Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - On the Road

Episode Date: December 26, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Stavros Halkias, Umar Khan, Jason Weems, Valance Michael, and Brian (a.k.a. @ComedyArtwork)! (Recorded on the road) We talk about growing up in Baltimore, staring at a gay clown, and the time Bobby had to decide if he was a home-boy or a white-boy! Listen and enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a claustrophic. It's a podcast, no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it. Can I get a microphone? Oh, that's a fuck.

That was trying to keep her like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin I want to do you think my podcast is popular enough. I might affect somebody's life. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com. All right, what's up? This is a special episode of You Know What Dude from... No, I did.

From wherever the fuck in Montaumonium. Shitty ass name, ever. Mugumi's Comedy Club on the road. I promise you, fuckers, that I'm gonna Tumonium. Shitty as name ever. Mugumi's comedy club on the road. I promise you, fuckers, that I'm gonna start doing these on the road, getting comics, you don't get a chance to hear, and people, you don't get to hear, who don't live in New York. This could go horribly wrong.

I don't think it is. We were actually talking before the show, and it was pretty Pretty spicy Spirit I said spicy because he's Indian Ruma So let's let's go around the room counterclockwise and introduce yourself to everybody You first I'm umar Khan great fucking Star Trek name That's a great name. I'm not Indian, I'm Pakistani.

Yeah, I know, but for my fans, you're Indian. Oh, okay. I want them to be. For my whole audience. I want them to give you a shot. Okay. Right. Shoot yourself in a flick.

Yeah, I got a couple of blind guys on. You're Indian on this one, okay? I can't overload them. Two black guys in a Pakistani. What the fuck? In a liberal? Ardu's next. I'm not a comic.

You're not a comic, but. But I love comics and I kind of do some things for them. My name is Brian. Yeah. But most people on Twitter or wherever Instagram may know me as the comedy artwork guy. Yes, comedy artwork, which is one of my favorite artists. I'm everybody knows on my show.

I love art. I love artists. I love comic book artists. I love, especially artists who are into comedy. And your stuff, your artist, caught my eye for a little but I always loved it. You finally did one from my tour with me in Star Rose. From I think, I don't know how to sketch

I need to finish it up. Yeah, God. I love it. I was the incredible. It was great And I kind of want to get into that after we introduce everybody because I find it fascinating when two things mix, you know Like when rock and roll mix with comedy or art mix with comedy, I hate when spoken word mix with comedy. I really want to fucking throw up in my shoe. All right, who do we got next? I want his balance. My Jesus Christ. Just so hot.

Thank you. No, your microphone is really loud. God, you got that deep voice, dude. Just today. Yeah, oh really? Just today. Yeah. Oh really just today Yeah, really you're putting on smooth jazz Bass man, that's a white thing Yeah, I thought that's a white people no lyrics because people associated with canning G Right No, no lyrics. That's because people associate with Kenny G. Right. That's the only smooth jazz guy in the world.

That's only okay. Got you. What's your name, dude? Valence Michael. Valence. Valence Michael. What? It was your little... Presley. Why didn't you go with the whole thing? I did. I just... I didn't want you to be like... fucking say a paragraph.

There's a describe yourself. Valence Michael Presley. I mean, it's such a great name. You have val... Yo, what's up? Give it up for Valence, Michael Pressley. That sounds cool as shit. That's what every black guy's been trying to create. Earthquake, thunder.

You guys been trying to get fat type of name. For so long, I mean, Valence, Michael, you could just say Valence. It's sexy. You could just chop it off and go yo give it up for valence You gotta put the D.A. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that at all. Why? Well low-valence It's like there's the whole not before comedy valence the black guy Comedian, did you really have that no? No. Well, you're a big boy. You're a big kid, man.

Thank you. Yeah, what do you do? But you're a nerd, too, which is funny. I heard that a lot. You're a fucking nerd, and you're a big kid. You can really hurt somebody. I can see it by your shoulder blades, right? I'm not a fighter at all.

But it's a weird, yeah, you are weird. Well, good pusher. I'll push the shit out of you. It's all a takes win. It is. I'll push up against a wall somewhere, but I'm out of fighter at all. But it's a weird, yeah, you are weird. We're good pusher. I push a shit out of you. It's all a taste, man. It is. I push up against a wall somewhere. I love it. I love a nice push fight. I'm a fuck you, no fuck you.

So fuck you. Yeah, they're just different inflections of fuck you. No fuck you, right? Me fuck you. Yeah. I know. I'm a fuck you. Hopefully someone comes to bring it up. I'm an out of balance. Pushers people, and he starts looking around I Pushes people he starts looking around hoping a balancer comes

I guess a great biggy impression to let me hear it. Oh, I'm not an easily today Just sounds like me jerking off. I can do that. Oh, oh, like eating donuts and coming How does it go? Oh Do you have to do the at the beginning? Yeah, oh Okay, good Green juice juice. All right, let's get back. Let's get. Let's move. Let's see. I was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He said you up. He did. He did. I'm sorry. For Philly. All right. Let's go. I'm Jason Williams, the born and raised Baltimore, Maryland. And yeah, he's proud of that.

I am. Very good. Man. Yeah. I like that. I like when people are proud of where they come from. Absolutely. Most comics are like, dude, I get to get out of here. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. That's good, man. That's good Uh, and of course we have Stavros Halkius Who's my little baby boy my buddy? Well, not for me Your portion Tim Dylan's raring up Tim Dylan's raring up. I do I love five let him that fuck better than hearing about your fucking Bernie Sanders horse shit

People you have to respect everybody the victims are the victims dude You okay, I was gonna say you're on full modates. Now that's a good thing to be involved. Now it makes me so. Here's the deal. If I was doing like a huge arena tour, I would literally put the money in front of you to give up your values. I would literally give you that option. I don't know, I'd have to negotiate, but you'd have to wear a trump shirt or hat. No, but you'd have to wear it in pride. Like you'd walk up with a flag. You'd walk up with a flag and you're opening Joe We'd be like, yeah, we won. Fuck you. Deal with it.

So there's a lot of guys on the show today. Let's try not to talk over each other. It'll always happen But you guys seem to be all right Anyways, we're here in Baltimore. This club is fucking ridiculous in the light It's beautiful in the light at night When people don't show up. It's awful, but listen It just becomes a shitty open-micro but I know this is one of my favorite clubs to play Yeah, I mean it really is when I'm a clubs to play. I mean, it really is. When I'm in my first coming here,

I was like, what the fuck did I get myself into? But it's become one of my favorite clubs to play. But I- You should be a dinner theater, right? It used to be a dinner theater, but I've always been anxiety playing coming here. Because of the stage is very high. It's a big stage.

And the laughter goes up and goes away. So you never really can tell. How you're doing. So you have to like psychologically have to kind of gauge yourself and readjust your expectations in your head. And know that, okay, I'm looking at them, they're laughing. Not that I, because when I'm at the seller, dude, there's a rhythm you get into when that fucking

ceiling's low and that shit's popping. It's like, you're in that groove. And you know when to go, when not to go. But the laughs go up. You're almost like, did you guys get that? You're like, I'm seeing your laugh, but I'm not hearing it the way I'm used to hearing it. That pop, you know what I mean?

But I do, I love this room. And it's always, it makes crowd. I always get a table of black people that have no idea who I am. But then laughing and laughing. But when they leave, they're like, you were real funny man. Are you a funny mom, funny?

Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, funny mom, the funny. Oh. What we were talking about that before is that I really believe that black people have the best sense of humor.

They've been through so much tragedy. They've been through so much. Because we were talking about this, the clip of the teacher, right? What would explain that? There was a Baltimore CD teacher, she was a South African, a white South African. You have to say that. You got to be out of it. A white South African, she got mad at her students.

They were like not listening to her. Can you not say white? Like it's a bad thing. Like you're saying the N word? Because I'm white and I'm actually proud to be white. She was a dumb man. She was a dumb man. She was not that proud.

I don't want to raise my hand proud. I'll keep my hand. She was an Aryan South African. Yeah, he's the way he said what? She was white. She was a white. She was sent here to make America a great again. No, she was stressed. She was a teacher. She was a teacher. Her kids weren't listening and she yelled

She yelled something like if you know you guys don't come to school. You don't listen. You're gonna end up another Do you want to say it? Yeah, that's something you guys say it Can you? Yeah, well, what's the other? Let's only go say it You say it Negotiations I just can't say it because I you know I'm developing a TV show and I don't want this I don't want them to take this out of So in this day they'd be like you they just stay play that clip He's Development wants to see you

And then they edited the clip of how like a walk about walking out like a Trump shirt. Well, here's what happened. The teacher lost it. She lost it. It's a rough school. The kids weren't listening. And she lost control.

And sometimes you think to get, because I work with's, and look, they don't listen sometimes. I was a juvenile. And if you showed any weakness at all, you're done. And she showed weakness by, she pushed it and you'll listen to me or what? Oh, and they said, oh, what? And she had no or what.

And she had no outs, like that. Except for the N word, right? Right. She said get out. Nobody loves. Nobody loves. But she exactly. So she thought she was going to shock him. Right.

And you know, you think that's what I think she just was talking. Oh, you I think she just lost it. Like you can tell that she was like just in a threshold going nuts. And she was in a rage. Think about what she said. I think she was coming from a good place when she just like, I don't want you kids be another nigger shot in the corner

No, I agree right she just said it. It was worth love Hey, but what's a different way of saying that a Different like a like a more PC way of saying that You're gonna end up another African American in the grave You're gonna end up another African American in the grave You're gonna end up like your forefather Your brother's brother's father Don't end up like Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy I like Jimmy that the Marcus was to you know you know

Top you're reaching it that point Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Quarrius Fuck is the query I was like a black guy named Scott It's just funnier can't trust him. He'd be agent You got a tear shirt on Oh the fuck it's when why What the fuck is winn'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n' is the, the, this lady's snap, she loses it. She says that and lost her job. Lost her job.

