Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Lots and Lots of Cum

Episode Date: December 8, 2014

Robert is joined by Wil Sylvince, Liz Miele, Dave Smith, Jonathan Randell, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be see. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. YKWD with our Riotcast family are doing a gift drive for the first time.

Gifts donated from you will go to two different groups of kids, NAC in New York and Alliance House in Massachusetts. And our good friends at Tweet.io really stepped up. They're offering a 33% off promo and will match every set of earbuds for everyone's soul. So go to twic.io.com and use promo code YKWDGIFT when checking out. And this offer only lasts until December 15th. For more info on the GIFT drive and donating gifts, go to riotcast.com. There's a page set up with details on NAC and Alliance House along with a wish list and where to send the gifts.

So please help us make this Christmas a little brighter for these kids. Thanks so much. And happy holidays from the YKWD podcast and the Riotcast family. Hey, what's going on? When you're ready to buy a car, true car is changing car buying forever. Yes, true car helps car buyers get rid of the fear that they might overpay. Every day true car users receive negotiation-free guaranteed savings. And true car users save an average of 3,221 bucks off the MSRP. When you're ready to buy a car, just follow these three easy steps. First, download the TrueCar mobile app or go to TrueCar.com to find out what others paid for the car you want.

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time, save money and never overpay. To see how much you can save on the car you want simply download the true car mobile app or visit truecar.com today. I'm not gonna get you to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. Wait, I was trying to keep it like a comic-cane. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. It's rubber-killing. You know what? I'm not gonna get you to the funniest, no more directions.

But I love doing it. I'm not gonna get you to the funniest, I'm not gonna get you to the funniest. But I love doing it. Boy casted. I can't. Shine. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Alright, check it out. We are back live at the, uh, riot cast studios. I mean, I would say the WIKEWD Studios, but it's the Ryke Studios.

We are four shows taping here now. Beautiful Mandy Statmeller is taping here now along with the Louis J. Gomez and the Emery Fisting, the most underrated fucking ever. The co-host today. Are you the co-host of Hammer Fisting? Yeah. Wow, that's good, finally. It's something, I guess. Wow. What's Hammer Fisting? Exactly. host of hammer fisting yeah wow that's good finally it's something I guess wow um what's ammo fist exactly exactly what would it be a breakout podcast star like I said I could be

you you want to be you really want to be a star I don't want to be a star I just like to pay my rent and not be scared every month I'll do whatever it takes to not be scared every month all right well hang on before she's coming out of the get what the Flock's a You Nothing but shitty jokes since you came in well, that's a good advice. Well, can you will can you shout the fuck up for five seconds? I have I have a fucking I have things I have to get out first I have to set up the show first. You can't go into just sucking dick

The female first you can't go into just sucking dick fucking conversation the female person should suck dick five seconds and I was a backline said penis you we have out right now they get you like you should suck dick to fuck what the fuck you cause be chill first of all I want to say thank you to all the fans that went out and went to robbercallylive.com slash Gifts and bought a shitload of gifts for kids and foster home and group homes this year for the YKWD gift drive I don't clap but one of my staples We um you guys are amazing.

I know Shannon went out and bought some. A lot of people, it didn't tell me in the package who it was, exactly some of them would just, you know, whatever addresses. But we got a lot of gifts so far. Right now, if you haven't bought gifts for these kids, I wanna explain to you, it's our gift drive that we're doing. It's the first annual YKWD gift drive.

Go to riotcast.com right now. The link is right on the front page, or you can go to robbercallylive.com, forward slash gifts. And you can buy a gift. Just read the page. All these gifts go to kids who are in foster homes and group homes and there's nothing worse than waking up on Christmas and not being at your house,

not having your family and not having gifts as a kid. It sucks. And it's all the way from little kids to teenage boys and girls. So, and it couldn't be easier. We made it so simple. Go to that page and it tells you what gifts to buy for what kids.

And you go to our Amazon link and you buy them and put the address we give you in there and it sends it right to the address and then we're gonna disperse them. We're gonna give them to, it goes to a NAC group in New York and a Lion's House, which is NFI Shelter Care in Massachusetts. I'm driving the gifts up there myself.

We're gonna drop them off. And if you wanna make it even easier, Tweet Audio, every pair of headphones you buy at 33% off, okay? If you use the code word YKWDGift, they match it. So I'm buying 12 pair headphones for Christmas, for all my nieces and nephews,

they're all gonna get headphones, 33% off, which is fucking nothing. It's like eight bucks for a pair of headphones, they're great headphones, and they're gonna match headphones for everyone we buy. So go there, there's two ways you can buy. Go to the Riotcast, go to the YKWD gift page gift page and buy a gift on Amazon or go to tweaked audio by Her headphones please tweaked

tweaked TW E E K E D right tweaked and what's that? I don't fucking know it's on the page Ryecast.com you mother fucker, you're really gonna just throw it all. That was such a beautiful ad. It was like amazing. Go there right now, please help these kids out.

Spread the word, tell your friends, it's spend 10 bucks and buy a kid a gift. Please, don't forget the teenage boys. They always get fucking dropped out. Everybody wants to buy a gift for a fucking two-year-old because it's easy. Go to the teenage boys and make sure they get shit because I was one of those assholes in a foster

home with a fucking guest jacket that didn't fit. Remember the guest when it was the actual question mark and the upside down triangle? No. Did you kind of love it though? Oh, it's the best thing ever. Skinny Bob, background skinny Bob. We got a great show. Go around the room and introduce everybody, Scopo. Ah, well I'm here. Maybe I want to know. No one, already cool. That's what we got. Dave Smith, co-hosting a hammer fisting.

You can be a hammer fisting credit. That's it, right big time right there. Hammer fisting, what a clock guess you have. I'm also on Legion of Skanks with Gomez and Okerson, and I do my own podcast called part of the problem. Oh, you're like two behind Lewiswood podcast. Two behind Lewis. I think I might be beating Lewis because I'm on the Lewis's too. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Well, this could get boring.

Couldn't it? No. Well, I give you 10 hours of mediocre talking a week. Alright, so. And we got back by popular demand. Will Sylvens. You? Everybody loves Will. He gets the most tweets.

Every time the show comes in on Monday, he gets the most tweets of everybody. Is it good or bad? Um, that's good. They love you, dude. Everybody loves you. I don't know, man. I'm not going to fucking do. I'm going to go and get them and copy them and cut and paste and read them.

That's not Dupu here for. His name is Dipu and cut and paste and read them. That's not Dupu here for. His name is Dupu and it's not Dupu and that's not what he's here for. He's our technical advisor. Will you please fix your mic? Will you sit up in the chair so people can see you on the fuck? Yeah, but you're on the fuck.

Yeah, exactly. What do you get real tweak my audio microphones? They don't make, that doesn't exist. Not even they don't make microphones. Will Sylvets is here. Go ahead. I mean, yeah, our first time guest, Jonathan Randall, very funny comedian. Oh, thanks so much. Hang it out.

Yep. He worked with Bobby at the stress factor, I believe. Yeah, we did the stress factor together. What was that? That was a while ago, it was like, you know, I think May. Yeah, May have last year, you know, fucking stress. Just do 20 minutes. I'm gonna do 45 and for the Robert.

Did I got bumped at that club once when I was like, you know, a few years ago, like where I was like, you know, nowhere. I'm like, now, and I got bumped for Vinnie to try to make crank phone calls and no one answered. So I just got bumped for like a phone to run. That's eight minutes. Here's the thing, Vinnie's heart is in the red place.

I think that would describe most people's careers. He's like, he's hard as in the right place. No, I love Vinnie, by the way. All right, great. Let's not get carried away. No, I do. I love Vinnie's fucking great. No, I love Vinnie too.

He's fucking, he's a great guy. I love these a great family guy. And he's a club owner and a comic which we all love those No, it's a great of course it is fucking amazing club. Yeah, his family's cool his daughters are cool sons cool I love that place, but and I love when he does 45 in front of you After the and then he brings the fucking middle act to do another 20 and there's a host It's his club box. Yeah, I'm club then you can do 45. No, that's no, that's not how it works You become a headliner and then you're supposed to fucking go and you know kind of cater to you a little bit

That's not how it works. That's supposed to get your that's not all the business works as I'm supposed to get my own club And then I get treated the way no, I'm supposed to fucking to do know that Chris rock had to buy HBO before they have it on that That's true. I'm sorry. I take that back that Chris rock had to buy HBO before they have that's true I'm sorry. I take that back you have to get your own network That's what I do anyways next final comedian over here. Yes, nearly very another first timer. Yay very funny comedian You have a CD coming out right? Yeah, um soon. I don't know when this is coming out. It's coming out Monday What's this is coming out Monday? Yeah? My silly you were already be out. It's already at when is it coming out tomorrow. Oh shit. Yeah, you should

But last week I mean they didn't text me actually they did I was busy. I'm like super who's day Chris is me. Oh, um, but I just had a head of the what's the CD call emotionally exhausting? Really who named you that the boyfriend did who named that? People I didn't animated web series and the people the animators that worked for me It was a conversation, but it's both boyfriends and people that know me right people have to spend a lot of time with me Really what I've worked with you at uncle Vinnie's yeah, yeah, we did that fucking yeah, he stopped booking me why? Um, this is the way I see he's super Italian and he doesn't book a lot of females So I figured he just loved that I was Italian and I just kind of am a pistol right go there, but um yeah Yeah, yeah come with me next time. Well invite me. I'm sorry. I will they're fun

They're actually pretty fun and I'm from Jersey and they have the best canolies But he loved me and he used to book me to feature three times a year It actually really helped I would just stay with my parents. I liked it But I opened, huh? And the blinds work? No, that's a pity. No, this is a, by the shore. It's a point pleasant.

Point pleasant, yeah, it's Uncle Vinnie's. Uncle Vinnie's. It's a fucking little, it's a what he's like. It's a shithole in the middle of nowhere. It's not a shithole. It's a restaurant. It pays decent and it's close to my parents and it works.

It's a restaurant in the middle of nowhere in point pleasant. But it's a Paxit out. He Paxit out, he's really nice. If you're any, if you're a comic at all, you'll fucking do fine. I don't want to make a fat joke about you justifying a restaurant gig. Like, you're like, it's a restaurant, but I'm telling you that. Like, it's cool the way they do it. Well, I'm mad that you had to get the poovles to a fat joke.

Well, that's how I slide it in I want to come back He didn't get approval. He fucking passively aggressive Apparently you haven't had a girlfriend in a while Fucking cock sucker. I see exactly what he did fucking try to slip one by me He did the fact joke and got away and didn't get any fuck you cuz nothing is by Bobby and got away and didn't get any fuck you. Cause nothing gets by Bobby. She probably learned his name. Yeah, I know you are. That was the sake of the podcast.

I always thought you were talking a day for a second. You were winning money or face. You know, funny it was if you said FATO at that point. If you had FATO. Anyways, yeah, this charity thing that I'm doing is, it's, I've always wanted to do a charity, you know what I mean? But I've never been in my head big enough,

or you know, I never had, I don't know, it was weird. I never knew what the fuck I wanted to do. You know, I know cancer right now. There's all these, you could do it on anything, of course, but I always wanted it to feel, feel something about it, You know what I mean? And then my wife brought up this foster home thing. I was like, oh my God, that's fucking perfect.

Like I felt it, like I want to do that. Because I remember how shitty it was. And I got all these gifts in the mail. And I'm like, these are great gifts. You got gifts personally? No, for the kids. But I got all this shit in the mail and I'm like these a great like you know some from axe Well, no, I'm sitting on hold on do you got paying bad picture? We make a guess for the what kids get

How is he a good guess? Anybody's name right He came in here and showed everybody his abs like six times. How do you like a person like? Anybody's name right? Everyone loves him. I don't know. He came in here and showed everybody his abs like six times. How do you like a person like that? I got a little off. My view now, I start my sugar cleanser. Me too.

Me too. I was getting mad carbs. Yeah. This is April. Yeah, me too. I had to put a stop to it. Well, I'm not kidding man. I was supposed to, I was, I was kidding, man. I was supposed to I was are you shut your face. I was supposed to go to I was going to the gym today. I'm

hiring a trainer. I'm done. It's a wrap. I'll train you. Shut your mouth. I'm crossing exercises. No, because you're late every time you need to hire a trainer for the kitchen is not the gym. The gym that gets you fat. Not going to the gym again. fat. Don't you sell mouth got you fat Yeah, but you have to hit it from both ways. No, no, no, no, no, you and you know better because he's he'd be bent down this path And he did not work he got to control his mouth that mouth is a mess But then then you can say it's actually emotions that mouth is I'm I'm rock you should do airplane flying them out I'm right here. I love it. That is out. I'm right. You're not a lover.

That is the worst fucking thing I've ever heard in a bs. How did you just, what are you offended for so many people on so many levels? Listen to me, you fucking asshole. I'm trying to open up to you. I'm trying to say I'm fucking at my bottom. And you call me, you say I got two planes flying in my fucking mouth. You fucking in shapeation Wait, so like who's who's the terrorist in that analogy?

Bobby's now. I'm the I'm the No, he's the twin towers He's flying to he's flying multiple airplanes in the back So like the bad food is the Telling you know what I tell him. What are you trying to do? Listen, here's what I'm trying to say to you. Is that, and this is fucking true, dude. This fucking TV show, and I know this isn't excuse, you think.

But it's really not. The role was for a fat guy. I'm not even kidding. All this stuff is about, you know, the drummer BamBam got fat. That was, he got fat. That was me. He got old. He became a drug user. He's out of his mind.

This guy was the shit. And now he's just a fucking session guitar player. And BamBam got fat. So, you know, I had to stay fat. You know what I mean? Like I couldn't be in shape for this role. All the jokes, all a lot of the stuff on the show is about it's fat fucking shit, you know what I mean?

By the show, what never can you still stayed fat. No dude, the show, what are you talking about? You shot him, he's telling me before the show was over. I lost 45, remember I last year? You look good. Dude, I lost fucking 45 pounds, I went on no sugar, no grains, and we shot the pile, and then they were like, listen, slow down, stop, because the scripts, all then they were like, listen, slow down, stop.

Because the scripts all kinda do this, we'd have to change everything around. And when I started, Leary went, listen, while we're shooting this, you can live a craft service. I don't give a shit if I see you, I wanna see you with a donut in your fucking hand. But what would you wanna get that from? Hang on, hang on.

