Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Live From Skankfest | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #22

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder are joined by Protect Our Parks’ very own Shane Gillis where they discuss the 2 Bears 1 Cave vodka, Dane Cook’s past, who could beat their parents in a fight, Ari Shaffir stealing Luis’ phone, who would Protect Our Parks and The Regz trade to the other podcast and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/Thanks to @johng.wav on Instagram for the new intro music. SPONSORS My Bookie Support the show get some MyBookie money on the house with code REGZ at https://bit.ly/joinwithREGZ HUEL get 15% off meal replacements with code “REGZ”  Small Batch Cigar https://www.smallbatchcigar.com/ (https://www.smallbatchcigar.com/) Code: REGZ for 10% off + 5% Rewards points LUCY https://lucy.co/regz and use code "REGZ" for 20% off your first order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up fuckers? Give it up. Joe List, Dan Soda, Luis J Gomez, and I'm Rob McKelley. How cool was that legally safe intro song? So rock and roll. Why are you standing up? Because people in the back can't see us. Yeah. Dan. Because I'm a man? Because people in the back can't see us. Yeah.

Because I'm a man of the people in the back. I'm not letting these one percenters fucking sit down. This guy's fucking 85. Stay on the whole show. No way. Stay on the whole show. Oh, that's silly. Stay on the whole show.

All right. It is strange that we have one row of chairs in the front row for no reason. These are for the laziest pieces of shit on the planet. It's for old crippled people, but these fucking young assholes just show up extra early and take them. Damn, dude.

What are you standing for this whole show now, Joe? Well, look, I'm very excited to have the regs. This is, is this the first official regs? No. We've done this every Skankfest. But this is the first reg. No, no, no, no, no. We've done YKWD featuring the regs. This is the first official reg.

This is the first ever fucking regs at Skankfest. I think last year. And this episode will count towards our twice a month goal. Don't you worry. Dan and Joe weren't coming in for an extra episode, they were like, Skankfest it is. Yeah.

Don't do that, cause these people believe everything you say, and I'll get 48 emails being like, you fucking cuck, pussy, fag. It's hard to get us together, we work, we have jobs. What? Some guy just goes, fuck you, Joe. Bobby is the busiest person here and he would fucking do the show every day. He would leave the bonfire. Dude, he's honey dipping you guys so fucking bad right now.

I'm fucking expecting you three to really make it in the business. Me? And take me with, not you, these two. All right. I'm fucking expecting you three to really make it in the business. Me? And take me with, not you, these two. All right, Dan, I'm expecting you. Hey, Robert. I'm right here, baby. Bobby, I'm 25 years in. It's not happening. I know.

Oh, whatever. We got cigars. We're going to have a fucking, we have a great time. And by the way, the cigar tent guys, Bobby wanted to move it literally to another fucking another Not even here the other end of fucking Fremont Street Bobby wanted to move it and be nowhere near you This is why That's right, you should do it. Okay. This is why you fucking cocksuckers shouldn't listen this But I heard in Puerto Rican Bobby's I didn't fucking move it. You think I have a fucking, I make decisions for this festival. Christine and Rebecca were like, we're going to put it in

a different place. And I just went, that sounds good. Go off. Because I don't give a fuck. Go off, King. And they're fucking angry. Fucking Puerto Rican. Fucking. Go off, King. Fucking yells at me. Like I make it to, I didn't even want to fucking come. He fucking bullied me to come here!

And that's why we're fucking doing it outside. You got Black Lady with press-on-nails energy. This motherfucker talking crazy. Look, we have each brought a topic tonight to discuss. No, who's... I'm not going to fucking topics. Louis texted us 40 minutes ago, We have each brought a topic tonight to discuss. No, who's bringing the fucking topics? Lewis texted us 40 minutes ago, bring a topic. Not even 40.

You fucking spent two months writing raps for Fat Jay and with us 20 minutes before the show. Just because they call it battle rapping and not love poems. I said, we each have to bring a topic. You couldn't think of a topic in 40 minutes? No. We can. You can.

That's why you have a team of people on Twitter. I always have the best topics. Because you tweeted out, live on the show, I need a topic. And then 55,000 minions. How about this? How about that? Can I tell you something? And then you present it as your own.

And by the way, I never use those topics. I use those as a jumping point for my own mind. Hey, Bobby, can I also say, as a voice guy, good TARD voice. That was an okay TARD voice. It was pretty real to like it. Dan, can you show him how it's done, please? Of course I can, Louis.

Yeah! That is a TARD voice. Of course I can. We're just gonna say anything's a TARD voice at this point? No, he had it pretty good though. It was a mix of TARD and DEF. He went like, oh no, no, no. I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did,

I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did I thought anyone that couldn't hear was retarded. Why is nobody saying retarded?

Why did you whisper? You said tard, you went retarded. Tried to split up the word. No, retarded's back. It's in. Yeah. Yeah. What? Should we have...

Speaking of retards... I thought you said, should we take a test? No, not... To see who's retarded. I would love to. Did we decide that we're having a guest on the show? Why are you fucking panicking? With five seconds of the show, should we do a topic?

I don't see anybody. Just talk. Because we'll just sit here and fucking stare at each other if we don't do a topic or talk to the guest. We were making them laugh the whole time. Say something, fucking Reekon. What is it? Gun in the butt? Damn, dude, you can't yell that at a different show.

That just means you really want to see a gun in the butt. He's like, can we speed that up to today? Like right now? I'm kind of hard in my pants. Louis, how much money did Bert and Tom give you to put these vodka bottles here? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Whoo! Ha ha ha. Lewis, oh, fucking. Lewis is sucking his way to Austin. What are you talking about? Poor Osos, the best vodka on the planet? Oh, hey. Goes down smooth. I can see you walking there. Crystal clear. The fun part about poor Osos the best vodka on the planet. Oh, hey goes down

Crystal clear the fun part about poor Osos is I can spill it on my all-white uniform That's my alt's white uniform There we go, I'm being punny today folks clapping up for our production team, Danny and Paco, speaking of retards. Look at them, they're both manning cameras that are on fucking tripods. We don't need you. You're not doing anything right now. These guys are some of the best in the biz. 90% of our podcasts have been filmed. It's damn good.

That's nice. That's hall of fame in some sports. No, just sit here in silence without a topic, Bob. That's the fucking show. They know the show. Silence is not the show. Guys, I want to hear, hold on. We're going back to the retard impressions. That's where we fucking go to the fucking... I don't mean to break the fourth wall here, but we all know the secret sauce of the regs

is Bobby and Lewis' sexual friction they're like Sam and Diane yeah will they won't they and here's a quick answer they have on the show John I want to hear your retard good that's a classic doyo doyo doyo. That is the worst retard. Can I redo mine? You see that peeking? Go ahead. Hang on, wait, I'm getting into character. Bob, I want to be in your thing because I love you so much. That's fucking good.

That was specific. That was Down syndrome. Hold on, I'll do mine. I'll do mine. Hey, you know what, dude? That was specific. That was Down syndrome. Hold on, I'll do mine. I'll do mine. Hey, you know what, dude? Ha ha! Got him. Woo hoo! I just wanna say, it was fucking, that was good. It was good, but you saw that coming a fucking mile away.

I'll drink some porosos for that. Ha ha ha. Ooh, don't wanna spill a drop. Porosos, the best of the best. Yeah. I don't know if they're paying us to have this on the stage. I'm going to be honest with you. If they're not, there's no way it's actually good, right?

Is it good vodka? I don't know. Drink it. Dude, these guys just hate. We brought Tony on the show earlier, and they just started a gay chant. It was fucking hilarious. Try some porosos.

Porosos? I'm not a big vodka guy. Who likes vodka? Who wants to try this? Well, the three of us. Yes, who wants to try some vodka? Who wants a shot of vodka after a hot day? Who wants a shot of warm vodka?

That's it, dude. All right, I'll pick one. Pick right there, that guy. Which one? Who needs it? Yeah, come up here, mess. You'll be our tester. Give it up for this slut. Come on, needs it? Yeah, come up here, Mess. You'll be our tester. Give it up for this slut.

Come on, folks. Double fingers up. We have somebody already. Dan, Dan. This guy looks like he needs it. Dan, there's somebody on stage already. Dan. Yeah, I can give away a shot too, Lewis.

There's two bottles, you stupid fuck. That's true. Come up here. Hi, I already gave it away. I gave it a double take. We're gonna do a real life review of Porosos on the show. Once you see this guy, you'll get why I picked him. He needs it.

All right. First of all, what's your name? Look at this guy. Jesus Christ. Pam Margera, dude. Dan, all right. Let's do one at a time. What's your name?

Mack. Guys, give it up for Mack. Mack. Hell yeah. Oh, you named Mack because you're built like a truck? Yeah. All right, let's do one at a time. What's your name? Mac. Guys, give it up for Mac. Mac. Hell yeah. Oh, you named Mac because you're built like a truck?

Yeah. Might be one of the funniest things Lewis has ever said. I mean, it was. I had to look down, man. Lewis, that's fucked up. That's fucked up. She's beautiful, she's hot, a hot truck. I told Joe DeRosa I had bigger shoulders than him and hurt his feelings.

