Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Lull-less

Episode Date: November 7, 2016

Lull-less This week on YKWD: We have Judy Gold, Brandon Collins, Mike Brown, and Stavros Halkias! After a sentimental goodbye to Scopo, we talk to Judy / Carol about her illustrious career, how she annoys Bobby, and how she deals with career-lull! We also education-shame Stavros for not having a degree! Watch / Listen and enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? Y no lo sé, dude. ¡On the Riotcast Network! Riotcast.com.

¡Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth! This is going to be a cost of fire. This podcast has no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already said, should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? No, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic-ass.

I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's... ...tabbed no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin. I love doing it I Want to do you think my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know Oh My god anyways

Good members, she said hit the fucking the Space bar that was to test the sound Mother fucker happens, bro. Look at I blame women I know you want to blame me, but it's not your time. So we got the sound you can take the first Whatever alright, so here's a thing you might have noticed that somebody's not here tonight By the lack of gravitational pull in the road and the seat is very low. It's much lower than the others. Anyway. Chris Coppo, who I love dearly, we all love,

has decided that it is in his best interest to kind of take, to go and be a comic. Go do his thing. He's got a lot of stuff going on his life right now yeah And the time investment of working on this show is fucking mess up my speech I don't know what fucking Adderall you took today, but I'm giving a speech and when Bobby gives speeches You left the speed no matter how boring the speech is the Hindu backs down. Yes, not the Hindu backs down You let the speech go. Okay, you're right. You want some music?

You want some music? I would love some music. Do we have any music? Some sad music? Because I'm very sad. I'm very sad. His farts must have been crazy. Remember any wore this hat? Yeah. Remember when he wore this hat? Remember when he wore this hat? He put it on

his little perfect hair. He ruined his hair for us. Yeah. Chris Scopo has decided to move on to not greener pastures. There's probably actually no food at all in the pasture he's going to. He's moving on to another pasture. That's equally grain. He's going on to do his home thing. He's going on to, he left the shell. Like many people before him have left the shell. Ebs and flows. And you think they're going to be there forever, right Bob?

No, I know you're going to. I can't wait till butule. Ebs and flows and you think they're gonna be there forever right Bob? No, I know you're gonna I can't wait till butule I wish it was you to You know I'm joking yeah, I know I can know Anyways, I'm sad because Chris was many for a long time. It feels like someone died. Well, he He's um he booked a show for a long time. He took over for Kelly Fistilka. Hello, Bobby. Hey.

We got to hurt. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him.

We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him.

We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. We got to hurt him. And he took over Kelly's job and I remember when he first started the job He was fucking man so stupid and dummy didn't know what he was doing and when he left he was the same He was The waters Oh, you just as dumb as him with tits. I'm kidding. I can't say that anymore, right? No, I'll get in trouble I'm his him with tits. I'm kidding. I can't say that anymore, right? No.

I'll get in trouble. No. Of course, I love the kid. He's a great kid loyal as a mother fucking. Very. As a soldier. I love him still. And he helped the show get to the next level.

Yeah. And he was always there for you. And I'm always there for him now. And he will still help me on the show. Not a lot. But he'll be on the show not a lot but he'll be on the show once a year. Wow. Once every three years. Okay. Oh, you meant while the other way. That's impressive. No, once a year he'll be back. He'll be back on but he'll be back on as a guest, which would be weird. That's a big that's a big step. When Kelly came back on

as a guest. And I wish she was an intern again because she was funny. No, I'm kidding. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. When Kelly came back on as a guest, and I wish she was an intern again, because she was funnier. No, kidding. She, huh.

Kelly got way funnier. Kelly got way funnier after she left the show. I think what happens with the show, sometimes you need to go. Yeah. When you're a comic, sometimes you gotta go take off. No. The idea is run out. It just becomes a thing that you do, because he's such a good guy.

Yeah. And he's got a lot going on right now, and I wish him the best. Chris Scopo, I love you buddy. I love you brother. God bless you and whatever other thing you're doing life. And I wanna rest the... We're gonna retire a mic.

We're gonna retire the mic tonight. The Scopo mic. It's gonna unretire next week, but we're gonna sleep. He actually, he retired it when he sat at it three years ago. He retired that microphone. That is the, that's like a brand new mic. Unused basically. We get to sell this as new on eBay. Yeah, that's, it's never been used.

We're gonna, we're gonna actually put this over Chris Scopo's mic. And we're gonna take a moment of silence. All right, Pete. Put it over there, please. We'll put this over Christopher's mic. Christopher P. Scopo. Is that his middle name? Christopher J. What's the middle name? Christopher.

No idea. N. Scopo. And that's Mike. Wow. Sorry. You're gonna get in trouble tonight. I might. Christopher Scopo.

We love you. We love you We admire you and we will see you again someday soon Moment of silence for Chris Cooper everybody Turn the AC off or we do a silence. Oh, sorry Right, that's enough. I That was the shortest moment We have can you close up on his microphone? See, usually when somebody's, you know, the close up on the speech and then you move on

when we start, you'll learn the fucking video. I hate you already. I love you. I love you, so, uh, Chris Gopo, there you go, buddy. Deepo sitting on the show today. Yeah, man. Out from behind the video, we got Lauren, AKA, Fistuka, Doos. Well, did you want to do the segment we planned for Scopo?

What is that? 10 things, oh, this is a very good idea. Yeah, I would like to, we wanted to talk about the Scopo, not 10 bad things, 10 things we liked about Scopo. And if you're in the chat room and you have something about Scopo that you liked. Absolutely, chime in. Please chime in. Here we go, some more sad music. like the boat scopo. And if you're in the chat room and you have something about scopo that you liked.

Absolutely, chime in. Please chime in. Here we go. Some more sad music. Is this happy music or sad? This is all sad. Oh, sad, cause it's a sad day. Hashtag sad.

Hashtag sad scopo. Hashtag crying fat ass. All right, so one thing I liked about scopo was, that he was a real New Yorker. Yeah, you know There's a lot of people like when I'm doing comedy in New York city I meet a lot of people that pretend to be New Yorkers. Yeah, pretend like fucking get it. Yeah That was not the case with him. He was we're on the same page in a lot of ways Yeah, you know like if we if either of us saw cocaine at a party we wouldn't like shit our pants

We're like yeah, that's fucking cocaine. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it was a tough hard New Yorker. Cocaine didn't scare him. One thing I liked about Scopo, if he needed him, he'd be there. Yeah. As long as it wasn't comedy-wise. Or technology. Like funny, like, technology. Or, no. Analog, anything.

Yeah, no, he was there for me. Anytime I needed that kid. I mean mean yeah, he killed my lawn twice God, he fucking murdered my lawn But he was there for you anytime he needed him Lauren. Yeah, you got anything he always knows like all the neighborhoods and we're to eat in the good places He knew the good places to eat. He always knew what the good places to eat What was this paper on me? No, he knew what's he took me a donut pop. You didn't take me to don't pop baby. I took him But that's what I like scope of

It's fucking me to don't know, but that's through me He didn't even don't exist. He grew up here. I found it fucking eight days of living here. It's me I'll take you I'll take you I can't eat He will take it a done up up. Yeah, there's no days of living here. But he took me. It's me. I'll take you. I can't eat you now. He will take you to Donopop. There's no Donopop. What are you going to do when I'm hot again? Oh, talk about that later.

What are you going to do when I'm hot again? I don't know. We'll see. What are you going to get? Take my chances. Another thing I like about Scopo is that he probably knew someone that died in 9-11. That's... It's likable.

Yeah. I feel bad for the guy. I bet he didn't. I, um... One thing I like about Scopo, another thing. Oh, one thing I like about Scopo. We should do this every week, that way. That's my favorite thing ever.

One thing I like about most, Gopo, is anytime you're set to be hungry, he go, I could eat, and he would eat. Yeah. That's big. Yeah. He would eat a dozen wings. Yeah, just eat.

Like half an hour. Yeah, and then go to the gym, and it did literally nothing. He would just get just bulkier. Yeah. Yeah, what do you get? He was a really good parallel parker Parallel park my car really good. I want to just a sled from Jersey

Pack the car well He said that's impressive you like a guy. Oh my god I found love with you to your father because he could parallel park like no other parallel park like no other. Fuck. He's a driver. Good parker. And he knows all the spots in New York. Oh, damn.

Good. I like Scopo because he got a bachelor's degree from Sacred Heart University. What is that? What? I like Scopo. One of the things, one thing I like about Scopo. Yeah.

As I like that, I like that youopo. Yeah. As I like that, uh, I like that you never shaved the back of that hair right above his asshole on the back. He just left it. You know what I mean, that takes, that takes fucking some tram stamp area. Yeah, he had like a hair tram, a tram stamp made a hair. And I like that because that showed, you know,

like I don't care, you know, I don look, I don't care. You know, I don't care. I agree. I mean, you know, it's just he left that little patch of it. So anytime you pick up something in the studio, I'd have to look over and just see that hobbit ass. Well, you don't have to look Bob. Well, it says you. You had a father growing up. Go ahead. I like that scope. Oh, you really knows everyone. He'll introduce you. He's got balls Um, I like that scope bow. He really knows everyone. He'll introduce you. He's got balls.

He'll go up to anyone. He'll introduce himself. I've seen him. He's good with girls too. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's shows like we'll have like four women in the audience there to see him. Yeah. Like he finds people on Bumble and he gets from the shows.

Yeah. Guys, that's not, I mean, anybody could do that. It's Bumble. Okay. When I did it, you that. It's bumble. Okay, when I did it You did it with confidence and magic Okay, I got pussy with fucking stories. I didn't go on my phone. I could get fucking nine chicks down here too Put a clip of Louis up. Hey Sorry, no, it's things that we like about him. Maybe they start what I like about him

But what do you got deeper one more thing? Sorry, my thing, it's not a one second. He, uh, he currently, he's currently in Joe Lists' old apartment. Why don't, are you switching cameras at all? I mean, Deepa was talking and you're on my side fat. Sorry. Fuck.

He's also responsible for the funniest opening shot of YKWD. I've ever shot. What is that? It was an episode Mike Brown was on actually, like in the old studio. Yeah. I had this sliding track shot. Yeah. And I told scope it'll wait.

Yeah. Before he runs into the shot. Yeah. And he just waddles in in front of it. He really did a lot of waddling. Did he do a lot of waddling? No, he walked very slow. Ah!

Yeah. I wish this was things I hate about Scopo. I never, we could literally do the whole show without anybody tonight. No. But one thing I love about Scopo, the last thing I'll talk about tonight, the one thing I love about Scopo. OK. I'm out. Ah.

I'm out. I've got nothing. No. I'm kidding. The one thing I love about Scopo is how much he loved doing the show. Yeah. I'm out. I'm out. I got nothing. I'm kidding. The one thing I love about Scopo is how much he loved doing the show. Yeah. He really loved doing YKWD.

Every week, he loved being here, being a part of it. And I got a letter from Kelly Fistuka, actually. Oh, let's read it real quick. Before we bring the guests up. Let's read it real quick. Okay. She wrote me a fucking essay. All right.

Question. She does that to everybody. Kelly, I had to tell her to stop texting me. Call me. I'd rather have this on a conversation. It would go quicker than reading your fucking monologues. She wrote me two chunks. I'm going to read the first chunk.

Read a chunk. Okay. Especially coming from Kelly. Do you have a better option in accent than I do? Hello. No, you read it. It's funnier when you don't have a good one. Hello.

What the fuck? Oh yeah, this is like Mrs. Dow fire. go ahead. We should have she Jason Shadfield today Um, I know scope oh hates hearing this But when the phone when the show started to get bigger and I needed help Scopo was my first choice to ask if he would like to be involved and be part of the YKWD team I never knew he would fuck up as much as he did But I did ask him because he was a good dude who walked hard and he worked as guts out. It's no secret that he and I battled and I want to kill him a lot, but his intentions were always in a good place.

You're English? I don't know what you are. I changed territories. I've heard them in the range. Early American. Like, 1920s. Hello, lovely. Come in. I wish Chris all the best. Success and happiness.

Yeah. As I hear he's moving on from the show, definitely know that making a decision is an incredibly hard one. He was for me. She actually just talks about herself. That's what he realizes. She's a comic.

