Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Mike Feeney Brendan Sagelow Dale McPeak | 10 Likes

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

This weeks YKWD we got Mike Feeney, Brendan Sagalow and Dale McPeek look at the decline of faith, what we're all working towards, and take a look at Bobbys first Instagram posts! SUBSCRIBE TO YKWD https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly https://thelaughbutton.podlink.to/YKWD​ http://www.ykwdpodcast.com FOLLOW YKWD http://www.twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://www.instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast http://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast FOLLOW ROBERT KELLY http://www.twitter.com/robertkelly http://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive http://www.facebook.com/robertkellylive New episodes arrive every Sunday via The Laugh Button For advertising opportunities email: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Kelly and sign up over there because every week we put a show, an extra show, Friday show, only Patreon. And we also have the J.O. party on Saturday night, only Patreon. That means you, all the fans, get to come into a Zoom and hang out with us and all the other ladybugs. And it's a blast. So we also let you watch all the shows live, YWD live all the culturing Kelly's live unadded it all go on the patreon and you also get the 10-minute extra YKWD Every week goes on there a lot with life in the shed one on ones

Tech talk with Bobby and friends. There's so much content up there And you know what it's all for what a price of a cup of coffee, five bucks, get you in the door. And you're gonna love it. So make sure you go over there patreon.com, slash Robert Kelly. And here's another little thing I want you to do. If you like this content, we'll put it up, subscribe and like. That's it. Just hit the little button, subscribe, so you know when we got a new show out, and then

like it. So we know you like what we're doing, okay? That's it. patreon.com slash Robert Kelly, subscribe and like. Now we know you like what we're doing, okay? That's it, patreon.com, that's Robert Kelly, subscribe and like, now enjoy the show. social media podcasts. Why can't we do podcasts? Why can't we do these back again? Old school, back in the day, we're all starting before them all. Why can't I do this? Podcast is so fun and crazy and there's no rules.

You're ruining this! First of all, I'm gonna have to apologize. It's not any podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original version. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of YKW.

And we got a hot one for you tonight. This is like old school. I've been doing like one or two guests, but now we're going back to three. Remember when I had like, fucking nine guys in the studio and everybody complained. Telling me, fuck, dude, this day, who's on?

They all sound the fucking same. Anyways, tonight's guests are, I fucking, I love two of them and like one of them. They're very, very funny. Everybody's calling me Kells Bells all week. I got to deal with this fucking new thing, the Doug Bell, the character that Norton created, that's a hit, is taking off. I got to deal with this horse shit because he gave me a nickname Cal's bells I feel like a fucking audience member Ah, a nice shirt fucking Cal's bells. Now that's who I am. They changed my wikipedia It's a nightmare, but anyways, I digress let's go into the show. I got

Chicago funny man. I just worked with him. Dale McPique. I got Michael Feney and I got Brandon Sagalo. Welcome boys. Hey, what's up? What's up, what's up? That really, you really teased that to where people must have thought Norton was about to be on

in his new character. Well, we had him on fucking Catherine Kelly, stupid Mike Bookdom. And he said he had a very special guest and then it wound up being him. And then that's when he gave me that. He's a yeah, man. We used to call you Kels Bells. And I can't believe how fast it took over. Before the podcast was done, my Wikipedia was changed for life.

For a good, it's not a bad nickname. No, I don't mind it. Yeah, it's pretty. Kells Bells. Pretty badass. I feel like an idiot for being the only person to put my full name at the bottom of this. Dude, I was laughing. I was laughing so hard when Bobby came in after the theme song. Because it just, it's so, it was like, it was like, dead in on it. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just the most badass from Trin. I also don't remember the theme song changing. Like I remember that song, but I don't remember the amount of highlights being like, we're back, old YKWD, the way it was, the way it used to be, the way it was back in the day. And we're gonna be the past, that's what it is.

Brandon, don't step on his thing. He's doing great. Okay, I know you got excited because you're like, oh my God, I don't do as much stannis as I used to do last year. And you felt a vibe and you wanted to jump in. Let him finish. Okay. You're right.

You're right. I fucking, I started getting ripped up. Yeah, he didn't grow the mustache for just nothing, okay? Yeah, I don't take no shit no more. Yeah, that's a boundary mustache Yeah, let me say some Dale's mustache is fucking a man's mustache. It's unkept. It's bigger on one side You're not gonna smash. I have the worst Tenshawaire well done You're almost nasty. I have the worst facial air of all time. Yeah, I'm like, it mustaches. It's going well, well, down to your bottom lip, which is pretty. Oh, there it goes.

Yeah. I was like, I got the facial air with transgendered. It was like hugging your front teeth. That's that. Yeah. I don't. I try to hide the gap with hair. Yeah.

Fini's mustache is like English, you know, like he's solving crimes. Is that very sophisticated? Is that you behind you in the photo? It is. The very same without the mustache. What's behind that guy? But do you have a, what is, where are you recording from? Phoenix, Phoenix likes everybody to know exactly what he's all about on his wall behind

it. And his little things as possible. I mean, I want to know about the book your party here thing behind you. All right. Here. It's, I'm at my mom's house. She's a hoker. No, I'm at a, I'm at a bar I work work at but it's closed today.

It's closed today and I don't got good Wi-Fi at home. So I've been doing it here. Why is it closed? He works in a bar. Close up one drink. Close up one drink. Again, I would fucking go. I would drink at this bar.

Oh yeah, you pick R.T. bunkers. It's R.T. bunkers bar. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's just quiet. It's got a familyunker's bar. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's just quiet. It's got a family, it's got a family of six living upstairs. It's got the Papsbilo ribbon. Yeah, we got two, three bedroom apartments upstairs that are $1,000 each.

Very cheap. And you know, it's rent controlled. And we got a, we got old people, only old people. We got one guy that comes in every day during 15 old styles styles leaves me two bucks And he takes three naps and then he drives home nice He's sleeping beforehand. Yeah, yeah, he gets a little rest in so you know to people book their parties there No, this is a this is a different bar

But they do do parties here They do shows and stuff They actually do parties here. They do shows and stuff. They actually do accommodations here. You work two bars, you work two different bars? We're getting three different bars, but one of them is still closed. Damn. Yeah.

