Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - No D for a Year

Episode Date: January 16, 2017

This Week on YKWD: We have Joe List, Yamaneika Saunders, and Mike Feeney! We talk about certain comics owning certain references, Meryl Streep and Trump going at it, and the plight of the African American wig! Watch / Listen and enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. It's podcast, no rules. I'm gonna the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I root grab can I get a microphone? No, that's so f**k. That was trying to keep it like a comic head.

I have a bunch? What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics. No directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin.

That's how it all holds the truth. You want a daily? My podcast is popular enough. I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on flightcast.com. Yep. Yeah, it's yeah, very anti-commanded. It's very and welcome to the show.

You want a little energy deep, but there you go. Welcome to the YKWD. You know what show? We're back after vacation, I believe. That's correct. We were here last week. Like I said, we're back. Second week after vacation.

We have I appreciate the energy, Bob, because right before the show started it felt like a SARS-Bomb went off in here Yeah, so I sold it in and it's pretty wise. Why why everyone sick except for me. I'm the chosen that's because you have you eat pepperica in every meal Something like that turmeric turmeric. Sorry. I was thinking of a red spice I was thinking of a red spice. Yeah, it's a crazy day, day after the golden globe. So two days after the golden globe. I mean, people are still bitching about Trump. Yeah. The stars are still scared shitless about Trump.

I don't know why their lives will not be affected. You know what I mean? Marl Street had something to say. You know, here's a funny thing too. And because, you know, you could say, you know, you know, she was really mad at him about the him making fun of handicapped people. Right.

The handicapped reporter. And that's somebody put a video clip up of him doing that gesture all the time. Like that's just his go to body language. Body language when he's talking about somebody that doesn't know what they're talking about. He may, so he's done that before.

It's not like he was doing that to make fun of this kid. It just so happen to be that that person, you know, so Marlowe's speaking fun of Trump's disability. This particular kick. Well, it might be a tick. It might be. But that's here. Say too. I mean, that could be just getting a bunch of clips of him doing that. He could have done it after. Who the fuck knows? Yeah. But who the fuck cares cares that's what I'm thinking well apparently marl Street's overrated now so yes well that is just the most ridiculous thing

to ever say yeah can I read the tweets yes please all right marl Street one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood doesn't know me but attacked me last night at the golden glovesbes. She is a, and it can tell you, Hillary Flunky, who lost big. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, it's just, this is why, you know, when people that hate him are just so happy every time, every time he tweets, they must just be like, oh, it's headlined. It's changing the economy.

He's saving jobs with tweets How do you figure because it well? I mean he's alleging he saved a lot of jobs in the automotive industry With certain tweets not one tweet. I mean there's been a thing going on you know One I forget which car company, but they were gonna open up Clinton Mexico Yeah, and then they very recently Recended that after yeah after a Trump tweet. So people were saying like, oh, maybe he actually is instituting change in this very bizarre, trolley way.

I don't know who is allowing him to do this. Along with what? Just tweet. It's called America. Are you, where are you from? Fucking what do you mean? Who's allowing him to do this? It's not like a document that lets you say you could do whatever you want.

When you set up a Twitter though, don't you have to get permission from the Twitter? The boss. The boss is going to do it. Isn't there a boss a Twitter that doesn't allow you to tweet everything that you say? Isn't there like a guy? And they chose for his child be a masculine child. Sell it up like just hold off on the opinion.

Yeah, they didn't account for the constitution. They used to have something in the movies they have that person. You can't say that. They don't on opinion. They didn't account for the constitution. They used to have somebody, in the movies, they have that person. You can't say that. They don't have that. It's over. That's how you want the election. By just saying outrageous, ridiculous stuff.

And then the left being way too left, trying to just have safe spaces and all the silly shit. And that's where the people like me that were on the fence You know might have went and voted for Trump instead of Hillary because you know and look it was it was not a pretty election Let's just put it that way. I wish Obama could still be in office. I wish I don't know why eight Why can't if he's good just let him go till he dies? Let him to you know, no, no, just let him go till he drops dead or he gives up. I think Mayor Bloomberg did that, right?

He was doing two terms then he said, I'm gonna do a third term, change the law. Yeah, he changed the law. Yeah, Obama should have did that. We just saved us, at least we had four more years of, you know, quiet. Yeah. This fuck it, I mean everybody's just,

I get it and Trump needs to know how to take it Just take it shut up and take it very emotional. Marl Street I like the responses. I like that. He's responding you do. Yeah, it's because you're angry Bro, it's all about the stink check out my podcast. Legion of stinks Everyone's a on YouTube. You don't have that No, I was gonna say I was gonna throw up in my mouth I don't have that. No, no, I was gonna say. Oh my God. I was gonna throw up in my mouth. Yeah. Anyways, so yeah, that last night was the golden gloves. Or did you watch it? No, you need the money because you don't go to the party.

Stand up in New York last night. No, I laid in my bed. Why? Well, there was a holiday party. And I just found out today that there was a party there and missed opportunity to grow in the business. You should have went. There was a Gotham party Monday night too. Oh, should have went. Yeah, I had a great time in Syracuse this weekend. Yeah, I had to go. It was good. It was good. I felt bad.

The second show Saturday, I believe it was. Yeah, front row big dude, two big guys, one bigger than the other, you know, you know, kind of country a little bit. That was kind of trash in them. And then the wife gets up and goes to the bathroom I'm like what I read up front through right at the beginning I said she comes back kind of on the phone and then he gets on the phone and I don't really say anything to them because I could feel the energy yeah it was not let

me just check my Twitter account energy it was something's wrong energy right so I said I said what's up buddy everything alright? And he goes, no, this big guy. And I'm like, what happened? What's going on? He goes, my daughter just got her car accident. Oh my God. And I'm like, God, dude, do this, man. Just, you know, get out of here.

And he's just to get up and he's taking his credit card out. And, you know, I'm like, I got it. Yeah. I tell the way, because the way he just is about to grab his card. Yeah. I'm like, I got it. Just let him go. the grab his card. Yeah, I'm like I got it. Just let him go You just go don't worry about it. I got it This is a great scam if you just want to get out of comedy

He took off. Yeah, I know well, he took off. He was really big guy almost in tears and he takes off Okay, I had him fill the front row a couple more people fill the front row We had a great show and then after the show show, I gave the waitress $40 tip. You know what I mean? Just because who knows? And then they brought me the bill. And it was, I thought it'd be like 80 bucks. It was a $174.

Oh my God, what was he drinking? They ate and drank like two hours before the show. Oh my God. I was like, fuck, I should, what, Twil, you know what I mean? Yeah. She's already in the accident. Yeah. It's like you're going to get her out of the car.

I mean, you pretty much go to the hospital now. What's four more minutes? Yeah. Oh my God. Fucking two dingas out of my pocket. That's all right. I thought the club was gonna pay, I thought the club. The club should step up me like, yeah, that's fucked up.

Let's take a half. I really thought the club when they saw how big the check was, but I was in the room with the manager after who's so sweet and so nice. And I go, yeah, it's pretty crazy. 170-foot-hole chairs. She's like, I know that was so nice of you. What else are you going to do? You're on stage when this happens, right?

When you say I'll take care of it. What am I supposed to do? I mean, I feel so nice of you. You have to be like, yeah, I'm a little bit of a man. Well, I know, she said, I thought you'd be like, what, oh no, but she was like, the dog got, I go, no, the daughter, I was trying to tell her, is more, more pressing it, the daughter got no car accident.

She was like, oh, yeah, that's real nice of you. I'm like, well, it'd be nicer of a fucking conglomerate. I'm fucking, she wasn't texting. The monopoly that is, the improvs and funny balls. Yeah. To pick up a check for one of their customers that they're daughter got no car accident. No, but I got it.

You're the nice guy. That's all that matters. Yeah, yeah, there you go. So I hope they're all right. So anyways, what do we got? We got any good fan, bad fan? Yeah, but before we do that, we should tell the audience to follow us on all social media, platforms, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on YouTube as part of us there.

Also, get the app. The Robert Kelly's, you know what dude app on iOS and Google Play Store, get the app and enjoy all of the exclusive content offered to you if you go premium. A lot of fans are coming out and say, hey, I'm premium. It's like, you know, almost a bad job that you want to do. Yeah. So you want to support the show. Go get premium.

Just sign up. Get the app for free. And all the shows come right to your app. You don't have to do anything else. Just open our app up and you listen to all the shows. We got a bunch of, we got a bunch of shows up there now. We got like five or six shows behind the paywall. We're putting more up.

I'm going to be doing interviews in the next couple of months. And you know, it's, I mean, everybody's happy with it. So become a premium member. Support the show. Get the app. All right. Good fun, Beth. Let's go.

And now it's time for some good friend. Bad fan. Oh, do you have something in your bar fire? Is there something in your mouth? Oh, you can't do accents. I just channeled inner, what's that movie called? Indifference? Irving Cowboy. Good bar, mine. What's that movie where the guy gets raped like a pig? Squirrel like a pig.

Every point of, I get it. Clity.com. You having sex in the mirror? It's called the You know, it's funny that you bring that up. I fell off the wagon today. I fell out yesterday. I keep falling off You drank no for masturbation. No, I ate fat Whoa, we wouldn't put that past you. Oh, come on. I hope you both fucking die in the van We're gonna cancel your show Hey, man, don't you if you try and fail don't fucking blame it on me Did this podcast like a bomb Dana like thing that we could throw around?

Yeah, we do right here. There we go. There's the right. I am Deliverance I Had a hamburger downstairs mac and cheese french fries. I fucked off Right Everyone last night. I fucking had cereal and I had a fight what I fucking took what brand is a good topic I feel so sad what brand? Because you don't feel good because you ate shitty, but that's okay. I took a gay a bag a lot of the garbage What is it sign felt eaten donut out of the garbage?

No, she had she had bagels she got on Sunday. Bagels on Sunday. Yes, her it was Monday. She threw them out yesterday in the brown paper bag. And I dug through the garbage it to like party. The garbage can't make that noise. When you reach into it to grab a bagel. I'm so sad. I ripped it out of the bag out of the garbage.

Where was the bagel located in the bottom of the bag? No. It was in the middle bottom left in the back. And I dug it out. Was there anything wet in the garbage? The bag wasn't wet, but my hand had to go through some stuff. All right, see, fish a bagel out. What kind of bagel are we talking about here? Is this what you look? If it was a plane, I'm going to be pissed. It's an egg bagel. Of course, I was going for a plane. It was egg bagel. Egg is plain. That's not egg is the best. So sweeter, sweeter. So I got it and there

was some strawberry cream cheese and that fucking, that Irish butter, the Irish butter. You know the real yellow butter? So I did that and then I fucking, and then I ate that with strawberry cream cheese and regular cream cheese. And then I had a bowl of cereal. What's new? Dude, sugar bomb.

Throw it down the color, baby. Come on. I know don't any honey crunch. Yeah, but she keeps the honey honey honey bunch of oats. Oh, okay That's not too bad regular. I think it's worse coffee. I've ever had in my life She and she gets her from life. She gets it from cafe ripoff next door. Yeah, you're an ass. Just go Downstairs downstairs they'll do it for me. Yes! All right. I did. I've never been downstairs.

I just go to Cafe. All right. The rich. Good fan, bad fan. Let's go. All right, our first good fan says, I'll give you one second. It is by Sir Deos.

Sir Deos. It was a five star review in iTunes. He says, he says says love the podcast, makes work more tolerable, a personal must have. That's great. Thank you, buddy. Just pull up the good fans. That's great. There you go. That's right. You get four stars. There you go. Bruce, our first bad fans is a comment by gruesome fate. And he says, do some sit-ups, Kelly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what? I think if he's got a point, I really feel like shit. I think we should do a YKWD workout day. I could go one day. No, a challenge. The YKWD workout challenge. Yeah, and what is it? And what is that?

I'll think it up. And next week we compete to lose in the most number of pounds by a certain date. Yes, I'll get someone in here. They'll take our measurements. We can get a scale. We don't need a whole other person. We can scale. All right, I'll bring a scale. And what is this person magically know how to weigh people? I mean, what are you, what is this person? And we're going to take it seriously. I'm going to chart it. And we're going to make it, don't fart in my face.

Oh, keep farting in her face. I'm loving it. The serious look as you push it out is the best part. Yeah. All right. All right. So the YKW challenge is going to happen. All right, whatever.

I need to do something because I'm falling off. I'm falling off. I'm relapsing bad. All right. But there's got to be a reward at the end. Yeah, I get to see your ass. Titt. All right.

One titt. One titt, just him. To the boss of you. One titt, yeah. Scopus missing out there. Hahaha. Murrous Scopus. I don't know.

Is he? Yeah, no, he's great. Oh, good, good. All right, check in with him. Yeah, I do. Of course he does. There were pals. Some bud. He's doing good. Is he? Yeah, no, he's great. Oh, good, good. All right, check in with him. Yeah, I do. Of course, he does. They're a pals.

It's fun. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. What's he doing? What do you mean he's doing good? I don't know. He's doing good.

I don't know. I mean, we wanted to fail a little bit. We don't want him to do great. I don't know, he's still scopal, but. Like the show is keeping him back. This is like Bell Check trying to prove he can still win without Brady when he doesn't have him. Listen, Scopes great. Okay, we'll get him in.

All right, then, no, I'm happy. Yeah, I'm happy. All right. We don't have to have him. No, absolutely. This coffee stinks. What else we got? Our second good fan.

Actually, is a guy asshole, his name is asshole. And he says, please band that guy, he looks like a transmutation of Alex Jones and Roland from being on the show. Also, we love you Bobby, but take those stupid glasses off. Thanks. Yeah, I can't read. Here's a problem with you.

Uh-huh. Some people can't read without glasses. I lost my ability to read. I just can't read anymore. You know, the text is too small and blurry, far away, blah, blah, blah. So I have to wear these glasses on. I apologize that my eyes, I'm 46.

My eyesight is gone and I have to wear glasses. So suck a dick. And I think you look good with the glasses. I know, it's stylish. It's people as soon as somebody does anything different, somebody's got a comment on it and say, dude, fucking dude, dude, you're fucking wearing ties now. It's like, go fuck yourself.

You should be in my, where would I be the fuck you want? Where would I be you want? Anything you want to wear, you can fucking wear. And there you go. So my glasses, do I wear my glasses all the time now? I don't have I don't have to But I have to to read and sometimes I have to read on this fucking show South semila. He's a bad fan

Well, I mean, you know not a bad fan, but go ahead. Okay our second Sorry third fan says Instant coffee maniacs says why does Bobby and assistant having shelves of a thrift store behind him? This is bad fan bad fan. I actually I forgot to I put a bad fan in the good fan column. Whoa give me a fucking good fan 28 Skadoo says, this is my favorite podcast. That's it, you just made it up.

I did just make that up. You're an asshole. Fuck off. We got Joe list here, everybody. Hey, Joe list is here, everybody. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Of course.