It was for me. I would like talked about herself. That's what I realized. Yeah, she's a comic. It was for me. I would like to come back and feel my shoes. She's actually back in town. All right. She just appears out of nowhere in robes like Obi-Wan Kenobi. Give me advice. Weird. Anyway, I'm gonna just skip a bunch here and just go,

good luck your dirty queen's piece of trash. Love you, Bob. See, it makes about you at the end. Of course she shows. She knows how to fuck and get back in the scope. Good luck, your dirty queen's piece of trash. Love you, Bob. See, it makes about you at the end. Of course she shows. She knows how to fucking get back on the show. Missy guys, Kelly. All right. Well, there you go.

Chris Gopo is, his, serve honorably. His mic there. We were tying this mic tonight in order of Chris Gopo. So yeah, you will be missed, brother. We have a great show tonight We we must move on very quickly. Nice if we didn't move on cuz scopo is not here if the show just if I just shut it down

Yeah, you're like it's not worth it. It's not worth it So what we do with this desk? So I don't know man. We'd have to saw this fucking thing apart that painting god. There's so much shit up here I would like to We have a beautiful show tonight. I would like to I had another thought but I we have a great show tonight I'm very excited about tonight show because First of all we have Oscars on the couch. He's hanging out who's a Friend of mine from San Antonio, Texas now living here going to journalism school. He's gonna. He's doing

He's a tech guy. He's doing a podcast with Deepu What's the podcast called again called Geeks of New York Geeks of New York, which I love And you guys should do it episode up here one time. I'd love to see that. Yeah, we'd love to our video would be way better if we shot it in here Yeah, you should do it So let's introduce some of these guests right now Come on, sit down, guys. Lauren, introduce the guests. I have you in that seat, the far one over there. As far away from here as possible, please.

Yeah, we retired this microphone. Where's the thing? Put that on there. This Chris Skopo's microphone is retired. It's actually, put it over the mic, please. Put it over the mic. Yeah, over the mic. That mic is retired for tonight.

You sit right there at Chris's mic. It's retired, but we're just for a couple of seconds. We got to introduce everybody, please. Sure. Right in front of me, we have Brandon Collins. Yay, boys and girls. We're good to have you back, buddy. Yeah, good to see you, dude.

Why are you dressing real ghetto? Yeah, I'm stucked up a little bit. What happened? Would you get a talking to from Chris? Oh, no, I'm getting married now, so I got to like, step up my maturity. Is she black? She's for the rig.

But she looks black though. She looks black though. Shut up, man. She's black. Who else we got? To his left, we have regular YKWD or Mike Brown. Yo, yo, yo, yo, what's up, y'all? I'm back, man.

Real quick. Bla-bla-bla, you know what it is, man. Put some urban on the shelf. I mean, you, what's up? Yo, I'm back, man real quick. But you know what it is, you know, it's my urban on the show. I mean, he, you know what, daddy, but he's so daddy. He just, you call him a regular. You should call him a regular. They're both regular.

No, you can't take the ship. Sorry. No, I'm glad I can't see the face. Uh, we get another special guest coming up. She's not here yet. Yep, Judy Gold's on her way. She's going to text me when she gets there. Well, I was going make it a surprise. I'm gonna make it a surprise.

Look at that. Fucking wow. Grantees Lauren. Why'd she just go sit at the scope of... Oh no. This may be the Judy Gold's first appearance on the show, I believe, right? Oh. Yes.

I don't know. I don't know. Let me tell you, when she comes in, it's gonna be fucking crazy. All right, I'm just warning you now. Do you know Judy? I'm excited. You know Judy. Who just warning you now. Do you know Judy? Who knows Ray Jan if you know Judy I know she is you know, have you met her no? Okay? I have a mech. I'm so excited All right big fan here. We got it's gonna be crazy. She's gonna scream. She's gonna yell Might bite, but she's a sweetest sweetest people. Oh, that's what deep up on the end

Yeah, how nerds protect nerds Who else do we got over here? We got Stave baby. Hello everyone I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie. I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie. I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie. I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie. I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie.

I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie. I'm going to be a little bit more about the story of the movie. I woke up this morning, I started writing, I came in, I did therapy, came down here, made a million phone calls, did a minute, took care of like fucking 20 different things. And then I came down and I met you, did the videos for the tour, for the, the laugh button. True story tour.

Which is Michigan this weekend. Oh shit. Yeah, we're gonna mission this weekend. We're doing a bunch of you. What's the date? We get over there. We get up. We're in Michigan, yeah.

I'm gonna tell you right now. See, it over to him now I'm going over here so he has time and so here we go here's Judy Gold coming up right now let me get this out of way attention fantasy football football league commissioner it's time to restore the position of commissioner to its former glory by giving the people what they want a fresh start with the new leagues featured at at DraftKings.com. You can play one week private contest with your friends whenever you want. No more breaking up fights over free agents or smoothing over petty grudges. No more listening to your leg mates complain about their draft day bus or worrying about that

number one running back has become a part of a running back by committee. Shake things up. Take the reins and start a new league. A league. It's like Mel Kuiper's first 80s. PN. Whoops. Sorry. This is for money. This is money. I had him for years. They like they love us. Hey, Judy. No, that's not how it works. Sorry, buddy. I was trying to get read and before Judy came up to show us some respect. Sorry, Judy.

Sit down, right? You're right across from me, baby. I have respect for you right now. Can I just finish this? I'm gonna feed this read real quick, all right? I love you. Let's shake things up. Take the reins and start a new league. A league where you and your friends get to pick a new team each week. Each week you want to play just pick a new team. How

amazing is that? That's why I love draft Kings. It's not this whole long season and everything's on one big thing at the end. Every week you pick a new team. Okay, listen, here, it's not too late. All right, it's not too late to save the season. All you have to do is this, go to your friends at DraftKings, that's it, DraftKings. Don't wait, hurry up, DraftKings.com and save your season, set up your league two day. Your friends, well thank you for everything

that you do for them when you go there and set up a new league at the promo code Kelly. Play free. That's right. Free F-R-E-E capitals exclamation for a bang with your first deposit that's Kelly to play for free at draft Kings dot com draft Kings dot com eligibility restrictions may apply for the details and join us. Hey, baby. How are you? You know, my son, both of them are obsessed with this NFL draft craft. Yeah, well, it's crazy. And here's the thing is that I don't, I think I have a three year old to not obsess over this. Oh, you just wait. Why? What are you talking about? You wait till the three year old gets over. Oh yeah, I don't give a shit.

It's so, it's like, what are you talking about? I had to keep it, I was 43. I'll be 67. I'll be in a chair going, be drooling into the cheesies. Why don't you have a cheery egg when he had me? As you have a mic on, can you help her with a mic? Yeah, make sure that's right. Yeah, I trust that.

Oh, be nice. I'm talking to her. I can't hear a fucking thing out of these things. I can't really hear you. All right, we can't hear a fucking thing out of me here. All right. We can hear anybody. Oh great great I get out here and there's no fucking Mike there goes How's that better? Yeah bitches It's exclamation not exclamation. No, but I said it as a character that would say Accompanied

I don't ever fucking tell me what tell me how to put my process I'll talk to her. Listen. Listen. Um hi honey. Hi, boo boo baby. Good. Good. I'm on a fucking bike. We um, what we're talking about? Oh, draftings.

I wanted to my cigar place this morning up in my house, which I'm stuck. I was kind of weird for me for a minute because I go there and it just be like in their house, which I was kind of weird for me for a minute because I go there and it just be like, all these alpha male smoking and I'd show up with my little computer writing jokes. Hi guys, but now I kind of like it.

I went up to this morning and they were fucking, that's all they were talking about. And they're fighting, like, you fucking, you cheated, and they're like, I don't fuck the way you cheat on fucking the fan. I should probably, yeah. You picked, and it's like, you guys are fighting about it.

How old is this? You're fighting about a game that doesn't exist. How old is this? They're 40, 50, 60. You see the same shit on play games online and stuff like that, so. But I know, but here's the thing with this, why I kind of do like it.

I like this fantasy thing because it makes people not so invested in one team Where it's like fuck you if you don't like the Miami Dolphins, right? You kind of they like all teams now because they take players from each Team somebody wants everybody wants Brady. Did you there was an article on the post Washington Post yesterday? About how the viewership For the NFL has gone way way way down Yeah, because of like the injuries and like the right and it's just not fun.

And like, well, yeah, and it's not fun. People say it's just not entertaining. I mean, you can watch violence. You can watch you have seen or hockey. Oh, yeah, yeah, but hockey not violent anymore. Neither they took a fight. They're not talking about. They don't show it.

The camera will go to the fucking well. He'll do me. I don't understand how to play in the hockey. Why? What is it? You're playing a game and then you beat the, all right, you're a designated beat the shit out of that. Descending beat the shit out of person. Okay, listen to me.

Yeah. I'm going to explain it to you. Okay. So I am. I'm going to explain. Okay. So you got a guy, you got a little guy like to you, okay? Explain? So I am, I'm gonna explain. Okay. So you got a guy, you got a little guy, like Deepu, right? You know how to fucking, like do all the technical stuff from the wires in.

I got a guy like Mike, big guy, comes up with little Star Rose, Greek little killer. And they start fucking, they start making fun of my little nerd guy. And then they come in, they push him into the wall. Deserves it. I'm gonna come over and come in, they push him into the wall. Right, right, right. I'm gonna come over and go,

mother fucka, smash him in the face. You don't fuck with my little Indian kid. Hey, Crimes. This is how Rocky works. Right, right, right. And then he can't break like hockey for Johnny. That would do. And then he's gonna go fuck you,

and then we're gonna fight. And then they're gonna let that shit. I'm protecting my little guy. Yeah, we play hockey in the scenario? Because you just said that he was just doing technical shit and that we jumped him. Like it's hockey in the scenario at all. Well, here's the thing. When you got Wayne Gredzki who's a goal score,

who has finesse, he's not a tough guy. But he can spin around, do all the shake score goals. As the big motherfucker, you're gonna go and take that little prick out. And if you go and you touch my fucking guy, I'm gonna let you know that I will fucking rock your world. If you touch the goalie, if you go in and fuck with the goalie, the game's over. Okay, Henry, my older son, said they all know. You need your kid, I kid head. I'm kidding

40 That's the laugh you should Henry So Mommy anyway You're so funny. You know a lot of, he calls me mommy. Anyway, you make him. Oh, I don't think my mics, oh yeah.

Oh, it's wrong. I put a, I put a Judy condenser on. He told me that they know who they're gonna beat up, like who the beat up people are. Like they know before, these are the people who you're gonna beat the shit out of. It's like a duel for their honor. I don't fucking get it.

Like I like tennis. Tennis school. Tennis is good. Basketball is awesome. That's my favorite. That's favorite. My son's getting recruited. What a solid ball.

It's pretty hot. His son's getting recruited for what? For college basketball. Yeah, he's 15. That's a really soft. He's a sophomore. He's six. Now, can I ask you a question?

Yes. Yes. Now, you had a kid. That's a more he's a sophomore he's now can I ask you question? Yes Now you you had a kid, but you You're a lesbian You don't want to know what's funny about that. Why do lesbians all have good teeth because like black people why? Because you love pussy. Train, she's a T-Cool. She's a T-Cool. She was a bunny of lesbians with shitty teeth. It was a joke.

Yeah, not funny. Well, first of all, a lot of people, and lesbians, I know. My new listeners do not know that I became a lesbian. The minute I finish sucking your dick. Oh wow. Two-shot? No. Two-shed. No, my back.

Uh. No, I remember we had sex. Yes, I've actually done it all. You've sucked a dick. Yes, I hated it. Why? I don't know. I just, I don't, you know, like, I love guys.

I love them. Right. I just don't want their penises, you know, on me or in my face or my ass. Now, let's just say I'm, same. Right. Right. I'm telling you, I love women. I love women. Now, same, same. So, I'm, yeah. I get it, I totally get it. I love women, but, uh, yeah, so I had one and my ex had one,

and then we adopted. Right. So she had one pen, where you, how did you get, but how did you get, you go to a sperm bank. Okay, but can you pick it? Yeah, you picked the sperm you want. But can you pick the race? Can you pick the, yes.

