Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Live from the Philly Punchline

Episode Date: October 16, 2017

“Live From the Philly Punchline” with the @JerseyJerks and Philly comics @richieredding and @NathanHabib! Filmed outside @punchlinephilly, so the video is a little rough, but honestly, Philly looks better that way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophile. It's podcast, no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, that's so f**k. That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping, sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions, I love doing it Way both sides of the coin That's how in a house, not as you mother pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-p you know what to podcast on whitecast.com

Yo, what's up? All right, this is a live YKWD from the punchline I was awful to try to just burp into the Typical fucking fact fat guy shit. Sorry, live from the punchline comedy club, we'll go around the room and introduce everybody. It's, we have two people that I have known for a long time. We got Marco and Missy from the Jersey Jerks. What's up? What's going on guys? Hey? It's not guys. It's me. Oh, what's up, Bob? I'm talking like to the camera. You're not talking to the fans fuck face

That Bobby show was killer. I loved it. I laughed it sarically. No, if I could just have sex with you All right, so into What what what what what what black guys? No Wrong with like she doesn't like fat guys dude. I said black guys Black she don't like that guys. I know that I like that guy. No, you shit. I don't mind That guy's all right. Listen cough Mark. Sorry, but she hates the blacks listen with every other goes by she likes fatta guys Sorry, but she hates the blacks listen with every other goes by she likes fatigues Sanders lower I love her fucking smoking cackle

Hi, so who else you guys did you do to each other each other off camera? Not each other, but he do she sells yeah, what's up? each other off camera not each other but he does yourselves yeah what's up you're a fucking troll crew what's the man's ex? I thought I was gonna have to look deep into his eyes and announce the man's name what's up Richie Redding and I was hanging out in Philly did a show on my own and came by to catch the rest of Bobby's show

it's pretty dope what's going on guys Nathan and me working with Robert Kellier at the Philly Punchline having a blast as he burns himself I wish he could help me my wife will see this she's cheating on you anyway I know she is I think she is I think she's is. I think she's cheating out. I think she's cheated on me. I read that article. 40% of women now are cheating on their husbands. What? And they do. That's believable.

It's like 80, 90%. Women are hores. What are you, they're fucking representative? Hello, I'm, you see, representative of all women. We are hores. Amen. Have you cheated fuck representative? Hello, I'm the C representative of all women. We are horse. Hey, men. Have you cheated on people? Always. We need always. Yes. What do you think happens? What do you mean it happens? Are you doing it?

I do it. Often. You like to, so if you have a boyfriend, you're cheating on him. Most likely. Really? Yeah. Did they know that? Yes. You tell them. I'm on them. Most likely. Really? Yeah. Did they know that? Yes. You tell them. I'm very honest.

I'm an honest open person. You're an honest whore. Why don't you all are or. You gotta work. I'm not a whore. You're just like a you like sex. And when you see something you want, you go get it. And I get bored.

But if you're not married, so it doesn't matter. Exactly. I mean, we're talking get on marriage, what doesn't matter? Exactly. I mean, we're talking about my wife who took an oath. To you. Yeah, I don't know anything about that. I'm speaking for the single women of America then. But it's 40%. 40% of women now are cheating.

But here's the thing, they say that the way women do it, men will never know. They'll never know because guys cheat and we get, we make them that grow from, we don't wanna let go of that. Right, right. We don't wanna let go of that pussy. Yeah. If it's good we're keeping it.

If I cheat it with her I wanna, I wanna do it again. Everything I might come to Philly, me and Missy are gonna get some steak and cheese if you know what I'm saying. Hey, you know what I mean? A woman will cheat with just the guy once. To do it in a garage or something. Up in a marco somewhere.

I know your husband, boom. You do it once in a car. Chico's parking lot. Right. The majority of the people that got busted on the Ashley Madison thing were women. Like, did you have to do it yourself yet before you fucking get the fuck out of here?

Yeah, you fuck, remember? Long on to my podcast. You bumped the fucking guy right out. What did you have to do yourself? Yeah, you guys are very good very do you have a stroke? How do you not remember this happening? No, don't blame It was two minutes ago She bats her eyes at you and you fucking get amnesia I don't know if her members my name. It's been like use the mic dummy. This isn't a fucking one doesn't a live audience No, I just I love it. It's like keeping dreams. Nathan. I love it. Perfect. Just checking.

Nathan fucking pickle A big room. A big yeah, I thought your name was a beep first And you'd be your first name. I'm a big Nathan. I'm sounds like it should be a DJ like a slow James channel me a DJ Yeah, listen to the beat He talks all oh my god that would be dope you think I have a DJ voice I feel like a slow jam channel yeah for like a slow jam channel oh my god somebody who breathed in fire you can hit the post me no he has a voice lost, it's like a half lost voice. It's a guy in me.

It's like, it's not a little. No, I'm not, that's like, I'm testing now. It's like, they're full, it's like, it's curious. I don't know, it's not like, so conscious when I talk. You should be, you should have a time. I want a crowd full of misses. Fucking drunk chicks are just a tackle.

Yeah, that's like, eat every fucking 20 minutes during your set to smoke a cigarette, take a piss. I didn't leave once. You did it. I didn't. Have you seen it before? I haven't.

You haven't. No. This is your first time. It was. Oh my god. You were amazing. Oh mama, thank you so much. Now you guys are on, I'll give you a little history

on these facts. They're original riot cast people, okay? Everybody who loves riot cast, loves all the shows on riot cast, including my show. These are the guys, the Jersey jerks who started it out. Back in the day, how many years ago? She's got to be seven, seven years ago.

Seven years ago. Seven years ago. You went Rob Sprance, you guys started the riot, it ago. Seven years ago. We went to Rob Sprance. You guys started the, it was back then called the Glory Hole Network. Rob Sprance started it. Yes, Rob Sprance. Of course he's the founder.

He's the founder. He loves that word, found the pod father. He's the man. We do love Rob. We do. We do love Rob. Dude, I lost 17 pounds. It's bugging me.

He's, he's looking good. He is looking good. I'm jealous. It's starting to bug me. That his job looking good. He is looking good. I'm jealous It's not a bug me that his job is good. He's looking good. Everything seems very good for Rob Yeah, go through a midlife crisis isn't it? Yeah, we're all gonna get the boot someday probably yeah No, we're just we're just waiting for it loyalty is everything we're just waiting for it well waiting for that phone call Well, you guys were one of the original podcasts on the network. Right. Original four. Yep. It was the glory hall. Mm-hmm. Then there was mad party scientists. Mad scientists party hour. Same thing. Uh-huh. And why is this still on the network? It is. Yeah. It is. It's actually really. No, I love those guys. They really are. I really

love those guys. Okay. Why are you sucking back? Why are you sucking back? They don't do it anymore. No, they're going. They were the original slots. Yeah, yes. Who were talking about fucking dudes and they did it. They couldn't show their faces because one was a school teacher. One was a doctor or some... Yeah, but they were fabulous. They were talking about... So now guys we fucked. Those girls came in at the right moment at the right time and talked about fucking dudes and bank and you know and they hit the huge yeah it's a great title and those fucking bum those girls out why because they were they did it before it became the thing I know they were good so yeah they were excellent yeah yeah hot as shit yes they were oh my god I mean I want to show it up at the They were good. That was a fun. They were excellent. They were good shots. They were a lot of shit. Yes, they were.

Oh my god. I mean, I wanted to show it up at the seller. Because you never saw their face. Oh. Yeah, this is before video. Neither one of them. Nobody did video podcasting. I mean, I think Joe Rogan started it.

But he had money to do it. Yeah. We could figure out technology had to catch up to the point where it was cheap enough and easy enough For guys like us or everybody to look at Louis. We're doing a podcast from the courtyard at the punchline outside That is awesome. I brought everything on my fucking backpack Technology caught up with me. So the average fuck fart like me Video podcast. It's crazy, But back then, it was just audio. And those girls, man, they showed up on a god, I wanted to fuck both of them.

Did they make out? I feel like that's the usually the total opposite. I think they'd like that out. Yeah. I think they used to, you know, drama. Why what do you mean? X, X, Hollywood drama. That's why they stop. They're podcasting. No shit. Yeah. Why? Talk to me. Sounds like he gave his alcohol related. What do you mean? I think they got you drunk all the time. They're not even gonna do it. No, no, they're ex-husband.

They were taking them to court and they were threatened to throw them to boss with the podcast. Oh, they were getting divorced, right? They're using the podcast as evidence because they're talking about being divorced. I guess so, yeah. It's possible. Wow, that is possible. Yeah, man. Yeah, fuck yeah. That's terrible that these things can be used against us. My biggest fear is that I'm going to get on some fucking CBS show about Christianity. We're playing a priest change my whole life around. I'm going to have one of my podcasts where Lewis Gomez is sucking my dildo dick.

Yeah, if I'm gaaand. Well, that people get offended 10 years later about some shit. That's what happened to- I'm gonna see that some day too. Yeah. I mean, my son's gonna hear a lot of crazy shit. And I'm gonna have to go look, man, it was in the name of laughter. That's right.