That's a fan, right? Oh good, I was gonna say, he looks, there's not one funny thing about him visually. I was like, who do you? You you get to his haircut from where you are? You can't. Ed, you have it parted down the side and then come back. I've never seen that. It's a double, it's a double.

How do you do that? It's part, like push head down. It's parted down the middle and then in the front, it's a popper door. It's like push back and down the middle. That's that's that's a lot of hair Welcome welcome to the show Yeah, the mic's not as a mic hot talking to the mic sir Turn it off talk to me talk to me. It's not up. I got nothing. You got nothing? I Got nothing from him Talk to me, talk to me. It's not up. I got nothing. You got nothing?

I got nothing from him. Ha ha ha. How's that? Is that better? Joe? I hear everything, but now I'm too hot. I hear, I don't hear his mic. Oh no, we got his mic. I think his mic wasn't on.

Oh, there we go. No, no. Yep. He's up. A little more, come on. Hey, hello, there you go. Right there. There he is.

What's your name? Stephen, hi Stephen, where you from? Syracuse? Ha ha ha. Younger. Younger, same shit. I'm actually, I live up near There it is. What's your name? Stephen. Hi, Stephen. What are you from Syracuse? Yonkers, same shit. I'm actually, I live up near Yonkers, up near Ardzli. Yeah, let me just let's Westchester. How do you like Yonkers? It's good. I grew up in the Bronx. Wow. So you're a bunch of tough neighborhood. No, not really. You might have been the last white guy to grow up in the Bronx. Yeah, wow. That's exciting. That explains the hair. I think so.

It's like a Italian afro. Do you have, do you have, are there any dogs talking to you and Yonkers? Is that what he's from? Yeah, Berkowitz. Berkowitz did it. From there, it lived there and he's a Yonkers guy. Is that what they caught him?

Yeah, this house. Where are Yonkers is that? I'd love to go see that. Oh, you have no idea. You have no history about yonkers. Not at all. Really, you grew up the whole life from... You know, Bronx. Oh, wow, okay.

Because of music. What part of the Bronx, the White Park? But, did you, yeah. White Plains? By the zoo. By the zoo. Yeah. That was racist.

Won't get it all out now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We had to. I can't leave Mike Feney's late. This is the biggest day of his life. So that's right. Okay. So here's how he's coming up and he's late. Is he late? Where is he? It's time is it? It's 3.49.

Where is he? He's late. Scopo, where is he? Oh, see how they, anyway. All right. So he's late. Wait, where's my phone? We would just, it's plugged in.

She plugged it in for you somewhere. That's right here. Oh, sorry. She's sitting face up. I gotta put it on airplane mode if it's gonna be... She, um... You know what I mean? Yeah, put it on airplane mode.

See, that's a nice person. Everybody else comes in here and talks on their fucking phones. Mm-hmm. Right? Um... We were talking about... You had a good fan, bad fan. He gave me, of course, because his people gave had a good fan, bad fan. He gave me, of course, because his people gave me

two bad fan, bad fan. Bad fan? No, bad, well, that's a bad fan, bad fan. But he gave me two bad fans. He's supposed to give me a good fan. You know, there's so many things I want to read, but they're all anti-something. Yeah, but well, you can find something nice.

You delivered that like fucking captain Kirk. There's so many things I want to read. But someone will be bad. You can find something nice. You delivered that like fucking captain Kirk. There's so many things I want to read. But something went bad. Joseph Felix says, Joel is sexy. Oh, thank you. I got a haircut. Where did he say that? He just now.

In the chat room. That's not a good thing. I mean, that's a good fan now. You're supposed to have good fan before Joe comes up. Well, I tried, but. Let him know I'm covering my teeth. The first of all. I'm working on my packet for NBC.

I'm a little busy. NBC not a show just a network. Just the network. What are you doing? There's a late night submission thing going on. So what? You submit two pages of monologue jokes, two pages of refillable bits and two SNL sketches.

And what do you do? You submit them and hopefully if you get picked, you get to be a part of the late night workshop. I so hope they pick you. I hope. I'll probably still be around and if you allow it. Okay. Hey, Mike Feney's here, everybody.

Mike Feney brought in a sniper rifle or a poker set. It is the Borneultimatum today. What is that, Mike Feney? Poker set. What? Mike Feney, why do you, in those surface well, I want you to take your confidence and stick it in your ass off,

because I don't, I know you're good looking. I know you're a tall, good looking young boy, but it means nothing to me. Listen to me, why you have a poker set and why is your hair perfect? Yeah, there it's a genetic thing, but in terms of the poker set, I'm doing a little poker after the standup.

Oh, New York. So you're trying to make a little money, so you can stay in the city and not have to go get a day job. Is that your day job? Just a bunch of comics, you know? I remember when I used to be into poker chips. That is a stage of comedy. It's like, do we should get together on Tuesday afternoon?

I'm doing some poker over at Eddie Cajigiel's house. Yeah. Well, you're welcome anytime. No, I'm good. You play at Stand Up New York in the Lebs. Oh, wow. Yeah. I think we'll be playing while you're doing your show.

Where's your show? Listening. I'm listening. It's my show. He was trying to get his phone hooked up. What you're doing your Tuesdays with stories today? Tonight, eight o'clock, PM, five. So you're doing your show,, you're doing that at the,

at the standup New York. Standup New York, live. It's great if you're on ride cast, you're doing that village underground, two on a seat room. I think we could probably make that happen even still. Oh my God, make it happen. We got Leonard Utson.

You know Leonard Utson, have you had Leonard Utson? I'm doing a show, yeah, he can only turn left and right, very slowly. Oh. And we got Samantha Ruddy, what about Ruddy, have you ever heard? I had, I had let him to have to sit in this seat so we could do the And we got some at the running. What about Ruddy? Have I ever heard? I had let him have to sit in the seat so we could do the podcast without hurting his neck.

What neck? Two Shay. No, I'm doing a show at Leonard on Thursday. We're doing my half-eater down in Tampa. That sounds Muslim. Me, him, Jo Koi, and what's that Carlos Mincee. Oh, wow, yeah legends Well a couple Legendary for different things. Yeah, it should be a fun, but Lenny. Yeah, I like let it. He's on your show tonight

Yeah, he's on the show tonight. We got Samantha. Ready. Do you know Samantha? Ready? I do know. Yeah, yeah Yeah, but a young upstart in this town. She's an upstart and she's hilarious. She's got great jokes and She's wonderful. We got Leonard. It's gonna be fun. I've never been on your show We've invited you to be on the show never I never ever ever Ridiculous show me the text or the email you have an open invite to do our show You can't just come on our tonight Store my love. Are you kidding me? I would kill to have you tonight. I've been farting since I sat down. I would love to have you tonight.

Will you do tonight? We usually have three guests we have two right now. I can't do it tonight. You know what, two. How where me and Leonard gonna fit? No, no, it's one at a time. It's like guest spots. Now he'll go over and then he'll cut into my time.

So you're saying you do not want to do the show? Tonight. You're saying you don't want to do the show. I can't do it tonight. All right, I thought I didn't know you're gonna fucking whip it out. I didn't know you're gonna you do not want to do the show tonight. You're saying you don't want to do it tonight I thought I didn't know you're gonna fucking whip it out. I didn't know you're gonna be like tonight I thought you're gonna put I'd like to be formally booked all right. Well, this would have been formal But there's a formal. It's kind of in prompt two people. Do you want to do it? Just kidding I think I'm excited for one second. I went, oh my God.

No, I would have you, but we got to, it's everything's a team. It's like the mustard tears. I got a confirmed by Mark and he's a, but yeah, the story of my life is great, but it would just take the whole show. What, so, so, but you're going to have a poker game. Well, he's forwarding his career. You'll be playing poker. Yeah, but I mean, there's, it'll be all comics. You know what I mean? Yeah, all comics that are. I'm not. It's really not like what you guys do for the fucking the 2017. We played poker. We had a poker night. It's a good time up there.

Yeah. Who's playing the game with you? Uh, let's see. We got my cannon is going to be a John Fattigate. Of course, the stand-up labs director there. Of course. Firecher. Yeah, we have he owns it

Yeah, yeah, the labs part of the whole thing I think he came up with it and now didn't they have somebody else you would probably be able to speak to this Yeah, there's a bunch of people that own it and hold on to our money for us I have your money. Did you get make do you make money? Yeah, we just got paid here. What you get? We made 300 bucks each. Over four years, that's not bad. It's PS3. You guys make PS3?

Yeah. Not even PS4, PS3. You two make more money than they do. They have a Patreon. It's that excited. You guys get paid? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah, you guys get paid. All right. All I'm entering in my fifth year here. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Literally half a decade. Did you know I've been here for half a decade, Bob? It's pretty crazy. That's crazy.

Deepo was in diapers. Deepo diapers. No, no, no, no, no. There was just his bum hair. Yeah, Lauren was married. I mean, it's very unbelievable. She was married, though. I know, forever that time.

She her whole life was set. Yeah. She had a house, a husband. I had a pension. Yeah, a pension. Now you have glasses? No, I have nothing. Now she have glasses. Now I have nothing. Now she has glasses.

She does a show of more at stand-up labs. You don't have nothing. You have a very nice teeth. Oh, thank you, Joe. You're welcome. I find you quite charming. Oh, great. Why are you staring at me?

I'm seeing if I see it. I don't. I don't find the charm. I know I love you. Michael. Yes. How long have you been doing comedy? Since I guess regularly since 2009 2010. Oh no shit. Yeah, okay, man

Well, we were just talking about before you guys stepped in which is pretty first wife I fell off the wagon this weekend But it's okay with food Oh, that's it. And a lot of the why that's like gap there. Yeah, that could be anything. Well, it's like, it's like a very different show. I felt like when I told people my grandfather died, never just like, oh, that's so bad. And then they're like, hold is him?

Like he's 101. They're like, oh, go fuck yourself. It doesn't matter. It's not easy. The man, listen, food is fucking hard for me, man. Yeah. Yes, the murder. It's a fucking drug for me.

And I fell off this weekend I fell off and then I fell off yesterday last night. I I went on a total binge. I ate a bag a lot of the garbage Out of the garbage. Yes, you threw it away and then my wife hooked him away and they were in a bag Of course at the bottom, but I dug him out Yeah, you know the bag was moist enough for it to open up as I pulled on it. And then the bagel came out. I grabbed the bagel and I ate it. But you topped it.

And then I topped it with strawberry cheese. Strawberry cheese. Strawberry cream cheese and regular cream cheese and then Irish butter. And then I ate it and then I had cereal. And then today I ate with Joe and I had fucking a cheeseburger and I acted like, oh, I'm going on, I'm just, fuck it, it's my choice.

But you feel terrible now about it, physically? I feel like I just saw myself on the monitor. I want to die. Yeah, I do. That's the worst part, because when you're eating it, it feels amazing. Even if you know it's not, you know? And Mike knows about eating it.

Are you? I'm joking. Mike, don't knows about eating it. I'm joking. I'm joking. Don't take anything into that. It works as a pun. Can we talk about the Aaron Glazer thing right now? Oh, wow. I'm fucking hilarious. There's man's a thin ice here and you're... I'm literally opening up.

I thought we finished up. People keeps things in wholesters. Wait, I just want to let you know. We're going to do the YKWD Fitness challenge and we're going to get you in check. Every week we're going to check in and we're going to do this. Yeah, like yeah, that's going to work. I tell you, I worked out with another regular here Aaron Berg yesterday. Yeah, I did.

Did you guys, did you do the lovers push up from Stavro, baby? No, like naked on top of each other and didn't kiss on the way out. He would have just, he would have just enveloped me, I think. But we went, it did an hour and 45 minutes. He does an hour, 40 minutes, just legs. And I've never, I don't work. What? Yeah, just, just like, and I-

You're gonna be able to pump when you're riding a guy's cock. You're gonna be able to bounce up and out without pulling a hand. You're gonna be able to pull it out. 100 minutes of legs? Yeah, and it was, and it was another comic there, Nick Z, who's also like built, you know, like a bigger dude. And Nick Z. What does it mean, A meeting?

He's a, but anyway, all this is said. I just tell you this, there's no comic bodybuilders that ever made it. And in fact, if you get too big, like you get booted out of the business. Yeah, I mean, you can. Name one. Rogan might be the biggest guy.

Rogan, yeah, one. There's one. He's not a bodybuilder, he's a the biggest guy Rogan. Yeah, one. There's a bodybuilder He's a flash yeah his body. He has the perfect comic body Well, do you think that's because I just say that a lot Do you think that's because people like you're already not you know people hate you the second you walk on stage because you're Two in shape and attractive you think that's what that, when you're too big and you're exposing it, you're immediately, that's what you are. Yeah, they sum you up in a saddle.

This guy's a fucking meathead. But it also could be a thing. Joe Piscopo. The guy with the mindset who've like, I'm gonna build my body so it's huge. Might just not be have the awareness and vulnerability to be a good strong comic those personalities don't always mix I'm not saying Aaron Berg is not a great one and he's in one of those guys where I don't even know where he finds

I don't know where he finds the time he goes there for two hours a day and then he does six shows a night it's like get a wife with a real job yeah well he's but she's a she's a kid in it was the joke that she's funnier than her. And I thought, there's a lot of cigars. But yeah, I know, I mean, I literally, when I saw the staircase to come up here, I'm in so much pain, I almost just was gonna go home. Like I can't, I can't get up steps from the,

I'm so incredibly miserable. I have no choice but to make it, I have to slowly turn side, I have to do physics around boxes. I have my backpack on, I have to hold it over my head, like a Marine going through a swamp in Vietnam. To get up these fucking hallway is a nightmare for me. And then I come here and I gotta, every time I slip into this little spot,

I gotta shut every light off and unplug nine headphones. That's a fucking nightmare. How old were you? You look like Dick Van Dyke, like a young Dick Van Dyck. I haven't had that one before. That's really good. Yeah, you're welcome. Take it.

Well, how old were you when it started? You're a mom. You're a mom. I'm sorry. One of my matapp, when I was six. Really? No, I was six grade. I've seen you when you were doing comedy younger.

Six grade was my first fat. Shredded out. First fat. It was my first fat. Six grade. What It was my first fat six grade. What happened? You should have heard I got startled. Well, you're right. Did you get touched by a ghost? It's it touch that yamanica I get nervous. Why? Yamanica can be very confrontational. No, she's not well. We're gonna bring up the stuff with

God, don't bring anything up. Can you just lift your cheek towards deep who? Why? Why you deserve it? anything up. Can you just lift your cheek towards deep. Why why you deserve it? I'm basking in your parts. I thought that should for fucking two years. You keep hard her face. I have very bad gas because I was sick last night. Well I've been eating night shit last night and all that carbs and then I had all this medication and that medication carb parts are the worst. Yeah. They're just grumpy and just... They sound wet. Yeah, a little wet. You sound wet.

I know. So, is she here? She's on her way. She's walking. Yep. I just buzzed her. Oh, she's coming. Okay, good.

