Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Never, Ever Sunday

Episode Date: November 3, 2014

Robert is joined by Troy Quan, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be see. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. I was trying to keep it like a comic-can. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious.

Sometimes it's intense. It's Robert Kelly's. You know what? You know what? You know what? There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? Let it spin baby, let it spin. All right, yes. We are back Sunday afternoon football edition and FL real men Ha with a YKWD We're on Sunday, which we're never fucking on so there's probably like fucking three people listening to this right now I got a very High-falutant no, what's the word I'm looking for sexy? No, you're not sexy. There's one dude in here that's sexy

Here's a deal when he's not here We could do this game who's the sexiest when he steps in the room It just changes the game everybody's fucking normal. We're all on the same level and then there's him and if you don't know I'm talking about it's Troy quan everybody. It's what one's beautiful. Troy. It's not even beautiful It's perfect. He should have wings He should be able to go to heaven and hell like he should be able to go up and down god devil gosh me like that I'll buy you come up. Come on. Come on. What you are ignoring the deepu is a sexy man Thank you. He was a if you're into fucking homegrown terrorism If you're in to fucking homegrown terrorism, and who, it truly is a handsome handsome man.

We got Lewis J. Gomez, who used to be fucking handsome, and is on his way back. I'm very close, dude. You're close, but here's the thing. We know what's, we know what's coming back. And then stretch marks, you motherfucker. No, that's not what I was talking about. Oh, what?

No, dude, you look good, brother. You're really kicking it. Good for you, man. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Realized that I got this. I just don't want you. Can you stop taking Instagrams of your stomach and a mirror?

Awesome. Dude, first thing in the morning, great top light. Turn the fucking, turn the exposure and the shadows up to 70. I know, but I just, I still hate your fucking three-kid mom belly button you have. It's just mishie We have one of the funniest guys walking or the interest in in Astoria Joe list the audience in Astoria that's not a bad Yeah, I have four beverages right now Bobby well you you have to piss every eight minutes the whole show

Just go piss don't ask and don't raise your hand just go. I don't ask or raise my hand. You do ask. I raise do ask. You raise your hand a lot. Well, I have manners and I care. I will show. Joe, the truth list is here. We got the producer of the YKWD,

because that's what you really do now. You fucking put the whole show together. Yeah, I do. Chris Scopo, one dimpled Scopo, fucking boring fucking every breath you take Scopo. Hey man, how you doing? Listen, every time I call him, Scopo, what's up?

Nothing, what's up? Did you just wake up? No. He's playing a cool, you're his hero. I'm not a bro. First of all, he didn't even know where it was. When he got this job, he probably still doesn't, okay?

He just needs something to do other than fucking pick up checks for garbage. That's his job. So that wasn't really a joke, is it? That's very good. We got the fucking, I don't even know what I think the Wiz kid, I don't want common in turn. I say fucking, I put do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, the fucking motherfucker who revealed his true intentions last week by the way. Oh, yeah

What did I say he did come out with it? He came out. God what happened? Well, no, no, no Well, you know, he's he look at he's a fucking he's look at the whole games change the video is changed I had I mean all right you guys remember Kelly Yeah, I feel so better. I missed her funeral. I was on the road I was on the road. I was in Tacoma. But I was there in spirit. Here's a deal, Fistuga. She was here for three years. I mean, this kid steps in.

Not three years. Three years, two years, two years. Two years, yes. Okay, two years. She was here for two years. This kid steps in. She was doing comedy for three years. No, she's been here for eight years.

What? I know. No, he's not years. No, she's been a little comedy for eight No, he's not kidding. No, he's not I thought show is six weeks in I thought she was thinking about doing comedy in a couple months. That was mad about that So he comes in he fucking steps the fucking and this the whole game changes I mean he's got title cards. He's made a 3D spinning fucking Y K-Wide. Wait, I wanna see it, I haven't seen it. You'll see it at the end. Get out of town. I swear to God,

and don't even think of fucking taking them. You do nothing for the hammer fisting. Why not? Listen, listen. Listen, you do nothing for hammer fisting. Any other show you could do something for. What? But nothing for hammer fisting.

If I see a spinning bloody fist, I'm gonna fight you guys. So fuck you. You can do the spinning bloody fist, that's amazing. But I got in a ton of people because Skopo was guest co-hosting the Real S podcast. He sent him New York Labs. Which podcast is that?

The Real S podcast. What's the logo for that, your abs? In America. No, that's the Rattlesnake logo. You have a Rattlesnake logo? Haven't seen my Rattlesnake logo? No. Drone by one-houred porter. Drive's increasing. Not okay. Go ahead.

But I've read a lot of people saying that Scopo is Lewis Gomez will just take whatever you, he literally will just wait and he's like my dog when you're eating he's under your feet. He's dropped a piece of meat. Was that a macaroni? Just gone. Go ahead. He's under your feet. He's dropped a piece of meat. I was in a macaroni. Just gone. Go ahead. I've read a lot of people saying the scopo

should take the permanent place as the real-est coho to the real-est podcast. And that he's horrific on this show, but he really opens up when he's in the real-est podcast. Wow. Maybe I'll listen, just kidding. What do you have to say about that scop? What? Yeah, why are you still horrific? Why are you so, Horrific?

You remind me so much of the color man in Major League 2. Yeah, you got it. Out popped. Not the colored man, that's Wesley Snipes. No, it wasn't Wesley Snipes. No, what's his toes? Omar Epps. Omar Epps, yeah.

What a real, you lose the patent with the trade like that But why why why are you good on his show and you claim up on this show? What is it? No, what is it? Is it cuz you work on the show? It's cuz I'm always yeah I'm constantly trying to do something taking out. I'm taking pictures. I'm trying to think of names I mean you don't have to do that anymore. He's terrified of Bobby. I know what it is Bobby What there's funny people on this show so he's intimidated at last show You're right because there's not that many fun. There's nothing You know funny it's like doing a podcast with a guy in a bus Yeah, I'll take the bad yeah, okay

There you go. Yeah, there was no there was no aster to save you that time to fucking throw it like that your violent cunt Lucius of violent you What if you ever say when is anyone name once when anyone's ever seen me be violent once? I just a gym you a punch in that dummy and it's the hell out of me and you just threw a First of all you just threw the fucking bandana at my face at 900 miles an hour when you told the lady at Joker's wild to go fuck herself. Yeah, because you came over to you. Yeah. How about the guy? Remember the fuck was guy. Yeah, the Fox's what guy you gonna fucking murder you three things I said he hope you died a fucking heart. Oh, there was another guy too. It was a fat joke. He made against you

It was an asshole. That's not necessarily a fat joke He just might want you to die of heart disease. Yeah, he just he was trying to be funny. Oh, no, he wasn't there You were Be real. I still didn't admit it. I kind of was I take this P real ass dude in a minute. I kind of was I take this I think you should do his fucking show I think it'd be great. No, I'm inviting you. I'm just saying this that you're an asshole I think you should that to loosen up a little bit then you come on this show and you look But I think you're loosening up now that you don't I thought I was getting better. I guess here's a dish Give a segment. No, you can do whatever can. A segment. All right, shut up.

I'm going with you on this. Let's just repeat the second thing. I said, I'm listening. A segment. I know you're fucking sociopath. I think if you come up with anything, you can do it on the show. Anything you want, a segment, see, it was coming.

It was, scuffle, what would be your segment? I don't know, be sure those questions. That didn't work out too good Well, because you didn't really try him Well, I know it was I wanted more like questions about people's lives But then I think the questions about the show were better Mm-hmm. So I think we should do more questions about the show. Okay, we'll do whatever you want to do questions What about you? Why don't you do the news? Why don't you do scopos boring news? Oh, yeah, I got a question about the show

Why is scopo here? Um, well, they need people to help. Here's a thing. I need, here's a thing. I had Kelly and then Kelly had to leave and- That's the chick from Australia. Yeah, the girl over here. She came. Kind of heavy. Yep. Was is, will be again.

No, was bottom heavy, got top heavy. I really hope. Okay, good. Um, so I bottom heavy, got top heavy. I really hope. Okay, good. So I can't wait to get the emails for this show. Boo. Well, it's Sunday, you gotta let us work into it here. This is God's day. I'm just gonna read him like it's Halloween emails.

Boo. So that was a terrible joke, but it still made me laugh. I think it's the worst. You have a kid now. So you let's go trick a tree together. I'm not going to trick a tree in his neighborhood. You're going to have to walk up 90 flights just to get a fucking rejection. You have some pimple up in the door.

You're going to have to do it. I'm not bringing him up to my neighborhood on Halloween. Why? Because they're not going to open the door. I'm going to have to go. Lewis, can you go around the bushes? And the same the same way that I send you guys out to get a taxi and I hang back That's what Bobby's gonna have to do to get people open the door. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Yeah, with the Joe You just redid my joke, you know

Sunday We back in four minutes guys They're done. It's it's Sunday. I apologize. I know I usually take minutes guys. They're done. It's Sunday. I apologize. I know. It usually takes Sunday off. This is work. Yeah. What the fuck you mean? I don't know. Anyways.

Where you won, Dodd? Who? I'm curious. No, toy. Toyquan? Toyquan? Foggy, dude. Can we make YKWD toyquan dolls that we sell on the website?

Sexy dolls. Yeah, sexy dolls. You can rub them when you're posting your dick. My God. Troy, anyways, to you for real quick, I wanna, you have this thing that happened on ONA. You showed up today and I was like, oh my God, you had this amazing coat on. You're fucking sneakers will like holy shit.

Right, no. You're always at the top of the fashion fucking curve. You're always wearing cool shit, but now there's a whole new thing that happened on ONA. I showed up the other day and Opie's got a new shirt and Sam's got a new shirt. Couple new shirts. Couple new shirts happening because apparently

you're banging a girl. Yeah. I met this girl from Tinder and she is a stylist. Which should be unfair. You shouldn't be able to be on Tinder. Well, it's a Tinder is a crazy place. I've gone completely crazy. I tell me what Tinder is, please.

Tinder's basically you go on there and you just attach it to your Facebook. Okay. So you just look at people's pictures and you see how close they are to you. Okay, and then you can say, I like this person and if they like you back, then you can chat with them.

So basically, it'll just be me liking people and nobody liking me back in my area. I don't know, I don't know about that. I mean, they just be really big fat black chicks. They love the fuck out of you. But it's great, especially if you travel, if you go somewhere, I want to have to Los Angeles and you start swiping and you just find these girls. I know you I heard LA is crazy for tender

They love it out there. Same in New York. New York is crazy. Okay, so now the girl says you like her She likes you and then what then you you guys talk and where if I on the app you can chat Yeah, but here's what it does. It was gonna. Why do you know you don't fucking do it at all? But it's the idea of it. He sees me do it. It takes a lot of the bullshit out of it because you go, I'm here just to meet up and possibly go get drinks and hook up.

We'll see what happens. There's no like, there's no cre- there's not the creepiness of being on Facebook and just saying hi to a chick that you think is pretty on Facebook. Right. You both made a decision to be in that community for that reason.

Well, you like each other. Yes. So you're mutually attracted. You're basically attracted. Yeah. Well, Tinder is the closest to the way we community for that reason. Well, you like each other. Yes. So you're mutually attracted. You're basically attracted. The Tinder is the closest to the way we used to do it. You see a girl at a bar, and be like, that girl's hot, I'm gonna go talk to her. So Tinder, you swipe through, you're like,

I'm attracted to the girl. Yeah, but you have to actually know that she thinks you're hot too. But in home, that's a very good point though, because a lot of people look down on Tinder because they look at things like other dating sites, like their legitimate, like a match.com or whatever. But that is very true because in real life,

you don't know what people's turn on's and turn off saw or what their history is. I mean, you don't think it's a limiting some of the life aspect of meeting somebody. I mean, because you not knowing if the girl likes you back is part of the fucking hunt. It's part of the, so because your insecurities, your psychology,

what you say, what you do, the moves you make. And then, yeah, you don't know if she likes you until, you're gonna swipe her, you don't like to. Until she sucks your dick. Yeah, I'm gonna have a test with her. Or he, or? Tinder is the least of all of those, because like match.com, then you're going,

okay, I like this, I like that. Up, she doesn't like Led Zeppelin, fuck her, or whatever, so you're not really learning, I hate when you take the phone while I'm talking to you. I like that up. She doesn't like Led Zeppelin fuck her or whatever you're so you're not really learning I hate when you take the phone while I'm talking to you. I'm showing him to me. I don't blame him I'm listening to you. I know they're not they're not gonna come up with jokes here. You're the guy I talk to buddy I'm you don't come up with jokes That's just sucks. This is the mean thing to say on the Sabbath The Saturday's the Sabbath. to say on the Sabbath. I thought it was, the Saturday's the Sabbath.

The Saturday's the Sabbath. No, Saturday's the Sabbath for the Jews. Well, I'm Jewish. Now you're not, you're from Boston. Okay. There's a ton of Jews in Boston, right? I'm kidding. There's a Joe here at Dutton Brookline, Sharon.

The first Jewish girl I ever had sex with, and the first girl I ever put my sex girl, sex to, I just relaxed. I put a balloon on my ding ding, a real little balloon and it fell off in her vagina. Wow. Yeah, I'm not ahead of leave. I'm saying it. Please say it. Tinder is the closest to what you're talking about of the meeting. And actually because you're only going on looks, which is how it has been through time. It's actually cooler because, you know, if you go meet a girl to bar, you have to have game to approach them immediately

and know what to say and to keep that banter going to get them interested. Right. With Tinder, you can say something, they'll respond an hour later, you could respond a day later, you know, and think of something witty to say, or, you know, so it kinda like stretches things out.

