Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Me, Dan Soder and Joe D

Episode Date: October 10, 2011

Robert and Joe DeRosa sit down with comedian Dan Soder.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People! Y'all listening to You Know What Dove! No, wait, you have to tell him who it is first. It's Andre the Giant! It's Andre the Giant! This is Andre the Giant! Y'all listening to You Know What Dove! UncroyoDraio.com Anybody want to opinion?

You know what you... Anybody want to pronounce? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? This is a fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking

fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking You know who I am, Robert Kelly, the guy with the rusty voice and the accent. I don't even know if I have that anymore because I quit smoking. But I'm here. I'm doing the podcast by myself this week. It's my fucking podcast and I'm getting sick of you, carcass, I can just liking guests.

No, I'm joking. I have a guest. I would never do this. I am gonna do this by myself someday. Excuse me, that's really loud. I was adjusting my stool, smell my finger. I got a very funny comedian on up in Cumber,

I don't know if you'd say that, but I think he's funny. I've done a bunch of shit with him, and I've used him a couple times to open up for me feature. I think they like to be called now feature. And Dan Soda, everybody. Hey, hi Bobby. They're applauding right now in the...

Yeah, they're going apes shit. Is that another computer? Yeah, in their cars. They're applauding. What's up brother? their computers. Yeah, in their cars. They're up wide. What's up brother? How you doing? I'm good man, I'm good. Welcome to the you know what dude podcast, this is it.

You still have the accent by the way. Yeah, I know. But I think I don't know if my voice is getting, you know, because my voice, because when I smoked, it was really sometimes raspy. And I don't know if it's actually getting better. I think you're alright like right now you sound the same it's probably just in the morning because when I quit like a month ago but I always sound just like a like a weather truck

driver. Yeah you you sound like shit. I'm like the kind of guy that if I talk shit to you on the phone. Yeah. I think you'd be scared but then if you saw me in person you're like this guy looks like a fucking delivery boy. Haha. No you don't. No you don're like, this guy looks like a fucking delivery boy. No, no, no, you don't.

You don't look like a, you look like a fucking young Russian. I actually told you, you look, you know what you are? What am I? You're, if a giant and a midget fucked, you would be the result. You have midget giant qualities. Like I have like a, like I used to have like a midget features.

And then like, yeah, you have midget features, like your I say I have like a midget features and then like yeah you have midget features like your head is the head of a midget. I've got a door for that. Yeah but your voice and your hands and your arms are are that of a of a of a of a giant. So I was always misplaced body parts and then just a door head. Yeah like somebody made you an abacement like body parts and then just a dwarf head? Yeah, like somebody made you an abacement. Like, it's sewn me together? Well, I mean, not to really, I mean, I'm not even saying that to be mean. No, totally taking that as a compliment that you're calling me fucking Frankenstein

right now. As fun as it is to say those things about you. It's true. You have like, midget, like your shoulders are small like a midget. And your ears. And then you don't have small ears. I don't have big ears. You have, no, they're, they're, they're pointy ears. They're not big. I mean, you were going to fuck me up for the next week. Listen, dude, Colin Quinn has big lobes. If you ever want to see a fucking lobebe look at that fucking

Tutzie tribe fucking I'm just gonna be it's gonna suck for the next two weeks staring in the mirror just hearing your dumb voice in my head Like dick you look like a giant fucked amigot. It's gonna be in my head the whole time Is that really my voice? No, not really, but somewhat it's a representation I'm just gonna be sharing with a shirt on because I have always body issues. It's a rep is a representation. I'm just gonna be sharing with a shirt on because I have always body issues It's a rep is a representation of my voice. Yeah, I think that's what I call it a representation So dude you're where you from man originally I grew up in Denver, Colorado Don't see well. What's the boo about it? Why cuz it's not on a coast? Now it's just a bunch of fucking hippies a bunch of peaceful people. Oh, that's horrible

How dare we build a city with people that fucking hate each other? Can you fucking giant deep voice back from the mic a little bit? A little bit back up. Tell me you don't have a giant's voice. I do have a giant's voice. You have a testosterone, a testosterone, like the back of your brain, that part that produces that fluid is producing too much.

You think it's working overtime? Well, you have that voice. You do have a giant's voice that deep. Yeah. I want to, yeah. Yeah. Do you, do you, on the giant? You're a hulk over.

Like, Oh, wait a minute, do it, do it, do it. You do it. Wait a minute, you gotta do under the giant. I've never heard an under the giant. You've never heard someone do an under the Giant. I've never heard of Andre in Judge. You've never heard someone do an Andre the Giant? I never heard Andre the Giant impression ever. Yeah, I can do an Andre.

All right, go ahead. Carcogun! Russell Ronald III! Alcarin! For you! Ha, ha, ha! You snortons just made it worth it. Dude, that's fucking great, dude.

Really about your localarka Pino Stop it, I mean it Stop rhyming this instant, I mean it What are you talking about your Larka Pino? That's the other one he does I just love the uh... I got four horses and kids were fined to lady Hello lady

Shit god damn damn you're a funny motherfucker. They're just a deep voice boy. That's all I am All right, I shut that we're doing it. We're starting to do a little video on this podcast I'm gonna start putting some video of people and you're actually the first one hey alright I broke the I broke through is the first one the first me my me my dumb giant voice So I mean do look I like Denver down. I've been there a couple times. I went to the school of mines Yeah, that's a school of minds is I don't even know where that is. It's where all the smart kids go I don't know well Well, you're just saying that because you heard the word mine. Yeah, and well, it's also like that I think a Colorado college like the two smart places in Colorado

Well, I went there once and I thought it was like a party town the guys that picked me up will like fucking just college dudes and They if you heard that in the background that was a fucking jet going by my house. We do this in my apartment It's not as cool as Mark Marons in a garage that was a fucking jet going by my house. We do this in my apartment. It's not as cool as Mark Marrens in a garage saving my life. But I'm not kidding. But we do set my kitchen table most of the time. I think it's a great set up.

Thank you. Well dude, it's come a long way. This podcast started on my iPhone. Just you on your iPhone? That's it. The first 10, I don't know. It's just me recording on my iPhone. And I did your iPhone. That's it. The first 10, I don't know. It's just me recording on my iPhone. I did one with Rich Voss. I'd call in a bunch of people.

He did great podcasts just from my iPhone and I had the reason why it was so cool for me is because I wanted to do a podcast anywhere anytime. I didn't want to have to fucking, you know, like set up. You come in and get one today. Watch you almost lose your shit setting the equipment up like I did today. Now you spilled a coffee. Oh yeah, I did. But killed it. Yeah. But you did clean it up. Oh, shit. I did. Yeah. Well, you were setting up. I'm sorry that I'm a good house guest. No, you are a nice guy. That was very nice of you to clean that up. I was actually watching you with your giant hands. Try cleaning it up like my fumbling with my tight with the tiny tissue and my dumb big hands. I was like having my own giant

Why are you already to pull the car? That's just moving shit for you. Hey, dude, why don't you come up and do the podcast? They're gonna move some shit There are people that do that shit. Yeah, I know call the assholes. Yeah, I Was shit. I just hit my mic This is a fun podcast. I don't think you're gonna be this funny. Yeah. I, oh shit, I just hit my mic. Oh, this is a fun podcast. I don't think you're gonna be this funny. Yeah, really? No, I know you're.

What was I saying? Yeah, the podcast started out just on my iPhone. So now we've upgraded it a lot. I have a mixing board. We're gonna start doing all this crazy shit. Well, the fans, you know, it costs a lot of money, but the fans started donating. I put a donate button on the fucking page,

and believe it or not, people fucking donated. A little, you know, it's not, you know, I'm not a fucking millionaire, but I'm taking all that shit and upgrading it and get all kinds of new shit, and we're gonna start doing live, which we do, but with people able to call in. Oh.

Ooh. Ooh, that's great. That's it. You have a little phone switchboard. Well, we have a mechanism. We do, you know. We have a mech, we're gonna just add some sounds. Right.

If you fucking start putting in dumb little like, we know. I just, people should stop listening. We know why. If you get to that point, it's not an 80s drive time radio morning show. This is called the You Know What Do Zoo. Welcome back to the You Know What Did Zoo.

Oh God, you have some dumb chicken turn that has the distis-diskuit with shit. We have stuff here, Dan, and I'm offended that... Well, that's probably a big kid of long-sider, what this dude is doing. Almost killed on a law officer. I wish this... Back to the heart, nothing down there about it. Got a broadon of car.

Took a course at State Ryan one, got the man. I don't think he's got a permission. And that's what he did. I was not behind this. Woo! I wish the video was on you to watch your face and how excited it got when you started playing that song. I was fucking stink, dude.

You really were just so excited to play that song. I love BuuFuTee tea justice everybody who listens to this podcast knows That fucking beautiful tea justice is the best thing that's ever happened to anybody Bank robin bank robin took across the state line. That's the man that I only had a permission that's kidnapped and how's that behind Jigs the best The rose it does. That's a great kill for you. But that was a... So we do have sounds.

We're not gonna do sounds. And... That's great. I can't wait till we get to the lightning round, whatever. Well, segment, you invent once you get more sound effects. We do have, we're gonna let some people call it, but not a lot, you know,

and we're gonna use the actual phone thing for to call, you know, people, whatever, like, you know, friends of mine. We could call you one night, where the fuck are you, fucking piece of shit? And you could be like, I'm drunk, eating a fat chick's pussy. And that would sound like a hell of an evening. Really? Yeah, nice. My wife is right there.

Okay, come on. Yeah, you're the one that opens the gates and I'm the one that's supposed to be on the leash. You have to have to set up. That's some respect. That's some wife stuff. Look, you shared it. She has no shared on. Look at my wife's clothes.

Now I'm not gonna do that. That's why, you know what, you're a good guy. That was my test I do to people. And I did it to Norton. I can't tell you how fast his head turned around to look at my wife's tits. I said, my wife, she's the topless. But Norton wrote a book about hookers, you think?

I'm just, oh, he did. I'm just a kid from Denver. You know, I'm like, look, titties. And back to Denver, what a segway. You have done radio. I, yeah, I'm well versed. You don't podcast. I'm well versed in podcasts.

Let's wrap it back up in a minute. So you're from Denver, what do we got? Go, go. And Denver. It's a fucking city up in a minute. So you're from Denner, what do we got? Go, go. And Denver. It's a fucking city that's a mile high. I like being from there, but I don't think I could live there again. I like Denver when I was there. It was a cool town.

