Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - On the Reg

Episode Date: July 13, 2015

Robert is joined by Ari Shaffir, Monroe Martin, Yannis Pappas, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network. RiotCast.com.

What's up, brothers? This is Rob from RiotCast. And I'm here to remind you to tune into FX Network. This Thursday, July 16th at 10pm for the premiere of Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. Sex and Drugs are Dennis Leary, John Corbett, Liz Gillies, and of course a very own dude! Bobby Kelly is Bam Bam. Watch it live, set your DVRs, tell your friends the word sex and drugs and rock and roll July 16th 10 p.m. On F-Facts. Bam, bam, fucking rules

Welcome to the funniest podcast of the planet For the Mike asshole, I'm sure I've already sent you I regret? Can I get a microphone? Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Side to the coin.

That's how it all holds the stars you love. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough where I might affect somebody's life. You never know. Oh Making me really regret going by that name. Wasn't your choice man? D to the f**king kind of was your parents name it here and Well, it's one of the family nicknames, you know, and I decided to go with that as a comedian So everyone brought up. It's just a fucking world of confusion

It's like, please welcome Dupi Dupi Dupi Dupi Dupi confusion He's got a small dick to the fucking D to the fucking D to the fucking D you Oh D to the fucking D you D to the fucking D to the fucking D to the fucking D boo huh D to the fucking D to the fucking P to the fucking P you D to the fucking That's the whole thing Two hours at the end we'll be, what are we gonna call it?

What are we gonna call it? What are we guys? Oh shit. We're just going to something else like salmon. Salmon. Salalturned it. What's up guys? We are back, of course, I'm here with D to the fucking D Pooh yo Chris the bubble butt

Skilpo got a boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob boob I got a kitches ass You've been wrapping a lot lately during the show Bobby. I know I'm just it's in my blood Speaking of rap Monroe Martin Hey everybody We got of course Monroe Martin. We got back by popular demand. What the fuck is that take this away? Back by popular demand actually long time long time long fucking time Bobby We got fucking Yanis. Good to be back. It used to be on all the time. Good to see you. Can you move to fucking Miami to be corporate?

Fuck my Yanis. Me, I mean, me. Everybody's. There it is. I'm back in New York City. You're back in the fucking heat of it. Yeah. And all right. So just to let you guys know that we're live on the hea tube video stream the wikwd youtube stream. This is chatroom. Well, we're going to that pretty, we'll go to that somewhere along the way. We got the arey shafir showing up, I believe right now with a friend of his, we don't know. Hopefully, I would assume he's cool, but you never know arey does mushrooms and drugs, so you know,

you're gonna meet him. And a man of people at the park. Well, at least somebody knows him. I remember the last time we did this. I think you had like a wild fan up here. Nobody really knew him. You remember that episode? How was that?

He was just some fan. Well, last time, he honest was here. We had Shannon here, so it's not a comic, right? Talk about that person? No, there was some, one time I did it, there was just a fan here. He was just a crazy fan and we were joking about like what if he was like a killer or something like that

You just let him on the show. I want to know why we let the fans on yeah, you've done a lot of shows You don't remember that yeah, we've done a lot of fucking shows So yeah, we got where is easy walking? He's what? To have a fin here. That's hilarious. He's such a fucking douche You know what you fucking what are here? That's hilarious. He's such a fucking douche. Say, you know, you fucking, what are you? What's wrong with you? Fucking people are gonna be here. Where's your friend?

You wanna be in the corner? I'm gonna send him some chef took us out the dinner. What chef? What weird life you live? Living a good life. Yeah, man. You should fucking just be either down on these, village.

Fucking dick for crack. Or doing comedy. He's like, you crack anymore, man. That's fucking old, dude. People that's up right now. I'll bring it back. I'll bring it back. People that are big for weed.

Yeah, now. Nobody sucks dick for weed. Molly, I would say Molly. Molly, they suck dick for Molly. Fuck dick for Molly and Bill. Fucking scream over each other. We get it, Molly. Molly.

What, they have Molly and then there's another one, too. What's the other one? Crystal Maff. No, that's not it. That's not it one? Crystal Maff? No, I'm too. That's not that, isn't it? He had a mean. Very Chris Rock. No, there's another one off. Such was an F.

Flocka, Flocka. That's primarily Florida, that's Flocka. What's Flocka? That's the new, that's the new drug, yeah. It just makes them wig out. It just makes people who are on it. Oh yeah. What is it?

Are you gonna put your phone away and phone? It's all on site. You call me in before I don't the text. Hang on, I got the phone. Yeah, I got the phone. Flip phone. You call me in before I don't get the text. I got a flip phone. Yeah, flip phone. Flip phone's citing in the wild. He is. He really is.

Irish affair is one of the most unique human beings I've ever met in my life. He's trying to be up to grid. He's off the grid, he's on the grid. I'm still online. I don't know what the fuck he's got. He's got a flip phone. He's got a flip phone.

I gave him this after my shoulder and I stand. I got off and he struck my hand and I was like whoa Bonus shake Wow, oh, it's fucking open's a cop and setting you up. There's a listening device in there And no, I'm so we could light up in here. So it's totally no, we did not I talked to him earlier in the day I'm gonna call him right now You know I don't smoke pot. I'm not getting fucking high second him. You can't wait It's allowable by the a rules. That's not true I read it's not true. I've had the steps and the big book. There's no steps

There's no high in the steps buddy. There's 12 steps. That's what not one of them is you can't also be second-hand high I don't like when you get dark-trainy voice As well settle down I don't like when you get dark trinity voice. Not what if I get a... He should fuck it as well. Settle down, no more. Oh, he's noble. Not what of them can be. Jesus, like already laying as a transvestite. Not what of them can be.

You can have pot. Then you start putting your hands on your hips. You're scared. I'm fine, I'm part of hip. All right, so listen, man. I'm gonna talk to, uh, no, I'm about that, but I think you're lying. I'm telling you, you can call my knob. What looks light up in the meantime though, because it's so guaranteed that it's the truth.

This fan just doesn't smoke here. I don't. What? I don't smoke, man. You know that. No, I have sinew smoke. You've never seen me smoke. He does not smoke. That's terrible.

Oh, stay out there. Who are we? The other black guy We can fuse with there You hang it all the time You have very similar skin color You're both tall He has curly hair I respect either one of your comedy

And I'm a racist I think I'll black here Oh yeah, I know that's who it is You know, it's the only one of us gave you a lot I mean, they could not look different My role is in the dark Hang on Yes, they could

No, they can't One of the Bobby's Go Bobby into that there not look different. Monroe. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Where's the fucking with the glasses now? I Jesus Christ in the bomb rag all of a sudden I've never seen something like that so bad You know I also like brought you up once is that and it bombed there too. I know, but it's fucking funny No, well over two just as he now look like a football player from night. Hey do you think it integrated Alabama? Don't tell explain it Yeah, can you tell that around your neck like an ass shot? like an mascot. That's our time. Anyways, well, welcome. I introduce you kind of, but Ari Schaffer is here. Thank you.

One of my favorite people on the planet Earth for some reason. I don't know why. Maybe you should not like each other, don't you think? That's a good theory. I don't think you're wrong. Where'd you get wrong? But I can't. From the second I met you, I fucking liked you. Yeah. I don't know what it was.

Fair ones. Like, you're asshole. Yeah. I was farting a lot. He was like, whoo, whoo. Did you guys bond in Denmark? Is that where you're at? No, we bonded way before.

I mean, in L.A. I mean, I knew you at the tail end of Bobby Kelly. I don't know what that means. Please explain. Well, you're Robert Kelly now. You of Bobby Kelly. I don't know what that means. Please explain. Well, you're Robert Kelly now. You made a decision. You and Billy Burr made decisions to grow up. Oh, what the fuck is going on, dude?

What happened? You're on your phone? Lenny Marcus is a... I don't know. You do? That'll be fucking... Jesus Christ. We would talk with you.

You think I'd fucking casually announce it on a podcast? Lenny's dead. Would question is would we continue? No, I need a shofer next week. You just talk about his death. Yeah, we'd assume what it was. Whatever it was, I'd fucking edit it. If Lenny Mark has died, what would he have died of? Lenny? No, complaining. Ready? No. Complaining. Excited. Panic attack. They raised his rent. Yeah. Bestie gave him a better spot.

Fuck you, Marcus. Anyways. Where's Lewis? Where's Joe? We don't do regular kicks. No, nobody's been kicked out. We just, we just mix it up a lot more. Oh, okay. We had, Dan was on earlier. Sorry.

Yeah, I believe. Louis is probably busy with one of his 18 podcasts, right? Yeah, he actually is busy right now. He's talking every time I go to his Facebook page. Yeah, he's doing back-of-boots podcast. Real-ass, pencil podcast. Yeah, he actually is right now fucking every time I go to his Facebook page. Yeah, he's doing back a boots podcast Real-ass pencil podcast He's doing a kick him in the shins podcast

podcast to the throat with Louis Gomez Big and Paws with LG JJ The lights out of you know said dimming everyming everyone's while it's a pre-war building I have no idea what the fuck's going on. What is he don't know? That's weird. We have no idea. We have no idea We have no idea dude. Fair enough. Well, you can't go in hour with this. No, I'm gonna wait because I'm gonna smoke pot with a girl later And my tolerance is too high so I like to smoke not all day so I can get high with them You know instead of like Your heart. I'm not.

I don't know. So you want to make sure that when you go get high with her, you're just fucking stone. I'm as high as she is, or close at least. How, I'm in this question. Do you smoke weed, honestly? No. Okay, you smoke, you don't smoke weed, I know that.

You don't smoke weed. I do like, yeah, I don't smoke weed. You do? Well, not a lot though, not like fucking, he does. You could attack it, better. Yeah, you, you smoke weed. You smoke weed, you smoke a lot though, not like fucking he does. You could attack it. No, yeah, you just, you smoke weed. You smoke a lot of weed. On the reg.

On the, I refuse, I'm not a free suspect. I'm not a free suspect that too. On the reg? The fuck do you walk around with like, the real cyborg too? The fucking break dancing asshole. On the reg. On the reg.

The, the, the, the, the, the, the, no, no, no, no, no, no. How much does it, how much pots does it take for you to get fucking basted? New York pot or LA pot? It's a difference. Yeah. What's the difference? The difference between Atlantic City and Las Vegas.

Which is better. Well, one has, they're both like half casinos. But which one's the difference? Which one's better? Which one's worse? I don't know. I know there's a difference. LA is among the best weed cities in the world. In world. Yeah top 10 because of where they grow it there

Yeah, San Francisco might be the best. Okay, was this was a second best LA Denver no Denver and Seattle probably just pass LA as annoying as it is Denmark is up there really am Sam's below L.A No shit for sure below L.A. Are you sure? Where's New York? I'm positive. I smoked it like seven different places Are you sure it's not just because of the city you're in like being high in San Francisco? It's a lot chiller than being high in the grocery store No, it's cheaper in San Francisco and I try the most I go to every dispenser I'm like give me something that's gonna obliterate me and if it does I'll come back

Let me ask you another question here. New York, where is New York? Where is New York? Yeah, on the list. I really didn't know what you're talking about. New York is not even. New York is just like not bad. Really?

It's a punkish on the reg. On the reg. I'm always punkish. For realsieves. New York sucks. They don't ship it in. You can, that's what some people do. But, yeah, you can.

But that's the only way to get, or somebody has one good strain in the next time you talk to them. It's like, what is this garbage? You see, strain, like, what the fuck is strain? Bobby, why did you, why did you sober up? At 15? Dude, I smoked weed when you smoked the plant. Like I went into my foster parents' closet

and there was just a branch hanging upside down with buds on it and I just fucking, I smoked that. On the reg. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, if you don't write down on the reg, I'll fucking, I would never talk to you again. It was here. I got it.

I'm gonna do a full shed, it was here. I literally go what should we name it, but he'd be like, uh, I was talking to you. I was here. I was here. I was here. I literally go, what should we name? But he'd be like, uh, uh, uh, piquipsy. I wouldn't match potatoes. What? I would have said salmon.

Uh, not for me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, it's not that badly. Yeah, back in the 80s. It was just yeah, it wasn't tie stick. You get the tie stick. Yeah, Diaz always talks about that. Skunk weed. They had skunk, which was shitty. Yeah, sounds pretty good. Skunk weed was putting you to sleep. It's not shitty if it's good. Yeah, when I was a kid, it was just like they called it Myrtle dirty. Got a Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn. It was just seeds and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you nodding? You're not old enough to know about that shit to know about regs No, I know about shitty weed. You know about the I guess I used to smoke on a wreck when I was in high school I'm gonna row what are you doing there, buddy?

