Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - My Friends Bailey Jay and Matt

Episode Date: October 20, 2016

My Friends Bailey Jay and Matt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, dude? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Valcán!

¡A la más grande podcast de la plana de Berth! ¡Es una cuchara de fiesta! ¡A más grande podcast! ¡No hay rules! ¿Qué es mi gas? To the funniest podcast on the planet Earth To the Mike asshole, I'm sure I've already said should I regret I get a microphone That was trying to keep it like a comic can It's just us sitting down And sometimes it's hilarious sometimes No directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin.

That's how in a host does you love a part of it? I wanted to do you think my podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is Robert Kelly. This is a special edition of the, you know what did podcast live from Tampa in a secret location in the suburbs of this fine fine place, this little fine state of Florida, on the Gulf Coast, Hurricane free, but sure, sure not a fliction shirt free part of Florida. The cigar capital of the country, and we are here at my friends, my dear friends, Matt Trehean and Bailey Jay.

We're here with my little approach, Jay. I don't know what that was. That's my cat. That's my cat. No, it's not your pussy. I'm fair. Fair. It's, my little approach, a Stavros alchios

at Stavvy Baby. At Stavvy Baby. Stavvy Baby. Stavvy Baby. Stavvy Baby, sorry, on Instagram. We're here. I'm very excited, man. We came down, we're doing this tour, the true story tour, me and Stav.

And we are last stop on this portion. We've been on the road for a while, almost two months now. I think two months. We were doing clubs for the first month, I'd say. And then last week or two weeks ago, we started with the cool part of this tour where we go, place to place to place a different spot every night, a rock venue, a theater, a comedy club. We went to Pittsburgh, we went to Erie, we went to Cleveland, we went to Chicago, Indianapolis,

Tallahassee, Gainesville, and here we are in Tampa doing the last of this run. And it's been amazing. Oh yeah. Okay, so I've never, every show has been great on this tour. And it's been different venues, different crowds, but fans is the key. We've been killing it. So I'm very excited that we did this. And I'm glad that we stopped.

One of my favorite clubs, Side Supporters. In Tampa. And we're here. So the reason I'm burping, we did Korean barbecue. Yes. And the problem with it is that I didn't need we should a breakfast Sure, we need that we're starving too fatty starving. It's bad and Korean barbecue is our favorite absolutely my favorite food in the world Absolutely mine too. I mean, it's just the best of everything and it tricks fat people because it's vegetables

Vegetables honestly well Kim G And it tricks fat people because it's vegetables. I didn't see many vegetables, honestly. Well, Kim G. I called it super food. So when I have a super food, it means I can eat all the other fried drinks. I saw some onions. There weren't any onions that happened. I need to go on issue, essentially. And you guys have a very successful show on Riot Cast.

We're very proud of your show. We love your show. Thank you. And then, you know, we've known each other for how long? Five years? Yeah. Has it been, that's it? Yeah, only five years.

That's it. Well, as soon as we came, did I speak to you when I was in Vegas first or do you know, is it in New York, right? It was right when we got married and our universities in the 22nd will be five years. Yeah. Well, thatnd will be five years. Yeah. Well, that's

Yeah, five or six years. Well, I saw a video, you know, of course, Norton and you know, I'm sure we we we talk about stuff like that and then, you know, I saw you one day on YouTube actually. You're talking to Matt, right? You're talking to me. I saw you on Bailey and I just found out today what that video was. It was just this little video of you. There's a cute little T-girl.

T-girl. Trans-girl. Trans. It's like- I'm not offended in my pulse. Continue. It's like, huh. Well, were you like back then you were what?

2019? Yeah, just turned 20. Just turned 20. There's little cute girl pig tails Japanese anime no titties no titties You just use cold a trap back that's it a trap me a trap. Yeah, that's what the can you explain that I think it was just that you know She's playing that for the guys who pretend they don't know It's just that they should I guess to trap you to being gay or something which isn't kosher to say anymore

But at the time, it was a cute alternative to like, she-mail. And it's like, okay, trap is cuter. Yeah, the part was... She-mail has a maturity to it that I wasn't prepared for. Yeah, there's a lot of terms, like, you just said, lady boy.

Lady boy. In porn, there's too many terms, and most trans roles are like, no, like, don't call me any of those. Well, now, okay, let's go through these terms. Yeah. Because it is confusing, and we're like, no, like I don't call me any of those. Well, no, okay, let's go through these trends. Yeah. Because it is confusing. And it's like, look, there was a time you black people,

you collared, my grandfather, I don't know about this line. Seriously, my grandfather, the neighbor's one day when he was like, the collared people next door, he has no idea because when he grew up, that was, so I was like, Papa, you can't, it was African Americans. Yeah. No, that was like, so I was like, Puppa, you can't, it was African Americans. Yeah. No, it was black.

Right. It was black. You could say the black people next door, but that became, you don't say that. You say African Americans. Well, and now I've known a lot of African Americans who would prefer that I say black. Yeah.

Personally, they're just, you know, so I think it, just like with transit, it is kind of like you want to add kind of, you have to cut some people, some slack though, because if you want to be called so I think it, and just like with transit, it is kind of like you want to add kind of, you have to cut some people some slack though, because if you want to be called something and change it, and you change it without like this mass, like, you know, maybe a commercial on during modern family, yeah, modern family's last step.

So. Well, I mean, in trans people just now kind of have that platform for the first time. So I think people are kind of learning. I'm not a big word police, sir. I kind of think people you give words power. I personally think that because I've been called a tranny and anger and I've been called a tranny in like a high five tone.

So it's kind of like either way, it's totally fine. I'm not personally offended, but like I do porn. And so I kind of look at Gmail in words like that is porn terms. Like, oh yeah, Gmail is like a porn term. I wouldn't, if I died, I don't want my obituary to say, local Gmail, like I would be like, no, if I was doing a back page ad on the other hand,

call me a Gmail, you know, you don't want to say, like, what a courageous Gmail hero. Like, Caitlin Jenner, the first she- You know, it's not, it doesn't have a nice, so I say, transsexual, just because it still sounds a little horny, but also is politically correct. What about, what about, huh? What about, so T-girls, no good?

T-girl is just like, if you were to meet a girl and call her a T-girl, she would be like, oh, I know what sect of the internet you're on. Like, you're not, you don't actually engage with trans people like you. Well, it's like a, it's like saying, slide, kind of. Really? of the internet you're on like you're not you don't actually engage with trans people like you well It's like a it's like it's like saying slide kind of really what's like a porn term. It's like a porn So let's get this down porn porn terms are a T girl shimale. Uh-huh. What's another one?

I guess tranny, but that one's getting phased out Yeah, because it's giving to you does a slur by most people. What's another one? Oh, there's so no more. Check with dick. I think with much. Check with dick. I'm a fan personally. Are you like chicks with dick? I would not just it's hilarious If I said if I wrote a book, it would be chick with dick lit like instead of chick lit It would be like I but yeah, what's grosser is the terms for the genitals that guys come up with on these fucking forums for Transexual porn like what, pussy stick for a penis. It's just like, look, this is about you, not me. I can tell that right now.

This is about your comfort. Pussy stick. It's like not even a little bit. So I say cock. I gotta like pussy stick. No, it's not like a great punk band. It's getting me given up for pussy stick. It does sound metal as fuck, that sounds cool, shit.

Me and Keith used to make up weird names like shoulder tits. Yeah, shoulder tits. It's like underneath me pussy or whatever. You think it would say she-cock, which I thought just made me think of she-hulk. That's kind of good, I like that. You have to paint it green though if you want to. I, uh, shoulder pussy. Well, I saw this video and you would just pop it around New York.

Just sucking on a lulley pump with a backpack. Tons of all right. Right? Yeah. And that's why I googled you, I found your website, you had, you know, matured since that video. A little bit. The video was like, the video was okay.

And then I emailed from the website. I would like to get you on my podcast Right, okay, and that's when Matt emailed me back and Yeah, we were terrified You're terrified. I remember that you talked because we talked about this on my live show You can you terrified you're gonna be a bunch of schmucks. Yeah, we're screaming in the car right? You know down, but we were scared really? We were just like what are we gonna do

if these guys are a bunch of dick bags? Like what are we gonna do if this, you know? Like shock jocks? Yeah. Like a sponge guy or whatever. But I've even, you know, like, the guy who Hulk Hogan fucked his wife, right? I think something.