That's right. The name of laughter. I'm not gonna get that shit out of you. To Ralphie Mae, who passed the day, it's awful, but... First of all, don't step on my toes and my push. I'll have to fuck up. I'll be in the podcast into that. Fucking yapping asshole. What a fucking piece of shit you are.

You don't think I'm gonna announce, talk about the Ralphie Mae thing, I'm gonna do a whole segment on it. I'm getting the fucking formalities. Have you ever been on my show? Yes. Yeah, and you know I roll. I fucking introduce people, we talk about backgrounds, and then we get into the thing I want to talk about.

If it, and that's it. And you come right out of the fucking hot gate trying to bring it, of course. Now we gotta talk, now all the shit about this, old dead, we gotta talk about Ralphie, you put us in the background. That's all, thank you. Sit down, relax, and let me fuck and tell you what to give him the microphone please. Hey, Richie Redding, if you guys want to follow me. Okay. I'll cut that out.

Nathan Stern. You really get talking down to him. I'm more charisma than him. I got you. I got you. I need the sounds of Nathan. All right. Listen, here's the deal. It's very sad though. What a shit dick you are. I'm sorry. Why would you listen? There's something being talked about. You know, just throw in a major topic like that. You know, like that's like, we're talking about her tits,

having a great time talking about her tits. And then you go, you know, do you hear that thing that happened with the Borscht Clinic today? What? Oh yeah, we should talk about, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's a show killer. Tits. They're good. I clinic today. What? Oh yeah, we should talk about, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's a show killer.

They're good. I like them. What size are you fits? They're 34, double day. God. I don't even know what that is. Anyway. I got a nice bit. But welcome to the show.

I wanted to give a little history of where you guys came from before fucking jackass. I feel like we're gonna give enough history. It's rich writing. Thanks, Rich. We're gonna go back. I don't wanna talk about it because you guys were, and you guys were one of the original before podcasting

or just when it became big. Yeah. You guys were in there. Eight total years. And you, like as far as the podcast, like every, you know, there's a lot of podcasts that do crazy shit, attack people, say whatever the fuck they wanna say, you were one of those podcasts

that just didn't give a fuck. No. Like there was a lot of people just talking and what do you think about this? You guys like that guy's a dickhead, fuck you, you know, people on and fuck with him. Well, we're not in the business, that's why. So we don't, you know, we don't have to worry

about anything. Yeah, but even if we were, we would start on the other side. I think we'd be the same Yeah, I mean if you listen to some of our podcasts you'll hear our opinions on women comics most women comics Yeah, you'll hear a bunch of shit that probably if we were in a business wouldn't be good for good for us We're staying up comedians. Yeah, but so that's where we have the benefit and we attack people that attack you and Rob yeah Yeah, the chick that the shitty podcast that attacked you the jack I don't fucking remember it was stupid That was horrible and then that's a

We attack you yeah, but as a joke I know we're missing Fab Who was that? As a mother. I know. We're missing Fab and Chris, the other two. Not one thing. Chris and Fab, who don't. Fab just recently got on camera. Yes. Because you didn't want to be seen.

No, Fab's good with it. Chris won't get on camera. So Mark, are you were doing the shift like when it was not even cool yet? Yeah, we were doing it when it wasn't even cool. No side conversations. There's one conversation. Well, I'm trying to build charisma like you asked me,

and it's hard when you're fucking talking all the time. There's a thing, I mean, there's a thing. Learn how to jump in, dumb dumb dumb dumb. Just cross-talk the grid of hand-meat. I feel like we're both fucking all right. Fuck it, all right. Then you're on a microphone, they're hearing other people saying you

at the same time, therefore they had nobody talking. That's how a fucking works. I knew beef. This is like podcast when I want to love it. Yeah, exactly. All right, it's not just you and your brother going, well, why don't we fix it? I'm not even gonna put God in.

I'm not gonna put God in. I got a bunch of alpha, I got this alpha male, this alpha female, then you Omega. No, she's an alpha male. I got a male. Guys with the L. Yeah. What was that toggle? Oh, the shitty podcast, what the fuck was five? She's caught. He's fat When it's not about your weight, she just said he caused me fat

Oh, yeah, but I mean he can because he's fat. We're fat. We can talk about your fat We roll I mean we roll in that fat circle. I will buy. Yeah, so talk about how you kill shoes Like how if you're on the show it'll die What show if I kill Sex drugs and rockers one show. What were the other one? Oh Kill dang cooks career Cook's career. I'm not gonna do it that.

I'm not gonna do it. Once you go in his movies, where is he now? Coincidence? I don't know. I was in one movie. Okay. No, I saw you in Amy Sheeher's movie. Yeah.

Wish she had now. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer.

I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I'm a career killer. I take out people's career I know Listen to your shit show. Of course not. Listen to my fucking show You're sensitive all of a sudden you're sensitive right? I'm very sensitive. We call the show sensitive Bobby two weeks later You come out with a show sensitive Bobby. There's no me. This is your show. That's fucked up Yeah, you're fucked up, but you're right, but you're fucked. Now listen Here's a deal. I did I Where's it? Where's this show?

Don't right now. Here's a deal. I always I always thought I I always thought I Kill swag like I kill you know when I when a festival has good stuff that they give I like I remember I would do I did the Aspen festival finally asthma asp aspen There goes literally smell fucking alcohol every Thursday night here so I I did fucking alcohol every Thursday night so I I did I did every time I do a festival the year before they give away computers and puffy culture the name I show up they have mittens in a hat yeah just for laughs used to give away great swag after they gave away maple syrup oh no fucking murder swag that's far now I am

a fucking mush when it comes to careers let Let me think about it. I mean, let's go through this. Yeah, think about that because it makes sense unless you want to bring up Ralphie May want to talk about I'm at the vaguer shooting. You want to bring that up too? We can talk about that. Listen, here's the deal. I bring okay, so we have a right, okay, uh, Louis tough crowd tough crowd is another one. I fuck sexy I'm not one. I'm not a Larry. I fucking yep. Yeah, what's another one? Jackie nurse Jackie's done right? Forget about that. Jesus. Weren't you a shitty cop or something? Where were you? Security. Have you ever settled down? Where are you? Settle down. Stop eating the mic too. I'm not eating I'm just you know. You will you will you will will. You will. You will. You will. You will.

Bobby, have you ever been in a season two of anything? Sex-trend round girl. Fuck really? I love that show by the way. Me too. I love it too. I thought it was a great fantastic. I was great on the show. I thought you were. The best drummer ever. I thought you were. I'm the world's shittiest drummer in the world. Look good to me. Yeah, well, I bought it. So you guys, one of the original, I'm really pumped out that you guys have fucking unveiled this. It's not awesome.

I'm fucking kryptonite to fucking TV shows. People's careers. Nobody's gonna work at me again. Fucking calling everybody's incredible. Think about it though. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's that working with people I don what that is. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is.

I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. You live in Philly. It should've been the Philly assholes. Not the Jersey jerks. We were all from Philly, really. You're all from Philly. Not Jersey jerks. We live in Jersey. It's a fucking, it's a branding. You lied.

I'm not, I'm trying to become just the jerks. We're just the jerks. Yeah, yeah. Okay, just the jerks. I'm trying to rebrand. I think you need to up the jerk part of your podcast. I agree. I really do.

Okay. I think, and you call me sensitive. Yeah. And I think you guys got up the jerk part of your podcast. I agree. I really do. Okay. I think, and you call me sensitive. Yeah. And I think you've got it's gotten sensitive over the years too. You think so? I think so and I'll tell you why. And it's the same reason why I got sensitive.

I had a kid. Well, I'm the only one with a kid. Hang on, let me, I got other stuff. Hang on, hang on tits. I have other things. I have other things. I think that as you get older you have more empathy for human beings. And the world, and as you're getting older and time is passing, you care more about things that you did before.

Clearly don't listen to our shots. False. Really. Why would that be false? That sounds... No, that's not true about us. They haven't evolved at all. No. No, it's annoying. I have a kid, so I've been a little more empathetic, I think. Right.

I've been divorced twice. To the same woman. To the same woman. This is fucking mind-boggling for me. Yes. Are you married a girl? I did. Then even last eight months, the first time.

And then you got married again, how long? That'd be barely made a year, the second time, but we had a kid before we got married Yeah, so you had the kid we had the kid what made you thought it would work How the fucking night did I ruin that too? Well, I just Indirectly yeah, what's that just careers not marriages? Yeah, yeah, I can't really blame you for that. That's just my stupidity What were the wedding presents like the second time around? Like secretly got me I secretly did we got married a beach and Florida

But it was like wine bottles and bullshit me and take him home We just left him at the Jerk Married the second time Facebook really and we wait to do a show and we sat around we're like so to Mark Are you married again? I'm never like yeah, they eat totally. You know why because he knows you guys are like you're an idiot Well, they don't they're not of them like her so I don't know her. Why would they like something? You divorced you got them to hate her. They didn't like her before the wedding. Oh really? The first one of the... Yeah, first.

