Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Music, Movies and Fights

Episode Date: June 29, 2011

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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Glory Hall Radio Network GloryHor radio.com Hey, what's up? Robert Kelly. You know what, dude? Podcasts on the Gloryhole Radio Network. GloryholeRadio.com. You can go there and listen to all this fucking fine horse shit. Jim Florentine's is up there. The glory hole. The Jersey jerks, why you sucking bed. Mad scientist party hour. There's a bunch of other podcasts up there.

You check it out, but we're we're here. This is the new home of the podcast. You know what, dude? Check it out, but we're here. This is the new home of the podcast. You know what, dude? And I put out a podcast yesterday with me and Jim Norton, and I wanted to do another one for Tuesday with me in my pal, Joe D. So we're on the Glory Home Network. It's official.

This podcast has upgraded itself. It's official now. It is. So all the bullshit complaints I got, you know, on iTunes, dude, it says unknown. The thing, there's no info. You can't get it on Android. You can't, dude, how can I fucking why the fuck and blah, blah, blah? It's all over. The bitching should be over. Yeah. Because now you can get it on Android. should be over. Yeah. Cause now you can get it on Android. You can go to gloryholeradio.com and you can get my show on everything. It's on iTunes with all the information now about the show and all the bullshit. And it doesn't say unknown and you can get it on Stitcher.

If you have the Stitcher app and if you do get it on Stitcher, if you go to Stitcher, it's a great podcast app for your phone, promo code, fart, put in promo code, fart, and you'll be helping out the show. Robert Kelly, you know what, dude, podcast, it's on the RSS feeds up there and Roy, everything's up there. So the new podcast and new sound, the sound, I don't know if you got to know the sound quality, it's fucking amazing now. And Joe, would you agree?

Yeah, everything you just said. And that's one way to say it. There's another way to say everything you just said. How's that? I would say you sold out to the demands of the people instead of doing what you wanted to do as an artist, I would say you sold out to the demands of the people. Instead of doing what you wanted to do as an artist, you let the public pressure you.

Well, because I used to do it on the iPhone. We'd go anywhere. We'd be at a coffee, having coffee outside on a bench. We'd be on a fucking train in a car. And I just whip up the iPhone and just talk. It was fucking real, dude. It was raw. I just email it from the phone right to the website. And if you wanted it, you had to find it.

You had to go and get it. And if you didn't have the equipment that you wouldn't fucking listen to, it wasn't for you then. But now it's out there for everybody. This is like dude, man. What does this like? This is like when Nirvana went to the major labels. Really?

Everybody was like, oh, it's too produced. What are this like? This is like when Nirvana went to the major labels. Really? Everybody was like, oh, it's too produced. What are they doing? Well, let's hope that the ending is similar. One of us takes a shotgun and fucking takes our brain out to the back of our skulls. I love Nirvana. I love Nirvana. I wasn't out of Nirvana slam. I love the major label albums.

I was just, you know, the first thing I could think of. Yeah, I put you on the spot. It was good, though. That was first thing I could think of. Yeah, I put you on the spot. It was good, no, that was a good one. Yeah, I liked it. I couldn't think of another band that went to the major label, like, it was the only one I could think of. Well, you could, uh, Green Day.

There, yeah, that's a better one. That's a way better one. Oh, God, that was perfect. Want to do it over? It's my podcast, we can do anything. Let's do it. Ready? Yeah.

Yeah, dude, it's like, uh... It's like when Green Day went to the major labels. Yeah, and then they have a play. Yeah, they were down in the punk clubs doing it raw and then all of a sudden they went to... whatever records it was. Yeah, let's play. Some big labels. Let's stick to the... the Vrana was bad. Just to produce. The play was a good reference though. The play was a good reference. It was a good play too. Did you see it? No, I just said it's a good play. It was critically claimed. Really?

You know when it ended on Broadway, they green day came out and played like a concert for the fans. They played for like an hour. No shit. I thought that was cool. I respect those guys. Like that they're still... They're the only band... When that like punk wave happened in the 90s. They're the only... I mean, there are bands that were part of that wave that I'm a bigger fan of, that I still really listen to, that are still out there doing it and they're great. But I have to admire that Green Day

was the one that stayed in the mainstream like that. I mean, that's incredible to me. Yeah, but I mean, they did lose a lot of their fans. They came out, they were this punk rock, fucking edgy, you know, lunatics. They were never really that edgy though. They were a little edgy when they first came out at that time. The songs were a little weird and fucked up.

And then their original fans turned on them because everybody liked them, because they were writing songs, they wrote, as soon as you write a ballad, I remember in the 80s when the rock bands like fucking white snake and shit All of a sudden they had a you had to write a ballad to become a hit to become you know You could sell a bunch of albums to your fans with some rock shit

But as soon as you wrote a ballad like even Molly crew coming home home sweet home Sweet home soon as you write a ballad dude. You got all these fucking broads listening to you You're you're fucking huge. That's why ACDC is the greatest. They never wrote the ballot. They wrote one ballot really early on and it never got released except for like, you know, you got to go to like Australia and to find it. Yeah. Ozzy wrote a fucking ballot. Oh, well, as he said, a few ballots, I believe, hasn't he? Yeah, yeah, a couple of ballots. I mean, they're not bad. I like fucking Molly Crew home sweet home. Yeah, like that song. It's a great song. I mean, then a bad I like fucking Molly crew home sweet home. That's like that song It's a great. So I mean the ballad's a good even white snakes fucking

The ballad whatever the fuck that was I like any white snake song. Oh really? Well except here I go again on my own. Yeah, white snake. That's white snake. Yeah, where's that white? Well, yeah, that's white snake. I actually saw the great white snake tour With great what was a great white was it all great white yeah i saw them together was great white uh... great white song was uh...

was uh... what was it i don't remember i forgot everything they would they remember they had fired they were doing the show and they were like, Oh, in Rhode Island? Or something? Yeah, they had Rhode Island. They had, it was like, when those old rock clubs, like really small, low ceilings,

they were doing pyro-technic shit. And they shot, at the end of the concert, they fucking lit the place on fire and people died. Did you see that what Metallica does on stage now? No. Because remember they had that, remember the thing happened when they were on the black album tour where James Hetfield went up and fucking flames because he was standing over the flame.

Yeah. They re-enact that now, like at the end of the show, where like a guy catches on fire, they make it look like it's Hetfield and he catches on fire and the guy's running around and flames and the band's going, oh no! Oh, that's a fucking, they meet loaf. Why are they doing that? I don't know. I mean, Metallica, I've seen them three times. Best concert I've ever seen in my life.

And I love Metallica. They're not my favorite band, but I love them. And it was the best concert, better than my favorite bands. Like, it was best concert ever saw, they're amazing. So I can't knock whatever they do live. I'm like, I'm sure if I was there, it would probably be great. I just was shocked that they would reenact something so fucking traumatic. It's like Jesus Christ dude.

It's kind of funny. Some poor fucking dude has to let himself on fire every night though, he has to show up, get ready, put the fucking pyro-technic gel on, wait for his cue, and then someone lights him on fire, and then he runs around. That'd be like if prior when a stage it was like, I'm gonna re-enact when I got diagnosed with MS.

No, he just re-enact when he fucking blew his face up, free-basin. I wonder if they give him like a good job. You're an act when he fucking blew his face up. Free basin. Ha ha ha ha. But I wonder if they give him like a good job. You know what I mean? After when they put him out and they take him backstage and he's breathing heavy, he just got lit on fire if the guy gets a good job.

