Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - One on One with John Ales

Episode Date: October 29, 2017

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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com. Welcome to the You Know What Dude podcast. This is a special edition where Robert goes one on one with some of the most interesting people in the world. Or at least in his world. So sit back and relax, and enjoy. You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? I know what! The You Know What Dude podcast? One, on one. One, on one. One, on one. One, on one. One, on one.

One, on one. One, on one. One, on one. One, on one. One, on one. One, on one. One, on two. What's new to you, Mikey? Fix your mic, because you're an asshole. 1, 2, 3. What's your duty of mic? You fix your mic because you're an asshole. It's good. No, it's not. It's not. It's over there. It's going to be in the middle. Let's twist it up. Let me hear you.

Do you know that I know it's fine. You don't have to eat this mic. It's all over. It's fine. It's not fine. Is it fine? Fine. It's fine. You just tilted. You did a bike position to fart. Ha ha ha.

I hate farting. I feel like it's terrible. So, I'm with John Ailes. Hi. AKA rehab. I do other things too. AKA on better things. actor aka all kinds of shit one of those those journeymen we're walking through the West Village right now

passing in so many cookies which makes me want to eat three cookies. Yeah, I just think about how I... Hey, I'm Belly. Good to see you, too. I think I met Thakai, too, right? He was in an audition, I went last week, which scares me. When you go in and you auditioning for Thakai, this bunch of beast, just a bunch of chubby ginger guys with feards. I got one.

What do they think of me? It made me literally start going to the gym again. I'm not kidding you. Oh, I've been in the room with just the most awkward mix of people that make you realize what a filthy pig you must be. I'm fucking believable, right? Unbelievable. We're, uh, so you're in New York.

What are you, you're here? You got an acting gig. Got an acting gig. I'm doing a gig. I'm doing a gig. I'm playing a... Sneaky Pete. I'm doing sneaky Pete. I'm playing a very... a very forceful personality on sneaky Pete.

What does that mean? I'm... I'm... I take charge of people. I'm tough. I'm tough. You're tough? I'm a tough motherfucker. Do you have people doing for it? It's hard for...

Well, I don't want to tip my hand, but nothing is off limits for me. I'll do any... I'll get my hands dirty. Yes, very dirty. I mean, but you don't look... What are we going for coffee, by the way? What do you have coffee beans? What do you love?

Right here. There's a great coffee place right here. Have you know this place? Oh, yeah. This place is the best. Oh, come on? What do you love? Right here. There's a great coffee place right here. Have you know this place? Oh yeah, this place is the best. Oh come on, you don't know it. What's it called? It's right over here, dude. It's ice cream sherbert.

No, it's the coffee pita. Manusha? No, nothing. Oh, the original what? No, not this place. You know at home, Bobby. Do you have something to tell me? No, no, no.

A coffee place right here. But here's a deal. Here's a cool, well, we just get out of what I want to kind of talk about real quick. Let's talk about it. And now you're great at it. Okay. Because it's one thing to be a good actor.

But if you don't book a gig, no one will ever fucking know. Right. And how lucky you're at it, we actually get to do it. Yeah. It's not the coffee. Oh, it does smell delicious. Yeah. Right, you never let this place right there. This is like two ass holes in on their feet getting coffee. Oh, it does smell delicious. Yeah, right, you never let this place right here.

This is like two ass holes in on their feet getting coffee. Yeah, this is, it's a one on one walk right here. How you doing? It's a little too much flavor. Oh, will they actually make it for you as well? Yeah, right in the back. Right in the back. Okay, okay.

You're gonna make a nice cup of coffee right here. Oh, this looks beautiful. Are you allowed to play this music over there? I don't know. Very well, but now that you said something, hey, someone's gonna have to find out. So here's a deal. What you think?

What do you think? Auditioning is a whole nother game. That's right. And if you can't audition well, you're not gonna get, you might get stuff given to you because you have fitted perfect with somebody you know. Hey, how you doing? What do you want? Uh, double espresso, please.

