Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Muppet Shoe

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

Bobby’s back from Father’s Day camping for a hot YKWD with Joe List and Katie Hannigan in studio! It’s ghetto campers, angry comedy patrons, the latest in female pleasure tech, it’s more than ...Mushys fat fingers can keep up with! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a costifier. It's podcast, it's no rules. What are the mic-ass holes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic-o? Oh, fuck the fuck.
Starting point is 00:00:22 That was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down Sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin Daydying my podcast is popular. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. What? Then went fucking top and then fucking plateaued. And then got the regulars and it fucking reached the stars. And then they left into their own shows. I never left. I had dental issues last year.
Starting point is 00:01:17 I had mental and dental issues. What's up everybody, Robert Kelly? You know what, dead podcast of this week Sunday to 17th. I'm so excited to announce live from the shed with the great Keith Robinson. He's alive. He's still out half of him. KWR soup. What are you scrolling through all the shit?
Starting point is 00:01:37 Can you just get to my fucking Patreon? You fucking mush, mush you, Mike is on the keys. Patreon.com, so that mic is on the keys. Patreon.com, that's Robert Kelly right now. If you scroll down a little bit, Mike, you will see it right there, scroll down a little bit more. If you're right there, live from the shed with Keith Robinson, whoa, what's that?
Starting point is 00:01:57 Unlock it now? That's right, it's for Patreon members only. Thank you so much for being a member of my channel. I just put a brand-spanking new one on Fucking one up there. I did another one on one this weekend in Vermont at the Vermont comedy club Holy shit. What a club. What a town beautiful place I've been going nonstop since I left. It's up there lucky pigs me and Paul Verzi God
Starting point is 00:02:25 Do I love Paul Verzi doing shows with them we just connect? Sexually I wish Fucking dump my wife of me and Paul oh smoke cigars and just fucking yell at each other. How great with that? Hey, don't dump a wife you divorce a wife. I'd fucking dump her Fucking dump her right off a fucking bridge if we broke up Sweet, I know that's that's what I was trying to go for non-sweet I'm gonna attack everybody I will fucking attack everybody. Yeah, you're intense He was intense this weekend
Starting point is 00:03:00 He's tense this weekend. Coming up this hot cat reminds me of when I used to get yelled at by my uncle Johnny. She really wanted to get that joke on. He just gave literally one of the greatest jokes Joe Liss has ever said in the world. She said you're intense and he said he's been intense this weekend. He was camping.
Starting point is 00:03:17 To be fair, I made the same joke like three weeks ago. I'm sorry, Kat. Katie, I apologize for coming down here. Apparently he's just a hack. I don't know if he's scared. A hack, I just, you know, I'm sorry Kat Katie I apologize for a scary me apparently it's just a hack I don't know if he's scared a hack I just you know I'm using the joke did you get beat up by a podcast host once why would you be scared?
Starting point is 00:03:32 yeah yeah um so anyways please go there Robert Kat partner patreon.com says Robert Kelly yep and a lot of compliments for the editing uh oh from fucking Gabby.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Killing it. Second episode she's edited, and it's fucking great. She's, yeah, you're fucking amazing. Amazing, she's a comic, she's a writer, she's a actress. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Every single time.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yeah, amazing me so happy. I'm just doing all repeats on this episode. Well, Joe, aka the repeater. And then, so go there right now, alathable.com. This app is getting a little crazy. There's starting to have merch up there. They're getting shows up there. I mean, this is going to be the place to go.
Starting point is 00:04:23 If you're, you love comedy podcasts, this is it. Go get the app, it's free. The, what's the Android app is coming up very soon, too. And if you're an investor and you want to be part of it, you can do that. So contact them right now. If you get a butt load of money and you want to get on the ground level
Starting point is 00:04:42 of a fucking holy shit app, before it explodes and becomes a multi-million dollar investment. Yeah, did I say that right? Yeah, it loads on my back No, that what? Spicing it up. Well, I don't have to spice it up. It's sex cells man sex cells, but not just dirty sex Yes, it's in coming on Joe's back. Yes invests before it pulls out and blows it over my back all right well laughable calm I hope that the other ads that we do don't have these these these these
Starting point is 00:05:15 little nuances are caveats from you oh no likes it I love that's how I got invested haha so we're gonna laugh bull calm down low the app laughable. It's amazing if you love comedy podcast and comedy celivagus It's fucking killing it right now. It is I'll do we have you been booked there yet? No, no, I'm not available I'm booked through 2018. I'm doing very well Robert Dean Delray has no credits on the website That's funny Michael some of, who I really enjoy. Oh, he's hilarious. He really is. Ricky Vales and Jessica Kirsten, that is a fucking
Starting point is 00:05:51 killer lineup. And Dean Delray is up there too. And Cohen, Mark Cohen. Mergent. Let me tell you something. Everybody's talking about Mark Cohen. What is great hosties out there. Like this gig, he's the host every week.
Starting point is 00:06:02 He has one of my favorite jokes of all time. I'm going to tell him on this podcast 24. He gets a knock on the door from the police and they say we're looking for a rapist in the neighborhood and he goes I'll do it How many Seller Vegas go to commis.com if you go to Vegas want to go to Vegas live in Vegas Go down there and they have a special code. I don't know what the fucking code is we should have that so social social. I know all right CC social right now Code when you buy your tickets and then we go nicked a poll. Oh, okay. I'm sorry And then we get a couple other things over my comedy club. You've done it really love I did it Christmas I hope they like me. They're really sweet. There was nobody there because it was Christmas weekend and I don't sell tickets
Starting point is 00:06:43 But because it was Christmas weekend and I don't sell tickets, but it was great. Great club, great town. They're not a treat the comics, which is key. They will not understand that treating the comics well is the key to having a successful comedy club. A lot of comedy clubs though that they don't care about the comics because first number one, the owners aren't there or ever there. They're they own seven of them. Number two, they care about food and bev. That's their money. Rages?
Starting point is 00:07:07 Food and beverage, beverages. Okay, sure. They need to make that money. If they don't make that money, go fuck yourself. So if they give away 300 tickets and sell, you know, a million hamburgers and fucking 95 coaks and, you know, whiskey sours, they're happy. They make their money.
Starting point is 00:07:23 They're not making money off the yards me and you They don't give a fuck about that. Yeah, that's hurtful Yeah, it's hurtful. What are you gonna do? But this club the husband and wife team are fucking great Super nice class is couple That's hot. What's that glasses couple? Yeah, that's big these days I'm trying to give you a glasses couple, but my wife's not into it. Oh, go for it. Yeah, well she can see well. Oh, that's the issue.
Starting point is 00:07:49 A poker in the eye. I mean, I passed a couple. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, tear a retina. A retina should be in the asshole region. It feels similar, yeah. How's that? Rectum.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Hardly known. Rectum. They're in your kingdom. I can't stand the show. I really hate it already. You're a confident, or shit-sips when you tell a joke. Rectum. I'm just threw my coffee at you. Confident horseships when you tell a joke I'm just threw my coffee
Starting point is 00:08:31 So insecure No one's I've had losing here he's. He's never hit anybody. No, he's come pretty close. Very. And it was a woman also. He was a woman and me. Yeah, he's had a couple. Kelly. He's had a couple of times. Oh, yeah. He was a Kelly too. He almost beat the shit out of Kelly. Kelly, a prostitute and you. You should be scared. I'm sorry. You're right. This is a very scary place for a petite, nice person like yourself. No, Lewis isn't here today though. Yeah, I know, but he could come in at any time. Yeah, he's always nearby. He's here at Penny Boy, going down the hallway.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Is it any fighting? Somebody? He's fighting a guy and it's getting serious. It's very odd. I think fighting is serious. I know, but it's like, I think it was supposed to be fun and now it's gonna be in sumo blow up outfits. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:24 All right, who here it is. I knew sumo blow up, oh and that's it. Is there going to be a sumo blowup of it? I don't know. All right, whoo, here it is. I knew sumo blowup of it. That's not even the fucking mind. I'm not sure I understood it really. Yeah, he's fighting in August that, that Ellysmenea. Yes, he's fighting Ryan O'Neal. Type in Lewis Gomez, Ellysmenea, and then there you go. And then the start, is that how you do it?
Starting point is 00:09:39 That's a, that's how you do it. Luis Gomez. Yeah, all Luis ways you fucking dirty motherfucker What do you got you got nothing you got nothing you got nothing you got nothing. Yeah, they kept changing the rule Go to video Go to video Yeah, they oh that's when he punched what's his name in the gut anyways Yeah, so I guess they're changing them, but he's really fighting. he's fighting and uh... it's scary to make his lewis feels like uh... he
Starting point is 00:10:07 could kill somebody but the other guy also is a train fighter here the face of lewis go as ellis mania face off type that in uh... yeah that's the group it doesn't it doesn't look it doesn't look fun it looks to extreme well this one guy is uh... he's kind of have he's smiling yet he seems fun and i think he's a human and he's fighting louis
Starting point is 00:10:33 who's a monster yeah i mean it's a wonderful man i mean this will get back to who'll be my do you fucking i'm not gonna be nothing but nice to you so i have to say i mean i love louis and he's a dear friend but he's a fucking wild animal. Dear friend. Yeah. He's terrifying. Both of you guys. You both are. Yeah. You were. Lewis is a Hemmitt here. I've been looking at he is. He is a modern. One of the best fucking dads man. God, am I so happy that he is having a kid for Lewis and his new girlfriend too. I have to admit. Oh yeah, I love him.
Starting point is 00:11:06 He is changed. Oh see. I really love him and his little kid was at my party and he is the sweetest, most adorable little fucking guy. I can't tell you how much I love little James. Great kid. I mean the biggest heart ever. He's really done a great job as a dad as a friend
Starting point is 00:11:27 Conquer shit. I literally would throw up. No, but as a dad. No, no great friend also. No, he's great Just a bad everything else dad. He's a friend comedian. He's a great dad. That's like said. Oh dad friend comedian He know. Let's take comedian out. Let's just take the dad and friend. He's a good friend and dad I'm gonna say dad friend comedian. I'm winking. How out. Let's just take the dad and friend. He's a good friend and dad. I'm going to say dad, friend, comedian. I'm winking. Can you not see me winking at you? You can't be right on your phone. I told him the other day when he was at my barbecue,
Starting point is 00:11:53 he goes, because you guys were all the headliners now, right? Because Keith and Colin didn't come. So he's like, this means we're the headliners. And those guys in the middle is, I go, well, you're more of an entrepreneur. You're more of a... I would say... You're more of a great dad. Yeah you're a great dad, great friend entrepreneur, maybe businessman I'd say but comic you're
Starting point is 00:12:13 not a headliner. Maybe a feature strong feature with somebody else. He's a killer though. What do you mean? He can kill. I'm a person. He could murder a person. I'll kill him. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. Right on the other side. a big boy, okay he's tall, he's a big kid. Look this guy, see his fists?
Starting point is 00:12:47 That's a big fucking fist he's got going on there. And when you get knocked out, the guy usually has big fists. I'm having a big mitt, it helps knock people out. Look at his arms, his arms are fucking jacked. And then look at his hat. You think he's a nerd, but he's not, he's a fucking cowboy.
Starting point is 00:13:03 That's a fucking camel hat. He's got a fucking eye hunt deer beard. You know, like he's been in some fucking hut in the woods for the last three days. And he's a trained fighter. And he's a fucking, and he's a trained fighter. This guy's no joke. Lewis has been in shape for eight months.
Starting point is 00:13:21 I like it. Lewis has to lose like 22 pounds. I like the first comment, bro, you're fighting in there. What the fuck? It's fun. It's got to be something. I wish I could go. I'm going to be in somewhere.
Starting point is 00:13:32 I'm telling you, I really hope Lewis. I hope he wins. I just don't think he's going to win this guy. This guy, smiling. I don't know his confidence. Lewis hasn't beaten the back of the neck fat curls. Me. Curls. He's going to fight with his neck. Rolls. Rolls. Not curls. Confidence Lewis hasn't beaten the back of the neck fat curls Curls gonna fight with his neck rolls rolls rolls
Starting point is 00:13:54 Why is Alice? Well, who's the dude in the middle taking a shit? That's bam bam big a low I think that's Jason Ellis is that Jason. Why is he mad? Why is he scroll down? Let's read some Confused he looks mad at the guy the guy looks like tough me. Let's just say you fat fuck O'Neill is gonna eat you alive. Oh Jesus, good one. LOL being Puerto Rican is true though. But knives will be used after the fight. Okay, what do you think? I think that Lewis is gonna lose. And then afterwards they're gonna be best friends
Starting point is 00:14:19 and have a podcast together. Lewis is gonna be like, bro, I thought I fly. I really thought I had him, but this guy, he's no no joke I love him and we're gay we lose the gas digital the guy who beat the fucking shit out of me broke my leg and almost took my life. I'm rooting for Lewis betting on O'Neal. He can't I mean technically Lewis can't lose if the video of him getting the shippie out of him still gonna go viral he's a little it's gonna look a little well. Well, I'll tell you why it's gonna lose You wins you wins. Is this like a boxing fight? I just hope it doesn't bring his kid. No, you can't bring your kid to that Why? Because you can't check it in the corner for inspiration daddy. No
Starting point is 00:15:00 James crying Kim Tom to get your shit together. You're not yelling at him. You know if you're good undercard James James versus Max Undercard Max already hit him in the stomach last year when James took his toy. Oh wow a big hoodoo Who's heard yeah James was crying heard about that? I came over. I'm like what happened? You kids just hit my kid in the stomach. I'm like why why? When he took his toy. Well, there you go. Teach your kid not to fucking take shit. Kid shit, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Yeah, teach your kids to hit. Yeah, it's important. Oh, it's instinctually, just did it. So it's good. You know, teach them. If you don't teach them. If it's instinct, it's good. We're not sharing.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Yeah. For us, I try. For us, I dig your two fucking hands. I read recently that Sharon, oh you fucking two mule and quambs, what about hitting's not good? I'm not teaching my kid any. I love Max.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Huh? Of course you love Max. Let me tell you something, when you've done the Max, the fucking hallway home today. Ooh, she's a little runaway. 900 fucking times. That's her fault, not mine.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I think it's kind of your fault. It's 100% your fault. No, it's your fault. I'm gonna try the joke I started a couple minutes ago. Yeah. I just read recently that sharing is caring. Very good. Oh, I thought that was the setup.
Starting point is 00:16:24 No, no, that was the whole thing. That was the beginning of the video. I don't even know what to say. I mean, just take it. You should've asked for it first. It was delayed. It was like, I was gonna say a thing. It was a big thing.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I've never had the puck at stop like that before. I just didn't want to talk over anyone. You can talk over anybody you want. Please talk over him next time you come. I would love to talk love to talk over. Let's move on to some other business. I just think I don't don't don't take the show, please. Let's move on to other business. How's my I was my dictate. Oh my god. Nick's Apollo got a bunch Mike desperately wants to talk about the Apollo.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Every time I look over and he's bringing it up. Flaps up to the the Apollo Yeah, but you keep bringing it up great. You keep bringing it up. What do you want to talk about? I just thought you guys want to talk about that Well Crying Bob I've never I don't understand I don't Here I stop for a second. Here's a deal. All right. Here's deal. This one a little disc There's the thing here's the thing take this off take this off go back to the Take it off take it off They go we stopping put your hands to your side Mike. Take your shirt off. Do you have to take it off? Take your jacket off take it off. Hey got girls. That's a little fucking you know what I mean? I mean if it goes one way it goes the other okay, let's back up. Sorry. I just heal it's hot
Starting point is 00:17:44 No, I'm saying I mean, if it goes one way, it goes the other, okay? Let's back up. Sorry, I just healed that. No, I'm saying it. It's not physically temperature. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm not attracted to mine. What are you saying? What are you going to go further with it? What's wrong with you? We get it.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Just trying to clarify. There's one person attracted to mine, and she married him. Um, right? Yeah. Okay. You're married? Jesus. I'm not going to say it like that. Why are you going to be with rowing people? Mike is a good looking guy to some one person. Okay, you're married
Starting point is 00:18:10 Why are you gonna be with row you people my because a good looking guy to someone person you know people say to me sometimes Boo, it sounds like a compliment but people go I'm like yeah married I love my wife it's great and they're like that's unbelievable. It sounds like a compliment But it's actually quite hurtful why Why? That's not believable. Like, you've got a wife that likes you. That's just next precious unbelievable. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, you can do it. Yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:18:32 It's very hurtful. Yeah, when I say I'm going to the gym again, a lot of people say, oh, you can do it, Bob. Keep it up. I've had that too where I'm like, I go to the gym every day. People are like, what do you mean you go every day? I go every day. You're like, what? Doesn't. And I'm like, well, I the gym every day, people are like, what do you mean you go every day? I'm like, I go every day, you're like, what?