That was a good one tonight. Did you know they give that to the top groupies? That's the guy where they go. You wanna bang us? You bang the fucking guy that went up in flames first. The great white song was save all your love That's Yeah

That's the ballad, but that's not what was the rock the the really famous great white song There was the one there was the one where it's like wasn't a ball it was uh... i don't know you're we i don't know yet wait wait wait uh... hold on can i look on here

now this is driving crazy i got it i got to find this real quick they had it wasn't a barrel it was like a rock man That's it. That's it. No, this is it right here. This is their big song No, this isn't it. This is it. It's not a big song. Yeah, it is dude. It's this is it Man, this is it. This is the big that's the riff from a this is their big song, dude This isn't it this is it dude. Yeah, this is hold on. I'm on Once bitten twice shy. That's what it was you don't remember this song. No song I don't remember this song? No This song?

I don't know it I don't know it I'm waiting for the night to go Yeah, I don't I hate when they do fucking live Once been tw- I'm once been tw- Twice shy baby That song

And then they had Rock Man Rock Man You don't remember that song. And then they had rock man, rock man. You don't remember that song? That was one of their great songs. This is how I can prove that this was, that once bitten twice shy was their biggest song. Why?

Because these fucking assholes, they released that album called Once bitten. And then the next album was called Twice shy. And then they released Once bitten twice shy EP. And then they released Once Bitten Twice Shy EP. And then they released Once Bitten Twice Live. They fucking milked that song as much as they fucking could have. That was the one, you don't remember that song? Yeah, no, I remember that song too.

Oh, it's stunk. I did, I saw it twice. I saw Great White and I saw the great white snake tour What law did you break where the penalty was having to see great white twice? Oh, I fucking let dude I love that fucking cheese metal back in the day. I love that I like it's a motley crew twice Oh, did I love the Tommy Lee comes out upside down playing the drums over the crowd? Yeah, I love the Fuck you I saw the crew open up for Aerosmith and Long Island with Burr. Yeah.

And Aerosmith was insane, man. They were amazing. Joe Perry's son, who's a friend of ours, Aaron got us into the show and got us backstage. We met Joe Perry. We met Joey Kramer. It was fucking great. And Aerosmith, I'm was just saying this because we were friends

with the guy, like, I was Smith fucking unbelievable. Leveled, they were amazing. They're great. But the crew opened up and it was like, in one of their bad periods, and Vince Neil came in as all fat. I swear to God, he looked like Bobcat Goldway

in police academy too. Wow, shit. Like he just was all fat with long hair and he, they just didn't have it, they did. If you look physically, the bands that still have it, they physically still have it too. They look kinda, they've been that, they've had that look, even when they were younger,

they looked at like old rockers. Like, you know, Steven Tyler Perry, they've looked the same for years, the stones, you know, Bruce, all those fucking guys, they really haven't changed physically. Psychologically, when the guy changes physically, the lead singer or somebody, they start looking different, the music is in the same. You can't, I watch Sammy Hagar. That Sammy Hagar is the saddest thing I've ever seen.

Have you seen the concert on hd net. Uh-uh. It's him and He just keeps getting Mageritas Because he has his tequila Cabo Wabau tequila and he just keeps going and grabbing and he makes it. It's not a concert. It's a party Drink and he keeps taking sips. He has hot chicks come out with Magerita glasses He takes a sip and then he just throws it out into the crowd so the whole crowd's getting fucking soaked with tequila and fucking You know sugar water the whole shi mussock you go over my Sammy and then they shoot out confetti at the end

So just even like a fucking papamashay Fucking pinata by the time you leave that just like you just show galagher He fucking I mean he's good, but he surrounds himself with a younger players too Which he just sticks out like a fucking sore thumb just a fact you know He's t-shirt hangs out on the bottom because of his gut. He really doesn't fit. Oh, dude, he's a Margarita rock. Let's call it Margarita rock, like Jimmy Buffett, all that kind of shit.

It's my least favorite music probably ever of all time. I'd literally rather listen to opera, than listen to a fucking Jimmy Buffett out, and I hate it. But that lifestyle looks amazing to me. What, just gig in and drink in and eat. It's on the beach. That whole thing, like on the beach with a coconut drink.

If I lived on the beach, I'd probably love it. I love the, like I would love the beegeamy buffet. Like I'm like, this guy is probably a blast hang out with. He has a great time. He is. He takes his friends. I know a guy who's friends it is. He takes his friends just like, let's go's friends it is he takes his friends Just like let's go where we go and we're going to Africa. We're gonna go cross Africa on a fucking Jeep

And then stop often fucking Iraq do a show for the troops and then we're gonna swing over to fucking Paris for lunch Yeah, they so loaded dude every one of those guys is a pilot license God damn it looks like fuck yeah but that his song stink man his song stink but he sticks to he doesn't he doesn't do anything that's what sucks with you know certain guys even me I guess with my podcast now because I went to glory hole radio com that you know you change for the people You know certain guys even comics start doing stuff for Mainstream to become mainstream and it's just not the same, right? You know what I mean?

It's just not the same, but these guys I mean these guys don't give a shit These guys don't care right it's like alright hate me you can fucking hate me Jimmy Buffett stinks so what I sell out I make a million fucking billion gazillion dollars It's one of the richest guys on the planet right and he just performs to fucking fat ladies and dudes in Hawaiian shirts One of my good buddies Pete loves Jimmy Buffett. He's my age. It's like it's weird my good buddies, Pete loves Jimmy Buffett. He's my age. It's like it's weird when a guy your age loves Jimmy Buffett. That makes me believe in reincarnation. That makes me believe that some, you know what I mean?

He's really just this 50 year old douche that got into a car accident, like down in the keys, and he came back as a young guy. Yeah, he loves Jimmy Buffett, man. He wears Hawaiian shirts. He has like a bumper sticker that says like, Parrot Head and proud of it, because that's what his fans are called Parrot heads.

I fucking hate every, people who have that, like the, you know, Dane has the Sufais. Jellis, I want that. I want a fucking logo in a saying so bad, the fucking I broke my knees You know what dudes are the fatso's this is a dudes the dudes dudes dudes dudes. I should that's my thing Joe D triple O DS dudes dudes. I am a dude. We just coined it right here. That's you're a dude. Yeah Triple O. No, it's triple you know No, O's, because you got to spell it phonetically.

Dude, no, it's use. I'm telling you, if you saw DUUUD, you'd be like, does? What is that supposed to be? Now we'll see, it's over now. I took a phonetic spelling class in college. I'm telling you something. You took a phonetic spelling class? Yeah, it was part of, it was part of, because I was in theater and video production,

television production. So you took a phonetic spelling class for when you write, when you write a script and you have to write it in like a dialect or an accent and you need the reader to understand what the accent is. Right. They used to do that a lot. Is that why you correct all my shit on the script

all the time, you're like, well, we gotta put it this way, dude. Well, no, that's just basic English. I'm gonna spit it out. I'm gonna spit a sip of coffee all over my fucking brand new MacBook Pro. You can't. That's just basic. Ah boy, I've gotten a lot better though. No you've got great. In the last year we've been writing together for two years.

Yeah, probably two years, a solidly for the last six months, maybe seven months. You've got amazing attitude. I literally, I mean, this is such a common. I've never seen somebody learn so quickly and adapt so quickly. It's like, you're a guy where you go, you do it like this and you go, all right, and then you just do it like that. You remember it. I suck at that. I'm like, I have it like this and you go, all right, and then you just do it like that. You remember it.