You? I'll have a double espresso too. With a little bit of cream. Me too. And a splendor. Uh, raw sugar, I'll find it, yeah. Oh raw sugar, we're over here, okay. But you are...

Yeah, you're talking about auditioning. Yeah, like if it's another beast. Yes it is. Going into a room with one other person of usually two other people and eat. Well maybe that's different than it used to be, two you always used to see a room full of producers. What happened with that?

Producers started losing, you know, they have now the producers have so much less, put that away. Now the producers have so much less profit because they have to do half the episodes on a cable show. Yeah. They spend, they have to spend their time wisely. They have way less time in prep.

So really? So they, they prefer, well, and also the digital age helps it bring all the audition tapes right to them, the press of a button in the old days These type of run tapes around time in the old days. I mean seven years ago So they'd rather just be in the room and watch they read just watch what the casting director nowadays It's what the casting the cast and a lot of times can be the casting directors pull what they have all yeah who they think of the best For or but there's but then they'll give them the secondary real too I'm sure I'm sure oh who knows god damn it who knows that I mean it's just really it's a tough

It's a really tough gig and everyone who We've just starting out just has to know the layers of top on tougher tougher, but as you say auditioning has become now you Walking in with a cast and director their, meaning a person is training under them, works for them, with them, that person who is the best. And then it goes into the abyss. Oh, it does. But for instance, how I got this sneaky peep thing. Actors have to be very clever now, and there are ways now that you can be. I was on. This is what I wanted to know. What is this clever shit?

Well, this is a tough one. You have to use your relationships in a wise way. I happen to know people who make television, who have hired me before for movies or television. Together or something. Together. Thank you. You want to cook here something? No. Okay. You don't want to cook in no rogolook? I like a rogolook, but no. What's the top one? And now, like a custard filled.

No? Should we each have? No. No. I don't want anything either. Is it cash on? A card card. Oh, cool. Take that. Get miles. Miles?

You got to fly to see my camera. So, oh, so I'm scouring through Instagram. You know, you go through Instagram and you see what people that you know are involved in. Yeah. I'm going through Instagram a month and a half ago. Yeah, thank you. I see my friend, John Abman, who's a great director and producer. Thank you.

He posts scouting in Brooklyn for SleepyP. A picture of me. Self-footed crew member. Thank you very much. Yeah. I write to my agent manager and email right then. I'm like, hey, my friend John is on this show. I'd love to find any part that I can play.

Like, what part can I play on this show? It doesn't have to be his, but now that I know he's on it, I know it's something I definitely want to be on. Okay. And my agents happen to be looking through the breakdown and they're like, hey, there's this part, it's not one, it's kind of serious. It's six, you know, five or six episodes. Right.

And now it's my turn. Now I have to do what I know how to do, which is go get it. But in the old days, I wouldn't have known that project was happening. So you kind of have to have your ear to the grindstone, right? And know what's getting made. And this really helped me understand that, oh I know people, right? And you know people just starting out. Yeah. They follow people. Yeah I'll sit. Let's see who's a better right over here. Come on. Oh, yeah.

But people just starting out have to kind of like call these relationships from the beginning. You have to start to learn how to use these relations. We walk. You're gonna walk through. Yeah, we're walking right up here. This is my neighborhood, you know. So, okay, now, but okay, so that,

you always have to keep your eyes open. Yes, right. You're an actor. I'm an actor comedian. You're a good at it. So my day job is kind of Doing it right right now I get to go and whatever right fucking you know Perform for money. That's right. Well, that's the blessing of your job. Right. Your other job.

Right. Right. But when you're an actor, you've got to fucking find a way to get into that room. Well, that's real hard. I was just talking to a guy, 55-year-old guy, 50-year-old guy today, who all his friends in the room were like, this guy's a good actor

he should really get out there and deal with him and telling him for years and he has an awesome look and he would be great if he were trained like who knows and he said hey I went to an acting class for a couple years yeah it's one of my oh I didn't give that guy anything did I sign I didn't give him any we have to do we stop we'll give him some. We have to go to the gym. We'll give him some. But, okay. I'm such a terrible person.

