Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Live From the New York Comedy Festival

Episode Date: November 13, 2017

YKWD comes at you “Live From The New York Comedy Festival” with Rich Vos, Keith Robinson and Von Decarlo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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explore the full programming schedule and register for additional free events. Now, please play your hands together for Robert Kelly and enjoy, you know what, dude're right here. You're right here. You got it? Who's the skirt? Am I allowed to say that nowadays? No, hashtag me too. Hi, we're, this is the most uncomfortable podcast we've ever done.

We don't really need microphones. We could have just done this in the lobby with the Zoom H6. We could have skyped this. I left my house and took a shower. I just did my joke with the word Skype. Yeah, you're right. And the porn ring. And the porn ring.

And I parked, like, I don't know this area, the lower east side. I don't know what that well. So I hit. Obviously you are. And I just, on the nap, you know how you do the parking. So I parked and I'm like, I had to walk 15 minutes in the rain and rats and it's horrible. What are we, your grandchildren? Nobody gives a shit.

I had to walk. Let me tell you a long boring story of a rain. Shut up. What I'm saying is first of all, let me introduce the show. Okay. And I just want to say this, either grow the go to your don't. Don't have to grow it. Okay. I'm a shit going on right now. It's bugging me. Okay. It's here. Followed in here. Well, I missed a little spot tonight. Oh, get it. That's my eight off. Yeah, you've he's Jewish. You gotta call you that. All right, listen, of course, we got rich boss Bobby took the labels off this, you know, because it's video. No one has.

I'm gonna watch this. Nobody's watching. Nobody's here. This thing. Well, listen, here's the deal. Hurry up and get me out of here. We got kick. You rich boss from what you do. Last comic standing, we've done police 15 years ago. What else have you done? I even told you I know you're proud. You even know that, man. What was that?

Really? Do you want to be like every other listener? What have you been? Recently I was on the Dev Jam 25th anniversary on Netflix. I'll tell you what you were. A white prop. I was in a sketch. I was in a sketch that paid good money and a flumey first class.

So I said yes both ways. And was it mint? Oh, is it real first class? Oh, it was nice. You know, first class. I got ice cream. We're going to pay first class but he's, I got ice cream. So, we're gonna get a pay next year. We got first class, but he's still at a pay for his luggage.

Yeah. Spirit, you broken everybody's. So, I, what did you just say? I'll be broken everybody's spirit. Oh, God. What are you gonna attack me? Cause you're low-submarine. Is that a Viking joke?

What is it? What? You've broken everybody's spirit. What the fuck kind of joke is that? It's an old Viking from when we were on the boat. What have you done besides a 20, you can't count an anniversary gig as a TV press. He wasn't token white.

Hold on. Is him under the white guy. What did I do? What else? Or did it token white? Well, some I wrote on an Adam Sandler movie. You wrote, you wrote? I wrote on an Adam Sandler movie.

What do you mean some on? Did you say semi? No, I wrote on an Adam Sandler movie. You did? Yes. Yes, okay Is that not a good thing in a career? I mean I guess we If you got to ask no Hey was that a good thing

Financially it was all right fine financially, okay, but I wasn't like we can't see you in the road I wrote I wrote I have to wait to the end of the movie to look for a name Okay, I know him I wrote on the Oscars. I don't twice fuck the writing What have you done in this business with your face with my face? This is the biggest thing you've done. Are you crazy? My ass night art show me and and Bonnie's sold out 100 and 50. Yeah, it was at the village underground. It sells out anyways.

No, I'm not the... Listen, stop talking about Ireland. Listen, I'm not your wife. Shut up. I'll take that hat off. Listen. This is the public hotel in the East Lodge. They have more security than they did when Obama didn't marron.

Okay? There's 900 people here. I don't under, we shouldn't have been here. We should have been at like some shitty club in the basement. You will be this weekend. I'm not a shitty club. The comedy connection around is not a shitty club. Friday, one show, Saturday, two shows.

Have you liked to come out? I I'm there a fucking week after you Why don't these clubs put you then me or me and you or Nick they put just Weekmunts. Yeah It's when they save money. No, it's just the same type of audience I know did you say no after I Chuckling You just a writer now. Yes, that's what I do. I'm going to go to LA. Keith Robinson, special Netflix.

Three years ago. No, Netflix special. Three years ago. I'm an central special. What else? Wait, whoa, special. Oh, I think that's the other thing you did. I was in crash, and what did you do?

I was in a crash shop while real, what did you do in Netflix special special? Yeah, what he did Kevin Hart produces last special that was coming central but it went on Netflix. Oh wait a second. I had a movie for two years on Netflix too late. I didn't have a movie for two years on Netflix. Hang on. What movie was that? A woman aren't funny? That wasn't a movie. First of all, I find that offensive that you say that well, I times it were right First of all, I find that offensive that you say that. Well, at the times that we're right now.

Well, I can prove it. We had two years on that limit. It's my turn. But I forget things because I just move on. I don't... If you have one foot on that, let me figure this out. Love of God. If you have one foot on yesterday.

One foot in yesterday. One in tomorrow you have one film yesterday, one film for the yesterday, one in tomorrow, you're pissing on today. So move on, who cares about the past? I wish you, I really, I hope you have a heart attack. Listen, if anybody to say that. Listen, what else have you done? Well, star search? Now, star search.

I'm sorry. It's the best thing this ball's about. This shitty credit. I'm telling you. You didn't even win. You're almost one You got what's your guy who did a car show? You're bringing up one of my thousands of credits. Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah, I've been on Yes, I had no place. I've done more than you

No, you have not comedy you have it in acting and Bobby's good Oh Bobby's good I know acting like this is crowded Bobby has a good acting Why you got me old man. You're really whipped up Bring it down while you don't think you brought push our buttons in the beginning You know what it is? You know what it is tear them down to build me up. That's what he's doing because his self-esteem right now It's fucking deflated. Can I just say something for us?

And I mean this. I'm getting sick of you midlife crisis. I'm pissed at! I'm getting sick of you! I'm getting sick of you sayings and your motivational pep talks shut the fuck up. You know what? He's living in fear which means here he goes again. Which means fear falls evidence appearing real.

I'm gonna fuck I like your way of stress, false. What's that? I like the way you're doing. I like the way you're doing it. Thank you. It's like a Mexican gang leader. That's hacking, hack out. You're like a Mexican city.