And at a bar you have to focus on one girl now tender you could be talking to 20 different girls at one time okay but here's your thing now you meet a girl on tender she says yes you say yes you start talking look you're you're you're up on the upper west side I'm on the down on the low west side you want to meet that's not a no no low west side Nobody calls it that the low West side. No, the low West side. The low West side of the upper west side is the low West side of the upper West side. Technically yes. Yes. Technically. I'm being

fucking try Becca. I tried Becca. She dumped me and left me for another country. Hey. That wasn't bad. Now you meet her. you show up. There's a lot goes on beforehand. What? You have to do that. If the sort of establish, I like to see what they're there for. She wants to see pictures of his tattoos. Well, you don't mean because it's like, if a girl is there for a serious relationship,

that's not what I'm looking for. Right. So I'll kick it for a little bit. And some guys will be just straightforward and just be like, do you want to suck my deck? And that doesn't work. They're all saying, do you say? They're both jagomists.

Did you say some guys, they'll straight forward and just be like, do you want to suck my deck? And that doesn't work. I don't say, do you say Gomez? Did you say some guys will, they'll come, they'll be that meeting you, not the guys that you're looking for. Like you didn't see for any guys. Okay, good. That's what I'm, that's what I'm, well, you said some guys will be like, I just want to suck a dick and you're like, I do too. Some guys will say that to a girl.

But I understand that by the way, I completely understand it and that works. And I'll tell you why because all it is is you're playing numbers It's an old sales technique. Okay. Okay. Oh All right, what did you deliver? What did you sell like you went to fucking be you to study Yeah, so Jim membership First of all Jim memberships at a very prestigious Jim Coxucker. What's prestigious? Equinox that why it's not prestigious. Yeah, it is not it's the most prestigious gym. It is not it is not It is except for the crazy country clubs Well, yeah country clubs your fucking prestigious and the other what's that gay one the David something nope?

Equinox is way more prestigious. No, it is neither here nor there. I'm sorry This is neither here nor there you I'm sorry. You're never in the picture. This is neither here nor there. You're arguing. You're just like Slim Jim's. You're acting like asking a ton of girls to blow you in some sort of old business technique. I tell you why. Instead of you guys yelling at me and talking over me,

I explain to you why. Nobody's yelling at you by the way. It's not yelling at me. I'm not yelling at you either. Stop being aggressive. Nobody's talking over anybody right now. Stop being aggressive. Okay. So what's your sales technique?

This is the truth, okay? And this is the concept of every no get you closer to a yes. Okay? What you do is you figure out what the ratio is. Let's say one out of every thousand girls on Tinder, we'll just come over and suck your dick. Once you figure out that ratio, then you understand there's 999 no-sacethrew.

And that's a very positive thing. Do you embrace those noses? It's a part of the process of getting your dick So you could or you could just shave it down to go this girl's really fucking hot I'm gonna zoom in on this girl and I'm gonna put some attention I say play the numbers. Oh, so you're hot you have a hot guy with hot tattoos game. I have a guy Oh, he has Morning one day try colored dick

You're a asshole your way you have 999 women thinking you're a fucking animal who cares? And if you keep your numbers up someone's gonna come to a show and be like this is the fucking Puerto Rican pig that asked me to make you mother fuck I like I like Puerto Rican I like Puerto Rican Puerto Rican I'm excited about the podcast

All right, so listen who Sam Morrell put his Conan picture on Oh yeah, and he got he's got a ton ton of girls. Yeah, so here's a deal now I just up linking Sam a little bit. I go up. I go on I put my photo up right? Yeah, yeah Do I have to put like my my stats? They got to put hot bobby up though Not I mean no, I'm not putting no that's dude first of all I hate when clubs do that to me They'll get hot bobby photos and like you know There's probably some girls of people going, oh, who's that guy?

Oh, I remember him from tourgasm, he's coming. And then I show up at a monstage, you can literally see in their eyes, who's this guy? It's in my contract now, fat bobby photos go out. Even if I lose weight again, I'd rather have fat bobby photos up, pleasant and nice. And then I show up. Yeah, exactly, I show up, I'm fucking gorgeous.

But I put my fat Bobby photo links to your Facebook So I can't do that because if I'm a married guy no, that's the thing about tender that that's the kind of the loophole To keep people honest. I know so much about their relationship. You can't be on Tinder So if you're in a relationship, you can't be on Tinder You can I think you can Relative status. I mean, there's a lot of like, swingers and shit on Tinder too. Okay, is there? Yeah.

Oh no, no, no, I'm sorry. That's not what I was saying. I wasn't saying, you can't cheat on Tinder. Yeah. The same because you, it's a public thing. It's like, it's your Facebook shit. If you're in a relationship, they're going to see all your Facebook pictures.

They're going to know your profile. They're going to know your own name. No, they can't see my Facebook pictures. They can, they know your upload. They can upload four or Facebook pictures Four or five They know who you are they know your name after they you contact you only know their first I know the first even after you contact them. Oh shit. I'm getting on tender bitch What do you mean they are after the first one? What do you mean?

They always know your first name. They only know your first name. They don't know you last name But now if they're gonna take a break we'll be right back We're gonna go to dick suck on tender But why was just suck each other's dicks and pretend it's Tinder. Cut out the club. A chat. I'm not like you suck right on.

I'm not like you suck right there. Well, it's out there. All right, listen. So now you're on Tinder and you meet this girl. Well, yeah, I mean, you have to kick some game a little bit. It's not as easy as just, like I said, I suck my dick. I'm at the point where I just narrowed down to, you know, you kick it for a little bit and you say,

what do you hear for? What do you want to hear for? And then they'll say, I'm here to whatever, I'm here to see what I'm up. Can I be a girl? Sure. I'll be a hot chick. And we're having a chat.

Go ahead. So let's say the ding yes. So there's a match. Well, you've got to go ding yes, too. Ding yes. And then there's a match. Hey, it'll say, hey, how's it going? I'm good, how are you? Good, what are you up to today? I'm just hanging out. It's Sunday, you gotta go ding yes, too. Ding yes. And then there's a match. Hey, it'll say, hey, how's it going? I'm good, how are you? Good, what are you up to today?

I'm just hanging out. It's Sunday, you know, I was gonna go walk my dog and then maybe get a little food. What are you doing? Oh cool, I'm just hanging out. I just got some food as well. I might do a yoga class later. Oh, I love yoga.

Oh, do you? What kind of yoga do you do? Bikrams? Oh, that's great. Love Bikrams. I do Vinyasa. Oh, Vinyasa. What do you mean in to do that?

What do you do for work? What do I do for work? I work at a company up town called the Prostetics. Cool. I make Prostetics. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah, do you enjoy what you do? I love what I do. What do you do?

Oh, I work. I'm a DJ. What? Yeah. Where? All over the city. Oh my God, I knew it when I saw your photo. So what are you doing? You have DJ hair saw your photo. So what are you doing? You have DJ hair.

I do. So what are you doing on Tinder? I don't know, I just wanted to see what it was about. Oh, cool. Yeah, what are you doing on Tinder? I just got a relationship. Can I suck your dick? Yes.

I'd like to suck your dick. So then you say like, well, I'm here too. I'm just looking to have fun. I'm just having fun. Yeah, well, I'm looking to have fun too. Would you be interested in meeting up some time and have fun? I just looking to have fun. I'm just having fun. Yeah. I'm looking to have fun too. Would you be interested in meeting up some time and have fun? I want to have some fun and by fun I mean licking your asshole and sucking your cum. That sounds like a lot of fun. That's that but that's what fun to me and then eating a pizza. Yeah. And then crying in a

shower by myself. If that's cool. So that's how it works. So you just you know you I don't I don't go to the straightforward approach. I kind of ease into it a little bit. You take you take a little bit You're not a you're not a fucking and I'll I'll go days really yes I don't look for that instantaneous gratification Occasionally it has happened because yeah, I'm a guy that like where my balls are just falling on that moment I'm just like yeah, dude. I would just need to fucking whatever pig was ready to rock. I'd be like I'm tearing out I grab scopus phone more on the road to not just go yes to everybody is like to do what you do like not to go yes to everybody

where fox was in the pigs are coming up yes yes yes yes i'm like dude i don't want to these girls to come over and hang out with us this is very anti woman what's the chat oh what is this i don't know you know what sometimes i'm on a pig is fun yeah yeah guys you shouldn't be referring to these girls as pigs hang on one second Joe What's the chat room say someone in the chat room is saying that Troy quant has given free shirts to people for for eating his ass? Yes, is that true? I'm curious. All right. We're gonna first of all. I'm gonna get into that in a second

Here's a deal Joe. Yes, but when they say pig they're not saying all women are pigs No, cuz all women are unattractive women are Pig that's how it's saying there's no other saying because there's attracted women that are pigs It's like a guy can be a pig a pig is a someone who doesn't has no hang-up sexually in light so just suck it fuck like a pig Just I've dated a pig. Yes No, no, no, we that means a pig to we were just saying ugly people Yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, let's get to the bottom of this. I mean, I was just listen, I'm gonna get to that. I know why you hate to listen. You just you brought it up. Dude, you baited. I don't understand. You pulled up a stuka. You're freaking me out, dude. My ride some jokes. Are you really fucking going through a high time of your check? Yeah, you think

it's gonna fucking go away? No, okay dude. You want me to she can keep on burying her resentment? You don't bury resentments? You don't bury, you gotta let go of these atments. Oh, you wanna dig them out? Well, not one last then. Oh God, Jesus, those whizz. I don't have a good fun with the pig.

Can we just go on Tinder and get me a newbie? I don't, shut up. Oh God, anyways. Troy Cwan. So you meet this girl on Tinder and get me a newbie. I don't know. Shut up. Oh, God. Anyways, Troiquan. So you meet this girl on Tinder. She finds out you're a DJ. She finds out you're a producer. Yeah. And what happens?

This particular girl on the other one. Yes, the one that eats your asshole. Well, her name is Beatrice. First of all, Mom, Mom. You know, happy that would make me that she would have somebody like, they would camp there.

If I found out that Beatrice was eating Tric Juan's asshole for T-shirts, I would fucking, I would love it. I think it'd be a great thing. Like at the end of the day, in retrospect, I would have to kind of laugh. Like a couple of years from now. Yeah, but from the moment it would hurt.

I'm doing okay, by the way. Yeah, I'll buy someone T-shirts, they need T-shirts. Eat ass for fun, not for a t-shirt. Yeah, but what happens with all your friends? Okay, hang on, we're gonna get into this. So this girl's eating your asshole. Do you have a nice asshole? I do, I keep it clean.

I shave it. You look good, have a cleaner. Yeah, I bet you would have a clean asshole. I groom everything. If I shaved my asshole, it would look like I used a rusty razor because somebody bumps and nicks down there. Oh. New York nicks. New York nicks. I got it.

New York nicks. I got it. I'm doing this the rest of the show. Dirty. Like it looked like I know. You know why? Do you know why? Why? Because you've been fat and skinny so many times that the skin like an knee of an elephant has rubbed together so much, it just became something else. Also generally speaking Puerto Ricans are dirty people that are not mistaken.

I didn't say that. I read it on Wikipedia. I agree with it, I just didn't say it. It's that people just have brown assholes. I'm kidding. No, yeah, he's got a bread. He's got his assholes. It's not nice, dude.

It's terrible. And I read girls like my ass and God bless them. Those were pigs. Yeah, terrible. Terrible assholes. So anyways, you have a nice asshole. I try to keep it clean, so it's in that you've seen it. I don't really feel, you know, it's just, you know, I'm a guy.

Can we see it? I mean, I sure, I guess if you can see it. Can we see it right now? I'm not gonna. I'm nothing gay. I don't want to see his asshole. Okay, I'm just up to Troy. You're asking me, like, I have lock and key on Troy's asshole.

It's not my asshole. Troy, will you show him your asshole? I mean, me, us, the group. All right, just me. I even want. Guys,. Troy will you show him your ass all me us the great Give me a monocle it's not it's not the great of an asshole. I can you show him your asshole real quick No, you don't show all of us just show him Listen I The whole the everybody I don't we can't get it on camera though. I don't want to get listen I know you and Joe look at this anymore. I listen to somebody I you want to see it or not. I don't want to see it. I don't know that afternoon asshole I wanted fresh out of the shower duck. No look at him over you know the he show it before he came in

Nobody even walking a half a mile There's always a 10% chance that he's gonna get his asshole look that so listen to this personally wrote a bike here Okay, oh There's always a 10% chance that he's gonna get his asshole look that so listen There's a guy's first. We wrote a bike here, okay? Oh I don't know how to use bike asshole. I do I think I want to move on the What are we becoming here? Come on? We don't need to pull out assholes in this show. Do this on the real ass I so here's a deal we you just screw I would like to see it at some point you meter on Twitter and all of a sudden tender Tender whatever the fuck it is tender. Yeah, and she says I want to is this a quick one It's just like I want to fuck around. We meet up Tender, tender, whatever the fuck it is, tender. And she says, is this a quick one?

It's just like, I want to fuck around. We meet up, this is kind of like, yeah, we're gonna meet up to see if we connect, and then we're gonna hook up. And we end up, connect, this chick is awesome. Okay, yeah, it's really hot. Can I see a picture? Yeah.

Oh yes. Okay, so she's smoking hot then what? I love living my carelessly through my like, good looking friends in their lives like this. So we meet up and we hear this is. Let's just look at this picture real quick. But don't show it on the camera. Don't say anything.

No, no, I won't, obviously. No, I pass it around though so we can all see it. Now I want to be in a very Beth. Oh wait, I can't say at all what she looks like. Okay, I want. Oh yeah. Just look at the picture and pass it on Do you have anything else? Of course he does

Is that the new phone? It's a big phone. Oh my god. That's my aunt What the oh? I oh my god, okay What okay? Duke could could I possibly know her if I wanted to? Prought no, okay, no, okay, so she's not in our world. Okay, okay I possibly know her if I wanted to? Probably no. Okay. No. Okay, so she's not in our world at all.

Okay, okay. Okay, me sure. Okay, that'd be fucking great. I wish. That is something. Okay, so go ahead, so you meet her on Tinder. Yeah. And what a shout-out to you get hooked up with her.