Starting point is 00:18:45 Doesn't, and I'm like, well, I'm doing a variety of things there, steaming. I'm like, the skinny old guys off. I would do that also. I wanna explain something. I was in, we went to the Montreal Vermont, Vermont Comic Club, I brought Max and my wife, which when that happens, it becomes
Starting point is 00:19:06 a vacation, this big thing. Well, I have to wake up, we went to the aquarium, we went bike riding, we went to the farm, Max milked the cow, we went to the beach. Was it good? You did this. You fucking suck on the teeth. Well, it's not a dick So it's still straight. It matches live in this back as you started blowing the cow That's a bull that's instinctual from the farm. Oh, you're a farm girl, right? No, I'm not but I pretend I am So yeah, we went up there did all that shit great time great shows But and then right from there we went to a campsite a K.O.A. That's what I'm going really fun one. What does K.O.A. mean?
Starting point is 00:19:57 Camping of America Kable with a K. I don't know. It's involved with the clan I'm going to a K.O.A. in myself in Maine. It's involved with the clan. I'm going to a KOA myself in Maine. It's, yeah, what does it mean, Michael? I thought it was the one I was going to. What does it mean? A large Hawaiian forest. That's a nice song, right?
Starting point is 00:20:15 KOA camping meaning. Mike is as dumb as me when it comes to typing in shit in a Google. He's not a good Google. He's not. No offense. Because you're just gonna get k o a this is what i was just on yesterday just what does k o a k a o a
Starting point is 00:20:31 that right of america is it say that just go back one go back one go back one stop right there where i think i think you're right there well i mean we all fucking morons right there i'm more on the time you spoke campground fucking morons. It was right there. I'm gonna moron the science about campground. They're the morons. It should be COA. You can smell campgrounds any way you want. This is America. That's the third amendment. It's on amendment.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Listen, this is a bad time for America. Go to go to the one CDA right there. Click on the a I don't see the A in the map the a on the map. Oh Like fucking talking to my wife. Oh Now go to the newberg one website top one Where says website click on that I went there. Oh Nice new bird K away. Oh, it is fucking brilliant for kids, but even for adults They get all they get cabins you can rent a cabin Okay, they have campsites in the woods. I'm gonna go to one in Maine in a couple of weeks a couple days a week
Starting point is 00:21:36 with my wife so Well, keep going where you were just go back to where you were and go through the fucking photos Michael They all cycled I go through were and go through the fucking photos Michael they all cycled I go through the fuck go to the top I'm gonna kill somebody that's what I was doing all photos all photos I hate camping but this looks like a hotel so looks fun I can't even look at this
Starting point is 00:21:58 the people can't see the photos at home though I think we have all photos I'll add some jokes while you look through the photos thank you uh boy my my my my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, the thing, you go out to the campsite, and you're in the woods, it's privacy, not, you know, there's people around you, but we went on Sunday, see the campgrounds are awesome. It looks nice. Some campgrounds are on like lawns, it's kind of shitty.
Starting point is 00:22:35 These are in the woods, they have these, see that big house with a red truck, you can rent that, that's a 12 person little cabin. Wow, 12 people in that thing? I guess, that's what they said, right? Did you go to have a cabin or did you have a tent? I got a tent, I got this new tent. I guess that's what they said, right? Did you guys have a cabin or do you have a tent? I got a tent. I got this new tent. It's intense. Did I do that one? Yeah, do it again. I think the
Starting point is 00:22:52 third time it's going to hit. They got free pancakes every morning. They get an ice cream place. I just want to buckle buck the store. They got everything up there. And then they got. And it's in the middle of fucking nowhere. But up in that area, there's some bad places. Ooh, what do you mean, like drugs? Bears, meth. Rape? That's like a little poem we did. It's a hanku. Bears, drugs, meth, rape. Oh, my God. Oh, you two, I literally want to throw on. You're best friends. Are you guys best friends? Yeah. Oh, that's really sweet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's really sweet. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:23:27 I can't stand it. I wish you were never on the show when she was on I wish to fact that you guys are fucking palsy Walsies makes me sick. We'll podcast together call the hot clip. Yeah, that's right What are you fucking Lewis? Promoted the end you fucking plug or things that keeps being dings and bings in ear. I don't think you're having a stroke. Oh, no, I'm hearing a little I don't like it. I don't like this show. I'm just saying I'm gonna strike. I don't like I can't it started hot It wasn't until he looked at the photos you can't look the photos on a podcast I think the photo rolled up quicker. We would have been through I know but you're hosting a podcast for 48 years You're the king you're the best you started podcasts. I agree. I love it. It's very grateful I'm getting to a point. It's a build up. You can't just
Starting point is 00:24:12 It's a billed up. Everyone's a build up. They're hitting the 15 button. I think you're great Listen, I think you're great. You you you married me. I mean you're my hero listen You can't do photos. I mean you're my hero Get into a thing before they fucking went into their relationship It's just plug in another podcast of my podcast and you're fucking whipping in the double jokes in the same week It did last week you're fucking ha ha sores And this fucking a keyboard I'd rather have my dead grandmother type in it fucking cool I agree he stinks the double jokes on the last week. All right he said something that was really funny just then double jokes on the last week these two we're best friend Yeah shut up. I hope you end tragically
Starting point is 00:24:53 Not tragic I do I hope one of them loses an arm and can't do the podcast for seven months and then it Pumbles on it and nobody listens anymore. You hope someone gets Suarez loses an arm That's how I assume you are because you type so slow so here's the up-and-up and uh... up and in newberg it's it is ganks this violence it's the murder type in newberg new i uh... crime rate it i didn't know this really in wednesday so we're hanging out
Starting point is 00:25:24 and It I didn't know this really in Westchester. So we're hanging out and I the night before we're going there I googled the town to see if there's some shit we could do It's look at this shit violent crime is moderate top 10 most dangerous cities in America and newberg is one of them Wow No, it's moderate violent crime is moderate now look at dude newberg Oh much higher than the statewide average. Wow. Why? We got a fucking separate some families. I believe what happened is back in the day when New York Manhattan and the boroughs was getting gentrified They pushed a lot of people up upstate New York because these little towns that used to be something back in the day
Starting point is 00:26:02 We're dead towns like Pekipsi and Newberg, they were just dead. And now it's cheap to live up there, there's housing, all the stuff, they pushed everybody up there. So now they got MS 13 up there. So, we're in. That's the worst MS. So, nine is actually quite awesome.
Starting point is 00:26:19 I call it Miz. I don't know. MS 6, they do a lot of um plays for children. It's like having the same guest on these two. It's like they're just a girl. I never realized how they're the same person. It's me sick. Never again. Yeah, I got it.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Do I want these two on a show? I want another... Oh, they're safe with Joe. No, I think you can't be. That makes me feel good. They're the same person. I don't think I've ever realized that. It's unfucked. It's're the same person. I don't think I've ever realized that. It's unfucked. It's like the same thing.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Wow. Yeah. Alright. I thought I'd never say this. I wish Lewis was here right now. Dude. I'm just going to be Lewis for the rest of the pot. Just to mix it up.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Shut up, Bob. You fat. Just be Lewis for the rest. You be you and you. And you be you. So and Joe and you be you So yeah anyways, it's very dangerous. So I'm looking at this shit. I'm like, oh my god. You tell you what's dangerous This where I'm from my dad's dead I'm not good at impressions. I know it's fucking great
Starting point is 00:27:19 I Love this my dad's why why would he do that? so it's dangerous you're saying it's it's not dangerous It's the murder murder city of the the murder city of the You think of the motor city no that's the trade So anyways, we go to the camp. I we get there. We check in. It's beautiful. It's nice everything we thought it would be I set up the whole thing, I'm dying. I go to the pool, Max and Donna by the pool.
Starting point is 00:27:49 And there's kinda some ghetto. Oh, you know what I mean? Like this, this is for Robert, come on. There's a couple white girls, but they're kinda, you know, ghetto. Did they have braids? Very nice though. You got a couple of gabbies.
Starting point is 00:28:01 They had a couple, she had a couple braids, you're right. I know. So they had a couple of,. So but they're being very sweet to Max, but their kids, so they'd be like, you know, Max should be doing something. One of their kids would spray Max with a splash or something. They should be like, don't fucking do that. I want to fucking kill you. When I tell you, leave him alone. He's a sweet little boy. I'm sorry about that. It's okay. I was like, no, it's cool. You know what I mean? It was like, they were really nice,
Starting point is 00:28:29 except to their kids. Were they young parents? I don't think they were their parents. I think they were the cousins. Oh, the cousins. But whatever. There was a bunch of kids there. They were, we were cool.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Everything was fine. We grew up in, you know, inner city blah, blah, blah. We kind of get it. She grew up in Everett. I grew up in Medford. It's not like, you know, so we go back to the campsite. I cooked dinner. We have a great dinner. We're sitting by the fire. Max goes, I'm literally goes. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. Goes in the tent by himself. With Dawn falls asleep. She comes out. There's two gang members in the tent. They rape the shadows and max I'm like what about me
Starting point is 00:29:12 I feel like now I want Yes, this banish No, so they were gang members it makes sense they are cute dimples I'm of the nipples because itples say you let on your cheeks. Sorry. You look great. Terrible. Shut up, you guys.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Yeah. Fucking asshole. So I'm telling you out of nowhere, we just hear screaming. I know it is. No, worst of guys. It was somebody yelling at somebody else. It was that group of people. They had cabins down the back and they're like, MOTHERFUCKER! I fucking kill you, man. Fuck you! You cocked!
Starting point is 00:29:54 So you call me a crack and badass! WAH! You're a kid screaming, like a kid being beaten. Oh, jeez. Do you hear what? Dude, yeah what? Well, that's the thing with camping is it's very cheap, it's very affordable. Hoof.
Starting point is 00:30:06 So. You gotta go to a nicer place to keep out the riff raft. My goodness. Well, they live kind of down there, like near Newberg, they live in like that area. And so I guess they come there for vacation in the summer, because it is cheap. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:21 It's a cheap thing and they rent these little cabins for whatever it is. Money. All of a sudden thing and they rent these little cabins for whatever it is. Money. All of a sudden, the guy next to me, big fucking dude, he goes, hey, hey, he tries to alpha, alpha male shit. There's nothing fucking sadder and funnier when somebody tries to be an alpha male and it doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Especially to a woman who doesn't give a fuck. When he tries to just, you know, make a look down, he's like, hey, hey, shut the hell up. And she went, fuck you motherfucker, how fucking kill you. You shut the fuck up. And all you heard, call the police, call the police. Oh, wow. That's, he goes to his wife, do you even call the police?
Starting point is 00:31:02 You got a phone motherfucker. He goes, call the police, call him right now. She's like, okay, okay. So they called the police, the fucking troopers come, kick him the fuck out. All you hear is, people going, I'll take all night to pack up motherfucker. They're just packing up their shit.
Starting point is 00:31:19 And then they roll through, I'm sitting by the fire, just me, nobody else is up. You see this caravan of fucking ghetto motherfuckers with just shit stuffed in their car because they couldn't roll up this shit, right? So they kicked out? Kicked the fuck out, middle of the night, like 12 o'clock at night.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Stay true, but so get the fuck out. I guess it was their second offense. Oh my God. So they kicked the fuck out. And then the guy comes up to me and says, I'm very stupid. The KOA dude, who's the sweetest guy, and he's like, I'm so... I'm so... I'm camping in America.
Starting point is 00:31:51 I'm camping in America with a K. That's what it's about. Three K's. Well, this fucking carried away. So yeah, it was crazy. After they left though, it was fucking awesome. We had such a blast until the thunderstorms last night. Well, do you were still there last night? Yeah, dude, I came from camping to here.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Wow. How was the thunderstorm in your tent? You guys were fine? Who was in a mess? No, it was fine. I mean, it's, you know, it's a little creepy because if it gets real bad, I'm sitting there going, I didn't really stay here, everything out too good. You know what I mean? I don't know how, I didn't really batten it down like a Marine. I just kind of put it up so we can stay in it, you know? But it was a blast.
Starting point is 00:32:32 It was the cheapest goddamn fucking vacation ever. When we got hamburgers hot dogs, love it. They had free pancakes. We had a cooler full of shit. We should all do this. We would love to we should go to that K.O.A. in August. What sounds like it's not painting a great picture of it. I'm telling you I talked to a guy He goes that's never happened. I've been here all the time
Starting point is 00:32:54 That was that one group of people but that could happen anywhere. I know but well you just said dude They got to high-erate the murder. It's murder city Why don't we go camping at Nont murder city? Well, here's the thing you just stay in the woods. You don't go into the city and then why don't we go camping at Nott Murder City. Well here's the thing you just stay in the woods you don't go into the city. I know what the people in the city they can crawl into the woods and get up to the ground. Jesus, it's like a reverse heart. It's like a reverse heart movie. It's like stay in the woods. But I mean like you'd better off in a hotel.
Starting point is 00:33:20 I mean attend you can just unzip. They're not secure. I didn't know. You're telling me this merrors. Yep, no. It's a high-crime rate, but this place says Newberg, but it's really, it's in like the township of Newberg, but it's off, it's in the woods, it's a far away.
Starting point is 00:33:35 It's far away. It's a tarry town. No, it's like an hour away from tarry town. Really? Yeah. We should do that. We should get a bunch of people, rent out all the cottages, and we we get some tents and go the fuck up there
Starting point is 00:33:46 Am I still not allowed to go camping you can come I could come this time. Yeah, I'm gonna be you can't come up Primitive cabin What I'm gonna be a new assistant cabin. I'll keep you safe cabin. Yeah You know what I mean? You know what I mean Joe's cabin people just get killed instantly Like Lewis could you talk to your aunt and uncle and tell them to quiet down? I'd be back. I bet you knew it was about the stab.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Somebody's like, Dad, I thought you died. I didn't so I had to go away. It was either you or they were going to kill you. That sounds more like Mike's family. Sorry, yeah. I wasn't put a ring in there. Your puppy. Yeah, that got better.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Puppy, I had to leave puppy. Is that better? He calls it son, puppy. Oh, sorry. Whoa, Julo, I don't have a family. What's the, what do they call them? Yo, nibblets. You nibblets.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Meo, meo. I think this is very offensive considering what's going on right now. Yo, meo, yo, meo, I had to go. I love this Mexican again. I didn't get out of Mexican. Puppy. I think it's only puppy. That's it. It's harder than it's ever been. It is puppy. It's puppy. Listen. Listen, Baba. Baba, do we? Baba, do we say Baba, do we? Baba, do we?
Starting point is 00:34:58 Yeah, it is fucking crazy. I gotta read this now. Mangrade, which I wish I fucking brought with me Listen, look at me in the eye, Michael. Do not let me leave without my man grade today. Okay. You got it? I have one on my grill, but I have another one too. What's a man grade? A man grade is, look it, it's the ultimate, ultimate. If you look over the ultimate steak house experience,
Starting point is 00:35:21 check out mangrade.com. The one and only 100% cast iron mangrate is perfect for anyone that loves the great taste of meat on the grill. For that perfect steakhouse taste, you need the mangrate. That's mangrate.com. Mangrate is chose juicy, tender meat with no flairbs, perfect sear mocks every single time you grill. That's it.
