Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Live from the Montreal Comedy Festival

Episode Date: August 7, 2017

With guests Ari Shaffir, Jim Norton, Dan Soder, Mike Calta and Ron Bennington. It’s the second time YKWD has been there for the podcast series. A hilarious episode with a special appearance by Maximus Kelly. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. What's happening to Robert Kelly here? I'm back to tell you about one of my favorite sponsors, DeepDiscount.com. Okay, let's talk about DeepDiscount.com. A website loaded with CDs, vinyl, DVD, and Blu-rays. Video games and more. See for yourself. Go to DeepDiscount.com or just click their logo on my homepage. RyeCast.com slash Robert Kelly. DeepDiscount eliminates the need to spend the night searching for something to watch on

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Buy it own it. Watch it when you want. Check it out now. Thank you, Deep Discount. Max, who's your favorite sponsor? Am I my podcast? A Chippa! No.

Yeah. Deep Discount. Deep Discount, by the way. Who are they? Deep Discount. What? Deep Discount. Oh.

Ha, ha, ha. Chippa. Oh. See this crown dot come Chipper I'm Bennington, Dan Soda, Irish affair, and the great Mike Calta is here. Welcome to Feel Free to take your microphones out of these midget stands. It's a little person stands, Robert. I feel like we're going down on people, like this is how you learn how to suck cock. I like how we do it. I like how we do it. I learned how to do it.

I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it.

I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. I learned how to do it. IR. We look like the sad version of the Justice League. Who would I be? Not Flash, you'd be slow.

You motherfucker. What am I supposed to say? You look Fleetfooted, you don't. Did you say Fleetfooted? Yeah. It's an alliteration and it made a third of the people laugh. Nobody knows what fucking flea food it meant. Well, in corporate dance speak, that's success. Who would you be if you'd be Captain America?

I'd be Wonder Woman, honey. God, he's such a corporate asshole. Who would I be? I'd be the Hulk. The Hulk's not the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's

the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's the Hulk that's The fuck goes back to normal sometimes That's a fucking great point That's such a Christ All right, well who would my counter be? Spit it out? Uh, Superman, he's Tampa man Tampa man Tampa man Tampa man He just fuck strippers

Yeah, he smokes the guards, fuck strippers He just shard off and give Most of his, most of his life is spent driving over a bridge. He loses his power as a new port richie and brain king. It's just like, oh, what happened? I was so famous just five miles ago. Oh my god, there's my, oh, there he is. This is going to be trouble.

My shirt's in my high body. From new faces from new faces. Yeah, this is the guy what best to the fest this year Hi, buddy come over here. Oh, it's right. It's like the mumbles are in town Yeah, yeah, that's that right next to your dad's monkey Yeah, yeah, that's that right next to your dad's monkey. Yeah They got a learn you got to teach him when they're young it's on the DNA that joke was better than the thousand I said my mother has something on her back. Oh Come on What's up you want to sit on my lap? He's trying to lift your leg with no

I don't want to watch your son slip a disc at four Like dad The pack surgery areas you look so cool, dude. I like that haircut. Well, it's My lap I don't know you That was good instinct. You see, a storm is sort of, this guy grabbed them. No, no, no, no, no. I would've got to the candy eventually.

Oh, put it on here, okay. What do you have to say? You say. Okay, you say. I like the director. Do you have a fun time? Yeah. You did what you do with Mama.

It's not like the light does not work. It's not like the light does not work. You're it's not like this podcast someday you better get your shit together I do see a podcast with you and Steph Curry's daughter That's pretty good. Yeah I like it. I thought it right. That was a favorite superhero Oh, you try say who's your favorite soup here? Batman! Yeah, Batman everybody, let me hear it. Batman. Batman. Yeah, it knows this Justice League at least.

Justice League. All right, buddy. Well listen, we're gonna do this podcast. I don't mean to give you the boop, but you're not really cutting it. Yeah, I thought you'd do a lot better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You really are as delusional do a lot better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You really are as delusional as a new face.

Yes. No, I did good. I did good. I think it was good. Was it good? Yeah. Yeah. All right, I love you, buddy.

Go shine on mama. Sit in the back, OK? I'm sitting in here. Yeah, that's better. We need to see for the generic comedian to come up here. I have a very special guest that showed up. Jim Norton is in the house, but Max took your microphone. We got to give a little Jimmy his microphone back.

Is that OK? I'm using it. Yeah, he is. Oh, he really does get it from his father. Dad, it's my mic. Why do I have to give it up? Can we? Okay, this is what we're going to do. We're going to give that mic to Michael.

We're going to give that mic to Ron. This is going to be our mic. Look, give that mic. See the big guy? Looks like daddy. Okay, yeah. I'm going to better look in the daddy. Come on up, Jim. a mic look give that my see the big guy looks like daddy okay look in the daddy come on out Jim and we're just gonna move down a little

we have a chair right here okay we have that chair coconut right here and we can all squeeze in here. There's Norton taking a microphone away from a baby. That's right. Who was that? What's going on? The piece of garbage.

Yeah. Yeah. Great impression. Thank you very much. Yeah. He's a different person, but I do sound like I'm going to come with my children. I thought Chip was going to make an appearance today.

I know, but Jim forgot Chip's wigs. It's just at 49 years old, it's too embarrassing to talk like that in front of strangers. What's his goal to do? Alright. Do you love Chip? Yeah. Who's your, how much you love Chip? You know daddy hates Chip, right?

Do you know daddy is Chip? Is it based on me? You know. You're not Chip. Dad is not white. Do you know how happy that makes me? I can't. He just screamed.

You're not Chip Dad. You'll never be Chip. Stop trying to be Chip. You will not be Chip. Everyone, it was a funny joke. OK. Good boy. I mean, it almost is like his podcasting skill

was passed down. So, Dan, in the waiting time, someday, you're going to fire Chris Goatball on air. And son, this is my Chris Goatball, and now it's your Chris Goatball. And the best thing is, this is going to be the argument they have when he's 17 and he wants to call you. You're never going to be chipped. And the best is from a funny joke.

That's right, okay. I'm going to sit there. I shrunk. I listen, you got to go sit with your mother. I just got to. You want me to sit with your mother. I just got you You want me to throw him out so he doesn't hate you? Okay, the one second because we got a Flake's on running away. Is my wife? Yeah, yeah, I don't

You know why you're clapping for her Because of what you has to put up with. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER She really wants to stay. OK, listen. Where are you going? If she takes him, he's going to cry. You know that.