Now only your job, her teaching license. But right after, this is why even the black kids, when she said it, they laughed. Yeah. Good as in, white kids would have been like, oh my God, black kids were like, what the fuck did you just say? It's like, I remember watching Star Wars at the latest one and when Han Solo got killed

Only black people in the audience would ha ha that's what you get Should a kiss lay instead of giving her a hug you piece of shit They it's like there's this sense of humor you it black people have such great senses of humor man if it's funny They're laughing because we see worse like you could say some funny shit that's fucked up, but there's nothing more fucked up than our actual lies sometimes. So it's like, I'm gonna laugh at whatever goofy shit you come up. Yeah, right. Balance. Remember the thing that happened? You have that show. It's called, um, unarmed comedy. Unarmed comedy. Because the premise of this show is you can't use any,

you can't use material. You have to come up with all new stuff. So it's called unarmed comedy and the poster was a black I have this hand is not called improv I love that you just reinvented It's called crowd work and it's gonna see so by J. I open my should be but nobody does you really think that? What that an open mic should be, but nobody does it. Do you really think that? What? That an open mic should be just improvisation? No, improvisation? It should come from somewhere, but it should come from somewhere. But you know, I pose that question to you in an aggressive way.

It's just my nature. I really do have to work on my tone, socks, and shit tone. I know tone is it, but I grew up with that, that's a boss in town. It's like, oh fuck yourself, what are you doing? You want ice cream or not? That's all right. Why are you being an asshole? I'm asking you on ice cream. I'm buying you ice cream. You fucking piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um anyways, I I mean that's an interesting thing that you say that not to get off too off topic, but it's interesting that I But it's interesting that I don't care that you don't care.

Are you two used to be in the fucking teachers office? The little then you guys have on a lot of you know, the teachers loud. Yeah. I just think that because open mic probably should be a place up where you just make shit up. We'll not make it up, but have a premise that you've never done. And fuck with it. And bomb and work through it or succeed. It's a better way to learn.

Especially, you know, you go to fucking open mics and it's just mostly comics anyway. You're going to do your fucking act in front of right if people already seen it So it's like that opportunity to just Yeah I think you should come prepared Yeah, but then just becomes a circle jerk like but I don't know like when when I go to DC and do a mic Like go to a place like big hunt and it's it's called an open mic, but it's pre booked There's like 60 70 sometimes 80 100 people in the audience. I'm not gonna fucking tank

I'm not gonna fucking go up and do new material. Why? I just want to ask you question though. That's like open mic though. Can I tell you? It doesn't open. It's book doesn't open. Yeah, but it's not an open mic. You're making it a show case because you're doing your best shit that you know works. Right. So if you're going up at an open mic, which is it should be a safe place,

and you're training the audience that this is where we do new shit. And bombing is OK. And if you come to the show, you're going to see people not do well. You're gonna see people, you're gonna experience magic, new shit happening in front of you. Yeah, you train the audience for that.

But most audiences, when you have a club and you start filling it, you wanna make that money. Yeah. And you start, now that's a paid gig, you probably get a couple bucks. The guy who runs it gets money. And now you wanna that's a paid gig, you probably get a couple bucks, the guy who runs it gets money, and now you wanna make it a good gig. It's not an open mic anymore, it's a fucking show,

it's an actual show. That's what more open mics, and I don't think I'm not the one that's, I don't believe in going up totally and just making shit up, because that can be an unhealthy habit. Because when your crowd work becomes better than your jokes, you're fucked.

Because then you're gonna be, everybody's gonna love you, you're always gonna kill, but you're gonna get, you can be stuck in that. And you can almost be two different comments. You can get, I had to throw up. I had to throw up. I had to throw up. Yeah, you had that problem.

I had that problem. Now, yeah, really. I got into a point, so my kids were born in 2011 and then 2013 and it was one of these situations where once they were born I wasn't going out as much so I wanted to be home for them right but I was still accepting paid work But I wouldn't want to go back to a club that I'd been at and do the same hour right so I would go up and start riffing And it was smashing so hard right that once I would try to transition back into an actual joke. Your jokes couldn't. It would be such a drop off.

Yeah. Even stop and they can say, I'll go up into an hour now. Yeah. And I'm just talking shit. Yeah, when you had learned my show, you just talked shit the whole hour. And the whole hour, yeah. Your crowd work, it was insane.

But so funny. Thank you. But now, see, that's a hard thing to get into because now, how do you transition? Because that happened to me too a long time ago, where, I can just dip into that crowd. And state it. I can dip in there and stay there, you, bang you.

And I had a way to, I could tie it all together. And the whole show. Oh, for sure. And then you walk out there like, that was the and like even your fans They're like dude what the fuck? It's like it was a lemonade. Yeah, but I Don't know is that is that bad? Is that because I think in the business there's no place for it? It's never make money off of it and even later as it goes

Club owner's gonna be like, look man, you know, because what if it doesn't go good? You can't, you have no options. Right, and it's one of these things where like, I have stuff to dive back into, but the energy just never matches up. It might be one of two jokes that hit as hard as that, but I mean, since it's like in real time, and I'm saying it for the first time,

so it's funny, it's shit to me. Right. They're feeling that energy for me. Yeah. So everybody's in that space and it's just like, you know, it's that man. That's a tough one, yeah. Because it's like, you have to make that decision, who am I going to be? Like what type of comic am I going to be?

Absolutely. Then are you going to be the guy who does crowd work? I mean, I'm telling you right now, people might come up to you, that was great. And you know, all you did in my whole show, but people are gonna be like, I fuck him. Because they know comics, know how hard it is to come up with a joke. Yeah.

And then they come up with a joke that kills. And then they come up with a 20 and then a half and an hour that is fucking killing on jokes. On your, you know, and then you go up and go, what's up motherfucker and oh nice shirt and then you just fucking annihilate it. You know what I mean it's uh... Oh absolutely.

That's a tough this is tough spot to be in. It is. You know I I used to tell him I used to I had to go back and learn how to tell a joke. And I think I found a way to meet with, they don't know if I'm fucking around. When I'm fucking off, when I'm dipping in, and when it's a joke, and when I made it up. You know, maybe that's seamless.

Maybe that's seamless, maybe that's what you gotta do. And that is going to that open mic and sit in your jokes. Oh for sure. And keeping your fucking mouth shut. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's when I forced myself to not touch the crowd. Yeah, you should do that.

And if it sucks, it just does. Yeah. But then I'll make a joke about how bad it went. Right. And then that pops. Yeah. And then sometimes that somehow turns into an actual joke. Right.

It's a way to how that always works. Yeah. You acknowledge and you just fail a little bit. Well, it's psychological shit, man. It's you. You just telling, they're sitting there going, oh, boy, and you go, ah, suck a dick. I don't know. That one sucked. And though, thank you so much.

I mean, that's the essence of what we do. Yeah. Provide. Is well, yeah, we're telling them what they think, but can't say. Absolutely. And we're saying it for them. You at our expense sometimes, you know. So anyways, this, go back to this lady. I, you say she should be fired. I

Mean I think if you are a parent and you send your kids. I am a parent I'm are you a parent in Baltimore city, and I'm a parent. I have I have the I have the luxury of having a Okay, a Lower school or the best school in the country. Yeah, literally here and here a couple blocks away from each other. So I have to make that decision soon. Yeah, but this is, I mean Baltimore City Schools are just way different. Is it really?

Yeah, I work in the school system. Like it's intense and it's really bad. Yeah, the first day my brother went to middle school. He was, he was a fifth grader based. He's a number of people who come back from Greece. And some kid, you always got to get Greece in there, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's like, hey, yo, I like your pants. He was like, thank you, he was like, give me your pants.

And then my brother had to run. Some guy tried to rob him of his pants. I was the first day of his school. I mean, I know the kid. Yeah, I know the kid was 17, but he was like a remedial. But he could have you fit the pants, right? Yeah, he just wanted to steal. But in other words, he got stabbed for Pokemon cards.

Right. I can see that. I had to teach her about a kid to my office, and I had to counsel him. I was like, yeah, what do you do? And he was like, yeah, he just keeps calling kids' faggots. A second creator. Yeah, but was he in a room full of,

was he like a knitting class with all men? Good work, honey. Yeah, he was in a knitting class. No way. So then I'm talking to him. I'm counsel. I'm like, hey, so come on man. What's going on? Like yeah, and I was like, why why are you calling? Why are you calling this kid a fact? He's like because he keeps cussing like that

with his parents. He's wearing yeah, and he doesn't like when people Because it's sweet. I'm not to swear, but because I call them a bag. It's called everyone faggets all the time. It's not as parents Is dad is the mom mom's I'll go fat mom's not as parents as dad. The moms are go fat. Moms are go look at that. Yeah, they do. I hear it in my school. I will. The joke would be a literal fucking analysis

in the pie chart. You have you. Cunts would be they do. They hear it in the school. But good. You do your thing. I'll do my thing. They fight in all day.

But you know, you know, a season of the wire that really fought into the school system? Yeah. My teacher, Edward Burns, is a writer on that show. Okay, it was. It was a writer on the show. And he was my teacher when I was in middle school. Right. So a lot of the shit he wrote in there was really fucking hard for you.

