Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Mike Cannon, Mike Feeney, Brendan Sagalow | Leg Kicks

Episode Date: January 3, 2022

This week Mike Cannon, Mike Feeney and Brendan Sagalow join Bobby to get into questionable facial hair, what your Tekken choice says about you and trade past fight stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos lia. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos lia. Un lumena que de mao, a Madrid.

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Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. He's back again. Old school, back in the day, We're all starting before them all. I'm being right, why can't I use this? Podcast is so fun and crazy, And there's no rules. Shut up, you all are winning this! We're the block band, I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done.

Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Original, original. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like just falls out of the gate every time and has to recover. And there's three going on and on. Just not knowing when to cut it up a little. Ah, and there you are again. I wonder if that makes you physically feel good. That's I did like a puppet. Everybody welcome back.

Welcome back to YKWD. Here's the problem. Welcome back to YKWD. I want to thank all the Patreon people for joining being a member. This is going to you first always, and you guys are the best. So thanks being a member.

If you're not a member, you're watching live free on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe, like, and comment. At least you could fucking do, right? And all this running fucking podcasting in these coast. I mean, I'm, you know, let's go. A little respect here. And tonight's episode is going to be ridiculous. I'm probably going to get angry. But you know what? Not the new Bob. New Bob, new Bob doesn't get angry. New

Bob, first of all, these three guys I love. I think are the next motherfuckers. And I think the funniest motherfuckers around of the new guys, I mean, even though one of them's kind of old. I'm so nervous. No, no, no. But no, I want to introduce everybody. We got Mike Feney, Brendan Sagalow, and Mike Cannon. These guys are from the podcast.

What's the scenario? That's not it, legally. It's here's the scenario. Yeah, that too. And here's the scenario? That's not it, legally. It's here's the scenario. Yeah, that too. And here's the scenario. We gotta change the name. It just will never change the name. It just will never change the name.

We'll remember it. We make people remember the name. We might change the name, but that is the podcast name for now, so check that out, please. It's great. What's the scenario? No. It was behind your head.

It was once. Yeah, but we had to change it because of the song, et cetera. Legal issues. Yeah, there's a song, et cetera. Yes. Yeah. But the Indian wins. Elbedo.

Yeah. I do like that you said, this is the longest running podcast on the East Coast. I like that you just slip that in. And it's wrong. Wrong. No, it's not. There's no way to girl for sure. What? Keith and the girl. For sure. I don't know., but that's wrong. It's not, there's no way to girl for sure, Lure. Keith and the girl.

For sure. I don't know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, with the first ones. They were absolutely, I remember doing their podcast when I started my podcast on like a zoo. I bought, I bought, like, I remember Todd Lind, do you guys remember Todd Lind? Of course I remember Todd Lind. He said something really awful. Yeah. To everybody. Everybody.

And then he said to you, everyone, well, he's in the middle of a story. Wow. Thank you. Yeah, but I like, yeah. What you gonna remember to say it after I'll never forget it Yeah, this is like we're taking a detour. Oh, and then back to Bobby's thing. We're not you a brain You're a dog brains where we stay on track and on point Friends brain works like oh a piece of candy. Literally, that's his brain. He knows exactly what's going on up until the next piece of candy.

Yeah, it's always a shit instead of a candy. Yeah. Fucking commercial queen. These pants are awesome. Anyways, um, sorry. I want to get a pair of those pants, too. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking. Oh, and I'm talking about. Well, you do what your king of commercials

get 90 of them. You've done one thing and six. How did you see that? Because it was on TV. You saw that? Oh, one of them. One of them. I saw it as an idiot.

I'm going on YouTube, dude. You know what? You just told you. You just affirmed something, just not even discussed between Fini and I. And you don't have to get into it on the show But you just know that you brought him and I closer and you further out Whatever, I don't need any of you. I have a commercial I have a commercial on TV. How many of you stop?

It was a buyout Whatever you got a pair of pants and a fucking those pants and are back to ball actually. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, you got a pair of pants and a fucking those pants and a black. They're comfortable actually. Yeah, they are. Got some? Yeah, step on my fucking joke again, you fucking asshole. Those pants are comfortable, actually. Goes into his ad read.

You know, Bobby, they say that this time of year is the time when you shit yourself. So what do you love to have some pants with the underwear mind in? I don't trust what it is to wash those enough to own them. I've had them and I I don't I washed them once Sounds right exactly, but you're wearing them on your bare bag over it over Wice no, I'm not wanting a bear. I wear fucking I can ask a question. They have the underwear in them

Yeah, I guess so they have the the lining. I didn't even let them bully. I think it's a good idea I didn't even don't let them bully I think it's a good idea Good idea Oh, no, Bobby's drinking again Well, I think it's good out there. We should start. Look at how much you want to we should put we should do it Well, they've already done it You want to use more character? Yeah, I like I foster brooks. Yeah, one more until the Italian sopranos guy came out. I could do less Italian sopranos guy.

And more, but then. Stage directions. What are the, and I have two questions. What are the pants? Yeah. Is Chris Scopo in the commercial? I think he did it too. Yeah, he got a ton of us.

They got a ton of us. They got a ton of us. They got you guys too, so I know. Did they have, oh you did it? We got it. And they didn't even remember you. And you get Mike Fieny and my kid and I was like, oh, they, I'm sure they remembered us

because we had some follow up legal work to discuss with them because they put it on TV when we explicitly asked them to do only social and that's a part of the conversation. I wasn't even asked them. It was a certain medium it was supposed to be on it and then it was, and then it was not. Yeah, and then all of a sudden it was playing a lot,

a lot, a lot on television. Yeah, but they exposed you guys. Yeah, it was, what are they, oh my kiddie'd exposure. Yeah, it's 19, 19, 17,

18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 17, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, 18, by it being I like it small penis No, you the only girl in the commercials was so interesting to me Yeah, I put the tag fortune-femister right underneath me Yeah, I love you man That's her, all right What are you really do look like it just a dude? Just a hot diet

Yeah, I can't help it. Now you can, you could fucking grow your hair, stop dying it. My hair's grown. Maybe get fat again. Yeah, I don't like thin sagalos. It's getting there, right? You look good.

Oh, I think it's also the underarm, or really helps too. You're wearing spanks for your tits? No, I'm wearing like thermals because it's cold, heard of it. Why do you gonna be a hunt? I don't know, it's fun sometimes. I like to like, you know.

What? I like to sit to talk. What? I don't know. I like to bite a little bit, you know? Here's a problem with you three. I really don't need to say anything because you just did that and he's like,

what the fuck? And he's like, I have so much rage bubbling bubbly, bubbly, I'm still just catching up to the noisy mate. Why are you angry? I don't know, you know, just that. I mean, help me out, Stacey. You're really just questioning the DNA of the show.

Why are you stupid? Why are you angry? Why are you a cunt? I was gonna go with gay. I should've said gay. I said funny in my head. I can't help. I mean, no problem. I said funny in my head. Yeah, I mean no problem.

I don't think the crowd doesn't. They don't sit on their comment cards. I'm a comment card wet dream. What can we talk about something serious? Yeah, this won't be. I will talk something serious. Are we talking about your evil goatee? Yeah, evil Bobby season. Yeah, that's so funny. I was just about to say that. It's evil Bobby season. I really I really I grew this in for tonight. For the show. Yeahicking. Licking. Licking. Licking.

Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking.

Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking.

Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. Licking. I really want to talk about something serious. Do you mind? I'm sorry, we having fun, I know. If you don't fart into the microphone, I'm like, No, I'm serious. I want you to be serious. If you can for a second, I know you guys are fucking around.

I just really want to be serious for a second. I could be serious. Is there any way, us three, we could get Mike feeling it is shaved that fucking shit thing off his face. I'm dead. Damn, Michael. When you said the us three, it did distract me. Boy did I.

Yeah, that long, breathy pause. I think we all kind of went like, yeah, that was my, that was coming out. It was my, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can stand off of it. But I just reached for the guns. I also thought you were just miscounted and I was like, there was four of us.

Yeah, knowing Bobby, I was like, he definitely just thinks three is four. I don't know if you took it, you didn't get a laugh, you just redid it in front of him. And he's such a cop. He's laughing at it. He's laughing the high set it up. Yeah, he made you funny.

I set it up. You gave him your joke. Yeah, that's a very generous. That's the show. We are a comedy cuck. No, I'm not a comedy generosity. He's a polka. He's a very generous the show We are comedy cuck is what you know I'm not a mccomedy generosity He's a polo he's a Pronouncy as if it's a different spelling gender. I am the generosity

To his inner our sore Terrasta tour can we please take his mustache off of you? I like it. I like it. I do I like it I got to be honest So Bobby and I spoke the other day and it. I like it. I do. I like it. I got to be honest. So Bobby and I spoke the other day and it just came up the mustache and he just asked me what you were doing. I was like, that's not interesting.

We don't like it. And I hadn't even thought of what you looked like without it. Like this is just my reality. Like I can't change it. This is just what I'm looking at. But then I went back and watched some old videos and you're so handsome. Yes.

With it off. Yes. With it on, look at this guy. Yeah. I got to start. I wasn't getting any more work than this baby. Oh, he's getting so much more work. Mostly as a bottom, but like still work.

Yeah, he's on Amazon product mostly. That's still me. He usually works at the front of a hotel. Listen, this can be a part of your four-winged-oh-head shot. Give him that. Yeah. That's what that show is. Take it out of retirement.

In a birdie bomb. In a birdie bomb. We break a little. Disgusting. Yeah, like you're underweight. You know what this is? This isn't the bomb, antenna. This is the risk bandanna and I will be Happy I wish you wear it across my sword. I wish it was a wrist bandanna. You slice

Tied your wrist together when the river was a dog collar. I've never wanted to see you floating in a pool more than right now I won't even look at you. I believe it. Bobby looks blind right now. I'm going to write contact with the ground. I'm going to be the rest of the show like this because if you start. That's okay. I accept you. Listen, you got to get it off, kid.

Well, I got to figure out what to do with it. I'll tell you. What if you put it in the garbage? No, you got to just go to shave it right now. I got to get it off kid. Well, I got to figure out what to do with it. I'll tell you. Put it in the garbage. You can't just go to shave it right now. I got to do something. Take a few headshots wearing aviators. Boom, you can play a cop anytime down the line. And then get rid of it immediately.