Love sponge, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I was told by people like, don't do certain shows because you know, you will be the butt of the joke the whole time. And I always thought I was kind of above that because it's like, oh, I'm funny and self-aware. So it's like, I never wanna be treated like the butt of the joke. You'd. And I always thought I was kind of above that because it's like, oh, I'm funny and self-aware. So it's like, I never wanna be treated

like the butt of the joke. Right. You'd never be. You would never let somebody do that because you're so cool. And you're not insecure and, you know, I was nervous too. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I mean, of course,

you guys become my wife's there. Right, right. Like my, what is my, hey, I have a chat trans to, girl coming with her husband, huh? What are you doing to our lives right now? Yeah. That's what I said to him yesterday in the radio. I hope, don't never look for a Sheridan hotel on my Google

page. A transit landing. A transit landing. What? What? So, so, so yeah, you came over. I remember the weirdest thing of the whole night was Matt when I went, hey, what do you want to drink? I'll get you whatever you want. And you, I would think he's like, you know, water or, you know, some iced tea or coffee or I was like, what, he said some

beer. Like vodka? No, he said, no, he said a beer. Like some fucking weird beer I had to go find. Like the second he's in there, Newcastle. No, it was Newcastle, it had to have been Newcastle. Oh, some, yeah, it was some brew. Yeah. Like I had to go like to a brew house. And I was like, honey, what do I get to,

because I'm sober and I was like, hey, do you have anchor light? Yeah, so I had to go get you fucking beer. I'm surprised, I don't drink beer, I guess. It was hipster beer. You were, you were in a beer phase, I'm surprised. I don't drink beer I guess it was hipster beer you were you were in a beer phase of Newcastle you had a phase yeah, I used to drink Newcastle there are but always with bourbon though I'm gonna say this you guys have a lot of phases yeah you guys go through phases well We we develop and grow as human beings is another way to word that well not because you go back and forth

Between phases. Yeah, okay. You know what I mean? And I don't think phase is a bad. I think phase is a great. I think when people start doing things, like you dig photography for a while, you did poetry for a while, and you're drawing now. You had a beer phase.

You know what I mean? But you guys also were searching for where you belonged because you were upstate. You came to the city. You went back upstate. That's true. Yeah, yeah. It is a lot of figuring it out because we have the luxury of doing it. I think most people, that's what they would naturally do.

They just don't. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to write fiction, but what happened was they started doing it and then I, some reason I got fell out of it and I tried to do the drawing, but that's hard. I can do copying, you know what the grid? But then when it comes down to drawing my own shit, I still draw like a third grader. So I realize there's a lot of work,

but writing is something I keep falling back into. So I get away from it and then I go back to it. Yeah, no, I think it's great. I started painting, I painted three years ago, I started painting again. That's cool. And my therapist was like, you should not paint again. That's pretty. And my therapist was like, you should know that you're not painting.

That's pretty good. And I was like, all right. That's the sound of Alan. That your therapist sounds like that. Right, so yeah, you need to do it. You wife's pussy. Go down on it. Stop being an asshole.

She didn't. Bobby, can I just tell you about my day and close my eyes because I haven't been to Alan for a couple of weeks now. Yes, but yeah. Yeah. He goes, hey. Bumps being real asshole. No. of weeks now. Yes, but yeah. Yeah. He goes, I ain't real asshole. No. No.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So next guy you go on the road with? Sounds like you're a little insecure about this because I just made a little joke and you went into this whole monologue about now. Yeah, man. What I'm gonna say to Alan. I am. I am. It's my first time.

I think way more money than you. And I want you tainting my possession with your convoluted fucking shit. I'll make up a different comic. I'm pretending to. No, he knows I'm with you. I'm talking about you. Don't get me.

Just let me go first. No, he knows I'm with you. I'm talking about you. Don't get me. Just let me go first. Okay, yeah, yeah. And surprisingly, I've had a great time on this trip. Like usually go on the road with comics, and comics are the most egotistical, we're just self-centered fucking ego assholes. But I've actually had a good time.

I mean, I'm a dickhead, I snap. I have a very short fuse, and I like things a certain fucking way, especially when it's my thing. If I'm on like a Louis thing or a Dennis thing, I just shut my mouth and you can't even hear me. I just do, I show up at my time, I do what I'm supposed to do and I fucking leave.

That makes sense. I don't hang around, you know what I mean? And if I was there, but like me and him are kind of on the road all the time together, all day and night. And we've never really done this. No. So it's hard because he does,

he does shit to fucking annoys the fuck out of me. And I do stuff that annoys the fuck out of him, but it's my toy so he cannot be annoyed at me. You understand? It doesn't matter to me. Sometimes I tell them, I don't care how you fail. I don't care. But it's pretty telling, you know what I think. No, it's not telling. It's just shut up. It's fucking over.

Just don't do what you're supposed to do and don't bug me. All right, go fucking do an open mic and Brooklyn on a Wednesday. I, uh, those are your options. But we had a great time. I've had a fucking blast with this kid so far. I mean, pretty much, except when he lost the car keys. Yeah, that was a big faux pas on my behalf and I apologize for that. I don't know how you...

I'm a fuck, you know what I'm saying? I am so... I know how to do the road. This fuck. He doesn't do this shit. First tour. He doesn't fucking do it. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

You gotta be on time. Everything's on a schedule. I got so many people who put this fucking thing together that everything has to kinda go. I have this. I have that. We have to go here. You know what I mean?

And he's just forgets the keys forgets the keys in the car. I hold it the guys two hours away. Okay. Two hours away, fucking gone. You know it worked out though, you know, let's, let's fix on the positive. Here's how the night starts. We go to Chicago, we do a great show.

We live this day every day. This is the whole tour. So I get to Allen and it comes out. I know if I fought Calta, this was over. You didn't fight him fully. I agreed to though. He's fucking left me on my birthday to get some push-puss. Oh, left one.

Oh, geez, Daily, why'd you have to gasp? I'm just guessing because girls have a gin as I forgot. I can't believe. Where was this? I went to get some pussy stick. This was a damn pussy stick, I wouldn't mind. Me neither. This was in Chicago.

I didn't even, the worst part is I didn't even hook up with that girl. She lived in a studio with three other people. And there was no way to like, go back there. Tinder. And then she was just at the show. She liked the show. She was into it. That'll happen. for some reason,

like I can kinda write, my acts is involved in just a pitch to try and get pussy, like that's at the end. I literally say, because that's what I always thought most of it actually was. Yeah, I'm being upfront about it. I'm just trying, I would like to find out. I actually don't.

No, not you. And not even back in the day. Back in the day, a fab soul. Okay, that's all. I would pick a girl out and just fucking do my whole act towards her. Lean on an ass cheek and then point at her. Here's a little, he goes in his act, so that's my pitch.

Yeah, but at the end of his act and they laugh, and I'm in the back room going, you fucks, no, that's real, like he's trying to get busy. Right, it's the end of my pussy eating chunk. It's going to be when I say it. My pussy eating and how good I am at cooking breakfast. So, so he, so now I'm alone with the guy who drove us, picks us up and drops us.

Aaron, who's a great guy, but I'm saying, you know, I don't want to have fucking dinner with him on my birthday. I'm at a expensive steakhouse by myself, eating a fucking $55 rib eye by myself. Is this fucking dude? You know, whatever he's doing. Fuck, he need a salad. He had some real bad allergies. And then I go back to the room by myself. He doesn't even get pussy, which bugs me. Then we wake up to go the next day and we're literally right on time.

I'm a stickler for time. I'm like, let's go. I go give me the keys. He goes, uh, I thought you had him. I go, what, you give me the keys. He goes, I don't, and then he pretended to look for them. Yeah. You know, I went through a hole.

I knew they weren't there, but I couldn't, I could not look at my luggage. He was just going to yell at me more. So I was like, I'm doing everything I can, Bob. Just trying. Just sitting on the ground, going, I don't know, she's holding his head. I was gonna call Avis and just rent another car,

lose all my money. Uh-huh. So where were the keys? I called the guy and I go, hey, can you please check your car? And he goes, all right, he's gonna pull, he goes, I'm on my way to another show. I'm like, going to another place to do a gig tonight. He pulls over, goes,

fucking motherfucker, they were there. They fell out of his fucking dumb pocket, or he left him in his hand and just left him on the sea. In the car, they got to drive an hour and a half back to give us the fucking, so we're sitting in a hot parking lot. He doesn't know that I went back inside to the restaurant and had breakfast.

Yeah, I was fine with that. He's not spending time together in that context. Okay, with me. But I think I handled myself well. You really did. I was shocked. I thought, well, because I'm not an asshole that you think I am. Well, no, in that specific, when it's real, you'll pick certain things to be, but like when it was like an actual problem, you handled it very well. I bust your balls on certain things to harden you up and then when it's a real thing, I'm not, I handle it correctly.

You did, yeah. Absolutely, I was shocked. So acknowledge that. I did, yeah, very, very, very, so know that when I'm picking on you, I'm just busting your balls. And lighting up your pus. Um, anyways, we, we, we, we, we, we, we,

we really, we really digressed. Um, and then with Mac out, do you just, you just quit. He's letting the cat out. Was that a story boring, Matt? Matt just got him and walked away. What if he just kept going? And he never came back. You blame me for the break up with your marriage? It'd be done.

He just walks out the front door. He never see him again. So you guys came out of my house that night. I remember that. And that was like the night. I mean, you met my wife. You met the Rosa. You met the Lauren.

That's right. I met everybody. I remember that. And that was like the night. I mean, you met my wife, you met D'Rosa, you met D'Rorgan. Yeah, that's right. I met everybody. Then you went on Norenda, Obyan Anthony. Yeah, yeah, which I was also scared of, which went really well also.

Why would you be scared? Just intimidated. Just I had a bad childhood. We've talked about high school was rough. What happened in high school? Well, high school actually wasn't too bad because I got mean. That's what I got mean.