There was a scene where this girl got a cheeks sliced. Yep And I was in the school at that time Joker was hang on one second let that die. I don't have the bomb. Oh, no, we have it. Here's the hat put the hat on You tried to joke and it bombed you fucking Sorry, yeah, you tried a joke and it bombed you fucking I like it what she did you fucking artisidil comic I'm like it was even seen my comedy but he gets it just spot on yeah I'm the lunchables of comedy. Yeah, man. Here's a deal Shitty face and try to joke

Just cuz your friends are here. I'm not joke. This is what it comes in. And just because you're friends in here, I'm not letting you get away with it. Because my fans are listening, okay? What's up? Keep talking. That was so interesting. You was about to tell us a real story about the wire, one of my favorite shows ever.

And what was the joke? Just tell me one more time. Just tell me. Just tell me. I'm not. I'm not. Right. The old old. Janet just tell me one more time Right don't okay, you've learned grass up up right you will go on your way now put the mic down That's fucking funny look at him get aggressive, so I've learned the fuck you you quark saga All right, what do you got now is like this build up for my story to be interesting, but that was pretty much it Nothing else

Like I mean, I mean was saying like the kids even though the experience all this crazy shit They are the funniest fucking tell them what the kids said to you about your head crazy shit they are the funniest fucking telling what the kids said to you about your hate so many things well I want to tell this girl I was counting yeah I was counseling this girl and she was like you look gay oh yeah and I'm sorry I asked her she's a ninth grader I like, what about me looks gay and she just goes, you little. You little. Oh, yeah, I was working with this kid and he was like, you know what, man, your head,

your head shaped like a box in Newport. Oh, the specificity of this kid is wonderful. But then I tried to come back at him him like I wanted to make fun of him And he was like no you taking too long and then you just laughed Yeah, I thought yeah, I thought I can't go on with it for 10 years before his own God damn it you headless and a box a new school It means everything It's one of the for just your little fuckers square You had a box a new for Everything It's one of the fidget you a little fuck is square

We had we had this really skinny as a lady older like substitute me. It's totally should look like a lit cigarette I don't know what it is about these kids and cigarettes It's right there, well, it's it is funny that I really believe that urban schools or kids who go through crazy shit. I mean, I myself, when I found comedy, because I was never, I hung out with a lot of tough guys. And I beat up a lot, and I fought, but I never liked it. And I found my way out in Juve Hall.

And I found my way to make friends with the black kids and the Spanish kids, the tough kids. I'll just say even the white tough kids, the way to fit in for me was fucking being funny. You were. Yeah, I would make people laugh. Your mama jokes. What's that?

Your mama jokes? Oh no. No, I tell you, I told the story before but I remember I was in it was called there was good juvenile homes as bad ones okay one of the bad ones was Halifax and it was down at old Jewish camp they took over and made a juvenile lockup. There was one road in surrounded by cranberry box, so you couldn't get out. Right. And it was bad. And you know, the kids, it was mostly black kids. There was four white kids and they decided to fucking beat up all the white kids one day. Right.

Right. People wanted a mother fucker. He's a mother fucker. Well, we'll play an indoor basketball and it was low ceiling. So it was like this low hoop you used to dunk on. And you played New York ball, which would you elbow in and punch in and kick in to get that in. And he, there's one kid. They took, they just, as soon as the staff wasn't looking, they took all the basketballs and threw it at this one kid. At the other

In the court just playing he was just You saw flip flip flip flip like a gun and it's one nose pan. Just nose just pop blood Oh, and I just looked away, you know what I mean? I think I was making a bracelet or something I was doing gimp bracelet or something. I was just doing gimp. Yeah. I'm not that kid. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Keep trying to so I'll just make sure. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make sure to fit your with the conference.

Getting a second grader called him a fact. Look at this. Faggot. He's the one. So late. You digging his family history. He did. He probably deserved it. Well, the other kid, Jesus Christ.

Black lives really funny. Telling it like it is. Stop, do Black lives matter or all lives? I don't know about how many more things do you have? All lives matter. I'm leaning all on this one. Well, they... All lives matter.

Show them. They get to Oakland, it's local and right. They, uh, they, uh, so they beat up another kid. They didn't beat up the, there was a big white kid. They didn't fuck with rock and roll dude. They left him alone, but they came in to get me at, uh, I was in my room reading and I shared a room with two other black kids, but the little guy was a little tiny black kid they called the Godfather.

I swear to God, there was a Godfather. He ran the fucking joint. Nice, this little mother fight. He was like, he was like Floyd Mayweather energy. You know what I mean? Well, he rhymed and shitted. Yeah, the money to him, right? And they came into the room and I'm reading on my bed.

And he sat down next to me on my bed. Another guy sat on the, they ghosted me and just were talking about white people. And they're like, fuck that white mother. We splatted that mother, fuck his nose, right? That homeboy bitch mother. And I was just reading my book on how to make bracelets or whatever. The alchemist. And what screams beat me up by the way.

He goes, yo, and then he goes that homeboy. And then he hits me, goes, yo, you homeboy, you homeboy, or white boy. And I, it was like 50, 50. In my head, I'm like, oh, pick this one. Right, stand up for your race. Oh, you fucking, you coward. And you, so I went, I'm a homeboy bitch.

Oh, man. Oh, man. He went, you a funny motherfucker. I like you. Never fucking me again. And then I just, I was, I was just like, you were funny motherfucker. I love you. Never fucked with me again. And then I just, I was, I was just like, get me out of here. Get me the fuck out of here. I can't respect. Well, he laughed.

Exactly. Exactly. And now I was like, you know, take yourself to serious asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You dodge the ass whooping today. I dodge the fucking hot one. No, but then I became friends with him. And then we, I got to hang with him and fucking you know they were they we kind of shot the shit

I got you because funny trumps everything It does yeah if you can be funny at trumps everything yeah Yeah, right? Like a way of you just look at reality. Yeah, I like you man. You a wild boy. Yeah, fuck get him some cranberries Just a pat a whole thing of everything in some your favorite whole thing. It's a whole bunch of... And some white glaze, soft drugs. Absolutely right. Oh, yo, I'm using your soft drug.

Yeah, yeah. And my cranberry. You got to sit at the table that gets free chocolate milks for everybody. Oh, for sure. We didn't have chocolate milks in Juve Hall. We didn't. I had water.

I know. Okay, maybe milk, I don't know. But that, it's weird because now here you are, Brian. Yeah. And comedy, somehow got into your life. I mean, how did we just a fan of comedy? I was a casual fan, you know, for years and years. Probably a little bit more, you know, but I love, you know,

this is the guys you see on TV, really getting a dash of penises. Yeah, well eventually. I got there eventually. I got there eventually. You will too. So I was a casual fan, just, you know, know commy central whoever's on oh, he's funny, but then you know as podcasts came around Right I'm not an opian Anthony and opian Jimmy and whatever they are now, right?

Bringing on all the seller guys, right kind of reintroduced me. Oh, that guy's funny. Let's see what he's like, right? um And so I was always kind of into comedy. I've been going to more shows recently that started the whole sort of business because I've only did it since maybe April. What do you do for work? What do you do for illustration?

So you do illustration. A whole other brand of work for magazines and newspapers and websites. So you're an illustrator, which I was actually, I took in college. I took illustration, typography, calligraphyy desktop publishing. I took all that shit in college That's I was kind of actually right when the remember the Mac Classic came out when they started doing it on computers. Yeah, I bought one and

I was fucking heavily into that side art because the paint that was gonna be an art teacher And but then that came into play I was like I'm just gonna go make flyers for fucking people. I mean you know all that shit I mean I sock dude I was I was I haven't because my stupid the this is my I remember I made a flyer for my friends company Uh his pizza place. I made a logo did all the stuff and I gave it to him and it said uh It was supposed to be a dollar off, Shrimps Campy Pizza. I wrote a dollar, I forgot to put off.

Dollar. He had to give away 50 shrimp's Campy pizzas, the opening day for a dollar. Right. And he goes, he calls me up. I'm like, yeah, I was expecting a accolade. He's like, you motherfuckers. He's here, I'm busy.

It was. Because he had him fly, he didn't spell check. And he just had this kid break them out. And he put them on all the cars at the courthouse. All these fucking people coming for a large shrimp's can we be? And I wrote mushrooms. I put fucking five hours.

I don't know. Like, you key Chris. You key Chris. I also did a cookie Chris. That was my key. That was my pain. Some are earlier work. That was my end of my illustration. But so you

do in this work and then who is the first comment here? Here's how it works. I bet it's Mark Marin. No, no, so okay, so you know I started Twitter account. I go all sort of a comedy account and kind of I have some you know some old portraits of comedians that I've done for magazines and so I'll kind of put some stuff up here do some sketches and do whatever. So I kind comedians that I've done for magazines, I've said, well, I'll kind of put some stuff up here, do some sketches, and do whatever. So I kind of do that. I think, all right, well, what's gonna get people to follow me?

I'll get Kamiar at work perfect. People know exactly what they're gonna get. Yeah. And this is before I was trying to do this stuff for anybody. So, I just wanna make an account, put some old portraits up. And then, again, this is probably April this year. Yeah. Joe Liss is coming to DC. All right, he's going to come into the big hunt, you know. Yeah, keep that again, this is probably April this year. Yeah, Joe this is coming to DC. All right, he's going to come into the big hunt, you know, keep that

mic in front of him out. Those stuff. Okay, no problem. Use your other hand to talk. Because he's we can't hear you in the first podcast. So I know, I know, I'm trying to help you. I don't want people to go, why is he in and out? They'll blame me. Don't you fucking shout stinks. The audio blows. I was really into what Brian was saying. You know, these black guys are, yeah, and get them to the back. He's talking about the where he is. The fucking pack of standing was screaming. So I'm a fan of Joe Lisk, obviously.

We all, you know Joe, for us. I talked to him today, he's fucking the most. And, so he was coming to DC. He's always depressed. Stop saying, aw, that's what he lives in. You all right,, you hate me? So he's coming to DC. He's coming to DC.

