Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - North Philly Matters
Episode Date: September 21, 2015This week on the YKWD podcast Bobby, Scopo and Deepu welcome Comedians Sean Donnelly, Mike Finoia, Dave temple and Mike Vecchione. As well as these hilarious comics we have from Apostle Pictures prod...ucer, Sawyer Williams,who is promoting his movie "Detour" (http://detourfilm.info/). The guys chat about Cosby, the Roast Battle and an interesting discussion on the police. Make sure you guys Subscribe to our YouTube page when you are there. Have a great week dudes!!!!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar.
A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa.
Hay que ponerse modo de racón.
¿Eres un dragón?
Soy el dragón de Fireball.
Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball.
Bien, frío.
Yo, pues al lío.
Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica.
Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball.
Disfruta de un consumo responsable.
33 rados.
¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's?
You know what, dude.
On the RiotCast Network.
RiotCast.com.
Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth.
This is going to be a costifier.
This podcast has no rules. What are the mic-ass hole? to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-defying podcast.
No rules.
Look at the mic asshole.
I'm sure I've already sent you the recording.
Can I get a mic?
Oh, what the fuck?
That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down and he happens.
Sometimes it's hilarious.
Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions.
I love doing it.
Play both sides of the coin. That love doing it Side to the coin
The day my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know Yeah.
All right.
We have a full house today, the YKWD studio.
The new studios.
Beautiful studio. That's, yeah, it isD studio, the new studios. Beautiful studio.
That, yeah, it is a beautiful studio, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Well, you know, it's funny.
The first, the first people that came in here,
the, I would say the regulars maybe,
where they got, they tried to trash the studio.
How?
I don't know.
Because what comics, and we can't walk into something nice and be nice.
We can't walk in and go,
dude, this is really beautiful, man.
Congratulations.
You worked hard.
You started this on a phone in your apartment,
and now this is amazing.
We're like, you couldn't get a full table.
You have a half table?
Exactly.
That's exactly what they said.
Oh my god.
It was fucking retarded.
Anyways, welcome.
We're going to go around around the room Chris Scopo
The producer of the show along with Deepu the video producer these two Fox who have tell help me take this to the next level
What's up, dude? What's up? Sorry. How you doing?
All right, so Scopo once you go around the room and this looks like I'm wearing a scarf like I'm trying to be trendy
All right, so Scupe, once you go around the room, this looks like I'm wearing a scarf,
like I'm trying to be trendy.
Let me take that off.
Hit Bobby.
Let's go around the room and introduce everybody.
All right, to my right, Sawyer Williams, everybody.
Yeah.
Hello.
Just met him today.
Come to the bottom.
I'll tell you a little bit about him.
He is a producer, writer, from Apostle.
He, Marin, the show on USA, sirens, sex drugs and rock and roll. I
mean, the list goes on, rescue me. He's been a part of all those. He's one of the guys
in Apostle and he's here today to, and he's a friend of mine. Oh, thank you. And to the
blind listeners, he is literally Sean Patton's doppelganger. It looks just like Sean. We have video
It's amazing. He's on a camera right now. Oh, both of the blind listeners
Yeah, I would have known what Sean Patton looked like either
I was
Had one I was gonna
I was going to throw one out of you. Me, what?
That's all right.
Yeah, dude, you got a really cool project you're here to promote today.
And you hang out.
I'm a fan of his Instagram, but I get very scared because everyone's in a while.
He's in, like, at some lake, in, like, at the tip of Vancouver or somewhere,
with blood on his forehead laughing with a bunch of the dudes.
Just getting loaded.
Yeah, it would some type of jug.
You know what I mean?
Well, it's nice,
because I don't tell my folks about anything I do,
so the concern that you have is like, you know,
surrogate parenting, so let's go.
You really, you really, really,
so what do you do? You call them up?
I'm like, I am worried about you.
Well, you know, because you go through
people's Instagrams and you're like,
oh, a dog, oh, rainbow, oh, a boat, you know, 50%. You know, it's got deleted scene from
Twin Peaks. They're good without a shirt on. And then all of a sudden it's just bloody
fucking soyer, having a blast. You know, I said thin skin literally, I bleed a lot,
actually day-to-day life. You would be the same with you if you just had this disorder.
Well, you just have to wait a minute, dude. don't have a thin skin. I think so. Yeah
That was it hit with things a lot you get heard on Twitter too like people make fun of you does as it
Not
Bruse yeah, so you don't want whatever you start bleeding first up
I gotta say I wasn't expecting that voice out of that face and you're saying it's covered in blood on Instagram
Like if I were to see that and then hear that voice. I'm like no, no fucking way
Voice I don't know my life. I blood on Instagram like if I were to see that and then hear that voice I'm like no, no fucking way I
I don't like this is one alright look I've liked soyer and then I love so yeah, but then I fell in love with so yeah
You know, San there's three stages I when I first met him I liked the guys cool guy really nice
Then I just I love them. He was just I realized what a sweet duty is, but he's crazy. He's fun. He's
Artistic he's creative then there was a time at the beginning of sex drugs from Robert Robles
We shot the pilot where I found love with him and I want you to see can you please show them why?
Well, yeah, just pull your shirt out. Oh
Wow Just pull your shirt off. That's a... It's a norm. Oh no shit! My pussy? Wow!
It's a whole...
It is...
This is the...
Pull it up again.
Oh shit.
Show the camera right here.
It's on this camera.
Look at that.
That is not...
Covering up his nipples.
Well this is not...
To laugh is to live.
That's amazing.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
And then you posted it and somehow already repostosted and then it turned in about 400 comments of
Your fat you should die
To I have seen my new blood like crazy
You needed three transfusions people are missing the point about laughing
Well, I'm gonna skip
Who's after who's after, who's after Sawyer?
It's Sean Donnelly.
I am the producer of Modern Family
and Mama's Family and all the family shows.
You could be a producer. You have producer Bauder.
And definitely producer B.
So aren't that far off?
Yeah, he's a little bit better in shape than I am, I think.
So, I was gonna go up to a couple more weights than I did.
So, he's got good sound man body.
Yeah.
Sean's key grip body.
You do have crew body.
Have I liked to go fishing body?
I'm a head scaffer slash donut run.
All right, and then next to him, we have one of the YKWD favorites. I'm a head gaffer slash donut run
All right, and then next to him we have one of the YKWD favorites who has a microphone
Can you sit up please? It's my posture is bad. I don't care. You're fucking rag on people who have scoliosis
We're trying to get we're trying to put a product here. We're trying to get you known
We're trying to get you know people to know who you get people to know who you are. I mean, there you go.
Help him out.
Thank you, Deepu.
It's like my Indian doctor.
What does that mean?
Deepu is Indian, so my...
My Indian.
A lot of doctors are Indian.
That was the point.
That's not working either, Deepu.
We got to fix it.
You got to put a mic back more.
There.
Right there.
You're good, right there. I nailed it.
Alright, you nailed it the fucking fourth time.
Mike fucking weirdo, Vecchio.
No weirdo.
Mike the fucking I love hoodies, Vecchio.
Mike, all my clothes are too big for me
and that's the way I like it, Vecchio.
You wanna make fun of my body now?
No, no, you're gonna make fun of those two,
but I did not make fun of you, buddy, you're close.
Alright, now listen up. Things aren't going that well for me in comedy. Maybe it's some opening spots. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We've been friends for a long time. You got a brand new fucking studio. I can't afford pants
Are you okay? I am and I am kind of any shitty
Bobby me and Mike did the Eric Andre show together. We did a sketch in the Eric Andre show
I fucking love that. Yeah, we I played a UPS guy
Really he played a cop in the sketch.
Fucking a man.
I want to be on that show so bad.
That was fun, right, Mike?
It was great.
Yeah.
I love that guy.
Such a cool guy.
Yeah, he's really cool guy.
Right before we go, he's like so fucking chill, too.
He's like just relax and enjoy it.
It's, it's, yeah, yeah.
He was like that.
He was like, we're in the van.
Getting ready to go do it.
Yeah.
He also, it's funny.
His mic was, you were so taken by the cop uniform.
Yeah.
He kept asking the wardrobe lady,
hey, how can I rent one of these?
Can I rent one of these myself?
And then she's like, yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
And he's like, I think he had,
Mike had me take pictures, me and him.
We took pictures.
And then he had the lady take a picture of him arresting me,
like in the thing.
I thought that was really funny.
Is there a big, dead of a shitty story? Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was really funny. Is there a bad dinner for shitty stories?
Yeah, I really thought you would laugh at that.
Take that blanket and put it over your head.
My hair is actually a penalty flag.
15 minutes.
Why in the bad mood, Mikey?
I don't know, I'm just wrong side of the bed type thing.
I try to like work out to feel better, but sometimes it just...
But you only have a twin bed talking, is it every day?
And it's up against the wall.
Let's go.
Let's go, let's go next.
Who else do we got?
Dave Temple from Philly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's up, Dave?
Yeah.
This is so bullshit, the black guy gets applause
Because he's a producer
Like a black he's Cosby show but
So he's a real different world black there we go college cosby cosby black is the same as regular black now
Dad and cosby grew up in the same housing project
Did he know him probably but no shit?
You ever talked to him about it? Oh my my dad's dead now. He's dead. Wow
His dad knew cosy. He didn dead. Wow. That would be his dad knew cause he didn't know his dad
That would be a podcast you woke up on the wrong side
Did you have a dad?
Did you ever see the Cosby show pre-Cosby show when it was like the Bill Cosby show when it was called picture pages?
That was good
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Let's call the Bill Cosby Show and it's just him like trying to like date other teachers and like he's a single Jim like 17 shows because even after the Cosby show he had like the Cosby mysteries and all that
Really? Yeah, I never saw that cause me to do some last guest really quick
Mike Fenolia everybody
No, yeah back on the show. Yeah, what's up everybody?
Thanks for having Cosby historian Mike Fenolia. Yeah, we'll say yeah, yeah
We'll say we have we have a YouTube now on the show
So you can bring up videos we can bring up it we take calls. We might take a call today by the way
That'd be great. I it would be fantastic
If it works if it doesn't work, I'm sure I'm gonna get shit from you this did he was good
You know it would be amazing as if your dad called then it really
Actually close we're gonna try to call Keith Robinson You know what would be amazing is if your dad called, then it really worked.
Actually, close. We're gonna try to call Keith Robinson.
Hold you.
I've been getting this thing, but I'm so much in the comedy club, this ridiculous.
Really? I'm sorry.
It's so annoying.
People would be thrilled.
Was it, huh?
Would you have a bad set?
He wears super shirts and glasses. That's what it is.
That should be a fucking next album.
Stupid shirts.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Do you find the show?
Yeah.
The final part of the show.
Is it called The Bill Cosby Show?
It's called The Bill Cosby Show episodes.
Oh wow, it was on that.
It's 52.
It's 52.
I like the 71.
Wow.
Did you love it?
Can we watch any of it?
It's actually pretty, it's awesome.
It's like a 3am TV LAN.
We'll pull up, scroll back up.
I know, yeah.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
That's right, dude.
This is a new part of the show where Bobby Yellow's
computer instructions at Scopa.
Pop, pop, pop, pop.
This is gonna be a new part of the show where I shut your mic off.
I was at.
Ooh.
I'm surprised, probably.
You never saw this?
No, I didn't.
No, I've never seen this.
Never seen this. Just out of curiosity, what made you think, like, if you asked him again, he was gonna go, yeah, I'm surprised, probably you never saw this. No, I've never seen this. I've never seen this.
Just out of curiosity.
What made you think like if you asked them again,
he was gonna go, yeah, I'm saying that I was just fucking.
Are you mad, I'm trying to get out of that.
I feel like this is what he told the girls after he drugged.
He's like, you're ready for the Bill Cosby Show?
52 episodes.
52 episodes.
It's the Bill Cosby Show.
Oh, that's not a real, oh, you son of a bitch. It's not me guys forget it anyway. It was a legit
Oh, if you can work it out work it out
Since we have all this technology in the studio
Scopo you
You're hectic. I don't know.
I'm not.
I can't see.
He's looking for.
Where are you?
Where are you, Clash?
Where are you, Clash?
Watch where it glasses, Scopo.
I go to YouTube, you fuck.
YouTube.
It's YouTube.
You should get him a monocle.
The YKWD monocle.
He's an IAMD.
He's an IAMD.
This is why he's fucking dumb.
IAMDB.
Go to fucking YouTube.
Type it in.
Yeah.
That's where videos live, breathe.
That sounds like an advertisement for YouTube.
And then when you get the video, make it full screen
so we could all enjoy it.
Yes.
Oh God.
See, the bill Cosby show.
I could cut Deepo in half.
I'd put it on that side.
I put two deepos in the couch.
Deepo and Deepo.
He's Indian.
They're much more focused people. They're Rooter too, they're very mean.
Oh yeah, Asians in general.
They're in the Dix city just said to me a couple of minutes.
What did he say?
I don't know, something was just fucking deep wish.
I prefer to look at as passive progressive, but that's just my...
Sean, are you booing?
Hang on, hang on, hang on, give it to me.
No, I don't even know what color you should get, but here's your net. This Are you booing? Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on, give it to me.
No, I don't even know what color you should get,
but here's your last one.
This one's for the stories, give it back.
Oh, nice.
Can we not fucking do cross talk?
This isn't two podcast, Mike.
I know you used to fucking be in the alpha male in the room,
but just chill out today, okay?
Hey, is your wife still living nine?
Yeah, I think it's so cool.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's so disrespectful.
Yeah, she is.
She is?
And is everything going good?
We've got 32 weeks left until she's done with school.
And then we'll see what happens from there.
So we'll see.
It's going to be tough, man.
It's going to be difficult.
For you guys, you don't know this.
Especially Liz, he does comedy, lives in the city, travels.
His wife lives in Connecticut around an hour or so.
Hour and a half? Hour and a half, an hour and a half
away, and they live apart so she can work, right?
She's in school, can't tell.
To become a doctorate in nursing.
Okay, so his B plan is his wife.
I'm absolutely.
My wife does fucking zip popping in facial.
I had to become a good comical.
That's it, moving back to Boston.
That's the key plan.
And you live here.
Thanks, brother.
Yeah, I live with Oakerson in the East Village
and we share an apartment.
And I got to say, I think about the conversation
that you and I had early on about it, about the things
you miss and the things that are easier to,
it's the do you remember what you know just the heavens someone there to
like yeah even cut it up with and just talk to and bullshit and I don't have
that a lot and like that's that's that's that's but he's got a girlfriend so
now things are different so oh isn't doesn't listen he is not about
his own it's not about it's not about it's not about the bonfire going five days. I'm just thinking, hang on a second.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to get the Bill Cosby show for you.
I don't want you to do anything.
I'm very happy.
If I tell Sora to do it, do you know how fast they would come up?
Sora, can you get the Bill Cosby show for me?
Can you just show him, please?
I can mash my paws on this.
That's about it.
Come off the clock, Bobby. You're off the clock. You're lucky. It doesn't make you look like shit. I don't
want to see it anymore. How I bring up what you will bring it up.
He's like an abusive father. No, I don't want to see it anymore.
That's the ad I can add. That's definitely not the Bill Cosby show.
For the first time. It's the Bill Cosby show. Look at young Bill available
for the first time on DVD. The hilarious sitcom that started it all, starring the one and
only Bill Cosby. He tried original music by say you're probably going to be trying to make original music by the legendary Quincy Jones
Little Soundtrack.
The one and only rapist.
The rapist's 4db box set includes 26 episodes,
fully restored and uncut.
I can't believe the first one knew of exclusive interviews
with Bill Cosby.
That's testimony from the company, Ray.
Hillary's going uncut, uncut.
Before Fat Albert, before Cliff Hoxdible,
there was Chal.
While he was raping
Let's say you show season one now available on a 4-nvd box set
Wow, I think it looks good. It's an incredible show. I was heartbroken when that whole thing. I loved Cosby, you know?
Yeah, I still love it.
I really know a fairly stand up.
Come on, son, you can't love him.
Why not?
It's not about where you come from or the color you're skin.
When you rape women and you do what you did, that's it.
Your piece of shit human.
Yeah, he's a piece of shit human.
You can't like a rapist.
All comics, all comics are pieces of shit. Now, when like a rapist all comics all comics of pieces of shit
No, we're not rapist, right?
I'm not gonna be naïve all of us, but there's two more rapists. You're talking about two different pieces of shit
A guy who finger fucked a girl on a cab that said no a couple times is not you know the same guy
That's entry level entry level
I have to be back in the 70s. I've taken my dick what I do I don't want to do it. I just take my dick out and then try to hypnotize her. Yeah, but
I don't fucking drug her to waste up the next day with jizz and her thigh because you can't afford the drugs, Bobby
Wow, I really look at super excuses for Kalsby.
You really?
Are you really sticking up for him?
I mean, I don't know.
I just feel, I don't like the people
who have to work.
I never stand your ground.
What a thing to ground.