Yeah, that is. You could also say that to the Rock. I say. Ha ha ha. He's like, look at you, you're built with mana. All right, we're gonna get, Mac is gonna give her honest review of Porosha. Ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna give her

a nice warm shot right in the mouth. Nice hajja, what a slut. Look at her, what a slut. Hell yeah, there we go. Spilled on her tits. You want more? Jesus Christ. Whoa!

Oh, Jesus Christ. It's good. It's good. All right, give it up for Mac, guys, one more time. That way, Mac. Guys, what about, now let's have Zach taste test it. Is it Mac and Zach? It's Mac and Zach.

Give Zach it, he needs it to stop shaking. There you go, ready bud? I'm like a shot girl. I just poured so much vodka in your mouth. Damn, do you live under a bridge? How is it? You drink that so fucking fast. How is it? It's tough.

Wow. It's tough. You guys don't know hobo lingo. That means good. When you live under a bridge you go, that's that box is pretty tough. They go, okay. Dude last night. Thanks, Zach. Running late with no time for breakfast. We've all been there. Luckily, there's a solution. What is that solution? Support from the Regs is brought to you by Huell, the world's number one complete nutrition brand. Dude I love Huell, they just sent me a bunch of stuff and I am a Huell-y loving it. Huell-y Lewis in the news. Absolutely, no prep, no cooking needed, just grab a Huell and get on your way

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Crazy show. And, uh, fucking, uh, what's it called? Why was I bringing it up? Well, there was another thing that happened anyway. Never mind. I'll tell you this. What? What did you just do? Are you okay? Did we just watch that in real time?

I had a brain fart, yeah. What the fuck happened? Lewis just shut... Oh, no, that's right. I remember why. Are you all wrapped out? No, no, I remember why now. Alright, so, no, Crackamico was on stage. I was thinking because of Porosos.

Bert came in the room and started booing Crackamico. It's great. It's very funny. He was like, fuck you, boo! And he was 100% serious. Oh, it fucking ruled, I loved it. And then while Crackamico was performing, he went to go stage dive off the stage, and he kicked one of the speakers off the stage,

and one of the security guards grabbed him by the dick and twisted his dick. Yeah, and I almost got into a fight with the security guard, dude. And then he twisted your dick and you fought. No, I was like, my turn, please. Yeah, I had a whole fucking thing with the security guard downstairs, so fuck that. What's that place called? Yeah, fuck substance dude. Fuck that entire place. I hated that place. Really? I mean that green room. It was nuts. Yeah, fuck them Sounds like that was substance abuse

Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe We're just throwing out chance. We gotta get it going. I don't think we have a guest by the way I just saw somebody yeah, do we have a guest, by the way. I just saw somebody. Yeah. All right. Do we have a fifth microphone? We don't do guests. A chair? We don't, well. Yeah, wait a minute, stop. We don't, I thought, Lewis, we don't do guests.

We're not supposed to do guests, but I figure because we're at Skank Fest, maybe we'll bend the rule one time. One time we can bend the rule. But it's not gonna be, I mean, but you were very yelling screaming No fucking guess Joe. Is this a big guess? This is a big guess. Yeah, unless you consider Mike Feeney small Imagine was Mike Feeney imagine if

That'd be the funniest thing we've ever done if we just like ladies and gentlemen, it's Brendan sagalow Special guests or if we flew someone in from Australia like, ladies and gentlemen, it's Brendan Sagalow. Special guest. Or if we flew someone in from Australia. Oh, snap. Dude, if we flew in Kelly from Australia and then didn't let her into Skankfest. So funny. Guys, I was there.

I couldn't come in. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Bubby, they wouldn't let me in Skankfest. It took me two days to fly there. We're gonna bring a guest on, Bob. This is a big one, and he's only here for one more day, so we gotta fucking do it. We love him. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Shane fucking Gillis.

Come on! CHEERING Oh, dude, Shane, step in with your best Tardo, dude. Blow it out of the water. Shane, welcome to the Regs. You are the first official guest that we've ever had on the show. I didn't, yeah. How does that feel? I feel bad.

We have a no guest rule. No, don't. I've been pushing hard. We've been yelled at. No fucking guests. Me and Bobby literally did say in the text thread, no guests. And then Joe was like, but it's Shane. We were like, maybe.

As they texted that, we were back there with Shane. I go, you should come on the regs. I said, why don't we get Shane? And then they said, no guests, you fucking idiot. And I said, okay. We're at 7.0. We don't need a famous person on the show. We will just have a mid-level successful show.

As I wrote, okay, Dan's like, Shane, come on the regs. And I was like, that's not gonna go well. Yeah. So it's not my fault. That's my boy, dude. That's Danny Sodie's. Always and forever. Of course, Lewis and Bobby are treacherous pricks.

I was pushing the hardest. Joe's wanted a guest, a special guest, the whole time. Lewis said, no fucking guest. And then I backed Lewis up. And then it's like, he wants a guest, a special guest the whole time. Lou's said no fucking guest, and then I back Lou us up, and then it's like, he wants a guest, then he says it, and then he says, okay, I would like to, you said no fucking guest. I did break very quickly, I was like, you know what,

Shane would be pretty great on the show. Were you guys like, were you guys like, Protect Our Parks doesn't do guests? Yes, and I, that's exactly what they say, and I say, they are the guests! It's Joe Rogan show featuring these Just say that if protect our park all right We're also gonna bring in another more famous comic than us that would be fucking weird

I don't make it on our own. We don't fucking make it but also that our party also doesn't do mediocre numbers What? They didn't understand it a couple Cadence also was being nice. For the record, the reason List has been pushing guests is to get Feehan on. So. What's that about?

You like Feehan? I'm trying to take my sloppy seconds. Not true at all. Come on out, Karen. Please be here. That'd be funny. Now she went back. She is here.

I just saw her. Yeah. Yeah. It's be funny. Now she went back. She is here. I just saw her. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's really funny. Dude, Derek Drescher is our dog walker. Derek Drescher is a funny comedian. He's a funny comedian who was working the festival as well. But he had her dog in the dog park.

And she's got a pretty big mix. Wait, can you tell this story? Yeah, we told it on Real Ass Podcast. OK. Yeah, yeah. So they were at the park. And then while he was with her dog, her dog attacked another little pug and bit its eyeball out of its head.

Allegedly. And then Derek Dresser just left and didn't tell anybody, just ran away from the park. Hilarious that a pug came back without an eye. Oh my God! It was bugging an empty crater. Yeah, and they had to find her through like a doggy mom group in her like neighborhood and she like just got a phone call being like, get your dog attacked another dog. Ripped his eye out.

Ripped his fucking eye out. That's, why did you bring it up on a podcast? Are you suing her with the lady? No, I thought it was kind of funny. They're all here, these are all players at Skankfest. Yeah, but that's why, what if she gets sued and then the- I think she's currently being sued. No.

But the dog didn't rip the eye out. The eye fell out. That's not what happened. Yes. Eyes fall out. Eyes don't fall out of your head. Yes they do. Look at Sammy Davis and the other guy.

That didn't fall out. He got sick and they had to take it out. No, it fell. What? Yes. Black people's eyes fall out. They do at this festival. Thanks, Shane.

It's not bad. No, yeah, the eye fell out. But what a hilarious criminal Derek Drescher is. He just ran away. He didn't stop. He didn't do the right thing. Dude, I wouldn't fucking do the right thing if a dog I was watching took an eye of another dog.

What if your dog took the eye of another dog? I'd be proud of her. I'd lift her up like Simba. I'd go, she is my true beast. I her master. And then I would fuck that eye socket of the other dog. Sorry guys, I had to get crazy at Skank Fest. Yeah, you had to.

In reality, I'd give it sweet little kisses on its forehead and apologize. You would cry. Yeah, you would cry. I would cry. Oh no! Oh fuck, oh fuck! Oh, what the fuck did you do, Myrtle? What the fuck?

Ha, ha, ha, ha. I was just like. Drop it, drop it. I don't know. Fuck I did, I'm opening her mouth. Ah, she fucking won't let... Drop it. Drop it. I'm opening her mouth. She fucking won't let go of it. Drop it. Dude, I remember one time when I was really little, my cat had kittens.

Wait a minute. This is not going to be good. No, it's good. Was it your cat or was it a neighborhood cat? No, it was my cat. My cat was a slut. In fact, she had so many kittens, she started fucking around children. You talking about your cat or was it a neighborhood cat? No, it was my cat. My cat was a slut. And in fact, she had somebody kid and she sort of fucked him up.

You talking about your mom or you talking about a cat? Whoa. That's insensitve. His mom was a prostitute. Damn. That's fucked up. That's not what defined her, you piece of shit. All right, you're right.

I swear to God that's gotta be what defined her. She was a prostitute? No, dude, that was like. It's honestly, Louis, you've led with it four times. You think that that was like the first thing in her bio? No, dude. Mother, Lewis, you've led with it four times. You think that that was like the first thing in her bio? No, dude. Mother, daughter, cross-suit. It was third.

It was third. Streetwalker, mother. It's third on her tombstone. Loving mother, cross-suit. Here lies a lady who liked to lie around. Oh shit. Yeah. So what happened? So yeah, she had kittens.