I don't want you to be unhealthy. Hang on, you fucking cock Let me finish But it no but but my I didn't have to go this far is what I'm saying I could have stopped at a certain point and been TV fat This is hard to control that it's hot. I'm a fucking addict and I when someone says hey Eat whatever the fuck you want for the next fucking three months. I Did it's like you know, I mean telling a heron addict dude

You can do heroin for three months because this movie that you're doing you're a heron addict in it So feel free to use and then get so look man. It is what it is my Tour de rich no the guy no Vinny total rich the guy that you playing no, oh my guy is called bam bam bam Yeah, is there a scene where he get his fat ass together And stuff well, I'm I'm at the end. It's pretty funny that he cares about me Enough to write in at the end that I'm gonna I have to kind of get my shit together I the stuff that happens that I can't reveal but yeah next I as soon as this is done Actually right now I'm gonna get a trainer and I'm going I'm done. I'm fucking done dude. I'm really done

Here's the progression of this fat or this is my six fat and here's the progression I was trying to quit smoking I was in shape couldn't quit smoking finally did I couldn't do the both like the diet and the thing So I said fuck food. I need to quit cigarettes because it's killing me. And I said, I'm gonna just get fat. I got fat, then my wife got pregnant, which is what we wanted, right? And that year was a crazy fucking year. Then we had the baby, okay?

And then I booked this gig, and now here we are, okay? I need to get my shit together, that's it. Do you read anything about like well power or habits? Like, to me when I hear all this stuff, like I agree with him, you do have to eat healthier, you do have to work out, all those things have to come together. But it's almost if you think about like AA or any other stuff, it comes from a place.

I realize that I bingee when I'm stressed and when I'm scared or when I'm angry, but I also do the same thing when I'm excited and I'm happy about something. And if you learn about your habits and where these things come from, you can kind of be your own trainer. I gave up. No, I gave up. I know what I did.

I didn't, I didn't, I gave up on because I always... You give up all the time. I always have something addictive for me, like whether it be smoking or fucking or, you know, fucking hookers or fucking Food or you know what I mean? I always have something evil lurking because it's like because we're like comics But we live in this fucking time when everyone's like I was I was at a carolens Yeah, that fucking forget who was saying this I think it was Phil Hanley

But he was saying he was working with some 80s comic and they were like oh, so it was what clubs do you work? And he was like a carolens and he's telling me the story in Caroline's in the back. And she's like, oh, man, that green when we used to do so much blow back there. And he's like, I don't know. Really, my friends order salads. Yeah. If I like no more drugs.

We're supposed to just now kill ourselves. Now, yeah, if you smoke a cigarette and you're not like, wait, you better be a pretty big headliner or they're gonna be like, come on, dude. It's fucking weird, man. I mean mean this is the last thing that I have this it's over. I'm done I can't I can't do it anymore. I can't fucking eat like this anymore. And here's the thing. I love food I love I love it Bobby love to know how I love it Bobby loves to another level Bobby like What that's because you were poor

You lived in Haiti and they would have stolen from you You were the fact-kitted monster ball Please I don't know if you can say Yeah, cold turkey doesn't work for most people. I'm sorry. Did you say cold turkey doesn't work? Going out. Oh, not eating cold turkey.

Okay. Oh yeah, not even in your bed. Because I eat my turkey out. I was gonna say. Within the gravy, not in the microwave, it drives the turkey out. Can you get out the front cell for a second? Whoa, okay, you're right. Wow.

Okay. Cold turkey doesn't work because when you try to go cold turkey. Yeah, you just it's unrealistic Wean yourself off, huh and we're good things I said that correct I just think it's different for different people do it is This is a sex fat. Yes, I know so we should probably learn by that, but it'll be his I'm saying the only thing I've ever caught the test for is that.

Can I say something, dude? Can I say something, dude? I'm a, I'm a, thank you. I'm afraid this may sound, I know this is a cop out and I know people go fuck you and only fat fucking motherfuckers will be like, I get that, but I feel like, you know, if I get in shape again, I'm afraid that I'm a,

you're gonna leave your wife. No, I'm afraid. I'm afraid, like I'm afraid of those situations. I don't, chicks don't come up to me right now. You know, you have to, I'm a fetish. You have to be into this to wanna fuck me. Do you understand? Like a chick, there's no chick coming up to me anymore

going, oh, after the show. They come up to go, we're a big fan, you know, you want to get to my screen? I brought you fucking cupcakes. You know what I mean? They do bring in cupcakes a lot. So, The Nabelers.

Y'all killing Bobby, stop bringing them cupcakes, y'all killing them. So listen, here's the thing, is that half of me is like, you know, it's like if I get in a shape again, and I'm fucking out in the road, and all of a sudden, it's like, those days are back. And I get scared of those fuckers.

Because I'm very happy right now. You say nothing, what's back? Like if a fucking chick comes up and is like, hey, what are you doing? But you have checks and balances. Bob, you're a dictum, don't want them. You have checks and balances. You bring somebody that entertains you or takes care of you

when you're, you know what I mean? You can put yourself in Citizens that when that comes you're absolutely right listen. I understand it's I understand it's a fucking excuse Yeah, yeah, just my fuck them My dick works by the way you fucking asshole being very hurtful tonight No, I get it. I get it's all an excuse. I, I get all that fucking Anthony Robin shit. I've been in the program, I've been off drugs for 30 fucking years, I get it. I am not done with food.

See that's what I'm saying. It's so much to me. To me it's more about that than it is about cleaning or going cold turkey or whatever. I'm just saying I quit cigarettes cold turkey. Only thing I've ever quit successful in my life. I did too. And it's just because I was ready. There's no other way to say it. I was just done. I was cigarette's cold turkey. Only thing I've ever quit successful in my life. I did too. And it's just because I was ready. There's no other way to say it.

I was just done. I started talking to the guys again. Well, can I just say something though? I found this fucking place. I've been driving by this place near my house. It says cigars. Just random, like just a little crappy store front says cigars.

I stopped in there the other day. I walk upstairs. It's a man club it's a fucking man club like almost like no like 50 style like no you can join for a certain amount of month okay it's a cigar club but you can join for a certain amount and be a member and you get a code for the front door You can go 24 fucking hours a day and do what and smoke cigars watch TV play cards You can do that to house, huh? Yeah, you I get a fucking 18 month-year-old child at my house

Can I really do that at my house? Downstairs outside for the door downstairs outside in front of my door. Where is that again? How do I get there? You fucking mook. I don't fucking have a basement, and I don't have an attic. I have a contemporary mid-century ranch.

But now you have a men's club. It's right down the street, dude. I fucking join, man. Why? We can all go hang on man I'll tell you why I think I'm switching fucking addictions. I think I'm actually saying okay I'm getting ready to drop this food thing. I'm gonna go work the fuck out. I need this little thing to

Keep me my fucking evil occupied. It's like to take the edge off thing. You know that's it Yeah, like something and just like, get the, why don't you get out? Being healthy, be you addiction. Yeah, that works. That's fun. Thank you. I mean, I, I, I'm off sugar, gluten, dairy, eggs,

penis, corn. I mean, I did break up my boyfriend, but yeah, I'm off a lot of things right now. So, technically, he's, again, Will is nailing it. Yeah, no, I'm off everything. I'm off everything. He's back on track. But it's it's it's fucking hard and you have to find other ways. Like, that's why I said, yeah, that's why you say when you're off gluten, you need the penis more than I completely agree. What do you enjoy? Nothing. I'm really sad right now. But what

I'm saying is that I find other ways to take care of myself. Like what? I mean, for me, I'm 29. How old are you? 36. Really? Jesus Christ, dude. But I really pick it up with the prayer. I know, it's not. It's a place. No, I'm kidding.

I'm putting me on the spot and making me feel bad about myself. No, you're doing fine, dude. You're doing fine. Everybody knows who you are. Yes, you're so bad. No. Oh.

What, how old are you? I'm 31. 31. How old are you, Will? I'm 88. How old are you I'm 31 31 how old do you will I'm 88 you how old you will 88 will how old do you 88? Well, can I say how old is he look at my how old is he's definitely in his 40s? I'm in the 40 to my butt days this week. We do a common Happy birthday December 6th. What do we get you like a fish? What do we get you? I love fish fish is good Fish is good fish. Yeah, good to make a threes look at that guy. He loves it

It's a motherfucker man food is the bitch for me. It's always been my always Oh, man, you grab control everything else in your life. Why you can't grab control of this? Oh my god Does this 50 year old have to keep yelling? I'll figure that in the next few decades, like you did, I don't know. Look, you naturally skinny, so you just talking shit. I was 220 pounds. How about that?

I was 220. Were you real? You were fat kid? I was a fat, you wanna see a picture? I love to see a picture. I don't remember you being fat, I only ate it all the time. I know, I know.

I know, I know. Everybody calm down. I've seen it. I've never not seen a meeting almonds. I'll tell you that much. Fucking almonds. You always I'm always let me tell you something. How the fuck? How do you? Fuck almonds man. I also say I'll say this I like a cashew, but you your your taste buds change But here's a thing

Listen, I know I've been skinny five times and I've been not just in shape Well, you know the last time I got into shape. I got fucking a six pack. I was shredded, okay? Yeah, was that that was four years five years ago Nine just yeah, whatever it was. I don't care. What does that mean? I remember 2009. I don't remember you dude. I got fucking pictures man You can go on the internet and Google it, okay? So you guys down you got a six pack. I was I was a fucking six pack, dude I was fucking 20 right here. It was impressive. I gotta say it is I 20 I give it up to It's just a mother fucker though and look at this is the time of year black

This is that in there. They did you make me about it by the way? What's up with that to me? I just have to go for a walk. It's definitely different I mean literally he must they have like faster metabolism To do is take a mother fuck I want to I have to say. That's what I'm saying. I want to say, ooh, that came off. I want to say something though. Since I moved out of the city, it's affected me too, because I'm driving everywhere now. And we have a house with a fridge and cabinets

and all this space. And you know what I mean? It's like my wife cooks now. She has a beautiful new kitchen that we, so it's a different lifestyle that I've never lived where, you know, this, I don't act like when I lived in the city, I had to take the train, I had to go to the subway, I had a fucking walk.

I had to do all this shit. We were a single couple, there wasn't a lot of shit in the house. She cooked a lot and it was pretty much, you know, meat, vegetables, and whatever, you know what I mean? So it's a different, my lifestyle has become this fucking suburbian fat bald guy with husband, father, lifestyle which I kinda sat right into, you know what I mean? I have to now break free of this shit and go back to the gym, get a trainer, and start absolutely stopping in carbs and sugar, go back to no gym, get a trainer, and start absolutely stopping carbs and sugar.

Go back to no sugar, no grins. But you said, what she said, your taste palette has to change. She didn't say that. You have to allow your taste. She said my taste buds. Taste buds, taste palette, same thing. When you take out, you got to let it change. So you can allow the change, it's coming in.

But it is, you're acting like it's not the hardest thing. No, no, no, no, it really is. I can't, you've been on drugs for how long? Cause the drugs aren't in your life. Like, yeah, people do it, but it's not the same thing. No, no, no, it really is. I can't, you've been on drugs for how long? Cause drugs aren't in your life. Like, get the people to do it, but it's not the same as I have to eat every day. I know fool this hard, not saying it's not hard, because unlike drugs, you never have to say life ever again,

but food, you gotta see commercials, you gotta hang out with your friends, you gotta hang out with your friends. You gotta go somewhere and you can't order. You gotta, you gotta have grease on down your arm. It's hard. You are weird. Chris, you got your you got to have grease signed down your arm. It's hard. You are weird. Chris, you got your arm.

Yeah, when you eat a burger. But like, I've become that annoying person that has to know what's in everything, and then you have to be like, hey, I want this, but not this, this, this, this, this, I don't do that shit. Yeah, but you feel like a loser? I mean, I don't even have the money to do have this shit. So it's like, it's, it's not, and then I eat it,

and I don't even want to be eating it. It's fucking hard on every single level. And you're acting like he should just get his life together I mean that that's not how it works. It's stronger than what he think he is. I believe everybody. I'm right here by the way I feel like he's actually like you're dead. I'm right here. Can I just something though? Can I say something though? What he's doing is doing it from I get it. I've done that Allying doesn't help Alright listen shut your face I've got it Fucking your city is absolutely right

What's the name of it again? I'm mostly exhausted Oh God you really it's I know you're on my side But I gotta tell you Shut you I know sweetie But listen

I'm sorry I have a talent in me too I have too much talent Listen I'm sorry sweetie No I understand what he's doing though And I've done it too When I was in shape I would fucking, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Everything is doing fucking good. It's doable, but notice how it's not maintainable. That's the real Why? Because you got to change your lifestyle. Because not even think of changing lifestyle, but I'm telling you it is It is maintainable. You're saying that it's not emotional or it doesn't have to but it is emotional

Think of every time that you've made the switch. Maybe Every comeback to the dance TV. Go fuck yourself, but it is I like her. I like her. But what I'm saying is that it's rooted in something and maybe this time it wasn't rooted in something because of the movie or the show you're doing, but everything else, there's a reason you switch. There's a reason you say fuck it. Is a reason you go down.

Man, it's just fat. Oh fuck you. Fuck all of you. I'm scared. Ha! It's such a dead hatch. This is why I love comedians. It's just ruthless Just I mean this beautiful fucking girl is given this emotional speech

I know she's right on every level this fat guy and there's just you guys are all fucking just staring waiting I have that in the pocket for like a full minute Well, she's making my head. I was like she's making good points though I'm still I'm still going with her. Ah What would you find the most challenging for you to do to not fucking eating do you understand? Here's a thing you could eat Bobby, huh? You could eat I know I know just eat the white things I know but I was wrong with you eat the white things because my my anxiety Get full of the white shit. No screaming into the microphone won't help he said eat the mic Get full of the white shit. Just screaming into the microphone won't help.

He said eat the mic. That's not the same. Listen, listen, what I, what I'm, I love you so much, bro. I hope you die. What I'm saying is, is that my anxiety, okay, my thing. Some people you smoke weed, right? You get anxious, you smoke weed right you gonna anxious you smoke weed

You know you get anxious. What do you do? You smoke weed. Yeah, what do you do when you get anxious? I binge eat you binge eat okay, so you know It's it's my anxiety From success or failure or whatever the fuck it is from shows I I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, and now it's enhanced because I'm not this fucking struggling comic that can't pay as rent. Yeah, it sucks. Okay, I have money and I can fucking buy whatever I want.

