Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Nerbans

Episode Date: September 29, 2014

Robert is joined by Yannis Pappas, Dante Nero, Mike Brown and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Activa es lúnico, porque a diferencia de otros, activa ha demostrado que sus millones de probióticos naturales llegan vivos a la microviota. Y además ayuda a tu salud digestiva. Activa. Con catorza de fascinación, Iris Von Herpen es ahora available para tú. Un colegio de colegio inspirado por nuestro planeta. Cada colegio es una celebración de artístas y naturaleza, con más performantes, 100% vegan, her, body y self-care gift sets. Descubren de su colegio de colegio de la lectura.

¿Vocas contenido gratis Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. You're listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, what? I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... There's no topic, there's no directions. But I love doing it. I'm a fucking cast out. I'm a fucking...

I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking...

I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking... I'm a fucking can fuck it. Cause. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan.

I'm a fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan.

I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan.

I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. I'm a fan fan fan. If we're here on Thursday, you're usually here on Tuesday, but we're live on Thursday, we'll be coming out on Monday because I am going to fucking Copenhagen. Denmark to do some awesome shows. Where are those shows, by the way? Scopeo. Hey, use my, yeah. Reeman Theater in Copenhagen, Denmark. Unbelievable.

I'm there with, you can let that roll. I'm there with Aari Schaffer. I'm fucking excited to do shows with him because I've never done shows with Aari. And I'm a big fan of him and his ways. I would just say that. He's very funny, dude, but he's fucking, he's just a very interesting guy, you know what I mean?

It's my doppelganger, dude. I don't even know what that means. It's my doppelganger. Well, it comes with that is. It's my double gang. When it comes to the bitches, that's my double gang. Mike, let me hear you again. Yeah, it's me. It's my brown. What the fuck is a buzz? There's a buzz. It's a little buzz. There's a little buzz. And I don't know what it is. Scope, I didn't do a mic check. You didn't hit this buzz? Huh? It wasn't that.

Well, that's there now. Motherfucker. Um, anyways. Can you hear that? It's killing me. Yeah. It's fucking killing me. What is that?

Alright. Hang on one second. Everybody. Um, I don't know what that is Scopo What are you freezing for you fucking dad? Is it in the uh you're producing the show? It's horrible man. Is it in the recording? I mean what the fuck good of you as to like to not even have a solution

Not even the fucking lie to me. Listen, you just you just stared at me. It wasn't there before. What the fuck does that mean? It's there now. It shrugged it off. It's fucking there right now. I'm, it wasn't there before though.

I don't know if it's God. Is that better? Is that better? That's a little better, yeah. It might just be in the headphones, so. Yeah, can you hear it? I can hear it, but it might be in the headphones. It's probably not in the recording. Great. Anyways, there we go. Fucking scopo. He just went, like, what the fuck man? Are you the producer of the show or not?

Are your mics off? He's the producer. Yeah, yeah, I checked the mic. They're all working fine. So the buzzing one didn't exist. It's my head then You hear it right? There it is. Ah, it's the cord. It's the cord you're fucking tuned to the light. You can't have it. Listen, I'm gonna explain fucking Microno on to you.

You can't have a microphone cord wrapped around a fucking extension cord that has 19 plugs in it because this is gonna be static. Do you get it? I got it now. EMS. EMS. Fucking Christ, I am sorry. How about this? Oh man, I'm fucking sorry.

I mean, I can't wait to, we're getting a new intern. And do you understand? I get to upgrade. I get to get the new phone. Even though I can't get the new fucking Apple iPhone. Mother fucking God, fucking asshole. I should be able to get the new fucking apple I found motherfucking god fucking I should be able to get the fucking phone when I want it. I've supported you from fucking you dumb stupid fucking apple Newton I got the Newton I got the fucking Newton you grab the fuckers. I got the Newton the fucking Newton

How long you got it before you can get it get the new one. I can get it now I can afford it. I just can't get it because there's no fucking VIP line There's no mediocre fucking celebrity line. No deal is yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not the white stripes you I had a fucking guy an apple who we will remain nameless Yeah, the genius you know genius. No, I knew I was in a corporate. Oh Okay, talking at office Yes, I'm saying they have a different room when you go to the Apple store to have a room in the back little corporate accounts I was so excited. Oh man. So excited. Well. He tried his best for the mediocre celebrity that I am.

You know what I mean? It was fucking Christ. You know, and I'm sitting there and he put me on, you know, I was supposed to get it by, he kept saying, well, it looks like you get it by Friday. And he, I'm 82% sure you're getting this by Friday. I'm'm like great. I try to drop the whole five down to five something right right which is not a pretty big nut That's that's a half a fucking G. Yeah, okay on a phone. That's for the 128 right? I just bought the other one. Yeah, I bought the one twenty eight of course. I'm not gonna For my goldie locks fucking go for the little fucking chest right?

You're gonna go for the large two in a couple of months? Are you gonna do the large? What? The large. The plus. The big one. I want the plus, that's what I ordered. Oh, that's not out to win.

The plus is out now. No, it's just the six now. No, right now. Yeah, you can, you can got it. Are you fucking? No, the six is out. The large comes out in a couple of two more months. If you call large again

I will take the beating because I'll hit you with a mic stand. I'm gonna hit you with a mic stand You say large again say it again Scopo go hit Dante That's what that's what this would aggravates me about this whole fucking iPhone You know dumb Keith Robinson who's downstairs right now probably bothering somebody I'm not a big fan. That's what that's what I- This would have aggravated me about this whole fucking iPhone. You know, dumb Keith Robinson, who's downstairs right now probably bothering somebody. Yeah, Goddamn, they're gonna come out with the deluxe. That's what he says to me two years ago.

The deluxe iPad, I go, they're not- Listen, you jive turkey. Apple's never gonna name- They're not that fucking just cheesy to name something deluxe. And then they come up with plus I was like mother fuck on there's a deluxe coming. There's a deluxe iPad coming out next summer right now deluxe I I'm so mad about it. I'm so fucking mad about it. I'm so mad that I can't fucking just first of all

You can get the plus you I you can pre-order the plus And a lot of people I was supposed to get it Friday the plus 128 Silver plus okay, so it was coming and then it slowly started when I'm fucking 62% sure and today was fucking 2% sure that I was getting it by October 20th. And I was like, fuck me. It just killed me. It's like, I don't have one fan that works.

It has a blue shirt at an Apple store that can say, hey, listen Bob, check it out. I'm gonna take one, I'm gonna put it aside. You roll the fucking, say you're getting to God damn, you you roll the fucking say you get in the goddamn You know Macbook and you come in and I stick it in a Mac book. What the fuck? I'll pay full price. There's nobody that works in an AT&T store Come on. I'm surprised you didn't have a fan wait on line or something for you Well somebody I look I felt bad about that. I mean the couple guys were like look

I'll fucking do that now if you're listening. Get on that line. But no, I feel cheesy about, you know, I waited in line one year. You know San Francisco, I woke up at the crack of fuck found in AT&T store and I stood in that stupid line. And it was amazing. I wrote a joke about it, but it never worked.

Because when you're in a line, it's weird that you become friends. Like, you become really close with these people for the next five hours. Misrubble is nothing else out there. Yeah, as you're walking up, you become friends. You get all of a sudden, it slowly starts to happen, you become friends. Then you joke. They offer you some pretzels. Yeah.

Pretzels? And then all of a sudden you start talking, then you pair off, and then you kind of, then you kind of they offer you some pretzels. Yeah, pretzels. And then all of a sudden you start talking, then you pair off, and then you kind of, then you kind of get in a fight. It's like this whole fucking lifelong relationship that happens in the line. But as soon as they go next, oh yeah, goodbye.

Don't know you anymore. Fuck you, give me the last black one. Fuck off, I got the last one. You fucking queers. We're not friends. But yeah, it's unbelievable. It's fucking mind-boggling. And I know, dude, why are you so, fuck off.

This is my thing. I don't bang whores anymore. I don't drink. I don't use drugs. I buy Apple products. And I fucking wait for them. And I fiend over them. And I fucking jones over them.

And you fucks got me again with the iPhone Plus. You're gonna me with the deluxe bill you got the big everybody y'all is pop us come go look at he is man Jesus Christ you're a different man is that Miami glow God damn it's good I didn't know you have my boy coming holy crap yeah I got him coming. Yeah Well, I had him on the other day with Lewis Gomez. I know we were hanging out

Before he came on Kelly show, but I wanted him on with you know with just a regular show. Yeah, yeah, because he's back I'm black Both You're not black. You're close. You've been shot. Still trying to keep that white power going on, Bobby. Fuck this white power. I have no power. I can't get a fucking iPhone. Have you been listening?

You're going to get one that falls off a truck and Brooklyn. I, uh, you'll get one for $4. I, um, yeah, we're talking about the iPhone. Yeah. So close, buddy, to get in one. So close. You're trying to get one. I'm going to get one.

I'm going to get one. I'm going to get one. I'm going to get one. I'm going to get one. I'm uh, you'll get one for $4. I, um, you know, we're talking about the iPhone. Yeah. So close, buddy, to get in one. So close. You're trying to get the sixth. I want the six plus six big. Six, it's not, it's, I'll take big, say, a lot of things.

What a God. I'm fucking, every time I'm hitting scopo. Um, we, uh, yeah, I had somebody incorporate, uh know as a hey dude fan blah blah I might be able to help you and I hate the word might oh fuck off You don't know can't you suck a dick for me can't you do that I give you weeks of free shit on this rate can't you suck just go in and put it in your mouth Why do people freak out over it? It's like what the new ones are the what's what's gonna be the difference the picture is a little sharper I'll tell you a little Siri now comes in a new Zealand accent I'll tell you every what's he's gonna tell you everything I'll tell you the fucking difference when you're lying in bed at night next to it with two dogs one snores a wife that snores

You haven't got laid in fucking nine months and then you hear a kid whimpering in the background, and hopefully he doesn't wake up. And all you have is a fucking nice big screen new thing that you can explore and go into fucking other universes and swipe and do gestures and fucking types what you want, I can talk to Siri without it, but you're a tech geek, aren't you? You love it, you love it.

I am a fucking guy. Me and Bobby used to go at it. I'm out, I'm I'm out No, he's yeah, no you don't they mean him you mean you were urban nerds. Yeah, that's what I call Okay, that's what it is. We're urban nerds man. Yeah, we never in urbanist. We can fuck motherfuckers up We get we get road rage. No, don't fuck with my iPhone. We gotta get to do one you you fucking start talking tack with me I'm in you guys you guys look like you get cast in movies together. I'm going together.

Yeah, so you're gonna go through me and if you beg it through me, then he comes out and you're like, oh fuck, yeah. That's where Bruce Willough goes, God Jesus Christ, this motherfucker. You guys get to do a black guy white guy bounce her buddy movie. That's a great idea. That's a lot, y y'all not gonna fucking Well you just did an impression of other people doing an impression of you

Bobby I did the Brooklyn Bobby Fucking coffee Coffee boy, be done the fucking coffee Coffee, boy, be Duh, the fucking coffee We should write a Bouncer script Dude Hiya Hiya

I'm not Dante's a pimp Cause he's heavy on the cologne right now I know this time I've smelled cologne up here in the, you know what, dude podcast I wear cologne every week, I'm a big cologne guy Do you? I'm a eye-fucking. Do you I'm I fucking love So your body sweatshirt just cancels an outdog, cuz I never smell it. Oh, maybe you don't fucking get close enough You piece of shit hug you all the time. You don't fucking hug me come in for the real thing all the time

Where in Miami you fucking trade He went down there got thin you fucking got it That's what you call a piece and you fucking got me, you know, look at ya. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing.

That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. that's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. That's what you call eating this thing. I know it doesn't. Just a little smaller screen. First of all, the five doesn't do what the five S does. The only one that the five S, you know, go, I never fucking use Siri. Who uses Siri?

Raise your hands. You use Siri? Of course we do. The only time I use Siri is to fuck with her. To be like, yo, Siri, I wanna fuck you. That's not right, y'all, Nus. I just wanna hit, I just fuck with that. I don't, I go into the app.