And then one night I woke up in the middle, and I had a dog named Sebastian, named after Sebastian Bach from Skid Row, who blocked me on everything. Piece of shit, scumbag. And I had a dog named after him. So didn't the real Sebastian, the comedian, block you on everything? Ha ha.

Hey, you know what? Dude, that's so funny. That's somebody who doesn't so funny. What a shit joke that was. Holy shit Bobby. Where's the bandana? You're wearing it on your head. Oh you cock sucker. Yeah you take off the do-rag and that could be the bandana for the day. That's great dude. No actually leave that on. Leave that on. That looks, that's you. Sweaty do do rag. That's for you, dude. Oh Bobby you're gonna look good in that Do Bobby can't Bobby you're gonna look good in that you should wear it. We put that on. Yeah, I'm certain You're gonna look good. Do I hold it at first? Come back

Yeah, damn nice dude's nice, dude. That's nice. Oh, hell yeah. What it is, buddy? Thank you, Dan. I want to fucking say thank you to you and fucking Shane for doing the show and being a fresh fucking guest. Dude, you look like Brando. Is that how you think Scarface dressed? No, that's how I think your mom did. It's crazy.

It's crazy how much you look like Brando in the Island of Dr. Mara. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. your mom did. It's crazy. It's crazy how much you look like Brando in the Island of Dr. Moran. Yeah. I like to make these things my different play pets. Always the fat guy. No, it's your bald head.

Island of Dr. Moran. Yeah. Godless has always got one in the chamber. Yeah. So yeah, I woke up in the night and my dog's a bash. I had my dog's a bash. My cat had just had kittens. And then I woke up in the night, and then I go into my kitchen, and there was a cat's carcass, a kitten's carcass on the floor.

And there was blood everywhere, all over the fucking kitchen. And this is a childhood memory? This is a childhood memory. And I remember I saw it, and the head was missing from the kitten's body. What? Was your dog work for the cartel? It was... There was blood on the walls. Did somebody pass out already?

Yeah, I'm at it. What happened? Ah, I saw it. No, I'm kidding. No, no, no. Can we get a medic? Make sure they were all right before... She's back. Oh, it's a girl. All right, hell yeah. All right. No, that's sleeping...

Are you okay? They're sleeping from boredom. You're okay. Get her from boredom she's this close to Shane it's like the Beatles back in the day girls would just pass out is that the girl drank fucking birch shitty vodka fuck you so miss did you drink po so so's that's my guy Craig right there this is what porousos does to you. Great comic. Different Mack truck. Holy shit. That girl just said no it's a different Mack truck. That was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to somebody who's in a medical emergency right now. Can we get her an extra chair? She's trying to not

lose her first place. She's going back out again. Oh, she's going back out. Oh, she's out. Yeah, you gotta- Guys, hold her up. You gotta- Don't make one guy do it. Three people hold her up. No, let her lay down. Guys, you gotta get her out of here. Guys, guys, guys, guys. She's dying.

Can somebody that works for us do that and not just a bunch of random people? Danny, a little mini bottle of water's not gonna do it. More liquid death. Fucking autistic asshole. That oughta do it. It's a little mini bottle of water is not going to do it. More liquid death. Fucking autistic asshole. That ought to do it. It's OK. She'll be OK, everyone. Do they have a minute?

Guys, guys, guys, guys. Relax. She's dying. Does anybody? Guys, let her fucking die in peace. You want to die while being booed? That's crazy. There might be multiple reasons this episode is used in court.

For the Feehand dog suing. You saying retard. Look at all these guys coming 10 minutes too late. Holy shit. Imagine that she wakes up and you see this standing above you. Guys, just imagine you open your eyes and this fucking Freddy Krueger before the fire is standing above you. Just a heads up. just a heads up just a heads up for the rest of the weekend if you need medical attention probably

on you guys do not need medical attention if you want guys that look like they build Ferris wheels to attend you this black guy is just trying to fucker this guy's nuts. Get up here. People have to see you in the back. Get up here. Holy shit, dude. Look at this guy, this is nuts. Smile and hello everyone. Christine, Rebecca, why would we hire this guy?

Yeah, thanks. You're horrifying, sir. No, it's great. You're the scariest person I've ever laid my eyes on. You know what? I say you put a couple of your magic spells on Louis. He'll shut up real quick. I mean, holy shit.

Did you have to say that guy's name three times for him to show up? Oh, she's passing out again. Let her sit down and then... OK. How about get her outside? Yeah, why don't we bring her outside? How about stop trying to fix her here?

Why don't you... don't boo her, guys. Somebody throw her over this shoulder and get her out of here. Is that your friend? Is that your friend? Nobody knows her? Oh, you guys don't even care? Nobody even cares. Look, imagine dying and no one cares. What a shitty way to die.

Oh, look at Dan being in a fucking... Dude, it's your festival. I don't give a fuck. That lady might be dead. What'd you say, sir? What is she? She's all right? Why do you think that? Yeah. Fucking retard M.D. Do-do-do-do-do. Nah, She's good. Guys, she gave a thumbs up.

Dude, she's perfect. Shane, it's just like the NFL. If they give a thumbs up, they'll walk again. She's leaving on the cart. You know the sad NFL music before the commercial break. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. I love that they have a pop-up concussion tent up there.

She's got to go to Blue Tent for Skankfest. She got two of them. She's got to go to the Blue Tent for Skankfest. We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. I love that you didn't have a pop-up concussion tent up there. She gotta go blue tent for Skankfest. She got two of it, dude. She's throwing gang signs when she hit the ground. I'm like, damn, two is a roll in 66. Usually you yell out, is there a doctor in the house, but nobody even... That's so funny. But I bet if we asked if there's a carpenter fucking hands with shoot-up has anybody

ever been to a doctor at the house guys I need rebar laid there is there like there's definitely no there's a couple like EMTs in here for sure air conditioning or like air circulation that might no we got a always do is get her out in the hundred and eight degrees so'll be fine. Yeah well she doesn't know she's actually going on a ancient Native American sun walk. We're like get her outside it's

literally 114. Guys what's the only place we can take her that's hotter outside? Yeah bring her down to the dick's last resort to cool her off. Welcome to hell. This stinks. Just toss her in a bath of ice. This is insane. Now one of the boosts up the titty bar has an AC unit right above it. I mean guys I hope she's okay. Let me just say that on record. Yeah, she's all right. She's okay? She's okay. She's okay. She's okay. By the way, you just legally signed off on that.

That's Lewis law. Oh, shit. Well. Let's start over from the top. That's okay. Yeah, I wanted to do a topic. They said no topics, no direction today. We didn't say that.

We didn't say that. You just did it five seconds into the show. I just, well, I figured. Dude, I got to do a topic. They said no topics, no direction today. We didn't say that. We didn't say that. You just did it five seconds into the show. I just, well, I figured. Dude, I got a good topic. Are you on drugs? Storm chasing. Woo! I'm thinking of storm chasing again.

Now you're talking my language. What? Now you're talking my language. You're goddamn right. Storm chasing? Going after twisters? Yeah, twisters. I'll live in Oklahoma.

That's all I got. Yeah, twisters. Dude, last night. That's all I got. I go, yeah, Twisters. Dude, last night we watched the Giants Cowboys game. Black Lou from the Bonfire got a poolside table, which sucks when you're in jeans and a t-shirt. But the waitress at our cabana was so hot it upset everybody. Yeah, she was hot. Every time she would leave, we'd be like, Motherfucker.

Her name was Mickey. Dude, Ari, I watched Ari fall in love with her three different times. Her butt was hanging out. It was incredible. Dude, Ari, we just finished Legion of Skanks in here, and at the end of it, like a fool, I left my phone on the table. Dummy.

Right. Ari just takes my phone, puts it in his pocket. He's like, let me just watch Louis freak out. So I'm like, oh, my phone. Now I'm thinking one of you guys have it. And I'm like, was it open? My life is over. If that happened, it would be the end of fucking everything, dude.

Yeah, babe, we ripped them off again. Ha ha ha. LOL. I think a girl dropped during the regs. A girl died, dumb bitch. Ha ha ha. I ripped them all off all off sorry got hit with the vapers pitch Get her out of here. We're doing a podcast. We're doing big deals Doggie I fucking oh, I just remember I never finished the

fucking dog cat story. No. God damn it. Am I on drugs? Yes. Barely. I'm not real drugs. A lady faked her own death to get out of that story.

We don't need the end of it. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hey folks, this week's episode of the Regs is brought to you by My Bookie. Football is back, which means winning season is also back. My Bookie is here to make sure you're ready to cash in on all the action. They're pulling out all the stops with awesome promos like weekly risk-free boosts on Thursday where if your bet hits, you win big.

