Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Matt's Rubbing Tree

Episode Date: October 10, 2013

Robert is joined by Bailey Jay, Matt Terhune, Diabolique Magazine's Ken Hanley, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo for a special Halloween episode. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. ¡Pluito TV! ¡Ven a verlo sin pagar nunca! 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno...

Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar todo el 3 por uno en medianas a domicilio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por uno... ¡No, no, no! ¡Dominos! Picha. ¿Sapará? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah, no, no, no. ¡Dómitos! ¡Pizza! Solicitad tu beca información en la caixa.org I try to keep it like a comic-can. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense.

It's Robert Kelly's. You know what? You know what? Okay. There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. Why you cast a girl? Side.

Side. Side. Yeah, motherfucker. I love that. You're probably going to take her in. We are live. We are you streaming the first ever little official you stream. We got a three camera shoot. My name is Robert Kelly. The host of YKWD and do I get she easier when this camera. Hi, we got a very special show tonight. It's Halloween, scary, fucking monster-y, fucking spooky show, October show.

We got a lot of friends on tonight, so I'm excited. There's some Monday Night Show, we're doing live, you stream, finally get the cameras in the studio, the YKWD studios. Thanks to you fans for sending in donations. Bing, Bing, and Bing.

Go ahead, show them the three camera shoot. Let's introduce our guests. We have first of all, Kelly Fistilka. Hi, mate, how you going? This is Kelly, and there's Matt Turhun. Hi, the fucking man with the plan. That's me. That's him.

Good friend of mine. Ended a lost connection. We lost connection. Okay, keep f-. Okay. We're recording. So hit the fucking buttons as fast as you can. You have to wait.

I'm okay. So anyways, all right, we're back. Now, so Kelly introduced the show. Over here, to my right, actually go over here that was your glasses put your glasses on It's too fucking dark. Just put the glasses on we have Tom Cruise Why money only one wearing a costume? You told me to wear a costume the only one wearing a costume look at me look at the microphone. I told them I told them it was a costume podcast.

And no one else dressed up, you fucked him so bad. That's high school bullshit, I love it, but. You know what though, I fucking look good in these glasses. So, you know what? It's the glasses in the hair. I love the fact that you went out and he bought the fucking gayest. You know what? I had this in two years ago.

He's like, Kelly, where's your costume? And I'm like, no, where's your costume? I'm like, no one's wearing costumes, cockhead. He bought a jumpsuit. He has a fucking jumpsuit, and your little fat, midget ass, fit in it. You know how hard it was to get up to get this thing on me? My ass makes me so happy that you're open. It looked like an idiot.

I'm so happy you did that. All right, so Kelly introduced the show. Okay, so to my right we've got Matt and he's a man with a plan I believe. I've met you guys before and I'm so excited. But also your partner in crime, move the Bailey giant. That's me. I'm here. What are they doing here?

Me too. And last but not least, we've got Ken, Hanley. Correct. From a dollar-bully. What tells you about dollar-bully? The Abelique magazine is a horror publication. Where did the magazine go? Oh, I have here.

Huh. Here. Ah. She was on the camera. Yeah, no problem. But yeah, we're a horror magazine, relatively new to the game, but we sort of want to do coverage of horror films with a little more of a, like, articulate spin, a little bit more thought process. Horror films are such an obsession, aren't they?

A little bit, yeah, sort of. Number one, go ahead, quick. Number, how could you do that? Not in here, do it, quick. Okay, big cross. Shit, David Kronenberg is the brood. How could you do that? I can't do it quick. Okay, they're fast shit David Kronenberg is the brood What the fuck is that? I don't even know what that is. I've never heard of it either it's a movie from the 70s and Essentially David film student, you know, I really like his oldest stuff

You know, I love all of Kronenberg stuff But it's his I think it's his best and it's just sort of like at the time he made it It was going through a really messy divorce. So he made this movie just about like, this couple going through a divorce, and the wife is like manifesting creatures out of herself to kill the people that she hates, that are the facts of their life.

It's incredibly good and really, really creepy. No. Now you see, you seem to like fucking really obscure. Well, the bandwidth is totally, I think, either too many people are going in this fucking watching this right now. And I'm going to have to splurge and spend money on this fucking. I love splurging.

I really am a nickel chaser when it comes to the fans. It's free? I'm in. Anyways, you, you, you're like a really, you look obscure, crazy shit that people have never heard of. I'm a pretty much basic, hard guy. I watch what Hollywood tells me to watch. You go and find some fucked up shit. I'll watch anything that comes out.

If you're really a film fan, you'll just want, if it comes out, it's like, why not? Well, you Bailey is the same way, right? Right, right. I like the older stuff too even the popular stuff like Rosemary's baby and and the exercise All that stuff rose burrs. Maybe though. I mean let's seriously was it scary? Yeah, because it's psychological It's I mean because everybody's in on it. Just the idea of you know that paranoia. I have that like now I feel like you guys all don't like white people White people paranoia stuff. That's white people shit. Yeah, the paranoia stuff. Wait a minute, black people don't give paranoia. No, I, okay, I tweeted about this reason. You've never seen a black guy in the shower in jail. No, I mean, I tweeted about this the other day. I was like, there's only like

white people that listen to Alex Jones, like, the world's over. Everyone's gonna put you in a FEMA camp because black people have actual problems. So white people that listen to Alex Jones like the world's over Everyone's gonna put you in a FEMA camp because black people are the actual problems So white people like make up problems like the media is controlling us and all that mean like bullshit So anyway white people are paranoid. I just my point. Yeah, I guess we are paranoid, but we're also rich That's true I don't fucking believe it literally. I just bought probably 700 dollars with the high-deaf cameras I just bought probably 700 dollars worth of high-deaf cameras. We're filming this, and this fucking dumb Australian is holding up an iPad 1 and video taping it. It has a camera.

Don't mind me, guys. You're supposed to use what his name's phone when you do it. I have like 4x3. Let me try it for it a little bit, and then we'll go all right, please look into the camera I'll keep you glasses on by the way the whole show fucking that fuck you your Tom Cruise All right First of all on the ice man. Oh, you're the oh cuz of the hey have Rick maverick Tell me I'm dangerous up there

Look at the camera. Come here. Tell me I'm dangerous. Bob you like it. The camera's right there. You have fucking a Talking to the mic. What the fuck is this? What are you? You know what, stupid. Don't tell me anything. You're just dumb. You literally, I said, because you stepped away

from the camera and the mic. You go look into the, look into the, the fucking mic. What the fuck, the camera. Whatever, any of the mics over here. I have the stupid 1997 fucking thing over here. That's the best mic stand in the world right there. That's a professional fucking mic stand. You should just bite at you.

Yeah, we should all slow motion volleyball later. I'll take my shirt off. Probably the volleyball. All right, so it's October. It's time to fucking watch these movies. It's time that they're all rolling out. I kind of wanted to talk about, um, first of all, I wanted to talk about your favorite horror

movies, uh, you, and see what those are. And I want to talk about some of the movies that I just watched. And also I want to talk about what I, I, I, I don't seem to fucking, I don't think they can get it right is a haunted house. I've been to a fucking scary haunted house. Number one, though, you know where I was in a real scary haunted house? In LA, they took over a storefront, some fucking restaurant or some big furniture store

that went out of business. They took it over for two months and they built their own horror Little fucking haunted house in there and they had real actors No, and I'm a try I'm not gonna get scared by a fucking snake a giant snake head that goes Very And I can hear the fucking mechanism working before it fucking jumps out at me. And they had like little kids,

they had this little kid that just stood there and went, mommy, mommy holding a little baby and her eyes were white. I think it was illegal, what they were doing. I mean, and it was fucking amazing. I was with my chick. And then the little girl The little girl's mommy came out and she was fucked up and she touched my wife. Don like where

She grabbed her van just out of fucking eating her ass all out. I thought this is where this is going. I guess you're being very excited But that's why we don't go to the one by us. We're afraid you're gonna get the last week at the thing up by us Apparently the guys who work at the place are like grabbing chicks tits and like going up their skirt and touching the It's in the woods. It's in the middle. How is your what a surprise would he get right? You should go Like I let him get up there and grab you just yeah You're here. I have a huge pussy. I've wrapped it up in that. I have World's biggest vagina.

Yeah. I just sneezed on your hand. My buddies lived. My buddies lived. Into the camera. And put yourself on camera. My buddies live three houses down from the Amityville Horror House. Oh, no way.

In Long Island. Yeah. Yeah, I just watched back in the neighborhood. It's crazy about this time of the year. If people just come and just stop and take pictures of the house. Does anyone live there now? Yeah, the family lives there. What?

If people say nothing happened, nothing happens. Nothing happens. I've heard it's kind of bullshit. Yeah, it hasn't been a bullshit about it. It's pretty much the guy was crazy before he even shot at us. I get off us. Look at it just stopped because it was on us too.

Yeah, look, first of all, this U-stream, this, when you get started here, I'm just going to tell everybody the fucking U-stream, there's no fucking internet in lower Manhattan. We talked about this last week. There's no vios, there's no fucking awesome holy shit. You know, it's 2013 internet that everybody else fucking gets, Kansas City gets, the middle of fucking nowhere, cow town's web, doesn't matter, gets better internet, then the mecca, the fucking Rome of the world,

the motherfucker of the motherfuckers. Through the realm of the movie, Rome. And we don't fucking have good internet apparently down here on fucking McDougal Street. annoys me for some reason. So anyways, do you believe in ghosts? Do I believe in ghosts? Yeah, that's what I'm looking at.

Complicated question, but yeah, sure, why not? Do you believe in demons? I'm sure, I probably don't believe in demons, but in terms of ghosts, it's something where it's like, yeah, if you're logical about it, it's not as scary, but you put yourself in a dark room at night, like you'll start believing a lot of shit. Yeah, totally.

What do you believe in ghosts? Oh yeah, I'm really big into the occult. I mean, I'm friends with the church of Satan. No, I didn't know that. You didn't know that one. God, I would like you to leave. I'm a church. They don't worship Satan, okay, but they're wonderful people wonderful the why isn't the church of Satan? It's complicated

Well, it gets it depends on what kind of they're wonderful people though They're really are they're the nicest people I've ever met in my life They really have been the most loyal friends and they're they're really good people But sort of anti-religion Right like the Leveig is to right ever the word is I'm not a Satanist religion and make fun of the anti-feeist statement. But there are some people who still practice the occult and are members of the Church of Satan. I read cards.

I do. I practice stuff. Okay. Here's the thing with the Church of Satan. The word Satan is in it. It's meant to fucking get on annoying Christiansians nerves like it like it was spooky but there really just anti-fews okay so back in the day though like if you go to uh...

was it uh... davi mackey's place i think it is that what it's called what bomb a key bomb a key really the guy who made shares out of joker okay the game it shares up okay okay no not that fucking that that's the only bomb Mackie there is ask any I forget where the fuck it is is this haunted bar Country bar in somewhere if someone can do we lose connection again? I know what you're talking about Anyways Just keep starting and you fucking top top gun

What's your name in the movie anyways? Ice. You're the ice man. I don't need to swear, I was just asking. I mean I'm the ice man. All right, you're the ice man. You know why I'm the club in ice man? Why?

Because I fly ice cold. So it's this fucking internet, which is called this internet. Look at the bandwidth. It's just people. I think it's being crashed. Yeah. Yeah, there's too many people jumping in. There's how many people are in? Can you tell? Let's see. 20. How many? 15. I don't know. Guys, I apologize. We apologize for this thing crashing. I don't know if it says. I don't know what the fuck we're gonna have to do. We're gonna have to figure this out. But we're just gonna keep starting and restarting it and go suck a dick. I mean, I don't know what to tell you I mean, this will be out on the YKWD channel as a podcast so you can all listen to this through your earbuds from tweet.io.com

Yeah, just type in Like that with the camera's down and get 33th of them off free shipping and a limited lifetime warranty whatever the fuck that means It's limited, but it's a lifetime So apparently you have AIDS We back up ice we're good to go with the discount code Dude for what is it for you guys Bailey Bailey? Oh, that's so cute. Everything's very self-absorbed on my show Bailey show I Don't I'm a little bit more absorbed in my show. A really great show. I, um, I don't,

here's the thing with these ghosts and like Satan, back in the day, they, Satan worships, you know, supposed to be a lot of people's head off and it sacrifices. All right. Is that true? Did back in the day. Of course.