Let her in. Let's go. Hey! Yama! Nick. What's up, baby? Yama, you can see everybody. Yeah. What are you doing? God bless you. God bless all of us. How was the stairs? Did you like the stairs? That you work out? Yes. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, mama. You're right in the middle. Sorry, baby. We just talked.

I was doing good on my diet and last night I fucking lost it. I went through the garbage for a bagel my wife throughout. Really? Why don't you just have extra bagels around? I'm not supposed to have them. So she threw them out to help me. You got to have a stash. What the fact kid monster ball. Yeah, you have a little stash when you have here's what I do because 2017 I'm going to be the fitness I've ever been in my life. I love it. All right. Yeah, I don't know if it's going to happen, but I'm going to keep saying it. Your motivation

makes my need a bagel. Well, how the workout clothes? This is like the arbitrary fat bitch really not gonna workout, but got the workout clothes on. You know, you know, a chick's not working on what she has lipstick on. And her hair's big. No, my trainer's really cute. He's cute. Listen to me.

First of all, hold your hands up again. Let me see this. Those things right there, that little thumb, I'm gonna say this and I don't care what you say about me. I fucking love when I get hoodies with those. I love my little thumbs going through those things. Yeah, I love those. When you roll up your sleeves, you put the coat on.

Yeah. Keeps it pulled down. That's true, that's like a fighter. Joe, you look like you jog all the time, don't you jog? I used to run adamantly, but I have planar fasci yitis and it's derailed my running career. It's fucking sucks But I do you work out a lot did you get the souls I got the souls and I got I had soul before Did you stop? Where is it

He hasn't happened So Doesn't happen There you go boom, they got the souls and the special sneaks and I'm trying to walk less and scratch But it's hard. It's a it's what you call it chronic Well, I had it for a while too. You sure it's not something you're eating I don't think so does pussy give it to you Shelfish Shelfish I'm shelf less sight. Shelfish. I don't know where you can sit up. Shelfish. I'm shelf less.

I'll eat a lot of pussy. Shelf less, like self less. I got it. What's there? I got it there. Well, anyways. Anyways, um. Someone in chat says, in a perfect world,

Joe and Yamenika would be a couple. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Well, this is not a perfect world. Yeah, I'm engaged. But. Oh, you guys, I never hear anything. You know what I feel like?

I feel like I am. What do they call the liaison? Nine things just came through my mind. I'm not gonna say because you'd beat me up. No, it's a kinder Yamaniika this year. Oh, stop it. First of all, what did you get a deal? What?

What? What? What? What? Who talked to you? You got something going on. I may or might have anything going on. Yeah, you got it. I'm not kidding. Because I saw you Facebook ran to slowing down, too.

I told you so. Let me tell you so. Get smarter, fucker, and going nowhere. Let me tell you. You got going nowhere. I can't. Let me tell you, you gotta deal, you got some. I don't have any. You're whitenin' it up. What's goin' on?

I don't know, I feel like I'm sweating a lot. Yeah, you are. You're gonna water, we got water right there. Yeah, your water's right there, baby. Can you get in a napkin, too? No, I was saying I didn't know that you were engaged, but I feel like I'm the liaison. I'm not a napkin, you're fuckin' an asshole.

It's real sweet. Oh my God, this is great. Thank you, is this a dinner napkin? I love it. I feel like I'm the liaison. Nine napkins, you're fucking awesome. It's worth a swing. Oh my god, this is great. Thank you. Is this the dinner napkin? I love it. Yeah. I feel like I'm the liaison between the black and white comedy community. Oh, I see.

So I'm going to take the news back to the blacks. Well, we've been gay. We got talking about it. You might have forgotten. We got engaged like a long time ago. Did you? Yes. I haven't heard about this engagement.

And I see you guys all the time. Uh, it's been a while. September of last year, he. Oh, it's been a while September of last year He oh September I was going through a real edible crisis Edible edible you said in the wrong way like edible weed. Yeah, oh really yeah black lives matter go No, I'm kidding No, and I feel like I just did listen with essence so I should know I have an answer ready

I feel like I just did something with essence so I should know I have an answer ready Essence magazine. Yes. That's great. They're gonna do a TV show. No. Oh, you're gonna do something with the magazine. They have Essence live now. Well, here's the thing when you go with when you're with essence or a magazine like that There's they have to they're still politically correct. Yes, do you feel you didn't do you feel that you have to? Keep yourself and check a little bit because, Yamanika, one of your things is that you don't, you kind of say what the fuck you want. I'm watching you.

When you're alive on the Facebook, Honey Baby Girl with your little bandana, right? Yeah. Cause you sleep with your hair up in the band-in. I'm watching you. Yeah. I wake up in a mood all the time. I wake up, the dream has forced me to want to say something

Here's where I am. I am very politically incorrect But I grew up in an environment where I didn't I was already politically incorrect just being who I am yeah, and At some point in time when I was on Meredith I think I was very quiet Quiet her yeah, because people who had their eyes on me didn't know who I really was. Can I say something?

And this is an observation. Yes. And this is gonna sound rude. Oh no. It's gonna sound, it's gonna sound mean. Oh, maybe, maybe racist, but on these shows when they pick the people, Yes.

They always cast the same group. What do you mean? Well, they always have like a a a bigger black girl, right? For I don't know why I don't know why SAS and they always find some Mid-ranged girl, right and they always have the widest white girl like the Republican Barbie doll. I don't understand that well, yeah ever all the shows do that, except what's the... Sign filled.

Okay. Is that right? Am I odd-aligned, saying that? No, I don't think you're odd-aligned. I think what happens is that diminishes my part and getting my role on there. Right. Because I came in as, they didn't even know

they were gonna do a panel. Right. And when they decided they wanted to do a panel Yeah, I was on promoting another show that I was on which is funny girls funny girls. What's that one? It's on oxygen was that a talk show? No, it was about comedians. What was it nobody watched it? We know But it's actually launched my career in many many ways right funny Yes on oxygen you guys can go back and watch it. They're playing career in many, many ways. Right, funny ones. Yes, on oxygen. You guys can go back and watch it. They're playing it in Canada.

Right. But I'll be there on January 21st. I want you to watch an episode of Funny Girls there. And let me know. I will. It was, my name was a joke about the inauguration moving to Canada. I'll just keep holding on to this bandana.

So can I say something? That joke was too good. I think you guys can, not in this room. I think I would have worked on like a Marin or Rogan. That would have worked on another podcast. You know what sucks about that? It bombed and now I have to get the tweets from your fucking people with guns in their icon. Be like, yeah, go ahead and leave, you faggot.

So I bombed and have to get shit from these people. Well, first of all, my fans right now, so they hate me. First thing, big black with an opinion. That's pay, I'm hat, I'm mostly like. They love Patrice. They love Patrice. He's back black in opinion. Listen man, no, they do not, the first of all, my fans, the ones who like my show.

You got some of them. I got a couple not a lot, dude. I've weeded a lot of, a lot of my fans are fucking great and they go and follow you I love you and they love me. They'll like you a little I'm in here with the Bradhat wig. I don't think anybody's gonna know this this is rady for it's my workout wig I'm workout wig wait a minute you put a wig on like a hat Yeah, you have you have different wait this is so fascinating to me. You have workout wigs? Yes. So, like if you, okay, so you wake up in the morning,

you're going to work out, that's your wig. Yes. So here's the thing, I'm natural underneath here, and my hair is going through a process right now. What is it? So it has to be tied down and oiled up at all times, right? I'm putting cocoa oil, tea oil, all those things. I'm trying to. I'm trying to.

I'm trying to grow out my fro. So right now my hair is being protected. It's in a protective spot. Are you gonna have a big fro someday? I have a huge fro now, but it's not long, so I'm growing my hair out. So you're gonna have a big, big fro. Yeah.

And you're gonna let it be curly? Like Questlove? No, it's gonna be like, you know, real kinky and naughty. Like, I like it. Ooh. Kinky and naughty. I love, I love, I love Afro. I love Afro, man.

I love a girl with an Afro. You have been with a girl with an Afro? Never once. I got it. Shocked out of nut by a choice. You can't run your hands through, you have to pat her head. You have to pat her head.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't touch your head. I know what, there's a book about that. You can touch run your hands through. You have to pat her hands. You have to pat her hands. Oh, yeah. But you can't touch the hands. I don't know why. There is a book about that. You can touch the hair if it's an afro. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

Well, his, it's racist now. What? Don't come up to me and ask me, can you touch my hair? Like, I'm a pet. Nobody wants to be asked that. Like, here's somebody in the zoo on display. But if you know me and you think my hair is beautiful, you go, hey, girl, let me just touch out.

You don't got to hurt me. Can I tell you that kind of thing? Like girl, it's just so beautiful. Let me just, can I tell you though, I go through that too, be it having a bald head, people coming to me and they all,

they just start rubbing my head. Like I'm a fucking bullet. But they are aggressively rubbing your head. So it's like, dude, you gotta relax. You can't just come to me and start rubbing my head. Does it make your head here leg tap a little bit when like a dude, you gotta relax. You can't just come to me and start rubbing my head. Does it make your leg tap a little bit when a sensor in you goes off? Like a shit too?

Oh no, it's gotta be like some nerves up there that expose like, oh hold up. You feel like you get a lot more kisses on the top of the head, that people can't help it. No, I get nothing. I get nothing. I've never been around a woman's basketball team.

Ha ha ha ha. The, I know what Joe's thinking right now. Mine got nothing, my joke didn't get any. around a woman's basketball team. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha just threw laughs out there. I don't know if anyone got that. I actually know that it got too much laughs. I knew that was way too much. I'm not even trying to be mean. I didn't, I sincerely didn't understand what you were talking about. Well, there you go. Let's move on. Okay.

I think also the personality behind it was extraordinary. Are you guys in a, I think you guys in a fuck? I'm in a fuck. I'm in a fuck. I'm in a fuck. Well, Yamannika, I would fuck Yamann Manika. What I'm fucking this is a sexual harassment I actually like sexual harassment Yeah, despite what women say I say a lot of the reason why Trump was elected is because ugly women are having a time a mood

And they couldn't get together women are having a time, a mood. And they couldn't get together. Ugly women and their moods cause political andarchy in this country. Oh, you can't say anything about a woman's breast. Look how they got on Steve Martin because he said that Kerry was, it was, it was, it was beautiful.

How dare he acknowledge that she's beautiful. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Everybody wants to be sexually You know look that in a way men like to for their muscles with it women they breast they have breasts As you know you want yeah, I want to be I want to be raped by a woman. Yeah, not raped, but you know You know what I mean? I want someone to really come at it. Smack me around a little bit, you know what I mean? You can't picture Sarah doing that.

No, I know I got the sweetest girl in the world. We have a wonderful sex life, but I'd like someone to step on my balls and fish my ass a little bit, you know, spit in my eyes. You guys have to get a ringer and- What's a ringer? That somebody comes in and takes care of businessfully. Yeah, I'm going for it.

Wow, a kind of extra person. Yeah, I don't want anyone touching her. I just want to- Wow, you don't get a ringer. So if you If you get one you're gonna look over and see Dante one day I want to feed me. I don't want some guy beat me up. Well, you got to let the girl touch her. How's she gonna get a rouse? Have she's a lot of stuff. I'm looking at me. Oh I mean, you know, sure she is, but I mean like you want if we're all stepping it up a notch Let us step it up a notch too. All right. All right. You can't step up from me. I'm doing she is, but I mean, like you want, we're all stepping it up a notch. Let her step it up a notch too.

All right, all right. You can't step up from me. I'm doing a great job. Hey, let me ask question, Yoms. What do you like? You have a boyfriend? Absolutely not. You know, I'm a single black woman.

That's on my birth certificate. No man in sight. You know, how you doing back there? You all right? Okay. Every time I'm in the Bronx, every time somebody finds out I'm single as a male, and I go, how you doing? They look finds out I'm single as a male and I go how you doing?

They look down I'm very aggressive as a woman Yeah, yeah, and that's the problem. I can't find a man it can like La la la. What did you say? We both need the same thing? We both need to be beat You both need a downtime if I wasn't with my wife I'd fucking I'd tell you what's what we would be the best couple around I'd fucking tell you what's what you'd be the funniest couple We be the funniest couple around. I'd fucking tell you what's up. You'd be the funniest couple. We'd be the funniest couple. Very supportive. You know, I would support your dreams.

You would try to support mine. I would support your dreams. I'd let your dreams be bigger than mine. I'll stay home. Baby, I'll stay home. Yeah. You would even, I'll carry your bags. He would even talk blacker than he normally does.

Just now. Hey, don't step on my dreams boo. No, I wish this was a reality. I wish it was a, it really should be a reality. What? You live in a world where 1-800 cars for kids exist. That song, you motherfucking. I know, no one's start singing it.

Ruin it. It's a fucking... Come on! Come on! Me think of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cars for kids. It's a shitty thing for me. It's a bad, seven cars cause again. That's a shitty thing.

That's shit. That's shit. That's shit. Donate your car today. Shit. Boom. You got to sing a whole song. I'm gonna try to make it out.

What would you prefer? What would you like? What would you want to dominate a guy or vice versa? Which is your preference? I'm sure you could do both. I mean, I didn't even have to be honest. Jesus Christ. What I like, I didn't even have to be serious. I, what I like is I like a guy who is assertive and a man.

And I don't want to have to diminish who I am as a woman for him to be assertive. Unfortunately, I've been not hitting the right balance with that, I've been getting a lot of punk ass motherfuckers in my life. So I'm just being a strong woman in 2017 and I'm gonna see what comes around. I also lock myself out with women,

the higher up we get, the less likely we are to find love because the guys that are in our circle are the married, a gay, are they like, you know, your boss. So you know what I mean? It's like, it's hard. I'm gonna go in a second. You say, mm-hmm, yeah, one more time. I think I'm gonna go in there.

I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there.

I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there.

I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna go in there. They're so dumb and then I have to play the submissive role to this They're so stupid and aggressive I don't think guys I don't think guys I don't think men or women like that like Joe everybody wants to no one wants Someone to just like lay there and be submissive everybody wants Oh, no, I'm in out there that want this dumb bitch Yeah, like every kid is in it like they think that's the only girl that can get they dick hard It's some bitches like hold a slippers or I think like I have no like it's like every get it, it's in it. Like they think that's the only girl that can get they dick hard.

It's some bitches like hold a slippers or I think like I have no, like it's you wake me up out of my coma. I have it live. Yeah. And it's like I've done a lot of fucking living. I gotta get back to where I was. Because I have things on the line. Can we talk about 2017?

I thought 2017 was gonna be a positive. I'm so you know. No, I went back. No back now you know I'm so close to that 2016 bitch I got a go girl go bitch So I don't even know what that I just do literally No, you said men and I like Because like it's it's you know what it is I've been telling women this to and now this is not to say that I haven't made a lot of dumb All you bitches got to do what no, I'm telling you I've made a lot of mistakes and there's a lot of things I had to take responsibility for but in 2017 What I've told myself and I have five other girlfriends who are doing it with me no men this

Year No, no, no, no, can I say something? Yes, you can, but I'm not saying no to you. I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say that's the dumbest thing you've ever done. No. I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna tell you why.