If I need to set my alarm, I go set my alarm. It's a click of a button. I don't talk that bit. You don't go set, hey, Siri, set my alarm I go set my alarm it's a click of a button I don't talk that bit you don't go set hey serious set my alarm or Siri call fucking Dante No, I just throw through and hit Dante. I do it all the time when I'm driving I hit the button when you hit me on don't drive though. Yeah, he drives he drives people crazy Vios What I call Dante flip through and I have his name programmed in I got a problem with a bitch call him

Problem with a bitch that's his name's programming I think you do do do technology. Oh, what are you gonna see you have a Samsung, right? No, no man. I got a I got a four Even a life together. I'm sorry, one second. Can you please escort him out of the studio? I want you out. I want you out. I'm just missing you. You know that I've pulled four dust all over the mic.

I can't. Is it compatible with your Nintendo 64? Yeah, do you want a quarter to make a phone call? Oh my God. Fuck it. That's all. Come on. Listen, I know technology too,

as another Nurbin, and I know that I was waiting for the six to come out. Are you, you cannot be a Nurbin if you fucking have the four. What other, what other text of y'all know other than that? Nurbin, Nurbin has to get the newest and greatest thing. What do you want to know? What do you want to know? What technology do you know other than the phones?

I fucking know that the new social robots are coming out to you here about talk about it okay there's a new i'm gonna tell you this this this this uh... this uh... m it woman she's amazing uh... i forget her name if we had a not if we had the internear we'd be able to fucking uh... social robots type in social robots and you'll bring up her name she just invented this and it's gonna be in homes it will sit on your countertop and you'll be able to come in and go it will say hey Dante how are you and it's been it moves it moves around it changes its face

to you can do face time on it no that's not it uh... scroll down scroll down social robots keep keep scrolling I'll tell you when we get there. It's fucking amazing, that's not it. I'll tell you when you get there. What do the fuck does keep scrolling? I'll tell you. You keep, you're like my wife. You just do what you want, you're pointing fuck.

I will fuck a scroll, fuck it. I used to find it, but I'm scrolling. Take it easy. And you don't stick up here and you fucking neutral the Miami Cunt. All right? It's like the oldie honest. I just wanted to say, kids getting a poo show.

I recently put you in a car. It's like every friend's dad I had growing up. Kids were going to brain beach, getting a poo show. You bring the shit, you get bagels? Got images. You guys get bagels so anyways we um the kids starting it this this fucking they are kickstarting it no keep screw he went this fucking thing keep fucking fucking real you fucking useless

nothing I will fucking rip off your head and shit down your neck That's it you see yeah that works Bossa people that's the fucking robot first of all go on is treats a boss in we in New York You know what we have a respect for our employees first of all don't make this a boss in New York thing I'm never having you on the show again. That's why you're on I wanted to say goodbye to you fucking piece of shit This thing right here. This is go just click on view website. Oh my god. I got fucking I gotta get I gotta get fucking deep In here immediately This is falling apart with up this read it read it read it pop culture has robots wrong It's not going to be same garish rocky five showpiece

That wins the day or some her style artificial intelligence So real us to make actual human interaction obsolete. I want you to read it not like the robot I'm just trying not to fucking fuck up. That's what I'm trying to do right now robot It's all right her name is Cynthia Brazil is her name. She's a MIT fucking phenom and she Robot, Mouse, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, get the fucking bathroom. I see a divorce in the future. But for kids too, it will play with your kid. Like, oh, go, hey, what's up, Bobby? You want to do ABCs? And it'll go A, B, and it's fucking, but everybody's going to have one of these in your house. And it will say, you have an email, and it will read you the fucking emails. Yeah, I can't do that. Okay. Dante gets his girls to do that. Bitch, read that fucking email. You have a girl sitting on your counter.

Faster! You can get, pull your titties out from eating. It doesn't need a roll. All in a right tittie. So I think, Robots to me, what are you saying? 500 bucks. Yeah, it's not that bad. Wow.

That's almost the same amount of you would have spent on the iPhone if you could have gotten it 90 fucking her. I mean this is fucking real shit. We're talking about I can't get the phone you mother. What I do this You're not a you're not a nirban. I never wouldn't do that. I expect I expect that from fucking hipster flannel man over here Not a nirban, okay? From fucking hipster flannel man over here, not a nirbent, okay? Hey, I am my handy. That really didn't hurt you, Bob. Bob blinked a little bit when I said it. It really, I really listened.

I, I look, I love Apple products. I've loved them since the Mac classic. When they came out with the first portable, I had that computer. It was a box that you put in a bag and the bag was square. And you put it over your shoulder, it weighed 95 pounds. And I would take that to people's houses. And I did ads for people.

I remember I was in desktop publishing in college and desktop publishing and I was like, oh my God, this apple is so amazing. And I bought the 520C, the first notebook. I bought them all, I bought the Newton, I had it. I mean, it was fucking, I've been with them since they've worn the ups and downs. When they were fucking before the iPod, I was there.

Do you think this iPod is gonna work? Cause I don't think so. I think it's redundant and stupid. I think it's gonna go just like iPod. Apparently, this conversation is gonna be over quick with you, Jason. Yes, he's getting so strong. I think it's fucking dumb. conversation is gonna be over quick with you. Yes, he is so strong. I think it's fucking dumb.

He asked me a question and then before I answer you go, I think it's stupid, redundant, and fucking dumb. And if you think otherwise, I think the same are you. I don't think so. But as New Yorkers are nice to people. What the fuck? Oh, the fuck, John? It's hard to see my opinion in there quickly.

Well, listen, listen, fucking Rush Limbar. Listen. I, I think, opinion in there quickly. Well listen, listen fucking Rush Limbaugh. Listen, I think I'm gonna- What's on a fucking hill? I keep sliding down? Dude, change your seats. That's what Joe deals with. Joe's a shitlock, but I don't know. I'm sorry. I can deal with it. All right, here's a deal.

Well, we're in a fucking pre-war building in Westville. Everything is slanting. One of these days, we're just gonna tip over and fucking want to be in McDougalaine. I think that the watch, I really do think where it's curving that way. You're gonna have a watch on, and I think that unlike the other watches that are available

because I've been going through them, this really does have really useful technology into it. It's gonna be, the thing that's gonna break it is this This really does have really useful technology into it. It's gonna be, the thing that's gonna break it is this because I've had the I'm watch, which is a company from Italy that made a very similar watch that worked off the Android system. The thing that killed it was the battery life.

You, nobody wants a watch. I have a bright link. I love watches. That's why I was in the same. I'm a big fan of watches and I love watches for the style I love watches for the actual craftsmanship of a great watch is Insane they've been doing this for so long. It's crazy and And I love looking at my wrist to see what the fuck time it is, too. I'm not that phone guy but if the battery life doesn't last, it doesn't matter.

I don't want it on my wrist. If I have to plug my phone in every fucking night and my watch, and I forget the plug in my watch, I can always whip my phone into a plug. But what does the watch do that the phone doesn't do? Well, I just so you can look at everything right from your wrist. Is that basically essentially what it is?

Yeah. It's redundant to me. It's not, it's, here's the thing. It does different stuff. And actually, Apple, this is why they're great. I love Apple. They came up with a new way of communicating. Okay, I don't know if it's gonna take off,

but I love shit like this. I love when people think out like, like really create the ship. So I hate seeing out the box because people are so fucking stupid, but yeah, out the box box out the power of the bigum. So if you have one and I have one okay and my wife has one and you have one we all have these I can have you on there and I can instead of calling you I can literally just draw hey and then hit it, and then draw a fucking fish, or a taco, or say, right taco, hit it, 12 o'clock, hit it.

And it just vibrates very lightly, no one hears it, you feel it on your wrist, and it will say, hey, you know it's me, hey, tacos, 12 o'clock, and you can reply, of course, no, because you don't like me that much. Hey, you know, all you could say yes and Not just don't want to be a I don't want to be an enabler and if you want tacos or pizza, I'm not gonna be that guy How long is a salad I'm there Jesus Christ. I don't like that. Yannis is pent up his meanness

He had to be a fucking corporate douche for last year. Hey, well, you know Gary, I would love to go out to tacos, but I just can't make it. You know you should give me a good salad. Oh, not much. Fuck you. You know it's funny. You know it's really funny is when I came back to do this the first time. Yeah, it was like in the I'd only been down there a couple of months. Yeah, that's when I felt it. That's when I felt how corporate the environment I was in. Because you come in here and it's like, fucking, concert flying around the room.

Louis J. Gomez is a four-legged creature. And I just felt like I wasn't used to that shit. Like I felt like I was like on TV, live TV, doing all this corporate shit. I felt it here. No, I came back here. Hey, you don't feel it anymore, because I feel it.

You can zinc me around five times already. I mean, you said tacos, burgers, yeah. I used to get a lot of phones. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you and fuck Apple. So, the tech, and you can also do this. I can say, I can tap you three times just to remind you, I can just hit my phone one, two, three,

and your phone go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and you'll feel it. But what are we secret agents? Why do we need to fucking remind ourselves on the spot, can't you just text me? There's a lot of things that that's actually good. Are we coordinating like a bank robbery? It's a lot of things when you're in a meeting

or you're somewhere you can't use your phone or you don't wanna make a phone call, you can just do that. And you can, or somewhere where are you, I don't know if that's gonna work. I'm not saying that that's the most, oh my God, this is the next thing. I won't fucking...

What you're saying is the soul I did at the beginning. They didn't just put a watch out that does what your phone does. They made sure there was differences. The scroll dial on it is amazing. The functionality of the watch is fucking amazing. And if you're like tech, functionality is just as good as the fucking software.

So I love the scroll on the side, where they put the home button, and the way you get into, it's all these little dots, okay, with the apps, they're round circles, and the way you get into them, you can scroll, you push that, and it magnifies them. You know what I mean? Like, going to Mac. Yeah.

It just blows them up. It blows them up on the bottom, so I don't know, but I do know that wearables, you're going to be wearing your phone someday. You will not be, you will wear your phone, it will go around your wrist, and it will expand, or shoot onto a fucking wall, laser keyboard, whatever the fuck it does, you will not have, you will not put a phone to your ear.

I actually got that laser keyboard. That's terrible. It's, you gotta cross the line. I don't know, I love the opinion that this is good as it gets, and they're just trying to fucking keep going. My grandfather said that cross the line. I don't know. I'm off the opinion that this is as good as it gets and they're just trying to fucking keep going. My grandfather said that about the television when the remote came out. But it's different.

I mean, it was like, that's different. That's different. I mean, this is as convenient as something can be. No, it's not. This is as convenient as something can be. You don't, because without it being too convenient where it lives, it already fucking runs our life. How much more do you want it to run your life? But you don't go go glasses stoop you want to be on the internet all the time

Google glass is dumb because I don't I had an opportunity to get it I was like I don't want it because it's it is dumb, but as far as phones go you can get Flexible you can get thinner you can get smarter Flexible you can get thinner you can get smarter apps a fucking Louis doing now is a hundred and was it a hundred twenty eight the new one is 128 gigabytes that that was not even a laptop Yeah, you get a faster gig you can get fast technology better, but it can't get any more convenient Absolutely you cuz you don't know the technology I'm marching them and I'm denying them. I'm like, you're just shitting right on them. Never go down doing these medication tops.

Like for old people where you, it reminds you when to take your medication and when it tells you how much to take and then actually putting chips in the tops of medication tops now. So they're doing this a whole movement to integrate all those technical issues. The health wise is gonna be crazy,

but here's the thing, flexible screens, graphene, these new materials that they're coming out with, batteries, a thinner, hard drives are smaller. Dude, a hard drive, my first computer had megabytes, not fucking gigabytes, megabytes, okay? 14K modem. You had to plug into a hard line, okay? Now think about where you are with the phone.

It's the payphones. Look around the city, you know what they are? They're fucking orange cones now. They're taking them out, they're gone. That was amazing technology, okay? It's gone. This CD player's fucking gone. That was amazing technology. It's gone. This CD player is fucking gone. Tower records.

Fucking gone. This will get thinner. This will become where I was done. It's almost done. It's still free and people still need it because we're in cars. If Stern and ONA got off as serious, it's still free and people still need it because we're in cars. But it's a stern, like if stern and ONA got off as serious, it's done. Yeah, I mean, it's fucking done.

If they went to the internet. If they went to the internet. Which I think everyone's eventually gonna go to the internet. I think so too. Yeah, I think television everything. I mean, look what you can do. Look at, look at, look what you can do.