You're not a terrible person. Oh, God. There's, oh, I love this neighborhood. Look, you can get a salad and then gelato. What? Okay. Salad there, gelato over there. Okay, so, he had had two years of an acting class.

I said, hey, did you have a showcase after that? Because that is how you start. A showcase. Get some kind of showcase, right? Yeah. Get a showcase. And he said, you know, we did have a showcase. I said, what happened from that?

He said, nobody came to it. Really? And I said, oh, well, here's the thing. You should go get trained by someone who can bring people to that showcase. Because there are four, five, six, ten studios in New York City run by some pretty great acting teachers. Who at the end of their two-year program, when you have your showcase, you get to do two scenes in front of 10, 15, 20 agencies.

It's an incredible boom, but you cannot get eyeballs on your work in the beginning unless you get a leg up like that or you get a job out of nowhere. How did you get your first job? How did you get your first day? My first acting job? Yeah, was it strictly from comedy or were you acting? No, it was not a new comedy. It actually had to do with my acting teacher, P. Kelly, who said there was an independent film shooting, a student film, half hour, and I wound up booking the lead. And then from that, it was somebody else that said to do in a movie and I went down and I got that.

And then my acting teacher had the opportunity to do an off-broughtway at the BCC for dogs in a bone and at that time You know, I was kind of a young dude and I played You know, he gave me a role in that For dogs in a bone. Why do I know is that mammoth? No, that's John Patrick John Patrick Shanley. Yeah, Shanley. Yeah I remember that except I don't remember what it was because that's John Patrick. John Patrick Shanley? Yeah, Shanley, yeah. I remember that, except I don't remember what it was because that's how my retention is.

But that's a good story. See, that's a good thing. It's an example of what it is, which is at the beginning, you gotta be your own salesperson. No one's gonna do it if you can't sell yourself. But here's the thing is that now that you have, you go into this room, okay.

Now I got this audition. Me? No me. I got this audition last week right right okay I go into the room I get the part I'm running it you did no I get the part through the email following okay well you just said you got the part you know wrong terminology right okay for everyone listening Bobby actually knows that he reads the part and he says to himself, what'd you say? Once you read it, I got the power. I didn't put cream in this, right?

I like it. Yeah, but he didn't put cream in it. I did not mix the sugar. No, he did not put cream, but I don't care. This is the greatest coffee ever, by the way. Oh, he's great's right. It's it doesn't need cream. It's so mellow. It is right. It's mellow and creamy itself. It's got cream. But here's the thing like I get this audition. I'm reading it back and forth. You know, spaghetti reading getting the lines down. You know, I have my wife treated with me a couple times. But then, you know, I'm

like, oh, I got it basically. And I, I don't, you know, it's like, I go in, I do the audition and they're like, oh, it's great. I mean, they never tell you, you know, great. Right. It was great. And you, I love it. I'm going to do it again. And you know, that was right. I nailed it. I nailed it. And then you're walking out, I go to Instagram, one of my friends is a big guy like me.

He's like, oh, I just went, just left an audition that blah, blah, blah, and I nailed it. I'm like, well, he fucking nailed it too. Right, well, look, that's my answer. And then I'm never gonna hear from these people again. Well, that's, that's, that's got to change too. That's something that's hard to really wrap your head around too.

So you have to believe that you get it. You know, you really do. For like, I work with you today, right? Right. We worked on a scene together. Yeah, but I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, okay. We started going over word, word by word. You know, last night we broke down the scene.

Last night we break down the scene. That's right. And then today we kind of work it out. That's right. And go through it and make some choices and blah, blah, blah. And then you like, okay, I like, and it's like, oh, wait a minute. You don't just memorize the fucking lines.

Right. You're gonna go through the, why is he saying that? What did he say there? And try this and you need help. You can't just do this. I mean, look, I do. I think there will be a certain- You'll be a certain-

Actors need help. Actors need a technique. First of all, if they don't have a technique- What do you mean by that? Explain that. So there was a phone call. From Dan. Okay, yeah, from Dan Soda, but you said there's a process.