Like, wear the, like, like, uh, scars deal instead of a curriculum. No, you don't know can you pick the yes like where they're like like Garzdale instead of no you don't know that you know like Oh, do you have to get like Jersey City like you are you rolling the dice? I didn't pick anyone like you is that your Now you're gonna totally make fun of me. I'm not gonna make fair. I want to know something before you talk Yeah, before you talk did you have will be rolling the dice when you got this sperm or did you have any control over it well i went to a very

reputable sperm back white and no no no where was it it was it was a wood it was right by ucla how was it so they collect sperm from, you know, all over. And then... I've been to Athens and I couldn't. They're usually like, you know, people in graduate school who want to make a little extra.

And... And... How much extra? I think you can make... It's like $70 a pot. Really? It's a research in the year. Just a beat off?

Yeah. In graduate school. That's, I've been training for this my whole life. No, no. This is what I read off I This is a trade school sperm I went to school on scholarship I could I could fill out a nice application. Yeah, you graduate. I well, you know I had I didn't get my language credits, but I know why did you graduate or not? Where'd you go to college? I went to University of Maryland Baltimore County why did you graduate or not where to go to college i went to university at marlin bultamork and did you graduate i did not know

fuck you but i want to do that i walk magna cum laude i had all i need was three credits how do you walk in the credit you can walk magna no i did i really did yeah yeah but you have a the credit i had was your gpa it was three nine and you fucking there's something There is no there are a hundred percent you could now do you have recurring dreams about filling out those three credits? Not really because I don't I don't want to do anything with my degree. I just I want to do I know but Nobody does whatever you're so great. He's not like dumb. He's just like my mind have recurring dreams about it

Well the whole reason I went to college was because of ethnic guilt my mom wanted me to go to she saw me walk she thinks I graduated I hope she never listens to this and that's it your mother that you graduate I'm the new team at University of America. Oh, yes, all right, yes. And I'll say hello. Judy's just fucking, my ears just wiggle. You screamed. Listen to me. We're not calling as Judy. Would you want to be a Dean at the... You have a Dean voice, yes.

Listen. What's your last name? Dean Gold. Howkeas. Yep. We're not gonna... I can't believe that you fucking... I can't believe...

I think you lied to your mother. You never... I can't believe this. You I can't believe you lie to your mother. You never ever Never you've never ever fucking told me we've been together for months and you never ever we make love And my my cigar's got a real type I Have a shite I like to fuck myself When I put my fingers in assholes, I wanted to look like me. Now, yeah, listen, I can't believe it. So, I mean, you're father.

I mean, I see a higher education of the three girls. Does your father know? Does anybody know in your family? Yeah, my brother's my cousin. They know. I think my mom kind of has it. She keeps asking when they're gonna mail the diploma. Ooh.

I can call up. She's going to the diploma. That's the first problem. I'm happy to send the diploma. The degree, whatever you want. who uh... that's a uh... degree whatever the three uh...

you're think i it's i know grea and another language i just didn't i just thought it was ceremony on more than anything i don't need a degree major is great you know i did in greek

all i i was missing political science and media? The only thing I'm missing is my language credits, but I know a different language like like what? No, no, I'm not saying foreign language. But I'm fluent in different language. So I just figured for me it was good enough. I have all the knowledge that I'm supposed to have. We have our degrees. Yeah, but I just hold that. Yeah, but that I don't care. I don't care what that UCB degrees don't count. Oh, yeah.

Black comedy team. I'm with the bitch off besides Trump Hillary. I'm agent in the essay and fucking. All right. Now I just I just don't understand it. It's just like that's three credits, right? I don't do it. I get because to me it's a class. But to me, it's like it's not't understand it. It's just like that's three credits, right? I don't do it. I get because to me it's like what class but to me it's like it's not even worth it

It's like what I have all the knowledge. They're saying I mean it's like Greek privilege What extra fucking onions on your Did you graduate of course what. What did you graduate from? I graduated from Rutgers. Rutgers. Rutgers. You graduated? Yeah.

With what? Oh, with what? You like Rutgers? Yeah, I went to school in Jersey, NJC, NJC. Oh, that's a good score. And I would go down to Rutgers. Yeah, because that's what I did. What did you graduate with?

Well, you're going to make fun of me. Yeah, that's what the show does. What do you want me to do? I will talk to you here. No. What did you go to your favorite swear word. What do you want me to do? I will talk serious. What did you get? What's your favorite swear word? That's your go-to-series. That's what I'm gonna say, James Lipton.

Hey. Oh. Jew. Anyway. She's a Jew. No, he's a Jew. No, I know. But you're a Jew.

I'm gonna say Jew. Yeah, I can say Jew. You can say Jew. You can say Jew. He can say Jew. He can say Jew. I can't say Jew. No, I'm Robert P. Kelly from Boston. I can't say Jew you could say Jew he could say Jew I can't say Joe no I'm Robert P Kelly from Boston. I say Jew my show gets shut down. He's very rice. I think the voice is my graduate with the degree and pussy

looking well I had that I have a PhD in that like us. Yeah go women studies Dare you You'll never do Let's all get you know guess Economics now that was my minor all right go Psychology now good guess good guess Engineering no I will guess. Psychology. No. Good guess, good guess. Engineering. No. I will guess right now.

OK. Fine art. Oh god. The art work. What are the closest? The art. Art of art of art. Music.

Music. What are you playing instrument? Yeah, I play clarinet and piano. Besides the pussy flute. No. I'll say clarinet and piano. I played clarinet in Shakespeare in the Barthus, I was playing piano. I was playing piano. I played clarinet in Shakespeare in the Barthus, I'm not sure. Oh, shit.

So what is your instrument you go to instrument? My piano is in my living room. Wow, you play piano. Yeah. And that can I just say something? They say that if you play the piano, you can go off to any other instrument because that's the way it all is. That's the bass, yes, yes.

You can figure it all out. From the piano. Right. That's a major. You have a piano. Yeah. I've always had a piano. Here's a problem.

A lot of people don't have... And you're a degree. In New York City though. In New York City to have a piano in your house. So low, right. Even when I lived in LA, I rented a piano. Oh wow. Because that's a hard thing to do.

And when you own a piano, you have to make sure you keep a certain amount of money. Because if that's the saddest thing in the world to me, when somebody has to sell the piano. It's like it's like a pet. Yeah. You know, it's like when you're moving and you can't have pets, it's like the same thing. It's like imagine if you didn't make this much money, where it's like the piano's got to go. That's sad. Yeah. Obviously, obviously, has a space where she could have to have a piano. That's sad. Obviously she has a space where she can have a pool to have a piano. That's my point. I'm not on my point. It's not a lot of the living room.

It takes up a lot of it, but I don't care. Now, do you play it frequently? You know, I haven't played it in the past. I get impressions and I don't play it. Really? I thought that would be the time when you would play it, like just a sad... Yeah, I love playing it. I love playing it.

Some Christopher Cross. Yeah, that's what I'm playing. Christopher Cross. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want to learn how to play jazz. So now what other interests do you play? Clarenette. Clarenette, because you're gay. Right. That's incredible. I don't know if you got the rule. I guess you got the rule book.

OK, he fell his. Everybody's gay. Clarenette's on this side. Get cars on that side. And if you're really straight, drums are on the back. It's ironic, though, because that's a wood instrument. So you're looking a lot of wood. But you're playing that.

That was terrible. Another rock. Oh, he's got a lot of men in there. I'm not a sign of this, though. But you know, you know, you got excited. Yeah, that's a Scopo bandana tonight. That's the bomb bandana when you say a bomb, because on your migraine Scopo memorial.

Bomb bandana. Scopo memorial. Oh. the bomb and then when you say a bomb it goes on your margarita scope of memorial and then that's what I started doing yeah back in the 90s, you were killed. 80s. You in the 80s, but the late 80s early 90s. Right, right, right. I would say more 90s than 80s. Well, that's when I started doing, yeah. Well, that's, let's, I don't want to talk, yeah, I don't, I'm not talking about your open mic days, that fucking, I want to, you like past it catch in the 80s. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I'm gonna talk to you.

Yeah, waiters did. This, uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Um, but that's when I first saw you. Right. Uh, and back then, man, I mean, now there's a million women comedians. Yeah. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, so many of Quitt lowest brownfield Valerie bromp field her sister Sally brawn Megan

Say something she should a quick you're never gonna be famous with the last name brawn feels all right I'm gonna give it up for a Brawn feels She did magic she Give it up for Bromfield. Sorry. She did magic. She gets Give it up for the amazing Bromfield. I saw this chick recently. Does anyone know her? Who is that Nina Conti? Sorry. No, I didn't go to women's fairs. No, why have I? I don't want to bring up new people now. I want to bring up the Bromfields. Right. So let

my whose brought what's her name? Lois Bromfield. Right. She wrote on Roseanne, but she was really libra. Lois. Bronfield. Lois Bronfield. Yeah. I want to see she looks at she was she funny. Back then, was she funny now? She's really. She's really funny. Does she still? Does she translate now? Well, I she

hasn't I like, you know, I mean, we want Margaret Smith. I can watch prior back then and he's still funny now. I still think she was as funny. She funny now. I still think Lois is funny now. Is she funny now? Yes, Lois Bromfield. Lois Bromfield.

OK, so Margaret Smith. Margaret Smith. Who does that? She did a shit load of... She is fucking hilarious. She did a shit load of... So Bromfield's not. That's what you said.

No, no. Why are you saying like that? You really did. You don't think it's a Bromfield's not. Lois sent it up upright for TV, but Mara is a Margaret Reed. Margaret's also really a great. Who's running through the also in

there? They're both. They're both really funny. Are there any women that you came up with that are still doing it? Yeah. Who? Um, well, these like Carol Lee for was before me. Okay. Susie and Joy were before me. Yeah.

They were like three years before me. Uh, Wanda was in my class. Yes. Okay. Uh, when she was married, Manda Sykes Hall, her name was. Yeah, Manda. Wow.

Wanda Sykes shut up. I'm a explanation. I did not know. That was not even me being a dick. I really thought you said Manda. Manda, Wanda Sykes Hall. She was even me being a dick. I really thought you said Manda Want to sex off she was married to Someone name hall. Yeah That's what you're shown to be all the time

Kathleen Madigan is Ellen now she was performing Got a little list over here. Caribou net you guys What was the best thing Lucille ball ever said I Like my watch You don't have Margaret Smith in there The internet does

Margaret was about you know, I was on Margaret sitcom. What was that Margaret show? Yeah, well What were you with Margaret chose? I'm a friend a Jewish neighbor. Now I wasn't even Jewish. Hey, my name is Gloria. Really, Gloria West. What's the letter? La Pina? What? Like a Latina? No, we, me, Matt Corman, who's an actor. She was in some kind of wonderful.

That's a kid and then she, she's now at Lincoln Center Theater. She and I played Margaret's best friends. Can I ask you a question now? Because I like these are young guys in the business. Yeah, yeah. I'm kind of a little behind you, but I've been through some of the same experiences. Yes, yes. Now, here you come out of the gate.

You're doing comedy at a boom. I would say early 90s would be another one of the books. Very boom. And now you come out and you do this thing. You get on a sitcom. I got an HBO special. Actually, it was a cable ace. Yeah, I had a good, good run.

And then the run kind of slows down. No, I had a, well, I left LA to have a, to I, so my ex was pregnant. And she said, all right, we can stay in LA. Right. Or we can move to New York, but you have to make the decision now. Where do you want your children to grow up? Okay. And I went back to New York but you have to make the decision now where do you want your Children to grow up, okay, and I went back to New York. Okay. Now did you access money?

No, we didn't have she had no money. We had I had the money. I was making a lot of money at the time from She's now a multi-millionaire, but no from you know, I was on a sitcom and then I did another sitcom right after that I was like it was called blame it on Ernie. It was for you. PN. All right. All right. See. I knew I liked the main What you're doing? Yeah. The black people's now. Well, I said, I don't know. Yeah. Well, I was like the CW was the man. Yeah. That was the white guy. It's really what and even the black people on that CW are white. It's yeah. It's it's very very. It's that I did a lot of.

I did a lot of episodics. I was on wings. I was on Caroline in the city. I was on like all. And my great actor, my am anager did not want. You know, he fucking hated me for coming back.

But then I worked on Rosie for the first two seasons. Did you work with Joey and Eddie? One of the writers. No, he wasn't on yet. I don don't think he was one of the oh, yeah, then I did That was my best friend What's that he was a and so some Jewish writer girl. Whatever. You're a producer. Yeah, I started as a writer and then I produced all the human interest to all the non-celebrities. Okay, here's a deal. Now the show that comes to an end. Where are you at then? I quit. I quit. Why? Because I did this thing with Alan King for PBS.