Listen, Max, give me one second. You want to sit up here with that? Let me just talk a little bit. You got it? Then you can, can you give it back? Yeah, you'll give it back. Yeah, we'll give it back. Yeah.

You just got to taste the podcasting, you guys want to let go? Well, why don't you whisper your questions into his ear and then he can ask everybody. Okay, here we go. I don't like it. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Not that. That's not easy. That's my sh- Not that sh- Dude, what you see is for longer questions. But you hold on to sh- Joe. What? You know what I'm saying?

I never said Joe. I never said Joe. No, no. Oh, man. Bob, you're making him bomb. Thank you. Hey, go, buddy. That's for you.

The big one? Why is he got the big one? Listen. Bob you're making him bomb Hey, go buddy, that's for you big one. Why is he got the big one? Listen? You want the big one? It's not even a lot Immediately You know Yeah, here we go, Is that what's fucking him? Bob, he can't figure it out, but it's not fucking. They're getting immediately.

Bob, Bob, it's trick longer by the fake mic than it was outside. I just got left the salad. Bob, he said, Dad, you guys can hear me, right? And the funny, too, look Joker from serious. Alright, yeah. We'll take this baby to serious. Get with living here. Okay, yeah.

And this was a funny joke. Out of all of Daddy's friends, who's your favorite? Chipmunk! Chipmunk is an asshole. Who blows? Max, but you know chips. He's not a, he's not that gym. Yeah.

That's all of the gym fans reaction to Chip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We kinda know it's gym. It's from gym. It's like a funny joke. Oh, this is a healthy, yelts is all the way out.

Now listen, mommy's going to get you a chocolate'm going to be joking. I'm going to be joking. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Oh, this is going to be fun. Bye bye everyone! I'm Maxima, so I love you buddy give me a kiss. Yeah I love you, I'm Maxima. Yeah you're on the podcast, I love you kid.

I love you too! Alright stop, you really are a ham, aren't you? Yeah If Snowball would have had an eighth of your son's personality he'd still be I have a person out there! A person out there? He's a person out there, everybody clap for him. Yeah!

There goes a big personality. By the way, the most important part of that, the most important thing to learn was that you couldn't get him off and then one going down, he's like, all right, I'm gonna go. Yeah. Wow, that was a nightmare. Now that was great, I love you, buddy. Take care.

I'm right here. Not here. I'm not here. Not here. Bye, honey. This is the moment where I was waiting to talk shit about one of your friends until they leave. Yeah, well, I got to wait to my wife's out of the room.

She looked back here at trouble. All right. What's up? So here we are in Montreal. Who would Jim be if he was a superhero? Oh, we're still doing this? I would just want to know what Jim would be. Well, if he's superhero power, he'd be trans man. Yeah. I can always find the trans person. No. I like it. Let's do a six-picture deal. Well, how many times you've been up in Montreal? This is my third time.

Your third time? Are you been up in how many times? Seven or eight? Seven or eight? Chimbo. Oh, Bob. Maybe ten or twelve, I don't know. Ten or twelve?

With the nasty show, sure, maybe ten. But you never got up on new faces, right? No. You never got up on new faces. No. It's only stopped trying. I never did regular new faces. I did JV new faces. Unrepped. That's a new faces, right? No. You never got up a new faces. No. It's only stopped trying. I never did regular new faces. I did JV new faces.

Unrepped. That's a new faces. Unrepped. They did. Stop trying to be one of us. I'm not trying to be one of you. It's not due comedy in the 80s. I'm not.

Neither did I. You fucked it up. Well, I was close though. Early 90s. Yeah. It was first Clinton administration. Did you have Clinton running for office jokes? Me?

No. Yes, you did. I say, you spoke potton, didn't it, hell? I love Bobby's an early neck, he's political comic. There's actually some folks that still do Clinton jokes that we know. Who? What are you going to do?

I'm hoping you're going to spill the beans. I'm not going to spill the beans. What do you think I'm undo? I'm hoping you're gonna spill the beans. I'm not gonna spill the beans. What do you think I'm stupid? I'm not powerful enough in this business to spill beans. Plus I like beans. Is it Louis C.K.? That's why you can't say it. No, it's not Louis.

He never had a fuck. He's not political. Does he have political humor? I don't know. I would love to see you as a svelte. Fucking 92, Robert Kelly. Fucking combing your hair back What's being Clinton jokes so it is wife

That's not funny. I saw of you used to be fat. I was bad. Oh my, you fat, you look like an ugly woman when you're fat. That's just hurt. I mean, back in the day, you were big. You were really big, tough crowd. I forgot you've been skinny for so long now. I forgot that you were ever fat.

I was bad, yeah. You were bad. You had like these rosy cheeks. You know how I knew I was getting fat? I was bad, yeah. You were bad, you had like these rosy cheeks. You know how I knew I was getting fat? When I was on Tough Crowd one time, and me and Nick DePolo were arguing in the office. And this is where we were first creating Tough Crowd. We were doing the first eight episodes,

and it was a sketch where I'm walking down the street, and Nick goes to me, oh yeah, you're fat fuck! And he called me that in an argument. I'm like, the fact that he fired that out in an argument as a legitimate thing to say to me. Like, you know what I mean? I have to lose weight, but that was where it made me go, like, I'm like the fact that he fired that out in argument as a legitimate thing to say to me like you and me like I have to lose weight, but that was where it made me go like I'm really overweight. Maybe I should call Nick

And then 15 years later you decided to do it It is a good point. It didn't affect me right away Kind of sunk you know, but time Are you've never been fat? I was a little bit. Yeah, in college, I got to play 250. Really? 250? What do you know? I'm like 175.

Wow, 250. You were a little chubby Jewish kid. Yeah, for sure. I was on my side, the fat would like hit the ground and mold the level. All right, I'm describing my afternoon. I want to fucking dim sum today. I took a shit. I thought I was gonna pass out on the toilet.

I literally went like this, so I was like, I'll just sleep here. With a dim sum Asian place? Dim sum? Yeah. No, it's a dumb Asian guy. Oh, Bob, I don't go for that type of humor. I apologize. Oh yeah, it's the, you go and you get, it's Chinese breakfast.