He's like, oh, I'm gonna make him flyer. Right. That's fun. I do one real quick. Yeah. Send it to him, you know, I mentioned him. He retweets it. Flood gates as far as immediately.

Two, three people. Wanna flyer, like, oh. Okay, good comics of bad comics well here's how it works I do stuff for the people I like yeah for whatever yeah and they retweet it in the bad comics the bad comics pay me to do some stuff to my tweet it's not that they don't know all the comics it's not that they're bad comics it's like look here's the deal there's comics that you like yeah exactly your

fans of that you'll you'll hook up a little bit. And there's comics that you don't know, or maybe you're not super fans of, but they're cool, that you'll charge them a nice fee. Yeah, that's okay. So it's comics I don't know per se. I do stuff for the guys I like. And then, it's a business.

But they end up hiring me. Yeah, for real. You know, yeah, I'm awesome. So Joe lists started it for me. Right. Joe list started if he started for him. It was my first sort of What I did you know excited. He's gonna use this as a credit. No, he doesn't care. No, buddy listen. He's gonna love it every He's gonna love it. You know why I shoulda helped him? I mean, I basically tried to do that. I started his career. I started this podcast. I mean, I had the first part, but when it got good.

Right. So from Joe, it turned into, I think my next officially, so I got that. I did that. It was fun. It got some response back. And Andy Fiori who's producer of Jay in a dance show

It's like I got a you know album release. I want you to fly. Oh, okay cool. So that was like my first real paid thing And you know, I'm not gonna create a band for Andy Andy Fiori okay, Vince. Yeah, it's the for Dan Because he came who's coming DC. Well, I'll do a thing where if you're coming to DC I did you poster I'm if I'm gonna see you at least, you know, buddy I tell you the one you did for Dan was amazing. Yeah, I thought the giant was fucking great. He was easy. He's like, all right, wrestling, WF, what am I gonna do?

But it's not easy. It's so funny that you think it's easy. But when you say, the reason why I love your work, the simplicity of it, I don't know what's a style called. This is a sort of... Vexer. Vexer, right. Yeah, it's like a flat style. It's one of my favorite styles of it. I don't know what's a style called. Vexer. Vexer. Right.

It's like a flat style. Yeah. It's one of my favorite styles of artwork. And yours is yours. Because some of them can be very similar in that style. But yours has it's your own little twin-john. It's almost, it has a little splash, a comic book. Yeah.

Well, that's what I grew up on. So I love it. And the one you did for Dan, you say a little splash, a comic book. Yeah, well, that's what I grew up on. So I love it. And the one you did for Dan, you say it's easy, but it's so perfect. Well, I do. It's so easy. But it's perfect. And it looks great.

You know what I mean? I mean, these are things that are going to go down. I mean, comics are associated with your artwork. That, the true story tour, the thing you did for us that apparently didn't finish it. I wish you could finish it. I know. I was, I wasn't. I don't have to like the fire under your ass. I mean, what am I? You manage your toe? Just fucking get on it. Spend fucking two more hours. I just fucking promoted it on my Instagram and Facebook. Well, Bobby, I'll be happy to know I'm working with addicted to laughter. Yeah, okay. I'm doing your poster

What I'm doing your poster your charity charity thing next year Erick Taylor you know him. No, what am I doing? You're doing something for me. Anyway, I got you You're gonna have a finished poster. You're gonna have a finished poster. I'm on a charity. You're doing something Boston. I Am yes, that thing. Oh You're doing something Boston. I am yes that thing. Oh Oh, the addictedly laughter addicted the laughter yeah I'm telling you I think somebody booked me on something I've been talking I've been a talk to him It's got to get off of a gig. I'm gonna be in a con x you. Yeah, I am looking for a Connicks you. Yeah, I am looking for a a new logo for the podcast. Hey, so I'll hook you up We're looking for something because the logo we have now is cool, but we're looking for a new thing

What's that? No, no, no, I didn't need some more space. Oh, yeah, yeah put that on You read it at head I'm waiting to get rid of that head Absolutely, I'm new and I'm nervous Don't be nervous Before we started the podcast, Bobby was yelling at me Was I? Yeah, you were, well, we were yelling at each other Yeah, Seattle Mutual

Seattle hate victims Right I hate him when they just go he's yelling at me Not immigrants I love immigrants It's wrong probably you. Why would you say that? I was born here. All right. I don't look like it, but I was born here. Listen man You look more you look as American as anybody else. Thank you Talk as American as anybody else on the radio radio you're just as American as Brian in person you're the town I know everyone thinks you guys are being racist like why do they keep on this white dude a pack of things?

Yeah You do really sound White I was born here, but this isn't my first language. What is your first language or do that's what they say? Can you speak a little of that? I actually can I forgot it because I used to be so embarrassed of speaking I was born here, but this isn't my first language. What is your first language? Or do. That's what they say. Can you speak a little of that? I actually can, I forgot it. Because I used to be so embarrassed of speaking in it.

We order somebody turkey bravo. And I stop speaking in it. What did you say? I said we order enough turkey bravo. So just get it. Yeah, accent just leaves here. What the f- no! No goota!

What is it? What is a turkey bravo? A panera sandwich. Should we give him this or no? Do I hold onto this? No, on to this? No, that was a good one. I'm not accepting it I hit you with a specific cheese Fuck that No, anything's not very good speaking or do I grew speaking or do and I remember I started like Preschool kindergarten I could barely speak English, right and they were like yeah, you got a you got a sound speaking Urdu

And just speak English at home and then Kids would make fun of me. Yeah, and so I just got nervous and I Made funny I don't know just like it like you know Like what are your parents? It sounds weird what you're not like, you know, I just felt different Yeah, you were though. Yeah, yeah, and, so now I'm like, like you guys, and I thank you for welcoming me into your community. And I may ask you a question. Now speaking on that, do you think that like, like, schools, like the school that my

kid might go to, there are Indian kids, there are kids from other countries, or Pakistani kids, that are from other countries that English isn't their first language. Yeah. In the preschools, the lower schools, and that brings the scores down. They're smart. They're smart kids, but they don't speak English or they can't do the tests. Yeah. What testing has done in preschool?

Well, not preschool, like first to sixth. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like elementary school. So the elementary school's numbers are low, but it might not be because of that it's a bad school or the kids are stupid. It might be that a language barrier where right because the high schools are on 8 out of 10.

Same population. Same community. Same community. It might be, I don't know. I think the, um, like how new are these kids to the country? I don't know I think the Like how newer these kids to the country. I know I was no as you were. Oh, why was born here? Yeah, but you They get so offensive I get too comfortable too Heart sank when I called Bobby a dick

Apparently didn't hear the Juve Hall No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, How you said in july I'm a home boy with no confidence question mark at the end of home boy you wear this head boy. Oh boy. It's very We're in it perfectly. Well, I mean, I don't know fuck it I thought you were gonna have the answer, but apparently not all you are smart. I don't fuck with that. I don't know shit Well, it stops wearing you a teacher. I can swear I know I'm kidding No, I'm kidding. It was like, no, what the fuck? It's not that hard, right? I know, I just, I think it's okay, guys. Right.

Oh, this is my life summed up in a minute. Now, let me ask you a question, Brian. Now, if this thing's taken off, like you said, I mean, you still have your other job. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's taken off as far as people knew who I am. Do you have all your art framed up? And do you get them signed?

What do you do with them? A lot of it's just social media stuff. I mean you know you're just doing it for comics. I mean for the yeah for under the comedy hour grand a lot of people just using it for promotion online. I mean I do see stuff that people print out. So if I wanted a poster from you and I can come to you and be like do look let's talk. Yeah. And you'd be like all right cool this is it and then you make a poster for me. I'm gonna get you the file. Yeah.

And you can print that wherever you like. Really? Yeah, I'm gonna design it. No, that's what I mean. Yeah, I'm gonna go get a fucking... Yeah, looks like people don't know. Some people think, oh yeah, I went three posters, all right? Well, the first poster I got was amazing.

And it was done by a guy whose name alludes me. And he actually did the silk screening of every, each, there was a hundred posters made, he de-silkscreened every poster, signed everyone. So that's what, yeah, some people. So that is a true gig poster. That is a piece of art that was made from front to start by the artist and signed.

And when you hang that on your wall, that's art. But I do believe that a digital piece of art, given to you by the artist, how a porter made a beautiful supermax. It's my son as superboy. And for his birthday, it says, superman, that's from Howard Porter, who's one of the greatest comic book artists

of all fucking time. So it's like, that's a piece art. Did he silk screen it on a fucking, no, he didn't, but he did it. That's a whole, everything's digital now, yeah. Everything's digital. That's a whole, that's a paintbrush. That's considered art.

And it's what allows me to kind of do this, I think, because it can be quick. It doesn't, you're not literally there, and it can go quick. And so I can do, there's something up. And I'm not killing myself over it. You have to cut out stencils or some ship before. I'm just missed that old school curve.

I didn't have to deal with the old school design with a new school. Roo-Lers, Ruby-Lith, I don't know what that is, but retract it. It's a whole thing. You're literally playing type on the newspaper page. I just missed that. I remember it was fucking awful.