So how many people have died in the name of Jesus Christ, though? All right, listen, I don't want to make this a religious thing. I just say it. This is October. This isn't December, okay? So I'm serious, All right, listen, I don't want to make this a religious thing. I just say it. This is October. This isn't December, okay? So I'm serious, you know, like, have they changed their image like the KKK over the years? But I mean, I'm obviously, I'm not like a wealth of knowledge on the subject, but what

I do know from the people I know are in the church of Satan, they were Satan worshipers, but as like an organized thing and like Anton Leve from, you know, way back in the day. But didn't it worship Satan? No. Did anybody ever worship Satan? I think it was mostly a lot of publicity and then once again I'm not a wealth and knowledge on the subject but from what I understand a lot of it was a publicity statement a lot of it was controversial. I mean, uh, freaking Sammy Davis Jr. was in the church of Satan. Why?

Because it was like an anti-theist cool beaton in the business. So it has nothing to do with Satan? No. No, but they I think I want them to change. There are people that do worship a party. Who? I think just people who are stupid. There are people who worship Satan. So there's people that

worship Satan. But I don't believe like, but the church itself doesn't a connoisseur. It doesn't make sense. But the imagery, it's an anti-theist statement and the imagery. It's a, say, anti-theist again. I'm going to get it. I'm sorry, but it's anti, well, you know what I mean?

They're just doing it. You're about to say it again. You're's literally the anti-Christ. And Christians are annoying, so they're making a statement. Well anti-Christ, I kind of just said it again, just broken up. I have second-fossing virgins on an altar. No, I mean they know any virgins. I'm a training porn star and I'm friends with them. I don't know, virgins, but I don't know.

I didn't know you had dimples. I do! I also run the back of my thighs too. I know that. Sorry, I'm not. I almost got video tape in it and I won't look. I blame you, Z. I know what your cock looks like. It's true, you see that stuff.

My son is pissed on your foot. That's true. You want even let me piss on his feet. That's pretty good. Yeah, well, she's doing it with socks on it. Let you do it. That's true. So here's the thing.

I've never had an experience with a ghost or a demon. But I go, OK, I'm watching this movie. What was the Star Wars? Star Wars? No. It was with Ethan Hawke. Sinister? Sinister. Yeah, talking to him, bring your mic down a little bit

so we can hear you. Sinister. Okay, and it's about, can you get explained? Do you know, sure. Yeah, I got it. Sinister is about this writer, and he moves into a house in which a family was killed, and he goes to do like a true crime novel about it, and then discovered

it was a box full of videotapes, and the videotapes all sort of connect to other murders that happened at the same house. So it's a very yes. That sounds awesome. It's first of all you need to rip all that stuff off. Take it all off. Yes. Yeah, because the fans are complaining that you can't see you. You can't see people. You can't really see.

Actually they want you to take that and put it on his microphone. You can't really see a face. You see me now? Yeah, you're good. It leave me now. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you're good So yeah, it's it's a fucked up movie, but here's what's fucked up about it. There's this a Ragool or some shit a Muggle Muggle and they have these okay, so the guys watching these video tapes that he finds in the fucking addict Which I would have moved out right then right right right? I these video tapes that he finds in the fucking addict which I would have moved out right then right right right I find video tapes uh... I'm out I'm out somebody lives and they show the death of the this family of four and they they're in a they're they're

hanging they have a new surround their necks somebody literally a saw is just sawing a branch off the branch falls you don't see us doing it the branch falls you don't see who's doing it the branch falls it fucking lifts them all up and hangs them all and then easy goes in a slow motion he sees magoo magoo magoo bagel in the background you see this fucking crazy creepy demon looking fucking and and and and in and and and and every and they're it's like that was like you know day out and then they had the barbecue and then they had pool party and it said pool party on the thing and little the pool party is these family and a pool and then the somebody's

videotaping them and then they show them all taped to lounge chairs I'm giving you a spoiler alert to too, by the way. Way too late. I literally just ruined the whole movie. I don't know if people just turn this off. Ethan Hawkson is. I don't think that many people planned on seeing it. I don't like you. He bums me out. He's got meth face or something.

He's one of those guys though, who could went from young, cute dude to older actor, and he's pulling it off. He's pulling this dad gray hair. I think guys like him. I think I wouldn't want to have sex with him. Yeah, I wouldn't want to have sex with him either, but. That's usually my criteria though, for how much I care about things.

Yeah, that's not mine. That's my penis. Yeah, that's not mine. I care about the art. And then's not mine. That's my penis. Yeah, that's not mine. I care about the art. And then the art of Ethan Mark. But he was great in it. He was great. And it was a really fucking great movie.

And it freaked you out. But what they tend to do at the end of these movies is they get a little too fucking mystical or CGI or? You know what I mean? Yeah, and I I have a theory that there's like only maybe a handful of good like horror movies that have good endings Yeah, like if you just like try to think of like horror movies that great ending Exorcist all right great ending. Yeah, yeah of the best Endings that came to mind for me Exorcism is good though because it's simple. It's like who's the bad guy the devil But then everything else like there was what one was the other one in city Yes and stuff. There's a demon bed like long ago 300 years ago

You have to do this wish and this power and like there's too much there's too much bullshit behind us Yeah, I'm making a bad guy So the best ones are the simple ones like the shining all the shining god It's literally just this place is evil Yeah, right. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's that so the shining was more of Here's the thing though is like is there a difference between a scary move. All right. It was scary the shiny was scary But it was more life-scary than Booskin go scare what Bobby what?

You're not connected to the flash server given the IP address What did you just say to me Can not connect to the flash server at the given IP address verify this server is reachable either given I Hit okay and start it again. This is why we stopped doing life shows It's just keeps interrupting yeah go to no okay there you go life we're good boom we're gonna win never do we're gonna go to YouTube I think I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do I really don't I'm sorry the bandwidth is so fucking shitty here I don't know what the fuck to do with this not I can't I

would pay to get better bandwidth but I can't, I would pay to get better bandwidth, but it doesn't exist. That's crazy. It doesn't fucking exist. It sucks a dick. It's gonna crash again. I don't know if it's because there's too many people going in the chat. How many people in the chat? Not many, I don't think. You could lie. I don't want you to Don't you can lie Nautical the air. It's full people you're bobbing right? I don't know. I don't know I can see it It's like 600 where right there in the back of the monitor. Oh, thank you man. Yeah, it's a 600,000 people People now we got five two Says Kelly is smoking hot

There was 26 people in there So I don't know what the fuck's going on that shouldn't be crashing it anyways as Kelly is smoking hot. Yeah, like. There was 26 people in there. So I don't know what the fuck's going on. That shouldn't be crashing. Anyways, fuck it, yeah, back to the shining. Here's the thing, like there's a difference between that movie and the exorcist to me, as far as scary. One, yeah, that would suck that this dude is coming at you,

but I'll fight this motherfucker. He has no special powers. He has no demons on the side. He can't float or throw up or speak fucking different languages. He can't tell me what my grandmother thought and hell. But it's just like a seven pound woman and a child. It was you. You could fight him, but it's not. It's just his super skinny wife and the like they end up getting jelly devolved. Jelly devolved. What's the oil? What was casting ever? Yeah, they really had to like terrorize her, right?

And apparently him and Stanley Kubrick and her, it was just always a fight. Well, I heard he was doing it on purpose because her acting wasn't on like great. You might know better than the TV. You know, you can watch it on YouTube. There's behind the scenes footage of it with like Stanley Kubrick yelling at her while like,

in the background, Jack Nicholson is practicing the act. You're shooting me, really. It's amazing. That's amazing. You don't think though in life if she was the one being chased, she couldn't have bit him with that fucking massive overbiting. That's where there are 87 crooked teeth. She could have, she hit him with the bat.

Yeah, she could have. But then it goes, let him back out. She could have went right through that fucking door with her teeth. Yeah, she got it. But then the ghost let him back out. She could, she could have went right through that fucking door with her teeth. Oh, she's terrible in there. If you watch, she has like 87 sweaters on because they were trying to make her a human side. But also she's complaints, like in that behind the scenes,

she's like, he's like, get up and come on, we'll go to guys. She's like, I'm cold, I'm cold, put another blanket on shelly. She's like a fucking drip. Yeah. Really? She's just a piece of shit.

What is it? She's still around. She's fucking drip. Yeah. Really? She's just a piece of shit. What is it? She's still around. She's fat now, actually. Really? Well, I fat comparatively to being a human corpse. She is now blonde. I think a little bit better in. Yeah. Oh, Papa, Jesus, she was perfect for that. Yeah, right. No fucking tits. And she's good. Talk about a scary movie. Yeah. I think though between those two, there's a big difference between being scared shitless with the actresses. Like I didn't want to go to bed that night. Right.

I didn't want to see. Right. I felt like if I believed in demons, I would be possessed. Right. Like I got into, like it made me a believer in demons and the devil. Right. Um, do you believe in the devil? See, I can't, we talked about this in the interview that we did.

Yeah. I can't answer that because if I answer that, if I, if I give that thought, uh, any validity, if I, if I go through with that thought, what if that really works? What if that then does it? What if that works? What if that's all you have to do for the devil that come into your life? Is to go, I do believe in the devil.

Now I'm fucked. You just said you know. I was being somebody else. I was. That was cool. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, well that kind of sounds like you believe in them then.

Yeah, it kind of does. I mean, because I don't believe in the devil. You don't believe in the devil. No, I think that's made up. I think that's something that's that the things the kids don't trick off. Right. If I said I'm not going to go through that curtain because I think there's like a huge scary dude that's going to rape

me. Yeah. So then I just never go through the curtain. I never go through the curtain. Matt, you would run through. Yeah. Where are you? I think you believe in the devil. I don't. Jesus, don't say that. You you fucking You're manifesting now. Oh really? God damn the kipsy cults Say passively aggressively believes in the devil You believe in the devil? Yeah, not really not really Jesus Christ I don't so counter-accesses. I don't you don't believe in any ghosts. You don't believe in the devil The devil I don't believe in God. I don't believe in but ghosts, you don't believe in the devil. The devil, I don't believe in God, I don't believe in. But I'm like starting to transitionary, believe in spirits maybe.

Really? Yeah. Wow. Why? Just starting to get little signs. Like what? Like hearing songs, if I'm having a horrible day, that like an angel song or something.

It's not to get so pranked. That song, Pandora. OK, so I'm really involved in spirituality. And a lot of the stuff I've read say that when you are going through a hard time, you'll read a sentence for me and be like, oh shit, it'll just say stop worrying or whatever the thing is. And then that happens a lot. So it makes you sound schizophrenic because you don't want to talk about it to people. But there are certain things that I'm a person who used to not believe in God or any of that kind of stuff.

But then I started giving card readings, they were more and more accurate, and I really started helping people. And it's all really nice stuff. It's nothing scary, nothing scary's ever happened to me. But here's the thing, here's the thing that I don't understand with this stuff. If you, okay, where does all this horror,

where does demons, where are these ideas come from? Are they just from people's imagination? I think there's some type of truth to all this. Like aliens and ghosts and demons, somebody saw it somewhere. It's almost like, you know, if you look at movies now, back in the day that there was some day, we have the phones now. We have Star Trek shit now like they somewhere it was thought of was it was it just dreamed up? Is this all fake is this all bullshit? It was all like cautionary tales like the Grim brother stuff

Like it's all sort of like things that make you feel guilty and then you know This is a way to not feel guilty and then they just take the things that make you feel guilty and they put it in like a form of a Demon or something that lives under a bridge or something that's gonna like kill your kids. It's like one of the two. Right. So it's just basically all this shit is bullshit. Well, I mean, I think there is credibility to some stuff.

Like I said, I've been card readings and I've only really, from my perspective, worked in a more positive realm, I would say. But I mean, there's shitty people and good people in the world. I mean, every action has an opposite and equal reaction. I guess you know but I mean there's shitty people and good people in the world. I mean every action as an opposite Equal reaction. I guess you know what I mean. Yeah, so I mean, I think shitty people die and bad people die Well, and it's weird too like why don't like Animals deal with this shit. Why are they like like you know? Yeah, our consciousness. It's kind of freaky

Why is there no animal evil ghost? You know, I mean like a lion why why is it no lion ghost not actually would be more like an elephant ghost imagine an elephant ghost just coming down the fucking you like did you see that holy shit that'd be fucking nuts that's true let's read the name of the episode elephant this this fucking YouTube this you. I want to say this please broadcast I want you stream to know this I want you to fucking know this Tell me when we broadcast to go to go broadcasting right now. You good to go. Is it are you sure because it's blinking? You're good to go. It's not okay. Okay. Okay, you stream you fucking blow

You suck I should be able to fucking do this on my cell phone with LTE. Fucking service. Do you understand me? The fact that I am fucking, look, it's dropping again. Before it drops again, fuck you, you stream. From making this fucking out of reach for the average fucking asshole. The fact that you want five bills a fucking month to a thousand dollars just to do this shit. You fucking without us you are fucking nothing. Nothing. I hope you get possessed by a fucking demon.