I don't like people coming out of the
Woolf Works later on.
Apparently you don't like fucking your own career
on this business either.
But it's being recorded twice.
I'm not dope.
I year from now on, you're on whatever
the last comic something.
Bobby, can you, no, it's not happening.
Fuck the leaders.
I'm not even fucking stand by it.
Stand by what you're about to say.
Yeah, I'm standing behind everything, man.
I mean, it's not that I'm defending him.
I just don't like the accusations
that coming out later.
You understand what I'm saying?
I mean, the rape accusations.
Yeah, fuck.
Look, man, people, I understand what you're saying,
but too many women have come out and said,
look, I was scared.
You get raped by somebody famous,
or something happens to you against your will,
no one's gonna believe you, you hide that shit.
It's like molestation, dude.
I got kids, I got daughters.
And my daughters would have come and tell me
that they got raped by somebody famous
What if they can't handle it? What if they can't right? I'm trying to teach my kids now
No, let's address this shit like this more that
What we call like that's that suburban anger where you you repress your shit and you just hold it in and you go
I don't know. I don't want to ruffle any feathers you know to me versus where I come from it's like no
I got a fucking problem. Let's address it right now. I don't care who it affects or who it offends right now. You know, I have no idea
I can try
Like
I don't know are you all from the suburbs? I'm from the suburbs. I'm from the suburbs
I'm from the suburbs, but if something's bothering me I don't know what you like that generalizations kind of weird
What a general see like I admire you going to
Internet see people just lose it like fucking McDonald's over something petty like a burger. Yeah, like that's what I'm talking about that kind of shit
We're like I don't give a fuck how bad this looks right now. I have a problem and I'm addressing it
I don't give a fuck yeah, that's not right
People are doing a bill because well, that's not rape either
But what I'm saying that's not
I mean what was in I'm saying that when people lose their shit lose their shit in McDonald's like I've seen videos of that like I don't think that's good
I don't either. I don't think that that's good at all like it's not good
But if that if that person comes in there again, you will not fuck their order up
No, these people are like who are working at McDonald's are like minimum wage people a lot of them like just beating down doing the best
They can't so when someone comes in there and just flips out on them, I think that's just fucking terrible.
Like, I don't think it's good.
I don't think it's them letting them know.
What if there's a way to let somebody know?
What happens if they flip out on other people?
Is that okay?
The people that work in the business.
No, that's not right either.
That's not right either.
But going in and just losing your shit over somebody,
I'll bet you'll get my fucking order right
the next time it's like, ah, that's no good.
No, it's not just still any good.
But it does teach you to handle things where you go,
all right, in justice, anywhere, not me.
I'm not the one, you know what I'm saying?
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
There's a, you gotta leave it in the other.
You gotta be the one.
You are the one.
We're all the, we're all the one once in a while.
You have to be the one, but you have to learn to accept it.
Do you want your kids, would you, would you want to teach your kids that?
Would you want to teach your kids to go in and fucking flip out,
curse people out, mother fucker this, mother fucker that,
fuck you.
No, I want to teach it.
I want my kids to pick and choose and know when it's worth it.
And like I said, if it's worth it for them,
then stand behind it.
Well, yeah, but what does that mean? What I'm saying is, if it's worth it, if it's a McDonald's hamburger worth it. And like they say, if it's worth it for them, then stand behind it. Well, yeah, but what what what mean and what I'm saying is if it's
was a McDonald's hamburger worth it. Well, let's take it back to
the cops. If Cosby raped you. Yes. And that's worth it.
Then you addressed it and you stand.
What do you mean if it's worth it if he raped because it was good?
I don't know. You're addicted to roofing all the way.
This is fantastic. It's kind of a lack of a cluster rape.
This is like a colonoscopy.
That was the best nap ever.
That was the best dig I got.
I'm gonna be gone if I was gonna be like,
cause you're like, cause you're like,
it's best if you got hush money.
It is the best dig you ever got, right?
Now the most chicks just get a little bit of food
for dickhead dinner.
Where are you fucking turkey?
You know what?
That's huge.
You never think about how like, you know,
at the time that Cosby was doing this and I'm not at all You're so happy. You're so happy. You're so happy. You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy.
You're so happy. You're so happy. You're so happy. You're so happy. You're so happy. and Hollywood at that time, right? Having that feeling that I could do whatever I want, whenever I want, and I'm not saying,
I'm not saying it was right,
but what I'm saying is I wonder,
because when you think about Cosby,
you think about like, man,
I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt somehow.
Do you know what I mean?
Because I loved everything,
I guess I didn't love him, I loved Hustle.
I loved Dr. Heathcliff Hustle.
Maybe I didn't love Cosby.
I loved the character.
You know what I mean?
I think I'm realizing, because I was thinking about like,
how do you justify that shit?
Like, how do you live in the world where all cameras are
are new?
You don't justify it, but he raped the women.
You don't make excuses for any of it.
He made, he cleared it.
I will say it for this.
I'm not saying.
There was a different time and there was
quayludes and pills going around and people were
partying and stuff like that.
But when it's 36 people and when it's a concerted effort
where he was going on these drug dealers,
like, we're gonna knock out some women tonight,
then it's fucked up, and there's no excuses,
and you don't make excuses for it, go,
well, he did play a lovable character.
I'm not that excuse, I'm saying that did he make excuses
for himself while shooting?
Sure, of course he did, that's my point,
like, being rationalized in his head.
In some way, it was a kind of like a fuck you
to everybody that like, I'm the most obsessed.
Well, he thought it was partying,
he thought it was like, hey, they're part of it. We're doing it. This is the thing
It's a scene they should be probably which I'm not I'll give you that much back then it was the 60s
And it was more loose
Well go before that go go earlier menus. They just crack women if they disrespected right right you get and there is nobody
Yeah women couldn't vote black people were slaves
I got a real guy as you keep going. We did a lot of fucked up shit
Yeah, and it was acceptable and then we learned that oh shit is not acceptable and where we're I mean really far along as far as
Women's rights and how to treat women and respect for women
I mean there's a lot of stuff where I mean you can't even say things about women
You know on TV. I mean every commercial is how dumb guys are.
Yeah.
How dumb we are.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I was like Cosby just couldn't repress that kind of behavior. At the end of the day, he was still a North Philly dude
that came up in a rough neighborhood.
There was probably running trains on chicks
and drugging chicks when he was coming up.
And he just never was able to shed that.
He's still wrong.
You know, I'm not saying, I'm not just fine,
but what I'm saying is-
I don't believe all of them.
I think there are a lot,
so I think there are a lot of liars in it,
but not all, if you have that-
You've got five.
Which ones?
No.
Which ones?
Like, you know, his wife.
Whatever it was.
So you're saying what it says.
But she would have moved the game out.
But I just love one second.
You know, you know, his wife is one of them.
I think so, yeah.
Poor fucking Lou.
I mean, has he, he can't catch a break.
I mean, he's fucking Arnold fucked him.
That was what, his fucking wife fucking got raped by,
I mean, she's holding down and killing one of these bad things bad Jesus Christ go
Bob he's deaf he said that was a shitty part oh man it's not shitty I guess
you're right maybe yeah it's I think you're you're a little off I mean you
really look man a guy a guy give a girl a pill it happened once wow we don't know what the
It was a 39 maybe here and come on brother. That was a fucking that was a serial rapist that was he
Yeah, was raping women he found a way to fuck women and not hear their hopes and dreams
Yeah, I'm not condoning
I'm not condoning. I'm not condoning.
Maybe he, maybe you're right back after this.
I'm not condoning the rape.
I'm not condoning the rape at all.
I'm not making a mistake about it.
What I'm saying is,
you want a rape?
If you're from North Philly, it's okay.
It's totally cool.
I never, I'm South Philly, I'm from Southwest.
I grew up in Southwest, so that's good.
But, no, what I'm saying is I just wished that
we weren't living in a world where people just addressed it, confronted right then and there, you know?
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead.
And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. And it's sexual abuse and we are dead. My mouth out of the child my friends and I just realized we were going over that that it was a molestation
It was a girl. I was like four years older than us. Well how old?
I was probably like 10 or 11 and she might have been like 15. That's fucking wow. That's awesome. That's not molestation
That's fucking right right north filling self
Nearly you're like you're like you're like 15 16 if jizz comes out you're fucking
You know it wasn't it wasn't the jizz, it was that Paul Satan. The same, the same, that's fucking.
But nothing's coming out.
That's Sonic jizz.
That's Sonic jizz.
You were a palestin, dude.
You said young pussy.
You're that you credible.
Don't feel bad for you at all.
Yeah, I don't feel bad for you.
You feel bad for you.
Now, that I realized I was molested,
I'm not gonna sit there and go after the check.
You were molested.
You were molested.
Yeah, dudes can't get molested, right?
No, it's she was 14, you were 10. That's fantastic. You do's can't get molested right now if she was 14 you attend
it's can't take you must have a good you're a good
right all right let's get like four if you're if you're at 13 if there's like an
age I mean you're right at that age but double digits I mean I think look I get
what you saying when you're young it sucks because we're not taught about
sex when I talk when happens we should have sex later in life when we understand it
and when you're fucking around and your teens or you know you know whatever
even before that in first grade you find out all that shit I mean we've talked
about this and yeah dude you find out about you ding ding I bet you fucking play
with your friend I bet you don't put that Bobby. Okay, I just can't I actually have your friend
But you're right you get to a certain point where it gets passed what about what about those those
Lousy kids that are snitching on their teachers that are fucking all these hot teachers
They're all hot. They're all hot. They're a smoking hot young chick all these teachers when I was in high school
I would have been amazing to fuck
one of these hot. Absolutely.
No, but that's how the media works. There's one story like that and they see that it gets
clicks. So there's like 50 stories like that. Yeah. After the that fucking dentist killed
the lion, there's four more stories the next day about health professionals killing what
big game animals. It's like we're tired. And they're trying to be like, oh, this is freedom
of speech. Like you're trying to make money. oh, this is freedom of speech. You're trying to make money.
You dirt bags.
Everybody's like a fuzzy picture of like a dermatologist lobster trap.
The media, they're all fuck their liars, man.
They're like in the biggest liars.
It's a movie.
It's definitely a movie because it's like when they made the asteroid one good asteroid
movie, they were like, oh, this is going to be good.
They just made the exact same type of fucking movie.
They did it with switcheroo movies, too.
They did it big and vice versa I mean I always do it they always do
movie with asteroid movie did you like though the one Bruce Willis I like
I'm getting the best what was the other one deep impact deep impact with Robert
Duval and Morgan for the president wasn't it with the I remember a guy called
my because dude I can accept the asteroid coming. I can set blowing it up
I can accept you know going out there and and and putting a new gun but a black
Thing with freaky friday's how many freaky friday movies a bit where we wake up in different bodies
Yeah, oh my god, I'm saying shit switch a
ruse but the guys first I came out because of big and then there was another one called
18 again with George Burns. Is Kirk Cameron? No Kirk Cameron was like father like son.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
He was a great.
Oh, he was great.
Oh, he was shitty.
But what was great?
I have a Kirk Cameron had great hair.
I was sure to get better than sc good score, but what do you think?
A way better.
But score was here, it's quaffed.
Look at the way it's quaffed.
Yeah, but it's only does one thing.
It's, you know what I mean?
We could do a lot of things.
His hair affects El Nino.
All right, speaking of hair, speaking of movies,
I want to talk to my friend Sawyer, who's here,
and you're, you you know you're doing something
from the ground up and
What do you laugh about this like how we switch from temple over here raping?
Each is a dog from Northville. It's just living his life. Okay. I want to switch gears right now I'm nervous, I'm having a next one Going to Philly, we used to take the fucking closest guinea and fucking rape him
To the point
Oh my god, shit
I'm like, I just deal with things, Bobby
Well, I got to fucking, I got to find Segway somehow
And I thought TV, we got the Kirk camera, was it a Bronigan Christian
And then I switched it over
Yeah, I'm sorry for taking it so far left.
Kirk cameras me to fuckload of money this weekend his Jesus movie really cleared like 30 million on a two-mile away.
Yeah, oh my god.
Are you kidding me?
That's it.
Because he did that fireproof movie.
I watch a lot of these movies because they're fucking amazing.
But his one war room about people go into a room and instead of yelling at your spouse,
you write how much you hate him on the wall wall and then he comes in and writes how much he
hates this bitch and so on and so forth but it's all about Jesus. Yeah and I
made a fuck a little money. I don't see that common. What? Him being a Jesus when
he was Mike Seever. Yeah, I didn't see that. I didn't see it. Mike Seever was way more of a badass.
I think I don't like the people. I just like the characters. I'm really not like
Hawks to pull in my real is. I really don't.
I like boners to bum.
Why is it, when someone brings up Jesus,
it scares the shit out of me.
It should be the opposite.
Why is when somebody talks about Jesus,
a born again Christian, I'm like, fuck.
Because I'm so,
I'm so misinterpreted.
It's so misinterpreted, that's why.
Also, it's about that flamboyance thing, you know where it's like so heavily into it
No one's just a little into Jesus. You know what I mean?
They're literal face painters and carrying the defense to the game and you know, yeah
It's so flamboyant and so over the top
But that it's real and they morph it into their own weird interpretation of it and then force it on other
Yeah, that's not right. That's not real. Like I have no problem.
Gaze, anything fine, just when you, when you got a parade in the little shorts and if
you go to a game and paint your face and if it's Jesus down your throat, just do your
thing and do you, you know what I mean?
Not Jesus down your throat.
That was terrible after the game then.
But you know what I mean?
I think there's something about you, you anticipate this like off fuck here we go.
I'm going to go through a dissertation.
I don't think that's it. you anticipate this like off fuck here we go i'm gonna go through a dissertation
i don't think that's it i think what's i understand what you're saying but i
think uh...
what scares me
you know i i i i understand i think we're on the same page
what scares me is the
commitment
and the blind
the blind faith where there's no
you know if this is the way it is and that's it.
And if you go against it, you're going to hell.
It's, you know what I mean?
And it's just a belief.
It's, I don't get it.
This guy, you believe this, you believe that.
You judge that.
You judge that.
Without pretending you're not being judgmental.
You ever talk to a born again and you go, oh, you don't like K people?
You go, no, no, no.
I thought I don't like K people.
I just wish they would be saved.
And you go, that's not like in K people. That's judging them. Right now what you're doing is judging them. No, I don't gay people. I just wish they would be saved and you go that's not like in gay people
Yeah, it's judging them right now what you're doing is judging them. No, I don't judge them
I just wish they would be safe. Well, it would come to the light passive aggressive
It's very passive. I just wish they wouldn't put things where they poop from
That is for poop. That's the one hole one purpose. We can find another hole
But really don't put be peepy It's still a sales tactic though.
That's what it is. It's still always closing. But, Bobby, you know as a Bostonite, as a
sport, a guy who likes it in the butt. You know it, as somebody who takes it in the jaw.
Boston fans, New York fans, you know, like you get so feverishly mad about and you learn 10 facts
about your team's rival. And that's all you got.
So I mean the same religion, same hypothesis.
You shake out of that.
Like I shook out of that in my life.
I don't know, I only had six years ago, seven years ago.
I shook out of that because I looked around.
It was at the Super Bowl when the Giants won the first one with the helmet.
And I looked around and I was so fucking fucking angry.
I was violently angry.
Like somebody really did something bad to me
and I looked around and all these other guys were fucking pissed
and everybody was sad and all the women were sad.
And then I looked and everybody had the same logo on.
It was like a cult, that little head, that patron head.
And I was like, I was like, oh my God,
I'm a member of a cult.
I'm a fucking, this is a cult.
I feel like shit for no reason.
Cause I, nothing happened to my life.
Nothing changed.
You enjoyed something.
I was fine.
We were with family and friends.
We had food.
And my cult team didn't win.
And I wanted the fucking punch walls.
I'm a win outside.
And the guys were kicking.
Were to play footballs. Look man, I'm going outside and the guys were kicking. Were the foot balls?
Look man, I'm a big fan of Brady though.
Okay, so don't fucking say that.
So, my, I think he's fucking great.
I think that's fucking ridiculous too.
I think his punishment, his punishment
would he should have had to wife swap
with like a Jets defensive lineman.
I think that would have been a great punishment.
I think it would have been greater if you were a work-out joke.
I'm joking. I don't know. For that work been a great punishment. I think it would have been greater if you were a work-acturist. I don't know.
I don't know.
We're gonna sports show.
We're gonna have a free-owner back.
Yes, the other guy is the one who's gonna tell you, Bobby.
It's for no reason.
Come on, we've known you.
It sounds like an Italian curse.
I'll fuck you.
Anyways.
Oh man.
When you either hate the giants and hate your wife, though,
I think it's good to get wrapped up in sports,
because you get so fucking bent about the stupid thing. If you can do that and go back to life and have some
Sane this to it, but I really wanted to hurt somebody like I wanted to go fucking dry fast
weird way to hurt you. What is the fuck is this?
