some more beers, Joe. I'm a little hot. I'm not for it.

This dude. One of us has, I'll have a beer. One of us, I will have a beer, Adrian. Has the dead cally. One of us hasn't gone to the dead with cally. I've decided this. I don't want to die. I would rather someone pinpoint.

I would not go out with you and not the comic thing because I'm curious to know when I meet guys, what's the first thing that you think of that makes you go, nah, she's not my type. I'm curious to know what that is because no one's ever really truly honest with you here and things Physically attractive enough for a guy to go. Yeah, I'd fuck that you can maybe even data. I think if I could it's this Yeah, I agree Tell you when you get nervous you stop being you You're stopping real and you start to spilling beer all over my fucking lap. Oh Jesus

Fuck Adrian Wow, wow dude. I would take that personal dude Yeah, it is Just on my lap fuck that's fine anyway, so you were on the couch. It's not on the couch. It's not on the couch. It's just on my lap. Fuck. That's fine. Anyway, so you were in the middle of thought but it's gone. No, you're physically attractive. It's your personality. You just haven't met the right guy yet for God's sake. You're 25 years old. Everyone's giving a different answer. Well, there's a lot of different answers. Probably more than we can get to tonight. Somebody have one of those long scroly things. I used to have one on my dick but I haven't been drinking lately so oh wow I'll take the band and then a kill while we're at it.

Before that that was so funny. Joe List is a real fucking great host to you. He is a funny man. I don't know if I'm a real last dude. Yeah, no but you're a very funny man and that must mean so much coming from one of your idols Viso take over for a moment. I'm blowing up over here. Oh, all right Okay, so look at my ideas this I say one of the guys in the show that are single yeah Have to you want to date with Kelly and then they can come back in and tell me all the things I did wrong. Yes

Oh, that's a great idea and tell me all the things I did wrong. Yes, ooh, that's a great idea. Yeah, for this, stop. Stop, stop. You're a hero. You're a hero. I don't drink enough, but Sam. No, no, you don't need to drink.

You need to eat. Trust me. Sam, you could drink sco-boz and out of the, you listen to me. First of all, fuck her. Sco-bo, that's crazy. I don have said, I could have just been honest and said, Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! It's GuyPayr and it's Pete's. I did not know we could have cut this conversation up like that. Kelly, you're blowing me in this business. What are you talking about? Did you say blow me? Yeah, exactly.

All right. You got a blow jar? Come on, man, guys. It's kind of... Lewis, what's up with the phone, dog? I'm sorry, bro. I'm waiting for Beatty at home. She's about to fucking be home. I thought we're going to do karaoke We're going to do karaoke. All right, well, we should wrap it up soon here We're gonna be at 150 I think let's do two hours for let's do 10 more minutes

I want to do I'm gonna get an end to this big Kelly thing These are the three it's scopo Sam and fucking Let's go. These are the three. It's Scobo, Sam, and fucking Phil. I don't know. I have to know. I thought I'm an emotional cripple. I talked to Kelly way too much,

during the race. Shut the fuck up. Because this is a strict, but good thing. You guys are retarded. You don't have to fuck her. Okay. You're going to go on a date with her.

I didn't know what to be with her. You're going to tell her what's wrong with her. I would much rather fuck Kelly than have a conversation. Yeah. I want to take a baby, Kelly, and come back and say what's wrong with her. I can tell you what last week we were talking about with you and your boyfriend about the problems and you were going at it all wrong with him. You were texting him way too much.

And you should have been Josh. You were. There's only one love corn on this show, Scope. And that's a handly sorry about that that was Joe what's Joe pretty funny I'm sorry Joe maybe maybe you can do it yeah go on a date with you yeah but we're gonna go friend

her piece nothing to lose I'm a girlfriend who's very sweet and kind and cares for you love you fucking love her I love her you know good then I'm gonna give me representation. Here's the thing. I mean on a podcast. Sam Relsen, honest and fair guy. Sure you get a little too long. I'm not Asian. He's not gonna take me. You do the squinty eyes though. I do. I have Asian eyes. And you're dead inside. I don't know. I know I heard it. I was cringing and laughing that was cringe humor Kelly is upset by that Kelly was just hurt by this she made a real face I think the way you're holding that dick turns me on maybe a break up my girlfriend I think that I can't believe you guys won't even just go on a fucking joke

One at a time one at a time Yeah, come on Sam. Phil, I feel like you guys have been in the opening of the show. One at a time, one at a time. All right, let's say, Sam, living the end of leaving Las Vegas. Sam, why? Sam.

Phil, I'm a work in progress and you know it. That hurts when you keep around. Sam, I like. I like the showers. I like reasons. All right, first of all, Lewis and I are out of contention, thank God. Right.