Smoke and Reggie. Lanny Marcus needs somebody to do a movie and by somebody I mean a big black guy That guy didn't work out for him. What happened? They fucking canceled. They need some of a footh me for a cuckold scene? It did be perfect. Yeah. Man, you really would be perfect with my number. Dude, you would be perfect for cuckold scenes. It's a piece of shit. You know what?

Having some like scrawny white guys. Oh, come on, man. Oh, fuck off. I'm gonna take it. Oh, I like her. I can't, you're not gonna do it. He got a car, he said, he's a car he got my number the guy bailed out And what is the easy guy, huh? What do I have to do? I should pay yeah, what's the big guys?

I'm a Marcus zero I have to go Bagels there's nothing better than you on you cry Let me guess letny Marcus, zero. I'll meet you at B&A. I'm like Harvey Feurstein. Yeah, well, that's one thing, like I, you smoke weed.

He comes out, we're in Bonero, after the second show, he comes out. He literally just flops out a bag of vacuum sealed mushrooms and look like he went to the supermarket like he was making a fucking like some type of Italian mushroom dish Dude, I've never seen a bag of mushrooms that big of my life. I was just like I made me hungry I was like fucking time some Let's make a catchatory when I was for sure, at least like 400 calories in there. It was fucking crazy.

How did you get him down there? I have a responsibility as a mushroom head to the other comedians to be like maybe he's too mushroomed down there. I know they're going to be looking at me. I want to try. My friends did it on Fourth of July. Please don't do this. Listen to me, dude.

I'll find you. I don't want to. You definitely should. You definitely should. It's not in the black cover yet. You get it very much. Here's what you do when you let a kid this big yeah, try a fucking hallucinogenic Yeah, you you chain him like a werewolf. Yeah, a full moon Especially with his childhood Let me have fucking sit in that the standing just starts smashing faces

Fucking moushies Patrick's fucking head of the wall Watching down like fucking Manupal go to the bathroom. Why am I not on this wall? Did you do it? I've never done mushrooms. No, I never did I never did I did volumes I did perks. I did coke I did different different. I did volumes I did perks I did coke different different different. I did T. I don't know if you know what T was It's like a yellow T-ball no, no, it was like a really when you took it you felt like you were just shit faced Oh real fucked up drug mask. I did mask

That's Glenn. That's Glenn's close. Yeah, that's one's close. Yeah, I'm asking any of them good I'm good to be any of them compared to the only we the only one that I ever fucking actually liked was weed weed was just this. I mean, we just sit there get high. I remember I would smoke so much fucking weed. He's a cover man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm recovering. That doesn't even fact. He would never break me with a fucking. If I thought you on the line, a little penner like that would not break me First of all, you're not insulting me, I didn't roll it Second of all, this is not a penner, this is a normal size joint

To me man, hey man Hey man, when I used to roll joints, I wrote fucking lovers And he's the role of every body of Bonero Every the ret, I'm the ret Every body of Bonero is on mushrooms People like, can I have some like, yeah, that's why I got so much. Natasha, Thune, Bronola, even the fucking nerds. Maybe, is that, were they on them during the day?

Maybe. Bronola as soon as like, yeah, mushroom, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, I just eat some right away. I'm like, you're not gonna wait for the right moment and say, why? I love like nerdy looking people, because they'll get down. I feel like, damn. Did anyone do sets on mushrooms? Oh, I don't know. Did you? I have, I have, sure. But, uh, no, not that day.

Cool. That might have brought it down, sorry about that. It's just, you brought it down with your fucking last. Scopus, like, people are doing sets and a festival? What's that like? Dude, do you have a dude drugs into a set Scopled do rails things more than an amtrak driver If you had to go if you're the pick yeah donuts or weed

Which ones but what donuts donut then? That's the one to go. Don't a pub. That's what a pop that's what it's a got them. Yeah, no fuck that Factory suck that dick that's the shit fucking drunk white girl donuts Banking this bank and fuck off You know the donut pub you got mad like a donut kind of sore fucking 60 years. It's been there making the same fucking donuts I tell you we begotham he says about a fashion I'm gonna tell

I fucking after gotham me Lewis Scopo and Bernstein Bernstein I took him over there and I showed him my ways the kid with the old faith they got the little tiny You know are you sit at with the circle chairs you get a I go you go, you give me a milk, I give the guy a 20, I go, everything hot comes out, you show us first. Yeah, as they're coming out of the oven, he brings it to us, we all just pick one. Everything hot. Bring it here.

And he brings it and you eat it hot with milk, he kept bringing them, I've felt like 60 dolls. Yeah, that's amazing. How could they feel? Oh, dude, donuts, let me taste something. A cake donut, an old-fashioned cake, Yeah, don't have to. That's amazing. How could it feel? Donuts, let me taste something. A cake donut, an old-fashioned cake donut dipped in chocolates out of a fucking oven, out of a fri-later with the hot chocolate, into your hand, and then in your mouth with the

thing of milk, a fucking cold thing, a whole milk, a fuck blow jobs, fuck weed, fucking anal sex. Fuck, fuck. I'm never an anal, but over to the feels good when they put it in Just like feels like home. There's some fact I listen to you like anal you like anal yeah, I mean get Anos overrated man Give it you're not getting yeah, yeah, you like getting it. I'm not turned on by some dudes but no you do you said getting anal like they're sticking it in your butt Right, right you wanted it in your ass joke. Oh yeah

Well, we don't know you fucking your rebel If anybody I knew it make getting fucked in the ass not gay and be cool It's less gay than fucking another boy that you have to you need a boner to fuck some dude in the butt But to get fuck in the boy. You need a boner to fuck some dude in the butt. But to get fucks in the butt, you just need a butt. Ha ha ha. Wait a minute, wait a minute. So you're saying, if you fucked me in the ass, as long as my dick didn't get hard,

I'm not gay. You're an okay, I am gay. Right, because you're a hard as shit. Right, right, okay. But what? I mean, let's always trick somehow, if you were behind some sort of curtain, and you're like, this is the girl's butt. And you were like, wow of curtain and I had you like this the girls butt.

And you were like wow, why is this pussy so wet and big? Yeah. It smells like donuts. Deepo. Oh thank you buddy. Thank you very much Bobby. Deepo. That's fucking weird.

Have you ever been fucked in the butt? No. By anything? No. You never know. It's good to be back huh? Everyone has girls take a friend. That's fucking weird. Do you have you ever been fucked in the butt? No? by anything Take it to be back huh? Everyone has to take a friend lighter girl lick my butt. Topics don't change That's felt bad for I was so felt bad. I so felt bad for that couldn't get turned on

I was like what do you you don't want to do that? My butt's disgusting. Yeah, I don't like it I don't like a finger in my body, you know, I like it You know, it's just homophobia. I like it It's a male spot. It's it's supposed to make you feel good and the only reason we won't try it is be why else why else I'm just self-conscious about dirty my ass. Yeah, dude my ass run. I walk right out of the shower We're right in the shower dump wipe right in the shower. Then right out Yeah, you know what people always say? People always go like, hey, I like it when I'm getting my dick sucked

or like a finger in my ass. It's like, yeah, that's cause you're getting your dick sucked. I would like if someone punched me in the head while I was getting my dick sucked. You're distracted. Yeah, the primary thing is I'm getting my dick sucked. That's so, that's so untrue. It is not untrue.

First of all, first of all, you're Greek, you should know better. Okay, you invented it. Y'all invented it. Yeah, you're You got you fucking you you kernels fucking stung shit your ass from the get go you you're the original mom Yo, yo, yo Greeks back then did it on the rat Get that mustache over in my ass. Oh, my fuck up Get that five o'clock shadow in my nut sack. Eat that ass.

No, the, uh, uh, I think that you, I know that your, your, your male G spot is in your ass hole. Yeah, there's no, there's no way you don't, you don't like it. You like, I mean, I don't like it. How you gonna tell me? Let me try. Have you ever tried it? Yeah.

Yeah. It's all right now. I had, like like girls have put their fingers in their wallet. Like I said, while I was getting my dick stuck, I didn't mind it because I was getting my dick stuck. If they just put their finger in my ass while I was eating a sandwich, I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? Get your head in your way, how the hell do you want to go? How come when you talk to him in the row,

you talk a little blacker than when you talk to art? I'm a question, I'd like to know the answer to that. You talk to him, are you like, but I don't know. I don't like my- What are you talking about, are you? When I'm getting my dick up. So are you did you used to smoke we don't the regular I don't know my rubble what I'm saying though. Yeah, I mean who are the biggest comics to put on a fake black accent Who are the leaders? Yannis Papas. Yeah, honest you do it. I don't know. Do I? Yeah, honest you do it. I don't know do I sometimes

I think is this high speaks that's how I think Versi is more Italian. Is that what it is? I think Versi's quick Italian He is sometimes that can be steak and he he does it's a little street so it's a yo-yo Okay, which is what ironic why Italians hey black so much because they are a very similar a lot garbage people Yeah, but Lives Matter I don't want to tell you have to me Carpage people Jesus Christ Italians may be the worst of the whites that is fucking that's

Okay, if you were counting on what about the Jews? No, no, what are you talking about? You know, yeah, a society that's ridiculous. I won't even comment on it. Fucking wigs and weird hats. The only way Italians are not the worst of the whites is to do count Armenians and Persians. That's not true. You gotta go down to the middle of the country,

the south and get those sunken eye socket people. No, even the help people, they come from a people, they come from regular whites So there's something that that is given to society What's all for nothing except sopranos and fake mafia culture? How do you fucking you want me to come back? You want to come back there? You earn nobody shut your fucking mouth. I'm first one. Yeah. Are you talking to me? Who's talking to me Get the fuck out of respect to people you've never met first? Are you talking to me? Get the fuck out of us.

Respect to people you've never met. First of all, you never have fucking marble bathrooms. You never have around the pool. It'd just be grass if it wasn't for Italian people. What about the fuck? What about the cuisine? The cuisine. Italian food is not in America that all came from the old place.

I'm talking about American Italians, they offered nothing. Pizza, they made. They made that Italy. What about the mafia? If it wasn't for American Italians, they offered nothing. Pizza, they made. They made that Italy. What about the Mafia? If it wasn't for American Italians, we would have the greatest movies of all time. Good fellows. Yeah.

And they all fucking mimic them. They all want to be 20s and pound, nobody ever wants to be Chef Boyard D. I don't know. I actually look like a man. You give me a hand. I think that's a fucking horseshit thing to say they They made another white set of works. They're construction workers. Irish are saying Irish are the worst ones? No, not my Irish too Oh, what are you saying in the worst? I'm saying that the the the white trash

I that comes from clear white. How about the Greek? But what are you saying? You're saying people from This Italian trash Italian good. I'm saying what what they've contributed what you can Or hope if you see a regular white person like okay, what if one of those woods people fucking contributed? What have they the people that live in the house they invented whittling what else? No, it's not the woods They're not their own their own race besides a fucking horsey a horsey and a cross the woods people are all from somewhere There's some type of white They're all kind like I don't know German and they're fucking clear clear white. They're like German in America

Yeah, are you gonna Irish there Irish Italian? Oh mixed in Italian? What else? Irish Italian what else they went everywhere? I don't tell you and come on Jews Blacks Puerto Ricans those aren't whites. No, but we're gonna add people. Germans. Germans. Any sort of like Russian, Russian, Russian whites. Okay, Dutch, Dutch, Dutch. Yeah, sure. Swedish, Finnish, Finnish, Finnish, Finnish.

Dutch people are fucking a Wall Street. Okay, what else? What else? French, Canadian. French, sure. French, Canadian. Yeah, French, there's all people better than Italians. Middle Eastern. Middle Eastern people, Middle Eastern people. Middle Eastern Middle Eastern people so Middle Eastern but the Middle Eastern people are more

Arab American Mexican Mexican Americans not white Mexican Americans are you No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, America there is state for Christ takes almost you know you're kind of Native Americans is the white set that's the juggles I love that they came but they're not white's they're not white's came from there not to know but we'll count on you know you're not counting blocks you just said that you didn't give me a chance to like dispute that one Jesus Christ worse of the whites all right so the worst white yeah not worse race just worse of the white race all right so the worst of the white races the Italians yes because they all act that garbage Who hurt your hot garbage? Do you have like 10 million dollars in the bank?

I mean you ask like you get fuck you Your haircut that changes if fucking tax driver your outfit and your fucking your your drug consumption you have fuck you money you literally have Accentric fucking lunatic money. I have a low-cost living that gives you the same fuck you money What do you live in a box on the fuck a bridge? I live on like 40 grand a year. That's all I need Everything above that sorry, but but everything What are you talking about my father's got a very profitable But everything about that What are you talking about my father's got a very profitable profitable custodial business

With the Italian Americans who are Italian American you know he's Italian right full-blooded Yeah, no you come from garbage people who contribute the worst Family business is garbage. Yeah It doesn't man you will not if that's it show me one key. I'm obviously all right Christopher Columbus garbage rocky bauboa Man you're not gonna do Rocky bauboa all right. How about this ready Tony Danza garbage Tony Danza who's the boss? And that's what dice

The fuck girls like you go who's the boss Dice is the real fucking girls like you go who's the boss Who's the boss he just kept doing that you were and who's the boss like you want it's wrong. It's Tony Danza How about he's when he was like in his big boning years? Just a scolier. How did you know that? What how do you know that? He hangs out the store. No shit. Yeah, Dice is, that's one of the coolest like get to nose of comedy. I met him one time. Really?