What do you get this picture of you running out of a room? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and all the religions they all go to the same place. They all go to the same place. Did that movie zeitgeist, have you seen that?
I'm not.
It's a great movie.
It's on the internet.
And it explains on the worldwide web.
Scobo pull it up.
No, no.
We're gonna have a scavenger alligator.
It's a four hour movie and I don't need him.
Yeah, they talk about all the similarities.
I'm gonna need him to do Skype in a second.
I need all his faculties.
They talk about how many relationships have.
I need to build up Scobo.
They're all exactly the same.
Scobo brain cells for the next one.
I'm kidding, Scopo.
Great hair, Scopo.
Great hair.
We're just a little stuff in between the hair, but listen, I'm kidding, Scopo.
I'm fat, you're dumb, that's the thing, all right?
Fucking deep who's a cunt.
That's our thing, okay?
Fat dumb and cutty.
It'd be a sick dumb.
Ooh.
But, what were we were talking about, I'm sorry.
They talk about it.
It's like guys, they talk about it.
They actually explain where religions come from.
And it's basically, it's the sun.
It's the fucking sun.
The evil is darkness because back in the day, when the sun went down, you were fucked.
You got eaten by a panther.
You don't have to hear it. And the day when you grew crops, yeah right exactly.
And they took what the Christmas, basically what pagans would do.
After Christmas, the sun, or whatever that day that is, the three days, it comes back up.
So the sun rises again, which is the son of Christ
right the sun comes back Christ comes back after he dies which is the sun coming
down it stops and then starts to come back up again a certain point it's all
taken from that and it's much better than me but it's a crazy list of the
amount of religions that have the same oh December 25th Virgin birth son
rises it's crazy everything is the same all these religions are the same. Oh December 27th Virgin birth son rises. It's crazy. Everything is the same. All
these religions are the same thing taken from like farmers who used it to survive back
in the day. It's great. Great movie. I wish I could have been around back then, but
like still the intellect. Not necessarily. You would not want to be around back then.
Right. He was there. He was all there back then.
It wasn't us.
It was Black Dude, man.
The heroes.
The heroes.
The heroes.
The heroes.
The Black Dude.
The heroes.
The heroes and Black dudes.
Same trick.
I don't want to get in touch.
Did you ever see Somalians?
I am your captain now.
I've seen that.
I've seen that.
Who's got the...
Mike, did you grow up religious? I've seen that. Yeah. It was God. All right.
Mike, did you grow up religious? Now I was grew up Catholic,
but it wasn't like forced down my throat.
That's why I'm me too.
And that's why I'm saying the death with it.
Catholic is like the only normal one because.
No way.
Well, I'm not going normal.
Are you not the right one to say that?
Do you ever find kids who fucking please
dig in their mouth?
I know.
I'm talking to my family, it's what they do.
Yeah.
It's what they do.
No, I'm saying like, not that, not the priest, fuck those priests.
But I mean, basically, if you take a born again and you take a Catholic, I think if you
take most Catholics and you burn them to a room and you go, do you guys really believe
this?
And they knew they weren't get repercussions.
Yeah.
No, we don't, right?
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You grew up a guy's didn't for tradition more than
those guys who went to those Catholic schools
would get it beaten and they were,
I got it sexually like, you touch your dick,
you're going to hell, you touch your dick,
you're going to hell.
I didn't get it.
Yeah, it's the worst.
Like those people end up like,
Cating God, like I hate God.
I didn't get it.
I get it.
I mean, I should question.
The grammar school was worse than high school.
High school was kind of like, all right, whatever.
Touch it. What? This Catholic high school, so. The grammar school was worse than high school. High school was kind of like, all right, whatever. It's touching with a little bit of this cat that high school.
What's gonna happen to all religions
when we find alien life form?
When the aliens, when we find other lives that exist,
what's gonna happen to the basis of religion then?
Because...
I think out of fear, it's gonna be made evil
because we don't know about it.
Anything unknown is wrong, it seems like I think
all the aliens
that's when religion will finally
let the cook off and become violent and go art it's all about control
well it's a good thing to think of the end of days and it's going to be a huge
well it's not about control
it is about control but it's a lot about money exactly
I mean the money
that they make is
for astronomical right and i'm living in his
that's why the church is basically that
but i the public have now
yet the great hope he's a great hope that the i think it's a real deal that
i want to have a church is basically dead north america
it's dead in your instead of the american it's latinos that are keeping it
that it's latinos that America, it's Latinos that are keeping it. It's Latinos that basically are keeping it in South America.
I know, I think it's just the Northeast because even Italians and Irish and all those
ethnic who are big into, they're out now, they're like, they're no good church anymore.
It's like Mexicans and South Americans who really, that's why the Pope is South American
Pope.
It's dying in Europe and it's dying in this country, I think, Catholicism anyway.
Well speaking of Catholicism, so you have a rock and roll movie.
The sick way king!
Wow.
First of all, I got a hot group in today, so that's why I love it.
But it's like, I love when the fuckin' you can't say I want to talk about this, perfect.
But you came in today, I want to kind of get this out.
Well, thanks.
Explain to everybody what you're doing.
So a buddy of mine, who also I grew up punk rock here.
We just play shows, basements, tour round.
Ever since I was 16, buddy of mine grew up the same way.
I wrote a script about what it's really like for a band
on the road, because you see movies, you see TV.
It's always the awesome shit with groupies, buses,
drugs.
And I've toured this country three times.
I toured Japan and every single time it's been in the back of a shitty van with people
that I love or hate or both.
And we say, yeah.
And you know, like when you and I met, when I had that job, I was in every time I get
time off.
This is what I would do.
I just hop out on my friend's band, find who was torn aware, grab for three weeks, whatever.
And what do you sing?
What are you doing?
Oh, no, well, yeah, I did shitty bands.
I sang in the loses sense of the word.
But in Mariah, which is rowdy, like just go.
And you're just hanging out.
Yeah, just cause fuck it, I got to Japan for free.
Like I couldn't have gone.
I couldn't have gone.
I just like that, huh?
No, that's the thing is not like.
I was like, is that where your head was all bloody
in your Instagram photo?
What the jug?
It doesn't help. But yeah, no, I mean, that's the thing is like,
punk rock got me laid here and there,
but it's more just because of my wild charm.
Like, there's no girls.
Like, you go to the shows, there are no girls.
Cop broke up a show on my buddy's house in Jersey,
and they're like looking around.
Like, are there any girls here?
Right, like, no.
Just a kid.
I'm like, how do you punk or a girl?
So bombed, he was just like, all right,
just, I don't know, keep it down.
Wait a minute.
He was gonna show the president.
We're gonna do a few new officers on the board.
Yeah, he wants to bring some girls for us.
Yeah, great.
Why girls don't follow punk?
No, some girls do, and it's more,
it's more now, because with the internet,
as with everything, it's spread out more,
and it's more accessible and easy to find out about.
But when I was a kid,
I'd get the Cosby Show, the original one.
It's hidden.
When I was a kid, the only way you found out
was you see some other weird kid school,
and he's got a fucking weird shirt,
and you talked about a shit,
and he's like, all this things happening.
And so now it's better now,
because, yeah, that's a lot for me.
It's still around the punk scene, right?
Yeah, it's real weird because there's bands that do like, uh,
warp to a level thing, but there's always,
band always will be this sort of like, uh,
what this is about, which is just a network of
kids who know, like,
if I travel across the country right now,
in almost every city, I know somebody because
I put on a show for them, or they in my house or I stayed at their house and
it's just the network of fucking kids there you know you got nothing else going
on in your life and this is what you do you go fucking screaming at basement
that's kind of like comedy though yeah I wish I wish I wish comics I wish we did
that more I wish I wish we stopped striving to be accepted as a headliner in the clubs, whatever clubs
they are. It's sad that we don't just band together and go, I mean it's money, it's selfishness,
it's ego, it's agents, it's managers, you know what I mean, but it's you know where we all just say fuck it Let's let's just go we're at the place rent the fucking car and
We'll split the money and we're all do some time and we'll fucking put on a killer show
Why don't we fuck why don't we do some people do it?
To be economically it has to be economically feasible for you
But why it's not it.
Well, because you got to make a living.
When I did these bands, I do this.
You know, nobody ever makes money.
Like you get your plane ticket paid for and you get food, you get somewhere to sleep, but that's it.
I would never do this as a career.
So what is this?
So what is it?
My buddy wrote a short about what it's like for a bunch of guys trying to go out in their first tour.
And it's like, I don't even remember
half the shows I've been to on tour but I remember why because like they're faced.
No I mean well sometimes but like no just because it's like it's a blur.
It all melts into one after the valley.
But I remember being in some fucking weird house in South Florida like doing a lot of
inhalants and then going to this fucking strip club that was in the back of a like in a parking lot.
You know she like that weird fucking stuff
that happens on tour.
And so that's what this is about.
It's just about a bunch of dudes
and how it goes horribly wrong,
the van breaks down, et cetera.
So you're producing this movie with a friend.
And it's basically all these stories about you guys.
Yeah, it's all cobbled from, you know,
from being actually being on the road.
Yeah.
And doing this.
Now, you're still doing this.
You still go out, even though you're making TV shows,
you're fucking doing great.
You're still saying, fuck it, you're doing all right.
You're doing better than Scopo.
That's not fair.
Hair wise too, actually.
Hair wise, yeah.
I would take his.
I would take, I would take, I would actually,
I would take, Sawyer's look over Scopo's hair, yeah, I would take his I would take I would take I would actually I would take
Sawyer's look over a scobo's hair. Yeah, absolutely. Do you guys have the right guy to put it together more? You do a beautiful hair
Those scobo's great here, but it's too much that just look what he just does it. It's curling the back
It's like he doesn't care, but it still looks good. Yeah, scobo that's like takes a long time if a wind hits it. He's fucked up
Yeah, I mean if he walks into a place
I know pretty sure this guy is here as opposed to hey, can we push this guy out of here? No, you have that too
I mean you have not push you out, but like you know just eyeball me, you know watch his hands. Yeah
I think it's probably better for Scopo in that sense dude
I I think that's a really awesome project man. That sounds incredible. I love music and I love the parallel
between comedy and music.
I think anybody that really loves both,
sees and feels the fact that like there's so much
of that starving artist that you get out on the road,
you take what you can, you basically make,
you lose money the first however many years, right?
I mean, every day we all lost money
doing comedy in the beginning, so.
I still don't know.
That's what Stavros said to me.
That's why I love that Stavros kid.
He just moved to New York and he's like,
dude, I just want to do dates.
I go, dude, some of these gigs don't have those towels,
you know, whatever, I don't, you know,
I'm not, I'm not making money where I can throw you up.
I'm not fucking, you know, he was like,
I don't give a shit.
He goes, I don't care, dude.
I just want to do gigs and become funnier. He goes, I was like, I don't give a shit. He goes, I don't care, dude, I just want to do gigs
and become funnier.
He goes, I'll fucking, I don't mind being poor.
He's like, I don't give a shit about being poor.
I'll be poor as long as I can get stage time
and become funnier, I'm good.
If you think about it, we're all kind of living
in a van here, you know what I mean there.
New York is just a big van for people who want to make it.
I live in a van.
I live in a van.
And that's when I go to my house in Connecticut,
but otherwise. I'm going to be. I live in real life. When I go to my house in Connecticut, but otherwise,
I'll be a wife's house.
Oh, yes.
You mic, mic,
it looks like a big van.
You all want a fucking house.
I don't know, shit dude.
I don't know, shit my wife owns it.
I'm one flight away from being homeless.
So, that's why he's still in shape.
If it was his house, he'd be fat like me.
You know, that's off the house, you shit.
I spent 20 years on the road following the band fish.
I've seen him about two and a half times.
Are you kidding me?
You like fish?
Yeah, I've seen him 200 times.
Wow, what a shocker.
Yeah, I love him.
I love the grateful dad.
I love all that.
You?
I love live music.
Yeah, yeah, huge fan.
I can't tell you how much I fucking hate pigs.
That's okay.
That's fine.
That's it.
I love all music.
I love all music, but I love the community aspect of it
where it's like, do me and my buddies that played football
together, we would just, we'd landscape the first half
of the summer and then we'd drive around the country
in a van for like six, seven weeks.
The music was 50% of it.
It was just going and being on the road
and breaking balls and having a good time.
I never understood that. It might be for my dumb boss to hang out with a budget tag I was just going and being on the road and breaking balls and having a good time. I never understood that.
It might be for my dumb boss to hang out with a bunch of tag.
I was just drinking and party.
But I fucking hated fish.
Gravel dead.
I want to fucking stab smelly people.
I just fucking hate people that can camp on shit wherever.
I just hate it.
But I went to a blues festival this year in Hampshire.
My uncle was like, you should come.
I was like, eh, I brought my kid, me and my wife,
we got some chairs.
We went to this smelly festival.
And it was a...
It was a...
It was a...
It was not as bad as it used to be, but...
It was a blast.
It is fun.
I mean, my kid, this is when I know I was wrong.
I'm looking at my kid,, having a fucking, dancing.
He's got glass on his sweat and he's gonna stink himself.
You know what I mean?
I was like, what's the minute?
He comes back with a quarter ounce of mushrooms.
He's like, that's right.
That's why I was at the Bonero and fucking Irish affair.
Rolls out a bag of mushrooms.
I go, are you making a salad?
I'm gonna say it at the whole food.
It was like fucking massive.
When I was a kid, we used to make psychedelic steak and cheese.
We would make foot long steak of butter.
That's what I'm from.
I'm from Philly.
I'm an idiot.
We ain't making it.
We ain't making it.
We ain't making it.
We ain't making it.
Psychedelic fillings.
Hey, honey, you like a steak and cheese?
You wake up the next day, but you're not your fault.
What hit you? It's like a cartoon rape cheese. You wake up the next day, but you're just gonna know your foe.
What hit you?
It's like a cartoon rape deal.
I can't cry.
That's awesome, bro.
I can't wait to see it.
Well, here's what.
Yeah, so, yeah, we're still raising money right now to shoot it in a couple months.
And...
Right now, just give out the website where you can go.
DetourFilm.info.
D-T-O-U-R.
Yeah, here's what I'm talking about.
I don't know why he picked a dot info makes it sound
sleazy to me but i like that but that comes the same price i don't know
here's a thing i like about it
is that right now you can just do this
well like you know me and burr and doroso you know which is that we always
said why are we waiting
with some of the cast us why we do in these auditions we're gonna have to do
them they stink nobody you know the famous guy always gets it let's just go And why are we waiting for someone to cast us? Why are we doing these auditions? We're gonna have to do them.
They stink.
Nobody, you know, the famous guy always gets it.
Let's just go make right and make our own film.
Let's just go do it.
Put our money where our fucking mouth is.
And now you can do these go-fund me's.
And you can actually have your fans.
I wish we did this with the movie Cheat
because I could have fucking saved a couple thousand dollars.
But, well, not with my fans, with Billy friends with billies fans would have paid for everything but uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh That's what I really meant. But you can, now you can, now you can, I just laughed at my own joke too hard.
I'm sorry.
But you can put these things up there.
No, this is great.
This is awesome.
Like anything, what fucking bugs me about these go,
these, you know, you can have something great
where you can have people who love creativity
or technology or whatever it is.
They can give a couple
bucks and if you get you know thousands of people all of a sudden you have the
money thousands of dollars which is great but now like anything they have to
fucking ruin it because I got one I get this stuff all the time on Twitter hey
can you retweet kids sick or you know my wife is sick and I always try to if I
can retweet, absolutely.
I know guys who are famous, who have bigger Twitter
are constantly that won't do it.
They just don't, no, they won't.
They, I get it though, because you can't do,
you could, you literally sit there all day
and retweet everybody's problems.
You have to pick and choose what,
which ones are worth while.
No, we're not worth while worth while but to you what affects you
And you know, I get it being five. This is like being God. I
Try to
On Twitter. I'm gonna be on your tombstone
I try to
Have you ever had one what you didn't retweet it? Well the other day I read it and it was they wanted pizza
I would retweet that no, I don't want to retweet that because I just read
Retweeted some sick kid one and now they're like hey, dude. Yeah, it's down the sick kid and I know I clicked on it
It's like we're trying to get a pizza tonight
How is re you retweeting it? They just wanted a pizza and I don't want to fucking help you get your dumb pizza I know I wouldn't have the fuck them just I'd rather have a great book. Can you can you drop a pizza?
Yeah, give me some fucking pizza. Yeah, I would I would have I would have got him the pizza
You would have I have to fight would have called them up
I would have called up put her on my card and had police pizza delivered to the house
I'm gonna fucking that is the best though
I love back. They had the balls to do it because Because I think that shit is hilarious. It's probably just a joke.
It was a joke because I had to, when we retweet this stuff all the time,
and sometimes you don't look at it. And you know, there's been a couple I just
retweeted and I probably should have looked at because you never know what it was.
You know, it could be, you know, it could go from my granny porn.