That's when I'm just like, didn't your dad fucking kill himself? Don't call me a faggot. That's when I got like a really shitty. So then nobody wanted to say anything to me because I was horrible. And then I had to like wrangle that into my 20s. That's right.

I can't even imagine like, just know, like having to deal with not like having the body you wanted. Like I was awkward enough in college in my school. Sadly enough I had hips. I was a happy boy. I was a child with hips. I was like, dammit.

Like this, I better figure this out. So yeah, it, it was weird, but people were, people were for the most part nice to me after I got funny, I guess. Like, me. This usually happens. When I was, I used to get picked on and all that stuff and then I, I got funny and violent. I, I like both. Yeah, both options.

I can make you laugh or hit you in the head with a stick. I'm afraid. Uh-huh. I opted for funny. That is violent. I know you fucking. I'm kidding. Matt, what you going? I had to let the dog out. Oh, you have a dog? No, the cat. Well, we're talking about, here's the question I get all the time is that you guys, I go

home, go over my friend, you know, Matt and Bailey's house. And I'll Bailey JB. Yeah, yeah, who's Matt? That's your husband. Her husband. I'm like, yeah, he's my friend, you know, Matt and Bailey's house. And I'll Bailey, Jay, but yeah, yeah, who's Matt? That's her husband, her husband. I'll be like, yeah, her is my friend. Like I talked to Matt more than I talked to you. You talked to Matt so much. I don't know, Bailey, you know I love you and I love to talk to you and we, when we do talk, it's fun.

Yeah. But I don't know, like me and Matt, I just call them, but I always assume that I talk to you through Matt too, even though it doesn't happen all the time. That makes sense. I always assume like I talk to you through Matt too, even though it doesn't happen all the time. That makes sense. I always assume that's the house phone. I'm right now that Matt's more responsible and answers the phone, like I'm kind of a flighty, like I'm different.

I take it as a passability thing. I'm like, oh, I must be a girl because Matt's calling the boy or because Bobby's calling the guy. Right, well, it's another thing too. I mean, we're both friends, but me and Matt, when we talk, we could talk for an hour. That makes sense. Sometimes you talk for two hours. Yeah, well, I mean, we're both friends, but me and Matt, when we talk, we could talk for an hour. That makes sense.

Sometimes you talk for two hours. Yeah, well, I mean, we'll just app about fucking everything. And sometimes it's like a couple of minutes, whatever. But yeah, I don't call you that much, but what I do talk to you once in a while, but you're never around too, where I was like, you know, where's Bailey? I don't know, she's somewhere.

Right, well, yeah, yeah, you're at the house doing something. Usually, I've always got something stupid going on. Now I'm doing volunteer work, so that's gonna be awful. For what? Hospice. Like, what are you doing? Like, I'm gonna do basically companionship for like old like, like cooking and cleaning and houses for people who are on, like, we're dying.

Oh, geez. But then also, I'm after, if I'm comfortable enough around that after a couple months, I'm gonna do transition companion, which is nothing new with being a transsexual. I'll be. Yeah, I thought it was, I'm gonna do transition companion, which is nothing to be a transsexual. I'll be there. Yeah, I thought it was, yeah. Yeah, transition companion, we're basically,

when someone begins the dying process, they call me, and they're not my patient, but I run, and I'm with them when they begin the dying process. That could be kind of, but I'm taking it slow, because I don't know how comfortable I am. Was watching somebody die? Well, yeah, my mom died last summer, or the summer.

And so I and I. Did you were you there? Yeah, not when she actually died when she was beginning the dying process. I was there. And I was okay. Like I was I was all right. And that was my mom. So I'm kind of thinking I might be comfortable with it. We'll see. Though I don't want to talk a big game. And then why are you doing this?

To shift my focus off myself because I'm very self-absorbed in a, and not, like, I beat myself up, but like, it's still being self-absorbed. Right, right. You know what I mean? Like, it's still self-suffering. Not like, I think I'm great, but like, it's definitely not humility.

It's like, still like, all on a shit head. Yeah, you're, if it's all on you. Yeah, and it just, you don't need to do that. No. If you focus off of that, off of yourself, you could actually help somebody, which would actually help you. And that's the other thing.

Also, past transgressions and things you beat yourself up for and people you've been in your life. Yeah. Kind of aren't as relevant when you're like, okay, well, now I'm present and available to other people, which is kind of like a redeeming factor. Like, I know, because that's my therapist teaching me, just alcoholics anonymous same thing.

Be present and be useful to like, rather than being like, all of a shit out, six years ago I was a fuck. Like, just be present for other people's benefit. Right. So that's what I'm trying to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now with these older people, you're feeding them or you're cleaning the butts.

I'm actually not allowed to feed them unless I take a course in that specifically because it's liability. Like cooking and cleaning and mostly companionship, like looking at pictures with them talking to them how long A couple of hours roughly an hour a couple hours. Yeah, and that's about I much I can do it my I was raised by my grandma, so I'm actually kind of comfortable with it I'm I'm most likely not going to be telling these people I'm transactional

Just because I don't feel like having that conversation like by the way you're about to die the world's really scary This Your sons with me You probably give them another year of life. Yeah, no like there's a whole beautiful world here You have another reason to live. You're just, when they be with you, they go, I'm an angel and then pull your dress up. Angels actually word both genders.

That's very interesting. That's interesting. That's interesting. I was reading about that recently. We've joked that transgender girls give, like Charlie Sheen types an extra year of life. Right before they hang themselves in a closet because they spend a year.

Yeah, about to jack up with them. They max themselves out on pussy and then before they hang themselves in a closet because they spend their... Yeah, about to jack up with them. They max themselves out on pussy and then before they hang themselves they go to trans girls. They're like, oh wait, I can do this for a minute before I fucking croak in a closet. You think he's going to die soon? Oh no, I hope not. He seems relatively healthy.

I mean, he's living with HIV, I think, no. Yeah, it's crazy. He's had it for a while. But people, and that's different now, people can, it's almost say it's like having diabetes. It's, you know, it's crazy. He's had it for a while. But people in that speed is different now. People can, it's they almost say it's like having diabetes. It's, you know, it's manageable potentially. Well, he, he actually, I think it explains all his craziness, too, right? Didn't he find out he had HIV right before he started just going fucking ballistic? And he probably wasn't coping with it.

I mean, he probably, it gives you the, it gives you the, uh, that mechanism to say, fuck it. Yeah, that's interesting. And he was probably, I guess, addicts tend to not want to engage with scary shit. There's a lot of avoidance behavior. And that's, I don't know in person, so I have no idea if that's what happened.

Yeah, it's not. It was in tiger blood. It was AIDS blood. That is what tiger blood is. What? It doesn't matter. It's my wife. Hang on one second, everybody. We'll put her on your doing a podcast over a

Matt and Bailey's house right now you're on the podcast. Oh, hi everybody. Hi, don't Hi, I'm Is that Max Max Hi, buddy. Guess who's coming home tomorrow, Max. Oh, buddy. Guess who's coming home tomorrow, Max? Oh, Jason.

Me daddy's coming home tomorrow. Tell him what's on your face. Wow, I got we went to the the festival thing. Oh, wow. We have fun. the festival thing. Gookie test. Oh wow. And then the teens of the safe. We have fun.

Let's check it in. House on. All right. I'll talk to you later. I love you. I love you too. I love you, Max. I love you, Max.

I love you. I love you. See you tomorrow, Baba. See you tomorrow. Yeah, that's right. And you know what? We're going to the toy store tomorrow. And we're picking out a toy present for you from Daddy, okay?

Oh, we hung up. All right. I called from the touch of Purdue, produced his show. You know, it was one of the other, that was a good one. In a morrow, like Jesus Christ. I like the, just buying the affection, but technique, just get a big ass present so as you come back.

No, I always get in my present. Every time I go on the road, I bring them something because it's hard from. Yeah, I can imagine. I like that you have a fucking, have to say dick shit. I can't just fucking love my kid. Like, I wasn't loved, you fucking fat cunt. I got a bit trying to make me feel guilty for fucking having it's like in some fake affection.

I haven't seen him in three weeks because of you, you fucking fuck. I'm a little more you, but hold on him. Um, so anyways, um, that's interesting to me that you're doing that because that's so taxing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, to give, that's the one me that you're doing that because that's so taxing. Yeah, yeah. I mean to give, that's the one thing I don't give. I don't do that. I don't give. Well, she's also like a natural healer in a sense.

I think I have maternal vibes about stuff because when I, when people are like, oh, that's gonna be really hard on you, I was kind of like, oh, I didn't think about that. Like I was just kind of like, I just, these people might die, but I'm also not trying to be holier than now about it, because I might go there and it might be way over my head and it might be really uncomfortable and I might not be able to do it. So I really don't want to set myself up

and beat myself up if I can. But that's why I'm just doing the companionship thing at first, which is cooking and cleaning. I think it's great. I think that I wish, you know, it almost strikes something in me to do. I don't, I try to help like young comics or whatever like, you know, bring guys in the room.

Yeah, yeah. And have, you know, make them some money or expose them to people I guess that would be the only thing that I help people outside of my family with. But I think it's good when you help somebody. I think it's, you know, cause to feel, when it feels bad, is when it's good.