First of all, when you make it a woman group thing, you shut the fuck up. I don't like this new lore. Here's a camera. Far down there. No, wait, give me some hat. No, no. No, when you do that, okay, what you should do is take care of yourselves individually.

You don't need a support group to fucking, well, no man this year, that's stupid. Cause first of all, five of you girls are in on this, you're not all gonna make it. You're not all gonna make it. One of you, two of you, three, you're gonna break. One of you's gonna make it through the month. So you're gonna be the guy and be like,

I fuck you, girls. So now what you got is a lying bitch. Now you're gonna hate her. So now she has no friends because her group, she turned on you, you turned on, and then, and then, then what are you guys gonna, like, I'm gonna use them too. Now you get to seat and fucking paranoia and lies

Do you watch any show women I mean raising that and any knots landing anything Women all get together to do one mate It reminds me of that episode of star ski and hutch Another show that was off the air for a while I have I have a my fan base goes from 25 to 68 Oh, that's awesome. So I might be able to find some dick at a youth pool. Yeah, it's not gonna work Be there, but they say when you stop looking that's when you find I don't need to put on a skirt. I don't need to put on a skirt. I just need to be there. But they say when you stop looking,

that's when you find the person. Let me tell you something. When I found my girl, I'll tell you this. I found my wife, and my wife is probably the perfect wife for me, because she allows me to be the fuck up that I am, but she still loves me, but she'll tell me to go fuck myself when I need to be told to be my wife.

That's the type of woman you need, yeah? Right, she will, you know, she'll fight me. She almost fought me one day. Physically, almost scared me. Oh, I don't know what I've loved to see now. Does she know about the bagels? No, no, she doesn't. And she doesn't listen to anything I do.

I know I could literally call her the fucking just a dumb cont on this and she'll never know. No, she doesn't listen. No, she doesn't listen. Someone will tweet at her. Nobody's gonna have Twitter. I don't, she doesn't have Twitter, she doesn't talk with. She doesn listen. No, she doesn't listen. Some of them will tweet at her. Nobody's gonna have Twitter. She doesn't have Twitter.

She doesn't talk with... She doesn't play with... She doesn't play... She doesn't... She's a regular square, dude. I've talked to her. She don't fuck. Why does she have Twitter?

Because she's a human being that doesn't need... Well, human being... I looked at my grandma. That's the crazy she ain't got Twitter. I'm like, what's my grandma? You went to hospital, can't tell nobody. Because you ain't got no fucking Twitter. And you wasted my time on which bullshit.

2017. I know, I forgot that. Go, girl, go, go. She keeps whispering in my ear. See me alone. Talk about grandma Twitter. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Twitter is a bad thing.

Is it? Baba, look at me. Twitter, social media is a terrible thing. Baba, look at me. Twitter, social media is a terrible thing. It's literally stopped us from fucking talking to each other. It stopped us from being with each other. It's very divisive. It's very divisive, like Joe said.

I said before that, yes, I shook. I said, yeah, it's very divisive. Joe, Joe, you're right, it's divisive. I'm not trying to steal its divisive. Quit thinking you wrote its divisive. My big, my, Joe said it's very divisive. I mean, that's all right. Yeah, it's divisive. That's a unique point of view, which I haven't thought of before. It's divisive, Joe. I'm not trying to steal its divisive. You said it, now wait, yeah, it's divisive. It is divisive. You're right, Joe. It's, it's right, Joe. You're, it's very divisive. But it's, you're right, Joe. It's right, Joe. It's very divisive.

But it's... I want to apologize. I came and I said hello, and that's, uh, that's Mike's. He says hello. I actually have a question about it in stand-up. I feel like certain comics do own certain references. That's the wrong question you're asking. You should be saying, how do I do it?

That is back. No, there are certain people. I do it No, there are certain people we have a choppy people call You know jokes funny the two fat people Literally all dying oh shit Joe that was a good one Don't we feel like okay, so sometimes I hear comics say use the reference were there's original right and I feel like big It big J. He that's his I heard him say where there's a region. What is that? The candies the old the old P. Paramell Or is a reference

I see I want to open my ex at yeah open my steel What that's okay. Yeah open my steel fucking thing other people shit That's okay. No, it's not okay But they grow out of it once you get out of the fucking open want you want you step into a real Place it place people gonna be like are you fucking nuts shut the fuck up? You know what do those a stage with big J sounded like David tell I mean sounded just like him and he grew out of it and found his voice and does his own thing now and Yeah, we have a lot of we think we're back and and go to close-ups and do something with the remote Would you I look over there? It's the same five shot every fucking time

I don't look good today. Oh, you look good, baby No, you look good. You look good. You're gonna go work out Yeah, you do look like something out of the Mad Max Thunderdome fucking movie But no eyebrows black chick always scares me. I Know you find you look good. We paint them in after you paint them in okay So yeah, this guy's from yonkers. He looks like he teaches the bugle like he teaches the bugle wow Good title

What do you mean 1950s No more that was a civil war when they played the bugle But the bugle was a military thing Yes, he had the beard which is not allowed that's's why back in the fucking civil war you could have a beard it was a civil war in revelry maybe I would have accepted he looks like a civil war ever a bugle picture he put that on him That's not how I'm gonna be a salesman. He was a king of the book. Well, here's the, not really, not really, we stopped replying to props for my new guy. The fuck I was, I had to get a horse line started. The bookie movie,

I'm the boy company B. Well, I think that this not having, I'm gonna get back to this because this fascinates me because I've never heard, I've never heard a group of guy goes, dude, no girls for a year. Oh yeah. It's like,

I'm gonna say something to you first, but, no girls for a year. Oh yeah. It's like, you have to understand. I'm gonna say something to you first, but you think you're gonna say it. It's the dumbest thing. You said that already. And this is why, because you should be open, you should allow, you should let the fucking universe, you should allow that, whoever that is to come to you.

And every guy that you meet, or or hang out with is an experience and something that you're going to learn from whether it works or it doesn't work, you don't learn something about yourself and about them. If you're open and you're willing to allow people into your lives and not be afraid and be fearless knowing that this is what you acceptable, this is not acceptable and this is what I want and this is what I don't want You don't have to just say you know what I don't want no man for a year and then Okay, that was the year that fucking your husband and your six beautiful children were gonna be fun That's when the sea was gonna, but you shut it down. No, I'm not shutting it down. See, first of all, I think the focus for me

has always been like, oh, yeah, I'm once a man, yeah, I'm once a man, she wants a man, she wants a man. And like, honestly, I made an assessment. I really don't want a man. I just grew up very traditionally where you had to be married to have sex. I just want to fuck. I don't want a relationship.

I just want to fuck. I want to have a guy available to fuck me when I want to be fucked and then I want to go home or he can go home or everybody go home, right? So taking this year to really reevaluate myself and say, listen, if the man on my dreams shows up and I'm not obviously, I'm not gonna turn him away, but the focus this year is not going to be unman.

The focus is going to be on my career, doing things so that at the end of the day, even if I don't have love in my life when I'm 50 or 60, I can go, you know what? I worked really hard. I made a lot of accomplishments in my life. And I have that as well as, you know, respecting myself. But I'm not going to turn away Prince Charming if he comes I'm just not focusing on him

And you know what I'm worthy because I've never told a man I was worthy enough for this if a guy's fucking Prince Charming he'll wait till 2018 to get me he doesn't he doesn't the rush He can just court me here's a deal court me. Here's a deal. I feel like you have it. Not only the shit that I said, the Oprah would have been totally like, you look like I just like,

the white Oprah is here doing that. She's on your side because you have a vagina. You have to acknowledge at least some of what I said. I will honor it. Let's go over it. Let's go over it. You're a fucking honorable ways. Men cloud women's brains.

That's true. No, women. Women cloud their's brains. No, no women. Women cloud their own brains. How? But that's brains. How? How? Wow. Because you're sitting here trying to figure out, trying to figure things out. They're on the clock. It's a little different for them.

That's right. Thank you, Poo. Every year I wait. It's more likely my kids will come out in a wheelchair. That's the reality That is insensitive My ex a young No Guess how old I am 34th I'm older than that 40 no, I'm not 40 yet

You find you 37 you find it you find now biological clocks are today. Yeah, that baby is got to like a plus you know What I'm a big girl so it's already got small space to live in. The legs gonna cramp any kind of how. That's not even real. That's how babies get to know how to get in wheelchairs. Yeah. That's not real. You have a fine. That's how babies are born and they have to be in wheelchairs.

Why? Because they're in a small, womb space. Why do you have a small womb space? Because I'm a big girl. The space gets smaller. What? Talk it out. My fat.

Are you kidding me? No, I'm telling you the truth. I think I didn't get pregnant. You have no womb, though, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, How many words to be fucking called on them? All the time! Now! Fucking now! Listen, babe, you're fine. I'm selling you this group is stupid. It's like you, all you have to do is be a friend to your friends. They, and just take care of yourself. That's it.

And when somebody enters your life, you let it happen. You don't have to give this fucking speech at the beginning of the year. No, man, because here's what happens. When you meet a guy, now he's got a, he has so many fucking hurdles, it obstacles, that you put there, you and your group, for this fucking obstacle, to be a good guy. Now come on. This way. That's not true. There's more

First of all a lot of trash. We are woman in New York City. I'm a trash is in New York's trash Yeah You move to the garbage fucking About women you have to know how it is to meet a woman a year I mean You got so the The world Yeah, 10's nice and 10 why is your mouth doing that? Are you doing that?

10 You have your Holy shit, I just got scared You meet a woman she's not setting you a Snapchat for a giant eye. I know so many single guys that are my friends that are all having trouble finding relationships. They want relationships and all women in New York City.

I want to do. I want to type a woman. Women don't want to girlfriend. No, the woman want to do is fuck. No, no. You just said that yourself. You all the women want to do is fuck no You said I just want to be a mother fuckers all I just want to dig this time I'm sitting home like oh my god I wish I had a tick right now my mouth and I don't have what did I get upset but At the end of the day, you know they make dick popsicles

There's no way of dick fine. You go by a dick popsicle. That's what I need Take one of our YKW did it I will be smiling out of here my vagina now the difference is yeah listen His guys they want this specific type of girl Right they have this idea this woman as little bit of a mother a little bit of freak little bit of blah blah blah blah Oh woman That is what I want One woman one

Because she just wants love but he wants to die Crazy He's a mess because she just wants love, but he wants to die No, not always because guy women men is becoming this be assured of my Because it's becoming this thing with female empowerment with women are like I don't need a man I just want to fuck I just want that dick and that Okay, so then it's your turn to be a motion like what the fuck does that mean? Most people don't want to keep putting their heart out there and getting it stopped. Listen, the reality is there are women that are going to that are getting hurt. And yes, there are men that get hurt too. Just want to cuddle.

But I would you know what? This is your friend so hard up looking for somebody to hug and love. You're facing you haven't a stroke again. What are you doing? Send them to me and see how fucking ready for love they are. I will never see my friend never. I'm just gonna like wig in their teeth. Fucking a black eye. It's the workout wig though. So it's, you know, listen, Yams, baby.

Yeah. Let me tell you something. I just don't, I'm telling you, you can just, you don't, you can support each other, but you don't have to make this fucking, that you, I feel bad that women think they, you don't have to do this. You gotta understand statistically in New York City

for women to hook up and meet Mr. Wright, it's gonna be fucking crazy. This city is to come, become famous, powerful, rich, and get fucked, okay? That's it, mostly, even myself. You say this, I'm wearing redding ring. Bobby, where did I get my wedding ring? Where did I go for it?

Where did I have to get that? Where did you go? I had to go back and marry the girl from Boston that was a waitress. If people have to go out and say, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself.

I'm gonna kill myself. Baby, because what I wanted, I'm not finding here. I'm not finding, because every girl that sees me, as soon as she gets me and realizes that the jokes aren't funny anymore, and there's somebody more famous than me, or bigger than me, or that could have aren't funny anymore. And the, it's, you know, there's somebody more famous than me

or bigger than me, or that could have more money than me. There's somebody, I was standing back then. They look right over my shoulder and they're gone. I had to go find somebody without a headshot. Somebody else, a real human being. You're meeting people from your pedestal in your arena that are looking at you, oh, this is Yamadiki on TV, you're loud, you're crazy, you're funny.

You need to meet somebody that's just a regular square. That extent. Oh, but he's not gonna. Yeah, they do, listen. Listen to the coach, that's your foot. Look at that. I looked over him. Joe, he looks away again.

That's, you're very, like, uh. It looks a tough, racially, it's a tough, Look at Joe he looks away again It was a tough time racially. It's a tough time you're very assertive It's a nerve-wracking time to be a white man around a black woman. He looks like he teaches a copy of a vote school I'm sorry because that was a good one. It was better than bugle. I'll stop over Sorry Sorry. I'm trying to calm Joe. There's no reason for us to be at a place where you feel uncomfortable. Listen, it's very, whether people believe it or not, it's very difficult to live in this country as an ethnic person and also very difficult to live as a woman. And imagine I am a double minority because I am ethnic and I am a woman. What's difficult about that?

So, we don't have time seriously just what I want to know one of the things which is really one of the reasons why I have this pack now and Fortify myself I want you to end this pack pack I'm gonna eat this pack to thank you. It's gonna be fucking ended. I want you about it long a hard I want you to have a packed Pack with yourself. I do but it is so packed but I don't want because if other people are involved and when they fail on it it's going to become this fucking fucked up thing. They're gonna feel

fucked up. You're gonna find lies in the seat. I want you to just for yourself in 2017. Be a beautiful human, not a woman, not a black woman, not a beautiful human being open for everybody to fucking meet and experience. And I'm doing that. And I want you to just be out there as you, Yamanika, who we love, right? Out there.

This is so hard. I want you to be out there and I want you and who and whenever guys come your way You knowing what you've learned in 39 years of 38 38 30 something years of your life 30 plus years all the all the shit you All the shit you've learned. All the stuff you've learned. Just use that when you're vetting these people. Not just the men, the fucking women. Vette, he's fucking women. Better fucking giving you stupid shit.

True. Hang on, guy in the couch, would you hit that? Very lovely. Thank you. Did not answer it, but it was a weird part. Because the way Deepu says it. Yeah, it was a weird. Because the way Deepu says it, he says it's so angry. Like he thought you meant like hit you. Like physically punch it.

He's very lovely to hit. Like it says it's like a fucking true Indian. It's not a problem. I would hit her with a stick. Boomstick if I saw her near my house while I make the koo-ti-bye. It's not about whether I feel comfortable or confident in myself and who I am.