You don't use it. Because he's good looking. He's a good looking guy. And he's not like you, dude. And he doesn't have to rely on him. You do, kid. Listen doesn't have to rely on him. I know we can't listen to him any. You look young, dude. You're good looking, brother.

Thank you. You're a good, good, young guy. It's not permanent. I'm not keeping it for rest of my life. You need to get it off. He's sad. Well, the more you demand it, the more it adds weeks on to it. No, it doesn't.

Brendan is speaking on behalf of Feney. I see Feney actually is like, oh, this is an interesting insight and not at all an attack. And Brendan is like, actually, you're just adding time. He'll keep it on his face. How do you not see it as an attack? Why is it an attack us calling him good looking? They're good looking shave that fucking thing. I mean, that's not all. You know, I'm actually trying to stay away from that.

That was in the looping that part. That was in my past. What the Italian voice guy. Now every time it comes out, you owe us $5. No, yeah, just for the rest of this podcast. Yeah, just for the rest of this podcast. Yeah, just for the rest of this podcast. Yeah, that's not fun. And I'm gonna be thinking about it the entire time then.

What do you mean? I'm just gonna be thinking, don't do the voice, don't do the voice, don't do the voice. Okay, that's what we want you to think. Yeah, that's, yeah. Then I will take it to be free. Huh? Oh, you're free.

Oh, believe me, you're free. How can I not be myself? I decline the bet. Is that okay? I've never been so blunt. The fuck. I hate you. I decline the bet.

I hate you with that. I hate what those thermals have done to your body. I thought you were wearing underarmor under the thermal. That's why I asked if you were wearing spanks. I thought you were wearing underarmor under the thermal. That's why I asked if you were wearing specs. I thought you were like really layered up. Listen, you guys are all fucking stone and you're all over the place. We need to focus right now.

Don't get high before my podcast again. What? What else? I need you. You would dance this smoke and we. That was a cigar. Listen, who was not? Yeah, you could talk you to the cigar king.

Listen to your. I was gonna, I need you to focus. We need to get this off his face. It was a sativa. I'm up. It's like an upper almost. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm drinking. Cannon. This little fucking asshole is trying to divert it. He's trying to change that.

Well, that's why I changed the pressure to him. So Fini could then jump in on bashing sagalo and then open it to us. It's all very important. You have to understand. I'm going to divert it. He's trying to change the mindset. Well, that's why I changed the pressure to him. So Fini could then jump in on bashing sagalo and then open into us. It's all very funny. I have to understand. I have to cycle it.

I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it.

I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have to do it. I have. Yeah, yeah, you really came around. I think I think Seriously

I might shut you fucking mouth. Okay. I need you to get it off your face because I just gave you I just really put my thing out for you Which I'm gonna do again this week, maybe tomorrow, to try to get you an audition here, right? And if you show up with that cutie, are you doing an R-E thing to me? Like, you do that. Yes, Sagalo.

Wow. Yes, wow. I will not do the follow-up. If that is on your face. It's complete bullshit that, guys, the only guys that are in this business that can, it's on the top of the, it's the only guy that's in your mind.

That, uh, let it go. It's a shame he given things on merit. Have to lose weight and shave a fucking gay ass mustache. That's right. I won't stand for it. Yeah, but you have to actually accept and appreciate it because people like Bobby and Ari who are using their power to take advantage of you are actually keeping the patriarchy alive. Right, patriotic.

Yes. That's true. Hey. Oh. Almost. Yeah, but you have a nice, you can do a nice weekly vlog and do content and figure out how to lose weight. And then Ari's going to share that. You're going to get a ton of eyes and stuff.

But you're going to shave a ton of eyes and stuff. But you're going to shave. I can't take one hair every day. We want a hundred past thirty six months. We could start into mustache specialists. That's not true. You could do variations on the way down. Yeah.

Like you do. You end up with a Hitler. You remember? End up with a Hitler. That's going to be how he would never do a Hitler. Why? I don't know. He's doing the sex thing. I was going to hit him. Yeah. You want to do a Hitler why I Want the sex thing

Yeah, yeah, you want to do a Hitler with me tonight. Oh, what he's not even listening. I was he doesn't even acknowledge when Hitler's brought up He's like that's not funny. No, I didn't say that at all Can someone please be on my side You know no one's really getting what I'm doing. I don't really get what I'm doing. You just keep saying Hitler. I felt like I was doing anything. I was like, I don't know what. I'm meeting my girlfriend.

You look like a Hitler youth after the war. Yeah, I've heard it before. Every time I get a haircut. Wow, sorry. I'm gonna get you a shirt. I'm gonna, instead of the band-in, I'm gonna get you a shirt. I'm gonna, instead of the band-in, I'm gonna get you a shirt. You can just wear a risk shirt.

No, I'm risk. I will say this. I don't see it making, you know, the new year. I was always assuming to shave it before that. Oh, no, I want you to shave it. I want to call SD probably Thursday. Caller on the phone. I'm going to say, hey, asked, did you get a chance?

And I'm going to try to, I'm going to say, please, even she's like, yeah, I'm sorry. I might run, can you just give me an audition? Please just see him live, because sometimes I'm going to do that. But I'm not going to do it if I don't see a video of that. I'm just going to shut down. I mean, what am I? So easy, man.

I have to lose weight. And also, I mean, you have to lose A's. I mean you have to lose a Hounds you could get that I'm so offended by the eight pound thing. I don't know what is so I have a food addiction nothing all of us I'm addicted to food all of us are stop talking over everybody. I'm not you are he's talking and you're just going food I'm addicted to food. You little fat Nelly. Let him have a I don't know No one will know fucking yapping over everybody. No, I didn't you were saying Yeah, he pounds is not eight pounds is certainly not a lot you should have been able to do it in under a week and just catalog the days

Because you could sweat that if you were truly motivated and wanted to audition this weekend, you could put on a fucking wrestling sweat suit, jog your ass around the park, eat water, salad, eat water, eat water, you know, whatever, for three or four days in a row, and you're down like 15 pounds, and then on your way to being. There's a real vein coming on the side of it. I gotta be fucking it, I don't want you to,

all right, I'll do it. You better do it. I want to do it. But he will, but his is by doing anything. That sucks. Just shaving. Can't get any content. Shave it.

Yes, you can only content. Yeah. And also, the man who just depends on Con. First of all, you could do content in the sense that you could be Natalie Portman in V for vendetta and instead of shaving your head, your hysterical eye and shaving. That's not even long enough for a real, too. It's a vine.

Yeah, it just keeps looping. Zzzz. You should, why don't you do variations of the mustache? Make different, you know what you do. I have to, this is what you do. Make, like, do different variations of the mustache and make like movie posters and then just put them out like every week

Be like, this is me is blah blah blah. Hey, why you do this? I got an idea shave it off and get in at the seller Shut your fucking face. Yeah, why would this prevent me? Because I'm preventing it. I'm not gonna actually because I don't maybe I got a joke or two about it But I don't like it. I don't like oh you got a fucking bit. What a record I know what you guys are thinking This cop Brennan gonna be funny. Yeah That's happened like every guy

I had like a cough. I wish I could get it out Thank God Smote hit both of you Trying to attack me. You were like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, Why do you have to say that about everything? Rive on originality. You're just throwing it out. I've heard that before. You probably haven't. I mean, yeah, you're on hand, you're just filling it up. But it is a rare thing to hear.

If you don't have to, you don't have to talk every time somebody says something. That's so true. Yes, he does. Okay. There's a mic. Shave it off. Yeah, I mean, eventually it's going.

I told you, well, that's your choice. It's going. eventually it's going. I told okay, well that's it's going. That means that it's not gone forever. Let me know. Let me know. He's gone girl. What do you mean? Where are you going to put it? What? I will. He has follicles. I'm like, you could have put it. You said. Do you think you saved your amoustaches when you were he worded at worded? No made me feel No, he didn't was saying no, we're all grown-ups and we understood what he said All right, I can't fight that logic. What the that you're all basic logic

Is that a fucking basic it's below it we learn about hair immediately I'm I've switched sides, get rid of it. Yeah. Wow, wow. Wow. What a fun way to divert the attention off of him. That was great. I mean, successfully done. Yeah.

Yeah. Welcome to the winning team. I've learned from the best. You really have just a flip flop, right? Yeah. You're a fucking man of D. You just fuck your flip flop. Not to be trusted. Yeah, you're really not man of tea. You just fuck your whip flop. Not to be trusted.

Yeah, you're really not. Out of the three of them, you're not. Oh, come on. You're not. You will burn these two. No, I need. I need all. You will burn them.

As soon as HBO goes, Hey, we just like you, I would do. Guys, and you'll burn them. Guys, they just like me. You'll send his kid a present, not even that expensive. And you won't you miss fellas. What are they gonna?

What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do?

What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do?

What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? Go for it. What do you guys, did you see how that would happen with Tim Dillon and Michael J this week? I can't think of something I'd rather talk about less. Well, this is what's interesting about it to me is that two guys who are doing fantastic. I mean, just fucking great money. But the insult was from Jay, which I love Jay. Dude, this guy's making $180,000 a month. Like, that's brain surgeon money.

Yeah. Yeah. Where's the insult? This guy's just a media guy making $180,000 a month. On just the Patreon. On just the Patreon. And advertising. But it's like he's selling out theaters.

Yeah. With this whole thing, and he's like insulting him. Like it's like, Che, how much money are you making a month? Like, are you making millions? Is he? I don't know, man. Someone's in the head of the head of the vessel, head writer of us in Nell.

That's out of that. I would assume I'm gonna say, is this crazy? How many months of the year are they on? Like nine months of the year, and then they take off all the time. Nobody cares about that fact, so we're just making a lot of use. Nine months.

Nobody's gonna go inside of the evening. Nobody's gonna go, it's really 12. Yeah, I don't know. But that said is, whoa. No one is gonna go. It's really twowl. Yeah, I don't know. But that said is, whoa. Who was that? Who was that? Well, that can't be cool. No, it was Bobby.

He was here his day, Bobby, but it cut through my ears. Yeah, it was crazy. My brain just went, stupid. Yeah. Give me your brain went. Yeah. It was nothing. Your brain is never going to.