Bob gave him a speech on how we should have married. Yeah, on the day of wedding. On the day of wedding. The day of the wedding? He said, listen, you need to be to think about this. And let's just go. Call cab, we can go. And I said, no, what are you?

That was the best man's speech. No, the best man's speech was a classic too. Let's get the fuck out of here. I was fantastic. I don't remember what he you? That was the best man speech. That was the best man speech with a classic too. Get the fuck out of here. I was fantastic. I don't remember what he said, but it was fantastic. But yeah, he gave me the speech before, listen, this is your chance to go. Really?

Let's do it. And I said no, man, we got a 60,000 dollar wedding. We just were putting on here. Oh, 60 grand. I didn't pay for it. Yeah, I did. I heard that. Oh, what a, there's no chance.

There's no big deal. There should be something in wedding a... There's no treasure. There's no big deal. There should be something wedding insurance. There are no... It doesn't work, guys. You just get half your money back. They should look at you and go, this isn't going to work. There. It's good at yeah.

They should have post-ated all their wedding checks. What was this? What was this peach on the next wedding? There wasn't any. Not the, you didn't know. No. I didn't want to sit the wedding, but I had to kid. I felt I had to be a good dad.

He was a year old. You know, get together and then should change again. And then you know. I tried to sit the wedding, but I had to kid. I felt I had to be a good dad. He was a year old, you know, get together and then should change again. And then you know, I tried to do the right thing. Your kid was bored premature. He was. He was. And, uh, and you, uh, that was a, that was a pretty, I don't say tragic, but it was traumatic, traumatic time.

Yeah. That's the word I would use. That's the tea word I was searching for. I couldn't find because I'm a fucking mousse, which even a word for the muff and it described perfectly fucking big muff and I was I mean I remember talking to you I would talk to you late at night and find out about the kid because the kid was in the hospital right right right that bonds people right well we actually bond it when you you had called me like one in the morning traveling somewhere because you would just found out your wife was pregnant and my wife was already

a few months pregnant and you were, you were probing me. What do I expect? Like she gonna be a bitch, you know, she gonna have swollen ankles. I forgot. You asked me all these questions that were, you know, it's milk gonna shoot out of her nipples. You were asking all these weird fucking questions. I'm not talking about us bonding you asshole.

Oh, I'm talking about you and your wife. We got bonded. There's no bonding with her. There was no bonding with her. I'm not talking about us bonding you asshole. I'm talking about you and your wife, we have a bonded. There's no bonding with her. There was no bonding with her. So I'm getting an emotional with me. I'm not like, hey, we bonded, was that, what? Was that what? We bonded.

We bonded. We didn't bond that night. I thought we did. Did we? Yeah, I think so. Maybe we bonded. You know what else to make fun of? I'm a fucking bonded.

I'm never bonded, but we bonded. I'm so glad that you're on a fucking downward slide in life. We bonded. My hair a fucking downward slide life You think so I think I'm good They also they also bust my balls about my love for you We have a star we do well The star fucker Star fucker

Tell me about hotel I'm friends with there boy band. I know I mean a I mean they know me your friends with a boy band. Yeah, why not I haven't listened they're not boys anymore Literally every seating hairlines in gray hair. I have I like boy bands. I don't know why I like boy bands. We know why I should I put it in my Tinder profile. What exactly? What exactly do you like about boy bands? Uh, I don't you know, I wish I was them all the pussy and stuff like that. Yeah, I wish I was them Yeah, yeah, the singing the power like that. Yeah, you have Right, you grab the mic for me. I literally just took it from them. Yeah, I'm kidding Oh, no, I'm fired. No, you're not fired either one. I literally just took it from him. Yeah, I'm kidding. Oh my gosh. No, I'm fired.

No, you're not fired. Either one I'm just saying. He's not talking anymore. I was joking with him, but I think he's. He's just not talking. He's just not talking. He's doing. No, I was just wanting to move.

He just did the way they dance. Yeah, a little dance. But yeah, I put it on my 10-tonner profile. Like boy bands. Wow, look. Everybody likes boy bands, but we don't like them enough to be friends with them. I'm a I take that back. I'm friends with Ace who from American Idol Ace. Oh, yeah, the day. Yeah, it does a place in Broadway, doesn't it? Yeah, friends with him. I asked him a lot. Do you? Yeah, well good. It's got nice hair, doesn't he? Honey, more. Cut it off. He cut it off. Wow

What kind of feedback do you get from that being on your Tinder profile? That's what it chicks use when they message me to be like, boy bands, huh? I'm like, yeah, who's your favorite? Ah, new kids on the block. And then we go into it. Okay.

And then when I finally get them in better something, then we roll plies. I put on some boys to man. Yeah, they'll put on new kids. That's three boys. And she'll be like, hey, can I put on new kids and boys and should like you know Hey, can I call you Donnie and I'm like yeah, sure. I call me Donnie You're a shitty boss an accent. You do the shitty boss an accent. It's a shit Donnie Walper

He's obsessed with them. Oh, I love Donnie Walper. Annie Donnie Joe John and Jordan, right? Is it recording? Oh man, bummer Technical difficulties. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. No, so What do you say for your pickup line with tender cuz I'm like really big up line? I listen, it's bullshit because Like they most of them say if you say hi, how are you? I'm not gonna answer and I'm like what else are you gonna say on pinder? It's bullshit Yeah, well she gonna say you're gonna call on some bullshit line. I always try to like whatever their description is or whatever

I try to say something. I try to like play around that but usually girls don't have the time or like that No, because they got a million people there that are Swiping right to them and then there's fat me that's swiping right and they're like, you know, right? I did a thing once where Me and my friends went on Tinder and I just swiped right to everyone for like an hour Yeah, and that's all I did and we wanted to see who got the most responses and I add within an hour like 187 people 187 times I did 187 times I did in an hour

Most girls with a fox and like a day was an Annabelle Chong remember she had the the world record at one point for like I don't know just stood out it was like 500 in a very small amount of time No, we had like but they only had like 250, so they had to like go back around and start tugging real. It was Houston, the porn star. The Houston 500. Edabelle had it first, I think. Oh, jeez.

I think you guys even know. Yeah, this is going to fucking feel like this is just scary. Yeah, but didn't take the deal to do like 200 at one time. It's just like, they had to like pack them on ice and shit. They're like ice down or cute, you have a couple hundred dudes. Mollin' it. Yeah. I mean, I don't care if you believe in religion or not.

You're not going to whatever heaven there is. You can let fucking 500 dudes plug you in an hour. I don't think Brad was part of her preparation. Yeah. God, thank you for everything. Help me take all these dicks today. Help me get this fucking record. All the guys, all right guys bring it in. Cheers.

I'm going to come greater. Come good, come quick. I can handle two on the property. It's a little tired at the end of the guy. What's the most you've had? In a day. Sex in one day? Yeah. I don't know, like, wait, of different texts?

You definitely would. There's a... There's definitely an S. Low ball six. No, I've never had more than two penises... ...different penises inside me in a day. How about at once? At once only one.

Only one time. Yeah. Oh, that's great. I only had one penis. How about at once? At once only one. Only one time. Yeah. Oh that's great. I only had one penis in my vagina at once. So you had two guys in one day? Yeah. What was that? I don't know.

When I was in high school I had like multiple boyfriends. Really? So when you went with a nurse, not bad? No. You're in high school. You never had two guys in one time? I have, but not in my vagina. Wait what?

So when was in your butt butt? No. I'm a virgin in my vagina Wait what so one was in your butt butt? No, I'm virgin in my butt. Are you really? Yeah Saving it you were talking about I haven't even had a pinky or lickage or anything No, I have completely virgin asshole. We're trying to talk I don't know I'm I'm terrified. I think I'm I don't want any parts of it Do you have anything down there like scary? No, but it just I Never Loss enough to stick anything inside some kind of anomaly I'm really as a guy ever like gone down to you and then decided to go a little further and what do you do?

No, it's like a conversation. I have beforehand usually what is it like like don't fucking go near my asshole Or I'll fucking lose my shit. I wait a second. So if I'm with you, that's what her tender profile actually Jersey jerks just keep that thumb to yourself Yeah, no, no like it's no no then. I can't even look down there. I just I don't I don't want to be took a shower together. And then you went right to the bed and he was eating you out and then he went down and took a couple of sweats.

I don't know. Maybe I don't know. I just it's I I have enough time teaching people out of figure out my vagina. Let alone what do I do? What is it? What does it like fucking hell raise your box? No, but I If someone's coming out, I'm gonna explain them what I want to do. Oh you tell guys what you want I always do, but like they don't ever I owe you you like a pamphlet bring it up It's what to expect

When he struggles to love I really think it's most men have no fucking idea what they're doing. Don't mind the penis. Just move it to the side. Most girls won't do that. Most girls will fucking... No, fuck that. They need to know. Well, most girls just get down there and they'll be like, yeah, yeah.