And we were in Vegas for the fights, me, Norton, Anthony Coolemeer. Rogan was there. And was it Rogan like had this, you know, we all went to dinner and then he was like, we're all going to see Dice at the River Era. Oh yeah, I told him about that. I was, my voice was going and I had, I literally,

I had a fucking pilot that I just booked. And I was so, huh? I saw the billboards for the bus billboards for it. Oh yeah, yeah, so that. Awesome. So this was another pilot a couple of few years ago that never went anywhere. And I was afraid I was losing my voice

and I was like, I gotta go, I'm not gonna go. And Rogan just fucking alpha met. He's like just let's go. You're going And I was just like cuz I'm so fucking Rogan is like my fucking you know my my Superman When he commands you like like okay, I guess I just watch the thing that he did on the internet where he goes be your hero Think of a movie think of the way you want the movie at be the hero of your own movie and I watch the whole thing and at the end of it I almost had a tear in my eye I just wanted to go make my movie I was going to divorce my wife and you will be the hero of my movie go fuck chicks in a studio in these villages with Ari do fucking mushroom man get a mouthful the invitation is open yeah. I'm doing fucking mushroom man. Get him a bowl of hot. The invitation is open.

Uh huh. Yeah, he, uh, so we went and we saw dice. Eh, am I so glad I went? And I never seen anything. He killed, he kicked somebody out. Three minutes into the show. He goes, get the fuck outta here. Just kicks a guy out.

It's amazing. He finds these old like, uh, Asian tourists and like, oh, let's go see the dice show. And they're like, oh, they always, he goes, he always leave. Like, they paid $150 for a ticket. I'm not knowing what they were gonna get from the Dice Man.

Yeah. It's not like it's become like Polka Rock, you know? It's like, he's still doing what he does. Yeah, he has his kids band open up from. Fucking cool band, rock band. His kids on drum, guitar, and then, right? I know it's good, but it's a both-out bar mitzvahs. No shit.

Yeah, the creepiest shit in the world. What do you mean? Maybe ever was it, I think Dylan's Marmotzvah, and Norton was there, and he had an open Jewish prayer book in front of him and he was just kind of like moving like the Jews do. And I'm like, I don't know what the pray thoughts are in his head, but it is not what is in that book.

Yeah, it was cool, man. It was fun. I'm banned from his house. Why? Sorry. Instead, I got creepy. What'd you get? He said he had a gun in his drawer, and I was like,

no, you don't. He goes, I'll bet you 20 bucks. I'll bet you 100 bucks. I don't have 100 bucks. He goes, then you can't look. I'm like, I know you don't have a gun around with your children. And then I was going over in that room, and he was like, your creepy,epy, Ari, you're Creepy.

Did you ask him why he tries to act like garbage people? Why he tries to act like Italians? No, I have not asked him that. No, not a time's garbage people. Yeah. He sure does not act like a Jew, huh? Is the chat room open? Yeah, we got a couple of things.

All right, good. I want to do it. Okay. Buddy, see, buddy says no longer depressed, Ari, Shafir things. All right, good. Let me hear it. Okay, buddy, see, buddy says, no longer depressed, R.E. Shafir, don't give a fuck. Yeah, I haven't given a fuck for a while. Yeah, no shit.

You were depressed? A while ago, yeah. For what? That's not what depression is, you guys. Okay, there's a misconception, because it has the same, like, looks the same as like when you just feel bad about something. Depression is like a brainspirion.

Can you stop talking to us like we're college students? I don't know, just fucking stop for what? Hey, we don't really care if you kill yourself. Okay, we're just trying to fucking forward the conversation, you fucking big nose cock sucker. I don't know. I'm gonna finger in my butt. All right, just fucking, cry sorry.

Is my nose that big? Let's go up on the room, you're gonna call me. Yeah, I got the big fucking Juno's Yeah, the bridge you know this big side of you I know this unit side goes way longer You got a little bird. Oh, you got a big nose. No, I got a garbage nose You got big nostrils What was the to why what was the depression? What was going on that you were depressed?

It's not like that. What the fuck was it? You have to rush it. It's like, why do you go to menopause? How do you spray in your ankles? What were you thinking? What was happening? Everything was worse.

When you have depression, everything's just worse. What? It could be a nice day. It's like, oh, it's a nice day. It's awesome. It's just going, what's nice to? And then it's over. The eyes are lower.

The lows are way lower. How'd you get out of it? Pills and mushrooms. What kind of pills? Disciper mean? What the fuck is that? It's an 80s drug. The side effect is low blood pressure.

So when I stood up, I'd almost pass out a lot at the hold on to something. Minor side effect. Minor. Yeah, that was compared to the other side effects. There was one I took. You couldn't come. You just couldn't come.

I didn't know about it. No. Did you soak your heart? You could get hard, but it wouldn't like you could fuck forever. You could just fuck till you're supposed to come and then you start to lose it. Oh God. Yeah, that's a miserable. Another one gave me hyperphasia.

What's that? That is the inability to feel full. Oh boy. Oh, you would love that. You've always had that in 30 years. I have it. I'm gonna love it. You just fucking diagnosed me.

You fucking cock-a-sucker. You can just eat have it. I'm gonna love it. You just fucking diagnosed me, you fucking fucking talker. You're gonna eat and eat and eat. I did limit my time. I'd like to do the seven plates of spaghetti. That's enough now, right? We're getting fat. Yeah, you're supposed to gain 30% of your body weight. Wow.

I'd love to see you, fat. I used to be fast, be 250. No shit. Yeah. How tall is that? Six or three? All right. All right, what else should you do?

And then a few other ones that just you found the one that works and it got you out. Boom, I was out. Really? You got the right dosage. I was like, oh, I feel right. I feel like you've never seen you've never seen depressed to me. Every time I've seen you've always seen pretty cool and mellow and level headed. It was in LA when you were around.

I had a three year period where I would like, I would cut myself on the arm. I would like, I would run a knife by my, just gently by my veins, just to see what it felt like. If I was by, you know, a garbage truck that has a big fucking fuel tank on it. Yeah. I would just sit and close my eyes and imagine

if I was in a car like, let it blow up. Let it blow up and just take me. Right. I wouldn't wear my seatbelt. Now you know how your crowds feel. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you, Bobby. Why not know how your crowds feel. Fuck you Bobby. Why not?

I came in the show as a guest. Hey, but was it LA you think was fucking you up or your career or the business or people? It's okay. It's not that. It's just like a sprain in your brain. It just happens. And then it's not about. It's not like you break up the girlfriend.

You feel depressed for a little while. It looks like that, but it's not like that. It's nothing stop. It's a about, it's not like, you break up with a girlfriend, you feel depressed for a little while. Yeah. It looks like that, but it's not like that. It's nothing stop. Clinical depression. Yeah. Is that what it is? Sometimes some things can like, yeah, clinical depression,

it can knock you into that. Like your father dying, it's like, can knock you into that and you can't get out. Even you would have been over it, but you're still in it for years. Well, because I get depressed, I've been depressed, I know when I'm in depression,

but I know when I'm getting out of it too I usually wind up cleaning up my office or cleaning up my car exercise And you know, he doesn't do that I should have just done one interview show One comic, one on one, so I'm really happy to have an album You know, just I fucking cuck suckers. I'm gonna bring the most alpha male funniest cuck suckers in the room and just take pounding.

Did anyone ever show you for not having enough women in here? Well, we had a woman on today and we try to get a woman on, we try to get a woman on every show pretty much. I was just thinking like if a blogger listen to this, like they, they was not. They wouldn't even have anything to pick out Like you know how like they would find a comic to get they find one line that they if they listen to this they'd be like it They just throw in the towel

I can't even find one thing to pick out the whole thing is a fence change the whole fucking show when I have a woman on it It just but they they always do great on the show. I've had women we had a woman on today. We had a KC Bullsham bullshit on KC. What KC Anthony? Who's KC? I mean, no offense to KC I don't know she's still She's alright. She's not that hot, but she's a fucking I I don't like that. She still has that Jeff fucking twat

Kill their kid. You're not a fan of kids. She killed that's where Bobby draws the line No, I just I it it to let a fucking crazy person like that go because they have never never know they had fucking evidence because it's Florida dude they fucking had a round

Florida is just fucked up that baby was walking coming out of it was older boob the kid was found down the street from her house in a gully. Okay, she was at a party. The kid was duct tape. She couldn't find a baby in there.

She was known to be duct tape or kids mouth and leave it in the fucking car. She did it. The kid fucking died. She threw the body in the stream and denied, denied denied denied denied I went to a party and tweeted yellow yellow what the parents crazy man that little fucking girl you have to see her face her mom duck killed her yeah now she did that with a gun that everybody calling for Dunker drill

but the fact that she's just a bit more no one lot of thoughts. I don't like duck game anymore, dude. I fucking died, Scott. I was stuck in the tree. There's a lot of scotch. You can get out of this. What'd you say? It's like you can get out of this. Watch your whisper.

I don't know. I want to make a creepy. You can tie up a girl and then just let her get out herself afterwards. No. I tied up a girl on the left. Came back two hours later. She was so fucking mad.

Really? Yeah, I tied her legs and her arms up And I was full and then I just she pissed me off. She was very she was very dominant She's to scratch me and do all kinds of fucking shit that would make me mad And she's going sex so then you decided to make her scared for her life No, no, do you want to admit this right now? Yeah, but we know we had I like the girls I want to make her feel like she was gonna die No, no, no, we in sex we would do this crazy shit in sex. We were just really dirty sexual now What'd you do in between the two hours she I went to the store and I got some don't actually I

Think it don't know it's I she wanted brownies. I didn't get donuts. I wanted brownies. So I went to the store. I got a brownies. I came back. It wasn't too. I was almost an hour or something. I came back with shoes fucking grindin'. You mother fucker screaming.

Unfucking timey. And then I came over and I just ate her box until she fucking calmed down. Wow. That's a good one. That's a good one. Because you were still hungry. Did you show?

I had fucking Prophosis Social, whatever the fuck you want. And then I took out the brownie she wanted. And she was like, she had a bird, like a kitten. Wow. Herd, like a kitten. You eat him in front of her? No, she ate him. She ate him.

She ate him in front of you. I fed her like, she was a queen. Wow. Aater box. While she was tied up. Yeah, while she was. I didn't know how to do didn't Now here's a problem The bloggers get a hold of that

If somebody's like Bobby did this to me The bloggers are whole that There's no way to defend that behavior Yeah, but we were That was our sexual Yeah, but that was our sexual connection But you can't defend that if it's public

We choose to tie me up She used to tie me up No way, really Oh fuck yeah She tied me up She tied me up one time And just stood over me And wouldn't give me sex Look just picture in your picture She out, she tied me up, she tied me up one time and just stood over me and wouldn't give me sex.

She just picked me up. She, oh, she, making me a heart on, she fucking stood over me for 45 minutes and would just can't make me, then she would slap me. We were into this weird shit we had to, I don't like slap. I don't like fucking against. I didn't like it either and I fucking used to get really mad because she hurt me. You know what, she doesn't like it in Slap? She would physically hurt me.

DeAndre Johnson? Oh my god. This is a go away. What is that? Quarterback. Quarterback from that Vizio. The girl smacked him in a punchster. TMZ has completely taken that everything preliminary to him punching punching the girl TMZ is taking that out of the video and just

Started because it looks like it looks like they were just at the bar getting a drink together He just punches her. Yeah, but I don't see him in a show the whole thing Yeah, she's putting together right? Should he journal is no no, I what I heard is he was just going to the bar and she was getting pushed all over So she didn't want somebody pushing him so she fucking elbow them. No, no, no, she punched him And then she got it. Yeah, he punched she punched him He grabbed our hands and then she She fucking punched me and he punched her in the face

The thing is like look you shouldn't hit women and stuff like that. You should be able to humiliate them No, they're going away. You should get a throw by Someone punches you with me again this stuff right now when someone punches you in the face though You're not thinking you know, you just say it's an incident. Don't punch a guy if you're in a disadvantage You can't get puncher I don't challenge people to fucking chess games when they're way better than me. Yeah, I don't try to eat in contest It's like you just don't know what you're getting into. Yeah I don't fucking I don't I don't I'm not a championship eater you fucking cocks

I can eat you Bobby if you apply yourself. I'm real. I'm yourself. He doesn't eat a lot He doesn't win championships lot. He didn't Don't win championships. Yeah, but you're a really good amateur Definitely golden gloves Eat more than him now you got a big appetite this guy, but I don't know anymore. Have ever seen Bobby now you know we ate it same time no no no he's not eat more than but I saw Bobby do some well I've never seen a human being like that versus house it we were all sitting there watching that I've never seen anything like it then we had a he had a six foot hero the guy ate like three feet of the hero after we had a full fucking meal I was it was insane He was trying to leave and then he came up to the sandwich

and he was like, fuck. He's exaggerating to get some not exaggerating. Dude, that is three. Ask Verzi. Bring Verzi out. We've talked about that night for like six months straight about what you did. We didn't think it was possible.

