Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Mutzie

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

From the "One Down" podcast. Greg Warren joins Bobby and Calta to discuss his new special "Where the Field Corn Grows," who's Bobby's new doppleganger and how they all forgot they knew each other! Check out Greg's new special here - Listen to "One Down" podcast at www.onedownpodcast.com  Follow @RobertKelly www.ykwdpodcast.com For advertising inquiries: [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah baby we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what's in live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW. I'm starting the social media podcast. The fact that YKW do podcasts. YKW is back again. We're all starting before them all. YKW. The podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules.

Shut up. You're ruining it. I'm sorry. It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there any better show? This is the original.

Yes. You know what, dude? Moush's energy is already killing me. She's murdering me already. Look at it. Can't hear you. You have to move. You have to unmute you.

I'm else not moving. No, I'm talking to my host, my co-host, my culta. Alright, I did it. You there, Gabby? Gabby? Oh, fuck. Yeah, man. You're frozen in the ugliest position I've ever seen.

Yeah. Hello. How do you, how do you, are you, are you, are you parents? Are you at your house? I'm at my parents. Nice. How do they have shitty internet? Welcome everybody.

They have. You know what dude? Podcast. Uh, my calta. My number one best friend Gabby. Hi. My number 48 best friend Gabby. Hi. My number 48 best friend and my.

That's not true. My number 26. That was an eight. That was purposeful and that was pointed. Oh my God, and yours internet stinks. Could you for the love of God get on a fucking good connection? He has a hundred million in the bank. I mean Jesus Christ.

Yeah, you're saying, oh, what do you think he has in the bank? Do I freeze him up on the good bond jovy stuff? Oh Jesus Christ. Just thanks. Oh no. It stinks off when I come back in. Get off and come back in. You're internet stinks.

You got to go and come back. This is killing the show. And here we go. And Greg Warren everybody give it up. But Greg Warren, everybody, give it up. But Greg Warren, we have a metaphor, Greg. Yeah, a couple of times. Wow, what a tick, obvious. Yeah, no, I think, I mean, we met at Joe's wedding.

And maybe I just watched before that. Yeah, yeah. Well, don't mind him, that's this thing. He, as soon as he sees somebody, he'll fucking run you over with a truck. Well, don't mind him. That's this thing. You as soon as you see somebody he'll fucking run you up with a truck. No, I'm just saying. I'm not, I'm not, you two, Mike. I did your showdown. I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't fucking say it. Remember it. You were in the kitchen. The my head first. You didn't know me there. You have no idea. Of course I did. You told me, Greg Warren's really like, I know Greg. No, you did it. You have no idea of course I did you told me today Greg Warren's like I know

Greg. No you did it. You said who? No, I'm like an owl. I do. I bet Greg doesn't remember me. So you wires. Greg, do you remember mush? Did I did did I do your podcast with him when you were when you were gone, Bobby? No, I'd worked with you in San Antonio in Houston. Wow, so you're a good guy. Oh man, I'm a good Greg. Yeah. Yeah. We're all fucking out. No, yeah.

Greg, you're a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But I never claimed not to be, you know. What? What? Greg, I was so excited about it. He was like, oh, it's such a good guy. I can't remember what station I was on when you were on,

but I remember having you on. Yeah, it was like a AM talk station thing. I remember a little long time. Yeah, it was a while back. When did I meet you? I met you a long time ago too, right? Joe's wedding. Oh, you guys. Yeah.

Oh, Joe's wedding. He just said, yeah, Joe's wedding. Let him answer the thing. What are you? He was fucking lawyer. Oh, I knew it. Gabby, do you know Greg? Can you hear me?

No, we can hear you, but you suck. Your internet stinks. Her father's in Bon Jovi. My internet sucks. You can't even mention on the fucking shore. Okay, he's a composer, he's a fucking musician. He's going down and though, he's in the rock and roll hall of fame and her internet

Tony award winner and My two dollar apartment internet works better than this true. God damn it The best insult for Gabby before the show and it was so hard I can't even repeat it to your face. But it's making me laugh multiple times as I let you. Just fucking say it. You don't want to hear it. Let him say it.

I've heard everything. You haven't heard this one. Oh no. But I said it. I said it in love. Come on. I said, I said, where's that Hey, here comes I've heard that one thousand time. Hey, heard is even the cut. The cut part. Oh, the hey,

I can't hear her talk what I was seeing her face move. I would rather wash most stare at his phone right now. Then you see your ventriloquist act. You're pulling right now. Look, she's just staring. She just looks goony. Anyways, I'm out. I'm fucking out.

I don't even look in at her. I'm looking at Greg and Mike. I don't want to look at anybody else. Hi Greg, is that a crossword puzzle behind you? We get it, you're smart. I, Bobby, I got a crossword puzzle podcast on your network. That's, that's why you do. You're so smart, do the times on Sunday.

We said a hard one by the way. The Do the times on Sunday We said we won by the way The the time the times on Sunday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Saturday's the hardest Saturday Sunday's hard to Cal if you into Quarters word puzzles I can school the TV guide one that's about it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know I wonder if I I feel like I'm filled with a bunch of useless information. So I might actually be okay at it. But I don't know if I'm going to start at the New York Times. Am I pick up a penny saver? I like magazines where you want to start off. Where I put in the vowels and little circles first. Yeah.

I put in the vowels and little circles first, yeah. I can't do them. I don't retain things like words. I don't retain information, people's names. You know, I don't do any of that shit. I just can't, like, people who quote movies and shit like that and know everything about, but I don't know and I watch a movie It's done. I'm I'm finished with it, huh? I'm done. I can watch it 17 times Maybe I remember some and I've done cross-roll puzzle. I tried to look I feel like when I do a cross-word puzzle at like the

Delta lounge I feel like everybody knows That I'm fucking being a lounge, I feel like everybody knows that I'm fucking being a phony. I feel like they're looking at me like this guy's fucking look at this idiot. I really do. I can remember all that, all this stuff from Crosswear, I just can't remember working with mush for a wife of me. I can tell you what happened that weekend.

Reacross for shini comedy. So what if mush just called you out on fucking cheating on your wife? I can't tell you. He was me a wife that weekend with this Mexican girl. She was 18 and a half. It was me, you and Sam de Maris. Oh, yeah, I remember that. I remember that week.

Yeah. Yeah. My friend of ours. That weekend passed. Oh, that's once got Kennedy died that weekend, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that, man. Mike, how's my sound? Is it good? You talking?

Yeah, I am. Yeah, I'm good. Oh, good. Oh, good. You work good. Well, we have our scale, so I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do. Mike has good, great.

I don't sound great. How's that? Now do I sound great? That's great. Now you're great. Now I sound great. All right. So next time you hear me sounding good, just let me know. I'm going to be great. I want to be awesome. Mike, as the producer of this show, I want you to produce the best quality show ever. I wish I forgot Mike Greg. I wish I was you right now. So I was thrown off my Gabby's terrible internet.

Oh, we are. That's good. Yeah. Well, Greg is here to promote his special where the field corn grows. Correct? Yes, I've watched a special. Now you did a dry bar, right?

I did. That's not what this is, but yeah, yeah. Not what that is, but you did that. And dry bar, you know, is clean comedy. Right. But very funny. Like, they're on Facebook all the time. I started watching them like a year ago and it's fucking

ridiculously funny comedy, but it's crystal clean. I don't know if you've ever sorry at my counter, but I and I saw yours and yours was fucking great too. Oh, thanks. Yeah, really, really funny. Sometimes you see that Facebook comedy and it's kind of hokey or fucking, I don't know, it's just not my thing. The dry bar seems to get really funny people that can pull off the clean stuff but in a very funny way. You also is, too. Yeah, you shoot it in like in Utah, you shoot it, it's all Mormons, it's like Mormon run.