You're a bartender. Feeney, you're a bartender. Yeah, I used to bartend and serve for a while there. You did, really? Yeah, I worked it from a, like I worked at like Sipriani, like a $500 plate, high dining place,

and I worked at Applebees and then like everything in between. I really, really got the, if it was a college essay where you know you needed to be well-rounded in the serving industry, I would have been, but you know,

comedy came a call and baby, yeah, nothing I could do. I had to keep taking off. That's why I stopped it. I had to keep taking off shifts so I could do eight, three minutes in the village lantern basement on a fucking Friday instead of making $350. I was like, this doesn't make sense. That's like, you're now, man. Look at me now. You're on a podcast with horse pussy. So, you know, he's on a multiple podcast with horse pussy. I can't escape him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And if you ever see that guy, I forget what I saw it on YouTube. I saw it on Instagram where it's just a guy yelling, if you want to know where your life is, why your life is shit, why you're not, where you want to look who your friends are. Yeah, I saw that. Look at your friends.

Did you see that? Yeah. No, but I guess I need to watch it. Yeah. I'm so excited to hear. I'm like, God, I hope Phenian can. And don't see this. Hahaha.

So I just realized also what your name is supposed to be. You're, but I thought the phrase was high as giraffe pussy I mean no, I just what I was typing I what I was actually typing was like the magic school buses cock But it came out and it was the magic school buses see and I was like I gotta change this. This doesn't Worthy It's too wordy. Yeah, so I just know this explanation this explanation is too wordy. It's too wordy. Yeah. So I just explain this explanation is too wordy. We've got listening like three minutes ago. Holy shit. I thought I was on a bus. There's no loud black way

beyond the speaker. So I'm gonna hit by one. I love the laughter. Yeah, I love it. I love it when mush comes in. It's like God. It feels like God in our years. God is dead. Yeah, you know what? That's funny. Bring that up.

God, I mean, he's on his way out. This I don't, well, I'm when I was going, when I was a kid, you went to church on Sunday, even if he didn't, you know, just went to church. There was churches everywhere. they're all full. People always talked about religion, but nobody, nobody, believes in God anymore. Like if you talk to kids like 20 year olds or teenagers, latins,

high college, God is not a thing. Well, I, my family, we went every Sunday. I think my mom stopped going pretty early on in the process, but my dad really stuck it out and took me every Sunday until I hit my confirmation. And then we never, ever went again. It was like he graduated.

He was like, thank God, all right. You're on your own if you wanna keep going, pal. And it's almost like people are getting smarter, you know, and not believing anything. Yeah, and so I see you at an A meeting in 10 years and you're fucking asking me, I tell you to go believe in a higher power, you fat fuck. All you, all the comments you look up to, what nothing to do, yeah.

you all the comics you look up to want nothing to do it. I mean, no, I understand. Like, it's, it's hard to believe some dude walked on water. This other guy had fucking, you know, walked in the desert for 40 years or the other guy gets 70 virgins. I don't fucking know. These stories are hard to believe. But I mean, do you guys don't believe in anything? Like any God? I don't know. I don't, I don't, I think it's pointless to think about. It's like the fuck what, what God would love that? Yeah, there is my, what's the point?

If it helps you in a way that like makes you get better in recovery or it makes you a better person, then fuck. Sure, do it. Who cares? But it makes you a better person than Fox. Sure. Do it. Who cares? But it's like, I don't know. I don't think about it that much. I think about like the universe, dude.

Like, like the universes are God and we're all one and we're all atoms that are together. You know, and I keep going like, I'm a lobster. And besides yourself, do you believe in a God? Thank you for acknowledging my omnipotence. But I will say I, I don't know, I don't know either. I don't, I think that I mean, it seems I'm kind of of the belief that this exact thing that we're going through is a series of cataclysmic You know science and smashings of random atoms and all that stuff. However Something had to like come up with that. I guess or maybe not. I mean like I guess it's just so it's such a mind-fuck that you're like Yeah, I guess there has to be but where it is to chicken of the egg. None of it makes any goddamn sense.

So, you know, then my brain starts to hurt about it. So I just kind of blank, you know, go away and stop doing it. And I mean, of course, I mean, I'm taking it, Dale, you don't believe in God at all. No, I do. I'm maybe, I don't know. Not only does it. I mean, you don't have to. I don't care if you do it.

You don't have to. No, no, I don't care. Yeah, I don't care. Like, you't care if you do or you don't. No, no, I don't care. I don't care. Like, you know, I'm probably gonna go to hell. I think he is there. That's it. I feel like there is, if there is a God that the idea of having to go to church in order to serve,

that's why I feel like there can't be just a singular God up there or something because there's so many different religions and everyone's so sure they're right about everything that the whole time if I was really devout in one religion, you're either saying that other religions are wrong or you're just in such denial that you could possibly be wrong. But on our religion, you're just kind of saying the same thing with different stories. Oh, my God. I forgot. I got my cross on. different stories. Oh my god, I forgot. I got my, I got my cross-ed. That's what makes me laugh is that he's got some, he's got like a

fucking $600 gold Jesus necklace and he doesn't even believe that he of it just as. He just likes what a case you get this, it gets you get possessed over a fat chicks house. Well, it used to be when I did, when I did cocaine, I would just do bumps off of it. Nice. You know, and now I just keep it as like a memory. You just suck it up.

You suck it up. You did bumps off of Jesus's feet. Yeah. For the nail. But God damn coke is getting stuck in the little hole in his foot. It's so frustrating. It makes it fun. It's gonna get it out.

You gotta work for it. Yeah. I don to work for it. I don't believe in hell. I mean, how can you believe in, when you get used to the torture? Isn't that, if you're in hell for eternity? No, it still hurts. It hurts for eternity.

That's the whole point of hell. Is that you're like, ow, and then he does it again. You're like, ow. I was doing this too. I'm gonna keep doing it. It's just that you turn to you of, ow how stop it. Oh, please come on now. I love it. I think that

What happened my screen froze and then I panicked confidence went with it. It's all gone. Well, it's just with it. It's all gone. Well, it's just, but just, uh, I had it lost again. God. Oh, shit. So sorry, dude. What is all about hell? Eternity? You get used to it. Yes. Yes. Stop looking at your mustache and hair. And maybe you won't forget. Fuck that. Maybe if you twirl it, you'll come up with the

answer. The Jewish people have a God. Yeah. They have the God. They have Jesus's dad. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. You said, I had a, I had a uncle who watched me for a while when I was a kid and we used to have to pray to Yahweh. You know, I'm going to need Yahweh tonight. away. You know, I'm gonna be yeah, wait tonight. I mean, I'll be honest with you. I pray. I meditate. I meditate every day. And I do, I do evening stretches, which has a meditation at the end. I believe in all that shit. That's why if we go to hell, we're mean, Bobby are mindful. If they start torturing us, we could fucking get to a place where we're like accepting it, you know, you accept the pain. You go, this hurts. I would not. I'd still be like,

ow, this hurts. I don't like pain. I don't look, I don't know if I believe in hell. I don't know if I believe that we go to this, this fucking place. What? I don't want to interrupt believe in hell. I don't know if I believe that we go to this fucking place. What? I don't want to interrupt, but I got it. I got the thing down, right it down. That's what it is. Here's what it is. They said there's a there's a actual statistical science study

that they did over like 35 years showing that kids that were raised with religion were way less likely to become like violent criminals and go to jail than ones who did because I think it's obviously growing up with a punishment reward system like do something good go to heaven do something bad go to hell versus being like nothing nothing's out there and nothing matters so just do whatever the fuck you want but um that's also kind of a weird thing to do to people because it's kind of like Santa you know you're just you're lying to your kids for a long amount of time until you're like, I don't know the real answer. So hopefully it's real.