Oh, not so hard. And they fuck with you self-esteem because you think you're doing a good job. And you're like, and then like, stop the hurts. Like, fuck, I've been hurting you for the last eight minutes Yeah, I'm a fucking doing a tea thing, huh? We going down hurts when you lick a girl too hard some girl Not every girl's a says some girls like it to be bit sucked and whipped. Yep. I like so fast Like suck it. I like some suckage like I don't like any bit things I like anybody's bite my vagina. I'm upset about what is what is the key to making you have an orgasm

What is the main thing a guy that's To suck my clip suck it. Yeah, yeah, like a fucking pacifier And then never longer than five minutes. Oh, so yeah, it's a Thailand. I'm in five minutes I'm not doing around if I can't come in five minutes. I got to move on. I'm busy. I just want to thank you for the life of advice. This has been amazing so far. Appreciate it. No, this is great. I'm learning a lot here. Yeah, I don't like when anything lasts more than five minutes, be honest with you. Yeah, it pisses me off. Yeah, when sex is longer than five minutes, I get angry. This is the perfect female. Yeah, I know that's what I'm saying. I just hope this is true, like everywhere.

I like things the last five minutes. She's unique. Now, if me and you say me and you had sex at the windum, right? And with... With wind? With wind? Say me and you fool the rat. I went out of the pac, and then I rolled over

and you're a fucking belly, put a pillow onto your fucking bush, and started going at it. And then five minutes and I'm done. And then I'm like, where I could? Do you leave? Do we have to talk? Do you want to get out of there? Do you want to have a little chat?

You know, you're going to try to let a cigarette with my non-smoking room. You know, we don't have to fucking get through. No, I'm going to leave you. I'm going to leave because I'm going to want to cigarette. So you're going gonna leave because I'm gonna want to cigarette. I'm gonna come back. Oh, you're on forever. I love that. You know, he hasn't ever girlfriend. You find it attractive Nathan. Hi, Nathan. Hi, Nathan. How you doing? I find him attractive. Oh, yeah, you're good. No, that's not true.

You're tall. Yeah, tall, right? Yeah, That wasn't genuine. Yeah, but I don't think that was genuine, Missy. Right? Missy? Yeah, look, you were looking at him and not saying, didn't know you're quiet. I was talking about Ralphie. All right. Well anyways, she likes women too. You like women?

Yes. A lot. Yes. Better than guys? No. Because, well, it's hard to explain. It's not really. I'm talking to you.

Actually, I like women more than men. Oh, really? Yes. Why? When I masturbate, I think about women. I don't think about men. Ever. It might be hard.

She's our war. Oh, man. What do women do? They're just beautiful. And when you're masturbating. What do you mean? What do they do? What are they doing to you?

I watch porn. What are they doing to you when they masturbate? What are they, you're like, you're just going down on you? Oh, you know, you can't masturbate in your head. I don't usually. So you watch a porn. Yeah, I need like physicality. I love people kissing. I really, I people kiss you like kissing. Yeah, I need to see the end of now

I don't like any of the affection like the kissing. It's just not It's just like then tall cute little Jewish guy. He's murdered hookers. That's that. It's not like when they still have their eyes. I don't like it. I don't like the effect. But like if it's like a the porno, like you know,

that's like the whole point is just to like finish, get done with it, like the kissing, like I'll go like, watch a romantic comedy and see kissing there. For a porno, it's just like get this dummy The kissing makes it real When they passionately kiss I know that they're really fucking because when you kiss you can't kiss somebody You don't want to fuck when you fuck you can fuck somebody you don't want to fuck But you can't kiss somebody that you don't want to fuck. That's fucking true

you can't kiss somebody that you don't want to fuck. That's fucking true. Yeah, when they kiss. I don't know how I said it. Yeah. No, you're right now. I'm not. You're right. I'm right.

You can't. So when they kiss and I know that they're into it, they're into each other. They want to fuck each other because they're making out. There's something about that. But like I like kissing too. But actors are kissing in movies and stuff like. They want to fuck my friend. You think they want to fuck? Oh yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I thought they were just being professional. It was rate in fucking Hollywood is astronomical. Oh my god. Because the wife who over the fuck is home, you don't think that every time somebody fucking a guy from

Gardens in the galaxy right Chris Pratt. I love him and I love his wife and I love them together They broke up because somebody was doing something somewhere Hmm. He's in a space movie with what's your name? Zoe no So we sell that sell down in, no? In the space movie. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, so we sell the Sal Dano, sell that. No!

He was in the movie when they were on the ship. Guardian. No, let me finish the fight. Oh, that space check. No. The pink check. Guardian's in the galaxy. The girl plays the fucking...

Green check. The blue check in... Avatar. No, let me finish the fight avatar let me finish the fight we're on you know the underwear I have underwear on just check it the hottest thing you should have had guys jobs almost would be thinking

of just trying to sit over there for us more the girl that was played in in the X-Men she plays the young blue girl. Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt were in a movie where he was. This thing opened up early. His, you know, chamber, sleep chamber, and then he opened her up.

Oh yeah. You don't think that they had a fucking that movie. You don't think that was something there? Oh yeah. I always just thought it would be professional. You're blowing my mind right now. You think that it's their job not have a boner? I don't know, do they cut down there? Like it's just, what do they want?

No, I'm saying like when they're filming that, it's just fucking sexy. I'm not that you're on the dark right now. I'm like, crazy to see you. But you can hear me clearly. You're just a raspy, soft, broken fucking ass. Ha! Ha!

Ha! I... Ha! What did I ever yell at you? What? What? I'm kidding. Keep the mic.

I did date, you know, of course. It turned you on. Of course it does. And when you, and they're making up, they're kissing. And you know, man, I remember that movie, Two Girls and a Guy, Robert Downey Jr. Eight fucking, what's your name's asshole? I mean, that's love.

That's what you do. Yeah, that's what you do. We're trying to get her to do it. What? On the podcast. No, not on the podcast. We don't want to see that. We don't want to do it. What? On the podcast. No, not on the podcast. We don't want to see that. We don't want to do it.

We don't want to do it. Alright, so anyways, let's just try to just say, well, you know, and you, you're, where are you from originally? I'm from South Jersey. I started out doing comedy and filming though. You started out there, and you're from San Francisco. Okay. So the backstory is there.

You guys, the jerks, one of the original shows in the network is still going strong. Mm-hmm. And, you know you know I I've always loved you guys I've always called in I don't listen to the show at the time but I do every once in a while and I'm a big fan of you guys because you I just a bunch of good jerks just a bunch of assholes that don't care correct and Missy is the greatest fucking show. Thank you. I really do love you.

Thank you. I'm the show. Thank you. I feel like we should just put the mice down, let them talk. Yeah. We can't do anything. Are you nuts? Grab me on a second to get ratings.

What? People like I fucking. She won't show her boobs. She won't. I'm not. I'm not. Show boobs. No. I don't think you don't show her boob she won't Shoe boobs no Your boobs on the podcast. Yeah, why not why would she show our boobs? I don't know. I don't let's cleavage At least cleavage why because she's got nice cleavage

How do you people love that shit people love that should there was there always asking for it such a massage Mystic man, not me. I don't want to see it. Oh here we go. Not me, I don't wanna see it. Here we go. You do. I don't wanna see it, do not. You've got to tits out right now, you wouldn't look. I would look, yeah. Of course you would. Am I? Because I'm a man.

No, because you wanna see Missy's tits. You wanna see Missy's tits? Yes you do. I think you do. You really think I do? Yes, I think you do. On your phone. No.

Can you take my shoes? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, towel. No paper towel. Well, maybe if it was cheating, I'd do it. What? So on YKW did, I know it's sponsored time, but I gotta tell you right now, these people are my favorite unbelievable sponsor. They support my show, support them. Deepdiscount.com, it's a loaded website

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Just go to ziprecuder.com slash what dude? That ziprecuder.com slash what dude? One more time, try it for free. Zip Recuder.com slash what dude? Go there right now. All right, so let's switch gears right now. I do, we're here tonight. I was home.

I mean, this podcast is going to probably get serious now a little bit, but it's, which is fine with me. You know, I was in the room today and an alert came on my phone that Ralphie Mae died at 45. And, you know, it's a sad thing, Ralphie was a great guy. He was a great comic.

He was a great guy. Beyond the comedy, he was a great guy. He was a great comic. He was a great guy. Beyond the comedy, he was a great guy, but he was also a father. And, you know, that just kills me. It breaks my heart because it bothers me too. Some guy on Twitter immediately had to be, you know, oh, now you have the fatest guy in comedy. Watch this.

Which is kind of funny. It's tough. I almost tried not to laugh right now, hearing it allowed. Because I'm not, fluffy's way bigger than me. But it's scary, man. I think about it all the time. I think about, you know, the food, I think about being,

now I started working out again. I started going to the time. I think about, you know, the food, I think about being, now I started working out again, I started going to the gym, I started lifting weights, you know, I'm fucking, I have hummus and a fucking chicken salad over there. I got protein, I'm back in the game because I look at my kid and I'm like, there's no way I want him to not have me around and it was my choice.