I'm just busting you balls, dude. I think it's got the comedy club that you've never worked. No, I haven't. It is there. It's funny, because all my friends from Boston, all my friends from the East Coast, and they're everybody tell from Denver Like fucking what are you doing Denver? What do you do? They three people just walk around say three people? I know five

I know six people I know as a joke. I know but I'm saying you East Coasters to shit all over any city Well, did he look I like to be the first of all I've been to every I've been to every state in the union Sometimes the traveler body I've been to every, I've been to every state in the union. All right, world truth. Sometimes. Traveler body Kelly. Um, and I've, I've Denver is not one of my, I don't think it's a shittle. I like Denver. It's a kind of hippie-ish.

It is. It's a little fucking hippie. There's a lot of, you know, it's kind of like fucking, you know, some of those upper fucking Seattle and. Yeah, it's, you know what it is It's like a little bit of like mmm like to it has like that kind of fucking fake arrogance sometimes like We don't do either. It's like shut up I did the school of minds and these kids that picked me up back to that they they picked me up

Like dude do whatever you want fuck it who gives a shit? I was like great. I went up and did whatever I wanted and I and people were complaining keep like to all the I there was Asian people there. They actually got mad at me for some shit I did. And, you know, there was some other girls got mad. And I was like, Jesus, do you asshole set me up? You told me to do whatever you want for you three douches that pick me up, but the fucking school,

you know, and I didn't give a shit really, but it was like, fuck you, you know, school of minds. Why don't you open up your mind? Open up your mind to what I'm saying man. I'm not saying that Asians are bad I'm just saying that the old Asian lady faced is nothing more depressing. There is waiting for a bus in the sun It's like that's also that's the drawback of those liberal hippie cities. Yeah, is that they're not Like that's also the drawback of those liberal hippie cities. Is that they're not in your face about it. Like they'd be like, oh, I had a great time

and then you leave and you fire off 50 fucking emails but like, why do you gotta pick on the Asians, man? They're just gonna shut up. Shut your face. That's what I like about these coasts. You can just tell someone to go fuck themselves. Yes, you can. But in Denver, they're like, what's his problem, man?

Did he not bike to work? Yeah, shut up. Yeah, I mean, look, they got the Denver Omelette fantastic what's a fantastic John Denver if you want to relaxing music you want to know what else did you guys offer fucking nothing L.A. yeah I'm not even a Bronco fan he sucks too what do you get to right at the end hey he did it classy all right he did not do it classy the helicopter move against the package of the Super Bowl all right? He did not do it classy. He did it classy. The helicopter move against the packers and the Super Bowl.

All right, that was actually pretty cool. That was pretty awesome. That was pretty awesome. And Denver's about, I think they're about to legalize pot in November. Really? So that would be a... Fuck you. It's swear.

So you can smoke pot. I don't know if it's, you can, the thing is gonna be like Amsterdam, where you can buy it. You just can't, like do it in public. You can't sell it. Yeah, you can't sell it. Yeah, you can't sell it. You can, right now they have a law where you can, there's a possession rule where you can possess up to like an ounce of pot and just, they won't, you won't get in trouble.

And see, man, just legalize it. Yeah. You know what that would do to the cartels in fucking Mexico? It would stop them. And, well, and they don't even have good weed. Oh, yeah. Thanks, genius. Fucking idiot.

I'm just saying that the Mexican, it's weird about the cartels in Mexico, is that all their pot shitty. Is it? All the good pots from stoners with hydraulic centers, genius fucking idiot. I'm just saying that the Mexican, what's weird about the cartels in Mexico is that all their pot shitty. Is it? All the good pots from stoners with hydraulic centers and fucking Canadians. This is what weird about pot, though,

is that it does ruin the fucking ground that they grow the shit in because of all the chemicals. And they should be able to, if they do legalize it then they have to control the people growing it because then every fucking dickhead Every hippie out there would just fucking have a part farm in the woods and and and ruin the fucking environment No, that hang on second. I gotta get that keep talking. Oh, yeah, I gotta hold this. I like that. I'm holding it I'm like so every but I Want to see body lose a shit

I hope it's a little scumbags. Hey look away. Was this a setup? Did you have the mic going? See it? Dorosa could pop in. I didn't know who's gonna pop in. I always leave that mic down. Is that part of your show? It's the Bobby Kelly Bites. What's up to you? You never know who could pop in. That's what I said to my go. I just say this mic up. you never know could pop in you can that's what I said to my go I just say this mic up you never know who's gonna pop in Errosis here You know bugs me is the Is that my dogs love fucking Joe to Rosa that fucking really bugs me?

Why would that bug you Bob? I don't know it just fucking bugs me. Why would that bug you, Bob? I don't know, it's just fucking... Bugs me, this kid's sitting here, part of it right now. That's what bugs me. I can even hear the hangover, or your voice. Tell me. What'd you do, huh? Should get all drunk last night and try to make up the 60 year old.

Yeah, I got it. It's a pretty drunk. Did you get pretty drunk? At least you called it at the show we were on. I was depressed, man. I'm in a funk. I know that's the worst thing to do if you're in a funk. Is it drink?

No, no one's ever gone wrong doing that. He's eating it. And move over a little bit. Get close to it so I can get you guys on video here. To cheek with the roasted. We're doing a little YouTube. We're gonna have a YouTube channel for this that goes on the website.

So really? Yeah, you're the first one. He's actually the first. Yeah, it beats you. And you know what, you introduced me to this kid I did you some I asked for somebody you said this kid's the best blah blah blah you hyped him up. I took him with me Right I'm fucking believable. He did a great job. He's a nice kid fucking ho I mean this kid makes me laugh like I've never laughed He just he had me laugh on this podcast

Because of his giant voice that he asked this podcast because of his giant voice that he asked to Rose I said that he looks like if a midget a giant fucked would be the result because he has midget shoulders and he has a midget forehead but he has giant. I mean, midget forehead is a huge fucking forehead. Yeah, I know but it's yeah, I know but that's a midget ad. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But look at his arms and his voice.

He's gonna give me body issues for three weeks now. Yeah, that's what he does. He's good at that You're acting like I'm the only one that does that dude You're gonna fucking and around five seconds gonna tear into this midget for him. I am of course I am of course I am Time yet, I'll fire back on Jill. I have no problem attacking Joe. Okay, I don't like he's afraid to attack you because you know well Well, this is the reason he's he's the host. I don't want to attack the hollarace whatever he says Stop fanning yourself like an old church. He has to fan himself. He's walked. He always does. He's got hot in his hat I

Is all for the youtubers Good the hell over here. Yeah, you should put it in the fucking trash Anyways, dude, we were talking about get out come on my dogs trying to fucking get up here We were talking about the he's from Colorado Colorado. I'm on a shit state, not a shit state, but it's just kind of hippy-ish and left-wing and legalizing pot. They are doing it finally. They're the votes in November. So you think it'll go through because they vote. They look like it was going to happen in California than it didn't, but they did that like loophole shit.

Yeah, I think California was too big of a, I think Colorado has a state we'll pass it through. They just... God damn it. They love weed in Colorado. That's amazing, man. Well, I think... I don't smoke pot. I've been sober for 25 years.

And I actually... I miss... I had a 26 year sobriety date this year. Really? And I fucking... Right over it. Right, the fuck over. You know why? Because I quit smoking. Right? I was such an a mental fucking panic state

That I just didn't even think that I had 26 years of sobriety this year. I believe it's 26 Yeah, I was 15 does it mean as much to you 26 years out You know what I mean? I mean I know what it means when it means Yeah, when I see you guys and throwing your lives away every fucking Saturday What it means, but... Yeah, when I see you guys and throwing your lives away, every fucking Saturday fucking Saturday. You're rolling around trying to find life. Oh, yeah, it means a lot.

I'm fucking, I know what happened last night. Yeah, I'm gonna get punched in the face by my best friend. Yeah, he got punched. Louis punched him in the face the other night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Louis is a goddamn animal.

That doesn't completely knock alcohol. Well you don't fight you if Lewis isn't animal. He's a he's a damn animal. He's just a beat like if I'm a midget giant then he's just a shaved gorilla. That's all he is. But here's the thing is you don't fight each other. He's attacked me. He was self-defense on my part. You know you say when somebody attacks you. Use your words. Is that what you do, Bobby? You go like this. hey, not get the fuck off. Seriously, stop, or I'm fucking leaving. I do that 90% of the time.

Occasionally, I get some whiskeys in me and feel like I can't check it. That's the problem, right there. And now, this is why I don't have a problem with weed. Cause I never fucking bash somebody's face in them weed. I never got violent on weed. When I was on weed, I just fucking chill and laugh. When I was on alcohol, I just fucking chilled and laughed.

When I was on alcohol, and you watch these shows, watch all the jail shows. You ever see that where they have the, not the actual where they get arrested, the intake, you know, where they bring them, the cops bring them and they have to get processed. You ever see that show? I think it's America, jail or something.

90% of the people getting thrown to the ground and strapped to that fucking chair, 99% of those people are fucking drunks. Are on alcohol. And they're regular fucking people, regular dudes. That's actually Colin Quinn. Oh, please pick it up and put it on speaker. Can you?

Or is it gonna sound like shit? I don't know, maybe we'll pick it up. Hey, Colin, we're on my podcast live right now, so be careful with what you say. Smile, my whole, sorry. I'm on with Joe DeRosa and Dan Soda. Hi, Colin. Joe DeRosa and what?

I'm with Joe DeRosa and Dan Soda. Soda. Soda. Yeah, do you know him? Joe DeRosa and Dan Soda. Soda. Soda. Soda. Yeah, do you know him? Sure, no, Dan. What do we got? No, no, no, not Puerto Rican. He's a white guy from... Dan, thank you, good.

No, no, no, he's not Dominican. He's a white guy from Colorado. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Jesus Christ. He, uh, he... Where's he from in Colorado? he he he he he he he he he he

he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he

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he he he he he is a Why do you know what that is? Stride the how are you such a fucking so vaunt with shit like that What how do you know that's what I want to know how the fuck do you know? All right, you want me to call you later. You have anything else to say to people do everything else to say to Joe and Dan Shit Funny, oh my god, well, I was nailed that too. That's incredible that he knew that. Well, here's the thing is that, we're gonna actually, I told Dan that we have this

new thing that Joe, I don't even know Joe so, we got this. The mixer. And we're gonna start doing the podcasts, like this, we're gonna start doing it live, which we've already done, and having people call in like, callin' through Skype. That's cool.