So it's, it's a different lifestyle that my personality, it's, I have it, I'm not, it's not good for me. I'm the guy who fucking, you know, when I was going, you know, gig to gig and pay him my rent and had to eat fucking noodles once a day and, you know, I had to walk home some nights because I didn't have fucking, I kept in shape. Now, later in life, this, this, it's a little more relaxed. It's a little, you know, we have dinner, we have breakfast,

we have lunch, it's a weird fucking thing that I have to learn now to hit this bottom and say, fuck, I can't do this anymore. And I have to learn how to fucking take this new life and sacrifice. I don't wanna fucking sacrifice. I hate sacrificing. I hate not having.

I don't have my whole fucking life. I don't think any of us. We all fucking We're in this business because we we want something that we can't fucking get and we're gonna get it no matter what And we see all these other fucking people get it and we see people trying to get it and not and we're just Striving to get shit because we we're fucking needy. We're fucking needy Eagle maniacs man that with inferior complexes and we want shit We're fucking needy. We're fucking needy, egomaniacs man, that with inferiority complexes and we want shit, and we want it to make us feel good,

and we want accolades, and we want laughs, and we want fame, and we want money, and we want our fear to go away, you know? And sometimes fucking food does that. Food makes you feel good sometimes. I remember when I quit cigarettes, like the thing that was very strange to me that was just like overwhelming

was like this kind of like just like depressing emptiness about it. It was just like, oh, but that's my thing. Like I'm cigarette got. Like I do this. This is just like an emptiness of what do I do with this time now? Like now I'm just sitting here like, okay, what like.

Yeah, like what am I gonna do? Yeah, it's what am I gonna do when? What else is there and I you're right? I have to find something else You know what I mean? It's a car club. I'm joined I joined man. I'm a fucking man. I was addicted to video games and food and And laziness I was addicted to laziness if you believe that shit. Yeah, no, I do lazynesses. Yeah, video games and food One of the I would not doing video games or food I was being lazy one of the greatest things Critry's ever said I tell can I can I do my can I do my um you want to rent? I'm sorry. I ran It you read it's everybody can do my monologue the camera on will

No go back on me first You did a 20-minute monologue. I just did a a 20-minute model that I know I'm gonna get fucking cheating So this is to you go fuck yourself and now let's give will silvence his own model actually is a PowerPoint presentation for his rant So we'll go ahead. It's all just slides of his stomach This is abs. You can show the abs like six times anyway. Go ahead. At the four grade. I want to write to the fifth grade It's like oh you know you got help back That's not like really a bragging story Fuck is down everyone knows they don't have grades in Haiti

They have one big shocker sales They have one big shocker sales anyway I was I played video game you get to go to the grade with a tarp and I ate every anything I you know I thought I was doing I thought I because I was not eating pork Oh the bomb Dana. I thought not eating pork. Oh, I was doing so with my life and I did not Do nothing but just you're in fifth grade What do you understand? I was talking about the fourth to fifth grade my fucker when he did Turn the cameras on me. Oh, okay. Damn Dave. I'm sorry. I didn't really I look man. It's a really bad rant You know his rant oh my guys into what the my rank listen me rants first of all rants think unless you're fucking

your dog stand hope or, uh, or somebody else. Fuck. That's a good rant right there. No, who is Shapiro? Shapiro does great rants. He's funny. You like Rick Shapiro? Dude, he's, I love Rick Shapiro. I love him, dude. He's one of my favorite people to be around. Dude, he came in and read, um, for this cartoon that me and Lewis wrote. And he read for it. Wait a minute. How come I didn't read for a part? I don't know. I'm sure we would love to have you. What were we going to have? You guys are going to sell a fucking show and you never have me read for a part. It's never going to sell a show. We were making a show with a, we're supposed to make a pilot with a stand-up labs with those guys.

But we just had like, there's just like a few kind of those. They had Rick Shapiro in countis. So that's a fucking comic thing, this ego. Oh, now Bobby wasn't in it, so he's mad at me. No, but he came in, and we had four lines for him. And he came in and just, he didn't say a word in the four lines, but he went off for a half hour. And then another half hour after of just telling me how amazing my writing was.

Really? When you're like, I mean, you didn't read a word. I write it, but I still just love it. And it's just, hey man, if you, if I could just maybe like hang out with you more, man, you just got like a writer's mind.

And I was just, every time I meet, right, he's just the greatest. Yeah, he's great. He's fucking crazy. I watched those videos on the internet. He's just, he's so funny and lucky, Louis. Yeah, he is. Oh my god, he's so funny.

He really is, man. Oh yeah, he's funny. It's weird. Like, who, do we have, are we making those comics anymore? Are we making the Doug Stanhops and the fucking Shapiro's? And I mean, who out there right now is the, is that guy? You know what I mean? A Mitch Hedberg.

Well, dude, they would get fucking ruined, man. That's actually the world. Those guys, those guys are not going to get opportunities, man. Because guys like Louis or Burr or those guys, you know, 10, 15 years ago, when they were still figuring it out. Yeah. And those rape jokes weren't fucking polished and excellent. And it was like, they might fail every now and then.

Those are the ones that they'll fucking hang you for now. So like, no one, no one like at like i think i think i think think that Michael Chea is hilarious. And there's a lot of comics in it. There's a lot of new comics in it, hilarious. But that style is kind of gone, that fucking rebel or that dangerous or kind of ranting. Or you never know what the fuck he's gonna say and very opinionated comedian is fucking gone.

But it's gonna come back around. It always comes back around. I mean, it's a whole cycle. I mean, right now, it's a joke writing. Am I right? It's more about the set up punch tag. But I don't think it's kind of comedy is kind of taking over. No, but they've already taken over.

That's already fucking gone. I think it's right now. If you look at these comics, they're very They jokes are great. I mean It's just we're not doing those with those guys that might die And I see this like all over the place and it's not an insult to anyone But I say really really good joke writing and it's not even like oh this guy can write jokes I can write jokes

But there's a lot of jokes that I almost feel like you could take these and give it to this guy, take his and give it to this, like take them all and switch them, and there's no one who it's like, there's no personality. No, there's comics where it's like, no, that's that guy's thing.

Like almost like silhouette. You silhouette. Yeah, like back in the, yeah, exactly. It's a, that's what I said, we've said it before on the show, like back in the day when I came up with Patrice, per Dane, Bob Marley, me, you know, we were all kind of the same but we were we were all different You know what I mean? We all yeah, you know, we taught we all had this we went to the same clubs

We were at the same place every fucking night of the week But we were very different and when I came to New York it was the same thing Norton Voss You know all these guys will we see we're all the same thing, Norton Voss, you know, all these guys will, we're all the same places. Plus balls in a similar way, but you're all very different kind of personalities. Fucking different, yeah. Yeah, I remember, the last conversation with Patrice that I ever had, that's what he was going off on was how,

how much he hates that. He goes, I just hate the like detached. I don't have anything in this. This is just how I write a punchline like. Yeah, but here's the thing, I don't think if that's what's paying, if that's what is making, back when I was coming up,

doing, you know, even at the improv, was what comics strive to do, seven minutes of clean material, or four minutes of clean material. Getting on television was the fucking thing to do. I could give a fuck about getting on TV and doing a monologue. I could, what is it gonna do for me?

What's it gonna do? Nothing. But young comics want to, they all want to get on the moon. Yeah, that's fine, but what does it do for them? But I mean, the, the, the, the, the, the, who is the last person to do stand up on the David Letterman show? Hello, allow these comics, nobody. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me,

I mean, Lenny Marcus did it in a couple, like a week ago. I think Joe Liss was pretty close to that. Yeah, but, know back in the day I'm not in for comics now I'll do nothing for him. I don't comics who did these nice shows. They did like all these nice shows and they still I'm talking about comics go out and have a set like I'm called nice show Gary Whatever do you see Gary gomen Seth Myers like it's like the perfect late night set You're like it couldn't be any better than that.

And what did that do for Gary's world? What did that do for Gary's like that really? Like, not what it should, definitely not what it should. Gary Goldman is one of the funniest fucking joke writers, comedians, on the fucking planet walker right now. He does TV sets and it's spotless, perfect perfection joke writing. Then he looked like a simple man, right?

But there's a thing that he should be selling out theaters No, that's my point. I thought him and Ted I watch do like these perfect late nights That's over and over and then it's something it's like no you just it's not saying it does nothing But it's definitely not like like I'm saying doing something like a huge podcast could do way more for their career Then you know how many there's so much stuff for people to watch when there's cable, internet, to where there's, oh, listen to podcasts, where there's like whatever.

There's so many, there's too many late answers. There's so many late answers. And I think people keep fighting that because I love it and I just want to do stand up, but it took me a long time to be like, I don't want to live this life anymore and you have to do something else. So it's like, I love it.

This life of like being on the road and playing for four people, and then you get one Twitter follower that doesn't ever read your tweets again, and like, you have to do something more, and everybody fights it. I always say, like, every, like people always told me

because I started when I was in, you're so lucky that you found your passion early. But then I have to find my second passion, because it doesn't pay shit, and nothing happens from it. And you have to find another way to reach people. And I think Gary Goldman and Teletel, and you have to find another way to reach people and I think Gary Goldman and tell Xander on somebody's brewing in guys that I love they have to find something else to reach people

So that's why podcasts help and that's why YouTube helps and it sucks that you have to do it But you can't just do stand up anymore. It doesn't make anybody money. I mean, it's all about money Scariest thing for me right now because you see these guys that are fantastic like Gary And you're like why isn't he like one of the biggest comedians in the world, you know What what chance what chance do I even have what do I even want to strive for to try to get on the State night? When I see all the guys that have the late night sense and they're still trying to play the places and I'm also trying to And I don't even have it well

You bring it up a good point, dude It's a skit. This is the fear that we live in is you don't know when somebody your shot comes now There's certain people that You know, they just they get it and they just go and they're just they go from one chop to the other and you're like wow That's fucking me and they do not get me wrong. They work hard. Oh, you do not get me wrong people aren't just giving shit I really don't believe that anymore. I mean, I think that people who get stuff, they have to work hard because not only do they have to work

hard when they get those big, huge opportunities, they have the same fear that I would have, and they overcome it, and they perform, and they actually prevail. Okay, but weren't willing to work hard, that'll get weeded out. Like, you think if Chase wasn't willing to work hard, that'll get weeded out. Like, you think if Chey wasn't willing to work hard, he came in as a leader on SNL.

I don't know why, that's funny that you brought up Chey. I'm not even talking about Chey. I think Chey, no, I'm just saying, because I think someone who, he's got a lot of success in my way. Hard, these guys, all these people have to bring, they have to work their asses off. You can't just get an opportunity and do nothing with it. You have to fucking really kill it. Follow through. Follow through asses off you can't just get an opportunity and do nothing with it You have to fucking really kill it follow through as best as you can and have the goods after that because look

It's all these people that are hiring people. They're into making money. They're not just hiring people to give fucking money away Do you understand? Huh? I said that right? Well, it's like there is there is other shit to do and like you're doing you're doing I mean, this is like a totally different format than stand up comedy that you found to have like connect to your fans and shit and then they'll come out to your shows. Like that's a great, you know, and that's like the new sketches. Yeah, absolutely. But you know, look, here's the thing is that you do live in that fear, bro. I mean, look, I've I've done TV. I've done TV shows, I've done a couple flicks.

I do stand up, I make money, but there's the, what I'm 60, what about when I'm 58? 55, what about what am I gonna do? You know, you start looking, I don't care if you're 30, you're looking at 40, when you're 40, you're looking at 50, when you're 50, you're looking at 60, and when you're a stand up comedian, you're sitting there going holy shit.

I don't wanna be here, but I do think you have some control over that. I really do. I believe that if you're a shitty actor, go become better. If you're not good at writing, go become better. You know what I mean? I learned that with Joe DeRosa and Billy Burr.

There was one thing, if I learned anything from those guys, is that we had nothing going on. Well, Billy, of course, did. He was headlining, I was headlining. We all making money, but we were sitting, nobody was giving us a fucking shot, and we said, let's just go write our own fucking movie. Let's make it ourselves.

You know, and Will has done that too. Well, it's like, okay, nobody's gonna give us some movie, nobody's gonna give us the money. We'll just raise our own money, we'll work our asses off, save it, we'll put it in, and then we'll do it ourselves. And it paid off, I mean, look, it one fucking, me and Joe, in a diner, a conversation that we said this should be a movie. How many times you've done that, and we did it, And then that became in the Tribeca Film Festival. That's a fucking holy shit goal in my life. I was there. I know the people that run it.

You know, that's a connection I'll always have. Then it became a book deal with Simon and Shuster. I'm a published author. What the fuck? I don't even know what you're to use, okay? Well, that's what you gotta do now. You gotta create your own opportunities. You can't just play at the clubs and buy someone's But then that became a script deal with FX that one little conversation in a diner that we acted on we were proactive on Became something and people do that all the fucking time

Bobby the thing is what you said earlier is you got a follow through you had another book deal another movie Another another your your TV show coming out. Yeah, I got a I got an hour special coming out No, I have an hour special coming out in the month that I produce myself All right, well, I've been doing that you're making really intense eye contact. Yeah, dude I fucking I actually I Have a huge show have a huge show coming on on FX with Dennis Leary say huge to my you Oh, it's a fucking big show, dude. You got to say no pun intended. We told my yourself All right, let's go to the chat real quick just a quick thing a mookie philip asks is the uncertainty of this business worse than the monotony of a regular job

So my ex-boyfriend Ricky Philip asks, is the uncertainty of this business worst than the monotony of a regular job? So my ex-planet is all those words. It's either being bored and not know like this is your life forever or not knowing if you're ever going to have more than kind of open mics or shitty road show. Is it okay? Here's a deal. It's hard to compare, but. There's no pressure on you though when you just go into your dumb job that you don't like,

you don't have to like step up. When you're a comedian, you have to like bring it all the time. You're always worried. This show wasn't good enough. I didn't get on my thing in that place. Unless you're doing cool shifts for the rest of your life, cool shifts you ain't got to step up. You just gotta say hey.

That's like having a desk job. I can go, are you drinking? But can I say something on that though? You can't just get a cruise ship. That's a whole thing you have to kind of work into and know the guy and get, and this guy, and then you get in there and you can't fuck that up. I know guys who waited the whole career to get that gig

and then did something fucked up and then they booted, gone forever. And then where do they go? So it's up to you. I mean, that's why comics were fucking psycho be when we're out of a fucking mind. But it's like because we love that we love the shit that we live in because that's when we get our funny. Yeah, that's what I was saying and to this guy's question when you go like is that is the trade-off worth it?

It's like it's like asking someone who just bought like a hat is that hat worth the money. You're like well obviously to us, it is. Do you smoke weed before you came here? I always smoke weed. Okay, great. Is that not the perfect analogy? I'm just saying it's like, obviously the trade-off is worth it to us.