I can make with my phone, I can make a short film. I've done it, I went to Cleveland and I did a short little 30 minute movie with my iPhone and a lavalier microphone that goes into my iPhone. I made a short movie with the comic Ramona out there that was fucking good. Had a sound bed, it had fucking, it was,

but you know, when people were making, getting, you know, in fucking Tribeca 15 years ago, I could do it my iPhone now, which is nuts. You know, if there's like some 15 year olds listening to this right there, they're like, this is such a 2009 conversation. I said that to my wife. You could make a movie with your iPhone. Yeah, to get with it, you've old fox. It's true. It's been like four years, you could do that. They have a phone, if you go on YouTube

and you Google a futuristic phones or phone prototypes, it's fucking nuts, where, you know, Nokia is great at it that, where the phone literally just goes around your wrist, like your wristband right there. It'd be that, and you can snap it off, and it goes straight, because they're flexible, and you can snap it off and it goes straight because they're flexible. And you can open it up and make it bigger, the size of an iPad and then push it down.

And then you can project because they have these too. They're called Pico projectors. They're mini projectors that are HD. You can throw, you can put a hundred inch TV screen on any wall or any surface. That's crazy. And you can, they put them in phones two years ago. Yeah, go ahead, play that.

They put them in phone two years ago, but it didn't take off because it's not there yet. But imagine being in bed and you can just, on the pillow next to you. There's two more on camcorders now. You can buy camcorders with the projector. The picoprojectors and I know. Just already and then you just shoot. And the laser keyboard you bought bought that, they still stink. But imagine that.

If your phone had a laser keyboard built into it, a projector built into it. So when you come home, you just shoot your fucking, everything is right in your hand. That's where it's going. There's no more computer, there's no more fun. It's in your phone, it's flexible, you can wear it, you can put it on your body, you can put it on your wrist.

And it's- Your iPhone now is virtually a laptop five years ago. It's even probably better than a laptop five years ago. I feel like the watch is gonna work, but it's gonna be more of a fashion choice. I mean, they have things that it's- Yeah, that's the only thing I think is the same you, I'm like you, I like wearing a watch. Yeah, and that, it's like I've had many or I've had.

Like it does, it's based on what you want. Like, you know, you're a lifestyle. That's an accessory. I like a nice watch. I feel like the phone is the mandatory. I agree, I agree. I think the watch would work if there's no phone though. I don't think someone would have the phone

and get the watch. You have to to you don't have to get no They don't work with each other you so you need so you need you're not You are not a fucking urban you're just urban Raise your iPhone 4 before you say another word. Yeah, I'm saying iPhone 4. Yeah, man, there's no reason. There was no reason. Every time it was before and then it did the 4S and I was like, okay, it put some point.

You guys start charging a higher cover that show you do that town. Oh, we have show by the way. You never ask why I didn't do it. No, he's asking. Yeah, I'm doing it. Yeah, you're doing it. When am I doing it? He's doing November 8th That's a great. Yeah, Dante did a body Yeah, you did it that shows awesome. Yeah, Lilliot brudge you came and you may find it at old Oh, yeah It was hot how the fuck they get so many people to come to that show people know what the rail is man

They come People that come to that show people know what the rail is man they come here, but you know I get him I'm it I want to try to do I got this apple my awful for you know, I mean it's so work. I didn't broke don't fix I had a fucking almost nirvana almost had a I had a fucking almost nirvana. We almost had a nirvana. You give a black dude a cup and they get excited. That's how I do. That's how I do every day. Monday to Sunday. They mop back up.

I'm thinking of going in a way. I'm thinking of going and maybe driving around my city, seeing where the smallest line is, and maybe waiting in. And I ir a ir a ir a ir a mi ciudad, viendo con las mismas las lindas y me voy a ir a ir a una casa. Eso no te voy a ver en el día de hoy. Es verdad, es muy bueno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por uno en medianas a domicidio solo pidiendo el line ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por uno ¡No, no, no!

¡Dominos! Pizza Wait for what? I'm going to fucking Copenhagen, I wanna show up with the fucking iPhone Plus ¿Ahh, you have all these cocs? ¿Qué fue? ¿Qué es esto? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What's your big what is this? Sam we got it out there. No they don't it comes here first dude you're gonna be right there ready You know here's the oaky doke with I don't know what okey doke me. All right

Go ahead with the with the the Sam song you know how the Sam song I don't know please tell me what okey doke means May and switch the swing the swing the Slip to a mingle. This is how everybody's been rocking the Samson. Hey, let's see who you did. Now he's urban. He was a urban, urban, and a fucking urban. A Samson was a shit phone until Jay-Z led the end card to album them out.

And that's when everybody started buying the Samsung I I disagree I will I will I will I will tell you what I think Samsung did okay? Samsung caught up to the iPhone as far as Being good, okay, there was all these Android phones sucked okay? They look great. Yeah thin There was all these Android phones sucked. Okay, they look great. Yeah. Thin, Gorilla Glass. Oh my God, but they sucked.

The operating system sucked. It didn't work as good as, and flawless as an iPhone. What Samsung did is they became as good as iPhone. Okay. Less customer fucking complaints and returns. People are gonna, I love it. I love it. That's what sells a phone.

It's awesome. It's great. And I talk to Samsung guys and they love it. They fuck. Now if you go from iPhone to Samsung, I think you're going to come back to iPhone because you're used to that. But if you're starting fresh at a fucking beautiful Samsung note, you're going to be like, this is, this does everything.

But I'm saying the re what, be like, this is, this does everything. But I'm saying the reap what made that jump was Jay-Z, them getting Jay-Z to drop the album. And you had an album is. But I don't know what a fucking Goatie Goat is. I don't know what you said before. I come in everyday to get this. I get this. Here's what the Goatie Goat is.

Goatie Goat. The Goatie Go goat on the albums is this I don't know why I come I Jay's it's not that I couldn't be that only that that way No, but that was the boost that's what gave the market the marketing boost That's million albums the million albums already on your phone a million phones is not a lot It's it's not a lot but it hurt. It made Apple make that iPhone 5c, that cheaper version. They were just trying to compete with Samsung. I don't think so. I really believe that here's the one thing you got to remember. The fucking Samsung is

half the price. They were giving away fucking Samsung tablets if you got a Samsung note. You understand? They were half off. You could get the average person, okay? Black or white, middle class, and below could go and get this phone. That's where they got people.

It wasn't JZ, I'm sure that helped. I'm not gonna take that away from you because I know you love that fucking theory, but it's because if you look at Apple, Apple is the fucking, the Mercedes, and Samsung is the Honda. They both do the same fucking thing, and they're both as good as each other,

but one's a Honda, and one's a fucking Mercedes. Right, right. You pick up more bitches with an iPhone. No, no, no, no, bitches with an iPhone no down no I think that's what Samson I think this is doobie love and notes you've got to know the fuck is it doobie love and notes no money get that okay money right notes

you don't know any blacks like dude are you sure you're nervous I'm a nerd I know what's up with the one up from a gigabyte Terrible You're a nerd I was kidding. I can see Terri, I'm an official You got it wrong. What the fuck? He said it. I said it as a joke.

I know that, but you should know that it's not that. But I knew what a Terri bite was. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I said it as a joke I know that but you should know that it's not that but I knew what a terabyte was I just what is it? Terabyte how many how many more more? I'm out of five more bite more bite. That's what more bite. Oh bite bitches like more bite Terabyte so I think I more. Terabyte. So I think I I I I I told my wife I wish I was born in 1980 because now I I would get to enjoy the next phase of technology. You know what I mean? We're we're coming in thinking how far we went in the last hundred years. It's

fucking crazy. You think about how far we went in the last five. It's not crazy. Yeah, the five. Look at the studio. We're fucking doing a rate. This fucking 15 years ago could not happen. Yeah. It would be thousands and thousands of dollars. And now we're just fucking.

Let's go do a radio show. And as many people as I want to listen can fucking listen, say I want nothing. When it or nothing when I called you I called you up about putting Cameras in in in the pimple cup right and you said I was like well I'm just a camera's and you were like, ah, you know some of them are a little more expensive than others And I'm like, oh, why did I turn Jewish? You know, what was that being like? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man, that was a little more expensive than others

And I can't ask you for nothing Get this one you get that one and then I was like how much how much and he was like 130 bucks Oh god, I was done first of all I was going I was going by your zip code I didn't know I didn't want to offend all All right, I've been to your fucking house with statues on front. I love your name, but it's a neighborhood that like used to be owned by Italians within the black conquered. Just like a more. You can see like a

little tomato place where a whole tomato plant used to be and it's like trying to come back up. It's like Hannibal in the morse. He comes on steps on the tomato fucking dive it. Tomatoes, motherfucker. Don't you think it's it's a somethings to be said that we're kind of the last generations that were able to play outside though.

You know, play kick. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you like kids don't go outside. They don't exercise. They don't use their imagination at all. That's got watches. First of all, that's not that's not true at all. It is true. I have a kid you cock sack and you're just you just You just tell me what to park you fucking idiot look my girlfriend is basically a kid

She doesn't have a girlfriend Smoking hop on the way She doesn't play out Oh, you got it? You got this? Yannis Poppins has a smoking heart girlfriend. Ooh would have never thought that you shallow twat I want to see you dated chick you should date Right I want to see a fat Greek girl on your own

Fucking whiskers under a fucking nose give her a couple years. She'll get there She is Greek. She's have Greek. I just read it. I just- I'm coming home, mama. I just, I just read- I just read my people. I just read a whole thing on Steve Jobs, did not let his kids fuck with iPhones or iPads. He, there was none at the dinner table. You had certain times that you could use your, this is the guy who fucking made the shit

and said fuck, it's not happening Yeah, it's in and I think With any technology we abuse it we figure it out and then we learn how to use it and even my kid I have he has an iPad we do he a couple games on it We try to teach him stuff on it and then it's done gone and then we go down and we play we go to fuck outside He goes to jbery he goes swimming so I think kids believe me every parent I know does 9 million you try to do shit with all the sand it's when we used to get it I used to get up at eight o'clock in the morning hit the street yeah stick pep bitches Steel shit, not to like three o'clock That's all three o'clock

Wait stick ball box ball Coco, and then at three o'clock we pep bitches then you collect money for the bodegas Yo Gary I know man you're my friend, but I need that money I'm talking about two pieces Man, you're my friend, but I need that money. I'm talking about two pieces. I'm talking about the teenage kids. I'm not talking about the little kids. I'm talking about like four things.

Like 13 to like 16 that age. They're not, if they're not on a basketball team or actually playing a sport as a jock, they're not going outside. I agree with you. I think that here's a thing too. It's getting worse because video games are so fucking adult now and so cool. Dude, I haven't played video games since my son was born.

I haven't touched my Xbox. My Xbox, you know what it has in it? The Wiggles CD. Okay? I'm a fucking Wiggles. I hope they all die in a plane crash. Fucking assholes with different cold shirts. I don't even know if they're Australian English.

We're the fuck are you from? They're made. So I understand that though, I would play my Xbox. I was fucking in my late 30s, playing this game all night long. I was like six, seven hours sometimes. Yeah, that's why I got rid of it. It just took up too much of a life. I'm gonna play it a little longer.

It's getting worse too because they're getting better. And they better. Yeah. But here's the thing with these games. You can't take away the hand eye coordination, the actual brain stimulation that you need. Yeah. So kids maybe not playing outside. Yes, which I think they should, but they're also, they're training their brains a lot more than we did in another way. Because the, the puzzle saw the same and they were talking to people in other countries playing, you know, as they have,

they have all the information of a library of an encyclopedia of the whole world right in their fucking fifth. Right. And they, like, yeah, like white kids are playing black clans. Yeah. You know, and you know, and German kids and Asian kids. And I mean, they're also being fucking horribly racist to each other. Because they're fucking 90 miles away. And they have a headphone on you. Motherfucker. Why you mother? But God, nothing displays the extreme how great we are as a species and how fucking horrible we are as a species as the internet Yeah, it's the word the nothing has ever brought juxtaposed those two things right together like the great app by the way juxtaposed juxtap You put your head on Dante's body. If I'm gonna... Nerman. That's fucking Nerman, I'm taking it.

I'm gonna upload that. Fucking God, I hope that wasn't just the beginning of a stutter. It was just that was the first time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Told you we me and my wife speaking about stutter's the funny I feel bad for those people who stutter I really do but there's nothing Funnier than a stutter to me. I just killed me. We we hire a dooblo. Is that a dooblo? What the fuck are those? Anyways, those the bitch that comes and teaches you had you had ever kid What is that? You know what? Bobby What is that? Do you, Midway? Don't say? Don't say? No, Bobby, what you want to do?