Yeah, it could go from my granny porn. Yeah, it could go from my granny porn.
Bobby, I love Hitler. Bill, you're retweeted.
Bill Cosby's support group, the Northphilly alliance.
The Westphilly Alliance.
Jesus. Dear fat people, can you read this?
You hear about that girl? No, what is that?
Dear fat people, do you hear about this? The girl who?
I don't like that he accused because I'm fat. I should have heard
about it. Yeah. Country with the newsletter might be in your
junk mail. Every time every time Yeah. Country with the newsletter. Might be in your junk mail.
Every time he's hosting with the seller, we have to do a dance to get off stage.
So our stomach's usually touched.
Belly's talking.
We have to spin it one point.
Like one goes into one comes off.
It's like moving furniture, but there's no furniture.
In a massive piano in the way.
No, this girl made a video called Dear Fat People.
And she's kind of hot, I guess.
And it's her video blog where she just goes, tees off on fat people and shits all over
them and it went viral and YouTube took it down and considered it hate speech.
Oh, come on.
It's bullshit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's gone.
It's off of YouTube, right?
You faddies need a thicker skin.
How can you get? We're as close to whales as you can possibly get, Michael.
I don't like your skin as thick as the pizza dough.
Not unless you have a Sawyer disease.
The thick is your inner skin.
But it is a great, you know, when you showed me this,
I think it's fucking great because in the past,
what you would have to do is go pitch this.
And you'd have to raise money, and someone would have to go, okay,
and you guys would make no money.
At that point, you'd have to turn
over all your rights to whoever the fuck gave you that money.
And you'd go, now, you can go and do it yourself.
And actually make money.
That, do you think that's honestly though?
Talking to the mic.
Honestly though, back, I would always be,
I'm never lying to you.
Film was the first, yeah.
Film was the first thing that, like, it's been a while where you could have done what they're doing right now
The crowdsourcing thing is is new. Yeah, but I'm saying but indie film has been going on for how many?
Yeah, but indie film you you're getting somebody with money something
You're gonna take the monsters. Yeah, now they're actually getting people to donate the money and their using their own equipment
But here's the two there in control of it. Creative control is the best thing ever.
I mean, if Louis is proven anything,
it gives you that freedom to create great stuff.
Absolutely.
Okay, I mean, he doesn't get paid that much to do a show.
He gets a back end deal and he gets an amazing show
that wins Emmys, but like weird.
What happened?
Shannin just fell on the floor. Shannin just fell. Haunted room.
Shannin just fell.
That's, that's the thing that you.
That's crazy if you tell the,
but now, I mean, like we did with my special.
I mean, you know, we were all lined up
with another company who was gonna pay for it.
And I didn't make a fucking dime.
I made shit money.
He made money off of my commission
and maybe produce it.
We would have made nothing.
And it would have went less places than it did.
And there was a point where I was like,
fuck it, I'm gonna put the money up.
Sharper's like, I'm gonna do it.
You're gonna fogo any money,
you're gonna take a rest, too.
And we'll see what happens.
And then you put it online.
No, we put it out, we did, people bought it.
We fucking, the people who didn't want to buy it, bought it.
You know what I mean?
After you did it.
Yeah, they bought it, because it was good, because, you know,
okay, if this guy does it, maybe you're right.
But Jim Srepochow has been making TV and film for years,
Bobcat, and, you know, and then he gets the crew that comes in.
He knows this guy is a great design.
This guy is amazing lighting.
This guy is amazing sound.
These people, that's what you do.
You do this for a living for years.
You create relationships.
So when you give them the opportunity, it just comes out great.
You know what else to do about that?
Your project is that there's such a feverish underground,
like rabid fan base that will go out just to see
and pay a couple bucks to see that,
because either they've been through it
or music fans love their music,
just like comedy fans love their comedy.
Like you, it's not like you're making a thing about,
you know, fucking, you know, just coffee or whatever.
You know what I mean? Like that's a niche market that'll definitely...
Yeah, but how great is it?
Imagine if you could actually have a piece
of a cool little movie.
Like you put five bucks, whatever, 10 bucks, even a buck.
You put a buck in, put a buck in,
and then all of a sudden the movie comes out
and you help make that happen.
It's like, you know, that's why I love kickstarter.
Like, you know, this coin card I got, you know, I paid this little thing. It's a coin thing that
has all my credit cards on it. And it's on the one card. And it was on kickstarter. And I just gave them
50 bucks and they now they got it. I mean now you
can have all your credit cards and you know whatever Chipotle cards everything
goes on this one card so you don't have to carry around a bulky ass wallet.
I mean is it is this gonna this is probably outdated already whatever I
but I I love it it's kind of cool for me but I helped I love that I helped
that technology actually exist I look at that like oh but I helped, I love that I helped that technology actually exist. I look at
that like, oh shit, I helped them do that.
Hold on, but now so there's a day have a database with all your credit card information
in the time.
Yeah, they had it already though.
No, that's, that's, that's, no, there's no more secrets.
And we are, they know that.
The security on this is ridiculous.
Okay.
Yeah, so funny from Philly.. You gotta go right to the way
I don't care like I had a friend of mine. I was gonna go get I'm going to get global one I have TSA approved if you don't have TSA approved you probably don't have easy pass and you should be fucking murdered
Because you're an asshole
If you don't have easy pass and it's some weird I don't want them to know what to like
Fucking yeah, yeah, it's like what are you doing that you don't want them? Who do you give a shit?
I don't you killing people listen, are you posby? I'm married. I got a kid. I you what are you gonna do?
Catch me jerking off in the shower. That's all I do and for any point
The danger is that they can take your they could take whatever and they can manipulate it
any way they want.
Go ahead.
That's the problem.
Go ahead.
That's the problem.
What are you gonna manipulate?
They could do whatever they want with any of you.
All of your information.
Give me, give me something.
Give me a lot of the numbers.
They don't matter.
They don't mean anything really.
It's just a, like your credit score,
it's just a fucking imaginary number.
It doesn't really mean anything.
Oh, no.
Wow.
To me, to me, it's perfect I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, They got down to King's e-pass. He would have been fucked. Did you go through the hall and time?
Or Wednesday or the Lincoln?
He's coming.
You're saying something.
I'm not trying to attack you, Michael.
No, I think you are. I feel like I know when you're...
They can't see it, but maybe they can't see it.
The credit card people can see it.
Can you get Mike in the water? He's choking, but your eyes get smaller,
and you get more directed towards your prey,
which is me in the situation.
Listen, this would have been way easier for Mike
to turn around and get him.
Thank you, Sean.
My friend.
I'm the one who told him to get it.
I'm the one who said he got it.
He sent me up.
He told him to get me water so that you can attack me and look like a fucking good guy.
You're three bottles of water in already, dude. What's up? What's going on?
Came from hot yoga, bro.
All right, let's go to the chat room. Deep, what do you got?
It better be on like not the conversation an hour ago.
Yeah, that's all I got.
Kirk Cameron's weirder. What are they saying right now? be on like not the conversation an hour ago. Uh, yeah, that's all I got.
Kirk Cameron's weird.
What are they saying right now?
What was the last tweet thing I think they came up?
Travis, the latest comment is Travis Berger says,
Bobby says it just comes out.
Looks like there's a lot more going in.
That was funny.
What else you got?
Laughing bears as Fonalia puts together some pretty coherent sentences for 200 fish shows.
Yeah.
Thanks buddy.
That is stressful.
You really should be dumber.
I'm pretty dumb.
I'll write a few.
At 200 was that a goal at some point you were like,
No, I'm at like 203 or whatever.
What do you got in the deep hutch at?
Travis also says, I'd rather shower at penned
penned states then listen to the day of defend cosby
uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh...
uh...
uh...
uh... uh... uh... uh...
uh...
uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh...
uh...
uh...
uh...
uh...
uh... uh... uh...
uh... uh... uh... haven't you had a good run? Why don't you do like a, why not die like a paterno death?
You know, like the second paterno found out about,
like literally Sandusky got busted and paterno was like,
I'm out of here, it's getting late and he just died.
Right before all the shit.
What can I say that the real issue is like,
I know he's a rapist, I got, he's a rapist,
he's a bad guy, but now people are coming back
and be like, and the cards we show was shit too.
It's like, take it off the air, it's like the car. You people have a real problem with that.
It's like he's a guy. He's a bad guy. He's a terrible guy. But the show that that he created was a good.
It was a good show. You phenomenal father. Like they want to take a paternal like we take him down
to you take all the records from him. Like you can't erase what happened. Yeah, I mean,
we know what happened and everybody just kind of has to live with it
you don't like that though they want you to strip everything take it all that I'm like
okay, I'm a bad guy we didn't know that before and you know what might
disappear until until the next thing happens that's the biggest thing and then it's like no
it's all fucking Nashart teeth on this thing like you were saying earlier about the media
it's just everything's insane for a minute and then they go
ah let's race over here it's been a lot of separate the characters. It's just everything's insane for a minute. And then they go, ah! It's race over here. It's brutal.
I don't know how to separate the characters either.
That's the same shit that they did to the puppeteer that was doing Elmo.
Elmo didn't do anything to those boys, but it was the guy.
You know, and they came out for it.
Well, in that case, he did it as Elmo. That's why I was fucked up.
Yeah. Which makes it a little hotter.
Oh, shit, I just made that up.
That's what I'm thinking.
I'm like, I'm shooting every day.
Same thing with like an R Kelly thing. The R Kelly thing. It's God, thank you. I love it like every day. Same thing with like an R Kelly thing.
Yeah.
The R Kelly thing, it's like, do you not listen to it
with a music and people are like,
ah, I love this music.
It's like, well, you could separate it there.
Right.
But you can't separate it.
Like, even when the sopranos came out.
This is different people.
He's good.
So, you can rape those women.
You're different people.
The people who's in a hip hop and R and B
are younger and a little hipper.
The people that are watching the Cosby Show
or, you know, are a little older and they're women and they're offendeder, the people that are watching the Cosby Show or, you know,
are a little older and they're women and they're offended about what the fuck happened.
And it's a, it's, you're portray, here's what the problem is, our Kelly's music is about
fucking and loving and sex and...
And being on church, you know what I'm saying?
Okay, well that's love.
But the Cosby Show, you're rep...
But mineers.
Yeah, but he's representing himself as the perfect guy,
the perfect man.
Like this is what, you know, he's, hey,
and it's hard for them to go, nah, you raped 39 women
and I can't buy it, I don't wanna fucking see it.
That's what you know it's there, what you have to get more.
Well, you know what's funny, too,
is like it's Claire Hux, the bull is a pretty powerful progressive woman on the show,
too.
Yeah, right.
Talk about irony.
Right.
I do think he got it right.
Super fan of the show.
Nothing.
Cockroach.
He didn't hear my joke.
How do you think he got her?
Very true.
Yeah, he had access to all those doctor drugs.
All right, listen, back.
Speaking of Bill Cosby, your movie.
Yep, mostly.
That's how you talk to him.
Hong Kong, Hong Kong.
He's speaking to Bill Cosby.
The Van Bill and the Cosby.
Talk about drugs.
Yeah, there are drugs for sure.
Less the down.
Now, it's more uppers.
Now, when I first started, I thought
I was going to actually be a documentary, but it's not.
No.
It's scripted.
It's scripted, yeah.
Yeah.
And are you going to be in it?
No.
You're just going to produce it.
Yeah. Can I be in it? Sure. You're just going to produce it.
Yeah.
Can I be in it?
Sure.
Do you prefer that?
The behind-the-scenes stuff?
Yeah.
I've done cameos of a guy coming out of a massage parlor, fixed his pants after a...
What was that?
That was a bend to the season.
Bender's new scene.
Show coming out really quick to the other show.
Yeah, no.
Definitely.
It's October 1st. First.
IFC.
IFC.
IFC is stepping up.
IFC has been doing that.
They have fucking stepping up, man.
They went from the weird little network.
Now they got Marin.
Oh, they got, yeah.
Port Lydia, they also got, um, the show you guys were on.
The Eric, what's his name?
The No, that's, the dance moves.
The dance moves, man.
Yeah.
Oh, he's on Cartoon Network.
Oh, I thought they were on FC.
No, whatever.
But now they got Benders, which is coming out written and directed.
Written and created by Jim Sergo Tom Silletti.
The two fucking best dudes in the business.
On the business, and they put a couple of us in it.
A lot of us actually, a lot of comics in it.
There's definitely no reason that, right? a couple of us in it. A lot of us actually, a lot of comics in it, which is awesome.
There's definitely no reason, right?
There's definitely no one of the stars
who is, he is so fucking good at this.
I mean, you can't see that.
I remember, I, the Stefano years ago called me up,
I'm doing this thing and my mother's basement,
can you come do it?
We did this short movie.
It was this crazy movie.
I remember sitting there with her,
I'm like, why, I'm in a basement right now.
He's like, it's pointed.
It's pointed.
It's a pointed.
Whatever.
But to see him now, you tell you,
you fucking Andrew Schultz is in it.
He's fucking hilarious.
Those two fucking assholes.
But the other two guys they got,
who's the guy with the glasses again, what's his name?
Mark Gessner.
That motherfucker is funny. And the other Asian guy,
Philippine, really is kind of. It's great. The chicken,
it's great. Lindsey Brody. Yeah, I mean, it's a show about
men's league hockey, men's league hockey, not amateur,
not professional, the worst. They're the worst fucking worst
division. Like, I have to work, but worst, so much. Oh, yeah,
like, so much like, dog sports, like that kind of, yeah, like a beer much. So much like dog sports like that kind.
Yeah, like a beer league.
Yeah, the bottom of the
Yeah, softball hockey.
Yeah, I mean it's it's literally there's no reason for them to do it.
It does nothing to change the world.
There's no fans.
You know what I mean?
They're just playing for themselves to go and do a good fuck off.
Yeah, take your way to serious.
Yeah, it's great.
It should a hilarious show.
I'm coming out.
IFC.
Marin is awesome too.
I watched Marin.
Marin's really good.
I was, again, produced by Apostle N directed this time by
Serpent.
Yeah, it's fucking, I love seeing that.
But now you got this, which is coming out.
And when are you going to start filming it?
When is the, when is the donations done and when do you start filming it?
What's the goal?
Well, we're supposed to shoot it in November in LA.
We may end the pushin' back to March to do it here.
It's a lot of boring details that I'm gonna go into.
But the donations, Indiegogo's sweet
because you can just sort of leave it open indefinitely.
Because, yeah, because if you don't
necessarily hit your goal, which we're a ways from,
but we've gotten, it's been fuckin' phenomenal.
It's come through so far and it's gonna help us out a lot. So I think it officially closes in two days,
but it also then stays open.
We're scaling back now, we're going,
we're trying to pull 20, but we read it everything,
and we're gonna try and do it now for 10.
10 gram, yeah.
Okay, so now, if somebody does donate to it,
do you have like anything they get?
Okay, there's original T-shirts,
we have a bunch of designers and design punk bands t-shirts
doing them. There's posters, there's you know science shows. So if you give a certain amount,
you get a t-shirt. Yeah, I think it's like 25 bucks and like that. That's fucking great.
I'm in. I'm gonna donate. I'm gonna donate a couple hundred bucks. All right.
You know my t-shirts? I'm gonna donate 10 grand.
I'm getting out of here. What't get it. I'm getting it.
What are you saying about the internet?
You can't erase it.
I honestly don't want to erase it.
Here's a bag to go.
Here's a bug, man.
I'm with my Philly right now.
I can't, my wife would kill me.
So you need that for this.
We got it, we do the pavement.
Don't worry.
No, the, we'll take care of your wife, all right?
Stand by.
Oh.
I am not with you.
North Philly style. North Billy style.
That's it.
Now the rad thing about the way you can shoot now is
when we sort of like realize that the original
like length we're looking to do is a bit ambitious,
we just retooled and now we're gonna do the same thing
just for less money because it doesn't take that much
these days.
It's been a huge help so far.
Alright so listen everybody listen
into this podcast right now.
So all 13 of you. Yep. if you can give a thousand dollars each.
I'm not listening.
What?
No, give the website one more time.
DTourfilm.info, D-E-T-O-U-R, film.info.
Everybody in the chat room right now, go tweet that.
Someone says, one of the prizes should be a lock
of your beautiful hair.
That is very doable.
Can we do that?
Yeah man.
I just haven't wanted to get hair cut
because I'm fucking broke right now.
So we'll cut it off right now.
All right, a hundred bucks.
Shave your head.
A hundred bucks.
I don't do that.
No, but weird scars and lumps.
And we know you're fucking moving it.
I follow your Instagram.
I'm gonna definitely donate to it.
And you guys should too.
Everybody listen and make sure you go there and donate whatever you can.
I'm gonna tune up right now.
We're gonna box five bucks, anything helps.
We're gonna tweet it out, we're gonna get this funded and it's gonna go for a while.
So don't worry about the two day limit, just keep giving to these guys and give as much as you can.
And then when you see the movie, you'll be fucking part of it.