Yeah. That's so funny that we got so entitled as humans that they will like, look, they're not buying the Jesus thing anymore. We're going to invent another thing. I want to go to Gio gives gifts like his cousin, like Jesus cousin. Yeah. Yeah. But listen, I don't believe, I don't believe that your hell is here.

This is hell. And your way out of it is to find some type of spirituality. And if you look at all religions, you know, it's how it's love, don't hate, give, don't take, you know, don't bang you, a neighbor's wife, you know, don't be a killer. They should drive, they're not under bad. That's a bad, that's a bad one. I think they added a couple,

I think a couple kings added some You know one king had a son that was really fucking busy Daddy I want a new horse. I No more no more gays my hand told me that life was hell and We got a lift through it to get to heaven, but she's addicted to bike it in. So I don't know. Yeah, so if you think of life right now, no matter how good you have it, you still have

to go through hell. You still have to go through you, you know, like Louis CK had that great bit that no matter how great your life is. You have a dog, you have a dog, you have a house, you have a beautiful wife and kids. Someday, the dog's gonna die, your wife's gonna die. You're gonna just be alone. And you know, and you know, all that shit's gonna be gone,

and you're gonna be fucking miserable. You're gonna be sad and fucked up. I mean, of course, I hacked up the bit, but it is true. Like, I look around around and I'm like, oh, I got my kid, he's playing basketball with a wife and I'm smoking, I said, Gar, I'm gonna do a podcast with people I like.

And then I'm like, oh, in around 10 of 15 years, someone's gonna be sick. And Max is gonna have to deal with, I'm a dawn or someone's going to have to do. It's all going to fucking go away and you have to deal with that awfulness, you know? And you're going to do it by yourself. I think, I think Max and Donald get through it together. You know, I don't think you have to worry about like which one of us is going to get sick first. I think we're, you know, because there's a surprise sickness that could come,

but that would really be an underdog sort of situation, you know? No one goes to how God just says, I get it. You can come in. Yeah, that's funny. That'd be funny if there was, if it was like, you could do the most even murderers and child murderers, just to, they go up like I fuck I'm dead I'm going to hell and go I was like come on get up here nobody goes to hell just come on in yeah we're just fucking with you

We just want to see if you play along dude there's a bunch of kids you can shoot right over by the park over there He tricks him a little bit like a friendly trick. He's like go to hell and they're what you start walking out He goes hey Ted get in here Why are all Ted's fucking children killer killers? I don't know though Ted is the character in the TV show What do you think heaven wouldn't you be heaven would be I what do you think heaven is if it if there is a heaven, what is it?

A nice couch. Wait, uh, where are we all talking? We're like, this is our time to shine. That's why you know Dale loves booze. A nice couch. That's it. I'm seven. I do think my plan to get into heaven is going to be the Bart Simpson model, which is a life

of sin and then repent on my deathbed and ask for forgiveness because he's got to forgive you. That's his kind. You're religion and you're religion he does and Catholicism he forgives you if you ask for forgiveness, but you have to say a bunch of prayers. You're going to have a priest say, all all right 10 hell marries and 15 our fathers and Three glory bees and if you don't have the time to get those done You're fucked

That's a good point. Maybe I'll do like a midlife check-in rosary Cover my bases. So if you go to heaven if you die you say the things you're going to have him What do you what is it is it is it white? No, I mean color Is it all like I'm saying? Is it on the guys' assholes? It's white. I'm everybody's got small noses.

It's great. I'm saying, is it, you know, that white heaven they show in movies with everything's white and lights and all that shit. Every's wearing white is what I meant. I'm picture how about this just a, a, a, you know that feeling when you're sitting on the beach and it's like one of those perfect days, and you close your eyes, and it's, and the sun is warming your skin, and it's not hot enough to where you feel like you're getting burned, but you feel like you're being nice and like, it's that warmth that you kind of, even with your eyes closed, you know, when you lie on the beach, you feel hot jizz on your nipples. You're so comfortable. You don't want to wipe it off.

And your partner's there and everything's perfect. Yeah. I guess. Oh, he froze. Frozen is a little. Come on. I thought you were just like a stop. Oh, he froze. Frozen is a little comfortable. He froze. Yeah, he froze.

Look at him. I thought he was just like a stop. Yeah. Yeah, he froze. Let's make fun of his musta. Why he looks exactly like the photo behind him just with a mustache. Yeah, it looks like the bad guy from Monsters Inc. You ever see that movie?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that he has like three pieces of soundproofing. That's the two anything at all. It's if his voice talks directly at that part of the wall. Yeah, it's what makes it. Can you keep it down? There he is. There's a fucking soundproofing.

Yeah, it's such a good line too. And right as it froze. I was the man that I've ever been. Yeah, and then we just really close you. What's you? What do you what do you think heaven really is? Fini besides sitting on a beach getting come on. Yeah, drinking a mojito with. Yeah, we said, Rod. I'm gonna change I have to change my wife to make it more stable. So give me a sec. This is TV's hell. All right. Well, I'm going to move on to the brand now. I'm currently in it.

Brandon, what is your, what do you think heaven is? I think it's just a really good day, where everything goes according to plan. You know what I mean? It's not. You have no responsibilities. You get to see all your friends and your family It's it's it's every day that you live it's every day without the pain of thinking

Oh, yeah, dude, let's pain of worrying about anything. No worries Isn't that the fucking worst part of life? Isn't that when you dream of like hitting the mega millions or becoming famous? It's not famous, but having money, where you're like, money is the root of worry. It's just, if you don't, I'll think about not having enough money when I'm 70. Like, okay, I'm good now, but what if I'm 70

and I got nothing, where do they put us? Where do I go? In a fucking hole That's gonna be froze again look at him He could not have frozen a worse than him, that's him reading the reviews of a CD. Oh, he left. Yeah, you're just starting to get killed. That was awesome. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I, I, this guy, I mean Greg says the love of money.