I suck at that. I have to keep going back and going, how do you do this again? Yeah, they call it a quick study. It's great. I'm a quick study. I said to Burdy other day, because this is another thing I'm learning about you,

is that you're, you really do enjoy writing and you actually have this like deep emotional side to you, like you have a very poetic side to you. And I go, if Bobby was raised in a different environment, he would have been, he literally would have been like, one of those like downtown poet guys, like that would just like sit in a coffee shop and write his novels and shit, you know what I mean?

Like you would have been that guy. And you were raised in a difference, so you took it into comedy and just as fucking great, you know what I mean? But I'm always curious to think, or when I think about like, if you weren't raised in such a tough, aggressive environment, you know what I mean?

Well, you know what I mean? Would you be a comic, or would you be like a novelist or something? You know what I mean? You know, if I look back, I've recently looked back in the last couple of years of where this stems from, because I'm not, I'm highly intelligent, I know a lot of shit, and I picked up shit quick, but

if I look back, I remember in sixth grade was probably the last time when I started drinking, and when I started, you know, partying and being a fuck up was 6th grade and that was when I stopped taking school serious and it's amazing to me how you can pass all these grades now I was in and out of jail from you know seventh grade to ninth grade I was in and out of jail and in jail you pretty much you go to class, but you know You know, it's you know, it's it's like a fucking it's like a drawing Yeah, describe what you see in the drawing right and then you and then you go and you play fucking with a ball up But you know basketball in the yard for a little bit, and then you're done

There's like an hour of school a day. They're required to have you do and it's just basic bullshit So you don't snap and fucking punch one of the counselors or one of the guards and flip out and leave. And then even in the rehabs, the rehab, I was in rehab for a year. And there was no school, there was no schooling. It was basic bullshit. And then when I, even when I went back to school in and out of jail, I was in the rubber rooms, which was, you know, you get a paragraph,

and then you answer five questions on the paragraph, A, B, or C. And then you go play kickball. Or you go lift weights. We had a weight bench in the class. So, kickball is so funny, dude. It's like, that's such, that sounds like that's the one sport for that. If you said baseball or whatever, it wouldn't sound, you know, but it's like, yeah, we're in these like

these these these these you know, for lack of remedial classes, like you said, yeah. It was a dumb room. Yeah, and it's like, you guys want to play kickball? That's in the realm of dodgeball. Yeah, it was really funny. I wasn't dumb. I just never I never I never I never had the fucking opportunity to learn and even I I made it to college I Graduated high school. They had to actually forge credits. Oh my credit. I didn't graduate really my my counsel Even in high school when I went back in ninth grade to go to ninth to tent to get out of the rubber rooms because in ninth grade when I got soba soba soba and

um Went back to school and I wasn't drinking had my shit together. I Went to the rubber rooms again I went to two classes a day and then I worked at a styrofoam factory for the rest of the day I like work release at school. Oh shit So when I went back the next year the guy guy was like, look, you're gonna go into mainstream classes, but he had to forge credits. So he was like, he was just, he had a piece of paper

and he's going, what'd you do when you're in jail? What did you do art? Yeah, I did art. Great, that's a credit. Did you do any schooling? I was like, well, you know, a few times a week, we'd sit down and do this paragraph shit. He was like, all right, that's English. Jesus Christ.

Do you ever get a history quiz? Yeah, history. You did three credits, boom, you're good. And he threw me in the mainstream classes. Wow. And I did good though. For two years I took math and English and all that shit and I barely made it by. I did it and I used to have chicks do my fucking homework and I had this one Jewish chick,

smoking body, but kind of goofy face, glasses, and she loved me and I used to have her do my homework all the time and just give me the shit and I'd pass it in. And then when I went to college, I went to college for art. So I had basic math, basic English, basic, I don't know what the fuck, sociology or some shit like that, I don't know what it was.

Even then, I just barely made it by. I failed English in basic math my last year of college. I failed them. And then I quit and went into comedy. So I never fucking learned shit. I never learned anything. I never learned, I just never had the opportunity from sixth grade until fucking second year of college.

I had, you know, I had nobody fucking taught me shit. Wait, real quick. Why are they called rubber rooms? Ah, because you fucking retarded, you know, like the padded walls. So you don't have to. Oh, that's okay. Yeah. So know, like the padded walls. So you don't have to. Oh, that's okay. Yeah. So that was just the name for him, though. You really? Yeah, but I was never a rubber. Like there was people in there that were fucking dumb. Just dumb, you know, white trash, stupid fucking dumb motherfuckers. I was never dumb. That's why I, you know, I skated by all these things because I was, I had my shit together.

I just never learned it. I never had the, I never wanted to learn it after that point too, I just, I never did it. So now it's like, you know, you know, I'm learning where a fucking comma goes and, you know, I hate that too on Twitter when you fuck up a word, when you, you know, you're on your iPhone and you know, it misspells it, but then you hit send

and you're like, oh, fuck. I read it four times before I send it. I did it's like and then there's these certain people that just read tweets to fucking correct them right they're the correction police on the really dude is it two is it two oh fuck off? Fuck you. Fucking douchebag. Fucking hate you. You know what I meant. Yeah, I read it like nine times and I still fuck up once in a while.

It's all right. Yeah, it's all right. Nobody's perfect, Bob. It's, you know, I was last night. Sometimes we talk about movies and shit last night, dude. And this is what I'm doing now. I'm going to Netflix on my iPad and bed and I'm going through movies. You know they give you suggestions topics emotional movies social culture cultural docs and

witty movies I go through and I pick out movies just Movies that I know are gonna fucking stink yeah I love that I know I watched them yeah and last night dude I found oh my god if you haven't had flex please go watch Almighty Thor oh dude I had that on my thing I almost watched that the other night it's from 2011 I think it was made for TV it had to be made for TV. You know this is thing, TV shows and movies,

they shoot them on different, still, different like, one of the film or ones on different cameras and different processing so that you can tell TV from movies. There's this different visually, there's something different about it. This movie, it's starring Richard Greco. It does he play Thor? No, he plays. Loki? Yeah, well he, it's some other demon. Yeah, Loki. That's him. Loki. He plays Loki.

It is, I watch the whole movie and this is the way I watch these movies and this is the way you should watch them. I fast forward. I go from the big, I watch the beginning movie and this is the way I watch these movies and this is the way you should watch them. I fast forward. I go from the big I watch the beginning the setup and then I move into the middle and then I'll keep moving like five to ten minutes ahead and I'll watch a few minutes to get where I'm at and then I move ahead. I watch the whole movie in 15 minutes. It is a fucking worst movie I've ever seen. And you sit there and you go, did Richard Greco, the star of fucking 21 Jump Street, the

fucking best looking guy in the world, the fucking sex symbol. Did he really fucking watch this movie at the end of it? I would have killed myself. You know what dude? I kind of think I think about this a lot. I want to I'm gonna call my agents about this right? Because I watch those movies and I'm like I want to do those movies. How you don't? I do because it's like dude it's an easy gig. It's probably a shitload of fun. I don't think anybody on it is going this is great. They're all good. Never watch like Bruce Campbell movies. One of the funniest fucking things. Way different. Well no but Bruce Campbell makes some shit dude. He

makes some fucking unwatchable films. I love Bruce Campbell. Evil Dad. All that. I'm a big Bruce Campbell. But I saw an interview with him at like comic Con or something was doing a Q&A right and somebody raised their hand they go Bruce what's the worst movie you ever did and he goes man man I don't know and people yell out they you know alien and encounter when they start yelling shit and he goes all, all right, all right, okay. So he else is like, all right. So he else is like, all right. And if I leave just goes,

you're just yelling all of my movies. But it's like he's in on the joke, he gets it. He knows these things aren't great. And I'm like, that's probably fun. I would love to do one of those fucking dumb movies they show on the Chiller Network, where it'll be like zombie apocalypse, with no famous people in it.