Right, so every actor needs their process. Every actor needs some kind of a process, right? I trained, yeah. I trained in a conservatory at Rutgers. Rutgers has an acting program built into their theatre department and is a fine arts degree, right? So you audition to get into this program, you get into the program,

and from the beginning, Bill Esper and his team of actors teach a technique called the Meissner technique. There are tons, and that's not working? No, it is working, I'm sorry. I must make it sure it's good. So all the techniques in the world are all called something. There's the Meissner technique, there's the method,

there's Stella Adler's training, there's Udahog and Udhrain. So all these people have a certain way of starting you from the beginning. And every actor needs to kind of learn those basic building blocks, or they're fighting a way of getting parts that just happen to be innately in them, right? There are certain actors who get parts who get parts from the beginning who haven't trained at all who have an understanding of how they go about it for me. I start

With this mysner technique you have to always understand how a character feels, right? so by by your feels, right? So by looking at the scene and mapping out what's going on and what you need, if this start from the beginning by like taking a temperature of yourself, how do I navigate through this set of lines? Right. And then once you get into that, you and I did it today a little bit, we gave ourselves actions, something that's very particular to each beat that lets you know that you have clarity in the beat. Am I protesting? Am I defending myself?

Am I arguing? Am I shutting him down? Am I going in for the kill? These are things that actors get to do to make things clearer. And most actors don't get clear training like that. They just get seen work. Yeah. That's also valid too. But you have to know what your process is

when you go to an audition from the beginning. I do that all by myself, right? I like to work by myself. Yeah. But it's because I spent three years in fucking school. I did 20 hours a day doing that six days a week and now on the seventh day you barely rest, you're always working.

It's like it's like one of those things that got ingrained in my in how I pick up a script. So if you don't have that you lean on people like coaches me. I'm a coach to friends. I only work with friends who I think are great. You're a great actor and aithly, but you also are a comedian by first trade, so like you haven't trained in acting, so you don't really have this kind of vocabulary that I have, but you also have a really good understanding of how to make things real and funny and relatable. That's something that you've born with. And if you don't have those things, you know, if you don't have something that you're born with too, then you have to kind of wonder why am I acting.

Because you have a great way of kind of being real. Right. And that's a really important thing, especially today. Because stylistically, all that shit that you see on cable now, it's really come down to a very real conversational way of kind of behaving. Even comedy is real. That's your pain.

That's your pain. That four camera shoot shit is dead. Oh, that's the dead. Dead. Dead. Yeah, that's just dead. So when you get a script, you're going to go in a room by yourself and spaghetti read the lines. Do you put them on your phone, what do you do? Yeah well I am, it's funny man lately, there were a

lot of parts in the summer that I was auditioning for that were based on real people that you could find video on. There were like four or five characters that were in big series, great. Odd characters really bizarre different characters. Some were lawyers, some were prison workers, some were, but there were video on all these guys. So that's one thing. I had to learn how to how to find a cadence that was like those guys. So yeah, I would listen to those videos. I would record those videos of those guys and run when I do my running stuff. I would just listen to them videos. I would record those videos of those guys and run when I do my running stuff I would just listen to them over and over again. Yeah, and

But how do you get a like okay, you get the script. How do you get your lines down? Well those Those I have to I have to learn Second nature. So I definitely read them once I've read the script once I've read the script, once I've read the scene five or six times, I'll record it with very little added emotional bullshit. I'll just record the lines in a very kind of rope way but in a conversational way. So that I don't get any kind of like preconceived notions of how I'm going to say things.

You just kind of want to learn them. And then I'll use those as the thing I listen to. Whatever you're going to listen to music in your headphones, I would listen to that for an hour or two hours. And then I'll read it many times before I go to sleep. Four or five, six times before I go to sleep. Four or five, six times before I go to sleep. And then when I wake up, I'm just reading it, reading the scene.

Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it.

Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. Not saying it. you want to learn the lines as best as you can now by road so that it means so that they come to you just as second nature it's just that's the train track for the scene and then what your partner does informs how you behave right most of

the time the casting director isn't gonna give you very much nothing right and it might be just a reader an assistant well an assistant that that's when it becomes a real That's when your your chops are really tested you have to imagine the scene partner Coming out of that person's mouth right, right so you have to Imagine what the lead in the show or whoever that that scene partner is in your mind You have to imagine what they're gonna give you. And you have to make it real. You have to make it organic.

So you have to honestly respond to the imaginary side of the camera that isn't really as good as you want it to be most of the time. There are some cast and directors who are great at giving you just as much as you need You know, but then those associates that you're talking about sometimes they're operating in the camera and reading at the same time That's so hard dude. That is so I think I got my first job ever this year on that Situation where I mean it is stacked against you

It's not everyone though, but you think that they would make it in your favor. Somehow, they would have better choices if they would hire people to actors to act with these people. You're to learn the character and to act with these people. You have to win your way to that position now. Yeah, really. You have to be up for a big part in order to get with these people. You have to win your way to that position now. Yeah, really. You have to be up for a big part

in order to get with the director or the producer who's gonna give you what you need in that way. Now, when they... You have to beat the system. You have to get through the casting director into that position. So tomorrow I gotta go in there at two o'clock. You have to win that role tomorrow.

That's yours. That's it. Now, what are your suggestions to win it? You see me do it. We've done it a bunch of times. Now well let me tell you something that just came to me this year which is really killing negative self-talk. Really? This is a this is a meta way of looking. This is the work outside of the work that you've already done on the scene. You know the scene. You're gonna be great in this scene. But you have to start believing right now that you're on that set. You're going into rehearsal tomorrow in front of that camera, right? This is your part already.

Right. So you have to really believe that. What does that give you going in the room? It gives you the confidence to really go for it and not hold anything back. You're not going to get anything by holding back. So now, so let's go through this. I come in, I park the car, I'm reading all morning. Well, I'll tell you, I get it to the place, I take my idea out, I start to get nervous. To get in the elevator, you go up, you're looking to sign,

probably get lost. I'm always early. Okay, and then you get in there and you sign the thing. Get early. Get be there early. Okay, be there early. First thing I do, I go into the bathroom. Why?

I wash up. Always. Okay. Always wash up. Get the street off of you. There's a greatowning instructor that we had at college. His name is Leonard D'Ate. And it minimizes him by saying that that's what he teaches.

Because he's really one of the great physical stage actors I've ever seen in my life. But he used to teach an exercise called the Circus of the Gods, where we would imagine that we could do anything. We can walk into any room and lift the person sitting on the couch there and put them in the chair there, juggle the furniture, break down any wall. You had the power to do anything that your imagination has. So this is something that I do from the bathroom onward. In my mind I'm invincible. Now what

if you don't want to do that? That's okay too. You have to find your thing. You have to find your thing. But it has to be positive and it has to have some type of confidence. It has to give you power and confidence and also realize that odds are stacked against everyone that's going in and you, your belief in your talents to win this role have to be really top notch in order to win the role. I really believe that because they're looking and when they watch that tape,

they're dying for it to be you. They want it to be over. They don't want to watch anymore tapes. They're gonna watch all of them. No, that's right. But they're gonna be staring into this screen and going, please be the guy I wrote. Ha, ha, ha.

And that's also like sometimes it's, sorry guy, you were fucking great but you don't look or sound at all like the writer thought. Wow. So it's gonna be, Well, that's a thing too, is that, a lot of the roles I get are given to me because they wrote them for me,

because they saw me in something else. Right, absolutely. And I mean, there's nothing like that. Well, and that happens very rarely in Dennis, wrote a pretty great part in a series for you, just based on that. That's incredible. That happens very rarely. Louis did the, you know, Louis did the same thing. That's pretty hot. So I mean, look, look, I mean, you're leaning on your relationships