It's too big of a brand. Go ahead. I had to spell the joke on. Do it. Do what? Finish your thought process about the months. I would say for maybe, because I know they make hundreds of thousands of dollars. So I'm going to say he's making upwards of $650,000 a year.

What is he making a month? Well, is that based off nine months or 12? I bet he's making a month nine. You take out a nine. So you can say later, it's gotta be nine. They have months off. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say he's probably making,

I mean, maybe $100,000. No, less than $100,000 a month. Probably like 50 to $75,000 a month. What are we? Then people's money. Yeah, what is the money? What are we counting? People's money. I have to do with any of this. What's that. What are we? Then people's money. Yeah, what is the money? What do we count people's money?

I have to do with any of this. What's that? What are we counting people's money? Oh, are you set up with an accent? I'm sorry. What are we doing? Hey, well, I want to be Italian. Yeah.

But that's the answer. This is the answer that doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, the whole thing doesn't make sense. All right, this is also gay. It's not gay. It's not gay. It's not gossipy. We're gonna be on chase. I'll tell you what it was. It's stories. I It's not gay. It's not gossipy. We're gonna be on Chase.

I'll tell you what it was. He's gonna take a picture of us. Ugh, why can't do me talking about that? That's gay and then I was stupid. I'm gonna tell you what it is. I'm gonna go these month. I'm like, yeah. You guys are pussy and you don't wanna fucking.

You wanna be neutral. No, no, no. And you don't. Or can't be. This guy comes after Jerry Seinfeld every two days. What do you do? For you. For you. This guy comes after Jerry Seinfeld every two days. What do you do? For you. For you.

Because of your story. Yeah. That's the look I do not care. I'm not a Seinfeld. Gerald? Gerald, why? Jerome. Jerome.

I don't care if you don't want to talk about it. I do. My show. Sure. No, I'm just saying. I don't care. Because I think it's funny that you can't make fun of a sketch on

SNL. That you have to pretend that every sketch that they do is fuck it. You're so high. No, I'm just saying. You look like you're about to cry. Making fun of it, doing like a, like, that's whatever, but it was directly calling it garbage, which is like, that's not really making fun. It's trashing it. Yeah. And that's in which I also think this is that was one of the worst sketches ever. It was awful. It was absolutely awful. Everybody can agree with that.

But it's like, Chad, you know, he's looking at, at the internet, I guess it's a, it's the weakest. His special is coming out. So he saw it, responded, all that shit. It's just like it escalates. And then these idiots get involved meaning the listeners and fans. What was that? What was that? I mean, Elvis. No, I had. He turns away from the mic to breathe.

I had a lot of the honey from the green tea just creep back up my throat. I'm not sure if you have your childhood in the farm. He went like this. He's like, you know, the whole thing was shaped. Yeah, that tasted like my dad's honey. No, it just like the whole thing is just the internet's swell about it and it becoming a point of interest to me is like I just I Don't I like it when two comics go at it Publicly, it's I just I love Jay, I love Tim, but it's so funny to see these guys,

I mean, who should be like, dude, we won. No, we won. Yeah. I don't mind, I don't mind. I don't mind seeing comedians fighting, what I think is like embarrassing, is when people are tweeting, like comedians are tweeting about the feud

of other comedians being like, here's the inside joke about this and you go, what are you even, Mike's leaving the show? It's like what are you even doing? That you think that your audience that follows you wants to know where you stand on the Tim Dillon, Michael Chase. I agree with that point.

A tweaking. Getting involved in the actual war of it on social media is gay. Yes, Scopo. Is gay. Can you do it? No, we did it. Scopo sent any 11 or 12 tweets about it. No.

He's live. He waiting. Your boy. Like I want to fall. That sketch is good, my ass. Look, I think it's funny. You're lucky I'm here. I know. I looked right at you for that.

I think it's funny that these guys are doing it. I know both of them. I think it's hilarious that they're fucking Twitter fighting, which replaced, look, when I was growing up, you fought. You just went and found somebody, and you took a beating from them, or you fucking gave a beating back. And then somehow you became friends again,

after physically assaulting John. I don't understand it, it's the rocky thing. You know, I love you, Paulo, me too, you owe me one, okay. It brings you closer to someone. It's why it is fighting a friend. Fighting somebody, not even a friend I thought guys that I didn't like and then at the end of the fight We were like a man and you help each other out there is something my first fight

I have became best friends with the kid that I got into my first fight with in elementary school We do one him no really yeah, it's quick. Oh really what'd you do to him? You fucking put a headlock on him? He thought I stole his, like, his little, like, the Chinese football, the little, like, paper thing. Did you flick in? He thought I stole it and he was shoving me. And then I, uh, and then I went to turn around and he punched me in the back of the head. And so I turned around and I punched him. I've never hit any, to this day, never hit anybody more squarely. And he, he thankfully only had to take one step back and there was a garbage pile there.

And he fell in the garbage pile where his butt only his butt was in it. And it was like a cart, it was the greatest day of my life. And then we both went to the principal's office and cried hysterically. And then the next day we had to eat lunch in the principal's office. And he was excreaming the day we went there.

And the second day we were all eating quietly lunch, and then the principal at the end of the meal goes, so you guys friends again, and he goes, and we were like, yeah, actually, we had a lot of that. And then like we became such friends after that. It was so weird. I don't know what it was.

It's something about fighting the physical comment when you get to the end of it. There's resum respect, but it's instinctual. It's something that just happens. I remember the first, one of the first fights I ever had was with this black kid Eddie, thin kid. And I was like, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna. Eddie Gordo from Tekken.

He was white. Eddie Gordo was black. Was black. Eddie threw leg kicks into cheating. It was awesome. I did not think that he'd get on the Tekken. He was white. Eddie Gordo was black. He was black. And he threw leg kicks into cheating. It was awesome. I did not think it is. It is. Get on the Tekken. It was cheating. It was cheating. It was cheating. Anybody got any. It was the white guy with blonde hair. I think the Iraq. I think the big surprise here is that you knew what the yeah. And it's like Delseem and Street Fighter where you just crouch in the

other corner into the long punch. Guys, listen, you understand that after sets back in the day, we'd all go back to me and Billy's apartment and play Tekken to four in the morning with Keith, Patrice. Never in the middle of the morning. I mean, all of us would go up there and we'd be screaming and yelling until literally four in the morning. And then we'd go have breakfast.

I mean, if you took Eddie, you're a fucking piece of garbage. I took Eddie every time. Of course you did, because you're the Kepawera. Yeah, that's your, that's not Kepawera. It's cheating. It's a leg kick, leg kick, leg kick. Yeah, it is a button basher. It's a, but I knew how to use him.

You know, did, you know, do that. Let's down right square. You know, Eddie, you know, my wife. She did. Yeah, women like women like Eddie. I don't believe there's any strong, very nice woman! Wow, Bobby's really living in the past, like Eddie. Me liven in the fucking past, beating the shit out of Eddie's fucking... Sorry.

Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Imagine you just caught Bobby and I, he was making this up about Eddie Gordo. No, but I fought that kid going back to that because these potheads just go off on tangents.

It's fun though to go on it sometime. It was, it was a good one. I like that one. I was actually pretty good. I never would have knew that about you in Patrice. I mean, that's... No, it was fucking really beautiful time. I went with it until he annoyed me and then I wanted to throw up in his face, which usually

was what happens with fucking sagalow. I'll take long. No, but I fought this kid, Eddie, and he would not go down. And I gave him everything. And he would just get back up. And to the point where I was like, dude,

is this something up with you? Like I literally said that to him, I go, I've hit you with everything and you just keep coming back. And I got to the point where, and he would hit me, but he was so thin, it didn't hurt. But I would hit him and it should have knocked him out of, he was just get back up and then we just became friends. We went up shaking hands and we went and got a Dunkin' Donuts,

a donut together back when Dunkin' Donuts was Dunkin' Donuts. And we went in and got a donut together and we, I walked him home. And more they took this country from us. Well, Dunkin' Donuts back in the day for donuts. Yeah. Now they call Dunkins because it's not any donuts in there. The donuts are the day. Back in the day was they made the fucking donuts there.

Did anybody have any donuts? Are they fresh? Should we get donuts after this? Huh? Should we get donuts after this? Well? Should we get donuts after this? They have, I can't do donuts, but we shake. So go to donut pub, you ever go to donut pub? Yeah, those are big though.

Those are, it's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Like bowling. Yeah, why would you want a fucking big donut? Hey, everybody then overcomplicate the donut. Just keep it like a Christmas Eve. They have red-doughnut. Oh, that, what is this? It's a prompter. It's a past bar. It was the awesome. It, that is a crumb your in the ass.

It was the awesome beginning of that said. I ain't like that. Who the fuck wants a big one? Who doesn't want a fucking great donut? That's anything you want. It's not a donut category. It's a great dessert. Can we just add this donut?

Power, you paused. What was it? I thought it was a rage I have power you pause what was you Because you are the rage I have for you Would you You guys just move me in there Nicole just fucking cut out the YKW and put your logo on the back She can't wait to get rid of me and just fucking you guys in there All right, is it is the studio gonna be bequeathed to us once you pass?

No, you guys are gonna have to get your, you're gonna have to drive to We Lockin. No, but there is something about fighting. What was the fight you got into? Maybe like eight, nine years ago. Oh, you had the the beer guy. What beer guy on the street? What are you talking about? I'm telling your story. Please from New York comedy club. You're leaving. It's like one of your good ones He's just a mom. I don't know why you're dying. I get into a lot of fights, you know, but you were gonna say eight years

I live adventurously You know so Brenda. I'm always in a bar fight. Listen He has no he doesn't have the ability to listen. I know he literally just shits out of his mind No, I'm just trying to be funny, you know, no, you try to be nice Let's find a be funny trying I'm trying to cue you up. What is your just remind me? He's been reminding you for a minute.

You've been looking that way doing act outs. He really is. I have a fan base over here. Can it is your fan base? Their guy. So what happened? What did he do? Was he in the crowd?

No, dude. You're walking on the street. It was being loud. He threw they threw a beer can down Oh, but that was in a fight. That was this close to a fight though What happened what had happened was I was walking with two two people Over a can and he got disgusted. Why he disgusted? Because I said, okay, so what had happened was we were walking down the street and I was kind of going through it mentally as we all are. Why do you always have to go gay? I'm just trying to put you into it, you know. Put me into it as you feel his sadness. Yes. And let me say I'm a story Teller. He had just eaten Burger King for the third time that day.