You just go in, you put makeup on, it looks like fun. Yeah, but look at this, listen, there's a difference between those sci-fi and those movies, all those TV shows and this movie. There's no rhyme or reason. Thor had an overbite, okay? Thor, talk like Barry Katz, because I need the hammer of invincibility.

It's fun. And they so, they used editing to create shots. They had one shot of Thor and what's his name? Fucking Loki. Running after each other, but they're in a parking lot in LA. So this is like fucking people walking in the background and he's just running slow motion at each other and they hit hammers together. And you know what they did?

To just to make, they just kept using the same clip over and over and cutting in other parts of the movie. So it looked like they just kept running at each other over and over and cutting in other parts of the movie So it looked like they just kept running at each other over and over. That's great. That's a porno trick They just keep showing the same move Yeah, oh man, that's great. All right. I got to watch it. It's fucking Terrible Thor has an over bite which I couldn't get over he just he, oh, it's fucking Almighty Thor, it's on Netflix, it's fucking stupid, stupid. There's no rhyme or reason to it, there's nothing,

they just do shit. But do you know what I'm saying about like, this is, all right, this is why I wanna audition for those movies. I never get auditions for shit like that. Ever, every audition I get, and they come few and far between, because there's not a lot of shit out there right now, and it's a whole different climb in the business.

But every audition I get, it'll be like, this is a new pilot for HBO, starring Kenneth Brannell. You're gonna audition to play his best friend. And I'm like, I'm not getting that. That's gonna go, you're bringing me into fill numbers. There's a famous guy that's gonna get that part. Why are you even bringing me? It's like, I can't get that part.

I can get the part in the fucking attack of the centipedes, shitbag fucking side made for sci-fi. I can get that part. You could have booked Thor. Yeah. You could have been Thor. I'll do that in a fucking second. You're getting paid, It's fucking to no

bruh. We're watching um, you know the padding and the makeup they'd have to put on you to give you shoulders and muscles to be Thor. You don't need it if you're in the shitty store. How many cares? You had I would watch if you with Thor, if you with Thor and you couldn't pick up the hammer To swing it I would watch that that would be fun. Yeah, be great It's like if you if you had a look at Loki Duky help me pick this up. I'm trying to swing this at your head We were I was at St. New York the other night and and house of pain Tyler Perry's house of pain that sitcom was on right and The bartender goes goes Jesus man this shows stinks man. And he goes,

yeah, what do you think of the show? I go, dude, I would do a show like this in a fucking second. And he goes, why? And I go, dude, it's, it's a cash run, man. I go, you wouldn't have to think you just show up and do the lines however they tell you to do them. Like, there's none of that pressure of like well guys I really think the character needs to go in this direction. It's like I just tell me what to do. I'll do it. It's easy.

I've done those movies. I did. Have you ever seen last night at Eddie's? No. Why would I? I don't know if it's on Netflix. Last night at Eddie's's I was the romantic lead I was fucking the title alone. It's just it was at a pizza shop and

I roll in out of town and the guy who owns the pizza shop is Dick and You know I roll in and he's dating my old girl it's like one of those fucking you know those you know those fucking 80s movies supposed to be like one of those it's fucking terrible it's terrible I was in that I was in the koala bear kid Billy Burr was in that with me Jesus he was the guy at the end that kills me he was supposed to be Spanish oh no I know he's Irish he's Irish he's supposed to be the guy at the end that kills me. He was supposed to be Spanish No, I know he's Irish. He's Irish supposed to be Irish, but at the last scene he shoots me Oh my god if I had this footage

He shoots me and then they do a like a fucking Braukheimer pan on pillie billy's face and he's just got his mouth frowned He looked like a Mexican bandit and he had like a goatee and his mouth is just frown. And he literally goes from looking at me to frowning. You can see the direction. Now frown, make a mad face. And he just makes the mad face. Oh my God, man.

I would kill to see that. That was it. I wasn't so many of those shit movies. Dude, how do you get auditions for him? You got to be shit. You got to be shit. You can't be where you're at. You're in a fucking, you're in a vicious circle. You're in a fucking double edged sword.

You can't go back to go back to those. It's not going back, I never did them. You know. Yeah, but you have a good agent. You're in the business. Dude, you're writing a book. You have a movie in a festival. You got other big shit that we can't talk about for fucking why we don't know happening

We can't talk about it. Fuck. I want to I'd love to do that shit, man. It's uh Was it the Fuck But we just taught you Oh, oh, you know, he's got a great career oh and I'm not even saying he does shitty movies but Michael Madsen he hates his life no he doesn't you have you heard I yeah I don't own a with them all he talked about he was just miserable fucking you have a fucking shoot a movie in Poland it sucks

it's always talking about his shit movies he has to do to pay his mortgage because he lives on Malibu with 17 kids. I saw I saw an interview. There's a great I think it's from this documentary, but there's a great movie documentary called It's called like I recognize the face or something like that and it's all about character actors It's all those people where you go, oh, yo, you're the guy from, you know what I mean? It's all those guys. And I believe he was in that.

And he was, he was one of the more famous people in it. And he was just talking. And he goes, look, man, he goes, I want to work. He's like, I'm not going to sit around and wait for the perfect part. And the, he goes, I just want to work. So it's like, sometimes he's in these big movies like Donnie Brasco or whatever.

And then sometimes he's in these little shitty, fucking direct to DVD mob movies. And it's like, fuck it dude, you're having a good time, you're working, you know, I don't think... There's something very refreshing, I think, about, because would stand up and everything else that we're involved in right now, there's a pressure that you put on yourself

and there's a pressure from other people to make it great and to make it as good as you can make it. And you're pushing yourself really hard. It'd be nice to do things once in a while where you go, hey, we're just here and this is what it is and we don't have to think too much, it's just fun. We're just having a good time. Who gives a shit? I don't know, I like that.

I don't think there's a crime in that. I don't think everything has to be weighted down with our distant integrity all the time. You know, the only guy, and first of all, remember that while we're writing, but we're writing when you're... That's different, because that's how can. Get out of saying.

First of all, you're the only guy that wants to actually go backwards in his career. You actually, you want to go backwards. I wouldn't mind doing like a fucking sci-fi, you know, those stupid shows they have on or, you know, the fucking monsters come in and you're on a spaceship where you're up in Vancouver and you're getting paid scale and you're fucking on a series and you're making good coin. I guess that'd be all right, but don't you want to try to win an Oscar?

Don't you want to try? Yes, I'm still trying to do all those things. I'm saying in addition to that, why can't I do this other shit? You can't. I love horror movies, dude. Because you know what I would give to just be in horror movies? I mean, it would be a blast. I think horror movies are different.

I agree with you with horror movies. I would be in any fucking horror movie. But look, even that one, Evil Weed. Didn't I show you that one? They shot in Long Island with that hot girl? No. Oh, dude. You showed me like, yeah, but...