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Starting point is 00:36:20 and no matter what you are currently using, the man great will change it for the better. Each man-grate is eight pounds of raw cast iron, 100% American what design to fit the top on any virtual grilling surface? That means you can just take it, put it on your grill, bang your cooking, just take them out of the box, set them on the existing grill,
Starting point is 00:36:44 and get to grill and give yourself that gift you wish you got for Father's Day, and use code dad18 to get 40% off all grades and the custom heavy duty brushes at mangrate.com. That's mangrate.com. What'd you get for Father's Day, Bob? Yeah, how was it? I got a cup.
Starting point is 00:37:02 A cup? World's greatest dad. Like a protective? No, was it a ball cup? It was a cup. A cup? World's greatest dad. Like a protective? No, it was a baseball cup. It was like a little metal cup at the museum's, children's museum. They bought it to that weekend while you were there. Yeah, well Max goes, here's a cup.
Starting point is 00:37:18 You like it dad and I go, yeah, I do like it. Don't go, you like that cup? I go, yeah, she goes, okay, I'll get it for you. And I go, oh nice. She goes, happy father's day. And I was like, all right. Well, I was hoping for a fucking nut suck. Maybe a fucking, maybe a fucking hand job in the tent.
Starting point is 00:37:33 A nut suck. That's not anything. Like that, you never let? No. I don't understand all this ball business. What? Ha ha ha ha ha. That's no, I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Balls are sensitive, there's no nerve endings. That's horrible. What balls in a box? The balls in an accident? Why do you have no nerve endings? Why? I don't fuck to the... You can't have balls in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:37:53 I don't like an elbow. Yeah, what are you, what are you, a fucking showling monk? Why do your balls have no, this is the most sensitive, your balls. Yeah, the sensitive pain sensitive. Like if you flick in it, it hurts. Jesus, no, if you're flicking it. If it's pain sensitive, it's the other sensitive your bond yeah the sensitive pain sensitive like if you're flicking it hurt Jesus no if you're leaking it if it's pain sensitive it's it's the other sensitive to you can't have one in the other no you can no you can't so I miss feck I poke you in the eyeball with lingerie on you're gonna
Starting point is 00:38:15 know you sucked in my eye I fucking probably like a lot I'm gonna go on her how about only one way to find out. Sarah was like, I think I have conjunctivitis. I was on the road and she was like, my eyes are all fucked up and I was like, oh, that sucks and I looked it up and I was like, here, this could be it, this could be that.
Starting point is 00:38:34 And then like two days later, I was like, what's going on with the conjunctivitis? She's like, it went away and then she were like, her eyes were like, you know, blur, you even have like, your eyes are water, you're blurring the morning. She just took her fingers and rubbed her eyeballs without washing her.
Starting point is 00:38:46 So she just rubbed like fingers shit in her eyes. So for like two days, they were all wacky. I'm like, you can't just rub your fingers. That's what you get a pink eye from, from poo por from, I got it at the preschool, they worked at. You get your kids just rub your finger on it. You get kid pooping your eye.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Wow, something. You can't just put your fingers in. Children are filthy. No, you have to wash your feet. You're coming to the terrible. You have to wash your hands a million times of fucking day. You just have to. But you know, I got scabies once and I was dancing.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I don't know. What was his name? I got scabies. I'm applying the sexual demand. I'm just going to say that. Scabies. I'm applying the sex with a man. I mean, wait a what I say. I in the bed. Is that real sketch? Sheets. Yeah. Oh, the underneath looks like a penis. Oh, show some photos. Show some photos. Yeah, images. I really hate what. Oh, that's not so bad. That's bad on that guy's hand. My goodness. Wait a
Starting point is 00:39:44 second. That's not what I had. That's the cover of a tiny million people. Oh, there it is right there. The one, the Dr. Scabies. Dr. Scabies. To the right, where it says, yeah, that. I don't think that's a real doctor. Yeah, why didn't get it like that?
Starting point is 00:39:56 I got it. Oh, my goodness. You had my Irish uncles back. Oh. I went, I got to the fancy hotel too. I'm not going to name the club because I don't want to hold the hotel but can you say what city it's in? Nope. Michael. No. So I went to the I lie down beautiful hotel. I mean luxury four star. I lie down the bed and I was sudden I fucking like what the right away not right away, but like that night
Starting point is 00:40:28 I was like what the fuck is that and I thought I just got a rash and then you said I'm just being a rational and Shhh Um um That's the Jetsons vehicle we know we get it But that's a dead-on impression. I know we've heard it It's been a while. It's been at least a year ring ring. That's my phone get it I I Joe lists on the show Gabby if you ever book the same guys this is saying it's I'm talking about who's coming on back
Starting point is 00:41:10 So all second I was those Andrew and Justin Silva. Yeah, it was a Sam I got to have Andrew here with with Katie or Justin with you know I can I'm getting you spine you just set it on the podcast you can't go back Now we have something to talk about off air. Why don't you like him? I just don't I don't look at me Stop it. I don't dislike him. I just don't like him So neutral don't you feel that way about everybody? I like Joe. Thank you. Remember, I never want to run my show again.
Starting point is 00:41:51 This is Ramos Radeglis. She's just like me. She's like me. She's like me. She's like me. I love you. I told you that earlier. That's all I wanted. When you walked in, I said, Bobby, I love it. You said something. I love you. I love you too. I said, how are you doing? I just shut up. I'm trying to get love from Katie. I love you too Kitty. I really do. I just wanted some love
Starting point is 00:42:10 Oh, I've been in the woods with my wife and child When nature my child and my wife you got a cup for father's day though. I actually had The most amazing in the woods. Sex? No, we didn't have any sex. She was on the rag. I had sex in a tent once. Don't say on the rag.
Starting point is 00:42:32 I had sex in a tent once. Of course you did. Here we go. Was it intense? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How many guys?
Starting point is 00:42:41 One. Six. Six. I've never been camping before. You've never been camping? No. Gabby, we should set up a YKWD camping trip. Yes. We take over this fucking place. Okay. And we go up there and we get cabins. And we'll, who does have a tent? They can have a cabin. And then we'll get them all on the same cluster. Mm-hmm. Cluster is a, I don't like that. Why? It's just the same area.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Rash. Yeah, there's a term to use for herpes. Anyway, it's cluster. That fucking scabies I had to get a cream to put on it went right away, but I got it from a fancy the sheets. Maybe the maid had it on her hand or something. Oh, I mean the mattress because if you change the sheets, they live in the mattress, don't they? Oh, fucking throw up. It makes me sick. Because now is then the sheets, they live in the mattress, don't they? Oh, fuckin' throw up. It makes me sick. Because now is, then after that, because it was such a nice hotel, it was fucked. Because every hotel, I had to, I put something down.
Starting point is 00:43:34 Get creeped out. I got creeped the fuck out. I never get, I'll lie right on the dirt near dog shit. I'll sleep. I don't get what fuck. I've slept on park benches. I've slept in hay. I've slept on park benches. I've slept in hay I've slept next to fucking gorillas
Starting point is 00:43:57 Sleep anywhere But anyways, let's set up that can't be true. That'd be fun, right? I love to get I got that tent. It was expensive. I want to do some more stuff with it. Well, we got that new tent. Yes, so new tent. I actually hope, no, not the new tent. Oh, I can't stand them. I can't. I can't.
Starting point is 00:44:14 You love them. I love both of these guys so much, but I can't. They're a lot together and by a lot, I mean, a little. So listen, I love that she keeps looking at you like, you're on my show too, you know? Dude the new hand me and me with the bushcraft party boys. Yes, which we're doing again One of yeah, you're one of the founding members. Yes. Thank you. Um, do you see the video I put up? I did yes Okay, well
Starting point is 00:44:38 I'm always afraid that people don't realize that I'm joking though about what because we do the whole thing We're like so quiet. There's nobody around and then I said vocally loudly. I? Because we do the whole thing where you're like, so quiet, there's nobody around. And then I said, vocally, loudly, I gotta do it on the late night. I think people think that I'm a dick ruining the hang. They don't realize I'm a fucking brilliant comedian. One of the things, listen to me, you understand, one of the people think you're a dick.
Starting point is 00:44:57 It was one of the same person. One of the funniest things of the trip was where four miles from anywhere, four hour walk from anywhere. There's not you can't hear anybody else. I was about 30 minutes in the parking lot. I could see the car. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's a, it's a four-hour Bobby walk. Okay, I'll give him that. Joe has a very long gate. How about those chicken palms with a lady with the breasts? That was great.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Sorry, I'm all over the place. It was a fun trip. So we're sitting there, I mean, there's no quiet in the world like being in front of a fire and the woods. Or the audience during Lewis's set. And we're sitting there and it's, I mean, you can't hear anything but the animals around you and the woods and yourselves. And I was like, oh my god, this is so amazing on the video. And then Joe was like, I gotta do another late night set.
Starting point is 00:46:04 One of the funniest things in the trip. It was a gag. It was hilarious. But if you listen carefully, you hear Ari go, why? Yeah, Ari didn't know. He took it serious. No, he wasn't. He was kidding. No, he wasn't.
Starting point is 00:46:17 He was like, what do you mean? You have to do another one? No, he was like, no. Anyways. He's nice. Yeah, I was sitting by the fire last night. In the rain, like it was under the. Yeah, I was sitting by the fire last night in the rain. Like it was under the fire, but it was like trees,
Starting point is 00:46:28 so I wasn't getting too wet, having a cup of tea at around 12 o'clock at night. I don't know if there's anything, you can't think more clearly. When there's no phone, there's no internet, there's no options except your own brain and you in the woods. It's one of the greatest things. It's the scariest thing I've ever done options, accept your own brain and you in the woods.
Starting point is 00:46:45 It's one of the greatest things. It's the scariest thing I've ever done because your brain starts really thinking of shit, like your insecurities and your fucked upness and the bad things you've done. And then you get bad things you've done. Not woman you killed. Well, it's not. In a tent. No, you start thinking about, like, how much,
Starting point is 00:47:07 you start thinking about all your responsibilities, it means least me, all the responsibilities I have now. And I was thinking about when I was your age and I didn't, the only responsibility I had was me. And I could do whatever the fuck I wanted and I felt like I did more. And now that I have a kid and a wife, I have to go get dinner, I have to make a food,
Starting point is 00:47:29 I have to clean his asshole, I have to go play with him. There's all these things I don't have to do, but I want to do and I have fun doing. But then all the other, I have these little time right at the end of the night when everybody's a bed and I'm sitting there by myself and it's the only time that I can just think.
Starting point is 00:47:47 I mean, even when I go to bed at home, there's a TV, there's 900 channels, there's shows I haven't watched, there's a shed, there's cigars, she's in the bed, she wants to talk and ask questions, what are you doing tomorrow, what's going on? We gotta do this, he's gotta me, he might get up and it's just like being in the woods,
Starting point is 00:48:02 that's why I love him, we did it. We were so not near anything that it was the most cleansing thing for my brain you could possibly have because there's nothing. You have no options. It was like going back in time 30 years ago when you were just a kid and there was no options at night. You sat there. You didn't have TV.
Starting point is 00:48:22 There was three stations. You went to bed or you sat in your room, you played in the dirt, you went in the backyard, you went to the park. Oh, masturbated. Oh, masturbated, your friends. Have you guys heard the womanizer stuff? I haven't tried it, but I did look it up.
Starting point is 00:48:36 I don't even know what that is. Yeah, I've looked it up too. Park Norman is new doll. She listens. It's a suction cup for your glideris and it sucks it like this. Yeah, and that's what a piece of shit you are. I'm really talking about some meaningful shit. I'm trying to be, I'm trying to talk about like the woods.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Yeah, thank you. Have you ever tried to fucking what is it? The woman eyes, the womanizer 400. And Nikki Glazer, Nikki Glazer was saying on our live podcast check out the picture on it's only three books. Oh my God, I can't stand it. It's just plug-orce. But she said it was unbelievable and you know, fuck,
Starting point is 00:49:18 he is squirt and you fart and it's crazy. And I'm thinking about getting one. What, how was that Evan? He didn't fucking do with what I was talking about in the woods. Why is it getting something to do in the woods? No, he's going off the grid. He's going off the grid. I'm talking about this no grid.
Starting point is 00:49:32 I'm talking vibrator. But I'm talking about, you think I'm going to bring a vibrator with my family on the woods? I thought I was going to go, what are you doing? I thought you finished your sad dad monologue. I thought we could move on to some other business. Well, we said masturbating. This is why I'm masturbating. I was horny. I want to quit. I want to quit everything I'm so done, but you shit people. I'm just done with you shit people. It's a valid question
Starting point is 00:49:55 It's not about your wife would love it. There's not even a segue. It's not even a segue for my shitty years ago You sat you listened to radio you thought oh you masturbate and I'm saying oh masturbate yes and Have you masturbated with the woman? I'm sorry. I've been it by doctors. Yes, that's true. I Hate that you both have a Apple it's like being attacked from all corners But I'm saying you should get a for dawn from others day. I'm not buying a vibe. I have a five year old.
Starting point is 00:50:25 It will be a toy about two seconds. It's not really a vibrator. It's like a suction. Yeah, it's a new thing. And I'm gonna come out and it's gonna be maxing it and be putting it on his head. Go, Dad, look at my new gun. It's not happening. It's not a suction cup. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? It's not happening. What's going on? Both the woman eyes are 400.
Starting point is 00:50:40 It's not available on Amazon right now. It's like 160 bucks. No, no, there's one that's like 80 bucks. It's because Nikki Glazer talked about it and it's available on Amazon right now. It's like 160 bucks. No, no, there's one that's like 80 bucks Niki glazer talked about it and it's fucking gone. So that's it looks like a toothbrush. Yeah, it looks like a ear thermometer Yeah, I have a fever. See this is an illustration. It just sucks. It nibbles on your little You know cut and you're not nibbles on a clip me Yeah, no, but this doesn't cut it. It'll learn. How does it do it better?
Starting point is 00:51:08 You have great lips. You have a John Henry of this situation. What if you, what if your lips are in the same place? What if your Clint is fucking huge? I don't know. What if? Call in. The number is, I'm 17, 261, 683.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Yes, Colin, if you've used the womanizer and if you have a gigantic clip or both But you're the suspectacular. Don't you think Bobby's lips are unbelievable. Yes, I think they're quite nice I think it looks nice to quite nice downplay It's beautiful Anyways, we have I wanted to talk about those hammocks we got if I could take any Persons body any person in the world's body part of place my wife's body But with someone's but I wouldn't pick any woman. Yeah, I'd pick those lips put them on my wife's body But not the mouth
Starting point is 00:51:52 Just the lips. What about the mouth? Yeah, the mouse a little weird. We'll be fucking your wife and you're gonna be like Look at the eyes of dude put it on my credit nibble on my clip dude that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that AMOK, the Dramar 3.0, they sent me Ari and Joe one of these tents. I mean, a hammock. The only hammock you can actually lie down flat on your side, your stomach. It has a built-in mosquito net. It has a tarp that goes over to so if it rains, you can do this. They sent us the insulated padding for the bottom. So even in the winter, you can use these in the it they sent us the insulated padding I can't wait for the bottom
Starting point is 00:52:45 So even in the winter you can use these in the winter All year round four season hammock tents that four seasons. Yeah, so you know the one it's unbelievable Next pushcraft party boys we go on we're gonna be using these tents I'm gonna find a spot where we're gonna have a bunch of pine trees and stuff So we're not gonna be on the ground, we're gonna be videotaping it and checking out these tents. I actually hung mine in my backyard, dude. You can pull the sides and it sits up like a chair.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Wow. So we can all put them around the campfire and kind of sit in our hammocks. I can't wait. I just do it. And then let it go and you can lie flat. Flat. Flat.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Flat. No way. I can't wait. Head shit and then let it go and you can lie flat I can't wait so amic if you I mean I can I I slept in mine I this how weird I am I came home last week from doing spots and it was set up in the backyard I came up like 12 a midnight and I went into my backyard and crawled into this and I was sleeping I slept for like an hour outside Sorry, I'm a couple hello and crawled into this and I was sleeping. I slept for like an hour outside. It's very, very imicable. Hello. Can I go on Bushwick, Bushwick? Bushwick, Bushwick, Bushwick,
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'm gonna tell you why. Yeah, put your tent up in Bushwick. Don't you live in Bushwick? No. Isn't that what they call you of the judge? Of a judge? They call it Bushwick. Yes.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Can I go on Bushcraft Party Boys if Katie comes? No, I don't want Katie and Bush. Come on, it'll even it out. You can't have Joe and Joe, a girl version of Joe and but come on. It'll even it out you can't have Joe and Joe a girl version of Joe You got here's thing we'll do K.O.A. push craft. Yeah, but that's better You just women I gotta remember my wife. How about this just me Bobby and Gabby and no one else I have to be part of get a pedicure. I have to be part of- I have to be part of everything. Listen, she's not even a camper.