So we're basically like, okay, if we meet, we'll go hook up. She's like, yeah, it's cool. So we click immediately. She's hysterical, she's funny. Right. She's, you know, great a conversation. So we go, we hook up. And it's a, it's a blast. Okay. So what she, she works in sort of the fashion industry. So she has access to a lot of clothing companies and whatnot. Right. So, um, she's like, oh, you know, she saw my, what I wear and she's like, can I get you some clothes? Would you, if I could pull some stuff?

Would you like it? I was like, yeah, get me whatever you want. So she got me a bunch of things. Oh, and by the way, I explained to her, she loves to massage after sex. What? So it's a massage you? Yes.

Anybody? So I was like, do you know what new rule is? And she's like, what's that? And I said, look it up. Do you know what new rule is? New rule massage? It's a noodle, right? No, that was the deepest brother.

It's when she massages you with your whole body. It's called, can I just say something? It's also called sliding. You always slide. When you look for it on Craigslist back in the day, if you typed in sliding, it'll be a woman that would come over and she would look like the sliders, the burgers. She would grease you up.

I thought it was funny. She liked it. She would grease you up. I thought it was funny. She liked it. She would grease you up and she rubbed your body on. Yes, that's what this is. So, yeah, I love that part. So this girl was like, oh cool, I'll get a new rubed bed. You can get a specific. That's what the picture I showed you.

That's a new rubed bed. Yeah, it looks like an inflatable mattress. So she was massaging me and getting me clothes. And then I went in and I showed Sam Roberts from the show. Right. And he was like, From the Bob and Sam show.

Yes. So I said, I got, look at these, look at this shirt I got. Look at these shoes I got. I'm like, isn't this great? She's like, oh, can she hook me up? Right. And I said, well, let me take a picture of you. And I took a picture of my center.

She's like, yeah, let me grab some shit. She got me a pile of shit for him. Right. Of clothes, t-shirts, jackets, sweaters. Yeah. And then it went on the air and then opian gym. We're like I want clothes. So I thought I said I need you to get me more clothes for these guys. And then I brought in clothes for them. And what where did the ass eating come in?

Well she really enjoys eating my ass. So she will eat, she will get them clothes as long as you let her eat your ass all. That is correct. Do you think we can do that now? Do you think we can do that now? Pop, we do that now. Eat my ass. No, I want to get the clothes.

Oh, no, no, no. First of all, I'm getting the clothes. Yeah, I'm, we, but you're gonna have to get two sets of every clothes and get them sewn together. So. I just don't care for insensitive jokes. Yeah, but he, this is what I, it bothers me. He's been fucking skinny for a month.

He was a fat fuck. Yeah, but I can't make fat jokes because now I'm getting in shape. So I can only make fat jokes when I'm fat. Fuck you, dude. Yeah, that's the rules. Yeah, you can't make fat jokes to me. I can't wait to get fat again. I hope one on one on one.

If I can't speak, but if I could speak. No, you can make fat jokes. I thought it was funny. Thanks. Um, so you take photos Could she get fat guy clothes? I can see I don't I'm not quite sure about it That's like the place is probably too hip. What do you mean? She so they don't make fat fashion? Well, it's well What mother fucka? Well some of those some of those companies. They don't they don't go into the what are you like a double X? I'm a double X Some time American not European sometimes they don't go that big who so different companies that's fucking racist man Well, well fat. That's not a race out of that's just fat. What fat. So yeah, if you get a

Dumbass a bad official fat. What did you say we both had terrible jokes? Well, what was yours though? I said if you'd get into a race you wouldn't be so fat. What was yours? That's it Obama's a fascist I didn't like either It's a Sunday show It's Sunday show the show they show stinks. Nobody's got it. Everybody's in fucking sleep mode People that were watching went back to the Chief's Rams game. I know. What is the chat room probably fucking booing us.

So you can't get me close. I can try. Can you take a photo of me? I can definitely do that. Now you meet this girl. Now if she heard about you being with other girls, would she be mad? Basically it's all sort of laid out, because I'm just emin to cutting the bullshit. So it's like, look, there's nothing exclusive. And then you go do what you have to do, I'll do what I have to do.

And if we hang out, we'll enjoy each other's company. That's great. Oh my God. This is a great life. I mean, you just, you really gotta spell it. It is, it's so much easier than guys make it out to be. You just have to spell it out. And you have to be willing to lose it.

Okay, so Sunday night, it's Sunday night. I'm single, okay. I get a- That's a relationship, I'm married, I'm twisted. I was gonna- So, I'm like, fuck, I got none to do. I go on Tinder. Right.

I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a bunch of chicks. Because you went to business school. And one like comes back, because that's the ratio. Mm. And then, then you gotta kick it. And then I say, look, what do you do? Let's fuck around, come to my house.

That may or may not work. So it's not every girl on there is fucking looking to bang. No, and a lot of most girls will say that they're not there to bang right off the bat. Right, so you have to slow-row this. Right. So if you want to get laid on Sunday, you have to start on Tuesday. Not necessarily.

If you say, hey, let's meet up at Grab a Drink. You seem really cool. Where are you at? Oh, cool. You're a couple bucks from me. Let's go grab a drink. And you meet up and you have a game. There's no reason that you can't close your nose.

Oh, there are fat girls on Tinder. Oh, my god, yeah. Is it mostly fat women? No. Not in New York City. It's actually a lot of good-looking women. I mean, New York City, It's actually a lot of good looking women. I mean New York City the ratio of Do looking girls to do older women do older women

Go on there another easier was age range. Oh, she you could cut it off at a certain range Oh, so like I could pick like 55 to 30 yeah, yeah, really and what I do you go like from 14 to 16 well, they started 18. Oh, okay Okay, so like sometimes it's not perfect So so sometimes for fun if you're if you're somewhere like say you're in like a London like wherever Denmark exactly and you're like I was in LA and I was you know talking a couple girls Yeah, there was a woman that I shit you know was 55 years old. Okay. And she was smoking hot for 55. Really? Yes.

Okay. And I was like, you know what? Why not? Right. And what'd you do? What do you think? I don't know. I'm not a sight-cater.

You're not a sight-cater. You're not a sight-cater. I'm not a sight-cater. And by this grandma. So you went over there and I'm going to eat your ass off. We went and had a drink. We had a drink. We're okay.

So that her bucket list. And then at the brown derby, she drank a little white. I used to come here with Frank. You remind me a lot of like. Do the Charleston. And what do you say we jump in my car and hit mall Holland Drive and look at the sun go up. Those are really old things. mall Holland drive is just pretty typical things. What do you say we look? What do you say we go to? In the sun.

Sun goes up every day. But that's a little fashion thing to do. I feel like a Sunday show joke. Yeah, maybe we'll go to the movies. This show sucks. Like a whole people driving an automobile. If you said stew to bake, or I would've let slide. So what else do you do to bake it by the way? It's a car. Okay. I saw it on the other day. Go ahead. Yeah. So you just

you meet her up and you go have some drinks and then does she whisper it like does she take her teeth out and whisper in your ear? Listen, I'm going to shock you, take in the bathroom. No, she was she basically knew what she was getting herself into when she did because she saw you you show show up you're an 11. You're almost fucking half male and female. I mean, everybody loves you. Everybody wants to fuck you, Troy. You must have been a real for this woman.

You are a hot guy. Yeah, you're smoking. And you're smoking. She was just, you know, like, oh, she used to be with the shater through a take-in as she had one of those voice noises. Did you fuck her through? No, I was. Just to try something different

So so you meet up with her and then after what does she say? Something like so you want to go back to my room because I was staying in Santa Monica. We were a bar near there Right and we went back we smoked a joint, right and then in a hostel you smoked a little I was in a nice I was in a nice hotel. He's not staying in hostels. I was kidding and She it was it was weird. And it was weird. It was definitely weird. Okay, well then she takes your fucking, she takes your clothes off.

Are you in the dark? Are you have a light on? No, there's some light on. But when the clothes come off, you're just kind of like, wow, this is an old lady. She's old, right? Her elbows, the back of her arms, the titties are like, they look weird

and she's got that like extra skin here. Yeah She has Louis stomach Louis has an in shape old ladies stomach I bet that she feels really good Farrah faucet stomach now I'll take that Wow, I fucking blow So I mean she was she shaving or she let it grow in because all women do that now

They just let it grow in no she was she was trim was it was it was it was it gray? And you know push. She must have been a little gray kids early real life. Yeah, yeah, it was weird because she had her kids up on her tender profile No, really some girls do have that I hate that We don't put those women girls usually. Yeah, that was a little weird. So I just don't know why you would try to hook up. Okay, so now she takes your pants off. She's got that little old lady fat Lewis stomach.

She's got a little saggy back of her arms. Her face is hot. Her face is small and hot. And she's in pretty good shape for being 55. She's 55. She's in good shape. But you know her post is going to be massive. You know, massive. Usually wasn't bad though. Was it wet? Was it really wet? Yes. It was sopping wet. She was excited. She was really excited because she's fucking a 10. And she knows she shouldn't be with you. And she said she'd never had done anything like this just hooked up like the... Yeah, sure. Of course. They all say that. Is she married and cheating on her husband?

No, she was married. Is he dead? No, he lives in some Parkinson's. Did he die of Parkinson's? He lived in Detroit or something. That's not funny. I think that has Parkinson's. It's hilarious.

It's hilarious. It doesn't matter. I don't care. What the fuck that means? Did you die with the Parkinson's? Yeah. Michael J. That's what your dad?

We talked about this already. Oh shit. I'm sorry. I didn't connect to it. Did you deserve it you deserve it do you think probably so Jesus Christ I'm kidding I know I have to say that so I don't go to hell I appreciate that I thought it was hilarious I wanted you to say again listen depo yeah chatroom uh tattoo mentor says list is saving this one ha ha ha ha ha i love you right back i love you he's fucking right ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

i hope you get a bowl of i love us it's not that's not not metal Fred says fat girls aren't on tinder they're on chindler chindler chindler chindler chindler chindler chindler that's you's yeah can you block him it should be chindler

i'm kidding i'm kidding don't do that what else we will lose a third of the chat if we Blancson that's Sunday deep booze on the board that's that's about it for right now just did infinitely better than scopo on this show I've heard the last episode are you kidding? I was good I got some singers anyway you did good you fucking hairy for our mother fuck I like that you think that we would listen to an episode that we weren't Sincere so now you're you with this old lady now the she's sucky dick Do you have to do you have to go down on that box? I did not go down Was there a moment where you were like a fuck?

You had to make that decision though When did you make that decision you weren't eating their pussy pretty much from from from the first time that matter So what he swiped right? Why do you say We swiped right. That's what you do on tenders. Okay, so when you so you knew you were needing to pussy. I'm not into that. You don't want it all pussy. Not her. Why not? I know. I'm not just not feeling it like it was big. Yeah, the chicks really hot and you're just you're way in you just want to eat or alive. Then I get it. How big was it? Her pussy looked all right. Yeah. Yeah. But it was.

It's just such a weird thing to sleep with somebody that's like, probably gone through menopause. Yeah. You know what I mean? She's getting hot cold flashes while she's fucking you know. She's probably right in the cusp I think. Yeah. So she blows you though.

Yeah. She sucks you did good. Yeah. Like she's experienced. So she hasn't done a lot of fucking in her life. So she's working it out now in her 50s Yeah, she probably fucked one guy for like 20 years. Yeah, okay, so now so Troy going now You're not gonna eat her pussy and she's sucking you dick you get on top and you stop blasting her

Missionary no condom no of course. I love no We don't like a dust on your dick Yeah, I don't know why you would fuck people from ten people don't like a dust on your dick. I don't know why you would fuck people from all bitch old people don't have I know a lot of them do now. Yeah, they created them. They're the ones who fucking these created the Now dude the old bitches have a lot of diseases my The nursing homes. Yeah, yeah, the nursing homes are riddled with herpes now. They're all fucking each other Yeah, they're there. Yeah, you gotta be careful with old bitches man Yeah, they're because old bitches gonna. You gotta be careful with all bitches, man. Yeah, because old bitches gonna say,

old bitches to my mother were from the fucking 30s. They were born in 1910, 1920, 1930s. That's when nobody was really fun. Old bitches to us were the 60s. That's hilarious. Old bitches now blew Led Zeppelin. Yeah, dude. They would just suck and dick in the field. You know what I mean?

Listen to Hendrix near a bomb fire So Dolby just for us will fucking just fucking herpe catches no offense job Thanks, I'll use it. Thanks right that down scope. Oh, I'm kidding dude. Oh, you're not my fucking personal assistant They're what's he doing here? He's getting down the word bit., he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,'re like, I fucked up. Well, there was a point, because I was really high for it. So there was a point where I was looking at her and just in the light, it kind of looked like my mom. Oh, did you get into that?

Did you get into that? No, not at all. Did you want to role play with her a little bit? No. Is that makes it better a little with older women? You want to, because I remember I had an older woman when I was back when I was like 24, 25. How much older? She was around back when I was like 24, 25. How much older?

She was around 40, and compared to, it was same thing. You know what I mean? It's a big jump from 40 to 55. You know what I mean? When a woman gets into her 50s, it's down, it's way down. Is it really? Like a 40 year old woman, 20 to 45, can still be holding it together.

When you hit 50 minutes, like hitting a wall. Unless you're like a special, special woman. Like you're a actress. Like you're like a perfect forever. You're a zombie. Vegan, yogi, you know what I mean? Like those women probably are pretty good shape in 65.

And this girl was in this woman, yeah, mother. She was, so did you make her come? Yeah. You did, you sure? Oh yeah, really. Yeah. She blew a nut. And did you blow a come? Yeah, you did, you sure? Oh yeah, really? She blew a nut. Yeah.

And did you blow a nut? Of course. Okay, now you blow the nut. She blew her nut. You're in your hotel room. How do you get this fuck it all brought out? What do you do? Do you offer some soup?

No, you just kind of go, you know, what I got to get up early? I got to get up early tomorrow. You know, I got to get a good night's time. What's going on? Early for her is like 5 a.m. Yeah, it's like 1.630 every day. I have to get up early too. I got get a good night. What's going on? Early for hers, like five a.m. Yeah, yeah. Way by 630 every day. I have to get up early too.