Yeah. That's right. And that's from the fans, dude, they're fucking the fans have been donating, and there's a couple people that have been donating and fucking like religiously once a month, and sometimes people are doing like twice a month. Really? And I had an email and I'm like,

dude, I got nothing to give you. I already gave you the fucking CD, and they're like, yeah, I just wanna donate. So we're gonna thank them at the end of the show, but yeah, so we're totally upgrading this shit shit I'll donate you some CDs if you want to send to the Double-donate Don't say that yo What now now because now what cuz I have it set up to where you don't send anything

They just they get a certain thing in the email and they can go and take the CD now you put that out there Now you're gonna now you're gonna want you fucking CD never mind Well, no, no you said it so it's out there now you have to email it to them Wait, no, I'll just do it the way you do it put it on a with the first CD not the second one How no the my first one, but how do you do it where you send it to them digitally or whatever? I put it on a certain secure websites where they can just I send them the link and they can download it I'll do that. I'll put it on a secure website. Alright, well, alright. I think I don't know if I'm allowed to do that.

But here's the problem. Do you want me to get yourself in? No, here's the problem. I don't even have anything to give. That's why I just stay tired. No shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Dan could donate to Fritos. Dan? What? Dan could donate. Dan could actually lift cars with his hands. You're hungry to come over. And he does Andre the Giant. I've never heard.

What other ones do you do? As a macho man, it's great. What's your macho man? Step back from the mic though, because macho man is loud. No, it doesn't. It's not going to be loud. All right, go ahead. Yeah, the big goons on and the big goons on. Yeah, dig it. All right, go ahead. Yeah, big gold on and the big gold on.

Yeah, dig it. Can you interview the macho man? Yeah, all right. All right, here we go. All right, we're cutting to live. Joe DeRosa interviewing the macho man, Randy Savage. Macho man, what's up, man? Yeah, just hanging and banging.

Yeah. Are you sad that you're the only person that actually died when they had that fake the world was gonna end? I'm knowing the one with the apocalypse there to take it on and see if everyone else Drumped an old boy on that apocalypse. Yeah, dig it I'm gonna park a lips. Yeah, dig it. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I gotta shut this fucking phone off. Go ahead. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Who are you hanging out with in heaven? Yeah, hanging out with a little bit of everybody. Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley. Yeah, even Gandhi, dig it. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What's your now that you're dead and you're up there and so many other great wrestlers are dead What is the dream wrestling event that you're gonna put on up in heaven?

I mean because you got a lot of guys up there. You got you got Guerrero You got Hitting yeah, the mr. Perfect good friend in the much old man. Yeah, you're talking about God slam 2012. Yeah up in heaven Cloud steel cage man out of cloud macho man going to the top. It's gonna be wrestlers versus celebrities Yeah, so not true of the magio Picking on the macho man and a heart from Legion of doom The new road warriors. Yeah and a hawk from Legion of Doom. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've heard him, I've heard Pesci, I've never heard Andre the giant he did in the building on the bed looked. I got in the four holes and Chris from Fongley.

Hello, lady. That's fucking brilliant. Jesus Christ, dude. But you could do a Bob from, or Bill from South of the Land, right? Where? Who's that? Where? South of the Lambs.

It's the same voice. It's the same voice. It's the same voice. So this is South of the lambs? It's the same voice starts basically the same grief you that is This is silence of lambs. We're worried We're sure a group of fair up person You weren't hoping me with my coach you can't do that because my arm Don't you hurt my dog if I had your dog if I could hold up Now she doesn't give a shit. Hey, grab her.

Do you want to come here? Do you want to come here, baby? Come here, baby. Come here. It's gonna hurt for the YouTuber, do you want to come here? Do you want to come here? Hold up. Come here.

Hold up. Come here. Come here. Watch me get big fucking giant hands, you know, I'm hurt my dog. Don't you hurt my dog? It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again. It does what it's told or it gets the hose again. So creepy.

You're a riprop. So creepy. Yeah, it is creepy. All right. Well, anyways, I'm going to be... Let's get back to this fight. I was a good sidetrack by the way, but let's get back to the actual the pot The meat. Well, I think I mean I look at I know you guys both drink and you both fucking right on the cusp of alcoholism. Yes, yeah and

I hope you make it out. I hope you get out of it I hope something happens in your life that you get a little older and you get some response up in. You can't go out and fucking just get trashed the way you guys do constantly. I do, because you guys might, you know, you might make it out. But I, you know, I hope you do,

because I don't want anything to happen either one of you, especially you Joe. Thank you. But, I think alcohol is fucking the worst, the worst thing on the planet. I think it's worse than fucking heroin. Because it's legal, it's acceptable. I mean, people can't go out without having, I'm gonna get fucking buzzed in mind.

You can't just go out. And people get drunk, watch these fucking shows. It's this fucking regular dude comes in Fucking what what have I done? What tell me what flipping up banging the head Against the fucking wall getting thrown to the ground over and over again It's all alcohol and then cut to five hours later when they're like, hey, I'm sorry Yeah, and they're just them and it's like oh my fucking God You are a totally different human being and it's scared it scares the shit of me because I used to be that I used to be

Hey, whatever nice guy. I got drunk. I would fucking fight and get the shit kicked out of me and be violent That's all in you already. I don't believe I don't think you become a different person I think it just sheds the skin and the bed, the core you comes out. I agree with you. So when you get drunk, you become a fucking cont. No, I don't. I've seen you drunk. I'm a joy when I'm drunk.

People love it. People, people, I am pretty fun when I'm drunk. Both of you, you just delusional. No. I'm fucking alcoholics. But tree said to me before it goes, you know when you're really fun dude, when you drink, man, you don't act sub subconscious anymore. I listen. I agree that you're a jovial when you drunk You also you get fucking a little snappy with people who fucking cross you like bartenders

I'm throwing you under the bus You do get a little snappy. With you! We bet at the same barcope times. A lot of people are talking about the way you've been treating people. Uh, you were. Wait a minute, who have you seen me get snappy with? I don't know.

I'm a person on a bar. I'm not that guy. That's okay, not that guy. She was being shitty that night. I see what I mean. I wasn't the only one. Three of us got snappy with her. She was being shitty that night. I see what I mean. I wasn't the only one three of us got snappy weather because she was being shitty to us.

Maybe. Hey, happy Jovill. Jovill, Jo. Oh, fuck yourself. He really is a fun drunk. I love getting drunk with Jovill. She was drunk right now. Get comfortable.

Um, listen, no. I've been with Jo drinking. He is drunk. The only thing that does suck, there is things in his hands. He've been with Joe drinking. He is drunk. The only thing that does suck, there is things, his hands, he needs to move his hand. He'll spill a drink or pour a drink down somebody's back at some point. I don't know if it's a thing that he has to do,

that he does intentionally, or he has to pour something on somebody or something at one point. I get very excited when I drink, when I talk about the things I'm talking about, so I just get animated. You have those fucking Chris Rock fingers that just get in the way or a city-o-hall hand. I find that, look, I know it's obviously not good to do it too often, but it does help make me feel less inhibited.

I'm a very inhibited person when I'm dead sober and I don't want to be, but I'm very self-conscious. I'm very guarded. I don't jump into conversations as much as I want to because I'm afraid I'm gonna bomb or fall in my face or whatever. I always need, you know what's funny though dude? Radio does that too. When I go on O&A, my personality when I'm on O&A hanging out is the similar to my personality when I'm drinking because that device Does the same thing for me it just puts me in a more comfortable space where I feel like I could talk freely Yeah, well you go to I mean on the podcast you the same way too, I mean you're you're very free and open and jovial Yeah, so I need something there to do it. You know apparently I mean you can do it you've you said that you know that it's there You know what the problem is is that you you when you're when you don't have these things that, you can do it. You said that you know that it's there. You know what the problem is, is that you,

when you don't have these things that you have to do it, you don't, so you can just make that decision. I'm gonna be more jovial and nice. Like when you go on the radio, you're making that decision to be a better person. So when in life you could do that too. When you're, yeah. I don't know, man.

It's a choice. It's like a lot's not top. You just said you'd do it. You just want the yeah. I don't know, man. It's a choice. It's psycho-loss. It's not tough. You just said you do it. You just want the elixir that automatically gets a bowl. I don't get alcohol. I just fucking don't get it. It's just stupid to me that you're drinking poison and they have to add fruit to it.

They have to add some type of flavor to it to make it taste even paddle palatable so you can get it down. I mean, it's awful. That's your gift on the rocks. I don't mix it with a thing. Yeah, but it's, you don't do it every, they don't just give you pure alcohol out of the fun.

It's not moonshine, you fucking talk. Oh, I should, I thought you have to mix it with orange juice or something. I thought that's what you were saying. No, you have to mix it with something, they mix it with something to make it taste okay. You're not just drinking straight out. I'm out of the fucking shinier.

I know. No, no. You're in prison making fucking toilet wine. Yeah, toilet wine. It's tough. It's tough. That's all the tough thing. My wife, when she drinks fucking, oh my God,

chatty fucking Kathy. I know what do you mean? You know I've seen a train fucking see my party she comes she has three She got you fucking burns you can both years with you with me. Okay, all right Fucking goon hand my wife downstairs Right down that spiral staircase, like a fucking, like a fucking, have a right by the elbow. Get that flat go. What the fuck do you think I would go for?

What I'm gonna do. I'm gonna roll. She has, dark comes down. She has two or three pink martinis. Right, something pinkish. Right. She does, she gets on my- Wait, but she just shook her head.

Is that not true? I allow you to speak on the podcast. I don't really trick more tiniest, but. Oh, there you go, Joe. Whatever they are. Yeah, you're in a topic for a very- Dawn, Dawn also uses the podcast like alcohol like I do because when these mics are on,

she gets very chatty as well. Oh, who's she doing? That's true, all right, that's enough, go. You going to work? I'm going to work. All right, go make that money. Dawn, you're missing out today. I making Bobby I'm cooking Bobby Ville meatballs into pork ribs it's so great from scratch I want you to come to him and he said

you were working yeah yeah I save you a little I'm so nice how's that sound I'm having him saved food really is that happen? I'll see you later, babe. Take care. Bye, Mama. Don't fuck anybody. Oh, boy. All right. Hey, did you meet Dan?