I hope a demon Satan elephant demon. Huh? Elephant demon. Oh, but elephant demons fucking attack your fucking face. Sorry guys. I said I'd get that out. That was, that, and we're back. And here's the thing though, is that pretty much when I started looking into exorcisms

and the devil, what I believe, what made sense to me is that's what the devil is. Is, is, is based demons or being possessed is negative thoughts, is flipping out, is resentment, hate, rage. Right. And that's, it's not, it's not something, it's not a demon inside of you, it's you,

not controlling your fucking emotions and thinking evil or negative. I've totally thought that. Does that make sense? I've thought that in reference to, you know, I, I, I, a lot of people call it ego, I guess is what they call it, or like the other version of yourself, that just wakes up fucking being a dick. Like you're just shitty, you're irritable, you don't know why, and the next thing you know, it goes away, or then all of a sudden your wife is then being a cunt and you feel better. I always say it's almost like being possessed, but it's just like fucking shitty version of yourself.

Yeah. And then once it stops, you're just like, I don't know what that was about. I'm being a dick, I'm sorry. Yeah. But people always say, I don't know what came over me and I'm like, it's so funny because it's literally like being, I mean, I don't know how literal it is, but it's very much like being possessed.

Possessed, yeah. And that's, by a douchebag. And yeah, and that's, what are you doing? Given here my iPhone totally works, it's better. And so yeah, that's what I think makes sense. You know, look, I see those fucking people getting exercise. I would love to see a real accessism.

Would you, I'd be too scared, and I, a person who doesn't believe in the devil. On the YouTube, I don't want to be that. Oh, I thought you'd been like, you wanted front row center, like. I want to be on my iPad mini, with my wife next to me, so I go, huh, I see what he is doing. I just saw something scary.

I am the biggest pussy in the world. I am, let me tell you how fucking afraid I am. I will fight, I will fight a man, I'll fucking murder somebody from my family. I would, look at, if somebody was attacking, somebody I cared about Like right now the world goes to shit. We the apocalypse happens outside. I'm ready. I'm ready I'm ready to defend you guys. I'm ready for fucking crazy people to come up here I'll fucking I'll cut everybody's head off as they walk through the door if I you don't I mean yeah

Yeah, I mean, I'm not like that at all. I'm immediately dead immediately raped and then dead No, you know, we owe me and Matt. I'm gonna protect both you baby girls I'm gonna leave I'm gonna need both you Let me get raped once and then protect Yeah, keep it on her would you they want to see my fat face blapping? Just looked over and he's got it on the hall. Look like a fucking elephant walrus. We're gonna get a gun soon.

What? We're gonna get a gun soon. Yeah, we're gonna buy a gun. I mean, not like a hand gun. What kind of gun? Like a rifle? Like a shotgun. Why?

Because we want to have one because we live in the woods. But that's what we're worried about. Yeah, up there. Up there. Up there, scary. If the apocalypse does happen, we want to be ready. But that's my point though. Up to the purpose. Not pre rest. I was like social unrest a

Pock looks I can handle it fucking. I can't handle ghosts. No, you can't shoot a good. I'm done I'm fucking done when a ghost but it goes can't kill you. Yeah, but a ghost can drive you to die I think if you just don't believe in it. It's it's not gonna happen Yeah, we said that before but but then look, I've seen those, how do you explain this? How do you explain the guy, like I was watching this ghost hunting thing from back in the day? And the guy was talking about being scratched and attacked by a demon ghost. Yes, you see, that's not a ghost.

I mean, this is my grandpa. I saw him, then they show scratches happen. The three marks, right? Yeah. Which is supposed to be the mocking of the Trinity. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it? Yeah. Which is supposed to be the mocking of the Trinity. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, the thing is, any time something like that happens, the way it's explained at least, and you call, I'm not saying this is, this is the science of what's happening.

I'm just saying in theory, in the world of a cult, the theory is that, that is when it's a demon, it's not a ghost. Right. And because the thing is a ghost isn't necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it can be just be an imprint from something that happened, almost like a negative to a film, you know what I mean? Right, yeah. But then sometimes it can be conscious, and good, and then sometimes it can be just be an imprint from something that happened almost like a negative to a film, you know what I mean? But then sometimes it can be conscious and good and then sometimes it can be conscious and bad. If something bad happened and so, so if a series of bad things happen, a place they say it's a breeding ground for spirit. Right. And you can get attacked by demons.

What is the difference between a demon and a ghost though? That's the thing. I don't really know. I don't even, I think in the word demon almost makes it sound like, oh, everything in the Bible is true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just like, and I use the term angel too, but I'm not a know. I don't even, I think, and the word demon almost makes it sound like, oh, everything in the Bible is true. Yeah, yeah. And just like, and I use the term angel too, but I'm not a Christian. It's really just the terminology. I feel like everything is just a noise, whatever name you give it. So you understand that. Does that make sense to you? Well, I think the, and you guys saw the conjuring, right?

Yeah. First of all, can we just get this out of the way? How hot is Bailey? Pretty hot. Yeah. Dude, I'm a BL. I just wanted to get that, let it out. You like bigly ethnic change, like, I'm a guy in a jewelry.

I'm dying over here. I got some good view. You really are a fucking hot jewel. I covered up, I covered up, I got that. But she's so super cute, cause you got the t-shirt so tight and your titties look great. I'm just like, I fight a rubber band

cause I knew it was gonna be on camera. It was when I said hello to you, like a great. I'm just like, I tied him over a bank, so no one's gonna be on camera. It was when I said hello to you, and we hugged, and you're like, I gotta press a my chest, and I'm like, fuck it, I'm not. Both her tits were the same size. Oh God. She didn't have one lopsided one.

No, no, it's big, no, this one's bigger. That one's bigger than mine. I took good heart, I don't know. What are you trying to, fuck, Bailey? I can't lie. You wouldn't have to try that hard. Like, lazy or lazy. But you see it's so fucking stunning.

Would you let Bailey fuck you? I can't even handle it. Would you let Bailey fuck you? Well, she's got a dick and she's beautiful. I do have a dick and I don't even know what to do here. I'm so confused right now. I wish I could fuck you. I have no rhythm.

Because I'm like, I'm seriously. It's like I'm a chick with a dick. So I don't know what the fuck to do with it I'm just like your skin like your skin is amazing. Thank you. I don't know what she I can't I'm like jealous of her I just do my ball like for slin I've been on the entrance Kelly are we can we move back to my friend Ken? Kelly can we can we move back to my friend Ken

Demons can we get off your fucking Has it have chug now? We're all fucking filled up now think about you on the fuck Bailey I'm thinking of a Bailey riding Kelly's I feel like Joey raises Jesus Christ that was the sexiest thing ever. Kelly just turned into a fucking, like a top lesbian Puerto Rican from the alien movie. So go ahead, man.

But in the Conjuring, they actually explain it pretty cool as where it's like ghosts are like. The Conjuring is what, that's the movie. Yeah, so when it came out the summer with a Connecticut that was was Connecticut or New York I'm sending York and around there and here's a thing that bugs me about that is the same dude that was insidious is in that movie Yeah, well the same guy from insidious made it Yeah, but why did they cast the same actor? Because the same guy from insidious made it yeah, but we're gonna with that guy. Okay. Well fuck you

I need to I need to be able to suspend reality fuck face to watch your dumb movie I can't do that when I know that's the guy from insidious and now he's in the conjuring. Yeah, I can't do that So I just have a question the guy from insidious. I never saw insidious, but I didn't see the conjuring great Now the the guy and insidious was that the white dude from what was at the dude in Shit with the office space is that the same guy no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Go ahead, but like ghost are sort of what's left over from people and demons or stuff that would come from hell like stuff That has never been human right trying to like infest human stuff and then the conjuring was a demon With yes, I think yeah something like that. It was just like this witch that plagued her property Some weird shit right yeah, which is good blame for everything

I know a lot of witches and they're very nice people yet but that has to be bad which is i i can't i think it's a time difference way back when there's like hour evil now sort of just like a we have candles right now white which is there like which is now different than they are yeah let's be in line a broom and right right there's different there's got to be but there's got to be here's a thing that everybody says this what fucking first me out. You know, there's no such thing as this church of Satan doesn't worship Satan.

Witches aren't evil. They like pap reekers and frankincense and murder. Pretty much. You know what I mean? Okay, but there's gotta be, there's gotta be fucking evil witches out there. There's gotta be, like what? There's killers and then there's Jeffrey Dahmer. Like there's always different levels of things. All right, all right. That's it. I was one of five or something.

I love Jeffrey Dahmer. I know who love him, but I watched Jeffrey Dahmer files. And we really, I'm sure that shit about how the boy got out and then the cops found his like 14 year old agent love me. Yeah, and then the cops found him and he's like, oh, it's just a love as chief. You little scallywag. Let's get out of here. Yeah, and then the cops found him and he's like, oh, it's just a love of his chief, you little scallywag, get out of here. And then he went back and he killed him.

One time, the one time the cops didn't decide to harass a bunch of gay people. Yeah, fucking kid died. And it's really 90s of all time. He was scowled. And yeah, like a box full of penises, it was rough. Jeffrey Dahmer. What's wrong with that?

Yeah, I mean, why would he have that? Like it's a bad thing, come on. I remember I found a box, Jeffrey Dahmer. What's wrong with that? I mean, why would he have that? I remember I found a box. I used to work with these retarded people, mentally retarded people, and I remember I used to do it overnight shift at another house, and there was this gay guy that worked there, and you always try to hit on me, and I always blew him off. You know, and blew? Blow him off, you know. He's always trying to. I had my fucking Boston friends come over, you know, total fucking dud. And they came over one night to watch a fight or something. And I remember we were looking for the remote.

We couldn't find the remote for the TV. And I go, he probably has it in his room. He sometimes he takes it. His room was there. He lived there this guy. And he had a duffle bag. And I just remember looking in it. What the fuck is that?

And I grabbed it. It was just a duffle bag and I just remember looking in it. What the fuck is that? I grabbed it. It was just a duffle bag full of dildos. But not fucking like human dildos. They were dildos for like dinosaurs. Like just a fucking, it looked like a fucking rose beef, like a whole, that's the size of it. And then like a thumb at the end. I don't either.

I brought this bag in the other room and it was so, so it was not gay, it was interesting. Like these were Boston dudes. Like what are you, they were like, oh shit. We were like picking them up and throwing them like footballs and he had a thing, like a, a top-wear thing of lard. Oh, fuck. It was like, that's man fucking.

That makes straight sex look so gay. Like a manliest shit ever. Man fucking. Ah! I've never heard that. Well think about it. That's like the manliest way to fuck. It makes a dude fucking a girl look like pussy shit.

It's just like fancy. Man fucking. That's an fucking name for the fucking and it's stuff again you fucking cut you stream you fucking cut that's his baili's on everybody's crashing the server because baili's on they just heard Kelly trying to fuck your wife while you left damn

soos you soos you left wait You're the worst ringman ever. You want to switch seats? We're gonna have a cock-buck another cock. Come on. Um, but okay, I want to know this. I really want to know this. I want to know what happened with them. They're pregnant now. They're gonna fuck it.

It's gonna be good. I got her pregnant. Could you get somebody pregnant? No, I can't. Jizz, nothing comes out anymore. We're just funny because people talk about like that. They'll be like, yeah, barely is hot, but it'll probably be grossed out if she came. And it's like, if you only knew, nothing comes out anymore. We're just funny because people talk about like that. They'll be like, yeah, barely is hot, but it'll probably be grossed out if she came.

And it's like, if you only knew, nothing comes out. But that was your thing back in the day. Yeah, you kind of came buckets, but then I was like, all right, I'm getting older. Used to fucking piss, piss mad off because you'd feed up to buy a new lens every time you fucking did a porno. You should fucking bust a wopper nut in it.

Yeah, so I got paranoid. You have the exact amount of gizz comes out in your porno's as I like on my fuck, as I like mayonnaise on my hamburger. The same exact- I used to come so much, I actually miss it. I mean, it's really convenient for when I'm drinking off because there's like no shame, clean up,

I'm just like, whatever, and then I walk away. Do you feel it? Yeah, I come super hard, just nothing comes out. What the fuck is that? Well, it's like drinking off-lineers in your- Before you were- Before you were- Before you were-

Yeah, I did. It's like that. I don't remember that. I do. I've been drinking up everywhere. I used to climb a tree. What? I used to climb a tree.

Why? Because it felt good. I was a rubber. I'd rubbed my animals on top. I was like to climb in the rope and gymclad. You'd feel like all in your groin area. That didn't feel good to me. That hurt. I didn't climb the rope, but there was a tree'd feel like all in your groin area. That didn't feel good to me, that hurt.

I didn't climb the rope, but there was a tree I had. You said, but I could climb and just sit there. You had? I was just there. There's my favorite tree, I was like seven years old. I was like, where is, there's my grandfather's back yard. Most trees probably still alive, we hope. I gotta go find out.