It shouldn't, when you help somebody, it shouldn't be easy. It's kind of bittersweet. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I think you help a lot of people by being public. I think I help a lot of people by being public just by kind of being an aspirin for the, you know, for the pains of the world. It's kind of like a really nice thing. Yeah.

But there's no, it, and this sounds selfish, but there's no payback because you're not maybe engaged with it. You're not getting that one-on-one like you would if maybe you were in a soup kitchen or maybe you were. no es una cosa muy buena, pero no es una cosa muy buena, pero no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena,

porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa muy buena, porque no es una cosa que no es una cosa que estoy haciendo. a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Par? Because this is a guy, when I tell my, I'm like, look, I'm friends with Bailey's husband, was he gay? I don't know, dude. I know that he loves his wife. I don't know what am I supposed to go do to you? Well, I don't, he's my friend. He's like my mother friend's husband.

And we talk about fucking shit. I would talk about with any husband, friend of mine. You know what I mean? So it's like the fact that you do have this fucking crazy, quote unquote, normal life as a dude, right? You're a normal fucking dude. You're like normal shit. You're not, I never saw you fucking have a ball in your mouth.

I've never seen you, you know. I mean, not that that's bad. You might do that, but it's not like I, we've, our conversations are very fucking normal. Yeah. It's never about, you know, we, I'm of course, we talk crazy shit here and there, but it's just like one of my friends and Bailey's one of my friends. You have this great normal life. And you don't have to be, you don't have to be this fucking, we have to live in New York or live in the middle of somewhere and hide away and not let people know.

And you know, and fucking be fucked up. It's, you guys have this great marriage. You're normal, you live in a beautiful house in a nice community, you do normal shit, your life is fucking just as normal. Is any other fucking married couple I know, right? Yeah, I think so. I mean, yeah, I mean we have the suburb and the coldest sack and the mortgage and all that stuff. I mean, it was also sex dolls in the bathtub and we're

sure we're poor and we're non-monogamous. Yeah, like we've got a, but we're funky. Right. And it's, I hate to say I'm not gay because it sounds like I care. Like, you know, that's bad, but it's true though. It's like, I am the straightest, one of the straightest people I've ever known. And it's something some people don't get because I'm sucking dick sometimes. But that's really, the thing is though, I always say the second a gay guy will fuck me,

I'll let all of you know, because I've tried for years. I have friends that are absolutely fucking gorgeous gay underwear models. They've been drunk and I've been like, it's cool, I'll cover my face. Just keep your distance up, my dick. They're like, it's cool, I'll cover my face. Just, you're gonna dissapoint my dick. They're like, no, they think I'm repulsive. Like they're just like,

I'm not the fucking suck in your girl dick. That's disgusting. And so, yeah, as soon as one of them fucks me, I get them drunk and I'm defuc- me, I like you. Is that what you, I just wanna tell me that John Waters said, gay guys are like spaghetti. What's she told me and I told you?

Oh, you told me, yeah, yeah, that was the greatest thing ever. He was a bunch of, he was also talking about feminine tops. Yeah. And he was like, I call them blouse. Yeah, that's the best. Because they're feminine tops. Yeah, it's just.

Yeah, guys are, straight guys are, are we? Straight guys like spaghetti. Right. They're straight. Straight until you get a warmed up. To get a warmed up. Yeah. Yeah.

Because then me and Bobby were talking about that. When you're jerking off and you think I'm going to come in my mouth. Then right as you're coming, I'm not, that's horrible. talking about that. When you're jerking off and you think, I'm going to come in my mouth. But you never think, I'm not that horrible. I did. I just didn't know that. I'm not going to. That's why it's good when I'm around. Because I can get come in your mouth

while your head's dead. Yes. Exactly. That's perfect. That actually works. But now that's the thing, too, is like, even with like dawn, like, I don't know. Dawn's old school, you know what I mean? Like I don't think I have any options.

Like there's no, I can't be like, you know, you wanna swing or you wanna, because I don't wanna see some dude fucking dawn. I really don't wanna see her enjoying her life. I just don't, you know what I mean? I don't know if my self-esteem, well I don't wanna see it either. When we shoot for work I don't, you know what I mean? I don't know if my self-esteem... Well, I don't want to see it either. When we shoot for work, I don't care.

But if she doesn't have private life, I don't care. But how do you disconnect that? How do you, I am? Well, you also know I'm not into it when we're working. Yeah. Not to ruin the illusion, but if I'm with a guy and my husband's in the room with the camera and... I think it's because of the bond that we have.

It's so insanely strong, because I, insanely strong because I met her at what 36? You were 36, yeah. So I've been with a bunch of people and she was the one, she was the one that's why I married her. Right. So I don't worry about her like leaving or anything and we read books and we've just really, we think like blocking each other's sexuality is weird. Yeah. And I'd rather her just do it than want to do it. It's more of a threat. just really, we think blocking each other's sexuality is weird.

And I'd rather her just do it than wanna do it. It's more of a threat. We got to the point where it's more of a threat. She's like, I really wish I could suck another dick. I'm like, no, just like why? Because, yeah. What, is it am I ugly? Like, what does it mean?

Right, right. It feels like jealousy stuff. And yeah, plus then I have my freedom, so that's good too. But, no, no, no, no, but like, freedom, so that's good too. But that doesn't just ruin it. But no, no, no, but like, okay, so you have your freedom, so if you meet somebody, you can go fuck them. Mm-hmm. Now another trans girl or a woman?

Either one. Anything. Yeah, but I mean, but you only tend to be with cis, you tend to grow girls of vaginas. Yeah. So you miss a vagina now and then? I guess. I mean, it's not about about I don't know that it's about missing It's just about wanting if I had a pussy he stole another pussy Yeah, my last girlfriend we wouldn't have three sums all the time right because it was you get I got bored of her

You got her with a pussy. Yeah, so fucking weird. I don't understand sex is so it's just I always say smelling a new But they're having a good when Howard used to say the first time a girl puts her hand down your pants There's like nothing like that. There is nothing like that, but here's the thing. What is it with marriage and like when I'm in where you can't do that, I can't go smelling on the butt. I can't go. You know what I mean? Well there's a misconception to most married people I think that if you smell another but

don't think that means somehow she's lesser. Right. But that's not the case. It's just you're an animal. Right. But you have to try to explain that to somebody. And there's a lot of brainwashing that goes behind it. I think the girl doesn't trust the other girl more than anything.

I think the girl knows how girls work. Yeah, right. So they're just like, yeah, no, you think you're getting this awesome blowjob, but she's putting her fucking furniture in my living room. Right. In her head. You know what I mean? So girls are like, yeah, I know you think that's why she's there,

but it's not. I promise. I know. So yeah. I think it's one of the best ways to keep a marriage going because then I realized it's actually not what I thought it was and I rarely do anything. Yeah. Because it's not really as great as it is. It's never, you know, I know these guys friends of mine who do with swingers and, you know, and it always ends bad. But if you're always ends. Yeah. But if you're forcing But if you're forcing someone never to do something, then they want it so bad. So he's like, I gotta go ahead and do it. If my cut wife, if I caught my dawn fucking around on me

with somebody, I don't know if I'd lever. I don't know, I'd be mad. We're not allowed to date other people. We have rules. I can't go to the movies. I mean, maybe a movie's fine, but we kind of had puppy love with other people and it just got messy. So we were like, I don't really, we would. I mean, maybe a movie's fine, but we kind of had puppy love with other people and it just got messy.

So we were like, I don't really, we would need to just be friends. Yeah, but the other person starts getting, the girls started getting more and more. Right, I won every weekend, I won a weekend and Wednesdays. And the guy really did that too. Yeah, and like, the anniversary is like,

what was that here up in New York? Well, girl was here and the guy was in New York. So the guy in New York that you kind of with a little bit and he was trying to get you to be, he was following, he was following for you. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of a mutual puppy love situation. Right. And how did you know to cut it off?

I moved. Just said, fuck it, moved. Well, we moved, we're moving anyway. Does he still talk to you? You were talking sometimes, but it really wasn't something I wanted to pursue. It wasn't. You still fool around with him? No, no.

I haven't seen this person since I left a year ago really Yep, and what about you with the other girls? Did you kind of yeah? I just texted her like we can't do it What she say she's like was actually like her grandmother had just died So she was just like what the fuck and like that's when I actually knew she got really pissed off even though she was claiming It was very light. There was there wasn't anything serious on me But I knew it was yeah people don't want to admit that. Right. Right. So she got mad. Yeah, because you're not paying a girl.

She wants something. Right. You know more than just dick. I don't have the biggest dick in the world. They wouldn't care about that either. Good one. Thank you. Weird on your body.

Looks like a Puerto Rican dick. Right. Nice dick. I was thinking about like bleaching it or something. I like a brown dick. I just wish it was all brown or all pink. Yeah, you have a pink brown dick. What's it gonna be a pal? Bailey loves it. So I'm good. Yeah, I'm down now who has a bigger dick. No, I'm kidding Matt's Matt's bigger minus batter. She's got like two of my dicks wide. I have a fat. I have a fat

We talked about you like a guy inside. Yeah, it got bigger. You could put like an apple watch on it at this point, it's serious. The bigger apple watch. How do you not have the apple watch? Or you do? I didn't get the, I love the segue. We can go back, but I really want to. I, to get a great segue.