I was in Mexico last week. No, no, no, no, no, no, What do you say? I was there last week. Why don't we bring Vaughn up? What? Vaughn, grab a chair. Come up on this mic. Scooch over here a little bit. Vaughn, why are you bringing a bag? Nobody's there. Yeah, there's nobody here. There's two more people walking in. Just put you again. Get over. What are you doing? Don't take a front seat.

What, there's two girls just came in. Now they're sitting in the back. You said grab a chair. I'm going to get purse on something else. This is about every seat is a front seat. I don't want it. I asked where I should sit when I came in. Well, here, I didn't know.

I want you on the podcast, because. Thank you. What? For what? Well, because it's good to have a woman comedian on and everybody you guys know, Prachiso Niels Wifey. This is her very funny, beautiful, Vaughn. I, uh, thank you, Vaughn. Wait a minute, you're not, I'm not finished my introduction.

Wait a minute, she got a nice applause. That's because the audience is mostly women. Even the girl on her iPhone looked up. Oh, there's a woman. Is it these fat old assholes? Thanks, honey. Thanks. Who are you?

Leave. Just go and make your phone calls. Why are you sitting there? This is like a ship gig on the road for us. This is every gig on the road on Saturday night's second show. You and the crowd like this. Yeah, the phone. She's waiting that she's happy I'm here.

She's not waiting. She's the head of TBS going. These guys are assholes. Never again. I'm glad I didn't take a photo of these fucking fools. Do you see the photos around here? Amazing photos. It looks great.

Marina, Ryan Reese, Ryan Reese. Who? Ryan Reese. You got a fucking photo on the size of it. Where? On the hallway. Oh, I didn't notice. We were in the camera.

Not one photo, I'm pretty quickly. What's that? There's no photos of us. Well, maybe they just have time to do a mural. Well, the set looks really nice. I know they're going to take it down as soon as you're done, but it's really nice. Here's the thing.

I feel bad for the people that set this set up because they were probably very excited and they did such an amazing job And then when we came in and they're like this is it. It's like for nothing You know like doing a Super Bowl and nobody shows up Because can you like here's the thing and I thank you for having me I really do a patient. I like being a part of riot cast But don't say when we came in. Don't put this on Keith and I. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. I absolutely put it on you. I don't use your names to promote. If I use Billy Burr and fucking, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm Rogen. Can't be a line out the fucking door.

I'm bringing you relics, fucking star surgeon, fucking last comic standing. Nobody shows up. I got one fucking crazy guy with a beat. What am I? I don't know what he is. Two twinks in here. Somebody told him to go up here as a watch. Let's figure this out right.

We're my starcer's fans. Here you are, my dear. Oh wow. I didn't even know what starcer is. You didn't know what starcer is. God. God damn it. So anyways, where are stop with your life.

You're too excited for credit. So, Moussie Mike's over here on the computer. We're never going to use Moussie Mike. We got your legal name. We got Morkimendi Gabby's over here. Gabby? Yes. Gabby, obviously you're new to the podcast.

I remember. You please meet me. Hi. I'm the podcast? I am. I never met you. Please to meet you. Hi. I'm the biggest act at this table. Are you from New York? I'm from Jersey. What part? Me too.

Mom with county. Nice area. Where are you from? I'm from Hill. This is stunning conversation. Do you have any more leadership skills you want? I'm from Zant to us. I'm from Zant.

I've been in Zant to you. I've been there. Zant. Do you like having a spacey? Will you stop talking? Stop fuck. I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach over there. Zach, do you like him? Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad.

Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad.

Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say you're mad. Zach, I'm gonna say I've been talking. I feel like he would just take my mic anyway.

Oh. Oh. That just came out of his crow hole. I'm thinking to what? In my eyes. It was so much. The rage inside me turned into laughter. And it turned into a snake tank.

You understand, I looked in his face and he'd taken his simmers water. The rage inside of me, if I had a knife, I would have stabbed him. And give him so, the anger turns into laughter. Give him a turn. You're just like, it's not laughing hysterically. I'm sorry, I hate you.

No, that's organized thing right now. Let's get started. Let's get started. Here's the thing, go ahead, Gabby. Gabby's my producer. I never finished my credits. We're all done. We'll be here for after.

We're all done with credits. Okay. None of us have credits. If we had credits, we'd be in a theater, we'd have photos, and we wouldn't have the staff watching us by fucking, by gunpoint. Wait a minute. Are you sure you've mentioned me and Vals' name?

Keith Robertson, KWR Superstar, KWR Superstar One, Rich Voss, my wife hates me. I've done it all. We promoted this with your name. That was the problem, Mitch. This is your name, Mitch. No. You didn't promote it. Yeah, this is a tell us.

All your week, you only put my name on here, week ago. Hang on one second. I did retweet it. I did retweet it. So you'll say because you didn't promote it, that's why it's not packed. No, first of all, I did retweet it. I did, because I'm a team player.

The first of all, nobody from my listeners aren't coming to these village and taking an elevator ride up at the public. They're probably still walking around, have them probably bought weed and got stoned and went to some other show. My listeners, if I did a podcast in our house,

they wouldn't come. My listeners are all in the basement right now. All right, go ahead, Jesus. Wow, there he goes, he really. I got a death. Like another person coming. Yeah. I hope it's another podcast we can go do.

Well, I'm glad that we have you on the show, and I'm glad we have two women on the show, because of what? What is it? This is how delusion on my kid is, can you please try to get my boss two tickets to Chris Rock at Madison Square Garden on December 8th. No, no. Like, if they think, I mean, I could because I'm, you know, but I'm not gonna...

Chris, I have three daughters and she's not my favorite one, you know. She lives with a black guy. You gotta want to see if they see Chris Rock. What's that? Your daughter? How old is your daughter? How old is she? Uh, 1's 27. No, the 1 that's 25. You always get it. That's the black guy.

No, that's the 27 year old. I haven't talked to her in a while. That's right. No. Rain is the one that days a black guy. It's 10 year old. The 10 year old is the one. No, my time.

Did your daughter do it black, dude? 27 year old lives with a black guy. And I don't see color, because I don't go to their house. No. No. No. No, he's a black guy. I don't see color because I don't go to the house. No, he's a good guy. What? Watch your mouth, man. He's light skinned. What do you care? I like to die. Moka, real Moka. Go ahead, start going. Let's get going. Oh, can we get going now? Let's get this. Let's get this thing started, man.