Yeah, I said hi, and I know who he is. All right, he's, he, Mom was a midget, dad was a giant. That's true, huh? Crazy, ready as a reality show on TV. He's a remarkable baby. His, the first episode is his parents died, and he has to carry a little mini coffin on one hand

and another big coffin under the other hand. And the whole circus friend family is behind it. Following it in the session one. He's got a bearded lady in the fucking good. That's a bad idea for a show. That's funny man. That'd be a funny show like a Comedy Central type of show. What's that? That, like a guy whose mom was a midget, his dad was a giant. And he leaves the circus because they die, and if they do a trick and they die, like Wig Robin from Batman, you know?

And then you fucking, you go out in the world to try to find yourself, that's funny, man. Yeah, all right. Well, now fucking 90 fatso's just stalled from you who listen to this podcast. Well, there's a bunch of dudes and basements going that is a good idea I'm gonna fucking copy right right now. It's beyond it's none of us. We're gonna put the effort into it We're doing fuck that we put some effort into it hang on Sorry, oh the new wallet I'm Sorry, you got a new wallet case you fucking cocks. Oh the new wallet. I'm this phone It's the fuck there's no more video cuz this thing fell so fuck it. Where is it? Oh my phone is right here

I just panicked my it's like all right here we go. I'm gonna talk about this at the other the show Okay, you know me and Joe both have wallet case phone phone cases and we get it Can I just look at it? I can't wait till the end. Yeah, you can look at it now. But I got a new one. It's the ultimate. And the case, actual good case that protects your phone.

And it holds three cards. Instead of two, most of them hold two. This is made to hold three. And the mechanism to get the cards out is so much better and easy. And we'll talk about that. Which we haven't done in a while, tech talk at the end, Joe. I know, I know.

You have any tech that you like. But we're not talking about it now. So put it down, we're on alcohol drugs. Did you get this in a store online? We're gonna talk about it at the end. You can wait. All right. Jesus Christ.

Well, look, they ran out and bought the last one, which I have on my phone now, which was the second wall at the risk. Right. You can get this today if you want it. You guys have to. Well, you have to. Wait, you guys are stupid fancy problems.

I hate you. You know what? You know why? I hate you, but I want you to do that. I don't have the fucking camera on, Josh. It's twice your son of a bitch. So listen, I, where are you going? Just getting a bitch. So listen I Where you going? Okay, okay? All right, just I didn't know if you're gonna fucking hit me

Watch out on this podcast today and I just don't think that alcohol I just I'm trying to curb it right now I don't I thought I think it's fine. I love pot. You know what I did last night? I had a beer with Joe because he's resolved to press really? You were depressed and he said he's gonna get drunk And I said you know what I'll have a beer with you on the show we were on had a beer Then I went home and smoked pot and watch boardwalk empire had a great time. Yeah, I don't mind pot. I got a good good night's sleep I my wife smokes potch not not she's not really once in a while. Yeah, she'll light up She's had weed in this house like one and a half joints for like five years

or whatever. She'll take a couple puffs, whatever. I think pot grows out of the fucking ground for the most part, I mean now it's all, it sucks to me is that when I smoked pot back in, 26 years ago, it was just pot. It would get grew out of the fucking ground, they ripped it out, hung it upside down,

and that was it. The pot, you guys, you had to smoke like a pound of weed to get stone when I used to get stone. You guys take two hits and your brain is on another dimension. It's pretty nice. It really is incredible. It really is incredible. Yeah, that's what I'm fucking jealous of. Not that I'm gonna smoke pot, but...

Oh, the fucking day. Alright, well the phone's fucking ringing here. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Go ahead, guys, keep up. The first time I ever tried a vaporizer, that was like life-changing. Which other one, the big metal one, that fills up the plastic bag, or the one?

My friend had one, it was like a tube, it looked like a vacuum tube, and you just suck out of the tube. But that was the first thing. That's what always bothered me about weed was like, they're like, you know, you're with Bobby, sorry about there's so many strands and types of it. And you'd, people would buy this amazing weed,

you know, and go, dude, smell this. And you'd smell it and it was like, you could taste it almost. No. And then you'd smoke it and it tastes like shit because you're putting fire and shit all over. But then the vaporizer, when it just sucks that THC out of it, and you breathe in, you taste the flavor. Like it tastes like it smells.

This is making me wanna get stoned right now. Now you can't get high, you can't even smoke in here anymore. That's what I'm talking about. You're both smoke, right? Sigarettes? Yep. Yeah, I'm not. This used to be a great time. You sit here and you smoke, you're gonnaiggrates? Yep. Yeah.

I'm not. It seems to be a great time. You sit here and you smoke. You have a couple of butts down. Yeah, you treat coffee. But pots like alcohol, you can still have coffee. I know. You can, it's not the same.

That's not the same. You can abuse pot. I'm like trying to cut down on my pot, use. I know. I know a lot of guys. I'm becoming just dumb. Well, yeah. Well, I mean, does pot make your fucking stupid. Yeah, it does

Yeah, it just does a kill brain cells Yeah, it really affects your nerves dude. It affects your nerves in a way drinking does and it makes you paranoid Like a mother more than you already are Yeah, this that this is probably from years of pot abuse really it's why I cut back Yeah, I don't I started to have major panic attack. Right towards the end of my like weed career, where I smoked every fucking day for years and years and years.

I was about 24 when I came to an end and I was having panic attacks when I would smoke. I'm talking major, like the room is closing in on me. I can't breathe, I feel like I'm dying. What's going on? I can't get control of it. The worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. And then I was like, I was like,

I can't do this like that anymore. I only smoke it now once every, and once every five months, four months, you know? I can barely ever smoke it. I actually have my first panic attack on Thursday night. No, Wednesday night, last Wednesday. Cause I quit smoking and then I went on this fucking fart diet MediFest.

I'm off it by the way. I'm just on a regular. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna do Weight Watchers cause that's what everybody seems to be like Lenny Clark and a lot of fucking guys I know have done Weight Watches for men online whatever it is and it's just math it's just you know you here's your body weight you blood type your age your height this is how many fucking points you get a day and they you know you they have an app fucking easy just don't you're done fatso no more food and you suffer So it's kind of good because it makes you look at you know a scoop of you know

like a couple scoops of peanut butter is you know that's a slice of pizza so you can go have the fucking slice of pizza but you can go eat all have a you know four slices of pizza but that's all your points yeah so you could fucking do that I guess but I think it's just a little easier but this other one I was on many fast, the soy based protein bloated my stomach. So you don't even feel when you want to die, look, you know me, I've lost weight seven times or six times. I've been skinny and shredded and fat as fuck. Oh my God, so many times in my life, you've seen me go up and down.

And I know what it feels like when you go on to die, I know when I'm kicking it, but I'm really not eating bad food and what I should feel like. And after a week of not eating sodium, carbs, and sugar, you should feel thinner. And on this fucking diet, the only thing that felt thinner was my cheeks. The rest of my body was just fucking blown up and bloated and swollen and I was farting all fucking day. And it was insulting farts. Like just awful. Oh my god. Like where I had to act. Like on the plane, I had to act like it wasn't me. So what else did it? Yeah, I had to act angry. Like what the fuck man? Wow, you believe? And I'm like, I'm acting in life right now. I'm so embarrassed. That's disgusting, man.

It was bad, man. What did you do with all that fucking bunker food, they say? It's right, fucking here, dude, bunker food. It's here. I'm gonna fucking donate it to a fat person. Yeah, that shit looks like what you'd eat, like the apocalypse happened. Like, you'd have in your fucking'd eat like like if the apocalypse happened like you'd have in your fucking shelter. It's actually I want to I might keep it for that actually that fact alone,

but some people some people don't like Serpico did it. He knew I'm problem with it. He doesn't you know it didn't make him like for a little farty, but then the gas went away with him three weeks with me on this thing and I couldn't stop. It's because he's tiny. How big of a fart beak up out of that guy. It'd be like a little plate of your poodle farted. Like a hobbit fart? Yeah. Don't knock a little, dude, Kelby Farts have made me throw, I've thrown up.

Was it not, Kelby, I was knocking Jim. Oh, okay. You're good. Go ahead. But the one thing that, you know, the addiction, talk about anxiety, I had an anxiety attack because smoking, I didn't know, and you know it, but you don't know it until you go through it. You can know something or, you know, be knowledgeable about something, but until you go through it. You can know something or be knowledgeable about something, but until you go through it and

live that fucking pain or whatever the fuck it is, you'll never really know what the fuck people are talking about. And quitting smoking, I learned when I want cigarettes, when I'm scared, when I'm stressed out, when I have anxiety, because every time I want cigarettes, before a show, after a show, before I'm going on a plane, right when I get off a fucking plane, when I go down to the cellar, when I go to Vegas, when I walk by a slot machine, all these fucking things, and the night before I'm leaving, when I'm packing, I want to cigarette.

Sounds like you just want to cigarette all the time. Well, because I'm stressed out all the time, I'm really, I mean, there's comics too. You don't understand how we're fucking constantly under. We're fuck-ups. We're literally fuck-ups. We're fucking crazy people that do this fucking job that's nobody can fucking do.

We go on stage and make people laugh. And you know what people really would think they can do this or would love to do it or, and they can't. We just do it. We don't even think about it. People say, how do you, I don't know, I just did it because I'm fucking nuts. And I'm an ego fucking narcissistic, fucking lunatic

that just did it. And I never thought about it. And I just kept fucking doing it. When maybe it just, that was it. And then all the stress we have, flying, all the flying we do, booking a ticket, getting the hotel, getting to the hotel, getting the room, going to the gig, you know,

it's fucking nuts. The poo's on before you, what they're talking about, what the fuck, how the crowd is, are people drunk, and after the show, you got another show, and our people coming, our people not, did they pay for tickets and they give away tickets, do they have food, all this fucked up shit is on your plate.

Do I have enough socks? Is mine to wear? Should I do this? Do I pack light? Do I pack heavy? Do I bring CDs? Do I bring CDs? You'll fucking go nuts.

And if those cigarettes or alcohol or drugs or food, whatever that is, makes you relaxes you. It just gives you a second. Right. And then, okay, let's go, let's do it. And I took all that away and I can't believe, I had my first panic attack last Wednesday night where I was like, and I had to stop talking out loud.