I have a lot. I can eat. I don't eat that much. I eat a lot. You eat more than me. He does eat more than me, but I do eat a lot. But off. I think listen to back to the fucking actual topic that you brought up Yeah, if a woman hits you. Yeah I think the right thing to do if you could do the right thing is to leave

Yeah, I can leave it when I'm just touching at you over and over But it's not just like but hold on it's not just one punch and then standing there waiting for your reaction. You leave. It's out of the blue, someone's clawing and punching you out. You know, listen, I'm saying, listen, I think the right, just walk away,

she's punching in the back of the head. Well, the right thing to do is fucking leave. I'm not saying that it's the, I'm gonna stop the blows first. It's not the thing that you're gonna do, but it's not the thing that you're gonna do. I don't think that's the right thing to do. I think it's, I think it's the right thing to do that think that's the right thing to do. I think it's the right thing to do.

I think it's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. If you can defend yourself fine, but if she wasn't, she threw one left. Did you see the video? Did you see the video? Okay, then you don't know what you're talking about. Of course she threw, she threw, she bumped into her, they started back and forth. I think she used the N word.

That's what they're saying. That's what you made. He's more to you than you were. That's what he's word. That's what they're saying That's what he's more to you. You're all using words That's what he said black people black people that's not an excuse anymore for violence You don't know you don't just gonna be violent. That's your old culture. That's why we look down on you guys You know, okay You can't let the war aliens blast you up to an alien right now. I Porn you with the bomb I Porn you with the bomb

It does not give a You can't let a word push you into violence you can't be a violent people. I'm sorry It's not an excuse anymore fuck Chris rock him wherever he says that oh if he says nigger you'll out of fight them No, you're not no, you're not you're part of the society. That's a fucking word But if you just say that if a girl hits you, you get hit her back? That's not a word. She hit him.

She got him in word and hit him. Just hit him. Just hit him. That's the last question. So if a girl hits you, you can hit her back. Sure. No. She starts a fight.

If a little guy hits you, can you hit him back? Yes. If Rhonda Rousey hits you, can you not hit her back? No. Oh, she's a fucking lethal weapon. OK, so where's the line? Is it not size? You sue her for everything she does. Now, the girl through the girl picked her harm up, supposedly called him the N word.

When we play the video. Hang on a second. Well, I don't know if you can see it, but if you can pull it up, it's great. Hold on, let's come and remember, it's got us first good idea. Hey, that's not fair, I got a lot of good ideas. Well, when I worked at garbage truck, you know, I had fucking Polish, right? I got some great Yankee tech. So, he grabbed her fist, whatever you need.

Grabbed her fist, and then she went, she threw a left. Hit him in the face, and then he came over with an overhand right, and knocked her right in the face. Didn't knock her out, but hit her hard. That's it. That's what happened. I think what he did was more instinct than anything. That's my point.

It's like you shouldn't hit a woman. But he did. I instinct. It's like you didn't also demand it. Right. But when you get hit by anyway, you just not think you just react. You know, out of the blue gets struck with violence. It's like, it's an instinct.

But, I mean, if you could, if you could just say, that doesn't justify. I mean, if somebody punched me on the street, and I punched him back, I'd tell the cops, he punched me first, and they would let me go. I did do it. And they would look at you and they go, we know. We know it's just dirty.

There it is, there it is. If it was Monroe, he'd be up against the car, with his face smashed into the pavement. Don't fucking move. I'm gonna show him. I'm like, that's getting him. Stop resisting! Stop fighting! Stop resisting!

Stop resisting! How funny is this? Let's go. Go ahead and say to me. Well, you're the host of the show, Bobby. Yeah, but I already saw it. You brought it up for him. I was gonna give it to you and you delegate.

Don't. Just take it. Just you delegate. You fucking garbage people. Just for the record, I do not support any of Ar reshaferes ideas thoughts or theories yeah or haircuts I supported the haircut when it was fresh now and we go haircut yeah shape I know he has a ball spot in the back just weird Weird, bathing with a moho, by the way, it looks like a pond and a lot over there. It looks like the aliens landed there like a crop circle. It looks good on a moho.

Shut up and take it. The black style told me like you got to do this like every week and a half. You got it, we told you. I know you're this. Don't call us the blacks. I like, no, I was a group, you guys are the blacks. Peats in it too. There's a lot of whites in there, but you guys look black.

Peats kind of blacks in it. You hear that blacks, it's not an excuse for the madness. Not all black people, You're a group. You dare a Fili Blacks. Chris Cotton. Mostly black. They're throwing in Indians and in the black.

What the fuck is this? The shame. No, not the people. You got your group of comics. But listen, yes, we have headphones on. We have microphones. You say, don't hit a girl. You're a rock.

I'm the black. I got it. She had to don't hit a girl. You're all on the blast. She didn't get knocked out. She was just kind of hurt. Yeah. So like, what huge damage was done? Why are we not respecting women enough to say, she just got punched back? That was a good chin.

Yeah, so then what's the real problem? She, he punched a girl who could take it. Yeah. And why was the training her? We're still treating her like a princess. Yeah. But that's not a princess. That's a girl who punched first but that's not a princess That's a girl who punched first see some that picture got to what the issue right? That's a human who punched another human got punched back and took it

Well, the issue is like when you're a star quarterback You got to know he was a third string, but I mean, or whatever he is and also this is like you can't know about it There's a lot of it. He's done. He's off the team is not coming back from that It's just you know it the backdrop is domestic violence. That's a problem, you know, and that's so we're very sensitive. You can't be black and hit women, because that automatically bring up that. Well, if you think you can hit women, if they hit you, then that's a choice you make. But if I think that if a woman, if a woman hit me, I'd probably try to just walk away.

Okay. If a guy hits you, would you do the same thing? No. But you could, right? I could, yeah. I would try. Yeah, if a guy hits you, would you do the same thing? No. But you could, right? I could, yeah. I would try. Yeah, absolutely. Unless it was had to do with my family. If my family was anywhere in the vicinity, I would not murder anybody.

Now you're thinking of like a garbage person. But I do not. I do not want to be a boss. So about family. You go for the kneecaps first. If I had to protect my family, if it was, you know, because they would get hurt, I would do whatever the fuck it was.

Play Godfather music, but um Anybody fucking fucks with my family what touches my donuts I fucking swear you dead You can walk away sure but like with only punch you I don't think punching back is that you ever punched a girl I mean don't as an adult god you should try to be so good you punch a girl during sex mostly punch But if you punch with a straight forearm straight into the cheek like straight Match it flush not don't get corners straight in makes like a big fucking noise and then it's good The fun was at an old Jewish saying It's good

Look at me muzzle tough now you got to try to one you have win. You should never punch a woman under any circumstances ever. Really? Just on the record. Is this the end of it? Happy I've had rough sex? Yeah. What was the roughest thing? But what happened, rough sex wise?

Was it you, or she's doing it to you, or you doing it to her? Yeah, no. One girl wanted me to hit her, and I felt like Woody Allen. I was like, I was like afraid, and I was like, sure, you know, I didn't want to. It's that good, is that a right? You can't. Yeah, I got afraid. And she was like hit me and like a fucking head turned

around like bags to says, hit me. Are you sitting on the back when you started your head? No, it was straight up. And you know, missionary. And she wanted me to hit her. And I didn't, I didn't. I think I gave her like a little pat, but I'm not in the violence in my side

I like a little rough sex but no hitting no no hitting no hitting yeah I was in the creepy weird sex in my 20s a little rough a little you know like a role-playing really crazy role-playing I got into that but then I got out of it because it got a little scary I got a little fucking scared at some point said, you know, this could get carried away. And you know, you can hit by somebody, you don't know. Even during sex, it still makes you mad.

I mean, she scratched my face one day, and I fucking food, because I want ice cream, and I was like, I'll get, she was like, I want it now, and she just scratched my face. And I was like, I gotta show you motherfucker. I had to show that night. I was like, I got a show, you motherfucker. I had a show that night. I was so fucking mad. And I just took her, I go, I took her, I go,

we'll leave, I took her like a little kid and put her in the car, drove her back to my apartment. Dr. Tape, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not like you can turn around. He's not like you can turn around. He's not like you can turn around. Dr. Tape, to a ceiling, like a little car. I took her back to my car.

I did. You're getting turned around a little bit, aren't you? I remember. I tried to, you ever tried to find an old chick that used to do fucking crazy sex with, like try to find what she looks like now? They either fall apart. That's great. They either pregnancy fall apart.

I found a couple that were smoking like, oh, you know. Really? Yeah, I found a couple that were smoking. What's, you know. Really? Yeah, I found a couple that was smoking. What's wrong? Yeah. Why have you done that? Yeah, but it's always usually like pretty gross. Are you talking to your microphone?

No, I don't know. There you go. Your microphone's low. Yeah, they get older. Age is not cool. Yeah. Yeah, I think comics we age differently. Actually, we're children.

I think we have a responsibility. Sitting around doing a radio show in someone's apartment, all my friends are like have families and have to wake up tomorrow. My friend is probably going to sleep in the morning. I don't know. Look what we're doing. I was going to smoke weed from a guy. He got to stand out at the stand.

The smoke weed, go to another spot, hopefully, fuck a chick. I mean, we're kids. I get calls on the reg for people like, hey, come over my basement and let's do my little pretend radio show. It's like, dude, we kids, I get calls on the reg for people like, hey, come over my basement and let's do my little pretend radio show. It's like, dude, we're 40. Are you gonna put down my show one more time? You're fucking hot, isn't that? The show that made you?

Not just what you know. I guess that's it, but I think it's because we laugh a lot too. Well, there's that. I think that we laugh a lot. And the Stevenson Noon helps. Yeah, I wish I had that's it, but I think it's because we laugh a lot too. Well, there's that. I think that we laugh a lot. And the sleeping soul noon helps. Yeah. I'm stupid. I wish I had that.

And mushrooms, whatever you want. I used to sleep. I remember I used to sleep till three. Wow. Three. I'd wake up, get food, and then go back to bed. You guys remember coming into comedy and going like, wow, their lifestyle is not what I expected. What do you mean? I mean, like I was Freddie Soto to play, I finally

played golf and I was like, you play, he's like, yeah, I said, we should play. He goes, yeah, I'm good. I go, hey, we got a tea time tomorrow at 10 if you want to play, go, 10. No, no, three. You can't play golf at 3. Yeah, he's talking about. I remember, I used to, when I first moved to New York and I had, my first time I never had a job. I, when I moved to New York and I had my first time I never had a job I want when I moved to New York I quit all my jobs and I was just doing comedy full-time And I remember on three months in I felt guilty. I just was sitting around I would be walking around trying and he was like dude you worked your ass off to be fucking lazy dummy Go back to bed go play Xbox. So Patrice. Yeah, go play a video game

You fucking idiot stay up all night sleep all day Yeah, such an asshole to karaoke That's what we do you carry okay? Yo, he does yo the black day the black Do you carry your okay? The blacks we we got a marathon competition going on We got a lot of yo monro doesn't rain does a lot of Driving range. Yeah tells a peers wow We just put a lot of money on the card and just going that was the card. I'll be random. Oh nice

Monroe went to Italy just I was like yo, you know, he was at sea was like no Italy in April It was my brother. I saw that and I was like wow Monroe is doing comedy Italy Yeah, I just went because I'd never been abroad before how much how much was it? I called a deal on Ember it was two round trip tickets for a 50 It was whatever money, so you got that guy cold What ever money? We rented an entire Airbnb for thousand hours. I tell you floor who you with no it was me in my two homies homies My poor Jared's not a comic he's either ahead of advertising for Sony

What did it look like the motherland of garbage? Huh it was fucking awesome man. I have a few you can't even say to hear not there. Oh, yeah over there Totally different. I thought they suck over there. I hate Italian people live I also I fucking hate it. They're clean. They're the worst people. They're the worst people. Why do you say this? Because I lived over there Clean they're the worst people. They're the worst people. Why do you say this? Over there That's not enough and you were if you were there for seven days You were an impressed that didn't remind you of flushing queens Why you hated it?