Starting point is 00:54:29 She has to be get dirty. I'm gonna do a- I'm from India. I'm from the first place of the cave. It's like India. Yes, I was thinking about it. She's from India. She's from India.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I just got cast in a shoot where it's gonna be- it's shooting in Vermont on location and it's about a bunch of hipsters and terrible people from Park Slope who decide to go off the grid and they're living in the woods and There's like predicaments and stuff. So there you go. So she's gonna do that go do that with her. Is it reality or is it true? It's scripted. It's like a pilot. Oh, that sounds fun. That sounds fun. So after you do that Let us know if you handled it well and then maybe you can maybe you I'm not bringing a novice that what you just do we're doing we're out in the middle of nowhere We you have to have some skills you had a gourmet meal because we're fucking skill bush crafters
Starting point is 00:55:13 I just I don't even want to go actually because I don't want to piss in the woods That's most of my head shit in the woods, too. Okay. I have shit. Are you gonna go? No? You don't care about shitting in the woods Bob is the only one that shit you can go a day without shitting Yeah, I can hold my shit for up to three days Are you gonna go? No. You don't care about shitting in the woods. Bobby's the only one that's shit. You can go a day without shitting. Yeah, I can hold my shit for up to three days. I sh- I sh- I sh-
Starting point is 00:55:29 I'm monster shit in the woods. It was like, when I squatted down, it was like my ass was like, I've been waiting to be in this position. Did you dig a cat hole? Yes, of course you have to. It's the only thing that scared the coyotes away. Speaking of cat holes, the womanizer.
Starting point is 00:55:42 400. Wow. Talking about stinking. Tell me about taking a big shit on my podcast. Yes, so you'd have to share. You gonna be able to, I mean, what have you? No, I'm not gonna go. You can come.
Starting point is 00:55:57 No, you don't want me to. I do want you to go, but as long as you know that it's not gonna be fucking easy, we're gonna be dirty and smelly and fucked up You can come if you use the womanizer 400 Available now. Stop promoting that they don't fucking give me money. But maybe they'll send us three. I don't Buy you one if you shut the fuck up about it. Let's go Ask me video it for the patreon. What? We'll go to the store. We'll get one
Starting point is 00:56:20 We'll video a lot of high drinks. We're gonna video what using a fucking store will get one video a lot of high drinks. We're gonna video what using a fucking 30,000? Going to purchase it we ask questions we have some who has and some laughs. We're in the middle of a podcast right now. I said after the show numb nuts. I don't have time I gotta go.
Starting point is 00:56:35 All right fine. I parked at 93rds 96th Street. 96 why? Because that way I beat all the traffic instead of sitting in traffic all the way up there. I go all the way up on the train, cut up. That's smart. Who's that idea was that?
Starting point is 00:56:46 That was Tom Cotter's idea. I had a feeling it might not be yours. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I hate it. So yeah, amic.com, go get one of these. If you 200 bucks and then another 200 for the pad and then another 150 for the tarp, the whole setup is around 500 something bucks. Worth it.
Starting point is 00:57:05 I can't wait to use a bushcraft body voice. It's happening again. Me and you were taking Paul Verzi, right? I don't know. You wanna go on that one? You didn't give me a date. I don't know. Well listen.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Gabby doesn't wanna go now. All right, fuck it though. Now you look at fucking fat chick. You just got me to ask you out again and now you're like, I don't think I wanna go. I'll go. Then are you gonna go or not? Let her go. I don't think you want me to go. I'll go. Then are you gonna go or not? Let her go.
Starting point is 00:57:25 I don't think you want me to go. Let her go. Gabby, I just don't want you to be in a situation. I'm very protective of you. I know. I don't want you to be in a situation where you're uncomfortable, where we have to leave. If we get to him and you're like,
Starting point is 00:57:38 I gotta go. I'm gonna tell you something. My cousin, she's an actress in LA. Beautiful. Natalie Portman. No name I see the resemblance No, it's the lips I don't know she is I'm not gonna give you a name, but she's beautiful actress. She's really just a great actress sings. I mean a knockout
Starting point is 00:58:03 Her name is Christine, out in LA. We were doing run-in? No, running in Canyon, me and Dane, back when I was in shape around eight years ago. We would go up, not the easy side where all the actors go. We went up the hard way, right? To the left. From the boom mic operators go.
Starting point is 00:58:17 And we go. Ha ha ha. I just wasn't prepared for this show. I understand it. I get it. If I just thought about it, I would have been in the middle. You came in high. I think it's a fun show.
Starting point is 00:58:31 We're not fighting. There's not everything's nice. It's a fun, great show. All right. Can I be part of it, too, without explaining? You gave a whole speech about how you dream at night and you used to fucking, you had dreams. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:43 The speech was a little much. Maybe there was from my one-on-ones. I can't say this. I want you to finish this speech about Gabby being fucking weak and stupid. And then I wanted to be like, no, I can do it. And I hope you snap your ankle a hundred yards in. We have to drag you out of there. And Gabby just puts you on fireman characters.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Here's the story, ready? Is that we go up the hard way. No, she's in shape. She's, you know, no problem. Just let's go. She gets up to the top of the thing. She almost, we almost had a call in ambulance because it was hot and she wasn't prepared for that.
Starting point is 00:59:17 She got dehydrated. It was a fucking nightmare. She turned pale white. We had a stop back. I'm already there. Huh? Pale white. We had to stop back. I'm already there. Huh? Pale white. She was bad.
Starting point is 00:59:27 She almost died. Something happened. So I don't want to bring you into a situation where you're like, I don't want to fucking be here. We need to go home. Like if you camp and you go out in the middle of the night and stay over and you're cool with that, you can come. I don't give a shit.
Starting point is 00:59:42 But if you're gonna go out there and go, guys, if hear coyotes you're gonna fucking cry like me Joe cried yeah that's what I need I don't want two people crying I didn't cry oh my god you nerve-racking shit your tent your tent wasivering. And then the next day it felt good, because you guys were like, that was shit in my pants also. I'm just more open with my feelings and emotions. I wasn't shit in that, my bushcraft knife on my chest and bear spray.
Starting point is 01:00:14 That's such a lie. I was sitting there like, Oh that's true, but you were scared. I was scared, of course it was a pack of coyotes, but I wasn't as scared as you. How about the bobcat in Seattle? There's been a couple of attacks, Kougar and Bobcat attacks, and then they went and killed,
Starting point is 01:00:28 did you read that story? They went and killed the Kougar, a Kougar attacked a guy who was hiking, then they went and found the Kougar and killed it. They have to, but you're in the wild. How do they know? It's the same one. I don't know, maybe.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Because once the animal kills a human and has no fear of human It will just keep killing human. Uh-huh. It will just keep tears. They have to take it. What a bear attacks a human They have to take it out because now it has no fear the one thing you have over a bear or a cougar is that they're kind of like what the fuck my wife's the cougar and She's not Oh, yeah, she is I was you knew that so you're applying that she's not attractive kill older women I love Joe attacks Joe Joe Joe So no, I'm not saying that she's not attractive. I'm saying that I didn't know she was older than you so you're attracted to my wife
Starting point is 01:01:22 I am attracted to you. That's a beautiful lady. I'm attracted. Sarah. She looks so pretty at the wedding was older than you. So you're attracted to my wife. I am attracted to your wife. That's a beautiful lady. I'm attracted to you. Hi Sarah. She looks so pretty at the wedding. Oh my God. Thank you. Yeah, you have to kill it. Why not?
Starting point is 01:01:31 Why would you kill? Would you kill a fuku-ger? We're hiking. And a kuga comes out and attacks. No, no, if you kill the kuga in the moment, if you're getting attacked by a kuga, you kill it. That's one thing. All right.
Starting point is 01:01:41 I just think it's weird to be like, it's like if you put a dog down. Right. That's like a supposed to be domesticated., it's like if you put a dog down. Right. That's like a, it's supposed to be domesticated, but it's like if you go into the woods, aren't you taking the risk of getting killed by an animal? In the woods. But you know what I do know is that,
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Starting point is 01:02:24 They offer live in-game wadring. You can make plays throughout the entire game and events, TV, it's crazy. BetTSI offers odds on pretty much everything else too, including golf, major sports, politics. Oh my god, you can bet on politics now. How fucking crazy is that? That's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:02:44 It looks like it's for a bit. Reality TV shows. What? That's nuts. Pretty much everything you want. How about Joe's marriage? Bet the house baby. We've never been better.
Starting point is 01:02:56 And she's old. I mean, she's got 20 years. I would suck if she really did die in 20 years. Yeah. I play that myself. I do. I actually, I signed up for it. I'm gonna start doing this.
Starting point is 01:03:11 I'm gonna check out some betting. I'm gonna treat the stock market. I'm gonna fuck with betting a little bit. I'm not a gambler. It's fun. It is fun. Future bets are fun. Did they do future bets?
Starting point is 01:03:22 They do everything. Yeah, there was a fun. Here it is. Bebet DSI. If you want to add a little excitement to the games you are watching anyways, here's a little thing. This is what I was thinking, because I watched these UFC fights. I would love to throw a little wager.
Starting point is 01:03:36 It's pretty cool. Even if you don't like sports, this is how you can have fun watching the World Cup and have the funnest workout of your life. Then on these games go there. Go there. Nigeria. Yeah, if you're working out and you're watching the game, the World Cup, you can place a little wager like Nigeria versus Argentina on June 26th at 2 p.m. or Mexico, Mike, his
Starting point is 01:04:01 people, the bullfighters, they still kill bulls. Why? It seems unethical. It's really terrible. So Mike, his people, the bullfighters, they still kill bulls, why? It seems unethical. It's really terrible. Can you bet on Lewis? I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it.
Starting point is 01:04:16 I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it.
Starting point is 01:04:24 I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose it. I mean, I'm going to lose. June 27th, that's it. Oh yeah. That's woof. I wish they could better have rose battles. That'd be great. June 27th at 10 am. So go there, check it out. UFC, Fight Night, Cowboy versus Seroni. I mean, Cowboy, Seroni versus Edwards. Wow, you can bet on UFC fights.
Starting point is 01:04:42 How great is this? So you can bet on Lewis. You can bet on Los Battle Actually. You can bet on Los Battle Actually. You can bet on Rose Battle. That's cool. On Bet DSI. During the tournament is usually that.
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Starting point is 01:05:40 The Dom's in Maulden. Maulden I meant all the same. I actually talked to Dominic a sweet guy. We're going to be giving away A bag of steak tips to my fans of my wife at WD Okay, here's what you do You got an email why KWD at Ryecast calm, can we participate? I can't do the show why KW producer at Ryecast Thank you. That's why you guys new producer? Why can we? I KWD producer at ryecast.com.
Starting point is 01:06:05 Thank you, that's why you guys run the show and I just show up. I'm talent. Am I allowed to participate from part of the show? You can show up. You love St.Tex. I KWD producer at ryecast.com.
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Starting point is 01:07:17 Welcome back, everybody. It's rocking Joe down here with the boys and the girls all being wacky. How are you listening to it, you know what, dude. Brought to you by the womanizer, 400. It's not, it's not. Please stop saying that. Sense um. What, don't send any.
Starting point is 01:07:37 I don't wanna use a, a, a, a clit nibbler on my wife. Well, you could still be inserted in there. What? How? Will you, and then? Yeah, it's just for the clitoris. I watched a video, but I am broke. So I haven't ordered it. We can watch a video. I don't think so. It will get we'll get flagged on the YouTube.
Starting point is 01:07:55 What you call me flagged. Oh, um, do you say that? Plegged? I can't. So, so you put it on your clitoris. Oh wow. I don't know. Wow, I remember it forcefully. Jesus Christ. I used to throw that and it like fuck off. Well it felt it was a real swinging a miss. It kept swinging though.
Starting point is 01:08:18 It's not really. Nobody, I was swinging. There was no balls coming at me. I don't think I'd like to use it. First of all, I think that if you got one of those, just to see the white tip change colors. There's a little on YouTube, I'll bring it up. Yeah, pull it up.
Starting point is 01:08:33 What white tip? Well, the tip of its white, right? So you put the tip of the clippin' the nibbler. I think Don's got some problems. Well, no, that happens with anybody. You pussy changes the color of the fucking big. I don't like coming in a mirror, you know? I can't see it.
Starting point is 01:08:49 What did you say? You're like coming in a mirror. A mirror? Oh, you're talking about the tip of the fucking mechanism. Yeah, the tip of the mechanism. I thought you meant the coutaurus. Yeah. Let's watch this.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Well, I was confused. Let's see, let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's go. Sound up, make it big. Yeah. Oh, make it small. Whatever you want. Let's see what this is. Yeah, oh make it small whatever you make me big Stop stop stop. What comes in pace? See I love this is a lace. This is a lace very nice
Starting point is 01:09:14 Very nice pattern Classy clip stuff. It's kind of it's kind of Japanese. I feel like a spaceship with this music. It's a novel though I don't want to read a novel. Yeah, like your dad could have those jeans on You're in a concert if you wanted to. That's true. Right. Yeah, he has shirt like that. I'm sure he does maybe a piano cover. All right All right, hit it Stop stop that looks like a muppet's foot Yeah, looks like someone just pull the foot off a toy Oh, good. What?
Starting point is 01:10:01 What? What? What else? Fuck it. Yeah. It's exactly like Dr. Hedgehog's foot. Yeah. Exactly, that's fucking weird, man.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Now let's see the white, the white of it. I would imagine. The sock. Now listen, I have, you put anything in your mouth, you put something on your vagina, those juices are gonna kind of eat away, it's some stuff. No, no, it's horrible. You some stuff. No, you have to clean it You should always clean this choice and it's designed to do this
Starting point is 01:10:29 You know you don't want to get skabies. There's a lot of girls They've used that and just throw it on the ground. It's gonna at least nasty ladies Cosset like oh god and uh So what when you're done you have to get up and clean that right away? Every time no you can clean a vibrate later. Well, you should get up to go pee anyway if you're a gal, because you don't want to get a UTI. Yeah, they got run the pee. What is that? What is that? A urinary tract infection. I know that. Oh, God. Why do you, so if you had one?
Starting point is 01:10:57 Every time I had one. You had to. If you have sex and then you pee, your urine sterilizes your urethra and helps if any bacteria is in there. So if a guy has some funk on his dick. If he has a dirty dick or if you just have, if your taint is dirty, the bacteria can crawl up. I read that on the internet. Your taint.
Starting point is 01:11:20 I've read that too. From your taint or his taint? Both taint. Either or. Double taint. Double taint. All taint. So the taint. Hasht from your taint or his taint both taints I know it's either or or both all taints can get all taints I've got all taints they're tainted. Yeah, it'll taint your wagon. See no whirling's taints. What's a wagon? You know, oh, so you so your asshole can fucking fuck up your vagina Yeah, that's why you always wipe front to back if you're a girl. Yeah, my wife runs to the bathroom too quick
Starting point is 01:11:44 Like I'm like I'm coming, she's just gone. I'm like, I'm in a minute. She's hungry. She goes before you have sex. Don't have sex. I have to pee. He's, then I have kids because he's going to keep coming in his own face.