It makes sense. I was getting ready to go walk through the drive-through later that night. Yeah, you walk through the drive-through. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I used to do that all the time. Yeah. Your weight is so much that it's a car. Yeah. Then go. Yeah I don't even get, it's just a family inside of me. I got it. I got it. I gotta say all my jokes to this. Yeah, I get some of them too, but it's not. Oh, I didn't like it.

You are actively not laughing. I love you. You're my favorite out of the three. Ooh. That's the lie you always say we tell him. All right. That's what he believes the general we tell him. All right. That's what he believes the general consensus is. Oh, why don't believe that?

You said it out loud. No, yeah, because I'm kidding. It's a joke. Oh, it goes, it goes canon. You didn't even know what camera to look at. What's camera do I winged at? How did you just say? What's camera do I winged at?

Camera four? I mean, if you're gonna talk over each other, I'm not gonna repeat myself. You guys have no concept. It's like you lost the ability to podcast. Brendan, I don't understand. You do your show, it's fine. On my show, you're just yapping over each other.

We do that on our show. I know, it's terrible. Listen. Oh. So, I'm walking down the street. I'm feeling bad. I'm with two people who don't really know me that well. One person I met that night.

And then these two dudes One tall one Small like me and Fini walking down the sidewalk there. They got this big like 12 rack of That long island beer Montaugh beer and they're holding in their laughing. Ha ha and one's got a beer in his hand. Where are they wearing? Why does that matter? Because I'm curious about there. If they deserved it.

Okay, they were wearing like open button ups. Okay. And one had like a tight, the little one had like a tight sweater on. It's a summer. This was summer, yeah. Okay. So.

Was it dark? It was dark out. I thought you know, this is too many details. I was never there. Oh, he said, I was making 13,000 a year. You know, he's told this story to us before. Yeah. This is why I wait better.

I was more passionate about it last time. This time I feel forced. But what, what, so there's boat shoes? Why are you letting them get you out of the story? Look at this. Hey, why saglo, look at me. Shake it off. He's protesting comedy. Look at me. Hey, why saggo look at me shake it off. He's protesting comedy. Look at me. Shake it off. You finished the

store. You got this. Okay, don't let them fucking do this. Yeah, don't let the fact that it hasn't been interesting up until now. Deter you from ending this with a crushing it's going to listen. Doesn't have to be I want let's get serious. Let's get serious. I want to get serious. Fini, shave the mustache. I got it. Brad didn't lose the weight, all right?

Oh, come on. That ain't the... That ain't the... My box. Anyway, I'm walking down the street. These guys, they come up, they're one's holding the beer and he fucking pretends to like hit the girl that we were with. And so I go, so they're walking down the street

and I go, hey, motherfucker. And thinking the guy's gonna not do anything and he turns around, this guy that's holding the 36 rack of Montauk beer throws it to the ground and comes straight at me and I was like, ah shit, I gotta do this now. And the girl that I was with was like freak the fuck out. And then he comes out to me, we walk up and he, I actually stood at him like, because I've

been stuck in. Right. And it went nose ring to nose ring. I've actually been sucker punched before in that scenario. So I went, all right, if we're fighting and I went like this and I'm just holding and he's like laughing at me for fucking holding my best out of it so embarrassing.

Oh, you did the fucking Steve Burns logo? Yeah, exactly. And the fighting Irish. Yeah, and he's going, what are you doing? And I'm like, let's fucking go. Let's go. He's like, no. And his friend is is like you guys were just talking about taking troops I was like, what is that matter and then um, he said what are you doing?

I also had just lost 20 pounds and he was he just started calling me fat And I was like I haven't lost enough. I did say to him. He went yeah You're fat and I went not as much as before You said that. Big laugh. You said that? Yeah, I told you that. I know. In the moment?

No, I didn't get a laugh, but no way I got a laugh. I laughed at it. I was, I was, I was, you laughed at your own joke squared off. Not as much as before, but I relate to that. I relate to that. I was walking out losing weight and I went by a tranny late at night at transsexual. Excuse me. And I thought she was going to be like, hey, you saw, you know, what's up? She went, boppy, you fat.

I went home and told my wife I was so sad. Yeah. If you want to, if you want to know if you've lost enough weight, where you're not considered fat, just get into an altercation with somebody. And if their first thing isn't, you fat, you fat fuck, then you hit go back to the gym. You're not there yet. Go back to the gym you're not there yet go back to the gym yeah yeah the roast was all fat things yeah I noticed that I was like come on he's got some other stuff he's got some other problems also a terrible person yeah yeah so yeah yeah so my brow is still there yeah yeah my like a It's really, it glistens in the light. And yeah, it's terrifying.

It makes you look like a villain. Yeah, I like it. It's my life. Why don't you get rid of it? Because my lucky eyebrow, good things happen when it's here. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, I'm into that.

I need a lucky thing. That's the, that's the, you have it. You're lucky, Exima. Yeah. You do have, you have the two talented comedians. Actually. Thing one and thing two. You're so lucky.

They're hard workers. Someday for you to just ride in the cat. You've my one last time you got a fight. Probably, I mean, we almost got into a fight a few years ago. With a booker of a room. Really? of fight. Uh, probably, I mean, we almost got into a fight a few years ago, uh, uh, at, uh, with a booker of a, of a room. Really? Yeah. It was, uh, it, not, I won't say because you remember the name. No, I don't, but it was, uh, it was upstate a little bit. It was near a, or a lake or something like that. It was fucking, it was St. Patrick's day.

And we got hired to do this gig. They're a lake. Yeah, upstate. Upstate, yeah. A restaurant. It's a restaurant. Oh, was it James? No, no, no, no. You wouldn't even know this person. It's a total one-off. Like, I don't think that it certainly shouldn't have become a thing after we were there.

But, were you there? I was not there. Were you there? Yeah. Yeah, I was opening. Did he square off like this? So we did two shows, right? Which the first show was awesome. Yeah packed like sold out

Whatever with corn, beef and cabbage. They gave us a few beers like we were having a great time the night All night is off to a killer start. Yeah second show. There's like nine people Brendan is immediately heckled Dehumanized disrespected. They're all turning, yeah, they're like turning their back to them like fuck you like shit like that. Like it was like brutal. Yeah. And you had a headline? And I had a headline.

So Brendan being like a good, a good opener, he tried to do, he did like fucking 35 minutes because he's like, I want to get them there. I want to like, at least get in half. Mike's like, take your time. Oh, I'm literally in the back just straight. Yeah. There's a, take your time. Oh, I'm literally in the back just straight out. Yeah. There's a problem.

Keep going. So Brennan is eating dog shit while just being humiliated by these people. Are you energetic too? At the time I probably was. He definitely was and he also didn't like, now I've seen him snap on people. He was still trying to win them over over which was nice because he's opening He's not supposed to like have the right what I do So then I he eventually brings me up

I'm immediately livid because of them because of what they did to him I make mention of it. They are the exact same to me Nine minutes in and several times I'm like guys like I'll fucking leave like this means nothing again load so I'll get the fuck out of here but I and they're just like doing the same shit turning their back saying fuck you all this stuff and at 11 minutes I go you know what suck my dick fuck all of you and I got off stage walked out and then the owner of the place goes hey man what the fuck was it this, hey man, what the fuck was it? This is outside and I go, what the fuck was that? And he got in my face and I got in his face. And I was like, he was an intimidating guy.

Like he's definitely been in scraps, but he was an older dude and he was like, trying to tough talk me as if I was just a pussy and I was like, I've done this. Like I'll fight ya, I don't care, I'm really pissed off. I'm fucking livid. You left me up to dry, you let these people fucking, fucking pieces of shit to both of us. Like fuck you, dude. And so he would, I guess somebody well, I'm sitting at the bar and I'm just like eating, you know, I'm just going like,

definitely, definitely either eating our drinking or my ass like, whoo, probably. As a fat guy, I know you ran a surprise. Oh, yeah, come for food. Some type of figure food. You're dipping your corn beef in jaymasa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his wife, like, typically comes up to me and she's like, she said it in a way that I was like, who picked us up and drove us there? Yeah, from so you don't have a car. Exactly.

So we're out there. And she comes up to you. You're about to fight her husband. Yeah, and she's like, I think they're fighting. That's like how she said it to a poor guy. Uh-oh, okay, and I like stood up and I had to like slowly walk outside because I didn't know if she was like, are they?

And they are. I immediately walk out him and the owner are nose to nose. Yeah. Like screaming at each other and a couple of his friends like walked over and were like, what's up? I was like, I'll fuck everybody. Like I was just out like screaming at each other. And a couple of his friends walked over and were like, what's up? I was like, I'll fuck everybody. Like I was just out of my mind.

I was so pissed off that I was like, I'll fuck everybody up in this parking lot. I was like, who the fuck wants to go? I literally was like out of my mind, dude. And then Brendan came in and this is credit to Brendan while I'll always have his back. Is he immediately physically stepped in the way and was like, shut like, what the fuck, chill out,

who the fuck wants it, like both like chill out, do you escalate, but also I'm fucking throwing hands too if this shit happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, he had already paid us. And they're not gonna hit a woman, so. Yeah, that's a good move. Oh my God, that was, we should take a shot.

He was wearing his helmet at the time, which made him see I Followed by daddy. How did it how did it deescalate? So it didn't I mean it just kept escalating and I had all the cash in my hand and I was like so Loona I was a lunatic. I was like he paid you before yeah, and he said something like I shouldn't even be paying you for that one and Mike was like Mike goes, okay fine. I won't take any of your money any reason you I'll peg you in the face with your fucking Yeah, and he reaches into his pocket and I was like Oh

I All you wait on is not all right I was I was being such a fucking idiot that I would have absolutely you he would have thrown a knot of cash just right in his face So whatever so imagine that I would be like start picking up the money. I'll take it sir Yeah, we could just set it you didn't do the act out well then I'll just wrap my 50 and There's a My your that is a fucking star my Wow my young Jedi hole

Maybe you know that was a good act Those is like you were actually going down the Areas for my act outs, okay? People want to see the act out. Yeah, they're called the blind that need to put their ear to the floor to hear the red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It already put it out there. I thought you're going to be in the garden. I was going to see you. So so what? So he leaves. So the guy like, I don't know how it gets broken up, but it eventually like

comes to the point where we're like, we're fucking out of here. Like I was going to call an uber but his wife again. I was 11 I think my 50. He has a water pen. I was gonna say my 50. Excuse me. It's candy thousands of flowing through a parking lot because he's a rage monster. I'm actually asking for change. Rage monster should be an album, man.