What about giving away a part in the movie, like a walk?
Yeah, we're doing that.
Really?
For sure.
How much is that?
I don't remember.
That's fucking great.
I should do it.
Just to get in the movie.
Yep.
Buy a credit.
Just to walk in and just go,
DADD!
DADD!
All right, listen, we're going to take a break real quick.
We're gonna come back.
We've got a couple of things to talk about.
I'm gonna maybe try to get a call in, because now we have,
we actually have, we can have people call in to the YKWD.
So high tech.
It is pretty high tech for us.
Yeah, really awesome.
No, we're gonna be able to call in and you be like,
I just have to hold the phone up to the microphone.
And now you actually just comes in and you can hear, and they can hear you.
Awesome.
That's good.
I'm going to go into it.
Well, well, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.
Big fat, maybe.
Just explain telephoning.
I'm just going to take a piss.
We'll be back in a couple of minutes.
Let's try this again.
Why can't I hear myself?
There we go. Is that me? That's me. That's me.
That's right. Sean, you look like a fat Viking.
I don't know. I just saw how to train a dragon too. And you remind me of the
Chubby Or one. The guy who I who, anyway, check this out. Your season
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only a draft kings dot com that draft
kings dot com that's draft
kings
dot com we're gonna say some people
no i was just uh... enthralled by the read i was
oh i want to sign up for draft
things right now i thought you kept going to the microphone
it is very it's a great idea
it is it is one week drafting
it's uh... that's the best part of the draft or your fancy leech if you're a fan of it exactly. All right
We're gonna be back right
What's up, buddy? You got it. Oh look at little creamers. You know, let's just go back into it
We didn't do some dramatic fucking swing. I got the I got the sweeper if we want it
But do we need it? I think we're all ready to go back in.
Let's do.
Yeah.
Let's do.
We're all pro.
We're going to call somebody right now.
We have a bit.
We have a bit.
I was just fucking 1990 for the crank.
Yeah, we'll do our own jerky board.
Tonight I'm on evening at the improv, bud.
It's called most tavern.
Yeah, I'm looking for a man to hogging kiss. Yeah, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, That's queer if you're asking me, I mean, who are you gay? You're gay for me.
We right now, we have a big night. Hello.
Everybody, I would like to welcome the first caller
live on the Riky WWE podcast.
Part of the truck and let down having me call.
No, absolutely, but listen.
Everybody else has. If you call like nine people and no one answered. ha what truck and let down having me call no absolutely but listen
everybody else actually called like nine people no one answered everybody
that would be
but anyways patrick this is patrick from the stand
uh... he is one of the managers over there uh... correct
yeah manager booker owner
idiot that post on social media all that dumb shit
that that that that
uh... you're really slow self-esteem that
you know for all the people keep me humble i won't get a you know
uh... cockiness to me so it's good
i actually think you're waiting your face keeps you in check
and i don't think you need your career to keep you that way.
See what I'm talking about?
Bobby, I remember when you were a good-looking John Leg with
Elmo clone, so you can't go there.
I'm coming back, Pat.
I got one more shot at the title.
How many years now?
17.
You're going to go good.
Well, tonight we got a very, very special night.
It's almost like a YK wd night over at the stand
because we have
uh... my uh... video producer deep who
and my regular producer of the show
chris kopo
going toe
to toe
in the uh... what's it called again
roast bad
the roast masters uh... the stand
why the road what what the fuck is the roast masters you could do a green
jackets
that's what i think that you're for us to do that the festival's a
ross method in the station one second there are getting the bomb and in
the throne that my microphone
that
my green jacket uh... so are so they do a different thing is the same thing what is it and
so they do a different thing is that the same thing what is it
i don't know if they do it
did they do it the same thing is a different thing over there
what is the one that Jeff Ross is what are you doing what is the show
well initially started at the comedy store in l.a. it was called the roast battle
yeah
created by brian moses and well battle and then i've apparently had a
falling out in ral started his own show in new york
so now uh... we'd lined up with jeffrey rost to do his version the uh... the
roast masters though it's pretty much a shows that are done at the festival
they had a montreal to do a new york comedy festivals like the same circuit
it's a few days of the well and our show is also being included in that that have done it to festivals, they had it in Montreal, they had it in New York comedy festivals, like the same circuit for meetings that do well,
and our shows are also being included in that.
So is Jeff Ross gonna be there tonight?
Who's gonna be there tonight?
He's not gonna be there tonight.
He has a gig in Rhode Island,
but whenever he's in New York on a Tuesday night,
he'll be there, but tonight I got
Ari, Sophia, Mark Norman, and you are judging.
So now who are the contestants?
The contestants are, we're gonna open up with your producers, scope, versus the crew. Really? Baton Leedoff. Producer against producer.
Yeah, they're fighting for your affection and respect. Yes, hairy against non-hairy.
In-shape against non-in-shape. Big ass. Yes, the gaskers. It smells like ass.
non-enchaped big ass versus snow like ass wow
I was a hack in the intro
I was good at that
I was good at that
Give me a favor, get a napkin
and put it on your phone
I thought it was more of a hack
Pakistani joke, but that's just me
Whoa, wait to take it down further
Sorry, I'll take it
I'll take it
I'll take it We also got take it. I'll take it.
So we also got the dudes from Philly from the Center City
podcast Andrew Sivong versus H. Wolley.
Love that loud.
Shivong is your the great last name.
Really is a good last name.
Shivong.
Michael Jackson.
Shivong.
It reminds me of something like from the Vernon Shirley.
I mean, the happy days, Aaron.
That's squeaky and give it up for Shivong.
Where is Shivong? He's supposed to be here, Richie
He doesn't know how to pick it up and keep plugging man. No
Yeah, Pat watch the fuck
that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I'm gonna go head to head and I can be brutal now. What time am I gonna I don't have to I don't have to judge those ones I'm just judging the first two or the first one right? You can judge it all three day fly by real quick
Okay, all right. Well, so this is gonna be I've never been a part of something like this you guys do a lot of
Different out of the box shows over there right over at the stand
Yeah, I love seeing you know
Of course, I'm a comedian's in their element doing stand up
But I love seeing them taking out an element to see them, you know, of course, some of comedians in their element doing stand up, but I love seeing them take another element to see
them, you know, how creative they are when they're not in a traditional
stand up format. So yeah, this is I've always been a fan of the roast. The first thing I
ever covered was the treats as roast, which you got me into. Yeah, so I did get you
into that. Did not. What's that? I got you into that. Did not. Yeah, you got me into
that. I helped you, you know, promote it on old you got me into that I helped you you know promoted on old creamer dot com and you know I was since
Yeah, I've been hooked on roast and I produced a few so you know this is right
You've eaten a couple too fatty
Is there another one? Wow
That wasn't break it up
I know what's taking up in person?
Hang on, I said you've eaten a couple of fattzo.
Couple of like sat on fat crime.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
It would bite more if you were skinny.
Well, you know what, dude.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
I'm gonna come back, dude.
I'm gonna make one more shot.
I'm gonna get thin, not thin.
I'm gonna go, I'm gonna be more in shape than this.
That's my goal.
I was just talking about that.
I really don't want you to die
of a massive heart attack, Tony.
Too funny.
Wow.
First of all, what the fuck was that?
I mean, Sean's fat.
There's a lot of fat comics out there.
Well, I wasn't shooting on him for being fat.
You were in Puggy now, he hasn't, yo, yo, yo,
and I've always been a fat fuck, so I'm gonna go on.
First of all, yo, yo, yo, ain't doesn't been a fat fuck so I'm gonna go on and down. First of all, yo yo wing doesn't mean
you're gonna die of a heart attack.
That's a myth.
That's how Tom Hanks got diabetes.
That's how the Hanks has diabetes?
Yes, because his weight would shift up
and he had to gain and lose for parts.
Serious word of God.
Did I do that too?
Did I do that too?
Why would I fucking mind when you do that?
You guys don't know what to do?
I got a lot going on right now, so give me a second.
All right, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
don't tell him to Google anything. He didn't, where'd he go, I don't know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no show. Wow. That's right. I was there. I witnessed it. He did well. Yeah, but it was. Did he do good or did
Joe not care? Yeah, did Joe take him? Did he take him for granted? Was Joe not on his game because
it's Scopo? Or did Scopo really take him out? Scopo had good jokes. Uh-huh. I think it was a combination
of it too. You know, I didn't see it, but I call it a wind of it. So it's, uh, you know, even there's
no excuses to Fel if you have a
you know you gotta come bring a game
what's going on since it was like you the best
uh...
not a good
bring
i did it
my coverkire in the corner
i did it
mr. Miyagi
we did it
as mother runs to the stage or Hat falls off?
He grabs listen, goes to live or die man, and listen to this.
I just want to get along with everybody.
I can't believe you guys are here right now and not preparing.
It's really a preparation game.
I'm pretty prepped.
It's shitty opening.
But, what do you say that?
These guys are going to do great great deep who's all ready to go
Now deep who you know you definitely has a lot of print of rage and and whatnot so you can't let it out
He is angry dude deep who deep who is angry guy deep who you angry? No, it's just my thick eyebrows everyone thinks that
What do you know another you rose faster yourself?
Don't give don't get scubbled.
Actually, at one point, as I was writing the roast jokes,
I got like, I started getting paranoid and started
writing for the wrong side, just like starting
anticipating what he'd say about me.
What like, M&M in eight miles?
Yo, yeah.
I'm angry.
That my fuck yellow.
I eat Steve food for who gives a fucks fellow.
Damn, you're good at that.
You're on my clothes, don't match.
I got him out of a bin.
What's your fucking sin, bitch?
Oh!
And I'm pretty sure a scoeple called me last Thursday
to like feel me out, kind of see where I was at.
Really, what do you mean?
Yeah, I think so.
What do you say?
I'm out of the case, what's-
Fucking called you to get the thing to rob.
And I was just fucking around him.
I was like, what are you doing right and right now?
Ooh, yeah, I think you started saying like, oh make sure it's not too inside because then the crowd won't get it
I was fucking helping you out, I'm like, don't give it inside joke, it's gonna bomb
I'm fucking trying to be a friend here
See, so that's not the same thing
I'm all for you, I was literally all for you advice
That is good advice
A friend who's trying to find out information. So your parents so much. Yeah. Yeah.
Now, are you sitting on your food ton right now?
Now, do you like curry?
Are you a fan of curry?
Is your carpet magic?
I'm sorry.
Do you have gotdie furniture?
Yeah.
Do you have flying carpets?
Have you ever eaten a pet that died naturally?
Yeah. Will you try to get info?
No, I was really just trying to fucking be a friend.
But you think he was trying to get some info?
I think he was just feeling me out.
You know, just see how I felt about the whole thing.
How do you feel about it?
I feel pretty good to be honest.
Really?
You think you're gonna win?
I've been working on it pretty substantially
for the past months.
You're getting like an end in crap.
Stand up.
Let me see your game, face deputant.
Let me see in his eyes when he's ready enough.
Look at the camera for us.
Oh, here.
So you're going to hit it.
It's going to be fun.
I'm not going to guarantee you anything.
I'm not going to say, oh, I'm going to win two rounds.
But it's going to be a, I'm proud of what I've put together
so far.
Can you tell us how this works?
This is so polite.
Patrick, how does this work? I don't know.
What do you get three judges? We sit down, right?
Yeah, three battles total. Each battle is three rounds. The first battle is called
Tiffa Tatto. Communions go back and forth for five jokes.
Okay. And the second round is like a like a dialogue. You each get 30 to 45 seconds,
nonstop. And then for those who are third round, then it's Tiffa Tat fatag once again. Now what is this dialogue? I don't understand you can just say no it's just jokes and a
route. It's just jokes and a route. It's like no. Yeah, you're pretty much you know it's kind of like just a nonstop
way and I guess the first. So you just keep going about like 30 to 45 seconds. How do you feel about tonight?
I feel pissed about. I feel good. Oh you got help. Deepu is this your first is this your first roast?
You're my first roast battle. Obviously you're a veteran. I mean I didn't want. So you got help. Deepu, is this your first, is this your first roast? You're my first roast battle.
Oh, so you're a veteran.
I mean, I didn't want.
So you took it. You're wanting to know.
You don't want to talk about prepping back to the bench.
You don't have to do this thing, but he has no idea how it works at all.
I don't have to be so close to that.
First of all, he thought he had to stay for one round.
He was like, I get to leave, right?
Yeah, guys, guys.
That's what all judges do. They leave halfway through.
Hang on, hang on.
This is the stand on the Tuesday, okay?
Yeah.
Now, but I did it, I did it maybe two weeks ago,
and it was packed out.
Against Gino, right?
It was packed out, and the great thing about it is.
It was 80 people.
Ooh.
The great thing about it is, it does go fast.
It goes boom, boom, boom.
You go from roast to roast to roast.
You guys are acting like it's fucking Carnegie Hall.
It packed out means eighty people
you that's what you need for it that's all you need for the big of a
wide-ranging i love the stand Patrick
i love you
first of all Patrick no one has supported you mother fuckers more than me
and i don't play your club
i still it's true you're pretty much a reason why the club exists
i love thank you whatever grateful maybe you'll come down again. I was coming down pretty
reason frequently. What happened to me to see you off or no, you stopped calling me.
You were calling me. He doesn't have an open invite.
That's how you have it.
I was always. See what comics do in the city, Bobbi's they put a
veils in usually. Well, here's a deal. I get a fucking call. I get a text message
from the beautiful SD and I she, hey, a deal. I get a fucking call. I get a text message from the beautiful SD.
And she, hey, a veil's and I text her back.
And I, and every once a week.
And then she calls me back and tells me which ones I got.
And I say, thank you very much.
You're the best.
All right.
Nothing's ever going to stand for that.
And me and Patrick, we're kind of doing that for a minute.
Are you coming down Monday or Tuesday?
And I'd say, Tuesday, can I get on blood?
Yeah, sure. You're all set. And then I go down. Right? How did you get on? I invited you to for a minute. Are you coming down Monday or Tuesday? And I'd say Tuesday, can I get on blood? Yeah, sure.
You're all set.
And then I go down.
Right?
How did you get in?
I invited you to do a product.
Can I just come down, hit me up, and I'll get you up.
You can come down an hour before, 15 minutes before,
a week before, whatever.
I love you.
Well, here's the thing.
As I was coming down, and it really was good for me,
and I'll tell you why.
Because there's so much young blood over there.
There's so much fucking hunger and comics that,
I mean, they're the motherfuckers, they are hungry over there.
And here I come in, I can just go home
and go to my fucking place in Westchester, whatever,
I can do my spots at the cellar,
I can do three shows a night at the fucking cellar if I want,
but you go in there and it does fuck with you, man,
because this kid who just went up with that girl,
whoever the fuck it is
They're all trying they're all at this peak of
Creativity of you know what I mean? And then I'm going up and it really fucks with not just mentally
You have to kind of keep your shit together. Thank you. I appreciate that compliment. No, you've never there when I worked
I appreciate that compliment. No, you've never there when I worked, but... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jokes that like I have in my act now so it was like good to get back into writing over there But it was also psychologically being nervous again having to go up after people. I know everybody here
I don't care here. This is my home, but going on another club at another place was really good for me
So I definitely like to back so tonight. Yes, sir. I got a question for Patrick. Oh
Rost is starting now
Well, you said five jokes on the first round just now,
but I look at the email you said you said three to four.
So.
I'm not prepared.
I'm not the squeeier.
I prepared for five jokes, Patrick.
All right, I have five jokes locked up for the first round.
I say we have a fire alarm tonight.
I'm gonna hold a fire alarm deep.
47 jokes.
Do you want us to relieve here? Deep, we're gonna find an open mic alarm, D-Poo. 27 jokes.
Do you want us to relieve here, D-Poo?
We're gonna find an open mic and get you a fifth joke.
I don't want to be right now.
I'm gonna fuck up up with some slams for fucking...
I like D-Poo's prepare for this, like, the MCATs.
So, um...
Do I need a Dixon Tycon to Rogan up with two pencils?
Right by Joe Smith or...
Excuse me, Dean Patrick.
Yeah, in my notes.
He will that you actually
and the so-and-so it needs to be a
that that that
uh... pat
patrick for those who can't make it uh... tonight there's a pretty good show
tomorrow night at ten o'clock i think right at the stand called grift comedy
yet it's got to look like uh... young bobby kelly with but
ball mike phonoia actually he looks... younger bobby kelly with book ball
mike for now actually he looks like mid bobby kelly not younger
they look at the seller they say i have all bobby kelly body with young
no young bobby kelly by with all bobby kelly head
yeah
and a gap t
yeah and also
yeah no tomorrow is a group of people should buy the the lovely and talented
and young up and coming like for no i don't know
young is i don't know if it was young up and coming like for no idea young is a young I would say came and kind of
stayed and hang tepid well we got a pretty good lineup though right
middle-aged came and is still there is that better heck of a show though
right oh who's gonna quit that first I don't want to say
big J goes.