It's okay, man, it's good. It's like, what the fuck in pussy I am? It made me sick. It really made me sick. I was like, wow. And, pussy I am? It made me sick. It really made me sick. I was like, wow. And, you know, I'm brutal, dude. I just don't think alcohol,

like smoking will kill you, right? And food will kill you, and pot, and all that shit, I guess. They're all it's bad for you, I guess. But alcohol, I think, is the most dangerous one. Because I think violence comes out of people. And anger. I think bad decisions is come out of people.

You got punched in the face the other night. Yeah. That's stupid. But I wore it like a man. But here's the thing though, what if you really got hurt? Yeah. What if you really hurt? I've been really hurt from drinking too much.

Am I 21st birthday? In downtown Denver, I took a fall on some stairs and cracked my head open above my eye. 14 stitches down to the bone. Jesus Christ. I was blacked out drunk. Didn't even remember it. Me ha recorregado el abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano, abro de la mano ¿Habéis hecho una... ¿Habéis hecho una... Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¿Ven Blackout trunk? ¿Ven Blackout trunk? ¿Homé?

¿Y a mí? ¿No es realmente. No es realmente. Si me realmente me voy a ir a la forma de que es fuzida o fagida, pero no me placa. No es una copa, pero creo que es la is the defining factor of alcoholism. Everybody I know that's an actual alcoholic blacks out, and their body doesn't have an off switch. Their body never says, dude, stop drinking because you have to throw up or you have to eat or whatever. I have it, I definitely have an off switch. I had a point where I'm like, I can't drink

anymore. I'm fucking starving. Or I'm like, I'm gonna get sick or something, you know? It's called the whiny cunt switch. Yeah, yeah. The whiny, the fucking whiny content you outweighs the alcoholic in you. Yeah, yeah, that's actually good. Yeah, the fatty in me goes, it's time to eat now. But do you know what I mean? Like the guys at Blackout, their body never tells them that.

Their body never goes, go eat, dude. I mean, I don't black out all the time. I have blacked out. Black out their body never tells him that their body never goes go eat dude I Mean I don't black out all the time I have blacked out don't back out now you just fucking Alright, well, I don't but I don't black out all the time I blacked out when I was 21 cuz that's the dumbest birthday That's where everyone shoves just a stupid amount of booze down your throat, right cuz they're like did you fucking 21? Have a shot of tequila and Tabasco Like I'm the worst isn't it fucking ass Tabasco. Like I was drinking stupid shit. So of course I'm gonna black out.

I'm Irish car bombs. Like no one should drink those. Yeah. I was at a comedy club this weekend and a guy, like this guy was about to go into the show and he was doing those fucking bombs. He was doing boiler-makers and I'm like, I don't want this guy in the crowd.

Yeah. He's guys fucking, that's this shit, like that's like stupid drinking. Right, right. Now, granted me, and you drink and we'll drink like whiskey's and beers. Because you're men. Because that's what dudes do.

You know what, I don't think you're an alky, Dan. Like I've seen you drink. You know, there's just something there's, look, I definitely abuse alcohol. You definitely abuse alcohol. And we definitely abuse it for emotional reasons sometimes That's the definition of an alcohol Look dude, I've been in 8 for 26 years. Okay. I'll say that's the definition You know any fucking times I've heard that fucking same thing in the meeting

I didn't think I used to fucking tell myself, you know, I do abuse it But I have an under control. Go. Fuck yourself. Hey, you fucking cock suckers should both be an AA and both. Yeah, guess what happened last time I went to AA? What? The people at AA said to me, dude, you're not an alcoholic. You've been here for a while. We've listened to, they go, you're so many that abuse it, but you're not an alcohol. They said that to you because they didn't want you around the meeting. Talking wordy Joe going on for 30 minutes in an hour meeting. I always kept my time during trying to do it. I'll tell you this dude.

I'll tell you this. Like last week, it's having the distraction and not be able to do it. That's really what it is. It's when you have time on your hands. It will last week when I was on the writing job and working with you on our thing. Our secret project.

Yeah, do a secret project, Joe. That's what you have to do. Secret project, sorry. And doing all kinds of shows and radio and shit I was slammed for the week and it was just like I never felt like I Got to go home and have a drink tonight or man. I wish I could have a drink. I was like I'm working my fucking ass off And when I get a night off I'll go have a few drinks and awesome fun. Okay, now I agree with everything you just said But can you just yeah undo your hands because that was just disturbing

I agree with everything you just said, but can you just, yeah, undo your hands because that was just disturbing. Hahahaha. Whatever the fuck it is. But if I talk like this, how much of that buggy? I do kind of talk like that. Hahaha.

So I mean, look, I don't know if you're, I've been out with you before. I've never been out with you drunk, but I look, I don't have a problem with it. I think, but I think alcohol, you go down the village and you see these girls and you see these guys and their regular people during the day and you put booze in them

and they turn into fucking assholes. They turn into cunts, bitches, assholes and they don't know when to shut up. They just fucking, it's not, when you can't make a judgment call, when you can't say, I don't wanna do that or make a decision, a healthy decision, you're too fucked up, it's bad, it's bad.

And you see these girls in the clubs too, mainly girls that are so fucked up and they'll be, please stop, can you still, and they won't shut the fuck up. And then you say, you're out of here. What did I do? I was just talking to my friend. We told you not to talk.

And you see the way these cops, I don't get, you see cops and they get in trouble for fucking slamming people to the ground or what the fuck you. You have in some fucking loud mouth asshole just in your face drunk on listening office and pushing you being the, trying to get you to fucking, you know,

you know, just serve back up back up Don't put your hands up. I'm not putting my hands up as they put their hands up And then they get slammed to the ground you're hurting me. What did I do? And it's like fuck you I could never be a cop because I definitely abused my power. I would fuck hang on What is that the silent bells of a pedophile? What is that the ice silent bells of a pedophile. What is that? The ice cream? Yeah. What's the softy?

That's the... Oh, they call them Mr. Hardy. Yeah. Oh, please. That's the song of Mr. Softy. Yeah. That's the gamble, right? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

No. Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, from the sting. The movie is the... Yeah, the song's called the gamble, right? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do He's fucking throwing up. That's a good point. That guy's still hustling, man. Someone's gonna buy a fucking E-Clair. Maybe he had a weak July. He's trying to make up for it. Maybe he's just fucking trying to get some kids in the back of that fucking truck. Why do you, what's with the pedophile jokes about Mr. Softy? Do you ever see those guys in the fucking trucks?

No, just providing a good wholesome All-American treat. Yeah, two fucking little kids What a great job that would be man what being an ice cream. It sounds like that We horrible and that we you are with your career. It was something. What's wrong with you? Here's the great job that would know it wouldn't driving around New York Apparently you never animals you never read the secret stop putting that out there Joe I don't know who I'm more mad at. Joe for saying he wants to be an ice cream man,

are you quoting the secret? Well, you're in an air-conditioned truck, you drive, you park somewhere, somebody comes up, you give them a fuck at ice cream, and then you go to your next stop, dude, it's like, why that would be a great gig. You're just looking at it on the base level, though. You gotta go parking, people talking shit,

there's probably people that, you know, you're dealing with a bunch of assholes probably all the time. And then you deal with lovely kids. And the lovely kids. Lovely kids, really? Have you walked around and seen the kids in this neighborhood? In New York, you're saying the kids are lovely.

So, one of them being the one that took my fucking, my wife's iPhone out of her hand, those kids. That's right, those lovely kids. I love the kids. You know who gives a fuck, he was a kid. Probably went and bought a fucking ice cream with her. The money he got. Sound her fucking iPhone.

He got a solid from her? He snatched it right out of her hand and ran like a fucking, an Olympic athlete down the street. What'd she do? She fucking went, ah shit, what you got me? And what did you do? Exactly. Nothing.

No, I didn't. I walked around the street with a bat looking for the fucking kid all the way I wanted to find this fucking kid so bad Smash his fucking head in yeah, well good thing you make those clear decisions without Somebody a somebody fucking attacked my wife and took her property are you fucking I would have been a fucking hero Are you fucking? I would have been a fucking hero. I would have been on the front of you.

I would have murdered him. I would have heard him. I would have been a kid with a bat. You were a kid. You said it was a kid. It was a kid. Well to me he's a kid. I don't know.

That's the guy buying ice cream. And you shouldn't have brought it up. You still don't want to be an ice cream man. First of all, you both fucking look. You're back in this little guy who's never been in a fight. I said he's wrong for be an ice cream man. First of all, you both fucking, you're back in this little guy who's never been in a fight. I said he's wrong for being an ice cream man. He's never been in a fight. That's why he's questioning my fucking motives. It's wrong you want to be the kid who's a baseball bat.

Yeah, you can't go ahead and get in. Really? Yeah. Fuck you, man. You can't go ahead and get in the fight. Okay, if a fucking guy attacked your wife, like, are you a girl, like that? Fist or fun? Okay, I go out. You said it was a first of all.

No, first of all, he was a black kid. You can't just fight a black kid straight up. What? Because they, their skin's different. There we go. You can't stop. I'm not in the problem. Kidding, I'm kidding.

I'm not backing that, David. I'm kidding. But I'm saying this. Yeah. You've never got no fight with a black kid. I honest to God, I. No jobs. I'm the first black kid I ever fought was in sixth grade and little skinny kid

I hate you. I hope it happens. I hope it all I hope something happens will one day me and you a fucking doing our secret project And we come by and Joe pulls up on one of those trucks. Hey fellas, he would bring it old school. He'd get the hat and the outfit and the tie. He'd wear a tie. Yeah, I do it. I put that nook man out today.

Sell the fucking ice cream and I wouldn't give you any. Probably doing me a favor, Joe. I would actually wouldn't be hurting me. That'd be helping me. So you want to hurt me and probably give me whatever favor, Joe. I would actually wouldn't be hurting me. That'd be helping me. So you want to hurt me and probably give me whatever I want. There you go. You know what, you scratch that park right in front of your place.

Every day, all day. Every day, all day. You play that music. Come on, motherfucker. You know you want something to be done. You're gonna rock it, pop. You'd have a megaphone fatty. I'd be trying to sleep.