Evil Weed, a fucking terrible movie. It's terrible. I mean, it's supposed to be like Evil Dead, you know, it was supposed to be funny, but it just wasn't funny. It was just awful. There's nothing. You really want to spend two months on a set, a hot set, with a guy with a fucking shit camera,

and one sound guy, and not even fucking gummy bears, for a fucking craft services, drinking water and pizza every day, making scale. You're making it sound like shit, though. It is shit. It is shit. You want to fucking have Richard Grico next to you dressed like fucking Marilyn Manson. Yeah. Now you're doubted. You'd come on every day go guess what happened at work

today. Fuck it. They made Richard Grico put on this fucking put on one of those speedos and as the leaf covering the dick and run across a parking lot like he was like he was a Norse god That's fucking hilarious fucking awful the uh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it would suck And it just I don't know it just sounds like You know like Rutger Hauer I'd be that guy Yeah, but Rudger Hauer made fucking great movies the hitcher He also made shit, blade runner. Let's do both.

That's what I'm saying. He made both a shotgun. That looks fucking awesome, man. That does look good. That looks really well done too. It looks like they really captured the spirit of like the exploitation movies of the 70s. It looked, because it's obviously tongue and cheek.

Like that looks, I was like, they really fucking nailed this, man. You know what's gonna be, you know what's what's wrong excited about Quentin Tarantino's making a spaghetti western. Yeah, Django on chain Jamie Foxx is playing Django and which will be great and fucking Leonardo to the caprio is gonna be playing. You know, it's supposed to do Jamie Foxx's role as Will Smith, but it's gonna be down because he's two. Two Jamie Foxx will be great.

Jamie Foxx is I take Jamie Foxx over Will Smith any day. Yeah, I think I would too because I think Jamie Foxx will be great. Jamie Foxx, I take Jamie Foxx over Will Smith any day. Yeah, I think I would too, because I think Jamie Foxx will take it a little farther. Yeah, he'll be able to say motherfucker and whatever, you know, Will Smith doesn't want to fucking taint his perfect image. But just a plot of it being like this fucking, like this escape slave that's going back for vengeance,

it sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, I'm a big fan of spaghetti westerns. I love westerns in general, dude. I, I don't know if I've told you this I I was a cowboy in the past life no you didn't tell me that what cowboy were you I don't I wasn't I don't know what cowboy I was but I have a direct connection to the old West. And I've always felt that. I've always watched Westerns.

I've always, even when I've gone and played places, you know, excuse me, in the old West, I've always had a connection to that and I've always thought I was a cowboy. And then I actually had a psychic reading around four years ago and she actually brought it up. She goes, you've lived in the Western times. You've, I go with it. Sure you did, but she actually said you were a cowboy. And one of your

friends committed suicide. And he actually watches over you to make sure that when you're down and out and when you feel like shit, he's there to actually make you laugh. And to make, she goes, did you ever notice when it's really bad, something stupid will happen? You know, you'll step in dog shit or burgl shit on you or someone will do something funny to make you laugh. Something will happen to lighten you up. That's him. That's your cowboy friend.

That is... Fuck her, that's him. That's your cowboy friend that is. Fuck her, it's me, asshole. I'm your friend that tries to make you laugh. He's working through you then. Yeah, I'm sure. That's what happens. Well, she sounds like a real clairvoyant. Do you ever notice what something funny happens?

You laugh? No, no, no. Whoa. She was actually really good. This is the weird part where I was outside and she goes, make sure you feed her touching the ground. Take your shoes off, so I had to take my shoes off. And I was in my grandmother's backyard at the time.

And my grandfather came out and saw me and just looked at me with a disgust. Good. And you gave me the trash that you deserved. And but she actually brought up, she goes, do you have, did you ever have a woman? There's a woman, an older woman that lived with you for just a short period of time when you're a real young.

You don't know or you don't remember her, but you were too young, but she remembers you and she's actually one of your guardian angels. And I went in and I talked to my grandmother, I go, is there anybody to live with us back then? Because when I was first born, 13 of us lived in my grandmother's house. It was my five uncles, two aunts, my mother, my sister, my grandfather, my grandmother, and I found out that my great grandmother lived in the house with us for a couple months and then she passed away. So come on. All right, that's fucked up. How would she know that? I didn't even know that. I believe you had a connection to the old West

I just don't think you were cowboy. I was cowboy. She said I was I think you were like the the like Fat Mexican bartender He no shooting you're that guy Please don't start a rocky Cindy bar You were that guy. Please don't start a rocky Cindy bar. You were that guy. And then other guys cave in it, did cowboy shit. You were the guy hiding under the bar while they were shooting.

Yeah. But then I tried to rob them. I was a sneaky Mexican. Yeah. You probably got shot because you got caught trying to steal from building the kid or something. It's too bad that you really aren't my friend back in the old West and fucking hang yourself. Who was I in the old West? Who would I have it?

I was you I tell you who you would have been. Hey you would have been the you would have been the like the rich you would have money and you would have been the rich, you would have money, and you would have been the rich guy that was trying to change the town, like the politician that was running for an office. The dirty sheriff. No, you would have been a sheriff. But the dirty, you would have been,

you would have tried to, you always fought with the sheriff. You would have got it, like the bad guy would come into town and you'd come into welcome him because you're just a politician. Hey, I was like to welcome you guys to our town here and he'd look at you and just slap you on the face. I'm taking that. You wouldn't be able to do anything. You'd just be like, I was just welcoming you to the town. And then I'd have to come in and go, hey, leave him alone. I'll take that. All right. I was either that guy, or I was a whore,

just one of the women that gets fucked, you know, I was a whore with syphilis, when they didn't know what syphilis was, or I was a donkey. I was just the water donkey that you put all your shit on because you didn't want to weigh your horse down. I was either the guy who made the coffins. I was the guy who made the coffins.

I was a bartender, the fat bartender. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a warehouse. Yeah, you know what? You would be the mad of the fucking creep. Bring it everybody. You know, you know, you can do this for an extra nickel. Yeah, but I got an attitude. I'm real friendly, but I snap real quick. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You partners, you partners want the back hole. It's an extra shilling. Speaking of westerns, have you seen, have you seen Deadwood? Do you watch that? I watched it a few times when I was on. I was, you know, I'm not, I gotta admit, and I get shit for this. I'm not a big western guy.

I don't know why I just can't, I love unforgiven. Great movie. Never got into the old Clint Eastwood spaghetti western. I mean, I'm excited for the Tarantino one because that's my, I'm one of those guys. Like I'm not a big war movie guy, but I like when certain people do that genre. So it's like Tarantino to me, it's like,

he'll bring in, he'll make a western movie, but I don't have that Tarantino flair to it, and then I'll be into it. I'm not a big, I'm just not a big western guy. I'm never been a big period piece guy. I love that age. Like, loan some dove, have you seen loan some dove? No, it's like six hours.

Yeah, it's two, like six hours. I get it, six hour fucking epic movie made for TV on fucking believable. It's the first one that actually showed how it was. Like when you're going across country, we're not all gonna make it. When you, you to make it. A lot of us are going to die. They never showed that in TV westerns or movie westerns back then. It's John Wayne and they got to go a hundred head across the fucking planes of Montana

from Kansas City and nobody dies. Someone gets shot and gone battle but nobody dies. And lo and some do, people just die. People just can't make it back then. I mean, that was fucked up. Think about that. These cock suckers, if they had to go from Texas to Kansas City, someone's gonna die.