It's already been started for 15 minutes. I'm sweating. I feel sick. I feel like I ate something bad. I'm in spitting on my face. I didn't spit in your face. I'm gonna get sued now. I'm gonna be fucking sued. Listen, speaking of all the stuff that's going on the news, Chris Rock just got page 6th with all this. He was at the seller. Do you want a bit? Do you want a fucking bit I mean it's coming

It's been gonna be right now it's like he's been doing that bit a while What was it? I don't know what the bit was but here's the thing is that a woman got offended at a show That's it got offended was drunk was I will fucking throw your phone. Get off. Why would you call your later? You're such an old Jewish guy.

You should be on a porch with a can. That was a 3-1-0. That was LA. That had to be big. You do have to pick up three. I always pick up three one-o. I'm going to give it to the hospital of my wife. I blew a three-o-no.

That could be a game. If you are, this is fucking thing. 3-1-0 or 2-1- I didn't realize that could be a game. Is this Harvey Weinstein? 310 or 213, you picked that up. Fucking mean. Shout your phone off. Just put it in the middle. Put it in the middle. Put it in the spit.

Sorry. So listen. She's a famous actress. So who? Right here. And that would be what's her name? Cruz. That's not.

That's not put in that'll be Cruz. And my fantasy it is. Whoa. You want to get in trouble? Cruise. That's not... That's not putin' that'll be cruise. In my fantasy it is. Whoa, you're gonna get trouble. Okay, all right. Do you wanna get in trouble? Well, you can't have fantasy, is that anymore? No, no. No, you can't have fantasy.

You cannot, you can't breathe. You can't even have fantasies? No. No, you can't, listen. You can't, I mean, I want to ask, because you guys are here. If I, if I, Vaughn, me and you meet at a comedy show, you go out after taking to the French roast, my spot, get a little coffee, maybe some steak and freets,

right? French roast doesn't have steak. Steak and freets. Freet? That's my thing. What's wrong with that? Back when I used to day chinks, I would take him to the French roast.

I knew what you were taking on McDonald's when you, you know,'s taking frets All right Nothing funnier than someone just taking off one. I know nobody laughing waiting for you to finish it dumpsense We go there picking up ones after you take her. Do you try to put one on her back? And I say that you're not gonna get this out. I'm gonna get it out. I don't know. So me and you go, we hang out.

We walk you back to your apartment wherever it is. And we start making out. Do I have to say, I would like to touch your breasts now? For me? Let me wait, let me go for a moment. Or for women in general. I'm saying, I'm saying now with the climate test. Do I have to go, I would like to touch your breasts now.

Unfortunately, it seems like for the climate now, yes. But my thing is, I've never been a woman that put out false energy. So you know, you're not going to question whether or not we're about to kiss. If it's me. Right. If I'm not interested in you in that way, I'm gonna make that clear as well. So as a woman, I have to draw that line too. Isn't there a point where you like,

as a woman where you do wanna fool around, you wanna do this stuff, but then somewhere in there, you're like, you know what, I'm out, I can't. I don't wanna, it's not the right time. With me? Yeah. No. What are you doing?

Wait, hold on. Once I make a decision, it's pretty cute. You want to go to such roasts? You need a, you need to be clarified. Been single six years. You know. Did you pay for the meal? Did you pay for it?

Huh? Did you see it? No, seriously. She went, oh my God. That should not offend anybody. I mean, if she was, literally, she, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, her reaction, she went, oh my God. That should not offend anybody.

I mean, if she, literally, her reaction, her reaction, nowadays is like, oh, to see an old guy with a hat, say that. Oh, listen, I think that is the hat. If he was a smoking hot young comic, right? I am. Would you say, oh my God, or is it, oh my God? Exactly. This creepy old guy said, I said, no, look, if I'm taking a skirt out to dinner, right?

If I'm taking a skirt and I pay for her lobster and steak, you know, look, look, why does it have to be lobster and steak? Why is she wearing a skirt? I'm twisting the meal. Why does it have to be steak and fruits? I've never seen Bonnie in a skirt. What do you think of the boy, you a skirt? No, it's in a wild, nice dress here.

Yeah, when she goes out without him. Because you're waiting for what kind of quality of food you eat with what you can do. Yes. That's what I'm saying. You say, it's an option steak, so I should be able to do. If I could go out for macaroni and cheese, what are you gonna do?

Watch me fucking beat off and hit me with a bad minute and rack it. I want sex. So I'm talking about- But I'm trying to stay- I wanna ask this one question. What? Is that, okay.

I'm not gonna get kids for it. We, we, I should, because I have a son, I'm gonna have to teach him what's what now? Yeah, it's gonna be. Like I was never taught, can I say something too, that we would never taught the birds and the bees. That's because you grow up in the war for me. I didn't get no offer.

I was in a foster home. I was in Juvegia. It's not fucking all over. Twist. But here's the thing. It was always more. Here's the thing, Bobby. As a woman, and I can't speak for all women,

I'm just speaking for me. if you say something corny, like, could you gonna touch your breasts, I'm probably gonna be like, no. But if you have a bit of, hey, not that. That's all. How about this, how about this? Okay.

Yo, yo, yo, yo. No. How about this, you have any little brothers? How about this? No, you tried, this is their awful bit. I don't want to. No, I would say, I would say, look, Do you have any little brothers? I'm a little... You tried. This is their awful bit of stuff. I don't want to. I would say, look, after we're done eating, can I take you home?

Do we get to your place? I go, can I come up? Would you like me to come up? And right there, yes or no? Then I'd feel it out when I got up. And like that, I'm not going to do anything creepy. I'm not a... You are lying!

I'm not... I'm never done anything creepy to you. Stop, a what one. Yes you are. You're lying. I'm not. I'm never done anything creepy. You two. Stop right here. You two pulled up in a car around 15 years ago to sell her like this. Hey, and you like you guess we just did.

You told me a story that I'll never ever forget. Oh, will I repeat? Because I feel like I'm going to hell. I didn't listen to that. Was it me in Keith, me in Norton? Oh yeah, no, you have to do, but you in N'm going to hell. I didn't listen to that one. What's it mean, Keith, me and me and Norton. Oh yeah, no, you have to do, but you and Norton have the worst. We had four of them.

What was well in Norton and the party? I can't tell it now. Of course you can't, because we'll all be in trouble. No, it's just not a ghost. I think it's a thin line. I think it's a thin line, because a lot of women, for me, I'll just say stuff out loud. Like if you're doing something I don't want you to do, I just say it.