Ooh. You go, you go and you get it's it's Chinese breakfast. Oh, you go You go and you get the dumplings you've had dim sum not for breakfast. That's what's their breakfast thing? You keep saying that it is a breakfast thing you go on the first walk Kidding stop shooting. Yeah, nobody trust you. It is Stand up stand up stand up Stand up, stand up, stand up. Stand up. Stand up for you. But he's a back.

Why do you like to do the one-beaut? I'm taking the black guy's view. That's what they want. I've had zips. I finally go to the black guy and you fucking turn on him. It's not that his life doesn't matter. It's what I'm saying. Can this be edited?

Is there any, do I have any Asian fans? Blossoms goes against. Can somebody go in the hallway and grab an Asian person? Yeah. Don't tell them what you're doing, just grab them and drag them in there. I'd be fighting like a motherfucker once you got in the room. What?

Is it breakfast or not? I think someone's not just strictly. I got this on for dinner. You can have breakfast for dinner. You can have it. You can have breakfast for dinner. Yeah, normal thing. You can't have cereal for dinner. Bobby sounds like a kid that was left alone.

And he gets to pick his own dinner. Dim sum for dinner. Firesation food. There's no runs. I'm sorry. I tuned out once your kid left. I mean, it's awful when we peak early, you know? It's not happened. I told her to bring him in towards the end. Right.

And then my wife listened now. She brought him in right in the middle. And that thought he was just going to stay back. As soon as you saw me, he ran up to see me. It was there would have been a... Because it was the first time you saw you in months. You know what I mean? Not this kid.

I want you to bring that kid back in with four others and see if you can pick him out of a wine bottle. I thought he was like, give me five fucking minutes. That looks like my mom's eyes. I don't know, that could be mine. Mike, do you have kids? I do have two kids. You bring a beautiful kid.

And now they're bringing them anywhere. Yeah. No, nobody wants to hear your fucking kids on the show. Oh. Never. Okay. What the fuck, table laughing? But Bobby, they were laughing at you for not being able to control your own family. You're doing fucking radio show with your kid.

Yes, now that he's an adult, you know? She's a fucking grandmother already. Yeah, your daughter is a grandmother. He's white kid. That he thinks of Harry says. He has no his tone issues. Okay, you never know when he's fucking joking or not. He's always joking.

Oh, that should be the name of your next special. I like that. Somebody call Robbie calls. That is that would catch your eyes on Netflix. That gets switching through. You're like always joking. Always joking. I'm going to be like, I should fear his next four hour special. I spit my piece that came burns of comedy That's better in your face. Yes, you did Why did you turn away usually like this No, all right too much

Are actually this is I did so much I don't know when are he's fucking off or not? I was hanging out with Jim Cerepico and Celetti today and by what we have a lunch and I'm telling them praising how nice Ari is that he took out new faces and to lunch he told me the day he took out new faces to lunch and one of the new faces with the adjard freed was there and he says no he didn't. I go, no, he sent the letter. I go, I've never gotten anything from that man. Unwrapped, that's an unwrapped. That's the unwrapped. But I was like, maybe he's fucking lying. This might have been, he walks in and just lies and says,

oh, I took all the new faces out and then I spread. They're like, that's how the rumors spreads that he's a swell guy. And he's really just a hunk of shit trying to get his balls sucked. I can be both. But he actually took out unwrapped. The whole 10 unwrapped comics took him all out to lunch. And you took them as opposed to the other ones,

because they got nothing. They got nothing. You take them, yeah, he took them out to breakfast. They all had dim sum. Which is a fucking breakfast everybody. Ronnie, it's a fucking breakfast. And if anybody knows it's you too. I don't know.

Let me say that if it is, that's the saddest breakfast anyone's ever had. Dumplings? Are you, you're not really sad? You're not a sad person. In a world of pancakes to eat dumplings, sad. Sad. I mean, you make a valid point.

Yeah. But that's a, you make a valid point? Yeah. But that's a Chinese pancake, a dumpling. That's not at all what that is. Yeah, that's not even possible. Did you know you're a fucking improv? Not that bad. Yeah. Dumblings aren't flat.

Dumblings are plump, aren't they? Yeah, they're full of things. Isn't a dumpling. I've been called a dumpling. We called you a dumpling. What's that? I mean, aren't they? Yeah, they're full of things. He's in a dump, you know, I've been called a dumpling. He called you a dumpling. What's that? I said, who called you a dumpling? The hooker that was cheating on his chest.

He goes, give me the dumpling. No, he said it. He said that looks like a dumpling. No, she was aged. I said, that looks like a dumpling. What? What are you looking at? Tell you what's going on. On the menu, that's a number two. On the menu? dumpling

On the menu that's a number two on the menu. Give me the number two I went did you have dumb dimson ever yeah in the afternoon hours? I have had them somewhere late night. You never went in the morning. No. Has anybody went in the morning? I have been in the morning. Things went in the morning. Hey, where are you two going? Get some dives up. Ah! That was probably industry.

That was somebody from some network that, ah, we should come down. Ah, we're going to leave. These guys have nothing to offer. You just walked crackle. They were big. We know it's not CSO. CSO's like, we'll do it.

How about a whole show about Dim Sum, huh? Starting Big J. I told you this earlier, Dan did walk his childhood hero Virgil, the rest of his life, was at the show. And Dan was so excited. And while he was on stage, he saw Virgil just rest of last night was at the show. Yeah, and Dan was so excited and while he was on stage, he saw Virgil just got up. And it was the worst. Yeah, it was the worst.

I didn't even see him walk out. I looked to the right of the stage, talked to someone in the crowd, looked back and he was gone. Oh, and I was like, did you just fucking dad me? Did your dad leave a die? He did left then died. He doubled up.

We call that a Gary double down. He goes, first of Malevia, let you know him around for about five years, then I'm dying. Be at Virgil, walked out, and then it stung. But then you were on Sam and Jim this morning. This morning they had Virgil on and we did. She walked the fuck out. Because he was like, he was like, hang on with a four-year-old. I just kept on.

Yay! He was the four-year-old. That was the highlight of the show. No? All right. Hey man, you did it with too much emphasis. You're right. Yeah, he was, he was a fucking weirdo.

Right. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he kept spilling his soda. I was like, two hands Virgil. I thought it was chic. That was Virgil? No, that was Virgil. Yeah, chic is not black Well, yeah, but that's a little racist to say no, it's a fact She is I thought you're making a fashion statement You know what they say

Virgil's town this what chic is not black That's a great joke Virgil is just suck his own dick in the locker room. No way Yeah, that was the big rumor among all the boys the Virgil's joke. Virgil is just suck his own dick in a locker room. No way. Yeah, that was the big rumor among all the boys. The Virgil's dick was so big he gets suck his own dick. Oh, Virgil started that rumor. Yeah. I thought he carried it in in the handbag.