Starting point is 01:11:56 She's just going to jump off. Good. I admit that. I have right here. That's right. But anyways, you clean. And the mechanism like this, you're not just tossing aside. This is Primo.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Yeah, it has a case. What does that mean? Everything has a case. It's all like it's getting sued. Yeah. I'm neat. I'm kind of excited, Katie was on that one. That was a good one.
Starting point is 01:12:19 All right, let's see the right. Can I want to see it vagina here? Ready? I don't think they show a vagina. They just put it on a peach. Oh, stop, stop, stop. What is that glow? Why is it glowing at the top? What is that? That's the love. It's God.
Starting point is 01:12:35 No, what is the glow? This is lighting. Oh, okay. That's not like a heat thing. That's exactly what my clitoris looks like, right the way. That's a good size. It's huge. It looks like a heat thing. That's exactly what my clitoris looks like by the way. That's a good size. It's huge. It looks like a pimple.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Are you talking about the machine or the drawing on the right? Yeah, your clitoris looks like hay in the fields. It's just three lines. That's my body. Yeah. It's an Alfred Titchcock silhouette right there. It looks like Mike's hairline.
Starting point is 01:13:04 It's better than that. Wow, those three hairs. I like the Hitchcock by the way way over there. Looks like Mike's hairline. What's better than that? Wow, those three hairs. I like the Hitchcock, by the way. Yeah, we use that. Thank you. I can. Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop. So that was the clip.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Yeah. So the other two lines. The thing they will clip. The other two lines are like legs. That's like where the leg meets the... Mike just went the thing label clip. No, listen, I know Mike says funny shit all the time on this show, and nobody hears it.
Starting point is 01:13:28 Yeah, he did the Hitchcock thing. Yeah, but nobody heard it. Look, a Hitchvatch. We all have to go, that was a good one. The one labeled, click it. Hey, Mike, you did it. You're great. You look pretty good.
Starting point is 01:13:39 He actually didn't. Go ahead. Ugh. I was like, oh, there's a voice. Okay, let's see what that is. Oh, there's a voice. Yeah, let's see what that is. Yeah, that's nice. And Michael the on button is a dime.
Starting point is 01:13:57 Stop! Oh my god, it's three different type of fucking... You see? Like there's a Jersey Shore one. If they sent an animal print, that would be great. Yeah, there's a robot one, there's a Jersey Shore one if they sent a Animal print that would be great. Yeah, there's a robot one. There's a Jersey show one and then there's the That's the old harlot Why is there a diamond on it and is it real? Because it's fancy women love diamonds
Starting point is 01:14:20 Diamonds are girls best friend. Why do they have to put a fake diamond on it? Because I won't buy it. I really want it. Let me put your engagement ring in the... You won't buy it. If you let... Have you seen what you got down on one knee? Then you put your hand to the that, you...
Starting point is 01:14:40 And it stuck on your palm. That's nibbling the fat of your thumb muscle. I read, you can actually use it on the backside of your penis. What do you mean the backside of your penis? Well, the front, whatever side, the stimulating side. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Under the head kind of thing?
Starting point is 01:14:56 Yes. That would not feel good on your penis. Yeah, because it gives it a little nibble. Not the tip of your dick. Oh, look at this. Yeah, not the peahole, my goodness. Yeah, that would be. I just can't get over it. Not the peo, my goodness. Yeah, that would be. I just can't get over it.
Starting point is 01:15:07 It really does look like just shoes. The trolls. Alright, shoot gasm. Oh. The woman is trying to delight. I love that they named it stop. They loved it, they named it a misogynistic thing. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 01:15:24 It's kind of like, what the fuck are you saying? The woman night, the man- Wait, wait, wait. Sometimes it's fun to be used. Yeah, take back the night. Great job, Mike. Thank you. Thank you, Joel.
Starting point is 01:15:43 We ride that one. Thank you, Joe. Free ride that one. By the way, is it a little token here or mine? No, you're an asshole. I don't know, you're an asshole. I think it was the womanizer commercial. I feel it too. I'm having a hot flash.
Starting point is 01:15:58 I don't know about that. You hold it like that. You hold it and you mush it. It's not, here's a problem. You mush, you just put it on there. How are you gonna get your dick on there? How are you gonna get your dick in? Very small dick.
Starting point is 01:16:09 Okay, this is flipped. This is wrong. Long, long, long woman. All right, go back, go back. I want to see the way they put it on. Go back to where. Yeah, see that's up like that. So you're dick is underneath.
Starting point is 01:16:18 You got the ankles up here and then you're, and then that's on the other side. Now what if she is a vibrator? What if a clits big? Well women have different size clits not every clue That hole is pretty big. It's a big hole. I fucking sucks it right in No, it's it's supposed to be I actually read an article about this it's supposed to be like a little vacuum It sucks it. Yeah, so why can't I just get my fucking vacuum that I have a Dyson that's dangerous if I get a Dyson and I just alter it and kind of come up with like what if I get like a
Starting point is 01:16:46 PVC pipe small version feels like an urban legends and then if I get like if I get an old pocketbook leather and Then and I make a little mouth. Oh, yeah, it's not gonna pull say it. Do you do? Why? Yeah, why do you write do I I vibr vibrator on oh god in the YouTube thing In the YouTube thing he just wrote it down Where are you going oh she's going to mad. Oh god See okay there you go vibrator scroll down There you can use all kind of hyper Seven safe ways to have an orgasm.
Starting point is 01:17:25 Oh, yes, booms. What's a spoon? You not a do that? No, I was just, I thought you were a con- I thought you were a con- No, I'm a brute. I just brought the spoon against your clit. That's all I was saying.
Starting point is 01:17:35 You can't really masturbate with anything, I guess. Sarah tried to use a phone, like there's like an app on your phone that you can that will vibrate for you. But it wasn't strong enough, and then her phone just smelled like pussy. That's how she got pink guy and then she got pink guy and pink here. How do I use the jigsaw fucked up? I'm just not be saying it.
Starting point is 01:17:56 How long do they know? Yeah then you just have a pussy phone and no one has them. But could you take the case off? I don't know it doesn't like it doesn't have enough, you need some stank on it. So why fucking like? She did have some stank on it. So she was gone.
Starting point is 01:18:11 You need a good fucking, ummm. I know a lot about the female anatomy. Scroll down Michael, look for some good ones. The spoons is bullshit. What do you mean the spoons, how do you, how do you, Alex Elvin made one? Oh yeah, let's see, the transform your phone into a vibrator go. Okay. This sounds good. Oh, it's an ad. It's a two and a half minute ad. All right, we'll just play it and then come back to it. I used, you know what I use
Starting point is 01:18:36 once I'm in a jam. I went to CVS and got an electric toothbrush and put a little baggy over the end of it. But that's not strong enough either. It was pretty strong. Two AA batteries? It's pretty good. Two AA batteries? I don't know. Two brush? I don't know how I would feel if I was seeing someone
Starting point is 01:18:52 and they ran out of game bag with the damn craft. If you like, I'm dry. Well, how about we brush a teeth with it at the end? Yeah, that's not gonna be your gums. Wow, I had a baggy over it. Like a ziplock. No, I mean two batteries. That's gonna be too much on your teeth That's gonna stop two batteries as a lot as we go Is this the whole thing? There's like a half hour video. It's just them talking about it. Oh fuck them you guys guys suck suck it asshole Yeah, I mean, I don't know about you. Is it a fucking vibrator anymore? Why I don't know wouldn't she just want that?
Starting point is 01:19:33 No, what you gonna be in rather than the guy or a vibrator? Well, it depends but a vibrator can't really hold you, you know, it can't be like you're not alone No, I'm saying this is for you can use both in a relationship at the same time. You're inside. Do you feel that way? Do you feel that way? Um, well, sometime, I mean, I have a vibrator that I use. I have a rabbit, which is like everyone has that. That's like the standard vibrator. But like I still like want to, you know, like be in love. But do you, do you want a guy to just have sex with you or do you want him to use toys and have sex with you? Well, sometimes just have sex and then sometimes use toys. So
Starting point is 01:20:11 I am a myriad, but you need clitoris. No, different times call for different things. But don't you need clitoris stimulation to get some orgasm going. I'll get some pleasure going. And don't you mean something in your vagina with the clitoris stimulation? You can't just have clitoris stimulation. Yeah, but I mean, it's like there's like so many different, there's so many different ways. Like sometimes you just wanna have sex
Starting point is 01:20:35 just because you love the person. You don't even care if you come. Sometimes I've come from just having sex. Sometimes I have had sex and then like, you know, I don't wanna get too graphic while Mike's looking at me, because that's freaking me out. I tried to look this way during a sex talk. I'm very respectful.
Starting point is 01:20:52 I'm very respectful. Never, never look at Mike's. I'm gonna be responsible. But yeah, there's like a different... Mike, could you leave me want to hear about Katie's sex life when you're making everyone a couple? Wait, I did use one as a cock ring that that was it had like a little rabbit on the top So that was like a clitoral stimulator, but it didn't really work because it was too it was too much
Starting point is 01:21:12 Once I my wife got a vibrator and there was a cock ring inside and I was I tried to put it on for literally 45 minutes I was sweating. I couldn't get it on finally we realized it was just the piece of leather that held the dip. Another deal with the caulkron. I had not a caulkron. It was no, if I got that on, it would have died. It would have, my dick would have fell off. It would have no blood to my balls of dick. And they would just fell off like a fucking skin tag. Stop with the skin tag. Why? Oh, you bring them up so much. Why are you gonna get them? Do you ever fixation about it? Do you have skin tags? No, you're gonna get them. Okay. I have a skin bag. You're gonna get skin tags Okay, why you you don't like skin tags? No, we just talk about it so often
Starting point is 01:21:55 It's basically it's just a third nipple Okay, and nipples a skin tag. No, it's not a skin tag It's similar. It's not similar. All nipples is can take no it's not a skin day. It's similar. It's not similar at all nipple is actually Is You can have milk commodity nipples even as a guy. I understand what a nipple is a guy I can have milk no, I don't think that's true. Google that might put a woman eyes around it might Mike you yeah, men can actually have milk come out of the test. That's not real absolutely if they get hormones maybe no Well, you can have milk
Starting point is 01:22:26 Camada you tits right? Well male if you most have mammary reasons. Thank you. Which not that's not where we generally Doesn't mature the level that guy definitely looks like a male. Got some milk coming out. No the males the gland does not mature to that level Yeah, but it could usually That's it usually no no go back. Who do you hear this from Dr. Skavis generally does not there have been men There's been documented cases. Yes, it can where men have had milk come out of their nipples Just casually or no, I'm not cat. I don't know if he's out walking the streets Casually squeezing milk. I don't know what that means so you're highly unlikely to start sprinkling milk out of the blue Yes, these streets areed six string on my back.
Starting point is 01:23:08 I'll play you for keeps. You guys know what I'm doing? Or should I keep going? Yeah, we got it. All right, we got it. All right, we got it. We should rather talk about skin tags and have you do that again.
Starting point is 01:23:15 Because I'm not making back. Very good. Yeah, man can man can never wear. Ha, ha, ha. I'm done. There was a friend to time. I'm not going to. Um, anyways, that's who I think that's, I don't know if I think my wife has
Starting point is 01:23:39 stuff, but I don't think she's used it a long time. And I don't, I think she hides it because long time. And I don't think she hides it, because Max kinda gets into everything. So I don't know if she's home alone, go have a bed, she's doing something, and he screams, mom! Put it in the cigar humidor. Oh my, my cigar.
Starting point is 01:23:57 I was a little fucking smell. Nice money, gristo, orgasm. Yeah, I love a musty toy. I think the cigar humidor would actually grow the fungus on it Yeah, yeah, you don't want it. You know what that what are you writing a musty toy? Yeah, I just wrote that I got fucking two people here that are on top of it. I didn't see him writing So I thought I know I'm not trying to get you in trouble. I just you were doing another. I got a musty toy You got a matrouple the people like this is what I read someone wrote an article someone said Mark and I have the best podcast titles
Starting point is 01:24:28 We won an award and One of the compliments was we don't yell out. That's the title. Yeah, we just fucking boobly boob you we don't either Haven't once you did Because you wait because my guest started writing on my show. He does it every time. He does do it every time. I'm not a guest. He writes down time.
Starting point is 01:24:50 I'm a regular. He writes down musty toilet every time. I hear a rigger. Stop writing shit on the show and just stick to it. All right. All right. I thought Musty Toy was a good title though. I was just writing a note for help just sitting there.
Starting point is 01:25:02 That's what I was writing. It is. It's not hot. It's not hot. Well, Mike's big what I was writing. It is hot. It's not hot. Well Mike's big heads block in the back. It really is. Every once in a while I throw his head back. I feel like we'll pretty.
Starting point is 01:25:12 That's because what did you do right there? Yeah, that actually feels, what did you just do? Yeah, get it? I swept it around. Did you have it on the floor? No, I didn't. Where'd you have it before? Like a little obstacle at a boy.
Starting point is 01:25:24 Thank you Mike. Yeah, put it over here, okay. This is actually doubly good, because it'll cool me off and get Mike away from the microphone. Here's the thing, this is the thing we're wrong with, you know, is it? It was a good singer.
Starting point is 01:25:32 It's, it's, it's, when we went away on the fucking bushcraft thing, I forgot how fucking crazy Joe is. He's awful. Literally, he just goes on and on about the same fucking thing. He'll go from fucking this to that to over here. Could I tell this bang?
Starting point is 01:25:45 I want to tell this story. We're driving up because by the way, I told my wife she was howling. We had a good laugh at your expense. I go, I'm like, you know, it goes on this fucking show. We're late. First of all, we leave three hours late. I'm packed and sitting on the side on the fucking driveway. Not even true. Not, not three hours. I'm using some of the for real. We sit down on my driveway. We left. I was sitting on the fucking driveway. Not even true. Not three hours. I'm using some of the chairs. You sit down on my driveway. We left.
Starting point is 01:26:07 I was sitting on the little floor. This is not. There's no ground. You can't sit on my driveway. No ground. You're fucking driveway hovers. I have a new hover driveway. They said,
Starting point is 01:26:16 Dude, I talked about it in the pod. They sent it to me. For free. So we're driving up. We leave two hours late. Knock us a me because we have breakfast. Are you taking a bloody shit for 45 minutes? Are you? Look, he shits for a lot. First of me, because we have breakfast. Ari took a bloody shit for 45 minutes. No, Ari, Ari shit. Look, he shits for a while.
Starting point is 01:26:27 This is what happens. I say to them, we should come to my house, stay at my place so we can leave early. We go to my house, Ari has a fucking audition, we have to do. None of these folks, that's a funny part, dude. None of these folks are prepared for anything we're about to do the next day.
Starting point is 01:26:42 They're literally not prepared for anything. He has none of them have a fucking nothing to cook with, no fucking nothing. They bought one thing I told them to buy, everything else I had to provide, this fucking lunatic shows up with a backpack with one of the buckles missing. He goes, hey, you got a buckle,
Starting point is 01:26:59 my thing's I don't have a buckle for this. You need the fucking buckle, to bat, to, to, to, I carry the fucking load. I could have carried it without a buckle. That was just a buckle for this. You need the fucking buckle to back, to, to see, I read the fucking loan. I could have carried it without a buckle. That was just a buckle that goes around your waist. The most important buckle on a backpack. The straps are important.
Starting point is 01:27:12 No, the buckle around the waist is important because that's what hugs your hips and puts all the weight on your hip bone. Can I get to my story? No, I'm on my story now. You figured me, okay? I figured me. Did you like that?
Starting point is 01:27:24 Your little left wing, looney. Now you figured me, okay? Oh, I figured it out. Did you like that? Your little left wing, looney. So I have to fucking fix his bag. We gotta get all this shit. I bought all the fucking, I mean literally, we have to go through the shit two in the morning. Then we're gonna do an audition for fucking Ari for some show.