Fatty. Lonely. You're so lonely all by yourself You Just just leave and fucking cases of ice cream bars in front of your door soon as dawn left the front door You'd be like that Be like that candy man and Chitty- chitty bang bang hanging upside down in my window What reference did you just try to slip in chitty-chitty bang bang You're fucking like chitty-chitty bang bang you fucking are you are you are you really don't like chitty-chitty bang bang the movie?

I never saw it, but... Oh my god, what's going on? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Dude, first of all, I'll defend Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to the day I fucking die. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was one of the best kid movies. First of all, Dick Van Dyke, who was one of the top kid movie stars ever, okay? Was in this movie. It was a fucking great movie. It was one of those, it's almost,

like a genre like the spaghetti westerns to me, okay? That style, hang on, let me finish. Joe, sit down, Joe. Joe. I'm gonna walk you off the podcast. And now sit. Joe, listen to me. Joe, Joe.

There is no way. Joe. No, because you There is no way. Joe. No, because you're picking it up. Joe, you're just sitting. I will say it again. I will say it again. About the movie, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Bobby just said this.

I said that it's in the same genre as the Spaghetti West. No. It's as far as if you look at those movies, that's with the dick van Dyke They weren't like at the time a regular American movie at that time when they were made like if you look at that one and what's another one? Mary dogs and broomsticks Mary poppins all those movies as a kid Chitty-chitty bang bang was the shit all the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the rest of my life.

That movie made her. Help me and it fucking made me happy as a little boy. What's it about, Bob? It's about a car. It's about a car, Joe. Yeah, okay. It's about a car. And then what?

And the car is magical. Okay. And it flies up in the air, right? He's an inventor. He's an inventor. Ch flies up in the air right he's an inventor He's an inventor chitty-chitty bang bang. He he's an inventor and his kids there and Can somebody all right enough with the fucking guy ruin in my podcast with the fucking dumb song

he's an inventor and He invents he gets a car and they're out on a picnic one day with the kids in the new lady in town and All of a sudden not a nowhere this ship comes in and they're about to attack them and they're like pirates and they Run from them and they go off a cliff and they're about to die But then Chidi Chidi Banging shoots out wings and flies and and and it's and the they name it Chidi Chidi Bang Bang because the car is like, Chidi Chidi Bang Bang and the muffler goes, Bang Bang so it's like, Chidi Chidi Bang Bang, Chidi Chidi Bang Bang.

Chidi Chidi Bang. Is it say it like that? Well, it doesn't say it, it's like the car noises. I'm making it, it's like, Chidi Chidi Bang. And then the muffler goes, Bang Bang, it's like, Bang, and that's how they name it. You're a fucking asshole.

Fuck you. Chidi Chidi you are a fucking asshole. Fuck you Chitty-chitty. I had what did you like you fucking I bet you like what is Star Wars as a kid? Yeah a little kid Yeah, as a little baby dude. What about you? Yeah? Shish what about you Dan? Grotty kid as a as a as a four-year-old a five-year-old He was born in the 80s, dude, So that was like a kid's movie for it. That was like, you know? But you never had, that was it. You know, what was, look at me and don't lie.

You don't have to fuck. I'm not, I'm not lying. What was your kid movie? You're a crotty kid. As a kid. As a kid. I don't remember. Before a karate kid, what was that? Um.

Say, I love the, I'm trying to remember what movies I love. I don't know, so it's fucking, you have a city, city bank bank there. So I've bed knobs and broomsticks, enjoyed that one with Angel of the Landberry. That's not a bad one, but that was really a little like that, but I never liked Mary Poppins. I didn't like Mary Poppins.

I didn't like, I didn't like Mary Poppins. I didn't like the one with, all of her twist. Great movie. Great fucking movie. You never saw all of her twist. I like the cartoons, I like the one with all of her twist great movie great fucking movie you never saw I like the cartoons I like the Disney cartoons are like like an American Taylor like never like the tail is great. What's Joe doesn't have a heart but well Joe's not from this country originally So in turn so American tales would have spoken to me because I have the same stories at mouth

Spoken to me because I have the same stories and mouths They're called Joe Fifele He if I like like I had like transformers. Yeah, I look I look I like transformers to as a kid But I had creature double feature to you guys didn't have that Saturdays they would have yeah, yeah, yeah, the Saturday horror movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, Saturday mornings I would watch wrestling. Sadie morning. I watch wrestling too, but I watch a creature double feature would be on the cartoon. It will go bugs bunny, creature double feature, and then wrestling. Yeah. And then maybe another creature double feature, the shit one. Dennis, the minutes. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, but there was also Chitty, Chitty bang bang.

And no, no, no, no, thing, what about those Christmas movies with like Heat Miser and I, Mr. Heat Miser. Oh, those are great. Yeah, Mr. Sun. So I, Mr. Heat Miser. Yeah, they're great. I think they're Mr. 101. Yeah, I think so. So, Joe is confused on it. It's not like you just. No, it's not like you just watch movies. It's not like you were just watching Bed Nights and Brimsticks and changing the bang bang. It was a it was actually a tell you what it was actually it was actually it was a shot in a certain way that it was better than regular

movies at the time like regular kid movies you know what I mean I don't know it's just I like that fucking movie I love that and then it started going a little crazy with bad news Bears it started getting a little edgier for kids. Yeah, that was bad news bears is the shit. Yeah, the original Yeah, it's fucking right. Oh, yeah, the second one sucked. Yeah, the second was horrible the original He was fucking great. He was drinking beers drinking a ton of beers ton of beers and then it was fucking swearing at the kids Yeah, I never saw he left and then they did all those ones with Tony Curtis where he was with Tokyo and I never saw he left and then they did all those ones with Tony Curtis where he was with Tokyo and

Stunk right they suck. Yeah, they were it's just all about the original well Yeah, the one we went to Tokyo when they got there was kind of funny when they were on the field I never saw what do they do? I was I I don't remember I couldn't even get into what they do Well Kelly remember Kelly the lead. Yeah, who was just fucking ugly? Especially in the first one the first one is just I ugly. Oh, especially in the first one. The first one, he's just, I think he's a different one. No, he's in all three of them. He's in all three of them.

Jack Eero, what ever his name is. Now he's fucking. He's a guru. He is so talk about a comeback. In Watchmen, he, God fucking dammit, he was unbelievable in that movie. And he was on a new series that got canceled that was based on a comic book, I forget what it's called,

but it was fucking great. It was on, I forget what channel it was on. He was the, he was like a tech guy, like a crazy tech guy. But really calm and cool. The first scene, these guys are gonna beat him up, these macho fucking mafia guys are gonna beat the shit out of him and he was How many times are they gonna pass? He's I think he's fucking just staying out front because we have the fucking crazy people next door

Yeah, I think he just stays out there and they come out like I'm like cream and fuck crazy gobble it down Across the street. Yeah, but it half house. Yeah, it's a half way house But anyways, he in the first scene he goes, he's like look you can you can be take me up beat me up break my legs I'll take the beaten. I'll definitely take the beaten It's gonna hurt it's gonna suck, but you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna survive that beating because you can't kill me Because you need the money and I'm gonna ruin your life I'm gonna fucking go in and take away your bank accounts and I'm gonna fucking... God, I'd be so great to say that to a bully. I did all, and he just was like,

I'm gonna ruin your family's lives and I'm gonna just erase everything about you and fuck you, really bad. So, you ready to go? And then we're like, all right. And then they just left my lawn. He was a, I hated the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street, but he was good as Freddy.

I liked it. I bought it. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I own it. I bought it. Oh God Jesus. I own it Stupid it didn't stink it blows the fact that you would buy that Own it like I mean you should only own movies like the godfather scar face You know things like that what are you a 23 year old cocaine? I had you know you need to do is you need a huge poster start the car lead goes way I would have owned that fuck that But I do make a good point. I only had I made the point before I had the actual fucking information to bag it up And I shot to just two movies that guys should

Right said Fred I Dead Fred with drop dead Fred right said Fred was the man That's saying I'm too sexy Jesus Christ they're remaking right drop dead Drop that drop drop that was great. They're remaking it though, which is Russell brand he's worked up Arthur. I love Russell brand. I fucking love him But he fucked up Arthur. Was it that bad? It was horrible I watched on an airplane and I literally was angry

Arthur is one of my favorite comedies Don't think more than you know drums One of the funniest fucking comedies of all times is on a third I mean you can't fuck with it one of the greatest it's like it's like it's like a beautiful tea justice Yeah, it's the same performance. Oh my fucking God and the fact that they remade that and I like Russell Brand a lot I think he's funny. He's get him to the Greek was he was awesome. Yeah fucking hilarious And he has his own little thing and they fucked it up You know what they do they take a fuck up this one. They take his classic movies and then they take apart the appeal the part of Arthur

That was great was he was a drunk. He was a drinkin' and that one? No. No, he's just like, kooky. He's probably drinks, but it's not like that. But it's not the way Arthur, Dudley Moore, was fucked up during the whole movie. And it was true, man. This moves must really piss you off.

Yeah, and then Russell Brand, they try to say lines like that and it's just not like, it's like. Hello, don't you hate Barry's wife? I love what the the ballers just be a dick to him and he's like are you sure you want to be a nightclub That's so funny, you know, I might you guys remember the show the critic. Yeah, I own the whole series when they did that when they did Arthur two you have cirrhosis Yeah, do you want to kiss me? He's a good ol' ghost I was fucking great

You're a ruckus I thought I was just doing really well with you Yeah, I can really But see then they remake that with socks They didn't want it, I mean a movie Footloose, they read it, Footloose When? You didn't know that?

No, was it done? Did you just released it? No, it's not out yet It's not out yet No, it's coming out It's coming out, looks dumb No, fleshy Listen Don't No, it's coming out. It's coming out. Look stuff. Oh, listen I want to acknowledge something right now. I get shit for cheaty cheaty bang bang or a fuck

I'm not defending footless. Just clock second brought up foot loose I just say the same par as fucking Arthur now I did not sing the remaking and drop set drop dead Fred My mouth just brought it up. He's putting words here. Hang on one second. Hang on one second. Everybody. He said he goes, Did they remake in Fulus?