I just missed it. I just came in when computers. I was just getting the computers Yeah, right and and that's why you could oh my god. You could rap text around an image Yeah, they used to have a cork. It would be a cork right? I have to pagemaker probably yeah, yeah, yeah pagemaker. Pagemaker is probably what you dealt with yeah It was it was crazy. It was fucking nuts. Well, I was, I'm old enough to wear when I first started. It's like, you know, two thousands. Yeah. I was painting oil painting. Yeah. And I actually sent artwork. You mailed it. It was just right before email. I mean, there was email, but people weren't using it like they do now. Right. And you weren't sitting high res files. Yeah. If you were

setting high res files, a lot of times it times on a disc that you would still mail out. So for my first two or three assignments for like little newspapers in here and there, you know, I paint, I'm oil paint. And it's stressful to oil paint, and then I'll put it under a heat lamp because you have like, you know, a couple of days turn around from sketch to final. Most stuff I do for my regular stuff. And you know, you'd mail it. It was so strange. Now your art worked out. And they'd scanned it on their big drum scanner, whatever. And then maybe they sent it back to you. Right, yeah.

Now it's just, you know, it's easy. So I dealt with that for maybe a few months, but then quickly, you know, FTP and your stuff, and all that kind of stuff took off. So, didn't have to worry about it. I was amazed how quick the thing you did for me and stopped and how awesome it was. Like, it's like you had to listen to the me

talking about the Incredibles. Yeah, yeah. And it's like to take a podcast, which is a creative thing. And then to make a piece of art for that, for a comedy show. It says, I love that, that create, like it's thing creation creates, creation, create, you know what I mean? I know that sounds corny, there should be a hat for that.

I should have to wear the corny hat. To creation, to creation with creation. It was creation, dude. And then you create, that's for's what god lives vagina make vaginas guys All right, never mind. I'll keep that You know Bobby had a smile on his face I know Make sure what's snapped tight in the back. It's a fit.

Okay. What would be your dream comedian to get a call from? Please say Shucky Duck. I mean, you know. Shucky Duck, you're quack, right? Jumeria. Shucky Duck, yeah. Shucky Duck, you're quack.

You're qu. What Alabama? Sinbad now it's gonna You know, you know Yeah, don't talk about It dude the sin Sinbad is one of the fucking greatest comics I mean, he's still I love them in a different world. Yeah a lot of time. I mean, he's still. I love them in a different world. Yeah, he's great.

Yeah, but he's still killed that he kills clean. Clean. Yeah, dude, anybody who kills clean, you gotta give him a next level. Yeah, because dude, I've killed, but I say fucking, come to every dick and suck it and gizz. Every other, you know, like to go up and not swear and not be dirty and

not and have energy and annihilate crazy and that's crazy Brian Regan same thing crazy yeah so that's what we'll laugh about you but seriously um that should be your artist character look absolutely just a hat on a hat uh-huh um who would be who would be you know a lot lot of Louis CK course. So if Louis called you up and was like, Hey, I show you artwork. Hey, man. Yeah, it's Louis. I say, I know we can do it in my brain. In my brain. Who's gonna explore picture of him in Sinbad on the fly? Oh, Sinbad, I'm doing Sinbad next. Seriously. What would be if Louis wanted you to do something, what would it be?

No, really. How do you get that? What do you do? What do you go to to get the Oh, sometimes it's, you know, here and you guys talk about stuff, but I'll go watch a set, you know, go, whoever I'm doing it for. I used to put it on as I'm kind of working and that'll kind of give me a sense of, of where to go with it. To be him in an awesome shirt. Who would be your, like have you ever done an adventure out of comedy and dead actors or sports people? Yeah, under my regular stuff I do whatever.

Oh, under your regular stuff. And you never put yourself on the internet face. You don't want people to know what you look like. I don't know, I just, I'm like that kind of guy that wants to be behind the scenes. I'm behind the scenes guy, obviously, because I'm freaking draw pictures. Right, so I like to be behind the scenes. I'm behind the scenes guy obviously because I'm freaking draw pictures Right, so I like to be behind the scenes. So you don't want people to know what you look like. I don't care

You don't care because there's one image I saw you and you had you cut. Oh, yeah, well, I was just stupid I just can't dumb. I didn't know I had to be like a Jeffy Ross That's a seller and I put like a dumb smiley face on my face. I thought you didn't want it like you a see It could be a thing. Maybe I'll do it. want it like you a see a It could be a thing maybe I'll do it maybe it would be funny dude if you should never have my face shown I have a picture of you. I'll I'll put a thing over you face. I like that I'm you know that could be a thing. I think it should be can I get credit like in an interview later? Like if you ever do one other than this one sure Credit right

witness protection written all over it. On Joe Lisbacaz, what are you actually to do it? Well, I mean, Louis C. K. Irving, who'd be another one? Who'd be a fucking relative? Chappelle. Chappelle, wow. I just saw Chappelle. You do where?

Cellar. I was in New York early November. It was the week before. SNL. SNL? Yeah. And went to the late show Thursday night. I was in New York early November. It was a week before SNL SNL? Yeah, and went to the late show Thursday night. I was in New York for an art party and that was at the What an art party, you know, illustration party. No, I don't what are the fights? What

creators? What boring party is that? It is a little boring. That's why I start doing the comedy seller right after Right. I'm not gonna miss after party in Brooklyn. I'm gonna miss out. Paul Beck Turkey problems. What the fuck? Paul back Turkey problems. What the fuck? Good thing.

Go to the G. All right, my God. So that must be Jesus Christ. I know of friends there. Hang out for a bit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no for comedy, comedian, upcoma comedian named Julango. And I'm like, all right, let's go to the seller. So we go to the late show on Thursday and I was like, all right, let's see what happens. You know, I never know.

And Metzker was on and Michelle Wolfe, of course. You did a great one, I was wolfie. Yeah. That was just, how did you get Michelle Wolfe? How'd you find her? I saw her at the seller last year. So you saw her at the seller, you liked her. Yeah, yeah.

And you know that we call the wool for whatever, and you did this great one. Well, she was doing like nerd melt or whatever, out west, so I was like, oh, I gotta do something, comic bookie, and that was just something I did, just to kind of get stuff out there. That was when I was really wasn't getting too much, actual work work from it.

But yeah, she was there, and I saw her last year, before I even did this comedy art thing. And so she was on, did the late show and it was about one at this point and we'll, we'll advance, get's up and it's like, all right, you ready? I remember, I said, remember, no pictures, no whatever. Yeah. And you brought out the stuff. Well, when I was in your light, you had to interpret what the fuck he was saying.

Why you? Why? Well, we were in the front. So it was two of us. So we had the front. We were here and here's a stage. So we messed with the whole night. What's the name? Mayeron.

Mayeron, the Iranian dude. He was messing with me a lot. I don't know. I asked him. What's his name? Mayeron. Yeah. Mayeron was messing with me a lot.

All the hall types. Say it and I'm telling you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, what was that what he does? Yeah I did oh My god, he was messing with me dude. Do I love yeah, yeah, he is always sweating. Yeah, he was sweating so much Big is he wow big is he his clock is around nine But it's uncut. Oh, I'm sorry. What are you talking about?

Oops. Oopsie. He's like a dog or like a fat big guy. He's a big guy. I mean, he's a he's a he's a he's a dog. He's big. He's Husky though. He's not fat. I just never have met a gay brown dude before. He had all. Yeah, my friend live with the gay u-mar. Give me a favor go on the mirror brush your teeth and look up Right at a gay brown dude I'm gonna make a change Come on black guys can sing you like that. Well, I can't come all black guys can sing. You like that?

Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. So good. So now, where are you going to take this thing? What is your name? You're just going to let it happen. What happened? What if it dies?

It's fine. You're fine with that. Yeah, I'm fine with it. Okay. Sometimes, you know, I'm okay with it getting slow. It's fine. I know I said die die Yeah, that is a slow yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay if it dies I'll live yeah, I'll go back So yeah, I was doing how much I can still do I'm not trying to Chris Scople calling you hey, okay, do I hate buddy I'm doing a gig at the tree house in fucking yeah, Mark Lea.

Like, can you do a poster my ass? Yeah, yeah, like a big ass theme thing. Right. Yeah, just drop box. I remember Stavvy, right? When I did the Joe Lissing, he got got with me. He's like, you want me to do a picture? Can you do a picture of me?

And he had an erotic. I was like, man, I don't know if I'm ready for the erotic. I was was like I love your Instagram. I don't know if I'm ready to go to that level yet Yeah, that's the next level. I can't die if I go stop be next Here's a thing with this erotic. Can we jump over there for a second because Can you stop can you stop we're gonna do it at the end? Nothing in this I want you to show this. This shows you that he doesn't know this, but I pick up on this. This is who he really is. He is really just out for Stavvy Baby. This is Lewis Gomez 101 right here. It's my show and I haven't even plugged it yet. This cocksucker, any chance he gets,

Stavvy Baby on Instagram is this erotic Instagram. But it's, it's disturbing. It is, my wife hates it. Yeah, it really is. It's a little hits, but you're not. What's the reason to get in? We were doing a gig down to VA. I'll yeah, you came to use the bathroom It used to be

Just fucking stone, bitch your wife really my wife. Yeah, she hates it Why anytime she keeps post something I'll show it to her See like a part of her dad. What does she said? What is she anything anymore? She's like look at me. She shakes What does she say? What does she say anything anymore? She's like, look at me, she shakes her face. What does she say, originally? Like, like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? I don't want you hanging out with him. Really?

Delete his number. Really? Don't bring around the kids. Right, yeah. I mean, that's a definite. Right, yeah. Every time I see him at my house with Max, Max loves him. And Max, you know, kids always love fucking pedophiles. There's some...

Absolutely. There's some... Absolutely. There's just some energy they have. Hi! They have the same voice tone as Elmo. Yeah, you know how that ends. Oh, yeah. Well, so anyways, I... You're in Baltimore, need him.

Yeah, his... Your Instagram thing. It's either people love it or hate it. I mean, I've shown it to Serpico doesn't even want it. Don't send it to me. He just fucking doesn't want to look at it. And that, well, I mean, his horizons are open. It's either you love it or hate it.