Scopo and Kelly hate each other. Yeah, I think. Sam, give me one good reason why you can't go on one date with Kelly unless no why. By the way you're the host so you can say whatever donations are given two day will pay for said date. Yes we will pay for the date. If you donate two day I don't want to fight with Phil and Kelly's obvious chemistry. I think they have a thing going on. Excellent answer. No, no, cop in excellent answer. fill give us one good reason why you're the best reason why you should not take Kelly your new

single on a did not date go on a date fake date um not a fake date a real date a one day I'm not gonna like he's not gonna get light off no who knows fill I know what you're worried about your little light on money you it doesn't have to be a dinner date coffee what first date is a dinner date you gotta be crazy take me to the chat I think girls on dinner day You do top is the limit how much food I'm gonna buy so obviously certain people I can't I did you yes, did you really? Yeah, yeah, the microphone. Yeah, really? Yeah, yes Okay, every single burn I get I'm really taken to my heart Phil

Oh, don't question it. I know Would you say it's a wise born again hard to me? Can I say something please? Kelly you walk into these you you know what a maniac you are like you're a buffet Phil Kelly you know better than to ask a fucking group of comics. What's wrong with me? What are you insane? What are you fucking nuts? That's what Kelly does. She goes into it and she gets upset when you fucking slammer break it up boring Well, I guess Joe you want to just we should just wrap this up then. No, well, here's the thing

We're not wrapping it up Kelly figure out which one of you are gonna wrap it up and put it inside of Kelly I think Now I say that first of all we need to come up with the fucking winner or lose whatever whatever you want to put it exactly Bitcoin flip fucking I want to put it as loser I know you talk too much Fucking I want to put it as loser Kelly is going to kill herself if we keep fighting over this somebody just say yes we don't have blood on our hands I think Kelly deserves better than me and I think

I feel can I say something man I say something on a toast Sam is making way better I could you have better jokes like all and compassily on stage options yeah that's a great way better's a great has way better reasons I think Phil you have to go on one date with Kelly this I tell you this Kelly go would be shit I don't think Phil would be that good on the day. I think that maybe

Yeah, I don't know I think you'd be like just reverse psychology right now I'm actually I'm a good date. I'm a Go on the date. I'm up at the coin. Sam calling in the air. If you lose, loser goes on the date. I don't agree to this. I don't agree to this.

Hey fucking Sam. I'm out of this. You're out of this. I've never said feel so much about my show. It's so worked out dude. I'm beneath Kelly so I'm out of it So I'm beneath I would be beneath her and I'll die all right you're two you'll smother you have a credit You're good here's a thing credit as real as Jewish Sam is he has a heart and I he's gonna Sam Yeah, feel is being way too mean I'm not being mean you have to take Kelly

being way too mean you have been mean you have to take Kelly out of it good place the get hold on hold on this is bad everyone's screaming everyone's here for this ever have a common demeanor than you animals everybody's screaming we got to watch it but sam go ahead no i have a hard but i'm a you know an emotional cripple still and uh... you know

but Kelly does not want to go on a date with you You should be attracted to her. That's your thing. I know, but I want like real emotional unavailability I want the real thing. I know that Kelly would have your dick at her mouth before the date was even over That's that's rude. Lewis. I'll put up in the coin pick one heads or tails Play it in the call it in the fucking air Sam call it Sam Hamley Call it in the fucking air Sam call it Sam Handway That was really funny. All right well Kelly. We think I think you're great

You just haven't found the fucking right guy. Yeah, I think Kelly is wonderful You're very attractive. You're approaching funny. You're a man. Jack of woman. Thank you Infosize full I want to say about this is Fill you being a little rude and- Oh my being rude. I didn't go right. It's rude that I got all that rape culture here

because Phil's a real misogynist if you get to know him. I'm the least misogynistic person in the house. He's an elitist misogynist. I'm not a misogynist. I'm the least. Kelly, I just honestly, I don't date comedians and I don't like being-

Phil, it's an experiment. Okay, it's your- I'm not being filled. It's an experiment. Okay. It's you're not a scientist You are a love doctor though. Yeah, I am the love doctor That's why I asked you first because I was like you would be at a pick pick at a pot of it No, that's uncomfortable actually feel bad I gotta get up it like we're going to get up at like we got to wrap it up. Kelly's very pretty girl. We're fine. We got to wrap it up. Kelly, you ended up with your feelings hurt and I just think it made good radio. They didn't

it made good radio till everyone started screaming over and out going on a date with you. Joe, can I just say that please say something? I just say thank you so much for keeping the reins in and doing such a great job tonight. You were one of the second- That was the second- I was so surprised. All three of us were getting a free meal

and we just turned it down easily. Yes, we know that and she's fucking clearly hurt by it. So let's put it into this. No, why are you doing this, dude? For God's sake. That'd be fine, it wasn't. All right, we gotta wrap it up. Kelly, we love you.