And we didn't jump on like, Are you Fulus? Are you sick of me? We were both like, Fuck you and then you backed out. I said to remake everything. I didn't say that. Fulus is the shit,

but you know, not John Lutkow. John Lutkow wasn't good in Fulus. Not saying it's Arthur. The movie Kevin Bacon's first movie. It's about dance Yeah, I don't give a way you just said that was fucking hilarious. I'm sure the video of you shooting back Well, we have audio

Stop acting like this isn't being taped. It's isn't just life on a train shit dick Can I get back to my point about nightmare on the home street? Yeah, way off No, I'm okay. We back. Before you say this. Okay, go ahead. It's gonna diffuse what you're gonna say. I didn't buy it. Don't scream it to the mic, you're fine.

I didn't buy it because I was like, oh, I loved it so much, it's great. I bought it because I've been making a very conscious effort this year to expand my harm movie collection. And I love the Nightmare on Elm Street series. And I got a good price on it. And I was like, this is good enough. I'd buy got a good price on it. I was like this is good enough I buy this I'd watch it. Okay, I want to own a shitload of horror movies. Okay, I'm getting up there

I'm getting a lot now, man. Okay, all right You know, all right then you're you're changing the what you know you're changing the parameters of why you bought it You didn't buy because it was a great movie you bought it because you're trying to get movies of horror movies in your collection That's fine. I enjoyed the film though, I didn't think it was bad. But back to dance. Let me tell you something about dance. It's as far as an art form, it's the fucking most despicable, boring, holy fuck you art form there is.

When some, a girl says I'm a dancer, I'll walk the fuck away When you first of all you feet are gonna be awful and your knees are gonna be bad or in your thirties second of all Dance stinks. There's no form of dance. That's fun. Fucking hip hop fuck you Ballet all that horse shit interpretive Stinks dance And a movie about fucking dance any movie what in one besides footless okay what movie about dancing with is fucking good

only the strong it's about couple of nights i wish i had a fucking i just hit it's funny that you know movie there's no moving up and step up and all that shit's terrible dance it's all shit it's terrible Footloose isn't about dancing. It's about this fucking Bible thupor and preacher in this town. It's about you can't dance and then they dance all of a sudden they go man that's crazy. You know we should be and then they break into a dance. No, they never have. They never have. They never have. They never have. They never have. They did. They did. They did. They did. They did. She with the dust and the hat and the cobwebs.

That's for the rest. No, they're at the prom and there's a there no before that. He's dancing I already dance that is aggression in the warehouse. Yes, he dance out. Yeah, thank you He dances out his aggression really is that what you do? I just like it that I need a hero Who is that body body who I don't know that's how I stay oh fuck you go Fuck you and foot loose and dance if you're a dancer Hey, I agree Fucking hate dance for just because I said they're reaking Footloose, I wasn't defending dance.

I brought it up. I did bring it up. I didn't. Okay, so I can't bring up something. I'm the ambassador of it. Oh, you brought it up. Dude, I'll tell you why I did. Listen, the point was they're remaking great movies

and we're offended by the fact that you don't need to remake a great movie. And you brought up in the same context of Footloose. And you brought up in the same context, foot loose. And when you saw us go, ugh, you went, yeah, fuck, fuck you. You love foot loose. No, I know.

I don't want to fuck you. I don't love it. I never said I loved it. If you use, I brought it up this way, I love it. You have the same cheekbones as Kevin Bacon, and I know you fucking compare yourself to him. He's got a compliment.

No, it's not a compliment. The makeup is great. He has skeletal face. He does. Kevin Bacon, his nose looks like it, but burned off in a fire and had to rebuild it. And he's got no lips. I love Kevin Bacon, but him and his wife are both,

they look, they're just a couple of weird mouths. Her mouth looks like it's on upside down. It says no lip. Jesus Christ. All right, I didn't back that up, Kevin. I didn't. I didn't back that up. I'm sure he's less of a... You know what? He is a fan. Maybe he's a fan of yours? Yeah. Is he following you? Yeah. Really? Oh, shit. All right. No. I wish you would have said that before. By the way, I think I could have seen how I pulled back on the fucking old face thing.

I said him. It's got a weird face. Yeah, well Jesus Christ. Bob, listen to this. Are you out of your mind? There's nobody famous listens to this. That's what we're number 158. No, 20.

You know, that's another thing about this part. Can somebody, can you, you know, everybody has these fans, the rabid fans that just fucking, oh my god, promote and they really just do this crazy shit for the fucking people they like. We don't, this podcast, we need a rabid fan that will make sure that this podcast gets in the top 30, at least 30. I'm not saying 20, but the top 30.

What do you think, Joe? Uh, you know, it's not gonna, not going to be more than one is the point. I don't think one guy could do that. If he could, I would have got my album a lot higher on the list. Takes a lot of people. All right, well, see if he can recruit some fucking people. Do you? Anyways, I digress.

I don't know where the fuck this podcast started or went. It's, you know, Bob, it's the way you, but wait, wait, wait, wait, second real quick before I say that. Yeah. Where's the Lewis? I thought Lewis Gomez was coming. Yeah, he called. He couldn't, he could only make it, he only could make it at 145 or 150 or something like that. And by the time he got up here, I just didn't think that it would have minutes left, so I told them to say fuck it. I don't think actually what I got in a good 45 minutes. Well now, yeah, I didn't, you know, but you know this podcast goes.

We always fucking, you know, I spilled a cup of coffee and I fucking couldn't find a thing and all this shit happened and we started like a little late. How long have you been going for? How long you been? 2.30. What time do you get here? 1.20. 1.20. Yeah. So it's 2.30. So it's almost an hour. That would be more than an hour Bob.

It's almost over an hour. You guys started without me. Yeah, we did. So you're going longer than you're way over. We're going to fucking well. All right. We're going to wrap it up. You're like at 90 minutes right now. All right. Party poop or with that

Jesus Joe what the fuck if there was some boost here Joe wants to go for two hours He's the podcast police. He's like well. You're over 90 minutes. What the fuck is it? Is that a rule on iTunes? No, I was saying I was just giving you your that wasn't saying a judge battle. I know I know I know I was getting those earphones you wear it. I have to listen. I have to listen. I know I know I know I know it's good. It's earfellage where I have to listen. I have to listen No, I know why you're okay. Let's get into fucking you get them. Let's get it look at the things we've learned on this podcast Dan Soder Is a fucking amazing impressionist. Yeah, does fucking great great impressive I do too. I do too. No fuck you. Just take the compliment Jesus Christ big small shoulder head Little long hands.

That'd be an Indian name. Little long hands. Little long hands. Hey, man. But we've learned that. We've learned about drugs and alcohol. We all agree that they should legalize marijuana, correct? Yep.

And alcohol is a fucked up drug. Yep. And a lot of people don't know how to handle it. But you two alcoholics do. Yep. OK. We learned that. What's got to suck for a guy like you can't handle his booze like a big boy

and has to give it up. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Wow. Come on. Oh, the fuck, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just, that hurt dude. That fucking hurt. Why do you see that hurt?

That hurt my feeling. You have a drink and she were 10 That hurts dude I wish I did drink you know why Dan I wish I did drink right now I wish I fucking right off the wagon I go drinking because I had knocking The first thing I would do is be like Joe he'd be like what's up? I fucking suck up punch him right he woke up the next day and I'd be over with ice on his head going shut your face kid. Just shut your face Why would you do that? That's the type of drunk I was

That's the type of drunk I was I was a violent. I want to see Kelly drunk one day Yeah, look if we get if we live long enough and we make it to our 70s, we're still friends, we have some falling out over a movie deal or something, one of us stole from the other guy. We get that far. You got to drink at that point. You're not throwing it away at that point. You're not fighting in your 70s. I'm not drinking ever again. You wouldn't do it in your 70s

No, man, I'm not gonna go that far in life and then go and just say fuck it for what alcohol doesn't taste good Do you understand alcohol doesn't taste good? It's awful. I know and I'm not gonna I don't I don't I drank it people drink alcohol to get drunk I'm not gonna, I don't, I don't, I drank it. People drink alcohol to get drunk. That's what I'm saying. That's it, I don't need to get drunk. That's the, that's the thing I'm trying to figure out is I don't need anything to do, to be live life.

I don't need it. I'm trying to eliminate. You know, I've grown up, I need food, I need sex, I need booze, I need drugs, I need cigarettes, I need all these underlying causes to get through life and be okay with myself and be alright without fucking wanting to kill myself. I'm trying not to do that. Slowly, it's probably never gonna happen, I'll never get there fully, but I'm trying.

And alcohol and drugs, the thing with alcohol is that I'll wind up in jail. So if I even fuck around with that food cigarettes all that shit. I'll just die You don't even know. Nobody's gonna get hurt the thing with alcohol someone's gonna get hurt besides Well you smoke again in your 70s. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I mean, yeah I mean if that's what you need Joe I mean if you need me to fucking smoke again I know you'll be 80, I'll be 70. There, hold this up. We're gonna do a little tech talk right now, really,

because you know, like you said, we're a past the fucking time. Right, they've been said that. They've been said that. They've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that.

Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that.

Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said. Right, they've been said. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been said. Right, they've been said that. Right, they've been I just can't afford to me. Really, that poor. Really? You don't make money? Wow.

It's broke. That's why, when you to help them out, I try to help the kid out wherever I can. Well, I think it's all going to change for Dan very soon. Yeah, he's going to get booted out and sent back to Colorado. That's a really good job. We're going to enterprise in six months. How you want? You'll be at fucking Fridays at the front counter with... I'm not going to lie. A, there's no front counter at Fridays. You've ate there enough to know that there's no front counter. I definitely have a little spangly fucking. Yeah, all of my buttons.

What do they call it? Fuck what's it called? Flare. Flare, yeah. I'll be wearing my flare. Yeah, bill death metal bands. All right. So here we go.

Here's some new technology right now. This case right here. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. There's no front counter at Fridays. You've ate there enough. I don't know. There's no front counter.

I definitely have a little spangly fucking. Yeah, all of my buttons. What do they call it? Fuck what's it called? Fllair. Flair, yeah. I'll be wearing my flair. Yeah, build defmetal bands. Alright. So here we go Here's some new technology right now. This case right here It's an iPhone case and you put it on and you can put three credit cards up one two or three credit cards in the back And the way it is you push that little thing And it slides out so you don't have to carry your fucking wallet when I travel That's it right there. It's a great case though. And what's the name of the case, Joe?

It's spec. Spec. That's PECK. Now this is, this is a good case. There's something you should get on here though. You're. Yep, good. We've talked about these wallet cases before. See, I have the this one, which is great. This is the Sonix one. And you can squeeze three cards into this, but the thing is, is because it's not meant for three cards and the material, the case is, it starts to pull back a little bit off the phone and doesn't really give you much screen protection. This thing, you got this, what's that called, recessed, whatever, right there.