Starting point is 01:27:40 He's- Tell him what I've done in the audition. I do have this video. Maybe I should put the, I can't put it because it's against the law. Oh right. But he's doing his audition and we're watching the tape and then Joe sitting in my shed.
Starting point is 01:27:52 Joe's behind him and then Joe would just come out and look at the camera and then go back. Well I was shooting his audition with me sitting behind him. He didn't be like, hey, everyone move. I'm gonna shoot my audition. So like, hey, everyone move. I'm shooting my dish. So I'm looking at the screen. I can see my forehead. I just started going, and I'm in his audition. But anyway, so the next day, that's why he didn't get it. I told this note, I told him, if you send this, you will book this part. If you don't send this, you're
Starting point is 01:28:20 fucking nuts. Did he get it? He did not send it. He sent sent he took another version he can't also is acting was Oh, he's exactly Bobby was reading the other lines so much better than I was doing his lines It was his we got he got good at it after yeah, I mean that better after he was fine He's like why would you do that? I don't like that huh? I mean it was wow. I was like that. Huh, I mean, it was- Wow, that was pretty bad. I think that better at it. So we left later than we anticipated.
Starting point is 01:28:49 Then I was like, can we go to Starbucks? Two in the morning, we're back. Two in the morning. I was like, can we go to Starbucks? I need my Starbucks. I have OCD, it's a thing, and then we go, okay. Then everyone's nice, everyone's kind. I gotta go.
Starting point is 01:29:02 Then we're driving up. Bobby is just looking at his phone. He's tweeting, he's kind. I gotta go. Then we're driving up. Bobby is just looking at his phone. He's tweeting. He's scanning We're literally crossing into other roads like all over that. We're all over the map. We're hitting the guardrail And so are you and I like can you please just let us fucking he's like this is how I do it I read the map dude and he's like how come your OCD is fine you have OCD the my OCD Baba, but I'm like your OCD is driving us off the highway Mine is like can we stop and get a green tea I like my green tea just right Yeah, what's up fucking I like to look I like to look straight down at my telephone when we're driving 90
Starting point is 01:29:36 It's not true. I use Google Maps on my phone because I keep you BS. No, I keep it right. I do have a hook But we had so much shit in the car and then these assholes, two in the morning with the bed, I, I, I, I was like, I, we're gonna breakfast in the morning, I'm like, fine, we'll have breakfast. So I got all the food to feed these fucking savages. Not even a thanks. I didn't ask.
Starting point is 01:29:57 Not even a thanks. Of course we said that. That's ridiculous. They just, I'm sorry. What's the funny story? Where's the... What's that? Exactly, Gabby.
Starting point is 01:30:09 Where's the funny story? Write that title down. Where's the funny story? Listen, it wasn't my fault at all. Okay, I'm fucking, I missed one exit. Oh no, look, guy picked him as nose. That was fun. We shaved him.
Starting point is 01:30:28 And I didn't want to shame him, but you shamed him. Oh, Jesus. I'm anti-shaming. Let's see. We're driving on the road, we're guys eating his booger. He was eating it. And we drove back up and we were like,
Starting point is 01:30:39 anyway, I'm gonna do a wee bit of stuff. I don't know how to do it. Let me drive off the road, he died. You do, you just get up. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.
Starting point is 01:30:49 I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.
Starting point is 01:30:57 I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to exit so I'm like fucking I went to the picnic. I brought an apple a fucking banana
Starting point is 01:31:10 That was really fun that we had a great that's a great game It is a great game, but not our we could never record the way we play Yeah, and then these Our version is very not picnic very not PC these alpha-douches couldn't be like Joe That was a really fun game we both were skeptical and then we ended up enjoying it very much. They had to be like, you're fucking homo, you're fucking play games. That's not what we said at all.
Starting point is 01:31:31 We had a good time. We played it. Yeah, it was great. I just miss, we know when it said that at all to him, we had, we actually enjoyed the game. And it's just that we missed the exit because of the fucking stupid game. And it took us an extra 30 minutes to get to the parking lot where we were gonna you know start from that's all yeah and then we had to stop
Starting point is 01:31:48 for sandwiches the moral eat sandwiches no we eat sandwiches why does auree shit blood I guess we really did take a long way to get there didn't it was the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life why did he he leaves it in toilets he just leaves it? Yeah. He wipes his ass and then there's, I think, he has a hemorrhoid? Yeah, Ari has that sense of humor
Starting point is 01:32:12 and I've yelled at him about this before and I've told him I don't like it. I don't like it. He does the thing where those things that are fun to you but they're not funny to anyone else where he's like, he'll take a bloody shit and then leave it in your toilet. And you're like, but I'm not getting any laugh out of that.
Starting point is 01:32:24 That's not funny to me. You should have boundaries. Yeah. I don't get why it's bloody. And then he was naked, and my wife came home, and then she thought we were having sex, because the house smelled like bloody shit,
Starting point is 01:32:33 and he was naked. It's got a funny. That part. I mean, that's got a funny. I gotta give our daughter a little honor. He's like, he locks the door. He's like, I don't want her to see me naked. And I'm like, I can't have my fucking wife's door lock,
Starting point is 01:32:42 but she gets home. That's got a funny. She wiped him's home, and the door's locked. That's got money She wiped up something the doors locked our snake in this blood the toilet I don't give like what you say. He's the funniest guy in the planet Your blood you're He's not handling it. I guess not I guess no I know he got blood in the toilet bowl Means you not handling it. No, he goes a blood in the toilet bowl means you not handling it No, he goes the doctor and the doctor's like yeah, this is what you gotta get a cut out
Starting point is 01:33:09 Really? I'm gonna get a poke back in Dr. Scabies. What does he say? Buff that's nasty. Oh pushing it back in like a fuck oh Like a belly button hernia That's even worse why a belly button hernia god why's even worse. Why? A belly button hernia? God, why you don't like those? Keep going. What is, what is your, listen, here's your problem.
Starting point is 01:33:30 I get very nauseous. This is what's gonna happen to you. Here's your problem. Okay, later in life, you're gonna realize that you're gonna get old and shit's gonna start growing and dying off of you. I realize that, but I'm young and fresh now, and I'd rather not talk about it. Too shak.
Starting point is 01:33:44 Yeah. And you're a little mean sometimes to me not talk about it. Too shak. Yeah. I have good way. And you're a little mean sometimes to me, earlier. Yeah, a little fresh. Yeah, you're a little mean. It's beautiful. Okay. You don't even care.
Starting point is 01:33:52 Look at her. What's up with you? Why are you like this today? Why are you treating our guests like this? I love them, both of them, separately and together. Well, why are you treating them like that? Am I being mean? No.
Starting point is 01:34:03 Thank you, Katie. Can I stop being referred to as a guest? I've been on the show for six years. What do you want to refer to? A regular. All right, rag. Stick out for yourself. I am.
Starting point is 01:34:12 Go ahead. She just asked you. I've been here longer than Gabby. Gabby was an eighth grade when I started on the show. Anyways. Oh, my ankle. What? My foot was gone.
Starting point is 01:34:22 Really? Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. I'm not. Anyways, oh Michael what my foot was gone Really are you okay? Yeah, I'm Nick DePaul bringing up. I want to talk about oh great guy Did he really get punched yeah by a woman? Yes, he got sucker punched by a wife and talked about but he got sucker punched by a woman He was doing a meet and greet and I heard somebody on Instagram wrote that um that it was um the girls damn is that her on the background I don't think so I don't think so
Starting point is 01:34:51 okay what happened read what happened Michael or Gabby somebody read because anybody know what happened do you have the actual article I heard this is what I heard he was doing a meet and greet and then the the woman came up and punch him the face but I heard he was taking a photo with the woman's dad I I don't know if that's real or not. That might be a Wives I read is it say right there Mike? I was going through it makes you were when I actually says it You didn't do that before and you fucking nothing paragraph down looks like that's when a guy came over to him and told him that he
Starting point is 01:35:18 Loved the show adding but my daughter wants to punch you in the face It was at that moment that the man's daughter sucker punched Apollo hitting him right below his left eye. He didn't even finish the word face and she sucker punched me. Nick told Benningons. Benningons. Benningons.
Starting point is 01:35:34 Great restaurant. Fucking the big apple. You ever have that? Oh, so good. I love it. Then went to the international house of pancakes. So it's the pancake. Go ahead, do it. Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:35:50 He did nothing in response, but asked the guy whether this had been set up. He did call the police to have a report of the incident made. He described the woman who hit him as looking like a poster girl for occupied Wall Street and self-righteous little twat and said since the world doesn't allow him to hit back he'll take it to court. Nick what is they Nick also appeared on the Mike Calta show wow he did the whole circuit huh and you can listen to the call below. Love my call to, I'm not listening to that lady. He said, uh, back in the day when he was drunk, he would have punched back. Instead, he went to the police station and says he plans to sue her. Her
Starting point is 01:36:35 father told him that she is emotionally problems. No shit. Good, good, good, good, looking out taking her. Look at man, you can't blame that for your political views on fucking emotional problems, fuck that. Fuck that. Yeah, that, his eye looked really bad. It's so hard to see. It's so funny though, you go to a comedy show and you're that offended that you want to punch somebody
Starting point is 01:36:59 on either side, whatever the fuck this is. I mean, I understand Nick is lean's right, but he's center lean right. He's not a right wing lunatic. He does things to make you laugh. He, you know, he's, I just don't understand that, you know, if you're gonna go and flip the fuck out in a comedy show,
Starting point is 01:37:21 because you heard something you didn't like, what kind of fucking child are you? Well, to solve. Get up and walk the fuck. Yeah, but even to solve. To get that angry, even if you don't hit him, to get that angry at a comedy show, to not understand that you're going to a show, you're going to hear shit that you probably don't like, do you really believe that you're going to go to a show and everything you're
Starting point is 01:37:40 going to hear is going to sit well with you? Some shit that I hear, oh my god, whatever, you just keep em moving, you're at a fucking comedy show, you loser. Yeah, I hope she gets broke from being sued. I don't think she has money. Yeah, that she had money, she wouldn't have done that. She's a fucking, and the father, what a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 01:38:02 He should have got her the fuck out. That's like when I had a lady at my show, wasn't having a good time, and the husband, the boyfriend, or whatever the fuck was there. Dude, get her and get her the fuck out. Yeah. That's your girl.
Starting point is 01:38:15 Number one, you should be looking out for her. She's not having a good time. You know, because you're a fan of mine, you don't just sit there and torture her. You don't, you're torturing me and her. Get the fuck up, go, we're gonna leave. And get the fuck out. And I ask, what do you, let me tell you something.
Starting point is 01:38:31 You hit somebody in the eyeball, you could've took his eye out. You could've fucked his eye up. You could've went blind from that. Which could've been sexually pleasurable. She should've sucked his eye. That would've been... She punched it up, it's better that way. I mean, I appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:38:45 Good job. That one was funny. I thought we were working as a team as a podcast. You are. You literally, if I was going to make a robot of you feel the version, it would be her. We have the same here. Where am I a robot?
Starting point is 01:38:56 A robot? Yeah. Because it's always a robot. Why am I a robot? I'm not. No, it's crazy. I hope that, yeah, it'll be fun. Yeah, it's a terrible shame.
Starting point is 01:39:08 I hate that girl. It's just fucking ridiculous that people have taken comedy. So even on the internet, every fucking... I see all these big-name comics and it's just angry all the fucking time. How about just go write jokes about it so we can laugh at this horse shit instead of getting so fucking angry. Everything is fucking just rage and anger. Yeah, it's good. People just sit at their desk all day and they don't work out, they don't exercise, they don't take care of themselves, and everyone's just raging because their bodies are trying to burn a calorie. It's nonsense.
Starting point is 01:39:43 are trying to burn a calorie. It's nonsense. Well, then I should be pissed. I should be literally not happy if it has to do with not moving. I don't know what the fool you nuts. What the fuck? How did you make it a fat thing? When I get mad, I just work out. I rage on the elliptical. I feel great. Fitching someone raging on an elliptical. And I feel great. Ha ha. Ha ha. Patrick's someone raging on an elliptical. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:40:07 You could only rage so much before it stops. You'll, you'll, you'll feed your knees. We'll fly. Okay. Yeah, well then I feel better. I'm like, oh, that lady at the grocery store was just sad. That's like I had somebody at my show,
Starting point is 01:40:20 like a month ago, I think it was bananas. He's taking video, he's taking video, like I see him with his phone. And I go, dude, I show like a month ago, I think it was bananas. He's taking video, he's taking video, like I see him with his phone. And I go, dude, put at three times I saw it and the third time, he's supposedly a big fan of mine. And he's sitting there with the phone. And I go, dude, I'm right here. Put the fucking phone away, use your brain
Starting point is 01:40:42 and enjoy the show, stop it. Cause I don't know if you got video, I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Yeah. I'm just taking foot, I don't know what, I don't know how the fuck I'm supposed to just believe you. You're not supposed, if you're in the doubt over the fucking age of 21 and you're at a comedy show,
Starting point is 01:40:59 you know you're not supposed to use your phone. They say at the beginning, the host says it, everybody says don't fucking use your phone. If you're a fan of comedy, you've heard, you don't use your your phone. They say at the beginning the host says that everybody says don't fucking use your phone. If you're a fan of comedy you've heard you don't use your fucking phone. You don't hold your phone up. And I was like put it down and use your, I didn't say fuck you. I put it down, use your brain. What are you doing? Grow up. I'm right here. Enjoy me. That's all I said. After the show came up drunk and fucking verbally attacked me. Waited in line. I'm shaking hands, taking photos, comes up.
Starting point is 01:41:31 I'll never be your fan again. This, I loved you, Barbie. I loved you, but you embarrassed me. I was just taking a photo. I was like, buddy, it doesn't matter. You can't, I know, but you can't use your, yeah, but I'll never come see you. I'll never, buddy, it doesn't matter. You can't, I know, but you can't use your, yeah, but I'll never come see you. I'll never, ever see you.
Starting point is 01:41:48 And it makes me sad, but I'm just repeating it because he's drunk. I bet he's listening. I bet he's watching YouTube right now. Send us a womanizer. But then he's like, he kept going on and on and on. And he's like, I'm like, buddy, you can't use your phone. I'm so, look at, I don't know what you're doing.
Starting point is 01:42:04 You just don't bring your phone. I told you not to use it. And that's it. That'm like, buddy, you can't use your phone. I'm so, look at, I don't know what you're doing. You just don't bring your phone. I told you not to use it. And that's it. That's all I said to you. And then, yeah, Bobby, I've done, I followed you and he started using his fan shit as like leverage from, dude, I've done so much. I've followed you.
Starting point is 01:42:18 I've done, I come see you. I bring people and you treat me like, I was like, and then I go, you know what, get the fuck out of here. There's a line of people, you're sitting there just berating me and I'm supposed to take it I told you not to put your fucking phone up. That's all I did. I didn't say fuck you fuck off get them out If you didn't want then he goes if you didn't want you I get a big email from his wife the next day What a piece of shit I am. Oh wow what a piece of shit. I am She's lying too.
Starting point is 01:42:46 All she said, all she was coming up is to say sorry to you. And you told, that's not true. Didn't say sorry once. Actually told me he's never gonna, he's not my fan anymore. I'm never gonna come see me again. And was threatening me with his fan shit. To do answer the email?
Starting point is 01:43:00 No, of course not. Yeah, what's that? Fuck that. That'd be crazy. Yeah, he should have called her. Hey, just calling you talking over. I did. It's like, are you fucking crazy? Which club is it? I'm not gonna tell you. But it was probably the same club with the bad bed though. Skabies. No, not at all. I'd rather get skabies than have this shit happen. It's fucking sad to me. These people of that fucking look just crazy. Just not
Starting point is 01:43:23 even self-aware. Yeah. He was caught, no he wasn't. She was in the bathroom. He was sitting there for fucking three minutes, which is an eternity when you have a meet and greet. There's people waiting. They want to go to fuck home and they're sitting in line and you're sitting there telling me how you're not going to be my fan.