But what the thing is, you did it, so we're trying to do it. But if we're gonna use your analogy, you don't know, you don't know if you're gonna lose that hat tomorrow. You don't know if somebody's gonna say that hat's ugly and then you put it in a jar or the rest of your life. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to have a child. And you have all this stuff that you need to actually just keep. Just keep it. Not get more, just keep.

Okay, is fucking daunting. Fucking daunting. Now, imagine if you have a fucking nine to five, five days a week, and you go in and you fucking do your job, and you make enough money, you work, no, you keep everything, all right? And maybe you get more as a raise or a bonus and blah, blah, blah. But you go there or you fucking roll the dice and do comedy

and then you look at your, look at, look at January and you don't have any dates, okay? There's nothing in January. Now, is that gonna happen though? I mean, that's pretty fun. Can I talk? I don't think you can do it then. I mean, not just comedy. Any kind of thing that you put yourself out of the matrix,

whether you wanna run a fax machine, you make fax machines, you wanna run a dog walking business, whatever. That you still rolling the dice on yourself, contain business. What are you talking about? I'm gonna say bad on the floor. I'm gonna make backs with you,

you have to scan now. Check it out. Check it out and pay me. I'm gonna, I got a new business. I'm gonna actually convert tapes to CDs. So, is this all on me? Yeah, it's all on you. It's not 97 anymore. It's not 97 any From the

Why don't you get a tight I get what I get anything that's entrepreneurial and you don't have Yes, yeah, I mean look but then again, not the problem is not is not That was The post Not anymore No, okay, okay, but not so many people are like killing themselves Yeah, oh Dean like comedians are all the time.

Right. And you know, Robin Williams killed himself. He was one of the most successful comedians of all time. He touched pretty much almost everybody's heart on his whole fucking planet. Right. And he couldn't handle the pressure. Right, you're right. Yeah, no, but I, yeah.

My problem, we just got you heated, didn't it? Yes. But my problem is when you ask if it's worth it and to me Have I told you to shut your face? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Go ahead. Go ahead. You have to put K-L-N-A-T things shut her. I'm kidding. She's fucking love you. But what I'm saying is like for me because I get comics asked me all the time is it worth it and that question's the wrong question

You asked dumb questions you're gonna get dumb answers. But it's like to me, the amount of work that it takes to be any kind of successful, it's never gonna be worth it. You just have to like doing it. Well, no, but that's what I'm saying. There's no like, is it worth it? It's like, look, is this life better? Ultimately, if I weigh the pros and cons,

is this better than if I just got a job? But can I say I get to know, because I don't get to live both lives. I'm making a choice to do this one. Okay, here's the deal. I'm right now in my career. I am at the best place I've ever been. I'm doing exactly what I've wanted to do.

I'm doing stand-up comedy when I want to, where I want to. I don't really have to go to these places. I don't like going anymore. And I'm making good money and where I do play and I'm on a television show that I fucking love with people that I fucking admire and I love and it's funny and it's on the network that is my favorite network. And I am in a beautiful place in my life right I have a house I have a child and a wife, it's unbelievable, okay? And I'm still worried.

I'm worried about if the show goes, fucking nine years, what am I gonna do then? I still have those psychotic thoughts of, I'll be 50 something and what am I gonna do then? Am I gonna be, am I gonna have enough money? Is a show, what the fuck's you going? But you've been there before, you've been there when stuff fails and fall on your face So you pick yourself back up right find another way. No, but that's the actual

I want to say this to this guy. That's the the fear of that the fucking anxiety of that is what fucks us up But it's also what gets us to become a better actor become a better standup, be to get these gigs, to get into clubs, that they refused us or rejected us before. It's to make your own movie or to get your own film festival. That's the stuff that pushes you. Because that pushes you out of the business and you see those people just gone, they're just, where are they?

They're gone, because they gave up, they couldn't do it. Not being content. Yeah, do this whole thing, it's like like long. So you say that we can never find happiness. That's what you're saying. No, I'm just from what I've done so far. The whole thing is like long. It's like bursts of a lot of happiness. You know what I mean? You get these bursts of like you get something and it's a big thing. And then a lot of like anxiety depressed. Yeah. It's like how many cycles of that before you're like, ah, that's just kind of me, and that's how I operate in the world.

This is me, look at whatever. I honestly got, my therapist told me that. It's like, you know, I figured out, I was like, look, I get fat, I get skinny. My struggle is I'm trying to deal with my addictions or my fears, my anxieties without medicating myself, without fucking loading up with all the shit. I can't do it, I just can't do it.

You know, I could do it. I could go take all this pro's act and all this shit, and then just be this meh, what's up? I can't do it. I just can't. Did you shrink wannabe on that stuff? What? Did you shrink wannabe on that stuff? No, he wants me to fucking work through my problems. That's good. I feel like the majority of them just want to put you on shit. Go to the chat room real quick.

Take some lexapro. Lexapapro I would love to fucking take a pill and then be okay But I don't think it would work for me why do you take pills like crazy? Yeah, because we can I was on lexapro It didn't matter. Yeah, you know, we don't do shoot anyone over it. Oh What we're not on board with really? We'll go what do you got people? with real he raises will go what do you got people that's matter right more people what do you got strawberry sucker asks

uh... uh... is it what strawberry sucker i love the issue no to he is it is it a guy i don't know is it a guy or girl i think it's a guy okay good uh... he uh... that's actually uh... you'll see why

uh... bobby kelly suck my dick uh... he asks uh... is it me or is is Bobby exuding a sexual energy tonight? He's squinting his eyes like Antonia Benderas. No, I'm just getting that voice too. Do I really? It's the sexy little, really sexy little, you're still squinting your eyes.

You're not squinting your eyes at me, man. Well, I'm not sexy at all. I find myself, I hate myself. I hate my, Bobby, you never know. I have to only watch. This is becoming, hey, hey. You hate me? No, know, I have to be one. This is becoming you hate me. No everybody. Oh, oh Jesus Christ. Well, I really I really I don't know why you see I really hate taking showers right now I hate being naked. There's fat things get out of control man

You don't want to wash your ass. I flush my ass. I hate it though People can't wash your ass? I washed my ass, I hate it though. I mean, people can't wash their ass, this is... No, it's a point in her hurts. Oh really? Dude, I almost fucking pulled a rib muscle. No, I'm kidding. Oh, like, wow, get a loophole or something. No, dude, no, no. It's, it's, yeah, I, dude, I fucking hate it.

I hate myself right now. I hate myself physically. Just do the weight. I'm gonna do it. You love yourself again. I will. I hate myself physically. It sucks. I'm gonna love yourself again. I will. I will. Why can't you talk to me like that all the time? I like to eat the microphone. I like that. Not the same. What? I'm microphone. You've been doing this long enough to know that yelling and eating the microphone are two different things. That's true. Your titties are delicious. I hate you so much right now. Well, I hate you so go fuck yourself.

Can I say something in Haiti? That is actually the highest of compliments. Because it has to do with food and your body. So they're saying that your titties are like delicious like food. Yeah, I mean, I can say racist stuff back if you're going to say sexist stuff. Come on. Do it. Do it.

By the way, a feminist who gets it. I've been waiting my entire life. I tell Bobby got nice to these. You're an asshole. It's different in second of all. What the fuck are you doing with the floor? Why the fuck would you make me uncomfortable in a room full of dude? Yeah.

It's actually really shitty, well. Oh, I apologize then. You know what I'm going on camera and apologize. No, I'm just gonna off camera. You're on camera. Hey, can I say something? She's right. I think she's right.

You're an asshole. Shut up, Bobby. And you go in here, you come, you guys, section of ass. Now I'd say one little titty joke. I'm getting a flicking. Well, no, it's listening, man. Some girls are all right with it. And she's apparently not, so there you go.

Yeah, I'll apologize. I want to look at them again. It's all about reading the vote. How about you not talk about it? Now, let's make it a subject. Do you promise us some racist stuff? Yeah, I, I apologize. I want to look at them again. It's all about reading about it. I want you not talk about it now We make it a subject. You promised us some racist stuff I have I have you are you really racist? I've dated I've dated three black guys That means she's racist. I mean I can I Brace your heart. I'm pretty sure that's where racism comes from really. Yes

I'm pretty sure that's where racism comes from. Really? Yes. What? Really? That's what all those slaves did. They broke my heart. They broke my heart. Maybe you ain't broke more.

These places all along. Get on the boat. I'll never forgive you. I would like see. I did my racist research. I was like, I'm not just going to hate them as a whole. I'm going to find individual things to hate about them. That's what that is.

This whole, broke my heart. Hold on. She done went and fucked another black man in front of me. Is that black out? That's Roke my She don't went and fucked another black man in front of me is that blackout those slave owner Never white people all right nice talk it I was kind of going with the whole the whole theme give me the hangout. It's a hangout. It's a fucking band-in there It's got a hangout. Thank you. She what is it? Actually nothing is a when you say a bomb Yeah, what's a hangy she's what is it nothing is a when you say a bomb yeah what's a hangy she's a master band-a-danner this is the bomb band-a-danner so when you say it's like a sexist band-a-danner or like just bad you're not really mad about that you I think I think I think I've known him what like

12 years I consider him a friend and for him to one-tiny joke one-tiny joke it's a messa ten years ago first of all, you're just annoying in general, but I think it was shitty. I'm allowed to think about it I love to shitty jokes you didn't it was out of nowhere. We weren't even talking about a lot of shitty jokes It's a good part. I'm trying to I don't agree with all the fat so jokes either, but it's we can't be police God joke cops It's not joke cops, but you know that you know that's pointing out first of all we weren't even talking about it You you made it a subject now we have to fucking talk about it I was just a comedian now. I'm somebody that holds tits like it's annoying

I like what you say hold tits make you sound like like it's like a retirement Is now I'm trying not to look at her tits Put that blame on me Pursuit with tips now now she's doubling annoying because she's a chick Person and now I'm annoying person with tips and now now she's doubling annoying because she's a chick She's a comic and now she's I might tips and now we have to talk about tips for the next half hour I don't want to I don't want to yeah the racist stuff wasn't even that racist. Yeah, I was gonna get it some deep fucking Missouri shit with Dave with fucking politician days for bone in the

Yeah, I was actually I was attracted to her nose I like you know it's sexy Was my jokes well you should zip your hoodie though if you don't want any kitty jokes I mean it's a cardigan and my they're not out yet. I heard the We have a TV we have a TV blanket Yeah, I'm getting blaming Get the YK. I mean, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I mean But there is some is about people wearing shit. They move dawn. You made a more big of a deal than what it was Nobody was ah, that's almost a titty joke again right there

Again, it's victim blaming. Oh, you're a victim blamer. Go fuck I love it. This is reverse racism. This is titty racism. I think will's plus it for the first time. You know You know, plus do well good eat some almonds and shut the fuck up Get some more water because your mouth is dry bitch. Oh shit. I got the bomb bandanna. What's the chatroom talking about? Cosmic cow says facts machines aren't actually obsolete still very prominent in the corporate world. Thank you Thank you. What's his name? What's that guys? Cosmic cow. He's yeah, but he's from India No offense I had a court. I got a speeding ticket and I got out of it

doing like six hours, whatever. And the woman, I called the court and I was like, can I send in this form for my six hours and she's like, you can fax it. I was like, okay, can we use something that I, like I can scan it to you in a second. It's gonna take, I'm gonna have to walk somewhere and pay money.

Like, who's faxing shit? It's dope. I faxed like this year, definitely. I'm old, well. Did my aunt, no, I got got a whole I got a brand new HP laser laser color laser printer slash scanner slash Facts machine and I scanned something earlier this year scanning is different facts Fred on facts and I fact something all this here

Where you can like scan it from your phone something all day this year. I think this year, this year. There is a lot of stuff. Where you can like scan it from your phone. Yeah, why are you ever packing? You don't have to go out of the machine. I want you to. Just so funny though.

Shit. It's so funny that this guy wrote, how dare Bobby has kind of zip up our hoodie. Can we? Fokyo TV says, how dare Bobby ask it to put on a hoodie. I'll turn this shit off as soon as that happens. Oh, jeez. I don't agree with that either.

I don't like that. First of all, can I say something though? It's interesting that that is interesting to me because we're talking about how much I hate my body. I Really do. I fucking hate it. But if I was really in shape right now, I'd probably be here with some type of sleeve loose something. If I was shredded with a tight shirt on or if it was a summer time, I'd have some type of wife Peter on and you would love muscle. I would. I was like, oh my god. If some girl, if some girl was summertime, I'd have some type of wife, Peter on and you would love muscle pills. I would, I would, if someone was like, oh my god, if some girl, if some girl was like, oh my god, take that shirt off,

I'd be like, fuck, and I would love every compliment of nice, fucking, whatever. You would wear Ed Hardy. I would, when I'm saying is, is that, it's that when you, you have a, you're a pretty girl, you're a pretty girl. I can't win regardless, by the way. If I dress frumpy, then I'm just like, oh. No, I'm saying though, but you're a pretty girl. You're a pretty girl. I have to win regardless, by the way. If I dress frumpy, then I'm just like,

oh. No, I'm saying no, but you're a pretty girl. And I think that you're a sexy girl too. I mean, stereotypically, what men would find attractive you are. You're cute. You're kind of, you're attainable too. You're not like the smoke and model,

but you're a good looking girl. No, I don't mean it. You're talking dance around that for 12. Yeah, why have you taken that whole top? I mean, people for bang you because you're not that great. As I'm saying. You've got three black guys, so we know you're open-minded. It's gross.

But what I'm saying is, is that, you know, I mean you you're really not mad that much it will right? I mean I'm mad that I mean I Honestly mad you're you're you're what is the word? Are you mad at will or the patriarchy? I'm mad that Sorry, what's up? I mean and you should I mean maybe there's I feel like there's more black eyes exception in comedy But as a woman I am usually the only woman on panel and I don't want it to be a subject I mean if you personally went like as a female comic have you spit then we're gonna make it a subject But right now I was just a comic and he took me out of that now I'm a fucking woman. I just had a speech about how I look attractive. I mean, I don't want to hear that

It's not I've been working for it It was a war on a joke and you made more of a big deal than with the joke boy. I think they had moved on from it. Because I was pissed off about it. And I'm allowed to be pissed off. I just like, he's like, you know what I mean? So I got a sense of my, I got a sense of what I say.