But listen, it's not the nobody. I don't think anybody give. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha of like I think of going somewhere, getting a house that's awesome, a school district that's awesome, and not having to worry for the rest of my life about paying bills or taking care of my family. Right? If I could do that right now, I would probably jump off social media. I wouldn't do shit. I'd probably still do this podcast because I enjoy it, but I don't know if I would probably jump off social media. I wouldn't do shit. I probably still do this podcast because I enjoy it but I don't know if I would do all the other shit that I'm supposed to do Because I have to promote or do or say or keep relevant. I don't know if I would do that shit And maybe I'm just maybe I'm old, but God do I hate it all it's just yeah

It's the fear of the unknown that makes us like get so fucking annoying on social media and do all this dumb shit because it's like, I don't know if I'm gonna fail unless I do this or I don't know if I'll be able to pay my bills in the future or what if I, when and then I die and I'm just a poor guy in a hole. You know, I'm really leaning on the whole theory.

Yeah, you really are pushing that whole thing. What are you gonna say, Dale? Save what's what kind of hole are you talking about? Yeah All-time Now everybody's like a dick around a hole no fuck you guys you didn't like my hole to begin with you're not A ditch sounds better because you can lay down You know to begin with, you're not. A ditch sounds better because you can lay down. You're in a hole. You have a stand up. I said, I'm old.

Well, have fun. Gavin, I'll be in a ditch, playing down. I like a ditch better too, but you can definitely. Yeah, I like the ditch. I'm with the ditch. I'm on the ditch. I'm going to just dig a bunch of little things together and make a ditch.

That's what I should call my life, Dale's ditch. That's what I've made for myself. You want to tell me the way that I learned about like the money and happiness thing in like the, you see it in movies and stuff, but like I had a, this is like the dumbest way to really have this epiphany, but I would play, I used to play a lot of Grand Theft Auto and online, you know, I would like, I swear to God, hear me play, I used to play a lot of Grand Theft Auto and online, you know,

I would like, I swear to God, hear me out, I swear to God. I know, I just love that this is coming out of that. God. It's insane. I never thought I, I never thought I would take in an advice from an asshole, the mustache. I would be in theft auto, but God. I would, I would constantly be, I would play online at this game to save up money to buy a nice apartment in the game and do all this. And you're really like, I was, we were put in, and Sackel, I was there too.

We were putting in like hours of work a night. And then one time around Christmas, hackers got into the game and they just, like, something, I had like a million dollars saved up in the game or something like that. And these hackers dropped like 50 million dollars saved up in the game or something like that and these hackers dropped like 50 million dollars in everybody's bank account. So overnight I had 50 million dollars and then the next day I was like This is the greatest thing ever. It was like the movie blank check I fucking bought every gun in the game every outfit every apartment every car. I did wasn't I happy? No

Not frozen waiting Everything that I wanted to do was happy was love in life was like I was like with this game The shit and then after 48 hours. I'm like oh I'm bored this sucks now. I have no I have no drive. I have no reason to do anything I it without so there there is no with all of when you have unlimited money, you're like, and now one is born. I wish the half of it. Can I just say, I just want to say something though, you guys are, you guys are all at a young stage, right? Yeah. I can't get over Sagalos anger at his like delayed joke that was He's talking I was I was stepped over

I'm just saying that when you get to a point I don't know what you're gonna want if you want kids if you want a wife if you want a family You know, but when you get to that point, where you're looking around going, oh shit, I have that joke on my act, I have 30 summers left. I mean, I literally have 30, you know, what's his name's stole from me and did it on fucking Comedy Central.

I, on Netflix, who's that on call? I'll turn my mind. Yeah. But, you know, you, you, you, you start looking around like, oh my God, 30 summers. That's, that's less than my, my life right now. That's less than, I've already lived 50. I have 30 left. That's less than what I've done.

And then you start, then you start getting nuts, where I'm like, all right, well, I won't count till 10, because I really didn't know what the fuck I was doing. But, you know, and then I'll be sending you like, oh, but the teens I really did. And it's like, okay, the last 10, I'm gonna be very slow. I'm not gonna be fucking doing much. You're not gonna be fucking.

The last five, I'm gonna be sitting a lot, having lunch and a small dinner dinner and going to bed early. I mean So you take out take out 10 years. It's 20 and that's if I get in a shape and get my life together and stop moving again so 15 All right, well relax ball. You don't have to do that. Okay I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean and do my podcast and that's it and not have to do anything else. Not have to worry about anything else, which I think I could do if I worked a little,

the next couple of years maybe get there, but that would be amazing to me. You know, I look at guys that just, you only see them when they want to be seen. Like they don't care about fucking fame. I love Ari Shafir. He just took off for fucking six months and went down to South America. Yeah.

That's what I, not only is he fucking off, he's like having cultural, worldly life experiences. Without something, I'm very envious. I'm way more envious of his ability and his not even ability, but his confidence to be able to do that and not worry about the the FOMO of all the other happenings like are these are these in the fucking rain forest having an experience that none of us can say because we're too busy performing on a fucking rooftop for 12 people thinking that it like this is how it works it's like yeah yeah yeah yeah but if you give up that if there is a spot where you like if you give up that seat if you give up that shit gig If you give up that shit gig, that outdoor gig, that rooftop shit, somebody who right behind you, some sociopath with wide eyes is right behind you, waiting, and that's all they care about. Fuck it.

I mean, so it is scary, because if you do get, what are you gonna do? No comedy doesn't care about any of us. Comedy doesn't care about any of us. Comedy doesn't care about any of us. As soon as we say, it's like, yeah, go ahead. I mean, you're a fuck, goodbye. Everyone would be like, sure, except for like close friends and people that I'm like contractually obligated

to do podcasts with. Most times that I leave the country or like, or even when I went to Hawaii, I was like, oh, I don't, I don't like need to go back to America. Like I don't need to come home. I could just, this is just be a new life and I'll just never return, you know, and just be that'll be who I am now. Yeah.