Like how women are intimately like, wait a minute. That's what I'm saying. No actin' like men only one sex Women one sex to yeah, that's the whole thing we're trying to like where where the guys who want women one sex to And if you're a woman that is put in out sexual energy for any other reason for Then sex like you're you want a free drink you want a free dinner, right? You're an asshole Like if you're putting out sexual energy. We didn't say that. Yeah, I said it.

No, I'll bring it. I'll bring it. If you could, I'm good. No, because it's dishonest. Like, I'm not attracted to you, but I'm going to go spend time with you, have dinner, lobster, macaroni, and cheese, or whatever he's getting me. Staking fries.

Staking fries. And then you gotta say, steak treats. I'm flirting with you this entire time, and then I go, it's staking for us. Staking for us. And then, I'm flirting with you this entire time, and then I go, just kidding. Like, that's wrong. No? All right, that's a sorry. Let me see. Let the white girl talk.

Let the precious white girl talk. And let the precious white girl talk. Thank you, I'm loving. Am I precious? The head of the elves. What's that? Let her talk. No, I mean, and then there's different situations.

Like there's situations of manipulation where a girl like kind of can't say no or you're pushed up into it. What is that? You say no. Why can't you say no? What is the situation where you can't say no? I don't know.

Women who are outspoken, who are like, you know what? I'm not cool with this at this point. And then there's some women that I know, or some men as well, who are just like, feel weird saying anything, you know? And I know. So you feel weird saying no, so you're gonna lose someone. I'm not speaking for me. I'm just speaking for women that I know or some men as well who are just like feel weird saying anything, you know? And so you feel weird saying no, so you're going to. I'm not speaking for me.

I'm just speaking for women that I know. Here's where he asked to deal. I need to say anything. Wait, wait a second. Shut up, boss. I can't. This girl just said something. I'm interesting and you're going for a quip.

No, I know. I was going to, I was going to rebuttal. What's the rebuttal? You don't even know the fucking word rebuttal. Please somebody. That's not rebuttling. That's just coming back at what you said. That's not what I'm talking about. It's not what I'm talking about. It's not what I'm talking about. But that's different than the Chris Rock thing. It was different now. I still don't know what happened with the Chris Rock thing. Here's what we're going with this. Because, you know,

Harvey Weinstein piece of shit should be just taking that rapist. Yeah, that's power. But then you have a guy. Okay, but then you can't throw in a rumor about somebody being a creep. Being a creep, I've done creepy shit with girls. Do I regret it? Would I teach my kid it?

No, but now that I'm married for 10 years, I have a family, I've changed, I've grown, I've evolved, living with a woman, becoming more mature. Is this a confessible? No, all guys, and I think, and women, have done stuff, they regret, oh, they didn't want to do it,

the heat of passion, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when you start going back, I don't want to say you look at what this guy did. I don't regret any damn thing. What do you mean? Because I'm a man. I don't regret it. There's nothing you've ever done.

No. You never pulled your dick out. Yes, and I loved it. I just think that if you're out on a date, right? I was just trying to get him to say it. I was just building him up. Damn. I pulled my dick out yesterday at a bus stop in Philly.

And I loved it. I was in a first screen. Oh. Geez, he already had two kids. He started early. I whipped it out. I was in first grade for the third time, say that. That's the point. But I whipped it out, my penis out, and a girl beat the shit out of me.

Yeah. All right, well, there you go. And then end of my time. With your penis. He's got a huge piece. In life, in life. That's fucking legendary. What do you mean in life?

I talked about this with my therapist. I made jokes, listen, I have three daughters. And one, the bottom line is, because some guys, first of all, if you see a guy who's a guy, What do you mean in life? I talked about this with my therapist. I made jokes, listen, I have three daughters. And it went to bottom line is, because some guys, first of all, if you say to a young lady, or you're on a date, hey, do you want to masturbate together? Okay, yes or no.

If you pull it out and do it creepy. But guys don't understand, no, the word no means no, no matter what. If you're naked and you're this far away from penetration and she says no, then you get dressed. Because guys, guys will go well, we were naked already. No means fucking no and that's the bottom line. Vaughan, how do you feel about that? I agree with that but at the same time, you, how can I say it? People change their minds. People can change their minds, absolutely,

but don't let's not play the game. You know what I mean? Let's not play that game. Well, the game is like, I was... At what point did you change your mind when he put it in? I don't understand that. Not not in. Every time it went in for me, I was on board.

No, I'm not saying that. And before it goes in, before it goes in, sometimes people are drunk or certain or high and then they realize, before it happens, I don't wanna do this. And some guys are already undressed, she's undressed, and he's going, oh, she's just playing hard, or whatever, no,

because it's not where you go, no, I'm not playing hard to get shut down that energy, you gotta go. Yeah, right, shut down that energy, he's gotta go. But guys, look, there's points where you like, you know, you We think our dicks are like magic. Well, we can be like are you sure you don't want to touch it? Like we hypnotize you and then And she's she you know, there's been times. It's like I do But if she's like look, I'm out. No. Yes. No means no when you when you hear hear that, but the guys that go beyond that

are there's a big difference between that and a guy who pulled his dick out to out of passion to try to have sex or felt the vibes. Right, that's what I'm feeling. My feeling falls vibes too. Right, that's where I get angry. Like falls vibes.

Like as a woman, but when I say don't play that game, don't play that flirt game where it's like, no means yes me, no, don't do that. Don't fuck around with that. Right, because it's confusing. And then if you let it happen, and then tomorrow you regret it, and now he's a rapist, that's,

and it's the alcohol. I'm not gonna ask you a question. Do you think that the kids now though, I think boys are growing up with more information, more knowledge on what no means, no means no, and how not to get into those situations? Where? I didn't have a dad. He didn't have a dad. He didn't have a dad.

Did you have a dad? Yes, I had a dad. He didn't have a dad. Of course I'm black. I don't have a dad. Automatically. Oh. He didn't have a dad? Yes, I had a dad. You did a shitty job. Of course I'm black, I'm having a dad. Automatically. He didn't have a dad. No, I had a dad.

Did he live at home? No. OK. Did he teach you anything? Absolutely not. There you go. What you meant about the barber shop? I just think it's very dangerous for the women who really do get raped.

The nose and they got beat like you're getting penetrated, beat down and like raped for the women that are lying or exaggerating stories. That makes it that waters it down for the real heart, the real stories out there. If you're lying, what is that doing to the women that have that? Yeah, they're right. But you know what? I would say one out of ten are lying.