I don't have the apple watch because the technology was not there. All right, it was not waterproof. But weren't you pushed? weren't you going to get it? Nope. No, you weren't. No, it was not. I was never going to get the apple watch. I got the original phone watch. It was called I'm watch. It was an Italian company. They were the first company. It looks very similar to the apple watch. But they came out with it two, three years before.

And I had that. It was a beautiful watch. They sent it to me for nothing to review it. And it had apps on it. It had all this stuff. You could actually talk on it through Bluetooth, but it did, they, fuck, man. It was made more Android, you know what I mean?

Oh, it wasn't like, they're friendly. Yeah, you needed a hotspot. It was weird. They just didn't have the technology there and I don't think the company exists anymore. Apple probably bought them out or whatever, but when that came out, I knew what these watches the potential was for the watch,

and I was like, it's just not there yet. Samsung actually has a watch that's a phone. So you can leave your phone home. What? It has a SIM card. Yeah, that's the thing that got me. You have to charge the watch every night and bring your phone to. So it's like, what's the fucking point?

Yeah, it's like, other than to do that when you're driving, I don't know. I think it's good for people who have that regimen. They go home, they put their phone on the charger, they put their watch on a charger, and then you go to work and that was a thing. If I didn't need my phone in the last of the week, I'd be more on a charger, and then you go to work and you know, that was a thing. If I didn't need my phone in the last of the week, I'd be more interested.

Yeah, if the water proof. The waterproof is great that they did that finally. Oh, that is. The battery, when they have wireless charging in your house. Like true wireless. Yeah, like when you walk in and your stuff just starts charging. How?

Is that a thing? It's already available. Does it make sense to me? Well, it doesn't make sense. It's, it's, it's, it was actually, you know, invented it first. Tesla. I was gonna say, it sounds like cancer

when it happened. It's like, really? Well, it's just like Wi-Fi. Yeah, well, even Wi-Fi scares the shit out of it. But your wireless power is the thing that I'm waiting for. I've got all these fucking cords, you know? Yeah, I don't know if it's gonna be able to do,

I mean, but a watch or a phone, they'll, they'll build the technology into the phone and the watch, and then it will be like a thing you put and you'll pay for it. They'll, you'll be charged for it. Someone will charge you for wireless charging. Some of them will be quicker or fat, whatever the fuck it is, but you'll be just walking

in your house and you're stuffed charges. Walk into a Starbucks and you're stuffed, stuff starts charging. That's cool. Yeah, it's cool. I mean, you'll pay for it just like Wi-Fi, but that's what I'm waiting for. So then you don't's cool. I mean, you'll pay for it. Just like Wi-Fi, but that's what I'm waiting for. So then you don't have to, I mean, look, they're making battery smaller, they're making everything smaller. Once they can charge your things

wirelessly, can everything become wireless? That's where everything is. Everything is going wireless. How do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you beam power? I don't understand. Without wires. I don't know that I have no idea the the technology but that's actually that's definitely come actually now you can there it's not you can't buy it now but it exists right now. Well that makes sense. Yeah they just have to figure out how to commercialize it. Yeah because I hate my cords so I want to get rid of all my cords. Yeah I hate them too. That's why like I love that every bitching about Apple losing the headphone jack guys. What gave you an adapter? Yeah but it's still you don't need the fucking headphone jack. Guys. What do you mean an adapter? Yeah, but it's still, you don't need the fucking headphone jack. I mean, you're on planes and, you know,

you go to Delta now, everything is on your phone or your iPad or your computer. Yeah. Just go to the app, you go to it, you wanna watch a movie? Everybody can watch a movie. Whatever the fuck they want, and it's on your little personal thing.

You don't have to have that shitty TV screen, swipe your credit card for eight bucks, fuck off. You know, it's wireless too, it's your personal stuff. And I love that the headphone jack's gone, cause now all headphones will be wireless. Wires are, look at this, I can't move my hand. I was looking at that as you were. I can't, you know what I mean?

It's like, you're on a leash. There's no need for that, and now I can can't, you know what I mean? You're on a leash. There's no need for that. And now I can't hear. But no, I'm good. Yeah, there's going to be no wires in the next 20 years. There'll be nothing, nothing. But I understand if the headphones are charged, and then you're beaming the audio to it.

But I don't understand. It's the same thing. I don't understand being in the power. Yeah, you'll have a, you'll have a device into the plug and that thing will shoot the energy through the air into the device and it will pick it up. Yeah, I mean, I wish, I don't,

I don't wanna stall the show by Googling it. But I, yeah, I think, I'm pretty sure, was it a little girl who came up with them? Might have been like a teen, it's some genius. I have no idea. Came up with it. Yeah, I can't wait. I'm actually getting a cookie. Can you please take this away from me, Stavvy, baby? Yes. I guess I have to eat these.

Yeah, but that iPhone wants you stupid. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't right now. But it will when you answer, when you answer a phone in it When it has video on it, which will come right when your your phone will be awareable Yeah, you will not carry a phone in the future. That makes sense. I think they're gonna put it in your head Your phone man. I won't be in your head. You won't do surgery You can't you can never do surgery. You don't think ever, even if it has better context. You know what I'm talking about, do you know how fucking expensive the insurance would be to put a fucking device in your head?

I mean, yeah. You'd have to sign your life away. And people look at a die. Yeah, and look at, look what happened to Sam some seven, they're exploding. Yeah, that's his head's on fire on a fucking American airline flight. And it didn't get on a plane anymore

if you have that phone. I know, you can't. That's crazy. Yeah, those are the fuckers that complained about Apple phones, iPhones bending. I called the Google Glass. Oh, yeah, you're right. The fucking Samsung fanboy.

So stupid. Well, but the Google Glass, I called Google Glass. Like I called that was going to be, there's like no one's putting that shit on their face. No one's putting that shit on their face. No, no way. It won't go on your face, it will go on your wrist. That makes sense.

I'd fuck with that. They actually have, or if they can incorporate it into my current glasses, or contacts maybe, they can be. But not everybody wears, oh yeah, I guess. Context could be the same. Or sunglasses, they have contacts right now. They actually have contacts that are just like,

like if those were what you're wearing now, where Google Glass, but I couldn't tell, that makes sense. Right, right, right, right. right when you can tell what it is I'd be like I don't want you don't look at me right right right think about it think about it You know you know those wrist bands you kind of snap on your lips. Oh, I love those Okay, I was a little gay kid But now you can snap that straight correct. Mm-hmm. All right now think of one of those the size of an iPhone

Plasty you just snap on your wrist like an LED situation. Well, they have it right now They actually have a flexible experience. So you snap it on your wrist in the morning. So you could bend it and make it into like a clock. Okay, and it goes off. There's a video of it on the internet, actually. It goes off, then you take, the person picks it up, snaps it straight, checks the email, does this, does that,

replies right on it, and they snap it on their wrist. Yeah. And then they go on the shower. The music's playing over their Bluetooth speaker, because there's no wires again. Everything's hooked up through a wireless and your shower and a blah, blah, blah. The phone rings, they answer the phone and the shower on their wrist. They actually push a button that's a projector and it a pico projector shoots it on the wall.

If you want, you can actually see stuff like a little tiny projector on the wall. That'd be cool as hell, I'd be done for that. And then you go outside and you're doing everything right on your wrist. And the map and it's telling you to walk and you got your piece in that's wireless and it's talking to you like a personal assistant.

It's all gonna be these little things you put in your ear on your wrist, wearables, wireless speakers, wireless, everything everywhere. And you'll be able to just charge shit. Walk up to a, you know, pay phone, one of those right now. They turn them into wireless charges. You can charge your phone.

Oh, that's right. You can check the internet. Same shit. Same shit. That's cool. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. It's gonna be awesome though. I can't wait.

They have the fixed texting. What do you mean? It's horrible. Like predictive, like predict what it's like. Because anyway, when I try to text, I'm like, it takes me, I have to, if I wanted to come out without any mistakes, I have to go back and, you know, it keeps fucking up the same word over and over again. It makes texting embarrassing.

You're like, you keep bugging and kill the moment that you don't need that kind of thing. I think there's a lot of flaws with that. And even the speech to text, unless you're talking like, hi, I am going, you know, they made it better. It's still you know, it's cool, but I just saw I'm talking fly up that window. I just saw a Yeah, we were sitting in the fucking backyard listening I think like edge of 17 was playing like a like a Stevie Nick song and then I fucking dove and I was like, oh my god, it's Stevie. Like she's here. Like it fucking like dope over her head.

I just saw her hot. Yeah, I've seen like Pelicans fly by. It was a crazy shit I was saying. I'm sorry, what was that? Just texting. It's got to be better. Texting will get better when you know when, when the actual device is near your mouth.