Then I'm going, because he's the only one I like.
Oh shit.
Oh, I'm kidding.
I love him both.
There it is.
I could do it.
No, I love him both.
Little shake-o, mes.
I guess.
You're balls.
You look like Bobby Kelly.
I'm the gotten-shape.
I love him both.
I'm good friends with all of them.
You know that.
But yeah, we got...
Who's on the line up?
We got a good show tomorrow night.
I always invite you to come.
Yeah, I've come.
No, you bailed, remember?
I couldn't do it that time.
Yeah, I couldn't do it that time.
But I came the next night.
That was a good show.
So tonight, Patrick, what time?
We start at 10 p.m.
We have an hour stand up.
Nick DePolo was performing and then that 11 o'clock
the battle begins. The battle begins against Deepu, video producer and Scopal, just regular
producer who calls people and books them on the show and does Skype and a bunch of other
things. Tonight the battle begins. It should be a great time. And Lewis J. Gomez is hosting,
is that right Pat? That's right. Yes, he's going to be hosting. He's coming over from one of the 17 podcasts.
This is this is the real arse dude. This is where I really get deep by myself.
What I want with an open mic is great. This is called this daily affirmations, which is
a real arse dude. This is called the real ass dog walker.
Right, take my day job and I teach people how to do it on a podcast.
Someone's getting the real spirit.
This is on social media trying to find a comic that quit.
Like I want to find a comic that quit to be interviewed on my podcast.
Yeah, and then some people write names and then he would shit on the people's names.
And I'm like, what are you just trying to shit on people who quit?
Why would he?
Why would I fucking Christ? right, so this is tonight
We'll see you there, but it's actually being the first caller on the YKWD
What a what a what an honor. This is bigger and better my friend is um is um scopo. Are you ready for tonight? Yes
Are you ready? Yeah, okay good. Um, are you ready?
Yes, I am as ready as hell every day. How ready?
This ready hey Patrick, are you ready?
All right cool
I
Was trying to mull that to fucking dumb scope up. I literally have to mouth like I'm talking to an immigrant to your old
literally have to mouth like I'm talking to an immigrant to your old hang on
and he still went
huh hang
you fucking this hang up I did that
fucking you know one of the last times I think I hung out with you Bobby was at
the stand and um we were outside shooting the shit and you were doing jokes
member and I busted your balls.
I was like, what are you doing, material?
Yeah.
And you got, I listened to this podcast a couple of weeks later,
you talked about it and you were talking about how,
what the fuck is wrong with me for this and that,
like to calling you on it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
this is, this is ready.
Go ahead, yeah, that's what happened.
I was working on new stuff and I literally said,
look, this is a new joke I have.
And he walked up middle of it, kind of called me out.
What are you doing, fucking jokes?
And I was like, yeah, but he got me.
I was thought it was funny, every laugh, every crack.
And I laughed, this fucking balled me
the rest of the night, nine more times.
Literally, I'm out front having this deep conversation
with somebody about something like come on now
No, he wasn't I would no it was what I was leaving it was three hours later. We were talking like an hour outside not you
It was it was a late. This is nine times you walks up because we're doing more material
That's exactly how it happened and I go are you gonna do this for the rest of your fucking life?
All I want to say that yeah, I did say that wait a minute. Don't fucking brush over it. I'm not I
Go I brought all fucking night. He kept coming up with it. It's like he it was funny, right?
It was funny. I was a cool and then he did it again
It was like all right and then I was like alright isn't that what we're fucking kind of supposed to do help each other with jokes
Talk talk shit, but I get it. This one bugs me about it too.
There's something happened from here to here in comedy,
like from this decade to this decade to where,
if you talk about, for some reason,
if I talk jokes or say something funny,
it's somehow not cool.
No, that's not at all, I don't think I would I thought and I think I said that to you too
I totally but here's the thing what I was gonna do is I was actually bringing it up because I'm not holding things because I don't want to piss him off
I'm pissed I think you two should share a yellow bandana right now
This is real conflict. This is like reality show
Real housewives come here'sys different filly you should
There are not your go-to real housewives conflict
Growing up at the second time he's used it. I've been Dazzy. I've been dying to talk to you about this because growing up
I grew up around that's it. Yeah, I'm a huge fan, but I'm not donating to
Um, what the fuck? Who broke?
Who?
Get your wife out of my room.
That's so nice.
That's good.
Growing up, I grew up around ballbreakers.
Yeah.
All older guys, all like my uncles and everybody were all,
now he's calling the old Bobby, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Hang on a second.
Nice lunch table.
Yeah, I like it.
Yeah.
I'm like, what's going on here?
Yeah, but I'm, fuck it.
I'm, I'm, I'm 44.
But here's my point.
I gravitate towards that.
And I find you, DePaul, a couple couple other guys that I feel like I could bus balls
Yeah
And then I sometimes do it and I don't know whether or not people know I'm
Fucking around or kidding or not. Do you know what I mean?
And it's just the way I was brought up and I just want it was fine
I I totally work out jokes. I love it. That's the fun part
But I feel like we're in kind of like a weird like kind of I look at
Tough crowd as like my beacon of time in comedy where I wish it could be like that
Where everybody's musting balls and being like hardasses and shit. Well, now it's really soft
The weird part of that night you called me up. You're like, I'm probably trying to joke to the stand. You did? What the fuck? Put that on your face! I'm telling you!
Wait, that was no shit!
I need to do no damage!
Oh!
How much equipment is on this table?
He's like, fuck, did I do that?
No!
I'm not going to get it out!
That was my way of saying I love you.
I love you too, but I mean it.
I really mean it.
I don't care about it.
I told Scopo, he says he mad at me.
No, you're a dickhead, but listen. Here's the problem. I said edible arrangements. I texted't care about it. I told Scopo, I said, is he mad at me? No, you're a dickhead, but listen.
Here's the problem.
I said, edible arrangements.
I texted you the next day.
Here's the deal.
Here's what the problem was.
You hit me with the joke, and it was funny, every laugh.
Then you hit it again.
And it got old.
And it got funny.
But then you did it honest to God.
I'm gonna tell you how many times you did it.
You did it three more times as the night went on.
And I'm out front.
That's what you did. I don't know, it was a nervous thing because once sometimes you you have a fucking leave a message for somebody
And then you call back and then you leave another one. You like well, I gotta listen
I didn't really mean to say that and then all of a sudden it's five messages and you're like all right listen
Just one more. I just want to make sure you know
Overkill but you come a little I'm sitting there talking to this like this interesting conversation
He comes out one like it it kind of started up,
all right, I get it.
And then you came out one more time.
And that's when I said to you,
is this gonna be us?
Is that what I really,
you're just gonna say this to me every fucking time
we see each other?
I had enough, I got it.
I feel it, but I feel like you tried out more than one.
I remember the jokes you tried out.
What is it?
One was about you were in Union Square and there was like say this 17 times if you believe in it
You remember like the whatever life's matter. That was matter. It was just great joke
It's my that was one. That was one
Give it like yeah, and then later on later on you did
You want you don't want to put a camera. We're gonna have to go to dick court. I believe You don't want to put a camera? We're gonna have to go to Dick Court, I believe.
You don't want to put a camera,
we're gonna go to Dick Court right now.
How was it framed?
It was like, look, I'm gonna work out Jim.
No, no, in conversation, we were talking for a long time
about actually making a movie.
He said, you should make a documentary about the way you
and your wife live separate and blah, blah, blah.
And I was telling them how to Apollo said the same thing
and I want to do it.
And then he goes, yeah, I got a,
you know, conversation happens, people group together
and then he goes, I got, put a baby camera in my,
in my kids room, but I'm nervous,
I'm gonna hear in the back like,
hey, how long's your husband gone for?
You know, you want some of this black dick or what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no gonna yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, get me those new poets.
You know what I mean?
That was my biggest fear.
I just said that and he was like,
and everybody kind of giggled a little bit
and he goes, you guys liked,
I think I should write that down.
And that's when I was like, are you trying out material?
And it was just like, you didn't,
but that was the first time I said it.
You didn't preface it with like, you know, check this out.
I'm working on this thing.
No, but it just came out.
No, no, no, no, it just came out.
But that just came out. That wasn't a big. But you like I should write this down.'m working on this game out no no no it just came out that just came out that wasn't a but you
like it's right this down I think it could be a bit okay and I was just
supposed to balls but what's wrong with that nothing what's wrong with that
there's nothing wrong what's wrong with that what's wrong with that nothing
wrong with that but that's what ball breaking but I was just about to set up for a good
joke and you stepped on it go ahead I was That's what love would be here to joke. I wanna hear to joke.
I was gonna go, what's wrong?
It doesn't matter.
But, that's what love a ball breaking is, right?
That's what I was.
No, buddy, but that was my last.
I grabbed it.
You're absolutely right, but I laughed.
We did, I did laugh.
To me there's not in funny or the most.
But did I laugh or not?
Yeah, you did and then I get it.
It went too far.
I did laugh.
I thought it was funny.
It was hilarious.
I thought you fucking caught me out.
I know the people jumped in too, right?
Yeah, but I thought it wasn't just me. I thought it was hilarious. She called me out on something and I thought it was funny. It was hilarious. I thought you fucking know the people jumped in too, right? Yeah, but I thought it wasn't just me. I thought it was hilarious.
She called me on and I thought it was funny. I did generally I was like that.
And then I heard it. I was stuck to my favorite podcast. I know this. I know the right
cast. Yeah, but I exactly what happened. I said I go this clock second got me last night.
It's hilarious, but then he fucking for the rest of the night. That's all you kept saying.
That was literally. I was drinking. There you go. There you go. There saying. That was literally okay. There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
That would be great if it ended in the fist fight.
That would be awesome.
He's like, this is how we do it in my family.
It's like the meat it seems from good fellow fuckers.
There it is right there.
It's gonna be so funny.
Here it is.
This is why for 29 years I've been fucking sober.
I've never not been me.
I never not remember something. I've always been the same guy
From the second I wake up to the second I go to bed. You understand? But alcohol, right?
I'm not saying you're an alcoholic. You probably drink fucking fine. But alcohol
Exactly you don't know from here to here. You weren't the same guy. No, I was kidding around and you get excited and you know what I mean
Yeah, but it was like it's fun to break balls with people that you love right?
I have a break balls, but different ball, but you don't come on the same one
Oh, twice
Good what twice was it twice was the same ball twice was good two was good one three is three
I went like this okay, And then Kimowitz did it.
And then the fourth, and I was like, then the fourth one was literally, it was fucking,
the place was closing.
So how did you respond?
I was like, you were responding.
I was like, I gotta get a cab, I go, oh yeah, what are you writing?
A cab joke, you faggot?
No, I didn't get that bad.
I was just thinking that it was, hang on, we'll give you all those.
That was a real, hang on, I'm gonna tie this one out. That's a really bad story into bad closing joke.
Perfect. I just wanted to say that it was all just I was happy and I love you.
Buddy, you're on the show.
You're on the show. I don't have people on the show.
I don't like. I mean, honestly, I really should.
It should mean a lot to me.
But if this was North Philly, you would have been raped.
It's dead. My mother would be dead.
But they wouldn't have had you there.
They didn't.
No, they should have squabbled right then in there.
You got it over with.
Squabbled.
We kind of did.
You stopped with her, I think they were squabbled.
What do you like to say?
I like.
I like.
First of all, I like to say work it out.
Like we're doing right now, okay?
This is, this is boring me.
This is boring me.
What do you want us to do?
I want you to come.
I'm gonna have to kiss fight.
All right, let's go out.
Now, Rose Battle, then fist fight. I, let's go out. Now, roast battle then, let's go down.
I wonder why people are fucking mistaken for Keith Robinson.
That's what I'm saying.
Fucking angry black man.
I want you to fight.
Fight it out.
Let's go on into it.
I don't want to hear too fat ball guys.
I used to be fat and I'm going to be fat again.
Next you'll say I think the stinks.
Does it stink?
No, that's good though. I'm glad you called me out on it. That's good. Well, I love you, man. Gonna be fat again next you'll say I think the stinks. Does it stink?
Now that's good though. I'm glad you called me out on it. That's good. Well, I love you man. I do too I love I love you. Sorry. I don't I'm not liking a lot, but listen here's it thing
Yeah, that was just that was just that's what exactly what it was like. I did I even told you that not not enough
I know the
What does it the booze and does it the what the booze and what it was it was?
You know when you get somebody on something like that first of all
I mean I was of course if you're if you're a comic you you we I love I love when Lenny Marcus works on a friday
Setting that to come myself because he'll watch my act and I'll watch his and we give each other tags all the time
Well, I will sit down. We do lunch with Lenny on Tuesdays.
One of the things we do, and Keith Robertson
and Conor Queen hate lunch with Lenny.
They fucking hate it.
Why?
Just because.
I love Lenny.
I love Lenny too, but they hate that me and him,
because I shouldn't be friends with Lenny,
and he shouldn't be friends with me,
just because they hate that we do lunch every Tuesday. It bugs the fun you know quaint it is or something they just
hate that we're friends it bugs Keith Robinson they want they don't want me
they're gonna try to put a stop to lunch you know how to make it worse just
say we're gonna have we're gonna have brunch
oh which one just I don't know I don't know of them. I don't want them to be tainted by that
I'm not good enough for a bomb
That was worse you should have a little
T. He has the best story ever the best story ever. What is that? It's a from a tea I don't know if I can say it
It's for a TV show that this guy contacted on Facebook and who this guy booked this TV show
I'm not gonna say which one it is and he asked him
Hey, are you available these days on the producer for so and so show and you know, we just curious or whatever and he goes
He goes well you guys pay and he goes no, we don't we don't pay and he goes all right
Do you put you up? We put us up at a hotel and fly us out and he goes no and he goes no, I don't want to do your show and he goes
And he goes oh, I wasn't asking to be on the show I was he goes, and he goes, oh, I wasn't asking you to be on the show.
I was asking if you were available to do the show.
And then Lenny writes back and goes, well, you can go fuck
yourself.
And I'm not asking you if you're available to go fuck yourself.
I want you to actually go fuck yourself.
That's one of my favorite things I've heard in my life.
Lenny is the fucking best.
And we go to lunch.
And that's one of the things we do.
We'll literally bring up premises at that.
What do you think about this?
That's great. And I think that, well, I would love to do that with someone. Yeah things we do. We'll literally bring up premises at that. What do you think about this? That's great.
And well, I would love to do that with someone.
Yeah, we do that every Tuesday.
We do it with Craig.
And then we see each other on weekends.
It's like, dude, I got this.
And I'm like, cool.
And then we look, I got this.
And we sit there all night and go back and forth.
I came up with 15 minutes of material with the fucking robots.
We just went and I still do
it's not but me and him at night just go what about this what about that and we
give each other great lines and that's what we should do I agree with you and
you should be fucking doing that when you brought it up on the show you said
like what's the deal with this generation that you can't feel like and I
I think that's my generation it's my generation that did that I don't think it's
your generation it's my generation that did that. I don't think it's your generation.
It's my generation that somehow we became too cool for school.
We became fucking, I'm a headliner.
You shouldn't fucking, you know,
it only be original funny when you're hanging out.
You should fucking help each other with jokes.
I mean, Norton has, there's nothing,
he's giving me some of the greatest lines of my act ever.
Just by watching me
But we never do that with each other. We never watch each other sets
We never fucking make notes for each other. We don't do it because somehow it's not cool. Go fuck yourself
Yeah, absolutely really
The bull is getting better. Do you rather than he believe it is bull? It is bull because we tease each other
I'll go back to where you're at. We text back and forth in San Merrill. It is bullying. Weased each other I'll go to the top point where you're like I don't want that. I'm going to say it's a samurai.
It is bully.
We bully the fuck out of each other to get better.
For some reason.
But that wasn't why.
No, I know.
That wasn't why I was like fuck, I took the hit on the first one because it was funny.
No, I got stupid, I get it.
Yeah, I got stupid.
But it helps just to talk it through though.
But you never want to know.
And even if you're not coming up with actual jesus to talk it through.
Anything, look at man.
I would love, I look for that constantly. That's weird. That's like asking a friend like, hey, you want to know. You never want to know. Even if you're not coming up with actual jesus and talking to him. Anything, look at man. I would love, I look for that constantly.
That's weird.
That's like asking a friend like,
hey, you want to eat over when you're a kid.
But the first time you invite somebody in,
it's almost kind of like, hey,
you want to write with me?
It's hard because you open up that like.
Well writing?
No, I don't think it's hard because you're waiting
to go on.
It's like, look, do you want to go through some,
how many times at the cellar were you have hours to,
like, you know, wait to go on? It's like, okay, do you want to talk through some way? How many times at the seller were you have hours to like, you know, wait to go on.
It's like, okay, do you want to talk through some of this stuff?
Let's go around, but you're right.
It's like, let's go around the corner.
Yeah.
Because if you do it there,
we've created with the table, tough crowd.
Like you say the tough crowd.