Opened it, sucked it there. Now Virgil was the million dollar man's valet. Yes, yes, slave. Ted D. B. Ossy. Yeah. Do you say slave? Yeah. Wow. He's Tampa, man. It's different rules. Yeah, do you say slave? Yeah. Wow.

It's Tampa man. It's different rules. I don't think if you have a big dick, if you suck it, it's that big of a deal. If I suck my dick, that's a big deal. So you're saying it's like one of seven footer dunks. You're like, who cares? Yes.

That's all. You get a five foot eight guy dunk. That's amazing. And in my case, a five and a half incher, if I could get down on that, do you think we'd have to pop both of your hips out of socket for you to suck your under it? You'd have to cut him in half and just lay his head on it.

I actually, I almost like an airport sailor, like an airport wrap or a cuddle. I almost snap my neck trying to suck my own dick. When did you go that hard at it? I found a thing on own a one day somebody had sent something to me on Twitter It was four easy ways to suck your own dick and it was stick figures There are pictures of car accidents And it was it looked very easy lie down flat flip your legs over your head

Grab your penis and then grab your penis, and then bring your neck up, and then start sucking away. So I went in the shower, and I flipped my legs over my head. But there should have been a weight limit and a penis size. Do you know what I mean? They didn't. So you had like a load bearing thing? Yeah, there should have been like anybody over 250, Don't do this because you could snap your neck.

And I called the Rolly Pulley effect. You dick will end up in the back of your brain. Well, it was just me staring at my pud. And my dick looking at me like, what are you doing? And then I heard my neck crack. It was actually a good thing. Like I needed a crack. Sure. But I thought, yeah, I thought I was going to fucking, I was like a good thing, like I needed a crack. Sure. But I thought, yeah, I thought it was gonna fucking, I was like, oh my god, I'm stuck.

Like all my weight was on my body, and it was, I couldn't even get to my body. Fuck that would've been great if you could. And I couldn't get hard either, because I was panicking that my neck was gonna stab. Don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, come back next to me. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. You know the director Paul Fig broke his neck doing that exact thing. He actually broke his neck. Okay, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I think he came his next snap to, and that was the end of it. That's the same thing happened to Christopher Reeve? Yes. That's not what happened to him.

That's why you fell off a horse. I know. Horse kind of on play. So you sometimes even don't know when you're serious. You have to bring it back. Yeah, I do. I do it sometimes. Yeah.

Yeah, I've done it, everybody. He really did fall off a horse. All right. Stop fucking around Chris we fell off a goddamn horse you have two glasses on your head You know what you have no hair on your head. Let's all fucking just Let's all be fucking friends here. Oh, man. I love you. I love when you push wrong until you get through Philadelphia You got two glasses. Yeah, well, you're fucking idiot. Oh, we just now I'm a fucking gun in my pocket

We just lost the noran's man. We know and John where you going? John Max. Yeah, where're fucking idiots. Oh, we just Yeah, stop a fucking gun in my pocket We just lost the noran's man at your own John. Where you going? John Max. Where you going? We're going Print what? It's gonna print something. Yeah, what are you gonna print? What is it fucking 96? Yes, yeah, that's the worst coke excuse I've ever heard. He's he's printing out not appearing tonight What are you printing? Who prints anything? What are you gonna print?

I need you to print that. Yeah, print that up. Hurry up, go print it. Go ahead. No, go print it. I have to get him to go back and sit back down. Why'd you sit? Shame him into doing that.

Don't get back up, idiot. Oh, no! Fucking truth aside! He really does. You're like, this was printin' stuff out. What's he like with deals? Oh my God, he walks right in there like, we're not sure. He's like, okay, we'll leave.

John, I think go get a haircut, too. So. He's with a network, he just says, I had this printed out today. He's been on the table. Be great to have a super week manager. I'm like, we don't think so. Oh, you don't have to validate either. you're gonna lie on the old paper on parking

I'm very sad the chip didn't show up fuck him. I forgot you don't like chip. No, he's a dick You know you really don't like I don't like chip either You know my kid loves and what you're the podcast? What I'll do chip podcasts, but all fucking shit in his face What? I'll do chip podcasts, but I'll fucking shoot in his face. Yeah, hell of a joke. You're worse. All right. Kill what you're wearing.

Hell of a joke. I mean, me and Ari, you know, Dan Soto was giving a shit for going away camping, Ari. Why would Dan Soto give me a shit? Because he said he was on you show and you were trashin' us for going camping for two days. I didn't trash you. I made the front of you and Jay going camping. Why not Ari?

Because Ari, I know Ari. Ari loves that shit. Ari moved to Asia and went native But he went to fucking Asia. He went to Thailand disappeared for four months legitimately off the grid But people call that so he's a good sign when a white man does that Nothing disgusting happening It's all good Christian fun, Jay. was looking for Natalie Hollywood. Why don't I fucking I'm an outdoorsman. You are not an outdoor. I've been going to I go to I'm tomorrow. What? No one believes it. You you saw me I'm an outdoorsman. I know I'm not a light of fire. Did I light the fire? You like the shot up. Did I like the fire? Yeah.

You did. You did. You cooked in the stove. Yeah. Did I hike with fire? You like the shot up. Did I like the fire? Yeah, you did the cook. You cooked in the stove? Yeah, did I hike with you? You did hike up. Great, you did a pushwack in a wall. You did a pushwack in the wall? You went off road a little bit. Right? Yeah, you were great.

I'm fucking an outdoorsman. Are you not? But you're not an outdoorsman, I know. I'm not. So I recognize other, not-outdoor's been. Question. Sir, question for you. Come here, come here.

Come here, sir. We need you. We need you. We need you. Please. Please, right here. Just grab that microphone. Two minutes before.

Sir, I'm just going to guess the Eurasian. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I don't want to offend anybody. Uh-huh. Please right here just turn that microphone to me sir. Oh, you got the answer I'm just gonna guess the Eurasian. Yeah, yeah, okay. I don't want to offend anybody Chinese yeah, yeah, you got it. Okay Chinese. What's your name? Jack? Of course my what's your last name? What? I don't for it on the back end. Yeah, I know it's hard to pronounce you. No, say it again

I'm sorry what I You made up for it on the back end. I know it's hard to pronounce it. No, say it again. I'm sorry, what? You? I can't not laugh. I gotta hear this, what? You? It sounds like he's trying to induce a stroke in Bobby. You?