Like these wireless headphones are to come out. When it's up there and it can pick up your voice better, you'll be able to text better. Look. Or, but if you want it to be quiet, I like text. You're being made. You say you're in a cafe and you're sexting and you don't want to say, you know, suck my dick in the cafe. How do you, how do you make that work? Well, that's a funny sketch. Just a guy in a cafe. Yeah, let's say you're not using speech to text, do you just want it? Because that whole thumb keyboard, the keyboard situation is terrible. I thought you're not using speech to text you just want it because the whole thumb keyboard the keyboard situation is terrible

I thought you're gonna I thought you were waiting for your hat. I thought I know I didn't want to step on it They're supposed to be that thing that was a moment where like projects a keyboard onto a table. They have it Did have you tried that yeah, doesn't work. Yeah, that's cool. The puck just flew by again. It's massive It's got an eight foot wingspan Yeah, we get like cranes that are like the size of people It might be that they walk by. Oh, really? Yeah, I'll show you.

I don't fuck with birds. I just took pictures of them. They fucking, there's like five feet tall. I hate that. That actually keyboards, a laser keyboard. Yeah, I see that. And they have Pico projectors, laser keyboards. So you could actually have everything inside

of your wearable device to shoot a keyboard on a phone. Shoot a keyboard on a table and project. It's like four five. Whatever you're watching on the wall and making a 16 inch screen. That's cool. Yeah. Here's the problem. You know they haven't figured out yet?

Battery. Oh really? Yeah, that's it. They have to have, they have to figure out and they do have this thing called graphene. Graph, graphene, it's graphite. It's from a pencil. Oh, OK. OK.

What they were placed led with. Well, what they did is someone discovered it by accident. The way it connects together, it holds energy, like 10 billion times more than a regular battery. And it conducts it better. It's just this insane, it's actually just this insane shit graphene that they're gonna use for batteries in the future that you'll be able to have this incredible thin, thin battery

that lasts forever. Oh, I've heard, is that the one that charges really fast too? Yeah, it's crazy. And it's really just a guy got a piece of tape on the top of the pencil. But you'll be able to charge your iPhone. And they went and put on our micr-shoot up to like, what the fuck is this? You know, the molecules connect in such a way. And they were like, we could fucking go. They get

literally, they get my into sound. He turns into the whole Her penis has weight We do we talk about that my heavy cock I Came you can't stop started by telling that story about you on the elevator What was the other you're watching the trailer to her slap in her pocket? Yeah, so this I've got to tell you that So you know, I always check your stuff up both of you, right? And I check your video out. And I'm on a fucking elevator. It was a jerk off the truck and all. And it's here's you and you're just like,

it's not your tits, it's not anything. It's like close up of you. It's just my dick, it's just you. This first shot is you looking into the camera. Okay. So it's not like, I don't know what it is. It doesn't look like it. Okay, okay.

And what you do is you pull back very slowly Whatever you do right and all of a sudden you pull back and I'm on an elevator and you're like What did you think it was gonna be No, no, my page I think it was the trailer. That was it. It was the trailer that I Wrote his page so I didn't know what I just just I know and all of a sudden you you just hear my dick so heavy and you can't like that fucking I plop it yeah on the hand as one does yeah but I don't it's an industry move standing maneuver I learned that my first one I was a cock swaps 101 that's a good title for the show. Yeah, Tranny was, Tranny's surprise 13. Alexa taught me that.

Yeah, so it's, I'm on the elevator. It's just, you're smacking your cock. Yeah, but people were on the elevator with me. So I'm trying to like, fuck it, literally bite the speaker off of it. Oh, yeah off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it.

I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it.

I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I'm not gonna bite the speaker off of it. I's not that good. It's okay Where have you seen his piece from his I've never seen it, but I just you know, I feel like you I've never seen you dick. No, no

Almost art when we did that video for you Stavvy baby account, right, right, but we covered it up I was I didn't want to see a character I think Bailey should be the judge if it's very good or not. I usually can look at noses and ears That's how you tell you probably tell by the way you're talking what you have is the porno problem You're comparing yourself to porn dicks. So it's all right. Yeah, yeah, I'm like, it knows this in years. That's how you tell. I can tell by the way you're talking what you have is the porno problem. You're comparing yourself to porn dicks. So it gets all right. Yeah, yeah.

But failure probably say it's fine. It's a fine, it's a serviceable dick. Okay. I tell you, he's been using it on this fucking tour. You haven't been there. But I'm telling you, I'm in my room one night and just here, I thought someone would be murdered in the next room.

It's just this little fucking trappy Greek. Just servicing this woman. Scream. That was a fun one. Was that the 60 year old? That was not unfortunately. Man, I didn't get her back to the story. No, no, I didn't.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Last night after Bobby left, I was just, I was just, just hanging out in the lobby, hoping some woman would just go back with me. I don't know. We would connect to a human being at some point instead of just like trying to find pizza at 2 a.m. But I'm just out there and I'm like, I just give up on the night so I go to get an Uber

and there's just an insane old woman who was heckling, she was a bad audience member. At worst. You're so terrible. I remember pointing out, I was first on the show and I was like, she wasn't a problem for me but just something about her, I could first on the show and I was like, she wasn't a problem for me, but just something about her. I could tell she might be a problem. And she was just outside soliciting cigarettes from strangers. So I'm waiting for my Uber and I just start strike up a conversation with her, just, you

know, kill time. And within 30 seconds, we're just making... Sit down. What are you doing over there? I'm like, all right. She's 60. Yeah, she's 64 64 probably I guess and So we're just making out and I'm grabbing it. I'm learning it. Yeah

Could you smell her breath or anything? Yeah, it smells very medical honestly. It smells like it's that's what after we made out I'm in the Uber and I'm just like Smacking my gums like what I my gums were numb. Well my tongue was I'm pretty sure she had like or a gel or whatever like Glue to keep dangerous It tasted like that your straighter that your straighter than me. Yeah, it was just funny She was around I was like this is part of me wanted to get her back I was like I'm not gonna try my whole night to hook up

with the 64-year-old one. But if in four minutes, I can convince her to come back to my hotel, then it's worth it. So how did you end up the Uber pulled up? You said I got the Uber pulled up. I was like, come on. What are you doing? I gave her one pitch. You know, she said, no. She was there with a friend. I don't she would have definitely come I bring the friend the friend was like 104 yeah, yeah, yeah, it was her mother The friend was not imagine if you killed her fucking her and then you had to deal with that for your toy. Oh, no Self-someday

Live feeds from his court case We're here of the true story tour. Stavros. Taking the stand. Just crying. I lost the key. Yeah, dude, I wish you took a picture. I know.

Oh, you want picture of me making out with an old woman would have been awesome. I kind of wish if I had known that was going to happen, I would have just hung out for like a half hours. But the Uber, it was like, do I wanna spend $4 canceled in this Uber? I should have in hindsight, for the story, but are you gonna use the condom?

I do have an issue where I don't typically use, I'm a raw dog, unfortunately. That's the raw dog. What is it? Anyway. It's also this. Yeah, I probably would have though. I don't know that would have been interesting. I've never hooked up with it a woman older than like

So how gross do you get you probably find condoms in it? First condom you strike me as like really like a lamp skin you start out without a condom and pull out with a condom You strike me as like really like a lamb skin you start out without a condom and pull out with a condom Yeah, that's all Stuck in your be all It's gonna tear in it Is there anything off limits to you? No, I'm pretty open. I don't know I Like if you're eating a girl's ass and there was some poop there. You just keep going boo interesting

I think the poo is my limit. Poo lemon. But other than that, I'm gonna give you a hungry. Yeah, what did you have for dinner? What if the kid you all, what if a girl was threw up on your dick and was like, it's cool, I wanna keep going. Yeah, no. Would you say no, we gotta clean that up? I think, did you have like a clear soup for lunch?

It was like a chunky, was it? No, it's a little chunky. I think it was. If it smells too throw, it'll be a mouth. It should super hot though I mean yeah, I did drink P like 18-year-old Croatian webcam model, but vomit. No, I'm in Yeah, yeah, yeah, worse things gonna happen. Absolutely. Yeah, would you drink P? I get beat on I haven't gotten beat on your pee on somebody. No, I've been peed on but I'm into it

I mean I would give it a whirl. Mm-hmm by Matt or somebody men's never peed on me We've never gotten around to but I've not even not a well you're legally you're not married then I've been You never gonna Florida You never got to fight fight me just pissed at him I When I was seven 18 IP'd in a girl shampoo who is a cunt She was a cunt from house. She was an awful person. She would hit herself with shit and say, our boyfriend was heat.

Oh, Jesus. Can I borrow a little person? You know how much I just, you're a sexy woman to me. I almost went, how did you pee in the bottle? But yeah, no, same. No, me too. I knew how to do it. And then I was like, oh, I didn't even need a funnel.

I just pissed directly in her shitty shampoo. She was a cunt from house awful person That's for you. I'm pee It's another good name. I'm funny Would you ever go with a transgender woman? Yeah, I think so I think the most because to me the repulsive part of man is just not the dick at all Everything else that is the guy the hairy the hair the hairy, the hairyness of the dude. Bailey made me realize, because there's an adult store in Tampa.