We should call her. Where is it called? My grandfather's back yard. Where else is still in Bayside Queens? We should call it, I mean. That'd be a beautiful little documentary. That's rubbing tree. I'd love to see you climb it and be fucking it. Matt's rubbing tree. It's bigger now. It's a little older.

You guys talk. I'll cry. You look good Matt. You look real good. She's families. Children's book of all time. You're giving tree. Totally. She'll also oversteam. You finally got the giving tree. Totally. Shelf-oversteam. You finally get the courage to climber again. You try to go all the way to the top, but you can't make it. You're going to be in Bailey-Della, but you can do it.

Then you just come, you slide back down. Can I ask you, Bailey, why a part of my ignorance? Why don't you use Jizz anymore? Oh, because I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that.

I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. I'm not a fan of that. and I never got facial hair, I never got any hair, I didn't go from being like, oh my name's Bill, to like being a woman. I just, this was always just how I was as a kid, much to my chagrin because most people have made fun of me. But anyway, so then I got paranoid as I got older,

I'm like, okay, I'm almost 25. Like, what if one day, all of a sudden my testosterone kicks on and I turn into fucking George Costanza? Yeah. I'm overnight and I'm like hideously ugly and I'm ill-patterned baldness, and I'm a monster. So then I started taking estrogen,

and I feel better, but I can't come now. Okay, right. So, it sucks, I wish I could still come, but it's worth the peace of mind of knowing, I'm not gonna just look like some bloke one day. Yeah, but I mean, it can bloke. You don't need to come, so what's the point? You're not gonna say that you're dating.

No, but wouldn't you wanna come coming nice? Whoa. You're gonna see it. I don't want no but wouldn't you want to come coming nice? You're gonna not to clean it up. If I could just orgasm me. My thing was my thing was my my real calling card and porn was I'd flip over and bust on my own face and that was like I mean you get You get the end result of a hot girl getting come on her face with the fact that she's doing it to herself like fuck up. I want to talk about possession having a demon fucking just shut a ghost on your face

you like Bill Murray after porn's been around a long is it blind me? You had active porn directed by M Night Shyamalan? It's porn's been around long enough now though that guys a lot of guys need to jerk off to a fucking chick jerking Your own cock off on her face like all of a sudden a little blonde with tits isn't doing it anymore I get it though There is something about when a guy does come where you feel you've accomplished something right? You need that like end of Yeah, yeah luckily I'm like really loud. So I think that kind of fills the void for people. I look Kelly

What the fuck is going on? Listen, this is a horror fills the void for people. I look, Kelly, what the fuck is going on? What is going on? Why, why? I don't understand though, listen, this is a horror. This is a theme show, all right? I didn't bring my friend down here. To say, now you, you fucking slut whore bag. You got me and fucking sweatpants on, for God's sake. I'm gonna fucking talk about it.

It's like a accomplishment when you get jizz on your shoulder. That's something from a phone book. Kelly, Kelly wants four stripes of jizz on it. Like a four star general. I'm like I'm with one of my girlfriends and we're talking about, you know, it's the ball sense of security before I count you.

Except you can come in your face. Whatever the chicken here, I feel like I'm safe. Like I'm like, oh yeah, you get me, right? I really don't get women. That's a sad part. Women feel so safe around me. And I'm like, why are women fucking insane? Oh, man.

You seem normal, though. You seem normal. Which means you're... Well, to say she's normal, so this thing she's insane, though. But no, to say you're, I'm sorry. You seem normal in the sense that you're probably like crazy 50% of the time, which is the best case scenario for women, I think. Yeah, you have to read my cards, though. Yeah though. Yeah let's do it. Oh yeah I was gonna bring

them. I go to the water. I didn't. I didn't bring them. There's a girl around the corner. She's really good at reading cards. Yeah first of all let's get into this. All right if we're gonna fucking go down this route I need to I'm gonna be honest. Yeah it's about my com or the card. Both listen I want to be honest about your com. No no my com or the car both listen. I want to be honest about you come No, no, it's not what you come. It's about cards. Yeah, I mean can you believe in cards? Not really, but you know there's stuff out there A lot of people is that mean? I don't know. There's no neutral stuff you dance out of You're not really with their stuff out there for everybody

So I believe Oh, you're fucking no, not really. But there's stuff out there for everybody. So I believe you and yourself. What are you fucking Lewis just talking over everybody? Oh, I got someone's gonna do it. There's some validity to it. But I don't think that there's like everything behind it. I don't think necessarily that it calls fate or anything like that. But you know, there's probably something like there's

always weird things in behavioral patterns that work out to creepy, creepy things. So I think in that sense, like if a person starts getting more and more used to the cards and stuff like that, they're probably more accurate at calling stuff at some time because they're just following their intuition. Right. Because it's matching with certain people. But that's what most of it is. That sounds creepy.

Yeah, most of it does rely on the basic intuition as opposed to the actual cards being mystical. It really does require a person calming down and you know how sometimes you can give yourself the best advice in the world and you're like where the hell did that come from? It's kind of this theory that you're pulling thoughts from outside of your mind and so you'll have a stroke of genius or even the word inspiration means to take in spirit. And so it and you're just kind of like, where did that come from? That's a great idea. I believe that thoughts are around us

and sometimes we pull them in. So sometimes when I do card readings, I'm not doing anything magical necessarily. As much as I think I'm tapping into a human instinct of just relaxing, and then I'll ask the person, you know, what's the issue at hand? They'll tell me, I'm not like guessing, I'm not using psychic powers.

They'll tell me what the problem is. They'll go, okay, I'll shuffle, I'll use the cards, and then the cards tell me, I'm not like guessing, I'm not using psychic powers. They'll tell me what the problem is, they'll go, okay, I'll shuffle, I'll use the cards, and then the cards tell me. And usually, more than telling the future or whatever, they affirm what a person already knows. I think that's what makes it really real to the person getting the reading. I'm not telling them something's going to happen to them, and they're like, how do I know that's true?

I'm affirming something they already knew within themselves. So I had to kind of give you a card reading. I've given card reading skeptics a million times. I think I'm full of shit and understandably so. And then I give them a card reading and they're like moved. I mean people have teared up. It's been really moving for a lot of people. You can't think about it from the left brain guy. You have to kind of let it go. Because it's too easy to just refute fucking thing. Yeah. So all my witch powers are making it out. She had a premonition about the cleaning lady's miscarriage. Our cleaning lady's not even coming back now.

I've scared her with my creepy Wednesday Adams routine. I probably fucking dropped on those morning after pills in her coffee. No, okay, so you were going to have a miscarriage. I didn't give her. And a fucking baby dribbles out of her leg one morning. No, okay. She's trying to clean your toilet.

It was terrible. I felt she felt really bad, but I was meditating in my office and the cleaning lady was there. And I kept seeing, this sounds like such bullshit. I promised I'm not crazy, but I saw it. Matt saw it happened. So in my head, I keep seeing this,

this, what do you call it? A sonogram, like a modern sonogram, like a 3D sonogram. I kept seeing it And I was like I have to ask the cleaning lady if she lost a baby And I'm like I'm not gonna ask her that because that'll sound like a fucking retard Just pick up a fucking a dried prune. Does this? I will know what happened was that so then I go up there finally

I'm like compelled like I have to go up to her so I'm finally go Did anyone you know have a baby? I'm trying to like kind of warm up to it. She goes, my cousin and I'm thinking that's not it. You're Mexican. Of course you're cousin. I just had a baby. But then she's had seven.

But then I'm like, oh, it's a sleight of racist. I really want I Mexican, by the way. So anyway, but I really, I really, I That's racist saying, no, it's cool. It's not. It's cool. But I really felt compelled. So before I had a chance to. But I really felt compelled,

so before I had a chance to ask if she miscarried, she goes, well, actually I miscarried a couple days ago. And then I was like, fuck, I knew that. And then I kind of told her, like, by the way, like, don't be freaked out. I was meditating and I kind of saw this thing. And she's like, okay, it's no big deal. I never saw her again.

She never came back. No, but we had two. Why would she miscarried in your toilet? And I was like, did I flush? Or did I flush? I don't think I flushed they must be pissed. I'm not going back there Toilet babies like how to happen once so bad. It's had to happen once what yet toilet babies. I had one Yeah, I had toileto Toilet oh flush thoseetto Flush. That was his name. Before Maximus.

I think that, you know, here's your thing. You wrote a horror movie, right? Yeah, yeah. And you are doing this thing in Pagypsy for Edward, correct? Yes, yeah, well I'm not doing it. Joe Netherworld, a high-ranking member of the church of Satan. He's doing it. I'm just, I'm the face and tits of the operation.

Right. And what are you guys doing? Basically,'m just, I'm the face and tits of the operation. Right. And what are you guys doing? Basically, he is, those you don't know who Edward is, there was Tim Burton movie called Edward, about Edward D. Wood Jr. A. I'm sure you obviously know. A classic sci-fi director, I mean, the worst film of all time, planned nine-for-mutter space,

and a series of others, night of the cool, it's just amazing stuff. I adore him. Why is it amazing though, if it's so awful, is it because you like it because it's just so awful?. It's fun but then there's also this conviction he had that no matter how much it sucked he had just this blind childish ambition towards doing it that it was it's actually kind of inspiring and he's a creepy transvestite was. Yeah, he's a cross-dresser like he had like an engor of fetish. I mean this dude was a little bit of a wack job and he lives in picket or

lived sorry he's dead. He lived in Piquipsi, which is where I live. And I actually, there's photos of me on his childhood steps with the other people. And I'm dressed as Vampyra, who was the original El Vyra, back in the 60s, El Vyra. Her whole routine is paying homage to Vampyra. And so I'm dressed like Vampyra.

I got the low cut dress, my tits will be out. And I'm signing autographs at 730 at the Bartavan Theater. So what day? Edward Workday. Edward October 11th at 730 pm. This Friday. This Friday. And everyone can come up tickets or $10.00.

You can get a ticket master, go to Bartivan.org or edwoodstattu.com or just come and buy a ticket and I'm going to be there signing autographs with my tits on. And it's going to kick off the Kickstarter. And the Kickstarter is going to kick off and they're trying to, oh, I'm sorry. So they're raising money to have a big statue built in his honor across the street from the bar to bond What would you do without Matt? And I know right? Really honestly, you literally gave a whole plug without a day. I know But so they're building a statue and it's honor I would statue you want to suck Bobby's dick and I want to suck Bobby's dick

You will someday yeah, some day. Yeah, I'm gonna get I'm gonna you're gonna suck my dick on my on my six You know, I mean you couldn't help but have me suck your dick before I met that I was just like I ruined it for all you guys No, I know you really are. I know yeah, but I have a I have a I have a like I have a black card like they give black cards I have a ghetto card. I have a you know, they give a certain white guys a ghetto card. Yeah, I have a fucking dick sucking card I come on we have some fucking we do a little barbecue Fucking suck a little dick. I got a jerk mad off while she's blowing me He jerks off into a cup. She puts it in her dick. It comes out of my eye like good old days Jota roast is crying in the corner What's in the corner

so i can't get back to this this so you're doing that which is see that type of hard to me i never really got into you know like lucky i never got into it but i i i get it i don't it's not like i don't get it i get um... you know i don't think it's a much about irony as it is about like things that are earnest.

Like it could be a really sleazy shitty movie, but if the people who made it wanted to make the best movie they could, and like they didn't give a shit about what was going to be in their way, budget, time, whatever, then like you watch that and you're like, holy shit, these people are trying to make a good movie. What do you think about, okay, let's talk about that. what do you think about okay let's talk about that what do you think about the blarewitch project blarewitch project i liked it a lot you know and the thing is like the thing is the filmmaker who made it has gone on to make some really good stuff since like what he made a movie called altered which is

probably one of the best movies about aliens that doesn't take place in space that i've ever seen really yeah it's it's all about like these people who were abducted when there are kids, and they catch the alien that had abducted them all these many years ago by following its patterns. And it's like these backwood red necks. So they bring it back to a garage to try to fucking torture it and whatever and find out why what happened that happened, and it gets out. Wow.