You had a line about that about Mormon people would be mad for, was 96 days, or 96 hours or something. That's not me, I don't think, wasn't it? No, that was you, was it me? I don't know, that was you. The older one's old, old can't run, that's the clip I have up here from the me. I don't know. Yeah, the old one was old. Old can't run. That's the clip I have up here from the old.

Okay. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, you know, I remember shooting that thing. It was in Provo, Utah. And I was like, man, I got to get some Starbucks or something before the thing. I need caffeine. And they're like, they were acting really weird about it. And they don't have caffeine.

The Mormons don't drink caffeine. So it was like, I couldn't stay there like, yeah, we just don't have that here. We don't have. The same people that have multiple wives. Yeah, well, I think that's a distant sect, I think, of the... But the remit of the Mormon solution.

Yeah. Are you a married guy? No, no, never. Ever been married? Never. No. You? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm married 17 years. But I watch a lot of reality TV and they have that show where the guy has multiple wives. And I would really be into that. I don't just mean for like this sex thing. I just mean like one of them has to be in a good mood every night. Like your chances of hanging out with one that isn't country that night or pretty good one.

There's five and it's always a party. You always got your own little group. I think that would be awesome. Yeah, that's a man who sees the world half full there. Yeah, it's a get because 16 of them are fucking awful. Yeah. And plus you can't, you can't just get an abortion, dude. I mean, one of these, these these chicks gets pregnant you got to keep it

Yeah, I look I feel like if I'm gonna have multiple wives. I'm going good. I I'm barely I'm barely Against that too. I'm barely surviving a pandemic with one kid in the fucking three bedroom ranch and white planes I never be able to fucking have five wives and 16 kids. I'd murder myself. Well, I take control. I put them to work young. You kidding me?

I don't let them have caffeine in other shits. Because they don't want to let them know the real world's out there. I'll own them till they're like 12. They can, I don't think they can leave. Oh, that one. Right. That's the. Oh, that one. That's the, um, that's the Amish.

Amish, yeah. Not yet. But the, the Amish, there's a certain age that they get a year. Rum sprang again. What does it, yeah, that, that's, that's always a fucking weird thing to see. When the girl just takes off and comes back, just a hoe, just, she likes fucking rap. She's got a tattoo, she's a guy, I'm out, I'm not coming back.

Yeah, electricity, all this shit that they never knew about and they're like, fuck that. That must be a weird thing to actually not have something your whole life and then to get it. Like, to go out and just get electricity, movies, Netflix, drugs, sex. I felt like that the first like, I had a day job until like I was 33 and quit and went on the road and I felt like that the like, because I'd be doing the day job and I was doing stand up and after the show,

the girls would be like, yeah, you wanna go to this bar with us, there's these girls and it's gonna be fun. I'll be like, I gotta wake up. And then like that first night I was on the road. They were like, you wanna go to this bar and get dry? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, do it. Yeah.

Ah. That's amazing. And I swear it was about a year. It was like, rum springing and then about a year after and I'm like, yeah, man, I should it was about a year. It was like rum spring and then about a year after that. I'm like, yeah, man, I should probably write more. And I should probably take you a little more seriously. I started when I was 33. I should probably get to it pretty quick here.

You got here, you got to go out there and explore the late night. Oh, it's great. Yeah. When I did a morning radio when I was like not the host, I was like a third-micro. I would do that. I would go out and stay out until two o'clock in the morning,

go home, sleep for an hour, go up, take a shower, and go to work, and I was like a champ. Now, if I'm up at nine o'clock, I have a panic attack. I remember when I first was in New York, because we would hang out until the sun came up. And then we get breakfast breakfast and then go home. I had a hard time because I worked so much my whole life. I mean, I had five jobs up until I moved to New York.

I remember Patrice gave me a pep talk because I felt so guilty waking up at three. You know, he was like, look at motherfucker. I worked my ass off for a long time to be lazy motherfucker. So, you know, think all those open mics and all that horse shit you did, all those shit jobs you did, all those shit gigs,

now you get to sleep until five o'clock, bitch. Do whatever you want. So, I, now I have a kid. It's funny too, because Greg, you look like out of all of us, the one who should have a kid in the wife. You know, man, I've been told that time and time again, like women are like, you look married, which, you know, I don't think it's a compliment, but it is. You don't look like, you do, I'll tell you, you look like TV dad a little. TV dad a little. TV dad? That's fine, yeah. That's it, that's fine. That's fine, I'll tell you.

I mean, you do, I mean, you do look, I mean, you get the crossword. I mean, here's how you know, here's how you know he has nobody and it's just him. There's nothing on the wall behind it. It's true man. That's what it is. There's no sconce. There's no fucking anything. The only reason that crosswords back there is for the podcast, the crossword podcast. The only reason is there. It's it, dude. When a guy lives alone, dude,

you got fucking nothing. Yeah, you don't do shit. Fuck that. That's just the last thing you think of is, I need a sconce on that wall. I don't even, what's a sconce? Perfect, perfect answer. Perfect answer. I'm serious, I don't know what a sconce is. It's a light fish, it looks a light fish, you know, a little. The light thing costs $300 more than it should.

Oh, I think I know what you mean. It's got like the slanny thing that goes under it. It looks like, we don't say that anymore now, come on. All right, listen now. It's like, it's like you put a torch on the wall, right? We don't say that anymore now. Come on. All right. Listen now. It's like it's like you put a torch on the wall, right? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't say that anymore. We put torches. See you some white guy that looks like you talk about torches. Here's a sconce.

I got it wrong. Can you use your sconces? Yeah. I don't know. I wouldn't know what it now. I still know what I still that's a sconce. I don't get it Can you explain the podcast me actually just solve the crossword puzzle on the air? Yeah, you're making it sound worse. It's really No, it's me by my buddy My buddy Brendan Aaron. I we uh we uh do my buddy Brendan Aaron, I we do attempt to solve the New York Times Cross repuzzle every day of the week and then we review it and we try to write

jokes about each of the you know, we write jokes about each of the days. Good. It's it's it's on Bobby's network. It's it's on laugh button live. It's it's actually a great podcast. You know, we redid the whole network and his podcast and a few others are some of the new ones on the network that we added. We lost a couple, but we added some real good ones, which I'm very excited about. And now he's got this new special with 800 pound gorilla

He's got this new special with 800 pound gorilla who's a partner in the actual network. I love those guys over there. Oh, they're great. Yeah, they're great. They're great. Yeah, we have a great guy. What's that? Yeah, no, we got the trailer.

Hey, hang on a second, Mike. Let's slow roll the trailer. We got an hour to shoot. Yeah. Yeah. a second, Mike. Let's slow roll the trailer. We got an hour to hit. That's so funny. The last thing comics want to do is see themselves. Why is that dude? Why do we hate? I have to, you know, I just did a club down with Mike Versani's and I have these five. Oh man, that was the last club I did before the COVID. I just did it a couple of weeks ago. They opened up.

I don't know if they're still open, but I don't know what happened, but they, I have five shows from them. I can't watch them. Yeah. I just can't fucking watch it. I can listen. I, yeah, even listening though, it's like, ugh.

I just hear myself, one point, hey, where you blow? La, that's the best of the dope. You know, it's just like, fuck you, dude. How did you, you made it this far and pure, fucking just pure confidence. You fucking fat mush. I am. No thanks mush. Yeah, I'm the, I'm the similar, but I'm like, could, could you have a little

confidence for Christ sake? You've been doing it for 35 years. Why did you just bring me up? What is that? No, I was talking about me. No, that's who's that bisonni next week. Oh, the guy looks just like me. Oh, Mutsi. He looks like you, you fuck Joey Diaz and you had a kid. He looks like me if I got hit by a Mac truck.

Oh, man, this is a Bobby out of stroke and we had to take care of him for the rest of his life. You know Mutsi, Greg? I've heard like legends about the guy. I know him. I've heard stories about him, yeah. That was good. He's right there. Yeah.