She's giving birth to a daughter in the air. Oh, no. No bitch, burp that baby on your own, bitch. Yo, spurt that baby on your own to give me the money for it. Baby, coming up. Bobby does that impression. It's almost like it's two of me and it's crazy.

That's amazing. I love that. I'm not, like, you tell me it's things is gonna make me not do it. I'm not gonna work on it. You're the famous. Who's that? Who's the Denmark and do you?

We do not know who this squeaky boy is. Is that baseball? You mean a midwife? No, a dooblo. Type in dooblo, I think it's called how fuck do you spell? I don't know figure it out Doob do do blah do blah do blah? Scopo Anyways, yeah, just this it's it's not worth having you if I have to help you every time You fucking I don't know do blah. Yeah, he doesn't go boy. How are you fucking, I don't know how to spell. I don't know. Dupla. He doesn't go play how he spelled.

All right, here I'm gonna teach you, you sticking up for this fuck fuck you. You fucking trade a con. I feel bad for a, I feel bad for a, I feel bad. I don't know where you been. You been.

Dupla. There you go, you got it. Dupla. There it is. Is that it? No, that's not it. Type in child, person, and then you type in dupe something and it comes up. Common sense. It's like a midway. It's not it type in child Person and then you type in doop something and it comes up common sense like a midway. It's called it

It's like a midwife Okay, so anyways, she comes over dude. Let me tell you something this bitch She was a malato girl, okay, she look like a Cosby kid. Yeah, I mean sexy smoke sexy smoking she walks in Yo yoga pants. She's in my fucking center. He fucking rubbed off me, yo, yo, yo, go. I'm gonna up, I'm gonna up, I'm below that. So, okay.

She, it's unfuck, she comes in, she sits at the table, me and my wife, she puts her stuff on the table and she goes, okay guys, and I'm like, looking at it like, oh this is so oh my god she goes okay i'm gonna uh... uh... my listen i'm like what the fuck my wife went ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I went Fucking best together

A stuttering gorgeous face Anyways, all right, we moved on scope Don't blame me I can't find it if I find it if I find it I can't find it if I find it B. What is the like what does she do? What is it if I find it? No? I want to say something if I find it let's say if I If I What is the what does she do if I find it? No, I want to say something if I find it You have to put my nut in your mouth That's a bad deal Bobby Not for me. Absolutely not I would love to put down no absolutely not what if you said okay Sounds No, absolutely not. What if you said okay? I guess that sounds bad. What do I get out of this? What do I get out of it?

A dupla a dupe dupe Fuck is there a chat room going doesn't somebody know in there? I guarantee somebody's calling me a fucking moron It's a fucking doopy, dude Anyways get off your phone. What is that? This is why I try to get it I know what you were doing. He's a fucking con you know you talk about he just put on this rent Do people on their phone? You're one of those fucking

I don't want to have you can't look sorry if I was checking my phone while there was a lull in the radio show You know he was doobler and doobler for the eighth time. I was there. It's a it's a doola doola And as a fucking doll cuz you're looking down at your phone I'm you're here to know for fuck I was waiting for scope out of to put you nut in his mouth What your phone away? Who just respawn how many retweets do I have on my statement? No fuck yourself poppus Doo I had a do-la. I was a do-la.

Also known as a labor coach. No, oh, now you're all fucking telling me. Oh, my God, yeah. Pay in the world now. I want you to find, give me the definition for douchebag. Is it that the same thing as a midwife, though? That's a midwife, yeah.

Yeah, a midwife, yeah. Same base. Sanonymous with. I'll tell you what it is. It's a waste of fucking money. Again, with technology, you can fucking go on the internet You know everything does have anything you want anything that's happened in my house that needed to be fixed I went on YouTube and fucking this some dude who had nothing better to do who's an expert in the field

I what you want to do to attach a you know a new electrical outlet and Step by step by step and you can do it Those guys in the past cabinets everything. I just fucking did you ever get that FBI? I Locked your fucking browser shit. No, cuz I don't do child porn No, what is that yeah? Yeah, I got that porn and then they lock your browser. It's a it's a virus. It's a Organized it's an organized crime thing where they want you to go to Walmart. You pay

$300 they give you a code you punch the code in and then it releases your Brought to second. I need to know about they want I should stop watching porn. Yeah. Oh, yeah What's that but they lock that they do that to you? I got locked out of the daytime. No, they don't lock it. It's a scare. I want to ask you a question. OK, so this happened to you, too? You haven't any, a few times, yeah.

OK, so you guys are both doing porn, right? Yeah. Horrific sites are regular sites. No, porn, huh? I was only porn-hubbing. You mean, Milt, DP? OK, explaining me what happens. Cougars.

Sexy Cougar anal. Come on. Explain it what happens. It just, girl anal come on explain him what happens It just it comes up. Yep, and there's this thing and it looks like a fucking FBI all kinds of shit and Codes and stuff and then it tells you that you're that your your your brows has been locked and it's been being recorded For child porn they said they say it's for child porn or something like that And that out They say they say for child porn or something like that Guys they will always say it so it scares the shit out of you It's the first time it's scared the shit out of you. I called the FBI because he was watching

Because he was watching child porn It's just a virus, but that's the only way it should scare the shit out of you if you have a little girl going God It's still scary What did, I take what did you? I was like I said the FBI I call I was like I just got I'm I'm pretty sure was a virus And they say I was like I just want to double check. I was like hey I just got this thing it says FBI child pornography. I was not watching child porn like now It's a virus just like go to the best by that's a character. You just call the FBI. Well here

It is. You do you can do that? Did you just call the FBI I'm black yeah excuse me officer she's this is thing I said I was doing something incorrect so okay I'm making sure the way Chris it. I thought it was like Guys you really you got a fucking Listen I want to ask you question. I really want to know about this. This is fucking crazy So it drops so it drops down. Is there a workaround? Is it bullshit? No you keep clicking like leave page Whatever it keeps coming back up, so you can't go on another computer or your phone and go, I got this, there's no nirbin that worked around this and said,

all you have to do is this. That's what I was gonna tell you. Okay. But you do it like you keep trying to, and so you have a knowledge of your apple and so you start doing the thing you maybe shut it down, you open up other screens Yeah, force quit none of the stuff works, but you go to your other computer. You go to iTunes

You go I got this thing thing thing thing the guy goes do this do that do this boom It's gone Right how to go so you don't have to go to fucking Walmart Yeah, but I had to go to Best Buy because I got it like four or five times And it came back stronger every single time did this happen on a Mac or PC PC so that it came back stronger I like I couldn't do it myself. I had to bring it to somebody okay, and here's another fucking thing because you spring up a good point Yannis that Max don't get this shit not yet. They're about to get him No, this is a Mac. I love that yannis. What are you?

Who are you a Mac? You can't just say fucking on a Mac. Yeah, I'm like book. That's what happened a MacBook they hackers do the viruses on the PCs because on these take up more computers. It's a bigger deal, but now Macs everyone's got a Macs and now the hackers are gonna start Well most most viruses are like in an EXE file and Macs don't accept EXE file. Oh is that why it is? No XC plus plus is haunted right? I should have done it in a plus. Right, it's very, it's a art of a, so. You know this shit too?

When Nervans man, y'all should pitch a fucking thing. I don't like Nervans. Like black guy white guy bounces at night during the day of Nervans. We have a show coming out on fucking satellites called Nervans. Nervans? Yeah, all right.

You gotta be get, you have tattoos, you have to own the latest iPhone or Samsung. Okay, and we just go beat up people with our phones. And you have four. No, you have to have, yeah, we do that on weekends. And you have to have at least 19 old Bluetooth devices that you use once and never used again because you forgot to charge it and you said, fuck it.

What's up buddy? Thanks buddy. I'm here. Take that back. Yeah, but it was it was a quick fix YouTube. Yeah Type today. What is YouTube again? YouTube? I'm not Bam here do this do that reset it reset the browser. That's where a nerve in types by the way But you got it. You got it on a Mac though. Yeah. I don't know why. This is fucking nuts. And this is, people, you shouldn't panic

when this shit happens. But I feel bad for the people that went to Walmart. I mean, this fucking people that got pervert went down instead of walking and go, excuse me. On mine, it said just Go to this site and then pay $300 on this site and then you'll get rid of it That's how I knew it was a western Union. Yeah, go to western Union Walmart A bunch of stuff you could go paid a 300 bucks and they give you a code you punch the code in and you're good

Yeah, that's what really I kind of figured it was bullshit. Yeah, that's fucking even they even had a picture of Obama on it. Really? Yeah, he watched a shot. No, like his like with FBI and that's how you know it's bullshit. That's like the story I told about Dane did to me the other day with that website. He fucking, he, I had this whole website I talked about last week's show where, you know, comics where it was a guest book back in the day and comics would

go at it, like, you know, Norton, they didn't know each other, I'd assume names, Keith, and they'd attack each other and I had hundreds and hundreds of people going to this before social media, before my space, before like, you know, just when instant message instead of coming out and he shut it, Dan shut it down by sending me, he did Photoshop some like a little black kid's face like almost about to cry. And like, you are the child statutory act of fucking use torres and staches and fucking all that shit

and wrote this, we're gonna sue you and bring you to court and the FBI. I took the shit down. I fucking panic. I fucking panic. I went through and took all the fucks out one day So I put fucking f dot dot dot dot Hey, it was fucking on it was terrible and then I just took it down I was like this is fucking two years later. He goes, oh, that was me. Yeah, I was just sick of doing it

That's a little sociopathic fucking two years. Oh, by the way you remember Hey, memory you remember when you almost invented Twitter Yeah, when you would have been a billionaire yeah, I ruined that You right that was fucking Twitter. I was on the class you fucking in that was Twitter before That's a real nirb and thing I'm gonna fucking smash you with an eye from three Probably got a 1g of my kitchen drawer Don't how many of those fuck you know I sell on my I took a bag home from here of technology of the most amazing shit from last year of the most amazing shit from last year. A satchel. I'll do fucking shit.

You got the old plug? I got the... How do you juice up when you like out in the public? You can't even get that plug no more, you know. I can't even buy that plug no more. I can't even get Amazon plug Damn Amazon that from Korea It's fluorescent green you can't even juice up without you to put on a plug I got I got another plug I got from a bodega uptown. It's in my pocket right now to call out I'm like see what is it it's like a pink pink kind of

This motherfucker has a pink I got a charger well He's got a travel like three backups in case he lose that one. The phone's gonna go dead. Yeah, that's his thing. He had a choice between blue, green and pink. You were pink. I got the fucking right aid Dwayne reconfucked the fuck before. I had his cock second-winged pink to match his fucking wristpad.

But you know what it is? You know, it's interesting. Black dudes can get away with pink and shit like that. It is? They can get away with salmon? You know, with fucking antics. Yeah. Yeah. We put it on, it's like, gay, you dudes, this shit's poop.

I put it on, I'm fucking selling cars and queens. I'm not a fat bald fucking sweat neck. I tell you, I did, we'll just change subject real quick. I did, we've all been on sets, okay? Yeah. Well, Scopo? No. Mike, you been on sets? What have you done? Okay, yeah, well scope oh no

Mike even on sets what did you what have you done? I didn't adult swim thing coming out to Get that in your face in your face Take that Bobby, all right. Well, you've been on a small set I tell you this I play cops a lot. I wonder why right? There's nothing makes you feel fatter and let you know how fat you are than it is a fucking You have to tuck that shit in pull that shit up and then the, they go to put a belt on me today in front of everybody. They went through three of them. This lady went like this, okay,

I want you to just do me one favor, relax. She told me to relax, like if I relax, I'd become less fat. She was trying to come up with solutions. Finally, the director came up, look, you know what, we're not, we'll just shoot around it. I changed the director came up, look, you know what? We'll just shoot around it. I changed the director's shots because of my fatness. A little fucking tie and the things tied around my neck.

And I got the stupid, my walkie-talkie that goes up on the collar. It goes the go on the collar. It's just it's gonna put it in midway. It's clutching onto it and every time I say something my tit jiggles and I kept popping off. Fucking miserable. I did I didn't nurse Jackie today. Oh nice. That's question. It's this is there's 37 I think 37 shows shooting in New York

right now, which is insane. Okay. Foot in New York actors, it's fucking great. And the greatest part of bottom unlike LA, you don't have to fucking drive to these. You can take a train or a cab. Oh, you can't drive and it's not a pain in the ass. Excuse me. And you go in and you'll know in two days where you got it. Or sometimes you know that day, cause they go so fucking fast in New York City. Because, you know, they got permits and we gotta go. You go in, you audition, it's usually a three days.