Right, right. Cause that, you know, I mean look, Ralphie, but I also, people say, people said, you know, you know, he could have got thin, he could have stopped whatever he was using, whatever the fuck he was doing. You know, yeah, he could. But people don't understand how hard it is. People don't understand what depression is. He just got divorced.

When you're a big guy, even this big, it only feeds it. It only feeds it. Depression, the sadness. Being on the road, man. Being out there on the fucking road, fish rock road at tonight about Ralphie. It's sad, you guys, you comics out there on the road,

fucking keep your shit together, because it's tough out there. Being out here at a different fucking place every weekend, sleeping in hotels, being by yourself, it's tough. It's tough. I don't know if people can understand it. And when you get into the depression, when you go so high up and you come down, it's just a tough thing.

I was talking to my dad today actually because he was calling me up and I was alone all day today. It wasn't like doing pretty much shit, right? Like in a coffee shop, writing jokes, whatever. But like after a few hours, you just kind of go like, almost just like psycho, because you're, I mean, I literally don't know anyone in Philly. So I'm just alone at a coffee shop and I call my dad. And I was like, yeah, like, it's cool.

This town is cool. But like, I don't know, I'm like bummed out. And then he like was just like, well, isn't that just like the life of a comic, like super like nonchalantly, you know? And that was like tough to just like swallow. All right, we'll go to lunch tomorrow. Thank you. No, but I thought the lunch will go to lunch.

I did ask you. I asked you what you knew. No, no, no, no, now we're definitely doing it. Yeah, no. I'll meet you for lunch. I'll take you to lunch. We'll go to the fucking Liberty Bell. Yeah.

We'll fucking have a mini date. Nice mandate. So you can feel good. But isn't it kind of scary that even like in a cool city though? You can feel that way, but that's the problem. You don't have to feel that way. You said you have a choice, right? You have a choice right today. I fucking went out and I went I went and got lunch by myself, but I made a couple phone calls. I connected with my kid I had to watch them play soccer. I made a connection to my wife

We had a good conversation and then I went and I sat and I got a cigar and I had to do some work And I did that and then I checked out some shit and then I'm like I'm gonna go home and take a nap And I'm gonna work out fuck you. I'm working out. Right. It's a choice. Yeah, but it's a hard choice to make And it's you know,, you know, I mean, I, you guys are civilians, I don't know. We don't know. We, we don't know what you're going through. I get depressed because I'm divorced.

The father of one, I don't see my kid all of them. That's why I'm depressed. I don't track where I go. I'm on a comic, you know, I don't know what you go through. I get to get this. Yeah, because I get bored. And when I get bored and when I have idle time, I have to fill it with things.

And I'll read books and do whatever. Like TV can't even numb it anymore. It has to be something more extreme. I think there's a high and a low to be in a comic. It like the further along, you're way further along than I am, but like the high of coming off stage and then suddenly being alone is weird. Yeah, I look look at this oh my god the light is on what happened with that. That my dad is running out. The Venmo dad. Oh my god push the light.

It's still working. I think that was a timer. That way. I pushed aside. Yeah. No, push it, hold it. No, hold it. Yeah. Yeah, it's back. How much time? One more. Yeah. One more time. Oh, shit, it's dead.

Oh, you know what? There we go. Yeah, okay, cool. Thanks. There you go. I went back. Nice. Bobby, I might not disrespect whatsoever.

I'm sorry. I jumped the gun on and bring him up. I was a dick. Yeah, it did tie into what we're talking about, but it did. Back then it did. Oh my god. Oh, fuck it. But, wait a minute. Don't I have a charger? Doesn't that something have a charger? No. I don't have a charger. Look at that.

Fuck me. Oh god. This podcast is just, all right, keep talking. Go ahead. That was good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's just something about the one in somebody that does what you do and lives this life because this is not an easy life. You make a lot of sacrifices doing this. I can have a normal job. And don't have anything

near as secure as my friends that do. And I did a memorial to a comic, Damon Rozier. Did you know Damon, the guy in the, he was in a wheelchair? It was a comic, yeah. He got buried this week and did a memorial to him right and It fucked me up man like we weren't best friends by any stretch, but I got really I got really hard I got to know about Ralphie and Honestly, I thought about two people myself because I'm not the healthiest picture and I thought a Bobby And I'm like Jesus Christ like we and I thought a Bobby and I'm like Jesus Christ we really need to take our health into consideration we have kids

he's got kids so I freaked out today so I got all you know anxiety ridden today like damn I'm not it want to eat anything because I just felt like I'm next I'm gonna get a heart attack I'm gonna have a heart attack next and then I worry about my overweight friends you know not just Bobby but I'm not get a heart attack. I'm gonna have a heart attack next. And then I worry about my overweight friends You know, not just Bobby, but I'm not even on my overweight friends So Bobby, can you see with that light at all? Yeah, I got it. I got it. Yeah, I mean, that's the first thing I came through my mind is is our health, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's pretty scary Pretty scary. I know I got to lose weight, but it's fucking hard. It is hard. It's hard scary. Pretty scary. I know I gotta lose weight, but it's fucking hard.

It is hard, it's hard for dude, it's depression, through everyday life. You know? We need my phone. We need my phone here. Yeah, yeah dude. My shit's almost dead, Nathan, you have a phone? Flashlight on.

There you go. Hey man, look at that, you just got to... That's right. I hope this ends the shittiest potty gas you've ever done. It's like just on May, right? Is it? That sucks. I feel like the last time we're on this show was a shitty podcast.

I think we're the podcast killer. The last time we're on, it was in the infancy days of, you know what, dude, podcast. Mine's dying. I don't think I have a flashlight. With the club head light. Yeah, we went on Bobby's podcast, me and Fabio, which was the other guy. We were missing two guys, and we drove all the way up to New York,

got stopped by the cops in the middle of, I don't know what, we turned out on one way street, and six cop cars with dogs swarmed us. It was finally at the Bobby's house, and he's got his, another commentator he's doing a show at Joe DeRosa. Yeah, yeah. That's right, that would show. Yeah, all you did, yeah, so we, because show with Joe the Rosa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right. That would show. Yeah, I did. Yeah. So we because he's from the area. Yeah. So we we we got there and then Barry talked about our show. It was all about Joe, you know, Joe just took hijacked the show. Yeah. We go all in New York for yeah, you know, we call it ticket. We call it ticket, you know, all that stuff. So yeah, we believe maybe we are on the podcast killers. But it, I Ralphie Maything is, is, uh, fucked me up today. More so because of, you know, I know how he died.

Yeah. You know, like the weight thing and, and I thought about him, we had a nice lunch yesterday. Mm-hmm. We picked out, and I didn't feel so good about doing that. Yeah, it's a fucking sad thing that happened.

And I fucking, you know, go back in the game, guys. Look at that. I have this other light I didn't bring. I apologize for that. Everybody watching, I apologize. We're Mickey rigging this out here. This is the most polite way I've ever heard of

rigging something. I mean, Mickey rigging. Yeah, I guess. We're in Philly. So, you know, and it's important, you know, I feel, you know, I was never best friends or Ralphie, man. But anytime I saw him, the sweetest guy in the world, and that's one thing that everybody

says about him. I know that Bert and all the LA guys were really close. I know Mike Caldde, who I love as a great friend of mine, was very close. We were just talking about Ralphie. He and Mike are big guys. They're big guys. And we were just like, look man, I was very close. We were just talking about Ralphie. He gave me a mic, a big guys. We were big guys. And we were just like, look man, I was like,

how's Ralphie, you know? Because he's so close with him. And he's sad, he's depressed, he's just getting divorced. And I couldn't imagine getting divorced. I couldn't imagine, I know, man. Try it, try it, please. Well, but you have a kid, but you have to go to to see your kid. Drive an hour, yeah, each way.

It's just fucking crazy. Depressing. It's depressing. You want to want to fat. But here's the thing though, is that Ralphie, let's, let me come on, Ralphie was beyond, yeah. Absolutely. We're fat, and yeah yeah I have to lose weight you

do too absolutely yeah feeling yep you know but you know it's talking to Mike and we both we both were like do we got to get our shit together we can't you can't just eat yourself that's why food man food leads to everything else you get so fat that you can't come back. Why not use drugs? Why not drink? What else is, if that's not cutting it, because at some point pussy becomes, at least when I was in shape, when I was a young comic, I could, you know, play that whole game with girls after the show, and chase that. That was my drug. And then when you have to stop that

because you get married and you have a kid and you're older, it's like, you know, my wife doesn't understand depression. Go out and make the money, bring it home so we can enjoy ourselves, you know what I mean? And that's basically the mentality I have now. It's like I'm working out here to get home so that I can hang out with my kid and my wife and go fucking apple picking.