South Italy. Oh no why why you hated it? Why do you get why do the people were at last? They didn't like it. They didn't like Americans they would fucking taunt us all the time Because you don't want to learn about their culture Tunting you they would just try to fuck your fat ass No, but we had one black And they would just throw racers shit at him constantly like what they would call me inward constantly Who would you use the inward over there? Oh, yeah, they do I don't know I didn't know by the way one of the funnest they thought you were a fucking athlete so they would go right yeah they did think I got not soccer because I'm too big to play soccer crazy racist I will give you

crazy crazy yeah I loved it though yeah crazy yeah that soccer coach is out Italy I got in place on a scene for science I want to know so fucking sick of racing. It's boring. It's so boring hang on relax. All right, hang on I'm boring now. It's so fucking Brazos of not boring racism is what the team shit is boring. Yeah, no new. No, there's new There's so much Racism is I'll tell you a few people that I've gotten new stuff San triple he has a great joke about how Black people cross the street slowly, and they really do. They really do.

They take their time. They take their time. They go right before they change green, so you gotta fight. And people always moan. People always moan when he says it, because people are like, oh, I don't know if you like this. It goes, fine, I hope you get caught at a fucking green

light in front of the Million Man March, and just sit there for like nine days. Black people do, but here's the thing, they are white, but that's kind of old, two I've heard people do. That's everybody, that's anybody. A white guy will draw, do that little fast trot when he's, pick it up, don't really pick it up.

Go to the store, it's the same shit. They cross the street whenever they wanna. No, no, no, it's not, they cross the light. They cross slowly when they choose the cross. It's a casualness of like look. I'm free I can take eight minutes to get across this tree fucking mean free Prith and free Monroe I want you to look at the size of Monroe. Yeah, that's the second time you went what you mean

You know you don't get for what you mean Yeah, there's no you don't get for what you means and you're gonna put your if I get punched I punch back The idea When I wake up punch back Yeah, I'm looking at my rose fucking arms and I'm looking at your Pilates arms Next time he's on guys you gotta just walk away. Yo, go You gotta just walk away. Yo, go. You got to just walk away. Um, I didn't tell you about this week. What do you mean racism is, I mean, it is over. It's the same shit. Hang on guys.

You can't gap over each other. It just kind of boars me. It's like, it's just kind of stew. It's like so. It's like still, you know, it's the same shit over and over again. You hate people for the same exact that reason like you don't know I'm stupid like this. There should be updated racism Like what I knew people like that like yeah, let's take a new observation like black people never used to skateboard now It's a normal thing and Chinese do it. Those aren't good students anymore because we're better exactly Yeah, but these aren't good students anymore. They don't have multiple children They have one children Chinese kids aren't quiet anymore. They're actually quite loud. Yeah, but that's not racism, those are jokes.

I'm talking about like real racism, where like, I'm not gonna hire you, because you're black. That type of shit, like, yeah. Oh yeah, well that, it's just like, or like really fucking believing that one people is better than another people just thinking in generalizations and that garbage. We talked about this on the earlier show.

You don't think that America in the last 20 years, 30 years the speed of which we've I mean there is there's a black President there are gay listen there gay my kids gonna go up with fucking Gay people get married Not even that weird anymore when you see it around the street that has them in a weird five 30 years Not even that weird anymore when you see it around the street. That hasn't been a weird far like 30 years That's what you say in the last 30 20 30 years now these kids growing up now I'm gonna be growing up with gay people getting married and it's not that's just the way life is yeah, but it's it's changing It's it depends where you are. Yeah, I've seen on stage two. I've seen there is so much racism still in this country Still some but it's not not much fucking so much man Florida

I mean I mean of course there is but I think that out of any country we're changing the fastest What? No, you got you got to base that on one other country. Yeah, you can't just say we're doing the best Yeah, Syria Syria, but yeah, Syria has one race too. South Africa. There's no racism when everyone's the same. We're behind most of the western world in a lot of our social issues. You think so?

I don't think so. You're open up on your, why don't you're up on your, what? You're up on your, with social issues. Racism won't give you that. They're fucking horrible. No, no, no, no, what do you mean? They're horrible. They're horrible. With black people, they could have do you mean? That horrible horrible horrible with black people

They don't have black people to have Africans. Yeah, they just those are different Yeah, I want to start throwing bananas at white players and just let people like analyze it however They use it for potassium People would just be confused Put it in a smoothie. Why is it you feeding us? What's going on right now? I would be hilarious No, but as far as gay-marriage and stuff, we're way behind us.

Those places still have a huge immigration problem. You can't hate the two of you. I'm saying here, black people are born here. So you can't hate us. Black people are born in England too. They're African and A.U. whatever do you think Americans have this habit of comparing us to like just saying we're the best without actually relating it to any other country just

saying we're the best ones because we are and we don't need to compare something like we're number one like we're 17th in education we're 45th in healthcare yeah we're 23rd and freedom of the press. We are number one and being awesome. Yeah, that's it I'm gonna be blind. That's fucking Italian. Yeah, that's right. That's what I mean. I'm I'm going to go more garbage people. He's my friend Garbage people Now they talk what is that? I think it's an Italian sausage Markle from the Jersey jerks said you're a fucking asshole I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away.

I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away.

I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away.

I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. I was just being pulled away. Who Nick the Paulo? That'll be in a rough busy day of keeping his wife in the kitchen and let him call in real quick All right, let me show you a picture Marco first. Oh, yeah, get that fucking. He's been feeling. He's a friend of mine Get that gobbagoon Yes, he has a podcast on my network a great podcast called the Jersey let's get some sausage. Oh, he's now

I'm here now from fillet How could you call my fucking head sister? I mean that from Philly how could you call my fucking ancestors? garbage peeps off and so I'm sure he's gonna be hard for he can't hear you so you have to scream because I would not the plug In the phone Well, I am I didn't plug the thing in for the phone Jesus Yeah, he has a great podcast that he does the Jersey jerks and he's a friend of mine. He's a good guy and he's a Titan. You want to say that one more time? Well, I don't want to set you guys up and just call some guy and then you trash I know, but I heard you the first four times. I am. I am. I'm Italian, I really.

He talks to this guy on the reg, so they're good friends. I'm the reg. I love the, anytime he's on the show, whatever he says is the name of the show. We've had people make street signs because of this. What city? What city? It's the right day. Anyways, I'm calling.

I don't know what to talk about. Here we go. Here we go. You ready? What's your name? Yes, I'm calling. I don't know what's wrong. Here we go. Here we go. You ready? Yes, I'm ready. He made a garbage people versus Ari. Round one. Marco, you're on the YKWD. Yeah, you are. You're on right now. Ari Shafir, Janice Poppiss, Chris Gopo, yeah you are you're on right now are you sure fear you're on his popus uh... christopoe when romartan deep who

uh... myself and and and and are you sure fear saying that uh... uh... that uh... time people are garbage people and i told them i told you he's an asshole for saying that uh... you are yeah it's a great comeback that's's a great educated comeback. That's great. You're definitely not proven my point you fucking piece of garbage Hey, it's gonna violence and it's a fuck you. That's a good that's a good retort. Hey on one second Did I mention that he's a friend of mine and Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, you go for the jugular out of the gate. He's saying fuck you in a funny fuck you way

No, he's not. He's pissed. Marco, are you saying? No, I'm here. I'll help punch him right in the middle of the fuck you. That's what I mean. They will keep going with the violence. They will revere violence.

Well, maybe he's a big guy. I mean, you go away with that. You guys family garbage people. His ancestors garbage people. Not specific. This is on that side. My people, we built this country. Explain that, explain that, explain what you're done. There's a couple of bridges. How have you built this country?

Let Aaron talk. What did you build here? The GW. He wants to know what you built. What the Italians built. You mean you were workers? You mean you were the lowest of the low and you were the workers that they put, they slaves? You were the freed slaves here and you're saying we built this country and not black people? You fucking idiots!

You dumb, I'm educated! Piece of a whop garbage! What did the Jews build? Tell me, tell me, tell me. Paramets? The media, the banking system. The diamond industry, and the DIMON DILF-FALLING. Sorry, it's all failing. The comedy seller, Chinese stores, China Town, the greatest common club in America,

Seinfeld, fucking folk music. Andrew Dice Clay. Who pretends to be a garbage person. They always go back to that. What we built. What the fuck do you want to go to? Something value. What pizza? Pizza's the only other one.

They did build a country out of a little nothing in the desert. That's pretty impressive. Oh, the juice. Yeah, it was swamp and desert. Yeah, but we helped them the Italians now the Americans we gave you that thing wow the British the British gave it to us well we told them they could do it's completely wrong but okay but what they what they've done with it is pretty remarkable Marco listen all right listen we don't forget the

Marco you got it you're so siege is getting out of the oven you go get it put some gravy on it Fuckin' eat it up young young Okay, great sounds awesome Greatest podcast, Voltaugh I'll be in film the obvious September. I love that tour All right, Marco, come, come, look me up, I can't see you I'll be in Philadelphia September. I love that tour I was gonna say, well not you specifically just as a people you're gross, but now yes, you specifically to Marco. Marco, I know you just got mad and you lost control.

Just like Italians always do. Get mad at those controls. Definitely don't think clearly. That's not a quality you guys have. I'm sorry, temper. What's that? It's a tiny temper. Yeah, you can't just call them. Now, do you really mean

when you take them on a little tour of Philly? Without... Absolutely. You're not gonna open your trunk, it's gonna be plastic at all. I got a place where you just sit. I think you should take them to the... cement shoe store.

No, the... Marco, do you need to go? Because your mom's calling you from upstairs? Marco, it's a referral. If you took me on a tour of Philadelphia, if you took me on a tour of Philadelphia, I'll get your free tickets to the show for you and a couple people.

Look at that. Did you get it? The Jew is reaching out. All right, so he's gonna get you ticket. You take him on a tour of Philly, Italian. Show him what the Italians did in Philly. What they're all about, and then he's gonna get your free tickets to the show for you

and whoever you want. Bring him to the Rocky statue. We'll mostly go to the next round. You can get your stamp, we do straight up, straight up, and off the boat. Okay, see? Oh, that's a Philly accident, I love it. I love it.

I love it. So this is, here's the thing. you get in touch with him on Twitter. You're gonna take him on a tour and Change his mind about you your garbage people right after you punch him in his fucking big-juice That's too easy target Right, it's too easy for target Took a broadside of a part is harder Ampere's thin head if you turn his nose into a hill you there's something I want to punch if anything you just be jutting out towards me That's probably that girl from the FSU quarterback probably a Jew like I

Buddy I Marco. I love you and your people All right, Paisan Now go get your fucking shine box Now go get your fucking shine box God is the greatest episode of all time god damn you are he does are. He's just, Ari does not give a fuck. He really does it. No, he really puts the greatest. He's the greatest.

He really does. That's why I love you buddy. I mean, I don't agree with you, but I fucking love you. I think that a time people are great people. I think Irish people, I think Italians, Irish black, Chinese, it's what, it's immigrant. Whoa, whoa, Chinese, whoa, whoa, whoa. Chinese, come on relax bro. You're the fucking rearos. I know, but. Come on, man. Chinese it's what I'm it's well Chinese whoa whoa whoa whoa

Relax bro I know but man come on back in the day day We didn't and we use them and it helped us really the architects who really built it well They know they did not they help build Jesus Christ when you're looking like who designed this building? You don't think like who fucking put the brick on? Yeah, you should go they could get anybody for that that. No, the comedy show is amazing. Really? How are the waitresses? See if I talk that gorilla down See how I use my words to take him off the ledge, to move him where I wanted to, with education.

I haven't read a book in 12 years, and I'm gonna still fucking run circles around him academically. It's innate, you guys. It's innate. It's really true. I'm so true. Ari is I'm still worked up over the Schumer apology that I'm just like it. Let's just hit everybody Ari is Michael

Why did it make you mad? You know why she did but she did it in a very passive aggressive way her her apology Was a very passive aggressive apology? I had to talk other people down. She goes she said all racial humor is wrong I'm like show me in here where she said that she said she didn't want to hurt anybody. She's a she's sorry if she did The fuck does right but she didn't say all racial humor strong. I think I'm a comment. I apologize It just makes it guys guys you talk Literally no, no, no, the Schumer joke with about all right We'll tell you just ask us you don't have to talk and you kept talking it It was a tense podcast

It was something you have a good point. It was some years old joke It was a two-year-old joke that no one noticed when it came out and what was it and then I'm cutting no It was basically I used to I used to have sex with Mexicans but no I used to date Latins but now I prefer a consensual I was funny that's from company that was from years ago no one noticed it no one got mad then a blogger came on and said hey we should be mad about this and when you present it in those terms because because why? Because of her fame. Because of her fame.