That's great. Thank you for that. So, this new merch. So, we get, it gets de-escalated somehow. We get separated and just the fight is not gonna happen. It just didn't happen. And his wife again walks quietly over and is like, I'll drive you boys home.

Oh, she did. And she you boys home. She did. And she drove us home. How many hours? Like an hour. So it's not that far up. Not that far up. Pickybsy. No.

But we were screaming. No, it wasn't. On what side of the river? I don't remember. Way more like upstate feeling. Like it's all woods. Yeah. But either way.

No, so we are. Will you tell me after? I don't know it. Yeah. Oh, so you do know. I could pull it up. Yeah, but either way, no, so we are so you tell me after I don't know it. Yeah Yeah, oh, so you do know I could pull it up. Yeah, you could go to Facebook memories Everyone on the internet Ken no, no, I know what I actually went back and deleted it because I was asked to because I told the story on Irish goodbye Now you know I'll never asked you. Yeah, so you're a few people did. So you're coming back with the wife. You're in the back seat, hopefully, right? I am.

Brendan's in the front. I was shocked. Of course. Yeah. And two girls just talking on the way. And I'm pretty sure, did we have a, did we have a bottle of whiskey or something like that? That was the bee.

That was a bee. We went right to a bar in a store. Oh, but in the car, but in the car for an hour, this woman had to actively listen to us trashing her husband. What was she saying? She was just quiet while we were calling him an unreasonable piece of shit. She didn't say yes to the public. Right?

She was just like, literally just kind of allowed us to be afraid of us. She was just, no, she was think, she was like a, nothing this gray haired fucking lunatic. Just crashed. We were gonna fight him. It was gonna fight a parking lot over a husband's friends and then give the money back. Take the money.

Come on. I don't care. Now he's in the back seat. Yeah. Just pinging back and forth like an animal in a cage. Yeah. An angry panther scratching at the bad as he got back. She's got a shabby sister in the front seat in Fry. Yeah. I know. I know.

So we were screaming for a full hour, trashing her husband. She's being kind and just letting us, giving us space to express our rage. And then we went to a bar. Who'd we meet up with? No. Oh, it might have been scopo. I think it might have been scopo. We went to a bar. Who'd we meet up with? No, oh, it might have been scopo. I think it might have been scopo. We went to a stone. No, it's one of them. But we drank a shitload of whiskey. And I didn't feel anything like it was one of the, I've had a couple of these where if like I've drank a shitload enough to put me down. Yeah. And I'm burning hot with so much rage that I'm actually sober. I, my memory disagrees because I feel like we got tuned up by what? By the alcohol.

Oh, not by the guys. No. Oh, no, we, if anything, we saved that man. I was kidding. Oh, he would have got, you can't have one of these to shoot at him. He was, he was smaller than he was. I'm asking him. We would have, it would have been a good fight.. We would have. It would have been a good fight.

No, can it. It would have been a good fight. I know I fight. I used to fight. It would have been a good fight. I fight you now. I'm almost ready to go. You know what?

Here's a problem. I'm not. I'm not. I don't bring that energy to me. I think I'm ready to go in my head. But then I like I'll lift something for my wife and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll fight someone my age. I'll last like 30 seconds.

And then pull a hammy. My shoulder would aptly tear the first overhand. Oh, yeah. Dude, as long as it did, if they're my high, my size, less fighting ability than me. So I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah, fight a woman. Any woman in the third day. Fini will fight Tignitaro. I'm ready. Yeah, I'll fight a woman. Any woman in the third day.

Fini will fight Tignitaro. I am boxing tomorrow though. Yeah. I'm doing boxing. I'm starting that up again. Nice. That was great. Well, it's funny to me.

It would be great. How great would it be if Tim Dillon and Jay fought? I'd see the only way to end this. You see Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, me and Fries and Jay walk up. Would you, what the fuck's up, motherfucker? They just get up and started beating the shit up. We'll put it on.

They'd triller. Yeah, Tim would be too tired to fight and Chey would be too drunk. It would just be a fucking guy resting and another guy swinging in the air. It's funny that the fights can happen to me between friends, comics, on social media, out in the fucking open. I mean, to critique some stupid show, who gives a fuck, dude? Some of the skits are gonna suck, some of them are gonna be great.

I mean, not every, you know, whatever, whatever, dude, but to cav it out on that realm, I gotta think that they like it. I have to think that they, Jay, well, because he can always just go out and just fucking around, sorry. And back the fuck out, he does not give a fuck. Well, they both have huge audiences

and they're both saying each other's names. Like, there's gonna be, it's like cross promotion. Yeah. It's a weird, it is riling the retads, but it is also like helping. It is both saying, they're both saying that each other is very funny. Yeah. Which is hilarious to prep us.

Which is the very, the insults of very Hollywood. Yeah. You know what I mean? Look, he's very humble. He's very nice guy and I love his words. He's a sweetheart. Fight him. No, it's like, yeah, man, he makes $180,000 a year.

I mean, he's good at what he does. God bless me. He has a great career, but I mean, whatever. What? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, I kind of wish that it was back in the day. Where they'd like a missed fight.

Yeah, like, I mean, to be honest with you, I miss bullies. I miss them. When was your last fight? Kevin Brennan? It wasn't a fight. So how do you miss bullies. I miss him. When was your last fight? Kevin Brennan? It was in a fight. How do you miss bullies when you're around one all the time? Are you calling him around one or are you saying he's around the bullie? Well, that's a thing. You calling him around a bully? Yeah. But a bully to me, like, like you call, like the nerds call me a bully to me, like, the nerds call me a bully, but I'm really not.

Yeah. Were you planning on him when he's all three of you? Yeah, you're all gone. I don't know if that happened to describe any of us. Well, no, like Joe Lista said it. You can see that, no. There's been a couple of people like that. It's like you guys calling somebody a bully now

is like calling somebody a pedophile. I mean, it has this almost the same ramifications on social media or in a social setting. You say you're a bully. And it's almost like, okay, to me a bully is somebody who's physically going to hurt you and physically make you, like come up to you and make you coward. Yeah, isn't pedophile with the ultimate bullying?

Thank you. Even though. But, I mean, you were making a point. I don't think you were trying to be funny, which is easy. I was doing both. Oh, well, you failed it once. I was doing point comedy.

But I do miss, I miss those guys. But is, I miss that because there are no consequences for what you say anymore. There is no, I've gotten slapped in the face for being an idiot. I've gotten beat the fuck up from just talking, just being a dickhead. Being reckless.

Well, no, for being a dickhead to somebody, walking up to somebody and saying, an act like an asshole, and somebody cracking me, and me going in front of, barrisking me in front of everybody, and me having to go, hey man, check yourself. And I know that's stupid, I get it, but there was something to be said about that.

Now, anybody can say anything about anybody, and nobody is gonna do shit. I mean, people make fun of you and embarrass you because you don't know what to do using the fucking sentence. Or what you're, how to spell you. It's like, and they shame you. And it's like, there's these fucking nerds

that will make you, when I could, you know, certain people could just, like a Dante could just grab you by the neck and fucking choke you until you cry and say sorry. But you can't do that anymore. You can't that thing, that physical threat is gone because you know what I mean? It's gotta say I'm pretty happy to hear that. You know, you should be.

Why would I want to be attacked? Because you're an asshole. You should be punched for that mustache. If there's one thing an asshole doesn't like it's being punched My ass all like being puns if we were in high school right now, I'd fucking shave it off my Friend's I get you so much detention. I know you would I would like it. I'd like it you a tattletail We become friends. No, they would see me weeping near my locker and ask what's wrong? I'd be forced to tell them. Blood, dots, upper lip.

Yeah. Mike, what happened? I mean, look. Hey, shapes, it's a close with a ship. We did a good job. They used to pick. I mean, he used his pick. He used an old pick.

I, those are the worst. I hate bullies like when I see a kid being abused by another kid. Like, I was bullied as a kid. I bullied. I did. I admit it. Like I was bullied as a kid. I bullied. I did. I admitted. When I was drinking, I did some terrible shit

because I was around pieces of shit. And I was just doing, if I didn't do it, I got hit. Where was that other thing you did? That was the type of kids that I hung out with. Like if I didn't, I got punched by my best friend in the face because I didn't treat this other kid like shit. I was I didn't, I got punched by my best friend in the face because I didn't treat this other kid like shit. I was like, dude, leave him alone.

What, and I just punched me in the face. Whoa. I mean, I hung out with some fucking disturbed people. I don't know, I mean, some real, I hung out with really tough, crazy, mentally ill abused motherfuckers back in the day. So, like I don't like that shit, but I've done stupid shit.

I've taken kids stuff and it's like, I became that thing and it bothers me to see that. But, you know, there is no accountability anymore. Like, you can just say whatever you want about anybody. And there's no fear of confrontation. Well, there's no fear of it because, yeah, nobody confronts everybody much. It's on this.

So it doesn't really go, but when you don't yell, what's that? You don't yell. The yelling is when people take out their phones. What you do is just pretend you don't hear somebody. And oh my god. Oh, this is cum keeps coming. I know.

And then hit them before a scene is made. But if you hit somebody now, you do the old goodwill hunting, and then you put on the hood and you walk out. I mean, you have to be a ninja. You can go to jail. I mean, you go, I mean, yeah, like, that's a problem with fighting.

Which is it? Which is, and look at, in reality, it's a great thing. People don't physically hurt anybody. I get it. I understand that. It's a great thing that People don't physically hurt anybody. I get it. I understand that. It's a great thing That people don't physically hurt, but there was something To be said when you know when if you say something to the wrong person You might get cracked. I would lie if I would be saying that that doesn't, that definitely must give me some confidence.

Well, also, because even if I was getting my ass kicked, I would have that part of me that would be laughing, if not outside the inside being like the Joker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm laughing thinking of like, dude dude every blow that you land on me is another $40,000 that I'm about to get.