If it doesn't, no problem. my bookie will refund your wager I'm pumped for NFL season as everyone knows I'm a much bigger college football how much fun is college football college football when you're rules I mean when you got a little a few bucks on it I was just telling people how I used to come over your house and I'm not a video game guy so I would get high and just watch you play video games some of the best memories of my life I mean just nail biters we had some nail biters in front of Joe well guess what when you're ready to get started use promo code regs to claim a bonus that doubles your money

on your very first deposit you heard that right folks double your money with code regs regz before you even place a bet loyalty pays off with my bookie plus the more you play the more you win. It's simple. Climb through tiers of the Loyalty Rewards program to unlock even more epic promotions, exclusive giveaways, and bigger rewards. My Bookie Plus is the lock of the century. Bet on anything, anywhere, anytime, and make your season a winning season. I will do. Shane, can we hear your retard? Yeah. Thank you.

Perfect. Yeah, but he's got the face to fucking add to it. You have the fucking face, you fucking dumb slug. You have the face, you fucking retard. You slug bitch, shut up. You fucking wide-eyed. Shut up, Bobby, you disgusting slug, dude. You fucking douchebag. Don't do this, you'll be called the slug. You'll be Bobby the slug if you keep it up

What did you say if you keep talking you're gonna be known as Bobby the slug You know what yes for this It's a good name that's a good name The giant bug. You just made Shane blow into the conch shell. Assemble. I'm with you, I'm with you, I feel with you. He said don't say anything else you're gonna be known as Bobby the slug Like it's kind of a badass nickname though looks nice like love like a slug from a gun No, no, no, no, that's what it is like a shotgun. You leave a trail of slime everywhere What everywhere you go. Yeah, it comes from the hut. A what? Bobby the hut. What?

No, Bobby the hut. No, you dropped away. I hope you pass out. How crazy, how scared, how scared would you be if he did like you had powers? Did Shane start dropping fools? Someone came after Bobby and Shane dropped him with mental powers. Did you guys ever pour salt on slugs as kids or adults? No, we're not serial killers, Joe.

I didn't either. I've read it. I don't know, Lewis. We don't know how this cat story ends. Yeah, good point. Yeah, finish the story. All right, so I wake up. There's fucking a headless kitten on the floor.

There's blood everywhere, right? And I look at my dog, Sebastian, who's just sitting there. And I'm like, why would you murder this kitten? Because I know my mom's going to get rid at my dog Sebastian who's just sitting there and I'm like Why would you why would you murder this kid? Because I know my mom's gonna get rid of my dog now. So like that's what's going on in my head And then I remember I went I went and I looked at my cat and I counted all the kittens and all the kittens were Still there and it turns out it was a rat and my cat fucking decimated this rat You had rats in your house rats in my house Yeah, and then my cat left the rat on my mother's stomach on the bed.

What?! Yeah. Wait, hold on. A rat ate a kitten's head off? This sounds like a word problem. How did the kitten's head fall off? The cat ate the rat, but the rat... No, my cat ate the rat. My cat killed a rat. But you said the kitten was headless.

It wasn't. It was a rat. Oh! You thought the rat kitten was headless. It wasn't, it was a rat. Oh, you thought the rat was a headless cat. A kitten, but it wasn't. The cats killed the rat and the rat gave the cat the rat to the mother. So the real story is Lewis doesn't know the difference between a kitten and a rat? Yeah. That does make sense if his, you know, his mom gave him a rat as a kid and goes, that's a cat, kid. Get out of here. I feel like if you Photoshopped a rat with no head,

I wouldn't be like, oh, a cat. Yeah, very distinct tail. Yeah, well, I didn't really look at the tail. I just thought it was a kitten's body. It was the same size. I was worried about Sebastian. How old were you? I hope four.

10? You're 10? You saw a lot of murders in your fucking childhood. I was worried about Sebastian. How old were you? I hope four. 10. You were 10? You saw a lot of murders in your fucking childhood. Yeah. It's fucking wild. Your dad was murdered, your mom. That rat. The rat.

That lady over there? In order of importance, that's what it was. Wow. Yeah. Did your mom get rid of your dog? Eventually, yeah. Eventually. Should have killed your cat. She told me she gave it to somebody with a farm

and then somebody in my middle school just had my dog. Yeah. Wait, for real? Yeah, yeah. She just needed drug money? Yeah, she gave it to the pound. She was like, oh, I have a friend who has a farm. I was like, you don't have friends with farms, you junkie.

And then she fucking, yeah, I went to school on Monday and this fucking chick named Anna Sanchez, she like oh I have your dog how did she knows your dog because I was crying probably you got dog cucked what was the dog's name Sebastian did she still call it Sebastian probably not she named something Spanish like this is my dog Goya yeah Yeah, she had my dog. She was like, yeah, he had fleas when I got him. And I was like, okay. You had rats in your house.

Bro, your life sucks. It's so sad. It was sad, right? You're doing so well. When you consider where I started and where I am, I'm doing way better than you when you consider that. Yes. That's why I go to sleep at night. I'm doing better than Shane comparatively to where I am. I'm doing way better than you when you consider that. Yes. Honestly. That's why I go to sleep at night. I'm doing better than Shane comparatively to where I started. I'm still not anywhere near. It's still literally maybe 75.

What? You're nowhere near where Shane is. Compared to how low I started. I know. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you know how high up there Shane is. No, no, no, I understand. Guys, it really sucks when you do that. What, when you're sorry? Yeah, yeah. When we make you feel bad about being successful? Lewis, the fact that you live indoors is a giant win. Yeah. I'm not kidding. I think you're a hero. Thanks. Yeah, it's really impressive.

I mean, yeah, just having rats. Bobby, your life sucked too though, right? Not as bad as that. No, it was really impressive. To come, I mean, yeah, just having rats. Bobby, your life sucked too though, right? Not as bad as that. No, yeah. Bobby acts like his life sucked like that, but Bobby had parents, a house. Bobby also had like, Bobby just smoked weed when he was 10. He's like, dude, I got a problem. I didn't.

Bobby also fought his stepdad when he was a child. That's fucked up. Yeah, dude, I didn't have parents. Wait, well, Joe and Shane grew up with dads. How much did you think about fighting them? Not really. I never thought about fighting my dad. But my dad, yeah.

I've never been the fight my dad guy. Pussy. No. What's that? It's because your dad will fuck you up. Hold on. I think about tailoring the tape all the time. This is a great question, and this will be my topic.

I started wrestling. Could you beat up in your prime, could you beat up your dad in his prime? No. Phil's a specimen. My dad was a problem. Well which dad? Your biological father Bobby. The one that you share genes with. Yeah yeah I could do that. You guys wear the same jeans? Yeah. Hi folks. Come on folks. Lob and dunk. No go down the line. Dan, could you beat up your in in your prime and his prime? Yeah, he was probably too drunk. I probably could have got a couple in quick. What was your dad like?

He wouldn't have seen it coming. Also, I was taller than him, so I'd have the reach, so I'd just pepper him with jabs. You're never gonna box. It would never be that type of fight. It would be a crying wrestler. You're right. I try to toss him over my hip while apologizing. You try to do a wrestling move, you'd be like, macho man! Bret Hart was there and you weren't! Sharpshooter! What about you, Joe?

I think I would beat the fuck out of my dad. You think so? Yeah. Is your dad a dweeb? He's not a dweeb, he's like a regular guy, but you know, I've done some training as you know. You're not tough,'re not you don't train I yeah, I train yeah, I got 50 hours in the gym. It was four years ago, but that's pretty good

No, I don't remember. I don't remember your dad, but like Dan said I'm taller than you. I'll fucking beat the shit I do you bro. That's all it takes. Yeah, that's what Dan just said taller Joe Why don't you join the all comedian jujitsu tournament that we're doing tomorrow? Done deal. Oh! What time? 6 p.m. 6 p.m.? I got something.

Come on, bro. Who's in it? Name who's in it. It's me, Tripoli, Butterly, By the way, when they- Mike Feeney. Your name ends with the Y. Wow, I can't speak. Your last name ends with a Y in order to be in it.

This is the only comedy festival that sends out a questionnaire and in it they ask, do you know Brazilian Jiu Jitsu? Literally. That was in the thing. Like, when does your flight get in? Will you fight Lewis? Yeah, rainy, fuck it.

I think Chris Catan is supposed to do it, I swear to God. Dude, if fucking Mr. Peepers comes and cleans house. And I don't think Chris Katana supposed to do it. I swear to God dude if fucking Peepers comes and I don't think Chris Katan does you jitsu and I'm gonna go against him in the first round and decimated Can has spina bifida or something you can't yes spinal bifida. He has something wrong with his spine I hope he doesn't and he shows up and bosses you around tomorrow Bobby I swear to God there's something wrong with his spine why were they they telling me that he wants to do the jujitsu tournament? What maybe once it gets straightened out? Twist them back to normal You rack them back to me Chris Catan is the little monkey guy on SNL

We're not that cancel proof Jesus It was so good. No one got it. We were all talking. I said you were thinking Tim Meadows. Yeah, he was great. It's core values, guys. It was very racist.

It was delightful. I take it back. My dad would have fucking wrecked my shit. My dad was an actual criminal. Actually, my dad was a fucking pussy. He got stabbed. All I mean is a knife. I'd fucking wreck his shit.

I don't understand though. We're saying in our prime. In your prime, you would beat the fuck out of your dad. No, I think I'd beat the shit out of my dad. What are you talking about? In his prime also. I mean, he was murdered at 26, so... That, you know, kind of was his prime.