It's like this guy is, but it's addictive. I don't know how you can not look at it because I've done both. I loved it. And then I was like, fuck this. Cause some of them are like, you'll fuck fuck you. What made you hurt? I like it. I've been over on the table and the chicks behind with the knives. Oh, those Thanksgiving places like just trying to smile. She's just tried to

smile. I like it because he's committed. Well, but that's what he does. There's nothing else on there. He's not posted in shots of a set or whatever. That's it. He's branding this thing, but that's what I'm worried about. It's like, there'll be a time where this is either going to make you or break you. Don't you just do it for fun? I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you why, because if you get up to, I told you, I went into think so. Don't you just do it for fun. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because if you get up to, I told you, I went into a room once for an audition and they were all on their phones. And I was like, I was like, that's rude. They go, no, we're just looking at your social media. Oh, man. That's what it is. So here's the deal, brother.

When you're looking at middle America for a TV show, when they're looking to cast you in something, and you have this Instagram account of, it's erotic, I mean, it's fucked up shit. Some of it's fucking like, like two middle America fucked up. They're gonna go look, man, you gotta back down on this.

Do you think that, you know, it's funny? I mean, that might never happen. We might be in you know, it's funny because I mean that might never happen We might be in a place where it's like I got fuck you deal with it But it might be a place where someone's like look. He's got to shut this down. A.B. You family pulls out the deal Nothing makes me happier if they come at you with a fucking half a million dollar contract, then you have to make a decision. And then one day we just see him just fully close with other white people. And it says ABC family down the bottom. Yeah, it's our problem.

Three fucking times. I'm relentless. I'm just gonna start with my favorite Bible person. You got to do the Bible. Do you want to say this? Here's the thing. You know what, yours is a creative goofy thing that you're doing.

I've actually toned down my, there was a point, a few years ago, I was like, oh shit, I'm gonna be on TV or I wanna be on TV more. And I had to really decide what I believed in. Like I was saying stupid shit before. And it was like, I'm like, ah, I don't know if I was saying stupid shit before and it was like I'm like ah, I don't know if I want that out there. That's not me anymore. You know where it's like if I say something I really have to be behind it or I'm trying not to say I'm trying not to say fuck as much.

Like that's my new thing because I listen to my tapes and I'm like I say fuck, fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking. And it's like I just want to change that. I have a kid now and I'm like, I say fuck, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, and it's like, I just wanna change that. I have a kid now, I'm, oh, I don't know. And I know, I don't wanna be like the guy who, you know, I don't wanna be that guy who solely fades into fucking mediocre normalcy, you know, cause you see that in the business too. Or if a sudden someone had edge,

now they're wearing button-down shirts that are ironed. You you know what they mean and they're on some fucking ship every week you know what they mean you know but I mean if someone comes to you and says that you give the shit. So there's a cap on your fame. Maybe I mean it's I can defend it as an art piece the kind of fame I want is a kind of fame that like involved that like who give me an example like a Zach Gallifinakis perfect so so you're saying if Nike came to you hang on let him finish it let him finish the question You know don't you have a tendency to just step on I'm gonna just let him fucking ask the question. I don't even want to ask

I think you guys are gonna make fun of it. No, I'm not I swear to God I love you. But if Nike came to you with like a million dollars a million dollar contract And they told you you got a shutdown this Davi baby you would Yes, yes, they do you have to shut it down Stavvy baby. You would... 19? Yes. Yes. They do you have to shut it down so you can do their marketing. A million dollar contract? Yeah, a million. Yep.

What is your number? Kevin Hart's status. A million is... That's pretty good. I'm going to help you with this. I'm going to help you. A hundred thousand I'd change everything in my life. Right?

For real? Listen to me. A thousand. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. From the bisco, I do it. It's fucking trisket. So I'm gonna help you. We're not. Trisket's mother fucker.

Why not, right? It's a bisco. If Palm Molle came to me. Palm Molle. And said, listen, $30,000 you're gonna change your whole story. I would, I'd have a fucking apron. And an old lady and I'd be like this soaking in Palm Moller. And sad, listen, $30,000, you're gonna change your whole story. I would, I'd have a fucking apron and an old lady and I'd be like, this soaking in Paul Moller.

You're crushing weak fins. I know that, do you remember being like 12, you're like, how much money would it take you to suck? Dicking your like, 12, I did it last week. And literally did it last week. That was a conversation. And now you're like, $2,500 is a lot of fucking money. You suck. Wait a second. Stop. 25 everybody. 25. State tax refund. Like I said, you're gay.

Good. 25 or 100 bucks is a date. Like that's a that's a few. All right, give me that hat. I said that. Right. I didn't think you were done. What kind of date? I was date. I tried to sneak out of it, but I was like, you know what? Let me just join the club. Let me just get my hat back. Why not?

2,500? Yeah, I would do it for someone paid my pay to over just for a month. So no, we're not talking about second Just data over just You'll never be allowed at his house ever Absolutely now he's our boy with it Yeah, but I'm a house, you know, all the nice things. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's like a fun thing. Yeah. Right.

You can always go back to it. Do you know what I'm saying? A subscriber base, what do you have to pay? It's just turning the game board. Like a, like, title. What if, here's another question, interesting question about that, Stavvy. What if it takes off?

What if that guy becomes something? That's interesting. What if that, and now you have to become that guy? Yeah, I'm kind of talking about this. It's like, I don't know about like, like things I'd like to do as that character. Like get fucked by a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Have Mateo just fucking open up that fucking perfect ass. The best ass I've ever seen I wanted it. I really I just want to suck it What I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm just joking. I can't come over now Yeah, please edit me out this park I was never here. I can never here. I was never here.

Right. I can't go back to the hood after this shit. You can go back to a certain part of the way. Right, right. The quarry is going to kill me. You can go to back to hood makes the money now. You're going to park here until my son is dead, man. Right.

I get the godfather to talk on my behalf. I talk to these motherfuckers, man. You a homeboy? A queer boy on my behalf. I talked to these motherfuckers, man. You a homeboy? Aw, a queer boy on my way forward. So, like, would you become that guy? Would you, would you? Thank God. Who is the guy?

I don't know. You create him. You're known as a fact guy. That's a good question. Who is he? Who is the guy? I think it's the idea is just like, just a fact guy that wants to be a model, think it's the idea is just like just the fact I want to be a model. I'm going

to be I don't care about physical limitations. Right. I think it'd be fun to do like a. So you're you're an overweight model that embraces. Right. I think it's the guy. I think it's the guy. I think it's the idea is just like just the fact I want to be a model. I think it's yours. I'm going to be I don't care about physical limitations. Right. I'm going to work. Like I think it'd be fun to do like a. So you're you're you're an overweight model. That it embraces. Right. I'm going to be a. I like that man. I like that man. I like that man. I like that. I like that. I like that man. You know I like you with the contract That was nice, yeah, have you ever have you ever tried to get somebody to sponsor?

Stop me baby. I'm trying. I mean, I want to get my and why don't you have shh? Why don't you have shirts? No, you need a calendar There you go. Nice. This one The cards I want to get a little bigger Do you need money for the calendar? Do you need an investor? I would like to be involved. I'm an angel investor.

I'll be an investor, but I get profits shares. I get, well, I get my money back and then I get a hand. Just the back end. I will promote it through Rye Cast and my podcast and I will pay for some of it. Yeah, I want to do that. All right, let's talk about that. But, yeah, so I want to get to like a couple more followers and get it. How many you got?

I got like seven thousand. Right, I remember you had hundreds. I had, when I first went on your show, I had 150 something. Yes. And then it was like, you know, a kept growing. So yeah, this time last year I had like, I first went on your show, I had 150 something. Yes. And then it was like, you kept growing. So yeah, this time last year I had like, so, thanks. Thank you, Bob. Put me on the note.

And growing. No, but I think it's a very, it's a ballsy move because you have to commit to it. Like you said, you're committed to it. But it does have a backstory. There does have some, there is a life there. But either, in like anything good, you either hate it or love it. I think if, you know what I mean?

I think if everybody loves it, it's gonna fit. It's bad, yeah. Well, yeah, I think so. I think you're gonna find someday that's gonna crumble. Something's gonna happen. But if you can, if people hate it or love it and whatever side is more or less, you have something. And definitely with Stavvy, baby, it's's fucking it's crazy because I look at some of them like

oh fuck I never want to see that again but I go back because I'm like I just got to look one more time right yeah you know I mean it's like seeing a perfect dick it's like I'm not gay I don't want to look at the dick let me see that one time oh my god it's awesome what is it it? I don't want to touch Jesus Christ. Listen, well, all right, really right now we're here. I want to make sure that I want to thank all the people that join the premium members. The premium members are the best. We have the new show coming up there.

I got a one on one with Paul Verzi that's up there now. The creeps with kid coming up there, I got a one on one with Paul Verzi that's up there now, the creeps with kids shows up there. We have another show, the fucking Yankee swap, Christmas is up there with the regulars. That's going up. So if you want to become a premium member, all you have to do is go to the app, get the app, IOS, Android, the Robert Kelly podcast, you know what dude, app, find it, download it for free, become a member, it's $199 a month, and you get all the backlogged episodes.

If you don't join all this episode, all the new episodes are free, but if you join, you get hundreds, hundreds, around 300 and something, 400 episodes that you can listen to all the time, and you also get these special little episodes that I do. The one on ones and the special editions like the Yankee Swap. So, become a member, join, get the app free, and then become a premium member right now. If not, hey, whatever, enjoy this one. And what else? This sponsor's, I'll put him right here.