Hey, Mutsi. Mutsi. Now, listen, Greg, if I have to get up and run away, at some point, I got very ill yesterday. Me and my son both got sick, not Corona. I don't got sick not Corona. I don't I hope not I don't think so already I have the antibodies so it can't be but I Got the shivers last night. We as soon as we're done with the podcast. We did the show last night back in the house He I looked over he shivering on the couch

Uh-oh, and my wife's like, you know, I'm like he's uh, what's going on? She's like he's okay. I'm like he's not all right You fucking you Nazi. he's not all right. You fucking, you Nazi. He's not all right. You fucking old tough pollock from Everett Mass. I make this something shit's body. What do you think he's baking it? He's seven. There's no school.

We're in a pandemic. So angry. And then I got it. I start shivering it I start getting fucked up then I got diarrhea I fucking start I mean it it was terrible so I had to see my kids car bed last night He slept in the big bed, but her why and I literally me and my kid were in the bed today And I was sitting there and I forgot you know when you have you're sick, you forget when you start to feel a little better. And then I tuted, oh man, I filled my fucking underwear like a fucking diaper. Jesus. I just ran to the shower and just took it all, everything off. It was a fucking nightmare.

So if I have to leave, I apologize. That means I shit my pants or I'm going to shit my pants. I just don't do it right after. don't do it right after he plays the trailer. Just give it like 30, 40 seconds, man. For the love of the show, you should put on the air. Really. If I would shit on the show, if you could, I would have to show it. You know what I mean?

I'd be happy knowing you just did it. Yeah, mutsy. Mutsy! When you make the mutsy face, I mean, just shape in. Alright, let's play this trail. Let's see what this guy has chops. Gregor Mutsy. Gregor Mutsy, I thought he was going to say that.

If you didn't play me before Mutsy. Okay. If I didn't do my chores, I got grounded. If a farm kid doesn't do his chores, the bank four closes on the family's States are high over there, man Very easy to remember because field corn is grown in a field Whereas sweet corn is grown in a field so can see, I'm not gonna stand up here, brag you guys about how much money I make, but let's just say I can walk into a red lobster and get

whatever, okay? I walk my construction cycle the day, I heard 37 swear words in under a minute. I was like, that is gonna be a sturdy building. Ha! Ha! Oh, that's great, buddy. Can you do that?

Where'd you shoot it? I shot it in Edwardsville, Illinois, which is, I live in St. Louis. It's about an hour from here. It's all about farming. So I wanted a bunch of farmers to be in the crowd. So it's near a lot of farm adjacent, I should say. Why above farming? That's so interesting.

Why did you do a special on farming? I don't know. You're a lunch with Colin Quinn. You just, you just, you just, you live near the farm. There's something in the farm. I had to send him to the Constitution. Hey, you know, there's another farm. There's a lot of farm.

I, I mean, I started doing a couple of Timothy. I started doing a couple of jokes. I know that but so it's called Mootsie Bobby. Yeah, I started doing a couple of jokes and they about farming. I was on stage like one night and this, there's always farmers in the crowd. And I asked the guy, what do you farm? And he's like green beans or he goes beans. And And he's like green beans. He goes beans. And I said, like green beans, and they all start laughing at me,

like I'm the dumbest guy. Thanks for going green beans. And I was, oh, this is a good one there, guys. It was story beans, which, you know, by the way, that's not that ridiculous of an answer. That's a real food. Like that's, I didn't say jelly beans, okay? I said.

So I told that story a couple of times, and then it just got a real food. Like that's, I didn't say jelly beans, okay? I said, so I told that story a couple of times and then it just got a little bigger and then you guys know Jack Vaughn, it's serious. Yeah, I love Jack. Yeah, I do too. He's a good friend and I was, he was asking me. I was like, Jack, I think I might have like a new hour coming up and he was like, what's it about?

I'm like, I don't know, it's just a bunch of stuff. I got these, like, this one farm joke, and he was like, you gotta do more of that. You gotta try to make the whole thing like farming. So it's like, it's not all farming, but it's about probably about half, yeah. That will... Unchapped audience.

No, ever having a... I hope, yeah. All you need is the people, dude. That's all I say. You need the people and the catchphrase. That's all you need. We're gonna get you a catchphrase after this show. I know, man. Yeah, we'll get we'll get we'll come up one right Mike. Can you imagine? Will and Nelson get hang on one more year. You could perform a farm a they would love you. Yeah, man.

You did a joke about being just act stupid. That was a funny joke at the airport. Oh, yeah, though, you did watch that thing, man. Yeah, yeah, fuck what are you? You don't believe it. Muchie never walks it. That's that's that's that's that what I should have done that for this stupid face. And the Mutsi fit. Yeah, I don't even know Mutsi, but that's that's bold right there. No, it was a funny, it was a phrase, Bobby. Just do that face every five seconds. And guys, guys, gold right there.

I'm gonna be the year to stroke. Keep bringing up, but see again, I'm gonna see if I'm doing it right. I have his clip ready. You have, you, you, uh, yeah, dude, that joke was very is dude. And then there was another one I forget about, uh, uh, fuck, you didn't think about the frogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was funny. But there was, there was another joke after that about queers. The same. Uh, uh, yeah.

Yeah. What was it? Really stupid. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, what was it? Acting stupid where, uh, I was it acting stupid where I was like I was watching TV with my buddy was watching TV with my buddy and We're flipping channels in that show ER came on and I I like that I did like that show and I was like I want to watch this and he's like this so It sucks it's stupid. It's not realistic is like hey, man

I like this show, but I do agree with you on one thing. Like when they, when they have those paddles out and they're trying to resuscitate those people, they should not be calling those people homophobic names. He's like, they're saying clear. And I try to do a dumb face, but it's not near as good as the face here. I just want the photo of Mutze. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. Multiple award winning. Mutze. Mutze. What a fine day. I don't know. I don't know about my friend Joe told me he does like the churches and he passes the they pass the bucket or where they pass the hat and he kills. He makes a ton of money. Just passing the they pass the bucket or whatever they pass the hat and he kills he made some ton of money just passing the the basket at the churches.

Uh, I'm going to pass that irs.gov. Mochi is cheating you. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. What's wrong with you? I do my uncles and irs guy and he's a patron on subscriber. As long as he's paying. Um, hey, what happened to the girl?

She died. Her internet is not working apparently at all. Look at her internet sucks. She's out of her father's mansion on the Jersey Shore, one of two. And she's on fucking Gabbaz Wi-Fi. Well, I liked her. You were would give her a couple more minutes. Look at Muncie. No, she's great. Gabby's great. She's the best, but she bailed. I don't know why she bailed, but she fucking bailed. It was a fucking trailer, wasn't it? Yeah,

well, she doesn't like middle-aged guys. Now, let me ask, I'm old. I'm not even middle-aged anymore, I'm 52, so. So you have all your friends must have families and shit, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you have a gang of single 50 year olds? Well, I know you and you're barbecue and jerk each other off.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you get barbecue and jerk each other off. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, not the barbecue part. But I'm gonna hang out with the car. You know, I'll the comics I hang out with are younger, mostly. I'm like that. I feel like I'm the creepy old guy around the comics now. I don't know. Yeah. Comics. Yeah. What, uh, who do you hang out with? A bunch of St. Louis guys, you know, you know, my buddy, Sean O'Brien and, uh, yeah, I mean, I, I do miss New York,

man, I, I lived there for like five years and I do miss the guys up there, but yeah, it's, uh, go see my dad, you know, that's what you, uh, you, uh, you lived in New, you know, you live in New York. When did you live in New York? I left probably like four years ago maybe. Yeah. We never met here. I think we met a couple of times just in passing, but what clubs did you work?

I worked, I mean, I did danger fields a lot. I got in at the seller, but I wasn't like, I didn't work there. She didn't give me a ton of spots, you know. Right. Yeah, she talked. Yeah, I was, and I came in at the seller, but I wasn't like, I didn't work there. She didn't give me a ton of spots, you know. Right. She's talking about the crack. No, I was and I came in. I moved to New York when I was 44 years old. So, you know, that's never, that's never in the plans.