And it's sort of like them in this house, and you don't know where the alien is, and it's fucking creepy and really good. Right. Eduardo Sanchez. Yes, correct. That's so funny. That's what I love about when I talk to you on the phone. You have such a knowledge in this backlog

of these movies that I would have never, ever, ever know about. I would never find. Now I'm going to go watch that movie. Yeah. Okay, what about the paranormal activity movies? Not so much. I think because the thing is the guy who made that has had a movie that's been on the shelf for like years now. It's called Area 51 and sort of like a found footage area 51 movie and apparently it's

like unreleasably bad. So it's just been sitting sort of. But the first one I didn't really like, second one I didn't really like, but I liked the like the third one the third one was made by the guys who made that documentary catfish Yeah, which and like Because I think by that point they'd recognize what they wanted to do and they went back to everything and they sort of started building the mythology And they made a movie that wasn't as like predictable or slow or shitty to watch them backwards. Yeah, I think I think it's go three two one I would say three one two three one two yeah okay yeah you're right yeah and that would be like it would be a better quality to it almost be a if you watch that that way it would be a great one holy shit movie yeah like the lonesome dove of

harm movies am I right yeah but like, so they have these movies, but then they have these movies like a high tension, which is one of my favorite movies of all time. I love that, but I hated the ending. Really? Did you see it coming? No. I thought they were plot-able. Oh, wait, I guess we're going to spoil it every say anything.

Yeah. Alright, hang on, spoiler alert. If you haven't seen a movie that came out in 2004 by now Fuck yourself listen don't listen to this, but there is a twist just put it. There's a twist Yeah, I didn't see you can explain it. I didn't see the twist coming I would say that I didn't see the twist coming. It's that once the twist happened what you just saw made no sense anymore Why? Well because the girl was driving the big evil truck with her kidnapped in the back.

And the guys come on. There's a truck in its heart. And the sports car. She was also driving that. The same blonde girl was driving both of us. And she fucks a severed head in the beginning. What I mean, I mean, he does, but you know, maybe it could be explained because I loved everything else about it. It was like, can you explain it? I was gonna say I can't really explain it it but the one thing I was going to say that kind of bothers me about that movie and particularly and like sort of endings like that where it's like oh this person was secretly this person the entire time is that like when she's out at that store and there's that guy that's like it's like if you're having people reacting the things that don't exist then what the hell is really happening

that's my exact like I have it yeah all these kinds of movies like I used to have an obsession with the six cents where I used to's my exact whole, like having all these kinds of movies. Like I used to have an obsession with the sixth sense where I used to watch it where it's like, okay, if he's a ghost and why are all these fucking people reacting to him and like doing all these things? So it's all about like, if somebody is not who they appear to be, you have to make sure that people aren't reacting to the person

that doesn't exist. Right, it's like they're hoping you watch it one time and have really bad short-term memory. Yeah, like they're just like, don't ever watch this movie again, otherwise it short-term memory. Yeah. Like they're just like, don't ever watch this movie again. Otherwise, it's not gonna make any sense. Like it's just so, yeah. And then obviously I watched high tension twice

and I was like, wait a minute. How is she doing that if she's actually? Yeah, I'm such a sucker. I overkill you. All you shit, though. This is what you have to do with me. Just make it so that I can believe it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Like I can, okay, like, like the movies where somebody gets powers and they fall into a fire and their clothes don't burn off right it's like wait a minute did their clothes don't have powers that did you heard your teacher be out right right she should come out there it's the whole maybe she maybe she's not right exactly maybe she's not burnt

maybe she does she can't catch on fire but that fucking food The loom Sure isn't possessed that doesn't have fucking yeah, and that bugs me when they do that one because now it's like okay I'm stupid. I'm stupid enough to for you movie But I'm not that fucking dumb. I can't suspend reality that much, right? You know what I mean? But a movie like High Tension, I didn't even think, I didn't put all that shit together.

I watched it and was like, the first scene in that is like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Like what is this? Is that with a big dresser crush or something? Oh God, it was crazy. And then when the girl, which I love that she was kind of guy hot,

she was sexy. Yeah, they really picked the right. That's the kind of girls I like, like girls at bisage, just like guys. con bolotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, en tus rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¡Ah, Chale! Chale, ¿qué está haciendo? ¿Qué se hace? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces?

Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Chale, ¿qué haces? Kelly needs it. Kelly wants to show you that you can still come That was the suck your gizz out my Matt Everest talking do it It was gonna jerk it the last gizz I wish I could fuck I really do I tried it's terrible But you're a bad kid. You just like I just have no guy instincts. I'm just kind of like I just have no guy instincts. I'm just kind of like

Speels awkward. I feel like a trick pony or something. You're like you're like a middle-aged woman that got divorced It tried putting on a strap on for the first time. I'm like I'm like awkward I'm like awkward. I just cuz I have a fucking dick. I'm just like what have a fucking dick. It's just like so awkward She I just want to I mean, I'm such a girl mentally. I'm just like I just want to be fucking Bang the fuck I'm a set of rape and I realize it's kind of like I was gonna say Women want to get rape no I want to get right Yeah, you just fucking get a nice dull butter knife and hide in the garage mask Put a nice Zorro mask on and rape this fucking dude We're pretty rapy. He's good.

I used to do that with a girl. Miss Crowley. You guys come up in the hamster. She was the most deviant human being I've ever met in my life. Was she molested? That's usually what happened. I hope so. If she wasn't then she's fucking the same.

She is the church of Satan. Yeah, I remember she had this knife. That was dull. She had her own knife. She had her own brave knife. I prepared. And I remember I would go outside, like I was into it, like I'm into role playing.

I used to get this knife and it was dull as fuck. Like I can, you couldn't slice anything, but you couldn't slice a fucking apple with this thing. And I used to walk around outside and kind of look through the windows and try to break in I find my my way in like you know I'd sneak downstairs and I'd see her and she'd be sleep like one tip would be out and like just a little bit of her pussy Come on out of a blanket and I'd fucking just start jerking off. And I'd, I feel like I have allies, watch her. And I'd, oh my God, where you drunk?

And then, no, I was, I was fucking totally sober. That was my drug of choice, was this fucking sex. And I would sneak over and she'd hear something and I'd hide and she'd walk by me. And we would, I mean, there, we were talking like a fucking hour or something of this. And then I would fucking, she'd see me and I'd grab her and throw her on the bed. I'd fight, and she'd fight, listen, she would fight me where she would slap me or scratch me like really.

And I got fucking mad. And I'd be like fucking, and I'd put that knife up to her. And then she'd let me never fuck her. But I'd fucking fucking just I would We never thought I'll be back. I was just either pussy out I'd tie her up and make her suck me off. I did all this other weird shit Why wouldn't you fuck her? I just we now I don't we miss it was probably It was probably a year I remember we'd be done and she'd break character and she was just,

she'd call me like a bitch. Like, oh, you, she make you bitch. Why don't you let me slap you? And it's like, I'd be like, I don't know, I mean, you know what, I'm just a regular guy. I'm just trying to do my job. Not a rapeist, I promise. Yeah, I really don't want to rape anybody. I just, what? Aren't you nervous? I petrified it. His girl's fucking, you get me in the room in jail. You're a dad come time. You have marks on you.

Exactly. Clear side. You're trying to rape her. No. I wasn't nervous. Me and her, there's people that you just connect with sexually. And when you meet that person, there's nothing, you don't worry. You don't think about anything.

Like me and K Kelly kind of yeah Yeah, she's we should drive around she just suck my dick like we'd find like like a parking lot full of people like in a bar And she just blow she'd get out. I want a sucky dick right in her front of these people And I just get out of the car and she just starts sucking me off to when people would go like what the fuck Holy shit, and she just be sucking me, she'd be looking at me, and then we'd get in the car and run. It was like this weird. Is this back in Boston?

This is back in Boston. This sounds very Boston. And it was like a fucking dough, and he's getting blow job right now. She was a fucking freak of nature, but totally, but she was too much. What you doing now? Huh, I don't know. She was just a freak, man. And we just hit it off, but she was too much what you doing now, huh? I don't know but she was she was just a freak man, and we

We just hit it off, but she was too much for me like I I'm that guy But I'm not that guy your female counterpart well, she was that person all the time I was that guy for an hour and a half right and then I wanted to go get ice cream and watch gullies I just wanted to be Bob. I wanted to go get ice cream and watch Gullinies. I mean, I just wanted to be Bob. I wanted to maybe hug or something, and she was like, do it again, you know, fucking throw a bookshelf on my toe. That happened? She scratched me one night.

She's like, I want cookies. I want cookies, and I was like, I'll get you fucking cookies, relax. And we went to the store and she goes, I want cookies, now she scratched me. I was like, are you fucking nuts? I'm getting your cookies, you fucking idiot. And I was like, look, I got a go, like that weird shit. Like she would take this aggression way, way too far. Did you have a dad?

I don't remember it. No way. Every time I'm like, she doesn't have a dad and if she does, he's fucking her. The fact that we're all fucking talking and you're dressed in a jumpsuit, and they're so happy, it's amazing. You're fucking hot enough right now.

Okay, so real quick, I wanna do, we're gonna do a little break, a piss break, and we'll be back. We're gonna wrap up the rest of the show. You guys who are watching on on you stream, thank you for hanging in there. I'm sorry that it sucks. There's nothing I can do about it.

I've done everything that I can possibly do. We can, you know, I don't know. I'm gonna keep working on it so that you guys can get this. We might just not do it live. We might do it, actually just record it and put it up. So I don't fucking know. But thanks for hanging in there We're gonna work it out. We'll be back in just seconds two and two

I don't know what that means Two and two is that four minutes? Two minutes and two seconds. Okay, we'll be back in two minutes and two seconds. So hang in there. Look it up Oh, I'm gonna be crazy swamp. All right check it out. This is Robert Kelly and You guys Hang on one second. Hey dude, can you push that mic away for a second? I'm sorry buddy. No, it's all right That's funny. You push your mic in front of him So anyways

All right check it out guys, please go to tweaked audio dot com They're one of our greatest sponsors that have been supporting us. And we love that you guys support them by going there twiek.io.com, picking out one of your favorite pairs of headphones. They're inexpensive, fantastic headphones. The earbuds, many different colors and sizes might not,

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Gamefly.com slash YKWD and you get two free weeks, right? I believe it's two free weeks free 15 days, from us to you because you listen to the show. So, and you can cancel anytime. So go make sure you check that out. What else, Kelly? That's all we got. That's all we got.

And I want to thank all the people who have donated to the show. You guys are fantastic. You continuously donate every month. Thank you so much. It means a lot to us. Make sure you go to our websites and Twitter and follow us. Follow the YKWD podcast on Twitter. Follow all the people on your Kelly, Chris Scopa, Dan, our guest tonight, Bailey and Ken and Matt, but make sure that you go to our Facebook and like the page. We have a YKW podcast, Facebook page, and get that right on the Ryakast page.

And go to my website, robberkellylive.com for all my dates. This weekend, I'm gonna be at Mugubis. Mugubis in Maryland, on Friday and Saturday night, the week after that, I'm at to be at Mugube's in Maryland. I'm Friday and Saturday night. The week after that I'm at the Atlanta improv. So spread the word, tell your friends, get your tickets, how the show is free, but how you can support us really, especially me, go to my live shows, get some tickets, get some friends and show up. There's nothing better than doing a show in front of fans that really get your comedy.

So make sure you go to my website, look at my dates, find it when I'm coming near you, get some tickets, bring some friends, spread the fucking word about my shows, and about this podcast. Tell everybody, like it, and retweet it, and subscribe to it and review it on iTunes. You guys are the best,

and we are back to the show in just two seconds I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys.

I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. I'm talking to you guys. Goddamn music like that. What's up fucking fucks? Fucking you. I'm talking to the people. The people man. All right, check it out man. I want to get back a little all over the place because there's this this topic of horror of ghosts of demons of You know and of fucking gorgeous fucking Gmail cocks. I really, you know, you've become my friends, you too.

You know what I mean? You guys are, you know, my wife loves you guys. Yeah, we love you and your wife. And I'm so happy that. I think my mic's not, it's not? No, I'm just kidding. Am I in a quieter or something? Or I can't, that's good, yeah. Yeah, I'm good happy that I think I might not always not no, I'm sure I'm quite or something. I can't that's okay Yeah, I'm good. Okay. Sorry. Sorry about that

But you know it's yeah, it's so funny that the it always it does always go to fucking dicks and sucking It's just I think it's just in us I think it's just in us. Takes her in us. Yeah, like. This. Is the name of the show? Are you writing all these down? OK, listen, the here's the thing.

It's just what it just got. Like, I literally was like, this is going to be so great. I'm going to have Matt and Bailey on and Ken and Kelly's coming down and we go, fuck it. Iceman is here. You know what I mean? And did you take it off? I had to, I had a pee, I had a pee,

so I had to tap it. So, but it always does. You had to take these ones the off. It goes to, it goes to, here's the thing to, I blame you because. You blame me. Yeah, if you didn't have a fucking, you know, a perfect cock, then you weren't so pretty.

You sound like one of those pedophiles, like if kids weren't so pretty. You sound like one of those petabytes. Like if kids weren't so smooth, while they're being carried away, I do, I just love them, I just love them. If kids weren't so sexy. Look at them. Goddamn kids being cute and everything. He smells like, he smells like lellibops.