And it took months, and they were like, all right, I'll see you next year. Sure. I'll see you in the fall That's fucked up right right right right crazy. Yeah, and Indians and fuck I just love that shit Be on a walk around with a sick shooter Walk into a bar with a fucking gun on your hip because you had to you had to have a gun Because you fucking people just shoot you for disrespecting me at a card game I'd definitely be an outlaw with my shitty temper I'd be an outlaw I

I'd want to shot you a minute times I would have fucking shot you in the knee like a many times I would have just shot you and be like, dude, I'm sorry I shot you dude. I should I don't know why I had to shoot me man. I was just saying you put a comma Look dude, I was wrong for shooting you like okay, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. Have you ever gone into a fight? No, I have a I have a new joke in my act about About how I go I was playing Mortal Kombat on Xbox the other day and I realized this is the only fight I've ever been in in my life. And I'm like, and I go, if I wonder, like if I got to a fight in real life

and I couldn't beat the guy, would I just react the way I do when I can't beat the guy at Mortal Kombat? Like, this is bullshit. I was blocking. You know, he's screaming at it. But like, no, dude, I got into two almost fights as a kid. And the last time I was in a physical,

now I've been in a lot of, no, let me take that back. I've been in a lot of almost fights where a guy will be addicted to me and I'll start melting off to him and put him ahead and I'm like, please God, don't let this turn to a fight because I have no idea what the fucking do. No fucking clue. And for some reason, never gets there. So I'll defend myself. I'll speak up and I'm hoping it doesn't go there because I'll be lost, but whatever. That being said, I got into

one fight, maybe two as a kid. And the last one was when I was in eighth grade, this kid, like in me, weren't getting along and he was talking shit about me and I was talking shit about him and it was like, you know how it is when you're a kid, you guys are going to fight tomorrow morning as soon as you get to school, you know, you plan it. It's terrifying. Yeah. And I remember not being scared because I didn't know what it felt like to get hit. I just was like, whatever. And then he showed up and we were fucking doing the shoving thing and he hauled back and fucking clocked me in the face and like my nose went numb and my eye started to tear. Like not because I was crying, but you know just that when you get hit in the nose and

I literally went, fights over dude, you win. You win, I'm not doing this. There's no fucking way I'm doing this. Like, what do you say? He was just like, all right, and then we were cool. I don't think there's anything, I remember as a kid, that was one of the things that, why I started drinking and using drugs

and hanging out with the kids that I hung out with. It wasn't because I like drinking or using drugs. I really hated drinking. I thought it tasted like shit. It was, I was scared every time I did it because I did it with no boundaries. I was doing, I knew when I started the night or the day with the kids I was hanging out with

that it was going wherever it went and I might not make it back. I was petrified every time I drank because I was drinking it. It started drinking it was going wherever it went. And I might not make it back. I was petrified every time I drank, because I was drinking it. It started drinking it was 10, like, you know, down in 7-7. And she can't, you know. Well, but I remember the reason one of the reasons

why I did that is because before then, before I started hanging out with these guys, I would have kids that would want to beat me up. And there was the fear as a kid in sixth grade, the seventh grade of someone's gonna beat you up. Someone's, you know, the next day or people are after you, people wanna hurt you. I just, I always went to the end, like, they're gonna kill me.

Like, they're gonna accidentally kill me. Like, they're gonna bash my head on the street or fucking knock me out or, I was so afraid of that when I started to hang with these guys and the, this protection that I had hanging out at this certain park with these certain guys. When people knew that I was with them, they left me alone.

Yeah. And I remember getting into fights with these guys and they would be like, beat the shit out of him, dude He disrespect to you and I'd have to fight them and if they If I didn't fight the kid they'd be like dude, I'm gonna fucking kick your ass if you don't fight like I they would beat my friends would actually Would beat the shit out of me if I didn't just you know beat the fuck out of this kid and they would force me into these fights force me into these fights, force me into fear. And I remember coming, I remember I got my ass kicked one night by four men. Me and this kid went, me and Frankie went into the projects at like 12 at night to buy

weed and stupid move and you know we were walking out and we were smoking the weed, still in the projects and these kids came up, men, they were men back then. I was 13 or 14 and they came up and beat the fuck out of us, like bloody to stop. And I remember they grabbed me and they picked me up and put me against the fence. They were like, you leave him alone because I was blood head to toe. They were like, he's had enough. Leave him alone. And they kept kicking my friend. Jesus Christ.

But I just had it broken nose. So that's why the all the blood, he was actually bleeding internally. My friend and they would just kept kicking him. So I remember walking out of that. They left finally and we were walking out and I was so proud of myself. I was smiling. Blood head to toe, broken nose, I think I'd chip my tooth, all this crazy shit. My lip was all fucking swollen.

It looked like a mass frank, it was bleeding internally. And I was like, dude, I didn't cry. And he was like, what? I'm like, I didn't cry, dude. That was the first time I took a beaten. And I didn't cry. Because I used to cry when I used to get beat up. Because it scared me so much.

And it hurt internally and physically. And I was finally, I felt like I was finally a man and I was so proud that I took a beating and didn't cry and wasn't afraid and I just took it. Dude, I, yeah, it's, I made a very like conscious decision. I remember when I was in grade, when I was in eighth grade because I got picked on so much. For what? Just, I was just that guy. Like I was just, I couldn't fight.

I was, you know, I wasn't, I just wasn't a tough guy. And a lot of the guys that were older than me didn't like me because I liked rap music and shit like that. And I lived in a suburb that was pretty fairly racist at the time. And they just didn't like it. They didn't like me.

They didn't, I was, you know, I was a nerdy kid. Like, they just didn't like me. So they would fuck with me I was, you know, I was a nerdy kid. Like, they just didn't like me. So they would fuck with me. And it was like, I had to take it and it sucked. And when I went into high school, I was like, I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm gonna hang out with tough kids because I don't deserve that.

It wasn't me being a weasel. Like, I'm gonna get people to fight my battles. I was like, if I just hang out with tough kids, they won't get fuck with anymore. So I did. I started hanging out with like with the baddest kids at my high school. And shit would happen where somebody would start with me for no fucking reason. I'd be like, dude, leave me alone, man. And these guys would fucking shove me around. What are you gonna do about it, pussy? You motherfuckin' and like they'd really fucking corner me.

And I'm like, dude, I'm not fighting you. leave me to fuck alone. I don't want to fight you and literally These guys and you would come up to me and go like that. Yo, yo I heard it fucking six period today. That fucking kid fuck with you And I was like and I would literally go no, no, no dude. It's cool. It's cool like I don't not know fuck that It's not cool and the next day these kids would come back and apologize because these because my My friends were and they got threatened really like dude. I'm sorry. I was out of line and blah blah blah And I was like this is fucking great like this is great I finally like people aren't fucking with me and then I remember I got closer and closer with these kids and then I was out with these kids

two times and I watched them jump somebody for like no reason. And it was like the creepiest, scariest thing I ever saw was so fucking violent and depraved. And I was like, the fuck is wrong with these guys? I remember one guy, dude. I can't even remember his name. He was like, he was like one of the auxiliary members of the group, like he went to a different high school

so I don't really know. But he was his black dude, and he was a little older than us, and he was clearly fucking gay. He was clearly gay, and this is not a place where it was okay to be gay, and on top of it, black and gay, you're fucked. You gotta move. You gotta go to San Fran.

But he hung out with all like the thuggy, like hip hop dudes. And you could just see the fucking pen up anger in this kid. He was so conflicted. He fucking went at this kid one night. I don't know what their beef was or if they even had one. He grabbed this fucking kid. Dude, he beat this kid to a fucking pulp. And you could see that it was like latent homosexual anger. Right. That's all it was.

And this kid's face was getting the fucking brunt of it. It was brutal. Well, see, you know, it's weird. Oh my god. Is that? It's had this kid. He was just repeatedly holding the kid like this and repeatedly just boom, boom, boom.

And it's faced it. It's like, oh. The difference, the, the, that point where you hung out with those guys and they would do that shit, and you wouldn't, I actually want to doing that shit and I felt like shit. We used to, I remember there was a guy on a bike in front of the car on the road, there's Chinese guy and he was on his bike and we beeped a horn and he wouldn't move. He was like in our way and he gave us the finger.