I gotta feed the birds, get the newspaper, and then I have a mac from a class at 635. That's probably like 1 a.m. Really? 1 a.m. and you send her on her way. Yeah. And what does she say? Do you have to kiss her at the door?

Ah, I just give her hugs. Can you smell that tooth in the back? The one that she hasn't had cleaned in a long time? She smelled clean. Yeah, yeah. The breath was good. Yeah, and then you don't want to leave on a bad note. You're like, hey, next to I'm in LA,

I'll give you a call and I'm like, I'm not giving this fucking moment of call. She's the big fan of the show. Depot, bring on Helga. That's crazy, man. Yeah, it fucking blows my mind. Could you just such a good looking guy. I feel like you're just walking to a bar and meet somebody.

But you're eliminating the time and the effort that it takes. But that's, can I tell you that's not even an effort? Please do. You have a microphone. I would like you to tell me. This is... Tell everybody. This is the time that we live in now.

Now, social media is very much integrated in every part of our life. It's starting to be integrated and even even the things that we buy, even the bank banking systems, everything is all fucking integrated. So it's not that we are the. If you use the word integrated integrated one more time, I'm going to. Integrated. I'm going to throw up on you integrated. E I T R.

God. Mom said, I know. I know. God. But no, I think it's like that's what people are doing now So it's almost become it's almost become weird if you're not on Tinder. Yeah, you know, I don't know I mean look I'm not on Tinder. I'm I'm married. I gotta What married? Yeah, but here's the thing when I used to Grass buddy when I used to fuck around you know, it was a chat room, like, or a, used to go into like Yahoo chat.

They had, you know, these categories and sub categories that you'd go into and you'd find these chat rooms and you'd go in and you'd fucking talk and then you'd, you'd, you'd, side chat somebody. You know what I mean? So you're in this chat room and then you private chat. And then you private chat and then you hopefully work something out. Yeah, and it was a

fucking nightmare. It took forever. You always assumed it was a dude on the other end. And you know if the pictures are legit. It never worked. It was just fucking awful. But now it's just with the phone. An app was the, I think the greatest thing ever invented. Apps. I mean, what? And you know, apps came from mozzarella sticks was the original one. I mean what you know apps came from mozzarella sticks was the original one Apps came from when Mac invented those fucking little pop ups. What are they called? One of those things called oh Oh, fried pickles icon. No, no, no, what. What are the things called? I'm not a Mack.

Anyway, you have. Deepo's 17 years old for God's sake. These things, Deepo. Icon. No. The sidebar? I don't know. I can't touch the computer.

Oh, they called dead heirs. No, that's true. Whatever. Somebody in the chat room. Fuckin' knows what they are. Someone in chat tell us. Yeah, someone in chat. Here's a deal. It's amazing that you can, because those. Someone in chat tell us. Yeah, someone in chat. Here's a deal.

It's amazing that you can, because apps are great because they're specific. It's not like the internet that you have to go find and go in and you can, this is what we want specifically and that's all this thing does. And it's in your fucking hand and it's 24 hours a day.

It's as fast as light. It's crazy. And you shave off so much time from this because, you know, you meet a girl at a bar or whatever and you say, hey, can I get your number? Yeah, you'd call her, maybe hang out a couple of times. Now, you just literally shave it down to, you are just, this is what I'm interested in, this is what you're interested in. Okay, let's do this.

But the thing that sucks it scares me is that it's hooked up to your Facebook. Now, if I went in, say I wanted to go in and be on Tinder, right? Yeah. It's hooked into your Facebook. Do I have to create a fake, fake book? No, Facebook. You could not make it connected to your Facebook, but Facebook. If I'm on Facebook and I see you as my friend, it won't say Bobby Kelly is on Tinder.

But here's what's gonna happen though, if any of your wife's friends are on Tinder and they swipe by you, they're gonna be on the fuck. Yeah, but if I do it on the show for shits and giggles, and I say, oh, they made it, we did this whole thing on Tinder and they swipe by you. You're gonna work with the fuck, fuck. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, but if I do it on the show for shits and giggles, and I say, yeah, they made it, we did this whole thing on Tinder today. And they made it. They made it. They made it fake.

They made it fake Tinder for me just to see what it's like. I don't know. Unless you're on the road, she's not fucking. And Toronto or Tacoma. I know. Buffalo. But I don't want to cheat on my wife.

Why not? We can not nudge. I research for the show, huh? Just research for the show. Believe me, dude, I'm not gonna fucking, here's a thing, to cheat on your wife, for me to go and do this right now. I hope she's sucking it right now. That is fucking outrageous. If we, if he wanted, his wife hates him,

my wife doesn't like him now. He wonders why he just fucking eliminates people out of his life He's a fucking animal. What are you gonna do fuck Puerto Rican take whatever you fucking joke about you are a picture of sucking Licking trick-quantass hall who did that nobody did that I didn't do that we ever Never do on today's show I'm back. I don't remember. I'm't remember I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, dude Bobby's wrong everyone just says that I remember I don't remember either. I don't know what you're talking about I missed it. Can you not announce it when he's funny every time well that's right? Way enough funny on the show He doesn't allow you to be

Yeah, I'm fucking it's way to the Kelly. I'm not he treat you what that's right. That's way that the Kelly I'm holding down Lewis every time so I'm funny you have to point it out It was funny the first time and I'm funny the second time. Yeah, I know that you do to people you fucking eliminate No, it does too wait someone slams him who's beneath him. Yeah, he goes That was the first time he ever made me laugh. Good job on that one. So he shits on you for getting slams. Yeah, listen, it's called being a sociopath.

Yeah, okay. If you look it up, there's a big article, I'll send you the article, this is his face. It's literally his bio. It's literally everything he does. That was Adderall actually, we found that out. We've realized podcasts. What do you mean?

I need Adderall. He is a attention deficit disorder. That's what you need more drugs in your life. Now, when are you going to get this Adderall? Scope will bring me more. Do you have Adderall? I have a prescription, but I don't take it every day. I take it. You need to get off it. You need to get on cocaine. You need to add something. All right. It wasn't that funny. Adderall. I suck. I don't want to fuck my life up. I'm, you know what? Fuck you. All right. Which'm you know what fuck you all right, but you serious I just don't like when I write or something when you concentrate

Well, I want can I have one? I want to try one. Yeah, I want to try was where you have money now. I don't have right now We're out. Oh, no, I don't want to give me one. Give me one. No, don't give it to you. What do you mean? Don't give it a Bobby? I'm not giving it to me. I'm not giving it to me. No, I'm not giving it to me. No, I'm not giving it a fucking fucking 38. I'm not giving that to him. Give me the name, you know. No, I see it. You don't need it because I will not be eating right now. I'm not gonna be part of this.

You're fucking making jokes about your girlfriend. You make a joke about his wife. You're doing drugs. Somebody made a Parkinson's joke about scope of his dad. I wasn't a joke. He really has Parkinson's. Yeah, he's gonna die. Oh.

Thanks for that joke. Well, my joke was that I was the one that made the joke you fucking num skulls All right, so I'm proud today so try it's dude. I'll never do it on Sunday again Sunday show We're never doing it on Sunday I apologize for the show, but I had to I'm You know doing the show. Yeah, that's what you're at. Which, I love my Tokyo fans. It is. It's terrible.

Why? There's gang signs and weird Chinese writing. It's Japanese writing. It says Japan on it. You fucking moke. It's the dreams. It's the dreams. It's the show.

There's a lot of points on that. It's Japanese. It's a Tokyo 5 hoodie. I love this hoodie. It's one of my favorite. I get many compliments on this hoodie. It's a home hoodie. It's a what a home hoodie. What does that mean? You wear it at home. I know. I just set you up for it. Oh, I'm on hearty Yeah, we uh, I'm very interested in this tender thing. I would love to uh, it's the greatest invention

I would love to Guys, here's what I'm people is you know, can I say something? I would love to do this for me just to, because look, I'm not at my best right now. And I would just like to see, see where you're at. I would love to see like this thing he was talking about, Lewis, it's kind of interesting when you do, let's play the, let's fuck with it. Let's play the, I wanna just fucking eat your pussy.

I just want my dick sucked, that's all I want. I want my dick sucked and that's it. And I don't want any fucking ties. And see how many women with a guy like me or say look it all play the long game You know, I just want to hang out or whatever and see what not that I want to hang out with these broads But like kind of fuck with a little bit and see how it is with a guy. I got like you dude It's why it's it's fucking unfair It's almost unfair because it's literally just You're good looking they're good looking. Oh, wow good looking people fucking fucking suck and who yeah no shit

Like shooting pigs in a barrel. Yeah, if you have if you have a little bit of game It doesn't matter. Yeah, but it would it would be funny to see if a guy like me if I put a full-body Photo of me with this what are you on don't please don't do and that But no pants that hoodie no you're a pan-body photo of me with this one you on. Don't, please don't do that. And that. But no pants, that hoodie, no pants. You have your panoramic photo. Look what's on it. They just came out with a new app coming out very shortly. Two new apps that are amazing.

Onion rings? No. No. Hi, chilly wings. That's why you're not funny. You got the laugh on the end of the room. You said two apps. All right, listen, here's a, yeah, but you got the lab on the first one dummy

One is you know they have Uber you car will pick you up They're gonna have one for parking where you can say look. There's no parking in New York I have to do a spot. I need somebody to sit in my car for an hour or two Oh, and just and just is there an app that shows someone steals the car No, there's a huge background check all these people go through. They'll, you got to give them enough time and be like, right, in a half hour, I need you in front of the comedy seller. They'll come down for five or ten bucks an hour, whatever it is. And they'll sit in your car and they'll wait.

And then when you come out, you pay them on the credit card and then they fucking leave. Did they look for spots? Huh? Did they look for parking spots? They'll drive around and look for shit if they can. If not, they'll just sit in your car somewhere and when you're ready you call them and they pull up and they get the fuck out and they leave and you just jump in. That sounds great but it's not nearly as good as fried calamari. And then the other app, where are you going? Oh, it's the other app. The other app is three 360 photos. So now you'll be able to take a picture of something and just kind of spin it around it and then hit the button and it will take a photo that you'll be able to spin and see 360 degrees around it.

That's fucking nuts. I thought that already exists. They had a vibrating thing on the phone that turned the phone? No, that was stupid. I mean, yeah, that was dumb, but that was kind of gimmicky and didn't work as well. This, you just put your hand around something. You know, you can put your hand around a chick's titty and spin around and see your whole fucking, like with that old broad, you can go around her vagina and we can see everything.

With your asshole, we always see like all the nooks and crannies in the fucking different, mainly crannies. Yeah, I know, it's like a fucking, when you cut a tree open, it just goes dark to light and stuff. Back to dark again, fucking dough mites scattering. Dough mites? Dough mites.

Oh, dough mites. But that's pretty fucking crazy, man. I mean, I just don't understand. I don't know. I know I would do it, because I'm a fucking creep. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. But it burns out. It works creep. Yeah, it's a lot of fun But it does it burns out That's a work to I see yours again

Can you open your why have you gotten anything off of it? I like I want a date with a boring check and that was it I got try to try to get a girl like it's a bunch time sure there's some girls right now in the village See if there's any girls that you can get she's smoking hot. Okay, where's where is she? I like this one too. I love a big nose on a girl 20 and she's near us right now. So now if you want to see more pictures of her. Yeah, okay, okay, it's wipe She got a whale tattoo on the back of her neck Really yeah, all right, so to why is that two photos are usually prostitutes for some reason is that true quan two two photos are usually prostitutes for some reason is that true quan

True quan what's at their prostitutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's What the fuck is that? So like they'll give it a hit you up to like hey if you want to hang out it's you know such and such money Well, they know that they know that there's guys on there looking to hook up So it's like they say 125 bucks for an hour and they say called the girlfriend experience They must unmatch me. Yeah, they don don't respond bad to them, they unmatched you. Really? So she was like, fuck you, I don't want nothing to do with you, Scopo.

All right, so this girl, we like her. Well, I like this girl. All right, let's see, she's only got one photo. So she prostitute. So I like her. I like her. They put a little two or three. Two or two is for prostitutes.

I'm gonna, even this chick is ugly, I liked her. This chick is ugly. I'm just liking ugly chicks. Yeah. That's the way to do it. Oh, I'm gonna like the girl from a walking dead. And then I like her with the samurai, so I had a BC with long hair. Ah, ha, ha.

What? That was a fucking 15 year old reference. You're fucking face. Aw, this one, Bobbi. You just did an aw's reference. Yeah, like face. Oh, this one, Bobby. You just did an Oz reference. Yeah, like that one. That's stupid, you like it, huh? Yeah, I like it.

Oh man, I kinda, I like it. She's so old or two. That's one great. She's 20, she's not 23, dude. She's way older than 23. Give it to Troy Clawne, he's the expert. You're not the expert. Why is Troy Clawne the expert?

Because he's way better looking than you. He's fucked more chicks than you. And he's... I guarantee Troy Kwame's not fucked more chicks than me. I guarantee he has. I guarantee he's not. I bet he's fucked more chicks and guys than you. Yeah.

No, I guarantee he's not. I bet you're gonna be 23. Troy Kwame, how many girls have you fucked? I don't know. Thousands, right? No, thousands. Thousands, come on. How many of you fucked, Lewis?

40. You're on camera, dummy. So I got a match already. I got a match already. You got a match, let me see the match. Now talk to her. The prostitute. How do you know?

Talk to her, talk to her. She's gonna hit me up and say, hey, so what, talk to her. Tell us what you said. She's getting a crack pipe in the fucking talk to her. They've been punched by a blood dude. They won't respond back They'll like send you one message and then what's the message if you want to hook up for 75 I 75 roses for half hour or not bad. That's not bad. 75 roses. Yeah, I think I think that's just like that just gets them there

I bet you then they say if you want more you have to know and it's very dangerous to beat and switch Can I know it's not? It's very dangerous. They've beaten the swirks. Can I, can I, no it's not. Here's the thing. It's very dangerous to do that too, because these rods, there's always a guy, some pamper, some dude in the other room. And you go there and you're fucked.