I'm allowed to be sensitive about something that it's not a topic, dude. Yeah, what? You made it a topic. I didn't make it a topic. I just said once to be joking. I said a bunch of stupid jokes all day. Everybody then just said that now my tits are a subject.

No, I didn't know that. You made it a subject. You made it a subject. Dave, your balls look great in those jeans. Dude, I've been wearing them my pants out the whole time. And no one said shit. Like seriously, really, really nice to someone like me. I'm offended at that comment because Dave

is a fucking great comic first off. And he should be proud of your fucking way.'ve come to and not just be looking at his balls What's gonna happen is you're gonna get a whole bunch of comments that are gonna be like let's let's hang on what second She should show her face and she should be great Okay, okay, hang on what second. Hey, she's gonna be an old bitch. She talks too much. I've been on pocket I've been on let's let's hang on let's find out if Your stereotypically right. I have no idea what this says. From the top down, read the chatroom and read the next five things and don't fucking disobey me like you always do when you go

that was not funny. Just read from the top down, do you please. Well, the OTV says her platform for being offended is nonsense, period. Okay. Go ahead. Wait. What for being a offended? That's one. Okay, wait, we got one, you got one, go ahead. What's number two? Number two. Clue 426 says I can see her titty meat. Two, another, now it's a sum.

Number three, number three. I'll give you a titty meat. That's also about the titty meat. What's number three? I'm just looking for more stuff that's relevant to her. To be fair, you said comments about your titties. Did you include Titty meat in that? Oh, that's good.

I'll make that neutral. She'll get that one. 19 James C says, remember last week when Will said Dina has a nice ass, Dina didn't care at all. Oh, you see for Dina. That's four. Okay. I'm not Mookey Philip says that Titi choked cross the line. How dare you talk about an enemy?

I don't know how to enter that's actually four. What's for us? That's our guys. I'm Need a douche for you go for What a douche we were all like wait a minute. I want good. What's the next week? He was the white knight the company good. Dime bag me too says I know I know Is it good read it what is it kind of mean, but I'll just read it time bag me to that's my I'm gonna be something about me shutting my mouth no, yeah, what is it? Why because I can't read it. I don't like it either. I'm just really. Just read it. I would like to hear it.

I'm back to 666 says, and that's why most females don't make an comedy. One joke and they shit their pants. But that's not what it is. You have to understand. That's not the wash. It doesn't matter. But this is what I have to deal with. And I'm saying that before this happened, I was, we didn't even talk about.

You were just a fucking yapping woman. I was annoying. I was annoying because I talked too much. No, you're not annoying. I'm kidding. I'm kidding about that. You know that. But I'm a woman, I'm a woman. I was annoying because I talked too much. No, you're not annoying, I'm kidding. But I'm kidding about that, you know that. But I'm allowed. I'm allowed to be you. I'm allowed to, but nobody this

because they don't have a platform other than this fucking thing. They're gonna rip me apart just like YouTube does, just like Reddit does, and I'm just a girl that talks to you. Yeah, but here's the thing though. Can I say something? Like the girl last week just kind of went with it

and nobody said anything, you are taking your stance Which is fine, right? Here a seriously it is but you with that stance You're gonna get you're gonna Your consequences, but you're also gonna get a lot of people who listen to this would actually go You know what she's fucking right and I agree with her. You're gonna get both Which I think in the business, having both, having people not like you,

like even in comedy, when people walk out, I think you're doing something right. Cause not everybody fucking likes what you're saying. If you're up there and everybody's like, this guy's fucking great. And the other thing is that there's women that, I mean, there's women that want those compliments. And I get that, I'm just saying that,

Will's my friend, and I've known Will a long time, and this discussion, I mean, I'm just saying that wills my friend and I've known well a long time and this this discussion I mean I'm friends with a lot of shitty people this is comedy, but I'm saying that it upsets me because this wasn't I didn't I had walked into the room and we were talking about exercise. You'd be like Liz you look really great You know what let's do this you I agree with you and you know what whatever. Well, let's move on Yeah, I don't give a shit all right right, the next topic I want to talk about is vaginas. And yoga pants. Listen, we're gonna take a break.

We're gonna take a break real quick. We're gonna fuck a switch gears when we come back. We're gonna talk about some political stuff. I don't know. Did I why? Because you're a political guy. No, I'm sorry, I'm a little bit dumb. Do they need that talk about Bama's kids?

I do wanna talk about that. There's a few other things that I wanna talk about. So you got a sex tape out, you heard about that? I'm gonna go to break now, will I? Yeah. That's a fuck. We're gonna take two seconds off. You guys in the chat room, please,

hang around for around six minutes, and we'll be right back after these commercial messages. All right, check it out. Make sure you go to robberkillelive.com slashgifts and check out that page. You go to riotcast.com and check out the YKWD holiday kids gift drive that we're doing this year. Please get a gift for a kid.

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Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com Right now. All right, check it out. No bumper, no teaser. We get a fucking go. I have to fly out of here right after this. I get a like bail. I have to go home and get my ass waxed. Am I with at home? My wife was an esthetician, which he was an esthetician. I was gonna tell you.

You should be like one of those dolls you push the foot on and Walgreens. It's just ask questions. What is it? Alright, is it here? Okay, I have the bomb ender. That was actually a long story bomb. That was fine. It's fine.

It's fine flying this week. Who may? No. Well, yeah. And the bandana. Wow. Can I give you flying this week. Who may? No. Well, yeah. And the bandana. Wow. Can I give you this? Yeah.

Please, thanks. Wow. Okay. Since, hey, well, if the fly you fucking dumb, dumb, take that. You need a point and change that. Yeah. Oh, that's a good thing. That was pretty cool.

Um, such an emotional growth. She's, um, she's waxes. She waxes. Um, you said, uh, you said, uh, acetation? No, I said, acetation. Esthetician? Yeah, acetation. What's the definition? She does facials not that kind

See you fucking Shitty eyebrows going up you're gonna offend me in a second. You already offended a lovely guest Now you're gonna fucking offend my wife. By the way, she gives facials. So wouldn't even be that offensive It's not like yeah, I mean she gives facial, so it wouldn't even be that offensive. It's not like that. Yeah, I mean, she has a fucking huge cock. My wife's out there giving facial. She's fucking squirts on dudes' faces. No, she pops it and stuff like that and waxes. She worked at many famous salons in New York City,

Avalon, Avon, Maximus. I'm excited to be here. I can afford those places She's waxing your ass. What is what is the title of your wife's job? She was a statistician that's I feel like there's no way she would want it described as she pops pimples and waxes You know It's basically it's basically a woman that works at like a spa and she worked at high-end spot Well, yeah, well high-end spots is with some people massage therapists, which she wasn't. I remember one night, we were trying to get dirty and she was, because I was going to therapy and it was like,

look, I was telling her, look, I'm gonna come your way a little bit and be a little more gentle and softer and a little more in touch with, you know, the intimacy, you know, and keep my eyes open when I fuck you, basically, and look at you and not think of... Sounds horrible. But then I said, look, I want you to be a little more dirty, too. She was like, well, let's try something. I was like, okay, let's do role play. She was like, I can't act.

And I'm like, well, you just be you, and I kind of talked it through it, and I'm like, okay, she's going to be a massage therapist. She goes absolutely not. I go why? Because I work at a salon. I get you're a nested Titian. If I said I want you to wax me or I feel like you should be like well look if you're a bad actor. You can't really choose your roles You kind of just take her. Yeah, but it's her thing was that it was in the same ballpark, which it's fucking not Like she her she has friends that don't put me back at work while we're having sex. Okay, I got that.

All right, maybe that makes sense. I, uh, that's what he, the letter. Well, maybe she hates all the misuses. I don't, if I'm a nurse, I don't wanna play a nurse in your duty fantasy. I worked at a bagel store one week. Why, you have to be out there gross. Like, I just, the smell of bagels was gross

because I worked at a store for a month. It's like the way she's taking a bagel. So I can, I can, I wait to that. Yeah, maybe. You're noty bagels anymore? No, I mean I went back but like No, just like while I was working there I wasn't eating bagels anymore He just asked that question get off your phone. You fucking asshole my phone what I was preparing for the next topic

What's the next topic that that that lady who attacked Obama's kids? She didn't really attack him. I feel like she was defending herself from the girl. Nobody ever attacked all the presents kids Talking about I didn't want to attack the black kids. She didn't I don't think she attacked them No, she got arrested when she was 17 for shoplifting so much. I did too when I was She stole my class and she ain't got no class or ass I am what we talking about what explain what happened there's a lot of people that don't know what the fuck you talk because you know

fucking yeah they don't do their fucking Facebook feed like you do pretty much a non-issue but it's some staffer yes that's what fire you got fired yeah she got fire she said that's exactly yeah that's what this is it's a fucking staff stop one second explain what it is. It's a fucking staff. Stop one second. Explain what it is. Dave, you do it so we can get through it.

It's a political force. You know what I mean? You're a fucking... You read it for a whistful. Yeah, Elizabeth Lawton, the GOP staffer. I don't know. She worked for some, like, Republican Congress person. Okay. Just breathe a day.

She said some shit about the fucking... Where is it? Now, you're really political. Said some shit about the fucking kid. She said it? Now you're really political. Said some shit about the fucking kid. She said something about how, okay, when Obama was, whatever he was pardoning the turkey or whatever. And so the girls were there, they were like kind of rolling their eyes and being teenaged.

And they would dress, and they would dress kind of casual. And she was like, oh, have some respect or whatever and kind of went into them. Which yeah, is kind of over the line. You don't really go after the kids. But don't make it this like, it's not a black white thing. It's a Democrat Republican thing. I've had, so by the way, don't really go after the kids but don't make it this like it's not a black white thing it's a democrat republican thing i've had to by the way black comics uh... say this all the time to me and it's

like they'll come up with shit like uh... i heard one of mutual friends are set up he goes he's like you know when they if they shut that government down they would never do that to a white president i was like well they did twice the clinton so they probably what like these things that they said about all i'll see things were said about the bush girl the bush girl the bush girls were

can I stop when they were part of can I stop for one second uh... clinton's daughter Chelsea was attacked her whole fucking life for her face okay

the way she looked about politicians so over so it's not it's not a by regular people by the new by the news media by regular people so what So it's not, it's not by regular people. By the news media, by regular people. So it's not a black white thing. This lady, this lady saw these two kids and they were on camera and they were making faces and she made some country old lady fucking statement. It wasn't a fucking black white thing.

It was some country fucking old lady, some middle-aged broad who wants the president's kids or whatever to be dressed up and dresses like. That's what it is. It's a conservative thing. Which is a conservative thing. He's considered something to attack. Let me tell you something. This is how their mind works, okay?

They are very, very offended by stuff like that. And this is going back, you know when Obama's flag pin isn't and big enough he's got his jacket off this weirdly in the minds of conservatives they like a more traditional serious America and I don't agree with that but it's not really well forget the black white thing take that out that the fact that she attacked these kids and she's now holds some herself sure and she got fired she's fired for it yeah what do you and she got fired. She's fired. Yeah, no one is perfect. What do you want? What do you want?

They speak about other people. What more could you want? She's fired at Christmas. But she got fired, dude. She didn't, you don't resign from that. Someone said, you need to resign or you're getting fired. She resigned. Same face.

Yeah, she's safe face, so you get another job. But here's a deal. It's Christmas time. This is dumb dumb. When in fucking blog to whatever the fuck she did. Opened her mouth like she shouldn't. She should only be, that's why the fucking internet sucks. Not everybody should tell people what they fucking think.

Cause there's a lot of cons out there that just fucking suck as people. But it's so weird just like what, like to me, it's like the selective outrage, like what ends up being picked. So we care about what the staffer said all of the sudden. But all these feminist articles that they write about outrage things,

do you guys remember, like, cause probably no one remembers this, Hillary Clinton there's a tape of her laughing about getting a child rapist off. There's a tape of her laughing. First of all, about getting a child rapist off. It's worse than the Nonsense. Mostly, mostly they care about her getting,

mostly they care about her quitting or getting fired. They were just saying their opinions, like she said her opinion. I love that she got fired. Hang on a second. Hold on, I'm not done yet with my monologue. I'll familiar. Yeah.

That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. When Michael Vitches on one of these chakra, Michael Vitches, any one of these dudes

that come on their racist thing, I don't want them to get fired. It's like, why can't they keep their job? Is there a opinion? That's what I think. Do you know what bug me? There's one bug me more about, I don't care what she said.

That's fine. You said what you said. You put it out there. What bothered me is her fucking retraction, her fucking, you know, quivering, just fucking, I shouldn't have done it. I'm, she was like, I made, then she brought religion into it, her apology.

Cause you know, it's fake. She brought sucks. Well, it might not be fake, look dude. I've done shit. I've said shit. Will did it here tonight. You said shit about her and I'm, I guarantee you feel bad about it

cause you're friends with her. I feel bad. Right. So, you know, everybody does something. That's that thing where they say I guarantee you feel bad about it because your friends with her. I feel bad. Right. So, you know, everybody does something. That's that thing where they say you shouldn't apologize. Sometimes you should because you've done- No, we're not, not forcefully.

It's the fake apology that's up. Well, not because your job is online. Guys, don't talk over each other. Not when the job is online. When the job is online, and then that means it's fake apology that's not like- Yeah, but she went from so this way to this way, and she brought religion into it, and it's like, I just wanna be a better career,

some shit like that, it's like, you know what? Fuck you. She wants to get another job. Well, that's what she's saving face to get another job. She got fired, she can knock another job. That's a big part of what sucks about political correctness is that instead of almost learning more about about that person's position like I'd much rather hear more of these people justify like tell me why you believe

that first comment rather than just like apologizing for. I'm with you Bobby. We all say things we regret and if you are actually sorry there's nothing I'm apologizing but it's like these people when you're like I'd almost rather and that's what's so interesting if you look back at in news like before political correctness back in like the 50s and 60s You can get interviews with racists where they'll just tell you why they're racist right you don't get that anymore now It's everyone oh, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, but like you hide stuff. You don't learn I completely agree like I have jokes They're not rape jokes, but they mention rape and basically it comes from a place of fear

And that's why I talk about it and this old woman came up to me after a show She goes I thought you were funny. I just want to say they're you should never talk about rape and basically it comes from a place of fear and that's why I talk about it and this old woman came up to me after a show She goes I thought you were funny. I just want to say you should never talk about rape and I go Why would you tell me not to talk about something by telling me that you silence me and now this thing I think about every day is now no longer a topic. Well, why is rape? Why is rape and this is kind of a lot of like feminist believe this Well, why does this is this the only magical horrible topic we can't talk about? It's like, make jokes about war. Wait a minute, that's not it. You can't make jokes about rape or titties. No, but that's pretty neat.