All right, so anyways, but anyways, here, I want to talk about this that kind of go away. And as the host, that's my job to kind of corral, herring us back to where I think it would be interesting and haunted houses. I really think that that I, I, it's, it's, I get it. I get it. You know what I mean? I get that they, you know, they, there's people around the corner I get it, you know what I mean? I get that they, you know, there's people around the corner

and you know what sucks about haunted houses? There's too many people going to them. There's a line out the fucking door. How can you be scared when you, you four feet in front of you, you saw what the fuck the people just scared, the other people. Oh, so now you mean like a haunted house attraction, not like a necessarily- Not like the one in Amityville. Right, right. The mean like a haunted house attraction, not like a necessarily. Not like the one in Amityville.

Right, right. The Amityville Horror House, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a regular thing. I'm just clarifying. Yeah, please clarify. Sorry. Absolutely right.

I'm talking about an attraction. Okay, okay. Yeah. And I think you said that you might, you know of a good one. Oh, I know a very good one. It's called Blackout in New York and it actually solves that problem. Is that when you go up to Harlem after fucking 12?

Ah. You don't return. It's a haunted house, but at the same time, you have a role of money and a lighter. It's a psychological heart of ours. Okay. Where is it? I think it's in Midtown. What? Yeah. It's in a place where it's not even advertised. You have to knock on the door like three times. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's how cool it is. I thought you could find out how to get there from their website.

What's the cool again? Black out New York. And then we're setting us up to get robbed. The thing is, sort of, they have a waiting room. They give you a number. You got to sign something that says they're allowed to touch you. And they give you a safe word. So that if any time you can't deal with it, you're out. What if your safe word is rape me? Do you look at a room and as people would be like, they'd just get masks on.

They're like, they're red-pulled. They're amazing. They're amazing. It starts off by, the entrance area is just covered in sort of like mist and stuff. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. no idea how long the darkness is, you have no idea like how big the room is, if you're gonna be walking into a wall or something, and then just like,

from there, it's just as many sort of little psychologically fucked up set pieces that they can do. Like sort of like somebody will like put you in a chair and like they'll just say, they'll start like taking off your shoes and they'll start like fucking turning out a TV that's got like rate and killing and murder on there and like people will come and they'll put a bag on your head

And they'll fucking start touching you and shit. It's crazy. I don't know what a bag on your head They'll put a bag on your head. They'll put a plastic bag on your head. That's fun. That's scary What if you're a huge dude and you just punch the shit out of them? Well, then you get kicked out So you can't it's on 11th half It's on 11th average 22nd. It's on 11th, 12th, 22nd. 11th, 22nd is scary. That's the scariest thing I've ever heard. I would never go to that side. I went to one over on in that area too. A lot of them are over there because that's where

the fashion district was and the warehouses are all over their empty. Oh, okay. I went to one and it was fucking garbage. I mean, look, I'm a fucking pussy. You can scare me with a fake spider for Christ's sakes. But, you know, and I got scared, but it's not that hard to scare me, but you're going through with so many people and it's happening so fast.

You know, it's like, it just, it doesn't get me. I mean, that sounds when it doesn't sound like they're into making money as much as they are in just scaring the shit out of somebody. And they only let you go in one at a time. I think they only let that fucking creep right there a time. I think they only let us. See, that's fucking creep all right there. Yeah, I couldn't fuck with that. I don't even like the shitty ones at like Bush Gardens or whatever, like you know what I mean?

Yeah, could you imagine going into a haunted house by yourself? No. That's genius. Yeah. If that's real, is that real? Yeah, it's real. Oh, it's real.

Are you just like you did it? Yeah. Oh my gosh, you Are you just like you did it? Yeah. Oh my gosh, you're great. How scary was it? It was really scary, but at a certain point, if you can keep yourself grounded, it's easier to get through. I'm just kidding.

I'm just like horrifying. It's still really horrifying. And the thing is, it's not as much as stuff that jumping out as you, as much, there is stuff like that, but it's more so letting thoughts stay in your head and fuck with you. at a certain point there was one time where like you turn the corner from like this blackness and there's just this room and it's like it's almost dark but it's like not completely dark and there's just somebody in the corner and somebody like gives

you like a pair of pliers and then the person just starts weeping like why did you do this to me? Why did you do this to me like over and over and like the only way to get out is to walk past them and like is that kind of stuff? Yeah, that's fucking creepy That's creepy I don't do it. I'd have like a nervous breakdown. Oh my god. Oh my god You want to go? Let's do it. No, I don't want to go. Okay. I'll take Lewis. We'll go. I'll definitely listen Here's a deal. I'll definitely go to any haunted house you put me through. I will fucking do it all. They have one in the Pennsylvania East,

Pennsylvania fucking old prison that's supposed to be, places supposed to be really haunted and they do a haunted house in there every year, which is creepy. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that sounds good. I remember in winter at mass, they had these cat, what? That was noise. That remember in winter at mass. They had these cat what

That's a that's New York City Sorry fucking wood boy Spooky organ I heard a spooky it's my cell phone. It's my cell phone Good job See ghost the spirit Got like spooky ringtone You have a way of it. You've got to get her fucking pocket book is the best a little hurt That's great. I love it. It's great. You think about it as a baby coffin

Or a miscarriage one That's what your housekeeper left Handbag she was like that fucking bitch. She's rubbing it in. What are you looking for, your phone? I know what I did with that. Whatever. Okay, sorry, everybody. Yeah, I think that I would definitely go to any one to know

what there is, but I am a fucking pussy. I scream, I yell, I get fucked up. But if they touch you, I don't even know why that was so bad. If they touch you, I don't think that's great. They touch you in ways you don't want to be touched. Like what? Analy. They don't rape you, but they will violate you with their hands. Like how? Grab my Kong? Yeah. So what? After enough. Yeah, why would that bother you?

I want to bother some people. I mean, would that bother you? I think it would be scarier if it just... I don't mind my cock being rubbed as much as somebody rubbing their cock on me We would do like and stuff that they rub here. They rub your cock. I would hope so wait a minute They rub their cocks in your face. I've heard that they do that sometimes at other years I don't know it's like sort of like a guy in a git mask will come in though. Well fucking I just walk out like a the screen mask I I

Don't normally have a hole cut out in the mouth Where is my But I hear it but I don't know where it is In the couch Maybe I'll be pointing at it Oh it's coming really well Yeah it did come in really good Do you got it did come in really good. Do you got it? No, I have no idea where it is. I'm sorry. Um, we broadcasting still. Yep. Okay. So, um to wait in line for fucking 10 days? I don't know. I just know there's a really long road that goes up to it and it's famous. Really? What's the famous

four? It's just really just popular. I don't know. I just you see advertisements for it all over the place. Yeah. I wish I find out what it's called. I wish I wish that they would make a fucking haunted house that was just like fuck you. No animatronics, no bullshit real people like that having to walk by Somebody crying in the corner going why did you do this to me and the doors next to them is nerve-wracking Yeah nerve-wracking and when you walk by them if they don't do anything it's even worse You know, I mean you expect them to go and grab you if they don't this is the one in LA They had like a girl doing something and you had to do something. You had to walk by her and it was fucking like I don't,

the only way through is by her. And when you walked by her, they had like a twin girl. She was there again. That and I was like, oh shit. Like there's no way. Even if they had like some super fast fucking mechanism that just shot her. It was just a girl that looked like her with the same wig and the same, and you're like, she came out, hello. And you're like, oh, and I ran, I left my wife.

And that's when she touched on. So she touched her and don't like, you don't fucking touch. You can Dawn went, you don't fucking touch. You can scare, but you don't fucking touch me. You know what, she started, and I just all hear, it's just Dawn going, you know, fucking touch. There's rules, you don't fucking touch me.

Can't the, she goes, get the fuck back. Does the girl kept coming? Like, she didn't care. Like, she kept scaring the shit out of Dawn. Strike the fourth wall. Dawn, yeah. Well, Dawn's from Everett. She's from Boston.

You don't fucking dodge it. Fuck you, Patrick. All right, I fucking kill you. Fuck you, fucking kill you. Oh, so fucking funny. I was a little like, Dawn, come on. Had a little fucking baby girl chasing me. Have you seen my mother?

We fuck you yelling the fucking twin bitch. Anyways, I think that, I think that, it sucks and I talk to you about this interview with technology, with when you can make shit better, it ruins it. It fucking ruins everything, it ruins movies. When they can, when they do, there's nothing better than seeing a guy

fall off a building Right, I know he's he's landing in a pad. I know that he's not dead But there's nothing better than seeing the guy fall off the fucking building It doesn't take you out of it. I don't need to see him Falling off the building and then go down with him Because now it's fake because I know that can happen. I totally feel you You know what I mean? I feel that I just like how alien the feeling of alien just of like it's fake, because I know that can't happen. I totally feel you. You know what I mean? I feel that way. It just like how alien, the feeling of alien,

just of like, it's a real, I mean, obviously not a real alien, but it's like, it's a physical thing there is so much, like so fucking scary as opposed to seeing some like cartoon character fly across like the thing. It's just like, that's so gay. I have no interest in this. They put a guy in a suit and they had,

you know, and it was just water coming off the teeth. I mean, just so real, everything got to- Like the deer we just watched the ring too and they had the CGI deer. A bunch of all the fucking L, like 97 cartoon L. It looked like the Coca-Cola polar bear. Like it was the unscariest shit I've ever seen in my life. Like when it blinks, it literally looked like the polar bear

from the Coca-Cola commercials from like 1997. Why would they fucking do that? Because they're stupid and they probably didn't want to hurt animals or something. Yeah, I mean, they can't get 97 deers. Right. The car by themselves, it can be a guy in a deer costume with a bat. Write it out. Write it out.

Yeah, fucking figure it out. He can't do it. He just don't do it. Right, right, right. But you get one. Pick your battles. Right. It's scary if you think it's just one that's like out to get you.

Yeah, a fucking crazy deer. Yeah, I had this thought and I always think of this shit. I thought I was on the subway and I saw this massive rat. And then that night my block, there's a building halfway down my block that is rat infested. And all night long You'll hear And it's girls drunk bitches just getting scared by rats These fucking drunk white bitches are like yeah, so anyways And we laugh me my wife laugh

That's one thing we're gonna miss about New York. It's just hearing these dumb drunk bitches on saturday night Anyways, where's the car? Ah! Do you have my shoes on you? Yeah! And, um, they, they, uh, these rats are massive. Just fucking like cats. They're huge. And they're fearless.

They're fucking fearless. And that, and I had this whole idea for this horror movie where, you they're just ripping these buildings down and they're just fucking with these rats. They're just you know just displacing thousands of these rats and they look at there's holes you know the trees in New York City they have that little patch of dirt around them. If you look there's holes in them and then I saw them pour cement in the holes and they dug through it. Oh shit. The holes just there again. Get them a week. It's fucking there again. They dig through anything. And I was singing that that like almost like Orca, member Orca, the movie Orca. Yeah, the well. Or yeah, Orca, the killer whale,

Bo Derek, who's the leg. Yeah, she yeah, she yeah, the well. Oh, yeah, or could they kill her well? Both Derek who's the leg, but I don't know. Yeah, she, yeah, she, yeah, exactly, right? And she fucking better leg off. Very scary movie by the way. Yeah, yeah. The end was crazy. That's just fucking horrifying to be on an iceberg and having a fucking Orca whale just tip it over and you have slide, oh, oh, mother fuck me.

Cause they really do that shit too. They really do that You ever see that footage of the the seal You know what I'm sorry there's a there's a pod of orca whales teaching younger orca whales how to Kill and they kill and in pods like a team and there's this this This seal this little seal on this iceberg and he's chilling and they can't get him off It's a huge iceberg. So what they do is they They all line up in a row and they fucking just fly and they cause a wave that goes over the iceberg and washes the seal into the water

Wow, and then they fucking throw them back on the iceberg and do it again That's great. They don't kill them. They're like fucking get back on the iceberg and do it again. They don't kill him. They're like, fuck it, get back on there. We gotta rehearse one more time before each of you. Fucking crazy as footage ever. And I'm thinking like in Orca, the, you know, he saw, she saw the baby get killed. And that's why she lost her mind.

I was thinking that'd be a fucking great rat thing. Like if these rats saw, you know, other rats being fucking murdered by us so we can put a high rise in if they just took over the New York city and just started attacking people. That would be amazing. That would be the fucking creepiest.