What do we do? Go help my, you know, those moments, I figured out, and not to just yammer on because I tend to do that, I know before you fucking right of the review. Well, I'm just fucking y Yammer and I'm not a fucking Yammer. I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm not the fucking Yammer and I'm that up. And I forget what who said it, maybe we're wrong or something. You have to learn to be in the pain. Yeah, you have to learn to be in the pain. And deal with the pain and not fucking kill it, not try to squelch it, put it out, you know, and not feel it, feel the pain, go through it. And I kind of learned this from my kid too, you know, it's like when I say no to him

I took his iPad away the other night and he cried and then he did something else and I go now go to your room And he didn't want to go to his room because it was you know He usually watches a movie and at night. I was like go to your room. Not angry. Not fuck you just go to your room And he went and cried and cried. And my wife was like, be. I was like, he has to go through this. He has to cry, feel sad, scream, beg. He's got to go through the whole thing, get mad,

and then cry again, and then come out and go. And still not get it. And understand that you don't, that's the best thing I can do for him. You gotta be mindful. You gotta be mindful of your emotions. Yeah, you have to, you know, like you today, be in sad, you know, what the fuck?

What is this? You're probably excited to get the gig. Probably this is gonna be great. I'm working with the great Robert Kelly. Absolutely, that's exactly what I said this morning. This morning I said. When you were coming here and then when you get it, you realize, oh shit, this is a fucking shit business man.

Yeah. You know? It's just like, you know, it's highs and lows. It's, you wait all day for the show, you know, and so it's like how do you keep yourself preoccupied? But then it's like I think it's also just important just to like be in a state where you're like all right like this is how I'm feeling like that's fine like embrace it, you know like accept it and how do you handle it? Yeah, it's hard though because you know I had to get out I was actually I couldn't wait till after the show Right because I was I just want to get where I like to eat all that I had to get out of that habit Because I was in a habit like oh after the second show was done and

Thank God. Yeah, that's like Bobby. You got to stop that You got to enjoy the show You got to fucking look forward you gotta stop that. You gotta enjoy the show. You gotta fucking look forward to going out there. You gotta look forward, you are blessed. How do you handle it when you're like, sometimes you're not in the best mood and it's like an hour before showtime and you know you have to do like an hour. You know what I mean? Like man, sometimes I, you know, I mean, sometimes I'll fucking just not, I'll just sit in it, and fucking be sad.

You know, I used to jerk off, I used to eat. No, but like, because no, but those are the things you do. Okay. I'll fucking eat a, I'll order pizza to room service. I will be happier shit, because it's like a hooker coming. It's like, I can't wait for that door to knock, and they open it up, and the tray comes in, and I get the TV, and I'm'm oh my god and then I get me my underwear and I eat it all. It's just so good. And then I the movies on and as soon as it's done I'm like

my back there. Does it all go away though the moment you're on stage? What? Well yeah, it absolutely goes away. Right. But it's right there when you're done. Yeah. You know, you have to make you know, I don't know man, it's right there when you're done. Yeah. You know, you have to make, you know, I don't know, man, it's just sad because now we're going to have to sit here and go wonder why or what anybody could have done and nobody could have done anything. Yeah, I mean, I feel like the one thing that's going to be uplifting is when you hear comics talk about their friend. And that was, that's what was so amazing about the memorial that I did for Damon, it was on Monday, that it was just like,

that guy, you know, he was an inspirational dude, he did comedy from a wheelchair, he touched every person that he came in touch in contact with, you know, like it was, even if, like whatever it was, it was like when you saw this dude doing what we do, and he needed two fucking big dudes to come with him and lift him onto the stage, like, you know, that guy a little bit, but like everybody was inspired by that guy, and I feel like this story's

that you're gonna come out, it makes it more tragic in a sense when you hear about how awesome somebody was the Paso Young, but like there's something to it that like this life that we live does bring joy to other people. Yeah, man, it does, but it's just, you know, Ralphie was 45. Way too young. Way too young. You know, it's a wake-up call, man. Yeah. You know, it's a wake up call man. We're dying from booze, drugs and food.

And it's just that's the way it is. You can't fucking go out there and drink in the morning and at night and after the show, for fucking 20 years and not having fucking fuck your body up. You know what I mean? And in this business, there's the people that are up there who have all the fucking money and, you know, they can never worry about cash and can work when they want to,

but then there's most of us who have to do this for a fucking job. This is my job. I don't have a choice. A lot of this shit. You know, a lot of us have to fucking come out of it because we have to. I have a kid, I have a mortgage, I have a house, I have bills. This is my job. And I don't want to be away from my kid. I want to be home. More than I want to be on the road.

So that makes me sad. You know, so you have to fucking work that shit out. Figure it out. And this is my life, and, you know, and, you know, like it's hard though, like all fucking week, I've been, you know, eating right, ugh, my wife at night, I get like a gram cracker. Well, she's been fucking banana bread, and I'm like, ugh, I got a gram crack. It's hard.

Yeah. Now I'm on the road. It's hard not to go get a fucking Tony looks. Right. It's really hard. I gotta have hummus over there. Hummus and chicken. I'm gonna go back to my room.

And it's hard not to eat at all. I want to eat it all, but I'm gonna have a couple things and go to fuck the bed. You know, it's, it's, I gotta do it. It's an opportunity to look at the big picture though. You know, like, okay, at that moment, that's something you're craving, but it's gotta feel good that you know, like, okay, at that moment, that's something you're craving, but it's got to feel good that you're also like

making strides, like that's got to be a good feeling. It's the funny thing is that when you start taking care of yourself, you start, you feel good again. Right. There are things that you can feel good about. Yeah. You know, there are, you can, if you go to the gym, like last week I went to the gym they had rubber bands

I just went on YouTube and found rubber band workouts, right and I felt good Yeah, I lose anyway not one outs for sure, but I still something about it I know what the fuck it is. I'm sure some asshole that can explain it It's the endorphins that are released in your foot. I don't know whatever the fucking Podcast that talked about this and had an expert. I don't know, whatever the fucking podcast that talked about this and had an expert on, I don't know, that's not this podcast. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I went to the doctors, I had fatty liver, and my spleen is enlarged. Like no prostate issues or anything like that. I know right now.

Sleep apnea. I do not. I went for all that shit. I'm very lucky right now. But it's coming. You can prevent it, man. You just gotta have routines instead. All this shit is preventable.

Of course. Yeah. Is that a word? Preventable, yeah. Yeah, good. Yeah. Is that a word? Preventable? Yeah. Yeah. She said yeah. I have apnea because I'm fat. It's not loud. Stop breathing. And I have prostate issues.

You do? Yeah. What's wrong with your prostate? You know, sometimes you lose that the stream. What do you mean the stream? The stream, you know, when you take a piss, it's not there. It's kind of just tribbles. Yeah, I've had that at a young age. Yeah, I had that too like not as much now, but like I'm good now, but now that I started like working out and yeah Eating better when I was eating like shit. I couldn't I was my My piss would it would take me fucking 20 minutes to pitch go to doctor for that. I did not know. I just ate right You didn't go to you didn't get your prostate check. I did not yet tonight at 40

They told me 50 they changed. They get a put your fat, but you're fat Like you're fat. That's why I got it check why it's figures in the Zass all time I've got I like three Bobby. Did you ever try three times 12 steps steps it's 12 steps stuff for food I never did it for food yeah I mean I'm sure we both know people that have that have done that and I mean it's it's pretty hard core yeah like you got to call your sponsor and tell them exactly what you're gonna eat that day but yeah I mean I. Yeah, I mean, I read a book about, it was called like, America anonymous about people with like 10 different kinds

of addicts that use the steps for different stuff. The only ones that I felt for at the end were food addicts because you don't have to gamble. You don't have to do meth, you don't have to do steroids, you don't have to drink alcohol, you have to eat. Yeah. And like, if that's your shit. I think you don't have to do steroids, you don't have to drink alcohol, you have to eat. Yeah. And like, if that's your shit. I like to eat like shit.

No, but I mean, if your, you know, addiction is addiction, it lights up a part of your brain. Yes, yes, you don't have it. Like, why? Yeah, I mean, I'm recovering. Yeah, but whatever. I still, I always looked at it like I had to do drugs. Yeah.

Just like I had to eat. You recovering? I feel like I'm always recovering recovering to be honest with you. I slip up I love cocaine. Yeah, I love cocaine and I'll answer that for you Bobby. No It just gets me really yeah The other is a cheap. No, it's expensive. It still is. Yeah, like I went through 80 bucks at cocaine in a few hours. Oh yeah. Really?

Was that at that festival? And that was the first time I had done it in almost six or seven years. And I went through it that way. Was that at the festival? Yeah. Like I love cocaine. Tell him how you pay for it. Through Venmo.

Like an ad. What do you mean? Which is the note that you leave? She had a Venmo account and I was like, oh, do further through Venmo. Like an ad. What do you mean? What's the note that you're in? She had a Venmo account and I was like, oh, do you take Venmo? And she was like, yes, and I was like, fuck it. I'm like, oh, I might drugs through Venmo. You might drugs to your phone now?