Starting point is 01:43:40 I'm never going to listen to you again. I'm not going to be your fan. You embarrassed me in front of people at my son. son's like, do you really think I do that? I told you to put the fucking phone down. That's it. In a joking way. And then I get a big email from his wife the next day with a piece of shit I am.
Starting point is 01:43:57 And then she started trashing me in my comedy. Oh really? So if I just let you videotape my show and do whatever the fuck you want You'd still be my fan and I'd be the greatest thing in the world But you don't get what the fuck you want and you get mad for the rest of the fucking show and then come out and verbally attack me in front of a Crowd of fucking people that paid money to see me. So are you really a fan or you're just a fucking two-year-old? I play for keeps because I'm not making back. Mike why are you shaking head? Did you mad at me? No, I don't think. Oh, I see. Yeah, more people should be in therapy.
Starting point is 01:44:34 I'm going to therapy tomorrow. I can't wait. I love it. That's crazy to me. The people go to these comedy shows and they're fucking just they they get so emotional about this shit. There it is. You go to Alan? No, no, I go to Julie shout out, hi. She's a former Cirque du Soleil performer and now she's my therapist. Wow. Does she ever do any of the whoop duips? I'm in the podcast.
Starting point is 01:44:55 You just change. I'm literally in the middle of a fucking topic. I thought it was fucking. No, it didn't fucking end, Joe. I thought it ended. The guy needs therapy, though. I was just chiming in. The fan. You know, the praise fan. He's a fucking asshole. was just shining in the fan. You know you know you're a fan
Starting point is 01:45:05 He's a fucking asshole. Oh fuck you Joe. I'm turning on you You're a reg he said in this that's the second time you said someone was on the reg I don't You fucking no your brain is so fucking twisted you can like a pink pink pink pink I got a gun but add to it say something. I did we need therapy that that's it. I'm talking about therapy Maybe you've never had a situation where somebody fucking said anything to you I'm trying to think if we need him to see Julie or Alan I blame you I blame you no, I blame you the fucking booker. You're the mastermind behind this fucking booking. This is my I'm on the show when I'm available Sure I'm a reg that's true. She calls me goes hey
Starting point is 01:45:55 That's true. I gave her the fucker reg What that's the good amount by the way, I like it. We only have two people on I love it. Gabby's not joking around me. Gabby books this show like a motherfucker Thank you. Yeah, you do a great job. That's why you can go camping Okay, so I trust you okay. I'm still hurt. You have to prove yourself though What I say I told a long hilarious story and then she was like whiz the punchline. It was really quite quite Sorry, you're my favorite. You're my favorite.
Starting point is 01:46:26 Who's your favorite? A regular, he's my favorite regular. Oh, thank you. This is just a fucking cluster of fucking it's curing. This whole show is shit. I should have stayed in the woods forever. I didn't like to.
Starting point is 01:46:38 I should have just stayed in. I should have just Gabby be the new. She'll just go on dead and go into some shit and then you give my head Yeah, no fucking be you. Why would you make it worse? Be you Be you I think it's a great episode. I thought both times you gave long speeches. We all let you When you get into an emotion and
Starting point is 01:47:06 Anything I also have some notes after Sometimes when you get into an emotion and feeling you tell a long thing It's hard for you to segue yourself out I've been on the show many years. So you're going this you're going to do it. He's a fucking dick. I hope he dies I'm gay and it's hard to just go But anyway, I'm tired to go but anyway, so horses are racing So you finish when you finish I Saw some new business what are you on one?
Starting point is 01:47:31 My had a guy come up to me at a show and just tell me he hated my glasses over and over and he was only about five one And then he finally revealed that he was an optometrist and that was his So was it the prescription? No, he hated the frames. He said they make my face. It was my big glasses. He said they make my face look ugly. I'm a lovely girl, and I should stop wearing glasses.
Starting point is 01:47:53 And all the comics. Is that what I'm doing, Frank? Well, these are my low key glasses when I'm not feeling, you know, when you're going to be regging up. You're totally the software in glasses? He told me to shut up. No, he said he hated the frames.
Starting point is 01:48:04 I should come to his store, get some better ones, and all the comics were standing behind me, dying laughing the whole time. No, and then they were like, you should have been like, you're a super short mother fucker. But I was just like, okay, well, I got the hints, buddy. And then everyone fucking righted me because I didn't pop off on him,
Starting point is 01:48:22 but I'm not gonna do that. I had that. That's what it's called popping off. Yeah, excuse me, sir. I gave this guy a lot of shots too. I sat there and I kept saying, That's why he's drunk. I kept going, hey man, I'm sorry, you look man,
Starting point is 01:48:33 just relax. I come and see you, I really like to do it, I'm sorry, but until I snap, because he wouldn't shut the fuck up. There's one thing I don't like, drunk, I don't like alcohol, I don't drink, and I don't like when people get so fucking drunk, they become ridiculously annoying. And they, it's all based on, I'm drunk. So I get some type of pass.
Starting point is 01:48:55 No, you don't fuck face. When you're repetitive, repetitive, drunk, annoying assholes, I'm a recovering alcohol and you're fucking in my space with that shit. I don't do it and I hate it and I put up with it and I put up with it and then there was a point where I was like, get the fuck outta here, you fuck. And that's all that he responded to. And of course, I'm the fucking one to blame.
Starting point is 01:49:16 And maybe if his wife was there and could have grabbed him and, you know, got him the fuck out of something. I hate it too. That happened with Doug Smith one time we did a show and he had a mustache. Doug's a sexy man. Wouldn't you say? Probably looking guy. Yes, very handsome.
Starting point is 01:49:30 And he has a scar and it's like, oh, danger. Yeah, yeah, he's a hot, hot guy. And a dad, he's like, I love a mustache. I love a mustache. A young, hot dad. Danger. Yeah, he got caught by a box cutter for saving a woman on the subway.
Starting point is 01:49:43 Yeah, it's really something. Yes, it is it is true Yeah, it is a good dresser. I hope you I hope you just fucking slipped at home deeper The whole story is a sham. I really do Somebody marries him on that store and then find out it's just bullshit. He is married He's married. He's the cutter when he was Still lonely fucking asshole. It worked at hot topics and he cut his cheek just that feelings It's like they say all the good ones are me Doug all the tough sexy guys are Smith that's what the story's about yeah
Starting point is 01:50:12 But anyways, he had a mustache and this lady walked up to him and I don't want to say what persuasion she was But I'll just say she had a hook nose I always like you to say a hook nose. I always thought you were going to say a hook hand. She's a hush right there. She was a witch. An amputee. No, I shouldn't have said hook. That was very hard.
Starting point is 01:50:33 Was that Jew? Was that Jew? That was bad. Yeah, she's not me. I did not say that. What Jew just did. I don't want to say she was Jewish, but she loved money. She had lost a lot of family.
Starting point is 01:50:44 I don't want to say she was Jewish, but I wish she was eating hummus out of the palm of her hand. She smelled like coupons That's hurtful Wow That's fucked up leave it to the Mexican That was fun anyways, she walked up to Doug and was like I you must dash. I hate it. It's terrible This is what she's like, I'm Nalini in question. She's like, it's a terrible impression. It was June, June, June, and that music.
Starting point is 01:51:11 She was like, it's terrible, it's so bad, and he was just kind of taking it. And finally, I stepped in. I was like, what are you doing? This is somebody's telling somebody's face. What's wrong with you? And she's like, he's calling me rude. This guy's calling me rude.
Starting point is 01:51:23 I'm rude now, I'm rude. And she started yelling at me. That's a good thing, yeah, that sounds like a joke. I think all her friends, she's like, this guy's calling me rude. This guy's calling me rude. I'm rude, now I'm rude. And she started yelling at me. That's a good thing. Yeah, that sounds like a good thing. Oh, her friend, she's like, this guy's calling me rude over here. I was like, you're telling my friend his face, like, and he needs the chance, that's what you kept saying.
Starting point is 01:51:33 She's like, you need to shave. And I was like, you can't just tell someone they need to change their face, cause of you, because you're your opinions. So yeah, I tell you the, there's a lot, you know what I realized? There's a lot of shit people. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:44 Like most people are shitty people. There's a lot of shit people. Like most people are shitty people. There's a lot of shit people in the world. Yeah. Like over the last weekend, I said, hi to people, I've seen people, hey, people don't respond. Even at a campsite where you think people would say hi, they just, hey, nothing.
Starting point is 01:52:01 And you're like, wow, a lot of shit people. No manners, they don't have no manners. They don't know boundaries They don't know how to fucking say hello, or please. Oh, thank you. It's like what the fuck? You have people have no boundaries. Everyone's always putting everything on Facebook They think that you care about their nonsense opinion. I know that was the greatest thing about this weekend I didn't even fucking look at Twitter. I didn't look at any of your fucking Unbelievable weekends that every comic seems to have and look at any of your fucking unbelievable weekends that every comic seems to have.
Starting point is 01:52:25 Oh, it's so, what a great, and I know I do the same shit, but mine are real. Check out my Instagram dude, we were in Denver, it was great. I saw you put beautiful photos up. Yeah, they're fun, they're, yeah. Your Instagram's very relaxing. Thank you. You're a beautiful human being inside and out.
Starting point is 01:52:41 Yeah, I love you, Bobby. I love you, Katie. Thanks. I'm big fans. Yeah, I can you, Bobby. I love you, Katie. Thanks. Um, big fans. Yeah. I can't wait to put this KOA thing. Are we going to do it? No phones, no social media.
Starting point is 01:52:53 No clothes. Was that intentional? Oh, I hate it. I love it. If you ever booked the same guest. That was good. Come on. If you ever booked the same guest again. That's fun Come on. If you ever book the same guest again.
Starting point is 01:53:05 That was fun. I'm quitting the show. You can't play. Can we be in your cabin for the KOH? Just me, Joe and you. No, you guys are going to ramp cabin. Big three. And Joe's going to, you can have a tent or you can be in a cabin.
Starting point is 01:53:16 I'm going to be in a tent. I want a hammock. What about, what? Can I use a hammock? No. Why? I'm using the hammock. I thought you wanted a hammock. No, I'm using a hammock. I'm using my hammock. Well, let me use Joe the hammock. No. Why? I'm using the hammock. I thought you wanted a hammock.
Starting point is 01:53:25 No, I'm using a hammock. I'm using my hammock. Well, let me use Joe's hammock. His hammock? Yeah. It's hammock. Ask Joe. Joe can I use your hammock?
Starting point is 01:53:33 No. But if this woman come, I gotta bring my wife. Yeah. Well, it'll be three and three. That's fun. I already bloody shit, shefear. Bobby, the host, Kelly. You're welcome.
Starting point is 01:53:43 I bring my kid then. Yeah, bring your kid. Yeah, bring it. I'll bring my max. And then you know we can do.'re gonna bring my kid then yeah bring a kid Yeah bring my max and then you know we can do I was my kid I was My kid Dude you better stop with the kid shit. I'm getting very fucking that was I haven't made one in a long time Yeah, but stop cuz Max loves you a lot. I love Max. He fucking. I love Max I love him. We had a great time together. He got a little cranky cuz he couldn't shut up What the fuck he's five? I love Max. He goes like this to me. He goes a little cranky because he couldn't shut up. What the fuck? He's five. I love Max He goes like this to me. He goes deck in this weekend. I swear to God goes Max loves you
Starting point is 01:54:10 He goes deck. Can I be part of push taff potty boys? Oh, that's sweet. We got to bring him I think we should bring him it's cute. We should bring Lewis and James Yeah, let's talk about this after the show Why and we'd bring Dan. Soder? Dan? Yeah. Gabby says I'm her favorite, but I see a twinkle.
Starting point is 01:54:31 Saved person. There's an eye twinkle. Yeah. We can get everybody to go. Who else has kids? Who else has kids? Kids, kids, kids. Uh, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:54:42 Anyways, we should do a big, and we can have some fans, we'll bring fans. No, what the fans? We'll bring them maybe with the mustache, the guy who came up to me, we'll do like a whole retreat on mending bridges. Yeah, and then we can kill them. In the woods. Maybe go pack Joe with them.
Starting point is 01:54:57 Sacrifices, don't say shit to me. Go pack Joe, he could come. Go pack Joe. Go pack Joe. The fucking Optramus strips. He has a club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, can't miss it. I'm sorry. You bring Dr. Skabies. Skabies.
Starting point is 01:55:07 All right. Listen, you guys have a great unbelievable podcast. I even though I hate you two together, because it's literally just having two Jo's, the two Jo's. Why is it not two Kays? Yeah. I was here first, because you know why? Because Joe was here first. Okay. And he can't be two case Both of you stink my can it be two girls it can't I know it's not that I'm a guy. It's just that I know. No, no, why cuz guys are first
Starting point is 01:55:35 Always I'll say that's why we need to get a womanizer Not on a sicking ship to women and children first. Yeah. I can't say. Also, I would say you're, I'm your number one. So you're my number one. Yeah. Yeah. So women first.
Starting point is 01:55:52 You're the one that I want. You are the one that we want to be first. So honey. How do you guys want to be first? So I don't even care. I just want to be a reg. You are a reg. How come women want to be first so much? What? What? They want to be a reg. You are a reg. How come we want to be first so much?
Starting point is 01:56:05 What? What? They want to be equal, Robert. Because we're number one. Baby. What is that matter? Pune. Not in sports, losers. You'll never have us in sports. I say give it all to them. Give them everything. Everything you want. Give what? Everything. Everything you want. Give me all your love and TV. TV. Yeah. You guys want equal pay, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:31 Yeah. Get it. Give it to you. What does this pay? Give it to equal pay. Let me get equal pay in movies. I like to get it. So if me and you do write a movie, right?
Starting point is 01:56:40 Yes. And we hire Matt Damon to be the star of be the star of it and then we get Katie and Gabby Gabby to be the co-leads even though they're not Matt Damon they get the same amount of money as him So if we give a million they get a million she they both get a million to I love similar roles I'd be fine with just sag scale Katie will just take the movement down she'll take it down just to get the part I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. is your uh... will be here at five thirty five thirty shit you know that great probably right guys
Starting point is 01:57:26 uh... let's go to the website kati what do you think uh... we go to uh... let's do this by podcast you guys are on can you can you go to the i-tunes for uh... this is my website the i-tunes for a pod collapse oh yeah i should have known to put that up yeah you're on the show. Considering, yeah, that's on me. Go down to me.
Starting point is 01:57:49 Tell it, just tell it, just tell it, he'll pull it. So a podca-lips is a podcast that I host in Gabby's on it also. It's about surviving cataclysm. It's also about podca-lipses and pop culture. And it's funny, you're gonna learn something and it's a good time. We're gonna have our next episode, we're gonna have Dan Soder on, you're gonna learn something, and it's a good time. We're gonna have, our next episode, we're gonna have Dan Soder on, and we're gonna talk about the RoboPocalypse
Starting point is 01:58:09 or the AI takeover. Scroll down a little bit. What does that say, right there? Comedy seller, 50% off preferred seats. What website is this? That's, I think that's just an ad. Why am I reading something and you're scrolling off of it? You're reading an ad.
Starting point is 01:58:22 I know, that's why I'm reading it. I wanna see that for a second. Forget it. We wanna have you on Bobby. Talk about your go-back, because we know that you love to do push crafts. I would definitely, you know, I've done a couple of those,
Starting point is 01:58:33 me and Verzy have done a bunch of those like what ifs. We call them like put me in a scenario and then what would I do and what would you do? So I would love to do it. We have to choose your own adventure, yeah. Well, I like, have me on and give me a scenario and then let's talk about how I would get out of it. We have to choose your own adventure. Yeah. Well, I like have me on and give me a scenario and then let's talk about how I would get out of it. How is it like that?
Starting point is 01:58:49 That would be a dream. Because I do think I love apocalypse stuff. I love like the walking dead. What would happen if things went south? I'm fucking ready. Yeah, I believe it. That's true. Can you go to the SoundCloud?