No, not weapons. You'd beat the shit out of him. You're like the toughest guy I know. I got a good question. Louis' dad with a knife versus Phil Gillis. Ooh. Hector Gomez with a knife versus Phil Gillis. This is the super fight the people want. Only in America!

Only in America! Only in America! I swear to God Hector Gomez with a knife versus Phil Killis just this is the super fight the people He was like he was like six feet tall but he's pretty jacked well with a knife then yeah Phil would have trouble Yeah, but it's not a big blade Phil was a problem that they carry. Oh Yeah, it's a little switchblade. Phil will go, the hell's going on? Hey man, wrong neighborhood. No, Phil was a big guy. What did your father do? He played football but then he like literally all he did was fight. Every single story he told, it was just him fighting. Kicking ass. And then every story they told about my grandpa just him fighting. Kicking ass. And then every story they told about my grandpa

was him fighting and attacking people. And then I found an article that said, my grandpa played for Notre Dame and he got his skull cracked in 1930. Oh, that's when they made you walk it off. For real, they were like, Gillis is out against Purdue because of a head injury. It was 1930, he must have been really fucked up.

And then he clearly had a CT, yeah. Every story is him assaulting people. He died, he got a heart surgery, and the way he died was he woke up from the operating table and tried to attack the nurses, and his heart exploded, and he died. That's wild. He woke up out of the surgery like,

you might want you do to me! And he died. That's wild. He woke up out of the surgery like, you might want to do to me. Just died. Damn dude, what if we found out Gillis was like Irish for attack? It's in his blood. He was, yeah, those are all big guys. He was like 6'5". So did that just stop working on him when he attacks? I think his heart literally exploded.

Oh, fuck, odd pop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't wake up. Let go, let go. You can't wake up from a heart surgery and go crazy. You'll die. He did. My grandpa died.

That's fucked. Did he take anybody with him? No, I'm sure he grabbed somebody. He's like, ah. Bitch. Unpry his fingers from someone's fucking shirt. I don't know, Hector Gomez. He's gone.

I mean, Hector Gomez was a gang member, but he did have a weakness in his lower intestine. What was the name of your father's gang? I don't know. The Goemites? The Goemites. I don't think he was in a gang. He was just like a fucking, you know, gang-like dude in Patterson, New Jersey, which is one of the nastiest neighborhoods in the world.

Have you been to... Patterson, New Jersey's gotten worse somehow. But isn't there a good part and then you're as bad? There's no good part of Patterson, New Jersey. That's just full-gotten. He was murdered in the good part. By the way, this just in from our producer Danny, Chris Catan had a broken neck while on SNL. Pussy. Yeah. That was 40 years ago. Well, we've now identified his weakness,

attack him in the tournament. Damn. That's your dad? Yeah. Your dad's Jack, dude. Yeah, he was a mute. He's an athlete. Is your dad young? That photo looks like it's from the 90s. No, that's an old one, yeah. No, I think my dad's like 68. Damn. He still young. Yeah. Well anyway. That's because it's younger than you. Just showing these guys pictures of my dad. That's quality podcasting. Yeah. The first guest showed up and showed one guy a picture of his dad. That's fun though. For two years I'm like we gotta get Shane on it's gonna blow this thing up we're just showing photos family photographs. My dad was strong a while ago. All right thank you. The numbers are pouring in boys. Go get some Lucy listen if you are a fan of nicotine right but you're trying to get off all the tobacco

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Lucy Lucy hang on are Hang on Lucy Lucy hang on our G Z that's gold and you get 20% off and always free shipping and what's that? It's time to what Joe? Party back to the show. Oh, let's get back to the show. Yeah. All right, how How how easily how easily could you take your own mom and her prime oh I would I would wail on her. Easily, right? Oh, yeah. All right, here's a good question.

Full grown her versus you at seven. She would probably fuck me up. Yeah, seven. Seven. Could you pull off? Seven. No, seven, you don't have strength. You gotta go 10 or 11. I think 12 is the best. Under 10.

No, my son's mother could still beat the shit out of him. If they went for a full-fledged fight to this day, I think Beatrice would fucking wreck James' shit. Dude, James is going to put this episode on while he's training? He's like, my dad said my mom would beat me up. Bobby, do you think Max could beat up Don yet? Max would kick the shit out of Don. How old's Max? Max is 11, but he's got the same size shoe size as me.

He's a big dog. He's a big dog. His hands are bigger than mine already. Are you worried he's gonna... What's up with you? What's up with you? He's gonna be, what are you gonna do? How many more years until he's a legit threat to your throne? One and a half.

Yeah. Do you tell him that at breakfast? He choked me out last week. He goes, Dad, check this new move I learned in Jiu Jitsu. And he gave me a bow. I think he learned it from you. A bow choke? Did you teach him a bow choke?

No, I gave him a- No, a bichoke. Sexual. I got it. We're bombing, folks. I think the mic's gotta go up. Something's up. We're bombing.

How the fuck did I get that? If Lewis was molesting my son. Give him the bomb, Dana, please. I think we should cut this into five and hand it out. I don't know. Do you see that picture of my dad? Yeah. I don't know. Why don't we run that back with a shirtless one? Has anybody checked on the girl that passed out? She died.

No. That fucking face is so funny. She was with her boyfriend? Oh, my God. That guy hates all of us. Poor guy. That sucks to be a guy and you can't get a girl to be your boyfriend. that passed out? She died. No, that fucking face is so funny. She was with her boyfriend? Oh my god. Oh nice. Poor guy.

That sucks to be a guy and you can't pick a girl up to take her out. I need six other people to help me save her life. Yeah dude, he... This guy is really sticking with the she's fine story, which I love. She's fine, I swear. What'd you do to her? Shay? He clearly roofied this woman. Stop asking

questions. Everything's okay. Continue on. He starts giving out topics. No need for a toxicology report. She's totally fine. No, I saw her. She's great. She was walking around out there. She said she was going home She called me she told me yeah, we do have that happen pretty regularly as gangsters guys stay hydrated Don't fucking start passing out also. I think that there's a Fucking advice no really and then there's there's also they have a dance safe There there's a dance safe testing thing right? Yeah, so if you guys have drugs get your drugs tested for free while you're here so you don't end up like that buffoon of a girl.

Or you can just let it rip and live. Nah, JK. Tonight we have the after party of the Shrimp Club, too. Legion of Sanks is hosting it. Are you guys coming? Oh, definitely. Yeah, me and Dan were talking about it this afternoon. I'll be there.

Can't wait. I can't wait. Can't wait. Yeah, we're gonna be there. Louis, the reason I brought up that waitress at the Cabana is because I watched Bobby have game. Bobby's got game. Bobby's got fucking low-key game.

Look at those bracelets. Of course he does. You know what's funny? You forgot he was hot in the 90s, dude. Bobby's got fucking low key game. Look at those bracelets, of course he does. You know what's funny? I, you forgot he was hot in the 90s. That doesn't leave you. Bobby was so handsome. I did watch Bobby talk to a pretty girl and I watched her melt into him. I was like, what is going on right now?

And she's still in there. No one can make eye contact. Was she in a metal bikini chained to him? That's a shout out to that guy. Hey, you guys are friends again. Nice. Dude, I watched him. He like walked her down. She was actually listening to him. It, you guys are friends again. Nice. Dude, I watched him. He like walked her down.

She was actually listening to him. He was impressive. That's nice. Is that true? Yeah. I bet you had more pussy, is that the word? More pussy than all of us. Yeah.

No. Yeah. Bobby would not. He started getting pussy four years ago. That's not true. I started getting pussy, yeah. I've been getting pussy since I was 15 years old, Bobby. You've been getting pussy, but not not pussy. This is getting so gay. I

Got pussy before you talking to orgasm pussy to realize the pussy's nuts that must be crazy No, the girl the disappointment if you're trying to fuck Dane you get to fuck Bobby Kelly instead Those girls were fucking bummed Bobby was the bad boy. He was the bad Bobby Bobby's like I'll show you the real superfinger Yeah, remember the superfinger was the thing that we got it. Yeah, I don't know they don't they're young Did you get a lot of pussy on tour guys? Well, I was dating my wife at the time. So no but Now yeah, they never talk? I love Bobby, he literally is gonna get himself in trouble but he should not brag about getting pussy on tour guys.

No, no. He's like, dude, you know. I mean, no, I'm gonna say no, but you know. I tell you who got a lot. I'm just saying I had to take a lot of showers and it wasn't because I was sweaty, you know? I washed so much pussy juice off me. Did they never toss you women?

No. No. Was it like Bobby, I don't want this one. No, because he liked the smoking hot 10s. Yeah, what are you? I hate them. Yeah, this is gross. I would be caught dead with a smoking hot 10. I don't like that. I like a chick with a hot body and a goofy face. I like a dead dude.

Hey, you know what? It's a pitch you can hit. I get it. I like maybe a fucked up eye, but like abs, you know what I mean? Of course we all like that because that's attainable. Yeah, I like that. You can't be like, no, no, I don't like perfect tens. Yeah, I know. I'm not into it. That's not for me. I'm not into it.