That's a pretty neat. It's a neat thing. You don't talk about titties. But what I'm saying is like, let's put it this way. If we were talking about it and then he brought up, No, don't, I'm kidding. Please move on from it. I'm not, I don't want to, I, we, I'm, we,

When callbacks go wrong. When callbacks go wrong. When callbacks go wrong. What I'm saying is when you do, when you do silence, racist people or anybody that's saying fucked up stuff, you don't figure out how they got there and you don't learn. And it's like, you should be able to talk about anything.

And people are allowed to have their opinions, but it's like, then you should know that people might not agree with them. But if you're opinions right, then You don't want to silence anyone. If your opinions right, you should enjoy welcome that opinion. And it will expose itself. Also, that's why people like I miss, or anyone of these guys is like,

it's fine, them are attacking them, it's not, it's like, first of all, find out why they think like this. And that's the point of view, they had the right to think like it. They had the right to think like it. But I think it's the right to think women like it makes you. It makes you. It makes you seriously though, it does make you stop for a second and give pause. You know

what I mean? Because a lot of this stuff, I'm not saying it's right and I don't want to see people get fired and you know, I believe you should say what you want, but it does make people like me who has a podcast, who does comedy, who is out there and saying shit all the time, it makes me stop and go, wait a minute, I need to really believe in what the fuck I'm saying. Even in funny, I need to make sure that I'm trying to be funny. I'm not just being an idiot, especially now you're getting more stuff with the TV stuff like that.

Yeah, because I've done shit in the past that I regret. I've said stuff that I wish I didn't say in the name of funny. I hate will. I, you know, why are we helping Haiti? You know what I mean? Why don't we help Puerto Rico? It's closer. No, you know what I'm saying?

I've said stuff, I've done stuff in the past as a young comedian where it's like, oh shit. You know what I mean? I took it too far, that was my thing back in the day. I took it too far, Bob, I remember Patrice said one time, he was like, you fat motherfucker, I was like, yeah, I hope you die of diabetes. And he was like, what the fuck, Bobby?

You know, you take it too far. And it happened. No, that's not why you died. No, no, he didn't fucking die of diabetes. He had a stroke. Well, what I'm saying is like, this is a problem not even just with a whole fuck you. You're like, now you take it too far.

Yeah, but he's like a creepy, you know, he's like a creepy goth girl. And now it happens. I'm fucking crazy over here. I can't believe it. What do you think? Are you cold? It's cold.

I mean, I'm also starving and I think my body shutting down. So, if you pass? Yeah, I mean I'm also starving and I think my body shutting down If you pass out I would so I would I would help you absolutely, but I would not stop the podcast I have no I'm I'm very much Make sure we'll do nothing to you while you're best Point so we can move on what I am saying Female alpha male in you I've alpha lady. I don't know. I President Obama have a conversation with this woman and go hey I don't know why you pinpointed my daughter. He can't you can't

This what regularly life let's say something offensive Are you just like that? I have me on the pod Obama Obama shouldn't have a conversation with her because this is a fucking staffer You know can I say something? He doesn't even give a fuck about her. He doesn't care what happened was okay. He's worse than that That's like that Listen should be a non-topic. No, no, no. She doesn't get popular.

Herb, I'm gonna stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Fuck you guys, talk a lot. I love it, but you two, fucking, I'm holding back. No, please, no, go, but just hang on one second. When I'm saying, her boss fired her. Not Obama. She, there's someone above her that said, you fucking, you nuts, are you nuts?

You don't fucking make fun of my bosses. Oh, my, there's a boss above him and some of them. And then Obama, Obama had nothing to do with this. He doesn't give a fuck about this fucking fat bitch on Facebook. What, he, her boss was like, you fucking audio mind. You're gonna get me in trouble. You're fucking representing this. We're both trying to do this shit. We're both is out there trying to be like are you kidding me?

I'm just meeting with my fucking yes Yes, right now to see if I can get them kickbacks and you're getting me in the fucking news over the Obama Yeah, that's fucking wrong. You don't go out that's why I should get fired Yeah, that's good and that is appropriate because look at the end of the day Friends no, no, no Dave please. I thought you were I was finished. Yeah, I was finished So I picked up on the timing. And then it was good. I was like, well, I'm not going to leave me anymore. I love hearing Dave.

I think I love Dave. He's very political. And he knows his shit. I don't know. Dave, the court's gone. Before. Dave, the wife. Dave had to re-do it with my phone.

He's political. Dave tells her, I tell him to look at this. I tell you. I'll be with the Dave, because honestly, dude, go ahead. But this is a, I don't necessarily know he is fucking fucking meaningless topic, so everyone's face-booking about better than anyone else. Like, that's honestly, that's just not like what I'm saying. So, you're a sort of political topic, Dave, that's a...

Yeah, you tell us, Dave, but this is your segment right now. You're gonna bring up the... You're gonna bring up the... I said, wait, shut up, let me finish. I'm setting you up, you fucking non-radio asshole. I know you used to do it in fucking- I know. Fucking Legion of Skanks where you fucking potheds just yammer over each other. I'm sorry Bobby, I do a lot of potholes. You're the only one that has 80 people on it.

So yeah, because it's popular, okay? It also has more than 80 listeners. Yeah, exactly. You fucking 1500 fucking assholes in a basement. Listen. Legion of Skanks. It's not a Legion. It's fucking it's more like a gang having our best month We've had a literally the best month we've had in the history of the show really that's great. Okay. How many of us are how many how many I don't I don't

I don't Were in the same amount of figures as as Joe Rogan as I no no no I think like big pocket as um, I think I think yours the same amount of figures. As? As Gerogun? As a... No, no, no. As I think like, big pocket. As I think, I think yours, but obviously, much lower number, same amount of figures. I believe you look. I don't know how that works.

I might be wrong. Much lower number, but the same amount, how does that work? No, no, figures. I'm saying like six, but not six. Can you set him up on my body for crying out loud? I just wanted him to fucking spiral out of control with his fucking, dude, we're having the bad dude good fucking not the same but the

Bear. I'm fucking of course that great dude. I'm very I love your actually pockets. It's a great show No, no, it's awesome show. I do I love like Lidgenous kegs If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't exist. But listen That's probably true. Listen. I want you to take this over right now. You're a political guy. We're bringing up little menial political topics

that you can't even be bothered with. So the really, really important thing that no one's talking about is that you do. You bring it up this year, mom. Okay, then really, really important. What you want to talk about this week, it's not like Ferguson or Cosby or this staffer, Obamapest and Executive Order,

that is going to extend the deadline from the Afghanistan war ending. So he's been promising 2015's what it's not like Ferguson or Cosby or this staffer Obama-Pesson executive order that is gonna extend the deadline from the Afghanistan war ending so he's been promising 2015's when it's gonna end right the longest war in American history he just said he's extending it indefinitely pretty much known as talking about it so I don't know I mean it's not that funny of a topic that I have an interest in but listen to the important thing that's going on there's a shot listen that's what I took it swing it wow you said that's good but i'll know it's it's bad

it's bad because he actually what really is political i know i even do as bad i know it's bad but stop it uh... political platform you should know that his political platform hang on everybody who sing the great calling quit is calling uh... well i don't know how to get calling were doing the yk wd live and davis smith is just brought up a of very hot topic

uh... yeah uh... uh... the topic was that obama uh... was it again that uh... warnaf danistan yeah he said that he's, uh, extending the war in Afghanistan indefinitely. Oh, and then nobody's talking about it. Is he in the bathroom? And he is, he is, he is fucking, uh, besides himself because nobody's talking.

Yeah. Hey, you know what? There's only one thing people are talking about less than that. What? Dave Smith. Oh! Oh, gosh! Oh!

Oh, Dave, who's in club? Oh, that was, no, that was beautiful. Ah! No, no, no, no. Ah! I love that. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's at least he knows your name You know your name right that's actually the most that's the most I've ever been talked about You do you know Colin do you know Colin no you never met him?

Okay, there's no will actually no will so do you know will so vids? Yes Do you know Will still Vince? Yes. He's not excited about that. That's it? That's all you have? That's how I prove right now. I just, that's it and then nothing more. If you didn't know him, you'd be like, Will,

so Vince, yeah, I know that God is a great guy. But I go, yes. All right, buddy, what's up? You just call on us to say hi? Yes are you lonely what you taking a dump what's wrong with you who the fuck is that what do you think it is he was mumbling yes he's like the white me the way mumbles g-hanky sheath gimme the hanky sheath he's heath he said you should have the bomb bandana for that one

Most of the people in this room are laughing and they don't know who that is But but we still get it. it's some type of fucking dirty Arab but some type of Israeli kids right? you have candy on your own? all right uh... do you know Chris Goppo is? sure I do you do?

what do you think of him? I've never seen him do comedy I don't know what do you think of him? I? Never see him do comedy. I don't know. I just know him is You know you're basically your your valet my what your valet Bobby your valet Well, that's just the shit thing is he's right here You just call them a valet do you know deep who? What do poo? Oh, good. Do you know D. Poo? What? Dupu. Oh, good. D. Poo. Do you know D. Poo? D. Poo. Who's that? One of the... That sounds like the guy... Is that the guy you know burn his bitch down and it's rehearsal?

Oh, who's that? I love you killing on the show. That's a great... You're just improv and you're making it up. I'm on fire. This is a great you're just improv and you're making it up I'm on fire now who's people is that like a book is there something a blood leader that's why I said that a blood leader a Like a nickname of a leader of the blood in the Midwest Where they're used to nickname probably the East Coast they like yeah, we don't do that anymore No more nicknames, you know where the blood blood, but we're like New York, I was a pilot. We use our real names or something,

but we're midway assist to go 50 full. Just go nowhere. Keep on. Will said this is going nowhere. Yeah, I think he was right, but he didn't help Matt at any break. Hi buddy, I'll talk to you later. I'm getting mad.

I'm getting mad. Have you ever asked Wax? No. No. Do you have a... Do you have a truck at a matter? Do you have yet yes waxed uh... do you have a do you have hair on your ass uh... really i mean it's kind of a pink kind of a collage of it i'm sure they're sons

pink why is your ass pink i'm saying it gets to pay you know my skin's red when you're no what what well i mean it's white but it's like your wife pay you work

why you look at your ass while you're working out you feel it's a fun thing. No, I'm not paying attention. Are you talking about intuition? What the fuck? Well, but I'm like, tasty, you know. All right, well, all right.

Well, I have hair in my ass that I've gotten over here. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna have my wife is gonna wax it tonight. She's the institution. Oh, come on, you gotta do it on the show, man. I'm gonna wax on the show. There's a fucking young woman here. There's a young screen.

Good looking gay guy here. I'm not doing that. I'm talking about that. Talk to my girl. There's a young, good looking gay guy here. I'm not doing that. Talk about that. What's the young gay guy? Huh? What's the young gay guy? Oh, look at you. You're trying to get a date.

What's the young gay guy? You're gonna whip up when I say that. You're about to hang up. Who's the young gay guy? Who do? Yeah. All right, goodbye. Bye.

I love you, goodbye. Bye. Bye, bye, I love you buddy. Did you get your whole ass whack or just like the crack part? I am getting my balls. I'm getting, no. I'm getting, this is the, this is when I know that my wife is not going anywhere because she's gonna have to open up my ass

and pour wax into it. And then she's gonna have to- Wait, why is this happening? Because tomorrow for the show, I have to do something, I have to show my ass for something. And I don't, if it's gonna be on like TV, TV, you know what I mean? Why is it?

Why do you do it the day before? That's what I mean. When it's all red and bloody. Yeah, I don't know why you didn't do it like a couple days before. Why, I don't understand. Because when it's gonna be all red and bloody. It's not gonna be all red and bloody, Yeah, I don't know why you didn't do it like a couple days before. Why, I don't understand. Because it's gonna be all bed and bloody.

It's not gonna be all bed and bloody, but it is gonna be like, I'm sure over a day, but it's gonna be kind of like. They're not showing my inner asshole. I just, I'm not. No, I get that, but are you like moaning somebody? I'm pulling my pants down and there's something in my mind. Showing one has ass.

Yeah, show my ass. Okay. Why is it shaped ass the best ass? That's what I don't know, because you're wearing your ass in the dairy. Like a manly ass. That's manly ass? Shame on their ass. Why. Why is it shaped ass the best ass? That's what I don't know Should I share your ass and then I'm mainly asked that's you man hair on their own? Why don't you know your ass? No, why don't you not shape it? I think our hair Yeah, I should be funny you but I don't think I don't think there's enough Look like your ass. There's not enough hair on my ass to look mainly. It kind of looks sick

That's what I mean funny like this is not enough looking ass I don't want my ass is awful enough never mind Shaving his ingrown hairs. I think waxing or narrowing or the way to go But I'm gonna wax cuz I don't want to get in and grow in here He's like you know, they got waxing his head. He's not gonna take that out You're gonna stop and put his ass wax. He's he's gonna stop up from getting that what He's gonna mission. He's gonna get his ass wax Trying over the 18?

I pitter off right exactly what's the chat room saying? Jack way it says deep who's probably got a hair. Yes I bet I bet his does do you have a hair. Yes, you do It's less than you would think do you respond to all these like or this is how we respond I'm talking them on the side a little bit to yeah You like both. Thank you for requiring. Yeah, exactly Mookey Phillips says deep who is amazing. He's multitasking like one of his six armed gods Okay, that's an Indian job shout out to Vishnu right there. Ish knew is that a name? I think so. All right, God Before when Bobby was bashing the internet for, you know, justified reasons. Fuck your TV said, I'm still thinking it's bashing the internet.

Quit, everyone having a voice is better than an elite few. No, I agree with that. I agree that everybody has a voice, but I'm saying that not everybody should be hurt. I don't think that this lady, why the fuck? Why the fuck why not why can't you be heard this? Well here she goes here's her here's her opinion Here's a fucking pain and then you're gonna deal with getting fired you fucking idiot because you don't have you don't know You know a fan base you don't hang on with that you aren't a professional fucking Speaker or you're not a professional exactly you're not on the internet all the time

you did something that got major exposure okay we all kind of learn how to get deal with major exposure and learn how to fucking hey I gotta be careful with what I say here make sure I really want to stand by this because what could happen to this I'm going to have to deal with the consequences of it. This lady was just like, hey, you know, hey, whatever. Fuckin' here's what I think. And it got picked up by somebody which happens all the fucking time. Okay, you don't know who's going to see what you write. And then you fucking done.