Beautiful Irish guy. And he said to me, you are not, I wrote for Ed Sullivan, you need to perform. You can't write for someone else. You can't do it. You can't sell your soul sort of like that. And Rosie had gotten sick at Caesar's Palace and I had to go on for her and I killed. And it was sort of like a, you know, divine intervention. So you go up and you kill it. I can't do thousand people. What happens? They did a is it um, all about Eve or is it a star is born? And then uh, I didn't get, you know, they did a couple of pieces, TV pieces on it, but

you know, I don't think Rosie was happy. I mean, I think she was glad I, know, it's But it's gotta do it very Precarious. Yeah, it's said it's at a doing her a favor Going out there. Hey, I got you don't worry about it. He asked me to do it Of course because but then it but then it but it's but it's turned into something for you Which she just like now was something it's about and everyone on the staff was like oh my god You're so fun and it was like it wasn't the same You know, I wasn't if you could employee

You're gonna come to be kind of like a good filler. How could I be here? High boss blank when I just murdered in front of all right, yeah, but but now I don't know It was for me a thing so it was actually a good thing for you It was it was like a good thing for you. It was. It was like a sign. You know, signed to get the fuck out of that. Yeah, to, you know, I loved it. I loved doing that.

But I would I was, you know, how I like to do spots. Yeah, so you know, I had to be have, we had to be there at 7 7 30 in the morning and have jokes written by like eight. And I would go, I live, I still live by standup in New York. So I would go on first. I would like each enter, go on first, and then go to sleep so I could still just stand up. Now, so after this whole thing happens,

and you leave Rosie, where do you go from there? Then I started doing, I started working on a one-person show. Right. And I knew I wanted to still do stand up and about i didn't want to do one person show that was my standup right so uh... i started interviewing jewish mothers all around the country and i

with a playwright we brought a shadow based on those interviews and then that got a rave reviews and and try and it toured. And then I wrote, then I spent another, took another five, six years to write another show, which I did at the, you know, Darryl Rothfeet are here. And then I don't know, I don't know.

I wanna write a one man show, and will you help me do it? Yeah, I teach that. But no, will you help me? Yeah, but what do I get out of it you get to fucking direct it really yeah okay oh oh I'll do it all right what's it gonna be about I mean but I don't want you fucking yelling at me like all right I don't know what you do I'm just saying I will will you do it and I wouldn't call you a fat fuck I'm just saying. Will you do it?

I wouldn't call you a fat fuck. I know. That would be the funny part on the show right now. Right. Can you never do that? I don't know what you're talking about. What's fucking bank account there? I don't know what you're talking about. It's a filmography.

Well, it's a filmography. Yeah. So I did those two one-person shows. And I've done like theater and... Well, not your thing now. now I mean you do comedy standup and you do these one woman shows or one person. Right and I did Shakespeare in the park and I did a couple of musicals I did disaster and Clinton the music. You've also done Louis and you've also done you're a fucking great. When I when I'm Louis told me he's a guy I got gotta share this episode. I want, we're on Saturday, whatever. And with Judy's in it, and I was like, oh shit. You know, because when you watch your friends,

you're like, I gotta fucking lie right now. I'm gonna have to see them and go, good stuff. Good stuff, good stuff. But I'm a man, you are fucking great. But I always, you are so good. Thank you, I always take out, I always took out, like when I, like, you know how comics are like, what the fuck, you know, I can't get any works. I always take out I always took out like when I like you know how comics are like I can't get any works

You're an actress you can do this one. Yeah, good. I can't get it The second time I'm glad you did it. Yeah, it was a little better Let me try like the fuck For Bob you can't say these words you can only say white man That's all you can know I said it as the character So you always you've always acted you always done like theater stuff, right? Even when you start your career. The thing is, I never could get cast. I'm too tall, I'm too this, I'm too that. So, I just decided I'm gonna write my own show.

But I always take classes, like I always, like in lulls, when you have lulls, you have to work, you have to create. How would if you're, you have to do shit when you have lulls. You have to work, you have to create. How would if you're, you have to do shit when you have time off instead of like wallowing in your fucking misery. How'd you get to the question though real quick, sir. How would if you're like a Louis CK, a Chris Rock, a date book in an Amy, where there are no lulls?

How would if you're a lulless? You still take classes. Then I shut the fuck up, okay? You know what? I know it's a fucking annoying Listen, we all know what a law means yeah, but I know people that have no laws What is Michael chair No lulls. What is Michael chair's lull?

I see. It's a hangover. That's a hangover. Dan Soda does even lick lollipops. Okay. It's fucking lullabies. You know, I've seen so many people have lulls. No, get to that period.

That war. Like we're Amy not we're Amie's, but you know, close to Amy, like a dance odor. And then, not thing. Are you proud of Amy as a woman? I love, as a woman? Like, does it, like, I don't, I love it. I love it.

That's also offensive with your family. Is that offensive? No, I mean, it's like, you know what I'm saying. And I'm like, there's a woman. She got this far, yes. Well, because here, what my point is this, back, bringing it all the way to the back. How far we going back?

Black? Way back. Oh, wow. You know, in a day, Mike, I'm sorry. How far we going back? Way back. Way back in a day. Thank you.

Back in the day, you were Judy Gold. Right, baby. Brought to you by DraftKings, use the code Kelly. It's the free, seriously. It's free. Set up your link today. Your friends will thank you. I'm gonna go to my draft Kings, use the code Kelly. It's the free, seriously, it's free. Is that a good thing today? Your friends will thank you. From also Kelly at Draft King,

DraftKings.com for free. Listen, because there was not that many women comedians. And in my lifetime, there's not enough women, there's not enough minorities, there's not enough women. And now, if you look at television, there's so many fucking funny women out there doing, not, I mean, look man, I saw ghost busters, I've heard it sucked.

They're all funny. They were great. Yeah, they were funny. They're all funny in it. The movie's a little messy, yeah. But they were funny. How many all funny in it. The movie's a little messy, yeah. But they were funny. How many guy movies, they're like a little funky, but they're all funny.

Right, but here's the thing. Now, when you look in like Amy, is a, playing a woman, is playing arenas. Okay, Madison Square Garden. Right, right, right. Yeah. And she's bringing all her friends to, I mean, you gotta look at that and go wow that's great

Yeah, that's how it should be right yeah, she hasn't brought me but Why was there a lull in your show I I think this is why was there a lull in your show? I think this is such an amazing time especially for like women in comedy because like I got into a like Maria Bamford show And I didn't think I'd be like into that and I watch it like oh, this is this is great She's great. I said you know where I got an American infant target her target commercials. Oh I get a fucking target commercial? You can't. It's like try to women up.

Okay. Can I get a bite of you? I women, now it's like woman time and I'm 53 fucking years old. What are you doing with that? I do, we can be 54 in two weeks. Wow. I mean, you are.

Well, I'm still going to the treadmill, I still got the thread now. The thread now, the thread now, the thread now, Maria Bafrin, on a treadmill commercial target. It's such a catchy tone. I sang this song for days. Selena and Bob. Maria Jackson.

It's called the Santa rap from, and I didn't even know who she was. And to me and my wife would sing this fucking rap. Well that's working well. Here's a wall. That's one you over Days days I Dare you I fucking dare the listeners right now to go to YouTube listen to that in a clean version not the one deep who brought up

Bring up a clean and you if you don't fucking sing that song you're a fucking intro. You're gonna go there right back over here. That's what he and Brandon training about dance. He did an act out too. It's a video podcast. It's a video podcast. That's the first one you say and then do it. What the fuck? I'm fucking believable. Would you develop that uh, and do it. And then... And then... And then... And then... And then...

And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then...

And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then...

And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... I have you So many I mean I get a lot of nose a lot you know what I really want to do We all went, we all turned to the guy. We all turned to the guys in the dressing room at the gym when the old guy just takes his pants off. I'm all the same.

Oh boy. She just said new. Now I really wanna do a stand-up special. Like I really, an hour. Yeah, I've been out, I'm want to do a stand-up special. Like, I really... An hour. Yeah, I've been out. I'm out all the time doing so. And I just...

Are you playing clubs? No, I do more theaters and cabarets. Really, we're the creators. This is what the fuck can I say something to? What? I do clubs, though. Hang on. What?

It really, if fucking... Maybe it's something I have to build up. Well, maybe I have to take myself out of this. I'm trying to get myself out of this, you know, Bob Kelly, club, three days, radio, blah. And I, you know, it's like, I don't have a people, like my people. I don't have, you know, I can't do can be cabaret. I can't go fucking cabaret.

You need a fucking gay following. No, it's, you need a gay. I thought you're a gay. You have a gay and a chews. Well, the theater. Well, you definitely need blacks, that's first thing. You definitely need blacks. I get, I get, I get good chair.

I don't, I don't have any fucking blacks in here. I don't understand how you're, because you're a racist fub. Yeah, because you have a black, I mean, I have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to do a special. Yeah. And I just need someone to produce it for you. Can I say something to you? Yeah. Go. I, it's, it's, you know what they want now? They, this is just the fact they want minorities.

And they want 20 year olds. They want, they want, they want famous people. Who are you, who are you? They want famous people. What do you say, they, what are you talking about? You talking about just specials, you talking about industry. You know what I'm talking about? tell about just specials you tell about That look at him that's a minority see that fucking

That's a minor No, he's not let's not get hit ourselves Stavis a minority on paper. Yeah, I gotta tan up. I gotta really do the yaks. I don't see like, when I hear you say that, it's amazing to me because I think that there's a disconnect of like the older comedians who are just killing everything. It's like, you guys just need somebody who's young, who gets it, you know? And I don't think you need that in order to get ahead,

but it's like, if you had somebody younger, was like, okay, I get internet, I get social media, these are all the things you do already. Let's start doing like a live stream thing. But it's like, I'm building that momentum. Here's the thing, no. I have an hour special I'm working on now. I'm pretty much ready to go.

In a couple of months, I'll be done. Yeah, be able to shoot it. Right, I'm not gonna, but who the, I'm not gonna have to go sell myself right right like a sitcom Because there's so many fucking comics doing so many fucking specials right and look it They're not fucking doing an album, but they're not fucking good But then if you watch him who's taught who was talking about? Norm MacDonald who's brought that up to me?

What about Norm? He was saying that these kids just went and learned, he was talking to some podcast. I think it was. Oh, we just learned how to do stand up and. They would just learn how to do comedy. Like there's a difference between people who have to do comedy and people who learn to do it.

Right, right, right. And now you learn to do it, you look like this, you learn to do it, Bing Bing Boom. Right. And then you you know It's a formula you guys in it in a different times like so You guys are coming up and people were coming to the clubs to see you if you want to see stand up Maybe you see it at late night there was none of it. You didn't yeah, you did never have people You know filming you

And when you went on on the camera you say this though. We have a lot of people watch Live And when you went on a camera you say this though we have a lot of people watching But when you went on to especially like when you audition for SNL or anything you had your slot That was it you had one try no one videotape themselves You know and when we went on the road we had no computers. We had no cell phones. We had a right We had to it was, and it was lonely. But it's still lonely. It's, it's lonely. Yeah, but at least you had like FaceTime and shit.

Well, look, here's the deal. It's, yeah, but there was less comics because it was, there was no, listen. No, there were a lot of comics during the year. Not as much as, not as much as there are now. But new comic, every 10 minutes here. But the thing blew up. Everybody was a comic and then it died and all those people died with it because you can have fame. I think you

can have fame. Go on television, get a special. And then now it's time to go on the road. And these crowds are going to say no. No, because we just saw a boom and boom and boom. And they were fucking unbelievable. They're going to go now, sorry, and your crowds are going to dwindle because the next time you come back, you're not going to think of a way when it's sucked. And they're going to go back and get in that, then all of a sudden, you're, you just not getting it right. I feel like there's the specials you were talking about. Some of them are horrible, but when you see some of these people in person,

and they murder and then like diverse for them, you're like, oh, shit, you shouldn't put that special out there. What does that diverse room, what do you mean? Like when you have like a real, you're an audience or something. Oh, you're talking about the last. So we had, we had, we had Theo do, Theo's Theo. Theo's on, he just did, he did the comedy out loud show

we just had, right? I thought someone's gonna splice it together like I was talking about Theo Vaughan. Yeah, who's that? Who's that? Who's that? And they're not funny. I know that.