Yeah. A lot has happened since you got clean, Bobby. Oh my god. See, now that they have Uber Eats, you can just use my phone to get whatever the fuck I want. Like, I've literally used Uber Uber eats to get devil dicks. Yeah, it's amazing. All these guys sucking dick for coke. They could have been moated the whole time. I also downloaded a nap from meditation today. I downloaded a nap a couple weeks ago for, like how to eat, you know, loot. You know what I mean? So it's, it's out there to,

you know, that's why technology, either better you or will fucking kill you. Well, listen, at the end of the day, it's all about self-control. You know what I mean? It's all about like you have to eat, yes, but you don't have to eat it like an insult. I know. We like kings, like, you have to make better decisions. You know, we ain't good. We did it. Good. It was all good food. It was good better decisions. Yeah, you only good. We did eat good It was all good food because he was like you know slopton sauce last time I was here. We went to fucking

Reading terminal. Oh, we went everywhere. We have so many fucking sandwiches. Yeah, so much pork so much shit Yesterday was like deal. We're going to get Chinese food. We got Really healthy soup. We got I got buck choi with mushrooms We got a chicken dish. And then the actual wings, we got wings. But they came fried with bread. And I was like, fuck it, I'm not eating it. Yeah, eating it.

So what made you be like, fuck it, I'm not eating it. Because I've made that decision right now where I'm like, I'm done. Yeah. I'm not going to do this anymore. But that's what I was running around my kid in the backyard the other day. And it was just like, I'm fucked gonna do this anymore. And that was the other day. But that was yesterday. I was running around with my kid in the backyard the other day and it was just like, I'm fucked. Right.

I'm fucked. I'm, I'm, you know, I always, I'm gonna, I'm gonna run around with my kid. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go in the woods with my kid. I'm gonna hiking with my kid. I'm gonna fucking do a lot of shit with my kid. I'm not gonna do it in this body. I'm done.

And I don't care about all these, you know, the internet, you can't, so I don't read comments. I don't care. You know, it's like I love people that love me and I wanna respond to that, but I can't, because I can't read the bad shit either. And you say sensitive Bob.

I've gotten very sensitive over the years because of your kid. Because of my, I'm a kid. I love my life for the first time. I fucking love my life that I created. My whole life was given to me before this stepfiles and foster them and fucking all the shit that I didn't have a really choice.

I hated it. Fucking hate. I created the life I always wanted for myself. And now I have it. I'm gonna fucking get diabetes or have a heart attack or whatever the fuck's gonna happen to me? I mean look, I can do all this shit getting the shape and then fucking have a bus hit me. We all know that. So it's, I have the choices, the choices are. And I just have to learn how to be all right with feeling shitty and stop looking at everybody.

Yeah, I look at people like, they got this and they got that, no, that's like, fucking all. You gave me that speech yesterday. Don't worry about what someone says doing with their show. Where about your fucking show? Yeah. And that's good advice. I don't think so to become somebody else's.

Right, right. Like comparing yourself to another person is a disservice to yourself. Well, you know, like, you know, I have people, you know, because what happens is is that I'll get comments from people like your show isn't as good as that. My, you know, you know what dude isn't as good as this show. Yeah. Oh, it's not as good as that my well you know what dude isn't as good as this show yeah or it's not as good as you really can't control

that go like yourself yeah I'm gonna do it this for you right I did this for fucking 20 people at one point right that's correct and I did it because I love doing it and my fans of the shit my fans all came out tonight and I don't care if it's fucking 20 fans it's 20 fans listening to this. If I get so many great emails from people that I love my show and think it's funny and also, you know, because they get help from it. I have comics in my show and they just,

they do it, it wasn't funny or so. It's like shut the fuck up, it doesn't have to be funny. It's not for you. It's not, it doesn't have to be nice face, fucking tits. That's fun, but you can have these conversations too All the time, yeah, that's like cathartic What? cathartic?

spell it C-A-C-A-R-C-T-I-C cathartic She right, I have nothing now. I don't know, it's nothing. It's TT. I didn't say TT. I said T-O I'm thinking Titi, sorry That's so fine. We all go back to our titties all the time. I have to, it's at a brain. Smart? That don't go crazy.

Don't get crazy. Smart? I'm smart. You're unique. All right. Why do you think you're smart? Because I'm smart, I don't think I'm stupid. Anyway, I shape a form. I like you so much. Thank you

Honey, I love you too Even though you're cheating on him. I'm not she is cheating. You think so? She I don't think she's cheating on me now He's got like seven times on stage tonight. I think she cheated on me There's no way that she's never cheated on me in the whole time that we've known each other. What do you know what I mean? Like before you were married, you think she's snuck on in before the finish line kind of thing. Sniggy dig somewhere in her fucking past. Yeah. Not all girls. I want to talk about that shit. They don't cheat. I know. You're right. Yeah.

Like, I'm on all jokes inside seriously. I would just love to someday when we're older Sit down and have her tell me And I can tell that most of the point I jerk off to is some wife get cut Guys get cut right? All you wife cooking again Might throw it off again towards the end of my first divorce, I thought she was cheating. So I went through the, I went through the laundry and checked her pain.

Underwear, so yeah. You smelled their panties. Not looking for jizz, yeah. For jizz on her panties. I don't know, maybe maybe. That's what she's on the, she's on the belt. She's not taste like my jizz. Like how do you smell it? film that tastes like my gizz like

My smells like strawberries and banana you should have smelled their You should have went through her phone at that point sex top Yeah, you know at that point. Yeah, of course. I was checking it inside. Just go down under the second she gets home Not she's No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I That is lousy fucking bell going off We gotta get a know oh listen. I've heard you think yeah, I've heard yeah, of course Yeah, you're in love you got a house you got the life we're gonna have a kid. Oh, it's gonna be great It's gonna be great and she does is suck your dick. I don't know if she was a polish I'll be repulsed by me at that point? I'm throwing a dick. Nothing's by me. Doesn't have a dog leg in or something? No, no, I'm a circumstance. I mean, it's nice. It looks good. I mean, I've been told it's not exactly I want to get back in the chain, because I feel bad for my wife. If my wife became me, I'd be like, fuck. Yeah, I'd be bummed.

How long did it take you to get sober when you tried? When you start trying. Oh wow. I was drinking from the, I started drinking I was 10. That's great. Yeah, Jesus. So, there was a lot of jail and a lot of arrests and a lot of tragic shit happened from 13 to 15.

So, I mean, you know, with food, nobody cares. Nobody. Right, but I think it's that same kind of struggle though. None of my friends care from fact. all my friends make fat jokes about me. I go on fucking Open it the gym and it's a fat fat fat of course low hanging fruit. Well, they know you have low hanging fruit But it's also just you know, they don't care if I fucking if I die if I you know give it I don't I don't Really not they look at It's not that they don't care. I'm gonna. I'll take that back. It's that

It's my it's like dude get you shit together. Yeah, you know what I mean? And then you know it is and it's sad It's like if I was a heronatic would you sit there make fun fun of me if I was a heronatic? Right. If I was fucking sitting there, no would you be like, uh, you know, would you? Probably Yeah, my favorite. Hey, Slippy Look at already on Howard. I mean anybody but that's kind of what I was getting at though It's like it's not a will power thing if you're if you're addicted to something. It's not your will It's not a will power thing and that's that's why I brought up the 12 step thing,

because you have to find a way. You know, I believe in that. Yeah. Well, you have to ask for help too. You know, but no. Absolutely. It's the hardest thing. No, I had to talk with Irish affair,

helped me out a lot. Okay. We had a really good talk about it. He actually fucking lied. Why? You don't like Irish affair? I don't know, but I know he was talking shit on the times I one day.

Remember I called in, I called his trash people? He's one of the funniest times I've ever had. Yeah, dickhead. He's Charlie, he said, the time people had trash people. Now they garbage people. Yeah. And he called them, he's trying to defend them. But I couldn't hear him because they didn't have the studio 100% set up yet.

But Ari kept triggering them to piss him off. Yeah. He snapped because I want you to come down to South Phalia, a fucking drag head and he goes exactly garbage people. What? Yeah. Yeah. Case in point.

Case in point. This fucking dumb nunsie on losing his cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool.

I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I didn't lose my cool. I'm gonna fuck you up. Over the phone. Fucking garbage people. Oh, fucking cat and fist you. You still hate him? No, I'm just fucking in now. I'm not gonna see you there. No, no, no, I'm only joking. I don't like Kevin Brennan, that's what I don't like. Because I don't like him.

I just don't like him. Whatever. The guy said, I don't like that. The guy said, harp on it too much. But I just don't like the guy. I think he's a whiny, I think he's not funny. A whiny what? A whiny prick.

Okay. Okay. And I don't like what he did with you and Rob Sprant, so. Do anything to us. Well, you know, he was a pain in the ass. He's a pain in the ass, but this is what I mean. It doesn't matter. You have to be politically correct.