We're not date material for God's sake. You know it and you shouldn't have brought it up. You know better than this It made for good radio, but now you're hurt and you're like you like you just bump it in the in with your family in the audience That didn't make sense, but I feel really All right, we got to go around Sammy boy. Why don't you get off your phone? You dummy and plug your Twitter at Sam Morale why don't you get off your phone you dummy and plug your twitter uh... at samarro mo r r i l and then uh... you got a you co-host a show at carolines on sunday nights and with us with the soon-to-be celebrity our pal joe mackie

who is just a guest uh... this past week on the show and uh... check out sam show at carol i cast moonlighting listen to that oh yeah it's a lot of insight if you're into comedy and uh... in your lake funny like juz it's funny, yeah. And boy, Phil, the love doctor, Phil, underscore Hanley, is that what it is? No, it's Phil M. Hanley, H-A-N-L-E-Y. It's perfect.

Phil, the letter M, Hanley, H-A-N-L-E-Y. We can try to make squirmy misogynist, G-Man. Yeah, no Hanley. And I'm not crackers in Indianapolis from the knife to the 12th of July good club nice Downside a broad ripple which one downtown and I have a Podcasts with Nikki Glasier. We know nothing. It's a relationship podcast. You can phone in interesting. Oh, wow That sounds great and then Phil's been phoned in all nice Phil Hanley Phil Hanley and that was great Finally last minute

Phil Hanley and that was great. That was media. Finally, last minute gets one in the buzzer. We're all in, we're in the drunk. Phil Hanley and Simmerl, two of the best joke writers, best comedians, best buds, two great friends on the show. And of course, the real ass rattlesnake dude, fucking whatever he's calling himself. Real ass dude, good on my new website,

Puerto Rican rattlesnake.com. I called that. Nice what he got it is. Do all is Do you do all your ones? It's like one of seven webstores. We're making rattlesnake.com Kelly for stucasucks.com real-ass dude.com Gomez comedy.com Lewis Jay Gomez.com. Lewis Jay Gomez comedy.com just in case you don't know what to find. Oh and Dorks from Brazil.com All right Kelly. What do you got that's not I was that was in a Joe. Oh, I didn't know just my website I was gonna well I thought it was a lot of things. Oh, yeah, you asked for all of the fucking you can't have gigs coming up so

For the life fans this Wednesday I'll be headlining comics at Fox Woods And then I'll be there this whole weekend with Joe DeRosa And I know actually know August 2nd I am headlining and poor Chester Connecticut, I got a gig at the big room. What the fuck is the name of this place, dude? It's like a theater type thing. Check my website realistoo.com, follow me on Twitter at Louis J Gomez and check out all my other podcasts I never plugged my other podcasts on this show. So why not guys go check out Hammer Fishing which is a mixed martial arts podcast plus Legion of Skanks, which is my podcast with Big J. O'Grysson and Dave Smith and today I recorded

a demo for the Real-Ass Podcast. You guys will one day be able to hear the Real-Ass Podcast, the thoughts and inner musings of Louis Shagom as the Real-Ass supporter we can rail snake. Kelly what are you going over there? You can find me on my Twitter, Kelly Pistica, K K L Y FASTTA, my website, KellyPistooka.com, but also don't forget the podcast, Twitter and Facebook, YKWD on Facebook and Twitter. You know, send us stuff, photos, emails, whatever. You can also find her as a Jane Dow and a morgue after she throws herself off a bridge tonight. Or a photo of Earth from the moon. Chris Coppo.

Just get me on Twitter at Chris Coppo. Get me there and I'll be with Louis coming up this Wednesday. You gig, right? What do we got coming on? Yeah, Wednesday. Wednesday and what else? I think the other one's not confirmed. Oh, okay.

All right, so that's just that one. And then Bobby will be comedy works in Denver, carol carado all this first to the third and all this seven to the ten to be a stand-up live in phoenix our zone of so go check them out all right and uh... are you gonna be uh... i don't know where i'll be but you can hear me uh... every twos day on i tunes or soundcloud twos days with stories with my pal mark normand uh... and uh...

all that stuff listen to that if you don't mind or if you want to don't mind uh... but i want to thank uh... robert kelly uh... for letting the opportunity to do this and all the list of maniacs and listeners and even go might to probably voted for me to be honest and uh... i want to thank all of my guests fill handling and sam marille and the rest you don't count as guests uh... i love all of you thanks Thanks for having us and tuning in whatever. Next week, thank you. I love you.

You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las las Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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