It's down to like fucking four people, we're not doing this casting call, every good looking guy in LA. It's down to the type. And you go in and you fucking nail it and you'll know. Love, Joe, not this time. You got it. You're unhulled. And then you go and shoot. And you're somebody's how many of them not shooting in Hollywood because it's because the city's broke. Yeah. And the only time they shoot, they shoot in LA is because of if you got like like big stars that want to shoot near

their home otherwise they won't do it. So everything is happening here right now and then like and they're great, they're great television shows and I'm telling I went on the set today and she was fucking great. She's a little sexy don't you, man. She's like a hot milk tea kind of. When she was, when she was, it's a Prano-wise. I didn't think she was hot. Yeah. I don't think she was on that. But she's sexy, no.

She's very sexy, man. But she's so fucking nice. Dude, you don't know. When you, I mean, nice to meet you, I introduce yourself. You know it's like that, Viera. Sophia? No, Meredith Viera.

Meredith Viera. Okay. Yeah. I did her talk shows because she has, I think she has a talk show now, but I did the pilot. Right. And I met a Vanessa Williams

Such a nice lady, but yeah stunning. Yeah, we look at her and you're like you can't talk you're like I did when I do We have birds yeah Dude I did when I did I Kim. Oh Jimmy. She was on it with Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds is harder than her though. Oh my god. My lord, if I could ever have a fucking, if I could ever just do one guy, if he just came out, he signed on a movie for the morals.

I'll tell you the movie. I'll tell you the movie. Alright, check this out. You wanna see a fucking trailer for a superhero movie? You wanna see the next movie that, fuck, you love Iron Man Man how fucking cool he is Dude Deadpool. Oh, he's doing Deadpool Yeah, he was the guy next man. It's really happening. Oh, because listen, here's the thing

They fucking just announced the other day that it's going down. Oh, it's gonna happen But the reason why they can't it After the first of all the X-Men Deadpool assholes. His main weapon is his mouth, okay? A little origins on, one of the origins on Deadpool, he was, you know, they tried to make them give him the powers of Wolverine, the military, he was, you know, that type of, you know,

fucking assassin type guy. It went wrong, burnt his skin, all over his body. The pain made him go fucking insane, you know kind of you put on the costume to hide the fun How ugly his fucking scars are and he's this fucking crazy Social path that's hilarious and murderous people, okay cut to X-Men Ryan Reynolds Who's great and then when they make him Wolverine? Oh, they give them all the X-Men powers, they sow his mouth shut, you fucking idiots.

Stupid and everybody, comic book fans were pissed about that. So they cut to this, they do, in 2011, they do a fucking insane trailer, insane trailer for Deadpool. It's on the internet, they released it this year at Comic Con. They, they, this was day 11. This was then then, they leaked it out.

It is fucking insane. He's hilarious. He's fucking awesome. Ryan Reynolds, if this, and they didn't want to release an R-rated comic book because. But you can't watch it. You like kids can watch. Yeah, and so, and so, they didn't think they make money off of it. Fuck not watching it.

They were like, we're not gonna make money off of it because you need the kids. Then they made kick-ass. When kick-ass fucking, and I called it on a whole day, by the way. Was that an R? Of course was. A little real called them cunts. I saw that trailer, I was like, hey cunts,

you ready to die, you know, something or whatever it is. That movie, when that movie, so they got the director of kickass to direct this. And the trailers on YouTube, it's fucking great, man. You guys wanna say it? Sure. Yeah, come over here. We can't spin this around yet, so.

Yeah, pop over here, check it out. During the show, we're gonna pause for a little more. Yeah, you can check it out. No, I'll talk to Mike while we're doing it. It's a great trail. It was scary because is it the volume up? No, do you have volume? Yeah, it said leak test footage just the work That's it. Can you hear it? It's low. It's low, right? It's high. Yeah, what about on here? Okay, if you're listening to this, oh anyways, yeah, it starts out, Deadpool's just kind of fucking sitting up there with his samurai, double

samurai swords and his awesome fucking skin tight rhyme, Reddell. Look at his shoulders. Gorgeous. I think that's all CGI, man. I think it's like, it gets to a point when... I don't give a shit. Oh, it looks great. My environmental just started.

Oh, he's great. So then he literally just says some fucking funny shit and then just walks off Just walks off a fucking Interstate Lands inside of the bad guys car And then start speaking Spanish No, this isn't in the movie this is not in the movie This is the this is the test footage for a trailer.

To see if people, look at that. Oh, oh, fucking, they run over a guy. Fucking, that's great. Oh, yeah, he fucking just snaps the guys. Neck, this is just a crazy trailer. It's great. But that's his thing. When he murders somebody, he fucking murders them.

Yeah. He is an assassin. He's a fucking social guy. He's the one that's in the trailer. Yeah, Iron Man murders somebody, he fucking murders them. He is an assassin. He's a fucking social guy. He's the capitating in the trailer. Yeah, Iron Man, yeah, he'll fucking hit somebody with his beam, but you don't see him over the hole in him. You know what I mean? You just need him fly away.

Look at that. Oh, it's great. It's fucking great. It's the greatest trailer ever. So that's why they didn't want to make it. Well, I think when Marvel did guard into the galaxy, now they're just like, oh, we can do pretty much anything. And this is then, if the movie's anything like this trailer, it's gonna be hit.

Oh my God. It's gonna change the game. It's gonna change the game. It's gonna change the game. It's really good in it too, because he has that. He's perfect. He's toned to it. He is perfect for it.

Ryan Reynolds is, and here's this thing, it's be perfect for his career, because he fucked up with Green Lantern. Oh, I was so disappointed, dude. Oh, that was the thing. It's be perfect for his career because he fucked up with green lantern Oh, I was so disappointed dude. Oh, that was the worst it tough. Oh listen man You can't you know the Guardians of the galaxy did it right they really they made what what you know when Marvel does Awesome they take great actors. I mean fucking some of our greatest actors and they put them in these scenarios and they make it not a comic book action movie, they make it a drama. It's more of a drama. The way it pulls you in like a Harrison Ford movie type of thing or a born identity and they

have that, you know, with comedy. So it's these layers of different genres together to make these fucking movies That's why Marvel does it good. These are you know DC or whatever they's these other even the fantastic for they make these fucking movies And it's just too outrageous. I can't just spend reality was actually early on they're getting better at doing it I'm getting better now because of Marvel. Yeah. Because of Iron Man. I mean, I'm so, I mean, I was a big ghost rider. I loved ghost rider.

And they just, they butchered. Terrible. But I don't know why you would pick Nicholas Cage for either one of those. There's a documentary coming out with Nicholas Cage who's supposed to be Superman. Oh, I heard a, It actually looked pretty fucking badass, and if they did it, I think he would have pulled it off.

Look at, I'm sick of fucking good-looking, trying to get that, you know, Christopher Reeves fucking with the curly curl in his- The curly, cute curl. You know what I mean? Nobody will believe in ordinary looking dudes, a superhero. It just, you gotta be good-looking, yeah.

But I do know you don't. Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think the Hulk looking dudes, a superhero. You gotta be good looking, yeah. But I do know you don't. Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think the Hulk is that good looking. I don't think, uh, yeah, but he's like an ancillary. He's not like a main superhero.

Don't have to use the word ancillary on here. Now I'm gonna have to scuffle fucking Google that and then text me what it means. He's a main superhero. He's like, hey, what are you doing on Jackie? Huh? What are you doing on this?

I did a small row cop. I did some, just a real couple scenes, you know, good stuff. It was great. They fucking treated me great though. I love when the, this is the greatest thing in New York is that when you go on a set, once you book a gig, the next set you go on, it's like, oh shit. It's the same people. Hey, what's up Bobby up Bobby and they know but they also know comedy to a

lot of these and the and the casting directors too is what leads I just I'm I'm doing a blacklist I got two episodes of blacklist on Monday and I'm doing the second season of power flower delivery guy. No, I'm doing a hitman. No shit. And I'm playing stick. And I'm, and I'm, and I'm some Owen. Finally, finally, I can see the Simone. Yeah. And yours crazy. I beat out a bunch of Polynesian dude. Like I fell back because it's just a was a shitload of Polynesian dudes and auditioning and I thought you'd do just flowers around the next Fucking hair ponytails and Hawaiian shirts. They got a shark fin fucking

Hate me. So a lot of shit is shooting in New York now. Oh Still a cup navy the Navy are both with Navy on and the Navy Yard, Brooklyn Navy Yard, and 106 in Park, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you been to the Navy? Is there anything in the Navy? There's like eight huge studios. It's like you could put a whole building in. You do not need to, if you're, it used to be, if you're a comic, you stand in New York,

if you're an actor, you go to LA. If you're a comic and an actor, you stay the fuck right here. There's so much good, and good shows. And Chelsea, Chelsea, great shows. Chelsea appears to be my favorite. Yeah, that's where and good Chelsea. Chelsea, good. Chelsea, great shows. Chelsea appears is my favorite. Yeah, that's where they shoot a lot of cop shows. A lot of all the long orders right now.

We shot two, two in there. The show I did with the Nero. That's what they shoot black lists out of there. But here's the thing, I know guys that are extras and they own their own cop uniform and they play cop. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they own their own cop uniform and they play cops. I mean, they own their fucking, I walked on set today and there's this really cool dude.

He was like, hey, Bobby, we did the two, two together. He was one of the background cops. Has he knew all my badges are your sergeant? I'm like, what? I don't even fucking, I don't know, I'm a sergeant. They made me a sergeant. I don't even fucking, you know what I'm saying? I'm just worried about not fucking up my lines. If you get a, you get your sad card.

Yeah. You can go to the place, there's a place on 23rd Street. Yeah. You can get all your stuff. But you got to show them a sad card. I'm not going to do that. I so I came out of the audition last week, you know, Bill Dawes. Yeah.

He comes out in a fucking cop uniform. And I literally laughed in his face. I was like, you fucking weirdo. I mean, I don't know. I do. He wears the car. I mean, you were telling me you were the outfit. Dude, you wear the outfit?

Absolutely. You are a fucking German. Yeah, okay. What outfit do you wear? Look at the IMDB player. Dude, I got one. Two motherfucking and I never wore an outfit. Let me tell you something.

I have a- Don't tell me, tell them. I have ain' I never wore an outfit. Let me tell them. Let me tell them. I have a, I have a bouncer outfit. I've got a bouncer in the... Yeah, it's called your job outfit. It's called what you wear to make money. I got the museum security. Yeah, that's your other job. This is the black suit.

I got these. Just telling me you clothes. Football fan, the football player. I got the orange jumpsuit. I don't. Hang on one second. I know you're in the bathroom. Use your phone.

Don't think I don't fucking know. Don't think the Nurbans doesn't know your tricks fucking pop. I know you went in there. Dude, wouldn't you take a shit? I took a piss. Now you didn't. Let me see your phone. Let me see you didn't. Let me see your phone. Let me see your text messages.

Let me see your text messages. I haven't even responded to it. I'm gonna fuck, I can tell the last time you used your phone. Look, I haven't responded to any of them. Look at that. I had sick of piss because I just did this bar show with this like, see look, I didn't even open them yet. All right, I got it.

I was just kidding. No, I had to piss because I just did this like bar show. Sometimes when you do those bars shows like with the yut with the new new guys Yeah, they're way too excited to have you on Way make it up. They make it uncomfortable like they make it like uncomfortable He had my face on the flyer Like three flyer people and they were, Yannis Papa, they just kept repeating Yannis Papa.

I'm making it uncomfortable, so I sit down. He's like, you want anything to drink? He puts on his car, he says the bartender. Anything this guy needs, put it on my tap. I'm like, I'm good. I go, maybe I just get, I get a water. I'll take a water. I'll take a water.

He leave the true story. Just happen. He leave, this way I have to take a piss about. He fucking leaves the place and buys one of those huge like two Leaders a smart water and he scratch off the price tag and he brought it back from like a fucking bodega and he Sit it down. I was like dude. I just I wanted a fucking thing He's like, yeah, I just want to give you a big water Here's the thing with the whole thing and I had to piss here's the thing with those things too is that these you know

I you know you go out there and you do these fucking things and then somebody else going to and I do a show too on fucking Thursdays Hey, I'm up in Pekipsy. I have a You feel guilty like a Crowd yeah He's a nice kid if he's listening to nice. He's a nice dude. He's actually pretty. He's old I get a great crowd. We get a great crowd. Hey guys check this out fan fantasy football. Are you guys? No? I don't do any of that man. It takes too much time. I got a net. So really I Don't do that shit.