And now with these camera phones, when you get in there, they'll be on their phone or something, they'll be recording you. So they can blackmail you after this, put it on the fucking internet and you're fucked. They can just put it out there, they have your Tinder name, whatever the fuck that is, is that something close to what your Twitter is? My first name.

Just first name, so they have no other information about you. Nothing. Nothing. They can't find you anywhere. Unless you have mutual friends. Yeah. Oh, so if you have, so let's say like you and I are friends on Facebook and I meet a girl and she's friends with you as well. Yeah, say that we're a mutual friend. And then you can see me. She could go to your Facebook and look up my name and then find me. That's fucked. That's a flaw. But no,

well, that's no, no, you don't like bitches that you have mutual friends with. Are they bitches? Yeah. But that will also help you sometimes as well though. Really? Yeah, because they'll be like, oh cool, this first is friends with this first. Shared friends, one friend right here, this girl. Who's the friend?

You have a shared friend. Yeah, one friend. Really? She's got a dog though. You can't date a chick with a dog. What? Because they're fucking, not that they're crazy, but she's got other response. She bought a dog because she was lonely Did you know what I'm saying? Yeah, she's lonely. You don't buy an animal because you're fucking lonely

You're also on Tinder because you're lonely. Yeah, her womb is dead or she wants something. She wants a child Yeah, you know, they're made I don't trust Lewis my fucking. Let me let me do I never use Tinder. I'm married too All right, we're gonna do a couple ads real quick We're just gonna roll through this today. We're not gonna take a break We're just gonna keep going right is yes to the left is no You guys in the chat room. We're just gonna keep rolling through it if you guys gonna take a piss go ahead Hanky chief says if you can find interest about Tinder the whole episode he'll donate to the podcast What does that mean if you can pretend you're interested in Tinder the whole episode he'll donate to the podcast So what does that mean if you can pretend you're interested in Tinder the whole episode he'll donate

It's a joke I didn't get it though. What's the joke? It was sarcasm They can't believe you're talking about Tinder this long. I know it's it's it's but here's a thing. Oh shit I agree I agree but the fact that this guy is getting his asshole eaten and he's getting clothes given to him. That's true Yeah, it's pretty fucking amazing. It's a special. It's it's it's it's in a minute. It's from a phone It's fucking nuts. Yeah that people from their pocket are just getting pussy and dick and now you get search of her pussy when I take a dump It's fucking it's nuts, dude. It's just it's crazy It's it's nuts that you can just fucking fine chicks all day long

Every second of the day now with your phone. Look at every fucking asshole in the world is on their phone right now Everybody in the room just go to me. I'm a tinder. Look. You're not tindering. I am. I'm done scupper's tinder Oh, all right, I Check this out listeners. I want to I want to tell you something right now the fucking check this out listeners i want to i want to tell you something right now uh... the fucking eight people in the podcast and the fucking three thousand people listening live uh... listeners are winning huge cash prizes every week

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order shit off Amazon, like for an office, office supplies or something, and then you use our fucking, our link off the site. We'll just tell them to just set their background as that where they order stuff from Amazon, just go through your website. That's what I was just doing.

Oh, okay. Well, isn't that just doing that? I think I was doing that okay, well, isn't I just doing that? I think I was doing that um, so anyways Holy shit, um, all right. Yeah, we're gonna move on from that I I did really go on and on about that, but I it just fascinates me man. I can't believe it You know, I wish when I was single I had these This shit, you know back then it was instant messaging fuck Craigslist casual encounter that was the uh Yeah, that was a shit pack and Craigslist casual encounter, that was the uh... Ah.

That was a shit back in the day. Craigslist don't even have anything on it anymore. Yeah, that's... No. It does, though. I thought Back Page is the one you have to go to. If you want to get massages or fucking tranny, you know. Dude, you fucking, that's a village voice.

You go to that one page now. They have one page left. On what? I've heard. What do you mean? Huh? What? I mean, no, where do you, I mean,... i mean no way to get i mean back i remember back in the day when i moved to the city you had to go get the village voice

there was one other one to i forget the name screw magazine i think a screw there's a magazine that was two of them and you go to the back and they had the ads uh... for the chicks that's how you went that's how you found your massage polish trannies and normal massage would cut off halfway through the page. Well, they would mix them and I used to, I used to play it all the time, guess the training because it'd be like regular chick, regular chick, and then

training. And I would just cover up the the female part of it. And but back then they were real like in New York, especially. You had to take an ad out. That was you, you know, now you go to, you can just, all these fucking fake bullshit up there for massages or escorts or you don't know what the fuck you get. They could show up at your place. You, they could show up where you are,

you usually went to where they were. You went to their apartment? Yeah, fucking hookers and I used to go to massage, but yeah, all that shit goes for an experience. You'd have to go to the village voice. They had them all over the place, get the magazine, go on the back, and you just sit there, and you'd fucking go to a back phone,

and you'd call them up, or you know, back then they had cell phones, but they were, you know, still kind of shitty, and you'd call them up. My brother has one now where it's online, and you go and select the girl you want, but they have, you have a profile too. So if anyone wrote some bad shit about you, they won't accept you. So you can go back and select them online and then you go, I wish they had, did they have

that about the girl? Yeah. Oh, so you can see if they suck. Yeah, exactly. It sounds like a yelp for horse. Yeah, exactly how they do that. They should have that. That was should be.

Right. Let's be honest, I think prostitution should just be illegal. Who gives the fuck with you to do with your body? You know, why would you tell a woman she can't sell her body Or I always say the same thing. I think that prostitution to be a women's right issue. Yeah, it really is What what what why isn't it legal what what what what what what what happened because it was legal for a long time The fucking big one here rats man the mafia, you know, just, you know, took control of it and they were just taking girls out, selling them, getting them drugged up.

And that's what the reason they don't do anymore. Whoa, Scuppo had no idea what the fuck. So good. No, I just fucked up on that one. I'm fucking started talking to the mafia, bro. Can I take it with through them though? We all were listening. Yeah, I know.

He literally said something we all went, wow. What is it? Go. That's the's the time of this spotlight and you fucking fail They fucking bought all these hookers that they fucking paid them that's you know what happened. What happened? I mean it was when was when I know prostitution prostitution in Rhode Island was legal up until five years ago There was like a loophole where it was okay to do it a picture for that hole though You I liked it, but it just the fucking chip joke Yeah, it was legal like it was a loophole in the in the laws in Rhode Island where you they had all these brothels fucking crazy brothels the hotel I stayed in What last time I was there? I think it was called the Drake. It was it's a boutique hotel. I love the Drake

Really cool hotel was a fucking brothel Back in the day, and I was like oh could you imagine like I'm going through it They had like a club downstairs a, and then upstairs was the brothel. How fucking great would that be? To go into a fucking nice place, they had a bar, maybe a little food. And then I'm sure at a fucking piano. And then you can go upstairs and this fucking, you know, whores. Like really, like nice looking brides who do this for a fucking living, it's safe. They is a like in Brazil. They had you know That's in Vegas. They have that No, I'm really that's a not in Vegas

I was in Germany too Berlin. They're brothels in Amsterdam Thailand Amsterdam's not brothels. Amsterdam's windows and it's very Amsterdam is not as fucking great as people say There's also there's also like brothel-y types of in Amsterdam That's just when you walk look you walk down to town on the red like district, that's the way that's that up. But you could also go to like a fucking mansion and they'll have bring out like high end owners. Not everybody is fucking.

Yeah, but that's the window. Look, when you go to Brazil, they have a place. It's like a disco tech and you go in and you get into a robe and flip flops and you go upstairs. There's a little boy you want. Well, you go upstairs. That's Thailand. You go upstairs and you sit around and you hang out in this music and there's a bunch of chicks and knowing the chicks, that's their job.

And they walk up, they don't have any fucking weird things about it. They look at you, hey, and they talk and then you go up to their room and it's already preset. There's no negotiation It is what it is. You're describing no, you don't pay a friend get a number on your wrist and you're 37 I'm 34 holocaust and when you leave they just they take your band back 37 and they go, okay You got three girls and you got a beer and some chicken knuckles and you pay You know place I mean? I'm in a place in Bangkok called Four Floors of Horse.

And it's like a mall, I've never been, but my buddy has been. It's like a shopping mall. It's like a nice place. It's like documentary on something like that. In Bangkok, yeah, it's on Netflix. And you're like four floors of horse. Why the fuck does a New York have that?

Why can't you, like for guys who don't wanna deal with it or are lonely or sad or don't get any pussy anymore? We could just go and the chick will fucking pop it pretty out there. It's pretty I mean It's not you can't walk into a store like you can in other places But if you want to find it, it's pretty easy to find an air. It's not legal the fact that you could be arrested Look at the fact that you're literally creating criminals your carol and John you creating a prostitute, over what we're deciding to do with our bodies, because I'm not pretending that we're gonna go to dinner or a movie and all the other bullshit.

We just cut the bullshit. Take this money that we would have spent the date. Fuck me, you get the money, I get off, everybody's happy. And you don't have to worry about being fucking idiot. That's the answer, by the way. It creates a black market, it creates more jobs. It's like weed, it's like weed, it's like weed. It's, it creates a black market, it creates more jobs, it creates a safe way. But it's like weed, it's like if you legalize weed, you're not going to have a bunch of cartels

in Mexico murdering people because we got it, we're growing it, we don't fucking need you anymore. So now it's fucking dark, weird shit to get a bag of weed. And you're not sending hundreds of thousands of African Americans to jail, and then they come out hard in criminals when they weren't actually in the journals. They're just growing up without a parent, and then they become criminals.

I'll tell you right now, let's go check out, go go go stand outside of college and arrest all these white kids. Go check out Dave Smith on the brand new web series that I've been producing and directing. True story, he has an episode on the Warren Drugs, which he makes all of these points,

and he says the Warren Drugs is the new slavery in America. And can you do me a favor? And you can just have water on hand because his mouth gets dry halfway through and I get thirsty. Okay. No, it is. It's not new.

It's going on for 30, 40 years here. But I imagine if we could go after this and just go to a place and it doesn't have to be crazy, expansive, right? Yeah. Every, you know, it's kind of a set price, a hundred bucks, a place and it doesn't have to be crazy expensive, right? Yeah. Every, you know, it's kind of a set price, a hundred bucks, a hundred twenty bucks, a one hundred fifty bucks, and you can tip if you want to. You know what I mean? You can negotiate, and you go in, you pick the girl, and you go in and you do what you

want to do based on the prices. There used to be an amazing place. It was one of the first places I took Burdu. It was like the first place he's ever been to. Larry Bird? No, Aaron Berg. So it was called Old English Health Club in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

It was amazing. You walk in, you go down the stairs, and there was girls everywhere. All fucking white girls, Spanish girls, black girls, Asian girls. It was everybody. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, black girls, Asian girls. It was everybody. You know what I mean? And-

Look, I know what you mean. And you could go and you give the girl you're in girls? You give the girl you receipt. No, you're crazy. Hi. There you go. There you go. You're in the deep, deep, deep. I have no problem with our women being prostitutes. I can't see.

I do. I, uh, this is my question of an Indian. Oh, right guys. Huh? So we, right? I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, okay, I'll be back in a couple minutes. She goes and does what she brings you to a room. You go and she gives you a nice rub and then you discuss, you know? And you could have sex.

You could fuck them, you could get head, you could eat her pussy, you could do whatever the fuck you wanted to. And you know she's cool with it. You know she ate it, right? Yeah, like yeah, she was telling me that one guy only comes, he loves to get fuck in the ass with a dildo.

And like I saw the girl, she knocked on my door, and I was like, do you have any baby wipes or something? And she was laughing, and I was like, what are you laughing about? This was the guy, he brings his own dildo, and she makes sure he has to wash it off before she uses. It's maybe 10 soda. It was, but you know, those places are gone now

because of the internet. Because of this, it's gone. You don't need to go to a place anymore. I'll just do it myself on the internet. It it harder and scarier and fuck more darker and fucked up I wish I wish there was a place You said I was gonna get jerked off and there's still massage parlors Look I jerk an office one thing but being a go and I look I remember I would have intimate moments with hookers. I mean, that sounds weird

But sometimes you want that you're a lonely fucking guy. Yeah. I remember around the corner they had a place. It was awesome. Right above the next to the fat black pussy cat upstairs was a whorehouse. And it was awesome. You go up there, you pick the girl, and you go on the back. I remember I made love to this chick one night,

and she was cool with it. I paid her a little more, and she was just a little slower and a little softer. She was a little slow. And yeah, she was definitely slow. How do these places get away with it. I paid her a little more and she was just a little slower and a little softer. She was a little slow. And yeah, she was definitely slow. How do these places get away with it back then? I don't know. Dude, how do you find out about it?

You'd have to go to the village voice. You'd have to hunt them down. But and all the people would tell you, like other motherfuckers like you would tell you. Comics are creeps, dude. Right next to Santa New York, there was a Rubin Tug. Yeah, but it wasn't a Rubin, like I remember those who placed on the upper side that I went to with a couple guys

and you had to go in and hold a newspaper over your face because there was no wall. So in the lobby, you had to hold a newspaper. That was just run attractive guys. If you took the newspaper down, they'd yell at you like because they didn't want you knowing who the guy next to you was. And you'd sit there and then they'd go,

you'd give them a name, of course, of Rob. And you'd go Rob and you'd go up to the thing and You put your paper down they go okay go to the hallway and you go to the hallway and they'd parade out whatever girls were on that night And then they'd be away from four to you know 10 girls and then you just go oh shit that one and you go great That's a Kathy and you creepy to you though because you know that chick was because you always picked the hottest chick You know, I never I didn't though because you have to think of the exact for that reason you know one time I remember I went to San Francisco one time long time ago and they was in all Asian place except for this one Smoke and Barbie doll like chick and she was always she was at the weigh-in

Sorry, I lit it was all these Asian girls. They opened up a fucking big wooden dragon door. It was crazy I heard a gong It was like the fucking like a Bruce Lee movie. And then I just looked at all these Asian girls and the last girl was a smoking Barbie blonde. And I went you and you're a thong da, thong da, thong da, thong da. They just, thong da, thong da, thong da,

they just walked away all the fucking bitch. Yeah, because you know she always gets picked. But does that bug kind of bug you? Like she's the most used? Like you have to pick the third or the fourth hottest. I'm the one. They're all used, man. I they're all used. And you know what here's the most used, like you have to put her on the third or the fourth hottest. And they're all used, man. I they're all used.