The other nine are telling the truth. And I think you're okay. Is that a personal thing? No, I just, yes, I think. I don't, those are yours. I don't think it's a shame. Because I don't think it's a shame. We don't want to hear fucking statistics out of you.

Well, here's what I think. You said rebuttled. OK, here's what I think. Because college kids now, they're so drunk on campus, they get fucking out. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fui, parás! Huelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¿Ya lo he habido? ¿No? ¿No? ¿No? ¿No? ¿No? ¿Gona callas?

¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas?

¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? ¿Gona callas? So we teach our kids, you have to teach your kid not to get into the situations because it's easy for a guy to get into a situation where he thinks it's going down. And then when it doesn't, to pull back and go to your self-esteem's hurt, everything is just like, so I'm ready, let me just finish. I'm ready to go and do this. This is great. She likes me. We're going to have, no, you have to go. That whole shutdown process is difficult

and you should make that easier for a kid to go, you know what, I got it. I know what that is, I'm out. I'll see you later. I was out of this. But when I can show her... The lines are so bad. When that kid is so strong, yeah.

It's so hard. And it's a new conversation too. And there's a lot of people, there's a lot of men that drink and don't rape. And there's a lot of women that drink and don't allow, you know, that don't make that line question. That's a cool. Right, that are in control.

Now, I get most of my information from SUV. So I watch some of you. Let them test you via the car. Huh? It's fucking the Jesus. Law and oil. Oh, it's for you. It's for you. the jeez. Lawn oil. Oh, SVO. SVO.

You got to know about this. The crowd is so beyond, like your stupid actually passed them. You've made them dumb. But they actually understand your dumb language. You said, I have to sort it right away. So I'm gonna be dumb. God damn it. Go ahead.

But I think that, like I said said the dumbest person I know I'm a good you very good SUV. I can't believe my information Mess you When they drive by They say him the news for you dumb dumb And what's so dumb about me is when she said the car I was like Lawn order Like she's an idiot But my point is this though. Can I say something that all this stuff that's going on, but

now all this political correctness where somebody can just stand up in a comedy club because they don't like what somebody said. Now in this paper, this Chris said this, he was offensive and blah, blah, blah, and the comedy sellers this and that. And then the guy from Page Six, didn't even do any research called the seller. They were like, they wanted quotes, what did he say? And they were like, we can't do that.

We don't, we do not give you that. That is ridiculous. It's not happening. We don't have it. And then they went and printed the fucking thing anyways. Now Chris, who's a performer, and everybody knows Chris, and comics, Louis, all of us. Go down to the cellar, and we have to go to the line,

step over it creatively to find out what's funny or not. And sometimes you say offensive shit that some drunk asshole might be offended by that night, but when you come back six months later and see him do a special, and he worked it out. Worked it out. And found the truth. And now you're like, yeah, that's a touchy subject,

but what a magical thing that rock has done time after time again. But I would like to know myself, what did he say? He's talking about not hiring women because he was like scared that they were gonna sue him or something. Basically, that was the whole thing. He's like, I'm never gonna say Larry David on SNL.

He said, he got smashed because he said, trying to pick up a girl in the concentration camps. He said, you can't, you can't, you can't, you should be. But the joke was, he wasn't that good said anyways, it was like a mediocre said, he was, but he also said, the joke was, he wasn't on a good set anyways, it was like a mediocre set, he was, but he also said, the joke was, you can't use regular pickup lines in the concert stage, you can't be like,

hey, so how's your day? Won't work. Which is funny. It's a funny joke. And it's not like, it's an Irish cat that's not saying it. And you're like, his family was in Germany at the time. He has relatives that went through that. He thought he had the okay to talk about that

and try to go down a road, nobody's going to be. Well, they must have gave me okay before he did. What was they did? They did. One, two, test one, two. All right, deepdiscount.com, one of my favorite sponsors. These guys are incredible, the website's incredible. I wentdiscount.com one of my favorite sponsors. These guys are incredible. The website's incredible. I went there this week. I got the movie dudes who are in it. John Cryer. What's

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So, you know, comedy, look, if you don't cross the line, then there's no sense in doing comedy, you know. If you're not, but if you're not working, now it's so fucking, wait, if you look at comedy that they present, 90% of it is monologue, non-offensive, set up punch tag. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no'm over here now, blank, blank, blank. You don't have Patrice O'Neil's anymore. You don't have those guys coming up.

Where would Patrice be right now? What would he be at? Well, I mean, the quote came, like one of the things that he said a long time ago is society let context be destroyed. Like you got to get the context of things and everything, you can't necessarily be so sensitive about every little thing.

Otherwise, why are you even at a comedy show? But you know what, you're not. It's social media. So that's it. That's it. That's it. Leading away. But Bobby, here's where you're wrong

when you're saying those people on these shows. Look who's selling out theaters and stadiums. Louis, okay, Edgie Comic, Bill Burr, Edgie Comic, Rock, Edgie, Amy, Edgie. I can name it Rogan, Edelome, Bill Burr, Edgie, comic, rock, Edgie, Amy, Edgie. I can name it Rogan, Edgie. So that's not true. All these Edgie, comic. I didn't say that.

No, you're actually bringing up what people, the big comics that people go and see, the actual comic, but if you look on TV, wait a minute. No, no, no, no. Billy Burr is not on fucking. All those people you mentioned have our specials on show, on TV. Wait a minute. No, no, no. Billy Burr is not on fucking. All those people you mentioned have hour specials on show, but most of the TV content you're

getting on TV is, I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it's not offensive, I'm not saying it's very funny, but it's monologue humor. Nobody gets offended. Nobody gets offended. Have you ever seen something like that? No, I've been a little light-hearted. Comedy Central. on a log humor. All those lighten, nobody gets offended. Have all those lighten? No, I'm a little light-hearted.

Comedy Central, Netflix, blah, blah, all these people are putting on this type of humor because nobody wants to, people are getting afraid to offend people. People are getting afraid, these people are afraid to offend people anymore. Carlin offended people, find the funny. He told the whole joke about God that he doesn't exist

and Catholics and Christians were laughing at. But Carlin didn't have to live with this social media to just Twitter to Instagram, Carl. That's right, you're right. I mean, I watch an old episode of Tough Crowd, which I don't fuck you, that show should be on the air right now, because you need to, people need to laugh at themselves,

and people need to lighten the fuck up. Because I watched an episode with Patrice. They were talking about the same shit back then, but they were saying the most outrageous fucked up shit. Yeah, they did. And people were saying the most outrageous fucked up shit. Yeah, that ain't. And people were laughing. And it was all the sides. And every time.