Yeah. You got to do weighty of 44. Yeah, yeah. I wrote a New York. Yeah. And I remember when I moved there and I was like, yeah, I'm just looking for a new challenge, you know? And then, and I'd already done some stuff on TV and I'd been around, you know, whatever.

And I just wanted a new challenge and then I did a couple of sets and they didn't go well. I was like, why didn't really mean like a challenge? I mean, I just wanted to have instant success in a different setting is what I'm like. This is brutal. It's sharp. It's pretty quick though, man. But why did you move back to St. Louis?

I always knew I was, you know, I was really gonna go to New York for a couple of years and I want to stay in like four, four I think. And I always, I lived in a lay for a while too. Like I always, I just belong here. I just like it here. And kind of, you know, I've always worked the road a lot. But I liked it.

And you know, the New York, I was probably on my way to move back. Maybe six months later, my mom got sick. And that's so I just came home for Christmas and I never went back because she was sick, but yeah, yeah But I mean I got a lot of friends up there still, you know, and Yeah, it was it was great. That was the coolest thing about his all the comics What about the Corona thing? I mean, you're you're on the road every weekend, right? It's just must of fucking whack you in the face. Yeah, yeah, man. It wasn't the best deal.

I mean, you know, I mean, I don't, I, I took the, um, what's the test that you took? Yeah, antibody test. I took that and I was negative, but I swear to you, I had it in like, I was so, like, when I was down in Vassani, like February, March, that whole time, I was just like, un-normally, that normally tired and beat and just, something was off and I really think I had, if I didn't have it, I had some strain of it or a different fire.

Yeah. Yeah, I think every comic, I think every working comic, Clodg comic had Corona. Because we're sharing that mic with 19 fucking people just that week. And they never cleaned no club. I've never seen a club ever in my, and I always tell them, could you please, lice all the fucking mics.

And they I've never seen a club clean a mic in my life. They could give a fuck. I've seen pieces of bread. I've suckered meat out of a microphone in my mouth. I've had a tongue touch it right lots of times. It's a terrible feeling. I want to think that Mootsie was touching it right before you. Oh, yeah.

Fucking. and right before you. Oh, yeah. Fucking fucking fucking fucking pay money to see the face. I am while he's on a stage and do that face, he'll think you're time travel. Mike, what was that? Well, you just put up Mike. Mike just puts up for a half a second and took it off. Oh, it's messy. Yeah. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fui-paras! Vuelades de Madrid, Aumurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Yeah, right here. This show. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Who would drive in our car? But they're too lazy to get out their police car to come give us a ticket. Sort of got to talk to us through the P.A. System and their police car, trying to make us get out of our own car to come pick up our own ticket. I have my thanks. Okay, driver of the vehicle. Mike, I'm out.

There's five more minutes, five more minutes. No, no, no. I have to stop when there's a megaphone. When there's a megaphone. When there's, I can't, the fact that he has to travel with that in a suitcase, he has to have a bigger suitcase because that has to go with him. Sure, what do you say? Bob, you don't know how big much he is, man. He tells him the club has to provide a megaphone. I got to travel his on megaphone man I now god bless him I think he's wearing my watch and you're shirt and you're paying my head

Yeah, this fucking corona thing man, it's and I just got more gigs canceled today. I just had I mean It's going until they get a fight. We're not working until they get a cure. I mean we'll works sporadically Yeah, I'm supposed to work here and there. I don't know if it's gonna hold I'm supposed to work in the Indy next week Indianapolis My favorite thing is if Bobby, if you had where they, my agent will call me and they'll start talking over, like, you know, talking over the deal points of something in like November, and I'll be like, yeah, so they wanna do this.

I'm like, hey man, as long as we're making shit up, sure, that's fine. Like, these gigs aren't gonna happen. What, yeah, what if I could throw all kinds of stuff in there? Yeah. That's great. This is all imaginary. These gigs aren't going to be real. I don't understand, though. It's like, what, I mean, just, I don't know. I mean, Versani figured it out. I mean, we had a great weekend. I mean, granted, you know, Florida had 4,000 cases the next week, but probably because because of Vesonis, were they separated down there? What are? Yeah,

yeah, yeah, that was separated. I did that. I did that in my little beach. They were actually pretty separated. Everybody had mass on. Yeah. But yeah, it was, I mean, it was fun. And I didn't, you know, we didn't do any meet and greased and not then, but you got to be careful. I do, like me and my action with camping. And when we both got sick, maxed my son, we both got sick yesterday. I mean, it was like, fuck, we went camping, we went into a store, we went into two stores

and the camping K-O-A store, and I didn't have him wash his hands a lot. Like I was like, fuck, I would have if he touched a bag of chips, if he, whatever the fuck he put his hands on and some little rug rat had there hit corona hands on it and then he got it and I'm like fuck me do you I mean you forget as soon as you get a little freedom you you go back to the way it was oh yeah

yeah tangiously yeah so I mean thank god he doesn't have it and I don't have it but it's not the but it seems like it's not like surface area stuff though, like touching things. Yes, the thing too though, I don't fucking know. I mean Mike just told me yesterday that there's different strands of the coronavirus. Is that what you said? Were you lying? Were you doing a mic cult a lie? No, Dr. Caldda was being real and he said they believe there's at least eight different strands of it. So I had it and I didn't. I had to simplify the headache for two days. My wife had it for a month. She

still can't taste my buddy Peek out of the one in the hospital got pneumonia and both my kids had it and then you even know they had it. So there's definitely different strands. Yeah, okay. I don't think that means there's eight different strangers because eight different people had it No, no, that wasn't it I agree with you Greg I agree with you Man did you guys get? Did you ever you had done the nasal test the swab? I did that. Yeah, I did it in Didn't mississippi and they, you know, they did, uh, they did both nostrils, you know, they stick it way up there.

And then they go, okay, then the, and I was like, I was bad. And then they go, okay, the next nostril, I'm like, what, what? Why? And then I went back to, I came back to St. Louis and I had a test and they just did one nostril. I'm like, what the, what was a guy doing in Mississippi? It was just different kind of fun. Different tests. It's not weird. They can do it.

They can do the one that tickles your brain. They can do a Q tip. Just straight up. You know, they need to do both nostrils or they can do the one where they just go in a little bit and turn it like 15 times in both nostril. It's fucking ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah.

The rapid. It has a problem with Collette, Mr. Mike Calta though, Greg, is that he'll fucking make shit up. And I'll believe him, because I'm gullible. And then I'll go tell the fucking world and then be like, you're crazy and then I'll go back to him, dude, that's a lie. He goes, yeah, of course.

I'm flying. I know. He lied. There's nothing more accurate than when they take the bloodstream from your eye, but nobody really wants to get that. Yeah, that's right. He's like,'ll let you fuck up. That one. He's got a real like a powerful Now deep radio voice so you believe him. It's Matt. It's fucking magical now those ear plugs you work at an airport on

Fucking Wednesdays and Thursdays. Yeah, yeah, you're trying to get Yeah, I mean Well, that's where's remember let's see Well, I got I got I got a cauliflower here. Oh from wrestling right? Yeah, yeah, and so I gotta have the hook Let me see it. Let me see it now. Oh, this is so interesting because I've always wanted to talk to somebody with that ear. Now, now, now you're supposed to, yeah, just leave it like that. Talk to us with that. So you can't, you can, I have cauliflower cock, you should see that. Really?

Yeah, just from getting a smash by strong men. Listen, now your ear, you're supposed to wear the things on your ear, right? And that's supposed to protect it. Now, is that from getting smacked? What is, how do wrestlers, because you guys seem like you just grab on each other, what are you smacking each other in the head? What is that? Yeah, it's caught. I mean, you know, you don't find it in high school. Like, I, you know, I didn't really have to wear the head gear in high school, except during the match. So I'm practicing. I never wore it.