And you know what, here's the deal. I like a chick with a fucking weird goofy. I like a regular chick. When I used to fuck around like that, I used to go even though, even though I was paying for it, I'd like the girl that I could probably get in life. You know what I mean? Because she herself, a steam was equal to mine.

So we could be on the same level and the fantasy that she kind of is into me, which she was in, I could play out more. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I just wish it was right now, we could just all go. You know, I could splurge, set a dinner, I could just get you guys all blow jobs. Great. Played by the dinner?

No. That's what you just implied. No, I mean, if- Let's eat here. I'm starving, dude. I gotta go meet the baby. Have the baby. You don't meet the baby. You're gonna see the baby. You already know the baby. What? How do I have to take a cab with the baby? I don't do that. I'm starving. We'll take a cab over there. All right. You pay. So anyways, I would like some shirts if you can get them. I'll see what I can do.

Take some, take some ass eating for me. You should have to eat your ass and suck your dick. I like a jacket and sneakers. How's that? How's that shirt? Oh nice shirt, yeah. I don't want any shirts then. I don't, if it's that shirt, I don't want those.

Is that sneakers? I want sneakers. Can you give me sneakers? No, you're going to take nothing. Get them on your shirt. Why? Because you can't hand-boat. You make me a spinny thing and then when you get me sneakers,

trick one, I can do that. See? Yes. I got a nice Supreme jacket. I don't know if it's on my jacket. I love that coat. Can I get one of those? I'll see what I can do.

They don't have it in your size, Bobby. Your size? It's hard because they don't have the double-x-style sizes. You don't know that, though. I'll see. I'll look and do it. Yeah, you'll're looking are we all pretending the Bobby can fit into double X-Sail Is such an ass. I think a friend would I be a fight light? I don't know maybe a nice one not hurt me so much calling somebody fat Does not necessarily mean you're lying? You could just not be saying hey, you're fat. You could just be like Fine Joe you're fat. You could just be like Fine Joe you're

Thanks buddy Want to go to do it then dude? I want to I don't want to do I think this is the last podcast. I'm ever gonna do What I think we killed it last Sunday show. It's the last I'm not enough of this deep-puing ourselves. So I've had some good lunch here. What is this? I've had some pearls. Lou is not that stuff.

I've had a couple. The ass-eating stuff was all great. It is your shake. You're stinking. You have to do a scuffle energy, dude. I'm very tired. Do you know this whole fucking TV thing? It's a lot of work.

I blame the sweatshirts. Here's a dumb shits. Here's the thing that I didn't in my head. I'm so happy, thank you God, awesome, right? But you have to fucking, there's a lot of work, man. And on top of that, when you shoot a TV show, which you, nobody in this room knows, but it could be a boom operator, scope home.

It's like a good, not only am I doing that. I'm also having to learn drum tracks, which so there's no really time, like I have to go home, learn lines for the next day. And I also have to learn some type of drum thing, which is hard for me because I'm not a fucking drummer. So I have to kind of learn this, you're a bummer, this beat. And then you go and you do it in these long days

and I love it. It's awesome. But then, you know, Saturday, you know, I had to do all this, you have a house now. So it kind of hit me like, oh shit, I have to do yard work and I have to put some shit away and I had to clean the gutters. And it was all this, I took a nap on my roof yesterday.

Because, you know, I can't, like, I had to do this shit, and then when I come down, if I wasn't doing the gutters, my wife would be like, all right, let's go do something with the kid. Now you get the roof, roof, we done. So, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm fucking, I had to wake up this morning, I had to wake up and fucking, we had to go out,

and we had to do a bunch of shit, and I had, you know, we went to lunch and I got back to the fucking thing, I had to do drum practice, and then I had to wake up and fucking, we had to go out and we had to do a bunch of shit. And we went to lunch and I got back to the fucking thing. I had to do drum practice and then I had to come here. I'm fucking exhausted, I'm tired. I'm fucking really tired. But I'm grateful, it's awesome. And you know, I go, You sound real grateful.

Well, I'm just saying that I'm fucking sucking today. You know what, fuck you man? You look great today. You picked a slack up. I'm picking up the slack. That was a good one. I talked about, I talked about fucking, the fucking tender for an hour because none of you had nothing else. You had to have the roof redone. I don't have better jokes than that. What the scope of been funny twice on the show. That was big.

I was, I tried to talk about fucking his relationship. He brought it up, which I was very interested in. I was, I know it was a'm not sure. I know, it was a fucking set up because I don't wanna talk about it. Yeah, it was still up in. No, because my girlfriend will be mad at me and leave me fast. She does not leave, listen to this. It does.

She listens to everything. She does not listen to this. To look for things that I say. Well, you shouldn't have brought it up that. So she's listening now, leave. You're doing the right thing. Grun, actually. Run away.

Grun, I away. Grun? I love you and I love you, baby. And I'm so so when you've done boyfriend. Yesterday Louis called, asked me to help him move downtown. Yeah. So I get there and I'm the packer's car up and he's like, all right, I'm gonna go to stand up New York, just bring B downtown.

Yeah. So I had to move, I had to move B in the baby. But who brings the boxes on me? You didn't have to, you could have sat in the car. But I got to fucking literally have B move all the boxes into the apartment? I actually offered you money. And I said no, I know which was very nice of you.

What if I could have, so you should have told me that. You should have taken the money, but here's the thing, that's on you. That's on you. Because here's the thing, it only be you. It's not on him. It is. It's not on him.

I told her to give him money. It's on you. I said give him money. So then he's not doing us a favor. He's our employee, which I like. I have much rather an employee. I didn't give him money. So then he's not doing his a favor. He's our employee Which I like I have much rather an employee Dead a disco ball and I don't like that Yeah, but it's it's not that low. It's that you know, you know You just you make it a thing with you and him you guys are helping each other out. I never help him out

Who what the fuck you can't you can't do that? I know it's good. You wait even help anybody why? Every there he does to do what not be a fucking douchebag. That's true But did you know that that was gonna happen? No, I thought we were bringing both of them down So you thought it was it you thought it you guys were doing something together Yeah, yeah, like you were gonna help him and then I was gonna do something as a friend and then you're gonna Just be honest, but yeah, please I didn't even know you don't like him as a friend Beatrice I

Didn't even know his first name for the first two years. I knew him. I swear to God Yeah, he was just that dude who worked the door Broadway, okay, so be I didn't know how much shit Beatrice is bringing downtown and I started packing in the car. Yeah, you did say you had a lot of I gotta I gotta back him up on this I be here's a thing cuz my wife has done this to me when we moved out of the city I planned this shit to fuck out and women always have Extra things it was crazy. Oh, yeah, also this stuff. Well, it's like are you out of you? I mean me and Don almost got into a fucking It's like, are you out of your, me and Don, almost going into a fucking,

a relationship ending fight. When we moved from 520 to fucking 420, 47th Street, because I planned the shit the fuck out. And I had people come over, like guys, like movers come, and then I come upstairs, all right, let's go. She's like, oh, we're gonna get this stuff. And I was like, are you fucking nuts? There was like a pie, I go, that's seven trips.

We have a Honda Civic. I go, that's seven, and I fucking left. I fucking left. I left, I caught my therapist. I was nuts, dude. So I gotta kind of back him up on that. Yeah, and you know that, because I started packing the car.

We didn't even have enough room for everything in the car. Yeah. I just't we're taking something but you should have you should have you should have can't listen what did you do what would you have to go do what you have it was just some bags of clothes no what did you have to go do spots yeah you're you're stupid your spots don't matter it doesn't matter no they don't they do nothing for your career you're talking about you they do they pay me. How much? It was fucking a cent of New York $75. It was a Saturday night?

Yeah, Friday night. Uh, that's a different story. That's a different story. If it was a fucking $20 spot, Well, it was just one hour of spot, it's a different story. Yeah, you leave him hanging for that. But yeah, if you're doing spots to make red,

yeah, you get a good one. Yeah, no, no, no, no. By the way, it wasn't, here's the thing. It was supposed to be him driving her down with some bags and shit, and her bringing it up and that it just, him driving. Right, yeah. It wasn't supposed to be him bringing driving her down with some bags and shit and her bringing it up and that just Him driving right. Yeah, it wasn't supposed to be him bringing stuff up You're really mad at it is fucking chick. Yeah, fucking our shit manipulated him because then then she sits there

She was like oh scuffle that's really nice of you and she told me she's like oh he brought everything up He was so nice. I was like you really made him bring up everything She's like what the baby was sleep. Why did I yeah, I feel bad. I don't want to go back on money. She's like he wouldn't take it I was like well now. I'm in debt. How much money? What's your for you like 20 bucks? I was like no, don't even worry about it You know what he really doesn't take anything He doesn't take if you are from anything. No, he's a but I try to pay him every week for coffee. I got a fucking force I go the money. How much are you for coffee? I don't worry about it. It's like dude fucking take the money It's it's it's it's it's ten dollars. Yeah, but he kind of owes you for like everything. He doesn't owe me shit

Yeah, I kind of don't know you don't I Got my team now and I got a good team. I got D. Poo the fucking R2 D. Poo and I got scopled the producer With split and profits now too, right together. They have one third. Yeah, what's a third of a zero again? All right, I'll remember that when the check comes in how's that when the check comes out of the boat deep How's that yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have said that my bet is Kelly coming back Fucking keep him down. You just keep pushing those buttoned you cuck sucker. Um, no Kelly's not cool Hmm Kelly Fistuga. Yeah, she's not cool. Kelly, Fistuga? Yeah, she coming back?

She's not coming back brother. You liked her, didn't you? It's not she was on, right? Did you fuck her? No, I did not. Listen to me, she's gone. She ever? Is she in the chat room?

No, she's not. No, it's like four o'clock in the morning. Did you bang her? Never. Did you want to? You know, there was days where I was like, I probably would and there's days I was like, no, I would not.

Really? Yeah. Louis, do you have a fuck around her? No. I was good answer, would in the days I was like no I would not really yeah Lewis you have a fuck around her no I was good answer I know you would be the whole time um Chris scope oh no shorter fucked what huh he's not he didn't fuck her she fucked everybody no she didn't she sucked a lot. No, she didn't when she was leaving. She admitted to that You can be so naming all the guys I know I know one person I how how many fingers what how many fingers how many is this dick? How many fingers? What? How many fingers? How many is this dick?

Wow. This is inappropriate. Every female fan is listening to the show for the last time. Whatever, you bitches. No one's here anyway. No, don't listen. Go go the camera to me.

We do want you here. No girls will do this fucking show. G-Wood. Cause the savage statements like that. Women are funny anyway. Get the fuck out. You're an asshole. That's not true. Amy Schumer is hilarious. Women are funny anyway. Get the fuck out. You're an asshole. That's not true.

Amy Schumer's hilarious. Amy Schumer's one of the five states. Rachel finds these fucking hilarious. Adrian Eballucci. That's a man. I'm not. I know. Yeah, there's a lot of funny fucking women now.

Oh, dude. No way she get in the show. Oh, Heather Graves. Who's that? The super fan. Heather. Oh, Heather Graves. As that the super fan? Heather Oh As I know she can't she was in Boston. Yeah, she wouldn't come on though. No, she's very shy even when she comes to the show

She's very sure she's very nice lady. Yeah, she's she's super nice to the show. She's amazing to the show But yeah, she doesn't I like like so I'm like come here. She's like I'm okay. I'm good And she's calm. She's not like weird about it. She's just like I look. I'm good. I like the show I like supporting you guys, but you don't need to you know, I you don't need to you know do anything extra from you She's really cool. Yeah, I do need a female voice on the show. I'm gonna be honest. I would love a female voice on the show I think you're right. I would love I would love a strong, but you gotta eat it in Sharon. Yeah, but I like her But she can't she can only do it on fucking Tuesdays at 615 and I like her, but she can't, she can only do it on fucking Tuesdays at 6.15

And you know, I like a strong female on the show, but you know, I don't know who the fuck I try to get him But no girl wants no girl wants to do this fucking show, right? Scobo I have booked the girl and then she can't the last minute. So who was that? Okay, she was sick. She was a kid who wolf Yeah, so Wolf can't tell she thought it's a hot mom. Who's Kate Wolf? It's a hot mom. Oh the girl. Yeah. Yeah, the wolf. I Agree. We needed a girl in this conversation. They would have made it fucking you have to have the girl perspective on this even with hookers I think I will tell you do I think we need a female just in general. Stop saying we you're here once in a while I don't like how I've been rolled back to only once every three week guests.

Yes, both of them. It's fucking took over, man. Took. Took, took. That's how he says it, took. Well, well, we, we, we took, took, took, took. Dude, you couldn't make it. Fucking three weeks in a row.

Me? Yeah, I was doing them at night. Are you fucking kidding me? That's what Scopo said. You couldn't make it, you had spots. Scopo, shit. I fucking. I'm not kidding.

Dude, he said you had spots. You had the host not dude. He said you had spots. You had the host and you can't make it. Three weeks in a row. Scope a three weeks in a row. I can make it. I don't remember anything. It's three weeks. I don't remember.

This is fucking crazy. What are you talking about? I mean, I appreciate the invite. Joe, you weren't Joe any time you want. Yeah, but I was invited. But Monday night work. I work at night.