Because of her fame. Yeah, but you're going to a joke that you didn't notice when it came out. It didn't hit your head when it came out. So now you're like, let me look at something that should get me mad because I have to write a blog every week and I have to sell. I want to take her down and not. It's not about that. She should know about it.

She should know about it. She should know about it. She should about content and then and then her having some time and getting eyes on her content. Yeah. So the blogger reads it. The first the blog first responders come in and they go, that's wrong. It's terrible. What you did. Did you say this? You take any comedy off the off the stage and put it on paper. It all looks terrible. All of it. Yeah. So then people go, this is wrong. It's wrong. And now she's thinking probably like, hey, fuck, that deal is really seem shitty Well, she was going for a joke. She does work for the machine

She has a movie coming out. She's got another movie. She just got on but she's in but here's the I'm bad for comedy. Yeah, I agree when she apologized if you listen to the apology She explained herself in a in a I believe in a truthful way, because she doesn't, I used to be that type of character on stage. I sometimes still am, but I don't, I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings.

And I believe that's true. We all don't want, we're not going out there to hurt people. We're going out there to make people laugh with what we think is funny. And then she said, at the end of it, I hope that explains it. I hope that, but it was me like, it was almost like a, I hope you're satisfied.

Here's you wanted to know this. I think it was like, Hey, you're right. I don't want to hurt people. I don't. She also put in there. There's some words you got to look up. The some words like now that I'm bigger, I want to reconsider, uh, the things I say. Can I say something? But I don't think want to reconsider the things I say can I say

something but I don't think that's a lie I think that where she's at in a career that you evolve the more eyes that go are you if you I know those are the words you that I think you were bigger than you were and you had a show if they give you a show in a network and it was a head you would rethink calling Italian people garbage. I don't think he hears the deal. That's why I wouldn't take that show. Right.

Because I have level of integrity where my comedy's, what? What if it was a show called garbage Italian people? Yeah. Wait, hey, he was just a racist that owned a garbage company. It was just like a garbage company. And it was all Italians and you just made fun of them the whole time. But no, dude, you can't say that. So you're saying that if someone offered you a gig

on a network or your own show, and it was something that you were passionate about, that you loved, that you wrote, but you wouldn't kinda tighten things up a little bit. There's nothing's gonna touch my standup. And if it comes to that point, I'll be like, guys, I'm sorry, but I can't accept your money anymore. Really?

Yeah. I turned on ads. I just got in trouble for an ad because I, it's for a mattress company and I explicitly like pointing it out how Tom's a grown is wife fuck on it. She fucks him in the ass with like a dildo and stuff. Like, oh, it's dirty. You can't say shit like that.

I'm like, then keep your money. Then I don't want it. You know what, though? You can't tell me what to say. It's the one thing you cannot tell me what to do. I think the money's a little different, though. Absolutely. But we're just talking about levels.

It's a ton of money. Absolutely. And then, yeah, it was all of them. But here's why it's bad for comedy. Can I just, you're talking about, you're talking about 150 bucks for a cash per mattress ad. Or $10 million. $10 million.

$1,000. But go ahead. All right, whatever. You know what I meant. You fucking cocks. Absolutely. But it cock absolutely different love 1000 no but what are he said is to like the blogger takes you to get a stroke no all you have to have a snooze and yeah I hate you so the blogger takes it out of context and then says all she's saying that all Latin people are racist which is like that

or rapist but that's not what you know what she was saying she's using hyperbole which is what comedy is hang on what that's not what you said. It's not what she was saying. She's using hyperbole, which is what comedy is. Hang on a second. To make a joke about how Latins have that sort of machismo kind of aggressiveness about them. That Latins would probably, if they heard that in the context of a comedy club, would actually think is funny.

I don't think it's not someone. No one Latinos are rapists. Yes, it's a joke. It's a joke using hyperbole. But no one is exaggerating. So what are we gonna do? What the fuck are we gonna do? What's going on?

No one from the Latin community against it. When it happened. But no, it was actually Latin. It was two years later. But wasn't that Lady Latin? Yeah, because they all get offended at their own thing or why people get offended for black people. She should have did what Natasha Ligero did,

said I'm not apologizing. Natasha was great. And it went away, so I'm making jokes. I explain that, explain that because you're just saying something that doesn't make sense. Natasha made a joke. Yeah. Same thing. She goes, she made a joke on she did the New Year's Eve thing. A veteran. Yeah. She goes, and there were Pearl Harbor veterans coming out. And she said

something along the lines of they don't need a medal. They need fix it. Dent. Denture cream. Something like that. And people like that. This respectful to our veterans. And she goes, it's a joke about 93 year olds. Right, yeah. That's because they're in Pearl Harbor, right? You say how long ago is, and she goes, instead of fucking shitting on me, why don't you pay attention to the fact that we, we a fucking abandoned our veterans to come back, half of them have PTSD, and half of them are homeless. I, what I did was donated a bunch of money to the fucking veteran funds. Instead of jumping out of comedian from making a joke about old people.

Right. That, that referenced, that references veterans. Okay, I'm, I'm not, I'm not that person who did that. I'm mad on the other side. He's still worked up by the garbage. He's looking at me, not blinking. He doesn't afraid that he's gonna punch me. He is the problem.

I've heard, I've heard young comics. Right. Say, I don't know if I should make this joke because it might be crossing a line when one of these things Come up and I'm like now what's happened is someone is not being creatively free Because of these apologies, right? So I think yes these apologies hurt stand-up comedy I think we should do is never apologize and never put on Facebook one of those blog posts Yeah, because we're the ones pushing it forward. You can say like this. Hey, maybe it was a bad joke Maybe it didn't work on a maybe it didn't like it, but I'm not gonna apologize for it

And it's it's not it's not um genuine because she made the joke. Yeah, so why is it why you gonna make it? You know, did you take it down? Yeah, you call comedy central said delete that from now on? I mean, well, you know, here. I mean what I was away wrong to someone get hurt over it I mean just in keeping with that Baseball's a full swing. You can be part of all the action this season at DraftKings.com, the official daily fantasy partner of a major league baseball. Daily fantasy means what? No season-long commitment, just instant cash, instant gratification. Why wait until the end of the season? Get paid when you can win

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Por lo que... Por lo que, todo eso, casos, cuando se lo dices a todo eso, así que, no, Jeff Kingsley, su suportas de racismo. Es un problema. Es un problema. that cash you were looking right at the Jew when you said all that so just so you know Jeff Kings you support racism. That's not true. That's not true. That is not true. It's like here again. Here's the I get the pressure. I understand the pressure to apologize. I get it but I just don't care for it. I think that and I don't think it's necessary. I think these things will go away to ignore it. Right. I think it hurts you more when you apologize.

Like you remember David Letterman had that affair. He came out. He admitted it. It was done Rick Patino did the same thing girl was trying to extort black nail and just boom admitted it. It was done. It's like didn't apologize. I did it and that's it. Yeah, we are Tiger Woods Went on this huge apology guy be can he can he since then he has been They win when you apologize when you apologize they win they went but then they pressure more people it kind of makes me think that like tiger woods would happen to him uh... what his ego was something that made him a great golfer his superman ego he knew he was better than everybody and then take that away from somebody like that and all of a sudden it's like wow well golf is a lot of mental it's all about mental shit, right? He also was getting older so there's that yeah

I just I mean look at look at there's a bunch of White golfers that played very good into the late ages ages. I felt bad for me I mean Amy had like major publications like I read something the Washington Yeah, like I think the headline was like don't get it wrong Amy Schumer is a racist I'm like oh yeah Washington post them is like some editorial how the fuck look at Tutorials if we if you're trying to be funny you are Exempt yeah, but they don't get that they don don't get that. They don't look at it. We're doing this at a night to Columbus in front of just white people. She's doing on stage in front of Spanish people, in front of black people, in front of

everybody and doing these. We all are. We'll go in front of everybody trying these jokes. I don't think bloggers. If there were customers getting upset, if there were fans of Amy's, they would have gotten upset two years ago It's people who read it on a page and also somebody who wants to get famous off of it This is a blogger who now has a career. She's the woman who kind of you know what I hate down Amy Schumer And I hate when comics join in and they go look I don't think the joke was funny, but totally has a right to say it. It's like don't even fucking say that Don't even say that part. You're not being a fucking hero saying that part just say she has a right to say it right Don't even fucking say that. Don't even say that part. You're not being a fucking hero, saying that part. Just say, she has a right to say it.

Right. Don't say the, so fucking frustrating of people do that. You fucking say it. I've never disagreed with one person on a podcast so much. You're like, yeah, no, fuck you, yeah, yeah. Went from garbage people to like, yeah, are you making some good damn points?

Maybe are you shit smugged that, Joyce? Jesus Christ, you have a, you have this weird fucking time. You know what you have? You have an Italian temper. I'm telling you that right now. You have a garbage temper. You have a garbage temper.

You're really hot. What the fuck, dude? Here's the thing, dude. I'm going, Jesus, garbage people. They were like, fuck yeah, are he right, dude? Vloggers are reviewing standup like it's a show. Like it's a movie. And we're not, they, I mean, we are entertaining you, but we're really there just to express our point

of view. So you can't change that. If we are super racist, I mean, I knew a guy who did a joke about some gay guy hitting on him, and he said, I was proud of myself because I didn't think about it. I just punched him in the face. And it got a laugh or didn't, but it doesn't matter. It's it's just that's a guy who's expressing himself and that's our art form That's what we do is say here's what I feel and I'm gonna make it funny. Yeah, it's not here's what you should feel And I'm gonna make it funny. That's not we do

But that's what was happening for a while where there was a lot of comments who are just pandering and they were still getting on They were saying what other people wanted to hear. Yeah, that's not What do you mean? What do you mean? I don't know whenever I want stand up now. It's all the same shit over and on It's been it's been that way for a little while I think they play into yeah, I think they've it's comedy is become of the monologue the late-night monologue set Well, you don't even have to be funny. You just have to say the right things. Yeah, and that's what it is. But that's one of the best sets. One of the best sets.

One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets.

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One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets. One of the best sets I don't like about girls when they do abortion jokes and I'm like, you've never even been to a clinic. It's about your abortion that's completely inner-roaned. It's a bunch of comic. It's a bunch of comic saying how sensitive they are to minorities who have no minority friends. Yeah, that's what it is. It's like, oh, here's all this stuff about what should be right

for black people. And it's like, dude, you don't even have one black friend or you never had a black friend. But I would if they came around my neighborhood. Yeah, it's phony bullshit. It's phony saying the right thing, smack sign up, false and the bullshit. That's what it is.

Yeah, it's annoying, too. It is a sad thing with comedy. I mean, I remember when I was coming up, even though me, Patrice, Billy and Dane, we were all different. We were all different. We were all different. We were all funny. Kind of, there was things that we did,

like whatever, Dane was different than Billy. Billy was different than Patrice. I was different than all of them. We were all kind of silhouetted our own thing. And now when you see comics, there's groups of them just similar. They're just the same style. Pan each other on the back of the bomb.

I thought Paula talk to you. I was like, it was trash. It's trash. That's exactly what you're doing. And each other on the back of the bomb. I think that's a polytoc. I'm like, it was trash. It's trash. It's exactly what you mean. You don't mean the supportive is not mean nice no matter what. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, why would you want to be the same type of comic as your friend? Why would you want to hang out? They're all trying to figure out what works and do the same thing. Right. One of the best sets I ever saw. One of the best sets I ever saw was the sky Brian Holtzman.

And he hates cops. He thinks they're crooked. He doesn't like him. Kind of a bickowski level of hatred for them And this was four days after 9-11 when they were the biggest heroes they ever were and he goes fuck them He goes if I was jumping out of those buildings that were waiting so cop was below me So I could take out one of those motherfuckers with me And here's the terrible joke, but it is something funny about true to himself And that's what I want to see from my art.

I want you to express your own demons. Right. My own self be true. Yeah. Even if you're a piece of shit. Yeah. Now, if you're Chelsea Handler, you're talking about abortion. I believe it.

You know what I mean? Yeah, she actually vines her abortion. Man, it's gone that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I if you do have the apology really apology can you pull it up? Yeah, I put up. I think there was some type of if you know Amy in the way she can be I think there was a little fuck you at the end. Okay. Here's what I did. Here's I get Let's read it. It's our castle. It's our classic tone. It's tough at home. Yeah, let's try. The thing is too is if you say I'm sorry. You got offended by this, but I'm gonna keep doing it. Yeah, they take that to go see she said I'm sorry Okay, but but let's read it. Did you get it? Okay? This is Amy as a kid who grew up in flush We're gonna have we're gonna have are you a little village brother?

Starcast, sarcastic Village quates and like that fuck you way in your way The way you'd read it regular All right here we go. Ready? Okay. Okay so somebody's like what do you think of this and somebody who put it put that stuff? Did you say? I want to know where your mind was when you came up with this joke. Thank you so much for asking. I wrote this joke two years ago. I used to do a lot of short dumb jokes like this. I played a dumb white girl character on stage. I still do sometimes.