You can look on the beach. Yeah. Yeah. That was not 17 years ago, by the way, Lou. Oh, he's pretty white. Yeah. No, I put that up. It like, 17 years ago, by the way, Lou, that was, Oh, it's what it's like. Yeah, no, I put that up. It was not 17 years ago, a fucking asshole. What are you going to say to the, I'm sorry. There's so many comics that like, you just stopped seeing after

a few months and then eight months go by and somebody brings them up and you completely forget that they existed. You know what I mean? Because they just like fell off or they just stopped coming out. Yeah, but did you ever stop to think like what, I've thought about this, what if I just stop? What if I just turned off the fucking computer,

turned off and just didn't do, just stopped and walked away. Then you'd be free. And then yeah, but how long would it take? I mean, it would probably be like a month before nobody gave a fuck it would really believe that people would be like hey dude you remember Bob? Bob yeah what the fuck happened to Bob I don't know I think he became didn't he go to India to help find water or something or He lost a lot of weight and left on and you get a married a fucking dude

Get a week they like a week would go by where everyone's like wow, that's crazy And then next the next week people wouldn't give shit. I think people with me not you Yeah, I think people would talk I was having a shit the day after I think most girls saggy I think people would talk about the day after I do that. I think most of the world's saggy. I think most of the people, I think your kid would be like, where's Bob? I do think Bobby, people would talk about you for like years and being like,

oh yeah, that guy fucking left. I think for you, it would take, I think all of us, it would take about a month of being like self-doubt, fuck, fomo, Goddamn it, I made the wrong decision until like you had moved on enough from it and then after about a month you're like, and now, and now I'm totally fine. But I mean, I'm past the point of no return.

You guys have not passed the point of no return, are you? Yeah, I think once, I said this, like once you put an album out, once you have a thing that's out for eternity online, and that's when I think you're, before you ever have an album, I think you're good to go. You can fucking just get out and no one's the wiser. But once you got fucking, I'm on Pandora and Spotify and fucking iTunes forever. There's always endless amounts of podcasts that we've done that are online.

And there's no getting another job after this. This is not a second interview situation we're in. This is it. Yeah, like the shit I've said on podcasts, not only can I not work in show business, but I probably couldn't get a job if I quit. Yeah. Why did you just deliver that like you're on a sitcom?

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? I couldn't even do it if I quit. I'm sorry, I'm for Ford, but I couldn't work in Sam's room. It was time, you know, saying a joke.

Yeah, but here's the thing you could, I remember jobs, you bring up Sam clubs, I remember like delivering flowers, I remember doing those jobs, those menial working at a styrofoam factor, they have jobs where you just check in in the middle of the night and you stalk a shelf or you do something in a warehouse and you take a little break you have a snack

You talk to some other asshole for and you do it and then you're Leaving the morning you go home you sleep you wake up you watch TV you do it five days a week you get some benefits Small but you make some money you pay a little rent for your place and you're done And you don't ever have to look at a computer you don't have to look at you don't have to tweet you don't ever have to look at a computer. You don't have to look at, you don't have to tweet. You don't have to Instagram. You don't have to take a photo. I mean, dude, I went to photography school. I went, you know, and I, after that, I never took a photo until Instagram. I remember when Troy Cwan from the Jim and Sam show, aka,

OP and Anthony show, aka OP and Jim show, um, soon to be fucking, uh, Doug Bell show. Doug Bell show. I, uh, but I remember he was like, dude, Instagram, you gotta get it. I'm like, what is it? He's like, you take photos, man. You can do all kinds of imaging and change the filter on it, make it really cool. And I was like, oh, no, I mean,

if you look at my Instagram, the first couple of photos, it's like the cobblestone street and it's over-exaggerated and fucking sunbeams come through. I thought I was becoming like some photographer with my dumb phone. You're just making that look, pictures look older. I actually took my phone today. I got out of bed and I immediately just started looking at shit.

And I just took a breath and I threw my phone on the bed and I walked away. And I came back two minutes later. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I heard, I heard ding. I was like, I gotta go see who that is. Yeah, I looked like Waltman, a friend's car last night. And the whole, as soon as I woke up, I was like, fuck, I gotta figure out how to get it back. Because otherwise my whole day is fucked.

I don't know what I'm gonna do. You know, you know what I didn't like working, because you were talking about like a menial job. You know what I didn't like working in those you were talking about like a menial job. You know what I didn't like working in those, in restaurants and bars, any of those, like what I worked at best by even in high school and stuff. The, it for some reason is like a job that's accessible to everybody and the management,

although hardly ever educated, will always treat you like you're a fucking idiot. You know what I'm saying? Like I had I had restaurant managers who like didn't graduate high school that would talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot, you know, or you're like I don't need the I don't need the condescension. You know what I mean? Like you know how to put in apps faster relax pal. You know what I mean? It's like what are we doing out here? Hey hey can you not talk to us like with them yeah you're reliving it like hey relax pal I know that's a chill with them on where you're where we're comments hey you should see how tightly I'm ripping this mic look at the video if any almost gave us this two weeks notice yeah like, you still work man. You still work at a bar, but you but you

But no, you're not a failure because you're actually I mean one of the funniest young guys I've seen on the road in a long time you're hilarious But there's gonna be a point where you're not gonna have to do that anymore. You're gonna bail Yeah, well, I mean I took off tonight for more to do that anymore. You're going to bail. Yeah, well, I mean, I took off tonight for more to do this podcast. So halfway there. Well, that was stupid. You shouldn't have done that. I mean, this is very, very little for your. Well, I'm losing out on $45 maybe that an old guy can pull out of his dusty pocket Just some old fucking old dude with a scally cap Yeah, drinking a Valentine's a elf a fucking 48 minutes

A stegel And they pull out a They pull out a 20 and then they, you know, they drink for four hours and they leave you two bucks. Pretty great, pretty look at it, look at the career. But there's something about that, okay? Okay, you work in a high end fast paced fucking, you know, cocktail bar where you make

in 300, 500 a night. Yeah, you make it that money, but it's so fucking taxing just to see that dude at the end of the bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I work in bars like they're like late night like fourium bars when they get slammed, especially after like when there's a musical festival in town in the last two hours, because most bars here close at two, and then we would be open till four and we just get slammed and it's a nightmare, you know, you want a lemon drop? Fuck you. I don't know what that is. I should. But I

don't know what that is. You know one of the most popular shots. How dare you call it after me, the bartender. Scotch and soda. Dale real quick. Yeah. You got to fix the hair. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, just call it over a little bit Well, they got one of your earlier Instagram. Oh, you have one of my my my now I'm gonna make money off this now. There you go Wow

Look at that was the caption in studio. Oh, is that that's Norton? studio Yeah, that's Norton? In studio. I don't know 100. 400. Yeah, that's a big thing. Yeah. What was that? 173 weeks ago. What was that?