You? Yeah, yeah, it's so jack you. Yeah, yeah, it is. Holy shit. Yeah, but actually my Chinese name is C3edru you but it's hard C3PO Yeah, so it's a skirt so I I Name myself Jack. Yeah, yeah, you named Jack. Yeah, yeah, so your name's not Jack. Yeah, my Chinese name is not Jack No, okay, so you remember these name is your name. Yeah

I don't say oh my American name is Ron. No, that's your fucking name, dude. You're you all right You're the fucking you come wild. You're the fucking future dude. Okay, you're a millennial Where are you going? Tell Jimmy go fuck himself My managers just left Tell Jim you can go fuck himself. My manager's just left. With your managers, what a piece of shit they are. Your manager's just left all this stuff.

Name joke. Hey, you? Yeah. Is that right? Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, is that bad? You ever had dim sum?

I've never eaten dim sum. Yeah. Well, not always sometimes. What time of day do you eat it? In the morning? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh no! There it is! Oh!

Oh! That's true, huh? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! You can all go fuck yourselves. And I'm an outdoorsman, don't. You might win the dim sum, but not the outdoorsman. Buddy, I fly fish, I had a hunt, I had a life fires, I can't. By the way, you just thought that you said you fry fish when you said that When you said you fly fish you fucking completely confused him

This guy and you should be your new co-host His name is in jack What's the real first name? You're being rewound. He gets to go, Seedroo. That sounds like tough stuff. If he wrote it down, it would look like a house with a tree. Seedroo.

He's not an outdoorsman. He literally makes me wonder why that the Chinese only killed their girls. I don't think... What the fuck? You don't know that? In the morning, they have some dim sum, and they get rid of the baby girls.

Why would they get rid of the baby girls? I'm gonna let you fucking handle this cold guy. Now they're trying to keep their country under five billion. Really? Yeah. And why would they keep a boy though? Yeah, do you keep a boy because as you know, a boy goes on to earn more and take care of the parents?

So you only get one kid. Right. And my right about that you, you get two? No, it's two. Oh, I was the widest lady in the world. Yeah, just confidently going, tome. She has cable. But it was, it was.

Now your boyfriend with you right there? Yeah. Say whatever you want, honey. Whatever you say. But it was, man. It was say but it was one yeah it was one on one part they were killing girls thank you okay people should go yeah thank you what you say what you say all right what the fuck you say bro I gotta work I gotta work on my tone I'm sorry yeah excuse me, sir. What'd you say?

Yeah, that is pretty weird to clap at killing the girls exactly should be jerking off to it What why would you see the DPO? What see three? What would you see in the DPO? What? See three? No. No, you're not killing girls anymore. Good job. Right.

No, you guys, that's great. It's 50 or 60 years ago. Right. The same time we were brought crosses down south. We still taking shit over, right? You know, get in line this, and 50 fucking 60 years, you. People just from alive, and people were doing that, but that's cool. I like that he's acting like 50 years ago. It was a long time So we're doing it 10 years ago. We were killing them right there. That was the 70s, right?

So I should pepper came out that you know what the fuck we were doing. Hey, do you have a sister? See you do you? No, oh Yeah, a couple right Sorry Oh, yeah, you had a couple, right? Sorry What's this? What? You had one child. Did your mom have like three or four stillborns? What do you think they're gonna keep them and like eat them for like health like vitamins? That's dark. Yeah

I was a little dark. Shusha, Jack. Shungin, Shung. Oh yeah, you went there. So you must know his culture. I just want to say thank you. That's all you learned for three months. How do you say it?

Shusha. That's all you learned. Right, that close, Shusha. Yeah, that's pretty good. Shusha. It's pretty good. Well, I'll stop with you. You went to Southeast Asia for three months by tourist in the world Chinese tourists.

Why? They're garbage. They're busy. They all want to take their picture and move on. That's all they want. They don't care about you at all. Jack, am I wrong? But once it's over, Jack, show your people for me.

Please, I need you to. That sounds like dim sum. Wow. So it's very aggressive. When you just want to talk about dim sum, don't you? No. When you go to dim sum, you have to be very aggressive to get the dumplings you want. Am I right?

3C3PO? Well, you should. Is it in a restaurant? Is it in a restaurant? But am I right? It's aggressive. You got a gargling. Bob. Is that bad? Was that the head?

No, it's bad. Not at all, the 1975. What? That's not bad. How do you know I didn't say anything? I could have said something. No. But at least the graces we were doing superheroes, you is our K-doh ladies and gentlemen. Let me hear it. That's K-Doh right there

What I always felt was the coolest of all superheroes. I can't believe my managers left. Yeah, I can Minds with them. Where are they? They're probably just fucking this by a suicide pack We're all hanging from belts. Yeah, exactly. Wow. You better than a real loser, yes, so did you. They're both flying coach. Mine had a drive. I'm kidding, they flew. I don't know, you really felt bad for them. Well, I'm fucking, this is my eighth year up here. And it's weird how many shows you do up here.

Like when you first try to get up here, you do the one show, a nasty show on New Face as if you're Dan. Hey. That's not a bad thing. But in New Face, it did New Face is unrepped. The kind that already takes out the lunch. It's the same thing.

Did you really take 10 on Rep.Talunch? Yes, he did. That's a showbiz story He takes people out to lunch Well, kid welcome to the big time. Yeah, he wouldn't even accept a tip from those kids back then I was in my whole tumble me to napple. That's all I had that I got a phone call and Mr. Shafir took me off with some poutine I didn't some poutine I didn't know poutine was You say you play your cards right you can disappear in Asia for four months Or you can go kid with you fat guys for two days

Did they with a flipped out that you did that yeah, they were excited. They got to eat that day So that was nice. Where did you take them some French restaurant a French restaurant? How much was it total? $437 some of that range $4 a person Of being a hero everybody It's crazy. No, doesn't make you feel good that you did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean, I think it's amazing. I love that you did that. It's inspiring They got people on fucking flights out here. They're the best they can get at it,

so I'm going to represent the best. Real ones took a bus. Right how bus like me in 2011. Who? Who? It was like a 40-hour bus ride. It's like eight and a half. It's pretty rough.