I don't. He's a prick. I'm not, I'm not listening. I do not have to have to be pleased a dick. I've never been politically correct with him I've told him to his face shut his fucking dumb mouth But you know, I've always liked Kevin. I'm the one who was like we should do a pot I like brilliant brilliant. It was it was a great concept and then he fucked it up greedy because he's great You know, we he wanted something else. We can give it to him. There you go Fuck me and then the come me a guy's who a friend's of ours. Well, they can't we'll take him and you know, he's your problem Well, you know

He's yours really Fucking one of these countless anyway. Oh shit Talent this the eye towels can hold a grudge buddy Mako fucking fight him. Yeah Not this age I got a kid I can't be going to jail you think he's gonna fight. Oh, coward like a little bitch Now I'm not about fighting. Mums is fighting words though You know you won't fight look at how he coward to the studio for that one time that one dude two two times Oh Jimmy Martin Franco from the hole. Oh a one and then and then that black dude

I don't even know who that was Jimmy Martinez like no Jimmy yeah yeah no I'm looking for the exits when he snapped he pushed he pushed scat grab it he said move bitch and sputter

that's funny he was right and then Kevin says he want to do a satiety. What? I don't see you just used the wrong word. That was the greatest episode. I love that episode. I happen to hate the outdoors. He could be the best guy in the world.

I don't know him, but he was a prick to my boy. So, you know, whatever. Look man, life short as we know, we're're gonna wrap this up. Yeah, camera's gonna die I think yeah, but we that camera might be dead. You listen man Yes, you know, you know what dude. I'm on the road I'm doing these on the road while I'm away The next one will be live in the studio And I like doing these out here because I get people that I can't get

I want to come to studio. We want to we want to bring all of us, the whole team to the studio. Yeah, that'd be great. We'll get the Jersey jerks in the Rykeye studio. Yeah, man. I love doing the studio, but this is nice. I like doing it out here too. Yeah. How'd you guys join me for this?

So we'll go through real quick with what you can give your plugs now, if you can. Again, sorry about earlier. I'll tell you this story later. Everything is at Richie Redding and check out. You right, you right. Check out. I just posted, I created a game show called Ratchet Astribia and I shot 13 episodes of it. What's that? Your iPhone. No, it's like legit. I started a production company with a couple other guys It's called not TV. Yeah, and we're just making web-based content all yeah all five and under stuff. What's up? You pay money for what if I gave you an idea and you shot it do I get money or do I have to wait on the back end

We would pay for it That means that goes I don't want your ideas. We're making our own shit right now Well, I mean immediately what we're doing is we have two shows up and running. We're going to get another two up. But the game show got me kicked out of Esquire Network that we pitched it all over. Pitched it all over Hollywood.

And Esquire in particular, we get to the final round. It's going great. And then the final round is called, guess that race. That I read you a true crime, and you have to the final round. It's going great. And then the final round is called guess that race That I read you a true crime and you have to guess the race of the guy did it and The chick that was the head of that scribe is like no And we're like you don't want to play this game. She's like it's unknown And she just opened the door and was like Well, you can't do that. But on the street

It's the perfect game to play on the street. It's five minutes long People can win as many as six dollars in the street, it's the perfect game to play on the street. It's five minutes long. People can win as many as $6 in my money. And it's really fun and funny. So, yeah. Check it out. What are you going to Nathan? NathanDeBeep.com.

Got a podcast. We have to solve this voice. I mean, literally. The sounds of me here. I mean, it sounds good, though. We tested it. You got rapiiiize, too. I got rapiiiize.

Yeah, just do it. People love my eyes. You got rapiiiize. Damn. rapie eyes. Yeah, just do it. People love my eyes. You got rapie eyes. Damn. My eyes. Who said that? Some people. But it's a good smile though.

Did that woman in the ditch before he killed her? Fucking parents don't count. Loving your eyes, honey. It's good eyes. Sorry, girls, I hold down. Nice brown eyes. Sorry. No, it's all good.

NathanTheBeab.com podcast. Be happy, whatever whatever the fuck that means and I'll be at UCB East. No, you're gonna lie fat that too. Sorry, dude. I'm sorry. No, that's the last part of the party That's the whole name of be happy whatever the fuck that means yeah, yeah, that's why I like the title to be honest But we're we're we're shopping on that Go ahead my go Be happy whatever the what We're workshopping on that. Go ahead, Maka. No, ain't T-Shirt. I don't know. Be happy whatever the what? It's just like, you know what's funny is that one time.

Board already. One time a host. One time a host like, like, said it. Board already, that's the name of this podcast. One time a host said like, board Nathan, not glad. So the host was like, all right guys, his podcast, they just be happy. Whatever the fuck that, I can't tell. No, because he would, he guys, his podcast, they need me. Whatever the fuck that, alright, can't talk.

No, cause he would, you bring me up and be like, alright, his podcast call it, it's be happy whatever the fuck that means. And people would think he's shitting on the podcast. He's talking. Okay. I have to do this again. Yeah, I got it. I can't even hear you.

Those trams. I'm done dude, Marco go ahead. Uh, with the Jersey jerks, minus two two of course we're on ride camp one funny ones one of them Oh, I don't I beg yeah, I beg for that Yeah, so we do a live on Thursday nights. We're one of first first pockets do it live really In my opinion, I mean I know you started podcasting. I started live. Yeah. Alright. Amers? No, no, no, no. Cambers. No, just live.

Alright. No, we were the first podcast on Ryecast to do a lot. Yeah, on Ryecast, yeah. Alright. But you can find us all the way to the bottom of the... Oh my god. Go to podcast, go all the way to bottom. We're there.

And we're happy to be there. It's not our fault. It's not your fault. Listen, man, we would love for you to be the most popular podcast. I'm sorry that there's a guy that doesn't exist is the number one podcast on our network. Literally, I'm sorry. Oh yeah.

Chip, fucking blue you guys out of the blue. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, some guys not real literally blows you away. I'm busy taking away miss. How about that though? He comes to my fucking hotel. I go, dude, hey, you want to get lunch? I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I did radio all morning. Drove all night to get there.

I'm like, yeah, we'll go get lunch. Of course, I'll go with Marco. I'm like, I'll go because I like Marco a lot. Let's go get lunch. I come out of his sitting in the chair. Snapchat me as I get out of the elevator. I'm like, like what the fuck then we're walking and he's holding the camera you snapchat me you fuck the fuck is this shit Then he has to throw a dig he's like I'm like really snapchat. We're your TMZ goes TMZ does famous people Which is a funny line

It's a funny line when I was points on that and annoyed me because I'm like fucking go fuck yourself Yeah, sure I threw his shirt to give me a jersey jerk shirt. I threw it right in the street Walked away I'm going back to my room I'm fucking my hand and I want to fucking run after them run get the shirt in the street I ran out of the run after him. I don't run get the shirt in the street. Then run after me. He's putting like snoopy ears on you. Fucking on the side of me.

Dude, look, I'm sorry, man. I was like, I just shed the fuck up. And he yelled at me and there's hundreds of people on the sidewalk walking by. Are you gonna act like a grown man? Yeah, we both have kids. We're in our fucking forties. But he's look like a fucking snapchat in me.

This neighborhood look like a pair fight I got you like to fucking idiot. Oh, yeah It's like good. I'm down. We're gonna lunch. We're gonna have a man having lunch and with kids Okay, I have a little settle down. We talked about life. It was good. We have exactly. I know what to expect now Did you guys buy I expect you to be I didn't know you fucking held me in such high regard. You know sensitive Bobby. I'm not sensitive I'm a little fucking man. You're sensitive buddy. You don't videotape your friends You know snapchat people everybody snapchats everybody not unwillingly. Oh, well you told me I stopped all right good I love you too anyway. we are the Jersey jerks. Missy and Marko we

also have Fabio and Chris but you can check us out live every Thursday night at 8 on ridecans.com. We're just the the downloaders iTunes. Yeah go to the iTunes, downless like us. We'll head that way. Will you line about the Chubby Guy thing? No. Really? No they think I hate fat people. She doesn't like... I think she just doesn't like us. I said to you. They think I actually do with people of weight.

She does. People of weight, POWs. It's a new thing. P-O-Dumps. People weight up still on that. That's not a new thing. I am not fat. I hear.

P-O-Dop. I'm a person of weight god, maybe you're sick of weight of personal weight I love people of weight told you all right listen you guys are the best Thank you for watching this again. We'll be back live in the studio next week. And Ralphie Mae, please send your love to his family and his kids. And we lost another one. And it's a sad fucking day in comedy. It really just makes me sad. He was a really great guy and a funny guy. You know, I don't know. I don't know. You know, it's just sucks. So, and that's it. I want to thank all the people that come up to the shows, the YKW fans. I love you for listening. Spread the word of the show and all the the premium members

you guys are the best. We got some some really great stuff We got a new show coming to the network. I'm not telling you I Asked at the other day and you lied to me. I did fucking liar. We got a new show coming to the network We have great things happen you guys are the best fans in the world Let me tell you something here's the deal deal, blueaprin.com, this October, celebrating 50th year anniversary, bringing back, it's top 20 recipes from throughout the past five years. As picked by you, the Blueaprin community. What? Woo, your favorite Blueaprin recipes are back on the menu

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