After he's done laughing. And there you go. So anyways, I'm gonna kind of wrap this up. We're all hungry, right? I have menus somewhere. I don't know, oh, I have them right here. We get some Chinese food delivered, huh? Why?

No Chinese, Bob. Well, we can get Mugugu Guy Pan. Mugugu. Let's go to my mom's house. We'll get some Pakistani food. Buddy get Mugugu guy pan. Mugugu. Let's go to my mom's house. We'll get some Pakistani food. Buddy, Mugugu guy pan. No. Why is it not good?

Not good. Dude, here's the problem with you. Buddy, here's the problem with you. First of all, oil is OK. Oil, you just said oils. Like, that's bad. It's fine. Baby oil.

Buddy, this is what bugs me about you. You ready? There's nobody. This is what bugs me about you, right? There's nobody. This is what bugs me about fatty bumble-atty, okay? Is that when you, right, when you pick and choose what you want, it's good. We got to fight about wings about this. Yeah, you fuck, okay? No, you're wrong.

I can have wings. I can have hot sauce hot sauce No, you know you said dude wings you wanted you wanted to go get fucking Draft safely. Draft safely. Have a good show tonight. Listen. Your wings are not fattening. Yeah, they are. They're fucking fried. Who said that? No, for listen, the diatom, listen to me.

Listen to me. I want you to hear this, okay? What's your name again? Umar. I'm not calling you that. Joe, listen, Joey. Hahaha. Umar, huh? Joe, listen.

Joe, listen to me. The wings, the diet amount is no sugar, no grains. I can't have carbohydrates or sugars. Now, the wing sauce can have sugar in them, but a hot wing sauce, right, or just a dry, has nothing, or an old spice, whatever, that's, you know, don't pay. You mean you have a lot of research into this?

So I really did. Now, the oil, it's fine. You know what I'm saying? It's not, they fry the wing with no breading. As long as it's just the wing itself, a naked wing dried is fine for me to eat. I can have a wing, okay? I can have vegetables, okay?

Yeah, that's amazing. Hang on, hang on, vegetables. A mougat-guy pan is vegetables and chicken, okay? I don't know, man. It is. Now, if I get the sauce on the side right in dip I'm I'm better off you want to go you want to go get a salad you see are these two getting salads it seems like a drug addict trying to convince us

weed isn't a real drug well actually weeds not real. Alright. Alright. Yeah. We'll fuck you up. Right. If I dip my crack. As long as that cut with anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's what violence could be leaving out. This was in late night where we had no options. This was 10 a.m. in the morning.

You want that dry, but fuck you up. Everything's over. No, no, no, no. Listen, listen. First of all, he's waiting for the roll of the gate up. Everything's on First of all, he's waiting for the roll the gate up All right, here's a deal I just okay, I want to just let you know that you're a rat Motherfucker I trusted you and you fucking All these must be cradle to the grave You're just a fat man to me, stop me baby. You're dead. Yeah, you're a fucking You take your poster and stick it right up

Why You're gonna be a body son of a bitch. All right, so what are you, where do we go for lunch? My mom's house. I'm not going to your mom's house. Oh. Do a quick yell if I'm sure there's stuff around. Get it nice. What? Good or hamden?

We went last night to the honey pig. Yeah, no problems with those sauces. We have very few sauces. Buddy, I've never seen somebody dip. Dude, you took my, you took my sauce. You took my sauces. the you took my sauces wait yeah

you're right they are sugar based opposed to what that's a straight up meat. That's fine. Oh God, where do you want it? Where are we getting salads? I'm just going to go and sleep. I'd rather sleep.

I literally just shut my body down. Well, the next episode of Sausage Up. Stabby baby. Can't eat these for you. Let's just all this as well. Let's just go, let's just all get Bravo Turkey sandwich. There you go. What is that? Full of time baby.

Panera. No, oh, Panera has why? They say, what do we soccer moms eating a Panera? Dude, Panera has great salads. And they have great cream and broccoli soup. Dude, don't they have that? No, I can tell. And they have great cream and broccoli soup. Dude, don't do soup. No, you can't. You fatty.

It's flour. Cream based has flour in it. Because you're, you fucked me in front of all these people. Now I got you, fatso. That's bad as waiting for a buffalo while doing stuff. Right. You know, nobody likes you, Joey. Not even your students

All right Brian that's all the Ryan's never painting you In my head. I'm like is he a little bit serious I love you Joey Like we know the comments will be texting like in a group chat and one of them will say something mean about me And then I have to send them an individual text like you're just kidding, right? Because that's how love my stuff was. I'll be validation.

I think we all, Liz and man, that's the best part of our comments we all, we all have these egos that will allow us to good on stage after anybody, anywhere, shit, or 10,000 people, or five people that want to kill you and still go up and try to be funny and have the egos, I can do it. But we're also like, we have the worst self-esteem

of anybody walking there. It's when these two worlds collide. And when you get good comedy, but with, I mean, we're literally the worst of the worst, of narcissistic Eomaniac, and just the most insecure people walking this fucking planet in the same human being crazy. Yeah, it is all sucks Well, not as much for me because myself as theme is better than yours There's a wearer Matt in the business

But I thought we were gonna relate no Real in a Joey Joe, real it in Joey. Yeah, that's not it. We've got a bunch of shifts in school. Yeah, absolutely right, right, right. Yeah, you should try for a principal position. You should call it a Faggot by second-grade. I'm not deleting that.

Is it? No, no, no. That's on you. Leave it in. No, don't say that, don't say that. Shut up, shut up, shut up. I'm not deleting it, please shut up. My name is Joey. Joey. You're the last four of his social. No, I'm legit scared. You should be, Joe. I'm fine. I, um, well, listen, this has been a great

podcast. I want to thank Joey for coming on. You're welcome. Joey, what do you got coming up, buddy? I will be at the auto bar in December 10th. I'm featuring there at downstairs room. And then once a month, I host a show case show that's really good. I'm having New York comics come down. Tim Dylan was supposed to do it, but he had to bail. But where is it? It's at Joe Square pizza. Joe's. Yeah, Joe Square. No, it's great. We've sold out every month. We sold out every night. You're not getting it. I called you Joey Yeah, I didn't get it. You really are a teacher You're gonna it up did yeah, it's called gin and jokes At Joe's where to where they're the first Thursday of every month look us up on Facebook. Yeah, it's good, man

It's a great room, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it Wait, yeah for real I would love that that'd be great. That'd be great. All right. Thanks brother What's your Twitter you get your Twitter? Oh, yeah, I do want to not give that up for a underscore con. Okay cool cool and Brie, what do you got buddy? I'm working on a pot actually it's already done But I don't know when they're gonna release it. I worked on a podcast cover for Phil Hanley and Joe Mackie and Sam real he you that, right? Did he bounce it off you? Uh-huh, yeah.

I love it. I gave him a couple notes. Yeah, yeah. So he made a comeback with some tweaks, but that one's fun. What's he called again? Keeping Joe. Yeah. So I'll talk about keeping Joe from leaving.

Yeah, we're podcasting sounds like. Yeah, we're looking at that for riot cash right now. Oh, cool. Excellent. We're checking it out, but yeah, I love the artwork. So that's great. I'm working on a poster that you don't know you're doing an event, a charity that you're not aware of

in Boston. So there will be an illustrator, Bob Kelly. Yeah, maybe we'll do. Maybe we'll, you know, I have ideas for the, you remember the soprano's photo where they had the whole cast in it and he was just sitting there I wanted to do that for the YKWD with all the of course the core comics and then on the year and they just goes out and out now Mm-hmm into comics with me. Yeah, of course being a 20 soprano in the middle

And then you know, I wanted to do something like that. I don't know if she talked to you about that. Did we talk to you about that? She got in touch, said, yeah, what'd you do something? I said, yeah, we can do something. And that was about it. I think that's, we'll talk about it. It's something for the part.

We'll see about it. All right, great. Well, thanks coming on, man. I love your work, man. And I love that you're, you love it. That's the greatest thing that you love. Yeah, that's fun, you know. Yeah, it's all, dude, thanks for coming on, man. I love your work, man. And I love that you're, you love it. That's the greatest thing that you're doing. Yeah, that's fun, you know. Yeah, it's all, dude, it's awesome.

It's great. And you help comics out a lot, man. I tell you, when you can, when you can put that image up and people respond to it. Yeah, a lot of it's like, oh, I could do better than that. And it's like, I don't even need to spend the most time on it. And it's like, I did a thing and I immediately regretted it. I said, I put it on Twitter and Instagram. I said,

all right, five minute flyers. Give me your give me, give me what you're doing. And I'll do it in five minutes. I mean, you know, you take, yeah. And I immediately got to to my bar. And so I said, all right, it's cut off. I did take it. Now I did about, I did about seven of them. I'm not gonna do this. I'm gonna be like, that was only up for like, a couple hours.

I was like, I can't do this. I'm stressed. I'm gonna do a 23 minutes flight. So I was like, I'm just gonna do one. I'm just gonna try that out. It's more of a promotion thing. And I think I'm gonna try some more similar things that aren't as stressful as far as getting too many requests.

Wednesday night, 8.30, subway, sucks. Exactly. I'm gonna do it. One dollar, a true candy pizza. Too many requests at Wednesday night 8 30 subway I literally left it on and then you fucking I know you saved me Yeah, at at comedy artwork at comedy host social media things Thank you for coming on brother. Appreciate it right a good time. What do you got brother? My mom's basement. I'll be there. Do you live in your mom's basement? No, not anymore Did you did you live in your mom's basement? My grandpa's basement. You really?

What happened? It was very depressing time. Was it really? Yeah, why there was no windows down there? There's no windows in the basement. And I was going through shit. It was weird. Yeah, I mean, look, man, I used to live my grandma's basement. There was no windows, but I used to like it. Yeah, but it was just, you know, about my grandma's house. I had the TV down there, like a little chair.