Now you're fired. Like, there was that girl Kim Costas in Boston who I know. hilarious girl. Did this rant on fucking college kids coming home on Vine into Boston into the hometown. And she just basically said, go fuck yourself. Don't do this, nobody gives a fuck about it. It was this beautiful Boston rant.

It was hilarious. And it just made her famous radio station picked up on another one, news, and it went nuts. And she got thousands and thousands of people knew who she was overnight. You know what I mean? That's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, it's a good, it's a good thing but it's also, you know, there was, she got a, she got a lot of fucking weird shit too, you know what I mean of people, you know, fucking saying, look I'm, I have

this guy telling me to go fuck myself on my show. Because I have social media. Do you understand? So I'm willing to deal with this and talk to this guy and go back and forth with someone like this. You know what I mean? This regular person, she went to Jesus because she got so fucking slammed that it made her

go back to God. You know what I'm saying? She, I believe, it fucked her up. She wasn't ready for it. So not everybody, I think, has the responsibility or the actual, what's the word I'm looking for, Dave? I don't know, but I'm looking for a wetness. Could somebody jump in any earlier on these five?

I mean, literally. Literally, for jumping in, because I was going, now I'm being jumping in. All he knows is about the war. I I mean I've talked way too much of my own show this time Yeah, I'm not people I don't think that Dave was included in that like five minutes ago I put a man just because I didn't want you to feel I'm kidding I don't think we were ever just like in broadly just shitting on the internet I mean we're doing an internet radio. Yeah, like obviously like we're all on board with the internet

I love the internet. It's like it's just a matter of like yeah It gives it gives a lot of people voices and some of those voices say stupid shit But I think you weed yourself out so like have you ever had somebody say something shitty to you And then you go look at their followers and there's three of them and you go, oh, okay, this doesn't matter. Even though it hurt your feelings, you're like, oh, nobody pays attention to me. That's so fucking sad, that's what you just said. Are you wet and hunted them down and researched them?

Oh, make a click! What if the, but what if the hell? No endorsements, something like this. I've got some new words. Howdy. Howdy. Howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, howdy, I told you I don't do Reddit because there are mean,

and this one guy said the meanest thing to me and I was about to like go back What we said he didn't mean no pro is probably some will but I look at it in his name was lots and lots of come and I was like I'm not gonna respond to this dumbass, but what was it? I'm not worth it. What a great name now. What what what's that? What a fucking what a guy to go? I'm what what's my name lots and lots of Oh, what a what a fucking funny funny guy to what's my name? Lots and lots of comments. Oh, what a fucking funny guy. To literally go, my name is going to be, not lots of comments. Lots and lots of comments.

I'm thinking lots of comments taken. That's a name. It's a new level. But it does kind of give you more of a visual than just lots of comments. You know what I mean? I'm picturing lots and lots. I'm picturing.

I think it's like a problem that's probably why he's alone. Like he's women mean? I'm not watching lots and lots. I'm picturing. I think that's not a problem, that's probably why he's alone. Like he's women are like, I can't even call this come. I'm picturing like fucking crispy cream loads of, just donut covering lots and lots of come. Well, what I'm saying is that, she's back. She's back. They lose their power.

Why, why Jonathan had not said nothing on this entire show I see Here a lot of stuff We have to talk about you said things Jonathan you've said stuff I think it's no no, but this show it look at man. I try to put these show together and every week It's a different vibe which I love you know what I'm saying and you know this shows I love this show This was great. What what else do they say? Thank you for caring. I wanted me to talk more will I appreciate it? I need somebody on his side Finally, someone's on my side. What do you got deep?

Someone's rooting for me MooPoo. Mookey Phillips says Reddit is representative of how the world is. Really? I kind of agree. You know the aggregate of it is kind of and ends up being kind of spot on. I know like the mean comments not usually but otherwise. Yeah, but look I you know I understand what you say to I of course I've done what you've done You go and you're like oh this guy is fucking two people But I mean the certain mean stuff that I leave up there Like I get the opposite way where someone will just be like um it'll be someone will be like hey man That was really great like I really love what you do and you're like awesome

And then you click on them and they have three followers I was meaningless No one like They still like you. They took the time Because look cuz the Twitter works is when that's real tweets your shit That's fucking John if they say something go John no, but it's just nice that they took the time to like Shake you or right you who? Lord sir and like why you guys doing research on the fucking people that are like Talkin hey, I'm doing research on the ones who like me like those are the ones I'm sorry

I only get attacked but what I'm saying well maybe if you fucking let a titty joke slide you wouldn't get a No, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That was a fucking passive aggressive titty joke Thank you anyway, I actually I actually did research because research because you have to learn how to handle this stuff because it's never going away. Never. I don't take them down. I don't respond to them because that's just going to be a whole feat of both. Wait, how you take them down?

We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down.

We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. We're going to take them down. fucking rich dudes say some mean shit to me like and I go and I go and I go and I say have a lot of followers and I have a boat and it's like Chris is giving you some childhood like put me and people always get what's coming to me now they know a lot of them are fucking I have a lot of they're ruling the world right now I have some trump is like the richest guy I'm I'm I'm pretty convinced some of my famous friends have muted me on Twitter like people who come to my house dumb and hit the mute button on me

because they can't stand my shitty tweets. Listen, you just so much shit about you. No, I'm saying, look man. It's a part of life. It's a part of, no, it's a part of our life now. It's not a part of, Oh, it's a part of everybody's life because they are in your office shit

and you have somebody that's in your office. It's a part of everybody's like, nah. We're talking about social media. like nah, we're so scary. We're so sorry. Look at, we're trying to learn how to, we're trying to shut the fuck up. We're trying, I'm kidding, I said that in the nicest way. Shit.

God. You remind me of the scrillies to date. Didn't work out. No. No, I would love to, I would literally get a shirt that's a shut the fuck up though. And I would point to it when you start. Oh shirt that's a shirt that's a shirt that's a fuck up though. And I would point to it when you start. Oh, that's what we would have like an inside joke.

Go ahead and tell it. Oh my God. No, I think that we're learning how to deal with this though. Like everybody's learning how to deal with rejection on a daily basis. Back in the day, fame, you got accolades, you got fans. You didn't really see any hate mail, you didn't even read the good mail,

you just know that you got a ton of it, and some asshole read it and responded to it. And that a fan club set up to you and did all that bullshit. Now, we're our own fan clubs. We have our Facebook, we're our own social media. The clubs don't promote you, you promote you. But with that, we have to get the negative too,

which sucks, and it's hard to know how to deal with somebody calling you a fat fuck piece of shit you're not funny the worst person in the world never be anything you're a co-taile jumper you're a fucking lazy hunk of shit bald fucking cock suck and come guzzling piece of do-do he's reading these verbatim I'm like I feel like you're giving him right But it's hard to fucking learn how to deal with that and you learn you do it your way I've I've learned how to deal with my way some guys I love like how it's turned just laughs at him like I hear him to it. He'll just fucking That's what made him that's what made him how son can I say this when I be my when I read my YouTube videos

Comments and I'll be happy, happy, happy. One person will say one bad thing, and that will mess up my whole day for that one. Really? Back then, now I don't care. Back then I glass here, but now I don't care. I delete them though, I will delete something. You can leave on?

I will, yeah, because you know what? My fans or people who do like me, they don't deserve to fucking see some idiot. And I believe it's the same few idiots. Because I know there's one guy that just keeps getting a new Twitter account. That's why I'm kind of mad at Twitter for not figuring that out. Like the same IP. You can't figure that out.

You fuck someone who keeps getting fucking douche stuff the internet and get... You should be only allowed to get like five Twitter handles in a lifetime. And that's it. And then you're off Twitter forever. Fuck you. But you can keep making email address. to get like five Twitter handles in a lifetime and that's it. And then you're off Twitter forever. Fuck you. But you can keep making email address. I know, I know, there's no way around it.

But I pay a dress, they know where you are. Yeah, I fucking hate it. But I'll, yeah, I don't think that like my family or my friends or fans who people really like me deserve to read some fucking, fucking idiot. Fuck him. I just almost, I never want to give them almost even the sense of, I just favor it, everything.

Like no matter what it is, like, oh, you saw that wasn't fun, just favorite. Cause it's almost like to me, like, I don't want to give you the satisfaction of like, I'll delete you off my fingers. It's like, okay, good. No, like you should retweet only the negative ones. Cause you know, everybody reviews the positive ones.

Like, oh, this guy likes me. Like, I want everyone to know one person liked me on the show last night. I don't even know that it's not easy. And that when you make yourself vulnerable and you put yourself out there and you leave your dream that some people are gonna be like you're great and some people are gonna tell you to go kill yourself.

And this is what it is. And if you can't handle it, then you shouldn't be here. Let's go to a chat room. And I think people should see that. Liz, I've, this, you guys all tonight, I'm leaving the show and I was picking somebody to replace me and Liz you won. You are the new host of the show. I'm leaving. You won the chocolate factory. You won the win, but you didn't fucking talk that much. She wouldn't shut the game down.

He's saying it'll work in over here. What's in the chat? Let's chat over there. Let's chat. Let's chat. I said Dave here and Will there. I thought these two would be the one going back and forth arguing but Liz took that me and we're gonna argue no we just fucking his lab let's go to the chat real quick before we leave uh strawberry sucker asks hey Bobby did you see the Star Wars teaser I did thank you for bringing that up man. It was mediocre

Here's the so overhyped I fucking I might get got solid hard and almost into my belly button when I saw the dead pool trailer Which was fucking amazing which what a trailer should be I'm who got trailer. Oh, yeah fucking go It's so the Avengers trailer. Yeah. They leaked it out, but this trailer was so bad ass that it actually fucking jump started Dead Pull's movie, which is gonna happen with Ryan Reynolds. So that's fucking awesome. You saw the Avengers trailer? I saw the Avengers trailer, that was great too. But look at Star Wars trailer, you know, first of all, why is that?

You like the Avengers trailer? Hang on, I love it. I said it was... Look at this Marvel fan, it's like, fuck Star Wars, first of all, why is that you like the adventure trailer? Hang on, I love that. I said it was like, I said, this Marvel fan is like, fuck Star Wars Age of Ultraw. I love it, dude. I thought it was amazing. Okay, is this satisfying you?

I'm trying to move on because I want to say that. No, come on, there's a black guy in the Star Wars trailer, teaser. I thought that, yeah, the first of all, he pops up, which is like, who's that fucking? I mean, he's an actor who you like, I know him, but I don't, who is he, where's he from? Which annoys me?

He was on the tack of the block, I don't know. It should have been fucking Harrison Ford, first of all. We should have saw his face in the fucking trailer. And then they have the lightsaber that has a cross. It's like, you just made it to, what, you'd hurt your hand. You'd burn your fucking hand. No, apparently it's safer that way,

because the other lightsaber's like, it could just slide down and cut off your it's safer that way, because the other lights' safer is like, it could just slide down and cut off your wrist. If that way, it's kind of like a real sword, you know? Yeah, but your hand slips up. There's no protection. You're gonna fucking burn your thumb up. It doesn't slip up a sword, though. Yeah, it does.

If you ever fought some of the sword, I have. You have a problem? Yes, I was a professional sword fighter in France for three years. And that was a fucking whistle champion and Denmark for fucking 1992 93 94 I skipped the year in 96 I won the world championship Thank you I already have it Don't fuck you for just pure fucking enthusiasm. I shouldn't get the

Just the originality that I tried something different. So I don't think it was that good. Did you see it? I don't care. Really? I don't care. I mean, I don't give a fuck in. You don't care? I mean, I like that I watch it.

I'm a huge starwars fan. I would have liked to see, you know, like, Mark Campbell or something. Yes. Why? I like I would like to see you know like Mark Hamill or something like Why because that he was a part of the original trilogy now they're bringing him back That's what's exciting. I don't want to see the new joy that's like a little helmet on top of a soccer ball I want to see like R2 fucking D2. Yeah, here's here. Why go down the same old world Here's a mold wall. They're in the movie here. This thing too. The whole thing's the mold wall. They're in the movie. Here's this thing too. The whole thing's the same. It's all the same.

They showed us the soccer ball. It's in the future now, correct? So they didn't advance the fucking robots. They still beat up and shitty kind of robots. Well, that was kind of the problem when they had the prequels, right? That it looked all so much better than like, oh, like, how does it look better in the past?

Now we're going to do the future and it looks shit. I don't get it. Did you see the trailer teaser though, where they, someone else made it, where it was like the George Lucas remastered version, and it just has a bunch of like special effects in every scene, but no reason to do that. And not the one, we sleep down.

Hey, you argue about me not talking that you're talking that you're talking about. I don't know how I do it. Jonathan came alive with this last topic. I know, you're always so good. I was there about comedians killing themselves killing themselves It was coming to the head Dude, are you sad dude? I'm a sad guy, yeah

Are you really brittle? Yeah, are we all sad? You have nothing to be sad about You're a very funny guy You're very original I worked with the stress factory And you're very original You're very funny, you just got to keep fucking plugging away like the rest of us.

I appreciate that. Star Wars, which you guys do not learn, I got the link video. The prequel is actually in the future and the future is actually a prequel. I didn't get that. All right, listen, I want to literally... I want to literally... That's the bomb that I'm right here. No, that's what happened. And there's that joke.

I want to leave. I want to leave. I like the Jurassic World trailer a lot. Yeah, that's what happened. And that is that joke. I want to leave. I want to leave. I like the Jurassic World trailer a lot. That look really good. Yeah, that look pretty good. Jurassic World look good. But I mean, Deadpool and...

I got it. Where can I find it? And Avengers looks fine. You can find the line. The Deadpool trailer is awesome because it wasn't supposed to be released and it was released. We were riding Reynolds and so... When you say it wasn't really, what do you it was released and just Ryan Reynolds is so What do you say what do you mean they would not gonna make the movie? Yeah, they weren't they made this like test footage for a movie that they

wanted to Here's what here's what gonna happen. They don't want to make a R-rated movie dead pool dead pool the character is fucking violent. Oh yeah, he's a fucking lunatic lunatic. Yeah, so so they didn't want to make a movie on R-rated movie and then all of a sudden they they released All these other movies and what was the one? Kickass which was which is what they were like oh, well, maybe this will work because that's an R-rated fucking comic book And it was a great movie and it did great so now they're like we could make an R-rated

superhero keep the integrity of Deadpool and And make a lot of fucking money off it and Ryan rail just the shit Let me ask you this help a little bit better than Superman versus Batman or the Avengers 2 Avengers 2 Avengers 2 Avengers H. There's no way you there's no way Batman I like Ben and in movies and stuff but there's no way he's gonna he did it He did it and it sucked. He played fucking daredevil. Daredevil and I was like, that was one of the jacked up with it.