20 years. There is, yeah. I'm kidding. It's on the flag. It's on the booths that you know, at the porn. Yeah. And the first two are just regular private rooms. And then if you go three or four down,

they have glory holes in them. Oh, right. It's older about it. And I'm like, it's weird, because I don't think like gay guys would go there. She's like, it's not for gay guys. I'm like, what? That's why it's only the dick.

Cause straight guys like dick, but they don't like the man for it. Gay guys, interesting. Well, think about it. If you're a dude and you wanna eat some pussy, you wanna see who's pussy, you're eating some context for the pussy. And I think gay guys want some context for the dick

cause they like guys, but a guy who just wants the aesthetic of a dick, but they're not attracted to men, they're gonna go to this isolation tape. We were like just a dick in the floating universe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I see my stepfather disappointed looking at me. I know you're a fat. See, I don't think I go glurgo, but I would go, I would go trans. Yeah. Yeah. So if right now Bailey was like, let's go. Well, that's weird because I feel like we're friends.

Yeah. We've got the worst part about you. I know, I'm a human to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry society did that to you. Yeah, we've just been objectifying hot women on the whole lives. Can you stop being a person, please? Have you ever... I just wish I wish you were at the hottest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, never the third. Yeah, yeah, yeah It's not gonna happen fantasy you know your friend. Yeah, it was the number one Have you ever heard fucked a girl with another guy. Yes, it's on that many a time with Dane Yes How about we go? More so with Al Dau Beni. Al Dau Beni is me, Dane, and Al were in a comedy group together. And me and Al really, Dan was very a girlfriendy type of thing at the beginning. He'd get a girl and just stay with her. And they were never in that, really that hot, you know. They were kind of cool.

He just had a good emotional relationship with them. No. He didn't. He was just like there with... He's fucking be such a fucking twat for. Did you? What? They had a great time together and that's bad?

No. What is it? He just, I'm telling you, I'm trying to fucking out of you. Before you fucking alternatively turn into a conti fucking... Conti? He just liked, he didn't like, now he just goes with smoke and hot chicks. Like 12s. Back then he would go with regular girls that weren't just regular chicks. Like I remember his first girlfriend was like in the play with him or something, so it was

kind of chubby. She wasn't even that hot. But me and Al were fucking. Like we were fucking. Is it Al actually hooked up with his girl? No, no. And then came to the party and looked through the window and saw them kissing. Oh, that day and now had a fucking problem for like a year. Understandable. And I didn't even know about it.

Like they didn't even tell me. Um, and they were best friends. But. So was it like porn though or is it like was it was porn dude? So you're in the front and someone in the back Chinese finger locks all that. Well, no, like you know, like when we meet him, we do it. We had a technique. We do, we meet a girl, talk, and it worked.

Probably five times. So you went in consciously before he'd been saying, hi, you were gonna try to get her. No, we would meet girls. We'd be out somewhere at a fucking, you know, I hop whatever. Some chick would be there and we'd hang out and we'd talk. And then we go to her apartment,

or some usually they hurt their apartment, because we always hung out and we'd talk. And then we'd go to her apartment, or usually they hurt their apartment, because we always hung out in downtown Boston. And we'd talk and we always find and goofy. We really, we should have a radio show together me and now we just fucking good. And then we'd do Truth of Dare. So you can wait, you'd be back in the house like all three of you and then we'd just,

the wind up playing Truth of Dare joking around. And then it'd be, we'd always know just enough ease to get, you know, you have to touch his, find his, of course. And then she, and then all of a sudden the dick would be out. Once a dick came out, game on. So she'd be like sucking his dick and then you'd start fucking her.

No, I'd just take my dick out too. And then I would jerk off until she reached for mine. You don't want to just put a dick in the mouth. Did you do it? Right, right. That's the worst rejection in the world. She's literally sucking your friends in, you're putting them out, get that way. Now you just have to sit there and watch. I'm at slowly edge.

So you'd wait for her to reach out and grab it. And then now we're both doing it. D.P.? Huh? D.P.? No? D.P.? No, D.P. We did know we did that one time. One time, yeah.

I never, I've never been with you guys at once. I've never been with two dudes. Well, today's your day. Matt, he wanted your birthday. Did you guys show it? Shubby guys, the good guys at the OPETs here. You're talking about the honey pigs. Huh, huh.

We, huh. Yeah, we did it a lot. I remember that was the time that I slapped my own. She slapped your own ass. He was getting ahead from this girl. We actually got referred. I'm not even kidding. That's amazing.

There's one girl we met, referred us to this other girl that we wanted to do a three-some and we had to go meter. We had to have like a meat and greet. I just didn't know. Should we have a interviewsome. And we had to go meet her. We had to have like a meet and greet. Should we have a job interview? Yeah, we had to go to her party. She had a party and we showed up. She opened the door like, hey, I'm like, we're Alan Bob.

She said, hey guys, come on in. And we had to meet, like she's having this party with my little friends, we hung out. And she goes, okay, once you come back tomorrow around 8, 830. And we're like, okay, hey. So the next night we showed up and we went up to her, she said, come on in guys and we went up stairs

to her room, she had a box of condoms and we got naked, we fucked the shit out of her. He was getting head, I was from behind and I fucking slap in her ass. She was so fucking like, oh God. And I was like, oh, fucking you like that. She's like, yeah, she's like a just cock. She turned around Yeah, and I'd fuck and I said, yeah me too. I fucking slapped my

Never forget they both It was very loud. They both looked at me anyway They both I remember they both said they made the plug. She slapped you on ass. Aww, that's a take-out of it. That could go in the true story. Yeah, the true story. I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, is that right?

That's fucking hilarious. But I remember we were fucking and then it was time to come. And now I had a big piece. You know, he had a bigger piece than me. It was like this thick kind of goofy dick. You know what I mean? Was it just a goofy dick? No, I like a thick goofy dick. So my dick is just regular, you know, dick.

And we're coming in our face. You're like, please come in my face. Come with your little kids, we're coming in our face. So I'd come and shot and it's skittin' and, you know. And then Al comeed all, like it all came out. No, like a Kumpazuka display. I've seen it online. It's a weird thing.

Oh no. Filled her eye socket like a lake. Oh, that's the word. It was just this pearly beautiful lake. I fucking hate that. I'm a slut and I get really upset when I get coming to my house. She fucking, I remember she was like, Al.

She's went, Al, because I think some would go it stays stinging like it's like It's like they try to impregnate your fucking eyeball I remember she had a port out into the pillow Cooking show right one teaspoon of car cooking show One teaspoon of coffee Just do it to taste So then I remember I remember that we went downstairs. She's like okay guys her I was hurting She goes well get dressed come downstairs. I made chili

Why were fucking she had chili on the stove she made us food We go downstairs nice time. She's cooking the chili, but she with one eye She had one eye shot because it was burnt so bad from his fucking awful, you know Bigfords Apple these come from other shit foodie Bickford's Apple P's come from other shit foodie eights horrible. We had chili and then the other girl came over. She was like, how was it? She was like, it was good.

We did that a bunch. We did that a lot. I think that would take me out of it. I don't know. It would have to be like my best friend. We were really close. Okay. Just seeing another guy.

I don't know. Also my concentration, I have so much anxiety when it comes to sex. That just like, if someone else is there, it just turns me on. I like it, it turned me on to see someone get turned on. And I like, you know, I like... Another dude though? It doesn't matter.

Well, isn't that why people watch porn? I mean, it's just... What do you mean another dude? You just said you'd fucking be with a transgender woman. A transgender woman. You'd suck a dick. Yeah, but she... Yeah, but they get it's dick context though.

Yeah, exactly, it dick context, exactly. I don't know. If there's titties above the, but they get it's to dick context though. Yeah, exactly. It did context, exactly. I don't know. If there's titties above the, you know, attached to the dish. I'm not really, I mean, I'm, it's kind of a fun time for me. Yeah. It's not really. I mean, if it was a guy I didn't know, it might be a different story, but you're best

bud and you're just hanging a chick. You're happy for your boy. Yeah, we're just, I mean, you know, it's fun. Also, I feel like givers are really into it. Like the idea of a girl being like saturated in like feeling good, I feel like that's a big part of it. Yeah, it was really, it was really about that. Which I get, just like ruining a girl.

Yeah, but that wants to be ruined. Though we know consensual ruin, but just ruining, just ruining, like shooting the angles. It was all about shooting angles like you know doing this to see that read like green light say this what is she say right and then all of a sudden It's like, you know, I'm a one girl the girl who referred us was crazy She was this little nerd that was reading a book in a coffee shop and it was like oh 24 hour coffee place in downtown Boston She's reading hamlet, some shit, and we were sitting there

and having a fucking round. And it took like two hours, and all of a sudden we were sitting there all talking together, but it took two hours. And then she was this little girl to sweat. She was, well, we're going back to my place. If you want to unchielly drown the corner, right in Fenway area, and we went back there,

and it was just a cool little apartment, and then we were hanging out, and we did the whole truth of their thing. We took another hour, and then she grabbed our dicks, but we just kissed, and it was really cool little apartment and then we were hanging out and we did the whole truth of dare thing. We took another hour and then she grabbed our dex but we just kissing. It was really harmless shit. And then she, we went in the bed and we were kissing and she goes, I'll be right back. And she goes into the closet like this fucking walkin' and me and out sitting the talking and we're like, all right, we're talking hard. He's sitting next to each other. No, we're not, we're just, I don't know what hard. We were, I'm hard.