That's like 19 years. That's like 19 year old, 11th, 2012 or something. Well, that's autistic. Oh, yeah. Well, it's right there. Yeah. Look at my photos. Every one.

Everyone's Instagram, early Instagram pictures are all covered in filters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure you're welcome. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love Nice. What are you? Sago? Yeah, that's the lamp in my therapist's office. I thought I was, I was like, wow, that'd be a great shot inside of the, the lamps. Shade the lamp inside the mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, and look at the, look at the dude, they were conspired that dude, you got your

Instagram, you got your coffee boom great pick Bob a dad I don't know why I lose the ethic that can be yeah let's get on with that oh the lights look at the rapists yeah the rapists that's good yeah that's good go back what's the line that's a nice one

go back to the photos let me see the photos what does that say? Which one? This one? Yeah. Yeah. To Catholic. Catch you.

Remember this motherfucker, not even Bobby does. Oh, the unknown comic. Look at this sound scary. The unknown comic knows you. I love that somebody just wrote, no. know, I don't even know what that means. I go back. Let's scroll down. Let's see if I let's see my real R.C.1s. Scroll down. Oh, no, the one with the look at the moment, the writing on the window right there. Yeah, look one what is that? It's a Reno just in case you didn't know save me. How about the how about the one? I remember let me tell you something Reno should be called

not Vegas. It was. But I was so sad this guy It was such a bad gig The hotel is fucking terrible the food in the hotel all the restaurants suck and the the kid I'm walking on stage You go say don't look at your watch and I go what he goes. Yeah, the owner the lady of books It doesn't like comics when they look at their watch It's unprofessional and I I went, go fuck yourself. Yeah.

And you say, well, she might fire you. I go, I'm gonna look at my watch 78 times. So she doesn't miss me looking at my watch. I remember, this guy, this guy hit me up, he goes, you wanna go fly a fish in? I go, sure. Absolutely. I have nothing to do.

He goes, all right, I'll pick you up at 4.30 in the morning. I'm so lonely, I wake up, I go out front, outside of Reno, nobody's outside, by the way. Nobody's outside the casino. And this guy pulls up at a pickup truck and picks me up and we're driving in the dark into the desert. And I'm like, I'm going to be murdered. This is my,

I'm going to die. I fucked up. Like, there was a point where he wasn't talking and I wasn't talking. And we were just driving into the sun coming up into the desert. I'm like, this is it, he's going to fuck me. I'm like, this is it. He's gonna fuck me. I'm gonna have to suck him off. And then he's gonna cut my throat. And the only way out is if I- A lot of fly fishing opportunities in the desert, huh? Well, thank God he took me to the Indian Reservation.

He's saying about the desert covered in flies. He took me to an Indian Res reservation where there was this beautiful lake. And we did ladder fly fishing where you bring this ladder out into the water up to your tits. And then you climb up the ladder and just sit on the ladder and you cast and fly fish from there. And I'm like, this is the stupid shit ever. All of a sudden the sun's coming up.

It looks like you're on Mars, okay? Out in the desert. It's like Mars. The sun comes up, it's everything's red. And I look in the, around a hundred guys sitting on ladders, just as far as you can see. All right, this is just a thing. And I was just sitting there on these fucking ladders. And then he took me to this rock

that overlooked the lake. There was a bunch of Indians up there and they left. We snuck up and he's like, listen, man, they don't like us intruding on their spots, but they came back and they just got just stood next to me like shoulders or shoulders and didn't even say nothing. And I'm sitting there fishing And he's so in my space, but I'm such a plus. I was just like, hey, hey, you want to go get some lunch? Yeah, weird as fucking place in the world. Sorry about my Reno tangent, but but my Reno tangent but yeah, I didn't catch a fucking thing. Not one nibble. Every time you cast the flies, they're not going to go underwater. They're just going to want to keep flying away. She's honey. They were, it's a different type of fly. It's not

It's like, um, you, what you do is they sink. They have a bead head on and they sink and you strip it. So it's under the water going sit, sit, sit, sit like that. Uh, slowly pull it in. Yeah, I didn't want to, I knew, yeah, no, you kind of pull it in fast. You strip it. Sit, I mean, this is just ridiculous that I'm doing this. And you guys are all staring at it I don't understand that you you're ripping it then I what's the noise that it's making? I don't know anything

I'm making that noise I'm making the noise to know There's only one noise or it happens in three is every time I mean if you zip zip zip zip zip Wait, wait, wait, are the flies wearing hoodies? What's that improv thing zip zip zip up? Yeah, zip zip up. I love it. Fuck me.

But yeah, I don't know how we go on Reno. Yeah, the club. Yeah, the pictures. Yeah, I remember that. I was so sad. It was later though. The what picture your feet are Yeah, I don't know who that is. Let me see. My god, they're so wrinkly. No, I don't know. Uh, poor Bobby can only see. Yeah, I mean, is that pregnant? Shaggle?

I also like to reply. They're not my feet, dummy. It's a homeless lady praying in a shoe knuckle. Where's the lady praying, though? She was praying on the streets, I think. You got the weirdest what it's like obviously not the thing that you were like, no idiot, it's obviously a woman praying on the yeah, I know I really did yell at them for something that's not that obvious. You look like you took a picture of somebody when they were blowing you, because that looks like the ass crack and the belt. Yeah, our feet are facing us. So they don't. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That could be it. No, she believed me, she wasn't. I wish that was a almost lady blowing. And you got a toe ring too, like that. That would have been so much funnier. If that was a almost lady blowing me. That would have been a funnier. That would have been so much funnier if that was if those are homos lady blowing me That would have been a funnier retort than what I wrote

Then not my feet dummy What else what else scroll down Scroll down I remember that throw down. Oh, I remember that. Wow, this is weird. Yeah, look at these, look at these fuck. I'm so look at me trying to get in shape once again. Oh, there's a picture of me in front of my statue. No, what? Oh, you have the worst fans. The absolute worst of fans going back nine to ten years. Oh, listen, let me tell you something. Coco, I hope you have the worst greatest fans ever.

Why they're like, they're just loyal. No, I mean, the bust of the mouse. Is that the real Eiffel Tower or the one in Vegas? Where, let me see. Let's go up a little bit. Where's the Eiffel Tower? Up to one more right there. Vegas.

Yeah, definitely. No, that's in Vegas. That's what Vegas, yeah, that's the real one. You didn't let people know that. No, of course not. I'm going to let them think I went to fucking Paris for a day. Perry, you know, Perry. Oh, this Patrice's hat. That's nice. That's depressing now. Yeah, that was sad. Is that a sad? No.