Yeah, it's great, but we've created a fan base too
that has that inside information.
What are you doing jokes?
Like, yeah, that's what I fucking love that.
You know what I mean? It's like, you know, it's so fucked up that even when like somebody
will tweet something positive about me, I will get more negative tweets from their fan base,
then positive tweets. It's almost like you have to start from scratch with your fans to get people to fucking get behind you.
These fucks forget that it's not about fuck you, fatso, fag, whatever the fuck we do.
They love it, they love it.
It's about...
It's about supporting too.
It's about his fucking movie.
Honest to God, to make the finally make a good segue back
to his movie.
That's good.
Well, it's about that.
It's about not saying, you know what?
Okay, bust and bald, but we listen to the show.
Let's go, I'm gonna give this guy a five bucks or a dollar.
I'm gonna help because I get all the shit for nothing.
You know, podcasting, tweets Facebooks, all this shit.
The only time I have to pay is if I go see him live,
and for Mike, that's not even that much money,
it's like fucking eight bucks,
or you're gonna group on,
or just wait for him to call you and give you
twenty-three tickets for a birthday,
they didn't know you had.
That's the way the world's going.
You have a love to shit on things, man.
That's all it is.
People love, that's internet culture is what it is.
It totally is.
But the thing is with us, my point is that we fucking did some weird shit where we don't,
if you have to write it all by yourself and not ask anybody for help, because that's
what this guy does, that's what the greats do.
They don't, they really don't, they help each other.
Oh yeah, when they get writers.
When they started attacking a lot of these national headliners about having co-writers
and shit like that, like other comics where attacking other, you know what he
writes shit.
Even rappers are doing that right now.
That's fucking dumb, dude.
You should be able to give each other jokes and help each other out.
You want to be original.
We're not trying to be fucking vaudeville, dude.
Can I use that joke?
I got a real premise that I need help with.
Tell me if it's funny or not.
But then again, you know what he did is funny too
when you bust and balls, that's part of our fucking culture.
I was more making fun of that.
Yeah, you were, if I would write with you in a heartbeat.
Yeah, I'm, it's never gonna happen.
But with bust and balls, it's not,
with bust and balls, tell me if you disagree with bust and balls.
It's all from the energy of where it comes from.
Like you're a good guy, you have good energy.
Like it's all on fun.
But if somebody tries to do that and they've got like a shitty,
like they're trying to step on your throat type energy,
you can feel it and then it becomes something different.
Well, yeah, it's work on that.
I always feel like it's misunderstood
when people do that though,
because I feel like when people feel like somebody's
coming at their throat and it's malicious,
it's usually not.
It's just those two aren't that familiar with each other.
Maybe, right.
And they're trying.
And they're trying.
I'm trying to relate to you.
And I just didn't, you know, you weren't used to it coming
from me.
You know what I mean?
Here's the thing.
I had to work on that too.
I mean, who had that joke?
I mean, was it me who had that joke in my act where I was like,
I, does that guy who doesn't not have to play,
doesn't have to bus balls? That's me. I had to learn how to bus balls because I used to, and that guy who doesn't not play, doesn't have to bust balls?
That's me.
I had to learn how to bust balls,
because I used to, and I still fuck it up.
I still saved, I want, you know, there's a guy,
hey, you're fat, yeah, I heard your mother sick.
That's great.
That was my joke.
Yeah, that's a great joke.
That's a great joke, yeah.
Because I don't, you know, there is a tone to it,
but the certain guys I learned not to fuck with
all the time.
We still do that, though. We take it that far, like me and my friends, it's like, it's certain guys I learned not to fuck with all the time. We still do that, we take it that far.
Like me and my friends, it's like.
It's really guys of bad, don't they?
Yeah, it's bad.
Like, you know, somebody could just go, look at that stupid shirt.
Ah, you don't have no dad, you know what I mean?
And it just goes.
No, I'm with it.
But even that, I'm with that from a place of love.
You know, if you needed them, they'd be there for you.
Right.
But Mikey, I think what you're saying is, that doesn't work if you don't know the guy exactly that
total
it's a time
peace i was just at nicks nicta polo's barbacu yesterday with key
thrones and rich boss
you know and calling quinn and uh... and nick and gary and what i think well
it but it's it's
it was vicious
from the second boss walked in we were all sitting there like,
I can't wait to eat shit to me.
Because we know he's just going to command it up.
We're nice hat.
He's like, you can't.
You know what I mean?
Let me tell you how much of a fucking animal Keith is.
When we first came to the city,
at Open Micers, not getting up anywhere,
he would just walk us into the cellar.
Yeah. And just unleashes on guys that we were fans of.
You know what I mean?
We're like, we were billbers at the table.
I'm a young fellow's in here.
Get him, go get him, guys.
It's like, it's just a billber.
I don't know who it is, get him.
Like, he really is just a fucking,
he's like Mike Vic with Pitbull.
Yeah, yeah.
We were just, maybe, you wanted to be in his good graces, so you just,
I've learned over the years though,
there's some guys that don't fuck with, man.
I don't fuck with Pete Corrielli.
I don't fuck with DC Benny.
I really don't bust balls.
Like I will, Mike, I'll bust balls with you.
Right.
But there's a line with you too,
that a Norton or Keith, I'll go full out calling, there's no limits,
but there's certain limits with other people like you,
Sean, I'll fuck with you a little bit,
I'll fuck with you a little bit, I mean,
but there's some guys, I don't even fuck with it at all,
because I know that's not their wheelhouse,
and it's gonna get fucking mean,
it's gonna get fucked up, and I like that person too much.
Right, and I think that makes the best comedy too,
as someone who knows their own social,
you can read a thing in a minute.
Yeah.
This crowd's gonna be material heavy.
Or I could fuck with this crowd, same with a person.
You know what I mean?
So, I'm kind of stuck in my back to the computer.
Like, you're so nice.
Like, I'll, it's like, yeah, man, I'm a really good guy.
I'm a beautiful life, a child, a family. I'm a really good guy. I have a beautiful life, a shyly good family.
I'm a human.
Yeah, I have.
I have some.
Like these things.
Is Mickey living a cage?
If you gently cut me, do I not bleed?
Yeah, they don't get, you know, yeah, man, I'm a fucking big pussy.
I cry at all kinds of cartoons and shit.
But that's also because we get all that shit out of us on stage.
Every night, everything that we want to say, everything that we're thinking is inappropriate.
It's coming out of us like sweat.
Like you're a civilian.
You're not a comic.
Yeah, this has been terrifying.
Oh, my God.
I'm a mom, fatty.
Listen, Jeanine Garafalo, listen.
What do you mean it's been terrifying?
No, I mean, I'm kidding, but it's like,
as just as a comedy fan and a person who's been around comics,
it's like, it's daunting.
Like, it takes like a level of like thick skin
and also being quicker and feet and else not giving a fuck.
And it's what makes it so funny, but no,
I mean, I was just like, it takes a fucking lot.
That's a fucking crazy business.
But here, it puts fucking awesome.
And there's a lot of really, really genuinely awesome people that we get to work with all
the time, and it's so fun to be at that level of ball breaking and then a serious thing,
you know?
Yeah, I guess it's a pleasure to be here with Deepo, which is fucking amazing.
I had a little bit of a joke.
I was doing it.
I was doing do it. Give me a dick, too.
Give me a dick, too.
I'm gonna get the fuck off.
I know, but I think that we should, as comics, forget about that fucking, you know, we can't
help each other out.
We should be helping each other out as much as we can, especially in the city.
Because we have to go off on our own,
out into the middle of nowhere,
and meet God forbid who the fuck knows,
hack dude who's been out there for fucking the last 20 years.
You don't know sometimes who's open to you.
People don't get that too.
Like people don't get that,
the guy, sometimes you go on the road,
and the people who are on the show with you
are so fucking atrocious. Yeah. And who are on the show with you are so fucking
atrocious.
Yeah.
And it literally sets the tone where you're like, I gotta dig myself out of this.
Every show.
Every show you gotta dig yourself out.
Every single one.
I gotta do 10 minutes to get them at a level where I can get them to laugh.
And it's fucked up.
It's fucking crazy.
So you guys don't just address it with the host at an opener?
It does. Sometimes it doesn't matter, man. It's a show. And you guys don't just address it with the host at an opener. It does sometimes it doesn't matter. And you and you
make it. They're all my. I'm up in a green room. Get you fucking shit
together. I was told I once told the host I said just don't do any time in
between the feature and me just get up there and bring me up because he ate
shit hard. To host he ends his set going Jesus you people are fucking
terrible. To the crowd. They didn't even under drink like their cars are still warm
He didn't like their rape joke so he's like Jesus you people you ready for your feature?
Well go good luck to him and I go do not do any and I said dude it's a baseball game
You're the lead off batter just get on base. You don't need to swing for the fences. I thought it was an actual baseball
In the parking lot. Like you know, but you know, my little league game. There's nobody policing these fucking guys.
I had a guy who would had this t-shirt at the end of it and it would literally
literally get the crowd going and go and all of a sudden do this joke about the
t-shirt and then spend at least five minutes
giving his sales pitch about this t-shirt. I go you he came off I go listen you realize that
and then he go into a joke another joke so you literally watching a movie stop have a commercial
and then watch the last two minutes of the movie yeah it's fucking nuts right and I just had to do
you probably why don't you just do the joke you probably want to just do the joke. Why
you just do your joke? Because that's what you get you
getting paid to do. Just do jokes all the way to the end
and then go good night. Thank you. Bring them to a climax
if you can. Say good night. Thank you and go, Hey, I got
shirts to sell to up at the front. You want to buy one
that'd be great. I guarantee you'll sell more shirts, right?
Right. I go right now. You're going to you have to end with that joke. I go, how many more shirts, right? Right. I go right now, you're
gonna, you have to end with that joke. I go, how many T-shirts do you have? He goes
over around 2000. I go, oh my god. That's ambitious. Super confident in that joke.
Did you have a family? Are they in the T-shirt business? I've written the
perfect joke. I'm gonna put it on how many T-shirts you have.
T-shirts? Never in another clothes or ever. I go exactly. I'm gonna put it on how many T-shirts you have. You should write it in another closer ever.
I go exactly, you're stuck doing the same act,
the same for three thousand shirts.
Yeah, a little weird calendar to use.
It goes two thousand shirts left in this joke.
He goes you're right, you're right, oh man, that's great.
Next night he comes out.
Same shit.
No, he comes out, goes, does joke,
and then holds, he has a different T-shirt
with a different joke.
What?
1500 of those, right?
Oh my god.
I've done it a million times.
They can't get out of it.
It's their structure.
It's their anchor.
It's their thing where it's like I'm not feeling the laughs like I feel it at the end.
You know what I mean?
And this joke is the joke that pulls it all together, man.
And you gotta learn that it's not.
They don't know.
All they know is funny.
That's it.
They don't give a fuck about a teach.
They don't know that they hold onto it, though.
It's nuts.
It's nuts.
Nobody helps them.
I was at Cap City with Okerson, and he was watching my set I was watching his and you're
both throwing up yeah thanks I was like I'll always say it once
he jabbed and he fell out with a hook yeah never mind I don't even want to
tell me no no no kidding but no, no, no, kidding.
But he watched my set and we were talking afterwards
and he goes, yeah, it's a good set.
He goes, but you're funnier than those jokes.
He's like, you're just, you're, you're, you're, you're,
you're, you're, to crutch.
Like, you're just leaning on that crutch.
He goes, anyway, go out and try my mittens.
I, my finger.
My fingerless gloves.
Watch this improv.
So the next set I went out and I did a whole different half hour
and some of it fucking tanked and some of it was great
and I was in a new place.
And he was like, that was the most enjoyable I've ever,
you know, and it was fun just because I got somebody there
that didn't like, like, push yourself a little harder.
I think it's good.
A lot of people don't have that.
I think it's good to do that, but look too thing I learned to you don't be ashamed of your jokes
You don't be ashamed what you wrote is what you wrote you should be proud of it
I'm not I'm not a fucking shame to my first hour my second hour my third hour
Those are my those are my jokes. That's where I was at and I still think some of them funny. Are they the most brilliant fuck?
No, no, I'm not gonna say that, but I'm proud of them.
I fucking, I made them and you know, you should go out
and the way you shouldn't go out and have to hold new half
out.
No, no, no, no, no.
But I know what you're saying, but I don't,
I just don't want people listening other comics.
You should go out and fucking open up
with what you know, get some, you know,
that's a good joke.
And then you should be fearless enough to try some stuff in the middle.
Which is hard to do.
And you can close with stuff that you know works, especially if you're getting paid.
Yeah, they deserve a good show.
If you're getting paid, that's your job.
The club's not sitting here to fucking make, you know, let you be.
Help you.
That's why I say fucking it's so
hard to be at our stage you know and then you get people who have millions in the bank right what
money in the bank right to not worry about where the money's coming from on the smallest level.
Sorry for stabbing you up to be as creative as possible. It frees you up to be creative as a part.
And I don't give a fuck who you are.
Go fuck yourself.
If you don't have to work for two months,
and you can stay in the city and just fuck off,
and just be creative and do jokes,
and then go out and do gigs for shits and giggles
around the country.
And still make it for your next special.
And still make five grand a show at some shitty club because you get an
ador deal and they're just glad to have you on a fucking Wednesday. Yep.
And you can fuck off. That is creative freedom, man. Right. Especially as a
comic. And but if you are paid fucking Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and
sometimes Sundays to do a job and to kick ass and they don't fuck not all the people know you and you have to
You know that's true. That's one end of it the other end of it
What you were talking about earlier is having that hunger like that you're back against the wall type hunger
Where you're like I got I don't have any choice
So I have to crank out these jokes and I have to figure it out how to have you have to have you have to keep that hunger
You have to keep doing new jokes, but you also you know you have to provide you have to keep that hunger you have to keep doing new jokes But you also you know you have to provide you have to you know have that act because if you bomb if you suck
Right you won't be back. You won't be back unless you be even if you murder
You're saying so you're saying do the t-shirt bit in the middle
I say this if you're in the middle you shouldn't have a t-shirt if you're in the middle, you shouldn't have a t-shirt.
If you're in the middle, you shouldn't have a fucking CD.
Okay, you should, I don't care.
I headline too, know you don't.
Know you don't.
Okay.
That comes in a lot of dudes when I'm back home, man.
It's funny too, I still can ask that.
And you guys still have a business card?
Like a comedy business card?
No, he made fun of me to the point where I was there.
Yeah, right, yeah, I got rid of those, like, here we go.
And it's funny what he was just for.
Was he your ass on it?
Don't laugh on that one, that was shit right there.
I'm not gonna have to get the finally get
the past these things off, man.
What the fuck, you kid?
Let him bully a lot of that.
Do you have a review flag?
You should have one.
I'm lucky you made it a serious sentence.
He made that really quick.
He switched that.
I mean, seriously.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Thank you.
That was a joke right.
I don't think you're doing material right now.
You know what headlining is, headlining is headlining.
I don't give a fuck, headlining, Wednesday is not headlining.
Sorry, just Wednesday, you're still featuring.
Yeah, fuck you.
No.
There was somebody's done that.
Yeah.
You need to have a realistic fucking view
of where you're at to get to where you're going.
If you don't, you're never gonna get there. You're gonna think you're somewhere where you're at to get to where you're going if you don't you're never gonna get there
You're gonna think you're you're gonna think you're you're somewhere where you're not
You know to to not be the headliner's a great spot to be because when you get there you fucking earned it as long as you're learning
too, you know what I mean?
That's the thing I love the most still you got you get a CD you you get all this shit that you
Earned but you didn't earn it you just gave it to yourself
Right because you had the money and the technology what that's the thing what a lot of people are doing now
Yeah, everyone can just give themselves that hour that 45 minutes because it's never an hour on that's could have been so much better in
Two more years what if you kept working it and working it working it one of the
Tractors of being in New York if you starting in New York you see all
these guys it's got to keep tunnel
vision because a lot of people have
an hour a lot of people all of all
these different projects and juggling
they like to like talk about them
and good for them and everything but
how good is your hour right how good is it
yeah now you're right you're right it
and I guess you got to cut these guys
in the middle of the come if you're
not in New York you don't have the
the push that we have
because there's so many good comics here.
And you also run out of the stage time.
And how do you know what's right or what's wrong
or how you got better.
You kind of know what you know,
and that's maybe what they know.
So people get caught up in the market again
of it because now there's no Facebook and Twitter
and all this other stuff.
It's like, oh, I'm gonna put this stuff out there.
I'm gonna keep you to mark it myself.
It's like, work on your act.
Work on your act.
I mean, all this stuff is good,
but if you promote yourself like that
and then people come see you, they're like,
I don't, you're the cream will rise to the top.
This is all right.
I'm also where you are.
I love cream.
I love cream.
I really do.
I love cream.
I love cream.
I love cream.