This is why people think I have a very high opinion myself and I do think I'm one of the flyers, but just out there. I especially when I get my eyes face right. But I haven't loved myself and I haven't been loving to myself. So this is sort of like, I was in a pack when I was virgin, I was a virgin,

where I had 10 other girls. I did, but that's not. Do you have a pack to 26 years, Will? I was, this is my joke, he's a mathematician. I mean, you need to know. I'm really trying. I'm really trying over here. I have girls that I would pick up along the way

and we would meet and make sure that we talk to each other about the dangers of being around meet and make sure that we talked to each other about The dangers of being around men and being alone with men And if we really want to keep our virginity these are the things don't kiss a guy don't let them hold like we would go out and groups and things like that And I was the last no there's one more. I think Shashana hasn't lost her virginity yet She might kiss on her thirties, but What I realized is, the girls were leaving, going by the way side all the time. And I was holding on.

It's not about them. It's good to have support. And somebody that understands your journey that's going through the journey with you. But it's not about them succeeding. It's about them. But as they were getting picked off by men's cops. You know you were like this bitch and that bitch and what the fuck? We have, you know inside of you when you don't need, you don't need to make a pact, a gaggle of women going, we ain't fucking, we ain't fucking for a year.

Go fuck yourself. Well that's what we're doing. You're not allowing yourself to be a human being. You're not allowing yourself. You're saying, I'm shutting it down for a year. Look, unless you're a sex addict, are you a sex addict? Ooh, whoa. That was giving me boners.

I can't help but I can't help but I can't help but I can't help but I can't help. How many dicks do you have? Oh Whoa, all right, episode's giving me boners Three I just follow your heart and your body listen to what your body if you want to get fucked go get fucked and if you want to be single be single And yeah, girl can't just I think that's the disconnect guys can go fuck Because there's no attachment right? You can fuck a girl and then be done like it doesn't matter But it's girl and I can't die Kessum dig you take what did you say? I think that's crazy. I think that there's just same amount of emotional Attached man and a woman would have I think you're medical is that there's a release they release a fair amount Right aren't you from the South? No, I'm from Long Island

Right aren't you from the South? No I'm from Long Island. He's from the Southern coast. Because you're walking with poker chips? He is the hairline of a Dominican. That's real and that's why it hurts so much. That's real because women have an inner fucking shit that releases fremo so they're attracting the man because it goes to childbirth. That's why it's so much more painful when a woman cheats on a man because there's some sort of emotion, there's so much more goes into it. Like a guy can fuck a girl and be like, I'll never see

that girl like, I don't give a shit, but a girl that's like a attachment. So if you're a woman, I'm not defending men cheating and I don't cheat, but like it's much more like, I fuck back, don't say that because people are gonna hear that and then I told you some fucking thing you never cheated in your life even you saying it's laughing like that this is the problem there's no way to undo it now but no way to undo it but you know no money no money you look like you look like you think you cheat

yeah you look like you be first of all I would break out high you know how to play a cool history on your phone we all know you that it's the thing this is how you catch Joe cheating. Did you see to me? Yes, I did But the point is so when a woman is cheating It's because she's not am I right about this one? This is an emotional threat to a woman to fuck a guy it's easy for woman not to fuck a guy it's hard for a guy not for a woman that's why i can't have casual sex because i i can't

separate i swear i can't separate i think that's holla first of all baba holla last is also though i think your hilarious that you you know you randomly a fuck dudes. I know, but I can't. Okay. They don't want to. But she's attached to soda now. And I told you that in 2017, I can't do that because it's the year of the pussy shutting

down. Listen, both of you. Both. That's a horrible soda. Yeah. I can't wait to say that. Listen, you guys. Yeah.

The pussy. You guys all fucking crazy, man. You're crazy. Lauren, listen, you're crazy. I mean, I tried to tell you too. You're here just have, look, the things you don't like don't do and the things you like do. I told you, the hottest thing a girl ever did to me is when we're trying to fucking I was doing all my you know rubbing a pussy rubbing a titties. Yeah, what are you doing? I was doing all this rubbing this

She went can you stop? I was like watch goes. I'm fucking you We're fucking and I was like okay, she goes yeah, you don't have to fucking corral me into You have to rub my, you know, start a fire on my pussy with your index finger. Well, fucking, I'm fucking, she, then she undressed me. She folded my clothes. Wow.

And then, did she wipe you down after? We had the best sex I've ever had in my life. Did she wipe you down after? Did she give me crabs? For this? No kidding, I'm kidding. It's like a pet. No. No. No. pet. It's the way. But that was it. Look

it. I snorted before I left. Thank you. I had to look at you. But that hurts. No. I'm talking about a look at somebody. I go, got it. To have a girl be that confident and know what she wants. And for me, if she said, look, let's not have sex, okay. But she was like, I'm fucking relaxed. It was great sex. It was awesome sex. Did you stay with her? No, I felt last time I ever saw her.

Yeah, see? There you go. I'm just saying that if you like. Wasn't my choice, didn't return my phone calls boom See so Listen yams I swear to God I swear to you. I did not, she just, it was done. She fucked me one time, it was no me. She had emotionless sex. She, I can't tell you how many times I fucked.

Well me and my wife fucking is emotionless. She's thinking about what she has to do tomorrow with Max. You know what I mean? I'm talking to fucking pay bills. I think Max too. What? Jesus Christ, Joseph. I, now, do you know what people gonna think that's real.

Right. I think about it. You cannot do that. I don't want, I don't think about children when I have some. I do how not to have them. I just think you're crazy. I think you're a beautiful 29-ish woman. You're a beautiful chick. you get a lot of personality and you and you got a lot of stuff going on

And you if you want to meet a guy you should put that out there Don't say I'm not meeting anybody for a year. What about the chat room is there anyone in there? Tell them what that wants to have sex with y'all my naked me this is the thing I hate when people put me out there like that because they're not gonna say anything like here's a thing I'm very what did you see? Did you see something? No, I just know you're about to go on a fucking yom tango. I know what I feel like I just Thought it'd be good radio. I didn't mean to imply anything other than Here's a thing. I where do you hang out where man can meet you? That's the problem to where?

Where do you socialize? I don't. Yeah, you don't have a social life, but wait a minute. So if you don't go anywhere to meet these type of guys whether it be church or dance place or where the fuck it would be, right? Where have you got to socialize? Regular people socialize.

I don't have a regular spot. Yeah, you know, you know, you don't. For churches, all the old guys there, mostly. But you don't, you don't go anywhere. I don't have a regular spot. Yeah, you know, you know, for churches, all the old guys there, mostly people. But you don't, you don't go anywhere. You don't do anything, but somehow it's the guys you meet. It's fault. You should fucking, you should socialize. You should go out into the world

and do other things besides your fucking career. You should go out in the world and experience people. And you don't have to fuck them. Or you just go out to coffee with somebody who maybe said, peeks your interest and talk to them. Find out what they did. And maybe pick up a hobby. Go to some class or do something else.

Go to a dance class. You might meet an instructor, somebody. I go to a dance class, but the instructor's gay and so are most of the minute. So give them a chance. I mean, you have wings. Turn them have wigs. He has wigs. You guys get wigs. Wop Bobby, I've told you this before not all gay men wear wigs I just I just I look I don't I just don't like when women feel like they have to get into this big group and go face to like warriors

I mean we're human beings man like guys are such guys get burned too. I got listen. I have herpes Another thing I got so many times people to know gets worse and worse so what's the next thing? You was eating baby black babies in the Congo. I mean like the next thing he says is going to be worse than the last. I can't top herpes. You can't top herpes. You can't top herpes. They're eating black babies in the middle. I mean I don't I've done that. I would never go to the Congo. Someone in chat says she here's the deal with Yamanika. She wants a nice guy that treats her right, but that nice guy ain't gonna choke her while she's getting plowed. And that's what women want.

That's partially true. That is. Is he one of guys that's going to dumb? See, here's the thing. Get that mic in her face, please. Here's the thing. See how that sounds? I know. See see now go back

Even Garfee went that bitch is loud Listen when my mother birthed me all I had to do was yell in the womb hey bitch open your legs and I came out All right, give me the towel. That hurt too, because I think it was a bit. Yeah. It's an opener. That was material. That's pretty junk. But you don't want to be choked, right?

Yes, yes, every really live live when they say I have to be very careful how I was your group is going to kick you out. I don't know, not with your group. Like have you got another group? Some woman organizations like what the fuck cuz I said this before and then I got some what the fucks. There are some what the fun. Great podcast. There are some what the fun

There no woman wants to be raped right no woman wants to be raped no But if a woman is in a room with a rapist and he doesn't try to rape her She's going to feel some kind of way about herself right. It's like don't really rape me But but motherfucker try. Right. That's your bag. But can I say something? I think that, look, there is a fine line. And it's such a scary thing to be vulnerable with a woman, with a man, just to be vulnerable together as a woman and a man. I, from my angle, when you're with somebody that you love that's in your life and you open up and you say,

I wanna try this and they say, no, which they do. You feel weird and uncomfortable and now you feel like they think you're fucked up and they do. No, I've never said no to anything somebody. My wife has said no. I told her to be, you know, what do you wanna do? Be a masseuse, no.

Why? It's too close to what I do. I go, but you're an aesthetician. You work in a salon. They're literally down the hall. It's tough. Yeah, but I know a bunch of them. Yeah, but I don't want you to be the ones you know.

I want you to be a new one. You know, it's like, she's like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna do it. I ain't gonna fuck you, then I don't to do it. Now we now we have a thing now because I wanted you to be if she said okay and did it we be good. She said we should do we should roleplay. We should be okay. Well do you want this what I want? No fuck it. We're done. Well she said anything no to anything else. You just put in one request. Look man why don't you say no to the first one? No, then you say what makes him feel self-conscious too

But now I feel weird because now I gotta go to my my second or third fantasy now I gotta go to like a lullipop in a backpack. I mean where am I gonna get those props? I had to get the fucking belt with the oil thing on the belt What interesting? That was pretty hard to get. Well, you already have the outfit for her. No, we didn't had it. Yeah, well, we had a little outfit. Yeah, I was gonna be in the bed Nope, just put it on listen now that yeah, whatever Doing right now You put it on why are you talking like a Jamaican cook Bobby put on the scotch You don't ask. The sexual things.

Yeah, you do. I know how to ask. I've had guys ask do shit that just came up. And I was like, all right, as long as it's not going to hurt me, physically, we can do it. I mean, you have to say this. I just don't want you shitting in my mouth. But, you know, you can shit around. You know, I'll try anything you want.

Wait a minute. I was Scorpio, so it's hard for me to say no to that. You can shit around you. Not just under my mouth, not where I should. There's a chalk outline of shit. If I shit on the book next to your head. I don't even like when this is 2017 me, doesn't like what this is going.

Right, I think if people are shitting on on you you should stay away from men for a year I just An example I just my mind I agree with you you should start a group You should have a fucking solid support team around you I've never had a guy chat on me, but I will say this yeah, I don't If a guy says I want to shit on you I would and I loved him. Oh, man. I would go listen. I am like getting hard I want to shit All right, but as long as it's not my mouth. I want to go listen

I want to go to Chipotle with Joe and I'm gonna come right back On your left nipple Rope I'm gonna be like a double tapered log. I'm gonna get a squatty potty I'm gonna shoot a piece of rope right on your tip. I'm gonna look like fair ice cream I'm the same promise Joe people are gonna think now. This is what I want you don't want to be shit on I Don't figuratively You promised Joe, people are gonna think, now this is what I want. You don't wanna be shit on. I don't. Figuratively, or I don't. I'm not if it's not being filmed. I just feel like when I do something extraordinary like that,

I want it to be on Goviro. But now when you're with somebody and you find that man, I mean Joe, you would Sarah, you've been with him for a long time. You guys are very happy sexually. Yes, you seem very happy. I mean, I think I hope she is i don't know you i'm talking about you are yes

at the end of the so my question is but you don't have any set sexual hang ups i don't think so i mean i like sex we do certain things or whatever and she's nice and sweet about it but uh... you know i mean i don't know what he I mean, I like sex. We do certain things or whatever, and she's nice and sweet about it, but- He's not giving you nothing, Bob. What?

He's not giving you nothing, Bob. Well, I mean, I have to consider her feel like. She's a public figure at comedia. Yeah, I don't want to know. I'm just like an anonymous. I just had some wife that never met anybody. I might be like, Oh, yeah, shit until last week.

But yeah, I'm completely excited. You're satisfied. What about you? What's your name again? Mike. I'm kidding. Michael, go ahead, just Mike. What about what, who's your name again Mike? I'm kidding Michael Gorgeous Mike. What what about what was the last girl you were with? He's worried I'm married you're married. I'm married. I did not know that how long have you been married?

Not this past September, but the one before so you're religious no not at all not really I grew up Catholic Yeah, I think nobody's face has ever been judged more than my Canadian sister. I mean, it looks like a South, right? You're a virgin from the South. I mean, I'm like, but look at his face. I mean, I just can't grow facial hair. That makes me feel like you should be on the voice.

I mean, yeah, I don't have one. Yeah, like everybody should turn around as soon as you talk. Hello. Bing, bang, bang. Listen, cutie. Yes. Yeah, like everybody should turn around as soon as you talk Bing Bing Listen cutie. Yes, so you have a wife. How old is she? She's one year older than me really? I'm so how long have you been married? Like I said last September not the one. Yeah, I love the passive aggression

As I was staring your fucking face and you saw the words come out of my mouth and ignore them. No, I was literally having found your interesting until the second. Literally, you could be sitting on the couch with that fucking bugle player. I would have no- You're really gonna keep pushing that bugle right? I just gotta laugh, I just gotta laugh. I'm a veteran, I'm not gonna make shit work. Listen, so now is sex, so I mean, with you, all right?

Yeah, I think it's a pretty good time, you know? I'm having fun. But you don't do any crazy stuff. I mean, there's no shitting, no. I don't shit. She doesn't. I said I would consider it. There's no choking or slapping or role playing?

No, I mean, yeah, I mean role playing within reason, I guess, but no, not an agent. Well, like she's an agent, I think, I think yeah, what it takes, kid. No, the only thing that gets you dick heart. Oh, it's like, hey, we come, I want you to, we get spots in the stand. Yeah. Here's the thing. Here's the thing with sex hangups and things.

I only into it. I feel like, good people, You can only be good to into it if the girl is also into it. Like I'd like to come on a girl's face, but if she's like, doesn't want to and is like, okay fine, I guess. Yeah, that's not fun. That's not hot, I'm not gonna do that.

I think God, I was trying to guy on. I don't know. No, going, oh no, please, not the face. You know what I'm saying like that. Yeah, that's a denim. That's now just gonna spray a fire Yeah, but you're you're making a dirty sexy. Yeah, yeah, you're going no, but saying yes and you cute little smile Yeah, if a girl's like seriously, I don't I don't know if I like that she's not going I don't know if I like that she's not going to Not my face mother fuck What she really means

I that turns me on too There's a whole genre of Accident the cum shots they call them Surprise yeah, hit by a surprise yeah, where girls are gonna you sure you're not gonna What is that you gonna laugh? What do you look up to for that that's hilarious? category, yeah, it's called the accidental I think accidental cum shots come shots surprise me. Yeah, yeah All that stuff. He's gonna type that in a million come up or girls. She gets mad I got my go-to's wait. What kind kind of pouring? Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, stop.