I know that. I know that you're talking funny. I know. I really don't know. But man, from Brooklyn, he wrote. But he, he, some people didn't like it special, but he did the show live and just killed. And some comments were like, oh, man, I saw the special. And I didn't know how to feel about it. But I saw him live and he killed. But the thing is, it's like, all you have to do now

is build your audience. So it's different from, okay, let me get great on stand up and then have this hour, like, hey, look at this amazing hour. It's kind of like, all right, I have to do all this content. Can I say something? Listen, listen, you're working. It's not about... It's the opposite. I feel like it's like you have a YouTube video and has this many followers, and then you get booked in a fucking club, even though you don't know what the fuck you're doing. I would have never done that. That's true, too. If you have an hour special, okay, like you have an hour special

Right no why why do they don't want to film it? Why is it nobody fucking you you've been in the business? How long? Well, I mean I could film it how long you been in the business? 30 With that 30 20 with that. 30s good. She will say 20. We would have been good with that. 30. Yeah.

These kids aren't 30 in the room with you. And with all these people, we're still in a nut. Right. Listen. Show. In the nut. In the nut.

Surf. In the nut. Half. In Henry's. All right. Democratic liberal. You know, I mean, well women do women I was a joke minimizing the women's role in I love you. Of course you do because it looks like me makes it No degree I think I'm kids know what she does

Listen here's a deal Shit the fuck up Shut up, I'll turn everybody's mic off Judy Robin Yeah, I want the third third every today guys I'm sorry Shut the fuck you I did too. I was a little fuck yourself suck a dick fuck you That's all he to pussy look it dirty guy ass So yeah, well you do the special yeah, you can film it

But where the fuck you gonna air it right it used to be like a one my HBO special they filmed it and they aired it right to be like one of my HBO special, they filmed it and they aired it. Right. And now each PO hour special half hour doesn't count. I'm kidding. So yeah. But why the fuck? Why is it so hard to, I mean, you look at the stuff that's

I don't know. Let's go to Netflix and see who's got specials. It's what I heard. I heard and I don't know. You might be able to the Google list is specials. It's like, I heard, I heard, and I don't know. You might be able to Google this or something, but it's like, if you pay, you can basically pay Netflix to have your shit up there. Like, if you can pay like 50,000.

We want to do that for a free platform. I would. I mean, if you like, hey, I'm on it. I have kids, I can't fucking, I should have that. So much work goes in there. For some people that have that money, yeah. I just want one of my really successful friends to say, you know what, I'm gonna produce something.

So I, wait a minute, is that real? Can someone, I don't think that. I would love that. I've heard of that. I'm not saying that. I feel like this, I don't think that's true. I feel like you have that kind of money, though. I don't think that's true.

If you have that kind of money, it would have already had that. I don't think so. I don't know what to do. I mean, look, I just, I just feel like. So you're saying some of those people on Netflix, they can pay to have their their content on Netflix, so you paid that it's not gonna be like a Netflix original

Wait a minute gonna see yeah, but here's the thing. Here's a thing Yeah, but then viewers don't know if you go if you go if you go if you do this work If you go no my microphone you fucking Ask I know you kiss you. Yeah, you she's not gonna do nothing for you Helping people you mother fucker selfish piece of shit. I have you a much. I'm not going to one-man show It's gonna be the diverse. No, no, no diversity youth We need more diversity The Pl no fucking white

Just lit me up you gotta be Kelly robbing man to make it man. That's it. That's it. That's it You gotta be Kelly Robin man to make it man. That's it. That's it. That's it. You guys I don't know what you just The fuck is you got no I'm saying he has to become a new person. Yeah, let's Come a new person. I'm gonna be Stop one second. I slowed out. I said I get Just you do you too to get you gonna slow down because you're speeding the fucking show up too much Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it. Yeah, do it. Please not here though. Fuck off. What's up? According to this article here It says to be clear Netflix does use the majority of the revenue

to pay studios for licensing agreements. So they pay for the content. Yeah, like they pay them. Yeah, they pay. So I shot my special on my own with Jim Cerberco. Yeah, okay. I love him. Can he live at the village on the ground and amazing special?

I love him. He was my manager for like five minutes. When? When he was with, who did he work for? He works at Dennis Lyre, in a possible. Right before that, before before before before he went with Dennis. What's his name? Fuck, he was crazy.

I love Jim. Good talk. Yeah. No, I love Jim too, of course. So you said we actually, the first whistle at the village group. We'll get to that Judy. I know.

I got a spot downstairs, you mother. He rated five stars. But here's the thing is that we did it and then We'll get to that. I know I got a spot downstairs. He he he rated five stars. But but here's the thing is that we did it and then you sell it to that. Yeah. Right. But they don't I couldn't give them money. Okay. Okay. I think that's a lie. Did they do they like promises? Certain number of like because I remember what I've been going Netflix haven't seen your special there. Yeah. Do they promise how often that happens or is that just based on like no. No, no, it's all that's all algorithms. If it makes sense to them, if it's good, it's all algorithms. It's all algorithms.

That's all algorithms. So if someone likes, if you, if someone likes Billy Burr or like whatever, and I did something with him, and then you might like this too, that's all out algorithmic. Which is not a bad, you know, people that people definitely,

but you want to make sure that you're shit. Judy Gold. Yes. You are gay. Are gay. Yes, you are gay Yeah, that's the other day I was gay before all these All these fucking shows in the early 2000 That's like my picture to show them in the in the in the 60s. Exactly. I want to call it the browns. Like no.

Yeah, we've changed. Sorry, sorry, your parents didn't fucking time. Listen, what what are your plans now? Well, I'm going to go do a set down. What are you working on right now? Well, I, uh, oh oh I'm at, when is this, is this airing right now? It's gonna air Monday, but it's airing live too. Right right now. It's live. Oh I'm at, uh, I'm at 54 below this Thursday and Saturday. Fine signs 54 below. Where is that? What's street? It's on 54th Street. And I think it's between 8th and 9th. It's the old studio 54. It's a

Supper Club. It's a supper club doing stand-up in a supper club. It's fucking awesome. You have to tell me And then I'm in rich fail playhouse on Friday. Love that place. Isn't that great? Yeah, and then You know, I'm in that new series. So girls who run that of gorgeous really? So hot So I'm not a gorgeous really Oh, so hot So I need to grab them by the pussy What are you doing you doing you're on a TV show and the new showtime series? I'm dying up here no shit What is it what is it it's that series based on the comedy store in the in the 70s really cool based on the book

I'm dying up here with the Isleel. Is it, is it, is it, is it, it's just a show then. It's a, it's a half hour. It's their, it's their, it's our, they call it a dramedy. It's their big new show in the, Oh, dramedy. It's a dark comedy.

Dramedy. There you go. It's a dark, I like it. I like the, I like it. Dramedy, dramedy. It's a dramedy. It's a dramedy. So it's a dramedy. It's a dark comedy. It's a drama. Say dromony comedy. I will power struggle I

Will kiss fuck you are you on the show? You know what that means? I mean, it's actually what I play I play Kiss fucker. Oh, I'm not allowed to talk about Do you know the day? March time. Okay cool cool Also plug that social 724. Okay, you can play what time you have to be downstairs? What's my 740 740? 740 724. Well, you know, she's like lies about it I as well. She does the mother thing as he will tell you it's 730, but it's really 745 Because she knows you're gonna be late. I call the Sherrod rule

We'll allow it. Yeah. We'd put a cocktail of Sherrod we'd have. Oh shit. What? I forgot to oh yeah the fucking buzzer's broken. I'm like oh damn phone. Oh god. So much anger in this room.

What time? I'm old. We got we're gonna. How old do you? I'm 46. Right. Yeah, how old do you? I'm gonna be 54 and two. It's crazy I'll do you. I'm 46. Right. Yeah, hold you.

I'm gonna be 54 and two. It's crazy. It's crazy. You look great for 54. Thank you. You do. Do I look great for like 44? No, you look like shit.

That's my mother used to tell me. She goes, stop telling people you're real age. All right. And I was like, I was like, why? She goes, because tell people you're you're 29, so I can be 39. I go, my she tell people you're 50 because of 50 look great for 39 You look like shit How old for you when you said that I was 22

What do you got oh, we got a couple new stories if you want to yeah, let's go The world you to go is I want to hear I thought I was come how late does this go we're going to around eight twenty All right, good. What do you got I could come back? But try to come back if we're doing it just texture. We're still knowing you come back up What if you're like on another topic? Well, never gonna get to a topic. It can be happy Oh, that's why you're a lesbian because you had a man I would love to have be straight. I can't these women are so fucking annoying Now we're talking

Therapist she's so fuck all right go All right, so last week John Oliver to segment on uh... two candidates uh... jillstein and uh... gary johnson uh... the green party and the libertarian party candidates right and uh... so you know he's he slammed them and then jillstein makes a statement yesterday saying that we should start a crusade against her term is oppressive comedians no way jillstein she's i have the exact what if you want to get it

i think i read this yeah the quote says we need to begin having honest conversations about the oppressive tactics corporate comedians continue to do corporate. What is a corporate meeting when the winner? Corporate John Oliver's a corporate guy. Yeah, those HBO. They're under it. Yeah, HBO, but it's like it's like he's backing over. Can't right? So it's where well, they kind of do. I mean, Daily Show does. He's for as it's like he's backing no other can't right so it's weird Well, they kind of do I mean daily show does

Well, he's for as you know, he's for Hillary's not for you know what you're right. That's true Yeah, they all lean So it goes on to say this country was built on oppressing the other In parentheses black and addition indigenous people and I'm not gonna stand for more of this while we deal with major and i'll be like five right and really yet he's got a lot

she's like those annoying lesbians who have whoo whoo one more time one more time to have speed action one more time what i don't understand i really don't understand i'm much

funny about i'm really fuck up her big thing was she was gonna forgive the national debt That was her big plan. Oh she's gonna forgive it. What she can't even do yeah Yeah, no So no I She's like those went no no fucking sense of humor take yourself to So so what does she want to do to comedians? She wants to shut them up. That's what you want to do. That's the thing that's about shutting people up.

Like Trump with the fucking media. Yeah, he's going to do the same thing to comedians. If he gets elected, he's going to shut. That's what he doesn't even let. I know. He'll fucking get rid of that. How is that? He will.

How? He doesn't let these reporters into his, that's you, but that is a dumb little environment. You cannot shut down Listen believe me not even shitty writing and crappy acting can shut that Okay, so if they can't do it. He's not doing it. I'm gonna talk But there was a time when you look God what is this the long did I mean? I was praying for and living color to come back. When Reggie McFadden was on it.

Oh my God, how waste Reggie McFadden. I think he's a diamond mine in Africa. No joke. Are you kidding? The last time I talked to Reggie, he says, oh man. Oh my God, I'm not about him. I love him. He goes, I want, I want a diamond mine you want to invest

I go you know what I'm hosting here at the seller I'm good I actually like the benefits The year is really solid is fine Oh god I love the comics What's your name? I forgot my name Judy

Oh my god I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I am so I forgot Judy I am so I When Judy starts to scream let stop let her do it. I want to see if she can pass out I kept I kept the other word name Carol. I kept the like No, not Carol. I know I know you do look like a Carol Judy you do look like a Carol I'm not looking at you You don't not look like that. That's your lesbian name Carol Alright

I don't want the car My name is Carol Judy what do you so we'll see you go see you this week at wait I got a fucking go I gotta go you have a good time yeah but you never will you come back on when can I come back on you come back way settled that's fucking mooms colline yes you come back on soon whenever you want except next week and the week after no one's coming back to an election erection special erection. Yes, we're doing a reaction. We have all Chinese. I want a lot of information. Well, no, I do another story and I'll be careful. I do another story. Sure. Um, we have Bill Murray accepting the Mark Twain award

Oh, that's terrific. He's a very funny man And Mark Twain did you ever read about Mark Twain and the Mark Twain is a terrific reference here I just say do do looks exactly like my mom put kid now way. It's what a god. Right? Let me see Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I'm sorry What I am a said 730 you gotta go. I don't have to go. I'm going to leave the shot. I don't like you I can talk like is a gem and well. I'm not listening Tell them about my jerk. We were at just for laughs.

Shut up. Oh, yes. Yes. Let's hear it. This is the story. We're at just the laughs. Everybody stays at the Hilton, right? Right.