And then literally like two weeks into college practice, I realized like, oh, this is, you know, you just get, it's just way more physical. They start smacking you in the head. And yeah, it's bad. And what is it exactly? What causes cauliflower ear? I mean, I don't know the science.

The breakdown of the cartilage in the ear. The term cauliflower ear refers to a deformity of the ear caused by blunt trauma or other injuries such as what may occur during a boxing arresting match left untreated. The injury leads to a blockage that prevents blood flow and damages issue. So you now think the word deformity is necessary. I don't think that's I just I'm not lobster boy or whatever. That's not I don't think that's you know, I'm just I'm reading what they wrote. I mean, I'm not perfect. I'm just talking with deformities. People are real they're real, they feel real comfortable asking about it too, man.

Like it, you know, you're like, oh, you wrestled, huh? You're at least come up and point at you wrestled, huh? You're like, right? Since we're doing guessing the origin of people's physical problems, they don't say the form, they don't say the formity. I didn't, I didn't, man. You notice? Yeah, because you know, I don't, you know, you gotta make up a backstory and tell it,

but you and wrestling need to, too. You were like the opening match. Yeah, it's probably, probably. Tell them you're the guy who came up with UFC, you're the review and the graces that came up with it. But I saw those guys, I mean, look, if I see a guy with the cauliflower ear, I would never fuck with him. So it is kind of like a, it is almost like I have a notches on your fucking rifle. You know what I mean? Or a teardrop tattoo, like you're never gonna get fucked with

because as soon as you, I see a guy with dad, I'm like, oh, he's a fighter, he's around, I'm out. I'm out. I would never, because wrestlers, I find, I fought wrestlers in my life. And they're the strongest Fuck a human beings the planet earth and it's no fun I fought two of them one guy picked me up and slammed me on my head

On cement which wasn't fun. I didn't like that. That was unaccompanable I immediately tried to make friends with them in the fight I immediately tried to make friends with them in the fight. I'm like, hey, dude, you like chocolate? Yeah. And the other was bungee. No, the other. The other was this guy. Who was that with?

I was, oh my God, fucking, I did a show with Joe Rogan at some, I mean, some bar. This is back in the day. He was headline and I was open and I did some show with Joe Rogan at some, I mean, some bar. This is back in the day. He was headline and I was opening, I did some fucking show. And I met this country girl, like country, pick up truck, leave eyes, boots, fuck but hot, raspy voice, had a little twang in it. I twang in it. Oh God. Those are kind of beans

are fun. Yeah. And that's right. And we were back to this guy's house. This little fucking guy. It was around all the time wrestler. I didn't know he was arrested. This is little guy, little stalky guy. He started fucking with me. He got drunk. He was mad that she liked me and not him. And then he fucking did some and I fucked up. I just I fucking I hit him. Like I just I was like fucking and he was like, let's go outside. And I was like, ah fuck, I thought that was gonna work. I don't think he said it like that, Bobby. He he fucking I hit him and even let's go outside.

He was excited like a little. Yeah. And we went outside and he fucking proceed I I looked down on ice it was the middle of the winter I had cowboy boots on with the goat the silver tips remember that man I'm fucking slipping in slide and I slip I've dropped me he headbutts me then drops me and I spray my ankle, my ankle snaps, I had a drive myself home in a fucking Hyundai, the fucking nightmare. Man, well, the next day the girl came over and blew me on crutches.

That was fucking, yeah, that's, that's work a whole deal there. That was worth what that was worth the whole deal. Best blow job literally. Best blow job literally. Best blow job I ever got. By the way, those who say those are nice. Yeah. I, when I was living in New York, just, you know, I was probably like, you know, at the time I'm 46 or 47,

and I was walking in the East Village and this guy like, he goes, Hey, what are you looking at? And I'm like, I'm like, I, you know, I don't know. And then he goes, what, what are you looking at? And I turned like, I'm like, I don't know. And then he goes, what are you looking at? And I turned around, which, you know, like if you live in New York, don't do that. Like, don't ever turn around.

So I just turned around. And he's like, yeah, you and I'm like, I just get out of here, man. And then so he sprints like a block and a half. And he like gets in my face. And I'm like, dude, what, and he punches me, like writing this, like just a shot. He's a crazy guy.

And for a split second, I was like kind of scared. Like I don't know why I was like, you know, you sometimes just feel like a victim in the New York. And I'm like, I'm new here. I don't want to, you know, and then I was like, wait a minute, man. I practice this every day for 20 years. Like this is what I did. And I instantly I shot a single leg to the right side. And I picked his leg up and like and he went right like he he saw he was he was terrible.

Like I was one of the worst guys I've ever wrestled. I guarantee you never made a past district. This guy was, uh, he was awful, man. And then I just lost it. I'm like, free. I like on top. I'm like, I'll kill you. I'll kill you man. I'm wrong. I'll kill awful man. And then I just lost it. I'm like, free. I'm like, I'm like, I'm killing it. I'm killing man.

I'm running. I'm killing man. And I, I don't know, like finally, I was like, wait a minute. I'm about to, I'm about to like try to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to kill a heroine addict basically. It's what I'm right. And so I walk off and there's the one, this one dude, man. He had like, I guess he was taking a picture of it or filming it on his cell phone or something man And it was a black dude and I'm walking off he goes yo dog

I'm like I go what man he goes You a champ dog you a champ And it's pathetic, but a little part of me was proud. I'm not gonna lie. A little part of me is like, yeah, man, you tell everybody that in the Eastville. Oh, it's great if you got the revertiation. Hey, man, you know, that guy looks at the TV, Dad. He's a badass mother. Yeah, among all the heroin addicts in the Eastville, you don't want him. And if you do, Aslim, he's going to go to the right side, man.

Don't lead your left leg. And that's the opening of a movie. So I call my buddy, I saw one of my comic buddies, I call my buddy, he's like, dude, that thing's on film man, that thing's on film. That's gonna wind up on YouTube. That's gonna be the biggest thing in your career. I'm like, dude, I have like a comedy central,

especially, he's like, yeah man, it wasn't that good. This thing is gonna be the thing. Is it on? Is it, can we watch it? No, it never showed up, man. I never, I never found it. Yeah. Who filmed it?

Did that black guy, the guy that said, yo, dog, you a champ. Yeah, yeah, I was, dude. I want to create a world star right after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mush, please, white was doing that. I wanted to create a world star right after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mush, please, white guy East Village. Yeah. TV that's the reason. Rassles, heroin addicts, the Rassles, the champ.

Just typing those words in a go. TV that vision quest heroin addicts. That's right. The type in the great Santino makes down heroin addicts. Oh my God, that's funny dude. I've been the great Santino Big down My god, that's funny dude. I will if you find that much I'll fucking make out with you kid me man This is this is the biggest thing. Yeah, I don't know the special. This is this is what's gonna break it Right, but I remember I remember Keith Robinson was told that he was in a comedy gang called comedy

Oh, it's a called mush who wants to tell us that he was in a comedy gang called comedy. What was it called, mush? What was this group with the gang called Express? Comedy Express out of Philly. They had satin jackets that they all, and they'd show up at comedy clubs. They're satin jackets and said comedy Express. Like, he's like, man. He's like, man. He's like, man.

Yeah, dude. And he's like, we, it's gone. I go mush, mush found it. I go, we'll find it. No. Right, dude, and he's like we're it's gone. I go mush mush found it. I go we'll find Oh, oh my god, dude It's one of the greatest fine Comedy history you found it then we found it Keith Robinson Yeah, he had it they all had to do the little int. He put his satin jacket on a hook and he walks over to grab it. He was, he's Robinson.