And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time.

And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time. And every time.

And every time. And every time. And every time Keep saying that to me all the time. It's like come from, you know, you're coming from a place. You can't work something out at a comedy club. It's unfair to be able to go to where we go, our office. Right. Well, we work stuff out. In front of, you're paying $100 a ticket. This isn't Madison Square Garden. This is the comedy seller.

It's $15 and you get to see Chris Rock, Lou Louis, Amy, me, Burr, Voss, sometimes. Keith Robinson. I'll be right back. Never me. But you get to see and they're working stuff out. You should, and if you went to a special, watched a special, and then complained about it fine. But he's trying to find something to eat.

But do these people there even have that perspective when they're sitting in the audience? They don't even know that they're in your office. They don't know the process. They think that you, as a comic, you just get up there and talk and just magic happens. They don't really, a lot of people don't understand that it is a problem.

We have to be offensive. If you're not offensive, if you're not offensive, no, that's not true. No, you have to be offensive sometimes to find that joke. You have to be offensive sometimes to find that joke. If it's coming from a genuine place, like if you're doing a shing, be shocking. You guys are all right.

Let's get to the reason that way, we got to get to the reason that why are women more on men now than ever before about everything. Because they've been held down for so long, and now it's dirt cans to rise above. Can you use another word than held down? They've been suppressed for so long.

And finally, it's dirt turned. It's dirt turned. And I think some, because they should be, because of things that happen, and some just because they can be, and they're taking advantage. That's what it's not like. You're not making sure taking advantage. That's really not a true, that's it. If that's the, we have done so much horrible stuff

towards women through the years, that now it's just, you know, it's out, it's coming back. We've not been good to women, like folks. Huge. We've been black folks. Jews. We've been all right with you. Irish Catholic Italians. No, the same. Women have the same voice as black lives matter now.

They're coming up. Black lives matter makes a difference. Women right now see, hey, we have to make a difference. Enough is enough. But you can't, let me say something. You can't go crazy. You can't go too far this way, because the people here are gonna wind up going that way.

You can't fuck around with that. That's a power, the power that you have, you need to use it. This lady was like, I didn't like what he said. I'm gonna go fucking, you can affect somebody's life now, like that. And you shouldn't, the person that's writing that article just has to put a word, not true, it could be a rumor, it could be horseshit. Well, that's not of the fact, but if they put you next to Harvey Weinstein, oh yeah. And it's not even true, that's you.

I would ask the audience to wait for what, an hour the other day, I was attacked on Twitter because something that I said, it got taken out of context by somebody that I knew, and they threw me to the wall. And I was getting death threats, like, oh, she's saying rape is okay. I was saying stuff like I'm saying here, like, it's not okay to lie, it's I'm saying here like it's not okay to lie.

It's not okay to this. It's not okay to that. And it was, my words were taking out a context. And then I was attacked. I'm like, what, I called Keith. I was on the phone with you for a while. Like what is this? Tell what you're calling for right now.

They can just, they don't have calling cards anymore. Cell phones are internet. you just get a phone. This is a calling card. You did a joke from 1989. I'm old. You can't even buy a calling card. But just to your point, Bobby, just to your point, one little thing can get you attacked and more killed

these things. That's why I don't even fucking, I don't even tweet. Because you can really ruin someone's life. It's such garbage. But you know what, the social media. But I get that, hold on, I get all that that, we saying as garbage and all that, but systemic sexism and systemic racism.

Hang on, one of these all, you say that? Huh? Say, say it. I knew somebody was gonna do it. What is it? It's systemic. That's, that's also garbage. You barely turn the corner on that. Until we really know what it means. We got to deal with the garbage that we don't want to do.

Ask you if you know what it means. Ask me if you know what it means. The people that act like it doesn't exist. You're going to get people in a club that are not happy. It's not the people that aren't happy. It's the fucking writers that do no research that are hack writers that are writing with an outdoing. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's not to people that aren't happy. It's to fucking writers that do no research

that are hack writers that are writing with an outdoing. No, no, no, no, these fucking... Let me say something, okay. It's not to say something. But yeah, because he goes on, wait a while. No, but you don't think it. Did New York say, now he's back on? Can I give an example?

Can I give an example? Yeah, yeah. Real quick, body wrote a funny tweet about somebody. Listen to me, no, listen calling body wrote a funny tweet about somebody listen to me now listen to wrote a funny tweet all of a sudden she's getting emails from the New York Times yeah because they want to throw that they don't have content so they're not doing research they're putting out garbage without looking fine but wait a second that's my point yeah that's my point just forget people but they've always done that. That's what they do. Okay, we can't hold them accountable

because that's what the press does. But we have to hold each other accountable. Yeah, absolutely. So that woman needs to, in her brand go, I was offended. I don't think what he said was funny. I'm gonna leave. The next joke. The next, fine.

Get the, you have the right to get you at the box. Get the fuck out. and go see a movie. Yeah, you're not the comedy police. You can't fucking take somebody's career away because you thought something they said was not funny. And as a comic, like you said, hold yourself in each other accountable, like keep doing your stuff. Like if she leaves, that's one person who left.

Everyone else is still here laughing. Yes. So that nobody else was laughing. Even if nobody else was laughing, I, you don't even have to make your, you can go up a bomb. You can go up a bomb. But you can go up and bomb and take a hit.

That's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to go up and talk about something. And maybe we bomb and those people that night would be like, oh, this guy stinks. And then in six months, you come back with all that material and you figured it out. And they're like, wow, I saw how many, that was shit six months ago.

Now it's brilliant. You ever saw that? You would never go out there. Right. You're always going to get somebody who doesn't like what you think. That's something you can't believe that. But we can't be scared as comics. We can't be creatively scared to say something on stage

because we see some girls face like this or some guy going, fuck that. We cannot be scared. We're not scared. We are not those type of people. We're not scared. You don't get scared on such. No, I had a 12 year old in the audience the other night when I did the know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, Hey guys, welcome to the Apple picking patch pumpkins are over there

Hot side of down We were doing the crews and some lady brought her kid in I go do you think I'm gonna change what I'm doing That's really different. So no, but I never ever gonna, I'm gonna be who I am. And that's where I'm at. You have to know, but no. Well, you said it now, you don't have the money. You don't have money like that. I don't. But if you have 20, if you have 12 million, Chris Rock has like a million dollars to lose.