Hilton. So you're packing? So I'm in my room. I have another day there. I'm packing though. I like to pack. You know me. I'm packing.

No. Ryan. Ryan. Yeah. Yeah. I like to pack I'm packing no Ryan Ryan was there and he was going home and bringing your shit back right we we had a We so we rented a movie we got some ice cream. We're all less We're all less you know that's what lesbians do they make everybody lesbian We're on the room. We shouldn't we should have cats Ryan Ryan Hamilton's up there. I'm there watching movie and she she starts doing a fucking German accent Okay, it was funny for 10 minutes 20 minutes three hours

I literally kicked her out I Don't get the fuck out. I was gonna. I'll go to jail. I was like, get the fuck out of it. She's at my diva. Do you want to, and then it, she went to French. I don't know by. Right, and went to French. And then I tried, and I was an Israeli one.

Well, it started out French because they're French up there. That's, it was literally just German, because that's it. And then three, I was, I kick her out. I see her, a fucking weak late looking. I was like a week out. I see her a fucking weak late a week or a month later I go, Hey, what's up? She goes, what the man because you would not is planning fucking murders of Just like yeah, he's planning fucking murders of hot

Why I'm gonna get a girlfriend I'm sure he said sex now in his brain I'm sure he's practiced a lot. I don't know if he said sex. I'm not gonna ask him that. I'll pour him. Why pour him out? I say good for him. I got fucking touched and dittled and fucked. I'm all fucked up sexually.

You're fucked up sexually. I'm not fucked up sexually. You're a lesbian. You're a lesbian. You should have been one of the guys. You're the kids. I'm the house and Westchester. Now you're struggling with the piano and what 50 fuckers are you talking about?

Oh. All right, I got a good time. I'll see you later. Judy go all there, buddy. Love you guys. We come back on again. Yes, I'll be the same. I'll be the same.

Get out of here. Plug your social media to it. Say, this is my new husband. I'm at Judy Gold at Judy Gold, J-E-W-D-Y-G-O-L-T. Get out of here plug your social media to it. See this is my new husband That's all you go J.E.W.D.Y GOL.D.J Get it Judy I guarantee Mike calls you for something in the next month. We gonna work on I don't know We're gonna have our own podcast Yeah, do you have a pocket? Oh fuck you? Yeah, that's it. You have like everyone as a fuck I'm talking about with him but I got him lose him

Hey guys, this is fucking ruining my podcast get out of here get out leave They might be called brown gold. I don't know Get out leave go You guys You guys do it with the glasses. I fall in the water. I bring my full. See you, Carol. Oh, thank you all for having me.

Take your fucking lesbian, McGiver, jacket. Oh, my God. I love that. You have a spot. Get out of here. You're going to be late. You're going to be late. Fuck up my spot.

I'm not going to go. Take the headphones off. You're not. Take that. Take that. Take that. Take that. Listen, oh my god.

Stand up. Oh shit. Is that a style thing or those are rip on their own? Whoops, alright. What, I'm chubby too, I can say that. What the fuck, I'm gonna get as fat as you. Oh, that's funny. You're fucking... You guys are fucking... Get him, Judy. I can say that Oh That's funny You guys have fun. Get him Judy

You got it Judy You really are just a two-footer Judas You really is just a what? Buddy, Bubba buddy, buddy Please Hey dude listen dude dude, hey pal, listen, I, I gotta go pick up my phone, I gotta go. Go, get the fuck outta here.

Oh, stop it. Come on, take it, I love you Bubba, I'll see you later. Lauren, get her out of the studio, walk her, the fuck out, lure her. But I love it. Yeah, I said who said lure her. Who said lure her? Fuck out Laura her, but I love it by By Carol More finger you pussy and draw her out with your finger Oh, Jesus. Just a quick reminder, how funny. She's got to be by the graph. He's got com.

Easy, easy. How funny is she? She's so funny. Nice and man. And that's what I mean by funny. Yeah. Personality, take over the whole room. She's unbelievable.

What? Yeah, I was being serious. No, I mean, she's, she is, she is, she is, she's, one of my, one of my favorite people. Yeah. It's incredible to hear the story and to see like there's artists now who try to do everything like, okay, I want to do the one man, the one man show, when I want to write on this show and do this thing.

I mean, that's why everybody's doing that. What? There's that pressure you have to do everything. No, here's the thing is, this is what it is, is the law. Okay, when you have that law, you have the ability to write yourself out of that. It might not be into millions, it might not be into a television show.

It might be into a one-woman show, one-man show, but it will be something creative that you can do. That will be amazing. Is that me? It just sucks that like that, this person's Judy's special can't get made. Like as a comedy fan, not even as a comedian,

that's why I wanna see. I wanna see somebody who's been in the business 30 years knows what he wants to do. Are you ready? Go downstairs and watch your set and then. Come back home. If you wanna see an hour, that's it. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Oh. All right. That was so fun. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. ahead of Netflix comedy now. And I look, even if he'd say no to me, if I asked, I think that he has a pulse on what funny is. Right, yeah, I think so.

And I think, you know, you look at, well shit, of course they're gonna get famous people because that's money. Of course, yeah, of course. Yeah, and of course, look, I don't, there might be, there might be the day of having a special, an hour special might be dead. It might be. It doesn't mean as much. I think

what you were saying earlier, Mike, about like, everyone needs content now. It's almost like a special isn't this like huge, exalted thing that you worked years and years for. It's just content now. It's just something so people can want. Special aid. And maybe, yeah, it's it's almost my life people say podcasts get the more followers I did up my buddy has a podcast right very popular podcast and he did Never getting sponsored Trojan I would love that porn of course you would do it. I'm an Eve. He has a popular podcast so popular that he was like Okay, you know, I want to try stand up never did stand up ever before Sell that sold out the NYU sell that out. Sell out the NYU Skurball Theater in a day.

Jesus. In a fucking day. And in the El Barrio Museum, which is like, like I think 300, 300, 400 seats, just off a podcast. Did you hear that YK fucking? If you download the show and you listen to it, I give you any fucking amusement at all. You cock sound, be a of bed by a fucking dick.

Sounds some shit out. Yeah, we're Michigan. We're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, we're in, uh, I'll tell you right now. I give you an hour. It's been an hour. It's like a six minute. Oh, here we go. We're in Lansing, Michigan. Where? Uh, at Max Barr. Awesome. Uh. That's November 3rd. And then November 4th, we're at Pyramid Scheme at Grand Rapids. A Ting. And then the Crow foot and Pontiac.

Oh, she goes, you guys are going awesome. Yeah. Oh, man. Not in, come out. There's a Friday Saturday. Make sure you come out. I'll tell some of my folks that'll check you out. Oh, cool, man.

Come on, come on, but say hi. If they like the show. Or if they want to have sex with me. I said, whatever, come on, too. Be like, man, that's you come up and say hi if they like the show. Or if they wanna have sex with me. I said, whatever, come up and say, be like, man, that shit was. Did you hear that? What? I was subliminal. He went, or if they wanna have sex with me.

Just let him know. What? I'm being straight up, you know. You have a nice time in Michigan. I'm gonna tell my boys, yo, if you wanna fuck stop. No, wait, dude, no, no, no. First follow the Instagram and make sure you all the way in. Yeah. I'm sure you take a look. Okay, no, no. First follow the Instagram and make sure you all the way in. Yeah.

I'm sure you're taking a look. That's first. Okay, what were you saying? I was gonna say, when we talk about the laws, like Maria Bamford, right? Can you make the shrug fingers thing out of me? She made, why are you pacing back and forth? She made a YouTube series, right?

That a few people watch, I think, was like, right when she was done with rehab, whatever. And that ended up becoming the base for the Netflix show. Here's a deal, though. Okay, fine. With all that shit, that's it. No, good for them. Right.

It's like Vine. Yeah. Vine, where's Vine? It's gone. RIP. So here's the thing, though. I know that I have now a stand standup that I can do anywhere anytime and Make money. Yeah, and it's funny. Okay, you know those vine people are fine, but where are you going now?

Where where are you going? They were doing stay with doing comedy clubs during the fucking day selling them out. Yeah to kids Yeah, and it's like okay, what are you doing now now when all when all the fluff is gone When your hair goes when you have a kid? Personal You can't trim your bush fat your Ford SUV isn't starting I didn't say the model. Sit down there.

Sit down. Make sure you say the year. Yeah. Yeah. You say four as you hear. Sounds like an old. Yeah. It's a brand new.

It's a brand new. Yeah, he didn't say the year. I believe, I really believe, Bobby, that you are going to do something that's not stand up related. No, this is real shit. That's not stand up related. Yeah. That's gonna make you stand up pop crazy because like hearing the stories about like the first guest book, seeing seeing the app, the awards and everything. Like you're always on the forefront of technology.

And there's something that you're gonna do that's gonna hit. And people are gonna lock into it and then be like, oh, he's funny. And it's gonna be crazy. Let me tell you something right now. Go fuck yourself. Okay, fuck you. Well, Judy, look, I got that pep talk from Dane. Yeah, fuck you, Dane, Louis,

fucking Colin. No, I ain't man. I think he- He promised to give me that a bit of talk. Yo, play a, let me tell you something, man. I think you need a promise to game that. I'm gonna play a, let me tell you something man, you did good work in that college. You see, I live a whole my life. Hey listen, I hear you say who,

listen, who give, I mean who gives, but that's why I like Judy because it's like you just keep working. Just whatever you write something else, do something else, still do comments. Is it tough for you though, like being here at the cellar and seeing all these new cats coming though, like being here at the seller and seeing all these new cats coming in like in the past? And like, I mean, cause I actually enjoy it.

You do? Well, look man, you're a new cat to me. You guys are all new, you know what I mean? So I think doing this podcast helped me out as that headliner and that generation. When I started having newer guys on, I was like, oh shit, these guys are just me, same thing except not all of them,

but most of them are me when I was just, we're all the same fucking, you know what I mean? So no, I don't mind at all, and I like seeing funny, and I can actually, look, I can adjust to different types of funny, I get it, am I gonna spend my money on it. No, but I can adjust to it I understand that there's different types of funny now. Why do you feel about that too like now because there's like Michael Sand There's so much free content now including this podcast for a lot of people like how do you you know? You got a family you got kid. What's that pressure like just trying to figure out now like what the fuck me

Know he's doing one-on-one conversations behind the paywall if you download the app. Thank you. I don't even know what the lab is. What is the app? The YKWD? Oh, yeah. It's on the iPhone. What is that?

How do we get that? That's the Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude, app available on the iOS store and Android. It is available on the Android. Look at that, baby. Is it free? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I mean, when you do it that, you just go on you good the premium content you go watch videos

Listen to audio is a beautiful thing one ninety nine a month right? That's nothing that's cheap. I have one ninety nine in my pocket right now. That's crazy That's only that's crazy We don't know who who decided this after you though. It's really good It's really good. It's better than pot podcast at and all that should It's a great app and it's free and you just You get all the Content so to change the subject. Yeah, but where can I like watch that awesome live creed the kids show? Oh the crazy kids

I'm sorry. I'm totally doing off topic. You know what you go off time But here's the thing too one of the funniest shows ever done live I produced that I produced a lot of shows and they all go go behind the paywall now. That one. Oh my gosh. I do want that actually on the pre-reaction. No, what? That's crazy.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's insane. Oh, yeah. All right. Well, we know. Yeah. Listen, if you don't join the K-7, if you don't join the premium channel and you're listening to this right now and you laughed at least twice

You owe me You owe me My son Bobby's mafia style. I need to upgrade I need to move to a better school district And I need you help others to be proud kids in your school district better school this year and I need you help. Oh, there's too many brown kids in your school this year. You know what it is? You know what, you know what, actually, I learned about the schools. I was a big shirt this week actually. What is that? Let's talk about it. So, uh, that's a deep whose news corner.

I love it. There you go. We have what, uh, if we're with the Lord's news, we fucking shit at guys in Jersey. And the Giants. Tell you about it. How to dye your hair from the sandals. All the way to those eight-year-old spray tan. 1099. How to make the ass hairs go away between your pussy and your asshole?