I remember all of us getting out of the car, beating the shit out of this guy, taking his bike and fucking running it over. And that happened on a daily basis. There was so many times where I was involved and fucked up beatings, just fighting people for no fucking reason. And I got my ass kicked a bunch of times too, but I remember doing this shit with these guys and I felt like shit. I would go home and be like, what the fuck did I, because it was never in me to do that, but I had to do it. Because if I didn't do it, I wasn't hanging out with these guys. I broke a kid's jaw one night, a friend of mine. We were up and drinking and this kid didn't show up and he was kind of blowing us off and the other

kid I was with, we like fuck him, he's a fucking piece of shit, he's a traitor, I was bullshit and then he shows up, we're gonna fucking beat the shit out and teach him a lesson and he showed up and I remember I hit him, I broke his fucking jaw. Jesus Christ. And I feel like shit about it to this day, I still feel like shit and it wasn't- He fucked him ever? We went to his house after and he was fucking sucking on a shake. No, I mean now no I didn't I got a I want to get arrested and I never saw those kids again. That was an upstate in New York

I moved up there and I was hanging out with the tough kids up there every anywhere I went because I got shipped around a lot I would find the toughest kids in the town I'd I always have weed on me and I'd be like you want to smoke to smoke? And I'd smoke with them, we'd bond and I'd wind up hanging out with them. I always waited to find the fucking baddest kids and whatever because I went to so many different schools. Right. And that's how I would work my way in. And I'd be, I wind up hanging out with those guys. But you know, I haven't seen those guys since because we got arrested and they fucking turned into pussy and ratted me out. My cousin, cousin got to know a lot of shit when we were kids.

I remember we were at a party and he was hanging out with fucking gangs and shit like that. We were at this party having a good time and these fucking dudes showed up. Do we were like, I was 13 or 12, he was 14, 15. These dudes showed up, like 30 fucking guys showed up. They knew he was at the party and they showed up to fucking jump him. Really? Do we have to call my uncle to let come get us? And do we have to literally run out of this fucking party

into my uncle's car? And dude, these kids were chasing my uncle's car and kicking it and punching the windows going, we're going to fucking kill you, Derosa. We're going to fucking kill you. And it was like, did it was so fucking scary? You could see that my uncle was shaking up. You know what I mean? Like Jesus Christ. And then like, you know, so then you go through that and then you get home and then it's the fucking Not beat not beating but verbal beating from the uncle now You know because it's like what the fuck are you doing dude? Where were you why the fuck were you there what the fuck did you do? Why are these kids doing you know what I mean?

So it's like this double whammy of like Oh Awful dude. It was an awful nightmare I'm about to block somebody right now on the podcast on Twitter, which is great. She could have blocked that story that just bombed. No, it was a good story, dude. Jesus. I was just seeing if anybody was anything on Twitter. I was fine, dude. It was fine. I'm about to block Phil McCracken.

See ya, bitch. Why? Because he actually wrote, Jay Moore, I hate when, this is what I fucking hate. This is one of my pet peeves. When somebody who follows me, or you know, falls into the comic, they actually tweet the other comic

with my name in it to trash me, but to kind of bond with the other comic. Yeah, that bothers me. And I don't like when guys do that to like when they trash somebody to me and put the other guys name And it's like dude that guy's my friend don't fucking trash me make it look like I'm in on this. Yeah, fuck you You're gone. He's fucking gone. I just what he say though to J. He said J more talk to Robert Kelly If that dummy can do it anyone can like as far as the podcast or something It's a go fuck yourself.

Don't fucking try to bond with Jay Moore. Oh, through me, you fucking idiot. You know what you say to Jay? You don't need to put my name into it. And I'm just busting your balls. Go fuck yourself, busting my balls. I don't know you, you fucking creep. Buy Uncle Paul.

And don't fucking email me to come back because you're not. Anyways, what do you need a lighter? No, I just thought I'd lost my phone for a second. See the new podcast, you can sit up and walk around. Joe, you always have to walk around. You get very antsy on the podcast. Yeah, I gotta get up and move. It's like when you do an R1A, I always gotta stand for half of it.

I can't just keep sitting. Tard. Yeah, I gotta get up and move. It's like when you do on one a I always got to stand for half of it like I can't just keep sitting Tard yeah, I get you. I really can't sit in either. I get fucking lax a days ago I'd you like that one scared the shit out of me. Ha ha my wife just walking the door. Why I don't just startled me I'm just standing there like a like a specter So just come my wife a specter It was just like a haunted house move. Like you turned around to just stand there. Whoa. So real quick, man, I wanted to talk about, you brought up what's his name from Seinfeld? What's his name? Larry David? No, the fucking guy who screamed the the the N word. Oh Michael Richard. Yeah, it's

so funny. I was I was having an argument with some guy this weekend about how it's different between what Tracy Morgan did and what Michael Richards did was totally different. One, Michael Richards was on stage being a comic bombing. Someone said, very hurtful thing, you suck, or you're not funny, which is pretty much is, he's read as a comic. And he's not a comic, so he tried to retaliate and he said what he felt. Yeah, that was real.

Is he a comic or not? Like, I don't know. I've seen him do stand up, but I'm like, did he always do that? Or did he start doing that after sign fell or what happened after what happened? There was a stage there a couple years ago where managers and agencies were telling their actors or their comedic comedic actors. They figured out that they could, hey, go write an act, get on stage, all you need is 30 minutes, 45 minutes of whatever. And you'll be able, well, it is.

I mean, for these guys, because you can go out now, we'll send you all these comedy clubs or theaters, and you can go and do this and make a shitload of cash. You can make 30 grand a week, a weekend, just being you. Because people are gonna show up and just go see Michael Richards. And you know what, it's one and done. Because guys do that, people start walking out, cause it stinks and they never go back. Well, they, it fucking hurts us too. Because the guys who go in and, you know, they're like,

yeah, fuck, it last time we went, it sucked. How, it's not gonna be any better. Yeah, fuck, it needs to be a special event You need to be like that guy's funny. I've seen him before and he's he's a stand-up That's what he is. Let's go check him out because he's not around this area It's gonna be an event But when they see too many shit shows where they go and they spend 40 dollars on a ticket to see a Michael Richards or some other fucking actor Who had somebody write an act for him

or came up with this shit act. And it sucks, they're not gonna spend it again. They're not gonna spend the money. They're not gonna spend the fucking 15 or 20 bucks it is to see me or the eight or five dollars it is to see you. Oh, you got her. I knew that was covered. That's good, good. Very good. They're

going to say, fuck it. Well, it's, we're a Tracy Morgan. He is a comic. He was a stand-up from the beginning. Okay, he's always been a stand-up. Tracy's comedy. I don't give a fuck if you like it or not. A lot of people like, ah, he stinks as a comic. But he is a comic. He's on stage trying to find the funny, trying to find it. He's up there saying, this is what I feel. Let me try to say something funny. He fucked up. If that was a joke, if that was a better joke where he talked about his kids, if his kids were gay, if he wrote a good joke about that, he would have been able to get it across and people would have laughed and nobody would have been offended.