Is it rough? That's when you make friends on the bus. I was with Chris Laker. Do you know who he is? No. Apparently, he didn't get wrapped. So, did you get wrapped out of it? Did you get it? Oh, yeah everything I did I hosted the show

He was on well, and he went up murdered there people were just dying He goes up murders after I've never seen anything like it after the show outside There's Dan Soda literally soda Soda. You don't understand it. Soda. Soda. Soda.

There you go. Soda? Yeah. Thanks. Go fuck yourself. So there's Dan Soder. Sounds so stupid. All right.

You just saying the other way, because it reminds you of what you're not supposed to drink anymore Denny's name would be Dan come Face I walk out dance soda isoder is surrounded by industry. By Jew. I was like, it was like pigeons with bread. He really was. I literally went, Dan, and he went, okay, and he just had them all with cards.

And he's just taking cards like the end of trading places with Dan Ackaroid at the stock exchange. It was nuts. And then from there on you've been a fucking superstar. No, no, but kind of... You're on billions? Yeah. You got your own show on Comedy on something? It's the concert you're writing with Big J. Right, that's a hit.

Two years, just went four days. Yeah, I put it all on this podcast. That's what lifted me up. Yeah, I didn it all on this podcast. That's what lifted me up. Yeah, I didn't get shit. I'm still here doing this. This is actually a lot of fun. Sure is, unless you're one of our managers. Oh, they fucking blow.

Yeah, how rude is that? Who the fuck leaves? That's the story of my life, though. If I did a show with, I remember doing a show that Robert De Niro was there. They're like Robert De Niro's downstairs at the Communist House and he's watching comics. I'm like, oh my god, this is gonna be great. I go on as soon as I get up Robert gets the fuck up and walks the, in the middle of my first joke, joke, walks out. Didn't even give me a shot and just leaves. Oh, I remember that night. He planted me somewhere. Right? Or he saw it.

I've seen enough. You know what? You know what they've always said about him too, right? What? Perceptive. Because look at any situation and know what immediate. This is not for the American public. This is not good fellows, you know.

And they was gone So the people I You could have shot my standup. He would have liked it. Yeah I remember the guys from Conan did it. Mm-hmm. They get up. They did it in audition as soon as it was my shot They get up and walked out of the fucking room every time people walk out So now, well, you're not gonna like what I'm about to say Okay, I have to go? I should just go to walk out. I have to eat dinner and take a nap for my show. I have a show tonight. I'm exhausted. You don't have to eat. I do. Why? Some hungry. So you can't wait a couple minutes. Can you imagine a world in which Robert Kelly was telling you that you don't have to eat?

I really am just like, flopbing shit up for these assholes. It's really a hit on the guard. Like, what a bird says don't chirp. You know, you know about birds. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. All right. Bobby, your triggers happening.

Oh, she's relieving. All right, later. I'm more managers. Ladies, I'll see you outside. Where the fuck are you going? Where are you going? Tell them where you're going. To laugh.

Where are you going? They got to go feed you and tuck them in. Where? The rioties, what? Top 10. Top 10 comics that aren't in this room. It doesn't get good. All the top 10 comics?

Are they really top 10 comics that you can stay here and watch the bottom six? Yeah. Hi, buddy. I'll see you later. Give it up for Jim and I. No, thank you, guys. Let's give him one more. Hi, buddy.

I love you. Can I plug something for Jim film? Don't forget you followed him. Can I plug something for Jim? Jim's going to be appearing tomorrow night at comedy 101 at the mainline theater with Jimmy Schubert and Dan Soder, and it's going to be what, like, what would happen if Open Mike Comics walked into this fucking...

I've done Comedy 101, and I have to be honest with you, Ronnie. It's the meanest thing I've ever done. And I'm talking, meaner than any O&A show I've ever been on. Meanor than any roast battle thing. We did comedy 101 and I felt fucked up after. But here's the, you explain what it is. Well, it is basically open mics and three mentors sit there and give them advice

and it's the same kind of advice that was going back here. But Bobby said to me, twice, this is the meanest show, but each time he probably taught 70% at the time. He's fucking so fast and brutal. And when it was you, and Boston Barney, even I cried. Well, here's the, you get a bell,

and the comic comes up, and I said, the comics know we're doing this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the, you get a bell and the comic comes up and I said the comics know we're doing this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the comics know. They lied. The comics thought they were just going up and doing a set and we were just the comic idols were there to just support them. They gave us bells, they go ring the bell when you have something to say about their act and then someone said ring it a lot You know tell three assholes So they this these poor kids were coming up and they were nervous as fuck

We're sitting there with bells Ronnie brings them up and then they'd start out and you know and we just And they'd be like huh and Then they have to go back into their act. And then ding, I remember this is one of the worst things I've ever been part of. There was a guy with a brain injury, right? It didn't start to set that way. He ended up with a brain injury.

There was a brain injury. And the guy at the end of the show was making a speech about brain injuries And he's told he was I'm not I'm not mocking him. I'm gonna just talk like him so you know how he was like it very hard We brain injuries to You know we have to make sure and Bonnie went ding You know, we have to make sure, and Bonnie went, ding. I can still feel it in my heart. It's the funniest thing ever done, and the meanest thing ever done at once.

And I laughed, but I immediately knew I was going to hell someday. But in your case, Bobby, not only did you ring the bell, but you threw it at the bell at one fucking... Well, this guy sucked. That's what I was talking about. Bobby's nice that you pushed me to a point because, well, they're all garbage. Of course, I jumped in.

Oh, this guy's stunk, and he was cocky, and I threw my bell right at his fucking head. But, wow, that guy's big. Hi. How you doing? football player? he's keeping a pet mouse so don't step on it I don't know what fucking loses the loose and shit He's a great reference. That's a great mile reference. Oh, we got it. I'm just making sure he's laughing. He's not. I'm just hoping C3PO knows a little kung fu.

All right, well, this has been a great show. It's been, I thank you guys for coming out. You guys who know, though, you know what, dude. Podcast, I love you to death. But thank you guys for coming on, you guys who know, though, you know what, dude. Podcast, I love you to death. But thank you guys for coming on. I really appreciate it. It's, this is my second time doing this up here.