You act some will do it for free. I got a wax putt at home. You'll do it for free for anyone is that what you're on for you? This is planned as that because I could use to clean up the story. So a study was released this past week showing that New York City schools high schools are the most

segregated racially. Jesus in the country. Yeah. I'm pulling up graphs right now, but uh working in those schools I see that all the time. It's crazy. The talented black kid you will be in the right segregated one. That out to my brothers. Yeah, we're doing great. We're doing like the prep for prep program or something like that. Yeah, well, no, my my brothers are about to be tennis stars.

They're going to be still famous. Oh, like scholarships. Okay. Yeah, like the William sisters. Yeah, they're great. That's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. Okay, so here I am, I moved into a shittier school district. Not the shittiest, it's not a one, yeah, but it's like a four or six. Okay, yeah. And look, the schools are fine and stuff,

but it's, if I have the opportunity to move to a neighborhood where the schools are literally 10 out of 10. Mm-hmm, no. Better funded, better teachers. Whatever. Why am I racist to want to move? Why am I racist? Is that racist? I want to move to that school district.

I want to go there. Yeah. I want to move there. I'm going to pay the money. Why can't I do that? Why would I? Should I keep him in the the the school that she's in for what if it's if it's not taken away from another student like of a different ethnicity or whatever, then there's no

problem. Well, let's say it is. Let's say it is. Let's say it's it's it's yeah, but I'm not. Versus like like if I had to kill like your kid versus my kid, right? Right. Then I would of course cry racism because that's a way to stop you from getting in and have my kid in there It's not racist if you want to get to the better school Well, okay, they set it up to where if you may if you can buy a house in this town and pay the taxes Because that's that's that's what they want listen

That's the money 18,000 dollars. I can pay 18,000 dollars Yeah, if I wanted to take 18 grand and give it to Arzli, my kid can go to that school. In my head, I'm like, why don't I just fucking get another house? I'm gonna pay that anyways. Yeah. Let me get another house and live in a different neighborhood

that I might like. My family did the same shit in Detroit. I could have gone to school in Detroit. My mom was like, I wanted to go to Ann Arbor. And how? How did that happen? My grandparents bought us a house, so they'd be living in Ann Arbor. You got to change us old. My mom was like, I wanted to go to Ann Arbor. And how? How did that happen? My grandparents boss at house.

So they, we could live in Ann Arbor. You got to change his own. That's why I get it. In a better neighborhood. Yeah, yeah. In better schools. Well, why can't black people do that? Because we don't have the money.

You don't have the money. I got through lucky money. I don't have the money. I didn't come from anything. I didn't have any money in my family at all. I never got an allowance. I had to get a job. I never, no one ever get, I never had a dad. I never got an allowance. I had to get a job. I never, no one

ever get, I never had a dad. I never had a shit. So everything I got was fucking scraped in clawed for. But I had a goal and a vision. You know what I mean? I'm also an exceptional person though, Bob. You know what I mean? No, seriously. I mean that like, me kiss. You're great. You honey pick. Get over here But like this is for No, no over there it's mooch right now wouldn't the sink you know we played some gay chicken It's not it has always gone your way You know I play gay 13 minutes and I'm like whenever you're done. Do you just let me know literally?

I'm trying to pull away my helmet from his ass Business I'm just gonna use my- Well, anyways, my gibbusiness, my gibbusiness. People say, we don't even have to call it chicken. We don't even have to call it chicken. We just do it. We just do it. You know what I'm just gonna say? He did, though, he was saying he'll put up with a stage time

two seconds' date. He didn't completely opposite. I'm a fan. Oh my God. And interesting part of the story though is that they actually measured that just kids from well off families being peers with kids from poorly, you know, not as well off families. There is a positive effect. It's good for everybody. Absolutely.

Yeah. Because you get to meet people from different backgrounds. You become more empathetic and I think that's what we're missing from this election is that Trump's people are so angry. Yes, they have been for guy in the middle of America, but they're not being empathetic towards poorer people than them or also people that were able, like you said, to see their situation and get themselves out of here. Here's the thing though.

Like I want to, I went to a, uh, I went to a mixed school. There was, there was a was a, it was mixed. It was like down the middle, white and black, and a couple of Puerto Rican kids, right? And then a really black girl. And she was like, she was really black. She was like, you're a Wig and Six Gray. You know what I mean?

Marina, right. Oh, shit. Oh, she's in the face. No, she said she was that student back You tried to make some fuck you We had Different telephone shit. They're like all all marina. Check this out. We'll see if this works.

Fuck marina. That's what you're saying. That was funny. Let's see how those channels work. Bobby can just say, I'm going to have to make it a little bit alright. Fuck the reading the n***a. But I'll say this.

I was actually, I'm happy I went to that school. It was a good school. It was a different time. I was actually, I'm happy I went to that school. It was a good school. It was a different time. It was a good school. It was the only, in my, look at Boston back then, it was fucking segregated. I mean, South Medford, there was no black kids.

North Medford, no black. West Medford is where the black section of Medford was over by Dugger Park. There was the, you know was the basketball hoops were. There was no net basketball court. No sort of court. No, no, no. No, no, no.

But no, there was a black section at town. So I remember, I grew up with this beautiful girl, Debbie. Jeannie McKay was my first girlfriend. She was a black girl. There was Eddie was a black Puerto Rican kid. He was naming the black kid. Eddie had a rough. Eddie was there was a batumba.

There was the head-made matambo. My friend, no, there was a chorus, a chorus, a swittaker. There was my friend. Oh, shit. Oh, wow. That was poor as a poor as a swittaker. That was my friend. Oh shit. Oh wow. No kidding.

No, seriously. I was glad I broke up because when I got older, black people didn't, I knew a lot of black people. I grew up with black kids. Black culture didn't scare me. I saw black homes. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was definitely different homes. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It was definitely different than my house. You know what I mean? No, when I went to like, I remember going over to this girl's house, it was just a different, it was just different shit. It was, look, everybody, like you go, I go to my friend's house, my Italian friend's house. It was different man than my house.

The smell was different. The kitchen was different. The shit around the table was there. As soon as you walked in, you were like, what is this? Oh my god, this is not my fucking home. Well, you don't have to see it to look at it. It's different. Not that it's worse. It's like, oh, this is different. That was different. Yeah. It was different. But I'm glad that I did in a way have. So in my head, I'm like, shit, I should, you know, okay, I can throw them in this better, you know, better, 10 out of 10 school. It's literally 90 something percent white, all right?

These other schools, if you look, you can see on these charts. And then if you look at this school, it's 80% black and 20% white. And it's like, am I, I mean, shouldn't I, maybe I should see what the teachers are like, maybe, because it could be, you know what could bring that school down? Well. A couple people that don't speak English well.

Yeah. And then we take the tests, it fucking plummets the school. The school could be fucking amazing. The teachers could be great. And the reason the school gets a bad rating is because the testing, the way they do the testing, it's, you know, an Indian kid, right, or a Spanish kid, doesn't speak English

that well. And it fucks up the school's rating. I don't know. I don't know. It's about, it's really about opportunities. Like if, if, like my brothers, like they play tennis really well and they play soccer really well. So it's like you want to be in the school where of course they do. They are. They're fucking right, they do. They're fucking right, they do.

So you need to have them in there. If you were saying math, we don't need math, we don't need math. You wouldn't have done it. Just don't build it. Just don't build it. You're a new story. If you go to these schools that have this opportunity,

these opportunities, it makes sense. I actually want to sit up here, sit up here. If you want to sit up there, Oscar is, my co-host, for again, don't ruin everything as you get up though. Just literally knocked everything up the fridge. What's up, honey? How you doing?

Yeah, he's a co-host of, the Geeks of New York podcast. Which I love the name. Yeah, I'll be on that one soon too. Yeah, it's gaming reviews. I know you're a bigot of that. I love to have you on, Stuart. Okay, yeah, I don the name. Yeah, I'll be on that one soon. Yeah, it's gaming reviews. I know you're a big it's that so I love to have you on Okay, um, yeah, I don't I don't know but it

What I was gonna say is I think the biggest one of the biggest indicators of like a child's is is parent involvement and your Papa your mama didn't know Your mama didn't even notice My mom's fault like sack of shit. I guess those two credits are pretty important. Yeah, fucking about a kitten shirt My kid winds up like you I'm fucking throwing them up What are you saying about that doesn't matter? Okay, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go We're working at a diner. I'm just trying to escape my Greek Reality's but I'm nothing more than an educated immigrant to you guys. I mean, okay, you know, you're looking around

I got two black guys. I got a Mexican. I got a Greek. I got an Indian Yeah, I got a Jersey broad right? This is the make up. This is the make a lack of diversity in the past like three months of the show. Well, you put a region. Oh shit You know, I'm just too New York black guy You put a vegan yeah, I thought you were Mexican. No, no, no, no, family's Puerto Rican and about a quarter Italian Fuck that's crazy. You look so Mexican. Do I really? Yeah, bro. Yeah, what's your Bobby? Yeah, I thought you were Mexican. I'll see you you Spanish. She's still a minority pretty much right so now

You lived in San Antonio with mostly Mexicans. Oh, yeah, and did they think you were Mexican? Pregnally, isn't your family own a Mexican restaurant? Tex mix. Is that the one you took me to? Yeah. With the nacho chips. That's right. Yeah, you can. Wait a minute. How does a Puerto Rican family own a fucking Tex mix?

Because my father came from Puerto Rico in San Antonio. Well, where's its mix part? Yeah, I get to text with the Mexican cuisine and then they add a little bit more flavor to the rice. Bring that micany in, Mike. A little bit. There we go. A little bit more flavor to them. Bring that mic and the amaz. A little bit. There we go. Don't try to eat it.

A little bit more flavor. A little more. I'll just chew it. And that makes it check getting hung really. So it's a little bit different. We can breathe. And yeah. No, I get it.

It's just that we thought you were Mexican. And like at first I thought Bobby was being racist. I really did it first. And then I was like, I look at you. No, no, no, no, I didn't even come on out. So I look over, I look over. You don't have to. I'm not going to I look at him and go, he's max again. Yeah, because I look at him.

What do I have to do? Girl, I fucking little thin mustache for you to not think I'm a racist? What? What? I'm a racist. Sometimes I just get some time. Sometimes? I like what you're saying.

What were you getting at, though? I just wanted it sometimes sometimes I like what you're saying. What were you getting at though? I just want to say Take that laugh away from the mic a little bit, right? Fucking stepping on my other lines on throwing out there and I have a question stupid Greek cackel Are you hungry? Oh, I'm really hungry. I'm relieved because you're what your your son's why My name is Brandon Collins PhD and a sociology. I was wondering your son is going You don't got a PhD. Did you get? I was going to

Oh, that's a saying School of Yeah, I'm a badger's degree in council. I get what we gonna say. I was gonna ask about your son Like how are you a because I I was gonna ask about your son. How are you gonna, because I understand the whole idea about the lack of diversity maybe it's a new school. How are you gonna to help your son navigate

when he gets older? Because by the time he's in the 30s, the minor is gonna be the majorities now. Been against him, friends. So how, I'm just curious, it's like a straight white kid. I told you, I told my wife that we have to get max. He has to have more friends. Okay, like I want to at this age, two, he's three. But I'm really adamant about getting him other friends. And I think it's important to get friends

that black friends, Spanish friends. For sure. I think it's important that he sees other people. And he, because he's not, I think if you see, if you become friends at that age, with a black kid or a white kid, and you know, you're just gonna grow up color blind. It's not gonna, it's just gonna be your friend or whatever.

Just what what? And your races will come into play later when you can make a decision. And I also think too, that I want him to meet people, you know, they're forced together with these kids and not all kids get along. Some, let me tell you right now, some kids are fucking assholes. And more right now, some kids are fucking assholes.

And more than that, their parents are fucking assholes. I'm actually playing the other data at this house. And Max, there's two kids playing. And we taught Max, don't go up and just grab shit. Max is a big kid. He's an alpha kid. He'll go up and just fucking grab somebody, fucking man.

And just take it and he'll look at you while you cry and be like, but he walks up He'll walk up and go, hey, can I play guys? And the kid went no Oh you and I look at the parent and I go I'm waiting for this fucking Sorry, Mike. I got it Alan. This person is a shit person And on of Chris I'm not gonna yell today. Shit person triggered something in your brain. Just screaming at somebody. Just violent anger.