Let's slow this down. I'm gonna have to slow this down. It's just 20 minutes. I hope so. I want to, we all get a shot of guessing what Yamamika Jersotha. Oh, yes, yes. We all get a shot.

Serving too. You get, you get a hundred. I make re-fribe beans. I bet, all right, I bet. All right, Joe, you go first. I have to guess. You guess, you get two choices of what you think she drinks off to.

Oh boy, well, I don't, this is nerve-wracking. I don't know. Do I go last? I'll go first here. Okay, yeah. I'm gonna say foot fetish. Okay, no don't. Oh wow, okay, no.

Don't give us away. Don't give it away, we get it. No, I browse. I'm saying a foot thing thing and I'm gonna say some sort of submissive tie down fucking smack em around crazy shit. Alright who's next? I'm gonna say either some sort of like cuck porn where there's like a you know a cuckold. We do don't know. Okay, well, I mean, no one needs it. You're the one who tends it to react. Well, because we know what it is,

it doesn't shock us. What did you want us to go, what's that? We know. We know. We're not even sure this one. Oh, I got a white girl, black guy. Oh, or, yeah, I think something where it's like, I think you might have one of those like,

like you was saying, alluding to before some sort of like rape fantasy kind of a thing. I'm gonna say kidnaped. Okay. Is that a porn? Yeah. Type that in. Boy, I don't know enough about this. Just type in kidnaped.

Kidnaped. Type of... I think it's the right, type in kidnaped porn. Otherwise, it's gonna be a bunch of children on fucking no cards. Hahaha. I know what you're rough to. It depends what gets your heart, you know?

And clean your brows after you look for it. Okay. Yeah, go to clitty.com and this is... And this is CLI-TTY. You know, CLI-TI. Ah. That's the one Pat TTY. You know CLI TI. That's what Patrice actually told me about years ago and it still holds up. The most categories of all sites.

I'll go there type in I think you'd like that and I also think you like a little bondage a little getting fucking tied up a little bit, a little discipline. I think you like a little discipline. a little bondage, a little getting fucking tied up a little bit, a little discipline. I think you're like a little discipline. What do you think, Deepu? I think she's turned on by like a charming, powerful man. So I'm gonna say you like just footage of Alonzo Bowden. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Just like him like on interviews and documentaries. Why were you, you were just funny only in the black. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I killed a hood roams, baby. Oh, he just funny only in the black? I Kill the hood rooms, baby. I just killed going all black. All black listeners just went hot. That's just funny They put your love to one boat. I love jazz and to Coddy motorcycles And my black women's gonna boo you, baby. What's that? Come on. What do you got? What do you got? That was my guess? Oh my god What about the guy? I'm again to him. I'm going to Lauren first.

I'm going to put the guy on the couch before Lauren. I put D-Bull before. Is that enough? He said like, what do you got? I'm just going to go three sums, like a aggressive three sum. What are we talking? Three women, two guys.

She's a women one guy. She's a women one guy. I just got that. No, no way. No way. I know she she wants somebody I should have said some lesbian point to I know she wants a little white girl That's why I said two girls. She wants a little white girl on a push She wants to take her wig off and put it on top of You like that wig in the chat room pizza says I wish Yalmatica was into ball gag so I wouldn't have to listen to her

Pizza says I wish Yalmanica was into ball gag. So I wouldn't have to listen to her. Oh I would yeah, you're giving them a voice new year new her His name is pizza. Yeah, they don't pizza. I wish you nothing but the best I pray for people like that. I would actually punch deep on the face though. I'm sharing it. For allowing people like that to exist. Oh my god, you're voice. No, it's horrible. My voice.

I just care this shit. Sorry, guys. I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. Don't I love the podcast, but you're clearing your throat because you were kind of sick this week.

Real, I'm not listening. I'm going to go over and go fuck your mothers. And P-P-S, I know how to talk through a ball gang. Hey, every guy on the train face. Ah. Hey, I think I'm better. I'm gonna say auto-detailer. Auto-detailer face.

One shaft operator. I'll say, long island railroad face. I would like you to get a briefcase. The machinist. And a Bluetooth headset for your ear. I think, but it's for DJ, might take it. face I would like you to get a briefcase the machinist and a blue-toothed head set for your year I think by mitzvah DJ might take it got nothing but thank you for mnemon moody's dumb brother go ahead only because no one else said it strap on porn oh that's a dark horse you got one more don't call her that

You got one more. Don't call her that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I should put on latex and kidnap my wife. That sounds hot. That sounds very nice. That sounds hot and you know Sarah's really pretty too. She is pretty. But she's pretty in two ways. She's pretty as a regular like, oh my God, she's a pretty regular girl, just a blonde white girl. But I know if she got dressed up in some latex or lipstick,

you'd be like Greece when they've living in John came out of the end. What's up? I mean, you're like, fuck is that? Earlier, uh, San D.D. was hotter. Not me. I thought later San D.D. was hotter. See, that's our... I mean, I married earlier San D.D. But I'm fucking this shit out of later San D.

Alright, what's the answer? It's a reveal, is that it? Well, first of all, you do realize that Archie finally chose Veronica, which I thought was bullshit. Who came closest? What the fuck are you talking about? Archie comics?

Yeah. Yeah, let's not go. Listen, just cut. That's just older than your references. That's pretty. All right, so. We're doing newspaper comics now. That's right.

I actually do like women on women. Yeah, I was that. What was that? That was nobody. I said that. I do. I do, because I think women, there's more to look at than as some guy. Like it's prettier, because guys, it's always like, who's the, can I see the guy?

They never show the guy. They always show the back of his balls. Because we don't want to see it. No, women want to see it. But most porn is for men like that, and we need the POV. True, that's true. What we're looking for is,

well, I'm taking my torso, and I'm putting it on that guy's dick. And I'm squishing. But women also want more. Well, I'm looking at the porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm squawking. But women also watch porn. Well, I'm looking at the porn. Yeah, yeah. I have two female friends who are addicted to porn. One had to go on a rehab for it.

Why? Where's that rehab? I want to go and just, you're like, I can put my tongue on the window. Yeah. Woo. Listen to me. Can I explain somebody or two?

Yeah. Maybe throw this into your mix. The reason my girl and girl porn is attractive to women is because a lot of times they'll kiss, centrally, like they'll make up. There's no really kissing in that other point. It's just fucking, but girls, most lesbian scenes, they do a lot of kissing

because they have to make up for the dick not going in. There's like fucking four minutes of dick sucking, you know, that they have to make up for the dick not going in. There's like fucking four minutes of dick sucking, you know, that they have to make up for. But then I go right into a dick thing right after. Right, but they, uh, I go appetizer. But I go to BBW, Doggy Style. Big, beautiful women. So you watch big girls fuck.

Oh, I like to see my body. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and I think I'm a guy. Not your body, my body. I gotta phrase that. I don't like to see. I'm actually like big guys too. I I think I don't Not you a body my body. I gotta phrase that I don't actually like big guys too. I like I don't love I but I'm also if you I'm not really into look that much honestly I'm not saying that you're very handsome, but what I'm saying is Don't you personally like that? I think something's coming that I'm not gonna make me another fucking bachelor of fries

After the show, but I I get connected to a person if they're funny and charming and things like that. But in terms of, I could see two ugly people, traditionally ugly people have sex. And so they go deeper. They go deeper. You know? As long as they give it, I like when people give it their all. I don't like it to be too staged either. Like, you're making me hot.

And then somebody's in the room with a camera going, keep going, keep going. I wanted to seem like I'm like, they don't know that I'm there. Oh, what's it called? Oh, voyeurous. Boy, yeah. My least favorite thing in porn is when you see

the flash of cameras, when someone's in here, still pictures, yeah, and you see a flash and you're like, what's going on? Yeah, they're doing the box cover while you're about to come. That's good. You're gonna wait to do the, expose your shots. Oh, sucks. Well, I, I tell you.

I also like to watching two guys have sex. You like gay sex. Oh my God. Jays sex is across the board. It's so many dicks at once. I tell you. What? I like lesbians.

I don't like gay sex. You've never watched two guys. Can I tell you why guys? I always get to see that one guy And then is that dick this oh Can I say so sorry? I'm sorry. I'm sorry dude. Listen to me dude pal Fella listen I Don't want to see to I don't want to see two guys fuck for the simple fact because I've watched gay porn

Mm-hmm porn and it's We all have Joe you might want raise your fucking head up to motherfucker. I've seen gay porn as a bit I'll leave it on someone's computer when they leave their computer open. I put gay porn Yeah, I mean that's a go-to bit. That's a classic. Let me lock up my computer because it's right behind you. Gay porn to me is very mechanical and, you know, like I said, like a lesbian porn they

kiss and slow and sensual and they go down to the nipples. That was your day. I came to meet you coffee. Right, when you see a girl blow a guy, there's a lot of eyes and lickin' and you know, when a gay guy, it's just, they're just sucking it the way it's supposed to be sucked to calm.

Right. Well, they're trying to end it. And you can see their balls are trying to get out of there. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a, ah. You know, bro. Well, somebody's gonna do wonders with photo stuff. You're gonna have the biggest black dick in your face.

Eight minutes after this comes out. Fan out, fan out Friday on Instagram gonna be really big. Make it one more time just so I can. I'm just shan't it. No, I got it. Um, Raul Dela Cruz says, man, Yamanika's looking like a horny ninja turtle without the handkerchief on her face.

Like a ghetto Donatello. Oh, yeah, get that handkerchief. Because of the outfit. Yeah, Mike is in your face, the shot stinks. No, it's like a ninja turtle without the thing, I think. Oh, shit. I think they said that about me a couple of weeks ago. What does that mean, though?

Is that a new song? Because our face comes down and out and around. No, no and no no no no it's because you're in the athletic wear Oh a big bold color People wrote that People with all the chat. I like it to say you like it deep I would like for the next two minutes for every guy that's typing in nonsense to type in something beautiful to me uplift me 2017 I want to share love I love you all that are listening I'm gonna say something I'll say

some let's go around the room and say something nice about everybody, okay? Yes, I'm gonna I'll start everybody Deco accept people You're right that's too hard of a game Lauren what you looking very beautiful lately. Oh, thank you lately like I up to my game. There you go This is why you can't get one stupid straight white male to my game. See there you go. This is why you can't get one stupid straight white male. So your hair is awesome. I gotta cut yesterday. Thank you very much. You can't do hair on me. Look at Fienys. Buddy, I can do hair on you because it looks great. You're gonna cut me something other than

his hair. Yes, I already have. Yamanika. Yes. Yamanika, your energy is beautiful. Oh, thank you. You get a very good energy. I wish I could have been beautiful, but my energy, I'll take. No, your energy is gonna be fine. That's your one's got a thing to say. After someone gets a compliment, none of us can receive compliments. Mine was just a zing.

I appreciate the compliment. You're hair looks straight. No, I'm saying mine was a zinging mic, but I appreciate my hair compliment. You have a very beautiful mouth. Thank you. You do. I didn't like it.

I just have never, the mouth, I assume there were some like, all right, you and Lauren, with everybody else. See, you didn't take it. You did that. That's right. Sir on the couch. What's your name? Barman's with DJ.

Steven. Steven. That's a nice strong name. Steven. You're aging well a nice strong name. Steven. Beautiful name. You're aging well. You're proportioned well. Be glad you weren't first because he's starting to run out of steam.

Yeah. Okay. People, people you look less Indian. Oh, that's really nice. Right, right. That's a very nice thing to say. People. People, your energy has been very nice.

Oh, thanks, buddy. Yeah. There you go. All right, so do me. How many good, what are you got? Bobby, you're phenomenal. You are magical in every single way from the sparkle in your eye to the way that your cheeks just light up a room. You're beautiful, you're fascinating,

you're funny, you're worthy. Thanks. 2017 is your year. Thank you. Yeah, I'm gonna take you to. Thank you. You're beautiful. The sparkle in your eye just lights me up.

When I see your smile and the way you laugh at other people, you allow them in and then you laugh at yourself. You don't take yourself to serious, you see, I'm an Eka. That's what makes you beautiful. You sense the humor and your dimples that God gave you and that beautiful little nose and that mouth and those lips and the way your hair changes every couple days. I'm warning.

2017 is your year. Oh my God. I'm a nipple still in. I'm really hurting. You're always, you're in the group. So fuck you. You can't get laid for a year. There you go.

No dick for a year group What is Lauren jerking off to what are we doing here sorry? Get back on track We beat off The guesses just sex life was good job All right, what are my jerking? Yeah, we got a we don't want to guess. She's want to know we wouldn't know Yeah, I think it's soda Everybody thinks it's so soda came to my house the other day what for a dinner on Sunday

Oh, he drove up and you're out of town. I asked him to bring you Stavros came to I was in town today. What are you really? Yeah, 100% It's okay. That's all right I asked you personally you said you weren't in town when I asked you personally I Talked to you the week before and I said dude Sunday. they're coming over and you said I'm not in town Remember when I asked you I did ask you vaguely yeah, I did I remember asking you because I wanted you there probably had some plans Well first I type in you porn yeah, you porn is such a

porn hub porn hub is really up there game lately. lately. Clity dot fucking come on. No, any bunny. I have a question about any bunny. What's any bunny? Any bunny with a why or an I know with a with a why I go to X videos. I go to we don't go to X videos. Oh, all right.

Well, I bet you don't go to black bitches give it up.com. I don't know. What bitches give it up calm. I Don't know what do they give up do you have to pay for that? Is that free? No, it's it comes free with a bag of cotton Oh, I can't make slave jokes you can Now you can go ahead We can't laugh at you. Give us the non-Ibracish. It's not real. I'm not making any reactions to the ass all. You definitely can't because you look like your family owned a lot of black people back

in the day. Maybe a few still in college. I love that he said Long Island, like they never slay for the Long Island. Long Island has just been fucking fisheries and coffee shops. It was in the North. Very tolerant place. It's one place that's not racist. Like they never slay for them. Look at how they're like, like, long hours has just been fucking fisheries and coffee shops. It was in the North. Very tolerant place. It's one place that's not racist.

It's all island. Yeah, especially the tip. It's really, yeah. They have so many black people out there in the summer. Go ahead. Okay. Girl on girl. Of course, because you're fucking just the...

We play. Three some with who? Two girls, one guy. Two girls, one guy. We talking about getting caught One mad One girl is mad and like can't get in and I want to get in and the one girl's like no Fight for the show all right, so now who you in that one?

I'm the one getting it. Oh, you're gonna get it. Yeah, and I'm like the fuck out of here Which are really the one getting beaten out? That's who you really are. Yeah, you're the one going, you can't want it and you can't get it. But you're the one getting it in the fantasy, right? Okay, what else do you like? I like Brunettes.