and that, I mean, you didn't even have to lean on them in that case, but you know the relationships that you've built and the talent you have that has been spotted by great people con bolotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismo en un momento, pero no es un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un momento de ser un Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Now get ready, go to the bathroom. No, oh, oh, oh, oh, it depends on if I need time. I mean, so you don't take the time, if you don't need it, you know, somebody. I don't need the time when I get there, man, I'm done. I've already been outside in the car for an hour. I mean, okay, so there you go, so now you go and you sign in whenever, if you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so now they call you in. They do. You walk into the room. That's right, how are you? Hi, how are you? No one wants to shake your hand. No, but don't shake hands. Well, they don't want to most of the time. Okay, so don't shake hands. Well, how well do you

know this cast? I hug and kiss some cast. Okay, but if you don't know them, don't shake hands. Now, do you want to sit or stand? This depends on the scene. Yeah. This depends on the scene. What if they see the war? I typically I like to sit. If you you're an actor and you want to be an actor. Yeah And you want to see an audition go pretty much as smoothly as it can go watch a hue Laurie audition for house did you you can google that on YouTube? You check it out on YouTube he'll worry auditioning for house sitting in a chair He's giving nothing, but he's built for that part, right? And he's got the scenes down. It is great. He's sitting down.

I don't know if one of the scenes needed to be standing or not. There are certain scenes that are unfair that they'll give you where it's too physical and you have to be standing. You can't be sitting like with a grenade. Dude, I've had the grigid- You're building a whole, you know,

pouring a whole cough. What are you doing in that situation? Well, building a whole, you know, you know, pouring a whole cough. What are you doing in that situation? Well, hey, you know, a lot of times now, it's self-taping. So I spent a lot, that's a whole other conversation. But yeah, I mean, self-taping is a whole beast. So what do you do in the situation where they're like,

look, you're supposed to be fighting a fire. Right. Well, you've got to choose physical moments in the scene, and you have to have them mapped out, and you have to know what you're going to do physically. Period. And you have to keep it simple. You cannot be doing Borat, doing that whole scene

for whatever it was. You remember what he auditioned for Law and Order? He does the whole episode. I forget what it was. You can't go in there all over the room. They're going to laugh you out of there. You have to have points that are clear to you that you're going to, you know, you and I

talk about this whole stuff. Let me ask you another question. Now, when you're doing a TV role or a film role, are you bigger on a TV role than you are in a film role? No, no, it's all subtle. Well, I am from a subtle school of behavior anyway. I mean, I just think it's more appealing to watch when people are simple.

Right, okay. So, I mean, I think, I think, but some stuff stylized though. You know, there's some stuff where I won't get it because it's broad, like, maybe I just didn't know the tone, but you gotta know the tone of the show. If you're going in for sunny and Philadelphia,

always sunny and Philadelphia, that stuff's fairly broad. Right. So you kinda have to have an amplified sense of yourself there. But that's, you're gonna see. So now you do the part, you fuck up a line, you stop or you just finish. You got to finish. And then at the end, what do you say?

Casting will try to do it again. They will try to do it again if they think you have a shot at all. Or if they have respect for you because they've had you in there before and they know you, you know, you and I have a different, you and I are journeymen who have been around and people know us in these rooms and they're going to be as helpful as they can but a lot of people who don't come in prepared if they fuck up lines and stuff like that it's gonna be great thanks Okay, so now

So you do the part they say you did a great job. Would you like me to do it again? No, I think it's great. And then you leave the room. What do you do then? Do you throw the script out and never think about it again? You're supposed to do that. I had a great audition, a great producer

who was teaching an auditioning class for us and he was like always have something scheduled. Schedule something, go to a movie, go play golf, do something fun, get to your job, do something except for think of that. Because that will kill you. There were a few parts in the last six months that I, one in particular that was like, I mean one of those real-life characters. I woke up as soon as I read it, it was mine in my brain. It was mine in my brain. How'd the audition go?

I killed it. And what happened? A month goes by and I don't hear anything and I know somebody who knows the director and I'm like, bro, I want to contact this guy and figure out why he didn't call me back. And he's like, I know, that kind of hurts. And he didn't call him for me because I didn't ask him.