Yeah, it's not up to you. That's not even a thing. But even if, because I felt like a hot ten they always fucking, but a chick with a dead tooth or a gap, she was a little down to earth and could have a conversation with her. I'm the same way, I've never been into like threesomes with hot twins, just never been my thing. Yeah, yeah, fuck that. I don't care for that shit. No I like a woman I can talk to. Like the one with the cross-eyed isn't gonna be fucking just as annoying. You're right, she's probably gonna be more annoying.

She's got no social skills at all, she sucks. Hot chicks are fun, they love life. It's a different annoying. It's a down to earth, I like a down to earth girl. Bobby likes a bruised peach. Bobby likes an earthy girl. Yeah. I tell you what, Dane got a lot of shit.

Like people are like, dude, he's gay, whatever. Dane got a lot of... He started late in life, but when he started getting famous, that dude, he's smart as a dick. Damn, you know some real dark secrets, don't you? Yeah, I got some... C'mon, cancel Dane right now. C'mon, Bobby.

Cancelled Dane right now, come on Bobby. How much baby oil did he buy? Cancel Dane, cancel Dane. Bobby, honestly, how many stories do you have that could, how many stories do you have that could ruin Dane's life? None? None? No, no. I want you to tilt, cheat, don't look at the camera.

I'm writing you. No, I got none. No, he didn't fucking, he banged chicks. Yes he did. He banged chicks. This is such a clear cover up. Me and Bit Jay have like three stories on each other that could destroy each other's lives. Is that gonna be the final episode of Story Wars?

Yeah. Yeah. You go, guys, it's time to burn it down. I was there. That's what keeps us coming back every year. Like, you know what dude, we gotta come back. Dude, Bobby, you definitely have a story about being in like Minneapolis and the girl's like, help help! Bobby's like, I didn't see nothing dude.

Do you ever have your friend, you have your friend see some stuff? You have your friend see some stuff that he can't tell other people? Have you ever been raped? Because he tells people it'll use all the money that you've made? You've made all the money? You've made made all the money You take her pants off without asking just fucking she's asleep, but you want it That's have you done Dane before this crazy that was really good. Thanks dog right off the hip. That was great Bob is gonna be like you gotta fucking cut that down. You can leave it. Here's what you don't know about Dane, he's litigious. The one thing, we used to do the show, they do the meet and greet after the show,

and then there was always like a party when he did that big tour, and I would get 10 tickets to give to fans, but his management would go out and give it just to smoke, their tickets to smokers, I mean just smokers. But I would go out and give it to the college. The tickets to smokers, I mean just smokers. But I would go out and give it to college. The nothing is fucking ruled. It was a college tour, right?

No, that was the arena tour. Like when he did the big arenas. You guys did the college tour, right? That was tourgasm. How old were you during tourgasm? What's that? How old were you? 20 something?

Oh, you were in your 20s? 20, maybe. Could you imagine being at a Dane Cook show with your girlfriend and some guy walks up and gives her a ticket and you go, and what about me? I would go out and give you... If your girl left you to go backstage at a Dane Cook show... Just Dane Cook, it's employee of the month. The amount of guys that have that story from the year 2000.

It's good luck Chuck. Yeah, there'd be nothing you could do at the time. That would suck. Yeah, that would hurt. I'd be into it. What the fuck? I got a screw. What are we?

Well, you're boxing out Dan like you did to Rodman. Yeah, it's been pretty rude. I just haven't said anything. Crazy. You're like fucking Horace Grant in the paint. Get another camera. What do you want me to fucking do? I don't know.

You made a horseshoe without me. Dan. Are you and Dan fighting? No, No face out. Why you're boxing him out. He can't get a rebound like this Yeah, that's perfect. There we go, but no lower. It is uncomfortable Yeah, just sit forward as the timekeeper we got about 20 minutes then You fucking need me. Dan's always looking at that clock, looking for the way out, folks. Passionless.

Passionless? Fuck you, I make us great. Passionless. I keep us tight. I don't get any credit. I brought Shane in and he's been killing kind of I Don't know but his dad is the big dog in these parts now you guys did not see the photo that was That was I've been trying to be quiet. I've been trying to let the regs cook

These people came here for classic regs. They don't want me They came here for that classic great.. They want that smooth reg smoke. Bobby, what's your topic? I hate this fucking... Yeah, I know. What is your problem? What's your topic? Do you want to go on the end?

Do you want to switch spots? No, no, no. All right, here's my topic. You ready? Good. Bobby didn't have a topic. He's thinking of it right now. He has it in his butt.

I got it. He's got it. He goes, if you ever, ornaments? No. Do you like diamonds in the sky? I got a fucking... What do you think it did? Screens?

Giant screens. For them or against them? Big crowds, people smiling. Dude, you guys gotta cut that 20 minutes about Dane. He's gonna fucking sink me. Yeah. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface.

I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, fuckface. I got a topic, people smiling. Dude, you guys gotta cut that 20 minutes about Dane. He's gonna fucking sink me.

Yeah, I got a topic, fuckface. I'm excited. All right, if you could jump on somebody's coattails from any time. Louis Gomez, easy. But not chain excluded. If you could jump on somebody's coattail and just go with them. Like I did with Dane I did with Louie. What do you fuck? What a what a shitty question See, this is why I fucking hate you to jump on anyone

Fucking what a nigger what? Whoa, what do you say? Oh, no What? Whoa, what did he say? No, no. What? What did he just say? No, no. Neck, neck.

N-E-G-G-E-R. Yo, what? What the fuck? Let's just hope. No, neck. Let's just hope our. Holy shit. That was crazy, dude.

No, Bob. Oh, no. Feels good. You know what I meant. Yeah, sure, Kramer's. I meant, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. You know what I meant. Yeah, sure, Kramer. I meant, I didn't say that. Would that have been awesome if that girl popped in the door and she's like, what'd he say? I meant, you know, when you nag somebody. Yeah, yeah, sure.

You spend all the fucking time. Well, I'm just saying, we're not gonna sit here and fantasize about riding coattails. What a psycho. You should. I would go, I would go Jeffrey Epstein. I've got to sit here and fantasize about riding got a problem. Hey, I'm Dan Cook. Bobby watched. I was just at the University of Maryland.

Boy, let me tell you, I fucked a 15-year-old and Bobby cried on the couch. Bobby, Bobby cried on the couch when I was fucking a 15 year old. Bobby finger fucked a cripple in the corner. Hey guys, we gotta do something. She's unresponsive. That's very close to a Rodney. Hey Bobby, I'm all shook up. Hey Bobby, get rid of this body. No, no, no, no. You can't be the topic. You said it sucked.

No, it's a good topic. We're riffing on it dude. No, you're not allowed in. I can't be at the top of the air. You're not allowed in. I can't be at the top of you? No, you're not allowed in. You missed the topic of that fucking riff. You're out. Riff rules. Those are the rules. Riff rules.

Those are the riff rules. Sorry, dude. Riff rules. Don't fucking be a baby. No. Enjoy a Louis List podcast. No, don't do this. Don't do that.

Skim fucking milk. Imagine the regs without Lewis. Yeah. Sounds great, actually. You know, it sounds like a better show. If we had to get rid of one of us, who would it be? Do you guys want to know what time it is? No, Dan.

I vote me. I was having fun. Why are you trying to ruin it with the time? Don't do this. Don't turn on their side. Yeah. This is what we do. I'm going to join the regs. You love rules.

Stop it. No, I hate rules. Stop it. I fucking No, this is what we do. I'm gonna join the regs. You love rules. Stop it. No, I hate rules. Stop it. I fucking hate rules. You're a white. Everybody knows I hate rules. Shane, you're a white male. Your father would be disappointed.

Shane, you have to swap out two people from Protect Our Parks for two of the regs to make the perfect podcast in your opinion. Now that's a topic. That's a topic. Wow. Do you see? You got there through my fucking topic. No, well how?

The Elvis riff was great Bobby. I motivated you. Shane. No, go back to fighting him. No. So I don't have to answer it. No, I would say obviously you need rogues. Otherwise, it's nothing. Yeah Shut up freaks. Freaks! Damn you people freaks! Now I'd say I need Danny Sodies. I need Sodies in my life. I love you. Yeah, and then... And who are you getting rid of? I said we need For me and then I would say Okay, I just need me we need Lewis what he's not show Joe damn they don't need quips

Diversity now he lost the gun in the butt thing earlier and he kind of needs a way Anyway when our show is gonna be better. Yeah, it's gonna be great. Who do we get? Aurene mark, that's gonna be great. That is a good show. Yes, actually a better show. You guys the best of luck It's alright we can make that work I would love to be on Rogan's coattails. Ari's been funny a couple times. He'll piss in something and throw it at somebody. Yeah, he does wacky stuff. Oh yeah, that's what I was going to tell you.

Then Ari stole my phone. We lose voices and we get fucking wacky shit. Ari stole my phone and I nearly shut down the entire festival. I told him to turn off all the music and I started yelling at all the employees to find my phone and I nearly shut down the entire festival. And I was like, I told him to turn off all the music and I started yelling at all the employees to find my phone. And it was just Ari with it in his pocket in the corner. How hard did you commit to that? I was so angry, dude.