But he didn't, he just said what he said. You know, like, you can talk about anything. I mean, Kurt Mezker, what's his name? Mezker. He has a joke about rape. And certain people in the crowd get offended, you know, once in a while. But it's a funny joke. it's not it's he's not making fun of rape but he's talking about rape in third degree rape in second

degree rape it's a funny joke tracy wasn't trying to just be offensive michael richard's was trying to offend that guy he was trying to hurt that guy's feelings like he got his feelings for tracy was just trying to be funny he fucked up right let it go right well it's you know it's it's it's tough when you get famous you know

it's like we we talked about that on red i one night i made the joke where i go i go trace he just needs to learn to do what i did which is to master not being famous so you could say whatever you want nobody cares you know what i mean like you could say whatever you want, nobody cares. You know what I mean? Like, you could just say whatever you want. Nobody gives you. It's like, once you're famous, especially now, the iPhones are out, everything's documented. There's nowhere to just go and hide and work out the kinks anymore. So he said something that went over a certain line for certain people

and it got crazy and then he had to apologize. It'll go away. You can get away with, you can get away with the apology for anything except the end bomb. That's it, like that. Well, you can get away with that too. I mean, if you say it in a joke,

if you try, if there's a joke behind it, if you're trying to find the funny and you fuck up, that's different. That's different. But yeah, I'm saying. So when you're just saying it to retaliate yeah to Hectler and you say something like what he said that's just a guy who's not funny That's he's not there's no comeback from that well, there's no there's no caught There's no you're not a standup because a standup at that point

That wouldn't be the first thing that comes to your head right is look at you know Yeah, no, it's there's no it's he he fucked what I'm saying though is if Michael Richards did that I'm not saying it's any more right. I'm just saying it's the reality of it if Michael Richards did that with a gay guy And was going you fucking fat. He would have been the same trouble. He would have gotten in trouble, but he would have bounced back. I'm telling you, you can't come back from the black one. You just can't. I, you can definitely come back from the black one.

Look at dog, the bounty hunter. His show's still on the air. He fuck. Yeah, but look at dog's audience, dude. Dog's audience is... Look at my gritchy's audience. Look at my gritchy's audience, mainstream. It's not black people, they didn't have black people in the show sign fell to America do yeah upper crusty white

very liberal like that's that audience I disagree I think it's the same they they're audience as the same it's white people and it's it's in the middle America you know you can't be a hit show unless you have middle america of behind you if their audience was the same dog the bounty hunter would be a tenth as popular sign phone i'm not saying i'm not comparing sign felt dog bounty hunter i'm just saying the audience is the same it's white people tracy morgan's audience in in the in the grand sense of it maybe not a stand-up audience

but his audience for him as an actor and whatever is the same. That's the same as the Seinfeld thing. Look at what Tracy said. I'm sorry, did a formal thing. People already aren't that mad about it anymore. Well because they're not mad about it anymore because they know that he was trying, he's

a comic and he was trying to be funny. He was trying to be funny and the joke wasn't funny. He fucked up, I'm sorry, I fucked up. It's not because of the gay thing. If some gay guy was yelling out, you're not funny. And he was like, look at the, look at the faggot. Look at the little faggot. Look at you, you go suck a dick, you little faggot,

fucking queer. I'll stab all fucking queers. at the faggot in the balcony Right, right if you see it would have been different right because that's not funny He's not trying to be funny. He's actually trying to hurt somebody Michael Richards wasn't trying to be funny He thought he was probably in his head, but he's not funny Tracy Morgan is funny I don't care what you say his he's a lunatic. His shit on stage is crazy. He's not doing typical stand-up comedy. He's talking about fucking somebody in a kidney and all that crazy shit. But he's funny, man. When he shows up, he's funny. He makes me laugh. He's a funny guy.

Michael Richards, I heard he's a dick too. He's a fucking dick. To like comics. He's funny. He's a funny guy. Michael Richards, I already said dick too. I already said fucking dick to like comics. Like he's just a fucking prima donna dick. I'm so glad that happened to him. Fuck him. Yeah, it's, yeah, I hear you, dude. It's, yeah, I got you. I got you. Well, we, by the way, when you said I brought up Michael Richards,

I just realized we didn't, I didn't bring it up on the puck. We're talking before he had to go to the bottom. What were we talking about? It was before we started. I just realized we didn't, I didn't bring it up on the puck, we're talking before him about it. Oh, what were we talking about? It was before we started, I just said, that I was watching the season of curb where they did the Seinfeld reunion. Right. And they did an episode where they went right

at that Michael Richards incident, and it was really fucking funny. Right. And I just admired that they went there. I was like, they knew they had to address it, and they did. A lot of people would have gone, we can't guys, it's too. I actually appreciated too, that Michael Richards was like,

all right, I'll make fun of it. I'll take the fucking hit on this, like, and did it in an edgy way, where it was almost a little dangerous for him. Like, they did it in a way where I was like, man, this, he really walked the line on that just there. Like, yeah. Well, maybe they'll do that with fucking Tracy on 30 rock I bet you they'll make some

reference to it I bet you they will if they're smart they would if they're pussy's they want if they're smart they would it's the they're not they they they push the envelope on that show a lot I wouldn't be surprised if they did I hope they do all right man well man, well that's it. That's the fucking podcast. This was a special edition. We, the podcast actually just got released on, oh, we didn't do the tech thing. I have a tech thing.

Really? Yeah. You have a tech thing. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. What's the tech thing, Joe? It's a website. What is it?

GrooveShark.com. What is that? I'm amazed that nobody knows this website. I talk about it to people. They're like, what is it? I found this website like two years ago. I just went online. I just Googled stream MP3s or something because I wanted to find a way to just listen to music for free.

Not download it illegally, but like there's got to be a way to hears songs I want to hear. Right. I find this website it's called Groove Shark. It's totally legal. They have ads on it and all that shit. You can't download any of the music, but what you can do is you can stream music. So you go on, you type in Pearl Jam or whatever, and it brings up all Pearl Jam's albums. Right. And you can stream them and listen to them and it's free to join and if you join within your profile you can create playlists so you can build playlists in your profile that are always there where whatever computer you log on to wherever you're at.

So you can build these playlists and then anytime you're at A computer, you log into groove shark and you stream these playlists to listen to them. It's fucking great, dude. It's great. And then they have buttons that you click if you actually want to buy the albums, it takes you to iTunes to buy it and whatever. You can't download anything. But it's fucking awesome for like, I'm my computer, my bedroom, so like when I'm getting

dressed, I don't feel like digging out a CD. An hour and a half. Yeah. You know, I don't feel like digging, I care about my appearance. Way too much. I don't, you know, I don't, you know, you know, like I don't feel like

going and digging out and out and whatever. I'm just going groove shark, you throw up a playlist, you put it on, you know, it fits my- I'm gonna check it out. Right, man. groove shark.com, I'll check it out. There's your tech little bite.

And that's it, the new podcast from now on, gloryholeradio.com. Check it out, Jim Florentine's up there. There's the Jersey jerks, why you suckin' bad, there's a glory hole, there's a bunch of other podcasts up there, they're actually really good. Check out Jim Florentine's podcast. This is a special extra podcast for the

week with me and Joe D. Stitcher.com, CodeFart. Type in Fart. And you'll be helping out the podcast, Ron iTunes. Check it out on the new website, gloryholdradio.com and Joe at Joe Derosa comedy at Joe Derosa comedy on Twitter Joe Derosa comedy on Facebook I believe it's the same one there and then Joe Derosa comedy dot com and what's your band's name again funeral in the mirror funeral in the air go check it out I actually like a lot of your songs Joe thanks man well that the first album's out on iTunes and Amazon and all that stuff and then our second album, we out really soon. So check it out. All right, we'll check it out. That's the end of the podcast. See ya. I can't, I can't, I can't fall on your floor You know what we did

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