Yeah. It's not million to lose. He has a lot more to lose, yeah. You're from a bar, that's all I'm listening. It's a bottle of everything. He has a lot more to lose. You're from a barrow that, and he's listening to his boxers. But you don't have that money. You got to have something that's steak first and tough.

I do have stuff as steak, because what? What? Because what's that collection? He gave you his credit, so I have to not say, because Netflix or Communist federal go, hey, we're not going to use him. He's too edgy.

They don't use you. Yeah, too maybe boy. They don't use that. I think it not gonna use him. He's too edgy. They don't use you. Yeah, you may be white Exempt for him Yeah, cuz it can't get it somewhere My co-tails dump me It's a lady in the glasses. Are you press back there whose video tape in this? What's that? Jesus false video tape in this. What's that? Jesus. What's your

doctor? Oh, I got you. Asked me to in a bag. Because I got some. No, I got to ask that me to in a bag. The other glasses. You thought you was some. I told you was some. And why you newspaper? Yeah, you thought you was some feminist because she has glasses because that all feminist have glass and but he doesn't have gray hair. They all have gray hair. No, they don't. Yes, they do. No, they don't. You don't have to be a feminist.

I have great hair, folks. That's right, that's right. I'm offended. I am offended. I'm walking off. And I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that bitch. Nothing. Listen, I'm going to do what I do.

Because I don't think it's just I'm personal. I don't think that for what we do is comics, you can't, you can't go to a comedy club in New York City when we're working shit out and be offended and then go to a newspaper and try to take us out using these words that are hot, that are in the paper right now. Clickbait. That means something.

Yeah. It's taking a lot of fucked up guys out that should be taken out. And then you're throwing this, all these little guys in the same car. Yeah, and there a joke is not funny. No. Yeah, there's just that.

You know, what is that hour? What's it? What? What? What? Five. Yeah. That's how much it costs. Wow. It's hour. I mean, I'm being considered for a Grammy. You are not.

Yes, I am. Buddy, can I tell you how Grammys work? Listen, I was considered for Grammys for three years. There's around 700 people. I didn't say that. All how many people were considered. Yeah, but you're not being considered. They will it down to like five.

Yeah, that's five people. You're not in the five. Wanna to bet? How much? Nothing. I'll tell you I'll tell you at the end of the month. If you win a Grammy, I'll let you have sex with me. I would give it back. I let you take me to the French roasts. St steak and freets. Oh, I'm gonna... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... People that are doing these things, they're not comedy people. They're the people that go to the club, get drunk, fucked up,

and you're gonna get kicked out. I don't know this guy's an asshole, and they call it. Those people, fuck that. I'm talking people who love comedy, okay? Who know comedy, we all have to stick together. Because we need to be able to say whatever the fuck we want. Because right now, if you look at the shows, the comics are the ones that are making people laugh, but also being the most honest.

Absolutely. I trust with... They're saying more on the daily show than on the regular news. Here's... Here's... People are taking jokes too literally. I think he's literally fucking around up there. He's not like, I'm never gonna hire women and this is a TED Talk. You know? And it's not all the way worked out. And regular... Civilian, who doesn't know the part of that. You do, you know? And it's not all the way worked out. And regular civilian, who doesn't know the part that's of that. You do, she do a podcast.

Yeah. Seriously, the whitest of white and the black is the black. She's not the black is the black. I knew you were gonna call my black. I got a fight for my black, because I'm black, don't go there. She's half black. She's the black.

That's because my mother's the white. She's half black. Nothing to do with my black is. She's half white. Half black, half white. She's the black. She's black. She's because my mother's white. She's like, nothing to do with my black. She's half white. Half black, half white. That's why I'm like, he's black. I'm black. But the podcast we watch, he's black enough.

We don't want to go full black. We're not going Yamanika. I'm not going to be a slave. I would be in a house. He would be in a field. Well, she, when it comes to tipping, what do you do or don't? That's a fact. Look at, she goes again. Will you he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he I'm a tip somebody. Tip me right now. Tip me. Tip this guy. He's the only guy that came to the show really.

What do you got? Let me see. I'll say. Don't go to nobody here. Not a $100 checkie, dummy. There's no real fact. There's no problem with you and it's a bit. This is a bit, but people, no listen, listen.

People do no research when they go to clubs. They just go like like say Keith as well say Bobby's working at whatever Let's Bobby Kelly go online see some of his bits and you go. I like that. I don't like that. I like it I disagree no, but wait a second. You would never go to a music venue send a front row and go hope it's jazz I know I disagree. I think that you listen I finished I I apologize. Jesus Christ. I'm in the hands of God.

I don't like rich. I don't like rich. I don't like rich. I don't like rich. You're bullying involves. I know. Robert tell you're a bully. He's not a bully.

Yeah, Ruma's not. Yeah, exactly. You can ruin his life. That's not a rumor. You can't ruin his life. You can't ruin a life that's not. I disagree with you. I disagree. Why? If someone's coming into a call, look it. In New York, that's not life. I disagree with you. I disagree.

If someone's coming into a call, look, in New York they have barkers. But you said you point. Can I just tell you why I disagree? Because I think as a professional comedian, when we go on the road to do our hour, and where they pay us the money, that's money. Okay, whatever.

They're paying us. They're paying us to do our thing, right? They're paying us to do our thing, right? They're paying us to do our thing. And we should be able to go up at that point and fucking know our crowd, know our room, do our thing. And if someone gets up and leaves, who gives a fuck? Yeah.

But I think it's on the person to sit there and go, okay, I came to a show, I don't know this guy, I don't like a shit, I'm gonna go. Like a movie, a place, any a concert, I'm done. I wanna go, I don't like to expand. Get, be an adult, don't be a fucking twat. I'm gonna do that. Be in the crowd, don't be a baby.

Get up and go, you know what? I don't like it, I'm gonna go. You just have to be a twat now. And as a young comic, as a young comic, that covers everybody. As a young comic, that's good though gonna hold on. I'm from Boston. I'm coming. Covers everybody. As a young comment, that's good though, because you get, like you guys know your audience.

You get to, when people like you or don't like you, as long as you state a course of what you're doing for me, it's like, okay, I'm finding my audience. How do I find my audience if I'm tiptoeing around, changing for everybody to not, they don't like this, don't like that. I'll never find where I'm going. Look, you're gonna get somebody a Keith Bobby in myself.