Every time you do these things, I don't know how you feel, but I always feel like no one's going to show up. No comment's going to want to do it. It's just going to be me and some fucking room with two fans. But it was good. It's all we, the people that I was showing up. It actually sounds like a fun time. Just do a meet and greet with two people. Yeah. two fans, but it was good. They're people in the show. It actually sounds like a fun time. Just do a mean greet with two people.

Yeah. It make me sick. Why? You're just so positive. The glass is half full. Oh, that sounds negative, Dan. Yeah, go, do it. Yeah, dude, next time you should just kill yourself.

Whoa, I like that. Yeah, that's too much. Let's do this one. I like that. Yeah, let me pull it a little back. Okay, okay. You should fucking hurt yourself. That's better.

That's what we're working on from there. I like it more than fucking. Hey, sounds like a good time. Just you and another person. Share your thoughts. Maybe I just see the positivity, bro. I don't. You're not. You're a I don't. You're not.

You're a negative person, too. You're an angry guy. Yeah? Yeah. I'm 0 to 60, baby. Yeah. It blows up when I don't want it, too. There's a lot of wall puncher going on in my apartment. Really, do you punch the wall?

Is that your thing? Oh, yeah. I stopped doing that a long time ago. Cool. I get it. You just hipstered me with wall puncher I need to do that back in the 90s. Dry wall wasn't a funeral. I do it now and I had studs. I hurt my hand. All right, Rodney, you got your 101 tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night? Mainline Theater. All you guys are invited. It's going to be a lot of fun. It's the funniest. You're going listen. It's mean, but it's fucking hilarious. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever been a part of. You got local comics here? Yeah, some local Montreal comics. The guys, you took out for dinner the other day or for Dim's son or whatever you did. We're fucking bringing them up, putting the bootstom. But, what's the most brutal rule? Did you bring the bells?

Yeah, we brought the fucking bells. Yeah. I love to see that custom. Like, what's this for? Yeah. Rooting, rooting dreams. Yeah. Yeah.

Making people feel shitter than they are. A dream killer is what it is. This brings people back to Earth. Yeah. All right, what shows? You got your nasty show tonight. The most ridiculous thing about this is that the most ridiculous thing about this is that you're hosting the world. I mean, literally brought me out the first night, 1500 people. This guy is good in New York, people like him in New York.

I said one of the best comments in New York. And he does a podcast. I literally walked out to people going, what? That is the new clubs and colleges. I said the name of your podcast though. Yeah, I know, but it wouldn't have been funny if I said what you did all these sudden. You know, you know what I have a TV show? I'm like, no, I didn't know that. Yeah, well neither did the fucking people watching it because they're not cancels.

That's why my manager's out. If I was still on TV, he'd be sitting over there chuckling at all my horseshit. They're at variety right now just questioning over all those people. Oh, he's got Jared Fried, the new guy, his new, he killed it on new phases. He's fucking gone. He's with a young hot new comic he's got fat old bob. He goes, Bobby, I heard the funniest thing at the variety party. Mm-hmm, that's just what he's gonna say.

What buddy, I was letting you go. You just keep going. I was gonna say that. Okay. All right, wow. That's the most he had in his head. Hey, you can always fizzle out. Wow, you did.

All right. I'm sorry. Fuck them some. Hey, he's sitting right. I'm sorry fuck them some Hey sitting right there C3PO okay, sorry bro. I was the every This is last name last name You sorry I'm gonna get that's actually not where you're going. I am gonna watch it this weekend.

I watched the first half last night. You didn't watch it. I absolutely didn't watch it. I was just going to watch it this weekend. I was just going to watch it this weekend. I was just going to watch it this weekend. I was just going to watch it this weekend're going. I am gonna watch it this weekend. Okay. I watched the first half last night. You didn't watch it. I absolutely did not.

You did not. Me and Paul Verzi, we put this game called How Long Can You Last? We're going to my shed lightest cigar and we watch people's next flick specials. And we, how long can you last before you have to shut it to fuck off? Most of them are like, I'm done, like a minute and a half in. I'm done, but yours, I bet we get through the first one. Maybe. Yeah, which one's better, the first or the second hour?

They're all perfect, so... Someone got a pep talk. His new special, unbelievable, one of the funniest guys ever. Funny all over the world, not just in New York and LA Irish affair. Thanks for coming on buddy dance soda What do you got buddy? I'm hosting two shows tonight host with the most I'm on it with Irish fear on the seven o'clock one and then Comedy 101 tomorrow night you're doing it yeah and are you going to be able to be mean well he was there from the beginning

he's uh... he's fucking vicious yeah so does vicious in the show i love to see nice dan just giving a misogies and stuff like you know what you know what you're gonna get them next time and fuck bells who I think myself as a circus bear? Robert, pretty nice. You poke me a couple times, I'll tear your goddamn head off. Yeah.

But I could ride a bicycle, like a motherfucker. Dan Soda is my favorite. I fucking love you. I love you too much. And I'm going camping tomorrow, Dan. Cool. Going in the woods, I rent the house in the woods. Yeah, you too much. And I'm going camping tomorrow then. Cool. Going in the woods.

I rent a house in the woods. Yeah, you rent it a house. You're not sleeping in a tent. You're not an outdoorser. Oh, fuck, it's still there's woods and bears. You understand that this Mary-Ock is 15 miles away from anything else. It's not a Mary-Ock.

It's a fucking courtyard, dead. Funny. It's not a courtyard. It's a fucking theory, lad. It's a fight for me. Buddy, it's a house in the woods with a fire pit and cables and TV. Yeah, life, I, there we go. But I'm going fishing. You know, I fly fish.

I'm in all that. That's right. You're going to the market to get a fish. Now, I'm a fly fisherman. I'm an angler. I fly fish all the time. I got all my stuff for me. I might not fit into my waders this year.

I might, I hate fat on fat crime, I know that. I hate bugs, mate. I hate fat on pranks. I'm an outdoorsman. I didn't have to make a bone arrow. No, you do not. I'm an outdoorsman. I didn't have to make a bone arrow. No, you do not. I'm a bone arrow. No, you do not.

If I make you a bone arrow, I get to shoot you with it. Sure. Deal. I really had to pick that out. I don't see any situation. I just did all the odds. You can't. There would be nothing funnier than watching you get frustrated

with an air bow and arrow that doesn't work. Fuck it dude, fuck, fuck, dude. Fuck it, go, dude, it hit, fuck, it's bone, it doesn't work. This dick is all fucked up. Dude, make a bow and arrow or rambo. Let's hide it and let it go. Listen, if you're gonna drive the cat gut, how long do you have to do?