And I'm going to take it, I'm going to take it from your fucking family. That's crazy. That's what I'm going to take. To me, that's a bully. My rage wouldn't even let me think of that. I'm, I need to beat this. I'm three years ahead out of court when they have exhausted all funds and have to use public defense. You have a viable wardrobe. Smile from the courtroom.

That was disturbing. It's him and him song. We know. We know. It was like, I know it was it was not M&M. It was somebody who eats M&M's. Yeah, it's Skittles. Jesus Christ, I like water. I bet you do. No, but like you'd have to kill him. What do you mean? What do you mean? You'd have to kill him.

You know what I mean? Like, if me and you thought I would be, we'd fight it be over. You win, I win. It would be done. Yeah, let's be fine. I'd never stop either way. Yeah, I would probably feel like shit.

Him, it would be over very quickly. Yeah, because I fine. I'd probably stop either way. I would probably feel like shit. I him, it would be over very quickly. Yeah, because I'd fucking break your nose. Right. And you wouldn't be able to see and you'd go, Wait, wait, wait, wait. One thing he, he feel, oh my god, I have a show on my face. I'd be like, all right, forget it. Are you kidding?

I think I would look super cool with a black guy. Fini. You want one? No, but I'm very willing to accept that. Fini, you'd have to kill. Hearing what he just said, every punch is a 40 grand. That's, then you immediately buy one of those blue barrels from Breaking Bad and you're freaking to a high school high school high school.

I'm glad you're bearing it. And you write a check for that at $300,000. You put it in with a, then he hears blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That would be a great revenge on me. To put the check in there, just let the acid take it. Yeah. I would like to see you guys on court TV together.

That would be cool. I was on with Ricky Vales in like, oh, not what? You found him. No, we were on street court, Judge Mazz. It was me and Ricky Vales. We did a, yeah, court case. Did you sue him? No, he sued me because it was like, we made up a case, like Eric Hansen, the manager

and fucking Broadway, just had an in with this show. And I think this judge thought it was like a legitimate thing. And Ricky was suing me because I always blacked out and left him with the bill. And I left him with like a $400 bill so he was suing to recoup. And while we were telling him the story, the judge was like legitimately livid that we were clearly wasting his time. And being fucking idiots, but I was just not breaking eye contact, being a sociopath and sticking to the story the whole time.

I just watched today, Michael. Is there a comic that you, and you don't have to tell me it is, but is there a comic you'd like to fight and beat the shit out of? Yeah, really there's more comics I'd like to beat the shit out of than friends I have. Are you kidding? It also is momentarily. It's like it's like moment to moment. You know what I mean? It doesn't even I don't I'm trying to practice. There is no comic that I would want to beat the shit out of. No kidding. There's no comic, and I don't know if this is age or whatever. I'm trying to think back. Maybe back when I first moved to the city, there was a couple people that I would like

to fucking straighten out. But there's no comic right now who I'd like to beat the shit out of. Maybe it's because I don't care. But that's interesting, you say that you said there's many. I can't pitch you guys wanting to beat the shit up. Maybe it's because I don't care. But that's interesting, you say that you said as many. I can't pitch you guys wanting to beat the shit out of something. I don't see myself in a... You I can. It's just dormant.

Don't you want to hit everyone? Like, I don't know. I walk around like with all these, but it's a joke to me. It's not even like reality. I definitely want to, I just walk around. I'm like, yeah, I just want to throw haymakers at every face that I see.

That's psychotic. That is literally a mental patient in the subway. I mean, I can't believe you just... That's all of our biggest fears. Just to see someone... I won't do it. Yeah, I think he's... I'm a pussy.

You're always constantly, like, joining a gang. Yeah, you're playing the hot game. Yeah, you're jumping the world in. Yeah. Fuck is that? No, do you want to just throw hay game. Yeah, you're jumping the world in. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck is that? No, do you want to just throw haymakers at every face you see? No.

No, I picture a nice, what? What, what, what was he saying? I was saying, I picture more, instead of a ground in pound situation, I picture a nice like that one, one bat to the back of the head sort of. That would hurt your rule. Oh, you want to kill somebody? No. I mean, there's a 50, 50 chance, but I'm like, No, 50, 50. If you hit them in the back of the head sort of hurt. Oh, you want to kill somebody? No, I mean, there's a 50-50 chance, but I'm like,

50-50? Yeah, if you hit them in the back of the fucking head. Was it dead? Yeah, dude, a bat to the back of the hair? Yeah, that'll be a way. And then walk the other way. Yeah, that's alcohol. Drop the bat.

Yeah, that's murder. That's the way it works. But I don't want to do that to stranger. That's what it is that I just said. You want to do that to everyone. You want to do that to everyone. You want to do that to everyone. There's a select few that would make the list. It would be nice to just, it's like my version of American gangster.

It's just walking up a shooting on my street, but instead it's the, they never see it coming. It's quick, painless lights out. All it is, I just want people to know that they should respect me or I'll slap the shit out of them. That you want to wear a shirt. I don't want to fight. And there's nobody I want to fight. I don't want to fight. There's no one I want to fight. I don't know who's more psychotic. The guy who wants to murder somebody with a bat. The guy who wants to just hit random people.

I just make sure it. I don't want to. Or you show me some guy. You just want to just slap him if they disrespect me. I want to slap him if they disrespect me. That's scarier to me. We all have it. I know.

Well, I said that to Alan and he was like, you gotta break this sympathy. He's like, sympathy with the group. I haven't ever had like fan ideas. Why? I was just talking about my power and respect. Respect really and just being like,

when like, someone respect you, Chris Gopo. One of the many. I mean, I would be lying if every time he busts my balls, I wasn't like, fuck you, dude. Chris would kick your ass. I did, yeah, maybe.

Oh, yeah, actually he would, because he's been working out. Yeah, he killed you. No, he's got like a death star button in his asshole that I would fucking, he'd explode. What is it? A death star button that I would eat. What does that mean?

I said he would forcefully finger scopos asshole in the middle of a fight. Yeah, that would detonate him. Yeah. You know, part of it would be to get inside of his asshole. There was only one shot just like this. Just like the death. His ass is so big, once you get in the general vicinity,

it's gravity sucks you into a thassal. Yeah. And as it's own, and as it's own moon. Yeah. Skopo has a new high home mode. Yeah, when he pees it. It's low tide. That's weird.

And you really, there's a couple people that you know. When he pees, it's low tide. When he pees, he's the, hey, don't, don't, don't do that. Don't you do that when I'm looking for clarity. Yeah, dude, you stink and let it, oh my God't you do that what I'm looking for clarity. Yeah, dude you stink and let oh my god You physically I'm physically hungry. I was a is he one of the guys you want a fucking hit Is he one of the guys you want to hit and in this moment? Yeah, I would like to smack the mustache right out of all fights I'm gonna rip your nose ring out with my no I would never hurt these guys I love them you've never wanted to hit one of them

No, you've never wanted to fight in the Look at me. It's not like me. Physical fight. No, you've never wanted to hit Fanny or be like fuck you No, even in the fantasy world like am I actually this psychotic does not everybody have these feelings and fantasies Constantly we're like, the slightest misunderstanding, or you just feel wrong in any way, you immediately picture him. I wanna say this to you, I wanna say this to you. No.

Yeah, listen, I understand what you're saying. I refuse to believe it. Because you're crazy. I refuse to believe it. No, because you're crazy. You're mentally ill. Yeah, but not for this. Don't you like, like I love having a good time.

I love hanging out. That's hanging out. Time though is like making. It's hurting up there. It's speaking in hyper. And small animals. Yes. And fantasizing hyper.

And small animals. And small animals. And small animals. Yeah, when it's recorded or having, or in a conversation with friends, but when I'm alone and I'm like having these arguments in my head and then it leads to some sort of, I don't want that.

Have you argued in your head? Like out loud? Yeah, I just, somebody that doesn't exist, not someone that doesn't, I'm not schizophrenic. But I've had, I've had an argument with a cab guy that I never met. I've done that. I've been out.

You know, fucking tell me where we're going. Yeah. Like I've done that. I've given myself pep talks for things that don't even exist. I've had it for the playout and argument. Like I should have said this to this person kind of a thing. I'll have this thing that I go. My brain will try to predict what a person will say

if I confront them. And then I create the scenario. And I play out every scenario, but it's not like all the scenarios. It's just like, I'm gonna say this, then they're gonna say that. Right. And I get angry and I see that person and I'm angry.

It's like I had a dream that they cheated on me and then I wake up and I'm like, what the ruck? You know, you're a Puerto Rican woman. How many times have you, have you told SD off? In my dream. Yeah. I've said a lot of, you don't know who I am. This mustache is mine. I'm not shaving it for anything. Can we you or Bobby? We're not. I'm good.

We're not changing the show. That's final. Goddamn it, man. Well, for something you didn't want to talk about, it was pretty interesting. I've had those fantasies, right? But we didn't really talk about Tim and Che, or as I call it, Gavers Che. It fell as... Hey.

Yeah. Ah, it was a good one. But it wasn't. It wasn't. Gavers closer to it was it. It was fine. For him, it was. It was.

It was, like, it was fine. It was fine. For him, it was good. Yeah. No, it wasn't good. But Brennan's funny as hell. Brennan's really funny. We know.

And he gets scared so easily. Canon, we know. The funny he's a kid and we know the part is the high five after we're kidding about him not being funny I was the funny part about it. I'm sorry what is he hired you to stick up for him what the fuck you're right he might as well he sucks I just declined the Venmo request What the fuck is that? He tried to trick me for the bottle cap, but I sworted him I floated with my sword. What the fuck is he?

Heart man part moron Heart theater Yeah, you really don't want to be. You should have been in the theater. You did remind me of a very damaged, vivid image that I had. You're an improv artist. No. You are. You should be doing like, I'm a stand up that's ahead of his time,

who also wraps, and also makes vlogs. You wrap. I put a wrap on here. It's a vlog. What are you talking about? You're talking about kept saying vlogs. You wraps.

I wrap. I make some wrap songs. It's not my, it's like a hobby. I don't understand. Are you being serious? You rap. I rap. I make some rap songs. It's not my, it's like a hobby. I don't understand. Are you being serious? I'm dead serious. I'll send you some. No, I want to play it right now, Nicole.