What else? What else? What else? Did you pick up a dead bird? Yeah, Bobby had like a midlife. Who's that? Stop, stop. Mike, Mike, mosh, slow down. More Norton. Scroll down a little bit. Scroll down. Who's that guy right there hanging? Yeah, the guy hanging.

Who is that? He cooked. Oh, gee, that's what we were friends. In flight. We were talking. Wow. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I love the hashtag iPhone 4S.

Why did you hashtag 10 likes? What is that? What is that? That's what they used to do to get. That was the goal. The goal. The goal. The goal.

Did I have what else did I hashtag? What is the other thing? I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored.

I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored.

I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. I've been bored. It's good. What is the one we're holding a dead bird? Where's that I Thought a right above the day. There's the photo you holding my god Bobby. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Why are you holding a dead bird? You fucking lunatic. Now, it's like blood and hair on your hands before your hashtags. There's like blood and hair on your middle finger tip.

It looks like the feet of that hooker. Look at it. I think I was hungry. Now these are the same hashtags. So did you copy and pasteies from your notes and then you have to write them out every time. I fly away. You're like Lenny. I actually got tired.

Oh my god. Let me see. Let me see. Go. This is fucked up. Great. Oh my god. This is wild. I had scroll down.

Scroll down. Keep going. No. Whoa. Whoa. Oh yeah. Now go. Go.

Tom Papa. Tom Papa. What's that? Who's that? You think these filters are gone now? Waitresses counting tips it looks like. Yeah, is it? Who is that?

Now they're rolling silverware. That's the olive tree. Yeah. Comedy in the day. What the fuck does that mean? I'm not sure in the lifetime. I got 20 likes. I got less likes now. Go ahead. What else? I got more likes when I thought I was a fucking goddamn. Hey, we sure this isn't Jim's Instagram page. He's in mostly every pic. I did a lot of stuff with Jim.

I don't like upside down one. That's fun. That was that was open. Anthony, man. Look at that shit. Oh, yeah. What does that say? Chris Wayne, you hit the back, Bob. Who did? Chris Wayne, no.

Juan, yo. He'll be back, Bob. Come on. Yeah, whatever. Goodbye. Yeah, fan. Oh, Jesus. Wow.

Yeah, this was. Look at that little mitten. No, that's all Tom wins. Instagram is now like, you know, what I want to play a game Instagram. I wrote I run like I'll release the kid. Tom Hanks entire Instagram. I was thinking picture the gloves he finds on the street. Oh my god. So he stole your shit. Where he did, dude?

I wrote, where is she? How creepy is that? Not even a question mark. I told you, you were very, you were, you weren't even questioning. You were just saying you figure it out. Yeah, where is she? My dumbness is gonna get me fucking thrown in jail Have an alibi for November 13 2011 pal

Grand larceny assault rate What what What? What? What? What? This is a picture of the food right. Click the rate one real fast. There she is. No caption, no comments. You got 10 likes without putting hashtag 10 likes. Let me see it. Let me see it.

Go back. Go back. This is from my stop. This is. Go back. This is when I worked on the show. Oh, look at that. I'm going to go back.

I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back, go back. This is from, I stopped. This is, go back. This is when I worked on the show, oh, look at the original YKWD logo. No, wow. This is when I worked on the show The Tutu, on CBS, the Robert De Niro, fucking big, who, what? Robert De Niro had a show in CBS.

Uh him and his part to put on a show. Yeah. Wow look at it. It was awesome. Is that fun? Yeah he does right? Yeah. Wow. I'm doing a show with him on Thursday. I didn't the rape one get more likes than this. You're doing a show with him where at North bar. They're actually where I'm at right now Yeah, I thought I'd plug it to sell more tickets from Yeah, please go see Vos go see

Fucking Vos that dog's dead Your hands he's right there on the shelf right there. That's her right on the shelf right over there Yeah, she's gone that's diva What's up? Wait, what's it? I love this you were doing a show from a fucking you all I love that had it yeah Who is it? Jim Sierpico came down to my gig in Fort Lauderdale and we went to hooters and we were like, we should do a show. We should film something. And we came up with this idea. We rented a U-Haul, we went and got a bunch of shit.

Like that clown thing was there, the chair was at the U-Haul, the board. We got all the stuff and we would roll up into like a Starbucks. And we just grabbed somebody who was sitting out and we'd do a talk show. That's you should do that again. That's a great idea. Yeah, it was a great idea. And we pitched it. Again, that's a great idea. Yeah, it was a great idea. We pitched it and then we pulled up to a band's house

and the front bottom boys and they came out, I interviewed them and then they did a song on the back of the truck. And then I met Dan Soda at a, I met Dan Soda at a Ducca Donuts and he came on and did stand up on the side of the truck. We got like 13 people to stop and then I interviewed him on the back Was that the first time you met him? Are you already? No, I knew Danny. He was like a new guy like you are

You know, they mean back then yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, that was the the Robert Kelly the Robert Kelly you haul show We went and pitched it I remember when we pitched it to true TV and these two ladies It was like I was pitching them a show, okay, we're going to take kittens and we're going to cut the heads off and we're going to, then we're going to shittin' to their bodies, like we're going to shittin' to the body part, the cavity, and then we're going to throw it at children. That's the face they had. Now they got that fucking, the fucking Billy on the street show where that guy just runs

around screaming in people's faces Yeah, it was the you hall was the deal breaker for them Well, they the whole thing changed after that they were like we're really looking for and it was something else and then a year later was like you know Forduch was statin islands fucking and pranks on people. Yeah. And then some gay guy running around screaming at people. Yeah. It was timing, timing, guys. Yeah.

Really? I was, I, I, I give props to Billy Agner for being able to do Billy on the street because as it seems so easy, but he is, it's a very difficult thing. I mean, that's like barking to the max, but on television. Oh, yeah. You have to have so much confidence. Somebody bumps into somebody at clubs every once in a while. I've never met him or seen him.

Love has worked. Quite tough. Hit me up. You got to be a little bit of a... I would just... I'd be running up to people and they'd be like, what? And I'd be like, I don't know, I'm sorry and I go I just I can't do this I can't do this But he also is like every time they're like yeah, that's the best part, too

It's just the panic that people have I think there was one word that he was like name any famous female go And she's like what and he's like anyone go and she's like what do you mean? He's like anyone go right now that she's I think He's just yelling at her interface. You know, I would like to see all the bloopers, all the stuff they had to add it out. What some guy was just like, go fuck your mother. Yeah, one with a lady where she's like, I'm not the one mother fucker. You know, yeah.