Make this bow and arrow. I'm not gonna use... I'm not gonna use it. I'm not making a bow and arrow from the fucking 1800s you have saw it. What do you say? I'm making a bow and arrow. You're crying at a state. You're crying at a state.

I'm crying at a state. You don't think the Indians had twine before they had fucking cat gut? I am so confident that you will not be able to make a bow and arrow now. You don't think the Indians had twine before they had fucking cat cut? I am so confident that you will not be able to earn a bow and arrow now. Dude, I've made many a bow and arrow. You've won rap some time ago. Now you go though, in the hallway, five minutes and a half. Not that, Russell Peters, the bow and arrow. The bow and arrow.

Yeah, the bow and arrow kind. I need the bow. Go get me an issue. Go get me an issue. Who we? Dude, I'm a fucking outdoorsman, whether you like it or not. You understand if the apocalypse happened right now. You're blood fuck.

You're the dead. You're nothing to offer except chuckles. You're exactly. I buy a pack of camel lights Watch the world burn baby. I and I go into woods with Ari and fucking survives Mike would do he's got a bunch of guns. You don't think this is this is going fucking airplane survival mode You're getting eight first bud buddy. You're first one. No. I'm not when it goes the cannibalism. You're out So I'm not you're dead you're dead. I'm gonna First of all no one's the first one no one needs him. No, he what can he do?

Nothing he'll get by he's he's not gonna get by he's gonna make one shoot comment and someone's just gonna Enchooed him and then when the Wi-Fi's down you're fucked. Why? Because I know you I don't know why you'll be fucking fronting you're gonna make a Swiss fire I don't even lie, fire. You'll be fucking frowning. You're not gonna make a Swiss fire? That sounds like someone made that up to tell you that. I think that's what they call it. What is a Swiss fire?

You know when you want to- They're not a chocolate. No. Dude, could you just imagine a fire made out of chocolate? Where you want to- You know when you want to cook on a- there's no stove, right? You're in the woods. You get a log, you split it in four,

you put wood in the middle of it, like that, the inside. Now, you tie the log, so the inside of the fire burns up. So the inside of the log burns out. So therefore, a flame shoots up the top, and you have like a stove to cook eggs or to cook whatever you do. Oh, rabbit if you hunt the rabbit. I'm gonna Swiss fire. Oh yeah.

Could you beg Dim Sum on this, the Chinese breakfast treat? Mike and Mike. Could you stick up for me at all? No, I still don't believe Dim Sum's requested. We had one of them come in. No. So they come in for them? What? That's not in Canada.

It's all over the world. I feel it, but is it possible that they extended it to all times? Oh, Joe, it's one of the points. A day. After they stopped murdering you. I'll let them fool you out of this see three pio Afternoon tea But mainly breakfast

Thank you, so I win. Oh you win. Yeah, I win. Oh, I know you win. All right, Mike Calta Tampa morning show you show is fucking I mean since I know you you're on the afternoons Now you're the number one show in Tampa. Yeah, you're one of my great friends and you have the best show in the world and You know you're the best and you're here. You just came down to hang out pretty much I'm gonna appreciate you letting me hang with you guys he fucking because he loves comedy so much and he loves us comic so much that he has on his show he actually brought a ticket to do what what really you guys got that from damn it's true I'm sick of the same having the

same six comedians on every airside like look at some new faces where the six comedians not you guys love all you guys all right good and I'm going on your boat cruise are you gonna go you see you say that you say that every year but then you don't go I don't know if you know this but Bobby's a seaman he's a as a matter of fact I am in I just went to Belgium and lived on a boat for seven days. Fuck it, hey. Dude, I'm land, I'm see, I'm air. I'm air. I never said air. I never said air.

You fucks that guy. It's paste. I never said space. I never said space. I never said air. What happens to world ends? I go to a different planet. I am certified.

I drove a fucking seven-ton yacht for seven days on the canals by myself By myself completely no crew There's no well you know he made a fucking anchor Swiss anchor Do you even know You take two anchors you put another fucking anchor inside that anchor Grabbing anchor around and the fucking drops right to the bottom of the sea, dude. Right to the fucking bottom of the sea. Fucking Swiss anchor.

But you don't fucking know about that, Dan. You don't know about fucking Swiss anchor. The problem. This is why I don't like any of my friends. Oh. We got, Ronnie, you got got you got your show coming on what's when did you show again one more time? One more time, man. First of all you show on serious. Yes on Roddog. Please. I mean Ronnie I'm gonna I'm gonna suck you dick for a second. Go ahead. You want to you want to literally one

No, one of the funniest guys ever, ever. Everybody fucking loves you. Stop. And you're one of the funniest. Yeah, get one. I'm like, no. No, seriously. I'm telling you.

This come out tomorrow night. Don't fight. I tried to become a support. I've tried to become closer friends with you, but you won't have it. I don't like, I like you in this environment we're performing. I don't want to I like you in this environment we're performing. I don't wanna be away from microphones.

And like, you know what I mean? No, I don't. I wanna love you this way. Bob, when you're in a show. You're too busy out in the forests and out on the sea. It's hard to have a real connection with you. I've tried, like, I've like, hey, is it wanna go smoke a cigar?

You're like, no, no. You do that, I do. Yeah, yeah, like, no, I'm good. And then cigar? You're like, no, no. You do that, I do. Yeah, you're like, no, I'm good. And then when I, I don't even, you know, I don't even have your number. Yeah. You. You.

You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.

You. You. You. You. You. You. You. p. U. Are you doing anything tonight? Want to get some dim sum Jim Carrey good choice not even fucking who will go out with me good choice Well Ron you get a show on the ride dog, which is what we love it

I love it and then and then you got your show tomorrow night at the theater. What's the theater again? It's the main line theater is at the name of it. And it's 1130. You guys got to come out. It's going to be hilarious. Wait a second. Wait a second.

Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second.

Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. He's done it more times than anybody else, but the first time my old buddy Jimmy Schubert is gonna be here Jimmy Schubert, and I saw him last night, he's like So I'm like yeah, that's gonna go great Jimmy. Thanks. I want to thank you guys for coming on Thanks for doing this taking an hour to your day. I want to thank all you guys for showing up. I love you to death You know what podcast we will see you next time. Take care. Thank you. I love you to the podcast.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.

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