Yeah, you like fantasy. I love it. I love it. I want to buy. I don't know like where should I do it? I'd say this Thank you Michael. That was perfect. Fantasy football is back and draft Kings dot com isn't messing around. DraftKings dot com is America's favorite one week fantasy football site where you could win enormous cash prizes every week. Look, you've already done the research for the players for just long your season long fantasy football team Turn that knowledge into instant cash draft kings calm This website is the place to go last year one player turned 11 bucks into 4,000 in one week Wow another one a hundred grand is first time ever playing wow another

grand is first time ever playing. Wow! Another player won a million bucks in one day just playing fantasy football. Keep your season long league where it is, but also play one week fantasy football at DraftKings.com to win huge cash this weekend. Okay, hurry, get free entry into the millionaire maker event where first place takes home a million bucks Head over to DraftKings.com now and enter promo code Kelly to play free to become a millionaire DraftKings.com bigger events bigger winning bigger millionaires enter Kelly for a free entry now at DraftKings.com DraftKings.com that's DraftKings.com. DraftKings.com, that's DraftKings.com.

DraftKings.com. Now you know, Mike. Well, you can go. You know, yeah. I'm gonna go to DraftKings.com and enter my cold Kelly, man, and get that freeness, man. Great.

I mean, look, if you are, I can't believe how big this fantasy football is. I mean, I did it for the first time this year with Ron and Fez, that suicide thing, you pick a thing and you pick it, of course I lost the first week. Just fucking what I should do in my career. But yeah it was fucking crazy. But yeah these guys went a lot of money and it's fucking, it's like, I feel like it's like the first video game almost like a board game for dudes Like I mean hockey yeah Yeah, you try to be dan soda

Why are you trying to do What was typing earlier? To B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- That sounds like you're a fucking blood pressure. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The belt that you should have brought to that audition. Here you go guys, I knew this would probably be a problem, so I brought my own. You know, I was on the 2-2, the prop guy hurt his back, putting my belt on the left. Pull the muscle in his back, and then the next time I put my belt on, there was two young prop guys. And one took one end and the other took the other and they tried to meet in the middle. Fucking asshole like that. You couldn't get skinny right now, right?

Like, it's part of your thing now. Like, if you got skinny, it would look weird. Like, it's part of your persona now. Oh, no, no, no, no. No? I think, no. You know, it's part of your... You look weird. You look like you suffer from AIDS or something if you got skinny.

Here? No. I mean, for a couple weeks. I always say, and It would just look weird. Yeah. Well, the, you know, the part on sex drugs and rock and roll, you know, the pilot was shooting. It's, I'm, I play a, you know, a chunky guy in the pilot, you know, I, I cast you as a chunky guy. I had, I wore a fucking, uh, type there. I, uh, first of all, I got you for your acting ability on that one. I don't like that. He, I don't like that he failed on the first one, but he kept going. I was trying to cut him off. I was too quick. I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went big. So, um, yeah, the first thing, the first thing, the first thing.

The first episode I had a girdle on. Like, as a gag, get it pulling. So, yeah, it's, it's, I, so I could lose, I could definitely lose weight. I'm gonna, I'm definitely gonna lose weight. I'm, I'm back on no sugar, no grains. Um, but how long have you been big? Like, how many years? Up and down?

No, like, yeah, like like I remember those old pictures of you when you had like a go-tay in a backwards can goal. And then there was like that phase of your life and then there's been like disfaces. Well I have that in my act. I've had six fats in my life. This is my six fat. It was my six month.

I'm probably gonna get, I'll probably in now because I change my diet and it's easy. It's getting easier for me. Like I went off my no sugar no grains last weekend and I went right back on it, like without even thinking about it. So it's becoming like my life now to not have sugar

in my coffee, not have sugar at all and not have carbs or corn or whatever the fuck it is. And it's like, I can go off it and come back. It's not like this addictive thing for some reason. My mentality, since I had the kid, and since my life has become more serious, has I've been able to just do things where I wouldn't be able to do them before.

If I fell off, I'd just give myself a week. And a week would turn into a month and a month would turn into Fucking you know two months. So it's getting try the Janus Papas diet. What's that called get a fucking shitty job in Miami I can be a man become a douche and helped Tony I figured it out man. It's very simple but very fucking simple But nobody if you commit to it, you'll drop 40 pounds. All you got to do is... I'm not swallowing my own gizz.

I'm not trying, first of all, fucking pass out, trying to blow myself in the shower. Let's go, what would you do that? No, absolutely not. Put my foot down. All you gotta do, all you gotta do is just water, just water, all I drink is water. I eat whatever I want for breakfast and lunch,

and I never eat after nine o'clock. So as the day goes on, I eat less. I do no sugar, no sugar drinks. Once in a while, in orange juice, freshly squeezed 100% never any added sugar, no sweets, no beer, and that's it, dude, I eat whatever the fuck I want. What? I eat big meals, I just don't eat after 9 o'clock.

It's the late night meals that fucking get you. I agree with you. Yeah. Listen, man, I will, I fucking think that you're on something there. Yeah, because when I happen to me, Mom, hmm. I, uh, I'm gonna look what happens to you. Dude, I dropped to, I dropped about 40 pounds, Bobby.

I know, you're fucking great. Thank you. You'll be back. Not going back. I listen to me listen to me you Greek motherfucker Your food is too good your mozuka in mozuka You're talking about Musaka Musaka Fuck that dish is a maze That dish is amazing It's so good

It's like a meat, little eggplant kind of concussions right? Yeah, it's a Greek lasagna I'm gonna say it's fucking that Well, pasticcio is more like the Greek but yes it's in the same vein Do you have to do the accent when you say the words? Pasticcio, you don't see me going to Cabanara. Musaka. Well, excuse me, can I get a duet? It's wrestle.

Well, you know what, it's my ethnicity. You want me to say it more more sweet. I'm a tie-in, but I fun going to give me an espresso and I'll take the Cabanara with the meta-netter sauce. But you're not Italian Italian. Yeah, yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, Robert Patrick Kelly. What do you think of that?

Yeah, but you're like boss and it's like you That means like you're like eight generations away Dude, I am like eight generations of dock workers and then you Lost your heritage a long time ago I lost my father a long time That's all these guys bitching about their dad dying. I'm my's alive and doesn't, I'm dead to him. It's worse. At least if my dad was dead, I could be like, it's not my fault. Well, they're both not ideal.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Um. I mean, if I get out of my choice, I'd pick neither, but. I think you're right. I think, I think when you can stop, anytime I've not. I'm telling you, not eating that after a certain amount of night And went to bed the hard part is this is the hard part is that number one

We can I can afford to eat I can have food in the house now when I was younger when I lived alone I didn't have shit. I didn't go shopping. I ate as I needed it during the day And then when I got home late at night, there was no fucking food there. But, you know, now I live at a house with a stock fridge. I have cabinets. I can, you know, and I get home late. And it's like, it's too easy to fucking go and, oh, she cooked fucking steak or there's some leftover. It's the business way into it.

It's hard. That's what makes it hard. But you think about it, you're eating and then all you do is go to sleep, that fucking goes right on you. You don't burn those calories. That's how sumo wrestlers get their weight. Yeah, they do like a fish soup. Dude, you can eat that.

Dude, you go in with a fucking grass skirt to put your rolls of fucking... Ah! I had a Hawaiian shirt. I did a Hawaiian shirt and some shorts. I just had a Hawaiian shirt. Just fried rice with a moco-local on top. Fucking method-tugged.

So, and I had a belt that's fucking funny. Oh, great. And one belt that fit. No, it's good. Yeah, he did it. He had it, you brought your belt with you? Yeah. Next time I don't bring the belt,

just bring a rope and be like, you guys figured out. You're gonna butt with you. Yeah Next time don't bring the buttons to bring a rope and be like you guys figured out Just in case you guys don't have an extra extra extra extra extra extra large Yeah, I think you're right though. It's just hard to punchy court Fuck you that wasn't that It's a rope with some give the role I was trying to do the ropes name a good guy a little give on it I know what a fucking bungee I got it Why she's funny? I don't think it was black guy singing fucking funny

Wasn't that funny I was in that fight. What the fuck? Like I was thinking about it. That was a bunch of crap. It's about a bunch of crap. I'm a gay man. Oh, this one did you hear? Oh, I got his aggressive. I got him. It's all about hitting.

It's all about the fairy. It's all about the fairy. Oh. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I, I, I, I, it's hard, man.

It's really hard. But anytime I've not eaten it, like if I go home tonight, I, I, if I went home tonight and didn't eat, I would feel better. I wouldn't have heartburn. You should be done by now. You should not eat anymore. I know. I didn't eat fucking dinner.

I know. I know. I didn't need fucking dinner. I know, but you don't need it. You only need 2000 calories a day. I know. I don't need it. But I did that. It's all you need. I didn't have it when I was a kid. And that's what I needed. That's another thing I do is I guesstimate sort of the calories.

I'm like, you know, I had a burger for lunch. So like if I had a burger for lunch, you just got to give yourself a few rules and you'd be surprised, man. And it's the fucking sugar. I know I quit sugar. I quit sugar. I don't have sugar. We went up to Patsy's when we go Tuesday. Tuesday. What's Patsy's pizza? Some of the best. New York shit you wouldn't get it. Rick oven. I understand what real pizza is. Rick oven. What Boston doesn't have pizza? No. He's got like fucking fried. Facing cheese grill. Yeah, look his side of race is growing

Wonder why we're so racist fucking country Fuck is right. We leave us alone Hey, would you go to a yanky game today? Miss corporate y'all know I love the red socks. I love the I love the rival I love the red socks. I love the I love the rivalry I'm Multi-cultivation It comes back to competition. He's got to get his fucking New York back from my fucking high

We went up to one-eighteenth and second up in the original Patsy Oh, one-eighteenth up in in in in in in hall. Okay. Yeah And it's the original it's like the original Patsy in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in You know, yeah little bits of Italian still left. So so up there is an Italian neighborhood in the middle of Black. Yeah, well, I mean, it's like a block. There's no black neighbors anymore. So it's now they call that spah-ha So it's Spanish all Spanish. Oh, I don't know. It's really nice The whole food for a really but railed on 97th and Lex. Oh, yeah Well, yeah, but you I don't know if you ever heard of rails. You don't know what rails is right. Rails is an Italian restaurant was like, my I know that place.

That's you can't get in there. Yeah, you need to that's where Mike D'Saffano used to go. Yes, people own the tables. They actually like eight people own the tables. What? Yeah, they like eight people own the eight tables and then they give them out to their friends You can't order you just they have like a Seven-course meal you just go there and whatever their course. We can never go there. No, unless we know somebody

I could I could get it in you can yeah, like by force I'm gonna eat meatballs in the run force Me balls in the run I You pocket People Impression Impression him

Impression other people do of you. That's all it is You know what dude Do grab some meatballs Bobby I'm gonna put the design in my front chest We went up to me and him eating fucking a rarotracted. Look right. No, it's not good, don't they? No, I got the mom after me. And I just did a meatball that came out of your fucking groin.

It's just not good. I know people. Fucking do the chef snuck you in the back Patsy's I when the honest comes we go eat places. Yeah, I'm glad that we're friends like that Fucking invite me over I love to be a flannel watch you two boys going somewhere Bring us a pizzas and back up and hold your kids Bring us a pizzas and back up and hold your kids. We went out, we went out, we went out. Make some room, it'd be like when they make room for break dancers.

We got to put it in the closet. We're going to take our own tables. Take your tables. No, we come with coming our own table. Let it work. We're going to pour it in the floor. Just putting anybody back down. It forms a circle like that.

Starts to clap in a wide. Bring my own fork and knife out. My chair has a belt holder. The forms of circle like that My chair has a belt holder Pizza was dynamite though, right? I was I had never been up there, so I was glad to go up really He but he he made me tap out dude. He did. I'm a bad. I'm a big eater. I can fucking out a big eater. I can out eat you You probably That's why remember I was fat dude. I do I was looking at your face with my frame like this is I was an athletic do I play basketball? I was two 25 I was five and a half six two twenty I was an athlete do I play basketball I was 225 I was 5.5 and a half six 225 I was a fat piece of can I ask you a question?