That was one of the jacked up with it. But it wasn't his fault that daredevil movie sucked. Like he didn't write it and direct it, you know. Yeah, but he actually did it. First of all, is that what's wrong with the movie? I'm sorry, what is, I'm sorry, stop one second. What did you say? He acted it.

I'm sorry, what did you say? He what? He acted it. I'm sorry, all right. I'll hang on one second. He, I'm sorry, what did you say he what he acted it? I'm sorry. I'll write that down for the hang on one second I'm sorry. What did he say he what he acted it? He acted in the sense of act I said the dead in I now What there we go he what acted it is that to eat these? It's he was there we go he what acted it is at two E.Ds

Is that acted E.D? He acted it in a galaxy far far far is that like fucking lots and lots of come? Fuck oh my god, I think will might be lots and lots of come That street name's taking I'm gonna be lots lots lots of come Lots of lots of come all right. We know he repeats words. Yeah, he harasses Liz. Yeah He told me yeah, what else do we need yeah lots of we're talking about lots and lots of gizz Whatever wait are you gonna hold this one bad movie that beddin half a day 20 years ago? It's like it's like a comedian in

2002 say that didn't do well. You see him now, like, man, dude, I say 2002. You wasn't that great. Let it go. The laugh lounge even closed well. All right. I had a bad step at night. Listen, here's a deal. Ben is not, you can't follow what they just did with Batman with Ben. That's all I'm saying. You reinvented how comic books movies were made with the Batman Begins. You made a comic book and you took a drama action and they combined in them and they set up Iron Man, they set up the event, they set up everything. So now these comic book movies are actually great movies. You can take away the superhero powers

And it's actually a thriller and a drama and an action. It's not just this goofy thing. It's actually based in reality so we can suspend our reality and believe for a second that this could possibly exist Okay, and now what they did with Batman one two and three and I know they all weren't great one and two were amazing three was mediocre How are you gonna replace that with that's like doing that's like the godfather without mall and Brando I mean you can't it's those three movies It just happened in our lifetime you need to wait a little longer and redo it with something Good and I'll go You need to wait a little longer and redo it with something else. Would you be good in all go? Yeah, he was a good drama movie. Yes or no?

Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes or no? Okay, oh yes. Okay, yes. He was good. So, but good.

So, he was good. A great drama movie actor. A great superhero. Yep. Put them together and you get a wife. I hate you. That's what you're got. You're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're together and you get a wife I hate you that's what you're yet is he you're a you're you're a logic you you you remind me the guy who shot who shot people in New York City and then defendant itself what was his name all

that shot on the L.I.O. yeah that's who you remind me of that's your logic is beneficial directing badman no no what's not her is directing are you all right not directly the fucking gone Girl and Argo, and they're both one Academy Awards. Yeah, what's he, David Gone, Batman versus a big different director. Dude, big different directors are already directing, but I think he's gonna do a good job.

I think everybody wants to hit on Aflux. I know it's hard to fill Christian Bale shoes and Christopher Nolan did such a great job, but that's why they're not doing like a straight up Batman movie and it's just like Batman meets Superman and Wonder Woman's in it, and we're gonna throw in the flash and captain marble I hope I hope but doesn't I feel like they're compensating when they have all that

You're can I just say something though you're a huge Batman fan. That's why who may you I'm not used right I'm not being big Marvel fan big that matter Incredible hoax is my is my dude right I know that all their movies bomb. I love because they got wrong. What? No, they did. They did. I thought I saw all the Avengers. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Do you go ahead, Bobby? Go ahead. First of all, movies not do well. Yeah, they weren't that good. I think they all they all did well. They did well. They just weren't they did. They didn't do the Hulk well and comic book fans, especially, well, like this is bullshit. But in the last

Avengers movie, they was the best part of They did they figured out Hulk. Yeah, they figured out they got the right person to play him But they also figured out how to do him so he's not he was the best now they're actually gonna do planning I'm not like into like comic book movies at all like I just like listen to you guys but that Avengers movie that Hulk at the end of the movie was like Cool as fuck. Should you get angry? Should you get angry right now? That's the cat and I'm always Mark Ruffalo was on fall and he was talking about how he went to his kids school and one of the kids friends was like Oh my god, you're the Hulk. He's like be the Hulk and Mark Ruffalo is like okay and Ruffalo star I mean like and the kids started freaking out like Like, no, no, don't do it.

Yeah. Hold on, hold on, bandana, bandana. It's on you. That's a story. I thought I was just- I can't see if you have a bandana. He was saying that. No, he wasn't trying to be funny.

He was trying to tell a funny story that wasn't that funny. That's not his fault. That's fucking Mark Ruffiel's fault for doing- I thought the AdNorton Hulk movie wasn't that bad. I mean, the Anglican was too dramatic and the way they tried to make it like a comic book. When he was a Hulk, he leaked the first Hulk movie's side. Now that's the one, hold on, Banna.

He's the one that made all the nerds fear. Yeah, Banna sucked. Why? Because the fucking dogs and the weird dad and the fucking. They just picked the wrong, really. They fucked up. The Hulk cannot be by himself. Fucking dogs and the weird dad and the fucking they just picked the wrong The Hulk cannot be by himself. He was not angry No, but he will be but they picked the wrong

And that first Hulk movie he was never angry. Like like the, on the, on the whole thing he was like, ah, but the other Hulk with the, with the Anglic, you're like, eh, eh. Well, listen, I don't, listen. I'm gonna, we're gonna go out on that note, whatever that note was. I'm gonna let people live. Let's go to the chat room real quick.

What are they saying? Give me a second. Bobby, how's the show going? What are you going to show us playing? Are you playing the drums? You will see me playing the drums on the hit show on FX called Sex Drugs and Rock'a Roll. I don't know when the air date is. I think they're going to change it up, but it's coming out 2015 and you'll see me play the drums. I know what you're saying. When and you'll see me play the drums i know you say what i'm really gonna play the drums look i right now and uh... uh... you know i'm uh... lip-syncing playing the drums on television

and because of all the shots to you don't really get to play uh... you know get to play full through the whole song very rarely also uh... the girl singing uh... uh... liz uh... g the girl who's singing Liz Gilles who's amazing. She really sings sometimes so I have to pantomime hitting. I can't hit anything because she's really singing. So in the show I don't get to play that much but I might I think maybe in the next few months maybe play here maybe bring a

kid in and I'll play put a little video me playing a song or something I suck so I don't you want to see a sucky drummer I'll let you see that in a couple months but right now I don't have time I got a bunch of shit I gotta get my ass wet tonight I gotta get me drum rehearsals in the morning I drum rehearsals today for three to three hours and another one before I came here for a half hour I gotta learn lines I'm. I got a bunch of shit I have to do. So let's wrap this up. Let's go around.

Oh, I almost threw up on my mouth. Dave, what do you got? What, were just plugs? Yep, was there? Follow me on Twitter, Comic Dave Smith, and as I said before, check out my other podcast, Legion of Skanks and part of the problem. Yeah, great man.

Great stuff man. Always pleasure having you on. Always fucking really funny guy. And I love when you come on. Well what do you got? We'll silvents and we'll silvents to be I L S Y L V I C I think I'm be at Caroline's with Damon Wayne's in a couple of weeks also I'll be at the commie seller New Year's nice and uh... that's it awesome well fucking hilarious i mean and your stand-up is so much better than it used to be

i mean you're really funny now i'm believe you know you fucking kill it all the time you have one of the funniest guys around right now you're really fucking hit the next level so thanks coming on again do it i fucking love having you on the show i mean i don't understand some of it But it makes me laugh. What do you got at Jonathan Randall on Twitter every Thursday night in the lower side

39 Essex Street point of no return comedy show free you can check out my podcast your mother's basement on iTunes All right, dude. Thanks for coming on bro. It was good seeing you again, man Yeah, you come on anytime all right, we'll have you back on all right? Absolutely, bro and fucking keep you chin up You know if you ever get you know fucked up make sure you reach out, you know, you can call me Yeah, you can call Will okay Well, scopo and if it's really important tell scopo and he'll get to me and then we'll I mean appreciate that. If it's really bad, just say orange. And then I'll know.

But if it's not, just talk to the couple. No, dude, seriously, man, we're all been there. We've all been in fucking, I mean, I'm talking the biggest stars you know. And if all, we've all been fucked up, man. We've all been in sad places. Very rarely, you're never gonna find somebody that's never been fucked up in sad. That's why we do what we do. That's what we're these fucking, you know, we're trying

to find funny in the weirdest fucked up places and bring it to people so they don't have to feel as fucked up as we do sometimes. But know that you never alone, bro, and you know, make sure you always reach out. Don't, don't fucking keep that shit inside and don't fucking let it build up, you know what I mean? Cause we need to hear that shit because if somebody else, it's like, I feel the same fucking way, you asshole and it needs to get it out too, all right brother? Cool, thank you Bobby.

You got it man. What do you got, babe? How do I do a plug after that? Just give me a hug, Liz. I know, really. My CD comes out tomorrow, it's called Emotion. It's on iTunes Amazon CDbaby.com. I have a monthly variety show at my little sister. It's called the Milly Sisters variety show. She's a jazz singer. She closes every show and I host it and it's comics magic music and then

at Liz Mealy on Twitter. It's Liz Mealy everything. And then I also have an animated web series that's complete, the first season's complete, StamagedWebSeries.com. Where can they see that? DamagedWebSeries.com, our YouTube Backslash DamagedWebSeries. It's a kid show, it's about robots. All right, cool. Make sure you check around.

And don't be a fucking hack. Don't be fucking just go buy our CD. You know she's funny. She hung up in here with us, and I appreciate you coming in. Nothing's happening. And and then hanging out. I love when fucking chicks come in and I love when girls come in and fucking Don't take shit, you know what I mean because it's it's you know, this is a fun show, man I like it to be fun for everybody Stop trying to kiss ass now web series damage web series dot com god love all but i'll be talking about love

stop trying to kiss ass now like that lady who made fun of the obama kids now you can find jesus in the show i love all but uh... now thanks coming on alright you got it what do you got uh... scopo is getting on twitter at christ school can you fucking get a gig please i have gigs but i don't fucking public Why wouldn't people would love to come see you?

Just because they're free. That hurt. Where are they? I'm sorry, where are they? Where are you every fucking week? Where? This Thursday I'll be, where? I'll be in Westchester with Andrew Schultz.

Where? I don't know, in some bar in Westchester, putting for him. They're not knowing part really makes the Big part of a Twitter Thursday Fuck this is the most important thing of the show. This is we can get I'm not the guy. I'm just hosting it. You're such a major part of this show.

I know. And people will come see you, and then you'll fucking be the guy. Is that how it works? Not for you, but for me and Dave and other people. All right, that it. Yeah, all right, what do you got, Torety? You can follow me on Twitter at r2dp, this was our first time streaming in 1080p and it was a success So that's great news

Yeah, it'd be great if people watching right now could just right click on the video click stats for nerds And they can take a screenshot of that send me that data tell me where you live I want to like make sure it goes well for everybody and Thank everyone for being in the chat the discussion continues on our Reddit page. It is completely fan run for being in the chat. The discussion continues on our Reddit page. It is completely fan-run. We have very minimal involvement. I just dropped the video link in there. And it's great. A lot of great contributors. We've got Barionny Evangelist, Ben and Zarbay. So a lot of fun over there. And that's it for me. Technical coordinator.

Coordinator. Deepu is kicking ass, man. You really pulled it together. Like I said, I really want to do this. So I'm really fucking... Yeah, I like... First time I've been on since he's here and I like this guy He's not only great, but I push him I push him and he fucking comes through and he's you're doing great buddy The fucking the computer we built for the HD like until we pulled it off. I was pretty scared about it So I'm glad it worked out because I told him he was gonna have to pay for it. Yeah, well, yeah, it didn't work Yeah, and he did it didn't work. Yeah.

And he can't afford that. Yeah. All right, what do I got for dates? Oh, make sure before my shit, please go to RyeCast and YKWDGiftDrive and tell your friends, just buy one fucking gift for these kids. The address is there, you go on Amazon, you pick a gift off of the page that we have,

and that's it. I'll go to tweakedaudio.com, buy a pair of headphones for you, the address is there, you go on Amazon, you pick a gift off of the page that we have and that's it. I'll go to tweakedaudio.com, buy a pair of headphones for you under the YKWD GIFs and put that code word in and you get one sent to us. It's all on the page so please make sure you find the information or it's in front of the show you've heard it, go there. What do I got for Gix? December 19th, you get the paramount and hunting ten new york

huge gig long island around isn't it it's in the round me dan sotter and joe list to a fucking the truth and a k monstervoys of this podcast we are fucking out at this unbelievable theater in long island so make sure you get your tickets now because it's gonna fucking half-cell and it's gonna fucking half sell. And you wanna sit up front, you wanna sit like in the middle.

The 731st, they can be a New Zeb, you get the comedy connection. Comedy connection in Rhode Island, which I love, so make sure you get your tickets for that, that's gonna be a blast. If you wanna do something where you check, have a good night, maybe I'll see if Scopo can uh fucking drive me there yeah I'm kidding dude I'm okay I'll see if you can go on the show if you want free show's free that night yeah you want to go you want to come with me do you want to go with me yeah yeah I'm gonna work that out maybe me and Scopo will be the finuous all right we'll suck each other off fucking Edo this is why I suck coach goose cock

Like that and then like that cuz he's got a big helmet like his hips and then I go to his nuts What do you want to keep bombing in this? No, it's gonna suck your dick I Got January 23rd Where did you get fucking Adam and aunt jacket? Wow, can you one time that for me was it the aunt of the adamant? We said too many relatives too many if I give you that fucking bed then I'm gonna put it on my head Please go ahead keep fucking talking where am I?

January 23rd and 24th bananas bananas and Hasbrook Heights. Yeah, and then... Love bananas! You'll be on that show. I love that fucking place. Bananas is awesome. That's March 6th and 7th, the only 10 draft house in Virginia. I like to drought.

That's a fucking awesome gig too. I can't believe I booked that. You guys are the best. Thank you so much. Have a great week. Make sure you're buying a gift for a kid. Spread the word. Support all these comics You guys are the best. Thank you so much. Have a great week. Make sure you buy a gift for a kid. Spread the word. Support all these comics that are on the show.

You're the best fans ever. Thank you. You know what, dude? Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet.

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