I had to use the find my iPhone thing. New topic. This is my topic. Just go, something else. All right, it's fine. Dude, that is the fucking funniest thing I've seen on this podcast. You just hit the forward button on Lewis.

15 seconds, 15 seconds. We're in the conduit. Nah, it sucks. So fucking ad read. That's what this is. That's an ad read story. That's like changing the song from the backseat. Yeah, yeah.

You reached over the seat, you went, no. Different topic. All right, I already took your phone and you were upset. I was upset. Oh, you gave me such anxiety, why would you do that to somebody? If you talk like this, you're never gonna make it on Protect Our Parks. By the way, you can trace every episode of the regs,

and it is just a giant audition for Lewis to get on Protect Our Parks. He's brought it up so many times, he's not switching people. I listen to the regs. I hear you little motherfuckers talking shit. What? Yeah, fuck Protect Our Parks, dude.

This is better. And then you're all like, yeah, let's never do this again. I mean, we are friends. It would be better if Dan wasn't always watching the time. By the way, we're close to done. Come on, Dan. Yeah, we got to wait for that one last pop. Yeah, it's going to be a good one. Dan. Yeah, we gotta wait for that one last pop. Yeah, it's gonna be a good one.

I can feel it. We need a first and last pop. Here we go. We did leave that on the table, Shane. I was saying, good. All right, you know what? I'll take that bandana. There you go.

Everyone had it. That's fun. Can I have a Bud Light? Oh, nice. That worked. Yeah, spring to action. Use my retarded Jedi tricks. Shane, what's your topic? Did you bring a topic to the show?

Can somebody else pass out so we can end this thing? No, this is good. You guys are... I don't want to say it's not going great, but I can hear the green room conversation right now. Sorry, it was never gonna go... Has the podcast worked here yet? Yeah. They're usually pretty bad. It's all hot standing guys. No, I feel like Legion of Skanks was great earlier today. Yes, the rap part was, but then the talking part was... It was great when that girl fell. Yeah, that was... That was like a highlight of the show, I feel like. If they asked you to go and leave this and go to Protect Our Parks, would you? No, you know I fucking love you guys. I'm gonna sell out bitch.

You'd be so rich, you'd be crazy. I would leave. If they said there was a 4% chance that I could be on the show, I'd just gotta come and audition one time, but I gotta leave the regs just for the 4%, I would leave. I'd be fucking gone. You guys make money? Come on, Bobby. Folks, this episode once again is brought to you by Small Batch Cigars.

You love them. I love cigars. We're here at Skankfest. We're recording this at Skankfest, a little peek behind the curtain, and we have a whole cigar tent downstairs. I haven't been able to smoke yet, but we got 100% of the cigars from Small Batch.

In real time, can I ask you how excited you are to go rip a cigar from Small Batch in the cigar tent? I'm pumped. Well, I'm not even gonna do it in the tent. I'm gonna do it on stage during the regs. Like a real badass. This is America, although I'm a little light on food, I'm a little high on caffeine,

and a cigar might just put me right over the edge. But if you barf better, better ratings. I'll barf. I'm happy to barf. Folks, they got free shipping on every order. This is the best company. They were ordered, they were cigar people themselves. Yeah. They loved ordering cigars. They thought it was a pain in the ass, which it is. So they created this company and it's the best. Every single order comes with the Boveda pack, which is huge. I don't know if you're, it's not really a cigar guy. But I've, being around cigar guys, you and Bobby, I know the Boveda pack which is huge I don't know if you're not really a cigar guy. But I've being around cigar guys you and Bobby I know the Boveda pack is giant because it keeps those cigars nice and fresh. If you don't have one you buy a

bunch of cigars for a bunch of money and then they just turn into cracked crap like my lips in the winter time. Oh I don't mean to off on a rant here babe. You're okay babe. Almost every single order delivers in two to three days that's insane free Boita pack as we mentioned It's the most thorough packaging in the industry and all you got to do is use code regs discount code for 10% off that that's killer plus five percent rewards points. I love any company has rewards points. Keep me coming back I want to be a rewards club member if you want it

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Absolutely. Let's get back to the show. Louis, here's the topic. If you had to give this festival up, your fucking pancreas, you're dying. I'm dying. You're on your deathbed. You're going to give the festival to be the face the runner the whatever you are to this festival who's taken over is it James is it a comic is it it's not James

who'd make it fucking about like nitty-gritty shit my father was a skank He said the N-word, I say the N-word. The N-word turtles. Yeah, no, no, no, I wouldn't give a damn. I mean, who is the comic that personifies Skankfest? I mean, look, there's no other person that personifies Skankfest more than Ari Shaffir. Let's get real. Yeah. Yeah. He's a piece of shit.

Do it, sell it, strip this thing for parts. I know. Ari Shaffir is a fucking... Let's get real. Yeah. Yeah. He's a piece of shit. Dude, sell it and strip this thing for parts. I know. Ari Shaffir is a fucking, he's the best and worst person I've ever met in my entire life. It's true. He hurts me so much every time.

Yeah. He is hurtful. Yeah. I like him. He left a bloody shit in my toilet. A couple times. He left a, he did that to me too. Yeah.

And then he does the thing where he shows up at your house and he just holds the finger on the buzzard of the door like this. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr grew up and was a person. This is kind of what I'm saying about my phone before. I want to bring it back, boys, but he did take my phone. We all... Guys, it was something else. You should have seen me. Oh, man. I bet you were so mad. I was so mad. How mad? This mad. Whoa! Everybody's all like,

oh, fuck Dan for being the timekeeper. Okay. Dan, if you weren't looking at the time, we'd just be flowing right now, but now we're all thinking about the time, dude. No you want to look at the time we just be flowing right now but now we're all thinking okay we're fucking bombin I got time this is fun I got still 45 minutes left in there I got nowhere to be who cares Bobby just fucking just move flow do whatever and the people are free to live a great time everyone loves this

This is the best podcast ever. Yeah. Yeah. Dickhead. No, this is good. They love it, dude. They don't have to fucking laugh for a comedy show to be good. Anyone can come up here and be like, oh, we're laughing and having a good time.

Sometimes you've got to have people stand and get uncomfortable and hot and almost faint. That's nice. There's a lady that died, came back, and then died again and then came back. Yeah. Is she back? Is that her? That's nice. There's a lady that died came back and then died again and then came back. Yeah She back is that her dude if she comes back, that's gonna be the biggest pop Topics I'm back. I am the topic. We should give out more vodka So we've had we've had nobody die. We can't give up more vodka

That's true, but we've had nobody die at skank fest and I don't think we've ever had an actual fistfight at this game does have we? That's true, but we've had nobody die at Skank Fest and I don't think we've ever had an actual fistfight at Skank Fest, have we? Even in the early days? No, nothing. There was one dude from England that was trying to fight people online in Brooklyn and I just gave him a hug and said Go home and he was like, oh, I might, and he started crying. Really? Yeah, I got a topic. What would you have done in this situation? All of you guys and I know I'm gonna be the little bitch I was at a dropkick Murphy's show the other day and people still they want to fight even though We're all in our 40s and 50s now That people still want to fight there and this guy came up

He was drunk sunglasses Celtics hat and there was like plastic cups at my feet and just started kicking the cups at me Like kicking like a child. What's that? That's like a child. Yeah, he was doing that He was like this and he's like I had heard him say he's like I gotta get someone to fight I want to fight somebody and he came up and started kicking a cup at my feet and I did nothing yeah I just went what do you have any cups did he kick at your feet there's one but he kept kicking it over and over again and then I just looked at him and he was looking back at me and I was like I don't I don't know and then he walked back behind me he goes sorry man I just

fucking I had to kick that and I was my niece and I was like all right how old is your niece 11 dropkick Murphy's got she's 20 yeah but what would you have done should I have fought up should I know well how hard is your niece she's 20 if she's pretty hot I would have had to fight him no she had nothing to do with it she was gonna defend your hot niece's honor yeah I'll be damned if somebody's going to make me look like a punk. Would you have fought her? What would you have done? Louis would have absolutely fought her. I probably would have said, I would have probably been like, dude, also people just don't kick

things at me, Joe. You're a nerd. They're going to see you. They're going to want to bully you. That guy's going to be like, I'm not going to kick it at this Puerto Rican guy dressed like Run DMC. That's crazy. And if he does, he's a fucking problem.

Yeah, dude. And that guy can really fight in that case that guy goes now I want the biggest guy here you pick and choose your battles you look like a dweeb is oi just so he's like fucking Let me know why you apologized Joe as you get this all the time Joe has just trying to kick Joe has no hair on his legs No, that's here. You just can't see you can't want you have no hair. Yeah, there's nothing wrong that Joe. It's nice Yeah, these are nice blonde legs. My shorts are a little short and tight. Yeah, if I would have been challenged

in front of my niece, I would have had to defend myself. But don't you think it's funner to be like this? Like he looked like an idiot. Is it more fun? I made him look stupid, bro. You think you made him look stupid? That's right. You don't think he's just telling the story

on another podcast and being like, I met this fucking dork and I made him look like a bitch? Well, we didn't meet. It wasn't like I was like, hey, nice to meet you. He tried to bait me like I met this fucking dork and I made him look like a bitch we didn't meet it wasn't like I was like hey nice to meet you he tried to they tried to he tried to bait me and I didn't go for it when the last time you got baited into like a fight never baited into a fight yeah what am I a fucking Lewis do you think that's a common thing for other people yeah yeah people are baited into fights yeah we, people are baited into fights. Yeah. We've all been baited into fights.