I've been doing comedy 33 years, Keith probably 31. We're not gonna fail. Oh, don't speak for me, man. You think, okay, you've been doing comedy seven years. Okay, so he's doing good. No, here's the real deal. Here's the real deal. 90% of the time we're not gonna fail on stage

because we know we're doing, we know how to do a lot of work. We have, now somebody, I go with 98. If somebody says to me, you're not funny, fuck you. If they go in my opinion, you're not funny. Five, leave, divide. But you can't speak for the whole audience and people do that.

You would never be in a movie theater and go, this sucks everybody, let's go. Right, comedy clubs. I speak for the whole audience and people do that you would never be in a way of it Deed or go this sucks everybody. Let's go right comedy club It's a good look No, you didn't say it in my opinion. I said the same thing. Let me say it in a girl way Can I say it in a girl way? He understands Here of the beholder just like beauty isn't I the beholder in the air he's understands. Comedy is in the gear of the beholder, just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In the air.

That's my, yeah, comedy's in the here of the beholder. That's amazing. You have seven minutes left. There's seven minutes left. Mike hasn't Googled one thing. Mike, what do you feel about this? I don't do it. I think that we actually should.

I don't want, I'm gonna do, I quit. How fucking hard are you exactly? He's Mexican dude. Oh, he's Mexican. I don't want I'm gonna do I quit how fucking He's maxing it dude always max at what a second do anything they have a more hair They don't have to block the heat Now see if we didn't step over the line We would have never got to that joke if we just stayed on my joke it wouldn't have been funny I wasn't that even way I'm offended you should be offended me offended all right Let's I want to I want to go where are you where are you playing next? Well next yeah, I'm at the comedy cello man. You know the big show coming up. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm a don't a show at

I mean what the fuck Promote yourself your old man. I'm not a old man. I'm a human being man. No, I'm being Valley Forge Casino. Whoa, how'd you get that? All right, this is me, you know, where our careers really are. All right, telling you had a stroke. That's not nice. I was invented. I was leaving. It wasn't for everybody.

That is really... Oh, man. No, I'm doing a fong's animated. And I'm making a lot of money. With who? With who? With who? Who's the star?

Wanda. Wanda's only got me got me got. No, I can't. She's having hardest producing. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not ready yet. I can't wait till they, I can't wait to you accuse Kevin

and Wanda for sexually abusing you. The gap will get all right. I'm gonna be great. Oh. Oh. Kevin, he's having that. Kevin used to make me do pushups. William.

Yeah. Right. I have to tie him off his bum bum. Yes, I put push-ups in my... Forget it. It's too hard. Why don't you used to make me braid her hair naked? You damn right. But that's what I'm doing. You're not doing anything else.

You're not doing that. You're not doing that. I'm doing an anime. I'm the voice of a pit bull. You're like, you're like, you're like, Camio Cartoon. Shut up. Boss.

Funny, that was boss. What do you get? Boss is doing nothing. Hang on. I want to listen. I want to find out where I can help Boss's restaurant. He's playing.

At the coffee bean. No, restaurant is playing. Go. At the coffee bean. No, I hate playing. What we're on playing is the week not this weekend. Get out of the house. Where are you at? Come on. Next week and I'm in Rhode Island at the comedy connection. I'll show.

Don't step on that. Don't go see him. Come see me. No, no. Literally. Listen, go see. You have to make a choice. You want to see.

You have to see Bob. Don't. See me first. Okay. I'm being, uh, we just, right now, on the table have three shows on the table. No, tell us on the table. It's on the table. Are we going to show that?

Everybody here has a show on the table. Really? Mike has a show in development. All right, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold like two mil. No, we're not gonna see it dying. Let's see. You did it first, why would you shut up? What's it making of that? Yeah, it's asking, it might make it in the end. Boss is lying.

He's the producer, one of the producers. Don't worry, I don't believe in her. We got neither do I, but. I will tell you this, you will not be making it that good. Woo! You were okay. It wasn't in it. You were in back. Woo! You were okay. It wasn't in it. You were in it.

Oh, you backed out. Very well. She's very confident. I like it. So listen. So, you got, all right. Where is your gig? Oh, just go to richforce.com.

I spoke to him. Yeah, exactly. I spoke to him. You never when he had his new website, but all the, he had like nine heads. So, he was just wobbled on the top. Here's what we got. You're excited.

Let's go over what we got from balls. I may have after we think it's on a table. Three things, three things, but the roast is selling. What do you have? I'm going to be a key that the Valley Forge Casino. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

And then just started up. Who's driving Wanda, your head? Yeah. Who's headlining? Yeah, and I just started up who's driving wander your Who's had lining I'm not allowed to Make stabs at that level yet so I'm just not saying nothing. Is that what you told her? Has tag me to somebody help me And also can I also say I just started my coach Vaugh at Sports and Comedy podcast, if anyone is interested in checking that out, coachvon.com. Awesome.

Real quick, what do you got? Mike. I don't even have a microphone. I fuck off. Listen, me. Where am I? I'm back comedy connection this week. I said it five times already.

I got to trump his, because they might go come and think it's him. I'm there the week after they might go come and think it's him. I'm there the week after. How many days you there? Friday Saturday. Me too. Friday Saturday this week, we're both tensed.

And then I'm going to Aruba for nine days. What? Oh, wait, Aruba. That's not as bad as that. That's not as bad as that. You know, can I go to Aruba? You're doing that gig. I dress for Aruba.

Can I do my plug? Are you doing this? Wait, Bobby it. I'm gonna do it. Bobby goes, I said, can I go to a room, but he goes, no. You're doing that kid. That's a pain, Bobby. Don't want that. Robert Kelly live.com, for all my dates, you know what, dude, podcast. I want to thank Zach over there. Thank you, Zach. I want to thank Gabby.

Thank you, Gabby. I want to thank Mike, there. Thank you, Zach. I want to thank Gabby. Thank you, Gabby. I want to thank Mike Mushy Mike for sitting there. Thank you, Mike. Literally sitting there and doing nothing. The whole truth. Shit. It makes me so happy. Because I have him on camera, but only half of him. Half anymore.

Oh, you're not? That makes me so happy. I want to thank TBS, and I want to thank the New York comedy film, Comedy Festival. Film. Whoops. I'm a good actor. And I want to thank the New York comedy film, comedy festival, film. Whoops. I'm a good actor. And I want to thank the staff.

I mean, you guys, thank you. Way too many of you for this show. But thank you for coming up. You guys did a great job, great set. And we will see you next time on You Know What, Dude podcast. That's it. That's it. No, I want to do more time. No, there's no more time. Hey, I'm telling you right now,

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