So your camera's clear, but there's plenty of open space for it. You got the recessed part here for the headphones. You got the protection over the buttons right there, another recessed thing. And then you got to raise, very small raised lip here, so if you do drop it, it's going to protect the screen. And it's like this. And it's gonna protect the screen. I like this. And it's like the three cards.

I like this case a lot. The only thing I don't like about it is that, what's that? Ahem. The hole where you put your headphones in isn't really big, and sometimes when you're trying to connect to a certain type of like exterior, external speakers, just whatever, the plug won't fit in there. But other than that, this thing's great.

It's fucking great. Yeah, I love it too. It's a spec iPhone case, wallet case. How much was it? It was only 35 bucks. 35, where'd you get it? I got it at Best Buy. Best Buy.

Best Buy has those. Really? Which Best Buy did you get it? I went to the one in Las Vegas. Las Vegas? No, no Las Vegas. What movie? What movie? Yeah, so, yeah, Best Buy you got any I went to the one in Las Vegas Las Vegas. No, no Las Vegas What movie what movie Yeah, so yeah, Best Buy hasn't fucking great the spec iPhone wallet case you don't have to fucking carry a wall

It's great when you're flying credit card ID right on your phone. Everything's right there. It's one of my favorite new tech things So there you go tech talk with Not with me. Not with you, because you love me. You have no money. None. Alright. How do you get it off the phone? You got to push it off. It's kind of hot, which is good though. It's hard to get off, unlike the other ones that are easy. You know what, you're not going to be able to do it. It doesn't feel bulky in your pocket either. No, not at all. You're going to need actually, you need muscles

of rage to get this off. But that's weird that you really have no money, huh Dan? No. Just poor. I mean, I have a day job. You do? What do you do? Yeah, weight tables.

Oh, boy. That's just fucking hurt. Why, I don't have people, too. I don't have people. Oh, fuck it! I'm not a waiter. I'm not a waiter. I'm not a waiter.

Yeah, you brought an open-micro weight. Go fuck yourself, Thoreau. We are on this thing. What the fuck? Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I fucking killed this thing. I'm sorry that I had to sweat my ass off four days a week. No, I'm just, it sucks.

I honest to God, dude, you're a funny guy. Number one, I was in Montreal with you. I did your new faces without management show. You fucking killed it. I feel bad for the rest of the people on the show because he came out and just fucking annihilated. Yeah. Cause he's been in New York just killing it

and you know, he's got that comp, he doesn't give a shit, doing a little room like that. Didn't even fucking face, he just went up and did his shit, he killed it. And the people after him were like, oh, fucking suck a dick. And you dig great. I went outside, he had like a group of, you know know all these industry people around them so you know you did great and

then the other night you won the show at the Sharaj small show yeah the comic strip yeah there's five new guys that go up and he won would you win nothing do they passionate the strip if you win and told me to email them I emailed them we got nothing back well you know what the thing is though? It doesn't matter. Ever you went up there and you have by far the funniest fucking guy. So you're not, it tells you right now

that even then that fucking, the new guys that you, doing the shit with, you're already past them. And you're already friends with guys that know you're funny that are, you know, way farther along than the business than you are. Who are you up against? No name names, because it was bad. It was bad, dude.

I think the show is, I get the concept, but I hate being mean to new young guys. Man, you guys, you and Patrice were brutal to some kids. I took some guys, take some alarms. You know, like Bobby was making fun of my big head and my midget body. Like he was basically doing it on the podcast Patrice was surprisingly nice to me. Yeah, Patrice had a lot of nice things to say Paul McCury had some criticisms And him Patrice argued. Yeah, well tell me about that. I wouldn't hear about that

Well, Patrice argued about um, well, you know Paul was kind of look. They just it's just gonna happen Paul McCury on Patrice are gonna argue Just the fucking well, what was the argument was, you know, look, it's just gonna happen. Paul McCury and Patrice are gonna argue. Just the fucking... Well, what was the argument about Dan? I wanna hear it. Well, Paul said that I was, one of my bits was too long and Patrice said no, it wasn't. Said it was perfect amount of length. Yeah, Patrice was just like, no, shut your...

Patrice said really good insight, man. Like, he went at it, he went at it in this real psychological way of breaking down jokes or people and stuff. The only thing that he sucked is that a black comic went up and did a joke about what was it? White, black guys. Something like it mugged. A little bit of menu or something. Something of a way black guys order food.

Or something like that and the way white guys or the way white And I was like it was hacky. It was a fucking half bit and he had other stuff that was great He said like it's so fucked up when you you know look like a thug man You actually look like a witness right it was just funny. He was really original You had some redial black white shit of being black stuff that was funny right and then in the middle He did this hack You know I've heard it a million times and I said that. And Patrice, like, fuck him, fuck that. And he just cut me off.

And he was giving me shit about going on and on. But then 20 minutes later, he was, it's like, really? It just Patrice. Right. And then you call him on, he's like, what are you gonna do? Sorry. You know what I mean? It's just fucking Patrice. He doesn't, I know him. So it doesn't, I don't take it personal, you know,

and then after the show I explain, I was like, dude, you're fucking idiot, that. He was like, I don I don't you don't tell don't listen to these white guys You just be but it's like no dude you can't give a fucking critique to this all these other comments Then the black guy comes up and just go be you fuck white people. It's like that's so fucking Reverse of what the fuck you say we're doing you're doing the same right right right But McKee I don't I'm not gonna get into a Patrice and try to talk over him, because that's what he does. You'll never talk over Patrice.

Right. You just, I know Patrice. And I know that he's not taking it as personal as, but Macario and him just want to add it over that. You know, because he was, I agree with Bobby and I was like, don't agree with me. I don't want Macario agreeing with me, but you know, I was I was kidding, but they just went at it and Patrice was like, well, it was actually interesting, but it wasn't, it wasn't what it was supposed to be. It's supposed to be. The guy comes out, does some stuff,

you make fun of his head or whatever like I did. You're not really supposed to get that deep into the guy, but some of the guys really stuck, dude, I'll be honest. That's a shame. They came out and I, they were, this is what I'll honest. That's a shame. They came out and I did what? This is what I'll say. There's a place somewhere for them to perform but it wasn't at the strip on a contest. Right. Because you're never gonna win.

You're never gonna be the dance odor on a contest because he has fucking, he knows how to engage a big audience, small, big, whatever. And he has presence. He has stage presence plus the jokes. You don't have stage presence. You have these jokes that are very alternative, very witty and you get to count it.

Can you not say it like you're saying it to me? That's what's the second. Oh, I'm sorry, was I talking? I was, I actually, I just was looking at your face. No, you literally go, you don't have stage presence. You have these jokes. You know what I mean, dude, you have the show. You know, I mean you have state. Jesus Christ. All right. I'll joke it. This fucking podcast. The rose

a killed it after a punk band last night. I did not kill it. How did that go for you? Oh, you missed the guy Juggling knives. Jesus Christ. Did you pull out the set though? Yeah, it went great. It was like I followed a comic. I followed another comic. I followed Seat and Smith. All followed seat and Smith all right Well, all right, that's true. Well, we're gonna end this podcast right now Joe DeRosa and Dan Soda Joe DeRosa at Joe DeRosa comedy on Twitter. Yes, sir and what you website? Joe DeRosa comedy dot com Gotham's October a three shows

Yeah, please come see. Yeah. Please come see. Yeah, please come see GoTo's website. And what are you? At Dan Soder, Twitter, and Caroline's 10 PM. I'll be featuring for Nate Bargatsy this Thursday, October 6th. You're featuring for Nate? Well, yeah, he's letting me do 30 for a tape.

And it's something. Hi, Soder. I was wondering if y'all, y'all, you want me to do some good? We should get him on the Fuck you guys We should yeah, he's fun He's fun especially get some beers in him. You want to talk about some anger I did a fucking college with the kid in this car

The worst luck ever would drive and all of a sudden there's something falls off the underneath his car He's got a pullover. He's got a he's got to knock it off with a fucking golf club and a true We literally pull back on the highway, a fucking rock hits his windshield. Did it break? Just cracked it. Oh, jeez. And it was just a fucking mess. Anyways.

So yeah, and you know, and you can always ask a question to Joey D and myself, and anybody I guess is on the podcast at Robert Kelly at Gloryholeradio.com and spread the word about the podcast. Go check out the other shows on Gloryhole. And I guess that's it, right? I got shows coming up, but here's a new thing. My new fucking app is out. That's what I'm gonna say.

My new iPhone app is out and it's fucking the shit. The old one and it's free, motherfucker, because we had so many problems with the old one that I didn't want to fuck it, it's free. It's just go to App Store and type in Robert Kelly, Apps and it will come up. It's streamlined, it's got the podcast on there so you can listen to the podcast,

pause it, rewind it, all that shit. So you don't have to fucking listen to the whole thing over again if you can listen to the podcast, pause it, rewind it, all that shit so you don't have to fucking listen to the whole thing over again if you gotta go to work. My dates, it's got the YouTube channel that all these, we're gonna start doing videos for the podcast, I'm gonna go up there on the app channel on YouTube. So it's got a bunch of shit but it's streamlined, it's fucking great and it's free. So go get my new Robert Kelly iPhone app. If you're a fan of this podcast, it's a great way to listen to. So go get my new Robert Kelly iPhone app. If you're a fan of this podcast, it's a great way to listen to the show. We get some new great shit coming out and the next

couple months some really big news. So it's going to be even easier for you guys to listen to this podcast on your phones. Even when we go live, we're trying to hook it up so that you know, you don't have to fucking be in front of a computer to hear those live shows. And that's about it. So I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for listening to You Know What Dude? Fuckin' Podcast. Thanks again for listening to another episode of You Know What Dude podcast on gloryholeradio.com and make sure to check out all the other shows on the glory home network.

If you're using the Stitcher app, type in the word FOT when you register. ITuneUses, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. If you're a real fan of the show, and you want to show your support, go to gloriholeradio.com slash Robert Kelly and hit the donate button. $10 will get you a shout out on the air. $20 will get you my first CD, Robert Kelly Live, not available in stores. If you have any questions, email me at Robert Kelly at gloryholeradio.com.