We literally just started getting our shit off. You know, like taking our pants off. So we're lying there and we're kind of like, dude, what the fuck? And all of a sudden the door got kicked open. Oh shit. And I was like, I think there was smoke. I don't know if she had a smoke or she had a little cigar.

That's hilarious. But I really do remember smoke and lights, right? She's a DJ. And she came out with a fucking handcuffed belt and thigh high German fucking leather, fucking shit. And I remember I went, Bobby. I was like, I was just like, it's okay, dude. We'll get through this. I went, Bobby. I was like, I was just like, it's okay, dude. We'll get through this.

And she came to the bad man and she fucking wanted it. She had these big juicy college natural titties and we just did whatever it took to please this girl. And we did. We did such a good job, she called her friend. Why don't you write a book about all these? Well, I tried to put some of this in the cheat book. No, but yeah, just shooting angles,

the Bavisect stories, and audio book would be worth it alone. Ah, maybe someday in a book, where I'm actually meeting next week to meet a person about a book. That's exciting. But about my life. But you and I.

I would read the shit out of that. You and World War II and stuff. No, about Juvie and fathers and beatings, for all the shit and addiction. I watched, I would read that. Yeah, I would all read that. Yeah, it's all about all this crazy shit that happened. But you know, all that sex stuff,

this is what happens. The reason why people I think would sex can do it and not have hangups about it, I'm an addict. I have an addictive, I'm an addict. I have an addictive, I do things to feel better. I do things as a drug. I do, so sex for me gets out of hand. And I don't know what I want or what I like. I've done stuff that I didn't want to do.

I'm similar, I'm similar to that. And I don't like that. So that's why sex for me, it's like, oh, why can't you just go suck a dick or go be with a transgender woman or blah blah, because I don't know where that's gonna take. I really don't, and I love my life. I love my wife.

And it's like, okay, if I have to not do these things in my lifetime, I had my shot. I had my time. I did a lot of fucking crazy shit. So it's like, now I don't think I'd have the ability to shut it down and go off a bid. I went and did all this stuff and I didn't really wanna do it.

I did it to feel something. Like compulsive behavior. Yes, if I did it because of that, I would fuck. Like he should. You're just like, I'll do it. Yes, if I did it because of that, I would fuck like he should. You know, just like I'll do it. Yeah, well it is the same. Yeah, it is kind of like trying to feel, you know, you're just like trying to fucking ignore your feelings

when you're hooking up with random girls. But no, I don't think Matt did that to be with her. I think he just loved her. Yeah, or you know, there was like a different. No, Bailey was, for existing, most trans girls, guys get with them purely for sex. But Bailey, we weren't able to do that because I was currently with a girl at the time So she was cockblocking so we were forced to be friends. We were forced to be friends

Yeah, and it was yeah, definitely if we were left up to our own devices. We were both sluts We would have fucked and ever spoken again. Oh, wow Yeah, that's what would have happened I wasn't trying to date anybody and you know what I mean It just we wouldn't have gone down that way so luckily he had a girlfriend who Kind of cockblock read yeah made us friends for a year. Wow. Yeah, and so yeah like I met I've been I talked a little bit to the Michelle firestone who's a point stock too. She's actually very pretty too Yeah, the brunette right? Yeah, she's from Detroit. She seems really cool. Oh, that's cool

Yeah, she's really cool. Well actually you're gonna me. She's coming to one of the shows and she's doing cool. Okay. You guys should talk up over there. Does she do with all of her? Huh? Does she do with all of her? Yeah. Oh, is it the massage? Yeah, the massage, the greatest trans video. I used to watch your videos. Now I can't watch them because I just see Matt going, let's do it in one more time. This time I want the cock and sign. I'm actually working on a new project so I might might want to get in touch with her. You should she's amazing. That's great I remember see it's really pretty very pretty very feminine really cool. I've she's cool

She seems down to earth. I've only talked her on Snapchat Jimmy's friends with her to Naturally Anyway, he's Anyway, he's... He's really a lot of people. I would, dude. That's his book. I'm friends with a lot of people with this. No, but yeah, so we're gonna meet her, too.

You should definitely hook up with her. But that's why I love, I really value our friendship, too, because it's a fucking, like, you know, I grew up in Boston, alpha male, fucking, faggot, queer. I got caught a queer, you know, third, fourth, fifth grade, sixth grade, until I beat the fuck out of this kid. And then I stopped calling me a fag, but, you know, it bothered me, it bothered me because, I did stupid shit. I've talked about this before.

I've done stupid shit when you're a kid and you think you're gay because you jerk off with your friends or you even know what a dick is. You don't know what it is or what it does and all of a sudden you're just playing with it and fun stuff happens and you're like, and then you're a fact and then you learn that fact is bad, fact, you're gay, gay is, and it's like,

I'm so happy that my kid, because I know you, you guys, he's not gonna have that hangout. There's a freaking shimmy hooker at his birthday party. It's freaking me at his third birthday party. I know, next up the loris. Our next go day. That's so cool. You're raising, you know, you read about

when one or the writer or other people were like, that were had so cool. You're raising, you know, you read about when owner Riders, other people, that were had these cool upbringings, hanging out with Timothy Leary, or whatever. That's like Max kind of has, so we'll have all these cool stuff. We've got like Amy Schumer and Transexual porn stars and all these kind of, as Molly Crew at his birthday party is.

Yeah, he has, he's gonna have a lot of great people in his life, you know, from Star Starvros to you guys to Jim to Colin. Yeah. I mean, it's really is a fucking amazing upbringing he's gonna have. I just hope it doesn't make him too fucking like one of Frank Zappas kids. Just a gay man. I don't fuck off.

Do something. Do something. I don't think that's gonna be fun. Well, yeah, as long as you're not funding everything and he has to work, it'll be fine. No, I will give him responsibility. Thank you, it's awesome. Apps are fucking really.

I listen. We're gonna wrap this sucker up. It's been an hour and 13. We're gonna wrap it up at an hour and 15. So I will talk for a couple of minutes. I'm psyched to come down here. I love seeing you guys. Thanks for doing this special episode of you know what

Dude And what do you guys get going on anything same stuff really? I mean just the podcast and the website and I'm working on some new stuff But it's not ready yet. What is it can you talk about it? I'm you think It's a porn site and it might involve virtual reality. Oh And penises. I hope so. I'm just kidding. I have a porn sign.

Yeah. That's the only new thing. But I can't link anything. I got nothing else about it. It's nothing worse than just the lesbian porn. You need that. I said that on stage the other night too. Why not?

What I say? I go, I need the dick in the porn. I go, I know it sounds like, but it's not. I don't need it because I want the dick. I just need it there. I always find it funny people that think it's gay, they would even think it's gay to watch me fuck a girl, but then they'll just watch like,

Scott Nale's fuck a girl. And I'm just like, if anything, it's like 20% less gay. Like it's like, there's a tiny dip in the dick. Like, I've made that argument passionately. With lesbian porn. I don't buy that either of them are actually getting off Yeah, so at least when the dick and some of the acrylic nails You're like that's not a dike. She does it. She has fucking nails right right. Yeah, all porn So I just kind of forced themselves to do shit. Yeah, it's like well She's a dike. She has to have like dirty fingers. I'm gardening fucking sharp

Do you know they have short nails? We're just fucking like dirty fingers and gardening. Fucking sharp. Do you know they have short nails because they're just fucking hands fucking each other. Like they're starting a lawnmower. That's how they do it. Ah. Ah.

Ah. It's like, it's like a, it's like an esthetician cat grow a finger at the end. She has to pop it. It's, it's like, let's make a cat grow a finger at it because she has to smash that vagina. That's fucking funny. All right, Bailey, what do you got going on?

Just T.S-Baleyj.com and that's kind of it. I'm taking a break from social media and doing yoga. Oh nice. You're taking care of yourself. I quit everything. I'm like super clean living. Hey, what about this? What's up?

Monday, meaning you quit everything. Oh, you're gonna be your no-grandes. You're no fucking miserable. Oh, fucking funny. That's okay. That would be good. No, you use no-grandes. We'll use Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to kind of get

in the right zone. I said Monday. But I mean, yeah, yeah, but we're already softening. Yeah. We have a cheat day Thursday. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. I Monday we go and no sugar

No, sugar a grinsu We're doing that in a Japanese restaurant I know it's really bad. We were fucking we're like a rice And then we're like dude, what are we doing? Starverse, what do you got baby sides this tour? Just something my pie. Hey, how come on my podcast come town? Very popular part. It's actually strangely popular for some reason. I actually listen to that.

And then at Stavvy Baby on Instagram, STAVVY Baby. All right, man, that's a special edition that you know what, dude. Thanks for listening. Thanks for subscribing. Thanks for being part of this. And thanks for showing up at all these shows on the road

and supporting us live, because that's what we do We'll see you guys next time. You know what? Listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs Check out riotcast.com for of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free.

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