You didn't go out looking for a fight one day. Sure. You fucking get bit. There's a little worm. You fucking. You got baited. I feel like you have started fights though. Not really.

I finish them. What about when you smacked the frisbee at the guy in the park? That guy was starting with us, Joe. That guy was telling us not to play frisbee at the guy in the park? That guy was starting with us, Joe. That guy was telling us not to play frisbee in the park. It's not his park. And I know that's technically a rule of the park, that you can't play frisbee, but it's still not his park. To enforce the rules.

I had to protect the park. And with that, protect our park. No, no, no, no, no. No, man, no, fuck you. I've changed the subject. Fuck you. No, you can't, you can't end it. And with that, protect our party. No, man, no, fuck you. No, man. No, man. No, man.

No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man.

No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, man. No, yeah. Shane's out here fucking killing it.

You know how many voices I've done? I've done so many fucking voices, dude. Yeah, that Dane Cook shit was pretty impressive. It was pretty sick. Thank you. Honestly, I worked on it this morning, and I hope it got brought up... in the mirror.

You can keep your secret safe with us. I just can't fucking sit like this. What do you mean? I want to do this. All right, fine. You want to give the cold shoulder to Dan? No, I don't want to do that. Switch, What do you mean? I want to do this. All right, fine. You want to give the cold shoulder to Dan? No, I don't want to do that. Switch, you can do it.

I'll do this. Yeah, we're gonna go one-on-one? Yeah, let's do one-on-one. How you doing, Dan? Welcome to the Side Podcast, Bobby and Dan. Hey guys, sorry if this is a little too brown in the other one. Checking your phone, Lewis?

Is that a topic? He's getting topics. He's talking about topics. Dude, my topic was Bobby Ed Game and it fell flat and I'm upset about it. Shane, is there anything you'd like to know about the behind the scenes of the regs? You're a fan. Is there anything you'd like to know about us? I am a fan. I've listened to almost every episode. Wow.

I don't know. You guys seem to get along. Yeah. Is this this gonna reveal a juicy secret about protect our parks who's the one now we all who's the one keeping it together Lewis yeah the rest of you guys don't wouldn't fucking care at all if it wasn't for me Lewis said hey guys protect our parks is doing really well we should do the regs regularly. Well, what you guys missed We're failing You're telling me you guys this gonna be it guys, you know what this is the last regs wherever no fucking now

Regs is great. Did fuck I had a she's got a shirt Dude, if that girl if that girl comes back that girl comes back We'll do the regs for more, but we gotta get her back. Find her. No, get her back. I wanna see her. She's fine, I think. That guy's the funniest guy on the show.

What happened? She's outside? Yeah, she's outside. She's fine. She's getting a sunburn. Get her to come back. This is a real she's at a farm upstate kind of shit. This is dead dog talk. That a farm upstate kind of shit

That girl from middle school just has her Got your fan and she's got fleas She's good. Hold on this grats. Thanks. These are good bits. We're doing Crazy back there. Let's just keep this thing going forever Shane are you trying to claim that you guys protect our practice gets more than a hundred and seventy thousand hundred and seventy thousand that's a lot that's actually really good yeah that's like a football stadium and then a baseball stadium yeah you guys are getting more than that yes but either way it's like to see the numbers she wanted to do us a favor and when you're on Protect Our Parks, just promote the regs

two or three times per show. I promise, I will. Two or three times per show. I'll absolutely do that. During the next one, try to see how many times you can do it. That'll be very funny to watch. See how many times in a five hour drunk episode you can promote the regs. I'll say it the entire time.

Dude, I never thought we'd flip you into a bowl. I'm willing to offer you $25 every time you mention the regs. We'll do a counter. I'm gonna say it a thousand times. Oh dude, Shane, I want you to bankrupt Joe. But then our next episode gets 15 million views. That's all you say? You're like Groot and you just say regs? I think something happened to Shane. He just kept saying regs. He's really got a problem. Dude, Liz is watching at home going, shut up, shut up. Regs, regs, regs, regs. Shane, Shane, does Joe know about the regs?

Does Joe? I don't know. Of course he knows. He knows about the regs. He's in the know. He's heard of you. Come on. He's a godfather of comedy.

He has to know about the regs. I'm one of the top guests. I want to see that lady. Is she alive? I want to see her out of her shoulder pads in a sweatsuit. Somebody go get her. She's not going to return today. Fine, go get her. Go get her.

The guy that keeps on saying she's fine, go get her, dude. She says go get her. Show her to us. Bring her. Show her to us. Bring her. She's fine. Go get her. Show her to us. Bring her. Show her to us. Bring her. She's fine.

Go get her, fine. I'm saying she's fine, dude. Right now she's at Dad Beach just having a time. Are you on drugs? You're sober? Go get her. You're just drunk? Yeah, Paco, go get her.

Guys, give it up for Paco. Come on, folks. Paco, get her. And cue up the Ultimate Warrior theme if she's okay. Ooh, do you guys have music? That'd be sick. Play the Undertaker music. Dumb.

Turn the lights out, bring her in. That'd be sick. She raises the lights. The dead man. Can you do that Danny? Can you make anything happen in real time? I'm watching you sweat right now. Danny, come up.

It's your fault. You started walking toward the sound thing and then stopped and backed away from it slowly. You know this is your fault that it's not that fucking funny right now? toward the sound thing and then stopped and backed away from it slowly you know this is you know this is your fault that it's not that fucking funny right now we've watching you scurry around fuck yes Shane we can't say these things yes you fucked a whole vibe up dude we were gonna miss Give it to your hands. Danny, can I do five minutes? Yeah, let's do like one minute like a Kill Tony set. You do one minute and then we'll critique you.

You're retarded enough. Christine, you sure you're good? All right, I gotta go. Oh, where you going? I have to go do stand up. Christine, you're taking Shane away? Christine, don't be an asshole. It's going to be bad.

I'm going to go bomb. Have fun. Shane Gillis, everybody. Thank you. You guys are the best. The regs Gillis. Shane Gillis, everybody! Come on. Thank you. Thank you. You guys are the best. The regs fucking rule. The regs is better than Protect Our Parks. I'll see you guys.

Isolate it. Flip it. Isolate it. Flip that. I love you. Yeah. Bye, everybody. Yeah.

Is she alive? Oh, wait. Is she? Let me see the woman before I leave. I need to see her. Make sure she's alive. Did Vanko find her? Dude. Proof of life. What if he leave. I need to see her. Did Taco find him? Make sure she's alive.

Dude. Proof of life. I'll tell you what, they threw her over the third balcony. What if she was a rat the whole time? Oh. Get it? Hell yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Shane Gallas.

Great job, Shane. Shane, you're the best. Maybe, maybe, maybe it was Shane. Maybe we should start from the top. Fucking blow these people away. The regs. Now we're warmed up. Hit record. Yeah.

All right, well, we're gonna wrap this, guys. We gotta go. What? I feel like you're angry at us. Why am I angry at you? You know the show is doing bad when Lewis is like, we gotta wrap it up. Are you mad at us? I have I angry at you? You know the show is doing bad when Lewis is like, we gotta wrap it up.

Are you mad at us? I have to go host the Roastmasters. That's why! In half an hour. Alright, so we do 28 more minutes. So let's do 28 more minutes, you fucking assholes. Fucking riff. You know, what do you want me to say?

Topic, sweatshirt or sweatsuit? Who wore it better? Dude, I'm fucking sweating my fucking dick. Yeah, it's 103 degrees out. That woman might be dead. Dude, say it again. She's not fine. Stop saying she's safe.

I hope, dude, honestly, the funniest thing would be is if you were at every show right there, and you always told people she was fine. They're like, what are you talking about? She's fine. She's okay. She's at another show. Did they kill her? Is that what they do at Skankfest? They just bury the bodies during the show? I think this guy is fucking hilarious.

There's a room full of barrel-chested girls somewhere that passed out. We're gonna miss you, Queen. Guys, pour one out for our fallen soldier. Pour out the whole bottle. RIP. Alright, we really do have to wrap this, guys. I love you guys. I love you too. Regs.com. Guys, go check out the Regs everywhere you find podcasts. Two words. We'll get them next time.

Skyfest 2025. What did you guys think? More guests? Yeah! I said no guests, dude. We don't need guests, dude. It threw the vibe off, dude. I do blame, now that Shane's out of the room,

I do blame Shane. I do. I do blame Shane. Yeah, the guest thing threw the fucking fire off. And it was fucking climb our ass Joe and climb our ass Dan that wanted to have Shane on the show the whole time. We could have been in here busting each other's balls. We could have been riffing, doing Macho Man voice.

But then Shane gets here, you guys want to fucking slob his knob. I'm sorry I fall asleep in his eyes. I'm sorry that I am the timekeeper. We love you guys. Thank you guys so much for coming out. See you guys later. See you later.

Bye.