Yeah. Triggered Chris. Go pour in my. Yeah, I was like, I was waiting. And my wife, my wife's the shit. She's like, you know, you know, you know, you know, you shoot all playable. And I was like I was waiting in my wife my wife's the shit. She's like, you know, Matt, you know You know, it's you know, you should all play blah blah and I was like hey max look at this and I grab I go check this out And we started doing this thing and he's like hey, and he's like, but it's like wow you're getting rejected at fucking three By people that don't know that if a parent stepped in and went you know what?

That's not nice that you do that to max you You should say, yeah, it's good to play. It's good, and they'd be like, okay, come on, sit down. You teach your kid out of, that's why the world is fucked up. Stop worrying about the world. Worry about your fucking world. Raise a kid that's gonna hold the door for people. Raise a kid that's not gonna fucking hate anybody because they're skin color,

or who they wanna stick their dick in, okay? And the world will be a better place. You're not gonna change fucking adults. Can't do it. Cause once you're that, you're that. That's it, once you're that, you're that. And, you know, so I gotta find, I have to find, I told my wife, we need to find friends that Max

jives with Max's You mind if I play while sure So magical Negro shows up at the play Little black man, you're like waffles Max walks up here can I play what you bring it to the table You dream from the well you got to replenish the well There was a girl on my bowling team that wouldn't play patty cake of course Lucky it's bowling Where were you on a ball? 10

Oh Fuck it balls it That's that now in sports Dude that's A ball Bowling is for when you give up as an adult Or as a child Start off with bowling

Yeah Next up Next up at Lane 7 Deep I got nice. She's one like the whole team was like playing Atticac with each other. Yeah, it's not a long story Wish That's not a long story, it was a game. It was a game. I wish it was. What was it? So some other members of my team are playing paddock cake with each other, doing some hand fucking game or whatever.

I was like, hey, can I play? And she was like, no. Do you understand that? Oh, I want to stop you real quick. I want to stop you, because this is one of your issues. You have this. Because we talk. Sure, we talk, not about the show,

but we've had our long conversations about real talk about relationships, about, but, and one of the things about you, I know I'm weird. No, it's not you know weird at all. You're not weird at all. It has nothing to do with weird. You're actually rather sane because you learned from life. I've seen you learn, but one of the things, like sexy women or hot brawds or whatever, and these people you fucking instinctually are like fuck them. And that's what I don't want Max to have that.

Because at some point somebody wasn't there to go, hey, that dumb bitch's parent wasn't there to go, hey, this is, this is depot. You remind me like a little Grinch. Remember that movie Grinch? That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. What do you want to do?

He's real cute. Well, the girls would make it for them but he looked at the tables. They have the same facial hair. Listen, the Grinch does show prep. So, well, no, but here's a deal. I, you know, shut up. I have to say something.

I thought that was funny. What are you? See, you're doing it now. You're taking something. I thought that was funny. What are you seeing? You doing it now? That was funny. No, no, no, the mic is like a condescending laugh. Because there was just like that little moment of, is this gonna bother you? You guys so worried. But you do, you get paranoid. And people think it's a brown thing and it's's just, you know, it's a personal thing. It's a personal thing with you, dude.

Look, Indians have a lot of pride. Like I say, if you don't pick a fight with Indian, because they will not back down. It doesn't matter how big you are, or if you have a fucking ML, a gun, a fucking knife, they'll love you. Don't fucking push me, man. You know, whatever the accident is, right, making it.

It's not true to you, man. Probably because she's proud. So this is what I'm talking about. Man, that's what I'm talking about. So, but that is a thing with you, and I see that with you. Sure, yeah. And because I'm not just you,

I see other friends of mine, like, and my stuff, like, I don't, I try. I don't yell in front of my kid. Yeah. Like, I don't, like, I have a problem with that. You know, I know that, but I don't, I don't scream at my kid, I don't hit my kid, but the other day he was hit.

You know, he's, he's hit my, he was all whipped up. It was our fault. We gave him a cupcake, a half a cupcake, all the shit he's throwing at. And he's like, fuck, it's nine o'clock. He's like, he's hit my check. He hit my, and mama's like, you don shit. You're strong enough. And he's like, fuck, it's nine o'clock. He's mad. And he's to hit my check.

Hit mommy. And mommy's like, you don't do that. And she puts him, you know, and he goes, now he's getting the time out. He goes in for the time out. But you're not supposed to leave the kid in the time out by himself, because that will fuck his head up just being alone, thinking, so you have to go in and talk to him.

Why, you know, you know, why you're in a time out? And she's like, you know, she's like, you know, and he hit her again. He's laughing. Well, because he thinks he's funny now. And he goes, Max, and she's like, and he hit her again. He's laughing. Well, because he thinks it's funny now. And she goes, Max, and she's like, now she's stuck, she painted herself into a corner where it's like, he's just thinks it's funny.

So I had to go, Max, knock it off. Right. And that scared him. I shouldn't, I didn't want to do that. That was some, now my, I regretted at his age, I got punched. Well, you know, I'll forget for a second. Yeah, but then,

you got the fuck up. But here's the deal. I didn't want to do that to him, because now he was, he got scared. He was like, you know, you yelled at me. I was like, listen, I'm so sorry. I made a mistake. I had to tell him, I made a mistake.

Oh, fucking three-year-old. That I made a mistake. I didn't mean, but when you weren't listening and you were hurting mommy, it really made me sad. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's a constant. I'm doing this not just from Max, for all of you. Yeah.

I'm doing this for all of you guys. I'm doing this for all of you guys. So that later in life, this kid is a good person. And you can't walk on him. You're not going to be able to push over. He's not a people, but he's not a fucking piece of shit. Because if my kid did what that girl did to him, I would walk over him and be like, listen, you can't do that.

This is, you know, and if you had somebody do that that day, if someone, a parent came up and then touch everything, changed everything. You wouldn't hate more now. Right. No. Hey, come on. There's plenty of other reasons to hate Laura.

Yeah, we're fucking not really how big your tits are. Big, small, big again. Fucking giant vad. All right, we're gonna wrap this up right now. I gotta go down and do a spot. I'm doing a spot tonight, then I'm doing a comedy 101 over at the village underground.

Nice, dope. And then, I think that's it, right? Yeah. And we have the beautiful tour going on, the two story tour. Robacadelive.com, we are in Michigan all week me and stop roasting. That's right. Hulk-yous.

And then the weekend after where it comedy works in Saratoga. Cam comedy works in 18th, 19th. Yeah, that's great. Tommy runs that club up there. It's going to be fun. They have a great cigar bar in there. Go to the left button for all of our content. We're giving them.

We got a bunch of videos up there. We're actually putting some more videos up there. What else, Robyn? That's it. And then of course, go to, and download the app. You got an iPhone, you got an Android phone, 3 app, YKWD podcast. And available in browser too.

That's a big question. What do you mean? If someone doesn't want to put on their smartphone for whatever reason, you can also access it and have premium episode content. Right on your browser. and the website is one second That's why D-Poo is fucking D-Poo on the new Instagram too. We'll get to that but for to have Quiet down honey

Hey Lauren This is your chance Here's a deal that That wasn't being. I first want to go. I don't consider that country, what he did. He was in them literally in the middle of the, he just got the fucking we're in this. She interrupted him. You're out of breath. She could have waited. He went, we're going to get to that very. He could have said, shut your fucking stupid mouth. Jersey trash. Down, down. But I'm not a member. I think you wish I were I think that's

Oh We're getting into some stuff hang on did you say down bimbo down? Title now I mean yeah Right in down Lauren You. She's down. You know, she's not a bimbo. No, I know. Why is there counseling happening?

Yeah, but what's with you guys? What's that? I'll show you. He started it. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because, you know, Skullbow left. We have to flush out the system.

We're starting from scratch. Yeah. Lauren actually kicked ass tonight. Yes, you're great. Well, you did, Greg. I didn't even know. Shut up. Bye.

Right, that's one of an absences. Well, there's not any credits, Mike, relax. Yeah. Follow me. Yeah. What are you downstairs? What are you? Very quickly, if you want to access the content in a browser,

you can just go to Robert Kelly, dot, lipson, libbsyn.com. Great, awesome. Get that premium content, $199. It helps us. It helps these guys in your support in the show. And you get premium content. We're putting new stuff up there. I'm actually, we're going to do so. I'm going to get some stuff, some video up there this week, me and Stavvy, maybe in Michigan,

and a little audio up there. We're going to be starting to do some one-on-ones. I know I'm promising, but I'm in the middle of this tour right now, but we're going to get stuck in some more premium content. And these guys, are you still doing the after show? Maybe not today, but in the future, yes. Okay, we're going to be starting the after show. Those are going to go behind the premium content too for you guys. But don't worry, if you don't have the money, 10 episodes are always free.

You never have to pay for the show. Unlike other places. Good. What else would you do? Should we start with everyone's Twitter handles and dates? Sure. Yeah sure. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Oh, what's up guys? Brand the Collins. What's up, my boy? Check me on American Collins and also should be the platforms American Collins.com Check out Mike and I's podcast comedy outliers live show Saturday, November 12th Sean Sparring Kitchen 42 West 48th Street.

It will sell out because we've been selling out the past few months. Nice job, show. And then check out my medium popcorn movie podcasts as well. All right, Tunes, Citroën. That's tough to cool, cool. Let's get to all the stuff. Yeah, Michael Bewrepa. OK, you can follow me.

Oscar Gonzalez said OG reporter on Twitter and Instagram. And let's do us the geeks of New York, me and Do. That comes out on Monday. We're going episode three. We talk everything geek. Still that video games. Tech, movie, TV, whatever comes up. Do the comic books. We'll talk about it to the next episode up here so I can see a clean version. Okay. I like to see a clean version. What do you got besides my everything I have? Yeah, whatever Bobby has whatever he's crazy enough to let me get on my shirts. We've got plenty of true story tour shirts. Please come by some. Yeah, we get shirts on sale. That was just grumpy hurry up. I got a go at Stavvy baby on Instagram.

Stav comedy, uh, Stav comedy on Twitter and of course listen to come town Yes, and Bobby will be on very soon. Yes, I would love to be on so yeah, thanks. All right. What do you got deep? Well first we're going to the Judy gold you know at Judy Yeah, WDY GLD and on Twitter and my stuff are too deep Across the board doing a podcast with him doing some other podcast, producing other shows on the round. He is the motherfucker. He's stepping up. What do you got Mike? And don't forget to check out the new podcast Brown Gold with me. If that happens, I'm quitting. Stop it. If I'm the creator of that one, that's a great name. Listen to it on ridecast soon Listen great show you know

The chat room did you read anything in the chat room? Any good stuff. What do you got? Yeah, they were calling Judy gold Judy Gomez Judy Gomez is the funny The thing you go as is the funniest together. It's so funny. You're too much. We. Guy, what else you got? They said you and Judy should do a bang-bang together.

Oh, God. Who is that mean, Sissering? Yeah. Someone also said this podcast is so diverse, it looks like a Cheerios commercial. I love that. They just had a black family, that wasn't it? What happened to them? what they said the reason why stabby was kicked out of or stopped going to college Sorry, we're girls. He was following girls at home at night on campus. Oh my god

Well, they're actually factual. Is that real? I disagree with that They also said that case was settled the out of court Also said Stavvy is the six-year-old son of Judy and Bobby. Oh, yeah What do you got baby? I just at Lauren Cabera on Twitter Instagram? I actually listen man That you're Mike Brown at you're my brown bread it in plug me as a jerk at you. Oh my brother show whenever that at you Mike Brown follow me follow me for your updates on Mike Brown on Judy Gold, the new podcast. I'm doing Bobby, you know, Bobby and Brown, you know, you know, Bobby Brown.

Bobby Brown. I'm gonna go. Listen. I'm a loomable show. I think it was fucking great. What's up? It's went really well. Really great.

I hope you love the new format. We're gonna be changing a lot of things around here. Again, we're gonna I'd like to go out on sad music and we all standing rise for Chris Scopo. And the best and the best and peace Chris scope. He's alive. He's alive. We're still friends. I want to put the total Chris's microphone. You guys can we have this bronze then have a plaque for him? Keep it, just like that. Just a big ass. Put it right over the microphone.

You can go to draftkings.com that can only be dedicated to Chris, man. Use that promo code, Kelly. All right, you guys, Chris Gopo, God bless you. Goodbye, everybody. Thanks for listening to... You know what, dude? Podcasts.

You've been listening to the YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. ¡Tienes un poco de la gente! ¡Vamos a los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de los chiles de Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad.

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