Oh, it was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. My dream, my dream is to get everybody at the cellar satin jackets. That's a comedy. And we all hang out one night. Oh my God. Oh, there it is right there. Oh, those are nice jackets, man. Can you go? Can you go to his, yeah, that's him satin jackets. I had an MTV member of the MTV satin jacket. Well, I love that you were in Alan the monkeys

and you're making fun of him and his satin jackets. What's the old and monkeys? All right, listen, let's settle down. You throw her under the busser, but you have a good point. We didn't have sat jackets. We had a van. We didn't have sat jackets. And we weren't, here's the thing too. We were a comedy improv group, sketches and improv. Those are just stand up comics that banded together and had jacked big difference

calco. I bet they were doing break dance together and other things like what was the name of the improv group? Mine was Al and the monkeys. That's okay. No double entendre thing. Like, no, no. We were auditioning me and this kid, Al. We're in a, we're acting class and we wanted to do a tanglet show. And we got these two, two other guys in the class and then we got Dane Cook who was Al's friend. And we had a audition. So we auditioned and the lady was like,

okay, great, what's your name? And some lady in the crowd was like, the monkeys, they're like monkeys. We were like, I had the monkeys. And then we left and Alan went back and they'll call it Alan the monkeys. And so they did, they called it Alan the monkeys. So when we were coming out for the talent show,

they were like, all right, give it up for Alan the monkeys. They were like, what the fuck is that? He's like this. We just went out and we won the talent competition. I remember going backstage, go, I'm doing this forever. This is what I'm doing for my life. This is before any stand up. Biggest mistake of my life, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. That wears out. How? How is in Australia with his wife's family? He's got two beautiful kids, a big fuzzy beard and I believe he is a Trump hater like most comedians. Really?

I see his little things on the Facebook, but yeah, very funny guy. All was always funny, naturally funny. Mine to me a Dan Ackerard without the, I don't know, without the, the fucking talent to do stuff. Just naturally funny guy. Anyways, so you got this special coming out. Now this is gonna, where is this gonna be? How much is it gonna cost? It's on Amazon, and if you got Amazon Prime, it's free.

It's on Amazon Prime. Oh no, sure. Now, do they pay for that? Or do you put that up there? Do they give you, I mean, how's this work now? How is specials working now? I mean, I don't exactly know the back end of it. I mean, you know, 800 pound produced it,

and then I think if you watch it on prime, that uh, they get some money, you know, I don't know. Okay, so you got prime, you got this, you got that. So basically you put this out there. I mean, like a lot of comics are doing right now to get it out there, be there. Just like now, everybody's looking for something to watch that's funny. Yeah. And then we'll bring up your club Club money and people will start showing up at the clubs even though it's during a pandemic and nobody can go Yeah, it's pretty pretty a pretty Smart strategy, don't you think? Yeah, I mean

We want to go see him but we can't buy law We want to go see him but we can't buy law. And also, let's make them talk about farms too. That's a really drive it. No, it's, I don't know so far it's going good. I think because it's, it is clean. And I think like there's a lot of people that are doing like family viewing time during the, during the coronavirus or whatever.

Yeah. Um, so yeah, you're you're very um, the word I would use, uh, yeah, you're funny, but you're kind of country funny, but you're clean. You know what I mean? It's very like Jimmy, uh, uh, what's his name? Who's the English comic there? What's his name? Who's the English comic there? What is Danny? No Jimmy? No Who's the English comic mush? Yeah Jimmy car. Yeah Jimmy car fuck mush. What are you looking at trying to find the fight? It's not there mosh. I it's not there. I Love Jimmy car

Jimmy car. He like his great your Continuous is is very similar. It's very funny man. Very funny. Thanks because it's true though. I was talking to Jack Vaughn about this. If you do a clean album, if you do a clean album and put it up on serious, it will be played everywhere all the time. And if you, if you do dirty shit like me, I do dirty stuff. I can't be played on comedy USA. I can't, you know, they won't play your shit everywhere. Yeah, it seems like since Jack took over there though, what I like, because I live in St. Louis,

man, I'm in a car all the time. So I listen to Sirius and he's been good at like fine to even if there's like kind of fairly dirty comics, he'll find the two or three clean tracks that they have and put it on laugh USA. Right. Yeah. Which I think is pretty good. I mean, I mean, I'm on most of the comics I like are dirty. I just I was always I was never totally clean and then when I was close enough and Jack talked to me several years ago, he's like, man, you're so close. What are you doing? Just do this.

You'll get more airtime. So it was good advice. Yeah. I was good advice. He's giving me the same advice that I've ignored for years. No. I've ignored Jack for years. Save money.

Be clean. You'll make a lot of money The save money thing I never really I didn't you know, they tell you to save money. Yeah, I'm not good at that man I used it I used I use money use it all I'm not a good saver either. I don't I don't I mean what the fuck you're saving it for right? Yeah, man I I and I had I think I have, what the fuck are you saving it for? Right? Yeah, man. I, and I had, I think I have a face that looks like I, uh, I saved money for some, because I'll tell people like, nah, I'm, you know, I'm not, they're like, well, you saved some.

I'm like, I didn't, you know, I didn't, and then they want to tell me how I live my life. Because they're like, oh, well, you still got your retirement from when you worked at Proctor and Gamble for 10 years. I'm like, no, I cast that out. They're like, if you cast that out, there are some serious penalties. I'm like, you're telling me extremely serious. Like, hey, unnecessarily, really. What'd you do at Procter and Gamble? I sold the peanut butter and potato chips and cake mixes.

I sold Pringles, dunkin' hines, Chris, ho, Hawaiian punch, sunny delight to the grocery stores. All the healthy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My God, I love it. I love it. I love it. Pringles are great. How much do you have saved by 50 years old in order to feel good about it? I don't want to know the answer to this.

I don't want to know the answer to this. I don't want to know the answer that either because you know he's got he's actually doing the calculation in his head. Nobody got to tell you nobody wants to tell the next generation how much they should be saved. You should have at least 250,000 in your back account. Hey Bertson Lee YouTube chat. Right. Yeah. He gets bored with the road. What is he? Isn't he? Is he?

Isn't he barbecue in a flank steak somewhere? Doesn't he have that? Then he left his left. He's going there to start up and then leave. He said, are they talking about how funny Bert Kreischer is? And then someone said Bert stop now. And then he said leaving now. He is funny, man. talking about how funny Bert Kreischer is? And then someone said, Bert stop now. And then he said, leaving now. He is funny, man.

That guy is funny. He's funny and he's a smart fucking cock sucker. And he has a savings account. Yeah, that guy, he's got 250. He's got 250. He's got 250 times, yeah, yeah. Bert's doing just fine, man. Motherfucker.

Anyways, how's the podcast going? You know? No, you know, I'm really enjoying it. We're getting good, but for, I didn't want to really know how many people are listening to it for at least like three or four months, because it's a good call. Yeah, I am.

But Brendan Ayer, who's a great comic gun New York, I really funny. He, he's, he's, he's, he's better crosswords than I am, but we're really starting to get sort of a thing together. It's fun, man. I love it. Yeah. My, my, Bush, can you bring something up from more than a half a fucking second so I can

look at it? I mean, the stream longer, I'm sorry. Yes. Fucking bring it up and let me read it. Mike, there are, Bush takes a beating like the, the DJ at an urban comedy show. Man, those guys are always, you notice those guys like when they, like, when they, the, the, the, the, the urban guy, the black guys on stage and, uh, and they'll play, but give it up for DJ, man, give it up for this month of

fuck. You don't play nothing. I told it like, the guy just gets beat on the entire show. And I feel like mush is, mush is taking the same thing here, man. I don't think he, but it's not. He I don't. The why they think you're a victim is I'm the victim, Greg. Okay. I'm the victim. I don't. I want to be able to promote your fucking podcast. I appreciate it. For a fucking three seconds and then it's gone. I just think I'm about to read it and then all of a sudden he's the victim because he's crouched down and he looks like a sad little Mexican kid, okay? I mean he's I look like Muncie you get off. I don't know it gives a fortune Oh listen man, I