You know, you could sleep on the couch. Beat off next to the water. Just that fucking angry snake. Hey, people flushing upstairs. You didn't like it, huh? Sad? Were you there because you couldn't afford to give anywhere else? Yeah, pretty much. I'm still there.

I mean, I own the house now. She died. I'm sorry, buddy. She gave it the house though. You own it? Yeah. You have to pay the taxes? Yeah.

It's a weird situation. Can you afford it? No. So what are you gonna do? Steal in electricity. But he still said that on my show, is that I don't want to have to go to court for you? He's a wire, he's never seen it.

He truly is. It really is. Buddy, are you kidding? So sad. Are you kidding me? Can I just say something? You bought the house. I mean, she gave it, she passed away.

Of natural causes, right? And I'm killed. I'm staying in the basement no more. Yo, Nanny, come down here for a sec. Just push her face against the hot life. Let me talk to you, Gwendolyn. Let me ask you,, Gwendeling. Let me ask you, so she passed away and she left the house to you.

Well, you know, my people don't leave stuff to people. We just like, I'm here now and it's mine. I don't know if that's how the law was. Yeah. Well, my black law. My name's on the deed, whatever. So it's your house. So are other other family members living there? Fortunately. Is that the problem? Yeah. So did

you move somebody in the basement? Nobody's in the fucking basement. Nobody's in the basement. I didn't want to put that on anybody. So everybody lives together and you have a hard time living with these other people. Yeah. And do you have to, does everybody chip in to pay the bills? So how you how you pay in the taxes? Hosting in Macgoobies. Yeah, all summer. Goobies. Whatever I can pull the job. Do you have? Don't really want to talk this shitty. It's like a it's not shitty. It's a great. It's a great place. Are you told me about it? Yeah, uh in their very supportive of me doing comedy they really try to and they came to the show. They came to the show. You know white people they don't have to be that nice to me, they really try to... And they came to the show. They came to the show.

You know, white people, they don't have to be that nice to me, but they are. Because white people are nice, man. They can be... We're not bad people. Oh, no. We're not, man. There's a very small majority that are fucking terrible.

And they get a bad rap. You said the show. It's small, but joy. Yeah. Whoops. Oh, I thought it was a very small... It was funny, yeah. Shut up. Yeah Very small is that was funny. Yeah shut up Joey Joey Joey Joey the all right Listen buddy

Are you gonna be all right? After the show I'm worried about everything everything's great right now. I'm living my dream. I'm working on doing this shit, man. I'm on Karmic. Well, let's not gig. I mean, you're, you know, okay. But, uh, I mean, I put the car in front of the wall. I say, I say, you're a floor manager first. But, no. I'm not seeing. Yeah. And that's good. No, that You know. That's good stuff. That's good stuff as I would, you know, people say. Nothing to it. So I, I, I, are you trying to get the fuck out of here? Are you just trying to get better here? I want to go wherever I can go.

I don't want to just leave Baltimore together. Are you going to leave when you leave that house? Are you going to leave that house to them? Or are you going gonna sell it? No, I feel like I'm the most responsible nigger I know. Wow, I'd love to name the podcast that. Right, I'd love to. I can't.

I don't think I can't. So, so, I feel like it's up to me to like improve everything. So I can't just walk away. I think that was a, that was an ill placed end word. Yeah. I mean, it was very ill-placed.

I'm offended. I closed my jacket when he said, oh my. Is it drafting it? There's like a lot of black families that go through the same thing. Like, their dead parents' name is still on the house. You know what I mean? But you're the best one. Yeah, I'm like the best at all that.

Right here we go. That's grand sign. Yeah, but you're the best one. Yeah, I like the best at all that I call myself black probably the nigger situation For the love of God you say it like a white You're not going to Jason you're not going to Jason tells He's really landing at E.'all He's really sticking it It's really the eight Where's the eight? It should be a tariff and divot Yeah, do you miss a semi-burner?

Yeah, you're saying it like a guy from Comic Con would say That is I don't know All right, well But I'm doing a, I'm doing fucking I'm doing fucking do his show January that's great man. I'm also doing Towson University January 15th My Twitter's valence Michael Instagram vow kill more. I think that's clever. That's kind of cool. Yeah, that's not clever

It's cool. Yeah, Instagram best nigga Best nigga I know Underschool That is This can be your autobiography title Yeah, the the N word spelled with the at symbol I know I got what Naga. I know. Hi, God.

What else? I don't know. It's a lot. That's it. All right. OK. I'm a survivor, though. You, I hope so.

Don't worry. Yeah, I hope, dude, I hope so. You will. You'll survive. You seem like a very resourceful. I got to get points. No, not. Shut up.

Very resourceful. One of you. You know, I think we found a loop, Paul, just now. So no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, All right on to the next one. All right. Oh shit. What's up, man? What's up? What are you going to go? Yeah, Jason Williams, he tons of colleges clubs. The easiest way is make it simple. Go to JasonWheemscomedy.com.

It's W-E-E-E-M-S. And Instagram's Jason Weemscomedy and Twitter's at J. Weemscomedy. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, man, I hope you get back on stage soon as I went through that same stuff, man. Where I was at the seller, I was hosting a lot, I was improving a lot, and then I'd go on the road and I had around 30, 45 minutes, maybe about an hour. So I was doing a lot of improv. My improv right up front. Just what's up? Boom, bang, boom. And I had to stop and just go into my jokes as soon as possible. Because I had to learn to make the jokes as strong as the improv.

So when I can dip back, dip in and out and they don't know where it is. I think the float doesn't exist. I mean, look, there are some guys who just improv. Yeah. And they do it well. And, but I don't know, I think it's at a point. It can't solve. I don't know, you're just leaving yourself out there.

I think learning how to become a better joke, a better performer, a better joke writer, learning how to learn that the structures and how to do it, I think is important. Yeah. My jokes come about organically. Yeah. I don't write anything, it's just me talking shit.

Yeah. It typically comes out of a riff. Yeah, but you should learn how to maybe fucking structure that a little bit. Right. A little bit. Yeah. I mean, look, I never saw Patrice with a no-pad either. Yeah.

But he had an amazing memory. Got you. And he could do, and he did his jokes. Mm-hmm. But he did his jokes. He allowed for that freedom in there, but he could do it just the joke. Gotcha.

You know what I mean? Absolutely. And his jokes were so fucking powerful. And so slow, the buildup was so slow sometimes. You're like, what the fuck? This is gonna be fun. And then all of a sudden, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, and you're're like what the fuck

Yeah, that's good man. Well nice to meet you bro. All right. I'll see you later. What's up with you? Stavvy, baby Yeah, that's that's kind of fucking fly with NBC and the piss go Compton Yeah, that's that's gonna fucking fly with NBC and Nabisco. We're talking about the Stubby Baby. I'm gonna find guess. Come to me. Right. Come call to say. Brian's actually gonna do the poster for that. What?

What? That's dripping in you. Oh, okay. Is that funny? No, please. Oh, yes. And then also. Why come to town?

Can we just change it now? I'm gonna tell you this. I'm told you this story. I told you what's gonna happen. You'll never be able to motor on TV. Well, when I cast the network that I own with my friend, when I first joined it was called Glory Hole Network. So I'm on Red Eye one night and like what do you want me to promote? I was like, oh, I'm on my new podcast song, Gloria. Oh, there. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't say that. And I was like, oh my God, I immediately changed the to riot cast because I'm not fucking, you know what I mean? It's like, I want to do shit above my podcast. Yeah. You know, where you can promote something. You're never...

You have like fine. What are you gonna do? I don't know. Change the fucking name. That's what you're gonna do move and become bigger on the business. I guess, if it was, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if Zach Alvin Agas to be between, it was between two pussies, he would have changed it. I think that was the original name. And there was just ladies naked with their big bushes. He changed it to ferns.

Oh, really? I don't know, dude. I mean, it's just a thought. I know you have a lot of. I know you have a lot of, I know you have a lot of come town fans and the show is really popping off. What? And you're like, oh, you know,

and that's why they kind of like it. I think that's a problem, yeah. Yeah, but fuck them. I don't know. I kind of, I feel like we're two, I don't necessarily agree with you, but I think it's part of what makes me. I hope, I really hope you get success this year.

Like, incredible success. And you have to dump it all. I hope you have that decision. I hope I just, my phone rings late at night. I don't know what to do. You know, Nick, me and Nick are working. Oh, we're making good money. But I mean, they're all for me a lot.

This is, this is gonna be a great job. I get to work with Will Sassow. I love it. Will Sassow. I love it, Will Sasso. I'm so, oh Steve. I'm so, oh Steve. Hopefully you'll never have to make that decision, but it's a great show.

It's kicking off, so make sure you check him out. And again, go to become a premium member. Get the app iTunes Android, the YKWD app. Join 199 a month. If you haven't done it yet, just fucking do it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop.

Just do it. Stop not doing it. Stop not, stop what you're doing right now and just go do it. Anyways, the ones who joined, I love you to death. You guys are the best fans in the world. I love when you see these guys at shows, you heard them on this show, you know,

when I ask you to do, you go up and you tell them you heard them on this show, you know, when I ask you to do you go up and you tell me You heard them on the YKWD and you make sure you follow us Our comedy see us live because that's what we really do these shows and we do these podcasts and detain you in between What we really do and that's stand-up comedy so come see us live support live comedy and We'll see you next time you guys the best you know what dude podcast you've been listening to YKWD podcast thanks for listening now go back to your shitty jobs Checkoutryocas.com For all the best podcasts on the internet

And they're all free And they're all free Join Join Join La región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.