I need to hear it right now. You were playing it. I want to hear it. What's your name? You know what I'm trying to say. You don't try to say that in the God. I mean, you guys stop over each other. I can't hear you.

Say that in the God. What is it? Say that in the God. But is it? Sag daddy the God. But with a D now that. Yeah. That's your rap name. I was going by Sag daddy for a while, but you added the God.

D-A-G-A-H-D. Can I hear this for you? H-T for you. And this is serious. Yeah. Canon. It's, he's good. Canon.

Yes. Is he good? Yeah. Yeah, he is actually. I'm not trying to make a, it's actually, it makes me jealous that he's good. Can it. Yes. Is he good? Yeah. Yeah, he is actually. I'm not trying to make a. It's actually it's a it makes me jealous that he's able to do it because it's something I'd like to do just for funsy and I have no ability whatsoever. Why not? Because I just can I can wrap what other people wrap.

I can't write it. I don't understand it. I just can I hear this Nicole. Yeah, I'm pulling. It's a fun thing. You know, I was actually talking to Julio Galarotti because he does it too Oh, you know Julio you know Julio. He's bound the show. Oh, yeah, Julio and we were he was just talking He's like no, I went to get my my testosterone check today and it's zero

No, no, she she actually check she she made me pull my nuts out. Whoa, for what? She checked my nuts. What she say, these are discussed. She said, sir, don't eat almonds in here. She's like, didn't think you'd do it, put them back. Yeah, pussy. Yeah, she got like this.

I told you, do it. Now we're gonna throw a blood. She. I told you to do it. Now we're gonna draw blood. I don't know, it was just out of the blue. She was asking me, do you, this and that? I was like, no, yes, no. She goes, when you test your own, it's low,

but it's not low, low. I mean, it's just a little low. That's great that it's low. 51, you can get testosterone. And I was like, okay, and she goes, when was last time you had a testicle check? And I was like, I don't know, I can get testosterone. And I was like, okay, and she goes, when was the last time you had a testicle check? And I was like, I don't know, I don't remember. That's why I'm here.

My testosterone, I can't remember anything. And then she goes, let me see, pull you just pull your pants down. And I pulled my pants down, and I tried to fluff up. In your mind? In front of her. With your hand? I, you jerked off in front of her

No, have you been on the floor? Louis corner I instinctually listen to me In sync. Oh god. He's growing the goat. He's working off in front of people Somebody saved this man. He's wearing a black shirt. He's wearing a black t-shirt The final time. It's like things are amazing and no one's happy. Yeah, you're the only one that believes in us. Please, don't joe list us. Oh man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm having diarrhea. I, I, I, I don't know, I just listen.

I have, I fucked around in a long time because I'm married. So when I'm, when I'm showing, when I'm showing, some girl says, you know, take your pants down. Yeah. And I know my stim, I have a grower, not a shower. Namely, My instinct is to fluff it up. So I went and I just played the guitar a couple times. In front of her.

And I stopped, I'm like, oh my god, this is a, this is a rock. This is not a girl. This is a doctor that was trying to check. She doesn't want to see my You're strong to feel chords. I did I would like this. I mean good thing you couldn't see and I've stomach anyway But we're just gonna end it on that I mean we're gonna end it on that fucking knife to my What are you checking your phone during the show? I Was and I apologize for that. That's you checking your phone during the show?

I was and I apologize for that. That's it. That's all I want. Boom. I'm done. I'm out. But are you okay though? Anybody has to do that.

What do you mean? What? You like got into how you were about to have, are you getting test? I'm getting tested Monday. You can get free testosterone cover by insurance if you have low testosterone. Yeah dude.

Then you can look like Justin Silver. Then you'll go to the gym and get fucking jacked. But I want my dick back. I want my dick sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I did that. What did she go like, no, thank you. I didn't, I saw her out of my peripheral. So when I went to pull my, she goes, pull you, it happened so fast. I pull, she goes, pull you pants down and pull you pants down. So I was like, okay, and I, so I'm like, okay. And I pulled my pants down and then I pulled my short sound but then I felt my dick was very small. So I just rubbed

it a little bit and then I was like, you can't, she's not, she doesn't care how big your dick is. And then I pulled my pants down all the way and then she checked my shdomakes. Two seconds. Was it, was she hot? Was she in the track? Any woman that's looking at my dick at this point is hot. Is it true? Okay. Yeah, it doesn't matter if you're any you know I'm my fuck my wife tonight. Hell yeah. Yeah I'm really fucking wanting right now. That's exciting Sorry for looking at you in the eyes. Maybe you don't need the pills or oh I did you had him you you

Second, man. I'm telling you you fight for that. You should try to get it. How do you have to take it forever, right? So. Yeah. Taking something forever sucks. I'm gonna wake up, take those pills. You're gonna have to at some point soon. Not, not, no.

You should have took them when you were 12. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. The S. I wish. The estrogen really took over his, yeah, all of a sudden, Brendan grows eyebrows. That is, I'm growing, I'm growing, I'm growing, I'm growing. Yeah, all of a sudden, Brendan grows eyebrow. That is, I'm growing.

I'm growing all my, yeah, because I've won eyebrow going like this. Your face stopped like maturing in high school, which is going to be good for you long-term. I mean, if you knew me in high school, my face has continued to mature. Okay. Guess we'll just end it on a fun, serious medical thing then. Yeah. Why are you begging him, man? I don't know. It's fun. It's fun to. Yeah. Why are you making him mad? I don't know, it's fun.

It's fun to do that. I don't know. If Fini's saying he's not visualizing punching Brendan in the face for that moment, then I just don't believe him. I don't believe him. You wanted to hit him. No, you made me think of a very vivid one

that I remembered from high school. Let's hear it. I don't know if we have time. Say it on the Patreon. Actually not fast. Let's do it on the don't know if we have time. They don't the Patreon. Actually not fast. Let's do it on the Patreon. Okay. That's really long or that.

Well listen guys, I fucking love you guys. I mean you guys are like, it's a tornado. I have to be honest. It really is. I mean you're just yap. You look exhausted. I'm, because do three individually exhaust me you know they mean but all three together it's a fucking literally

uh... hurricane uh... swiss to that hurricane's of comedy and then we just go to florida and other places that have been left why don't you tore the three you why you touring you as a headliner hers as a middle or as a middle- Or as a middleer? Because that's all we're getting offered at the moment. All right, well, that's kind of change.

Okay. You guys should all fuck, but okay. All right, who, but you're the headliner, you're the middle, you're the MC. Why don't we just all, I don't want, no. Why don't you all what? I want to make my own way and be my own headliner. That is going to, that's going to fucking fuck you this up. If you

have an ego and you think that you're the guy and I don't think I'm the guy I think all three of us are the guy. I think that he's the guy right now. I think he's the second guy and you're the third guy and you guys can flip it up but can you close the show after cannon? Look at me. We'll forward to the email. Can you close the show again? We'll forward you. We'll send you a good deal. We'll send you an email.

Can you guys do you and who goes on the creeps with kids? Do you guys always do the same order? Yeah, I go last. I think I can't follow. I guess they could. Would you be opposed to not going last? I would love the sweet spot. Second or third, I would love that spot.

Yeah, but I don't think Bronn Bennington has a problem following anybody. No. Because he is such a... So, not even that he's such a pro, he just knows how to burn, knows how to do it, just take that one, even if I murder,

he knows how to take that one or two minutes to let them adjust and then fall into his mix, and then when he gets them, he just steps on the gas. And then there you go. It's awesome. There was many nights where he got a standing ovation and I got a standing ovation. He just steps on the gas. Yes. And then there you go. It's a great. That's awesome. There was many nights where he got a standing ovation

and I got a standing ovation. There was double standing ovation where it was really. And the boss was there too? Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom.

Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom. Yeah, boss was the host. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, look, I've been on shows where, you know, you have to go up in the middle or whatever.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where you go, but you have to respect the family. If you three were on tour, I've done a state of it. But I think we could rotate. I don't think that if they could follow you. Yeah, I think anybody could. Let me ask you that question. Do you think you could follow Canon on the road?

As of now, no. It's honest, I'm just being honest. What about you? I think before I lost my whole hour, but now Mike has a brand new hour that he's cooking with. He's ready to go. Like, I mean, look, I would have a hard time following Canon. I would admit that.

I mean, I'd still do it, but I mean. Well, great comics here. I think you guys are all great comics. But if you guys went on tour together, you'd have to be honest about it. Yes, you have to know what? I don't have any go about it. Yeah, you can't split the money even.

I just, you'd have to. I would like, I don't mind going first. I just don't want to host. I do have to go though. I have to get want to host. I do have to go though. I have to get out of here. Oh, thank God I was. So you guys, the podcast on the Patreon.

Yeah, let's play him out with a song. Yeah, do we have it? Yeah, do we have it? We do. He's got a rap line. Listen, where are you going to be? We're going to be meddling. When's this coming out in like two weeks?

Whenever. Well, it comes out this week. I'm headlining great. What's a headline? It won't be out before. Okay. Then doesn't matter. Follow me on Instagram.

Follow me on Twitter at Brendan's aglow, then twitch.tv slash sex to riches to watch me and Fini play some video games, which is always fun. I'm going to get what are you Sony? I'm not my TV, but okay. And also listen to here's a scenario and check out our Patreon. One of, I mean the hit show on the network which is gaining in popularity every week. I told the, I tell everybody you three fuckers

are hilarious individually but also the through I'm so happy you guys are together and doing what the fuck you doing your content that you put out as fucking hilarious you guys are hilarious standups, which is I love that that's in front of everything. Yes, you do all this other stuff fucking funny stand up wise and your podcast is fucking. That's what's so great about being unsuccessful for so long is you really get good at the thing. Yeah, it's coming. It's coming for one of you. And then hopefully that person plays the song. Jimmy IV is listening to this episode for some reason.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's ready to go. What? Brandon Sagalo lets hear his rap. I'm fucking nervous. I don't know which one you're gonna play. Which one are you playing? Play the N word one.