Starting point is 01:59:04 Huh? Mike, we did that's true. But we can even have the sound cloud. Huh? Mike, we did we did a zombie episode. We did, um, we did the we also talk about history and stuff too. So we talked about the origin of zombies. We're going to three different sites of yours, which we never do. We usually bring a one site. We don't wear a site. You say things and then we will go into the thing and then Gabby just silently goes, you know, soundcloud and my picture. The picture. Exactly. Because you're in it.
Starting point is 01:59:30 Exactly. That was the only one that you're in. Well, the first one was my personal website. So I'm not going to have Gabby on that. I don't like how awesome Gabby's teeth looks while she's eating a hand. Yeah. Yeah. Gabby looked fantastic during that whole shoot. I had to wear a red lipstick. Yes, I chose that for you. She can tell you the way lipstick. You've never told me to wear lipstick. But you should now. Gabby Salary is on it and someone might...
Starting point is 01:59:58 That's not good carried away. It's so funny. She knows you are a bit. We are fun. No, you guys are very funny. I've actually listened to an episode of it. Which one? Um, oh I know I swear to God. Um, I did I listened to oh
Starting point is 02:00:15 Mike pull up the details in episode I think I'm not going to this Believe you I swear to God, I didn't know the guy listen to your Remind me of all of these. Half of it. On my ride in one day, because she told me, but I think it was right when you first got on it. I was like, let me check it out.
Starting point is 02:00:30 It was actually funny and fun. I love it. I love stuff like that. I love talking about that type of shit. Thanks. We can't wait to have you on. It'll be soon. I'll definitely come on.
Starting point is 02:00:40 Oh, did I call somebody? Yeah. Oh God, thanks, Gap. All right. Cool. What else you got? Well, I have some shows around town, but not too much because I'm doing this shoot in Vermont. But oh, I just taped for the late show with Stephen Colbert, so it's gonna come out soon.
Starting point is 02:00:55 Yeah, here. It was the best day of my life. It was fantastic. I was trying. Did you mind not doing it in front of the crowd? Was that? The crowd was there. They had a full...
Starting point is 02:01:05 But they shoot some arousen and then they put it in the show. No, it's in the Sullivan. It's in the same theater and everything, but it's just like a comedy show. I did kind of wish it had been the actual day of because it seemed like a show. Well you walked out during the show. Yeah. It was just different, I guess, his show was in some comics. But it was still great.
Starting point is 02:01:22 Yeah. I went first and I had a great set. I had a great time. Well, me and you have been friends for a long time. Yes. Because you actually, you helped me with my cheat the book. That was when I, um, panamai I'm blowing you. You did the video.
Starting point is 02:01:36 I was fucking, you so hilarious. And that night I told my boyfriend at the time about it and he yelled at me and I cried at dinner. He was like, why would you be panamai-ming that you're blowing someone? I was like, I thought it was funny. They're supposed to be Kelly, you remember? And she couldn't figure it out.
Starting point is 02:01:49 She couldn't fucking. Oh, I don't know. I miss her. I don't. I am. No, I'm kidding. I love Kelly. I love for stuka.
Starting point is 02:01:58 Joe, what do you got? Wow. Good. Flick. Mike. That was great. Kids, Daniel. I'm being genuine. That was really nice. I'll tell you what I got.
Starting point is 02:02:07 Was that Larry Bird giving a speech? What the fuck? I don't get it. That's the best of my jawlines ever looked by the way. Look at that. There's a real chin there. Look at the jawline or a gullet. Um, I didn't know it was hurt Joe's feelings, though. I'm sorry. I got a website. It's comedian joelist.com.
Starting point is 02:02:25 Sarah and I will be at the Providence Comedy Connection and East Providence. I know we have a lot of people in New England, a lot of real, you know what I mean? A lot of you know what I do. A lot of New England garbage. Listen into this. No, a lot of fans. What do you mean garbage? I'm talking about us.
Starting point is 02:02:38 I'm talking about us. I'm talking about the fans garbage. I'm saying like us. We're in New England. Dutian. Mass holes. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying it disparaging I'm saying hey, you fucking nuts you trash. Yeah, I'm trying to say it like like us
Starting point is 02:02:50 Don't talk about things like that. Just talk to them. They're listening. You just did a fucking tirade about how this guy should die I Yeah, you should die either he should I should die. I didn't mean I meant it affectionately. I meant I know we got a lot of I was a guy that you out there coming out I was attacked by this guy I know I was trying to be folksy but anyways I hate this show we're going to the Providence Common Connection and we need some real fans because you get some wild animals that that Providence from you let me say some best shows I've done in
Starting point is 02:03:18 in New England in that club one of his what is that club yeah but you need the fans. Because otherwise you just get to show the fuck up bridge. Yeah, show the fuck up. That club is one of the, I fucking love that club. I love the guys who own it. They fucking, the guys buy me a cigar. Great guys.
Starting point is 02:03:37 They're the best. I saw David Teller in 2001, a fan. But they took this club. I'll tell you why it's great because the club was a shit hole Beautiful place, but the guy ran it was a co-cat. Fucked it up. It was just a shit fest every time he went there These guys bought it and slowly but surely year by year Took care of the comics got great comics to come and treated them right and then Police the room cared about the sound now. It's one of the fucking premier rooms in the country in Rhode Island and uh... so Joe's gonna be there with Sarah come with our joe list dot com and then of course uh... the
Starting point is 02:04:15 fucking uh... the stand-up season two of the senate says on Netflix right now everyone told me Nate called me he's like gonna buy a car you're gonna get a house i bought a fucking minor league baseball team It's bananas. I sell out every theater and I added two thousand Twitter followers and that's it So go fucking watch it. I mean I got oversold in this thing I know it's all saturated and suck my dick and blow me twice. It was great. Oh, thank you I appreciate it. Thank you. So go watch it. Tell a friend to watch you go to sell out every show man He's like I don't even I just make double digits for farting now
Starting point is 02:04:50 And I put a down payment on the house I bought my dad at parachutes and I made shit Yeah, he's not telling all the money. He's spending on fucking so it goes a lot more to it to do in one stupid special So go watch it. What do you think of this as a business comedy? I think it's bad. I'm thinking of, right now I'm at a point where I have some fans, but not a lot. Not a lot of fans. So I'm trying to think, I'm trying to pick, I'm trying to pick.
Starting point is 02:05:13 I'm trying to know you have it. I'm trying to pick a show to tell everybody to go to that one show so you can hit a bonus. Because otherwise if you have 80 fans, the comedy connection, the product, Rhode Island should be the one you hit the bonus. I'm saying, come to the Friday show. You're from, I'm saying come to the Friday show your fron bomb
Starting point is 02:05:25 I'm saying come to the fron cuz I have 80 fans there so just all if you only show you do a show I'm doing five four How many you doing what Thursday Friday Saturday one Friday two Saturday so come to the Friday show every shows For yet, well, how many shows you doing four you can see it? Where is a Friday Friday to Saturday. So, I said that Thursday, Friday to Saturday. That's what I said. I said that and you said four! First you said five.
Starting point is 02:05:53 You said five. I know that I amended it. I'm gonna fucking amend you. And on August 9th, if you're a Pearl Jammer, this is what's fucking you up. This is why you're puking somewhere. You should get plugs, you bald dude. You're giving too many.
Starting point is 02:06:08 They don't know what to go. I'm giving one. Providence is Seattle's about every month. You're giving this. I didn't say the NEST. I didn't say the NEST. I said Providence.
Starting point is 02:06:17 That's big. Wendy, is your pet three-cellilla queen. Yeah, but you wouldn't let me get through any of them. You didn't add anything, anything. Because you're such a fucking OCD asshole You are being the interjo I'll be what what August 9th you know what fuck you Gabby you are that was that was too much
Starting point is 02:06:33 I'm not being you know what two days don't fuck with me And don't fuck with me and before you say something and Mike I dare you a plug-in providence Something and Mike I dare you a plug in providence That's the worst thing you can do to me he gave me fucking Mike Fini guns Let's go before I hate everybody Belleview August 9th Seattle. I'm coming your way right between two Pearl Jam shows They're playing Thursday Saturday and Thursday Friday You're literally plugging Pearl Jam. No, because there's always, no, I mean, I'm one of these guys. You travel all over, you go to Pearl Jam
Starting point is 02:07:08 in between the night off. You come to see me. You have. Oh, okay. This Wednesday at the fat black, no? Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night. Yeah, post it on that.
Starting point is 02:07:19 How's it in that tomorrow night? Then Friday at the pit, I have a new show called Looking for Boyfriends that I'm hosting. It's disgusting. Thank you. Can you just get on Tinder? That's funny. Come on. And then next Wednesday, the 27th, I have my monthly show called Cheeky with it. You think that you think to me. I love that when you say something to you and you go, no, that's funny. No, that's not the way it works, Gabby. We let you know if it's funny. We let you know. Come on. You can't just say, come on.
Starting point is 02:07:45 I know that you had a great upbringing, your parents are awesome and they gave you good self esteem, but you can't carry that into this business. You will be beaten out of it. I swear to God. And this passive aggressive shit isn't gonna fly either.
Starting point is 02:07:57 I know your tricks, Gabby. I understand it. You snobby little fucking passive aggressive shit. Isn't gonna work on me. I'm not passive aggressiveobby little fucking passive aggressive shit! Isn't gonna work on it! I'm not passive aggressive. That was fucking passive aggressive. This little snicker right now is fucking passive aggressive. I love you. Thank you so much. Come to my monthly show.
Starting point is 02:08:13 No, don't go to the show! Listen to the Apodica lips, hosted by Katie Hanigan to my left. Hello, and I'm also on it. That's it. That's good. Like I used to always team kind of teetered at the end I forgot to plug my podcast Tuesdays with stories I really believe Gabby does not work for me sometimes she works here everybody else on the show
Starting point is 02:08:38 That's my job. I try to make everyone feel comfortable. No, you're supposed to make me feel comfortable I'm the fucking house. Where are you in it? Where one unit? It's a show. No, it's not a unit. This is the unit. This is the unit. What are you eating you fucking God? It's a gift for you. You got us gifts. What'd you get? Well, I got you well, I did that that I made a convention they pay me to go to yeah, so I got every all the all of our little robots. Oh, what'd you get me? Oh, you're gonna pick one. Oh, what do I get me? Oh, you're gonna pick one. Oh, what do I get one? Well, you want to rag before you get the episode. Okay, just Joe, get one. No, no. So you for you guys, I love robots. We all have our own little robot. Bigger chair, we can Joe love robots. Yeah, I like woman eyes of 400s. Brought to you. Gabby, there's the other one. There's the yellow one. Pass that to Gabby, I'm gonna see us and get one. All right. The yellow one. Pass that to Gabby, please.
Starting point is 02:09:25 Oh, you're making him pass it. Are you really gonna share this with her? No, I was just looking at it. I'm not gonna share it. Why? Sharing is caring. I read recently, Gabby, you fucked me. That was my another chance to do my big bet.
Starting point is 02:09:37 I never, I'm not going back. I'm done. I've read for you. I'm gonna go live in the woods. I honestly. Well, I do the apocalypse next week, so we can have a real version of what I'm gonna do. Because I'm done. I'm gonna bring all in the woods. I honestly want to do the apocalypse next week so we can have a real version of what I'm gonna do I'm gonna bring my all my stuff with me. I think it's the best episode we've ever had. I'm just gonna get a little bit of tweets
Starting point is 02:09:51 I hate everybody. Everybody tweeted Bobby and saying this should be the new group best show ever now I'm gonna just do a show of paul ver as in rich boss. That's all I want to do stupid I Watch the roast Amazing I mean I was there and then I bought it because I like to do. Stupid. I watched the roast. Amazing. I mean, I was there and then I bought it because I like to support comedians. It's so good. Oh yeah, for best roast ever.
Starting point is 02:10:10 We have to really plug that in for a lot of set. Legitimately the best roast I've ever seen. I was there, still bought it because I wanted to watch it again. Where can you buy it? It is so good at richvast. Or VastRoast.com. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:23 Hey, this Dave Smith in the audience. It was Jim Cervical. It was Jim Cervical. me in the audience it was jim cernichol magical night and it was so fucking good florin team was amazing derosa was there quen was unbelievable norton killed jesus big j was great no derosa was amazing to everybody was great there was one person that i thought was not great what who was it
Starting point is 02:10:42 or by and you'll know the right. Who was it? I brought it. Why am I it and you'll know. You buy it and watch it and you'll know. I know who it was because I was the one person you did dimension. That's the good way to sell it. No, there's five other people. Oh, we could sell it. We could sell it to you in that picture. You could sell it the other way.
Starting point is 02:10:55 I sold it by saying it's the best roast ever. Yeah, but then you said the one person bombed. I didn't say they bombed. I said they weren't great. Which means they could have been very good. Were they very good? No, because they're not gonna answer. You're gonna go,
Starting point is 02:11:08 you shouldn't do that. I didn't even go there by that roast. I actually bought it. I myself, because you're right, it's five dollars. The label, he said, he goes, he goes, it's supposed to be a roast, not filmed. And then out of the blue, he's like, we're filming that. I'm like, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 02:11:26 You can't just film, you can't just say, you gotta solve it, agreed to this, and then we're gonna film it. He's like, we're gonna split the money. I go, how? How are we gonna split, how do we know? What am I gonna get my account to audit you? I mean, there's 20 people in this file.
Starting point is 02:11:40 Don't worry about it. The production team, the production team. What fucking, now you're with the production production company you didn't even ask us he is such a hunk of shit rich boss And now he's selling it on his site So they're great though, but it is the best I Was in it so I'm not gonna say but everybody said it was the best roast ever seen It was amazing. Oh, I can't wait to watch it. I got a buy it when I go home. It was great rich boss calm My team was fucking so good. Everyone was great.
Starting point is 02:12:06 But I thought you was great. Really? Can I now Joe's being mean to you? No, no, you were great too. Of course. What? I've just thought now you stick up for me at the very end of the show you stick up for me. Those are all great photos. Yes, I just got a photo. It's great. I'm just gonna a text from a number I don't have. And it says, hey, Gabby, please think Joe lists for plugging the roast. Oh, wow. Say you the fuck is this?
Starting point is 02:12:36 That's probably in my past X. Wow. So Bobby, you'll be healthy to the nasty show this year at Montreal I Don't know I'm Mike with the business. Okay, I literally my quit Don't come to the show you've ever done if Bob I'm into the world you can see him at the nasty show hosting Brab Williams Nikki Glazer Mike Britt Derek Who is that?
Starting point is 02:13:02 Seguin oh I know miss Pat Oh, I know that. Miss Pat. I mean, Miss Pat. I love Miss Pat. I heard she's a killer. She's from Indianapolis. Well, she's from Atlanta, but she lives in India. I don't know who's close in that fucking show, but it's going to be. It's pretty crazy.
Starting point is 02:13:15 Britt kills. Brad gets standing. No, Nikki has been fucking murdering it. Killer Fallon. I mean, she's not the seller. And she introduced me to the woman izer 400. Miss Pat had heard nothing of a good things. And this guy Derek, I heard he's he killer too. So nasty show go to what is it? Ha ha ha calm for tickets. And and also this
Starting point is 02:13:42 week I'm at where you're going gonna be at the Laughing School in Atlanta? Laughing School, I'm the first time I've ever been there. Oh, so fun. You made this little video for you. Oh, there you go. How about that? Nice. So let's put that up there.
Starting point is 02:13:54 Make sure you retweet it in Atlanta if you're coming. Retweet the stuff, get it out to all the fans, cap city next week, go to robbercadalive.com for all the tickets. And Wednesday night we got Gabby and Mike you there too right? Yes. So tomorrow night we're at the fat black pussycat doing our thing and I invited who did I invite
Starting point is 02:14:14 down? Molin and Stavros. Molin Saros coming down to a spot. Oh fun. So it's gonna be a good show at the fat black you guys Listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs
Starting point is 02:15:28 Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet and they're all free and they're all free. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com

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