And once I realized that more eyes and ears on me and had an influence, I stopped telling jokes like that on stage. I'm evolving as any artist. I'm taking responsibility. I hope I haven't heard anyone. And I apologize if I did. Thanks again for asking. Actually, yeah, you're right.

I mean, yeah. You read it like that for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I think Amy in her, and I don't want to fucking jerk or dick off too much, because I love Amy, but I, you know, I think in her brilliance, she would have she had one. She found a way to,

I stopped telling jokes like that on stage. Once I realized I had an influence, I stopped telling jokes like that on stage. But that's okay, because you can change if that's what you wanna do as an artist. On your own. You can change on your own. Yeah, you can't change because of someone, because then can change if that's what you want to do as an artist. On your own. You can change on your own. Yeah, you can't change because of someone, because then it's not a real thing.

But I've already changed this, you guys. Yeah, look at them. I accept that. I think that Amy, and at the end, what does it last line say? Thanks for asking. Thanks for asking. Thanks for watching. Thanks for asking.

Yeah, yeah. It's not a hurry. Thanks for asking. She goes on with that woman. No, because she. Thanks for asking. She goes on with that, with the woman she was quoting on Twitter. She goes on to that. Well, she goes on to that. She goes, how would you hurt by my movie,

not including Black people? Like, she was like, how would you hurt by this? Specifically, how would you hurt? Right. And the lady was like, I just felt invisible that you didn't use Black people enough in your movie. Right. And then she stopped on the Broadway.

And then she stopped on the Broadway. And the woman said, your own, your Black characters in your movie were only like side characters They didn't have any real emotion. They didn't have the same place as one of your friends It was just like here's a black person. Oh what the fuck is supposed? I mean it's just a throw. Well, you know done about the same problem They got on her for not including black people where it's like honestly though it's saying his friends. It's like All right, she I people hang out with wine people. That's just the look around

So look at at groups. It does not much in her, England. Go, some, but there's not much. I, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I what? I wrote I did not say that. But then they get then Lena Dunham has a has a childish Gambino on on her show and people go yeah But it's not a full rich character. You're just putting them randomly on and it's like I'm right you guys You don't hear that from black people though. You don't hear that it's from white people you don't go Yeah, there's not enough white people on the game on the way show never Exactly. How I need enough white people on the game on Moisha never had that How he's more white people

They got they got on a Jay Z for happy because he said black people have support black people You know business and stuff and they show him and one of his companies and it's all white people like 50 white people Like what the fuck is wrong with you is him and Beyonce and all white people and he's like this factory is in Norway And he's like, this factory is in Norway. He's gonna remind me some black people there. I'd be happy to hire them, but you're not thought out in here. No, 50 cents at the same vein when he went to go see Exodus and somebody was like, how can you support this racist movie? He's like, bitch, I was just supporting a friend.

Like, I didn't write it. Supporting it. The message. It, supporting it. The message. It's fucked up. It's a fucked up time. Everyone needs a hero. And that's what it knows. Man, we were represented in.

And it's a no one. I've seen this in my lifetime with gay jokes in my comedy lifetime. I've seen when I started using gay as the punchline, we got a laugh. You know, I mean, like, yeah, it's so sure you fucking, you're gay. And everyone laughed. And then became more and more as like MTV started showing gay people on single-dowd and like random stuff. It just became more normalized.

And the 25 to 35 year old people that were in the audience were going to high school without people. And it just because now you do those jokes, they sort of fall flat. The audience decided on their own. No one wrote about it and said these gay jokes aren't allowable. Comics will stop if we don't get laughs. So you really bloggers, you need to write to the audience, not to the comics. Tell them to stop laughing. Pretty deep actually. I like that. Yeah. I'm glad. I'm glad that

you can just be a normal little Greek boy right now. And not go, and not have little quippy things to say. Well, I'm appreciating what he's saying. Yeah, I know, I see that. I don't know what this one is, but I'm like, I'm appreciating what he's saying. It's well thought out. Unlike the garbage people thing. I'm just surprised.

I'm just surprised. No, he went from like the most hasty generalization in stereotypes to like the most specific point They make headlines Amish humor's racist and it's like now you're not gonna analyze this on your own anyway Trevor Noah's racist tweets Of course you're gonna only see that one way now instead of just looking at a tweet and go that was funny or that was not funny But you wouldn't even think to say racism because no one put a headline of it all. I mean but Jesus who didn't think to clean out his tweets. I got the biggest comedy fucking job. I got a job at fusion. They cleaned up my tweets and nobody said, hey, let's scroll back and just say PR position. What do you mean, a race? Are you tweets? They

went back and erased all the shit they felt like 9000 tweets. Yeah, probably all in two tweets less. It wasn't for offensive. He's like, these are just000 tweets. Yeah, probably all. And two tweets left. It wasn't for offensive. He's like, these are just not funny. That's right. I'll do that. Go on Africa. I don't love tweets. I mean, people have started to delete their Twitter accounts.

I can see it. Jay did. Jay did Louis gone. Louis did not because of backlash. Louis said it was just like too much of his time or something. No, he said because he wrote the most heinous shit he's ever said. He's ever written was on Twitter and he goes out there to the world

and I was like, this is stupid. He said they weren't thought out. They weren't like jokes like his special jokes, but they're all forever. Twitter is fucking ridiculous. It's done, I mean, for what it was, it was done. It should really honor. Look, I'm sorry, I get that these guys,

and I understand what they're doing. And it's socially, it's amazing what they did. It's a fucking shit thing. It's really shit. Be number one, because you can't really explain yourself. No, you only have a limited amount of space to do it. And it gives everybody the freedom just to attack you and the mentions, it's just a fucking shit thing.

It's really just a shit thing when you put it in. You're not supposed to talk to everybody. You're not supposed, you're fans, I believe, as a comic, I'm supposed to find you and look in the paper, look on the internet and find when you're gonna be in town and keep in touch with the comedy club and then come see you, do what you do,

meet you after the show, take a photo, there you go. We're not supposed to be in their lives 24 hours a day, every day, and who we go to their fucking town. And then they do a challenge. But you're always going to them, you're always. But we could, if we wanted, just not read our app replies. Just tweet and not read it with feedback. I don't tweet things I don't believe it

I don't say something and then it gets negative light I can always back it up I got tweeted a picture of Gremlin I was like Bruce Jenner's surgery went well Because he had money and then somebody was like are you saying that all broke transgender look like gremlins I was like anyone who can't afford cosmetic surgery he looks shitty. Yeah, it's like you run the risk higher of looking bad Yeah, you're saying all she shut up. I'm not saying all I Retweeted what she said and then I reply to that. I like the trainees are following you though God damn right is right you fucking I need all of that you bisexual a little black man. You don't make it I need to kill

My mom and you need the black audience. Now I know you're going to make money. Now we know who you took to Italy. Ha ha ha ha ha. That's it, mom, bro. What's up? I see. Fuck West just.

I want to go to my roast. I'll tell you to Italy. Ha ha ha ha. That's a classy shit. I thought you didn't want to do it black, man. You wanted to work to know why I got it? I'm not about race. I'm about class My roast doing good. He saw MTV 3 or 4 Just gotta eat your ass pussy. He could get up on the ass, but see be a quick shit That's another thing they jump on like okay

You're doing accents at some point they'll be like they jump on Amy for accents, too But they're like that's no longer acceptable three four years from now, but they think he's actually really I love Latino gay Coolest accents in the world Three and it's fucking hottest fucking gay ever Moises in her mind. She's not gay, she's a woman. She's a woman who likes guys, yeah, she's straight. Oh, really?

She's transgender, yeah. She's transgender. Hey, let me ask you a question. Yes, sir. You said that she got shit for doing accents. What was this? Same special. Same special.

Yeah. Wow. They were like, all she did was like, make jokes about just do a Cuban accent, we're all supposed to laugh at this. Where does Lisa Limpinelli fall on this? Well, where is she falling? She's not revered on that level of like the social warrior,

the social like, like right of wrongs, whereas Amy is. So they call somebody a fag or a black or a... They don't view hers anyone with respect. Larry, the cable guy can say whatever he wants because they're like, that's what we get out of you. So Zoom right there like you betrayed us really? Some of it but you think that they're not aware of it if you made them aware of it They would have couldn't you take something like that and go why you not attacking this like take they don't care

It's anything with Seinfeld saying I don't like colleges because of two PC and he gives an example of something his daughter said About peace about about sexism that's not sex and they're like they jumped on our Chris rock actually does do those jokes Seinfeld's clean as fuck Chris rock does the same comment a month or two earlier and they just don't even comment on him They call they call Seinfeld out of touch like diddy They say like he's he makes too many sexist jokes like based on what you can't find one He just saying your two PC. He defending his mic loritz made a point he's defending us the way John Denver defended the music industry and they're jumping on him

leaving Chris Rock alone so yes there's definitely a double standard of what they'll jump on who fits their demon on the flip side though just to play devil's advocate right that one down as a comic you got there has to be a line that you cross and you have to be aware of it or else what's edge You know you got to be able to say hey I went I went too far and you know I understand for you But for you but my too far is different than our issue far too far is by cause physical or monetary damage to someone right That's my own line that I make in my own. You make your own. And also, the line changes over time. So what you'll do in 2006 will look gross compared to today.

But I think, you know, I found that being vulnerable is edgy for me. Because I've me being talking about pussy, you're getting laid. That wasn't really me actually talking about love and emotion was edgy for me. So my edge was a way different thing. And some people don't like it. Like what the fuck you fucking queen? You know what I mean? I heard Dia said that when Norton really got the industries

like attention was going into Montreal and told a story about fucking a tranny. And everyone was like, oh fuck, this guy's legit. Yeah, that's edgy. Yeah, that's real. Yeah, at the time it was like what now would be like okay you know people are doing that these days yeah yeah but like then it's like wow no one said this but can't he owns that better than anybody sure does doesn't give a fuck and it's a perfect example nobody

cares yeah when you own it when you try to hide it and he buys it he rents it he rents it He buys it. He rents it. He rents it. And they won't jump on them about victimizing prostitutes because like, wow, those prostitutes that you're fucking at least share like more homo-friendly. So we'll leave that alone. Oh, it's true. You know, a Russian girl or a massage parlour is, you know, these girls are slaves and

blah, blah, blah. But, you know, a trainee and, you know, I'm on, you know, Brooklyn girls are slaves and blah blah blah, but you know a trainee and you know, I'm on you know, Brooklyn or on Queens And your guard of 44th Street is crazy. What I'm sorry. I was just giving There's no street anymore. Her name is from man. What if I got offended by that Bobby? So insensitive Those girls are on backpages now I get nervous man. I get nervous because I sometimes I don't know Those girls are on backpages now. They got abs. I get nervous, man.

I get nervous because I sometimes I don't know, I have to be very careful at this stage of my life because I'm going to be on TV. And I sometimes I see things and I don't know where I stand on it. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh fuck. I think you're finally. So what they want is, when I was on O and A, when I was on O and A back in the day when I first got on that show, I would say a

lot of shit. Did I? I would leave feeling like, what the fuck? I don't believe that. What the fuck did I say that for? Why was I involved in that? And I just did it because I got caught up in the whatever the fuck thing that was where you were just trying to be funny, trying to fit in, and I would even go,

I feel like shit. And then you grew. And then you grew, but now it's like, they wanna like vilify you and say you should never work again, ever. You know, like, when people say like, that went too far, it's like, yeah, but it comes from the same place

as the things that didn't go too far. Right. I don't know. So it's like, you're saying you wouldn't do that again. It's like, no, if I do that, I get five out of six jokes that are fucking make my career. And you're saying because of the one that got me in trouble, I'm still ahead.

It's like, tellin' Koby, don't fucking take a shot because you missed three in a row. It's like, I went 12 or 25. Debbie, if you tell a racist joke that works, you're actually helping racism. Yeah, you're actually helping people feel comfortable and laugh together about something that we all feel in a room.

So it's a fucking Jewish guy telling a Spanish black white Greek or a Thai. A garbage person. A joke and we're all going to look at each other. That's funny. That's true. That made us all laugh. That's great. Good for you. But here's the deal. If you made some amazing joke that brought people

together racially, there's some comic who's starting today that sees all these apologies and these blog posts and these like, you're into your career, let's call for your job. He's not gonna enter into making that amazing joke. He said it's not worth it. I don't think that's something you taught. I think it's something in you.