I'm a comedian. Yeah, there was the same thing with you. You were working. No, he was here last Monday. Yeah, last Monday you were here because you night. I'm Canadian. Yeah, there was the same thing where you you're working Now he was boss he was here last Monday. Yeah last Monday you were here because you couldn't you were fine and will was out of town All right, we're gonna end the show fuck this what it's early. It's not early. It's a fucking hour and a half All right, what do you want to talk about then go? I have to piss so bad I want to eat downstairs. You're boa. So two things you want me to you know I'm gonna end the show, which will be good for

you at two things. And peeing and eating, and you say what? I'm very lonely, Bob. Troued. It's Sarah on the show. Who's Sarah? Sarah on the show. She's girlfriend.

I love Sarah. Lewis, you're so insensitive and ridiculous. It's really unbelievable. Yeah. I hope your girlfriend and your baby leave you I hope that too. That's gonna happen. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have to hope that that's inevitable. Yeah Yeah, definitely gonna happen Lewis is gonna be an old guy. I can't wait He's gonna be just an old guy. Yeah, he's gonna get fat when they leave. Oh, dude. He'll be fat

What is it this year? He'll keep it for this year? Oh dude, he'll be fat. What is it this year? He'll keep it for this year Things will kind of go a little self after they leave he'll he'll keep it And they'll probably meet some chick some tattooed chick who's kind of into go might type bitch Yeah, I love it. I love your thing. Yeah, some type of accent. I love you. I love you go my you say edgy Fucking Bobie always try to And then he's gonna, she's gonna get fat with her. We should just stay in.

I think Louis is done being fat. I think he's gonna be ripped for life. You're out of your mind. Thank you very much, Joel. You don't listen. The reason why he didn't cure the psychological problem, what he did is he just, he did it, he did it, he got skinny.

I willed himself to do it. He didn't cure up here and in here He didn't he didn't you know you know you're gonna say I'm saying of course I do. Yeah He so he I know because I know because I haven't done it. I know that these are the underlying causes Bobby he just have to know that I'm smarter than everybody in here try. I don't know you too well You know I'm trying I don't think so either I don't like so I'm talking about you too here. Try, I don't know you too well. You see me, why? I'm not smarter than Troy. I don't think so either. I don't like so. I'm talking about you too, particularly. And obviously, Scopo, Deepu, I don't know too well, but he's Indian.

So you're the town. He's smarter than you in like two things. Technology world. Yeah, technology. Yeah, I don't know anything about technology. And math. I know that you guys are dumb. Don't get me wrong.

I also don't know. Hey, what are you laughing at? It's a good joke. Oh. Next, Deepu. You got it. He loves you laugh in it? It's a good joke. Next D-Poo. He got it. He loves you, love Jolus. I feel like Jolus really gets me because he's got an Indian roommate.

Yeah, I get it. I have an Indian roommate. Dude, I have a fucking Indian neighbor. Do you? No, I'm an Indian roommate. He hates pants. Troy, let me ask you a question. Are you taking that sweatshirt off?

No, I'm trying to itch my fat elbow and I can't reach it. My fucking tattoo is not on my arm anymore. It's like on the back of my arm because I'm so fat. When did you get your tattoos? What the fuck are we on Tinder? Yeah. So what in chat says your sweatshirt makes them feel like they want to eat egg rolls? Yeah, I wish my sweatshirt made you want to write better jokes.

That wasn't that funny, right? I had better egg rolls. Let's punch up that joke for him. Your sweatshirt makes me hungry, maybe. So tighter, that's good. A little tighter, right? Right, sweatshirt makes you accentuate your egg rolls. There it is, this fucking dough, man.

I should say leg rolls. The snipe rolls. Who, rewrite that, put it in and then read it when he puts it back up They put it in have you ever been fat Troy? I went through a fat period. Yeah, when I was about 21 Do you have photos I do I was actually I Was my band I was not actually in the porno, but I was in a porno with my band. Yeah, that's where my fattest Is it on the internet? Can we see it? I don't know it's members shape. Do you remember Shane?

She did a famous world shanes world. Yeah, I was there was like a backstage sluts video or something Okay, it was in really yeah, I remember you in I was in this rap group from Philly. Oh, we talked about you. What did you rap? Oh you? Yeah, I was a rapper That's fuck you freestyle right now. No, cuz I would I would write wraps out really I wasn't was a rapper. That's fuck, you freestyle right now? No, because I would write wraps out. Really? I wasn't like a real, I mean those guys that you can't freestyle.

No, not really. You have a try? I mean, I haven't even done any sort of rap in like, really? 12 years. All right. But yeah, I went through, I just went through a fat period, and then I went to, do you remember what

were those called those pills that you could get in clubs? GNC, no. This pills you could get from GNC that had a fedronum. Yeah from GNC that had a fedra in them. Yeah, diet fuel. Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, you take a couple of those when a when you had with the a fedra and you would drop weight like nothing Yeah, I remember those I used to take them all the time you do it before you go away. Yeah, stacker twos Remember stacker twos? Yeah, I ordered a stacker to one of us one time. Why and I was sick for two days straight Why did you have why would you snort it is that instinctual I did some real shit if I started a fucking asshole snorting a staggered to I would fucking kick him I think you're an

idiot that's a scope of told me to do you get me a fucking a adder all you think dude you got to snort it no no what are you doing this is what happened he goes I want I wish I had the other two nights so I was like I right just break it up and snort it You'll have both for you. Oh, he said no. No, no, no He said that's what he said no no. I told him to do that. Please stop saying no Yes, yes, he told I was like break it up and you have it both nights and he goes no, I don't want to snort If you say no again, I'm fucking throwing my iPhone 60 Yeah, that's exactly what he said. He said break't want to snort it. If you say no again, I'm fucking throwing my iPhone 60. Yeah, that's exactly what he said.

He said, break it up and snort it. Yeah, you can't snort the blue ones. Because they have that stuff in them that fucks you up. No, I wasn't blue. You got it from somebody else. If you have the blue ones, they put stuff in it so you can't snort it. Why?

When it gets in your sunshine, I don't like snorting shit. That's crazy. But that's why I did it, though. He said, I want it two nights and I want it two nights, not one, so I said, I want it. Why can't you just lick the first one and lick the second night? Should crush it up.

Oh, cut it. Well, it's going to hit you harder if you snorted it. It hit you harder. Yeah. What about your ass? Isn't if you put it in your asshole, I think. What? I don't.

I have a buddy who did that with XC. They call roofing it. Yeah, dude. And he was still mad. We all took XC and in a half an hour started working. We're all fucking tripping on a and then his wasn't working. So he was furious. And then about 90 minutes minutes in he just started screaming in pain because it like I finally like broke through like the The medicine-proofing and then for about five minutes he ran around screaming with a burning asshole

Oh, wow and then he just fucking sat down and he had the best trip ever We were all jealous that we didn't put the excess the upper assholes That sounds great. That Louis C. K we didn't put the XC up our assholes. That sounds great. That Louis C. K. Joe, was that the the animal in his ass? I don't remember. And he talked about that, how it just it just gets him so high, so quickly. Oh yeah.

You got a gay club is back in the day. Yeah. You should find animals in the floors of the bathroom because they would take the XC and they would put it up their ass within an animal. Wow. Is it like a little silver bullet? What an animal. What do you mean an animal? your ass with an animal. Wow. Is it like a little silver bullet?

What an animal, what do you mean an animal? It's like an injector thing. Yeah. It's a put medicine in your asshole. An animal is not an injector thing. Isn't it like a turkey based? Yeah, I was gonna say like a turkey based. Yeah. Like a douche for your asshole.

Yeah. No, I believe an animal is attached to a bag. You're thinking of M&M's no Candy and then an enema has a water bag on it and you fill that with warm water You put the holes spray but did you spray the met there's medicine something you have to lie on the ground You have to put the bag has to be over your head for the Payed an extra $200 for this one's to to for the gravity to give you put the thing in your asshole You push the you put the thing in your asshole,

you push the clicker. What's the tube is the enema thing? The tube that you use is what they use when you inject the medicine. But it doesn't inject, it doesn't have a syringe on it. You have to put water in a bag. It has to be a bag attached to a ball. Whatever they use, they use the fucking... I've never got it.

I've got it already. Enema or clister. Oh, that's a tube. It's like a turkey based one. Yeah, say it in. They used to fucking I've never I got already I got already I'm a Or cluster. Oh, it's a tube. It's like a turkey basically. Yeah, see it in oh you mean okay, okay All right, so it has a there's something on the end of it. I've never seen them like that It's a fluid injected into the lower bowel by the way of rectum Sounds hot you why you put something your asshole Yeah, well you wouldn't put anything in your asshole? No. You never had a girl's finger in your asshole?

No, I mean, yeah, I've sexually yes, but I wouldn't drug. I would not put drugs in my asshole to get high. I would never put drugs in my peole, my asshole, my eyeball, I would snort them or eat them. I would probably try it. In your asshole. I would probably try it. If I was with his friend and he said, look, I just probably try it in your ass. I would probably try it If I was with his friend and he said look, I just shoved it up my ass I'm fucking rolling my goddamn face off. It's crazy. I'd probably go you know what?

I'll sweat it out for five minutes Now what is it? Here's girl coming eat it out of his ass Yeah, what what is that call if you put an XTC in your asshole and she eats it from your asshole and you're both good I don't know good time It's about Tuesday Tuesday in twerk want house. I don't fuck with ecstasy anymore though.

I don't fuck with anything. What an ecstasy, I never fucked with it. I quit. I did a lot of ecstasy. I've never done Molly. Everyone tells me Molly's a bit better. I did ecstasy for like a two year period, three year period, right at the college,

and then I just stopped down it. What is it? It's Molly is the pure form of heroin. MDMA. Well it's MDMA. It releases the serotonin in your body. And like a huge, like so what makes you feel good? It releases it in a huge dose.

So when you're with somebody like I fucking love you. It would have you do with it the greatest thing ever. Yeah. And the feelings are just amazing. Yeah. But then when you come down, the come down is so hard. I should not on Molly. Molly isn't as bad, but I actually see the come down is really hard.

But you should give everybody the buzz your album an ecstasy pill Yeah, but the calm down is gonna be terrible. Well, no the Molly what they did what they did the new Molly It's you you heroin so the calm down is not bad at all really, but the ecstasy the calm down is a horrible so Molly is not ecstasy Molly is the pure form it's a pure form form. Because the extra is all shit thrown in. The scene's cut with like uppers, downers, hair. What the fuck is that tattoo? Yeah. The UNJ both have the same tattoo.

Well, we've almost the same tattoo. I have a gay. You have homos the same tattoo. Mailed them, huh? Guys? Right it down. Go ahead. Please do.

It was terrible. You have the same tattoo as another man. It's fucking stupid. We don't have the same tattoo. It's basically the same tattoo. It's almost the same tattoo as another man. It's fucking it's basically the same tattoo It's almost the same. What's the difference? I have 10 hash marks. He has nine hash marks Why is that because we did trivia on each other and every time we got a question wrong We got another tattoo or another hash mark tattooed into our arm It's ridiculous real as dudes. You know real as dudes. You're real as assholes. Go my tip me up

Yeah, all fucking eight of you. All 22. That's the truth. There's a lot of people in the real ass diet right now that have been hitting me up. But if you guys need help, I will answer every tweet. I am. In every email.

Every tweet in every email. I swear to God. I turn you in my back. I'm talking. It's because I didn't help on the real ass diet. Darving. All right, so listen. Do you do drugs now? I smoke a little weed That's it. You don't do any more pills. No Lewis. You do pills, right? No, I won't I'm now

I'm gonna try to get a prescription for a role I don't know he does not want a prescription about why the worst thing you could get did well you you're on it though I have a prescription, but I can sense or I can calm it down to what my brother's My brother really did the adoroll he can if he goes a day or two without it. Yeah, he loses it He goes on the couch Major 80 day or you high all the time no, I have major 80 day. You show it's not I'm high What is he gonna do though is Is it gonna lose what you, well, when I think

you seem to be very into what you are right now, real-ass dude. And you're very productive. You know what I mean? I'm not very productive, that's a problem. We're talking about you have 11,000 podcasts. You have fucking 12 podcasts. Yeah, but I need, it's really hard for me

to get there. And ADD is not just not being able to get shit done. ADD is being, it's a very frustrating lifestyle to live in. Like, if I'm like, Beatrice gets mad at me all the time because I'll be reading something online and then she'll ask me a question and I don't even realize she's talking until she's 10 words in. And like, it's a frustrating thing. It's a genuine, it's genuine a fluxing in my life.

Because I think I thought you just hated me for two years. I'll be saying something and you're not even paying attention at all. Oh dude, it's major, major fucking 80 day and it's really hard for me to concentrate Maybe that maybe because you're over it. Well, it is you do stupid shit like that It does seem like maybe you're being a douche, but maybe that's what it is also You know they may be very focused on the podcast you're very good on the podcast. Yeah, I don't listen to your other 1100 podcasts ever Also, you may want to think about not smoking a ton of weed It's probably not helping if you're really that

Yeah, that's probably the name All the time and when I smoke weed, yeah, but I don't want to fucking punch holes in people I want to use get into some meditation dog. Yeah, why don't you do some T.M. Dude or do some fucking yoga? Yeah, yeah Cardio stop training man Trinnyman. There you go. What? I really like it. Did you do D.D. Greenover?

You could hear the fucking bandana, a special next to the mic, this one. Why don't you do some, I just started getting into meditation. And it's, look, I'm not gonna say it's helped me a ton, but it's helped me some, man. It really did. And also talking to somebody, having every day. I talk to somebody every day,

and not about other people's shit, about how what I did because of other, like what somebody did to me, or if I have a problem, I'd be like, this is what I did. It's all, I always make it about me. If you have a problem, I'll solve it. Check out the hook,

when my DJ revolves it, huh? So I have any D. So, yeah. But yeah, meditation's good yoga. Why don't you try something like that and set a smoking fun, getting based it all day long. Yeah. Yeah, based it all day long.