And he never, he never ran out of black lady again. She just went away from the non-out. Black lady again. It's been a while. It's been a while. No, no. When Nas was on, he like, he like fucking hated him. And he was just like giving him the answers, but being like, fuck you. And then he goes, you won, Nas, you won. And you get a bird cage, a big bird cage. And he hands him a bird cage. And I was like, I ain't taking that shit. And he like threw it to the ground.

He fucking walked away with his bodyguard or whatever. It was crazy. Wait, was he supposed to be on the show or he just found him? He agreed to do the ground. He fucking walked away with his bodyguard or whatever. It was crazy. Wait, when he's supposed to be on the show or he just found him. He agreed to do the show. Oh, whoa. He's like, I will listen.

Don't you all give me a bird cage? And then he got real pissed. I, uh, I, well, that's an hour. So we're gonna actually go into the Patreon overtime right now for the Patreon Only fans. And I'm gonna ask you guys each question in the Patreon overtime. We're going to give you your plugs before we go there. So don't you worry, don't get nervous, uh, Fini, uh, always present. I don't know. I'm, I'm plug proof,

baby. What a GED right there. What a sudden frame down the wall? Oh, that's hilariously. I keep it there because it's fun. It's a certificate showing that I, in fact, graduated from UCB long form improv. Because this basically was a $1,200 piece of paper. I'm not allowed to be on a herald team because my dad isn't rich enough. It looks like you graduated Yale. Thanks man. Yes, I'm going to ask you. I'm going to ask each and every one of you what your show would be if you could pitch a show right now, today, to me, network, YKWD. It's a whoever has the best show,

I'm going to invest in it. We're going to put all the money behind it. We're going to film it. All right. So, Fini, you buy his album. Where's the album? Everywhere on you can also anywhere you listen to albums or you can Spotify, Pandora, iTunes, you can also watch it on my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash Mike Fini comedy ad I am Mike

Fini across the board. Mike Fini comedy ad I am Mike Fini across the board Mike Fini comedy dot com per dates and if you like to watch people play video games check out my twitch twitch.tv slash and why fresh maker damn dude that's fresh maker you're a what do you got at Brendan saggler on Instagram and Twitter and everything else by my album not now more than ever it's on Spotify it's on it. So just please listen to it and support me in every way. And I'm also on Twitch at Sagster Riches. So if you want to follow me there, follow me there. That's it. And yeah, what do you got, buddy?

I got a podcast. It's only on Patreon though. It's called Dale City. You can subscribe. Yeah, I do it once a week. It's pretty cheap, you know, and then I guess I'll also plug the show with Vals on Thursday. I don't know if this comes out after, but you know. Well, people watching it live is some Chicago people in here. Yeah, yeah. You'll come by Thursday at North Bar and look her park. Yeah, yeah, he'll come by Thursday at Northboro and Wicker Park at 7 o'clock. You should do a story podcast from your bar and call it Dale's Pale Tails. I almost named my podcast Dale's Tales and then I went with Dale City because, you know, I don't want to be a fucking nerd.

I like to hang yourself. Dale's Pale's Tales, like, ails pale. Hell. I felt like people would just make fun of me too much. If I named it, ails tails. Well, sure. Uh, make sure. All right. Well, listen, uh, check out Mike V. Suarez. He's going to be doing a bunch of shows at Yannis.

He's very funny and make sure you do this. Subscribe, like, comment, bang, subscribe, like, comment right there. You're watching this on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe, hit that button, like it, and you can leave a comment if you want it to. You really don't need to. And if you want to watch the extra 20 minutes or whatever the fuck we wind up doing,

go right now patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. That's where every week you can watch live all these YKWDs, Get the extra 15, get your name read right on the show and get all the comments and Kelly's live and be a part of the JOP party on Saturday nights. Be in the room, unedited and comment and be part of the show. If you're only on patreon.com, Sashrobert Kelly and go to wearables.com. We also have t-shirts and shit like that,

which is gonna bring up. Get yourself a YKWD shirt, wear it at the show, and I will give you a big fat fucking hug. Wear of comicwearables.com, you can get YKWD, you can get the new Robert Kelly spaghetti face, is up there, which seems to be a hit. Everybody's fucking, Aaron Berg bought it, the Y spot when everybody's buying this fucking shirt by the way so Get those only a comic wearables.com. There you go. So here you go. We're in the

We're in the second half. Oh, yeah, go to my dates. Robert Kelly live calm. I'm all over the fucking place I'm in Vegas. I just booked the new wise guys in Vegas. I just booked Side splitters for Sinies. I'm in Florida twice. I mean side splitters of September. I'm at this weekend at new I'm at the East Brunswick Mall square mall outside. I'm at Auburn, Alabama, at Crown of Comedy. I'm at Paper Mill, I'm at the Funny Bone, in Albany, Comedy Works. I mean, I'm all over the fucking place.

I'm in Philadelphia, the punchlines book. So make sure you check out my website and buy some tickets, get them now, okay? There we go. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. And I wanna thank Mike Feney I want to thank Dale McPique and I want to thank Brendan Sagalo very funny comedians Dale I just actually became friends with a few weeks ago when I was in Chicago holy shit very very funny you

gotta go check out his podcast if you get a chance go check him out in boss this week He's one of the one of the fucking up and coming mother fuckers watch out for this guy and of course check out Mike Fini and Brendan Sagalow their podcast guys promote your podcast Here's the scenario you go to here's the scenario dot com on left button You can go to here's the narrow.com. It'll show you, give you every link for it, me, myself, and Mike Cannon. It's great.

We also have a Patreon.com slash scenario pod. Yeah, make sure you check out Mike V. Suarez. He's going to be with Hank, Torin, with Yannis Poppins a little bit. Probably on some of my shows. So check him out. He is the mush, the producer of the show and Robert Kelly live.com. Make sure you go to all my stuff is up there. Yep. Subscribe, liking, comment, and go to comicwearables.com. Get yourself one of those fancy Robert Kelly shirts, YKWD shirts, Colttern Kelly shirts. I'll be back tomorrow live at 11am with Mr. Mike Caltor on the Caltor and Kelly show, a thousand pounds of funny. And I want to make

sure that you guys check out this shit out. Go to my dates, go to robacadolive.com. I'm touring all over the place finally. And I hope you guys come out and check me out and do see what I do for realsies, which is stand-up comedy. And that's it. We'll see you guys Y espero que te veas, me voy a ver lo que hago para los reales, que está en la pérdida. Y eso es todo, nos vemos en el próximo mes, ¡y no lo puedo ver! Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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