I love cream. Not even how hungry. I don't have any faith in this diet. I
Don't have any faith in this diet after you just said that You have cream on my diet. Oh, no sugar no grains
We explained to it you're not gonna have no dairy either
No, no you cannot dairy. You just can't have any you can't have any white sugar
White sugar You cannot dare you just can't have any you can't have any white sugar. Yeah
You can have cream is actually good for you eggs and he kind of me I gotta go on the area black people can't process dairy
I'm I'm glad I haven't I don't fuck with milk anymore. I was this is my diet around seven months ago
I was taking like four scoops of peanut butter at night
It was what like I do a teaspoon of it.
That's fucking so the good stuff.
Not every night, but everyone's
to know I want sweet.
Like my wife was having a donut the other night.
I just went fuck it.
I went and got a little thing,
a little teaspoon of peanut butter.
Natural, not the fucking skippy.
Oh, okay.
And a glass of ice water in an apple,
that's what I had.
But there was a time where I was getting the fucking
like two glasses of milk and I was like,
I'm like, oh, sweet bublorio,
you have like all milk from my kid drinks for bones.
I'm like, I'm on a diet though.
I have fucking seven scoops of Skippy and fucking
two gallons of milk in.
Well, the fucking, I'm like,
we're gonna say, I'm not the belly.
You're gonna six year olds die it.
I will listen man, this has been a fucking great show.
Thank you for having me.
Good show man.
I want to go around the room, I want to get everybody's plugs in.
We will go from this side to that side.
And then we'll end with me and let's go with you.
What do you got first, man?
What's your Instagram or your Twitter?
The both at Jim pubes, J.I.N.
Talking on the mic, Bubbles.
J.I.N.P. you.
Not that much, no kidding.
J.I.N, what is it?
P-U-B-E-S, like pubes, you know,
but the name Jim.
Okay, and the name of the movie?
Detour, detourfilm.info.
And if you wanna go support this movie
and be a part of it, I'm gonna go, I wanna t-shirt and if you want to go support this movie and uh... you know be a part of it
i'm gonna go i want a t-shirt and i might try to get that cameo
i thought it would have been ten thousand dollars i think i think we can make
a cameo having a few without the donation no i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want that i don't want You still got to work. I'm a North Philly. Jesus yeah. Yeah. That's a angry.
Stop screaming in your head.
Your father said you one time.
I'm sorry.
That was too mean.
What do you got?
What else?
You got anything else?
No.
Yes you do.
Yes you do.
I do a podcast kissing contest podcast.com.
Get the fuck out of here.
And what do you talk about on that?
Movies, television, sweet boys, pleasant fellows, and hard ass you talk about on that movies television sweep boys pleasant fellows and hard ass man
So take that
The most clever thing about it
Yeah, so that's that's that but thank you Bobby for having me on today. Thank you guys
It was a fucking pleasure being here like me just great. Me. You know, look with the plug in this stupid thing aside
It was fucking awesome just being here and listen. Yeah, the best man, thanks for coming on. You're one of my pals, man.
And we got Bender's coming October 1st.
October 1st, IFC.
He's another fucking hit out of a puzzle, unbelievable.
What do you got, Sean?
Me, I, my Twitter and my Instagram is at Shiny Time.
Hi.
Try to say something.
Why does it sound perverted to me?
Is it me? Do you go as you attract? If you don't know Sean does it sound perverted to me? It's me.
It's me.
Do you know what you're a track?
If you don't know Sean, it sounds perverted,
but it sounds adorable and lovable at all.
For that I fit with my persona?
At Shawnee Time.
Shawnee Time.
It's a lot of beers and hugs.
And I will be in what you're called.
I'll be in Sunnyvale, California at the end of the month.
I'm Bruce T. Feathers.
Bruce T. Feathers.
I think you're gonna see a jipole.
Yeah, I will be at Hill Country Fried Chicken tonight.
I don't wanna see that.
Oh, it's on 23rd and broke.
With 24th and broke?
I can't have fried chicken.
Make sure you can.
You're gonna be an adult.
I'll take you.
You're gonna make the fuck's wrong with you.
Where are we at with the chat room?
Anything in the chat room?
Not all that stuff lately.
Someone says Bobby can't even afford sod. Is there a grass in the chat room not all that stuff lately someone says Bobby can't even a can't even afford sod is there a grass bomb that when you got someone living in your bushes
no actually I want I want to say that I had the guy come back we had a big hole fight last week
with because you know scope oh was supposed to turn my sprinkler off and then turn it back on
and do me a favor he didn't do it he my fucking grass. It was my grass died for the
third time. We had a big, we had a cockcourt and I won by the way and but I want to
say to you I don't know if you care but the guy came back fixed the grass again
and my grass is finally growing it I was really worried there so happy
And he's tripping on stumps
Shut it down
Are you ever gonna put the camera on me?
I'm gonna switch to me. I'll tell you you're going back every time you switch I'm looking at my fucking
No, I only want you on me, I mean he ever gonna switch to me. I'll tell you you're going back there. Every time you switch I'm looking at my fucking phone. No.
I only want you on me when I'm like this.
Okay.
It's gotta be that weird down angle.
Yeah, that makes us all look like you.
I'm learning that.
I, I learn that too.
No, fat man.
Someone actually said when you take photos, Robert,
this is at the Comic Con.
There's so much photo stuff there.
Bend at the waist and stretch your neck.
I mean, if you use this.
The best is if you've seen every photo since then, he does it.
Everything along.
Yeah, I just, yes, then.
I don't know if that was supposed to make me feel bad, but I admitted it before you.
I actually said you.
Mikey, what are you, are you good?
I'm good, yeah, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
You look like you make a great clam chowder.
He really does.
I am chowder in stories, man.
Showing wins your special coming out.
Oh, the special comes out November 14th.
Is it an hour?
Half hour.
Congratulations, guys.
That's all.
Way to go, bud.
Thank you, guys.
It's a great class this year, too.
I mean, how many centuries is kicking ass great. Yeah, great. They really are I mean the shows broad city Amy show
Key and peel I mean the last season though. I don't all right, but it's fucking
Another great show this round of half hours was really good
Half hours really good awesome. Aren't they this year's hours were fucking great?
Not just because I was involved.
Yeah, but yeah.
I was in, and who else?
And Keith, that one?
Jay shootin' his,
Keith soon.
No, Keith.
Yeah, Jay's got one.
Yeah, he's, he's, he's gonna shoot his,
he's gonna shoot his, he's gonna shoot his,
he's gonna shoot his, he's gonna shoot his,
he's gonna shoot his, he's gonna shoot his,
yeah, that's comin' on.
Yeah, they're really, they're really kicking ass
that's great.
I'm, I'm a big fan of comedy central.
Yeah, I was excited to do this all thing.
So I'll come and back. Go for you buddy, go comedy central. I was excited to do this all things all coming back
Go for you buddy. Good for you now. Do you look like that in the special? I have a button down shirt on and a watch and a watch
I pretty much look the same
What do you got Michael just beautiful hair? Yeah, I'm showing his headlining on the road
So definitely go see him during California
Up plug for him also
I mean I he's going places.
I want to get on his pizza.
At Comic Mike V is my Twitter and Mikevecayome.com for dates.
Awesome.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming on, brother.
Do you have Instagram, Mike?
Yeah.
Yeah.
At Comic Mike V.
Yeah.
It's just beautiful pictures of Mike all over the city.
Just facing it, stuff. You're the very tasteful artistic pictures. What are you? Beautiful pictures of Mike all over the city Kissy-facing it
Artistic pictures
What do you get buddy?
I check out my podcast first world problems the son of iTunes and soundcloud
It's just me rambling about current events and my other podcast bill Cosby is not a rapist
Thank you. I was just about to get to that
I check North Philly matter
Yeah, I was just about to get to that. 36th hashtag nor Philly matter.
Yeah, half Philly matters.
No, it doesn't.
I'm out of here guys.
Take a pillow.
But deserved it.
Yeah.
I'm Dave Temple on Instagram and Twitter.
So yeah, I welcome all the heat and organ on there.
That's fun.
Yeah, and then check me out all the clubs around the city,
man.
I'm popping around.
Awesome, man. All right. Great. Thanks for coming on, man. Thanks.
What do you got, buddy? At Mike Fenoya, F-I-N-O-I-A, on Twitter and Instagram. Tomorrow night,
Griff's comedy at the stand 10 p.m. And you can check out my podcast, Jamcast, where I interview
people about their lifelong love affair with music. And this sad, I'd love to have you on. This Saturday, we don't have to talk fish.
Arrow Smith and this Saturday.
I love that you have that about you though.
You're a fish catch.
I love all music.
I love all music.
But that's great.
This Saturday you could catch me.
I'm going to be at the oddball.
I'm going to be performing on the little side stage
at the oddball comedy.
I can't wait.
That's cool.
That's very exciting about that.
Yeah, I'm excited for you.
The side stage, Bobby.
I know, but still, I mean, they're literally doing promos
of sex drugs and rock and roll at the Oddball Festival.
I don't look work in FX publicity,
what do you want from them?
No, no, that's great that they're doing it.
Maybe fucking put me on.
Oh.
Well, how odd do I have to get?
And Bobby, I just thank you for having me and I love you.
You got it, buddy. Thanks for coming on.
Let's break my nose all the time.
We'll see each other and I just keep it down though.
Okay?
Just want to see.
I'm going to learn.
Twice though.
I got it.
And then just fade out.
Walk away.
Fucking oddball festival.
I can't.
Oh my god.
Jesus.
I can't get it.
I mean, what the fuck do I got to do?
Anyways. Well, there. Glad I could get it. I'm going to end it on a high note there. Jesus I can't get I mean what the fuck do I gotta do? anyways
Well
They can follow me at Twitter oh my god
We in the first
Curtain fine no one took it. No, I'm at
My social media handle is at R2D Pooh.
Get it?
Ah!
And you can definitely check out the roast battle tonight.
Yeah.
The show I feel less and less confident about every minute.
And that should be great.
Thank you, Bobby.
D-Pool is into me.
I know you're.
I know you're.
I need advice.
I won't be a d-
You better not fucking not go for the jugular. Yeah, come out. Look at me. Look at me. I know I know you're I need advice. Yeah, I'm I'm being don't be a D you better not fucking not go for the jugular. Yeah come look at me. Look at me. You got one shot kid. I know
You know that right this is he's everything this clock sucker already won deep who I got my I got money on scopo
You know what deep. Oh, I'm gonna get you out of this. We're gonna treat it like Rocky three
You're gonna train with a black guy. Okay, good and shape Yeah, you're gonna have to go to his neighborhood though. That's scary
He's gonna go only in America
Yeah, they don't know that you'll get to chase a chicken like we're mid they eat the chicken
So I'm telling you man go for the jugular. I want you to know listen listen
Is that even telling scope oh go for the jugular? No, I say sweep the leg
You just want blood all over the state. I don't want
You want to not be friends after this thing the first of all you down
But if you're not gonna be friends there should be tension on the next podcast
Here's a thing, okay. He's going for blood. He's not fucking around.
He's going for you because he won.
He beat Joe List.
And if he doesn't beat you, his head's in the clouds.
He's not gonna go for the jugular, I don't think.
I think he's gonna go easy.
What is wrong with you?
Why do you think this way?
Scopo, are you going easy?
I have some couple fucking good ones.
I try like scopo in this.
Yeah, I got a couple ones that I like oh fuck. Oh man
I need we got to write some good ones for deep hope we got no
Because he's a dope come on man. Just ain't no pying contest
You know, I'm I'm looking at myself in the stupid side profile deep. Oh if there's anything I hate as a side profile
I have another sugar or a green green fucking weeks, and I'm still a dumpy.
They were getting some of the lights.
I really am just gonna come off.
Fucking Tata Todd.
Anyway, so I what else you got, anything else?
I know, that's it.
Hi Deepo, what do you got?
Follow me at Chris Copo on Twitter.
I got nothing really going on right now.
Rose Battle the night.
Rose Battle.
Rose Gold. No, but you need to pump pump it harder because what he just did was so soft
Well, silly son
What is your prediction for tonight fucking hate crime?
I just said what are you gonna do to him tonight?
You're gonna win. Yeah, are you gonna win? Can be a crime are you fucking winning? I'm gonna fucking who's the champ on the champ who's the champ on the champ
champ is here
I should oh fuck they said the music to come up to I should have fucking had that one
Wow, you should really what you pick. I don't like how funny he just was.
I should have, I should have.
You say things that you should say only to yourself in your head.
Like that what I just said.
I was just an example.
I was trying to get fired.
I told you, I usually open with them.
I'm going to close with them.
All right.
Bobby, September 12th will be in in Wile Missing in Pennsylvania.
Oh, go check that out.
That's the Saturday, if you listen in live,
if you're listening not live, then you missed it.
But it was a great show.
This Saturday, if you are near there,
make sure you come check me out.
He's got 2,000 T-shirts, he's got a sell
for crying out loud, all right?
I was just, I was gonna come with 1,000 T-shirts.
I'm saying there were no merch,
it's a handshake and a smile.
What else you got?
From the 24th of September through the 28th, Bobby is going to be there just for last in
Toronto, Canada.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, listen, here's the deal.
Toronto, anybody from Toronto, that area of Canada, if you're going to be around the GFL
42,
yeah, make sure you tweet it, retweet it,
get everybody out there.
I'm doing a live YKWD.
I got a couple people on there so far.
I'm trying to get two more comics to do it.
It's just the audio version.
So it's gonna be, you know, we did it at Just For Lafs,
it was a lot of fun.
Hopefully this one will be a lot of fun too.
And I'm also doing shows.
I'm doing my own hour show.
So make sure that you spread the word.
I need a lot of help up in Toronto
to get the word out about my show.
So if you're going, spread the word, bring your friends,
tell everybody, help me out.
And then what else we got?
You know October 8th 9th 10th you'll be in Fort Lauderdale at the improv
That's actually I haven't been out there in a while so I'm really looking forward to go there
I think I'm trying to get Stavros to open for me. I gotta work that out
But Stavros might come down. What's that?
Thanks
Dude you can't
You can't
I'm fucking kidding, bro
You have to pick up garbage money. Yeah, I
What is that me he has a job? You do?
Yeah, no, I got another gig I'm bringing you on and then whoever wins this gig tonight is coming on a spectacular gig
I've got a get away a gig prize
Someone's unknown calling hang on one second hang on let's you hello hello
hello
hang on. Lisa Sociation.
Sir, the reason for my call is to the modern residents in the area that the New York veteran police is
so sorry.
But you're on the radio right now. You're on the radio.
I think it's recording.
It's recording. You're on the radio. No, he's the radio the record is recording you're on the radio
no he's not
a big issue
not
on the radio right now
and
a
that's the way you're going to tell a
point
exactly never thought of that
well
excuse me could you repeat that please
as a fucking robot with a Brooklyn accent no fucking, fucking guys. It's fucking you know what I'm fucking with that guy.
All right, what else I got?
Then the 15th you're gonna be at the comedy works in Albany 15 through the 17th. Yeah, great club. Make sure you go check me out
Check out Robert K. Live.com for what my dates dates, number one, number two, my special,
live at the Village Underground,
is up there for five buckets.
That's it.
Whole, extended, unedited version.
Have it on your phone.
You can have it on your computer, your TV, it's yours.
Five bucks.
That's it.
And it's my special.
That goes to me and my kid and my family.
Also, it's on iTunes right now too doing very well
So if you want to just buy the audio version go there just buy it if you're a fan of the show
Fandemy and you don't own the special in audio or the one that's on my you're just a hunk of shit
I can't I don't know what the fuck is a deal because you just the fuck I don't know free. What are you everything for free?
And go to my shows and all that. I want to make sure
you guys check, check drugs and rock and roll. How's it doing in the ratings? Oh, fantastic. It is.
Yeah, it's done good, man. Awesome, man. Thank you for watching it. Everybody seems to love it.
Have you guys seen it? Awesome, man. You like it? I say it's funny. I have cable. Anything about
anything music related. You don't have cable. I watch watch it. It's more silly man. What about you Mike? I got a DVR'd. Did you see it? I didn't watch it
It's DVR though. What about you Shawnee? I've seen it. I like it. You love it. I dig it. Yeah, you like it. I love it
No, I like it man. It's great. Whoever wins this roast battle tonight
I'm giving a hundred dollars to
Now it's real yeah
So you want to go for the throw do you want to play nicey nice deepu?
It's up to you because this guy's going for your fucking throat
He's going to take your family out. You got an animal. You got a dog. We got a pet dog
Yeah, he's taking him out.
Okay.
What kind of dog?
Is it pet dog?
What's the dog's neck?
Stop helping him, Bobby.
Sorry.
Got a cut of his teeth.
What's he like until?
You guys, that's it, man.
You guys are the best fans in the fucking world.
I love all you dudes out there, even if you're a chick, you're a dude.
Make sure you guys support
all the shows on riotcast and subscribe to this review this spread the word
you know what Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.
Shitty jobs.
Check out riotcast.com
for all the best podcasts on the internet.
And they're all free.
And they're all free.
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