I'm very excited you came on. I really appreciate it. Thanks a lot man. Don't check out his Podcast I don't know what it is. I was gonna read the description of it, but that was on it's on lap doing mush Thank you. It's on laugh button live One down Go check it out make sure you subscribe to it give it a listen apple Spotify Google And go get his special. I'm starting to see it from your side man. Can you? I mean, children of the corn available now. Just go get a special. I have the same complexion as corn husks. I do. Oh my god. Dude, if I ever saw you in a corn

bit, I'd scream at the top of my lungs. It's not attractive. Dude, that'd be great if the the rest of the photo you had no pants on. Just a big wrestling hog hanging out. Um, well, dude, thanks for coming on and make sure you get his album. Very funny guy, very funny guy. And I'm glad I finally do know you now. Me too. And you did a great job at Joe's wedding, by the way, man. Well, you did a really good job. You know, he gives me a hard time for that fucking thing. I thought you did great, man. I thought it was a good mix because Sarah's parents were so,

you like look at the very serious people. You can't be a goofball. You can be a little funny. I thought it was a little funny. Yeah. I thought the best part is you know Lewis Jay Gomez. He always, when you say Lewis Gomez, he goes Jay. So in the middle of it, I want to see how committee was. And I said, I go Lewis Gomez and he literally in the middle of it, I wanted to see how committee was and I said I go Lewis Gomez and he literally in the middle of the wedding

I said that I just want to see how committed you were and It was that was a great wedding That was fantastic Yeah, dude come back on come back on again, dude Thank you, and I make sure you go check out his special that is out now, correct? It's out right now. Amazon Prime. Go check it out.

Fucking hilarious. You can watch it with the family. And then check out his podcast on the left button live. And I'm glad I got to talk to you for an hour or so. Yeah, enjoy it, man. Thanks a lot, everybody. I'll talk to you soon, man. All right, see you guys.

Thanks, guys. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We have I have to do something before you leave If you had to I always explain that that's for me if you had to you have to yeah There's no there's no out of this. It's either one or the other. As a 52 year old single married, never been married guy. Yeah. Which one would you bang me on my calta if you had to?

Right, man. I mean, like if we're in prison for life, not like in public. You have to. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be to be this is the first time I've considered that. I mean, I didn't think about that before I came on. I didn't think I was going to be asked. Why wouldn't you? We asked everybody. Bush is not an option. No. What? What are you crazy? Okay. You really want to. You really want to go? girls not you should the girls not an option

She's not a very pretty Which one? Oh do the face Yeah, I'm sorry the face sold at Mike. I know offense buddy with the face. Yeah, I mean Yeah, the face What's he face gets me every time? Yeah No, it's just Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry gets me every time. Yeah, no, it's just the, the, the, yeah, the muts face. I don't know what's worse. The fact that I'm losing out to mutsy face or the

desperation that we both have in anticipating the response from another man is ridiculous. And it was close call. I'm not going to say that, but I mean, here's the thing, man. He kind of, He kind of he kind of worked for it a little bit. You know, he did, he did a face. You did you to set there. You did you made like, I'm not going to come here. I wanted to see. I don't like the cheat. I don't like the dangle prizes. I don't expect you to be a cheap or where I did a dangle things the last minute. I know. Now I know was great. I'm on my character, I think I will talk to you, let him in take care. I really enjoyed it. Thanks. Okay, buddy

That was great, man. You didn't shake your pants either, which is even better I did not shit my pants. I came close to a couple times when I was laughing You made me laugh one time time I don't know what I Came very close We have the names to read and then we're out of here I want to thank everybody on the patreon that's watching this all you people that are watching live on YouTube Make sure you go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly Do this is literally my job.

This is the only thing right now that I'm doing. You believe that? I mean, this is it right now. All my gigs have been canceled. Everything has been done. And they're canceling them with no, yep, it's moved. With not even a phone call anymore. It's just an email.

Yeah, it sucks. It's weird, but anyways, I appreciate everybody who is on this Patreon supporting all the shows, Culture and Kelly, every fucking night, which is the thing I think that saved me during this pandemic, the being able to do a show, my number one best friend every night, for the fans that are watching that, you guys are the best. Everybody involves, we want to read these names, and I want to thank you for being a member and

joining. Ready? Let's do this. Andy Garcia. Hey, we sunny Corleon. And the stress in the streets protesting the mortal enemy to lions. A moji face matters. Thank you very much. Adam Martinez. Cracked. Oh, and open. Cracked open. Ooh, that's going to be a hyena hyena. What? What hyena is that a hyena? Because that's what they talk about the women with cracked cracked, cracked open. That's a hyena slang. I know that. Lucas Bakko, Mike Costello, Nate E. Richard P. Kelly with an E. Jonah Simpkins.

Joanna. Joe. Riley Banks, Pondscombe, spring books, 2000, 2019. John Rokowowski, Sather Zachary Van Hoose Jake Phineacal Andrew Borusio Ray so Nick Kay Anthony DeCBIO Cibio

Garage a good ganssen Jorgensen Caught prior to A manual Rivera Evan Boyle Charles Pinkerton Very good And I want to thank Evan, you motherfucker 25 dollar Fucking member, you are a fucking ultimate holy shit dude. You know what dude?

Evan, I love you balls. Please send your address to my friend. I'll contact you on the Patreon. Yeah, contact. I gotta get those addresses too. Would you get those to me? Love nuts.

All right. And yeah, I made it through this podcast, culture and Kelly on everything. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, please follow us. Culture and Kelly, go follow us. I will be putting up this week once I feel a little better, the Bushcraft Party Boy video that I have, it's a small little video that's going up to you guys first and then out to the

public go and then also people are asking me if you're going to do cameo. What do you mean asking? Who's asking if I'm doing cameo? Is Bobby going to ever do this every time I do one? They're like, is Bobby going to do one? I was you know, you hit me up today. both you guys hit me up today and I was like You know, yeah, I but I'm so fucked up. I'm gonna go back in I might be honest here the extra money that you can make of a cameo There's probably better than you expect. It's like oh cool. It's not even about the money right now

It's so fucking after you do like two of them You're like you getting a groove and you're, all right, I gotta go to them. I gotta go, and then you start tailoring them to each one. And it becomes fun. I'm having a ball doing it. Right. Oh, you don't sound like you're excited, but you will be.

Eventually, they'll be like, Hey, Bobby, at least you can talk about your pool, and you're like, oh, fuck it, I'll do it for my pool. I'm telling you, it's good shit. I had a guy tell me yesterday, getting talked to his brother in months because they had a fight and Send him a thing that says that they want to make up and it's boring to play Call of Duty by himself So I made up a thing I called them both fucking plus season

Thanks to another hit me up. No, like we talked for the first time in months and it was great Fucking bringing people together Yeah, but you bring people together you have that thing about you people like you more than Oh, that's not true. We are a perfect. We are a perfect yin and yang I really I really like why if he's leaving them or something. Yeah, I can't wait for that. Yeah, you got fat. I'm gone Hey Peggy. Yeah, I was once being cheap nine. He didn't know I'd tell you. Why is Peggy a fat girl? Is it?

No, we're supposed to. The secretary is rather than you, but she takes in the ass and you don't. Oh, I just touched my microphone. It was wet from my mouth. Yeah, I'm what younger. Yeah. That's great. That's a great. Um, your cocoa, much EDS. Look at that. This way, right? No, he's the other way. Well, for me. Oh, for you. Oh, dude, I was so fucking sick last night. And here's the problem. My kid was sick at the same time, so I got no love.

Yeah, you don't get any sick sympathy. I get nothing. I'm in the fucking, you know, I'm in the car bed all night with a hat on. Cause I'm a shivering. You got shit sickness. I know woman wants to be around that. Oh, no, dude, it was coming out of my,

it was like, my ass was throwing up. Like that type of shit. You know what I mean? It was a, I didn't even have to the show. What? I went and lay down in my bed with my wife who were watching TV.