And the next day I got a call back that I had to go back in four days in LA. I was in New York at the time. So I had to go to LA to my home. Okay. To audition for, and for a director session. And that went, I mean, and then I was like, I feel bad for every actor that's coming in for this,

because I'm taking this away. Okay. It's mine. I'm born to get this. Okay. I killed away. Okay. It's mine. I'm born to get this. Okay. I killed it. Okay. You leave the audition now?

I do. I feel sorry for all these bastards. Yeah. Casting calls my agent. He killed it. Great. He is considering the other guy. Okay.

This is something I've heard for 25 years. I mean, that one hurts. Yes. Uh, this one hurts. Yes. This one I actually went to an extra step, and I actually sent a video message to the director to let him know how much I cared. And that stopped him for a week, because he was about to cast the other guy. And it took him a week to lean on my passion for the thing before he wrote to me and said,

buddy, it could have been you, it was not you. You know, the other guy was going to get this. Who was it? I don't know. Shit! Fuck! That one hurt a lot. But look man, that shit's going to happen.

I dreamt that one for two months, that that was mine. I'm not sure it's gonna happen. This one that I'm doing right now, it happened, like I say, it happened on Instagram. As soon as I read it, I'm like, I'm getting this. And I got it. But, and I felt that way about it too. I put the audition together myself and that way.

We should film something while you're in New York. Maybe we're right, a scene together, a film. Why haven't we done that before? I don't know, I just thought of it right now. I think that's pretty easy. Yeah, you film it. I got the camera couldn't use my iPhone. I got lights, I got everything.

You know what, iPhone? Fuck yeah, why not? They do it all the time. I just thought of what we should do. I just shot a movie on a fucking iPhone. Let's use a flip phone. Shut up. You shh. I didn't, let's use a flip phone. Shut up. You shh.

I didn't, what's his name did? Who? Oh, the guy, the guy. You went and did the scene with him. What's his name? Are you allowed to say it? What's his name, yeah. The fuck is his name?

The famous director. The famous one. The guy who did King of the Hill. No, yes, he did King of the Hill. Not the television series, the Hill. No, yes, he did King of the Hill. Not the television series, the movie. Yes, yes. But he did, uh, oceans of Lev, oceans of Lev, it did Liberace. He did, uh, come on, he's the biggest director out there.

Quentin Terrence Soderberg. Soderberg. On an iPhone. He shot you on a knife. A movie shot. Are you gonna let us say that? I, fuck, I just did. I mean, dude, come on.

Bobby was in a movie, that Terrence Tarrantowers of America. Do you want to do it in a drama? Yes, I've been dying to do it. We should be doing this all the time. I told you we should write a pilot right away. I think we should write a pilot right away. Well, well maybe we should.

Just a two-hander. I mean this is, let's figure out what it's gonna be. Okay, let's both play women. Like, no. No, like, you know. Yeah, Tom Hanks and the other guy. Who's gonna be the other guy?

They're both women, do you, Jack? Yeah, I know, but one of them made it. The other one did Peter Schlaur. He did 25 years on television. I think he made it just as much money as anybody. Not as big as Hanks. Yeah, but Hanks is, he's married, you know. All right, listen, I gotta go do the other podcast. those biggest hanks. Yeah, but Hanks is, he's married, you know.

All right, listen, I gotta go do the other podcast. This has been a one-on-one special walking edition with coffee. With, yes, with the amazing Santa, microphone. I wanna say thank you to Santa Iser. Santa Iser. Santa Iser, German. Big fans of the gear. Very big fans of the gear.

I wanna thank you John Ailes for helping with my audition. We will this is a teaser We're gonna redo this podcast When don't touch that don't touch that I'm all good. We're gonna redo this podcast If I get the part after I do the part Bobby's getting this part. We'll see All right, we'll see you later. Say goodbye. Goodbye. You know what dude one on one. You know what dude All right, we'll see you later. Say goodbye. Goodbye. You know what dude one on one. You know what dude You've been listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening

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