I'm very particular about the girl. Brunette? Yeah, like a Brunette girl with very nice tits, great body, great ass. It sounds like you're a lesbian. You're like lesbian is part of the girl here. Yeah, I suppose that girl. I think you'd appreciate women's bodies and things like that

more easily without guys. Trust me, she looks like she wants a big dick in her vagina. I want a humongous dick in my eye. We're all out, I'm gone. You said Joe's got a nice piece because I've seen it way too many times. Yeah, but Joe's thin See a lean thin guy like this always gonna have a dangler this clock sucker What was the last one you sent me it was you it was your dick in a mirror like I didn't even you couldn't see it at first

Oh, yeah, that's all right, and then you're looking at me like oh just dick He actually FaceTime me one that morning, and it was just his dick, fff, he was slapping in office to make. But he's a classic gag. Yeah, I like it. We're in prison. Yeah. We're in prison.

We're in, and we're in a Chelsea, leaving gay porn and a guy's computer, putting in a dirty, you being the gay porn is not a classic gag. That's a fun gag. It's the game porn? He's not a classic gang That's a fun act! It's the whole thing! Oh god, I like it I'm downstairs at the fucking bar A fucking text comes in from this asshole

Oh no, it wasn't him It was Joderosa It was Joderosa from the knee up Naked It was like someone halfway through Werewolf transformation. Took a picture of their cock and balls. What, what else you like? That's it. That's it. What do you like? I'm not, people will give me, I'm not a big porn guy. But I can only jerk off

to memories. I've actually my actual experience. What? Really? Because it's more real. What are you for? What are you for? What are you for? I don't know. I don't know. Even if I start watching a porn, I just go ahead and I go back to my own thing. You go back to memory? Yeah.

I'm a memory guy. You're an antique jerker. Well, I never had access to porn until I was older. Right. So I just got used to one way. But if I do watch a porn, I did a bit of it. I would try to find, similar to what you said, I would try to find a guy and a girl that looks like a girl I've fucked.

Right. Well, I think I did that. I always did. Why did you have access to porn until later? I think he lives in a commune. Well, I was, I mean, I'm 34. So the internet wasn't the thing until, I mean, we didn't have a computer. And I wouldn't watch porn on my parents' computer, and we had like AOL. And so, I didn't own my own computer for a long time until recently.

I had a phone, but then phone, I don't know. I don't know. I know about you. What about you, classy? Would you work off to the great Gatsby? Right, excuse me. Just that beacon of light. I'd jerk off to hope is what I jerk off to.

No one is gonna confess to that, but he's looking at me. I would confess to that, I have absolutely. I don't jerk off to black chip all the time, but when I, every once in a while, I'll fucking watch a black chick. Nobody sucks a dick on porn. Nobody goes down on a penis

sexier than a black girl. And also because white girls do it black girls man. God. When they look up and then- Oh, I forgot this was being video taped. I think that's okay. Yeah.

I got it. Well, they're looking at my mouth and they heard sound effects Those are from me I don't make a Sliurping whatever I go all in I wish I wish you could do you add the slurping purposely just to make it a turn on Bubba I'm spitting on Taking the balls and I'm putting in my mouth for me for you to say all in isn't that much of a task.

The driver, do you ever get a blow job without hand? Then you just, it's the worst. My. A blow job with just mouth and no hands. For a little bit. It's just a wet dick. Yeah. You're just floating in the ether.

You don't even know. So what do you like again? I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't, I really don't like porn stars. I know that it's so fake and plasticky. So what do you like again? I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't, I really don't like porn stars. I know that it's so fake and plasticky. So what do you like? Tell us. I agree with that. I agree with that.

I like big tits. So you go to a big titty girl. Sure. Natural boobs they call. Sure, yeah, natural. Yeah, I just don't like the big blonde, voluptuous, you know, that kind of like. The porn star.

The screaming porn star. When she's on top and she pushes up and her tits look like they have lines and I'm just Screwed yeah, oh you can see no, it's not even looks like you can see the cut of where they were just I mean, you know, it's the internet. I've seen I've seen it all Yeah, the tears look like a trash bag with water and a hang of a roof. They're just so firm Teddy fucking them would be horrible. You'd be like two kneecaps. Yeah. So it's all right.

So what about you, yoghours? Steven. Uh, generally like milk porn. Okay. Oh, that is a strange thing. This hope for me. Have you seen that encouragement porn? What is that?

It's the opposite of like, uh, the opposite of Cuck porn so they encourage you to to nut, you know It's like a jerk off like an encouragement or POV do some do some will they'll tell you know you do it Do it like you're doing it like you're you're you're fucking great. You got a huge dick You know you know keep stroking it for me. You get turned on. I'm rubbing my nipples. I do. I do. I do. I do. I think you should come for me. You know, right now. I mean right now. I don't know if I can. I know you can. You can do it. You can do it. Just do it. Just do it. The hands. That's actually cool. The worst thing I ever saw in a porn. I ran up across this video by mistake.

thing I ever saw in a porn I ran up across this video by mistake. It was this old dude given a blowjob to this thug. All white dude given a blowjob to this thug. White thug or black thug. In between, I think he was black and white. He was like, like, skates like, was it the coach of a team? He, I want to remember is the guy. I don't go out there and get him. Hey, Jackson, you stay back here for a second. I got, I got something to tell you. Just a minute before you go out there. We're going to do what we do every week. For every time we win. We, we've been doing it for 16 years like this we have lost the game yet so pull that cock out and let me get to it fight for every inch he kept telling he had his

Timberlands on and his pants down and his boxes down it was just so much material down the ground he was standing at they was in the woods for some reason I don't know where they was camping I don't know was a boy scout trip that went wrong I don't know where they was camping. I know it was a boy scout trip that went wrong. I don't know It was running with fog Yeah, yo yo yo you got matches my fuck Yo, yo, I caught a trout. I want to put that shit up Yo, yo yo yo yo, I got a lean to and shit That's insensitive

He was close. This is close. Because he was going to say, yeah, suck that dick, your mother fucker. Yeah, suck that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, put it in my mouth. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're all digging. Come on. I was like, oh, my God. What happened? Because I can't. You promised to stay off my lawn. I had to keep watching the scene. I can't. I don't know how I found it and I'm like stop bringing my doorbell and running

When we're done with this we're deals a deal It's like a prequel to that that YouTube video the old white guy that knocks the the guy out on the bus All right, well deep what is your porn? Did? Now, do you masturbate to Indian girls? Oh! Not those Indians. There aren't many to pick from. There's a, for your rhyme, she's a very prominent Indian porn star.

You have to kind of just go to Middle Eastern. That's like a dream. Is that me, a girl, right? Meeklyphus, she's Middle Eastern. Oh, yeah, I met her. Oh wow. Yeah, she's gorgeous. So, are you master be rocking tits? Yep

It's gonna be more than one Indian woman doing Poise plenty of it for yeah, if you go through you porn It's like a lot of sad Indian women doing porn They're all sad and they're kind of pudging it's probably for the money and not a good House and much probably a lot more hair. I would try to come on the dot You know? If you know, if you do that, you get a stuffed animal. But you got a stuff at yourself.

What are you doing? Well, personally, I like to watch the masseuse situation. I don't know. I like guys, the massage, the roller massage. Bobby, get some oil in there, lube it up. I love a masseuse one, man. Yeah. But you got to find love a masseuse one, man. Yeah.

But you got to find the correct masseuse one is very hard because the buildup is important to me. I need the buildup. Everything. Now, so if the girl's massage and, hey, how you doing? And then she goes, oh, what's this? And then she's just, it's done. I, you gotta find the one when she's given a legitimate massage

for 15 minutes. I know, literally just edging the top of your dick. Go on, all right, come on, say something. And then she gets to his legs. And then she opens up and then she's like, I'm sorry, because she graces and not. And he's like, no, it's okay. And she's like, well, turn over. And he's just got a hard dick and he's like, I'm sorry.

She's like, it's okay. It happens. And then she kind of rubs down and she's like, oh my God, it's very big. And I know I'm sorry if I'm in bar. You know, you shouldn't be. You should be very proud of this. Yeah, yeah. This won't talk to me.

I shouldn't. No, it's what you should. I can't, I can't. This is wrong. Let me just, and then she goes back to you. And she's like, how much you cost with extra? She's like, oh no. And he's like, I'll give you 50 extra dollars.

And she's like, I don't know. And he's like, 50 dollars, I won't like, I'll give you 50 extra dollars. And she's like, I don't know. And he's like, 50 dollars, I won't tell anybody. You promise you won't tell anybody? I promise. Yeah. She's like got masseuse encouragement. That might do it. That might really make you explode.

The masseuse one's good. So wait, she has to suck his dick? But it's all a oil on there. Yeah, but the oil is actually a strawberry oil. You can see. Have you ever? Yeah, that's like, you know, but the oil is actually, like a strawberry oil, you can see. Have you ever, yeah, that's like, you know, the fucking terminate, it really wasn't from the future. All the pain on the end, they just, that's all fake,

you know, they had it still, yeah. Same shape of point, oh, so that's, you know, this is strawberry oil you can eat. It's a fake blood. Have you ever had a regular massage without it at one point in the massage getting an erection, or at least like a half a job? I had a massage once with a girl at one point.

I was totally hard. At one point, our hands, do you know the hand thing? And our hands touched and we held onto each other. Yeah, no, we stopped. And I was like, I'm gonna make a move right here. And I held it and she held it. And then we fucked. Did?

Yeah. What happened to her? It was a long time ago. Do you think about her? I do, I think. That's why he has the masseuse point. I mean, yeah, I think probably why either. Maybe it's a memory.

Did you tell your wife this whole story before? No, you said that. She probably sensed it. She probably sensed it. She probably why Maybe it's a memory. Did you tell your wife this whole story before? No, you're not She probably fucking nuts. She probably since then sense what I'll stop There's another woman. Why do you want to mousse all of a sudden you a bin what massage is Got you up here wanting to get all up motherfucker No big ass can't even fit on a massage table you and I both would break the shit mother fuck oh You saw some bitch and you want to get rubbed down rub yourself. I'm turning Joe now. I'm turning my wife Talk like that. I'd fuck the shit out of it. Just a shudder the fuck up

I like that yamadika as your wife threw in a fat joke. Yeah, but no, I don't you got a self and made my wife fat too We both The guys of character. Yeah. We both give fit. Hey, I would take the heat. I took a little bit of the heat. Listen, I do like that, but what I'm into recently is being caught.

Jerking off. Mass fucking. Thank you. Anything, anything. I like being caught. Jirking all over the place. Mass fucking. Anything. Anything. I like being caught. And there was another one that I was into that was, if you type in gambling debt. What is that?

You're just naming things that are porn. Kidnapping. Get it. First of all, fucking shoe sales. You type YouTube. Type in car. You go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to the, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, dead. Buddy, first of all, fucking shoe sales. Yeah. You type in car.

You go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to, you go to I'm gonna jump out today. I'm gonna jump out today. Well, listen, all right, listen. We're gonna wrap this fuck around. Um, yeah. This has been a really funny one, God damn it. Um, Joe, what do you got, buddy? Uh, oh, I got a big show I want to plug in, uh, January 27th, it's a, it's a, it's a, a,

Planned Parenthood benefit. There are wonderful people out there. Sorry, I'm not a wild one. It's a break, don't worry. Can I just say why I think. I'm not a wild one. Can I just say why I think? I know, it just was the last thing I thought, funny and plant-paranoid.

Well, here's the thing. Here's the portions and jokes. This is the problem. Abortions of portions of worse. That's 2% of what they do. And for all you men out there, there's more men listening to the show than women. They will take your genital warts off for very short money,

very nice, very easy. Yes, I went to Planned Parenthood, they couldn't have been kinder. Where? And Bleaker Street. I'm not giving the address, they'll blow it up. One of your fucking crazy right-wing Nazi fans. I've been to that one, too.

I had to get emergency condoms once. Yeah, you see? What emergency? I don't have, first of all, I don't have right-wing fans. You got some. I'm a realist, you got I don't have right wing fans. You got some. Listen, I share them. I'm not saying you're bad guy. Yeah, but you say it and if they're my fans and I represent them.

No, I'm trying, well, I'm trying to, the right. I went over Yamanika here, like putting down these Nazis. No, you did, you won me over. Thank you all. I don't have a Nazi. My, my fans are very down the middle and reasonable. Some of them. Two, two, extend. Some of them. I went on a gun rant one time on this podcast and it was not pretty

I'm still getting residual effects. Yeah, because you you didn't make sense. Well, I called them faggots Little dick faggers you are raising money for abortions not abortion Abortion, sorry, what is it? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I I would, I would, well, half the first two times. I played one full one. I did splits. He's, you find me as the first two. I did Dutch. Someone to know about gambling debt porn. Oh, it's just him showing up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's usually a guy with his wife in the gambling. And there's like three other fucking Russians or, you know, Europeans and it's usually a guy with his wife in the gambling. And there's like three other fucking Russians or Europeans and it's like you, you owe us money. All right, what do you have to put up? How about your

wife? His wife's like, do it. I don't give a shit. You win and she they don't win. He's like, okay, you give us wife. But then he's gonna watch. And then she's fucking on the table. And you know, it's like your husband know he has bad luck, but you have good luck put in your mouth. And then she, at first she resists, but then she's totally into it. And this dummy's going to sit there and watch. But the reason why I like it is always at the end.

And I love porn like this is the woman will do an interview. And she'll be like with the guy in as her husband. And it's, we always wanted to do this fantasy and we're glad we got with the guy and as her husband and it's, we always wanted to do this fantasy and we're glad we got to do it here in a safe, constructive way. I mean, it's all horseshit. Oh, I hate that.

I love that. I hate the pre-interview. I need it. I need it. I need it. I need it. I need it to make me feel good. You need it.

I don't want a lot of information. Yeah. I don't know. I'm 36. This is my first point. I need that. On on that one. I need the it was fun. We had a good time just so I'm not a piece of shit. You know what I mean at the end. I need that so go ahead. The show is at airspits in old school. Old school. It's got 215 East 99th Street. Hit me up for details.'s ten bucks that's great show who's on it uh... sarat alamash katehann again smithle ruddy jason canter a few other people

that's great those people and you know you know we raise money for what awareness for plan no for the it's going straight to them i give them i give them monthly because i care you do how much fifty bucks every month i every month that's a lot. As I say, it's a lot. I give 10 bucks a month, 120 bucks a year.

10 bucks a month. Yeah. To plan parenthood. Yes. Now, can I go there, even though I have good insurance? Yeah, anyone can go there. They never, they don't turn away anywhere. And they, and they go check out my dick. So they took your warts off. They took my warts right off. Had three sessions. They put a little paint thing on there. It stings. They couldn't be nicer. They held the hand the whole thing where is this place herpes it's all over there's a bunch of them in the city but there's less and less and they're trying to defund them and they're getting rid of them in the end I'm gonna give some money to a two you should give me a lease we send me the information I'll give them to them because and and you're

a spiritual guy there's a lot of religious people out there that just I hate the idea of abortion but they're preventing more pregnancies than they are actually terminating. And then some people do get fucking, you know, raped and shit and they have nothing else to go and they have pregnancy. Well, whatever it is, it's a woman's choice. That's what I believe. So fuck yourself. So do that.