I get high and go to yoga. Yeah, see how you can do that? Why don't you do that? Yeah, good job, try. We almost had this fucking idiot off of drugs. I try to sell them on it No, but look dude I when I have stopped smoking weed for periods of time and your life got better. That's not true Absolutely not true. No true. People need weed just to fucking function. I have dude

I have a real fucking like anger and I know I need to fix it. I'm not saying it's right Yeah, but you're suppressing it instead of dealing with it What you're doing is you're just suppressing it because you don't want to have the responsibility of dealing with it. So you're saying that I have real bad anger issues. I'm gonna fucking kill somebody, so I do a drug to suppress it until when?

And to what? Yeah, but I mean, if you- The question leads to depression. What if you dealt with it and it went away and you changed who you are? I've tried, I've tried to go to therapy and I'm not saying that I'm not gonna try again, I've tried to do all this stuff. It is a constant battle for me.

So I try to do what I can do to manage it and to not be a fucking lunatic. And smoking weed typically kind of helps that out a little bit. I understand that. Oh, I understand it, but he's saying, you know what I'm saying saying like I have anger issues I want to I walk around wanting to murder people right and weed suppresses it doesn't solve it doesn't take it away Well, no, it just doesn't that's what I'm saying we'd here's a thing. I'm constantly walking around because it comes back

He doesn't do it. I shouldn't walk around so if if if you're doing something and you stop doing it I'm constantly rolling that's back. That's bad. You're not fixing the problem. You're doing it because it Relaxes, that's not what I'm saying. I'm listening, bro You know, I want to kill people. No, forget just wanted to say that. How can I forget it? I want to kill somebody let's say because the fucking taxi driver Won't stop like he'll slow down and then a fucking take off And then I'll run up to the next light and punch his window. But have you ever smelled you? So I'll take it back.

You guys are just having a game of, never Sunday again. Depot, can you, there's the name of the show. Never Sunday again. Sunday show. So never, never given Sunday. Sunday show and then in parentheses never again Never go ahead. Sorry. This is the 9-11 of the white

You put it here, but you're backing out now. You're back you're back pedaling now That's not what I'm back. You're back. You said okay, make it. Make it as the weed doesn't take away the feeling of warning Do you want to win glasses? By the way, Lewis might actually think Indians are responsible for 9-11 I Don't really think you're dumb. Don't give me that look so yeah, go ahead though I do I do think you're dumb we take away the edge that I constantly feel not them wanting to murder people What is the edge to do is looking at edge on be constantly? So what is this murder people edge because I want to murder somebody if they cross me while I'm on edge

Okay, you want to murder people so bad. Why don't you murder when you do stand up? You do good a lot Comedy Central said they said they said they said we always seem to do good They're so waiting to see that said they said we always seem to do good. Why would they say that? Why could they not just say? One of my managers told me that as I'm walking into another audition. Did she say that? I'm about to go on an NBC.

I was like, oh, just so you know, comedy central doesn't really like you. All right, cool. I gotta go and say it. I'll be right back. Click. What the fuck? She didn't say it like that. No, I'm kidding.

She's not here out of your mind. So I'm serious though, why don't you try to deal with the anger issues, because I have anger issues too, but I'm trying to deal with them with my own brain. Like I'm trying to deal with them myself, using my brain and my own psychology and my friends and the support groups around me and Cutscene Bobby eating an entire chicken to the face, right?

No, dude, I can't I get you I use my be smoking weed. I'm definitely smoking a turkey Donuts and Again, but we talked about all yeah, but I'll go right now to go good I have again. But we talked about this. Oh yeah, we'll go right in. We have to go. So good. I have to do my last shot today. All right, here's the deal. After the show, my car's parked up a street.

I will drive up to Donutton with you guys. You guys go in, huh? Where's the baby? Could you drive us to the east side? No. I'm starving, man. Where is he? Where's the baby?

He's village. He's village, huh? All right, no Donutton. You're the baby? He's village. He's village. All right. No don't know. You baby gay Yeah, not yet, but he will be I'd love it if you just fucking max is just like some he max is by like he bangs Brods mainly and then flow fucking dude everyone's well and your kids totally just a flame Or and my kid uses your kid just a fucking just a comment Yeah, but he does it with no real sense of humor uses your kid just to fucking just to come on a face. Just to come on face. Yeah, but he does it with no real sense of humor,

while James laughs at all of my stuff, and he's just like a sweet kid. No. No. No. No. Is it good, Joe? Joe, Joe, a fucking 15 month-year-old baby

could fuck up his self-esteem. I hate that, baby. You said last time he was good to you. He was okay. They were all right. They were like a late seller crowd. All right, listen man, we got a fucking rap. We got to pack up.

This show is fucking ridiculous. I don't know what happened. That was a great show. Wasn't a bad show. It was a great show. It was a deep pooing. All right, let the chat room right now, you let us know what type of show this show is. First of all, there's two fucking homos that don't like football in the chat room right now. You let us know what time to show this. So all this you fucking homos that don't like football in the chat room right now.

Come on. You can compare this to other podcasts, which are just generally unfunny dribble. Yeah. This is a very, very funny show, but compared to all the other YKWDs, this is awful. No, it's not awful. I wouldn't say it. What are you talking about? Do you know how many episodes Kelly ruined? Waffles. I'm kidding. I keep shitting on Kelly. I love you Kelly. She's great. I'm you Kelly. She's great. She's great. I'm gonna go get Donut Dunn. Do you want me to go up to Donut Dunn?

I'm gonna go up to Donut Dunn. You bring some back? Yeah, let me do that. No, I won't go to Donut Dunn. I'm not gonna go. I can't. I get a stop. I'm not.

I'm not brought 30 donuts between four people. Let's go get wings and mac and cheese downstairs. No, we're gonna go to Blue Ribbon. Blue Ribbon, dude. I got this done. That's go get wings and mac and cheese downstairs. No, we're gonna go to this count blue ribbon blue ribbon dude I get this little ribbon the fried chicken place. Where is it these village? I Unmovable for our chick and they have like a bunch of different hats on where are these village? I live right by there I'm gonna go I can't go I gotta go home because I got fucking drummy rehearsals Did I get in there my lines? That fucking blue ribbon. More like Dumb rehearsals. Where's the band-in?

You just said, fuck you and fuck you. All right, D-Poo. And it was a chat room saying. Tattoo Mentor says, Sunday Stinker. Got better after Tinder time, though. It did get better after Tinder time. Why are we reading this? I hate that guy.

Fuck that guy. That's my episode. That's his podcast. Well, what if he said, he's a fan of the show? Oh, Marin What else? I think I said I was carrying it because I like that guy. No, I think it's a different guy What up? Dericado says it was a good show. I am not a homo Joe. Yeah No reason dude says not awful. All right, I'm into Norway. Ah, there you go reason dude says not awful not really going to know where

uh... there you go and you are in the boss and boss man out here for the people but i have a marathon survivor and i'll get it out of the show with the perilla dumb dumb i'm gonna end the show right the fuck now uh... you guys are amazing uh... what's up we're gonna do dates we're gonna do plugs are real quick uh... troy con we're gonna go you first uh... yeah Troy Conn, we're gonna go at you first.

Yeah, just find me on social media, Troy Conn, Tion, and I, Q, U, N. Yeah. And if you have a podcast, I'll be happy to do the production for your podcast. All the sweepers on this show and any other, what else is it? Intro, outro.

Intro, outro sweepers, it's, he's fucking phenomenal. Thanks, man. Phenomenal. He really brought my show up to a next level. So we're gonna get some new shit for you. We're gonna get some new shit. Yep, it's he's fucking great. And he's not, like some guys,

yeah, it's this much money. I was like, go fuck your mother. He's really, really reasonable. Hunter bucks, guys. Yeah, if you hit me up and say you heard it on this podcast, I'll definitely hook you up with it. Yeah, so if you have a new podcast, number one, get yourself a Zoom H6 and around six microphones

and then hit Troy Cwan up for amazing intros and outros. It will definitely make your podcast that much better. You just slide them in and at the beginning of the end and in the middle, if we go on for two hours, but unbelievable. So tell them where they can reach again. Troi Kwan, T-R-O-Y, Q-U-A, and also social media is then troiquan.com. And if you want, if you're just a 55 year old old bag and get a fucking big fat wet pussy and you want to get fucked, find a Montana, he'll come over and fuck you while your cats watch. Joe, what do you got?

All right, you L.A. LA folk stop stop for one second. They talk do you have a paper calendar? Yeah, I started doing comedy in the 90s and I still go with the same system great your same jokes, too Did I have to do a podcast people right more than I do huh? I asked him to do a podcast next week and he was like I do I gotta go home and check my calendar I was like once putting your phone. He was like well., I have my calendar at home. Is it actual paper? It was in my bag in the other room. I was trying to get out of doing your pocket. That he wouldn't just put it in his phone

and then put it in his calendar later. I gotta respect it and it's just weird, but I gotta respect it. It's a joke thing. I hope it gets lit in a fire. If you're in Los Angeles, no, remember fifth, I'm doing a show with Dan Soder at the Venice Underground, Venice Underground underground i don't know the website

google it whatever and then uh... december it's a while and ways away december four-thin-six i'll be headlining the comedy addict and blooming ten indiana and i think i'm gonna try to record that album again good so uh... december four five six or three four five of the fuck it is blooming ten indiana college you have a website i do it's comedian comedian Joe list calm follow me on Instagram Joe list comedy I'm killing it on Instagram lately But lately I mean the last two years

Bobby look great. I hit that sweatshirt. I'm an ever-rump full of social pass I'm a sociopath. You how much volunteer work. I do dog. What do you do? What do you do? I'm very little but I do a little bit Go ahead. What do you got guys go to my website? Realestude.com also I just I'm new to the Instagram community Gomez comedy on Instagram as well Follow on Twitter at Lewis J Gomez. What what do you done? Turning your mic up a little also I'm gonna be at the New York stop don't worry what I'm doing. I'm running the show New York comedy festival I'm doing a bunch of days. I could eat it How the musicals returning so if you want to see me stupid and J and Christian Finnegan and a bunch of other comics, Kevin Farley, a second dance about the art of stand-up comedy, we have three shows during the New

York comedy festivals. So come out to How the Musical, guys. And you know, check out my other podcasts. I got a few other podcasts. They have the hammer-fishing podcasts and the right cast that work if you're a mixed martial arts fan. Also, Legion of Skanks over in cave comedy radio.com You just can't meet big Jane Dave Smith really telling filthy stories just being real

animals and last but not least the real ass podcast and San Diego your labs real ass comedians talking about real ass shit real ass podcast. CW Clebs dot com. Also, if you want you go to my Amazon page on hammerfishing.com, use our Amazon link, because we really could use the money right now. Didn't you use to be a guest on Tuesdays with stories a few times too? I was right on that show. Check out that Tuesdays with stories on setup your clubs.com.

Yeah, unbelievable show. 800,000 fans. There's only 600,000 soundcloud subscribers, but they are 800,000 fans. Bobby, we started saying, we'll go and do a gig. If you want to book us guess how many gigs were booked in one week? How many? Yes, take a guess seven zero seven is correct seven different places people You should fucking be a magician that was unbelievable You should be something other than a podcast all right listen All right, listen

Scobo never book these two people again. I will never do it again I got at Chris gopo on Twitter and then Bobby's dates October 29th Be the Empire Casino when Yonkers New York. Oh November 1st. I'm with Bobby Where at some gig in Connecticut? Well, I canceled that yeah, you didn't yeah, it's not out of calendar Are you kidding? Yeah, are you kidding? I? Don't know what don't tell you I think I'm gonna cancel you I'm gonna cancel the scale. Are you kidding? Yeah, are you kidding? I don't know. You can't tell that thing. I think I'm gonna cancel you. I'm gonna cancel you off of it.

Scouble, what are you doing? I'm open, I'll go. Send you. Will you go? It's next Saturday, right? Will you really go? I'm off next Saturday. I'll go, no, fuck, no, you can't take me off the gate.

All right, yeah, I can. It's my gig, I can take you off. No, I got you. I thought you had done all headline, Lewis opens for me. Yeah, I'll do that. Okay, I'll do that. Yeah, I want more money than you got, so I'll do that. Yeah, I want more money than you got Can I host yeah, I want more money than you know, but you can't host though. You got to learn how to do that Can you just read the gig me where is the gig we're doing? Oh?

Connecticut somewhere it's not only I gotta fucking god damn it November first November first. That's next week. Yeah saturday night Yeah, I mean you have a gig. Go ahead. Is it that's the sun that's saddening coming up? Oh God. Oh God. November 8th, comics come home and the Boston Garden. Yep. November 14th, 15th, Uncle Vinnie's, and Point Pleasant.

Yes. December 4th, 5th, and 6th, and McGubby's Joe Cows. Bam. Check it out. Guys, check it out. And I just booked a New Year's Eve gig. I'm very excited about. I will be at the Comedy Connection in Rhode Island.

New Year's Eve, two shows only. So make sure you get your tickets now. It's a very small club and it's New Year's Eve. It's going to sell out. So get your tickets now at the Comedy Connection Rhode Island. Deepu, what do you got real quick? On Twitter, at R2D, I do stand up. I also provide live streaming solutions if anyone wants that.

If you need somebody to help you with your podcast, live streaming and technical shit, he is, he's, I can't even, he's the best. I know a lot of bet. It's very affordable. So you should consider it if you're doing a podcast. He wants to leave this show really fast. It's alright. You can leave if you get something better. I wants to leave this show really fast. It's alright, you keep that. It's alright, you can leave. If you get something better, I get it. No, it's not like that. Alright, what do you got, Scope?

That was it. Okay, no you, you, dumb dumb. Oh, personally, I see that dumb. Not much going on. I'll be in the city, doing a lot of spots. Okay, buddy. I'll see you guys later. Sorry about the, this never will happen again.

Sunday show will never happen again and we'll never talk about Tinder ever again. Unless Troy comes back on he has more ass-eating tender stories than we'll talk about it you guys are the best thank you so much for listening to the know what did podcast holy shit boom and we're done whoa shit what did I do You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

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