I don't think being a comic, what we are, or what you are, or at least, I think it's something in you. Yeah, I don't think being a comic, what we are, or what you are, or at least what I think everything's rumours, I think it's in you. I don't think it's something that you don't. I know, but you don't have certain subject. Because I was taught. I remember I took a fucking comedy class for a week. And I was, I just left because I was sitting there

and they were telling me you have to do clean material. Don't say fuck, don't talk about sex. And I asked the guy, I go, hey, I'm 23. My life is about fucking. I fuck chicks, I love fucking, I love getting blow jobs. I swear all the time. So I'm supposed to talk about stuff that doesn't happen. I don't have it.

And he's like, well, if you want to get anywhere in the business, I was like, fuck you. And boy, was he right? That's what they told Rogan. They told Rogan, all the Boston comments told Rogan, you got to be clean if you want to make it. And then he said he went back that he was emceeing for those features. And then later he was back headlining and they were still featuring. Well, that's the greatest thing about Rogan that I saw on his half-hour MTV half-hour. He had a joke in the first time I ever saw it on regular TV about getting a blowjob and he found a way to to say it to do it and I was like

that is the greatest fucking joke ever. He talked about how much pressure can you apply. You're just sitting there she's kissing you think and then she gets down to your belly button all she'll're thinking is how much pressure can I apply on the top of her head to get her down to my you know what I mean and I was like wow that's it yeah archer back to yeah yeah towards her I remember that joke so it's we've all done that though that's what's so funny about it yeah but here's the thing is that I think but now people will be like you mean pressure on the back of her head that's rape are

you saying rape is okay yeah I think that's I so I think that's a little too far I don't think someone would people will do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, if it was slightly less skillful with his word choice And yes, they will so we have if you were famous enough they would work in our mouths. We have to just Not accept it. It's okay guys you guys, you guys are just, you're just a fucking, you're like a YouTube comment. Just because you have a blog, you're just one guy. You just have to ignore it. If I get a 95% approval rating, that's a really high percentage.

But that means, a five out of a hundred will hate me. Yeah, well that's, that's actually fair. That's actually fair. That's, I mean, it's fantastic numbers. Yeah, it's amazing numbers. I don't have those numbers. But if I did, I'm not gonna focus on the five, go, I don't like you. Well, you gotta amazing. I don't have those numbers, but if I did I'm not gonna focus on the five go I don't like you

Just don't come call people garbage people well Dad he won't budge on he won't budge on that. Yeah, you get a try as well. I knew before you call him Mexican probably made it and probably made it. That's fucking true. There is no Italian in a kitchen anymore. No, they're all front with the menus under the wrong pit. How many? Don't, all right, come on in.

Hey, Don Zalas, get these two people some bread. All right, man, we're going to wrap this up. This has been a fucking eating show. That is fun. All right, let's go around the room. Let's go this way. We're not even gonna plug with. We're gonna plug you last.

And we're gonna plug you last. We're gonna plug you last. This way, don't go. I got this. I've done this before. All right. Cool. What do we got, Deepo?

I think I want to put this one out first. This was a good one. This one I want to put out first. This one's going out next to you. For the daytime one. Well, we did two today because I'm not around next week. So, well, if that's the case, I got to show August 9th at Friddy's in Park Slope. Big time, baby. Yeah, Park Slope. Yannis is training grounds. Right? Well, I'd bar up there. Yeah, and I used to have a room there as well. Yep, so I'll be there if you want

to check that out. And thank you Ari for saying everything I've ever wanted to say about a talent. Is that your show? Can I drop by and do a sex? It's not my show, but I'm sure I'll look the last the host for you. Cool. You know the park's you like you send the same stuff about Indians? Well, he didn't say it here, so it's working for me. And make sure if you guys have a room or something like that

Deep who you know make it sound so desperate. No, but it's the hardest thing in the world to get new spots Is a new comment and that's all we need it is tough first of all go fuck yourself now, okay? How's that go fuck yourself and do your own fucking thing Jesus Christ? I'm actually trying to help to get out I'm gonna help him just but it doesn't matter You weren't saying now do your own thing too much Right are we going the right now? Yeah, right there. Go fucking get your own gigs deep. Oh, I'm doing that already. All right Go for a cow. All right. What do you got scope?

I'm gonna make it a scope. Oh, if he can help scope on at all. I take anything take anything I'll do it pizzeria My going are you doing in first? Yeah July 31st August 1st in my uncle Vinnie's usually saved me for last by the way I had to read your dates. Yeah we're gonna do mine at the end. Thank you. Okay we'll then go back to and find me on Twitter at Chris Gopo. Okay great. What do you got Marrow? I'm in the city for most of July so just I'll be up to Salar and to stand and then to just follow me on Twitter, my room Martin, Twitter, yeah. So yeah.

Yeah. Alright buddy thanks for coming on I love when you come on buddy. Thank you sir. Well you got Ari besides a fucking temper. I'm gonna be in Washington DC in the new legalized city of Washington DC where Potts legal to smoke recreationally and I will be at the Italians Federation. July 17th to the 19th of the improv and then I'll be at Montreal and I'll be at the Italian's Federation. July 17th to the 19th of the improv and then I'll be at Montreal and I'll be at Edinburgh during my story tell show at Edinburgh.

He's going in at a burrow? First time, yeah, all of August. Should be interesting. I'll try to break into one night's of head. You guys get sponsors? No. You still to yourself? I'm going to be the sponsor. I'm going to be the sponsor. It's Paisons of Lawneux.

So you're going to be the for a whole month? Uh-huh. Wow. Yes, my name is Paisons of Lawney. So you're gonna be there for a whole month. Uh-huh. Wow, so it's crazy. And you're going to, we're doing the Montreal 42, right? Toronto. Toronto, yeah, in September. Yeah, they fucking promote you. Yeah, you know.

Fucking posters. I swear to God, I get fucked on posters. I look at the poster, Ari, boom, boom, boom. If the headline is burr and whoever, right? I'm on there. No, you're, then they have, then they have, you know, Ari and a bunch of guys. Bum bum bum bum. If the headline is burr and whoever right I'm on there. No you didn't have Then they have you know Ari and a bunch of guys and then underneath that And fucking five point hell Vedica

Bobby Kelly I'm fucking believe Robert Kelly I don't have Bobby. That's why I don't even get I don't even fuck it's like Well if you worked clean like him maybe you'd get I actually look at you your this podcast You know what dude and pretty much your draw and I'm like that's about what I've got Numbers for for downloads and also for draw so when I consider like where you play. I'm like I'm even with Bobby Kelly Yeah, I think I think me and you would be a great tour I think where you are I could be I always mention your name

I mentioned Janice name But you know, but I look on the fucking poster. I am of I mean they do this at every fucking poster I look on the post you I'm look I'm sitting moon tower. I'm looking. I'm like where I'm I'm not on it I'm just not even on it. I know you're on it. Yeah I'm like, where am I? I'm not on it. I'm just not even on it. I know you're on it. Yeah.

I know you're on it. And then it's like, I'm like, you invite me to this fucking thing. You're gonna get out of it. I mean, it's like, okay, I have a successful podcast. I've done your shows at Montreal. I've done 30 of them. Yeah.

I've always done fucking well. I've been to Toronto on my own a bunch of times. I've been with you. And then you put me on this fucking poster. You been with me? No, with them, I'm talking about that. And you're not talking to you. I'm talking to you. I'm gonna be honest, it fucking bothers me.

It bothers me that somebody that thinks, we'll just put him at the bottom. Somebody. Let's say what we really feel. It's fucking weird. Jews. Robbie Brown. I don't know.

I look, you know what? And it's like, okay, fuck it. you're a robber. I'm not a robber. I don't know. You know what? And it's like, okay, fuck it. All right, there you go. At least I know where you, I guess, where they have me. I guess that's where they have me is, I guess that's it. Maybe that is it.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe in my head, I think I'm a little, I can do a little better. Maybe I'm wrong. But if you don't promote something in the right way, how do you sell it? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't promote something in the right way, how do you sell it? Yeah, yeah, so I don't get it anyways. I look at where I am on those lists too and I'm like, what that person's out of me?

I don't care about who's ahead of me, just don't put me at the, I don't, I really truly don't believe I'm at the bottom of it. I don't believe people who've been doing comedy for six years. I've been doing it for 25 years. It's like you, Carmen Esposito. I have a fucking TV show on FX. I've been on Louis fucking, I don't, I don't, I don't, you're own hour special.

I don't understand. I really, it doesn't make it, at this point, it's just, you wanna call me Yala, how dog eating content. Here's a bet that one for the guys. For the road, buddy. I gotta help. I like it.

I like it. I'm sorry, I like it. I'm sorry, I like it. I actually liked it. It was that I liked it. That was for the road buddy I actually liked it You like it when you're on stage to mop your brow I Yeah, that was fucking Pop people love mom in their breath Derek Gage I don't sweat You're not high energy though. No, you're not high energy Derek is like god damn fucking bed bath and beyond towel and it's back pocket It's a great boy on it. How has the name oh really?

What do you got, Janice? I got a show called Two Point Lead. That Bobby's gonna be in a sketch that I hope this airs when's his airing. Well, Janice has a show on aol.com. Hell yeah. Every day at two o'clock. Every day two o'clock.

He comes out with a new skit. And his skits, now listen, I have a funny time. How many times is it? Is it Moisés? Moisés Zaloo? No, you're a character. No. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no He of course he called me. I got this thing. I'll do I'll do it. I love you. I don't care. I didn't even read it I was like fuck it. Let's go sent it to me. I'm like oh my god. This is funny when did it? It was hilarious

We fucking the writers were there they we we all kept adding shit to it It was really fucking funny and then I watched the other ones Michael Rapp report did want it's He's show is really funny. It's a fucking funny two point lead two point lead as and it's in it's in's show is really funny it's a fucking funny two point lead to point lead as and it's in it's in the parameters of sports sports so it's not even like they can sports fan come on there there's more regiment to make sports it's funny can be hard but you you got to be up to date with and the one we did was a game of thrones awesome um parody. And he's red sucks. It's coming out Thursday at two o'clock. So go to go to airwell.com or my Twitter. Hopefully you'll reposite. Of course I will.

My fan page. It'll be everywhere. Hopefully. Uh, we'll go check it out. It's actually a real funny one. Uh, and in Yannis is hilarious in it. Fucking. Thank you for being in it, man. Absolutely. That's cool. Um, and what else you got,'all know that's it man I just want to emphasize that right now all right check it out and my dates what we got we got Bobby will be July 17th 18 19th you're gonna be 16 17th 18th start got them comedy club 24 25th he's in Springfield New Jersey at comedy co I thought I went over this with I know I that's why I did at the end bohemia Belmore I fucked it up in the middle of it yeah bohemia belmore

bobby's coming there governors city first let people take note then you get them with the day i do it again so i've heard new york city got them coming to call people right now with your voice your garbage voice yeah fucking garbage people fucking springfield new jersey Jersey. Bob is gonna be at the comedy co. Bohemia, Belmore, Governors. He always going to Utah with the fucking Mormons.

50 West Club. This is Christy's, yeah. Yeah, Mormons, can you not fucking ruin my fucking- Poppin' Plains to Jersey. Hey, hey, hey, garbage asshole, Tommy, I'm reading it, Bobby. I'm reading it. Read it, regular. Did you say some of my mother? Don't forget Nashville the end of the month July we got up the schedule

Now I'm gonna be at Zane's for the first time in a long time best balcony and comedy what best balcony and comedy really Low low ceiling so the overall ceilings don't get super high So when you're in the balcony it's like right above your head so those normal levels of ceilings throughout balcony level low Well, I'm probably not gonna fill though, so I'm hoping I'm hoping that people will come maybe rob maybe they haven't be right on that poster But yeah, be a Nashville those dates will be updated and most importantly July 16th 10 o'clock FX and most importantly, July 16th, 10 o'clock, FX, premieres the pilot episode of Sex Drugs and Rock'n'Roll. So make sure you set your T-Vos,

your whatever the fuck your DVRs to record every week. And, not this my wife, hang on. Baby, you're on the show, what's up, you okay? Yeah, it's just checking in, I didn't know what's happening, you're coming home. No What's up? You okay? Yeah, I was just checking in there. I didn't know what's on you coming home. No big deal. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. All right, you're whispering. Why are you whispering in our house to somebody with you?

No, because we have a baby and that's really pretty soon. I don't know to be allowed like a man. That's what they all say. All right, Bob, I love you. I'll be home soon. Okay. Bye. I love you too, maybe. Fuck. And Barrett's me. What are you fucking hanging with D-Poo? You and the future locks are you later.

Alright, bye, baby. Bye. That made my heart heart. Alright, guys. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. Make sure you follow these guys on Twitter. Make sure you go to the show's live. Tell them you heard them on the YKWD. You know what, dude, podcasts.

We'll see you guys next week. You know what, dude. Check out RiotCast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Check out RiotCast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Check out RiotCast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet.

And they're all free. And they're all free. Check out RiotCast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. And they're all free. Check out RiotCast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free.

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