Imagine walking on the street in New York after dinner with your chick and all of a sudden, you see a rat. You see a rat and it's fucking massive. Like I'm not talking, like I'm talking these rats in this movie would be cat rats like little dog rats like fucking two feet and like the biggest one would be the mother fucker of the rats. You always gonna have the big yeah you're gonna have the big rat right and imagine if that you just all

of a sudden you're surrounded by rats and They just were fucking flying after you And they're fighting you Imagine that that be a fucking scary movie. Yeah, I'll be pretty good It was done in like the 80s. They'd have like small dogs dresses rats That's the thing is you could use real rats. They use real rats in the fucking Indiana Jones movie. Right, right, right. Remember that when they were going through?

And there was nothing better. She really screamed because a rat jumped on her. Yeah. Fucking ahead. There's no movie called Ratack. Oh, yeah, you have to make that happen. There's no movie called rat tack oh yeah you have to make that happen there's no movie no movie called rat tack Riddick is the closest thing rat tack rat tack rattac rattac rittac rittac rittac rittac rittac

yeah what? we'd have to call it we need a better name that we need a better name it would have to be the name of the rat see the rat would originally have to be domesticated. Splinter. And let out. And then he would he would actually become a furl. Is that what he's how you say it? Farrell. Farrell. Farrell. Farrell. Where they're having the pigs for furl. Yeah. I think DJ. Someone's got to be in it. Who? DJ calls. Is that the fucking guy you said? You know he's available. Is that the guy in the car that raised his legit? He's in legit. He's super weird looking nice though.

That goonie kid from road trip. I was thought he was kind of like he was okay. Yeah, because you're a nerd lover. Yeah. I like giving people blowjumps who look like they really need blowjumps. We'll start sucking in this room. Yeah, just like tell me.

You know what I mean? You know how to clock? I know go really appreciated. You're like why are you blowing me? Counterclockwise in this room. Okay, everybody, Ken has, I desperately need it. I'm gonna die without head failure. I just, I just mean it's a lot more attractive

than someone who looks like, just, you know, like it's very easy for them to get their dick sucked. It's like, you know, you're gonna rock them up. That's the thing, yeah. So it's, some guy looks like he's constantly giving his dick suck, it's like them to get their dick sucked. It's like, you know, you know, you're gonna rock them up. That's the thing. Yeah. So it's got some guy that looks like he gets consign and gets dick sucked. It's like, go get your dick sucked. Then I'll just go suck some guy who's gonna appreciate it.

Fuck. He doesn't have a break. Ken doesn't have a person. No, it comes down to myself. Oh, no, I'm hearing it. I'm just consuming it. I just, what's my name? Ken's hoping this actually happens.

I don't know how we're getting from rat tact to blow jobs. That's what we doing, I'll show. That's what we're doing. I don't know how the fucking the from rat-tack to blow jobs. That's what we're doing, I'll show. That's what we're doing. I don't know how the fucking the web is slowly covering your heart on. I think I didn't put web on there, Bobby. Oh, that's just, it's just, it's just, it's spider-jews. Yeah, maybe, you wrote a, you wrote a horror movie. I did? How many? I wrote, I was writing another one, but I stopped.

I have one completed then. What is it about? It's called Live Nudes and Dead Dudes. It's basically a grind house slash reflect about a child murderous based off of Rhoda Penmark from the bad seed. She's like this little blonde girl. Basically, she murders her parents. She is put in a rehabilitation center and then released on our eighteen birthday and

she is huge tits now and uh... that you know i am was gonna be the main character right but then uh... so so anyway so she works a strip club blah blah blah blah blah and little things start happening that make her like remember we're killing her parents and she'll randomly start that was a were like a psycho button which is kind of a trope in a movie but like certain things will make her crazy and she'll randomly start what's the word like a psycho button which is kind of a trope in a movie but like certain things will make her crazy then she'll kill somebody. Right.

So and I'm really pleased with it. There was a guy who actually agreed to make the movie but then like Chuck Harding. Yeah, Chuck Harding was going to make it. I think he had some stuff that he gave to Mystery Science Theatre and he had written some other stuff and worked on some movie with Anna Nicole Smith. And what happened? So it ended up not panning out. He's a really good friend of mine.

So, it might still happen in the future, but he's just been so busy with his real job as opposed to making crappy B-movies. How did you get involved in what you do? How do you, I mean, did you ever write a horror movie? Do you have, I have, I've actually, I've written a few movies. I've written a comedy, I've written a horror, and then I've written sort of like an anthology movie.

And right now, I just wrote sort of like this sort of light-hearted horror movie that we're looking to make soon. We're gonna see. It's called stupor and it's sort of like a end of the world movie but told through the first person's perspective of like a drunk walking out of a bar. Really? Yeah. So we rigged up like a steady cam and stuff so it's going to like just sort of sway like a boat and sort of like Right, but the cool thing is like then you can have like everything just sort of like come naturally and people aren't gonna Believe it drunk. We're just walking around seeing the world is ending and then shit goes down really yeah So we're gonna we're gonna see we're right now. We're looking for funding and we're we're I've got a director and stuff lined up So right and in this magazine how are you how did you get involved with this? I'm you are you owner? Do you just write for it? I'm the

sort of like the web editor which means I write like a lot of the site content I edit everything that comes through the site more or less. Right. Sort of what happened was about a year ago I was approached by somebody I met during college who had interned for Fangoria magazine and he was like, hey, would you like to do some interning for Fangoria? And I'm like, yeah, sure, why not? You know, I thought it'd be a great way to make contacts

and meet people and, you know, write about what I liked. And then like six months later, like I get offered a web edit for this magazine. I'm like, yeah, sure, you know, I could use the extra money on the side. And then from there, like it's just gotten like, I just had a lot of ambition. I really had it, got as many interviews as I can. Yeah.

And it's cool. It's a fun job to do what you got to do. You know, I still have like a day job and I still have like other stuff that I do. Right. So we're going to see, but like right now some really interesting things have come along. So we're going to see. Well, I think that I think the hook up to, which I love making is when I think you and Bailey, you guys both have a lot in common. And Matt too, you guys all do stuff and you all love horror and you're right stuff.

And you know, you should, um, should definitely interview her too for your magazine. Whenever you want, definitely. I actually, I hosted, you remember, I was gonna have you on there, but I don't think you could make it. I hosted horror movies for, I tried my hand at hosting horror movies for a minute there Yeah, what was that for just for myself? I mean just cuz I had this time to do it and so it was she mail his film fiasco Yeah, where is that on go to vimio.com slash film fiasco and Basically, it's just like a huge joke on the fact that I'm completely ripping the a viral off

It's funny because she you know, there was a whole lawsuit between her and Vampira. So it was kind of like that. So it's a horrible two hour movie. You have to sit through in order to see my bits, not literally see my bits. But just to see. Is that what you call them? Your English when you talk about your cock, my bits.

Gross. Your tits are pretty much out the whole time. Yeah, well, that's I'm wearing the dress. And from El Vira. Yeah, so it's like, it's literally just like my tits. It's the same dress I'm wearing at this thing. Right, are you gonna be able to wear that in public? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's not illegal, my nipples aren't showing. Just most of my- Look at Matt, he's like he is. Just most of the meat is showing. We've been ready for two years and give a shit. I'm kidding. Dr. Matt, we get a duck. Isn't it funny?

It's like a shit. What are you doing? Nothing. I wanna keep it that way. Let's do it. That's funny. Yeah, you guys should definitely hook up. Cause you guys definitely, you guys like horror movies.

I love horror, but I'm the fan. I'm the pussy. I'm the guy that screams in the movie. I have to put my hands on my ears. I'm the guy they want to go see the fucking movie. Yeah, I get mad I'm like fuck you. I get oh god, you know, it just sucks me and Dean were on the Torbus last week and we watched So we're on this tour bus 800 miles. We do a show. We jump on the bus. We drive from Houston to fucking

Atlanta to fucking hall. So it's just me and him on this luxury tour bus and we watch World War Z, this fucking zombie movie. And then, you know, then we, you know, it's four o'clock in the morning, I have this fucking, he starts to be tenning, he's a zombie. Oh no. And I'm getting scared, I'm fucking like flipping out,

and I'm throwing punches, like I'm fucking swinging. And then I get this flashlight with a strobe on it and I'm like there's four there's four bunks with curtains almost like Coffins you understand yeah, and then it is a room in the back And then there's this hallway with these bunks and like I'm trying to be in my bunk And he kept coming by running by the bunks and turning the lights on it. I'm like, dude, cut the fucking shit. And then he, like, run into the bunks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god.

And I'm in this coffin with like a curtain. So I grabbed this flashlight stick and it has a strobe and you can't see when you, and I start swinging. I hit him in the ankle. He's like, dude, and he fucking run through this room. And then I wait, like I know he's coming back out. I waited 25 minutes, like in another bunk of the top bunk, because I knew he was gonna come out and be in the bottom bunk.

I'm sitting there with the flashlight ready to go to flash and strobe in his eyes and then start swinging at his head, because I'm so scared. And sure enough, 25 minutes later, the door door slides open and these doors open with no sound They just slide open like Star Trek is no sound at all and I see it and he's just standing there And I've did like a fucking zombie and I'm fucking freaking and I and I just fucking strobe on me He's like any screams like I'm a pussy like I throw a punch the other night and almost like knock them out. You know what I'm saying?

I'm not the guy you wanna be around when you scare me. But it's, I think that, you guys are these, you guys are kind of fanatics with, you guys like the actual filming of it and the what the passion was behind the people that are doing it. Right, right. I give a fuck about that?

I mean, I definitely, I definitely lean more towards like, schlocky campy stuff because I go to have a good time not necessarily to be scared. Yeah. So actually when Matt and I saw, what do we see? The conjuring. We're sort of a drive in drive through, drive in,

the drive in, you know, bum fuck where we live, where there's just nothing but woods around you. Yeah. It's black. That's kind of scary. It was fucking scary. I was terrified. My eyes were closed during like 50% of the movie, and I like horror movies, and I'm just like, why is this happening? She kept turning the volume down in the middle.

I know, I got pretty crazy because you turned it down, and I'm like, nope. And then I would turn it down, and we would hear all the girls in other cars screaming. Yeah, that's pretty cool. So, is there anything better than being fucking petrified? Is there anything, it's almost like spicy stuff. To bring us back to blue, it was really, it just happened naturally. What about a scary blow job that's all I'm saying?

Is there any, it's like spicy food. It's like, ah, that's fucking hot, but I gotta have another one. Being scared is, there's something about it. It's like fuck you know And and and I mean look man. I fucking love horror movies. I love them I just I just hope that they there's a thing that they're in right now I hope I just I hope they could I hope the next actresses comes. I can't believe they haven't made a good

Exorcist movie again. They've tried for fuck sake. I mean, I don't know if they've tried. I guess it just means they've had 9,000 come out and they've all been in the same movie. They keep fucking off. I think that, like, I think nowadays, you can't really make a really good scary exorcist movie that doesn't rip off the exorcist movie. There's one coming out in a couple of weeks

that's just getting dumped in a couple of theaters, but it's not a really great angle on it where it looks at it comically. It's called The Hellbenders and the whole movie is sort of like this gang of like people that the church hires to be exorcists right and they just sin as much as possible before they do the exorcism so that if like the demon possessions them and they heard about themselves they just like their soul is like goes to hell with the demon. So it's this comic take on it and I think

that's a really brilliant way to sort of like go after that as opposed to like something like the devil inside where it's just complete garbage. It's like we're doing exactly what we can do from the exorcist, but we're showing it from a webcam. Right, right. One of the best bits about the exorcist is just before the bullshit happens when things are lured that they're going down. Like when she just walks in, she just pisses herself on the carpet. And you're like, oh my god, get out of here! And then, you know, like, oh, you know, just check the attic,

there's some rats in the attic. And you're like, I know the devil! What's the one with Anthony Hopkins? Silence of the lambs. No, no, no, no. He's a priest. The right. I never saw it, but I heard it was shot on film, so I kind of want to see it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they build up this big thing. And they're kind of like, yeah, like, there's only certain movies that have really pulled it off till the end when you're walking out,

like my life is not the same anymore because I believe I have different beliefs. Blair, which I thought was real. I thought it was real. I did too. It's so, I mean, it really does hold up. I just watched it the other day and I was like, this is gonna probably break my heart

because it's gonna suck now because I'm not a child. I think last time I was a child was a child and then but it was amazing and it was terrifying because they're so genuinely afraid and so they have a big foot movie coming out yes same thing oh we is it the one that Bob cat goal weight me there's actually a few big foot movies coming out actually there's a few big foot and a few Frankenstein movies coming out. I'm scared for whatever reason. But they're out of ideas. Yeah, pretty much. But the Blair Witch guy is doing another one.