I don't say the N word in any of them. Do we approve a thought shit one? Yeah, let's do that one. All right. What is it called? Thought shit by by BC. I need a god. It's a remix This one I'll probably put out I hate this I hate watch, you know, let's... I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm asking how I'm sick on my time rinky when I come through I'm home now motherfuckin you guys I'm a spaniard old you I just wanna be like a sitting on full of T.A.C. like an edible I'll cut it with the bombs off a get up because he's lines got these bodies dropping like it's fend all faded Tonight Twain's playing on my playlist I'm not impressed with your Brad Pitt It's all a basic I get my dick tasted by juice of all race but I'm coming on a face till she look Caucasian damn

Man, too I look like I like to repeat myself on my healthy. I eat it at Delhi. My night is a smelly when the night on my feet. I really like. I'm so long. This pilot keep calling me or high. Eight more verses. One day and I really be like this. Damn. Oh,

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a new calls stop? Is there another one? There are so many I gotta go You can't be here for the feedback. I love you. I love you sweating dude. You're sweating now Hi, buddy have a good set Brennan Sagalore downstairs. Oh I were gonna go right now Hi buddy, have a good set. Brennan Sagalore. Are you downstairs? Oh shit. Jesus.

I we're gonna go right now, Patreon, wow. I don't know how I feel about that. The rap song? It's good. He's doing that little dickie thing is great because he first he sounded like him when he rapped, then he came out with I got a four inch dick thing. So he's really dickie, little dickie thing

to every level. He's gonna have a show. I don't really like him too. I'm not so big of a both of them. I don't hate it, but I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say, I know you guys have to. Thank you. I don't. I can be fully honest. Okay. I know you can't. I mean, I am bummed that he's spending time on it, but yeah. It's a lot of work, because it's... Yeah, and it's gonna... I mean, nothing's coming. No, he doesn't even show people.

It's just on Patreon. I want to hear another song. We're gonna to, we're going to go to patreon.com says Robert Kelly right now. If you're not a member, please, and you, like, you're a member of the, uh, you're a fan of the podcast, go to patreon.com. Sash, Robert Kelly, where every week we do an extra 15, 25, 35, 52 hours on Patreon. Patreon only. We're gonna go there right now. Make sure you subscribe right here. Go subscribe and hit, uh...

Just let brand didn't do plugs. No, you guys doing plugs now too. Oh, okay. But we're doing Patreon plugs. No, you're doing regular plugs on the YouTube, which is now, if you let me run the show and stop giving me your anxiety and fear based or shit, you paranoid fucking weak, what?

I will get to it. I swear to God. That's fair. All of that, fair. Yeah, you think, do you think Nicole's gonna let you not do plugs? No. Their dates are already pulled up.

Look at that. Yeah, dude, those are mine. Seeming on. Robert Kelly live.com, just go there. Look, I'm all over the place. Fairfield, Connecticut, Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State, Perkipsey, Point Pleasant, Chicago, McKenry, Theodham back in Tampa. I got so much shit, Detroit, Theodham, Sarasota.

I got a new special. I'm gonna be filming. Everybody, I was telling you that I'm doing this weight loss, weight addiction special. I was very close to it. I'm switching gears. I had a whole special that I basically stopped doing of just really funny, fuck the Bob Kelly stuff.

I'm going to go back and re get all that stuff, redo it all, come up with an hour. I'm going to go do a killer, just a killer hour. And I'm very excited about I'm very excited with the people who are involved in it. And more will be revealed. But I'm going to do that sooner than later. And I'm going to pick either Tampa, Boston, or New York. Nice. Probably those three. So that's coming out soon. And then, but go to my day, to robbercadalive.com, go to comicwearables.com and type in code word,

ladybugs on the checkout, get 20% off. All this stuff, you got the micalty, you got me, you got the sister ping, why I hate that one. I want one of your face. You want the Bob Kelly one? Yeah. Well, there it is, scroll up. Where is it? There it is, Robert Kelly. I have one at the house, do you want one of your faith. You want the Bob Kelly one? Yeah. Well, there it is. Scroll up.

There it is. Robert Kelly. I have one at the house. Do you want one? Yeah. I got it for you. Go to comicwearables.com and get yourself a Robert Kelly squiggly line drawing t-shirt or YKWD hat.

We have the YKWD skankfest coming up. Right now we're going to be talking about this gangfest on the Patreon Extra. We're gonna be talking about behind the scene shit, how we, cause we were all there having a blast and then we're talking about the roast, all kinds of shit. But go, Mike Cannon, where are you gonna be, buddy? Sorry for being paranoid that I wouldn't get to this. You think I'd really just plug myself and not plug you?

I don't know, man, you know? But you do. Like, we talk. Yeah, you're right. It's like, I know that you're not, like this is not in your first time. No. I've done this a lot.

You know, I'm going back and listening to old episodes, I've told you that like 50 times. Yeah. But I've been on this show since like 2012. Yeah, dude, you're one of my favorites. That crazy? Nine years. I mean, you three, I need to give you a pocket pussy to get on the show.

You two. You two. I mean, we can be real now. Awesome, yeah. He's definitely not listing back to this after the night to see what he missed. Yeah, I mean, he is an anchor to both of you. We've heard nothing but that since we ended Irish goodbye. That's right.

He's the Yoko Ono of Here's the scenario. Okay. So December 10th and 11th, I'm going to be in Wilmington, North Carolina, Dead Crow Comedy Club. And then January 6th through 8th, I'll be in Austin at the Creek in the Cave. And then later that month, I'm in Boston. I know you're from there. So it would be lovely if people came out.

We're in Boston. The hideout, hideout comedy. I heard it's a great room. Super fun. So it's in Cambridge. Sounds great. I love it. I'm excited.

So all those dates at mycanoncomedy.com. And then of course, here's a scenario. Our pod, Super fun. We do the one free episode every single Wednesday that comes out. And then for Patreon, we have two additional episodes per week plus all the individual content that we do Either together or separately. It's a shitload of stuff that we put up every single week. I mean, it's it's crazy

So bang for your buck at five bucks, but you know, of course they'll call to do some stuff for me But she's on you guys. No, no, no, no, we've done this before we've lost we lost our last camera guy And now she's locked into a pretty strenuous contract Yeah, I can undo that contract because I own some of the company and I will fire her and fire you. How's that? MikeFannyCominate.com for dates. I'm going to be at laughs in Seattle, December 10th and 11th. I'm going to be at Uncle Vinnie's in December. And I'm also going to be at Laf's Boston.

My first time ever doing comedy in Boston. And I've never done, I've only been to Boston once in my life for a weekend. Very excited. So please come out. Keep the mustache for Boston. Yeah, you're gonna need it. Please Boston guys, they don't like twinks.

Yeah, so please come out to Laf's Boston. Tickets are gonna be on sale later this week. And then yeah, I have other days coming up, Twitch.tv slash NY Freshmaker. I wanna do a twist. Listen, you should, you should join us. It would be really, really fun. It's so fun.

What is it, Paula Doody? We play various games, but yeah, Call of Duty, we definitely play as old like our... Is that on computer? It's on every platform. So, if I got a Sony or an Xbox, I can come in for that. Yeah, but you're gonna wanna stream on PlayStation. It's better, I mean, if I get a Sony or an Xbox, I can come in for that. Yeah, but you're gonna want a stream on PlayStation.

It's better. I mean, on PC, it's better quality than if you're stream on PlayStation. I'm not buying a PC, so that's not happening. All right, well, then you're gonna have shitty quality. And I know you and you like... Why would I have shitty quality? You like because it's limited in terms of the software. It's limited.

There's limitations. But you, you like nice things and you want it to look good. And it will look great. If you use it, it'll look like your zoom calls. If you stream on PC, how what kind of PC do I have to get just a gaming PC? That's fucking $4,000. $1100 bucks. Where?

You build it online. I have to build it. They send it to you. I don't fucking tell them they send it pre-assembled. Who's they? I mean, anybody. I'm not trying to use company. I got it.

I'm not dealing with the fucking Chinese. Look what they did to our country. But check out here's a scenario. Check out Snarky, I just started doing that. It's a fun thing. And I put a bonus episode of that up on the Patreon every week too. So another thing.

It's Snarky. It's Snarky. Great name, right? I got a new solo pod that I'm gonna do. What is it? Isn't this your solo pod? No, this is with everybody. Oh.

This is a comic hang. I see. Yeah. That's why people get a hard time about it. This is just a bunch of guys sitting around, yeah. This is comics. This is comics, what we do, hang out and talk about internal things and fight and yell and scream and make fun of each other.

And that's why it's hard for regular people to listen to. Sure. Because it's not just me talking to you going, so what do you think about that? Ha ha ha. Great. All right. Oh really? And you think people are interested in that type of show from you. For me, I don't think so. So I have no choice. I've made my bed. No, my show that I'm coming out with.

What is it? Are we on Patreon? Yes. No, not yet. We're going right now. So let's go. Let's go to Patreon. Stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash a rubber kelly. See you there. Hey listen everybody thank you for listening to Patreon. We're gonna wrap this up. I gotta go to fuck home. I haven't eaten. My blood sugar's low. I'm feeling package. I want to get cookies or something. I need something sweet. Yeah, of course you do, you fucking pot heads.

Well, no, I'm just fucking drug addicts. We ate a big meal. What, because we're more empathetic and loving and connected to each other. I'm so horny. Yeah, the chick touched my nuts today. Let me finish using the thing. I'm not a chick Anyways, I know she's not I think I might be able to have sex tonight actually what time is it?

What are you doing you fucking narcissist? This thing is shedding all over Oh god forbid nobody can see it. You see it though, right? No, nobody sees it. There's ants everywhere. You three are fucking dynamic. The dynamic duo and also Brendan too. Oh, he's the straight woman. Yeah.

Patreon.com, Session Robert Kelly, you guys are the best. We got a Mike Fieny. Make sure you check out your website. What's your website? MikeFienyCom check out your website. What's your website? MikeFiennyComedy.com. And what's your website? MikeAnonComedy.com. MikeAnon, what's your website?

MikeAnonComedy.com. Who's that? At I Am MikeAnon, it's my wife. We also just got a free Chromebrook. With Chrome. All right guys, see you guys next week. You guys are the best. I want to thank Nikki.

I want to thank, of course, Joe Russell, Mush. Make sure you follow them on all social media and check out the cheese show on YouTube. Dude, it's awesome, man. It's really funny. I like it. Thanks. From Brook. Thanks.

I can't stand. It's like you can't end. You guys keep just bringing stuff up. You brought up the T-Shel. I was just good. You guys are the best fans of the world. We'll see you next week. You know what, dude. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. you