Yeah, now what about you Mauricia? She just looks more in shape now You got to that's sad just got a little bit Trim on the same that's I went on the South Beach die Now I'm still in the trim I cut out tropical fantasy. That's funny, I gotta bring that to the stage. No more tropical fantasies or shit. I'm drinking spring water.

Just drink no more tropical fantasy. No more coconut cookies. No quarter waters. She got sticks. I just take this Puerto Rico. She would take a walk to get those coconut cookies on the whole thing. Oh. It's a bit of shit. It's too de cues.

And Polo Trabacalis. Dude, I used to bring a coconut cookie. She'd be like, so happy that I brought a coconut cookie. That's good. There were like 25 cents for three fucking cookies with no expiration date on the fucking packet level. They weren't even real cookies. That's good, right?

It's the love of shit. She would eat those little. That's why I love in a bag of pork grind fat. I tell you, it's hard to fucking, oh, dude, you stop mentioning food. My grandmother's 90 second birthday is today actually. They're celebrating it Saturday. She's still alive?

Still alive. My grandfather died, he was 101. He died a couple of years ago. He lived 101. I got good genes on the side of the family. So I will go home tomorrow, Saturday, big party around 50 people at my grandmother's house. Well, we all are real family.

There's my real family. And, you know, so 20 years This is my real family of the kids. And, you know, so 20 years ago my grandfather used to make bread. It was just my grandfather's bread. He'd make it all the time, it'd be around the house, and he made it from scratch. So 20 years ago I said, listen, can you teach me how to make this? I want to not make your bread. So we sat down and we spent a few hours making bread, and he wrote it down on a piece

of paper. Just penciled this little scrap piece of paper, the ingredients and how long and whatever, real simple. My wife found that piece of paper 20 years later. She found it in a cookbook. So last night, me and my wife made my grandfather's bread. I spent all, and I was up to two in the morning making this fucking crazy bread, and I'm gonna give it to my grandmother. My own good fucking story. It's beautiful. Jesus Christ.

Nobody in the family has had this bread in 15 years. You stop making it at a certain point. God, we just went from joking around to one of the most thoughtful stories ever. So, that's pretty, that fucking reason, no you, what about more reason? That guy really tried to fucking fantasy. Joking around to like one of the most thoughtful stories ever I know you what about more reason that got really tough on fantasy listen guys Uh, I have my granddad's bread. I want to found the recipe me I'm gonna actually bring this to my grandmother. It's funny though that I so she'll and remember cry So so my but it's funny because my I took a picture of the four loaves and I showed it

I sent it to my mother who showed it to my uncle and my uncle and that's Papa's bread like He knew it right away everybody knows that it's his bread. Did you take a little taste? I didn't know that's the thing It's like I'm on no bread. I've been I'm back on it. Oh boy. You could have made an exception Yeah, pop pop red. I mean fucking talking about that I'm talking about that. That's right. That came out of the gray It's like dead you better. Okay, hang here. Here's your thing hang on a second. That's all I was looking for Thank you. I need a whole loaf today. You can you can you can make it that whole story was about you You can get a green light that you'll get red He got seven men with seven, you get a green light, the gilky bread.

Do you know what that is? It was a sin bread. I'll tell you though, here's the thing, making this bread, I forgot how manly baking is. Like baking bread is, I don't know why to me. It's a fucking man, to your hands and the flour and the kneading and the, and the patience you have to cook in general.

Cooking is but making bread, when you have to deal with dough and you have to deal with its chemistry for Christ's and ingredients and certain measures and there's a patience to it and letting it rise and pushing it and it reminded me of like wow like this is some manly making bread with some manly shit it sounded weird and and then I had these four loaves. It was so fucking old school the way people used. And I think for me to be able to have that knowledge in my head, to pass that on to my kid is to be able to make to be able to make bread is to be able to fucking survive. He'll be able to get a lot of pussy with imagine that making bread. Oh my god

Make some bread for a bitch right now Man, no bitch sit down sit down bitch. Bitch. Take me. I'm gonna make some bread bitch. Sit down bitch Sit down. I'm gonna make some bread bitch. Me follow my sleeves a little bit Watch me make me make me yeah, I needed that eat it what when she eats it Oh my god It was so good You better not have used like this in your pussy I'm telling you I've got that white shit around my dick again

I'm gonna be fucking slapped in the back of the head Did you make wine too? Did you do wine? He was Irish Let me see if he did. Are you prepared, like your grandmother is all there? Yeah, she's there. I wouldn't say so.

My grandfather was 101 was all there until a couple weeks before he passed away. Are you prepared for the emotion that this could? Yes. My grandmother could life fucking lose it. I think it's gonna be emotional with all my my my grandfather started having kids This is like the notebook the bread version my grandfather My notebook to my grandpa the baker my grandfather started having kids

When he was 40 and he had eight kids five boys and three girls I Think to them and they were very, 13 of us lived in this house, okay? And they all grew up together, and we're still a tight, tight family. I think I'm hoping that, like my uncle, oh, that's Papa's bread. First of all, I hope it's good. I haven't even tried it.

I don't know what the fuck it's got to say, so. And then my manager's CERPICO, Jim CERPICO goes, dead, when's the party? He goes, I go, Saturday he goes, that's not gonna be good. Yeah, it's gonna go this day, I'm gonna make it a day. You have your fresh bread, I go, oh shit.

So this is what you're gonna do, go home and eat that bread. Make sure you're talking for a low-long sandwich is tonight with some provolone, so. Oh, it's the crusty bread on the outside. Oh, that's cool. So when you make the toast and you butter it, oh, you make the toast and you butter it oh You make the BLT Yeah, he'd up a little bit. Put a little slum

I stop Now see I'm hungry This is why you go you got cookie sandwich. I'm gonna call you too fast Because you got me on this doughnut tonight and now you got me fucking Matty's pizza and making the night-scream sandwich with my Papa's bread. I just wanted to say cookie sandwich.

I love, I love Papa Patsy's pizza. When you wanna go, let's go. We're going to, we're going to a couple of months. Right now, I'm not going to a bread. But here's the thing, I love that this is fucking fascinating to me and I love how guys think. I'm like, I love that I know how going over it. But here's the thing I love that this is this is fucking fascinating to me And I love how guys think I I'm like I love that I know how to make bread I know you guys like you how much pussy you can get You guys really did think of that you converted that you converted you said I can get dude

Making pasta dinners I could get pussy you know what I get with bread fucking You sit her down you throw on like a little music and then you go put on one of bread making shirts Oh, I'm like the v-neck cut. You see she sees the she sees the powder on your arms shit. Yeah, she's you pounding now I think you get a little powder on the nose. She let me get that Chicks with lose it if you make You got a bread making area in your house? That's area of shit. That's the way I make my bread. A brick, a bread oven, right there in the kitchen.

A bread oven is just an oven. Yeah, but you tell her. Yeah, but you tell her that bread oven. That's a bread oven. Sweetie, can you put that in the bread oven for me? Sweetie, sweet. And then you give it a story. Oh God! You give it a story like I'm sorry, so you can't go near that

Me my family for generations we've been With the L would family that's my grandfather Story with it yeah, it all work for me if I didn't have what it is, it's called the fucking Mrs. Kelly. Logging me down. I'm sitting, this is this true story. We're sitting there, she had the piece of paper with literally, it just stains on it

from the day we made the bread 20 years ago, when water and yeast, whatever the fuck got on it. And it's kind of faded in his handwriting with pencil. Very simple. And then there's another three-page thing written in my grandmother's cursive, the, you know, the Catholic girl perfect cursive, three pages of how to make the bread too. I guess she wrote it down for me too. But how do, how you go about doing it?

Here's my grandfather's version. Right, and here's my grandma's version. And they're different. Okay, hers. So my wife's like, well, you know, maybe on this version, I go, we're making my grandfather's bread. This, I made this, this is my grandfather's bread. That's my grandmother's version of my grandfather's bread.

This is my, she's like, I know, but this says, I go, done. Do you, you don't think they had this fight 50 years ago? It's not fucking happening. She didn't win back then. You know, we're in now. Or maybe in my fucking grip by this breath. Oh, that's great. That's great.

Fucking asshole. But what about honey? Fuck yeah, honey. This fucking evaporated milk and that's it. You want to make your bread? You make your bread. I'm making my bread. Wait, hers had honey in it though. We made that the second batch. You make going stuff.

Cause that could be good with little honey in it. It was so hard not to fuck dude. You know nostalgic wise and hungry wise and fat dude wise. Dude, I wanted to take a nice bread knife and slice into that. I had turkey and cheese, I had mayonnaise and tomatoes. No, no, no, no, go get some salami. Salami. Salami.

Salami. Salami would like, yeah, like salami. Salami. I had maybe some sharp cheddar. I had some age sharp cheddar. How's it love that? I love that bread salon How great is bread? Oh bread is so good. It's so magical. Yeah, you know prints. That's all eats his bread

Is it really? Sounds great, right? Unbelievable. I can't I can't that's why my diet is best because you there's no way you should be able to like be That extreme you should be able to, like, be that extreme. You should be able to have those things. You just give yourself a couple of rules and don't eat late, man. I'm telling you. But I'm saying you need to look a little big.

It would be weird if you were way smarter. Well, to bring it all the way back to where you're insulting me again. And a weird fucking complimentary way. No, you're fucking stuff. So people look good, heavy. You look good, heavy. Listen, I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to lose weight.

I just want you to be healthy. I'm telling you why I'm gonna lose weight And this is why for the last year I've been doing this no sugar no grants and I did lose 40 something pounds I put 10 of it back on and I'm taking it off right now. I need to get it off For my knees my joint and felt for the wardrobe I Don't give a like you know I was talking to my therapist about this and it was like a year ago I was going back and forth, he goes, why don't you just accept yourself as what you are right now and just try to stop looking at your horses. You're still looking at the horses.

What's the board? His wish board. I got a board. I got a board. You know, you wish board. So Tony Robbins. What the fuck is a Wichre board? You know the power of positive thinking of all this horse shit power of positive thinking Well, no, I just accept myself look. This is where I'm at I don't like I don't feel fucked up at a Festivals or a shows and when I show up anymore. this is me, this is where I'm at.

And, you know, I'm going to get thin again for what I want to do, but I'm not killing myself to do it so I can get these accolades from people. Hey, my God, you look, because those accolades, because there's going to be a point where those go away. And you're going to be like, well, that? And those accolades turning to, you're like, oh, you said, hey, that, that, that, I mean, that it's,

you know, that, that thing about the accolades, it's like a, the door swings both ways. Whenever you validate yourself by what other people say, when they think you're shit, they can, they also have control over you. You take this and shit. I really, it is what I am. I've never been happier too.

And it's made it easier to not eat shitty all the time. I used to eat shitty because it's like, who gives a fuck? I'm fat anyways. People think I'm like, myself a steamer get fucked up. I am what I am. It doesn't matter. I'm a double X. I'm a fucking 38 gene fuck it.

You know what I mean? I remember when you were pumping iron we was living them we went to the gym a couple times. Jesus do I remember I went to gym with this fucking guy with nine other bouncers. So all these guys who have prison bodies they're just they're lifting like nine thousand pounds but there's not one ad between them. When you guys walked in you guys look like you got the same mother and different fathers. Mom said call you. Yeah. Call him.

Mom said you don't call him. That's thanks to one black dude. Mom said call him. You don't have a caller. I call her. You don't call him enough. You guys can be half brothers. That's because your dad threatened her last time, okay?

It's love. It's love. It's love, Bobby. Mine dad loved. Mine dad baked a bread. Fuck your dad, Bobby. Mine, dad love. Mine, dad baked a bread. Fuck your dad, Bob. Um, why did you turn white?

Why are you fucking white? Fuck your dad, Bob. I, um, you know, like I look at you, my girl. I've just thinned your whole life, right? Yeah. Yeah, fuck off. James. I guarantee.

And by the way way fucking amazing eyes Thank anyone's like what those like light brown. They're they're hava. They're crazy. Do here's a deal with you, okay? motherfucker What the fuck cat me and you are friends? You know this fuck. I know I do know yeah, but you got to take a second to appreciate how unique those eyes are Thank you. I think I think you can make bread with those eyes. I mean Second appreciate how unique those eyes are. If you can make bread with those eyes. I mean, you got nice eyes.