She got up. I thought she was going to bathroom. Yeah. Came back. I was like a little sexy outfit. I was like, yeah. The fuck is going on here in a Monday night? She was like, I bought this. I went, all right, I felt like there was some sort of catch

to it, but there wasn't. We just did it. I think my wife was poisoning me and my son because she's cheating on us. That's what I think. Yeah, obviously. I think she's fucking some biker guy who has his own construction company up in Katona

And she's fucking slowly poisoning us and we'll die and then she'll just start over That's when my that's when my brain goes. I tell Gavin and Pete if I die of a heart attack Don't believe it check me for our snake because my wife is learned from watching all these murder TV shows But if you slowly poison with artist take, they'll eventually have an artifact, but it's too small to trace. And it's such an old poison that they don't really check for it anymore. So just give me a heads up. I'm serious, man. I really thought that today.

I'm sitting there going, she's, she's not really, you know, yesterday when she was not really into like, he's fine. He's fine. I'm like, Fuck you. You doing you killing us? What if she never expected him to eat some of your french fries? She felt bad because Max ate the fries that she was poisoning you with. I I fell off I fell off my diet yesterday, too. Well today actually because I just can't I had to get all I had to have

Fuck in carbs. I'm just can't. I had to get all I had to have fucking carbs. I'm telling you system. I had to fucking do some carbs. I had to do it. Fuck it. You know what I mean? It's like I'm fucking I feel like shit. I'm achy. Even right now. achy. I'm fucking like I'm wiped. I feel like I got Corona again. Yeah. I'm like I'm a friend. You're in my head too. I got maybe I'm like I got another again. Yeah, I'm like, I'm a friend. And you're in my head too. I got, maybe I'm like, oh, I got another fucking strand.

Is your telling me about the eight strands of fucking death? The multiple strands. You're gonna go get another strand. You just got lucky with the one that you had that gave you the Andy Bobby's. And maybe tell you how adorable you are. Come on.

Dude, your ass last night was in my head all night long. I just kept seeing your little bum with your little white ass. I was in lose head all night long too. Oh yeah, Louis, she's not even in the chat is she dude? She had say anything yet. Maybe I was gonna open on a Tuesday? Um, man, no, maybe, yeah, that's right a she's a comedy fan, dude. I love it. I love how much she loves comedy Anyways

We're at a foul. No, we're not in a thousand Patreons. We are at like I think it said 700 or something like that 7 50 We were at 870. What did you do? Well, no, well, you know what it is. A lot of people signed up for the, when I live from the Sheds. Like the Kumi alive from the Shed,

the, what was the one before that, mush? Oh, I'm sorry. Ari, Ari, I had Ari. So a lot of people will sign up for that. We have the fans of here that they're here now. We definitely, we're gonna be pushing it. We're gonna be getting this shit out there, telling the fucking world, because this is the best thing.

I might stop it in 100. I might feel good with just the 800. Tell your friends they're most likely out now. Or if they want to get in next month, $12. We just take the $5 thing right out. Just teen now. I don't like that. Teen, you think you've gone.

You want to keep going? I mean, $5 for a show every day. High down a month, A month for 24 shows. Yeah, including when you could jerk off and including, yeah, a show that you could be part of, including tech talks, including, I think we're shooting, we're shooting live from the shed. I'm going to get to two, two actors, I think in August. We're going to be shooting two of those

when I can get it done. By the way, did I dream this, or did you tell me a couple weeks ago that David Coverdale was gonna be on the show? No, David Coverdale was supposed to be on the show. And then all of a sudden, I heard he was gonna be on another show and I was like, what the fuck? Didn't we just talk about that?

Yep, we were supposed to have him and it, I don't know. Gabby was supposed to have him on. It fell through. I don't know what the fuck's going on Listen I have you done. Yes, I have something that I Don't even know if I want to turn over to you beasts but I have an interview that I did a richie's hamburger from on jovy and maybe the most embarrassing thing that I've ever done to Richie's Hambora from On Jovy, and maybe the most embarrassing thing that I've ever done.

Not like the goofy Bon Jovy one where I was so excited to talk to him. In this interview, Richie's Hambora, I talked about how in my adult life, I wrote him a letter and stuck in the mailbox at his parents' house. Oh, it's the most embarrassing thing I've ever had to talk about in the air,

but I saved it all these years so I finally had him on the air. I think why I might give more highlights to that one day so we could all sit here and cringes through it together. Can you please do that? Let me tell you, I'm gonna think about it. If that would make me, if we can get to 8. At 8.50.

I'm coming from it off though, 8.25 and it's done. 8.50. At 900, at 900, I will play. We will watch last Nighted Edy's on a Saturday night, we'll watch. Talk over it. And we'll talk over it. Pop up for it. Yes, we'll have much set up when we watch Last Nighted's Edy's

at 900 fucking listeners. Like, like, MST. What was that? MST 3K. Mystery Science Theater. Yes. We'll do MS 3. MS 3 Tund. We'll do a watch along. Yeah. Oh my God. That'll be so much fun. Mike, I gotta go back in the house right now. Do me a fair do five jump and jacks.

I can't. I'll shit my son. You should do five jump and jacks for the people on the show. I can't. I can't. I'll shit my son. You should do five down in the next for the people on the show. I can't. I can't. I can't. Please don't. Please say you should.

You should do it. I have a tail hanging out. I feel like I'm becoming a dog right now. What kind of dog? Like a small dog or a big dog? Like I have a little, it's like a toot, but it's not a big dog. Like I have a little, it's like a toot, but it's not a toot. I know it's not a toot. If I toot, it's gonna be shit.

You should do the YMCA. And if you don't shit your pants, that's God telling you, it's okay that you cheated on your diet. And if you do shit, that's a penalty and you don't have to do it again. Alexa, play YMCA by... The big...

I don't think I can do it. Alexa, volume nine. Alexa, volume 9. Alexa, volume 5. Why isn't it volumeing up? Alexa, louder. That's getting a little bit better. Ready? Ready It's fun to stay at the WAAA KWD it's fun to stay at the WAAA WD that was only two Think you hand your pants and feel it and then show it to us. Oh wow All right check us out on Facebook at our shut up you can

Alexis the mic Alexa be quiet Alright check us out on Facebook, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube, on YouTube Hey, did you like the episode? You get the link? I got it by having a chance to watch it, but I will watch it. What do we have tomorrow, anything? No guests that I know of. So I talked to Pete Corrielli today, so maybe Pete tomorrow or Thursday, what is tomorrow? So I was one of the Thursday and we'll finish the week strong. You mentioned another person as well last week.

Oh, I can't remember everybody. Louis J. Gomez. Oh, a bigger guest, a bit a neighbor of yours Dave Batista. Yeah, I have an even reached out to me. I will Anyway, check us out Calding Kelly on Facebook Twitter, the whole fucking deal. We got it all tick tock.

Take the gold. Join us on Tick tock before the president bands and takes it away from everybody. Yeah, that's a real thing. Thank you to Greg Warren. We'll see you guys tomorrow. You know what? You've been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening. Y ahora, vamos a ver con los videos de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de la web de web de la web de la web de la web de la web de web de la web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web de web ¿Qué quieres? Quiero que cierre los ojos un segundo. ¿Puedo abrir los ya?

Sí. ¿Dónde estamos? Estamos en mi pueblo. ¿Este es tu pueblo? Sí. Pero si es un pueblo precioso y tú decías que era muy feo. Bueno, ahora es bonito. ¿Y cuando dejo de ser un pueblo feo?

Cuando pensé que podía ser bonito. Sí, hombre. ¿Qué tú piensas que tu pueblo puede ser bonito? ¿Y ocurre? Este viernes uno de diciembre e 1 millones sorteó un superbote especial de? Sí, hombre. ¿Qué tú piensas que tu pueblo puede ser bonito? ¿Y ocurre? Este viernes, uno de diciembre, Euro millones sorté un superbote especial de 200 millones de euros. Euro millones. No hay nada más grande.

Lo querías de recuerda que juegas con responsabilidad y solos y desmayordedad.