Oh, I kind of want more show. Jesus, my website is live. I don't know if you want. I'm gonna be one. I'm gonna be one. I'm gonna be one. I'm gonna be one. I'm gonna be one.

I'm gonna be one. I'm gonna be one. I'm gonna be Yes, brand new. In 2017. I finally got a website. When everybody stopped using websites, just went to Facebook, and did you joke? Comedianjolus.com. I'll be a joke joint Valentine's Day, and then that whole week with Sarah. That's awesome.

St. Paul. St. Paul, there's two of them, but we're going to be in St. Paul. All right, great. Thank you. No, you got it. What do you got, Yams? Why do I have my phone available?

We can bring it up if you want to. I did. I would love to. Here people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people.

I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not have to be a better me. I'll be right. And 2016 me would have been a reckless bitch. I'm not going to do that right now. I am going to LA at the end of the month to, you know, record the rest of roast battle. And I hope you guys pray for me and keep me in your prayers. And we get so many derives coming. By the way. How?

We got so many dates, you want? Do you feel really? Well, I wanted to just pull up that a Yom Nika will be at Caroline's on Broadway on Sunday, February 28th. I got more shit current than that. Current? You know what it is also. I have some, I have some stalkers.

So I don't always put up my dates. I always kind of like to show up places.. I have some stalkers, so I don't always put up my dates. I always kind of like to show up places because I have some people who, and if you're listening, I love you. What if these stalkers, what if these stalkers are just trying to court you like you want? You know, slowly, they're being vigilant. They're persistent.

Or on those out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Know this guy on the couch is one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. back real quick. That's it. I have some other day. I don't know, I'm at standup New York this weekend. I'm at the stand. I'm at Caroline's on Sunday, stand on Sunday. I'm out of time. I'm supposed to be an aspect next week. I don't know if that's happening. If so, you'll see me on logo soon. If that gets canceled, you'll only see me on Carmichael Central. And then I'll be back in January. Top of February, I'm doing some things

for Black History Month to bridge the gap between white men and Black women. So, I tell you, I tell you, a couple of things you can do to bridge your real life. Yeah. Well, I would, but Joe's got a lady and you have a lady. And he has a lady. Yeah, a lady and... He has a lady. Yeah, he didn't know I wasn't even...

Because you have never once looked at me in a way that I thought... We were on edibles together? Oh my God, we were! Well, you're wrong a lot. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Sean Derheims, okay? Is nobody saying everything I say is perfect? All right, I'm fucking up all the time. Yeah, I mean, what do you got, yeah, Dick Van Dyke? Mike Finney.

Tonight I'll be at stand up, labs playing poker, and then, which is a porn thing, if you type that in the clear deck, all right? The media is playing poker above comedy clubs. I will be later on that night hosting the show down there, but I run a show once a month in New York comedy club called On the Offensive, it's the second Friday.

Next one is actually this Friday, seven o'clock and you can get tickets on their website. How people are just doing stand-up or they are just taking their clothes off. They've just done it. They've done it. They can hypnotize and see what they say. There is a new fucking thing. There is a thing to it. It's a comics that can hypnotize and see what they say. There is a new fucking thing.

There is a thing to it. What is it? So you do the stand up, they just do their set. And then at the end of the set, there's an internet video that each comic has and they may just make fun of. So it's kind of a talk soup, touch point, and one of those things. What's that fun?

I like it because it's like a quote unquote gimmick show, but you don't have to eat pie and wear a costume and back foot. You'd be funny and then you'd be funny again. I think it's almost an, I think I've created an almost unbomable show because if you, even if they hate you for 12 minutes, as long as you say something half intelligent at the end about the video,

they laugh going, that guy's great. Well, that's not unbombed, they could bomb both. You could have somebody to suck. But nobody has, yes, I guess I should say. You're booking well. Yeah, yeah. Are your parents still together? No.

Good. Um. All right. What is that thing? What a great test. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Never been the less happy.

I. You can't have more. There's no way. No, what else you got? Twitter Instagram snapchat. Yes, what is it? I am Mike Feney. That would be great. I'll be at the stand on the 24th doing the roast masters. And then that got my own podcast coming out in the next week or so with Mike Cannon called Irish Goodbye Podcast. So look out for that if you want to, you know, check that out.

That's great, man. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me. Yeah, he was very good time, man. You didn't want to call it the two mics. I tried mic and mic and mic had issues, but apparently it was a show that was canceled. What do you have? Well, somebody also has my, I have Rantin and Raven, and there's two guys that have Rantin

and Raven. So I have to keep Rantin andven with Yamanika in the title. Right. It's a long title. It's done, but I was doing it before them and I don't know what these two white guys got to rant about. Okay. They're going well for y'all.

Straight white. For the next four years, things are going to be going really well. Straight white guys. No problems at all. You know, there's a lot of white guys. You do that. You try. If you have that of white guys. You do that all the time. If you had that whole thing, and nobody's missing.

I would imagine, if nobody, if nobody's dreams that you have to, it just sounds, when do you break the, when you stop, when do you break the character? I've been known to hold one for two weeks. What were you talking about white guys? I thought you were talking about babies and it was going back to the plant for two weeks. What were you talking about, white guys? I think you're talking about babies and just going back to the plant parents, but they're just people.

No, I hate babies. People, what do you guys? They can follow me everywhere at R2DPU and I have two podcasts. One's called Geeks of New York. It's a tech podcast, tech weekly news. Kind of a dud this past week. The guest we had was kind of like a wet towel of a person. So don't listen to this. That like what endorsement huh yeah well you know

listen to the other ones and then the song Lauren why did you say yes I was gonna do a virtual osprey that's cool I think Lauren was better what was yours rich boss so you push a button and it does I mean what is it I have a hand spring my phone's a hand spring and my other podcast is called go to help podcast which is very funny and I can say that without Kitting Tell once the greatest day of my life. Oh, you got it We were on the ceiling right above you You know a lot of white men are riddled with unemployment

and heroin addiction right now, and it's not easy for them. A lot of heroin addiction. You know, let me explain. There's a lot of white men that did not vote for Trump. Yes. And there's a lot of white men that don't believe in everything that Trump has ever done.

Or also. But those ones that are very vocal and what's terrifying is... The ones that are very vocal. All right. No. No, they are very vocal. All right, no. No, they don't scream. No, they don't. They don't.

Another stereotype. Don't encounter someone who really, because listen, it's all fair. It's all fair and love and war, right? We don't have a problem with a candidate being Republican, a president being Republican, and we've done that before. What I do fear is the insight that some people have felt now to be very vocal about their hate, and the things they've been suppressing for a long time because we have gotten to become more PC.

And I just hope that I've seen so many fights break out recently, just at comedy shows when a comic smitches Trump and then somebody's going off and standing up and getting aggressive and getting kicked out. Like we have to be, we have to be relaxed. I think every guy has to relax. Yeah, I think whatever it is. Sure, it's an election.

He won, move on. It's happened before. It's not the end of the world. He's not going to take away plan, parent. He's not going to do anything. All this shit, he's not the wall. I mean. He's not gonna take away plan, parent. He's not gonna do anything all this shit He's not the wall I mean they're defunding it. Yeah, no I think what everyone is

Excuse me. I'm telling you right now. He said although they're gonna pay for the wall. They're not paying for the wall Abortion will be illegal. It's not gonna be illegal. It's gonna repeal about okay It's not oh Obama care was not the greatest thing. He's not not all of it Okay, that's his legacy and he wants to keep it, I get it. But Obama's care wasn't great for me. It was good for my kid. It wasn't great for me and my wife. It wasn't great for you.

It wasn't great for a lot of people in New York City or people that were doing what they're doing, but the people that want to get rid of Obama care, it did a lot for them. Okay, fine. There's a lot of people that need to get it. But they're not gonna get rid of it completely. And here's the thing, in four more years,

which is not that, they're gonna have a, we're gonna have another chance to vote. And maybe people get off their ass or maybe people who didn't go vote or whatever the fuck happened, that will change. A lot of us have voted. We're still fucking Americans. It is what it is.

We can't change it. We have to be together. And you can't change it we have to be together and you can't you know the stuff that happened to that kid in Chicago you can't because now these crazy people are using this whole thing at fuck why people fuck Trump and this poor kids getting scapped on Facebook live and we have to see that shit it's like come on move the fuck on everybody think what we're forgetting is that amaroza is in the

door the problem here amaroza is the part of the that's just crazy she has raising an elected position in the cabinet give me your hands this is where it starts get a me your hands. This is where it starts. Get a screen grab of that. This is where it starts. I agree. Right?

Loving one another. I love you. I love you too. Can you get your black hand in this camera right here? Right there. That's powerful imagery right there. I love everyone in this room. God bless you all.

Even the people who are saying things to me on the internet that I'm not looking at because God has shielded my eyes from your hate. Yeah, I love you in 2017. I hope your penis gets very very big. You satisfy all the women you've ever wanted to satisfy and that your life is complete with love and happiness. And if you feel lonely and isolated and you want love, call me. Yeah, maybe you maybe you'll. But don't stalk her. Yeah. But don't stalk me yet. Now let's get out there.

Hang on, I gotta give my plugs. You should have gave you a speech after. Now my plugs are ethical, Mac, that you son of a bitch. Give me your lower plugs. Give me your... Hey! What do you got, Lauren?

Just outlorn, Cabera. Besides, it dried up snatch. Oh, no! Oh, no! It's like it gets wet! It's like that. It gets wet! Lauren does outloren kubara you said to try it up snatch It's way that's insane That's a board thing really hit me hard to say that was a lot. She said she says it What you say you don't get sex right? I'm not getting the sex right now. Yeah. You know, I'm having it.

So you're turning on me. What about the car dealer? Detailer. You can give her a. I'm off the peon for a while. Yes. Car dealer. Auto detailing.

What is your profession? Because I feel like one of us might have been- Let's all guess. Let's all guess. You say car details. I think you're a musician. I agree with you. All right You say card to you musician. I'm gonna say bugle player. What do you guys teacher? Oh fuck? I say teacher to I'm in publishing I'm a production manager for Japanese comic books really Oh, you're the closest, because you're like creative. Oh, this is me up. Yeah, nothing. I fuck actually next Wednesday

at San Anthony York. We're running the show pre-nup and it's gonna be fun. A lot of divorcees come out. We have a good time. Sounds like a great time. Yeah, I'm here. I'll go to I think I'm weeping out next Wednesday, but if I'm here, I'll go to that. All right. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. What do I got people? All right. We got Bobby's dates January 12th. You look Bobby will be at Mahafi Theater in St. Petersburg, Florida Big show this this Thursday Joe Koy a Colossumid Sia and Leonard Oots Love Oots. He's a much better night. Yeah, so make sure you come down and check that out. What else we got January 17th

You'll be at the punchline Philly in Philadelphia. Yeah, that's next Tuesday. I'm doing a show I don't know if it's private, for live nation, but Christmas, I don't know. I don't know what that is. Oh, that's definitely private. They call me to do this show, the people at punchline. And I like the manager. And of course, I love live nation.

Those guys are great. And I love the punchline. I love the punchline. So they asked me to do it. I said, yeah, I usually don't do this stuff. It could, you know, Christmas parties are always a hot one because you don't know, but I'm hoping it's a good time. So I'm going out there.

What else you got? On the 21st of January, you will be at the Ridgefield Playhouse in Ridgeville, Connecticut. With Jim Florentine, I don't care. Why would you do it? Just go do it. I love Maddle. Be a man and Ridgefloss.

Fuck it. I get to where you from? Where'd you get that shirt? Ah, and me, we'll be out at the rich, it's a fucking, this is an old gray hair ball show. Just fucking, it's a great lineup. Yeah. A lot of my friends from the cigar place

are coming, my cigar bar, and it's gonna be good. So check that out. What else? And on the weekend of the 27th, we got a lot of stuff. 27, 29th, you'll be playing parenthood benefit weekend. They were the call. Bobby a little bit. McCurdy's in Sarasota.

What a great club. What a great club. Yeah, if you ever get a chance to play that club, if you, it's McCurdy's in Sarasota. The guy runs it. Old school guy, really sweet. Just nice guy. And I remember I went there, you go there, I think you do a show in Thursday or whatever, but it was all old people. I think they just give like some discount. And I was like, I literally went to the owner. I was like, sir, um, listen, uh, you know, he's like, you'll be fine, man. You're fine. They get, I went out and they all got it.

It was fucking crazy. It's like that college show on Thursday night at comedy on state. You like, didn't ever, and then it's great. So. Dead Crow comedy club was the same experience. I don't have a talk over me. I'm just trying to wrap the show up. You're trying to stand on more because you're not going to be

on for another six months. And then, you know, you're trying to stand on more because you're not gonna be out for another These two come on all the time so listen I'm kidding but listen without that go to my website For I have a shitload of dates coming up. I'm going to a rubra. I'm going all over the fuck I got a bunch a bunch of theater dates coming up. I'm very excited about the fuck I got a bunch a bunch of theater dates coming up a very excited about the The shows I got coming up What else that's about it man get the app. Oh, tell him tell him tell him tell him Lots of realistic

Not if you if you want to get the if you want to go premium become a premium subscriber of the show Yeah, I'll have to go premium if. If you're a fan of the show, look, we got thousands of you motherfuckers. I see the stats. I know how many people walked down on the show. Just go down on the app. iTunes, iOS. Yes, look up Robert Kelly's.

You know what, dude, app in iOS and the Google Play Store. Yeah, there you go. Just get the app. It's free. You get all the shows free. And then become a premium member. It's $199, right in the app. Sign up. All the stuff I do that goes behind the paywall, all the one free and then become a premium member it's $199 right in the app sign up all the stuff

I do that goes behind the paywall all the one-on-ones. I just did another one on one in North Carolina With some interesting comics. I got a couple other things going up there Just a bunch of extra stuff and any live show we do goes right up in the app and you guys get it Thank you Wow, thank you. Wow. Thank you. And then we're going to be doing a, we're working on some other stuff too for that, me and Deepu talking about some stuff and Lauren's going to be, I guess, and that you're going

to be folded into the fold. We talked last week. What? We're going to be doing some other stuff for the network for the Premium channel. So that's it. What else? Anything else? Yes, if you're a fan of the Sire of Deep's, if you're a good fan, you want to come in and sit on the couch,

email me at ykwdproduceratryacast.com and I'll schedule in to come up. Listen, all this fan art, some people send me fan audio. I don't know. If you send fan art, send it to ykwd atryacast.com. Okay, and send it to me, and I'll get it. And I'm gonna put it, put it, put it on my, whatever it is. I don't care if any type of fan art you make, Photoshop, stuff, drawings, I don't care shitty, whatever it is. Send it to me. The audio stuff,

you have to explain it more. I don't, someone sent me a bunch of, I don't know what to, put some explanation in it I'm just gonna shake on what the fuck is this? So make sure ykwde at ryecast.com and what else? I believe that's it. We got everything. That's it. So you guys are the best things coming on You know what podcast You've been listening to y YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.

Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.