And so is Bobcat. Bobcat's making his first serious kind of scary movie. Whereas the Blair Witch guy, there's not a lot of stuff out there, but it's supposedly really good. He did one of the bits in the new VHS movie, which was just a home run every time. Well, his was sort of like Aizambi movie, but if a biker with one of those GoPro's on his helmet

got attacked. So you're seeing it all from their perspective. And it's like, he shows that he's still got it. I love it. I love it. Look, man, we're in Vine Days, you're six second video. It's gotta be, you know, we gotta take that into account

where the average asshole has a video camera on him. It's not out of the realm, so these movies make sense now, the GoPro, or, you know, to capture this shit make sense, you know, I wish I had fucking a billion dollars. I would just make horror movies. I would make really fucking great horror movies. I believe I have it in me. Yeah. None of you guys, okay. Nobody believes me. What's up, buddy?

I was just gonna say you just need like five million bucks. If you can make five, like most horror movies that are made now, they're really successful or make for like less than 10 million bucks. Well, you're going to say that a serial killer making vines of his actual killing. We've been talking about this. Why has anyone done this if the world such a evil place? Well, you just put it out there for somebody. So this is like, you know, he keeps changing the accounts so he doesn't get caught. But you know, this guy's going to post a vine of someone actually dying. Like the other week or whatever. I feel like 12 year olds of this generation could just watch that and like,

now I wouldn't care. I'm sure we year olds of this generation could just watch that and like, nah, they wouldn't care. They wouldn't plan. Maybe a fan of his and stuff. Doesn't that sec? Let's follow him on Twitter. It's kind of cool. He's kind of hot.

How about at the end, he blows his victims. Nah. Rings his back. Two suckers big. All right, man, let's wrap this sucker up. I gotta get you guys back up to a fucking way the fuck up there. Yeah, Pigeepsie. And I gotta go see my kid. I gotta get you guys back up to a fucking way of the fuck up there. Pigeepsie.

And I gotta go see my kid. I saw my kid for four minutes today. It was sleeping, I couldn't even pick him up. And he woke up like 10 minutes after he left. Ah! I don't know if I got, I get teary when I think about it. Cause it's like I know he's upright and I know he's waiting.

Oh, it's fucking crazy. I mean cry today when I left. Lojobs? Lojobs? Lojobs? Does it? But no. No, no, that cry today when I'm having one last time. What's that? Blowjob? Does it? But now? No, no, no.

That's not what you're talking about. No one's talking about the little boy. I get it though. I'm a little baby crazy. I'm on estrogen, so I'm a little baby crazy. You want a baby? Yeah, really? When I'm done with this malarkey, yeah.

I fucking love you so much. I really do. You are fucking just fucking brilliant. God damn it, Bailey. I really want to promote this too. One reason why I want you on the show is because you're doing our YKWD podcast live show. So if you guys want to come down and see Bailey, myself, Kelly, Scopa and Dan Soda and with a special guest that we can't

announce yet. And Lewis is going to be there. Please come down. Get your tickets now. Go to ComedyCellar.com or the New York comedy festival to get your tickets. We're going to be the village underground on November 6th. That's a Wednesday night. We're kicking off the festival, the New York comedy festival, with a live YKWD with Bailey J and the rest of the crew, right at the village underground. And right after that is the Riot Cast Live comedy show, which is, you know, Jim Florentine, Rich Voss, Colin Quinn, Mandy Statmeller, and Bonnie McFarlane, and Dan Nattiman. And we're going to have the worst comic in the world, Davey Mack, do a special fucking guest spot.

So we got a lot of shit going on. Those two shows, same night, one back to back, starting at seven o'clock, it's the Ryakass YKWD night at the Village Underground for the New York Comedy Festival, and I'm excited, Bailey, that you're coming down. I'm petrified, but I'm gonna go. It's gonna be a, let me tell you something. I feel better about it now, but at first I was like, what did I agree to this? I was like, so scared. It's not so much fun. Do a shot. Everybody loves you.

You got to bang Kelly at the end of it. That's true, in front of everybody. I'm so back and forth. You're butt-dapicking. I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna actually fucking get a wig, Kelly wig, and slip in. I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna actually fucking get a wig, Kelly wig and slip in. Just gonna have the same ass. I can't like Boston.

We have the same tits and ass. I'm so, I can't. I don't like that Kelly got offended by that. It's like, the fuck is that? So, I put on a bit of light. All right, let's, let's, Jesus. All right, so, and let's, I'm gonna go this way. Ken, what do you got, brother?

What do you wanna plug? I got a couple things, Diablete Magazine, at Diablete Mag on Twitter. My personal Twitter is at Movie Guy, I guess. Also, Fangoria, I should promote them since I still write for them as well. And also, at the end of the month, October 24 24th at the Alamo Drafthouse in Yonkers I will be hosting a screening of the Wicker Man the final cut

They found lost footage of the original Wicker Man movie he restored it for it's with Nicholas Cage Not the beast. No, no, no, no, no, no Jesus. No, that was a remake of one from the 70s with Christopher Lee and it's like It's been called the citizen Kane of horror movies. Really? Yeah, really great. That's awesome. Yeah, but I'm going to be hosting that and just I just want to say special shout out to Venska of Dead Earth Politics and IFC Films. Awesome and let give us give us three movies right now we should see horror movies. Right now? Right now. That you can see right now. Give us two right now and the ones coming out. All right. Well, your next was probably the best right now and the ones coming out. All right. Well, your next was probably the best horror film

I've seen all year. It was the most entertaining. I definitely recommend that. If you're a fan of like slower kind of movies, I'd say Stoker and we are what we are. And if you're a fan of just sort of like more in your face kind of horror movies, I would definitely say if you haven't seen the Conduring yet,

see that. OK. And I try to think if there's anything else that came out VHS 2 is really good I would recommend that to okay great and and Bailey what do you get that um I mean same basic stuff Billy J show the right guys network yeah my point which is fucking awesome yeah you like it I love you guys man I love like our hipster comedy here's the thing is you can sit you really are fucking just too fucking Brooklyn assholes up in the middle of nowhere That's where they move. Yeah in the house No, I do I really I just enjoy because it's it's

It's it's is a pace to it that is Very it's not slow. It's you you have your own pace to the show you guys go at your own speed And it's it's this fucking, I can listen to it, walk through the airport, get in the car, and there's points where I can, I'll go off somewhere,

and then you'll say, you know, you'll bring something up and you guys go somewhere and you'll say, I hate doing this and it's just, it's in the callers, it's just, it's,

the callers I like, I used to hate, I hated the callers, but now I'm starting to like it. You guys are very intelligent people, but you're also fucking two nerds. Yeah. And you're not afraid to dumb it down. And you're hilarious because you're just a fucking racist.

I'm not a racist. You're a beautifully honest person. I'm the whitest Spanish person ever and I've blown like every color penis. That's my theory. You can't be racist if you'd like fuck it. What? I mean, I dated a black guy for like ever. What did you do to Kelly? I make other people get racist because they call me racist. I'm like, I dated a black guy and they're like,

oh, and I'm like, what? You are just calling me racist. So what else you got? What are you doing? Oh, yeah, October 11th, obviously, is the kickstarter kickoff thing. You basically go to bartevon.org or take it master, or whatever, get your $10 ticket. To come see a screening of Plan 9 Matter Space, come at 730 to see me and look at my boobs and all sign stuff for you.

And that's it. It's a good cause. Ed Wood statue, I just felt town. Absolutely. Love it. And what do you got there? Teri nothing love you buddy just fucking just riding my fucking coat do the belly J show go there by by belly J stuff I can't even look at your porn anymore I'm sorry I get that a lot actually did you say the porn site?

yeah it's yes barely J.coma for 18 years of older. You go there too. Yeah, I can't look at it anymore. Yeah, it's too weird. No, your cock is like, it's depressing. It's pretty great though. It's a great cock. It's like a fuck.

I like to compare my cock to my friend's cock. Yeah, but it looks, the only reason my dick even looks big is because I'm like girl size. So like it's like, oh my god, look at that dick, but like it's nice nothing I'm just like really I'm compact so it like looks I gotta lose weight Back to shredded Bob I'm gonna fuck a ticket pick take my dick out right next to you. I was gonna go what's what

Ali we house Popeyes today Bob gets in the cargo, dude. We can't do that again. We just can't do that again. We ate Popeyes. Guys, yeah, I was fucking good though. I'm listening man. Here's a deal. I'm on the verge of giving it all up. I'm just done. Food is just killing me dude and it's not killing me physically. It's just I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm done being heavy. Today on the plane, I had a sit when there was one of those one seat, two seat planes, and they were built in 1940 when men were smaller. And I'm fucking, I don't wanna, I'm not asking for the extension.

I will fucking unhinge my shoulder like fucking, and I'll be upset. Like Mel Gibson, Mel Gibson and Lita Weapon before I fucking... Let me tell you, I got that sucker on. She came up, as you see, Paul Donne, I had to like, show her. Cause it was just gone. I'm out, I'm done. I'm losing weight.

My son's gonna have a fucking bad ass dad with a large t-shirt. And my wife's gonna fucking, don't wanna fuck this shit out of her. My dick comes back, I'm gonna fuck you, Matt. I'm gonna fucking suck your wife off. Right when I fuck you. You can do that now, I'm gonna be used to do that.

No, I do, for myself. The last thing in that world, I want a mat to go, ooh. Mm-hmm. Can I get on top? Mm-hmm. Kelly, what do you got? I'm just following me on Twitter, KELY, if I STCA my website, Kelli,

I've still got a com update, a whole bunch of stuff. And please buy tickets in advance to the New York Comedy Festival, why could WD show? I know you just said it, but buy tickets in advance. So we just buy it out. Yeah, tickets to Selen, man. Listen, here it is, it's 200 seats. That's it for each show. That's 400 seats.

They're already selling an email for 100,000 people. Listen, here it is, it's 200 seats, that's it, for each show. That's 400 seats. They're already selling an email for 100,000 people, okay? So, get your shit together. If you're gonna come, don't fucking wait. Get your tickets for both shows, whatever, get them now. I don't wanna say thank you to Derek from Tampa. I just love this kid. The guy, he's the guy who sends us all those pictures

all the time with Lewis, fucking love him. I'm gonna say hello. He's great, love him. Love him. Thanks for doing a shadow Kelly. What else you got Me, oh, what do you got? I just follow me on Twitter I Can't look at beautifully is you can follow me on Twitter look in the camera. You're fucking mooch It's right there. I had Chris go bowl on Twitter. Yeah, that's really about it. Can I, can you show Bailey a fat midget ass stand up? The horn.

Stand up. I actually have a huge thing for Midget. This is hilarious. Dude, why do you see this bloody? Everybody, look at this fucking midget ass. Pull your pants down. I need a butt. I can watch this.

Pull. Turn around. Turn around. That's hilarious. Look at this. Look, turn, turn, look. It's it's totally it's a midget ass go over there go over there That's my favorite part of the midget turn turn turn turn turn look at that fat ass I was outside of us rest up with him today this old black dude was there he runs to the car and it goes side to side I go look at that fat ass goes that is a big ass

It goes side to side. I go look at that fat ass. He goes that is a big ass That is a big fucking ass. All right, man. This this fucking this went stupid tonight I apologize. We're gonna have to figure something out now the fucking bandwidth is amazing because everybody's off the internet Maybe we have to do these things if fucking midnight Chris showed his ass and everyone who left Everyone I backed a Bailey J's tits. Yeah show Bailey J's tits one more time coming out looking everybody everybody there Jesus Christ Don't be sure. Do you have no you have no bra on no way really no I wouldn't all right everybody Everybody I don't think I'm allowed to show them. Yeah, you can show them my good I'm allowed to show them. Yeah, you can show them. Maya, go ahead.

Oh no. Oh, Jesus. It's exciting in this in this. Hey, Ken, did you look or did you panic? Panic, look, panic. Go, look, look, look, look, look, look, I'm panicked. I can't panic.

I panicked too. Me and Ken both look. I was looking at the monitor. I was just looking at it. I knew I was like, I'm not looking at the monitor on this. I'm looking to get it real light. I'm really streaming. You fucking with these eyes, look. I'm looking too. I knew I was like I know her the motto on this You're a fucking dude, Dyke something happening on the show It's Bailey she turns everybody crazy. It's true. You're getting no matter which underwear you're gay now

You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for listening to the YKW did dude dude. I'm all fucked up now I'm just thinking of cock and tits. Um, guys, thank you for coming in Ken. Bailey, I love you. Thanks for stopping by coming down from all up in the woods. Matt, thanks for bringing it down. You're welcome. You guys are the best Kelly and and and and Scoper. You guys are awesome for helping the show happen. Thank you, Bobby. And the fans, you guys are the shit too. I hope you enjoy this episode, the Thursday special episode. It's a long one. So go fuck yourselves. Don't tell me I never do nothing for you. And make sure you buy the tickets for the live show

coming up on November 6th, starting at 7 o'clock. Duh. It's Robert Kelly's. You know what, dude? Fuck, I'm like, I got hell. you