They're brown eyes. They're brown eyes on a brown dude. If you told me he was a vampire, I would believe it with those eyes. That's how dope his eyes were. I'd be like, yeah, I believe it. Like a van, like from the strain. Yeah. Look at them shit.

Bobby, can you not see? First of all? I'm not gonna look at them shit I'm used to look at them shit I'm up if I look at you scared anyway get lost in the Let me see I want you to look into that camera right there powerful low into that camera. No, no that camera. I'm calling the fucking shots This fucking going no no

Fuck up get in that camera. It would have been a better shot. Do you have close really get it? It's not moving. It's a great shot. I know what the fuck look at them. Shits right there girls There's no gruss listen to this. It looks like it just a dude from Best Buy's eyes You have best by yeah know the keyboard's are over there. Yeah, I don't know dude. You have to I guess man. No, we don't have any I feel like six pluses. I don't know when we're getting them in. I've never like that shade of brown is rare. And what in people in what's like an Ohio? No, it's usually dark brown or like another color. You

don't get like a fucking Like the twinkle brown like a twinkle Guys, this is the fucking stupid. I've never fucking never want to talk about his eyes again All right, listen, we're gonna wrap this up because I've just a fifth time fucking y'all that's looked at his watch I gotta go do set that's where Granger Village comedy club. What's it called? Yeah, you don't need to do that Okay, no you can be late for that

All right, you you fight this show is helping you Way more than that fucking spot. You're about to do it. Whatever club you're doing. I'm a man of my word I show I'm a man. Yeah, my word you're on my show You're doing man in my word. I show I'm a man. Yeah, my word you're on my show Self I gotta go do stop looking at your eye watch All right, listen guys. This has been a fantastic show I really appreciate you guys coming in on short notice. I'm leaving the Copenhagen on Thursday If you got to take off we're gonna keep going for a little bit. So yeah, that's what do you got man? I'm going to be at bananas. What's this air, next week, the weekend after this?

This Monday, right? No, next Monday. Next Monday. So this weekend, I'll be at bananas and then I will be at Gotham Comedy Club in November from the 20th, November 19th and 20th at Gotham Comedy Club. Thank you. You got it, buddy.

I'll see you later. Thanks for coming by, I love you. And, Janice is back, baby. Yeah, make sure you check them out of bananas. Bananas is a fucking great club. One of my favorite clubs, uh, in, in Jersey. It's, they fucking, they bring the, in this little small club, they bring the best acts ever. And also, um, uh, in, in Gotham comedy club too, which I, you know, I headline there when I'm in, um, when I'm in New York. But anyways, to bring it all full circle, I'm not getting the iPhone Plus,

which is actually, or the iPhone, the Lux, big. You said, say large. I didn't say large. I said you're gonna, I'm scumbo, I'm scumbo. Every time you say large,

I'm gonna fucking hit you right in the face. What is that? Uh, the stream. So the streamer. Is that Serpico is in there? Yeah. What do you say? You don't wear copy uniforms, but you eat nuts and auditions.

You know what that story is, right? Hello. This motherfucker, you know, before I knew, uh, Serp, yeah. They had, they had Project Green light for a leery, right? Remember that? Everybody was on that, Colin Patrice, everybody. Yeah. I go in, I audition.

I'm in this fucking acting class and this is why I don't bring basketballs in if I'm supposed to be a, this is why I don't wear a fucking copy uniform. This is why I don't fucking bring props in, okay? For this story right here, okay? I go in Jim Cerepricot, Tom Sletty, two of the biggest guys in the fucking business, okay, they're doing the thing with comics. I'm there, they bring me in. I did

the job. I was on one of the shuckles already, right? I go in and this fucking dummy said, you know, if you should always do a business, you know, have like a thing, like, choose some gum or eat some nuts, you know, have something to do with your hands and it makes you relax and it makes it more real. I went and bought a bag of nuts. Like, going to the audition, I started hucking nuts in my mouth. You got, you're ready? I go and I start, it's going to be amazing.

I'm chewing nuts. You can't even hear. It's going to fucking mouthful'm chewing nuts you can't even hear It's gonna fucking mouthful of nuts. I can't even speak my mouth is dry. I'm so with on this I'm supposed to be doing this character that I made and I finish Right now and it's like an improves you there's no end so I'm just keep going and I if I get fucking get these two Cons faces they look like the old guys in the muppets just staring down at me They were looking at me. I mean not even laughing. I think they I think sure but laugh once but at me not with me So then I'm pretty girl so then so I finish my little thing and it's dead silent for like three seconds. This is all you here

Hey, could you do it without the nuts? I was outside, dude. I was so unfortunate. I couldn't. Because I needed to do nothing. I go outside, I stepped on that bag of nuts. I was cursing this fucking acting. This is cock-sucker.

Fucking, I kept yelling nuts. I was thirsty, I had to go buy water. Unfucking believable. Well, I mean, there's a lot of shit we're gonna talk about tonight, but we didn't. I was gonna talk about the derosa stuff that happened with him and Ant, but we're already two hours in, you know.

I'll tell you this, it is what it is. The stuff that happened with people going to his album and leaving shitty reviews, that's horrible. Look, here's a deal. If you bought the album and you felt that way, okay, you're fine. But if you're just doing it, I don't think that's right.

Just sit on some money, stop that. Yeah, it's not, that's not because there's no, that's kind of false. You know, you're being what you're accusing that person to doing. You know what I mean? Fair enough. So, but anyways, I'm not gonna bring that.

But we'll talk about it next time on the show. We gotta wrap this up. Anything else you guys wanna bring up? Did I miss anything? Anything going on in the black community? Oh. That's my phone. You guys have my phone largest coming out.

Fuck. I'm sorry. It didn't hurt the way about it. What's going on? Anything? Read some of those. We're going to read some of your stuff off the board right now. God.

Uh, Deepo is here. Hey, what's up, dudes? He's campaigning, man. He's really going hard for that. He's going so hard. Deepo, you're so close. All right, here's the deal. You know what? I going hard for that. He's going so hard. People you're so close

All right, here's the deal. You know what? I was gonna announce I'm gonna tell you right now. You know Shannon. Yeah. Yes We all know Shannon. You know you're Shannon, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's not getting the job Where's Shannon's face sit? We are gonna grab it. Where's the mask? I go for you. I want you to wear it for a couple minutes. Yeah, she's gorgeous. I mean, look, I called it tonight on the phone. Holy shit. She is gorgeous. She is fucking smoking, but her voice is just as gorgeous as her body. So there's Shannon. That's as close as Shannon's gonna make.

I called her tonight, she works. She can't do the show until 5'30. So that's 6'30, you know, with traffic that's 7. That's prime time when comics are doing spots. I'm not, you know, I'm not changing my show. So she was close because she's great. She has her own podcast. She's cool, big fan, woman, big fan. What'd you say? She's really hot. I can't hear you. Super hot. She's really hot. Can you talk like her when

you have the mask on, please? Bobby is a bitch made up, it's too late. Let me hear you. Bobby, I can fucking be on the show. You can hear me. Oh my god. It's not like a fucking Michael Jackson. You know, you should fucking use nuts for the next audition. Fucking stink.

You've man nuts, too. You should put in your mouth. I talk to, then there's, you know, the other people, they were all great. They were all fucking awesome. But the thing we need for the show, tech stuff. We need tech stuff. We need social media stuff. You know, I love Danny.

It was great. Deepo's great. They're all great. But we got to pick one. And here it is. We're going to do it on a trial basis. We're going to do it for the next six months and that's it. We're going to turn everything over, you know, get let them come in. You're going to be on the show. We usually do it at Thursdays at three. Sometimes we do it Wednesdays at nine. It's very fluctuating. Is that a word? Not really, but not very flexible Yeah, you have to be flexible that award. Yeah, and I'm gonna pick the person right now. You ready? It's sporadic

maybe Are you ready? Yeah, it's not Shannon Damn it. You sure? Dude if she fucking quit her job on Tuesdays, I'd fucking have her in here, because she knows social media. That's very important to this. We need more people listening to the show, and we need more people on our Facebook and Twitter.

But we will have Shannon on as a guest, yes? Who's we? What the fuck is that? I'm here now, fuck that. Apparently you are the new intern. What the fuck is that? This motherfucker just shannin' back on, aren't we? I am gonna have Shannon on, apps of fucking Louie.

Shannon is coming back on the show. You know? Thank you so much, Bellamy. It's just such a great opportunity. All right, we are gonna pick the person who is gonna be the new intern. Well, let me get you plugs out first. Make sure we get all this. So what do you got?

Okay, comedy outliers this Saturday. If you're listening live, you can get the tickets at comedyoutliers.com, 22 Warnstreet, 7 Pams. It's gonna be a great show, a lot of great people on it. And if you're listening to this on the Monday, just go to comedyoutliers.com, get your tickets, follow me on Twitter at yo-might-grout. Yeah.

You hit me on that, right? Yeah, you did it. I'm gonna show you pictures of us at the show. I know, I remember. I did, but you hit me again and do it. Yeah, you wanna do it again? It's really good. Somebody hit me to do it again.

Probably, no, I think we're gonna hit you to do it again. Okay, cool. Yeah, we're working out. But yeah, check us out on Twitter at comedy outliers and at Yoh Mike Brown, shout out to Brad and Colin, Sponning Crime. Thank you. All right, what do you got, Dante?

Check me out on the Ryan Cass Network, son. You're the fucking hot, yeah, you're in, baby. I'm in, I'm in the family. I wanna say something right now, if you haven't heard his show yet, he's the newest show we added to the network. We're very choosy. It took a long time.

We talked about it. We don't just add shows. There's a lot of people who wanna be on this network. And we thought long and hard over the next shows that we're picking, and this show is one of them. You need to go and listen to a show. It's called the Bayes Phillips Show. Thanks, Bobby, I appreciate it. It's a fucking great show. Dante is a fucking hilarious man.

He's a philosopher. He's intelligent. He's smart. He's a fucking, he's a nirbinist. Nirbinist and nirbinist. I like that. Nirbinist. That works. It's an unbelievable show. It's the newest show on the Ryke cast network. It's called the Bayes Philip show go check it out subscribe review And spread the word of that show, okay? I also got a you know you can follow me on Twitter at Dante Nero also I'm gonna I'm getting ready to take the second season of power I got a couple episodes on that what's power power is on stars on Star's network. It's, see how I'm like,

we're on just to get that face. It's a beautiful face. You mean that face, like, you don't know? You're like, you crazy? It's like the New York version of the Waiya son. It's a son. It's a son. That's a great word.

Yeah. It's a large fucking power. Fuck you. I got, I got a couple episodes on that. And I got a couple episodes on Black and I got a couple episodes on blacklist Right come on did I'm filming next couple of weeks? With James Vader, huh? Yeah, yeah, thanks. So are you in some scenes with him? Yeah, that's great Yeah, playing a Samoan son

I'm gonna play a black dude it'd be cool though. I've never played a black dude I have never play a black dude it'd be cooler. I've never played a black dude. I have never played a black dude. You're too fucking too beige. Can I take that? Can I take Shannon's mask on? No. You can leave it on his face and fuck his face if you want. Thanks for having me, Bobby. I love you, man. I love you too, buddy. Thanks for coming in, you guys are awesome. And what do I got, Skopo? What do you got? I'm going to be with me.

With you? Yep. At comics at Foxwoods, that's the October 2nd, 3rd. Yeah. Second day, a second and third there. And then you're going to be at the Bremen, you'll be back already. Yeah. The ninth, you're going to be at the Seneca Fools, Seneca Sino and Niagara Fools.

Yes. The tenth, you're going to be at the Comedy Shop and has let me Jersey. Ten then 11th, at the Comedy Shop, and then 17th, 18th, and that's it, 17th, 18th, at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Yeah. All right, man. So, make sure you check my Robert Kelly live shows coming out. We're going to be switching up the website very soon

to adding some new stuff. The special news is happening soon. I'll be able to make an announcement about that. The special that me and Jim Serbiko did, he produced it, fucking, it came out awesome. It's unbelievable. And we got some great news about that, which I'm very very happy about and

And that's it scope. Oh, you're gonna be with me me and Lewis Jay Gomez and You guys are the best fans ever thank you for listening to the you know what to podcast and In turn, oh, yeah the the intern the new intern is man this is a hard decision oh man let me look into the camera the new intern for the YKWD show You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening.

Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shard. Shard. Shard.

Shining